Smackdown
Date: March 15, 2024
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Corey Graves, Wade Barrett

The Rock is here again and that alone makes this feel important. With just over three weeks before Wrestlemania, the show is really starting to come together and there is a good chance that we’ll get a few more adjustments this week. That might include a battle of the Usos being set so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Seth Rollins and Cody Rhodes agreeing to face the Bloodline at Wrestlemania with quite the set of stipulations. Rhodes slapped Rock to end the show, making things a lot more serious.

Here is the Rock to get things going. After a long introduction, Rock says he usually torches every city he’s in, but this week is different. He started his career right here in Memphis on Channel 5 (big pop for that) and then at the Big Top Flea Market. Rock was Flex Kavana back then (he doesn’t get it either but he went with it) and now he is back home. Since this is the home of the blues and country, we’re going to have a little song tonight.

With some musical accompaniment, Rock sits down for a song about what he’s going to be doing to Seth Rollins and Cody Rhodes. Rock threatens to beat them both, maybe even with his fanny pack, but he might even go after Mama Rhodes. That leads him into a musical story about how Cody was conceived (complete with a Stardust picture) due to cheap condoms.

As for Rollins, yeah he’s weird but he’s not even as popular as his wife. We get a shot at Memphis Grizzlies star Ja Morant before mocking the Cody Crybabies. The song ends and the fans cheer for Rock, who just mocked all of them because evil Rock is too good to overcome. Rock talks about the slap from Cody and brings up Cody crying about being able to hand the title to his mother. That brings Rock to Mama Rhodes, with Rock promising to make Cody pay both nights at Wrestlemania.

The only belt Cody is going to get is a weightlifting belt that Rock pulls out, which he is going to use to beat Cody bloody. Then after Roman Reigns beats Cody, rock is going to hand it over to Mama Rhodes and say….what can I say except you’re welcome. If you smell what the final boss is cooking. This was pure Rock charisma and it’s no wonder that the fans were going nuts for him after every mean and horrible thing he said.

Wrestlemania Tag Team Title Qualifying Quarterfinals: Legado del Fantasma vs. LWO

Angel chops del Toro up against the rope to start and hands it off to Berto, who misses a charge into the corner. Wilde comes in for a double basement superkick, setting up the double running flip dives as we…don’t take a break for a change. A double elbow and assisted springboard moonsault gets two on Berto and now we take the break.

Back with Berto elbowing del Toro for two and knocking him into the corner. A double middle rope gorilla press slam gets two on del Toro but he’s right back with a Spanish Fly for a breather. Wilde comes in to clean house but Angel throws him into a kick to the ribs from Berto for the pin at 9:10.

Rating: C+. This is one of the good ideas of a series of qualifying matches like this one as you can throw a bunch of established feuds out there with fresh stakes. The match wasn’t anything break but having people flying around all over the place is always a good way to go. It’s the kind of thing that has worked forever in wrestling and it worked well again here.

Here is LA Knight for a chat. After taking the mic from Kayla Braxton, Knight talks about how he’s been looking for AJ Styles, who thinks Knight needs to be humbled. Well he’s standing right here, so why not come out here and humble him? There’s no Styles, which doesn’t shock Knight at all. Styles will go all the way to Australia but he can’t come to Memphis? Knight says if Styles can’t show up here, how about he shows up at Wrestlemania? We get the catchphrase and here is Styles to jump him with a chair and accept. This was checking off a box that was all set to go.

We look at Randy Orton attacking KSI and sending Logan Paul running last week.

Paul comes in to see Nick Aldis and wants to know what kind of punishment Orton is facing after last week. Aldis thinks Paul should request that apology in person, which Paul doesn’t like. How can he expect Aldis to do his job when he can’t even find Paul a Wrestlemania opponent? That’s a rookie mistake if I’ve ever heard of one.

Summerslam is coming to Cleveland.

A fired up Jimmy Uso accepts Jey Uso’s challenge for Wrestlemania.

Randy Orton vs. Grayson Waller

Austin Theory is here with Waller. Orton spends so much time posing that Waller gets annoyed but here is Logan Paul to interrupt/join commentary. Waller jumps him to start but Orton hammers away in the corner, only to be dumped outside. Orton takes over out there as well but stops to glare at Paul, allowing Waller to send him into the announcers’ table.

We take a break and come back with Orton fighting out of a cravate. Orton hits the powerslam and they go outside, where Waller is dropped onto the announcers’ table a few times. Theory’s distract fails and it’s the hanging DDT but Waller bails before the RKO. Instead Orton drops Theory and now the RKO can finish Waller at 7:37.

Rating: C. Not bad here as Orton was never going to be in any serious danger to Waller, even with Theory out there. We’re pretty clearly moving towards Paul vs. Orton, with Kevin Owens possibly involved as well, so keeping Orton looking strong over a goon is a good way to go. They didn’t have a great match or anything here, but they did what they needed to.

Post match the beatdown is on but Kevin Owens makes the save. Cue Nick Aldis to announce a triple threat match for the US Title, with Orton and Owens getting the title shots. Paul: “Oh no.”

We look at Bayley being thrown out of Damage CTRL on the way to her title shot at Wrestlemania.

Dakota Kai is ready to destroy Bayley before she can get to Iyo Sky at Wrestlemania. Damage CTRL runs the show.

Santos Escobar vs. Dragon Lee

The rest of Legado del Fantasma is here with Escobar. Lee wastes no time in knocking him to the floor for a running flip dive. A running hurricanrana takes Berto off the apron but Lee walks into the Phantom Driver for the pin at 1:58. Remember when Lee was the next big thing earlier this year?

Post match the beatdown is on but Carlito makes the save. He’s taken out as well but Rey Mysterio makes the real save. Mysterio issues the challenge to Escobar for next week and promises to slap the smile off his face.

Wrestlemania Tag Team Title Qualifying Quarterfinals: Pretty Deadly vs. New Catch Republic

Bate and Dunne take turns working on Wilson’s arm to start with Dunne shifting over to the fingers for some extra pain. Wilson manages to send Dunne outside though and Prince gets in a cheap shot to take over. Back in and Dunne fights out of trouble without much effort, allowing the tag to Bate for the house cleaning. The very spinning airplane spin has Prince in trouble and we take a break.

We come back with Bate muscling Wilson up with a suplex, allowing the tag back to Dunne to pick up the pace. Prince has to escape an armbar and it’s back to Bate for stereo kicks to the head in the corner. Wilson makes the save and everything breaks down, with the Republic being sent into the post. A middle rope bulldog/face plant combination gets two on Bate but Dunne is back up. The Birminghammer finish Prince at 13:11.

Rating: C+. Good match here with Pretty Deadly getting in more offense than I would have expected. This sends the Republic on to a match with Legado del Fantasma for a spot in the six way at Wrestlemania, which is quite the complicated setup. I’m not even sure how many quality teams there are for such a match, but at least we’ll have one smaller team in there for some impressive looking insanity.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Bayley vs. Dakota Kai

The rest of Damage CTRL is here with Kai. Bayley wastes no time in starting the beating but stops to glare at Damage CTRL. That’s enough for Kai to get in a slap, which earns her a drive into the corner. The fans chant for NXT’s Trick Williams for some reason as Bayley sends her face first into the apron to take over. Kai is down on the floor and gets surrounded by Damage CTRL as we take a break.

Back with Asuka offering a distraction so Kai can get in a standing double stomp out of the corner. Bayley knocks her off the top though and there’s the top rope elbow for two. Sane gets in another cheap shot though and it’s Kai kicking Bayley in the face. A powerbomb out of the corner plants Kai but Sky comes in with the belt for the staredown. Kai grabs Bayley’s leg and Sky decks Bayley for the DQ at 7:33.

Rating: C. That’s a bit of a weird way to go as you would think that Bayley could use a win on the way to Wrestlemania. Kai is fresh back in the ring after her injury but it’s not like she is anywhere near Bayley’s level in the first place. Damage CTRL coming in is a fine way to go, but I’m a bit surprised by the lack of Bayley getting a pin.

Post match the beatdown is on so here is Naomi, who gets beaten down as well. The fans chant for Bianca Belair but have to settle for Sky hitting Over The Moonsault to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Well you can’t say they didn’t get a lot done. This show had the rather snazzy opening from the Rock plus three Wrestlemania matches being announced. That’s quite the use of two hours and as usual, it shows that things can go well even when the wrestling was just ok. Wrestlemania is shaping up and now we have a few more weeks to really set things up for Philadelphia.

Results
Legado del Fantasma b. LWO – Kick to the ribs to Wilde
Randy Orton b. Grayson Waller – RKO
Santos Escobar b. Dragon Lee – Phantom Driver
New Catch Republic b. Pretty Deadly – Birminghammer to Prince
Bayley b. Dakota Kai via DQ when Iyo Sky interrupted

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: March 8, 2024
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Corey Graves, Wade Barrett

We are in for a big one tonight as we have a major showdown between the Bloodline and Cody Rhodes/Seth Rollins. The latter will be answering a challenge for a tag match on night one of Wrestlemania, with the stipulations for Roman Reigns vs. Rhodes on the line. That should be enough to carry things this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video recaps the challenge for the tag match: if Rock/Reigns win, anything goes in Reigns vs. Rhodes, but if Rollins/Rhodes win, the Bloodline is barred from ringside.

The major parties arrived.

Here is US Champion Logan Paul to get things going. He talks about making his Wrestlemania debut in Dallas but seems to get a bit annoyed at the WHATing. Paul brags about his various accomplishments (including five star matches) and talks about all of the record business that he has brought to WWE. He is the secret sauce and business is booming.

You could say WWE is in its prime….and we have a Prime Hydration logo on the mat (a first for WWE). Cue Prime co-founder KSI for the photo-op but here is Randy Orton from behind with the threat of an RKO. Paul escapes but KSI gets dropped with said RKO instead. Orton tries some Prime and says it’s very good….before pouring it onto KSI.

WWE has reached 100 million YouTube subscribers. That’s not bad.

Randy Orton/Kevin Owens vs. Grayson Waller/Austin Theory

Owens headlocks Theory to start and gives a quick crotch chop to Waller on the apron. An armbar has Theory down, with Owens shouting that NO ONE LIKES Waller. Orton comes in and easily takes Waller into the corner for some rained down right hands. It’s back to Owens for the running corner clothesline but Theory clotheslines him outside as we take a break.

Back with Owens getting double suplexed but Theory tries an RKO for some reason. This goes as well as expected and Owens brings Orton back in to clean house. The hanging DDT plants Waller but the RKO is broken up. Owens comes back in and tosses Theory into an RKO to give Orton the pin at 9:47.

Rating: C. This wasn’t a great match but it was the kind of fun that opened the show up in a nice way. Orton and Owens aren’t going to be in any serious danger from Theory and Waller but it’s fun to see the villains getting beaten up. If nothing else, it’s nice to see one of those special RKO’s and Owens tossing Theory into one looked great.

Post match Logan Paul jumps Orton and Owens but Orton takes away the brass knuckles and sends Paul running (nearly punching Owens in the process but hitting the brakes in time).

We recap Dakota Kai turning on Bayley and sticking with Damage CTRL.

We get a sitdown interview with Bayley, who says she is hanging on by a thread. She isn’t sure what was real with Kai, who used her most vulnerable moments against her. Bayley did most of her things to get Damage CTRL to the top but now they have made the biggest mistake of their lives by underestimating her. She will do everything she can to break them.

Naomi is watching Bayley’s interview when Bianca Belair comes in. Belair says Bayley should only blame herself for what happened but Naomi feels bad for her. That wasn’t the nicest from Belair.

Karrion Kross vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is billed from Dallas, which I do not ever remember being the case before. Scarlett is the only person here with either of them so this is a bit more serious. Lashley knocks him into the corner to start but Kross punches his way out of trouble. A fisherman’s suplex drops Lashley but he’s right back with an overhead belly to belly to take it to the floor.

The ram into the post is loaded up, only to have Scarlett offer a distraction so Kross can post him instead as we take a break. Back with Lashley powering out of a cross armbreaker before being knocked outside. Lashley is fine enough to send him into the post but the Hurt Lock is broken up back inside. A spinebuster plants Kross instead…and the AOP run in to jump Lashley for the DQ at 8:39.

Rating: C. They were having a nice enough power brawl but this feud hasn’t been interesting since the beginning and now it’s continuing with a lame DQ finish. I hope this doesn’t carry on to Wrestlemania as there isn’t much to seeing these teams fighting over and over. Kross was looking better in here, but you’re only getting so far with what he’s being given.

Post match the Street Profits run in for the save. B Fab comes in to take out Scarlett but the AOP gets back up for the heel beatdown.

We look at Rey Mysterio returning last week to help Carlito beat Santos Escobar.

Dragon Lee runs into Legado del Fantasma, who mock him for thinking he’ll be the next Rey Mysterio. The future is Legado, not the LWO.

Tiffany Stratton vs. Michin

Stratton sends her into the corner to start before kicking out the leg so Michin goes face first into a turnbuckle. A belly to back suplex gives Stratton two but Michin manages a backdrop. The threat of a Styles Clash takes too long though and Stratton puts her down, setting up the Prettiest Moonsault Ever for the pin at 2:29. Pretty much a squash.

Video on AJ Styles vs. LA Knight, with Styles not liking how Knight has been all cocky and arrogant despite being under talented. Knight needs humbling and Styles is a phenomenal choice for the job.

Knight rants about Styles and beats on a TV with a chair. That might not have looked as impressive as he thought, but at least it didn’t involve the OC.

Tyler Bate is playing WWE2K24 but Pete Dunne wants to train. Bate leaves and Dunne plays as well. Must be that time of year again.

Angel vs. Dragon Lee

Most of Legado del Fantasma is here with Angel. Lee wastes no time in dropkicking him into the corner for some rapid fire stomping. Hold on though as Angel might have a bad knee, which is quite the ruse to sucker Lee in. Lee is knocked out to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Lee muscling him up for a sitout powerbomb and hitting a corner double stomp. The big flip dive to the floor takes out more of Legado but Angel kicks Lee in the face. Lee doesn’t seem to mind as he grabs a hurricanrana for the pin at 7:16.

Rating: C+. Lee hasn’t been around much lately and it was nice to have him back to do something like this. It’s also nice to see the LWO getting some momentum going, as we are on the way to the big six man tag, likely at Wrestlemania. For now though, it’s just a win over half of a low level tag team, but it’s better than nothing.

Post match Legado lays out Lee.

Damage CTRL mocks Bayley for getting beaten down last week and say it was always about Iyo Sky. Next week: Dakota Kai vs. Bayley.

Seth Rollins and Cody Rhodes have escaped their locker room despite extra security. Nick Aldis and the hunt are afoot.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Here is the Bloodline for the big answer, with Rock getting his own entrance. Roman Reigns says greatness stands before you and shakes hands with the Rock, meaning you can acknowledge them. Cue Cody Rhodes and Seth Rollins, coming through the crowd to interrupt as we take a break.

Back with the rest of the Bloodline on the floor and the four people who matter alone in the ring. Rhodes says he knows this is tense moment but he’s glad to be here. They should take the time to feel this as they’re here in a sold out Dallas, Texas. Rhodes has heard Rock’s challenge and wonders if he has the authority to make that stipulation. Last week, Rock acknowledged Reigns so how can he say that?

Rhodes is ready to answer but an angry Rock cuts him off, saying Rock acknowledged Reigns because that is what family does. Rock recaps the stipulations (basically if Bloodline are allowed at ringside or not for Reigns vs. Rhodes) but Rollins cuts him ff, saying we know the stakes. Rollins calls Rock Mr. Midlife Crisis and says Rock has already had his time, meaning he can’t have theirs.

The match is accepted, but Reigns says Rhodes must be an idiot (“You must be from Texas or something.”) for letting Rollins talk for him. Rock says he’ll do everything he can to make Rhodes lose and the World Heavyweight Championship go away because he is on the Board. If Rhodes loses, he never gets another shot (Rhodes seems nervous). Rock brings up Rhodes being one of three children, with a sister who was a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader and a brother who is a future Hall Of Famer. It’s also true that he is 20 years younger than his siblings, because he was a mistake. Rhodes slaps Rock to end the show.

That’s a big step forward as while I don’t think there was any drama about the match being accepted, Rhodes slapping Rock was an important moment. At the same time, Rock sounded rather angry if not a bit nervous here, which could play a big role once Wrestlemania is over if Reigns loses. They’re making this personal and that’s one of the best things you can do with a match like this. Another awesome segment here, and it’s making WrestleMania feel that much bigger.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a shot that was built around one thing and one thing only, which went rather well. The wrestling was pretty much completely skippable, depending on how much you enjoy Tiffany Stratton squashes. Bayley vs. Damage CTRL got some focus of its own, but this was about the main event story and that worked. There are some other things to get ready for Wrestlemania on the Smackdown side, but now we have what is likely going to be the Night One main event and that’s a big deal.

Results
Randy Orton/Kevin Owens b. Grayson Waller/Austin Theory – RKO to Theory
Bobby Lashley b. Karrion Kross via DQ when the AOP interfered
Tiffany Stratton b. Michin – Prettiest Moonsault Ever
Dragon Lee b. Angel – Hurricanrana

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: February 16, 2024
Location: Delta Center, Salt Lake City, Utah
Commentators: Wade Barrett, Corey Graves

It’s another big show as we have the return of the Rock and Roman Reigns. Even if we don’t know what they are going to do, you know it is going to be something important and that is the right way to go. Other than that, we have more Elimination Chamber qualifying matches so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The Rock arrived earlier today.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Kevin Owens vs. Dominik Mysterio

Before the match, Dominik brags about how Judgment Day is going to dominate the Elimination Chamber and he is going to complete the sweep. Owens wastes no time in knocking him out to the floor, followed by an armdrag to put him n the floor again. Back in and Dominik gets in a few shots, only to be clotheslined down to cut him off again.

They head outside together this time, with Owens hitting a right hand and sending him into the steps. Cue R-Truth to look at Owens though and Dominik takes over, including the slingshot hilo for two as we take a break. Back with Owens fighting out of a chinlock and firing off right hands. Owens stomps him down and hits the running backsplash on the floor, followed by the Cannonball back inside.

The frog splash gives Owens two (that’s almost a surprising kickout) but Dominik grabs an X Factor of all things. They trade two Amigos each but Dominik misses his own frog splash. Owens is back with the Swanton for two (geez Dominik is getting to look strong here), only to get caught with a 619 for two more. The frustrated Dominik tells Truth to get him a chair, with the distraction allowing Owens to grab the pop up powerbomb for the pin at 14:11.

Rating: B-. It is astounding to see how much better Dominik has gotten in the last year or so and this was another example. This was a solid back and forth match with Dominik more than holding up his end. Throw in the fans loudly booing him before the match and it was quite the overall performance. Good stuff here and I was surprised by how well it went.

Drew McIntyre is here and says he has to win the Elimination Chamber to go on and win the World Heavyweight Title at Wrestlemania. LA Knight comes in to say not so fast and is ready to add McIntyre’s name to that Wrestlemania tombstone on his shirt. Things have to be broken up in a hurry.

The Bloodline arrives.

Tyler Bate and Pete Dunne are ready to win the Tag Team Titles, but Bate thinks they need a team name. Dominik Mysterio comes in to say the Judgment Day will beat them at Elimination Chamber, so Bate says they can beat Dominik and R-Truth next week. I have no idea why they can make this stick but that’s how wrestling works.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Zelina Vega vs. Tiffany Stratton

Vega snaps off a hurricanrana to start before kicking Stratton out to the floor. An armdrag off the apron sets up a middle rope moonsault to Stratton. Cue Legado del Fantasma to ringside as we take a break. Back with Vega fighting out of a chinlock and the LWO coming out to even things up. Stratton cuts off a comeback attempt with an Alabama Slam but Vega cuts off the Prettiest Moonsault Ever. They head outside where Vega is rammed into the barricade, where Legado’s Elektra Lopez offers a distraction. That’s enough for Stratton to deck Vega and hit the Prettiest Moonsault Ever for the pin at 8:19.

Rating: C+. I could have seen this one going either way and that made things a bit more interesting. Vega was firing off the offense here and Stratton kept up with her throughout, which is a good sign in one of her first main roster matches. Stratton seems like she could be quite the star around here and the fact that she transitioned from NXT to Smackdown rather smoothly (at least to start) is already giving me hope for her future.

The OC comes in to see AJ Styles, with Karl Anderson saying Styles has forgotten where he came from. The two of them have to be held apart.

Damage CTRL is coming for Bayley at Wrestlemania.

AOP vs. Javier Bernal/Beau Morris

The rest of the Final Testament is here too. Akam throws Bernal down to start and everything breaks down, with the Super Collider (stereo powerbombs, with the non-AOP being rammed together before being slammed down) setting up a powerbomb/neckbreaker combination to finish Bernal at 1:02. Total destruction, as it should have been.

Logan Paul is ready to beat the Miz, win the Elimination Chamber and become a double champion at Wrestlemania.

We look at the Seth Rollins/Cody Rhodes segment from Raw.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: The Miz vs. Logan Paul

Non-title. Paul talks trash to start and is promptly knocked down for his efforts. Miz sends him to the apron, where Paul comes back in with a high crossbody. The standing moonsault doesn’t quite connect but Paul grabs a Regal Roll to put Miz down again. A splits splash gives Paul two but Miz fires off the chops. Paul knocks him right back down and hits a splash on the apron as we take a break.

Back with Miz slugging away and grabbing a Downward Spiral for two, followed by a Codebreaker out of the corner for the same. Miz tries the Figure Four but Paul grabs the ring skirt, leaving the referee distracted. That’s enough for Paul to poke Miz in the eye and hit his own Skull Crushing Finale for a rather near fall, meaning it’s time to get frustrated.

Miz’s Figure Four sends Paul over to the ropes and then out to the floor, where one of his goons hand him the brass knuckles. Miz breaks that up but Paul kicks the rope for a low blow on the way back in. The big right hand sets up something like an STO to give Paul the pin at 12:40.

Rating: B-. There is a history between these two and that made the match feel more important. Paul’s rise continues with another good match, though I could definitely go for less of his goons interfering. Ignoring that the people are interchangeable, it’s the same stuff so often and that gets rather dull. At least Paul won though, and the lineup inside the Chamber is strong enough that he can lose without taking a major hit.

Tiffany Stratton brags to Liv Morgan and Bianca Belair, the latter of whom isn’t impressed. Jade Cargill comes in to tell them all to shut up. Nick Aldis pops in and we pan over to see Bron Breakker next to a contract (not clear if it has been signed), just like Cargill’s (signing again not clear).

Paul Heyman is talking to Grayson Waller, who seems rather interested.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Naomi vs. Alba Fyre

Isla Dawn is here with Fyre, who takes Naomi down into the corner to start. Naomi slides up and slaps her in the face, setting up a splits splash for two. They go outside with Naomi hitting a bulldog onto the steps as we take a break. Back with Naomi sending her into the corner and hitting a high crossbody for two. Fyre is able to send her into the buckle though and a wheelbarrow faceplant gives Fyre two of her own. The Gory Bomb is countered though and an interfering Dawn is kicked down. A headscissors driver sets up a reverse Rings of Saturn finishes Fyre at 9:20.

Rating: C+. This was just a step above a squash for Naomi, who more or less rolled into the Chamber. It didn’t help that Fyre was a replacement after Shotzi’s injury, which is kind of a shame as she is more than talented enough to get a run of her own. If nothing else, let Fyre and Dawn win some tag matches, as they’re both just sitting around doing nothing at the moment.

Dakota Kai begs Bayley to protect her from Damage CTRL. Bayley isn’t sure because she doesn’t know who she can trust and says she can’t do this right now.

Nick Aldis announces that Bron Breakker has signed with Smackdown and brings him out to sign the contract live.

Here’s what’s coming on next week’s show.

Here is the Bloodline for the big chat. After Roman Reigns says his catchphrase, he calls the fans in Salt Lake City idiots who don’t get how big this is. It’s the biggest night ever in WWE because tonight, the Rock is officially part of the Bloodline. Cue the Rock and the Hollywood is strong with this one. Following a break, Rock says this is an all time indoor attendance record for Utah. That’s right: the record for the largest collection of trailer park trash he has ever seen.

Rock loads up the FINALLY…..the people’s lives have meaning and they’ll have a story to tell their 50 wives. These people have brought out a side of the Rock that you haven’t seen in years but it has always been in here. You had the biggest Wrestlemania main event ever and you flushed it away for CODY. What is Cody’s story? He lost last year and now he wants a rematch.

Apply that to sports. Should the 49ers get a rematch after losing the Super Bowl? Michael Jordan crushed the Utah Jazz and they moved on to get back to the top but the people here don’t get it because they are spoiled entitled crybaby b******. The Bloodline’s story is just beginning but the people here DO NOT get to sing along with the Rock as he hits the catchphrase to end the show.

This cemented the Rock’s heel turn (I’m assuming him picking the 49ers losing to the Chiefs and the Jazz losing to the Bulls, both of which were rematches of recent finals, wasn’t a coincidence) and having him officially join the Bloodline while explaining the heel turn makes good sense.

Overall Rating: B. Much like Raw, this was about setting up a bunch of Elimination Chamber participants with one big segment included. The wrestling was good enough but what mattered here was how important things felt. That has been the case for the last few weeks as made things that much better. It was another good show where the big stuff felt important but the rest of the stuff was far from bad. Things will get even bigger after Elimination Chamber but they’re making that show feel important as well, which is a hard trick to make work.

Results
Kevin Owens b. Dominik Mysterio – Pop up powerbomb
Tiffany Stratton b. Zelina Vega – Prettiest Moonsault Ever
AOP b. Javier Bernal/Beau Morris – Powerbomb/neckbreaker combination to Bernal
Logan Paul b. The Miz – STO
Naomi b. Alba Fyre – Reverse Rings of Saturn

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Smackdown
Date: February 9, 2024
Location: Spectrum Center, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Wade Barrett, Corey Graves

As has been the case multiple times this year, and then everything changed. This time it was at the Wrestlemania media event, as Cody Rhodes changed his mind and decided that he would he challenging Roman Reigns instead. This sounds simple enough, but there was a huge X factor in the Rock, who got into it with Rhodes and has joined forces with Reigns in a “my family is better than your family” feud. I think we might have some fallout tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of the press event.

Here is HHH for a chat, with Nick Aldis and Adam Pearce waiting in the ring. HHH talks about how we are on the Road To Wrestlemania but things took a hard turn yesterday. For now though, he needs to set the record straight. There are some people who don’t know their role but tried to assert their authority when they don’t have any. HHH doesn’t care where you sit because one thing is abundantly clear: the answers come one place and one place only and you are looking at him.

The main event of Wrestlemania XL will be Roman Reigns defending against Cody Rhodes. If there are some people who don’t like that, it doesn’t matter what you think. Aldis says it’s time to shift focus to Seth Rollins and the World Heavyweight Championship. The new #1 contender will be determined in the Elimination Chamber and qualifying matches begin tonight.

We see the twelve wrestlers who will be fighting for those shows: Randy Orton, Bronson Reed, Kevin Owens, Logan Paul, AJ Styles, Miz, Bobby Lashley, Ivar, Drew McIntyre, Sami Zayn, Dominik Mysterio and LA Knight (seemingly in no particular order). We’ll start right now with this qualifying match.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Drew McIntyre vs. AJ Styles

Before the match, McIntyre comes to the ring and mocks CM Punk’s injury (complete with the shirt) and no, Punk isn’t making a dime off of it! Hold on though as LA Knight joins commentary as McIntyre strikes away at Styles to start. A backbreaker sets up a rather harsh armbar to keep Styles down. They go outside with McIntyre sending him hard into the timekeeper’s area as we take a break.

Back with Styles fighting back and getting in his half of a double knockdown. McIntyre takes him up in the corner but Styles pulls him out with a sitout powerbomb for a near fall. A quick Futureshock plants Styles but he cuts the Claymore off. McIntyre cuts off the Phenomenal Forearm just as quickly though and they head outside. Styles almost gets into it with Knight, allowing McIntyre to shove Styles into Knight, who isn’t pleased. Knight gets on the apron to go after Styles, whose rollup to McIntyre is missed. The angry Styles decks Knight but walks into the Claymore for the pin at 11:15.

Rating: B-. One thing I like about qualifying matches is a situation where it seems that one person is the obvious winner but the other one isn’t a total non-factor. Styles getting into the Chamber wouldn’t have been an insane thought and that helps a lot. Odds are we’ll be seeing Styles again when Knight is trying to qualify and that makes things more interesting.

Sami Zayn is facing Randy Orton in his qualifying match and if that is his path to the title, so be it.

A NASCAR champion was here earlier.

Pretty Deadly is not happy with Wilson’s hand being hurt by Pete “Do-nay” and swear revenge.

We look back at Bayley leaving Damage CTRL and setting up her Wrestlemania title match.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Bianca Belair vs. Michin

Belair powers her around to start but Michin is back with some kicks to the head. A running kick to the chest gets two on Belair, who bails out to the floor for a breather. We take an early break and come back with Belair slugging away. Michin kicks her in the face to put Belair back down, only to miss a Cannonball. The handspring moonsault is almost countered with raised knees but Belair sticks the landing. A spinebuster gives Belair two but Michin is able to catch her on top with a superplex. Eat Defeat connects to send Belair outside but a Styles clash takes too long. Belair hits a KOD for the pin at 7:13.

Rating: C+. This gets some bonus points for Michin getting in a good bit of offense. Belair winning isn’t exactly a surprise but I would much rather they have a competitive match instead of letting Belair run her over. Michin is someone who doesn’t seem likely to become a major star, but she can be a good middle of the road hand for matches like this one.

Bron Breakker comes in to see HHH and isn’t sure if he should sign with Raw or Smackdown. Before HHH can say anything, Paul Heyman comes in to interrupt. Breakker leaves and Heyman says that is a heck of a talent from a wacky family. A serious HHH asks what Heyman wants so Heyman says he’ll be back next week….with Roman Reigns. And the Rock. HHH says he’s looking forward to it.

Here is Bayley for a chat. She seems relieved that the fans are happy to see her and talks about how much Damage CTRL meant to her. Bayley put everything into Damage CTRL and then they kept mocking her behind her back. That hurt her…and here is Dakota Kai to interrupt. Kai says she didn’t know anything about what the rest of the team was doing but Bayley doesn’t buy it.

Bayley says Kai was always there with the rest of them but Kai says she always believed in the team. Kai misses the original trio because she wouldn’t be here if not for Bayley. It looked like Bayley’s plan was working and she thought it was going well but then everything fell apart.

Bayley asks where she stands but here are Iyo Sky and the Kabuki Warriors to interrupt. The still injured Kai bails….and then comes back in with a chair. Bayley sees her coming but Kai swings at Sky and the Warriors instead. With the three of them gone, Kai drops the chair and Bayley is confused. Bayley and Kai stare at each other but nothing happens. Points for adding some intrigue here, because Bayley facing Damage CTRL 4-1 wasn’t exactly a realistic fight.

Randy Orton talks about how he was on the shelf for over a year and has learned to be patient. Inside the Chamber, the only constant is the RKO.

Bobby Lashley and company are ready for Wrestlemania season, including his Elimination Chamber qualifying match on Raw against Bronson Reed.

Pete Dunne/Tyler Bate vs. DIY

The winners get a Tag Team Title shot at Elimination Chamber. Gargano and Bate start things off with a pinfall reversal sequence, giving us a standoff. Dunne and Ciampa come in and go to the floor, where Dunne misses a moonsault. Ciampa knocks him onto the announcers’ table with the other two coming outside as well. Gargano knocks Bate down and we get some DIY clapping to send us to a break.

Back with everything breaking down and all four knocking each other down. Bate is up with a giant swing/airplane spin at the same time but Gargano breaks up the double Tyler Driver 97. Ciampa knees Bate in the face and hits Project Ciampa for two. Bate is back up to slug away at Ciampa, who kicks him in the face. The solo Tyler Driver 97 is blocked and Gargano superkicks Bate into the corner. That lets Dunne come back in for the Bitter End and the pin at 8:25.

Rating: B-. Dunne and Bate getting the shot is interesting as it sets up a completely fresh match. It’s also a nice sign for the future of the tag division as it shows what happens when you take two talented people with nothing going on and give them something to do. DIY will be fine, but at some point they need to win something that matters on the main roster.

Dominik Mysterio is ready to win the Elimination Chamber so he and Rhea Ripley can have matching titles. He doesn’t care who he faces, but here is Kevin Owens to promise Dominik a beating next week. Owens will even dedicate it to Rey Mysterio. Cue R-Truth, who thinks Owens is the Miz. Truth: “Don’t let Nick catch you!” Owens: “Nick Mysterio?” Truth: “Nick Aldis!” Fans: “WE WANT TRUTH!”

Logan Paul comes in to see the General Managers and has no idea why he’s in an Elimination Chamber qualifying match. Those matches are for unqualified people and that’s not true for him. Next week he’s fighting in UTAH? IN UTAH??? He’ll do it, just because he’s going to Wrestlemania and leaving as a double champion. Nick Aldis makes Paul vs. Miz in a qualifying match next week. Paul is not pleased. No mention of Paul’s next US Title challenger being announced as was advertised.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Randy Orton vs. Sami Zayn

Zayn starts fast by sending him outside and teases the dive, only to flip back into the middle when Orton moves. Back in and Orton hammers away before heading outside again. This time Zayn drops him onto the announcers’ table as we take a break. Back with Orton hitting the top rope superplex, setting up the snap powerslam to put Zayn down again.

The hanging DDT is cut off with a backdrop though and Zayn hits the big suicide dive. Orton is fine enough to drop Zayn onto the announcers’ table, meaning the second hanging DDT attempt can connect. Zayn grabs a quick Blue Thunder Bomb for two but Orton is right back with the RKO for the pin at 10:47.

Rating: B-. I don’t think there’s any surprise that these two had a good match but again, it was nice to have a feeling that either could win. Zayn has seemingly been pushed as needing to win the World Title so giving him a chance to get into a big #1 contenders match wasn’t out of the question. Orton is the right choice to go forward though, as he’s still feeling like one of the biggest stars around at the moment.

Post match Drew McIntyre comes out for a staredown with Orton to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The wrestling was pretty run of the mill but what mattered here was the atmosphere. This show had a bunch of stuff that felt big as they have turned on Wrestlemania Mode. That is a feeling you can’t shake and it was in full force this week. The matches had consequences and it was a show where things were happening. In a word, it felt focused and that is a great thing to see at the right time.

Results
Drew McIntyre b. AJ Styles – Claymore
Bianca Belair b. Michin – KOD
Tyler Bate/Pete Dunne b. DIY – Bitter End to Gargano
Randy Orton b. Sami Zayn – RKO

 

 

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Royal Rumble 2024
Date: January 27, 2024
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

It’s the start of the Road To Wrestlemania and that should make for a huge night. The interesting ting about the Rumble is that we are only going to be in for a four match card, with the two Rumbles, a US Title match and the four way for the World Title. That should be more than enough for a good night so let’s get to it.

We open with a look at wrestlers arriving.

Hulk Hogan talks about how important this part of the country is to wrestling, as there are so many people from Florida who made a big difference in wrestling. Now it’s time for the Royal Rumble and the path to Wrestlemania, but you have to go through a lot to get there.

Just like last year, Pat McAfee returns as a surprise commentator and just like last year, Corey Graves is furious.

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals, Natalya is in at #1 and the returning Naomi is in at #2. We get a nice WELCOME BACK chant as Cole talks about Naomi winning the TNA Knockouts Title while she was gone from WWE. Natalya knocks her down but Naomi is quickly up for a hurricanrana. The basement dropkick drops Naomi and it’s Bayley in at #3. She’s quickly kicked into the corner and Naomi hits the Rear View. Natalya basement dropkicks both of them but Naomi drops them both for a breather.

Candice LeRae is in at #4 and steps on Naalya’s back with a Codebreaker to Bayley (and lands on Bayley in the process). TNA Knockouts Champion Jordynne Grace (a powerhouse) is in at #5 and runs people over before hugging Naomi (who she defeated for the title). They immediately slug it out and Grace hits the Juggernaut Driver (pumphandle driver) to plant Naomi. Indi Hartwell is in at #6 and hits some clotheslines, followed by a spinebuster on Bayley. Hartwell and LeRae team up for a bit and even manage a sign point.

Asuka is in at #7 and Bayley gets rid of Hartwell for the first elimination. Ivy Nile is in at #8 and can’t pick up Naomi. Bayley invites Cole in from commentary, continuing their long lasting one sided feud. Katana Chance is in at #9 and goes after Asuka but gets suplexed by Grace. Nile and Grace grab stereo suplexes, with Naomi trying to put Asuka out instead. Bianca Belair is in at #10, giving us Natalya, Naomi, Bayley, LeRae, Grace, Asuka, Nile, Chance and Belair.

A double running Blockbuster plants Damage CTRL and Belair hammers at Chance in the corner (even though Chance is barely taller than the turnbuckle). More house is cleaned until Kairi Sane is in at #11 to complete Damage CTRL. Sane comes in with a top rope forearm to Belair and the trio goes after Belair. LeRae sends Sane and Asuka to the apron but doesn’t bother to eliminate them, meaning Damage CTRL puts her out instead. Tegan Nox is in at #12 and Natalya has to quickly save her.

A discus lariat hits Grace but Nox tosses Natalya, only to be eliminated by Bayley. Kayden Carter is in at #13 and Sane is sent over the top but she manages to keep her feet from touching in a crazy bit of athleticism. Then she’s knocked out a second later, with Asuka being eliminated as well (Bayley is livid). Chelsea Green is in at #14 and is almost eliminated just as fast as she was last year. Green holds on, leaving Belair and Grace to slug it out. They go to the apron, where Belair hits a KOD for the elimination.

Piper Niven is in at #15 and catches Green as she is sent over the top. With Green back in, Niven wrecks Chance as we get a really cool clock showing how long some people have been in. A bunch of people can’t manage to get rid of Niven and it’s Xia Li in at #16. With a grand total of nothing going on, Zelina Vega is in at #17. Vega manages a tornado DDT on Niven but no one gets tossed. Maxxine Dupri is in at #18 as this match is just death at the moment. Carter is tossed and it’s Nia Jax in at #19.

Li and Nile are quickly out and Green goes after Jax, who promptly mauls her. Green is knocked around like a ragdoll but isn’t eliminated as Shotzi is in at #20, with Green finally being on the floor but not eliminated. That gives us Naomi, Bayley, Chance, Belair, Green, Niven, Vega, Dupri, Jax and Shotzi. Niven crossbodies Jax down but Jax survives the big group elimination attempt.

Jax eliminates Niven and Chance is tossed out as well. Becky Lynch is in at #21 and that wakes the people up. She goes right after Jax, including the missile dropkick. Green comes back in and gets tossed out as Alba Fyre is in at #22. Fyre cleans some house but doesn’t get rid of anyone as Shayna Baszler is in at #23. Fyre plants Jax and it’s Valhalla (with antlers) in at #24….but R-Truth comes in to steal her spot. He is promptly tossed out by Jax, but Adam Pearce comes out to say Vahlalla is in…and she’s immediately eliminated by Jax.

Michin is in at #25 and immediately goes after Fyre, only to have Jax clean house again. Naomi hits a hanging faceplant to get rid of Fyre and Bayley yells at Cole again. Zoey Stark is in at #26 and missile dropkicks Michin. Stark kicks out Vega, who lands HARD on Fyre. Roxanne Perez (from NXT) is in at #27 and snaps off a running headscissors. She stops to point to the sign though and has to survive Bayley throwing her to the apron. Jax gets rid of Michin, Baslzer and Shotzi to clear out a lot of space.

Jade Cargill is in at #28 and yep that brings them up again. Cargill wastes no time in fireman’s carry slamming Jax and then single handedly tossing her out (Becky is STUNNED). Cargill misses a charge into the post and almost everyone is down as NXT’s Tiffany Stratton is in at #29. Stratton gets to show ff the gymnastics but can’t get anyone out as…..Liv Morgan is back at #30. Naomi, Bayley, Belair, Lynch, Stark, Perez, Cargill, Stratton and Morgan.

Stark and Perez are both out, leaving everyone to surround Stratton. And then they all pair off instead of going after her. Cargill and Belair hit stereo gorilla presses and then stare each other down to a REALLY big reaction. Bayley and Stratton break that up and the crowd goes back to mild.

Lynch can’t Manhandle Slam Cargill, who puts her on top instead. Cargill knocks out Becky and Naomi, leaving Stratton to hold on by Belair’s hair in a spot that made me cringe. Bayley kicks them both out and we’re down to Bayley, Cargill and Morgan. They all wind up on the apron with Bayley and Morgan getting kicked away. Morgan kicks Cargill in the face and hits an Oblivion to get rid of her, only to be kicked out by Bayley for the win at 1:05:00.

Rating: C+. The last 20 or so minutes made a huge difference here as this was REALLY weak to start. What mattered here was the star power in the last third as it made things that much better. Bayley is still dependable, Cargill looked like an absolute star, Grace had a great showing, Morgan still doesn’t feel like a star and Becky was just kind of there for the most part.

On the bad side though, one of the biggest problems with the women’s Rumble is there aren’t many feuds. You have title matches and little more for the women. That leaves people just having random fights and that doesn’t give you much to work with. It’s been a problem for these matches since they started and it was still the case here. The last bit saved it, but they need to find a way to pick things up throughout.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. Roman Reigns beat LA Knight at Crown Jewel, albeit with help from the Bloodline. The Bloodline also took out AJ Styles back in September, so he wants revenge. Randy Orton is back too and wants the title, leaving Reigns to fight them all at once.

Smackdown World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton vs. AJ Styles vs. LA Knight

Reigns is defending and has Paul Heyman with him. All three go after Reigns and stomp him down in the corner without much trouble. Reigns is out on the floor so Knight takes over and sends Styles face first into the announcers’ table over and over. Orton comes over and drops Reigns onto the announcers’ table before doing the same to Knight. Back in and Orton sends Knight to the floor again, only to get chopped by Styles.

Knight comes back in and gets to take over on everyone but Reigns is back up to send Orton and Styles outside. Reigns fires off clotheslines to Knight in the corner before taking down the returning Styles and Orton. Knight ducks the Superman Punch and hammers on Reigns, including his own jumping clothesline. A DDT plants Orton and the powerslam does the same to Orton.

Knight plants Reigns again but Styles makes an accidental save. Styles’ fireman’s carry backbreaker hits Knight but bangs up his own knee in the process. The Styles Clash hits Reigns with Knight making the save this time. Styles loads up the Phenomenal Forearm but gets RKO’d down. Another RKO hits Knight and the Superman Punch is countered into the RKO….but Solo Sikoa pulls the referee out.

Sikoa gives Orton and Knight the Spike (leaving Knight on Orton for what would be a cover if there was a referee) but goes after Styles, only to go crashing through the barricade. Styles is back in for a Phenomenal Forearm and covers all three at once for two. With nothing else working, Styles grabs a chair and takes Reigns down. It works so well that he does the same thing to Knight but Reigns is up with a spear. Knight plants Reigns and hits the LA Elbow but the BFT is broken up, with Knight being shoved into the ropes to drop Styles. The spear hits Styles to retain at 19:31.

Rating: B-. This was a match where you pretty much knew how the ending was going to go and the question was more about whether Reigns was going to pin Styles or Knight. There was almost no way Reigns was going to lose here, and having the match go on second made it all the more clear. The action was good enough but far from a classic, as this was pretty much just a good version of what you knew it was going to be.

We recap Logan Paul defending the US Title against Kevin Owens. Paul is the loudmouthed champion and Owens doesn’t like an outsider being here as the new star. Therefore, after winning a tournament, Owens is ready to fight.

US Title: Kevin Owens vs. Logan Paul

Owens, with a bad hand, is challenging. They’re quickly on the floor with Owens sending him into the barricade. Back in and an elbow to the face sets up the backsplash for one as it’s all Owens early on. A release German suplex drops Paul again and they’re back on the floor, with Owens chopping away. Paul gets smart by sending the bad hand into the post, followed by a high crossbody back inside.

A Kimura starts in on the arm/hand before Paul switches over to an Octopus. With that broken up, Paul uppercuts him down and my goodness his chest is looking terrible. Owens comes back with a heck of a slap and an even harder clothesline drops Paul. Another backsplash hits raised knees but Owens grabs the fisherman’s buster onto the knee. Back to back Cannonballs connect and the frog splash connects as well.

Owens’ Swanton hits knees but Paul’s hits mat, meaning it’s time for a breather on the floor. Back in and the Buckshot Lariat hits Owens and a top rope splash gives Paul two. Paul loads up a superplex but spends too much time yelling about how no one can superplex Owens, allowing Owens to hit the swinging fisherman’s superplex. Paul’s big punch is cut off by a superkick but the Stunner is blocked.

Paul hits the right hand for two and Paul can’t believe the kickout. Cue one of Paul’s cronies who has to be ejected, leaving Owens and Paul to hit stereo clotheslines. Cue Grayson Waller and Austin Theory, with the latter slipping Paul the brass knuckles. Owens gets two off a rollup and Owens gets the knuckles away from Paul and knocks him silly for the….DQ as the referee sees the knuckles at 14:02. McAfee: “OH NOW THE REF HAS 20/20?”

Rating: B. I rather like the ending as Owens getting carried away and Paul needing to be saved to keep the title. The other good thing is that Paul gets to stay strong, as his stuff in the ring still looks great. It was a rather good back and forth match and they even found a smart way out of keeping Owens from taking a pin.

Post match Owens lays out Paul again.

Rumble By The Numbers.

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals, Jey Uso is in at #1 and Jimmy Uso is in at #2. Jey knocks him to the apron to start but it’s too early for an elimination. Jimmy is back with a knockdown of his own and Grayson Waller is in at #3. Waller talks all the way to the ring and says no one cares about the sibling rivalry. Jey superkicks him off the apron (not an elimination) but gets jumped by Jimmy. Waller and Jimmy beat Jey down and the returning Andrade is in at #4.

Running knees in the corner abound and Carmelo Hayes is in at #5. Hayes fires off some superkicks and circles around with Andrade and Jey. Waller tries to roll in but gets Codebreakered, setting up the elimination from Hayes. Shinsuke Nakamura is in at #6 and kicks Hayes into the corner as the fans sing Nakamura’s song. He fires off a bunch of kicks and it’s Santos Escobar in at #7.

Andrade and Escobar quickly knock everyone down and have a staredown, with Andrade not being sure at the hug. Escobar goes for the elimination but gets sent to the apron. Karrion Kross is in at #8 and forms a weird alliance with Jimmy. They don’t actually eliminate anyone of course and here is Dominik Mysterio in at #9. The entrances continue to fly by as Carlito it in at #10, giving us Jey, Jimmy, Andrade, Hayes, Nakamura, Escobar, Kross, Dominik and Carlito.

It’s time for an apple (the fans react) and the spitting of said apple saves Carlito from Escobar. Back up and Escobar is eliminated but Kross gives Carlito the Final Prayer. Bobby Lashley is in at #11 with some spears and a spinebuster until only Dominik is left standing. Another spar hits Dominik but Kross lets Lashley get in a free shot…which eliminates Carlito instead.

There’s a spear to Kross and Lashley dumps him as well. A bunch of people can’t get rid of Lashley but here are the AOP for a distraction. They don’t actually do anything but Hayes and Nakamura knock Lashley to the apron where Kross gets rid of him. Cue the Street Profits to help with the brawl to the back as Ludwig Kaiser is in at #12.

With nothing going on there, Austin Theory is in at #13. Ataxia hits Hayes but it’s not enough for the elimination. Hayes tries to get rid of Hayes as Finn Balor is in at #14. Balor tosses Hayes and joins up with Dominik to stomp Kaiser. Cody Rhodes is in at #15 and this should pick things up a bit. Rhodes tosses Theory and gets into it with Balor as Bronson Reed is in at #16. A double Samoan drop plants Dominik and Balor before Reed dumps out Andrade. We get the Cody vs. Nakamura showdown with Nakamura hitting a kick to the face and it’s Kofi Kingston in at #17.

Cody gets rid of Nakamura and then hammers on Jimmy as Kaiser can’t get rid of Kofi. Instead Kofi kicks Kaiser out for some revenge and it’s Gunther in at #18. After yelling at Kaiser for being eliminated, Gunther gets inside and chops away. A slam plants Reed but Kofi manages to send Gunther to the apron. Gunther wastes no time in shrugging that off and dumping Kofi, who never had the chance to do anything special.

Ivar is in at #19 (Cole: “He’s on a roll in the last month.” Ivar is 2-2 in the last month, with losses to Johnny Gargano and Akira Tozawa.) and gets in a showdown with Reed. Bron Breakker is in at #20, giving us Jey, Jimmy, Dominik, Balor, Rhodes, Reed, Gunther, Ivar and Breakker. Things start fast and it’s Breakker getting rid of Jimmy and Balor before having a showdown with Gunther (no mention of Breakker beating him in NXT). A gorilla press and spear drop Gunther and it’s Omos in at #21.

Omos takes his time getting in and tossed Reed, followed by Breakker getting rid of Ivar. We get the Breakker vs. Omos showdown….and Pat McAfee is in at #22, looking stunned. Breakker and Omos stare at McAfee, who teases eliminating himself, gets back in, and then does eliminate himself. McAfee: “HOW BIG IS THAT THING IN THERE???” Breakker dumps the distracted Omos but gets tossed by Dominik as JD McDonagh is in at #23.

Breakker spears McDonagh down on the floor and it’s R-Truth in at #24, throwing McDonagh inside…where Jey knocks him out. Truth gets on the apron for a tag as Gunther sleepers Dominik. For some reason Dominik DOES tag him in and house is cleaned, at least until Gunther kicks Truth in the face. Miz is in at #25 and teams up with Truth for a double hiptoss to Jey. Truth saves Dominik though and Damian Priest is in at #26. Priest wastes no time in throwing out Truth but only sends Miz to the apron. CM Punk is in at lucky #27 and IT’S CLOBBERIN TIME.

Punk gets to clean some house and eliminates Dominik but gets forearmed by Priest. Ricochet is in at #28 and is quickly sent to the apron by Priest. A springboard high crossbody hits Gunther but Priest takes Ricochet down again. Gunther chops Miz out and Drew McIntyre is in at #29. McIntyre sends Ricochet flying with a belly to belly and clotheslines Jey down.

Priest kicks away at McIntyre, who plants him with a spinebuster. Jey is back up with a superkick to McIntyre and another to send Gunther to the apron. Gunther breaks that up and dumps Jey and it’s….Sami Zayn in at #30. That gies us a final grouping of Rhodes, Gunther, Priest, Punk, Ricochet, McIntyre and Zayn.

McIntyre dumps Ricochet out and we’re down to six. A parade of secondary finishers puts everyone but Zayn down and there’s the Helluva Kick to McIntyre. Zayn gets rid of Priest but gets dumped by McIntyre and we’re down to McIntyre, Rhodes, Punk and Gunther.
A Cody Cutter hits Gunther but he clotheslines Rhodes to save himself. McIntyre kicks people down and is the only one standing, including another Claymore to Punk. He yells that it’s his time now and is promptly eliminated by Punk to get us down to three.

Gunther dropkicks Punk and Rhodes down before powerbombing Punk. Cody slips out and tries a Cody Cutter but gets sent onto the apron. Cody manages to pull Gunther to the apron and then out, meaning it’s Cody vs. Punk. They slug it out until a double clothesline leaves them laying. They slug it out from their knees and then again on their feet. Both finishers are broken up so Cody hits the Bionic Elbow.

Cross Rhodes is broken up again but Punk can’t toss him. Punk points at the sign and walks into Cross Rhodes but Cody can’t follow up. A quick GTS plants Cody and they’re both down again. Punk hits a Pedigree (McAfee: “If you know, you know.”) but another GTS is countered and Cody dumps him for the win at 1:08:20.

Rating: B-. This took its time to get going and had some moments but it never quite got into that next level. Cody going back to Wrestlemania is certainly a choice but it would be nice to have him do something other than going after Reigns. As for the rest of the match, you had Breakker looking like a killer and Dominik getting in some good moments. For the most part though, the match just wasn’t all that great with the crowd not being interesting. You can’t argue with the final two though and that’s what matters most in a match like this. It’s not a bad Rumble, but it’s certainly not a great one either.

Sign pointing, pyro and highlights take us out.

Overall Rating: B-. For a four match show with the Rumbles taking up almost two and a half hours, there is only so much you can complain about here. I’m still curious to see where things go for Wrestlemania, but Cody winning is kind of deflating. Anyway, it’s not an all time classic or anything, but it could have been much, much worse. Wrestlemania season is here and that’s all that matters, though they’re going to need something to get a big spark going.

Results
Bayley won the Women’s Royal Rumble last eliminating Liv Morgan
Roman Reigns b. AJ Styles, Randy Orton, LA Knight – Spear to Styles
Logan Paul b. Kevin Owens via DQ when Owens used brass knuckles
Cody Rhodes won the Men’s Royal Rumble last eliminating CM Punk

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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So after one of the busiest weeks that WWE has ever seen, we have one of the biggest shows of the year as the Road To Wrestlemania begins. As usual, this show revolves around the Royal Rumble matches and in this case, there isn’t one clear cut favorite to win both of them. The more options the matches have, the better things tend to go with them and that is certainly true here so let’s get to it.

US Title: Logan Paul(c) vs. Kevin Owens

This is a match that has gotten quite a bit of attention as Paul is back to defend the title. Paul really is one of the best talents in WWE today but he is going to need someone to help him through the match. That is what he has in Owens and the talking has been great as well. Paul is in a weird spot as he is still more or less a rookie but has high expectations and now we get to see what he can do with his title involved.

I’ll go with Paul retaining here, as he is a hue star and there is no reason to have him lose the title so soon. He is probably carrying the title into, if not through, Wrestlemania so giving him a win over Owens will only boost things up. We should be in for a good showdown here, with Owens doing his thing well enough and making Paul look good, even in defeat.

WWE Universal Title: Roman Reigns(c) vs. LA Knight vs. AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton

What we have here is a good idea, as it’s hard to imagine Reigns losing the title in a singles match, so they’ve added in some drama with the two extra challenges and a chance that someone else could steal a fall for the title. While that might be hard to fathom actually happening, I do like the idea of WWE trying to make things feel a bit more intense, especially with the RKO as a threat.

To the shock of no one, I’ll go with Reigns retaining and the question being whether he pins Knight or Styles. Knight would seem to be the logical choice as he’s a step beneath the other two and it would make sense for him to lose here. Either way, it is almost impossible to imagine Reigns losing here, as he seems destined for some huge title match at Wrestlemania, which we might find out tonight as well.

Women’s Royal Rumble

We’ll go with the match with fewer options here, as there are two main choices for the win here. That being said, the Rumble is weird as you never know who might pop in and turn the whole thing around. That has been the case before and it very well might be again, though you really can’t guess at that kind of a surprise. Therefore we’ll go with the options of people already announced and that narrows it down a lot.

The two main options here would seem to be Becky Lynch and Bayley, as Lynch vs. Ripley seems a very likely possibility after their showdown on Raw. At the same time, Bayley has been pushing towards the match more than anyone else and with Elimination Chamber still looming, it would seem like Lynch has another way in. Therefore I’ll go with Bayley, though it doesn’t feel like a big guarantee.

Men’s Royal Rumble

Now we get to the complicated one, as there are multiple possible options to win here, and that’s not even counting all of the potential surprises. We have, at minimum, three main possibilities here and that opens up a bunch of doors for Wrestlemania, as at least one of them is going to get the title shot through other means. It also makes me wonder who wins here, which is kind of the point.

The more I think about it, the more CM Punk seems to be the likely choice. The other two main options, including Gunther and Cody Rhodes, either have another path to Wrestlemania or another path to get there. Punk coming back for his first match in ten years and winning the Rumble would be huge and set up a likely match with Seth Rollins. That’s assuming the Rock isn’t a surprise #30, but for now we’ll go for Punk

Overall Thoughts

It’s a four match show, but when two of those matches will probably combine for about two and a half hours, they should be fine. The important thing here is that nothing on the card looks bad and I’m really not sure how confident I am in either Royal Rumble pick. That is a great feeling to have and with so many options, I want to see where the matches go and that is something that hasn’t happened in more than a bit.

 

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Smackdown
Date: January 26, 2024
Location: Kaseya Center, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Corey Graves, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and that means it is time for the final push to the show. There’s a good chance we’ll get some more names added to the Royal Rumble matches, as there are less than twenty entrants out of the sixty spots in two matches. The Women’s Tag Team Titles are on the line tonight too so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event, with Roman Reigns jumping Randy Orton after the match but getting taken out with an RKO to end the show.

Here is Eladio Carrion, a rapper from Puerto Rico who has released a song called RKO, with the music video featuring Randy Orton. He wastes no time in bringing out Orton, who greets a fan on the way to the ring. Orton knows the fans are surprised he’s friends with Carrion but it’s time to get to serious business. That would be the Bloodline, because Roman Reigns has been World Champion for almost 1,300 days.

It’s almost unheard of and no one can stop him….except maybe Orton himself. After tomorrow at the Royal Rumble, he’ll be a fifteen time World Champion and that is the only number that matters. Cue AJ Styles, who was taken out by Solo Sikoa last week. He hasn’t forgotten about Orton though, because Orton has a receipt coming. Styles is going to step over Reigns, Orton and…cue LA Knight to interrupt.

The fans seem happy to see him, with Knight calling both of them dummy. Knight finds it interesting that he is the only one in tomorrow’s four way who has a match (against Sikoa) tonight. That’s because Paul Heyman sees him as the biggest threat but tomorrow he’s coming for the title and stepping over all of them. Styles Pele’s Orton to give him the promised receipt to wrap this up.

Carlito vs. Santos Escobar

The LWO and Legado del Fantasma are here too. Carlito hammers away in the corner to start but gets sent into the buckle. Escobar sends him out to the apron, with a Legado distraction letting him get knocked outside. We take a break and come back with Escobar getting two off a clothesline. A super hurricanrana takes Carlito down again and we hit the seated abdominal stretch.

Carlito fights up and hits a dropkick, followed by a rolling neckbreaker for two. The running knee lift and a clothesline put Escobar down and everyone gets in a brawl on the floor. Del Toro hits a huge dive and here is NXT’s Elektra Lopez (formerly part of Legado) to jump Zelina Vega, allowing Escobar to grab a rollup for the pin at 9:49.

Rating: C+. This was about giving Legado one more member to even things up with the LWO, but again this was all about keeping Escobar warm before his big showdown with Rey Mysterio, whenever it comes up. Escobar is being built up rather well and having Lopez around is only going to make things better for him.

Commentary talks about Raw moving to Netflix in January.

AJ Styles runs into Jimmy Uso and suggests that Styles help the Bloodline get rid of LA Knight tonight. Uso leaves and the OC comes in, with Styles saying don’t worry about it.

NXT GM Ava comes in to see Nick Aldis but Bobby Lashley and the Street Profits interrupt. Lashley gets to draw his Royal Rumble number when Legado del Fantasma come in. Escobar draws his number as well.

Video on Bayley, who creates history and is ready to do it again. Then she formed Damage CTRL and they’re taking over.

R-Truth draws a Royal Rumble number and thinks Nick Aldis is Adam Pearce.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Kabuki Warriors vs. Kayden Carter/Katana Chance

Carter/Chance are defending. Carter rolls Asuka up for two to start and it’s Chance hitting a slingshot hilo for two of her own. Chance takes both of them out with a slingshot dive to the floor and we take a break. Back with Chance in trouble but managing to send Sane outside. Carter comes back in and dives onto both Warriors to drop them on the floor.

A springboard spinning legdrop gets two on Asuka but she hands it back to Sane. Everything breaks down but the Insane Elbow hits raised boots. The Keg Stand gets two on Asuka, who breaks up the After Party. Asuka kicks Carter in the head though and the Insane Elbow gives us new champions at 9:03.

Rating: B-. This was a better match than I was expecting but at the end of the day, there was no reason to keep the titles on Carter and Chance. They were pretty much transitional champions but dropped the titles to one of the best teams the titles have ever seen. It was the right way to go and now we get to see where things go from here.

Paul Heyman tells Solo Sikoa to finish LA Knight. Sikoa: “Ok.” With Sikoa gone, Heyman hypes up the idea of Jimmy us winning the Royal Rumble.

Bayley and Bianca Belair draw their Royal Rumble numbers.

Here are Bobby Lashley and the Street Profits for a face to face showdown with the Final Testament. Lashley runs down their resume and calls the Testament out, with the team coming straight to the ring. Only Scarlet gets in the ring though, with Montez Ford calling the team scared. Karrion Kross says the fight isn’t happening tonight…but Lashley disagrees. Scarlet goes after Lashley’s eyes though and the Testament lays everyone out.

Jimmy Uso draws his Royal Rumble number. No yeet.

We look back at Logan Paul on the KO Show, with Paul further damaging Owens’ bad hand. Then they got in a fight at the Performance Center.

Carmelo Hayes vs. Austin Theory

Grayson Waller is here with Theory. A dropkick takes Theory down to start and a springboard spinning clothesline does it again. Theory gets in a cheap shot to put Hayes on the floor though and Waller adds a cheap shot as we take a break. Back with Hayes making a comeback and hitting something like a….reverse reverse DDT (as in Theory is facing up while Hayes is facing away from him). A spinning faceplant gives Hayes two but another Waller distraction sets up Ataxia (Theory loads him up for a powerbomb but flips him backwards into a faceplant). They trade rollups until Theory grabs the tights for the pin at 6:58.

Rating: C+. This was a way to make up after things went really badly two weeks ago. It’s good to see Hayes getting more reps on the show as he seems almost ready to move up to the main roster full time. It’s wouldn’t shock me to see him as a post Wrestlemania call up, but he has to get done with everything involving Trick Williams first. For now though, losing to Theory via cheating isn’t a bad thing and the match went well enough.

Post match Waller comes in for the beatdown but Trick Williams makes the save to a positive reaction. Things still aren’t great with Hayes and Williams though (it’s an NXT thing).

Royal Rumble rundown, with only four matches.

Eladio Carrion wants Randy Orton to win the title at the Rumble but the Bloodline comes in to scare him a bit.

LA Knight vs. Solo Sikoa

The Bloodline is here too. Sikoa takes him into the corner to start and hammers away but Knight gets smart by going after the leg. A stomp to the hand slows Sikoa down again and a ram into the steps makes it worse. Back in and a cheap shot takes Knight down again and we take a break.

We come back with Knight charging into a Samoan drop for two but getting a boot up in the corner. The middle rope bulldog takes Sikoa down again and Knight gets to slug away. A DDT only does so much to Sikoa so they crash out to the floor, where Knight can ram him into the announcers’ table over and over. Cue AJ Styles to take Knight out for the DQ at 8:40.

Rating: C+. Not exactly a great match here but I appreciate not giving Knight a pinfall loss, or a loss of any kind, before he head son to the Royal Rumble. It’s important to keep him strong, especially with the real possibility of Knight being there to take the pinfall. The match was a lot of punching and kicking, but Knight going after the hand made sense.

Post match Styles teases teaming with Jimmy Uso against Knight but goes after Uso instead. Cue Randy Orton to take out the Bloodline and hit an RKO on Styles to….not end the show, as LA Knight gives Orton the BFT to really end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a good enough show that focused on the World Title match, which is what it needed to be. There was nothing on here worth going out of your way to see but it also didn’t do anything that made me less interested in the Rumble. The Rumble is such a weird show in that there are only four matches on the card with two of them being a mixture of wrestlers from all three shows. That leaves the US Title match, which got time last week, and the World Title match, which got time this week. Nice, to the point show.

Results
Santos Escobar b. Carlito – Rollup
Kabuki Warriors b. Kayden Carter/Katana Chance – Insane Elbow to Carter
Austin Theory b. Carmelo Hayes – Rollup with tights
LA Knight b. Solo Sikoa via DQ when AJ Styles interfered

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Royal Rumble 2022
Date: January 29, 2022
Location: The Dome At America’s Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 44,390
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

Somehow this show was a year ago and that might be better for everyone involved. This show was absolutely not well received and I am almost scared to see just how badly this falls down. Hopefully time has been a bit kinder to it, but you never can tell. In addition to the Royal Rumbles, we have Seth Rollins challenging Roman Reigns for the Undisputed Title and Brock Lesnar defending the WWE Title against Bobby Lashley. Let’s get to it.

I was in the stadium for this show, sitting in the upper deck with the Titantron on my right.

The opening video looks at how the Road To Wrestlemania begins here. As usual we get the Royal Rumble highlight reel and dang there have been some great moments over the years. The rest of the matches, which don’t mean nearly as much (as usual), get some attention as well.

Smackdown World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

Reigns is defending and is currently by himself, as Paul Heyman has jumped back to Brock Lesnar and the Usos are barred from ringside. In the name of mind games, Rollins comes to the ring to the old Shield music, complete with the through the crowd entrance and gear (Of note: McAfee talks about the Shield days and says it was “Mox”, Seth and Roman”.).

Rollins goes with the grappling to start and Reigns is frustrated early. The corner clotheslines miss for Reigns and Rollins clotheslines him to the floor. Back to back suicide dives don’t do Rollins much good as Reigns knocks him out of the air back inside. They fight to the floor again though and Rollins is fine enough to hit a quick powerbomb through the announcers’ table.

Back in and the frog splash gets two but Rollins misses the Phoenix splash. Reigns’ spear is cut off by a boot to the face though and a buckle bomb into the Stomp gets a close two. Another Stomp is loaded up but Reigns blasts him with a clothesline to cut that off. Reigns’ powerbomb gets two so Rollins laughs at him, earning the big forearms to the face. The laughter is enough to let Rollins pull him into a triangle choke, which is broken up with another hard powerbomb.

They head back outside with Rollins being sent into various things, followed by a Superman Punch for two back inside. They head outside again and the spear cuts Rollins in half. Back in and another spear is countered into the Pedigree (how Rollins beat him for the title in 2016) for a rather close two.

Rollins has to elbow his way out of a Rock Bottom attempt and kicks Reigns in the face. Another spear cuts Rollins down again….but he’s still laughing at Reigns. Rollins holds out the Shield fist so Reigns pulls him into the guillotine. The referee checks the arm, with the hand falling onto the rope for the break. Well in theory at least, as Reigns doesn’t let go and it’s a DQ at 14:23.

Rating: B. This was a good match and that shouldn’t be a shock given who was in there. Any combination of the Shield guys are going to work well together and that was on display here. They tied the history of the team in well and Rollins broke Reigns down mentally, which should set up a huge rematch down the line. Granted it didn’t and this was a one off match, but it should have set something up.

Post match Reigns is all upset and slowly grabs a chair. The big beatdown leaves Rollins laying.

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and Sasha Banks (in Sailor Moon gear) is in at #1 and Melina is in at #2. They pose at each other to start before Banks dumps her in less than a minute. That leaves Banks do to Melina’s splits pose until Tamina is in at #3. Banks dropkicks her through the ropes before Tamina can get inside, setting up the Meteora from the apron. Tamina saves herself back inside but gets caught with a quick Rey Mysterio bulldog. Running knees have Tamina in trouble in the corner but she headbutts her way to freedom.

Kelly Kelly is in at #4 and it’s strange to see her as anything but the blonde. Kelly comes in for the short form screaming headscissors but stops to dance, allowing Tamina to run her over. For some reason Kelly tries the triangle choke over the ropes on Banks and gets dumped for not thinking that through. Aliyah is in at #5 and hits a weird looking standing Thesz press to hammer on Banks. Tamina slaps Aliyah and they grapple against the ropes as Liv Morgan is in at #6.

Morgan knocks everyone down and stops for a bow, allowing Banks to hit Three Amigos. Queen Zelina is in at #7 and kicks Banks out in a pretty big upset. Tamina can’t eliminate Aliyah as Bianca Belair is in at #8. A kick to the head rocks Tamina and Belair muscles Vega up for a suplex. Belair’s handspring kick to the face can’t get rid of Morgan but she does hit Vega with a moonsault. Dana Brooke, with Reggie, is in at #9 but she does say she’ll go in on her own. Tamina saves Zelina for some reason so Brooke gives Belair a handspring elbow in the corner.

Michelle McCool is in at #10, giving us Tamina, Aliyah, Morgan, Zelina, Belair, Brooke and McCool. House is cleaned and McCool knocks Brooke….right into Reggie’s arms. The Faithbreaker hits Vega and Brooke gets tossed for good this time. Sonya Deville is in at #11 and goes over to join commentary rather than getting inside. The slow elimination attempts continue until Natalya is in at #12.

Morgan goes right at Natalya, who puts her on the apron without much trouble. It’s not quite enough for an elimination so Natalya dumps Tamina instead. More teased eliminations continue until Cameron is in at #13. Cameron cleans some of the house as Deville gets up and slides in, where she takes out Cameron without much trouble. Natalya and Deville are the only ones left standing until Naomi, who hates Deville, is in at #14.

A springboard spinning kick to the face rocks Deville and Naomi kicks her out. Carmella is in at #15 and Corey Graves certainly approves. Carmella walks around the ring as a good chunk of the other women bunched up on one side of the ring for some reason. Rhea Ripley is in at #16 and throws Carmella inside, only to get triple teamed down. Ripley shrugs that off and knocks out Carmella and Vega without much trouble.

Charlotte is in at #17 as a bunch of people go after Natalya. Aliyah is tossed out after about 23 minutes, followed by Naomi being kicked to the floor. She hangs on by her feet….but Sonya Deville is still here to pull Naomi out for the elimination anyway. Ivory, as part of the Right To Censor, is in at #18 and says nothing has changed since she was last here. It is hard for her to look at these girls and, as she gets in the ring, she says she sees a lot of wayward, lost little girls. As she is talking, Ripley picks her up and, as she is still talking, Ripley tosses her out. Ivory: “HOW DARE YOU???”

With that rather funny bit out of the way, Brie Bella is in at #19 and starts the YES chant but can’t get rid of Natalya. Ripley and Belair can’t get rid of Charlotte as Mickie James, reigning Impact Wrestling Knockouts (or Women’s, as the graphic says) Champion is in at #20. That gives us Morgan, Belair, McCool, Natalya, Ripley, Charlotte, Brie Bella and James, the latter of whom goes right after McCool. A headscissors gets rid of McCool and it’s Alicia Fox (with the brown hair instead of the blonde hair) in at #21.

Fox gets to clean some house and the referee checks on Natalya. Nikki Ash is in at #22 and we pause for her to sneak up on Ripley but, of course, she can’t eliminate her. Everyone pairs off until WWE Legend Summer Rae (AND HER SONG THAT IS SO FREAKING CATCHY) is in at #23. A slap off with Natalya goes to Rae, but Charlotte runs her over before anything can get interesting. Natalya dumps Rae and it’s Nikki Bella in at #24. House is cleaned again and the Bellas get to reunite, with Nikki knocking out Fox. Sarah Logan returns at #25, gets in a few shots, and is tossed by the Bellas.

They toss Liv as well, after a pretty ridiculous 37 minutes without an elimination. Liv and Logan get their reunion on the floor as Lita is in at #26. Mickie goes after Lita and gets DDTed, allowing Lita to get the easy elimination. Charlotte and Lita slug it out until Mighty Molly is in at #27…and gets jumped by Ash on the floor. Molly is tossed in and then eliminated by Ash, who gets in a rather long pose and stare. Ronda Rousey makes her big return at #28 and yeah this feels like a huge deal, especially with almost everyone in the ring stopping to look at her.

Ash is out fast and Nikki Bella is sent to the apron…where Brie punches her out. Shotzi is in at #29 as Rousey gets rid of Brie. Rousey goes after Belair and Natalya powerbombs Charlotte as Shayna Baszler completes the field at #30. That gives us a final grouping of Belair, Natalya, Ripley, Charlotte, Lita, Rousey, Shotzi and Baszler. Rousey and Baszler start wrecking people before squaring off instead. Charlotte interrupts that as well so Rousey kicks out Shotzi.

Belair gets rid of Natalya but Natalya comes back in, only to be tossed by Rousey as well. Lita cleans house, including a middle rope hurricanrana on Ripley. The Litasault is loaded up but Ripley breaks it up and, say it with me, Charlotte gets rid of Lita. Ripley and Rousey fight to the apron and Charlotte kicks Ripley out. Belair kicks Charlotte on the apron and spinebusters Baszler but Baszler catches her in the Kirifuda Clutch. That’s reversed into a KOD attempt but Charlotte dumps both of them. We’re down to Rousey vs. Charlotte and they square off, until Charlotte missed a boot in the corner and gets dumped at 59:45.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t exactly great and showed just how little depth there was to the women’s division at this point. Of the thirty women involved, HALF of them were legends or returning names. I know why there is a Women’s Royal Rumble, but if you need to import half of the lineup, it might be time to put it on the shelf. With six of the entrants not even making it a minute each, this was a bunch of nothing until Rousey came in and won, because part timers and returning stars rule.

Titus O’Neil and company did their local charity stuff.

Raw Women’s Title: Doudrop vs. Becky Lynch

Doudrop is challenging and attacked Lynch leading up to the title match. After the Big Match Intros, Doudrop goes with the power to send Becky outside for a breather. Back in and Becky has to bail from a Vader Bomb, leaving Doudrop to get Cannonball the steps by mistake. Becky kicks away but what looks to be a tornado DDT is blocked. The sleeper puts Doudrop down to one knee but she powers out without much effort. Doudrop’s charge goes into the post and Becky hits the missile dropkick for two.

Becky gets run over again though and a backsplash connects for two. The triangle choke has Becky in some trouble but the sitout powerbomb breaks that up fast. The Cannonball gets two but Becky is back up with a Molly Go Round for two of her own. Doudrop’s throat is snapped across the top and a top rope Fameasser gets two more. Back up and Doudrop plants her for two more, only to have another Vader Bomb countered into a super Manhandle Slam to retain the title at 12:55.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t so much bad as much as it was a lot of standing around waiting on the finish. Doudrop wasn’t about to dethrone the biggest women’s star ever, even if this is a downgraded Becky. This was Becky being given a mountain to climb and I can absolutely give them points for running a fresh challenger out there. That’s a good thing, but you need to have an entertaining match to back it up and that wasn’t the case here. When the most exciting thing in a match is the Wrestlemania sign catching on fire, you’re in big trouble.

The announced attendance is 44,390.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Bobby Lashley. They’re very similar, they’re monsters, they were amateur wrestlers, the were mixed martial artists, now they’re having a title match.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Bobby Lashley

Lesnar is defending and has Paul Heyman with him while Lashley has MVP. They fight over a lockup to start until Lesnar snaps off a German suplex. Lashley is right back with one of his own but Lesnar hits two in a row. The F5 is countered though and Lashley hits a pair of spears to send Lesnar outside. Another spear sends Lashley through the barricade in the required big crash and Lesnar is rather smiley.

Lashley is back up to post Lesnar and they head back inside. Back in and Lesnar grabs more German suplexes but Lashley slaps on a quick Hurt Lock. Lesnar rams him into the corner for the break and the F5 hits Lashley, only to bump the referee at the same time. Cue Roman Reigns to spear Lesnar down before telling Heyman to hand over the title. Heyman does just that and a belt shot knocks Lesnar silly. Lashley gets the cover and the title at 10:14.

Rating: C+. That’s by far the match of the night so far as it felt like something actually happened. Lesnar vs. Lashley is a genuine dream match and something different for Lesnar, though he wrestled it similar to how he wrestles everything else. The Heyman twist was a good way to go and it’s nice to see Lashley get his title back, but this could have been something special and instead it was just ok. Granted Lashley injured his shoulder during the match so take it with a grain of salt.

Heyman leaves with Reigns as Lashley celebrates.

We recap Edge/Beth Phoenix vs. Maryse/Miz. Edge came back, Miz didn’t like it, the wives got involved, mixed tag.

Edge/Beth Phoenix vs. Miz/Maryse

Miz is knocked outside to start and Maryse is sent on top of him, allowing Edge to forearm Miz back inside. A cheap shot lets Miz take over on Edge and cannonball down onto his back. Maryse chokes a bit from the floor so Beth goes a stalking, for some reason thinking she needs a chair. Edge manages a quick implant DDT and Maryse can’t cut off the tag.

Beth comes in to beat up Maryse, including a spinning side slam for two. Miz goes after Beth and gets hammered down in the corner for his efforts. Maryse gets in a cheap shot with the loaded purse for two, setting up a camel clutch of all things. That’s broken up and Beth hits a clothesline for the double knockdown.

It’s back to Edge for the Edge-O-Matic on Miz, with Beth adding a powerbomb. Edge’s top rope elbow gets two but he spears the corner for the mishap. Maryse snaps off a top rope hurricanrana (that’s a new one for her) and there’s the French Kiss for Beth. The Skull Crushing Finale gets two on Edge and Miz gives us a shocked face. Beth is back up though and a double spear cuts Miz down. Mostly stereo Glam Slams give Edge the pin at 12:28.

Rating: C. Here is another match where it could have used some chicanery with Miz and Maryse cheating as much as they could have to win the thing and instead they played it pretty straight. The idea of battling couples works, but Edge and Beth aren’t going to lose to Miz and Maryse without all kinds of cheating and everyone knew it. Not an awful match, but another boring one on a show full of them.

A recipient of the Congressional Medal of Honor is here so we hear his story.

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals with AJ Styles in at #1 (and strikes a Shawn Michaels pose for some reason) and Shinsuke Nakamura (Intercontinental Champion) in at #2, meaning Pat McAfee gets to dance on the announcers’ table. A strike off goes to Nakamura, who hits the spinwheel kick to the head but can’t exploder Styles out. Styles knocks him into the corner and it’s Austin Theory in at #3. The rolling dropkick hits Styles to start but Nakamura goes for Theory.

Robert Roode is in at #4 and hits some spinebusters but Styles cuts him off. Styles reverses a whip and sends Roode outside for the quick elimination. Ridge Holland, with face guard, is in at #5 to run some people over. Styles gets rid of Nakamura and goes after Theory as Montez Ford is in at #6. Ford throws Theory to the apron but can’t get rid of him. Instead Ford kicks away at Holland to little effect and US Champion Damien Priest is in at #7.

A bunch of stomping ensues until Sami Zayn is in at #8. More nothing ensues and it’s Johnny Knoxville in at #9. Knoxville takes Sami down and hammers away before going after Styles. The Phenomenal Blitz drops Knoxville fast and Ford adds the frog splash. Sami Helluva Kicks Knoxville out but Styles dumps Zayn for a bonus. Angelo Dawkins is in at #10, giving us Styles, Theory, Holland, Ford, Priest, and Dawkins. Omos is in at #11 and he should get to clear some of the ring. There goes Dawkins and Ford follows him rather quickly.

Ricochet is in at #12 and get chopped by Omos as NOTHING continues to happen. Chad Gable is in at #13 and rallies the troops to go after Omos, which means sending Priest after him alone. With Priest gone, the rest of the group, plus Dominik Mysterio in at #14, gets rid of Omos. Happy Corbin is in at #15 and dumps Ricochet pretty fast. Dolph Ziggler is in at #16 as this is reaching some incredible levels of boring. Deep Six plants Dominik and Corbin gets rid of him, followed by Styles getting rid of Theory.

Sheamus is in at #17, with Holland being tossed before Sheamus can get inside. Rick Boogs is in at #18 and McAfee is excited, as compared to the eerily still crowd. Boogs tosses Gable and Madcap Moss is in at #19. Corbin tosses Styles, ending a nearly thirty minute run with….nothing (that’s the story of the match so far: nothing happens, and we’re just sitting around waiting as more people come in and go out).

It’s Riddle in at #20, giving us Corbin, Ziggler, Sheamus, Boogs, Moss and Riddle as this drones on. Corbin and Moss get rid of Boogs and Drew McIntyre returns from injury at #21. McIntyre wastes no time in getting rid of Moss and Corbin, which would somehow carry on through Wrestlemania. That’s not enough though as Drew follows them outside and unloads on them with steps to the head. Kevin Owens is in at #22 and Pop Up Powerbombs McIntyre.

Rey Mysterio is in at #23 and the fans are barely reacting to a string of big, popular names. Kofi Kingston is in at #24 and gets tossed to the apron fast. Owens breaks up a springboard attempt and Kofi lands on the barricade….but his feet hit the floor as Kofi finally botches his big save spot. It’s Otis in at #25 and hits some elbows as the mindless brawling continues.

Big E. is in at #26 and oh yeah, he’s a former WWE Champion. Belly to belly suplexes abound and the Warrior Splash hits Owens. Bad Bunny gets lucky #27 and gets to clean house, including a high crossbody, followed by a Canadian Destroyer to Riddle. Bunny ducks the Brogue Kick and ducks Sheamus before teaming up with Rey to get rid of Ziggler. Mysterio turns his back on Bunny and almost gets tossed, leaving Owens to Stun Bunny instead. Otis dumps Mysterio and Shane McMahon is in at #28.

Shane wastes no time in getting rid of Owens before slugging it out with McIntyre. Randy Orton, the hometown boy, is in at #29 and the RKO gets rid of Big E. Another RKO hits Otis and Riddle hits a running RKO to McIntyre. Otis is out….and Brock Lesnar is in at #30, meaning everyone knows exactly where this is going. Lesnar gets to clean house, including a bunch of suplexes before dumping Orton and Bunny. Riddle is tossed, Shane follows him, and it’s down to Lesnar vs. McIntyre. Some right hands look to set up the Claymore but Lesnar reversed into the F5 to win at 51:11.

Rating: D-. This was HORRIBLE and is absolutely in the running for worst Royal Rumble of all time. There was no drama until the end, but the bigger problem is there was nothing set up throughout the match. This is the third time I’ve seen this match and I still have no idea what is supposed to be interesting until the end. People come in, they brawl, they get eliminated, more people come in. It’s about 50 minutes of absolute nothing and then “oh well, here’s Brock to get ANOTHER Wrestlemania title match after two minutes of work”. This felt like they didn’t try and just said “Lesnar wins, move on”. Absolutely horrendous.

Overall Rating: D-. I’ve heard this show called the lowest of the low for WWE creative in this era and that very well may be true. The ONLY decent thing on the entire show was Rollins vs. Reigns, and that ended in a screwy finish. You also have Lesnar vs. Lashley and that doesn’t even require creative to work. Instead, we had two terrible Rumbles, one of which is an all time miss, plus some nothing midcard matches. The Rumbles are always going to define these shows though and these were all time terrible. Horrific show and it gets worse every time I watch it.

 

Ratings Comparison

Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

Original: B-
Redo: B

Women’s Royal Rumble:

Original: C-
Redo: D+.

Becky Lynch vs. Doudrop

Original: D+
Redo: C-

Brock Lesnar vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: B-
Redo: C+

Edge/Beth Phoenix vs. Miz/Maryse

Original: C
Redo: C

Men’s Royal Rumble

Original: C+
Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-
Redo: D-

WOW I have no idea what I was thinking on that Men’s Royal Rumble. That has to be up there on my all time list of stupid ratings.

 

Here is the original review if you need a recap.

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2022/01/30/royal-rumble-2022-at-least-something-caught-fire/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Royal Rumble 2019
Date: January 27, 2019
Location: Chase Field, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 48,193
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

It’s time to go back to the stadium with another major show. The Royal Rumble has changed a good bit in recent years as it is now another extended show with a pair of Royal Rumble matches instead of just one. No one is exactly jumping off the page as a favorite in either of them, though Becky Lynch is currently the most popular person in the company. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Bobby Roode/Chad Gable vs. Scott Dawson/Rezar

Non-title but if Dawson and Rezar (regular partners injured) win, the regular teams get a title shot each. And yes, this match was completely necessary as a last minute addition. The match is so awesome that a cameraman falls down during Roode and Gable’s entrance for the always fun camera shot. Drake Maverick is with Dawson and Rezar. Dawson’s headlock on Roode doesn’t get very far as Roode takes him into the corner for a monkey flip from Gable. Wilder wouldn’t have let that happen.

An exchange of near falls doesn’t go very far so Gable hits a springboard spinning crossbody for two. Dawson takes him down though and catapults Gable into a chokeslam to put the champs in trouble. Rezar chokes on the rope and Dawson grabs a northern lights suplex for two. The chinlock doesn’t last long as it’s back to Rezar to keep knocking Gable around.

Dawson sends him into the ropes but they bang heads for a double knockdown. Rezar comes back in and tries another chokeslam but Gable reverses into an armbar over the ropes. That’s enough for the hot tag off to Roode, who hits a spinebuster on Dawson. Back up and Dawson dropkicks Rezar by mistake, leaving Roode to take a neckbreaker/moonsault combination for the pin at 6:55.

Rating: D+. This would be a textbook definition of a match that did not need to be added to the show and did nothing more than fill in time. As usual, that’s not a good idea and yet it keeps happening around here almost every show. I’m not sure how much of a point there was to having the makeshift tag team thrown out there to lose when Akam wasn’t going to be back for months. Nothing good here and a match that didn’t need to happen.

Kickoff Show: United States Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Rusev

Nakamura is challenging and Lana is here with Rusev. Nakamura gets driven into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs and a suplex brings him right back out. They head outside but Nakamura gets in a running kick to the face off the steps, setting up the running knee to the jaw. Back in and Bad Vibrations into the running knee to the ribs gets two and we hit the front facelock. Rusev fights up and punches away, setting up the spinwheel kick for two.

Rating: C-. Just a little better than the opener but not all that much. Nakamura taking the title from Rusev just over a month into the title reign doesn’t exactly mean much, but that’s the case with so many of the midcard title changes around here. The match was a watchable enough power exchange but it still feels like a title change for the sake of a title change.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Hideo Itami vs. Kalisto vs. Akira Tozawa vs. Buddy Murphy

Murphy is defending, one fall to a finish, and Ariya Daivari is here with Itami. They circle each other for a bit until Itami rolls to the floor. That leaves the other three to trade rollups for two each until Murphy hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to drop Tozawa. Kalisto’s very springboardy hurricanrana is broken up as everything breaks down again. Kalisto tries a Cannonball off the apron but gets caught in Murphy’s suplex instead.

Itami gets back in and poses, meaning it’s time for the showdown with Murphy. The champ gets struck down in the corner and Itami demands respect as we can see his future going down the drain in a hurry. Murphy goes outside and tries to powerbomb Kalisto into the barricade, only to have Tozawa hit a suicide dive into Kalisto, which sends Murphy into the barricade for a crash. Itami throws Kalisto and Tozawa back inside so he can get two on each of them.

A Murphy distraction lets Kalisto kick Itami in the head and it’s a monkey flip to send Tozawa onto Murphy on the floor. Murphy comes back in and gets missile dropkicked by Tozawa, only to have Itami break up the top rope backsplash. Itami gets knocked to the outside though and Tozawa hits a suicide headbutt. Kalisto and Murphy follow with dives of their own with the champ getting the best of it.

Back in and Kalisto hits a hurricanrana driver for two on Murphy, who is right back up with a Liger Bomb for his own near fall. Tozawa scores with a reverse hurricanrana on Murphy but it’s Itami breaking that up. The Salida Del Sol gets two on Itami and everyone is down. A series of kicks puts everyone down again for a bit so Murphy knees Kalisto and Tozawa. Murphy slips out of whatever Itami’s spinning knee deal was (I STILL don’t get that one) and knees him down as well, setting up Murphy’s Law to retain at 12:06.

Rating: B-. Now that’s more like it with an action packed twelve minute match that actually felt like it mattered for a change. Or at least it felt like a match that had been set up more than thirty seconds before they came to the ring. Murphy continues to look like a star and it’s easy to see why he’s a much bigger deal just a year later.

The opening video looks at how important the Rumble is, with some great historical footage included. It has more history than any show not named Wrestlemania so it’s a smart move to go into that well. This switches into your regular opening video, which does its usual good job at looking at the rest of the card.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Becky Lynch vs. Asuka

Asuka is defending after taking the title from Becky in a TLC match at TLC, with Charlotte being included as well. Becky is on fire at this point and it’s a matter of time before she gets the big hero moment. They go with the aggressive lockup to start and that goes absolutely nowhere. Becky’s running shoulder earns her a running dropkick and a lot of shouting from the champ. Neither of them can get the arm so Asuka kicks her in the leg for two instead.

Becky is right back up with shots to the face and a kick to the ribs, followed by a running clothesline to sent Asuka to the floor. They switches places and you just don’t do that to Asuka, who scores with the running hip attack. Asuka heads outside as well and gets sent into the apron, only to send Becky into the post. The Bexploder sends Asuka into the barricade though and Becky is starting to seethe.

That means the aggressive stomping in the corner and the next of what is likely to be a bunch of armbars. That’s broken up so Becky avoids another hip attack and hammers away in the ropes. Asuka isn’t about to get beaten up though and pulls Becky into the Asuka Lock while still in the ropes. With that broken up, Becky fights out of the corner and grabs a Disarm-Her in the corner. That doesn’t last long either so Asuka knees her out of the air. Asuka strikes away but misses a missile dropkick so Becky can hit a Rock Bottom for two.

Back up again and they fight to the apron with Asuka hitting a fisherman’s neckbreaker to the floor and they’re both down. Asuka is in first and Becky beats the count, earning herself a basement dropkick to the head. They slug it out until Asuka kicks her head off for two. Asuka goes up so Becky stops her with a kick of her own and a super Bexploder gets a rather near fall as the crowd is staying right with them.

The middle rope legdrop misses though and Asuka catches her in a Disarm-Her. To keep up the same line of thinking, Becky gets her own Asuka Lock before switching to the Disarm-Her. Becky is too weak to get it on in full so Asuka rolls out and grabs the Asuka Lock and flips forward Cattle Mutilation style for the tag at 17:09.

Rating: B+. These two beat the heck out of each other and that finisher was the mega death version of the Asuka Lock. It’s really weird to see Becky lose though and it was even more surprising watching this live as Becky was the hottest thing around. Having her tap is a bit much, but sweet goodness would they get mileage out of that loss. The counters and different styles were awesome here though and it’s a near instant classic.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Shane McMahon/The Miz vs. The Bar

The Bar is defending and Miz’s dad is in the front row. Miz and Shane are together because of the Best In The World tournament but Shane has agreed to be nice to him so they can succeed together. In other words, expect the Shane Show to continue. Shane spears Sheamus down at the bell and it’s time for an early breather. Miz comes in to roll Cesaro up for two but it’s way too early for the Skull Crushing Finale.

Sheamus grabs Miz from behind to hold him in the corner though and Cesaro scores with the running uppercut. A right hand knocks Shane to the floor so Miz kicks away to avenge his fallen partner. They all head outside with Miz having to be saved from a double powerbomb through the announcers’ table. It’s too early for the big elbow through the table so Shane hits a top rope clothesline on Sheamus instead.

Shane gets sent hard into the barricade and that should let him stay down and use up all the oxygen in the first three rows. Back in and Sheamus drops a knee on Miz before cranking on the arm. The ten forearms to the chest and a double suplex back in get two as Shane is back up onto the apron. Cesaro drops a middle rope ax handle for two and Sheamus comes back in to talk more trash.

Miz sends Sheamus to the floor though and a backdrop puts Cesaro down as well. That’s finally enough for the hot tag to Shane and it’s bad punches a go-go. A DDT gets two on Sheamus and Shane loads up Coast To Coast to both of them at once. Cesaro pulls him out of the air and into the Swing though and it’s a rather long one this time.

Since it was just a really long Swing, Shane is right back with a triangle choke. Sheamus makes a save and it’s the spike White Noise for two, with no one making the save. Well you knew he was going to kick out of at least one finisher. Miz is back in to save Shane from the Brogue Kick, which hits Cesaro by mistake. The shooting star press finishes Cesaro for the titles at 13:23.

Rating: C. It’s every complaint about a Shane match that you could find: he’s pushed too hard, he looks ready to explode from hyperventilating after about eighteen seconds and he kicks out of a big finisher. Oh and now he’s a champion, naturally getting the pin in the process. It had already gotten bad and it was only going to get worse from here.

Shane and Miz celebrate with Papa Mizanin as the announcers get to praise Shane a bit.

Cole announces the attendance and Meltzer has a correction out immediately.

We recap Ronda Rousey vs. Sasha Banks. Rousey wants to see Banks get fired up and is ready to show us the difference between a Boss and a champion. Sasha promised to prove how good she was and made Natalya tap in a tag match on Monday. Graves: “It’s one thing to make Natalya submit.” Nice little unintentional insult there.

Sasha isn’t concerned about keeping her emotions in check. Tonight, she’s proving that she’s the best in the world.

Raw Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Ronda Rousey

Rousey is defending and goes straight for the armbar but Banks armdrags her right back down. A springboard armdrag doesn’t work that well and Rousey mocks Banks’ pose. Rousey tries her own Three Amigos but Banks blocks the third, only to have to go to the ropes to avoid an armbar. A kick to the ribs puts Banks on the floor but Rousey punches the post by mistake.

That lets Banks hit a suicide dive to put Rousey down for a change. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Banks hits the running knees in the corner instead. Back up and Rousey hits a running elbow to the face for two so Banks hits a running knee of her own for the same. Rousey shrugs it off and loads up Piper’s Pit but gets reversed into a nasty armbar, complete with some finger bending.

Banks switches over into the Bank Statement but it’s broken up in a hurry. Now Piper’s Pit can connect and Rousey armbars her over the ropes. Rousey goes up but gets superplexed right back down so Banks can go back to the armbar. You don’t do that to Rousey, who rolls Banks over with some judo throws. They go outside with Rousey grabbing the armbar in full to make Banks tap.

Back in and Rousey hammers away in the corner but Banks gets in a shot of her own for the double knockdown. The armbar is broken up again and another Piper’s Pit is countered into a crossbody. The Bank Statement goes on until Banks switches to a Fujiwara armbar. Rousey rolls out and gutwrench suplexes the heck out of her, setting up another Piper’s Pit for the pin at 13:49.

Rating: B. This took time to get going but they were rolling at the end. Rousey was such a freak of nature as she probably hadn’t had 25 matches by this point (certainly not 10 big ones) and was going back and forth with one of the best around on the big stage. The battle of the submissions attempts worked well here and I got way into this all over again.

Post match they do a left handed handshake since Banks’ arm is wrecked. Banks does hold up the Horsewomen sign though because she isn’t the nicest loser in the world.

We recap the Kickoff Show. We’re so lucky.

John Cena has been injured and won’t be participating in the Royal Rumble. He was totally and really here and everything though. Honest. Braun Strowman is replacing him.

Beth Phoenix joins commentary.

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and Lacey Evans (making her main roster in-ring debut, save for a random Main Event match) is in at #1, meaning she needs to introduce herself. Natalya is in at #2 and Lacey runs the ropes to start. Neither can hit a dropkick and Lacey can’t quite do a nip up. A clothesline can’t get rid of Natalya and she reverses a powerbomb with a hurricanrana. Natalya hits the discus lariat as Mandy Rose is in at #3, sending Graves over the edge all over again.

Another discus lariat drops Mandy and it’s the double Sharpshooter, which Graves says is like the even more stuffed Oreos. Liv Morgan is in at #4 and is out in less than ten seconds. Lacey and Mandy start double teaming Natalya but Lacey sends Mandy into the corner for the double Bronco Buster. Mickie James is in at #5, giving us the first non-blonde. House is cleaned in a hurry until Mickie has to save herself from being tossed by Mandy. Ember Moon is in at #6 and gets to clean house as well. No one can eliminate anyone else and it’s Billie Kay in at #7.

She’s fine with staying on the floor though, saying she’s going to wait for Peyton Royce to go in. More non-eliminations continue and it’s Nikki Cross in at #8 (Graves: “Batten down the hatches.” I really need to find out what hatches are and what it means to batten something.). She runs over Billie at ringside and then dives onto everyone else inside. Mandy and Nikki have a weird showdown with Nikki getting the better of it. Billie is inside now and get beaten up as well because she isn’t great on her own. Peyton Royce is in at #9 and it’s IIconics time. The team beats down Nikki and it’s time to fight on the ropes some more.

Tamina is in at #10, giving us Lacey, Natalya, Mandy, Mickie, Ember, Billie, Nikki Peyton and Tamina, meaning the ring is too full. Tamina gets to wreck people until Nikki gets to have another not that interesting staredown. A dropkick and tackle put Tamina through the ropes but she’s right back in with a kick to Nikki’s face. Mickie low bridges Tamina to the apron but she comes back in with the Superfly Splash to Nikki. A superkick gets rid of Mickie and it’s Xia Li in at #11.

Li kicks away at a lot of people but gets knocked down by Tamina. Sarah Logan, in Braveheart paint, is in at #12 as the ring is full and the crowd is dead. Ember has to hang on by her feet but pulls herself back in (finally a reaction) and the IIconics get rid of Cross. Charlotte is in at #13 and PLEASE get rid of some people. She gets jumped on the way in but everyone is fought off in a hurry. Lacey eliminates both IIconics at once and Charlotte kicks Li out to finally clear the ring a bit. Charlotte and Tamina have a staredown (NO ONE CARES ABOUT TAMINA!!!) and Charlotte gets rocked by a superkick.

Kairi Sane is in at #14 and she runs to the ring while looking through a telescope because of course she does. Charlotte gets rid of Tamina as Sane dives in. Charlotte chops Sane down but she’s right back up with the Insane Elbow to Logan. That’s enough to get rid of Sarah and it’s Maria Kanellis in at #15. She breaks up a staredown between Charlotte and Lacey, including a double bulldog. Charlotte is back up with a spear to Maria, who apparently doesn’t belong in this ring.

Naomi is in at #16 and that wakes the crowd up a bit. Mandy sends Naomi to the apron but gets backdropped out, only to pull Naomi to the floor. The feet don’t touch so Naomi backflips onto the barricade, tightrope walks across, and does a crazy athletic jump from the barricade to the steps. And then Mandy pulls her off the steps for the elimination anyway in a great heel move. Charlotte kicks Lacey out and it’s Candice LeRae in at #17. Candice Black Widows Ember but it’s broken up in a hurry.

Natalya powerbombs Charlotte out of the corner and it’s Alicia Fox in at #18 (I had almost forgotten about her.). Maria wants to be friends with Alicia so they beat up Sane. Alicia puts her captain’s hat on Maria before stopping to dance. Maria throws it on the ground and stomps on it….sending Alicia into a fit. She’s back up to eliminate Maria though as Kacy Catanzaro is in at #19 and starts with the hurricanranas. A slingshot version puts Alicia on the apron but she skins the cat to come back in.

Zelina Vega is in at #20, giving us Natalya, Moon, Charlotte, Sane, Candice, Alicia, Catanzaro and Vega. Candice and Vega slug it out as fallout from Andrade vs. Johnny Gargano but they slow down, meaning it’s yet another lull. Ruby Riott is in at #21 and has Logan and Morgan with her so all three pull Charlotte to the floor for some triple teaming. Fox gets the same treatment and Vega rolls to the floor to hide underneath the ring.

Riott throws Fox back inside and then eliminates her, followed by a powerbomb into the barricade for LeRae and another elimination. Dana Brooke is in at #22 and hits a weird looking sitout powerbomb on Catanzaro. Now the Squad pulls Brooke to the floor (I really can’t stand this whole people being on the floor but not eliminated deal as it makes things more confusing than they need to be) and Riott eliminates Sane. Io Shirai is in at #23 and dropkicks the Squad down, setting up the big moonsault to the floor (she was never in so it’s not an elimination).

Shirai and Riott go over the top to the apron for a slugout but they both get back in. Rhea Ripley is in at #24 but the star power hasn’t started for her just yet. She wrecks things a bit until Moon takes her down with a wheelbarrow faceplant. Brooke kicks Catanzaro to the floor but she holds her legs up, hand walks to the post, flips up to it and climbs back in to blow away Naomi’s save. Ripley blocks Catanzaro’s spinning DDT though and tosses her out for real.

Sonya Deville is in at #25 and spears Moon down but Brooke hits her with a shoulder. Brooke enziguris Ripley but gets sent to the apron and dropkicked out. Vega leans from under the ring to laugh at Brooke….and here’s freaking Hornswoggle to chase Vega back inside. That doesn’t last long as Ripley throws her out, with Hornswoggle chasing Vega to the back. Alexa Bliss is in at #26 to a MAJOR pop in her first match since September. The moonsault knees to the ribs hit Moon but Sonya pounds Bliss down in the corner. Bliss is right back by sending her to the apron though and a right hand gets rid of Sonya.

Bayley is in at lucky #27 and gets her own house cleaning segment, including a clothesline to get rid of Riott. That’s not all though as she knocks Ripley out as well as Lana is in at #28. Well not in really as she can barely walk due to her ankle injury from earlier. The trainer comes out to check on her in the aisle as Shirai saves herself from an elimination. Lana is still being checked on as Nia Jax is in at #29, only to jump Lana in the aisle for a bonus.

Fit Finlay comes out to tell her to go to the ring and it’s time for the giant to wreck some people. Shirai makes the mistake of trying a moonsault and gets knocked out in a hurry. Natalya somehow gets Jax up for a fireman’s carry but can’t do anything else with it and gets eliminated after 56 minutes. Carmella is in at #30 (an honor she won in Mixed Match Challenge), giving us a final group of Moon, Charlotte, Bliss, Bayley, Lana, Jax and Carmella, though Lana hasn’t gotten anywhere near the ring.

Carmella gets in a dropkick on Moon but Jax runs her over. Hold on though as Lana is still down so here’s Becky Lynch to say she wants the spot instead. Finlay says do it and the fans are WAY into this again. Becky gets the long awaited showdown with Jax but Charlotte breaks it up and sends Becky to the apron. That doesn’t work either and it’s Becky coming back in with a missile dropkick to Jax. Bliss goes after Moon and pulls her to the apron by the hair (freaking ow man) and then chokeshoves her out after a rather ridiculous 53 minutes.

Carmella hits a Bronco Buster on Bliss and there’s a Buckle Bomb from Bayley. Carmella and Bayley team up to throw Bliss out so Jax clotheslines them both. Charlotte saves Becky from Jax’s facebreaker so Carmella gives Becky a Downward Spiral instead. For some reason Charlotte goes up top so Carmella tries a running headscissors, only to get sent to the apron.

That lasts all of two seconds but Charlotte puts her out there again and a big boot gets us down to four (Bayley, Jax, Charlotte and Becky). Bayley dropkicks Charlotte and Jax against the ropes but Jax is right back with a big boot to eliminate Bayley, leaving us with three. The three way showdown is on with Jax splashing both of them in the corner. That sends Becky to the floor (not out) and it’s a Charlotte vs. Jax showdown that is a little more interesting than it sounds.

Something like a slow motion AA has Jax in trouble but Charlotte can’t follow up. Charlotte gets her onto the apron and Becky pulls her out, leaving us with Charlotte vs. Becky in the rivalry that won’t end. Hold on though as Jax shoves Becky off the steps and we have a knee injury. Referees check on her but Becky pulls herself back in for the fight. Well kind of at least as Becky falls straight back down as soon as she’s inside.

Becky says it’s her time and Charlotte has already taken enough from her. Charlotte, obviously, goes right after the knee but Becky kicks her in the face. She sends Charlotte to the apron but another kick to the leg cuts off the rally. Charlotte misses a charge though and a forearm sends Becky to Wrestlemania at 1:11:23.

Rating: D+. The Becky parts made it better but WOW this was badly laid out. There were far too many instances of people just standing around and doing nothing with several people staying in there too long. Ember for 52 minutes? Natalya for 56? Mandy Rose for nearly 26? You don’t need everyone in there for that long and it’s ok to come up with something other than “everyone stays on the ropes while two people do something in the middle” over and over. They got the right winner but it was a heck of a chore to get there.

Becky can barely stand but is very pleased with the results. The celebration goes on for a LONG time.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Daniel Bryan for the Smackdown World Title. Bryan turned heel to steal the title and became the crazy environmentalist so, after losing to Brock Lesnar at Survivor Series, it’s time for a (second) rematch. AJ is out to show that he isn’t complacent, which included attacking Vince McMahon in a story that went nowhere.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Daniel Bryan

AJ is challenging. We get the Big Match Intros and AJ hammers him down in the corner so the champ bails for a bit. Back in and they fight on the mat for a bit with AJ’s wristlock not getting him very far. A headlock works a bit better as the first gear work continues. Bryan bails to the floor again but comes back in….to get punched in the face. An uppercut puts Styles in the corner and he gets dropped chest first onto the post to give Bryan a target.

Bryan starts in on the shoulder and cranks on a hammerlock on the mat with Styles having to use his foot to reach a rope. A cross armbreaker is broken up as well so Bryan punches him in the face to even the score. AJ scores with a dropkick and the pinfall reversal sequence gets some near falls each. Bryan tosses him hard into the corner and that means the running dropkick.

A dragon suplex has AJ (with his bloody nose) rocked again and Bryan kicks him off the top and out to the floor. Bryan goes out after him but it’s the moonsault off the barricade into the perfect reverse DDT (that’s one of the best he’s ever hit). Back in and the springboard 450 hits Bryan’s knees, meaning the LeBell Lock goes on. Not to be outdone, AJ escapes and reverses into the Calf Crusher to stay on the knee.

That’s broken up as well and they’re both down for a bit. Bryan gets up first and kicks away at the arm, setting up the big kick to the head for two. AJ catches him on top and they slug it out up there, with Styles backflipping out of a belly to back superplex. The Calf Crusher goes on again before AJ switches to a cradle for two instead. Neither can get a backslide so AJ grabs a brainbuster for two more.

Rating: B+. I’m not wild on the ending but you can’t have AJ lose a clean fall here. They were working a heck of a match here with both of them going with their own style and having the other broken down. I don’t particularly care for Rowan interfering, but he and Bryan would wind up being a nice enough team so well done, even if it wasn’t the best feeling at the time.

Post match Rowan holds AJ up for the running knee from Bryan so things can continue.

We recap Finn Balor vs. Brock Lesnar for the Raw World Title in a match hyped up as David vs. Goliath. Balor is small but can do extraordinary stuff so he wants to fight Lesnar. This isn’t the Demon for reasons of Balor wanting to do it himself, even though the Demon IS Balor, meaning the whole thing doesn’t make a lot of sense. Or they just don’t want Lesnar losing because that wouldn’t be very Lesnarish.

Raw World Title: Finn Balor vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. Balor dropkicks him at the bell to start and another running dropkick sends him into the corner. The first belly to belly cuts him off in a hurry though and we settle down for the first time. Another belly to belly on the floor rocks Balor again and it’s time to load up the announcers’ table.

Balor sends him ribs first into the corner of said table though and he does it again for painful measure. Brock can barely stand up as he throws Balor back inside for the shoulders in the corner. Another belly to belly has Balor flying but Lesnar is wincing a bit. Lesnar gets in yet another suplex but this time Balor is up with a Sling Blade. That’s it for the offense though as Lesnar BLASTS him with a clothesline.

Lesnar can’t hit a German suplex though as the stomach gives out. The F5 is countered into a DDT and Balor gets smart by stomping at the ribs. The big flip dive to the floor puts Lesnar down again and Balor hits a second for good measure. A third flip dive takes Lesnar down again but Renee says we’re having a new champion to end Balor’s hopes. Back in and Balor kicks him in the face, setting up the Coup de Grace for two, with Lesnar spinning into the Kimura on the kickout, making Balor tap at 8:36.

Rating: C+. Well that was short. They had some moments in there but at the same time, Lesnar wasn’t exactly doing much for the first half of the match. It got better once he was selling but there are only so many things you can do in less than nine minutes. The stuff with Lesnar’s stomach being messed up was enough to go somewhere, but this was only so good.

Post match Lesnar beats Balor up a few more times. This is something else that went nowhere.

Jerry Lawler and JBL join commentary.

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals again and Elias is in at #1, meaning it’s time for a song. Well make that insulting Phoenix until he’s interrupted by Jeff Jarrett of all people at #2. Jeff gets to strut and say ain’t I great as Elias is rather pleased by being interrupted by someone who brings something to the table. For now though, they need to sing together. And yes, they really are doing this three hours and forty minutes into a show with an hour long match to go. Jeff goes to spell his name so Elias hits him in the face to get things going.

Elias hammers away on the ropes and hits a clothesline so he can get in another catchphrase. A guitar shot to the back is enough to get rid of Jeff. Shinsuke Nakamura, last year’s winner, is in at #3 and he wastes no time in kicking Elias down. For some reason Elias goes up top for Old School, though it’s just an armdrag instead of a shot to the back. Kurt Angle is in at #4 to a big reaction and he starts in with the suplexes. Elias gets him in the corner though and it’s Big E. in at #5, with his gear including Kofi’s best Rumble moments. That’s rather cool….I think.

The Warrior Splash hits Nakamura but an Angle Slam takes Big E. down. Nakamura is back up with the running knee to Angle’s ribs and another running knee gets rid of Kurt. Honestly, it’s better to have him out that fast before he hurts himself again. Johnny Gargano is in at #6 and gets to clean house on Nakamura and Big E. The slingshot spear cuts Elias down and it’s Jinder Mahal in at #7. After he knocks everyone down, Gargano knocks Mahal out in about thirty seconds. The Singh Brothers get beaten up for a bonus and now it’s back to something that actually matters.

Samoa Joe is in at #8, just as Nakamura is surrounded in the corner. Elias gets kicked down and Joe just walks away from Gargano’s middle rope dive (that will always be cool). Joe dumps Big E. and it’s Curt Hawkins in at #9, still in the middle of his horrible losing streak. Hawkins gets in a few shots but bails to the floor in what is probably a smart move. The fans get behind Hawkins, even as Joe grabs him in the Koquina Clutch. For some reason Elias breaks that up and Hawkins bails to the floor again, this time hiding underneath the ring.

Seth Rollins is in at #10, giving us Elias, Nakamura, Gargano, Samoa Joe, Hawkins and Rollins. The springboard clotheslines hits Elias and there’s the Falcon Arrow to Gargano. Elias gets sent to the apron and then into the post for the elimination. It’s Titus O’Neil in at #11 and he crosses himself before charging to the ring, only to stop himself before getting to the apron in a funny moment. Titus sees Hawkins hiding underneath the ring and chases him inside, only to be eliminated almost immediately. Joe throws Hawkins out a second later to end the harmless comedy segment.

With the ring a little more cleared out, Kofi Kingston is in at #12 and things settle down a bit. As everyone fights by the ropes, Mustafa Ali is in at #13. Joe is waiting on him so Ali scores with a dropkick, only to get grabbed by Nakamura. That’s fine with Ali, who slips over the back and tells Nakamura to COME ON. Nakamura does just that and gets tossed out by Ali in quite the upset. Ali isn’t done either as he hits a tornado DDT on Gargano, only to get planted by Joe. Dean Ambrose, still in his pretty disastrous heel run, is in at #14 and goes right at it with Rollins, as expected.

With that broken up, Dean sends Kofi over the top but Kofi keeps one foot off the ground and rolls over to the steps to save himself. That’s not as good as his others, but maybe he’s crashing underneath the expectations. Kingston comes back in with a DDT to Dean, who is right back up to get rid of Gargano. No Way Jose, with the Conga Line, is in at #15 and Joe literally eliminates him in two seconds. No worries though as he and the Conga Line dance to the back as that was quite the use of an entrance.

Drew McIntyre is in at #16 and headbutts Jose for dancing too close to him. After cleaning some house, Joe and McIntyre slug it out for the hoss fight. The Claymore drops Joe and there’s one for Rollins as well as Xavier Woods is in at #17. As he is coming in, Kofi is knocked off the apron but sunset flips Woods, allowing him to keep one foot up.

Woods stands up with Kofi on his back (Cole to JBL: “I remember when you and Ron used to do this.”) and walks over to the steps for the real save of the year. Then McIntyre eliminates Woods and Kingston a second later because this show doesn’t like fun to last too long (completely appropriate for McIntyre of course). Pete Dunne is in at #18 and that gets a nice reaction. Dunne goes after Joe and Graves is rather pleased with everything going on at the moment.

Ali hangs on after being thrown to the apron and it’s Andrade in at #19. Andrade goes after Dunne in a match that sounds rather interesting indeed. With no one close to an elimination, Apollo Crews is in at #20, giving us Joe, Rollins, Ali, Ambrose, McIntyre, Dunne, Andrew and Apollo. McIntyre is sent to the apron and it’s Aleister Black (without the riser) in at #21. He goes right after Dunne in another match that sounds awesome (it’s almost like Dunne is great or something) but switches to Ambrose, with Black Mass connecting for the elimination.

Shelton Benjamin is in at #22 and goes at it with Crews for the athletic freak off. Crews saves himself from being eliminated as Shelton gets Koquina Clutched. That’s broken up and Ali dumps Joe in an upset. Baron Corbin is in at #23, fresh from his shift at *insert restaurant joke of the day here*. Deep Six drops Ali but he hangs onto the rope so Corbin knocks out Crews instead. Black and McIntyre slug it out and it’s Jeff Hardy in at #24 to keep the talent field high.

Lashley pulls Rollins, who low bridged him out, to the floor and beats the heck out of him to let off some steam. Rollins is spinebustered through the announcers’ table and it’s Braun Strowman in at lucky #27 for a possible (though unlikely) winner. Strowman knocks Corbin out in a hurry and there goes Benjamin a few seconds later. McIntyre dumps Hardy as Dolph Ziggler, his recent rival, is in at #28. That means a superkick to get rid of McIntyre and it’s Randy Orton in at #29 for the slow walk to the ring.

Strowman is right there for the showdown and the RKO is blocked in a hurry. Andrade loads up a superplex on Ali, so Strowman puts them BOTH on his shoulders with Mysterio diving off the top to take them down in your HOW CAN HE DO THAT spot of the match. R-Truth (also here because of the Mixed Match Challenge) is in at #30….but hang on as Nia Jax of all people jumps him from behind to take his spot, continuing the near trolling levels of a push. That gives us a final group of Rollins, Ali, Andrade, Orton, Strowman, Ziggler, Orton and Jax.

Nia gets to wreck some people and Ali is out in a hurry after a surprising thirty plus minutes. Orton stares Jax down but can’t hit the surprise RKO attempt, earning himself a shoulder down. Jax tells Rey to go for the 619 on Orton but cuts him off, only to get superkicked by Ziggler. The 619 hits Jax and Orton connects with the RKO, setting up a baseball slide from Mysterio to get rid of her.

Orton tosses Mysterio and Andrade dumps Orton, leaving us with Ziggler, Andrade, and Rollins and Strowman on the floor. Strowman comes back in and splashes Andrade and Ziggler in the corners to send them outside again. Hold on though as Strowman needs to go to the floor again to run Rollins over.

Everyone goes after Strowman in a 2004 flashback but he gets rid of Andrade and Ziggler. Rollins uses the momentum to put him on the apron but charges into a chokeslam. Back in and Rollins grabs a guillotine to pull Strowman to the apron and sends him into the post. A kick to the ribs sets up the Stomp on the apron to get rid of Strowman to give Rollins the win at 57:34.

Rating: B. This was much more like it with a nice mix of brawling, comedy, action and an only somewhat guaranteed winner. I know you can’t really hide the fact that someone is a shoe in winner but it’s nice to see them at least giving it a little bit more drama. Rollins winning made sense here as he had been on fire for the last year and needed something like this. Good Rumble, though there have been a lot better.

SIGN POINTING, yes I said SIGN POINTING, ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I’m curious to see how this one holds up against the original rating as the length was driving me crazy this time around. There is a lot of good stuff on here but EGADS it’s a two hour Kickoff Show and then four hours and forty minutes of the main show. You really needed to have the weird Tag Team Title deal on the Kickoff Show and then put Miz and Shane on the main show? That, plus Bryan vs. Styles, could have been on a big Smackdown at worst and this show could have been trimmed down by 45 minutes.

The only bad thing on here is the women’s Royal Rumble, but when that one match is nearly an hour and fifteen minutes long, it has quite the negative impact on the rest of the show. The men’s match makes up for it and the card is much better than worse, but they really, really need to stop with these shows getting close to (or over in Wrestlemania’s case) seven hours. It doesn’t matter how good it is. If you’re going three hours over the length of Wrestlemania X7, the time is going to cause a lot of problems. Anyway, good show, which could have been great with a big editing job.

Ratings Comparison

Chad Gable/Bobby Roode vs. Scott Dawson/Rezar

Original: D+

2020 Redo: D+

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Rusev

Original: C

2020 Redo: C-

Buddy Murphy vs. Hideo Itami vs. Akira Tozawa vs. Kalisto

Original: C+

2020 Redo: B-

Asuka vs. Becky Lynch

Original: B+

2020 Redo: B+

The Bar vs. Shane McMahon/The Miz

Original: D

2020 Redo: C

Sasha Banks vs. Ronda Rousey

Original: B+

2020 Redo: B

Women’s Royal Rumble

Original: B

2020 Redo: D+

AJ Styles vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: C-

2020 Redo: B+

Brock Lesnar vs. Finn Balor

Original: C+

2020 Redo: C+

Men’s Royal Rumble

Original: D

2020 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2020 Redo: B-

WOW. I was actually shocked by the original ratings of those Rumbles and the Styles vs. Bryan match. I’ve mellowed a lot since then as the show really isn’t that bad.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/01/28/royal-rumble-2019-i-almost-had-a-birthday-watching-this-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2017
Date: January 29, 2017
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 52,020
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

The aisle is crazy long and would require a cart to bring some of the wrestlers to the ring during the Rumble. There’s something cool about that, on both fronts actually.

Kickoff Show: Naomi/Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James/Natalya

Nikki and Natalya start things off with Natalya doing You Can’t See Me. That means a slap to the face and there are so few people being so quiet that you can hear what the women are saying. Bliss comes in and gets caught with a facebuster for two. It’s off to Naomi for half of a double dropkick with Nikki’s part not even coming close. Nikki and company hit a triple suplex to send them outside, followed by a dive from Naomi as we take a break.

Back with Becky clotheslining Natalya and hitting a running forearm in the corner. They head outside with Mickie getting in a cheap shot to drop Becky, allowing Natalya to snap a suplex to really take over. Back in and Becky gets driven into the corner again, allowing Bliss to choke a bit. Mickie adds a hard kick to the face as the announcers argue over whether or not cheating is smart.

A Michinoku Driver plants Becky but Natalya can’t get Suplex City (Her words. Well Lesnar’s words, though JR said it about thirteen years earlier.). Instead it’s a double clothesline so Naomi can come in and clean house. The still dumb looking dancing kicks drop Bliss as everything breaks down. A kick to the head sets up the split legged moonsault to give Naomi the pin on Bliss at 9:39.

Rating: C-. The lack of a crowd either in their seats or really interested in this one hurt it a lot but the work wasn’t terrible. The women’s division had gotten so much better by this point that you could trust them to go out and have a match like this, though the stories need to be stronger. I’m really having an issue caring about Nikki never getting to marry her dream husband and complete her fairy tale story but I’m not exactly the target audience.*

Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Team Titles: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows

Sheamus and Cesaro are defending and there are two referees due to some screwy finishes as of late. The crowd is MUCH better now, making the place look like there’s an actual audience for the show. Cesaro dropkicks Anderson at the bell for two and a gutwrench suplex gets the same less than thirty seconds in.

Gallows loads up a cheap shot from the apron but the second referee catches him, making the gimmick actually work. Sheamus grabs a Regal Roll into Cesaro’s jumping double stomp for two more but Anderson is back up with a kick to the face to take over. It’s off to Gallows, who is quickly kicked down so the champs can take him into the corner. This has been mostly one sided so far but Gallows gets in a backdrop for a breather. Not that the fans seem to care for the most part though.

A big boot knocks Sheamus off the apron and we take a break. Back (after the commercial has been cut from the Network) with Cesaro suplexing Gallows and rolling over to bring Sheamus back in. The ten forearms to the chest have Gallows in trouble and a top rope clothesline gets two. Super White Noise gets the same but Gallows shoves Sheamus away and makes the hot tag to Anderson.

The second referee won’t allow some cheating so Swiss Death gives Cesaro two. A 619 and a high crossbody give him the same but Anderson kicks him down again. Sheamus breaks up the Magic Killer and a referee eats a Brogue Kick. The second referee comes in to see Cesaro put Anderson in the Sharpshooter, only to have Gallows break it up with a kick to the face. Everything breaks down again and it’s a Magic Killer for Sheamus, followed by a rollup with tights to pin Cesaro at 10:28.

Rating: C+. Nice power fight here with both teams hitting each other rather hard. That’s all this needed to be, though I could go for adding a different style in there. Power vs. power isn’t going to work all that well in the long term but at least they had a good match here. These title changes didn’t really matter though as it was all going to change when the Hardys came back. No one knew that yet though and at least we had something good here.

Kickoff Show: Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

Nia injured her a month or so ago and tonight is about revenge. Sasha doesn’t have her knee brace on as Nia drives her into the ropes and easily shoves off a headlock. A rope walk springboard goes just as badly as Banks can’t get anything going early on. Jax runs her over and we take an early break.

Back with Sasha trying a standing Bank Statement and having it broken up with ease. Jax grabs a Brock Lock and swings Banks around until a rope can be grabbed. Sasha finally avoids a charge to send Jax into the post, followed by the top rope double knees for two. Sasha comes up holding her knee though and the pop up Samoan drop puts her away at 5:13.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash and really only served to keep Nia around. Banks is going to be fine after a loss like this while Nia still doesn’t have the big defining win (which would still be the case a year later). There was no need for this to be on pay per view though and it could have easily been done on Raw. That’s never a good sign.

And now, a nearly four hour show. I know I say this a lot but I’m almost gassed just watching that Kickoff Show. There’s really no need to do it this way, especially when you have the horrible empty stadium for the first match.

Completely standard opening video, though they do play in the cool “Remember the Rumble” tagline to show off a lot of the famous clips. If there’s one thing WWE does well, it’s look back at their own history. The rest of the matches get some time as well with each one having something to remember as well.

Raw Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending and still has never lost a singles match on pay per view. Bayley gets wrestled down to start as Charlotte grabs a front facelock. The fans seem split here despite giving Bayley a heck of a reaction on her entrance. Charlotte heads outside for no apparent reason, allowing Bayley to grab her by the hair and snap her over the middle rope (basically a Stunner) to take over. A headscissors gets two and it’s already time to hit the stalling.

Bayley makes the mistake of going outside and gets kicked into the steps as she doesn’t have much of an answer for Charlotte’s power game. Back in and Charlotte slams Bayley’s face into the mat a few times but makes sure to throw in a quick pose (that’s the Flair in her). We hit the chinlock with Charlotte’s hair falling over Bayley’s face, giving us a rather odd visual of Bayley as a blonde. A knee drop gets two on Bayley and Charlotte is getting annoyed at Bayley sticking around.

Yet another kickout off a neckbreaker makes the frustration even worse so Charlotte does her figure four necklock into the face plants on the mat. The flips to send Bayley back first into the mat make it even worse as Charlotte is completely dominant so far. Charlotte stops to mock Bayley though and a heck of a slap cuts the champ off. A battle of the chops goes to Charlotte (well duh) but Bayley bounces out of the corner with an armdrag. A springboard crossbody (with a few too many bounces) drops Charlotte again and a jumping spinning Downward Spiral (not bad) does it again.

The top rope elbow (which looked awesome on impact) gets a very close two and you can feel the crowd breathe on the kickout. Charlotte (who might be bleeding from the mouth) kicks the knee out though and the Figure Four goes on. The referee catches her grabbing the ropes though and both women are down. Charlotte is up first but her moonsault only grazes knees to give Bayley two. Bayley goes up but gets shoved off to the floor in a heap. As she gets back in, Natural Selection onto the apron retains the title at 13:01.

Rating: B-. Bayley was fighting here but came up short, which is exactly how her character needs to go. For some reason WWE didn’t quite get this and instead put the title on her two weeks later in a nothing Raw match, ignoring the idea of building her up as an underdog. Charlotte was her usual awesome self here and that makes for a fun match, though the future didn’t go the way it should have. At least the first match was solid though.

The shark cage is lowered. This might require an explanation.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Roman Reigns had come close to taking the title from Kevin Owens but Chris Jericho interfered to cost Reigns the match. Therefore it’s time for a rematch with Jericho in a one man cage (the shark cage) above the ring. Jericho is of course scared of heights so this should be fun. It would be a better idea if they hadn’t done it in NXT not too long before this.

Raw World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is defending and this is No DQ. Jericho takes his sweet time getting into the cage (as he should) and is still not in even when Reigns comes out. The Canadians try some double teaming and knock Reigns into the cage all, only to have Reigns fight them off (and the fans are really, REALLY not pleased) and send Jericho into the cage to get us going. The cage is raised like a sexy pinata (Jericho’s very accurate term for himself) and Owens jumps Reigns from behind.

They waste no time in fighting out to the floor and then into the crowd with Reigns hitting him in the ribs with a metal stand. Back to ringside with Owens being bounced off the German announcers’ table but coming back with a whip into the steps. Owens pulls six chairs from underneath the ring and sets up four at ringside, two by two. A monitor shot to the ribs sets up the Cannonball against the barricade and Owens continues to be over like free beer in a frat house.

With Reigns down, Owens sets up two more chairs on top of the four he already had. One more is placed on top but of course the powerbomb and suplex attempts don’t work to prevent a broken back. Back in and Reigns sends him shoulder first into the post before loading up a table. That’s enough to make the fans cheer Reigns (I’m as shocked as you are) but a Backstabber gives Owens two.

Another Cannonball, with Owens mocking Reigns’ spear pose, is countered into a powerbomb. The apron dropkick rocks the champ again as this has been better than I was expecting so far. They’re beating each other up quite well and it’s pretty entertaining, despite Jericho being a non-factor so far. They head outside with Reigns getting superkicked onto a table, setting up a frog splash from the top to the floor in a big crash.

That’s only good for two (well duh) so Owens dedicates a chair shot to Jericho and gets another near fall. A chair is wedged into the corner because wrestlers never learn a thing. Owens scores with a superkick and manages to send Reigns into the chair as I’m not sure what to think. It’s not like that’s never worked before but it’s about as rare as Jericho eating crab cakes and goat’s milk.

With that not working, Jericho tosses Owens some brass knuckles but Reigns blocks the Superman Punch. Roman’s Superman Punch gets two and a Samoan drop through the chair is good for the same. You would think being driven THROUGH A CHAIR would be a big time match but since this is modern wrestling, something that big is now just a regular move. It’s the price you pay for all the big spots and violence.

Roman puts another table in the corner before another Superman Punch gets two. A spear is countered into a Stunner of all things but Reigns kicks out again. We continue the Austin homage with a mudhole stomping and a Cannonball (not so much Austin) as Owens is getting frustrated. That makes him do something dumb, like trying a superplex through that pile of chairs.

Reigns breaks that up and Superman Punches Owens through the pile instead for a very loud crash. A powerbomb puts Reigns through the announcers’ table but here’s Braun Strowman to beat the heck out of Reigns. Roman is sent into the post, followed by the running powerslam through the table in the corner to retain Owens’ title at 23:27.

Rating: B+. This was better than I was expecting and while it feels like a similar ending to Randy Orton vs. John Cena from Royal Rumble 2015, it’s still a good way to keep the title on Owens for the time being. They had a very good power brawl and Owens retaining is the right move, especially with the feud with Strowman getting a big boost. Jericho was barely a factor and that’s a good thing given that they were about to split in the near future.

To really fill in time, we’re doing a countdown of the thirty greatest moments in Rumble history, starting with 30-16 (or 30-15 as Cole puts it). Well kind of as the list is actually 30 facts, which is kind of Rumble By The Numbers.

30. Bret Hart was the first entrant

29. 870 people have entered

28. 3 women have entered and each has eliminated at least one man

27. 23 people have won, meaning 98% of the entrants are losers

26. 4 Rumbles have been in Texas

25. California and Florida have held 5 Rumbles each

24. 507,102 fans have seen the Rumble

23. Rey Mysterio lasted longer than anyone ever at 1:02:12

22. Edge won the Rumble in 7:37

21. Santino Marella was eliminated in 1 second

20. The longest time in a single Rumble without winning is Bob Backlund with 1:01:10

19. HHH has spent the most time in the Rumble with 4:06:08.

18. 46 Hall of Famers have competed

17. 9 Hall of Famers have won

16. Mick Foley entered the Rumble 3 times in 1998

Raw boss Stephanie McMahon mocks Raw underling Mick for Strowman interfering when Smackdown bosses Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan come in. They roll the tumbler so Sami Zayn can come in and pick his number, which of course takes some time. Before Sami can open his ball, Dean Ambrose comes in searching for churros. He gets a number but is off to take a nap until he’s due in the Rumble. After going to a crowd shot of watching this in the arena (erg), Sami gets #8.

Austin Aries joins commentary for the Cruiserweight Title match.

We recap Rich Swann vs. Neville. Swann is the Cruiserweight Champion but Neville has declared himself the King of the Cruiserweights. That’s completely accurate and it’s time for Swann to take a heck of a beating and give up a title that doesn’t belong to him. This is about as obvious of an ending as you’re going to get. They throw in some history between the two with Neville mentoring Swann both in Japan and here in America. That’s better than nothing and more than I would expect from a match like this, even if Neville winning is pretty much guaranteed.

Cruiserweight Title: Neville vs. Rich Swann

Neville is challenging and stops himself from doing his usual entrance because the fans don’t deserve it. That’s a nice touch and makes him feel different instead of the same guy who just happens to be a villain now. Feeling out process to start until Swann flips over Neville and misses a dropkick.

Neville gets sent outside for a dive but is fine enough to drive Swann right into the corner. A missile dropkick sets up a jackknife cover for two and Neville stands on Swann’s head. Neville wants to know if this is it and gets crucifixed for two. Back up and Neville forearms the heck out of Swann for two more and we’re off to the chinlock. The comeback is enough to have Neville take him outside for some whips into the barricade.

Back in and Neville comes up the top, diving straight into a superkick to the jaw. That one looked awesome and both guys are down. Another kick to the jaw and a super hurricanrana sets up a Phoenix flip dive to the floor to put Neville in trouble. They head back inside with Swann hammering away before getting two off something like a Warrior splash.

Neville isn’t down enough that he can’t crotch Swann on top. He also can’t hit the superplex but settles for a hard superkick to stagger the champ. Rich’s spinning kick to the head gets two as Neville gets his foot on the ropes. Swann again takes too long to get up top, allowing Neville to superplex him into the Rings of Saturn for the tap to make Neville champion at 13:29.

Rating: B-. They were beating the heck out of each other in a better than average match. Instead of having Neville squash him in relatively short order, Swann got in some offense, only to eventually not be good enough to overcome the King of the Cruiserweights. This was entertaining, but Neville is going to need some better challengers.

We recap AJ Styles vs. John Cena. Styles defeated Cena twice in a row last year, including with one clean pinfall. Then Cena said he wanted to challenge the champion at the Rumble and since he’s John Cena and one title shy of tying Ric Flair’s record, the match was made.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging and has the black shorts on here so you know it’s a big night. AJ scores with a kick to the leg so Cena clotheslines him to the apron. Cena gets in a few right hands but charges into a boot in the corner to let AJ take over. Back to back knee drops have Cena in trouble but AJ stops to yell at the crowd. A third knee, this time with a You Can’t See Me, misses and Cena is right back with a backdrop.

AJ sticks the landing on an AA though and there’s an enziguri to put Cena down again. There’s a hurricanrana and Cena doesn’t seem to know what to do with Styles. The running seated forearm gives AJ two more but Cena punches him in the face. The Shuffle is broken up though and AJ grabs a wheelbarrow facebuster to put Cena down again. AJ hits the Phenomenal Blitz, only to have Cena hit that hard running clothesline for a breather that he uses when he needs a breather.

Now the Shuffle connects but it’s way too early for the AA. AJ grabs a torture rack into a spinning powerbomb for two more and we get a bit of a pause. They’re doing a good job here of going with the slower pace to build things up here, which is exactly what they should be doing.

The Phenomenal Forearm misses and it’s an AA for two. Another hard running clothesline gives Cena two more but he charges into a Pele to the shoulder. Now the Forearm connects for two more as they’re even in the near falls off the finishers. AJ starts firing off the hard kicks to the chest and Cena doesn’t seem like he’s breathing very well. One too many kicks earns him an electric chair into a faceplant though and Cena is right back into it.

They slug it out with JBL describing AJ as blocking every punch with his face. Apparently that’s fine enough to reverse a right hand into the Calf Crusher but of course Cena reverses into the STF to a nice round of applause. At least they respect some wrestling abilities. Somehow AJ reverses that into an STF of his own but Cena powers to his feet. Instead of an AA though, it’s off to a Figure Four on the champ (because we must praise Flair, though it’s appropriate here).

AJ pulls himself up though and tries a cross armbreaker, which of course is countered into a powerbomb for two. Cena goes up top for the Fameasser but gets powerbombed out of the air. Now the Styles Clash is good for two as the fans are feeling the near falls (as they should with the match picking WAY up in a hurry). Code Red gives Cena two more, followed by AJ’s fireman’s carry backbreaker for the same.

Something like a swinging Big Ending (called a cutter by Mauro) gives Cena two more so it’s time for the big guns. Cena busts out the super AA…….for two. You can see the look of disbelief on Cena’s face and now the fans aren’t sure what to think. The Styles Clash gives AJ his own near fall but Cena counters the Phenomenal Forearm into back to back AA’s for the pin and the title at 24:01.

Rating: A. This took its time to build up and it’s one of the best matches of 2017. Cena using raw power to start but eventually learning what AJ was going to throw at him and adapting made for a great story. He couldn’t win with the mega power move either, eventually having to counter AJ to beat him. That builds on their previous matches and it’s a classic match as a result.

Cena celebrates. JBL: “Man that was good!” Yeah pretty much. Cena heads into the crowd and hands the title to a Make-A-Wish kid because he’s that awesome.

We look at Seth Rollins invading Takeover: San Antonio to call out HHH, who cost him his spot in the Rumble. HHH said Rollins needs to be careful what he wished for. Worry not though as STEPHANIE will be on Raw tomorrow night to deal with Rollins. I’d be terrified too.

Jerry Lawler comes out for commentary on the Rumble.

Back to the Rumble by the Numbers.

15. Only 16 of the 30 possible numbers have won

14. 7 winners are from 1-10

13. 4 have been from 11-20

12. 19 have been from 21-40

11. 27 is the lucky number

10. 1 and 2 have produced 4 winners

9. 1 and 2 have been the final two entrants twice (1995 and 1999)

8. Only one person has won from the same number twice (Batista at #28)

7. Kane has entered the most Royal Rumbles

6. Kane has the most career eliminations

5. Roman Reigns has the most eliminations in one match

4. The World Title has been on the line twice

3. Three men have been runner up twice (Cena, Big Show, HHH)

2. Five men have won twice (Cena, HHH, Hogan, Shawn Michaels, Batista)

1. Only Steve Austin has won three Rumbles

Royal Rumble

Two minutes intervals and it’s Big Cass in at #1, meaning Enzo Amore gets to do the full entrance. We’re just that lucky I guess but the fans are still eating it up at this point. Since everything is bigger in Texas, it would make sense for Big Cass to win here tonight. We hear about some of the bigger names but Cass is going to toss all of them out because Cass is like HBK in 1995. Chris Jericho is in at #2 as his bad luck in the Rumble draws continue (this is his third time as #2).

Cass tosses him down with a fall away slam but an early Empire Elbow misses. The Walls are broken up and it’s Kalisto in at #3 after only ninety seconds. A springboard dropkick staggers Cass and a regular one drops Jericho. Cass can’t powerslam Kalisto and it’s some kicks to cut Cass down again. Mojo Rawley is in at #4 as we’re not even three minutes and fifteen seconds in yet. Corey: “Smackdown Live’s resident blithering idiot.” Lawler: “That’s an insult to blithering idiots”.

Cass takes Rawley into the corner while the other two are down on the apron. Jericho breaks four hours in the Rumble to give him the all time record as Jack Gallagher is in at #5. The length of the aisle really becomes an issue here as Jack takes forever to get to the ring. Once there though he cleans house with the umbrella, including a low blow to a posing Jericho. One heck of a toss sends Kalisto to the mat and it’s Mark Henry in at #6.

Everyone is down when his music hits but Gallagher has enough time to get up and stomp on Jericho by the time he gets there. Gallagher’s headbutt just annoys Mark so he tosses Jack through the ropes (not an elimination). Jack does his Mary Poppins dive with the umbrella and is promptly eliminated. Braun Strowman is in at #7, taking twenty five seconds from the start of his music to get to the ring. Jericho hides on the floor (Jericho: “HE’S HUGE!”) as Strowman gets rid of Mojo, Cass, Kalisto and Henry, the latter after a battle of the giants.

Sami Zayn is in at #8 and is stupid enough to charge into the ring and slug away as fast as he can. Sami stops a charge with a boot but tries a suplex for some reason. Strowman misses a charge into the post but comes right back with a running splash in the corner as Big Show is #9 (to a VERY strong reaction, oddly enough).

We get the big, long walk to the ring where Sami is down in the corner and Jericho is still on the floor. Strowman clotheslines Show down without much effort but a chokeslam cuts him down. Jericho picks now to come back in and is promptly punched down, leaving the giants to lift each other up for failed slam attempts. Strowman manages to muscle Show out though and is the only one standing. The debuting Tye Dillinger is #10 (in the perfect (ten) entrance), giving us Jericho, Strowman, Zayn and Dillinger. Tye goes straight at Strowman with forearms and left hands as Sami gets up to help him slug away at the giant.

They get suplexed down without much effort though and it’s James Ellsworth in at #11. He and Carmella run to the ring (in a relationship that was never explained) but don’t get in, allowing Tye and Sami to pull Strowman to the apron. Dean Ambrose is in at #12 and tricks Ellsworth into charging in on his own where Strowman eliminates him in all of ten seconds. That’s better than I was expecting. Dean gets in but can’t do much with Strowman (well duh) but Tye and Sami get back up to help Dean out. That earns them all running clotheslines in the corner and it’s Baron Corbin in at #13.

That means four on one on Strowman, who shrugs them all away. Strowman dumps Tye but Sami grabs him by the beard for a breather. A Helluva Kick rocks Strowman and Corbin gets rid of the monster after a star making performance. Dean hits a quick Dirty Deeds on Corbin but doesn’t try to eliminate him. Dean never was the smartest guy in the world.

Kofi Kingston is in at #14 and the countdown is on to the cool save. Kofi gets knocked into the ropes and Corbin does his slide underneath the ropes into a clothesline on Dean. The Miz is in at #15 (thankfully with Maryse), giving us Jericho (STILL on the floor), Sami, Ambrose, Corbin and Miz at the moment.

A Skull Crushing Finale drops Dean but Miz doesn’t go for the elimination. Deep Six cuts Miz off as the crowd oddly dies for a bit. For no logical reason, Kofi climbs to the top of the post but gets knocked down onto his chest. He still manages to hang on though and scores with Trouble in Paradise on Corbin. Sheamus is in at #16 and it’s time for some powerslams. Miz backs away from Sheamus but gets caught in the ten forearms to the chest. Jericho gets back up and is promptly Brogue Kicked down.

Big E. is in at #17 and it’s a quick abdominal stretch on Miz, allowing for some spanking. If that’s what he’s into I guess. The ring is getting too full and Rusev (with a broken nose) makes it even worse at #18. Right hands have Dean in trouble but no one is seriously close to being eliminated.

Sheamus gets in a hard knee on Miz and it’s Cesaro in at #19. It’s an early Swing to Miz and a second to Sami. Jerry: “Use him as a weapon!” Ambrose and Kofi are swung as well, followed by Big E. and Corbin but Rusev saves Sheamus from the same fate for some reason. You might notice a lot of names being swung and that’s because there are WAY too many people in the ring.

Xavier Woods is in at #20, giving us Jericho, Zayn, Ambrose, Corbin, Kingston, Miz, Sheamus, Big E. Rusev, Cesaro and Woods. We’re two thirds of the way into the match and over half of the people are still in. New Day beats Sheamus up and Woods has to save Kofi from an elimination at Miz’s hands. A pair of boots rock Miz but he’s not going anywhere yet. Bray Wyatt, with the lights going out, is in at #21 and the Fireflies coming out during the match is a cool visual.

Miz gets the release Rock Bottom and house is cleaned until Woods stares Wyatt down in a call back to Woods being terrified of Bray. Woods is sent to the apron and Kofi is put there next to him. Big E. saves his buddies from Cesaro and Sheamus as Apollo Crews is in at #22. Crews’ standing moonsault hits Miz as this is looking like a regular battle royal rather than the Rumble. Big E. pulls Woods and Kofi back inside but Sheamus and Cesaro get rid of all three of them at once to let the ring breathe a bit. Sheamus tries to dump Cesaro but Jericho runs in to get rid of both of them. Well the ring is certainly emptier in a hurry.

Randy Orton (of the Wyatt Family because reasons) is in at #23 with a quick RKO to Corbin and Rusev. Sami goes up top for some reason and dives right into another RKO. Dolph Ziggler is in at #24 and superkicks abound. The fans are begging for Goldberg to come in and get rid of some of these people but have to settle for Luke Harper at #25. We have five spots left and Goldberg, Undertaker and Brock Lesnar still to go. Harper gets rid of Crews but stops for a staredown with Orton. Wyatt has to play peacekeeper until Harper clotheslines Bray down. Orton breaks up Sister Abigail on Bray with an RKO as the ring is too full again.

Brock Lesnar is in at #26 and now we can get rid of some people. Ziggler and Ambrose are tossed with ease and it’s Suplex/F5 City. Everyone is down and the fans want Goldberg at #27. Instead it’s Enzo Amore in at #27 and I’ll let you figure out what happens. Graves: “THIS MAY BE THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!!!” Brock throws some suplexes until Goldberg is in at #28 for the big showdown. A spear and a clothesline get rid of Lesnar in all of fifteen seconds, stunning both the crowd and commentary at once. Sami eats a Jackhammer and Orton/Wyatt take a double spear.

Goldberg is the only man standing and it’s Undertaker in at #29 to a ROAR. Thankfully he appears in the ring instead of doing the ridiculously long walk down the ramp. Cole: “THIS IS A MOMENT!” Well those are what matter more than anything else. Corbin and Rusev break up the showdown and are promptly eliminated. A spear takes Undertaker down but Goldberg turns his attention to eliminate Harper, allowing Undertaker to dump him. Undertaker chokeslams a few people and it’s Roman Reigns at #30 (imagine the booing) to give us Jericho, Sami, Miz, Wyatt, Orton, Undertaker and Reigns.

That means another staredown and Reigns wins the slugout. The fans are LIVID and call this BS until Undertaker stops the Superman Punch with a chokeslam. Undertaker dumps Miz and Zayn like they’re nothing but takes too long calling for a Tombstone, allowing Reigns to dump him. That earns Reigns a glare to set up the Wrestlemania main event.

Jericho is dead so Reigns tosses him without much effort, giving Jericho the most meaningless hour run in Rumble history. Reigns is left alone with Orton and Wyatt with the double teaming starting in short order. The hanging DDT plants Reigns but Superman Punches get Roman out of trouble. Wyatt is eliminated but it’s an RKO and a clothesline to send Orton to Wrestlemania at 1:02:08.

Rating: D. And that’s being pretty generous. There are tons of problems here, but we’ll start with all the midcarders who were around forever and did nothing. Here are some of the people who weren’t going to win but were in the match for at least twenty minutes each:

Sami Zayn (47:12)

Dean Ambrose (26:55)

Baron Corbin (32:39)

Miz (32:44)

Rusev (22:31)

Those five names combined for one elimination. That’s a crazy amount of time to basically do nothing. If they’re not going to be factors (and none of them were as they were almost all glorified cannon fodder), don’t leave them out there go clog up the ring. It doesn’t do Sami any good to be out there for forty five minutes and do nothing, just like it doesn’t help Miz to be there for half an hour so people can beat on him. Jericho was a potential winner and stayed in there over an hour (spending a lot of it on the floor) but what good is an hour stay if he’s tossed out like he’s nothing after a mere two eliminations?

That brings us to the second problem: the three big names. This match was built around Goldberg, Brock Lesnar and Undertaker (the three of them and Cena are dead center on the post) and they combined to get rid of TEN people (over a third of the eliminations) despite being in the match for less time combined than any of the five names mentioned above. None of them made the final four but they cleared the way for the grouping. That’s some really bad planning and a lack of drama, especially when it makes everyone left look life afterthoughts. Let one of them be there as a dragon for the winner to slay at the very least.

Throw in a lack of meaningful surprises (Reigns was the only name of value not announced in advance) and no nostalgia to be seen (but we needed Apollo Crews and Dolph Ziggler to combine for ten minutes in the ring and not get rid of anyone) and there was very little to care about for the biggest part of the Rumble. Strowman stuff was fun, but after him there was a FIFTEEN MINUTE stretch with no eliminations. This was a terribly planned out Rumble and managed to turn one of the most entertaining matches of the year into something incredibly boring.

Overall Rating: C+. It says a lot when the Royal Rumble is the only bad thing on the show. Other than that, the worst match is…..I guess the women’s match? This show was rather awesome but the Rumble itself was such a mess that it brings the rest of the show way down. This was a good show that cold have been great and I have no idea how they thought that was the right idea with the Rumble. That should usually be the most important thing on the show but it felt like something they threw together here, which really misses the point. Fix the Rumble and it’s a classic. As it is, it’s just good.

Ratings Comparison

Naomi/Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James/Natalya

Original: C

Redo: C-

Sheamus and Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Bayley vs. Charlotte Flair

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns

Original: B

Redo: B+

Rich Swann vs. Neville

Original: C+

Redo: B-

John Cena vs. AJ Styles

Original: A-

Redo: A

Royal Rumble

Original: C+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: C+

That Rumble rating is ridiculous. Most of the rest of the matches are in the same ballpark though and that’s a good thing.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/29/royal-rumble-2017-i-can-go-with-that/

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