Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXXIII (Original): Let It Be Over

Wrestlemania XXXIII
Date: April 2, 2017
Location: Camping World Stadium, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 75,245
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips
America the Beautiful: Tinashe

I was in the stadium for the show so this is my second time seeing it. My seat was in the upper deck and I had the hard cameras opposite me with the set (amazing visual which looked even better at night) on my right, basically in line with the upper right hand corner of the ring. This presented a bit of an issue as you could see two of the screens above the ring, meaning I was looking at most of one screen and the right side of another. In other words, when New Day was out for example and standing Woods, Big E. and Kofi, I was seeing Kofi, Woods, Big E., and Kofi again. That took some getting used to.

The ramp is HUGE, apparently running eighty yards and coming down from what would have been the second deck of stands.

Pre-Show: Austin Aries vs. Neville

We take a break and come back with Neville holding a chinlock, as is the common action when coming back for some reason. Neville takes too long yelling at the fans and misses a Phoenix splash, allowing Aries to hit the big ax handle to the floor. Another kick to the face stops Aries but he shoves the superplex away.

Pre-Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Only Big Show and Braun Strowman get introductions. We see Rob Gronkowski in the front row, just in case you wanted to have some drama about the ending. Braun tosses Primo at the bell and Kalisto goes out a few seconds later. What in the world happened to him? Gotch and Slater are gone, followed by Jey Uso and Goldust. Everyone has been put out by Big Show and Strowman so far to really hammer the idea home.

That makes sense though as you have to get rid of a bunch of the dead weight in this thing. Ziggler is sent to the apron for a second time but hangs on again and manages to backdrop Truth out. Rhyno follows him to the floor and Mahal puts Ziggler on the apron again to no avail. American Alpha dumps English, Axel and Jimmy Uso as the ring is rapidly clearing out.

Mojo finally gets rid of Ziggler and Titus kicks Harper out (Huh?) to get us down to five. Sami clotheslines Titus to the floor but gets dumped by Dain to suck the life out of the crowd. Mahal is down in the corner so we get Mojo vs. Dain, which sounds a lot more interesting than I was expecting. A tackle actually drops the monster but Mahal sends Mojo through the ropes to the floor.

Gronkowski gets in and runs Mahal over and Rawley hits the running right hand to Dain, setting up a clean elimination. Mahal gets sent to the apron and eventually the running fist gives Mojo the win at 14:08. I was legitimately scared they were going to give it to Mahal at the end so well done on the fake out.

Rating: D. Yeah it was boring (and flat out bad at times) but it was on the pre-show and we got a good choice for the winner (and not just because I picked Rawley for the win). This is the kind of match where you can give someone a rub without damaging anyone else so if it bombs, no one loses anything as a result. The Gronkowski stuff was harmless (and gave me a good laugh with the referees having to get rid of security) and Rawley is going to energize the crowd. Also, what the heck happened to Strowman? He goes from a potential main eventer to this in a month? Really?

Pre-Show: Intercontinental Title: Baron Corbin vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose charges right at him and gets dropped twice in a row. Corbin tries his slide underneath the bottom rope and gets taken down by a suicide dive. Back in and Dean is sent ribs/back first into the post as the beatdown begins. We get another audio break with no video break and come back (I think?) with Corbin working on the ribs. A choke shove (stop stealing from Alexa Bliss) drops Ambrose for two and Baron sends him into the barricade to vent some frustration.

Back in and we hit the chinlock with Dean looking more bored than in pain. Corbin is sent shoulder first into the post but the top rope elbow is partially blocked. Dirty Deeds is fully blocked but Corbin is sent outside. Dean sends him into the steps and now the top rope elbow connects. Back in and Deep Six gets two on the champ, only to have the rebound lariat put Corbin down as well. Corbin gets up first and starts talking trash, only to take too much time with End of Days, allowing Ambrose to grab Dirty Deeds to retain at 10:54.

The opening video focuses on the Ultimate Thrill Ride concept with a camera going down a roller coaster. Almost everyone on the card is seen at one point. All of the usual suspects were booed out of the building, though Miz and Maryse got one heck of a pop. Lesnar received a mixed reaction, which could make for one heck of an interesting Raw World Title match.

AJ Styles vs. Shane McMahon

AJ reverses that into a one leg/arm Styles Clash for two (because that move is worthless anymore) and both guys are spent. A slugout goes to Shane but the referee gets bumped, allowing AJ to go and grab a trashcan. As luck would have it he loads up Shane for the Coast to Coast, which is broken up by Shane using the can to knock him out of the air.

US Title: Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho

Charlotte goes right after Nia with Sasha and Bayley helping, only to have the monster shrug them all off. Sasha and Bayley get splashed in the corner, leaving Charlotte to chop away at Nia. With Bayley and Sasha on the floor, Nia throws Charlotte onto them and everyone is down. Back in and everyone goes after Nia at the same time, including a big boot into a double belly to back suplex for two.

Charlotte bails to the floor and tells the two of them to fight, only to pull Bayley to the floor so Sasha can score with a flip dive. Charlotte busts out the corkscrew dive and hits it PERFECTLY for a change, which is an incredibly rare sight. Back in and Natural Selection is countered the Bank Statement but Charlotte slips out again.

The Hall of Fame Class of 2017 is presented:

Diamond Dallas Page (LONG overdue for what he did after retirement if nothing else)

Rock N Roll Express (Even longer overdue)

Teddy Long (One of the most versatile performers ever)

Beth Phoenix (Good worker in a bad era)

Kurt Angle (One of the best of all time and easily deserving of the headlining spot)

Raw Tag Team Titles: Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows

Raw Tag Team Titles: Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows vs. Hardy Boyz

We recap the Miz/Maryse vs. John Cena/Nikki Bella. This is built around the idea of Miz and Maryse being a real couple and Cena/Bella being a robotic couple who are only there for the cameras. Cena and Nikki finally started acknowledging their relationship on TV and a mixed tag was set, which set up some hilarious parodies of Total Bellas with Miz and Maryse impersonating Cena and Nikki.

John Cena/Nikki Bella vs. Miz/Maryse

HHH vs. Seth Rollins

Anything goes. In his annual over the top entrance, HHH comes out on a three wheeled motorcycle flanked by police motorcycles. This is completely redeemed by Stephanie as biker girl in leather pants. I know she gets on my nerves a lot but my goodness she looks great here. Seth has a torch for some reason, which I guess symbolizes burning the place down. Rollins kicks him to the floor to start but a dragon screw legwhip to the good knee takes Rollins down.

HHH throws him in the reverse Figure Four which put Rollins out for weeks but Rollins reverses into a modified Crossface. That goes nowhere so HHH chairs the knee again and puts the hold on outside. Rollins tries to go underneath the ring to find whatever he can, including a sledgehammer which he throws to HHH for reasons of general stupidity. They head back inside with Rollins not only being able to stand but also being able to win a slugout.

That one spot COMPLETELY woke the crowd up after this long match had sucked the life out of them and shows what happens when you finally give the fans the comeuppance that a villain has earned (granted it might be nice if it happened more than once a year but you take what you can get with Stephanie). Rollins hits the Pedigree for the pin at 25:25.

Rating: C+. Major knee issues aside, this was actually much, much easier to sit through on a second viewing. It was a horribly boring match live and I was checking out reaction to the show instead of paying attention to the match. This viewing felt like the time was cut in half and I never really got bored.

Pitbull and company perform. You could actually see the fans stand up almost in unison and head for the concourse.

Smackdown World Title: Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

The pilots from the fly over are here.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

The Jackhammer only gets two (I believe Hogan is the only other person to kick out of that, which I think was due to Nash missing his cue) and you can see the life come back into Heyman. Goldberg loads up another spear but Lesnar leapfrogs him, sending Goldberg into the buckle. Seven more German suplexes (for the sake of the Tye Dillinger TEN from the crowd) sets up an F5 to give Lesnar the title back at 4:47.

Naomi and Carmella are put in a double Sharpshooter which falls apart before Natalya can even turn it over. The MickDT gets two on Becky and Mickie runs into a superkick (literally, as in she was out of range and had to move forward). Naomi clears the ring and hits the Rear View on Bliss before diving onto everyone else. Back in and Bliss punches Naomi out of the air, only to get caught in a weird submission (kind of a reverse Crossface actually) to give Naomi the title at 5:33.

New Day announces the attendance record of 75,245. Again, I forgot they were a part of this show.

We recap Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns. This is your pretty standard story: Undertaker is the old guard and Reigns is the new young star who thinks this is his yard. I know you hear this kind of story with Undertaker a lot but it really did feel different this time around.

Roman Reigns vs. Undertaker

This is announced as no holds barred, which is a new stipulation. In a very smart idea, Undertaker rises out of the middle of the ramp instead of walking all the way down. I completely missed that as I was looking at the stage and then glanced down to the ring as he was getting in. No matter how old he is, that entrance is still chilling live.

Undertaker starts fast and knocks Reigns to the floor and says this is still his yard. Back in and Reigns scores with a right hand before sending Undertaker over the top and right onto his feet. Reigns goes into the steps, only to come back with a Samoan drop to put Undertaker down. They head outside again with Undertaker popping him in the jaw to cut off the momentum, which makes sense from someone billed as a great striker. They head back inside again with the Snake Eyes into the big boot dropping Reigns for two.

Reigns poses in front of the big fireworks display in what would normally end the show.

He takes off the gloves (just like last year), the coat and finally, with a heavy sigh, the hat, leaving all of them in a pile on the mat. Undertaker finally leaves the ring, kisses Michelle McCool in the front row, and walks up the stage to the riser that brought him up for his entrance. With one last look back (and what appear to be tears), Undertaker raises his fist one last time as he descends to the gong sounding and THANK YOU TAKER CHANTS.

Results

AJ Styles b. Shane McMahon – Phenomenal Forearm

Kevin Owens b. Chris Jericho – Apron powerbomb

Bayley b. Nia Jax, Sasha Banks and Charlotte – Top rope elbow to Charlotte

Hardy Boyz b. Anderson and Gallows, Sheamus/Cesaro and Enzo Amore/Big Cass – Matt pulled down the titles

John Cena/Nikki Bella b. Miz/Maryse – AA to Miz and Rack Attack 2.0 to Maryse

Seth Rollins b. HHH – Pedigree

Randy Orton b. Bray Wyatt – RKO

Brock Lesnar b. Goldberg – F5

Naomi b. Carmella, Alexa Bliss, Mickie James, Becky Lynch and Natalya – Arm trap submission to Bliss

Roman Reigns b. Undertaker – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Main Event – April 1, 2021: I Really Liked This Match

Main Event
Date: April 1, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Kevin Patrick, Byron Saxton

We’re almost up to Wrestlemania and that means we might be for even bigger highlight collections than usual around here. Odds are that won’t be the case, but it would make more sense in this situation. Either way, it’s time to have the finest lower midcarders who aren’t going to make it to Monday Night Raw that you can find. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Mansoor vs. Angel Garza

We are hearing more and more about Mansoor’s undefeated streak. Garza grabs a waistlock to start but Mansoor grinds away on a headlock. They fight over a top wristlock with both of them bridging up in an impressive display. A springboard flying mare gets Mansoor out of trouble and it’s right back to the armbar.

Garza breaks that up, TAKES OFF HIS PANTS and ties Mansoor in the Tree of Woe for the running kick to the face. We hit the double arm crank for a bit but Mansoor is right back with a belly to back. A running clothesline and some right hands have Garza in trouble. What looked to be a DDT is broken up but Mansoor is right back with a small package for the pin at 5:44.

Rating: C. Mansoor is way past the point of needing people to walk him through a match and I’m rather surprised that he has only made it to Main Event. Unless he is really bad on the mic or something else, there is no reason whatsoever to not give him at least a little push. He can wrestle a fine match and giving him a chance against a slightly bigger name is not a bad idea.

We recap Daniel Bryan having Roman Reigns beaten until Edge broke it up.

From Smackdown.

Here is Daniel Bryan with a chair to get things going (now complete with an info graphic saying “actually made Roman Reigns tap out at Fastlane”). Bryan talks about how everyone saw Reigns tap at Fastlane, even though Reigns said he would rather die than tap. Then Edge hit him in the back with a steel chair because Edge thinks everyone should let us see the Edge vs. Roman Reigns dream match.

Bryan is tired of everyone having a dream match but him, so he is willing to earn everything again. He wants Roman Reigns for the Universal Title tonight and is sitting right here until he gets his shot. Post break, Bryan is still sitting in the ring and after a recap of what he said before the break, here is Adam Pearce to say the referee’s decision is final. Reigns is still the Universal Champion and his next title defense will be against Edge at WrestleMania.

Bryan understands and says he can face the winner immediately after Reigns vs. Edge is over. Pearce says no and Bryan calls him out for the double standard. How about this: Edge vs. Reigns on the first night and Bryan vs. the winner on second night? Cue Edge to say every match he wrestles could be his last one and he is sick of hearing from Bryan after Bryan last twice. The fight is on and Edge hits a quick spear before unloading with the chair. Edge stares a lot and egads don’t go to a closeup of him these days.

From Smackdown.

Here’s Adam Pearce for the big decision. Roman Reigns, Edge and Daniel Bryan join him and Pearce gets to the point: Reigns will defend the title once at Wrestlemania and it will be in a triple threat match. Then we cut to an ad for the FOX 10pm news and come back with Edge down and Reigns hammering on Bryan.

Jey Uso throws in a chair but Edge spears him down and beats up the other two. Edge lays them out with the chair and drops the agents for trying to break up the Conchairto. The distraction lets Bryan escape so Edge has a seat in the middle of the ring to end the show. That was the only way to go after Fastlane and thankfully they didn’t waste time.

We look at Drew McIntyre beating the Hurt Business to ban them from ringside at Wrestlemania.

We look at Bobby Lashley breaking up the Hurt Business. I won’t believe it until the night after Wrestlemania, but that would be a horribly stupid move.

From Raw.

Bobby Lashley vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title and Cedric Alexander is here with Benjamin. Shelton wrestles him to the mat to start but Lashley powers up and hammers away. Lashley sends him outside for a hard posting, followed by a running shoulder in the corner back inside. Hold on though as Lashley has to chase Alexander up the ramp. The distraction lets Shelton hit Paydirt for two, followed by a running knee in the corner. Lashley shrugs it off and hits a pair of spinebusters into the Hurt Lock for the win at 4:13.

Rating: C. Shelton was game here and it made for a nice enough match. As usual, there is nothing wrong with an obvious ending and it isn’t like they wasted a bunch of time or teased a bunch of false finishes. Just get in, do what you need to do, and then get back out before things stop being interesting.

From Raw.

It’s time for Alexa’s Playground with Bliss looking at a Jack in the Box. They used to be called the Devil in the Box and could only be opened once they were weakened. That is what happened to the Fiend at Wrestlemania and Randy Orton believed that the Fiend was gone forever. The Fiend was really just weakened and trapped inside Bliss’ Fiend in a Box. Now Fiend is looking forward to Wrestlemania, because the Legend Killer dies. She turns the crank on the box and a Fiend figure pops up….and the real Fiend is sitting beside her. Ok that was actually kind of creepy.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Humberto Carrillo vs. Drew Gulak

They fight over a lockup to start until Carrillo jumps over him in the corner. A dropkick looks to set up a suplex but Gulak snaps the throat across the top. Gulak goes up but gets Spanish Flied down for two as we take a break. Back with Carrillo hitting a side slam for two and grabbing an armbar. Gulak pulls him down by the arm though and hits a dropkick to the same arm.

With that not working, Gulak switches to an ankle lock and then the STF. Carrillo grabs a rope so Gulak puts him on top, only to have Carrillo spin onto him into a crossbody for two. Gulak is back up and tries an O’Connor roll but Carrillo blocks and immaterial springboard up for a spinning headbutt. The cover is countered into a choke They trade rollups for two each, followed by Gulak hitting a Jackhammer of all things for two. Gulak tries la majistral but Carrillo counters the rollup for the pin at 11:04.

Rating: B-. I know it means nothing and I know it isn’t going anywhere but these guys had a heck of a match with both of them working hard. When else do you see an exchange of submissions in a match on Main Event? Neither of them is ever going to go anywhere but it’s nice to see people putting in the effort and hopefully having a lot of fun.

We look at Drew McIntyre running through Ricochet and Mustafa Ali.

From Raw.

Post match McIntyre calls out Lashley and, after we cut to a nervous looking MVP, here he is. Post break, McIntyre says he didn’t even notice MVP behind him and now it is time to fight. The brawl is on with Lashley being knocked to the floor. Cue King Corbin to jump McIntyre from behind and lay him out until McIntyre manages a belly to belly. The Claymore is countered into Deep Six, allowing Lashley to put on the Hurt Lock. Lashley does it two more times to really hammer the point home and leave McIntyre laying.

Overall Rating: C+. The main event helped this a lot, but it also might just be that we are so close to Wrestlemania. Things are picking up in a good way and I want to see where a lot of these stories go. That being said, it helps when you focus on the two biggest stories in the company almost exclusively, so it would have been hard to ave a bad show like this.

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Main Event – March 25, 2021: Wrestlemania Season

Main Event
Date: March 25, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Kevin Patrick, Byron Saxton

You can feel how much bigger things are getting around here every single week and that is always great. I’m not sure how much of a difference that is going to make for Main Event because of the revolving door principle that this show lives by, but maybe they will throw in at least a minute change up. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Akira Tozawa vs. Drew Gulak

Tozawa: “NINJA POWER!” Gulak kicks him in the ribs for his efforts but is knocked off the apron in a hurry. That means a running flip dive off the apron to take Gulak down again and a Tozawa nails a kick for two back inside. Gulak gets in his own kick but Tozawa strikes away at his face. Another takedown sets up a seated abdominal stretch to make Tozawa scream a lot, followed by a chinlock for the same. Tozawa breaks that up in a hurry and hits a pop up hurricanrana. A Shining Wizard sets up the top rope elbow to the face for two. The Octopus goes on but Gulak spins out, setting up the Cyclone Crash for the pin at 4:38.

Rating: C. Gulak continues to be one of the true hidden gems in WWE as he can have a perfectly watchable match against anyone. Tozawa is better than most but didn’t exactly shine in this one, which is kind of a shame. I could go for more of both of them, but it isn’t like this was the right place for a breakout performance.

From Raw.

Asuka vs. Peyton Royce

Non-title and this is the result of Royce venting on Raw Talk. Asuka goes for the arm to start but Royce reverses into a bridging leglock. That’s broken up with a kick to the ribs and Royce is sent to the apron for the spinning backfist. Royce avoids a running hip attack and hits a spinning kick to the back as we take a break.

Back with Asuka kicking her down again but getting caught in a Gory Stretch, with Royce dropping to her knees for two. A Codebreaker gives Asuka her own two but Royce shoves her off the top. Royce’s top rope double stomp to the back gets two but Asuka pulls her into the Asuka Lock for the tap at 11:12.

Rating: C+. Royce looked good here and there are far worse ideas than turning her into a more serious challenger. Asuka has cleared out the division and there is little reason to not give someone new a chance. I know Rhea Ripley is going to be sent to the top of the card but Royce as a potential future star could work rather well.

Post match here’s the debuting Rhea Ripley, instantly looking like a total star. Ripley wastes no time and challenges Asuka for the title at Wrestlemania. Asuka yells in Japanese but then says that Ripley is not ready for Asuka, meaning the match is on.

We see the Hurt Business attacking Sheamus on Raw, which gave Drew McIntyre an idea.

From Raw.

Drew McIntyre vs. Hurt Business

If Drew wins, Shelton and Cedric are banned from ringside at Wrestlemania. Drew throws Shelton around to start and hits an early suplex, followed by a heck of a backdrop to Alexander. We settle down to Drew stomping on Shelton’s hand but Alexander pulls Shelton to the floor to avoid the threat of the Claymore. McIntyre posts Shelton instead but a distraction lets Shelton knee him out to the floor.

Alexander hits a big flip dive and sends McIntyre into the barricade. We take a break and come back with McIntyre still in trouble with Shelton grabbing a chinlock. McIntyre fights up for the Dragon Whip, earning himself a Glasgow Kiss. Back up and McIntyre starts cleaning house, including the Claymore to both of them to finish Alexander at 13:06.

Rating: C. This was only there for the sake of giving Drew some more momentum on the way to Wrestlemania. Drew getting rid of the rest of the team works fine as they only need to have Lashley vs. McIntyre with MVP involved too. Not a bad match or anything, but the wrestling wasn’t the point here.

Post break, MVP yells at the team and Lashley says he is going to find someone who can get this done. Lashley goes up to the usual gang of losers and says anyone who takes McIntyre out before Wrestlemania will get a shot. MVP seems fine with this.

Wrestlemania rundown, including clips from Raw of Miz challenging Bad Bunny and the challenge being accepted.

Gran Metalik vs. Angel Garza

Lince Dorado is here with Metalik. Garza works on the arm to start but gets reversed into an armbar to change things up. That doesn’t go very far so Metalik hits a handspring elbow to send Garza outside instead. We take a break and come back with Garza hitting a pop up knee and TAKING OFF HIS PANTS.

A running kick to the face drops Metalik again and we hit the double arm crank. That’s broken up with a flying mare and a reverse Sling Blade to drop Garza. The rope walk dropkick gets two on Garza but he’s right back with a belly to back slam for two. Metalik hits a springboard back elbow for two of his own so Garza hits him in the face. The Wing Clipper finishes Metalik at 10:40.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here, which shouldn’t be surprising given that Garza is one of the most talented wrestlers to fly under WWE’s radar. The ending gave me a bit of a chuckle as Garza shrugged off Metalik’s offense and just finished him off with ease. Nothing great here, but they did their thing rather well.

We look at Edge costing Daniel Bryan the Universal Title at Fastlane.

Recap of Randy Orton burning the Fiend alive and assorted magical curse issues that followed, including Alexa Bliss bringing the Fiend back at Fastlane.

From Raw.

Here is Randy Orton, with a bag, to summon the Fiend. Orton talks about watching the Fiend burn alive but last night was some kind of an abomination. Tonight, he is getting rid of Alexa Bliss and the Fiend once and for all. Cue Bliss, with a Jack in the box, which reveals something close to the Fiend inside.

Cue the real Fiend, so Orton opens the bag and pulls out a can of gasoline. Orton throws it on him and pulls out a match but goes with the RKO instead of burning Fiend up. Alexa gets in for a distraction so Orton stares at her as Fiend stands up. The Mandible Claw sets up Sister Abigail to knock Randy silly and Fiend points at the Wrestlemania sign. Fire goes off around the sign and I’m almost scared of what is coming there. The match is confirmed to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Just another Main Event, though it was nice to see some decent original stuff. That is one of the better things WWE can brag about: they have the talent to allow them to do just about anything they want to do, including having this show to bring in some international money. The recaps don’t mean anything, but at least you have a way to get fans into the show in a hurry.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – March 29, 2021: Autopilot Build At The Wrong Time

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 29, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, MVP, Tom Phillips

We are less than two weeks away from Wrestlemania and that means it is time to really hammer things home. That might be a problem for the next two weeks though as the shows are going to be up against the NCAA Elite Eight this week and championship game next week. I’m not sure how WWE is going to handle these things but it could be interesting. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Drew McIntyre arrived earlier and isn’t worried about someone taking him out before Wrestlemania.

Here is the Hurt Business to get things going and MVP recaps the chance for someone to take out McIntyre for a future title shot. We look at Shelton Benjamin and Cedric Alexander losing to McIntyre last week and Bobby Lashley is not pleased. They failed miserably and Lashley does not want to be associated with them. MVP gives them the chance to defend themselves but Shelton says Lashley wouldn’t have the title if not for him. Shelton doesn’t like MVP holding him back so Lashley decks Alexander and Shelton suplexes Lashley down. That earns him some knees to the ribs into a Downward Spiral.

We look back at Sheamus attacking Riddle with his scooter last week.

Riddle isn’t sure if Sheamus had a tummy ache or just doesn’t have a soul. Sheamus made him mad last week and tonight Riddle is dealing with it. Riddle goes over to Titus O’Neil and thinks that Titus is hosting the roast of Wrestlemania. Titus corrects him but Riddle asks about the mac and cheese. Sheamus jumps Riddle before their match.

We look at the Hurt Business split, for some reason featuring Main Event graphics.

Shelton Benjamin and Cedric Alexander go up to Adam Pearce and want Shelton vs. Lashley tonight. If that works, Alexander wants a chance next week. Pearce isn’t sure, so they question his testicular fortitude. The match isn’t made but I think you know where this is going.

Riddle vs. Sheamus

Non-title. They go to the mat to start until Sheamus takes him into the corner for a shot to the ribs. A headlock takeover has Riddle in trouble but Riddle pulls him down into a choke (for what looked like a tap but doesn’t count). Sheamus fights up and they head outside where Riddle hits the Floating Bro.

We take a break and come back with Sheamus fish hooking the jaws but Riddle fights up. Sheamus goes up top but gets caught in a belly to belly superplex, with Riddle seeming to land on his head. Riddle is fine enough to send Sheamus into the corner for some running forearms into a t-bone suplex.

The Broton gives Riddle two but a triangle choke is reversed into a powerbomb….which doesn’t break the hold. Instead Sheamus makes the apron for White Noise onto said apron to knock Riddle silly for two. An Alabama Slam gets two more but the Brogue Kick is is broken up. Riddle’s knee is blocked but Sheamus’ connects (it looked like it was supposed to be a Brogue Kick but they were too close) for the pin at 12:45.

Rating: B-. As soon as I saw this match booked and it went past five minutes, I know where it was going, all the way up to Wrestlemania. That is the kind of thing that WWE has done over and over and for the life of me I don’t get the logic. They have a match that is probably the same length that they are going to go on Wrestlemania with a clean finish so now I am supposed to want to watch them do the same thing in less than two weeks? That’s the best that they have and it isn’t exactly inspiring.

Post match Riddle shoves Sheamus off the apron.

We recap Shane McMahon vs. Braun Strowman.

Shane promises to expose Strowman tonight.

Drew McIntyre runs into AJ Styles and Omos and accuses them of wanting to cash in on Lashley’s offer. Omos says their Wrestlemania plans are more realistic and tension is teased.

Here are Shane McMahon, Elias and Jaxson Ryker for a chat. Shane credits adrenaline for allowing him to run to safety last week. As for Strowman, Shane has found a few things about him, including proof that Strowman is stupid. We see Strowman’s report card (three D-, a D and a D+), plus comments on how much of a distraction Braun really is. Then we get a picture of Braun, with his beard, a dunce cap and a WrestleMania XV jacket, standing in front of a blackboard with “2+2=5, I AM NOT STUPID I AM NOT STUPID” written in large chalk. Shane thinks Braun needs a hug so here is Braun himself.

Braun Strowman vs. Jaxson Ryker

Strowman throws him outside and chases Shane McMahon around (minus train sound effects) but Shane gets away. Back in and Ryker manages a quick shot and goes up, only to leave an ax handle short so he lands on his feet and then ax handles Strowman. That doesn’t get him very far so Strowman goes sends him outside again, setting up the train (with sound effects), but it doesn’t even go halfway around the ring and only hits one person. Back in and the running powerslam finishes Ryker at 2:27.

Post match the beatdown is on with Strowman cleaning house again. Strowman grabs the mic and reminds Shane that he gets to pick the stipulation. It’s going to be….a steel cage match.

It’s time for the Dirt Sheet, with Miz and John Morrison being rather pleased about their upcoming music video. Before we get there though, Miz needs to rant about his challenge to Bad Bunny last week, followed by Bunny attacking him to accept the challenge. Miz promises to pay Bunny back at Wrestlemania for every piece of wood in his back. Now we get the music video for Hey Hey, Hop Hop.

The video features the two of them in white suite (and bunny suits) dancing on the Raw stage and talking trash about Bad Bunny and Damian Priest in front of a fake crowd, including saying that Bunny isn’t OG like Bugs. Also, because WWE, we look at Miz and Morrison watching themselves on the screen, which kind of misses the point of a music VIDEO.

This goes on for a rather long time and Miz is in tears, so here are Bunny and Priest to interrupt. Bunny, in Spanish, promises to take care of Miz at Wrestlemania so Priest steps aside so Miz can get in Bunny’s face. A right hand staggers Miz (it looked good) and Priest and Bunny head inside to break up the Dirt Sheet set.

Randy Orton talks about being in the ring with a lot of legends over the years but none of them have been like the Fiend. Orton knew that he had to do something about the Fiend so he made the decision to burn the Fiend alive. Then Alexa Bliss started talking about how she could bring the Fiend back. Now Orton knows what he is dealing with and knows that at Wrestlemania he has to dig down deep and take care of this abomination. Orton will do whatever it takes to get the Fiend out of his life.

Bobby Lashley vs. Shelton Benjamin

Rating: C. Shelton was game here and it made for a nice enough match. As usual, there is nothing wrong with an obvious ending and it isn’t like they wasted a bunch of time or teased a bunch of false finishes. Just get in, do what you need to do, and then get back out before things stop being interesting.

New Day comes up to AJ Styles and Omos in the back because they have an idea for game night. AJ is ready to fight Xavier Woods instead tonight but New Day doesn’t seem impressed. They’ll play some kind of a game first before we get to the title match at Wrestlemania. Kofi: “LET THE GAMES BEGIN BAY-BEE!!!”

Riddle vs. Sheamus is set for Wrestlemania.

It’s time for New Day game night, with all kinds of games set up in the ring. AJ Styles and Omos join them and we’ll start with charades. New Day manages to get A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton but AJ can’t get Omos to understand the Lion King. With that out of the way, it’s time for Pictionary (or at least something close to it). Kofi identifies a rocket ship but Omos can’t figure out the sun. Omos is sick of these games and AJ throws some of the stuff out before his match with Xavier Woods. This show is setting a new record for bad ways of building a pay per view.

A kid has paid tribute to Hulk Hogan with an impression and a big Hogan poster.

Xavier Woods vs. AJ Styles

Woods, in Mortal Kombat themed gear, shoulders AJ down to start and sends him into the corner. AJ gets knocked outside for the big flip dive from Woods, who mockingly glares at Omos as we take a break. Back with Woods hitting a backdrop and putting AJ on top but Styles drops him face first onto the turnbuckle. A fireman’s carry backbreaker gives AJ two but Woods is back with a tornado DDT for one. Woods goes to the apron but Omos grabs the leg to throw him back inside for the DQ at 7:57.

Rating: C. I know Kofi is the one who gets the glory but Woods is someone who can more than hold his own in the ring. That makes for some pretty good matches like this one, as Woods was able to do just fine against a master like Styles. It’s also nice to see Omos do something, because just standing there and glaring is only getting him so far.

Post match Kofi gets gorilla pressed over the barricade (with WWE knowing how to shoot the move to make it look all the more impressive). Woods gets planted with something like a Sky High so Omos can put his foot on Woods’ chest for a three count.

Drew McIntyre is frustrated and heads into the locker room to ask who is stepping up to take him out and get his Wrestlemania title shot. No one has stepped up and he never would have done that just a few years ago. Drew tells Braun Strowman to step up because he should be a five time World Champion (egads the horror). Strowman says he’ll take care of Shane McMahon and then come for the title when McIntyre wins it.

Humberto Carrillo doesn’t seem interested so McIntyre tells Riddle to do it. Riddle says Sheamus is a full Thanksgiving meal….so McIntyre has to deal with Carrillo. McIntyre headbutts Drew Gulak and gets in Ricochet’s face. Ricochet knows Lashley’s word means nothing but if McIntyre wants a fight, he has one. Drew can respect that and they’re on for later. Makes sense, even if this made these people seem rather lame for not being willing to go after the title.

Naomi vs. Shayna Baszler

Lana, Nia Jax and Reginald are at ringside and Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke are on commentary. Shayna starts fast and stomps on the arm as we look at Brooke and Rose some more. The Kirifuda Clutch is broken up but Reginald offers a distraction. Everyone gets into a brawl on the floor and Naomi rolls Baszler up for the pin at 2:24.

Riddle comes up to Asuka in the back to ask if they would like scooters in Japan. Riddle starts to say something else, laughs, and says he forgot his lines. He walks off and Asuka awkwardly looks into the camera. I know it’s kind of hard to tell with Riddle, but that felt a lot like the Sid promo from the 90s where he forgot it was live.

It’s time for the contract signing for the Women’s Title match. Rhea Ripley and Asuka both come to the ring, with Ripley saying that Asuka is soon to be the former champion. Rhea signs and so does Asuka, who talks about Rhea having too much confidence. The table is turned over and smashed into Asuka’s head….and here are Shayna Baszler, Nia Jax and Reginald.

They can’t believe Ripley is here to get the title shot after Baszler has dominated the two of them already. Where is their Wrestlemania match? Baszler wants to fight Rhea right now but Jax proposes a tag match for next week, which Rhea accepts. So yes, now Jax and Baszler are going to drag down ANOTHER Women’s Title feud for Wrestlemania, because just one wasn’t enough.

MVP comes up to Ricochet and is happy that Ricochet is taking things seriously. Ricochet doesn’t want to hear it and heads to the ring.

Great Khali and Rob Van Dam are going into the Hall of Fame. This year’s class is pretty awesome.

Ricochet vs. Drew McIntyre

McIntyre wastes no time in LAUNCHING Ricochet for a backdrop and then sends him flying off a belly to belly. Ricochet gets in a shot to the face though and sends McIntyre outside, only to be pulled to the floor for a shot to the face. A whip into the steps is countered with a jump onto the barricade, where Ricochet walks across and hits a dropkick on the floor. Back in and 630 misses, allowing McIntyre to hit the Claymore for the pin at 2:41.

Post match here’s Mustafa Ali (who seems to have shaved a bit) to go after McIntyre’s knee. McIntyre sends him outside and we have another match.

Mustafa Ali vs. Drew McIntyre

Joined in progress with Ali staying on the leg and kicking it out to the apron. McIntyre’s chop doesn’t get him very far as Ali knocks him down to go after the knee again. A top rope splash to the leg gets two but McIntyre snaps off an overhead belly to belly. There’s another one but McIntyre is slow to follow up. A third suplex sets up a Glasgow Kiss into the Claymore for the pin at 3:42 shown.

Rating: C. This was a bit better than the previous one, though watching McIntyre run through people who could be in an interesting place on this show is a little rough. That being said, McIntyre and Lashley being built up as monsters is a good way to go and we could be in for a heck of a match at Wrestlemania as a result.

Overall Rating: D+. Lashley and McIntyre did everything they could to save this but they could only do so much. I don’t remember the last time I saw a show that did so little to make me want to see a pay per view. This was every bad WWE booking trope (split up a perfectly good/rather good team, beat the champ to set up rematch, distraction finish, set up matches on the fly, a lot of Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler and a King Corbin appearance to set up a match either this week or next) with very little to make me want to watch. It felt like total autopilot for most of the show and that’s really bad at this time of the year.

Results

Sheamus b. Riddle – Jumping knee

Braun Strowman b. Jaxson Ryker – Running powerslam

Bobby Lashley b. Shelton Benjamin – Hurt Lock

Xavier Woods b. AJ Styles via DQ when Omos interfered

Naomi b. Shayna Baszler – Rollup

Drew McIntyre b. Ricochet – Claymore

Drew McIntyre b. Mustafa Ali – Claymore

Monday Night Raw – March 22, 2021: Hurry Up Already

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 22, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Samoa Joe, Tom Phillips

We’re finally past what wound up being a pretty good Fastlane show and that means we are on the final stretch of the Road To Wrestlemania. Now this year that means with a grand total of nineteen days to go before the show because WWE loves to cram in extra content. Let’s get to it.

Here is Fastlane if you need a recap.

Sheamus vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title and the rest of the Hurt Business is at ringside. They go to the mat to start with Sheamus actually getting the better of a front facelock. You can see the welts all over Sheamus’ back as Lashley fights up and takes him down with a swinging neckbreaker. The chinlock goes on for a bit but Sheamus fights up, only to get pummeled in the head. Sheamus is sent outside for a cheap shot from Shelton Benjamin and we take a break.

Back with Sheamus avoiding a charge to send Lashley into the post and some running ax handles to the face put him down again. Lashley gets knocked outside and Sheamus hits the top rope clothesline. Back in and a knee to the face gives Sheamus two but Lashley hits the spinebuster. The Hurt Lock makes Sheamus tap at 11:37.

Rating: B-. Raw has been bringing the hoss fights lately and that is not a bad thing. This was another example of two power guys doing power moves to each other and it worked out rather well. Lashley getting a more decisive win over Sheamus, though only after having to work for it, was a good way to go. Sheamus will be fine in whatever he does too.

Post match the Hurt Business gets on Sheamus but Drew McIntyre runs out for the save. Lashley is ready to go but MVP holds him back, shouting to SAVE IT FOR MANIA. McIntyre puts his hands behind his back to let Lashley have a free shot but MVP talks him down.

Post break, Lashley yells at Cedric Alexander and Shelton Benjamin for getting involved in his match. MVP says that made it look like Lashley can’t win on his own. It was an embarrassment, like when they lost the Tag Team Titles last week. They need to think about what they did.

Long recap of the now burned up Fiend returning last night.

Asuka vs. Peyton Royce

Adam Pearce comes up to Drew McIntyre in the back, where McIntyre asks him for a match with the Hurt Business later tonight. Pearce doesn’t like the idea but Drew talks him into it, with a catch: if he wins tonight, those two are banned from ringside at Wrestlemania. Deal.

Post break, the match is official.

It’s time for MizTV with Miz and John Morrison bragging about Miz being a two time Grand Slam Champion. They’re big stars but you don’t see the two of them on the Wrestlemania poster. No instead you see Bad Bunny, who has been around for a cup of coffee. We look at Miz attacking Bad Bunny with his guitar last week, which Morrison calls a smash hit.

They are ready to get rid of Bunny for good and that’s why next week, we will be seeing the debut of their new music video: Hey Hey Hop Hop. We get a preview, which includes the two of them in bunny suits hopping around on the Raw stage. That isn’t all though, because Miz is challenging him to a match at Wrestlemania so he can end his career for good. If Bunny wants a preview, watch what Miz is going to do to Jeff Hardy right now.

Miz vs. Jeff Hardy

Before the match, Hardy says if Miz is a real man, he’ll send Morrison to the back right now. That works for Miz and we’re ready to go. Hardy starts fast and sends Miz into the ropes, only to get hit in the face for his efforts. Miz’s running boot to the head gets two and we hit the chinlock. Hardy breaks that up in a hurry and clotheslines him down to set up the running splash for two. A middle rope splash gets the same but Miz sends him shoulder first into the post. The Skull Crushing Finale is good for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: C. This was just a step above a Miz squash and that’s a good idea after Lashley destroyed him so thoroughly. Miz is going to be fine losing to Bunny at Wrestlemania because he can talk his way right back into whatever level he needs. The match was fine enough but it was more to serve a purpose than anything else and that worked out well.

Post match Miz poses but here is Bad Bunny to break a guitar over his back. Bunny accepts the challenge for Wrestlemania.

Riddle, on his scooter, rides past AJ Styles and Omos and calls AJ skipper.

Here are AJ Styles and Omos to say that they are going to win the Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania. Cue New Day to say they seem to think that is funny, with Woods making jokes about Omos being AJ overcompensating for some size issues. We get into something close to the Newlywed Game, with AJ not knowing Omos’ favorite color (mauve), favorite ice cream (peanut butter caramel) or favorite wrestler of all time (Andre). Styles shrugs it off and does his own version of the New Day dance, which has New Day rather annoyed.

Eric Bischoff is going into the Hall of Fame.

AJ Styles vs. Kofi Kingston

Omos and Xavier Woods are at ringside. Kofi grabs a headlock to start but AJ breaks it up without much effort. A leapfrog works for Kofi but AJ knocks him to the apron. AJ barely hangs on when he has to bail out on a dive and Kofi trips him to the apron. Back in and a monkey flip gives Kofi two but AJ sends him outside for a whip into the steps. Woods goes to intervene but gets stared down by Omos as we take a break.

We come back with Kofi hitting a shot to the face and the Boom Drop but Trouble In Paradise is broken up with an enziguri. Kofi catches him on top and loads up SOS, which is reversed into the Calf Crusher. That means a long crawl for the rope break so AJ goes up, only to have Woods play some trombone. The delay lets Kofi counter the Phenomenal Forearm into the SOS for the pin at 13:56.

Rating: C+. Like this could be bad no matter what they did. The loss might seem a little odd but all that matters about the match is Omos being a monster and that seems like it could work fine. Hopefully this winds up working out as there are talented people to make a match work around him, and two of those three were doing their thing here.

Sheamus isn’t happy with Drew McIntyre getting involved in his match when no one asked him to. Cue Riddle, on his scooter, to ask if the Loch Ness Monster is real, if Drew has ever been to Sheamus’ house in Ireland, if leprechauns are real and what Sheamus would ask for if he had a wish. They talk about the scooter, which Sheamus drives into Riddle’s ribs. Riddle, while holding his ribs and trying to breathe: “Was it something I said bro?”

Drew McIntyre vs. Hurt Business

Dana Brooke/Mandy Rose vs. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler

Non-title with Naomi and Lana on commentary and Reginald (with Jax and Baszler) backflips down the ramp. Before the match, we see Nia Jax taking Reginald on a shopping spree a few weeks ago. Baszler takes Brooke with ease to start but Brooke fights back up and goes after Jax on the apron.

Mandy breaks up the Kirifuda Clutch so it’s off to Jax to run Brooke over. Mandy goes after Reginald and throws him in the ring for a flip display. The hot tag brings in Mandy for some knees to the face for two but Reginald gets on the apron for a distraction. Baszler runs Mandy over on the floor and Jax Samoan drops Brooke for the pin at 2:45.

Post match Jax and Reginald celebrate with Baszler having to come in between them.

Alexa Bliss wants Randy Orton gone but she’s still here and He is back. You can’t always get what you want. Let Me In (in Fiend’s voice coming out of her mouth).

We recap the Shane McMahon injury from last night.

Shane is in the ring with Elias and Jaxson Ryker for this week’s concert. The song is about how stupid Braun Strowman is and Shane even joins in on the chorus. Cue Strowman with promises of violence.

Braun Strowman vs. Elias

Strowman powers him around to start, glares at Shane, and knocks Elias out to the floor in a hurry. Back in and Elias nails a jumping knee to knock Strowman into the corner. Strowman is right back up with a running dropkick to knock Elias silly and a right hand puts Ryker down. They head outside with Strowman doing his running shoulders around the ring, now with loud train sound effects included. Thankfully they go straight to the finish with Strowman finishing with the running powerslam at 3:07.

Rating: D. This story was bad in the first place and then it got even worse with the sound effects. Are we supposed to believe that Strowman told someone to do that? Or that someone thought it would be a good idea? Throw in that it is to keep Strowman vs. Shane going to Wrestlemania and this was just annoying all around.

Post match Shane hits Strowman with a crutch to no avail so Shane sprints up the ramp to escape. Strowman challenges him for Wrestlemania and Shane accepts, for any match Strowman wants. Oh that’s going to be stupid. You can pick which one I mean by that.

Wrestlemania rundown, including the nights some matches will take place:

Saturday – Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley, Sasha Banks vs. Bianca Belair, Bad Bunny vs. The Miz

Sunday – Roman Reigns vs. Edge, Asuka vs. Rhea Ripley

Overall Rating: C+. Your taste is probably going to vary pretty hard on this one, but the point of this show was building up Wrestlemania in a hurry. We came in with four matches and left with eight, so I think it’s safe to say that they got things built up rather quickly. Now on the flip side, what we got is not exactly the most thrilling stuff and that is a big problem for this Wrestlemania. There are matches set up, but nothing on the show feels all that interesting. I’m not exactly looking forward to the show, but I’ll take what I can get in the way of a rapid fire build. Throw in some good wrestling and this was a rather easy three hours.

Results

Bobby Lashley b. Sheamus – Hurt Lock

Asuka b. Peyton Royce – Asuka Lock

Miz b. Jeff Hardy – Skull Crushing Finale

Kofi Kingston b. AJ Styles – SOS

Drew McIntyre b. Hurt Business – Claymore to Alexander

Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler b. Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke – Samoan drop to Brooke

Braun Strowman b. Elias – Running powerslam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Fastlane 2021: You Shouldn’t Be Surprised

Fastlane 2021
Date: March 21, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Michael Cole, Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton

It’s time for the show that doesn’t exactly seem like it needs to exist but actually doesn’t look too bad on paper. There are some matches here which could be pretty good, though you never can tell with a show like this. A lot of the promise might come from the fact that the expectations are so low, but take whatever you can get. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: US Title: Riddle vs. Mustafa Ali

Ali is challenging and also has Retribution with him. Riddle snaps off a gutwrench suplex for two to start but Ali gets in a suplex of his own. Ali wraps Riddle’s leg around the post and then swings him around to send Riddle’s head into the post as well. There’s a dropkick to the ribs but Ali stops to brag to Retribution. The bodyscissors stays on the ribs and there’s a dropkick to the back to give Ali two more.

Ali seems to be favoring his knee before he slaps on another bodyscissors. Riddle reverses into a sleeper but Ali flips backwards for two to break things up. A Pele kick knocks Ali into the corner and there’s the PK to the chest. Riddle hits a Final Flash for two more but the Floating Bro hits knees.

Ali’s tornado DDT is countered into a fisherman’s buster but Ali snaps on a Koji Clutch. Riddle finally picks him up and gently drops him down for the break, which has Ali smiling at Retribution. Ali talks trash and crotches Riddle on top, only to charge into a sleeper while Riddle is still on top. Riddle isn’t done though and pulls him up for a super Bro Derek to retain at 9:19.

Rating: C+. That’s how I like my Riddle: turning on the jets to run someone over because there is no way to keep up with him. It’s nice to see him crank up the seriousness every now and then and that is what we got here. Retribution has been done for a long time now an it wouldn’t surprise me to see them split up before we even get to Wrestlemania.

Post match Ali blames the rest of Retribution with Reckoning being specifically called out. Reckoning walks out and Slapjack follows her. Ali keeps yelling at Mace and T-Bar, who lay him out with a double chokeslam.

The opening video looks at the main matches and how everyone is trying to make it to Wrestlemania.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler vs. Bianca Belair/Sasha Banks

Jax and Baszler are defending and have Reginald in their corner. Both teams are bickering coming in because that’s a really popular idea around here. Banks and Baszler start things off and we’re at about nine camera cuts in the first five seconds. Baszler is knocked into the corner for the slingshot knees and Belair comes in for two off a standing moonsault. Belair blocks an attempt at a triangle choke with straight power so Baszler hits her in the face.

Jax tags herself in, much to Baszler’s annoyance, and the champs start taking turns working over on Belair. Jax chokes away and it’s back to Baszler to work on an armbar. It’s back to Jax for a cobra clutch but Belair fights up. A missed charge sends Jax shoulder first into the post and the hot tag brings Banks back in to clean house.

Belair comes back in with a 450 to Baszler but Reginald offers a distraction. After a forearm takes care of him, the Bank Statement has Baszler in trouble. Belair goes to cut off Jax, who shoves Belair into Banks to break the hold. That lets Banks and Belair argue some more so Baszler rolls Banks up to retain at 8:46.

Rating: C. The match was fine enough but egads it’s annoying seeing the women be either best friends or arguing all the time. It’s like they have two emotions to choose from and that’s not exactly interesting. On top of that, the Women’s Champion just got pinned by someone who isn’t going to mention going after the title because that’s not what we’re doing right now. Instead, Baszler is just going to be happy that she has a path to Wrestlemania. The logic and lack of planning from this company is astounding. Oh and what was the point of Tamina and Natalya jumping Belair on Smackdown?

Post match Belair and Banks argue again, with Banks calling her a rookie. Banks hits a heck of a slap to the face and leaves while holding the title.

Shane McMahon injured himself in training earlier today and is limping around with ice wrapped around his knee. Elias comes up to say he has an idea for the most epic musical performance ever at Wrestlemania (How many of those is he going to have???). He’s willing to do anything and Shane might have an idea.

We recap Apollo Crews vs. Big E. Crews has channeled his Nigerian royal heritage and is being more aggressive. He has attacked Big E. over and over again but Big E. won’t give him another title shot. Then Crews went too far and it was time for a showdown/beating.

Intercontinental Title: Big E. vs. Apollo Crews

Big E. is defending and the slugout is on in a hurry. The spear through the ropes drops Crews in less than thirty seconds with Big E. saying this is what Crews wanted. There’s the apron splash and, after a lot of shouting, another apron splash cruses Crews again. Big E. hits an overhead belly to belly and shouts about how much he has worked for this.

There’s another suplex but Crews kicks the knee out to cut Big E. down. A German suplex sends Big E. flying again and a frog splash gets two. Crews’ toss powerbomb is countered and they fight over a small package with Big E. getting a pin…..maybe…..to retain at 5:44. Commentary seemed to be rather unsure about whose shoulders were down.

Rating: C+. This was all action and while the ending isn’t exactly inspiring (How many times can they do the same thing with these two?), this was the Big E. that fans have been wanting to cheer for a long time now. I could see this version getting a heck of a push and that is a rather appealing idea. Crews looked good too, but it isn’t going to matter if he keeps losing over and over.

Post match Crews stays on Big E. with an Angle Slam and stands over him, declaring himself the Intercontinental Champion.

A guy named Joseph Average is giving out Old Spice samples. R-Truth is in the samples case and Average wins the title by accident. Then R-Truth wins it back and runs off, picking up the samples on the way. Akira Tozawa shows up to yell at Average but gets freaked out by his Nightpanther shirt. The Average guy looked a lot like Ric Bugenhagen.

We look at Shane McMahon getting injured again.

Shane is in the ring with Elias and Jaxson Ryker for a Wrestlemania preview. Hold on though as Shane forgot to mention something: Elias is taking his place.

Braun Strowman vs. Elias

Strowman jumps him fast to start and the beating is on in a hurry. Elias gets knocked outside where he and Jaxson Ryker consider leaving, only to get run over by Strowman. Back in and a Ryker distraction lets Elias get in a chop block and DDT. The top rope elbow doesn’t work though and Strowman this the running powerslam for the pin at 3:44.

Rating: D. Well thank goodness we get to stretch out Shane vs. Strowman, because that is something worth waiting on. I’m still not sure why I should want to see that match but WWE is not about to let it go until (and possibly after) Wrestlemania. Strowman winning makes up a tiny bit of the mess from Raw but there is only so much good that can come from the whole thing.

We recap the Kickoff Show match with Retribution seemingly breaking up.

Riddle bumps into Shinsuke Nakamura and tries to get him into the business of dressing up a scooter like a stallion with a bubble machine. Then he tells a story about his cousin Skeeter the skater hurting himself at the skate park….but Nakamura has disappeared. Riddle leaves and Nakamura is back.

Seth Rollins vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Nakamura is standing up for Cesaro after Rollins took him out. Rollins’ headlock doesn’t last long to start as Nakamura fires off some knees to put him on the floor. Back in and Rollins knocks Nakamura to the floor for a change, allowing him to shout about disrespect. Some shots to the back keep Nakamura in trouble and we hit the waistlock. A knee drop gives Rollins two (via a pair of ones) but he stops to shout about Cesaro swinging him 22 times.

Rollins loads up his own Swing but Nakamura sends him outside for a baseball slide. A running knee sets up the kicks to Rollins’ chest, including Good Vibrations. The middle rope kick is cut off with a shove to the floor and there’s the suicide dive to send Nakamura into the barricade. Back in and Rollins hits the springboard knee to the head into the Sling Blade for two. The Falcon Arrow is blocked and they slug it out, including an exchange of kicks to the head.

Nakamura sends him into the corner for the sliding German suplex but Rollins is right back with a Falcon Arrow for two. Back up and Nakamura hits the Landslide into the reverse exploder for two more. Rollins misses a kick to the head but hooks his foot on Nakamura’s leg so he can use the other leg to kick him in the back of the head (that’s a new one). The Stomp finishes Nakamura at 12:59.

Rating: B-. That’s the match you would expect from these two as it was hard hitting with both guys beating each other up rather well. There was zero doubt as to who was winning as we know what Rollins is doing at Wrestlemania, but it was nice to have something other than just going through the motions. By far the best thing on the show so far.

Rhea Ripley is on Raw tomorrow.

We recap Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre, with a focus on how far they have both come in twenty years. They had been friends for that whole time but everything broke down because Sheamus wanted McIntyre’s WWE Title. They have fought twice since then and now it is No Holds Barred to decide the winner. There was some cool stuff from Europe in there to make this feel a lot more personal.

Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre

No Holds Barred and McIntyre has his face painted like the Scottish flag. Sheamus shouts (as someone has done in every match tonight) about twenty years to start so McIntyre suplexes him down. They’re on the floor in a hurry with McIntyre beating up against the announcers’ table but getting sent into the post. It’s time for the weapons, including a bunch of kendo sticks being thrown inside.

McIntyre takes too much time picking one up, allowing Sheamus to knock it into his face. Some stick shots to the back have McIntyre in trouble but he headbutts Sheamus down. Now it’s McIntyre’s turn to hammer away with the stick to send Sheamus outside. McIntyre follows but gets sent into the steps, which Sheamus then uses to hit him in the face. They fight to the announcers’ table with Sheamus being sent into the barricade and then into what would be the crowd.

The slugout is on until Sheamus muscles him over with a suplex. They fight into the stands with Sheamus not being able to hit White Noise. Instead Sheamus is sent through some of the screens for some sparks and glares from Drew. It’s back to ringside with McIntyre hitting another suplex on the floor to knock him even sillier. Sheamus is right back up with a Brogue kick but seems to be badly favoring his hip.

After shouting that Drew kept him from Wrestlemania, Sheamus hits White Noise from the barricade through the announcers’ table for the huge crash. They get back inside with Sheamus holding a piece of the busted table. That takes too long though as McIntyre hits him in the face and grabs the Futureshock. The Claymore finishes Sheamus at 19:40.

Rating: B. It went a bit long but they beat the fire out of each other and had some rather nice big spots. That’s about all you could have expected here as I don’t think there was any realistic expectation that Sheamus would win. This was about beating each other up for a long time and what we got here. Good stuff, and exactly what it should have been.

We recap Alexa Bliss vs. Randy Orton. Bliss is mad that Orton lit the Fiend on fire to get rid of him and started using evil powers on him. Tonight, she has offered Orton the chance to get rid of her for good.

Randy Orton vs. Alexa Bliss

The black goo starts coming out of Orton’s mouth during the entrance so he…..demands a towel. Bliss comes out and stands across the ring for the bell, so Orton charges into a wall of flames. Orton misses a charge into the post and the slow motion chase is on. Then a lighting truss falls and nearly crushes Orton, with Bliss saying it was so close.

Bliss sits on the bottom rope and Orton slowly gets back inside where Bliss blows a kiss….and throws a fireball at him. That misses so Bliss sits on the top rope as the ring splits open (seemingly with fire underneath it) and a gloves hand grabs Orton’s leg. The Fiend, now with a charred mask and clothes, pops out. Bliss kicks Orton into Sister Abigail and gets the pin at 4:39.

Rating: D. This wasn’t exactly a match and the ending is their latest venture into a horror movie. What else were you expecting here though? It was all about bringing the Fiend back so we can have the Firefly Fun House match at Wrestlemania, but I’m not exactly thrilled by Randy Orton’s Nightmare On Elm Street.

On Talking Smack, Paul Heyman promised more Roman Reigns destruction at Fastlane.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan. Reigns beat Bryan at Elimination Chamber immediately after Bryan had won the Elimination Chamber. As a result, Bryan wanted a rematch under slightly fairer conditions, which he ultimately earned. This did not sit well with Royal Rumble winner Edge, who thought Bryan getting a shot first was unfair. Edge is going to be the ringside enforcer here as well to make things more interesting. Edge’s complaints are pretty ridiculous as he is guaranteed a title shot no matter what, but we need some drama because Edge vs. Reigns isn’t very interesting.

Universal Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns is defending with Paul Heyman in his corner and Edge is the ringside enforcer. We get the Big Match Intros and the canned noise really favors Bryan. Reigns powers him into the corner to start and Bryan needs to rethink things. The threat of a kneebar sends Reigns bailing to the ropes so Bryan goes for both legs at once. That has Reigns in the ropes again but this time he looks a little more serious. A cross armbreaker has Reigns in the ropes for a third time in the early going and they continue to circle each other.

Reigns’ headlock takeover has Bryan down but he counters into a hammerlock and talks about the importance of technique. Back up again and Reigns hits him in the face to take over, which feels like admitting defeat in the grapple off. Bryan picks up the pace and loads up a running clothesline but charges into a tilt-a-whirl slam for two more. Reigns stomps Bryan down and grabs a chinlock while talking about how his isn’t going to be broken.

Bryan gets thrown outside, where Reigns glares at Edge and sends Bryan into the barricade. Back in and Reigns hammers him down into the corner and tells Bryan to look into the camera and acknowledge him. Bryan manages a few shots of his own though and there’s the running dropkick in the corner. The super hurricanrana is blocked though and Reigns gets him into a Boston crab of all things.

Bryan slips out and strikes away before managing to send Reigns outside. A running knee from the apron rocks Reigns and a top rope knee starts in on Reigns’ shoulder. The missile dropkick gives Bryan a delayed two and Reigns isn’t happy. He knocks Bryan into the corner and unloads with right hands and knees, followed by the stomping on the mat. Bryan is right back with some YES Kicks and the big one puts Reigns down.

The arm trap stomps set up the YES Lock in the middle of the ring and Bryan pulls it back from the ropes to crank on it again. Reigns finally turns it over and unloads with heavy shots to the face to knock Bryan silly. Hold on though as Reigns has to stop to rub his bad arm, allowing Bryan to come back with the running knee….and take out the referee by mistake.

Reigns hits the spear so Edge comes in for very delayed two. That’s not cool with Reigns so he yells at Edge, allowing Bryan to pull him into a triangle choke. Bryan pulls him down into the YES Lock but here’s Jey Uso to break it up and drop Edge. Uso grabs a chair but stops to send Edge shoulder first into the post. Bryan hits the running knee on Uso and chairs him down but Reigns is back up with the Superman Punch.

The spear is countered into the YES Lock though and Reigns is in big trouble. Reigns taps (very subtly to make it better) to no referee and Edge chairs Bryan over and over. Edge shouts that this is his and leaves as another referee comes in, about seven minutes after the first one went down, to count Reigns’ pin on Bryan at 30:00.

Rating: A. Well that was excellent. This was a near master class in storytelling as Bryan was slowly picking Reigns apart with technique and the never say die attitude but Reigns just bombarded him with one heavy shot after another. I would have loved for this to have headlined Wrestlemania but alas it was left here where it won’t get the attention that it deserves.

The ending was annoying (as Edge’s stuff for needing the big moment after winning the Royal Rumble from #1 continues to sound ridiculous) but I get what they are going for. They absolutely have to go with the triple threat now and that should be amazing. Watch this match and take notes because it is one of the best storytelling displays I have seen in a very long time.

Overall Rating: B+. The big matches delivered and the bad matches were kept short, with the main event being a half hour instant classic. I’m not sure what more you could ask for out of a low level show that was over in less than three hours. I had a great time with the main event and most of the rest of the show was very good as well. It means almost nothing in the grand scheme of things and most of Wrestlemania is set, but dang this had some fun moments. Heck of a show, and that isn’t the biggest surprise.

Results

Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler b. Bianca Belair/Sasha Banks – Rollup to Banks

Big E. b. Apollo Crews – Rollup

Braun Strowman b. Elias – Running powerslam

Seth Rollins b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Stomp

Drew McIntyre b. Sheamus – Brogue Kick

Alexa Bliss b. Randy Orton – Sister Abigail

Roman Reigns b. Daniel Bryan – Chair shot from Edge

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Fastlane 2021 Preview

I think we’ve talked enough about how unimportant this show is as even WWE has seemed to acknowledge it. They have gone out of their way to start advertising Wrestlemania already, mainly because it is taking place a mere three weeks after Fastlane. That is nowhere near enough time for a Wrestlemania build but at least they are doing something with it in advance. That means at the cost of Fastlane, but how many people are going to care? Let’s get to it.

Alexa Bliss vs. Randy Orton

Let’s get this out of the way early because this story has been awful. Odds are this is going to set up the return of the Fiend, or whatever the latest Bray Wyatt incarnation we’re getting, to get us to the final blowoff at Wrestlemania. I’ve been dreading this since the second they announced it because it is going to have a lot of supernatural shenanigans and that is not a good thing.

Since this is not likely to be a match but is billed as one anyway, I’ll take Bliss to “win”, as I can’t imagine Orton actually doing anything to her. I know it’s going to be bad and I don’t need to see it, but at least it’s better than watching Orton vs. the Fiend again….or at least I think it is. Anyway, Bliss wins the non-match.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler(c) vs. Bianca Belair/Sasha Banks

This is a tried and kind of true method of building towards a singles title match and thankfully we seem to have moved past the point of doing a title change here, as it would be one of the worse things that they could do. What worries me is the amount of Reginald that could be involved, because WWE REALLY wants to do that Jax Likes A Small Guy story for whatever reason.

I’ll take the champs to retain here, even though they have no other challengers and have done about all they can with the belts. Banks vs. Belair needs to be a story about the two of them instead of the two of them dealing with other people, so hopefully that is where we go after this match ends. I’m not sure what to expect going forward, but these stories need to be split up already.

Shane McMahon vs. Braun Strowman

Why? What did we do to deserve this, which very well may set up a rematch at Wrestlemania? I know Shane is a McMahon and that makes him one of the stars of the show, but it does not make him fun to watch in the ring. McMahon has been the face in this story since the beginning and watching him outsmart Strowman and beat him up on Monday didn’t help things.

For the sake of my sanity, I’ll take Strowman here, but I don’t think I have much of a reason to believe that is correct. There is little reason for this match to take place other than getting Shane in the ring again and the green slime deal did not make things any better. We’re pretty much down to hoping for a miracle with this one and that is not a good place to be.

US Title: Riddle(c) vs. Mustafa Ali

Redemption almost has to be coming to an end sooner or later a they have been on fumes for the entirety of their run. Maybe they get a boost if Ali can win the title here, but it’s not like anything else they have done has worked so far. The team is so far removed from its original identity that they don’t really even have characters anymore, so winning a title might give them a little something to focus on.

That being said, I can’t imagine they take the title off of Riddle so soon so I’ll go with him retaining and furthering Retribution’s problems. At the very least it would be nice to see Mace and T-Bar turned into a tag team as they could give New Day some issues in a hurry. That’s a little ways off though, as Ali has to lose to Riddle first, which is what I see happening here.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Seth Rollins

This was added during this week’s Smackdown and that means you should be able to see the path to Wrestlemania from here. Nakamura is standing up for Cesaro after Rollins took him out the previous week, like any good friend should be doing. That will likely set up Rollins vs. Cesaro at Wrestlemania, but first we have to get through this one and it should be a fun one.

There is no reason for Nakamura to win here so I’ll take Rollins as he gears up for Tampa and Cesaro. Maybe we can get the good Nakamura here instead of the coasting version, but given how he is feeling in this story, can you blame him for not exactly being thrilled? We might even have a great one in there, but I’m not exactly getting my hopes up for it this time.

Intercontinental Title: Big E.(c) vs. Apollo Crews

I want to like this one and there is a chance that we can get a good match, but everything will fall apart again as soon as Crews starts talking. I know that it is nice for him to have a character, but the combination of Coming To America and Black Panther accent is hurting what would otherwise be an interesting character. Big E. has sold the emotions while still taking a beating, so the potential is there.

I’ll take Big E. to retain here as I can’t imagine they take the title off of him that soon. Throw in the fact that Crews sounds so out there and it is hard to imagine the title changing hands. Crews is better than he was about a year ago, but I have no idea how far they think he is going to go without some adjustments. The talent is there, but as usual with WWE, they aren’t quite hitting the presentation.

Drew McIntyre vs. Sheamus

This is No Holds Barred and the Raw main event of the show. That’s not the worst idea in the world as these two have had some pretty awesome matches so far and I could go for watching them beat the fire out of each other on pay per view. There is a slight chance of throwing a monkey wrench into the McIntyre vs. Lashley Wrestlemania title match but that might be a stretch.

I’ll go with McIntyre here, but I can’t shake the feeling that they might try something. Lashley interfering would make some sense, though I’m not sure if that would change what they have already announced. We could be in for a heck of a fight here though and these two have shown some outstanding chemistry together. Let them do their thing and have the match of the night though, because that’s what they could do here.

Universal Title: Roman Reigns(c) vs. Daniel Bryan

Now here we have the match where I really hope they do change something around, because this should be Wrestlemania. Bryan has made me believe in him all over again with those awesome promos on Friday and it would be great to see him get the chance to do his thing one more time on the big stage. Unfortunately we are getting Edge instead, and he will be ringside this time as the outside enforcer.

I really want to say that they’ll pull a surprise here (not necessarily a title change, but something that brings Bryan into Wrestlemania) but I don’t think they will. Edge will get involved in the finish and I could go for him trying to spear Jey Uso and hitting Bryan to cost him the title. That’s pure fantasy booking, but Reigns isn’t losing here and he’ll retain the title on his way to Tampa.

Overall Thoughts

The potential is there. This show feels like it could be rather good based on the complete lack of expectations coming into it and that is not a bad thing. There is little reason to care about the show but if the action and storytelling are both there, we could be in for a nice night. Odds are they are going to be in and out quickly as has been the case with most B level pay per views as of late, so for once we can call this cautious optimism.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Main Event – January 28, 2021: The Wrong Stuff

Main Event
Date: January 28, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Samoa Joe, Tom Phillips

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble, which is going to mean absolutely nothing around here. Odds are we have already gotten just about everything we are going to get for the Royal Rumble and that means it is going to be the run of the mill Main Event. In other words, this could be rather weak so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Humberto Carrillo vs. Angel Garza

The lockup doesn’t go anywhere so Garza pulls him down by the hair. A headlock works a bit better for Carrillo and a slingshot armdrag has Garza in more trouble. There’s a crossbody for two on Garza but a running dropkick puts Carrillo on the floor. That breather lets Garza TAKE OFF HIS PANTS and ties up Carrillo’s legs back inside. Carrillo slugs away but gets pulled into the Wing Clipper to give Garza the pin at 5:08.

Rating: C-. I still have no idea why Garza isn’t either on the main roster or down in NXT. Somehow they have managed to stick him around here every single week after having what felt like something interesting (work with me here) with him talking to the camera with the rose. Not a bad match, but how many times can you see these two fighting?

We look at Adam Pearce signing Roman Reigns to a Last Man Standing match and swapping Kevin Owens in for him.

From Smackdown.

Here are Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman for an opening chat. Reigns laughs off the idea of Card Subject To Change because Adam Pearce swapped himself out of the title match. You won’t be seeing Kevin Owens here tonight Reigns doesn’t want him here. Reigns comes here and goes to work because that’s what he does. He even put his health in danger, but what if he gets hurt? Man his back and neck have been bothering him lately. His ankles have been messed up since college. What if he just said his back was hurting too badly to wrestle at the Royal Rumble?

Cue Pearce to say this has gotten out of hands. Reigns doesn’t want to hear it and says Pearce needs to make his way back into the title scene. Pearce doesn’t buy that but Reigns says that Pearce can’t handle this. He hasn’t had a match in six years because he doesn’t have the heart. Maybe that’s why he never made it to the WWE.

Reigns and Heyman take this as disrespect, which means Pearce is disrespecting the family. Therefore, Heyman wants to do something about it and challenges Pearce to a fight. Heyman, citing his status as a New Yorker, says he will whip Pearce’s a**. Pearce says it’s on and Reigns promises Pearce is getting whipped too. See, I think we all know where this is going, but it’s still fun to see how it goes down the obvious path.

From later in Smackdown.

Paul Heyman vs. Adam Pearce

Pearce is in workout gear and Heyman, in his suit, tapes his fist on the way to the ring. Hold on though as Heyman tweaks his ankle on the steps and goes down. The referee checks on him but Heyman says “CARD SUBJECT TO CHANGE.” And yes indeed here’s Roman Reigns to hit the Superman Punch to send Pearce to the floor.

Reigns hits him low and sends him into the fan screens before taking him up to the stands like he did to Kevin Owens. Speaking of Owens, here he is in a hoodie to beat on Reigns. Owens is sent into the barricade and they head inside, where Owens nails a Stunner. Referees come out as Owens takes him outside again and beats on Reigns some more. A Stunner on the floor drops Reigns again and the Pop Up powerbomb puts him through the announcers’ table to end the show.

From Raw.

Here is Drew McIntyre to get things going. Drew is rather emotional to be back here and thanks everyone who sent him well wishes. The virus is a horrible thing but we are going to get through it together. Speaking of things we will get through, this Sunday it is going to be Drew McIntyre vs. Bill Goldberg for the WWE Title. Goldberg was 173-0 in WCW and ran through the Rock like he was nothing….and then he disappeared.

The last thing to go in a heavyweight fighter is his power but Goldberg has started a new streak. Every champion he has challenged since returning to WWE has gone down but on Sunday, Drew is ending the streak. Cue Miz and John Morrison to mock the idea of King Kong vs. Godzilla on Sunday because one of them could wind up injured after the match. That opens a door for a Money in the Bank cash-in because whoever wins is going to be a sitting duck.

Miz promises to win the title but here’s Goldberg to cut them off. Goldberg: “You, me, Sunday, you’re next.” The staredown is on so Miz and Morrison make some jokes from the apron, earning themselves a double beatdown, with Miz taking the spear and Morrison getting Claymored. Another staredown ensues as I beg of WWE to end the Miz thing on Sunday because it is managing to hurt a story that had almost nothing going for it in the first place.

Ricochet/Jeff Hardy vs. Jaxson Ryker/Elias

Ricochet and Elias start things off with Ricochet nailing an early dropkick. Hardy comes in and gets to armdrag Ryker into an early armbar. An ax handle to the back gives Hardy one but Ryker muscles him up with a slam. Everything breaks down for a bit with the villains being sent outside as we take a break. Back with Ricochet fighting out of the corner but Ryker grabs a backbreaker to keep him in trouble. Elias’ sitout chokeslam gets two and a spinning suplex is good for the same.

We go old school with a camel clutch but Ricochet fights up and slips out of a suplex. The hot tag brings in Hardy to clean house but Ryker bails from the threat of a Twist of Fate. Ricochet tags himself in as Ryker pulls Hardy to the floor, setting up a springboard high crossbody for two on Elias. Ryker comes back in though and it’s the swinging Boss Man Slam to finish Ricochet at 11:42.

Rating: C. So Elias and Ryker are one of the many teams who were having problems almost immediately after they got together but at least they were good enough to pin Ricochet. I have no idea why Ricochet and Hardy were a team together on Main Event, but they got to lose to a midcard team like Elias and Ryker. This company amazes me at times and that’s not a good thing.

Edge joins us for the first time in several months to talk about how you aren’t guaranteed tomorrow. Ten years ago, he went to Wrestlemania XXVII and left as champion. Then he lost everything because of his neck and took nine years to get back. He remembers telling his mom that he wanted to be a wrestler and she told him you have to go do it.

With that in mind, he is entering the Royal Rumble. He doesn’t have much time left so he is going to fight with everything he has to make this far fetched dream come true. If you have been with him on this ride until now, you have to try. A world without dreamers and fighters is a much less magical place. He quotes Henry Ford, who said if you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right. Edge thinks he can, and he’ll see us at the Royal Rumble.

Women’s Title: Asuka vs. Alexa Bliss

Bliss is challenging in a rematch from last week. Asuka takes her down into an armbar to start but misses the hip attack. Bliss kicks her to the floor….and then gets on the rocking horse that appears in the ring. Back from a break with Bliss fighting out of a chinlock and getting kicked in the face. Asuka hits another kick in the corner but Bliss’ old music starts playing and now she has her regular gear on (and longer hair).

Bliss sends Asuka face first into the corner and then the lights go out, with Bliss going into the other corner. She does Bray Wyatt’s lean backwards and becomes Fiend Bliss. Asuka’s knee to the face just annoys Bliss and the Asuka Lock but Bliss powers out of it. The Mandible Claw goes on but here’s Randy Orton with red makeup because this company doesn’t know how burns work either for an RKO to Bliss and the no contest at 12:33.

Rating: F. I like Randy Orton, I like Alexa Bliss and I like Asuka. If you put all three of those people into a match and angle, I should like the product. Instead, this was like an eight year old on a sugar rush saying “And then this happens and then this happens but it doesn’t count and then this happens and then the show is over.” They had part of a match and then it was something about a horse and a goddess walking into an RKO. I would say I probably got some of the details wrong in there, but I don’t think there were any details involved in the first place.

Overall Rating: D-. All this show did was focus on everything but the Royal Rumble and that’s not the kind of thing that I wanted to see. The main event angle is still horrible and seeing Ricochet and Hardy, a pair of guys who could do some rather good things on Raw, losing here made it worse. Some of the highlights were positives but everything else just dragged this show down deep into the dirt.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – February 1, 2021: Monday Night Smackdown

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 1, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton

We’re done with the Royal Rumble and that means we only have two more pay per views to go before Wrestlemania because Elimination Chamber and Fastlane both need to be things. Edge won the men’s Royal Rumble and has a decision to make, which very well may come tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here is the Royal Rumble if you need a recap.

Here’s Drew McIntyre to get things going. Drew talks about how we are on the road to Wrestlemania and goes over how great each match was last night. Cue Edge to interrupt him though and McIntyre praises him for everything Edge did for him over the years. Drew was here when Edge had to retire and then he was in the Rumble last year when Edge returned.

Edge says he likes Drew but what is wrong with him? Winning the Rumble last night means that Edge can challenge Drew for the title. So why isn’t Drew kicking his head off right now? Cue Sheamus to interrupt and ask Edge who he is to question Drew. Edge has been sitting at home while Drew carried this company all year. Drew may take the high road but that’s not what Sheamus is going to do.

Edge won last night, so he can make a decision or Drew can do it for him. That isn’t happening tonight, but everyone will know when he makes his decision. Either way though, Edge is walking out of Wrestlemania SA champion. Edge leaves, and Sheamus Brogue Kicks McIntyre, likely setting up the Elimination Chamber title match.

Post break, Sheamus says he and Drew aren’t friends anymore and he wants the WWE Title. Drew Gulak is waiting with Sheamus’ bags and Sheamus leaves.

US Title: Riddle vs. Bobby Lashley

Riddle is challenging and MVP is here with Lashley. They start fast with Riddle getting caught in a delayed suplex but managing a hurricanrana to the floor. There’s the Floating Bro from the apron and Lashley is in more trouble. Back in and Lashley grabs the Hurt Lock over the ropes but Lashley doesn’t break for the DQ at 1:48 (Riddle seemed to tap anyway).

Post match Lashley grabs the Hurt Lock again to knock Riddle out, with MVP telling Lashley that he went too far. Lashley grabs it for a third time and drops Riddle onto the barricade.

We look back at Asuka and Charlotte losing the Women’s Tag Team Titles to Shayna Baszler and Nia Jax last night.

Bad Bunny is here.

Back from a break and Riddle doesn’t even remember who he was facing.

Randy Orton can’t believe Edge pulled it off last night but the bigger problem is Edge made Orton look like a liar. See, Orton had promised that Edge wouldn’t be back but here he is again. Orton beat Edge up time after time because he loves him like a brother and tried to get him out of this business. Edge isn’t going to main event Wrestlemania because tonight there will be no mercy or compassion. They meet tonight.

Kofi Kingston is here with Xavier Woods tonight when Woods faces Ali and Retribution again.

Mustafa Ali vs. Xavier Woods

Retribution and Kofi Kingston are here too. Ali punches him down to start but gets clotheslined out to the floor for his efforts. Back in and Ali grabs a running neckbreaker, followed by a running neckbreaker for two more. Woods fights back up and strikes away before swinging into a Russian legsweep to drop Ali again. Ali is right back up but can’t hit the tornado DDT. T-Bar breaks up a pin attempt so Kofi goes after him, allowing Woods to grab a crucifix to pin Ali at 4:07.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here as Retribution takes another loss after going on a nice mini winning streak. I know this is leading to Kofi vs. Ali at some point, but it might be nice to build Ali up a little bit rather than tearing down any minor thing he builds up. The match was fine and at least the finish wasn’t entirely clean, but let Ali have a winning streak.

Damian Priest and Bad Bunny are chatting in the back.

We look back at the opening sequence.

Here are Miz and John Morrison for MizTV. They get straight to the point this week and bring out Bad Bunny as the guest. We look at Bad Bunny’s performance last night, plus Miz and Morrison getting on his nerves, causing him to dive on them in the Royal Rumble. Back in the ring Bunny confirms that he wants to be a wrestler, so Miz talks about mentoring Daniel Bryan to all of their success.

They’ll help Bunny get into wrestling if he helps them record an album. Miz: “We get Grammys and you get Slammys.” Morrison samples a bit of their Spanish rapping abilities but Bunny isn’t interested. Miz goes on a rant about how this is their ring but Bunny says he’s only here because his friend wants to be a guest. Cue Damian Priest to take out Miz and Morrison and we have a match.

Damian Priest vs. The Miz

Priest wastes no time in knocking Miz to the floor for the step up flip dive to take out both Miz and Morrison. Back in and Miz fights back but Priest isn’t having that and hits the running elbow in the corner. The Broken Arrow gets two but a Morrison distraction lets Miz get in a cheap shot. Miz goes for the briefcase but Bunny takes it away. Bunny hands it to Morrison and hits him with the microphone. The Reckoning finishes Miz at 4:26.

Rating: C. This was about establishing Priest and if having Bad Bunny as his friend helps that along then so be it. I don’t know anything about Bunny but he seems to be quite the big deal in the music world at the moment. If that helps Priest along then great, because Priest is the kind of guy who could be a heck of a star on Raw. A good debut helps that and it worked out well enough here.

Long video on Alexa Bliss going all evil.

Tag Team Titles: Hurt Business vs. Lucha House Party

The Hurt Business is defending and MVP is on commentary. MVP ignores a question about Lashley to talk about Bad Bunny before saying he has never seen Lashley go that far before (MVP: “But I like it.”). Shelton throws Dorado around to start but gets kicked in the face. Metalik comes in off of Dorado’s shoulders and (eventually) gets in a hurricanrana to take Benjamin over. Everything breaks down in a hurry and the House Party knocks the champs to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Shelton hitting a gutbuster for two on Dorado, with MVP shouting “GO BACK TO THE RIBS”. Some knees in the corner keep Dorado in trouble but he finally knocks Shelton down long enough to get over for the tag to Metalik. The pace picks up with a rope walk hurricanrana to Alexander. Dorado dives onto Shelton, who catches him out of the air, meaning Metalik has to dive onto both of them. Back in and Metalik rolls Alexander up for two but Alexander runs him over. Shelton tags himself in again though and Paydirt finishes Metalik to retain the titles at 11:13.

Rating: C. Hey, did you know that Alexander and Benjamin are champions who don’t get along? I’m not sure if WWE has pounded that into your head well enough by doing the same thing every single week since they won the belts in the first place. Throw in MVP questioning Lashley earlier in the night and I’m a bit scared about the Hurt Business’ future.

We look at Charlotte and Asuka losing the Tag Team Titles again.

Charlotte is focused on winning the Tag Team Titles and takes the blame for getting distracted by Ric Flair and Lacey Evans. Asuka is frustrated over the loss because she was ready last night. Charlotte says it’s time to get the titles back.

Charlotte/Asuka vs. Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke vs. Naomi/Lana

The winners get a future Tag Team Title shot. We get an inset promo from Lana and Naomi, with Lana giving one of the most scripted, forced, unnatural statements ever about how they’re a team. Naomi isn’t much better, but that Lana one was as rigid as I can remember in a long time. Charlotte runs Naomi over to start so Mandy and Asuka tag themselves in. Both of them try dropkicks so Mandy grabs a rollup for two.

Lana and Dana tag themselves in and oh dear. Lana misses a few kicks to the face and gets sent into the corner for the handspring elbow. Mandy and Brooke clear the ring and we take an early break. Back with Charlotte grabbing the Figure Four necklock and rolling Dana over for a tag off to Mandy. Charlotte gets taken into the corner but escapes a double suplex without much effort. Asuka comes in for the running hip attack to Rose in the corner, followed by the Shining Wizard for two.

It’s quickly back to Charlotte to run Lana over for a few near falls but Lana reverses a powerbomb into a hurricanrana. Naomi gets the hot tag and starts to clean house before it’s back to Lana, who is promptly kicked in the face. Everything breaks down with a parade of shots to the head. Natural Selection drops Dana….and here are Ric Flair and Lacey Evans for another distraction. Charlotte goes after them so Naomi hits the Rear View to finish Asuka at 11:10.

Rating: C-. Well at least Mandy and Dana didn’t take another fall, and since the idea of Charlotte taking back to back falls is horrible and atrocious, Asuka was the only other sacrificial lamb. Thank goodness we’re picking up the Lana vs. Jax feud again though, because that needed to keep going after the six week break. Otherwise we might have left dozens of people waiting for the big culmination.

A sad Drew McIntyre talks about his ten year friendship with Sheamus, including the two of them spending Christmas together in a diner because they had no one else. If Sheamus wants the match, he has it. No date given.

Video on Carlito.

Jaxson Ryker/Elias vs. Jeff Hardy/Carlito

Carlito takes Elias down to start and it’s off to Hardy to go after the arm. It’s off to Ryker for two off a suplex and Elias comes back in to elbow Hardy in the back. Carlito gets knocked off the apron to keep him angry as Elias hits a sitout chokeslam for two on Hardy. Ryker misses a middle rope splash though and it’s back to Carlito to start cleaning house. A faceplant cuts that off so Elias comes back in and rolls Carlito up for two. Carlito flips out of a suplex though and hits the Backstabber, setting up Hardy’s Swanton to finish Elias at 5:53.

Rating: C. I was never a big Carlito fan but he looks a heck of a lot better this time around, at least physically. If he can put in the effort and try to make another run work, WWE might have picked up a hidden gem. He looked pretty good here, though that was in a rather small dose. Not bad though, and that’s a fine way to start your run back.

Long video on Edge’s retirement, return and feud with Randy Orton setting up last night’s Royal Rumble win.

Edge talks about how great it was to come back last night and get this far, but there has always been a black cloud hanging over both himself and his family. That black cloud is Randy Orton and tonight he is going to deal with it so he can go back to Wrestlemania and get back a title he never lost. Tonight he gets closure on why he can’t carry his daughters to bed or play soccer with them because he’s finishing things with Orton.

Nikki Cross vs. Alexa Bliss

Cross asks Bliss what she wants from her and takes her down with a headlock. Bliss slips out and smiles at Cross, who runs her over with a crossbody. Back up and Bliss pops her with a right hand, meaning it’s a bit of a cheer before Bliss gets two. After a “well shucks/fiddlesticks” look from Bliss, she steps on Cross’ back and then sends her face first into the mat a few times.

A bit of hopscotch into a kick to the ribs gets two more and we hit a bodyscissors. Back up and Sister Abigail is broken up….and then Bliss turns back into the Goddess. Bliss says it’s her and offers a hug but gets kicked in the ribs, followed by a clothesline. Then it’s back into Funhouse Bliss so the smiles are on again. Sister Abigail into a DDT finishes Cross at 6:43.

Rating: D. Remember when Mick Foley had the Three Faces Of Foley and would transform from one personality to another when he was pushed too far or became comfortable enough that another could come out? Well screw all of that because what one of the most creative gimmicks of all time really needed was magic that let him change his look, style and gear in the blink of an eye. I’m a bigger Bliss fan than most but egads this is getting really, really annoying. Bring crowds back just to get rid of this nonsense.

Bliss goes to leave post match but runs into Randy Orton on the way to the ring for the main event.

Randy Orton vs. Edge

Edge goes straight at him to start and hammers away, setting up the standing choke that he used back in April. Orton breaks that up and chokes him down in the corner, followed by more choking on the rope. Edge snaps off a quick Edgecution for two but the spear is countered into a scoop powerslam. They take it outside with Orton sending him into the steps and we take a break.

Back with Edge in trouble but hitting a clothesline out of the corner. The RKO is countered into the Edge O Matic for two and Edge knocks him off the apron into the barricade. Edge follows and gets poked in the eye, allowing Orton to drop him onto the announcers’ table. Back in and Orton sends him throat first into the bottom rope, followed by the hanging DDT. And now Alex Bliss is on the top rope with black fluid spilling out of her mouth. The spear finishes Orton at 16:02.

Rating: C+. These two always work well together and that was the case again here, even with whatever Bray Wyatt’s latest idea with Bliss is, even if no one but him has any idea what is going on. Edge is going on to something bigger and better at Wrestlemania so it’s nice that he can put the Orton thing behind him rather than having some other big pay per view match between them. I wouldn’t be shocked to see that happen again, but at least they gave Edge the win here.

Overall Rating: C-. This show wasn’t great, but it was still one of the best Raw’s in a long time due to cutting out a lot of the nonsense and having something to build towards over the next few weeks. Throw in Miz and Morrison being confined to the midcard where they belong at the moment and WAY less of the Bliss/Orton shenanigans and it was a lot easier to watch. Not a good show, but by comparison, it worked wonders (in other words, Smackdown on Monday).

Results

Riddle b. Bobby Lashley via DQ when Lashley would not let go of the Hurt Lock in the ropes

Xavier Woods b. Mustafa Ali – Crucifix

Damien Priest b. The Miz – Reckoning

Hurt Business b. Lucha House Party – Paydirt to Metalik

Naomi/Lana b. Dana Brooke/Mandy Rose and Charlotte/Asuka – Rear View to Asuka

Carlito/Jeff Hardy b. Elias/Jaxson Ryker – Swanton to Elias

Alexa Bliss b. Nikki Cross – Sister Abigail DDT

Edge b. Randy Orton – Spear

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2018 (2019 Redo): A Three Headed Monster

Royal Rumble 2018
Date: January 28, 2018
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,629
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T., Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

It’s hard to believe that a year has passed since this show as I can barely remember most of the card. This show features the first ever all women’s Royal Rumble, which really is quite the milestone. Now of course they had to bring in a bunch of legends/former wrestlers who aren’t legends but are called such to fill in the lineup, but there are worse things to do. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Kalisto/Gran Metalik/Lince Dorado vs. TJP/Jack Gallagher/Drew Gulak

They aren’t the Lucha House Party yet but they’re the Lucha House Party. As usual, the arena is still mostly empty because we need to be having a match an hour and a half before the show starts. Kalisto and Gulak start things off with a weak POWERPOINT chant annoying Drew. The announcers talk about the upcoming 205 Live General Manager as Kalisto twists the knee around into something like a reverse Figure Four. Gulak rolls out so it’s Metalik and Gallagher (in his suit of course) coming in instead.

A quick takedown sends Gallagher outside where he insists a fan not boo him. TJP comes in and that earns him a triple dab from the House Party. We settle down to TJP and Dorado exchanging wristlocks until Kalisto comes in for a headlock. The pace picks up again but this time it’s Gulak coming in and flying over the top to the floor. All three luchadors get on the top and it’s a triple moonsault to the floor to pop the dozens of fans in attendance.

Back from a break with TJP dropkicking Dorado out of the air so the heat segment can begin. Gallagher hits a surfboard double stomp on the knees and it’s off to a leg crank. Gulak stomps away and it’s back to TJP to look annoyed at Dorado for not staying down. Instead it’s Gallagher going to the middle rope and looking terrified, allowing Dorado to roll away. After a quick lecture, Gulak comes in as Metalik gets the hot tag to pick up the pace. The rope walk elbow gets two as everything breaks down. The double Golden Rewind sets up a big double dive from Metalik for two on Gulak. A quick Salida Del Sol finishes TJP at 13:13.

Rating: C. For the life of me I don’t get the point in having these matches this early. There’s no one there and while the action was fine, it’s not like there’s anyone to react to them. They had a nice match here though with the dives taking them wherever they wanted to go. 205 Live was still figuring out a bunch of things but the match worked well enough because people who can fly around are always going to be worth a look.

The crowd has filled in now.

Kickoff Show: Luke Gallows/Karl Anderson vs Revival

What a lack of a difference a year makes. Revival is fresh off getting beaten up by a bunch of legends Dawson chops at Anderson in the corner until a dropkick gets him out of trouble. Dawson makes a tag from the floor (not sure if you can do that) and the distraction lets him rake Gallows’ eyes, though it doesn’t really do much. The threat of a right hand sends Revival outside and we take a break. Back with Dawson snapping Anderson’s knee over the middle rope to give the Revival a target.

Anderson gets double teamed in the corner as the announcers ignore the match to talk about Brock Lesnar. The leglocking begins so Anderson kicks him square in the jaw for the break. That’s always going to work but it’s not enough to get the hot tag off to Gallows. Another kick away allows the tag to Gallows so the pace can pick up. House is cleaned but the Magic Killer is broken up as Anderson comes back in for some reason. Anderson is fine enough to hit a kick to the head in the corner, only to have a chop block finish Anderson at 9:14.

Rating: C. Another match that only served as filler for the sake of filling time, which is one of the most annoying things you can have. It’s a match that didn’t need to exist and only served to burn off a little more of the crowd’s energy before we get to the matches that actually matter. The match was fine, though just another match that didn’t serve much of a purpose.

Kickoff Show: US Title: Bobby Roode vs. Mojo Rawley

Open challenge it seems. Roode is defending, having won the title less than two weeks ago. Before the match, Roode talks about winning the title and being the Glorious One. Rawley plants him with a shoulder but Roode is right back with a hard clothesline. A Russian legsweep gets two but it’s way too early for a Glorious DDT. Instead Rawley sends him outside and into the barricade for two as we take a break. Back with Roode still in trouble as Rawley drives knees into the ribs.

We hit the chinlock until Roode belly to back suplexes his way to freedom. The Blockbuster is countered but Roode slips off and grabs a neckbreaker for two more. Now the Blockbuster gets two but the Glorious DDT is broken up again. A spinebuster gives Rawley two and he sends Roode shoulder first into the post. The running right hand is blocked with a boot though and the (not very) Glorious DDT retains the title at 7:37.

Rating: D+. I for one am very glad that we had to sit through this as well, with Roode barely breaking a sweat to retain the title in a match that was never in doubt. Roode isn’t exactly thrilling as a face but even worse is the fact that he got stuck with the US Title of Death, which has hurt just about everyone it’s touched for a long time now.

The opening video talks about the opportunity for all, both in the Royal Rumbles and in the triple threat. Thankfully the rest of the card gets some time as well, even if Brock Lesnar still looms over everyone.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

Owens and Zayn are challenging in a handicap match as part of the Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon love/hate Owens/Zayn story which was more about Shane than anyone else. I miss Sami’s heel stuff as he really is someone you want to see get punched in the face. Owens lets Sami start but he tags right back out. It’s another tag a few seconds later as they’re clearly filling in time here. That’s not a complaint as there’s only so much that can be realistically done in a match like this.

AJ takes Owens down without much effort so Kevin slides to the floor and tags Sami in from the floor to a rather nice reaction. Sami headlocks AJ for little avail as Saxton GOES OFF on Graves in the most emotional outburst I’ve ever heard from him. A cheap shot lets Owens take over on AJ with a hard whip into the corner getting two. They head outside (Owens: “We’ll play outside!”) with AJ being whipped ribs first into the barricade.

Back in and Sami grabs a quickly broken chinlock, allowing AJ to come back up slugging away at Owens. A missed Cannonball in the corner bangs up Owens’ knee to put him down for a bit, allowing AJ to pull Sami off the top for a breather. Owens tries to come back in but can’t do much on the knee, meaning it’s back to Sami who charges into a boot in the corner.

The moonsault into the reverse DDT plants Sami but Owens is back up again. This time he throws AJ out of the corner but Styles catches Sami in a hurricanrana to send him outside. AJ grabs the Calf Crusher on Owens until Sami dives in for save. Owens, with his knee fine in a hurry, misses a charge into the post but is still able to superkick AJ into the Blue Thunder Bomb for a close two. Not exactly Sweet Chin Music into the Pedigree in the Cell but not bad. Important note: Sami had pinned AJ with the Blue Thunder Bomb earlier in the week, so the move was suddenly a threat. The little things like that can go a long way.

AJ slips out of a superplex attempt and scores with the Phenomenal Forearm to Sami as Owens makes a save. Sami dives over to Owens for a tag and gets sent outside, leaving Owens’ Pop Up Powerbomb to be countered into a rollup to retain AJ’s title at 15:50. The replay shows that Sami might not have actually tagged, meaning AJ pinned the wrong man.

Rating: C+. This was only going to be so good as you can only make AJ be so much of an underdog before he wins. Owens and Zayn are a great heel act but they just lost almost clean to one guy. Yeah it’s AJ Styles, but that’s not exactly the best way to present them. It doesn’t help that it’s just part of a story involving Shane McMahon as a screwy boss, but you know we’re not escaping him anymore.

Wrestlemania ad. I forgot how sick I got of that song.

Sami and Kevin complain to Shane about what happened and he really doesn’t care.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin

Gable and Benjamin are challenging and this is 2/3 falls. Before the match, the Usos yell a lot about this being their house and how they’re going to win in the Uso Penitentiary. Shelton shoulders Jey down to start and Jey seems rather pleased. Gable comes in but a blind tag lets Jey come in and break up Rolling Chaos Theory. The challengers take a break on the floor before a chop block takes Jimmy’s knee out.

Shelton hits one of his own and it’s time to really work the knee over with a Robinsdale Crunch into a regular leglock. Some stereo running knees to the face drop Jimmy again and the charge continues to knock Jey off the apron as a bonus. Since WWE tends to do the same things over and over, the hot tag comes through a few seconds alter, allowing Jey to speed things up and hit a big dive to the floor.

Back in and a running hip attack in the corner looks to set up the Superfly Splash but Gable is up just in time. Some rollups get two as Shelton comes back in to load up a powerbomb. Chad has to dropkick Jimmy down instead though, leaving Shelton to powerbomb Jey into Jimmy instead. A good looking moonsault to the floor drops both Usos, though it’s not exactly enough to wake the fans up.

Rating: D+. The action wasn’t bad but what in the world was the point of the 2/3 falls stipulation? This was a watchable match but it wasn’t anything more than and the fans really didn’t care. I’m not sure what they were going for here and given that the whole show went over four hours, this really could have been cut to shave off nearly twenty minutes total.

Rumble By The Numbers. That never gets old.

Jerry Lawler comes out for commentary.

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals here, which has hit and miss results. Rusev is in at #1 and Finn Balor is in at #2. Aiden English does Rusev’s intro to a very, very strong reaction. You knew Philadelphia would be a Rusev Day town. Rusev wastes no time in trying to dumb Balor but has to take him down for an elbow instead. The running spinwheel kick cuts Balor off again and it’s Rhyno in at #3. Makes sense in the ECW Arena and I could go for Lawler making fun of ECW forever. Rhyno starts cleaning house and it’s already time for the ECW chants. Clotheslines abound until Rusev spinwheel kicks Rhyno down as well.

Baron Corbin is in at #4 because I couldn’t even avoid him back then. Corbin cleans a bit of the house and catches a charging Rhyno with Deep Six. That’s enough to toss Rhyno but Balor dumps Corbin a few seconds later to get us back to two. Corbin isn’t cool with that and pulls Balor to the floor (not eliminated) for a whip into the barricade. Rusev takes End of Days and everyone is down. Heath Slater is in at #5 and gets dropped on the ramp to put everyone down again.

Elias, with guitar of course, is in at #6 and since everyone is down, let’s have a song! See, now this makes some sense and is a proper way to fill in some time and keep things fresh. After a kick to Slater on the way down the ramp, Elias confirms that the people do indeed want to walk with Elias. You always have to make sure of course. The song is about spitting in the face of the Rocky Statue (TOO FAR!) but the countdown clock cuts him off and it’s Andrade Cien Almas (NXT Champion with Zelina Vega) in at #7. Now that’s a nice move and having it happen the night after he won a classic match makes it even better.

Almas wastes no time in hitting the running knees in the corner but the hammerlock DDT is broken up. Bray Wyatt is in at #8 and walks rather to the ring rather quickly. Before he gets in, he beats Slater up on the floor and sends him into the barricade, meaning Slater still hasn’t gotten in yet. Balor gets up and saves Elias from Sister Abigail but gets knocked down as it’s all Wyatt. Big E. is in at #9 but first, we need to have some pancakes. A single belly to belly drops Wyatt, only to have Rusev pop up with a superkick to Big E.

Tye Dillinger somehow gets #10 again….but hang on a second as Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens jumps him from behind so Sami can take his spot (while knocking Slater down again to continue the running gag). That gives us Rusev, Balor, Slater (on the floor), Elias, Almas, Wyatt, Big E. and Zayn. Nothing of note happens until Sheamus is in at #11 and he even throws Slater inside….and gets clotheslined out just as fast. Sheamus’ shocked face is rather good, though the fans aren’t happy when Wyatt eliminates Slater a few seconds later. Everyone is down again until Xavier Woods is in at #12 so 2/3 of New Day can start to clean house, thereby waking the crowd up a bit.

The fans get way into the countdown as Apollo Crews is in at #13, which should kill the crowd all over again. I’m not sure why they’re so quiet here but maybe they’re waiting for the big finish instead. Again not much happens and it’s Shinsuke Nakamura at #14 to fill up the ring even more. The fans are into Nakamura as he starts cleaning house, including the running knee in the corner to get rid of Zayn for old times’ sake.

Cesaro is in at #15 and gets to clean house as the fans get behind Rusev. They’re quite fickle in Philadelphia. Kofi Kingston is in at #16 and the New Day is at full strength. Apollo nearly gorilla presses Cesaro out but gets sent to the apron himself, allowing Cesaro to uppercut him out. Jinder Mahal is in at #17 because we’re just that lucky. Woods dropkicks him into the corner but gets knocked off the top for the elimination. We didn’t even get anything from the full New Day in the whole thing?

Mahal gets rid of Big E. as well and it’s Seth Rollins in at #18 to a nice reaction. Rollins monkey flips Cesaro out as at least they’re keeping the eliminations flowing. Mahal goes to dump Kofi but Woods is still on the floor, meaning Kofi can land on him instead of the floor. Big E. offers a plate of pancakes for the other foot and a nice case of hopping lets Kofi get back in, complete with Big E. and Woods launching him back in. Trouble in Paradise eliminates Mahal and it’s time to cover him in pancakes. With the celebration rolling, Almas hits Kofi with the hammerlock DDT to get rid of Kofi.

Woken Matt Hardy is in at #19 (King: “Oh brother.”) and he goes straight for Elias with the rams into the corner. Matt and Bray get together and eliminate Rusev, much to the fans’ annoyance. That’s it for the teamwork as they slug it out and then eliminate each other to really clear the ring a bit. John Cena is in at #20, giving us Balor, Elias, Almas, Nakamura, Rollins and Cena. The other five are waiting for Cena and stomp him down, because they’re rather smart. They don’t go for the elimination though, because their intelligence is short sighted.

Cena dumps Elias (because Cena always ruins Elias’ night) and the Hurricane is in at #21, much to Cena’s shock. The Hurri-chokeslam is easily countered into an AA to get rid of Hurricane, who is shocked as well. Aiden English is in at #22 but the fans would rather argue about Cena. Adam Cole, with bad ribs, is in at #23 and you know these fans are going to like him. Balor (hey he’s still in this) eliminates English and it’s Randy Orton in at #24. Cena shrugs off an RKO attempt so Almas takes it instead and gets thrown out as the amount of entrants stays at a nice pace.

Titus O’Neil is in at #25 but no one seems worried about him. At least they know their history. Titus does actually beat up Nakamura in the corner as Cena and Orton have their contractually obligated fight until Intercontinental Champion The Miz is in at #26. That means house can be cleaned, including the YES Kicks to Rollins and Cena. A Skull Crushing Finale keeps Cena down but Rollins superkicks Miz.

Rey Mysterio makes a surprise appearance at lucky #27, marking his first appearance with the company since the night after Wrestlemania XXX. The pace gets to pick up and Cole is eliminated off a headscissors. Miz eats a 619 and it’s Roman Reigns in at #28 to tick the fans off in a bad way. Almost everyone gets a right hand until it’s a showdown with Miz, who took Reigns’ Intercontinental Title on Raw earlier in the week.

Dolph Ziggler is in at #30 (Cole: “I thought he retired or something!” This was after Ziggler vacated the US Title and walked out without ever mentioning what he was doing. And now he’s right back, apparently saying that the US Title means nothing. Anyway the final group is Balor, Nakamura, Cena, Orton, Mysterio, Reigns, Goldust and Ziggler. Cena tries an AA on Ziggler, who flips out and lands on his leg, which probably should have counted as full on impact. Goldust scores with the snap powerslam but Ziggler easily puts him out with a superkick.

Some tuning up the band takes too long though and Ziggler is knocked to the apron so Balor can knock him out. They vacated the title to give Ziggler a two minute cameo. Well done indeed. We’re down to six and that’s a CRAZY deep field, with Nakamura being the least successful in WWE. Balor takes an AA and it’s a 619 to Reigns, followed by an RKO to Nakamura (Lawler: “COVER HIM! COVER HIM! Oh wait….”).

Reigns gets up with a Superman Punch to Orton for an elimination but it’s Mysterio with a double 619 to Reigns and Cena. Balor breaks up a springboard though and Mysterio is out to leave us with four. Everyone is down in a corner until it’s Cena vs. Nakamura and Reigns vs. Balor. Nakamura and Balor are knocked down so it’s a Reigns vs. Cena showdown but nothing happens before the other two are right back up. Nakamura’s running knee in the corner rocks Balor but he gets back in, only to get kicked square in the head.

Reigns is back up for a save this time and NOW we get Reigns vs. Cena for the big showdown. The slugout goes to Reigns but Balor gets up and starts firing off Sling Blades. Kinshasa is cut off with a running double stomp from Balor, only to have Cena pop up and throw Balor out to get us down to three. A Superman Punch puts Nakamura down but he’s right back up to kick Cena to the apron. Another knee sends Cena to the floor and we’re down to Nakamura vs. Reigns. I think you know who the fans are behind here.

They slug it out in the middle and it’s a Superman Punch to put Nakamura in trouble. Nakamura is sent to the apron but comes back with a triangle choke over the ropes. That’s rather stupid, though it’s also broken up with a powerbomb. The spear is cut off by a kick to the face and the middle rope knee to the face drops Reigns. Kinshasa gets blocked by a tackle to the face (called a spear) but the second attempt works just fine. Reigns is out on his feet and Nakamura tosses him out for the win at 1:05:29.

Rating: B-. This is one where you’re going to have to think about things for a bit. First and foremost, the winner is a fine choice. Nakamura hadn’t broken through yet and this is the kind of win that can help him do that (it didn’t, but it could have). Second, the last fifteen minutes or so with the final group was great stuff and full of drama as you could see anyone winning.

The problem is everything else, which isn’t terrible but it’s also not too great. The first part barely meant anything with just Balor being there from the beginning until the end. There were a few nice surprises and it doesn’t drag terribly or anything, but you really could skip about the first half hour and not miss much. It’s a completely watchable Rumble but it’s in the middle of the pack at best.

Post match Nakamura (or Shin as Cole keeps calling him because WWE likes to make Cole sound like an idiot) picks AJ Styles for Wrestlemania to really pop the crowd. Sounds awesome to me and for the most part, it was.

Next year’s Rumble is in Phoenix.

The bosses of the show trade bragging barbs. Watching a year later, I can’t believe how stupid these look now. WWE really thinks that we care about these stupid battling brand arguments. I have no idea why, but but that’s been their narrative for years. Stephanie says that no matter who wins the Women’s Royal Rumble, everyone will be surprised. That’s some nice foreshadowing.

We look at the KFC Colonel Sanders Rumble, with Ric Flair reenacting the 1992 Royal Rumble to win the whole thing. I still think this is some fever dream that they managed to record.

Raw Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Jason Jordan/Seth Rollins

Jordan and Rollins are defending after winning the belts on Christmas night. It’s pretty clear that Jordan is filling in for the injured Dean Ambrose and that’s not a bad thing. Rollins and Cesaro start things off with Rolling taking over off a flying mare (you don’t see that one very often). It’s off to Sheamus but a quick Cesaro distraction prevents Jordan from coming in, meaning Rollins is driven back into the corner.

An enziguri gets Rollins a breather as the crowd is eerily silent. Cesaro breaks up the hot tag attempt to Jordan and sends him into the post, leaving Rollins to hit a suicide dive on both challengers. The medics are out checking on Jordan, though that might be making sure he doesn’t fall asleep. Cesaro grabs a chinlock, which is the last thing this match could possibly need. Rollins fights up and tries the springboard but gets clotheslined down by Cesaro.

A Demolition Decapitator and a double backbreaker give the Bar two each and Rollins is in big trouble. Sheamus misses a charge into the post though, giving Rollins a breather as Jordan is STILL down. Rollins gets the Blockbuster on Cesaro, followed by the Falcon Arrow for two. Super White Noise is broken up and Jordan is finally on the apron for a tag. He immediately grabs his head though and tags himself out. That’s fine with the Bar, as the spike White Noise gets the titles back at 12:50.

Rating: D. As you probably guessed, this was Jordan’s last “match”. I know he wasn’t the most thrilling guy in the world, but he was getting the hang of things until his neck just gave out on him and there was no coming back. At least he got a nice run and there’s a very real chance that he could get back in the ring one day. It’s not exactly fair to call the match bad….but it was really quite bad and the fans were just gone in a terrible way.

Here’s what’s coming to the Network.

We recap the Universal Title match. Brock Lesnar is a monster, two other monsters are challenging for his title, Braun Strowman is really strong and broke some stuff.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Kane vs. Braun Strowman

Lesnar is defending. Braun starts fast with running splashes in the corner and a running dropkick to Brock, followed by a knee to his head. Brock then UNLOADS on Strowman with right hands which look a lot like receipts from a former UFC Heavyweight Champion rather than working punches. Lesnar shouts something that sounds like SLOW DOWN as Kane gets back up. Brock grabs a chair which is knocked into his face, followed by a toss out to the floor.

Some shots with the steps put Lesnar and Kane down and it’s time for a pair of tables inside. With one set up in the corner, Strowman chokeslams Kane for two with Lesnar making the save. Three rolling German suplexes….don’t do much to Strowman, who powerslams Lesnar through a table for two. Kane shoulders Strowman through the other table in the corner but again, Strowman is right up. A German suplex sends Lesnar outside but he’s fine enough to hit an F5 to send Strowman through the announcers’ table.

With that not being enough, Lesnar turns the other announcers’ table onto Strowman, literally burying him. Another F5 sends Kane through the other announcers’ table, because we need three of them at ringside. Strowman is back up, because of course he is, and Lesnar isn’t sure what to do. Back in and Lesnar takes two powerslams, only to have Kane make the save with some chair shots to Strowman. Lesnar pops up, sends both of them into each other, and F5’s Kane onto the chair to retain at 11:00.

Rating: D. There were some good power spots in there but this match didn’t need to be on the card either. Lesnar won another match that didn’t do anything for him and then walked off with the title for two and a half months, which was the case for FAR too long. I get the idea of keeping Strowman warm but they’re taking way too long to get anywhere.

We recap the Women’s Royal Rumble. Stephanie McMahon announced that we needed one and everyone nodded along because that’s how WWE works.

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals, Maria Menunos is guest ring announcer and Stephanie is on commentary. As she comes to the ring, the announcers are all over themselves to suck up to her, with lines like “she’s a trailblazer but would never admit it”. Alexa Bliss and Charlotte (reigning Women’s Champions) are sitting at ringside. Sasha Banks is in at #1 and pre-Man Becky Lynch is in at #2 for a feeling out process to start. Neither can grab a submission hold and it’s a double clothesline, allowing Sarah Logan to come in at #3 and pick the bones.

She goes after Becky first but stops to point at the sign, meaning Becky is staying in. A headbutt drops Banks so everyone stands around until it’s Mandy Rose in at #4. The near eliminations abound as Stephanie gets into full on “person having an unnatural conversation” mode with Corey, making her rather annoying in her own right. Lita is in at #5 (in a #timesup shirt) to really fire the fans up for the first time in awhile.

Sasha and Becky stare her down and we get the slugout, which is rather cool when you consider how much of an inspiration she and Trish Stratus were on the current generation. Stephanie talks about how she and Lita were close over the years….and actually mentions CHYNA, which I didn’t think was allowed. Well I guess it’s cool if you’re Stephanie. Mandy is sent to the apron and hits a knee to Lita, who eliminates her without much effort. Kairi Sane is in at #6 and it’s a double spear to Lynch and Banks.

The Insane Elbow hits Banks and there’s one to Becky as Tamina (all in white for some reason) is in at #7. Lita drops her with a DDT because Tamina isn’t very good, setting up Twists of Fate to Lynch and Banks. There’s the moonsault to both of them and Lita throws Tamina out. Becky gets rid of Lita a few seconds later and it’s Dana Brooke in at #8. She goes straight for Sane in the corner….and actually eliminates her in a pretty big upset. Torrie Wilson is in at #9 and we now have to pretend that she was anything more than eye candy because she wrestled fifteen years ago.

Logan dropkicks her down as a TORRIE WILSON chant begins. A backdrop and dropkick to the knee get rid of Dana and it’s Sonya Deville in at #10. That means a kick to the ribs to get rid of Torrie (yes she looked great, and that’s about the extent of her value here). Liv Morgan is in at #11 and we hear about how much she idolized Lita. That likely applies to almost everyone in the match, which is rather cool given that Lita was in the match.

Things settle down again and it’s Molly Holly in at #12 to a rather big reaction. She dumps Logan with ease and there’s the Molly Go Round to Banks. They both fall to the floor (not out) and it’s Lana in at #13. These people are just coming and going at this point with very little other than nostalgia holding things together. Lana takes Liv down with a rather impressive spear and it’s Michelle McCool in at #14.

The fans immediately chant for the Undertaker as Michelle dumps Sonya. Morgan is out as well and Michelle gets rid of Molly with ease. Lana gets back up and is dumped just as well. Becky and Sasha double team Michelle to little avail as Ruby Riott is in at #15. No one can get anywhere and it’s Vickie Guerrero (the obvious comedy spot) in at #16. A bunch of EXCUSE ME’s earn her an elimination and it’s Carmella in at #17, but Vickie blasts her with the Money in the Bank briefcase to leave her laying on the floor.

Natalya is in at #18 (Stephanie: “Here she comes.” Natalya gets “here she comes”?) but Carmella decks her on the floor before it’s time to start the strutting. The Bexploder puts her down though and everyone is on the mat for a breather. Kelly Kelly is in at #19 and opts for some kicks in the corner as Natalya eliminates Michelle.

It’s Naomi in at #20, giving us Sasha, Becky, Riott, Carmella, Natalya, Kelly Kelly and Naomi. A bunch of Rear Views clean house and a kick to the head drops Banks. Sasha gets sent outside (not out, again) but Becky doesn’t have the same luck as Riott gets rid of her. Jacqueline is in at #21 and goes after Kelly as very little is going on at the moment. Nia Jax is in at #22 and gets rid of Kelly and Jacqueline without much effort. Riott gets tossed as well so Naomi fires off kicks. Jax throws her onto the big pile but Naomi lands on the barricade.

As she tries to figure it out, the injured Ember Moon is in at #23 and slugs away with one arm. Naomi walks the barricade and gets to the timekeeper’s area where she steals Menunos’ chair to crawl over to the steps for the improbable save. Back in….and Nia dumps her with ease. With everyone else on the floor, Beth Phoenix is in at # 24 and it’s time for a showdown.

Beth avoids a charge in the corner but can’t get her up in the fireman’s carry. Another attempt works to a big reaction as Natalya gets back in. They can’t get rid of Nia as they knock her to the floor (enough already) instead. Natalya quickly turns on Beth and throws her out as Carmella comes back in. Having this many women on the floor is ridiculous as you can’t remember who is still in.

Asuka is in at #25 to strike away, setting up the big reunion fight with Ember. Moon is fine enough for a one armed Eclipse but Asuka throws her out a few seconds later. So much for that. Mickie James is in at #26 and grabs a neckbreaker on Natalya. A bunch of near eliminations go nowhere and it’s Nikki Bella in at lucky #27, to a strong pop because we live in a random and chaotic universe. There’s a springboard kick to the face to put Banks down and it’s a spear to Natalya. Nikki throws Carmella out but everyone jumps onto the superwoman known as Nikki until Brie Bella comes out of retirement to come in at #28.

That means it’s time for the YES chants and some horrible running knees. The Bellas get their big moment (because they haven’t had one in a few minutes) and Nia is knocked to the floor (say it with me: without being eliminated). Bayley is in at #29 and gets to clean house until Asuka kicks her in the head. Trish Stratus is in at #30, which is quite the moment, though it was always going to be her or Rousey. That gives us a final grouping of Banks, Natalya, Jax, Asuka, James, Nikki, Brie, Bayley and Trish.

After tackling Natalya, we get the Trish vs. Bellas showdown which I think only WWE believes matters. A double Stratusfaction drops the Bellas and it’s time for a real showdown with Trish vs. Mickie. The Stratusphere is blocked so Trish kicks her in the head for the elimination. Nia gets back in so the big beatdown is on with a couple of kicks sending her to the ropes. Everyone gets together for the elimination in a good moment. Sasha dumps Bayley in a bit of a stab in the back and it’s Natalya grabbing a Sharpshooter on Trish.

That’s broken up because it’s a worthless move here, allowing Trish to kick Natalya out to get us to five. Banks goes after Trish, who kicks her in the ribs and does Sasha’s dance (that works). That’s fine with Banks, who kicks Trish out but turns into Asuka. They decide to go for the Bellas but it winds up being all three going after Asuka in a smart move. Banks says she’s ready for Asuka and loads up the double knees in the corner, only to have the Bellas turn on her.

That leaves Asuka and the Bellas (plus probably fourteen women on the floor as you never can tell) with the former firing off kicks to both of them. Brie gets sent to the apron but Nikki cuts Asuka off with the Rack Attack 2.0. A forearm knocks Brie out though as the sisters fight again. Asuka hits the missile dropkick on Nikki but she’s right back with a kick to the face. They both wind up on the apron with Asuka kicking the leg out (barely) for the win at 58:57.

Rating: B-. I remember being confused about what to think of this one last year and that’s the case again here. The legends needed to be there to flesh out the match and while there were some other options (NXT), I can go with this for the sake of history. This was designed to be more of a history of women’s wrestling over the years and there’s nothing wrong with that. They did a great job of making me want to see who was next as it was a nice mixture of all those generations. Having the nice mixture worked well and the right person won, so it’s hard to complain all that much. Stephanie was fine, though rather unnecessary.

Post match Charlotte and Alexa get in the ring to hold up the titles….and here’s Ronda Rousey to a huge reaction because she’s a star that was rumored to be in Columbia for this show. We get the most awkward sign pointing of all time (there’s an art to it) but Asuka won’t shake her hand. A bunch of staring and then high fiving fans, plus a handshake with Stephanie ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. It wasn’t a very good show, but the two namesake matches delivered well enough and only the Universal Title match was really bad. The big story here was Ronda of course and that delivered (awkward pointing aside) so it’s hard to really call this anything but pretty good. The wrestling wasn’t great overall and, again, the show was way too long but the important stuff worked well and that’s how you get a nice show.

Ratings Comparison

Lucha House Party vs. TJP/Jack Gallagher/Drew Gulak

Original: C

Redo: C

Luke Gallows/Karl Anderson vs. Revival

Original: C

Redo: C

Bobby Roode vs. Mojo Rawley

Original: D

Redo: D+

Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn vs. AJ Styles

Original: B

Redo: C+

Usos vs. Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Men’s Royal Rumble

Original: A

Redo: B-

Seth Rollins/Jason Jordan vs. The Bar

Original: C-

Redo: D

Brock Lesnar vs. Kane vs. Braun Strowman

Original: B-

Redo: D

Women’s Royal Rumble

Original: B

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: A-

Redo: C+

I don’t remember the last time I was that far off on so many matches. I mean….dang man.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/28/royal-rumble-2018-i-had-fun-again/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

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