Let me put it this way: we left over an hour early because it was so boring and we were so sick of being there. Never in my life have I seen such a disaster in one place and it can be summed up in a few major issues.
1. TOO MANY PEOPLE. This was the most packed Axxess session of the week and a lot of that is due to them cutting it down to three sessions on Saturday to make room for an hour in between. If that’s the case, they need to add the fourth back immediately as there were too many people in this mess to possibly have any real fun.
2. Find a better way to organize it. The problem here is there’s no way of knowing who is where because the only schedule you get is on the WWE about three minutes before the session starts. The lineups change (more on that in a second) at the halfway point, or at 4pm in our case. The new schedule was unveiled at 3:57pm. How in the world is that the best they can do?
3. Bad lineup. Here’s the list of people advertised for the four hour session:
Sheamus
Sasha Banks
Dolph Ziggler
AJ Styles
Jim Duggan
Kane
Cesaro
Jake Roberts
Michelle McCool
There were a few other names, including Ted DiBiase inside the Elimination Chamber. Now here’s the list of people who were actually in the second half.
Ascension
Becky Lynch
Summer Rae
Sgt. Slaughter
Cody Rhodes
Mandy
Tyler Breeze
Cesaro
Darren Young (inside the Chamber replacing DiBiase)
King Barrett
David Otunga (replacing AJ Styles)
Jim Duggan
Look at that second list and tell me who you would stand in line for two hours to see. Cesaro maybe? Perhaps King Barrett? There were actually people who were walking out of lines when they found out about the switch because, simply put, would you stand in line to meet David Otunga?
What this show needed was some groups of wrestlers to meet. Like say the League of Nations (Or at least three of them as Alberto Del Rio was a VIP guest. New Day and Edge are regular guests tomorrow, but ALBERTO DEL RIO is a VIP guest?) or the Social Outcasts or three or four NXT stars (yes stars, as the NXT people we had were Mandy (hasn’t debuted yet), Peyton Royce and Billie Kaye. Yeah there was an NXT show going on (which you couldn’t get near unless you were there at the beginning) and apparently wrestling a few minutes kept you from being able to sign autographs.
The whole thing felt like a job we had to get through instead of something we got to do. I get the idea that you need to make as much money as you can, but I have a major issue with what you’re getting at an event like this. I shouldn’t only be able to meet one person in that span of time. There is no way that should happen and it’s really not acceptable.
Like I said, put a group of people at the end of a line or something like that or have some better names (I’m sorry but I don’t care to sit around waiting to meet Michelle McCool, Darren Young or Candace Michelle.) available. WWE has an army of talent and that’s really the best they can get out there?
Two years ago the legends booth was the Wild Samoans/Lanny Poffo and then Ricky Steamboat/Paul Orndorff. This year I believe one booth (the NXT booth) had more than one person as a guest. Yeah these people might be at multiple sessions but so what? Oh no: they have to sit there and sign autographs for more than two hours at a time. I think they’ll survive.
Now that all being said, there were a few fun moments.
I met Jake Roberts. Uh yeah that’s about it for that. He was very quiet and seemed to want to move the line along quickly. Not rude or anything but really quick.
Linda McMahon of all people was walking around and I got a quick handshake, even though she really seemed to want to get out of there.
I got a hello from Dolph Ziggler as he was on his way to his booth.
There was a cool memorabilia section with all of the statues (Andre, Dusty Rhodes, Bruno Sammartino and Ultimate Warrior) and A LOT of stuff from the Hall of Fame class. Other than that there was some random stuff like a Goldust bodysuit, the Ultimate Warrior’s ring gear from the 1991 Royal Rumble, the Million Dollar Title, an Undertaker costume and Seth Rollins’ white outfit from last year. There was also a collection of really cool posters from each Wrestlemania, along with Brock’s ring gear from the Undertaker match, Eddie’s boots from 2005, Harley Race’s robe from Wrestlemania III and the tights Edge wore at Wrestlemania XVII, along with a bunch of other stuff.
Overall though, this was a VERY bad event because of how much they tried to cram in there without having the first thought of how to organize it. The biggest problem though was probably the lineup. At the end of the day, I need some better options than what I was given and I really shouldn’t have Cesaro and King Barrett as my top choices to wait an hour and a half to see. Just a disorganized mess that felt like a major cash grab instead of anything worth seeing.
Pictures of all the memorabilia and some cool stuff coming later.
Monday Night Raw – March 28, 2016: Go Home, Go Home, GO HOME!
Monday Night Raw Date: March 28, 2016
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton
It’s the final Raw before Wrestlemania and things are almost entirely set in stone. The big question is whether or not anything major happens between now and Sunday, as there’s still time for some big moves before we get into Dallas. There’s always a chance that it could happen but the go home Raw’s have been uneventful at times. Let’s get to it.
Here’s the Undertaker, who Cole calls the greatest of all time, to open things up. He gets right to the point (thankfully) and says that Shane’s blood will be on Vince’s hands, but Vince’s blood may be on Undertaker’s hands. This will NOT be his last Wrestlemania because the Cell is his house.
Cue Shane to say that Undertaker is fighting to not lose while he’s fighting to win. Shane is the agent of change that WWE has needed for a long time and no matter what happens, Shane will crawl down the aisle and stand in the middle of the ring to usher in a new era. Undertaker brings up legacies and Shane comes to the ring to get in his face. This talk doesn’t worry him because Undertaker’s legacy died two years ago at Wrestlemania.
Undertaker doesn’t want to hear about this because Shane has belonged to his father since the day he was born. That sets Shane off for his now standard offensive flurry, which still has no effect. They head outside with Shane escaping a Last Ride through the table and hitting Undertaker in the head (hands) with a monitor. Shane goes to the top for the top rope elbow which barely grazes Undertaker’s arm. However, since the New York fans are the smarkiest of smarky fans in the world, which translates to “we’ll cheer ANYTHING”, it’s called awesome, despite being borderline sad. Shane leaves and Undertaker sits up.
Chris Jericho vs. Zack Ryder
This is fallout from Jericho ripping into Ryder for being a loser on the pre-show. Before the match, here’s AJ Styles to interrupt. AJ still wants to face Jericho at Wrestlemania because that still hasn’t been booked for some reason. Ryder gets in a quick rollup for two to start but Jericho sends him to the floor. Jericho charges into the knees in the corner and Ryder’s middle rope dropkick puts Jericho in the corner. The Broski Boot is blocked by a Walls attempt but AJ starts a chant to make fun of Jericho, setting up a quick small package to give Ryder the pin at 1:55.
Jericho IMMEDIATELY hits a Codebreaker after the match to keep Ryder in his place. We get an old WCW style tantrum and Jericho agrees to the match.
Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch
Non-title and Sasha Banks is on commentary. They trade armdrags to start with Charlotte getting the better of it as we take an early break. Back with Becky running Charlotte over and Sasha getting to her feet. The distraction lets Ric trip Becky, setting up a big boot and Natural Selection to give Charlotte the pin at 6:28. Too much in the break to rate but Becky continues to look weak going into the title match.
Vince is in the back to say that he agrees the Cell is Undertaker’s yard but Shane wants the yard, the house and the whole WWE Universe. Shane comes in to say yell at Vince for thinking he’s the only one that can run Raw. This Sunday, Shane is letting out 40 years of frustration and taking the company from Vince, just like he took it from his dad.
Social Outcasts vs. Kane/Big Show
Barely a match as the Outcasts all come in for the DQ at 32 seconds.
The ring fills up with midcarders in the battle royal for the big brawl. Mark Henry, Kane and Big Show are left alone with Mark taking a double chokeslam. The Outcasts are chokeslammed at the same time.
We look back at Reigns attacking HHH and Stephanie last week.
Here are HHH and Stephanie, the former of which was announced as being on the way to the arena before the break. Stephanie orders all of us to get on our feet and show respect to the champ. HHH talks about how the largest crowd in history will be in Dallas this Sunday to see Reigns fall. It is the dream of every athlete to walk out on that stage and the dream of everyone here in this arena.
However, that’s never going to happen because they just don’t have the ability. Roman Reigns has that ability because he’s a one in a million talent but this Sunday he’s going to lose it all. We get a nice rant about how HHH’s obsession with this business and how it’s lead him to dominate this title for twenty years (not quite). That has allowed him to put on a suit and really run this business, only to have Reigns powerbomb him through that announce table four months ago.
All that did was reignite the fire in him though because maybe people had forgotten who he was. Now it’s time for HHH to become the old Game again and destroy Reigns once and for all. Stephanie screeches for a bit and here’s Reigns to a lot of booing. Thankfully he doesn’t say anything stupid but clears the ring, only to be booed even more.
The thing to remember here is this isn’t a response to what Reigns has been doing for the last month but rather to what he’s been doing for the last year and a half. The fans aren’t going to forget all the stupid promos and illogical booking that we’ve been subjected to. This has been a good final push for Reigns and things could get better in the future but Wrestlemania is looking like a wash at this point.
Stephanie and HHH promise to fix things.
Here’s New Day for a match but first of all they need to plug BootyO’s, the official cereal of Wrestlemania. They also question why the League of Nations doesn’t have their own cereal, with the theory being because it would suck. The fans LOVE New Day here, especially when Big E. praises New York pizza.
Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto Del Rio
Kingston starts fast and sends Del Rio outside for a quick concert. Back in and a charge misses, allowing Del Rio to hit his reverse superplex for two as we take a break. Kingston is still in trouble when we come back with Del Rio getting two more off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. The top rope double stomp misses for Alberto and the SOS gets two. Kofi misses in the corner again and a quick double stomp puts Kofi down. No cover though as Del Rio would rather shout and pose, allowing the armbreaker to be countered into a rollup for the pin at 7:40.
Rating: C-. Not great here as I’m getting tired of this feud. There’s a possibility that the titles have been cut out of the match to make it even less important than it already is, which was something you had to expect at some point. Kofi winning is a nice sign though as he’s really turning back into the version from nine years ago who looked like he could be something very special.
Post match THE COACH, as in Jonathan Coachman from ESPN, makes a surprise appearance to announce that SportsCenter will be covering Wrestlemania all day. He even dances a bit for fun.
We recap the opening brawl.
Roman Reigns is in the back for an interview when the Dudley Boys interrupt. Yeah because two people from NEW YORK are going to get Reigns cheered. HHH comes in for the sneak attack and Reigns is destroyed.
Konor vs. Kalisto
Non-title. Konor gets in an early headlock but Kalisto speeds things up with his kicks, followed by a dropkick to Viktor. A quick springboard Salida Del Sol puts Konor away at 1:49.
Post match Ryback comes out for a staredown.
Here are Heyman and Lesnar for the hard sell. Heyman talks about being the advocate for the baddest beast on the planet today before hyping us on the fact that we’re six days away. This year people have a once in a lifetime chance to see an athlete at the top of his game in Brock Lesnar. That’s why they’ve been looking for the right lunatic to take on Lesnar at Wrestlemania XXXII and Dean Ambrose happens to be smarter than he’s given credit for.
Dean has the opportunity to take some weapons and try to survive a no holds barred street fight against Brock Lesnar, which is the good news for Ambrose. However, the bad news is that he has a no holds barred street fight with BROCK LESNAR. Cue Dean with a wagon, which he fills with various “toys” from under the ring. Why he didn’t have those in there in the first place isn’t clear but he finds the barbed wire baseball bat and the chainsaw. After filling up the wagon, Dean leaves without even looking at Brock.
Paige vs. Emma
This is a preview match for the Total Divas (Paige/Alicia Fox/Brie Bella/Natalya) vs. what seems to be called Team Bad and Blonde (Lana/Naomi/Tamina/Summer Rae/Emma) for Sunday. Emma dropkicks Paige down to start and gets one off the former Emma Sandwich. The THIS IS MY HOUSE clothesline gets two for Paige but the other women get in an argument at ringside, allowing Lana to come in for a cheap shot to give Emma the pin at 2:53.
Post match the Total Divas get beaten down until Eva Marie of all people comes out for the save. The fans boo her almost as bad as Reigns but the rest of the Total Divas don’t seem impressed.
R-Truth comes up to Goldust and says it’s every man for himself in the battle royal. Goldust doesn’t care because they’re not a team.
Snoop Dogg is being inducted into the Hall of Fame.
Sami Zayn/Sin Cara/Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens/Stardust/The Miz
The fans are WAY behind Sami as he starts with Miz. The arm work sets up a tag off to Owens but he tags out to Stardust instead. Off to Ziggler (in a shirt for some reason) to hold Stardust down with a front facelock (notice that they’re being VERY safe this week) before superkicking Miz off the apron to take us to a break.
Back with Sin Cara coming in off the ropes for an elbow to Stardust’s shoulder. The fans chant for Byron Saxton and then JBL as Stardust clotheslines Sin out of the air. Owens makes Stardust tag Miz as the CM Punk chants break out. Sami comes in to draw an OLE chant (at least it’s about the match now) and gets stomped down by Stardust. That’s enough of the heels in control as it’s off to Ziggler for a lukewarm reaction. Miz gets in a cheap shot from the apron as Owens still won’t come in. Ziggler gets stomped down even more and we take a second break.
Back again with Ziggler still in trouble as Miz puts on a chinlock. Now it turns into a NEW DAY ROCKS chant because the “smart” fans are surprised that a go home show doesn’t have the most exciting action. Ziggler sends Stardust into the post and gives Miz the Fameasser, setting up the hot tag to Sami. Everything breaks down and Cara makes a blind tag, allowing Sami to dive onto Owens.
Cara’s high cross body gets two on Stardust but the Swanton hits knees. Sami comes in again but walks into the Skull Crushing Finale which sets off the Parade of Finishers, capped off by a big Cara moonsault to Stardust. Now Owens comes in but the Pop Up Powerbomb is countered with a dropkick. Miz and Stardust want nothing to do with Owens now (makes perfect sense), allowing the tornado DDT and Helluva Kick to put Kevin away at 21:22.
Rating: C-. The match was dull but of course the focus is going to be on the crowd who couldn’t to five minutes without having some big dive or flip to entertain them, meaning we’re stuck with more announcers chants. I liked the basic story they went with here and that’s the best thing about the match. Seeing Sami pin Owens was a great touch too, as I don’t think he ever did that in NXT.
Usos vs. Dudley Boyz and the Divas tag are now on the USA portion of the pre-show. No word on where the battle royal will air.
Here’s the Authority to wrap things up. Stephanie talks about how Reigns is going to fall and promises that there will be no new leadership next week. It’s about time they acknowledged this for a change. HHH doesn’t want to hear about him attacking Reigns from behind because there’s too much at stake. This brings out Reigns for another brawl with Reigns getting the better of it until a bunch of guys (the League, Dudley Boyz and Stardust) come out to pull him off. This brings out some good guys and it’s a big brawl. They’re finally separated but Reigns does a big dive over the ropes to take out the pile to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. It’s a not horrible go home show for a not horribly built Wrestlemania. The crowd had its moments here but it’s pretty obvious that Sunday is going to be interesting and not in the best possible way. There’s some good stuff going on but they better knock it out of the part with everything they’re doing at the pay per view. Other than that, this was your standard go home Raw: not much action, a lot of pushing the pay per view, and little else. Oh and where are the Wyatts? Are they really just stuck in the battle royal? That’s the best they can get?
Results
Zack Ryder b. Chris Jericho – Rollup
Charlotte b. Becky Lynch – Natural Selection
Kane/Big Show b. Social Outcasts via DQ when all four Outcasts were in the ring at once
Kofi Kingston b. Alberto Del Rio – Small package
Kalisto b. Konor – Salida Del Sol
Emma b. Paige – Pin after a kick from Lana
Sami Zayn/Dolph Ziggler/Sin Cara b. Kevin Owens/The Miz/Stardust – Helluva Kick to Owens
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown Date: March 24, 2016
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton
Brock is here for a rare Smackdown appearance so you know we’re getting closer and closer to Wrestlemania. There are two shows left before the biggest show of the year and things are ranging from hot to lukewarm at best so it should be interesting to see which one we get here tonight. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte
Non-title and Becky Lynch is on commentary. We’re not quite ready to go though as Charlotte promises to lead the WOO Revolution over Sasha and Becky in front of a record setting crowd in Dallas. Simple speech but rather efficient. Like any good heel champion, Charlotte is on the floor before anything can happen to her. Back in and Sasha flips her over for two before slapping the champ in the face.
Charlotte comes back with a kick to the face and a neckbreaker, giving us a good old fashioned WOO. We hit the chinlock before a big chop puts Banks down again. A Thesz press gets two on the champ but the double knees in the corner miss. They head outside for a minute and it’s Sasha being whipped into Becky. Charlotte takes her back inside for the Figure Eight, only to be small packaged to give Sasha the surprise pin at 4:56.
Rating: C. Not a great match as they didn’t have time but hopefully the intensity shown here is a good indication of what we’re going to be seeing in Dallas. They’re doing a good job of setting this up as a match where anyone can win, even though I can’t imagine Becky having much of a chance. Good TV match here though and that’s how you build to the big stuff.
Post match Becky gets in the ring for a Bex Plex to both of them, followed by Sasha giving Charlotte a Backstabber.
Here’s New Day for their weekly chat. We’re just ten days away from Wrestlemania XXXII and they’ll be having a match against the League of Nations. The League is so boring that they’re like the going to the DMV of WWE. If they were a Star Wars character, they would be the Jar Jar Binks of WWE. Or if they were another sports star they would be the Michael Jordan of baseball. As usual, this was all about how strong New Day sells the material instead of whatever they’re actually saying.
Kofi Kingston vs. Sheamus
No Del Rio for some reason. Sheamus isn’t playing around here and throws Kofi into the corner for an early stomping. It’s not quite the Unicorn Stampede but Sheamus is hardly trained for such combat. Kofi gets back up for some stomping of his own to send Sheamus to the floor. A big standoff is teased but the power of Francesca II calms things down. Kofi gets tripped off the apron though and we take a break.
Back with Kofi still in trouble and Rusev shouting in some insults. We hit the chinlock with Sheamus clearly calling some spots, one of which seems to be missing a middle rope knee drop. Things get even worse for Sheamus as he misses a charge into the post to start Kofi’s comeback. There’s the Boom Drop and Kofi follows with a flip dive over the top to take out Sheamus again. Back in and Sheamus grabs a suplex slam for two before going for a turnbuckle pad. Rusev offers a distraction so New Day chases him off, only to have Barrett’s distraction set up the Brogue Kick for the pin on Kofi at 10:28.
Rating: C-. Kofi is getting better and better every week, to the point where I could easily see him going up to the main event after the New Day run is over. You have to give the League something before they get to the pay per view though and this was as fine as anything else, especially with them playing up the numbers advantage for the League.
Usos vs. Ascension
Viktor runs Jey over to start and it’s off to Konnor for a chinlock. That goes as far as a first minute chinlock is going to go as Jey fights up and sends Konnor into the corner. Everything breaks down and a double superkick puts Viktor away at 1:37.
Post match the Usos put Viktor through a table.
The Dudley Boyz don’t think much of the Usos as they’re only two time Tag Team Champions. They’ve beaten up Rikishi and they could beat up the Wild Samoans, but here’s Roman Reigns to interrupt. Reigns doesn’t like the way Bubba is disrespecting his family so let’s have a fight tonight.
Long video on Shane vs. Undertaker, the same one from Raw.
Dolph Ziggler/Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens/The Miz
Sami and Miz get things going as we have to hear about the other three guys being added to the Intercontinental Title match for the sake of making it way more of a mess than it needs to be. Sami works on the arm to start (there’s a safe idea) before it’s off to Ziggler for a rollup. Owens: “WE GET IT! YOU WENT TO COLLEGE!” Dolph’s headlock slows things down but Miz puts a knee into his ribs to take over.
Owens comes in and eats a dropkick, only to run away from Zayn. He teases leaving again but this time Miz will have nothing to do with that and grabs Kevin’s arm, allowing Zayn to get in a dive to take them out. Some elbows to the head have Owens in trouble and that’s about it for this dream match. I would say save it for Wrestlemania but apparently we wanted a seven way ladder match including a guy who has won one match in nearly two years. Ziggler comes in and gets stomped in the corner before a catapult puts him on the floor.
We take a break and come back with Ziggler blocking the backsplash with the only counter that people use for that move. The hot tag brings in Sami for his running clotheslines and a high cross body to Miz. The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two as everything breaks down. Owens breaks up the Helluva Kick and a victory roll gets two on Miz. Both guys are down but now it’s time for Owens to walk out, only to have Sin Cara, Zack Ryder and Stardust stop him. Back in and Miz gives Owens a Skull Crushing Finale, setting up a superkick and Helluva Kick for the pin on Miz at 13:57.
Rating: C+. That scene with Ryder, Cara and Stardust coming out to stop Owens from leaving sums up every problem this title match has. If for whatever reason we can’t have Zayn vs. Owens, the best solution is to just add Miz and Ziggler to the mix. I’m not wild on it but it’s as good of a story as we can get. The other three can’t even get into a match on Smackdown and really do come off as people just there for the sake of being there. As usual, if you can eliminate something entirely and tell the same story, they’re really not necessary.
Post match Stardust comes in with the Queen’s Crossbow to Zayn. Ryder and Cara come in for the big brawl and it’s Ryder of all people standing tall.
Recap of Roman Reigns vs. HHH/Stephanie on Raw.
Roman Reigns vs. Bubba Ray Dudley
Reigns comes through the entrance again. Bubba immediately hits the floor to yell at the fans which is why he’s such a great heel. Back in and a Superman Punch sends Ray right back out to the floor. The brawl heads outside and Ray is in even more trouble as Reigns slams him into the table over and over for a DQ at 1:52.
D-Von’s save attempt earns him a Superman Punch and some steps to the shoulder. Reigns spears Bubba for good measure.
Goldust is painting his face in the bathroom when R-Truth comes in to call him partner. They’re still not partners but Goldust denies coming down to help him on Monday. Somehow Truth knows that Goldust sleeps without clothes on so Goldust paints NO on Truth’s forehead. Truth looks in the mirror. “ON! IT’S ON!”
The Lucha Dragons are in the back to talk about how they can leave Wrestlemania with a title each. Cara leaves and Ryback comes in to talk about how much bigger and stronger he is than Kalisto. He can bench press Kalisto with one arm and ate that much weight for breakfast this morning. Ryback deserves the Wrestlemania spotlight and Kalisto can settle for a flashlight. Kalisto says he’ll win and leaves.
Tyler Breeze vs. AJ Styles
AJ starts with his striking sequence to send Breeze outside, setting up a springboard forearm. Breeze, who is announced for the Andre battle royal, knees AJ in the face but his superplex is broken up. Another Phenomenal Forearm is enough to pin Breeze at 2:03.
Here are Brock and Heyman to wrap things up. Heyman cuts off the speech by saying that his name is Paul Heyman and this is your main event of the evening. Brock is going to be your Wrestlemania moment, just like when he conquered the Streak. That still gets people to boo. That brings Heyman to the no holds barred street fight at Wrestlemania, which means Dean can use anything he can get his hands on against BROCK LESNAR.
It can be a chair, a table or a kendo stick but it won’t be enough. Now we have Mick Foley and Terry Funk handing Dean various weapons to use against Lesnar too. To shoot from the hip a bit, the only reason Funk and Foley are still alive is because Heyman’s prayers continue to go unanswered. What Ambrose doesn’t understand is that if Dean can get his hands on something, Brock can get his hands on as well. However, Brock can also get his hands on Dean and that’s just going to end badly.
Heyman invites Dean out to fight right now but he gets the Wyatt Family (minus Harper) instead. Brock seems to like the idea of being surrounded but here’s Dean to interrupt. Lesnar gets in a quick suplex to Rowan as Dean gets in, only to have Strowman take Brock’s head off with a clothesline. Dean’s distraction lets Brock suplex Strowman (first time for that I believe) before beating Lesnar down with the kendo stick. That’s fine with Brock who pops up and gives him an F5 to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling wasn’t great here but this was all about helping to set the stage for Wrestlemania. Things are really starting to shape up for the big night and they’re doing a better job of setting it up than they did last year. There are still some major issues on the pay per view of course but they’re doing what they can to fix some of them as fast as they can. This was a good enough building show and that’s exactly what it needed to be.
Results
Sasha Banks b. Charlotte – Small package
Sheamus b. Kofi Kingston – Brogue Kick
Usos b. Ascension – Double superkick to Viktor
Sami Zayn/Dolph Ziggler b. Kevin Owens/The Miz – Helluva Kick to Miz
Bubba Ray Dudley b. Roman Reigns via DQ when Reigns sent him into the announcers’ table
AJ Styles b. Tyler Breeze – Phenomenal Forearm
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – March 21, 2016: And Then They Hit A Wall
Monday Night Raw Date: March 21, 2016
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton
The march of pain continues for Roman Reigns as we’re in one of the smarkiest towns in the world. There are also less than two weeks until Wrestlemania so this is the time when the really heavy lifting for the show has to be done. It’s going to be rather, shall we say, interesting to see how Reigns is greeted tonight so let’s get to it.
This show is dedicated to Mary Katharine Stewart. I’m actually not sure who that is.
We open with the now traditional long recap of last week’s show. I get the idea of keeping us up to date but cut these things down.
Here’s Stephanie to get things going. Apparently HHH isn’t here tonight and you have 60 seconds to get to the box office for refunds. That absence is of course due to corporate responsibilities and NOT due to Roman Reigns attacking him last week. That’s because Roman Reigns is stupid and opportunistic. How short sighted could he have been last week when he attacked HHH for revenge?
Cue Reigns to some VERY loud booing (expected of course). Stephanie goes into her patented voice but Reigns puts his hand over the mic and says the reason HHH isn’t here is because he knows the beating that would be coming to him. At Wrestlemania, he’s going into HHH and Stephanie’s stadium and taking their title. Stephanie loads up the slap but Reigns blocks it with an ease that far more people should have when Stephanie pulls that arm back. That’s it for Reigns, who again kept it short here. That’s the best thing they could have done here and it worked far better than I was expecting.
Kevin Owens vs. AJ Styles
Non-title and a very smart choice for an opener. Owens takes him to a knee with a headlock but AJ pops up into the dropdown and dropkick. They head to the floor and Owens gets in a hard whip to the barricade as we take a break. Back with AJ fighting out of a chinlock and scoring with an enziguri to put both guys down. The Pele misses and Owens takes his head off with a clothesline. A nice rack neckbreaker gets two for Owens but Owens misses the Cannonball.
AJ comes right back with the AA into a backbreaker for the same. Styles can’t get a top rope hurricanrana though and Owens debuts a frog splash for two. You know, because you debut a huge spot like that and have it get two. We get the ROH style slugout and AJ Peles him down again as we take a break.
Back again with AJ getting two more off his torture rack slam before heading up top. Owens is right there meet him, only to have AJ slip down into a sitout powerbomb with a nasty looking landing for two more. Cue Jericho though, only to have AJ grab the Calf Crusher anyway. That brings Jericho to the apron to break the hold though and Owens gets a rollup for the pin at 19:20.
Rating: B+. This felt like an ROH match and that’s the perfect way to start a show in front of this crowd. AJ losing is the right call and I was nervous that they would go for the 50/50 booking that has plagued them for so long. Thankfully they let these two beat the tar out of each other for a long time and the match worked as a result. Really good match but more importantly it was smart.
Post match Owens grabs the belt and says that everyone is wondering who will be facing him for the title at KO Mania. Cue Dolph Ziggler (DANG IT GET OUT OF HERE!) and Miz to argue with each other until Sami Zayn comes out. Miz calls him the skinny Seth Rogen as Owens leaves. Kevin says he’ll go to the Authority and get a triple threat match set up for the title shot tonight.
Earlier today, Dean Ambrose was in a pub to talk about how far Lesnar was going to have to go to beat him at Wrestlemania. Terry Funk of all people comes in and puts Dean over before giving him a chainsaw. Dean of course turns it on and slices through a table.
Stephanie makes Owens’ triple threat match for later.
We recap Shane returning last month to set up Undertaker vs. Shane. Various legends and Hall of Famers talk about how big it was, including Mick Foley, John Cena, Michael Hayes, Booker T., Chris Jericho, Edge, Steve Austin, Ric Flair and Jerry Lawler. They all think Shane is in over his head. You would think Shawn Michaels would have made an appearance here.
Here’s the League of Nations for a match but first of all we have to see last week’s beatdown of the New Day. This brings out New Day to call the League trash, complete with cards that call them trash. Kofi thinks Rusev has smelly feet and that the three of them would make a better set of kings than Barrett. That brings them to Sheamus, whose parents actually put the word SHAME in his name. Not to worry though because all of this could be cured with a simple bowl of BootyO’s because New Day ROCKS.
Big E. vs. Rusev
Rusev drops straight to the floor at the bell but Big E. throws him back in for the one man Unicorn Stampede. A big stomp has Rusev in trouble as we take an early break. Back with Rusev holding a chinlock before nailing a nice one footed dropkick for two. New Day is out after a beatdown during the break. Cole thinks this could be the most physical match at Wrestlemania because Cole isn’t that bright.
Big E. fights up again with the belly to belly but the Warrior splash hits knees. A Rock Bottom out of the corner drops Rusev for two and the fans are entirely behind New Day. Now the Warrior splash gets two and Woods is back up to start the brawl with the League. The Accolade is broken up with an electric chair but Big E. has to spear Sheamus through the ropes. That allows Kofi to kick Rusev in the head, setting up the Big Ending for the pin on Rusev at 11:03. Big E. gets a good reaction for the win.
Rating: C-. Good enough here but I’m worried that they might change the titles at Wrestlemania based on how many times the League has lost leading up to it. The key thing here though was the smart booking continues as they put out another match that people are going to care about and don’t focus on something they’re going to hate.
The Wyatt Family talks about rebirth and promises Dean Ambrose as a sacrifice tonight.
Here’s Big Show to talk about the Andre Memorial Battle Royal. JBL thinks Show has the best chance to repeat as the winner. Well given that he’s the only one who CAN repeat as the winner, you can’t argue there. Show talks about Andre’s legacy and how Andre was the greatest giant of all time. Last year it meant a lot to him to win the battle royal because he doesn’t win a lot of battle royals (right).
Cue the Social Outcasts to say they’re a combined Cinderella story. Axel says they’re more like Voltron and the Outcasts attack. Show grabs Slater by the throat but gets beaten down until Kane comes out for the save. The Outcasts are dispatched and Show hugs Kane, only to stupidly pose on the ropes, allowing Kane to chokeslam him down.
Stan Hansen Hall of Fame induction announcement. This is another deserved one.
Chris Jericho vs. Fandango
Just get AJ out here to cause the big upset already. Jericho takes over to start of course but stops to yell about how Fandango never beat him at Wrestlemania. Fandango gets in a few shots but misses the top rope legdrop. Cue AJ for a distraction so Fandango can get in a small package for two. Jericho pops back up with the Codebreaker for the pin at 2:10.
AJ comes down for the fight but Jericho bails. Styles says he’s competed all over the world except for one place, giving us a DRAMATIC POINT AT THE SIGN. We get the official challenge for Wrestlemania….which I could have sworn was already made.
Quick line from Mick Foley about how dangerous the Cell is.
Video on Shane’s training for the Cell, including clips from more legends talking about how tough Shane is. They seem to think that Undertaker is going to kill him anyway.
Here’s Kevin Owens to introduce the participants in the triple threat match for the #1 contendership.
Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Zack Ryder
Owens apparently got to hand pick these guys because he never told Stephanie who would be in the match. The announcers bury all three of them by asking why any of them deserve a title shot. Cara starts cleaning house to start as Ryder is sent to the floor. A slingshot ankle scissors gets two on Stardust but Ryder pulls them to the floor. Cue Sami, Ziggler and Miz to stare down Owens as the match is basically forgotten. A huge brawl breaks out and the match is thrown out at 3:40. No rating since so much was spent on Owens but the wrestling wasn’t the point here.
Everyone beats Owens down and DO NOT TELL ME it’s going to be a seven way match at Wrestlemania with three extra goons added in.
We look back at the opening segment.
Stephanie is thinking about leaving when Kevin Owens comes in to complain about what just happened. She gets annoyed at him calling it KOMania and makes a SEVEN WAY LADDER MATCH for the title. BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY ARE BECAUSE THE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE IS A FREAKING JOKE THESE DAYS AND THEY’RE GIVING TITLE SHOTS TO PEOPLE THEY JUST SPENT A WHOLE MATCH BURYING BECAUSE IT’S A STUPID IDEA THAT THEY KEEP DOING EVERY SINGLE YEAR!
Stephanie (of course it’s Stephanie) is leaving and HHH gets out of his car. They go to leave when Reigns appears and attacks HHH as Stephanie won’t stop screaming. Doesn’t she have a pointless ladder match to book?
Natalya vs. Charlotte
Non-title with Becky and Sasha bickering on commentary. Charlotte starts fast but gets knocked to the floor for a hard shot to the head. Back in and Charlotte gets two off a clothesline as the arguing continues. Charlotte hammers away in the corner but gets caught in a sitout powerbomb, setting up the Sharpshooter. A rope is quickly grabbed and Natural Selection puts Natalya away at 4:51.
Rating: D+. Not exactly Roadblock here but at least we got that good looking powerbomb in again. I could have done without the annoying chattering about Irish jokes and bling but that’s how you do commentary these days. The match should be fine assuming they give it time though this was nothing interesting.
We look back at Dean and the chainsaw earlier.
R-Truth vs. Bubba Ray Dudley
Bubba pounds him down to start and asks where Truth’s boy Goldust is. Truth makes a quick comeback and hits a running splash in the corner but D-Von offers a distraction, allowing a big boot to put Truth away at 2:10.
Goldust comes out for a failed save so here are the Usos for the real save. The Usos load up a table but Bubba breaks it up.
Here’s Vince to talk about the Cell and what might happen if Shane somehow pulls off a miracle. We look back at last week’s ending segment with Undertaker destroying Shane. Vince agrees with what Shane said about Undertaker last week because if Undertaker doesn’t beat Shane, this is his last Wrestlemania. Well…..that’s a bit better I guess.
Dean Ambrose vs. Braun Strowman
Heyman is on commentary. Strowman hammers away to start but gets sent out to the floor, though not off his feet. The suicide dive doesn’t put Braun down and now it’s time for the beating. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Dean fights up and gets a sleeper, which seems to just annoy Braun more than anything else. Ambrose makes another comeback but can’t hit Dirty Deeds. Instead he settles for avoiding a charge to send Braun shoulder first into the post. Dean grabs a chair and starts beating on Braun for the DQ at 6:04.
Rating: D+. This was fine and did exactly what it should have done: showed Dean against a monster and let us see what he can do against him without wasting Braun’s monster aura. The match wasn’t good or anything but that’s what Braun is here for: to look like a big guy who can serve as a warmup for a match against Brock. They got the idea right here and it worked well enough.
Post match Dean hits him with the chair a few more times and scores with Dirty Deeds onto the steel. Some staring at Heyman ends the show.
Overall Rating: C+. They were rolling along and then hit one of the hardest walls I’ve ever seen. I really can’t remember the last time I stopped caring about a show as hard as when they announced that seven man ladder match. Yes it’s going to be a spectacle and yes it’s going to have some big spots, but it goes against every bit of storytelling they’ve had in recent weeks. They don’t have a roster to fill in a battle royal and they have a great story HANDED TO THEM with Zayn vs. Owens, but no let’s go with the big mess because it’s easy and requires less work.
The worst part though is the storyline explanation for this is “Stephanie felt like it.” Nothing more and nothing less. Why should I care about some story they’re putting together or anything for that matter when it continues to come down to “well the Authority wants this”? It’s lazy writing and bad storytelling, which is so much of a plague on this company.
Other than that though, this was actually quite a strong show as they kept things moving and avoided any major issues with the crowd. That was the key thing to the whole show: don’t give the fans a reason or a chance to hijack things and it’s clear that they pulled it off here. Good show overall and a needed show with less than two weeks before Wrestlemania but there were some major holes.
Results
Kevin Owens b. AJ Styles – Rollup
Big E. b. Rusev – Big Ending
Chris Jericho b. Fandango – Codebreaker
Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Zack Ryder went to a no contest when all three attacked Kevin Owens
Charlotte b. Natalya – Natural Selection
Bubba Ray Dudley b. R-Truth – Big boot
Braun Strowman b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Ambrose used a chair
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Smackdown – March 17, 2016: Why Can’t Raw Do That?
Smackdown Date: March 17, 2016
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Mauro Ranallo, Byron Saxton
This is one of the three final episodes before Wrestlemania XXXII in April and things are….interesting. This past Monday saw the return of Roman Reigns, who showed some of the fire that made him a success near the end of the year. The question now though is how much of that will stick around and how much will be a return to his not so successful form. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Reign returning to attack HHH, resulting in the champ needing six staples to close the gash in his head.
Here’s Reigns, again down the ramp which seems to be his new norm, to open things up. The fans aren’t sure what to think of him to start but says that footage shows what HHH gets for running his mouth. Reigns believes in the big fight, which is what knocked HHH into next week. It’s a good thing that HHH isn’t in the building tonight because Reigns would beat him again just as badly. Not because he wants to you see, but because he can. At Wrestlemania in Dallas, Reigns is going to hold the title over HHH’s body because he can and HHH needs to believe that.
This wasn’t a great promo but above all else it was short. That’s been Roman’s big downfall: they leave him out there for so long that Reigns gets lost because he’s just not that great of a talker. However, showing how strong of a fighter he is on Monday and then having him talk about it here in a three minute speech is the best path they can go with. If they can just avoid him being booed out of the building (remember that the next two Raw’s are in Philadelphia and New York) before Wrestlemania, things will be as good as they can be.
We look back at Chris Jericho splitting up the partnership with AJ Styles and then getting laid out by Styles on Monday (in what was apparently an improvised segment due to the Neville injury).
Styles says the fans can chant for whoever they want because this is WWE. This Monday felt so good….and here’s Kevin Owens. Kevin thinks AJ sounds just like Sami Zayn with all this whining. Maybe they can have their own show on the WWE Network where they hold each other and cry. AJ talks about how Owens is just like Jericho with their insecurity. Owens says the easiest answer would be they’re both from Canada but that’s not what matters. It’s the Intercontinental Title that really matters but AJ thinks it’s more important that they’re having a match tonight (BIG pop for that).
The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler
Ranallo brings up the horribly tired Battle of Ohio idea for this match. Ziggler takes it to the mat for an early front facelock but Miz reverses into a small package. They fight over headlocks because there’s almost nothing left for these two to fight over these days. Ranallo keeps up the lame references by bringing up Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell. Of all the people Trump is associated with and feuding with these days, the best he’s got it Rosie O’Donnell?
Ziggler pulls Miz to the mat again and drops some elbows but gets sent chest first into the buckle as we take a break. Back with Miz getting two off a top rope ax handle and slapping on a body scissors. Ziggler fights up again with his running clotheslines and a neckbreaker, followed by a sunset flip for two. He takes too much time getting up though and it’s time for the Figure Four. Ziggler is quickly in the ropes though and a superkick puts Miz away at 10:40.
Rating: C. These guys are on that dreaded list of people I do not need to see fight ever again. If the Battle of Ohio is really the best thing they can come up with for a quick story then it’s clear that they need to move on with both guys. Hopefully the two of them are in the battle royal instead of squeezed into the Intercontinental Title match as has been rumored as neither is interesting enough for that spot at the moment.
We look at Ryback challenging Kalisto for a US Title match at Wrestlemania.
Kalisto accepted the challenge.
We look back at Mick Foley giving Dean Ambrose the barbed wire baseball bat.
Earlier today, Dean was here in his hometown of Cincinnati and loves every bit of it. Brock Lesnar may have been trained to fight in the UFC but on the streets of this city, every day is Wrestlemania because you fight every day and night. Pressure like that makes diamonds and Brock better be ready because nothing hurts like an education. I love these on location promos as they give things such a sense of importance and realism.
Jackie Moore Hall of Fame video.
Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Goldust
D-Von gets a table out just a few seconds after the bell, drawing a very nice reaction from the crowd. The distraction lets Bubba send Goldust into the buckle a few times, all while calling Goldust a freak. After Bubba shouts about Goldust having face paint just like the Usos, Goldust starts a comeback with right hands, only to run into an elbow to the jaw. Goldust hammers away in the corner and scores with the bulldog for two. A quick D-Von distraction pays off though and Bubba kicks Goldust in the face for the pin at 3:23.
Rating: D. What are you expecting from a match that seems designed to just set up the Usos vs. Dudley Boyz match? Goldust and Bubba Ray Dudley being around in 2016 is some combination of amazing and sad, though the fact that they certainly didn’t embarrass themselves out there is a good sign.
Post match R-Truth comes out for the save but gets beaten down as well. The Usos come out for the real save.
Here’s Charlotte (dressing more like Nikki Bella every day) for a face to face to face meeting with Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks. Charlotte gets right to the point by saying she’s known the two of them (not out here yet) for most of her adult life. They’ve done it all together but she wouldn’t be standing here today if not for the two of them. Becky comes out on her own and Charlotte isn’t sure what to think of it, so here’s Sasha a few seconds later. Well that was kind of pointless. Charlotte: “You finally showed up.” Sasha: “Child please, I am not on your schedule.”
Charlotte brings up their past in NXT and tells a story about calling her dad when she met the two of them. Ric thought they sounded like the Horsemen but Charlotte thought they were the Horsewomen. Over time she started to accept the idea but now she owes Ric an apology because these two could NEVER be the Horsewomen.
That’s enough for Becky, who goes on a rant about how you can call her whatever she wants but at Wrestlemania she’s going to be the one ripping Charlotte’s arm off and becoming Divas Champion. Sasha says sorry boo boos (yes boo boos) but she’s the one who took the NXT Women’s Title from Charlotte and the only one who hasn’t been beaten in WWE. Charlotte watches as Becky and Sasha argue over jewelry but they quickly go after the champ, sending her running off. Another good segment here as I want to see the match more than I did coming in.
Here’s New Day for Kofi Kingston’s match but they’re swinging trash bags. After looking at a video of their beatdown, Woods says they’re fine after that beatdown because they’ve been eating their Bootyo’s. Now some people might think that they couldn’t do anything after a beating like that, which sends Big E. into a perfect 1980s style over the top promo that you see when someone is pretending to be pretending to be a wrestler.
That brings them to the trash bags, which represent a member of the League of Nations each. Each one is punted out of the ring, accompanied by a good imitation of each member. The challenge for a three on two Tag Team Title match is accepted for Wrestlemania, which certainly should be interesting to see.
Kofi Kingston vs. King Barrett
Kofi takes him straight into the corner for a one man Unicorn Stampede, meaning it’s time for a seven man staredown as we take a way too early break. Back with Kofi firing off the kicks to the legs but getting distracted by the League, allowing Barrett to kick him in the face to take over.
We get some clubbing (yes clubbing I say) forearms to the back for two, only to have Kofi come back with a spinning cross body for the same. Winds of Change is countered with a backflip into a DDT (sweet move) but Woods and Del Rio get on the apron. Everything breaks down on the floor and it’s Kofi grabbing a rollup (and trunks) for the pin on Barrett at 7:51.
Rating: C. Another simple match here and it’s amazing to see how easily New Day is slipping into their face role. They haven’t officially turned yet but you know it’s going to come the night after Wrestlemania at the very latest. Kofi is so smooth in the ring and I’d love to see him get a strong singles run after New Day breaks up one day.
Dean is in a bar and talks how much you grow up here. You start thinking about the fights you’ve won and the fights you’ve lost, but above all else you start thinking about fighting for pride. At Wrestlemania, he’s bringing Cincinnati with him and Lesnar better be ready.
Long recap of Vince, Shane and Undertaker from Raw.
The Social Outcasts are sitting on the apron and promise to be the first team to win the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal together. That idea lasts all of three seconds (the amount of time between Dallas saying it and Slater starting to talk) before they argue over who will be winning.
Cue Dean with a kendo stick to hammer all four of them (drawing your required Cincinnati Reds reference), sending the Outcasts running. Dean has heard that Brock is going to be in Boston next week for Smackdown because everyone knew he wasn’t coming to Cincinnati. If Brock is going to be here next week, Dean will be right there with him for the fight that Brock walked away from on Raw. More good stuff here.
AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens
Non-title. We start fast with AJ’s drop down into the dropkick as Lawler makes fun of Ranallo calling everything AJ does phenomenal. The springboard forearm is countered into a gutbuster and the backsplash crushes Styles. We take a break and come back with fighting out of Chinlock City and blocking another backsplash with raised knees. Owens: “Ranallo shut up! I can hear you from here you idiot!”
AJ gets in the running forearm to a seated Owens and sends him outside for a slingshot forearm. Back in and Owens’ package piledriver slam (called a Blue Thunder Bomb by Ranallo, which isn’t exactly what I would call the move) gets two but AJ kicks him in the head. They slug it out with AJ getting the best of it until he misses a spinning backfist and eats a superkick.
The Pop Up Powerbomb is countered and AJ actually torture racks him into a spinning powerbomb for two. I always love seeing a surprise move like that as it keeps you from getting bored with the same stuff over and over. AJ heads up but has to knock Owens off the top, only to have Jericho come out to break up the Phenomenal Forearm. Styles takes WAY too long getting back inside and it’s the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin at 11:43.
Rating: B. This was getting really good until the ending but that worked well too. Styles losing is fine here as Jericho cost him the fall to make sure it wasn’t clean. They’ve done a very good job of making AJ look like a big deal and it’s even better when Owens gets a nice win as well. Really nice main event here and I’d love to see them get more time in a big match later.
Post match Jericho gives AJ a Codebreaker and mocks the AJ STYLES chants to end the show. Jericho continues to nail this heel run like he hasn’t in years.
Overall Rating: B-. YES. This is the kind of show that WWE has been needing for a long time now as it actually felt like they were setting up something special at Wrestlemania. You had nearly every match get a strong build (save for the Cell and they’re messing that enough up on Raw every single week) and now I want to see more of the matches than I did coming in. This might not have been the highest quality show but it was an important one given how horrible the build has been to this point.
Results
Dolph Ziggler b. The Miz – Superkick
Bubba Ray Dudley b. Goldust – Big boot
Kofi Kingston b. King Barrett – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Kevin Owens b. AJ Styles – Pop Up Powerbomb
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Monday Night Raw – March 14, 2016: The Mad Scramble
Monday Night Raw Date: March 14, 2016
Location: Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
This is one of the final three Raw’s before Wrestlemania and things are starting to get interesting. The question though is what to do with Roman Reigns. It’s pretty clear that the fans don’t want to cheer for him but at some point they either need to change the main event or accept the crowd reactions. Let’s get to it.
Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Rusev/Alberto Del Rio
Woods says there’s no stopping this New Day train and they’ve had a good time celebrating on Twitter. After shilling the cereal box (Kofi: “This is a real thing you can get on WWE.com!”), Big E. talks about having some Kim Kardashian inspired gluteal workout DVDs. Kofi is actually the odd man out here for a change.
The announcers explain the Freebird Rule as Rusev and Big E. shove each other around to start. The fans want Lana but Rusev laughs them off, only to get caught in the abdominal stretch, complete with a quick spanking. There’s the Unicorn Stampede before Big E. throws Woods into Rusev’s face. Rusev kicks him away and brings in Del Rio who suplexes Big E. for two. A Backstabber gets two more before Woods gets kicked in the face as well as we take a break.
Back with Woods caught in Rusev’s bearhug, followed by Del Rio slapping on a chinlock. As usual the League is burning up the mat with this offense. Woods kicks him in the leg and knees Alberto in the face, allowing for the hot tag to Big E. The Warrior Splash gets two and everything breaks down with Woods DDTing Rusev. Del Rio double stomps Big E. to the floor and Rusev kicks Woods in the face for two. Everything breaks down and Kofi goes after Barrett, allowing Woods to roll Rusev up with a handful of trunks for the pin at 13:40.
Rating: C. The match was dull at times but a lot of that is due to the League. New Day is awesome but there’s only so much you can do with a team whose entire gimmick is “we’re from other countries.” You would think this ends things but since this is WWE, the odds are that they’ll keep going a bit longer.
Post match the League destroys New Day for a long time, which would seem to set up another match at Wrestlemania.
Here’s Dean Ambrose with something to say. After seeing the false finish from Roadblock, Ambrose says he’s upset that he isn’t here tonight as the WWE World Champion. One thing is for sure though: HHH is more sore tonight than he’s ever been. That brings Dean to the Road to Wrestlemania but this brings out Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar. Heyman gives Brock a huge introduction but Dean wants Paul to unleash the Beast.
That’s not a good business move though as it would eliminate one of the biggest matches at Wrestlemania. You don’t want to lose the main event of Wrestlemania, because any match that Brock Lesnar is in is the main event. Heyman says he’ll see Dean in twenty nights and leaves but Brock heads towards the ring. Dean pulls out a crowbar and Brock circles the ring, only to wisely leave before getting hit in the head with a steel crowbar.
Ryback vs. Sin Cara
Cara is in black compared to Kalisto’s white with the mask making him look like a cat. Ryback throws him down to start and does the Thesz press, followed by a big backdrop. The squashing continues with a hard clothesline for two before it’s off to the chinlock. Cara low bridges him to the floor and gets in a suicide dive, only to have a dive caught in the Shell Shock. A second Shell Shock wraps this up at 4:17.
Rating: D+. Total squash but at least they’re finally getting somewhere with Ryback. It’s even better as they’re getting closer to splitting up the Dragons, which has been needed for months now. Hopefully this sets up the title match at Wrestlemania, which is pretty obviously the next step and maybe it can even be a singles match.
Post match Ryback says that’s what happens when a big guy faces a little guy. On top of that though, he’d like a US Title shot at Wrestlemania. Well to be fair, he did just beat Sin Cara. That better make him the #1 contender.
Here’s a strutting Stephanie McMahon who brings out HHH for some bragging about winning on Saturday. It was so much fun crushing the fans’ hope at Roadblock because everyone has hope. It starts in high school when you’re ready to take over the world but then you get married and get a job where hope kicks in. You hope for a raise or a promotion but when you don’t get it, you’re the last person to be blamed.
Then people like the guy in the front row goes to the bar to drink and blame the authority above them because nothing can ever get better. Then you start hoping for the lottery but then thirty years go by and you might get a watch. By this point everything is falling apart and you wind up in a home drooling on yourself. People like that cheer for Roman Reigns because they hope that he can win overcome the Authority and take the WWE World Title at Wrestlemania. He’s going to fail though, just like all of your lives, because the Authority always wins. This brings out…..Dolph Ziggler?
Dolph gets right to the sucking up to the fans, which Stephanie says is very Cena-esque of him. Stephanie knows Dolph is good but he’s not all that great. He’s never going to quit because he’s tired of the fans being insulted. The people live through Ziggler and Ambrose because they were screwed by the system, the Authority’s system. They tease firing him but HHH says that’s not how this works because the Authority knows Ziggler is beloved.
HHH offers a chance at Ziggler joining the Authority but Dolph would never join forces with a corrupt boss and his stupid wife. There’s the big slap but Ziggler still won’t quit. Stephanie makes Ziggler an offer: if he can win any one match tonight, he can have any match he wants at Wrestlemania (save for the World Title match of course). The match is against HHH, albeit non-title.
Why am I watching Dolph Ziggler get a match against HHH with twenty days to go before Raw? I know Ziggler is still kind of popular but does anyone really think this is the best option they have? Are they that scared of putting Reigns on TV this close to Wrestlemania? You would think they would change things around if that’s how bad it’s gotten but for some reason they seem dead set on having Reigns take the title and get his big glory moment, assuming of course that he actually wins the thing.
Sami Zayn vs. The Miz
Kevin Owens is on commentary of course. Sami sends him to the floor but has to bail out of the big dive. We take a break and come back with Sami fighting out of a double arm crank, only to walk int a DDT for two. Sami starts his comeback with the clotheslines and sends Miz to the floor for the big flip dive. Owens offers a distraction but Miz actually takes him own, allowing Sami to hit the Helluva Kick for the pin at 7:17.
Rating: C-. Way too much of this was in the break but it was much more about storytelling than anything else and at least Miz lost. The Intercontinental Title match has the potential to be a mess, mainly because they seem intent to add Miz to the match despite his lone win being that minute and a half pin on Ziggler a few weeks back.
We look back at the League beating New Day down.
The League wants one more match with New Day at Wrestlemania where it won’t be a comedy.
Naomi/Tamina vs. Alicia Fox/Brie Bella
Lana comes out for an early distraction, allowing Naomi to get in a cheap shot on Alicia. Tamina cranks on her neck but it’s off to Brie for the worst YES Kicks she’s ever done, which is covering a lot of ground. The BRIE MODE knee hits Tamina and a middle rope Bella Buster gets two as Naomi makes the save. Everything breaks down and Lana offers a distraction, allowing Tamina and Naomi to hit a powerslam/neckbreaker combo for the pin on Brie at 2:41.
Alicia goes after Lana but walks into a double superkick.
The Social Outcasts shill for Burger King.
Lana wants the Divas Title when Paige comes in to say Lana hasn’t even had a match yet. If Lana wants a test against a real Diva, Paige would be happy to oblige. This brings in Naomi and Tamina to say Paige shouldn’t run her mouth.
Charlotte talks about how she knew Sasha and Becky before they were Sasha and Becky. She can remember holding Sasha’s hair back before Sasha’s first match because Banks was so nervous. Charlotte can remember Becky being so nervous that she had to be calmed down. Ric is very amused by all this and promises that Charlotte is walking out as champion. This was nice and it’s a good idea to add something personal to the three way. These women have a past and it would be stupid to not go somewhere with it.
Usos vs. Adam Rose/Bo Dallas
The Dudley Boyz are on commentary and talks about not using tables as a crutch. A long string of superkicks put the Outcasts down and the Superfly Splash puts Dallas away at 1:56.
Dean is in the back with his crowbar when Mick Foley comes in. He knows Dean doesn’t have that thing because he loves baseball so why is he doing all this? Dean asks if Foley was afraid when he was on top of that Cell with the Undertaker. Foley: “You mean right here in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania?”
Foley was afraid but he was up there because that’s what he does. Dean: “I’m Dean Ambrose and this is what I do.” Foley is sick of hearing about Suplex City and would love for Dean to do something about it. Therefore, he has a present for Dean. Foley hands Dean a box and leaves, allowing Dean to pull out the baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. Again good stuff, but I hope Foley has something else to do besides this match. Ambrose vs. Lesnar doesn’t need help so why waste what Foley can add here?
Dolph Ziggler vs. HHH
Non-title. Cole says this is HHH’s first match on Raw in nearly three years, which you can add to his list of inaccurate statements that are intended to make him sound smart. Ziggler headlocks him down to start and holds onto it for a good while until HHH gets in an elbow to the jaw. A hard whip puts Ziggler into the barricade and we take a break. Back with HHH working on the arm via an armbar and its flying cousin.
The jumping knee to the face gets two and HHH drops the knee to the head for two more. Ziggler is sent to the floor and into the steps for a big crash as the arm is being destroyed. HHH goes to the middle rope for the sole reason of diving into a raised boot (haven’t seen that stupid spot in a long time) and it’s time for the comeback.
The superkick is blocked but the Pedigree is countered so Ziggler settles for two off the Fameasser. You can hear the crowd getting into this. Ziggler gets two off the running DDT but runs into the spinebuster for no cover, though we do get a spot call. A very quick superkick (the called spot) gets two and HHH goes to the outside for a breather. Back in and the Zig Zag is countered, setting up the Pedigree for the pin at 17:29.
Rating: B-. Better than it should have been, especially for what was little more than a long practice session to get HHH back in ring shape. The problem here is that Ziggler isn’t someone who is going to get interest in a match like this because no matter how you look at it, he’s still Dolph Ziggler. Good match though.
Post match here’s Roman Reigns coming down the aisle for no apparent reason, though threats of death by booing could be a possibility. The booing is there but it’s not as bad as it’s been in the past. Reigns destroys HHH around the ring and beats him into the announcers’ table just like HHH did a few weeks ago. HHH gets knocked along the outside and heads to the technical area. They head to the back where HHH is bleeding from the side of the head. Reigns breaks a TV monitor over his head and some wrestlers finally get him out of there.
Jackie Moore Hall of Fame video.
Goldust is walking through the back (because he’s just there in wrestling gear every week) when he runs into a penguin. Of course it’s R-Truth, but he doesn’t know they’re in Pittsburgh (the Pittsburgh Penguins are a hockey team if that makes no sense). See, when penguins meet their mates, they’re mates for life. Therefore, R-Truth wants Goldust to be his tag partner for life. That’s another no from Goldust. R-Truth: “That’s cold.”
Chris Jericho comes out for his match but first he has to insult the fans for cheering AJ Styles. Last week Jericho had to show AJ who his daddy was because Jericho is the really phenomenal one.
Chris Jericho vs. Neville
Jericho starts fast and sends him out to the floor for a break less than a minute in. Back with Neville hurricanrana Jericho for two but coming up limping. Jericho rolls him up for two before shoving the referee for the DQ at 4:50. No rating due to the commercial of course.
Post match Jericho tells the fans to chant for AJ Styles so here’s AJ with a forearm, now called the Phenomenal Forearm.
Here’s Vince to wrap things up. Vince has his entrance done twice for some reason before talking about how Shane could come out here the night after Wrestlemania and talk about how it’s a new era in WWE. Everything will change because it’s a new reality but that reality is going to be a nightmare. However that’s not going to happen because Vince has the ultimate instrument of destruction named the Undertaker.
After a nearly three minute entrance, Vince tells Undertaker to never put his hands on him again (referencing a few weeks back). Undertaker takes off the hat and coat so Vince apologizes for bringing it up again. Vince knows that Undertaker doesn’t mind doing the devil’s work like ramming Shane McMahon into the steel and leaving his spirit in a pool beneath his feet. Some people call it an unholy alliance but Vince calls it best for business. Cue Shane and his orange shoes to say that he’ll never stop coming at Undertaker no matter how long it takes.
Undertaker grabs the mic and says it still won’t be enough. Undertaker’s legacy, even more than Wrestlemania, is his fists. Shane agrees that Undertaker is a legend but he doesn’t understand why Undertaker is dancing like Vince’s puppet. Undertaker says no one controls him but Shane says Undertaker is being Vince’s…..well I think you know what he said. The fight is on and amazingly enough Shane’s punches have almost no effect. Vince shoves Shane into a chokeslam before running away from Undertaker to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. Well that was something. It’s like they suddenly remembered that Wrestlemania is in less than three weeks but forgot that they haven’t done jack yet. Some of the stuff on there is fine (Brock vs. Dean) and can help fix a lot of the issues so it’s not a total loss, but stuff like HHH vs. Reigns is firmly in car wreck territory. The midcard stuff is better but the two main events are absolute disasters at this point. This show could be one of the biggest disasters in years unless they pull off a miracle (which they could). Right now it really does feel like they’ve run out of ideas and are throwing in whatever they can to make this work, which is almost never a good idea.
Results
New Day b. Rusev/Alberto Del Rio – Rollup with a handful of trunks to Rusev
Ryback b. Sin Cara – Shell Shock
Sami Zayn b. The Miz – Helluva Kick
Tamina/Naomi b. Alicia Fox/Brie Bella – Powerslam/neckbreaker combination to Fox
Usos b. Adam Rose/Bo Dallas – Superfly Splash
HHH b. Dolph Ziggler – Pedigree
Neville b. Chris Jericho via DQ when Jericho shoved the referee
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – March 7, 2016: Going Home For The Show After The Show Before The Show
Monday Night Raw Date: March 7, 2016
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
Now this could be interesting as the company is hardly on a creative roll at the moment and we’re in one of the biggest smark havens in the world. We’re also five days away from Roadblock which suddenly has the potential to change the entire Wrestlemania card with less than a month before the biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Vince vowing to renounce Shane as his son after Wrestlemania. I still have no idea why this is supposed to be interesting or a major plot point as the McMahons are always arguing.
Here’s Shane to get things going. Shane sucks up to the Chicago crowd and it’s clear that they’re excited to see him. He was watching Raw last week and heard what Undertaker was saying about his match. Shane respects Undertaker completely but he wasn’t surprised by what Vine said about him after the fact. Vince has lost touch with both his reality and his grandsons but Shane is ready to stop it all. At Wrestlemania, he stops all the backstage politics and all the authority. Shane is tired of seeing all the talent being held back with no breaks and all the breaks given to people with no talent.
The gong goes off but it’s a strutting Vince instead. Vince laughs at the fans for not being happy to see him so the CM PUNK chants start up. The boss lets it die off and talks about how Stephanie is getting everything. Earlier today Vince was looking at a picture of Shane at his first wrestling show and of course we get to see it on the screen. Vince pulls the actual photo from somewhere and crushes the frame like he’ll do at Wrestlemania.
After Shane loses, Vince will be able to wrap his arms around his grandsons and prove to them that their family isn’t a bunch of losers because his greatest creation is going to destroy his greatest failure. Vince sends out the security but Shane actually beats them up to a HUGE ovation, most of which isn’t deserved.
The segment was better than most of anything we saw last week but I’m still really not sure what the heck they’re fighting about. Thankfully they’ve seemed to drop the whole lockbox concept which wasn’t working to say the least but Shane having a proxy would work better as an idea.
Kevin Owens vs. Neville
Non-title so look for another upset. Owens drives him into the corner to start and stomps away, meaning he survives longer than he did against Neville a few weeks back. Kevin: “Come on mate!” Neville comes back with kicks to send Owens to the floor but misses a dive, allowing Kevin to send him into the steps as we take a break. Back with Neville fighting out of a chinlock, only to be flipped over with a German suplex.
The Cannonball is countered with a nice enziguri to knock Owens to the floor, setting up a great looking shooting star off the top to the outside. The fans REALLY like that one but don’t care as much for the standing shooting star press for two back inside. Neville charges into a boot to the face but rolls away from a springboard moonsault. A superkick sets up the middle rope Phoenix Splash for a very, very close two. Thankfully Neville stays on him but Owens grabs a rollup with the trunks for the pin at 10:25.
Rating: C+. Those high spots from Neville helped carry this, leading us to the more important ending of Owens winning. The cheating helps but I was worried that they would job him AGAIN here to set up something at Wrestlemania. It’s also nice to see Neville getting some prominent spots instead of just in a nothing six man tag.
Post match Owens loads up the apron powerbomb but SAMI ZAYN runs in and cleans house, likely setting up a big Intercontinental Title match at Wrestlemania.
Video from the Rock saying Wrestlemania is free for new WWE Network subscribers.
Long recap of HHH and Ambrose from last week.
Dolph Ziggler and Zack Ryder (with a beard) are in the back when Stephanie comes up. Stephanie thanks Ziggler for taking down a tweet about the Authority earlier today but Dolph mentions taking down the Authority a few years back. Stephanie doesn’t remember that and reminds Ziggler that she’s his boss. As if we could forget as that’s pretty much her whole character. Stephanie likes these flashbacks and gives Ziggler an elimination tag against three members of the League of Nations. Oh and Ziggler won’t have any partners.
Brie Bella vs. Summer Rae
Total Divas match, meaning we get a clip from tomorrow’s show with Nikki telling Brie how to live. Summer takes her down to start but Brie comes right back with the YES Kicks and a horrible looking BRIE MODE knee. Brie misses a middle rope cross body but here’s Lana for a distraction, allowing Summer to grab a rollup for the pin at 2:05. They haven’t used that finish as much lately so it’s not as annoying here.
Post match Lana comes to the ring and gives Brie a Bella Buster for some of her first ever physicality.
Here’s Dean Ambrose to open the second hour. He gets right to the point: this Saturday he’s hijacking the car on the road to Wrestlemania by being HHH to win the title. Dean talks about all the things he’s going to get to do like being on the cover of People Magazine and throwing out the first pitch at baseball games.
After Wrestlemania, HHH is going to have to buy Dean a new suit and lapel pins….which he doesn’t know how to work. Actually Dean isn’t going to do any of these things that come along with being WWE Champion but he loves the idea of being WWE Champion and getting to come out here and fight everyone every single night.
Cue HHH who threatens to beat Ambrose up again. Dean says he’ll take another trip to the announcers’ table and hold that WWE Championship up high. Dean: “When I do that, you can suck it.” HHH calls Roadblock a clever name that marketing came up with because Dean is at best a speed bump or a pothole. Dean wants to fight right now but HHH fights on his own time. As for tonight, Dean gets to face Bray Wyatt. That gives him a preview of Sunday where he learns that the Authority always wins.
Dolph Ziggler vs. League of Nations
Elimination rules with Del Rio as the odd man out. Barrett gets things going with the King pounding away and getting two off the Winds of Change. The knees in the ropes (which are similar to the ones Shane threw earlier tonight) set up the ten forearms from Sheamus, even though Ziggler started to fall down in the ropes. Rusev comes in for a running splash against the ropes for two. At least he isn’t talking about how much he loves Summer or Lana at the time as that feud (which wasn’t as bad as people made it out to be) is best forgotten.
A surprisingly good dropkick gets two for Rusev and it’s back to Barrett for some forearms to the back in the corner. Sheamus comes in and slowly stomps away, followed by the knee to the ribs. Barrett charges into the running DDT and goes shoulder first into the post, setting up a superkick for the first elimination. Sheamus takes a superkick as well but Rusev breaks it up. The Brogue Kick misses but Rusev kicks Ziggler in the head, setting up the Brogue for the pin 6:39.
Rating: C-. This could have been much worse as I can live with Ziggler getting one pin, especially since the League didn’t have to make an immediate save given how the rules were set up. The League is good as the enforcers for the Authority and roles like this but I’m not sure how much longer they can survive given how they’ve been treated lately.
We look back at Shane and Vince from earlier.
Video on Shane McMahon’s in-ring career.
Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks bicker about who would have won last week.
Naomi/Tamina vs. Becky Lynch/Sasha Banks
Can’t they bring up Blue Pants and Deonna Purrazzo instead of making us watch these four again? Charlotte and Ric are at ringside because Flair needs a paycheck this badly. Cole talks about how we’ve seen this match before. At least they’re just acknowledging that their matches are repetitive now. Becky gets thrown into the heel corner to start and a right hand puts her down again. Tamina misses a charge in the corner and it’s off to Sasha as everything breaks down. The Bank Statement (Cole: “THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED TO MCGREGGOR!”) puts Tamina away at 2:00.
Post match Charlotte comes in and beats down the winners.
R-Truth is delivering a pizza to Goldust (who thankfully was just right there when Truth came in) and asks to be his partner again. Goldust says a good partner would know that he was lactose intolerant and slams the pizza down. Mark Henry comes up and takes the pizza.
Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. AJ Styles/Chris Jericho
New Day is defending. Before the match, Big E. wants to talk about the matching tattoos they’ve gotten but apparently only he got the blue and purple unicorn. Of course Big E. was just joking until Jericho cuts him off and saves some face. Jericho and Styles now have Y2AJ shirts. Kofi gets sent to the floor to start and the challengers hit a nice double plancha to take us to an early break.
Back with Jericho in trouble but nailing a dropkick to Big E. An enziguri drops Kingston and there’s the hot tag to AJ. The moonsault reverse DDT hits as close to seamlessly as I’ve ever seen but AJ springboards into the Midnight Hour for two as Chris saves. The Lionsault crushes Kofi and AJ adds the springboard 450 for two with Big E. pulling Kingston to the floor. AJ drops Big E. with a slingshot forearm but misses the backfist to Kofi.
Back to Jericho who counters Trouble in Paradise into the Walls. AJ stops Woods from making the save but gets driven hard into the barricade. Big E. gets back up for the tag so Jericho tries the Walls on him, which doesn’t quite work. Instead Jericho sends Big E. into the post but the Codebreaker is countered into the Big Ending for the clean pin to retain at 11:38.
Rating: B+. They had me a few times in this one and the action after the hot tag to AJ never really stopped. This was more of a showcase for AJ than anything else with the springboards looking as smooth as they have yet in WWE. Jericho getting pinned clean opens up a few doors but I’m not sure where New Day goes at Wrestlemania, unless Bullet Club gets a very fast callup. AJ and Jericho could go various places as well.
Post match AJ and Jericho get an ovation but Jericho turns heel with a Codebreaker to Styles. That might have worked better if Jericho hadn’t just lost clean but at least we get a FOURTH match between these two. I mean, just a thought but maybe you shouldn’t do a (potential) Wrestlemania match three times before Wrestlemania. Jericho gives him two more Codebreakers for good measure before stuffing the Y2AJ shirt in AJ’s mouth.
Back from a break with Jericho complaining about the fans chanting for AJ. They can enjoy it while they can because they won’t be chanting for AJ Styles anymore.
Tyler Breeze vs. Kalisto
Non-title. Breeze blasts him in the face to start as the announcers talk about Jericho. A chinlock doesn’t go very far and it’s the corkscrew cross body into the Salida Del Sol for the pin on Breeze at 2:17.
Big Boss Man Hall of Fame announcement. I’m so happy over this one.
Kalisto is in the back and talks about idolizing people like Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero at Wrestlemania. Cue Ryback to ask why he doesn’t have a Wrestlemania match yet. Kalisto might be one of the best pound for pound wrestlers in WWE today but that’s not what we’re talking about here. Ryback says Kalisto has a mask just like a superhero but that’s not how things work in the real world. Kalisto needs to be the US Champion on his own instead of as one half of the Lucha Dragons. Watch him do this on his own tonight. No match was made here and it felt more like a way to split up the Dragons (thank goodness).
Here are the Social Outcasts to talk about how sad it is that Ryback doesn’t want to be part of a team. He can’t play team dodgeball (like on Heath Slater’s new show Game Night on WWE.com) or be a Ghostbuster, but above all that he can’t be a Social Outcast. Tonight the Axeman cometh, which means they all start making strange noises and chopping the air with their hand.
Ryback vs. Curtis Axel
This is joined in progress after a break (because reasons) with Axel getting in his jobber offense until the Thesz press allows Ryback to slam Axel head first into the mat. A CM Punk style running knee in the corner (complete with a Go To Sleep motion) sends Axel to the floor but an Outcasts distraction lets Axel get in a cheap shot for two. Just like last week, Ryback pounds him down into near unconsciousness, setting up the Shell Shock for the pin at 2:08. Again, no reason for this to go to a break before the match.
We recap the opening again.
Stephanie comes in to see Vince and asks what happens if Shane wins.
Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt
Bray still has nothing to do at Wrestlemania but he does talk about conquering the conqueror this Saturday. Tonight he’ll use Dean as an example. No Family with Bray this week. Some early elbows put Bray in trouble and Dean cranks on both legs at the same time. Dean drives in even more elbows to Bray’s head in the corner until Bray runs him over with the cross body as we take a break.
Back with Bray suplexing Dean to keep control before taking him outside for a double clothesline. They get back in with Dean hammering away and trying the rebound lariat, only to have Bray take Dean’s head off because he’s smart enough to figure out that Dean is doing the exact same thing he always does. Dean knocks him out to the floor but the suicide dive is countered into Sister Abigail. That’s countered as well so Bray Rock Bottoms him onto the barricade. Back in again and Dean scores with the rebound lariat followed by the top rope elbow, only to have the Wyatts come in for the DQ at 11:50.
Rating: C+. I was digging this one until the ending that you kind of had to know was coming. At least they didn’t have either of them doing a clean job here as I was kind of expecting them to. Bray countering the rebound lariat was a nice touch too because wrestlers being smart is always cool to see. Good main event though it’s more of a storytelling device than anything else.
Post match the Wyatts destroy Dean until HHH comes out. Bray stares at HHH and even touches the title (fans: “YES!”) before the Family leaves. HHH loads up the announcers’ table but walks into Dirty Deeds. Dean holds up the title to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. While still not a very good show, this was WAY better than what they did last week. It’s amazing how much better a show is when you have anything besides Stephanie reminding us (AGAIN) that she’s the most amazing thing since that time Randy Savage woke up Hulk Hogan with a top rope elbow because Hogan only Hulked Up from finishers. The problem here though is that this Wrestlemania really isn’t very strong and there’s only so much they can do to build that up, especially with the lack of people actually appearing.
I can’t imagine anything big happens at Roadblock but maybe they’ll throw in a big (and possibly much needed) curve ball. That being said, the idea of Reigns not appearing until Wrestlemania (as Raw is in Pittsburgh, Philadelphia and Brooklyn before then) might not be out of the question either. It really is a weird build to Wrestlemania and I’m not sure what’s going to happen before we get there. In this case though, I’m not liking that feeling.
Results
Kevin Owens b. Neville – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Summer Rae b. Brie Bella – Rollup
League of Nations b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick
Becky Lynch/Sasha Banks b. Tamina/Naomi – Bank Statement to Tamina
New Day b. Chris Jericho/AJ Styles – Big Ending to Jericho
Kalisto b. Tyler Breeze – Salida Del Sol
Ryback b. Curtis Axel – Shell Shock
Dean Ambrose b. Bray Wyatt via DQ when the Wyatt Family interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown Date: March 3, 2016
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton
We’re coming off a not great Raw this week and we could be in for another edition of that tonight on Smackdown. It’s always hard to guess what’s going to happen on one of these shows as they’re more wrestling based but if last week is any indication, they’re going to be recap based. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of HHH and Dean Ambrose from Raw which set up the main event of the upcoming Roadblock special.
Here’s a limping Ambrose to open things up. Dean sits down because all the bruises on his body are grouping together into one huge bruise. He isn’t one to have a long term plan because he’s more of a five second guy. Like a few weeks ago when he challenged Brock Lesnar and got sent into the windshield of a car. Then he went after HHH but this time it got him a shot at the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.
Now things get messy because everything is ready for Wrestlemania with Reigns vs. HHH. So what happens when Dean wins the belt? Does he face Reigns or should it be Brock, as in the person he’s already signed to face? Or maybe he fights HHH because of some rematch clause. Why not just throw all four of them in a cage and see what happens? That’s probably their best way out of it actually but I don’t think we’re getting there.
Instead here’s Kevin Owens to interrupt and likely set up the main event. Owens is tired of seeing Ambrose get beaten up and then have so many people wanting to fight him when the Intercontinental Champion can’t get a single challenger. Dean: “You could try being nicer to people.” That gets under Owens’ skin for some reason as he gets inside and says Ambrose is everything wrong with WWE. A fight breaks out and Owens gets hit in the back with a chair. Simple enough but neither guy needs to be doing a job tonight.
Usos vs. Sheamus/Rusev
Sheamus and Jimmy get things going with the pale one pounding the Uso down before quickly handing it off to Rusev. The League pounds him down on the floor and we take an early break. Back with Sheamus in control of Jey and giving him a suplex slam for no cover. There are the ten forearms to the chest from Sheamus, setting up a running knee in the back from Rusev to keep Jey in trouble and knock him out to the floor.
A DDT finally drops Rusev and the hot tag brings in Jimmy. Everything breaks down and Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick and the Usos start diving. Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick which allows Jimmy to superkick him out of the air. Back in and the Superfly Splash hits knees, setting up the Brogue Kick for the pin at 9:45.
Rating: C-. This is a good example of why people are getting tired of the Usos: they haven’t changed up their formula in years and it’s the same match over and over again. Yeah it’s entertaining and still more than watchable but I could go for something different from them. Unfortunately I’m not sure what that is and it’s becoming a problem for them.
Post match here are the Dudley Boyz with a table. The Usos fight them off but get powerbombed instead, albeit not through the table.
We see part of Stephanie speech from Monday.
Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz
The announcers make a big deal about the match on Monday ending in 1:05. Miz punches him down to start and kicks Ziggler in the face for two. Back up and Miz misses a charge in the corner, allowing Ziggler to grab a backslide for the pin at 48 seconds.
R-Truth is in catering when he sees Goldust sitting by himself. Truth tries to make up for it but Goldust wants nothing to do with him. Now Truth is willing to be Goldust’s partner but Goldust thinks it’s going result in a plate of food going into his face. Well Goldust isn’t going to let that happen because he’ll do it to himself first. Goldust: “Who’s the idiot now?” They’ve actually turned this into an interesting story instead of just the same jokes every single week which is quite the surprise.
Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks
Rematch from Raw for the #1 contendership. The fans are split here as a test of strength puts Sasha down for two. With the wrestling not working, Sasha opts to forearm Becky in the face. Both of them try dropkicks and we’ve got a standoff as they’re matching each other step for step so far. This brings out Charlotte and Ric as we take a break. Back with Becky fighting out of a double arm crank and getting two off a t-bone suplex.
The running legdrop misses though and Becky gets caught in a quick Bank Statement. A European uppercut gets two for Becky and frustration is setting in less than ten minutes into the match. They head outside for a double clothesline but Flair starts strutting around them. Well at least he has good taste. Charlotte decks both of them from behind though and it’s a double DQ (thankfully she hit them at the same time so it’s an actual double DQ) at 12:04.
Rating: C. This was another match where you were sitting around waiting on the screwy finish and they did very little to hide it. Also I can kind of go with the idea that Charlotte screwed up like this as her dad never learned a lesson and it makes sense that she wouldn’t either. If nothing else we’re almost guaranteed the triple threat, which is where this should be going in the first place.
Charlotte beats both of them down even more post match.
Renee Young tells Charlotte that it’s a triple threat at Wrestlemania for the title. Ric and Charlotte aren’t pleased.
We recap Undertaker and Vince from Raw. That was so short that they might as well have just shown us the whole thing again. They still really need to tweak that thing too because it’s going to get a lot worse in a hurry otherwise.
Kofi Kingston vs. AJ Styles
This could be really good. Before the match, Kofi and Woods talk about the wonders of the world such as the sun, the moon, or Jello. Kofi: “We can’t explain these things!” Big E.: “Actually Kofi we can. Jello is a mixture of water, flour….” Kofi: “WE CAN’T EXPLAIN THESE THINGS!” Another miracle is that Xavier Woods is such a success despite coming from a town like Hot Trash Lanta. No matter what happens though, they’ll always be the champions.
AJ comes out alone as Jericho is on a promotional tour. Woods and Francesca II offer an early distraction but a rollup gets two for AJ. The drop down into the dropkick get two more for Styles but he makes the mistake of going after Francesca and takes out Woods with a plancha, only to eat a baseball slide from Kofi. Back from a break with AJ in a chinlock, followed by another chinlock to keep him in trouble.
Kofi tries to go up top but dives into a quick release northern lights suplex. I know there isn’t much to break down or analyze here but this has been a solid back and forth match. It’s hard to find stuff to talk about in something that works like this. AJ’s running forearm and fireman’s carry backbreaker get two each. Kofi gets the SOS for two more but Trouble in Paradise misses and the Pele sends Kofi outside. The threat of a trombone assault gets Woods and Big E. ejected, setting up the springboard forearm for the pin on Kingston at 9:57.
Rating: B-. This wasn’t a masterpiece or even a classic but it was two talented wrestlers getting to show off for a little bit. AJ continues to look like a star who was born for the WWE and I’m glad to see him getting a chance to do something like this. Kofi on the other hand continues to be the modern day Tito Santana: he has the resume to look good and can work well with anyone that he gets in the ring against. Good stuff here and that shouldn’t surprise anyone.
AJ bails from New Day in a smart move.
Brock Lesnar vs. Bray Wyatt is official for Roadblock.
The Wyatts talk about the Beast and how he needs to be slayed. Brock may have conquered them all but how do you strike fear in Bray Wyatt?
Freebirds Hall of Fame announcement.
Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose
Non-title and Ambrose is limping badly on his way to the ring. It’s nice to see someone selling around here for a change. Dean tries a shoulder to start but has to stop to hold the injury. Well no one ever suggested that he was the brightest guy. Owens knocks him outside to mess with the bad ribs and gets in a few good kicks as we take a break.
Back with Dean being driven into the corner to break up Dirty Deeds. The backsplash (smart move) gets two and we hit something like a seated abdominal stretch. Kevin throws him to the floor and into the barricade for a nine count, only to be sent right back to the floor. Ambrose does that apron 619 of his and blasts Owens with a clothesline for another long count. Lawler is in full on heel mode here as he cheers for Owens, which really is working for me.
No Jerry isn’t doing anything amazing or groundbreaking but he’s being a jerk and insulting good guys. He isn’t bringing up some European sports competition that goes over 80% of the audience’s heads or trying to sound way smarter than he really is. Instead he’s cheering for villains and calling heroes stupid and it’s working. Why can’t more people get the simple idea that less is more? Back in and Ambrose starts fighting back, including the running clothesline and suicide dive to really bang up the ribs some more.
Back in again and Ambrose gets crotched, setting up the Cannonball for a close two. You can’t fault Owens’ psychology here. Dean fights back again and gets two off the top rope elbow but has another suicide dive countered, this time with his back being driven into the apron. Back in and the Pop Up Powerbomb is countered with a hurricanrana but Dean eats a superkick. The backsplash hits knees and Ranallo describes this as a fight between a dentist and a carpenter. Tooth and nail you see. Dirty Deeds puts Owens away at 14:45.
Rating: B+. I love the match but I really don’t like the booking here. They did every single thing they could have here to make Owens look smart and protect him but at the end of the match he was looking up at the lights after a clean finisher. I’m well aware that the Intercontinental Title means little to WWE but maybe they wouldn’t have this problem of injuries destroying the roster if they had some people who actually were protected and could be slotted into these matches instead. Dean winning is good but no champion should be losing twice in a week with a month before Wrestlemania, period.
Overall Rating: C+. The two good matches helped a lot and the main event was very strong but the important thing here was how they gave us actual stuff. I know it wasn’t anything amazing but at least it wasn’t a Raw clip show like last week’s was. Hopefully they’ll start setting things back on track on Monday but this week was a bit better with a much more standard show.
Results
Sheamus/Rusev b. Usos – Brogue Kick to Jimmy
Dolph Ziggler b. The Miz – Backslide
Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks went to a double DQ when Charlotte interfered
AJ Styles b. Kofi Kingston – Springboard forearm
Dean Ambrose b. Kevin Owens – Dirty Deeds
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – February 29, 2016: We Waited 23 Years For This
Monday Night Raw Date: February 29, 2016
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
It’s the first Raw ever on February 29 and the big story would seem to be Undertaker showing up to address his match with Shane McMahon. Other than that we should get more between HHH and Roman Reigns, assuming Reigns is back from his nose injury at HHH’s hands last week. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of HHH beating Reigns down last week to end the show.
Opening sequence.
Here’s HHH to get things going. HHH talks about how only a handful of us actually have any authority and the rest of us all have an authority figure in their lives. Every single one of us hate it (much like opening Raw with a long promo that isn’t likely to lead anywhere) and want to fight back but we’re all afraid. That fear keeps everything in line but people like Reigns decided to not listen to that fear.
Now Reigns is sitting at home breathing through his mouth and hoping he can still go to Wrestlemania. Cue Ambrose to a nice reaction from the fans as things slow down. Dean just got off the phone with Reigns, who says hi but he’s also coming for HHH. They make some Oscar references to recap Ambrose challenging Lesnar last week and Shane having to fight Undertaker at Wrestlemania.
Ambrose asks who HHH wanted to win the match at Fastlane but the champ brushes it off by saying Dean wasn’t a factor in that match. Dean gets right in HHH’s face and says he’s the last person HHH wants to face at Wrestlemania. The boss finally gets that Dean really is crazy but Ambrose can see it in him: HHH is scared.
HHH thinks that’s the smell of clean clothes and power that Dean isn’t familiar with, which draws a YOU CAN’T BEAT HIM chant. Dean gets right to the point and asks for a title shot but HHH says that shouting RIGHT NOW doesn’t earn you a title shot. He’ll give Dean an answer at the end of the night (with Dean clarifying that HHH means by the end of the show) but first of all, Dean has to fight Alberto Del Rio.
Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks
The winner gets Charlotte (at ringside with Ric Flair) for the title at Wrestlemania. Just get to the double pin now. They start fast with some pinfall reversal sequences and get some near falls each. Neither submission works and we’ve got a stalemate as both of them are trying for their Wrestlemania moment. Not the title or anything, but a Wrestlemania moment.
Becky is sent outside and taken down with a baseball slide, allowing Sasha to send her into the post as we take a break. Back with Sasha driving two knees into Becky’s chest for another near fall as JBL keeps up the line of it all being about going to Wrestlemania. Becky grabs an exploder suplex and stops a charge with a boot to the face. A missile dropkick gets two for Lynch but Sasha is up first and heads up top. Becky is right there though and tries a superplex, only to get countered into a sunset flip. Sasha lays back for no apparent reason and it’s a double pin at 9:54.
Rating: C+. This was much more like the NXT format for a women’s match and it was better as a result. Instead of having them sit around and do chinlocks for three minutes, these two were actually telling a story and making things work far better. The ending was predictable but I’d rather have all three of them in the match instead of just Sasha.
We don’t have a winner and Charlotte is happy.
The Wyatts come on screen with Bray talking about insanity meaning to try something more than once and expecting different results. Well maybe he’s insane then because he wants to save us all. He had an idea which is turning into a plan and can be used to save us all. Run.
Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz
This is over an argument on the pre-show last week over Ziggler asking what Miz has done lately. Let me repeat that. DOLPH ZIGGLER is asking what someone has done lately. Ziggler starts punching away in the corner but gets whipped hard into the corner to set up a rollup…..for the pin at 1:05. Well that’s surprising. Nice but surprising.
Long recap of last week’s opening segment with Shane McMahon returning.
Here’s Stephanie for her acceptance speech for the Vincent J. McMahon Award. We get some classic heel tactics as she asks for the respect that she deserves during her speech. The fans chant for Shane but apparently he’s not here tonight, just like he won’t be here after Wrestlemania. Stephanie holds the trophy like a baby and talks about all the sacrifices she makes, only to be greeted with more WE WANT SHANE chants.
She turns the podium over and goes on a rant about how horrible Shane is and what it means that people cheer for him. Stephanie goes on about how Shane has been gone for years, which proves how little he cares about this whole place. This is a speech you could have said about the Rock before he returned in 2011 with some of the exact same lines.
Apparently it eats Shane alive that Stephanie and Hunter are married and that she has so much power. Shane’s kids can be in charge later on but they’ll have to fight to earn that power. She hits the screeching voice and talks about how we all need to show her respect and bow down to the queen before leaving. To recap: no Shane, no interruption and no one getting anything in on Stephanie as she hypes up…..herself. Oh yeah everything is normal again.
Lucha Dragons vs. Rusev/Sheamus
Of course this is still going. JBL: “The League is like the Four Horsemen. They just need a JJ Dillon.” Cara sunset flips Sheamus for two to start but charges into an Irish Curse. Rusev comes in to crush Cara’s head before Sheamus comes back in for an armbar. I’m not sure on having a power guy like Sheamus using an arm hold. That doesn’t feel right.
Cara comes back with a tornado DDT and the hot tag brings in Kalisto to clean house with his bouncing offense. The hurricanrana driver (minus most of the drive) gets two on Rusev and Cara dives onto Barrett. That earns Cara a Brogue Kick though and Kalisto takes Sheamus down with a flip dive. Back in and Rusev kicks Kalisto in the head for the pin at 5:05.
Rating: D+. You can’t make this stuff up. I mean, as soon as the Dragons came out you knew Kalisto was going to take the pin if his team lost because we need to protect SIN CARA for some reason. I’m really not sure what we’re going with the League as they’re just floating, so yeah of course let one of them pin the US Champion.
Del Rio gives Kalisto the top rope double stomp post match.
Immediately after the match, Cole: “Of course Total Divas airs every Tuesday night on E!” I’m glad they’re not even bothering to hide the fact that the show is more important than the US Title.
Renee Young and Natalya do a commercial for Subway. Eh it’s a big check for WWE for thirty seconds of Raw. It’s hard to complain about something like that.
We recap the opening segment.
Ryback vs. Adam Rose
Before the match, Ryback talks about wanting the spotlight and promises to take it for himself. Ryback throws him around the ring to start but Rose gets in a running kick to the chest for two. Normally I would say there’s no way WWE is going to have Ryback lose a week after a heel turn but you never can tell these days. The Backpack Stunner breaks up a chinlock and Ryback pounds away on the mat until Rose is out cold. The Shell Shock is good for the pin at 2:04.
We recap Brock’s antics last week, including laying out Ambrose and accepting his challenge for Wrestlemania.
New Day vs. AJ Styles/Chris Jericho
Non-title. After a break, New Day says they’re the greatest three man team of all time and will fight anyone who disagrees. They aren’t a loose collection of talents like the League of Nations and are better than any great team like Sonic and Tails, Snoop and Dr. Dre, Edge and Christian or Cheerios and milk. Jericho and Kofi get things going with Chris nailing a nice dropkick. Stereo dives to the champs take us to a break.
Back with Styles in trouble and taking the Unicorn Stampede thanks to some Woods interference. AJ gets dropped onto the barricade and Kofi pulls out a card to show that he has AJ’s number. Back in and the Pele drops Kofi long enough for the hot tag to bring in Jericho. Everything breaks down with Jericho destroying the champs but having to kick out of a rollup. The Lionsault gets two on Kofi with Big E. making the save, only to get taken down by the springboard forearm. Trouble in Paradise is countered into the Walls of Jericho to make Kofi tag at 8:59.
Rating: C. It’s been a bad night for champions. I’m so glad they’re putting Jericho and AJ together for a title program because having AJ face, say, Kevin Owens for the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania and letting them go nuts for fifteen minutes would just be a disaster. Normally I would complain about Jericho and Styles winning like two matches and suddenly being a top team, but that’s the extent of the division these days so it’s not the biggest problem.
Post match Jericho and Styles say they’re officially a thing and want a title shot next week on Raw.
Here’s Vince for a chat before Undertaker comes out. Vince talks about how the stars would have to align to have Shane come out here in charge on Raw the night after Wrestlemania. None of that is going to happen though because only fools believe in miracles. Vince introduces Undertaker and after three more Wrestlemanias have passed, he finally gets down to the ring.
Vince talks about how Undertaker is his destroyer but Undertaker grabs him by the throat. Once that door closes, Shane’s blood is going to be on Vince’s hands, not Undertaker’s. That’s it, after Undertaker might have been in the ring for ninety seconds. Vince isn’t done yet though, as he says Shane has lost his inheritance and is out of his will. All of Vince’s money is now going to Stephanie and Shane is no longer his son.
We look back at the Dudley Boyz beating up the Usos three weeks back.
Jey Uso vs. Bubba Ray Dudley
Jey goes right after him with right hands and drives Bubba up against the ropes for some shoulders to the ribs. A superkick puts Bubba down but D-Von pulls out a table to blast Jimmy in the face. Jey superkicks D-Von but eats a Bubba Bomb for the pin at 2:11.
Goldust comes up to R-Truth in the back but Truth cuts him off to say this isn’t happening. He doesn’t want to see what costume Goldust has or what song he has to sing because he’s done with all this. Goldust walks away sad.
Kevin Owens vs. Big Show
Non-title and a rematch from Smackdown where Owens won by countout. They’re quickly on the floor with Owens hitting a superkick, followed by a tornado DDT off the apron for nine. Show slides back in but has to kick out of the backsplash at two. Owens goes up top but gets crotched, setting up a countout to give Big Show the win at 2:36.
Brie Bella is here and talking about Bryan when Lana of all people interrupts. Lana talks about how she’s a real woman with a real figure while Brie is married to a tiny goat man. A match is actually teased.
Brie Bella vs. Naomi
I’m so glad they teased this. Brie starts in on the arm to start and works on an armbar until Tamina trips her up. Back in and a legdrop gets two for Naomi and we hit the double arm crank. The split legged moonsault misses but Naomi is able to hit the dancing kicks. She misses the big kick to the head though and Brie is able to come back with the YES Kicks. Tamina offers another distraction though and Naomi puts on a crucifix to pull back on Brie’s arms while cranking on the neck for the submission at 4:07.
Rating: D-. They’re just not very good. I really don’t know how else to put it but these women really aren’t very good. Naomi is an athletic freak with no idea how to use her athleticism and Brie…..well she’s…..there’s no other way to put it other than she isn’t a good wrestler. As in she fails at almost every aspect in the ring and it’s getting harder to sit through her matches while she sponges off Bryan’s head.
Lana comes out to shake her head at Brie.
Fabulous Freebirds Hall of Fame video.
We look back at Becky vs. Sasha from earlier.
Sasha and Becky argue in the back until Charlotte comes up to say there’s going to be a rematch on Smackdown. Charlotte makes fun of them for being so excited.
We recap Vince cutting Shane out of his will and saying he won’t be his son anymore. How many times has Vince done that over the years?
Dean Ambrose vs. Alberto Del Rio
Ambrose is all bandaged up so Del Rio sends him out to the floor and into the barricade. Back in and Alberto rams shoulders into the buckle, followed by a DDT for two. The armbreaker over the top rope cranks on the bad arm even more but Dean counters the top rope double stomp. The Backstabber sends Dean outside again and now the double stomp connects from the apron. Dean beats the count back in at nine (because of course he does) so Alberto fires off kicks to the ribs.
Dirty Deeds is broken up but Dean settles for a bulldog and missile dropkick. Back up and Ambrose goes shoulder first into the post, allowing Alberto to hit the corner enziguri. Alberto misses a charge and hits the floor, allowing Dean to dive on all four of them. The referee starts counting but here’s HHH to interrupt. The distraction lets the League sneak in for the DQ at 9:40.
Rating: D+. This was a squash with Dean getting in some hope spots near the end but you knew HHH was going to get involved somehow. I can go for the League as a bunch of goons who do HHH’s bidding instead of being a featured act. It’s a good enough idea but the difference here is there’s a reason to care about someone like Ambrose. Reigns is just a guy who happens to be there and it’s a big part of why this isn’t working.
Post match HHH says Ambrose will never beat the Authority so Dean punches him in the jaw. Ambrose gets in some shots in the corner but eats a Pedigree. HHH says the match is on and leaves, because why have the match now when your opponent is done? Ah, yes, plot convenience. Ambrose crawls over to the mic and says thanks but HHH takes the jacket off and unbuttons his sleeves. HHH comes back and throws Dean to the floor, setting up the required whip over the announcers’ table. Referees come out to break it up and one actually shouts “THIS IS UNPROFESSIONAL!” HHH leaves Dean laying to end the show.
Overall Rating: D-. Save for the last five minutes, this was a disaster. The problem here is simple: I watched last week’s show. For some reason though WWE has decided to just keep showing us the same clips over and over because that’s enough to make us keep watching. The main event scene still has the same problem: Ambrose is someone people can relate to but Reigns is someone who isn’t even on the show but we’re supposed to want to see him fight in the biggest match of the year? The title shot could change things but I’d be stunned if they actually do a title change this close to Wrestlemania.
The rest of the show was horrible though with almost no good matches and the feeling that we’re somewhere in October instead of having less than five weeks before Wrestlemania. The top three matches at Wrestlemania seem to be set in stone and if that’s the case, it’s going to be a very long night in Dallas. There’s still time to shake things up and there’s a reason to hope but good night we could be in for some trouble.
Results
Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks went to a double pin
The Miz b. Dolph Ziggler – Rollup
Rusev/Sheamus b. Lucha Dragons – Kick to Kalisto’s head
Ryback b. Adam Rose – Shell Shock
Chris Jericho/AJ Styles b. New Day – Walls of Jericho to Kingston
Bubba Ray Dudley b. Jey Uso – Bubba Bomb
Big Show b. Kevin Owens via countout
Naomi b. Brie Bella – Crucifix neck crank
Dean Ambrose b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when the League of Nations interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown Date: February 25, 2016
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton
We’re getting close to Wrestlemania in a hurry and things are really starting to change. This past Monday saw the return of Shane McMahon and the announcement of his match against Undertaker of all people inside the Cell at the biggest show of the year. Other than that we have what seems like the face HHH vs. the heel Roman Reigns for the World Title coming up. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the main event of Fastlane and the post match staredown with Reigns vs. HHH.
Here’s HHH for a rare Smackdown appearance to open things up. He gets things going by quoting some Rolling Stones with a little Sympathy for the Devil. HHH talks about how Monday left no doubt in Roman Reigns’ mind about what’s coming for him at Wrestlemania and we see a long clip of the attack on Reigns to end the show.
We see a picture of Reigns after his surgery, which HHH says is a man who has been humbled. You see HHH in a suit right now but make no mistake about it: he is the authority. Everyone wants to rebel and HHH has even been there himself but there’s no point to it. Instead you bow your head and you go to work to do your job. Either accept the authority or let your soul go to waste.
HHH has had to walk over a lot of people to get where he is. Reigns has the sweat part down and HHH knows Roman is good. He saw the blood on Monday, which just leaves the tears. HHH will save those for Wrestlemania when he humbles Roman once and for all because he’s the Game and that’s what he does as the Game, the Cerebral Assassin and the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. This didn’t fix everything but it’s the best promo these guys have done for their match so far.
League of Nations vs. Lucha Dragons/Neville/Dolph Ziggler
Ziggler and Barrett get things going with the King making his first actual in ring appearance in weeks. Everything breaks down less than a minute in with the Dragons diving on Del Rio and Rusev. Alberto kicks them both down as Ziggler DDT’s Barrett, only to get taken down by Sheamus and Rusev as we take a break.
Back with Del Rio giving Ziggler a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Rusev mocks Ziggler’s attempts to tag his partners before bringing Sheamus back in for a suplex. Ziggler comes back with a superkick (of course) and Lawler is suddenly a League fan. The hot tag brings in Neville to clean house with a running clothesline and a basement dropkick to Barrett before heading up top. Sheamus tries to make a save so Neville dives over him with a 450 for a near fall. The Dragons take out Rusev as Neville hits a Red Arrow on Barrett. Del Rio makes the save but eats a superkick, followed by the Brogue Kick to put Neville away at 8:22.
Rating: C+. I liked this because they didn’t bother stretching the match out for the sake of stretching it out. That’s something you see so often on Raw and it makes matches feel longer and longer every single week. This was just as long as it needed to be and didn’t feel like it was missing anything they would have done in a match five minutes longer. Good little match here and it’s nice to see Barrett back in the ring.
Kevin Owens talks about seeing Dean Ambrose take a beating on Monday and then come back to face Brock Lesnar again. It inspired him so much that Ambrose deserves an Intercontinental Title shot. However, Ambrose isn’t here tonight so that’s just too bad. There’s no one left for Owens to beat so he has the night off, which brings in Big Show. Owens makes some retirement jokes until Show grabs him by the shirt and threatens to KO KO.
D-Von Dudley vs. Jimmy Uso
Before the match, Bubba goes on his same rant about not being a nostalgia act because they’re the nine time WWE Tag Team Champions. D-Von promises that they’ll be doing whatever they have to do to prove that they’re the greatest tag team of all time whether you like it or not. Jimmy starts fast with a series of kicks before going up top. Bubba distracts the referee with a table though, allowing him to shove Jimmy off the top. D-Von gets a rollup for the pin at 53 seconds in a storyline segment.
Long recap of Shane McMahon returning on Monday.
Undertaker will be on Raw to address everything.
Chris Jericho talks to AJ Styles about being being partners and potentially Tag Team Champions. They need a third man for a six man tag against New Day later, so here’s Mark Henry to say he’d love to teach those three clowns a lesson.
Godfather Hall of Fame announcement.
Video of Ryback walking out on his partners on Monday, saying it was time for things to be about him.
Big Show vs. Kevin Owens
Non-title. Owens goes right after him to start and is promptly knocked into the corner. A shot to the throat puts Show down and the backsplash gets two. The near fall ticks Show off and he chops away in the corner, sending Owens out to the floor for a breather. Back in and a chokeslam sends Kevin right back to the floor. For some reason Show goes up, only to get crotched out to the floor for a countout at 3:05.
Rating: C. I liked this far better than I was expecting as they actually packed some good intensity into a short match. Show can work quite well in a role like this instead of being in main events over and over. It’s also nice to see Owens winning again instead of losing matches to schnooks like Dolph Ziggler.
Natalya vs. Becky Lynch
They shake hands to start and Natalya takes her down with a headlock. Becky fights up with a dropkick but she misses the spinning legdrop. A suplex sends Becky outside but here are Naomi and Tamina to lay Natalya out for the DQ at 1:58.
Sasha Banks runs out for the save and the villains are cleared out. Cue Charlotte to laugh about Becky vs. Sasha for the #1 contendership taking place on Monday. She’ll be in the front row and wishes both of them the best of luck.
R-Truth vs. Heath Slater
Before the match, Goldust comes out to stand in a neutral corner despite the GOLDEN TRUTH chants. They start with some basic stuff until Truth puts the brakes on and thrusts his hips. Some forearms give Truth the first advantage but Slater comes back with a running knee. Truth gets pulled to the mat by the hair, only to catch Slater with a jumping side kick to the head. Dallas offers a quick distraction but Goldust punches Slater into a backslide to give Truth the pin at 3:10.
Rating: D. Nothing to see here but I’m still hoping they don’t go with Golden Truth. There’s a better story with Truth rejecting him and Goldust not reacting well instead of “yeah sure let’s just be a team.” The segments have been fun but the story doesn’t do much for me if it’s the same thing Goldust did back in 2002.
Post match Truth still doesn’t want help but is a bit nicer about it.
Video on Brock and Ambrose from Raw.
New Day vs. Mark Henry/AJ Styles/Chris Jericho
Before the match, New Day rips on the League of Nations a bit more but then switches over to Y2AJ. As for tonight though, Kofi is stunned that Mark Henry still thinks he’s the World’s Strongest Man. They jump back to insulting Jericho and Styles, who will never be the WWE Tag Team Champions (dance time) because NEW DAY ROCKS.
Big E. shoulders Jericho down to start but it’s quickly off to Henry for a staredown. Some headbutts stagger Big E. and a shoulder puts him down. Henry clotheslines Woods and Kingston out to the floor and his partners add dives. The heroes dance (nice to see AJ getting to show some personality) and we take a break.
Back with Jericho chopping Woods to draw some screams. AJ hits a backbreaker and brings Jericho in again for the springboard dropkick. The distraction lets Big E. take over though as he drops Jericho face first onto the buckle for two. The Unicorn Stampede sets up some tromboning and we get a dance from Big E. Saxton: “When Big E. dances it looks like a penguin in a hula hoop contest.”
Kofi puts Jericho in a chinlock and avoids a dropkick to keep Chris in trouble. Big E.’s Warrior Splash and a Woods legdrop get two, followed by the abdominal stretch. The Big Ending doesn’t work though and Jericho makes the tag to Styles as everything speeds up. The moonsault into the reverse DDT (still botched a bit but it was closer this time) drops Woods and everything breaks down. Trouble in Paradise hits Henry but Jericho takes a bullet for AJ in a nice moment of friendship. AJ grabs the Calf Crusher to make Woods tap at 11:19.
Rating: C-. Standard six man Smackdown main event here but it was little more than a way to set up Jericho and Styles as a regular team. Henry could have been anyone else here and the story would have been the same. AJ and Jericho were the stars here and it’s pretty clear that we’re going to see the two of them getting a shot at the belts in Dallas.
Overall Rating: C-. This was far more about the video packages than anything else and you can almost guarantee that is the norm going into Wrestlemania season. The wrestling was nothing to see here but we got some decent storyline development. Above all else it’s nice to see the stories flow from Raw to Smackdown and then back to Raw instead of Raw, then Smackdown as bonus material before we get back to Monday. Not a good show or anything here but it got some stuff done.
Results
League of Nations b. Lucha Dragons/Neville/Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick to Neville
D-Von Dudley b. Jimmy Uso – Rollup
Kevin Owens b. Big Show via countout
Natalya b. Becky Lynch via DQ when Tamina and Naomi interfered
R-Truth b. Heath Slater – Backslide
AJ Styles/Chris Jericho/Mark Henry b. New Day – Calf Crusher to Woods
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at: