205 Live – January 24, 2017: I Need to Stop Multi-Tasking
I really need to stop forgetting to post this show.
205 Live Date: January 24, 2017
Location: Huntington Center, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Austin Aries, Corey Graves
It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and 205 Live actually has a contribution to the card. This Sunday it’s Neville challenging Rich Swann for the Cruiserweight Title and tonight we’ll get to see Neville vs. Cedric Alexander in what has the potential to be a rather entertaining match. Let’s get to it.
We open with a clip of last night’s brawl between Neville and Swann.
Neville says last night was his fault because he made the mistake of underestimating Swann. Maybe he showed him a bit too much mercy but he won’t make that mistake again. He’s looking forward to beating Cedric up to prove that this is his show.
Opening sequence.
The announcers preview tonight’s main event.
TJ Perkins vs. Tony Nese
Nese takes him down to the mat with a waistlock to start but a hurricanrana gives TJ two. An Octopus Hold doesn’t get TJ very far so Nese elbows him in the jaw and grabs a chinlock. Back up and TJ’s guillotine is easily muscled over into a suplex as Nese keeps showing off a good balance of power and speed. A middle rope springboard moonsault gets two on Perkins and it’s time to crank on both of his arms.
Nese gets two more off a gutbuster as this match is showing more psychology than you would expect in a cruiserweight match. Graves even gets to point out that Nese is catching a breather while holding TJ in a bodyscissors. It’s like the guy knows what he’s talking about or something. Perkins comes back with a kick to the face and a middle rope hurricanrana before the Detonation Kick sends Tony outside. Back in and Tony hits a hard clothesline, only to get cradled for the pin at 8:45.
Rating: B-. Good stuff here and it’s amazing how much better Nese is when he doesn’t have Gulak there sucking all of the charisma out of the matches. Perkins could still be a player around the title division but I don’t know how much Nese is going to be able to do if Neville gets the title on Sunday.
Nese suplexes TJ into the corner post match to knock Perkins silly, followed by a running knee to the head. That sounds rematchish.
Akira Tozawa debuts next week.
Perkins is being helped out.
Sheamus talks about winning the 2012 Royal Rumble.
Brian Kendrick vs. Tripp Bradshaw
Before the match, Kendrick promises to crush Bradshaw’s dreams because the world is a cold and harsh place. Aries wants to know if Bradshaw is any relation to Justin Hawk (JBL’s first WWE gimmick) as Brian pounds him into the corner to start. Tripp’s neck is snapped across the top rope and a big boot makes things even worse. The Captain’s Hook is enough to make Bradshaw tap at 2:04.
Swann tells Alexander to wait for Neville to make a mistake but make sure to save a piece for the Rumble.
Cedric Alexander vs. Neville
Feeling out process to start with Neville grabbing a hiptoss and telling Cedric to get out of his ring. The fans get behind Neville as he slips out of a wristlock and cranks on an armbar. Back up and Cedric dropkicks him out to the floor for a breather. The fans chant for CM Punk out of general annoyance.
A HARD kick to the face puts Neville back outside as this is more offense than anyone has been able to score on him. Cedric takes his sweet time though and gets whipped hard into the barricade. Neville turns the pace way down and starts slowly hammering away, followed by a snap suplex and running forearm for two.
We hit the chinlock for a bit until Cedric fights back up and dropkicks Neville to the floor again. There’s a BIG flip dive which Mauro describes as ostentatious. Aries: “It must be great. It has my name in it!” Back in and the springboard clothesline is only good for two. Neville tries to speed things up again but runs into a Spanish Fly (flipping downward spiral).
The Lumbar Check is broken up though and it’s a deadlift German suplex for an even closer two on Cedric. Neville puts him on top for the superplex but gets reversed into a sunset bomb….which Neville flips out of because he can. The look on Cedric’s face is perfect so he comes back with an enziguri. Cue Noam Dar for a distraction and the Rings of Saturn makes Alexander tap at 13:25.
Rating: B+. Now that worked. The idea of Neville being better than anyone else around the show is a great story but what makes it even better is to have someone get this close and almost have Neville beaten to lose the match at the very last minute. I liked the match a lot better than I was expecting to and it’s one of the better 205 Live matches to date.
Post match Dar goes after Cedric but Neville wants to beat on Alexander alone. Rich Swann comes in for the save and it’s a big pull apart brawl (after several attempts) to end the show.
Overall Rating: A-. Awesome show here as they packed all this stuff into less than fifty minutes. I don’t know if it’s just following the NXT formula to the letter or what else they’re doing right but dang this was one heck of a show. They’re getting the idea down to near perfection and adding in some more talent like Tozawa is only going to make things better.
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Main Event Date: January 19, 2017
Location: Verizon Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Austin Aries, Byron Saxton
I’m getting to the point where these shows amuse me more than anything else. It’s getting fun to see what kind of a boring match they can throw out there week to week and manage to get even less interesting every time. Maybe we can get some more Darren Young highlights since this might as well be his show. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Alicia Fox vs. Dana Brooke
We get a long recap of Fox’s issues with Noam Dar and Cedric Alexander. Brooke immediately starts with the pushups (Byron: “Rocky would be proud.”) so Fox stretches on the top and poses a bit. A kick to the chest sends Brooke outside so Alicia calls her a chicken. Uh, right. Back in and Dana chokes in the corner before sending Fox into the barricade. It’s off to a bodyscissors for a bit before Fox gets in a tilt-a-whirl slam. Fox slingshots in and despite what looks like a missed spot, the ax kick ends Brooke at 3:42.
Rating: C-. I’m actually something of an Alicia Fox fan so I can always go for her winning a match, assuming there’s no screaming involved at the same time. Brooke has fallen off a cliff lately with the Charlotte partnership seemingly over. She really needs ring time though and the rest of it will come soon enough.
Jimmy Snuka tribute video.
From Raw:
Here’s Roman Reigns to some of the loudest booing I’ve ever heard outside of a major city. Reigns can’t complain about getting beaten down when he’s outnumbered in a fight. He knows he lost the US Title but now he’s off to get the Universal Title at the Royal Rumble. Just in case you needed more proof that the US Title meant nothing on Roman. This brings out Paul Heyman who is almost immediately cut off by the GOLDBERG chants. Heyman gives us a spoiler for the Rumble but here are Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho to interrupt.
Jericho loves the idea of the Royal Rumble because no matter who wins, they’ll both wind up at Wrestlemania with both titles. Owens seems to agree but here’s Seth Rollins to cut them off. That means more promises of winning before Braun Strowman comes and stares Reigns down.
Strowman doesn’t say a word before Lesnar himself comes out. Sami Zayn runs in through the crowd and cleans house, including a Helluva Kick to put Braun outside. Brock throws everyone else down and is left alone with Sami, meaning it’s another German suplex for Zayn. Lesnar tells Braun to bring it on but Strowman drops to the floor, leaving Reigns to Superman Punch Brock. That earns him an F5 and Lesnar stands tall.
And from Raw:
Here’s Charlotte to discuss the winning strategy that has kept her undefeated on pay per view. By that she means laughing at the idea of Bayley beating her at the Royal Rumble. We see some pictures of Bayley as a kid meeting people like John Cena, Ivory, Rob Van Dam and Bret Hart from years ago.
Charlotte even has some poetry from what looks like middle school while Charlotte was training and getting scholarship offers. We even get a video of Bayley reading her essay on wanting to be a professional wrestler. Charlotte cuts the video and reads it herself until Bayley runs out to chase her off. Bayley calls this unnecessary so Charlotte says she’s just like the average fan.
If Charlotte wants to bring up all these stories, Bayley has a story for her. She didn’t have a father who could just make a phone call and get her into WWE. What she did have is a father who would spend everything he had to get her a ticket to every show in San Jose because that was all she ever wanted to do. Bayley even has a new poem for Charlotte: Roses are red, violets are blue, at Royal Rumble, I will defeat you.
Darren Young vs. Epico
This show just doesn’t get sarcasm. Young takes him into a chinlock to start and they hit the mat before Darren gets two off a backslide. A rolling forearm puts Epico on the floor but Bob Backlund sends him back inside. Darren loads up the belly to back on the apron but Primo trips him up, sending Young arm first into the apron, causing a legitimate injury and the match is stopped at around 2:45.
Kurt Angle Hall of Fame video.
We look at the end of Monday’s main event and the post match brawl with Reigns being put through a table to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. This is a hard one to grade as the first match was watchable but the second was called off due to situations beyond the wrestlers’ control. Hopefully Young isn’t seriously hurt but that was a nasty looking crash. It was your normal Main Event with the clips reflecting Raw, which is losing some steam due to the long build towards the Rumble.
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205 Live – January 17, 2017: I Forfeit Forgetting This Show Again
205 Live Date: January 17, 2017
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Byron Saxton, Austin Aries
It’s a good sign that we’re already having a major gimmick match on the show but more importantly it’s something that fits the storyline. Well ok to be fair the really important thing is the fact that Jack Gallagher will be gracing us with his presence and moving on from Ariya Daivari. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long recap of Gallagher vs. Daivari, which has involved knee attacks and accusations of being a scoundrel. Tonight it’s an I Forfeit match because a gentleman would never “quit”. How uncouth.
Opening sequence.
The announcers chat about the upcoming title match and the I Forfeit match. It feels like they’re stalling.
Drew Gulak vs. Cedric Alexander
Alicia Fox follows Cedric out and he doesn’t seem happy about it. Fox freaks out when Cedric tells her to leave so here’s Noam Dar to calm her down. Alicia: “HE’S BEING MEAN!” She calls Cedric a rookie in her book and demands Dar do something about him. Dar isn’t sure so Fox calls herself hot chocolate.
For some reason that’s enough to make Dar go in and help Gulak stomp Alexander but he fights them both off. Cedric dives on Dar but Gulak chop blocks him as we’re still waiting on the opening bell (and for Fox to be quiet). Fox and Dar leave and Cedric can barely stand up on the bad knee.
As you might expect, Cedric says ring the bell and we’re off in a hurry. Drew goes right for the leg and Cedric’s dropkick attempt makes things even worse. A dragon screw legwhip shows that Gulak is smarter than the average boring cruiserweight. Cedric actually manages a hurricanrana out of the corner and Gulak is backdropped out to the floor. Back in and Gulak charges into an elbow, allowing Cedric to hit a split legged moonsault of all things for two. The leg is way too banged up for the Lumbar Check so Gulak takes out the good leg. A bridging belly to back suplex puts Cedric away at 5:47.
Rating: C. I liked this more than I expected to and it continues the Fox/Alexander story with Dar in there on the side to keep things interesting. Gulak really needs a gimmick of some sort as he’s just so boring in everything he does aside from some submission holds. Speaking of which, didn’t he have a wicked dragon sleeper? What happened to that?
Dar tells Fox that was for her so she slaps him very hard. Noam seems to like it.
We get a long and very well put together video on Swann vs. Neville, including a look at their mentor/mentee relationship in Japan. It’s nice to see that match treated as a big deal and since it’s not going to happen on Raw, the build works well here.
Mustafa Ali vs. Tony Nese
Before the match, Nese says he doesn’t need to worry about Ali because he’s not normal. There’s a rather forced handshake to start with Ali having to grab the hand. Ali works the arm to start before snapping off a hurricanrana. A quick bicep curl (Aries: “Nothing like flexing your twelve inch pythons.”) sets up a spinwheel kick but Nese crotches him on the top and gets two off a gutbuster.
We hit a bodyscissors to stay on Ali’s ribs, only to have him avoid a springboard Lionsault. A jumping neckbreaker gets two for Mustafa and a tornado DDT gets the same. Nese gets tired of playing nice though and German suplexes him into the corner. One heck of a running knee is enough for the pin on Ali at 6:00.
Rating: C. Nese being built up as a midcard heel is a good idea but I was starting to get into Ali with his “my race doesn’t define me” character. If Nese is built up like this going forward, he’s going to be fine against Swann if Rich keeps the title against Neville, though that would be one heck of a questionable decision.
Tajiri and Brian Kendrick have continued their feud on Twitter.
Akira Tozawa is coming.
Jack Gallagher vs. Ariya Daivari
I Forfeit match and Jack is coming to the ring with his trusty umbrella William. Gallagher takes him to the mat and starts a surfboard but switches up to a double stomp to crush the knees. It’s umbrella time but Daivari breaks it over his knee. A side slam sends Jack spine first into the apron but that’s not enough for the magic words.
Jack is driven back first into the barricade and Daivari DEMANDS the forfeit because no one cares about him. Back in and Daivari rips at Jack’s face but realizes that bending the bad back around the post is a bit better idea. Aries suggests ripping off the mustache. Not a bad idea actually but not exactly a gentlemanly action. With nothing else working, Daivari grabs his scarf and ties Jack’s wrists behind his back.
As you might expect, that’s not a problem for Gallagher as he headbutts Daivari in the chest and climbs over the scarf to escape. With Ariya down, Gallagher pulls out a second umbrella because any good gentleman has a spare handy. They head up to the stage with Gallagher being sent into the screen but he manages a catapult into the same screen. That’s not enough to make him give up either so they head back to ringside.
Gallagher actually goes over to commentary and recommends that Graves and company move. Daivari is launched over the table and a running dropkick against the barricade allows Jack to grab William #3. Gallagher offers Daivari a chance to forfeit before the real thrashing begins. Daivari says ok but gets in a shot to the throat. We hit the cobra clutch but Gallagher grabs William #3 to break out. A good shot with William sets up a crossface chickenwing with William tied in Ariya’s arms for the forfeit at 14:19.
Rating: B-. I know I say this every week but there’s a great story here if you replace Daivari with, I don’t know, a dead goldfish to upgrade the charisma and interest. He’s just a warm body out there doing heelish things while never once seeming intimidating. Give Gallagher a proper bully to work off and it’s a thousand times better. As it is, it’s just a solid performance from Gallagher who is playing way beneath his skill level here.
Overall Rating: C+. The show was fine but really nothing worth seeing. The big gimmick match at the end helped but the show was much more there than anything else. It says a lot when the champion being gone feels like a big deal and that’s what happened here. Swann and Neville make this show feel important and without them the show is just fine instead of really interesting TV.
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Survivor Series Count-Up – 2014: I Still Can’t Believe It
Survivor Series 2014 Date: November 23, 2014
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
Now this is going to be an interesting one as the whole show is built around one match and that one match’s big surprise. Last year they made no secret about the show being entirely built around one single match, which wound up making the way to make the whole thing work. That one match is Team Cena vs. Team Authority for Cena and company’s jobs vs. the Authority having power. The jobs were thrown in at the last minute to really hammer home who was going to win but that’s not always the worst thing. Let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: Fandango vs. Justin Gabriel
This is the NEW AND IMPROVED Fandango, meaning he has Rosa Mendes and now wears a white shirt. We’re ready to go after the dance sequence that kills even more time. They slowly punch each other to start with Gabriel, who has skeleton tights for no apparent reason (JBL: “The leftovers from Giant Gonzalez.”), getting knocked to the floor.
Back in and Justin breaks out of a chinlock and gets two off a springboard kick to the face. For someone who flies around as much as Gabriel, the fans are almost totally silent. A suplex slam (as in a suplex where Fandango never left his feet) takes Gabriel down and the guillotine legdrop is good enough to put Justin away at 3:10.
Rating: D-. You know how Fandango still hasn’t done anything since his “rebirth” here? After this match it really surprises me that he still has a job as this was so horribly boring. Naturally they did the same match again the next night on Raw because maybe they just didn’t get the point across here. Really boring match.
Pre-Show: Cesaro vs. Jack Swagger
The battle of the former Real Americans. On the way to the ring, Cesaro talks about the history of Swiss neutrality before picking Team Authority. He proclaims his allegiance in various languages (which is NOTHING that could ever be capitalized in around the world) until Swagger and Colter come in to pick Team Cena. Swagger gets a quick rollup for two to start, earning himself a gutwrench suplex.
The Patriot Lock has Cesaro in early trouble but he’s still able to throw Swagger down with a German suplex. More suplexes set up a chinlock. Back up and Swagger grabs a German of his own, followed by a chop block to stay on the leg. The Vader Bomb is blocked but Swagger grabs the Patriot Lock. That goes nowhere and more Germans are rolled, only to have Swagger counter into the Patriot Lock again for the submission at 5:23.
Rating: C-. They crammed a lot of suplexes into just five minutes. This also shows you how much better a match can be if you have interesting people in there. Swagger isn’t the best in the world but there’s at least a reason to care about him and more than one note to his character. I’ll take Cesaro being all serious and speaking different languages over HE’S A DANCER IN A WHITE SHIRT any day.
The opening video recaps the main event, which was set up on Vince’s whim. That’s the problem with so much of what the Authority does: whatever happens can be changed by either the two of them or Vince because they’re the ultimate powers. No matter how the story goes, someone with power can come in and change anything at the drop of a hat. Why hasn’t Vince come back and changed something else on a whim? Eh no real reason other than the plot hasn’t called for it. That’s really bad writing.
Here’s Vince to open things up with talking. Vince talks (see, I told you that’s what he was going to do) about how epic this is really going to be and brings out the Authority because we haven’t heard from them in the first five minutes. The sucking up begins immediately but Vince cuts them off to bring out Cena.
Vince recaps the main event as we’re just burning through pay per view time here. Cena asks if the Authority will leave on their own accord if they lose tonight. HHH says that Cena is going to have a bad holiday because four men’s responsibilities will be on his head after tonight. Those four men are going to be forgotten about because they’re the ones with everything to lose. Cena will keep his job because he’s such a big star, but he’ll have that on his head forever.
Stephanie suggests that someone on Team Cena will turn on him because they have to think of themselves. She says the Authority will still have their jobs at headquarters and run things from afar, but Vince says not so fast. They’ll still have desk jobs and be in charge of different departments but they’ll have no authority on screen.
One more thing: if the Authority does lose tonight, only Cena can bring them back. That’s the moment where they gave away the ending and everyone knew the Authority would be back by the end of the year at the latest. Stephanie goes into full STEPHANIE IS SHOUTING mode but Cena says the Authority will lose tonight.
So to recap the recap (which took us to fifteen minutes into the show): the Authority will still have jobs and huge salaries but they just don’t have to deal with the headaches of running the show. On top of that, Cena can bring them back because FOREVER means until Cena says otherwise. This is all stuff that could have been done on Raw but why not waste pay per view time on it. I know their line is “But it’s a free month on the Network!” That’s not an excuse to do something stupid like this as it’s a really bad way to get the show going when this could have been done in five minutes on any given TV show.
Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Los Matadores vs. Goldust/Stardust
Goldust and Stardust (villains here) are defending and Mizdow is one of the most popular guys on the roster because of how hard he’s been working with the stunt double character. Diego and Stardust start things off as Cole reads Stardust’s latest riddle. A quick rollup gets two on Stardust before it’s off to Miz who is stopped by OLE! Mizdow does his stunt double stuff on the floor as JBL talks about Papa Shango putting a curse on Mizdow years ago. This isn’t a rousing start to the commentary tonight.
Miz won’t tag out, again missing the point of having a stunt double. Jey comes in to chop Diego but Goldust tags himself in and chinlocks the Samoan. The fans continue to want Mizdow but Stardust waves them off and uppercuts Jey instead. This time it’s Miz tagging himself in but Fernando tags Jey and flips off the top and onto Miz.
It’s FINALLY off to Mizdow, only to have Goldust tag himself in ten seconds later to bring the crowd back to silence. Lawler brings up a great point: if Mizdow comes in and Miz is on the apron, shouldn’t Mizdow just stand there? Stardust comes in and stomps Fernando before cranking on both arms to slow things down a bit. Goldust stomps Fernando on the floor (brothers think alike) and we hit the chinlock. Things stay slow as we hear about Grumpy Cat appearing on Raw. I had been trying to forget that guys.
Stardust loads up what looks like a Tombstone but Fernando spins out into a tornado DDT (good one too) and it’s off to Jimmy. Now we pick things up a bit with the Usos cleaning house with Umaga attacks and superkicks (and a shaking camera, which has happened multiple times tonight). Goldust powerslams Jimmy down for two but the double Uso dive takes down a few people.
There’s the Falling Star from Stardust, giving us this brilliant exchange: Cole: “That’s the Falling Star!” “JBL: “I have no idea what that is!” Cole: “It’s the Falling Star!” JBL: “I know!” Torito gets thrown onto the pile and Diego does the same. Back in and a quadruple Tower of Doom takes down Los Matadores and the champs, allowing Mizdow to tag himself in and pin Goldust for the titles at 15:25.
Rating: C. This was a big longer than it needed to be but the payoff was exactly what it needed to be. There was no reason to wait any longer on giving Mizdow something and this opens the door for some new possibilities in the story. The match was fun but they could have cut out a few minutes to make it flow better. It’s fun enough though (annoying commentary aside) and a good way to open the show, after the long talking of course.
Miz takes both titles and Mizdow keeps posing.
Larry the Cable Guy is guest hosting Raw. As usual, WWE is about ten years behind the pop culture times.
Vince will be on the Steve Austin Show. Now that could be entertaining and it kind of was if I remember correctly.
Adam Rose and the Bunny do a toy commercial until Heath Slater and Titus O’Neil come in to set up a match for later. Fans: “NO! NO! NO!” Is it bad that I miss the Bunny and wanted to see more of him?
Team Paige vs. Team Team Fox
Paige, Cameron, Summer Rae, Layla
Alicia Fox, Natalya, Emma, Naomi
Natalya is accompanied by Tyson Kidd, who clearly doesn’t care in a great short run character. Paige and Natalya start things off on the mat and we hit the King’s Court reference which turns into a discussion of Lawler having a foursome. Paige is sent to the floor for a quick spank from Natalya (because of course) before it’s off to Layla vs. Emma, neither of whom are still on the main roster. Lawler: “Emma could trip over cordless phones.” That’s not very hard to do King.
It’s back to Paige for a headbutt and THIS IS MY HOUSE. How can she afford this many houses? Cameron comes in to break up a tag attempt and this could go badly. The fans want Mizdow again and good grief it’s the Daniel Bryan story all over again. You just had him for fifteen minutes when he won a title. Be happy with what you got and shut up already. Emma rolls over and tags Naomi for the big showdown that no one wanted to see. Naomi runs through Cameron and a bad looking wheelbarrow Stunner gets two.
Everything breaks down and Cameron does an awful bulldog, allowing Naomi to roll her up for the elimination at 6:12. Summer kicks Naomi down to take over, only to miss a splash. Fox comes in as the announcers ignore the match to talk about old Survivor Series teams. The heels bail so Fox tries to get a CHICKEN chant started. It’s off to Layla for her bouncy cross body but a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gives Alicia the elimination at 9:29.
Summer comes in and misses a charge, allowing Natalya to dropkick her down. It’s off to Paige who takes over, only to have Summer do Paige’s scream and get decked as a result. Emma comes in for the Dilemma, a forearm to Paige on the apron and the Emma Lock for the submission on Summer at 12:04. So Paige is all alone and starts with Emma, who quickly faceplants her down. Natalya eats a superkick so it’s off to Naomi for the Rear View and the headscissors DDT for the final pin at 14:16.
Rating: D-. Oh sweet goodness the Divas Revolution needed to happen soon. This match felt like it was going on forever with almost none of them looking like they should have been out there this long. Between “CHICKEN! CHICKEN!” and Layla’s face offense under the guise of a heel and Cameron being the disaster that only she can be, this was horrible with Paige and Natalya not being able to hold it together.
Kidd, who didn’t do a thing all match, celebrates more than anyone else in a great touch. That’s the highlight of the last fifteen minutes.
We recap the pre-show, which also included the return of Bad News Barrett. As usual, Cesaro gets left out. The best part: Renee Young with long hair. I had forgotten about that and it says a lot that she’s just as beautiful with her hair hacked off.
The panel talks for a bit.
We recap Bray Wyatt vs. Dean Ambrose, which started when Wyatt targeted Ambrose in October for whatever reason Bray picks his next target. There was something about Dean’s dad being in prison but it was never really explained. Ambrose said he didn’t care why Wyatt did it anyway so it didn’t really matter. Tonight is the first match.
Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt
They slug it out to start (shocking) before heading outside (even more shocking) where Dean takes over with some clotheslines. Back in and Bray runs Dean over before knocking a dive out of the air with a right hand. I can never get used to Bray’s blood red tattoos as they always fool me. We hit a seated full nelson on Dean (always nice to see them mix up the rest holds) before he fights up for a double cross body.
They go outside for the third time for a double clothesline and both guys are down again. Back in and Dean takes over before doing Bray’s lean upside down out of the corner in a nice touch. Dean ties him in the ropes and kisses Bray on the head before a dropkick and legdrop get two. Bray counters the Rebound Lariat into a release Rock Bottom for two as this match really hasn’t taken off yet.
The middle rope backsplash misses because it would have killed Dean and the top rope elbow gets two for Ambrose. Back up and Bray EXPLODES with a clothesline and he makes it even worse with another Rock Bottom onto the steps. That’s only good for two so Bray grabs a mic and says they could have ruled the world together. Dean has chosen his path though so Bray grabs a chair and drops to his knees like he did with Cena at Wrestlemania. Dean isn’t Cena though and he hits Bray with the chair for the DQ at 14:00.
Rating: C+. Much like the Cena match at Wrestlemania, this felt a lot more like it was designed to set up something else (which it was) instead of being a big showdown. Bray’s babbling gets to the point where you stop caring what he’s talking about and that doesn’t make for the most interesting matches. No matter how you look at it, the whole thing always feels like you’re waiting on the next big thing, which gets repetitive in a hurry. It’s still a fun brawl though and got going after the first few minutes.
Post match Dean lays Bray out and elbows him through a table. That’s not enough for him as he buries Bray under another table and a pile of chairs. That’s only T and C though so why not pull out a ladder? Dean climbs the ladder but is all like “this is the free month so you have to pay to see me dive off.” Referees won’t let him shove the ladder onto the pile either.
The Authority gives their team a long pep talk, including Stephanie crying at the thought of only having a huge salary and working in an office. This is one of the problems of having such a big main event: there’s so much time to fill which certainly couldn’t have been filled with another Survivor Series match. This talk eats up WAY too much time and is summed up as “we’re betting everything we have tonight so win or else.”
Adam Rose/The Bunny vs. Heath Slater/Titus O’Neil
Slater and the Bunny get things going but Rose tags himself in quickly. Heath gets him on the mat before it’s off to Titus for some forearms to the back. Rose dives over and makes the tag. Lawler: “Maybe we should explain why there’s a bunny in the ring.” Cole: “Well it’s actually a man in a bunny suit.” Good grief just start speaking gibberish to us since they clearly think we’re that stupid. The Bunny pins Slater off a middle rope dropkick.
The Rosebuds leave with the Bunny.
More commercials. Counting the opener, the pep talk and all these commercials, there’s probably been seventeen minutes wasted, or about the same amount of time spent on a quick Survivor Series match.
The injured Roman Reigns has a satellite interview where he talks about wanting to be here punching people. We’ll make it nineteen minutes of filler. Reigns will be back in a month.
Team Cena says they’re ready.
Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. AJ Lee
AJ is defending and Nikki has Brie as her unwilling assistant. After the big match intros and Brie gets on the apron for a distraction, followed by kissing AJ (and launching a thousand fanfics). The Rack Attack gives us a new champion at 38 seconds in the Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus finish. Allegedly this was the way the match was going the entire time and it wasn’t cut down, making me shake my head even more.
Of course the sisters are back together with an eventual explanation of “we’re sisters.”
Ambrose vs. Wyatt is announced for TLC in the namesake match.
We recap the main event. The Authority is all corrupt so Vince came in and said let’s put their power up against Team Cena. John put together a team of the few people who would fight with him so the Authority made them as miserable as they could. It’s a simple story but they’ve made this feel like a legitimately huge match.
Team Cena vs. Team Authority
John Cena, Big Show, Ryback, Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan
Seth Rollins, Kane, Rusev, Mark Henry, Luke Harper
Cena’s partners’ jobs vs. the Authority’s authority. Harper is Intercontinental Champion and Rusev is the undefeated US Champion. The eleven entrances eat up even more time but in a good way this time. They’ve done a really good job at making this feel like a big deal and it’s working well here. Henry and Show start but HHH has to get in one last pep talk, allowing Show to knock him out for the elimination at 50 seconds.
It’s Rollins in next but Show chops him down to the floor. Kane comes in but Show drags him into the corner for the tag off to Cena, who pounds on Kane even more. Now we get a showdown that the fans find bigger than it probably is with Rowan vs. Harper. This was during that short period where Rowan was a genius, which has been completely forgotten since. Rollins tags himself back in before anything can happen and is immediately caught in the wrong corner.
Ryback comes in to join in on the fun but Rollins tags out to Harper. That’s fine with Ryback as he grabs a vertical suplex, only to get punched in the face by Kane. The big bald is beaten down as well so we’ll try Rusev. A spinebuster ends the slugout but Shell Shock is broken up. Everything breaks down and it’s a Curb Stomp from Rollins and the jumping superkick from Rusev to eliminate Ryback and tie us up.
Show comes back in but Rusev escapes a quick chokeslam attempt and brings in Harper. A dropkick of all things puts Show down and it’s back to Kane for some stomping. Kane follows Harper’s suit with a (basement) dropkick, followed by the Gator Roll (he’s stopped using that) from Harper. Show throws Harper away too so it’s off to Ziggler, who Harper beat (through some shenanigans) to win the title.
The heels start taking over on Ziggler with Kane’s sidewalk slam getting two. A comeback is stopped by a boot to the face and it’s off to Rusev for some knees to the ribs. Ziggler tries to punch Rollins in the face but gets caught in a downward spiral into the corner. We hit the chinlock for a bit before the running DDT plants Rusev. Everything breaks down again and we hit the parade of finishers (always a favorite).
Rollins is thrown onto a pile but Rusev throws Ziggler onto that pile. It’s time to load up the announcers’ table but Rusev misses Ziggler and splashes through the table instead, leading to a countout at 21:02 to make it 4-3. Cole: “COUNTOUTS ARE A FACTOR! COUNTOUTS ARE A FACTOR! COME ON DOLPH! COME ON DOLPH! ZIGGLER’S IN! ZIGGLER’S IN! RUSEV IS OUT! RUSEV IS OUT!” Get the parrot a cracker and shut him up already.
Back in and the exhausted Ziggler tags Cena for a quick AA to Kane. Rollins makes the save with a Curb Stomp and everyone is down. A double tag brings in Harper and Rowan with Erick cleaning house. Kane’s chokeslam is broken up but the springboard knee from Rollins sets up Harper’s discus lariat to put Rowan out at 24:14. So it’s Show/Cena/Ziggler vs. Rollins/Kane/Harper and we get a big six man staredown….until Show KO’s Cena, turning heel again to fill his quota for the year. Rollins steals the pin to eliminate Cena at 25:11. Now THAT is a shock.
Show stares down at the Authority and then walks out at 26:30, leaving Ziggler down 3-1. Ziggler can barely stand after the long beating he took but it’s now the Shawn formula in 2005. The fans want Orton (who was put out by Rollins a few weeks ago but why have the hometown boy here to make the save when you can have him on a movie set instead? To make it worse, Stephanie chants “OH YEAH! OH YEAH! OH YEAH!” in what was supposed to be cheerleading.
Kane throws Ziggler into the barricade and Rollins drags him over to the corner for some tags to the eliminated partners. Kane’s superplex is broken up though and a quick superkick and Zig Zag make it 2-1 at 29:35. Harper is right in though and kicks Ziggler’s head off to send him outside, followed by a nice suicide shove. A great sounding superkick gets two on Ziggler and the sitout powerbomb amazingly only gets the same. Ziggler somehow grabs a rollup (and jeans) for a fast elimination at 31:35, leaving us one on one.
Dolph can barely stand but he still grabs a DDT for two. Rollins has way more gas though and hammers Ziggler down, only to miss a top rope knee. The Fameasser gets two out of nowhere as HHH and Stephanie are losing their minds on the outside. Noble and Mercury are dispatched and the Zig Zag connects but HHH pulls the referee out at two.
The J’s are dispatched again and Stephanie is knocked off the apron (onto HHH of course because Heaven forbid she not have a soft landing). Another Curb Stomp misses and there’s a second Zig Zag for two with HHH breaking up the pin one more time. HHH beats on Ziggler for a bit and hits a Pedigree…..and there’s a crow.
In one of the biggest surprises of all time, STING makes his WWE debut (with JBL listing off his resume to make sure you know this was planned in advance) and HHH is in shock. Sting decks HHH’s crooked referee and does the big staredown with HHH, setting up the Death Drop (sold really well too). Sting pulls Ziggler on top of Rollins (who hasn’t moved in over six minutes) for the final pin at 44:07.
Rating: A. I liked this even better knowing what was coming. They did a really good job of setting up the story here as both teams were in enough trouble at different points to keep it interesting with the Cena elimination being the biggest of them all. I was genuinely surprised when that happened and it holds up well enough as a moment today. The near falls near the end were great as well, making this a really great match. This should have been a total star making performance for Ziggler but since WWE is in charge, it was pretty much forgotten in about a month.
HHH looks like reality sets in while Stephanie shows her horrible acting skills one more time. For once I’m fine with the focus being on them but good grief that screeching is killing it. On top of that, everyone knew they would be back sooner than later and it didn’t even last a month.
Overall Rating: B-. This is the definition of a one match show and thankfully that one match delivered because the rest of this show was pretty horrible. Everything from the end of Ambrose vs. Wyatt to the start of the main event was a waste of time or boring, as was so often the case in WWE at this point. The main event bails the show out, but that’s the ONLY thing worth watching on here.
Ratings Comparison
Fandango vs. Justin Gabriel
Original: D
2015 Redo: D-
Cesaro vs. Jack Swagger
Original: C-
2015 Redo: C-
Usos vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Goldust/Stardust vs. Los Matadores
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Monday Night Raw – November 14, 2016: Nope. Send This Back.
Monday Night Raw Date: November 14, 2016
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
We’re ready for Survivor Series on Sunday and tonight is the last chance for the red show to pump things up. The big story here is Goldberg and Brock Lesnar being in the same ring before their showdown, which you may or may not find interesting. Finally we should get to hear about the big debate between Stephanie and Shane McMahon tonight….which is taking place on the Network after the show. Let’s get to it.
All of the Raw Survivor Series participants are on the stage as the bosses are in the ring. Stephanie plugs the debate after the show tonight and Foley says Sunday is about proving what’s better between the two shows. This leads to Foley doing Enzo Amore’s dance, much to Amore’s delight. Stephanie threatens to change Sunday’s lineup if some people don’t impress them tonight. That includes Cesaro/Sheamus vs. Kevin Owens/Roman Reigns, Chris Jericho/Seth Rollins/Braun Strowman vs. New Day and Charlotte/Sasha Banks vs. Alicia Fox/Nia Jax.
Roman Reigns/Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro/Sheamus
Naturally Reigns and Owens have to do entrances again after being on the stage before the break. Cesaro and Reigns get things going and Owens is looking bored on the apron. A dropkick sends Reigns into the corner and it’s time for an argument between the dysfunctional team over who gets to beat him up. Sheamus dives into an uppercut as I cringe at the thought of that being a World Title feud about a year ago. Owens finally gets involved, only to be taken down by a slingshot dive as we take a break.
Back with Owens clotheslining Cesaro in the corner to set up the Cannonball for two. The hot(ish) tag brings in Sheamus for the apron forearms but he loses a fight to Reigns on the floor. Apparently there was a tag in there somewhere as Reigns is allowed to come in and beat on Sheamus, including the Superman Punch for two. Owens tags himself back in and eats a Brogue Kick, only to have Reigns spear Sheamus to give Kevin the pin at 12:10.
Rating: D+. This is feeling like the leadup to Money in the Bank with the random matches that don’t go anywhere. This was a boring tag with the “regular” team losing clean and the makeshift team seemingly setting up something after Survivor Series. I really wasn’t feeling this one and the rest of the show doesn’t seem like it’s going to be much better.
Jericho tries to get Rollins and Strowman to calm down and work together later, ala Owens. He even has presents for both of them: scarves! Rollins declines and Strowman rips up Jericho’s scarf because he doesn’t like Chris.
Sami Zayn vs. Bo Dallas
This is over Dallas not being happy with Sami getting the Intercontinental Title shot. The standard arm work doesn’t last long so it’s Dallas being aggressive in the corner to take over. Sami comes right back and hits the exploder into the corner followed by the Helluva Kick for the pin at 2:30.
Brian Kendrick has a speech for the cruiserweights. He knows everyone is concerned about moving to Smackdown but there’s no way he’s going to lose because he’s the standard bearer of this division. Most of the division starts talking about how they could beat Kendrick and an argument breaks out. This really didn’t need to exist.
New Day comes out for their match and they’ve got a merchandise cart. They’ve been WWE Tag Team Champions for nearly 450 days because they know how to survive. With the holidays right around the corner, you need their gear to survive, with gear such as New Day Socks. You can stuff that sock with a unicorn horn or a certain brand of cereal.
New Day vs. Seth Rollins/Braun Strowman/Chris Jericho
Jericho and Kofi start things off and that’s not a bad thing. An elbow to the jaw puts Kofi on the mat and it’s quickly off to Woods vs. Rollins with the latter coming in off a chop to the chest. That goes nowhere either as they hit the mat for Seth’s headlock before it’s back to Jericho as New Day takes over. The Warrior splash gets two and Kofi comes back in, only to get slammed by Braun as we take a break.
Back with Braun holding Kofi in a nerve hold before handing it back to Rollins. Some double knees put Seth down but it’s Strowman running cross the ring to kick Big E. in the face. We wind up with Woods kicking Jericho in the back and Strowman plowing through the other two opponents. Woods finally kicks him in the face and forearms Rollins in the jaw. That’s enough for Braun though as it’s a powerslam to end Xavier at 14:06.
Rating: C. This picked up a lot near the end as Woods continues to be great at the last chance offense. Strowman is getting better at being a rampaging monster but he’s still in need of some more experience. I liked the match well enough though and New Day will be fine with a loss like this. That being said, it’s getting harder and harder to care about these one off matches between people with no animosity.
Paul Heyman interrupts the bosses and suggests that there won’t be a match if Lesnar isn’t happy. Mick orders more security.
Charlotte is in the back with Sasha for the weekly “women like to bicker with each other” segment. The big deal here is that Sasha has a title rematch down the line and they don’t like each other.
Brian Kendrick vs. Sin Cara
Non-title and Kendrick jumps him during the entrances. Cara says ring the bell so Brian beats him up in the corner as we hear about 205 Live, which really isn’t the best idea during this dull match. The chinlock evolves into the choking on the ropes but a backdrop puts Kendrick outside for a suicide dive. A second dive hits the barricade and we take a break. IN THIS MATCH.
Back with Kendrick choking even more because that’s what a heel cruiserweight does. Brian misses a charge in the corner and a top rope spinning splash gives Cara two. The crowd is just GONE here as Cara gets two off a sitout powerbomb. Kendrick goes for the mask and puts on the Captain’s Hook (looks terrible) for the tap out at 11:05.
Rating: D. Was this Cara’s punishment for the fight with Jericho? This was slow, boring and completely killed what little energy the crowd had left. As has been the case for months now, WWE has no idea what to do with a cruiserweight division. An eleven minute match is bad enough but having it be mostly spent on chinlocks and choking before finishing with a chinlock. This division really needs to go somewhere else and maybe its own show is the solution, but not without some major changes.
Enzo and Big Cass are in the back when Anderson and Gallows come up. They don’t trust each other in their eight man tag tonight.
It’s time for Lesnar and Goldberg as it’s nearly halftime of Monday Night Football. Lesnar slips a bit during his jump to the apron but it’s not bad. There’s a wall of security as Goldberg tells Lesnar to shut up and stay out of this. Heyman gets cut off by the GOLDBERG chants before finally going on about all the people Lesnar has killed. Goldberg cuts him off again to say his name isn’t on that list, only to have the chants start up again. Heyman starts to offer something but Lesnar grabs the mic and tells the fans to shut up.
The offer is for Heyman to find a replacement for Sunday’s match. That means Goldberg takes off his shirt so Lesnar shoves some guards down. Heyman says the beating will be so bad that Goldberg’s son will call Lesnar daddy. The security is quickly dispatched and there’s no one left between them. Lesnar, with one of the palest chests I’ve ever seen on a wrestler, walks away. This was WAY too long but they don’t have a choice because there’s nothing left for them to do on the show.
Sasha Banks/Charlotte vs. Nia Jax/Alicia Fox
Bayley is on commentary. Charlotte gets to face Nia to start and Sasha bails to the floor because they’re partners that don’t like each other. I didn’t know if they had made that clear in the two previous matches with the same stories. The champ can’t get anywhere with the monster and bails to the floor for an early break.
Back with Sasha rolling Alicia up for one and hitting the chinlock. Charlotte and Sasha finally break down and get in a fight, allowing Fox to bring Alicia back in. A big boot staggers Jax but another fight allows Alicia to come in with a high crossbody. Charlotte neutralizes Nia and the Bank Statement makes Fox tap at 7:45.
Rating: C-. Boring match (due to seeing the same story for the third time in just over two hours) but it makes sense to actually have them get in a fight for a change. I really don’t need to see Charlotte vs. Sasha again but I’m sure they’ll have one more gimmick match to really hammer home how important it is. Also, well done on having Alicia job here, which you can imagine them screwing up to try to swerve the audience.
Foley gives the Raw team another pep talk.
Enzo Amore/Big Cass/Anderson and Gallows vs. Shining Stars/Golden Truth
Cass throws Epico around to start and everything breaks down, leaving Golden Truth vs. Enzo and Cass. Uh, epic? We take a break just over a minute in and come back with a double Russian legsweep to Anderson. Karl pops right back up and grabs a chinlock on Truth as the fans are some combination of confused over who to cheer for and bored half to death. Primo tags himself in and gets to face Big Cass as everything breaks down. The Magic Killer plants Primo and Anderson tells to go up for the Bada Boom Shaka Lacka before just taking the pin himself at 9:03.
Rating: D. Yeah go back and look at one of the ratings for the same idea earlier on and substitute in the appropriate names. I don’t think there’s much that I can add to this one because there’s almost no story here. Anderson and Gallows don’t like the rest of the division and they’re mean to their partners. Next segment please.
Here are all four bosses for the really long closing segment. They bicker a lot, the fans chant for Smackdown, Stephanie gets in a funny line with “YOU GUYS ARE AT RAW!”, Bryan points out that Foley and Shane are known for jumping off of tall structures and they debate the cruiserweight division being on the line.
Stephanie brings out the Raw team but here’s the Smackdown team through the crowd. Owens and AJ get in an argument over whose title is more important with Owens saying it’s his because he holds it. AJ suggests that Owens might wind up on the list but Jericho gives him a hug to calm things down. That means AJ JUST MADE THE LIST (pop of the night). Oh and that stupid soccer mom haircut? IT JUST MADE THE LIST! Jericho still isn’t done as he sees James Ellsworth, who is a weird looking guy. “Do you know what happens to weird looking guys on Raw? YOU JUST MADE THE LIST!”
Bray grabs the mic and yells at Braun for abandoning him after being given the keys to the kingdom. This Sunday, Smackdown destroys the monster that Bray created. A staredown ensues but Seth grabs the mic, only to start the brawl. Everyone goes after Braun with Shane getting to knock him outside. Orton gets back in but it’s Reigns cleaning house and getting booed out of the building. A DoubleBomb sends AJ onto Team Smackdown to end the show. This got really good once the bosses shut up but it’s way too late to save this dog of a show.
Overall Rating: D. The wrestling was acceptable (albeit boring) but the problem here was the lack of effort. This three plus hour show had two main ideas: wacky tag team partners who don’t get along and Goldberg vs. Lesnar. The latter of those ideas took fifteen minutes and the other idea took up the rest of the show. Save for a WAY too long cruiserweight match (Yeah I know, I criticize the cruiserweights. Get over it.) and a nothing Sami vs. Dallas match, that’s all this show was. For three hours. Two ideas.
I can tolerate a show focused on one thing or a show that is trying to accomplish a goal but this was WAY over the top. You can’t showcase someone on the team against people not on the pay per view roster? Or do ANYTHING other than the same idea for most of the show? I checked out on this show as soon as I realized they didn’t have anything tonight and that’s not something that should ever happen. The quality wasn’t the worst here and the ending segment did it a lot of favors but the lack of effort destroys it.
Results
Kevin Owens/Roman Reigns b. Cesaro/Sheamus – Spear to Sheamus
Sami Zayn b. Bo Dallas – Helluva Kick
Braun Strowman/Seth Rollins/Chris Jericho b. New Day – Powerslam to Woods
Brian Kendrick b. Sin Cara – Captain’s Hook
Charlotte/Sasha Banks b. Alicia Fox/Nia Jax – Bank Statement to Fox
Enzo Amore/Big Cass/Anderson and Gallows b. Shining Stars/Golden Truth – Magic Killer to Primo
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Monday Night Raw – November 7, 2016: It’s Not Good Enough
Monday Night Raw Date: November 7, 2016
Location: SSE Hydro, Glasgow, Scotland
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
It’s a rare taped show this week as they’re on the annual November European trip. We’re also less than two weeks away from Survivor Series and that means we’ll be getting some more names added so some of the matches. The main Raw team is eighty percent set and it’s fairly clear that Seth Rollins is going to complete the team. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week with Mick Foley setting up most of Team Raw along with Rollins saving Roman Reigns from a beatdown.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Stephanie McMahon to a chorus of boos. She talks about how big the battle between Monday Night Raw and Smackdown Live is going to be before introducing the four competitors for the main Survivor Series match. Kevin Owens, Chris Jericho, Roman Reigns and Braun Strowman will be joined by…..Seth Rollins in not that much of a surprise. Owens doesn’t care for Rollins being on the team but Stephanie cuts him off to go through Smackdown’s team. Raw better fight like their jobs are on the line because they are.
Stephanie leaves and Owens and Jericho talk about how they’ve taken over the show in recent weeks. Kevin thinks they need winners on the team, unlike the Shield who died because the members were all horrible human beings. The brawl is on with Braun standing behind until he cleans house. Strowman and Reigns have a staredown but here’s Stephanie again to make a five way match for later tonight.
Rich Swann/Sin Cara vs. Brian Kendrick/Noam Dar
Dar is a Scottish wrestler and gets a huge ovation in his debut. Swann and Dar start things off as we hear that Dar also uses a kneebar submission. That would be another name on the list of people who use a style that goes against the idea of what made cruiserweights popular in the first place. The villains (Is Dar a villain? If so they’re not presenting him as one.) are sent to the floor for a dive from Cara, who is sent into the barricade as we take a break.
Back with Cara in a chinlock before it’s off to Dar for a neck crank. A faceplant gets Cara out of trouble and it’s off to Swann for no reaction. Everything breaks down and Cara’s slingshot Swanton Bomb crushes Dar. A rolling cradle gives Swann the pin on Kendrick at 7:23.
Rating: D+. The match was fun but it’s another case of WHAT ARE THEY THINKING. Dar is brought in to a huge pop and then they put him with the heel champion for reasons that still aren’t clear. Oh and then let’s have the champion get pinned AGAIN despite no indication that Swann is getting a title shot anytime soon. But they’re cruiserweights and they’re exclusive to Raw….for another three weeks until they get their own show.
Post match Kendrick yells at Dar and punches him out. Dar comes back and kicks Kendrick out of the ring to make sure you know Kendrick is worthless.
Video on Goldberg’s career and his return to WWE a few weeks back. Brock has told Goldberg’s family to not watch the match and that’s not cool with Goldberg.
Stephanie is in her office to say she can’t be on Smackdown this week but Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan are welcome to show up next week. Sami Zayn comes in because Stephanie invited him here to say he drives her crazy. Foley wants Sami to answer Dolph Ziggler’s Intercontinental Title open challenge but Sami is going to have to win a match to earn that spot. Let me get this straight: STEPHANIE is telling someone to tone it down? Is she kidding?
Here are Enzo Amore and Big Cass for a chat. Cass thinks Smackdown’s team is going to be proven SAWFT. Anderson and Gallows, Golden Truth, Sheamus and Cesaro all join them and, after a break, Sheamus has something to say. After saying what a great Celtic country Ireland is, it turns into a four way insult exchange. New Day FINALLY shows up and they’re in Braveheart gear. Woods has Francesca’s Irish cousin: Agnes the bagpipes.
Xavier goes on a long speech about fighting for pride and Big E. finally does the William Wallace speech. Goldust: “You have such a brave heart.” Cesaro says he and Sheamus are in but Sheamus says no because he’s the captain. Sheamus: “On behalf of this team, we’re in.” Anderson and Gallows say they’re going to stab New Day in the back the first chance they get. Woods is upset that Gallows throws his sword down but as luck would have it, a match has been signed for tonight. This was WAY too long and didn’t really even establish anything new.
New Day vs. Anderson and Gallows
Non-title and joined in progress. Kofi and Big E. take turns stomping on Anderson until Gallows comes in for a running knee to Big E.’s jaw. Now it’s the bald guys stomping and a reverse 3D gets two. It’s chinlock time before Big E. finally fights up and makes the hot tag to Kofi. The Boom Drop sets up a crossbody for two but Gallows breaks up the Midnight Hour. A quick Magic Killer puts Big E. away at 6:45.
Rating: D+. We waited almost an hour for the second match and the best we can get is the Tag Team Champions losing clean in less than seven minutes to a team they’ve already beaten multiple times? This show has been a disaster so far and this was the latest bad moment in a series of them.
R-Truth suggests that he and Goldust take a break for a bit. Therefore, their spot on the team has been traded for a time share in Puerto Rico. They look through the brochure and Goldust realizes it’s not as great as it seems.
Video on Brock Lesnar being all dominant and only having one blemish on his record. He can fix that at Survivor Series.
Owens and Jericho go to Braun’s dressing room to try and get him on their side. Strowman didn’t answer their knock so Jericho loads up the List but Kevin talks him down. Braun says he’s on his own team so Jericho puts him on the List.
Emmalina video.
Survivor Series Qualifying Match: Shining Stars vs. Golden Truth
Truth hiptosses Epico to start and drops a dancing leg. Primo comes in to take over with some choking, followed by a double dropkick for two. A few kicks puts Primo down and the hot (work with me here) tag brings in Goldust to beat up the cousins. Goldust gets in a spinebuster on Epico but Primo grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes for the pin at 5:18.
Rating: D-. So now we have one jobber team instead of the other on the Survivor Series team. This show has been HORRIBLE so far and this is the latest match that is just killing any energy the crowd might have been able to have. Like really, who cares which of these teams is going to the pay per view so American Alpha can suplex them in half?
Time for big talking segment #3 with Michael Cole EXPLAINING SURVIVOR SERIES before bringing out Charlotte, the captain of the women’s team. After a quick speech about how Raw is going to win, here’s Nia Jax, who Charlotte cuts off to talk about how Bayley is the weak link. Nia doesn’t want to listen to Charlotte so here’s Alicia Fox, who talks about the name of the game being survival.
Next up is Bayley, who keeps getting cut off by the fans singing songs. Charlotte tries to introduce the last woman but the Bayley songs cut her off again. After a lot of praise, here’s Dana Brooke but Sasha Banks comes out before much else can be said. Sasha thinks they can’t win without her and bickering ensues until Charlotte hides behind Nia, which doesn’t really go along with Nia’s reaction to Charlotte about five minutes earlier.
Nia Jax/Charlotte/Dana Brooke vs. Bayley/Alicia Fox/Sasha Banks
Stephanie made this during the break and thankfully Cole just tells us this instead of needing to see it happening. That’s all I ask. Bayley and Nia start things off with the small one being run off, meaning Alicia tries her luck. A triple baseball slide has almost no effect on Nia and it’s Banks having to avoid a charge in the corner but Nia runs her over.
Back from a break with Sasha being put in a variety of chinlocks. A rollup finally gets two on Charlotte and the kickout sends Sasha into the corner for the tag to Bayley. The series of elbows has Charlotte in trouble and everything breaks down. Nia runs everyone over and throws Alicia into the wrong corner by the head. Charlotte accidentally kicks Nia in the head though and it’s a Bayley to Belly for the pin on the champ at 11:45.
Rating: C. So is Sasha on the team or is it Dana? I’m assuming Banks but it’s really not clear. Either way, this was by far and away the best thing on the show so far but that’s not really saying much. Bayley pinning Charlotte finally sets us up with a new challenger as they’re getting close to running Charlotte vs. Sasha into the ground.
Seth implies he gets a future World Title match in exchange for being on the team. Cue Strowman to say he never liked Rollins and might break him in half tonight.
Rusev vs. Sami Zayn
The winner gets the shot at Ziggler at Survivor Series. Rusev takes him into the corner to start but gets dropkicked out to the floor for a breather. Back with Rusev in control via a chinlock as you might expect. Sami tries to fight up but gets knocked right back down by the power game. For some reason Rusev tries to go up but eats the Helluva Kick from the top to give Sami the pin at 8:40.
Rating: D+. Not much to see here but Sami getting the title shot is a nice surprise. That’s going to be the fun wrestling match at the show and if Sami just happens to get his first title on the WWE roster, so be it. Rusev losing again here isn’t a good sign for him though and he needs to turn it around soon.
Braun Strowman vs. Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho
Stephanie: “Now you all are going into the biggest match of your lives and it’s so important for Raw to win. NOW GO OUT THERE AND BEAT THE HECK OUT OF EACH OTHER FOR MY AMUSEMENT!!!” Non-title, nothing on the line and Reigns comes out last. Rollins, Owens and Jericho go outside so we get Reigns staring at Strowman for a long time. Strowman is knocked to the floor where Rollins beats on him with a kendo stick. Now it’s a table but Strowman makes a quick save to take us to a break.
Back with Strowman giving Reigns the reverse chokeslam and kicking Jericho out of the air. Owens tries to talk his way out of trouble before punching Strowman in the face, earning himself a clothesline. Everyone goes after Strowman and an enziguri from Rollins into the Superman Punch is finally enough to send him outside. The Sling Blade drops Owens and it’s time for the Shield showdown.
That goes nowhere as Strowman has to be dealt with again, only to have the Canadians break up the TripleBomb through the table. Strowman is put on the table and it’s Jericho being powerbombed through Braun through the table. Back in and Rollins kicks Owens in the head for two, followed by the Pedigree for the same with Jericho making the save. That earns Chris a Pedigree but Owens makes a save. Reigns Superman Punches Owens…..right into the pin on Jericho at 14:58.
Rating: C+. This was fine, although I’m really not sure what this changes. The World Champion winning a match has become a big surprise because he loses way too often anymore. At least the right guy won and this isn’t being used to set up the new challenge. I’m still not sure why Stephanie would want to make that match but who am I to question her?
Overall Rating: D. The last hour was a big help to keep this from being one of the worst shows of all time. Those first two hours were nothing short of a disaster though as there was nothing interesting and it was clear that WWE wasn’t putting in the slightest bit of effort. I have little patience when WWE just presents a show and expects us to care because it’s called Monday Night Raw.
At some point you have to put in the effort to make a show work and that’s not what we got here. I don’t care about cruiserweight tags and the Shining Stars vs. Golden Truth, no matter how much WWE hypes them up. Really bad show, but it could have been so much worse without the women and Sami’s match.
Results
Rich Swann/Sin Cara b. Brian Kendrick/Noam Dar – Rolling cradle to Kendrick
Anderson and Gallows b. New Day – Magic Killer to Big E.
Shining Stars b. Golden Truth – Rollup with feet on the ropes
Bayley/Sasha Banks/Alicia Fox b. Charlotte/Nia Jax/Dana Brooke – Bayley to Belly to Charlotte
Sami Zayn b. Rusev – Helluva Kick
Kevin Owens b. Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins, Chris Jericho and Braun Strowman – Owens fell on Jericho
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Superstars – November 4, 2016: Some Familiar Faces
Superstars Date: November 4, 2016
Location: XL Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
The more I do this show and Main Event, the more I’m starting to like them. They’re such simple shows and I can burn through them so quickly, which is a really nice change of pace. After the hours and hours I have to spend on the big shows, it’s cool to be in and out in less than an hour like this. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Alicia Fox vs. Dana Brooke
Speaking of good things, so be it if I’m just forced to watch two of the better looking women in the company. Also in a nice bit of continuity, Graves says he’s been wearing his Halloween costume for four days in a refreshing attempt to make it seem like this is a stand alone show that was taped on its own.
Dana talks trash and gets kicked in the face to start, only to run Alicia over with…..I have no idea what that was actually but that’s pretty common with Brooke. We hit a weak chinlock on Fox for a good while until she gets two off a sunset flip out of the corner. The scissors kick, which was more like Fox sitting on Brooke’s back, is enough for the pin at 5:15.
Rating: D+. These two aren’t exactly the smoothest workers in the world but they’re both good options to put over the better talent in the division. Fox has a ton of charisma and that’s one of the best things you can have in wrestling. Brooke has potential but was called up WAY too soon and it shows badly. That’s not her fault mind you but she really needed more seasoning before being called up. She had only debuted about a year and a half in NXT before being put on the main roster and unless you’re Charlotte, that’s not long enough.
Off to Raw for the first time.
We open with Goldberg, who gets the full walking entrance. Before he can say much though, Paul Heyman interrupts. Heyman knows he isn’t a physical threat to Goldberg but he’s willing to get inside the ring. There’s no way he would get into this ring without significant backup because Brock wants to fight tonight.
Goldberg is more than happy with this and takes off the jacket (that man just has the look that suggests he could fight anybody) as Lesnar’s music starts up. Of course that’s not happening tonight but Heyman realizes this could go badly for him. Cue Rusev of all people to praise Goldberg before challenging him to a fight. A few knees to the ribs and a Jackhammer later, Rusev is down. A weak spear takes Heyman down as well and Goldberg gets to pose.
Video on Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks from Sunday.
Back to Raw again.
Here’s Charlotte for her address as champion. She calls the fans peasants and promises to lead the women’s team to victory against Team Smackdown and its captain Nikki Bella. Charlotte is ready to take on all of the Smackdown women but thinks there’s a weak link on her team and her name is Bayley.
Cue Bayley, who says she’s glad Charlotte called her out here. Seeing last night’s main event choked her up and she wants to congratulate Charlotte on her win. Unfortunately she’s also become the biggest jerk and the kind of champion Bayley never wants to be. Charlotte says this isn’t NXT anymore and she sees a glorified fan looking back at her. Therefore, tonight Bayley has a match with one of her teammates.
Bayley vs. Nia Jax
Charlotte is on commentary. Nia starts fast with a shoulder breaker and throws Bayley around a bit before grabbing a bearhug. Bayley reverses into the guillotine but Nia is a learning monster and drives her into the buckle for the break. Some kicks to the legs and a few dropkicks stagger Jax, only to have the standing Vader splash crush Bayley. Instead of the legdrop, Nia goes to the middle rope, only to have to fight out of a super Bayley to Belly. Bayley comes up holding her knee and a ram into the barricade makes it even worse. The knee seems to be fine as Nia hits the Samoan drop for the pin at 5:52.
Rating: C-. This was just a step ahead of a squash and another example of how Raw looks completely dominant against Smackdown, assuming the power of being FEARLESS overcomes Nia. Seriously would that surprise you at this point? Anyway, not bad here and a good sign that Nia keeps dominating like this.
Curtis Axel vs. Jinder Mahal
I can always go for some Curtis Axel and the face version is even better. We get an AXELMANIA chant to start things off and Curtis doesn’t let his fans down with some right hands. Mahal knees him down (makes sense with legs that long) and we take a break. Back with Axel fighting out of a chinlock but getting suplexed right back down. We hit the third chinlock because Mahal doesn’t seem to have much of an offense. Axel easily fights up, hits his usual stuff, and finishes with the PerfectPlex at 10:15.
Rating: D+. The good is because of Axel and the bad is because of Mahal. I’m running out of ways to call Jinder boring but that’s the best word to describe him. He’s fine for a very low level heel like this, assuming you can come up with a reason to not like him in the first place. The whole peace thing goes nowhere but as long as he’s here and not on Raw, he’s mostly harmless.
Stills of Rollins vs. Owens from Sunday.
Back to Raw one more time.
Here’s Foley to talk about last night’s show with a focus on the Universal Title match. Everything that Owens and Jericho did last night was legal but it all left a bad taste in Foley’s mouth. Jericho and Owens come out to brag about getting into the Cell last night and walking out with the title.
That win means they should be anchoring the Survivor Series team because they’re the top two guys on Raw. They laugh at Foley and bring up him losing the Cell match against HHH right here in Hartford, Connecticut. Foley gets in Owens’ face to yell about how much talent he has but Jericho keeps interfering. Jericho was standing there with a key around his finger and that’s what people are going to see on the WWE Network in eighteen years. Jericho: “Lock it in man.”
That’s enough for Foley, who says Stephanie only wanted Owens for Raw. However, Foley is going to put them both on the team along with another guy he can trust. That wouldn’t be just any guy, but rather THE guy. Reigns comes out and praises Foley’s pumpkin shirt while saying Owens and Jericho look like Spongebob and Patrick.
Roman was going to dress up like a stupid idiot but the store was out of Jericho costumes. Jericho teases putting someone on the List but NO ONE GOES ON THE LIST TONIGHT. Chris doesn’t like anyone here in the United States but he would still be a better US Champion than Reigns. That sounds good to Foley so the title match is made.
And from later in the show.
US Title: Chris Jericho vs. Roman Reigns
Reigns is defending and we get some Big Match Intros. Feeling out process to start until Jericho gets in a shot off the middle rope. They head outside with Owens throwing the weakened champ into the post as we take a break. Back with Jericho in control until he misses a charge in the corner.
Roman hits his string of clotheslines but the Superman Punch misses. The Lionsault hits knees so Jericho opts for the Walls in the middle of the ring. Roman powers out of that (duh) and grabs a sitout powerbomb for two more. Owens’ distraction doesn’t work and now the Superman Punch connects. The spear looks to finish but Owens comes in for the DQ at 14:50.
Rating: C. This was fine, though the ending wasn’t exactly a secret. You knew they weren’t going to change the title the night after Reigns successfully defended inside the Cell but at least Jericho gave him a good match. Owens being out there telegraphed the ending but we didn’t get a clean ending and that’s the right call.
Post match the beatdown is on until Seth Rollins comes out for the save. Rollins and Reigns share a staredown so maybe they’ll get back together for Survivor Series.
Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t the best show in the world but as always it’s a lot easier to sit through than three hours and fifteen minutes of the regular red show. The stuff from Raw was better but that’s almost always going to be the case when you compare it to the people who are stuck down on Superstars. Still though, entertaining show and another easy sit.
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Superstars – October 21, 2016: Completes the Trilogy
Superstars Date: October 21, 2016
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
We’re back in the Goldberg world and I have a feeling we might hear about him on this show more than once. Other than that I’m sure we’ll have something other than Darren Young vs. Jinder Mahal Part III. They have most of the Raw roster at their disposal and I can’t imagine we’ll have to sit through that again. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Alicia Fox vs. Nia Jax
Clash of Champions rematch. Fox gets thrown around so she tries a sleeper to almost no avail. A front facelock goes even worse as Fox is thrown all over the place. We hit the bearhug until Fox crawls over Nia’s head. The ax kick gets two but Alicia is launched off the kickout. Fox’s middle rope dive is caught in the Samoan drop for the easy pin at 3:35.
Rating: D+. Just a step above a squash here and that’s all it needed to be. Fox is about all you can feed to Nia at this point as they don’t have enough of a division to have two stories going on at the same time. Nia is going to be a big deal when she’s allowed to go after the title and the first woman to stop her will look like a big deal.
We look at the buildup to Goldberg’s return.
Back to Raw for Rusev and Lana calling out Roman Reigns.
Here are Rusev and Lana to run down America and its horrible family values. He’s heard about Roman’s family but he doesn’t want to hear about 700 Samoans sitting around a campfire dipping a turkey leg in mayonnaise. As a counter, Rusev, has a photo album of his own family.
This includes his mother (two time world rowing champion), his father (who wrestled in the military), his brother Rusev (Rusev Rusev? Either way he’s a chef.), his grandmother and their award winning dog. Reigns FINALLY comes out to interrupt and is quickly beaten down, allowing Rusev to put Reigns in the Accolade.
Back to Raw again for Seth Rollins interrupting Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens, plus the ensuing match.
After Jericho and Owens brag about their friendship a bit, Rollins comes out to a BIG face chant. Like, even bigger than the time he beat up Roman Reigns and should have been turned face then. Rollins thinks everything about Jericho should be on the List, including the trunks which Rollins refers to as Sparkle Crotch. Jericho: “I AM NOT SPARKLE CROTCH!” For calling him that, Rollins JUST MADE THE LIST!
Seth brings up Owens bailing on Jericho two weeks in a row but that’s just to keep the team strong. Jericho issues a challenge to Rollins, who wants to fight right now. Actually hang on because Seth wants to know what Owens is going to do. Jericho and Owens disagree about whether Owens should stay or go with Jericho saying he’s got this because Owens can be here in spirit. Rollins: “Let’s do this. Owens, get your hands off Sparkle Crotch.”
Chris Jericho vs. Seth Rollins
First good sign of the match: the bell rings as we get back because Foley made it official during the break. Do that WAY more often. The SPARKLE CROTCH chants begin as Rollins clotheslines Jericho out of the corner and stomps on the Canadian. A backbreaker gives Jericho two and control but he has to fight out of a Pedigree attempt. Jericho backdrops him over the top and face first onto the apron as we take a break.
Back with both guys getting up and Rollins scoring with a Sling Blade for two. The nose breaking knee has Jericho in trouble but here’s Owens for a distraction. Rollins hits the springboard knee but gets distracted anyway, allowing Jericho to grab the Walls. The referee sees Owens holding the ropes away from Rollins though and the hold is broken. Instead Jericho goes with an enziguri but the Codebreaker is countered into a Pedigree for the pin at 14:36.
Rating: B-. This third straight loss for Jericho is proof of how important talking is in wrestling. Jericho has lost to Rollins three times now and he’s still going to be one of the most over acts on the roster with all of his stupid lines and charisma. It’s something so few people have going for them and Jericho is one of the best ever at it.
Darren Young vs. Jinder Mahal
I WAS KIDDING YOU MORONS!!! You have the entire Raw roster and this is the best you can do??? Darren takes him to the mat to start until a headlock slows things down. The fans actually get behind Darren as he gets two off a shoulder and seated senton. Mahal goes after Bob Backlund and uses the distraction to send Young into the LED board. Back from a break with Mahal grabbing a chinlock.
You know, you would think three straight matches would be enough to give two people some chemistry but that’s not happening here. Some choking on the ropes has Young in even more trouble and it’s back to the chinlock. Young finally punches him out of the air and makes his comeback with some chops. The belly to back suplex onto the apron gets two and you can hear the crowd dying by the second. A roaring elbow sets up the Gut Check for the pin on Mahal at 8:55.
Rating: D-. Please, stop. These two are having some of the least interesting matches I’ve ever seen and for some reason we’re seeing it week after week. There’s no story, there’s no reason to believe Mahal is going to win and there’s no energy to any of these things. Just boring all around and that’s the worst kind of wrestling you can have.
We look at Paul Heyman’s comments to Goldberg.
Goldberg’s comments wrap up the show.
Cole brings out “the greatest champion in WCW history”. I’ll just let that sink in for a moment as Goldberg gets the big, long walk entrance through the back with everyone applauding him (and the Governor of Colorado being shown on camera chanting his name). Goldberg finally comes out and soaks in some cheers before saying you should never say never again. His wife and son are here to see him for the first time ever.
Back in January, he got a phone call from 2K asking him to promote their new video game. The thing he misses most, other than hurting people, is being a hero for kids. Somewhere along the way, he created some drama around here and maybe it’s better left alone. Fans: “NO!” Goldberg: “BUT THEN!” Fans: “YAY!”
Goldberg talks about Brock having Heyman challenge him to a fight, which made him think he has one more beating left in him. Maybe he has one more spear and Jackhammer in him. That means Brock is next but he’s also last. Goldberg goes around the ring and picks up some kids (including his own) to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. The stuff from Raw helped but sweet goodness the original stuff here was a disaster. The women were about as good as a near squash was going to be but the “main event” made me wish I was watching anything else. Like, Main Event for example. Just throw out ANYONE else and it’s going to be better. Not much to this show and that’s about why Superstars exists.
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Monday Night Raw – September 5, 2016: A Labor Of Boredom
Monday Night Raw Date: September 5, 2016
Location: Sprint Center Arena, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
We’re in the Kevin Owens Era but the questions remain focused on HHH, who helped Owens win the title last week while also costing Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns at the same time. This almost has to set up a big match in the very near future though it’s really not clear gets to fight whom. Let’s get to it.
The opening video looks at the last five minutes of Raw and focuses on the big online reaction.
Earlier today Stephanie McMahon demanded a big celebration for Owens. Mick Foley came up and looked really upset. Last week, HHH made him look like a fool and Stephanie won’t talk to him about it. Stephanie gets all serious when Foley accuses her of knowing what HHH was going to do. Stephanie: “Who do you think you’re talking to?” Oh here we go.
Foley actually cuts her off and tells a story about meeting Stephanie just after he flew off the Cell in 1998 and thought she was an innocent girl. Stephanie almost sounds vulnerable as she asks how she can maintain a shred of dignity after what happened last week. Mick believes her but gives a thinly veiled threat if this is all a lie.
Opening sequence.
Mick and Stephanie are in the ring and welcome Owens (in a SUIT) as the balloons fall and pyro goes off. Owens agrees that he does deserve this before ripping into the fans for making it all about themselves with the YOU DESERVE IT chants. He’s known that since the day he set foot in this ring and doesn’t need the fans to tell him that all over again. Last week he beat three superstars to win this title and yeah he got a little nudge from HHH.
Owens had already done 98% of the work though so tonight it’s officially the Kevin Owens Show. This brings out a ticked off Rollins to say this isn’t about Owens. Instead he goes off on Stephanie for letting him down last week. Owens says this isn’t about Seth but Rollins keeps going on his rampage and says everyone is in Stephanie’s pocket. Kevin has been HHH’s chosen one since the day he debuted in NXT but Seth is here to burn the whole thing to the ground.
Owens thinks Rollins has only been making plans for failures so Seth punches him in the face. Stephanie suspends Seth indefinitely but Foley immediately overturns it, drawing him one of the loudest pops he’s gotten in years. Instead of suspending him, Foley gives Seth (Foley to Seth: “I’ve never really liked you.”) the title match at Clash of the Champions.
This was good stuff for the most part, assuming you can ignore HHH helping Rollins last week not being brought up. Rollins seemingly turning face (or at least starting it off) is a really good thing and WAY overdue but it certainly seems to be a slower burn than a full on version. Either way, Clash just got a lot better looking on paper.
After a break, Stephanie and Foley are yelling at each other (Stephanie’s third appearance in twenty three minutes) when Owens comes up. Foley gives him a match against Sami Zayn, which draws in Jericho. Chris gets in a hilarious line by calling Owens the longest reigning Universal Champion in history. That earns him a match against Rollins later.
Charlotte vs. Bayley
Non-title and Charlotte has given Dana a clipboard to take notes. Bayley starts in on the arm and throws some Japanese armdrags, only to have Charlotte send her face first into the buckle. That just fires Bayley up and she sends Charlotte into the buckles a few times instead. Charlotte heads outside and Bayley tries a dropkick under the ropes (think Sami’s diving DDT) but leaves it way short, leaving her to just kick Charlotte in the chest instead. Bayley is favoring her knee as we go to a break.
Back with Charlotte holding the figure four neck lock and actually getting two off a rollup. Charlotte slams the bad leg into the corner and then wraps it around the leg. That sets up a half crab and DDT on the knee but Bayley grabs a rollup to break the momentum. Some limping ax handles to the chest have Charlotte in trouble but Dana pulls Charlotte out of the way of an elbow. Somehow that’s not a DQ so Bayley kicks Charlotte into Dana and hits the Bayley to Belly for the pin at 12:40.
Rating: C+. The important thing here is the time. This match worked because it had some time to set up the leg injury and the ending made sense (save for ANOTHER lack of a disqualification) due to the extra focus it received. You can’t do anything important in a four minute match and it helped so much to actually let this thing go somewhere for a change. Good stuff and the PPV rematch is obvious.
Connor’s Cure video for children’s cancer awareness month.
Charlotte yells at Dana, who promises to make up for it. That earns her one heck of a slap in the face.
Bo Dallas vs. Kyle Roberts
Bo is all serious here despite holding up a BELIEVE IN BO sign (please don’t let this be ANOTHER political themed character) He takes Roberts down and hammers away before snapping off some knees to the face. A Roll of the Dice (as Cole described it) puts Roberts away in 38 seconds.
Owens and Jericho fire each other up.
Chris Jericho vs. Seth Rollins
Rollins starts fast with a dropkick and sends Jericho outside for a suicide dive. Oh yeah he’s wrestling like a face. Back in and Jericho slaps him a few times as the fans aren’t sure who to cheer for. Jericho sends him face first into the buckle and we take a break. Back with Rollins hammering away and getting two off the Sling Blade. A Blockbuster gets the same and Rollins might as well have a big sign saying YEP I’M A FACE NOW around his neck.
Rollins dropkicks him out of the air but gets caught in the Walls. That goes as far as you would expect and Rollins’ low superkick gets two. Rollins gets caught on top but still shoves Jericho off, only to miss the frog splash. The Lionsault gets a close two as this is really picking up. The Codebreaker is broken up and a Pedigree puts Jericho away at 13:47.
Rating: B. Anyone who has watched Rollins for years now has known he would be an awesome face and that’s certainly what you got here. Rollins looked great out there and he’s just so easy to cheer with this offense. I don’t think he gets the title back at Clash but it’s going to be fun watching him in this new role.
Cesaro vs. Sheamus
Match #3 in the series with Cesaro down 2-0 and coming in with a bad shoulder/back. Cesaro grabs some rollups for early near falls but a backdrop has him in trouble. Sheamus sends the back into the apron and drives in some knees. The Cloverleaf is blocked but Sheamus grabs four straight Irish Curses for a near fall. With that not working, Sheamus lifts him up for the Celtic Cross but drops it down into a backbreaker. The Brogue Kick makes it 3-0 to Sheamus at 4:06.
Rating: C. Well that happened and I really don’t care. Thank goodness the fourth match is at a house show on Wednesday so I don’t have to put up with seeing them again that many times. The back injury is fine but my goodness I’ve seen enough of these matches for my lifetime. It really feels like a way to give the writers a month off and that gets old in a hurry.
Shining Stars vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass
Before the match, Enzo thinks he’s in labor so Cass, who has watched a lot of ER, performs Lamaze with HOW YOU DOING replacing the “hoo hoo” part. Enzo and Cass take over to start and it’s off to a quick break. Back with Enzo in trouble but avoiding a Primo charge and making the hot tag off to Cass. The Bada Boom Shaka Lacka is broken up and Epico rolls Enzo up with a handful of trunks at 7:05. Too much was in the break to rate but I’d again like to point out that NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE SHINING STARS.
Sami Zayn says his career has been stuck in place since he beat Owens, who is now the Universal Champion. Owens comes in and laughs at the idea that Sami is chasing him now. The race will never be over and Sami says he’ll win the title on his own, without HHH handing it to him on a silver platter.
Nia Jax vs. Ann Esposito
Apparently Ann is friends Alicia Fox. Nia throws her around to start but gets caught in a sleeper to actually put her in trouble. That earns Ann a ram into the corner and a throw to the mat, followed by three straight Umaga attacks in the corner. A fireman’s carry into a powerslam (with a pause before the powerslam) ends Ann at 1:38.
It’s time for Anderson and Gallows to not be funny. Now they’re retirement specialists who have already gotten rid of the Dudley Boyz, so now let’s welcome the OLD DAY. Cue some New Day impersonators (one on a motorized scooter, one on a walker and one on a cane) to a slow motion version of their theme. The crowd is just silent for this as the Old Day says everything changed for them at Clash of Champions. We get every old person joke you can imagine, including Big E.’s hips going out as he does the swivel.
Cue the real New Day to ask which X-Man is their favorite. For some reason it’s Cyclops…..which isn’t all that funny. Kofi thinks there’s a paradox taking place here and if the New Day comes into contact with the Old Day, the WWE Universe will explode. Anderson and Gallows bail and dancing ensues, only to have Old Day’s sneak attack completely fail. The old guys are beaten down to finally wrap this up. This went on WAY too long and it just wasn’t very funny.
We look back at the opening sequence.
Darren Young vs. Jinder Mahal
Titus O’Neil is on commentary for reasons of pure torture. Darren gets an early two off a swinging neckbreaker but has to fight out of a chinlock. Titus goes out to ringside as Darren hits the Gut Check for the pin at 2:15.
Darren and Titus fight again after the match.
Alicia Fox checks on her injured friend when Nia Jax, who just happened to be there, shows up and laughs. Total Divas is mentioned and Fox yells a lot while throwing things. Nia just leaves as she goes nuts.
Braun Strowman vs. Sin Cara
Well it’s better than jobber after jobber. Cara is fighting due to Braun ripping off the luchador’s mask last week. A dropkick sends Braun into the corner but he explodes out with a shoulder. We hit the neck crank and nerve hold for a bit before Braun sends him outside. Cara is tossed into the steps but comes back with a dropkick, only to be whipped into the barricade for the countout at 2:11. Are we really going to have to watch this again next week? Really?
Strowman beats Cara up even worse post match.
Here’s Sasha Banks for an announcement. She talks about how every story has an ending before talking about the Divas Revolution. Back in July 2015, Stephanie McMahon (oh yeah) introduced the Divas Revolution and it was a new era without bra and panties matches (which there hadn’t been in YEARS) and no more butterfly title (not for about nine months actually).
This revolution was about every little girl and every person who has been told they’re not enough. She used to collect soda cans to try to save up enough money to come to a WWE event. Sasha starts crying as she talks about being injured at Summerslam and she has an update on her condition. Cue Dana Brooke to say she’s going to use Sasha’s broken body to finish what Charlotte started at Summerslam. Dana goes after Sasha but gets caught in a Bank Statement. The bad news was for Charlotte, who will be facing Sasha at Clash of Champions.
Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens
Non-title. They start slugging it out at the bell and it’s quickly outside with Sami going shoulder first into the barricade. Sami does his moonsault off the barricade (and kicks Owens square in the face) as we take a break. Back with Sami fighting out of a chinlock and sending Owens to the floor for back to back flip dives.
The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two but Owens rolls to the apron before the Helluva Kick. A Stunner over the ropes has Sami in trouble but the half and half suplex gets two on the champ. Sami climbs the ropes but lands on a bad ankle. Owens can’t hit the apron powerbomb so Sami grabs another half and half to drop Kevin on his head. Back in and the ankle gives out again, setting up the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin on Sami at 13:05.
Rating: B-. This was their usual good match but you knew Owens wasn’t going to lose his first match as the champion. Sami will probably get his title match at some point in the future and that’s going to be one heck of a rollercoaster when they finally get there. Good stuff here though but this show is way past saving.
Post match here’s Roman Reigns to a LOUD chorus of booing. Chris Jericho comes out to have Owens’ back but Foley prevents the violence. Next week it’s Roman vs. Owens and if Reigns wins, it’s a triple threat at Clash of the Champions. They had that same booking idea recently on Smackdown and it’s still overdone here. Reigns spears Jericho to let off some steam and end the show.
Overall Rating: D. This show hit a wall in the middle and it just never recovered. That being said, it’s not like they had that much good going on in the first place. I liked the opening sequence and there was some good wrestling in the middle but pretty much everything from Cesaro vs. Sheamus until the main event was just death. Then again this is a holiday show and no one is going to watch it but it gets really tiring watching a badly bloated show with so little effort from the creative side of things.
Results
Bayley b. Charlotte – Bayley to Belly
Bo Dallas b. Kyle Roberts – Roll of the Dice
Seth Rollins b. Chris Jericho – Pedigree
Sheamus b. Cesaro – Brogue Kick
Shining Stars b. Enzo Amore/Big Cass – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Nia Jax b. Ann Esposito – Powerslam
Darren Young b. Jinder Mahal – Gut Check
Braun Strowman b. Sin Cara via countout
Kevin Owens b. Sami Zayn – Pop Up Powerbomb
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Wrestlemania XXXII Preview: Total Divas vs. Bad and Blonde
Yeah this is something that is happening too.
Let’s get this one out of the way. Simply put, people don’t care about this stuff and there’s no real reason to. Most of these women either aren’t any good or they aren’t interesting enough to mean anything on the main roster. As is the case with any big cluster of a match like this, no one is going to get any time and it’s probably going to be about getting Eva over because that’s a thing that still exists.
I’ll take the Total Divas to win because that’s a thing that still exists as well. No one is going to get to show off much of anything here, but it’s a good sign that we seem to be getting an unofficial brand split in the women’s division. You have the title match with with actual wrestling and then the Divas doing this nonsense. I have little desire to watch this match, though to be fair I said the same thing about the fourteen Divas mess two years ago and that turned out to be somewhat fun. Nothing to see here though and everyone knows why this is happening.
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