Impact Wrestling – January 12, 2017: The New Beginning of More of the Same

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 12, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s the second show of the Anthem Era and that means more talking about how Anthem is helping keep the show going. Eddie Edwards is still the World Champion after Davey Richards returned last week to help him retain the title in a triple threat match over Lashley and Ethan Carter III. Let’s get to it.

Josh and Pope welcome us to the show and run down tonight’s card.

The Hardys are ready for the Wolves tonight as the Tag Team Titles will be on the line. With less than one week’s build too.

Here’s Ethan Carter III to talk about Davey Richards costing him his World Title match at last week’s One Night Only Live pay per view. All he wanted was one clean title shot but Richards and a chair kept that from happening. Now he wants to invade Wolves Nation like Liam Neeson in the Gray.

Cue Lashley instead and he’s not pleased with Carter. If it were him last week, he would have caved in Eddie Edwards’ head with a chair and be out here with the title right now. Lashley suggests a last man standing match for the title tonight (assuming he means for the #1 contendership) so Carter asks the Anthem Owl on the turnbuckle. Carter wants the match right now and the fight is on in the aisle but it’s quickly broken up.

Lashley vs. Ethan Carter III

Last man standing with the winner getting the shot at Edwards at some point in the future. They brawl on the floor to start with Lashley hitting a powerslam on the concrete for seven, only to get slammed off the top, followed by a cutter. A suplex on the floor keeps Lashley down long enough for Ethan to set up two tables as we take a break.

Back with Lashley being sent into the corner and getting German suplexed out of it for four. A superplex doesn’t keep Lashley down either so he superplexes Carter for a long count. The spear gets seven on Carter so Lashley spears him again. The count last long enough that Lashley can set up a table in the corner.

Carter avoids a third spear and hits one of his own to put Lashley through the table but both are up at nine. Ethan just unloads on him with a chair but that’s still not enough. With nothing else working, Ethan grabs his rear naked choke but gets dropped off the apron through both tables. Both guys are down and only Lashley can beat the count for the win at 17:15.

Rating: B-. Good brawl but my goodness I’m bored seeing these two and Eddie fighting over the title. Lashley has been in the same spot for well over a year now and that’s not something I want to keep watching over and over again. It’s nice to have a good brawl like this instead of the same match but can we PLEASE get some fresh blood in the title picture?

Next week it’s Race for the Case (Feast or Fired) with the winners getting four matches the following week at Open Fight Night. So they’re having a gimmick match to set up a gimmick show in the span of two weeks.

Eli Drake has Tyrus grab a backstage worker and force him to read a prepared statement since the fans were glad that Eli wasn’t allowed to speak. Drake is going to get his revenge, starting by winning Race for the Case next week. He beats the guy up for not having enough emotion and Tyrus gets rid of the cameras.

Here’s Rockstar Spud in powder blue to introduce Aron Rex, who is now in a white fur coat in something like a Liberace gimmick (which Rex pitched to WWE for years but was never allowed to go through with it). Spud introduces him again once he’s in the ring so Rex can say everyone has paid to see him for years but they should never pay for him to do something as barbaric as fighting. The coat comes off and Rex now has flesh colored trunks so here’s Robbie E. to interrupt. The fight is quickly on and Rex uses the big rings to knock Robbie down. Rex puts the coat back on and says violence is never the answer.

The DCC is ready to take out Decay tonight. Kingston has fifteen years of memories of being told he’s too violent for this business but he knew his time had come when James Storm called him. Storm says DCC is for Death Crew Council.

Allie is in the back when Maria comes up to yell at her. Maria isn’t happy that Allie is still talking to Braxton Sutter but Allie says she’s done everything Maria has told her to do. Haven’t these two broken up like a million times now?

Decay vs. DCC

Storm is the odd man out here. It’s a big brawl to start (as it should be) with the DCC taking over off an Alabama Slam to Steve. Bram comes in for a clothesline as Josh runs through all the advertisements he can squeeze into a single match. The hot tag brings in Abyss and everything breaks down again with Steve diving onto Bram and Kingston. The match is thrown out for a double DQ at 5:11.

Rating: D+. That’s the right call as there’s only so much you can have these teams do before it gets out of hand. I’m glad the DCC didn’t lose here as they have potential, even though they’ve already lost a lot of their steam. But hey, at least they could be in Tag Team Apocalypto for a joke appearance, which is exactly the point of a team like them.

They keep brawling out of the arena.

The Wolves say tonight is special because they can get their titles back.

Brooke is back and thrilled to get back in the ring.

Mike Bennett vs. Braxton Sutter

Mike kicks him in the face to start and a Maria distraction keeps Bennett in control. Sutter makes an early comeback as we get a weak “we want Allie” chant. Maria grabs Sutter’s leg though and the Miracle in Progress connects. Before the cover though, Maria wants a kiss so here’s Allie to cut her off, allowing Sutter to grab a rollup for the pin at 5:04.

Rating: D. This was all about the storyline and there’s nothing wrong with that, save for the fact that Maria vs. Allie should have ended a long time ago but it’s still going. Sutter could be something interesting but I’m not sure if this is going to mean anything going forward, which is one of TNA’s biggest issues.

Post break, Maria yells about Allie screwing things up. Mike says Allie works for Maria so Maria can destroy her.

Rosemary comes out and says the Knockouts will all become part of the darkness but here’s Jade, now with short hair, to say they’re just getting started. She wants her rematch and Rosemary is very pleased. The match is accepted, as long as it can be Monster’s Ball. Jade agrees and stops an attack from behind. I’ll take Jade as a challenger, but I don’t believe for a second that it’s not just filler until Gail Kim comes back for another title run.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Hardys

The Hardys are defending. Matt and Davey get things going before it’s quickly off to Jeff for a dropkick. That goes nowhere so the World Champ comes in and gets double teamed to the mat as we take an early break. Back with Eddie getting in a neckbreaker but not being able to make the hot tag.

Instead it’s back to Matt who gives up the hot tag and gets caught in a Richards Figure Four. Jeff’s save is countered into an ankle lock at the same time before Davey cranks on Matt’s knee even more. The Wolves take over on Matt for a bit with some alternating stomps, only to have Jeff come in for another reset (Josh’s words).

A double Whisper in the Wind puts the Wolves down but Jeff gets caught in Chasing the Dragon for two. Davey misses the top rope double stomp and it’s the Twist into the Swanton for two with Richards making a save. Eddie dives onto Matt so there’s no one for whatever Davey wanted to set up, allowing Jeff to roll Richards up for the pin at 16:33.

Rating: B-. The match was fine but it’s the same problem TNA has been having with its booking for so long now: there’s no reason for this match to be happening other than they’re both great teams. There’s no animosity, no major story and nothing more than the Hardys saying DELETE DELETE DELETE over and over again to set it up. I’m sure if you look back to when the Wolves were around full time there might be a story but that has nothing to do with whatever else you can watch on Pop TV so Josh isn’t going to tell us about it. I’ve never been a fan of this booking style and it’s one of TNA’s favorites.

The Wolves argue to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show was all over the place and that’s not really a good thing. So many of these stories feel like they’ve been going on for months now (because they’ve been going on for months now) and that makes for some very tedious shows as the angles rarely advance. So now we’re getting Lashley vs. Edwards again because that’s something fresh and new. When you keep hyping up Anthem as the new owners and partners or whatever they’re billed as, it might be a nice idea to actually present something fresh instead of the Wolves reunion and Aron Rex as Liberace.

Results

Lashley b. Ethan Carter III – Carter was driven through two tables

DCC vs. Decay went to a Double DQ when all four brawled on the floor

Braxton Sutter b. Mike Bennett – Rollup

Hardys b. Wolves – Rollup to Richards

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Impact Wrestling – January 5, 2017: No More Happy New Year

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 5, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

This might actually be an interesting show as TNA is under new ownership with Dixie Carter all but completely out of power. It’s been a few weeks since we’ve had a full show of new content actually in the Impact Zone as we saw two weeks of Hardy related material plus a very rushed Best of 2016 show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the World Title situation with Ethan Carter III and Eddie Edwards going to a double pin and Edwards vs. Lashley going into the North Carolina woods at Total Nonstop Deletion.

Here’s Eddie to wish us a happy new year and to say he’ll fight anyone anytime. This brings out Lashley to say he’ll be giving out beatings this year, starting with Eddie. Lashley wants a title shot tonight but here’s Ethan Carter III, who makes sure to point out the Anthem logo. Carter was watching these two fight in Matt Hardy’s backyard and thinking about getting his title back. Lashley calls them both cheerleaders and isn’t cool with Carter wanting a rematch tonight too. The champ suggests a triple threat match and promises a special surprise for later. As long as it’s not the Wolves reuniting, I’m good.

Grand Championship: Moose vs. Mike Bennett

Moose is defending. The announcers try to act like this was a great friendship before just giving up on the idea. Bennett kicks him down and grabs a chinlock before hammering away to gain favor with the judges. That sounds like it belongs in some lame adventure game. Another hard chinlock ends the first round, which Bennett easily wins. Moose fights back to start the second round and hits a middle rope moonsault for an early two.

Back up and Moose dives into a cutter for two. We hit another chinlock until Moose takes his head off with the Game Changer as the round ends. After a break, Moose wins round two and grabs the chokebomb for two. He misses a top rope moonsault though and Bennett grabs a piledriver for two. They very slowly slug it out with Moose hitting him in the face but getting kicked in the chest. Another slugout is enough for them to take it to the bell at 16:49 (counting breaks). Moose wins via split decision.

Rating: C+. This was one of the best Grand Championship style matches I’ve seen so far but again, this could have been the exact same thing if they just had a regular time limit without the whole rounds system. It feels like an unnecessary detail and that’s not a good thing. At least the match was good and Mike and Maria seem to be around for now.

Swoggle is in the back when he runs into the Hardys. Matt asks if he was sent here by Mc-Mehon to infiltrate the event. Apparently he was and Matt laughs.

Rockstar Spud vs. Swoggle

Spud wants to start this year with a win because the winning streak starts now. Swoggle starts fast with a spear, a German suplex and the Celtic Cross for a completely clean pin at 1:09.

Post match Spud quits.

Bennett goes up to Moose again and demands a rematch on the pay per view in a match where anything goes. Moose agrees.

Eli Drake holds up signs that say he gets to talk next.

It’s time for Fact of Life with the once again verbal Eli Drake. He’ll never be done with Ethan Carter III but tonight his guests are the Broken Hardys. Reby plays them to the ring on the piano and Eli says get the camera back on him. He wants to know where his invite was to Tag Team Apocalypto but Matt says maybe Eli was scared like the Day of New or the Bucks of Youth. Drake: “I don’t know what you just said.”

I think they start quoting song lyrics to each other until Eli hits the button over and over. Matt says something about magic and blasphemy so Eli throws out a challenge for tomorrow’s pay per view. We get the dueling DELETE/YEAH chants until Jeff calls it very confusing and hits Drake in the head.

Eddie is about to talk about his surprise when Lashley comes up with a threat.

Video on Total Nonstop Deletion.

Helms Dynasty vs. Decay

Gregory Shane Helms is no longer the Hurricane for no apparent reason. In a quick pre-match interview, Shane says he doesn’t remember being the Hurricane but he’s back now. Sure why not. Decay takes over to start but the Dynasty realizes they can have some more luck against Steve, who is beaten down in the corner. Lee cleans some house but a tag brings in Abyss to wreck the smaller guys. Helms tries to chokeslam Abyss and gets mist from Rosemary for his efforts. A chokeslam off the top ends Everett at 3:23.

Rating: D+. Another nothing match because there’s no reason to think either of these teams can beat the Hardys. That’s what happens when you put everyone together in one match and have the Hardys go over. But then again I shouldn’t be complaining because we got that WICKED BURNING HHH JAB and that’s what matters.

Post match the DCC jumps Decay from behind.

Maria has something special planned for Allie.

Here are Maria, Sienna and Laurel Van Ness with something to say. Maria talks about being here a year ago and looking forward to another year. First things first though: Allie needs to get down here. Allie comes out and Maria screeches a lot, saying Allie’s plan has two problems. There’s going to be a match right now so Allie gets in her face and says bring it on.

Allie vs. Sienna

Madison Rayne is on commentary. Allie goes right after her but gets taken down by Sienna instead. A one foot cover gets two and a sideslam gives Sienna the same. Sienna keeps getting distracted by Braxton Sutter on the floor but is still able to spit at Allie. That fires Allie up even more and she slams Sienna, only to have Laurel hug Braxton for a distraction. Allie is upset and the Silencer puts her away at 5:05.

Rating: D. Aside from this story going and going, Madison is really getting on my nerves. She adds nothing, she isn’t interesting, she isn’t funny and she’s just there, talking about things that anyone could figure out by watching the match. I’m really not a fan of adding things in for the sake of adding things in and that’s what Madison is right now.

We hear about tomorrow’s pay per view. No I won’t be watching it.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards

Eddie is defending and helps Carter beat on Lashley, who suplexes both of them down without much effort. A trip to the floor doesn’t do much and it’s a double clothesline to put Lashley on the floor again as we take a break. Back with Lashley on the floor as the other two fight over a standing switch. Lashley comes back in and German suplexes both of them at the same time before exposing a turnbuckle.

That goes nowhere (yet) and it’s a double suplex to Lashley instead. Eddie takes over with chops all around and a Blue Thunder Bomb gets two on Carter. Something like a Tower of Doom puts all three down and it’s Carter up first with a clothesline to Lashley. The TK3 gets two on Lashley but he throws Carter to the floor. It’s time to grab the title but here’s the returning Davey Richards to take it away. The Boston Knee Party retains Eddie’s title at 19:52.

Rating: B. Another year, another long TNA Title match that was only long for the sake of being long. I still have no reason to care about any of these people and it feels like almost nothing is going to change if any of them becomes champion. It also feels like these same three have been around the title FOREVER and I’m not sure if it would be worse to have Richards vs. Edwards or more of these three.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event helped this one but it’s still the exact same TNA that it’s been for a long time: too much filler (this show was an extra ten minutes long for the sole purpose of being an extra ten minutes long), not enough interesting wrestling, almost no interesting characters and more of the same stuff over and over again. I didn’t see anything that would make me think this is a fresh start other than ANTHEM being mentioned all the time. It’s not a horrible show but it’s really uninteresting, which isn’t a good sign after all the hype of the ownership issues.

Results

Moose b. Mike Bennett via split decision

Swoggle b. Rockstar Spud – Celtic Cross

Decay b. Helms Dynasty – Chokeslam to Everett

Sienna b. Allie – Silencer

Eddie Edwards b. Lashley and Ethan Carter III – Boston Knee Party to Lashley

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – December 8, 2016: The Last Normal One

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 8, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s the last regular show of the year as next week will be Total Nonstop Deletion because it’s a good idea to give the Hardys their own show. The big story this week is the World Title on the line as Eddie Edwards defends against Ethan Carter III. You can almost guarantee a screwy finish of some kind as TNA loves leaving us hanging. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the World Title match with both guys seeming to have a lot of respect for each other.

Here’s new Grand Champion Moose for an opening chat. We get the YOU DESERVE IT chant, which is really starting to lose meaning. The guy has been around less than six months and has only been wrestling on the big stage for less than two years. Anyway, Moose promises to be a fighting champion but here’s Drew Galloway to interrupt.

Drew says the title was built for him and now he could have a match of the year against someone like Moose. The fight is about to begin but here’s Aron Rex (now clean shaven) to interrupt. Rex says three seconds isn’t enough time for a match and threatens to sue the fans for, and I feel stupid for saying this, Rexual Harassment. He’ll have his rematch right now.

Grand Championship: Moose vs. Aron Rex

Rex is challenging and wastes no time with the loaded up punch, which knocks Moose out on the floor. Back in and Rex can only get two so we hit the chinlock. Moose makes a quick comeback to end the round but Rex still takes the first. Rex uses his evil towel to blind Moose to start the second and it’s ANOTHER chinlock. The Wind-Up Elbow gets two on the champ and more elbows give Rex the second round. Round three begins with Rex hammering away again, only to get dropkicked off the top. The Game Changer retains the title at 7:36 total.

Rating: D+. I really cannot stand this gimmick. It’s TNA trying to be creative and while it’s something new, that doesn’t mean it’s interesting. The problem here is you could take away the rounds and the match would be exactly the same. Just have Rex cheat to win any regular title and it’s the same thing. That’s a major problem but TNA just keeps running with this thing.

Eddie says he’s ready.

Galloway rants about TNA not holding the tournament for him.

Aiden O’Shea vs. Mandrews

O’Shea goes for a slam but the much smaller Mandrews falls on him to take over. Aiden’s big forearm hits the apron by mistake and now he’s ticked off. The shirt comes off and the slow beating begins, only to have Mandrews send him outside. That means a big flip dive as I’m wondering why I’m supposed to boo this guy. A springboard seated senton sets up a shooting star press to end O’Shea at 5:48.

Rating: C-. So……he’s one of the least interesting wrestlers in the division, he’s turned heel, and now he wins a match that by definition is about making someone look like a face? Normally I would attribute this to a weird taping situation where Mandrews’ turn was taped after this but, since it’s TNA, it’s just weird booking as this took place after the turn.

Mahabali Shera/Al Snow vs. Tribunal

Indian strap match, meaning they’re bound at the wrists by straps and you win by touching all six corners. They brawl on the floor to start until the wrists are strapped, meaning the Tribunal can start choking. Snow’s comeback is cut off but it’s too early to touch the buckles. Low blows and straps to the back have the Tribunal down and a double low bridging allows Snow and Shera to win at 5:19.

Rating: D-. Whatever man. I’ve been sick of this feud since the second it began and this isn’t getting any better. Hopefully this blows it off and we can go on to anything else because I have no idea why it would keep going. No one involved is interesting and no one involved is being elevated but it keeps going anyway. Such is life in TNA.

We see Matt Hardy asleep with the Seven Deities telling him about something called Apocalypto.

Ethan is ready for the title match and makes fun of Eli Drake for not being able to talk.

Here are the Hardys to talk about Tag Team Apocalypto next week. Matt says the match will be so big that Mc-Mahon or Hayman couldn’t promote it. There will be regular stars of the Impact Wrestling roster and even King Maxill will make his debut. The Tag Team Titles will be on the line in an open challenge to any tag team in the history of space and time.

Cue Shane Helms (He still works here?) to say he’ll be there. Matt can’t wait to see 3 Count or the superheroes back in action. Helms is actually bringing the Helms Dynasty and promises to be there. Cue Decay to say they’ll top the Great War when they appear as well. Helms takes a Twist of Fate.

After a break, DCC says they’ll be in North Carolina next week too.

Laurel Van Ness vs. Allie

Madison Rayne is on commentary. Before the match, Maria laughs at Allie for pretending to be a wrestler. Allie says she’s been training with Braxton Sutter, which freaks Laurel out. Sutter comes out to watch from ringside as Laurel starts beating Allie up. Allie gets in a suplex as Sutter and Mike Bennett fight to the back. With the men gone, Laurel misses a charge in the corner and a reverse DDT puts her away at 5:11.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing but the story was all it needed to be. Allie is one of the most over people on the roster and seeing her beat up Maria and company is the best idea possible. It’s also very helpful that she’s a trained wrestler so we don’t have to sit through months of her learning how to do things. Sutter vs. Bennett could be good too.

Maria tries to get in and is shoved right back down.

Video on Carter vs. Edwards.

Allie is all happy and kisses Sutter in celebration.

Total Nonstop Deletion ad.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Eddie Edwards

Eddie is defending and they trade armbars to start. A running knee lift cuts Eddie off and sends him to the floor as they’re definitely taking their time here. Ethan gets two off a knee drop and we take a break. Back with Carter getting two off a suplex and we’re off to a chinlock.

That goes nowhere so Eddie hits a top rope hurricanrana to very little reaction from the audience. They chop it out until Ethan is knocked outside for the suicide dive. Eddie’s rollup is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two but the TK3 doesn’t work. Back up and the champ gets crotched on the ropes for the superplex into a small package near fall.

Carter speeds things up until the Boston Knee Party sends him outside. The TK3 connects on the floor but Carter still can’t put him away. The Backpack Stunner is countered into Ethan’s rear naked choke, only to have Eddie roll onto his back. It’s a double finish as Eddie taps at the same time as the three count at 20:35.

Rating: B. The match was good but, as usual, it felt like they were just doing moves until we got to the ending. The near falls helped a lot and I buy them as equals but the ending felt a bit forced. It’s a good main event but really not enough to save the show, which wasn’t the best leading up to this.

The match is ruled a no contest so Eddie retains. Replays show that Carter’s shoulder was up at two anyway but it’s not acknowledged. I’m guessing Carter goes heel after this.

Overall Rating: C-. That main event helped a lot but there’s almost no way to save this show. Maybe they were just spent at the end of the marathon tapings or maybe TNA just isn’t capable of putting on quality TV (there’s a shocker) but so much of this show feels like a waste of time.

I can’t count how many things on here just exist with no emotional connection. When you have a gimmick match that doesn’t work, a pretty worthless big vs. little match, that stupid, stupid Snow/Shera match and a mostly bad women’s match, a good main event just isn’t enough. The show isn’t the worst in the world and is watchable at times but it’s not interesting and that’s a much bigger problem.

Results

Moose b. Aron Rex – Game Changer

Mandrews b. Aiden O’Shea – Shooting star press

Al Snow/Mahabali Shera b. Tribunal – Snow and Shera touched all six buckles

Allie b. Laurel Van Ness – Reverse DDT

Eddie Edwards vs. Ethan Carter III went to a no contest with a double finish

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




New Column: In Other News – BOO Edition

http://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-in-other-news-boo-edition/

It’s another version looking at some smaller stories because I’d be wasting your time looking at Charlotte vs. Sasha again or complaining about Stephanie being annoying.




Impact Wrestling – October 20, 2016: I Think We Have A Bad Connection

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 20, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

The main event scene has picked up in the last week as we have what seems to be a four way feud between Lashley, Cody, Moose and World Champion Eddie Edwards. Other than that there’s the start of the Hardys vs. the Tribunal and more of Maria Kanellis-Bennett and company vs. Gail Kim over the Knockouts Title. Let’s get to it.

We look at the end of last week’s show with Moose beating Carter to earn a shot against Lashley for a future title shot and Maria losing her rematch against Kim, meaning she’s out of power in the Knockouts division. As for tonight, Cody is ready to take the World Title from Eddie Edwards.

Here’s Cody to open things up. He’s a fan of country music and a song has been making him think about why he left his former employer. It wasn’t because of the money but because of the moments. Tonight he gets one of those moments when he has a chance to win the World Title. When he was fifteen he told his dad he wanted to be a wrestler. Dusty wasn’t sure but he gave his blessing, but only if Cody was the best. That means becoming World Champion so here’s Eddie to interrupt.

Eddie praises Cody for his career and says Cody has reinvented himself over and over. When Eddie is in the ring taking beating after beating, he knows who he is because of the Wolves Nation. The question is does Cody know who he is. Cody lists off parts of various characters he’s had over the years before getting in Eddie’s face. This brings out Lashley, who says the future is him hurting one of the two people in the ring. Cue Moose and our first match is after the break.

Moose vs. Lashley

The winner gets a title shot at some point in the future. They immediately start slugging away but Lashley’s suplex is no sold. The Moose punches send Lashley outside, only to have him send Moose into the post. Back in and Moose gets thrown around again but he dropkicks Lashley off the top. A very big running dive is nearly left short but is still good enough to take Lashley out.

They trade spinebusters for two each (Moose’s looked way off) before Moose no sells a superplex (that’s Lashley’s third vertical suplex in about five minutes). A spear each gives both guys another near fall. Moose’s discus lariat gets two more but the chokebomb is broken up, allowing Lashley to hit the middle rope spear for the pin at 7:35.

Rating: C+. I really wouldn’t go out of my way to point out how similar Lashley and Moose’s offenses are like they did here. On top of that, they’re really going to have Moose lose clean this soon? I mean, it’s fairly clear that he and Lashley have very similar styles (give the whole trading moves here) so they’re going to stick with the same guy that has been in the main event for well over a year now and not exactly set the world on fire? Oh yeah: this is TNA.

The Tribunal talks about wanting respect but the feed cuts out to hear from the three masked men. Chaos arrives tonight.

Tyrus ad.

Here’s Fact of Life with Eli Drake. Eli is Bound For Gold and rips on the crowd a bit, which responds with a laugh track. The guest this week is Aron Rex and the “audience” isn’t thrilled. Rex loves the title and what it means so he calls it sweetheart. Drake talks his usual trash so Rex goes through various champions who don’t talk trash.

Since Rex beat Edwards for the Grand Championship, that makes him the man around here. Rex says none of them have anything on the man who is Bound For Gold. This brings Rex around to Ethan Carter III, who Drake says is bound for the dumpster. Cue Carter but Drake sends it to a break, complete with a TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES DUMMIES graphic. This segment gets better and better every week.

Back with Carter in the ring and calling Eli out for a fight. He wants to destroy that set but wants Eli to press the button so he can punch Drake (YEAH!), kick Drake (YEAH!) or choke Drake (YEAH!). Eli pushes the button over and over so Carter dives on the security and the fight is on. Rex tries to break it up but Jesse Godderz (who Rex insulted during his interview) comes out to go after Aron. Security breaks it up.

Here are the Hardys to do their catchphrases and accuse the Tribunal of trying to take food off King Maxel’s plate. Thankfully the Tribunal cuts off the DELETE chants.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Tribunal

Hardys are defending and it’s another brawl to start with the champs taking over early on. The announcers talk about the Best of Sting DVD being back in stock, which is one of the first merchandise plugs I’ve heard in a LONG time. Dax gets in a few shots on Matt but it’s quickly off to Jeff for some forearms to the head. Jeff is quickly taken down into the challengers’ corner but WAIT! We have to pause the match because Josh has an update on a new Pop television event! I could live with those a lot better if Josh knew anything about making a transition.

A legsweep gets Jeff out of trouble and it’s off to Matt for a bunch of biting. Did the Hardys ever have a face turn moment and I missed it? Or am I just supposed to cheer for them because the schmucks in the Impact Zone do? Not that it matters as we’re getting the Hardys whether we like them or not because they’re stars or something. Matt hits a quick Side Effect but gets caught in a double spinebuster for two. Back to back Twists of Fate end Baraka at 7:49.

Rating: B-. This was every bit of the tag team formula and it actually worked well. The Hardys can still do a basic match very well but that doesn’t mean I want two Hardy themed specials airing at Christmastime. That’s one of TNA’s major issues: they have no idea when to slow down on something.

Post match the three masked men appear and lay out the Tribunal. So we have masked men who appear after a series of weird visuals and attack people. And the response from the TNA fans who got annoyed at Final Deletion being copied will be……?

Allie is getting ready to stand up to Maria when Braxton Sutter comes up. That goes nowhere as Laurel Van Ness comes in to say Maria has something to say to Allie. Laurel hits on Braxton a bit too.

The masked men say no one is safe because they’re here to stay.

Lashley talks to Cody about destroying various saviors. Cody doesn’t think the good luck wishes are genuine and says it’s not bragging if you can back it up. Lashley says their paths will cross sooner or later.

We look back at the end of Gail vs. Maria from last week.

Here are Maria, Allie and Laurel with something to say but their entrance is drowned out by Josh going on and on about the reign of terror being over. Maria may not be in charge anymore but she’s still the greatest Knockout of all time. Of all the people she can blame though, it’s all Allie’s fault. Maria demands an apology but Allie finally stands up to her and says Maria is the one to blame. The beatdown is on and Allie is left laying with Maria saying it’s Allie vs. Laurel next week.

Lashley tries to play mind games with Eddie but the champ isn’t buying it.

Tyrus tells Mahabali Shera to not dance because he’s going to fight tonight.

Ethan Carter III and Jesse Godderz want to face Aron Rex and Eli Drake next week.

Mahabali Shera vs. Mike Bennett

Bennett’s music is restored this week. Shera poses to start so Mike knocks him into the corner, only to have his chops no sold. Bennett sends him into the corner and beats on Shera for a bit, only to get caught with slams and a bearhug. Since this isn’t 1984, none of that has any effect and Bennett rakes the eyes to set up the MIP for the pin at 2:57.

Video on Eddie vs. Cody.

DJZ says himself, Mandrews and Braxton Sutter are the beat Team X Gold team around. Cue Rockstar Spud (who gets a TATER TOT chant) to ask why he hasn’t been asked to participate. DJZ: “Nobody likes you.” Spud says he has his own team who will be here next week and they’re better than X, Y and Z. Do they really think they have room for Trios Titles around here? That’s what they think is the best use of their time?

TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Cody

Cody is challenging and has Brandi Rhodes in his corner. Feeling out process to start and a double dropkick gives us a standoff. Back from a break with Cody getting kicked down to the mat, only to have him chop Eddie into an armbar. Eddie fights up again but eats the Beautiful Disaster, followed by a springboard dive to the floor.

A slam on the ramp sets up a modified Muscle Buster on the champ for another near fall and Cody is getting frustrated. The champ is loaded up for a superplex but reverses into a small package (looked horrible as Cody was laying on the mat and then raised up to get to the pin) to retain at 13:05.

Rating: C+. This was fine but it’s just another title match being handed to an ex-WWE guy who hasn’t proven a thing in this company yet. At least Rex had to win a tournament to get his title. Cody on the other hand was literally handed a World Title match the day he arrived and that’s not a good look for TNA.

They shake hands and Eddie lets Cody pose (Why? He hasn’t actually done anything yet.), allowing Maria to come out and attack Brandi as the show ends.

Overall Rating: C. Horribly choreographed ending aside, this was a mostly watchable show. However, there’s a big problem that TNA has had for a very long time now and this week showcased it more than they’ve done in a long time: there’s no one to connect with for most fans. Here are some of the characters on this show:

A MMA/professional wrestler

A former NFL player

The freakshow with magical powers

A loudmouth with a model wife who was treated like a huge deal on arrival

A guy who likes to dance and hired a fixer to do his fighting for him

The son of a legend who was literally given a World Title shot without winning a single match

There are a few relatable characters (Allie, maybe Eddie) but they’re very few and far between. They might do cool stuff every now and then and the wrestling can be good but the characters aren’t people I’m going to have a connection with. Look at Daniel Bryan: the everyman held down by the system who kept fighting until he won. It’s something people can connect to, which isn’t the case in TNA the majority of the time. Give us someone we care about instead of someone fun to watch. It can make a world of difference.

Results

Lashley b. Moose – Middle rope spear

Hardys b. Tribunal – Twist of Fate to Baraka

Mike Bennett b. Mahabali Shera – MIP

Eddie Edwards b. Cody – Small package

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – September 22, 2016: Is It Too Late To Turn Around?

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 22, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

There are two weeks left before Bound For Glory and a lot of the card has been filled in. Tonight we have the two semifinal matches in the Grand Championship tournament and more of the build towards Ethan Carter III vs. Lashley for the TNA World Title. We’re to the point where everything is about setting up the pay per view so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Lashley and Moose brawling to end last week’s show until Ethan Carter III came out for the save.

Grand Championship Title Tournament Semifinals: Drew Galloway vs. Eddie Edwards

Josh tries to get “Scottish Dragon” over as Drew’s latest nickname. It’s better than the Leonidas of TNA. Drew chops away to start but Eddie backflips out of a suplex and kicks Drew out to the floor. The suicide dive connects, only to have Drew pop back up with a tilt-a-whirl slam onto the apron. Drew rolls some suplexes for two before getting in some right hands to “break down the guard” to end the first round.

Drew wins the first round so Eddie scores with a running clothesline to start the second round. A super hurricanrana gets two on Galloway and Eddie ties him in the Tree of Woe, only to have Drew sit up into a belly to belly superplex. The Boston Knee Party sends Drew outside and back to back suicide dives has Eddie in full control to end the second round.

Eddie wins the second round to tie it up and starts fast by going after the knee. That’s reversed into the Iron Maiden but Eddie reverses into one of his own. Eddie shifts over into some leg holds so Drew kicks him in the face. That’s one way to do it. They chop it out with Drew getting the better of it and hitting a Razor’s Edge buckle bomb. Eddie gets an enziguri but walks into the Futureshock for two as time expires at 10:17.

Rating: B-. And that’s why I don’t like this tournament structure. This was one of the better matches TNA had put on in a few weeks if not months but the stupid rounds and time limit made sure that they couldn’t keep going because we need to end this match at nine minutes. To be fair though, how else are we going to get in more vignettes of Vanguard I and Senor Benjamin playing chess?

The judges give it to Drew on a split decision. Again, the points aren’t actually mentioned and they would have the same result if they just had the judges vote on a winner instead of giving numbers. But hey, why do what makes sense when you can make it more complicated?

Post match Drew says his match will be the real main event of Bound For Glory because nothing can follow him. This brings out Ethan Carter III, who doesn’t like Drew suggesting that he’s the better man. Drew thinks it’s interesting how Ethan comes out on his feet all the time and offers him a Grand Championship shot. As Drew leaves, Ethan says he can beat Drew anywhere anytime but here’s Lashley to interrupt. Mike Bennett runs in from behind to beat on Drew and it’s a double beatdown. Cue Moose but the good guys are left laying.

Allie is trying to find people to help with Maria Kanellis’ public workout but Maria comes up to yell at her again.

Aron Rex and Eli Drake are ready for their semifinal match.

Bennett asks Lashley if they’re friends but Lashley says he has no friends. Mike thinks he can get a title shot by beating Moose but Lashley stares him down.

Grand Championship Title Tournament Semifinals: Aron Rex vs. Eli Drake

Before the bell, Drake tells Rex to stay off the mic because he can’t hang at this level. Rex laughs off the insults and says he’s going to tell the tale of Eli Drake. Eli is the offspring of an out of work Chippendale dancer and a Muppet and has bad taste in knee pads. That’s a little rude but not exactly Drake was probably more insulting. Rex needs to stick with being smart and not trying to be a Rock knockoff.

They trade headlocks to start as it’s a very simple first minute. Rex’s Russian legsweep looks to set up the Wind-Up Elbow but Drew bails to the floor. A sideslam looks to set up the Edgecator on Drake but the first round wraps up. Round one goes to Rex but he still can’t get the Edgecator to start the second.

Drake pops him in the jaw a few times and grabs a chinlock, which really isn’t the best idea in a match this short. A jumping neckbreaker gets two on Aron and Drake pounds him down to end the second round. Drake wins the second and Rex is in trouble to start the final round. Not that it matters as Rex hits his discus punch (the Revelator) for the pin at 8:43.

Rating: C. This wasn’t too bad and yet again the time limit really hurt things. We’ve spent the better part of a month setting up a final that’s going to have a nine minute time limit for a big fight between people who want to hurt each other. Drake deserves a bit better than this but at least they’re giving a rub to someone with potential.

Decay promises to destroy the Hardys in the Great War but they catch Vanguard I spying on them. A Senor Benjamin hologram pops up to laugh at them as Vanguard I flies away.

Rex is talking about his win when Galloway pops up to say he’ll win, though Aron disagrees.

We see a man walking to his car and talking about his past being behind. He gets in his car and the reveal is Cody Rhodes (just Cody here), who will debut at Bound For Glory.

Here’s Decay with a message for the Hardys. Rosemary says the Great War will be the end of every last Hardy. More destruction is promised until Matt Hardy appears in the crowd to say this is a world of magic. The battlefield for the Great War will be the entire world so Matt can delete the title reign. Jeff shows up to say they’ll twist Decay’s fate and Abyss will no longer be beautiful, Steve won’t be crazy and Rosemary won’t be rosy anymore. The lights go out and come back up to reveal Steve and Abyss tied to the ropes. Reby shows up to spear Rosemary but she can’t get a Twist of Fate. Reby promises to take care of her soon.

Ethan Carter III and Moose fire each other up.

X-Division Champion DJZ comes out and issues an open challenge for a title match.

X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Trevor Lee

Lee is challenging and starts fast with a slam to work on DJZ’s back. The champ fights back and sends Lee outside for a big flip dive to take out Lee and Andrew Everett. Back in and a middle rope back elbow to the jaw rocks Lee, followed by a springboard hurricanrana. The ZDT retains the title at 3:45.

Rating: C-. So much for the X-Division being revitalized. This was just like most X-Division matches you’ve seen in the last few years: no reason for it to happen other than “let’s have a match”, nothing special for wrestling, almost no time and the same people fighting for the title that have been fighting for it since I can remember. It’s not a bad match or anything but it’s really lazy storytelling.

Post match Everett and Lee (they’re still the Helms Dynasty despite Helms not being around in months) beat on DJZ until Eddie Edwards makes the save. Edwards asks for a title match next week and DJZ says it’s on.

Maria yells at Allie for being stupid like Gail Kim. Allie is crushed, again.

Here are Maria, Allie and Sienna for Maria’s public workout. Maria yells at Allie and tells her to get out of the camera shot because no one wants to see her. Sienna deserves a title shot but isn’t going to get one tonight. An unnamed opponent comes out and gets beaten up by Sienna, allowing Maria to get the first pin in about thirty seconds. Allie doesn’t have a second opponent because she already found the easiest opponent she could. Maria berates her again so here’s a woman in all black, including a mask. Yeah I think you know where this one is going.

The masked woman easily takes Maria to the mat and reveals herself as Gail Kim. Sienna comes in for the save but Gail beats her down too and sends the other heels running. There’s an interesting story here, assuming you completely remove Gail from the match. Every part of this looks to be setting up Allie taking the title from Maria but no, let’s have Gail Kim get the title shot instead. Maybe Maria retains anyway and loses to Allie down the road but that should be at the pay per view, not some TV match later on.

Same Cody vignette from earlier. They really couldn’t film two of these?

We run down the Bound For Glory card.

Ethan Carter III/Moose vs. Lashley/Mike Bennett

Bennett drops to the floor at the opening bell so Lashley gets beaten down by both opponents. We take a break about a minute in and come back with Bennett hitting a cutter for two on Carter. Bennett sends Carter into the corner but punches Lashley by mistake. The hot tag brings in Moose and everything breaks down. Carter grabs a quick rollup to pin Bennett at 8:35.

Rating: D. What the heck was that? Most of this was in the commercial and the ending felt like it was out of nowhere. Carter vs. Lashley and Bennett vs. Moose don’t feel like big matches and that’s a really bad sign for two of the top three matches at the biggest show of the year. Not good here and not a good way to set things up.

Post match Lashley and Carter brawl with wrestlers and referees barely able to hold them back. Cue Billy Corgan to say that’s not how this is going down. Next week we’re starting Bound For Glory early with Team Lashley vs. Team Carter with the winning team getting to pick the stipulations for the title match. Oh and let’s just make it Lethal Lockdown. You know, because THE BIGGEST GIMMICK MATCH TNA HAS SHOULD BE USED TO SET UP ANOTHER MATCH.

Overall Rating: C. This show did its job of helping to build a lot of stuff at Bound For Glory but it’s still not the most interesting stuff in the world. Nothing on the card feels like a must see match and that’s not how you want the biggest show of the year to go. Lashley vs. Carter has been done before and I’m really not excited about seeing them fight again. It’s better than what they’ve done in recent years but this is really not doing much for me right now.

Results

Drew Galloway b. Eddie Edwards via judges’ decision

Aron Rex b. Eli Drake – Revelator

DJZ b. Trevor Lee – ZDT

Ethan Carter III/Moose b. Lashley/Mike Bennett – Rollup to Bennett

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Impact Wrestling – September 15, 2016: They’re Losing Me

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 15, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Things are starting to pick up with just three weeks to go before Bound For Glory. Last week saw more build towards Lashley vs. Ethan Carter III and the announcement of a tournament for the inaugural TNA Grand Championship. Of course none of that matters compared to Final Deletion II. Let’s get to it.

We open with Matt Hardy talking about everything that happened last week in Final Deletion II. Senor Benjamin has been kidnapped and Jeff is badly injured so Matt puts him into the Lake of Reincarnation. Jeff is thrown into the water and comes out as the Immortal Jeff, complete with belt, from 2010. Matt shouts NEVER and throws him back in to have him come back out as the Jeff he’s been in recent weeks. Next up: Matt has to go find Vanguard I. So the big answer to what happened to Jeff last week: eh forget it.

Here’s Lashley for an in ring chat with Jeremy Borash. Lashley says this is going to be the year that he dominates wrestling because no one else in any promotion is as dominant as he is. Since he beat up EC3 last week, he needs an opponent for Bound For Glory. It might as well be JB because it would be just as dominant either way. This brings out Grado, who says JB is a much bigger joke than he’ll ever be. Grado calls Lashley a coward and it’s a quick beatdown capped off by a spear. Another callout brings Moose to the ring and the champ is actually knocked out to the floor. Moose issues what sounds like a challenge.

Aron Rex says Drew Galloway has been handed all kinds of opportunities while he’s had to take everything he can get. Rex promises to see Drew soon.

Lashley says he’ll make Moose famous but not tonight.

Grand Championship Title Tournament First Round: Trevor Lee vs. Aron Rex

Three rounds of three minutes each. They trade headlocks to start until Rex is sent out to the floor. A big boot sets up a chinlock as I keep trying to figure out why they turn the lights down for these matches. Rex fights up with some clotheslines for some last second points to end the round because Heaven forbid Rex goes full speed ahead the full match. Rex somehow wins the first round so Lee forearms him for two to start the second round. That earns him a Russian legsweep and Wind-Up Elbow, followed by a running discus punch to pin Lee at 5:33.

Rating: D+. I still don’t like this concept and this didn’t do it any favors. Ignoring the MMA feel the matches have (why they think wrestling fans want to see MMA still isn’t clear), I don’t like the flurry of offense at the end of the rounds. If they can do that at the sound of the ten second warning (another non-wrestling thing), why can’t they fight up the rest of the time?

Maria is going to hold Gail Kim’s Hall of Fame ceremony tonight so it doesn’t overshadow the Knockouts Title match at Bound For Glory.

Matt finds the destroyed Vanguard I and cries at its death…..but it’s reincarnated as well so never mind.

Here are Allie and Maria to hold Gail’s Hall of Fame induction. Maria is tired of no one talking about her title win because everyone is talking about Gail Kim. We see a highlight video of Maria beating Gail up and Maria does Gail’s speech for her. The official gift is a picture of Maria with the title but Allie has her own present for the best female wrestler ever.

Maria freaks out again and stomps on whatever the present is but here’s Dixie Carter. Dixie says Maria has a conflict of interests and no longer has any authority. Gail never lost the title (yes she did) so she’s going to be in the Knockout gauntlet tonight to crown a new #1 contender.

Braxton Sutter vs. Rockstar Spud

This is an empty arena with all turnbuckles exposed “for the safety of the fans”. Apparently Sutter hit Spud in the face and the injury made him require braces. Spud jumps him on the ramp and the fight is on. Josh: “The arena is empty because there are no fans in it.” It’s not even a match as they just beat each other around the empty arena and throw each other into metal objects. Spud kicks him low and they finally get in the ring with Sutter kicking him low to retaliate. A few whips into the buckle sets up a ram into the buckle to give Sutter the pin at 5:13.

Rating: D. To recap: this show has had a UFC style fight, an empty arena match and Matt Hardy resurrecting a drone. Oh and Gail Kim, who is A WRESTLER. They’re really not making this easy to sit through and Matthews telling me that the arena is empty because there are no fans in it was the icing on all this. Would it kill them to let these two have a regular match and then set up the gimmick version? Ah right: TNA is EVOLVING THE BUSINESS, which means doing stuff that was done in Memphis over thirty years ago and hoping people don’t remember it.

And now, here’s more Matt Hardy, who sends Vanguard I to find Senor Benjamin in a barn. Matt tells Benjamin to stockpile more weapons than ever because a great war is coming at Bound For Glory. THEY’RE ALREADY DOING FINAL DELETION III??????

Recap of last week’s Final Deletion.

Here’s House Hardy (the new name for the group) to challenge Decay. The champs appear in the crowd and say that Maxill deserves a better home. The Hardys are offered their own decay so Jeff promises to delete them for good at Bound For Glory. Fans: “OBSOLETE! OBSOLETE!” Matt wants to fight them in the insanity of the Great War and Rosemary accepts so Maxill can join his real family. The fight is on and House Hardy stands tall.

Mike Bennett tries to get in Lashley’s head about Moose.

Knockouts Gauntlet

This is basically a Royal Rumble with over the top eliminations but it turns into a regular match with pins or submissions when they get down to two. Jade is in at #1 and Allie is in at #2 but Maria says not so fast because she’s found someone better. Instead, a newcomer named Laurel Van Ness (indy wrestler Chelsea Green) is in at #2. Jade kicks away to start until Sienna is in at #3.

We get a double teaming on Jade until Gail Kim is in at #4. The minute intervals continue with Marti Bell coming in at #5. The heels keep control until Raquel is in at #6. There’s almost nothing going on in between these entrances. Madison Rayne rounds out the field at #7 and we’re not even six minutes into the match. I’m sure just a regular battle royal was out of the question.

Back from a break with no eliminations but Madison is knocked out in a hurry. Jade is kicked out as well but stays around at ringside. Marti gets sent over the top and is caught by Jade, who rams her into the post and then drops her to the mat for the elimination. Allie screws up AGAIN and causes Van Ness to be eliminated as well. The referee comes in as we’re down to Sienna vs. Gail. A sunset flip gets two for Gail before Eat Defeat sends her to Bound For Glory at 14:13. The one on one part wasn’t even two minutes long.

Rating: D. Not only is the entire division save for the non-wrestler champion involved in one match but HEY LOOK IT’S GAIL KIM! I still don’t know why I’m supposed to be interested over Gail Kim getting all fired up to fight Maria in what is likely going to be a squash because Maria is barely a wrestler. The division is almost nothing anymore and so much of that is due to Gail being put so far ahead of anyone else. Why should I be interested in anyone when Gail is just going to take the title back a few months later? This isn’t Memphis and Gail isn’t Jerry Lawler but TNA thinks she should get the title as many times.

Grand Championship Title Tournament First Round: Eddie Edwards vs. Mahabali Shera

Neither gets an entrance. Feeling out process to start with Eddie firing off chops and sending Shera to the floor for a suicide dive. Back in and the Boston Knee Party gets two (that move might have set a record for fastest time being turned into nothing) and the first round ends.

Eddie wins the first round in a clean sweep so Shera stomps away in the corner to start round two. Some miscommunication gives us an awkward looking sequence in the corner with Shera just stopping in front of Eddie. An over the shoulder rib breaker gets two on Eddie and Shera throws him into the air for a big crash. They fight over a suplex to end round two, which goes to Shera in a split decision despite Eddie not hitting anything. Eddie is aggressive to start the third round and kicks Shera in the ribs, setting up a half crab for the submission at 8:45.

Rating: C. This actually had some time to set something up but the short time limit and the scoring system is still rubbing me the wrong way. Shera is pretty clearly just there to appeal to the India market but that doesn’t mean he’s a good idea for the American fans. The guy really isn’t interesting and it’s getting worse every week.

Lashley and Moose come to the ring for the closing segment with Lashley offering Moose the title shot at Bound For Glory. Moose seems to agree but doesn’t want to wait that long. Moose beats him up around the ring until Lashley gets in a few shoulders in the corner. Mike Bennett comes out for the double team on Moose but Ethan Carter III runs out for the show closing brawl. Matthews: “EC3 IS BACK!” HE WAS HERE LAST WEEK YOU STUPID STUPID MAN!

Overall Rating: D. This show got a little bit better after Slammiversary but it’s right back to doing the same things that drove me crazy before. Above all else though, it’s the Hardys. A few months ago they did Final Deletion and it was entertaining and different. Then last week they did Final Deletion II and it was a lot of the same stuff with more people involved. Now we’re getting the third one in two and a half weeks and I’m finding it really hard to care about, especially when that’s the top story. Matt and Jeff got more time than anything else tonight, save for maybe the Knockouts match which was all about Gail.

The first half of this show was awful in all kinds of new ways. We had another MMA knockoff match, an empty arena match for whatever stupid reason TNA can come up with this time and more Matt and Jeff zaniness with Matt basically erasing everything that happened last week. More than once tonight I looked at my TV and asked what I was watching. That happens every now and then with most wrestling shows but with TNA it’s every few segments.

I know Corgan is all about new ideas and thinking, but TNA needs to remember that it’s a wrestling company and stop trying all these wacky ideas to force people to care about them again. Yeah Matt being all insane and saying things that people quote online a lot is amusing but it’s rapidly running out of steam. Bound For Glory is coming up in a few weeks and I’m really not looking forward to it. Maybe TNA is passing me by or something but most of the time it’s not entertaining me. They have a talented roster and I like watching their regular matches but those are getting less and less frequent and that’s not good.

Results

Aron Rex b. Trevor Lee – Running discus punch

Braxton Sutter b. Rockstar Spud – Ram into the exposed turnbuckle

Gail Kim won a gauntlet match last eliminating Sienna – Eat Defeat

Eddie Edwards b. Mahabali Shera – Half crab

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – September 8, 2016: We Want Wrestling And Hat Eating Giraffes!

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 8, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We have arrived. Unfortunately it’s not at Bound For Glory or anything that’s going to matter in the long run, but we’ve reached Final Deletion II: This Time It’s REALLY Final. In other words, Decay is going to the Hardy Compound to fight Matt and Jeff in what’s going to be a big mess that you may or may not find highly entertaining. Let’s get to it.

Senor Benjamin and Vanguard I tell us that these segments will be performed by professionals and no animals were harmed in making this.

We see a clip from last week with Reby saying prepare the battlefield.

Senor Benjamin digs graves for Decay as we hear an operatic version of the Obsolete song.

Matt tells Senor Benjamin to prepare the personal zoo for visitation.

Here are Mike Bennett and Maria with something to say. Mike says don’t bite the hand that feeds you, which is what Moose has been doing lately. It was Bennett that brought Moose in and paid him but thanks to a strongly worded text message, Moose has been fired. With him out of the way, Mike can become World Champion like he deserves.

This brings out Dixie Carter of all people to say people are here to watch wrestling. Tell me Dixie: how much time is Final Deletion II getting tonight? Mike says no one appreciates either himself or Maria but he knows Dixie is about to put him in the main event. Dixie says not so fast because Mike will be in a match against, of course, Moose. Mike and Maria wisely run off.

Post break Mike and Maria yell at Dixie, who says Mike is in breach of contract if he doesn’t fight. As a bonus, Maria is no longer in charge of the Knockouts because she has to defend the Knockouts Title against an opponent to be determined next week.

Gail Kim/Jade vs. Allie/Sienna

Sienna and Gail start things off because it’s always Gail first. Allie gets tagged in and is promptly run over by a shoulder to send her outside. Sienna tells Allie to stay out of it because she’s not a wrestler. The fans want Allie but get Sienna’s running splash on Gail instead. The AK47 is broken up but Sienna still won’t tag Allie in. Jade comes in with her kicks and Allie accidentally tags herself in and hits Sienna by mistake. Sienna runs Allie over with the Silencer and Jade gets the pin at 4:38.

Rating: D. This was angle advancement though I’m really not sure where this is going. Allie is being turned face but how do you go from her not being able to do basic stuff properly to being able to fight someone like Sienna? I still don’t care about Gail, Jade or Sienna but that’s the product of forcing our way to Gail vs. Maria despite it being a squash on paper.

Billy Corgan has a major announcement but won’t say what it is.

Back to the Hardy Compound with Matt bringing the rest of the team to his personal zoo. That means a giraffe named George Washington eats a hat and the brothers Hardy fighting a kangaroo named Smoking Joe Frazier. Later, Matt, described as a spot monkey whisperer, talks to monkeys named after members of the X-Division. Then a tiger tells Matt that Decay arrives tonight. I really don’t know what I just saw but it’s giving me flashbacks to Mean Gene and George Steele in the Detroit Zoo so we’ll declare this awesome.

Corgan is in the ring and unveils the Grand Championship, which is replacing the now retired King of the Mountain Title. This brings out Drew Galloway to say he’s 6’5, thirty one years old and has sixteen years experience so how can anyone else be the choice? Corgan says this is the evolution of wrestling and we get a video giving us the rules

3 rounds

3 minutes per round

The match can end at any time but each round is scored on a 10 point system and if no one wins in the nine minute time limit (yes a nine minute time limit), three judges will declare a winner.

There will be an eight man tournament and the first champion will be crowned at Bound For Glory. Galloway says he is this business but here’s Aron Rex to say this started over a title and it’s ending with Drew going back to Scotland in a medical helicopter. Corgan says not so fast because we’ve got a tournament match right now.

Grand Championship Tournament First Round: Braxton Sutter vs. Drew Galloway

The judges are just unnamed people and the lights are down for some reason. Drew gets in a belly to belly and says that’s a ten. A boot to the face gets two for Galloway and he fires off chops in the corner as this is one sided so far. Some right hands have Sutter in more trouble and the first round ends at just over three minutes. The first round goes to Drew 10-9 all around, giving us a 30-27 score.

Sutter gets beaten up for the first minute of the second round before he snaps Drew’s throat across the top rope to take over. A superplex gets two on Galloway and a snap powerslam gets the same. Sutter pounds away as Josh says Drew has given up his back (because this is a UFC match) and the second round ends. The scores go 10-9, 10-9 and 9-10 in Sutter’s favor…..which means the match is even because they’ve won a round each. Sure why not. Drew gets in a piledriver and the Iron Maiden makes Sutter tap at 8:03 (including breaks between rounds).

Rating: D. So to recap, the number of points you get don’t count because it’s based on who wins two rounds? In other words, they’re trying to make this like UFC but want to switch it just enough that it’s not UFC? Ignoring the scoring system (never been a fan in wrestling), this was a bad match with the guys mainly chopping each other and then pounding away like a UFC fight to end the rounds. Oh and again: nine minute time limits. How can that be a good idea?

During the break, Rockstar Spud attacked Sutter.

A guy leaves a liquor store and runs into Rosemary. Sexual innuendo is exchanged and Decay attacks, leaving the guy in the road and stealing the truck. Abyss says he’s heard Cameron is beautiful this time of the year.

We go to a press conference for the main event of Bound For Glory. Corgan, Ethan Carter III and Lashley all come out to their entrance music with the fans/press waving their arms to Ethan’s song. Corgan talks about how this is the kind of match you’re going to remember in twenty years. Carter sees a monster in Lashley but he also sees a coward behind those sunglasses.

Lashley destroyed a division and that’s not cool. They started fighting back in England over Kurt Angle’s broken body (Lashley: “I did that.”) and it ends at Bound For Glory. Lashley talks about being the guy that can defend Impact from other organizations but Carter says he’s beaten everyone and Lashley will be no different. Lashley goes on a rant about everyone he’s hurt and how Carter will be no different (that sounds familiar). A brawl broke out and the “press” just awkwardly watched. This is by far the best thing on the show tonight but that’s just because it’s less insane than the other stuff.

The brawl continued after a break with Lashley throwing Carter out of a door and through some wood.

Video on Jesse Godderz and how excited he is for the Grand Championship tournament.

Grand Championship Tournament First Round: Eli Drake vs. Jesse Godderz

Apparently you get points for aggressiveness, controlling the action and physicality. They trade arm work to start with Godderz working on a chinlock. A dropkick and forearm get two for Jesse and it’s a few armdrags to wrap up the first round. Jesse wins the first round 29-28 with the announcers turning into analysts in between rounds.

Drake hammers away in the corner and gets two off a DDT. A powerslam gets the same but Jesse gets in a forearm, followed by the Adonis Lock. Drake rides out the clock to end the round and it goes to Godderz again. The final round begins with Drake hitting some kind of a powerbomb but getting caught in the Adonis Lock again. An Angle Slam gets two on Eli, only to have him hit Blunt Force Trauma for the quick pin at 9:24 total.

Rating: D+. This was another basic match with a gimmick attached that makes it feel more “real” because that’s what wrestling fans tune in to see on a show featuring a boxing kangaroo. I like Drake and Godderz has grown on me tremendously but there’s nothing you can do when you’re having three mini matches and have to play to some judges who aren’t likely to mean much in this whole tournament.

We recap Galloway and Rex’s issues over the last few weeks.

Rex is kicking stuff over and really doesn’t feel like talking. He’s talked and performed for years but he’s done thinking. So here’s the problem: there’s a good chance these two are going to wind up in the finals of the Grand Championship tournament at Bound For Glory. Ok, cool. Those two fighting for a title is fine. What’s not cool is having this big, violent feud’s first match be in this rigidly timed format with a nine minute time limit. Let them beat the heck out of each other instead of going to a judges’ decision or having to get the match done fast. Think this stuff through.

It’s time for Final Deletion II. Decay goes after Senor Benjamin but he turns a shovel around to show the word DELETE. We cut to Decay arriving at the house, which Rosemary calls home sweet home. They look through the window to see Reby holding Maxill but here’s Matt, who KNEW THEY WOULD COME.

Back from a break and it’s time for the showdown with the Hardys (the three adults) holding up their fireworks. Abyss: “THIS IS NOT BEAUTIFUL!” Hang on because there are going to be a lot of very quick cuts in this thing. The Hardys chase them off with the fireworks and a ladder is knocked over. It’s really hard to see what’s going on here but for some reason fireworks are being shot horizontally at Decay but a camera cut shows them exploding in the air.

Matt sends Reby back to the house as Decay hides behind ye olde dilapidated boat. Abyss tells someone to get to the house and Jeff dropkicks the boat into the water. Cue Senor Benjamin to say Matt needs the boat. Jeff disappears and Benjamin starts pulling the boat but Joseph Park walks out of the water. Park: “Brother Benjamin! I loved you in Final Deletion!” Benjamin tazes Park and puts him in a conveniently placed bulldozer.

It’s off to Steve, who tries to send Jeff face first into a fire inside a big tire. That earns Steve a sitout gorbuster into a pool and they fight underwater. Matt is walking through smoke and calling for Rosemary as Benjamin dumps Park (presumably) into a grave. Jeff chokes Steve out under the water and sits on the side of the pool, only to be pulled back in ala the end of Friday the 13th.

Back to Benjamin who laughs at the grave but Abyss pops out to choke him. Steve and Jeff fight over a pool toy but it’s back to Abyss going after Matt and pulling out Janice. Jeff takes the shot to the ribs for his brother but here’s Vanguard I to launch rockets at Decay. The Hardy symbol in the grass is lit on fire with Steve inside. We cut back to the house where Rosemary has Maxill.

Vanguard I tells her to put him down so she blows mist at the drone to knock it offline. Maxill escaped somewhere in there and here’s Matt to say Rosemary has crossed a line. She mists him but he sucks it into his mouth and spits it back at her. Maxill staggers over to Matt as Reby reappears. The family is reunited but we cut back to Jeff who is laying on the ground in agony. Steve laughs at the fallen Benjamin and a car, I guess containing Decay, leaves to end the show.

So yeah, the Final Deletion is basically Sharknado. It was a lot of fun the first time because it was just so stupid but the second version is really just a bigger budget version where you expect the same stuff over and over again. Other than the random Joseph Park cameo (really funny), this was a lot of the same bits that they did the first time but without the “what am I watching” reactions. I had fun with it and all but I really don’t need to see this again unless they come up with something fresh next time. It also doesn’t help that this set up (in theory) a regular tag match at Bound For Glory. Isn’t that kind of backwards?

Overall Rating: D. Let’s get this one out of the way right now: there was an idea here. This show was an attempt to try a lot of different stuff and not just do the same old ideas that we’ve covered for so many months if not years. I can give them a lot of credit for that attempt but that doesn’t mean it’s something that worked.

The wrestling here was bad and as is so often the case, that’s not on the wrestlers themselves. The tag match was built around Allie not knowing what to do and the other two matches were hamstrung by the time constraints and rules. Unfortunately that’s all the wrestling we had here as the Final Deletion is just an insane segment and not a match by any stretch. I really didn’t care much for this show but it’s an example where they tried to do something different, which you really don’t see often in wrestling. There’s certainly an audience that wants to see this but I don’t know how big it really is.

Results

Jade/Gail Kim b. Sienna/Jade – Silencer to Jade

Drew Galloway b. Braxton Sutter – Iron Maiden

Eli Drake b. Jesse Godderz – Blunt Force Trauma

 

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Impact Wrestling – September 1, 2016: Ghosts Of Final Deletions Gone By

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 1, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

The countdown to Bound For Glory 2016 continues as we have five more weeks before the biggest show of the year. Things have changed a bit coming out of last week as Drew Galloway has turned heel by attacking Aron Rex, likely setting up Rex’s first feud and a Bound For Glory match. Let’s get to it.

We open with Reby (who looks like Matt from behind) and the Hardys playing the piano and singing the Obsolete song. Even Senor Benjamin, Vanguard One and Maxill get in on the sing a long. Maxill’s piano playing give Matt a pre-mo-nition that the battle with Decay will take place here at the Hardy Compound instead of at the Zone of Impact. Matt is worried but Reby has a sword to protect herself and Maxill.

In the arena (and out of that insanity), Mike Bennett and Maria are here for a chat. Mike is here to complete his kingdom of miracles by winning the World Title tonight. He’s so successful because he surrounds himself with people like Maria and Moose, who Mike would like to come down to settle things. Instead here’s Lashley to say he doesn’t have to fake confidence like Bennett does.

Lashley is so confident that he’s willing to let tonight’s title match be No DQ. Bennett thinks Lashley is jealous of Moose and doesn’t believe that they went to dinner last week. The champ says they did go to dinner (Are we on a Disney sitcom?) and maybe Lashley smartened him up a bit. Moose comes out to say he’s let his actions do the talking and tonight he’ll determine who wins the title. Bennett takes that as Moose saying he’ll win but Moose says not so fast before leaving.

Matt Hardy vs. Crazzy Steve

They look at each other to start because both of them are a bit insane. Steve dropkicks the knee out and we hit the chinlock. The fight goes outside with the fans telling Matt to DELETE him. So they want Steve to join Matt’s team? Jeff hits Steve with a boot a few times and the Twist of Fate puts Steve away at 4:20.

Rating: D. I’m very bored with the Hardys anytime they’re just having matches. The gimmick is so insane that it’s entertaining at times and the second Final Deletion (you know that’s coming) should be fun but the actual wrestling is just Matt and Jeff looking old and boring. Steve continues to be more of a character than good but he works well with Abyss so that’s a step up.

Post match Steve gets the mic and says Decay is at the Hardy Compound and Maxill is now Rosemary’s baby.

The X-Division guys try to explain the X-Division and basically say it’s about being fearless. So we can expect Nikki Bella showing up when?

After a break, Matt calls Reby (with his phone actually saying Broken Matt Hardy) but she doesn’t answer. The camera in the Hardy Compound shows Rosemary looking at Maxill.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. DJZ vs. Andrew Everett vs. Mandrews vs. Braxton Sutter vs. Rockstar Spud

The title is vacant coming in and this is a gauntlet match, meaning people are added at fixed intervals but you can pull the title down at any time. Trevor Lee and DJZ start things off and they slug it out for a bit before pulling each other down. Andrew Everett is in third and the time intervals seem to be two and a half minutes. DJZ gets double teamed so the Helms Dynasty (minus Helms showing up lately) goes up at the same time.

A knee to DJZ’s head knocks him silly but here’s Mandrews to break up the title grab attempt. Mandrews gets thrown off the top though and we take a break. Back with a replay package of what we saw before the commercial instead of what we missed. Braxton Sutter entered during the break and here’s Rockstar Spud to complete the field but it’s still too early to get the title with Sutter making the save.

We hit the big streak of dives before people get back in, only to be thrown out or knocked down seconds later. There’s nothing to talk about here as it’s just one move or spot after another with nothing in between. Spud uses a chair to knock Sutter off the cables but it’s the Helms Dynasty going up and grabbing the title at at the same time. No one comes down with it though so DJZ springboards in and pulls the title down to win at 16:23.

Rating: C+. I’m sure this is the revitalization that the X-Division has been needing for years now and that this will be different than the other half dozen times they’ve promised it’s not going to be left by the wayside again. The same problems they always have still apply here: no characters, no storylines other than they all want the title and get thrown together into one match and nothing we haven’t seen before. Fix some of those things and give us an actual story and the division might go somewhere.

Ethan Carter III is talking about his match last week when Eli Drake comes up to challenge him to a match tonight.

Drew Galloway promises an explanation.

We look at Allie accidentally winning the Knockouts Title last week.

Here’s Drew Galloway to explain his actions from last week. Drew says you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. He’s been asking why he stood up for TNA when he first arrived and he’s not sure. When he won the World Title, the celebration went on for a week. Then Ethan Carter http://ambienbuy.net screwed him over three straight times but the fans cheered for him. Then Aron Rex showed up and said the same things he said in his debut but the fans were cheering for him anyway.

Rex wants to be the next Drew Galloway so Drew has to teach him a few things. This brings out Billy Corgan to say Drew’s actions should earn him a suspension without pay but a little bird told him not to do it. Drew accuses Corgan of becoming the establishment and doing everything Dixie Carter tells him. Actually it was Rex who kept Drew from being suspended and here he is for the brawl but security quickly breaks it up. This was good stuff and Rex looked like a star who was on Drew’s level.

Reby answers the phone and Matt says the match tonight was just a setup. She and Maxill will go to the safe room but Vanguard One tells Matt that Rosemary is already there.

Ethan Carter III vs. Eli Drake

Drake is nice enough to spell his name out before they head to the floor with Ethan in control. Back in and Drake takes over with your standard heel offense (I love listening to him talk but his wrestling isn’t great) and escapes the TK3 attempt. A chinlock doesn’t go very far and the second TK3 attempt connects just fine. The 1%er is enough for the pin on Drake at 6:00.

Rating: D+. Not much to this one but there’s nothing wrong with that. This was a main eventer beating a midcarder who got in some offense before losing. That’s a simple booking plan and it works just fine with the big name getting a win over someone with credibility and the midcarder not losing any status because he was fighting a bigger star.

Allie is very excited about her title win and doesn’t mind Maria making her plan her own celebration.

Reby tells Matt to get back here now. Senor Benjamin is holding Maxill.

DJZ celebrates his title win and says he’s ready to defend it.

Here’s Allie for her title celebration. Before she can get anywhere, here are Maria and Sienna to interrupt. Maria sends Sienna to the back and yells at Allie for thinking this is actually about her. Allie screws everything up and couldn’t even get the right color balloons here. This celebration is for Allie’s opponent and Allie needs to lay down right now.

Knockouts Title: Maria Kanellis vs. Allie

Allie lays down and Maria is the new champion in three seconds.

Allie has to fight back tears as she announces Maria as the new champion.

Bennett tries to talk Moose into doing the right thing and hands him a pipe. Moose thinks about it.

Rosemary torments Reby but Senor Benjamin gets Maxill out. Reby tells Benjamin to prepare the field for battle.

TNA World Title: Mike Bennett vs. Lashley

Lashley is defending and this is no DQ. The champ leapfrogs Bennett and does the delayed vertical suplex but here’s Moose to offer a distraction as we take a break. Back with Bennett in control and kicking Lashley in the face. Maria hits Lashley in the head with the cast and the Knockouts Title but Lashley shrugs it off and suplexes Bennett for a breather. A torture rack (good move for Lashley) has Mike in trouble and a spinebuster makes it even worse. Maria breaks up the spear but Moose won’t give Mike the pipe. The distraction allows the spear to connect to retain the title at 10:59.

Rating: C-. This was much more storyline development than an important match, which shouldn’t be the case for a World Title match. Moose turning on Bennett this soon could be interesting but it’s not like they’ve really been a unit long enough to give this much of an impact. Bennett never felt like a threat to the title here and that’s not a good sign.

Post match Bennett yells at Moose and calls him a failed football player. Bennett slaps him in the face so Moose clotheslines Mike’s head off to end the show.

Next week: Decay goes to Cameron. That’s right: FINAL DELETION II!

Overall Rating: D+. I had forgotten how annoying it was to have the show cut back to the Hardy shenanigans every few minutes. It’s not so much the story that gets annoying (though it can) but more the fact that they’ll have something like eight segments (some very short) in two hours. You could stretch this stuff out for weeks but instead we see every few minutes and it’s really easy to get burned out.

The rest of the show was just kind of there. The X-Division Title match was your standard showcase that isn’t likely to lead anywhere, the main event was fine and…..what else really happened here? Rex and Galloway brawled, we had a nothing match between Drake and Carter (it was fine enough) and we have Maria vs. Gail set up in a match that we’ve known was coming for months. I’m not sure why we’re getting it but after all the time they’ve put into it they have to give it to us. This show wasn’t terrible but it got tiresome by the end, mainly due to the constant Hardy segments wearing me down.

Results

Matt Hardy b. Crazzy Steve – Twist of Fate

DJZ b. Mandrews, Rockstar Spud, Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and Braxton Sutter – DJZ pulled down the title

Ethan Carter III b. Eli Drake – 1%er

Maria Kanellis b. Allie – Allie laid down

Lashley b. Mike Bennett – Spear

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Impact Wrestling – August 25, 2016: Bound For Bad Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 25, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re down to six weeks before Bound For Glory and you can start to see some of the card taking shape. Tonight’s main event has World Title implications as we have Ethan Carter III vs. Drew Galloway for the #1 contendership with Aron Rex as the guest referee. It should also be interesting to see where they go with the midcard titles. Let’s get to it.

Ethan Carter III and Drew Galloway meet on the roof of a very tall building with a pool nearby. They sit down for some whiskey and a chat which we’ll probably see later.

We recap Ethan maybe or maybe not causing Drew several World Title matches.

Battle Royal

Robbie E., Jesse Godderz, Eli Drake, Basille Baraka, Baron Dax, Grado, Mahabali Shera, Mike Bennett, Moose, Eddie Edwards

Winner gets a World Title shot and Lashley is on commentary. There are only ten people in an open invitation battle royal for a World Title shot? Josh says this show is being called a turning point. Wait is this Turning Point 2016? Or is that just Josh running his mouth like the goon that he is?

Baraka eliminates Dax to get us down to nine and to make me happy that I don’t have to remember which of those two is which. Moose dumps Shera and we take a break. Back with all eight still in before Baraka gets rid of Robbie. Moose tosses Baraka a few seconds later, followed by Eli getting rid of Grado. Lashley keeps talking about how everyone can just leave now because they’re not winning the title shot. At least he’s sounding cocky like a monster heel should.

Eddie throws Drake out and we’re down to four. Jesse springboards back in to clothesline both heels but Moose tosses him out with ease. So it’s Eddie, Moose and Bennett to go and the double teaming begins, only to have Eddie grab Moose in a hurricanrana but Mike dumps them both out for the win at 17:10.

Rating: D. Well that happened. Bennett was one of the only options to win here and that’s the problem with having ten people in a battle royal. Shouldn’t most of the roster be in this if it’s for a shot at the World Title? Where are all the X-Division guys who were talking about how they wanted to fight Lashley? Matt and Jeff aren’t interested in being World Champion? That’s not the best thinking and it made for a bad battle royal with everyone waiting to get down to the three or so potential winners.

Ethan and Drew down their first whiskey and Ethan asks what they’re talking about. Isn’t that clear based on all of Drew’s talking of late?

After a break, Moose yells at Bennett as Maria tells the camera to get out of here.

Here’s Matt Hardy with the contract for the Tag Team Title shot. The titles are decaying and must be saved by his brilliance. This brings out Jeff who sings/speaks the lyrics to his obsolete theme. Matt isn’t sure why Jeff is here so Jeff mentions wrestling for the creatures. Now it’s Rosemary coming out to say they have the titles and won’t be giving them up. Abyss says the destruction of the Hardys will be beautiful and Crazzy Steve shows up to say about the same. Matt promises revenge for Decay stealing Maxill in his vision and vows to eat all of them. Jeff can fight any of them right now and Abyss volunteers.

Jeff Hardy vs. Abyss

After the break six seconds into the match, we come back to see Abyss in control and Matt telling Jeff to delete him. Instead of taking Abyss to field and something about a Spanish speaking gardener, Jeff forearms him in the head and drops the leg between the legs for two. A Twist of Fate looks to set up the Swanton but Matt says he has to stop being a spot monkey.

Jeff flips Matt off and dives onto Steve, who doesn’t really catch him. Steve comes in and gets clotheslined right back to the floor, allowing Jeff to kick Abyss low and hit him with a chain for two. Abyss better win after that near fall. There’s the chokeslam but Steve mists Abyss by mistake, setting up another Twist of Fate for another two. Matt bites Steve for being in his premonition as the Black Hole Slam puts Jeff away at 11:09.

Rating: D+. Totally overbooked here and the two false finishes were at least one too many. In addition to that (And the stupid break six seconds in. Just come back for the opening bell.), this Matt stuff is annoying. I get that he’s supposed to be all crazy and broken or whatever, but it’s gone so far away from the original idea that it’s just Matt being annoying now instead of being funny or interesting.

Post match Matt says the Decay’s deletion is soon. Jeff, a grasshopper, has many things to learn.

Maria yells at Allie for not knowing that Sienna has a title match as ordered by Billy Corgan. Billy comes in and implies there’s more than one opponent.

Lashley comes up to Mike Bennett, who says he won’t be intimidated. Bennett says Lashley is looking forward to Bound For Glory but needs to be worried about next week.

Knockouts Title: Sienna vs. Marti Bell vs. Madison Rayne vs. Allie vs. Jade

Sienna is defending and Allie tries to help her friend out early on, much to Sienna’s annoyance. Jade and Marti are sent outside as Maria comes out. Marti gets back in and gets stomped down with a stunned look whenever Allie tries something. Maria keeps Madison from getting back in as Sienna yells at Allie for trying to help. Allie actually gets in some offense on Marti before we hit a quick finisher parade. A package piledriver knocks Madison out but Allie accidentally hits Sienna with Marti’s baton. Marti hits Allie with it as well, knocking her right onto Sienna for the pin and the title at 4:28.

Rating: D. Why do I have a feeling that this is a way to get the title on Maria so Gail can take it away from her at Bound For Glory? I only ask because that would be one of the least interesting things they can do and would manage to make four straight Knockouts Champions that mean nothing other than a way to get the title back on Gail. Jade was ignored for Gail, Sienna barely defended the thing and Allie isn’t a wrestler. But you know who is? Gail Kim!

The fans chant for Allie.

Aron Rex guarantees that someone will be bound for glory tonight.

Tyrus is a fixer.

Back on the rooftop, Ethan asks Drew why he’s angry. Drew says it’s because Ethan interfered when Drew specifically asked him not to. Ethan thinks that’s on Drew for just not winning so Drew says he’ll hit extra hard next time. They drink a final toast and shake hands but Drew shoves him into the pool.

Moose is leaving when he runs into Lashley driving away. Lashley suggests that Bennett is pulling his strings and tells him where he’ll be having dinner tonight. Moose nods as Lashley drives away.

It’s time for Fact of Life with the X-Division guys as guests. Drake says whoever thought of that battle royal was a dummy but gets to the question of who has no chance to become the next X-Division Champion. Spud says Sutter won’t be it because he’s just a good story. Sutter points out Spud’s braces so Spud goes on a rant against Mandrews for being short, British and having bad hair. DJZ says he’s going to beat Lashley at some point but Drake cuts him off to hit the dummy button a lot. A brawl breaks out and a string of dives leaves DJZ as the only one standing.

So to recap: Lashley destroyed the X-Division Champion then beat DJZ in the match DJZ wanted. Now there’s going to be a big mess of a match (Ultimate X I’d assume) for the title where one of these goons will come out as champion. Lashley doesn’t lose the title, the new champion will be the best of a bunch of losers with no character, and they probably won’t even have to get a pin to become champion. And people wonder why the X-Division is worthless.

The X-Division Title will be decided in an Ultimate X gauntlet match. So just Ultimate X match after Ultimate X match? Or people being added one at a time and the first person to pull down the title wins? Either way, no pinning involved because that might imply someone gets over the others.

Drew Galloway vs. Ethan Carter III

The winner gets the title shot at Lashley and Aron Rex is guest referee. Feeling out process to start with both guys shoving the other away. A double collision puts them both down and we take a break. Back with Drew being knocked to the floor but stopping a dive with a forearm. A Celtic Cross onto the steps makes things worse for Carter and it’s off to a cravate.

Rex hasn’t been a factor so far, making me think that either he turns on someone or one of the guys (probably Drew) turns on him after counting a clean fall. Ethan gets in a Russian legsweep to send Galloway into the buckle and gets two off a powerbomb out of the corner. Drew gets in a Claymore and a powerbomb of his own for two before they chop it out.

The 1%er is broken up and another Claymore gets two more near falls for Drew. Still nothing from Rex. Carter ramps it up with a super 1%er for two but Galloway muscles him up for a Tombstone. Back up and the Futureshock is countered into a jackknife cover to give Carter the pin at 17:26.

Rating: B-. Nothing spectacular here but the ending was clean, as it should be to send someone to the pay per view main event. Galloway’s fall is an interesting story and sets him up as a potentially big time heel down the line. Carter going to the World Title match makes sense and should make for a good main event but it’s nothing we haven’t seen before.

Post match Drew beats Rex down and sends him into the steps for a heel turn.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling mostly sucked tonight and while this certainly didn’t need to be a “special” (which they only referred to it as once or twice with no special graphics etc.), it did feel like they were starting the build towards Bound For Glory. Unfortunately that means it’s a very hit and miss card as TNA’s creative isn’t the strongest at the moment. It’s a watchable show but this was much more about the future than anything on the card tonight.

Results

Mike Bennett won a battle royal last eliminating Moose and Eddie Edwards

Abyss b. Jeff Hardy – Black Hole Slam

Allie b. Sienna, Marti Bell, Madison Rayne and Jade – Allie fell on Rayne

Ethan Carter III b. Drew Galloway – Jackknife cover

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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