Smackdown
Date: January 13, 2012
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

Another Friday, another Smackdown. The main event tonight is Show vs. Bryan again, but this time it’s no DQ and no countout. They’re stacking the deck against Bryan, but that means he’ll probably escape with the title as that’s how most of these matches work on these big TV shows. Should be interesting though. Let’s get to it.

They do the thing where the show starts with what seems like a promo.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is Perez Hilton, who WWE.com says will be refereeing a match on Raw.

Lillian opens the show by bringing out Daniel Bryan. The fans don’t seem thrilled to see him. He’s being booed now but it’s not full blown yet. Once he talks about Big Show and defeating him last week it is though. Bryan says the fans on the message rooms and chatrooms (seriously?) because those people saying that he goaded Henry into doing that are wrong.

Bryan calls for Henry’s suspension for ruining the match and here’s Henry in the flesh. He yells at Bryan and says he had a meeting with Teddy as well. Due to Bryan goading him, he’s banned from ringside tonight. Bryan says that’s good so Henry calls him Tiny Tim. If Henry stays out of it tonight, he gets a shot next week.

Kofi says don’t try this at home, school or anywhere.

Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater

This is due to Gabriel making the save last week after Slater attacked Hornswoggle. They speed things up to start as Booker says Slater is just some guidance away from being something special. Gabriel kicks him in the face to take over but walks into a neckbreaker for two. Slater goes up but Horny’s music hits. The distraction lets Gabriel knock him down so that the 450 can get Gabriel the win at 2:46.

Bryan is warming up when AJ comes up. She’s proud of him and says she loves him. She leaves and Bryan seems pleased.

The Rumble Moment is from 1998 with Austin winning his first.

Here’s Cody to make fun of the people in Laredo only speaking Spanish. He wants to remind everyone that he’s been IC Champion for five months, which is cinco if the people are confused. He lists off some names he’s been champion longer than. Cody says he’s going to pull an Ultimate Warrior (which could mean a lot of things. His words, not mine) but he means being a double champion. He officially announces that he’s in the Rumble.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody takes over to start and Cole gets into it with Booker in possibly record time. Rhodes stomps him down and Josh does his usual job of getting us back on track by asking Booker what his thoughts are on Cody’s plans to be a double champion. Booker says good luck and it’s back to him vs. Cole. Total squash as the Beautiful Disaster and Cross Rhodes end this at 2:15.

You still shouldn’t try this at home.

Edge’s HOF video.

Santino is giving Teddy some new match ideas. A cage match with a giant cage with a medium cage inside and a small cage inside of that. Santino’s next idea is to go back and reverse Jack Tunney’s decision about allowing reptiles at ringside. Teddy has no idea what he’s talking about so Otunga pops up. They talk about the Rumble and David is here to get the names of the Smackdown guys in the Rumble. This turns into Santino vs. Otunga later. They leave and someone knocks. Teddy thinks it’s Aksana but it’s McIntyre. Teddy says he’s getting close to being fired so win tonight. Drew tries to talk but gets thrown out.

Drew McIntyre vs. Ted DiBiase

Hunico and Camaco on the BICYCLE OF DEATH come out pre match. Drew hits a very fast big boot for two. Hunico jumps in on commentary as Drew is knocked to the floor where DiBiase hits a nice suicide dive. Drew takes over again and I think Camacho is on commentary as well. Hunico says DiBiase should have one of his parties in the barrio. DiBiase comes back with the following clothesline for two. Ted jumps into a punch which gets two for McIntyre. Camacho says Hunico saved his life in the barrio which is why Camacho hangs out with him. Drew gets crotched on the top and Dream Street ends this at 3:46.

Rating: D+. Nothing here but the main idea was to have Hunico and Camacho further the story with Ted which is fine. Not a great match or anything but it did its job and that’s all it needed to do. I’m still amazed at how far Drew has fallen since he was so dominant for so long. It really goes to show you what getting beaten up by a blonde in a hotel room can do to your career.

Video on Wade Barrett’s career accomplishments thus far.

Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal says something we can’t understand but apparently it translates to he’s going to win the Rumble. Sheamus pounds him into the corner, beating him like a stepchild as he’s done in almost all of their matches. He loads up the Cross but Jinder rolls to the floor. Slingshot shoulder gets two. There are the forearms in the ropes but Mahal gets in an elbow to escape. A jumping knee to the face gets one. Neckbreaker gets two and there’s the chinlock. Sheamus powers out of it and now hits the forearms. Top rope shoulder puts Jinder down and the Brogue Kick ends this at 3:53.

Rating: D+. For the life of me I do not understand what they want to do with Mahal. They had him run through jobbers to start, then they had him come back against DiBiase now they have him get built up for a bit but Sheamus beats him about 4 times in about 15 minutes combined. I don’t get it. This was just a step above a squash.

The referee is talking to Show in the back. Show says he knows the rules and everything is cool. Cue AJ who comes up to Show’s nipples. She’s worried about Daniel but Show says he’s not out to hurt Daniel. Bryan pops up and accuses Show of trying to steal his girl. Show says the title has changed Bryan and he’s not sure if it’s for the better. After tonight, that won’t be a problem. Show leaves and Bryan asks AJ if Show intimidated her. AJ says no and Bryan says he won’t let anything happen to her.

Don’t be a bully.

Another Rumble Moment: HHH wins in 2002.

Santino Marella vs. David Otunga

I don’t see the string of short matches being broken here. They go to the mat quickly with Santino being in control. Otunga takes him down and yells a lot but gets rolled up for two. An elbow drop gets two for David. Santino comes back with his usual stuff but the Cobra is blocked. Otunga grabs him into a fireman’s carry but tilts him down, driving him into kind of a reverse Emerald Flowsion. Imagine the same style move but starting in a Samoan Drop position instead of a powerslam position. Either way it gets the pin at 2:12.

The Horsemen are going to the HOF.

Still don’t try this at home. They’re drilling this into us tonight. Not a bad thing but they’re saying it a lot.

Raw ReBound eats up some time. Ryder isn’t severely hurt. Thank goodness.

IT’S FUNKASAURUS TIME!!!

Brodus Clay vs. Tyson Kidd

He gets the same entrance as on Raw, and the biggest thing he’s got going for him: he’s giving this everything he’s got. That sentence took longer than the match. Cross body and we’re done in 12 seconds. Literally, that’s it. You can’t say he’s forgettable.

Teddy is dancing to Clay’s song when Aksana comes in. She asks about the show in Vegas next week and Teddy implies stuff happening there. She wants to go to the roulette tables so she can hit on black. That chokes Teddy up but he says he’s fine.

Video on Santino, who is apparently tough.

Another Rumble video, this time on Shawn.

Tamina vs. Natalya

Natalya starts fast with a slap and suplex for two. Samoan drop, Superfly Splash, pin at 56 seconds. WHY DO THEY BOTHER WITH THESE THINGS???

As Tamina is leaving, Barrett comes out. I don’t think they’re related though. He says he’s not impressed by Sheamus, that he’ll win the Rumble, and God save the Queen. And that’s it. Ok then.

Same Kofi promo from earlier. That’s 4 times tonight.

Sheamus vs. Barrett next week, along with Henry’s title shot.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan

No DQ and no countout here with Henry getting the winner next week. AJ comes out too and my goodness she looks good. Bryan offers a handshake but Show gorilla presses him instead. There are the chops in the corner and a big toss. Bryan can sell quite well. Bryan gets in a few kicks in the corner but as he goes up, Show spears him out of the air and Bryan falls to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Show putting Bryan on the table and slapping him hard. Bryan manages to get a chair and hit about ten shots. Show shrugs them off and gets the chair. Bryan looks TERRIFIED. Show is smiling and the fans are cheering for him. Bryan manages to knock him off the apron and hit a few more shots but Show knocks it away again like it’s nothing. Back in the ring more kicks don’t do much to Show. A DDT onto the chair gets two and a power kickout from Show. Show slaps Bryan’s chest and takes over again.

Chokeslam is countered and Bryan hits a chop block. Back to the chair but Show punches it back, sending it partially into Bryan’s face. They go outside and Show sets up the announce table. Bryan breaks up the chokeslam and hits about 4 more chair shots, bringing the total up to around 20. He tries the running knee off the apron but jumps into a chop. Bryan runs and Show accidentally runs over AJ. The match is stopped and we’re done at roughly 8:15 shown of roughly 11:45.

Rating: C-. I liked the idea here, but at the end of the day we got the point about halfway through this: Bryan can’t hurt Show no matter what he does to him. After we established that, they basically did the same thing over and over again. It wasn’t a bad match, but it was repetitive. That’s what I was kind of worried about when this feud started.

AJ goes out on a stretcher. Show looks like he’s about to cry. It didn’t look like there was a ton of contact but the size difference makes up for it I guess. Bryan rips into Show, yelling about how the title isn’t worth this and calls Show a bastard. But did Show’s mama say so? Show is distraught to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. One thing Smackdown is really good at: they cover A LOT of stuff in one show. There were 8 matches, and yes most of them were really short, but it’s an old school style as it allows them to cover a bunch of stories in one show. With the Rumble coming up, most of the roster is only really going to be able to say that they’re going to win the Rumble and that’s about it. The PPV will be about four matches long so most of the people have no reason to get into major stories, which is fine. Good show, but the short matches got a bit annoying.

Results
Justin Gabriel b. Heath Slater – 450 Splash
Cody Rhodes b. Ezekiel Jackson – Cross Rhodes
Ted DiBiase b. Drew McIntyre – Dream Street
Sheamus b. Jinder Mahal – Brogue Kick
David Otunga b. Santino Marella – Over the shoulder piledriver
Brodus Clay b. Tyson Kidd – Cross body
Tamina b. Natalya – Superfly Splash
Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan went to a no contest

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NXT
Date: November 2, 2011
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: William Regal, Jack Korpela

We’re approaching a full term pregnancy here as we’re in I think week 35 or so. Darren Young can come back from suspension next week but I don’t think he’ll be returning. The show seems like it’s trying to come back to the way things used to be but it’s really not working. It was a lot better when there were random matches going on instead of ones like there used to be. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the proposal and acceptance from last week with Bateman and Maxine. It’s as stupid as it sounds, complete with a bad love song playing in the background.

Here’s JTG to open the show. He brings out Bateman and Maxine, who wears a lot of REALLY not-PG outfits. Maxine insists the name is BetaMax. I give up. Bateman says he wants to do this right, so he drops to his knee and gives her a ring which is “what 38 weeks of being an NXT Rookie can buy.” He hasn’t been here 38 weeks but whatever.

This brings out Watson, O’Neil and AJ. They really do look good in the suits. Maxine is fishless, whatever that means. Now we’re talking about Fraggle Rock. No one gets the joke, myself included. Bateman sends them away because this is an engagement party and they’re not invited. The girls get into a “you’re uglier than me” contest so O’Neil implies that Maxine’s father is here to make this formal. Titus pulls out a fish. Regal: “He’s doing that just for the halibut.” There are a ton of fish jokes and that’s the best of them all. Titus starts singing Under the Sea when Striker comes out and makes the six man tag main event.

Usos vs. Tyson Kidd/Johnny Curtis

Hawkins is suspended so Curtis is back on NXT as the sub. The winners of those shows can’t catch a break. Kidd vs. let’s say Jey starts us off. The twins take over on Kidd and Jimmy gets two off an elbow. Jey gets the same off a chop. No Curtis in yet, meaning the collective snoring hasn’t started. Oh there he is. For the life of me I don’t get what they saw in him. He’s so bland and cookie-cutter looking I don’t know how he could get more uninteresting.

Back to Kidd as apparently Curtis isn’t even going to grace us with his presence. Thank goodness for that. If I sound a bit incoherent here, you can blame the slight cold I have or Curtis’ ability to suck all the charisma out of a match. The Usos go up but heel double teaming takes them right back down. We take a break and come back with Curtis working on Jey’s knee which may have been hurt coming off the top.

Kidd comes in again as I guess even Curtis is bored by his own work. Back to Boring Man who hits a slingshot legdrop to Jey’s knee. Here’s a leg lock as this match has somehow only been going about 7 minutes including the break. Jey finally sends Kidd to the floor as as we talk about Killer Kowalski. There’s the tag and everything breaks down. The Usos head to the floor where they launch Kidd into the barricade in a cool looking move. Back inside a Samoan Drop followed by a Superfly Splash ends Curtis at 8:47.

Rating: C-. The tag matches here used to be good but I guess they’re just getting boring to me now. The Curtis factor didn’t help things out here either. The problem at the end of the day is the that the Usos are flat out better than any other team and we can only see these guys fight for the sake of fighting so many times before it loses all meaning. I think we hit that six weeks ago.

Raw ReBound. The Sheamus/Beaker thing still makes me smile. There are some deleted scenes in this.

Kaitlyn and AJ chat about the wedding. Can we just look at Kaitlyn for 50 minutes instead?

Kaitlyn vs. Tamina

Rematch from last week, which isn’t nearly as competitive was Korpela wants you to think it was. Regal makes jokes about having an affair with a dwarf. I don’t have any idea what it has to do with this match but it’s funny. Kaitlyn gets more offense in the first 30 seconds than she had all last week. Korpela calls Tamina’s dad (Jimmy Snuka) a Hall of Flamer. The crowd is dead for this. Tamina hammers away and it’s off to a chinlock.

At least we can look at Kaitlyn in those shorts of hers. Jack tries to say that the Divas Division is awesome right now and I begin to chuckle at him. Kaitlyn hits that old classic attack known as WHAT A MANEUVER (modified Side Effect) for the pin at 5:10. Again, can we just look at her for the rest of the show?

Rating: D+. These matches suck. That’s really all there is to say about it. I know Kaitlyn looks good, but is there really any need to have her wrestle? That’s one of the things that suck the time out of a Raw or Smackdown: the Divas matches. They’re not entertaining and most of the time they suck, yet they get a few minutes a week.

AJ/Percy Watson/Titus O’Neil vs. Derrick Bateman/JTG/Maxine

The Fascinating Fact this week: the black sheep of Maxine’s family is an unsavory bishop from the island of Butte, who owns a combined toilet factory who in his spare time sends full tapes of Shetland ponies to people. I think that was a play on words joke but I’m not sure. The girls start us off and Maxine is ticked off. AJ hits a jumping armdrag and things speed up. Maxine rolls to the floor after a spinwheel kick.

Off to JTG vs. Watson now and the good guys take over. Titus gets two off a clothesline and it’s back to Watson. Regal asks a good question: why do you need to dance about when you can hit someone in the mouth? Bateman hits a dropkick thanks to a Maxine distraction as we’re running out of time in a hurry. Jimmy the Gimmick hooks on a chinlock and then hooks a Regal Cutter of all things. Even Regal points that one out.

The announcers talk about how long this season has been. Even they don’t know when it’s ending. Somehow Regal turns this into a metaphor involving a hamster on a skateboard. You can’t say he’s typical. Off to O’Neil and everything breaks down. Clash of the Titus ends Bateman at 6:35.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match or anything, but this match sums up the problem with this season of NXT: Titus can beat Bateman. I looked it up and in this season, that is the 6th time O’Neil or O’Neil’s team has beaten Bateman or Bateman’s team. What in the world is there left for these two to prove? Nothing, but they keep the season going anyway.

Overall Rating: D+. I just don’t care anymore. When things were all going insane it was fun, but we’re going in circles on this show. Titus and the Usos dominate whoever they face, Bateman does nothing of interest and AJ still doesn’t like Maxine. That’s all we’ve seen for the last two months, but it never goes anywhere at all. I don’t get it, but I’m not WWE I guess. It’s not horrible, but it’s more boring than bad.

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NXT
Date: October 26, 2011
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Jack Korpela, William Regal

We’re past Vengeance now and there are actually signs that some things are starting to wrap up on this show. I can’t say I’d be complaining, as this show is almost the length of a full term pregnancy at this point. Anyway, according to the card that I’ve seen we might have four matches on here which almost has to be a record for this show. Let’s get to it.

At least they’re trying to make it look like this show is still coherent by not changing the opening credits.

We open with Bateman, JTG, Maxine, O’Neil and Watson in the ring. O’Neil makes fun of Maxine and calls her a dolphin or something. It’s time for the Talk the Talk Challenge. Bateman goes first and talks about football and the Cowboys, who are mostly booed. He makes fun of Titus’ trunks. This is pretty weak. Titus says the trunks are for breast cancer awareness because he lost two grandmothers to it. He says he’s awesome and that Bateman won’t stop him from winning this competition. O’Neil wins with ease.

Titus issues a challenge of his own. He and Watson make fun of Maxine and JTG and a brawl breaks out. Two singles matches are made.

Percy Watson vs. JTG

The fans start booing loudly for some reason at the start of the match but nothing has happened yet. Regal buries the talking skills of both guys as Watson takes it to the mat. Watson knocks him to the floor and we take a break with JTG clubbering him. Back with Watson in control again and getting two off some punches. Out to the floor again with JTG hitting a running clothesline that gets two back in the ring.

Off to some choking and we hear that JTG has been in the WWE for about six years. That doesn’t seem possible to me for some reason. It still makes me smile when I think of people saying he was going to be something once Cryme Tyme broke up. Off to a chinlock as Regal keeps burying the challenge. JTG goes up but jumps into a facebuster to put both guys down. Watson takes over and hits a clothesline and the spinning splash for two. The fireman’s carry into the pancake (called the Persecution) ends this at 6:47.

Rating: D+. Technically it was fine but there was nothing to this at all. Percy’s name isn’t doing him any favors as it makes me think of one of the trains from Thomas the Tank Engine from when I was a kid. JTG continues to be boring and the match was nothing to see at all other than just a long squash.

Hawkins is ranting about his injury and Striker comes up with a suspension due to something related to the walkout. No idea what that’s about. Nor do I particularly care.

The Muppets are coming to Raw. I’m going to get bashed for this, but I haven’t been more excited for a show in YEARS. No sarcasm or joke there at all.

Jey Uso vs. Tyson Kidd

Hawkins is with Kidd here for some reason. Regal talks about Kidd spending the past week in Calgary training with Bret on a rolling Indian Deathlock. Cool sounding move. Uso takes over quickly and puts Kidd in the Tree of Woe for two. Kidd comes back as we compare Harts vs. Samoans. Korpela brings up a good question: if Hawkins is suspended, why is he at ringside?

Tyson hammers away and hooks a chinlock. Regal says he’s the darling of Twitter. My goodness it’s nice to not hear about trending topics for once. Alley-Us doesn’t work so Jey kicks him in the face instead. The Superfly Splash hits knees though and a spinning fisherman’s neckbreaker ends this at 4:33.

Rating: C. Pretty decent match from guys that are actually good in the ring when they get to be in it. Kidd is a good guy to push as the NXT Champion when it finally is introduced. Nothing too bad here and it’s fun to see two young guys out there getting a chance to have some fun. More time would have helped though, but it is just NXT.

Tatsu makes the save from a post match beatdown. We’re waiting on the six man I guess.

Ad for Cena vs. Rock which really is going to be huge. I know that’s a really obvious statement but it’s starting to sink in just how big this match is.

Raw ReBound eats up a few minutes. The announcement would have been a bit better if it hadn’t been told to us at the end of Vengeance.

Rock will make his decision on Raw.

AJ and Kaitlyn talk in the back. Kaitlyn talks about how she’s going to destroy Tamina. Tamina pops up behind her and Kaitlyn knows she’s there. This is stupid but that goes without saying.

Kaitlyn vs. Tamina

Kaitlyn is the hometown girl. Not that we’re told that but I guess it’s implied. Tamina hits a superkick to kill Kaitlyn for two. Tamina beats her down as this is a very dull Divas match so far. That covers a lot of ground too. Tamina goes for a fireman’s carry and Kaitlyn gets her only move of the match with a sunset flip for the pin at 2:58. This was as boring as it sounds.

Derrick Bateman vs. Titus O’Neil

AJ is on commentary because….eh who cares she’s cute. AJ lists off reasons why Maxine isn’t nice, including she’s wicked. I want AJ to call me wicked. Maxine sits in on commentary as well. The girls get into an argument of course and Regal says go ahead and fight. AJ: “Fun fact about Maxine: she feeds off the souls of babies.” Maxine suggests AJ was caught between a midget leprechaun and a large black man in pink underwear that barks like a dog in some very non-PG positions.

Bateman slides to the floor to talk to Maxine and then hits a big dive on Titus when he comes out to see him. Bateman hammers away back in the ring and it’s off to a chinlock. This is all about the commentary and to be fair it’s far more interesting. Regal talks about the match and he’s just outnumbered. The couple’s name is BetaMax. I give up. O’Neil misses something from the ropes and Bateman rolls him up for the pin at 4:40.

Rating: D. The match sucked but the commentary was hilarious. I love shows like these where the announcers know no one important is listening and can have some fun on the commentary. That’s what NXT is good at and it’s far better than listening to Cole talking about Twitter 100 times an hour.

Post match, Bateman proposes to Maxine (Regal: “I think I might start self-harming.”) and gets slapped. Then he gets kissed. O’Neil covering AJ’s eyes on the floor is pretty funny. Maxine says yes. There’s your main angle for three weeks. They hug and Maxine looks like she’s in big trouble.

Overall Rating: C-. If there was a rating between this and D+ it would get that. It’s not really bad but there’s nothing to see here. Again it’s playing out like a low level old school indy company. That’s a fun thing to see because they know they’ve got nothing to lose so why not just have fun out there? That’s a great attitude to have and when you stop taking things so seriously in wrestling, you can have a much more entertaining show at times. This wasn’t their best, but I like watching this show for that laid back feeling to it.

Results
Titus O’Neil won the Talk the Talk Challenge
Percy Watson b. JTG – Persecution
Tyson Kidd b. Jey Uso – Spinning Fisherman’s Neckbreaker
Kaitlyn b. Tamina – Sunset Flip
Derrick Bateman b. Titus O’Neil – Rolling Cradle

 

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NXT
Date: October 19, 2011
Location: Mexican Sports Palace, Mexico City, Mexico
Commentators: Jack Korpela, William Regal

Obviously we’re in Mexico now and we only have two people left. The Young suspension may be a blessing in disguise as it might give them an opening to round out this season after the thirty two weeks they’ve had so far. After last week there aren’t any major loose ends that need to be tied up so maybe there’s a means to an end now. Let’s get to it.

We start in the ring….WITH A CHALLENGE??? Striker has a rope and there are flags around the ring ropes (not the one Striker is holding). It’s a capture the flag challenge. There are only O’Neil and Bateman left. This is worth 15 points to really make sure we make the rest of the challenges before this worthless by comparison. They both have on weightlifting belts and there’s a rope attached on their backs. Whoever can get the most flags wins. And after about 15 seconds Bateman jumps Titus and leaves him laying. Titus wins and the main event tonight is Titus/Percy vs. Bateman and whoever Bateman picks.

Tyler Reks vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Hawkins is limping to the rings with Reks. Reks and Hawkins complain about the injury and Reks sounds nothing like his looks would make you expect. Reks overpowers him to start so Tatsu chops away. Yoshi snaps off a spinwheel kick to take over so Reks, being a modern WWE heel, hides. Reks takes over again and the fans don’t seem all that impressed by him.

An O’Connor Roll doesn’t work for Tatsu and Reks works on the back a bit. Tatsu responds by hitting a big kick to the head…and never mind as Reks beats him down all over again. Yoshi dodges a charge and Reks’ shoulder hits the post. That allows Tatsu to go up top for the spinwheel kick and the pin at 4:33.

Rating: C-. Not much of a match here but it was fine. This was very basic as they were keeping things simple, primarily due to there only being about 4 and a half minutes to work with. Tatsu’s new look hasn’t meant much of anything, but at least he’s not talking about an action figure anymore.

Post match Reks and Hawkins beat down Tatsu but the Usos make the save. I smell a 6 man.

AJ has a note in the back when Kaitlyn comes in. It’s from Horny and he says leaving is the best decision he ever made. Kaitlyn says it’s from Maxine. Kaitlyn, who looks a lot worse with light blonde hair, fights Maxine next.

Kaitlyn vs. Maxine

Both of them look good but Kaitlyn looks better with darker hair. She has great legs though. Maxine is in essence in a swimsuit. Here’s your Maxine fact: her aunt is a careless maiden from Guadalajara who is engaged to a one legged Elvis impersonator who does a great version of Blue Suede Shoes. The match is your usual basic stuff here that isn’t very good.

Maxine hooks something like a dragon sleeper but Kaitlyn falls into the ropes. The fans here do not care at all. All Maxine so far but I’d rather look at Kaitlyn in gold so I’m not paying attention to the match here. Kaitlyn takes over with her horrible looking offense. She hits a Bubba Bomb and then a full nelson with her legs to make Maxine tap (with her foot) out at 4:48.

Rating: D. It’s your usual bad Divas match and more proof that AJ was the best choice for the 3rd season winner. Kaitlyn looks great in tight gold shorts and other than that, she’s about as worthless as anyone else you’re going to find on the roster. Not much here overall and the girls just aren’t that good. Granted this is on NXT so it’s not like anyone is watching them.

Video on how insane Raw has been lately and how its been in chaos, even dating back to Punk winning the title at MITB. This eats up like five minutes.

Kidd turns down Bateman to be his partner. Maxine comes up to yell at him for not being here. She leaves and JTG comes up to agree to be his partner. Oh my.

Percy Watson/Titus O’Neil vs. JTG/Derrick Bateman

Bateman vs. Watson gets us going and Watson shows off a bit. We go to the mat with a headlock as Regal explains exactly where the arm is supposed to be for it to hurt the most. Leave it to an old villain to know that. There’s a double tag and JTG gets his head kicked off. That was a nice touch because I don’t like JTG. O’Neil has black and pink on for breast cancer awareness. That’s always cool.

The good guys double team JTG for awhile and rule the ring as we take a break. Back with Bateman hammering away on Watson which doesn’t work all that well for him. They head to the floor and Bateman hits a missile dropkick off the apron which gets two back in the ring. Off to JTG again who hammers away a bit more. A spinning neckbreaker gets two. Watson tries to fight back and the fans react to it.

This match has somehow been going on for ten minutes. It’s one of those matches where nothing has been going on at all but it’s been happening if that makes sense. Titus finally gets the hot tag that we know has been coming for awhile now. Bateman breaks up the pin but misses a top rope cross body. Clash of the Titus ends this at 10:41.

Rating: D+. The match was pretty boring but the problem with it is that it summarizes the main problem that these guys are having anymore: there is no reason at all for these matches to take place. If we’re just waiting around for the end of the show and the matches don’t really count towards records or standings or anything, what’s the point? I mean, how many times can O’Neil pin Bateman before it stops meaning anything? I think that’s the question they’re trying to answer.

Overall Rating: C-. Not a horrible show but at the same time it reiterates the same issue I just went into: this show is chasing its own tail. We’re no closer to finding a winner of this competition than we were two months ago and the only thing that has really changed is that Young is gone and that’s not even because of the show but rather him being Wellnessed. Young will be able to return in about two and a half weeks and he’ll probably be brought back and we’ll be right back where we were two weeks ago. Such is the life of NXT I guess.

Results
Yoshi Tatsu b. Tyler Reks – Top Rope Spinwheel Kick
Kaitlyn b. Maxine – Full Nelson Leglock
Titus O’Neil/Percy Watson b. JTG/Derrick Bateman – Clash of the Titus to Bateman

 

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NXT
Date: September 27, 2011
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Jack Korpela, William Regal

Another week here and after the last two weeks I’m assuming that it’s time for the Usos to face JTG and Young in what Gorilla Monsoon would call a main event in any arena in the country except the one we’re in now where it’s a filler match 2 spots down on the card because it’s a pair of teams that not many people care about. Also I’m sure Maxine and Bateman will try to further the split of Horny and AJ because….because….because that’s what bad people on an internet wrestling show do. Let’s get to it.

JTG and Young open the show and I still want to hurt JTG. Regal: “You know I absolutely hate him.” Young calls JTG a tag team specialist and they go over their tag team success here. They talk about winning NXT and then the tag titles but the Usos interrupt. They actually get to talk and no one seems that interested. We get clips of both Uso attacks after the wins by Team Annoying. The Usos talk about the Samoan heritage and how great at tag team stuff the Samoans are. Fan: “SHAD WAS BETTER!” JTG says the Samoans were a joke and gets chased to the floor. The tag match is mentioned.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Jinder Mahal

Yep it’s officially the minor league show and not about a competition anymore. Yoshi’s music doesn’t really fit with the new look. Regal says he was at Mahal’s christening 25 years ago and was rivals with Mahal’s dad. We hear about how Yoshi was squashed by Mahal about two months ago and got some teeth knocked out in the process. I remember that match and if this isn’t better than that one, that says a lot.

Yoshi takes over with a headlock but a suplex gets Mahal out of trouble. A chinlock eats up a few seconds and Mahal takes over. Korpela: “What would your strategy be if you were Yoshi?” Regal: “Win the match.” You can’t buy this kind of analysis people. Regal follows that up by talking about Mahal’s uncle, the Indian Karaoke Champion: Getupta Singh. Back to the chinlock. A kick by Yoshi gets two. The Indian hits a Samoan on the Japanese but it gets reversed into a crucifix for two.

They go up to the corner and Yoshi blocks a superplex. Tatsu tries a dive as Regal talks about how you have to be a special kind of man to headbutt someone. Yes you do, but it takes a more special man to Coco Butt someone. As Yoshi is getting up he gets caught in the full nelson slam for the pin at 6:07.

Rating: C-. Not too bad but I feel sorry for Mahal. He was getting a fairly decent push on Smackdown or at least the opening stages of one and then that just kind of stopped. That’s another case of someone getting some kind of momentum and then the writers getting bored with him and so much for that. The match wasn’t bad but it’s nothing I’ll remember tomorrow.

Video on the Cell.

And now from that to something completely different as Horny is looking for AJ and has a note for her. Maxine tries to tell him that AJ is with Titus but Horny shushes her. Horny finds Titus and AJ (score one for Maxine) and the note (read by Titus for some reason) is a very poetic letter (it talks about being a boat tethered in a storm and stuff like that), basically saying that Horny is leaving NXT for Smackdown. AJ is sad but uh…isn’t she on Smackdown too? Horny leaves all sad and AJ points out just that: she’s on Smackdown too. I believe that officially eliminates all the remaining Pros.

Percy Watson vs. Tyson Kidd

Regal talks about how Punk winning would mean he has no more worlds left to conquer because he’d be WWE Champion. My face actually scrunched up and I looked up from my computer in a state of confusion over that one. Kidd speeds things up to start but Watson (much better without the glasses and OH YEAH) hits a dropkick for two. Korpela says everyone is talking about Watson’s vertical leap. Today I talked about how the Monopoly game is back at McDonald’s which means the McRib is back soon, but that’s just me.

Back in after a quick bit on the floor and Tyson hooks a chinlock. He shouts to the crowd and they don’t shout back. A belly to back breaks the hold up and both guys are down. Watson hits another dropkick and a clothesline in the corner. A spinning splash gets two as Regal makes fun of JTG a little more. Kidd hits something like a spinning neckbreaker that has a long name including the word moss that I don’t feel like typing and a springboard elbow for the pin at 4:12.

Rating: C. Kidd is getting better and better every week and thankfully he’s regularly appearing on Smackdown because of it. However, I’d like to see him doing something more than just appearing on NXT beating up random former NXT rejects. They need to just turn this into its own independent show and make an NXT Champion already so Kidd can challenge for it.

Mahal says not to talk about Khali because he’s the only one that matters. Most of this isn’t in English so it’s hard to really get what’s going on. I think he says eat more chicken. His eyes are all freaky looking. Tonight he’s returning to greatness.

Usos vs. JTG/Darren Young

Why does no one jump the Usos during that dance thing they do? I mean….it wouldn’t be that hard. JTG vs. let’s say Jimmy (like I can tell them apart) to start us off. I was watching the 88 Great American Bash and turned off Fantastics vs. Midnight Express for this. I have a feeling this isn’t going to be as good. Jimmy hits a northern lights suplex as we’re told that JTG never won a tag title despite being in a (not named) popular tag team.

Korpela talks about how there’s still a competition and says it’s about being the next break out star. There’s no mention of being on Season Six now. I think my blood pressure just dropped down to healthy. I think that’s Jimmy getting beaten down but I don’t particularly care enough to remember which has the chest tattoo. Hot tag brings in Jey who kicks and punches a lot. Young manages to grab a belly to back to Jimmy (I had them wrong) on the apron to shift momentum as we take a break.

Back with JTG coming in to pound on I guess Jimmy. After a long chinlock, Jey breaks up a cover and it’s off to Young. Regal explains the point of the rapid covers that don’t work as he says Young knows it’s not going to get a pin but it’ll drain Jimmy a lot. See, THAT is what an analyst is there for. He knows what he’s talking about because he’s been in there. It’s a lot better than saying someone is in the Fave Five which has about 27 people per week.

Jimmy’s back is worked on and Young sends him into the corner for two. Has anyone ever been pinned off an Irish Whip? Young slaps away at the back and hits a chinlock again, this time with the knee in the back. Maybe he did learn something in Nexus. Regal talks about how Young is working on the back. Korpela: “Good point.” Regal: “I know.” Jimmy breaks up the chinlock but JTG gets a tag to break it up again.

To my great surprise, this hasn’t been a very bad tag match. It’s amazing what random guys can do when they’re thrown out there and allowed some time to develop and get experience isn’t it? Jimmy sends JTG flying with something called an Alley-Us (I’d call it a flip but what do I know?). Either way it gets the tag in to Jey and the lower half of the house is cleaned. He hits the running Umaga smash to the face in the corner which Korpela says is shades of Rikishi and a double superkick sets up the superfly splash to Young for the pin at 11:23.

Rating: B-. I don’t know if it was the total lack of anticipation or expectations, but this was a pretty good match. The hot tag was obvious, but they built it up the whole time and with Regal talking about how good the back work was, I was getting into it a little bit at the end. Keep in mind that this was Usos vs. JTG/Darren Young and you’ll get why that’s a lot harder than it would be in most matches.

Post match the Usos celebrate but Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins run in for an attack. Again, that is almost territory style as you bring in whatever random talent you can find for a quick feud/program with someone else after another program is over.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this tonight because they got a step closer to making this the C show instead of the competition nonsense. Also it means no more Hornswoggle at least here which means maybe that story is over. AJ’s reaction to it made me chuckle too. When you look at this show, there’s the makings of some decent stuff, especially if they gave up on the competition and just let it be its own thing. Not bad here as it gets closer to dropping the NXT nonsense.

Results
Jinder Mahal b. Yoshi Tatsu – Full Nelson Slam
Tyson Kidd b. Percy Watson – Springboard Elbow
Usos b. Darren Young/JTG – Top rope splash to Young