WrestleMania Count-Up – WrestleMania XII (2026 Edition): The Clock Is Ticking

Wrestlemania XII
Date: March 31, 1996
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 18,853
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

It’s interesting to see Wrestlemania as a one match show and that is basically the case here. While there are other things on the card, such as Diesel vs. Undertaker, which should be a heck of a fight, this is ALL about Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels in a one hour Iron Man match. What else could you need? Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the Iron Man match and nothing more. At least they’re not hiding what they’re doing here.

Commentary at least acknowledges some of the other matches.

Vader/Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Jake Roberts/Ahmed Johnson/Yokozuna

If the latter team wins, Yokozuna gets five minutes with Jim Cornette, which is by far the biggest story here, with the other four just kind of there. Vader and Yokozuna slug it out to start and the other four come in, with the good guys cleaning house. Vader gets knocked to the floor and Yokozuna helps launch Johnson over the top and onto him for a huge crash. Back in and Yokozuna wins another slugout with Vader but drives him into the wrong corner.

Hart tags himself in and dropkicks Yokozuna for some reason, earning a hard elbow to the face. Bulldog pulls Yokozuna out of the way of a charge though and the villains take turns stomping away. Vader just unloads on Yokozuna to knock him down in the corner, only to walk into what would become the Rock Bottom. It’s off to Johnson, who is quickly knocked down in the corner as the villains are right back in control.

Hart kicks him down and then hits the jumping kick to the shoulder, only to get planted down rather hard. Cue Mr. Fuji to wave the American flag as Johnson makes the tag off to Roberts. The snap jabs have Hart in trouble but he gets a knee up in the corner to cut off the charge. Bulldog’s front facelock doesn’t last long as Roberts gets up but Vader is back in to pummel away (in a preview of their Boy Meets World showdown). Hart’s good looking top rope elbow gets two and Vader crushes him for the same.

Bulldog comes back in but misses a legdrop, allowing Yokozuna to come in. The huge right hands have Vader down in the corner and a splash crushes him as well, with Vader waving Hart in as he collapses. Yokozuna’s Samoan drop puts Bulldog down and it’s back to Roberts but Bulldog saves Hart from the DDT. Everything breaks down and the DDT hits Hart, which draws in Cornette with the racket. Roberts cuts him off but Vader runs in for the save (with Roberts looking over his shoulder until Vader comes in) and the Vader Bomb finishes at 13:09.

Rating: C+. This was all about Yokozuna vs. Vader, with the other two just happening to be there. That didn’t make for the best match as Yokozuna could only do so much, though those big right hands looked devastating. It’s also beyond weird to set up the “five minutes with the manager” deal and then not have it but Vader looked like enough of a monster to make up for it…I guess.

We recap Goldust vs. Roddy Piper, which is all about Goldust being obsessed/possibly in lust with Piper, who wants to “make a man” out of Goldust. To say this is uncomfortable in a lot of ways is an understatement.

Marlena, with champagne on ice, is in the back.

Goldust vs. Roddy Piper

This is the Hollywood Back Lot Brawl, meaning they’re fighting in a lot outside. Goldust comes up in his gold Cadillac so Piper sprays it with a fire hose and beats on the car with a baseball bat. Goldust is sent into a catering table and smashed with a garbage can (complete with garbage for once), followed by a ram into a dumpster.

Piper rams him into various things and hits some VERY stiff sounding shots to the face, only to get hit low. Goldust jumps back in the Cadillac and hits a Piper shaped stunt man, who hangs onto the hood and crashes onto the ground. With Goldust gone, Piper jumps into a white Bronco (which Goldust hit on his way out) and the chase is on. It was certainly intense, but the Bronco aspect isn’t a good sign.

Steve Austin vs. Savio Vega

Austin is still Million Dollar Champion and has Ted DiBiase with him, but he is Stone Cold. After a fired up Vega says he’s ready for anything, they slug it out to start and brawl on the mat. That’s not enough so they go outside, with Vega firing off some chops to take over. Back in and Austin drops some elbows before cranking away on the arms. Vega gets back up and kicks Austin in the face as Roddy Piper calls in to rant about chasing Goldust.

Austin goes back to the arm and sends it into the post but a reverse chinlock is quickly broken up. The armbar goes on again as Piper calls in again to promise to beat up Goldust again. Vega is back with a crossbody but Austin Thesz presses him for two (that’s so weird to see) and they go into a pinfall reversal sequence for two each. We go split screen to some footage of the OJ Simpson car chase, which is apparent Piper going after Goldust.

As for the Wrestlemania match going on at the moment, Vega kicks him in the face and hits a crossbody but Austin knocks him down again. Austin goes to the top (HUH?) but dives into a raised boot to leave them both down. Vega clotheslines away and tries a spinwheel kick, which hits the referee by mistake. DiBiase throws in the belt and Austin tries a Million Dollar Dream, only to get kicked in the face. DiBiase offers another distraction though and there’s a pair of belt shots to the head. Vega is out as Austin puts on the Million Dollar Dream for the win at 10:20.

Rating: C+. The match was fine, but the focus was on Piper’s car chase because that’s the “interesting” part. I get that it’s a bigger angle, but this is the kind of thing that belongs on Raw, not Wrestlemania. Austin was still figuring his stuff out here, as he was nothing compared to what he would wind up being, which was a rather necessary change.

Post match Austin won’t let go of the hold until a referee talks him out of it. As he and DiBiase leave, we get another shot of the OJ Simpson driving footage, which Vince says looks familiar. I’m already sick of this and the winking at the joke isn’t helping.

Diesel says he doesn’t sweat the big things or the little things either. He’s coming for Shawn Michaels next.

More car footage, with Lawler now saying it feels like deja vu.

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Here’s an infamous one. Helmsley has a certain blonde with him, with commentary being rather impressed. Apparently her name is Sable. Lawler’s story of Warrior being 400lbs and bald is proven wrong as Warrior looks mostly like his old self. Helmsley jumps him to start fast and hits the Pedigree in less than forty seconds, with Warrior popping up. Warrior Warriors up, hits some clotheslines, and finishes with the gorilla press and splash at 1:39. And Helmsley has yet to live it down for the rest of his career.

We meet the debuting Wildman Mark Mero, who is ready to face the best around here. Helmsley comes in and bumps into Mero before yelling at Sable. Helmsley shoves Mero and the brawl is on to give Mero his first feud.

Piper and Goldust are still driving.

Diesel vs. Undertaker

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker and they’re fighting after both of them cost the other the WWF Title. Also of note: you can see the clock for the Iron Man match over the Titantron during Undertaker’s entrance, which is quite the gaffe for a promotion that usually does well with production. They slug it out to start with Diesel knocking him into the corner for some elbows to the face.

Undertaker knocks him back down but misses the big elbow. Instead they go outside and Diesel is sent face first into the steps before they go back back inside. It’s way too early for the Tombstone so Undertaker actually goes aerial with a crossbody. The big running clothesline misses though and Undertaker rolls to the apron, where he’s fine enough to snap off a Stunner.

Back in and Undertaker punches him out to the floor, where a big chair shot only hits the post. Diesel is back with a ram into the post, which he does again because it’s Wrestlemania. A running knee cuts off Undertaker from getting back inside so Diesel tosses him back in, which seems a bit contradictory. Back in and a big boot puts Undertaker down again, followed by the side slam for two.

Snake Eyes sets up the running crotch attack in the ropes and Diesel if looking rather cocky. Undertaker tries to fight back and they hit stereo big boots to put them both down again. Diesel is fine enough to grab a bearhug, which stays on until Undertaker manages a belly to back suplex. Undertaker’s top rope rope clothesline gets two but Diesel gets in a shot to the back.

A quick Jackknife connects (as audio messes up, with quite the feedback) but Diesel spends too much time trash talking, allowing Undertaker to sit up. Another Jackknife connects, with Diesel mocking Bearer this time. That earns Diesel a grab around the throat so he punches Undertaker back down. Undertaker gets up again and grabs him by the throat, only to get suplexed. That doesn’t work either, as Undertaker gets up, hits a chokeslam and Tombstones Diesel for the win at 16:46.

Rating: B-. This was a different kind of Wrestlemania match for Undertaker, as he was finally facing someone who was giving him a realistic threat (give me a break on Giant Gonzalez being someone who could beat him). Diesel was not that far removed from around a year long reign as WWF Champion and was still the top heel in the company. They had a good enough power match, with Undertaker surviving Diesel’s best stuff and winning in the end, which is quite the boost to the Streak.

The zoom out shot of Diesel out cold on the Wrestlemania logo is still awesome.

Rhodes and Piper return, with Piper’s Bronco hitting Goldust’s Cadillac on the way in. Goldust tries to escape, with Marlena consoling him, but Piper chases them off (with the camera catching Diesel just chilling) and they come into the arena. They get inside with Goldust getting in a cheap shot and rubbing his (own) chest. Goldust picks him up for a rub of the back of Piper’s jeans, which has Piper fighting back until a low blow cuts him down again.

Piper gets his shirt torn off and Goldust uses it to choke, but the threat of a kiss has Piper fighting back. Goldust goes up and gets crotched, but manages to kiss Piper anyway. That’s too far for Piper, who goes off on Goldust and rips his gear off, revealing Goldust’s bizarre lingerie. Piper hits him low and Goldust runs, covering his chest on the way out. This was every bit of the stupid mess you would expect, though the fans seemed to love Piper, as usual.

We recap Bret Hart defending the WWF Title against Shawn Michaels in the one hour Iron Man match. They’ve followed similar paths to get here and Michaels apparently has a boyhood dream of being the WWF Champion (ignore that he wouldn’t have been watching the WWF as a boy who didn’t grow up in the northeast). Hart is basically billed as the perfect wrestler while Michaels is just talented enough to give him a threat. They’re going for an hour, most falls win.

Gorilla Monsoon is officially the President of the WW, which was kind of a perfect spot for him at this point.

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

Hart is defending in a one hour Iron Man match. Michaels’ manager Jose Lothario comes out with no Michaels, but he points to the rafters. That gives us one of the most iconic entrances of all time, as Michaels ziplines down from the top of the arena and lands in the crowd before coming to the ring. Yeah it still works. Hart comes out as well and we get a long explanation of the rules to really make this feel more important.

Hart goes for an early takedown but Michaels wrestles him right back down and they stand off again. A headlock works a big better for Hart and it’s time to start burning some clock. Michaels fights up and gets taken back down as we’re over six minutes in. Michaels is back up with some armdrags into an armbar, with Hart’s escape just landing him in a hammerlock. Back up and a headscissors out of the corner sends Hart outside at about the ten minute mark for the first big spot.

Hart gets back in and sends Michaels over the ropes for some cat skinning, earning Michaels a knee to the ribs. The chinlock goes on again but Michaels is back up, only to pull him into a Fujiwara armbar. Hart fights up again and takes Michaels down, followed by a clothesline to the floor. Michaels whips him into the timekeeper’s area and tries the superkick, which kills the timekeeper dead at the fifteen minute mark.

Back in and Hart grabs a chinlock as commentary tries to get some help for the out cold timekeeper. After a few minutes, Michaels gets up and armdrags him down, only to get clotheslined into another chinlock. This one doesn’t last as long as Michaels is up with a dropkick into another armbar. Michaels pulls him down to cut off a comeback as this is just the two of them laying around in holds to burn time.

Back up and Hart gets taken down with a shoulderbreaker, followed by some whips into the corner. Hart fights up with some right hands but gets dropped with a DDT on the arm. Michaels cranks on the arm some more but gets catapulted into the post for a rather delayed two. Well at least they did something different. Michaels fights back but Hart goes up for a driving knee to the back of the head. Back up and Hart grabs a piledriver for two (Lawler: “How’d he kick out of a piledriver???”) as we’re over halfway done.

Michaels gets up for a hurricanrana and hammers away but it’s too early for the superkick. A backbreaker gives Michaels two and Hart has to bail to the floor before the superkick can launch. That means Michaels gets in a great looking dive to put them both down on the floor. Back in and Hart rolls through a high crossbody for two but Michaels rolls him up for the same.

Michaels grabs a sleeper and Lawler asks the logical question of what happens if Hart goes out: does he get counted out over and over or can you get a bunch of consecutive covers? Naturally McMahon has no idea, even though it’s a rather valid question. Hart flips out but gets elbowed and kicked in the face to knock him back down. Michaels charges into a backdrop over the top and wipes out a cameraman for one heck of a great shot.

For some reason Hart brings him back inside (Lawler can’t believe the stupidity) and starts in on the back, including a middle rope elbow. A Banzai Drop to the back lets Hart whip him into the corner, with Michaels flipping up into position for a belly to back superplex. We’re off to the reverse chinlock for a bit until Michaels reverses into a rollup for two. Hart stays calm and goes to the back again before knocking Michaels out of the air.

Back up and Michaels is thrown over the top, where he lands on Lothario, little to Hart’s chagrin. Hart takes him back inside for a belly to belly suplex and another near fall. The O’Connor roll gives Michaels two and the kickout sends him outside. That means Hart can hit a suicide dive, followed by a German suplex for two back inside. Hart slowly hammers away and we’re back to the reverse chinlock with ten minutes left. The hold eats up over two minutes until Michaels fights out for a double clothesline.

Michaels goes up so Hart superplexes him down for the big crash and they’re both down with six minutes left. A half crab sends Michaels to the rope so Hart gives him another backbreaker. Hart goes up and dives into some raised boots so they can breathe again. Michaels sends him hard into the corner and comes back with the forearm into the nipup, leaving Lawler stunned at the comeback. A spinning top rope ax handle gives Michaels two as we have three minutes to go.

The top rope elbow gives Michaels two and a nice gutwrench powerbomb gets the same with two minutes to go. Michaels’ top rope moonsault press gets another near fall as the fans are getting into this again. The middle rope hurricanrana gives Michaels two and he goes up again, only to dive into the Sharpshooter with thirty four seconds to go. Michaels screams a lot but manages to hang on as time expires at 1:00:00.

Hold on though as Monsoon says we’re not done, because THERE MUST BE A WINNER. Hart is not happy at all, which is fair as he survived the hour at a tie, which should go to the champion. Either way we’re going to sudden death overtime. The ticked off Hart hammers away on the back and hits a backdrop as it’s time to blow off some steam. Michaels gets sent into the corner and jumps over Hart, finally hitting the superkick (the first time as a fan that I actually jumped out of my chair watching wrestling). Hart gets up first but Michaels is right there for another superkick for the pin and the title at 1:01:50.

Michaels – 1
Hart – 0

Rating: C. There are very few matches in WWE history as debated as this one and I can see why. On one hand, it’s impressive that they went a whole hour and Michaels did get the big win, with the last few minutes and overtime being rather good. The problem here boils down to everything else, as it just wasn’t that interesting. Rather than having a good match that lasted an entire hour, it felt like they were trying to do whatever they could to get through an hour.

That made for a lot of laying around in holds, which might have made sense but it didn’t make for an entertaining match. This would have been far better as a one fall match that happened to go for about forty five minutes, as it adds more drama and doesn’t spend so much time burning clock. It’s far from some kind of a disaster, but it’s not that interesting and there are LONG stretches that didn’t keep me interested whatsoever.

Post match Hart is livid as Michaels is awarded the title and glares at him on the way up the aisle. Michaels gets all emotional and then celebrates a lot to end the show.

We get the long highlight package to wrap it up, set to the still outstanding Pump It Up Wrestlemania theme.

Overall Rating: C. This show was the definition of a one match card, with Undertaker vs. Diesel being a very distant second. The Michaels stuff (from the entrance to the win) is very memorable, but it needed something else to make the whole thing work. It’s far from a bad Wrestlemania, but it’s not remembered very fondly. I get the different lines of thinking on the main event, though it wasn’t enough to carry the show. Not awful, but definitely in the bottom half of Wrestlemanias.

Ratings Comparison

Camp Cornette vs. Yokozuna/Jake Roberts/Ahmed Johnson

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C-
2026 Redo: C+

Steve Austin vs. Savio Vega

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C
2026 Redo: C+

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2026 Redo: N/A

Undertaker vs. Diesel

Original: B
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: B
2026 Redo: B-

Roddy Piper vs. Goldust

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2026 Redo: N/A

Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2026 Redo: C

Overall Rating

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: C

Well that’s a big drop for the Iron Man match and…yeah despite the consistent B’s beforehand, I really do not see it being that high. Maybe I’m just getting cranky over the years.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Superstars – January 26, 1997: Bowl Me Over (Includes Full Show)

Superstars
Date: January 26, 1997
Location: Cajun Dome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Attendance: 6,075
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jim Cornette

This is a random show that popped up on the WWE Vault but it seems to be football themed. In this case we have the Superstar Bowl, which is apparently an elimination tag match. That should make for an interesting show, with the bonus of the Royal Rumble taking place a week earlier. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at Shawn Michaels regaining the WWF Title at the Royal Rumble.

Opening sequence.

Commentary runs down the card.

Godwinns vs. Nation Of Domination vs. Doug Furnas/Philip LaFon vs. Owen Hart/British Bulldog

This is the Superstars Bowl (meaning an elimination tag), Bulldog and Hart’s Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line, and Sunny is guest timekeeper. LaFon and Bulldog start things off with LaFon pulling him down into a kneebar, sending Bulldog straight to the rope. Bulldog pulls him out of the air but can’t gets the powerslam.

Furnas comes in to take Hart down but Hart is right back to crank on the leg. A slap brings in LaFon, which means Hart and Bulldog can stomp on Furnas as good heels should. Phineas tags himself in to suplex Hart onto LaFon but Crush breaks up the Slop Drop. A dropkick sends Phineas into a rollup to give LaFon the elimination at 3:53.

We take a break and come back with Bulldog clotheslining Faarooq so Furnas can get a quick two. A missed charge lets Furnas armdrag Crush and let’s go split screen so Hunter Hearst Helmsley (with his butler Curtis, better known as Mr. Hughes) can talk about his match tonight with Ahmed Johnson. They shouldn’t be in the same ring together, but there are proper showers and soap here so it can happen before their title match at In Your House.

Back in the ring, Furnas hurricanranas Hart down but gets his head kicked off with an enziguri for two. Bulldog comes in and throws Furnas into the corner, where Crush comes in to hammer Furnas down. A backbreaker drops Furnas and it’s back to Bulldog for the delayed vertical suplex. Bulldog picks him up again but Faarooq sneaks in with a chop block to give Furnas the fluke pin at 12:22. We cut to Honky Tonk Man trying to recruit Rocky Maivia and we take another break.

We come back with Furnas fighting out of a chinlock and go split screen so Ahmed Johnson can call the Intercontinental Title the “people’s title”. Cornette thanks Johnson for taking time away from his job as a UN interpreter (ha) and come back to Faarooq being punched out of the air (Cornette knew that was a bad idea). LaFon comes in to clean house until Crush belly to back suplexes him out of the corner. Furnas takes Crush out to the floor but Faarooq grabs the Dominator to pin LaFon at 19:06.

Rating: C+. It was perfectly acceptable, but the tag division was hardly in a good place at this point. Bulldog and Hart were good, but Furnas and LaFon just never connected. While they were definitely talented in the ring, they weren’t the kind of team who was going to become a big deal. There wasn’t really anything unique about the match either, though I can go with having something special for a big day.

We look at the controversial ending to the Royal Rumble (with Steve Austin slipping back in and winning), setting up the outstanding Final Four match at In Your House.

On Raw, Bret Hart went on a great rant against Vince McMahon about Steve Austin. Believe it or not, he doesn’t like Shawn Michaels either and since he can’t get an opportunity, he quits.

Later in the night, Austin says Hart hasn’t quit complaining since he got back. He should just go back to Canada because the only man he can beat is his wrinkled old man.

Also later in the night, Gorilla Monsoon set up the four way at Final Four. This brought out Austin to complain about the whole thing and threatened Monsoon as well. Hart returned and brawled with Austin, as was his custom.

The four in the match brawled to end the show.

Here is Hart in person for a chat. He doesn’t want to be remembered as a loser or a quitter but he hates Steve Austin. He’s looking forward to Final Four though because he can beat all three guys at once. This place is kind of like King Of The Hill and he’s almost got his hands on the prize at the top, but there are three people stomping on his fingers. They won’t stop him though, because he will be the WWF Champion for the fourth time. This was Hart trying to say “yeah I’m still my old self, forget that whining on Monday.”.

We look at Savio Vega turning on Ahmed Johnson and joining the Nation Of Domination. Naturally he wasn’t here earlier because of the taping schedule but that’s not something we talk about.

Ahmed Johnson vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Non-title and Curtis is here with Helmsley. Johnson shoves him down with ease to start and then hits a running shoulder. This allows us to do little more than have Johnson stand in one place, which is a good idea. Johnson clotheslines him down and hits a kick to the ribs, followed by an ax kick (with the far leg for some reason). Helmsley knocks him to the floor and we take a break as Goldust and Marlena are watching in the back.

We come back with Helmsley dropping a knee for two as frustration is setting in. Johnson manages a suplex and wins a slugout, which has Helmsley making a hand signal. That’s enough for Curtis to come in with a belt shot but Johnson sends Helmsley outside on the kickout. The spinebuster looks to set up the Pearl River Plunge but Curtis runs in for the DQ at 13:38.

Rating: C-. I was a huge Ahmed Johnson fan back in the day but my goodness that man was a special kind of terrible. He would make the most basic stuff look awkward and was usually at his best when he wasn’t doing much. That’s not exactly a great sign, and the ending didn’t make me want to see these two fight for the title again. It’s no wonder why Johnson got such a huge push, but it’s also no surprise that it really didn’t work for him in the end.

Post match Johnson Hulks Up to take out Curtis as Goldust runs in to brawl with Helmsley to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It was a nice look back at a time of transition in the WWF, but that doesn’t mean it was a particularly good show. The Superstars Bowl was a bit of a treat but the long Raw recap and the not exactly noteworthy main event didn’t help. I do like seeing a random episode from this time as it’s such a flashback and different from just putting up Raw, though a better show would be nice.

 

 

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 1997 (2012 Redo): They Survived

Survivor Series 1997
Date: November 9, 1997
Location: Molson Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Attendance: 20,593
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We had to get here eventually. This is the show that changes everything in wrestling, as we officially enter into the new era. It’s also the last appearance by Bret Hart in the WWF for over 13 years, as this show has the most infamous ending to a match and a show in wrestling history. You young people often hear references to Montreal? Well this is the show they’re talking about. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the Iron Man Match, where Shawn won the title in overtime. Bret has since gone insane and claimed conspiracy after conspiracy against him, mainly led by Vince and Shawn. The main event tonight is Bret vs. Shawn II. By that I mean about Bret vs. Shawn VIII (It’s not even their first world title match at Survivor Series) but you get the point.

There’s a Karate Fighters (game at the time) flying around. I’m sure people who paid good money for their seats are THRILLED that they get to look at a blimp instead of being able to see the ring.

Team New Age Outlaws vs. Team Headbangers

New Age Outlaws, Godwinns

Headbangers, New Blackjacks

The Outlaws I’m sure you know, the Godwinns are evil here and are Henry and Phineas, the Headbangers are Mosh and Thrasher, and the Blackjacks are Barry Windham and Bradshaw. Windham (looking FAT here) starts with Phineas, the latter of which is immediately knocked to the floor with a shoulder block. This is when the Outlaws are a new team of jobbers who would soon shock the world and win the titles from the LOD.

Off to Bradshaw who looks skinny here by comparison to what he would become. Phineas gets a boot up in the corner as the evil ones take over. The Outlaws don’t want to come in so it’s off to Henry instead. Bradshaw gets two off a legsweep and puts on an abdominal stretch before falling back and rolling up Henry for the pin. Back to Windham to face Phineas, with Barry hitting a gutwrench suplex and a lariat for two. Phineas comes back with a clothesline of his own for the elimination and to tie it up at three.

Mosh comes in to take over on Phineas with a devastating armbar. It’s off to Billy who beats down Mosh and receives homophobic chants in his general nature. Or maybe it’s something in French. We get down to some basic wrestling and the fans go SILENT. Mosh tries a bulldog but Billy shoves him off and gets the pin for a quick elimination. It’s Thrasher/Bradshaw vs. Phineas/Outlaws.

Thrasher (trivia for you: Thrasher had a big hand in training Big Show) comes in and works on the arm but Phineas takes him down in return. The action in this match is really dull so far. Thrasher goes up and hits the Stage Dive (top rope seated senton) for the pin to make it 2-2. Off to Bradshaw vs. Road Dogg with the future JBL pounding away. A gutwrench powerbomb puts Dogg down but a Billy distraction lets Roadie get a school boy to pin Bradshaw.

Thrasher pounds on Dogg but walks into a pumphandle slam. He counters into a cover on the Dogg, but Billy comes off the top with a legdrop. Now when I say legdrop, I mean he literally is a foot away from Thrasher but gets the pin anyway. This looked so bad that even though I had seen it before, it still made my jaw drop. The Outlaws survive.

Rating: F-. The ending alone makes this a failure, but on top of that, the best worker in this match by far was Thrasher. Let that sink in for a minute. The Outlaws had only been the Outlaws for a month and a half or so at this point so no one cared about them, the Godwinns are as interesting as corporate accounting, the Blackjacks are the Blackjacks, and the Headbangers are barely interesting at all. This was a horrible match and an even worse choice for an opener.

Truth Commission vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

Jackyl, Interrogator, Sniper, Recon

Crush, 8-Ball, Skull, Chainz

The Truth Commission is based on a real South African thing, where there were a lot of crimes were committed during Apartheid and the government said “tell the truth that you committed/witnessed these crimes and say you’re sorry.” Amazingly enough it calmed a lot of people down and made the situation a lot better. That being said, I have NO idea why it’s used as a wrestling gimmick. In short, they’re a military themed group. That sums them up as simply as I can.

Jackyl is the leader and is more famous as Cyrus in ECW. Interrogator is Kurrgan and the real star of the team. Sniper is a French Canadian wrestler who means nothing at all and Recon is Bull Buchanan. Crush is Crush, 8-Ball and Skull are big twins and Chainz is Brian Lee from ECW. This really doesn’t scream interesting to me but this is during the Gang Warz period which didn’t ever do anything for me.

Interrogator and Chainz start things off after a brawl with Chainz hammering away but having no visible effect. A sidewalk slam eliminates Chainz in about a minute. Off to Recon vs. 8-Ball with Recon hitting a World’s Strongest Slam for no cover. Jackyl comes in for what might be the only match he ever wrestled in WWF. Apparently that’s almost true as he only had some Shotgun Saturday Night matches other than this. He’s much better as a manager anyway.

Jackyl drops a top rope knee which is immediately no sold. He chops away a bit but walks into a sidewalk slam for the pin to make it 3-3. Sniper jumps 8-Ball and hits some elbows for two as Jackyl is on commentary now. Off to Crush, the leader of the team, who stomps away on Sniper a bit. Recon comes back in to face Skull and they collide, sending Skull to the floor. 8-Ball comes in illegally and clotheslines Recon down for the pin.

Sniper comes in to beat on Skull but gets caught in a double spinebuster from the twins for two. Interrogator hits 8-Ball from the apron and Sniper hits a bulldog for the elimination, making it 2-2. If this match sounds like a total mess that is hard to follow, it’s because that’s being nice about what’s going on.

Off to Crush for a figure four headscissors on Recon. Skull (I’m picking the names arbitrarily. It makes absolutely no difference at all and JR has no idea which is which anyway) DDTs Sniper but walks into a sidewalk slam from Interrogator for the pin. It’s Crush vs. Sniper and Interrogator and Crush immediately powerslams Sniper down for the pin. Interrogator is in the ring before the pin hits and ANOTHER FREAKING SIDEWALK SLAM gives Interrogator the final pin and the victory.

Rating: F. In ten minutes, we had seven eliminations, FOUR of which were by the SAME FREAKING MOVE. This was another match where just like the first, there was no one out there that could carry things to make the match work in any way. It makes Interrogator looks good, but it barely accomplished that because of how bad the match was.

We’re about thirty five minutes into the show and it may be the worst thirty five minutes to open a show that I’ve ever seen.

Some fans pick the main event. It’s pretty much split.

Austin answers some questions from America Online.

We recap Team Canada vs. Team USA. Steve Blackman is in the match for the Americans now after running into the ring to save Vader on Monday so tonight is his debut.

Vader says his team doesn’t look the same but that’s because they’re Americans.

Team Canada (captained by an Englishman) says they’ll win.

Team USA vs. Team Canada

Vader, Steve Blackman, Marc Mero, Goldust

British Bulldog, Jim Neidhart, Doug Furnas, Phillip Lafon

If this is the best America can do, I need to learn to speak Canadian. Team America comes out to Angle’s music. Naturally the Americans are booed out of the building. The Canadians come out to Bret’s music to make sure the idea is hammered home. Furnas is from Oklahoma and Neidhart is from Nevada, but he had dual citizenship so it’s not as insane. I think Furnas has the long hair but I can never remember which is which.

Mero, wearing a hat, starts with Bulldog. Mero takes off the hat and Bulldog wipes himself with it, making him a hero in America. Bulldog knocks Mero to the floor and makes fun of Blackman’s martial arts in a funny bit. Vader comes in sans tag and works on Smith’s arm but jumps into a slam. Bulldog EASILY suplexes Vader and it’s off to Lafon. I was right about Furnas having the long hair. Good to know.

Back to Mero who hits a knee lift but gets his head kicked off by Lafon, followed by a clothesline for two. Off to Neidhart and then right back to Lafon. Blackman comes in and JR points out that Steve isn’t a wrestler. Lafon DDTs him for two and gets a crucifix for the same. Blackman fights off Team Canada on his own but gets caught on the floor in a fight with Furnas and Lafon, resulting in a countout elimination.

It’s Mero vs. Neidhart now with Jim missing a middle rope splash. Vader comes in and is immediately knocked down twice by Neidhart. Vader comes back with the running body attack and a splash for the pin. Lafon comes in again with some kicks to send Vader to the floor. Back in and Lafon is sent rolling to the corner and a big belly to belly puts him down. A middle rope splash is enough to put Lafon out, leaving Bulldog and Furnas vs. Vader, Mero and Goldust.

Furnas comes in to pound away but misses a dropkick, allowing the tag in to Mero. Has Goldie been in there yet? Mero pounds Furnas down and goes up for a moonsault press and it looks AWFUL, with Furnas going down like he was trying to powerslam Mero out of the air but Mero hitting the move like usual. Either way it gets two and it’s off to Bulldog because Furnas doesn’t seem to be sure what planet he’s on.

Mero escapes the Bulldog powerslam and blasts Smith with a right hand. Back to Furnas who fires off the rights and lefts. Furnas does the exact same thing, but Mero is a legitimate former amateur boxing champion so that’s not really a fair contest. Mero tries a rollup but gets reversed into one by Furnas who grabs a handful of tights to get us down to 2-2.

Vader pounds on Furnas as the King laments Sable having to leave with Mero. Furnas clotheslines Vader down and it’s off to Bulldog again. Goldust, who apparently has a broken hand, STILL doesn’t want to come in. Vader suplexes Furnas down but Furnas hits Vader low. When Vader gets another break from Bulldog, Goldie hides on the floor from a tag. Furnas suplexes Vader down but doesn’t tag. A Frankensteiner takes Vader down for two but Vader no sells it.

Vader slugs Goldust in the face and pulls him into the ring. This is when Goldust walked out on Marlena when she was pregnant because he didn’t want the responsibility or the lack of attention. Goldust walks out for a countout but Vader slams Furnas down and hits the Vader Bomb for the elimination. Vader turns around and is knocked silly with the ring bell from Bulldog for the final elimination.

Rating: C-. This was a better match by miles and miles than the first two, mainly due to people with actual talent being in there. On top of that, the people CARED about the match and it makes the match a lot better by result. The result was never in doubt given how worthless Team America was, but it was cool to see Vader getting to be like his old self, even for one night. The match still wasn’t great but after the first two matches tonight, this was a masterpiece by comparison.

Buy Austin’s shirt!

We recap Kane vs. Mankind, by talking about Undertaker. The idea here is that Undertaker kept saying Kane wasn’t alive, but Bearer insisted he was. Kane showed up at Badd Blood and cost Taker the first Cell match. Kane destroyed various people, including Dude Love. Dude left but was replaced by a certain Mankind. Mankind offered to stand up to the monster and tonight it’s Kane’s debut match. Mankind’s solution to Kane: hit him in the head with a pipe. I love it when things get basic like that.

Mankind promises to charge against a brick wall as many times as it takes until it goes down, and if he dies launching himself into that brick wall, so be it. If that’s what it takes to get to Paul Bearer, so be it.

Kane vs. Mankind

The brawl starts immediately on the floor with Kane throwing Mankind into the steps. Kane has the red lights ala Sin Cara during his matches at this point. With Mankind half dead in the ring, Kane does the corner fire deal and the match starts. Mankind fights up and a Cactus Clothesline puts both of them on the floor. Kane knocks him right back down and throws the steps at Mankind’s head to take him down one more time. Back in and Mankind charges into a big boot and Kane chokes away in the corner.

Kane sends it to the floor again and beats on Mankind some more, but Foley hot shots him onto the steps to slow the monster down. A chair to the head knocks Kane back into the ring and there’s a piledriver, but Mankind goes after Bearer instead of Kane. Kane sits up and chokeshoves Mankind off the apron and through the announce table. The Spanish one of course.

Kane loads up a chokeslam on the floor but Mankind kicks him low (which only works on Kane on occasion) and DDTs him on the concrete. The elbow off the apron hits Kane again but Kane sits up and slams Mankind off the top to the floor. Back in and Mankind literally pulls himself up to his feet and is immediately tombstoned for the pin.

Rating: C+. When you have a new guy you want to put over, you call Mick Foley. This is a match you have to think about to get why it worked. First and foremost, Kane is supposed to be a monster who has very little experience in the ring. Think of him like Jason from Friday the 13th or something like that (Youtube Jerry Lawler vs. Jason. It’s EXACTLY what it sounds like and it actually exists) as someone who just wants carnage instead of wanting to be technical. These two beat the tar out of each other and it made Kane look unstoppable. That would continue for about five and a half months until the Dead Man came back.

Vince says the main event will happen tonight.

Team Legion of Doom vs. Nation of Domination

Legion of Doom, Ken Shamrock, Ahmed Johnson

Farrooq, The Rock, Kama Mustafa, D’Lo Brown

The LOD and company talk about being ready for war. The LOD are tag champions. Hawk and Brown start with D’Lo bouncing off Hawk. Hawk no sells a piledriver as is his custom and a neckbreaker puts Brown down. Off to Rocky who gets knocked around but someone hits Hawk in the back and the yet to be named Rock Bottom eliminates Bird Man.

Off to Ahmed who “hits” a jumping back elbow to take Rock down. Kama, a freaking monster who would become a pimp named Godfather, is in next and takes Johnson down with one shot. Farrooq is in next to work on Ahmed’s ribs and continue a feud that went on for like a year. Brown whips Ahmed with a belt which the referee somehow doesn’t hear. Farrooq loads up the Dominator but Johnson escapes (while falling down) and hits a Pearl River Plunge (Tiger Driver) for the elimination.

Brown comes in again and hits a quick Low Down for no cover. Johnson starts no selling and hits a sitout gordbuster. Farrooq is still at ringside. Rock comes in but walks into a spinebuster. Ahmed hits the ropes but Farrooq trips him up and holds the foot so Rocky can get the pin. It’s Animal/Shamrock vs. Brown/Rocky/Kama at the moment. Animal comes in to face Rocky but it’s quickly off to Shamrock. Ken is still somewhat new here so his style still looks fresh.

A big dropkick puts Rocky down and it’s off to Kama. After getting beaten around for a bit, Kama puts on a front facelock to slow things down. A double clothesline puts both guys down but not for long. Some LOUD noise freaks everyone out and JR and King don’t know what it was either. Anyway Animal gets two off a legdrop but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. Kama showboats a bit too much though and Animal dropkicks him in the back and gets a rollup for the pin.

Brown comes in and during the distraction, Rocky hits Shamrock low for two. D’Lo hooks a chinlock followed by a backbreaker, but his moonsault misses by about two feet. The Outlaws come out while wearing the stolen LOD shoulder pads, and we’ve got powder and a shoved referee. Animal gets counted out during this mess, leaving us with Brown/Rock vs. Shamrock.

JR talks about how many people Shamrock has made tap out. Jerry: “This is wrestling. You don’t win by making people tap out.” JR: “…….YEAH YOU DO!” Brown starts but it’s both Nation members in there at once. Shamrock runs them both over, suplexes Brown and gets the submission via ankle lock. Rock cracks Ken in the back with a chair shot but it only gets two. Rock hits his spinning DDT for two as does the People’s Elbow (not a thing yet). Ken comes back with a northern lights suplex and a standing hurricanrana. There’s the ankle lock and Rocky is done.

Rating: C. This was a little messy but it pushed Shamrock hard while the heat for Rocky was INSANE. The crowd hated him and Vince certainly took notice. Both of these guys would get huge pushes in the next year with Rock winning the title at next year’s Survivor Series. The LOD were in their very last run of note here and they didn’t go out well after that. Fun match here although not great from a technical standpoint at all.

We recap Austin vs. Owen. Austin was challenging for the IC Title at Summerslam when Owen piledrove him, legitimately hurting his neck (and in the long run saving the company because of what Austin had to evolve into) and paralyzing Austin for a few minutes. Austin amazingly enough finished the match and WON THE TITLE, which is remarkable when you think about it. He had to forfeit the title but tonight he’s going for it again.

Intercontinental Title: Steve Austin vs. Owen Hart

Owen is defending, having won the title in a tournament since Austin was hurt. Owen has Lafon, Furnas and Bulldog with him. Hart stalls forever on the floor while rocking an Owen 3:16 (I Just Broke Your Neck) shirt. Neidhart tries to sneak in on Austin but walks into a Stunner. The champion gets in a shot to start and tries a piledriver, much to the crowd’s delight. Owen wraps the knee around the post but gets kicked in the face.

The Hart Foundation leaves and Austin clotheslines Owen in the back on the floor. Hart puts Owen onto the broken Spanish Announce Table before choking away with a cord. Hart wants to be DQ’ed and rings the bell early. WOW that’s almost eerie. Back in and Austin stomps Owen in the corner, hits the Stunner and wins the title. It’s as quick as it sounds.

Rating: D+. This was barely four minutes long. I’d assume they were unsure about how long Austin could go out there and if that’s the case it’s more than understandable. Austin would again forfeit the title a month later because he wanted to go after the world title, which he would of course win at Wrestlemania.

Attitude. It’s here.

We recap Bret vs. Shawn. This is Bret’s chance to get his win back from Shawn at Wrestlemania 12. Bret was bitter at Shawn after a massive heel turn, so there’s some great hatred going on here. I’ll get to the big story of it and my thoughts at the end. Ironically enough Shawn cost Undertaker the title, giving it to Bret, at Summerslam.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn is European Champion coming into this for no particular reason other than he wanted Bulldog to not have the title anymore. Shawn wipes himself with the Canadian flag during his entrance to further make himself public enemy #1. We get the long tracking shot for Bret’s entrance which is always cool for some reason. Shawn jumps Bret to start but Bret snaps on him and beats Shawn right back down to the delight of the crowd.

A HARD clothesline puts Shawn on the floor and Bret is going off. I don’t think the bell rang yet. Bret takes it to the crowd and Shawn is reeling. Vince, Slaughter and a half dozen referees are at ringside now. JR talks about how this could be Bret’s last match if he loses. Shawn gets an American flag bandana and chokes him into the crowd. Remember the match hasn’t started yet. Bret backdrops Shawn over the barricade and back to ringside.

Shawn keeps trying to piledrive Bret on the concrete but Hart keeps escaping. They head back into the crowd with Bret in total control. They go to the entrance and Bret decks a referee. Back into the ring they go and the bell FINALLY rings as Bret chokes Shawn with a Fleur de Lis. Shawn comes back with the forearm and nipup as the fans chant that Shawn is gay.

Michaels chokes with the flag as Bret has a busted hand. Shawn stalls a lot because that’s the kind of guy he is. Back to the floor with Shawn pounding on Bret and spitting on the crowd. Shawn drops Bret face first on the steps and breaks a Canadian flag over his knee. Back in and Shawn hits a top rope ax handle and it’s off to a front facelock. Bret escapes in what has to be the loudest reaction to a broken front facelock of all time.

Shawn comes back and slams Bret down but Bret rolls through a cross body off the top for two. Bret puts on the Hartbreaker, the figure four around the post. Bret goes after the knee in almost perfect Ric Flair fashion, down to the cannonballs down to the knee and a Figure Four. Shawn finally turns it over and Bret gets a rope. A Russian legsweep gets two for Bret as does a snap suplex. Bret goes up but Shawn pulls the referee into the way so the shot hits Hebner instead. Shawn rakes Bret’s eyes, puts Bret in the Sharpshooter, and Hebner calls for the bell to give Shawn the title in the most infamous moment ever in wrestling.

Rating: B-. I’m only talking about the match here. The main thing to keep in mind about the famous ending is that there was about twenty minutes of brawling and of the actual match before the finish. I think that’s something people forget because of the famous part. The match we got was quite good, which isn’t really surprising given how familiar these two were with each other. It’s no masterpiece, but it felt like an epic encounter, which is what it needed to do.

Now we’ll get to the big white elephant in Montreal. I’ve not going to pretend like I have some big insight into what happened because I certainly don’t. Books have been written about what happened here and there’s no point in rehashing the whole thing all over again. In short, it was Bret’s last match, he didn’t want to lose the title in Canada, a screwy finish was agreed on, Vince changed the ending and screwed over Bret, Bret wasn’t seen in WWE for almost thirteen years.

After all the years since then, I think both parties were wrong, but Bret needed to get over himself. So what if he had to lose the title in Canada? I get that he couldn’t stand Shawn, but for someone who seems to pride himself on being oh so professional, it’s pretty lame to say he doesn’t want to lose the title in another country when he made it clear he was leaving.

Vince was in major trouble at this point and was under a lot of pressure. While I don’t think he believed Bret would trash the title on Raw, he had to be worried about something happening, like the title having no value if Bret never lost it, which is understandable. Did he go about the issue the right way? No, but it wasn’t a normal circumstance. Vince did what he thought was best and while it caused a ton of controversy, it was one of the few things he could do. There are a to of different ways you can look at it, and there isn’t a single right answer.

Overall Rating: D+. Main event aside, this was a pretty bad show overall. The first forty minutes are AWFUL, the next match is just ok, Kane vs. Mankind is decent, the next match is about building for the future, the match after that was basically a squash, and the main event was good but not great. When the best you can do is good but not great, you’ve got a problem. They’re pretty lucky that only the main event is remembered here, because the rest of the show sucked.

Ratings Comparison

Team New Age Outlaws vs. Team Headbangers

Original: D+

Redo: F-

Truth Commission vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

Original: F

Redo: F

Team Canada vs. Team USA

Original: B+

Redo: C-

Kane vs. Mankind

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Team Legion of Doom vs. Nation of Domination

Original: B

Redo: C

Steve Austin vs. Owen Hart

Original: C

Redo: D+

Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: D+

Now there’s a major change, likely the biggest so far.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/06/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1997-what-a-screwy-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Superstars – August 17, 1996: Prelude To A Slam (Includes Full Show)

We’re one day before Summerslam and that means this is going to be the big push towards the show. That could go in a variety of ways, though I’m not sure how much I’d expect from what was definitively the B show at this point. It’s not a great time for the company either, but there is some talent worth seeing. Let’s get to it.

Superstars
Date: August 17, 1996
Location: Yakima Sun Dome, Yakima, Washington
Attendance: 2,922
Commentators: Jim Ross, Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect

The opening recap looks at Ahmed Johnson needing surgery and having to vacate the Intercontinental Title.

Opening sequence, which is a country style theme (and sounds like it’s being sung by Michael Hayes).

Commentary runs down the card.

Undertaker vs. Who

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker (in what would be the last time for the original team, at least when it comes to a traditional entrance). Who jumps him to start and hammers away in the corner, earning himself a jumping clothesline. The Tombstone finishes fast at 1:08.

Ahmed Johnson, in a snazzy red robe, talks about how the mental pain is worse than the physical pain.

We look at Johnson’s recent success and how everything has stopped, with the Intercontinental Title being vacated. A tournament is starting next week on Raw, but it isn’t clear if or when Johnson will return to the ring. There will also be a mini battle royal for his previously won WWF Title shot.

It’s off to Slam Jam, with the big final push of Summerslam.

Jerry Lawler is ready to make Jake Roberts see a lot of doubles, just like when he’s drunk!

Roberts is ready to get revenge on Lawler.

Savio Vega/Freddie Joe Floyd vs. Uncle Zebekiah/Justin Hawk Bradshaw

This is fallout from Zebekiah and Bradshaw branding Vega. Zebekiah bails to the floor so Vega hammers on Bradshaw, with Floyd coming in for a double dropkick. Floyd kicks Bradshaw in the case for a quick two as the rapid tags continue. Bradshaw finally manages to kick Floyd out to the floor as commentary talks about the Summerslam Tag Team Title match. Zebekiah gets in a clothesline on the floor and it’s a double team in the corner to keep Floyd in trouble as we take a break.

We come back with Vega having to save Floyd but that’s not enough for the actual tag. Bradshaw grabs a Russian legsweep for two but a jumping back elbow gets Floyd out of trouble. Vega comes in to clean house, with a spinning kick to the face getting two on Zebekiah as everything breaks down. Zebekiah misses a branding iron shot to Vega and gets rolled up for the fast pin at 9:37.

Rating: C+. This is what you would get on Superstars around this point, as it was more about giving something to the lower level stars. Vega vs. Bradshaw might not be a top level feud but it is at least a story and something that got a few weeks to build. Floyd might not be a top level star, but he’s more than good in the ring. Zebekiah is fine as a second for Bradshaw, as long as you understand that he’s so banged up from a harsh career that he can’t do much in the ring.

Post match the brawl stays on with Floyd getting double teamed until Vega makes the save with the branding iron.

Video on Shawn Michaels vs. Vader, with Vader pinning Michaels at In Your House: International Incident. Michaels knows that he is in danger and wants the Kliq to support him more than ever.

Crush vs. Aldo Montoya

Clarence Mason is here with Crush. Montoya gets knocked down to start and the neck crank is already on. Crush thumbs him in the neck and the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker cuts off Montoya’s comeback attempt. The big clothesline sends Montoya outside and Crush powers him inside without much trouble. A shoulder breaker into the full nelson finishes for Crush at 3:11.

Rating: C. Crush is someone who got chance after chance and while it could have been worse, he never became the star that the company seemed to want him to be. Granted putting him in there with Mason wasn’t the best way to go, as Mason wasn’t going to make Crush feel important. For now though, not a terrible start for Crush’s singles run, but I’m not getting my hopes up.

Video on Undertaker vs. Mankind.

Mankind vs. Billy Two Eagles

Mankind hammers him down into the corner to start and shrugs off a boot to the face. A swinging neckbreaker (with Mankind pulling the hair of course), setting up the Mandible Claw for the fast win at 1:48.

Another Slam Jam looks at the Tag Team Title match, with the Smoking Gunns/Sunny thinking that the company is against them. The Bodydonnas just want the titles back.

The Stalker talks about wanting to hunt various people. The introduction called him Barry Windham, so why not just let him be that?

Sunny teases various limited material swimsuits for the Summerslam pre-show.

Steve Austin vs. Marc Mero

Sable is here with Mero, who knocks him into the corner to start. They go outside, where Austin yells a lot and kicks him in the ribs to take over. Back in and Mero takes him down into an armbar as Marlena and Goldust joins commentary. Goldust talks about being a zookeeper at Summerslam as Austin makes the comeback and knees Mero in the head. We take a break and come back with Austin holding a chinlock. Mero fights up and snaps off a headscissors as Mankind comes out to tell Sable (“Mommy”) that he’s been a naughty boy. Mero goes after him for the save and that’s a DQ at 9:43.

Rating: C+. The match was pretty good, which shouldn’t be a surprise given who was involved, but dang there was too much going on with the whole thing. The ending was a bit of a cheap way to prevent both of them from losing, but at least the match wasn’t boring. Just slow down a bit next time.

Post match the brawl is on until Undertaker comes out for the save, with Sable running away in terror to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Well, the show was designed to make me more interested in seeing Summerslam and that went well enough. At the same time, Summerslam 1996 is only so interesting of a show in the first place. It’s an absolute two match show and pretty much nothing more, with what we got on here not exactly being enough to carry it that much higher. The action here was fine, but it was very clear that Raw was the thing and had been for a very long time.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – January 8, 1996: The Ringmaster Era Has Begun

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 8, 1996
Location: Bob Carpenter Center, Newark, Delaware
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re getting closer to the Royal Rumble and that means we’ll be seeing some more names added to the card. In addition, since it’s the holiday season and the company didn’t want to tape too much, we’re getting another match from the most recent In Your House, which is certainly a way to fill in time. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a preview of the show, promising more from Billionaire Ted. Of course.

Opening sequence.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Hakushi

Jarrett teases playing the guitar and singing for us but opts to just not instead. An early slam lets Jarrett strut but Hakushi sweeps the leg. A top rope shoulder drops Jarrett again and we pause for him to tease walking out. Back in and Jarrett hits the running crotch attack in the ropes and we take a break.

We come back with Hakushi fighting out of an abdominal stretch and hitting a jumping spin kick. Jarrett knocks him back down for two more and we hit the chinlock. Hakushi fights out but his springboard splash hits knees, allowing Jarrett to get the Figure Four for the win at 9:19.

Rating: C. I always feel bad when I see Hakushi falling further and further down the ladder. He really was a different kind of star and could have been a bigger deal if he was given the chance. It doesn’t help when he lost to the perfectly capable but terribly uninteresting Jarrett. While Jarrett is far from bad, it’s not exactly easy to get behind him in any meaningful way. That was the case again here, as this was just a step above a squash.

We go to Slam Jam, which serves as the Royal Rumble control center. We look at various Rumble entrants, including a video on Vader Finally, “Scheme Gene” makes a cameo which, believe it or not, isn’t funny.

Ahmed Johnson vs. Jeff Brettler

Johnson throws him around to start and hits a kick to the head. A spinebuster and the Pearl River Plunge finish at 1:51.

Post match Jeff Jarrett tries to sneak in with a guitar shot but hits the buckle instead. Johnson scares him off and breaks the guitar.

Next week: Undertaker vs. Isaac Yankem.

And now, the Brother Love Show, because that was brought back in 1996. The guest is Ted DiBiase, who is unveiling his new Million Dollar Champion: THE RINGMASTER! DiBiase presents him with his title, with the Ringmaster sticking his hand out to the screen so fans can reach out and touch greatness. He’s already in the Royal Rumble so he can go on to Wrestlemania and win the WWF Title, but it doesn’t compare to the Million Dollar Title. And that’s Steve Austin’s WWF debut.

Earl Hebner defends not stopping Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog due to Hart’s blood loss. Geez the jokes write themselves.

Goldust vs. Aldo Montoya

Goldust takes his time getting rid of his wig and then takes out Montoya for daring to start fast. The slow beating is on, including a running kick to Montoya’s chest. Montoya fights up and hits a clothesline, only to walk into the Curtain Call for the fast pin at 2:10.

It’s another Slam Jam, this time looking at Shawn Michaels’ press conference from earlier today. He is officially in the Royal Rumble and he’s going on to Wrestlemania to win the WWF Title. Scheme Gene pops in to say he has a hot name for the Royal Rumble but call his hotline to find out who it is. IN CASE YOU DIDN’T GET THE JOKE!

Various wrestlers give their thoughts on Shawn Michaels coming back.

From In Your House V: Seasons Beatings.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog

Hart is defending and Jim Cornette is here with Bulldog. Feeling out process to start with Bulldog showing off the power, leaving Hart to go after his arm. Back up and a knee to the ribs cuts Hart down for two and we’re already in the chinlock. That’s broken up so Cornette gets in a cheap shot with the racket, meaning the chinlock can go on again. The hard whip into the corner gives Bulldog two and yep, it’s time for another chinlock.

Hart finally fights out and hits a monkey flip, followed by a bulldog to Bulldog. A quick piledriver gives Hart two and the middle rope elbow connects as we take a break. We come back with Hart getting crotched on the top and knocked outside, with Bulldog driving him hard into the post. Hart is busted open BAD and there is a bunch of blood on the floor. Bulldog gets two off his own piledriver and the not so delayed suplex is good for the same.

A top rope headbutt to the back gives Bulldog two more and he grabs a bow and arrow. Hart’s quick counter into the Sharpshooter is broken up and Bulldog shoulders him hard out to the floor. Back in and Hart slips out of a suplex to grab a German suplex for two and they’re both down. Hart manages to send him outside for a slingshot dive but another is countered into the running powerslam on the floor.

We take another break and come back again with Hart crotching him on the barricade and hitting a clothesline. The backbreaker gives Hart two and he whips Bulldog hard into the corner for a change. A top rope superplex gets a delayed two and a rollup, ala Summerslam 1992, is reversed to give Hart two more. With nothing else working, Hart grabs la majistral to retain at 21:09.

Rating: B+. As usual, these two have some great chemistry together. It felt like Hart was having to struggle to survive against an aggressive power guy and that is where Hart tends to thrive. Bulldog could work well with almost anyone and tended to do best against someone Hart (or Shawn Michaels) sized, so the formula was firmly in play here. Great match and worth a look if you have time.

Undertaker is ready to take the title from Bret Hart at the Royal Rumble.

A woman has won the Royal Rumble sweepstakes.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

We wrap it up with Billionaire Ted’s Wrasslin War Room, with the board trying to come up with a better slogan. The Huckster and Nacho Man are happier about avoiding steroid tests. Young Vince Russo can be seen as one of the people around the table.

Overall Rating: B-. I’m not sure what it means when the best match is from a pay per view, but I’ll take that over the usual mess that we got around this time. Other than that, it was a bunch of short, uninteresting matches and an all time important debut, even if there was no way of knowing that at the time. Shawn Michaels really needs to get back already, as they’re only going to be able to use matches from pay per views for so long.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – March 25, 1996: All for One

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 25, 1996
Location: Freeman Coliseum, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 9,364
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last Raw before Wrestlemania and the big question is what kind of jokes can the WWF make about Ted Turner. That’s been the last big thing we’ve seen over the last few weeks at the end of the show so we must need to see it again here. Hopefully they have time to talk about Wrestlemania a bit here too. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Shawn Michaels vs. Leif Cassidy

Marty Jannetty is here with Cassidy so Michaels debuts his official manager: Jose Lothario. After some generic comments from Lothario about how Michaels is going to Wrestlemania and an enthusiastic handshake from Cassidy, Bret Hart comes out for commentary. Michaels takes over on the arm to start before a running crossbody gets two. Back up and Cassidy grabs a sitout spinebuster for two before grabbing a surfboard.

We take a break and come back with Cassidy grabbing a chinlock but getting reversed into an exchange of rollups. Cassidy superplexes him for two but Michaels is back with a top rope clothesline. Jannetty trips him down though, with Hart getting up for the save. The superkick finishes for Michaels at 11:18.

Rating: B-. Cassidy was a good choice to put in this spot as he could wrestle a nice technical match against just about anyone and you know Michaels can work well in that spot. The Jannetty connection at ringside was a nice choice and they even teased a bit of drama with Hart. The main event of Wrestlemania is carrying the show and that’s going to need to be the case given the rest of the card.

Post match Michaels thinks Hart tripped him but Lothario calms things down. Hart says he’s ready to give Michaels a beating like he’s never received at Wrestlemania.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Aldo Montoya

Montoya starts fast and slams Helmsley, who gets his knees up to block a splash. Back up and Helmsley hits a jumping knee into the curtsy. The knee drop gives Helmsley two and a clothesline gets three more near falls. Montoya fights back and hits a dropkick, followed by a high crossbody for two. The Pedigree gives Helmsley the fast pin at 4:43.

Rating: C. Not much here as Helmsley isn’t going to have trouble against someone like Montoya. At the end of the day, Helmsley is ready for a high profile match at Wrestlemania and Montoya is Montoya. That doesn’t leave much room here and the match was about what you would have expected.

We see Goldust in a Hollywood back lot, where he gets rather close to a Roddy Piper mannequin, which he then destroys.

Next week: Mankind.

Here are Undertaker and Paul Bearer for a chat. Bearer recaps the feud with Diesel, including Diesel attacking Bearer two weeks ago. This led to Diesel seeing himself in a casket in quite the creepy moment. Undertaker says Diesel caused this to happen and promises to make him rest in peace at Wrestlemania.

We get one more Shawn Michaels training video.

Video on Hart vs. Michaels, with Hart talking about his plans to capitalize on Michaels’ mistakes.

Owen Hart vs. Ahmed Johnson

Jim Cornette is here with Hart as Vince goes on some rant about how the WWF makes sure that you get your money’s worth around here. Johnson powers him down to start and then does it again as the British Bulldog comes out to watch. Hart tries to pick up the pace but charges into a bearhug. Bulldog offers a distraction though and Johnson gets knocked to the floor as we take a break. We come back with Bulldog loading up the Pearl River Plunge but Bulldog comes in for the DQ at 5:34. Not enough shown to rate but it was just a way to get to the post match brawl.

Post match the beatdown is on, with Vader, Jake Roberts and Yokozuna coming in for the big brawl.

We wrap it up with a big music video on Bret Hart, either inspired by or set to You Start The Fire by Billy Joel (not the biggest music fan so that’s likely wrong).

Overall Rating: C+. The opener was the best part here but what matters the most is that we’re finally to Wrestlemania. That’s a show that has been needing to happen already, as the Hart vs. Michaels match is taking up so much TV time. It makes sense as it’s such a big chunk of the card, but dang that makes for some rough TV. They did well enough here, but it’s hard to find a more one match Wrestlemania card.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – March 11, 1996: You’re Hot And You’re Cold

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 11, 1996
Location: Freeman Coliseum, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 9,364
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re less than three weeks away from Wrestlemania and this time around we’re in Shawn Michaels’ hometown. That sounds like it has quite a few makings for some Michaels excellence, though the rest of Wrestlemania could use some attention of its own. It’s not going so well thus far, but with a one hour match on the card, there is only room for so much else. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening preview.

Opening sequence.

Savio Vega vs. Steve Austin

Austin, with Ted DiBiase, is now officially STONE COLD. Has a nice ring to it no? I’m not sure on the white boots though. Austin shoulders him down to start and grabs a headlock but Vega is right back with a crossbody. Back up and Vega misses a kick to the head, allowing Austin to hit an ax bomber of all things.

Some choking on the ropes and a suplex give Austin two and he fires off shoulders in the corner. As the beating ensues, we see a former Olympian named Mark Henry sitting in the front row. We take a break and come back with Austin dropping a leg to the back of the head for two. Vega is right back with a hiptoss into the running spinwheel kick in the corner. They brawl out to the floor and it’s a double countout at 9:51.

Rating: B-. These guys always worked well together and it was good to see Austin getting the chance to be out there with someone so talented. Vega really was an underrated in-ring star and Austin has praised his work over the years. At the same time, it’s cool to see Austin starting to develop into the superstar he would become, as it’s quite the game changing effort.

Post match the brawl stays on, with Vega clearing the ring to set up their rematch at Wrestlemania.

We see a clip from during the break of Mark Henry muscling Lawler around.

Here are Goldust and Marlena, plus Roddy Piper, for a chat. Piper calls him a transvestite and mocks Goldust’s “movie” from last week. He accuses Goldust of just trying to get attention. Piper beat up Adrian Adonis with a baseball bat and declares himself a lesbian. Goldust’s attempts at playing the bagpipes doesn’t bother him but turning the Intercontinental Title into a joke bothers him. Not even Freddy Kruger comes into Piper’s nightmares but Goldust says he wants a piece of Piper and drops to his knees.

Goldust invites him to his back lot as he slowly crawls around Piper. He lifts up the kilt and asks for a sneak preview, which is too far for Piper. Goldust licks his (own) lips and slaps Piper, who slaps him back. The challenge is accepted, with Piper promising to make a man out of him. To call this not good would be an understatement, but there is only so much that they could do with Piper being brought in as a last second replacement for the suspended Razor Ramon.

Godwinns vs. Jerry Meade/Alex Porteau

Henry clothesline Meade down to start and it’s off to Phineas, who fights out of the corner. House is quickly cleaned and Henry gives Porteau the Slop Drop for the pin at 1:52.

Shawn Michaels was in his hometown of San Antonio earlier with Jose Lothario and we look at their training regimen.

Meanwhile, Bret Hart is training in Calgary, meaning a lot of cardio and working with Stu Hart. Bret agrees that Michaels is good, but he isn’t the best.

Video on the Ultimate Warrior.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Vin Grier

Helmsley, who is facing the Warrior at Wrestlemania, starts fast with a suplex. The quick beating doesn’t take long as Helmsley finishes with the Pedigree at 1:52.

Scheme Gene previews the Huckster vs. the Nacho Man, which involves the Huckster being old and the Nacho Man having a bald spot. At least this was a bit better than mocking Ted Turner to no end.

Yokozuna/Undertaker vs. Owen Hart/British Bulldog

During Undertaker’s entrance, Diesel doesn’t seem to be impressed. Undertaker and Yokozuna tease a brawl before the bell but wind up taking out the other two instead. Yokozuna drops the big leg on Bulldog and Undertaker takes Hart outside as Diesel comes in for a cheap shot on Paul Bearer. That’s enough for Undertaker to give chase and we take a break. We come back with Hart dropping an elbow for two on Yokozuna, who fights up anyway. Cue Vader to jump Yokozuna for the DQ at 5:20.

Rating: C. This wasn’t much of a match and was more about advancing/likely setting up stuff for Wrestlemania. That’s a good enough way to wrap up the show as Wrestlemania needs some more build outside of the main event. Undertaker vs. Diesel is the second biggest match on the card and Diesel going after Bearer is as good of a way to go as any.

Post match Ahmed Johnson and Jake Roberts run in for the save and brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This show was about building towards Wrestlemania and that’s a good sign with just a few weeks to go before the pay per view. A bunch of the matches were advanced in the span of an hour, with the big angle at the end likely setting up a six man tag. Good, efficient show here and that’s what Wrestlemania needed.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – June 24, 1996: Kloudy With A Chance Of Stars

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 24, 1996
Location: Brown County Expo, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Attendance: 4,660
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with the King Of The Ring and that means King Austin, who gave what would wind up being one of the most important promos in wrestling history. Other than that, Shawn Michaels has vanquished the British Bulldog and needs someone else to come after him for the WWF Title. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Ahmed Johnson vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Johnson’s newly won Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line. Johnson works on the arm to start and shoulders Helmsley down. A headlock grinds Helmsley down and a clothesline drops him even harder. Helmsley avoids a charge though and Johnson is sent outside, where he gets sent into the steps. Johnson gets posted and then ax handled in the back as we go split screen to Goldust and Marlena. Goldust is mad about losing his title and he’s ready to bury Undertaker in his own casket. Helmsley’s chinlock goes on and we take a break.

We come back with Johnson fighting out of the corner but missing a charge into a different corner. Johnson pulls him out of the air for an atomic drop, setting up the gorilla press for two. Helmsley backdrops his way out of a Pearl River Plunge attempt and they both get a breather. Back up and Helmsley tries a backdrop, which is reversed into a Pearl River Plunge to retain the title at 13:04.

Rating: C. Johnson was someone who was at his best when he was able to go out there and showcase his incredible athleticism and that wasn’t really the case here. At the same time, it was all about Johnson getting over as a force as the new champion and this worked well enough, though having it be a non-title match doesn’t make a ton of sense.

Post match Johnson says he is proud to be the first African American Intercontinental Champion (geez that took awhile) and is ready to beat up Goldust again.

Bodydonnas vs. Brooklyn Brawler/Jerry Fox

The Bodydonnas debut Kloudy, their new manager, who is rather large and tattooed. Sunny, on commentary, is not pleased in the slightest. Zip hiptosses and slams the Brawler to start but Brawler is back up with a headlock. Skip comes in for a running neckbreaker to Fox, who gets taken into the wrong corner. Zip’s gutwrench powerbomb gets two and a top rope seated senton finishes at 3:53.

Rating: C. Good enough here, as the idea behind Kloudy is pretty clear right from the start. Unfortunately the other thing that is obvious is how one note that the whole thing is and I can’t imagine it going well. The team was only so good in the first place and having Kloudy going after Sunny (I’m sure you get the HILARIOUS play on words) is only going to get them so far.

Post match Kloudy chases Sunny off.

We look at the history of Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty.

Kloudy chases Lawler off too.

Vader/Owen Hart/Davey Boy Smith vs. Aldo Montoya/Savio Vega/Barry Horowitz

Jim Cornette and Diana Smith are here with the villains. Horowitz hiptosses Hart to start and it’s quickly off to Vega vs. Bulldog. Vega takes him over with an armdrag but Vader comes in to hammer away. A nice spinning kick to the face drops Vader and it’s off to Montoya for some dropkicks. Hart kicks him in the head though and Vader comes back in for a chokeslam. The Sharpshooter makes Montoya tap at 4:20.

Rating: C+. Pretty much a squash here, with Vega’s kick to the face being a highlight for the losing side. I do often wonder how these people feel in kayfabe when they find out they’re teaming with Horowitz. Montoya isn’t great in the first place and Vega is just ok, so they’re already in trouble and then they have Horowitz as a partner. That can’t be the most encouraging feeling.

Here is Brian Pillman on crutches for a chat. Pillman talks to Vince, saying he doesn’t need to get in the ring to make an impact.

Undertaker vs. Steve Austin

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker and this is a big deal for the new King. Undertaker slugs away to start and of course that’s fine with Austin, who punches right back. Austin kicks him in the face but gets dropped as Lawler is going after Bearer, which can’t be a good idea. The fight heads outside, with Austin being sent into various steel objects.

They get back in and Austin is knocked to the floor again, only to get back inside for another shot to the face. Austin gets a whip into the corner but charges into a boot as we take a break. We come back with Undertaker hitting Old School but Austin gets smart by kicking at the leg. Austin wraps it around the post and the middle rope elbow gets two.

We go old school with a spinning toehold to keep Undertaker down as Goldust and Marlena come to ringside. Undertaker fights up but a chop block takes him right back down again as we take another break. We come back again with Undertaker missing a running clothesline but hitting a chokeslam. The Tombstone is loaded up but Goldust throws something in Undertaker’s eyes for the DQ at 15:34.

Rating: B-. This was a rare good match between the two of them, with Austin working on the leg, though much like the recent Undertaker vs. Bulldog match, it felt more like we were waiting around for the screwiness. That’s not the best feeling and while it’s nice to see Austin getting in the ring with a big name, having him beat a big name would have been better. Still though, I’ll take a nice match which gets some time.

Post match Austin beats on Undertaker, who reverses to knock Austin outside. Bearer loads up the urn but is hesitant to hand it to Undertaker. Lawler wants Bearer to explain why he cost Undertaker last night against Mankind (by hitting Undertaker with the urn), but Undertaker chases him off to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. With King Of The Ring out of the way, it’s time to reset things a bit with Austin and Johnson as some bigger names. That’s not a bad way to go, but seeing Undertaker vs. Goldust isn’t exactly inspiring. They’re still in the weak summer period, but at least they have something to build on after the pay per view. Just do something interesting and get Michaels a better challenger.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – June 3, 1996: They Need To Get Going

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 3, 1996
Location: Cumberland County Memorial Auditorium, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on King Of The Ring and there is a good chance that we’ll get some matches in the tournament either this week or sooner. Other than that, WWF Champion Shawn Michaels is still dealing with the British Bulldog, who Michaels couldn’t beat last month at In Your House. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Goldust giving Ahmed Johnson mouth to mouth resuscitation, which was received about as well as expected. Then Goldust posed wearing only his robe and the Intercontinental Title as he taunted Johnson.

Opening sequence.

King Of The Ring First Round: Steve Austin vs. Bob Holly

Austin backs him into the corner to start before grabbing a headlock. Holly’s hammerlock is broken up and Austin takes him down by the leg. Back up and Holly takes him into the corner to hammer away, earning himself a nasty backbreaker. A middle rope elbow gives Austin two and we’re off to the chinlock. We take a break and come back with Holly still in the chinlock but he fights up to send Austin into some buckles. That doesn’t get him anywhere though as Austin is right back with the Million Dollar Dream for the win to advance at 12:15.

Rating: C. Yeah this wasn’t much, but there was no reason to believe that Austin was going to lose to Holly. At the end of the day, Austin might not be the obvious next big thing here, but he’s certainly bigger than Holly at the moment. He’s going to need something besides the Million Dollar Dream though.

Jerry Lawler mocks Ultimate Warrior’s comic book and shows a (nice) drawing he’s made of his own comic book cover, featuring THE ULTIMATE LOSER.

Mankind vs. Barry Horowitz

Mankind goes right at him to start but gets caught with a quick dropkick. Mankind misses a charge into the corner though and gets rolled up, only to hammer Horowitz down. The running Tree of Woe elbow hits Horowitz and we go outside…to take a break? We come back with Mankind grabbing the Mandible Claw for the win at 6:54.

Rating: C-. Mankind vs. Barry Horowitz does not need a break, but for some reason the match got that much time. Mankind was still new at this point but he had hit the ground running, already tormenting the Undertaker. Taking this long to beat Horowitz didn’t help, but at least it was fairly dominant.

Post match Mankind talks about wanting to hurt the Undertaker. Of all the things he has lost, he thinks he misses his mind the most.

We look at Shawn Michaels vs. British Bulldog going to a double pin at Beware Of Dog.

We look at Ahmed Johnson losing his mind of having Goldust kiss him last week.

Goldust, still with just the belt covering him, says he was saving Johnson’s life last week. They’re fighting at King Of The Ring and Johnson will never forget Goldust’s name.

Godwinns vs. Tekno Team 2000

Sunny is on commentary and we get a promo from the* Bodydonnas, who are looking for a new manager. We even get an address for people to send in applications. Travis works on Henry’s head to start before it’s off to Phineas, who keeps looking at Sunny. We actually get a handshake between Phineas and Troy, with the latter pulling him into the corner to take over. Travis’ standing moonsault gets two but Phineas gets up and brings Henry back in. House is quickly cleaned and the Slop Drop finishes for Henry at 6:03.

Rating: D+. For the life of me I still don’t know what Tekno Team 2000 was supposed to be but they didn’t work. The Godwinns weren’t much better, as the tag division was moving in a different direction and they were still doing their goofy stuff. That being said, Sunny was the focal point here and that often works, as she had so much star power and you couldn’t avoid it.

We look at Clarence Mason claiming to have been injured by Gorilla Monsoon, which is total nonsense of course.

King Of The Ring First Round: Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Jake Roberts

Helmsley’s headlock takes Roberts down to start and we get a quick curtsy. Back up and Roberts hiptosses him into a knee lift, with Helmsley bailing out to the floor. Roberts is smart enough to wait inside, where he takes Helmsley down by the arm. The armbar goes on for a bit until a frustrated Helmsley rolls outside again.

We take a break and come back with Helmsley sending him into the corner. Helmsley drops a knee for two as commentary talks about Warrior’s comic book. More stomping sets up a chinlock but Roberts jawbreaks his way to freedom. The threat of a DDT is broken up with a ram into the corner and we take another break. We come back again with Roberts hitting the DDT for the pin at 16:15.

Rating: C+. It’s a bit weird to see Helmsley losing like this, but at the same time the DDT was up there as an all time devastating finisher. The fans reacted to it rather well and Roberts getting a Cinderella run in the tournament isn’t a bad idea. Other than that, the match was probably the best thing on the show, which is rather telling.

Overall Rating: C-. The tournament needs to get going, because there is not much going on with the show otherwise. Michaels vs. Bulldog isn’t interesting and without Undertaker here to brawl with him, Mankind is just sort of weird. That’s pretty much the show at this point, and this show didn’t make me want to see what they have going on at the moment.

 

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Monday Night Raw – December 30, 1996: The Golden Hour

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 30, 1996
Location: Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 6,855
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross

It’s the last show of the year and we are closing in on the Royal Rumble. In this case that means we have a live show to close out 1996, which should be a decent one. Shawn Michaels is still after the WWF Title and Sid, but he doesn’t think much of Bret Hart either. I’m sure nothing will come of that so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Michaels and Hart’s recent issues, including at It’s Time.

Hart wants to see Michaels face to face.

Michaels says Hart is out of excuses.

Opening sequence.

Faarooq/Steve Austin vs. Jesse Jammes/Savio Vega

Hold on though as Austin jumps Jammes in the aisle (apparently not a fan of his singing). Vega slugs away at Austin and is willing to go it alone but can only get so far. Faarooq plants him with a spinebuster but walks into the spinwheel kick as we see Hart watching in the back. Austin stomps away in the corner and hits a running clothesline for two. Vega fights up again and rolls over for the tag to Jammes, who has managed to get back to his feet (if that wasn’t clear).

Jammes gets knocked out to the floor and Austin beats him up even worse, apparently injuring him. Cue Hart in street clothes to take Jammes’ place (which apparently he can just do) as we take a break. We come back with Faarooq holding Vega in a chinlock as Jammes has been taken to the back. Austin comes in for his own chinlock and cuts off the comeback with a shot to the face.

Faarooq plants Vega for two more and then does his cannonballs down onto Vega’s back. Vega manages to reverse into an electric chair and Hart comes in to clean house. The Sharpshooter is loaded up on Faarooq but the Nation Of Domination comes in for the DQ at 13:30.

Rating: C. Well it was kind of a mess, but it felt like another case of “hey, you need to keep watching to see what is going on”. That’s a nice thing to see after so much dull stuff, though that doesn’t really mean this was good. Hart was only involved at the end and the DQ saved Faarooq, who needs something to do at the moment.

Post match the beatdown is on but Ahmed Johnson, in some very striped pants, makes the save.

Intercontinental Title: Flash Funk vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Funk, with the Funkettes, is challenging. We get a pre-match interview from Helmsley, who says Goldust doesn’t deserve to be in the same ring as him. He’ll be showing Marlena what a real man does. Speaking of Goldust and Marlena, here they are to watch in the crowd, just like last week. Helmsley jumps him to start but Funk takes him with a quick rollup.

A backdrop and right hand have Helmsley in more trouble but he ducks a spinning crossbody. Helmsley sends him outside as Goldust and Marlena don’t look impressed. Back in and Helmsley stomps away before grabbing the reverse chinlock. We take a break and come back with Funk hiptossing his way out of an abdominal stretch but getting suplexed down.

A middle rope fist drop gives Helmsley two and he knocks Funk outside again. Back in and Funk grabs a belly to back suplex so Jerry Lawler gets off commentary to mock Goldust. Funk connects with a moonsault for two so he goes to yell at Lawler. That’s enough for Helmsley to get in a belt shot for the win at 12:13.

Rating: C+. Another nice win for Helmsley here, as he’s getting protected more often than not. What matters the most is that he is getting a nice boost and becoming a bigger deal. There are wrestlers who want the title and that’s only going to make the championship feel that much more important. Keep doing that kind of thing and see where it goes.

Post match Funk beats Helmsley up and crushes him with a 450.

Here are Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels for a face to face chat. Jim Ross brings up that Hart is facing Vader next week, with Michaels saying that he’ll be on commentary. Michaels mocks the idea of getting the first question, saying “the almighty” Hart can go first. Hart says that attitude is what he finds disrespectful. When Jose Lothario cost Michaels the WWF Title, he apologized the next day. When Michaels cost Hart the title at It’s Time, there was no apology at all.

Hart brings up the Playgirl shoot and suggests it doesn’t have much of a female audience. So whose man is Michaels? That’s enough for Michaels to take off his jacket as Hart threatens to kick his “a**”. Cue Sid, who wants competition, so cue the Undertaker. Vader comes out to jump Undertaker from behind but it’s broken up, with Undertaker stalking Vader to the back. Sid and Michaels get into it as well and Pat Patterson, with that amazing sweater, tries to break it up.

Goldust vs. Jerry Lawler

Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Honky Tonk Man are on commentary. We’re joined in progress with Helmsley distracting Goldust so Lawler can get in a cheap shot from behind. Lawler chokes away on the ropes but Goldust fights up with a running clothesline. Helmsley gets up to kidnap Marlena but Marc Mero cuts them off. This leads to a big crash and the countout at 2:49.

Marlena is hurt to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Definitely a somewhat better show this week, with the focus being more on the titles. If the WWF and Intercontinental Titles are treated as a bigger deal, the whole show is going to feel more important. That’s what we need to be seeing here, especially with the Royal Rumble coming up so soon.

 

 

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