Smackdown – September 20, 2016: Crush My Crackers This Was Fantastic

Smackdown
Date: September 20, 2016
Location: Legacy Arena, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga. Mauro Ranallo

It’s a big night here on Smackdown as we have Miz defending the Intercontinental Title against Dolph Ziggler in a rematch from Backlash as well as a major showdown between Dean Ambrose and John Cena after Ambrose laid Cena out to end last week’s show. We’re only a few weeks away from No Mercy so things should start to pick up steam. Let’s get to it.

We open with a preview of Ambrose vs. Cena later tonight.

Daniel Bryan is in the ring for a contract signing for the Women’s Title match at No Mercy. Becky Lynch comes out first and agrees to keep this civil. Alexa Bliss comes out and suggests Becky use moisturizer. Becky says she’s here for a fight instead of a pageant. They go back and forth about how Becky doesn’t belong here but she worked as hard as she could at jobs she hated to get to this point. She wasn’t born to be a champion but Alexa knows she was.

At No Mercy, Alexa is going to prove Becky is a one hit wonder. Bliss hits her with the contract and turns the table over. Alexa goes to leave but Becky chases her to the back. Really simple segment here but I liked it. Bliss has a very natural feel on the mic and that’s going to do her a lot of favors. Becky is playing her character perfectly too and while the match might not be great, the build is working and these two have chemistry talking.

Miz comes up to Bryan in the back to complain about his title defense tonight. That’s fine with Bryan, who says we’ll cancel the match and cancel Miz’s contract as well. Miz backs down and leaves.

Usos vs. American Alpha

The winners get the title shot at No Mercy and Chad Gable’s knee is mostly fine coming in. It’s a brawl to start with Gable taking Jimmy down. Rhyno and Heath Slater are watching in the back and naturally Rhyno is enjoying some cheese and crackers. Alpha cleans house early on with their dropkicks but Gable is sent to the floor and comes up holding his knee.

Back from a break with the twins working over Gable’s knee. Chad elbows his way out of the corner and the hot tag brings in Jordan for the suplexes and shoulders to the ribs in the corner. Jey breaks up the superplex though and the Superfly splash gets two with Chad making the save. They got me on that one. Another toss to the floor makes Gable’s knee even worse and Jordan refuses to tag in his hurt friend. Chad tries to come in anyway and gets chop blocked, setting up a double superkick. Jey’s Superfly splash puts Jason away at 11:34.

Rating: C+. The booking of American Alpha is really interesting as they came in so hot that there’s no reason to believe any team can hang with them. WWE had to come up with something to slow them down so other teams could hang with them and this knee injury was as good as they were going to come up with. In theory this sets up the Usos winning the belts to set up the big showdown against Alpha down the line.

Slater and Rhyno ware watching in the back and Heath has an idea: “When I say Rhy, you say no.” Rhyno: “No.” The Usos come in and say they’ll win at No Mercy. They even threaten to knock Rhyno’s crackers out of his hand. That makes things serious but Jey threatens to send Slater’s kids back to the mudhole. Rhyno CRUSHES HIS CRACKERS and it’s a staredown.

Baron Corbin vs. Apollo Crews

Jack Swagger is on commentary. Crews hits him in the face to start and gets two off a fall away slam. A jumping enziguri knocks Corbin around even worse but he sends Crews ribs first into the post. Corbin drives the ribs into the post again and the End of Days wraps Crews up at 2:48. I’d love to hear the explanation for why Crews isn’t getting ready for a big showdown against Shinsuke Nakamura for the NXT Title instead of being a jobber on Smackdown.

Corbin and Swagger have a staredown.

Curt Hawkins Face the Facts vignette.

Naomi and Nikki Bella are ready to keep the momentum going with the power of the glow. Natalya’s glow went out a long time ago and Carmella has had it out for Nikki for a long time now because she wants to make a name for herself. See, they’re friends now because the script says they should be.

Ziggler says anything could happen here tonight and doesn’t think much of Miz. There are a lot of things he shouldn’t be but tonight he’s going to become Intercontinental Champion.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Miz is defending and we even get Big Match Intros. Ziggler takes it to the mat to start and Miz is in WAY over his head with the technical stuff. A clothesline on the floor takes Miz down again but he dropkicks Ziggler off the apron to take over. Back in and Miz does the YES Kicks but continues the tradition of missing the big one. Ziggler goes shoulder first into the post and gets kicked in the face for two.

A Stinger Splash has Miz in trouble but he misses another charge into the post. That means it’s time for a running dropkick in the corner, again ala Bryan. The champ goes up top for the ax handle but dives into a dropkick. Ziggler’s running DDT gets two and a Cactus Clothesline takes us to a break.

Back with Miz countering a superplex into a slingshot sitout powerbomb. Ziggler’s sleeper sends Miz over to the ropes and the superkick gets two. Maryse loads up the hairspray but gets caught this time, meaning an ejection. Rollups are exchanged for two each and the Zig Zag gives Ziggler a VERY close two. Miz tries to leave with the title so Ziggler sends him into the steps, only to get sprayed in the face. A Skull Crushing Finale retains Miz’s title at 16:01.

Rating: B+. They had me worried more than once there but thank goodness Miz retains the title here and Ziggler loses again. I’m sure we’re going to get a third match between them at No Mercy and hopefully they still don’t change the title. As has been the case for weeks now I’m still not sure what they’re setting up with Bryan. At this point they almost have to deliver the big return match but most sources say there’s no way that’s happening. We’re either in for a major surprise or a debut of some kind and either one would be interesting.

Erick Rowan vs. Randy Orton

Rowan doesn’t even get an entrance so he starts fast with a reverse powerslam and a dropkick of all things. A trip to the floor makes things even worse for Randy but he gets in the Elevated DDT and the RKO for the quick pin at 2:23.

Post match the lights go out and Rowan disappears with the sheep mask taking his place. Bray pops up on screen and says that unlike Orton, he can never die.

Nikki Bella/Naomi vs. Carmella/Natalya

Natalya forearms Naomi at the bell and has Nikki in the Sharpshooter less than thirty seconds after the bell. For some reason Carmella pulls Nikki to the floor for a beatdown and that’s a DQ at 36 seconds.

Naomi kicks Natalya in the head post match.

AJ Styles says he doesn’t have a rivalry with Dean Ambrose or John Cena because he’s better than both of them. Tonight he’s going to enjoy watching them fight because the champ will always be here.

John Cena vs. Dean Ambrose

As usual, the fans are split on Cena. Feeling out process to start with Cena working on a headlock and then into a top wristlock. Ambrose turns it up by sending Cena into the post and we take a break. Back with Dean chopping and punching away until Cena pulls him down into the STF. Dean makes the ropes and gets in another shot to the head, only to have Cena roll through a high crossbody into the AA for two. Dirty Deeds gets the same and I probably should have penciled that in as soon as the AA hit. Back up and a second AA is countered into a sunset flip to give Dean the completely clean pin at 10:14.

Rating: B-. I upgraded this one for the clean ending alone. Cena losing clean is something that you almost never see and this win feels bigger than when Dean won the title in the first place. It’s not like this hurts Cena in the slightest but it gives Dean a huge rub and makes him feel like a factor instead of just a third man in the match to take the fall at No Mercy.

Post match AJ hits the Phenomenal Forearm on Cena but here’s Bryan to interrupt. As Shane McMahon promised, Dean is getting a one on one title rematch and that’s going to happen next Tuesday on Smackdown. Dean hits Dirty Deeds on AJ to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This show was fantastic and there’s not much else that needs to be said about it. The wrestling was good, the angles were hot and the stories were advanced. Above all else, Bryan was only there when he was needed instead of running around every five minutes and interjecting himself where he wasn’t needed. I had a blast watching this show and thought it was more fun than anything WWE has done in a very long time. Great stuff here and by far the best episode of either show since the Brand Split and a long time before that.

Results

Usos b. American Alpha – Superfly splash to Jordan

Baron Corbin b. Apollo Crews – End of Days

The Miz b. Dolph Ziggler – Skull Crushing Finale

Randy Orton b. Erick Rowan – RKO

Nikki Bella/Naomi b. Carmella/Natalya via DQ when Carmella attacked Nikki on the floor

Dean Ambrose b. John Cena – Sunset flip

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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New Column: Classic Cruiserweights

Looking at what the new cruiserweight division should and shouldn’t do while actually looking to WCW and TNA for guidance.

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-classic-cruiserweights/




Smackdown – September 13, 2016: Plugging The Holes

Smackdown
Date: September 13, 2016
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga

Backlash has come and gone and a few things have changed. In addition to having inaugural Smackdown Tag Team Champions (Heath Slater/Rhyno) and an inaugural Smackdown Women’s Champion (Becky Lynch), AJ Styles has finally won the big one and become Smackdown World Champion. No Mercy is in less than a month and tonight we start dealing with all these new developments. Let’s get to it.

We open with a Backlash recap, thankfully kept down to about two minutes.

Opening sequence.

Here’s AJ, who is now introduced as the face that runs this place. He’s done everything he told us he would do and now he’s the WWE World Champion (the belt is a very nice fit too). Now he’s the champ that runs the camp but here’s John Cena to interrupt. Cena looks a bit stunned before saying AJ has something that he would like back. The 16 time champ is here but Dean Ambrose cuts him off.

Dean wants his title back but Cena cuts him off as well, saying that Dean didn’t take AJ seriously enough. Maybe Steve Austin was right to call him out on the podcast. Ambrose doesn’t take kindly to that and calls Cena a lazy part timer. Cena would be better off hosting award shows because he’s not able to keep up with the new generation.

This brings out Shane McMahon to praise all of their work before talking about AJ taking a shortcut to become WWE Champion. Therefore, AJ will be defending against Cena and Ambrose in a triple dance at No Mercy. As for tonight though, it’s Cena/Ambrose vs. AJ/a partner of his choosing. If AJ can’t find one, Daniel Bryan will pick one for him.

Connor’s Cure video.

Usos vs. Hype Bros

No entrances here and the twins start in on Ryder’s bad leg. A kick to Jimmy’s back allows the tag off to Rawley for the house cleaning but Jey gets in a superkick. The Superfly splash ends Mojo at 2:22.

Curt Hawkins talks about wolf cubs.

Here are Miz and Maryse for a chat. Miz has held the title for 162 days, which is longer than 132 other former champions, including Dolph Ziggler. This brings out Ziggler to say Miz will never be seen as a top guy. Yeah he’d never main event Wrestlemania or anything like that. Apparently Miz has never earned any respect so all he has to do is beat Ziggler one time with nothing but the two of them. This brings out Daniel Bryan (JBL: “The General Manager of Raw!”) to say Ziggler gets a rematch. Miz says no because he wants his contract renegotiated. Bryan gets in the ring and Miz bails into the crowd.

To recap: since Ziggler challenged Dean Ambrose for the title, the goal has gone from defending the World Title to winning the big one (the Intercontinental Title in this case) to now earning respect by being viewed as a main eventer, which apparently doesn’t include a successful title defense in the main event of Wrestlemania. Now the way to earn respect is to pin Dolph Ziggler, meaning almost the whole roster is respected.

Baron Corbin isn’t interested in being AJ’s partner because he’d rather be his opponent.

Apollo Crews vs. Baron Corbin

Rematch from Backlash’s pre-show. Corbin jumps Crews during the entrances and hits the End of Days on the floor. No match but Jack Swagger of all people comes out, seemingly having jumped to Smackdown.

Swagger: “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN IT’S THE ROLLING STONES!” You’ve seen him wrestle for a long time but you don’t know Jack. We, as in we the people, are going to be a big problem.

Here’s Becky Lynch for her first appearance as the Smackdown Women’s Champion. That means the required YOU DESERVE IT before Becky can talk about being the only one that survived on Sunday. The journey was worth it so come at her bros.

Naomi vs. Nikki Bella vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Carmella vs. Natalya

Again I’d like to point out that it’s a really bad sign that every possible challenger can be put into one match. One fall to a finish with the winner getting a title shot at some point in the future. It’s a big brawl to start of course with Natalya taking over off a series of suplexes. Nikki takes her down with a facebuster but Carmella makes the save. That means the big showdown but Carmella bails outside again.

Instead it’s Naomi kicking Nikki in the face but getting caught in an electric chair drop. Alexa and Natalya come back in and go to the corner, allowing Naomi to hit a running enziguri. The Bella Buster and Rear View get two each but Alexa kicks Nikki off the top. Carmella comes back in with a superkick but Bliss steals the pin on Nikki at 5:13.

Rating: D+. So Bliss is the most successful of Sunday’s losers. This division is starting to act like the X-Division with the wild matches and only a limited amount of character development for most of the women. Bliss is a good choice for the first challenger as she can wrestle a passable enough match to make Becky look good before her more serious opponent.

Kane laughs at AJ for suggesting a partnership.

Here’s Shane to introduce Heath Slater (and Rhyno) for the official contract signing. Slater signs before anything else can happen and praises Rhyno for being a great partner. They’ll fight anyone anywhere and it’s time to thank his kids. However, here’s the Ascension to interrupt and ask for a title shot right now. Slater says not right now because there’s a table, a red carpet and no referee. Shane thinks we can ix that so let’s defend the belts right now.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Heath Slater/Rhyno vs. Ascension

Ascension is challenging and this is joined in progress with Slater in trouble. Something off the top is horribly botched with Viktor dropping Slater as Konnor lands on him. The hot tag brings in Rhyno for a spinebuster before Slater is dumped to the floor. Rhyno Gores Viktor to retain at 2:04.

AJ says he doesn’t need a partner but Daniel has appointed one for him: one of the jobbers AJ insulted on Sunday.

Randy Orton comes out to address Bray Wyatt, but not before some extra posing. Orton has finally figured out that Bray calls himself the face of fear because he’s afraid. Right now Orton is ready for a fight so Bray can come out here and face his fear. Instead Bray comes up on screen to warn Randy not to sleep. The lights go out again and Bray is on the floor behind Randy, who is actually smart enough to turn around before Bray can do anything. Bray takes off the gear but the lights go out again, allowing Erick Rowan (Didn’t they split?) to come in and jump Orton…..who scores with a quick RKO to take care of that loser.

John Cena/Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles/James Ellsworth

Actually hang on a second as Miz jumps Ellsworth and hammers away. We have a replacement. I fully support the idea of Miz moving back to the main event.

John Cena/Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles/The Miz

Joined in progress again with Miz kicking Cena in the face before it’s off to Dean for some clotheslines on AJ. A quick Pele takes Dean down and we go to another break. Back with Miz ax handling Dean so it can be back to AJ. We hit a chinlock on Ambrose for a bit before he shoves AJ away and makes the hot tag off to Cena. Everything breaks down and Dean sends AJ to the floor, leaving Cena to AA Miz for the pin at 9:50.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag but it did move us all the way up to 19:27 of total wrestling tonight, assuming you count the three and a half minutes spent in the commercial. I could have gone without Miz getting pinned but hopefully it means he moves up to the main event for the first time in way too long. I know he’s not the most popular guy but he has the credentials and the character to make it work.

Post match Dean gives Cena Dirty Deeds and actually gets booed. I’m not sure if that was a heel turn or not but it felt pretty close.

Overall Rating: B-. They moved a lot of stuff forward tonight and very little of it had to do with the wrestling. We get a new name in Swagger (which was very badly needed), a new main event feud with Cena vs. Ambrose and Miz also moving up to the main event scene, though likely dropping the Intercontinental Title to Ziggler at No Mercy. It really is amazing how much faster this show feels than Raw (which shows you how much that third hour kills Raw) and that’s such a help. I’m having fun watching Smackdown and I haven’t had that feeling on a Monday in a long time. Good show tonight that helped solve some problems.

Results

Usos b. Hype Bros – Superfly splash to Rawley

Alexa Bliss b. Nikki Bella, Natalya, Carmella and Naomi – Superkick to Bella

Heath Slater/Rhyno b. Ascension – Gore to Viktor

John Cena/Dean Ambrose b. The Miz/AJ Styles – AA to the Miz

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Backlash 2016: As Good As It’s Going To Get

Backlash 2016
Date: September 11, 2016
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga

It’s the first single branded pay per view and I’m really not sure what they’re going to do to fill in the whole show. There are currently six scheduled matches but word on the street is that one of them might not be taking place as advertised due to an injury. They could always add some stuff in but at the moment, this isn’t looking like a three hour show. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Apollo Crews vs. Baron Corbin

This was made on the pre-show when Corbin interrupted Crews’ chat with Daniel Bryan. They lock up to start with Corbin shoving him away, only to have Crews come back with a dropkick. A right hand stops a springboard and knocks Crews to the floor (signature spot) as we take a break. Back with Crews hitting an enziguri from the apron and avoiding a charge but Corbin slides under the ropes and back inside for a clothesline to the back of the head.

Corbin talks a little trash and takes Apollo’s head off with another clothesline. A running knee (because of course) puts Corbin down and the second jumping enziguri gets two. An Angle Slam of all things gets two more on Baron but he hits the Deep Six for the same. They actually head outside with Corbin going into the steps for a seven count. Back in and Crews charges into a knee (it’s always the knee) to set up End of Days for the pin at 9:56.

Rating: C+. This was actually a lot better than I was expecting with some ice chemistry from the pair. Corbin winning is fine as he needs something to do but Crews needs to start winning people people stop caring about him. Above all else though: the pre-show had ONE match that ran about ten minutes and now we’re almost ready to go with the regular show. Yes I said ONE MATCH instead of three with half an hour between each one. I really don’t think people are going to miss the other two and the fans might even be a bit less burned out later on. Imagine that.

We open with a text crawl about September 11 and what it means for our freedom. Nothing wrong with this whatsoever and you knew it was coming.

Opening video of Shane McMahon talking about how this is the new vision and a new era, including new champions being crowned for the first time.

Here are Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan to open things up. Shane brags about how awesome the fans and everyone behind the scenes have been. The internet has been blowing up and the red team is getting a run of its money. They talk about the new titles and Shane introduces the Women’s Title match.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Becky Lynch vs. Naomi vs. Nikki Bella vs. Carmella vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Natalya

The title is vacant coming in and this is under elimination rules. Otunga calls Naomi his dark horse with the glow and I’m not daring to touch that one. Nikki is in red, white and blue to hammer home the fact that she’s our fearless hero. Bliss on the other hand is Harley Quinn for a VERY nice look. There are no tags so it’s a wild brawl to start with Nikki being clotheslined to the floor (and being fearless enough to put her foot on the bottom rope to shove herself off before anyone was touching her), leaving Becky to work on Naomi’s arm.

We get the dancing kicks (JBL: “Be glad she only has two feet and not eight.” Uh, right. It’s off to the showdown between Nikki and Carmella and WOW it’s even less interesting than I thought it would be. Bliss makes the save and hits her moonsault knees for two on Naomi. Becky comes back in and it’s time for the parade of secondary finishers, capped off by Carmella brawling with Nikki.

The Alabama Slam gets two on Carmella and Natalya comes back in for a Tower of Doom (a name they thankfully don’t use tonight). Alexa comes back in with a sunset flip out of the corner for two before Carmella sends everyone outside, leaving Naomi to dive onto all of them. Back in and Natalya loads up a powerbomb out of the corner with Naomi adding a Blockbuster to get rid of Bliss at 9:39.

Nikki hits her big forearm on Naomi but Natalya wants the elimination instead and the Sharpshooter makes Naomi tap at 10:54. Nikki’s TKO gets rid of Natalya at 11:57 but Carmella rolls Nikki up for the elimination at 12:04. We’re down to Carmella vs. Becky with Lynch getting in her usual stuff until she runs into a superkick. Not that it matters as Becky grabs the Disarm-Her for the tap out and the title at 14:35.

Rating: C+. This was fun stuff and Becky winning is a nice surprise (though you can imagine Nikki getting the title by the Rumble at the latest). Above all else though, it didn’t feel like they were stretching out to fill in time. Carmella had a good performance here but she and Alexa are still a long way away from the top level. Naomi continues to be worthless save for one spot a match.

Becky gets promo time post match and we get the WAY overused “you deserve it” chant.

Miz yells at a kid from Nickelodeon, who offers Miz a spot on his show. “Unless you can get John Cena instead.”

Bray Wyatt attacks Randy Orton and injures his ankle to cover up for Orton not being medically cleared to compete. They really, really should have done this on TV instead of a bait and switch like this. They were even promoting it on the pre-show and it’s a very cheap move.

Usos vs. Hype Bros

The winners face Heath Slater/Rhyno later in the night to replace the injured American Alpha. The Usos have new gear and Jimmy wrestles in a shirt (thank goodness). Mojo throws Jey around to start but it’s quickly off to Zack for a facebuster on Jimmy. Ryder knocks both twins to the floor and Mojo runs all the way around the ring to run them over in a cool power display.

Back in and the Usos start with the double teaming to send Ryder right back to the floor. The running Umaga attack sets up a chinlock, followed by another chinlock to keep things fresh. Zack sends them outside again and the double tag brings in Mojo as the crowd isn’t all that thrilled. Something like an F5 gets two on Jey and Ryder adds a middle rope hurricanrana for two. Everything breaks down and the Usos go after Ryder’s leg, setting up a Tequila Sunrise to make Ryder tap at 10:11.

Rating: C-. Now this felt like they were dragging it out. The knee stuff from the Usos made sense and there was next to no doubt that the Usos were going over here as you don’t have Hype Bros vs. Slater/Rhyno twice in a week. It’s not a bad match but this was clearly filler and they weren’t making any secret about it.

Slater and Rhyno are ready but Heath has an upset stomach due to some artificial crab dip. Rhyno: “Heath, we’re still live.” Heath: “Uh…..YOU’VE BEEN SWERVED!”

Connor’s Cure video.

We recap Dolph Ziggler vs. the Miz for the Intercontinental Title. Daniel Bryan had accused Miz of being soft but since Bryan can’t wrestle, Miz got to feud with Ziggler instead. Dolph had been wanting to win the big one and the Intercontinental Title seems to suffice.

We cut to Miz in the back where he tells Bryan he wants to renegotiate his contract. Bryan says nothing and Miz laughs at the idea of Bryan calling him a coward. Miz: “I want you to watch me do what you can’t anymore.”

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Miz is defending and is quickly sent outside to start. Back in and Ziggler tries some amateur stuff until Miz punches him in the face to take over. We get some choking on the ropes until Miz counters a dropkick and catapults Ziggler out to the floor. Miz grabs a chinlock as they’re taking their time for obvious reasons.

It’s off to a surfboard before Miz does the YES pose. Oh man they’re teasing the heck out of this but I’m not sure how they’re going to pay it off. Miz’s running corner clothesline looks to set up the top rope ax handle but Ziggler rolls him up for two instead. Ziggler makes his comeback with the usual and sends Miz shoulder first into the post.

Miz comes right back with a slingshot sitout powerbomb (sweet) before hitting a kind of Stunner on the leg. A quick Fameasser gets two for Dolph and he grabs the sleeper to slow Miz down. They trade DDT’s before Miz gets the Figure Four for a good while before Ziggler gets the rope.

This is getting a lot of time so far and it’s only kind of feeling like they’re stretching it out. Miz up but charges into a superkick for two with the champ getting his foot on the rope. Miz bails to the floor and has to be thrown back in, allowing Maryse to spray Ziggler in the eyes with something. The Skull Crushing Finale is enough for the retaining pin at 18:11.

Rating: B. I liked this more than I was expecting but that’s not really surprising with the roll Miz is on at this point. I’m sure this is going to set up a rematch because we just can’t get rid of Ziggler because HE’S IMPORTANT AND GETS SO CLOSE TO WINNING THE BIG ONE WHICH GETS SMALLER AND SMALLER EVERY SINGLE TIME. Miz vs. Bryan would be very interesting but I’d be really surprised if they actually went with that as Bryan’s one last match.

The pre-show panel has a chat.

Here’s Bray with no video or introduction as Orton is injured. The injury is announced and we get a ten count but we have a replacement match and it’s no holds barred.

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

I had the name written before the music hit because of course it’s Kane. They’re quickly on the floor with Kane knocking the bell out of Bray’s hands. Back in and Bray’s cross body has Kane in trouble, followed by a chair to the knee to make it even worse. Another chair shot gets two on Kane until he grabs a running DDT. The side slam looks to set up a chokeslam but Bray takes it outside again.

Bray does Orton’s pose and drops the running backsplash through a table for the big spot. The fans seem very pleased here after booing the heck out of the match announcement. Back in and Sister Abigail is countered into a chokeslam for two. Bray gets the same off a Rock Bottom onto a chair, only to have Orton come out for an RKO. Kane adds a chokeslam for the pin at 10:58.

Rating: C. GAH! I’m so freaking sick of Bray losing time after time after time after time for the sake of setting up what’s likely to be another loss because Bray is bulletproof or whatever. He’s been on the main roster for three years and I can’t remember the last big win he had. The fans are DYING to cheer for him but no, instead let’s have him job to freaking KANE to make us want to see him fight Orton later.

Someone explain why that booking is supposed to make sense. Please. I’d LOVE to hear how that makes sense. It’s Orton fighting a loser who couldn’t even get on the 18 hour Summerslam but now I want to see Bray vs. Orton on pay per view. Just turn him face already like you were planning to do and FREAKING DID AT ONE POINT instead of having him do the same stuff for years. The match was fine for a house show style match but that ending drove me nuts.

AJ Styles tells some nameless jobbers that they’re destined for failure.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Rhyno/Heath Slater

For the inaugural titles. Slater goes after Jey to start before it’s off to Rhyno for some power slots. Heath comes back in but is taken outside for a double suplex into the post (cool). Back in and Slater is slowly beaten down as the back work continues. The fans want Rhyno but get a chinlock from Jey instead.

Slater fights up and we get the double cross body spot to set up the hot tag. Rhyno comes in (to a very nice reaction) but misses the Gore. Heath tags himself back in and hits a neckbreaker on both twins, followed by a DDT for two on Jimmy. The superkick nails Heath but Rhyno hits the Gore to give Slater the pin at 9:57.

Rating: C. I smiled. They won’t hold the titles long and that’s the best idea but this was absolutely fine and the right move at the time. American Alpha can get the belts later but this wraps up Heath Needs A Job and gives the fans a fun moment. Above all else: WWE had something with Slater and they actually did something with it. They ignore that kind of thing WAY too often and it’s such a waste of someone getting over. This is as high as Slater needs to go and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Slater and Rhyno are happy with the win and this sums up everything: “Yo Beulah! WE’RE GETTING A DOUBLE WIDE BABY!!!”

Miz vs. Ziggler chicken deal.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Dean Ambrose which doesn’t have much of a story. Styles beat John Cena last month at Summerslam and has a title shot as a result. Dean doesn’t seem to be taking Styles seriously though.

Smackdown World Title: Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles

Dean is defending. Feeling out process to start with Dean being driven into the ropes. AJ: “I OWN YOU!” A forearm puts a seated Dean down again but he comes back with his awkward slugging, followed by a backdrop to send AJ outside. The suicide dive is broken up though and AJ starts in on the neck before going with the drop down into the dropkick.

Dean comes up holding his nose but makes a comeback anyway by whipping AJ into the corner. That goes nowhere good either as Dean misses a charge into the post. They’re going with the idea that Dean is doing his normal insane style but AJ knows exactly what he’s going to do and is one step ahead. Dean is back up and tries a belly to back superplex but flips AJ over for a big crash to put both guys down.

AJ dives into a spinning Rock Bottom backbreaker of all things for two (makes sense as Dean used something new) and the standing elbow to the floor has AJ in even more trouble. They head inside again with Dean getting suplexed into the corner (becoming a common move lately). Now it’s AJ going after the leg with a standing Robinsdale Crunch out of the corner and the Calf Crusher is on.

Dean makes the ropes so AJ puts the hold on again in the middle of the ring. In a clever counter, Dean grabs the head and slams AJ’s head into the mat over and over. Dean fights up and goes outside for a clothesline, followed by a running bulldog for two back inside. AJ’s fireman’s carry into a backbreaker gets two, followed by a torture rack into a powerbomb for the same.

The springboard 450 gets the same and AJ is stunned. Dean comes back again and hits his running dropkick to knock AJ outside. That means it’s finally table time but instead Dean sends him into the crowd for a suicide dive. It’s not a countout though as they head back inside with a Pele sending Dean into the ropes for the rebound lariat. The ref is bumped though (of course) and a low blow sets up the Styles Clash to give us a new champion at 24:59.

Rating: B+. The ending was the only possible option and that’s the best thing they’ve done all night. They did a great job here with the idea of Dean not being able to keep up with AJ who was just on his game tonight. Dean never really felt like a real World Champion to me so having him lose to the best thing on Smackdown was the right call. Really good match here and the best thing on the show, which had to be expected.

AJ celebrates and we’re out at 10:38.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a really weird one to grade as the ultra low expectations did it a lot of favors. Unfortunately it’s a show that didn’t need to exist and needed a lot of things dragged out to make it work as well as it did. Smackdown is dying for some midcard talent as they had one of the shortest pay per views in a long time and that only worked with a team working twice and the opening match not starting until over fifteen minutes into the show. I liked this as well as I could have given the circumstances but they really need to fix some big problems.

Results

Becky Lynch b. Carmella, Nikki Bella, Natalya, Alexa Bliss and Naomi – Disarm-Her to Carmella

Usos b. Hype Bros – Tequila Sunrise to Ryder

The Miz b. Dolph Ziggler – Skull Crushing Finale

Kane b. Bray Wyatt – Chokeslam

Rhyno/Heath Slater b. Usos – Gore to Jimmy

AJ Styles b. Dean Ambrose – Styles Clash

 

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Backlash 2016 Preview

Let’s see: college football, first weekend of the NFL, see how the Cleveland Indians manager to screw up the division lead this year. Yeah it’s kind of a bor……Backlash? That’s this weekend? Apparently it is despite feeling like it’s lacking another two or three weeks worth of building. It probably doesn’t help that we’re only three weeks removed from the marathon that was Summerslam weekend and there’s barely enough material for a pay per view.

There’s no pre-show match announced yet so let’s start with the precursor to the Tag Team Title match as the Usos are facing the Hype Bros in what you could kind of call the third semifinal match. American Alpha had advanced to the finals to face Heath Slater/Rhyno for the titles but the Usos turned heel and then did so again after the match to injure Chad Gable’s knee, leaving us with only one team for the tournament final. Therefore we’ll be seeing the two teams that lost in the semifinals fight each other with the winners going to the title match.

Save for an American Alpha run-in, I see no reason for the Usos to not win here and go on to face Slater/Rhyno. There isn’t much else to say on this one as Slater/Rhyno already beat the Hype Bros earlier this week (making it even clearer that this match is filler) so the Usos are the only real option. So yeah, the Usos go on as is the only real option here.

That leaves us with the Usos vs. Slater/Rhyno for the titles and I’m really not sure where you go here. There’s a very easy case for the Usos getting the belts to give them credibility (the announcers have made sure to mention that the Usos are the only team in the tournament to ever hold titles in WWE) and of course to set up the rematch with American Alpha, who beat them clean in less than a minute.

On the other hand I’m not sure how long they can string out the “Heath wants a job” angle until they have to give him something. Slater/Rhyno as the first champions would be just fine as American Alpha and the Usos can have a #1 contenders feud and then win the belts while the first champs do comedy. All that being said, the Usos are the logical pick here and I’ll go with them, despite it being stupid to have heels wrestle twice in one night to win a title.

We’ll stick with the title matches as it’s off to Miz defending the Intercontinental Title against Dolph Ziggler. If you’ve been reading my stuff lately, you know I’m really not a fan of this feud and that hasn’t changed. The story here works: they’ve built up Miz as a pretty good champion (if he holds the title another two weeks it’s the longest reign in five years) who is enough of a veteran that he can be a bigger player on Smackdown, especially with what they were teasing with Bryan. Ziggler needs a big win (though remember: it’s DEFENDING the title that matters, not actually winning it) and this is suddenly a big enough deal.

That brings us to the problem: it’s Dolph Ziggler vs. the Miz. These guys have fought a ton of times (four times on TV this year alone) and none of them have been exactly what you would call thrilling. The match will be fine but the buildup to it with both guys wanting to move up the ladder into serious contention should be calling for something special, not something we’ve seen several times before and said “eh not bad” much more often than not. I’ll take Miz to retain the title here but Ziggler going over really wouldn’t shock me as they’re obsessed with pushing him for reasons I really don’t buy.

We’ll get to one of the bigger matches now with Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt and again I’m worried about what they’re going to do here. Orton really, really needs a win after that debacle against Lesnar last month but Bray really needs a win…….well always because he hardly ever wins anything important.

The problem here is there’s only a limited story aside from Wyatt’s traditional “I choose to haunt you” idea which ran out of gas a long time ago. I’m sure it’s going to be entertaining but this feels like a lot of going through the motions instead of giving us something that should be good. I’ll go with Orton here but a no contest or countout/DQ ending would be the better option.

Next up is the Six Pack Challenge for the inaugural Smackdown Women’s Title and I’ll spare you the time by saying this should be Nikki Bella’s to lose. Naomi is the athletic woman who probably won’t win, Alexa Bliss and Carmella are miles away from being ready and Natalya has less charisma than even your average Canadian wrestler. That leaves Nikki and Becky Lynch as the only real options and you know full well that we need a good Bella comeback story after the neck injury that we all sat up crying over because we might never get to hear her call herself fearless again. So yeah, Nikki wins because it’s all about the Bellas.

That leaves us with the main event and as is the case with almost anything else on the card, I really don’t care. Dean Ambrose is defending the Smackdown World Title against AJ Styles and that’s about the extent of their issue. They’ve tried to force in the idea that Dean isn’t taking this seriously and AJ is the uncrowned champion after pinning Cena and…..yeah that’s about it. Aside from a rematch, I really don’t see a reason for AJ to not get the title here. He’s the best on Smackdown and can hold the title for a few months until hopefully someone switches shows to mix things up a bit and give him a fresh challenger.

So that’s Backlash and I’m lucky that I stayed awake while I wrote this up. No matter how you slice it, this show really isn’t interesting and doesn’t need to be a pay per view. The biggest thing here though is this doesn’t feel like a three hour pay per view. We haven’t seen a single brand show yet so maybe they’ll speed things up a bit.

Let’s say the main event and Orton vs. Wyatt eat up an hour combined (that’s probably a big stretch even when you include entrances). A Six Pack Challenge, two tag matches and Miz vs. Ziggler isn’t enough to fill in two hours. I’d be really surprised if this show runs three hours unless they add in some nothing matches like Baron Corbin vs. Kalisto (Is that still a thing?) or Kane squashing Breezango for reasons of general stupidity.

Length issues aside, I’m really not interested in this show and I haven’t seen many who are. Smackdown has been the better of the two shows but they’re a long way away from being able to pull off a three hour pay per view with just the stuff they have. Just let the show run a little shorter and people will be a lot happier. I don’t think the Network subscriptions are going to plummet if one of the seven bonus pay per views a year is a little shorter than average.

 

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Smackdown – September 6, 2016: This One Is A Little Different

Smackdown
Date: September 6, 2016
Location: Pinnacle Bank Arena, Lincoln, Nebraska
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga

I’m not sure how but we’re already at the go home show for Backlash. At this point there are five announced matches (assuming you count a tournament final as an announced match) which means we’re going to get a lot more stuff announced tonight or Sunday’s matches are going to be very long. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Daniel Bryan is in the ring with the Smackdown Women’s Title. Sunday’s Six Pack Challenge will be an elimination match (there’s how they fill in some time) but before we get there, we’ll be having a six women tag match. First though, we’re going to have a forum with all six getting some time to talk. We’ll start with Becky Lynch but before she can say anything, Daniel has to plug Total Bellas.

The fans clearly aren’t interested so Bryan lets Becky talk about being the #1 female Smackdown draft pick. Her journey has brought her here but Natalya cuts her off. Natalya says the Draft was the worst night of her career because Smackdown was supposed to be her kingdom but now she has to put up with Becky and the unnatural hair.

Cue Alexa Bliss to say they’re both whiners and calls Bryan a Bella trophy husband. Now it’s Carmella cutting them because women in WWE can’t let anyone else get more than a few words out. Everyone gets catty about nicknames and the villains accuse Becky of turning them all against each other. Naomi and Nikki run out for the save and the villains leave. This was fine for a quick build but as usual, the women almost all have characters that can be summed up in six words or less and you have to stretch to get that far. If you want the division to go anywhere, give us some development and a reason to care about them.

Dean Ambrose pours most of a bottle of sugar into his coffee.

The bosses are talking about the women’s match when Miz comes in. He’s not happy about having to defend the Intercontinental Title against Dolph Ziggler at Backlash and thinks it’s because of what he said to Bryan a few weeks ago. Bryan says Miz can either fight Ziggler or just hand over the title right now. Miz walks away with the title intact. So much for Bryan and Miz not being on screen at the same time, which is a good thing.

The Miz vs. Apollo Crews

Non-title with Ziggler on commentary. What does it say that I knew this was going to be Crews because he’s the designated midcard jobber? Crews runs him over to start and blocks a headlock with raw power. A shot to the face puts Miz on the floor and Crews moonsaults onto him as we go to a break.

Back with Miz choking in the corner as Ziggler keeps talking about how winning and losing doesn’t matter as long as he tries his best. You know, two weeks after talking about how winning was all that mattered. No wait, it was winning the title and then defending it which mattered because that’s the story they were going with this week. Miz’s running corner clothesline has Crews in trouble but he sends Miz outside. That means it’s time to get in Dolph’s face and slap him in the jaw, only to have Miz shove Crews into him. A quick posting stuns Crews and the Skull Crushing Finale ends Apollo at 10:12.

Rating: D+. I have no idea what they’re trying for with Miz and Ziggler at this point but it seems to be YET ANOTHER attempt to make Ziggler seem important after years of failing to live up to expectations. I’ll be very, very disappointed if they put the title on him Sunday as Miz vs. Bryan still has a lot of potential as they’re trying to make Miz look like something special for a change. Ziggler would be the same nothing champion who would likely lose every non-title match but it doesn’t matter because he tried his best.

Post match Ziggler chases Miz off and has the title in front of him. Ziggler invites Miz in to get the belt but he sends Maryse in instead. See, that’s the kind of thing that shows character rather than “well golly I didn’t win the match that I said I absolutely had to win but I sure tried and that’s what matters” before saying that he has to win the big one (because winning the Intercontinental Title, a title he’s held four times already, now counts as the big one).

AJ Styles is livid about video of him getting crotched last week. He yells at the production assistant who provided the video and that’s about it.

American Alpha video.

The Usos say they still run this tag team division. The division has been around for about three weeks and they’ve already had to affirm their dominance? That’s not a good sign.

Bray Wyatt talks about men having to fight to survive. They had to learn to deal with predators, who only knew how to hunt and kill. The predator didn’t know how to create and one day they became a play thing. History repeats itself and Orton is no longer the predator he once was. Bray is the evolution of man and at Backlash, predator becomes prey.

Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch/Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss/Natalya/Carmella

Nikki makes her entrance before a break so we come back with……the other five entrances. Bliss and Naomi start things off and it’s time for the dancing kicks, which still look horrible. As a bonus this time, Naomi’s kick to the head completely misses but it’s off to Carmella (now in tights instead of the shorts in a smart move for the heel turn) vs. Becky anyway. A backslide gets two on Carmella, who didn’t seem like she kicked out in time. Nikki comes in and again the fans seem to care for reasons that I don’t understand. The villains are chased to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Becky in trouble as Natalya sends her into the apron and grabs a chinlock. Bliss comes in and grabs a chinlock of her own before Natalya hits a Michinoku Driver for two. Becky finally dives over for the hot tag to Nikki and a Disaster kick gets two on Bliss. The TKO gets two on Carmella with Bliss making the save as everything breaks down. Bliss misses her moonsault knees to the ribs and Carmella’s Code of Silence makes Nikki tap at 12:53.

Rating: D. This was bad and there’s really no way around it. Between Naomi focusing on looking athletic without having the ability to pull it off, Carmella having all of one good looking move, Bliss not being able to take a move or hit one of her own and Nikki being in the match for two minutes because they’re trying to keep her safe, there’s only so much Natalya and Becky can do. This division just does not have the depth to work right now and it’s showing more and more when there’s so little to praise in a match with the whole division.

Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Usos vs. American Alpha

We get a handshake to start but the Usos jump Alpha from behind in what feels like a heel turn. Not that it matters as Alpha comes right back and the Grand Amplitude ends Jimmy at 27 seconds.

Post match (with the replay clipping the thing) the Usos beat Alpha down by sending Jordan shoulder first into the post and superkicking Gable in the knee. Jey puts on a Tequila Sunrise and Jimmy adds a Superfly splash to Gable’s other leg for a good looking beatdown. The heel turn is a really good idea for the Usos as they’ve been the exact same team for years now. At least this gives them a little freshening up.

Orton tells a story about a dying man killing a rabbit but getting caught by a snake who wanted the rabbit for himself. The snake didn’t attack until after the man had picked up the rabbit because he knew he could have them both. At Backlash, Bray won’t know what hit him.

Here’s Fandango to say that Tyler Breeze is out finding fabric for their upcoming fashion line. Instead he’s found a woman to tango with Fandango but she’s a bit too wild for him and he throws her out. Fandango asks for anyone else so here’s Kane to chokeslam him. Fans: “GO BIG RED!” (University of Nebraska football chant).

AJ breaks a guy’s phone for not showing him enough respect.

Children with cancer awareness video.

Curt Hawkins video. He’s here next week.

Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Hype Bros vs. Heath Slater/Rhyno

The Slater Family is in the front row as Slater and Ryder start things off. Zack’s middle rope dropkick gets an early two and it’s off to Rawley to send Heath outside. Rawley runs Rhyno down and we take an early break. Back with Slater avoiding a splash in the corner but the fans want Rhyno. The hot tag brings in Ryder and Rhyno but Slater tags himself in and gets rolled up for two. Rhyno saves Heath from the Broski Boot and a Gore ends Ryder at 7:18.

Rating: D+. This was an interesting one as Rhyno was WAY over and the fans are already into Slater but Ryder and Rawley are popular enough that it’s hard to have them be heels. Either way, Slater and Rhyno were the best possible option and could get the belts, especially given Gable’s knee injury.

We look at the knee injury earlier.

Renee Young doesn’t have much of an update on Gable’s condition but the Usos come in to say they were letting out their bottled up aggression. They’ve been putting their bodies on the line for years and the fans turned on them but love American Alpha the second they saw them.

Here are Dean Ambrose and AJ Styles for a face to face meeting to end the show. Dean has a gift for AJ: a bowling trophy for participation, which is the only trophy Dean will ever give him. We see clips of AJ getting crotched last week and AJ isn’t happy. Styles talks about how he beat John Cena but Dean points out that this Sunday, AJ isn’t fighting Cena. On top of that, AJ beat Cena in a wrestling match and Sunday it’s going to be a fight. They don’t give out trophies for second place so AJ kicks Dean low and breaks the trophy to end the show. They kept this short and that’s probably best given how the feud has gone so far.

Overall Rating: C. This show was very different than usual and that’s a good thing as they head into a rather weak pay per view. There are only five matches for the show and tonight focused on the matches to crown new champions. The wrestling really wasn’t the focus here and it’s a good idea to spend this show focusing on everything other than the main event, which has gotten a lot of time already. I really don’t see a three hour pay per view based on this card but they’ve stretched stuff out in other ways before.

Results

The Miz b. Apollo Crews – Skull Crushing Finale

Alexa Bliss/Natalya/Carmella b. Nikki Bella/Naomi/Becky Lynch – Code of Silence to Bella

American Alpha b. Usos – Grand Amplitude to Jimmy

Heath Slater/Rhyno b. Hype Bros – Gore to Ryder

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown – August 30, 2016: How To Waste A Big Moment

Smackdown
Date: August 30, 2016
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga

Much like last night, this show has a lot of potential to be something big but instead of one big match, this show is built around a few individual issues. First and foremost, we’ll see the fallout from Miz’s awesome shoot promo on Daniel Bryan, which some people didn’t expect to see referenced on TV. There’s also more of the Tag Team Title tournament and Dean Ambrose vs. Baron Corbin. Let’s get to it.

We open with the full Miz vs. Daniel Bryan interview from last week’s Talking Smack with Bryan calling Miz soft but Miz saying his style means he doesn’t get injured and leave for six months to a year at a time. Bryan walked off and Miz went on a tirade about how the Intercontinental Title is the most important one on Smackdown because he’s the one out there every night. This was GREAT and more emotion than Miz has ever shown, which makes me think his days as champion are numbered.

Shane tells Bryan that he can’t do that to the talent and Bryan agrees. However, Bryan finds this ironic coming from the person having issues with Brock Lesnar.

Opening sequence.

Here’s a ticked off Miz with something to say. Miz doesn’t want to hear any booing because it’s taken 148 days (the length of his title reign) to get the fans’ attention. He’s bringing prestige back to this title but people think he’s soft. Yeah he wrestles a different style but it’s because he’s smart enough to see the big picture.

What the fans don’t understand is what goes on backstage. Who do you think they call when they need someone to do a red carpet premiere or a commercial or main event Wrestlemania and then dress up as a chicken? Miz didn’t spend the first twelve years of his career wrestling in front of 50 people and people booing him for that makes them cowards. Cue Dolph Ziggler and I’m done. This was getting really interesting and it’s about Dolph “RESPECT ME WHEN I’M SERIOUS AND THEN LOSE EVERY BIG MATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN” Ziggler all over again.

Dolph says no one is going to buy what Miz says because he’s never proven a thing. If Miz wants to show how tough he is, fight right now with no referees or titles on the line. Just the two of them right now. As expected, Miz teases fighting but walks off. Ziggler says Bryan was right and calls him a soft, safe coward but that’s not enough to get him to fight either.

I actually felt the air go out of me when Ziggler came out. This story had the potential to actually be something fresh but instead it’s the same old Ziggler that we’ve seen for months and have no reason to believe it’s going to be anything different this time around. Ziggler is just a played out character and I wanted something fresh this time from Miz. Instead it’s another Battle of Cleveland because that’s what WWE thinks new and different means.

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Hype Bros vs. Vaudevillains

The villains takes over to start and send Ryder outside for a neckbreaker on the floor. The double teaming only lasts for a few moments before the tag brings in Rawley for his splashes. A running fist in the corner sets up the Hype Ryder to pin English at 2:53. This was exactly the kind of energetic match these two needed, even though they’re likely losing in the next round.

To my shock, JBL seems to love the Hype Ryders. You would expect him to hate a team like this.

Post match the Hype Bros say they’re hyped enough to win the titles.

We finally see the tournament brackets and the Usos vs. American Alpha is actually a semifinal match. That makes things a lot more interesting.

AJ Styles runs into Apollo Crews and introduces himself as the face who runs this place.

Here’s AJ Styles for a chat. AJ, in the Cena headband, says he’s already beaten up John Cena and now he’s going to win the World Title. This brings out Apollo Crews to say Daniel Bryan has granted him a match against AJ right now. I love the fact that they just got to the point here. It was clear we were getting this match the second they ran into each other so there’s no reason to waste time setting it up.

AJ Styles vs. Apollo Crews

Crews leapfrogs AJ to start and sends it outside but Crews stops to brag about a right hand. Back with AJ holding a chinlock because that’s how you come back from breaks in WWE. Crews sends him into the corner and backdrops AJ outside for a moonsault from the apron. Back in and AJ’s high cross body is countered into a Samoan drop (that’s kind of insane) for another near fall. Not that it matters as AJ stuns him across the ropes and the Phenomenal Forearm puts Crews away at 8:15.

Rating: C+. Crews is still fun to watch but he loses a lot more often than not and really doesn’t have a character to speak of. Really all I know about him is that he’s an athletic freak and that’s not exactly enough to carry you far. It only worked so well for Shelton Benjamin and Crews isn’t that far along yet.

Earlier this week, Renee Young went to Heath Slater’s trailer and met his wife for some redneck humor. As Rhino eats cheese whiz and crackers, Slater calls not being drafted an oversight. More redneck jokes ensue and Slater talks about how he’s earned a contract several times now. When they win the titles, it’s time to upgrade to a double wide. There’s talk of the kids (outside picking up bottles and cans) but a car screeching sends the Slaters outside. Rhino just keeps calmly eating crackers. I get what they were going for here but this just isn’t my kind of humor.

Here’s Bray Wyatt with a message for Randy Orton. Bray isn’t scared of snakes or monsters because he doesn’t see Orton as anything more than a man. If Orton really hears voices, Bray hopes they’re telling him to run but here’s Randy in person. Randy says that a bunch of staples in his head aren’t going to change anything because being damaged is what he does. Bray calls himself the new predator and promises to cut the serpent’s head off at Backlash. Orton talks about Bray seeing the scars on his body but needing to worry about the scars inside. He agrees to the match and goes inside but Bray vanishes.

Natalya/Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch/Naomi

Nikki Bella is on commentary to do a commercial for Total Bellas. Naomi hurricanranas Natalya to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Naomi in trouble until a jawbreaker allows the tag off to Becky. House is cleaned and everything breaks down as Carmella comes out to brawl with Nikki. In the melee, Bliss rolls Becky up and grabs the trunks for the pin at 7:21.

Rating: D+. This division really needs some promo time. I know all of their basic characters (or what they have for characters) but I really don’t know much about most of them. Almost all of them need a chance to give us a reason to care, even if it’s just a quick promo during their entrances.

Video on the Headbangers. For the life of me I don’t get why they were picked to come back. It’s like when Greg Valentine would show up on Nitro for a one off match.

Video on Curt Hawkins.

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Headbangers vs. Rhino/Heath Slater

Mosh and Thrasher look exactly the same as they did in 1999. Slater gets beaten down to start and the springboard clothesline puts him on the floor. Some stomping sets up a chinlock as Otunga calls the Headbangers the last two Marilyn Manson fans. The Stage Dive (powerbomb/guillotine legdrop combo) gets two as Rhino makes the save. Rhino (with what looks like some blood on the left side of his face) drags Slater over for the tag and the Gore ends Mosh at 2:53. It might be time for Thrasher to go back to training wrestlers like he did with Big Show.

A guy in a suit named Derrick Milliman has been granted a match tonight and issues an open challenge. Kane comes out for a chokeslam and leaves. Were they just running short on time or something? As Kane leaves, Baron Corbin comes out for the main event. Maybe that’s what they’re trying to set up?

Baron Corbin vs. Dean Ambrose

Non-title and AJ is on commentary. Ambrose knocks Baron to the floor to start and hits a running clothesline from the apron. Back in and Dean’s bulldog is broken up and Baron pounds away with right hands. We come back from a break with Corbin holding a chinlock and getting two off a choke legsweep. Dean fights up and gets two off his clothesline before hitting the suicide dive on the floor. Back in and the Deep Six plants Dean but AJ gets in Baron’s face and tells him to stay on it. Dean knocks Baron into Styles so AJ kicks Baron in the face for the DQ at 12:12.

Rating: C. Odd ending aside, this was a nice showcase for Corbin and it’s a good sign to not have him get pinned here. It would be nice if they gave Corbin something to do other than torture Kalisto (Did that go anywhere yet?). It’s not like they’re overflowing with options at the moment and building up a big man isn’t going to hurt anything.

Post match the main eventers fight until Dean hits Corbin with Dirty Deeds. AJ gets crotched and Dean seems to sympathize before bouncing the ropes up and down. Dean takes his belt and leaves AJ sitting on the top rope to end the show. I really don’t like having AJ look silly like that, especially after he did something good earlier tonight.

Overall Rating: B-. This felt like an older episode of Smackdown but thankfully it was one where they actually got some stuff done. Nothing major was set up (save for making Bray vs. Orton official) but they did a good job of advancing a few angles and building towards the matches later on. That’s the kind of show they needed with less than two weeks before Backlash, but I’m still not sold on this being a full on three hour pay per view.

Results

Hype Bros b. Vaudevillains – Hype Ryder to English

AJ Styles b. Apollo Crews – Phenomenal Forearm

Alexa Bliss/Natalya b. Naomi/Becky Lynch – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Rhino/Heath Slater b. Headbangers – Gore to Mosh

Baron Corbin b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when AJ Styles interfered




Smackdown – August 23, 2016: Good, But Not Gold

Smackdown
Date: August 23, 2016
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga

It’s an interesting time for Smackdown as we’re past Summerslam and the brand is really starting to come into its own. Tonight we’ll see the unveiling of the new Smackdown Women’s and Tag Team Titles but possibly more importantly we should get an update on Brock Lesnar attacking Shane McMahon to end Summerslam. Let’s get to it.

Various people are in the back when AJ Styles comes in to brag about how awesome he is. AJ puts Cena’s armband around his head and talks down to Dolph Ziggler a lot, triggering a brawl.

Opening sequence.

The tag and women’s divisions are in the ring around the new titles (The Women’s Title is the same as the Raw version but with a blue background. The Tag Team Titles look similar to the Raw versions but with silver instead of bronze.) when the bosses come out. We’ll start with the women, all of whom have potential to be the champion.

At Backlash, there will be a Six Pack Challenge to determine the first champion. The Tag Team Titles will be decided at Smackdown as well with the finals of a tournament. Cue Heath Slater to say he should be Michael Phelps and get to compete for some gold. Ignoring that THE BELTS ARE SILVER, Daniel says Heath isn’t equipped to fight for the Women’s Title.

Heath meant the tag belts so Bryan gives him an offer: if Slater can find a partner by the end of the night, the bosses will find another team and make it an eight team tournament. However, Slater only gets a contract if he and his partner win the whole thing. That’s fine with Slater but here’s AJ to interrupt. He’s tired of hearing about the Tag Team Titles and the Women’s Ti…..”No I won’t be your partner Slater.” This brings out Ziggler to jump him from behind and the bosses send the tag teams out to break it up as we go to a break.

Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss

Naomi and Natalya are on commentary. Becky takes it down to the mat in an armbar but gets kicked in the head for her efforts. We hit an armbar on Becky until some clotheslines have Bliss reeling. Bliss gets two off a nice looking spinning sunset flip out of the corner but a quick Disarm-Her makes her tap at 4:00.

Rating: C. Bliss has improved by leaps and bounds in recent months but sweet goodness Naomi and Natalya have no personalities. Naomi sounded bored and Natalya spoke in the exact same tone that she’s had since the day she debuted with the company. At least Becky has some charisma to her, though her recent wardrobe choices are a bit odd.

Heath tries to get Miz on board as his partner and Miz agrees but it turns out he’s on the phone.

Smackdown Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Usos vs. Ascension

Jey gets beaten down to start with Konnor adding a middle rope shoulder for two. We hit a nerve hold for a bit until an enziguri allows the double tag. Everything breaks down and the Usos start with their superkicks, including one to set up the Superfly Splash for the pin on Viktor at 3:47.

Rating: D+. This was exactly what it should have been and hopefully we just get to Usos vs. Alpha for the belts as it’s fairly obvious we’re heading towards. I’m also glad that Ascension, who has only won a handful of matches in over a year, was dispatched in less than four minutes here. That doesn’t do much for their spot in a tag division but at least they’re a pair of warm bodies.

Here’s AJ to discuss his win on Sunday. With the NEVER GIVE UP armband around his own arm, AJ says he beat up John Cena and then beat him at Summerslam. All these Cena fans can be his new fans because he should be #1 contender to the WWE World Title. Ziggler fights his way to the ring but here’s Bryan to make a match for tonight. AJ already has a shot at Backlash but if Ziggler wins, it’s a triple threat.

Nikki Bella vs. Carmella

Renee Young tries to interview Nikki before the match but Carmella jumps Nikki from behind to start. Carmella gives her a bad looking Downward Spiral and a Bella Buster for a heel turn, which makes a lot of sense for her actually. Nikki starts holding her neck and OH NO IT’S JUST SO SCARY AND TRAGIC BECAUSE SHE’S SO AMAZING. No match.

Video on the Summerslam main event.

Here’s Orton for a chat. He was in a heck of a fight on Sunday night and had ten staples put in his head to close the gash. Randy didn’t want the match to end the way it did, including Shane McMahon coming out for a save. He and Lesnar will cross paths again but here’s Bray Wyatt to interrupt. Bray: “How’s your head Randy?” Wyatt goes on about how great a person Randy is but says he’s something a little higher. Randy will find out all about that in time so Randy says bring it. The lights go out again and Bray is gone.

Shane is asked about Brock and doesn’t think Stephanie is going to take it seriously. She’s already fined Brock $500 and that means it’s far from over between Brock and himself.

Slater tries to get Arn Anderson to be his partner but Arn says he’s not Ric Flair. Rhyno comes up and says he’ll do it.

Smackdown Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Breezango vs. American Alpha

Fandango dances at Gable to start and is of course taken down with ease. It’s off to Jordan vs. Breeze with Jason cranking on an armbar to the tunes of a USA chant. Breezango finally cheats by drawing Jordan in so Fandango can get in a clothesline to take over on Gable. Back from a break with Gable making a hot tag and handing it off to Jordan to clean house. A bridging German suplex gets two on Breeze and he hurricanranas Jordan for the same. Gable has to make a save off a superkick but Jordan hits the belly to belly on Tyler. The Grand Amplitude sends American Alpha on at 10:28.

Rating: B-. That was way better than I was expecting as Breezango continues to be a great surprise and far better than they have any right to be. It’s good to give Alpha some tougher matches like this before the finals as there’s only so much they’re going to prove after facing teams like the Vaudevillains or the Ascension.

Dean Ambrose, in a big hat, says he was up in the casino playing roulette. He doesn’t care who is fighting tonight because he’ll be ready for anyone. Dean gets a shot and coffee but leaves the waitress some casino chips. I guess he was supposed to be drunk?

Dolph Ziggler vs. AJ Styles

Dean is on commentary. Ziggler has a fact file that says he’s a supporter of the Wrestlemania Reading “Charllenge.” They go right at it with Ziggler dropkicking him to the floor for a break in less than a minute. Back with AJ sending Ziggler chest first into the buckle and working on the other side with a backbreaker. Ziggler can’t get a comeback started yet so AJ stomps him down in the corner before kicking at the leg. A few knee lifts send Ziggler outside and we take another break.

Back again with Ziggler fighting out of an armbar and hitting a great looking dropkick. The big elbow drop gets two and AJ goes shoulder first into the post. The Fameasser is good for another two count and AJ’s fireman’s carry backbreaker gets the same. Styles misses the springboard 450 and gets caught in the running DDT for yet another near fall.

Dolph avoids a charge into the ropes and a Zig Zag gets a VERY close two count. They almost had me on that one, even though I have a really hard time believing that they would put Ziggler over here. A superkick misses though and AJ kicks him low, setting up a Styles Clash for the pin and the title shot at 21:40.

Rating: B+. So at the end of the day, after a pay per view title match and this big match, Ziggler is right back where he was coming into the Draft: an upper midcard jobber to the stars who isn’t likely to win anything important and while he can have some good matches like this, I still have no reason to care about him. AJ winning was the only way to go here and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Dean and AJ have a staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was the best show they’ve had since the brand split and that’s a good sign. I really don’t like having the new titles for divisions this weak but at least the Tag Team Titles (which should be GOLD) look cool. They need more people for those divisions in a bad way so pairing up Rhyno and Slater works well enough. The rest of the show was fine as we wait for AJ to take his place as the king of Smackdown in a few weeks.

Results

Becky Lynch b. Alexa Bliss – Disarm-Her

Usos b. Ascension – Superfly Splash to Viktor

American Alpha b. Breezango – Grand Amplitude to Breeze

AJ Styles b. Dolph Ziggler – Styles Clash

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Summerslam 2016: They Didn’t

Summerslam 2016
Date: August 21, 2016
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the second biggest night of the year but there’s a real case to be made that this show is much bigger than Wrestlemania. There are five potential main events with the likely headliner of Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton. Based on the matches alone there’s almost no way this isn’t great so let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Ascension/Vaudevillains/Breezango vs. American Alpha/Hype Bros/Usos

Rematch from Smackdown. Gable takes Breeze to the mat to start and works on the arm before it’s off to Jey. English comes in and gets his arm cranked by Rawley. Ryder comes in with a middle rope dropkick and everything breaks down with Alpha taking down Ascension with a top rope clothesline. Everyone is on the floor as we take a break. Back with Gotch cranking on Ryder’s arm before Viktor comes in with a chinlock.

Breeze gets his turn at a chinlock and Viktor keeps Zack in trouble. A neckbreaker puts Konnor down though and the hot tag brings in Jimmy to almost no reaction. Everything breaks down and Jordan starts throwing suplexes as only he cans. We get the parade of people hitting each other in the face until Rawley powerbombs Breeze and Viktor. The Usos superkick Ascension off the apron and hit double dives to take out most of the heels. Gotch takes the Grand Amplitude but Jey tags himself in for the Superfly Splash and the pin at 14:30.

Rating: C. This was a much longer version of what we got on Smackdown but at least they’re actually setting up the first major feud. Now that being said, I don’t buy the idea of Alpha winning the titles outright as it seems smarter to have them get really close but let another team steal the belts. That allows Alpha to chase them for a bit and build up the rest of the division in the process. Or they could just give us Alpha vs. the Usos and then wonder why everything after that is a letdown.

Pre-Show: Dudley Boyz vs. Sami Zayn/Neville

The Dudleys have been having some issues as of late. Neville and D-Von start as Cole confirms that Orton vs. Lesnar is the main event. The good guys take turns on D-Von’s arm until Neville uses Sami’s back as a launchpad for a corkscrew moonsault. Bubba gets in a shot from behind to take over as the fans want tables. D-Von cranks on Neville’s neck and we take a break.

Back with Bubba hitting a neckbreaker out of the corner and telling D-Von to work on that neck. It’s back to Bubba, who shouts at the “English boy” to fight back. The middle rope splash misses though and the hot tag brings in Sami. The comeback doesn’t last long though as Sami gets caught in the reverse 3D. Bubba clotheslines D-Von again, setting up the Helluva Kick and the Red Arrow for the pin at 7:54.

Rating: C. Remember the last few weeks where Bubba and D-Von can’t win basic matches? Well this was an extended version of that. Sami and Neville are fine for a tag team, though you would think Sami would have been much better suited getting a singles run off that big win over Owens. But nah, we need Cesaro vs. Sheamus in at least six matches instead of giving Sami some kind of a push.

Pre-Show: Cesaro vs. Sheamus

Match #1 in a best of seven series to establish dominance, whatever the heck that’s supposed to mean. Cesaro has a tear away tuxedo tonight. Cole: “Cesaro set to take on Cesaro tonight.” Apparently these two have been going back and forth. Now normally that would imply that they had both won a match but winning matches is so blasé anymore.

The Brogue Kick and Cesaro Swing are both broken up but Sheamus sends him into the post to take over. Sheamus puts on an armbar and a tilt-a-whirl powerslam takes us to a break. Back with Cesaro in a chinlock and a look at what we saw before the break, a full minute ago. The Regal Roll means we should respect the hawk but Cesaro counters a suplex to send both guys falling out to the floor.

Back in and Cesaro starts firing off the uppercuts to set up the lifting superplex for two. That’s not enough for the Neutralizer though as Sheamus grabs White Noise to escape. A middle rope Regal Roll gets two more for Sheamus but the Brogue Kick is blocked, followed by a very hard clothesline from Cesaro.

For some reason Cesaro stands on the post and jumps down onto the top rope for the high cross body. Not much of a change but it looked cool enough. The Swing sets up the Sharpshooter but Sheamus is right next to the rope. Sheamus is tired of getting beaten on though and thumbs him in the eye to set up the Brogue Kick for the pin at 14:38.

Rating: B-. Here’s the thing: yes this was a hard hitting, entertaining match but these two aren’t exactly the kind of wrestlers who vary their offense too much. How many different things are they going to be able to do to keep this presumably long series fresh? At least the first match was good and they went with the only option as you can’t have Sheamus lose three times in a row.

The opening video focuses on New York City because Heaven forbid we don’t tell New Yorkers how amazing their city is every chance we get. A good highlight package for most of the matches plays over the narration.

There’s an especially big Titantron to give the show a unique look.

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens

Enzo and Cass suck up to the fans (makes sense) and sing a song I’m not familiar with. That leads to a talk about Frank Sinatra and Cass singing a little New York, New York. Now it’s time to talk about Big E. Smalls because they’re another problem for Jeri-KO. The Canadians jump Cass to start and double team Enzo for some good strategy. The fans chant STUPID IDIOT until Enzo punches Jericho in the face and tags in Cass.

House is quickly cleaned with the big man beating up the villains and sending them outside, only to have Enzo get launched over the top (with his foot almost getting caught on the top rope). Back in and Jericho kicks Enzo in the face to take over, allowing Owens to talk trash as only he can. We hit the ASK HIM chinlock, followed by the running the ropes chinlock from Owens.

Jericho cuts off a hot tag attempt and there’s the springboard dropkick to take Cass off the apron. Owens adds the frog splash for a near fall as you can hear the fans being very much into this. The Cannonball misses and that’s enough for the hot tag to Cass. The Bada Boom Shakalacka is broken up (and that’s a shame), allowing Owens to Cannonball Cass against the barricade. Back in and Owens launches Enzo into a Codebreaker for the pin at 12:22.

Rating: C+. Fun opener but the ending is a bit of a headscratcher, assuming this ends the feud. That ending was certainly dominance establishing if anything ever has been but that doesn’t mean enough to end a feud anymore. Notice that they’re still protecting Cass, which is a really good idea. I don’t think he’s actually been pinned yet in WWE and that could mean something special for his future.

Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan run into Mick Foley for the standard “my show is better”. They run into Jon Stewart, who freaks out about Foley working with Stephanie…..who is right behind Stewart. Stephanie teases abusing her power when New Day cuts them off. Foley steals some cereal as New Day asks if they can borrow Stewart. Stephanie says she’s misunderstood.

We recap Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte for the Women’s Title, which Banks won from Charlotte just under a month ago. The big deal is that Dana Brooke is banned from ringside, despite Banks winning after Dana was ejected in the first match.

Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte

Banks is defending and gets right in Charlotte’s face before we can even get the Big Match Intros. Cole again gets the dominance concept in as Charlotte uses her “physical dominance” to put Sasha in the corner. The champ comes right back with an early Bank Statement attempt to send Charlotte into the corner. Charlotte puts her on the top rope for a choke with her boot before trying a backbreaker onto the top, only to have Sasha crash onto the ropes for two instead.

Charlotte stays on the back with a Gory Special and an STO backbreaker for another near fall. A hurricanrana gets Sasha out of trouble for a bit but Charlotte ties her in the Tree of Woe for some kicks to the ribs. In the move that has to be countered to avoid death, Charlotte’s super Razor’s Edge is countered with another hurricanrana to put both of them down. They slug it out with Sasha slapping away to take over before putting on a Boston crab in the corner.

The double knees to the back get two before Sasha knocks her to the floor for the double knees to the chest. She’s lucky that didn’t crush Charlotte’s head. The Bank Statement doesn’t work but Natural Selection is countered into the Bank Statement, only to have Charlotte escape again. Now Natural Selection connects for a string of two counts before Sasha grabs another Bank Statement. Charlotte is in trouble until she grabs the leg and rolls Sasha up for the pin and the title at 13:49.

Rating: B. Remember when Sasha won the title and it was a big deal and felt like a change of pace? Yeah forget all that because we’re likely heading for a gimmick match at Clash of the Champions as the title is hot potatoed again. This is another good example of the booking being suited for whatever they have coming up instead of what makes sense, especially when you could do the same thing to set up a third match later on. Not a fan of the booking but the match was the usual good stuff from these two.

Anderson and Gallows are making doctor jokes when AJ Styles comes in for some too sweeting. Finn Balor comes in, looks at them, and leaves as the fans lose their minds.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Apollo Crews

Crews is challenging after winning a triple threat. These two have had almost no contact to build this up and it’s a pretty forgotten match coming in. Speaking of forgotten, Maryse’s outfit (basically a one piece swimsuit) is likely going to cause a lot of people to forget that there’s a match going on. Crews gets two off a rollup but gets caught in a DDT. Miz gets dropkicked out of the air and Crews slams him hard for two. An overhead belly to belly sets up the standing moonsault (from Crews if that’s not clear) and a rollup gets two. Crews misses a charge into the corner though and the Skull Crushing Finale retains the title at 5:40.

Rating: C. Just a Smackdown match here with the Intercontinental Title still not doing much at Summerslam. Crews losing here is fine as it’s not like he’s done anything worthy of being champion yet. That being said, it would be nice if the fans were given something to cheer for on this very long night.

We recap John Cena vs. AJ Styles. AJ beat him (with the help of the Club) at Money in the Bank and they’ve actually held off on the rematch since. The idea is an old standard as AJ thinks it’s his time but Cena wants to stand up for what he believes in and isn’t ready to go yet. The promos have more than carried it though and that’s what really matters, especially when the match itself will be great.

AJ Styles vs. John Cena

This is earlier than I was expecting. The dueling chants being and you can tell Cena is fired up. Feeling out process to start until AJ hits the dropdown dropkick but spends too much time posing, allowing a big right hand to the face. The fans come up with various ways to say John Cena sucks as AJ suplexes him on the apron to take over.

AJ’s strike rush has Cena in trouble but he comes back again with the running shoulders. Styles gets right up and hits the Pele to set up the first Styles Clash for the first kicking out of a finisher. Since this is a Cena pay per view match, an AA hits immediately after for two more. I knew that was coming before they were even off the mat.

A torture rack powerbomb gets two more for AJ before something like a Big Ending of all things gets the same for Cena. The AA backbreaker drops Cena for two more but AJ misses a springboard 450. Cena can’t follow up though and AJ gets two off a belly to back into a facebuster. There’s the STF but Styles reverses into a not great Crossface. Cena powers out but gets pulled down into the Calf Crusher.

That’s reversed into the STF which is escaped for an enziguri from AJ. They’re just trading big moves here. The tornado DDT and top rope Fameasser get two each for Cena so AJ uses his turn for a super hurricanrana. The Phenomenal Forearm gets two more so Cena uses that big clothesline that he uses for a comeback. Cena grabs the super AA for two in a very rare failure for that move. John looks at him in awe and charges into another Styles Clash, followed by the Phenomenal Forearm for the completely clean pin at 23:17.

Rating: A. That’s going to set the bar very high for the match of the weekend. AJ winning clean here is a HUGE deal for him and makes him the pretty much undisputed #1 contender for the Smackdown World Title. It’s really nice to see the trend of “Cena loses, Cena wins, Cena wins again” broken and the fact that it was in such a great match helped a lot. Oh and very good move to have AJ kick out of the super AA and then win. It would have been such a waste otherwise. This was great stuff and the ending made it even better so I’m much happier than I was coming in.

Cena actually gets cheered post match. He takes off the Never Give Up armband and leaves it in the ring before walking away. I doubt it goes anywhere but that could mean something.

Some fans won a contest.

Here’s Jon Stewart to say that was a great match because no one interfered and hit one of them with a chair. Yes he did that last year and he learned that you never take an AA without tucking your shirt in. He’s been asked by New Day to join with them for one night and puts on a unicorn horn. Stewart starts Big E.’s intro but the crowd does the rest for him.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Anderson and Gallows

New Day is defending and Big E. is out hurt. Anderson and Gallows come out in their doctor coats and even have a small jar for Stewart. Kofi starts with Anderson and flips out of a monkey flip as you would expect him to do. The Unicorn Stampede has Gallows in trouble and Kofi dives over the top, poses in the air, and takes him out again.

Anderson offers a quick distraction so Kofi can get beaten down for a bit, only to have Woods get the tag a few moments later. A big elbow from the top (as in the middle of the rope, not the corner) gets two on Anderson as everything breaks down. There’s the Magic Killer but Stewart comes in to yell. Anderson and Gallows go to beat him up, allow Stewart to tuck in his shirt, and go to crotch him against the post. Cue Big E. for the save though and that’s a DQ at 9:10.

Rating: D+. This was just a way to keep the titles on New Day for a year as they’ll likely drop them to Anderson and Gallows at Clash of the Champions. The match was nothing special of course as again this felt like a Raw match to fill in time on a pay per view instead of something that actually mattered. Not bad or anything but just there.

Big E. drinks the fluid in his his ball jar.

We recap Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose. Dean is carrying Smackdown as the champion but Ziggler won a six pack challenge to earn a title shot here. Ziggler has been getting much more serious lately and superkicked Dean in mid sentence on Smackdown earlier this week.

Smackdown World Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dean is defending and Shane and Bryan are at ringside to hold them apart before the bell. They slap each other in the face to start until Ziggler takes him down with a nice amateur move. Dean goes outside and sends Ziggler into the steps, followed by a butterfly superplex for two. Ambrose grabs a half crab as JBL goes into a rant about Dean robbing a homeless mannequin.

Back up and Dean gets two off a Glam Slam of all things before tuning up the band, which is now mocking Ziggler instead of Shawn. Instead of a superkick (what a concept), Dean tries Dirty Deeds but gets shoved to the floor. Ziggler gets two off the running DDT and hits back to back Fameassers for two. They hit crossbodies at the same time before Dean takes over with the top rope elbow.

Dean swivels his hips a bit (so he’s ripped off Shawn Michaels, Dolph Ziggler, Dude Love and Rick Rude so far) before they fall out to the floor. Ziggler hits a quick superkick before the Zig Zag gets two back inside. The sleeper doesn’t get Ziggler very far as Dean hits the rebound lariat for two more. Ziggler takes him up for a super faceplant but gets shoved down and caught in Dirty Deeds for the clean pin (and silence from the crowd) at 15:22.

Rating: B-. That was a good midcard title match disguised as a World Title match for reasons that I don’t even want to try to comprehend. Ziggler losing clean like that was rather stupid but you had to expect something close to it. People just don’t buy him as a big deal and it’s really hard to after all these losses. It’s probably the best move though because either of these guys is just keeping the title warm for Styles.

We look at WWE taking over New York.

Naomi/Becky Lynch/Carmella vs. Natalya/Alexa Bliss/???

Eva Marie gets her full entrance but apparently she’s suffering from exhaustion and anxiety brought on by mean WWE fans. Therefore, we have a replacement.

Naomi/Becky Lynch/Carmella vs. Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Nikki Bella

Becky and Natalya start things off before it’s off to Naomi for a springboard sunset flip for two. The splits legdrop gets two more and it’s off to Carmella to send Natalya into a raised boot. Natalya takes over and it’s back to Nikki to a shockingly strong pop. A spinebuster gets two on Carmella before Bliss comes in for her moonsault knees to the ribs for two. Carmella finally crawls over and makes the tag off to Becky as things speed up but the crowd stays quiet.

Becky fires off the kicks in the corner and the Bexploder drops Natalya. A hard enziguri hits Natalya again and it’s off to Naomi for the dancing kicks. The split legged moonsault misses though and we get Carmella vs. Nikki as everything breaks down. Nikki hits her big forearm and a TKO puts Carmella away at 11:04. Ranallo: “Nikki Bella victorious in her return to WWE!”

Rating: C. Well there’s your first Smackdown Women’s Champion and to be fair, it’s not the worst idea. The only real options they had for realistic potential champions were Becky (fine) and Natalya (save me) as Naomi isn’t interesting and the other three aren’t ready for the title scene. Nikki is a good addition, but egads I was liking not having to hear about how inspirational they are and how much we should admire them.

We recap Rusev vs. Roman Reigns for the US Title, which involved Lana going into a wedding cake.

Maria Menunos of all people interviews Rusev and Lana, who say the title isn’t going anywhere.

We recap Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins for the inaugural Universal Title. Rollins gets the spot due to being the #1 draft pick and Balor won a mini tournament by pinning Roman Reigns to get his place. Seth seems to be laughing off Balor as a challenger so Balor brought out the Demon to make it clear how serious this was.

Raw World Title: Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

The title is vacant coming in. We see the belt for the first time and it’s the same as the Smackdown World Title but with a red strap and a UNIVERSAL CHAMPION plate on the bottom. Balor does the full on Demon entrance (complete with something like a Papa Shango paint design) and the fans are VERY pleased. This has to be won via pin or submission so it’s essentially a street fight.

Balor hits a quick dropkick and loads up the Coup de Grace but Rollins gets to the floor. Finn follows him out and starts going after the leg before diving off the barricade. Back in and Balor works on the leg, only to be taken outside for a powerbomb into the barricade. Rollins chokes away in the corner and it’s off to a chinlock. Things stay slow as Seth works on the back (too common of a target tonight) before ripping at Finn’s face.

The good looking frog splash gets two on Balor but he reverses a clothesline (looked like a Rainmaker, which is still just a clothesline) into a DDT. A knee to the face sends Rollins outside and a Sling Blade knocks him silly inside. 1916 gets two for Finn but the Coup de Grace misses and Seth grabs a triangle choke of all things. Finn gets his foot on the ropes but that’s not a break because there’s no DQ. Uh….that’s not really the same as rope breaks not counting but I get the idea.

Back in and the Buckle Bomb sets up the low superkick for two. A small package driver (fisherman’s driver into a fast small package) gets two more but Balor kicks him down, only to miss the Coup de Grace. The Pedigree only gets two and the fans aren’t even responding to the near falls anymore. Seth rolls through a Phoenix Splash (geez) but runs to the top for a superplex into a Pedigree attempt, only to have Balor dropkick him into the corner. The Coup de Grace makes Balor champion at 19:16.

Rating: B+. This was the only option as they had to pull the trigger on Balor (or someone) after the ratings have been such a disaster. Balor might not be a great champion but they’ve made him feel like a big deal and that’s what they need on this show. Rollins can take the title back whenever if necessary but at least the match was great and Rollins put him over clean.

Cole says Balor is the first person to win a World Title in his first match on a pay per view. No Cole, he’s not.

Pre-show panel recap because screw people having to go to work tomorrow.

It’s 10:26pm and we’ve got two matches left, so here’s a video of Dolph Ziggler dressed up as Colonel Sanders to beat up Miz in a chicken suit. No this isn’t some fever dream from watching too much wrestling lately. This is really happening and you’re supposed to be entertained by it.

US Title: Roman Reigns vs. Rusev

Reigns is challenging to stand up for America. Rusev jumps him before the bell and sends Reigns into the steps a few times. The bad arm is crushed by some steps but Reigns Superman Punches him off the barricade. Referees come out to pull them apart and the guys fight over a chair. Reigns cracks him over the back with a chair and is finally made to leave. No match due to Rusev not being able to compete.

Rusev is being helped off and Reigns runs back out for the spear. Ok Reigns is the heel now. Let’s see: he showed up to the wedding celebration uninvited, ruined Lana’s dress and then attacked an injured man. Rusev on the other hand was standing up for his wife and defending her honor. Why does that make him a heel here?

Long video on Orton vs. Lesnar, the same one from the last few weeks on TV. They were put together to give Lesnar a big match and they’ve traded finishers since.

Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton

They circle each other to start until Lesnar takes him into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs. A way too early RKO attempt is countered and we get three German suplexes in the first two minutes. Lesnar hits three more before sending Orton outside for a slam onto the announcers’ table. A throw off the barricade sends Orton through the table as this has been one sided so far. JBL talks about the OVW class these two came out of and says Brock has beaten everyone out of that class save for Orton. Again, no JBL, he hasn’t (never beat Batista on TV, beat Orton in a nothing match).

Lesnar goes to the other table but gets caught in a quick RKO. The DDT off the barricade knocks him even sillier but Orton spends too much time loading up the Punt and gets caught in an F5 for two. Lesnar takes the gloves off and hammers away with punches and elbows. Brock finally gets up and Orton is GUSHING blood. The doctor comes in but Lesnar shoves him away and keeps pounding away as the fans chant for Goldberg. They actually call the match at 12:42 and we’re done.

Rating: C+. I’m not sure how to grade this one. If this ended due to a legit injury and they couldn’t stop the blood then that’s perfectly fine and I completely get it. If this was the planned ending, my goodness what are they thinking? After a show this long, you don’t give us a thirteen minute main event with Lesnar winning AGAIN, especially in such dominant fashion. It’s just stupid booking and serves no one but people who think Lesnar is interesting for reasons I’ll never understand.

Post match Lesnar stays at it until Shane McMahon comes out…..and takes an F5 to end the show. They can’t possibly be setting this up for Wrestlemania, right? Like, there’s no way they’re that stupid. SOMEONE TELL ME THEY’RE REALLY NOT DOING SOMETHING THAT INCREDIBLY STUPID!

Overall Rating: B. So as you might not know, I write up a lot of the overall rating before the show ends for the sake of time and occasionally adjust it accordingly. In this case, the show dropped all the way from an A- to a B on that ending angle alone. We’ve spent HOW LONG watching Brock tear through people and be the most dominant thing ever to set up a match against SHANE FREAKING MCMAHON of all people? And for what? To continue this Raw vs. Smackdown feud?

I was thrilled when Shane came back because he was full of energy and all that jazz, but then he gets to have a thirty minute match with Undertaker at Wrestlemania where he kicked out of multiple finishers and now he might get TO FIGHT BROCK LESNAR??? Are you serious? At what point does Shane become more annoying than Stephanie with all this catering to him because he’s a McMahon? I can’t believe I’m saying this but I think we passed it months ago.

Now, on to the stuff before WWE lost its mind.

I’d like to point out that they had three matches on a two hour pre-show, nine matches on a four hour pay per view, cut a match out and STILL ran over. At what point do you look at a show and realize that you need to trim things down a bit? Apparently not here but at least it’s better than what they did at Wrestlemania.

Speaking of Wrestlemania, this felt a lot more like a Wrestlemania card than this year’s Wrestlemania did. There was a great match, a return, new champions and less questionable booking (It should be noted that during the show, news broke that Sasha was injured which completely explains the loss. Oh and save for LESNAR VS. SHANE AGAIN) than the biggest show of the year. If this was trimmed down by about half an hour to an hour, it’s a classic. As it is, it’s just very good and that’s a great sign for them going forward.

Results

Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens b. Enzo Amore/Big Cass – Codebreaker to Amore

Charlotte b. Sasha Banks – Rollup

Miz b. Apollo Crews – Skull Crushing Finale

AJ Styles b. John Cena – Phenomenal Forearm

Anderson and Gallows b. New Day via DQ when Big E. interfered

Dean Ambrose b. Dolph Ziggler – Dirty Deeds

Nikki Bella/Alexa Bliss/Natalya b. Carmella/Becky Lynch/Naomi – TKO to Carmella

Finn Balor b. Seth Rollins – Coup de Grace

Brock Lesnar b. Randy Orton via TKO when Orton was busted open

 

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New Column: I’ll Die Before I Dishonor Brooklyn By Going Back To Takeover Summerslam

Three previews in one, meaning my fingers are rather tired.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-ill-die-before-i-dishonor-brooklyn-by-going-back-to-takeover-summerslam/