Wrestlemania XXXIV
Date: April 8, 2018
Location: Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 78,133
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton
America the Beautiful: Chloe x Hallie

I’m not sure if it’s because I was in the stadium last year or something else, but this show was actually a bit more memorable than the previous few editions. Hopefully it’s just as good watching it back but you never can tell with these things. Brock Lesnar is defending the Universal Title against Roman Reigns in the main event because of course he is so let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

JR and Jerry Lawler come out for commentary with Byron Saxton for a bit of a feel good moment. It’s a brawl to start with English getting backdropped out, much to the fans’ annoyance. Anderson dumps Konnor and Ziggler starts his tradition of hanging on to avoid elimination. There goes Hawkins as we still need to clear out a lot of the ring. Former partners R-Truth and Goldust shake hands with Goldust eliminating him, cutting off JR’s Bearcat Wright’s references.

Primo is out next as there’s almost nothing between these eliminations. Kanellis gets tossed and Ziggler hangs on again. Things settle down a bit unto Apollo knees Breeze as JR mocks Ziggler for always having to save himself. Viktor is gone too and the Revival beats on Ryder but he’s right back up. The Broski Boot is loaded up on Ziggler (JR: “Ziggler in trouble. Again.”) but Rawley Pounces Ryder out in a nice touch. A Liger kick from Gable eliminates Anderson and Titus gets rid of Gallows as we take a break.

Apollo getting backdropped out and Benjamin follows him…and let’s look at the announcers. We come back with Rhyno and the Revival gone and Kane eliminating Axel and Dallas. And now, we look at John Cena in the crowd as a fan, because I had forgotten about that stupid story. Back with Sin Cara eliminated by Corbin and Fandango dancing at Kane, earning himself an elimination off a single uppercut.

Corbin gets rid of Slater and Kane eliminates Gable, leaving us with the big power showdown. Everyone else jumps the monsters and it’s a superkick to Titus, setting a clothesline to get rid of him. We’re down to Corbin, Dillinger, Goldust, Rawley, Ziggler, Hardy and Kane as Goldust loads up Shattered Dreams on Dillinger. That’s broken up by Ziggler so Goldust ties him up for Shattered Dreams as well. Dillinger takes the kick but Ziggler eliminates Goldust.

That leaves us with a TEN vs. DELETE battle with a Twist of Fate and Dillinger is gone. Kane tosses Ziggler but gets eliminated by Corbin to get us down to Corbin, Hardy and Rawley. A fireman’s carry faceplant drops Hardy and the villains go for the elimination….but here’s the returning Bray Wyatt for Sister Abigail into an elimination for Rawley. Corbin drops Wyatt but gets backdropped out to give Matt the win at 16:36.

Rating: D+. It was a battle royal that got a lot of time and wasn’t all that interesting. The ending was a cool moment and it’s the best way to get everyone on the card, even if most of these people mean a grand total of nothing. It’s not a good match or even anything memorable, but at least it got the crowd warmed up….with an hour to go before the show itself starts.

Post match Matt thanks Bray and we get a hug, which JR deems a Wrestlemania moment.

Cruiserweight Title: Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali

Tournament final to crown a new champion after Enzo Amore was finally banished. Ali debuts his SubZero look, which he still uses a year later. They’re both very happy to be there and slaps hands before getting started. Cedric scores with a shoulder block but gets headscissored down as the announcers are right there to play up the power vs. speed idea, though you don’t exactly think of power when it comes to Alexander.

Now the 054 connects for two, the first time the move has ever only gotten a near fall. Another 054 misses and it’s a pair of spinning back elbows to Ali’s face. A third turns Ali inside out and the Lumbar Check makes Cedric champion at 12:21. Cedric immediately hugs the unconscious Ali in a nice show of sportsmanship.

Rating: B. I was pulling for Ali but it felt like a title match between two guys fighting with everything they had. Cedric was the favorite in the entire tournament but Ali came off looking like a star the whole way through. This was rather good stuff and should have been the Kickoff Show main event, though I’ll take a good match when I can.

Kickoff Show: Women’s Battle Royal

Dana Brooke, Becky Lynch, Sarah Logan, Lana, Bianca Belair, Naomi, Sonya Deville, Mandy Rose, Carmella, Peyton Royce, Natalya, Dakota Kai, Mickie James, Taynara Conti, Ruby Riott, Kairi Sane, Sasha Banks, Liv Morgan, Kavita Devi, Bayley

This was going to be the Fabulous Moolah Memorial Battle Royal but history intervened and it’s just a regular battle royal this time around. Paige and Beth Phoenix are on commentary and the former has some advice: don’t get thrown over the top rope. Becky comes out first, everyone else comes out, followed by Sasha and Bayley to fill out the field. Miss Money in the Bank Carmella (erg) poses with the briefcase to start and everyone gangs up on her for the easy elimination.

Deville, who got the elimination, poses in the big circle of women but Dana gets thrown in the middle instead. That means trash talk from Brooke and the big beatdown is on with Mandy tossing Dana. The NXT women team up to send the main roster women outside (through the ropes rather than over, which I can’t stand in battle royals) so we can get the WE ARE NXT pose.

Becky yells at Devi about orange being HER COLOR as some of the main roster women get back in. Kai eliminates Mandy as Paige declares Deville her favorite member of Absolution. We stop for the NXT women to triple team Deville, setting up Belair’s 450, because THAT MAKES SENSE IN A BATTLE ROYAL! Deville is out and we take a break, coming back with Sane being tossed after hitting the Insane Elbow thanks to more ganging up on Riott during the break.

Lana and Devi are tossed and Conti gets kicked out by the Squad. Becky and Belair have a less than thrilling slugout and the hair whip is incredibly loud. Belair misses a charge though and gets kicked out, followed by Kai kicking Naomi in the face. Banks gets rid of Kai without much effort and there goes Becky to a chorus of boos (I think Becky will be fine). Ruby knocks Mickie out and it’s Royce’s turn to kick people in the face.

Logan powerbombs her out as well though and we’re down to Morgan, Logan, Riott, Bayley, Banks, Natalya and Naomi, who is out on the floor (oh dear). For some reason Natalya decides to pose with her back turned to the Squad but manages to suplex Ruby and Sarah at the same time.

Bayley saves Sasha from a suplex and helps get rid of Natalya. Morgan is out as well and there goes Ruby. Banks sends Logan to the apron and Bayley knocks her out, leaving us with Banks and Bayley. The fans actually get on their feet to cheer for this one and the handshake…lets Bayley throw Banks out to a big reaction but Naomi gets back in for the Rear View. That’s enough for the win at 9:39.

Rating: F+. I had forgotten how annoying that ending was but it makes you realize just how stupid this whole thing was. Bayley and Banks would go on to have their weird semi-feud and then partnership over the year while Naomi has done NOTHING important since this match. You have something here with Bayley and the bright idea is to do the HAHA WE TRICKED YOU ending? That’s been done to death in battle royals and it’s not like this was anything more than a surprise ending, which was really stupid given how Bayley had been searching for anything important for the last year. This actually ticked me off again so well done.

Jojo introduces Chloe and Hallie to sing America the Beautiful, describing them as the “future of music”. Well if Jojo says it then it must be true.

The opening video shows shots of parties in New Orleans and, just like in 2014, features a tagline of Let The Good Times Roll. They couldn’t come up with anything else in four years? And the theme song is still Celebrate by Kid Rock. Ok it’s a catchy song, but is there nothing else (or no one else) that they could use?

Yay pyro! And cool set with the Mardi Gras mask, which looked awesome all night long.

I was in the stadium for this show, sitting in the lower bowl and looking not quite directly at the far post on the right side opposite the hard camera.

Intercontinental Title: Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor vs. The Miz

Miz is defending and we get the new idea this year: 3D graphics for some of the entrances, including Miz who gets the Miz logo and various words to describe him, including MOVIE STAR. Miz sends the Miztourage to the back because he wants to do this himself for his newborn daughter. The weird part is you couldn’t see those in the stadium (obviously) but you could see them on the screens around the building, which made your head snap around a few times.

Balor isn’t the Demon here, but instead comes out with a bunch of LGBT people in rainbow Balor Club shirts labeled FOR EVERYONE. If nothing else, it’s awesome to see the stadium doing the Balor pose at once. This was set up with both guys beating Miz in one night, because Balor beating Miz after Miz had a long match with Rollins is totally the same thing.

They all go for the way too early rollups to start with Miz being sent outside. That means Rollins can miss a Stomp on Balor but a superkick to the ribs works just fine. Balor sends Rollins outside though and it’s the big running flip dive onto both of them for the first major pop of the night. Back in and basement dropkick gives Balor two on Miz but Rollins is back in with a high crossbody.

Miz finally gets to do something other than get beaten up as we look at Cena in the crowd again. Rollins grabs a double Blockbuster for two on Miz but he’s right back up with a knee to the ribs (not face Cole). The chinlock goes on, which shouldn’t be the case less than four minutes into a triple threat. Back up and a neckbreaker gets two on Miz as they’re just trading moves until we get to the big stuff. Another chinlock seems to annoy Balor so he gets up again and hits the double stomp to Miz’s ribs.

Rollins is back in for a Sling Blade to Balor, setting up a suicide dive to Balor and Miz. A superkick drops Balor again but Miz comes in with a DDT for two. Miz goes with the strategy by bending Balor’s knee around the ropes and slapping on the Figure Four. The frog splash from Rollins (from out of nowhere for an awesome visual) breaks it up and all three of them head outside.

Balor escapes the barricade powerbomb and dropkicks them both into the barricade instead. Back in again and 1916 gets two on Rollins but Miz breaks up the Coup de Grace. Instead of the Tower of Doom though it’s the buckle bomb to Miz and a superplex into the Falcon Arrow to Balor. The Skull Crushing Finale gives Miz two on Rollins and they’re all down again.

Balor does his hop over the ropes in the corner but gets crotched for trying the Coup de Grace again. It’s just not working this time dude. Miz goes up top with Balor and catches a springboarding Rollins with something close to a super Skull Crushing Finale. Balor breaks it up with a Coup de Grace and hits a second on Miz but the Stomp breaks that up too. Another Stomp hits Miz to give Rollins the pin and the title at 15:37.

Rating: B-. This might have been a few minutes too long but Rollins winning was a fine call as he’s more than over enough and kind of fits the Workrate Champion idea to perfection. Miz can come back and break the all time days record later and Balor is over no matter what. Not a great match, but a very hot opener and the fans were into everything here.

We recap the Smackdown Women’s Title match, which is billed as the BIGGEST WOMEN’S MATCH IN WRESTLEMANIA HISTORY. My how times change. Anyway Charlotte is the queen of everything and Asuka won the Royal Rumble to earn this shot. It’s absolutely a dream match with Charlotte being Charlotte and Asuka still being undefeated.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Asuka

Charlotte is defending and gets the full Ric Flair theme song, complete with a HHH from Wrestlemania XXX inspired entrance, meaning soldiers to help her off a throne and take her robe. Asuka on the other hand gets the CGI masks with rainbow colored lines surrounding them, which look cool on screen but live….not so much. They lock up to start and take turns flipping out of wristlocks for an early standoff.

Charlotte loads up a monkey flip but instead trips the leg for a failed Figure Eight attempt. You can feel the intensity here and it’s working well so far. Some chops to the chest (and one to the face) have Asuka in trouble but she’s right back with a hip attack to knock Charlotte outside. Back in and it’s time to start in on the arm but Charlotte gets in a backbreaker into an STO. Charlotte uses a Backpack Stunner to get out of a sleeper and a knee to the back of the head keeps Asuka in trouble.

It’s enough trouble for Charlotte to go up top for the moonsault….which is countered into a triangle for a sweet escape. Charlotte reverses into a Boston crab until Asuka makes the rope. A sliding kick to the face knocks Charlotte backwards and it’s back to the arm as Asuka continues to follow her game plan. They head to the apron with Asuka suplexing her out to the floor in a good looking crash. Sometimes you need to just go with a big spot like that and it worked very well.

Back in and they stare each other down until Asuka just erupts with strikes to the face. A missile dropkick gets two and Asuka stomps on the back. Charlotte is fine enough for the chops to catch Asuka on top and it’s a super Spanish Fly for two with the fans getting much more into things in a hurry. Natural Selection is countered into something like an Octopus Hold from Asuka’s back for a cool change of pace.

Charlotte tries to flip out and into the Figure Eight but Asuka kicks her in the head for a block. Well that’s certainly to the point. The Asuka Lock is blocked and Charlotte hits a very good spear for two more as the fans are WAY into this. With nothing else working, Charlotte goes to the Figure Eight and bridges up with one arm….and Asuka taps at 13:05 in a shocker.

Rating: A-. I don’t get shocked by results very often but I was actually stunned to see how this went. I would have bet money on Asuka walking out as champion here but Charlotte winning was far from a ridiculous result. Now the problem is what this did to Asuka, as she only started to recover from the loss nearly a year later. Charlotte would lose the title to Carmella two days later, bringing some dark days to the belt. This however was anything but dark, with an outstanding match between two stars.

Post match Asuka gets the mic and says Charlotte was ready for her in the ultimate sign of respect.

With Charlotte on the ramp and Asuka in the ring, a referee tells Cena something that makes him get out of his seat and run up the ramp. You really couldn’t wait until the women were gone so they could have the full moment?

US Title: Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Randy Orton vs. Rusev

Orton is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Aiden English (now bald, meaning he shaved his head since the end of the battle royal when he had hair) handles Rusev’s entrance and we get my favorite shot every year: a closeup of someone with the camera swinging around to show the stadium crowd in front of them. There’s something so cool about seeing just how big of a stage they’re really on. Anyway, Rusev is crazy over and easily the crowd favorite. Does anyone else see an issue with Orton’s music saying “I hear voices in my head” while his Titantron says IN MY VEINS?

While you think about that, Orton and Mahal are sent outside, leaving Rusev to dropkick (yes dropkick) Roode to the floor. A RUSEV DAY Cannonball off the apron takes Orton and Mahal down again but Roode is back in with a Blockbuster for two on Rusev. The other two get back in and it’s Mahal getting beaten up by Orton and Roode before being tossed right back to the floor. Orton hits the top rope superplex on Roode with Rusev and Mahal diving back in for the save.

That’s enough for Mahal to ask Rusev for a partnership but Rusev doesn’t even bother waiting before hitting Mahal with a spinning belly to back suplex for two. Roode makes it worse by busting Mahal’s spine and hitting the GLORIOUS pose, only to have Orton make a save this time.

That leaves Orton alone in the ring and it’s the hanging DDT on Rusev. The RKO hits English, Rusev and Mahal so it’s Roode making a save of his own. Roode blocks the RKO and plants Orton with the Glorious DDT as Mahal saves. The Machka Kick drops Mahal but Sunil Singh offers a distraction, letting Mahal hit the Khallas for the pin on Rusev at 8:14. You could literally feel the energy go out of the crowd.

Rating: D+. There was some hard work in there but this was the definition of Vince saying screw the audience because it’s all about what I want. Rusev was one of the most popular guys in the company and had been for months but instead we get Mahal, who was an all time bomb as WWE Champion getting to pin Rusev.

It’s not like there was even a long term plan as Mahal would lose the title a mere eight days later. Rusev would indeed get the title nearly nine months later, after his popularity had fallen way down, meaning it was acceptable to give the fans what they want. This really hurt the show and it’s going to be hard to recover.

We recap Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle vs. HHH/Stephanie McMahon and yeah I think this might help the recovery process. After being at Wrestlemania XXXI and attacking Stephanie, Rousey made her official WWE debut at the Royal Rumble earlier in the year. She wanted to go to Wrestlemania and since she was (at the time) the most dominant female UFC fighter of all time, Stephanie wanted to mold her into a WWE star.

Angle, who had been screwed over by Stephanie and HHH before, warned Ronda that they would mess with her too. That didn’t sit well with Rousey, who beat both of them up on the way to this mixed tag match. Naturally we got a lot of Stephanie workout videos because she’s STEPHANIE and that makes her some wrestling legend. It’s sickening, and I was waiting on her to survive the armbar in the match. It was clear that this was going to be full of smoke and mirrors, but the question is how well Rousey is going to do in her debut. This is one of the main events of the show and something a lot of people really wanted to see.

Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle vs. HHH/Stephanie McMahon

HHH and Stephanie come out on matching motorcycles (flanked by four women on their own motorcycles), with Stephanie’s biker look (including the leather pants) making me a lot less annoyed at her. Cole: “Even though Stephanie is a former Women’s Champion, this is her Wrestlemania in-ring debut!” WWE pretending that Stephanie was a wrestler is one of their more interesting character tweaks. Rousey gets a huge reaction and of course smiles at the crowd, as is her custom. Cole talks about two people starting in UFC and coming to WWE: Ken Shamrock and now Rousey. So they’re not Dan Severn fans either?

The fans are WAY behind Rousey as they stare each other down in the middle. Stephanie shoves Rousey in the face because Stephanie just never learns. A hair pull doesn’t prove to be the brightest idea either so Stephanie bails to the apron so the guys can start us off. Angle (very badly) punches at HHH and the beating is on in the corner. A hammerlock keeps HHH does as we’re just waiting for this to explode as it should be doing.

Stephanie manages to lure Rousey in though and Angle gets low bridged to the floor. Cole calls this “that McMahon instinct” as the worship is already a lot to take. Angle gets sent into the steps and Rousey is about to lose it because she can’t intervene. Some more cheap shots from Stephanie keep Rousey angry and a spinebuster gives HHH two. A front facelock keeps Angle down but he gets a boot up in the corner.

Stephanie chokes Angle and HHH nearly hits her by mistake but it’s still too early for the hot tag. A suplex drops HHH again but Stephanie runs around and pulls Rousey off the apron. HHH gets whipped over the corner for the real crash and you can see the panic in Stephanie. The hot tag brings in Rousey (Graves: “CALL THE COPS!!!”) who SPRINTS over to Stephanie and throws her down with a suplex. After the required tug of the shorts, Rousey unloads with rights and lefts in the corner as the fans are already losing it. The release throw sends Stephanie back into the corner and Graves is terrified.

The fans want and receive the armbar….but Stephanie blocks it. Yes the hold that UFC fighters were powerless again is a simple block for Stephanie as the crowd’s soul is slapped down again. Stephanie blocks it a second time and rakes the eyes (Cole: “Complete manipulation of the rules!” Ignore the complete manipulation of reality and focus on those rules man.”), setting up a double arm crank as the fans try to process that they’re really doing this.

Stephanie even mocks Rousey, who grabs her by the throat and hits the swinging Samoan drop for two with HHH pulling the referee. Rousey: “I’m going to continue beating up your wife ok?” HHH pulls her out as well, apparently not a fan of such chatty opponents. Angle is back up and sends HHH over the announcers’ table but gets thrown onto the Spanish table. After a slow crawl, HHH is back in and sees Rousey, who is ready to fight. HHH puts the referee in the corner and sizes Rousey up and the beating is on in the corner.

A legsweep looks to set up the swinging Samoan drop but Stephanie makes a save. I know I’m not a big HHH fan a lot of the time but he just made Rousey look like the biggest star in the history of the division. Rousey chases Stephanie outside though and has to adjust the gear again, allowing Stephanie to post her. Angle is back in for some belly to belly suplexes and the rolling Germans but the ankle lock is countered. The Pedigree is countered as well and HHH gets catapulted into the corner, setting up the Angle Slam for two with no one making a save.

Stephanie breaks up the ankle lock and yells at Angle, who catches the boot to the ribs. HHH has to save his wife and Pedigrees Angle for two with Rousey making her own save this time. With Angle down, HHH loads Rousey up for a powerbomb but gets hurricanranaed (!) into the armbar on HHH (I completely bought that as the finish live) until Stephanie grabs a choke.

That’s reversed into an armbar and Stephanie has the gall to block it AGAIN. Angle ankle locks HHH, who rolls Angle into Rousey for the real save. Rousey and Angle get posted and it’s time for stereo Pedigrees, both of which are broken up. The armbar is slapped on again and this time Rousey uses the leverage to pull back and Stephanie finally taps at 20:37.

Rating: A. That’s not even on a sliding scale because Rousey knocked that out harder than she knocked out Alexis Davis. She looked like she’s been doing this for ten years and had one of the best debut matches I’ve ever seen. Everyone else was nailing it too and I got completely sucked into it both live and watching it back because all of the stuff was that good. Don’t have Stephanie block the armbar so often and this is an A+ easy.

That was the only downgrade, even though you knew full well it was coming. To be fair though, Stephanie did tap out clean in the end so it wasn’t the most ridiculous thing ever. Well the first part was but not the finish. After this, how can you now see Rousey as the star that she already was?

Stephanie has to be helped out, as she should. She would get armbarred again the next night for a bonus.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Bludgeon Brothers vs. Usos

Kofi wastes no time in hitting Trouble in Paradise on Jey but Harper pulls him outside before the count. Jimmy gets sent into the steps and Harper crashes against Big E. against the barricade. With no one else to beat up, Woods gets powerbombed against the post, leaving Rowan to splash Kofi and Jey back inside. The mostly done Jey is thrown outside and Big E. gets knocked off the apron. Jimmy comes back in for a pair of superkicks and Jey is back up for stereo kicks to Harper’s head in the corner.

A jumping enziguri hits Harper and a superkick knocks Rowan to the floor, setting up a double suplex on the outside. Harper catches Kofi with a swinging release Boss Man Slam but gets caught with a double superkick on top. Rowan breaks up the Tower of Doom so Kofi charges at Harper, only to get powerbombed by Rowan. An assisted super sitout powerbomb finishes Kofi to give Harper and Rowan the titles at 5:55.

Rating: C-. The time cuts aside, this wasn’t the worst match in the world with the Usos and the New Day giving it all they had against the monsters but not being able to stop them. The Bludgeon Brothers were the first time a team other than the Usos or New Day had held the belts in over a year so this was long, long overdue and the right call.

Here’s what’s coming to the Network, most of which actually happened for a change.

Here’s a fired up John Cena for his match with Undertaker. This comes after weeks of Cena calling out Undertaker for Wrestlemania because Undertaker seemingly retired after last year’s show. Cena came off as the biggest jerk in this feud and acting like Undertaker owed him something. There was no confirmation that Undertaker was going to be here, hence him sitting in the crowd earlier.

That’s the other stupid part of the whole thing: Cena kept talking about how he had no path to Wrestlemania, because JOHN CENA couldn’t get a match. He gave some lame excuse about how this was the only match that mattered and it didn’t do a thing to make up for the consistently annoying lines from commentary about Cena possibly being left out of Wrestlemania. I get what they were going for, but come on already.

Anyway Cena is ready to go but here’s a referee to say not so fast. Cena is disappointed and the lights go out. It’s only Elias though and Cena heads back to his seat as Elias sings about it being his night. That’s enough for Cena who runs in and beats Elias up before looking disappointed again. Cole: “I guess that would be a Wrestlemania moment right?” He goes up the ramp but stops….and the lights go out again. A spotlight hits the ring with Undertaker’s hat, coat and boots, which are hit by lighting (looks awful on the Network, looked great when you didn’t see it coming in the stadium. They’re gone, and the gong strikes.

Undertaker vs. John Cena

I know he’s been old for ten years, but that entrance live, especially in the stadium, is chilling. Cole of course can’t SHUT UP, saying everything he can think of, including calling them the two greatest performers of all time. Undertaker goes straight at him in the corner to start and hits the jumping clothesline. Old School connects and Undertaker hits some running clotheslines in the corner. Snake Eyes into the big boot into the big leg have Cena rocked but the chokeslam is escaped.

Cena’s belly to back connects but Undertaker sits up before the Shuffle, making Cena fall down in fear. The chokeslam into the Tombstone finishes Cena at 2:48. The more I think of this one, the more I like it. Cena ran his mouth for so long and Undertaker annihilated him here, just as he should have. While a lot of people will be annoyed at not getting a full form match between these two, I’d rather they do this than have Undertaker look back in a fifteen minute match.

Video on the Hall of Fame ceremony.

Here’s the Hall of Fame Class, which really doesn’t need to air on the show. They already get a whole evening to themselves. Do we really need ten minutes on Wrestlemania too?

Jeff Jarrett (eh sure, though it’s still weird to see him here)

Mark Henry (still not sure on him, though his documentary was great)

Hillbilly Jim (I’m a Kentucky boy but come on)

Ivory (she looks better now than she did during her career)

Jarius JJ Robertson (Warrior Award)

Dudley Boyz (yep)

Goldberg (yep, though I’d call the Dudleys more appropriate headliners)

Oh and Kid Rock, this year’s celebrity inductee, wasn’t there because he had a concert.

We recap Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens. Bryan somehow overcame his injuries and returned to the ring in something I still can barely believe. Owens and Zayn had tormented Smackdown boss Shane for months and then attacked Bryan for firing them the night he was announced as being cleared. Therefore it’s a tag match with Owens and Zayn fighting for their jobs. Yeah that’s all well and good. The point here is Bryan actually getting back in the ring, which is almost impossible to imagine.

Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens vs. Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon

Owens and Zayn beat McMahon up on Smackdown to cover for Shane’s legitimate medical issues. Chris Jericho was apparently on red phone alert for this show with a plan to have him fly in from a Fozzy show on the corporate jet in case Shane couldn’t make the show. Bryan gets a special entrance with a weird military/Terminator themed video showing a target on the Superdome before looking at the YES Movement spreading throughout the world in a cool moment. You can feel the emotions in Bryan as he comes down the aisle and it’s an amazing sight to behold.

Owens and Zayn jump the good guys from behind and Shane gets thrown over the barricade. Bryan takes a Helluva kick and the apron powerbomb to leave him laying. Medics come out to check on Bryan as yes, they actually are trying to stretch this out even further. Shane is willing to fight on his own and unloads with the really bad punches to Owens in the corner.

There’s the jumping back elbow but Shane grabs his stomach due to the diverticulitis (the same thing that ruined Lesnar’s UFC career). A DDT drops Sami but Owens gets in a shot to the stomach to cut Shane off. We settle down into a regular match with Sami elbowing the ribs and going for one cover after another. Owens steps on the ribs and applauds Bryan for such a great return. A t-bone suplex gives Sami two and a superkick into the Blue Thunder Bomb is good for the same. The fans don’t care about this whatsoever and there’s no reason for them to.

With Bryan STILL being tended to at ringside, it’s just a big waiting game until Bryan gets back up and makes the hot tag. The Helluva Kick misses in the corner and Sami gets tied in the Tree of Woe. Coast to Coast hits but Shane can’t follow up because of the stomach. Owens drops the frog splash on Shane but Bryan dives in for the save to bring the fans back to life. The hot tag is cut off though and we hit the chinlock to make the fans wait a little longer. A belly to back suplex gets Shane out of trouble though and there’s the tag, with Bryan taking his time before getting in for an awesome moment.

House is cleaned and it’s the moonsault over Sami into the running clothesline. Owens comes back in and Bryan gets them in opposite corners for alternating running dropkicks. Sami is back with a Helluva Kick for two on Bryan and Owens superkicks Shane to the floor. The Pop Up Powerbomb gets two more and Owens is shocked at the kickout. Shane dives onto Owens, leaving Sami to yell at Bryan for coming back and punch him in the face. That’s enough for Bryan and the fight is on, including the YES Kicks. The running knee sets up the YES Lock to make Sami tap at 15:24.

Rating: C+. This was two matches in one with the rather boring beatdown of Shane for the first half before Bryan came in and gave the fans exactly what they wanted for the second half. It was all about Bryan and that’s all it was supposed to be. The idea that he actually made it back to the ring is amazing and one of the most surprising stories you’ll ever see in wrestling. He deserved a big moment like this and that’s what we got here, albeit after Shane got in his own time of course.

Attendance announcement, with pyro because it’s Wrestlemania.

We recap Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss. They were friends, but Jax found out that Bliss was making fun of her behind her back. Jax went into monster mode and chased after Bliss and her friend Mickie James, setting up this match. Now there’s no reason this shouldn’t be about thirty seconds long, but it’s Wrestlemania and what matters is getting on the card and having a long match instead of doing what makes sense.

Raw Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax

Bliss, with James in her corner, is defending and is lowered down to the stage on a platform for a nice touch. We get the Big Match Intros and Bliss immediately backs up as she should. Jax gets smart and runs Mickie over before the bell rings to send her outside for a heck of a beatdown. Bliss tries to intervene and gets glared back to the ring, leaving James to take a Samoan drop on the floor.

We get back inside for the opening bell and Bliss slaps her in the face. That earns a scream from Nia so Bliss screams back in true scream queen fashion. A gorilla press slam has Bliss bailing to the floor and it’s time to leave, only to have Nia run her over again. Back in and Bliss pokes her in the eye before going after the knee in a smart move.

What’s not a smart move is this match already going nearly three minutes with Bliss getting in any significant offense. A basement dropkick keeps Jax in trouble but a guillotine choke is easily countered via an overhead belly to belly suplex. Jax goes shoulder first into the post as the fans are quiet all over again. Twisted Bliss to a standing Nia on the floor gives Bliss another knockdown, setting up the short DDT for two back inside.

Bliss yells at her so Nia tells her to shut up already and the destruction begins. Another poke to the eye is no sold and Bliss gets whipped hard into the buckles. Bliss goes to the eye again to get out of the Samoan drop but Jax drives her into the corner and then drops her. That’s not enough as it’s a super Samoan drop to give Jax the pin and the title at 9:02.

Rating: D-. What were they thinking here? The whole story was that Bliss was all talk and survived because of Nia but then she hangs with Nia for the better part of ten minutes? This should have been thirty seconds long with Bliss getting the title back later on (as she did in June) after coming back from getting squashed. Just a bad idea all around here, save for Jax FINALLY winning the title.

We recap AJ Styles defending the Smackdown World Title against Shinsuke Nakamura. They had a classic match in Japan and a lot of fans wanted to see it again in WWE. Nakamura won the Royal Rumble and the match was on, with both guys trying to get in the other’s head on the way to New Orleans. So yeah, they’re just going with “it’s a dream match” for the build, which works just fine.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Nakamura is challenging and gets played to the ring by Nita Strauss (awesome guitar player and rather gorgeous at the same time). The army of violinists and drummers help too. Since WWE can’t go more than five minutes without making some kind of a mistake, AJ is billed as Universal Champion. They lock up to start with Nakamura getting the better of it with some knees to the ribs.

Good Vibrations is blocked and AJ gets in his own knee before starting in on the back. Styles grabs a chinlock for a bit before dropkicking him to the floor. That’s not the best idea though as it’s a kick to the head to stagger Styles and the champ is in trouble for the first time. Nakamura’s middle rope kick to the face gets two and that’s a COME ON to set up the strikes to the face.

The running knee to the ribs in the corner gets two but AJ is right back with a belly to back faceplant. A sliding forearm into the pumphandle gutbuster gets two on Nakamura as they’re trading big spots. AJ’s springboard is countered into the Landslide (Samoan driver) for two but Nakamura needs a minute before following up. With nothing else working, Nakamura goes with the kicks, which are countered into the Calf Crusher.

Since it’s Nakamura, that’s reversed into a triangle choke, which AJ powers into something like a fisherman’s buster for another double knockdown. It’s Nakamura up first and trying a running knee in the corner but the bad knee hit the buckle instead. AJ is right back with a Phenomenal Forearm for two in the required kickout of the first finisher.

The springboard 450 hits knees and Nakamura grabs a small package for two of his own. They slug it out until AJ nails the Pele but can’t follow up, allowing Nakamura to knee him in the back of the head for a much nearer fall. The reverse exploder looks to set up the Kinshasa but AJ rolls through into the Styles Clash for the pin to retain at 20:21.

Rating: B+. This was close to being a classic but it’s really just a very good match instead. Part of the problem here is how late the match came in the show. The fans were starting to get worn down and there was only so much energy left in the people. Also it never quite got to the epic level that they were shooting for with Nakamura never really getting the close near falls that he needed to take it to another level. Still that, very good and worthy of a Wrestlemania title match.

We recap the Kickoff Show. This is another few minutes that could be cut off.

Raw Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Braun Strowman/???

The Bar is defending after Strowman won a battle royal to become #1 contenders despite not having a partner. Therefore the big question for over a month is who would the partner be. The Bar comes out on a Mardi Gras float, complete with people in large headed costumes for a cool visual. There’s no partner for Strowman, who breaks up the float before coming to the ring.

Strowman and the kid get in the ring where the kid is introduced as Nicholas (the son of referee John Cone). Cole: “This is really happening.” He’s never been more right. Oh and the search for a partner and introduction took about four and a half minutes, again because this show can just keep going. Strowman takes Sheamus into the corner with no problem to start before beating up Cesaro as well.

Nicholas is terrified (as he should be) as Cesaro dropkicks Strowman in the knee. A double suplex lets Sheamus drop a top rope knee, setting up an assisted swanton from Sheamus’ shoulders. Strowman comes back with a double crossbody and backdrops Sheamus over the top, bouncing him off the post in the process. To cap it off, Strowman tags Nicholas in. The kid is terrified and tags Strowman back in for the powerslam to Cesaro for the pin and the titles at 3:58.

Rating: F. I….what do you want from me here? This was an idea that completely failed because WWE had no idea what to do here and this is all they could do. Put Heath Slater or someone in there, or have Strowman do a rendition of Me And My Shadow and have him win it by himself. It was a joke that was literally forgotten the next night and stretched the show out even more because they couldn’t just cut this and put Strowman ANYWHERE else. I’m sure Matt Hardy had to win the battle royal right?

Wrestlemania 35 is in New York/Jersey. You don’t hear New Jersey mentioned here, but I guess it’s just implied.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns for the Universal Title. It’s the latest attempt to make Reigns feel like the mega star because the first few times didn’t take. Therefore he won the Elimination Chamber (beating Strowman after Strowman eliminated everyone else), THIS TIME FOR SURE! Lesnar has been champion for a year and barely ever defends the title, because that was so successful the first few times. Their fights over the last few weeks get the music video treatment.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns is challenging and WOW the fans are not happy to see him. To make it a little better, Brock drives him into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs, followed by the German suplexes. Reigns pops up with a Superman Punch to send Brock to the floor as they’re starting fast again. Back in and a clothesline knocks Lesnar over the top and out to the floor as the fans chant things to amuse themselves.

Lesnar catches him with a belly to belly on the floor and another one drops Reigns on his head. There’s the required CM PUNK chant and a third belly to belly sends Reigns face first into the announcers’ table because Brock didn’t realize how much room he had. Back in and Lesnar throws another German suplex, declaring it SUPLEX CITY B****. More suplexes ensue because that’s what Lesnar does in a big time match. Brock gets tired of that and loads up the announcers’ table but Reigns posts him for a much needed breather.

A spear puts Lesnar onto (not through) another table as the fans boo the heck out of this. Or maybe they’re mad about losing a beach ball. The Superman Punch into a pair of spears gets two and now the fans are definitely happy with a beach ball. Brock blocks a spear with a knee to the face that brings Graves out of his chair.

The first F5 gets two and virtually no reaction from the crowd. Another F5 gets another two and Lesnar seems to be getting angrier. To switch it up, another F5 gets another two and Lesnar seems to be getting angrier. The fans declare it boring so Lesnar takes him outside for the fourth F5 through the announcers’ table. Lesnar takes it back inside and stands there as the fans do something else in the crowd that goes from cheering to booing during the same closeup.

The fifth F5 gets two so Lesnar takes the gloves off at Heyman’s orders. The fans call it awful as Lesnar hammers away to bust Reigns open. It’s quite the gusher but Reigns slips out of the F5 and hits a pair of spears for two. Another spear is countered into the sixth F5 to retain the title at 15:51.

Rating: D+. Well of course he does. The problem here is that there is good action in the match but it’s too much of the same stuff and the fans having none of it that took away its value. Couple that with knowing that we’re just waiting on even more Reigns title shots and promos about needing to be champion and there was no way this was going to work. The fans (including myself) were done with this WAY before the match started and that’s all there was to it.

Reigns gets cleaned up and we get the long video package. Back in the stadium, Reigns leaves and the show ends. I stood around for a long time while this was going on because the video doesn’t play in the stadium and it wasn’t clear if the show was over or not.

Overall Rating: C-. I know I (and a lot of other people) say it over and over but it’s just too long. There is a limit to how long you can sit watching wrestling in person or at home and Wrestlemania has blown past that for years now. At some point you just stop caring and there’s very little that can be done to fix such a problem. They need to do something because this isn’t going to work no matter what they do. Cut out a lot of stuff and it’s a great show, but the whole package didn’t work.

There’s a lot of good stuff in here, such as the opener, AJ vs. Nakamura, Charlotte vs. Asuka, the mixed tag and a few other moments here and there. The problem is there’s so much other stuff that either doesn’t work (the main event, the Raw Women’s Title match and the Raw Tag Team Titles are great places to start) that it really doesn’t work. Get rid of some of that and the show is that much better.

Overall, it comes down to the problem of WWE not listening to the fans. They can throw out as much good content as they want, but if you do it to annoy the fans (the US Title match) or to stretch things out even further past its expiration point (the Universal Title), it’s going to come back to mess things up. There is so much on here that fans don’t want to see and WWE just won’t fix it.

That doesn’t help the length either. If you have a show where the final match is something the fans do not want to see, you’re going to have them sitting there, already annoyed at other things in the show, for hours waiting to see something that only WWE seems interested in. How is that supposed to be appealing for over seven hours? Cut it down, give us something else to cheer for, and remember that Wrestlemania is supposed to be about the best of the best, not everyone on the roster.

Ratings Comparison

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D-

Redo: D+

Mustafa Ali vs. Cedric Alexander

Original: B-

Redo: B

Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal

Original: D+

Redo: F+

Seth Rollins vs. The Miz vs. Finn Balor

Original: B

Redo: B-

Charlotte vs. Asuka

Original: A-

Redo: A

Jinder Mahal vs. Rusev vs. Randy Orton vs. Bobby Roode

Original: D

Redo: D+

Stephanie McMahon/HHH vs. Kurt Angle/Ronda Rousey

Original: A-

Redo: A

New Day vs. Bludgeon Brothers vs. Usos

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. John Cena

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss

Original: D+

Redo: D-

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. AJ Styles

Original: B

Redo: B+

Braun Strowman/Nicholas vs. The Bar

Original: F

Redo: F

Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C-

This is an interesting one as most of the matches are within the same ballpark but I liked the show a lot better the first time around. Maybe the good was more fun just after the show, but this really didn’t do it for me nearly as well on another viewing. It’s watchable, but definitely not a very good show.

Here’s the original if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/04/14/wrestlemania-xxxiv-the-same-old-story/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Wrestlemania XXXIII
Date: April 2, 2017
Location: Camping World Stadium, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 75,245
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

This hasn’t been quite a year yet but I have a feeling it’s going to be a very long night. Like a few years before, I was in the stadium for this show but haven’t seen it since I reviewed it last year. This is a show that was well received at the time and it could be interesting to see how it holds up a year later. Let’s get to it.

The set is one of the most intricate they’ve ever done, with a big Wrestlemania globe (ala Universal Studios) and a roller coaster next to it (I think you get this). There’s also an inflatable ring atop the structure above the regular ring, which I somehow didn’t notice until about an hour and a half of being in the stadium). The theme was the Ultimate Thrill Ride and the visual certainly works. It’s really cool looking and worked very well. Unfortunately the stadium isn’t the best looking in the world and it made the whole thing feel a bit out of place. Oh and the CRAZY LONG RAMP, which is something like seventy yards long.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Austin Aries vs. Neville

Aries is challenging after Neville has dominated the division for months and needs someone fresh to challenge him. The fans are behind Aries, which isn’t that surprising though Neville was nothing short (ok he was always short) of awesome at this point. Aries takes him down with an armbar but Neville is right back out with a headscissors. Back up and Neville has to bail to the floor so Aries has a rest on the top rope. I know it’s a Shawn Michaels spot but Aries sells the heck out of it.

Neville comes back in and eats a basement dropkick, followed by the middle rope elbow to the back for two. The suicide dive is blocked with a kick to the head though as the back and forth continues. A missile dropkick gives Neville two and we take a break. Back with Neville holding a chinlock (They even do it on the Kickoff Shows!) but taking WAY too long to glare at the crowd before trying a middle rope Phoenix splash (makes sense given his King thing).

One heck of a backdrop puts Neville on the floor and Aries is right back after him with the suicide dive. You can hear the fans getting back into this and that’s a good result from these two. The main reason to put something like this on is to get the fans fired up for the real show and it’s a great place to put them in.

They come back in with Aries blocking the superplex and nailing his own missile dropkick (looked awesome too) for a near fall. A snap German suplex plants Aries though and Neville takes over again. Another suplex gets another two and Neville is starting to look annoyed. With the technical stuff not working, Neville just kicks him in the face in the corner.

Aries is fine enough to reverse the Rings of Saturn attempt into a rollup and now the Discus knocks Neville hard to the floor. Back in and Aries hits a top hurricanrana and the 450 (with a really annoying crowd reaction shot) gets two. The Last Chancery goes on but Neville rips at the eye (which was recently reconstructed) to break the hold. Aries is writhing in pain and it’s the Red Arrow to retain the title at 15:40.

Rating: B. I remember hearing that this would be on the Kickoff Show and being very relieved as I didn’t think the main show would allow it nearly the amount of time that it needed and deserved. I’m glad to see that I was right here as they had a heck of a chess match here with both guys getting in everything they could and showing how back and forth the whole thing was. Neville cheating to win in the end fit him well, as he finally had someone who could match him and had to take a shortcut. Really good stuff here as Neville continues his unbelievable roll.

If the pay per view started here, it would have been a perfect Kickoff Show. But nah, we need two more matches.

Kickoff Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Rob Gronkowski, a friend of Mojo Rawley, is in the front row. Big Show’s music plays everyone but Braun Strowman to the ring. Braun tosses Primo two seconds into the match as the ring needs some serious cleaning out. Kalisto and Simon Gotch are tossed as well and Strowman eliminates Slater. Jimmy Uso and Goldust follow them out as they’re not wasting time here.

There goes Konnor but it’s time for the Show vs. Strowman showdown. Everyone stops to watch but Sami jumps Braun due to reasons of general stupidity. That goes nowhere so it’s Strowman dumping Show. Everyone goes after Strowman but he gets rid of Viktor in the process. Strowman is eliminated, making him look like a loser/afterthought in the process (oh….just wait). Hawkins is out and Ziggler gets to do his usual false hope spot. We get into the required “everyone hits everyone but doesn’t really try to win” portion as things slow down.

Ziggler low bridges Truth out as I manage to remember that Truth is employed. There goes Rhyno and Ziggler is thrown over the top, only to hang on again. There goes English, followed by American Alpha dropkicking English out. Jey Uso and Jason Jordan are tossed, followed by Chad Gable as the ring is really thinning out. Tian Bing gets rid of Fandango and Breeze, followed by Henry eliminating Sin Cara (in some sweet Wrestlemania gear). Henry is out next as there’s nothing between these eliminations.

Ziggler superkicks Bing out and that’s about it for Tian’s career accomplishments to date. Sami’s Helluva Kick gets rid of Epico and we’re down to nine. It’s been too long since Ziggler was nearly eliminated so Harper chokes him on the apron this time around. Mojo dumps Bo and Mahal eliminates Crews, followed by Rawley tossing Ziggler. Harper is out next and we’re down to Mojo, Jinder, Titus, Dain and Zayn.

A running clothesline gets rid of Titus but Dain eliminates Sami, completely sucking the life out of the crowd. Why you ask? Well we’re left with Dain, Rawley and Mahal. How excited would you be? Jinder gets clotheslined down and we get a Dain vs. Mojo showdown. A Pounce drops Dain but Jinder pulls Mojo through the ropes and out to the floor. Jinder follows him out and sends Rawley into the barricade, right in front of Gronkowski.

That means a drink going into Gronkowski’s face and here he comes over the barricade. This gives us the funniest part of the show as a security guard runs over to stop him, only to have a ringside guy tap her on the arm as some referees come over and allow Gronkowski to get in. Gronkowski runs Mahal over (your future WWE Champion everyone) and Mojo’s running right hands get rid of Dain. Another running punch to Mahal gives Rawley the win at 14:09.

Rating: D-. And this just LAUNCHED Mojo to the moon right? I know the idea here was to get Gronkowski involved (possibly as a substitute for Shaquille O’Neal) but Sami Zayn was RIGHT THERE to get the big win but nah, let’s go with the nothing guy winning the match. This wasn’t the best result for the battle royal but at least they were trying with Rawley, who took the time to talk to an entire group of fans when I saw him walking through Axxess that same weekend. Hopefully he gets somewhere in the future. The rest of the match was terrible with everyone being thrown out in short order and a bad ending.

Kickoff Show: Intercontinental Title: Baron Corbin vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose is defending and I have no idea why this was on the Kickoff Show. Corbin crushed Ambrose underneath a forklift to set this up, giving us the hilarious visual of the referees trying to LIFT IT UP despite the key being in the ignition. They waste no time in fighting to the floor with Dean getting the better of it and heading back inside.

That earns him a hard whip to send Ambrose’s ribs into the post and give Corbin a nice big target. Or 24 of them in this case. A choke shove puts Dean down for two and Baron whips him into the barricade for good measure. We hit the chinlock for a few moments before Dean avoids a charge to send Corbin shoulder first into the post. Corbin avoids the top rope elbow and blocks Dirty Deeds for good measure. That earns him a trip to the floor but Baron knocks him out of the air on a slingshot dive.

The top rope elbow puts Corbin down again though and Dean gets two off a swinging neckbreaker. These two aren’t exactly clicking so far. Deep Six gives Corbin two and works on the ribs a bit more. The Rebound Lariat runs Baron over again but he’s right back with a powerbomb to stay on the ribs. That’s about it for Corbin though as Dean jumps up and hits Dirty Deeds to retain at 10:44.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one but the bigger issue was with the ending, as Baron winning the title would have made the most sense. Making it even worse was the fact that Baron won a street fight non-title rematch two days later but none of that matters as the Superstar Shakeup changed everything a week later. The match was nothing to see either as they didn’t go into the brawl that would have suited them best.

And now on the main show, which is FIVE HOURS AND TEN MINUTES LONG. Sweet goodness and they wonder why it’s hard to make new fans.

Tinashe, who looks like a low rent Beyonce (still very attractive though with a great voice) sings America the Beautiful. This includes the Air Force flyover, which will nearly knock you off your feet.

The opening video is about how everyone wants to come here, either as a fan or as a wrestler. This is the biggest show of the year and it is the ultimate thrill ride. The video turns into a roller coaster, starting with some historic moments and going into clips of wrestlers on tonight’s show. It’s continuing the theme and that’s a good thing when so many of these shows only have a loose theme at best. Ignore the fans cheering for Miz and AJ Styles and booing the heck out of Roman Reigns of course.

Here are your hosts for the evening: the New Day, in Final Fantasy inspired gear, with Kofi riding in on their bicycle powered ice cream cart. I still have one major question: HOW DID THEY NOT HAVE ICE CREAM FOR SALE??? They teased that for weeks and NOTHING. I was looking forward to it but for some reason it just never happened. After some dancing and gyrating, Xavier says there were a lot of options to host the show. Fans: “WOO!” It was your boys the NEW DAY who got the call though and they get to tell us about all the action that we’ll be seeing tonight.

It’s time to officially pulls their levers (making Kofi and Xavier cringe) and Big E. starts sending the smiling glances over to Woods as he freaks out. This was just after the sex tape fiasco, which was hinted at but never mentioned on WWE TV. In other words, this was a nice little inside joke for the fans while not giving away anything that would be un-PG. Well done and the way this needed to be handled. New Day’s level of rock is confirmed and that’s it, wrapping up this year’s installment of an unnecessary addition to the Wrestlemania card.

We recap AJ Styles babysitting Shane McMahon. AJ lost the Smackdown World Title to John Cena at the Royal Rumble and Daniel Bryan/Shane put him in the Elimination Chamber instead of giving him a one on one rematch for the title. That’s not cool with AJ, so he beat up Shane to set up this year’s “Shane can totally wrestle if you give him one of the best performers in the world” match. They’ve attacked each other a few times each since with Shane’s punches somehow getting a little worse since last year.

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles

Shane’s kids are at ringside because what would Wrestlemania be without them? AJ isn’t interested in throwing punches so a quick standing switch sends Shane into the ropes. A headlock and snapmare have Shane down as AJ is toying with him to start. Shane gets in some armdrags and takes Styles down for a rollup, giving us some frustration to send AJ outside.

Back in and AJ punches him in the face as it turns into a boxing match. You know you don’t have to ask Shane to do that twice so we let the suck fly, followed by an elbow to AJ’s face. One heck of a baseball slide sends Shane over the announcers’ table as control goes hard to Styles. Back in and a knee drop rocks Shane again but of course he can shake off the Phenomenal Blitz.

The Phenomenal Forearm is broken up and Shane starts his dance that was stupid back in the 90s so today it’s awesome (like everything in the Attitude Era). An Angle Slam gets two on AJ but he’s right back with the Calf Crusher. Shane reverses into a rear naked choke, a cross armbreaker and something like the Rings of Saturn. He trains MMA you see. AJ shrugs them off and drops Shane again but the springboard 450 is countered into a triangle choke. That’s reversed into a one armed Styles Clash, and of course Shane is up at two.

They slug it out and the fans are entirely behind AJ, even more than you might have expected them to be. I know he’s going to be the favorite coming in but this star treatment of Shane is making it even worse. The ref gets bumped (well duh) and it’s trashcan time. AJ loads up his own Coast to Coast but Shane throws the can at him (with AJ having to pull up on the dive, making it look horrible). Phillips: “AJ has stepped into Shane’s world now!” You mean high flying wrestling?

Shane’s Coast to Coast gets two and it’s time to load up the announcers’ table. The big elbow misses but of course Shane is fine enough to counter the Phenomenal Forearm into a Maiavia Hurricane. That’s not enough from Shane though as he gets to try the shooting star, which only hits mat. The Phenomenal Forearm connects to finally put Shane away at 20:31.

Rating: B. Well that was Shane, with some Shane on the side and then more Shane to wrap it up. AJ looked awesome but that’s all he supposed to be. This was all about Shane getting to counter and hang with AJ, which doesn’t do Styles any good. A 40+ year old who doesn’t wrestle shouldn’t be hanging with a guy who was World Champion less than three months ago. But hey, Shane, right?

James Ellsworth is having issues working out so Ric Flair comes in to give him a Snickers. Then Ellsworth becomes Charlotte. Uh, yeah.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens. Their friendship had been having some issues of late so Jericho put together the Festival of Friendship, an over the top celebration of all things Owens and Jericho. At the end of it, Owens turns on Jericho and beat the heck out of him. Jericho came back and cost him the Universal Title at Fastlane so Owens is coming for Jericho’s Universal Title. The question became could Owens win without Jericho and now we get the chance to find out.

US Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is challenging. Jericho’s entrance brings back the countdown for a nice touch. Throw in the light up scarf and a big List of Jericho on the stage and this is advantage Chris. They slug it out to start with the Walls going on less than thirty seconds in. That sends Owens bailing to the floor and a top rope forearm to the head drops Owens back inside. Owens kicks him in the face and hammers away to take over.

We hit the chinlock, with some horribly obvious spot calling, followed by the backsplash for two. They head outside for the third time with Jericho backdropping his way out of the apron powerbomb. Jericho chops away and gets two off a super hurricanrana but gets clotheslined down. The frog splash misses, the Lionsault hits knees, and the Swanton hits knees as well to give us a slow down stretch.

Now the Lionsault connects for a delayed two but Owens gets in his own Walls of Jericho. A rope is grabbed so Owens tries the Cannonball, only to be reversed into the Walls. Kevin grabs the rope for the break and is right back with the Pop Up Powerbomb for two. Another Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into the Codebreaker but Owens touches the rope with one finger for the save. That’s a sweet heel touch. Owens rolls outside and superkicks the knee, setting up the apron powerbomb to give him the pin and the title at 16:46.

Rating: C+. Not bad but they never cranked up the violence that you would have expected after seeing the Festival of Friendship. These two should have been ready to destroy each other and instead it’s just a match with Owens working the ribs and looking for a powerbomb. They accomplished the goal of making Owens look like he can win on his own, but this isn’t the way they should have gone about it.

We recap the Raw Women’s Title match. Charlotte and Sasha Banks had raised the women’s division to entirely new levels and Charlotte needed a new challenger. Enter Bayley, who won the title on Raw in a big surprise, completely defeating the purpose of her character and leaving her with nothing to do. This problem would plague her for the next year and still does to this day. Nia Jax was added to the other three because you need to have as many people in Wrestlemania matches as possible.

Raw Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax vs. Bayley

Bayley is defending under elimination rules. The tube men are at ringside for a special change of pace. Sasha rides in on the back of a chauffeured car because that’s what Sasha does. Charlotte gets a crazy amount of pyro, making her look even more like a star than usual. Everyone goes after Nia to start but she wrecks them in increasingly short order. A Banzai Drop crushes Bayley and Nia throws Charlotte off the apron onto both Bayley and Sasha. There’s something about people being thrown around like weapons.

All three get together to go after Nia with Sasha wisely grabbing the leg to keep her in place. Charlotte boots Nia in the face for a double German suplex for two in a painful looking crash. Nia is back up and tries a second Banzai, only to get TripleBombed out of the corner for the elimination at 4:08.

As usual, Nia chokes in the big match because that’s just how she rolls. Charlotte pulls Bayley to the floor and it’s Sasha hitting a flip dive to take the champ down. As you might expect, it’s the corkscrew moonsault from the top to take Bayley and Sasha down again in a huge crash.

Back in and Natural Selection is countered into a failed Bank Statement attempt. Instead Charlotte gets two off a backbreaker and rips off a turnbuckle pad in frustration. Sasha’s top rope double knees are good for two of her own and the Bank Statement goes on. Sasha goes with a rollup and the kickout sends her face first into the buckle for the elimination at 8:10.

Bayley comes back in and gets her knee rammed into the exposed buckle. The moonsault, with the wind blowing Charlotte’s hair around, only hits mat to give Bayley a near fall. Charlotte is fine enough to go after the knee and grab the Figure Eight. Bayley gets to the rope so Charlotte takes her into the Tree of Woe, only to get backdropped from the top in a big crash. The big elbow is enough to retain the title at 12:04.

Rating: D. Why can’t they get these big matches right? This was completely backwards with Nia being thrown in there at the last minute and lasting all of four minutes. Then it’s Bayley not really overcoming the odds and just pinning Charlotte after shrugging off some of the offense. It’s not some come from behind win or a big moment, but really just a match where Charlotte happened to lose.

Video on the Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Hearing Jim Cornette’s voice in WWE is just wrong.

Diamond Dallas Page. Nice reaction and WELL deserved just for his stuff with Hall and Roberts alone.

Rock N Roll Express. WAY overdue.

Rick Rude. See the Rock N Roll Express.

Teddy Long. I defy you to not smile at this.

Eric LeGrand. Warrior Award and that’s fine.

Beth Phoenix. Fine enough if a female entrant is required.

Kurt Angle. Yep. Moving on.

Support the Boys and Girls Club! Fair request actually.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Anderson and Gallows vs. Sheamus/Cesaro

No real story here as this is they’ve just been feuding and it’s time for a title match. Anderson and Gallows are defending and this is a ladder match because we have to have one. Enzo and Cass’ speech is short this time as they say they’re climbing every rung to win the titles. We’re ready to go….and here’s New Day. Yeah remember them?

Anyway they’re in wrestling gear here but first, an announcement. This is now a FATAL FOUR WAY with one more team to be added. That would be the HARDY BOYZ, making a shocking return and giving us a legitimate Wrestlemania moment. Before the music hit, I stood up and said “they wouldn’t”, which was aided as I couldn’t see that New Day was in ring gear. Amazing moment here and the twenty six million YouTube views suggest that it’s quite the popular idea. Cole says thinks are about to be BROKEN and Matt does the DELETE pose.

It’s a brawl to start (as it should be) and the Hardys waste no time with Poetry in Motion to Gallows. Enzo and Cass are taken down as well as the fans are entire enamored with the Hardys all over again. A Whisper in the Wind takes both Sheamus and Cesaro down and it’s time for the first ladder. Jeff goes up but it’s Gallows making a pretty easy save. Cesaro comes back in and climbs onto Gallows’ shoulders for a double stomp onto Anderson’s ribs. Well that worked.

This time it’s Enzo and Cass coming in, just to make sure that everyone gets their turn in you see. That goes nowhere so the Hardys bridge the ladders between the ring and the apron but Cesaro and Sheamus slam them together. With a little too much Sheamus on offense, Cass launches Enzo over the ladders like a cannonball to take him down.

Back in and Sheamus hits the ten forearms to Gallows while Cesaro Swings Anderson. Despite what Cole thinks, that’s not exactly working together. We hear about the Tag Team Titles not changing hands at Wrestlemania in SIXTEEN YEARS (that’s inexcusable) until Sheamus Brogue Kicks the heck out of Cass. Enzo shoves the ladder over to drop Gallows and Sheamus and goes up, sending Graves into hysterics over the horrible possibilities.

Sheamus and Gallows come back in for the save but don’t bother to knock him off the ladder. Instead it’s Anderson climbing the ladder and knocking Cesaro into the ladder. There’s a Magic Killer to Cesaro but Matt hits them both with a Twist of Fate, including a big one off of the ladder to Anderson. Jeff hits the required Swanton off the ladder to drive Cesaro through a bridged ladder, leaving Matt to pull the titles down at 11:05.

Rating: C+. There’s only so much you can get out of a ladder match like this with almost nothing to it other than the big Hardys return. That being said, they absolutely got the ending right as there was no other way to go here. Enzo and Cass weren’t going to work after something as special as the Hardys showing up so don’t even try. There wasn’t much to this in the way of high spots either, but this was ALL about Matt and Jeff, as it should have been.

Jimmy Fallon is here.

We recap the Miz/Maryse vs. John Cena/Nikki Bella, which is mostly about Nikki and Cena teaming together for the first time ever. The idea is that Cena won’t marry Nikki so Miz and Maryse are better, meaning we’re just waiting on Cena to pop the question here. In the show stealing moment of the year though, Miz and Maryse did some parody videos of Cena and Nikki and Total Divas/Bellas, giving us some of the funniest things WWE has ever done.

They nailed the ridiculous nature of the shows to perfection and made Miz look like the guy who should be ready to break through every ceiling above her. Oh and Maryse as Nikki Bella: sweet GOODNESS that worked on about a million levels. Finally though, a year later with Miz and Maryse now as parents, Cena’s jokes about Miz “firing blanks” are pretty much dead.

Jerry Lawler is on commentary.

Nikki Bella/John Cena vs. Maryse/The Miz

Al Roker is guest ring announcer for absolutely no reason whatsoever other than having a celebrity appearance. This is Maryse’s first match nearly six years and she doesn’t look like she’s lost a step. Cena and Nikki run down the ramp and we see a wide shot for a cool visual. Cena’s mom is in the front row and he seems shocked to see her, which would be a heck of a surprise.

The women start and there’s no contact for a minute so let’s bring in the guys instead. Miz poses on the ropes and then bails to the floor to start a chase. Back in and Miz finally stomps away as we finally make contact nearly two minutes in. Maryse gets in a poke to the eye so Miz can fire off a left hand. Cena and Nikki have had no offense so far. The fans are very pleased with Miz’s beating of Cena, mainly because they realize how awesome those Total Bellas parodies were.

Miz misses the running clothesline in the corner but Maryse breaks up the hot tag attempt by pulling Nikki off the apron. A DDT gives Miz two and he slowly does Daniel Bryan’s pose (How amazing is it that the match could ACTUALLY HAPPEN?). The YES Kicks keep Cena rocked but Miz makes the mistake of telling Nikki that she can’t see him.

A big slap puts Miz on the floor and a diving tag brings in Nikki. Some bad forearms to Maryse’s arms (Shane could do better than that) don’t do much damage so Nikki runs Miz over instead. Back in and Nikki’s big forearm sets up stereo Five Knuckle Shuffles. The AA and a Rack Attack 2.0 give us a double pin at 9:38.

Rating: D-. What in the world was that? Miz beat Cena up for about eight minutes and then it was hot tag Nikki to put the villains away Hogan style. After all the work and amazing promos, this is Miz’s Wrestlemania reward. I’m so glad this is what they went with instead of Cena vs. Undertaker, which was likely possible at this show. But hey, Total Divas and Total Bellas got a plot out of it.

Post match Cena says this is what Nikki wanted when she was rehabbing her neck. He tells a downright creepy story about Nikki being groggy before going inf or surgery. Apparently Cena asked if Nikki knew he would marry her one day. She said yes, and today is that day. Cena proposes and we get the big moment as she says yes. I’m SO glad this is what Cena, in the final few years that he has in WWE, is spending one of them doing this. It’s a sweet moment, but my goodness do this on Total Bellas where the fans want to see it.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. HHH, in another dumb story. So Rollins was HHH’s big ace in the hole a few years back and everything was all evil and great. Then Rollins tore his ACL and had to vacate the World Title, which HHH took as not being good enough to be the top guy. Let me repeat that: HHH said that leg issues were signs that someone wasn’t good enough to be the man in WWE. HHH then cost the returning Rollins the title to turn him face but now it’s time for revenge with a fired up Rollins wanting to burn the place down to destroy HHH.

Seth Rollins vs. HHH

Anything goes and, as usual, HHH gets the coolest entrance of the night with a big motorcycle and a police escort, plus Stephanie as a CRAZY HOT biker chick. Seriously, I know she can be irritating but she can rock the heck out of some leather pants. He gets the biggest entrance every year and it takes up a bunch of the spotlight but I can live with it if she’s in outfits like that.

Rollins’ entrance involves holding up a torch and touching it to the ground, sending digital flames down the ramp. I get the burn it down thing but it’s rather lame, along with coming after the really cool entrance. Well done again HHH, as he continues to be smarter than most wrestlers today.

They waste no time in slugging it out with Rollins getting the better of it (therefore I must remind you: HHH once won a slugout with modern day Brock Lesnar) to knock HHH outside. A dragon screw legwhip takes Rollins down by the knee that wasn’t hurt in the first place. Rollins shrugs it off and punches him away, followed by an enziguri back inside. The suicide dive sends HHH into the barricade and it’s already time for the announcers’ table. As usual, Rollins tries a Pedigree onto the table but gets countered with a DDT which doesn’t break the table.

HHH cranks up the violence with a chair to the knee before bridging Rollins’ knee between the ring and the table so he can drive his own knee into Rollins’. Back in and the slow knee work continues, because that’s how HHH loves to work on a show this big. Rollins tries the sunset bomb but hurts his knee all over again. It’s fine enough to hit the Buckle Bomb and a hard whip sends HHH over the corner to the floor. With HHH staggered, Rollins goes up top (Graves: “He’s screwed if he hits this or not.”) and scores with a high crossbody to the floor.

Since it’s an anything goes match, Rollins loads up a pair of chairs and a table on the floor instead of just bashing HHH with the chair. A frog splash to the back keeps HHH down but he kicks the knee out to cut Rollins off again. HHH takes forever to get up top though and gets a chair pelted at his head, setting up the superplex into the Falcon Arrow for two. You know, on the bad knee.

Stephanie breaks up the Phoenix Splash by pulling the knee onto the ropes and we hit a reverse Figure Four. That’s reversed into a Gargano Escape of all things but HHH goes smart by punching him in the knee. The reverse Figure Four goes on outside so Rollins reaches underneath the ring to find weapons. Naturally this includes the sledgehammer but HHH lets the hold go.

Back in and Rollins’ knee is fine enough for a low superkick to the face, followed by an enziguri to really hammer the point home. Stephanie takes the hammer away from Rollins though and a Pedigree gives HHH two. The fans barely even reacted to that one and I can’t say I blame them.

HHH channels his inner CM Punk and loads up a super Pedigree but gets backdropped down (already done by Bayley earlier). Now the Phoenix Splash gets two but neither can hit a Pedigree. Instead HHH hits him in the knee but walks into a superkick, which knocks Stephanie off the apron and through a table. That wakes the fans WAY up just in time for the Pedigree to give Rollins the pin at 25:25.

Rating: B-. This is an interesting one I was bored out of my mind watching it live but it flies by watching it back. That being said, the constant knee work got very dull, especially when it wasn’t even Rollins’ bad knee. As usual, the Stephanie bump got by far the strongest reaction of the night because it’s something you don’t see very often. It’s not a bad match at all but you EASILY could have chopped off ten minutes and no one would have missed a thing.

Pitbull performs the theme song and eats up way too much time.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt for the Smackdown World Title. Orton joined the Wyatt Family after becoming tired of being beaten down by the team. Then he won the Royal Rumble and promised to never cash in the title shot on new champion Wyatt. It wound up being a ruse though and Orton used his newfound access to the Wyatt Family compound to destroy the whole place. Then Bray poured Sister Abigail’s ashes over himself and gained her powers as this story got REALLY stupid. There was also something about Luke Harper nearly becoming #1 contender that went nowhere but warrants a quick mention.

Smackdown World Title: Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging and has a viper go down the ramp, which he himself called stupid. We get the Big Match Intros and Orton takes him down with a Thesz press and some right hands. They head to the floor for more right hands but Bray goes caveman with a running headbutt back inside. And then the lights go out (which I thought was a blackout) until the mat is covered with a projection of maggots. We’re about two minutes into the match and this is already in the pantheon of dumbest ideas ever.

Bray runs him over again and this time it’s worms on the mat. The referee jumps out of the ring, possibly because he wants to go work for a sensible company like TNA. A Rock Bottom into a backsplash gives Bray two but Sister Abigail is countered into a rollup for two. I mean, it doesn’t matter as they’ve completely lost the fans after that stupid, STUPID idea but never let that stop WWE.

They head outside again with Bray diving off the apron and straight into a dropkick. Sister Abigail into the barricade drops Orton again but he’s back up with an RKO to knock Bray silly on the floor. That’s only good for two back inside and Sister Abigail is countered into the backbreaker. Orton’s hanging DDT looks to set up the RKO but this time Sister Abigail connects for two. But hang on because let’s hit those roaches to complete the trio of stupid! Orton is finally done with all this nonsense and hits the RKO for the pin and the title at 10:13.

Rating: F. You are the winter, fall and spring. You are the sun that summertime brings. You are the stars in the nighttime sky. You are my girl and I’m your guy. You got me all tied up in knots and I’m lovin’ you lots and lots. I’m just lovin’ you lots and lots. I’m lovin’ you lots and lots.

That doesn’t make sense? Neither does what we just saw. Moving on.

The pilots from the flyover are here. That’s kind of cool.

We recap the Universal Title match, which all started because of a video game. Goldberg came back at Survivor Series to face Brock Lesnar in a rematch of the nightmare that was Wrestlemania XX. In a shocker, Goldberg won in about a minute and a half. Then it was decided that Goldberg could win the title again. He went on to eliminate Brock from the Royal Rumble and then won the Universal Title in about thirty seconds at Fastlane. Lesnar needed to defeat Goldberg once and for all so we’re having the match for the title tonight. This is all narrated by Paul Heyman, who talks about fantasies coming to an end in a nice touch.

Here’s the thing: you could do this same story without the title. Have Lesnar put up his career to get one more shot at Goldberg (it’s not like there was any doubt on the winner here anyway) so let us have the original plan: Owens dropping the title to Jericho (who never won the World Title as a face) and then Lesnar winning it the next month. Nah. We need GOLDBERG winning the title in a nostalgia moment for whatever reason.

Universal Title: Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Goldberg is defending and gets the long walk to the ring which might as well be the long walk to the gallows. Lesnar wastes no time and hits three German suplexes in nineteen seconds. In a great visual, the camera is on Lesnar when Goldberg cuts him down with a spear. A second spear sends Lesnar bailing and the third spear takes Lesnar through the barricade. That’s the first MINUTE of this match as they’re certainly starting fast.

Back in and both finishers are escaped, setting up another spear to Lesnar. The Jackhammer gets two, making Lesnar the second person to ever kick out (the other being Hogan, who only did it because of a missed cue). That means another spear (Heyman: “HE’S IN POSITION AGAIN!”) but this time Lesnar leapfrogs him and Goldberg hits the buckles. More suplexes (make it ten total) set up the F5 to officially conquer Goldberg at 4:47.

Rating: B. This was PERFECT for what they had to work with. Goldberg wasn’t going to be out there for a long match (he didn’t in his prime either) and they went with the right path. This was as action packed of a nearly five minute match as all you could have done. That first spear looked awesome and Goldberg gets to go out on his big moment. I’m pleased, though not as much as Goldberg, who probably made a ton of money for less than ten minutes combined of wrestling time in his comeback.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Naomi vs. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella vs. Mickie James vs. Natalya

Alexa is defending and this is the most thrown together match that I can remember in a good while. They’re also rushing through the entrances due to the time issues. You know, because NOW they care about time issues. Naomi is the hometown girl and MY GOODNESS the Glow entrance is a sight to behold in a stadium. There are no tags of course so it’s a big brawl to start.

Naomi gets sent to the floor for a double suplex from Natalya and Carmella. Back in and Becky kicks the two of them down but James Ellsworth (Remember that?) grabs Becky’s foot to take over. Bliss breaks up a cover and screams at Carmella to get out of her ring. The DDT gets two on Natalya but Becky breaks it up this time, only to have Ellsworth come in. No Chin Music is countered into a Bexploder and it’s Naomi coming back in this time.

Naomi slingshots in to sunset flip Natalya, who German suplexes Becky at the same time. Speaking of the same time, Natalya tries a double Sharpshooter on Carmella and Naomi but can’t get the legs up. Well, not surprising, but it’s so bad that the camera cuts to her back. Naomi comes back in for a Rear View to Bliss and a big dive to take everyone out. Back in and Naomi’s reverse Rings of Saturn makes Bliss tap for the title at 5:33.

Rating: D. The timing issues KILLED this and there’s no way around it. Much like the ladder match earlier, there’s nothing you can do when you have five minutes and six people in a match. Naomi winning the title back is cool, but I still have no idea why her winning it back in her hometown is supposed to be some huge deal. Yeah it’s cool, but it’s not like this is some great moment.

Wrestlemania XXXIV is in New Orleans. Those songs will drive you crazy by the end of the weekend.

New Day comes out to thank the fans for the record attendance of 75,245. The team is still funny but egads they could have been cut out of this whole thing and not been missed.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Undertaker. Reigns eliminated him from the Rumble and now we have a match to determine who is the real Big Dog.

Jim Ross is out to do commentary for the main event. That’s even more impressive when you consider his wife died days before this show.

Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns

No holds barred, first announced before the entrances. Reigns is booed out of the stadium, as has become a custom. In a smart move, Undertaker rises from the middle of the ramp (with a cool visual of smoke building up and clearing to reveal him standing there). I completely missed this as I was looking at the stage and then glanced down to the ring and saw him climbing the steps.

Undertaker slugs away in the corner to start and knocks Reigns to the floor. Back in and Reigns knocks him over the top as well, with Undertaker landing on his feet. Reigns hammers him down to take over and they head outside so this can be more of a brawl, which is the only way to go. The apron dropkick (to a standing Undertaker) puts Undertaker down again but he wins a slugout back inside. Reigns hits him in the face and Undertaker just looks mad.

Snake Eyes and the big boot set up the legdrop for two. The threat of a chokeslam sends Reigns outside again and this time the apron dropkick is punched out of the air. Another dropkick staggers Undertaker but it’s a chokeslam onto the announcers’ table. They climb onto the other tables and it’s a spear to drive Undertaker through (almost in a running spinebuster) for the double knockout.

Reigns is the only one back in….and Undertaker sits up. Back in and Reigns does the corner clotheslines into the corner right hands, meaning the Last Ride (an AWFUL one at that with little impact and more Undertaker dropping Reigns than slamming him down). It’s chair time but Undertaker takes it away and beats him down instead. A quick Superman Punch knocks Undertaker into the ropes but another is countered into a chokeslam onto the chair.

The Tombstone gets two and the fans, who are supposed to be smart at Wrestlemania, seem shocked at the kickout. Off the first Tombstone. In a Wrestlemania match. Who’s the smart one here? Another Tombstone is loaded up but this time Reigns backflips….and just can’t lift Undertaker for the counter. They try a few more times but just stop for the sake of embarrassment with Reigns trying a Superman Punch instead.

The spear connects but Undertaker is fine enough to put on Hell’s Gate. The rope is reached for a break (erg) and Reigns unloads with the chair. Another spear gets another two and another spear gets another two and another Superman Punch (Undertaker sits up and falls over) sets up another spear to give Undertaker his second Wrestlemania loss at 22:57. That last sequence took nearly five minutes.

Rating: D+. It’s not terrible, but Undertaker looked like an old man who should have hung it up a few years ago. The problem here was the crowd being completely dead and it showed really badly. There’s only so much energy you can have in an academic match at the end of a seven hour show. Reigns winning makes complete sense but it was a bad match (the botches and CRAZY amount of time spent standing around didn’t do it any favors) and there’s no way around that.

Reigns gets the big pyro display behind him as he stands on the ramp (great shot) but we’re not done yet. Undertaker slowly sits up and we go to a bunch of replays. Back to live and it’s Undertaker standing in the ring with the hat and coat on. I use that term loosely as it looks like Mark Callaway standing there dressed as Undertaker. For the first time, it seems like we’re seeing the real person instead of the character, which is a MAJOR change for him.

He looks around to the crowd, takes off his gloves, coat and hat and folds them up in the ring. With the fans applauding, he goes outside, kisses Michelle McCool, and walks up the ramp. Undertaker stops, looks back one more time, raises the fist, and lowers down through the ramp, fist still in the air, to end the show with the gong sounding one more time. There was no commentary for the last ten minutes, without even a goodbye (appropriate here).

That’s about as perfect of a sendoff as WWE has ever done. It was emotional, it felt special, and it came off like the real thing. Undertaker is the last vestige of that older generation and him breaking character for the first time ever and leaving is incredible to see. It’s why I don’t want to see him wrestle again and why it makes me sad to think that he will. Incredible stuff, and Thank You Taker.

Overall Rating: C+. There’s no way around it: this show is way way way way way way way WAY too long. I got through an hour of the show a few days back (you know I’m not watching this in one sitting) and looked down at the bar in near horror of how little space I had covered. Five hours, plus TWO HOURS of a Kickoff Show is just too much, especially when there’s stuff to be cut. What could be cut? Well off the top of my head:

AJ vs. Shane (move AJ to ANYTHING else and drop Shane) entirely or at least cut it down by about eight minutes

Corbin vs. Ambrose (I know it’s the Intercontinental Title but on a show this huge, it’s understandable)

Smackdown Women’s Title (it’s just nothing and felt like total filler)

Five to ten minutes each off of Reigns vs. Undertaker and HHH vs. Rollins (those combine for nearly fifty minutes total)

Pitbull

AT LEAST get this down to four and a half hours of main show. That can’t be too much to ask, right?

Other than the timing issues though, the show is mostly solid. There’s a ton of good stuff up until the mixed tag and then things start to fall apart. The Universal Title match was as perfect as it was going to be get but there’s just so much bad around it (Bray vs. Orton, Reigns vs. Undertaker, HHH vs. Rollins in that match that is still going on somewhere, with HHH still working the knee) that the good is dragged down.

At the end of the day, it all comes back to the timing issues as there’s almost no way to make a show this long work. It’s too much to sit through and it becomes a chore at the end. Just cut this down by a good hour (or two) and things are much better, but bigger is better for WWE and that’s not changing anytime soon. As it is, the show works more than it misses but it’s still not a classic by any means.

Ratings Comparison

Neville vs. Austin Aries

Original: A-

2018 Redo: B

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D

2018 Redo: D-

Dean Ambrose vs. Baron Corbin

Original: C+

2018 Redo: C-

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles

Original: B

2018 Redo: B

Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2018 Redo: C+

Sasha Banks vs. Bayley vs. Charlotte vs. Nia Jax

Original: C-

2018 Redo: D

Hardy Boyz vs. Anderson and Gallows vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Sheamus/Cesaro

Original: B

2018 Redo: C+

John Cena/Nikki Bella vs. The Miz/Maryse

Original: D

2018 Redo: D-

HHH vs. Seth Rollins

Original: C+

2018 Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

Original: F

2018 Redo: F

Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

Original: B

2018 Redo: B

Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella vs. Mickie James vs. Natalya

Original: D-

2018 Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns

Original: D+

2018 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2018 Redo: C+

Yeah I overrated a lot of this the first time around. It’s good, but not that good.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/04/07/wrestlemania-xxxiii-a-long-wait-for-a-long-show-with-a-long-ramp/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Elimination Chamber 2022
Date: February 19, 2022
Location: Jeddah Super Dome, Jeddah, Saudi Arabia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re back on the other side of the world this time and the card is pretty stacked. There are two Elimination Chamber matches to go with three women’s matches as we get ready for Wrestlemania. That could go in more than one direction and the show seems a bit more interesting as a result. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

Dominik Mysterio is here with Rey. Miz knocks him down to start and hits the early posing on the ropes. Back up and Rey headscissors him into 619 position but Miz isn’t quite ready for that. Instead Rey knocks him to the floor for the sliding splash, setting off a 619 chant. Dominik sends Miz back inside (twerp) but he breaks up something from Rey on the top. They head outside again with Miz sending him into the barricade, setting up the running kick to the face back inside.

The chinlock sets up the YES Kicks but, as usual, the big one misses. Another headscissors sends Miz into the post and there’s the top rope seated senton to drop him again. Miz is back with a DDT for two but the Skull Crushing Finale is broken up. The 619 connects so Miz has to roll outside before the top rope splash can launch.

Miz grabs a chair, earning himself a dive from Rey. Dominik grabs the chair and takes it away, so Miz fakes being shoved into the steps. That’s enough for an ejection of Dominik, but Rey counters the 619 into a cradle for the pin at 9:15, proving that Dominik is in fact worthless and a detriment.

Rating: C+. These two work well together and putting Rey out there is a good way to open any show. The fans are going to respond to him and the high flying/fast paced stuff is still more than entertaining enough to watch. Odds are this sets up Dominik beating Miz as well, because Dominik will be a thing whether you like him or not.

Post match Miz goes after Rey, which draws Dominik back in for the save. A double 619 sets up back to back frog splashes to leave Miz laying.

The opening video looks at how the Elimination Chamber is here, which sets us on the Road to WrestleMania. The rest of the matches get a look as well.

We recap Goldberg vs. Roman Reigns for Reigns’ Universal Title. Reigns is on the way to Wrestlemania and Brock Lesnar but he has to stop for a match against Goldberg, who just said he was getting a title match.

Universal Title: Roman Reigns vs. Goldberg

Reigns, with the rest of the Bloodline, is defending. They stare at each other for a good while and the GOLDBERG chants are on. The big power lockup goes to Goldberg but Reigns starts punching him in the face. Goldberg is sent outside but he sends Reigns into the barricade for a breather. Back in and the spear cuts Reigns down but the Jackhammer is countered into a release Rock Bottom. The Superman Punch drops Goldberg again but Reigns’ spear is countered by Goldberg’s spear. The Jackhammer doesn’t work though as Reigns reverses into the guillotine and Goldberg is out at 5:59.

Rating: C. Happy days are here again as they can’t threaten us with this stupid match anymore. It wasn’t exactly good but it was short, which is the most important aspect of any Goldberg match. I know it would have been insane to change the title here, but it isn’t like they haven’t done something nutty with Goldberg before. This could have been far worse, which is about the benchmark for most Goldberg matches these days.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Rhea Ripley vs. Doudrop vs. Bianca Belair vs. Liv Morgan vs. Nikki Ash vs. Alexa Bliss

For the Raw Women’s Title shot at Wrestlemania. Nikki and Liv start, leaving Alexa in her pod, complete with swing (because of course). Liv gets sent into the cage, the Plexiglas and the cage floor until Doudrop is in after about two minutes. Doudrop comes in at #3 and drives Nikki into the cage over and over before cutting off Liv for trying to break it up. A missed charge sends Doudrop into the post though and Nikki is left alone in the ring as Rhea Ripley is in at #4.

The stalking is on but Ripley has to superkick Doudrop. Ripley sends Nikki into the cage and climbs the cage to pose a bit, setting up Riptide to get rid of Nikki at 6:18. Alexa Bliss is in at #5 and gets to clean house, including Insult To Injury for two on Morgan. Back up and Morgan knocks Bliss down and goes up but Doudrop shoves her off the ropes (with Morgan’s leg getting caught) for a crash. Ripley offers a distraction though and Morgan hits a sunset bomb to get rid of Doudrop at 8:51.

Bianca Belair is in at #6 to complete the field as Morgan might have hurt her knee when she got caught on the ropes. Belair hits a scary one armed gorilla press on Morgan and a handspring moonsault hits Bliss. We get the Ripley vs. Belair showdown but they stop to suplex Bliss and Belair instead (with Bliss’ dress falling onto Ripley’s face while she’s upside down). The staredown is on again and they trade some hard slaps to the face. The KOD is broken up but Morgan hits a double Codebreaker.

Bliss is back up with what looked like a running Blockbuster to Morgan, setting up Twisted Bliss for the elimination at 12:08. Bliss hits Ripley with a DDT and the KOD gives Belair the pin at 12:41, leaving us with Bliss vs. Belair. A Code Red gives Bliss two but Belair powers her down. The 450 misses but Bliss can’t hit her DDT. Instead Belair powers her up for a suplex, which is broken up as well. Another DDT is blocked so Bliss rolls her up for two. Belair has had it though and hits the KOD for the pin and the title shot at 15:35.

Rating: C+. The time was all over the place here and I believe this is the shortest Elimination Chamber match ever. The good thing is that they didn’t go nuts by having Bliss win in her return to push her straight to Wrestlemania. As much as I wanted Ripley to win, Belair has unfinished business with Becky Lynch so that is probably the right way to go.

Video on Bobby Lashley.

WWE met with some Special Olympians this weekend.

Naomi/Ronda Rousey vs. Sonya Deville/Charlotte

Deville has a bad arm coming in and as a result, Rousey has to have an arm tied behind her back. Rousey comes to the ring in her judo gear for a different look. We get a video on Rousey before we’re ready to go. Deville and Rousey start things off and believe it or not, Deville’s arm is suddenly fine. Charlotte offers a distraction so Deville can jump Rousey in the corner.

A kick to the head rocks Deville though and a knee to the head does it again. Rousey wants Charlotte, who is fine enough to come in, only to tag right back out. Naomi comes in to jump Sonya but gets sent hard into the corner. A clothesline is avoided with a slide though and it’s back to Rousey, who tries the armbar on Sonya. That’s broken up with a kick to the face though and Charlotte gets to chop away in the corner.

The double teaming continues, with Charlotte kicking Naomi off the apron. A hammerlock goes onto Ronda’s good arm but she manages to knock Charlotte down and bring Naomi back in. The springboard kick to the face rocks Charlotte but Rousey is knocked outside. Back up and the hot tag brings in Rousey, setting up Piper’s Pit to Deville. Charlotte is fine enough to look on as Deville taps to the armbar at 9:12.

Rating: C. It went a bit longer than it needed to but they did what they needed to do. There was no reason to have Charlotte and Rousey do anything important here and they didn’t waste time. Rousey gets to look like a force and Deville will be fine after a quick promo where she abuses her power again. It might not have been great, but it did its job.

We recap Madcap Moss vs. Drew McIntyre. Moss and Happy Corbin injured McIntyre’s neck and put him out for about a month so it’s time for revenge in a Falls Count Anywhere match.

Drew McIntyre vs. Madcap Moss

Falls Count Anywhere and Happy Corbin is here with Moss. Corbin helps jump McIntyre to start and the fight heads outside. Another shot from Corbin wakes McIntyre up so the chase is on, with Corbin bailing to the back. Moss tries to jump the distracted McIntyre but he gets kicked in the face instead. Corbin runs back out to keep Moss from being thrown off the stage and it’s a double suplex to drop McIntyre.

Back in and McIntyre fights back, setting up the reverse Alabama Slam, with Moss landing HARD on top of his head in a terrifying crash. Corbin offers a distraction but Moss charges into a belly to belly on the floor. McIntyre tells commentary to move so he can suplex Moss over the announcers’ table. Corbin is back up to send McIntyre through the barricade for two but McIntyre is fine enough to hit a superplex for his own near fall back inside. The Futureshock sets up the Claymore (with McIntyre holding Angela the sword) for the pin at 9:11.

Rating: C-. What else were you expecting here? McIntyre wasn’t going to break a hard sweat against Moss and this was little more than an extended workout. I’m sure we’ll get McIntyre vs. Corbin at Wrestlemania and it won’t be much better because it’s just finishing this story off. I know WWE thinks it’s a big enough deal but who could possibly be interested in this show?

We recap the Kickoff Show match with Rey Mysterio beating Miz, followed by Dominik beating up Miz for a bonus.

Miz is furious and promises to get a partner to help deal with the Mysterios. He is off for a phone call.

WWE Superstars had fun in Jeddah, because it’s different here.

Raw Women’s Title: Becky Lynch vs. Lita

Lita is challenging and shoulders Becky down to start, earning a YOU STILL GOT IT chant. The Twist of Fame is broken up and Becky snaps the back of Lita’s neck across the top. The stomping is on before Becky kicks away at the ribs. Becky’s middle rope Fameasser brings Lita out of the ropes for two and the Bexploder gets the same. Another Bexploder is countered into a DDT for two and the comeback is on. Lita hits a middle rope crossbody for two and they go to a pinfall reversal sequence.

Lynch gets caught grabbing the rope so Lita pulls her into a sleeper, which Lynch needs the rope to escape. A powerbomb out of the corner gives Lita two and she busts out a Trish Stratus Stratusfaction. A snapmare driver gives Lita two but Becky is back with the Disarm-Her. That’s blocked as well, so Becky hits the Manhandle Slam for two, with Lita getting a food on the rope. Lynch misses a moonsault so Lita hits a Twist of Fate into the Litasault for her own near fall. Back up and Lynch hits a quick Manhandle Slam to retain at 12:14.

Rating: C+. Considering Lita has barely wrestled in years, this was a pretty entertaining match. Lynch wasn’t about to drop the title but they gave Lita a lot here, as they should have. I do like bringing in these legends to face the champions on occasion, as it is a good way to bridge the gap between the major title defenses. Sometimes it’s ok to have a quick story without the drama and that is what they did here.

Post match Becky leaves and Lita gets a bit of a sendoff.

Undertaker is in the Hall of Fame and we get the same long form video from this week’s Smackdown.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Viking Raiders

The Usos are defending…..at some point in the future as they jump the Raiders on the floor and lay them out. No match.

Video on Seth Rollins.

We recap the men’s Elimination Chamber for the WWE Title. Bobby Lashley beat Brock Lesnar to take the title at the Royal Rumble so Lesnar wanted a rematch. This is as good as he can get, which seems to suit him just fine.

WWE Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Brock Lesnar vs. Riddle vs. Seth Rollins vs. Austin Theory vs. AJ Styles

Lashley is defending and it’s Seth Rollins starting with Austin Theory. During Lesnar’s entrance, Cole used the line “playing with the house’s money” for the third time tonight. Rollins hits a Sling Blade to start but Theory is back with a release fisherman’s suplex. Some superkicks put Theory down and it’s a Buckle Bomb into Lashley’s pod to leave Lashley and Riddle laying.

Riddle is in at #3 and beats on Riddle as Lashley is helped out of the Chamber. Rollins catches Riddle on top for a reverse superplex and there’s a frog splash to give Rollins two. AJ Styles is in at #4 and powerbombs Rollins down for a fast two. A double superplex is loaded up but Theory makes the save and powerbombs Rollins and Styles down. It’s supposed to be Lashley in next but since he isn’t here, Lesnar kicks his pod open and starts wrecking people. The F5 finishes Rollins at 9:48 and another F5 finishes Riddle at 10:13.

At the same time, we are told that Lashley will not be back, meaning that there will be a new champion tonight. Another F5 gets rid of Styles at 10:57 and it’s Lesnar vs. Theory for the title. Theory tries to hide in a pod but Lesnar breaks it open and suplexes Theory onto the cage. Theory gets in a low blow and a rolling dropkick, setting up a DDT for two.

Lesnar glares at him so Theory climbs the Chamber and manages to get halfway out of the top before Lesnar pulls him back down. Lesnar slams him head first into the Plexiglas on top of the pod and then F5s him down onto the Chamber floor. That’s enough for Lesnar to win the title at 14:52.

Rating: C. It was short and to the point, which believe it or not was Lesnar gets another World Title, because he hasn’t had one in all of a few weeks now. I’m curious to see how Lashley is tied into the whole thing as he has a case to get another title shot, though it wouldn’t surprise me to see it ignored so we can do Reigns vs. Lesnar. Again. For both titles. Since no one else in WWE matters. Again.

Lesnar poses for a long time to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. It was better than most of the Saudi shows but it was about as ho hum of a card as you could have had. There were some good enough matches, but the focus was on setting up Brock Lesnar, Becky Lynch, Roman Reigns and Charlotte for Wrestlemania as WWE continues to rely on the same people over and over. There wasn’t a bad match on the show, though the booking continues to not exactly be the most exciting thing in the world. I’ll take it over the Crown Jewel and Super Showdown shows though so at least it’s a step up.

Results
Roman Reigns b. Goldberg – Guillotine choke
Bianca Belair won the women’s Elimination Chamber match last eliminating Alexa Bliss
Ronda Rousey/Naomi b. Sonya Deville/Charlotte – Armbar to Deville
Drew McIntyre b. Madcap Moss – Claymore
Becky Lynch b. Lita – Manhandle Slam
Brock Lesnar won the men’s Elimination Chamber last eliminating Austin Theory

 

 

 

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It’s time to head back halfway around the world as WWE is returning to Saudi Arabia. This time is a little different though, as the show will feature the Elimination Chamber rather than some generically titles event. The card could look a lot worse as there are three women’s matches and two Elimination Chamber matches, including one match where those two categories cross over. Let’s get to it.

Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

We’ll start with the match voted Most Likely To Be Demoted To The Kickoff Show as these two are fighting over Miz’s treatment of Dominik Mysterio. Yeah that’s a pretty lame reason to have the match but that has never stopped WWE from setting something up. This feels like a feud that has some legs to it and hopefully that could be a good thing, though it kind of hinges on the first match.

I’ll take Miz to win here, as it should give you a reason to get to Miz vs. Dominik. That might not be the most interesting match but it is something that we have to do at some point. WWE seems intent on getting Dominik over and that means they need to do something like have Miz beat Dominik’s dad to set it up. Miz goes over here, as it means someone needs to take him out later.

Madcap Moss vs. Drew McIntyre

This is the continuation of this feud for reasons that I don’t want to know, but odds are it leads to a showdown with Happy Corbin at WrestleMania. I have no idea how that is the best thing WWE can come up with for McIntyre, but what else could it be setting up? This is Falls Count Anywhere as a way for McIntyre to have some more fun, but I don’t know if that changes the result.

I’m going to go with what makes sense here and say McIntyre wins here, though I’m almost scared of the idea of Corbin cheating to help Moss win. McIntyre should be ready for something huge after WrestleMania but we have to get through Corbin and Moss first. That right there kind of sums up one of WWE’s biggest issues: there might be something good down the line, but you have to get through WWE’s lame idea first.

Universal Title: Roman Reigns(c) vs. Goldberg

You know what’s annoying about this match? I mean in addition to the fact that it is happening? WWE just might be crazy enough to put the title on Goldberg for some sort of conquering hero deal, as they have been nuttier than that before. As much as I’d like to believe that reigns slays Goldberg here to FINALLY let them get this match out of their system, I can’t help but think there is a chance they do otherwise.

That being said, I’ll still take Reigns here, at least partially for the sake of my own sanity. There is no logical reason for Goldberg to take the title from Reigns and then drop it back a few weeks later, but stranger things have happened. For now though, I’ll go with Reigns to win here and set up his match with Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania, because that is just what everyone wanted from Reigns: back to back showdowns with Goldberg and Lesnar.

Women’s Elimination Chamber

These matches are almost always a mix of dumb luck and eliminating some of the least likely candidates. This time around, you can write off Liv Morgan, Nikki Ash and Doudrop, as they aren’t challenging for anything at WrestleMania. That leaves Rhea Ripley, Alexa Bliss and Bianca Belair as potential winners and that means we have three viable options for this one.

I think I’ll actually take Ripley, who would be a fresh and interesting match with Lynch (and who might actually have a chance since she isn’t facing Charlotte). Belair is also an option due to needing revenge after the Summerslam title change, but I think that ship might have already sailed. Bliss could be in there as well, but this return screams some kind of screwy finish involving that dumb doll. Ripley wins here, in what is likely my false hope pick of the show.

SmackDown Tag Team Titles: Usos(c) vs. Viking Raiders

This would be your tag defense of the month for the Usos as they face one of the only other regular and successful teams on SmackDown. They have even pulled out all the stops by having the teams trade singles wins on SmackDown. That should be more than enough to set this up (at least in the modern WWE style) so maybe we can get something out of the pure talent involved.

In what should be the least dramatic match of the night, I’ll take the Usos to retain here. There is no reason to suggest that the Vikings are going to be able to defeat the best team in WWE today (and one of the best ever) so I’m not sure what kind of suspense this one is going to have. The good thing is that the match itself should be good with the speed vs. the power, but there is almost no chance of a title change here.

Ronda Rousey/Naomi vs. Charlotte/Sonya Deville

There is nothing wrong with a match that combines two feuds into one and they have done a nice enough job of it here. The twist this time is that Rousey’s arm will be tied behind her back because she ran her mouth a few weeks ago about how easy it should be to beat Deville. That should be enough of a way to let Charlotte get in some cheap shots as she and Rousey head on to WrestleMania, which is the main point of this match.

I’ll go with Rousey/Naomi winning as Naomi pins Deville. You don’t want the champ or the challenger taking a fall and since Naomi has already gotten the better of Deville, there is no reason to go back and mess with things again. Naomi could use another win to keep up her momentum and Rousey/Charlotte can be on their own while Naomi gets another pin on Deville.

Raw Women’s Title: Becky Lynch(c) vs. Lita

I’m not sure if this is supposed to be some big time competitive match where Lita is seen as a real threat or a “wouldn’t it be cool if” come to life. Lynch has been the champion for the better part of ever and there are very few people that I buy as having a chance to take the title. Lita isn’t exactly one of those people, but the cool thing is that she should be able to have some kind of a great match under any circumstances.

In case it isn’t that clear of a choice, I’m going with Lynch to retain before she finally drops the title in a pretty big match at WrestleMania. This is probably it for Lita (for now) as she is usually best in small doses. The match should work out well due to both of the women being very good at what they do, but I can’t bring myself to believe that Lita is potentially winning the title here.

WWE Title: Men’s Elimination Chamber

This one has some higher stakes and that is a nice thing to see. It also has a few potential ways to go, as there are more than a few options here. Again, we’ll eliminate those with no chance first. Riddle, Austin Theory and AJ Styles (I think) have no chance so we’ll write them off already. That leaves us with the defending champion Bobby Lashley, Seth Rollins and Brock Lesnar, meaning you have at least two viable options and one kind of longshot.

I’m really not sure where to go here as I don’t want Lesnar getting the title back but I also don’t know if I can picture him losing. I’ll go with some sort of shenanigans leading to Lashley retaining, which could range from Roman Reigns interfering (perhaps after Lesnar did the same to him to make up for the Royal Rumble) to MVP cheating to a bunch of people going after Lesnar at once. I’m probably wrong, but I’d like to see Lashley get another good run with the title. That being said, I can’t shake the idea of Rollins winning either. We’ll go with Lashley just to pick one of the three.

Overall Thoughts

There is the potential for a good show on this card, despite there being more than a few matches without that much drama. Since WWE has decided this is the way their calendar works, this is going to be the last stop on the Road to WrestleMania, meaning that it is time to get things going as well as possible. I’m hoping this show can pull that off, but you never know with this company anymore. The Chambers should work, but as usual, it is all going to depend on which direction they take.

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 14, 2022
Location: Gainbridge Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Jimmy Smith Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Elimination Chamber and that means it’s time for a lot of talking about the matches that have already been made for Saturday’s show. It also means that we are in for another limited commercial show, because if there is one thing WWE needs, it is more content. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video now has a voiceover saying “FOREVER. TOGETHER.”

Here is Bobby Lashley with MVP to get things going. Lashley talks about having to go through the Elimination Chamber to get to WrestleMania as WWE Champion. The Chamber has shortened careers and impacted lives….but so has he. MVP says there is 16% chance of Lashley retaining the title, but when you add in the Almighty Quotient, it is about 100%.

Cue Seth Rollins to interrupt, saying that Lashley looks great, but not as great as he does. Rollins talks about how Lashley is champion right now but he knows someone who can take the title. MVP threatens Rollins with Lashley violence but here is Riddle, in a toga, to interrupt. Riddle thinks the Elimination Chamber is like last week’s quiz bowl (Rollins isn’t sure) because he remembers being locked in a gas station bathroom. When the security guard let him out, Riddle knew he could do anything. Imagine him as the WWE Champion to go with his Tag Team Titles when he and Randy Orton win them back soon.

Riddle invites the two of them to the toga party but here is Austin Theory to interrupt. Vince McMahon has taught him so many things that he can use on Saturday that he has to win. Cue AJ Styles to say he has to win because he needs a defining Wrestlemania moment. Maybe he could walk in as the US Champion (which he can become tonight) and WWE Champion! Riddle says that would be cool, but not as cool as AJ coming to the RKBroga party!

Lashley says he’s the only one who has won an Elimination Chamber and runs down everyone else’s chances. That includes Brock Lesnar, who comes out to interrupt, tips his cowboy hat, and takes his time getting into the ring. Brock takes off the jacket and hat, and puts them on Theory. Lesnar and Lashley go face to face so Theory jumps….well over Lesnar actually. Suplex City ensues as everyone else leaves. Lesnar gets his hat back and uses Theory’s phone for a quick selfie. To be fair, the hat really works for him. This was the latest revolving door segment and as usual, it only kind of succeeded.

The Street Profits run down tonight’s card.

Street Profits vs. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode

We see a clip of Dolph Ziggler coming to NXT and getting in a fight with Tommaso Ciampa. As a result, Ciampa is here on commentary. Ford dropkicks Ziggler at the bell so it’s off to Roode for a swinging Rock Bottom. Ziggler is back in for a shot to the face and his own two but Ford’s kick to the head allows the double (jumping) tags. Dawkins cleans house until Roode catches him with a powerslam for two. Hold on though as Ciampa needs to get up and applaud Ziggler. The threat of a superkick makes Ciampa throw water in Ziggler’s face, leaving Dawkins to Anoint Ziggler. Ford’s frog splash is good for the pin at 2:44.

Post match Ziggler superkicks Ciampa but bails from the Street Profits going after him.

We look back at RKBro winning the Quiz Bowl last week.

We go to the RKBroga party, where Riddle wants to know where Randy Orton is. Queen Zelina thinks it’s for her but Riddle starts a BROGA chant.

Randy Orton is in another locker room and seems to find this dumb. He also wants to be ready for his match against Seth Rollins, because Rollins is always planning things. This is Monday, so Rollins is going to take the RKO.

Rocky Johnson Black History Month video.

We look at Kevin Owens not being able to get into the Elimination Chamber, which hurts him even more because he can’t be WWE Champion in Texas.

According to a fan poll, Owens is LYING about his love of Texas.

Kevin Owens is sad that he can’t be in the Elimination Chamber, but at least that means he doesn’t have to be in the Elimination Chamber in Texas. He can’t stand Texas, just like he can’t stand Indianapolis. Owens is from the intelligent and sophisticated Canada.

US Title: AJ Styles vs. Damian Priest

Priest is defending and takes Styles down by the arm to start. A quick slam gives Priest two and we hit a chinlock with a knee in Styles’ back. Styles fights up but the Styles Clash is countered into a flapjack. Something like a Dominator gives Priest two but Styles comes right back with a Pele kick. That’s enough to send them outside, where Priest spinwheel kicks Styles’ leg out in a clever knockdown. Back in and Styles kicks him in the face and loads up the Phenomenal Forearm, only to have Priest grab the ropes. That’s enough to let Priest grab a rollup for the pin to retain at 4:34.

Rating: C+. That was better and I was surprised by the result. Priest needed a win to put him back on the right path and a clean pin over Styles is a good way to get there. The good thing is that Styles can absorb a loss where he gets caught like that a good bit more than Priest, who had been on a pretty nasty run as of late. Now just let him be a monster again and we might be getting somewhere.

Post match, Styles nods at him in respect and shakes Priest’s hand.

We go back to Alexa Bliss’ therapy, where she is looking a bit more normal, with her hair down and in more regular clothing (though I’m not sure where it would be regular). The therapist says, aside from the incident in the grocery store, last week was good. It was so good, that she has earned a gift. What would she like it to be? Actually she would like the music to stop, but he has something else in mind: Lilly’s unstuffed body, and the stuffing to go with it! She gets a bit shaky but the therapist pulls out a backup, and still constructed, Lilly doll.

Omos vs. Cedric Alexander/Shelton Benjamin

Alexander tries to sneak up on Omos but gets claw shoved into the corner. Shelton comes in and gets beaten down as well, leaving Alexander to get chokeslammed for the pin at 1:34. Total dominance.

We look back at Dana Brooke turning down Reggie’s unspoken offer of romance.

Reggie and Dana Brooke are having a platonic Valentine’s Day dinner but Tamina and Akira Tozawa, in disguise, are here too.

It’s back to the RKBroga party, where Riddle gives Kevin Patrick a pep talk when the Street Profits show up. That means Angelo Dawkins gets to dominate at beer pong, earning himself some cheers.

Adam Pearce is in the ring for a contract signing between Becky Lynch and Lita. After Lita comes to the ring, Becky comes out looking depressed, with much less gaudy clothes than usual and sunglasses on, though she can barely look ahead. Becky sits down and says Lita doesn’t have to do this. She hasn’t slept all week as she can’t imagine doing this against her teenage idol.

Lita asks the fans if she should tear up the contract or sign it and shut Becky up. She isn’t back for one more match but one more run. That’s one more championship run, and the match is happening if Becky wants it to or not. Lita signs, which makes Becky say Lita is pushing her.

Becky gets more serious and says she will do everything to keep the title on her shoulder. Now Lynch signs, so Lita says that it is on her to finish it. The only thing that is ending on Sunday though is the 500 day title reign (not quite) when Lita wins the title. Becky puts her glasses back on and leaves all sad. This was kind of weird and didn’t exactly work, but at least they tried something different.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Gauntlet Match

The winner gets to enter the Elimination Chamber last with Rhea Ripley in at #1 and Nikki Ash is in at #2. We’re joined in progress with Nikki tying her in the ring skirt to hammer away before going with the armbar. Ripley fights up but gets taken right back down into a cravate, which doesn’t do much good. With that broken up, Rhea hits some clotheslines but the Riptide is countered as well. Ash goes up but her crossbody is countered into…something where Ripley drops her. Not that it matters as Riptide finishes Nikki at 4:17.

Liv Morgan is in at #3 (now in much brighter gear) and we hear her talk about how she has been in the Chamber again. She’ll survive again though, just like she always does. We take another break and come back with some rollups getting two each before Morgan hits a running elbow in the corner. The chinlock goes on but Rhea fights up, only to get caught in a hurricanrana faceplant. Back up and Ripley grabs the Prism Trap, sending Ripley away for the escape. A superkick sets up Riptide to get rid of Morgan at 14:04.

Doudrop is #4 and they start by shoving each other a bit. Ripley has to power her way out of a headlock and an exchange of shoulders doesn’t go anywhere. An exchange of headbutts sets up a belly to back suplex to drop Ripley and Doudrop splashes her for two. Ripley is back up and hits a dropkick to put Doudrop down but the standing clothes just wake Doudrop up. Riptide is blocked and Doudrop headbutts her, only to get kicked in the head. A pretty fast Riptide gets rid of Doudrop at 23:48 and Bianca Belair is in at #5.

Back with Ripley in trouble but Belair goes to the apron for her kiss it deal. After backflipping over Ripley, Belair hits a delayed vertical suplex (with some high steps) for two. The abdominal stretch goes on for a good while before Belair hits the handspring moonsault for two more. Belair knocks her outside but gets sent into the steps to put both of them down and we take another break.

Back again with Belair faceplanting her for two but Ripley is right back with a failed Riptide attempt. Belair puts her on top for a slugout with Belair getting the better of things. Another handspring moonsault only hits knees though and Ripley goes up top for a heck of a missile dropkick for two more. The Prism Trap goes on again but Belair rolls out and hits a spinebuster. The KOD finishes Ripley at 40:34…and I guess we’ll find out who is entering the Chamber last on Saturday because that’s it.

Rating: B-. This was a match that got a lot of time and that is a good thing, as sometimes a very long wrestling match is the best thing for a show. Ripley gets to look like a star and while I don’t imagine her having the best chance on Saturday, it was good to see her getting some significant ring time for a change. Belair winning is a perfectly fine way to go, though I was kind of expecting to see the sixth entrant return here. Anyway, good, long match here and that often helps.

Respect is shown post match.

Back at the RKBroga Party, Riddle plays the guitar and sings until the Alpha Academy jumps him from behind. Riddle is left laying, with Chad Gable saying the party is over, bro.

We go back to the restaurant, where R-Truth and company chase after Dana Brooke (with the referee getting some food samples), who hides with Reggie. Dana is rather happy but Reggie wants to take their friendship to the next level. She politely turns him down again, so Reggie rolls her up to win the title. After Reggie and then the regular selection of nitwits mock Brooke, the waiter asks if that will be cash or card. At least the story seems to have ended, for now.

Mysterios vs. Alpha Academy

Non-title. Hold on though, as Chad Gable has to insult the crowd by putting them on double secret probation, even if they are probably already on some kind of probation. Then you have these same people helping RKBro win the Academic Challenge, LIKE IT WAS FAIR! Why were we talking about Michelangelo the turtle instead of the painter? Then there is Dominik, who had to cheat to beat Miz last week. Cue Miz and Maryse for commentary and we take a break before the bell.

We come back joined in progress with Otis splashing Rey, setting up Gable’s suplex for two. Rey fights up without much trouble and hands it off to Dominik for some suplexes and the Eddie Guerrero dance. Gable cuts him off with a tiger suplex for two as Rey makes the save. The Academy is sent outside and we take a break.

Back again with Dominik diving over to make the hot tag to Rey, who headscissors Chad down. Otis has to make a save so Dominik breaks that up, leaving Gable to take a double 619. Rey dives onto Miz at ringside so Dominik goes up for a high crossbody, only to have Gable roll through and grab the tights for the pin at 10:34.

Rating: C. Not too shabby of a tag match here, but the stalling before the match felt like they were trying to fill in time rather than having anything to say. At the same time, the Mysterios continue to be a tale of two wrestlers, as Rey feels fun even in his late 40s and Dominik is just there. Find something new for him, because this isn’t exactly interesting.

Post match Miz throws Dominik outside and gives Rey the Skull Crushing Finale.

Back to Alexa Bliss’ therapy, where the therapist tells her she can go. Bliss even has the replica Lilly doll, which she knows isn’t the real thing. He tells her to always have it by her side and she can have a good life. Before she leaves, she tells Lilly she’s cured and then announces that she’s the final entrant in the Elimination Chamber.

Smackdown Breakdown.

Elimination Chamber rundown.

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Of note: Rollins made his way to the ring, then there was a break, then there was Smackdown Breakdown and the Chamber rundown, or over six and a half minutes ago. We then take ANOTHER break after Orton’s entrance and ring the bell about ten minutes after Rollins made it to the ring in the first place.

We finally get going with Orton taking him into the corner and hammering away, only to get dropped face first onto the top turnbuckle. The Stomp misses though and Orton clotheslines him to the floor. Even commentary knows what’s coming and they are absolutely right as Rollins is dropped onto the announcers’ table. Back in and Orton’s hanging DDT is countered with a backdrop to the floor, setting up Rollins’ knee off the apron.

A suicide dive sends Orton over the announcers’ table and we take a break. Back again with Orton hitting the top rope superplex for a double knockdown. Orton is fine enough to hit the powerslam for two but Rollins is back with a low superkick for two of his own. The Stomp misses and Orton backdrops the Pedigree attempt to the apron. Now the hanging DDT can connect and the RKO connects….as Alpha Academy runs down. Riddle cuts them off but the distraction is enough for Rollins to hit the Stomp for the pin at 15:17.

Rating: C+. It’s a good match between two people who have wrestled each other so many times that they could probably do this in their sleep. The match was mainly about advancing the Tag Team Title feud and I’ll take that over either of them getting a clean pin. Nothing we haven’t seen before, but they know how to do this very well.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was a fine example of what is wrong with Raw most of the time: it doesn’t feel like they have enough material to fill in a three hour show. I’m not sure how many rosters could ever do that on a full time basis, but it’s even harder when the roster has been gutted like this one. They didn’t exactly make me want to see Elimination Chamber, but the show was already set coming into this week. Even after Saturday though, they really need to find something to fill in the time around here, because all the stalling isn’t doing them any favors.

Results
Street Profits b. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode – Frog splash to Ziggler
Damian Priest b. AJ Styles – Rollup
Omos b. Shelton Benjamin/Cedric Alexander – Chokeslam to Alexander
Bianca Belair won a gauntlet match last eliminating Rhea Ripley
Alpha Academy b. Mysterio – Rollup with tights to Dominik
Seth Rollins b. Randy Orton – Stomp

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 7, 2022
Location: Ball Arena, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Jim Smith, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

We have less than two weeks to go before Elimination Chamber and a lot of the big matches are set. Since this is Raw, we have two Elimination Chamber matches set up, plus Becky Lynch vs. Lita, as Smackdown doesn’t seem all that important this month. Tonight is a special show since we are on SyFy due to the Winter Olympics, so we have NO COMMERCIALS in the first hour. I’m thrilled too. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open big with the final round of the Academic Challenge between RKBro and the Alpha Academy. This time around, it’s a Quiz Bowl competition and after looking at the spelling bee/scooter race being split, we’re ready to go. Chad Gable explains the rules: it’s one point per question and if you get it wrong, the other team gets to steal. One point per answer, first to give points wins.

Alpha Academy gets the history question (who was the first President with a college degree) right but Riddle evens it up in biology (how many hearts does an octopus have). They trade Greek Mythology (who flew too close to the sun) and Cartoons (which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle used nunchucks) and it’s tied at two. Otis knows that Texas is the biggest of the 48 continental states but Riddle doesn’t know whose father-in-law Justin Bieber is. Randy guesses Alec Baldwin (of the four Baldwin choices) and gets it wrong, only for Gable to steal the point (with Stephen Baldwin) and goes up 4-2.

Film And Literature doesn’t go so well as Gable thinks Romeo and Juliet has been made into more films than Hamlet. Riddle knows it though and it’s 4-3. Orton picks Sports and gets a question about the Denver Broncos, which the fans help him get right. With the score tied at 4-4, Gable insults the fans and gets the final category of Metric Conversions. Gable doesn’t know how many grams are in an ounce, but Orton gets it right for the win. Gable goes into a huge rant and keeps getting buzzed. Cue the Street Profits to say Alpha Academy owes RKBro a title shot, but Gable wants a match right now.

Alpha Academy vs. Street Profits

Non-title. Ford strikes away at Gable to start and everything breaks down early on. Gable kicks Ford out to the apron for a breather and it’s Otis coming in to slow it down a bit. The big splash crushes Ford and it’s off to the neck crank to make it worse. A running splash in the corner connects but Ford avoids a second to send Otis into the post.

The double tag brings in Dawkins to slug away at Gable. Dawkins hits a running splash in the corner and grabs a t-bone suplex for a bonus. Otis has to make a save so Ford hits a big running flip dive to take him down on the floor. That leaves Gable to pull Dawkins into the ankle lock and the counter gives Gable the pin at 5:37.

Rating: C+. Both teams looked good here and the counter into the clean pin was a nice way to go. Gable and Otis get some extra momentum on the way to whenever they have to defend their titles against RKBro. Good for a fast TV match though and I’ll take what I can get from something like that on Raw.

Video on Lita.

MVP brings out Bobby Lashley, complete with his own Paul Heyman style intro. Hometown boy Lashley gets the kind of reception that you would expect and MVP talks about how Lashley took the title from Brock Lesnar. Then Lesnar won the Royal Rumble and has earned another shot at Wrestlemania. Well done, but now he wants in the Elimination Chamber as well, which is pure fantasy.

Lesnar is in the match but taking the title from Lashley is pure fantasy. Lashley says THE CHAMP LIVES HERE before talking about how Lesnar disrespected him. Last week Lesnar came to the show and said he wanted to get into the chamber. What Lesnar doesn’t realize is that he’ll be locked inside with Lashley. After the Elimination Chamber, Lashley is going to Wrestlemania with his title. Pretty simple and to the point promo here.

We look at Alexa Bliss getting her (replica) Lily doll last week.

This week, Bliss seems to love the doll but hands it over to the therapist, leaving her in tears.

Damian Priest vs. AJ Styles

Non-title. Styles ducks some shots in the corner and chops away before getting dropped with a jumping elbow to the jaw. Priest is sent outside for a slingshot forearm but comes right back with a running clothesline inside. Styles slips out of a superplex and has to escape the Reckoning.

The Styles Clash is broken up as well so Styles hits a fireman’s carry backbreaker for two. A kick to the head staggers Styles though and a bulldog driver gets two. Another exchange of strikes to the head goes to Styles…but Priest falls on top of him for two anyway. That was a bit odd but Priest is fine enough to break up the Phenomenal Forearm. AJ is right back with the Phenomenal Forearm for the pin at 4:55.

Rating: B-. For those of you keeping track, that is Priest’s third straight singles loss and fifth out of six singles matches. I would really like to believe that WWE isn’t cooling off on him but that seems to be the situation at the moment. Other than that, we had a good match here with Styles getting a win before he moves on to a bigger match. I’m sure the only way to build him up was a win over the United States Champion too.

Smackdown Breakdown.

Seth Rollins mocks Kevin Owens for not making it into the Elimination Chamber but Owens thinks he might be lying. That’s a negative from Rollins, who laughs a lot.

It’s time for MizTV with Maryse here with Miz. They waste no time in bringing out the Mysterios as this week’s guests (with Miz and Maryse dancing during the entrance). Miz mocks Dominik for losing last week and puts his hand up to silence the crowd. Of course Miz didn’t cheat to win last week, unlike Edge and Beth Phoenix at the Royal Rumble.

Miz talks about how he used the Money in the Bank contract to become WWE Champion last year but the fans still think he is a cheater. Somehow though, Rey Mysterio is on the cover of WWE2K22 instead of the Miz. What does Rey have that Miz or Maryse doesn’t? Maryse thinks she was great at the Rumble and thinks Rey should call himself Rey Marysesterio. Dominik gets in Miz’s face and the rematch is on. Miz likes the guts, and thinks Dominik is Eddie Guerrero’s son.

Dominik Mysterio vs. Miz

Dominik starts fast by taking Miz down but Maryse breaks up the 619. That’s enough for an ejection, but Miz kicks Dominik in the face anyway. The referee gets rid of Maryse so Rey trips Miz, allowing Dominik to grab the pin at 1:40.

Post match Dominik does the Eddie Guerrero dance to celebrate.

Nikki Ash vs. Bianca Belair

Belair, whose hair is a bit more down this week, runs her over to start and does her dance. The delay lets Nikki tie Belair’s leg up in the ropes and put on a half crab. That’s broke up and Belair hits a fall away slam into some slams, albeit with some limping. Some rolling suplexes get two on Nikki but she’s back with a tornado DDT; Belair catches her with a kick in the corner though and it’s the KOD to finish Nikki at 3:57.

Rating: C. The selling was pretty good, though maybe Belair stopping to dance while selling the leg wasn’t the best look. Belair is great at the athleticism but she goes with that dance WAY too much. Other than that, Nikki’s crash continues, but at least she got in some offense here. She is just going to be cannon fodder in the chamber, but this could have been more of a squash.

The 24/7 chase continues, with Dana Brooke saying Reggie is such a sweet guy. She kisses him on the cheek, but says they’re really good friends. They hug, with Reggie teasing a regular kiss before the 24/7 goons chase them off.

Kevin Owens vs. Austin Theory

Theory goes intense to start and stomps him down in the corner, followed by a hard whip into another corner. Back up and Owens sends him into the corner, setting up a trip to the floor. A flip dive off the steps crushes Theory and we take a break. Back with Owens hitting a Cannonball to send Theory outside.

The frog splash off the apron crushes Theory for two back inside but they trade finisher escapes. Owens’ spinning superplex is broken up so he settles for a super Regal Roll. The Swanton only hits raised knees but Owens blocks a rolling something with a superkick. Owens Stuns him for the pin at 9:00.

Rating: C+. They were packing in a good bit of action here, which is partially due to Owens dropping some weight in recent months. He has been moving better as a result and the matches have improved as well. Theory losing again is likely to make Vince McMahon angry, which could make for another step forward. Given McMahon’s interactions, it would seem that Theory has a perfectly fine future and that’s nice to see.

Randy Orton gives Riddle a pep talk/advice for the Elimination Chamber but tells him to focus on Seth Rollins tonight. Riddle is grateful and even invites Orton to a celebratory toga party next week. Orton seems ready to shake his head.

Veer Mahaan is still coming.

Here is Lita for a chat. She was fired up to get to be in the Royal Rumble with some of the biggest stars today. Then she showed up on Raw to challenge Becky Lynch, because she has been wanting that match for a long time. Cue Lynch to say how much that means to her. She has wanted to be Lita for so long but now that she is the champ, there is need for Lita.

Lynch is the star around here and now Lita shows up around the most important time of the year asking for a title shot? Lita talks about how she was some punk rock kid who chased her dreams. The people made her a four time Women’s Champion, but Lynch says Lita can keep the people. The fight is on with Becky getting the better of things but making the mistake of going back. That means a Twist of Fate into the Litasault to leave Becky laying. Lita still isn’t a great talker, but they both got the point across here.

Kevin Owens comes up to Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville about taking Austin Theory’s place in the Elimination Chamber. That isn’t happening, because last week’s qualifying matches were final. Owens wants to go to Wrestlemania as WWE Champion and talks about how much Texas means to him. He basically begs but nothing is said.

Liv Morgan vs. Doudrop

Doudrop goes with the power to start so Morgan tries the eternally bad idea of trying a choke. Morgan gets driven into the corner though and we take a break. Back with Doudrop hitting the backsplash but Morgan manages to fight up. A series of strikes rock Doudrop and the springboard spinning Codebreaker gets two. Morgan’s hurricanrana is countered into an electric chair faceplant for a near fall, followed by the Vader Bomb to crush Morgan for the pin at 8:09.

Rating: C-. Call it a hunch, but the fact that Morgan is clearly on the downside of her big push made it clear that she was losing here. The fact that Doudrop has already lost her title shot doesn’t matter. Morgan’s time near the title is over and that is kind of a shame, as the fans seemed ready to go with her, but that doesn’t seem to be happening anytime soon.

We look at Alexa Bliss’ therapy earlier.

And now, more of Bliss’ therapy. She has been trying to control her anger but might have beaten up a woman (who looked like Lily) at the grocery store. The therapist thinks they have more work to do.

Seth Rollins has done everything but headline Wrestlemania as WWE Champion so he’ll have to win the title in the Elimination Chamber.

Seth Rollins vs. Riddle

Rollins throws him down to start but Riddle grabs an early armbar. With that broken up, Rollins takes it outside for a buckle bomb against the barricade and we take a break. Back with Riddle fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught with an Alberto top rope double stomp instead. Riddle blocks a clothesline with a kick to the head though and the forearms in the corner rock Rollins again. Riddle sends him outside for the apron kick to the chest and a springboard Floating Bro. Cue Kevin Owens to jump Riddle for the DQ at 7:49.

Rating: C. This was starting to get going before the ending, which was a good way to protect both of them. I’m not sure how much sense it makes to have either of the people in a World Title match so this could have been a lot worse. That being said, I think you can guess what is coming in the rest of the show.

Post match the beatdown is on until Randy Orton runs in for the save and let’s do that tag match thing.

RKBro vs. Kevin Owens/Seth Rollins

Joined in progress with Orton working on Rollins and taking him outside for a drop onto the announcers’ table. Back in and it’s off to Riddle but Owens comes in off a blind tag and takes over. The backsplash gets two on Riddle and Owens mocks Orton a bit for a bonus. Rollins adds a top rope ax handle and an elbow to the jaw cuts off the comeback bid.

A double stomp gives Owens two and there’s a heck of a chop in the corner. Rollins misses the big frog splash and Riddle’s jumping knee drops Owens. There’s the hot tag to Orton to start cleaning house but Rollins blocks the RKO. It’s back to Riddle, who gets caught with a rolling elbow to the face. Another one to the back of the head sets up the Stomp for the pin at 8:05.

Rating: C+. There are your #1 contenders, who managed to get a title shot and then lose a match in the span of about two and a half hours. I know the Tag Team Titles don’t mean anything but could they at least pretend like they matter? Rollins getting a win means more and his story is more important, though you would think they might have a better idea on how to do this.

Post match Orton hits Owens with an RKO to blow off some steam and end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The word “bleh” comes to mind with this one, as it felt like a bunch of filling in time before we get to the important stuff next Saturday. That makes for a really dull three hours, with the extra fifteen minutes without commercials in the first hour making it worse. There was good action here, but it was more 50/50 booking and people not getting much of anywhere. I want to see how Elimination Chamber goes but they aren’t making the build to it all that thrilling.

Results
Alpha Academy b. Street Profits – Rollup to Dawkins
AJ Styles b. Damian Priest – Phenomenal Forearm
Dominik Mysterio b. Miz – Rollup
Bianca Belair b. Nikki Ash – KOD
Kevin Owens b. Austin Theory – Stunner
Doudrop b. Liv Morgan -Vader Bomb
Riddle b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Kevin Owens interfered
Seth Rollins/Kevin Owens b. RKBro – Stomp to Riddle

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 31, 2022
Location: Heritage Bank Center, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves

The Royal Rumble has come and gone and that means we are officially on the Road To WrestleMania. As a result, it is time to start hammering in the pieces for the next elimination based match, as Elimination Chamber is in less than two weeks. Bobby Lashley is the new WWE Champion and that means he is going to need a challenger. Let’s get to it.

Here is the Royal Rumble if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Brock Lesnar losing the WWE Title to Bobby Lashley with the help of Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman. Worry not though as Lesnar won the Royal Rumble later in the night, because being screwed out of a title leaves you with absolutely no other options to get another title shot. The graphic even saying “1 hour and 22 minutes later” doesn’t help things.

Here is Adam Pearce in the ring to hype up the big things we will be seeing tonight. There is a road block on the Road To Wrestlemania though, which is called the Elimination Chamber. Bobby Lashley will be defending his WWE Title inside the Elimination Chamber….and here are MVP and Lashley to interrupt. MVP rants about Lashley being in the Chamber and Lashley says he is here to celebrate beating Lesnar. Lashley is a better wrestler, a better mixed martial artist and a better champion. Who’s the conqueror now? Who’s the beast now? Who’s the champion now?

Cue Brock Lesnar, in wrestling gear, to interrupt. He talks about how Lashley didn’t really beat him, but Lesnar isn’t mad at him. Instead, he is mad at Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman, but what matters is that he won the Royal Rumble. That isn’t a joke, because Lesnar is going to face Reigns at Wrestlemania. Lashley is involved too though, because it is going to be title for title.

Lesnar challenges Lashley for his rematch right now and Lashley is already taking the tie off. MVP says not so fast though, because Lesnar has to earn it. Lesnar calls Lashley a chickens*** and Lashley is a lot more serious. MVP begs him not to and Lashley bails, but Pearce puts Lesnar inside the Elimination Chamber for the title instead.

Nikki Ash vs. Rhea Ripley

Nikki goes right at her to start but gets caught in a delayed vertical suplex, with Rhea walking her around for a bonus. Nikki is sent outside but manages to tie her up in the ring skirt and fires off forearms as we take a break. Back with Nikki working on an armbar and hitting a tornado DDT for two. Ripley fights up with some clotheslines and nails a basement dropkick. Nikki is back with a failed fisherman’s neckbreaker attempt, setting up Riptide to give Ripley the pin at 8:04.

Rating: C-. That is all you needed it to be, as Ripley got the clean win. Now granted that probably means we will be seeing another three matches minimum, likely with Rhea winning over and over. That’s about all Ripley can do though, as it isn’t like she could be back in the title picture or anything insane like that.

We recap last week’s spelling bee, with Chad Gable losing, followed by a singles match, with Chad Gable losing.

Now it is time for Gable vs. Riddle in a scooter race, with Riddle dubbing his scooter Gustavo. After some complaining about last week’s spelling and an introduction of R-Truth as the official starter, they’re off, with the first to complete fifty laps around the arena and cross the finish line at ringside wins. More on this later.

We’re back to more of Alexa Bliss’ therapy, with Bliss insisting that she has had Lily since she was a kid. We get a montage of Bliss with Lily, with the therapist asking what would happen if she could see Lily again. The therapist brings out a replica (while making clear it isn’t the real thing) and she is very happy.

We look at Edge and Beth Phoenix beating Miz and Maryse at the Royal Rumble.

Miz vs. Dominik Mysterio

Rey Mysterio is here with Dominik. Miz gets serious by messing up Dominik’s hair but has to duck an early 619 attempt. That means a trip to the floor, where he shoves Rey down. Back in and Miz kicks Dominik in the face before falling down and claiming Rey tripped him. That’s enough to get Rey ejected and the Skull Crushing Finale finishes Dominik at 2:10.

Tamina jumps 24/7 Champion Dana Brooke but gets interrupted by the scooter race (now on lap 18/50).

The scooter race continues until Riddle runs into Omos. Riddle: “Omos, I’ve never noticed it before but you have beautiful eyes.” And he rides off.

It’s time for the Kevin Owens Show, with Owens talking about how excited he is for the Road to Wrestlemania. He is going to be in the Elimination Chamber after he beats Austin Theory, but for now, it is time for the man who should be Universal Champion: Seth Rollins! Cue a limping Rollins, who even agrees to sit down this week.

After a Cincinnati Bengals WHO DEY chant, we get a highlight package on Rollins beating Roman Reigns via DQ when Reigns kept choking him. Back in the arena, Owens says that was ridiculous but Rollins says he has a permanent piece of real estate in Reigns’ head. Whenever he goes back there, he will come back with the Universal Title. That’s Smackdown business though and we are on Monday Night Raw.

There are some spots available in the Elimination Chamber, but one of them is being taken up by….Seth Rollins! Owens’ isn’t happy that Rollins got in without having to qualify, but thinks Rollins could convince Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville to let them in. All he has to do is threaten to not wrestle unless Owens is in! Rollins: “Uhhhh……..” Cue Austin Theory to interrupt and it’s qualifying match time.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Kevin Owens vs. Austin Theory

Feeling out process to start with Owens using the power to take over. That earns him a rolling dropkick and some shots to the face in the corner before they head outside. Owens crushes him with the Cannonball against the barricade and Theory needs a breather. Theory manages to send him into the steps and we take a break.

Back with Owens hitting a DDT and heading up top but missing the Swanton. The ATL is countered so Theory hits a neckbreaker for two. Owens runs him over again and now the Swanton connects to give Owens two of his own. The spinning superplex gives Owens two more but Theory knocks him outside. Owens gets back in, but Theory kicks the ropes for a low blow. Back in and the ATL gives Theory the pin at 11:17.

Rating: B-. Theory continues to shine every chance he gets and getting a win over someone like Owens is only going to make his star brighter. There is a lot to him and I’m wondering just how far he can go. If nothing else, it is nice to see him getting a spot in a title match. Granted he won’t win, but that’s a good step.

Otis gives Chad Gable a drink for energy but it’s steak sauce. Gable: “SODIUM!” Otis drinks it as Gable panics away.

Angelo Dawkins vs. Dolph Ziggler

Hometown boy Dawkins (with Montez Ford) does the Icky Shuffle on the way to the ring to really make himself beloved. Ziggler takes him down to start and hammers away in the corner, setting up his own, albeit mocking, Icky Shuffle. Dawkins is back with a clothesline and the spinning splash in the corner. Ziggler’s superkick is blocked though and Dawkins hits the spinning butterfly suplex for the pin at 4:27.

Rating: C-. See how easy it is to give a hometown boy a win? They had a short match, the fans were happy with Dawkins winning, and Ziggler isn’t going to be hurt by a loss. This was all it needed to be and the fans got to smile. I don’t believe WWE is going to drop their trend of hurting hometown stars, but at least it was fine for one night.

Gable and Riddle are almost to the final lap.

WWE 2K22 ad.

Veer Mahaan is coming to Raw.

It’s time for the finals of the race. R-Truth is in the arena and picks the Bengals winning but Riddle knocks Gable down, leaving him with a banged up knee….but Otis runs Riddle over before he crosses the finish line. Gable gets up and wins without much trouble. Riddle protests, but Gable lists off all of his own accomplishments, none of which required cheating (Gable: “THANK YOU!”). Riddle can have his match, but against Otis. Hold on though as Adam Pearce has an announcement: this is now an Elimination Chamber qualifying match!

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Otis vs. Riddle

Otis takes him into the corner for a hard shot to the head to start, setting up the splash for a close two. The neck crank is on but Riddle fights up, only to get Judas Effected to the floor. Back in and Otis sends him flying off a shoulder and seems to do the old Razor Ramon pose for some reason.

Riddle fights out of another neck crank and forearms away, only to get knocked down by another clothesline. Otis puts on another neck crank so Riddle fights up even faster, this time for some running strikes in the corner. A ripcord knee puts Otis down on his knee and another puts him down. The Floating Bro hits Otis’ knee (as it missed badly) so it’s a Floating Bro to the standing Otis for the pin at 7:24.

Rating: C. Odd choice of a pose aside, this told a good story but in a boring way. Otis going for three neck cranks in a single match isn’t exactly exciting and that Floating Bro looked pretty bad. At least they got the ending right though, as Riddle or Randy Orton almost had to be in the Elimination Chamber. Again, Riddle won’t win, but it’s nice to see him get a chance.

Carmella vs. Bianca Belair

Carmella has to put her mask on before Belair can wrestle her down. The hair whip is loaded up so Carmella screams and slaps Belair in the face. Saxton: “That was stupid.” The chase is on until Carmella sends her into the corner and forearms away. Some elbows put Belair down again and we hit the chinlock. Belair fights up and gets knocked right back down into another chinlock. That’s broken up as well so it’s a forearm to set up the KOD to give Belair the pin at 5:32.

Rating: C-. Carmella was more aggressive here but it wasn’t much of a match. The mask gimmick continues to not add much and doesn’t seem to get over. The good thing is that Belair gets reheated a bit, though I have no idea where she is going with the title pictures pretty much set for the time being.

We look back at Alexa Bliss seeing the replacement Lily doll again.

Back in the office, Alexa Bliss is so happy to see Lily, who the therapist said he got from WWE Shop. Bliss holds the doll and smiles a lot. That’s it.

Chad Gable isn’t happy with Otis’ loss but has a good idea: the final part of the academic challenge will be a Quiz Bowl. Just like the Bengals losing their big game, RKBro will lose too.

We look at Ronda Rousey returning at the Royal Rumble.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Rey Mysterio vs. AJ Styles

They go with the grappling to start and neither can get anywhere. Styles hits a shoulder but Rey is back up with a running hurricanrana. That’s enough to send Styles outside but Rey’s sliding splash hits raised knees. Another hurricanrana takes Styles down again on the floor though and we take a break.

Back with Rey AJ countering a springboard moonsault but getting caught with a spinning DDT. A springboard spinning crossbody gives Rey two but AJ’s fireman’s carry backbreaker gets the same. The calf Crusher is broken up and Rey kicks him in the head for another near fall. Rey goes up but has to counter the super Styles Clash. The frog splash misses for Rey though and AJ scores with a Pele. That’s not enough for a cover though as Rey heads up for the top rope seated senton, only to have AJ roll through into the Styles Clash for the pin at 11:34.

Rating: B. I’m as shocked as you are that two of the best ever were able to have a good match when they were given the chance. Styles winning makes more sense and adds to the star power of the match, but it’s not like Rey is some slouch. This was a rather good main event and I could go for seeing a longer version on a bigger stage.

Here is Ronda Rousey for the big finale. She can’t decide if she should pick to face Charlotte or Rebecca at Wrestlemania. Rousey has unfinished business with both, but Rebecca is on her undercard. Then everyone will know the baddest big time b**** is her. Cue Becky Lynch, saying that she wants an answer too and that the women’s division has never been hotter. Lynch wants a decision so Rousey grabs the arm….and says the decision will come on Friday.

Rousey goes to leave so here is Lita to interrupt. Becky isn’t sure about this but talks about being a fan when she was a kid. She makes the mistake of asking why Lita is here though and the challenge for Elimination Chamber is thrown out. Becky says no, but Lita manages to goad her into it to end the show. Remember the multiple instances that seemed to point to Lita vs. Charlotte? WWE doesn’t seem to either.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was hit or miss and some of the promos didn’t work so well, but what mattered here was the effort. It felt like the people were trying and that made all the difference. Things like Miz vs. Dominik and Belair vs. Carmella weren’t great, but the scooter deal was inoffensive enough and they set up a lot of the Elimination Chamber. Either way, much better than the Rumble, if you consider that to be an accomplishment at this point.

Results
Rhea Ripley b. Nikki Ash – Riptide
Miz b. Dominik Mysterio – Skull Crushing Finale
Austin Theory b. Kevin Owens – ATL
Angelo Dawkins b. Dolph Ziggler – Double underhook spinning slam
Riddle b. Otis – Floating Bro
Bianca Belair b. Carmella – KOD
AJ Styles b. Rey Mysterio – Styles Clash

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 24, 2022
Location: Huntington Center, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and that could mean a few things. While the show is mostly set on the Raw side, there is always room to get in the final push towards Saturday and odds are that is what we are getting tonight. If nothing else, we have Miz celebrating Maryse’s birthday, which sounds shenanigansy. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We’re starting big this week with the official weigh-in between Bobby Lashley (with MVP) and Brock Lesnar (with Paul Heyman). Lesnar is looking rather casual in jeans and a cowboy hat, which Corey Graves doesn’t like. That earns him a threat, but Lashley goes first and weighs 273lbs. MVP says the match has been in the making for a long time but don’t worry, because Lashley will be gaining weight after the Rumble: the exact same weight as that title.

Lesnar goes next, and does at least take off his hat, allowing him to weigh in at 286lbs. Lashley says Lesnar isn’t taking this serious but Lesnar talks about how Sunday morning, the headlines will read about Lashley winning with the Hurt Lock. Heyman: “What?” Lesnar: “The new WWE Champion: Bobby Who!”

We look at Bianca Belair winning last year’s women’s Royal Rumble.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Bianca Belair vs. Queen Zelina

And yes, after making her entrance before the break and the preview for tonight’s show, we are supposed to believe that Belair has been dancing in the ring for about six minutes straight. Belair wrestles her down to start and hits a dropkick but Zelina kicks her into the corner. A gorilla press and some suplexes put Zelina down again but she’s back up to try a Code Red. That’s blocked with straight power though and the KOD finishes for Belair at 3:50.

Rating: C-. This was little more than a squash, with Belair running Zelina over the whole time. That’s how it should have been too, as Belair is going to be a favorite for the Rumble. Zelina has her crown and lame King Booker impression and that is about all she needs to be doing right now.

Kevin Owens does not like being accused of lying against Damian Priest last week so tonight, he’ll do as the shirt says and Keep On Fighting.

United States Title: Damian Priest vs. Kevin Owens

Priest is defending. Priest starts slugging away in the corner and punches his way out of trouble. The chokeslam is broken up so Owens bails to the floor, only to step away from the threat of a dive. Owens is sent into the barricade instead but still manages to knock Priest off the apron. The Swanton hits raised knees though and we take a break.

Back with Owens hitting a tornado DDT into a frog splash for two. The low superkick doesn’t get Owens much further though as Priest hits his own kick to the face for two of his own. Hold on though as Owens claims another injury but this time, Priest stomps away. The goldbricking lets Owens grab a rollup with tights for two but Priest blasts him with a clothesline. Priest unloads in the corner and the referee finally calls for the DQ at 9:36.

Rating: C+. Remember when Priest unloaded on Dolph Ziggler and got disqualified? Or when he unloaded on Shinsuke Nakamura and got disqualified? Or when WWE had one idea for how to present someone like Priest? I’m glad Priest is getting this much TV time, but can WWE please come up with something new other than this Ken Shamrock IN THE ZONE idea?

We look back at Nikki Ash beating up Rhea Ripley last week.

Rhea Ripley is ready to win the Royal Rumble.

Dana Brooke is ready to win the Royal Rumble.

Liv Morgan is ready to win the Royal Rumble.

Rhea Ripley/Dana Brooke/Liv Morgan vs. Nikki Ash/Carmella/Tamina

During the entrances, Sonya Deville yells at Damian Priest in the back. Doesn’t do anything about it, but she does threaten him. Also, Tamina, Nikki and Carmella are ready to win the Rumble. Tamina knocks Dana into the corner to start so it’s Rhea coming in with a bunch of clotheslines. The basement dropkick rocks Tamina again and everything breaks down. Carmella gets the tag and the Prism Trap finishes for Ripley at 2:21.

Post match Nikki gets in a cheap shot on Rhea and runs off.

We recap RKBro vs. Alpha Academy being set up for an Academic Challenge, because that’s what we watch Raw to see.

And now, a spelling bee between Alpha Academy and RKBro. Before we get started though, Chad Gable makes it clear that this is the first of three events over the next three weeks. He also insults Ohio’s intelligence and brags about his GPA (which he doesn’t spell). RKBro comes out, and we start with Otis spelling some kind of Swiss cheese.

Riddle thinks calibration is pronounced calibrotion and then doesn’t understand he has to spell it himself. Then he gets it right , meaning it’s time to celebrate. Gable brags about how easy his word will be and then misspells dissolution. Orton gets dumbbell to win and now it’s time for Orton vs. Gable. Randy even spells how he’ll win: R-K-O. This could have been worse, but having it go on for three weeks isn’t exactly appealing.

Randy Orton vs. Chad Gable

Feeling out process to start until Gable starts in on the arm. Orton can’t get very far away though as it’s an armdrag into an armbar to put him in trouble. The threat of an RKO sends Gable bailing to the floor but he’s back in to send Orton bailing as well. Orton is fine with going outside though as he drops Gable back first onto the announcers’ table. Otis offers a distraction though and Gables takes out Orton’s knee. The moonsault gets two on Orton and we take a break.

Back with Gable working on his leg some more but Orton fights up for the backbreaker. There’s the hanging DDT but Otis suplexes Riddle on the floor. Gable grabs a backslide for two, only to charge into the powerslam. The RKO is countered into the ankle lock, only to have Riddle jump Otis with the scooter. Orton sends gable into the corner and now the RKO can finish at 13:35.

Rating: B-. Scooter hijinks aside, this was a good match as Gable continues to feel like one of the bigger threats to break through to the next level. I have no reason to believe he ever will, but it feels like the chance is there. Orton pinning him isn’t a bad thing, but I’m not sure about having this Academic Challenge stuff go on for two more weeks.

Post match, Riddle picks next week’s competition: a scooter race!

Bad Bunny has a tour coming.

We recap last week’s therapy session, with Alexa Bliss still being obsessed with Lillie. Someone throws a headset down in the background.

We go to Alexa Bliss back in therapy. This time she is asked about how she met Lillie, sending her into a story about how she was six years old and some girls made fun of her. Then she met Lillie, who took care of them…somehow. They had fun all day and that’s the segment, as we go back to commentary with Bliss still babbling away.

Austin Theory tries to get Vince McMahon to give him a good Royal Rumble number but Vince wants him to focus on AJ Styles. Theory lists off Styles’ resume and goes to leave, but forgets his phone. Vince tells him to bring back a really good selfie.

Veer Mahaan is still coming to Raw.

AJ Styles vs. Austin Theory

Styles starts fast by shrugging Theory off and dropkicking him out to the floor. There’s the slingshot forearm to the floor and Theory is rocked early. Back in and Theory sends him face first into the corner, setting up the quickly broken chinlock. Some chops and kicks to the chest have Theory down and there’s the jumping knee drop.

Theory drops him throat first across the top rope and sends Styles chest first into the buckle. A big crash out to the floor has Styles in more trouble and we take a break. Back with Styles getting kicked in the head and being knocked down again. Styles is able to pop back up with the middle rope moonsault into the reverse DDT though and the comeback is on.

The Phenomenal Blitz sets up the sliding forearm for two on Theory. A belly to back suplex gets Theory out of trouble though and a running Blockbuster gives him two of his own. The Pele drops Theory again but Theory goes to the ropes to escape the Calf Crusher. Back up and Theory breaks up the Phenomenal Forearm but gets caught with his feet on the ropes. Styles is fine enough to get back to the ropes and now the Phenomenal Forearm finishes Theory at 16:56.

Rating: B. These two worked very well together and putting Theory in the ring with someone like Styles is a good idea. I’m still not sure what is going on with the Vince/Theory stuff, but it seems that WWE sees something in Theory in the first place. Styles can be put into any spot on the show and thrive, which is a very useful asset to have.

Ad for WWE2K22.

We get a sitdown interview between Becky Lynch and Doudrop, with Becky talking about how confident she is and Doudrop not buying Becky being this good. Becky didn’t hear a thank you for putting Doudrop in the biggest match of her career. She brings up Doudrop attacking her last week to cost them a tag match, but Doudrop can’t hear anything because the whining makes her zone out. Doudrop gets up and marches into Becky’s studio to drive her into a wall. Referees break it up in a hurry.

We look back at Rey Mysterio tossing his son Dominik over the top last week in a Royal Rumble preview.

Rey is very pleased with being on the cover of WWE2K22. Dominik is ready to win the Royal Rumble, but Rey says that means throwing him out. Rey: “He’s just kidding.”

Street Profits vs. Mysterios

Dominik sends Dawkins outside to start and hits a dive, leaving Ford to backdrop Rey onto Dominik (for a nearly scary crash) on the floor. Ford hits a big running dive of his own and we take a break. Back with Dawkins dropping Dominik with a right hand for two but the hot tag brings in Rey to pick up the pace. Ford launches Rey into the air for the big crash, setting up the rolling splash for two. Dominik breaks it up but the double 619 is cut off by Dawkins. Rey victory rolls Ford for the pin at 7:51.

Rating: C+. The flips and dives were good here with both teams getting the chance to show what they can do in the air. Rey is likely to get a big push going forward towards the video game launch, but it isn’t like losing to a former World Champion is going to kill the Profits’ momentum. You know, assuming they had any.

Post match Dominik tries to dump Rey but gets tossed out for his efforts. The Profits throw them out but get dumped by Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode. The Profits and the Mysterios get back in to clear the ring but don’t trust each other.

Smackdown Rebound.

Seth Rollins knows he has Roman Reigns’ number and he’ll prove it at the Royal Rumble. For this week though, he’ll be at Smackdown too.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Here is Miz for Maryse’s big birthday celebration. There are all kinds of gifts and paintings around, so here is Maryse to open everything. Miz opens the first present, which is a portrait of the two of them as a prince and princess, which has to be looked at from the side as the straight on shot leaves it with a glare that makes it impossible to see. The second gift: what looks like a bedazzled jewelry box.

Now she wants the big gift, which Miz doesn’t recognize. Miz thinks there is something going on here and tells security to open the gift. It’s…..a brick on a stand. Miz laughs a lot and we see Maryse hitting Beth Phoenix in the back of the head with the loaded purse last week. With that out of the way, it’s time for Miz to sing Happy Birthday but Edge and Beth Phoenix interrupt.

Edge threatens violence and they run through security without much trouble. The presents are wrecked and more security is beaten up, including with a Hart Attack and a 3D for some fun. Miz and Maryse panic as another guard is powerbombed through the cake to end the show. This was pretty by the book but Miz and Maryse are great at this kind of thing.

Overall Rating: C+. There were some rocky points on this show but the mostly good wrestling carried everything else. The World Title match didn’t get a lot of attention here, but ultimately that match is going to sell itself. This show was more about the Royal Rumble matches and those are the ones that have not gotten a ton of attention. Oh and there was a spelling bee.

Results
Bianca Belair b. Queen Zelina – KOD
Kevin Owens b. Damian Priest via DQ when Priest attacked in the corner
Rhea Ripley/Dana Brooke/Liv Morgan b. Tamina/Carmella/Nikki Ash – Prism Trap to Carmella
Randy Orton b. Chad Gable – RKO
AJ Styles b. Austin Theory – Phenomenal Forearm
Mysterios b. Street Profits – Victory roll to Ford

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 10, 2022
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We are less than three weeks away from the Royal Rumble and the show is starting to come together. It seems that we have a pair of World Title matches and a good number of names set for both Royal Rumble matches. There are still some things that need to be done though and some of that should be taken care of tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Brock Lesnar becoming WWE Champion at Day One and Bobby Lashley becoming #1 contender last week.

Here are Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman, with Bobby Lashley and MVP watching backstage. The Hurt Business comes up to Lashley and are glad to have the team back together. Lashley says not so fast because he works alone, with MVP nodding in agreement. Back in the arena, Heyman does the intro and Lesnar is happy to be here.

Cue Lashley and MVP to interrupt and the staredowns are on. MVP handles Lashley’s intro so Lashley can talk to Lesnar face to face. Lashley says Lesnar has been ducking him for twenty years, with Lesnar saying it is an honor for him (as in Lesnar) to be in the ring with him (as in Lesnar). Brock talks about winning titles all over the world in different rings, so it’s Lashley’s fault that they never met each other.

Lesnar asks how many threads MVP’s suit is, with Lesnar saying he is funny and money. He calls Heyman over and says…..knock knock. Heyman: “Brock Lesnar is doing a knock knock joke in Philadelphia. I thought I had seen it all. Who’s there?” Bobby. Heyman: “Bobby who?” EXACTLY! Lesnar calls Lashley a Brock Lesnar wannabe and walks away. Cue Shelton Benjamin and Cedric Alexander to jump Lashley but he leaves them laying in a hurry.

Riddle is trying to get ready for their Tag Team Title match but Randy Orton tells him to be serious. Orton writes TAG IN RANDY on Riddle’s hands and starts heading to the ring. Hold on though, as Riddle needs to know if Orton is a Pat’s or Geno’s guy. Orton picks Geno’s (cheesesteak place) and we’re ready to go.

Tag Team Titles: RKBro vs. Alpha Academy

RKBro is defending. Riddle tries to wrestle with Gable and gets taken down in a hurry. An armbar doesn’t work so well for Riddle as Gable is right in the ropes before it can get anywhere. Riddle knocks Gable outside and hits a big springboard Floating Bro to take him out as we take a break.

Back with Gable hitting a dragon screw legwhip on Riddle and handing it off to Otis. The Floating Bro gets Riddle out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Orton to clean house. Gable gets crotched on top and the top rope superplex brings him right back down. Otis makes a blind tag though and the World’s Strongest Slam to Orton gives Otis the pin and the titles at 9:24.

Rating: C+. This was an interesting story as they were telling the story of Orton being the big savior for the team but he took the fall anyway. I’m curious about where this is going for RKBro, as the team didn’t need the titles anymore, but I’m not sure what they are doing without them. I don’t want them to split, but what else is there for them to do in WWE logic?

Damian Priest is in the Royal Rumble.

Priest and the Street Profits are ready for a six man tonight but they’re also ready to go after each other in the Rumble. For now though, they want the smoke.

Bianca Belair is ready to get the next shot at Becky Lynch.

Street Profits/Damian Priest vs. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode/Apollo Crews

Ford jumps over Crews to start so it’s off to Ziggler, who gets hit in the face. Priest comes in and cleans house, with the villains being knocked outside without much trouble. We take a break and come back with Crews gorilla pressing Ford. Ziggler’s chinlock doesn’t last long as Ford fights up and brings in Dawkins to clean house. Everything breaks down and Ford hits a big flip dive to the floor. That leaves Ziggler to Zig Zag Dawkins for the pin at 9:24.

Rating: C. I’m rather glad that we’re in for the annual Ziggler semipush, which continues to happen for reasons I do not quite understand. I can’t imagine it goes anywhere in the Royal Rumble, but it’s not like he and Roode are winning the Tag Team Titles anytime soon. Fine enough six man, but it came and went with Ziggler winning, so not much to get behind here.

Smackdown Rebound.

We recap the opening segment.

Here is a dancing Seth Rollins for a chat. Rollins is happy to see Bobby Lashley and Brock Lesnar hit each other a lot because he’ll be ready to take the Universal Title from Roman Reigns. Cue Big E. to interrupt and make a reference to the Philadelphia Flyers’ mascot, which Rollins doesn’t get. Big E. gets to the point and enters the Royal Rumble so he can win the title back at Wrestlemania. Rollins laughs it off so Big E. thinks they should face off tonight. Actually let’s just do it right now. Rollins wants a referee out here and the bell rings.

Big E. vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins starts fast with a dropkick but gets caught in a powerslam. Big E. gets knocked outside for a dive though and the fight heads to the floor. That’s fine with Big E., who hits the apron splash and we take a break. Back with Rollins slipping out of a powerslam attempt and taking Big E. down into a chinlock. That’s broken up and Big E. hits the Rock Bottom out of the corner but Rollins headbutts his way out of a belly to belly.

Big E. sends him to the apron and hits the spear to the floor as we take a break. Back with Big E. fighting up and snapping off the belly to belly suplexes. The Warrior splash connects but Rollins escapes another Rock Bottom out of the corner. Rollins hits a frog splash for two but Big E. powerbombs him down.

A Stretch Muffler goes on, sending Rollins straight to the ropes. Big E. plants him again for two more but another spear through the ropes hits knee. That means Rollins can go up, where he has to escape a super Big Ending. Big E. can’t hit a regular version either so Rollins has to miss a Pedigree attempt as well. Some forearms put Big E. down and there’s the Stomp for the pin at 17:56.

Rating: B. This got into a groove of the big fight feel as these two beat on each other rather well. It’s a good win for Rollins, but Big E. continues to fall rather quickly. I don’t think he’s getting back to the title picture anytime soon, and unfortunately that is not the biggest surprise. He had his run, WWE decided that the bad results were his fault, and here we are again. At least they built Rollins up well for Reigns, which should be good.

We look at the big announcement of most of the women’s Royal Rumble field.

Here are Rhea Ripley and Nikki ASH for a chat. Nikki seems to be ok with last week’s loss but Ripley doesn’t want to talk about it. That’s not cool with Nikki, because they are going to talk about it right now. Nikki doesn’t want to split up the team but Ripley thinks it’s time to go their own ways. They can get the titles back, but Ripley says it’s not about that. Nikki: “You think you’re so much better than me?”

That’s not what Ripley said but Nikki meant that she’s the better one. It’s great to know where Rhea’s head is, which is enough to make her leave. Ripley turns back to face her and the team seems to be done, but we do get a hug. Then Nikki turns on her and the beatdown is on, with Nikki saying superheroes don’t need friends. I’m glad WWE FINALLY seems to be giving up on this stupid gimmick, but forgive me for not being emotional about a split between a team that got together less than five months ago.

Reggie has cheesteaks for himself and Dana Brooke, but he thinks someone is going after the 24/7 Title. Cue R-Truth with a trashcan containing Akira Tozawa, so Brooke and Reggie throw their food at….Tamina, who freaks out and turns over the trashcan. Excuse me for one second.

THIS STUFF IS FREAKING STUPID AND NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE 24/7 TITLE!!!

Anyway, Reggie and Brooke run off, with Reggie running into Omos. Dana says let him down, which Omos actually does, albeit with a threat to Reggie. Oh and for a bonus: today happens to be Tamina’s birthday. Thank goodness they came up with LET’S THROW FOOD AT HER.

Doudrop, now with a lot of makeup, wants the Raw Women’s Title.

Omos vs. Nick Sanders

Chokeslam and fireman’s carry drop connect, as Dana Brooke and Reggie watch in the back. The chokebomb finishes at 1:33.

We recap the opening segment, including Bobby Lashley wrecking the former Hurt Business.

Here is Edge for the Cutting Edge. We get straight to the point as he has what he describes as the most gorgeous and curvaceous guest he has ever had: the owner of thighs that could crack a coconut, Beth Phoenix. They’re ready to do some damage to Miz and Maryse at the Royal Rumble because Beth would fit in with the Broad Street Bullies (Philadelphia Flyers reference).

They have more titles between themselves than any other couple in WWE history, including Miz and Maryse. We see a video on Beth Phoenix’s career, including various wrestlers talking about her career and accomplishments. Edge gives her the floor and says if Edge was trying to butter her up for later, flattery will get you everywhere. Beth: “Down boy, down boy.” Beth is ready to destroy Miz and Maryse, who are just annoying.

Cue Miz and Maryse to insult Philadelphia and be ready to take car of Beth and Edge at the Royal Rumble. Edge mocks Miz for hiding behind Maryse to avoid the spear. Miz isn’t hearing it and has his own highlight video on Maryse. Back in the arena, Miz brags about what Maryse has done, but Miz and Beth respect the heck out of her. Edge: “But my wife can bench press a Buick.” Beth finds it funny that Maryse hasn’t been so eager to get involved now that Beth is back.

The time for apologies is long gone, and it is time to wreck Maryse for good, with the fans chanting au revoir. Miz laughs it off and tells Maryse to tell Beth what is going to happen at the Royal Rumble. Maryse walks off while Miz is hyping her up though, so Beth volunteers to beat Miz up at the Rumble instead. This feud isn’t that good as I’m not sure how much of a demand there was for Miz and Edge to fight in the first place, but there is even less for the mixed tag. I’m sure the match will be good, but it’s kind of hard to get interested.

Austin Theory is ready to beat AJ Styles to impress Vince McMahon.

We look at the Tag Team Title change.

AJ Styles vs. Austin Theory

Styles starts fast with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but Theory grabs a suplex for two. Back up and Styles dropkicks him to the floor but gets sent outside for his efforts. Theory’s dropkick looks even better and we take a break. Back with Styles slamming him down for two but having to check his tooth. Theory grabs a brainbuster onto the knee for two but Styles gets to the apron….where Grayson Waller jumps him for the DQ at 7:02.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go very far but at least we got the Grayson Waller portion of the match. Sarcasm aside, this is a wisely set up segment, as you don’t want Styles losing twice in a row and you don’t want Theory getting pinned. It also set up another rmatch while keeping people strong, which is about as good as you could have done here.

Post match the beatdown is on but Styles clears the ring.

We go backstage to look at the curtain into the arena….and nothing happens. There’s your production gaffe, but then we catch up with Waller heading through the curtain and saying AJ is getting taken over tomorrow night.

Liv Morgan is tired of getting so close to winning but coming up short. She’s never giving up though.

Alexa Bliss is in therapy but can’t be fixed until she is willing to open up. We get a flashback of her time as the female Fiend, which makes her feel thirsty. She pours the entire pitcher of water and then breaks a bunch of stuff in the office. See you next week doc. Bliss has been gone for four months and the best thing they can think of is “let’s do the same thing”. What a brilliant idea.

Becky Lynch (who had to stand in the arena while the Bliss segment aired) isn’t woried about any of her potential challengers but will sit in on commentary for the match anyway.

Doudrop vs. Liv Morgan vs. Bianca Belair

They all punch each other to start until Doudrop suplexes Belair down hard. The two of them head outside so Morgan flip dives onto them. Back in and Doudrop crushes Liv in the corner but Belair breaks it up. Doudrop crushes both of them with a basement crossbody before dropping Morgan onto belair for a double cover. The chinlock has Liv in trouble but she fights up and gets sent over the top for a crash into the steps.

We take a break and come back with Doudrop missing a charge into the corner and getting rolled up to give Morgan two. Morgan grabs the Rings of Saturn on Belair, who powers out after some hard pulling. Belair gets sent into the corner but Doudrop powerbombs Morgan hard. Belair breaks up the cover with a 450 before the one count and plants both of them down. The handspring moonsault hit both of them and the KOD gets….no count as Becky runs in for the save. Becky and Belair fight so Doudrop can hit a Banzai drop to pin Morgan at 14:42.

Rating: C-. This could have been a lot worse and the best thing is they gave us a surprise winner. The problem continues to be that none of these three feel like they are worthy of challenging Lynch. It didn’t help that Lynch wasn’t exactly sounding inspired on commentary, leaving us with a long but not that interesting match. At least Doudrop got the win and that gives us a fresh match for a change.

Post match Doudrop shoves Becky out to the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. There were two segments on this show that ruined an otherwise pretty good night. We had some good action and some story development as the Rumble gets closer, but then things had to fall apart. Between Reggie and Dana Brooke throw food at Tamina and Alexa Bliss is in therapy, I don’t remember getting this annoyed at Raw in a long time. It feels like it’s from another planet and is inserted into what is an otherwise good show. That crippled almost any interesting I had in the show and that tends to happen far too often on Raw. Overall it’s a good show, but the bad stuff on here is really bad.

Results
Alpha Academy b. RKBro – World’s Strongest Slam to Orton
Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode/Apollo Crews b. Street Profits/Damian Priest – Zig Zag to Dawkins
Seth Rollins b. Big E. – Stomp
Omos b. Nick Sanders – Chokebomb
AJ Styles b. Austin Theory via DQ when Grayson Waller interfered
Doudrop b. Bianca Belair and Liv Morgan – Banzai Drop to Morgan

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Extreme Rules 2021
Date: September 26, 2021
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee, Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the night they go extreme without remembering to go extreme. This year’s edition features six matches with one match having any kind of extreme stipulation. The fact that they have been hyping up the Draft and Crown Jewel at the same time doesn’t exactly make this show feel important. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Carmella vs. Liv Morgan

This was moved up from the main card and we hear about how Carmella’s face pays the bills. It separates her from people like Liv, who should be ashamed of herself. Carmella: “I’m hot and you’re not.” As the Spanish commentary is on in full, Morgan jumps her before the bell and the fight is on, unlike the Spanish commentary anymore. Carmella avoids a charge to the floor and kicks Morgan in the face for two. The Bronco Buster (McAfee: “I’m gonna bust your sternum with my a**!”) hits Morgan, allowing Carmella to shout that she is hot and Morgan isn’t.

We hit the chinlock and the Spanish commentary is back. Carmella gets two off a faceplant but Morgan is back up with a faceplant and a running knee in the corner. A double stomp in the corner gets two and it’s off to an exchange of rollups. Morgan is back up with a Codebreaker for two more but Carmella kicks her to the floor. This time Morgan kicks her face first into the announcers’ table, setting up Oblivion for the pin at 7:49.

Rating: D+. Well that certainly was a TV level match that they added to the pay per view. I’m glad to see Morgan get a win but when you go 1-1 against Carmella and Zelina Vega over the course of 24 hours, your career might already be in trouble. Morgan is stuck in the bottom of the division at the moment and until that changes, none of this matters.

The opening video talks about how Extreme rules in this kingdom and looks at the rest of the card. So the Kingdom is one match on the card?

New Day vs. Bobby Lashley/AJ Styles/Omos

Bonus match for the sake of getting THE WWE CHAMPION on the show. The commentary now sounds like the French version as WWE continues to find new ways to look lame. AJ takes Woods down into a very early Calf Crusher so it’s off to Kofi Kingston as commentary has finally gotten better. With that going nowhere, Big E. comes in instead and gets to face Lashley, who runs him over.

Back up and Big E. takes him into the corner for the Unicorn Stampede but everything breaks down for a big staredown on the floor. Back in and Lashley launches Kofi into the wrong corner so Omos can take over on him. A delayed suplex sets up a chinlock from AJ but Kofi fights his way out. That’s not enough for a hot tag though as Lashley takes out the rest of New Day, setting up a lifting Downward Spiral for two on Kofi.

Kingston spins out of the Dominator and slips out of the running powerslam, allowing the hot tag off to Woods. An enziguri sets up a tornado DDT for two on Lashley but Woods gets planted right back down. Back up and Woods shoves him off the top, setting up a missile dropkick. The double tag brings in Big E. to face AJ, with the latter getting suplexed over and over. AJ manages to get in a shot of his own for the near fall but the Midnight Hour gets two with Lashley making the save.

Lashley hits a quick spinning Dominator for two but Kofi is back up to knock Lashley outside. Big E. launches Kofi onto Omos, who chops him out of the air. Back in and Lashley runs Big E. over and loads up the spear but AJ tags himself in. Lashley tags himself back in as AJ misses the Phenomenal Forearm. A spear hits AJ by mistake and the Big Ending finishes Lashley at 18:15.

Rating: B+. They had me worried that Big E. was going to take the fall here but they did a nice job of letting him get the big win. Big E. can get his next opponent in the Draft so this was a good way to use him. I know New Day has been around for a long time but the fans still react to them and they can put on a good match like this one. Solid opener here with the fans still hot, so good choice to start things off well.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Street Profits

The Profits are challenging and McAfee makes fun of the commentary issues during their entrances. Montez Ford has taped ribs so Angelo Dawkins takes Jimmy into the corner to start. A dropkick staggers Jimmy and Dawkins runs him over, setting up a pair of dropkicks to put the champs on the floor. Back in and a kick to the ribs puts Ford in trouble and the Usos drop him ribs first onto the top. The tape is ripped off and a belly to back suplex has Ford in even worse shape.

We get in a tug of war with Ford reaching for the tag but he has to send Jey into the post instead. The hot tag brings in Dawkins to clean house, including the spinning splashes in the corner. The Usos send Dawkins to the floor but their dives are both blocked. The fans want tables but instead they get a superplex into the double arm twisting neckbreaker for two on Jimmy. The Doomsday Blockbuster gives Ford the same but it’s back to Jey for the running Umaga Attack in the corner.

Ford makes a blind tag though and it’s the Anointment into the Cash Out, which hits Jey’s knees for two. The ribs give out on another Doomsday Blockbuster attempt and Jey hits the Superfly Splash for a very close two on Dawkins. Everything breaks down again and Ford hits a huge dive onto everyone outside. Dawkins gets taken down though and it’s a kick to the ribs into the double Superfly Splash to retain at 13:45.

Rating: B. Another pretty awesome match here with the story of Ford’s ribs carrying things. They had me believing that the title change was taking place more than once here so they did a nice job of building the drama. The Profits are made men in the tag division at this point, though splitting them up to let Ford go on his own wouldn’t stun me. Either way, heck of a match here as the hot start continues.

Bobby Lashley wants his WWE Title back.

We recap Alexa Bliss vs. Charlotte. Bliss wants to play with Charlotte and got her a doll of her own. Charlotte doesn’t play with dolls, sending Bliss into a rant about how she has an identity, unlike Charlotte when she doesn’t have a title.

Raw Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Charlotte

Hometown girl Bliss is challenging and puts Lillie on the post. Charlotte takes it outside to start and then throws Bliss back inside for some face rams into the mat. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Bliss and it’s time to crank on both arms. An inverted Gory Stretch has Bliss in even more trouble but she winds up in an electric chair. That means a hurricanrana can send Charlotte face first into the corner and things slow down a bit.

They head outside again with Bliss being sent hard into the barricade, giving Charlotte two back inside. The moonsault misses so Charlotte hits a standing version for two (ala Andrade), followed by a missed Natural Selection. They fight over some pinfall reversals until Bliss gets powerbombed for two. Bliss is back up with a heck of a Code Red for two but Twisted Bliss missed.

The Figure Eight is countered into a small package for two, followed by a hard DDT for the same with Charlotte putting her foot on the rope. With nothing else working, Charlotte throws Lillie at Bliss and hits a big boot. Bliss gets sent shoulder…..close to the post, setting up Natural Selection to retain at 11:27.

Rating: C+. This was far better because they didn’t do a bunch of stupid stuff. It isn’t a complicated idea and they made it work here. They had an intense match and didn’t do anything dumb. Charlotte winning makes sense in Bliss’ hometown, because you don’t want anyone getting too popular around here. That’s just not how WWE does things.

Post match Charlotte rips up Lillie, sending Bliss into a rage. The beatdown is on but since it’s Charlotte, she beats Bliss up again and sends her over the announcers’ table to leave. Bliss snaps and rips the top off the commentary table before going back inside to pick up the pieces of Lillie. A lot of emotional distress ensues.

Paul Heyman is on the phone when Kayla Braxton puts the microphone in his face. Heyman gets off the phone, saying he’ll call back in two minutes. Braxton asks who he is talking to, sending Heyman into a rant about how he doesn’t need permission to talk to other people. Is she worried about him talking to other women? He’s the special counsel to Roman Reigns, so now he needs to leave with the Usos.

United States Title: Damian Priest vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Sheamus

Priest is defending. Sheamus blasts Hardy to the floor at the bell so Priest goes right after Sheamus in a hurry. Some rapid fire kicks into a clothesline sends Sheamus outside with Priest following. Sheamus sends Priest into the barricade but Hardy is back up. The brawl lets Priest get back inside for a big flip dive over the top onto both of them. Back in and Priest beats up both of them, including the Broken Arrow to Hardy.

They all head outside again with Priest getting posted, leaving Hardy to walk into the Irish Curse for two. A tilt-a-whirl powerslam plants Hardy again and Sheamus hits the ten forearms to Priest’s chest. Hardy gets back up to roll Sheamus up for two with Priest making the save. Hardy hits the Whisper in the Wind onto both of them but Sheamus blocks the slingshot dropkick with a kick to the chest.

There’s an Alabama Slam to Hardy as Sheamus has lost his mask. The Cloverleaf goes on so Hardy makes the rope, which doesn’t matter because there is no rope break (how EXTREME). Priest makes the save and gets caught with White Noise but Hardy Twist of Fates Sheamus to the floor. The Reckoning is countered though and Hardy hits the Twist of Fate on Priest. Sheamus breaks up the Swanton and goes up where, after mocking Hardy’s dance, he drops a top rope knee to crush Priest for two more.

Sheamus flips up top but gets chokeslammed down, only to have Hardy Swanton onto both of them for the save. Priest and Hardy slug it out with Priest breaking up the Twist of Fate. Priest’s springboard is kneed out of the air by Sheamus so Hardy can come in and grab a near fall. A sunset flip gets two on Sheamus, who is back up with the Brogue Kick to Hardy. Priest is back up as well though and it’s a rollup to Sheamus to retain at 12:20.

Rating: B-. Dang they’re on a roll with this show and that’s a great thing to see. This was all about drama and again they had me wondering with some of those rollups from Hardy. The fact that he can make you believe that a surprise title change is coming makes things that much more interesting. Good stuff here, with Priest getting another win over a former World Champion as a good thing.

Big E. says he isn’t scared of Bobby Lashley and the title match is starting tomorrow’s Raw at 8pm.

We look back at the Kickoff Show match.

We recap Bianca Belair challenging Becky Lynch for the Smackdown Women’s Title. Becky returned at Summerslam and won the title from Belair in a surprise in 26 seconds. Now it is time for their straight rematch, with Lynch not wanting to hear Belair’s excuses.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bianca Belair vs. Becky Lynch

Belair is challenging and Becky is mainly in white to change up the signature look. Becky offers an early handshake but they have to escape an exchange of finisher attempts, sending Lynch outside. Back in and Belair takes her down but has to slip out of a Disarm-Her attempt. Belair hits a splash for two and goes up, where she moonsaults back over Lynch. A dropkick puts Becky on the floor, where she has to yell at Cole for a bit.

Back in and Becky takes Belair down and shouts at the fans a lot. The running legdrop sets up an elbow, allowing Becky to yell at the fans even more. Becky tells the fans to shut their faces but also to cheer for the champ. So silent cheering? Or cheering from their elbows? Back up and Belair misses a charge in the corner, allowing Becky to hit the Bexploder for two. The kickout leaves Becky looking confused and we hit the camel clutch.

That’s countered into a suplex though and they’re both down. Belair gets back up and starts cleaning house but has to win a tug of war over her own hair. The spinebuster plants Lynch for two and there’s a fall away slam to make it even worse. The gorilla press is countered into a Disarm-Her but Belair is right next to the rope. They head outside with Belair loading up a double chickenwing, only to be sent into the steps.

Back in and Becky hits a top rope legdrop for two and the shocked kickout face returns. Another gorilla press is countered into a cross armbreaker but Belair flails around for the block. A chokebomb gives Belair two and it’s time for the exchange of rollups. Becky reverses into the Disarm-Her but has to pull Belair away from the ropes, allowing Belair to muscle her up for the KOD but Sasha Banks returns to jump Belair for the DQ at 17:30.

Rating: B. Dang it when did WWE remember how to be great? These two had a heck of a match going and the DQ actually makes sense for a change. You don’t want either of them losing and Banks returning is about as good of an idea as they had. Belair continues to look like a star and that’s what either women’s division has needed. Yes it’s more of the Horsewomen, but now someone new is coming in and that’s a great thing to see for a change.

Post match Banks beats Belair down and looks at Becky….before beating her down as well. The big brawl is on with Belair getting to leave, saying she’ll see the two of them on Friday. I’ll certainly take that over another Two Woman Power Trip.

We recap Finn Balor vs. Roman Reigns for the Universal Title. Reigns has been fighting off a bunch of people who want the title, including attacking Balor. This didn’t sit well with Balor, who has brought back the Demon for the big title match.

Universal Title: Roman Reigns vs. Finn Balor

Balor, as the Demon, is challenging and this is Extreme Rules. They extremely start with an extreme lockup and Reigns throws him down in an extreme manner. Balor starts kicking at the leg (McAfee: “He might be possessed but he has a brain!”) but Reigns is back up with a Samoan drop. It’s FINALLY time to get some weapons going, as Reigns grabs a kendo stick. Balor rolls outside though and rises up, this time with a bunch of kendo sticks tied together.

The bunch of sticks are enough to put Reigns down but he’s right back up to send Balor outside. That’s fine with Balor, who is back up to stomp away on Reigns. There’s the running kick to the face from the apron and it’s time for a table. Reigns isn’t having that though and puts it back under the ring, making him even more hated. Instead it’s time for a chair but Balor sends him into the steps. NOW it’s time to set up the table and the fans are rather pleased.

That takes too long though and Reigns hits a running boot to the face, sending Balor into the post. Reigns tosses him over the barricade and follows out to send Balor into the Kickoff Show area. Balor is tossed onto the Kickoff Show table but he kicks his way to freedom. A high crossbody off the table sends Reigns through the first table of the night for the big crash.

They head back to the ring, with Balor setting up another table. That takes too long though and it’s a release Rock Bottom to drive Balor through the table. Balor is back with the Pele Kick but the Superman Punch gives Reigns two. The spear is cut off with a kick to the face and Balor hits the Sling Blade….only to get speared down for two, with the kickout hitting Reigns low (to steal a counter). The Coup de Grace connects but the Usos pull Balor out at two.

It’s time for another table but Balor fights back and powerbombs Jey through the announcers’ table. One heck of a spear drives Balor through the announcers’ table and everyone is down, but the red lights start flashing and Balor pops up again. With the red light through the arena and Balor’s music playing, Balor unloads with a chair and dropkicks Reigns through the table. Back in and Balor goes up top….but the top rope breaks. Reigns hits the spear for the pin to retain at 19:40.

Rating: B. I’m not sure on this one, but what mattered here was giving you the belief that the title could change hands. The rope breaking was at least something unique and I’ll take that over the Usos coming in for the DQ or something like that. Balor was not going to win here and that’s all well and good, but they did have a fun match on the way there. I’m not sure how extreme a good chunk of it was, but at least the last few minutes worked well. It might not have been logical, though I’ll take what I can get around here.

Overall Rating: A. Yeah this was great and I don’t know what else there is to say. You had one great match after another and almost nothing was bad. The lack of extreme didn’t help, but that’s on the show’s name rather than anything else. I mean, it can only be so extreme when the main event ends with a rope break (dang I wish I could take credit for that one). Overall, this was an outstanding show and one of the best things WWE has done for a very long time. As usual, WWE is at its best when they have no expectations and there were a grand total of none coming into this one.

Results
New Day b. Bobby Lashley/AJ Styles/Omos – Big Ending to Lashley
Usos b. Street Profits – Double Superfly Splash to Ford
Charlotte b. Alexa Bliss – Natural Selection
Damian Priest b. Jeff Hardy and Sheamus – Rollup to Sheamus
Bianca Belair b. Becky Lynch via DQ when Sasha Banks interfered
Roman Reigns b. Finn Balor – Spear

 

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