Impact Wrestling – April 6, 2017: One Story Can Kill a Show

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Date: April 6, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero, Jeremy Borash

Opening sequence.

Eli Drake vs. Caleb Konley

This starts immediately after the opening sequence with no entrances. Drake sends him outside for a cheap shot from Tyrus, followed by some right hands from Eli back inside. A neckbreaker out of the corner gives Eli two but Caleb comes right back with a rolling palm strike. That actually sends Drake outside for a suicide dive, followed by a high crossbody for no cover. Caleb goes up but Tyrus offers a distraction, allowing Drake to hit White Noise for the pin at 4:05.

Gauntlet Match

This is basically a Royal Rumble with the final two having a regular match where the winner gets a future title shot. Ava Storie is in at #1 and Madison Rayne is in at #2, complete with the Killer Queen song. That goes nowhere so after the first one minute interval, Rebel is in at #3. Storie runs them both over with a double clothesline and Amanda Rodriguez is in at #4.

The two newcomers slug it out with no one even attempting an elimination. M.J. Jenkins is in at #5 as the announcers just act like we should know who all these new people are. Diamante from LAX is in at #6 and Rodriguez is the first one eliminated. ODB is in at #7 and sends the other five into the corner for a huge splash.

Andrew Everett vs. Marshe Rockett vs. Suicide

Everett kicks Rockett to the floor as the announcers KEEP GOING about their upcoming tag match before switching over to fantasy baseball. This is the kind of stuff you expect from One Night Only shows. Suicide knocks Andrew to the floor and follows with the falling dive. Back in and Rockett stomps on Everett before powerslamming him out of the air.

Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards

Last Man Standing and Eddie jumps Davey in the aisle. Eddie knocks him into the barricade and follows with two suicide dives as they quickly head into the crowd. Davey gets crotched on a barricade but ducks a dive, sending Eddie crashing into a garbage can for a good looking spot. Richards gets in a few kicks, stops to kiss Angelina Love, and grabs a chair.

Rating: B+. This got the time that it needed and the violence was more than enough to make it work. These two beat the heck out of each other and made it look like they wanted to kill each other. Now the problem is they need to let the feud end here instead of just continuing it for the sake of continuing it, which gets old in a hurry.

We get a video on Veterans of War involving Operation Iraqi Freedom. I believe one of them was Gunner, who is a former member of the military.

JB wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

LAX celebrates their title win.

We look at James Storm updating his theme music in a studio.

Alberto El Patron vs. Jon Bolen

Post match Alberto calls out Lashley.

Fury is unleashed next week and has something to do with Sutter and Allie.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a show where one thing really does bring the whole thing down. We had a great gimmick match and some stuff involving the World Title but what closes the show? Bickering announcers. Can you imagine if Cole vs. Lawler closed a show instead of something involving John Cena?

Results

Eli Drake b. Caleb Konley – White Noise

ODB won a gauntlet match last eliminating Madison Rayne

Andrew Everett b. Marshe Rockett and Suicide – Shooting star press to Rockett

Davey Richards b. Eddie Edwards – Creeping Death with a chain around the boot

Alberto El Patron b. Jon Bolen – Top rope double stomp

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 16, 2017: Can We Make It Good First?

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Date: March 16, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Opening sequence.

Eddie Edwards talks about how he wants to make Impact great.

Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. vs. Eli Drake/Tyrus

Josh says that was stupid.

Kayci Quinn vs. Brandi Rhodes

Back from a break with Rosemary destroying Quinn. Thankfully this gives the announcers another chance to argue while Quinn is looked at. JB says law and order is coming soon.

Ethan Carter III wants to make Impact great.

Ethan Carter III vs. Alberto El Patron

Madison Rayne wants to make Impact great again.

JB says “she” is going to be here next week.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Andrew Everett vs. Braxton Sutter vs. Suicide

Suicide dropkicks Everett and bulldogs Sutter for two. Pope goes on a rant against Suicide because they had a falls count anywhere match back in the day but the mask kept Pope from knowing when he was hurt. We get a nice fake out with Suicide teasing diving onto Everett but instead falling backwards onto the other two. Everett hits a big springboard shooting star onto all three as we take a break.

Rating: C. I am so sick of the X-Division doing the same stuff over and over. How many times have you seen the exact same stuff over and over with the title having no real story to it? Oh and well done on capitalizing on Sutter and Allie being the hottest thing in the promotion by having Allie just be a valet and Sutter taking the fall here when you have freaking Suicide right there.

Post match Sienna comes out to warn Allie and Sutter of upcoming pain. Laurel is very pleased.

Results

Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. b. Eli Drake/Tyrus – Rollup to Drake

Alberto El Patron b. Ethan Carter III – Cross armbreaker

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Impact Wrestling – March 9, 2017: Well That Was Certainly Something

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Date: March 9, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards (in street clothes) are brawling in the crowd to start and agents have some issues breaking it up.

Cody and Brandi Rhodes interrupt the fight with Cody holding the GFW Nex-Gen Title. We get a poll about seeing Cody vs. Moose tonight and the fans seem interested but no announcement is made.

DCC vs. Reno Scum

Sienna yells at the new interviewer and says Maria has suffered a nervous breakdown from the wedding and is gone. Sienna is coming for Maria.

Braxton Sutter vs. Marshe Rockett vs. Caleb Konley vs. DJZ

Post match, Van Ness stumbles out, still wearing her wedding dress and holding the champagne bottles (How are those not empty?).

Sienna vs. Rachel Ellering

There are new owners and management, which means we have a new name: Impact Wrestling. These new owners are looking for people who have achieved greatness in the past, like Prichard himself. He was around when names like Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin and John Cena got their start so he knows greatness. Now he brings out Lashley, who talks about beating everyone put in front of him.

JB gets a news break from backstage and apparently a legend, who has never been on the show before, is backstage.

The new ad campaign is Make Impact Great, with Lashley saying we need to rise together. Ok then.

JB announces Slammiversary on July 2, sending Josh into a rant about how Borash making the announcement will cut down the PPV sales.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Alberto El Patron vs. Lashley

Results

Reno Scum b. DCC – Top rope double stomp to Bram

Sienna b. Rachel Ellering – Silencer

Alberto El Patron b. Lashley – Belt to the head


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Ring of Honor TV – May 18, 2016: Six In A Row

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Date: May 18, 2016
Host: Kevin Kelly

Opening sequence.

Kevin Kelly talks about how Lethal has been a champion for over two years straight, which stated at Supercard of Honor VIII (hey I was there) when he turned heel and joined Truth Martini to become TV Champion. We see the end of his match against Tommaso Ciampa to win the title.

After a quick highlight reel, we go to the 13th Anniversary Show (as in eleven months after Lethal won the title) with Lethal defending against Alberto El Patron.

TV Title: Jay Lethal vs. Alberto El Patron

Jay hits three straight suicide dives to send Alberto over the barricade and the champ takes a breather on the inside. Patron sends him into the corner though and the top rope double stomp gets two. Back up and they slug it out until the Lethal Combination gets two. The top rope elbow (Hail to the King) is blocked but Alberto has to put Matrini in the cross armbreaker.

Rating: B-. Certainly not bad her and a win over a former WWE World Champion is certainly a good rub for Lethal. The book cheating is still annoying but at least the right guy won and Lethal continues to look awesome. This would be about it for Alberto in Ring of Honor as he was just brought in for the title shot against Jay.

ROH World Title/TV Title: Jay Briscoe vs. Jay Lethal

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Briscoe fights back up and grabs a neckbreaker. Back from another break with the Lethal Combination getting a quick two. The Macho elbow is broken up for a bit, only to have Lethal shove Briscoe off to stop a superplex. Now the elbow gets two but a Koji Clutch is quickly broken up.

We talk about Lethal defending both titles at the same time until Martini caused him to lose the TV Title to Roderick Strong back in November. We see the end of the title change.

Ring of Honor World Title: AJ Styles vs. Jay Lethal

Ring of Honor World Title: Tomoaki Honma vs. Jay Lethal

An enziguri drops Honma but again he pops up and hits a middle rope headbutt. Honma misses his top rope headbutt though and Jay gets a breather. The referee gets bumped though, allowing Los Ingobernales to interfere. A Book of Truth to the head has no effect on Honma (he has a hard head you see) so Naito kicks him low, setting up the Lethal Injection for the pin to retain at 15:32 (original match time).

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AAA Triplemania XXIII: The Mexican Barely Legal

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Date: August 9, 2015
Location: Arena Ciudad de Mexico, Mexico City, Mexico
Attendance: 22,300
Commentators: Hugo Savinovich, Matt Striker

As is customary, we open with the widow of company founder Antonio Pena being introduced to the crowd.

The announcers are introduced.

Dinastia/Drago/Goya Kong/Pimpinela Escarlata vs. Mamba/Daga/Sexy Star/Mini Psycho Clown

The minis get things going with Dinastia (the Minis Champion) headscissoring Clown around with ease. Off to Mamba (who might be another exotico) vs. Drago as everything breaks down due to the lucha rules (going to the floor is the same as a tag). Dragon hits a BIG flip dive to take Daga down on the floor, leaving Mamba vs. Escarlata. Star comes in but gets armdragged down as this is all over the place. Goya armdrags down Star and Mamba before she and Escarlata load up double dives, only to stop to dance. There is no sense of order or story to this other than Goya getting quadruple teamed in the corner.

Drago kicks Mamba to the floor and hits a huge corkscrew dive, allowing the minis to fight even more. Star corkscrews onto Mamba and Drago with Escarlata following. The audio starts glitching again as Goya does a dance, followed by an apron flip dive. Back in and Escarlata kisses the referee before grabbing a freaky submission on Star (as in he ties up the legs and bends her over his back) for the win.

Escarlata kisses Striker on the cheek after the match.

Los Psycho Circus vs. Los Villanos

They salute each other (a sign of respect) and VERY slowly chop each other as we can hear Hugo for the first time in a good stretch. We get the “showdown” between Villano IV and Psycho, which apparently restarted this feud. The others are held back, leaving Villano IV to get in a low blow for the pin.

Trios Titles: Los Hell Brothers vs. Fenix/Los Gueros del Cielo vs. El Hijo de Fantasma/El Texano Jr./Pentagon Jr.

Now the Spanish audio bleeds over the English before the English disappears all together.

Electroshock/El Mesias vs. La Parka II/Blue Demon Jr.

Mesias is sent outside again (ok we get it already) and La Parka hits a weak dive, leaving us with Electroshock vs. Demon again. A powerbomb gets two on Demon, followed by Demon standing there so Electroshock can chop him a few times. Demon shrugs those off, hits something like a cross body, and grabs a Sharpshooter without turning Electroshock all the way over for the submission.

Demon gets a plaque. Electroshock shock comes back, flips off the fans, and then leaves again.

Second is Perro Aguayo Jr., who passed away earlier this year.

Brian Cage vs. Alberto El Patron

Cage gets his head shaved and goes after Alberto, only to get beaten down again and covered in the American flag. Dang it Alberto now we have to get it cleaned.

Actor Simon Pegg introduces Myzteziz (formerly Sin Cara), who comes out to the Mission: Impossible theme and repels from the ceiling like Tom Cruise did in the first movie.

Rey Mysterio vs. Myzteziz

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Lucha Underground – August 5, 2015: Marvel-Ous

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Date: August 5, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Schiavello, Matt Striker

Johnny Mundo vs. Alberto El Patron

The low superkick misses and Johnny nails an enziguri for two. Mundo loads him onto the top for a big Backstabber of his own for two but Alberto clotheslines him to the floor. His suicide dive hits a knee to the head though, allowing Johnny to hit a flip dive over the top. Back in and Alberto grabs the armbar out of nowhere but Johnny is into the ropes almost immediately. With nothing else working, Alberto ties him in the Tree of Woe for some kicks but misses a baseball slide, sending him shoulder first into the post.

Pentagon Jr. vs. Vampiro

Rating: C+. This was your above average hardcore war with the ridiculous weapons and big spot to end things. Pentagon has somehow turned into a hardcore brawler after spending weeks building himself up as the arm breaker extraordinaire. Fun enough match though, especially given how banged up Vampiro is from all the years in the ring.

Gift of the Gods Title: Big Ryck vs. King Cuerno vs. Sexy Star vs. Bengala vs. Fenix vs. Aerostar vs. Jack Evans

Blue Demon Jr. vs. Texano

Lucha Underground Title: Prince Puma vs. Mil Muertes

Catrina gives Puma the lick. Well at least he gets something. Catrina, Muertes and the Disciples of Death pose in the ring as the credits roll.

Fenix gets in his car and drives away.

Drago and Aerostar meet but Drago turns into fire and I guess flies away.

Dragon Azteca puts his mask back on and looks at a Lucha Underground sign with a question mark over it.

Cueto stares into the camera as lights go off behind him. To Be Continued.

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Lucha Underground – July 8, 2015: Atomicos, Fire and Death

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Date: July 8, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

The opening recap focuses on some of the big matches coming up at Ultima Lucha with Mundo vs. Alberto getting more time than anything else. Nothing really gets a ton of time though.

Cage vs. The Mack

Prince Puma vs. Mil Muertes and Johnny Mundo vs. Alberto El Patron are set for Ultima Lucha.

Mil Muertes vs. Son of Havoc

Rating: C. Again not bad with Muertes looking like a monster but Havoc not getting squashed as a champion. They did a very solid job of keeping both guys looking strong while making Muertes the better man, which is a lot better than WWE does half the time these days. Good stuff.

Team Alberto vs. Team Johnny

Alberto El Patron, Sexy Star, Drago, Aerostar

Johnny Mundo, Jack Evans, Super Fly, Hernandez

Things have finally settled down a bit here and I can suddenly breathe again. Star comes in off a tag and we get some heel miscommunication, only to have Hernandez pull Star off Fly as everything breaks down again. Alberto and Mundo are back with El Patron slapping Jack into the armbreaker but Mundo makes the save with the End of the World. Star goes up but dives into a rollup (with a handful of trunks) for the pin.

The announcers preview next week when Pentagon Jr. kicks Vampiro in the head and beats him with a chair. He vows to destroy this shell of a man and pulls out a can of gasoline. After dousing Vampiro, he promises to destroy him at Ultima Lucha. Pentagon pulls out a lighter and tells Vampiro he has one week to make a decision.

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Lucha Underground – July 1, 2015: Who Is Mexico?

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Date: July 1, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

Delavar Daivari vs. Texano

Konnan and Puma are getting ready when Catrina and Muertes come in to say the title is his. Then they disappear, which Konnan calls mind games.

Hernandez vs. Drago

A kick to the head staggers Hernandez on the top and sets up a hurricanrana for two. Not a bad power vs. speed match so far. Another kick to the face (well the heel but you get the idea) sets up an Asai corkscrew dive, only to have Hernandez Border Toss Drago onto the apron. A “fan” loses his belt and Drago gets whipped and choked for the DQ.

Marty Martinez vs. Alberto El Patron

Alberto punches him down in the corner and kicks at the ribs, setting up a Codebreaker on the arm and the cross armbreaker for the win in less than a minute.

Lucha Underground Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Prince Puma

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Lucha Underground – June 17, 2015: Yo That’s Different

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Date: June 17, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Matt Striker, Vampiro

Lucha Underground Title: Prince Puma vs. Johnny Mundo

The End of the World is broken up but Puma lays back on him for a quick pin to tie things up, of course with a grab of the ropes like a villain should be using. Back from another break with Mundo chilling on the floor 28:20 to go. Vampiro: “I am so happy that he cheated.” Back in and Mundo hits a big knee to the face for two but his superplex attempt turns into a slugout on the top rope.

Rating: A-. Well that worked. It dragged a little bit in the middle and the comebacks were a bit of a stretch (crowbar to the head!) but the key here was the logical flow. This felt like one long match instead of a bunch of different acts thrown together. That makes a long match so much easier to watch and the lack of any extended resting (which would have been understandable) helped a lot too. I had a good time here and while it was a bit of a stretch to have Puma pin Mundo four times in about twelve minutes, at least it made sense in context. Really good stuff.

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Lucha Underground – May 13, 2015: Fun Wrestling

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Date: May 13, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Matt Striker, Vampiro

We open with a recap of Patron beating Mundo last week for the right to face Hernandez tonight for the #1 contendership.

Cueto talks to his unseen brother about spending a fortune to find some medallions that will make a warrior stronger than a god. Tonight, the battles for the medallions begin.

The announcers mention a new superstar debuting tonight.

Aerostar vs. Jack Evans

Back in and Evans flips some more before kicking Star in the neck. Off to an STF of all things, which is surprising as you almost never see a submission in this company outside of Pentagon Jr. A standing corkscrew moonsault (Striker: “Ode to Blitzkrieg!” Makes sense as Blitzkrieg gave Evans the gimmick) gets two for Evans and he drops Star on his head with a German suplex.

A big hiptoss sends Evans to the floor and Star throws him into the barricade for good measure. Jack pops back up for a 450 off the same barricade to pop the crowd. Back in and Evans misses another springboard splash but catches Star on top. Evans: “EL MEJOR LUCHADOR!” (the best luchador). Star will have none of this and channels his inner Canadian with a super Canadian Destroyer for the pin.

Fenix vs. Sexy Star vs. The Mack vs. Killshot vs. Cage vs. King Cuerno vs. Pentagon Jr.

Cuerno and Killshot head inside to replace them with Killshot taking him to the mat. That lasts as long as you would expect until Killshot dropkicks him down, only to eat a hard kick to the head of his own. Star comes in with a shot from behind on Cuerno and is quickly replaced by Killshot, who gets his head taken off by Cage. The Mack comes back in and kicks Cage to the floor, only to have him run right back in to help Cuerno with a double suplex on Mack and Killshot.

Hernandez vs. Alberto El Patron

#1 contenders match and you have to win by pinfall or submission, basically making this a street fight. Feeling out process to start with Patron accepting a test of strength for no logical reason. Hernandez drives him into the corner and knocks him out to the floor for some rams into the apron. They get inside again and Patron gets two off a quick Backstabber but Hernandez runs him over to block the low superkick.

Mundo says this is his world as Patron is taken out on a stretcher.

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