Summerslam 2013
Date: August 18, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,166
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is the show that was voted on for the annual redo and I can’t say I’m complaining. The show was instantly revered and it held up when I watched it the second time. We’ve got a double main event with Daniel Bryan challenging John Cena for the World Title and CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar in the Best vs. the Beast. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Rob Van Dam

Dean is defending and we still have the full Shield entrance (no Reigns/Rollins here) through the crowd, which is still just cool. A shoulder drops Rob to start and Dean grabs a hammerlock as it’s a slow pace early on. Rob clotheslines him into a headlock but charges into a boot to the face for two. A neckbreaker gives Dean the same and we hit the neck crank as we’re somehow four minutes into this.

Ambrose gets in a running dropkick and grabs a quickly broken chinlock. Rob kicks him down to set up the Five Star but Rollins and Reigns come through the crowd, rendering him completely incapable of jumping. Big Show and Mark Henry show up as well though, putting us all even as we as we take a break.

Back with Dean grabbing a chinlock and sending Rob outside. That means a staredown on the floor as Henry and Show earn those paychecks and DVD royalties. Rob drops Dean on the barricade and hits the spinning kick to the back. A rollup gives Rob two back inside but he walks into a good looking spinebuster for two. Dean misses a top rope elbow but Rob has to go after Rollins instead of Five Starring. Rolling Thunder crushes Dean and it’s Five Star time, only to have Reigns spear Rob down for the DQ at 13:38.

Rating: D+. This was a pretty sad way to start the show as you would expect a lot more from these two. Ambrose was a very natural arrogant heel but Rob was just going through the motions. It didn’t help that the big plot point, Show and Henry, did NOTHING here and Reigns interfered anyway. It’s never a good sign when you can completely take people out of a match and it changes nothing but that was the case here. Really disappointing outing.

And now on to the mai…..IT’S LESS THAN THREE HOURS!!! Oh sweet goodness happy days are here again!

Here’s the Miz, your host for the evening and still a face here, to open things up. He explains the two main events, just in case people stumbled in here expecting a free car wash. Fandango and Summer Rae (dang) cut him off and dance around him. Miz: “Really? Really?” Anyway, welcome to Summerslam.

The opening video talks about how the stars are out tonight and has a bit of a grainy look to it for a unique visual. As you might expect, the two main events receive most of the attention. Of note: the instrumental background music would become Akira Tozawa’s theme.

JoJo sings the National Anthem, which was a plot point on Total Divas because Total Divas is creatively bankrupt.

Kane vs. Bray Wyatt

This is a Ring of Fire match, meaning the ring is surrounded by fire like an inferno match but you win by regular means. It’s also Wyatt’s in-ring debut, which is kind of gobsmacking. Kane unloads on him in the corner to start as the arena is much darker than usual to show off the flames. A clothesline drops Wyatt and the flames go over the top rope.

Kane gets in a suplex for the same result as Luke Harper and Erick Rowan are panicking on the floor. The fact that they’re there more or less guarantees they find a way to interfere, thereby making the gimmick worthless. Wyatt hits a running splash in the corner and hammers away on the mat. A big boot to the…..arm maybe drops Wyatt and there’s the sidewalk slam for no cover.

Harper tries to grab a kendo stick but it gets caught on fire, sending an overzealous fireman to put it out. Rowan takes his extinguisher but can’t get rid of the flames. The chokeslam plants Wyatt for no cover as Kane would rather do it again, likely so Harper and Rowan can figure out a way inside. They find a fireproof….something and get inside for the big beatdown. Rowan splashes Kane and Sister Abigail gives Bray the pin at 7:48.

Rating: F+. This was WAY worse than I remember as it was literally just killing time until the ending. The ending was as telegraphed as it could have been and there was never any drama. Instead of actually having a match, this was a mental exercise for the Family and that’s REALLY not how you want to debut someone with the kind of potential Wyatt has.

Post match the Wyatts crush Kane with the steps and carry him off to film See No Evil 2.

The Kickoff Show panel wastes a minute of our time.

We see a Paul Heyman promo on the Kickoff Show, talking about how in reality, David would have thrown a stone at Goliath and then taken the beating of a lifetime. As a bonus, tonight’s match is No DQ.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

They used to be partners until Sandow won the Money in the Bank briefcase (it’s still the brown one which looks like a Hershey bar) in the surprise for the sake of swerving the fans who KNEW Cody was going to win (which he was). Before the match, Sandow says he was the leader of the Rhodes Scholars and tonight, he’s sending Cody back to the Rhodes Family so they can be dumb and dumber. Cole’s big plug for the entrances: watch the JBL and Cole Show to find out why Cody shaved his mustache!

They start fast with Sandow shoving him into the corner but getting backdropped. The gordbuster gives Cody two but a legsweep sends him outside. Back in and some knees to the back set up a bow and arrow hold. Sandow has to fight out of an early Cross Rhodes attempt and drops the Wind Up Elbow for two. I know Sandow has the charisma but dang it’s not working in the ring.

Sandow puts on a standing leglock for a few moment before switching to just rubbing Cody’s face in the mat. Cody catches him on the top though and it’s something like a Muscle Buster for two. A springboard missile dropkick gets two on Sandow but he comes right back with a running flip neckbreaker for the same. Cody nails the Disaster Kick for the near fall, followed by Cross Rhodes for the pin at 6:39.

Rating: C+. They were working hard out there and had a good match but it’s very clear that Sandow is in WAY over his head with the briefcase. I don’t think anyone really bought him as a main eventer at this point and his pretty worthless TNA run doesn’t exactly change the theory that it was the stunt double gimmick that was so good and not him.

Video on Christian, who is back for one more run at the World Title.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Christian is challenging. Del Rio has Lillian Garcia introduce him in Spanish, which isn’t quite a heel move in a major Hispanic market. Alberto grabs a headlock but gets slapped for his efforts, followed by the back of the neck snap across the top rope. That’s fine with him though as he puts Christian on the top for a heck of a running enziguri to put Christian in the Tree of Woe.

Del Rio starts in on the arm by sending it into the barricade and it’s off to an early armbar. A top rope double stomp to the shoulder makes it even worse, but not as bad as it would be with the top rope double stomp out of the Tree of Woe. The champ misses a charge though and crashes out to the floor to give Christian a breather. Back in and Del Rio dives into a raised boot, followed by a middle rope missile dropkick for no cover. The high crossbody gets two but Christian is holding the arm.

It’s too early for the Killswitch so Christian goes up, only to get pulled off the middle rope with a Backstabber in a cool spot. A middle rope backsplash doesn’t work for the champ but he’s still able to block the spear (which Christian should NEVER use) with a dropkick. Del Rio takes down his kneepad but gets rolled up for two more. Now the spear connects, only to have the shoulder give out. That means a cross armbreaker and Christian taps (rather surprising) at 12:30.

Rating: B. I had a lot more fun with this than I was expecting, which I think is what I said when I watched this the first time around too. Christian was a great choice for a challenger at this level as he’s going to have a good match no matter what. Unfortunately this was about it for him as he would only wrestle a few more matches in 2013, then come back for another short run to start the new year, ending with a concussion that caused his retirement. It’s a shame, but probably for the best as you don’t want to mess with that area.

Post match Del Rio says the Mexican people need an idol and his name is Alberto Del Rio.

Clips from Summerslam Axxess, which has never come close to matching the Wrestlemania version.

Miz (oh yeah he’s here) talks to Maria Menunos, who won in a tag match at Axxess. Fandango and Summer Rae dance in again but this time Miz and Maria show them up with some dancing of their own. Did you know Maria Menunos of some entertainment show is here? If you don’t, you will when this is all over that show.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

No story of note here, but Cole introduces the two of them as “some of the stars of Total Divas”. Just in case you thought Summerslam was the point here. Naturally more cast members are at ringside and sweet goodness I forgot how annoying this era was for the women. Feeling out process to start as Natalya tries to do any kind of wrestling with Brie. They finally go with the slapping until Natalya sends her outside for a baseball slide. The JBL and MICHAEL COLE chants start up and there’s the JERRY chant to complete the trio.

Brie grabs a chinlock and the fans want tables. A jawbreaker gets Natalya out of trouble and she grabs the Sharpshooter until Brie slips out and sends her hard into the corner. We get the required catfight on the floor and it’s time for a Zack Ryder chant. The yet to be named BRIE MODE knee seems to wake Natalya up as it’s the Sharpshooter to make Brie tap at 5:18.

Rating: D-. The match could have been so much worse but the story, or lack thereof, had this thing doomed from the start. This was back at the start of the Total Divas era and fans hadn’t gotten sick of the show yet. They don’t get along on Total Divas for whatever nonsense reason the writers have come up with so here’s a short match between them. Not horrible but sweet goodness could we please get the tiniest bit of effort?

Earlier today, Ryback poured soup on a catering worker.

We recap CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar and I begin to smile. This is mainly about Punk vs. Paul Heyman, who had been Punk’s supporter for years. Then Punk started to change his attitude and told Heyman that he wanted to do this by himself. That wasn’t cool with Heyman, who cost him the Money in the Bank ladder match. Punk went after Heyman so Brock Lesnar returned to be Heyman’s muscle. The match was set with the great tagline “The Best vs. The Beast.” Do you need much more than that?

CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar

No DQ. I know I say this a lot but Brock Lesnar coming down the aisle is one of the scariest sights in wrestling. Punk charges right at him and gets driven into the corner for some shoulders. A hard whip sends Punk into a different corner as the fans are trying to stay behind him. Punk’s strikes have almost no effect (Punk not being able to strike with an MMA guy? I’m sure that won’t be an even bigger joke three years later.) and Brock easily stomps him down in the corner.

Punk gets in a kick to the jaw and a pair of running knees knock Lesnar outside for a suicide dive. That’s exactly the kind of hope spot that the fans needed to get back into this but Lesnar cuts them off by slamming the steps, which are in Punk’s hands, straight into Punk’s face. Punk posts him though and scores with the clothesline off the barricade, only to make the mistake of going after Heyman.

One heck of a toss sends Punk over the announcers’ table as there’s not much of a way around that kind of power. That’s not good enough though as Brock throws him over the other table, just so it won’t feel left out. Lesnar jumps into a stomp onto a piece of the table onto Punk before sending him flying off a belly to belly (leaving a big sweat stain on the floor).

Back in and Lesnar fires off more shoulders to the ribs and we hit the bearhug. An elbow to the nose staggers Brock for a bit but he knees Punk hard in the ribs to put him down again. It’s back to the bearhug as they’re doing a good job with cutting off the hope spots. Punk kicks away but dives right into a fall away slam to cut him off again. A chinlock lasts for a little while until Punk fights up and bites the ear to escape.

Punk FINALLY drops him with a series of kicks and the running knee in the corner makes it even worse. Lesnar catches a running knee but Punk escapes and high kicks him down, setting up the Macho Elbow (looked awful, almost more like a sideways splash) for a pretty hot two. Neither finisher can connect so Punk kicks him in the head again and Brock goes down from a single shot. You don’t see that every day.

The GTS is countered into the Kimura but that’s reversed into a cross armbreaker and then a triangle choke. A powerbomb doesn’t break the hold so Brock lifts him up again, shrugs off the elbows to the head and PLANTS Punk with a running powerbomb. The fans are INSANE for Punk but Brock cuts them off with the most vicious Three Amigos you’ll ever see. Brock very slowly heads outside to grab a chair so Punk dives onto him, only to land on the chair, which lands on Lesnar to put both of them down.

It’s Punk up first with the chair though and he wears Brock out….until Lesnar just takes it away from him. That’s fine with Punk as a low blow gets him out of trouble (Punk: “WHERE’S YOUR CUP NOW UFC BOY???”) and freaks Heyman out all over again. Punk takes the chair up top and drops something like a Macho Elbow for two more. A few more chair shots have Lesnar in trouble until Heyman takes it away.

Punk grabs Heyman’s tie to block the F5 (smart) and it’s the GTS but Heyman makes the save for the false finish of the year. Reality sets in on Heyman (as only it can) and he realizes there’s no Brock to save him. Punk gives chase but runs into the F5, which he counters into a tornado DDT for two more. The Anaconda Vice goes on but Punk lets it go to cut Heyman off. A big right hand drops Paul, only to have Lesnar BLAST Punk with the chair. The F5 onto the chair finally ends Punk at 25:18.

Rating: A+. I gave this Match of the Year and I’m certainly not changing that now. This was a total war with Punk shocking the heck out of me by taking Lesnar to the limit. If nothing else, this is the textbook example of how to book Lesnar vs. a smaller guy. You even have Punk saving some face by having Heyman interfere so often. It’s an outstanding match and easily holds up four years later.

As I mentioned a few times, Punk was giving the fans just enough hope spots to keep things going. No one was going to buy Punk hanging in a fist fight with him (nor should they have bought it with HHH but that’s a long issue for another time) but they could buy him getting in a few shots here and there and giving it all he had. That’s wrestling storytelling in a nutshell and it was as entertaining as it could have been. If not for Punk vs. Cena in 2011, this would be Punk’s WWE masterpiece.

Punk pulls himself up and gets the hero’s ovation. It’s a shame that he would be gone in four months.

A fan agreed to trade tickets to a house show for three tickets to Summerslam and Summerslam Axxess if he took a splash from Mark Henry. Oh and he gets to sit ringside (meaning in front of the announcers’ tables for the next match). Well gee I wonder if that’s a hard decision.

Big E. Langston/AJ Lee vs. Dolph Ziggler/Kaitlyn

Former partners/couple who split up and absolutely no one is interested here. The guys start things off and it’s an early belly to belly to drop Ziggler. We hit an early abdominal stretch with a stomach claw thrown in as a bonus. Ziggler comes back with a dropkick and the too early to be a hot tag brings in the women. AJ spin kicks Kaitlyn down for two and it’s off to a cravate.

Back to back neckbreakers give AJ….an opportunity to dance around the ring, allowing Kaitlyn to kick her away. The hot tag brings in Dolph for another dropkick and his jumping elbows. Big E. is right back up with a powerbomb backbreaker for two with Kaitlyn making a save. A charge hits post though and Kaitlyn spears AJ in half on the floor. The Big Ending is countered and the Zig Zag gives Dolph the pin at 6:42.

Rating: D+. They didn’t have time to do much here and were in the death spot, which doesn’t work very well when they’re doing a TV match. It’s not terrible or anything and Kaitlyn spearing AJ is always entertaining. They were still getting ready to launch the Women’s Revolution down in NXT so this was about as good as you were going to get from the women at this point. Big E. vs. Ziggler kept going for a good while but never went anywhere, which is why New Day was the best thing that could have happened to Langston.

Fandango interrupts Miz again and finally gets punched out.

The Kickoff Show panel goes over their main event picks and talk about some of the show.

We recap John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan. Daniel had been on the roll of a lifetime and Cena was allowed to pick his challenger for Summerslam. Cena selected Daniel Bryan but Vince McMahon was suddenly against Bryan as the top star. It was clearly Bryan vs. the establishment and as a bonus, HHH will be guest referee for the title match. I’m sure nothing will come of it.

Bryan vs. Cena was built up as a big fight as well with Bryan calling Cena a phony who wasn’t here for the wrestling. Cena said he’s had his share of great matches but he’s had them while holding the WWE World Title. Bryan is the best competition around but the best isn’t going to be good enough.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is challenging, Cena has a baseball sized amount of fluid in his elbow which is going to force him to leave almost immediately after this show, and HHH is guest referee. Cena headlocks him to the mat to start but Bryan armdrags him off. The test of strength drives Bryan down again but Cena can’t break his bridge in an impressive (and surprising) power display. The threat of a YES Lock sends Cena bailing out to the floor and we take a breather.

Back in and Bryan easily takes him down for a surfboard, only to have Cena kick him away without much effort. Cena kicks him into the steps and suplexes him off the steps for good measure. If quiets the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants for a few seconds but they’re quickly replaced by the YOU STILL SUCK chants. At least they’re consistent in their hatred. Back in and Cena powers him away again before countering a hurricanrana attempt with a sitout powerbomb.

We hit the chinlock for a bit until Cena powers up and fires off some kicks in the corner. Cena fights up again and tries the finishing sequence, only to have the Shuffle broken up with a kick to the face. The second attempt works a bit better though and is good for two but Bryan kicks him in the eye again. Cena is starting to sport a black eye but Bryan wisely starts going after the arm. A quick STF attempt is countered into an STF from Bryan but Cena makes the ropes.

The AA is countered straight into the YES Lock and Cena is in trouble. He powers out again so Bryan slaps on a guillotine as Cena just can’t shake him off for good. The hold is finally broken and Bryan is a bit surprised, allowing Cena to grab a quick AA for two. Cena heads up but Bryan is right there again with a superplex. Bryan hangs on and pulls himself back up for the Swan Dive and a very near fall.

The suicide dive is blocked with a hard forearm and now the top rope Fameasser is good for two. With a one and one record up top, Cena tries it again, this time loading Bryan up for a super AA. Bryan tries a super hurricanrana to counter but Cena counters into what looked like an attempt at a Styles Clash, only to drop Bryan SQUARE ON HIS HEAD with a scary sounding thud.

The STF goes on but breaks down a bit with Cena winding up on his side, allowing Bryan to flip over into the YES Lock. Cena makes the rope again so Bryan goes back to the strikes with the running corner dropkicks. That’s fine with Cena, who turns Bryan inside out with the hard clothesline. NOW the fans are into both guys and there’s no reason for them to not be.

They slug it out until a double clothesline puts both guys down for another breather. Cena slaps Bryan hard in the face so Bryan does the same right back but Cena powers him up for the AA. That’s countered into a hard DDT though and Cena is in trouble again. One heck of a kick to the head drops Cena and Bryan debuts the running knee for the pin and the title in a shocking finish at 26:55.

Rating: A+. Yeah this worked too. The fact that Bryan pinned him clean was the completely correct call as the win is what matters, not the title itself. Bryan looks like the biggest star in the world now and this is confirmation that WWE sees him as a top name. The fact that it was an outstanding match helps things even better, but that ending is still perfect. Bryan beat Cena down and then hit a finisher to pin him. What else could he possibly ask for? Well, save for what came at Wrestlemania of course but sweet goodness this was outstanding stuff.

Cena stares Bryan down but shakes his hand. Pyro and confetti go off….and here’s Mr. Money in the Bank Randy Orton. Randy holds up the case at ringside so Bryan says bring it. Orton turns around and walks away, leaving HHH (who called the match right down the line and was a complete non-factor) to turn on Bryan and lay him out with the Pedigree.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Faster than I can type Orton is challenging (ok not really), he wins the title at 8 seconds.

The crowd is eerily quiet as HHH hands Orton the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. Everything that needed to be great was WAY beyond great and everything else was as forgettable (and thankfully short) as it needed to be. The whole thing that matters here are two matches combining for over fifty minutes (remember that it’s less than three hours long) and they’re both instant Match of the Year candidates. This show is an absolute classic and well worth checking out for the last great pre-Network shows.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: B-

2014 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: D+

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

Original: D+

2014 Redo: D

2017 Redo: F+

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: C

2014 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C+

Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Original: B+

2014 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

Original: F

2014 Redo: D-

2017 Redo: D-

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

Original: A+

2014 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

Big E. Langston/AJ Lee vs. Dolph Ziggler/AJ Lee

Original: C-

2014 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: D+

Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Original: A+

2014 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: N/A

2014 Redo: N/A

2017 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: A-

2014 Redo: A

2017 Redo: A-

What is up with that opener? I really liked it that much earlier on?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/18/summerslam-2013-a-star-is-born/

And the 2014 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/08/16/summerslam-count-up-2013-2014-redo-what-a-difference-a-year-makes/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 2013
Date: August 18, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

This show was almost universally the Show of the Year for 2013 and I’ve been really interested in seeing how it holds up. There’s a double main event with Cena vs. Bryan for the World Title and Lesnar vs. Punk in Punk’s attempt to get revenge on Lesnar’s manager Paul Heyman for screwing him over back in July. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Dean Ambrose

Dean is making a rare defense here after Rob won a battle royal or something. Feeling out process to start with Dean saying bring it on. They trade hammerlocks until Rob nails a running shoulder and a kick to the jaw. Rob hammers away in the corner but runs into a boot to give Dean control. A neckbreaker gives Ambrose a two count and the fans are split on who they like best.

Dean hits the dropkick against the ropes and puts on a chinlock. Thankfully it doesn’t last long though and Rob comes back with a quick moonsault, only to walk into a clothesline for two. The bulldog driver is broken up by some more kicks to the face but Rollins and Reigns come out to break up the Five Star. This brings out Mark Henry and Big Show to even things up as we take a break.

Back with Dean dropping an elbow for two and putting on a cross face chicken wing of all things. Rob is sent outside and the four seconds have a standoff. Dean goes out to get Rob and winds up getting caught by the spinning kick to the back for two. A spinning legdrop gets the same for Van Dam but he walks into a spinebuster. Dean misses a middle rope elbow but a Shield distraction lets him get two off a rollup. Rolling Thunder sets up the Five Star but Reigns spears Van Dam for the DQ.

Rating: B-. Good match here but the ending didn’t work. What was the point of having Big Show and Henry out there if they’re just going to have Reigns come in with no resistance for a DQ? It really is amazing how far Van Dam has fallen in the last year as I wouldn’t expect him to have this kind of a match today if his life depended on it.

Miz, the host of the show, welcomes us to the evening and runs down the big matches. He would be kind of perfect for this role today too. Fandango and Summer Rae cut him off….and that’s it.

The opening video focuses o how awesome Los Angeles is as well as the double main events. The overblown voiceover really works.

Jojo from Total Divas sings the National Anthem.

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

This is a Ring of Fire match, meaning an Inferno match but you win by pin or submission. It’s also Bray’s in ring debut. Kane hammers away in the corner to start and we get the old school idea of the flames going up whenever anyone hits the mat. Harper and Rowan keep getting closer to the ring but have to back away from the flames. Bray comes back with headbutts but can’t get Kane up for a suplex.

Kane gets sent into the corner for a running splash followed by the cross body to put him down. A bunch of right hands have Kane in more trouble but he comes back with a running clothesline in the corner. There’s the side slam to send the flames up even more, preventing the Family from sending Bray a kendo stick. Rowan tries a fire extinguisher but the flames don’t go out. Kane hits a pair of chokeslams and calls for a tombstone, only to have Rowan and Harper cover the flames and come to beat Kane down. The yet to be named Sister Abigail gives Bray the pin at 7:45.

Rating: D. This wasn’t so much bad as much as it was really stupid. Bray looks like a joke in his first match (though he would have FAR better performances in the future) and the flames are more of an annoyance than the focus of the match. The Family coming in didn’t work and makes the whole thing look ridiculous.

Post match Bray sits in his chair while the Family crushes Kane’s head with the steps. They carry Kane away which never went anywhere.

The expert panel (Booker T., Shawn Michaels and Vickie Guerrero) chat about what we just saw and make some main event predictions.

Earlier tonight Paul Heyman compared Punk vs. Lesnar to David vs. Goliath. He sees the battles ending a bit differently. Tonight’s match is now no DQ.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Sandow screwed over his friend Cody to become Mr. Money in the Bank and Rhodes is ticked off. On the way to the ring, Damien talks about famous teams and says there has always been a leader and a sidekick. Cody has recently shaved off his mustache and Cole tells us we can find out why he has done so on Friday on Youtube. Seriously.

Sandow charges at him to start and hammers away in the corner but Cody comes back with a backdrop to take over. The release gordbuster gets two for Cody but Damien hammers away on him in the corner and cranks on the arms. The Wind-Up Elbow gets two and we hit an old school Edgecator (kneeling Sharpshooter) to Cody.

That goes nowhere either as Rhodes fights up and hits a MuscleBuster of all things for two. A springboard missile dropkick sets up the Disaster Kick but Sandow comes back with a swinging neckbreaker. Cody nails a second attempt at the Disaster Kick for two but Cody misses a charge into the post. Again it doesn’t seem to matter as Cross Rhodes gets the pin on Sandow at 6:40.

Rating: D+. This could have been on any given Smackdown and really doesn’t mean anything. The idea was for Cody to eventually take the briefcase from Sandow but they dropped the whole idea and hooked Cody up with Goldust, which wound up being better for everyone involved. It didn’t last long but at least it was an idea. Sandow has fallen through the floor in a year and Cody is a completely different character.

Video on Christian’s career.

World Heavyweight Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Another match where both guys have completely changed course in a year. Christian is challenging after winning a triple threat a few weeks back. We’re ready to go after some big match intros and some gawking at Lillian in a gray dress. They lock up and head into the corner to start with the champion grabbing a headlock. Del Rio gets him to chase him around the ring but gets his throat snapped across the top rope.

Alberto breaks up a top rope hurricanrana and ties Christian in the Tree of Woe for some stomping. Back to the floor with Christian being sent into the barricade to start the arm work. A release flapjack and a kick to the head allows Del Rio to wrap the arm around the ropes. Christian sends him back outside and hits a big plancha to take the champion down, followed by a missile dropkick back inside.

The Canadian hammers away in the corner, ducks the running enziguri, and gets two off a top rope cross body. The Killswitch is countered into a Backstabber for two as Alberto is starting to get frustrated. There’s a jumping back elbow to the jaw from Christian but Del Rio counters a sunset flip out of the corner with a right hand.

Instead a top rope hurricanrana gets two for Christian and Del Rio is in trouble. It’s not enough trouble for him to get speared though as Del Rio dropkicks him in the face for a sweet counter. The low superkick gets two more for Alberto. He tries it again but gets rolled up for two. Christian finally hits the spear but injures his bad shoulder, setting up the cross armbreaker to retain Del Rio’s title at 12:28.

Rating: B. Good match here with both guys going back and forth until the logical and thought out ending. I love it when you have an old injury coming back from earlier in the match to tie into the ending, even though it’s not something you see often enough. It’s also nice to see a high level guy tapping out to a heel submission, which you see even less often.

Del Rio says he’s the Latino representative.

WWE loves the National Guard.

Video on Axxess from earlier today. Maria Menunos had a match and talks to Miz about how awesome that was. Fandango and Summer Rae interrupt with some more dancing, triggering a dance from Maria and Miz.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

This is the Total Divas match. You can add Natalya to the list of people who have fallen through the floor in a year. She has the Funkadactyls with her while Brie has Nikki and Eva Marie. I’m not sure who has the better backup here. Feeling out process to start with both girls doing their best choreographed spots. Brie slaps her in the face but has to head to the ropes to avoid a Sharpshooter attempt.

Natalya is sent to the floor and caught with a baseball slide to the back as a JBL chant starts up. Now it’s a Michael Cole chant, followed by the required Jerry version. Brie drops a leg and cranks on a chinlock as the fans want tables. Natalya fights up and puts on a quick Sharpshooter but Brie sends her into the corner. The other Divas get into it on the floor and we hit another chinlock from Brie. Back up and a sunset flip is countered into a Sharpshooter to make Brie tap at 4:19.

Rating: D-. Well that happened. It doesn’t hold up, the fans don’t care, and the whole thing is a waste of time. The girls didn’t even look all that great here as most of their outfits looked like they belonged in the 1950s. The fact that Total Divas didn’t get the Divas Title off of AJ continues to astound me.

Ryback harassed a catering guy earlier in the day.

We recap Lesnar vs. Punk. The idea is simple: both guys are Paul Heyman Guys, but then Punk started listening to the fans and asked Heyman to stop coming out for his matches. Heyman turned on him and cost Punk Money in the Bank, so Punk swore revenge. Brock Lesnar returned and laid out Punk, with Heyman eventually revealing that he asked Brock to come back and destroy Punk, despite swearing he didn’t.

Punk is out for revenge but has to go through Lesnar to get there. The title for the match was perfect: The Best vs. The Beast. I love the story behind this: yeah it’s about revenge, but it won’t be settled in a debate or by lawyers or something stupid like that. Instead, it’s going to be scheduled in a professional wrestling match, like every feud should be.

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

No DQ. Punk charges right at him but gets driven into the corner. Forearms to Brock’s head have no effect and he drives shoulders into the ribs. Punk tries some knees to the ribs but Brock literally tosses him across the ring. Brock stomps him down in the corner but Punk comes back with a hard knee to the jaw and a second one to send him out to the floor. A big suicide dive has the Beast down and Heyman is starting to freak out.

Punk gets some steps but Brock just rams them back into his face to take over again. He throws Punk onto his should but gets posted instead, allowing Punk to dive off the apron to drop Brock again. A clothesline off the announcers’ table nails Lesnar but Punk makes the mistake of going after Heyman, allowing Brock to blindside him. Brock picks him up again and LAUNCHES him over the announcers’ table. Then he throws him over the other table and stomps on the top of the table on top of Punk.

Back in and Punk goes after the legs but Brock just levels him with a clothesline. We hit the bearhug until Punk scores with forearms, only to take a hard knee to the ribs. It’s almost total dominace by Brock so far. Back to the bearhug but Punk elbows out of it again. Some kicks to the chest have Brock in trouble but he counters a high cross body into a fall away slam.

We hit the chinlock but Punk bites his ear to escape. More kicks have Brock in trouble and a top rope knee sends him sprawling across the ring. There’s a pair of running knees in the corner but Brock counters the third one into the F5. Punk escapes again and nails a high kick followed by the Macho Elbow (more like a splash) for a VERY close two. The fans are totally into this.

The GTS is countered into another F5 attempt but Punk escapes and nails another high kick. He tries the GTS again but gets caught in the Kimura. Somehow he counters that into a cross armbreaker but Brock rolls over into a choke. Punk counters THAT into a triangle choke, only to have Brock lift him for a powerbomb. That doesn’t break the hold either and it’s back to the triangle, but Brock lifts him into another powerbomb, this time with a running start. AMAZING sequence there and the fans give it the THIS IS AWESOME chant that it deserves.

Brock busts out Three Amigos of all things for two. Punk is half dead in the ring so Brock heads outside and gets a chair. He takes too long though and Punk dives onto the chair, driving it into Lesnar in a huge crash. Now it’s Punk wearing out Brock with the chair as they head back inside. Brock takes the chair away, only to get hit low before he can destroy Punk. Punk nails the Cactus Jack chair drop from the top for two as Heyman is pacing back and forth.

Punk just starts beating Brock with the chair but Heyman gets on the apron for a distraction. Lesnar lifts him for the F5 but Punk grabs Heyman for the block. He slips off Lesnar’s back and hits the GTS for a white hot near fall with Heyman making the save. After a quick chase, Punk charges into the F5 but counters AGAIN into a DDT for another two.

There’s the Anaconda Vice and Lesnar is in trouble, drawing Heyman in with the chair….but Punk gets up and steps on it. There’s a right hand for Heyman and a Vice of his own, but Punk is wide open for a chair shot from Lesnar. A bunch more chair shots sets up an F5 on the chair to give Brock the pin on Punk’s dead body at 29:07.

Rating: A+. I said this was Match of the Year last year and a second viewing affirms that view. This was AMAZING with some great David vs. Goliath stuff, a white hot counter sequence, and then two guys just beating the tar out of each other for ten minutes to end the match. Heyman making the save made sense, but it makes Punk look like the superhero that everyone thought he was. Totally awesome match here and Lesnar looks like the monster that he’s supposed to.

Oh and one more thing: SCREW YOU HHH FOR WASTING BROCK FOR A YEAR FOR YOUR STUPID EGO. Seriously, a year of this lost for that “trilogy” nonsense with HHH winning the big match on the biggest stage before letting Brock get his win back in a totally forgotten cage match. Lucky us.

Punk gets the well deserved standing ovation.

A fan gets splashed by Mark Henry for Summerslam tickets. He gets to sit in front of the announcers’ table for the next match.

Dolph Ziggler/Kaitlyn vs. Big E. Langston/AJ Lee

Two feuds combined into one. The guys start with Ziggler nailing a fast dropkick for two on Big E. Langston comes right back with a belly to belly suplex and a spinning Warrior Splash for two of his own before we hit the abdominal stretch. Dolph quickly escapes and scores with another dropkick before it’s off to the girls. Kaitlyn throws her around but gets caught by a big kick to the face.

A back elbow gets two for Lee and she hooks a sleeper. AJ shouts a lot but gets caught with a shoulder block. Back to the guys and there are the ten elbow drops from Dolph. The Fameasser misses and Big E. hooks a tilt-a-while backbreaker for two. AJ takes out Kaitlyn with a Shining Wizard but Big E. hits the post. Kaitlyn spears AJ in half (I miss her selling the heck out of that move) as Big E. gets back up and runs over Dolph. The Big Ending doesn’t work though and the Zig Zag gives Dolph the pin at 5:46.

Rating: D+. I feel sorry for this match as it was a glorified TV match that had to go after a thirty minute masterpiece. These four feuded for a long time and it was getting boring by this time. AJ would hold the Divas Title for a ridiculous eight more months and Kaitlyn doesn’t even have a job anymore. Again, it’s amazing how much a year has changed.

Miz gets cut off by Fandango and Summer again, finally causing Miz to knock him out.

The expert panel makes their World Title match picks.

We recap Cena vs. Bryan. The idea here is simple: Bryan had been on a roll and Cena was allowed to pick his opponent for Summerslam. He summed it up in four words: “I select Daniel Bryan.” This was the start of Bryan being a B+ player as authority (not The Authority) figures started saying Bryan was just too small to be World Champion. HHH and Vince tried to turn him corporate but Bryan couldn’t bring himself to do it because it wasn’t who he was. The only person that seems to be supporting him is HHH, who is guest referee tonight.

At the same time they actually made it somewhat personal between Cena and Bryan as Daniel called Cena out for being a parody of a wrestler. Cena got very serious and said that he was a wrestler even if he wore bright t-shirts. He chose Bryan because he’s the best competition in the company right now and has earned the spot. Cena also has fluid the size of a baseball in his elbow at the moment and is going to be taking time off after the match.

WWE Title: Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Cena is defending and HHH is guest referee. Daniel wisely goes after the bad arm to start but gets taken down with a headlock. Back up and Cena isn’t sure what to make of Bryan and his technical abilities. John easily wins a test of strength but Bryan bridges off the mat. Cena jumps down on him but can’t break the bridge in a nice display of strength by the bearded one. A YES Lock attempt sends Cena out to the floor for a breather.

Back in and Cena uses the bad arm for a headlock before they hit the mat for the old Flair bridge up into a backslide from Bryan for two. It’s Bryan in control now but Cena blocks the surfboard with pure power. Daniel is sent to the apron and knocked into the announcers’ table with a hard shoulder. Cena is wrestling as the heel here by default as the power guy.

Bryan pops up and whips Cena into the steps but Cena sends him in as well. Fans to Cena: “YOU STILL SUCK!” Back in and Cena hammers away to get the upper hand but lets Bryan get up. A sitout powerbomb gets two for the champion and we hit the chinlock. Bryan is quickly back up with right hands as Jerry reminds us that HHH is guest referee. He hasn’t meant anything yet.

Bryan backflips over Cena out of the corner and nails the running clothesline. Here come the YES Kicks but the big one misses, allowing Cena to initiate his finishing sequence. The Shuffle gets two and Bryan nails the big kick to the head for the same. Bryan finally starts going after the arm by snapping it over his own shoulder and firing off kicks to the elbow. Cena tries a quick STF but Bryan mule kicks his way out. Now it’s Bryan putting Cena in the STF but he can’t crank on it as well.

Cena powers up but gets caught in Rolling Germans. Cena powers out of the third suplex and tries the AA, only to be reversed into the YES Lock. Bryan can’t quite get it on and Cena gets his head out of the grip to escape. That’s fine with Daniel who slaps on the guillotine choke. Again I had to hear Cole say HHH’s name to remember that he was the referee. Cena powers up again and drives Bryan into the buckle a few times before finally grabbing a rope for the break.

An AA connects out of nowhere for two and Cena is getting frustrated. He goes up top but Bryan breaks up the top rope Fameasser. A running dropkick has Cena reeling and Bryan superplexes him down, only to hook his feet on the ropes to stay up top. That’s kind of brilliant actually. The Swan Dive connects for two and Cena rolls outside. The FLYING GOAT is countered by a forearm to the face and the top rope Fameasser gets John another two count.

Cena goes up again but gets caught, only to try to slam Daniel down. Instead we get a TERRIFYING semi-botch as Cena almost piledrives him off the top. Thankfully Bryan’s neck is in one piece (for now) as Cena puts him in the STF. He pulls back too far though and Bryan slips out to apply the YES Lock. Cena is right next to the ropes for the break though and both guys are exhausted.

It’s Bryan up first with the running dropkicks but he tries one too many, allowing Cena to take his head off with a running clothesline. They slug it out again until both guys try flying shoulders and knock each other out again. Back up and they slap it out as the fans are even more into it now. Cena catches him charging and plants Bryan with a spinebuster. Allegedly Bryan countered with a DDT but it didn’t come off that well on camera.

It’s Daniel to his feet first and going up top, only to have Cena counter his high cross body into an AA. Daniel counters that into the small package for two, followed by a BIG kick to the head. He doesn’t cover, but instead debuts the running knee to the chest for the 100% clean pin over Cena (I believe the first since Rock at Wrestlemania) for the pin and the title at 31:07.

Rating: A+. Yep this worked too. This is a totally different style of main event match and it more than holds up a year later. There was a solid story in there of Bryan being as technical as he could be and Cena just muscling his way through it, only to have Bryan knee his head off for the pin. Excellent match, but somehow it’s the second best of the night and of the year.

Post match Cena is upset but hands Bryan the title and raises his hand with no violence.

Bryan celebrates for about three minutes….and here’s Mr. Money in the Bank Randy Orton. Bryan is ready for him, but not ready for HHH to spin him around for a Pedigree.

WWE Title: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Orton is champion in 8 seconds.

The new heel forces pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. This won Show of the Year and it’s easy to see why. The two main events are more than enough to make this awesome but you also have good stuff like Del Rio vs. Christian. Nothing was truly horrible here (the Divas match was just over four minutes so how much can it really hurt?) and two instant classics make this more than great and one of the best shows WWE ever put on.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. Dean Ambrose

Original:

Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

Original: D+

Redo: D

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: C

Redo: D+

Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Original: B+

Redo: B

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

Original: F

Redo: D-

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Big E. Langston/AJ Lee vs. Kaitlyn/Dolph Ziggler

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Overall Rating:

Original: A-

Redo: A

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/18/summerslam-2013-a-star-is-born/

Summerslam 2013
Date: August 18, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re finally at Summerslam and the show looks great. It’s a two match show but those two matches have the potential to be masterpieces. Tonight’s main events are John Cena defending the Raw Title against Daniel Bryan and the Best vs. the Beast in CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar. The rest of the card is hit or miss but Bray Wyatt vs. Kane in a Ring of Fire match has potential. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Rob Van Dam

Dean is defending and Rob won the title shot in a battle royal on Raw. Feeling out process to start with Dean running Rob down. Ambrose does the finger point while shouting US Champion in a cute bit before taking Rob down with a hammerlock. Back up and Rob hits a quick spin kick to put Dean down and there’s the real finger point. Ambrose comes back with chops and punches in the corner as the slow start continues. Dean cranks on the neck and the fans are split down the middle.

A running dropkick against the ropes gets two on Van Dam and it’s off to the chinlock. They get back up and Dean avoids a charge in the corner but Rob comes back with a spinning cross body out of the corner for two. A kick look to set up the Five Star but here are Rollins and Reigns for a distraction but not a DQ. This brings out Big Show and Henry for backup as we take a break.

Back with Ambrose still in control with shots to the chest and a cross face chicken wing. An ECW chant starts up as Ambrose transitions into a sleeper. Rob is sent to the floor but the giants block Shield from interfering. Dean goes out to stare as well but gets kicked down by Van Dam, allowing Rob to put him on the barricade for the spin kick from the apron.

Back in and Rob hits a top rope front flip attack for a close two. Reigns trips Rob to break up Rolling Thunder but Rob still gets two off a cradle. A spinebuster gets two for Dean but a top rope backsplash misses. Rob loads up the Five Star but has to jump at Rollins instead. Dean get a very close two off a rollup but Rob comes back with a kick to the face. Now Rolling Thunder connects and there’s the Five Star but Reigns comes in for the DQ at 14:08. So what did Show and Henry do here exactly?

Rating: B-. This was getting very good until the ending. Again what was the point in Henry and Big Show being out there if they were just going to stand around and do nothing? Dean got to hang in there against Rob but it doesn’t look as good without the win. Good opener though and the fans were WAY into it.

The opening video focuses on the main events and not much more.

JoJo from Total Divas sings the national anthem. She’s not bad.

Kane vs. Bray Wyatt

Wyatt and his Family debuted a few weeks ago and attacked Kane. Tonight the ring is surrounded by fire to prevent interference but you win by pin/submission. This is Bray’s in ring debut. Kane pounds him into the corner to start and clotheslines him down, sending the flames shooting into the air. The Family tries to get closer to the ring and there goes the fire again. Nice touch. Bray charges right at Kane and pounds away but can’t hit a suplex.

Kane suplexes him down instead, sending the fire up again. Bray avoids the low dropkick but misses a charge, sending himself into the ropes and near the flames. Wyatt crushes him in the corner with a splash and mostly misses a cross body. They’re lucky that the flames are covering up a lot of these misses. Bray slugs his way out of a chokeslam but Kane “hits” a big boot. Are the flames really messing them up that badly? That’s like three moves that have mostly missed. Kane side slams him down for no cover but Bray gets in a shot to take Kane down.

Wyatt asks for a weapon but as Harper loads up a kendo stick the flames go up, catching the stick on fire. Firemen put it out so Rowan steals the extinguisher, but it has no effect. There’s the chokeslam to Wyatt but Kane hits a second one for revenge. He calls for the tombstone but the Family puts a blanket over the flames, allowing the monsters to come in and beat Kane down. There’s no DQ though so this is all legal. Kane is destroyed and Sister Abigail is good for the pin at 7:49.

Rating: D+. This was disappointing. The visuals were cool but just putting a blanket over the flames was a pretty lame way to have the monsters get inside. I was expecting something a bit more supernatural instead of fire safety tips with the Wyatt Family. Also what was up with those botches?

Post match Bray sits in his chair with his hat on as the Family lays Kane’s head on the steps. They crush his head with the top part as Bray lights the lantern to a HUGE pop. The Wyatts take Kane with them.

The expert panel of Booker T, Shawn Michaels and Vickie Guerrero talk about the match a bit.

We get part of a Heyman promo from the pre show as the fire stuff is removed. Punk vs. Lesnar is now No DQ.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

They used to be partners but Sandow cheated Cody out of the MITB case last month, causing Cody to throw the case in the Gulf of Mexico. Sandow talks about great literary pairs throughout history and says there was always a leader and a follower. Cody was the sidekick of the Rhodes Scholars and tonight he’s being sent back to the carnival his family came from. Cody has shaved his mustache and you can find out why on Friday on the Youtube channel. SERIOUSLY? They think people are going to check that out?

They start fast with Cody in control until Sandow takes him out to the floor. Cody is rammed back first into the apron and Sandow fires off forearms to the spine. A quick suplex gets two and it’s off to a knee in Cody’s back. Cross Rhodes is quickly countered but the legsweep and Wind-Up elbow get two for Sandow. Damien busts out Edge’s old Edgecator submission (it’s like a Sharpshooter but Damien leans forward on the legs instead of turning over and pulling) but it’s quickly broken up.

Back up and Cody catches him on the top rope in a Muscle Buster of all things for two. Damien backdrops him to the apron but Cody comes back in with a nice springboard missile dropkick. The Disaster Kick misses and Sandow hits his flip neckbreaker for two. Cody falls down on Sandow’s sunset flip for two before hitting the Disaster Kick for another near fall. Damien avoids a charge into the post for two more but Cody grabs Cross Rhodes out of nowhere for the pin at 6:37.

Rating: C. This was better than I was expecting and I like that they’re pushing Cody stronger. He had so much potential when he was Intercontinental Champion but it just fell apart since them. At the same time though, Sandow continues his downward spiral into nothingness, meaning he’ll be world champion in a few months more than likely. Maybe we’ll get a rematch for the case next month.

Video recap of Christian’s career which is pretty cool stuff.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Christian won a three way to get the shot and has pinned Del Rio twice in the last few weeks. Alberto makes Lillian do his intro in Spanish in a nice touch. Christian quickly sends Del Rio out to the floor but misses a baseball slide. Back in and Del Rio escapes a top rope rana attempt and hits an enziguri to send Christian into the Tree of Woe. Alberto fires off kicks to the chest and a running one somewhere near the shoulder.

Del Rio sends the shoulder into the barricade, meaning he has his psychology boots on tonight. Alberto sends Christian crashing down to the mat and hits a dropkick to the shoulder. King: “That’ll shake your maracas.” A top rope stomp to the shoulder gets two but Christian avoids a running crotch attack in the ropes to send the champion to the floor. Christian hits a BIG dive off the top to take Del Rio down again and Christian pounds away back inside.

Del Rio misses a top rope enziguri and takes a high cross body for two. Alberto begs for a breather but suckers Christian in for a headbutt to the ribs. Christian flips out of a belly to back but can’t hit the Killswitch. The sunset flip out of the corner is countered into the Backstabber (the knees clearly slid off to the side and never hit the back) for two. A rollup gets two for Christian but he gets caught by the corner enziguri for another near fall. This is MUCH better than I was expecting coming in.

The sunset flip out of the corner is blocked by Alberto but Christian hits a running enziguri of his own. A top rope hurricanrana gets a VERY close two for the challenger as the fans are way into these near falls. The spear is countered by a fast dropkick for two for the champion and the low superkick gets the same. Del Rio lowers his knee pad but another shot to the head is countered into a rollup for two. There’s the spear but Christian’s arm gives out (THANK YOU! Edge did the same spot in 2001 but pinned Lance Storm like it was nothing). Del Rio grabs the armbreaker out of nowhere and Christian TAPS at 12:34.

Rating: B+. I REALLY liked this match but the 50/50 booking is so stupid. Christian beat Del Rio twice clean in a few weeks but now Del Rio gets a win so we’re supposed to be impressed? It doesn’t work that way no matter what WWE thinks. Enough of the bad stuff though as this was a great match with both guys looking awesome out there. The crowd was totally into it and the ending was a surprise. Really good stuff here.

Post match Del Rio says he represents the Latinos and that he’s the world champion. This was a tease of a cash in but nothing happened.

Axxess stuff, including Maria Menunos in a Divas tag match.

Miz (the host of this show, in his first appearance here tonight an hour in) is in the back with Menunos. Not much is said until Fandango and Summer Rae pop in. A dance off begins and that’s about it.

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

This is the Total Divas match with Nikki, Eva Marie and the Funkadactyls in the corner. Feeling out process until we get to the catfight stuff, culminating in Brie having to bail from a Sharpshooter attempt. Eva and Nikki pull the ring skirt down to send Natalya to the floor, allowing Brie to take over. The fans chant for JBL and then Lawler as they completely turn on the match. Brie cranks on Nattie’s arm as the fans want tables.

After a faceplant it’s right back to the hold as this match is dragging three minutes in. Natalya makes a quick comeback and puts on the Sharpshooter but Brie kicks away and no sells the pain. The girls get in a brawl on the floor and we’re in the third use of the SAME hold. Someone get Fit Finlay back in this company immediately. The fans are chanting for Ryder as Natayla hits an Alabama Slam and the Sharpshooter gets the tap out from Brie at 5:20.

Rating: F. This was HORRIBLE with both girls looking bad. The Divas are horrid right now other than AJ and occasionally Layla but these reality “stars” are getting TV time because people like to see them argue and be insecure. Natalya is good in the ring but she can’t work a miracle with a model out there. Horrid match and they need to win the crowd back immediately.

Ryback torments a guy at catering over a bowl of soup. I’m sure the leather vest isn’t inspired by Bully Ray whatsoever. “Feed me moron.”

We recap Punk vs. Lesnar which is really about Punk vs. Heyman. Punk turned face around Payback and asked Heyman not to accompany him to ringside anymore. Soon after that Lesnar returned and attacked Punk. Heyman swore that he had nothing to do with it but he turned on Punk at MITB, costing Punk the briefcase. Punk swore revenge on both of them, starting with Lesnar tonight. This is a money feud for multiple reasons, but the biggest being that’s based on HATRED. Punk is furious at Heyman and wants his revenge. His method of getting it? In a professional wrestling match of course. So simple yet so effective.

CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar

The tagline for this match is perfect: the Best vs. the Beast. It’s also No DQ. I always forget how scary of a man Brock Lesnar is until he comes to the ring. Lesnar immediately drives him into the corner and no sells forearms to the head. Brock LAUNCHES him into the other corner and stomps Punk down before no selling knees to the ribs. Punk is thrown around again and rammed into another corner with raw power.

Lesnar brags a bit too much and Punk gets in a kick to the head and a pair of knees to the face to send Brock to the floor. The suicide dive takes Lesnar down and the fans go NUTS. Punk loads up the steps but Brock rams into them to knock Punk down. Brock fires off knees to the ribs but Punk posts him for a breather. A top rope dive puts Brock down again as Punk is giving this all he has. Punk dives off the announce table with a clothesline and Brock is in trouble.

CM makes the mistake of going after Heyman though and Brock gets in a shot to take over. Brock tosses Punk over the announce table in an amazing throw for an even better crash. Since he threw Punk over the table once, Lesnar has to throw him over the other side for good measure. An over head belly to belly sends Punk down onto the concrete and Punk is barely moving. Back in and Brock drives Punk into the corner with shoulders and puts on a bearhug.

Punk gets in some forearms to escape but a knee to the ribs puts him right back down. Back to the bearhug and we get a shot of the evil look on Heyman’s face. Punk comes back again with shots to the head but his high cross body is caught in a fallaway slam. A backbreaker sets up a suplex for three straight near falls. Off to a chinlock but Punk BITES THE EAR to get some separation. More shots to the head stagger Brock and a top rope knee to the chest knocks him into the corner.

Two more running knees to the corner have Brock reeling but Brock catches the third in a fireman’s carry. Punk drops behind Lesnar and hits a high kick, setting up the Macho Elbow (didn’t look good) for two. The GTS and F5 are countered into another high kick but the GTS is countered into the kimura. Punk spins out and hooks a cross armbreaker (GIMMICK INFRINGEMENT) and then a triangle choke of all things.

Brock raises his hand but powerbombs Punk down….but the hold isn’t broken! The hand is still in the air but Brock lifts Punk into the air. Punk fires off elbows to the head, only to be caught in a running powerbomb to kill Punk dead. Lesnar can’t follow up though and both guys are down. A delayed cover gets two on Punk as Heyman is having a heart attack. Lesnar hits Three Amigos of all things for two before very slowly grabbing a chair. Punk gets up and dives onto Lesnar but he mostly hit chair.

Now it’s Punk with the chair and a few shots send Brock back inside. Lesnar gets the chair away but Punk goes low to stop Brock’s chair shot. Punk takes the chair up top and drops an elbow (kind of) onto Brock for a closer two. More chair shots to the back have Lesnar screaming in pain but Heyman takes the chair from Punk’s hands. Lesnar is up AGAIN but Punk grabs Heyman’s tie to escape the F5.

The GTS connects but Heyman comes in to break up the pin. Punk gets a big smile on his face as there’s no Brock to save Heyman, but the case winds up in the F5, which Punk counters into a faceplant for a VERY close two. The Anaconda Vice goes on but Heyman tries to come in with a chair, only to have Punk stand on the chair to block it.

Heyman slaps at Punk’s leg in a funny bit but gets caught by the neck. A right hand puts Heyman down and now he’s in the Vice but Lesnar is back up. He crushes Punk with the chair and hits him even harder the second time. A third shot knocks Punk silly and the F5 onto the chair ends this at 25:20.

Rating: A+. The storytelling and psychology alone made this a great match. I loved the idea that Punk kept taking the weapons away from Lesnar but once Brock got in the first chair shot the match was over. Punk showed he was smarter leading up to the match but his hatred for Heyman cost him in the end when he went on emotion instead of intelligence.

The action in this was incredible as well as it felt like a fight instead of a match, which is the right idea. If nothing else, this shows how bad of an idea the HHH feud was. Punk and Cena have both blown away all of the HHH matches with Lesnar by miles and miles, but we got a year of HHH and a month each of the other guys so far. Such is life in the WWE. Outstanding match here though.

We get a clip from Axxess where a fan took a splash from Mark Henry for three tickets to Summerslam.

Kaitlyn/Dolph Ziggler vs. AJ Lee/Big E. Langston

This is just a combination of two feuds which is a fine way to get both of them on the card. The guys start with Ziggler getting caught in a belly to belly suplex and a spinning splash of all things from Langston. Off to an abdominal stretch before AJ gets in a slap to Langston. Dolph comes back with a quick dropkick and it’s off to the girls. Kaitlyn throws AJ around with ease but gets caught with a wicked spinwheel kick to the face. A few neckbreakers put Kaitlyn down and AJ skips around.

Off to a sleeper which doesn’t last long as it’s back to the guys. Ziggler speeds things up and splashes Big E. in the corner. Ten straight elbow drops to set up the jumping elbow get a two count. Langston makes a quick comeback but gets sent shoulder first into the post. AJ grabs Dolph’s leg but Kaitlyn spears her down as Langston runs Dolph over for two. The Big Ending is escaped into the Zig Zag for the pin at 6:48.

Rating: C-. This was fine but it was in the death spot on the card between the two main events. It came off well enough though and the crowd was into it at times. It was a WAY better idea than putting the Total Divas match here which I thought they were going to do. Nothing great but it did its job just fine.

Fandango and Summer Rae cut off Miz again so he lays Fandango out.

Some low level celebrities are here.

The expert panel make their predictions on the main event. Bryan is the favorite.

We recap the main event. Daniel Bryan is on the roll of a lifetime and Cena selected him for the title shot tonight. The idea is simple: Bryan says Cena isn’t a wrestler, Cena says he’s proven everyone that has said that wrong. However there’s a wildcard in all this: HHH, who is the guest referee and will likely be joining Vince to hijack the match because their storyline is SO much more important than anything else.

Raw World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

The fans are almost unanimously behind Bryan here. Cena has a very bad elbow injury coming in and has been out of action for a few weeks. Feeling out process to start with Cena taking him to the mat via a headlock. Bryan easily gets back to his feet and tries a test of strength of all things with Cena taking him down to the mat. He can’t break Bryan’s bridge though and Bryan monkey flips him down. The YES Lock doesn’t work as Cena bails to the floor.

Back in and Cena tries a left arm (the bad arm) headlock but Bryan takes him down again. The double knee stomp surfboard doesn’t work as Cena kicks Bryan away. Daniel goes to the apron and is knocked HARD into the announce table. Cena follows him to the floor but gets whipped into the steps. Bryan tries a suplex off the steps in a spot I’ve never seen before but Cena counters into one of his own to put both guys down. Fans: “YOU STILL SUCK!”

Cena wisely turns it into a brawl and punches Bryan down before hitting a Batista Bomb of all things. We hit the chinlock and HHH hasn’t been a factor yet. Bryan comes back with forearms to the head and kicks to the chest in the corner but HHH yells at him. Lawler: “Don’t gloat goat!” Bryan hits the running clothesline but misses the hard kick to the head. Cena tries his finishing sequence but Bryan kicks him in the head to block the Shuffle. Bryan can’t hook a submission hold and gets caught in the ProtoBomb followed by the Shuffle for no cover.

Bryan flips out of the AA and catches a charging Cena in the chin with a boot. The missile dropkick connects for two and Bryan fires off the kicks to the chest. Now Bryan goes after the bad arm before slapping on the STF of all things. Cena is about to get to the ropes so Bryan pulls him back and hits two German suplexes for two each. Bryan counters the AA into the YES Lock and Cena is in big trouble. Cena counters by getting his head free (wrestling you say?) but gets pulled down into a guillotine choke.

John FINALLY powers out of it but can barely follow up. Bryan charges right at Cena but gets caught in the AA for a close two. That came out of nowhere and had the fans inhaling in unison. Cena goes up but has to knock Bryan down twice before getting caught by a running dropkick. Now Bryan gets up top and superplexes Cena down but stays on top in a cool power move. He sits up onto the top for the Swan Dive but Cena is up at two. John rolls to the floor and blocks the FLYING GOAT with a forearm to the head.

This time the top rope Fameasser connects for two and Cena is getting frustrated. Cena tries the middle rope AA but Bryan fires off about 25 elbows to the head to break it up. Bryan can’t hit a top rope rana so Cena loads up what looks like a Styles Clash but jumps down and drops Bryan o his head in a SCARY looking botch. Bryan looks ok though and Cena rolls into the STF. Bryan rolls over to his side but the hold is still on, basically making it a chinlock with a body scissors.

Daniel rolls out and hooks the YES Lock in the middle of the ring. Cena crawls over (with his arm slapping the mat in what could have been a tap if you stretched a bit) and FINALLY makes a rope. Bryan hits the running dropkick in the corner and makes it a pair for good measure. Cena comes back with a MASSIVE clothesline but he can’t follow up. They slug it out and both hit shoulders at the same time for another double layout.

Now they slap each other out in the middle of the ring and it’s Bryan taking over and moonsaulting out of the corner, but Cena nearly catches him in mid air. He tries a spinebuster but Bryan counters into a DDT and a lot of checking on each other. Bryan tries a high cross (popular move tonight) but Cena catches him in mid air. Bryan counters into the small package they’ve been building up for weeks but it’s only good for two in a GREAT false finish. The big kick to Cena’s head puts the champion down again and a Shining Freaking Wizard GETS THE PIN AND THE TITLE AT 26:58!

Rating: A+. WHAT A BRILLIANT FINISH! They totally fooled us all by having the standard WWE formula playing out but Bryan wins it out of nowhere with a knee to the head. Brilliant move there after a great match to boot. What more can you ask for in the main event of the second biggest show of the year? Excellent stuff and HHH did absolutely nothing at all.

Post match Cena grabs Bryan and turns him around but they shake hands. Cena leaves with no incident and Bryan celebrates but HERE’S ORTON! Bryan is looking at him though and says bring it on. Orton is standing at ringside and turns around. Bryan celebrates and HHH spins him around and Pedigrees him. Orton comes in and hands HHH the case. You know what’s coming.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Seven seconds and Orton wins.

Everyone is shocked to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. There are definitely some bad spots on here but the main events more than make this a great show. The WWE has been on fire for the last few months and this was no exception with some great matches on top of the card and the midcard having some nice surprises with the Smackdown Title match being much better than I was expecting. The ending was what a lot of people were expecting, because screw making a new star since it’s all about the McMahons. Excellent show though and well worth checking out.

Results

Bray Wyatt b. Kane – Sister Abigail

Cody Rhodes b. Damien Sandow – Cross Rhodes

Alberto Del Rio b. Christian – Cross Armbreaker

Natalya b. Brie Bella – Sharpshooter

Brock Lesnar b. CM Punk – F5 onto a chair

Dolph Ziggler/Kaitlyn b. AJ Lee/Big E. Langston – Zig Zag to Langston

Daniel Bryan b. John Cena – Shining Wizard

Randy Orton b. Daniel Bryan – Pin after a Pedigree from HHH

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXXI
Date: March 29, 2015
Location: Levi’s Stadium, Santa Clara, California
Attendance: 76,976
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is an interesting show as most people really weren’t looking forward to it. The card isn’t that bad on paper but the interest is still low. Reigns vs. Lesnar isn’t the most exciting main event and the idea of HHH vs. Sting as a regular match is borderline terrifying. The show has surprised me before though so let’s get to it.

The set is HUGE this year with a very wide stage and a big circle for the Titantron looking like a play button on the WWE Network. It’s another open air stadium and since it’s on the west coast, the sun is shining very brightly for a unique look.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. Los Matadores vs. Usos vs. New Day

One fall to a finish. Kidd and Cesaro, with Kidd’s wife Natalya, are defending and it’s Kofi Kingston/Big E. (minus the Langston) for New Day with Xavier Woods in their corner. The Usos (in San Francisco 49ers colors) have Jimmy’s wife Naomi and Los Matadores still have El Torito. Cesaro and Kofi start fighting with Kingston scoring a quick dropkick but Diego tags himself in.

A ticked off Cesaro pulls Jey off the apron and whips him into the barricade, re-aggravating a shoulder injury and taking Jey out. Kofi monkey flips Diego for two and gets punched in the face as Jey is being taken to the back. Back to Cesaro for a chinlock before the Swing sends Kofi into Kidd’s dropkick. Kofi gets kicked into the corner so Jimmy can tag himself in for a superkick to Cesaro.

Kidd, Fernando, Big E. and Cesaro are all down in a corner and Jimmy nails the running Umaga hip attack to each one of them. Kofi dives onto Diego as any semblance of the tagging has been abandoned. Kidd springboards into a superkick from Jimmy, who charges into an uppercut from Cesaro. Big E. comes in and launches Kofi into a double knee to Cesaro’s chest for two.

Cesaro’s apron superplex takes Big E. down and Los Matadores add a powerbomb/Backstabber combo to Kofi with Kidd breaking up the pin. Kofi goes after Kidd on the floor but has to catch Torito, allowing Natalya to put the bull in a Sharpshooter to continue a stupid mini feud. Jimmy and Naomi dive onto Kidd, Kofi and Fernando. Back in and the Midnight Hour (Big Ending from Big E. (a powerslam drop) and a middle rope DDT from Kofi) plants Diego with Jimmy and Cesaro making stereo saves.

Fernando switches with Diego for a rollup on Big E. but the referee says he’s not legal. If that’s true, I want to buy that referee a ham sandwich. Big E. picks up Diego and Kidd at the same time but Jimmy breaks it up with a superkick. Kidd eats Trouble in Paradise but Cesaro uppercuts Kofi on top. Los Matadores go up top for a double superplex but Cesaro and Big E. make it a double Tower of Doom. JBL: “OH THE HUMANITY!” Jimmy adds a Superfly splash to Big E. but Cesaro steals the pin at retain at 9:58.

Rating: B. Total and complete insanity here (described as a car wreck by the commentators) which was all it needed to be. They didn’t go with a copy of last year’s match, even though a lot of the participants were the same. Kidd and Cesaro were really clicking as a team and the division as a whole was looking up until Kidd’s injury in June.

Pre-Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Adam Rose, Alex Riley, Big E., Big Show, Bo Dallas, Cesaro, Curtis Axel, Damien Mizdow, Darren Young, Diego, Erick Rowan, Fandango, Fernando, Goldust, Heath Slater, Hideo Itami, Jack Swagger, Jimmy Uso, Kane, Kofi Kingston, Konnor, Mark Henry, Ryback, Sin Cara, The Miz, Titus O’Neil, Tyson Kidd, Viktor, Xavier Woods, Zack Ryder

Rose loves to party, Riley is back from injury, Axel is dressed like Hulk Hogan in a gimmick called Axelmania after he was never officially eliminated from the 2015 Royal Rumble, Dallas is a self-obsessed motivational speaker, Mizdow is Sandow copying the Miz as his stunt double (and becoming incredibly popular due to how hard he’s worked at the character), Itami is an NXT guy who won a tournament for this spot and Konnor and Viktor are a power team called the Ascension. The seven people from the opening match are surprise additions to this.

Axel breaks up the brawling to start so he can rip off his shirt, earning himself an elimination from the masses. Everyone keeps fighting until Rose and Fandango eliminate each other. Miz and Mizdow double team Riley and get rid of him with Miz taking the credit. Dallas eliminates Ryder, takes a victory lap, and then gets kicked out by Itami. The fans are way into him so here’s Big Show to eliminate Itami before anyone gets too excited.

Kane gets rid of Los Matadores at the same time and Cesaro does the same to Rose. Henry throws out Kidd but the ring is still WAY too full. Ascension gets rid of Henry and knocks Show down in a stupid move. Ryback dumps Ascension for their brilliance, followed by Young and Slater a few seconds after. Titus goes out too and it’s all Ryback, so Big Show is RIGHT THERE to cut him off.

Show clotheslines Swagger out and takes out all three members of New Day from the apron. You WILL respect Big Show and his amazing strength whether you like it or not. We’re down to Show, Rowan, Uso, Ryback, Cesaro, Goldust, Miz, Mizdow and Kane. The fans are behind Mizdow as Show dumps Rowan.

Ryback gets rid of Goldust but Kane saves Big Show for no logical reason. Miz and Mizdow take a double chokeslam from Kane, who is quickly slammed out by Cesaro. Show dumps Jimmy but gets picked up by Cesaro again, only to escape and dump Cesaro with ease. Ryback grabs a spinebuster on Show and is eliminated for trying to get any momentum.

It’s Miz, Mizdow and Show for the final three but Mizdow FINALLY stands up to Miz and tells him to go do it himself. Miz gets annoyed and yells at him for about a minute as Show just stands back and watch. Mizdow snaps and eliminates Miz and gets to fight Big Show on his own. Some clotheslines have the giant in trouble and Mizdow low bridges him halfway out. Show gets back up and shrugs off a front facelock before easily eliminating Mizdow at 18:08.

Rating: D. So yeah, all hail Big Show, may his name forever be praised, because he’s big and strong and bald and was here back in 1999 so we must give him a win. On top of that, they were trying to push the idea that Big Show had never won a battle royal, ignoring the one he won on Smackdown in 2014 and the one he won on Raw in 2006.

Instead of using this to make Mizdow into someone important, they went with Big Show because he just hasn’t won anything important in a long time. This was it for Mizdow as he would lose the big showdown with Miz less than a month later and pretty much disappear. Big Show on the other hand would do exactly the same thing he’s done for about the last ten years: be treated like a monster and then lose to someone new. Except here of course because Mizdow winning would have been stupid.

Aloe Blacc sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is hosted by LL Cool J and talks about how entertainment has evolved with everyone being connected. The one thing that has stayed the same though is us as we’ve watched moment after moment in the history of Wrestlemania. That generation at the beginning created what we see today and connects us all together. Tonight, these men and women will take the biggest stage and connect us all. This is Wrestlemania. Cool stuff here and it worked very well.

Intercontinental Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Bad News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Stardust vs. Luke Harper vs. R-Truth vs. Dean Ambrose

Ladder match and Barrett is defending after issuing a challenge for a bunch of people to fight him. Stardust is Cody Rhodes as an even freakier version of Goldust. Truth is scared of heights and is going to have some issues in this one. It’s a huge brawl to start and Ambrose takes Harper down with a suicide dive. Stardust jumps off the middle rope and lands on a bunch of people (the Falling Star), leaving Harper to dive on everyone but Ambrose.

Dean climbs a ladder and dives on the other six to put all seven of them down. Truth is the first one back in but he can’t bring himself to climb. It’s Barrett with the save but Bryan dropkicks a ladder into him before whipping Stardust into the ladder to crush Barrett even more. The momentum is stopped as Harper throws the ladder at Bryan but he’s able to tie Harper upside down in the ladder for the YES Kicks.

That earns Bryan a superkick from Ziggler and it’s Dean and Dolph going for a climb. Barrett joins them but Stardust takes out the ladder to put everyone down. The fans chant CODY to freak Stardust out so he throws a ladder at Harper. Stardust goes outside and pulls out his own ladder called the, and I quote, Exo-Atmospheric Starbird. In other words, it’s a ladder covered in glitter.

Barrett will have none of that and breaks a rung off to give Stardust a beating. Dean throws the glitter ladder at Barrett and the glitter falls all over the ring. Now it’s time to bring in two small ladders so Harper and Ambrose can have a duel, capped off by a boot to Dean’s face. Harper lays a smaller ladder on the top rope and rams Dean into it face first. The ladder around Luke’s head takes some people out but Truth drop toeholds Harper down, sending him into the ladder.

Truth sets up the big ladder but Stardust goes for the climb, only to get superplexed back down by Barrett. Bryan, Ziggler and Ambrose go up top until Dean drops down and shoves the ladder over. Dean goes up until Harper powerbombs him off the ladder and through a ladder bridged between the barricade and ring. Ziggler tries a sleeper on Harper as he climbs, followed by the Zig Zag to bring them crashing down.

Somehow Dolph is able to climb up, only to have Barrett pull him down into the Bull Hammer. Another one knocks Truth off but Bryan makes a quick climb and kicks Barrett down. Barrett is right back up though and makes a save, followed by a quick running knee from Bryan, allowing him to climb up, headbutt Ziggler off and win the title at 13:55.

Rating: B. Giving Bryan a title (the fifth different one he’s fought for in five years) is a good idea as it lets the fans get it out of their system with a feel good moment. If he hadn’t won here, the fans would have probably hijacked the show with their DANIEL BRYAN chants because if Bryan isn’t the featured attraction, there’s no way they can possibly enjoy the show. Some fans. Anyway, this was exactly what the match should have been: Money in the Bank but for a title. Unfortunately Bryan would get hurt again and be out of action in less than a month, putting him on the shelf indefinitely.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton. Rollins broke up the Shield last year and became the Authority’s young ace, which ticked Orton off. This led to a feud with Rollins putting Orton on the shelf (meaning onto a movie set) with a Curb Stomp onto some steps. Then Orton returned and rejoined the Authority for a few weeks, only to turn on them again and attack Rollins to set this up. After all that stupid, they went with a simpler idea: Orton as the original future of the WWE vs. Rollins as the new future.

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Rollins is Mr. Money in the Bank and has Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble as his personal stooges. Seth starts by flipping away from Orton, only to eat a dropkick and bail to the floor from the threat of an RKO. Back in and a big clothesline looks to set up the RKO again but the Stooges offer a distraction to break it up. Orton deals with them early off a double elevated DDT from the apron.

The distraction lets Seth get in his first offense though and Orton is in trouble. A snap suplex gets two and we’re in the chinlock on Orton. Back up and Orton grabs a powerslam, followed by a t-bone suplex to send Rollins to the apron. As luck would have it, he’s in position for the elevated DDT but Seth pops up with an enziguri, followed by an Asai moonsault to put both guys on the floor.

Back in and Randy can’t get a superplex but he’ll settle for a top rope backdrop and a high cross body, only to have Seth roll through for two. A low superkick staggers Orton and Seth tries standing Sliced Bread #2, only to get caught in the RKO for a very close two. That’s a move you don’t see kicked out of very often. The Stooges break up the Punt to keep this PG, allowing Rollins to hit the Curb Stomp for two. Seth tries it again but this time Orton launches him into the air and catches him in the RKO for the pin at 13:15.

Rating: B. Good but not great here with the near falls off the false finishes not having the best heat in the world. That ending is more than worth it though and looked awesome with Orton being able to catch that thing from almost anywhere. Orton is the kind of guy that you can throw in there whenever you need a spot like this and the fans are going to freak out over the RKO every time, especially when it’s something like that. Good stuff.

Ronda Rousey is here.

We recap HHH vs. Sting, which started back at Survivor Series but Sting disappeared for a few months, as is his custom. Sting stood up against the Authority’s corruption so the Authority talked down to him for never being in the big pond before, because WCW’s legacy exists for WWE to stomp on it and beat their chest over the battle that ended fourteen years ago. This turned into a big thing about the Monday Night Wars with Sting being the last soldier from WCW that had to be vanquished.

As a side note, here’s a great example of why Stephanie gets on people’s nerves. On one of the last shows before this match, Sting came out to say that this shouldn’t be about the Monday Night Wars because that would be totally ridiculous. This brought out Stephanie, to insist that it WAS about the Monday Night Wars and barely letting Sting get in another word, because she had spoken and that’s all that mattered.

HHH vs. Sting

No DQ or countout. Sting is played to the ring by some kind of Japanese band with drums and a gong. As you might expect, HHH completely upstages him with a full on Terminator commercial with the robots rising from the stage, a clip from the movie, HHH dressed as a Terminator and Arnold Schwarzenegger himself appearing on screen for the introduction. It might be time to call in Robocop.

They lock up after forty five seconds and a shoulder drops HHH for more stalling. A hiptoss and dropkick put HHH in the corner and Sting is looking better than he has in years. Fans: “YOU STILL GOT IT!” HHH’s right hands and facebuster have little effect as Sting goes for the Scorpion Deathlock (basically a Sharpshooter), sending HHH bailing to the floor. HHH comes back in but gets whipped over the corner as this has been one sided for the first five minutes.

Sting goes to the floor though and the Stinger Splash hits the barricade by mistake, as it’s done all but roughly twice in his career. Back in and HHH whips him across the ring several times until Sting collapses. We hit the chinlock to slow things down again before HHH goes to the middle rope for some reason. He dives into the Scorpion and here’s DX (X-Pac and the New Age Outlaws) for the save.

Sting fights them off with ease and backdrops HHH onto them, setting up a dive off the top (remember that Sting is 56 here) to take them all out. Back in and a Pedigree gets two so HHH gets the sledgehammer (one of at least two under the ring). This brings out the NWO (Hall, Nash and Hogan) to save Sting (SO much wrong with that statement, not even counting trying to remember if the Kliq exists in storylines or not). They take their sweet time and eventually clean house, allowing Sting to hit the Scorpion Death Drop (reverse DDT) for two.

Now the Deathlock goes on and Hogan pulls the sledgehammer away. Gunn takes Nash down and Nash is holding his leg in what almost has to be a rib. Sting tries to put the hold back on but Shawn Michaels runs in for Sweet Chin Music (well the area a few inches in front of the chin that is). HHH only gets two and both guys are done. Shawn hands HHH the hammer but Hall gives Sting a bat for the awesome duel. HHH’s hammer is broken over the bat and Sting pounds away in the corner, only to dive into the sledgehammer to the face for the pin at 18:35.

Rating: B-. This was a blast until the ending which I really didn’t want to see. Of course the quality here was bad but they were never going to get a good match out there so why not just go for the big circus act? I know the logic is that you can’t have Sting come in and beat HHH because he was WCW, but again, IT WAS FOURTEEN YEARS AGO.

Why does anything about the other company matter anymore? Sting came in as a big, fun moment and then it’s HAHA HHH WINS AGAIN! To be fair though, this was his first Wrestlemania win in five years so it’s not like it happens often. Still though, fun stuff but the ending was a punch to the stomach.

Post match HHH shakes Sting’s hand. As in the guy he hit in the face with a hammer two minutes ago. This doesn’t make any sense as HHH is still the corrupt villain, meaning Sting’s original mission should be ongoing. Forget all that though as this was one more rehash of the Monday Night Wars because people still care about that.

Ads for new shows coming to the WWE Network, including the new Divas Search.

Maria Menunos, in a Bushwhackers shirt, brings in Daniel Bryan. First ever Intercontinental Champion Pat Patterson comes in to congratulate him, as do Roddy Piper, Ricky Steamboat, Ric Flair (of course) and Bret Hart, who starts a YES chant. Ron Simmons comes in and scares them all before hitting his catchphrase.

Skylar Grey, Kid Ink and Travis Barker perform the theme songs. Thankfully it wasn’t a full on medley.

AJ Lee/Paige vs. Bella Twins

Real people vs. reality stars (from Total Divas), even though Paige had already become a cast member. Nikki is Divas Champion and in the middle of her reign of doom. Paige debuted at the Raw after Wrestlemania last year and has formed a dream team with AJ to take on the sisters.

Nikki and Paige have a catfight to start with the champ getting the better of it and knocking AJ off the apron. An Alabama Slam gets two on off an Alabama Slam. Brie comes in with a middle rope missile dropkick as the announcers debate the importance of the women not on Total Divas. AJ gets knocked off the apron again and Brie’s running knee to Paige gets two.

Back to Nikki who drops AJ for the third time, followed by the Rack Attack for two on Paige. They’re even kicking out of the finishers in midcard matches now. Paige superkicks Nikki down and both Bellas wind up on the floor, setting up Paige’s flip dive off the apron. The hot tag FINALLY brings in AJ who is quickly slammed down for two but Brie has to save Nikki from the Black Widow. Nikki forearms AJ for two more, only to get caught in the Black Widow for the submission at 6:42.

Rating: C-. This was a handicap match for the first half with Paige cleaning house, which was made even weirder when AJ came in anyway. Not that it mattered though as the Bellas were going to be pushed as the stars as long as they wanted to because of that stupid reality show. In theory this should have set up AJ as the next challenger but she retired later in the week and left the company for good.

We get a tale of the tape for Lesnar vs. Reigns, which Cole says is the result of a computer analysis. The stats include height, weight and career accomplishments. Did this computer analysis take place in the Korean War?

Hall of Fame video, with highlights of Lanny Poffo reading a poem to induct his brother Randy Savage and Connor Michalek receiving the first Warrior Award.

The Class of 2015 includes Rikishi, Larry Zbyszko (mainly famous in the 80s), Alundra Blayze, Connor Michalek, the Bushwhackers (with Butch on crutches but still doing the strut), Tatsumi Fujinami (a legendary Japanese wrestler), Randy Savage (represented by his brother), Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Kevin Nash (for the required Kliq member, though I wonder why he can go in under his real name and not Hall).

We recap John Cena vs. Rusev for the US Title. Rusev, an evil Bulgarian/Russian, won the title late last year and is undefeated. He’s run through all kinds of American stars and even beat Cena via knockout at Fast Lane 2015. Tonight is the big rematch (as granted by Rusev’s manager Lana to plant the seeds for their split) and showdown for the title. This is one of those stories that worked for years and is still working now because it’s such a simple idea.

US Title: Rusev vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging. Rusev’s entrance trumps everything tonight as the Russian military accompanies Lana to the ring before Rusev rolls out IN A TANK. This is so Rocky IV. Cena has a video montage of Presidents of the United States talking about American exceptionalism until Cena walks out. The fans do the always awesome JOHN CENA SUCKS chant to the tune of his music.

The champ spinwheel kicks the American down to start and dives at Cena for a gutwrench suplex (from Rusev in a cool move) for two. A Cannonball in the corner gets the same but Rusev stops to wave the Russian flag. You don’t do that to a real American so Cena kicks him in the face and starts his way too early finishing sequence. The top rope Fameasser gets two but the fans are too busy cheering for Lana to care.

The AA is broken up and a jumping superkick drops Cena cold. Rusev argues with the referee though and Cena hooks a tornado DDT for two more. A quick Alabama Slam (that’s how you do it Nikki) looks to set up the Accolade (Rusev’s camel clutch finisher) but Cena pulls him down into the STF. As Cena does some of the loudest instructing I’ve ever heard (telling Rusev to keep his head up), Lana throws in a shoe for a distraction so Rusev can make the ropes. Seriously, a shoe? You couldn’t like, go yell at him or something? At least it was rather heelish.

Rusev throws him down with a fall away slam, followed by a top rope headbutt of all things for two. He can’t quite get the Accolade though, allowing Cena to kick him away and debut the springboard Stunner for two of his own. Another jumping superkick and a wheelbarrow slam set up the Accolade and the fans are THRILLED. This time Cena powers out and grabs the STF. Lana offers another distraction but Rusev rams into her by mistake, setting up the AA to give Cena the title at 14:43.

Rating: C+. It’s cool to see Cena drop down the card like this as he’s been in the main event for so long now that it’s hard to get into seeing him win the World Title again. The match was good enough even if there was an obvious ending but the Accolade could have stayed on longer. Rusev was built up to lose at a match like this and there’s nothing wrong with that. It would have been interesting to see Rusev escape again here though and have Cena chase him over the summer.

Rusev blames Lana for the loss.

Wrestlemania XXXII is in Dallas.

The pre-show panel talks about the Tag Team Title match and Big Show winning the battle royal. Thanks for reminding me.

Here are HHH and Stephanie to brag about the new attendance record and desperately fill in some time as we have two matches left and nearly an hour and a half to go. Stephanie talks about watching Wrestlemania I live and seeing her friend Andre the Giant (This was a thing for her around this time as she would mention this whenever she could. For some reason this was her justification for not letting Cena be in the Andre battle royal.).

Wrestlemania has grown exponentially since then and it’s all because of the Authority’s leadership. HHH says it’s like he beat everyone here tonight, just like he beat Sting (Buy a ticket, get a hammer to the face!). They own everyone here because the Authority wins. That means they own the people and that means it’s time for the Rock. Cole says Rock has headlined five Wrestlemanias. Are they really still going with the idea that Rock vs. Hogan wasn’t the headliner?

The fans keep cheering until Stephanie asks them to be quiet because we get the idea. Rock tells Stephanie that she doesn’t own the people here, including himself because he was born right around here. As for HHH, he can either go dress up as the Terminator again or they can make a Wrestlemania moment right here and right now. HHH doesn’t seem interested so, just like Rock left his heart in San Francisco, HHH clearly left something back in Connecticut.

Stephanie gets in Rock’s face and says he knows there’s no Rock without the McMahons. Rock’s dad Rocky Johnson would be nowhere without Vince Sr., Vince Jr. and Stephanie. That starts a chant for Shane, which even Cole acknowledges. Rock says that Stephanie would be nowhere without Vince so she slaps him. Stephanie keeps ranting as Rock goes outside……and stands next to Ronda Rousey. Fans: “RONDA’S GONNA KILL YOU!” Rock introduces her to Stephanie but Stephanie says they’re friends already.

Stephanie KEEPS GOING and says this is her ring. Ronda says any ring she steps into is hers so Stephanie can make her leave. Stephanie smiles at her but Rousey gives her a look, which Rock sums up as meaning “she’s going to reach down your throat, pull out your insides and play jump rope with your Fallopian tubes.” HHH tries to interrupt and gets beaten down, including a hiptoss from Rousey. Stephanie loads up the slap but gets her arm bent back with as little force as possible, likely due to UFC contract stipulations. Rousey and Rock stand tall.

There’s no time to recap Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker but it’s what you would expect: Bray wants to be the new evil monster and Undertaker stands in his way. The interesting note here is Bray sprained the heck out of his ankle earlier in the day so he’s nowhere near 100%.

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

The awesome entrances continue (well as awesome as a guy holding a lantern when it’s still daylight can be) as Bray walks down the ramp and passes a string of zombies who come to life as he goes by. Undertaker has grown some hair back and looks like he did in 2002. Bray charges into a boot before the bell, though that might be all that ankle can handle for the match.

Some driving shoulders set up Old School (notice that Undertaker’s offense here keeps Bray from having to stand alone) but a running clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor. He lands on his feet though and pulls Bray out to keep up the beating. The apron legdrop staggers Bray even more but he breaks up the big boot with his running cross body. Bray takes his time pounding Undertaker down which makes sense coming from him.

The ankle is fine enough for a running splash in the corner but Bray drops down and puts on a chinlock. For someone as banged up as he is, this is a solid performance from Wyatt. Undertaker’s head is rammed into the post but Bray goes down and holds his ankle. I don’t know why they didn’t do a quick angle during the match to explain the injury. Back in and Bray can’t stand at first.

Undertaker grabs Hell’s Gate but Bray punches his way out before it goes on full. A release Rock Bottom sets up the backsplash for two on Undertaker. Sister Abigail is countered into a chokeslam followed by a Tombstone for two. These near falls are WAY past overdone so far tonight. Another Tombstone is countered into Sister Abigail to freak Bray out even more. Bray does his spider bridge up but Undertaker sits up and glares into Wyatt’s eyes, sending Bray wilting to the mat in a perfect reaction. Bray actually wins a slugout but Sister Abigail is countered into a second Tombstone to give Undertaker the pin at 15:06.

Rating: C+. This match told me a few things. First and foremost, last year’s match was so bad because of the injury. Undertaker looked like his old (emphasis on that word) self here and was nowhere near as off as he was last year. Unfortunately it also tells me that Bray isn’t going to move up the card any time soon.

With the Streak over there’s no real reason for Undertaker to win here, other than to give the fans a feel good moment. Bray was trying as hard as he could on one leg but he could only get so far. Finally, Undertaker is missing something now that the Streak is gone. 21-1 still sounds impressive but it’s just not the same.

Ad for Extreme Rules.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar. Brock has been unstoppable lately after squashing Cena to win the title at Summerslam 2014. Reigns won the Royal Rumble to earn the shot, despite being LOATHED by the crowd at this point. The idea became about him trying to honor his family’s history and legacy which worked to a degree, but no matter what they did, it was still Brock Lesnar on the other side and people wanted to see him massacre Reigns in every way he could think of.

The other problem for Reigns is he hasn’t really earned the spot. Aside from the Rumble, his only major win was last month over Daniel Bryan. This really wasn’t the strongest build in the world and is boiling down to Brock suplexes a lot and Reigns hits him a lot. Roman has been told he can’t beat Brock and his motivation is to prove him wrong. That’s the extent of his motivation and that’s not enough for the main event of Wrestlemania.

WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Brock is defending of course. We do the big match intros and Reigns is booed out of the building, following by the fans to quote Heyman’s intro along with him. Roman goes right at Brock to start but gets driven into the corner, setting up the first German suplex. Brock is already bleeding but he hits the F5 inside of thirty seconds. A release fisherman’s suplex sends Reigns flying but he elbows out of a German, drawing incredible booing from the crowd.

Brock no sells a clothesline and now the German sends Reigns across the ring again. Reigns smiles at Brock, earning himself a belly to back suplex and Brock debuting the “SUPLEX CITY” line. Right hands don’t bother Brock either as another German drops Reigns again. Roman keeps smiling so Brock breaks it up with a release German. The fans think this is awesome as Brock forearms Reigns off the apron and into the barricade. As he gets back in, Reigns scores with a knee to the ribs, followed by some kicks to the face but Brock catches a foot and knocks Reigns silly with a clothesline.

A belly to belly overhead brings Reigns back in over the top rope but Reigns shakes his head at Brock again. Another F5 gets two and now Brock take the gloves off. Some hard slaps put Reigns down but he tells Brock to bring it on. Another German earns him another bring it on so Brock gives him suplex number ten. The third F5 gets two more, putting Reigns past Undertaker last year. Brock takes Roman outside but Reigns posts him, drawing some real blood from Lesnar.

Back in and Brock is wobbly so Roman its two straight Superman Punches. That gets him to a knee but Reigns has to elbow out of another German. The third Superman Punch puts Brock down and there’s the spear. Brock is up though so a second spear gets a VERY close two. Heyman is on his knees praying as the fans are booing Roman even more. A fourth Superman Punch is countered into a fourth F5…….AND HERE COMES SETH ROLLINS TO CASH IN MONEY IN THE BANK!

WWE World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

The Curb Stomp puts Brock down but Reigns has to spear Brock down to save Seth from an F5. Another Curb Stomp (and a whisper of “thank you so much” to Reigns) gives Seth the title at 16:43!

Rating: A-. They went in a TOTALLY different direction here and it was the best thing they possibly could have done. Reigns vs. Lesnar had little interest as a match but as a one sided war with Reigns giving it everything he had near the end, they turned it into one of the most dramatic spectacles you could find. They had me on the near fall after that second spear and I lost it when Rollins came out.

That ending was a stroke of brilliance as they didn’t want to job Lesnar but they didn’t want to give Reigns the title yet. Rollins had been the wrestler of the year in 2014 and it made much better sense to give him the credit that he deserved for it here. Great drama, great action, and a way better match that it had any right to be.

Fireworks and posing take us out.

Overall Rating: B+. I actually liked this show a lot more live, which probably had a lot to do with the expectations being so low coming in. With more time to think about it and the shock of the cash in being gone, it’s still a really strong show that FAR exceeded expectations. The main event was great and most of the other stuff was good. Aside from the main event there really isn’t a big blow away match though and that hurts things a bit.

The entire show was set up differently this year as there were very few backstage segments and the show was able to fly by otherwise. However, there was that big twenty plus minute segment with Rock/HHH/Stephanie and that’s what caused a big part of this show’s problem: it’s too long.

Counting the two hour pre-show and it’s nearly thirty minutes of wrestling, this show runs nearly six hours. It doesn’t matter if it’s the greatest show you’ve ever watched; that’s too long. There had to be something that could be cut in here (hint: it was the long part that didn’t involve a match), even though none of the matches broke twenty minutes. Between the big talking segment and the live performance, which still adds nothing to the show, there’s too much in here and it makes for a very long sit.

Overall though, this was a major surprise and a better show than it had any right to be. The low expectations helped it a lot, but this was looking like one of the worst Wrestlemanias in history and wound up being a lot of fun. Nothing on it really stands out above the rest (save for maybe the main event) so the whole is greater than the sum of all its parts. Really fun show here.

Ratings Comparison

New Day vs. Los Matadores vs. Usos vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd

Original: C+

Redo: B

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D+

Redo: D

Intercontinental Title Ladder Match

Original: B

Redo: B

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: B

Sting vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: B-

Paige/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Rusev vs. John Cena

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

Original: B

Redo: C+

Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: B+

Yeah the shock had a lot to do with it but there was good stuff throughout.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/03/29/wrestlemania-xxxi-shock-and-awe-shock-and-awe/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXXI
Date: March 29, 2015
Location: Levi’s Stadium, Santa Clara, California
Attendance: 76,976
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Tonight is the night. Even though the build hasn’t been the best in recent history, this is still Wrestlemania and the biggest show of the year. The main event is the recently re-signed Brock Lesnar defending his WWE World Heavyweight Title against the winner of the Royal Rumble, Roman Reigns. The card looks good on paper but that has to translate to something more. Let’s get to it.

The stage is HUGE and has a big circle in the middle for a Titantron.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Los Matadores vs. Usos vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kid vs. New Day

One fall to a finish here. Cesaro and Kidd are defending, Jey Uso has a banged up shoulder and it’s Kofi and Big E for New Day. The Usos are in regular short trunks with tassels and are in San Francisco 49ers colors. The fans are behind Cesaro as he starts with Kingston but Fernando tags Cesaro to come in. Cesaro goes after Jey on the floor and sends him into the barricade, likely to write him out of the match due to his shoulder.

Back in and Kofi takes Fernando down for two as Jimmy checks on his brother. Diego slingshots in with a hilo to Kofi and it’s back to Cesaro for a chinlock. Jey is taken out as Kidd comes in for the Swing into the dropkick for two. Everything breaks down for a bit until it’s only Kofi and Kidd with the latter holding a chinlock. Jimmy comes back in and cleans house with superkicks all around and four straight running Umaga attacks in the corner.

Kofi dives off the top onto Fernando, leaving Jimmy to drop Kidd for a close two. Cesaro drops Jimmy with an uppercut but Big E. tags himself in for a splash on both guys. He throws Kofi at Cesaro for two but everyone goes to the corner for a series of superplexes, a splash and Los Matadores with a powerbomb into a backstabber for two on Kofi. Natalya (and her very low cut outfit) offer a distraction, allowing Torito to hurricanrana Woods into the barricade.

Natalya puts Torito in the Sharpshooter but Naomi dives on a bunch of people, followed by a Rear View to Natalya. Back in and the Midnight Hour gets two on Fernando with Jimmy and Cesaro making a save. The referee actually says Big E. isn’t legal (Lawler: “How would he know?”) with Fernando but Kidd tags himself in anyway, only to have Big E. throw him and Fernando onto his shoulders at the same time.

Kofi kicks Kidd and knees Cesaro in the corner but Los Matadores get in there to knock Cesaro to the floor. The announcers are already calling this a car wreck. A six man Tower of Doom puts everyone not named Uso down, leaving Jimmy to splash Big E. but Cesaro runs in to steal the pin and retain at 10:00.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as good as last year but it was a completely different kind of match. This was a huge mess with everyone all over the place and no flow to the match after the five minute mark. That being said, at least they went with the right choice for the winners and Natalya got to keep looking awesome. Not a great match or anything but it was fast paced and fun, which is what something like this should be doing.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

The Miz, Curtis Axel, Ryback, Fandango, Adam Rose, Zack Ryder, Jack Swagger, Titus O’Neil, Darren Young, Big Show, Kane, Erick Rowan, Damien Mizdow, Sin Cara, Goldust, Heath Slater, Mark Henry, Konnor, Viktor, Hideo Itami, Cesaro, Jimmy Uso, Diego, Fernando, Bo Dallas, Kofi Kingston, Big E., Xavier Woods, Tyson Kidd, Alex Riley

There are some unannounced people in there, including everyone in the opener, but I’m not sure I have everyone included. Axel does the Hogan pose and everyone eliminates him at once. It’s a huge mess to start so it’s really hard to see what’s going on. Itami kicks away at Cesaro and gets a great reaction from the fans. Rose and Fandango eliminate each other and Show chops Itami. Miz and Mizdow go after Riley and get him out without too much of a problem.

Bo Dallas breaks up the Broski Boot and dumps Ryder, only to eliminate himself in celebration. He goes back in anyway so Itami kicks him out again. Kidd and Itami kick it out but Big Show punches Hideo out. So much for NXT meaning anything. Kane dumps Los Matadores and Cesaro throws Sin Cara onto the two of them. Henry throws Kidd onto the pile but Ascension gets together to throw him out.

Ascension goes after Big Show as and actually knock him down but JBL points out the obvious problem that creates. Ryback eliminates Viktor and Konnor at the same time, followed by doing the same to Young and Slater. Titus gets eliminated by Ryback as well but it’s Big Show clotheslining Ryback down before knocking out Swagger. New Day triple teams Big Show but he eliminates all of them with ease. We’re down to Jimmy Uso, Rowan, Big Show, Cesaro, Kane, Ryback, Goldust, Miz and Mizdow.

Things finally slow down until Big Show eliminates Rowan (were you expecting anything else?) and Ryback dumps Goldust. Kane breaks up a Shell Shock to Big Show and chokeslams Miz and Mizdow. Cesaro hangs on and slides back in to slam Kane out for a big reaction. Show tosses Jimmy and it’s Cesaro vs. Big Show just like last year. This time though Big Show escapes the slam and throws Cesaro out. Instead it’s Ryback spinebustering Show as we’re down to Ryback, Big Show, Miz and Mizdow.

Show counters the Meat Hook and throws out Ryback, leaving Show to smile at the only two left. The fans cheer for Mizdow, who FINALLY tells Miz no. Miz tries to talk him down and yells at him as Big Show just stands around for two minutes while they argue. Miz goes after Big Show and gets eliminated to a big reaction, only to turn around and see Big Show.

JBL keeps harping on Big Show never winning a battle royal in WWE but Mizdow skins the cat to get back inside. He hammers away but gets taken down by a shoulder. Mizdow avoids a charge to send Show to the apron but Show grabs him by the throat. A guillotine choke looks to do the same ending as the 2004 Royal Rumble but Show shoves him off and wins at 18:11.

Rating: D+. Good grief man really? I mean REALLY? Their big idea is to FINALLY turn Mizdow to a hug…..screw sarcasm. I’m sick of Big Show, I’m sick of him getting pushed, I’m sick of WWE thinking he’s interesting because he’s big, and I’m sick of his old body getting these big moments because he was there in the Attitude Era with his stupid country sounding song. Thanks for all the work Mizdow. Maybe you’ll get a better push if you grow a foot and turn 44.

Aloe Blacc (I haven’t heard of him either) sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video features LL Cool J talking about how universal the world has become with everyone being connected. However, one thing stays the same: us. People come together and feel a connection between themselves. J talks about some great moments in Wrestlemania and says these generations have come together for this night. Kind of a far cry from the huge party down the streets of New Orleans.

Intercontinental Title: Bad News Barrett vs. Stardust vs. R-Truth vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Luke Harper

Ladder match with Barrett defending. Pat Patterson is here to put the belt up, which makes sense as he’s the first Intercontinental Champion and had his greatest fame in this area. Ziggler seems to have braided his hair, Stardust has a cape and Ambrose gets the loudest pop. Dean hits the ring and the brawl is on in a hurry. Truth flip dives onto Barrett and Ambrose but Stardust dives onto all three.

Harper throws Ziggler outside too and hits a big suicide dive. Not to be out done, Dean climbs a ladder for a flying elbow drop to the pile. Truth is up first and goes for the belt but Barrett cleans house with a ladder of his own. Bryan comes in with some running dropkicks to crush Stardust into the ladder into Barrett in the corner but Harper throws the ladder at Daniel’s head. Harper gets tied upside down in the ladder and Bryan fires off some YES Kicks. Apparently being a former World Champion makes you immune to falling ladders.

Ziggler and his hair of doom comes back in with a superkick to Daniel before getting into a climbing contest with Dean. Barrett pulls both guys down before Stardust knocks all three of them down and crushes Ambrose’s legs in the ladder. Stardust goes outside and pulls out the, I quote, Exo-Atmospheric Star Bird. In other words, a ladder with glitter on the sides. That’s fine with Barrett who rips a rung off and beats Stardust with it because I guess he likes black ladders.

We get a stepladder thrown in and Harper sends Dean face first into the ladder in the corner. It’s time for the Terry Funk helicopter spot but Truth drop toeholds him down to break it up. Truth brings in the big ladder but can’t find the middle of the ring, allowing Barrett and Stardust to climb up with Bad News superplexing him down. Dean shoves Bryan and Ziggler’s ladder down before hitting the rebound clothesline to Harper.

That’s fine with Luke as he powerbombs Dean over the top and through a bridged ladder at ringside. Dolph puts Harper in the sleeper but Luke climbs anyway, only to fall backwards to crush Ziggler again. Ziggler is up first though and makes a fast attempt, only to get pulled into a Bull Hammer. Stardust and Truth get one as well but it’s Bryan making the save, only to have Ziggler and Barrett pull down. Back up and the running knee puts Bad News down but Ziggler sprints up the ladder for a slugout. The belt starts swaying but it turns into a headbutt exchange. It’s Ziggler going down though and Bryan wins at 13:55.

Rating: B. Total mess for the most part here but Bryan winning is the smart move. The guy is still one of the most popular guys on the roster and hopefully they’re not going to give him the losing streak. Maybe this makes it the wrestler’s title again, which would be the best thing they could do with the belt. Really good opener here with the right ending to top it off. Harper looked great here too and is a star in the making if they ever figure out how to use him.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins with a different twist: both guys have been called the future but now Orton might be surpassed. Then they go with the stupid story of Orton attacking the Authority, then joining the Authority, then attacking them again. It never made sense before and it doesn’t now.

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Orton has elbow pads again. Some headlocks get us nowhere so Rollins does a standing backflip, only to eat a dropkick. After a quick chase on the floor, Rollins stomps away in the corner but Orton takes his head off with a clothesline. The RKO is broken up by a Stooges distraction, earning them a double elevated DDT onto the floor to get us down to one on one. It takes too much time though and Rollins nails a suicide dive to take Orton out.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Rollins takes Orton down with a running splash in the corner. An early Curb Stomp attempt is countered into a powerslam followed by a t-bone suplex. Another elevated DDT is countered though and Rollins kicks him to the floor for an Asai Moonsault. Back in and Orton’s superplex is countered but he backdrops Rollins to break up superbomb attempt.

Rollins rolls through a high cross body for two but now the elevated DDT connects. The RKO is countered into the low superkick but Rollins tries a standing Sliced Bread #2, only to walk into the RKO for a very close near fall. That’s not a move you see kicked out of often (outside of a John Cena match of course). The Stooges come in to break up the Punt and take RKOs, setting up a Curb Stomp for another close two. Rollins misses the Phoenix Splash but tries another Curb Stomp, only to be LAUNCHED into the air for the RKO and the pin at 13:35.

Rating: B. Not quite the show stealer it could have been, but man alive that was one heck of an RKO. I was thinking they were going to do the Phoenix Splash into the RKO but that would have been a bit too far. The ending was sweet though and it’s the second really good match in a row to start things off. Orton winning is surprising, but we might not be done with Rollins tonight.

Ronda Rousey is here.

We recap HHH vs. Sting with the on the Authority being corrupt before changing to HHH just wanting to end Sting’s legacy.

Sting vs. HHH

Sting is played out by a Japanese drum group. HHH one ups him with scenes from the new Terminator movie, a shot from the Terminator’s view, and an army of Terminators on stage. HHH is in Terminator attire and Arnold Schwarzenegger himself appears on the screen to say it’s time to play the game. Sting shouldn’t be scared. After all, he knows Robocop. In an added stipulation, you can only win by pinfall or submission. Sting is in his singlet instead of a t-shirt.

After a 45 second staredown, it’s time for the first lockup with Sting shouldering him down. HHH does the same and throws out a crotch chop. Sting is right back up with a dropkick and HHH is stunned. The facebuster is no sold but HHH bails from a Scorpion attempt. Sting follows him out and gets sent hard into the steps to give HHH his first advantage. Back in and HHH starts on the ribs before putting on a chinlock. That goes as far as you would expect before HHH gets two off a spinebuster. We hit the chinlock again but Sting counters into the Deathlock.

Cue the New Age Outlaws and X-Pac (remember no DQ). Sting fights them off with ease and throws HHH to the floor before dives off the top to take DX down! Back in and the Pedigree connects for two with the fans not really buying that as a major threat just yet. It’s sledgehammer time but cue Hall, Nash and Hogan to make it about the Monday Night Wars again. You know, because Sting was SO into the Black and White.

The Death Drop gets two on HHH and we hit a long Deathlock as everyone fights at ringside (with Nash going down and holding his leg, which would be one heck of a rib). Shawn Michaels runs in with Sweet Chin Music to break it up but Sting gets up at two. Gunn hands HHH the sledgehammer but Hall gives Sting the bat. A bat shot to the ribs puts HHH down and another BREAKS THE HAMMER! The Stinger Splash staggers HHH but he comes back with the head of the hammer to knock Sting cold for the pin at 18:35.

Rating: B-. GOOD GRIEF. I was having a great time with the nostalgia until they completely missed the point with the ending. What in the world is the point in bringing Sting in to have him lose? For the sake of doing one more shot at WCW for the Monday Night Wars? That thing that was FIFTEEN YEARS AGO and Vince still isn’t over? The worst part for me was the match was actually rocking before the ending. This was a really fun match until the bad ending, which is way more than I was expecting.

HHH shakes his hand post match. Uh, no. YOU HIT HIM IN THE FACE WITH A HAMMER AFTER COMING OUT WITH AN ARMY OF ROBOTS! NO HE DOES NOT WANT TO SHAKE YOUR HAND!

New series coming to WWE Network: Camp WWE (Rated mature), Jerry Springer’s Too Hot For WWE, a Jackass style show and the new Divas Search.

Daniel Bryan is with Maria Menunos (in a Bushwhackers shirt) when Pat Patterson, Roddy Piper (with a kiss to the head), Ricky Steamboat and Ric Flair come up to congratulate him. A Woo-off ensues until Bret Hart comes in to shake Bryan’s hand and starts a YES chant. Cue Ron Simmons and you know the rest.

Skyler Gray performs the theme song. I’ll use this break to say this show has rocked so far and is WAY better than I was expecting coming in.

Paige/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins

No recap video but it’s about the Bellas being celebrities and AJ/Paige being themselves. Paige (with blue highlights) takes Nikki down to start but gets caught in an Alabama Slam for an early two. Off to Brie for a front facelock before knocking AJ off the apron. The BRIE MODE running knee to the face gets two for Brie before Nikki comes in with a spinebuster. Paige fights back but there’s still no AJ to tag. Instead she just dives off the apron with a flip to take out both Bellas and now the hot tag brings in AJ.

A quick tornado guillotine onto the top rope sets up a high cross body but Nikki rolls through for two of her own. Nikki lifts her up for an electric chair but AJ spins out into a DDT which was slightly botched but looked good enough. Brie breaks up the Black Widow but Nikki’s big forearm only gets two. Paige sends Brie into the steps and the Black Widow makes Nikki tap at 6:40.

Rating: C+. Well that happened. It was a step above most Divas matches but this really didn’t do anything special. Like I said coming into this match, if there’s nothing on the line, this doesn’t mean much. I’m pretty sure AJ has made Nikki tap before, so this really doesn’t mean anything. Decent match but it certainly didn’t knock anything out of the park. The time didn’t do it any favors though.

Hall of Fame video.

The Class of 2015 is presented. Butch is on crutches but still does the arm wacking.

We recap John Cena vs. Rusev. Cena passed out in the Accolade last month but he choked Rusev out to get a rematch. This is firmly about the USA vs. Russia and Cena wanting to bring the title back home.

US Title: Rusev vs. John Cena

Lana is back and carrying the title, flanked by Russian soldiers carrying the Russian flag. Rusev RIDES OUT IN A TANK to the Russian national anthem. Cena counters with an American theme with various Presidents talking about American exceptionalism but just walks out with the fans singing “John Cena sucks” in time to his music ala the Raw after Wrestlemania last year. Rusev insists that his big match intro is first and Cena stares a hole through him.

Rusev scores with an early spinwheel kick for two and throws Cena around with a suplex. He stops to get the Russian flag though and Cena gets fired up, meaning it’s time to start his finishing sequence. The AA doesn’t work though and Rusev gets two off a spinning belly to back suplex. Rusev gets the same off a spinning Rock Bottom but his superplex is countered for a top rope Fameasser. The fans start chanting for Lana but get shut down as Cena gets two off a tornado DDT.

Rusev comes back with a knee to the head and an Alabama Slam (Russian for “TELL HER THAT’S HOW IT’S DONE!”) for two. Cena takes him down with the STF but Lana throws her shoes in for some reason (that was a real, ahem, heel move) as Rusev makes the ropes. He slams Cena down again and goes up for a pretty good looking top rope headbutt and two more.

The Accolade doesn’t work so Cena gets up, jumps at the ropes like a Lionsault but catches Rusev in a Stunner of all things for two. Rusev shrugs it off and puts on the Accolade but Cena gets to his feet and rams Rusev into the corner. The STF goes on but Lana offers a distraction, only to have Rusev accidentally knock her down, setting up the AA for the pin at 14:43.

Rating: B-. Good match but a bit below their previous match and not exactly the emotion they were going for. They hit all the big points but Cena winning was kind of just there instead of having a big impact. I’m thinking more about that Stunner than anything else, but it’s nice to see Cena with a midcard title and taking a backseat to the World Title. Not that he doesn’t belong in the title scene, but this is refreshing.

Post match Rusev yells at Lana and leaves.

It’s 9:30 and we have two matches left. Those are going to have to go a long time to make this fit. It’s possible that that’s a stretch.

Wrestlemania XXXII is in Dallas on April 3, 2016.

The pre-show panel talks for a bit and recaps the two matches before the show started.

Here are Stephanie and HHH to announce the new attendance record: 76,976. Stephanie talks about being at Wrestlemania I to watch her friend Andre the Giant (my goodness let it go Steph) slam Big John Studd. She takes credit for the evolution of WWE because this company has grown under her leadership. HHH says he beat Sting tonight but he also beat everyone who bet against them. It’s like he beat everyone here tonight and millions more around the world. He owned Sting and every superstar and Diva back there. They own the people too and you know what that means.

Cue the Rock for a huge ovation. Stephanie: “Ok you’re happy to see him. Can you be quiet now?” Rock says the Authority doesn’t own the people or the Rock because he’s an East Bay boy (meaning from this area of California). HHH’s options are to go dress up like Terminator again or we can have a Wrestlemania moment right here, right now. HHH remembers beating Rock in most of their matches so he has nothing to prove. Rock left his heart in San Francisco but HHH left his balls in Connecticut.

Stephanie gets in his face and says Rock is trying to get the fans to cheer for him because he knows without the McMahons, there is no Rock. She brings up Rock’s father and grandfather but the fans chant for Shane. Rock says Stephanie can run her mouth about the McMahons and the Johnsons, but she wouldn’t be in power without McMahon’s Johnson. Stephanie slaps him in the face and asks if he’s going to hit her.

Rock actually leaves as Stephanie still won’t shut up, so Rock goes over to……Ronda Rousey. Fans: “RONDA’S GONNA KILL YOU!” Rock says he would never hit a woman, but Rousey would be happy to. Stephanie says they’re friends but Ronda just stares at her. See, this is Stephanie’s ring so she’s not scared of Ronda. Ronda says any ring she steps into is hers so make her leave.

Stephanie still won’t shut up so Rock warns her about the look on Rousey’s face. “That look means she’s about to reach down your throat and play jump rope with your Fallopian tubes.” HHH remembers that he’s here and says that’s the last thing Rock is saying about Stephanie.

The fight is on and Rock hammers away before Rousey takes HHH down as well. Stephanie pulls back for the slap but Rousey catches the arm….and lets her go as Stephanie screams in pain. Rock says that’s the Wrestlemania moment of the night. WAY longer than it needed to be and Rousey didn’t get nearly enough heat off Stephanie but she looked at home in the ring.

Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker

No recap but Bray keeps the awesome entrances going with zombie scarecrows that come to life as he passes them. Bray sprained his ankle earlier in the night so he might not be moving like usual. The sun is still partially out so the entrances are nowhere near as ominous as usual. Undertaker has some hair again and looks similar to how he did back in 2002. Bray says all of this is his now and charges into a boot to the face before the bell.

The driving shoulders put Bray down again and Old School connects, only to have Bray nail him with a clothesline. Another clothesline puts Undertaker over the top but he pulls Bray outside. The apron legdrop has Bray in even more trouble as it’s almost all Undertaker early. Back in and Snake Eyes looks to set up the running boot but Bray takes him down with the running cross body. The running splash in the corner gets two and we hit the chinlock.

Undertaker is dragged over to the corner as Bray goes outside for a big running charge into the steps, possibly sending Undertaker’s head into the post. Back in and Bray goes to pick him up but gets caught in Hell’s Gate. Undertaker can’t quite get it locked in though and some right hands get Bray out. A release Rock Bottom and the backsplash get two and Undertaker is rocked.

Sister Abigail is countered into a chokeslam and the Tombstone gets two. Another Tombstone is countered into Sister Abigail for two. Bray Spiders up but Undertaker sits up and just stares at him, making Bray fall back to the mat in an unintentionally funny moment. The look basically said “Boy, what in God’s name do you think you’re doing?” Bray wins a slugout but takes too long mocking Undertaker, allowing Sister Abigail to be countered into another Tombstone for the pin at 15:06.

Rating: B. That sitout to break the spider walk was great but the match worked really well too. This really makes me think that last year was mostly due to the concussion, as this was much closer to the (still overrated) Punk match two years ago. Bray isn’t going to die because of this, but he needs a major win or a big feud soon. Undertaker winning was pretty much the only option, especially since he can still go this well. It wasn’t a masterpiece, but it was more than acceptable.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar. To keep it short, Brock is a monster that can’t be beaten but Reigns says he can do it. There isn’t much more to it than that.

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock is defending of course and Reigns doesn’t get the best reaction in the world. Reigns goes right for him but gets driven into the corner and thrown down with a German. The F5 from a bloody Lesnar connects in 31 seconds but he doesn’t cover. Brock throws him down again and Reigns looks stunned. He elbows out of another German and the fans are all over him. Brock no sells some clotheslines and throws Reigns with another German.

Reigns smiles up at him and shoves Brock’s face. Brock: “SUPLEX CITY!” Another comeback is countered with the fifth German of the match but Roman keeps smiling at him. Number six has Reigns in even more trouble and Brock drapes him across the top rope. The fans say this is awesome and Brock drives Reigns off the apron and into the barricade. As they come back in, Reigns scores with a knee to the face and fires some kicks to the chest to nothing but boos.

Brock catches a kick though and just BLASTS Reigns with a clothesline to send him back outside. Back in and another suplex sends Reigns flying as Brock seems to like the blood on his face. Now Reigns looks to have some blood in his mouth too. Brock belly to bellies him over the ropes and back inside, followed by the second F5 for two. There go Brock’s gloves and he slaps Reigns in the face a few times. Reigns starts laughing again so Brock throws him down with two more Germans. A third F5 only gets two and Brock is a combination of livid and shocked.

They head outside again and Brock goes hard into the post to really bust him open. He beats the count back in at nine and Reigns is smiling again. Now the Superman Punch connects but he doesn’t go down. A second puts him down in the corner on one knee but the third misses, only to have Reigns counter the German. Reigns headbutts him (hooray for racial stereotypes!) and nails the third Superman Punch followed by the spear but Lesnar stumbles to the corner. A second spear gets two and Reigns is stunned. I totally bought that as the finish.

Brock catches a third spear in the fourth F5 AND HERE COMES ROLLINS! He cashes in right now and I think we have a triple threat! Rollins kicks Reigns to the floor and connects with the Curb Stomp but loads up a second, allowing Lesnar to counter into the F5. Reigns spears Lesnar down but Rollins Curb Stomps Reigns to win the title at 16:43!

Rating: B+. YES! I’ve wanted Rollins to win the title for the better part of a year now and this is the PERFECT way to pay it off. They keep Lesnar looking like a killer, Reigns looks strong and above all else, ROLLINS IS THE WORLD CHAMPION! They were running into a problem with Lesnar as champion: you can only see him squash people for so long before it stops being entertaining. Let him go back to the big featured match and keep him away from the title (or turn him face) and let Rollins be the top star as he should be. I’m thrilled with this and couldn’t be happier. Great choice for an ending to a great show.

Overall Rating: A. We’ll file this under WHERE THE HECK DID THIS COME FROM??? I had a blast with this show and couldn’t be happier if I tried. Above all else, there were no bad matches on the whole card. Not a single one. The worst thing all night was a too long Rock vs. HHH segment to set up a huge match next year and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m still on a high from that ending and might be overrating the show, but this was a great night all around.

I need to give credit to the entrances too. These were on fire all night and the best thing about them was how much more of a spectacle they made the show. Yeah it’s cool to see them walk down a ramp, but having a tank, robots or a Japanese band (what was up with that?) makes it feel like you’re seeing something special.

I can’t believe how much I liked this show after dreading what I felt was coming. The best part about it though is the renewed faith in the company. Yeah, the build sucked, but they NAILED the show (save for one or two questionable booking moves) and the whole thing was just a blast all around. I had a great time with this and didn’t get bored once, save for a lame concert but we’ll ignore that for now. Really good show and a high quality all night, with the worst match being a totally watchable Divas tag. Loved it and I can’t believe how good of a time I had watching, especially the ending.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Dolph Ziggler, Luke Harper, Stardust, R-Truth, Dean Ambrose and Bad News Barrett – Bryan pulled down the title

Randy Orton b. Seth Rollins – RKO

HHH b. Sting – Sledgehammer to the face

AJ Lee/Paige b. Bella Twins – Black Widow to Nikki

John Cena b. Rusev – Attitude Adjustment

Undertaker b. Bray Wyatt – Tombstone

Seth Rollins b. Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar – Curb Stomp to Reigns

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestlemania XXX
Date: April 6, 2014
Location: Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 75,167
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is a special one for me and I’m glad that it was the other requested redo. I was in the stadium for this, marking my first ever Wrestleamania live. In case you’re really new at this, the show is all about Daniel Bryan, who will be facing HHH for a spot in the main event. He’s been riding on the strength of the YES Movement for months now and this is the grand finale. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Real Americans vs. Los Matadores

The Usos are defending and this is under elimination rules. Zeb Colter introduces the Real Americans (Cesaro/Jack Swagger, which feels like it’s from forever ago). On the other hand, JBL wants to eat El Torito. Just in case you needed both sides of the spectrum there. I also forgot how much I miss the Siva Tao and the Usos’ theme. They’re just cool. Axel and Jey get things going as the fans chant WE THE PEOPLE. JBL gets in his own way by saying Colter is the greatest hero to be in New Orleans since Andrew Stonewall Jackson in 1814. You history buffs know how bad that sounds.

Axel runs Jey over with a clothesline and it’s already off to Ryback, who feels like a relic despite being in the company over two years after this. Ryback runs him over and bangs on his own chest but Diego tags himself in to cut things off. Why you would do that isn’t clear but never let that get in the way of a tag. Diego shrugs off the Usos’ double elbow and gets in an OLE! Somehow he’s still employed to this day so how can I mock him?

Cesaro tags himself in this time and the fans certainly seem to approve. A jumping back elbow puts Swagger down and Diego knocks him to the floor. The Real Americans, Ryback and the Usos are sent outside so Los Matadores him stereo dives. Axel won’t let Torito dive but Los Matadores catch him on top, allowing Torito to drive Axel onto the pile. Back in and the Patriot Lock makes Diego tap at 5:40 to get us down to three.

Axel tags himself in and snaps Jack’s neck across the top rope before running Jimmy over. Ryback gets two off a delayed vertical suplex and some knees to the back keep Jimmy in trouble. We hit the chinlock (notice the REST HOLD sign in the crowd because Wrestlemania fans think they’re rather intelligent) for a bit until Ryback is sent shoulder first into the post.

That’s enough to bring in Jey for the pop up Samoan drop on Axel. Swagger cuts him off with his belly to belly powerslam for two and it’s Ryback snapping off a string of spinebusters. The Meat Hook drops Swagger but Cesaro beaks up the Shell Shock. Cesaro isn’t done as it’s Swiss Death into the Neutralizer to eliminate Ryback and Axel at 11:47.

The fans are behind the Real Americans as we’re down to two teams. A double dive takes the Americans out but Cesaro pulls Jimmy out of the air with a backbreaker for two. It’s too early for the Swing though as Jey tags himself in. That’s fine with Cesaro, who uppercuts his head off too. Swagger grabs the Patriot Lock but Jimmy makes a save. Swiss Death drops Jimmy but Jey is back up with a Samoan drop to put everyone down. The Americans are sent into each other and it’s a double superkick into a double Superfly Splash to Cesaro to retain the titles at 16:13.

Rating: B+. Now THAT is how you do a Kickoff Show match. It was fast paced, it was energetic, the fans were into it (because the fans were already in the stadium and the wrestlers weren’t performing in front of a bunch of empty seats and 500 people) and it was a lot of fun. This match is really great stuff and it had everyone fired up for Wrestlemania. No complaints here and a heck of a performance.

Post match Swagger yells at Cesaro and blames him for the loss. Colter tells Jack to calm down but it’s a Patriot Lock to Cesaro instead. Zeb wants a handshake but Cesaro swings Jack, breaking up the team and making the fans cheer him even more. This should have been the start of a rocket push for Cesaro but it just never clicked for a variety of reasons.

The opening video starts with a man standing on a dark street when a marching band comes in. The voiceover says someone once said a good time starts when we lose track of time it is. “And man oh man, have we lost track of time.” The street fills up with people (and wrestlers, with the Bellas and their signature dance prominently featured) in a Mardi Gras style party with a Wrestlemania highlight package, both historical and modern, airing at the same time. This one didn’t click with me at first but it’s grown on me a lot over the years and now it’s amazing.

As odd as it may seem, the most exciting part of the night is the short stretch between the end of the opening video and the pyro going off. You know it’s coming and it’s just a few seconds away. That’s such a sweet feeling.

Cole: “This is Wrestlemania. Then, now and forever.”

We waste no time in introducing the host of Wrestlemania: Hulk Hogan. Well if you insist. At a milestone show like this, it would have been criminal to not have the most important man in the show’s history front and center. You can tell the fans are ALL over this as they’re losing it over every look he gives the camera. “Well let me tell you something brother” has them even more rabid and I was certainly one of them.

We get the infamous line of Hogan calling it the Silverdome (To this day I still believe that was intentional. Hogan is the oldest player in the business and what’s the big thing that people remember from this? Him slipping up on the line. Then you laugh and chuckle because it’s goofy, and Hogan looks funny in retrospective. That’s the kind of thing he would do.) and not getting why the fans are a little confused. Hogan recaps the first Wrestlemania and messes up the location again.

This time reality sets in and he makes the correction, saying he was thinking about bodyslamming Andre the Giant. Hogan promising more Wrestlemania moments, and you never know when one of those will happen. Then the glass shatters, and the place goes coconuts. I’ve seen a lot of wrestling and it takes a lot to surprise me, but I lost it at this point. This was special and WWE knew what they had here, which is why this is one of the best moments they’ve done in a very long time.

Austin hits all four corners and does a quick staredown for a very cool image. It’s good to be back here at the SILVERDOME and Austin even praises Hogan for everything he did at Wrestlemania I-X (he wasn’t at X but I can live with it here). Austin brings up the two of them wanting to protect their legacies before shaking Hogan’s hand and saying he respects Hogan and everything he’s done for the business. He hits the catchphrase…..and here’s the Rock just in case this wasn’t amazing enough already.

Rock takes his sweet time getting to the ring (it’s a four hour show so it’s acceptable) and even shows off the goosebumps. After hugs and posing, we pause for the completely appropriate THIS IS AWESOME chant. Rock says all five of his senses are on fire because you can see and hear the people, taste it and feel it and OF COURSE you can smell it because FINALLY, the Rock has come back to Wrestlemania. Which means, the three of them have finally come back to the SUPERdome. That means a SUPERDOME chant and thankfully Hogan takes it in stride.

Rock talks about seeing his good friend and his childhood hero, who are the biggest names in the history of the WWE. He’s faced them both at Wrestlemania and they’ve both had an incredible impact on that locker room. Tonight, someone is going to come out here and fight in the name of hustle, loyalty and respect (fans aren’t happy) and that doesn’t happen if Hogan hadn’t promised to say his prayers and take his vitamins. Tonight, someone is going to come out here and rise against the Authority (pause for YES chant) and that doesn’t happen if a bald headed SOB didn’t cross the boss.

Those are facts, just like so many WWE fans having birthdays nine months after Wrestlemania. It’s because of Rock you see. Rock: “Just wait for January. A lot of Rock Babies running around.” Rock even throws out some Wrestlemania rhyming before catchphrases are spoken (with Hogan making sure to say SUPERdome) and beer is consumed. I was ready to go home at this point because this couldn’t have been done better no matter who they brought out. This was special, and that’s how you start a show this important.

Oh yeah. We have three and a half hours left.

We recap HHH vs. Daniel Bryan with the incredible Monster video. The idea is that Bryan has fought his way up the card because this is all that he’s ever wanted to do. Bryan kept fighting his way up, eventually winning the World Title. HHH and Stephanie McMahon, the Authority, didn’t want someone so small and plain being the face of the WWE.

Less than five minutes after becoming champion, HHH then cost him the title, setting up a major feud. The fans would have none of this though and hijacked nearly every show, chanting for Bryan and the YES Movement all night long. Bryan knew he would have to beat HHH once and for all at Wrestlemania, but that’s not all. The winner of the match will move on to the main event for the title.

Make no mistake about it: this push and this feud played a major role in changing WWE for years to come, as the fans suddenly realized that they could power their chosen star to the top of the company. I highly, highly recommend you see this video as it’s one of the best videos WWE has ever put together. You might be noticing a trend in that direction so far tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. HHH

Stephanie, in some very revealing shorts, introduces HHH. Now since this is Wrestlemania, HHH appears on a throne with three gorgeous masked women (Charlotte, Sasha Banks and Alexa Bliss) surrounding him. They remove his robe and armor and HHH takes off his skull helmet before the regular music comes on. As usual it’s a lot, but also as usual it’s hard to ignore the three women around him. Dang indeed. Bryan is coming in with a very bad shoulder.

After a minute of staring each other down, Bryan kicks away an offered handshake and gets two off a rollup. Some kicks in the corner have HHH in trouble and the threat of a big kick sends him bailing to the floor. Back in and a hard shoulder to Bryan’s bad shoulder puts him down but it’s a headlock takeover to put HHH down as well. HHH is completely outclassed on the mat so he drives Bryan into the corner as the DANIEL BRYAN chants start up.

A shot to the leg cuts Bryan off again but Bryan is right back up with a tornado DDT off the apron (sloppy, but it did its job) to drop HHH. Bryan follows up with a cannonball off the top to the floor and everyone is down again. Well not Stephanie of course. Like she would ever do what everyone else was doing.

Back in and Bryan gets crotched on top as Stephanie shouts that he’ll never win. They fight outside again and while HHH can’t get the Pedigree onto the announcers’ table, he can drive the shoulder into the table to really take over. Now the real arm work begins with a DDT on the arm and some good old fashioned cranking.

Bryan kicks him away for a second and loads up a suicide dive, only to get punched out of the air to keep HHH in full control. They’re doing a very good job here with the slow beatdown as you don’t want to have Bryan make his comeback too soon. It makes it that much better to give him a beating like this and let it sink in. A crossface chckenwing into a crossface (hold the chickenwing) stays on the arm but Bryan makes the rope. Bryan slugs away and scores with a running forearm, followed by a pair of German suplexes for a pair of two’s.

That’s it for the offense though HHH goes out of the comfort zone with a tiger suplex (what an odd thing to type) to cut Bryan off again. The one suplex worked so well for HHH that he tries the super version, only to get reversed into a sunset bomb. It’s time for the running dropkicks in the corner but a heck of a clothesline turns Bryan inside out (Stephanie: “YEAH!!! WOO!!!”).

This time it’s Bryan popping up with the kick to the head but the Swan Dive hits a raised knee. Why that doesn’t hurt HHH’s knee isn’t clear. Granted he’s too busy going back to the Crossface to care. The grip starts to slip away as Bryan crawls over to the ropes (it’s barely on his forehead) but HHH rolls it back to the middle. Bryan finally switches it over into the YES Lock but a rope is reached. It’s time to get fired up with back to back suicide dives and YES Kicks against the barricade, followed by the missile dropkick back inside.

The shoulder being banged up doesn’t seem to bother Bryan as he nips up for more kicks to the chest. The running knee is countered into a spinebuster though and the Pedigree….gets two, sending the fans right back into their frenzy. JBL and Stephanie are both stunned and a small package for two on HHH makes things even worse. Some more Pedigree attempts are countered so HHH knees him in the head. A third attempt is countered so HHH tries a belly to back suplex. Bryan flips out, lands on his feet, and hits the running knee to go to the main event at 25:55.

Rating: A. Excellent performance and storytelling from both here as Bryan survives everything HHH has to throw at him and wins in the end through pure determination. This was all about HHH being confident that he was the better man coming in and getting frustrated that he couldn’t stop Bryan. You could see the desperation coming in when the Pedigree only got two and there was nothing else he could throw at Bryan.

Also, Stephanie added a lot here with the constant screaming, to the point where you were begging to see her lose. What made it work though was she DID lose and got shown up, a rarity for her. Outstanding stuff here though with everyone doing their thing as well as they could have in a classic match.

Post match Stephanie slaps Bryan for a distraction, allowing HHH to wrap the arm around the post and crush it with a chair. Again: HHH lost his control and is acting like the old savage instead of the corporate boss that he’s become. That’s a nice touch.

New Age Outlaws/Kane vs. Shield

Kane and the Shield both work for the Authority but they’ve been having issues as of late. A few weeks back, Kane sent out the Outlaws and a few other teams to beat Shield down, seemingly going rogue on HHH in the process. Shield comes through the crowd with those thankfully short-lived half masks until Kane INSANELY LOUD pyro interrupts.

Kane and Ambrose slug it out to start with Dean getting the better of it. Reigns comes in to no reaction (oh, it’ll come) and cleans house with the jumping clotheslines and a Samoan drop. The double apron kick hits both Outlaws and everything breaks down in a hurry. Ambrose breaks up a Fameasser attempt on Reigns and there’s a Superman Punch to Gunn.

That leaves Billy all alone so the Outlaws bail, earning a double suicide dive from Rollins and Ambrose. The spear drops Kane and a double spear puts the Outlaws down. It’s a double TripleBomb to the Outlaws (JBL: “There goes the Attitude Era.”) for the double pin at 2:55. Total and complete squash as the Shield has basically turned face already.

Jim Duggan and Sgt. Slaughter are playing with action figures, with DANNY DAVIS refereeing. Ricky Steamboat comes in to challenge….but that’s not happening because Ted DiBiase has bought the toys. I chuckled, though I wonder why Duggan isn’t wearing a shirt. Ron Simmons, cameo, swearing, you get the joke.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Big Show, Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, The Great Khali, Zack Ryder, Drew McIntyre, Heath Slater, Mark Henry, Titus O’Neil, Santino Marella, Brad Maddox, Darren Young, Justin Gabriel, Yoshi Tatsu, David Otunga, Big E, Fandango, The Miz, Jinder Mahal, Rey Mysterio, Tyson Kidd, Goldust, Cody Rhodes, Kofi Kingston, Brodus Clay, Alberto Del Rio, Sheamus, Sin Cara, Xavier Woods, Cesaro, R-Truth

Only Sheamus and Big Show get entrances. One thing WWE is VERY good at is sneaking the people to the ring when something (the legends segment) is on the screen distracting you. I was surprised when the lights came back on and the ring was filled up. Yoshi is out first as there are way too many people in there at once to keep track of much. Cody and Kofi are sent over the top but hang in, resulting in a battle of kicks to the ribs as they hang over the apron. Cool visual if nothing else and they both get back in.

There goes Maddox (still Raw GM at this point) and Khali’s chop gets rid of Clay. Khali is dumped out by a posse and McIntyre gorilla presses Ryder out. 3MB tosses Young but Henry tosses all three of them (including future WWE Champion Jinder Mahal). Show eliminates Henry as the ring is getting a lot less full in a hurry. Sheamus dumps Titus and Santino loads up the Cobra because that’s his one joke and he’s going to use it every chance he can.

The Cobra gets rid of Miz (erg) but Alberto throws Santino out in a replay of the 2011 Rumble. There goes Sandow as you can at least see the mat again. Woods was put out off camera and Big E. powerbombs Gabriel out in a big crash. Otunga is out next as even Lawler is acknowledging the rapid eliminations. Fandango kicks out Big E. (Intercontinental Champion in a miserable reign) and the Fandangoing begins. Unfortunately he spends WAY too much time on the apron, allowing Sheamus to hit about 30 forearms to the chest for an elimination.

Truth gets tossed as well and Show mocks the dancing for an unfunny moment. For some reason Rey goes after Show, greatly pleasing JBL who wants Show to eat him. With Sin Cara eliminated off camera, Kidd is tossed as well and Del Rio enziguris Goldust out. We’re down to Cody, Alberto, Kofi, Ziggler, Sheamus, Big Show, Cesaro and Mysterio. Before I can finish tying that list, Cody gets tossed to get us down to seven. The 619 hits Alberto but Cesaro blocks a second attempt and uppercuts Rey out. JBL: “Good.”

Cesaro LAUNCHES Kofi over the top…but his feet land on the steps for his annual save. I’ve always liked that one. Kofi comes back in for his run of Troubles in Paradise until Cesaro pulls him out of the air for the Swing. Cesaro is so dizzy that he walks into a chokeslam but a Brogue Kick drops Show. A second eliminates Kofi and now it’s Ziggler’s turn to get our hopes up. Thankfully Del Rio superkicks him out, much to the crowd’s annoyance. Give it a few more years and see how much you care.

Ever the nitwit, Del Rio puts Sheamus in the cross armbreaker but Sheamus powers him up, only to tumble over the top for a double elimination. We’re down to Cesaro vs. Big Show and you know who the fans are behind here. Some uppercuts and clotheslines rock Show but he throws Cesaro to the apron. A chop knocks Cesaro out of the air but he PICKS SHOW UP (ala Hogan slamming Andre) and throws him over the top to win at 13:24.

Rating: D+. Nothing special for a battle royal but that’s to be expected with so many people in there at once. Like I said earlier though, there is no excuse for this not to have launched Cesaro to the moon. The fans wanted to see it happen, he has the skills and they gave him a great moment to set it up. Now how could that possibly fail? Putting him with Heyman really was a death sentence as it brings this expectation and there’s no way around it, which ultimately sank him. Great moment here though and that’s at least hope for the future.

Show shakes Cesaro’s hand and leaves. It takes five referees to bring the trophy into the ring so Cesaro lifts it up by himself.

We recap John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt. Bray hadn’t even been around for a year at this point and it’s his first major match after several months of midcarding it. I’m still not sure what the idea here is, but Wyatt started talking about wanting to destroy Cena’s legacy. I think it was supposed to be giving in to Cena’s inner anger or turning to the dark side, but it wound up with Cena being scared of the Wyatts and saying he’d fight anyway. They were really bad about making the intent clear, which could be said about a lot of Wyatt matches.

Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena

Wyatt is played to the ring with a bunch of (I think) voodoo dancers and fire around him for a CREEPY visual. Harper and Rowan are here too with Rowan dragging the rocking chair. What a way to debut at Wrestlemania. Cena’s big entrance? Running to the ring. Wyatt drops to his knees and offers Cena a free shot, allowing Cena to “be the monster”. Cena tells him to get up before grabbing a headlock takeover.

That goes nowhere so an uppercut puts Cena down instead. Some maniacal laughter ensues and Wyatt says Cena doesn’t want to fight him. Bray runs him over with a body block but Cena is right back with the clothesline as he goes into a bit of a frenzy. That makes Bray smile and laugh again so Cena chokes in the corner as you can see the anger on his face. A running big boot (Huh?) drops Wyatt again but he’s right back with the suplex slam (always looks painful).

The fans serenade the two of them with He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands and we hit the sleeper/chinlock to keep Cena down. You don’t chinlock Cena though as he comes back with the ProtoBomb but Bray spiders up to block the Shuffle. That’s still one of the coolest signature spots of its day. A release Rock Bottom gives Bray two and he conducts the fans as the singing begins again. Cena manages to get up top but gets powerbombed out of the air for a sick impact.

A spinning gutbuster gives Bray two and a DDT onto the apron knocks Cena even sillier (take a shot for the announcers reminding us that it’s the hardest part of the ring). The fans sing again, this time with their arms waving and Bray is smart enough to acknowledge them. Cena powers out of a superplex but dives onto Harper and Rowan, despite them barely being a factor so far.

Wyatt sends him into the steps, and says he knows what to do now. Apparently that would be take too much time picking up the steps and getting posted as a result. Cena can’t bring himself to use the steps and gets body blocked for two instead. We pause for more singing and the backsplash misses as a result, meaning the first AA connects for two. Harper and Rowan finally get involved as Rowan offers a distraction so Harper can hit a superkick. Cena rolls outside and drives Harper though the barricade. At least he was justified for once.

Back in and Sister Abigail’s Kiss (kissing didn’t really fit Bray) is countered into the STF but Bray is in the ropes. Sister Abigail’s Kiss gets two and Bray backs into the corner in shock for a good reaction. It’s chair time so Rowan comes in for the distraction but Bray throws the chair to Cena instead. He offers him another free shot to end him but Cena hits Rowan instead. I’m not exactly sure if that makes things better. Not that it matters as Cena reverses Sister Abigail into the AA for the pin at 22:27.

Rating: C. And that’s it for Bray Wyatt being a big deal. For the life of me, I have no idea why Cena needed to win this match and I’m never going to get that. Wyatt didn’t have the big win yet and he had clearly gotten into Cena’s head but then Cena just pins him clean. How does this help anyone? Cena doesn’t need an upper midcard win and Wyatt has his legs cut out from underneath him. Horrible, terrible decision here and the match wasn’t even great in the first place.

Recap of the Hall of Fame ceremony. Undertaker coming out during Paul Bearer’s induction was great.

And now for the class presentation:

Jake Roberts (not much of a reaction)

Mr. T. (that mother….)

Paul Bearer (his son does such a perfect impression)

Carlos Colon (next to no reaction)

Lita (ROAR)

Razor Ramon (another roar)

Ultimate Warrior (The camera guy pulled WAY back in case he ran to the ring. This is so hard to watch now, knowing what was coming just two days later.)

That’s a heck of a class actually.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker. I think you get the idea here: no man can beat the Streak but a Beast might be able to pull it off. During the build, Undertaker stabbed Brock in the hand to show that he was more aggressive, which is rarely a good idea in wrestling. Heyman got in a great line here by saying Brock is the 1 in 21-1. The end of the video is equally awesome with Heyman saying “Eat, sleep, conquer, repeat, eat, sleep, conquer, repeat, eat sleep, conquer….the Streak.” Finally, the lyrics playing over this: “In times all things shall pass away.” They weren’t exactly hiding things.

Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Brock looks downright terrifying here, being as chiseled as I can remember seeing him and giving that stare that guarantees death that only he can pull off. Undertaker’s entrance features a line of caskets with each Streak victim’s name on top. They all light on fire because that’s the kind of thing Undertaker does.

Undertaker hammers away to start but the first suplex takes him down twenty seconds in. That seems to wake him up and a necksnap across the top rope staggers Brock. Back in and Undertaker wraps the arm around the ropes before sending it into the post. It’s weird to see Undertaker this aggressive to start. Old School is broken up with right hands as Cole goes over the history of the Streak. Lesnar misses a charge and posts himself so Undertaker kicks him in the bad arm. There’s the apron legdrop as Brock is in trouble for the first few minutes.

Back in and the chokeslam and F5 are both escaped with Undertaker sending the shoulder into the buckle. A running big boot misses though and Brock sends the leg into the post. Undertaker tries a kick but gets shoved down onto the floor, which may be where he suffers a severe concussion. You can see his eyes looking very messed up and he’s not moving nearly as well all of a sudden. Back in and Brock chokes in the corner and OH YEAH Undertaker is gone. That glossy look on his face is scary stuff and Lesnar stomps away at the leg.

Undertaker gets in an elbow to the jaw but Brock easily shoves him down again. You can see Brock trying to figure out what he can do right now because Undertaker has nothing to give him. Heyman offers a near creepy laugh as Brock forearms Undertaker down again and again. I know it’s not the most thrilling thing in the world but this is about all they can do safely in Undertaker’s condition.

A running DDT puts Lesnar down for a few seconds and Snake Eyes into the big boot (or high boot according to Cole) drop him again. The chokeslam gets two and an F5 gets the same with the latter shocking Brock. A quick Hell’s Gate has Brock in trouble but he muscles Undertaker up for the powerbomb break. Undertaker slaps it on a second time (Heyman: “POWER YOUR WAY OUT! YOU’RE BROCK LESNAR”) and it’s a second powerbomb for another escape.

The Kimura goes on but Undertaker actually reverses into one of his own. Brock VERY carefully takes him down (it’s clear Brock knows Undertaker’s head is hurt) and drives some slow motion shoulders to the ribs. Undertaker stops a charge with a raised boot but Old School is countered into a second F5 for two more, sending Heyman into a fit.

Some German suplexes rock Undertaker but Brock can’t follow up. At least we get an awesome speech from Heyman, saying Undertaker is taking Brock’s legacy away from him. Hey now that’s Cena’s deal (whatever it means). For some reason Brock hammers away in the corner and even stands on the ropes while Undertaker is almost seated in the corner. That means the Last Ride but Undertaker can’t follow up.

The worst Tombstone in recorded history gets two (you could see a good eight inches between Lesnar’s head and the mat) and Undertaker is stunned. He’s fine enough to sit up and try another Tombstone, only to be reversed into the third F5 to end the Streak at 25:11. Heyman makes the segment by going from the cocky grin at two to shock and awe at the pin. And no, this wasn’t changed on the fly and Brock didn’t shoot on Undertaker or whatever other nonsense conspiracy theories you’ll see out there. It was the planned finish and Undertaker got hurt during the match. Nothing more.

Rating: D. We’ll get to the important part here in a minute. This is a match where you have to excuse the performance because of Undertaker’s injury. It’s very clear that he was banged up early on in the match and you can see everything chance in a heartbeat. With the concussion, Lesnar wasn’t able to do much to him and Undertaker was only able to do so much on his own. It’s a bad match, but not because of the two people involved. Disappointing, but understandable given the circumstances.

Now for the 800lb gorilla in the room. There are two schools of thought to the Streak and you could go with either of them. There’s the thought that it never should have ended and could have gone on as the one thing that never happens in WWE. I can live with that. At the same time though, there’s the mentality of it has to end sometime and how can you buy that Undertaker, who hadn’t wrestled in a year, could come back and beat Lesnar in one on one match? I can see that line of thinking as well.

However, if you’re going to break the Streak, it should have been on someone with a lot to gain. Sure Lesnar went on to beat Cena for the title in a very memorable match, but there were others who needed the win WAY more (like Bray Wyatt for example). Lesnar does look like an even bigger deal, but Lesnar already was a big deal. What’s the point in giving him something like this if it doesn’t make that much of a difference?

As for the reaction though….I’ve never seen anything like it. It was like Santa Claus was shot in front of all the children in the world on Christmas Eve. The air was let out of the stadium and there was nothing that could be done. This wasn’t something that happened in wrestling and fans didn’t know how to take it. I saw fans crying and running out of their seats while others begged Hogan to come out here and do something about it. But no, the Streak was over, and there was nothing that could be done. That’s how it went down and really, I think I can live with it.

Should he have kept wrestling? Again, I could see it going either way. On the one hand, he had some good matches after this and I can understand why he wouldn’t want to go out this way. That being said, without the Streak, so much of what Undertaker was is gone. It’s a huge part to take away from him and I’m not sure how much of a point there is to continuing at Wrestlemania with the Streak being broken. It’s a hard question, but I could see why he didn’t want to go out, either this way or at all.

The fans are all stunned (complete with the infamous bug eyed guy in the front row) and it takes a few moments for the official announcement. You’ll hear this compared to Bruno losing the title and really, it’s hard to argue this being on the same level. The 21-1 sign comes on the screen as Lesnar and Heyman leave and the announcers act like they’ve seen a murder.

Undertaker looks up the ramp to see that they’re gone before sitting up as the standing ovation begins. He falls back down again though and closes his eyes on the mat for a bit. There’s another situp and the THANK YOU TAKER chants begin. He gets to his feet (Fan: “YOU SUCK!”) and looks around a bit before going back to one knee and shaking his head. The announcers give him a standing ovation as well until Undertaker slowly walks up the ramp. He leaves the stadium….and collapsed backstage as the concussion really was that bad.

Wrestlemania XXXI is in the Silicon Valley.

Divas Title: Vickie Guerrero Divas Championship Invitational

AJ Lee, Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Aksana, Alicia Fox, Tamina Snuka, Summer Rae, Cameron, Eva Marie, Emma, Layla, Naomi, Natalya, Rosa Mendes

AJ is defending and this is one fall to a finish with only the champ getting an entrance. Vickie, who hates AJ for reasons not important enough to explain, screeches good luck to everyone and we’re ready to go, with everyone in the ring at once. AJ and bodyguard Tamina are shoved into the middle so everyone can beat on her. It’s a big brawl (well duh) and I’m not going to bother trying to keep up with the play by play here.

The Bellas hit a horrible double gutbuster for two on Layla and Natalya stacks up Cameron, Rosa and Fox at the same time. The triple Sharpshooter doesn’t work (partially due to the laws of physics) and it’s a four way cover for a four way near fall. Cameron hits a Codebreaker and snaps her top, which is made worse when Emma puts on the Emma Lock. It’s time for the parade of secondary finishers as they’re trying to get any kind of a reaction here. Brie dropkicks Tamina to the floor and the Bellas hit stereo suicide dives onto the pile (marking the ONLY time I’ve ever thought the Bellas looked cool).

Back in and the twins shove each other, thankfully without wishing the other died in the womb. The Rack Attack gets two on Brie but Alicia comes back in with a good looking tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Nikki. Naomi breaks up the Superfly Splash and we hit the required Tower of Doom spot. AJ grabs the Black Widow on Naomi to retain at 6:50.

Rating: D-. Oh come on how was this going to be anything but a failure? The women’s division was nothing at this point save for AJ and Paige, who would debut the next night (which I called to perfection at least two weeks early). Other than that though, it was a bunch of models trying to be wrestlers and bad action throughout the division. This was a mess, but what were you expecting with fourteen people in there at once?

Mean Gene Okerlund talks to Hulk Hogan (yeah he’s still a thing on here) when Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff come in. Piper COMPLIMENTS Hogan on how good a job he’s doing tonight and says he’s finally over the loss at Wrestlemania I. It eats Orndorff up though, because every day someone tells him about it. How does that make him feel? Gene: “Horrible!” Violence is teased and here’s Mr. T. to even the odds. Pat Patterson, in a referee shirt for the sake of continuity, comes in to say it was thirty years ago. The four of them actually bury the hatchet, though Piper nearly retches as he shake’s Mr. T.’s hand.

Bruno Sammartino, Harley Race, Bob Backlund, Dusty Rhodes and Bret Hart (easily the biggest reaction) are in the front row.

No recap for the main event so we’ll improvise. Orton is the Authority’s hand picked face of the company and was handed the World Title by HHH. Batista won the Royal Rumble to get here. Bryan is in due to winning earlier (in case you decided to skip the opener for some odd reason).

WWE World Title: Randy Orton vs. Batista vs. Daniel Bryan

Orton is defending and is played to the ring by Rev Theory. Bryan still has a horrible arm coming in. Batista tries a Batista Bomb but Bryan hurricanranas him outside in short order. A crank to the arm brings Bryan down though and it’s Batista coming back in for some shoulders to Orton’s ribs. All three head outside with Orton going back first into the apron. It’s already time to go to the announcers’ table but first, Bryan gets knocked down again.

Orton suplexes Batista onto the barricade but it’s Bryan back up with YES Kicks to both of them. The big kick takes out Batista, only to have Orton suplex Bryan onto the bad shoulder for two. Somehow Bryan comes back with the running corner dropkicks to both guys, followed by a top rope hurricanrana to Orton. The fans are back to life, only to have Orton send Bryan outside.

A superplex drops Batista but Bryan is right there with the Swan Dive. Bryan grabs the YES Lock on Orton but here are HHH and Stephanie for the save. The referee gets taken out as well so here’s crooked referee Scott Armstrong to take over. The Batista Bomb gets two on Bryan but a spear only hits post. Bryan has finally had enough of this and kicks Armstrong in the head, followed by a suicide dive to take out Stephanie and HHH.

That’s enough for HHH who grabs the sledgehammer, only to have Bryan take it away and blast him instead. A livid Orton is back in though and sends Bryan into the barricade as Batista comes over to help with the stomping. The tape is pulled off of Bryan’s arm and Orton drills it with the steps.

They load up two announcers’ tables and, after hitting Bryan in the head with a monitor (and some CM PUNK chants, back when they might actually mean something), it’s a Batista Bomb into an RKO (jumping reverse neckbreaker in this case) with Orton’s back landing square on a monitor. I was terrified that he had a major injury but thankfully he gets up pretty quickly. Medics come down to check on Bryan as Lawler makes a good point: why isn’t Batista throwing one of them in the ring and PINNING THEM?

Instead Batista sends Orton into various non-ring things before taking him back inside….for a backdrop to the floor. The hanging DDT off the apron plants Batista as Bryan is being wheeled out. Not so fast though as he fights his way off the stretcher, only to be sent into the steps by Orton. The RKO is countered into a YES Lock but Batista is there fore another save. That just earns Batista a YES Lock of his own with Orton making the save this time. A spear cuts Bryan down and the RKO gets two on Batista in a great false finish.

Orton loads up the Punt but Bryan cuts him off with the running knee. Batista throws Bryan outside and gets two on Orton. There’s the Batista Bomb to Orton but Bryan comes back in with the running knee to Batista. The YES Lock goes on and Batista taps (that’s important because Bryan had showed he could beat Orton before) to FINALLY make Bryan champion at 23:21. Cole: “A MIRACLE ON BOURBON STREET!” I mean, the Superdome isn’t on Bourbon Street but that’s an awesome call.

Rating: B. The wrestling wasn’t the point here (duh) but what was important was nailing the ending, which is exactly what they did here. This match made Bryan look like the giant killer and that’s exactly the point of what was going on here. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions as Bryan fought through everything and won the title that was rightfully his to begin with. It may not be a classic, but the ending was all you could ask for and more.

Bryan celebrates for a LONG time, including the iconic shot with both belts on the announcers’ table, as confetti (of which I have a piece) falls to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. There are some weak spots in there (Undertaker vs. Lesnar stands out like Undertaker’s sore head) but the stuff they nailed, they REALLY nailed. Above all else this is the Daniel Bryan show and with a classic to start and the perfect ending, it’s hard to complain about much. This show felt like it was a spectacle and that’s where WWE shines. Yeah there were some weaker matches, but there was also a twenty five minute segment with Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin and the Rock acting like the biggest stars of all time. I had the time of my life watching this show live and it more than holds up. Outstanding stuff.

Ratings Comparison

Usos vs. Los Matadores vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Real Americans

Original: B

2015 Redo: B

2018 Redo: B+

Daniel Bryan vs. HHH

Original: A

2015 Redo: A

2018 Redo: A

Shield vs. New Age Outlaws/Kane

Original: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

2018 Redo: N/A

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: C+

2015 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: D+

John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt

Original: B

2015 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: C

Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: C+

2015 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: D

Vickie Guerrero Divas Championship Invitational

Original: D+

2015 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D-

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton vs. Batista

Original: A-

2015 Redo: B

2018 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2015 Redo: A-

2018 Redo: A-

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/04/07/wrestlemania-xxx-oh-yeah-i-went-there/

And the 2015 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/03/28/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxx-2015-redo-yes/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXX
Date: April 6, 2014
Location: Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 75,167
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

I haven’t watched this match since I saw it the day after seeing it live in the Superdome last year. This show received rave reviews at the time (including from me) and it’s going to be interesting to see how it holds up a year later. Granted, given how this year’s Wrestlemania has been built up, anything is going to seem like a classic. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Real Americans vs. Los Matadores vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Under elimination rules and the Usos are defending as part of the TWO HOUR preshow. I remember when these things were thirty minutes but that’s the age we live in I guess. These entrances show you how many different paths people can take. Cesaro is in the same place but with a title, Los Matadores are in the exact same spot, the Usos are in the same match minus the belts, Ryback is rebuilding and Curtis Axel got to confront Hulk Hogan on the go home Raw for Wrestlemania. That last part still makes my head shake.

Axel and Jey get things going with the champ grabbing a headlock. The fans chant WE THE PEOPLE as JBL says Colter is the greatest war hero in Louisiana since Andrew “Stonewall” Jackson in 1814. History geeks around the world are shaking their heads (Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson was a Civil War general who wasn’t born until 1824. JBL meant President Andrew “Not A Stonewall” Jackson) as Jey and Axel chop it out. The Real Americans bail to the floor to avoid a tag attempt and Axel drops Jey with a dropkick.

Off to Ryback for some hard shots but Diego tags himself in to go after Jey. The Usos make a tag and it’s Jimmy vs. Diego but they stop for an OLE! Fernando tags himself in for a dropkick to go with his cousin’s legsweep for two on Jimmy. Cesaro tags Jimmy for the biggest pop of the night so far (that might change) and hammers away before bringing in Swagger for a running clothesline. A springboard back elbow scores for Fernando and, amazingly enough, no one cares.

Both Real Americans are sent to the floor with Ryback and the Usos being thrown on top of them so Los Matadores can dive on everyone. Torito gets on the top but Axel grabs him from behind and throws him inside. Axel goes up but Los Matadores catch him in a double electric chair, allowing Torito to cross body him down onto the big pile for a crash. Back in and Swagger throws Diego off the top and puts on the Patriot Lock for the submission elimination.

Jimmy comes in and jack Jack’s jaw but he gets caught in the Patriot Lock as well, only to have Jimmy roll out in a hurry. Axel tags himself in and stomps on the champ before it’s off to Ryback for a delayed vertical. Axel and Ryback take turns on Jimmy in the corner until Ryback slaps on a chinlock. That goes nowhere until Jimmy fights up and makes the tag to Jey as house is cleaned. The running Umaga Attack staggers Axel but Jack breaks up a charge with a belly to belly.

Ryback plants Swagger with a spinebuster but Cesaro breaks up the Shell Shock. The Meat Hook is blocked by Swiss Death and the Neutralizer eliminates Ryback to send the fans into a frenzy. We’re down to the Usos vs. the Real Americans, which is pretty much what everyone was expecting in the first place. The Usos send them to the floor for a big double dive, leaving all four on the outside.

Back in and Cesaro gets two off a backbreaker to Jey but the Swing doesn’t work. Instead it’s off to Jimmy but Swagger comes in off a hot tag, only to have Jey hit a Whisper in the Wind for two. Swagger, with a bloody arm, blocks the running Umaga Attack with the Patriot Lock but Jimmy breaks it up with a superkick, only to walk into Swiss Death. Cesaro and Jimmy get tags but the Americans are whipped into each other, setting up a double superkick to Cesaro, followed by the double Superfly Splash to retain the titles.

Rating: B. This was the perfect way to open a show as the fans are now way into things. It’s a pretty meaningless match, proven if nothing else by how similar this year’s pre-show match will be. At the end of the day, that’s the benefit of a multi-team tag match: let the fans get fired up and have a great time while not wasting anything of note. It’s another reason I’m amazed by how little tag wrestling is used. You can use it for something like this but for some reason it’s almost never done.

Post match Swagger and Cesaro go at it with Jack putting on the Patriot Lock as Colter loses his mind. They break it up but Cesaro Swings him to blow the roof off the place again.

The opening video is set in the streets of New Orleans with a jazz band playing. There’s a great opening line of “A good time occurs when we forget what time it is, and man have we lost track of time.” Wrestlers fill up the streets for something like a Mardi Gras parade with shots of famous Wrestlemania entrances, such as Shawn at XII and Heenan/Andre at III, superimposed over the streets. It’s a REALLY cool video and fits the theme of how big a night this really is.

There’s something so amazing looking about the sea of people in the Superdome to watch the show.

We open big with the special host Hulk Hogan, which is really the only way to open a major anniversary Wrestlemania. First line: “Well let me tell you something brother!” Oh yeah he’s got us in the palm of his hand and he knows it. He was there at Wrestlemania I in Madison Square Garden but now it’s thirty years later at Wrestlemania XXX, right here in the Silverdome. I thought he flubbed that line on purpose and I still think it now. Think about it: how many times has that been referenced since, meaning people keep thinking of Hogan? There’s nothing wrong with it if it’s true but I’m almost certain he did it intentionally.

Hogan talks about how there are Wrestlemania moments and surprises, and you never know when one of those moments is going to happen…….CUE GLASS SHATTER! I’ve been to a lot of wrestling shows in my day and I’ve never freaked out more than hearing that sound. That was the moment when you knew you were in for something very, very special that night.

Austin hits all four corners and you can tell he’s fired up to be here. He says it’s good to be back here at the Silverdome and asks if the fans want to see him open a can on Hogan. They were sitting next to each other at the Hall of Fame and Austin has seen every thing Hogan has done over the years, from Wrestlemania I (WHAT!) through Wrestlemania X (which Hogan wasn’t at). Austin appreciates all of Hogan’s accomplishments in this business and shakes his hand. He talks about how tonight is about the current stars…..and here’s the Rock.

After taking his sweet time getting to the ring, Rock and Austin hug for old times’ sake. Fans: “THIS IS AWESOME!” Rock says all five of his senses are on fire and FINALLY he has come back……to the SUPERdome! He looks across the ring and sees the two biggest names in the history of the WWE and he’s had the privilege of facing both of them at Wrestlemania.

They’ve had a huge impact on his career and on everyone’s in the back as well. Tonight Cena is coming out here to fight for hustle, loyalty and respect, but he doesn’t do that if no one told him to say his prayers and take his vitamins 29 years ago. Tonight someone is fighting against the Authority (pause for a YES chant) but that doesn’t happen unless a bald headed SOB didn’t have the guts to fight against the boss.

Rock wants to know why so many babies are born just nine months after Wrestlemania? They’re Rock Babies! Rock gives us a great rhyme about the history of Wrestlemania with the final line saying that everyone else would have lost to the three of them (look it up because just reading it doesn’t do it justice). Everyone hits their catchphrases, beer is consumed and all three songs are played. JBL: “My life is complete.”

Overall Rating: A+. Well that was…..oh dang we’ve got three and a half hours to go. I had my money’s worth right here already.

We get the AWESOME recap video for HHH vs. Daniel Bryan. If there’s one thing this show got right (and there are about a hundred of them), it’s the big recap videos. This is set to Monster by Imagine Dragons and shows Bryan going from an NXT rookie up to the US Champion and then into the main event.

At Summerslam 2013, Bryan pinned John Cena completely clean but guest referee HHH knocked him out so Orton could cash in Money in the Bank. HHH didn’t want Bryan as the face of WWE because he didn’t fit the mold, but Bryan spent the next several months trying to prove himself and get the title back. Eventually Bryan wanted a match with HHH but couldn’t get the boss to agree. With nothing else left, Bryan took Raw hostage and forced HHH to agree to let them have a match here at Wrestlemania. The winner is put into the World Title match main event.

Stephanie, showing so much leg that Stacy Keibler would tell her to tone it down, introduces HHH. Naturally HHH has a golden throne with three good looking women (played by NXT girls Charlotte, Sasha Banks and Alexa Bliss) to take off his mask and armor. To be fair, this is pretty cool.

HHH vs. Daniel Bryan

Winner goes to the main event title match. For some reason, Bryan’s entrance is never actually announced, likely due to not being able to hear the announcer over the INSANE YES chants. Cole says this is a mismatch on paper, even though Bryan is a multiple time World Champion coming in. HHH would be the heavy favorite but it’s not that big. Bryan is coming in with a bad shoulder after HHH attacked it a few weeks back on Raw. Stephanie kisses HHH for an awesome heel moment.

We start with a long staredown as the fans are about 300% behind Bryan. HHH’s offer of a handshake is kicked away and Bryan gets a quick rollup for two. That would be one heck of a way to open the show. The threat of a big kick sends HHH outside but he comes back in to go after the arm. Bryan flips out and hits a dropkick to the ribs before taking him down with a headlock. Stephanie: “COME ON BABY!” They hit the mat for a nice technical sequence until HHH takes him into the corner and wraps the bad arm around the ropes.

Bryan escapes an attempt at sending his arm into the post before hitting a running tornado DDT off the apron to the floor. As HHH gets up, Bryan dives off the top for a big flip dive and Stephanie is losing it. She shouts that Bryan is a B+ at best as HHH crotches him on the top, followed by a running forearm to put Bryan on the floor. It’s time for the announcer’s table but Bryan fights out of the Pedigree attempt, only to have HHH grab the arm and drive it into the table.

Back in again and HHH puts on an armbar as JBL shouts about how brilliant this is. He really needs to figure out proper tone. Bryan is able to low bridge HHH to the floor but a right hand stops the Flying Goat. Something like a belly to back suplex on the apron drops Bryan’s arm on the apron again and he has to beat the count back in. HHH channels his inner Backlund for a crossface chicken wing before putting on a regular Crossface to make Benoit scream even more.

Bryan finally makes the rope and nails a running forearm to knock some of the smile off of Stephanie’s face. The moonsault out of the corner doesn’t work but Bryan uses a standing switch for some rolling Germans for rolling near falls. HHH reverses back into another chicken wing attempt before settling for a tiger suplex. They head up top for a superplex but Bryan reverses into a sunset bomb to put both guys down. Bryan starts shaking his head as he gets up for the running dropkicks in the corner, only to have HHH nail a running clothesline to stop the third. Stephanie LOSES IT on the floor in celebration.

The Pedigree is countered into a jackknife for two before the big kick knocks HHH silly. Back to the Crossface but HHH can only grab across Bryan’s forehead. Bryan rolls away but gets caught in the middle of the ring ala the ending of Wrestlemania XX. Another roll lets Bryan counter into the YES Lock but again the grip isn’t perfect. HHH finally makes the ropes and you can see Stephanie breathe a sigh of relief. She’s gone from all confident to having to sweat over this match.

HHH bails to the floor but Bryan gets up for two straight Flying Goats, followed by a series of kicks to the chest as they hit another gear. The missile dropkick puts HHH down but Daniel lands on his shoulder. He nips up though and the fans are right back into it. JBL is starting to panic as well as Bryan busts out the YES Kicks. The big one knocks HHH down but he kicks out at two. This is reaching epic.

Bryan sets up the running knee but it’s countered into a spinebuster, followed by the Pedigree for two, sending Stephanie into shock. HHH puts him in the corner for more right hands but is smart enough to break at four. Another Pedigree attempt is countered into a backdrop for two but HHH doesn’t let go of the grip. Bryan won’t get up so HHH drives knees (yes, knees from HHH) to the side of the head. This time Bryan rolls out and kicks the boss in the head, only to miss a second attempt. HHH tries a belly to back but Bryan flips out and hits the running knee for the huge upset pin, sending him to the main event.

Rating: A. This was a great match with the big key of Bryan winning clean. HHH wrestled a smart match and did everything he should have, including the arm work and hitting the Pedigree but Bryan flat out beat him. This match was a Match of the Year contender all year and it’s easy to see why. Really good stuff here and HHH continues to prove why he’s still worth putting in the ring a few times a year.

Post match Stephanie gets in for a real challenge. She slaps Bryan in the face, allowing Stephanie to get a chair and crush Bryan’s shoulder against the post. Oh man they really did stack the deck against him. Stephanie: “That’s what happens when you play with the Game.” Dang she’s good at being evil.

New Age Outlaws/Kane vs. Shield

There isn’t much to this one. Kane blamed Jerry Lawler for letting Bryan’s fans in for the Occupy Raw incident but Shield wouldn’t attack him. The Outlaws were added because who else was going to be put in the spot? Road Dogg’s speech is cut off by Shield’s intro, complete with half masks which didn’t last long. This was right before Shield turned face, even though they’re insanely popular and have practically been good guys for a few weeks now. One last note before we get to the massacre: if you’ve never heard it, Kane’s pyro is one of the loudest things you’ll ever hear live.

Kane punches Ambrose into the corner to start but the US Champion (remember that?) fights back and nails a clothesline. Off to Reigns to run over Gunn before taking down Dogg and Kane for good measure. Reigns even tells the Outlaws to suck it. The Apron Kick (he hasn’t done that in a while) hits both Outlaws but Kane blocks the Superman Punch. That earns him a springboard knee from Rollins and Dean breaks up the Fameasser.

The Superman Punch (which the camera misses) lays out Gunn and Billy is surrounded. He gets outside with Dogg, only to take a double dive from Ambrose and Rollins. All three villains get speared (the Outlaws get theirs at the same time) and a double Triple Bomb to the Outlaws is enough for the pin. Total and complete dominance here as you can feel the Shield’s mega face push coming imminently.

Jim Duggan and Sgt. Slaughter are playing with toys in the back with EVIL Danny Davis counting the pin. Why Duggan isn’t wearing a shirt isn’t clear. Duggan wants another opponent so here’s Ricky Steamboat. They can’t play though because someone has bought the toys. Guess who that would be. On a personal note, other than Davis, I’ve met every person in this segment in the last year. Ron Simmons comes in for the required cameo.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Big Show, Cesaro, Xavier Woods, Sin Cara, Sheamus, Alberto Del Rio, Dolph Ziggler, Yoshi Tatsu, Brad Maddox, Brodus Clay, Great Khali, Zack Ryder, Kofi Kingston, Rey Mysterio, Cody Rhodes, Goldust, Darren Young, Drew McIntyre, Jinder Mahal, Heath Slater, Tyson Kidd, R-Truth, Fandango, Big E., David Otunga, Justin Gabriel, Damien Sandow, Santino Marella, Miz, Titus O’Neil, Mark Henry

In a line I can’t take credit for, this should be the Andre Rousimoff Memorial Battle Royal: the ARMBAR. There are thirty one people in this and eight of them are out of the company less than a year later. I’ll give them credit for this: they snuck everyone but Big Show and Sheamus into the ring during the legends’ segment and I didn’t notice a thing.

Kidd goes to the apron to start and flips onto a pile of people. You can’t tell what’s going on to start like in most battle royals. Tatsu is out first and Cody and Kofi get in a kick off as they’re hanging from the ropes. Maddox, GM of Raw at the time, is out next and Khali knocks Brodus out with a chop. A few guys dump Khali a few seconds later and you can actually see the mat now. There goes Ryder at 3MB’s hands and Young gets the same treatment.

Mark Henry actually sells a punch from Slater before knocking out McIntyre and Mahal. Henry makes it a matched 3MB set by throwing Heath out but Big Show gets rid of him a few seconds later. The ring is down to a manageable number now and it’s nowhere near as crowded. Show throws Titus out next but it’s Cobra time. Miz tries to block it but with an assist from Xavier Woods of all people, Miz is knocked to the floor. Del Rio kicks Santino out and Sandow dumps Woods. Racist.

Cody’s Disaster Kick nails Sandow and Goldust low bridges him to the floor. Intercontinental Champion Big E. powerbombs Gabriel out and throws Otunga to the floor for good measure. Fandango and Big E. get in a fight on the apron and Fandango actually kicks him out. Your champion ladies and gentlemen. The fans start Fandangoing but stop as Sheamus hits the thirty forearms to the chest and shoves the dancer out.

Show throws Truth out and we’re down to Big Show, Mysterio, Sin Cara, Del Rio, Kidd, Goldust, Cesaro, Sheamus, Ziggler, Kingston and Rhodes. Sin Cara goes out off camera to get us down to ten and Del Rio enziguris Kidd off the top to make it nine. Another enziguri drops Goldust and a shove gets rid of the other Rhodes brother. Del Rio takes a 619 and Cesaro gets the same treatment, only to uppercut Rey to the floor. Ziggler gets an uppercut of his own in the middle of the ring and everyone is down.

It’s Kofi up first and charging at Cesaro, who launches him over the post and down to the floor. You know it’s not that simple though as Kofi’s feet land on the steps and he gets back in for a HUGE top rope cross body. I paused the video to type a bit with Kofi in the air and I couldn’t believe how high he got on that thing. Kofi kicks everyone, including Big Show, down but he gets caught in the Swing that everyone had wanted to see. There’s something hilarious about those braids flying around.

The Swing goes on for a ridiculous thirty seconds but Cesaro walks into a chokeslam. A Brogue Kick drops Big Show and another puts Kingston out. Ziggler DDTs Sheamus but gets superkicked to the floor but Del Rio, drawing some awesome heat. The final four are Del Rio, Big Show, Sheamus and Cesaro. There’s the cross armbreaker to Sheamus, which JBL points out as a waste of time.

Sheamus powers up but both guys fall to the floor to get us down to two. You know who the fans are behind I’m assuming. Cesaro starts firing off uppercuts and clotheslines but dives into a big chop. Show loads him up but Cesaro slips down the back (ala Rock at the 2000 Royal Rumble) and casually picks him up (not like Rock at the 2000 Royal Rumble) for a slam to the floor and the win.

Rating: C+. This was a lot more fun than I was expecting and one of the more entertaining battle royals I’ve seen in a long time. Cesaro winning should have meant a big push but it wound up going nowhere due to the incompetence of this company. Good stuff here but they would have been better off with twenty like they’re doing for the second version. That slam was freaking cool too.

Cesaro celebrates with his chest high trophy.

The next awesome recap video shows us Cena vs. Wyatt, which is based around the idea of making Cena destroy his legacy….whatever that means. Wyatt thinks Cena is lying when he talks about hustle, loyalty and respect and seemingly just wants to destroy Cena for fun. He’s a weird guy like that.

John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt

Wyatt’s song is played live with a bunch of burning barrels, a woman dancing like she’s possessed and what looks like a bunch of junk set up as an altar. This was CHILLING live and an absolutely amazing visual. Bray has Harper and Rowan with him here. This was before Rowan got pushed by having Big Show knock him out 19 times in a row. The fireflies are starting to become a thing at this point but it’s not there yet. Cena doesn’t have any kind of a special entrance, but how could he follow Bray’s anyway? For some reason Roberts doesn’t even announce him until he’s in the ring.

Bray drops to his knees and offers Cena a free shot to finish him early but Cena tells him to get up and fight. They finally get going with Cena headlocking him to the mat as JBL has no idea what he just saw. Back up and Bray hammers him into the corner, shouting that Cena doesn’t want to fight him. A headbutt drops Cena as Bray asks if this is the one the people call hero.

Bray sends him across the ring but Cena just explodes with a running clothesline. A fired up Cena takes him into the corner, only to have Wyatt laugh as Cena stomps away. John gets creative (or is it basic?) with a running big boot. The Family stares at Cena and Bray shouts that John is a monster before hitting the release suplex slam (cool move). We hit the sleeper but it’s quickly just a regular chinlock.

Cena fights back and starts his finishing sequence but the Shuffle is blocked by Bray’s spider walk. Cena’s reaction is perfect as he falls down and gets distracted by Rowan, allowing Bray to hit a chokeslam (meant to be a Rock Bottom but it’s the same move for all intents and purposes) for two. It’s time for Bray to conduct the crowd but the delay lets Cena get two off a jumping tornado DDT.

Cena’s top rope Fameasser is caught in the Batista neck breaking powerbomb and control switches again. Another finishing sequence has Bray in trouble but he counters the AA into a gutbuster for two. A DDT onto the apron drops Cena and his face just looks stunned. Back in and Bray’s superplex attempt is countered but Cena, ever the rocket scientist, dives on the Family for no apparent reason. They weren’t doing much and they’ll just be ticked off now, but Cena is Cena and unquestionable right?

The wild eyed Bray sends Cena into the steps and says he’s figured out what to do. Cena kicks the steps out of his hands and picks them up instead, only to throw them down instead of giving in to the demons. Back in and Bray runs him over, says he has the whole world in his hand, but misses the backsplash. AA gets two and why are people always shocked by that? If you don’t see two of those it’s not a major match.

Rowan offers a distraction so Harper can get in a cheap shot to give his boss two. It’s about time they did something in this match. Cena goes out after Harper and spears him through the barricade, which seems to be exactly what Bray wanted. Sister Abigail is countered into the STF but the rope is quickly grabbed. Now Sister Abigail connects for two and Bray is……happy? Scared? Shocked? You never really can tell with him.

Bray goes out and rips the top off the Spanish table. Ricardo Rodriguez is on Spanish commentary and tells him to go after the French table in a funny moment. Instead Bray gets a chair and kicks it over to Cena before kneeling in the middle of the ring. He tells Cena to finish this but Cena blasts Rowan instead, setting up Sister Abigail. The kiss is too much though and the second AA is enough to pin Bray.

Rating: C+. It’s a good enough match, but what the heck was the point in having Bray lose here? The entire thing was built up as Bray being a monster and he loses the big match? Now of course this didn’t end Bray’s run, but it was questionable then and it doesn’t get any better a year later. Cena really didn’t need the win and the whole legacy thing still doesn’t make a lot of sense. I don’t get how Bray pinning him ended his legacy, so it seemed to be another way of saying “Hey Cena, turn heel already!” It’s not explained why hitting Rowan is different than hitting Bray but this story never made the most sense in the first place.

Hall of Fame video from last night. This package aired about a million times on Sunday and Monday, to the point where I memorized half the lines. Undertaker coming out with the urn during Bearer’s induction was perfect. Mr. T.’s speech on the other hand was so beyond perfect that I don’t have the words to describe it. Seeing Scott Hall and Jake Roberts up there is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen and proof that Diamond Dalla Page is a saint.

Here’s the class of 2015 live: Jake Roberts, Mr. T., Paul Bearer, Carlos Colon, Lita (you all still would and you know it), Razor Ramon and the Ultimate Warrior, who gets a full musical entrance. The interesting thing here is that the camera guys ran backwards in case he ran to the ring but instead he just walked out after everyone else had been standing there. Knowing what happened to him less than two days later still makes my head spin. This is one of the better classes ever as it’s hard to argue against any of them going in, which isn’t always the case.

Medics check on Bryan’s arm.

We recap the Streak match. The video about the Streak being the lone constant over the last twenty three years is really odd when you think about it as nothing else has anywhere near that lifespan. Can any man break the streak? Heyman: “Obviously the answer to this question is no. But what about a beast?” That’s pretty much all you need to know. Heyman caps it off with “Eat, sleep, conquer, repeat. Eat, sleep, conquer, repeat. Eat, sleep, conquer, repeat. Eat, sleep, conquer the Streak.”

Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker

Undertaker’s theme this year is a coffin with the name of each victim, all of which are lit on fire. The latest victim is covered by smoke as luck would have it. Even Brock looks a bit shaken up by all this, but that might be due to his coffin opening up. Long staredown to start until Undertaker fires off right hands. That earns him a belly to belly overhead suplex and a clothesline to send him outside because Brock is awesome like that.

Undertaker comes back with a Stunner over the top and it’s time for more punching, followed by bending Brock’s arm around the rope. The arm goes into the post as well but Brock punches Old School down. That’s it for Undertaker’s control though as he fights back and takes it to the floor, setting up the apron legdrop. It’s been about 90% Undertaker so far. The chokeslam and F5 are both escaped but Brock avoids the running boot in the corner.

It’s time to go after the old man’s leg and the last thing you want to give Brock is a target. Or raw meat. Or a belt that a Samoan wants to take from him because it turns into a stupid looking tug of war. Brock slowly hammers him down and pounds away with right hands and knees in the corner. Now they head outside for another shot to Undertaker’s knee before he’s whipped hard into the barricade. Back in and Brock keeps hammering away as the fans are waiting on the big comeback before they hit the main event style.

Now Brock just starts punching him a lot until Undertaker catches him with the running DDT (a popular counter tonight). The running clothesline in the corner (what leg injury?) sets up Snake Eyes and the running boot, followed by a legdrop for two. The chokeslam (Heyman: “HE’S POISED!”) gets two and Undertaker looks deflated. Brock counters the tombstone into the F5 (way bigger reaction than the chokeslam) for two.

Lesnar slows things down and gets pulled into a surprise Hell’s Gate. That’s fine with Brock who lifts him up into a powerbomb to break the hold. Power like that is just scary and Brock is terrifying enough on his own. Undertaker throws it on again but Brock counters it exactly the same way. Why change what works? It’s Brock’s turn for a submission as he puts on the Kimura to make Undertaker scream. We get MMA Taker as he reverses into one of his own but Brock makes it to the ropes.

Brock fires off some shoulders in the corner but Undertaker gets a boot up. We go Old School but Undertaker falls into the F5 for two. Now it’s Brock’s turn to be shocked for a change. Two German suplexes rattle Undertaker again and Heyman shouts that Brock is going to make it 21-1. Brock hammers away in the corner but climbs to the middle rope, setting up something called a Last Ride but more like a weak spinebuster.

Undertaker is just spent at this point so he loads up the tombstone. Brock doesn’t quite get planted though as you can see St. Louis in the gap between his head and the mat, meaning the kickout doesn’t have much of an impact. There’s the sit up and another tombstone, but Brock reverses and muscles Undertaker into the third F5 for the pin to conquer the Streak.

Rating: D+. This is hard to watch for multiple reasons. First and foremost, the Streak ended. I’m not the biggest Undertaker fan, but knowing what was coming actually made this hard to sit through. I mean……the Streak just ended. It’s like telling a kid there’s no Santa Claus: you know it has to happen someday but you don’t want to ever actually do it.

The other reason this was hard to watch is the match pretty much sucked. Undertaker apparently had a concussion early in the match and barely remembers a lot of what happened here. That can cause some severe problems, but I can’t imagine that the match would have been much better had Undertaker been healthy throughout. At the end of the day, the guy is 49 years old and barely wrestles once a year. You can’t expect him to be able to do it every single year.

That brings me to my last point: how can you really expect him to win here? Brock is a monster and wrestles a lot more often than Undertaker, in addition to being thirteen years younger. How can you reasonably believe that Undertaker can win? That’s part of the thing that kills the fans here: the idea of the Undertaker is that one night a year, he’s immortal. This match proved that he was human and that’s a hard thing to admit after all those years of seeing him as a superhero. Lesnar has been a monster since, and this really is the start of something special. Granted no one knew that at the time.

Anyway, Heyman’s reaction is in perfect as even he’s stunned at what he just saw because all his hyperbole is proven correct. They leave as the audience is stunned. Undertaker finally sits up, albeit very slowly, and gets the big hero’s sendoff. He hasn’t been seen since and I’m not sure I want to see him in the ring again at this point. The reaction is even more saddening as the fans are just done at this point. I’ve heard the only thing to compare this to is Koloff beating Sammartino and it’s hard to disagree with that.

On top of that, Undertaker collapsed as soon as he went through the curtain and was sent to the hospital. Vince himself went with him and missed the end of the show. That’s scary stuff but how lucky were they that he didn’t collapse on the stage in front of all the thousands of people?

Wrestlemania XXXI ad.

Divas Title: Vickie Guerrero Divas Invitational

AJ Lee, Naomi, Aksana, Alicia Fox, Brie Bella, Cameron, Emma, Eva Marie, Layla, Natalya, Nikki Bella, Rosa Mendes, Summer Rae, Tamina Snuka

All fourteen are in at once, one fall to a finish and AJ (only one with an entrance as the others came out during the XXXI video) is defending. Vickie gets in an evil laugh before we get going. AJ and her bodyguard Tamina are sent into the middle of the circle and the brawl is on. Something tells me I won’t be able to keep track of all this.

The Bellas “hit” a horrible gutbuster on Layla before Natalya tries a triple Sharpshooter on Alicia, Summer and Rosa at the same time. A quadruple suplex gets a quadruple near fall as Cameron’s top has broken. That earns her an Emma Lock as this is a total mess. We hit the parade of finishers until only the Bellas are left.

Instead of fighting, they hit an admittedly sweet looking double dive to take everyone out. It’s amazing how much easier they are to sit through when they don’t talk. They slug it out inside and the Rack Attack gets two on Brie. Back in for a parade of secondary finishers until Naomi breaks up the Superfly Splash by shoving Tamina to the floor. Natalya powerbombs Aksana to send Naomi down in a Tower of Doom, leaving AJ to hook the Black Widow on Naomi to retain.

Rating: D. Well what else were you expecting? There’s almost no way to make a huge mess like this work, especially when so many of the girls have no business inside a wrestling ring. AJ would go on to lose the title the next night to a debuting Paige, which I somehow called about two weeks out. That’s probably a lot better than having her debut here and win as part of this disaster, but it’s rather telling that the same girls are still on top of the division a year later.

Gene Okerlund interviews Hulk Hogan (that needed to happen tonight) when Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff come in. Piper reluctantly tells Hogan he’s doing a good job tonight but Paul says he’s tired of hearing about getting pinned at the first Wrestlemania. The losers want to fight now and here’s Mr. T. for the big staredown. Pat Patterson just happens to be here in a referee shirt but they all agree to bury the hatchet and have the most awkward handshakes in years.

Bruno Sammartino, Dusty Rhodes, Harley Race, Bob Backlund and Bret Hart (by far the loudest reaction) are at ringside.

WWE World Title: Randy Orton vs. Batista vs. Daniel Bryan

Rev Theory (remember them?) play Orton to the ring. Orton is defending of course and Batista won the Royal Rumble to get here. Bryan can barely move that left shoulder and has to do a one armed YES point. After the big match intros, Bryan hits a quick running dropkick to the champion followed by the YES Kicks. Orton calmly goes to the arm and stomps away but Batista takes Randy down.

The Orton backbreaker drops Batista and Bryan gets knocked down to the floor. Batista and Orton head over to the announcers’ tables before Batista whips him into the barricade. Orton backdrops out of a Batista Bomb to send Batista into the steps before going after Bryan again. The champ starts going back and forth to send both challengers into the barricade before taking Batista back inside for two.

The knee drop gets two more as the fans chant for Bryan. That’s exactly what they get as well with a double missile dropkick putting down the shaved headed guys. Daniel kicks away at both of them but Orton grabs in him a high collar suplex for two. Big Dave kicks Orton down and stomps on Bryan in the corner to get the fans booing all over again. That’s fine with Daniel as he hits running dropkicks to both guys in the corner. That woke them up again and so did the top rope hurricanrana for two on Orton.

Batista comes back with a suplex to send Bryan outside but he goes up top for no logical reason other than to allow Orton to superplex him back down. Daniel adds a Swan Dive and puts Orton in the YES Lock but here are HHH and Stephanie to pull out the referee. Crooked referee Scott Armstrong comes in to count two off the Batista Bomb on Bryan. Bryan sends a charging Batista into the post and kicks Armstrong in the head before hitting a FLYING GOAT onto the Authority, including Stephanie. Just fire him right now. Plant a tie on him or something.

HHH is livid and pulls out the sledgehammer but Bryan takes it away and knocks HHH to the floor. Orton comes back in and cleans house, joining forces with Batista to beat Bryan up even more. They take the tape off his shoulder as the Authority is taken out, much to JBL’s chagrin. The announcers’ table is loaded up with Orton setting the steps next to it, drawing a CM Punk chant for the save. Instead they get a Batista Bomb into a jumping neckbreaker (called an RKO). The scary part here is that Orton landed back first on a monitor and took a long time to get up.

Batista is the only man left standing and it’s Lawler with the voice of common sense: “Throw one of them in the ring and cover them!” The old guys still get it. Medics come out to help Bryan as JBL joins Lawler’s school of thinking: “COVER BRYAN ALREADY!” Orton and Batista brawl in a heatless segment as people don’t accept that Bryan is done yet. The Elevated DDT off the apron gets a good gasp from the crowd, but Bryan getting off the stretcher gets a better reaction.

Orton immediately sends Bryan into the steps before throwing him back inside. Again he won’t cover though, allowing Batista to come back in and take the champ down. There’s the YES Lock to Batista but Orton is right back up for the save. Daniel is knocked to the floor by Batista’s spear and the RKO gets a VERY close two on Dave to get the fans back into it.

Another RKO is loaded up but Bryan comes back in with the running knee. Batista throws Bryan down but Orton kicks out at two. Another Batista Bomb puts Orton down but Bryan comes back in with the running knee and the YES Lock FINALLY makes Bryan champion, sending New Orleans into a frenzy. Cole dubs it the Miracle on Bourbon Street in a call I really like.

Rating: B. This needed to be five minutes shorter but my goodness they cranked up the emotions here. There was no other possible ending to this though and the fans ate up every single bit of it. The near falls on the finishers were great and I was totally buying into them as potential endings. Not a great match but exactly the way the show should have ended.

Confetti falls (and I got a piece which I still have) and a huge celebration finally ends the show.

Overall Rating: A-. Time has brought this show back down to earth a bit but it’s still incredibly fun. This was everything the fans could have wanted from Bryan (though not quite everything from Undertaker vs. Lesnar) and an incredibly emotional show. The wrestling here ranges from very good to mixed but the emotion is off the charts. That’s what matters at the end of the day and it was the perfect story being told. The show holds up almost completely and it’s still great and worth checking out. Bryan may never get back to the top again, but they can never take this night away from him and that’s not the worst prize.

Ratings Comparison

Usos vs. Real Americans vs. Los Matadores vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Original: B

Redo: B

HHH vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: A

Redo: A

Shield vs. Kane/New Age Outlaws

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena

Original: B

Redo: C+

Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Vickie Guerrero Divas Invitational

Original: D+

Redo: D

Daniel Bryan vs. Batista vs. Randy Orton

Original: A-

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A-

The main event was too high but the show is still an instant classic.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/04/07/wrestlemania-xxx-oh-yeah-i-went-there/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXX
Date: April 6, 2014
Location: Mercedes-Benz Super Dome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 75,167
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s finally here. After months of waiting, we’ve finally arrived at the biggest night of the year. This is Wrestlemania, where everything changes as the WWE year comes to a close. All the major stories come to a head tonight, as we have Daniel Bryan facing HHH for a spot in the WWE Title match, Undertaker putting his Streak on the line against Brock Lesnar, and John Cena fighting the disturbing Bray Wyatt in a battle over Cena’s legacy. To say I’m excited is a huge understatement. Let’s get to it.

As you may have heard, I was in the Super Dome for the show so this is my second viewing in about twelve hours. I’m still kind of on a cloud after last night so this is going to be pretty biased. I’m much more coherent now than I was beforehand though. If you’re wondering, my seat was in the first set of raised seats, opposite the cameras, in front of where the stage turned into a ramp.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Real Americans vs. Los Matadores vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

The Usos are defending but the crowd was behind the Real Americans. People HATED Los Matadores and the kids weren’t only kind of cheering for Torito. The interesting thing is you can see the Usos standing on stage during the previous team’s entrance. Axel vs. Jey gets things going as a LOUD WE THE PEOPLE chant fills the arena. They trade chops to start and the Real Americans want no part of a tag.

Curtis comes back with a running dropkick but it’s quickly off to Ryback vs. Jey. The big guy hammers away but Diego tags Ryback to come in. JBL calls this a stupid point because it’s not a one fall match. This brings up an interesting point: The fans, myself included, didn’t seem to know that it was elimination. It may have been mentioned before the show (probably was), but I didn’t hear it mentioned again before the match.

Anyway Cesaro tags Jey and it’s Diego getting double teamed by the Americans. Swagger nails a BIG clothesline for two but Diego comes back with a springboard headbutt, only to miss a Lionsault. Everyone not named Axel or a Matadore is sent to the floor, setting up a nice double dive from the masked guys that the cameras almost miss. Torito tries to go up as well but gets caught by Curtis. Axel throws him down and goes up top, but Los Matadores make the save.

Torito slips jumping to the top but gets up well enough to drive Axel and Los Matadores onto the floor in a big pile. Back in and Diego goes up top but Jack runs the ropes to superplex him into the Patriot Lock for the submission at 5:40. The fans thought we had new champions due to the lack of an explanation, but the confusion didn’t last long.

A quick Patriot Lock to Jey doesn’t work as well and it’s quickly off to Ryback for a delayed suplex and two on Jey. A middle rope splash from Ryback and a middle rope elbow drop from Axel combine for two and we hit the chinlock from Ryback. Off to a front facelock for a few moments until Jey whips Ryback away. The big guy misses a hard charge into the post though and the hot tag brings in Jimmy.

The Samoan drop sets up the running Umaga attack but Swagger catches Jimmy in a powerslam for two. Jimmy blocks the Vader Bomb with two feet to the face but Ryback plants both guys with spinebusters. There’s the Meat Hook to Jack but Cesaro breaks up the Shell shock. That’s fine with Ryback as he slams Cesaro off the top, only to get thrown into the air for Swiss Death, setting up the Neutralizer for the elimination at 11:44.

We’re doing to the Usos vs. the Real Americans and the fans are mostly for the challengers. It’s a brawl to start and the Usos quickly send them to the floor, setting up the double dive to knock all four guys down. Back in and Cesaro nails a backbreaker on Jey for a close two but the Neutralizer is countered into a jackknife cover. Cesaro counters that into a Swing attempt but Jimmy makes the save. That earns him an uppercut of his own but Jimmy goes up top for a Whisper in the Wind to drop both Americans for two.

Jack counters the Umaga attack into the Patriot Lock but Cesaro can’t intercept Jey who makes the save. Swiss Death drops Jey but Jimmy puts Cesaro down with a Samoan drop. Everything breaks down and Colter begs Cesaro to get back up. A double tag brings in Cesaro to face Jimmy. That’s fine with the champions as a double superkick sets up the double Superfly Splash on Cesaro for the pin at 16:13.

Rating: B. Really fun stuff here but man this would have been better with the Rhodes Brothers instead of the Matadores. Still though, the fans were WAY into Cesaro and the Usos got a very solid reaction as well. This is how you do an opening match to fire up the crowd and the big dives did exactly what they were supposed to do.

Post match Swagger yells at Cesaro while Colter tries to pull him back. Jack puts Cesaro in the Patriot Lock but Colter breaks it up. He orders them to hug but Cesaro Swings Swagger and leaves by himself. I bolted for the concession stand as soon as the bell rang so I could only hear this part.

The opening video for the PPV has a jazz/Mardi Gras theme. It shows a band playing on the street and talking about a good time starting when you lose track of time. “And man oh man have we lost track of time.” There’s a parade with shots of Wrestlemanias past put in as well. One really cool shot shows Shawn ziplining down what I think is Bourbon Street. If nothing else we see the Bellas doing their dance which is never a bad thing.

The wide shots of the Super Dome look amazing.

Here’s Hulk Hogan to open the show to a BIG ovation. There’s something right about having him at this show. He hits the catchphrase to start and the fans go nuts, only to turn on him seconds later when Hogan calls this building the Silver Dome. Hogan talks about his history at Wrestlemania and calls it the Silver Dome again. Hulk finally realizes what he said and corrects himself to some nice applause. The fans are clearly in a good mood tonight.

Hogan says there will be Wrestlemania moments tonight and you never know…..CUE GLASS SHATTER! The place absolutely came unglued when we heard that as people were expecting Austin much later in the show. JBL wants to see Hogan take the Stunner. Austin gets right in Hogan’s face but stops to ask the crowd if they’re ready for Wrestlemania before saying it’s great to be back at the Silver Dome to a laugh.

Steve says he usually beats up whoever he’s in the ring with and the fans seem to like the idea of him doing it to Hogan. They were sitting next to each other at the Hall of Fame last night and Austin has seen everything Hogan has done at Wrestlemania I. WHAT? Wrestlemania II? WHAT? On through Wrestlemania X (which Hogan wasn’t at). WHAT? Austin: “You get the picture.” Austin says he respects everything Hogan has done but says tonight is about the current group of wrestlers to show everything they’ve got for these fans.

Stone Cold does his catchphrase….and here’s the Rock. He immediately hugs both guys and the crowd is just stunned at what they’re seeing in the ring. Rock says it’s a Wrestlemania moment when all five of your senses are on fire. He can see the people in front of him, he can hear the crowd cheering, you can feel it, taste it, and you certainly can smell it. Rock does the FINALLY bit for New Orleans, Wrestlemania and the SUPER Dome, drawing a smile from Hulk and a SUPER DOME chant from the crowd.

Rock says he doesn’t see two of the biggest stars of all time across the ring. Instead he sees his friend Steve Austin and his childhood hero Hulk Hogan, meaning he sees the two biggest names in the history of the WWE. He’s fought both of them at Wrestlemania and they’ve both impacted his career.

They’ve had a huge impact on everyone’s career in the back too, because without Hulk Hogan telling the people to say their prayers and take their vitamins, no one is fighting for Hustle Loyalty and Respect. Tonight someone is going to rise against the Authority (pause for a YES chant which Rock seems to like a lot) and that doesn’t happen if a bald headed SOB didn’t beat up his boss.

Rock says a lot of people have birthdays nine months after Wrestlemania because they watched him electrify the world and had to make some Rock Babies. We get a little rhyming from Rock, saying the three of them could beat up everyone in Wrestlemania history. They all hit their catchphrases one more time (Hogan makes sure to say SUPER Dome) and beers are consumed. All three get their music played as they leave too. Do I need to explain why this was absolutely incredible? I said out loud that I could go home now and be a very happy man.

Oh yeah we have matches too.

We get an awesome video on the WWE career of Daniel Bryan, starting from NXT and going into his rocket push over the last year set to Monster by Imagine Dragons. We even get some clips from his indy days to really show how big a deal this is. It transitions into a video on HHH vs. Bryan and how this is all about the Authority not thinking Bryan is a main event player but Bryan and the people saying he’s good enough to beat anyone.

Stephanie is in the ring with half of a business suit and some barely there leather shorts. She still has some nice legs. Stephanie introduces HHH, who has what was described as a Game of Thrones entrance (never seen the show so that may be way off) with three women in masks (Charlotte, Sasha Banks and Alexis Bliss from NXT) standing around his throne. HHH is wearing a big red robe, golden spiked shoulder pads and a gold mask complete with chain mail around his head. This worked really well and didn’t look stupid like the Conan one a few years back.

HHH vs. Daniel Bryan

The winner goes into the triple threat later tonight. Cole says this should be a mismatch, even though Bryan is a Triple Crown winner and a three time World Champion. The YES chant was awesome in person and the place went absolutely nuts when Bryan’s music hit. Oddly enough he wasn’t announced at all and just came to the ring with his music. No Big Match Intros either. Bryan’s left shoulder is taped up after the attack a few weeks ago on Raw.

They stare each other down for a good while to start as a bunch of fans have YES written on pieces of paper. HHH offers a handshake and is quickly kicked down for two. Daniel fires off more kicks in the corner but HHH bails to the floor to avoid a big kick. Back in and HHH goes for the bad arm like a smart wrestler would but Bryan takes him down with a headlock takeover. A hard shoulder block drops Daniel but it’s right back to the headlock.

HHH drives shoulders in the corner but Daniel comes back with his kicks, only to have HHH take him down by the leg in a nice counter. Bryan gets away before HHH can wrap the arm around the post and hits a running tornado DDT off the apron. The running knee off the apron puts both guys down as Stephanie is freaking out. Back in and Bryan goes up but gets crotched. Stephanie: “B+ AT BEST!”

A big right hand knocks Bryan out to the floor and it’s table time. Bryan fights out of a Pedigree attempt through the table but gets his arm slammed into the table. Stephanie: “YES! YES! YES!” Bryan is back in the ring at seven and HHH drives knees into the shoulder. We hit the armbar for a bit but Bryan is able to backdrop HHH to the floor. HHH is able to get up and block the FLYING GOAT with a big right hand, which looked like a slegehammer shot on the big screen.

HHH gets him back to the apron and drops him arm first onto the apron. Stephanie is still yelling at Bryan as she’s just perfect in this role. Back in and we go old school with a crossface chickenwing on the bad arm. HHH shifts into a regular Crossface and the fans aren’t sure what to think of it. Daniel makes the rope and they slug it out until Bryan drops him with a running forearm. Bryan loads up the moonsault but HHH wisely stops and tries a German, only to be reversed into three straight German suplexes for three straight near falls.

The Game counters another into a chickenwing attempt but HHH reverses into a tiger suplex of all things, putting Bryan down on his shoulder again. HHH’s superplex attempt is countered into a sunset bomb but Bryan can’t cover. The running dropkick in the corner has HHH in trouble but he comes out of the corner with a wicked clothesline. Stephanie: “YES! WOO!”

The Pedigree is countered into a rollup for two and a big kick to the head drops HHH again. Bryan loads up the flying headbutt, only to dive head first into a knee. Back to the Crossface and HHH rolls Bryan away from the ropes ala Benoit in 2004. Daniel is able to counter into the YES Lock out of nowhere but HHH gets a rope. HHH rolls outside and it’s the FLYING GOAT to send him into the barricade.

Bryan hits it again before firing off the YES Kicks to the chest. Back in and there’s the missile dropkick into the nipup followed by more YES Kicks. JBL: “Something isn’t right about this!” The big kick to the head gets two as the fans think this is awesome. Daniel loads up the running knee but is caught in a spinebuster. The Pedigree gets two and Stephanie is shocked.

A small package gets two on HHH so he hammers away in the corner with some heavy right hands. Another Pedigree is countered with a backdrop for two but HHH holds on to the grip. Bryan won’t get up though so HHH drives knees into the shoulder. HHH still can’t hit the Pedigree so Bryan kicks him in the face. With both guys spent, Daniel backflips out of a suplex and nails the running knee dead on to send himself to the main event at 25:58.

Rating: A. Oh yeah this was awesome. They played the underdog card perfectly and the fans ate it up with a spoon. I’m surprised they went with the clean pin instead of the fourway but that’s the better move at the end of the day. It’s definitive and clean with Bryan beating HHH in a fair match despite being injured coming in. Outstanding opener, even if most people knew Bryan was going to the title match anyway.

Post match Stephanie slaps Bryan until HHH gets back up and lays him out. HHH crushes the shoulder against the post with a chair again to leave Bryan’s future in doubt.

Mountain Dew commercial.

New Age Outlaws/Kane vs. Shield

Since we’re over an hour into the show and have had one match, Shield FLIES down to the ring after cutting off the Outlaws’ entrance, wearing white half masks for some reason. This is the result of Shield protecting Jerry Lawler from Kane when the Big Bald accused Lawler of causing the Occupy Raw movement. Kane starts with Ambrose and hammers away before dropping him with a clothesline. Off to Reigns (now in a singlet top instead of the full back) for some running clotheslines and a crotch chop of all things.

The floor to apron boot lays out both Outlaws and there’s a Superman Punch to Road Dogg (BIG reaction to that). Kane blocks another Punch but Rollins comes in to dive on Kane. Ambrose takes down Road Dogg and there’s the Superman Punch to Billy. The Shield has Gunn surrounded so he bails, allowing Ambrose and Rollins to hit stereo suicide dives on the Outlaws. There’s a spear to Kane and a double one to drop Gunn and Dogg. A DOUBLE TRIPLE BOMB is enough to end the Outlaws at 2:55. Total and complete squash which makes me feel FAR better about this match than I thought going in.

Jim Duggan and Sgt. Slaughter are in the back playing with the Slam City figures, complete with DANNY DAVIS giving Duggan a fast count pin. Ricky Steamboat wants next but a guy in a suit takes the toys away because someone has bought them. This brings up the required Ted DiBiase cameo to say even in Slam City, everybody has a price. The only possibly payoff is Ron Simmons for the catchphrase and that’s exactly what we get.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Sheamus, Big Show, Alberto Del Rio, Big E, Brad Maddox, Brodus Clay, Cody Rhodes, Damien Sandow, Darren Young, David Otunga, Dolph Ziggler, Fandango, Drew McIntyre, Goldust, The Great Khali, Heath Slater, Jinder Mahal, Justin Gabriel, Kofi Kingston, Mark Henry, The Miz, Rey Mysterio, R-Truth, Santino Marella, Sin Cara, Titus O’Neil, Tyson Kidd, Xavier Woods, Yoshi Tatsu, Zack Ryder.

Only Sheamus and Big Show get entrances. I’ll give WWE credit: I didn’t notice the guys getting into the ring at all as I was distracted by the legends segment. Well done. The problem though is no one knew who all was in the match. Yoshi Tatsu is quickly dumped before Kofi and Cody are both sent over but hang on to stay in. Brad Maddox is tossed and Khali chops Brodus to the floor. 3MB combines to dump Khali though as the ring is slowly clearing out a bit.

The Band gets rid of Ryder and Darren Young as well and you can actually see some of the mat. Henry has had enough of 3MB though and tosses all three, only to be eliminated by Big Show. Show gets rid of Titus (DO THE DOG BARK!) and it’s Cobra time from Santino. Miz blocks the dreaded sock for a bit but is knocked out a few seconds later. He beat Cena at Wrestlemania three years ago and now he’s jobbing to a sock. Sandow is gone as we’re almost half done. Big E. tosses Justin Gabriel.

Otunga is actually in the match long enough to be eliminated until we get a big upset with Fandango eliminating Big E. with ease. We get some Fandangoing but Sheamus grabs him for TWENTY SEVEN FOREARMS TO THE CHEST. I shout because WHY DIDN’T HE GO TO THIRTY? He casually shoves Fandango to the floor and the fans love it. Big Show throws out Truth and dances a bit before staring down at Rey. JBL: “EAT HIM BIG SHOW!”

Kidd goes up and is kicked out by Del Rio as Sheamus hammers on Big Show. Del Rio kicks Goldust to the floor as well and complete the Rhodes double by shoving Cody off the top. We’re down to Mysterio, Del Rio, Ziggler, Sheamus, Big Show, Cesaro and Kingston. Rey hits a 619 on Del Rio but Cesaro counters one into Swiss Death for the elimination. Kofi is LAUNCHED over the top onto the steps but his feet stay on the steps so he can get back in. Kofi gets to clean house with kicks all around, including one to knock Big Show down.

Cesaro Swings Kingston for a LONG time but walks into a chokeslam. There’s a Brogue Kick to Big Show and another one to Kofi for an elimination. Ziggler hits his running DDT on Sheamus but gets superkicked out by Del Rio. We’re down to Sheamus, Big Show, Del Rio and Cesaro.

Alberto puts Sheamus in the cross armbreaker (why?) but Sheamus lifts him up. He takes Del Rio to the ropes but they both fall out to leave us with Cesaro vs. Big Show. A series of clotheslines can’t drop Big Show so Cesaro goes up top, only to be chopped out of the air. Cesaro slips off Big Show’s shoulders, EASILY picks him up and throws Big Show out to win at 13:44.

Rating: C+. Pretty standard battle royal until the end where they did something that Wrestlemania can be used for: pushing a new guy. This is Cesaro’s big moment and a probable face turn for him. There’s nothing that can beat pure strength like that and visuals like Big Show being lifted up are always going to work.

Big Show shakes Cesaro’s hand and walks out in peace. Five referees have to get the trophy into the ring but Cesaro picks it up on his own to make things even better.

We recap Cena vs. Bray Wyatt. The idea is Cena has worked hard and lived off of hustle, loyalty and respect to build his career but Bray just wants to destroy the heroes. Bray started talking about Cena’s legacy because one day his career is going to end and then what becomes of him since he’s built his life around the WWE.

John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray is played to the ring in an awesome visual, complete with barrels fire, what appears to be a voodoo woman dancing with swords and I believe an altar. No special entrance for Cena this year but he gets more booing than cheers. The cheers are there though. Bray bounces on the middle rope to start before kneeling in front of Cena and begging John to be a monster and hit him. FINISH ME JOHN! Cena says get up and fight before taking Bray down with a headlock. Bray headbutts Cena several times to take over while shouting a lot.

An elbow drop gets two and he asks the fans if this is their hero. Cena comes back with a HARD clothesline before looking furious in the corner. He hammers away on Bray but Wyatt laughs and invites Cena to do more. John drives in more right hands, drawing Harper and Rowan to the apron. Wyatt keeps laughing (very 1998 Raven) and Cena isn’t sure what to do. He chokes away which is exactly what Bray wants as Cena is unleashing the monster inside. A big boot drops Bray but Cena is angry at himself for losing control.

Bray lifts Cena up for a suplex but slams him down instead in a cool visual. John comes back with a dropkick but gets caught in a sleeper. It shifts into a chinlock but Cena counters with the ProtoBomb. He loads up the Shuffle but Bray bridges up into the spider stance. Fans: “THAT WAS CREEPY!” Bray runs him over and conducts the crowd as the arm swaying begins. Cena comes back with a tornado DDT but the Fameasser is countered into a wicked powerbomb for a very close two.

Cena comes back again and hits the Shuffle but Bray counters the AA into a spinning gutbuster for two. Bray takes him to the apron for a DDT and another near fall as the fans starting singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands. Now THAT is a creepy moment. John is able to fight out of a superplex and loads up the Fameasser, only to dive onto the Family instead. Bray is right back on him though and sends Cena hard into the steps. Wyatt says he’s figured it out but gets knocked down by a hard shot.

Now we get to the interesting part as Cena picks up the steps but can’t bring himself to embrace the hate. Back in and the hard cross body gets two for Bray and it’s time for more singing. He misses a backsplash though and Cena nails the AA for two. This kicking out of finishers thing is really getting old. Rowan tries to interfere, allowing Harper to superkick Cena down. Now the backsplash gets two and Bray is getting frustrated.

He sends Cena outside so John spears Luke through the barricade for some revenge. That’s what Bray wanted though so he throws Cena back inside and bends over backwards in the corner. Sister Abigail is countered into the STF but Bray makes the ropes. Back up and a quick Sister Abigail is good for two. Wyatt is smiling again and heads outside to load up the announce table.

Then he goes over to get a chair (giving us a visual of Harper still out cold two and a half minutes after he was laid out) but slides it to Cena instead. Bray gets on his knees and tells Cena to hit him. This is the big moment as John heavily thinks about it but is able to control himself and knock Rowan off the apron with the chair instead. Sister Abigail is countered into an AA for the pin out of nowhere at 22:28.

Rating: B. The match was the usual big match style here with both guys hitting all their big stuff. However the important part here was the psychological war instead of the physical aspect. I’m REALLY not sure on Cena winning, but the story is clearly going to continue in some gimmick matches. That’s where Cena can be pushed even further and go too far with the violence ala Magnum vs. Tully where Magnum went nuts and then realized what he did.

The match worked well enough but the ending leaves a lot of questions to be answered. The biggest of all though is what happens to Wyatt. Hopefully the magic isn’t gone after the loss but we’ll find that out very soon. He’ll be way over in his home state and the gimmick is cool enough to keep him over for years.

Cena celebrates with fans and his dad post match.

Hall of Fame time. Lita got a great reaction while rocking a long silver dress. Bearer probably got the best reaction of everyone, until Ultimate Warrior came out after everyone else. The cameramen were pulling back like he was going to sprint to the ring but it didn’t happen.

Daniel Bryan is examined in the back. They’ve been sticking with the stuff in the ring tonight and I kind of like that.

We recap Lesnar vs. Undertaker. The video talks about the Streak going on for over twenty years with the question being can any man beat the Streak. It cuts to Heyman saying the answer is no, but a Beast could do it. The line of “Eat, Sleep, Conquer, Repeat. Eat, Sleep, Conquer, Repeat. Eat, Sleep, Conquer the Streak” was great stuff.

Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar

The entrance is very cool this year with 21 caskets with a name and Wrestlemania printed on each one. Punk’s casket is of course not show but they’re all lit on fire in a great shot. Undertaker hammers away to start but walks into a belly to belly. A clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor but he just stares up at Lesnar. Some heavy knees into the ribs have Undertaker in trouble again but he snaps Brock’s neck over the top rope.

Lesnar’s arm is bent around the top rope and they fight on the floor for a few moments. Back inside and Old School is countered but Brock misses a charge into the post. The legdrop across the apron has Lesnar in trouble but they head outside again with Brock ramming him into the post. Undertaker is taken down with a spinebuster and it’s back inside for some hard choking.

Brock stomps away in the corner and goes after the leg to take away the vertical base. Undertaker gets to the floor and limps a lot but Brock kicks the bad leg out again. A not very hard whip sends Undertaker into the barricade and they head back inside for more knees to the chest. The sweat is dripping off Brock’s nose in a disturbing image. Brock tees off on him with rights and lefts but Undertaker comes back with the running DDT to put both guys down.

Some running clotheslines in the corner stagger Brock and it’s Snake Eyes into the big boot and a legdrop for two (Brother). A chokeslam gets two more but Taker walks into an F5 for the same. Hell’s Gate is slapped on out of nowhere but Brock powers him up (barely) and drops him all of two feet onto the mat. They do the same sequence again and this time the drop is better but you can see Brock isn’t going full force here.

There’s the Kimura from Lesnar but Undertaker reverses into one of his own. Brock is taken to the mat but gets into the ropes for the break. Both guys are getting tired out there. Taker loads up Old School but is barely able to stand. He almost falls into an F5 for a very close two and follows up with some VERY light German suplexes.

Brock hammers away in the corner (again why?) and gets caught in a powerbomb. Yes a powerbomb as he wasn’t lifted at all. The Tombstone is good for two, which isn’t shocking as you could see Undertaker’s feet in the space between Brock’s head and the mat. Undertaker sits up but Brock counters a tombstone into an F5 to end the Streak and shock the world.

Before we get to the rating, I have to talk about the crowd a little bit. As you might have noticed, I can talk a good deal when I need to. For one of the only times in my life, I couldn’t move and couldn’t say a word. I’ve heard stories of the crowd in MSG going silent when Sammartino lost the WWWF Title to Koloff and that’s what I think happened here. This isn’t something that just happens. This is the end of an era and something no one has ever seen before.

A graphic that said 21-1 appeared on screen and the fans were literally SCREAMING for Hogan to come out and do something to save the Streak. People actually ran out of the building crying because they didn’t want to believe what they had just seen. This is a wrestling changing moment and we’ll never, ever, see anything like it again.

Rating: C+. And that’s being generous. This is being written about 15 hours after Wrestlemania ended and this has gotten about 80% of the comments. Since the match ended, word has come out that Undertaker wanted to end the Streak because he couldn’t perform at this level anymore. If that’s true, and based on this match, I can certainly see why, then I respect him greatly for it. It’s clear that Undertaker is having a lot of trouble moving around anymore as age and his career are catching up with him.

If you watch the match carefully and with the emotion taken out of it, it’s very clear that Undertaker just can’t do it anymore. The Last Ride had literally no elevation, the German suplexes were Undertaker being laid down on his back and the Tombstone was just sad. If the Streak had kept going, it would have become an embarrassment for Undertaker as the matches would have gotten worse and worse.

Undertaker is 49 years old and really hasn’t been an active wrestler in years. Father Time catches up with everyone and it caught up to Undertaker. Points to him though for ending it while he could still have a passable match like this one. At the end of the day, the Streak had to end sometime and I’m glad he got to pick when it did.

Finally, there comes a point where the Streak is pushed beyond the point of being realistic. I’m supposed to believe that a man pushing 50 is able to come out of a glorified retirement and beat BROCK LESNAR in a one on one fight? People, myself included, said it was ridiculous that HHH beat Brock at Wrestlemania. Would it really have been that much more ridiculous for Undertaker to do it? I don’t really think so. Brock may have not been the best option, but it’s certainly not insane.

Now on to more aftermath. Undertaker was hospitalized after the match with a severe concussion and neck injury. If he was banged up that badly in the early part of the match, you have to excuse some of the sluggishness a bit. It’s not a great match, but the reaction at the end more than makes up for it. Brock winning may not be the best option, but I offer the following question: who else was there for this spot? Reigns simply isn’t ready, Cena vs. Undertaker needed a bigger build, Sting would be an even bigger waste and just wasn’t going to happen. Who else is there?

That being said, the Streak is one of those things that is never going to be topped. Ever. Period. It went on for TWENTY THREE YEARS. Hulk Hogan was still WWF Champion around that time and I was five years old. Let that sink in for a minute and realize how big a deal that was. A lot of fans don’t remember a time before the Streak began and it’s produced some of the best matches in Wrestlemania history. Undertaker has won three World Titles at Wrestlemania and pinned all four members of Evolution. That’s a fine career and he did it one year at a time.

Most of the people he beat are in the Hall of Fame and most of the rest of them will probably be in one day (the majority of them are locks and would Sid/Boss Man/Bundy really surprise you?). The match with Shawn is as good as you’re ever going to find and Batista and Orton were made at those shows.

It took on a life of its own and was basically a co-main event at every Wrestlemania for the last six years or so. The Streak was going to end someday and it’s good that it happened under Undertaker’s terms instead of when age forced it to happen against his wishes. That’s your big Wrestlemania moment and I’ll never forget it.

Undertaker gets the hero’s sendoff as the fans chant THANK YOU TAKER.

Wrestlemania XXXI is in Silicon Valley, California. During this announcement, the Divas filled the ring for the next match.

Divas Title: Vickie Guerrero Invitational

Aksana, Alicia Fox, AJ Lee, Naomi, Brie Bella, Cameron, Emma, Eva Marie, Layla, Natalya, Nikki Bella, Rosa Mendes, Summer Rae, Tamina Snuka.

So AJ is defending and is facing the entire division, as in thirteen other girls. Good reaction for the champion but this is the death spot to end all death spots. Vickie is at ringside holding the title. AJ and Tamina are thrown into the middle of the ring and beaten on for a solid three seconds before it breaks down. Everyone is in the ring at the same time mind you. The fans want refunds and chant for Undertaker.

There’s nothing to call here other than the girls look good in their outfits and Rosa looks bizarre with short bleach blonde hair. Natalya tries a triple Sharpshooter on Cameron, Rosa and someone else but Eva makes the save. A quadruple suplex gets four near falls before Cameron hits a running Codebreaker on the champion. Cameron’s top has been ripped apart and she keeps having to cover up.

The Emma Sandwich crushes Summer and it’s time for the Parade of Finishers/moves that are allegedly finishers because most of these girls don’t ever win anything. Eva, in a swimsuit, shoves Tamina down but runs away from her. Everyone but the Bellas are knocked to the floor and the twins hit some nice suicide dives to take them out. Now it’s time for the Bellas to fight but Alicia and Nattie come back in to break it up. Tamina nails Natalya with a Samoan drop but Naomi breaks up the Splash. Natalya slams Aksana off the top for two and AJ puts Naomi in the Black Widow for the submission to retain at 6:43.

Rating: D+. There were fourteen girls in there at once and one fall to a finish. What in the world were you expecting here? Also they knew there was no way anyone was going to care and they didn’t really try to fight it. Those dives by the Bellas were nice though. Odds are this sets up Paige debuting though as there’s literally no one left for AJ to beat. Or Kharma comes back.

We go to the back to see Gene Okerlund with Hogan. Hulk talks about how awesome this is but stops because Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff show up. Piper begrudgingly admits that Hogan is doing a good job as Orndorff says he’s heard about losing the main event of the first Wrestlemania for thirty years. Piper wants to fight but Mr. T. comes up to even the odds. Pat Patterson, in a referee shirt for a perfect moment, says it’s been thirty years so let it go. Hogan agrees and everyone shakes hands. Piper sound like he’s giving birth before shaking T’s hand is great.

Bruno Sammartino, Harley Race, Dusty Rhodes and Bret Hart (loudest pop by far) are here.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Randy Orton vs. Batista vs. Daniel Bryan

Rev Theory plays the champion Orton to the ring. The song goes on too long though as they play the full thing. Batista is LOUDLY booed whereas Bryan gets the hero pop, even though he can only YES with one arm. An interesting note: Cole hypes up Extreme Rules as a “WWE Special” rather than a pay per view, which is a good way to advertise it on the Network. Any time you can get the word “pay” out of something it sounds more enticing. After the Big Match Intros we’re ready to go.

Batista runs Orton over to start but can’t hit the Bomb on Bryan. Orton and Bryan are both thrown outside with Bryan being sent into the barricade arm first. Batista loads up a powerbomb onto the steps but Orton counters into a backdrop to get a breather. Bryan starts to get up but Orton drops him back first onto the barricade to stop him again. It’s Dave vs. Randy in the ring again with Randy hitting the circle stomp followed by the knee drop for two.

Daniel comes back in with a double missile dropkick but Batista slams both guys down for two each. Bryan is able to send Batista into the buckle and hits a string of running dropkicks in the corner to both guys. A top rope hurricanrana takes the champion down again but Batista suplexes Daniel over the top and out to the floor. Now Batista goes up top but Orton pulls him down with a superplex. Bryan is back in again and nails the swan dive to set up the YES Lock, but HHH and Stephanie come in from the crowd to pull out the referee.

Batista hits the spinebuster as Scott Armstrong comes in to be referee. Cole calls him crooked, but wasn’t he crooked before in Bryan’s favor? So the story is HHH had Armstrong do a fast count on Bryan at Night of Champions so the pin wouldn’t count? Was that ever established on WWE TV? Anyway he counts two after a Batista Bomb to Bryan and Batista charges into the post. Bryan kicks Armstrong in the head and nails the FLYING GOAT to take out the Authority and Armstrong.

HHH is livid and pulls out the sledgehammer but Bryan steals it and lays out the Game. The original referee counts two as Bryan rolls up Batista but Orton is back in for the save. Bryan’s arm is exposed as the opponents start double teaming. HHH and Stephanie are helped out (cue Goodbye Song) as Orton bounces the steps off Bryan’s head. Batista and Randy pick up Bryan and load up the announce table. The fans chant for CM Punk out of desparation (this happened throughout the night but never became a big thing).

In the spot of the night, Batista lifts up Bryan for a Batista Bomb and Orton hits the RKO (neckbreaker but whatever) to lay Bryan out cold. The scary part though was Orton who landed square on a monitor. I was genuinely scared he wasn’t going to get up at all. A stretcher is brought out for Bryan as Lawler asks a very good question: why is Batista not throwing someone in the ring and trying to pin them? That’s a problem in wrestling today. So many people just stop using logic because it’s not the planned finish. As soon as Orton could indicate that he was ok, Batista should have tried to pin him.

Instead he just whips Orton into the barricade about five times in a row to lose what they had of the crowd. Orton comes back with the Elevated DDT onto the floor but Bryan is off the stretcher and literally crawling back to the ring. An RKO is countered into a YES Lock but Batista makes the save.

The spear misses Orton and sends Bryan to the floor, setting up an RKO on Batista for a VERY close two. Orton loads up the Punt but Bryan takes his head off with the knee. Batista steals the cover for two and nails the Batista Bomb on Orton, but Bryan takes him down with the running knee, setting up the YES Lock on Batista for the submission and the title to blow the roof off the place at 23:01.

Rating: A-. It’s long and there are some parts that dragged but this was all about making the impossible happen and they nailed that to perfection. Everything else is a bonus and they actually had me thinking Orton would retain with that RKO. It was all about Daniel Bryan though and that’s exactly what it needed to be. Excellent match and it gave us the moment we were looking for.

A HUGE celebration follows with fireworks, confetti (I snagged a piece for a souvenir) and Bryan’s sister and niece coming in to celebrate with him. The celebration went on for awhile after the show went off the air with nothing you wouldn’t expect.

Overall Rating: A+. Let’s see. We had two of the most historic moments of all time plus Daniel Bryan getting to the title match and winning the title in two great matches. On top of that Shield looked awesome, the battle royal gave us a new star, Cena vs. Bray was good enough and the Divas could have been FAR worse.

This show was all about the emotion as we went from joy to shock to more joy in the span of less than four hours. That’s very impressive when there was no terrible match (I can’t bring myself to call a match with fourteen good looking women in revealing outfits to be a bad thing) and the good stuff was really good. I can’t put it above Wrestlemania 17 as there’s nothing here that tops Austin vs. Rock, let alone TLC 2, but this was a very special show and the best Wrestlemania in at least ten years. Excellent show and one I’ll watch many times over the years.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. HHH – Running knee

Shield b. Kane/New Age Outlaws – Triple Bomb to Road Dogg

Cesaro won the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal last eliminating Big Show

John Cena b. Bray Wyatt – Attitude Adjustment

Brock Lesnar b. Undertaker – F5

AJ Lee b. Aksana, Alicia Fox, Brie Bella, Cameron, Naomi, Emma, Eva Marie, Layla, Natalya, Nikki Bella, Rosa Mendes, Summer Rae and Tamina Snuka – Black Widow to Naomi

Daniel Bryan b. Batista and Randy Orton – YES Lock to Batista

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Survivor Series 2014
Date: November 23, 2014
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Now this is going to be an interesting one as the whole show is built around one match and that one match’s big surprise. Last year they made no secret about the show being entirely built around one single match, which wound up making the way to make the whole thing work. That one match is Team Cena vs. Team Authority for Cena and company’s jobs vs. the Authority having power. The jobs were thrown in at the last minute to really hammer home who was going to win but that’s not always the worst thing. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Fandango vs. Justin Gabriel

This is the NEW AND IMPROVED Fandango, meaning he has Rosa Mendes and now wears a white shirt. We’re ready to go after the dance sequence that kills even more time. They slowly punch each other to start with Gabriel, who has skeleton tights for no apparent reason (JBL: “The leftovers from Giant Gonzalez.”), getting knocked to the floor.

Back in and Justin breaks out of a chinlock and gets two off a springboard kick to the face. For someone who flies around as much as Gabriel, the fans are almost totally silent. A suplex slam (as in a suplex where Fandango never left his feet) takes Gabriel down and the guillotine legdrop is good enough to put Justin away at 3:10.

Rating: D-. You know how Fandango still hasn’t done anything since his “rebirth” here? After this match it really surprises me that he still has a job as this was so horribly boring. Naturally they did the same match again the next night on Raw because maybe they just didn’t get the point across here. Really boring match.

Pre-Show: Cesaro vs. Jack Swagger

The battle of the former Real Americans. On the way to the ring, Cesaro talks about the history of Swiss neutrality before picking Team Authority. He proclaims his allegiance in various languages (which is NOTHING that could ever be capitalized in around the world) until Swagger and Colter come in to pick Team Cena. Swagger gets a quick rollup for two to start, earning himself a gutwrench suplex.

The Patriot Lock has Cesaro in early trouble but he’s still able to throw Swagger down with a German suplex. More suplexes set up a chinlock. Back up and Swagger grabs a German of his own, followed by a chop block to stay on the leg. The Vader Bomb is blocked but Swagger grabs the Patriot Lock. That goes nowhere and more Germans are rolled, only to have Swagger counter into the Patriot Lock again for the submission at 5:23.

Rating: C-. They crammed a lot of suplexes into just five minutes. This also shows you how much better a match can be if you have interesting people in there. Swagger isn’t the best in the world but there’s at least a reason to care about him and more than one note to his character. I’ll take Cesaro being all serious and speaking different languages over HE’S A DANCER IN A WHITE SHIRT any day.

The opening video recaps the main event, which was set up on Vince’s whim. That’s the problem with so much of what the Authority does: whatever happens can be changed by either the two of them or Vince because they’re the ultimate powers. No matter how the story goes, someone with power can come in and change anything at the drop of a hat. Why hasn’t Vince come back and changed something else on a whim? Eh no real reason other than the plot hasn’t called for it. That’s really bad writing.

Here’s Vince to open things up with talking. Vince talks (see, I told you that’s what he was going to do) about how epic this is really going to be and brings out the Authority because we haven’t heard from them in the first five minutes. The sucking up begins immediately but Vince cuts them off to bring out Cena.

Vince recaps the main event as we’re just burning through pay per view time here. Cena asks if the Authority will leave on their own accord if they lose tonight. HHH says that Cena is going to have a bad holiday because four men’s responsibilities will be on his head after tonight. Those four men are going to be forgotten about because they’re the ones with everything to lose. Cena will keep his job because he’s such a big star, but he’ll have that on his head forever.

Stephanie suggests that someone on Team Cena will turn on him because they have to think of themselves. She says the Authority will still have their jobs at headquarters and run things from afar, but Vince says not so fast. They’ll still have desk jobs and be in charge of different departments but they’ll have no authority on screen.

One more thing: if the Authority does lose tonight, only Cena can bring them back. That’s the moment where they gave away the ending and everyone knew the Authority would be back by the end of the year at the latest. Stephanie goes into full STEPHANIE IS SHOUTING mode but Cena says the Authority will lose tonight.

So to recap the recap (which took us to fifteen minutes into the show): the Authority will still have jobs and huge salaries but they just don’t have to deal with the headaches of running the show. On top of that, Cena can bring them back because FOREVER means until Cena says otherwise. This is all stuff that could have been done on Raw but why not waste pay per view time on it. I know their line is “But it’s a free month on the Network!” That’s not an excuse to do something stupid like this as it’s a really bad way to get the show going when this could have been done in five minutes on any given TV show.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Los Matadores vs. Goldust/Stardust

Goldust and Stardust (villains here) are defending and Mizdow is one of the most popular guys on the roster because of how hard he’s been working with the stunt double character. Diego and Stardust start things off as Cole reads Stardust’s latest riddle. A quick rollup gets two on Stardust before it’s off to Miz who is stopped by OLE! Mizdow does his stunt double stuff on the floor as JBL talks about Papa Shango putting a curse on Mizdow years ago. This isn’t a rousing start to the commentary tonight.

Miz won’t tag out, again missing the point of having a stunt double. Jey comes in to chop Diego but Goldust tags himself in and chinlocks the Samoan. The fans continue to want Mizdow but Stardust waves them off and uppercuts Jey instead. This time it’s Miz tagging himself in but Fernando tags Jey and flips off the top and onto Miz.

It’s FINALLY off to Mizdow, only to have Goldust tag himself in ten seconds later to bring the crowd back to silence. Lawler brings up a great point: if Mizdow comes in and Miz is on the apron, shouldn’t Mizdow just stand there? Stardust comes in and stomps Fernando before cranking on both arms to slow things down a bit. Goldust stomps Fernando on the floor (brothers think alike) and we hit the chinlock. Things stay slow as we hear about Grumpy Cat appearing on Raw. I had been trying to forget that guys.

Stardust loads up what looks like a Tombstone but Fernando spins out into a tornado DDT (good one too) and it’s off to Jimmy. Now we pick things up a bit with the Usos cleaning house with Umaga attacks and superkicks (and a shaking camera, which has happened multiple times tonight). Goldust powerslams Jimmy down for two but the double Uso dive takes down a few people.

There’s the Falling Star from Stardust, giving us this brilliant exchange: Cole: “That’s the Falling Star!” “JBL: “I have no idea what that is!” Cole: “It’s the Falling Star!” JBL: “I know!” Torito gets thrown onto the pile and Diego does the same. Back in and a quadruple Tower of Doom takes down Los Matadores and the champs, allowing Mizdow to tag himself in and pin Goldust for the titles at 15:25.

Rating: C. This was a big longer than it needed to be but the payoff was exactly what it needed to be. There was no reason to wait any longer on giving Mizdow something and this opens the door for some new possibilities in the story. The match was fun but they could have cut out a few minutes to make it flow better. It’s fun enough though (annoying commentary aside) and a good way to open the show, after the long talking of course.

Miz takes both titles and Mizdow keeps posing.

Larry the Cable Guy is guest hosting Raw. As usual, WWE is about ten years behind the pop culture times.

Vince will be on the Steve Austin Show. Now that could be entertaining and it kind of was if I remember correctly.

Adam Rose and the Bunny do a toy commercial until Heath Slater and Titus O’Neil come in to set up a match for later. Fans: “NO! NO! NO!” Is it bad that I miss the Bunny and wanted to see more of him?

Team Paige vs. Team Team Fox

Paige, Cameron, Summer Rae, Layla

Alicia Fox, Natalya, Emma, Naomi

Natalya is accompanied by Tyson Kidd, who clearly doesn’t care in a great short run character. Paige and Natalya start things off on the mat and we hit the King’s Court reference which turns into a discussion of Lawler having a foursome. Paige is sent to the floor for a quick spank from Natalya (because of course) before it’s off to Layla vs. Emma, neither of whom are still on the main roster. Lawler: “Emma could trip over cordless phones.” That’s not very hard to do King.

It’s back to Paige for a headbutt and THIS IS MY HOUSE. How can she afford this many houses? Cameron comes in to break up a tag attempt and this could go badly. The fans want Mizdow again and good grief it’s the Daniel Bryan story all over again. You just had him for fifteen minutes when he won a title. Be happy with what you got and shut up already. Emma rolls over and tags Naomi for the big showdown that no one wanted to see. Naomi runs through Cameron and a bad looking wheelbarrow Stunner gets two.

Everything breaks down and Cameron does an awful bulldog, allowing Naomi to roll her up for the elimination at 6:12. Summer kicks Naomi down to take over, only to miss a splash. Fox comes in as the announcers ignore the match to talk about old Survivor Series teams. The heels bail so Fox tries to get a CHICKEN chant started. It’s off to Layla for her bouncy cross body but a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gives Alicia the elimination at 9:29.

Summer comes in and misses a charge, allowing Natalya to dropkick her down. It’s off to Paige who takes over, only to have Summer do Paige’s scream and get decked as a result. Emma comes in for the Dilemma, a forearm to Paige on the apron and the Emma Lock for the submission on Summer at 12:04. So Paige is all alone and starts with Emma, who quickly faceplants her down. Natalya eats a superkick so it’s off to Naomi for the Rear View and the headscissors DDT for the final pin at 14:16.

Rating: D-. Oh sweet goodness the Divas Revolution needed to happen soon. This match felt like it was going on forever with almost none of them looking like they should have been out there this long. Between “CHICKEN! CHICKEN!” and Layla’s face offense under the guise of a heel and Cameron being the disaster that only she can be, this was horrible with Paige and Natalya not being able to hold it together.

Kidd, who didn’t do a thing all match, celebrates more than anyone else in a great touch. That’s the highlight of the last fifteen minutes.

We recap the pre-show, which also included the return of Bad News Barrett. As usual, Cesaro gets left out. The best part: Renee Young with long hair. I had forgotten about that and it says a lot that she’s just as beautiful with her hair hacked off.

The panel talks for a bit.

We recap Bray Wyatt vs. Dean Ambrose, which started when Wyatt targeted Ambrose in October for whatever reason Bray picks his next target. There was something about Dean’s dad being in prison but it was never really explained. Ambrose said he didn’t care why Wyatt did it anyway so it didn’t really matter. Tonight is the first match.

Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt

They slug it out to start (shocking) before heading outside (even more shocking) where Dean takes over with some clotheslines. Back in and Bray runs Dean over before knocking a dive out of the air with a right hand. I can never get used to Bray’s blood red tattoos as they always fool me. We hit a seated full nelson on Dean (always nice to see them mix up the rest holds) before he fights up for a double cross body.

They go outside for the third time for a double clothesline and both guys are down again. Back in and Dean takes over before doing Bray’s lean upside down out of the corner in a nice touch. Dean ties him in the ropes and kisses Bray on the head before a dropkick and legdrop get two. Bray counters the Rebound Lariat into a release Rock Bottom for two as this match really hasn’t taken off yet.

The middle rope backsplash misses because it would have killed Dean and the top rope elbow gets two for Ambrose. Back up and Bray EXPLODES with a clothesline and he makes it even worse with another Rock Bottom onto the steps. That’s only good for two so Bray grabs a mic and says they could have ruled the world together. Dean has chosen his path though so Bray grabs a chair and drops to his knees like he did with Cena at Wrestlemania. Dean isn’t Cena though and he hits Bray with the chair for the DQ at 14:00.

Rating: C+. Much like the Cena match at Wrestlemania, this felt a lot more like it was designed to set up something else (which it was) instead of being a big showdown. Bray’s babbling gets to the point where you stop caring what he’s talking about and that doesn’t make for the most interesting matches. No matter how you look at it, the whole thing always feels like you’re waiting on the next big thing, which gets repetitive in a hurry. It’s still a fun brawl though and got going after the first few minutes.

Post match Dean lays Bray out and elbows him through a table. That’s not enough for him as he buries Bray under another table and a pile of chairs. That’s only T and C though so why not pull out a ladder? Dean climbs the ladder but is all like “this is the free month so you have to pay to see me dive off.” Referees won’t let him shove the ladder onto the pile either.

The Authority gives their team a long pep talk, including Stephanie crying at the thought of only having a huge salary and working in an office. This is one of the problems of having such a big main event: there’s so much time to fill which certainly couldn’t have been filled with another Survivor Series match. This talk eats up WAY too much time and is summed up as “we’re betting everything we have tonight so win or else.”

Adam Rose/The Bunny vs. Heath Slater/Titus O’Neil

Slater and the Bunny get things going but Rose tags himself in quickly. Heath gets him on the mat before it’s off to Titus for some forearms to the back. Rose dives over and makes the tag. Lawler: “Maybe we should explain why there’s a bunny in the ring.” Cole: “Well it’s actually a man in a bunny suit.” Good grief just start speaking gibberish to us since they clearly think we’re that stupid. The Bunny pins Slater off a middle rope dropkick.

The Rosebuds leave with the Bunny.

More commercials. Counting the opener, the pep talk and all these commercials, there’s probably been seventeen minutes wasted, or about the same amount of time spent on a quick Survivor Series match.

The injured Roman Reigns has a satellite interview where he talks about wanting to be here punching people. We’ll make it nineteen minutes of filler. Reigns will be back in a month.

Team Cena says they’re ready.

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. AJ Lee

AJ is defending and Nikki has Brie as her unwilling assistant. After the big match intros and Brie gets on the apron for a distraction, followed by kissing AJ (and launching a thousand fanfics). The Rack Attack gives us a new champion at 38 seconds in the Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus finish. Allegedly this was the way the match was going the entire time and it wasn’t cut down, making me shake my head even more.

Of course the sisters are back together with an eventual explanation of “we’re sisters.”

Ambrose vs. Wyatt is announced for TLC in the namesake match.

We recap the main event. The Authority is all corrupt so Vince came in and said let’s put their power up against Team Cena. John put together a team of the few people who would fight with him so the Authority made them as miserable as they could. It’s a simple story but they’ve made this feel like a legitimately huge match.

Team Cena vs. Team Authority

John Cena, Big Show, Ryback, Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan

Seth Rollins, Kane, Rusev, Mark Henry, Luke Harper

Cena’s partners’ jobs vs. the Authority’s authority. Harper is Intercontinental Champion and Rusev is the undefeated US Champion. The eleven entrances eat up even more time but in a good way this time. They’ve done a really good job at making this feel like a big deal and it’s working well here. Henry and Show start but HHH has to get in one last pep talk, allowing Show to knock him out for the elimination at 50 seconds.

It’s Rollins in next but Show chops him down to the floor. Kane comes in but Show drags him into the corner for the tag off to Cena, who pounds on Kane even more. Now we get a showdown that the fans find bigger than it probably is with Rowan vs. Harper. This was during that short period where Rowan was a genius, which has been completely forgotten since. Rollins tags himself back in before anything can happen and is immediately caught in the wrong corner.

Ryback comes in to join in on the fun but Rollins tags out to Harper. That’s fine with Ryback as he grabs a vertical suplex, only to get punched in the face by Kane. The big bald is beaten down as well so we’ll try Rusev. A spinebuster ends the slugout but Shell Shock is broken up. Everything breaks down and it’s a Curb Stomp from Rollins and the jumping superkick from Rusev to eliminate Ryback and tie us up.

Show comes back in but Rusev escapes a quick chokeslam attempt and brings in Harper. A dropkick of all things puts Show down and it’s back to Kane for some stomping. Kane follows Harper’s suit with a (basement) dropkick, followed by the Gator Roll (he’s stopped using that) from Harper. Show throws Harper away too so it’s off to Ziggler, who Harper beat (through some shenanigans) to win the title.

The heels start taking over on Ziggler with Kane’s sidewalk slam getting two. A comeback is stopped by a boot to the face and it’s off to Rusev for some knees to the ribs. Ziggler tries to punch Rollins in the face but gets caught in a downward spiral into the corner. We hit the chinlock for a bit before the running DDT plants Rusev. Everything breaks down again and we hit the parade of finishers (always a favorite).

Rollins is thrown onto a pile but Rusev throws Ziggler onto that pile. It’s time to load up the announcers’ table but Rusev misses Ziggler and splashes through the table instead, leading to a countout at 21:02 to make it 4-3. Cole: “COUNTOUTS ARE A FACTOR! COUNTOUTS ARE A FACTOR! COME ON DOLPH! COME ON DOLPH! ZIGGLER’S IN! ZIGGLER’S IN! RUSEV IS OUT! RUSEV IS OUT!” Get the parrot a cracker and shut him up already.

Back in and the exhausted Ziggler tags Cena for a quick AA to Kane. Rollins makes the save with a Curb Stomp and everyone is down. A double tag brings in Harper and Rowan with Erick cleaning house. Kane’s chokeslam is broken up but the springboard knee from Rollins sets up Harper’s discus lariat to put Rowan out at 24:14. So it’s Show/Cena/Ziggler vs. Rollins/Kane/Harper and we get a big six man staredown….until Show KO’s Cena, turning heel again to fill his quota for the year. Rollins steals the pin to eliminate Cena at 25:11. Now THAT is a shock.

Show stares down at the Authority and then walks out at 26:30, leaving Ziggler down 3-1. Ziggler can barely stand after the long beating he took but it’s now the Shawn formula in 2005. The fans want Orton (who was put out by Rollins a few weeks ago but why have the hometown boy here to make the save when you can have him on a movie set instead? To make it worse, Stephanie chants “OH YEAH! OH YEAH! OH YEAH!” in what was supposed to be cheerleading.

Kane throws Ziggler into the barricade and Rollins drags him over to the corner for some tags to the eliminated partners. Kane’s superplex is broken up though and a quick superkick and Zig Zag make it 2-1 at 29:35. Harper is right in though and kicks Ziggler’s head off to send him outside, followed by a nice suicide shove. A great sounding superkick gets two on Ziggler and the sitout powerbomb amazingly only gets the same. Ziggler somehow grabs a rollup (and jeans) for a fast elimination at 31:35, leaving us one on one.

Dolph can barely stand but he still grabs a DDT for two. Rollins has way more gas though and hammers Ziggler down, only to miss a top rope knee. The Fameasser gets two out of nowhere as HHH and Stephanie are losing their minds on the outside. Noble and Mercury are dispatched and the Zig Zag connects but HHH pulls the referee out at two.

The J’s are dispatched again and Stephanie is knocked off the apron (onto HHH of course because Heaven forbid she not have a soft landing). Another Curb Stomp misses and there’s a second Zig Zag for two with HHH breaking up the pin one more time. HHH beats on Ziggler for a bit and hits a Pedigree…..and there’s a crow.

In one of the biggest surprises of all time, STING makes his WWE debut (with JBL listing off his resume to make sure you know this was planned in advance) and HHH is in shock. Sting decks HHH’s crooked referee and does the big staredown with HHH, setting up the Death Drop (sold really well too). Sting pulls Ziggler on top of Rollins (who hasn’t moved in over six minutes) for the final pin at 44:07.

Rating: A. I liked this even better knowing what was coming. They did a really good job of setting up the story here as both teams were in enough trouble at different points to keep it interesting with the Cena elimination being the biggest of them all. I was genuinely surprised when that happened and it holds up well enough as a moment today. The near falls near the end were great as well, making this a really great match. This should have been a total star making performance for Ziggler but since WWE is in charge, it was pretty much forgotten in about a month.

HHH looks like reality sets in while Stephanie shows her horrible acting skills one more time. For once I’m fine with the focus being on them but good grief that screeching is killing it. On top of that, everyone knew they would be back sooner than later and it didn’t even last a month.

Overall Rating: B-. This is the definition of a one match show and thankfully that one match delivered because the rest of this show was pretty horrible. Everything from the end of Ambrose vs. Wyatt to the start of the main event was a waste of time or boring, as was so often the case in WWE at this point. The main event bails the show out, but that’s the ONLY thing worth watching on here.

Ratings Comparison

Fandango vs. Justin Gabriel

Original: D

2015 Redo: D-

Cesaro vs. Jack Swagger

Original: C-

2015 Redo: C-

Usos vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Goldust/Stardust vs. Los Matadores

Original: C+

2015 Redo: C

Team Paige vs. Team Fox

Original: D-

2015 Redo: D-

Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt

Original: B-

2015 Redo: C+

Slater Gator vs. Adam Rose/The Bunny

Original: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella

Original: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Team Cena vs. Team Authority

Original: B+

2015 Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C

2015 Redo: B-

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/11/23/survivor-series-2014-i-believe-it/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Survivor Series 2014
Date: November 23, 2014
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re finally to one of the biggest one match shows I can ever remember. THey aren’t even trying to hide the fact that this is all about the main event this year and it’s taken a lot to get through the rest of the card as a result. Obviously this is about Team Cena vs. the Authority with the future of both groups on the line. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Fandango vs. Justin Gabriel

Fandango is new and improved, meaning he now has Rosa in his corner, comes out to what sounds like Spanish music and wrestles in an open chest sweater. Gabriel gets knocked out to the floor as the announcers talk about his skeleton themed pants. Justin comes back with a kick to the face for two but Fandango takes his head off with a clothesline. A release suplex sets up Fandango’s top rope legdrop for the pin at 3:26.

Rating: D. As usual, Rosa was the most entertaining thing out there. This was the same Fandango we’ve seen for nearly two years now and he’s somehow less interesting than he was before. The sweater doesn’t make me care about him any more and he’s just as generic in the ring as he was before he left. Not much to see here.

Bad News Barrett comes out for the first time in months. His topic of course is the main event and he has some bad news for Cena: if the Authority wins, Cena’s life is going to be a nightmare. On the other hand, if the Authority loses, the WWE will never be lost in the era of Bad News Barrett. This was actually something close to a face promo.

Pre-Show: Jack Swagger vs. Cesaro

This is an added match. Cesaro comes out to talk about being neutral like Switzerland when Zeb and Swagger come out to say if Cesaro is on Team Authority, he and Jack are on Team Cena. Swagger grabs him by the ribs to start but Cesaro grabs a suplex to take over. A double stomp is countered into the Patriot Lock though and Cesaro is in early trouble. He kicks Swagger out to the floor though before Swagger charges back in and goes shoulder first into the post.

A German suplex puts Swagger down again and another suplex gets two. Cesaro drops a middle rope elbow for the same and we hit the chinlock. Swagger quickly fights up and loads the Vader Bomb but has to stop and grab the Patriot Lock instead. They’re too close to the ropes though and Cesaro starts rolling Germans. Swagger rolls through again and puts on the third Patriot Lock for the submission at 5:23.

Rating: C-. The match was better than Fandango’s as I have a reason to care about these guys but it was still nothing great. We’ve seen these guys fight so many times now that it’s hard to get interested in yet another match. It’s nice to see Swagger win, but this is another match that could have been on the main show to flesh out the card a bit.

The opening video was all about the main event which I’m sure you’ve heard by now. Literally, nothing else was even mentioned. There’s usually some history if nothing else.

Here’s Vince to open the show. He does his usual enthusiastic welcome and brings out the Authority for a chat. HHH talks about how Vince is the reason we’re here and the Authority starts a Vince chant. The boss cuts them off and asks Vince to come out here. Vince says that tonight, Cena is in charge of four men’s lives. HHH takes over and says that when Team Cena loses tonight, four men are going to be out of work and quickly forgotten.

Stephanie says that if their team loses, they’ll still be running the show, just not from Raw. “Right Dad?” Vince: “Not exactly.” Apparently if HHH and Stephanie lose tonight, they have no authority over any WWE Superstar. Actually, there’s only one man that could ever bring them back to power.

Stephanie immediately starts sucking up to her dad but Vince says the decision will lie with Cena. Stephanie goes into her I’M A MCMAHON speech but Cena cuts her off and says she’s gone tonight. Cena grabs the mic and says that after they’re gone, just like the song says, there is NO CHANCE that he’ll bring them back.

Tag Team Titles: Los Matadores vs. Goldust/Stardust vs. Usos vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow

The opening bell is over 22 minutes into the show. Goldust and Stardust are defending with one fall to a finish. Diego cranks on Stardust’s arm to start before it’s quickly off to Miz vs. Fernando. Mizdow is doing the exact same things on the floor as he’s known to do. Miz gets slammed off the top, so Mizdow goes up top and flips himself off for good measure. The fans want Mizdow to come in but Miz isn’t quite ready for the tag yet.

Instead it’s off to Jimmy for some armdrags on Fernando before it’s quickly off to Jey for some chops. Stardust low bridges Jey to the floor and the champs take over in the corner. The fans still want Mizdow but get the drop down uppercut from Stardust instead. Jey tries a sunset flip but Miz tags himself in to take over. Jey falls into the corner for a tag to Diego as this is almost impossible to keep up with. The Backstabber gets two on Miz but he comes right back with a clothesline to Diego.

Miz takes him into the corner and still won’t tag Damien. The running clothesline in the corner is finally enough to make him tag Mizdow but Goldust tags himself in before Damien can do anything. Diego and Goldust trade rollups until Diego is sent into the corner for some double teaming by the champions. Stardust comes in to crank on the arms before scoring with a clothesline. He tells the fans they want him instead of Mizdow before he sends Diego out to the floor.

Goldust scores with a clothesline on the floor before throwing him back inside for a chinlock. Stardust goes up for a sunset flip on Goldust who is holding Diego in a German suplex for a big catapult spot. Diego sends him to the apron but Stardust shoves Fernando into the post. Back in and Diego counters what looked to be a tombstone attempt into a spinning DDT to drop Stardust.

It’s off to Jimmy vs. Goldust with the Samoan taking over before tagging in Jey for the running Umaga attack in the corner. A bunch of superkicks drop Stardust but Diego breaks up the double dive. Goldust powerslam Jimmy for two but Jey nails him with an enziguri. Now the Usos hit the double dive but Stardust hits the Falling Star onto both of them.

Fernando launches Torito onto everyone before Diego dives onto everyone plus the bull. Goldust breaks up Fernando’s dive as Diego gets back in. All four go up for a big Tower of Doom with Fernando taking the worst of it. Jimmy comes in with the Superfly Splash but Miz sends Jimmy into the post. Mizdow tags himself in and pins Fernando for the pin and the titles at 15:25.

Rating: C+. The match was entertaining and the absolutely right call, but they needed to cut some time out of this. This was the kind of match where it was clear that they were just trying to fill in time and those things get old in a hurry. It took awhile to get going but it was solid once it sped up. Mizdow getting the pin is the perfect ending too.

Miz celebrates with both belts.

Vince McMahon and Steve Austin will be doing a live Steve Austin Show next Monday after Raw.

Adam Rose and the Bunny are in the back with the Exotic Express. They’re going to settle their differences by playing with the latest WWE toys. Rose reminds the Bunny where he was before Rose found him. The Bunny wins in about five seconds so Titus O’Neil and Heath Slater come in to laugh at Rose. Adam says the Bunny worships him and a tag match is made for later. Fans: “NO! NO! NO!”

Paige/Cameron/Summer Rae/Layla vs. Emma/Natalya/Alicia Fox/Naomi

Elimination tag. Natalya and Paige get things going and we already have a Nattie’s Husband chant. Paige is quickly sent to the floor as we get the required Cheesy/Sleazy/Queasy reference. Lawler even gets the year wrong. Paige sends Natalya into the corner so it’s off to Layla vs. Emma. They trade rollups with Emma being rather clumsy, allowing Layla to roll her up for two.

Emma gets caught in the heel corner and stomped by Paige a bit. Paige spends a lot of time trash talking though and takes a HARD forearm to the head. They head to the top with Emma hitting a nice superplex but Paige is right next to the corner for a tag to Cameron. The screeching begins and Cameron can barely slap Emma right. The fans want Mizdow again as Emma gets two off a backslide.

Naomi tags herself in and kicks Cameron across the ring. A cross body gets no cover but a Stunner of all things gets two on Cameron. Everything breaks down and everyone nails everyone else until Cameron hits a horrible bulldog on Natalya, only to have Naomi hook a nice bridging rollup to eliminate Cameron. Summer comes in but runs from a kick to the face. Naomi kicks her anyway but gets pulled down by the hair. Back up and Summer knocks all of her opponents off the apron, only to have Fox come in and run her over a few times.

Fox cross bodies Paige and loads up a dive to the floor but all of her opponents back up. Summer gets in, gets screamed at, and tags out to Layla. The Brit (Layla) laughs at Fox for climbing down a second ago and gets smacked in the face. A northern lights suplex gets two on Layla but she comes back with her bouncing cross body.

Fox nails a quick backbreaker and it’s 4-2. Paige comes in for some cheap shots but it’s quickly off to Natalya vs. Summer. Natalya runs her over with a discus lariat and a low dropkick but Paige trips her up from the floor. Summer gets in some cheap shots on the apron but stops to mock Paige, only to have Paige knock her off the apron.

It’s off to Emma vs. Summer with Emma hooking the Dilemma (Tarantula) for a few seconds. The Emma Sandwich (cross body in the corner) sets up the Emma Lock (bridging Indian Deathlock) to make Summer tap. It’s Paige vs. all four opponents and the fans are completely in her corner. Paige tries to leave but Emma catches her like she stole something. That’s not cool with Paige who runs Emma over but it’s quickly off to Natalya, who promptly eats a boot to the face. Naomi comes in with the Rear View and a headscissors faceplant to FINALLY end this at 14:16.

Rating: D-. This was terrible as they were clearly just filling time and had almost no business being on a show this big. The girls were mostly sloppy with Cameron being as close to a disaster as you can get. They would have been much better off just having Naomi vs. Paige but why do that when you can get eight Divas out there to ruin a match?

We recap Fandango’s return and Bad News Barrett’s speech from the pre-show.

The expert panel of Booker T., Paul Heyman and Alex Riley talk about the new stipulations for the main event.

We recap Ambrose vs. Wyatt. Bray Wyatt cost Ambrose his match inside the Cell and started talking about Dean’s childhood where he was abandoned by his father and forced to live a hard life. Dean basically said he wanted to hurt Wyatt and that’s about it.

Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt

Dean drives him into the corner to start and hammers away with right hands and kicks to the gut. Wyatt comes back with a right hand of his own and they head outside with Dean hitting a nice running forearm off the apron. Back in and Bray takes him down with the running cross body for two as things slow down a bit. They head outside again with Dean going up, only to dive into a right hand to put him down again. Bray stomps Dean’s hands on the steps before taking him back inside for two.

We hit a full nelson on the mat but Dean bites the fingers to escape. That’s fine with Bray who just runs Ambrose over again. They head outside yet again for a double clothesline before slowly crawling back inside. Dean hammers away with forearms to the head and some running elbows before doing Bray’s upside down pose in the corner. Dirty Deeds is broken up but Dean has to counter Sister Abigail into a rollup for two.

With Bray’s feet on the ropes, Dean ties the arms into the ropes for a running dropkick, followed by a legdrop to the back of the head for two. Back up and a big slam gets two for Bray but he misses a middle rope backsplash. Ambrose goes up top and connects with a top rope elbow, even though Bray was standing up. That’s a new one.

Bray gets up and knocks Dean’s head off with a clothesline, sending Ambrose out to the floor. The release Rock Bottom puts Dean onto the steps but Ambrose somehow kicks out. Bray heads back outside and grabs the mic. He asks Dean why he’s doing this and shouts that it didn’t have to be like this.

They could have ruled the world together and there’s nothing anyone back there could do to touch them. Ambrose has chosen his path and there’s a microphone shot to the head. Bray finds some chairs under the ring but Dean takes one away. Wyatt drops to his knees like he did to Cena at Wrestlemania and Dean nails him in the ribs for the DQ at 14:00.

Rating: B-. This took its time to get going but turned into a violent brawl after awhile. They’re clearly setting up something else for this feud and I’m glad they didn’t give it a clean ending here. Ambrose is much more of a monster than Cena was going to be so the ending makes sense here. These two in a wild brawl could work really well.

Ambrose hits Dirty Deeds onto the chair and loads Bray on a table. A top rope elbow puts both guys through the wood but Dean isn’t done. He puts another table on top of Bray and covers it up with chairs. With Wyatt not moving, Ambrose pulls out a ladder. He climbs on top of it….and stands there as his music plays. Dean climbs down and teases shoving the ladder onto Bray but referees stop him.

HHH and Stephanie give Team Authority a long pep talk. The gist of it is if they lose, the team’s lives will be destroyed.

Slater Gator vs. Adam Rose/The Bunny

The Bunny starts but Rose tags in before anything happens. Slater kicks Adam’s head off to start before it’s off to Titus for some throws into the corner. Adam dives over for the tag to the Bunny as the announcers make rabbit jokes. With Adam demanding a tag, the Bunny hits a middle rope dropkick for the pin on Slater at 2:25.

Roman Reigns is here via satellite and says he’s getting better every single day. He’d rather be here with us and asks the fans if they want to know what he’d do if here were there. Reigns would cock back his fist and make it reign in the arena. JBL says Reigns isn’t here but Seth Rollins is here in the main event. How would Reigns feel if Team Authority won. Reigns calls that a stupid question as he threw a cinder block at Seth’s head. It doesn’t matter what happens tonight because in a month, either team might be out, but he’ll be back at that time.

Team Cena is in the back and they all know what they signed up for. Well we’re assuming Rowan does as he’s playing with a Rubik’s Cube. Cena says there’s one thing left to do when Rowan stands up and says win.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella

AJ is defending and Nikki has her sister Brie as an assistant. We get big match intros and Brie gets up on the apron with with title in her hand. She kisses AJ, allowing Nikki to get in a cheap shot and the Rack Attack gives us a new champ at 38 seconds in the Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan ending from Wrestlemania XXVIII.

Indeed, the Bellas are back together.

We recap Ambrose vs. Wyatt, who will be in a TLC match three weeks from tonight.

Long recap of the main event. I’m assuming you get the idea by this point.

Team Cena vs. Team Authority

John Cena, Ryback, Erick Rowan, Big Show, Dolph Ziggler

Seth Rollins, Kane, Luke Harper, Rusev, Mark Henry

Rusev is US Champion and Harper is Intercontinental Champion. The Authority and Stooges are at ringside of course. Henry and Big Show get things going with Mark shouting that he’s going to hurt everyone. HHH and Stephanie stay on the apron for support but Henry charges right into the KO Punch to make it 5-4 in less than a minute. Harper drops to the floor and tries to sneak up on Show but it’s a decoy for Rollins to come in from behind. HHH is dejected and sitting in a chair with his tie off.

Rollins has exactly as much luck against Show as you would expect and it’s off to Kane. Show sends him into the corner and it’s Cena in to hammer away. A dropkick puts Kane down so he tags in Harper, who gets to face Rowan. The fans are behind Erick but we’re not quite ready yet as Seth tags himself in. That’s fine with Rowan who hammers away in the corner and crushes him with a splash. A slam plants Rollins and it’s off to Ryback for a back drop.

Harper comes in and takes a delayed vertical suplex so it’s quickly off to Kane. Ryback Thesz presses him down and gets two off a splash. We get a showdown between Ryback and Rusev with the champ quickly getting slammed down. There’s the Meat Hook but Rusev escapes the Shell Shock and sends Ryback into a boot from Kane. Everything breaks down and it’s a huge brawl with Rollins hitting the Curb Stomp on Ryback. The running superkick from Rusev is enough to eliminate Ryback and tie things up.

Things settle down and it’s Rusev vs. Big Show, because this has gone so well for the giant recently. It’s quickly off to Harper who gets thrown around the corner, only to come back with a dropkick to put Show down. Rollins comes in for some cheap shots before it’s off to Kane for a bunch of stomps. Back to Harper for the Gator Roll before we hit the chinlock. Show fights up and makes the tag to Ziggler as things speed up. Dolph nails Rollins off the apron but charges into the sitout Boss Man Slam for two.

The Authority takes over on Ziggler with Rusev throwing him down for two. Off to Kane for the side slam and big boot for two each. Rusev comes in again to talk Russian trash but Dolph comes back with right hands to the head. Rollins takes him back down again and the slow destruction continues. A release Downward Spiral into the corner gets two on Dolph and we hit the chinlock.

Back to Rusev who runs into the DDT for two but Harper makes the save. Cena comes in with an AA to Harper but Kane chokeslams him. Show chokeslams Kane but Rollins takes him down with the springboard knee. Rowan backdrops Seth onto everyone else but Rusev nails him with a spinwheel kick. Ziggler’s Fameasser to Rusev is countered and Rusev throws him onto about six people at ringside. Rusev loads up the announcers’ table and sets Ziggler for a splash but Dolph moves, sending Rusev crashing through the wood. Only Ziggler beats the count and we’re down to 4-3. That’s one of the only ways to get rid of Rusev.

Back in and Cena gets the hot tag to go after Kane with the usual. The AA connects but Rollins nails a quick Curb Stomp. The referee is totally fine with all of this as Cole is losing his mind. The double tag brings in Harper and Rowan for the showdown we’ve been waiting to see for DAYS. Rowan cleans house and nails a spin kick on Harper but everything breaks down again. Rollins comes in for another Curb Stomp to Rowan, setting up the discus lariat from Harper to tie things up.

We’re down to Show/Cena/Ziggler vs. Kane/Rollins/Harper. We get the showdown and Show turns heel by knocking out Cena….FOR A PIN??? Cena is out and we’re down to 3-2. Show shakes HHH’s hand and walks out, effectively making it 3-1. The fans want Orton as Cena wakes up and realizes what’s going on. Stephanie shouts “OH YEAH OH YEAH OH YEAH” and fails at having any sort of rhythm.

Ziggler gets thrown into the barricade by Kane for two back inside. Off to Harper as Cena has left like he’s supposed to. Rollins comes in a few seconds later and takes Ziggler to the corner, telling him to tag his partners. Back to Kane as the domination continues. Kane loads up a superplex but gets shoved down and cross bodied for two. The superkick and Zig Zag take out Kane and it’s 2-1.

Harper comes in and kicks Dolph’s head off, knocking him out to the floor. A big suicide dive takes Dolph out again as Cole is cheering for Ziggler more than he ever did for Miz. Harper brings Dolph back inside for a superkick but Dolph kicks out again. A Batista Bomb gets the same and Harper is getting frustrated. Dolph grabs a rollup out of nowhere (and a handful of jeans) to tie things up. That probably gets him a rematch for the title at TLC as well.

It’s Rollins vs. Ziggler and Seth comes in to stomp away. He throws Dolph to the floor and into the barricade as Ziggler is on fumes. Back in and Ziggler grabs a small package for two and a quick DDT gets the same. The fans are WAY into these near falls. HHH is losing his mind at ringside as Rollins just lays in right hands to the head. Seth goes up but Ziggler runs the corner, only to get shoved down. A super Curb Stomp misses and the Fameasser gets an even closer two.

The Zig Zag is countered but the Stooges offer a distraction. The second attempt connects on Rollins but HHH takes the referee out. Now the Stooges come in for the beatdown but they screw up as only Stooges can. Ziggler throws Mercury into Stephanie, knocking her into her husband. The Buckle Bomb is countered and the Zig Zag connects. A second referee comes in for the count but HHH breaks it up AGAIN.

He hammers on Dolph and nails a huge clothesline before planing Ziggler with a Pedigree. Rollins is laid on top as referee #3 (crooked Scott Armstrong) comes out……BUT WE HAVE STING! He slowly walks out and nails Armstrong before staring down HHH. The fans find this awesome as they circle each other very slowly. HHH swings but Sting lays him out with the Death Drop. Ziggler and Rollins (who hasn’t moved an inch for about eight minutes after a single Zig Zag) are still down but Sting throws Ziggler on top of him for the pin at 42:08.

Rating: B+. Sting just debuted. You think ANY of the rest of this matters?

Ok for the sake of covering it: the match wasn’t great but they had me freaking out at the end with those near falls and then the crow sounding to have Sting come out. Above all but one thing (which should be obvious), this was about Ziggler instead of Cena, who wasn’t out there for the last fifteen minutes or so. This is the biggest rub Ziggler has ever had and the question now is where he goes with it. That’s a great way to end a show and one heck of a rub.

Cena comes out to hug Ziggler and help him to the back. The fans sing the Goodbye Song to the Authority as Stephanie shouts that THIS IS NOT OVER as the show ends.

Overall Rating: C. That main event and the surprise bring this WAY up as this was looking to be one of the worst shows in a long time until the main event. It’s the definition of a one match show (mostly at least) but just like many a Royal Rumble before it, that one match dragged the show up. It’s a rare thing that I can feel my heart beating at the end of a match but that’s exactly what happened during that last sequence. Awesome ending to a bad show.

Results

Miz/Damien Mizdow b. Usos, Los Matadores and Goldust/Stardust – Mizdow pinned Fernando after a Superfly Splash from Jimmy

Naomi/Natalya/Alicia Fox/Emma b. Cameron/Layla/Summer Rae/Paige – Headscissors faceplant to Paige

Bray Wyatt b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Ambrose used a chair

Adam Rose/The Bunny b. Slater Gator – Middle rope dropkick to Slater

Nikki Bella b. AJ Lee – Rack Attack

Team Cena b. Team Authority – Zig Zag to Rollins

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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