On This Day: December 19, 2010 – Tables Ladders and Chairs 2010: Wade Barrett’s Burial

Tables Ladders and Chairs 2010
Date: December 19, 2010
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler

It’s the all gimmicks all the time show which was fun last year so we have that to hope for at least. The card looks decent and I’d expect a seventh match to pop up on here. The show is kind of predictable in theory though, but it’s nothing I’m worried about. Well I’m out of filler lines and the show is starting so let’s get to it.


Opening video/montage is about Cena vs. Nexus. Never mind as apparently it’s about champions, which makes more sense. The video is getting me hyped up at least so that should be a good sign.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Dolph Ziggler

That’s what I figured would be the opener. Nothing like a hot opener to be, you know, the opener. King says that Vickie isn’t as cute as Bill Dundee in another line that most people won’t get at all. Weird kind of three way brawl to start and we get a LOUD Kofi chant. Ziggler to the floor and Cole and Lawler start chatting about ladder matches which should be interesting.

First ladder brought in by the champion but both challengers shove him off as the champion touches the belt. Sweet dropkick by Kofi takes down Swags. In a smart spot Kofi shoves the ladder down onto Swaggers’ hands/arms as he’s using the ropes to get up. Another ladder in now, also by Ziggles. Swagger has to get his arm looked at as Kofi lands back first on a ladder.

Slingshot from the mat into the ladder draped over the middle rope. It may help if I say Swagger launched Ziggler into it. This is going WAY too fast to call play by play and such. Ziggler hits a Fameasser onto Kofi onto a ladder onto Swagger. Everyone is out so Vickie comes in. Lawler: who does she think she is, Michael Cole? She tries to go up for no adequately explored reason so Kofi starts to tip over the ladder until the heels make the save.

Everyone on the floor now as the fans are WAY behind Kofi still. He goes up the ladder but Swagger grabs the ankle lock. Ziggler climbs up their backs and nearly pulls it off. Ziggler vs. Kofi on top as Jack is down on the floor. Big BOMBS being thrown here. Dolph manages to get the freaking Sleeper on top of the ladder! He fights out and gets a big shot to put Dolph down a bit.

TEST OF STRENGTH on top of the ladder but Kofi shoves Dolph off. Swagger goes up now as this is awesome stuff with incredible balance. Both guys pull down the title….and Ziggler grabs it off the mat to retain. The fans boo the heck out of it but Striker points out you have to have possession of it which while a stretch does actually make logical sense. If nothing else we got to hear Lawler say “he’s clutching it to his bosom.”

Rating: B. This was more of an intellectual ladder match which is something you don’t see. They brought out some leverage and thinking spots which work far better than the usual high spots which we’ll get later on with Morrison. This was much better than I was expecting and sets a very good pace for the show.

Barrett addresses Nexus and we have a tag title match tonight apparently. Cena is a cancer, Nexus is united tonight, you know the drill I’m sure.

Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. Laycool

Quick recap video which is of the table on Friday which didn’t work. No tagging here thank goodness. The pink table with the painting from Friday is brought in as Laycool is down early. Crowd is QUIET here. Lawler says he’s never seen a Diva go through a table. That’s just amusing. Double fireman’s carry by Beth is very impressive. Striker makes an important point: any method of going through the table counts. Also it’s only one Diva required for a win.

Laycool in control now as the fans do not care at all. Beth is on the floor now as Laycool takes over. SICK landing by Beth as her foot gets hooked on a rope and she lands straight on her back/head. That was painful as all goodness, it had to be. Michelle sets for a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) through a table on Nattie but Beth comes back for the save.

Not table for Michelle (“JUST WAIT UNTIL MARK HEARS ABOUT THIS!!!”) as Layla rakes Beth’s eyes. Layla beats on Beth for awhile but can’t suplex her through it. Double gorilla press by the blondes to Layla until Michelle kicks both in the ribs. Beth may have fallen out for a bit. HOLY CRAP!!! Natalya puts Layla on top of Michelle and puts them BOTH in a Sharpshooter at the same time. TAKE THAT BRET!!!

The nice chicks set up the tables but Michelle sends Beth to the floor to make it 2-1 again. They set for a double superplex but Beth saves again. A lot of near finishes in this one indeed. Down goes Beth so they set for it again but they’re shoved off. The table DID NOT BREAK so Natalya is like screw it and splashes them through it to end this.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as bad as you would have thought as Laycool fought them off far better than people would have predicted. It was a good match even but did anyone ever think Laycool had a realistic shot out there? Not a bad match or anything but at the same time it didn’t really get me into the match and it kind of dragged. Still fun though and that Sharpshooter was GREAT.

Ad for WWE Week which is cool indeed.

Kane talks about his childhood sucking but this year he gets toys: tables, ladders and chairs. He beats the tar out of a bunch of Christmas decorations while shouting MERRY CHRISTMAS. Oddly good actually.

Tag Titles: Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov vs. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel

Santino does his usual funny stuff about how awesome he and Kozlov are. McGillicutty and Harris are with the guys in yellow. Santino vs. the homeless South African guy to start as this is a standard match. Surprisingly this is a pretty solid technical showdown to start. Off to the Wendy’s chick/man now with a hot crowd doing a Santino chant. The Cobra is the TLC tonight: Totally Lethal Cobra.

Now the fans like Kozlov. Harris clips him and the evildoers have won the day! Ok so they’re just in control but it sounds more triumphant the other way. Big Wendy’s chant now as we’re still being funny and not getting into TNA territory. Vlad gets beaten down for awhile until he uses his head to get Santino in. Santino raises the roof and cleans a few rooms. Cobra is set up but McGillicutty runs in for the LAME DQ.

Rating: D+. Nothing here at all and Santino is the guy getting hot tags now? Just a quick match but apparently they’re setting up the post match thing which is coming here. Nothing that couldn’t have been done on Raw here, but at least Nexus got their rematch out of the way now.

Nexus beats the champions down with Barrett coming down and killing Santino and Kozlov with a chair which makes sense.

Don’t try this at home. Try it in a place that I haven’t made a joke about a dozen times already.

Sheamus vs. John Morrison

Oh yes. These two have that weird chemistry that guys like Warrior and Rude did: you can’t explain it but it’s definitely there. Lawler will not shut up about Cole costing him the title still. They actually hit the mat almost immediately which is odd indeed. We hit the floor and Sheamus sets up a ladder early. Winner is #1 contender if I forgot to mention that.

Morrison slides under the ladder that is set up between the announce table and the apron. He teases Sheamus to get him to also but the big white dude can’t do it and gets kicked in the head. A fan calls Sheamus Casper which cracks me up. Morrison jumps over part of the crowd to hit a forearm, which is a former AJ move. Into the ring and they fight over a ladder which results in Morrison diving over a ladder to take down Sheamus.

Morrison goes up but isn’t in the right position and down he comes. He gets hung upside down with his leg getting caught and he’s stuck hanging upside down. Sheamus’ solution: shove him forward which could hurt his knee and head as well. Sheamus works the knee as a smart Irishman. The fans seem to be divided here but not equally. I think they’re for Morrison but I’m not sure.

Cole tries to make this tank vs. fighter jet which is a cool analogy. Morrison is somehow able to stand after a beating like that one. That’s quite impressive. After a slam onto a ladder where Morrison’s knee gets caught, Sheamus heads up. He naturally takes too long and here comes Johnny Boy. Sheamus charges at him with a ladder but Morrison gets a drop toehold to send the King’s face into the ladder.

BIG kick puts Sheamus down and we’re getting good now. Irish Curse takes down Morrison again though and he hits the floor. Both guys have ladders so they slug it out with the ladders and Sheamus gets his hand hurt. Morrison’s next step? CHUCK THE LADDER AT SHEAMUS’ HEAD!!! Why mess with the basics I guess. Atomic drop onto the ladder makes Jerry squeak in a loud voice.

Instead of climbing immediately John throws a ladder over the top to crush Sheamus all over again. Hand on the contract but a Brogue Kick to the knee/ladder brings Morrison down to the floor. Sheamus goes up but the contract is flying all over the place. Here comes Morrison but the both go down again. Headscissors sends Sheamus to the floor and here goes Morrison again. ALMOST but Sheamus shoves the ladder down for the save. Sweet stuff so far.

Sheamus backdrops Morrison over the top where he crashes to the floor but luckily he didn’t land on the ladder which is still bridged from the beginning of the match. They fight on the same ladder with their backs to the bridged one. Both guys fall backwards, Morrison to the floor and Sheamus THROUGH THE LADDER. That spot never gets old, period. Morrison is all alone in the ring, other than a ladder that is, but here comes Sheamus somehow! Cole asks if he’s the Terminator and I might believe it. Morrison KICKS HIM IN THE FACE and is the #1 contender, more or less sealing Miz retaining later on.

Rating: A. That’s probably a bit overrated but DANG this was good stuff. The se two have MAD chemistry together and every single one of their matches have been awesome. The announcers say this is Morrison’s best match ever, and I can’t really argue against it. Morrison vs. Miz is going to be sweet stuff at the Rumble indeed. Great match.

Miz says that he’s the new face of the company. Everyone has said he can’t do it and he’s proven everyone wrong. Indeed he has.

Barrett won’t talk to Grisham as it’s powwow time. Nexus is LAID OUT with chairs everywhere and only Harris, who was with Barrett, left standing. I smell a setup.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. Randy Orton

Orton is power walking down to the ring. This is a tables match remember. We get a quick recap video of Miz cashing in which while semi-predictable was still great stuff. Big match intros are always sweet. Orton pounds him down early and we’re off. Miz is in gold trunks, just like Sheamus was. Orton misses a charge and eats buckle as Miz takes over. We get into the Superstar of the Year argument again which goes nowhere.

Orton hits the floor and grabs a table from under the ring as I guess the seven or eight in the aisle aren’t good enough for them. Riley moves the table to save his boss/friend/teacher/dom to his sub. Orton gets his sweet dropkick. Miz gets in a cheap shot and here comes Miz, setting up a table. Orton is sent into the steps and it’s table time all over again.

Miz’s table breaks/falls apart though. Clearly not an awesome table. Miz goes up but Orton rolls off the table which was stupid because he could have won if he hadn’t moved early. Table #3 pulled out by Miz. Even the Artists Formerly Known as the Dudleys say REALLY to that many being brought out by one guy. Running clothesline in the corner has Orton in trouble.

Angle Slam by Orton and he puts Miz on the top. Superplex off the top but Riley again moved the table. There’s the snap powerslam and the elevated DDT. Riley moves the table again so Orton puts him down for fun. Table set up in the middle of the ring and we have an RKO chant. Backbreaker keeps Miz down. Orton sets for the RKO but Riley comes in AGAIN.

Skull Crushing Finale is blocked and we lose a referee. Powerbomb to Riley through the table but there’s the Skull Crushing Finale to Orton. I think I know what’s coming. Yep, Miz moves Riley off the broken table and puts Randy on it. The referee wakes up and Miz retains the title! AWESOME!

Ok wait maybe not as the referee sees the video and we’re on again! Orton hammers away and boy is he ticked off. And never mind as Riley shoves Orton off the apron and through the table to tapdance on the pieces of the broken hearts of the fans while the magic fairies of instant replay were repairing them. AWESOME AGAIN!

Rating: B-. I loved the ending here as it played into the whole Miz defies the odds thing. They also covered that this is fair. It’s probably a bit too highly rated but I had a lot of fun in this one. Also the right guy won as Orton goes back a bit now so we don’t have to deal with him for awhile. I liked it a lot as this whole show has been awesome.

Royal Rumble ad which is about how one person is going on while 29 aren’t. Other than the other guy getting a title match that is.

Off to Alberto and some hot chick in the back near his car. Edge is standing in it and bouncing up and down. He offers an alliance between the three of them to take out Kane. Alberto thinks about it but Edge says no not really as that never works.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Kane vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio

You win by gaining custody of the title. Dang it Rey has the advantage now since he had a custody ladder match before! Rey is dressed….like Gene Simmons of KISS? Really? Entrances take a very long time here. Kane goes straight for Edge as the expected pairings go off together. Striker goes through everyone’s experience in four ways or TLC matches to waste some time.

Alberto shoves Rey off a ladder as Rey jumps onto Kane and Edge, taking them both out with ease. Rey hits a Seated Senton onto the ladder onto Alberto which was cool. The problem with these matches becomes apparent very early as we know the match isn’t ending this early. Chokeslam is countered into an Edgecution by Edge to put the champion down.

Baseball slide to the ladder puts Kane down again, ticking off Cole since it knocked down his Slammies. Alberto and Mysterio kind of disappeared and we have the original title match now. Ah there’s Alberto with all four guys on the floor. Kane rips the legs of a table off which is rather impressive strength. Edge is in the crowd now and not by his own choice.

For some reason he jumps off the barricade to break up a double chokeslam on both Spanish speakers. Everyone but Del Rio combines to put Kane through a table, leaving only Rey to climb the ladder. Running enziguri in the corner has Rey down so Alberto speaks some Spanish. For no apparent reason Del Rio pauses to go get a chair which doesn’t work. Spears for both Del Rio and Rey and Edge climbs up.

Kane is back though and Edge’s balls get a bit too acquainted with the top rope as a result. Out to the floor (again) with Kane killing everyone (Katie Vick anyone?) with a chair. Everyone but Rey is on the stage where Edge spears the champion down. Rey climbs up onto the tables that hang from the ceiling to take down Kane with another seated senton. Everyone else is down so Rey is like screw it and hits the ring but is too small to get the big ladder up, allowing Del Rio to stop him again.

619 for both Edge and Del Rio but Edge stops his with a chair shot. Two ladders go up, one of which Edge couldn’t reach the title from the very top of. Edge and Rey go up the huge ladder but crash down in a painful looking drop. Ricardo tries to get Del Rio up before going up the ladder himself. And never mind as Kane is back. Chokeslam to “Eddie Munster (I love Striker)” and one to Alberto as well.

Edge through a table now as Rey gets rid of the ladders and beats on Kane for a bit. Del Rio somehow stops him from getting up the HUGE ladder and there’s the Cross Armbreaker which Rey taps to, not that it means anything. Striker thinks you can’t climb a ladder with a bad arm. Morrison did it earlier with a bad leg but you can’t do it with a bad arm? And people wonder why teachers get so little respect.

Alberto goes up and gets his hands on the belt but Rey saves by shoving the big ladder over, sending Alberto CRASHING through two tables on the floor. Big old sick spot there. Kane saves again and a Tombstone flattens Rey one more time. The top of Kane’s head is cut a bit. Kane goes up but Edge pops him a few times with a chair. I think our announcers are out. Edge spears Kane off the apron and there he goes and there’s World Title #10. Riveting.

Rating: B. Fun match but it was a step behind what I thought it would have been. This is LIGHT YEARS ahead of what Edge vs. Kane would have been though so that’s a perk. There wasn’t a good pick to win this one really as everyone would be pretty boring. Somehow this is the weakest big match so far, which is saying a lot as it was still good stuff. Good match, but nothing legendary.

And here’s Cody Rhodes. Uh why? Rhodes is straight up ROCKING the suit he’s in. He talks about the jowel (not a typo) which is where the jaw meets the chin or something. He runs down Houston for some cheap heat which is perfectly fine. Houston is the fattest city in America apparently. And here comes Santa with the Bellas. It’s Santa Show this time. Jerry: it looks like Santa got bigger this year. Striker: if I was around the Bellas I’d get bigger too.

Show and the Bellas throw out DVDs which apparently are all of Knucklehead. Not a bad thing for free I guess. Cody makes fun of Show in his underwear on the DVD cover. Show shills the DVD and makes fun of Cody. Cody says Show looks like a vanilla Shrek. Show threatens Cody with being in Knucklehead II. Spinebuster to Cody and the suit gets ripped off. Cody has Sunday written on his underwear.

Cena takes out Harris and says see you out there to Barrett, who was next to Harris when he got cracked by a chair. Cena is a ninja!

And here’s CM Punk, apparently taking over for Striker for the main event.

John Cena vs. Wade Barrett

This is PPV main event number……five for Barrett in his seven months on the main roster. Not that WWE made a new star or anything. BIG reaction for Cena as this is a chairs match. DUELING CHANTS!!!! Barrett hits the floor and Cena cuts him off as the fight is on. There must be twenty chairs at ringside. Barrett gets the first one so instead of picking up another, Cena slowly backs up and tries to keep fighting.

Both guys in the ring with chairs which last a few seconds as we’re back to the slugout. The idea here is that neither guy can get to the chair which they’re treating as something special here, which I like. They hit the floor with Barrett in control. Barrett gets a chair shot to the back of Cena but it’s in the aisle. Barrett sets up the steps which would be illegal wouldn’t they?

Cena slams him on the stage and goes to the back. He comes back with a rolling chair in a rather funny moment. He puts Barrett in it and wakes him up with some water. Cena gets a running start and throws Barrett down the ramp in the chair into the steps. Awesome spot and kind of funny at the same time. Barrett gets control way too quickly and we’re back in the ring and the English dude has a chair.

He chokes away with it as someone as the announce table can’t stop coughing. In an amazing strength move, Cena has Barrett sitting on the chair on top of him. Cena says screw it and bench presses his way out of it. HOW STRONG IS THIS GUY? Barrett gets a chair up to stop a shoulder block and Cena hits the floor. Cena gets tied up in the ropes and Barrett has a freaking field day on him with the chair.

Cena fights out and hits the Protoplex and the Shuffle but can’t get the FU. Bossman Slam gets two. Chair is wedged in between the top and middle rope. STF is countered with Cena being launched into the wedged chair. Barrett goes up with the chair and dives off (think Foley diving off the apron with one) but gets canvas instead. Top rope Fameasser with the chair but Cena won’t cover.

He sets up about six chairs in a two rows of three facing each other. I think I see an FU coming. Hey what do you know I’m right. In the FREAKING OW MAN spot of the night, the chairs DON”T MOVE and Barrett just stops cold. The pin is academic and for once and for all, the feud is OVER.

Maybe it isn’t as Barrett crawls away and Cena picks up another chair. Let the beatdown begin. They’re up by the stage and Cena gets some kind of a metal pallet thing. Cena looks up at all the chairs hanging from the ceiling and THEY ALL FALL ON BARRETT. Nice job as Barrett is BURIED to end the show and the year. The visual on the replay of a bunch of them just falling straight down is great.

Rating: B. Not a great match or anything, but it certainly worked. I don’t usually do this, but I’m going to include the post match stuff in the rating for this one. That part is the real aspect here, as Cena didn’t beat Wade Barrett. He defeated him. That’s a key difference here. Cena did exactly what he said he’d do: he defeated Nexus. It’s not a great match, but it’s a great ending. That’s what the important thing is here, and it worked like a charm.

Overall Rating: A. This show was fun. That’s the best possible description that I can give it. You have at least one great match with Morrison vs. Sheamus and depending on your tastes another in the TLC match. There wasn’t a single bad match here with the worst certainly being the tag titles, but that was under seven minutes and really not that bad. Also it’s early enough in the show that it doesn’t hurt anything, plus it was a bonus match so it’s not like anyone has anything to be disappointed in either.

The key thing to me though is that for once we got the END of an angle here. That’s the important part of this show to me. Instead of having a show just be the next chapter in a story, it was the final chapter in it and the whole thing is done. It’s a perfect way to close out the year and it worked very well. Excellent show and exactly what it was supposed to be: incredibly violent and fun. No complaints at all.

 

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2013 Awards: Moment of the Year

This one took some time.There are a lot of options to go with here so let’s look at some of the possibilities.

 

Dolph Ziggler cashes in MITB.  The pop for this is absolutely amazing with the New York fans going insane for the smark hero of the day winning a world title.  The problem with this is it doesn’t really mean anything long term as Ziggler was having a musical instrument match with Sandow seven months later.  Still though, awesome moment.

Rhodes Brothers get their jobs back.  This is one of the rare stories that connected with people on an emotional level.  You have Cody who gets fired because he dared to stand up to the boss and had to fight for his job while Goldust needed a job as well.  This was about standing up to the man and the fans bought into it.  The match was awesome as well and the celebration with Dusty was a great moment.

Orton cashes in.  This is one of those ideas where people knew it was coming but it was still awesome.  That slight delay after Bryan wins the title before Orton’s music hit made me wonder what was going to happen.  That’s what makes a moment work to perfection and the shock was great.  HHH turning heel makes it even better and sets up the next four months worth of stories.  It was much more about the surprise than anything else and that’s a good thing.

Undertaker’s tribute to Paul Bearer.  I don’t think this really needs an explanation.

That brings us to the winner.

 

John Cena selects Daniel Bryan.  This promo was the culmination of Daniel Bryan having the year of his life and being rewarded for it.  Cena comes off looking like the people’s champion, the fans feel like their influence meant something and we got a classic match to close out the best show of the year as a result.  When a moment is awesome as well as sets up months worth of stories and an awesome match, what more can you ask for?

 

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On This Day: December 14, 2010 – NXT: One of the First Reviews Posted On Here

NXT
Date: December 14, 2010
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Todd Grisham

It’s week 2 of NXT and things are looking good so far. Last week was a good start so hopefully that continues here. I’d like to see more of their characters come out this time though which isn’t something we got to see much of on the season premiere. It’s weird to be getting ready for NXT and to have a positive outlook on it. Let’s get to it.


We open as always, with Striker bringing out the rookies. We’re opening with a karaoke challenge. I already don’t like this. There are six envelopes with wrestlers’ theme songs that they have to sing. O’Brian gets Sheamus and we FINALLY get the official words to Sheamus’ song. Surprisingly it doesn’t say Lobster Head. His voice is all nasal and this is just awful.

Bateman gets Miz. He’s not bad but the pacing is all off. He throws in a shoutout to the college football team which is smart.

Novak gets a pop as he comes up for some reason. He gets Dolph Ziggler, who happens to be his pro. Novak sounds really quite drunk. He more or less just says the words which might be the best course of action.

Clay, the white Viscera, goes third with Cody Rhodes’ song….and doesn’t do half bad. It’s more talking but there was a little flair to it. Best so far.

Curtis gets Orton and gets down in the slither pose. I know nothing about music and I’m not sure if this worked or not. Imagine a guy trying to sing like James Hetfield without having talent and singing Orton’s song and that’s about it.

Saxton is last and draws Shawn Michaels whose name gets a bigger pop than anything else so far. He messes up one of the most famous lyrics in wrestling history. How is that possible? He does dance a bit which helps somewhat. Saxton wins which I guess is the best choice as he was definitely trying.

Masters/Saxton vs. DiBiase/Clay up next.

Profile on Novak who says he used to play every spots, including football. They had a motto on the team: DTD – Determined to Dominate. He says he’s destined to dominate. That’s a good line. Novak says he’s the most like Jack Swagger on the roster and that you have to look out for #1, and that’s him. Kind of a generic promo/character but he sold it quite well.

Chris Masters/Byron Saxton vs. Ted DiBiase/Brodus Clay

See I told you it was up next. You didn’t think I’d lie to you did you? Josh talks about having dinner with Brodus recently and that he’s a fascinating person. He actually comes off as that which is good. The rookies start us off. Clay shoves him around with ease so here’s Masters instead.

After a little back and forth stuff Ted comes in and we actually take a break on NXT. Back with Ted holding a chinlock on Masters. I like this Brodus guy. Masters fights out of the corner but walks into a dropkick from Ted for two. In a funny bit Masters brings in Saxton and in a Shawn Stasiak like moment he charges and is taken down immediately.

Clay hits a huge spinebuster but tags DiBiase back in. A kneedrop misses and Saxton is able to get out and it’s pro on pro again. Another spinebuster, this time from Masters, hits DiBiase as does an accidentally shot from Clay. Masters calls for the Masterlock but Saxton gets a quick tag and walks into Dream Street to end it at approximately 7:00.

Rating: C-. Not a great match or anything but it did its job with Clay looking good for a big man and Saxton getting a bit of character development as being a headstrong guy that isn’t as good as he thinks he is. This worked ok though and wasn’t a bad match at all.

We go to the back where Bateman is warming up when Bryan comes in. He says that Bateman has a match tonight so Bryan is going to teach him a hold. It’s a heel hook which Bryan demonstrates step by step (Hey kids! Pay attention as the United States Champion shows you a basic way to snap someone’s ankle in three easy steps!) how to do it and tells Bateman to do it now. Bateman goes insane and shouts about how he’s doing submission wrestling while Bryan is telling him what to do. In order to get Bateman to chill, Bryan KICKS HIM IN THE FACE! I told you that was the best solution to a lot of problems! Funny segment.

Obstacle Course time, but this time it’s for TWO immunity points. Novak goes first and does relatively well until he gets to the push-ups where he has to start over. He sets the time to beat at 37.9 seconds.

Saxton goes second and is a jerk to Striker. I guess he’s not all bad. Saxton falls going over the hurdles and slams his head. He can’t do push-ups either and goes over a minute.

O’Brian is third but messes up on the wall/hurdle as well. He can’t do the balance beam that well and winds up getting 42.7.

Bateman is fourth and the referees are REALLY anal about these push-ups. Bateman manages to break the time at 35.7.

Curtis says he’s feeling very gazelle-like and breaks the time but the referees say he messed up on the balance beam so it’s a disqualification.

Brodus Clay is last and literally throws the walls out of his way. Naturally he’s disqualified though.

Curtis gets another chance to a chorus of boos. He destroys the time at 31.4 seconds.

Profile on Curtis who talks about dabbling in a lot of stuff. He and a friend of his trained in a ring in the woods apparently and the friend was killed in a car wreck so he has dog tags on his tights because of it. That’s a cool story.

Raw Rebounds wastes some time.

Jacob Novak hits on Vickie for some reason. Ziggler comes in and asks Vickie to leave. He’s not happy and more or less says hands off. Is there a reason why Vickie is going to be a focal point of a storyline on this show in back to back seasons?

Ad for the 50 Greatest Superstars DVD which might be worth looking at.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Derrick Bateman

This should be short in theory. Alberto asks Ricardo to take out Bateman. Del Rio dominates early on as you would expect him to. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled by this match to put it mildly. Bateman makes a brief comeback and gets a modified neckbreaker. Think the Moonlight Drive that Morrison used back on ECW. Cross Armbreaker ends it in about 3:20. Not much more than a squash.

Rating: C. Really hard to grade this as it’s barely a competitive match. They tend to have one of these a season and I’m not entirely sure I get the point to them. Del Rio has a major match on the PPV so why would we believe that Bateman stands a chance against him? Also, why not have a rookie against Bateman? Either way it wasn’t bad but it was rather short.

Overall Rating
: B. Another good episode this week as things continue to look up for this season. We got some character development, two challenges that went by pretty fast and two matches. That’s pretty good for a little under an hour I’d say, especially considering a 3-4 minute Raw Recap plus commercials. I’m liking this 6 man set of rookies as it’s definitely more workable. Nothing bad at all here and some decent stuff make this a solid outing for the second episode of the season. Good show.

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On This Day: December 12, 2011 – Monday Night Raw: The Evil Welding Mask Of Death

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 12, 2011
Location: Norfolk Scope Arena, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the Slammys! I used to love these things when I was a kid and they were so campy and entertaining. Now they’re just kind of here and they’re usually a way to have some minor stories set up for the next few weeks/months. The main event tonight is Cena vs. Henry, which somehow is a pretty big showdown. It’s also the go home show for TLC, which is kind of a minor aspect given the three hour nature of this. Let’s get to it.

We open with a Slammy presentation. This is for the Tell Me I Did Not Just See That Moment of the Year. Booker presents it…along with Horny. Horny has an afro wig and keeps doing chest bumps with Booker.

The nominees are:

JR dancing
Santino almost winning the Royal Rumble
A fan throws water at R-Truth
Miz impersonates Rock

It’s JR dancing. I can live with that as that was pretty awesome. JR comes out…and here’s Cole to cut him off because that’s what Cole does. Cole says JR is fat and Booker calls him a loser. Strap in people: Cole vs. Booker can go on for HOURS. Booker says JR can beat Cole in a rap off. Cole’s is awful and I think everyone expected that. JR says he doesn’t need music. His actually has something resembling a rhythm to it and there’s music to it anyway. And then he stops rhyming all together. Guess who the fans say win. This very well may have been the worst opening in the history of professional wrestling.

Oh and JR does a Spinarooni. Ok more like he looks like he has a heart attack and convulses on the mat for a bit.

Here are Foley and Ted DiBiase Senior to present the Holy Censored Moment of the Year. This pairing is about as awesome as anything in the history of, ahem, Mankind. They try to figure out why they’re paired together. DiBiase says that he is an ordained minister. Foley: “So if that makes you the holy, then I guess that makes me the…..” DiBise: *EVIL LAUGH*

The nominees are:

Sheamus powerbombs Sin Cara through a ladder
The RKO to a leaping Christian onto the steps
The ring breaking
Evan Bourne’s shooting star off the ladder

Gee I wonder what’s going to win. If you can’t figure this out, you fail. Show comes out to accept and thanks the Sports Entertainment Academy of Arts and Sports. He thinks the World Heavyweight Championship would look good next to the Slammy. Nice little promo for the match on Sunday and for his match which is next.

Big Show vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett says what he’ll do to Orton at TLC will earn him that award Big Show just won. Then again that award is for something unexpected and everyone knows what he’s going to do to Orton. After a break we’re joined in progress with Barrett on the floor trying to get up. There’s a table set up at ringside now. There’s also a chair and a ladder. Barrett avoids going through the table and hits a big boot to put Show’s head on the table.

Show gets up as Barrett is ready to jump and then the bald man breaks the table. With Barrett on the apron on the outside, Show chops him in the chest and knocks him into the ring. Barrett goes to the floor and brings in a chair. Show knocks it out of his hands….and wins by DQ at 1:38? It’s going to be one of those nights isn’t it?

Of all people, the Road Dogg is doing this one. Yes, that Road Dogg. He’s in a DX shirt and is doing the Pipe Bomb of the year, which I think is the weird moment of the year.

There aren’t any real nominees but more along the lines of a bunch of R-Truth moments plus a hand full of others. This is just a big comedy montage for all intents and purposes, which is a great reminder of some stuff, namely Punk and Truth. The winner is…..CM Punk. Ok I can live with that.

Punk comes out with….a mannequin? It’s got a blonde wig and a t-shirt that says…..OH MY GOODNESS IT’S A DYNAMIC DUDES SHIRT!!!!! Punk says that he wants to talk about something tonight that is a special cause. This person works behind the scenes and is incredibly boring, just like this mannequin. Naturally it’s Johnny Ace and Punk has a tribute video. It’s set to a song that I’ve heard before but can’t place. We get Dynamic Dudes clips in there too which makes this worth a smile. After the video Punk is trying not to crack up. He accepts the award on Punk’s behalf and does a decent impression of him.

Lita is here to present the Divalicious Moment of the Year. Yep she’s still hot. I don’t think half the people know who she is.

The nominees are:

Natalya putting the Sharpshooter on Eve and I think Alicia.
Kelly winning the Divas Title.
Kharma destroying Michelle.
Beth’s top rope Glam Slam to Eve.

Of course it goes to Kelly because she’s supposed to be some kind of female hero or something. Beth comes out to take the award from her and gets slapped.

Santino presents the OMG Moment of the Year. The Bellas are with him and they look good in those red dresses. After an argument over whether it’s o-m-g or OMG (pronounced like a word), here are the nominees.

HHH tombstones the Undertaker.
Rock Bottom to Cena at Mania.
The Walk Out.
Punk Leaves With The Title.

HHH wins. Are you freaking kidding me? He makes his big return with the hammer…and walks to the ring without his award. HHH says the real OMG moment was having Taker carried out for the first time in his career. He says the Undertaker is no more. HHH takes credit for ending the Streak. Are you kidding me? We get the video of Nash hitting him with the hammer a few months ago.

He says that maybe their 16 year relationship was based on lies and this Sunday all the lies and deceptions end. On Sunday he’ll show the world that he’s right and that Nash is simply done. Well he was done 13 years ago. Do we really need a match for that? HHH leaves and implies he’ll hit Santino with the hammer but lets him run instead.

Otunga and Tony Atlas are here for the Trending Superstar of the Year. Tony does the laugh as Otunga tries to be serious. The award goes to whichever superstar listed is trending on Twitter the fastest. Get this over with. They’ll be in a fatal fourway with the winner of the match meaning nothing but the first to be trending winning the Slammy.

Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder

Or is the winner of the match the winner of the award? Do they have any idea what’s going on here? Ryder and Bryan send the champs to the floor and hit stereo dives as we take a break. Back with Ryder and Bryan squaring off and they change the rules AGAIN, saying that it’s whoever trends first. THEN WHY HAVE THE MATCH??? Bryan and Ryder have a decent back and forth segment with them hitting cross bodies to put them both down.

Rhodes and Ziggler tease a staredown but think better of it so they can stomp the good guys. They get in a shoving match and Bryan tries to steal a pin. Rhodes and Bryan have a LONG pinfall reversal sequence but Bryan is sent to the floor. Ryder follows him and Ziggler tries to roll up Rhodes. Alabama Slam to Dolph gets two. They take a second break with Cody standing tall.

Back with Rhodes having Ryder in a Figure Four which doesn’t last long. Rhodes charges into some knees in the corner but Dolph breaks up the Broski Boot. Everyone is in the ring and everyone goes down. Beautiful Disaster hits Ziggler for two and Bryan goes off with the rapid fire kicks to Cody. Bryan goes up but gets crotched. Ziggler gets drilled by Ryder but stops Ryder as he goes up. Both heels hit superplexes and everyone is down again. Rough Ryder to Ziggler, Cross Rhodes to Ryder, LeBell Lock to Rhodes, Sleeper to Bryan, Zig Zag to Bryan and that gets the pin at 15:22.

Rating: B-. Fun match but as Lawler said, the match wasn’t important. What was important was trending on Twitter. That right there sums up almost everything that is wrong with Raw anymore. They’re so obsessed with getting people to notice them and accept them because they’re trending on Twitter 50 times a night and they have to tell us they’re trending on Twitter 50 times a night and it drives people crazy. And they wonder why no one buys their PPVs and why no one is watching their shows.

Ryder wins the award, because the match was pointless. He gets a Zig Zag for his efforts.

Christian returns to present Game Changer of the Year. He gives himself courageous moment of the year first of all. This is for one moment that changes everything. Here are the nominees.

HHH telling Vince and the pink jacket that he’s relieved of his duties.
Edge’s retirement speech.
Kevin Nash returns.
Rock and Cena making the main event of Mania a year early.

Cena and Rock win, as they probably should. Cena says he should only get half of the credit for this and introduces Rock. Oh wait this is a live show so he’s not here. “But he said he’d never leave!” We do have a satellite clip though. Oh wait no we don’t because he didn’t have time for that either. “This is worse than JR’s rap.” He apologizes for Team Bring It for not bringing it. However, this makes the award mean more because Rock is going to see this soon and hopefully it fires him up even more. This award is for changing the game for a year, but at Mania they change the game forever.

Alberto Del Rio/The Miz vs. CM Punk/Randy Orton

Punk vs. Miz starts us off. Off to Del Rio vs. Orton quickly and the Viper gets beaten down by both heels. We’re in standard tag formula mode quickly tonight. Punk gets a hot tag quickly and cleans house but the GTS is broken up, allowing Miz to guillotine Punk on the ropes as we take a break. Back with Punk backsliding Miz for two. Del Rio comes in and works over the arm a lot.

This is your usual main event style tag match: it’s the same formula with one guy getting beaten down for a long time until the other big face comes in off a hot tag and cleans house to set up the ending. The Finale and the GTS are countered but Punk’s kick to the head of Miz can’t get the tag. Barrett runs in through the crowd to take out Orton. Miz can’t hit the corner clothesline but he counters the GTS into the Finale for the clean pin on Punk at 12:42. Forget what I said about the formula I guess.

Rating: C-. The ending was a VERY nice surprise and it gives some heat to the main event on Sunday, which is certainly a good thing. Not a horrible match but Del Rio and Miz are pretty weak in the ring. Del Rio is boring all around but that goes without saying. It helped to push the title match though so that made it a lot better.

Miz and Del Rio beat up Punk post match and he gets put in the armbreaker using the ladder.

Vickie presents A-Lister of the Year. And here’s Goldust to present with her. He says she wears more makeup than she does.

The nominees are:

The Muppets
Hugh Jackman
Snooki
Cee-Lo Green

And it goes to Snooki because the WWE is stupid. She gives a pre-recorded message.

Mark Henry says he’ll do more to Big Show Sunday than he has already.

Here’s Sheamus but he’s interrupted by Jinder Mahal. Ok then. He rambles for awhile and gets his head kicked off. That’s it. There’s a referee there but there was no bell and no cover or anything.

Rey Mysterio comes out to present Superstar of the Year. The nominees are:

Orton
Miz
Henry
Punk
Del Rio
Cena

Ace comes out and accepts for him because he’s banged up.

Second Coming video. The word control flashes on the screen to end this.

We hear a story about a soldier in Afghanistan that hugged Vince when she saw him and opened her phone to show him her son with a WWE Title belt. Her son and husband are in the front row. That’s cool.

Mark Henry vs. John Cena

This is due to Cena costing Henry a win last week over Ryder. The bell rang at 1055 so this isn’t going to last long. We go to a break less than a minute in. Back with Henry in control,. Cena tries a slam but falls backwards. Off to a neck vice but Cena suplexes his way out of it. He hits the Shuffle but collapses on an AA attempt which gets two for Mark. Henry calls Cena Mr. USA I think.

Cena avoids a powerslam and hammers away but the shoulders don’t put Henry down. Instead Cena jumps into a bearhug and he’s in trouble. He escapes for a few seconds and hits the Slam but falls down afterwards. Then some fire goes off and KANE is back. He has a modified version of the old music and looks like he’s wearing a metal mask. He chokeslams Cena and I guess it’s thrown out at we’ll say 9 minutes. The mask looks ridiculous, but he takes it off post chokeslam to reveal a more traditional one. There’s Cena’s match for Sunday I guess.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but the end was the whole point of it. Kane was someone that needed to return, if nothing else to give Cena something to do on Sunday. The mask being back….why? His video has the shot of him not in a mask, but he’s wearing one here. I don’t get it, but that sums up most of WWE at this point for me.

Overall Rating: D+. This show didn’t do it for me. I mean it really didn’t do it for me. The awards were pretty weak and while there were a few nice surprises, they didn’t really help get the show going, at least not for me. It wasn’t bad and I’ve definitely seen worse stuff, but this didn’t do much. The crowd didn’t care but I think that’s due to the nature of the show more than anything else. Too much talking too and not a good show overall, but it had its spots. Nice surprise at the end too.

Results
Big Show b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Barrett used a chair
Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes and Zach Ryder – Zig Zag to Bryan
The Miz/Alberto Del Rio b. Randy Orton/CM Punk – Skull Crushing Finale to Punk
John Cena vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when Kane interfered

Here’s TLC if you’re interested:

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Monday Night Raw – December 2, 2013: Some New Hopes

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 2, 2013
Location: Chesapeake Energy Arena, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re closing in on TLC now since a title unification match eleven years in the making only needs three weeks of build. Tonight we have a contract signing between Orton and Cena which is bound to wind up in some kind of an altercation. On top of that we might find out what happened when the human goat was kidnapped by the backwoods religious cult. That could only happen in wrestling or a very disturbing movie. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Punk to open the show. He says he’s in denial because last week he made the sin of criticizing HHH on Raw. Now he finds himself here in denial because there has to be something between insulting the Authority and being attacked by Shield last week. If he’s right, that makes the Authority the biggest group of cowardly censored something that starts with a D in history.

This brings out a smiling Stephanie with something to say. She hopes everyone had a good Thanksgiving but thinks Punk is way off base here. Would the Authority be the kind of people to send the Shield after Punk because of a simple insult? They’ve matured further than that and the Authority had nothing to do with the attack last week. They have more important things to do tonight, including overseeing the contract signing. Stephanie is fair though and says Punk can bring up any concerns with Kane.

Kane reiterates that the Authority had nothing to do with the Shield’s attack, so this issue is resolved, unless Punk has any questions. Punk asks when Kane because this corporate suck up and advises Kane not to patronize him. Punk wants Kane in the ring right now but Stephanie holds him back. Instead here’s the Shield so Punk immediately grabs a chair. Stephanie tells Shield to stop because Punk is to be respected and admired. She leaves so Kane makes a handicap match for TLC with Punk vs. all three members of Shield.

Damien Sandow vs. Dolph Ziggler

The winner gets an Intercontinental Title shot at TLC so Langston is at ringside. Ziggler hits a quick dropkick for two and a clothesline puts Sandow down. Langston says he’d rather face Dolph instead of saying he’d like to face either guy. They head to the floor with Ziggler being dropped face first onto the steps for a two count. Langston talks about competing in Skip-It with Ziggler back when they were close to confuse JBL.

The Wind-Up Elbow gets two for Sandow but he misses a middle rope moonsault. Ziggler rains down right hands in the corner and drops Sandow with a neckbreaker for two. A sunset flip gets the same and Sandow misses his running flip neckbreaker. The Fameasser gets two on Damien but Ziggler gets crotched on the top and You’re Welcome sends Sandow to TLC at 3:54.

Rating: C. This was something the title has missed for far too long: someone winning a match over an established name to earn a title shot. There’s nothing overly complicated to that idea and it works fine here. Langston doesn’t have to lose a match to set it up, Sandow gets a win and we have a title match down the road. Why is that so much to ask for most of the time?

Summer Rae/Tamina Snuka/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins/Natalya

The non-Total Divas are now the True Divas. AJ skips around the ring while Nikki gets two off a crucifix on Tamina to start. Brie comes in with a middle rope dropkick and a running knee to Snuka’s chest. AJ is still skipping around the ring. Summer chokes Brie on the ropes and shows off her flexibility before getting a two count.

Brie finally fights out and makes the tag to Natalya who speeds things up a bit. Tamina is knocked off the apron so Summer shouts at AJ to stop skipping and make the tag. AJ finally comes in and nearly gets caught in the Sharpshooter as everything breaks down. The distraction lets Natalya roll up AJ for the pin at 4:18.

Rating: D. Here’s the problem with the Total Divas face push in a nutshell: we haven’t been given a reason to care about them. There was never a moment where they were all turned face, other than AJ’s promo from months ago which was all true stuff. WWE is assuming that fans like the Total Divas because they have a reality show and the Bellas date Cena and Bryan, though I don’t think Cena and Nikki have ever been announced on WWE TV. Other than that, they just started being faces and the announcers started talking about AJ being mean. That’s not enough to build a boring feud on and it’s showing badly.

AJ skips away post match.

Here’s Wade Barrett’s new gimmick: Bad News Barrett, standing at a podium next to the announcers’ desk. He has good news and bad news for us. The good: we’re live on Raw. The bad: we’re stuck in a place full of hillbillies that had to name their city after the state they live in. Barrett thanks the crowd and the words #Bad News Barrett appear on screen. End segment.

Orton demands that Brad Maddox tell the WWE Universe that he’s a bigger star and a more well known name than Cena.

Daniel Bryan vs. Erick Rowan

So after disappearing last week, Bryan appears to be fine. There’s no Bray in sight. Bryan goes after Rowan to start before grabbing a sleeper, only to be flipped down onto his back. A hard slam puts Bryan down as JBL talks about Shakespeare writing psycho babble. The beating continues with Rowan throwing Bryan to the floor, only to be dropkicked in the ribs on the way back in. Bryan’s dive is caught in mid air and Rowan slams him into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Bryan fighting out of a chinlock but being slammed right back down instead. Rowan takes him to the floor and sends Bryan into the steps but Bryan comes back with a drop toehold into the corner. The running dropkick staggers Rowan but Bryan charges into an elbow to put him down. Some knees to the head get two for Erick and we hit the chinlock with a knee in Bryan’s back.

Daniel tries another comeback but charges into a fallaway slam. Rowan hits a running splash in the corner for two as JBL thinks Bryan should join the Wyatt Family. Bryan finally comes back with a dropkick to send Rowan to the floor, setting up the FLYING GOAT. Back in and the missile dropkick puts Erick down but the big YES Kick is blocked. Bryan is put on the top rope and kicked in the face but he slides down Rowan’s back for the rollup pin at 14:03.

Rating: C+. This was the power vs. speed formula worked very well. On top of that it made Rowan look better than he ever has before as he dominated about twelve minutes out of the fourteen in the match. What more can you ask for from a match to build up the Bryan vs. Bray feud?

Post match Bray pops up on screen and tells the Wyatts to stand down. He talks about doing a lot of horrible things since he’s been on this earth and that he can admit when he’s in the wrong. Bray was wrong about Bryan when he thought Bryan was just chasing the improbable dream. How long is Bryan willing to live this lie and soil their red carpet? They look at Bryan like he’s a gorilla in a cage and will never love him like Bray could. Together they could bring the machine to its knees if Bryan will just open his eyes.

Post break Bryan is walking around in the back when he runs into Kane. The big man congratulates him on his success but makes Bryan vs. the three members of the Wyatt Family at TLC. We even get a mini-finger pointing yes from Kane.

Xavier Woods/R-Truth vs. Tons of Funk

This is over Woods borrowing Brodus’ music a bit too much. Brodus slams Woods down to start and apparently has scales on the back of his singlet now. Off to Tensai for some shoulders but Woods fights back with forearms. Truth comes in and pounds away on Tensai but gets run over with ease. The catapult sends him throat first into the middle rope and it’s back to Clay for some gyrations.

Truth comes back with a forearm to put both guys down and there’s the hot tag off to Woods. Things speed up a bit and the Honor Roll gets two on Clay but he comes back with the release suplex. Woods avoids the middle rope splash and gets the most awkward looking side roll you’ll see in a long time for the pin at 4:10.

Rating: D+. The fans were silent for most of this but the match was decent enough from a technical standpoint. Woods will grow on the fans if he’s allowed to be the comedy character he’s best at, but being Truth’s lackey isn’t going to do much for him. This is as good a way as any to bring him in though.

Clay glares at Tensai post match.

Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio

Sin Cara has a large tattoo on his arm and shoulder, which means it might be Hunico under the mask instead of Mistico. The lighting is back again. Cara scores with a top rope armdrag and some kicks to the legs before a spinning armdrag off the top puts him down again. Del Rio heads to the floor and gets (mostly) caught by an Asai Moonsault.

Back in and Del Rio kicks Cara out to the floor before putting on a chinlock. A double stomp to Cara’s back gets two but Cara comes back with a nice to rope headbutt. Sin gets two off a spinning springboard cross body but gets caught in a German suplex for two. Del Rio misses the corner enziguri and gets caught by a Swanton Bomb for the huge upset at 4:43.

Rating: C. Has the writing staff completely changed tonight? We’ve had a #1 contenders match for a midcard title, a feud over stolen music and now a completely clean upset win. These are actually fresh ideas and they’re really helping things. WWE has been needing some new plot devices and it’s very nice to see some happening tonight.

Cena talks about the argument over which title is better raging for fifty years. We get a Flair and Hogan imitation to perk the false history up a little bit before Cena says the titles mean everything.

Shield says Punk can’t last with any of them at TLC.

Goldust/Cody Rhodes/Big Show vs. Shield

Big Show starts with Ambrose with the giant taking over with a headbutt and elbow drop. There’s the skin ripping chop in the corner and it’s off to Rollins who gets clotheslined inside out. We get the showdown with Reigns who has his vest ripped open for an even louder chop. Reigns goes to the eyes to bring in Ambrose, only to have him get slammed off the top.

Goldust and Cody both get their turns with some shots to Ambrose before Cody hits a seated knee for two. A delayed release front suplex gets two on Rollins and it’s back to Goldie for a few moments. That goes nowhere so it’s back to Cody who cleans house in the Shield corner. The moonsault press gets two on Ambrose but Dean escapes Cross Rhodes. Dean cranks on Cody’s arm to take over and we take a break.

Back with Rollins cranking on Cody’s arm before bringing Dean in again to stomp at the ribs. Roman comes back in and works on the arm even more before Rollins hits a splash in the corner. Cody finally gets in a shot to Dean’s ribs but Reigns breaks up the tag. Roman’s elbow misses though and there’s the hot tag off to Big Show. Ambrose low bridges Big Show to the floor for an eight count before Rollins can hit the top rope knee for no cover. Reigns puts on a front facelock and gets two off a shoulder block before it’s back to Dean for a sleeper.

Show suplexes him down and chokeslams an invading Reigns, giving us the final hot tag to Goldust. The Golden one hits his uppercut and a freaking hurricanrana of all things as everything breaks down. Dean dropkicks Cody to the floor but Big Show low bridges Ambrose out as well. Goldust’s powerslam puts Rollins down but Reigns spears Big Show. Cody takes out Reigns off to the apron but might have injured his elbow. Goldust loads up a superplex on Dean but Seth gets a quick rollup on Goldust for the pin at 20:40.

Rating: B-. The match picked up a lot at the end but felt like it was filling in time until the end of the match. The problem for me is the Rhodes brothers and Shield have fought in some combination six times on TV since the beginning of November alone. They need to keep these teams apart for awhile to make the matches feel special again before the magic goes away.

Punk is asked about how he feels for the handicap match. Apparently he feels pretty and witty and gay but changes his mind. He knows he’s going down but wants to know how many members of the Shield he’s taking with him.

More Bad News Barrett. The bad news is Americans celebrated Thanksgiving, meaning their arteries are now clogged and they sweat when they eat. End segment.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Kofi Kingston/The Miz

Axel and Miz get things going with Miz taking over with a clothesline. Off to Kofi to crank on the arm and bring Miz back in with an ax handle to the shoulder. Axel’s clothesline to the back of the head puts Miz down and it’s back to Ryback. The monster shoves Miz around and clotheslines his head off to follow up. A delayed vertical suplex sets up a bearhug on the mat to work on the ribs.

Back to Axel for a dropkick before Ryback comes in again with a kick to the head. The second bearhug doesn’t last long either as Miz fights out, eventually making the hot tag to Kofi. Things speed up a bit and Kofi pounds away in the corner, only to be distracted by Axel, allowing Ryback to take over. A Shell Shock out of nowhere ends Kingston at 5:57.

Rating: D. Ryback and Axel are fine as a team but the match was there as a way to advance Kofi vs. Miz even more. Miz’s heel turn has worked decently so far as he’s getting to be the jerk that he naturally is, but he needs to do more than just roll up Kofi all the time. Dull match for the most part.

Post match Miz slaps Kofi.

Los Matadores sell us stuff.

Fandango vs. Mark Henry

Henry throws Fandango around to start and gyrates to Summer a bit. Well he was Sexual Chocolate after all. Fandango avoids a charge in the corner and hits a few shots, including a top rope cross body. It looked like Henry was supposed to catch him in midair but fell backwards instead. The World’s Strongest Slam ends Fandango at 3:20.

Rating: D+. Henry dancing was funny but that’s about it. This was even more fime filling tonight on a show that didn’t need any more of that at all. I can’t complain about seeing Summer Rae twice in a single night and she looked great out there but there wasn’t much else to talk about here.

We look at Titus in the food eating contest and then getting sick in JBL’s hat.

Real Americans vs. Prime Time Players

Titus runs over Swagger to start as the announcers talk about stomach ailments. A Cesaro distraction doesn’t do much as Titus sends Jack flying in a release fallaway slam. Swagger gets a boot up in the corner to send O’Neal to the floor followed by a hard clothesline. The Vader Bomb sets up the jumping double stomp for two as the announcers think Titus might get sick again.

A double back elbow gets two for the Americans and we hit the armbar. Now it’s off to a chinlock from Cesaro before he loads up the Swing. Swagger and Colter tell him not to for fear of Titus getting sick but Cesaro does a short version. O’Neal looks to be getting sick but falls into the corner for a tag off to Young. Darren cleans house with some nice suplexes but dives into the uppercut for the pin by Cesaro at 6:48.

Rating: D+. I guess this is another of those matches where they’re appealing to a certain demographic, but it’s certainly not mine. This wasn’t funny but I’ve never been one for the gross out style of comedy. If nothing else, Titus deserves better than this. I can’t believe I’m saying that but it’s true.

The new champion will be called the Unified Champion. I can’t imagine they’ll go with that.

Here are HHH and Stephanie for the contract signing. They make it clear that there will be ONE champion after the title match which is a good thing to make definitive. Both guys come out and HHH runs down the history of both titles, of course playing up the made up history of the World Title. Both guys sign and Orton talks about all the greats that have held the title, but he’s better than all of them.

Orton says he and the people here have something in common: they don’t like Cena very much. He’s the only person capable of taking Cena down and he’ll do that in two weeks. Cena says they’ve met before and Orton reminds Cena of kicking his dad in the head. The only reason Cena is on this earth is to lose every big match he’s ever in. The only dream Orton has ever turned into a nightmare was HHH’s because Orton never lived up to his potential.

Orton was supposed to be the best but he let a guy in a t-shirt and a ball cap take him down. Cena never asked to be the face of anything and he earned his title instead of having it handed to him. He may not be the Apex Predator but he’s John Cena. John challenges Randall to make a move but if he does he’ll show him what tables, ladders and chairs are all about. Orton flips the table and the fight is on.

Cena hits him with a ladder but Orton sends him into the post to take over. Orton loads up the announce table but Cena blasts him with another ladder and some chair shots to back it up. Randy is sent into the steps and back inside but he gets in a ladder shot of his own. Some chair shots put Cena down and Orton loads up a table. Cena sends him through a table in the corner though and it’s an AA through the table to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is another show where it needed to be two hours. There were some actually fresh ideas out there with Sin Cara beating Del Rio intriguing me. Hunico is a better fit for the character and could take it to some far better places than Mistico. The bulk of the second half felt like a lot of time filler though which doesn’t make for an entertaining show. The good was stronger than the bad but also less frequent which drags the show down slightly. Still decent enough though.

Results

Damien Sandow b. Dolph Ziggler – You’re Welcome

Bella Twins/Natalya b. AJ Lee/Summer Rae/Tamina Snuka – Rollup

Daniel Bryan b. Erick Rowan – Rollup

Xavier Woods/R-Truth b. Tons of Funk – Oklahoma roll to Clay

Sin Cara b. Alberto Del Rio – Swanton Bomb

Shield b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Big Show – Rollup to Goldust

Real Americans b. Prime Time Players – Uppercut to Young

 

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Monday Night Raw – November 25, 2013: Oh What A Rush

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 25, 2013
Location: Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York,
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Survivor Series and not a lot has changed. The main events all went exactly the same way everyone expected them to, but there was a surprise at the ending. John Cena and Randy Orton, both world champions, stood alone in the ring, seemingly teasing a title unification match at some point down the line. There might be some development on that tonight. Let’s get to it.

We recap the ending to last night’s show.

Here’s Orton to open the show. He brags about doing what he said he’d do and rise about the giant to keep the title last night. Orton asks HHH and Stephanie to come out here for something to say, and the Authority obliges. They seem very pleased with Orton on the way to the ring and Stephanie brags about how awesome he was last night. Orton talks about HHH and Stephanie lied about the interference.

Stephanie says they set everything up and there was no physical interference just like they said. It was all to motivate Orton you see. That’s not cool with Randy though because he was able to beat Big Show on his own. He’s the face of the WWE and the biggest star in all of wrestling.

This brings out John Cena who thinks there’s more than one champion right now. He talks about the fans being tired of being coddled and thinks we need to find out who the better man is. Orton protests a bit but Cena cuts him off, saying that this match is 11 years in the making, but there’s no way to avoid this any longer. If Orton wants to, let’s get rid of one championship and see who really is better.

HHH and Stephanie like the idea quite a bit and say in three weeks at TLC, they’re going to hang both titles above the ring. It’s going to be John Cena vs. Randy Orton in a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match. HHH never actually said the titles were on the line but I think that’s implied.

Shield vs. Rey Mysterio/Goldust/Cody Rhodes

Shield jumps the good guys to start and pull Goldust to their corner for an early advantage. Ambrose pounds away but Goldust counters his running dropkick into a catapult to the floor. Goldust uppercuts Dean down and backdrops the now legal Rollins to the floor. Seth springboards into an atomic drop but Reigns comes in with a running clothesline for two as we take a break.

Back with Goldust fighting off Ambrose and making the hot tag to Mysterio. Things immediately speed up as Rey snaps off a headscissors to Rollins, only to have both guys try cross bodies at the same time. Double tags bring in Ambrose and Rhodes with Cody hitting the missile dropkick and an Alabama Slam as everything breaks down. Reigns is sent to the floor but Reigns spears him down. Goldust gets one as well but Cody dropkicks Reigns to the floor. A Disaster Kick sends him to the floor again but Ambrose sneaks in with the bulldog driver to pin Cody at 8:30.

Rating: C+. Very fast paced match here with everyone moving the entire way through. Reigns got his big spears in and the seeds of his face turn continue. Notice that Ambrose got the pin after his finisher, but it was Reigns taking out two of the three opponents. That could come into play later.

You can pick Ziggler vs. Sandow’s stipulations: street fight, lumberjack match or hardcore match.

It’s time for MizTV with special guest NFL legend Michael Strahan. Instead it’s Titus O’Neil in a suit with some of his teeth blacked out ala Strahan’s gap between his teeth. Titus imitates Strahan’s odd way of speaking but Miz wants to know what’s up with the gap. Miz: “That thing is wider than the gap between the Giants and the playoffs.” “Strahan” things that Titus is awesome but here’s the real Strahan to protest.

Strahan doesn’t think the gap humor is very funny but thinks the fans want to have some fun. Tonight there’s going to be a double team main event. It’s going to be Orton/Del Rio vs. John Cena/Big Show. Miz approves of Strahan’s hosting abilities but wants to know if he can hang in the ring. Strahan dosn’t mind the idea of a fight but Titus plays peacekeeper.

Apparently a simple move could put Strahan out of work and wants to know if Michael can handle a hiptoss. Michael blocks the hiptoss pretty easily so Titus takes his jacket off to try his luck. The same thing happens again as the fans are just silent. Miz makes fun of the Giants (Strahan’s old team who are having a terrible season) and gets taken down with ease. There’s a hiptoss for Titus as well to end on a fun moment….I think? The Millions of Dollars dance ensues.

How to download the App to vote for the stipulations.

Big E. Langston/Mark Henry vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Langston starts with Axel but the former Heyman Guys double team Langston down with a spinebuster and splash for two. Ryback gorilla presses him down for two and it’s back to Axel for some stomping. Langston fights up and powers Ryback down, allowing for the double tag off to Henry and Axel. Everything breaks down with the power guys cleaning house. The World’s Strongest Slam ends Axel at 2:32.

We recap the opening segment. JBL flat out says one of them is leaving with both titles. That’s the first official confirmation.

Total Divas vs. Team AJ

Bella Twins/Funkadactyls/Natalya/Eva Marie/JoJo

Aksana/AJ Lee/Rosa Mendes/Summer Rae/Kaitlyn/Tamina Snuka/Alicia Fox

Yes, seriously and it’s elimination again. Brie starts with Aksana and gets a fast pin off something we missed due to the screen going dark. The Bellas double team Rosa for an elimination and it’s off to Cameron to face Tamina. Snuka easily throws her down so it’s off to Naomi for a double suplex on Tamina followed by some hip shaking. A superkick eliminates Naomi very quickly and it’s off to Cameron with a high cross body.

Tamina easily rolls through into a Samoan drop for the elimination but Natalya comes in to take out the monster. She slams Tamina down and tags in JoJo for the “shocking” pin. Alicia comes in and gets rolled up a few times, only to get caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for the elimination. Eva comes in to some insane heel heat before countering a sunset flip out of the corner to Fox for a pin.

Off to Kaitlyn vs. Natalya with the Canadian making Kaitlyn tap out in just a few seconds. It’s AJ/Summer vs. the Bellas/Eva/Natalya and AJ comes in first. Natalya tries a Sharpshooter again but AJ rolls her up for the pin, taking care of that potential challenger. Brie comes in with the Bella Buster and the pin, leaving Summer all alone. Summer realizes she’s outnumbered and starts dancing. Nikki comes in and does the Worm to a pop but Summer completely fails at it. The Bellas won’t let her leave and Nikki grabs a torture rack backbreaker for the pin at 8:24.

Rating: F+. You know my opinion on this already. Just pick a Total Diva to win the title in the big season finale and be done with it already.

Sandow is in the ring to protest having to be in a match selected by the fans. The match is going to be a Hamptons Hardcore Match.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow

The Hamptons is a VERY rich neighborhood in New York so there are golf clubs and tennis rackets around the ring. Ziggler wears a New York Islanders jersey to suck up to the crowd even more. Various objects are uses to hit both guys, including a trashcan to send Ziggler to the floor. Dolph sends Sandow over the timekeeper’s table as Cole talks about the Mean Street Posse in the Attitude Era. Ziggler puts Sandow in the trashcan and dropkicks him down as we take a break.

Back with Sandow dropping knees to the chest but getting sent into a food cart of some kind. Damien drapes the Islanders jersey over Ziggler for the Wind-Up Elbow for some cheap but decent heat. They head outside where Ziggler gets in a blast from a fire extinguisher before heading back inside. A shot with a broom sets up the Fameass for two on Damien. Ziggler hits a delayed jumping DDT onto a chair for two but Daniem breaks the broom over Ziggler’s back. You’re Welcome onto the trashcan is enough to pin Ziggler at 11:35.

Rating: C. This was fine all things around and I could see them doing several of these over the next few weeks. It’s a simple idea and something different from what they usually do so I can’t complain about it being repetitive. The matches aren’t terrible either, though Zack Ryder must be crying over these.

Trailer for Miz’s new ABC Family movie.

Santino is in the back with Strahan when Erick Rowan comes up with a sheep mask. Strahan puts it on and they stare at each other for awhile. Santino thinks it has something to do with Thanksgiving and suggests some turkey cooking techniques. Another strange segment in a series tonight.

Renee Young brings out Punk and Bryan for a chat. Punk asks Bryan if they survived last night, earning a quick YES. Do they want to take on the Wyatts again with Bray included? YES! Are we in Long Island? YES! Is it weird that we both have microphones and keep shouting answers while Renee doesn’t ask us any questions? YES! What is a better team name: the Goats, the Best and the Beard or the Best Team in the World? Bryan: “….that’s not a yes or no question.” Bryan says they’re ready and asks Punk what time it is. IT’S CLOBBERIN TIME!!! The Wyatts come out and we take a break.

CM Punk/Daniel Bryan vs. Wyatt Family

Three on two here. Punk and Rowan get things going with CM firing off kicks to the leg. Bryan comes in and kicks at the ribs like only he can but Rowan comes back with an elbow to the jaw. Off to Harper vs. Punk with CM taking Harper into the corner for some shoulders. Back to Bryan as they work on the other monster’s leg a bit this time. Harper comes back with a hard shot to the face and now it’s time for Bray himself.

Bray blasts Daniel in the jaw and drops him with a headbutt before bringing Rowan back in. Erick misses a big boot in the corner and the hot tag brings Punk in for some kicks and knees to the face. Rowan is knocked to the floor and Punk hits the suicide dive to send him into the barricade. Back in and the Macho Elbow gets two for Punk but Erick counters the GTS by LAUNCHING Punk out to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Punk fighting out of a Rowan chinlock. Harper comes in before the comeback though and puts on the Gator Roll into a headlock. Rowan comes in again for some choking but Punk kicks him in the head to put both guys down. A double tag brings in Bryan and Harper with Daniel dropkicking Bray out to the floor.

The FLYING GOAT takes Bray down again as Bryan speeds things way up. Back in and Harper catches Harper in a hurricanrana but Rowan breaks up the pin. Running dropkicks in the corner have the monsters in trouble but Harper hits the Michinoku Driver. Bray comes in for the big brawl and the match is thrown out at about 13:00.

Rating: C. Still good for the most part but nowhere near what last night’s match was. Rowan needs the ring time more than anything else right now so having two tag matches like this is a good thing for him. Bray being in the match helped too but it’s good that he was in small doses here. Fun match to continue the story.

Post match the heroes are laid out and Bryan gets taken away by the Wyatts. Punk goes after them but Shield takes Punk out in a surprise attack. The TripleBomb leaves Punk laying.

The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi starts fast with some hiptosses to frustrate Miz and things already slow down. Miz bails to the floor but Kofi stops himself from diving after him. Back in and we hit the front facelock on Miz but he counters into a headlock. Kofi fights out with ease and kicks Miz down to set up the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise is blocked as well. The Figure Four doesn’t work and the SOS gets two. Kofi hits a cross body for two but Miz quickly rolls him up for the pin at 5:00.

Rating: C-. This was fast paced for the most part but it wasn’t anything close to what they did last night. I’m still not sure what the idea is behind doing the same thing on back to back nights, especially when last night’s match was available for free. Kofi continues to be Kofi and no one cares about the Miz, so everything is the same.

Mick Foley, Dude Love and Mankind sell us stuff.

Some contest winner is here and already has shirts made for his gimmick: the Kosher Butcher. Ok then.

R-Truth is in the ring in street clothes to introduce Xavier Woods, who is being accompanied by the Funkadactyls tonight due a deal with Brodus Clay.

Xavier Woods vs. Heath Slater

Woods starts fast and flips Slater down to the mat before chopping in the corner. Slater avoids a charge in the corner and puts on a chinlock to kill more time. Woods fights up and hits the rolling clothesline followed by Lost in the Woods for the pin at 3:17.

Rating: D. They did what they were hoping to do here but it didn’t really change anything at all. Woods is going to be fine in the midcard for awhile but I can’t picture him going much further than that. Then again, that’s not a bad career to have. R-Truth isn’t going to do him much more good though.

The Total Divas hit on Strahan as he signs autographs for them. Eva hits on him but Goldust pops up behind Strahan for his bite thing.

Steve Austin is voted as Rock’s greatest Wrestlemania rival.

Cena and Strahan are cool with each other.

John Cena/Big Show vs. Randy Orton/Alberto Del Rio

Big Show and Del Rio get us going with the giant hitting some of those loud chops of his. Del Rio is thrown to the corner and it’s Orton’s chance at Big Show. More chops put Orton down and an elbow drop crushes him as we take a break. Back with Cena missing a charge into the corner, allowing Del Rio to hit the corner enziguri for two. Orton comes in for a chinlock followed by a Del Rio DDT for two.

Cena gets in a shoulder block and brings in Big Show off the hot tag and house is cleaned. Del Rio comes back with the low superkick to put Big Show down and his eyes look dazed. Big Show falls down off the ropes and Del Rio rakes at his eyes to show how evil he is. Back to Orton who does very little before bringing Del Rio back in for a kick to the head.

Remember that Big Show was punted last night. The giant tries to tag Orton and the doctor comes in to check on him. Big Show says he’s ok so Orton takes him down with a DDT. Another punt is countered by a spear and there’s the hot tag to Cena. House is cleaned, armbreaker is countered, Del Rio is tapping at 15:33.

Rating: D+. This was all about Big Show, which is dumb given the match that’s coming. We needed a big showdown here between Cena and Orton and we got a chinlock instead. The match was nothing to see of note but Big Show’s injury could be interesting going forward. I can’t imagine sitting through Big Show vs. Del Rio though. That just sounds dreadful.

Post match Cena beats up Del Rio a bit more but Orton lays him out with the title. Orton poses with both belts to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is one of those shows where what was good was good but what was bad was bad. They felt like they were really rushing through this show though, packing in as much stuff as they could into three hours. I’m not a fan of having another PPV in three weeks but I have a hard time the title is going to be unified at TLC three weeks after the story is set up. That’s fast even for WWE standards. The Strahan stuff could have been MUCH worse but it wasn’t anything of note at all. If you cut out the boring stuff on this, it’s a good show but as it is, it’s just passable.

Results

Shield b. Rey Mysterio/Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Bulldog driver to Rhodes

Mark Henry/Big E. Langston b. Curtis Axel/Ryback – World’s Strongest Slam to Axel

Total Divas b. Team AJ – Torture Rack backbreaker to Summer Rae

Damien Sandow b. Dolph Ziggler – You’re Welcome onto a trashcan

CM Punk/Daniel Bryan vs. Wyatt Family went to a double disqualification when everyone brawled in the ring

Xavier Woods b. Heath Slater – Lost in the Woods

John Cena/Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio/Randy Orton – STF to Del Rio

 

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Survivor Series 2013 Preview

It’s the fourth biggest show of the year and there’s actually a card for it now!As usual we’ll start on the pre-show.  I see absolutely no reason for Miz to lose here.  He’s coming off a heel turn and he’s against the jobber to end all jobbers in Kofi, so we’ll take what should e obvious here and say Miz wins.

 

Continuing the trend of easy picks, Big Show loses to Orton.  It’s obvious they’re setting up HHH vs. Big Show at TLC because if there’s one thing this company needs, it’s more Big Show.  Orton will be in trouble but come back somehow and cheat to win.  I could see a scenario where Big Show wins and HHH goes to take the title from him but I don’t think they’ll go there.

 

Cena over Del Rio of course, which will likely set up a third match between them at TLC.  Why WWE thinks anyone wants to see that is beyond me, but they make some very strange decisions in the main event scene at times.

 

Langston retains the title in the rematch.  I don’t think this really needs an explanation.

 

I’m going to go with what seems like the logical move and say Punk and Bryan beat the Wyatts.  The money to this feud is in Bray vs. the stars and it wouldn’t make sense having the Family get the win.  That being said, I wouldn’t be complaining if they did because those two could easily be a nice fixture in the tag division.  Punk and Bryan win but it’s a struggle.

 

Total Divas win because WWE thinks that’s what the people want to see.  Then again I’ve said that for months now and haven’t been right yet.

 

That leaves us with the traditional Survivor Series match which is a hard one to pick.  I’m going to go with the good guys here in a tossup.  The problem here is Roman Reigns, who just does not lose in WWE.  Unless he gets DQ’d or counted out, I can’t imagine him being eliminated.  On the other hand, I just can’t see the Real Americans and Shield winning overall.  I’ll take the tag champions, Usos and Rey but I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m wrong.

 

Overall the show looks better than it did a week ago but it doesn’t come off as important.  Usually, and as is the case here, a show is only as good as its top match.  Big Show vs. Orton is one of the weakest main events I can remember in a long time and that’s a bad sign for the rest of the show.  Survivor Series can work as a major show but WWE seems inept at making it one.  The show should be decent but it’s not going to wow anyone.




Smackdown – November 22, 2013: Luke Harper Is Something Special

Smackdown
Date: November 22, 2013
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before Survivor Series and we’ve more than doubled the announced matches since Monday. The main story coming out of Raw is the return of Rey Mysterio ahead of schedule from his knee injury. He’ll be the fifth main in one of the Survivor Series elimination matches on Sunday even though the word on the street is he’s not ready yet. It’s hard to say if we’ll see him tonight or not. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence. We haven’t had that in awhile.

Mysterio is in a six man tag tonight with the Usos against Shield. Makes sense to give him a lighter load like that.

Tag Titles: Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Real Americans

Cesaro and Swagger are challenging. This is due to the Americans winning a match over the champions last month because it takes WWE awhile to get around to such things. Goldust and Swagger get things going with Swagger sending him in the corner but getting caught by a dropkick. Off to Cody for a missile dropkick and the release front suplex for two on the now legal Cesaro. Back to Goldie as the champions start working on the arm.

The champions make some fast tags to stay on Cesaro’s arm before a running knee the chest gets two for Cody. A pair of rollups get the same but Cesaro backdrops him to the apron where a Swagger distraction lets Antonio kick Cody to the floor. We take a break and come back with Cesaro holding a standing chinlock. A clothesline puts Cody down and it’s of to Swagger for a belly to belly suplex for two. The running Vader Bomb sets up Cesaro’s double stomp for two before Cesaro catapults Rhodes into a Swagger suplex/powerslam for two more.

Cesaro hooks another chinlock but Cody backdrops an invading Swagger to the floor. Rhodes is about to make a hot tag but Jack pulls Goldust down to the floor in a smart move. Swiss Death gets two on Cody and the challengers are getting frustrated. Cody tries his sunset flip out of the corner but Cesaro powers him back up onto the ropes in a very unique counter. Rhodes kicks him away and hits the moonsault press to put both guys down. Nice sequence there.

Double tag brings in Goldust and Swagger with the champion taking over via his signature stuff. He rains down punches in the corner and gets two off a powerslam as Cesaro makes the save. Both Americans are on the floor so Goldust backdrops Cody down on top of them. Goldust goes up top but gets slammed down on his face, setting up the Patriot Lock. Swagger drags him away from the ropes but Cody breaks it up with the Disaster Kick. Cesaro comes back in with the Cesaro Swing to Cody for a ridiculous 27 seconds. Goldust clotheslines Antonio to the floor and hits the Final Cut on Jack to retain at 9:44 shown of 13:14.

Rating: B. That might be a bit high but I was digging this match. The ending had me thinking the titles could change when Swagger pulled him away from the ropes and the kick was timed perfectly. Cody and Goldust are on fire right now and having great matches with anyone they work with. Really good opener here.

Ryback is in the ring to issue an open challenge. He says being a bully isn’t a bad thing and he enjoys being one very much. Ryback issues the challenge again and some music hits before he can even finish.

Ryback vs. Great Khali

Khali wins a quick chop off before taking Ryback into the corner for some chops to the back. A clothesline puts Ryback on the floor but he comes back in to stomp Khali down in the corner. Ryback runs into an elbow in the corner followed by some clotheslines and the big chop for two. The Meathook puts Khali down and the Shell Shock is good for the pin at 3:20.

Rating: D+. Not a terrible power match here as Ryback is getting more and more impressive with that Shell Shock every time. That being said, it’s not going to matter if he keeps alternating wins and losses. Also it’s not like beating Khali means much. Heath Slater pinned him nearly clean a few months back which should tell you everything you need to know about him anymore.

Vickie comes up to AJ in the back and blames Brad Maddox for everything on Raw. She reiterates everything AJ should know about Survivor Series and puts AJ in a handicap match against the Funkadactyls. AJ claims an ankle injury but Vickie makes the match anyway. It’s best for business you see. Apparently so is mocking someone who works harder than anyone in the division and collapsed at a show in a match where she’s supposed to be the heel despite being cheered over the soulless Bellas who come off as the most stuck up evil women imaginable every time they’re on their reality show which most wrestling fans don’t watch.

We get a clip from the History of the WWE DVD with Bruno Sammartino talking about the peak of his career, including comments from Ivan Koloff and Ken Patera (looking nothing like he did as a wrestler).

Video of John Cena at Oxford University. This didn’t air on the American version of the show for some reason.

Funkadactyls vs. AJ Lee

The Funky ones don’t have to tag so they dropkick AJ out to the floor. AJ tries to leave but the Funkadactyls knock Tamina down and drag AJ back to the ring. Tamina takes Cameron down and AJ gets a near fall off a neckbreaker to Naomi. The announcers ignore the match because JBL accidentally said “Funkerdactyls”, which apparently is the funniest thing ever. Naomi hits an enziguri and the Rear View gets the pin at 2:25.

Bray Wyatt talks about seeing memories that aren’t his own. The world needs more revolutionaries and more revolutions, but no one can understand that because Punk and Bryan make eyes light up whenever they enter a room. Punk and Bryan are just men who breathe and bleed like anyone does but the people revere them like they’re some kind of saviors. Bray’s father told him as a child that the meek shall inherit the earth, but they are the reapers who walk. Follow the buzzards. Creepy and bizarre as always but it made sense.

Shield vs. Usos/Rey Mysterio

Dean and Jimmy start us off with Uso winning a slugout in the corner and dragging Ambrose over for a tag of to Jey. JBL talks about the great debuts in Atlanta and lists off the NWO as starting here. He’s usually better at history than that. Shield starts their fast tags with Rollins and Ambrose taking their shots until Jimmy tags in Jey so the twins can clear the ring. The stereo dives take Rollins and Ambrose out in the usual cool visual.

Back inside and Jey misses a high cross body to give Rollins two and we take a break. Back with Rollins hitting a knee to the head to knock Jey into the Shield corner. Ambrose hooks an arm trap choke before Reigns comes in with a suplex for two. Rollins whips Jey into the corner and talks some trash, only to miss a charge into the corner. Reigns breaks up a hot tag attempt and lays Jey out with a spinout belly to back suplex for two.

Roman misses a charge into the post and the hot tag brings in Mysterio to clean house. Everything breaks down and Reigns spears both Usos down but Rey hurricanranas him out to the floor. Ambrose comes in with a clothesline as Rollins dives over the top rope to take out the Usos. Rey sends Ambrose into the ropes for the 619 and the top rope splash for the pin at 8:47 shown of 12:17.

Rating: C. Just a welcome home match for Rey who looked decent but not much more than that. Shield still looked good out there and there’s no shame in losing to a Hall of Famer like Mysterio. As usual though, Reigns looks like a star out there with the spears to both Usos and some nice power displays throughout the match. He’s going to be huge.

Here’s Big Show (who has changed his clothes since he was seen standing in the hallway) to say he came back to torture the Authority. The best way he can do that is rearranging the face of the WWE and become the new WWE Champion. He’ll lay it all on the line at Survivor Series but here’s Orton to interrupt before Show can elaborate. Orton promises to hurt Big Show on Sunday and end his career, but Big Show wants him to come say that in the ring.

We get a clip from Raw of the Authority telling Orton that he has to win on his own to gain their confidence. Big Show talks about how Orton has all the talent in the world and should have been a locker room leader years ago. Instead it’s always been about what’s best for Randy Orton. On Sunday, Orton is all alone and Big Show will prove how much of a spoiled brat Orton is. Randy says he can beat him, so Big Show pulls up a video of him chokeslamming Orton through the announce table. The segment was well done, but I still don’t care to see the match at all.

R-Truth turns into Pretty Ricky to shill merchandise. To say this is a bad stereotype is an understatement.

Big E. Langston/Dolph Ziggler vs. Curtis Axel/Damien Sandow

Axel gets his rematch on Sunday. Ziggler dropkicks Sandow down to start but gets taken into the corner so the heels can double team. Axel goes after Langston because he’s not that bright, allowing Dolph to hit a jumping DDT to put Curtis down. The hot tag brings in Langston to clean house but Axel breaks up the Big Ending on Sandow. Ziggler lays out Axel with a Fameasser and the Big Ending finishes Sandow at 2:38.

Post match Langston chases Axel off again.

Video on the Wrestlemania ticket launch party.

Various celebrities are here.

Del Rio is in the back and we get a video recapping his feud with Cena. This includes clips of Cena getting the better of Alberto on Raw, but Del Rio says he wasn’t ready. He’ll be ready on Sunday though and will bring the World Title home.

WWE fans think Natalya has the most devastating submission hold over Punk, Bryan and Del Rio. That sounds very odd.

There was a Prime Time Players vs. 3MB match taped and scheduled to air here but there’s no reference to it at all.

Daniel Bryan vs. Luke Harper

Harper drives him into the corner to start but Bryan scores with a few kicks to send the big man outside. We take a break and come back with Bryan being whipped into the barricade. Harper sends him into the steps as well before slowly taking it back inside. Bray shouts at him to stay on Bryan but Daniel takes him down with some kicks and a dragon screw leg whip. Bryan tries to keep up the momentum but charges into a Michinoku Driver of all things for two.

Daniel moonsaults over him in the corner and hits the running clothesline to put Harper down. The kicks have Harper in trouble but he counters the big kick into a sitout powerbomb for two. The Gator Roll keeps Bryan down and Harper has some scary eyes on display. Bryan scores with a kick to the face to send Harper to the floor for the FLYING GOAT. Bray distracts Bryan, allowing Harper to get in a cheap shot from behind. This brings out Punk, but his distraction lets Daniel roll up Harper for the pin at 7:02 shown of 10:32.

Rating: C+. They’ve got something special with Harper. The guy can hang with anyone in the ring and he’s got a quick finisher that looks awesome. Rubbing elbows with Bryan and Punk is going to do nothing but help him which is the exact idea behind the story. Solid power vs. speed match here and a good sign going forward.

Post match the Wyatts lay out Punk and Bryan to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a tough one to grade as they did a good job building up the PPV but there’s very little on the PPV that sounds interesting. The title scene has nothing at all going for it as Del Rio has no chance to win and Big Show vs. Orton is clearly just a means to get to Big Show vs. HHH. The midcard stuff could be interesting and the show could be pleasant surprise but I’m not going into it with very high hopes.

Results

Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Real Americans – Final Cut to Swagger

Ryback b. Great Khali – Shell Shock

Funkadactyls b. AJ Lee – Rear View

Rey Mysterio/Usos b. Shield – Top rope splash to Ambrose

Big E. Langston/Dolph Ziggler b. Curtis Axel/Damien Sandow – Big Ending to Sandow

Daniel Bryan b. Luke Harper – Small package

 

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 2011: He’s Still Great

Survivor Series 2011
Date: November 20, 2011
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 16,749
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

This show is all about the Rock. Seriously, that’s it. The main event is Rock/Cena vs. Awesome Truth in Rock’s first match in seven years. They totally gave away the announcement of the match before the announcement on Raw but they were trying at leat. This show didn’t sell that well for reasons we’ll get to later. Let’s get to it.

The whole history thing starts us off again, as always. Take a guess as to what the opening video is about.

John Laurinitis welcomes us to the show. That’s all he says so this was a minute wasted, brought to you by one of the Dynamic Dudes.

US Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

Morrison lost FOREVER, then won a match on Raw after Mason Ryan helped, and gets a title match as a result. This was during a bad period where Ziggler had a rock cover of his song which didn’t work at all. Feeling out process to start and the fans want RYDER. This was when Ryder was white hot but WWE decided that crushing him for the sake of Kane and Jack Swagger. Ziggler gets taken down by the arm as the announcers talk about Ryder.

The fans now think this is boring so Dolph jumps over John in the corner and hits a dropkick to take over. Off to a headlock by the champion as the fans still want Ryder. Dolph gets thrown to the floor and Morrison hits a big corkscrew dive to take the champ out. Vickie offers an annoying distraction and Ziggler takes over back inside. Ziggler takes Morrison down and nips up in a good athletic display before hooking a near Crossface.

As the fans chant the same thing I’d expect to hear for the entire show, Ziggler stands around a lot. Morrison misses a charge in the corner and Dolph hits a reverse powerslam for two. The sleeper doesn’t go on and Morrison starts speeding things up with clotheslines and a leg lariat. That gets two and so does a rollup with tights for Ziggler. Morrison kicks Dolph in the head for two and a half and they trade sleepers.

The fans seem to be more behind Ziggler but it’s New York so that’s not shocking. John hits a spinning DDT for two as Vickie puts Dolph’s foot on the rope, which earns her an ejection. Morrison misses a running knee and they rapidly trade near falls. The Flying Chuck misses for Morrison and it’s a Fameasser…..for two. Wow I thought that was it. The running knee hits Ziggler in the face but Starship Pain hits Ziggler’s knees. Zig Zag retains the title.

Rating: B-. I dug this match a lot, annoying crowd aside. Sometimes there’s nothing better you can do than throw two talented guys out there for ten minutes and let them have fun. Ziggler is more or less in the same spot he’s in a year later which is annoying but it’s the way of life in the WWE. Morrison would be gone in eight days which almost knew was coming.

Post match Vickie gets our attention as only she can and hands the mic to Ziggler who says he’d hate to have to follow what you just saw. He says it’s not showing off it you can back it up every night. As Ziggler celebrates, here’s Ryder…who is immediately beaten down. Ryder comes back and hits the Rough Ryder to send Ziggler running. They probably should have changed the title here, but I’m not sure they were sure they wanted to go with Ryder yet or not.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth is defending and this is a lumberjill match. Beth catches a cross body and just drops Eve like she doesn’t care. Eve kicks her down and does her STUPID dancing moonsault but Beth rolls to the floor and calls it stupid. Good for her! Back in and the moonsault hits anyway for two. Eve gets sent to the apron and has to kick away Natalya, allowing the champion to take over.

Off to a reverse chinlock for a bit before Eve counters a wheelbarrow suplex to send Beth into the middle turnbuckle. Eve hits a kick to the face but a rolling flip hits knees. The Glam Slam is countered and Eve hooks a freaky kind of Octopus Hold before shifting to a modified triangle choke. Eve has to chase off some evil chicks but manages to kick Beth in the head. The moonsault gets broken up though and the Glam Slam off the middle rope retains Beth’s title.

Rating: C. Not terrible here and the ending looked awesome. I loved Beth and Natalya’s heel run together as they HATED the stupid Barbie stuff that chicks like Kelly and Eve were doing because it’s almost embarrassing at times. This particular match started slow but once it picked up it got a lot better.

Otunga comes in to annoy Punk and says Cole deserves an apology from some attack by Punk. Punk says let me go become world champion first.

Rock is in the back and he’s got a mic. He talks about MSG (no FINALLY for some reason) and being here in the 70s, watching his grandfather fighting for the world title. Then in the 80s he hung out with Andre the Giant in the locker room. Then in 1996 he debuted in the WWF, and despite having a hideous outfit and the worst haircut known to man (his words), the fans chanted his name. That’s correct actually and they didn’t even tell him to die. Rock runs us through his history of catchphrases and title wins, with the most important being him becoming the People’s Champion.

There’s FINALLY and he has to stop for a chant. He does his stupid boots catchphrase before moving on to his partner: John Cena. The fans think Cena sucks but Rock talks about the things that have happened in MSG like Ali vs. Frazier. Then he sings some Frank Sinatra and asks the fans to sing with him. It’s on tonight and that’s about it. This is what the fans wanted and he could have had them say anything he wanted here. That’s what Rock is great at and it worked.

Team Barrett vs. Team Orton

Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger, Hunico, Dolph Ziggler

Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston, Sheamus, Mason Ryan, Sin Cara

Ziggler is subbing for an injured Christian. There’s no real reason for most of these guys other than needing four midcard faces and heels to fill out the teams. Cody is IC Champion. Kofi and Bourne are tag champions here but Bourne is on a Wellness violation. Kofi and Ziggler start things off with Ziggler hitting a quick elbow to take Kofi down. The reverse powerslam is countered and Dolph gets one off a dropkick.

Kofi’s SOS is countered so it’s a forearm to take Dolph down instead. There’s the tag to Orton and an RKO eliminates Ziggler quickly. To be fair he had a match earlier so this isn’t a bad thing for him. Barrett has a huddle on the floor with his team but Orton wants to fight some more. Back in and it’s most of Team Orton to clear the ring before Kofi and Cara try stereo flip dives. Cara, being the klutz that he is at this point, trips on the top rope and rips his knee apart, putting him in the shelf for the next seven months.

The match stops for a few moments as we’re told Cara is eliminated. We get back to normal and it’s Cody vs. Randy now. Orton grabs the arm and it’s off to Ryan. Prepare for a trainwreck. Ryan hits some very basic stuff including a knee to the chest before Cody bails to the floor. Hunico gets the tag but Ryan has to literally pull him in. Off to Kofi whose tights look like they have the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man on them if you don’t look too long.

Kofi misses a charge in the corner and it’s off to Barrett for a chinlock. Back up and it’s a double clothesline to put them both right back down. Double tag brings in Hunico vs. Ryan with the latter hitting a series of backbreakers and a fallaway slam. Hunico gets gorilla press dropped into the corner for a tag to Cody. There’s the Disaster Kick and the Cross Rhodes (POP) for the pin and elimination.

Off to Sheamus vs. Cody now with the Pale One quickly getting annoyed. He pounds Rhodes down in the corner and hits the ten forearms in the ropes, which they tried to name some Irish word. It lasted about two weeks before they realized it speaks for itself pretty well. Cody tries to low bridge Sheamus but Sheamus lands on the apron. Barrett decks the Irishman and Hunico comes in with a springboard dropkick to the knee.

Cole starts talking about Shawn Michaels for no apparent reason as Sheamus takes out Hunico’s knee as well. Off to Kofi who chops Barrett down a lot but gets kicked in the face after having to deal with Swagger. Upon further review, that IS the Stay Puft Man on Kofi’s trunks. With Barrett mostly dead from the kick, the Wasteland eliminates Kofi. It’s Orton and Sheamus vs. Swagger, Barrett, Hunico and Rhodes.

Orton comes in and tries the Elevated DDT, but Wade drops him to the floor where Hunico hits a suicide dive to take Orton out. Swagger comes in to pound on Orton a bit before Cody comes in for a release gordbuster. That gets two and it’s off to a chinlock for a bit. A bulldog by Cody is easily countered and it’s hot tag to Sheamus. The Pale One pounds on Swagger and hits the top rope shoulder and the Irish Curse. Swagger escapes the High Cross so Sheamus drops knees on his head, drawing a DQ when the referee gets to five. They were really trying to keep Sheamus strong here and that mostly worked.

Before Sheamus leaves, he takes Swagger’s head off with a Brogue Kick. Orton gets the easy pin and it’s 3-1. Rhodes comes in and stomps a spent Orton down in the corner but Orton comes back with some clotheslines. There’s the powerslam to Rhodes followed by the Elevated DDT. Randy has to chase off Barrett so Hunico gets a blind tag. He springboards right into the RKO for the elimination to make it 2-1, but Rhodes distracts Orton into the Wasteland to give Barrett the final pin.

Rating: B. This is your usual good formula based Survivor Series match with Orton and Barrett getting to advance their feud and not having Orton lose any face at all. The rest of the teams didn’t mean much but Kofi is perfect for matches like this: he’s got the resume to make him look like a threat but he never steals anyone’s thunder. Good match.

The Bellas hit on Alberto when Ace comes up. Del Rio isn’t worried about Punk tonight. Ace texts someone.

Don’t be a bully!

The ring is reenforced for the next match after Big Show and Henry broke the ring at Vengeance. That’s why the rematch is happening here tonight.

Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Henry is defending. They trade the big dramatic shoves to start and Henry gets shoved to the floor. Back in and Show takes it to the mat which goes a lot better than you would expect it to. If that’s not shocking enough, Show armdrags Henry to the floor. Henry stalls in the corner before going after Show’s knee. Mark lays on the leg a bit and drops some elbows. I think the fans are chanting boring, likely due to New York fans being ridiculous.

A clothesline puts Show down but Show comes back with a DDT for two. Now the fans want Daniel Bryan, who has an MITB case at this point. Show shoulders Henry down and calls for the chokeslam, but Henry kicks him in the knee and hits the World’s Strongest Slam for two. A splash gets the same and Henry is getting frustrated. Booker sums up what Henry should do: give him another World’s Strongest Slam. I’ve never gotten why wrestlers don’t do that. Just because a finisher doesn’t work, it doesn’t mean a second or third won’t work.

The fans want Undertaker as the guys go to the floor. Show gets posted and then tackled through part of the barricade. That finally gets the fans’ attention on the match instead of on guys who aren’t here. Show barely makes it back into the ring in time but he manages to break up another superplex attempt. He busts out a superkick of all things to knock down Henry and draw an HBK chant.

Big Show goes up top (uh oh) and even though he takes forever, he hits a top rope elbow on Henry…..for two. Why do a huge spot like that if it doesn’t end the match? Now it’s a Randy Savage chant. Show loads up the WMD, but Henry kicks him low for the FREAKING LAME DQ to retain the title.

Rating: C+. There’s something awesome about two huge guys beating the tar out of each other and that’s what we got here. Henry was AWESOME in 2011 and made for a great world champion, which is the last thing most people expected. That elbow was great, but to have the match end the way it did sucked. Show would beat Henry the next month, only to have Bryan cash in and win the title 45 seconds later.

Post match Henry tries to Pillmanize Show’s ankle again but Show gets out of the way and knocks Henry out cold. The fans chant for Bryan but no such Goatface appears. Show wraps the chair around Henry’s ankle instead and drops a leg on the chair to break Henry’s ankle.

Barrett says that the world title is next for him but Awesome Truth comes in and demands respect. Truth talks about an argument he had with some pigeons. The pigeons said nothing though, because pigeons don’t talk. Crazy Truth was great.

The New York National Guard is here.

We recap Punk vs. Del Rio. Del Rio cashed in MITB at Summerslam after Punk won, Cena beat Del Rio at Vengeance, Del Rio won a threeway with Punk and Cena in the Cell, tonight is the rematch from Summerslam, if you call that a match.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto is defending. Del Rio has Ricardo Rodriguez introduce him, so CM Punk brings out his own ring announcer: HOWARD FREAKING FINKEL! Round one goes to Punk. Howard waddles out and seems genuinely choked up by the reaction he gets. The fans want ice cream which is a thing he said he wanted in his own image. Feeling out process to start as Punk does his headlock so he can call spots to Del Rio.

Now the fans chant for Colt Cabana. Man these guys just won’t stop. Punk cranks on the arm a bit and Alberto hides on the floor. Back in and Punk knees him down in the corner and hits a dropkick to send the champ back to the floor. There’s the suicide dive from Punk and it’s back in to work on the arm. Alberto sends him into the ropes where Ricardo gets in a shot, allowing Del Rio to take over.

Alberto comes in off the top with an elbow to the head for two and it’s off to the arm for the champion. Both guys have arm finishers which isn’t something you often see. Punk fights out of the hold but can’t hook the GTS as Del Rio hooks a DDT on the arm. The champ drops knees on the arm and we hit about the 8th armbar of the match. Punk breaks that one as well but charges into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two.

CM ducks a charge to send Alberto to the floor and things slow down again. Back in and Punk makes a comeback with a lot of strikes to the head and a neckbreaker for two. The knee in the corner and bulldog get the same but Alberto counters the GTS into a Backstabber for two. A running enziguri in the corner gets a VERY close two on Punk and now it’s Alberto that’s frustrated.

Del Rio loads up a superplex in the corner but Punk knocks him off and loads up the Macho Elbow but gets crotched. Alberto gets in a hard kick to the arm but misses a charge into the post while Punk is still on top. Now the Macho Elbow hits to a big pop but it only gets two. The crowd is really getting into these kickouts now. Punk shouts for the GTS but Alberto counters it for the third time. The armbreaker is escaped but Punk’s high kick misses as well and there’s the armbreaker on full.

After getting as close to tapping as a face is going to, Punk gets his feet in the ropes. Del Rio escapes the GTS for the fourth time because the arm isn’t there. Punk kicks Ricardo in the face and gets rolled up with trunks for two. The high kick gets two for CM so he immediately puts on the Vice and wins Del Rio is in big trouble. He grabs at Punk’s face (realistic, nice) but has to tap and Punk wins the title.

Rating: A. I don’t remember liking this as well the first time but this was a really good match. Del Rio seemed like a real threat to keep the title here as Punk’s arm just wasn’t going to be able to do hit the GTS. The Vice is a little more realistic and I can live with him being able to do that so even the ending is ok. This was a very solid match, but the problem with the story overall is the title changes happening so rapidly.

In short, Del Rio getting two title reigns and Cena getting one out of all this didn’t need to happen. Punk could have won at Summerslam, beaten Del Rio cashing in here, and things would have been much stronger. But hey, that would mean MITB would be interesting instead of there for a shock value and we can’t have that.

Finkel does the “and NEEEEEEEEEEEEEW” WWE Champion call. Punk is the new WWE Champion having won it in the middle of Madison Square Garden and The Fink got to tell the people about it. Is there a cooler moment in wrestling? No, there isn’t.

Punk celebrates for a long time post match. As I’m writing this (November 7, 2012), he’s STILL champion.

Austin has yet another DVD.

We recap Awesome Truth vs. Rock/Cena. Cena had beaten up both guys before a tag match was made for this show. He was told he could pick ANYONE he wanted as a partner so he picked The Great One. Pay no attention to the PPV ad that played at the end of HIAC and advertised the match before Cena officially picked his partner. Basically the only way Awesome Truth (Miz/R-Truth) can win is to have Rock and Cena implode. Other than that we’re looking at a squash.

Awesome Truth vs. The Rock/John Cena

Rock is going to start as Cena is off to kiss the widow of Arnold Skaaland. Miz gets to face Rock to start and the Great One grabs a quick headlock. Rock snaps off some GREAT armdrags and gets two off La Magistral (it’s an armtrap cradle) on Miz. Awesome Truth huddles on the floor and Cena looks impressed. Truth wants to fight Rock now and Rock says Just Bring It. The fans do the Cena dueling chants before Rock hits a fisherman’s suplex on Truth, but Cena is going after Miz, meaning no count.

Now Miz wants to get back in and he wants it to be with Cena. Given how Rock looked, that’s a wise choice. Cena quickly takes over with snapmares, a monkey flip (!!) and a dropkick. The fans boo him out of the building and tell him he still sucks. Off to Truth who walks into Cena’s finishing sequence but Cena tells Rock that he can’t see Cena. They stare each other down, allowing Truth to nail Cena (Rock saw it coming and didn’t do anything) to give the guys with no chance the advantage.

Truth and Miz take a few turns on Cena before Truth hooks a chinlock. Cena gets thrown to the floor by Truth which gets two back in the ring. Back to a leg choke by Truth as the fans want Rocky. Off to Miz who counters an AA into a short DDT for two. The fans seem to be into Miz as he hits his running clothesline in the corner. Truth hooks a front facelock to kill a few moments and it’s back to Miz who gets two off a clothesline.

The spinning legdrop gets two for Truth as the crowd is waiting to explode for Rock’s hot tag. Truth goes up for a cross body but Cena rolls through. His AA attempt is countered into a sitout gordbuster for two and it’s back to Miz. Miz hits a pair of boots to the face of Cena but the third is countered into the STF. Truth makes a quick save and Rock is content to stand on the apron. Cena grabs a quick AA on Truth but Miz knocks Rock off the apron to tease the crowd even further.

Truth drops Rock on the barricade to keep him down as Cena gets put in another chinlock. A double flapjack gets two on Cena and it’s back to the front facelock by Truth. Truth’s second legdrop misses There’s the real hot tag to Rock and house is cleaned in a hurry. Miz gets put in the Survivor Series Sharpshooter but Truth saves as everything breaks down. With Cena and Truth on the floor, Miz goes off on Rock but charges into a spinebuster. The People’s Elbow returns and Rock gets the pin on Miz.

Rating: B. What else were you expecting here? This is one that has indeed changed over time as we knew Rock would have a great match with Cena at Wrestlemania. The match itself was formula stuff which is perfectly fine and all that it should have been. Rock making the save was the right call and there’s almost no complaints at all here. Good match but it didn’t need to happen, which we’ll get to in a bit.

Cena leaves so Rock can have him moment, but Rock calls him back in. Cena’s posing gets booed, Rock’s gets cheered. Rock lays out Cena with a Rock Bottom to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. This is an AWESOME show with a great world title match and a solid main event. The problem was it didn’t sell that well and it’s really clear why: the main event was a bad idea. The whole idea of Rock vs. Cena at Mania was that it was Rock’s first match in 8 years. Well now it’s Rock’s first match in about five months and for what? Rock and Cena had beaten up both guys one on two leading up to the match. There was no doubt as to who was going to win and nothing was on the line, so why watch the match? There was no reason and not a lot of people did. Still though, great show and worth seeing.

That’s the end of the Survivor Series Redo Count-Up and it really was fun to do this. A lot of the shows were about the same the second time around, but one thing is very clear: I was freaking WORDY back in the day. All of these reviews were shorter this time around and that’s probably better. Anyway, I’ll be back for the Rumble, Wrestlemania and Summerslam versions of these. Thanks for reading and supporting me all these years to the point where I can do another set of these. I really appreciate you all.

Ratings Comparison

Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres

Original: C

Redo: C

Team Barrett vs. Team Orton

Original: B-

Redo: B

Big Show vs. Mark Henry

Original: B-

Redo: C+

CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: C+

Redo: A

The Rock/John Cena vs. Awesome Truth

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: A

The World Title really changed things for me here. Still a great show though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/20/survivor-series-2011-rock-still-has-it/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 2010: Here Lies Wade Barrett

Survivor Series 2010
Date: November 21, 2010
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

This is all about the Nexus with the main event of Orton vs. Barrett for the world title with Cena as the referee. If Barrett wins, Cena is free from Nexus. If Orton wins, Cena is fired. Other than that we’ve only got one Survivor Series match which is kind of a letdown but it could be worse. This is one of those shows that doesn’t mean much because of what happens the next night anyway so it’s hard to get into this in a way. This is one of the two Survivor Series I reviewed live so the grades should be interesting. Let’s get to it.

The usual opening video is the video that opens us. The idea tonight is Cena not wanting to compromise his integrity and give the title to Barrett when he doesn’t deserve it, but he doesn’t want to quit. A song about being what you believe plays over this.

US Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Ted DiBiase

DiBiase is challenging here because he wants to win his first title. Simple but effective I guess. Bryan has Rise of the Valkyries here which makes things all the more awesome but the lack of beard hurts. Maryse is with Ted here too and is rocking a beige dress. Bryan speeds things up to start and there go the lights. Daniel dropkicks DiBiase to the apron but as he goes to get Ted, Bryan gets suplexed out to the floor in a cool bump.

Back in and Bryan fires off the kicks. It’s so weird to not hear YES or NO whenever he hits…well anything actually. DiBiase hooks a chinlock to slow the champ down followed by a backbreaker and dropkick for two. Back to the chinlock as the fans are way into Bryan here. This one doesn’t last as long as Bryan fights up and speeds up the pace. There’s the moonsault out of the corner and a dropkick to send DiBiase to the floor. Bryan hits the suicide dive to the floor but he comes up favoring his shoulder. Why is that called favoring? It’s in worse shape than anything else so how is that favoring it?

They head back in and Bryan hits a missile dropkick for two and it’s time for more kicks. The LeBell (NO) Lock can’t go on because of the bad shoulder though and DiBiase clotheslines him down. Dream Street (Cobra Clutch) from DiBiase is countered twice so Ted hits a sitout spinebuster for two. Dibiase’s superplex is countered a belly to back superplex by Bryan but he still can’t get the LeBell Lock. A rollup gets two for Ted and Bryan grabs the arm for the LeBell Lock to retain.

Rating: C+. This felt like an extended Smackdown match but that’s not a bad thing. Bryan was still a pretty big underdog in a lot of his matches at this point but wins like this were exactly what he needed. DiBiase never got over in this role or really in any other either. He’s a guy who needs to change his name as he’s never going to get out from under his dad’s shadow and it’s crippling his career. Well that and WWE never putting him on TV.

As Bryan poses on the stage, Miz and Alex Riley (speaking of guys who need to be on TV more) jump him with the MITB case. Miz and Riley get in the ring but the lights go out again. Miz talks about how he’s from Cleveland and doesn’t like the Miami Heat that much. He compares Barrett to LeBron James because neither will ever be a world champion. The fans chant for the Heat and Miz says he’ll cash in soon. That’s true.

We recap Sheamus vs. Morrison. Sheamus is a bully, Morrison is sick of him. That’s it.

Sheamus says Morrison is jealous of him for being a former and future world champion because Morrison never will be.

Sheamus vs. John Morrison

Jerry tells a story of a guy in high school that kept taking everyone’s lunch money and picking on everyone he could but no one ever stood up to him. Striker: “Was his name Judas? (HUH?)” Jerry: “Actually it was Jerry Lawler.” Your lesson for the day kids: beat up other kids and treat them like trash and you could be a multiple time world champion and get a job on national TV every week and get into the WWE Hall of Fame. But you’d rather be a STAR right?

Cole says Morrison described this match as a tank against a fighter jet. Cole: “Of course Morrison the jet and Sheamus the tank.” What would we ever do without Cole? I’m not sure, but I’m going to go look into it. Anyway Morrison starts fast and dropkicks Sheamus to the floor followed by a corkscrew dive to take the pale one out. Sheamus sends him into the barricade and runs Morrison over with an ax handle.

Back in and we hit the chinlock as the fans aren’t all that into Sheamus at all. A backbreaker gets two for Sheamus and it’s back to a chinlock again, although this one has an armbar added in. Sheamus hits the ten forearms to the chest from a seated position instead of in the ropes. It’s always cool to see the evolution of a move like that. Sheamus puts him on the top and pounds away again but Morrison slugs Sheamus down to the mat. A cross body gets rolled through for two for Sheamus and John is in trouble.

The Brogue Kick misses and Morrison enziguris him down. Morrison is all fired up and hits some clotheslines for two but it’s hard to keep Sheamus down. Irish Curse stops the momentum but it only gets two again. The High Cross is countered into a Russian legsweep for two for Johnny. Sheamus goes after the knee to stop Morrison again. This match really is as back and forth as it sounds. No one has had an extended advantage for the most part.

Sheamus puts the leg over his shoulder and pulls Morrison forward to the mat in a cool looking move that I haven’t seen before. Half crab does more damage for Sheamus but he slaps Morrison in the face a few times to tick him off. John kicks him down but Starship Pain is broken up with ease. The High Cross is countered again and the Brogue Kick misses, allowing Morrison to hit the Flying Chuck and a running knee to the face for the surprise pin.

Rating: B-. These two always have this freakish chemistry that really doesn’t make a ton of sense but is always there. Morrison’s flying style was a great counter to the power stuff from Sheamus, and as usual the idea of power vs. speed works as well as anything else. Morrison would never hit a level that they were hoping for him to, while Sheamus would go on to win the world title at Wrestlemania in a few years. You never know what’s going to happen in wrestling, which is why it’s funny.

Watch Big Show’s movie! No one else has.

R-Truth continues to meddle in Cena’s business and offers to interfere in the main event tonight because you can only win by pin or submission. He offers to attack Orton and Cena will be guilt free. Cena yells at him for suggesting it.

Intercontinental Title: Kaval vs. Dolph Ziggler

Kaval is more famous as Low Ki and won NXT Season 2 to get any title shot he wanted. In his first win, he beat Dolph on Smackdown and picked to challenge for this title tonight. A quick elbow gets two so Dolph takes over with a forearm in the corner. There’s the Hennig necksnap and a mini AA for two for Dolph. A handspring elbow takes Dolph down and Kaval pounds away in the corner until a Vickie distraction lets Dolph take him down.

Kaval comes back with a handspring into a kick to the face in the corner which looked pretty awesome. Kaval goes up with his back to the ring, allowing Dolph to put on a sleeper on the top rope for some reason. Dolph gets knocked back and Kaval misses a big flip dive, allowing Dolph to hit the Fameasser for two. The sleeper goes on (on the mat this time) but Kaval escapes and is launched to the top rope where he springs off and hits a spin kick to the face in ANOTHER awesome looking move. Ziggler misses a charge in the corner and gets rolled up for two before Ziggler gets a rollup of his own with tights to retain.

Rating: C-. Kaval tried here but this crippled whatever he had as far as momentum was going. He would be gone before the end of the year and I can’t say I blame him. The match here was ok enough but the chemistry didn’t click at all. Also, why would you pick a match for the IC Title when you can pick whatever you want?

Jack Swagger doesn’t like the idea about being on Team Del Rio, because it should be Team Swagger. Jack says some stuff about the Spanish being spoken here because he doesn’t habla Espanol. Rhodes, who is still Dashing at this point, comes up and makes fun of Swagger’s shoes. Del Rio, who only mostly sucks at this point, says that he won a bet about Swagger getting interrupted. This goes nowhere.

Team Del Rio vs. Team Mysterio

Alberto Del Rio, Tyler Reks, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Cody Rhodes

Rey Mysterio, Chris Masters, Big Show, MVP, Kofi Kingston

Team Mysterio is all in blue in a nice touch. The fans chant for MVP as he’s the hometown boy. The captains start things off but there’s no contact as Del Rio tags in Rhodes. We start talking about baseball (Striker: “Rickey Henderson may be the greatest baseball player of all time.” Cole and Lawler: “WHAT???”) as Rey hooks an O’Connor Roll for two on Cody. Cody comes back with a Disaster Kick and stomps away in the corner.

Here’s Del Rio again who gets caught in the corner and hit by a hard running dropkick. Off to MVP who hits a dropkick and ducks an enziguri in the corner. This was right around the time when he was getting good, but he would be gone in less than three weeks. Here’s Kofi with some bouncing offense but it’s quickly off to Masters. Lawler does his usual talk about the Clowns vs. Kings back in 94 as Reks and McIntyre take turns beating on Masters.

Drew’s middle rope jumps lands on a boot and Masters can tag in MVP. MVP suplexes McIntyre down and hits the Ballin Elbow, only to fall victim to the Ultimate Warrior/Rick Rude ending from Mania 5 (MVP suplexes Drew but Alberto hooks MVP’s foot and Drew falls on top for a pin). Masters comes back in again and hits a kind of Jackhammer for two. Del Rio avoids the Masterlock and puts on the Armbreaker for the submission to make it 5-3.

Here’s Big Show as the stopper for his team and Del Rio bails, bringing in Swagger. Swagger tries to wrestle him down and is immediately chopped in the chest. A kind of chop block takes Show down and it’s back to Del Rio. Show glares at him again and Alberto tags out to Drew, but before Alberto gets out Show knocks him out cold. With McIntyre down, Show slams Kofi down onto Drew for a two count. Apparently Alberto can’t continue and is eliminated. Cody comes in to face Kingston and Rhodes snaps when he gets hit in the face. He goes on a rant and heads to the floor to check the mirror on the back of his jacket.

Rhodes heads back in and gets hit in the face again. Off to Show who slaps Cody on the back and the KO punch makes it 3-3. It’s Kofi/Rey/Show vs. Reks/Swagger/McIntyre and Reks immediately clotheslines Show down in an impressive move. Swagger comes in to work on the leg and hooks the ankle lock. After nearly tapping, Show crawls over to Rey for the saving tag. Rey speeds things up but Jack kicks his head off for two.

Swagger drills Kofi on the apron before catching Rey’s 619 into the ankle lock. Mysterio rolls through the hold and makes the hot tag to Kofi who cleans house and hits the top rope cross body on Reks for two. Kofi misses a charge in the corner and gets caught in the Tree of Woe. After Kofi gets down, Reks charges into a double boot in the corner for the fast elimination. Swagger comes in almost immediately and catches Trouble in Paradise into the ankle lock to tie things back up. Kofi tapping is a weird sight.

Back to Big Show who uses that large body of his to run Swagger over a few times before Swagger has to lay down so Rey and Show can do the on the shoulders splash. McIntyre breaks up the big splash though and Rey is down. Rey gets placed on the top rope but headbutts Jack down to the mat. The 619 sets up that splash off Show’s shoulders to make it 2-1. Future Shock is countered and it’s a chokeslam from Show for the elimination.

Rating: B-. This was a fine Survivor Series match with both teams working well together. I don’t get the point in having Del Rio eliminated that early, but I guess it allows for Rey vs. Del Rio to happen later on. The match wasn’t a classic but it worked well enough for what it was supposed to be. Decent stuff here and the fans were happy with the ending.

Randy Orton talks about how he’s tired of hearing all of the talk about Cena and Barrett, because tonight it’s either the RKO or the Punt to stop Barrett.

Divas Title: Laycool vs. Natalya

I miss Laycool’s entrance, if nothing else for how they look in the shorts. Laycool are the co champions here as both have belts in a story that wasn’t that interesting in the first place. The champs have to tag here and it’s Michelle to start. Natalya takes it to the mat early on and Michelle actually takes over with the amateur stuff. Off to the hometown heel in Layla who distracts the referee so Michelle can pull Nattie onto the floor.

Back in and Natalya supelxes both chicks at once but her back is hurt in the process. Michelle blasts her in said back on the floor, but Natalya shoves Michelle over the barricade. They all brawl at ringside for a bit before Natalya and Michelle head into the ring. McCool gets rammed into Layla and the Sharpshooter gives Natalya the title.

Rating: D. Here’s this whole feud in a nutshell: Natalya beat up Layla, then Natalya beat up Michelle, then Natalya beat up both of them at once. This wasn’t much of a match but it’s the kind of breather that you have to give the fans before you get to the big stuff later on. Laycool would be around for a few more months, but once they split they fell off the face of the planet all of a sudde.

Beth Phoenix returns to save Nattie from a double beatdown. This would set up a Divas tables match next month.

We recap Kane vs. Edge. Kane beat Taker in the Cell (Today is November 6, 2012 and that match is the last time Smackdown main evented a PPV to date) when Paul Bearer shocked no one and turned on Taker. Edge got this shot by uh……tall. I think he just got the shot because he was on a hot streak. Edge also kidnapped Bearer and tortured him and I don’t think has returned him yet.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Kane

Kane is defending here. Edge wheels out with an empty wheelchair to mess with Kane a bit more. Kane tries a quick chokeslam but Edge punches out of it. Kane sends him to the floor and Edge wheels the chair around a bit more to make Kane mad. A baseball slide sends Kane into the barricade before we head back inside where the Canadian takes out the Spaniard’s leg. He wraps the leg around the post and lays on it for a bit to make sure we don’t get excited.

Kane gets in an uppercut to take over and slugs away slowly. The Big Bald chokes away and yells about Bearer a bit as the fans aren’t really thrilled by this stuff. Granted I question how many fans know Smackdown exists still so it’s a fair problem to have. To really mix things up, Kane puts on a cravate and yells even more. A low dropkick gets two for the champion and it’s back to the trusty cravate. Edge finally gets up and hits a cross body off the top for two.

Kane slugs him down but Edge dropkicks him out of the air on the top rope clothesline attempt. A side slam gets two for Kane and he goes up again. Edge makes the stop but gets crotched and clotheslined down for two. Something resembling a DDT puts Kane down but Edge’s spear hits boot. There’s the chokeslam for two so Kane tries the Tombstone. Edge slips down the back and spears Kane down for the pin and no title, because all four shoulders were down and it’s a draw. Yep, that’s really what they did.

Rating: F+. The ending until the cover wasn’t bad, but other than that this was dull, slow and horrible. These two just did not work well together at all, so of course they had another title match on PPV. Horrible match here as Kane just stood around and held Edge by the neck for LONG stretches of time. Kane would accidentally kill Paul Bearer soon after this. Don’t ask.

Kane beats up Edge post match. Edge comes back and puts Kane in the wheelchair and sends him through part of the barricade.

Barrett tells Cena if he doesn’t help him tonight, Cena is gone. Apparently Nexus started in this building. Cena says he knows what he’s going to do.

Tag Titles: Nexus vs. Vladimir Kozlov/Santino Marella

Slater and Gabriel are the champions here and have Harris/McGillicutty/Otunga with them. Santino and Slater start things off and Marella gets to use some of the martial arts that Kozlov has been teaching him. Off to Gabriel and Kozlov who tags himself in. Remember that two years ago, Kozlov was in the world title match against HHH and now he’s here. That’s quite the fall. Gabriel dives at Kozlov and gets caught in a kind of spinebuster to give the challengers control.

Gabriel gets in a kick to take Koz down and Slater drops a knee for two. Back to Justin for a cravate and then a front facelock. Kozlov is about to get to Santino when Slater draws Cobra Man in. That’s some good old school tag stuff there and it’s awesome. Slater hooks a front facelock of his own but it’s a hot tag to Santino. He hits all of his usual stuff and loads up the Cobra, but the other members of Nexus distract him (not that hard really) and Slater hits the sleeper drop for the pin to retain.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here that wouldn’t be on Raw on any given week. The tag titles were absolutely nothing at this point but then again that could go for any show for a good six year stretch or so. It makes the current tag team resurgence look more impressive as they took it from nowhere to something decent, which is a big deal. The match here was fine but it was another breather for the fans.

Post match the challengers get beaten down again and the Anonymous Raw GM says if Nexus interferes in the world title match, they’re suspended indefinitely.

We recap Orton vs. Barrett. Barrett got the title shot I believe through winning NXT and got Cena to join Nexus through winning at HIAC. Cena hates it and somehow he gets to be the guest referee tonight. If he screws Orton over, he won’t be able to live with himself, but if he doesn’t screw Orton over, Barrett will fire him. This gets the music video treatment of course.

Raw World Title: Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton

Oh and you can only win by pin or submission. Feeling out process to start with Orton grabbing a headlock. A shoulder puts Barrett down and Orton fires away elbows and uppercuts in the corner. Cena finally does something and it’s correct procedure, but the fans boo because it’s against Orton. He goes the same thing to Barrett and Orton hits a dropkick to take over.

We head to the floor where Barrett hits a kick to the ribs to take over. Orton gets sent into the steps and punched down back in the ring. Barrett covers and gets a fair one count. We hit the chinlock for a good while until Orton fights back with his usual comeback stuff. The backbreaker gets two and Orton glares at Cena. Barrett gets in an uppercut and hits a top rope elbow for two.

Barrett hits his pumphandle slam for two and now Barrett glares at Cena too. This is pretty dull stuff so far. Wasteland is countered and there’s a Boss Man Slam (called a Black Hole Slam by Striker) for another close two. The fans do the usual pro/anti Cena chants as Orton hits the Elevated DDT. Barrett gets in a knee to the head and Wasteland hits, but Orton grabs the rope at two. I do love how the idea that Barrett could just win the title on his own is a completely non-factor. Barrett shoves Cena so Cena shoves him back, right into the RKO and the clean pin to fire Cena. Striker: “Cena’s free!” Cole: “Cena’s fired.” Striker: “Oh.”

Rating: D. This barely worked as the focus was entirely on Cena and the match was really dull for the most part. It was someone hitting a move that would be lucky to get two and then glaring at Cena when they didn’t get a pin off of it. Cena was “fired” as a result, but would of course be back on PPV the next month. I don’t think he ever missed a Raw. I like the moment with him counting the pin because that’s him being himself which is the essence of Cena’s character, but the match sucked.

Cena has no idea what to do post match. Nexus runs in and gets beaten down by the Super Best Friends. Cena hands Orton the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The main events sucked but the first half or so of this was fine. The problem with the main event here is the same problem that brought down the whole Nexus angle: Barrett never won the title. Without that, Nexus and Barrett in particular weren’t really big threats but rather guys that annoyed Cena for a few months until he beat them all. Besides, the next night Miz cashed in and won the title after Cena cost Barrett another title shot. This show isn’t really worth seeing but it’s not horrible.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: B

Redo: C+

John Morrison vs. Sheamus

Original: B

Redo: B-

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kaval

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Team Mysterio vs. Team Del Rio

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Natalya vs. Laycool

Original: D+

Redo: D

Kane vs. Edge

Original: D

Redo: F+

Nexus vs. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov

Original: D

Redo: D+

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

Original: D+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

I liked this one WAY better on first viewing. Then again I didn’t know what was coming for Nexus back then.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/19/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2010-when-did-orton-and-barrett-get-good/

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