Ring of Honor TV – February 10, 2016: I’d Hate To See The Bottom Prospects
Ring of Honor Date: February 10, 2016
Location: Cabarrus Arena and Events Center, Concord, North Carolina
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness
Things are picking up again around here, as they so often do as we come up on a big match. The big story continues to be the multi-man World Title match at the 14th Anniversary Show, but we also have the Top Prospect Tournament continuing, as well as the continuation of BJ Whitmer vs. Steve Corino. Let’s get to it.
Alex Shelley vs. Frankie Kazarian
Chris Sabin sits in on commentary. Shelley starts firing off chops as Sabin’s early advice doesn’t seem to have done much good. Kazarian’s dive is blocked with a kick to the head and it’s off to the knee to keep Alex in control. It doesn’t last long though as a slingshot DDT takes Shelly down as we go to a break. Back with Kazarian smacking Sabin in the face as Steve Corino calls in to the show. Corino is sick about what happened to Colby last week and he’s going to be back next week to deal with BJ Whitmer.
Shelley avoids a top rope legdrop and clotheslines Kazarian out to the floor. Back in and Kazarian grabs a swinging neckbreaker and a running Downward Spiral for two, only to get shoved away off the Killswitch. Shelley’s top rope splash hits knees though, only to have Kazarian pull out a hammer. Alex takes it away and glares at Sabin, setting up Sliced Bread #2 for the pin at 11:15.
Rating: C. I don’t care about this feud. Are they really building this up for the sake of a match between Sabin and Shelley? I know the Motor City Machine Guns were a big deal a few years back but are people still going to care about them enough to watch them fight in 2016? It doesn’t help that I’m really not feeling Shelley’s style and that Sabin is barely an active wrestler. I guess there’s an audience for it, but I’m really not feeling it.
Dalton Castle vs. Joey Daddiego
Before the match, Truth Martini suggests that the Boys need a daddy instead of someone teaching them to be a man. Joey takes him into the corner to start and does the WHO’S YOUR DADDY line. Castle easily takes over with a slam but does a big walk around the ring instead of diving through the ropes to take Joey out.
However, Martini actually does something for a change by crotching Castle on top, allowing him to get in the ring for some dancing. The Boys low bridge him to the floor though, leaving us with only the match for a change. A World’s Strongest Slam gets two for Joey but Castle starts the comeback with a running knee in the corner, followed by a running boot to the jaw for good measure. The Bang A Rang is enough to put Joey away at 3:35.
Rating: C-. Entertaining enough but it was a bit too much going on instead of just having the match. Daddiego is kind of worthless but at least there’s someone there to do the jobbing for the House of Truth. That being said, the entire stable is basically Truth, Lethal, Daddiego and Hendrix, which isn’t much more than Lethal and pals. Castle was fine though and is going to go somewhere once the Silas Young feud wraps up.
Speaking of Silas Young, here he is to make a final offer to Brent and Brendan (the Boys). As the Beer City Bruiser helps beat Castle down, Silas talks about how the Boys need to make their decision, only to have them fight back against Silas. That just earns them another beating and the villains get to yell a lot.
Top Prospect Tournament First Round: Leo St. Giovanni vs. Action Ortiz
Ortiz is described as a Bam Bam Bigelow type and was trained by Tommy Dreamer. Leo on the other hand has an MMA background. Ortiz gets knocked to the floor to start but blocks a charge with a big forearm to the face. Back in and Ortiz misses a Frog Splash, allowing Leo to go up for something like Xavier Woods’ Honor Roll from the top for two of his own. After a dive over the top to stagger him, Ortiz kicks Leo in the head to stagger him again. A belly to back flip suplex (as in Leo keeps going until he lands on his face) sends Ortiz to the next round at 3:45.
Rating: D. I really wasn’t feeling this one as neither guy had much of a presence. Leo was just a guy with a generic style and some decent flips, though it’s nothing that I haven’t seen a bunch of people do before. Ortiz is a bigger guy and moves well but again he doesn’t do anything for me. It’s not the worst, but it’s the same problem I’ve been worried about in this tournament: I don’t have any reason to care about these people and they’re not really helping things.
Stokely Hathaway wants Kazuchika Okada to face Moose at the Anniversary Show.
We look back at Final Battle to see the All Night Express becoming the #1 contenders.
Tag Team Titles: All Night Express vs. War Machine
War Machine (Hansen and Rowe in case you’re not familiar) are defending. Hansen and Titus get things going with the much bigger champion running him over. King comes in off a blind tag and an atomic drop/clothesline combination staggers Hansen, who comes right back with a double clothesline to take over again. It’s off to Rowe who terrifies King back into the corner for a tag to Rhett. Well that’s one way to switch things off.
The challengers take over but Hansen breaks up what looked like a powerbomb/neckbreaker combo. Rowe slams Hansen onto King for two, followed by Hansen powerbombing Rowe onto Titus as we take a break. Back with Titus low bridging Hansen to the floor but being pulled out of the air on a dive to Rowe. Everything breaks down with King being sent hard into the barricade with both teams diving back in at nineteen.
Titus will have none of this staying in the ring thing though as he and Hansen both dive through the ropes for huge crashes. Back in and King has to escape Fallout but he might have pulled the referee into the path of Hansen’s running knees. Titus pulls out a table (apparently not realizing that Nigel McGuinness is RIGHT THERE) but King gets driven through it, drawing a DQ at 11:02 as the referee wakes up just in time.
Rating: C+. The match wasn’t bad but it was clearly just a way to set up another title match at the pay per view. Knowing ROH, it’s going to be some big messy match with several teams that loses any sense of structure or order. However, this actually worked with the Express hanging in there with the monsters for the entire match and then somehow winning in the end. Well done and a reason to watch the rematch.
The teams keep brawling to end the show as the fans want to see them fight.
Overall Rating: C. I liked the show for the most part with enough of the stories rolling along, though the World Title situation continues to not really be a priority around here. It’s cool that so many other things are treated as major ideas but the old fan in me wants to see the World Title as the centerpiece of the promotion instead of just another part of the show. Good enough show here but it was a step beneath some of their recent efforts.
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Ring of Honor TV – January 20, 2016: Thy Kingdom Goes Away
Ring of Honor Date: January 20, 2016
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 600 Commentators: Mr. Wrestling III, Kevin Kelly
It’s the final night of the Philadelphia tapings with a Philadelphia Street Fight between the Young Bucks, the Kingdom and ReDRagon. If they give this match this time, it could be quite an entertaining match. We’re getting closer to the 14th Anniversary Show for the next pay per view but nothing has been set up yet. Let’s get to it.
Addiction vs. Alex Shelley/ACH
This is more about building up Shelley vs. Sabin down the line. Kazarian takes Shelley into the corner to start but accidentally forearms Daniels off the apron for some good old fashioned heel miscommunication. Alex grabs a dragon sleeper but lets it go when Sabin gets on the apron for a distraction.
ACH dropkicks Kazarian down and it’s quickly off to Daniels who is taken down just as quickly. Everything breaks down for a bit and some fast double teaming puts ACH in trouble, including something like a Diamond Cutter onto Daniels’ knee as we take a break. Back with ACH rolling over for a hot tag so Shelley can speed things up.
A Downward Spiral sends Kazarian face first into the middle buckle but Daniels comes back in with a top rope stomp to the chest, only to allow the hot tag a few seconds later. Everything breaks down and Shelly kicks Daniels into a German suplex for two. Sabin shakes the ropes to break up the Midnight Star, setting up Celebrity Rehab to give Addiction the pin at 9:48.
Rating: C-. Shelley and ACH are firmly in that category of wrestlers that I just don’t care for. I get the idea behind both guys but they both seem to be going off more of a set pattern than wrestling naturally, which rarely works for me. Addiction is fine in the ring but I’d like to see them get more mic time as it’s definitely their strong suit.
Post match Addiction beats on Shelley even more until Daniels punches the referee, which brings out Nigel to suspend him indefinitely without pay.
Mark Briscoe vs. Adam Page
Page won’t shake hands to start because he’s a good heel. Some early Redneck Kung Fu doesn’t work but Adam misses the standing shooting star press. Mark kicks him into the corner and now the crane kick connects for Briscoe. A brainbuster gets two for Mark but he charges into a powerslam into the corner for two. The fans are all over Whitmer as the announcers talk about the Top Prospect Tournament.
Mark dropkicks Page to the floor and hits the running Blockbuster off the apron. They chop it out a bit until Page gets two off a jumping DDT (ala Dolph Ziggler). Mark sends him to the apron but can’t kick him out to the floor, allowing Page to slingshot in for a clothesline to take over. BJ Whitmer yells about Mr. Wrestling III being Steve Corino, only to have Briscoe come back with a fisherman’s buster and the Froggy Bow for the pin at 6:32.
Rating: D+. This whole match was a collection of spots. I didn’t see a single instance of psychology, trying to put something together or either guy doing anything other than his signature spots. It wasn’t bad or boring or anything, but could you at least work an arm or something instead of just doing the stuff you always do?
Post break, Whitmer tells Mr. Wrestling III to unmask and be a father to Colby Corino. Mr. Wrestling III gets in the ring and asks Whitmer if he has a question for him. Whitmer tries to reply but he can’t get a word out before the fans boo him out of the building. BJ says everyone knows that it’s Steve Corino under the mask but Mr. Wrestling III denies it again. He does know Corino however, and Corino knows someone that wants to take Whitmer out. However, instead of saying who that is, Mr. Wrestling III just tells the Decade to leave. Well that ended flat.
Silas Young comes out and calls what happened with the Boys at Final Battle a disappointment. Whether the fans believe it or not, the Boys appreciated learning how to mow his lawn and shovel his driveway. The Boys have one chance to do the right thing and learn to be men.
Young Bucks vs. ReDRagon vs. Kingdom
It’s Cole/Bennett for the Kingdom here and this is a street fight. The Bucks jump O’Reilly and Fish during the entrances and we’re starting fast. The injured Taven gets a double superkick, as does ring announcers Bobby Cruz. ReDRagon gets back in to work on the Bucks, only to have the Kingdom come in again to turn this into a wild brawl that is going to be almost impossible to keep track of.
Bennett punches Fish down and it’s Cole setting Matt in a chair in the middle of the ring. A running charge sets up a chinlock and even Kelly has to acknowledge that it’s a spot they’ve seen before. Kyle backdrops Nick on the floor for a thud before diving into a superkick. We take a break and come back with Cole in a shopping cart and being wheeled into a superkick.
The Bucks set up a table at ringside but it’s ReDRagon double teaming Matt inside. The Kingdom brings in a ladder (Mr. Wrestling III: “It’s amazing what you can find in south Philadelphia”) to take out ReDRagon and it’s Cole putting the ladder around his neck. That only allows ReDRagon to blast the ladder with chairs before setting the ladder on top of those chairs.
Bennett comes back in to spinebuster Kyle onto the steel but the Bucks powerbomb him (Bennett) through the ladder. A Swanton onto the ladder sets up More Bang For Your Buck but Cole pulls the referee out at two. Kevin Kelly accidentally eats a superkick and Mr. Wrestling III freaks out while still shouting SUPERKICK in a funny moment.
We take another break and come back with Cole hitting the Canadian Destroyer on Matt but walking into a superkick from Nick. Bennett takes Chasing the Dragon on the floor, leaving O’Reilly and Cole to fight in the aisle. That leaves Fish alone against the Bucks but he stops to spear Bennett through a table on the floor. A double superkick off the apron gives Fish the weakest table bump in history with Nick having to splash him the rest of the way through.
Back in and the Bucks put a party hat on Bennett for a superkick party, only to have Maria hit them both low for a save. This brings out AJ Styles to hit Bennett in the ribs with a chair before laying him out with Bloody Sunday. Maria gets a Meltzer Driver and the Indytaker into the Styles Clash puts Bennett away at 16:45.
Rating: B. Totally wild brawl here and a lot of fun at the same time. This wasn’t about anything more than carnage and that’s all they delivered the entire time. The piledriver to Maria was a good way to write her off TV and the Kingdom goes out in a great performance, especially considering it wasn’t their usual combination.
Overall Rating: C+. This is a one match show and there’s nothing wrong with that, especially when one match takes up so much of the hour. The only annoying thing here was the syndication schedule causing some issues as Mike and Maria debuted in TNA two weeks before this aired. Still though, the show was fun enough with the main event being a really good time.
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Best of Motor City Machine Guns: I Don’t Think That Word Means What You Think It Means
Best of Motor City Machine Guns Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz, Don West
Host: Jeremy Borash
On the other side of the spectrum from the technical brawlers of Beer Money, we have the fast paced high fliers in the Guns. This is one of the most popular teams the company has ever had, but unfortunately just like the other set, a lot of great stuff happened after this was filmed. This actually includes a lot of singles stuff too. Let’s get to it.
Borash does a quick intro to try and tie this into the Beer Money part, even though it’s completely separate.
The Guns talk about how great the tag team division is in TNA right now.
Brutus Magnus vs. Chris Sabin
From Against All Odds 2009 and Magnus is issuing an open challenge. This is when Magnus was a Roman gladiator, based on his character on the UK show Gladiators. This was referenced by Tenay except for one thing: he never actually said what Gladiators actually was. That’s kind of important to mention no? Magnus easily shoves him down to start as the fans chant USA. They stay on the mat with Magnus holding a horrible armbar until Sabin fights up for a kick to the ribs. He escapes a gorilla press and goes after the legs until Magnus just ends him with a clothesline.
A delayed vertical suplex gets no cover on Sabin but a slingshot elbow has him in trouble. After a chinlock goes nowhere, Sabin fights up and nails a springboard clothesline for two. He tries to get too fast though and has his hurricanrana countered with a powerbomb. Magnus misses a charge and falls to the floor, only to get taken down by a big plancha. Back in and Magnus grabs the referee, earning him a shove into the ropes to crotch Sabin. Tormentum (a spinning Samoan drop) is enough to give Magnus the pin.
Rating: D+. That’s how you open a DVD about how great the Guns are? With a dull match ending in a loss? The gladiator character really didn’t do much for me and Magnus would be far more interesting once he just became a British guy. I still can’t get over this loss though. What’s the thinking here?
The Guns talk about having experience all over the world and how it’s made them a stronger team.
X-Division Title: Alex Shelley vs. Eric Young
Also from Against All Odds 2009 and Shelley is defending. For some reason they aired these matches out of order, meaning that this match was spoiled by the commentary in the previous match. Alexis is the villain here here and Eric hammers away to start before clotheslining him out to the floor. They keep trading places with no contact until Alex gets dropkicked off the apron, setting up a slingshot plancha from Young.
Shelley comes right back by sending Eric into the barricade, only to be sent into it as well. That’s fine with Alex though as he sidesteps a dive, sending Eric into the steel a second time. Back in and Alex kicks him out of the air before putting on a bow and arrow hold. A top rope knee to the back has Young in even more trouble as they head out to the apron.
Alex tries a catapult out there but can’t send Young anywhere. He can however duck a charge, sending Young crashing over the post. Back in and Shelley nails some running elbows to the face and a low dropkick for two. Off to a cobra clutch for a few moments before Young grabs a quick flapjack to get a breather. A discus lariat gets two for Eric but Alex hits a top rope jawbreaker of all things. Young’s Death Valley Driver is countered but he nails a springboard Fameasser for two.
The champ avoids a moonsault and nails what would become known as Sister Abigail for two. A standing Sliced Bread #2 gets the same and Shelley takes him up top. Young tries to counter but winds up eating a Mysterio sitout bulldog, followed by a nice Frog Splash for an even closer two. They head back up again with Eric countering something into a hot shot onto the buckle. For some reason Young stops to argue with the referee, allowing Shelley to grab a rollup to retain.
Rating: C. Not bad here but Young barely got in any offense after the first few minutes. It wound up being an extended squash with an odd ending, as Young didn’t even cover before he went over to yell at the referee for no apparent reason. It’s not a bad match or anything but it was oddly worked.
The Guns name the Midnight Express as their greatest influence and say they have to rely on their minds rather than their physical abilities.
Steel Asylum
Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Curry Man, Jimmy Rave, Jay Lethal, Johnny Devine, Petey Williams, Shark Boy, Sonjay Dutt, Super Eric
From Bound For Glory 2008. You should know who everyone is here. Super Eric is Eric Young as a superhero and is part of the Prince Justice Brotherhood along with Shark Boy and Curry Man (Christopher Daniels as an Indian curry company mascot). This is inside a big red cage with a dome on top. There’s a hole in the top of the dome and the first person to climb up and out gets an X-Division Title shot at some point in the future. Since there are ten men in the ring, it’s almost impossible to tell what’s going on.
Everyone goes after everyone to start with the Brotherhood and the Guns taking over early on. Shark Boy gets beaten up in the corner and then Devine gets the same treatment. The abused start fighting now as Sharky stomps on Johnny in the corner. We get a six man suplex with the Brotherhood all getting suplexed at the same time. Naturally they sell way too long for a suplex but that’s what you get in big spots like that.
Petey hooks his Russian legsweep on Dutt but gets pulled down when trying to escape. Curry Man goes up but Shelley makes a save. Alex’s climb goes just as well with Shark Boy leg sweeping him down. Super Eric drops Devine with a neckbreaker off the middle rope before Lethal and Dutt slug it out on the top rope. Curry Man takes Sonjay down with the Tokyo Dangerous backbreaker off the ropes. Lethal hurricanranas Rave off the top and Shelley adds a frog splash for good measure.
Eric hits a Death Valley Driver on both Devine and Dutt at the same time but the Guns stop him from leaving. The Guns take everyone down until Petey nails Shelley with a Canadian Destroyer. Shark Boy hits a double Stunner off the top to plant Shelley and Petey at the same time. The parade of finishers begins and Devine is the last man standing. Dutt gets up to stop his escape attempt though and Curry Man takes everyone down so he can do his dance. Curry almost gets to the exit but Dutt pulls him down. Lethal hammers Dutt in the ribs and climbs out for the win.
Rating: C. These matches are fun but they get really tiring after awhile. You can only see these spots for so long before you want some kind of storytelling or coherence after awhile. The match was entertaining but I’d much rather have like five guys in there at most. It would make things flow so much easier instead of being the mess that it was.
The Guns talk about not getting opportunities for about fifteen seconds.
Rock and Rave Infection vs. Kaz/Eric Young vs. Rellik/Black Reign vs. LAX vs. Motor City Machine Guns vs. Petey Williams/Scott Steiner
From Lockdown 2008. This is one of the dumbest ideas TNA has ever had: Cuffed In A Cage. It’s an elimination match but you only eliminate a team by handcuffing them to the cage. I’ve never gotten Russo’s obsession with handcuffs but I have a feeling it’s rather disturbing. On top of that, we don’t even have tags so it’s everyone fighting to start. The Infection is a bad rock band (complete with Rock Band guitars) made of Jimmy Rave and Lance Rock. Before the match we see Young getting laid out by Rellik (Johnny the Bull) and Black Reign (Dustin Rhodes) to continue their stupid monster feud, leaving Kaz to go it alone.
It’s a huge brawl to start of course and there’s almost no way to call anything. Steiner gets taken down and stomped by the monsters and Rock before they quickly cuff him. Eric Young stumbles out to make sure have TWELVE people in the ring at once. Thankfully the monsters keep him out because Eric is afraid of them. Young walks out and heads to the back, leaving Kaz all alone.
The match is still a huge mess where you can barely tell what’s going on, even with things slowing down. Kaz sidesteps Sabin to send him into the cage before cuffing him to the cage. Shelley gets cuffed as well, eliminating the Guns. Williams gets beaten up by the monsters and cuffed to the cage. This is almost like a battle royal as there’s nothing going on between these eliminations.
A Doomsday Cutter from LAX drops Rave and Hernandez just LAUNCHES him into the steel. Rock makes a save with a clothesline as Kaz hits the Flux Capacitor (top rope C4) to knock Rave silly. The monsters are on him almost immediately and LAX has been cuffed. So we’ve got Kaz, Rock and Rave, Reign and Rellik still in it. Rock and Kaz head up top with Lance chokeslamming him down, allowing the monsters to cuff Kaz.
The fans are screaming for Super Eric and get him almost immediately. It’s Eric Young as a superhero which keeps him from being afraid of the monsters. Young dives onto all four guys left in the match and quickly cuffs the Infection. So it’s Young vs. Reign/Rellik as everyone else is still in the ring, cuffed to the side of the cage. Do you have any idea how hard it is to have a handicap match where you can barely reach the side of the cage? Rellik tries to cuff Eric but gets cuffed instead, leaving Eric to piledrive Reign and cuff him for the win.
Rating: D-. There was barely any wrestling, the match was such a mess because there were so many people in it, and the whole thing was a disaster. Young being afraid of the monsters worked if you didn’t think about it, but Reign and Rellik were pretty horrible in the roles, which didn’t make things any better.
The Guns talk about the idea behind the team: two bodies, one mind.
Steel Asylum
Sonjay Dutt, Curry Man, Consequences Creed, Shark Boy, Jimmy Rave, Kaz, Chris Sabin, Alex Shelley, Johnny Devine, Jay Lethal
From Sacrifice 2008. It’s the same concept as earlier, meaning everyone is in the ring at once and the first man to climb out wins a shot at the X-Division Title. By the way, this is the fifth match on the set and the Guns have only been a team in the cuffed match, where they were eliminated first. This isn’t much of a Best Of set. TNA boss Jim Cornette comes out and offers the winner a spot in tonight’s World Title match due to Angle being unable to compete.
Again it’s the big red cage with ten guys inside at once so you can barely keep track of what’s going on. Creed takes Curry Man (Daniels) down with a flip clothesline but gets nailed by Rave. Sharky dropkicks Kaz but gets double teamed by the Guns’ speed offense. Sonjay’s piledriver attempt on Shelley is countered into a reverse powerbomb (that’s a finisher waiting to be made).
We get our first attempt at an escape with Creed going up, only to dive down onto Kaz instead. The Guns beat up Curry Man again before Sonjay throws Sabin into Shelley, causing Chris to DDT Alex when Sonjay takes Sabin down with a neckbreaker. It’s as stupid as it sounds. Back up and we get a ridiculous six man Tower of Doom, capped off by Devine hitting a hurricanrana off the top of the cage.
Rave stops Lethal from escaping before taking him down with a freaky spinning Angle Slam kind of move. Sharky hits the Chummer (Stunner) on Shelley followed by the Dead Sea Drop (Diamond Dust) on Sabin. Curry Man takes Dutt up top for a powerbomb onto everyone else for a huge crash. Rave and Curry slug it out until Curry Man hits a top rope Spice Rack (upside down AA) as this just keeps going. Kaz takes Curry Man down with a Flux Capacitor but Creed stops him from escaping. Devine piledrives Creed down and goes up, only to have Kaz throw him onto the pile again, allowing Kaz to climb out for the win.
Rating: C+. The match is a total spot fest but man alive it gets annoying to have these big messes. It was like they were trying to come up with stuff to fill in time instead of having any kind of flow to the match. On top of all that, the Guns continue to barely be a factor in their own DVD set. What’s up with that?
The Guns talk about what it means to face Team 3D.
X-Division Title: Jay Lethal/Motor City Machine Guns vs. Johnny Devine/Team 3D
From Against All Odds 2008. Believe it or not, this has a bunch of stipulations. Team 3D and X-Division Champion Devine have gone to war against the X-Division and if they win here, the division disbands. If Lethal and the Guns win, Team 3D has to weigh less than 275lbs to wrestle and the person who gets the fall wins the X-Division Title. Got all that?
It’s a huge brawl to start as you would expect and thankfully we go split screen to see most of it. I say most of it because there’s a huge AGAINST ALL ODDS logo covering the top half of the screen. Is that there in case you’ve bought all the PPVs that night and are flipping through the channels to pick something to watch? They finally start heading inside with Lethal nailing Ray in the head with a Dead End sign. The good guys hit stereo dives to the floor to take out everyone else in a nice visual.
Now we get the big weapons, including Sabin throwing in an inflatable doll. We also get the now clichéd kitchen sink, which makes West far too excited. Team 3D takes some sink shots to the face as Devine chokes Lethal on the floor. The Guns put sleepers on 3D and Lethal gets back in, only to take a double suplex from Team 3D, driving the Guns into the mat in the process. The villains take over with Devine nailing Lethal in the head with a keyboard for two.
Sabin saves Lethal from a big kendo stick shot and the Guns start speeding things up again to take over. High/Low gets two on D-Von but he pops back up to nail 3D on Sabin. Shelley eats one of his own but Lethal nails a springboard dropkick to drop D-Von. The fans want tables as Ray nails Lethal to take over again. Jay’s girlfriend So Cal Val is begging them to stop but Lethal flips Ray off, earning him a trashcan shot to the head. Ray pulls Val in as Tenay freaks out, because the idea of Team 3D attacking a woman is just sick right Mike?
Lethal saves Val from a cheese grater to the head and takes Ray down with a top rope hurricanrana. D-Von pulls the referee out at two so Jay dives onto him as this has basically turned into a handicap match. Jay’s springboard clothesline gets two on Ray and the Lethal Combination gets the same on Devine. A huge Bubba Bomb puts Jay down for two as it’s table time. Jay fights off all three guys again and blasts Devine with the Dead End sign. A Macho Elbow through Devine through the table gives Jay the title. The Guns weren’t seen for the last four minutes of the match.
Rating: C. The match was fun, if not TOTALLY RIDICULOUS. I mean, I’m supposed to believe that Jay Lethal can beat Team 3D and the X-Division Champion on his own in a street fight? The Guns continue to mean nothing on this set, which is really starting to get old. Can we see them featured in a single match already? They certainly weren’t here, as this was all about Jay Lethal.
The Guns talk about Generation Me being younger versions of them. Generation Me (the Young Bucks) aren’t on the set but it’s nice to hear about them.
IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Titles: LAX vs. Motor City Machine Guns vs. No Limit
From Lockdown 2009 and inside a cage with the Guns defending. No Limit is a Japanese team comprises of Naito and Yujiro. No tags again here as we have to make sure everything is as big of a mess as possible. Naturally it’s a brawl to start and I have no idea which member of No Limit is which. I believe Naito goes up for a cross body but Shelley breaks up his second attempt by tying him into the Tree of Woe.
Hernandez yells at the referee as Homicide elbows Yujiro in the jaw to take over. Yujiro powers Homicide up into a powerslam for two. Sabin kicks Hernandez in the head but has his Octopus Hold easily broken up. Hernandez just LAUNCHES Sabin into the cage in an awesome looking crash. Shelley chops away at SuperMex but Sabin has to break up a delayed superplex. That’s fine with Hernandez as he suplexes both of them down with ease.
No Limit takes the Guns down as well but LAX runs them over like the generic foreigners that they are. A middle rope knee drop gives Homicide a two count on Yujiro but the Guns get back up to crotch Homicide on the ropes. They bust out the kicks on Hernandez before putting Homicide on his shoulders for a missile dropkick, driving both members of LAX into the mat.
No Limit gets back up and hits a kind of Poetry In Motion on Shelley, setting up a big splash from Hernandez. A middle rope dropkick to the ribs gets two on Yujiro but Hernandez easily blocks a sunset flip attempt from Sabin. Chris gets LAUNCHED into the cage again as Hernandez is just way too strong for everyone. Shelley gets Border Tossed into the cage but No Limit slams down both members of LAX with Hernandez kicking out at two.
Sabin avoids a swan dive from Yujiro and a corkscrew moonsault from Naito as the Guns take over again. LAX gets back up though and takes Yujiro down with a Doomsday Cutter. The Guns bust out the kicks on Hernandez and nail a sitout powerbomb/Sliced Bread #2 (Made In Detroit) on Naito to retain the belts.
Rating: C. This was the first somewhat traditional match we’ve had on this entire set and it was only so good. Naito and Yujiro were just warm bodies out there and barely did anything for the entire match. LAX vs. the Guns would be a far better match, assuming you can overlook Hernandez not being a junior heavyweight.
The Guns talk about some international teams that they think would be great opponents, including Apollo 55 from New Japan.
Team Mexico vs. Team Japan vs. Team TNA vs. Team International
Team Mexico – Ultimo Guerrero/Rey Bucanero/Averno
Team Japan – Milano Collection A.T./Masato Yoshino/Puma
Team International – Alex Kozlov/Doug Williams/Tyson Dux
Team TNA – Curry Man/Alex Shelley/Chris Sabin
From Victory Road 2008 and this is part of the World X Cup, which was something like a World Cup for X-Division wrestling. This is a four corners elimination match with the winners getting three points, second place getting two points and third place getting one point. Also this isn’t the final, as there’s an Ultimate X match later on in the show.
Curry Man starts with Yoshino and eats a quick dropkick that might have just needed some sauce (I apologize for that joke already). The Guns quickly come in and hammer away on Yoshino, firing off some incredibly fast kicks in the process. Dux tags himself in to work on Sabin before handing it off to Williams for a running knee in the corner. This is moving incredibly fast so far.
An inverted Gory Stretch/Dragon Sleeper combo has Sabin in major trouble before it’s off to all three members of Team Mexico to clean house on Williams. Dux takes a spinebuster/neckbreaker combination before Guerrero hits a big flip dive to take out Douglas. A quick rollup gives Bucanero a pin on Dux as this ring needs to be cleared out a bit.
Yoshino and Bucanero fight on the floor before Yoshino throws him back inside for a double team from the other Japanese guys. Off to Bucanero vs. Puma with Ray hitting a kind of reverse sitout powerbomb for two. Mexico and Japan have an insanely fast sequence ending in Puma kicking Milano by mistake, allowing Averno to faceplant Puma down for the pin.
Milano flips Averno to the apron but gets kicked in the head, followed by a low superkick for two with Ray making the save. Sabin tries a springboard forearm but Milao Matrixes down to avoid any contact. Shelley comes in at the same time but both guys get taken down into a single half crab from Milano. Curry Man makes a save but Milano pretends to take a low blow, only to have a second referee say Sabin didn’t cheat. Instead Sabin kicks Milano in the head, setting up the Cradle Shock for an elimination.
So we’re down to all three TNA guys, Kozlov and Williams for International, all three Mexico guys and just Yoshino for Japan. Yoshino grabs a kind of double leg Fameasser for two on Sabin but Shelley comes in off a hot tag to kick Yoshino in the head. The Guns speed things up again with some hard kicks to the head for two more but Yoshino comes back with an Octopus Hold on Shelley. Sabin makes a fast save but Averno tags himself in to hit a kind of reverse spinout powerbomb (popular move tonight) for two on Yoshino. They trade rollups until Yoshino cradles Averno down for the pin.
Kozlov comes in to powerslam Curry Man but stops for his dancing kicks spot. Williams slides in for Rolling Chaos Theory on Sabin with Curry making a save. It’s Williams and Curry Man slugging it out now until Team Mexico double teams Curry Man in the corner. Guerrero throws Bucanero onto Williams’ back before powerbombing Curry Man down for an elimination. Guerrero puts Williams over his knees for a corkscrew plancha from Bucanero for the pin.
We’re down to the Guns for TNA, Bucanero and Guerrero for Mexico, Kozlov for International and Yoshino for Japan. The Guns dropkick Team Mexico to the floor but miss their dives. Kozlov tries to start a RUSSIA chant in the ring so Guerrero counters with a MEXICO chant. He might actually have a chance as this show is in Houston. Kozlov kicks Guerrero low and puts on a kind of cobra clutch crossface for the submission. Bucanero comes right in and faceplants Kozlov for two, sending Kozlov off to tag in Sabin.
Bucanero goes up top but takes a huge hurricanrana from Sabin, followed by a double kick from the Guns for an elimination, finishing off Team Mexico. Yoshino eats some kicks to the face as well before the Guns but out some insane double teams, including a dropkick into a Downward Spiral, for two on Kozlov. The Russian dives into a dropkick to the ribs and eats an RKO followed by a wicked clothesline for two. Kozlov is almost done but still grabs a rollup on Sabin with his feet on the ropes for the pin.
It’s Shelley vs. Kozlov vs. Yoshino now with Kozlov hitting a huge dive to take out his fellow Alex in a big crash. Yoshino fires off strikes to Kozlov’s face, followed by Sin Cara’s La Mistica mat slam for two. A kind of armbar makes Kozlov tap and we’re down to one on one. Shelley comes back in but takes too much time setting something up, allowing Yoshino to nail a dropkick for two.
A quick Sliced Bread #2 gets two on Yoshino but he blocks a Frog Splash with raised knees. Shelley puts him on top for a superkick, only to get caught in a kind of springboard spinning Zig Zag to give Yoshino a VERY close near fall. Yoshino says that’s it and takes him up top, only to take a top rope atomic drop, followed by Sheamus’ White Noise to give Shelley the pin.
Rating: B+. This took some time to get going but once they got going it was nothing but fast paced action the entire way. Some of those near falls were excellent and they kept the match moving fast enough that you couldn’t keep up with what was going on. Keeping it up for over twenty four minutes is very impressive and the match was a blast.
Interestingly enough, the rest of this DVD isn’t on the video TNA put up on its official YouTube channel and I had to find it myself. That’s rather odd, especially when the Beer Money disc was there in its entirety.
The Guns talk about singles competition and how it means a lot to them, just like teaming together.
X-Division Title: Suicide vs. Daniels vs. Amazing Red vs. Homicide vs. Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley
From Bound For Glory 2008 and it’s Ultimate X with Red defending. Red is a guy that was around near the beginning of TNA and did some very impressive flips, earning the adulation of Don West. Don is now managing the champ and was known to climb on the announcers’ table and cheer for him. Sabin and Shelley won a match on the preshow to get in this match. Suicide is a video game character who started appearing on TV, portrayed by Daniels or Kazarian (the latter here). Homicide is part of the World Elite stable, which is a group of international wrestlers, led by Eric Young, who feel they haven’t been treated right.
It’s a mad scramble to the corners to start but no one can get anywhere. Everyone goes after everyone with Homicide getting the biggest advantage by taking down Shelley and diving through the ropes to take out Daniels. Suicide rolls the champion over and dives onto Homicide but the Guns work together to set up a suicide dive on…uh Suicide actually. Red kicks Shelley but gets dropped by Daniels, who goes for a climb. Red isn’t done yet and hurricanranas Daniels onto everyone else in the match.
Back in and Sabin busts out a giant swing on Red but Shelley adds a dropkick to the champ’s head to make it even worse. Daniels attacks both Guns and Homicide goes for a climb, only to have Suicide springboard up to the ropes and make a save, only to get pulled down into a Gringo Cutter. Sabin holds Daniels and Homicide for a top rope double stomp from Shelley.
The Guns continue their control by working over Red but the champion escapes a Doomsday Device with a Sliced Bread #2 instead of a clothesline and takes Sabin down with a hurricanrana. Suicide comes back in but Homicide suplexes him down. Homicide drops the champ and goes up but Daniels pulls him down and nails a Death Valley Driver. Red goes for the ropes but slowly comes back down for some reason, only to go back towards the belt until Suicide pulls him back down.
Now it’s Daniels and Sabin going up and kicking at each other while hanging in the air, eventually knocking each other down for a big crash. Sabin nails a tornado DDT on Daniels and Shelley nails a Sliced Bread #2 on Suicide. We get the Parade of Secondary Finishers, followed by Shelley, Red and Suicide hitting a huge Tower of Doom out of the corner with Suicide taking the worst of it (and kicking Daniels in the face on the way down).
Suicide throws Daniels down but Red kicks him in the face and gets caught by a corkscrew dive. Sabin goes nuts until Suicide kicks him off the top rope. Suicide goes right back up and hits the Flux Capacitor on Sabin, setting up Daniels’ Best Moonsault Ever. Daniels and Suicide climb onto the top of the structure above the cables and Red follows after them.
The fans ask them not to die so Daniels and Suicide tease suplexing each other off. They slap each other until Daniels carefully climbs down onto the X but Suicide does the same and they both fall with Daniels landing on his head. Tazz rightfully shouts CHECK HIM as Red slips down through the treeses as well and grabs the title before someone dies.
Rating: C+. That Daniels bump had me terrified when I saw it live and it doesn’t get any easier here. Thankfully he was ok for the most part. I can’t emphasize how much better this was than last year’s opener with just six men involved. It gives the match a chance to breathe and you can keep track of what’s going on. This was a good opener but the Daniels fall made it hard to sit through at the end.
What would happen if they fought each other? We would find out at Genesis 2009.
X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley
From Genesis 2009 and it’s a tournament final. They circle each other to start until Alex grabs an armbar. Sabin grabs one of his own but gets kicked off and they nip up to a standoff. Back up and Sabin cranks on the arm a bit more until Shelley takes him down by the leg. They get up again and speed things WAY up with armdrags and flips into another standoff.
Sabin gets in the first major shot of the match with a kick to the face before cranking on an armbar with his leg around Shelley’s head. Chris sends him out to the floor for a big suicide dive, driving Alex’s head into the announcers’ table. Back in and Sabin drapes Sabin over the middle rope, setting up a Harlem Hangover into a Fameasser for a close two. They trade chops with Shelley getting the better of it before hitting a Lionsault for two. Off to an abdominal stretch from Alex with an additional arm crank for good measure.
It doesn’t last long though as Sabin tries Cradle Shock, only to have Alex escape and send him face first into the mat. That’s fine with Sabin who pops up and kicks Shelley’s head off for two. They slug it out again with Sabin knocking him into the corner for a running elbow to the jaw.
A big springboard tornado DDT gets two on Alex as Sabin is getting frustrated. He goes for another springboard but dives into a Crossface which Shelley spins into an attempted tiger suplex, only to have Chris send him into the corner for a break. Sabin snaps off the tiger suplex for two and White Noise gets the same for Shelley. Alex blocks a top rope hurricanrana and plants Sabin with a slam, only to have his Frog Splash hit knees.
Sabin misses a kick of his own and Alex nails two straight Frog Splashes for two. Back up and Sabin nails a clothesline and Cradle Shock gets two. A middle rope Cradle Shock is countered into a super Sliced Bread #2 for another near fall and Alex is STUNNED. He loads up another Sliced Bread but Sabin throws him off, only to have Shelley come up limping. Sabin checks on his partner and gets rolled up for the pin to give Alex the title.
Rating: C+. I liked most of this and the idea was decent enough, but the opening was kind of a stretch. The idea is that they think the exact same way, but there comes a point where it’s clearly choreographed and there’s almost no way around it. The rest of it worked well enough with a bunch of near falls, and they probably did the right thing with a shifty ending instead of letting one member get a fair pin.
The Guns talk about how the future is more important to wrap things up.
Overall Rating: D+. What the heck was that? I’m really not sure how this can be described as the Best of the Motor City Machine Guns when there’s a single match where they’re a regular team and the rest is almost all about them either in a big gimmick match or as afterthoughts in a multiman singles match. They said the fans picked these matches, which makes me think the fans don’t like the Guns all that much. This set needed to be released about three years later, when the Guns had built up a big catalog of matches to pick from. Like a title win for example.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
We’re going old school today with a man I met three times over Wrestlemania weekend: Bob Backlund.
Backlund started in 1973 but we’ll pick things up on August 28, 1978 in MSG. Backlund is already WWF World Champion (only clips of the win exist) and defending against one of the top guys of the 1970s.
WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Ivan Koloff
Bob is defending and Ivan has Captain Lou Albano, an old heel manager with him. Backlund has only been champion about six months at this point. The name graphic leaves the A out of Backlund’s name. Backlund backdrops him to start as the crowd goes very silent for some reason. A headscissors puts Ivan down and Backlund holds on with a leg vice around Ivan’s head. They go to the mat and Backlund bridges up in a nice power display.
Ivan puts him on the top rope but gets kicked away. Off to another standoff and it’s test of strength time. Backlund goes down but comes back with a top wristlock, only to get caught in a headscissors. This goes on for a few minutes until Bob does a reverse nipup to escape. He dropkicks Ivan down and hooks a headscissors of his own as this is getting repetitive. Then again this is the way a lot of these matches went back then so this would be considered a big deal back then.
Backlund takes him back down again but gets caught in headscissors #4 of the match so far. Backlund finally gets out of that one as well and works on the knee a bit. Somehow we’re over fifteen minutes into this despite almost nothing happening other than headscissors so far. Bob stays on the leg and hooks a hold on for a few minutes. That’s another sign of the times: holds stay on FOREVER. I mean this one has been on for nearly four minutes at this point.
It finally gets broken up and Ivan suplexes him down for two. The idea of selling an injury must not have been invented yet. Or maybe it just doesn’t translate into Russian. Ivan hooks a short arm scissors but Bob shows off his surprising strength by lifting Ivan up into the air and over his head, slamming him down onto the mat back first to break the hold.
Bob puts him on the top rope to counter and hooks something like a spinning toehold. Thankfully this one lasts less than the usual two hours with Ivan kicking him in the ribs. Ivan sends him into the ropes but they ram heads, sending Bob to the floor. Koloff is smart and breaks up the count so he can still win the title. Backlund gets rammed into the post and a backbreaker gets two.
Ivan goes up top for the biggest pop from the crowd(and possibly the only one so far) of the match but his top rope knee drop misses. Backlund sends him in but gets kicked down again, this time back to the floor again. Koloff breaks up the count again, this time by going up top and jumping down onto the apron, kicking Bob in the head on the way down. That would be considered a big spot back then.
Backlund is busted open and we have to have the doctor look at it. That doesn’t work so the fight continues. Backlund goes off as he is known to do and Ivan is in trouble. A backdrop puts the challenger down…and the match is stopped because of the cut. Trash fills the ring and I can’t quite say I blame them for that.
Rating: C-. The ending was stupid but it had more to do with the athletic commission rather than the booking or anything. That being said, it made no sense to say Backlund can’t continue when he was beating the tar out of Koloff but whatever. Also, this match was fairly boring as I was looking for things to talk about during those rest holds which went on forever. I know it’s a different era, but that doesn’t make it any less dull.
Backlund wants to keep going but Ivan walks away. The title doesn’t change hands for some reason even though Ivan wins.
Against the first Intercontinental Champion in a cage on September 24, 1979 in MSG.
WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Pat Patterson
This is from September of 79 apparently. Patterson is the IC Champion here and is a cage match expert but Backlund has never been in one. Patterson was more or less the top heel in the company by default here. They start off fast as Backlund is all fired up here. Patterson tries to get out early and that goes nowhere.
Both guys get incredibly close but can’t get all the way out. Patterson almost gets out with Backlund literally dragging him back over the top by a single leg. They keep fighting to try to get out as this is definitely more about winning than violence which is fine. We clip the match to them being on the mat and Patterson hammers away on a cut on Backlund’s head. From what I can find only about three minutes out of 16 total were clipped so we get the vast majority here.
Patterson is busted too. Vince calls the WWF Champion a gallant lad. That’s sweet. Patterson goes into the cage and Backlund goes for the kill. He winds up going into the cage though so forget about that I guess. Backlund gets the atomic drop which was one of his signature moves at the time. I guess Lombardi will have to be gentle tonight.
Patterson finds some brass knuckles and they go up. Pat can’t get a shot with them and both guys go down. And then Backlund kicks Patterson in the head and the force of the kick launches Backlund backwards through the cage door and out to the floor. Patterson FREAKS in the ring after that even though he did nothing but lose cleanly. I guess that’s why he’s a heel.
Rating: B. Very solid match here with both guys beating the tar out of each other. Backlund was at this best at the end of a feud where he had to go off to beat someone and that’s what he did here. This was either their fourth or fifth match against each other and Patterson had beaten him before. This was fun stuff though and it worked very well.
Time for an assortment of Backlund defenses, most of which will be in MSG. From December 17, 1979.
WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Bobby Duncum
This is a Texas death match but I’m not sure if we’re going by what that traditionally means or if it’s just a No DQ match. In a traditional match you pin the guy and they have ten seconds to get up. Think last man standing but you have to pin to get a count started. The President of the WWF, Hisashi Shinma, holds up the title. This is where things get confusing: the WWF didn’t acknowledge the title ever leaving Backlund so the fans have no idea what is going on.
It appears that this is just a No DQ match. LONG feeling out period to start as we just wait around for something substantial to happen. Backlund gets a headlock and holds onto that for awhile. So DEADLY. This is a regular match so far as we hit the headlock one more time for fun. Backlund is put together which is really surprising considering how basic he would be known for looking like.
He CRANKS on that thing though and it looks painful if nothing else. The problem is that it’s just a headlock. Backlund goes over the top and over the rail as this picks up some much needed steam. No count outs either here. And then a sunset flip ends this. WHAT THE HECK? That’s it??? The crowd pops like crazy but I have no idea why as this was REALLY boring.
Rating: D-. As a regular match this was pretty good but as a death match this is about as close to a failure as you can get without being one. The pop of the crowd is the only reason I popped it up a bit. The big spot was a backdrop over the top rope. I have no idea why this was supposed to be a big deal but it just didn’t work at all. If it was a regular match it would have been decent but as a death match match it was horrible.
Still in New York on May 19, 1980.
WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Ken Patera
Pater is defending Intercontinental Champion and this is officially a death match, which means anything goes. Patera allows his manager, the Grand Wizard, to remove his warmup gear. Backlund is immediately sent to the floor and stomped down as Patera stands tall. The champion (only Backlund will be referred to as champion for the sake of simplicity) comes right back and sends Patera out to the floor before pounding him on the way back in. Backlund punches him in the head and chokes away with the ropes a bit.
Ken comes back with a front facelock which he transitions into a chinlock to keep control. Backlund fight up but has his shoulder sent into the post to stop the comeback dead in its tracks. Paters tries to send the shoulder in again but gets sent face first into the buckle instead. A backdrop puts Bob on the floor and the champion is in trouble. Back in and Patera drops a top rope double ax handle for two.
Off to a bearhug by Ken who is a very strong man in his own right. Backlund finally escapes with a right hand and the atomic drop to send Patera into the ropes. A jumping piledriver gets a close two count on Patera and a suplex gets the same. Backlund is whipped into the Tree of Woe (hanging upside down in the corner) where Patera chokes away. The champion is dropped throat first on the top rope for two but he comes back with a fast rollup for two.
A suplex by Patera gets a delayed one count and both guys are exhausted. Backlund avoids a charge in the corner and hooks an abdominal stretch. The hold stays on for awhile but Patera makes the rope. It doesn’t matter in this kind of a match though so Ken hip tosses Backlund up and over to the floor. Once outside Patera hits Backlund in the head with the title belt to knock the champion silly. The champion is busted open and after he gets back in, Patera pounds him right back to the floor.
Back in once again and Backlund gets in a kick to the chest to put both guys down. The champion is back up first and is all fired up. He throws Ken out to the floor and sends him into the steel barricade and then into the post. Now Patera is busted open and Backlund pounds away at the cut. The challenger comes back with a low blow to get himself a breather and now it’s Backlund in trouble. Patera goes up top but gets slammed back down to the mat. A middle rope punch by Backlund gets two but Patera sends him back to the floor.
Backlund gets hit in the face with a chair and we head back inside, only for Patera to miss a chair shot in the corner. Now Backlund gets the chair and smashes it over Ken’s head twice in a row, but THAT only gets two. Bob goes up to the top rope again and a high cross body is FINALLY enough to keep Patera down and retain the title.
Rating: A. Yeah it was just the other opponents. This was a GREAT match with two guys beating the tar out of each other for over twenty minutes. The weapons used made the No DQ rule mean something which is what the previous death match was lacking. Backlund was pushed to the limit here and when he snapped, Patera was trying to survive rather than win, which made for a good story. The match won Match of the Year in the prestigious Wrestling Observer Newsletter and it’s not hard to see why.
Post match Patera calls Backlund a cheater and gets dropkicked to the floor as a result.
Here’s a fairly well known match from MSG on October 19, 1981.
WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Greg Valentine
The Grand Wizard has yet another new client in Greg Valentine. Backlund has Arnold Skaaland with him, who has managed both Sammartino as well as the current champion. This is a regular one on one match rather than the death matches we’ve been looking at. It’s a feeling out process to start with Valentine hooking a quick armdrag for not much effect. A slam puts Backlund down again and Bob isn’t sure what to do. Backlund comes back with an armdrag and hip toss of his own to stagger Valentine and Greg wants a breather.
Greg comes back with some right hands to the ribs in the corner but it results in a standoff instead of an advantage. A quick shoulder to the ribs of Valentine staggers him a bit so they try a test of strength. Valentine fires off some shots to the ribs to take over before going to work on the champion’s knee. There’s a half crab from Valentine and Backlund is in some trouble. Backlund fights up and escapes the hold via a monkey flip but Greg gets in a shot to the back of the head to take over again.
The challenger goes back to the leg by cranking on the ankle before shifting over to the ribs via an abdominal stretch. Bob reverses into one of his own but Valentine goes back to the knee to take control once again. Valentine cranks on a leg lock before dropping some elbows on the bad leg. A spinning toe hold works on the leg even more but Bob kicks him away. They trade forearms to the face but both guys collapse down to the mat.
Backlund is up first but a slam attempt fails, giving Valentine a two count. Greg hits him in the knee again but still can’t put on the Figure Four Leg Lock. Instead Valentine kicks him to the floor before pounding away at Backlund on the ring apron. Back in again and Bob is getting fired up as the blows from Greg are having less effect each time. The champion starts hammering away on Valentine’s leg now, wrapping it up in the ropes and kicking at the inner thigh.
Bob knocks him down again but can only get two. A suplex gets the same for Valentine but Backlund comes back with one of his own for a delayed two count. A cross body gets two for the champion but Valentine chokes him down with the ring rope. Greg goes for the leg again and hooks the Figure Four but it’s not on that well. Backlund is easily able to roll into the ropes to break the hold but some damage has been done. Bob comes back with a piledriver out of nowhere and Valentine is in trouble.
Greg gets into the ropes to avoid being covered before going back to the knee. Backlund fights out of another Figure Four attempt but can’t avoid the shots to the knee in the corner. A middle rope elbow drop misses Backlund though and the champion has an opening. They trade headbutts from their knees before Backlund hooks a belly to back suplex to put both guys down again. Valentine gets back up and puts Backlund in an airplane spin during which the referee is accidentally kicked in the head by the champion. Greg is dizzy from spinning Backlund around though and Bob falls on top of him for the pin to retain the title.
Rating: B. This was another good match as Backlund is starting to find his rhythm as champion a mere four years into his title reign. The idea here of Valentine trying to get the Figure Four time after time but never being able to hook it properly was a good story throughout the match but the fact that it didn’t play into the finish hurt things a bit. The finish however is the most important part of the match for reasons yet to be explained.
Time for a little change of scenery. From Philadelphia on February 22, 1982.
WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Bob Orton Jr.
This is Orton’s return it seems. This is called the main event despite three more matches after this. Backlund outmoves him to start and trips Orton easily. Orton, a very good scientific wrestler in his own right, can’t keep up with Backlund at all and almost gets sent to the floor because he can’t even stand up when Backlund goes after him. There’s an abdominal stretch by the champ but Orton escapes.
Backlund hooks a top wristlock so Orton braces against the referee to backflip out of it. The champ trips him immediately but it was a cool visual. We get a test of strength and Backlund monkey flips him over but maintains the grip. Off to a bodyscissors as this is all Backlund so far but he’s not doing much damage. Instead he’s getting in Orton’s head which is a lot more interesting.
Backlund fakes him out on two monkey flips so Orton tries an elbow. Backlund avoids THAT and Orton is ticked off so he heads to the outside to cool off a bit. Backlund looks awesome so far. Orton tries an armdrag and is IMMEDIATELY taken into a headscissors. Backlund is so fast. I just realized they’re both named Bob so I had to go back and edit that name out. Pinfall reversal sequence results in a backslide for two for Backlund.
Orton wants a handshake and actually doesn’t sucker Backlund in. They go to the ropes and Backlund gives him a clean break but the Cowboy doesn’t, smashing Backlund with an elbow. Out to the floor and Backlund goes into the steel as Orton takes over. Backlund gets whipped over the railing and may have hurt his back. Somehow he’s not counted out so Orton stomps on him some more.
Here comes the superplex which is Orton’s finisher. Why can’t more people use basic moves like that and have them be built up as finishers? Anyway Backlund breaks that up and hits a middle rope forearm to knock Orton into the corner. Backlund hooks a suplex and pounds on Orton. Orton is in big trouble and rolls to the floor. Back inside and Backlund hits a not that great piledriver for two.
Orton comes back with a belly to back suplex and both guys are down. They slug it out from their knees and Orton gets his knee up in the corner to take Backlund down. Orton goes lucha and tries a Vader Bomb but it gets knees. Backlund knocks him to the floor which doesn’t last long as Backlund knees him in the head and dropkicks him right back to the floor. Now Orton is running which is where we get to the interesting part of Backlund which I’ll get to later. Out to the floor and Orton finds a rope from somewhere to choke Backlund with and the champ misses the count, giving Orton the win.
Rating: B. This was a very fun match as Backlund was the guy who was rather uninteresting until he was pushed to the edge when he would blow everyone away like he did here with Orton. He’s a fun guy to watch and would be even better in stuff like Texas Death Matches where his back was to the wall and he had to fight for everything he had, which he could do quite well. Fun match and by far the best of the night so far.
Back to MSG one more time on October 17, 1983.
WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Masked Superstar
Masked Superstar is Ax of Demolition so there’s a chance I’ll call him Ax from time to time. They go to the mat quickly and Backlund is more than fine with that. Backlund takes him back down again with a headlock. Superstar runs him over and tries another headlock on the mat but Bob breaks that up with ease. We hear about Eddie Gilbert being injured by Superstar, which is a show I’ve actually seen.
The champion controls with a headscissors on the mat to frustrate the big guy. Now it’s an armbar as Backlund is picking him apart with whatever body part he cares to work on at the moment. For some reason Superstar keeps trying amateur stuff on Backlund and it fails more and more each time.
Backlund runs over the bigger guy and we get a botched sequence as Superstar tries what looked like a cross body but Backlund didn’t drop at first. It looked like Superstar was trying a jumping tornado DDT but since the regular version didn’t exist yet, he fell on Backlund after spinning around a bit. Really bad looking move but it’s more on Backlund than Superstar, which is rare to see from him.
They slug it out a bit and Backlund goes right back to the arm to keep control. This time it’s a hammerlock so at least he’s mixing things up somewhat. We’re almost ten minutes into this and about six of those have been arm work. Superstar knocks him to the floor to get his first I guess you would say advantage of the match. Backlund finally gets back in and a high knee to the shoulder (supposed to be the face) gets two.
Time for a chinlock as Superstar isn’t much for offense I guess. Backlund fights out of it with punches as this becomes a slugout. Flying headbutt gets two for Superstar. Another attempt at it hits the mat though and Backlund is getting all fired up. He pounds on the arm and tries the chickenwing but Superstar makes the rope very quickly. A clothesline sets up Superstar’s neckbreaker finisher but he won’t cover. Instead he takes Backlund outside and hits the neckbreaker out there which gives him the countout win.
Rating: C. This was basically a Backlund squash for the first ten minutes and then a pretty uninteresting match for the remaining five minutes. Superstar didn’t really do anything until the end with the neckbreaker, which goes to show you how devastating any move can be if it’s sold right. Why he wouldn’t go for the cover is beyond me but whatever.
Backlund would disappear from mainstream wrestling for about for about ten years, only appearing in the indies. He would return to the WWF in late 1992 for one last run. From December 21, 1992 on Prime Time.
Bob Backlund vs. Skinner
Feeling out process to start as Gorilla starts talking about the Bushwhackers. Backlund easily counters a headlock into a drop toehold to send Skinner outside. Back in and Skinner wins a test of strength before trying a rollup, only to have Backlund reverse into one of his own for the pin.
Rating: D. This was actually kind of horrible with almost no chemistry and both guys looking on completely different pages. Skinner was nothing special around this point and had long since past his peak. To be fair this was one of Backlund’s first matches in a good while so you have to cut him some slack.
Backlund would get back into the swing of things at the Royal Rumble. I don’t usually do this but he was in this one for awhile. From the 1993 Royal Rumble.
Royal Rumble
Ric Flair is #1 and Bob Backlund, going through a career resurgence at the time, is #2. Backlund drops Flair with a shoulder and does his little dance. Flair pounds him into the corner but Bob backdrops him down. Papa Shango is #3 and is dumped out by Flair in less than thirty seconds. Backlund it sent to the apron and Flair stomps away. They chop it out until Ted DiBiase, I believe half of the tag champions here, is #4.
Heenan makes fun of Backlund as the double teaming ensues, prompting Gorilla to threaten to knock Bobby out. Backlund is beaten on even more until Brian Knobs is #5. The Nasties are good guys at this point and happen to be feuding with Money Inc. Guess who he starts swinging at. Knobs almost dumps Flair but only gets him to the apron. Things slow down for a bit until Virgil is #6. The faces team up to fight the heels as not a lot is going on at this point.
DiBiase tosses out Knobs and we’re down to four in the ring again. Here’s the pretty new Jerry Lawler at #7 in a HUGE cape. I think he’s a heel here but Flair grabs him for some chops almost immediately. Flair goes to the floor through the middle ropes so Virgil goes after Lawler. Flair gets back in and Jerry immediately goes after him. Oh never mind as Heenan is praising Lawler. He’s a heel alright.
Max Moon (presumably played by Konnan) is #8. He hits a few moves and is dumped by Lawler before anyone else shows up. Lawler’s attire is really intricate here with lots of writing on it instead of the usual two color design. I kind of like it for a change. Japanese legend Genichiro Tenryu is #9 and he starts a chop-off with Flair as you would expect them to do.
Things slow down a bit until Mr. Perfect is #9 at a full sprint. Heenan: “OH NO! OH DEAR GOD NO!!!” Perfect immediately goes after Flair so Ric goes to the top. There’s the slam off the top and the Hennig Neck Snap as Heenan is having a heart attack. We hear about the loser leaves the WWF match tomorrow on Raw between the two of them, which is a very rare match for some reason.
Skinner is #11 and he does nothing before Perfect shoves Flair out to a HUGE pop. Lawler (looking very different here for some reason that I can’t place) pounds away on Hennig as we’re back down to six people in there. That’s usually the right amount so thankfully they’ve gotten through the first third without things getting too hectic. Koko B. Ware and those big green pants of his are #12. Heenan: “Koko B. Ware could go to Wrestlemania to face Bret Hart. Gorilla: “What’s wrong with that?” Heenan: “IT SHOULD BE RIC FLAIR!!!”
Perfect dropkicks Skinner out and not a lot is going on again. Here’s Samu at #13, giving us a group of Backlund, DiBiase, Tenryu, Virgil, Perfect, DiBiase, Lawler and Ware. Lawler and Perfect keep going at it in a feud that could have been AMAZING in Memphis. Berzerker is #14 as we need to get rid of some people in there. Lawler misses a charging punch on Perfect and there he goes. With Perfect distracted, DiBiase and Ware team up (you’ll NEVER hear that again) to kick him out with an assist from Lawler. Virgil was thrown out during that melee, getting us down to just six again.
The Undertaker is #15 to a BIG pop. Gorilla calls him the odds on favorite. I’m not sure I’d go that far but whatever. Berzerker goes to the floor and beats up Backlund (not eliminated) with a chair. Taker puts Samu out and no sells a lot of Tenryu’s stuff before dumping him as well. We’ve got Backlund (mostly dead on the floor), Taker, Berzerker, DiBiase and Ware in at the moment. Terry Taylor (he still had a job at this point?) is in at #16 and he’s gone in less than thirty seconds thanks to DiBiase, as is Ware.
There’s a chokeslam to DiBiase and Taker dumps him, leaving Berzerker against Taker. In one of the biggest “oh great it’s this guy” moments ever, Giant Gonzales debuts as Taker dumps Berzerker. Gonzales, a legit 7’7 tall, stares down at Taker as Damien Demento (don’t ask) is #17. Gonzales chops Taker out for an illegal elimination. In case you’re not familiar, Gonzales is a monster who makes Great Khali look like Lou Thesz. Speaking of Khali, he was literally the same character as Gonzales in a repeat of the same exact story the Undertaker was involved in in 1992. In short, both of them sucked and were really tall.
Gonzales destroys Taker for a bit as Demento still won’t get in. IRS is #18 as the Giant is still beating up Taker. It’s IRS, Backlund and Demento at the moment with Taker out cold in the corner. Tatanka is #19 as Paul Bearer uses the Urn to revive Taker. This of course is all the fans focus on, making the match in the ring look even less interesting than it already is, which is saying a lot when you think about it. Lots of choking ensues until Jerry Sags is #20.
There is NOTHING going on here and I don’t think Typhoon at #21 is going to help things at all. Fatu is #22 and my goodness I have never heard more silence for an entrance. NOTHING is going on here and Earthquake is #23. He immediately goes after….Typhoon, his partner. They have a fat man brawl for a bit until Quake dumps him out. Carlos Colon, aged 44 and called a youngster by Monsoon is #24.
Colon dumps Demento as the eliminations are keeping the crowd on life support. Quake can’t put Backlund out as Tito Santana is #25. Fatu misses a charge at Backlund and eliminates himself. We’ve got Quake, Backlund, Santana, IRS, Tatanka, Colon and Sags in there at the moment. Rick Martel is #26 who is STILL feuding with Santana. Why did they never have a big match to blow off that feud? It went on for like four years or so.
Earthquake dumps IRS and now we get to the first interesting part of the match in WAY too long: Backlund is sent to the apron and the crowd collectively gasps until he gets back in. Gorilla actually swears at how big the reaction is. Yokozuna is #27 and it’s time to clear some space. Yoko and Tatanka chop it out and there goes the guy with red hair (figure out which is which).
Colon is out and it’s time for the fat man showdown with Quake vs. Yoko. They collide a few times and no one moves so Quake pounds him into the corner. Owen Hart is #28. Quake splashes Yoko in the corner but the second attempt misses. Yoko suplexes Quake out and that more or less seals the winner. Repo Man is #29 and is immediately dropped by Yoko. Everybody gangs up on Yoko and it doesn’t work at all.
Randy Savage is #30, giving us a final group of Savage, Yokozuna, Repo Man, Owen, Martel, Santana, Sags and Backlund. They’re not even trying to hide the winner at this point. Yoko dumps Tito as Owen dropkicks Sags out. Owen skins the cat to save himself before being dumped by Yoko and possibly injuring his knee. Repo is out and we’re down to four. Backlund actually picks up Martel to sit him on top and punches him out. The place is WAY into Backlund here, so he goes after Yoko. A pair of dropkick put Yoko against the ropes but Backlund charges into the elimination, drawing a standing ovation.
So it’s Savage vs. Yoko and the beating of the small man begins. Yoko flattens him over and over again until Savage fires off a bunch of kicks out of the corner. The fans are trying to get behind Savage and there’s a top rope ax handle. One to the back gets Yoko down to one knee. Uh…why would you want to knock a guy this big DOWN in a battle royal?
Either way he superkicks Savage to knock him down again and there’s the belly to belly. The legdrop crushes Savage but the Banzai Drop misses. In one of the STUPIDEST endings ever to the Rumble, Savage hits the elbow and COVERS, getting launched over the top rope on the kickout to send Yoko to Las Vegas for the title shot.
Rating: D. This was one of the worst Rumbles of all time. The main problem here is the period after Taker, the only guy you could actually see eliminating Yoko, was eliminated. From then until the time Backlund got close to the longevity record (which he got), there’s NOTHING. It’s a bunch of lame midcarders standing around lifting each others’ legs in the air. Why would I want to see that at all? Anyway, nothing to see here and a BAD Rumble.
Backlund’s roll would continue on Raw, March 15, 1994.
Bob Backlund vs. Papa Shango
Backlund trips him up a few times as I have to listen to the horrible Rob Bartlett on commentary. He was a comedian who was given this spot for no explained reason. Shango takes over with a test of strength but Bob grabs the arm and drives an elbow into the nose. Papa comes back with a backbreaker as Rob goes into a horrible Vince impression. Papa chokes with a boot in the corner, making Backlund look shocked that someone would cheat. We hit the chinlock for a LONG stretch as Gorilla wants to beat up Heenan and Bartlett. A slam gets two on Backlund but he grabs a small package for a surprise pin.
Rating: D. That chinlock just would not end. Shango is the kind of guy that was a nice contrast to Backlund but it didn’t work here. Interesting bit of trivia: Shango was rumored to be brought back and be revealed as the reason Backlund went nuts in 1994. Thankfully this didn’t happen and was never mentioned at all but it would have been different.
Eventually Backlund would go insane and insist on being called Mr. Bob Backlund. This new insane character would get a WWF Title shot at Survivor Series 1994 against Bret Hart. The idea is someone has to throw in the towel to end the match.
WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Bret Hart
Bret is defending and this is a submission match. This is a special kind of submission match though as both guys have seconds and you have to throw in the towel to end the match. Bret has British Bulldog and Backlund has Owen Hart. Backlund was making a comeback in his 40s and was a plucky face before going completely insane and claiming that he was still champion from when his reign ended in 1983 because his manager threw in the towel and he never gave up. Bret and Owen’s parents are in the crowd. Remember that.
Backlund charges at Bret but gets hipblocked down a few times. Bret headbutts him to the floor and elbowed upon return. Hart hits something like an elevated bulldog (think Orton’s hanging DDT) to take over on the mat. Off to a chinlock which evolves into a headlock. Gorilla talks about how Bulldog beat Bret for the IC Title in 92 to try to draw in some tension. Backlund tries to take him to the mat but Bret puts the headlock back on. Bob tries to get the chickenwing on but Bret suplexes him down.
Sharpshooter doesn’t work so Bret goes with a front facelock instead. Off to an abdominal stretch by the Hitman but Bob escapes and goes after the left arm. The chickenwing is escaped again (Backlund’s finisher is a Cross Face Chicken Wing) so Bob bends the arm around the ropes. Off to an armbar on the mat but Bret nips up. Backlund drills Bret to the floor but Hart gets the advantage out there.
Back in and Backlund puts the arm on as the fans all chant LET’S GO BRET. The armbar stays on for a good while (as in like five minutes) before Bret escapes with an atomic drop. He can’t get the Sharpshooter but he settles for the Figure Four. This hold stays on for awhile also and Bob gives up but Owen has to throw in the towel. Backlund tells Owen to throw it in but Owen won’t do it.
Backlund finally turns it over and Owen tells Bulldog to throw it in. Bret reverses it back but Backlund gets to a rope. Bret stays on the leg but can’t get the Sharpshooter. Backlund grabs a piledriver out of nowhere and momentum shifts again. Bob goes for the Chicken Wing but Bret gets to the ropes. We’re about twenty minutes into this and it feels like about half of that. The fans are WAY behind Bret here still too which is a good sign.
Back to the arm but Backlund misses a charge and goes shoulder first into the post. Bret blocks another piledriver attempt but hooks a sleeper, which is broken pretty fast because it’s not really a submission move. They hit head to head and both guys go down. For a guy who was about 45 at this point, Backlund has looked great. Now Bret piledrives Bob and hits a bulldog to take over.
The Five Moves Of Doom culminate with the Sharpshooter but Owen runs in to deck his brother and break up the hold. Now we get to the turning point of the match as Davey charges at Owen but misses and rams his own head into the steps. He’s out cold and there’s no one to throw in Bret’s towel. Owen panics and the distraction lets Backlund put on the full Chicken Wing even though Bret had his hand on the rope at the beginning of the hold and a rope break was used earlier in the match but I digress.
Backlund has the hold on in the middle of the ring as Owen begins to get concerned about Bret. He says he’s sorry and Backlund takes Bret down to the mat with the hold. Smith still hasn’t moved and Bret is trying to fight up. Bret gets to his feet but can’t get the rope as Backlund pulls him down and puts on the bodyscissors along with the hold. Owen starts crying which Vince declares the TRUE Owen.
Vince says you can lose if you say you quit, which goes against what we saw earlier with Backlund but it’s the WWF so you can’t count on continuity. We go split screen to look at Bret’s parents as Bret has been in this hold for over four minutes. Owen goes over to plead to his mom (not Stu because Stu is smarter than this) as Bret is in agony. Bret taps but that doesn’t mean anything yet. The hold has now been on for six straight minutes and the fans are still behind Bret. The maniacal look on Bob’s face is great.
Owen begs his mom for help again and opens the barricade to bring his parents to ringside. Stu still doesn’t seem to buy anything Owen is saying. Owen picks up Bret’s towel and says for Helen to throw it in but Stu says no way. Owen gets the fans to cheer for Helen to throw in the towel and after nine and a half minutes in the hold, Helen takes the towel from Stu and throws it in, giving Backlund the title and STUNNING the fans. Owen throws his arms in the air and celebrates, sprinting to the back in triumph, because it was a SWERVE.
Rating: A. This match definitely isn’t for everyone, but if you’re a fan of old school matches and psychology, you’re going to love this match. The whole thing is a massive story with the execution being done perfectly (or with excellence if you like plays on catchphrases). Bret and Backlund are both master technicians so the in ring stuff is as close to flawless as you’re going to get. The stuff with Owen is great too and the whole match is almost perfect. It runs about thirty five minutes though and if you’re not a fan of mat stuff and building to a big finish, you’re going to hate this.
One other thing: I’d like to point out that Davey Boy Smith has been out cold for almost eleven minutes now, hasn’t moved an inch, and is likely clinically dead yet hasn’t received any attention at all. Owen stepped over him about four times in the whole sequence.
The rematch, also a submission match, from Wrestlemania XI.
Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund
This is an I Quit match with Roddy Piper as guest referee. They had a previous I Quit match at Survivor Series which wound up being pretty awesome as an old school style match that ran about thirty five minutes. Thanks to Owen cheating, Backlund won the title and shocked the world, so tonight is about revenge for Hart. Piper is here for no apparent reason whatsoever.
Bret pounds away to start and sends Backlund hard into the corner. An early Sharpshooter attempt is blocked so Bret drops an elbow. Bret keeps pounding on him and Piper asks if Backlund quits way too often. Another Sharpshooter attempt doesn’t work so here’s a Figure Four by Bret instead. Backlund turns it over but Bret lets go before it goes badly for him.
Off to a leg lock by Hart as the match slows down a bit. We hear about Bret hating Japanese people which was an angle that didn’t go anywhere. Backlund grabs at Bret’s face to escape before finally just kicking Hart in the face. Bob starts going after the arm but Bret avoids the chickenwing. Instead it’s a Fujiwara Armbar and the fans are getting restless. Bob pounds on the arm even more with an armbar as Piper asks Bret if he gives up for about the dozenth time.
Bret finally fights back and hits the backbreaker and middle rope elbow. The Sharpshooter doesn’t work but Bret misses a charge into the corner, going shoulder first into the post. Bob hooks the chickenwing but Bret reverses into one of his own. Backlund yells incoherently which apparently counts as a submission, giving Bret the win.
Rating: D+. I love the original version of this but the rematch didn’t work at all. For one thing, a match about making someone quit with guys of this caliber should probably be longer than ten minutes. On top of that, it was really dull stuff. This didn’t work at all and even Bret has said it’s one of his least favorite matches ever.
After retiring and actually running for Congress, Backlund would be referenced over and over again in Kevin Nash’s Paparazzi Championship Series in TNA, which is still one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. I have no idea what it was supposed to do or mean but it cracked me up. Anyway, Backlund actually appeared and wrestled some matches, including this one at Slammiversary 2007.
Bob Backlund vs. Alex Shelley
Backlund is one of those cases where I have no idea what they were thinking when they brought him in. We hear the stories of Backlund not signing autographs unless you can recite all of the presidents in order. Backlund takes him down with ease and the fans are mostly on Shelley’s side. They slug it out a bit and Backlund takes him into a short armed scissors. Backlund uses the British Bulldog/Shawn Michaels counter (which should be called the Backlund counter but whatever).
Backlund hits a gorgeous butterfly suplex and then an atomic drop which used to be Backlund’s finisher. Sabin runs in to trip him up but gets crotched on the top. Shelley gets dropped into Sabin’s balls and a bridging O’Connor Roll beats Shelley clean. Yes, Bob Backlund just destroyed the Motor City Machineguns by himself in less than four minutes.
Rating: C-. The match was fine but this is a great example of “what were they thinking”. I mean don’t get me wrong, Backlund is a legend, but this is the year 2007. Who are they really appealing to with him? This one isn’t about me being mad about him being there, but more of genuine confusion. I don’t get this one at all.
And one more from Victory Road 2007.
Motor City Machine Guns vs. Jerry Lynn/Bob Backlund
The Guns have Nash with them. This is another of those bizarre angles that only happens in a company like TNA. For a 57 year old guy, Backlund is in great shape. Apparently Backlund was a problem for TNA as he disappeared from his hotel on the morning of the PPV. The reason: he walked the five miles from the hotel to the Impact Zone and left earlier than everyone else.
He’s an odd one, but if I can look like that at his age I’ll be happy. It’s weird seeing Sabin just getting out wrestled by Backlund. Both guys tag and we get dueling geriatric/LET’S GO JERRY chants. Shelley does all these flips and twists and Lynn just stands there and watches him until he stops so he can throw a hold on him. That was hilarious. I love when people do that.
One of my favorite moments ever was just after Joe debuted he was fighting Puma and Puma went up top for this big flip and Joe just took a step to the side and let him crash. Why over complicate things? This has been more or less ALL old guys so far. Shelley spits water in his face to take over. West declares that you can’t prance. Good to know.
Heat grabbing 101 (missed tag) allows more beatings on Lynn. Backlund storms the ring and just beats the tar out of everyone in sight. And then Nash comes in to kick Backlund in the head to set up the AS/CS Rush for the pin on Jerry. Now remember boys and girls, as good as they are, they’re not allowed to win the tag titles.
Rating: C-. Entertaining, but again I ask, so what? This put the focus on Nash more than anything else. I just do not get the point in doing this ending other than to protect the old guys and let the new guys say they won. It’s either really basic or really stupid and I’m leaning towards the second given the track record here.
Bob Backlund is one of the most interesting wrestlers in history. The guy could get on a mat with anyone but he’s also borderline insane. The problem was he didn’t have the right kind of charisma to work in the new generation, but he was perfect for the transitional period between Sammartino and Hogan. His Mr. Backlund period was a completely different side to him and while winning the title was too far, he would have been great as an Intercontinental Champion around that time. He’s very entertaining though and as skilled on the mat as almost anyone you’ll ever find.
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Wrestler of the Day – July 29: Kazarian
Today is one half of the best tag teams in the Biz-A-Ness: Kazarian.
Kazarian got his start in 1998 on the California independent circuit, but we’ll pick things up on March 17, 2001 on WWF Metal, a late night syndicated show.
Frankie Kazarian/Keiji Sakoda vs. Kaientai
Funaki and Kaz get things going with the jobber nailing a springboard back elbow to the jaw. The announcers try to get the fans to call their local media and ask for more on the XFL because the thing is already in major trouble. Sakoda comes in and runs Funaki over but walks into a shot to the face from Taka. Kaientai takes over with a camel clutch from Funaki to set up a low dropkick to the face from Michinoku. Sakoda comes back with a clothesline to Funaki and makes the tag to Kazarian as everything breaks down. Funaki sends Sakoda to the floor and a Michinoku Driver gets a fast pin on Kazarian.
Kaz would head to the WWA promotion and open the Retribution PPV.
Kazarian vs. Shark Boy
TNA is around at this point but it’s still in its very early days, so there’s a chance these guys have both been there. It’s a smart move to have guys like these open the show as they should be able to fire up the crowd. Kaz looks almost identical to how he does ten years later, just with longer hair here. The lighting has a blue tint to it here and it sounds like the audio is coming through like normal commentaries do instead of through the arena speakers.
Disco gets the comedy going fast by suggesting that Shark Boy was conceived on the set of Jaws and may be the son of Richard Dreyfuss. Kaz is the heel here and gets caught by an early hiptoss and some chops in the corner. Sharky sends him to the floor and gets caught by a plancha. Kaz is pulled back in but sends Shark Boy into the middle buckle to take over. An atomic drop puts Kaz down and Sharky bites him on the trunks for good measure. The referee gets one too and the fans are way into Shark Boy.
Kaz comes back with a quick leg lariat to take over before getting two off a snap belly to belly suplex. We hit a quick chinlock but Sharky fights up, only to be backdropped out to the floor. Back in and a leg sweep takes Shark Boy down for two but Kaz misses a guillotine legdrop to give us a breather. Shark Boy comes back with right hands and a one knee Codebreaker for two.
Kaz has his head pounded in the corner and there’s a bite by Sharky for good measure. A top rope rana brings Kaz down for two but a SWEET bicycle kick takes Shark Boy down again. Kaz, still “The Future” at this point, hits Back to the Future (a bridging electric chair drop) for two, only to have Shark Boy take him to the corner for the Dead Sea Drop (dragon sleeper flipped over into a Stunner, more commonly known as Diamond Dust) and the pin.
Rating: C. This was fine and the perfect kind of match to open a show like this. You take two fast paced guys and let them go out there for six minutes of high spots. It’s nothing great but it didn’t need to be. These are two young guys getting a shot and they did a good enough job with it so it’s a good start here.
It’s off to TNA now with Kaz appearing on Weekly PPV #47 on June 4, 2003. I believe this is his TNA debut.
CM Punk/Frankie Kazarian/Matt Stryker vs. Damian Dothart/Johnny Swinger/Kid Romeo
No not that Striker. Stryker and Romeo get things going with Romeo grabbing an early headlock. Kazarian comes in and gets taken down by a slam for two as the heels (Romeo’s team) triple team for a bit. Swinger comes in legally and gets dropkicked and armdragged before it’s off to Punk. It’s armdrags a go-go until it’s Dothart in to trade headlock takeovers.
Off to Swinger vs. Stryker and more heel cheating gives the bad guys the advantage. Romeo chops on Matt in the corner but has a monkey flip countered into a kind of belly to belly suplex. Dothart grabs a northern lights suplex for two and it’s back to Swinger. He slams Matt down but takes too long walking around, allowing for the hot tag to Kaz. A double clothesline drops Swinger and Dothart as everything breaks down.
Kaz hits a huge dive to take out Swinger on the floor, only to have Damian thrown onto both of them. Punk dives on all three, Romeo dives onto all four, and Stryker adds an Asai moonsault to take everyone down. Back in and Swinger hits a jawbreaker on Matt, only to get caught in a Gory Bomb from Punk. Romeo hits something like White Noise on Punk but gets caught by a DDT from Matt. Kaz comes back in and hits a spinning downward spiral on Dothart for the pin.
Rating: C+. It’s your standard X-Division flying match with everyone going everywhere near the end. That’s a solid idea as it opened the show and got the fans fired up for the rest of the card. It wasn’t the best match in the world but it was entertaining, and that’s all this match needed to be.
Kaz would win the X-Division Title and defend it on Weekly PPV #97 on June 9, 2004.
X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Frankie Kazarian
From June 9, 2004 with Kaz defending. This is one of the first matches in the six sided ring which debuted six days earlier on the first episode of a show called Impact. It’s strange to see Kaz in Antonio Banderas form nowadays. Feeling out process to start with AJ taking the champion down into a front facelock. Kaz counters into an armbar as the fans tell him that he still sucks. An armdrag gets AJ free and they stare each other down again. Styles grabs the arm for a wristlock but Kaz gets in a shot to the jaw to escape.
Another armdrag sends Kaz out to the floor but he comes back with a wristlock of his own. AJ starts firing off some kicks to the thigh before peppering Kaz with forearms. Kaz sends him into the ropes but AJ drops down to set up the dropkick but the champion wisely heads outside. Back in and Kaz has to escape a Styles Clash attempt so now AJ hits the dropkick and a knee drop for two. Kaz gets sent out to the floor again and the frustration sets in for the champion.
Things start to pick up with AJ throwing Kaz back inside but getting caught by a slingshot DDT onto the apron. Back inside and Kaz suplexes Styles down and pounds away with right hands to the head. AJ tries a sunset flip but Kaz rolls through into a nice spinning neckbreaker for two. An ax handle to the back has AJ in trouble but he comes back with a running forearm in the corner but only hits turnbuckle on the second attempt. Kaz scores with a slingshot dropkick in the corner to knock the wind out of AJ after the miss knocked the senses out of him.
We hit a chinlock for a bit before going outside again with AJ being sent ribs first into the apron. Back in and Kaz snaps AJ’s throat over the top rope but misses his slingshot splash. This has been very good back and forth stuff so far which doesn’t leave me much to talk about. Both guys go to the corner and AJ superplexes Kaz down to the floor for a sick sounding thud.
Both guys are slow to get up and back inside but it’s Styles getting all fired up for forearms to the head. Kaz loads up a spinning downward spiral but AJ spins out and nails him with the Pele. The Styles Clash is countered with a kick to the head into a rollup for two and a kind of jumping superkick gets a very close two. Kaz puts him on the top rope but has to escape a middle rope Styles Clash. Instead it’s Kaz with the downward spiral (his finisher) for another near fall.
Kaz loads up a Clash (popular idea against AJ) but AJ gets free and takes the champion down with a discus lariat. Styles goes up again but another jumping superkick puts him down. AJ shoves him down and TOTALLY misses the Spiral Tap but covers anyway. Since there was literally no contact Kaz kicks out at two but the referee counts the pin anyway. The announcers are as confused as I was but we have a new champion.
Rating: B+. This was REALLY good stuff until the ending screwed things up. I mean there were literally nine inches of mat between AJ and Kaz on that Spiral Tap attempt but the pin counted anyway. Still though, I can easily accept nineteen minutes of awesome in exchange for thirty seconds of horrible.
Kaz would get on regular pay per view around this time, including a match on the third TNA regular pay per view, Against All Odds 2005.
Kazarian/Michael Shane vs. BG James/Jeff Hammond
Yeah, the old racer is wrestling here. He’d be about 49 or 50 here. BG makes some bad racing jokes before the match. Wait…according to what I can find, Hammond is a CREW CHIEF. He isn’t even a driver! Anyway, BG and Shane start us off. No wait Hammond wants to fight. Hammond grabs a wristlock and thankfully tags off to a wrestler. The non-X Division guys work over Shane and BG does most of the work.
BG takes Shane down and drops a knee on him for two. Kaz knocks him to the floor and hits a huge dive to take over. He hits a slingshot dropkick in the corner ala Hardy and Shazarian double teams BG. Neckbreaker gets two. Hammond comes in and can’t do anything BECAUSE HE ISN’T A WRESTLER. BG is knocked to the floor and Shane superkicks Kaz by mistake. Hammond drops an elbow for the pin. Screw this.
Rating: F. The match sucked, the guy isn’t even a driver, but his name is on TV so five people might know who he is. Twelve days later Kaz left TNA and signed a developmental deal with WWE. GEE, I WONDER WHY HE WOULD WANT TO DO THAT??? When the best thing you can say about a match is that it was short, that’s a bad sign.
Kaz would sign with the WWE around this time as centerpiece of the Cruiserweight division. Here’s one of his matches, from Velocity in August of 2005.
Frankie Kazarian vs. Paul London
They trade wristlocks to start and we actually hear about them meeting in the ECWA Super 8 tournament, a very prestigious indy wrestling tournament. London hits a Mushroom Stomp (double stomp) but charges into a belly to belly suplex into the corner. Back up and Paul gets two off an electric chair suplex, followed by a dropsault for the same. London nails a spinwheel kick and a wheelbarrow faceplant for an even closer two. He loads up another electric chair but Kaz falls forward into a rollup for the pin.
Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as Kaz never went anywhere in WWE due to them making up the idea of revamping the Cruiserweight division. London was fine in a spot like this, but there was no future for these guys when the division almost only existed on a show like Velocity. Kaz was fine but didn’t have a platform to do anything on here.
Kaz would come back to TNA where he belonged, including this match at Genesis 2006.
Kazarian/Maverick Matt/Johnny Devine vs. Voodoo Kin Mafia
The three guys that would become Serotonin are in their new look now but have only been talking about their redeemer who would later be revealed as Raven. The Mafia is now at WAR with WWE. Tenay flat out says they’re going after Vince and it would only get worse. The fans chant that DX sucks. Anyway, Roadie, the guy only famous for being in DX, starts off with Matt.
BG (Road Dogg) gets taken into the corner and the heels alternate on him to take over. They tease the white shirt wearing Kip to allow more triple teaming. They’re flying through this match so it’s not going to last long. BG gets in a shot and hot tags Kip. Kip cleans house and uses a Pedigree as Tenay talks about the War. Devine jumps off the top but gets caught in the cobra clutch slam for the pin.
Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but anything that furthers this idiotic angel isn’t a good thing. As I said in the Turning Point review, I have no idea what they thought they were proving with this thing, but it would result in them “invading” a house show which they claimed was the same thing as DX invading WCW in 1998.
Serotonin didn’t do anything and Kaz eventually rebelled, setting up this match at Hard Justice 2007.
Kaz vs. Raven
Raven had some freak show team around this time and Kaz rebelled. This is the revenge match. Raven offers Kaz a chance to return to the team but Kaz pops him. They head to the floor quickly and Seretonin (the team) gets involved but screws up, giving Kaz control early on. Raven hits the Russian legsweep into the rail spot that he often does. In the ring, Raven busts out a victory roll of all things for two.
A Million Dollar Kneelift puts Kaz on the floor. Raven beats on Kaz but Kaz fires back with punches. I don’t know what it is but I can’t get into this show at all. I think a lot of it is the lack of storylines and context for these matches and angles, but I don’t think they’re going to be interesting no matter what you do with them. Kaz takes out the other Seretonin guys but Raven cracks him with a kendo stick to the head. Kaz escapes a DDT, hits a one footed dropkick….and gets the pin. At least it’s over.
Rating: D. Just a messy brawl that wasn’t anything to see. There were some cool spots, but Raven was just annoying Kaz here more than being a threat. This was another of those feuds that I have zero interest in but have to sit through for the purposes of writing this. That being said I wasn’t interested in this feud four years ago either.
Kaz would get a push around this time, including this ladder match at Genesis 2007.
Christian vs. Kaz
Winner gets a shot at the champion at some point in the future. Remember that it’s a ladder match. Kaz hammers away with some kicks and there’s the first ladder. Christian picks it up so Kaz hits a spinning dive over the top onto said ladder which hurts him more than the Canadian. Christian is bleeding right around the eye. Here’s ladder junior and it’s bridged between the ring and the barricade.
Kaz gets laid out on it and Christian goes up top. He drops a frog splash on Kaz, but the ladder is all like IS THAT ALL YOU GOT? THAT AIN’T GONNA BREAK ME BOY! That eye of Christian looks bad. Kaz moves out of the way and spins Christian into the ladder in the corner. He sandwiches Christian behind a ladder in the corner but on a charge Christian PELTS the ladder at Kaz, sending him down. The crowd is already way into this.
Christian does a few more painful things to Kaz but his attempt at the contract doesn’t work. Kaz gets in a nice looking shot as he swings the ladder like a bat. They both go up ladders and Christian manages to hit a reverse DDT off the top. Kaz gets up again and puts Christian on the ladder with a backdrop and then the spinning legdrop that he uses. The fans think it’s awesome and I can’t really disagree.
Kaz suplexes the ladder onto Christian and then goes up for the scary spot of the matc. He climbs to the very top of the ladder and drops a leg on Christian onto the ladder, but the middle part moves so Kaz’s leg hits the ladder square on. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Christian goes up so Kaz hits a springboard dropkick into the ladder which knocks the ladder into the ropes, knocking the cameraman off the apron.
AJ and Tomko come out but Christian calls them off. Both guys go up the ladder but it topples over. Christian goes flying down to the floor where he lands on the tag champions. The look on his face is great as it says “I just want to go home and have a grilled cheese.” Kaz was able to get his foot onto the rope to stop the fall and shove himself back up. He pulls down the contract to win it.
Rating: A-. Now THIS was fun. This is the third time tonight that the X-Division guys have been allowed to go out there and have fun and it’s the third very good match they’ve had. What else can you ask for other than that? Great match here with both guys beating each other up and taking some HARD shots.
Kaz and Eric Young would team up, setting up this stupid match at Lockdown 2008.
Rock N Rave Infection vs. MCMG vs. Eric Young/Kaz vs. LAX vs. Scott Steiner/Petey Williams vs. Black Reign/Rellik
This is Cuffed in the Cage: all 12 in the match at once and it’s elimination by being cuffed to a rope, last man standing gets his team a shot at the tag titles at a future date. Reign and Rellik (Killer backwards. Clever huh?) beat up Eric backstage before they can come out. The entrances take a few hours or so. Oh and Black Reign (Goldust but a cheap knockoff that no one bought) and Killer are supposed to be monsters. This is idiotic.
How in the WORLD have the Guns not been tag champions yet? There are two sets of tag titles in TNA (don’t even get me started on how freaking stupid that is) and they can’t get one of them. That’s just stupid. Oh LAX already have a title shot, so they’re getting a chance to get a second one here, because it would make NO SENSE to take two people out of here to, oh I don’t know, unclutter the match thing a tiny bit???
This was back when Petey was Maple Leaf Muscle, as in a tiny version of Steiner. Is this supposed to be Mexico or something? Steiner just beats the tar out of everyone until LAX takes him down. About four people get him cuffed to eliminate him. What would be smart here? Perhaps having him leave? Nope, that would make too much sense, so he just stays in the cage cuffed to the cage. Someone was actually paid to think of this. That’s just sad.
Young comes down and gets scared by the monsters. You can’t tell a thing that’s going on because THERE ARE ELEVEN PEOPLE IN THERE AT ONCE. Sabin and Shelley get cuffed at the same time. Petey is put out and I just couldn’t care less. The problem here is that you get some decent stuff and spots but there are just so many people in there and the camera jumps around so much that you can’t see anything at all. LAX are both out.
Kaz is out as we have Killer and Rock N Rave and Black Reign left. The fans already get the idea as they chant Super Eric. The idea is this: Eric Young puts on a shirt, a mask and a cape and all of a sudden he’s not scared anymore and is an awesome fighter. This is making me lose intelligence very rapidly. He does a HUGE dive off the top of the cage to put four guys down. Ok that was pretty cool looking. Hoyt (Vance Archer) is put out.
The other problem becomes that no one can move anywhere as there are people on so many parts of the cage. Oh Jimmy Rave is out too. Young gets the two monsters to win the stupid thing. To further drain my intelligence, here’s how this played out. Eric and Kaz won the tag titles (why they’re not being defended here and why the X Title isn’t being defended here is beyond me.
Tomko and AJ FREAKING STYLES were the tag champions, yet they’re not on the PPV. Upon further review they’re in the Lethal Lockdown match so that makes it a bit better) at the next Impact but because Super Eric wasn’t the guy Kaz entered the match with they didn’t get the titles.
Instead they were held up and a whole PPV, Sacrifice, was dedicated to getting new champions with LAX and 3D fighting in the finals of the Deuces Wild tag tournament where you had random partners fighting established teams but the random partners WON NO MATCHES. THIS WAS PRAISED by TNA fans. They thought this was a good idea.
Rating: F-. This was just so freaking stupid that I can’t believe it exists. Seriously, TWELVE PEOPLE in the cage at once and you handcuff them to eliminate them. I wanted wrestling, not some screwed up sex fantasy that even Vince McMahon would say slow down when offered. Seriously, screw Dave Meltzer. He said that Edge vs. HHH vs. Kozlov was worse than this? Dave is a brilliant guy, but his anti-WWE bias gets out of hands at times.
Kaz was hot enough at this point that he would be in a cage match at Sacrifice 2008 to get a World Title shot later in the night.
Curry Man vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Consequences Creed vs. Shark Boy vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Kaz vs. Alex Shelley vs. Chris Sabin vs. Johnny Devine vs. Jay Lethal
Sure we can put TEN PEOPLE in a cage and expect it to be coherent in any way, shape or form. TNA: redefining overdoing it every night. Winner gets an X-Division Title shot at some point in the future against I think Petey Williams. Shark Boy is Stone Cold here and it’s just so stupid. Cornette comes out and says the winner gets to be in the main event in Angle’s place. For the record, the total time of the entrances and Cornette’s announcement and lowering the ceiling on the Dome: 7:31. Longest match so far tonight: 8:45.
Everyone but Rave and Curry Man (Christopher Daniels as an Indian/Japanese curry company mascot) go onto the cage walls and try to escape. The six sided ring is bigger so there’s some extra room but since everyone is on the walls it’s hard to call anything. The Guns take over with speed and Creed makes a run for the top. Kaz, ever the scholar, uses Creed’s arms as a slingshot to drop a leg on someone instead of pulling him down. Creed, also the lunkhead, drops down to beat up Kaz.
Another problem is that everyone is wearing black tights except for the people that aren’t so you can barely tell most of them apart. They mess up the Tower of Doom pretty badly and Dutt escapes the Spice Rack to Dutt. You can’t really call anything but spots here and it’s really annoying because of that. Creed hits a DDT on Rave. Shelley takes a Chummer (Stunner) from Shark Boy.
Sabin and Shark Boy mess something up badly but Kaz takes him out with a spinning downward spiral. Dutt has been chilling on the roof for awhile so Curry Man takes him down. Rave takes a Spice Rack off the top rope. There’s nothing else to report here other than these random spots. They’re flashy looking and cool but there’s no coherence or flow to it at all.
Curry shoves Kaz off the top rope and goes up, only to have Kaz come stop him. Rave pulls him off the top with a Codebreaker and Devine hits a Devine Intervention (double underhook piledriver) to Creed. Shouldn’t the afro shield him from that? Rave goes up and Kaz pulls him off. It’s certainly good that 8 people were in the middle of the ring and no one was going after Kaz who escapes to advance to the title match later.
Rating: B-. Yeah it’s fun but there’s no way you can tell what’s going on for the most part here. This needed to be about 5 guys at most and they could have gotten something going. It’s a nice change to the cage match formula so of course TNA never used it as anything resembling that since they’re not incredibly intelligent at times. This was fun but it really needed to be tweeked.
And the title match from the same show.
TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Kaz vs. Scott Steiner
Frank Trigg is on commentary because wrestling companies think we watch wrestling to see MMA. Joe gets a big tribal dance thing. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Kaz grabs a rollup on Steiner 10 seconds in and a second one 20 seconds in. Joe is like screw this and runs them both over, unleashing some kicks. He cleans house and puts a half Liontamer on Kaz.
Steiner runs over for the save and is immediately put in a Fujiwara armbar. Now Kaz is in a Texas Cloverleaf. See, this is what I like Joe doing: throwing on random holds because that’s what he’s supposed to be good at. A clothesline puts Steiner on the floor and he hits his face on the apron. Kaz tries that spinning springboard legdrop but Joe moves. Trigg is actually offering ideas and strategy, suggesting that Steiner and Kaz should join up and double team Joe to take him out. I have no problem with someone that wants to be there and is trying. Trigg is doing both.
Steiner sends Joe into the railing outside and it’s Kaz vs. Steiner with the roided one in control. Scott hits a Samoan Drop off the middle rope for two on Kaz. Is that gimmick infringement? Joe is beating him like he stole something so maybe it was. Steiner busts out the suplexes and puts Joe in the Recliner. He does what no one could do in 2000 and stands up, letting Kaz hit a dropkick in the form of a Doomsday Device to put Steiner down for a full 5 seconds.
Steiner charges into the release Rock Bottom in the corner from Joe. Joe tries a suicide dive but jumps into a pipe Steiner is holding. It looked like the shoulder took most of it. Back in a slingshot DDT gets two for Kaz. Petey gets involved and crotches Kaz and a Frankensteiner gets two as Joe makes a very last second save. Why is it that a single shot to the leg can cause a guy to go flying off a cover?
Joe goes insane and is holding his shoulder. It would be good selling if it was the same shoulder that the pipe hit but left and right might be a bit too complex for Joe. A superkick puts Kaz down but he gets up in time to kick Joe onto the apron. Kaz tries something off the top on Steiner but it looks like a bad DDT. Steiner gets a cover out of it if that gives you any idea. With Steiner still on top Joe grabs the MuscleBuster and retains.
Rating: C+. Not bad here and they had a decent match. Steiner vs. Joe would have been bad so adding in the high flying of Kaz was a nice touch. It’s not a great match or anything but it was fine for Joe’s first major title defense. The pipe never went anywhere but it wasn’t supposed to I don’t think. Not great but not bad here so just over in the middle sounds good.
Kaz missed a good while due to an injury and return as the masked Suicide character. This set up a match at Sacrifice 2009 against Daniels, who had been accused of being the character.
X-Division Title: Christopher Daniels vs. Suicide
Suicide is defending. Christopher is just called Daniels here but screw that. Suicide pops up behind Daniels after the lights come back up. Feeling out process to start as West compares this to Area 51, Lee Harvey Oswald and if man walked on the moon. West starts talking about Curry Man, another guy that Daniels portrayed. The fans chant suicide. Yeah that’s not weird at all. The main thing going on so far is West rambling about his conspiracy theories.
Daniels gets a rather weak crossface chickenwing on the mat for a few seconds. Enziguri completely misses but it’s sold anyway. Release Rock Bottom sets up the Best Moonsault Ever which is avoided. They can’t get a tombstone reversal sequence as this hasn’t been much from a quality standpoint. West keeps going with his theories and they get more and more annoying each time.
They go to the ramp a bit and Suicide counters into one of those fireman’s carries into a front flip but hurts some part of his leg or foot on. Daniels gets a nice slingshot move into a rollup for two. Sabin of all people comes out to distract the referee so Shelley can sneak in to hit a Codebreaker to give Daniels the pin.
Rating: D+. Not much here. It was decent enough but it just never got out of the blocks. I have never been a fan of Daniels as his matches just come off as boring beyond belief to me. This was no exception as it just kept on going until the Guns came out to set up the finish. Can someone please explain the appeal of this guy to me?
Daniels grabs the mic and says he didn’t have anything to do with the Guns being there so Daniels wants five more minutes and I guess Suicide is still champion here. Ok so the match is going to continue. By the way, this isn’t overbooking as it fits in with the whole Daniels/Suicide conspiracy angle they’re using here. Suicide takes over for awhile here which is a change of pace from the previous match. Or earlier in the match or whatever the right term is.
Koji Clutch goes on Suicide as Daniels gets the advantage but ropes are of course grabbed since the draw is more or less a given at this point. In something you’ll hardly ever see in this arena, the fans chant boring. We get the clock as we have less than a minute. Don’t let Samoa Joe see it! Standing BME is blocked as Suicide gets two off the counter. Codebreaker gets two at the bell.
Rating: C. That’s for the extra five minutes which was much better than the first twelve but not by much. Suicide is a guy I could get into more than Daniels and this is a great example of that. Not a great match at all but for a shorter thing like this it worked fine I guess. Still not wanting to see any more of Daniels though.
More Suicide, this time at Bound For Glory 2009.
X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. Amazing Red vs. Suicide vs. Daniels vs. Homicide
This is Ultimate X and the Guns got in by winning a tag match earlier. Suicide is played by Kaz here. Dinero was supposed to be in this too but had a legit family emergency. Red has Don West with him. This is Red’s first Ultimate X match. That’s rather surprising. And there’s a rather scary close up of Homicide. Red and Suicide (how did he and Homicide never team together?) go to the floor as the spots begin.
Daniels stops a huge dive by Red to kill the crowd. Daniels has won four straight of these matches apparently. Red hits a SWEET Rana off the top to Daniels to the floor, taking out about 3 other people. The Guns take over with some of their awesome team stuff. No real attempts at going for the belt until Homicide heads up there. Suicide trumps Homicide though and everyone crashes.
This turns into the Guns vs. everyone else as Daniels takes a missile dropkick Doomsday Device. Everything goes insane again and you can’t really follow much of anything. Homicide, a heel here, goes up but Daniels stops him. Daniels and Sabin play a little chicken but both crash as well. SICK tornado DDT by Sabin. Red gets a leaping Downward Spiral to take out Daniels as this has been rather fun.
There’s the required Tower of Doom spot that never gets old with the big move being Suicide hitting a moonsault on Daniels. To give you an idea, Suicide was on the top rope. Red got behind him for a German. Red was powerbombed off by Sabin. Red suplexed Suicide off and Suicide flipped into a moonsault press onto Daniels. Ok so onto is a stretch but you get the concept.
The crowd isn’t really feeling this outside of big spots, which isn’t great but it’s also not horrible. They know their chants though I suppose. Best Moonsault Ever to Sabin. Daniels, Suicide and Red go up to the top of the structure, as in 7 feet about the X, getting a please don’t die chant. They’re above the height of being on top of the Cell. Daniels almost falls as this is terrifying.
Daniels thankfully drops down as does Suicide. Red is laying on top as the Guns go for the traditional way. Suicide and Daniels go down and Daniels lands on his head. Tazz half kayfabe shouts CHECK HIM, and I couldn’t agree more. Red drops down and gets the belt. I’m legit worried about Daniels after that fall. Don West comes out to celebrate.
Rating: B. I was trying to figure out if it should be minus or plus but this is fine. I’ve never been wild on having big gimmick matches like this to open the show. I get having an X match here but not the big gimmick matches like these. Save these for the middle of the card where the crowd needs a boost. Still though this was solid and the spots were great. Daniels’ fall was scary, though he would be ok. Fun match here and it did its job perfectly.
Kazarian would return and take part in another #1 contenders match at Destination X 2010.
Kazarian vs. Brian Kendrick vs. Amazing Red vs. Christopher Daniels
Winner is #1 contender to the X Division Title. Oh and it’s a ladder match. This was when Daniels had some weird thing on where it wrapped around his neck and then down to his arms. It just looked weird. Make your own Antonio Banderas jokes. We get going and Kendrick hits the floor. Smart. Red launches himself of the ropes to hit everyone not named Kendrick.
There’s your first ladder. Everyone goes for the contract in a row but no one gets it. I love that STO Daniels does. Taz knowing the real name of it might be the only thing of worth from him. The ladder has an ad for TNAwrestling.com. There’s something amusing about that. TNA gets the idea here at least: have a spot fest.
That’s what a match like this is supposed to be and that’s what they’re giving us. Red hits a SWEET hurricanrana to the floor. In a spot that I thought was stupid Kazarian has Red in position for the Flux Capactior on the ladder. The setup is like a Rock Bottom. His left arm is free. WHY DIDN’T HE GRAB THE PAPER??? He makes up for it a bit with a slingshot Fameasser to a ladder on Daniels. Nice.
Kendrick gets his fingers slammed in a ladder. FREAKING OW! Daniels and Kaz are the only ones left in there. And there’s Kendrick so never mind. Crowd is totally behind Kendrick here in case you’re wondering. That five clap sequence the audience does needs to freaking die. It truly does.
In a nice spot, Red goes for a springboard something but jumps into a Diamond Cutter from Kazarian. I like it. Ladder number two is in and Red and Daniels have a race. Kazarian does the Shelton Spider-Man spot to get onto the ladders and knocks Daniels off to win the thing.
Rating: B+. It was a spot fest and that’s all it had to be. This was a great way to open the show and the match was solid as it could be. Even in a TNA crowd you have to get them fired up and what better way than this? Kaz will win the title soon and after this he deserves it. Fun match and a great opener.
Here’s a title shot, from Genesis 2011.
X-Division Title: Kazarian vs. Jay Lethal
Hey look the X Title is opening the show again! It’s new! It’s exciting! It’s exactly what was expected! They start before the bell rings and Lethal hits a rana and rams in right hands. To be fair a fast paced match is a good way to get a crowd going so I can’t make too much fun of it. Lethal gets a dive to the floor and hits a moonsault to the floor to continue establishing his dominance.
Kaz takes over again and we chop it out. Things speed up somewhat with Lethal taking over after a series of counters. I’m surprised Kaz is moving this fast as he hasn’t done that much recently. Kaz takes over again as this has been very back and forth. It’s the first internet broadcast for TNA also. Lethal gets the handspring elbow to put both guys down.
This is personal of course. Has there ever been a professional fight in professional wrestling? In a very cool spot Lethal was on the apron and Kaz pulled him in using the ropes but moved over in a split second to catch Lethal in a cutter. Flux Capacitor is blocked into a sunset bomb by Lethal for two. Good stuff so far. Apparently Kaz is in trouble if he doesn’t get the title here.
Reverse tombstone is blocked as Kaz rolls through. Kaz gets a slingshot DDT for a close two. He slaps Lethal to fire him up so Jay rifles off chops to the chest. Where else would they go I guess. Lethal sets for the top rope elbow but gets caught by a running enziguri. When did that become the most popular move in the world as everyone seems to use it anymore. Kaz can’t get the reverse tombstone off the top but gets it a few seconds later in the ring for the pin and his fourth X Title.
Rating: B-. Pretty decent match here but this wasn’t much of a surprise at all. I really hope they don’t go with the Immortal domination tonight though. This was a fun match and definitely got the crowd into it. I have a bad feeling though that this will be the high point of the card which certainly isn’t a good thing. Still though, at least we got a good match out of the opener.
Daniels and Kazarian would join forces to make AJ Styles’ life miserable. Here’s a match from the feud at Against All Odds 2012.
AJ Styles vs. Kazarian
Kaz is in a shirt which he tries to remove but Daniels says no. AJ controls with a headlock and rips the shirt off himself. They fight over the arm as the fans are all over Daniels. Kaz gets sent to the floor and AJ is in control. Backbreaker puts Kaz down as Styles is working on the back. A flying forearm puts Kaz on the floor for a minute but AJ gets it back inside to avoid Daniels.
A bridging Indian Deathlock with a facelock cranks on Kaz’s back even more. Kaz comes back and slams AJ down so that the spinning springboard legdrop (Wave of the Future maybe?) can get two. Spinwheel kick gets two. Now Kaz works on AJ’s back with a hard whip in and a jumping Russian Legsweep for two. Leg lariat gets the same. Kazarian hooks a double chicken wing on the mat but AJ fights up to his feet.
They slug it out and AJ takes over with a pair of clotheslines and an enziguri. Styles sets for an atomic drop but slams Kaz face first instead, getting two. Styles Clash and Fade to Black are both countered and Kaz hits a dropkick to regain control. AJ grabs a jawbreaker but can’t hit the Clash. Kaz kicks him to the apron and hits a slingshot DDT onto said apron as we hit the floor. Slingshot cutter gets two back in. This is getting good.
AJ is sat up on the top and Kaz hits a running superkick to almost send him to the floor. Kaz goes up for the Flux Capacitor (C4) but AJ knocks him down with a headbutt. Moonsault into the reverse DDT gets a very close two. AJ tries a suplex into a neckbreaker but Kaz reverses into a hard Downward Spiral to put everyone down. They go into a pinfall reversal sequence which gets two for both guys and ends with a Pele to put Kaz down. AJ is sent to the apron and loads up a springboard forearm but instead hits a gorgeous Asai Moonsault to take out Daniels. He tries to springboard at Kaz but jumps into Fade To Black for the pin at 18:37.
Rating: B. Can’t argue with this one either. AJ is always awesome to see when he has time and the ability to be himself. Kaz can do great stuff too, but I could do without Daniels ever being near AJ Styles again. At the end of the day, AJ is going to win the feud with him again, just as he has every time they’ve feuded.
We’ll take a break from PPV for a bit to look at an Xplosion match from March 20, 2012.
Eric Young vs. Kazarian
Young and ODB recently won the Knockouts Tag Titles which they still hold as of this writing. There are blue lights in the arena for some reason, making it look like a more laid back Sin Cara match. Eric locks up with the referee to start before things speed up. It’s a crisscross but Kaz rolls out of the ring. Young keeps running until Kaz gets on the mic and calls him a buffoon. Kaz wants none of this tomfoolery so he heads back inside, only to be caught in an armbar.
Young gets thrown to the floor as the fans loudly cheer for the bizarre one. We take a break and come back with Kaz holding a chinlock. Young fights up with some shots to the ribs, only to get caught by a spin kick to the face. Off to a front facelock for a bit until Eric comes back with a jawbreaker. For no apparent reason Young takes his pants off and comes back with a belly to belly suplex. A slam puts Kaz down again and there’s a top rope elbow for two. Kaz comes back by putting Eric’s pants on his face (just go with it) but Eric hits a missile dropkick for two. A low blow and rollup with feet on the ropes gives Kaz the pin.
Rating: D-. I do not like Eric Young. His “comedy” isn’t funny and it only has been once or twice in his entire run in TNA. Seeing a man put his pants on his head and seeing him enjoy it doesn’t make me care about this guy and I have no desire to see his schtick anymore. Hopefully he stops it now that he’s come back to TNA.
Kaz and Daniels would get a Tag Team Title shot on Impact, June 28, 2012.
Tag Titles: Kurt Angle/AJ Styles vs. Kazarian/Christopher Daniels
Daniels and Kaz are challenging but Kaz doesn’t like Daniels all that much right now. He and AJ start and AJ takes him down followed by a kick to the back. Off to Angle and Kaz tags out, almost by slapping the taste out of Daniels’ mouth. Kurt charges into a boot and Daniels hits his slingshot elbow. Off to Kaz who covers off that elbow for some reason. Daniels yells at Kaz and tags himself back in but runs from AJ. The challengers argue on the floor as we take a break.
Back with Daniels in control of AJ and hitting his running STO for two. Angle comes in and cleans house. He fires off Rolling Germans on Kaz and does the same to Daniels. Kaz grabs a TKO for two on Kurt but gets caught in the ankle lock. That gets broken up quickly and everything breaks down. AJ clotheslines Kaz down but gets caught in a Blue Thunder Bomb. Angle gets sent into the referee by Daniels so Chris grabs a chair. Kaz pulls it away and lets AJ hit the Pele. Kaz tells AJ to finish this, but then hits AJ in the back with a chair, giving Daniels the pin and the titles at 11:34.
Rating: B-. So Kaz is evil for the sake of being evil. I guess that works, but would this count as two turns in the same show? Eh it’s fine as it’s better with AJ and Kurt not being champions again as the titles weren’t really fitting on them. This was nowhere near as good as the Slammiversary match but it was fine for a TV main event.
Now called Bad Influence, Kaz and Daniels would compete at the first X-Travaganza One Night Only.
Bad Influence vs. Petey Williams/Sonjay Dutt
Williams and Daniels get things going with Petey being sent in the corner but coming out with a headscissors and a smack to the face of Kazarian. Off to Dutt for a double elbow for a two count and some shoulders into Daniels’ ribs in the corner. Kaz comes in and ducks a kick, only to be caught by a standing moonsault for two. A dropkick gets the same for Dutt and it’s back to Petey.
Williams hooks a Sharpshooter on Kaz while Dutt hooks an Octopus Hold on Daniels. Petey hits some slick combo moves on both guys by hitting both guys at once before shrugging off a double leg drag. Kaz finally comes back and drapes Williams over the top rope to send him to the floor and take over. Off to Daniels for his slingshot elbow drop followed by the slingshot legdrop from Kaz for two. Daniels hooks a test of strength on Petey and climbs the rope to drive a knee into his chest for two.
We hit the nerve hold by Daniels for a bit before Petey is driven into the corner to break up a comeback. Kaz comes in for a front facelock as things slow down a bit as you would expect them to at some point. Petey finally fights up and gets to the corner for the hot tag to Sonjay. Dutt hits a cool bulldog into the middle buckle and a springboard legdrop onto the back of Daniels’ head for two.
Sonjay misses a springboard clothesline to Daniels and gets caught by a tornado DDT for Kazarian as Taz rips into Earl Hebner for being old. Dutt escapes Fade to Black but gets caught in a powerbomb/neckbreaker combo for two. Williams comes back in for his headscissors into a Russian legsweep for two on Daniels but Kaz breaks up the Canadian Destroyer.
Dutt hits a standing Sliced Bread on Kaz for two more but Daniels makes the save. Petey sends Daniels to the floor and hits a sweet slingshot rana to take him down. Dutt kicks Kaz in the head and loads up the moonsault double stomp, only to have Daniels break things up. Fade to Black puts Dutt down and the BME is good for the pin for Daniels.
Rating: B. Good fast paced formula based tag match here and that’s really hard to screw up when you have talented guys like these people. Dutt continues to look awesome since his comeback to the company but unfortunately TNA feels the need to focus on bland guys like Zema Ion for reasons I can’t fathom.
Another One Night Only, at Hardcore Justice II.
Bad Influence vs. Generation Me
Ladder match as mentioned and Generation Me are Max and Jeremy Buck. They all shake hands to start but but everyone turns on everyone like true heels should. Generation Me takes over with some quick neckbreakers but Bad Influence takes them down with strikes. We get the first ladders brought in as this is moving very fast so far. Jeremy starts climbing but Kaz pelts another ladder at him for the save. The fans seem to be behind the Bucks as Kaz hits a TKO on Max from the top of the ladder.
Daniels gets backdropped onto a ladder and Kaz gets the same via a monkey flip. A ladder is bridged between the ring and the ladder so Max can spear Kaz down under said ladder. Daniels is dropkicked off the apron onto the ladder but Kaz saves his partner from being splashed through the ladder. Jeremy suplexes Kaz from the apron onto the ladder in a very painful looking landing.
Daniels is stuck in the ring with both Bucks but manages to shove Max off the ladder onto the top rope but Max lands on his feet on the rope and springboards down to take out Kaz. AWESOME bit of balance there. Jeremy goes up but Kaz pops back in with a springboard dropkick to make the save. All of the ladders are down now and a sliding dropkick from Kaz sends Max to the floor. Jeremy makes another save on Daniels by slamming him face first into the mat to put him down. Kaz and Max go up but Daniels throws the Appletini into Buck’s face, allowing Kaz to pull the check down for the win.
Rating: B-. This was the kind of pickup the show needed. Sometimes a good spotfest is the solution to your problems and that’s what we got here. This was also a good example of what happens when you put something on the line in a match like this. The $20,000 isn’t a great prize, but it’s worth more than bragging rights or whatever else you want to say the first two matches were worth. Allegedly Kaz is undefeated in ladder matches in TNA. If so that’s rather impressive.
Back to Impact for Hardcore Justice 2013 on August 15.
Bound For Glory Series: Austin Aries vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Kazarian vs. AJ Styles
This is for 20 points and it’s a ladder match. The clipboard hanging above the ring has a piece of paper with the number 20 on it. Keeping it simple I guess. Kaz goes to the floor to get the first ladder but the other three block him from coming back in. Aries and Kaz fight for the ladder on the ramp with Austin letting go of the ladder to send Kaz to the floor. A top rope ax handle puts Kaz down but AJ knocks Hardy to the floor as well. AJ dives onto Hardy to take him down again and leave Styles as the only man standing.
Kaz gets in a ladder shot to put AJ down before climbing the ladder. Aries comes back in and crotches Kaz against the ladder, leaving Austin vs. Jeff in the ring. Jeff sends him to the floor but AJ pulls the ladder away for a showdown. Hardy tries a quick Twist of Fate but gets shoved off and sent to the announce table on the floor. Kaz comes back in with a slingshot DDT to AJ but has to have a forearm duel with Aries. Styles dropkicks the ladder into the back of Kaz’s head but Aries backdrops AJ to the floor. The company is living up to its name for a change as this has been nonstop action since the bell.
Aries runs interference to stop Jeff and AJ from going up the ladder before sending Kaz head first into the post. Austin tries a climb but gets pulled down by Hardy and Jeff knocks down the other two as well. Jeff and Austin both go up but Kaz and AJ make the save, sending all four guys down as we take a break. Back with Aries going up but being pulled down by Kaz before he gets too far. AJ stops both of them and hits the springboard forearm to send Austin to the ramp. The ladder appears to be bent or broken.
Kaz brings in another ladder to clean house but can’t climb up fast enough. All four guys go up at the same time and AJ gets his fingers on the contract but Aries shakes everything up with a sunset bomb to Hardy. Kaz and AJ are left alone on the ladder and they fight over a suplex off the ladder. Kaz rakes AJ’s eyes to put him down but Styles shoves the ladder over, putting everyone down again.
Aries hits his running dropkick in the corner on Styles and goes up but Hardy makes another save. Styles pulls Aries off the ladder and loads up the Styles Clash but Kaz pulls in a downward spiral on AJ at the same time. Kaz goes up but it’s Jeff making another save. Aries comes out of the corner with a missile dropkick to take them both down and goes up as well, but here are Roode and Daniels for a distraction.
Styles plays Shelton Benjamin by springboarding up to the ladder but Hardy shoves the ladder over, sending both guys to the floor. Roode pulls Hardy down as Daniels distracts the referee but Jeff kicks him off. Daniels slips the appletini to Kaz and Jeff gets blinded, allowing Kaz to get the win at 17:35.
Rating: A-. This was the simple formula of take four guys and let them dive off stuff for fifteen minutes or so. I’m not big on another faction in TNA because they’re already on overload with them, but at least they’re not involved with the other two. The action here was great though and they couldn’t have picked a better opener.
We’ll wrap it up in Japan at One Night Only: Global Impact.
Bad Influence vs. Junior Stars
The Junior Stars are Koji Kanemoto and Minoru Tanaka. Kanemoto wrestled at Starrcade 1995 and invented the Koji Clutch. Tanaka was in TNA for the 2006 World X-Cup. I’m assuming the Junior part is for their weight class and not for their ages. Daniels and Tanaka get things going with Christopher being taken into the corner, where he shouts CLEAN BREAK about fifteen times in a loud voice. Daniels does the same to Tanaka, who shouts the same thing and is granted his request. They hit the mat for a bit before Tanaka dropkicks Daniels’ knee.
Off to Kanemoto vs. Kazarian with Koji taking over, using something like Joe’s Facewash. Taz says Koji invented that move which really wouldn’t surprise me given Joe’s work in Japan. Kaz comes back with a dropkick and is hiptossed onto Koji by Daniels for two. Back to Daniels as Taz makes jokes about photographers. They’re firmly in the “let’s make jokes instead of calling the match” mode tonight.
Bad Influence starts some fast tagging to keep Kanemoto in trouble but he avoids a charge from Daniels to get a breather. A suplex puts Daniels down but there’s no tag to Tanaka. Instead Koji misses a moonsault and a double big boot puts both guys down. A double tag brings in Daniels to face Tanaka with Minoru taking over with shots to the face. Everything breaks down and Tanaka dives off the middle rope to take Daniels down to the floor.
A half butterfly suplex gets two on Christopher and Koji gets two off a 450. Kazarian pulls the referee out to really get the fans’ attention. A powerbomb/neckbreaker combination gets two on Tanaka but he pops up and puts Kaz in an ankle lock. Kanemoto puts Daniels in a cross armbreaker at the same time but Kaz crawls over to save his partner. Why Tanaka lets go of his hold when Tanaka’s is broken isn’t clear. Bad Influence goes High/Low for the pin out of nowhere on Kanemoto.
Rating: C+. The match was fine for an opener as Daniels and Kazarian can wrestle without having to do all their comedy stuff. That fits in better for a more serious show like this, and the match was entertaining as a result. It wasn’t anything spectacular but not every match has to be.
Kazarian may never have been the star of the X-Division but he was always good at what he did. He found a niche in ladder matches and was one of the most successful performers ever in the gimmick. I love his stuff with Daniels as they’ve found something absolutely hilarious and are allowed to have fun out there.
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Wrestler of the Day – March 2: Umaga
Off to Samoa for some Umaga.
Umaga got his start up in Pennsylvania as Ekmo in a tag team called the Island Boyz. They would receive a dark match against the Haas Brothers (Charlie and his brother Russ) on September 18, 2001.
Island Boyz vs. Haas Brothers
The Island Boyz are more famous as 3 Minute Warning. Ekmo (Umaga) throws Russ around for a bit before it’s off to Kimo for a double headbutt and two. Off to Charlie who runs into a clothesline who gets sat on while attempting a sunset flip. The Haas Brothers finally hit a double dropkick to take over on Kimo for a bit but Russ just stands around a lot. The referee misses a tag off to Ekmo, meaning the big monster Samoans are the faces here for some reason. Kimo comes back with a pretty bad looking double suplex and the tag brings in Ekmo to clean house. A side slam from Kimo sets up a top rope splash from Ekmo to pin Russ.
Rating: C-. Very basic tag team match here but the heel/face dymanic was a bit head scratching. The crowd popped for the finish which is more than you can ask for in a match like this. Neither team looked all that great and I can’t say I’m surprised that Russ never made it up to the top level.
The Island Boyz would get hired and brought up to the main roster about a year later as 3 Minute Warning, a pair of enforcers for Eric Bischoff. Their first PPV match was against Billy and Chuck at Unforgiven 2002. You need the recap for this one.
We recap 3 Minute Warning vs. Billy and Chuck. This was one of those things that only happens in wrestling and soap operas. So Billy and Chuck were going to have a “commitment ceremony” (and yes it’s exactly what it sounds like) and the justice of the peace was really old. He started talking about how this could last and said it could be three minutes. He then changed his voice and pulled his face off, revealing that it was Bischoff in a prosthetic mask. The fat guys (Jamal and Rosey) beat up Billy and Chuck after that. Stephanie did the same on Raw and the match happened as a result.
Billy and Chuck vs. 3 Minute Warning
Here they’re just Rosey and Jamal but the 3 minute idea was still around. Jamal is more famous as Umaga. The fight starts immediately and Rico kicks Chuck in the head to take over. Rosey vs. Chuck starts us off. Cole talks about all of the people that 3 Minute Warning has beaten up, calling them a who’s who of wrestling: Shawn Stasiak, D’Lo Brown, Mini-dust, lesbians, Mae Young and Moolah just to name a few. I’m not here any more. I’m over there. That blew me away.
This is the fat boys’ debut and the fans make gay chants at Rico. A middle rope moonsault misses Chuck and this isn’t an incredibly interesting match. Billy comes in and cleans house but then tries to ram the Samoans’ heads together. And people wonder why he gets made fun of. Anyway, Rosey goes up for a splash but Chuck saves….by throwing him off the top with the hopes that Billy isn’t there anymore I guess. Jamal cleans house and superkicks Chuck but walks into a Fameasser. Rico comes in for a distraction and a Samoan Drop ends Billy to set up HLA later.
Rating: D. Well this was uh…..pointless? Why did this need to happen on PPV again? The match wasn’t very good at all and was just here to set up an angle later on in the night, which I’m sure won’t have any shenanigans at all. Billy and Chuck would split very soon after this after losing in the first round of the Smackdown tag title tournament.
The pair would head over to Raw and face various teams, including Kane and Rob Van Dam on February 10, 2003.
Kane/Rob Van Dam vs. 3 Minute Warning
Jamal (Umaga) slams Rob down to start but Rob takes out the legs and gets two off the standing moonsault. Rob goes up top but gets shoved face first into the barricade, allowing Rico to get in a cheap shot on the floor. Back in and it’s off to Rosey for a splash for two. The match keeps going slowly as Jamal comes back in, only to have Rob backflip out of a belly to back suplex.
A clothesline puts Van Dam back down for two but he ducks another clothesline which takes Rosey down by mistake. Kane gets the hot tag to clean house with all of his usual stuff. Rosey breaks up a chokeslam attempt on Jamal so Kane kicks both of them in the face. Rob comes in as well for his usual stuff and Rolling Thunder gets two on Jamal. Everything breaks down and it’s a chokeslam and Five Star to Jamal for the pin.
Rating: D. This is one of those matches where you can only say it existed. There’s just nothing else going on in this match and it showed badly. I have no idea who thought splitting up the tag titles in 2002 was a good idea but it was clear by this point that there was no way to support them. Hence why they went on for about five more years of course.
Umaga would be released in June, allegedly due to being in a bar fight. He would head over to TNA in a tag team with Sonni Siaki. That went nowhere so it was off to Japan for a bit before coming back to TNA in 2004, where he would be brought in to try and beat up Alex Shelley on August 11, 2004.
Alex Shelley vs. Ekmo
Ekmo runs over Shelley to start as Tenay tries to explain the Samoan family tree. A suplex puts Alex down and the running hip attack in the corner crushes his face. The managers (the reason for the story) chase each other to the back and when we cut back, Ekmo is down. I can’t stand stuff like that. Shelley cranks on the leg but Ekmo comes back with a spinebuster.
Shelley’s manager Goldilocks tries to come in but Desire (brought in Ekmo) comes back in for a catfight. Ekmo hits a top rope splash but the referee is with the girls. Shelley’s old partner Abyss comes in with two chair shots and a Black Hole Slam to Ekmo, giving Alex’s unconscious body the pin.
Rating: D+. This was all backstory but that doesn’t make it any easier to sit through. The match was short and Desire wasn’t bad looking though, so at least there was something to keep me from getting bored. This would be a one off appearance for Ekmo but it could have been far worse.
After another year in Japan it was back to WWE as Umaga, and old school Samoan monster. His first major match was against Ric Flair at Backlash 2006.
Umaga vs. Ric Flair
Umaga debuted less than a month before this so this is his first real match. When you need a new kid tested, call in Naitch. Flair jumps him in the aisle and that goes badly for him. We go into the ring for the bell and Flair gets pounded into the corner. Flair pokes him in the eye and hits him low a few times, only to get chopped right back down.
The running corner attack (NOT FROM RIKISHI YOU NXT ANNOUNCERS) misses and we go to the floor. Umaga misses a charge and hits the post and it’s time to go after the leg. The Figure Four is broken up and Flair is put in the Tree of Woe for a headbutt. The running hip attack sets up another headbutt which sets up the Samoan Spike for the pin.
Rating: C+. This was a total squash for Umaga but the idea here was perfect: Flair made Umaga look like a monster here which is exactly the point of something like this. Umaga would be a destruction machine, not losing until January when Cena finally put him down with a rollup of all things. This was a textbook example of how to put someone over using a legend.
Umaga would destroy everyone in his path for the rest of the year, including this match against Shawn Michaels on Raw from July 31, 2006.
Shawn Michaels vs. Umaga
The idea here is that no one can stop Umaga so Shawn is brought in to give him a real test while also tying in with the DX vs. Vince feud. Umaga also has Armando Alejandro Estrada as his manager. Shawn chops away to start and hammers away in the corner before hitting a low dropkick. Umaga misses a clothesline and Shawn bails outside as Vince and Shane come out.
We take a break and come back with Umaga uppercutting Shawn down. A kick to the face sends Shawn to the floor as the announcers talk about HHH being taken away for having Cuban cigars. Back in and Umaga hammers away on Shawn even more but Shawn won’t quit. We hit the neck crank on Shawn but he avoids the running hip attack in the corner.
Michaels comes back with chops and the forearm to put Umaga down but Estrada blocks the nipup. Umaga runs over Estrada by mistake but catches Shawn in the Samoan drop. The Samoan freaks out and loads up the announce table but Shawn avoids the Samoan Spike and goes low. The top rope elbow connects but Vince grabs the leg before Chin Music. Shawn takes the forearm but Umaga takes Shawn’s head off with the Spike for the pin.
Rating: C. This was a basic Shawn fights a monster match but it worked well enough. The interference made sense and helped advance the feud so it’s about all you can ask for. Umaga was getting some traction around this time and this was the kind of big win that he needed to put him a bit higher.
This roll would eventually earn Umaga a WWE Title shot against John Cena at New Year’s Revolution 2007.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga
The big match introductions never get old to me. This is during Cena’s year long reign that made him so freaking hated. Umaga is just destroying him early on so cue up the Superman music for later. Cena has had maybe two moves in ten minutes. This is domination. Take out the Superman music and give us the Zeke Jackson music.
Cena hits the Throwback but he apparently hasn’t read up on his stereotypes as a shot to the head won’t hurt him at all. Ross references Yokozuna with Umaga, which is a bit much for my taste. The FU doesn’t work either. More or less the fatness of Umaga is too much. And it’s nerve hold time. That gave me a funny image of Samoans in a medical school learning how to do those holds. That’s rather amusing.
After the hold though he RAPS UP and starts his ending sequence, only to not be able to get the FU. Umaga goes for the running hip shot but Cena gets his feet into the chest and rolls Umaga up for the pin. I’ll give them that one: that was a lot more realistic than just getting the FU for the pin, and they kept Umaga looking strong.
Rating: B. Not bad at all here as this was in essence a throwaway show and a token title defense for Cena, although in the end it wound up paying off. That’s always a good sign as this wasn’t a terrible match at all and was actually pretty entertaining. They kept both guys looking strong which set them up for last man standing the following month.
As mentioned, the rematch was a last man standing match at Royal Rumble 2007. Cena has bad ribs coming in.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga
Cena is defending and this is last man standing. Cena pounds away to start but Umaga barely moves. Umaga gets in a shot to the ribs and Cena falls to the outside, clutching his ribs. The champ gets sent into the steps and it’s all Umaga in the early going. They slug it out in the aisle and all of a sudden Cena’s punches work better. He tries to ram Umaga face first into the apron but Umaga screams and hits Cena in the ribs again.
Back in and Cena is in even more trouble with Umaga pounding on the ribs. A clothesline puts Cena down and Umaga brings in the steps. Cena knocks him off the apron though and throws the steps down onto Umaga’s (hands covering) head. It looked a lot better when Kane did it because you couldn’t see the hands but whatever. That draws a six count but more importantly it allows Cena to get a breather.
Umaga superkicks Cena down and it’s off to a bearhug. Since there are no submissions, Umaga lets Cena go and brings in some more steps. The steps are set up in the corner but Cena avoids the running hip attack (SEE??? IT WAS UMAGA AND NOT RIKISHI!!! SCREW YOU WWE ANNOUNCERS!!!) and blasts Umaga in the head with the steps. That only gets seven so Cena goes up and jumps into a spinning Rock Bottom, drawing some loud screams from the champ.
The Samoan cannonballs down onto Cena’s ribs but Cena finally knees him in the crotch to slow Umaga down. The Protobomb sends Umaga onto the steps but only gets about five as Cena hits the Shuffle to break the count. Cena tries the FU but Umaga’s weight causes Cena to fall face first into the steps. John is busted open so the fans tell him that he sucks. Ignore the fact that almost no one else could get a match this good out of Umaga I guess.
Cena gets up at eight and gets punched in the face some more, only to start Hulking Up. He pounds away on Umaga but walks into a Samoan Drop, driving the ribs and Cena’s shoulder into the mat. The Samoan Spike is blocked (for the life of me I do not get why they picked a thumb to the neck for Umaga’s finisher. The guy is a MONSTER and he pokes you in the neck?) so Umaga headbutts Cena down instead.
Umaga puts him in the Tree of Woe but Cena sits up in the corner to avoid a running headbutt. The top rope Fameasser takes Umaga down and Cena sends him shoulder first into the post. They head to the floor and Cena is covered in blood. With Umaga still laying over the ropes, Cena BLASTS HIM with a monitor to the head to put him down. Back to the floor but Umaga catches a diving Cena and drives him back first into the post.
Umaga puts Cena on the announce table and runs along the other tables, only to miss a splash and crash onto the ground. That gets nine and Cena has no idea what to do next. Estrada, Umaga’s manager, unhooks the top rope and tells Umaga to use the metal pole to blast Cena in the head. Cena catches a charging Umaga with the FU and hits him in the head with the pole. He hooks a kind of STF with the ring rope and Umaga is passing out. Umaga starts fighting up so Cena chokes him even more. FINALLY Umaga is out and Cena retains the title.
Rating: B+. This was a FIGHT which is what a last man standing match is supposed to do. I was digging the story they were telling here with Cena fighting a savage but having to become a savage himself to beat him. The fans didn’t like him at this point, but screw them as would you really rather have Umaga as champion? This was one of many awesome matches Cena had in this stretch, but OH NO kids like him so he must suck right? Give me a break.
Umaga would pick up the Intercontinental Title a few weeks later before being entered into the real main event of Wrestlemania 23, as Vince’s handpicked monster against Donald Trump’s handpicked man in Bobby Lashley. I’ll throw in the backstory again.
We recap the real main event for tonight’s show and the reason why this show was the highest drawing show ever for the next five years. Vince and Donald Trump both agreed to back a guy into a match and the losing billionaire would get their head shaved. This was when Trump was still a big deal and EVERYONE was backing Umaga because they wanted to see Trump bald. Oh except for Rock who actually cut a promo about wanting to see Vince bald.
Trump picked the ECW World Champion Bobby Lashley. Steve Austin was brought in to referee because this is Wrestlemania. The best part of the build was Lashley in a cage with Umaga on the floor. To escape, Lashley shoulder blocked the cage wall, knocking it down to the floor and nearly crushing Umaga in the process.
Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga
The barber’s chair gets its own entrance complete with some snappy music. Oh and Umaga is IC Champion. Trump coming out to a song with the only word being MONEY is perfect. Real money rains down from the ceiling, including $100 bills. To be fair this show brought in like 50 million dollars in PPV alone so they can afford a bit. They collide to start and slug it out with Lashley pounding him into the corner. Austin pulls Lashley off of Umaga since they’re in the ropes and Umaga gets in some shots of him own. Lashley goes up to the middle rope for a shoulder for two.
Umaga’s manager Armando Estrada is dragged in by Lashley and powerslammed down with ease. Lashley throws him out to the floor and low bridges Umaga to send him to the floor as well. Back in and Lashley misses a spear, sending him out to the floor this time. We head inside again and Umaga chokes away, only to be pulled off at four and a half by Austin. Austin has to do it again, this time by the hair for good measure.
A BIG clothesline puts Lashley down again and Umaga cannonballs down onto his chest for good measure. The Samoan drop puts Lashley down again as does a failed slam attempt. Vince gets up on the apron and gets dropped down by an elbow from Lashley, only to walk into a shot from Umaga to take over again. Umaga goes up and gets slammed down before being clotheslined down. Both guys down and Austin gets to nine before stopping so it doesn’t end in a draw.
Shane McMahon comes out to check on Vince as Umaga hits an uppercut to drop Lashley again. Austin has to pull Umaga out of the corner, earning him a Samoan Spike. Shane comes in and pounds away on Lashley until Umaga is back into things. The running hip attack crushes Bobby’s face and Vince throws in some trashcans. Shane hits the Coast to Coast to drive the can into Lashley’s face. A top rope splash from Umaga crushes Lashley and Shane has a referee’s shirt on now.
Austin breaks up the pin and beats up Shane for good measure, only to walk into another Samoan Spike. Trump isn’t sure what to do and shows off those great acting skills of his. Vince comes over to taunt him and TRUMP CLOTHESLINES VINCE! Umaga tries another Spike on Austin but gets countered into the Stunner. The spear from Lashley connects and it’s time for Vince to be bald.
Rating: D. This match sucked for the most part until Austin got going. The problem at the end of the day was no one on the planet with any idea what was going on here thought Vince was going to win. It also didn’t help that no one cared about Lashley because no one had ever given us a reason to. He was just kind of there for the most part and there was nothing more to him than he used to be a college wrestler and he’s muscular. Seriously, that’s Lashley’s story almost in full.
Umaga would lose the title to Santino Marella but got it back soon enough to defend against Jeff Hardy at Great American Bash 2007.
Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga
Jeff is challenging and that Candace scene was in place of a recap. Umaga immediately takes him down and they go to the floor. Jeff fights back but walks into a Samoan Drop which must be like learning to walk at the Samoan wrestling school. Umaga pounds him down and hooks a nerve hold. Jeff looks more like he’s coming down off a really bad trip. Must be a Sunday. And now it’s back to the nerve hold for a VERY long time.
Jeff gets up and tries a slam but guess how well that goes. Umaga crashes down onto Jeff’s chest and then does it again. This has been a squash so far. A middle rope headbutt misses and both of them are down. Out to the floor and there’s a plancha, thankfully by Jeff so that the plate tectonics don’t shift. A dropkick gets two for Jeff. The running hip bump in the corner misses and Jeff hooks a Twist of Fate for two.
The fans are way into this too which is always a good sign. Umaga charges and hits the ring post. There’s a Swanton but Umaga BARELY kicks out. That seems to wake Umaga up though so he throws Jeff around like a skinny man that owes him drug money. The corner hip shot and the Samoan Spike kill Jeff deader than an overdose on every drug known to man and we’re done.
Rating: C+. This was one of the opening steps in the process of Jeff’s rise to the world title a year and a half later. He would show signs of hammering away on Umaga but then he would come up short. Jeff would continue to rise up and get closer and closer to the big wins, even getting the Rumble title shot in January, before FINALLY winning the title in 18 months. Yes Virginia, there used to be world title pushes that lasted longer than two months.
Umaga would begin to feud with HHH, who happened to win the World Title in the opening match of No Mercy 2007. Umaga had a match against HHH that night so it was made into a title match.
Raw World Title: HHH vs. Umaga
HHH gets to use King of Kings now that he’s champion. Umaga takes him down immediately so HHH fires back with a DDT. Thankfully Umaga remembers his racial stereotypes and no sells it. HHH low bridges him and we go to the floor. Umaga gets rammed into the steps and yells at HHH for it. My goodness it’s nice to see a Samoan monster that knows how to take a beating to the head.
Back in Umaga pounds him down but misses a middle rope headbutt. For some reason that slows him down but the Facebuster has no effect. Pedigree is countered but the spinebuster works just fine. Another Pedigree attempt is countered into a Samoan Drop and the Game has bad ribs. Out to the floor and HHH goes into the barricade. Back in for a bearhug as the champ is in trouble.
Umaga shifts up into a spinning Rock Bottom for two. The headbutt (this time not of the ropes) hits the bad ribs and is followed by a knee. Umaga pounds on the head of the Game and has him down in the corner. The running hip attack (SEE??? IT WAS UMAGA! NOT FREAKING RIKISHI YOU STUPID NXT PEOPLE!) misses, Umaga gets launched into the post and HHH hits a quick Pedigree to retain.
Rating: C-. Not much here as it felt like a Raw main event instead of a PPV title match. Then again this is only the second PPV title match out of four tonight so it’s ok if there’s a match with only about six and a half minutes. It’s nothing that great but it was good to allow HHH to look good. You know, like in a real title reign at a smaller PPV instead of in the third match of the night, but whatever.
Since he was out of the title picture, Umaga would be Rated RKO’s partner against Evolution on the Raw 15th Anniversary special.
Rated RKO/Umaga vs. Evolution
JR calls this the ultimate tag team explosion. Not quite but whatever. Joined in progress after a break with Flair coming in to face the freshly in Edge. Flair is in the whole “lose and you’re fired” period, but they’ve amended it to say that it’s only a singles loss that counts. Off to Umaga for a nerve hold and it’s Orton in again. Flair avoids a dropkick and there’s a tag to Batista. Everything breaks down and Edge takes a Bossman Slam. HHH and Batista hit stereo spinebusters on Rated RKO. Umaga comes in and shoves the referee for a DQ.
Rating: D+. This was nothing of note but it wasn’t supposed to be. The wrestling here isn’t the point and it would be a mistake to treat it as one. This was about a quick Evolution reunion when most of them were still popular so it’s hard to complain about it. It’s not like 2003 where they were ALL you saw on Raw.
Umaga wouldn’t do much for the first half of 2008 other than having a horrible match for brand supremacy at Wrestlemania XXIV against Batista. He would however have a match against Jeff Hardy at One Night Stand 2008.
Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga
Falls count anywhere. Jeff is in his whole chasing the brass ring phase here as he would be for most of 2008. Hardy charges straight at him….and down he goes. Whisper in the Wind out of nowhere gets two. It’s as fast as it sounds. Jeff jumps into a spinning release Rock Bottom (called a Black Hole Slam by JR) but is fine a few seconds later, hitting a plancha to the floor for two.
Into the crowd we go as Umaga sends Jeff flying to various places. Jeff finds a weapon in the form of a hollow traffic barrel which he chucks at Umaga’s head. Thankfully Umaga has studied his stereotypes and kicks Jeff in the face for two. Good boy. Umaga misses a charge into an anvil case and Jeff finds a fire extinguisher….which he can’t get to work. Finally he gets a shot off and Youmanga is staggered.
They’re in the back now and head into a stairwell where Jeff slides down the railing like you would see a little kid do, ramming into Umaga for two. To be fair that’s something that actually was logical so I can’t fault him there. Out into the concourse with Umaga getting two after throwing Jeff into a garbage can. They go outside and it’s all Samoan fat man. Jeff is rammed into a backhoe or something like that for two.
Basically the idea here is Hardy gets thrown into random objects before he can find something to jump off. They fight up to the production truck and Hardy hammers away which actually works to an extent. It’s kind of weird seeing a blue sky like that behind them. They climb a truck with Shawn’s face on it and Jeff kicks him off before hitting a huge Swanton onto an unseen Umaga for the pin.
Rating: C. Just a hardcore match here which was designed to set up the big spot at the end and give Hardy a win. Nothing wrong with that but there was nothing particularly great here at all. Umaga was a guy that you can only do so much with and Jeff wasn’t the kind of guy that could do something like that, which isn’t his fault. Not bad, but nothing great at all.
After being out a few months with a knee injury, Umaga would return in early 2009 before entering into a quick feud with CM Punk. From Extreme Rules 2009.
CM Punk vs. Umaga
This was a fairly weak mini feud that saw Umaga just destroy Punk at every time. Punk has MITB here and has been trying to cash it in for awhile but Umaga keeps stopping him. Oh and this is a Samoan Strap Match. Why do I not picture a lot of straps in Samoa? They’ll be tied at the wrist here and I think you win by pinfall or submission. There was never any real justification for Umaga to beat the tar out of Punk like he did but whatever.
I guess you could go with he’s a savage. I guess this is the four corner style. Dang it. There is however a helpful graphic in the corner saying how many you have in a row with Punk in green and Umaga in red. Still though I’ve never gotten a clear definition of what in succession means. I know what succession means but often times they just seemingly go with what fits best for the rules at the time. Umaga works on Punk’s arm as this match is just kind of odd.
Not sure why it is but it comes off as most odd to me. With Punk on the floor Umaga gets two buckles but instead of getting the third he goes for Punk. I didn’t know Samoans were such idiots. Aww Punk went for the GTS. That’s so cute. Grisham says Punk was undaunted. What does it mean to be daunted?
I’ve never heard of anyone being daunted but just undaunted. Fans are very behind Punk. Punk gets three but charges at Umaga instead and gets drilled. Well he deserves it for being stupid. Umaga gets three but Punk gets him to charge at him like a bull and Umaga goes to the floor. This is getting fairly repetitive.
Umaga gets pulled off the top and crashes to the mat. Punk gets three and with Umaga pulling away from him, for no explained reason at all, Umaga charges at him and gets caught in GTS so Punk can win. Ending was just stupid looking on Umaga’s part.
Rating: D. These matches were never very good and this is no exception. Also, there were far too many stupid moments here, mainly the ending. I love Punk, but this was just an incredibly pointless feud and thankfully this is the last one between them. Keep an eye on Punk though. He’s going places.
Umaga would be released in the fall before passing away due to heart failure in December 2009. His career wasn’t all that long but he was a talented guy who was better than most Samoan monsters. I don’t think he would have ever been a long term champion or anything, but maybe a very short title reign could have worked. He would have worked better in the territory days though and that’s a problem with the modern system. Umaga was a talented guy though and had good matches if given the right opponent.
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Wrestler of the Day – February 4: Chris Sabin
We’ll head over to TNA for one of their Triple Crown Champions: Chris Sabin.
Sabin would debut in 2000 and hang out in the indies for a few years before joining upstart company TNA in 2003. Less than a month after debuting he would receive an X-Division Title shot in a three way on May 14, 2003.
X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Amazing Red
Red is defending. Everyone goes after everyone to start and all three guys hit armdrags. Red misses a running shooting star press and it’s a three way standoff. Lynn hits a quick dropkick to the side of Sabin’s head but Red makes the save, triggering a fight between the two of them. Red sends him into the corner with a hurricanrana followed by a dropkick in the corner. Lynn comes right back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two with Chris making the save.
It’s Sabin vs. Lynn now with Sabin scoring with a backbreaker of his own for two. Red replaces Jerry in the two man fight and takes Sabin down with something resembling a DDT for a near fall of his own. This brings out XXX (Christopher Daniels, Low Ki and Elix Skipper) to watch the match from ringside. Red hurricanranas Sabin off of Lynn’s shoulders and gets clotheslined down by Jerry for two more. Sabin backdrops out of a cradle piledriver but gets caught in a quick German suplex for another near fall.
Chris catches Lynn in a sitout powerbomb but Red breaks up the pin with a dropkick. Red can’t get a sunset bomb on Chris so he kicks him in the face for two instead. We get a double reverse DDT with Sabin DDTing Red and Lynn DDTing Sabin to put all three guys down. Lynn puts Sabin in a figure four headscissors and Red puts the same thing on Jerry. Well where would a threeway be without doing the same ideas that ECW started ten years earlier?
Everyone lets go of their holds for no apparent reason other than to get to the next spot. Red takes Lynn down with a tornado DDT but Sabin kicks his head off before the champion can dive. Instead it’s Sabin with the dive onto Jerry but Red dives on both of them for good measure.
Back in and Jerry drops a leg on the back of Sabin’s head but Red breaks up the pin with a Swanton. A MuscleBuster gets two on Red with Jerry making the save this time. Lynn’s cradle piledriver gets two on Sabin and everyone is spent. Red gets two on Jerry via a slingshot sunset bomb but XXX interferes with Skipper laying out Red and putting Sabin on top for the pin and the title.
Rating: C. Pick almost any three way match you’ve ever seen over the years and this is about the same thing. It’s nothing I haven’t seen a dozen times and I can’t stand how contrived so many of the spots look. Sabin would turn heel as a result of the ending but that was part of the big mess for TNA in 2003.
Sabin would stick around the division for a long time and fight for the change at being champion again, including in a fourway on the first episode of Impact from June 4, 2004.
Chris Sabin vs. Michael Shane vs. Elix Skipper vs. AJ Styles
Styles is a mystery man, revealed about twenty seconds after Russo wouldn’t reveal him. This is his first of about 85 returns to the X-Division. It’s a wild brawl to start as thankfully we don’t have tags in this. Shane and Styles are the only ones left in the ring and AJ does that sweet drop down into a dropkick spot, only to be taken down by a springboard missile dropkick from Sabin.
Skipper kicks Sabin down for two but Shane is back up with forearms. A wheelbarrow suplex puts Skipper down again as the fans are all over Shane. AJ pulls Michael out to the floor but gets suplexed down for his troubles. Skipper slams Sabin for two but gets caught in an Edgecution for two for Sabin. Chris escapes a rollup from AJ and gets two of his own off a springboard tornado DDT.
Shane is back in with a belly to belly on Sabin but gets crotched by AJ, allowing Elix to walk the ropes into a hurricanrana to send Michael to the floor. AJ sends Sabin to the floor and hits a big flip dive to take Skipper down as well. Shane loads up a superkick to Sabin, only to have AJ springboard in with a sunset flip, only to roll through into the Styles Clash for the pin and the title shot.
Rating: C+. Nice insane X-Division match to show off what the X-Division was all about. Styles winning was pretty obvious but that doesn’t make it a bad thing. He’s one of those guys you have to showcase on the first TV show and they did a great job at it here. It’s also still weird to see Sabin as just another guy.
Sabin would get a title shot at Turning Point 2004 but lose to a pair of brass knuckles. He would fight champion Petey Williams again in a triple threat Ultimate X match the next month at Final Resolution with AJ Styles rounding out the trio.
X-Division Title: Petey Williams vs. AJ Styles vs. Chris Sabin
Williams is the longest reigning champion at this point. Basic three man match to start with no one having a long advantage. There’s just this and the world title left though so they have a ton of time. They double team Petey for a bit and Sabin hits a running dropkick in the corner. Sabin and Williams head to the floor so AJ dives on both of them to take them out. Why mess with what works?
Back into the ring and Sabin and AJ get up on the top where Sabin jumps up and dropkicks AJ into the structure. Sabin has a clear run at the belt but D’Amore pulls him down. That gets him tossed but lets Williams get the advantage due to the distraction. He sends AJ into the railing and beats up Sabin in the ring. Sharpshooter goes on Sabin so AJ climbs across the ropes, only to have Williams let Chris go and make the save. This is better than it sounds.
AJ gets put in the Tree of Woe and Petey stands on his balls so he can sing O Canada. That’s a signature spot actually despite how weird it sounds. AJ dropkicks him down and Sabin is back in now. Petey makes a run at the belt but Sabin is on AJ’s shoulders so Petey grabs a Doomsday rana to put everyone down. Everyone not named Sabin goes up and it’s time to play some chicken.
Petey wraps his legs around the ropes and Sabin pulls down AJ like an idiot. Petey can’t get the belt and falls off to put all three guys on the mat. Sabin goes up but has to snap off a rana to take AJ down. In ANOTHER awesome spot, Petey goes for the Canadian Destroyer but Sabin counters into the Cradle Shock but Petey counters into a reverse DDT but AJ hits his moonsault into a reverse DDT to Petey who reverse DDTs Sabin at the same time.
Before they have time to be sore AJ goes up and in what was a highlight reel moment for a long time, Sabin gets a dropkick to AJ’s chest to send him flipping forward and crashing down flat on his back. He jumped to do it but the bump looked great. Styles and Williams fight up the scaffold and Williams bends AJ’s arm through the scaffold which is a new move, especially when AJ HANGS BY HIS ARM. FREAKING OW MAN!
Cradle Shock puts Petey down and it’s time to go up. AJ saves into a Styles Clash attempt by Sabin pulls on the arm. AJ is like screw it and pulls him up into a powerbomb and then the Clash to put everyone down again. Styles goes for the belt but his bad arm drops him down and Petey pops up for a Destroyer to kill AJ dead.
Down goes Sabin to a tornado DDT and it’s time for the Destroyer again. That doesn’t work and a Border Toss into the buckle has Petey more or less dead again. Sabin and Williams are both up before Styles and both climb, wrapping their legs around the ropes. They get the belt down but AJ is like boys, let me show you how it’s done. He gets a springboard off the ropes and pulls it out of the air to get his fourth X Title. SWEET ending.
Rating: A. Somehow this was better than the tag title match. This should be TNA’s answer to the TLC match but they’ve managed to turn it into a throw on match. Anyway, awesome match here as they let three guys go out there and just do it which is the right thing to do. Great match and totally fun the entire time. AJ is awesome. What a shock.
Sabin was always a part of the World X Cup tournaments, often captaining Team USA. One of these matches had its finals at Sacrifice 2006.
World X Cup Final Round: Gauntlet Match
All sixteen participants in the match are in this. It’s a two minute starting period followed by one minute intervals after that. It’s over the top rope eliminations until we get down to one on one when it becomes a singles match. The teams that make it to the final match receive two points apiece and the winner of the match gets an extra three. If the two finalists are from the same team, their team receives seven points and automatically wins the tournament. In the event of a tie, the captains will face each other in a singles match….on Impact.
We start with Minoru Tanaka (Japan) and Puma (Mexico). Tanaka offers a handshake to start but as Puma shakes it, Tanaka Mists him to take over. A springboard missile dropkick puts Tanaka down and an enziguri staggers him. Tanaka gets in a suplex but covers out of instinct. #3 is Petey Williams (Canada) and he joins forces with Minoru to double team Puma. That lasts a good 20 seconds before Petey turns on Puma.
#4 is Chris Sabin (USA) and things speed up again. Sabin whips all three guys into the corner but only hits Tanaka with a forearm. A double clothesline takes the other two down and Hiroki Goto (Japan) is #5. He hits a spin kick to take down Sabin and teams up with his teammate to clean house. #6 is Incognito (Mexico) who seems to wrestle in slow motion. He knocks Petey to the floor and hits a suicide dive but neither guy went over the top so everyone is still in. Before I forget, Incognito is currently known as Hunico in WWE.
#7 is Johnny Devine (Canada) and he puts Incognito down in the corner for some running knees. #8 is Sonjay Dutt (USA) to continue the pattern the entries have taken. All eight are still in at the moment. The Americans double team Williams but Devine makes the save. And never mind as Dutt snaps off an inverted rana to send him flying. In at #9 is Black Tiger (Japan) and he runs over Dutt very quickly.
Tiger hooks an ankle lock on Williams but Devine makes the save. Magno is #10 (Mexico) and he comes in with some springboard flips. It’s impossible to tell what’s going on as there are too many people in the ring at the moment. Eric Young (Canada) is #11 as two people go through the ropes, as in not being eliminated. We get a LOUD Eric chant as we’re told that Incognito and Dutt are both out with Dutt having an injured ankle.
#12 is Alex Shelley (USA) and house is cleaned. He hits a complicated double team move on the Canadians and a spin kick Devine. Sabin and Devine go out in a big rush of offense as Liger (Japan) is #13 and the final member of Team Japan. Magno charges into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Liger and they go to the top rope. Liger gets superplexed down and Shocker (Mexico) is #14. Magno charges at someone and is backdropped out.
Black Tiger goes up top but gets powerbombed down and eliminated as we see Tyson Dux (Canada) in at #15. Dux sends Puma to the apron but he gets back in. Shelley throws out Goto and Jay Lethal (USA) is #16 and the final entrant. By my count we have eight people left: Young, Minoru, Shelley, Lethal, Puma, Dux, Liger, Shocker and Williams. Lethal dropkicks Minoru out. That leaves Japan with just Liger.
Shocker charges at Dux and gets monkey flipped to the floor. Dux and Young go at Liger and get palm strikes to the chest for their efforts. They combine to eliminate Liger, eliminating Japan entirely from the gauntlet and the competition. Lethal immediately puts Young out and we’re down to five: Dux, Lethal, Shelley, Williams and Puma. There goes Dux and we’re down to four. The Americans double team Williams but Shelley misses a charging knee to eliminate himself. Lethal goes to the apron but jumps back in, right into a spin kick from Puma to get us down to two.
Puma hits a fast brainbuster and remember that it’s now a regular one on one match. The Canadian Destroyer hits out of NOWHERE and the Canadians in the form of Williams wins, meaning it’s Williams vs. Sabin for the Cup on Impact (Sabin would win the match and the Cup).
Rating: B-. That’s as high as I can possibly go with this. The match wasn’t bad at all but it’s the walking definition of throw A LOT of stuff out there and have them do flips and dives with the hope that the crowd likes it. I don’t really know what else there is to say about this. I don’t see the need in having it go over to Impact and not ending it here, but I guess it gave them something else to do on Thursday. Not a bad match, but it was only going to be able to be so good if that makes sense.
Soon after this, Sabin would start chasing the X Title again, finally winning it in early 2007. Here’s one of this biggest title defenses, in an Xscape match at Lockdown 2007.
X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Jay Lethal vs. Alex Shelley vs. Shark Boy
Sabin is champion and this is an Xscape match, as in first one out is the winner. They tried this a bunch of times but they screwed it up by having like ten people in it. Five is about perfect. Lethal has Nash with him. The cage is kind of different as it looks like the old cage with the squares in the walls, but they’re a lot smaller. I like it. And they have to tag. What exactly are the rules for this thing? That’s not worth letting us know, because we need to talk about the main event.
Dutt and Sabin start. If I remember right, it’s elimination rules and when you get down to the final two it’s escape only. Hey I’m right. Sabin and Shelley try to cheat but Sabin has to put the brakes on. Dutt does his flips but gets placed on the top rope. Sabin sets for a superplex but Shark Boy walks the ropes and tags himself in for a three man Tower of Doom.
Sharky vs. Shelley now and a neckbreaker gets two for the fish. Hurricanrana and a missile dropkick get two. Sabin and Shelley work together a bit more but Shark Boy easily takes care of both of them. To be fair the Guns weren’t a team in TNA yet but this would be their first date for lack of a better term. Sharky tries Diamond Dust but gets caught in a reverse DDT by Shelley. A double legdrop via the Guns take care of him and we’re down to four.
Lethal is in next to a big reaction. Lethal works over Alex but Sabin interferes again and Shelley hits a top rope jawbreaker to put Lethal down. Sabin goes over and blasts Dutt for no apparent reason. Not a nice guy. Sabin vs. Lethal now with Sabin firing off a rapid fire Garvin Stomp. The Guns hit some stuff that would become signature moves over the years. The fans love Shelley.
The Guns beat on Dutt as only they can. Off to Lethal and things speed up again. He fires off a ton of rights to Sabin but the Guns are too much for him. The sequence where they get Lethal on the mat with Shelley having him in a neckbreaker position so Sabin can hit a running dropkick gets two. Dutt tries a springboard double clothesline but slips off so he hits Shelley but the wrong side of him.
Dutt hits an Asai Moonsault press but the Guns are too much for him as Shelley hits a Stunner and crossface style hold. It’s a tag match now and the non-Guns have stereo submissions on. The ASCS Rush puts Lethal down and a wicked Cradle Shock gets rid of Dutt. Lethal hits Lethal Combinations on both guys and the top rope elbow gets us down to two. Now it’s just escape. Lethal takes over and they both climb. They get on the top and both climb down but Sabin gets a kick to knock him into the cage, allowing Chris to drop to the floor to retain.
Rating: B-. This was a very solid opener with the crowd getting way into the Guns. They would officially unite by the end of the month, starting off a multi-year run which is still technically going despite injuries. Lethal would get the title during the summer, holding it for a whopping two days! The Guns would somehow not win the tag titles until 2010.
Sabin would soon hook up with Alex Shelley as the Motor City Machine Guns and take the tag divsision by storm. Their main goal was of course the Tag Titles and they would receive one of many shots at Turning Point 2009 in another three way match.
Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. British Invasion vs. Motor City Machineguns
The Brits (Williams and Magnus) have the titles here. They’re heels and Beer Money are faces….I think. They won a match on Impact to get here. No clue on the Guns but they’re faces also. Storm vs. Magnus to start as Storm jumps him to control early. Roode comes in quickly and it’s off to Shelley. Backbreaker gets two for Roode as we get the usual solid stuff from these teams.
They chop it out but Shelley hits the floor and takes Roode’s leg out. Off to Sabin who comes in with a hilo and they speed things up a bit. Williams makes a blind tag which is rather smart when you think about it. Sabin and Williams have a nice gymnastics routine (thankfully minus the tutus) and it’s off to Shelley. The Guns get to show off which they do rather well to say the least.
Sabin comes back in and the fans chant USA. I would love Beer Money to get all fired up and say they love America more than the Guns and have it fire them up. Why can only faces be patriotic? The Brits take over on Sabin but Beer Money comes in for the save. They shout their representative names in the title of their team, only for the Guns to get a blind tag of their own.
We get a bad oral sex joke with the Brits as this breaks down just for a bit. The Guns take over and everyone beats on Magnus. Williams tries a backslide on Sabin but Shelly gets a superkick to break it up. Sliced Bread (I love that name) can’t connect as Shelly is caught in a nice superkick (why does EVERYONE use that move anymore) German suplex combo. Take that USA fans!
Beer Money takes over on the Brits now as they might as well put up a big sign saying BRITS WILL RETAIN. Maybe I’m jaded but as soon as they get beaten down this much it’s clear they’re going to get the come from behind win. And as I say that, here’s Eric Young, the leader of World Elite of which the Brits are members. Storm chases him off and Kevin Nash of all people comes out to stop Young. Ah apparently he wants the Global (now TV) Title back. Nash takes it….and hits Storm to join World Elite. In the ring a Hart Attack with a jumping back elbow instead of a clothesline and off the top ends this.
Rating: C-. Match wasn’t bad but at the same time it was kind of a mess at times. The Nash turn came off as unnecessary to put it mildly as it really didn’t add anything to the match and felt like the whole point of things rather than the match itself, as the point is supposed to be. Not bad, but a bit too sloppy for my tastes.
The Guns would keep getting closer and close to the belts over the years. They would also develop a major rivalry with Beer Money, culminating with a match for the vacant Tag Team Titles at Victory Road 2010.
Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns
Ok so the Guns more or less have to win here. I like the Guns’ music. Storm and Shelley start us off. They’re doing a slow build to start us off as Taz says the Guns are the best team from their city, including the Tigers. Uh, deep? We get a Mel Torme reference of all things as we’re talking about tap dancing. Beer Money takes over and after a double vertical suplex they do their thing.
Shelley is getting beaten on. This is a good match so far so it’s hard to make jokes. Well other than Taz and Tenay who are always jokes. Ah there’s Sabin. I like him better than Shelley I think. We crank it up a bit and Sabin hits a running punt on Storm while he’s on the apron and Storm is on the floor. The crowd is getting back into it a bit too. Eye of the Storm gets two on Sabin.
I’m sorry for the excessive play by play here but that’s the main thing going on here. That made less than no sense but just go with it. We’ve lost any resemblance of a tag match here as it’s just all insanity. Maybe Heyman is booking the company. Everything just goes insane and this is awesome for once. The Guns dominate as Storm has a beer bottle. The referee gets beer spit in his face as the Guns hit a combination splash/neckbreaker on Roode for two.
There’s another referee here now and I have a bad feeling about this. It’s ALL Guns here as we’re going fast paced here. They hit their kick combination and cover Roode as Storm rolls Sabin up. The referees count a double pin and it’s Dusty Finish time. Earl, not the original referee, says restart it. The Guns win in like a minute with the same thing they did earlier, making the restart TOTALLY POINTLESS. Very good match though so I can’t complain much.
Rating: A-. This was a VERY good match. The main thing holding it back is the restart which was the walking definition of overbooking. What in the world is that supposed to help? Whatever it was I certainly don’t get it. The Guns are the champions, albeit nearly three years later. Still though, if they’re going to win them, at least win them in a classic I guess. Very good match all the way through. Loved it.
The rivalry with Beer Money wasn’t over though as the teams entered into a best of five series for the titles. Naturally the teams split the first four matches, setting up a showdown over the belts at the Whole F’N Show on August 12, 2010.
Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns
This is 2/3 falls. I’ll give TNA this: when they find something that works, they RUN with it. Shelley and Roode start us off and the crowd is WAY behind Shelley. The Guns do their usual insane speed stuff which is always cool looking. Roode does the old classic heel tactic of slapping his hands to convince the ref that there was a tag. It doesn’t work but it’s always awesome.
Sabin breaks through the endless domination of the heels as the fans are just getting irritating. NICE (I think) double team spot from the Guns as we get a downward spiral combined with a DDT and a missile dropkick. Roode takes Sabin’s head off with a big boot and the Guns clear the ring. Back in the ring a Backstabber sets up DWI on Shelley to make it 1-0 Beer Money.
Never a fan of challengers getting clean pins in the first fall of a 2/3 match. It makes the champions look like they lost completely clean. Nice double dropkick by Sabin to clean house again. The splash/neckbreaker ties it up after about two minutes. That move needs a name.
Roode does a HUGE dive over the ropes which they screw up by changing the camera at the last second. After a break it’s more even fighting. This has been a great match. Sabin hits a springboard DDT on Roode which I loved. Granted that might be because the DDT is my favorite move. Both teams hit a sweet double team sequence.
Sliced Bread #2 is countered as is DWI. Last Call superkick ends Roode and the double team combo DOESN’T get the pin on Storm. I would have bet on that ending it. Another one does in fact end it though, which is a bit anticlimactic but still, GREAT match here, although just a step behind the initial win at the PPV. Still though, great match.
Rating: A. This was indeed a great match but it makes me wonder where they’re going to go now that these two have fought so many times now. This is more about a back and forth insanity pitch rather than psychology or storytelling and that’s fine a lot of the time, especially in tags. This was very entertaining and the false finish was great for drama. These two teams have insane chemistry and this was no exception at all. Great match and well worth finding, although most of their matches are.
Unfortunately that’s about it for Sabin for nearly two years as he would tear his ACL twice in a row, putting him out for most of 2011, most of 2012 and part of 2013. Sabin would come back in May and win the X Title again, only to cash it in for a shot at Bully Ray and the World Heavyweight Title at Destination X 2013.
TNA World Title: Chris Sabin vs. Bully Ray
After the big match intros Ray gets right in Sabin’s face and talks trash but Sabin doesn’t blink. Ray goes to the corner but Sabin gets right in Ray’s face and says he’s going to win the title. Ray shoves him down and we’re ready to go. The champ grabs the leg to start as the fans are entirely behind Sabin. Chris fires off some kicks to the ribs and no sells a chop to the chest. Another chop sends Chris back but a third fires him up.
Ray offers him a fres kick to the ribs before chipping the tar off his skin. Sabin’s chest is BLOOD red but says bring it on. Now it’s Sabin firing off strikes to the face and chest before pounding away in the corner, only to have Ray go after the knee. Here are the Aces for backup as Sabin is laid out on the stage. Cue the Mafia who are somehow free as we take a break.
Back with Ray working over the leg and yelling at Rampage Jackson. It’s basically a lumberjack match now with the Mafia running interference when the Aces try to get involved. Ray hooks a leg lock and kicks at Sabin’s back while unhooking Sabin’s boot. A chop stops Sabin’s comeback bid and there goes the knee pad as well. Ray hits a Hennig neck snap on the leg and talks a lot of trash. Now he yells at the Mafia but stops to kick Sabin’s knee again.
Ray mocks Hogan’s hand to the ear which is always good for some heel heat. He pounds on the knee even more as the methodical offense continues. A chop to a downed Sabin makes him scream and Ray thinks he should take off the other knee brace. Ray whips him across the ring but Sabin collapses halfway there.
Instead he drills Sabin with a superplex for two but Chris fights back. He somehow gets up top for a missile dropkick but the referee goes gets bumped. Anderson tries to come in but the Mafia is there to stop the bikers. Ray got a hammer in there somehow but Sabin kicks him down. Everyone else is gone and Sabin blasts Ray in the head with the hammer for the pin and the title at 18:40.
Rating: B. This was all about the drama but the action was pretty solid as well. The ending really did surprise me which isn’t something that happens all that often anymore. There’s no way Sabin is going to be a long term champion due to his knee injuries but it’s still an awesome moment which is exactly what they were shooting for. It’s not like Ray was doing exceptional business or anything anyway. Ray being overconfident here was a fine story and it’s the perfect way to get the fans to go nuts. Well done stuff here.
Overall Sabin is a guy who has shown a lot of talent throughout his career. He’s a step above most of the other X-Division guys and holds the record for most X-Division Title reigns with (as of February 2014) eight. Sabin’s world title run didn’t last long, but it’s cool to see a guy work his way up the card and get to the top of the company like he did.
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On This Day: October 16, 2004 – Joe vs. Punk II: Shades of Wrestlemania XII
Joe vs. Punk II
Date: October 16, 2004
Location: Frontier Fieldhouse, Chicago Ridge, Illinois
Attendance: 700
Commentators: Jimmy Ballard, Mark Nultey
I don’t usually do ROH but this was a request. The main event of this show should be obvious. Joe is champion and this is Punk’s rematch after a time limit draw in their first match. We’re in Punk’s hometown so expect the crowd to be rabid. The whole show is about that match and it’s about 1/3 of the show so I wouldn’t expect the rest of the matches to mean much. Let’s get to it.
Punk talks about how his first match with Joe was a draw and the monster known as Joe couldn’t stop him. He talks about growing up in Chicago and fighting every day when he was a kid, even when the bullies would come to his house and he’d be the one left standing at the end. This is his home and with everyone looking, he’s going to be ready in his home town.
Generation Next (heel stable) talks about how Ricky Steamboat cost them their match last night against the Second City Saints (Punk’s team). Austin Aries, part of the team, isn’t here tonight because of the beating last night. Oh that’s Alex Shelley talking. He has an I Quit match with Jimmy Jacobs tonight. The other two guys are Jack Evans and Roderick Strong and tonight they team up to face the Rottweilers (Homicide/Rocky Romero).
Davey Andrews vs. TJ Dalton
No idea who either are but from what I can find, neither have wrestled for any company of note in over four years. Andrews was in ROH for awhile and Dalton was in OVW for awhile. Yeah that’s all I’ve got. And never mind as two other guys run in and beat them both down about 20 seconds after the bell.
Their names are the Carnage Crew and their names are Tony DeVito and HC Loc. They yell about Mick Foley and how they’re hardcore. I’m guessing this is leading to something later.
Delirious vs. Jay Lethal
Lethal is 19 here and is VERY young looking, probably because he is young. Delirious starts off with his usual insane stuff. Wait. DELIRIOUS WAS THE LIZARD MAN??? I heard about this for years about how ROH had a lizard man and it was Delirious? I’ve wondered who that was for years. Delirious hasn’t won a singles match yet so this is a big deal for him. Lethal takes him to the corner but is knocked off and takes a rana for two.
They exchange forearms which is a required sequence in ROH. There are the chops and the WOOs. Out to the floor and it’s kind of cool to see them using handheld cameras. Delirious hits a front flip dive to the floor to take Lethal down again. Lethal reverses a rollup for two. Delirious shouts a lot but gets caught in a neckbreaker but catches Lethal coming off the top in a Cutter. That’s not worthy of a pin though. Well to be fair Delirious is supposed to be insane. Shadows Over Hell (splash to the back and not called that yet) gets two. Delirious yells some more and gets caught in a dragon (full nelson) suplex for the pin.
Rating: C-. There wasn’t much of a point to it but for the opener this was fine. Lethal would get a lot better and Delirious would get a lot funnier so this is one of those matches that would be much better about 3 years later. Nothing great here but they were trying and for guys who didn’t have much experience, this worked well enough. Just not that interesting though.
Joe says tonight we’ve got a sixty minute match and all Punk has proven is that he can’t beat Joe. Tonight, Punk will fail again.
At this point on the card there’s a match listed as Dixie vs. Matt Stryker (not that one) but there’s no mention of it here. Maybe it’s coming later.
Tracy Brooks vs. Daizee Haze
Brooks you know from TNA and Haze is currently too skinny to wrestle for awhile. They haven’t had much women’s wrestling lately since Alexis Laree left (more famous as Mickie James). They do some basic stuff as the announcers point out that they can be just as good as the men. A forearm gets two for Haze as does a missile dropkick. In a weird ending, Haze tries forever to get a Stunner and finally hooks it but Brooks totally no sells it and hits a clothesline for the pin.
Rating: D-. And no that’s not because they’re girls. It’s because this match was really boring and the ending was awful. It’s like they were supposed to be having a big match and in short, they didn’t. There was nothing here that was interesting and there was nothing that made me think this was better than the Divas or what would become the Knockouts. The ending was as awkward as I’ve seen in a very long time.
Angel Dust vs. Matt Sydal vs. Josh Daniels vs. Trent Acid
Daniels is some indy guy that I’ve heard of and that’s about it. Angel Dust is an indy guy known as Azrieal and had a one off appearance in the X-Division Showcase on Impact as Federico Palacios. Acid is an indy guy that died last year and Sydal is Evan Bourne and a heel here. This is called a survival match but it’s one fall to a finish. Ok then. Acid is in the shirt, Dust is in the bandana and Daniels has the gold/yellow trim. Got it.
Dust is part of a team called Special K which I believe was a bunch of drug addicts. This is a fast paced match but Dust loses a headlock for a second on Sydal in a bit of a botch. Acid sends Sydal (who I might call Bourne) to the floor and it’s off to Daniels. I think if you go to the floor it’s the same as a tag. Daniels sets for a dive but runs into a forearm from Acid. Dust tries a huge moonsault to the floor but misses everything.
The announcers have no idea who is legal here. Everyone is back in now and it’s a big brawl still. A Blue Thunder Bomb gets two for Acid. I think it’s Daniels vs. Acid who are legal but Dust tags himself in. Daniels is like cool man and fires off some kicks. Sydal comes in out of nowhere and tries a shooting star but lands on his feet. Everything breaks down and Acid hits a reverse inverted DDT on Sydal but Daniels hits a German on Dust and they’re legal so Daniels gets the win.
Rating: C. Fun match but it was totally insane. The fans liked Acid the best and were MAD when he lost. Still though, this one got too insane and it was hard to tell what was going on at all by the end of it. That can get very annoying and it did so here. Not a horrible match or anything but it was too big of a mess to make much sense.
Chad Collyer/Nigel McGuinnes vs. BJ Whitmer/Dan Maff
Collyer/Nigel have Ricky Steamboat with them while Whitmer/Maff have Mick Foley. It’s the whole wrestling vs. hardcore jazz. Steamboat and Foley started to hook up in WCW but I guess they figured that one of the best heels vs. one of the best faces would make too much sense and therefore money so they bailed on it immediately. Steamboat asks the four wrestlers to get on the floor because he wants to talk to Foley.
The audio here is AWFUL and I had no idea what Steamboat was talking about for part of it. Ok now I can a bit. The fans are saying speak up. Last night Foley issued a challenge for this tag match and Steamboat says it’s not about skill but it’s about the style the guys use. Steamboat calls it garbage wrestling because you use things like garbage cans in it. “In fact Mick I got an e-mail today from the Chicago sanitation department that says when your next novel fails they have a job for you cleaning up the garbage.” BURN.
Foley gets on the mic and makes fun of Steamboat for being too serious and not an entertaining talker. Foley talks about Steamboat winning the title in 1989 right here in Chicago from Ric Flair (Chi-Town Rumble, well worth checking out). Steamboat may be the greatest pure wrestler of all time. I’m not sure “may be” is needed here. However, saying someone is the greatest pure wrestler of all time “is like saying someone is the greatest softcore adult actor of all time.”
Foley defends hardcore wrestling because it’s about toughness and giving it all you have. He wants to know how long Steamboat plans to ride Flair’s coattails (even though Flair is a washed up loser). The fans are split here. Steamboat comes back with I know Flair, I’ve worked with Flair and you Mick Foley are no Ric Flair. Foley blasts Flair, saying he has a banana nose, orange teeth and looks like Barbara Bush in drag.
Steamboat says those were funny when Funk said them 20 years ago. Foley comes up with some new ones, like Flair says the same things time after time and carries Batista’s bags and sucked up to HHH. Oh and Flair has botox. This is HILARIOUS. Here’s the real burn: “I’m no Ric Flair because I knew when my time was done, I stepped aside for the sake of younger guys.” Bear in mind that about three and a half years later Foley won the TNA World Title, although TNA was still pretty awesome at this point.
Oh hey we have a match to get to. Everyone shakes hands pre match. Ok so it’s Nigel vs. Whitmer to get us going. We go over who has the best trainer in this and Maff is kind of left out in the cold. This is under pure rules, which is an overly complicated system that means you have a limited amount of rope breaks and no punches. Off to Maff as the pure guys are dominating with a lot of arm drags in a nice touch. And here are the Carnage Crew to jump Foley and a brawl breaks out. Not long enough to grade but it was pretty basic up to this point.
Steamboat goes off on the Carnage Crew for ruining the match and even calls them a bunch of dickheads. Announcer: “STEAMBOAT SAID DICKHEADS!!!!!”
Ok so now the match is starting again but it’s under hardcore rules. Well sure why not? It’s a bit brawl to start and once they’re on the floor Foley drills McGuinness with the mic. They’re into the crowd already. The Crew is gone. Maff cracks a water bottle over the head of Collyer and McGuinness gets taken down by a chair. Ok so now we’re into the ring and there are a few chairs involved. This is a total brawl and Steamboat is back now. Ok he wants it to be pure wrestling again. McGuinness gets all technical and such and gets a slick rollup on Whitmer for the pin.
Rating: C+. That’s for the whole thing. Steamboat and Foley were by far the best things about this but I don’t think that surprises anyone. The idea of mixing both styles was interesting but it needed more than it had here. The main conclusion I can draw from this though: MAN WCW was stupid for not following up on Steamboat vs. Foley in 92.
Steamboat rubs in the win post match.
Acid yells at Dave Prazak because he had a pin and says he feels like an outcast here.
TJ Dalton/Davey Andrews vs. Caranage Crew
Nice to see them following up on the angle from earlier in the show. The non-regular tag team takes over early with some nice double team stuff. And never mind as Dalton gets caught in a Doomsday Device as we finally get into a regular match. The Crew settles into rhythm and beats the tar out of Dalton. Andrews comes in and fights back. He’s one of the first graduates of the ROH Wrestling Academy. Not that it matters as the Crew hits a bunch of violent double team moves, finally killing Andrews with a double team middle rope piledriver. Total squash.
Rottweilers vs. Generation Next
This is heel vs. heel. It’s a big brawl to start which leaves us with Homicide vs. Evans and you know Evans is going to start diving. Romero and Stong have a fast sequence in the ring and everything breaks down quickly. Ok so now we’re into an actual tag match, in this case Strong vs. Romero. Romero is half of the tag champions but his partner (Ricky Reyes) isn’t here tonight.
Strong finally shoves Homicide into the corner and brings in Evans to a moderate pop. Generation Next (I keep wanting to say Gen Me) double teams a lot and gets two off a double team splash in the corner. Middle rope elbow gets two for Strong. Strong Hold (Boston Crab) goes on but Strong walks to the corner on his own for some reason. Weird.
Homicide grabs a DDT on Evans to take over and bring Romero back in. Camel clutch goes on but Strong comes in and chops the back of Romero’s neck HARD. See that’s how you break something up: in a surprise and with something other than a weak stomp. The Rottweilers keep hammering away and Evans is such a tiny man that it works more effectively than it normally would.
An Alabama Slam into a slingshot into a backbreaker into a double stomp (there was some double teaming in there too) has Evans in trouble. A reverse double gorilla press sends him flying over the top and onto Strong. Evans finally avoids a swan dive and makes the tag to bring in Strong. Here’s some double teaming with flips but since this is an indy company the selling lasts all of 8 seconds.
A Steiner Bulldog gets no cover for the dog enthusiasts. Evans comes in via a springboard kick where the springboard and spinning weren’t needed at all. Everything breaks down and Homicide hits a piledriver for no cover on Strong. Homicide kills (get it?) Evans but he’s not legal. This is one of those matches where there’s too much going on to keep track of. A top rope splash gets two on Strong. Strong fights back and takes out both Rottweilers with a Razor’s Edge into a Diamond Cutter which lets Evans hit a 630 for the pin.
Rating: C+. Fun stuff here and Generation Next would become a huge force in the company in the next year or so with Aries winning the title soon after this, I think in December. I’m not a fan of this style as the lack of a story and the total lack of selling hurts it a lot. Either way, I like Strong and him being on the winning team helps somewhat. Not exactly bad but I couldn’t get into it.
The Rottweilers want to shake hands post match and yeah they beat up Generation Next because they’re idiots. Romero grants them a title shot post match.
Jimmy Jacobs vs. Alex Shelley
This is an I Quit match. Oh and for all the people that said Ryder was original for the one long leg and one short leg in the tights, Jacobs has him beaten here by about 3 years. They slug it out and then head to the floor quickly with Jacobs hitting a rana off the apron. Shelley tries to throw him back in and takes another rana for his efforts. Jacobs chokes Shelley with a chair but takes a spinning downward spiral into the barricade instead.
Shelley takes over and works over the neck of Jacobs because….well I guess he has to work on something. Oh ok these two are former partners. See how easy it is to explain that? “Jacobs has frustrated Shelley ever since this team split up.” See it’s not hard. Back in the ring now and it’s almost all Alex. Jacobs manages a clothesline and Shelley’s head is rammed into the chair on the mat. That looked good. Or bad. I wonder which one it is.
Jacobs pulls a spike out of his boot which would become one of his trademarks later in his career. Shelley gets it away and rams it upside Jacobs head. “That thing has got to be 12 inches long!” That’s what she said? Now the spike is driven into Jacobs’ head and he’s busted. A tombstone onto a chair half kills Jacobs but he won’t quit. Here’s a kendo stick which always makes me think of the things they put newspapers on at the library.
Shelley uses duct tape and ties Jacobs to the top rope with his back exposed. LET THE BONDAGE AND TORTURE PLAY BEGIN!!! Jacobs gets a low blow in and gets his feet up to his hands where he pulls another spike out to cut himself free. Announcer: “How many spikes can you have in a pair of furry boots?” Jacobs gets the stick and wears Shelley out with it and chokes away. A senton misses and Shelley beats him back and forth with the spike and stick.
Off to something like half of a Regal Stretch minus the leg trap and Jacobs is out cold. His hand only drops twice though and Jacobs fights out again. Something like a Killswitch puts Shelley down but Jacobs is spent. The senton (the backsplash, not the bomb) hits this time and he wears Shelley out with the stick and puts the same hold on Shelley. Jacobs takes forever to set up a pair of chairs with a third bridged over it. And of course he winds up going through it himself in a brainbuster and then back to the Stretch. Jacobs shouts he’s better than Shelley but gives up.
Rating: B. Pretty good and violent match here. When these kind of matches are on they can be very on and this one worked pretty well. Shelley is a guy that can be interesting when you let him do something other than being half of the Machineguns. Jacobs would become a very interesting character who was mentally tortured by a lot of things. Cool match here.
Shelley goes off on Jacobs post match and Strong comes in to help with the beatdown. Steamboat comes out for the save. The Carnage Crew comes out and beats Steamboat down but finally Maff/Whitmer/Foley come out for the save.
ROH World Title: Samoa Joe vs. CM Punk
Punk is blonde here. The fans are split as Joe is the most popular guy in the company but it’s Punk’s hometown. They shake hands and here we go. It’s weird to see Joe using power moves. The idea is that Joe proved he could go long distances and now Punk needs another idea to fight Joe. Feeling out process to start with not much of note going on so far. They go into the corner and Joe breaks clean to tick off the crowd.
Joe hooks a hammerlock and into an armbar. Punk takes him to the corner and it’s another clean break, almost shocking everyone. Punk cartwheels out of a wristlock and Joe is like boy please and takes him down into a camel clutch. Man and he cranks on that thing. He’s channeling his inner humbler. Punk rolls out into a headlock which he used a lot in the first match. They have a ton of time to work with here so this is fine.
In a nice looking move, Joe has Punk in a Pedigree position but they’re on the mat and it’s a submission hold. I like the plug from the commentator as he talks about the shopping site where there are DVDs and all that jazz. That’s all normal and fine but at the end of it he says “Ok we got that out of the way. It’s important but I want to get back to the match.” I don’t know why but I found that really refreshing.
This has been almost all on the mat or in a technical style and I’m digging it. Punk has used a bunch of headlocks here but the idea is he used that in the first match to wear Joe down and had success with it. That’s some higher level psychology and the announcers did their part by explaining it in like two sentences. See it’s not hard. Even a belly to back suplex can’t get the hold broken.
They exchange shoulder blocks and Punk is getting fired up. We hit the strikes and Punk speeds things WAY up, grabbing a rollup and Joe bails for a bit which stuns the announcers. Back to the mat game and man are they fast down there. After Punk chills for a bit on the floor he tries a test of strength because….uh…..why would you try that against Joe? They fire off chops in the corner and while it’s not exactly Flair vs. Steamboat it’s not bad.
They go to the corner now and Punk walks the ropes to start in on the arm. Joe’s arm gets worked on for a long while and now it’s back to the headlock. This has been going on about half an hour now and it’s pretty solid stuff, almost like a chess match. Out to the floor and of course Punk is in over his head out there. Joe is a big power brawler to go with his submission stuff here so he was really more like Benoit actually.
Over to the corner and Joe fires off some face washes but Punk avoids the running boot. Now Punk washes Joe’s face in the other corner. Nice little touch there. Foley is watching from the crowd. Thankfully they don’t cut to him and miss part of the match. A driving knee from the top (knee on the back of Joe’s head and Punk drove him down) gets two. Joe grabs a very modified STF out of nowhere and DANG. They were up on their knees but then Joe bent him back so that Punk was laying on his back but his legs were underneath him. FREAKING OW MAN!!!
Punk goes up but Joe just walks away like only he does. I love that realism thing. Delayed vertical suplex (about twenty seconds) gets two for Joe. Punk goes for the arm but Joe cuts the knees out and hooks a Boston Crab. Joe fires off a bunch of kicks to the head but Punk fires off some forearms. Joe is like whatever and pops him in the face for two. This time Joe gets the Facewashes and the running boot.
Punk finally gets a boot up in the corner and then a rana to the floor. A suicide dive puts both guys down and Punk gets control back. Punk, ever the jerk, hits Joe’s Ole Kick on the floor. He tries another rana off the apron but Joe catches him in a powerbomb position and spins Punk around into the barricade. Now Joe fires off the Ole but Punk blocks. They slug it out on the floor and this time the Ole hits.
After a quick skirmish in the ring they go back to the floor…..and the announcers walk off. They say they want to watch it as fans and say the match speaks for itself. Joe gets a DDT onto the apron and I’m assuming the fanboy announcers are pleased with that. Were they paying them by the hour and run out of money or something? Back in and a spear gets a very fast two.
We’re at 45 minutes. A top rope splash misses for the fat man and they do the slugging it out from their knees spot. A snap powerslam gets two for Joe and it’s off to a cross armbreaker. Punk just can’t get away from that, even today. A big boot gets two for Punk. There’s someone at ringside but since the announcers ran out for guacamole and gram crackers, we’re on our own as to who he is.
Punk gets a tornado DDT and the Anaconda Vice which he lets go for no apparent reason. Joe takes over with a clothesline and follows it up with a pair of busters (gut and brain) for two each. Joe does his powerbomb into a crab into the STF into the crossface sequence. Sunset flip gets two for Punk as does a kick to the head. They do the whole exchange submission finishers and Punk winds up putting the Clutch on Joe.
That gets him nowhere and a double clothesline puts them both down. Two Pepsi Plunges are blocked into a superplex by Joe for a delayed two. Joe sets for the MuscleBuster but Punk goes insane pounding on Joe’s back to break it up. Another Plunge is attempted but Joe counters into the MuscleBuster….and that’s the time limit as Punk is out cold. Uh…shouldn’t the match end with Joe out cold and Punk needing 5 more seconds to win the title?
Rating: B. It’s good, but the feeling I got here was “we have to have a classic”, not “this was a classic”. The first 15 minutes of this were all about the headlock and wearing Joe down and all that jazz, but it never went anywhere after that. The last half an hour or so didn’t really have much drama for my taste.
The problem was they were going for regular moves instead of trying to finish. The problem with that is that you have Joe and Punk who have already gone an hour before and you know that’s not going to finish either guy. This was reminiscent of Hart vs. Michaels, where a lot could have been condensed and the match would have improved a lot. It’s still good, but it’s not the epic classic that it’s supposed to be.
They shake hands post match.
Punk is sure he can beat Joe but he’s not sure if Joe can beat him. Punk wants a no time limit match. That match would happen and Joe would win.
Joe says that was your second and last chance. The job was to beat him, not survive him. He’s right.
Overall Rating: B-. The show is good but other than the last two matches there’s not much to see here from a wrestling standpoint. Steamboat and Foley are great and the Flair jokes are hilarious. I know someone is going to rip me for the Joe vs. Punk stuff and I have a feeling I know who it’s going to be. It’s good, but it’s not the classic it’s said to be and I’m sure the ROH bots are going to explain to me why I don’t get it and I don’t know real wrestling. Let’s get it over with.
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Impact – August 12, 2010 – The Whole F’N Show
Impact
Date: August 12, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: The Whole F’N Show
This is the PPV caliber show, since they NEVER have PPV style matches on TV. Nope, not TNA. I guess this is supposed to be like their Clash of the Champions or whatever. The ratings here should be most interesting. Hopefully there are no ECW guys tonight and remember: NO TALKING ALL NIGHT. Any bets on that one?
AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle
If Angle loses he retires. AJ has a tattoo on his side which looks weird but it has his initials and his kids’ birthdays so I can live with that. Angle gets a SWEET suplex on the floor. This is non-title which just about gives away the ending as well as you could want it to. AJ is freaking awesome to watch, which is what irritates me about the whole Flair tribute thing. There’s no need to add that in with his great stuff.
AJ does all of his usual stuff but can’t get the pin. He hits the forearm and the Pele but none of them work. This isn’t Angle’s usual formula yet but of course it’s good given who is out there. AJ avoids the running belly to belly but Angle hits a middle rope moonsault press which was NICE.
Ankle lock goes on and from that angle Kurt looks FAT! AJ misses his moonsault DDT thing which he hasn’t busted out in years but the recovery was fine. Angle Slam gets two as this is a very fast paced match. Angle blocks the low blow into the ankle lock with the grapevine for the tap. Nice match but they needed more time, as in like twice the time.
Rating: B. Solid match here but with more time, as in like ten more minutes, this could have been a classic. They were WORKING out there though and everything flowed quite well. These two have mad chemistry together and it’s clear why they get put on TV so often. I can live with the TV Champion losing, but I still see little reason to not make this a title match since the career thing is only for the top ten guys.
Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne
Now, can we break the streak of title changes without an actual pin? How are we supposed to take this division seriously with the commentary the way it is? Naturally a lot of the moves from Madison are shall we say suggestive? And make sure you get the back shots. Love kills her with a bunch of stuff and here’s the motorcycle chick.
The crowd chants Tara as they know what’s coming. Skye pops up from behind and DRILLS her with a chair. The helmet comes off and she’s wearing a mask underneath. It comes half off but all we see is a mouth. Back in the ring Lights Out ends this and Love is a five time champion.
Rating: D. Crap match but did you expect anything else? Love looked like Mr. Perfect with the outfit and that was more or less the high point. This whole biker thing is going on to not make it look like Tara just returned a week later which is stupid since clearly the crowd knows who she is. This was a really short match but it did the job….whatever that was supposed to be.
Mr. Anderson vs. D’Angelo Dinero vs. Matt Morgan
Anderson is the only one to get a TV intro. The faces go after Morgan which doesn’t work at all naturally as they wind up fighting over it. The rankings will be announced next week due to….something. Anderson with a Thesz Press as Morgan sits on the floor and lets them fight, which isn’t a bad idea at all. Mic Check to Dinero and Morgan slides in for the save and to steal the pin. I’m not sure if this was longer than the women’s match or not.
Rating: D+. Better than the previous one but more disappointing at the same time. This has been built up for weeks and technically months and it gets four minutes? This could have been much better than it came off as which is never a good sign. It’s ok but it’s just ok, which is never a good thing given what they could have likely done with more time. Imagine that: TNA needing more time for their wrestling.
Jeff Hardy vs. ???
I’ve heard that this is supposed to be a debut and that this isn’t a debut. If it’s a debut, the common guess would be Helms, which would be somewhat exciting. And it’s Shannon Moore.
Jeff Hardy vs. Shannon Moore
When will wrestling companies get that no one cares about Moore? Why does this guy keep getting a job? They’re brothers apparently, or at least that’s what Shannon says. No reason why but whatever. We’re told they’re friends which is news to about 90% of the wrestling audience but whatever. Jeff keeps running into the corners after Shannon and ramming into the buckle like an idiot in a bad comedy movie.
Moore dominates for the most part until Hardy realizes he’s a three time world champion and Shannon Moore is Shannon Moore. A name change might help him a lot actually. Twist of Fate sets up the Swanton into the knees. Shannon gets shoved off the ropes and lands in perfect position for the Swanton and the pin.
Rating: C. Better than I expected here, but again I ask: Shannon Moore? Is that the best they can come up with? Wrestling companies have tried to push this guy for years and it hasn’t worked so why do they keep trying it? This didn’t work back in the days of the WWF and it’s not working here. Anyway, this was an ok match but really nothing special at all. And remember, this is PPV quality baby!
Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns
This is 2/3 falls. I’ll give TNA this: when they find something that works, they RUN with it. Shelley and Roode start us off and the crowd is WAY behind Shelley. The Guns do their usual insane speed stuff which is always cool looking. Roode does the old classic heel tactic of slapping his hands to convince the ref that there was a tag. It doesn’t work but it’s always awesome.
Sabin breaks through the endless domination of the heels as the fans are just getting irritating. NICE (I think) double team spot from the Guns as we get a downward spiral combined with a DDT and a missile dropkick. Roode takes Sabin’s head off with a big boot and the Guns clear the ring. Back in the ring a Backstabber sets up DWI on Shelley to make it 1-0 Beer Money.
Never a fan of challengers getting clean pins in the first fall of a 2/3 match. It makes the champions look like they lost completely clean. Nice double dropkick by Sabin to clean house again. The splash/neckbreaker ties it up after about two minutes. That move needs a name.
Roode does a HUGE dive over the ropes which they screw up by changing the camera at the last second. After a break it’s more even fighting. This has been a great match. Sabin hits a springboard DDT on Roode which I loved. Granted that might be because the DDT is my favorite move. Both teams hit a sweet double team sequence.
Sliced Bread #2 is countered as is DWI. Last Call superkick ends Roode and the double team combo DOESN’T get the pin on Storm. I would have bet on that ending it. Another one does in fact end it though, which is a bit anticlimactic but still, GREAT match here, although just a step behind the initial win at the PPV. Still though, great match.
Rating: A. This was indeed a great match but it makes me wonder where they’re going to go now that these two have fought so many times now. This is more about a back and forth insanity pitch rather than psychology or storytelling and that’s fine a lot of the time, especially in tags. This was very entertaining and the false finish was great for drama. These two teams have insane chemistry and this was no exception at all. Great match and well worth finding, although most of their matches are.
TNA World Title: Abyss vs. Rob Van Dam
Janice, the board with nails in it, is above the ring and can be used as a weapon, which of course it won’t be. You win by pinfall. Eric Bischoff is the referee for no apparent reason. I mean that literally: no one can come up with a reason for him to be out there. Abyss goes up the ladder as RVD is coming to the ring but gets caught. That was very smart.
Rolling Thunder misses and RVD hits the ladder. After a break Abyss misses a chokeslam onto the ladder. They do the run up the ladder as a ramp spot which is ok. This is about 5 minutes into it not counting the commercial and it’s 10:33. This is going to be a long match or the announcement is going to take forever.
This is a pretty standard ladder based match but it’s not bad. The pinfall being the way to win makes Abyss a much bigger threat here which is very smart thinking. There are the thumbtacks of course since those are perfectly normal in a match like this. Let’s pour some glass on top of that too. Abyss of course lands on them since he has the shirt on which telegraphs it completely. His leg landed on them but whatever.
Barbed wire board is brought in and of course Van Dam puts Abyss into it plus a few more spots which look cool if nothing else. Van Dam gets his hand on the board and they botch a spot as he gets shoved off and BANGS HIS FACE on a ladder that is set up like a bridge between the ring and the barrier. Holy crap that looked terrible. Abyss gets the board.
Naturally he puts it down to punch RVD a bit. For like the third time it gets stuck in the buckle. RVD looks ok and at least his face is still in one piece. He gets some chair shots in and then the Van Terminator into the barbed wire board into Abyss and the Five Star eventually gets the pin. Solid fun match but again I ask: WHY WAS BISCHOFF THE REFEREE?
Rating: B. Solid hardcore style match. The nail board of course meant nothing at all as you would expect. This was a fun main event, although I really wonder where they’re going with Van Dam now as he’s beaten EVERYONE now. I get that they wanted to make him dominant, but the smart move here was to put the title on Abyss, which they passed on so there we are.
Hogan comes down and we go to a break. RVD is still here and Hogan talks, since there can’t be any talking right? Hogan declares that TNA is the top wrestling company in the world and that Hardcore Justice set the bar. He brings out the ECW guys, or at least the main ones. Even Sabu is here.
Hogan says he gives them the ring in a show of respect. There are like 10 or more guys in there. Dreamer is the mouthpiece and thanks everyone. RVD kisses him on the cheek and the lights go out. And here’s Fourtune plus Williams and Morgan. Raven and Sandman come out to even the odds as it’s a massive beatdown.
Abyss comes back and beats up Van Dam some more. Flair comes out as the fans cheer this. In the back Van Dam is covered in blood and Abyss holds up Janice. Flair yells at Dixie, saying she caused this, as we end it.
Overall Rating: A. This was a GREAT show. Everything hit on almost all cylinders although the Hardy/Moore match and the triple threat left a bit to be desired. This was a very fun show though and I had a good time watching it. I’m skeptical about how it’s going to go after this week though as they’re banking everything on this one big angle and if it doesn’t work, they’re in trouble. We’ll see though, and we get a good show here so that’s a success if nothing else. Worth seeing for sure.