Monday Night Raw
Date: December 12, 2011
Location: Norfolk Scope Arena, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the Slammys! I used to love these things when I was a kid and they were so campy and entertaining. Now they’re just kind of here and they’re usually a way to have some minor stories set up for the next few weeks/months. The main event tonight is Cena vs. Henry, which somehow is a pretty big showdown. It’s also the go home show for TLC, which is kind of a minor aspect given the three hour nature of this. Let’s get to it.

We open with a Slammy presentation. This is for the Tell Me I Did Not Just See That Moment of the Year. Booker presents it…along with Horny. Horny has an afro wig and keeps doing chest bumps with Booker.

The nominees are:

JR dancing
Santino almost winning the Royal Rumble
A fan throws water at R-Truth
Miz impersonates Rock

It’s JR dancing. I can live with that as that was pretty awesome. JR comes out…and here’s Cole to cut him off because that’s what Cole does. Cole says JR is fat and Booker calls him a loser. Strap in people: Cole vs. Booker can go on for HOURS. Booker says JR can beat Cole in a rap off. Cole’s is awful and I think everyone expected that. JR says he doesn’t need music. His actually has something resembling a rhythm to it and there’s music to it anyway. And then he stops rhyming all together. Guess who the fans say win. This very well may have been the worst opening in the history of professional wrestling.

Oh and JR does a Spinarooni. Ok more like he looks like he has a heart attack and convulses on the mat for a bit.

Here are Foley and Ted DiBiase Senior to present the Holy Censored Moment of the Year. This pairing is about as awesome as anything in the history of, ahem, Mankind. They try to figure out why they’re paired together. DiBiase says that he is an ordained minister. Foley: “So if that makes you the holy, then I guess that makes me the…..” DiBise: *EVIL LAUGH*

The nominees are:

Sheamus powerbombs Sin Cara through a ladder
The RKO to a leaping Christian onto the steps
The ring breaking
Evan Bourne’s shooting star off the ladder

Gee I wonder what’s going to win. If you can’t figure this out, you fail. Show comes out to accept and thanks the Sports Entertainment Academy of Arts and Sports. He thinks the World Heavyweight Championship would look good next to the Slammy. Nice little promo for the match on Sunday and for his match which is next.

Big Show vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett says what he’ll do to Orton at TLC will earn him that award Big Show just won. Then again that award is for something unexpected and everyone knows what he’s going to do to Orton. After a break we’re joined in progress with Barrett on the floor trying to get up. There’s a table set up at ringside now. There’s also a chair and a ladder. Barrett avoids going through the table and hits a big boot to put Show’s head on the table.

Show gets up as Barrett is ready to jump and then the bald man breaks the table. With Barrett on the apron on the outside, Show chops him in the chest and knocks him into the ring. Barrett goes to the floor and brings in a chair. Show knocks it out of his hands….and wins by DQ at 1:38? It’s going to be one of those nights isn’t it?

Of all people, the Road Dogg is doing this one. Yes, that Road Dogg. He’s in a DX shirt and is doing the Pipe Bomb of the year, which I think is the weird moment of the year.

There aren’t any real nominees but more along the lines of a bunch of R-Truth moments plus a hand full of others. This is just a big comedy montage for all intents and purposes, which is a great reminder of some stuff, namely Punk and Truth. The winner is…..CM Punk. Ok I can live with that.

Punk comes out with….a mannequin? It’s got a blonde wig and a t-shirt that says…..OH MY GOODNESS IT’S A DYNAMIC DUDES SHIRT!!!!! Punk says that he wants to talk about something tonight that is a special cause. This person works behind the scenes and is incredibly boring, just like this mannequin. Naturally it’s Johnny Ace and Punk has a tribute video. It’s set to a song that I’ve heard before but can’t place. We get Dynamic Dudes clips in there too which makes this worth a smile. After the video Punk is trying not to crack up. He accepts the award on Punk’s behalf and does a decent impression of him.

Lita is here to present the Divalicious Moment of the Year. Yep she’s still hot. I don’t think half the people know who she is.

The nominees are:

natalya putting the Sharpshooter on Eve and I think Alicia.
Kelly winning the Divas Title.
Kharma destroying Michelle.
Beth’s top rope Glam Slam to Eve.

Of course it goes to Kelly because she’s supposed to be some kind of female hero or something. Beth comes out to take the award from her and gets slapped.

Santino presents the OMG Moment of the Year. The Bellas are with him and they look good in those red dresses. After an argument over whether it’s o-m-g or OMG (pronounced like a word), here are the nominees.

HHH tombstones the Undertaker.
Rock Bottom to Cena at Mania.
The Walk Out.
Punk Leaves With The Title.

HHH wins. Are you freaking kidding me? He makes his big return with the hammer…and walks to the ring without his award. HHH says the real OMG moment was having Taker carried out for the first time in his career. He says the Undertaker is no more. HHH takes credit for ending the Streak. Are you kidding me? We get the video of Nash hitting him with the hammer a few months ago.

He says that maybe their 16 year relationship was based on lies and this Sunday all the lies and deceptions end. On Sunday he’ll show the world that he’s right and that Nash is simply done. Well he was done 13 years ago. Do we really need a match for that? HHH leaves and implies he’ll hit Santino with the hammer but lets him run instead.

Otunga and Tony Atlas are here for the Trending Superstar of the Year. Tony does the laugh as Otunga tries to be serious. The award goes to whichever superstar listed is trending on Twitter the fastest. Get this over with. They’ll be in a fatal fourway with the winner of the match meaning nothing but the first to be trending winning the Slammy.

Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder

Or is the winner of the match the winner of the award? Do they have any idea what’s going on here? Ryder and Bryan send the champs to the floor and hit stereo dives as we take a break. Back with Ryder and Bryan squaring off and they change the rules AGAIN, saying that it’s whoever trends first. THEN WHY HAVE THE MATCH??? Bryan and Ryder have a decent back and forth segment with them hitting cross bodies to put them both down.

Rhodes and Ziggler tease a staredown but think better of it so they can stomp the good guys. They get in a shoving match and Bryan tries to steal a pin. Rhodes and Bryan have a LONG pinfall reversal sequence but Bryan is sent to the floor. Ryder follows him and Ziggler tries to roll up Rhodes. Alabama Slam to Dolph gets two. They take a second break with Cody standing tall.

Back with Rhodes having Ryder in a Figure Four which doesn’t last long. Rhodes charges into some knees in the corner but Dolph breaks up the Broski Boot. Everyone is in the ring and everyone goes down. Beautiful Disaster hits Ziggler for two and Bryan goes off with the rapid fire kicks to Cody. Bryan goes up but gets crotched. Ziggler gets drilled by Ryder but stops Ryder as he goes up. Both heels hit superplexes and everyone is down again. Rough Ryder to Ziggler, Cross Rhodes to Ryder, LeBell Lock to Rhodes, Sleeper to Bryan, Zig Zag to Bryan and that gets the pin at 15:22.

Rating: B-. Fun match but as Lawler said, the match wasn’t important. What was important was trending on Twitter. That right there sums up almost everything that is wrong with Raw anymore. They’re so obsessed with getting people to notice them and accept them because they’re trending on Twitter 50 times a night and they have to tell us they’re trending on Twitter 50 times a night and it drives people crazy. And they wonder why no one buys their PPVs and why no one is watching their shows.

Ryder wins the award, because the match was pointless. He gets a Zig Zag for his efforts.

Christian returns to present Game Changer of the Year. He gives himself courageous moment of the year first of all. This is for one moment that changes everything. Here are the nominees.

HHH telling Vince and the pink jacket that he’s relieved of his duties.
Edge’s retirement speech.
Kevin Nash returns.
Rock and Cena making the main event of Mania a year early.

Cena and Rock win, as they probably should. Cena says he should only get half of the credit for this and introduces Rock. Oh wait this is a live show so he’s not here. “But he said he’d never leave!” We do have a satellite clip though. Oh wait no we don’t because he didn’t have time for that either. “This is worse than JR’s rap.” He apologizes for Team Bring It for not bringing it. However, this makes the award mean more because Rock is going to see this soon and hopefully it fires him up even more. This award is for changing the game for a year, but at Mania they change the game forever.

Alberto Del Rio/The Miz vs. CM Punk/Randy Orton

Punk vs. Miz starts us off. Off to Del Rio vs. Orton quickly and the Viper gets beaten down by both heels. We’re in standard tag formula mode quickly tonight. Punk gets a hot tag quickly and cleans house but the GTS is broken up, allowing Miz to guillotine Punk on the ropes as we take a break. Back with Punk backsliding Miz for two. Del Rio comes in and works over the arm a lot.

This is your usual main event style tag match: it’s the same formula with one guy getting beaten down for a long time until the other big face comes in off a hot tag and cleans house to set up the ending. The Finale and the GTS are countered but Punk’s kick to the head of Miz can’t get the tag. Barrett runs in through the crowd to take out Orton. Miz can’t hit the corner clothesline but he counters the GTS into the Finale for the clean pin on Punk at 12:42. Forget what I said about the formula I guess.

Rating: C-. The ending was a VERY nice surprise and it gives some heat to the main event on Sunday, which is certainly a good thing. Not a horrible match but Del Rio and Miz are pretty weak in the ring. Del Rio is boring all around but that goes without saying. It helped to push the title match though so that made it a lot better.

Miz and Del Rio beat up Punk post match and he gets put in the armbreaker using the ladder.

Vickie presents A-Lister of the Year. And here’s Goldust to present with her. He says she wears more makeup than she does.

The nominees are:

The Muppets
Hugh Jackman
Snooki
Cee-Lo Green

And it goes to Snooki because the WWE is stupid. She gives a pre-recorded message.

Mark Henry says he’ll do more to Big Show Sunday than he has already.

Here’s Sheamus but he’s interrupted by Jinder Mahal. Ok then. He rambles for awhile and gets his head kicked off. That’s it. There’s a referee there but there was no bell and no cover or anything.

Rey Mysterio comes out to present Superstar of the Year. The nominees are:

Orton
Miz
Henry
Punk
Del Rio
Cena

Ace comes out and accepts for him because he’s banged up.

Second Coming video. The word control flashes on the screen to end this.

We hear a story about a soldier in Afghanistan that hugged Vince when she saw him and opened her phone to show him her son with a WWE Title belt. Her son and husband are in the front row. That’s cool.

Mark Henry vs. John Cena

This is due to Cena costing Henry a win last week over Ryder. The bell rang at 1055 so this isn’t going to last long. We go to a break less than a minute in. Back with Henry in control,. Cena tries a slam but falls backwards. Off to a neck vice but Cena suplexes his way out of it. He hits the Shuffle but collapses on an AA attempt which gets two for Mark. Henry calls Cena Mr. USA I think.

Cena avoids a powerslam and hammers away but the shoulders don’t put Henry down. Instead Cena jumps into a bearhug and he’s in trouble. He escapes for a few seconds and hits the Slam but falls down afterwards. Then some fire goes off and KANE is back. He has a modified version of the old music and looks like he’s wearing a metal mask. He chokeslams Cena and I guess it’s thrown out at we’ll say 9 minutes. The mask looks ridiculous, but he takes it off post chokeslam to reveal a more traditional one. There’s Cena’s match for Sunday I guess.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but the end was the whole point of it. Kane was someone that needed to return, if nothing else to give Cena something to do on Sunday. The mask being back….why? His video has the shot of him not in a mask, but he’s wearing one here. I don’t get it, but that sums up most of WWE at this point for me.

Overall Rating: D+. This show didn’t do it for me. I mean it really didn’t do it for me. The awards were pretty weak and while there were a few nice surprises, they didn’t really help get the show going, at least not for me. It wasn’t bad and I’ve definitely seen worse stuff, but this didn’t do much. The crowd didn’t care but I think that’s due to the nature of the show more than anything else. Too much talking too and not a good show overall, but it had its spots. Nice surprise at the end too.

Results
Big Show b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Barrett used a chair
Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes and Zach Ryder – Zig Zag to Bryan
The Miz/Alberto Del Rio b. Randy Orton/CM Punk – Skull Crushing Finale to Punk
John Cena vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when Kane interfered

Here’s TLC if you’re interested:

 

Smackdown
Date: October 21, 2011
Location: Mexican Sports Palace, Mexico City, Mexico
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

It’s the final night of shows in Mexico and it’s also the final show before the PPV. I’m not really sure what else they’re going to add to the show as I think they have six or seven matches on the card so far. That being said, we could use some more build for most of the matches, primarily because there were only three weeks of build for this show. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is 3 PPVs in 6 Sundays for WWE alone.

Here’s Alberto to open the show. Naturally he’s a huge face here in Mexico. Ah there’s the commentary. Nothing had been said for over two minutes. I didn’t know Cole had it in him. Tonight Alberto was supposed to face Big Show but due to Cena’s attack on Monday, that can’t happen. I wonder if the fans chuckle at being told that dinner is attacking people. He wanted to perform for his Mexico but he can’t do that now. Alberto speaks some Spanish, talking about wanting to be the best Mexican ever and that’s about it.

As he’s leaving, here’s Teddy to interrupt him. Alberto has been checked out by WWE doctors and they say all is well. Teddy thinks that Alberto is trying to get out of the match, so tonight Alberto will indeed face Big Show. Alberto says he’ll make Show tap so Teddy asks the fans if they want to see the match. Uh…why?

As Teddy is leaving and Alberto is still in the ring, here’s Henry. We go to a graphic for the mask vs. mask match tonight and there’s no commentary still. I don’t know what’s going on with that. We get a clip of Henry hurting Morrison on Monday. The rest of the audio is fine so I don’t know where the commentary is. I heard them earlier.

John Morrison vs. Mark Henry

Decent pop for Johnny. Morrison is shoved to the floor quickly and then has his head shoved against the post like a vice. The commentators don’t seem to be doing anything. Back inside it’s time for a neck crank and we take a break. Back with Morrison in mid-flight on Starship Pain for two. He tries a baseball slide through Henry’s legs but gets stomped on. The Slam ends this at 2:05 shown of 5:15.

Rating: C-. Just a squash here for the most part but I’m digging this no commentary thing. I don’t know if it’s something with the version I’m watching or what but it’s kind of a nice change of pace. Morrison’s depush continues as it looks like he’s on his way out, especially given the way most others were treated similarly on their ways out. Nothing to see here.

Christian and Vickie are in the back and Vickie talks about being friends with Johnny Ace. Vickie wants Christian to join her team. Teddy comes in and makes Christian vs. Sheamus at the PPV. Christian leaves so Teddy makes Dolph vs. Ryder for the US Title. That means Dolph is wrestling twice, which they point out. Ryder comes in with a catchphrase, making Vickie scream.

The announcers talk about Sin Cara vs. Sin Cara. Ok so they can talk. I guess the first match was just an error? They talk about the mask vs. mask match tonight and how it’s a battle of the Sin Caras. We hear about how Black had his identity stolen by Blue and tonight it’s about who the real Sin Cara is. Having this in Mexico is brilliant.

(I flipped on the regular airing on TV and the commentary was there for the first match. I guess it was just the version I was watching not working.)

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Commentary sounds fine now. We get a quick promo from Barrett, talking about how tonight will be the beginning of the Great Barrett Uprising and how he doesn’t need to have anyone by his side anymore. Bryan isn’t going to shave until Mania. That’s some high level reporting there guys. Wasteland is countered into a crucifix a few seconds in. LeBell Lock is countered and there’s a Boss Man Slam for two. NICE big boot puts Bryan on the floor.

Off to a chinlock for a few seconds but Bryan gets back into things with a missile dropkick for two. Another big boot by Barrett gets two and it’s off to a bow and arrow hold. A forearm puts Barrett down and Bryan does the, and I’m not making this up, Ultimate Warrior rope shake on his way up. Barrett takes him down again and hits the pumphandle slam for two. Bryan goes up but jumps into Wasteland for the pin at 5:11.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun stuff here, especially for only about five minutes. They hit a lot of stuff here and it was a pretty hard hitting match on top of that. These two have some solid chemistry together, but it’s been awhile since either guy has been on the show. I wonder why that is.

Sheamus/Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler/Christian

As always it’s cool to see the two feuds at once thing. Ryder vs. Ziggler to start but Christian comes in quickly. Ryder grabs a rollup for two and I’m already sick of him being called the Woo Woo Woo Kid. A dropkick gets two for Dolph. Off to Christian who gets a decent heel reaction. Cole is yelling at Booker about softballs or something. There’s a double tag to Sheamus and Ziggler. Josh actually talks about it as he has to shout over his partners. Irish Curse gets two on the champ. Christian runs and the Zig Zag fails, allowing the Brogue Kick to end Ziggler at 3:58.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here but it was nice to see both feuds getting TV time at once. However, there wasn’t much here from both pairings directly against each other which hurt things a bit. Still though, this wasn’t too bad so I can’t really complain much. As crazy as it sounds, Ryder could become US Champion on Sunday. That’s hard to believe but it’s realistic.

During the break, Christian speared Sheamus on the stage.

Here’s Cody in the ring. We get a clip from a few weeks ago with Orton taking Cross Rhodes and being bagged. He talks about being infected by the Viper’s blood and now let’s talk about Dusty. Dusty told Cody that people are inherently evil and after years of Orton holding Rhodes down, he got his release a few weeks ago by bagging Randy. Rhodes says this time he’s the one with everything going for him while Randy is just the same old guy with the same old tricks.

He calls out Orton and wants an admission from Randy, saying he was wrong about Cody. That brings out the Viper (I really hope some new fan isn’t reading this stuff because all the names might get confusing) who says Cody has cost him the title twice. The injury from the ring bell will pale in comparison to what he has planned on Sunday. Randy wants a preview but the baggers distract Randy long enough for Cody to take over. Cody gets backdropped to the floor and a bagger gets the elevated DDT. Another bagger makes the save but gets his head stomped into the steps. The one that got the DDT takes an RKO as well.

Black Sin Cara has a Blue mask on and that’s next. Seriously, that isn’t the main event? From what I can find, it was taped last and aired at this time instead. That’s pretty logical.

Sin Cara vs. Sin Cara

This is a regular mask but the loser has to unmask. To avoid confusion, I’ll be calling them blue and black. Blue gets a BIG ovation and is clearly fired up to be here. There’s a big Mistico chant to start things off. Cole explains the story which makes sense, although I don’t think many people outside of America care. Black is sent to the floor and there’s a big dive off the top to the floor.

Another one in the ring gets two. Blue tries to speed things up but messes up a springboard move, getting caught in the ribs by a dropkick instead. Black is sent to the floor and we take a break. Back with a backbreake getting two on Blue. Black takes it to the mat and hooks the leg in a submission and then into a booed camel clutch. After some more time on the match, Blue fights back for just a few seconds before going back down again.

Black goes after the mask but Blue fights him off. Black hits a Jeff Hardy slingshot dropkick to Blue in the corner but a charge misses and both guys are down. Blue busts out some of his high flying stuff and I think we get an edit but I’m not sure. A pair of rollups get four which isn’t three. Black hits a Samoan Drop for two. They go up and Blue snaps off a rana from the top for no cover. Blue hits the Swanton for only two. They hit the ropes and Blue busts out his old finishing move, La Mistica, to end this at 10:34 shown of 14:04.

Rating: C+. This was WAY better than their PPV match which might have been due to it being their hometown crowd or something like that, but either way this was a far better match than the other one. Blue can now move onto something better, perhaps a shot at Ziggler or Rhodes or something (the face thing would fit pretty well) while Hunico will probably be gone.

Post match Black tries to leave but Blue beats him up and takes the mask to a big reaction.

Brodus Clay is still coming.

Beth and Natalya are in the ring and Beth talks about how much more dominant they are. We get some clips of the beatings on Kelly and that submission is called Pinup Strong. As for Eve…she’s going to cut off their music because that’s how it works in wrestling. She says the evil ones are ugly on the inside and she’s not a Barbie Doll. They can’t break her and they think Eve should cry. They shove each other a little and Beth might have fallen out of her top. This might be the weakest build I’ve ever seen.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show

I wonder if the car angle will be brought up. Del Rio can’t do anything to start as Show hammers away in the corner. Del Rio gets choked and sent to the floor but he clotheslines Show on the top rope…but then gets chopped down with ease as we take a break. Back with the champ kicking away at the leg but that fails too. Alberto manages to drive the steps into Show’s knees to take over for what must have been a good 4 seconds.

A clothesline puts Del Rio down as this has been one sided the entire time so far. Show hooks what looks like a cobra clutch before dropping a leg for two. Alberto FINALLY wakes up and fires off a ton of kicks to a huge face reaction. They combine to get him a count of one before Show catches a kick and gets fired up again. The champ escapes the chokeslam and hits a chopblock.

There’s the cross armbreaker but Show is facing the mat to take away a lot of the pressure. It’s more like a LeBell Lock minus the crossface at this point. Show does the British Bulldog vs. Shawn Michaels short arm scissors counter to break it and is promptly booed. Show sets for the chokeslam but Ricardo jumps on him for the DQ at 8:40 shown of 12:10.

Rating: C. Not bad here but I’d question having the world champion get dominated like this. This match would have been a good place for someone like Christian. It’s a big enough match and I can understand why you don’t want to have Show lose before his title match, but you’re also making Del Rio look pretty weak going into his own title match. Show being a Giant makes that a bit less annoying though.

Mark Henry runs in post match and is DROPPED by the right hand from Big Show. He was on his feet in the ring for maybe a second and a half. Remember what I was saying about making your champion look weak?

Quick aside: if Show can knock someone out cold with a single punch, why would he do all that stuff like clubbing them in the back or trying to chokeslam them? Pop off one punch and win in like 12 seconds.

Overall Rating: B-. This was much better than last week but it still wasn’t all that great. One thing Smackdown has going for it right now and that it almost always has had is that it keeps things simple. It’s the best thing that they do as they don’t have anything complicated going on or anything that doesn’t make sense after you think about it for the span of 5 minutes. Also more than one ten minute match is a nice thing to see. As for Vengeance, not bad on the build but the show doesn’t need to exist and there’s no way around that.

Results
Mark Henry b. John Morrison – World’s Strongest Slam
Wade Barrett b. Daniel Bryan – Wasteland
Sheamus/Zack Ryder b. Christian/Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick to Ziggler
Sin Cara b. Sin Cara – La Mistica
Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio via disqualification when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 9, 2011
Location: Thompson-Boling Arena, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We’re two weeks away from Over the Limit and unless I’m overlooking it there aren’t any matches officially made.  After the previous week’s birthday party for Rock we can finally get back to the regular stuff on Monday nights.  I’d bet on more with Miz and Cena as Miz can say he got a pinfall on Cena in a title match as a validation for another match.  Let’s get to it.

Here’s Alberto to open the show.  He says that he should be champion but Edge stole it from him.  Why did we waste so much time on Rock last week?  It should have been a celebration of the arrival of Alberto.  He says he should get the title shot so here’s Rey to offer a rebuttal.  He says Alberto will one day be Ricardo’s announcer.  Is that even an insult?  Rey wants a match tonight for the #1 contendership.

Alberto starts to talk but Miz and Riley come out to interrupt.  Miz blames Riley for losing the title last week but Alberto says that was his chance.  Miz says he got the job done but the referee was prejudiced.  He makes a Taco Bell joke which will probably get him criticized for making racial remarks because people are stupid.  Truth comes out to no music and talks about…..hospital food?

Ah apparently it’s due to Morrison having a neck injury and being out for months for neck surgery.  Truth gets in all their faces and calls Miz Kermit, Mysterio bottle-nosed and Alberto a pompous Mexican fence jumper.  “When an angry black man is talking y’all need to shut it up.”  Something about kicking dogs and cats is mentioned but long story short, Truth wants the title shot.  E-Mail says we’re going to have a triple threat match between Miz, Alberto and……we get another E-Mail to announce that the third man is Rey Mysterio.

Truth doesn’t like it and Mysterio wants Truth in the match which he says means he agrees with the GM.  Did I miss something there?  Anyway Miz says the next WWE Champion is…..but he can’t finish as Ricardo cuts him off and says Ricardo.  RICARDO DROPKICKS RILEY!!!  Miz hits the floor and Rey dives on Ricardo to end this segment as we take a break.

Bella Twins vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres

 

I think that’s Brie vs. Kelly to start us off.  The Bellas double team her for two.  Apparently Cena gets to pick the stipulation for the title match at the PPV.  Kelly gets a headscissors to take down Nikki and spanks her a bit.  Small package by Brie (I think) is reversed into one by Kelly for the pin at 1:25.  We get to the point quickly as Kharma comes out.  The Bellas try to sneak off and manage to get by.  Eve tries to jump Kharma and gets left laying via a slam.  Kelly runs off and it’s an Implant buster for Eve.

Kane vs. Mason Ryan next.

Kane vs. Mason Ryan

 

Punk and Show are here with their respective people.  Ryan shoves him around with ease to start us off.  Kane fires away and knocks him into the corner but gets his head taken off with a clothesline.  We go WAY old school with an Oklahoma Stampede for two.  Punk distracts Kane so Show kills him dead with the punch.  McGillicutty and Otunga run in for the DQ at 2:14.  Double chokeslam to Ryan and the tall guys stand…..well tall.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Santino Marella

 

Dolph is all evil and orange here as he beats down Santino quickly.  After a quick beatdown Santino gets some offense in but a dropkick takes him down as he loads up the Cobra.  Zig Zag ends this in 1:40.

We actually get a Smackdown Rebound for the first time in forever.  It’s of Christian having his moment as champion and losing the title that night to Orton.

Truth is about to leave and calls conspiracy.  Apparently he’s been getting letters asking him to sing and dance again.  His eyes are bugging out of his head as he says this.  There’s a country accent thrown in and there’s no more, because that’s the Truth.  He leaves but comes back to get the interviewer to say What’s Up and then leaves.

Cena fist pumps with Ryder and heads to the ring.

We get a recap of the title match last week and Riley costing Miz the title.  Miz yells at Riley all over again.  He calls Riley a troglodyte and says he’s stupid.  Riley says he’ll make it up to Miz so watch this.

Riley walks down the hall and out into the arena.  Did Cena get lost on his way to the ring?  Riley says the only person that he cares about is the Miz.  He challenges Cena to a match and here’s the champ.

John Cena vs. Alex Riley

 

Very pro-Cena crowd tonight.  Cena takes Riley down with ease and then does it again.  A charge misses in the corner though and Riley gets a clothesline for two.  Chinlock goes on by Riley but Cena starts up his ending sequence.  A pair of AA’s as Miz comes out sets up the STF to end this at 3:12.

Rating: D. Just a squash here but Riley actually got in some offense.  Total dominance by Cena but did you really expect anything else?  I’m not sure how this proves anything to Miz but I guess Riley’s heart was in the right place.  Nothing else to say here so I’ll keep typing a bit to fill in space.

Cole announces his retirement from in ring competition.  Lawler comes in and wants a clip of the beatdown from Rock last week.  Cole talks about going into the Hall of Fame and Lawler says if Cole can beat Lawler again, he’ll give Cole his HOF ring and induct Cole into the Hall of Fame.  Cole turns it down in a bit of a surprise.

Cole gets in the Cole Mine and makes fun of Tennessee.  His mind was made up yesterday about his retirement because it was Mother’s Day.  Cole flew his mother into Texas and they watched Cole beat him at Mania.  Lawler wouldn’t be able to spend Mother’s Day with his mom because his mom died in February.  Lawler storms the Cole Mine but Swagger makes the save as we take a break.

US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston

 

Technical stuff to start here as Cole imitates breaking news to say that Lawler is in pain.  Swagger gets sent to the floor but gets a shot to Kofi, sending him to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Swagger sending Kofi into the corner, only to get knocked backwards.  Running knee to the gut takes Kofi down again though.

Vader Bomb eats knees but Trouble in Paradise misses.  Top rope cross body gets two.  Kofi tries to skin the cat (why is it called that anyway?) but Swagger grabs the ankle.  Kofi tries a tornado DDT but gets shoved off and the ankle gives out.  Lawler comes out and the distraction is enough for Trouble in Paradise to end this at 8:23 total.

Rating: C. Just your standard match between these two which was fine.  They’ve wrestled each other a few hundred times now so they can probably have a passable match in their sleep.  Lawler coming down is fine as it plays into the bigger angle.  Fine for a TV match and that’s all it needed to be.

Post match Lawler sends Swagger into the post and then the crowd and goes to the Cole Mine but can’t get in.  Lawler throws a chair into the Mine but settles for reaching into the glory hole to grab the tie.  He pulls the tie, ramming Cole’s head into the wall time after time.  Cole’s face all stuck up against the wall had me dying from laughter.  Swagger says Lawler is fired but Lawler says he just touched his tie.  Swagger accepts the match for Cole which he isn’t happy with.

Video about the premiere of That’s What I Am, which apparently is being well received.

The Miz vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio

 

Winner gets Cena at Over the Limit.  No Riley with Miz.  Standard formula here as we have two guys go at it while the third is down.  The bad guys fight in the ring and Miz escapes the cross armbreaker.  Rey comes back in and gets a sunset flip for two on Del Rio.  Miz vs. Mysterio now but Del Rio breaks up the 619.  Rey gets sent to the floor by Alberto so Miz tries the Skull Crushing Finale.  That misses and a double clothesline puts everyone down as we take a break.

Back with Alberto kicking Miz back to the floor so he can work on Mysterio some more.  After more of a beating on Rey, Miz pulls the rope down to send Del Rio to the floor.  Sunset flip doesn’t hit and Rey hits a kick to the head for two.  They all go to the floor with Rey diving on Alberto to take him down.  Alberto and Rey go back into the ring and Rey speeds things up again and takes him down with a headscissors.

Miz pops back up and heads up top, only to get crotched.  Rollup gets two on Alberto.  Sweet top rope rana by Rey to Miz but he gets caught in the Codebreaker to the arm and the Cross Armbreaker.  Miz breaks it up and gets rolled up for two.  DDT gets two on Alberto.  Finale is blocked by Rey and Miz hits the floor again.  Riley comes back out to help Miz as Del Rio can’t powerbomb Rey.  619 to Alberto sets up the top rope splash but Riley makes the save.  Miz runs in with a rollup to get the pin on Rey at 13:45 total.

Rating: C+. This was your usual run of the mill triple threat match to start but at the end they cranked it up and with another 3 minutes or so this would have been very good.  Miz winning probably makes the most sense so you can’t really complain about him winning.  Good stuff here and good to see Miz keep his main event spot for the time being.

Cena picks an I Quit match for the PPV.

Back in the ring Truth pops up to lay out Mysterio to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this show a lot.  While the matches were short, a lot of stuff happened tonight and with a short amount of time before the PPV, that’s exactly what they needed here.  There are still questions about what’s coming for the PPV which makes me want to see what’s next on the show.  Good stuff all around tonight as there was an energy tonight that we haven’t had in awhile.  Much better show than the last few weeks.

Results

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Bella Twins – Small Package to Brie

Kane b. Mason Ryan via disqualification when Nexus ran in

Dolph Ziggler b. Santino Marella – Zig Zag

John Cena b. Alex Riley – STF

Kofi Kingston b. Jack Swagger – Trouble in Paradise

The Miz b. Alberto Del Rio and Rey Mysterio – Rollup to Mysterio

Extreme Rules 2011
Date: May 1, 2011
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Booker T, Josh Matthews

I see this show as being like TLC from last year: there isn’t much of a difference in the stories from here and Wrestlemania so here are a bunch of gimmicks tacked on and we hope that you watch our show and don’t notice that we haven’t put much thought into this past month.  The main event tonight (possibly) is Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio for the vacant world title.  If Christian doesn’t win here, I doubt he ever will.  Not really but it sounds good.  Let’s get to it.

Opening video is pretty much what you would expect: TONIGHT IS EXTREME!!!

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

 

Last man standing here.  New Nexus is with Punk as they continue to try to validate their existences.  And never mind as an E-Mail throws them out.  Punk takes the pad off a buckle before he even gets in.  Hot start as they go right at it.  We go to the floor quickly with Punk getting introduced to the barricade.  They hit it off and are taking in a movie next Tuesday.

They go back into the ring as they’re keeping up that fast pace.  The problem of course is that in last man standings, there’s no real point to buying into any counts until after at least 8 minutes.  Punk grabs a kendo stick and the “brutal” part of the match starts.  Multiple shots by Punk (Straightedge anyone?) gets about seven and now it’s payback time.  Finisher attempts are exchanged and Orton sends Punk into a chair wedged in between the ropes to the floor for about 6.

Punk gets a solid kick to the head for about 8.  As always in these matches, a lot of time passes with little happening due to the counting and setting up for the counting.  Orton sends him into the barricade for six and we head back to the ring.  GTS actually hits and Orton gets up at 9, only to fall back down a second later.  That counts as being up though as it should.  Punk throws in a chair and a Russian leg sweep onto it gets about 8.

To their feet and Punk tries another leg sweep.  Orton pulls an RKO out of nowhere and both guys are down.  Orton gets up as does Punk but he stumbles to the floor just after he gets up.  Punk fights off the elevated DDT and wraps a chair around Orton’s throat to send it into the post.  THAT gets 9 and Punk is ticked off.  They go to the table and Punk tries the GTS on it….which wouldn’t add anything to the move but whatever.  There’s the counter into an RKO onto the (non-breaking in this case) table and Punk stumbles to his feet somehow at 9.  I would have bet on that being the ending.

Orton sets for a Punt but gets caught in a GTS into the steps.  When I say the GTS I mean he gets dropped face first onto the steps which is really about all you can do with that move.  Up at nine and Punk has a kendo stick.  Punk sends Orton in and goes up top for some reason, only to have Orton intercept the stick and WEAR PUNK OUT with it as he’s hanging from the top.  SUPER RKO from the top ends this with Orton barely beating the count.

Rating: B. I rather liked this one, mainly because they gave it a lot more time than I expected them to.  I would have thought the ending was going to happen multiple times in there but they let it keep going.  I think it was pretty clear Orton was going to win, but they had a lot of very close calls in there and it worked rather well.  Much better than I expected actually.

Lawler heads to the back to get read and we recap the Draft.

Morrison is warming up.

Sheamus is ticked off that Teddy has added an extra match with him defending against Kofi in a tables match.  He’s the US Champion and is defending against someone not from the US.  He demands to see the birth certificate.  This is FAR less stupid now that that whole issue is over.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Kofi Kingston

 

Booker continues to imply Kofi should turn heel as we hit the floor early.  First table is brought out by the pale one and set up on the floor.  Back to the ring and Sheamus gets caught on the apron, only to hit a slingshot shoulder block to take Kofi down.  Table #2 comes in and lands on top of Kofi.  We hear about how Sheamus beat Cena in one of these to win the title which still blows my mind.

Table gets set up in the corner but Kofi fights out of it.  Sheamus moves to avoid Kofi’s dive but Kofi is like screw it and does the splits in midair to land on the ropes with the table between his legs.  Big boot sends Kofi flying over the table on the floor as Sheamus takes over again.  The corner table is set up in front of the corner and Sheamus hammers away.  Sheamus can’t suplex him onto a table on the floor and gets caught by Trouble in Paradise but it doesn’t put him through the table.  The Boom Drop as Sheamus turns around does however to give Kofi the title.

Rating: C+. Not bad here and considering it was just a way to get a midcard title on Raw this was fine.  Kofi of course is his usually solid self and Sheamus loses the title without getting pinned.  This was perfectly fine and the ending plus some cool spots by Kofi were enough to push it over the top.

Truth complains about Morrison because that’s what he does anymore.  He can’t spell conspiracy.  The one thing he can’t stand is a thief which is what Morrison is.  Back in the 80s this would have been a squash over a jobber and the point is just to establish that Truth is here for when he likely runs in later.

Michael Cole/Jack Swagger vs. Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler

 

Country whipping match here, which means they all have straps.  Cole, I kid you not, is wrapped in bubble wrap.  Ross has a legit broken hand after beating Cole up Monday.  Cole gives us his resume as a reporter and insults all of Florida by saying everyone is old.  Lawler vs. Cole to start as Lawler can’t hurt him.  Lawler goes for the only unprotected part: Cole’s face.  There goes the bubble wrap and it’s off to Swagger.

Basically this is Lawler vs. Swagger for all intents and purposes as they have a one on one match for a few minutes.  Lawler gets him down but takes a chop block as he goes after Cole.  Ankle Lock goes on for like 30 seconds as Ross WEAKLY hits Swagger to break the hold.  Off to JR who puts an ankle lock on Swagger!  Swagger escapes and I think accidentally tags Cole.  Ross wastes WAY too much time for a clothesline and whips Cole a bit.  Ankle lock goes on Cole and even takes Swagger out with a low blow.  He turns to whip Swagger….and gets rolled up by Cole to end it.  Dang it this is going to keep going isn’t it?

Rating: F. Hey look, Cole wins again and gets to run his mouth a bit more.  Not as bad as Mania but still, DO SOMETHING ELSE!  This has been done and it’s been done multiple times already so why do they keep going with it?  Cole can still be a jerk but give us SOMETHING for a change instead.  Match sucked too.

Over the Limit is in three weeks.  Well of course it is.

Cena says he hasn’t been champion since June and will be champion again tonight.  Short interview here.

We recap Rey vs. Cody.  Not much to say here other than it’s been awesome from Cody and Rey messed up Cody, turning him into someone that thinks he’s grotesque despite looking the same as he always has.  That’s some solid psychological stuff there.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

 

Falls count anywhere.  People hand out the bags which is a nice touch.  Cody has promised to send Rey to the hospital on his way to Raw.  Cody charges at Rey to start us off but Rey speeds thigns up to send him to the floor.  They go up the ramp and Rey gets a seated senton off the stage for two.  Out into the crowd as Rey kicks away at the head.  NOT IN THE FACE!!!

Up towards the back of the arena with Cody kind of in control now.  Into the back as this is more or less an old school hardcore match.  Cody mangaes the Beautiful Disaster off a concession stand window for two.  That looked awesome.  Back to the ring as this has been a very stiff looking match.  Rey tries his sitout bulldog but Cody reverses with a wheelbarrow drop onto the steps for two.

Cody picks Rey up like a 24 pack and throws him into the ring.  Rey fights back and sets for the 619, intentionally exposing his knee brace.  Cody counters and hits an Alabama Slam for two.  Up we go but Rey FIRES GREEN MIST at Cody to send him flying.  619 out of nowhere and the springboard splash finishes completely clean.

Rating: B. Another good match here, mainly due to them beating the tar out of each other.  This feud was solid and at least Cody got the win at Mania which looks better on his resume and will be what is remembered.  Good stuff overall here and the mist was a nice touch despite messing up the racial stereotypes again.

Layla apologizes to the Divas for being mean to them over the years.  They say they don’t like her but they like Michelle less.

Cole is back on commentary.  Oh joy.

Michelle McCool vs. Layla

 

More or less a street fight here and the loser leaves WWE.  Michelle wisely jumps Layla during her lay on the rope entrance.  Out to the floor as this is another intense brawl.  A shot into the table gets two for Michelle.  Big boot misses and here comes Layla.  Belly to belly gets two for Michelle as we hit the floor again.

They fight on the barrier of all things with Michelle taking over.  DIAMOND DUST gets two for Layla as they come back in.  Faithbreaker is countered into the Layout for two.  Michelle counters a jackknife cover into a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) but can’t cover immediately.  Layla counters the cover into a rollup/crucifix pin to get rid of Michelle.

Rating: C+. I liked this again.  The Divas can do pretty well if they’re given the proper amount of time.  Layla winning here is probably due to Michelle leaving soon if not tonight apparently which is fine.  Definitely one of the better matches with the females in awhile as this worked fine.  Layle is getting a lot better every time she gets in there, which is definitely a good sign.

Layla cries as she leaves.

Michelle gets the goodbye song treatment but Kharma (Awesome Kong) debuts.  Implant Buster kills Michelle dead with ease.  All of the Divas are freaked out.  Beth is made to look the most prominent here.

Alberto gives Ricardo instructions on how to announce the ending.

We recap Edge’s retirement and the title being vacant.  This gets the 3 Doors Down video again which makes me smile.  Edge was supposed to defend in a ladder match but had to retire due to a neck injury so Christian took his place by winning a battle royal.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

 

Ladder match here.  Well we’re in Christian’s match with Edge’s momentum behind him in his (kind of) hometown.  If he doesn’t win here, he’s never going to have a better chance.  Brawl to start and Christian goes for the ladder only for the king of the golden banana hammock to take over.  Baseball slide into the ladder into Del Rio as Christian takes control right back.

First ladder is brought in and Del Rio gets in a shot to take over.  Christian is knocked to the floor as Del Rio gets the big ladder set up between the table and the ring like a platform.  Suplex is blocked but Christian is kicked into the steps hip first.  The Canadian gets knocked off the top onto a ladder and then jumps onto Del Rio to keep the advantage for the most part.

Up goes Christian but we’re only about 8 minutes into this so that’s not the ending.  They slug it out but the Killswitch is avoided.  Del Rio is sent into the ladder arm first.  Big ladder goes up in the middle of the ring but Del Rio chucks a stepladder at Christian for the save.  Codebreaker to the arm with Del Rio on the small ladder and Christian coming off the big ladder which looked awesome.

Del Rio works on the arm a bit as Cole declares Christian done.  The small ladder (I smell an alliance with Horny) is used again but Del Rio goes crashing into the big ladder to put him down.  Christian goes up again, only to get caught by Alberto in a kind of powerbomb move which is countered by a rana by Christian.  They fight over a chance to put the other through the ladder platform but Christian gets a suplex onto a ladder to put Del Rio down.

Alberto goes up, only to be stopped but the arm goes out on Christian as Alberto keeps control.  Chair slipped in by Ricardo which goes nowhere.  Back in the ring Christian busts out a SPEAR to put Del Rio down.  I guess he isn’t a master of it though as Del Rio makes the save by pulling Christian through the rungs of the ladder.  Christian slips free, sending Alberto into the corner where the stepladder gets kicked into his face again.

Christian gets laid out on the platform ladder and Del Rio goes up for an elbow/legdrop/splash/whatever.  Christian moves though and the ladder DOESN”T BREAK.  FREAKING OW MAN!  There goes the Canadian but Brodus runs in to move the ladder and pull him down.  Stepladder shot puts Clay down as Del Rio comes back in to take over.  Cross armbreaker with the arm in the ladder makes Christian tap which means nothing.

Christian is busted open so we bust out the towel.  Alberto sets up the ladder and has to take his time as first aid is administered, making this look REALLY FREAKING STUPID.  He goes up but a horn honks and Edge is in a car.  Brodus is busted BAD.  The distraction lets Christian shove Alberto onto Clay and Christian is champion.  One important thing here: Edge stands off to the side for a good while to let Christian celebrate on his own.

Rating: B. Another rather good match here and this is the right move.  I’m skeptical about Christian as champion still, but this was 100% the right call given the circumstances.  He gets the chance to run with things here, despite being 37 now.  It’s a gamble, but it’s not a huge walk the plank one so I don’t have many complaints here.  Rather good match too but nothing we haven’t seen before for the most part.

Edge celebrates with Christian but DOESN’T STEAL THE SPOTLIGHT.

Package on Orton’s movie at a film festival.  I think they’ve figured out the idea here: let the actors do the acting and let the WWE guys have supporting roles.  It’ll do a lot better.

Riley gives Miz a pep talk as the fans can be heard heckling Del Rio.

Tag Titles: Kane/Big Show vs. Wade Barrett/Ezekiel Jackson

 

Lumberjack match here which is really needed as it’s 10:15 and we only had the Raw title match left.  Show vs. Barrett to start us off as Show dominates.  Kane comes in with his low dropkick for two.  Everything breaks down quickly as Show beats up various jobber lumberjacks as Jackson runs over Kane to take over.  Double clothesline puts both guys down as this is a bit of a mess.  It’s a bonus match though so you really can’t complain that much.

Off to Show who cleans a few rooms but gets sent to the floor by Jackson.  Jobbers pound on him which means they’ll be his dinner later.  DH Smith is actually here.  Wow indeed.  They finally get Show back in and Jackson slams him, but Barrett wants the glory.  The glaring between the foreigners allows Show to grab a chokeslam to retain over Barrett.  Just a quick match here.

Rating: D+. Again, it’s a bonus match so you really can’t complain much here.  They filled in the card and pushed the whole Corre breaking down thing.  This was fine for what it was as they weren’t expected to do anything of note.  I’m done will filling in space here but with this sentence I get four lines out of it so I’m happy.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison

 

In a cage and it’s pin, submission or escape.  Miz tries to run but the not brothers John save him.  Midnight Express flapjack puts the champ down as we’re firmly into the three way formula already.  Everyone beats on everyone as the former tag champions……and by that I mean Miz and Morrison…..go up but Cena makes the save.  Miz and Cena fight on the top rope for a bit and down goes Cena.

Morrison tries to make a quick escape as Miz tries a pin but the champion saves.  They sit on top of the cage and slug it out as Booker says they’re 20 or 30 feet in the air.  I give up.  Cena pops up and it’s a double suplex to Miz but they kind of botch it into almost a double brainbuster.  That looked SICK.  Back to the formula again and down goes Morrison.

Cena locks on the STF but Miz tries to escape.  Cena lets go for some reason and no one escapes.  Morrison gets thrown into the cage, only to jump up the wall and almost escape.  He’s a wildcard in this and changes the whole thing, as wildcards are designed to do.  With the Johns on top, Miz tries to go out the door.  Morrison kicks the door onto his head but gets crotched on said door.

Miz wisely pulls Morrison back into the cage because Morrison was about to just fall onto the floor.  Cena gets two on Morrison.  BIG DDT on Cena by Miz gets two.  Miz rams Cena into the cage and Morrison almost escapes, only to be caught again by Miz.  They slug it out on top of the cage again and Miz can’t quite get down.  Miz goes down so Morrison launches a Starship Pain off the cage to take out both guys in a cool spot.

Morrison almost gets out but of course here’s Truth to slam the door on Morrison’s head.  Truth comes into the cage and destroys Morrison.  Axe kick to Cena as Booker is confused.  Jumping downward spiral (NAME THAT MOVE ALREADY!) to Morrison as Truth climbs the cage.  He hasn’t touched Miz.  Truth climbs out of the cage and has the big freaky eyes going on.

Everyone is down now and Miz is the first one up.  He goes to escape, for some reason not going through the door, only to be caught by Cena.  They slug it out with the boo/yay which is required for Cena matches anymore.  Skull Crushing Finale is blocked into a big old FU off the top (stealing moves from Orton Cena?  Really) and Cena is champion again.

Rating: B-. Well we all knew the Truth interference was coming and that Morrison wasn’t walking out with the title which is fine.  The ending sets up a rematch and Truth vs. Morrison which is fine on both counts.  This was a pretty solid main event to a pretty solid show which is always a good sign.  They worked the formula and they worked it well here, so no complaints for the most part.

Overall Rating: A-. Dude this show was pretty awesome.  There are good matches throughout, some history thrown in there and two bonus matches, one of which was pretty good.  This is a lot like TLC: it wasn’t meant to be an epic show but rather fun instead and that’s just what they did here.  Good stuff throughout and not boring at all with everyone working hard.  That’s what you want here and it paid off.  Very good show and rather fun overall.

Results

Randy Orton b. CM Punk when Punk couldn’t answer the ten count

Kofi Kingston b. Sheamus – Boom Drop through a table

Michael Cole/Jack Swagger b. Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler – Cole pinned Ross with a rollup

Rey Mysterio b. Cody Rhodes – Springboard splash

Layla b. Michelle McCool – Crucifix Pin

Christian b. Alberto Del Rio – Christian pulled down the championship

Big Show/Kane b. Ezekiel Jackson/Wade Barrett – Big Show pinned Barrett after a chokeslam

John Cena b. John Morrison and The Miz – Cena pinned Miz after an Attitude Adjustment off the top

Smackdown
Date: April 29, 2011
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

It’s the final night with the Smackdown roster as it had been for months.  It’s also the final night before Extreme Rules where we’re guaranteed a new World Heavyweight Champion in the form of Christian or Del Rio.  Orton is here tonight I’m assuming and it’s Rey’s last night here.  This should be good as there will be a lot of farewell matches.  Let’s get to it.

Naturally we open up with a recap of the Draft and Cena going from Friday to Monday, which really isn’t as big a deal as it’s being made out to be.  Of course Orton would wind up being the superstar brought in to replace Edge.  Also Smackdown lost Del Rio and Mysterio so they didn’t do perfectly.  Still though, Smackdown won on Monday.  In the supplemental….that’s up for debate I guess.

Do you know your enemy?  Mine would be IWC idiots that still say WWE is dying when it got 1 million buys for Wrestlemania which everyone said was impossible.  WWE is dying my foot.

The World Heavyweight Championship is above the ring again.

Kane/Show vs. Corre for the titles and Henry vs. Mysterio tonight.

Here’s Orton in the Smackdown shirt to open the show.  He introduces himself to the crowd, because no one here has ever watched Raw right?  Orton talks about how he’s looking forward to the challenges that await him but this Sunday he has some unfinished business.  It’s good that they’re not messing with the PPV matches at least.  Orton gets interrupted by….Drew McIntyre?

Drew says he’s moving up to Raw and the WWE Universe has to wait a bit longer on Orton vs. McIntyre.  Clearly a match the world is waiting for.  Drew tries to jump him with the Futureshock but walks into an RKO.  Orton tries to keep talking and here’s Alex Riley with generic rock theme #857, not to be confused with generic rock theme #856.  He doesn’t even get a word out before he gets taken down by an RKO.

He tries to talk again and this time it’s Del Rio to interrupt him.  Alberto is smart enough to talk on his way to the ring.  Orton apparently knows how to make a first impression but Alberto knows how to make a lasting one.  The three guys in Alberto’s crew surround Orton until Christian runs out to even the odds a bit.  Teddy comes out to make the tag team main event.  Clay gets knocked down and Orton and Christian stand tall.

Kofi is on his way to the ring for a match but Sheamus jumps him.  Apparently this is the match.  I can’t wait for Monday when those stupid shirts go away.  Total assault before the match starts (I think) with Kofi getting sent into the railing and steps.  That’s one thing I like about Sheamus: he isn’t a coward.  He’ll go straight at you and can be a monster fighter when he wants to be.

Into the ring now as I guess the match has officially started when Sheamus jumped him.  We’ll go with that for lack of anything official.  Into the ring and there’s the Brogue Kick and Sheamus holds up the belt and leaves.  I’m assuming this wasn’t an official match.  I’d bet on a match between them at the PPV to put a midcard title on Raw.

Here’s Cole to introduce Jack Swagger.  Cole implies JR is a pig.

Jack Swagger vs. Sin Cara

 

Cara NAILS the entrance.  I can’t believe I’ve read people complaining about how stupid the trampoline is.  Yes, of course he uses one.  It looks awesome too but hey, I guess since they think it’s stupid, it must be stupid.  Who cares that it looks cool or pops the crowd right?  Booker says he’s noticed Sin Cara can fly.  You can’t buy analysis like this people!!!

Swagger takes him to the mat easily and hammers away.  What looks like a powerslam is reversed and Cara fires off some kicks and an INSANE armdrag off the top.  The lighting is kind of a blue haze here.  It’s almost like Kane’s back in the day although not red and nowhere near as dark.  Cara is sent into the corner chest first but the Vader Bomb is blocked with knees.

More kicks follow and a Tajiri handspring elbow.  Headscissors puts Swagger down but Cara walks into a big boot after a missed springboard move.  Cole slips Swagger a leather belt and Cara grabs a victory roll to get the pin at 3:17.  I’m hoping that’s a sign of how they have tension between Swagger and Cole for the tag match Sunday.

Rating: C+. This was easily Cara’s best match so far in the company.  He kept things a bit slower paced and the result was far fewer botches, far fewer times where he looked shaky and a more interesting match.  He had enough high spots to pop the crowd too and the whole thing worked.  Fun stuff.

Swagger goes after him again post match but is sent to the floor where Cara hits a big plancha to take Jack down.

Kharma ad.  That face is terrifying.

Tag Titles: Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel vs. Big Show/Kane

 

I still don’t get the point in having Show go to Raw when the champions can be on both shows.  Show vs. Slater to start us off.  The punch is now known as the WMD.  Slater and Gabriel use some nice teamwork and a missile dropkick to put Show down.  That gets one as Show launches Gabriel to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Slater getting two on Show.  Gabriel pops in and manages to counter the chokeslam with a DDT for two as well.  Sleeper/choke by Gabriel gets him nowhere on Show of course.  A sideslam allows the hot tag to the Big Fried Freak (who isn’t as fried as you would expect).  Another sideslam, this one from Kane, gets two.  Top rope clothesline sets up the chokeslam as the crowd is DEAD.  Gabriel saves for a bit but the double chokeslam ends them as Kane pins Slater at 3:40 shown of 7:10 total.

Rating: D+. Just a step above a squash here as there was nothing going on at all.  Corre needs to advance on to splitting or whatever else they’re going to do.  Not much going on here but at least it’s done now.  I was thinking they would shift the belts back now but apparently the giants get to keep them for awhile.  Works for me.

Khali and Singh say good luck on Raw to Rey.  An Indian man comes up whose name is apparently Jinder Mahal and he’s from FCW.  They treat him like a big deal and that’s about it.

Here’s Rey to say goodbye to Smackdown.  He thanks the fans for everything, including their world title win last week.  The journey isn’t done yet as this Sunday they have a match with Cody Rhodes.  Everyone will be part of the 619.  Is he going to buy them all houses in San Diego?

Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Henry

 

Mark is freshly heel for no apparent reason other than we needed a midcard heel monster on Fridays.  Henry says Rey’s farewell is his debut which is unfortunate.  Rey goes straight at him as Cole makes fun of Rey’s nicknames.  Henry sends him to the floor and Rey stalls for a bit.  Back in and Rey tries to speed things up.  This goes about as well as Goldberg as a heel in WCW as Henry steps on him a lot.

Henry throws him to the floor as this is a very slow moving match.  Rey goes into the steps but moves to send Henry knee first into them as we thankfully take a break.  Back with them in the ring and Rey hitting a seated dropkick.  This is rather boring to say the least.  Henry knocks him off the top and splashes him in the corner.  About ¾ of this match has been Henry running into Rey in some form or another.

We continue to go so slowly that I think I have horrible lag.  Henry tries a drop onto the chest but Rey manages to move.  I’m not sure what caused Rey to move but it was either Mark screaming or standing there for ten seconds.  Little from column A, little from column B I guess.  Rey fires back and hits the 619.  He sets for the seated senton but Cody runs in for the DQ at 5:30 shown of 9:00.

Rating: D. This was terribly boring.  I mean they had nearly ten minutes and it felt like about 40.  Henry isn’t interesting in the slightest as he fights like a 1980s monster heel.  That sounds good in theory, but when did Bundy or Gang EVER go more than 5 minutes without it sucking?  The answer would be when Hogan was there and Rey is no Hogan as far as fighting monsters.  At least it’s over.

Cody beats Rey up in the crowd for a bit and throws him in to Henry for the World’s Strongest Slam.  Rey gets the paper bag treatment also.

Michelle McCool vs. Layla

 

Layla can make a Smackdown t-shirt look good.  That’s impressive.  They come out to the same music which is pretty rare.  Doesn’t mean anything but it’s rare.  Layla goes straight at her and Michelle shoves her off with ease.  Total catfight and they brawl to the floor.  The fight continues and it’s a double countout at 57 seconds.  Intense if nothing else.

Layla grabs the mic and challenges Michelle to a no DQ and no countout (street fight) match at Extreme Rules.  Michelle says Layla is nothing without her so it’s on.  Michelle insists on loser leaves (overdubbed) WWE.

Video on the European tour.  Hard to argue with those as apparently they’re almost pure profit.  Edge was there too.

Christian says he hears Alberto talking about destiny all the time.  He talks about Alberto injuring him and how it gave him time to reflect.  Christian talks about how this was Edge’s spot but now he’s in it.  He wants to know if this is his time or if he got lucky.  It’s his destiny and he’s going to not only touch the title Sunday but earn the right to keep it.  Good promo.

We run down the card for Sunday.

Brodus Clay/Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian/Randy Orton

 

Entrances take forever of course.  Can’t tell if it’s a BMW or a Ferrari tonight.  Ferrari apparently which looks awesome.  Christian vs. Del Rio to start us off.  And never mind as here’s Brodus about 4 seconds in.  Standard monster vs. regular sized guy at the moment as we talk about Christian needing a win to validate his career which is a kind of interesting debate.

Off to Alberto as we talk about what his moving to Raw means for Clay.  Clay could be a solid midcard monster if pushed right.  Let the psychology begin as Alberto works on the arm of Christian.  Off to Orton who stares a lot.  Knee drop gets two but Del Rio gets a Codebreaker to the arm and it’s off to Clay as we take a break.  Back with more tagging by the heels and Alberto throwing on a chinlock.

Christian comes in as does Clay.  The Canadian speeds things up and takes the fight to Clay, but Del Rio cheats (that villain!) and Clay gets a t-bone suplex for two.  More standard beating by both heels kills some time.  Christian sends Del Rio to the floor but can’t make the tag.  Brodus works on the back and brings in Alberto for a backsplash off the top for two.  Christian takes him down eventually and it’s hot tag to Orton.  Orton fires off his standard moveset on Del Rio as I’m begging ANYTHING interesting to happen.  RKO doesn’t hit Del Rio but Clay walks into it for the pin at 11:42 shown of 15:12.

Rating: D+. WOW this was boring.  From a wrestling standpoint it was fine but there was nothing to this at all that was going to make this interesting.  It was very paint by numbers for a main event tag match.  This felt like something you would see at a house show which really isn’t what I wanted to see here.  Not a terrible match but really boring overall for the most part.

Overall Rating: D+. I really wasn’t that impressed with this show.  They tried but I really wasn’t all that pleased.  The stuff they did was all about the new people on Smackdown and the old guys leaving which is ok but that doesn’t mean it’s an interesting match.  They kind of built to Extreme Rules but the new World Heavyweight Champion candidates were totally on the back burner tonight to Orton, which really doesn’t make me feel strong about the next title reign.  Weak show.

Results

Sin Cara b. Jack Swagger – Victory Roll

Big Show/Kane b. Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater – Chokeslam to Slater

Rey Mysterio b. Mark Henry via DQ when Cody Rhodes interfered

Layla vs. Michelle McCool went to a double countout

Randy Orton/Christian b. Alberto Del Rio/Brodus Clay