Impact Wrestling
Date: October 31, 2013
Location: Maverik Center, Salt Lake City, Utah
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Tenay

It’s Halloween night and the main story is the TNA World Champion left in a nice car last week, apparently not wanting to sign a contract and taking the title with him. Since this is TNA, you can see the brackets for the tournament being filled out as we speak. I’d assume we’re heading for a champion vs. champion match because that’s what WWE did a few years ago and if WWE can do it, TNA can as well, albeit with more mistakes and stupidity. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of AJ literally driving away from TNA and Dixie with the title in hand to end last week’s show.

Here’s Dixie to open the show, talking about how she served AJ the world up on a plate but he just walked away with his nose in the air. From here on out, AJ is no longer world champion and is just like everyone else that buys replica belts. The title is officially stripped and the car is a present to AJ for all his work.

Therefore, we need a new world champion so we’ll be holding an eight man tournament over the next few weeks for the vacant title. Seven of the entrants are former world champions, so here are James Storm, Samoa Joe, Kurt Angle, Jeff Hardy, Austin Aries, Bobby Roode and Chris Sabin. Everyone gets a video bio of their accomplishments. There’s a spot left so here’s Bully Ray to interrupt.

Before he can say anything though, Dixie announces a gauntlet match for the final tournament spot. Ray gets in the ring and says he’s been forgotten but the fans tell him he tapped out. He blames Earl Hebner and Ken Anderson for the losses, but the lights go out and here comes Anderson. Ken slowly stomps on Ray in the corner as we take a break.

During the break Anderson was taken away by security where Brooke yelled at her. Bully jumps him from behind and whips Anderson with the chain. He yells that Anderson is nothing without the club so stay out of club business.

Garrett Bischoff is asked what he thinks of this and says it’s club business. Knux comes up and says he needs Bischoff’s help in his match tonight.

Tag Titles: Bro Mans vs. James Storm/Gunner

The challengers jump the Bro Mans in the aisle before Gunner sends Robbie into the corner to start the official beating. A splash crushes Robbie and a slingshot suplex gets two. Off to Storm for a double back elbow and a knee drop to give James a two count. Jesse comes in and takes a big chop in the corner to mess with his blood vessels.

Back to Storm who gets two off a back elbow to the jaw followed by Storm getting the same via the Eye of the Storm. Things break down a bit with Gunner being sent out to the floor and Storm backdropping Jesse onto the back of his head. Robbie pulls his partner to the floor to avoid the Last Call before tripping up Storm on a suplex attempt and holding the foot down to give Jesse the pin at 4:15.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but it’s good to have the Bro Mans get a win like this. They’re the kind of team that is going to have to cheat all the time to keep the belts and it’s just going to make the reaction even bigger when they lose the titles. I’m not wild on Storm and Gunner but they’re good enough for stuff like this.

Sting goes in to see Dixie who is willing to lift the ban on Sting getting a world title shot for tonight only. He can be in the gauntlet but has to start first. Sting leaves without saying yes or no.

We get a recap of Abyss returning last week, leading to Bad Influence dressed up as Sherlock Holmes and Watson. They promise to solve the Abyss mystery and unveil the monster tonight.

Norv Fernum vs. Ethan Carter III

Bernum is the guy Carter squashed at BFG and weighs about 104lbs. Carter tosses him around to start before putting on a standing chinlock. Fernum comes back with some flying shoulder blocks but can’t knock Carter down. Norv scores with a missile dropkick but walks into the bulldog driver (which might be called the 1%) for the pin at 3:10.

Rating: D. Yeah it was a squash, but I’m digging Carter’s character. The turnaround from his character in WWE is reminding me of Rick Rude when he jumped to WCW. In the WWF he was a glorified comedy guy but in WCW he was nothing short of a killer. Carter has gone from Derrick Bateman who was nothing to Carter who looks solid in the ring and has a great look. Well done TNA.

Bobby Roode asks the doctor how Angle can be cleared in just a week. He wants Angle checked again.

Bad Influence run into ODB and Eric, with the latter promising a surprise for them later.

Gauntlet Battle Royal

Sting starts out with Kazarian as this is over the top only with two minute time intervals. They start with a WOO off until Sting rams him into some top turnbuckles. A backdrop puts Kaz down and a suplex does the same. Kaz comes back with some shots to the ribs but can’t put him out in the corner. Knux is in at #3 and we take an early break. Back with Eric Young coming out and no eliminations so far. It’s been way more than two minutes since the break so screw the clock I guess.

Eric cleans house on the heels and pounds away in the corner as Sting gets back up. Kaz pulls at the beard to slow Eric down as Taz rips into Utah and all the wives the people around here have (his words not mine). Knux tries to put Eric out but he “pulls some of the pubic hair out” (again Tazz’s words) to escape. Christopher Daniels is #5 and saves Kaz before he even gets to the ring. Daniels comes in and pounds away on Eric as Bad Influence takes over. Sting suplexes both of them down and we take our second break in than eleven minutes since the opening bell.

Back with Manik in at #6. They’re clearly not doing anything during the break as the guys are in virtually the same positions as when the cameras went off. Manik cleans house and saves himself by headscissoring Kaz down. No eliminations so far and the ring fills up even more with Magnus at #7, the last entrant. Magnus cleans house but gets taken down by a cross body from Knux of all people. Manik escapes a pumphandle slam and catches Knux in a hurricanrana for the elimination.

Kaz hits a springboard elbow to eliminate Manik a few seconds later. Tazz says Aces and 8’s suck. Eric goes up but gets crotched down and kicked in the head by Kaz for an elimination. We’re down to Mafia vs. Bad Influence with Sting clotheslining Kaz down before Magnus hits a Snow Plow on Daniels. Sting gets his eyes raked so the double teaming of Magnus can begin, only to have the Mafia come right back with a clothesline to eliminate Kaz. Magnus sneaks up on Kaz and Sting with a double elimination for the win at 19:40. I’m pretty sure there was no extra action during the commercial though.

Rating: C-. This was pretty lame with just seven people and no real need for the match to go this long. Magnus winning the way he did extends his heel turn a bit more which is the right idea, but I can’t picture him winning the tournament to set up an eventual champion vs. champion match.

Angle has been advised to take the night off but will wrestle anyway.

Dixie has a surprise for us later: the Wheel of Dixie.

Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Gail Kim

ODB spears her down to start and pounds away on the champion in the corner. A splash sets up a Bronco Buster attempt but Gail bails to the floor. Gail loads up Eat Defeat on the floor but gets caught in a fallaway slam instead. ODB looks to go after Gail’s enforcer Lei’D Tapa but gets dropkicked into the announce table instead. There’s the Figure Four around the post as Tenay announces Turning Point for free on November 21.

Back in and Gail puts on a headscissor choke, only to have ODB counter into a half crab. Gail gets to the rope but a Thesz Press gets two for ODB. A front suplex out of the corner puts Gail down but Tapa distracts the referee. Gail grabs a rollup and a rope for the retaining pin at 6:25.

Rating: D+. I am so over the Knockouts as a whole. It’s the same five or so girls having the same feuds with the same dull stories (calling them stories is a stretch. It’s more like Knockout A is champion and Knockout B wins a contenders’ match) resolved in the same dull matches. Nothing to see here and ODB continues to get on my nerves.

Bad Influence has solved the mystery of Abyss.

Back from a break with Daniels and Kaz in the ring to explain their findings. With British accents, Daniels and Kaz say they’ve figured out the on again off again monster Abyss. Apparently it’s under the ring, which is certainly not a ripoff of when Santino dressed up like Sherlock Holmes and was told to solve the mystery of the Raw GM and it wound up being under the ring.

It’s a pumpkin under the ring though, which apparently has more brains than the entire Knockouts roster put together. This brings out Eric Young dressed as Joseph Park in a decent imitation. He has no proof that Halloween is a real holiday but it’s the big guy’s favorite holiday. Eric has a message for bad Influence so he punches them both, earning himself a beatdown. Abyss comes out for the save and crushes Bad Influence before helping Young up in the corner.

Here are the world title tournament brackets.

Hardy

Sabin

Roode

Storm

Angle

Aries

Magnus

Joe

As simple as this sounds, the wheel of Dixie will determine what the gimmick is for Sabin vs. Hardy. It’s Full Metal Mayhem, which is basically TLC.

Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Roode

This would be the third Bound For Glory rematch of the night. Roode was inducted into the EGO Hall of Fame to mock Angle, but since Angle declined the induction into the TNA Hall of Fame, the whole thing is kind of worthless now. Angle takes him into the corner to start but Roode bails to the floor to escape the ankle lock. Back in and Roode chops away but gets caught in a belly to belly. Roode bails to the floor again and has to rake Angle’s eyes to break up another suplex.

Back from a break with Roode working on the ribs with an abdominal stretch. Angle escapes and puts on Rolling Germans, getting up to about five of them this time. Roode fights up but has to escape the ankle lock. There’s the Crossface but Kurt tries to grab the ankle lock to counter. Roode rolls back and puts the hold on again, only to have to let go to escape a cradle and get it on for a third time. Angle rolls backwards again and puts on the Angle Slam for two but his shoulder is almost gone.

There’s the ankle lock but Roode rolls through into a cradle for tow. Roode comes back with an AA into a neckbreaker for a close two as this starts getting better. Angle gets the ankle lock again with the grapevine but Roode is too close to the ropes. Roode goes up but Angle runs up the ropes for the big Angle Slam for two. Angle stops moving and the match is stopped at 16:23.

Rating: B. Good match for the most part here until the storyline finish, which was again, THE SAME THING WE SAW AT BFG. Is this company really that creatively bankrupt that they can’t come up with something else? Like Roode dropping him in the fisherman’s suplex and Angle being knocked out that way? ANYTHING else? Good match until the ending though.

Angle is shaking badly to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The show wasn’t bad tonight but it was yet another rehash of Bound For Glory with over half the matches being rematches from the PPV. The tournament will help things out but they need something new to light a fire under this company. Maybe the changes behind the scenes will help out but they rarely have before. Not a bad show this week but nothing that set the world on fire.

Results

Bro Mans b. Gunner/James Storm – Suplex reversal to Storm

Ethan Carter III b. Norv Fernum – Bulldog driver

Magnus won a gauntlet battle royal last elimination Sting and Kazarian

Gail Kim b. ODB – Rollup

Bobby Roode b. Kurt Angle via referee stoppage

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Impact Wrestling
Date: September 5, 2013
Location: Wolstein Center, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Tonight is the second end of the Bound For Glory Series as we’re having a gauntlet match for twenty points so we can have one more match to jump someone into the final four. Also we have Bully Ray vs. Sting, which may or may not be for the title depending on whether you listen to what Hogan says or not. Let’s get to it.

Some of the participants in the BFG Series guarantee that they’ll win the gauntlet match tonight.

Here are the Aces and 8’s to open things up. Ray insists that they’re in total control and that he’s very pleased with his teammates. He hugs the members of the team and stops to tell Tito that the people are all jealous of him. Ray especially loves Anderson and gives him an awkward hug. Tonight the Aces are going to dominate everything.

Knux vs. Chris Sabin

Ray is at ringside and is already distracting Sabin. Sabin’s headlock is easily countered by the powerful Knux so Sabin wants a test of strength. Chris suckers him in and wisely goes after the knee with some dropkicks before wrapping it around the ropes for another dropkick to the knee. Knux easily slams Sabin down and stops Sabin cold with a big boot.

Sabin is catapulted throat first into the bottom rope for two and we hit the neck crank. A belly to back suplex puts Sabin down again and a middle rope legdrop gets two for Knux. Knux misses a running crotch attack into the ropes and hurts his knee again. Sabin hits a missile dropkick so Ray sends in the hammer to Knux, only to have Sabin intercept it and knock Knux silly for the DQ at 6:00.

Rating: C-. This was somewhat better than I was expecting but the ending better be part of a bigger angle. Sabin was world champion about three weeks ago and now he’s losing to Knux? It was a decent big man vs. little man match though this was a nice surprise given what I was expecting.

Post break Velvet Sky yells at Sabin for what he just did but Sabin shouts back at her that it wasn’t his idea. He calms down a bit and Velvet isn’t sure what to do.

Here’s Mickie James with something to say. She talks about being in Cleveland which is home to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but she’s brought her own trophy instead. She should have been at the VMA Awards and defends Miley Cyrus. ODB comes out to say this isn’t country music land and that she wants the Knockouts Title. Mickie says she’s the star and jumps ODB before talking a lot of trash. ODB fights back and rips off Mickie’s top in a nice visual.

Bound For Glory Series: Gauntlet Match

This is for 20 points and all twelve people in the Series are entered. Two people (Hernandez and Jay Bradley) will start and every so often (likely a minute or so) another person will come in. It’s over the top elimination until the final two have a regular match, winner gets twenty points. Before the fighting starts, Bradley talks about someone paying him to eliminate people and offers to split with Hernandez. SuperMex pounds him down and here’s Joseph Park at #3. The intervals are 90 seconds.

Bradley pounds Hernandez down and goes after ark, only to get caught by some shoulder blocks to give Park some momentum. Park is knocked to the apron but Bradley opts to go after SuperMex instead, earning the hard shoulder block that takes him down. Anderson is #4 and now the intervals are at two minutes. The entrances will be based on your standings in the points coming into the match.

Back from a break with AJ Styles and Samoa Joe now in as well but Park is gone. Kazarian comes in at #6 to no reaction. The crowd has been dead all night so far. Anderson goes up top and gets hit with an enziguri to the floor by Joe for an elimination. Kaz suplexes AJ down but AJ pops right back up and knocks Kaz down. Daniels is #8 and hopefully things pick up a bit. Bad Influence goes after AJ before turning their attention to Joe. A double clothesline misses the Samoan and he clotheslines both of them down to take over. Neither guy is eliminated so they put Hernandez out as Jeff Hardy is #9.

We come back from another break with Roode coming in to complete EGO and stomp on everyone in sight. Bradley tries to put AJ out but eliminates himself by mistake. AJ and Kaz go at it but Styles takes his head off with the dropkick. Aries is #11 and things pick up a little bit. Not that anything else happens but at least nothing is happening faster. Magnus is #12 to give us a final grouping of Magnus, Aries, Joe, Daniels, Roode, Kazarian, Styles and Hardy.

Bad Influence teams up to get rid of Joe and Roode dumps Hardy to get us down to six. Magnus dumps Kaz but gets thrown out by Daniels, leaving us with Roode, Daniels, AJ and Aries. Roode and Aries go at it, only to have AJ forearm Aries out. Roode misses a charge and goes out, leaving us with AJ vs. Daniels. AJ hits the flying forearm but can’t hook the Styles Clash. Instead it’s the Pele and a clothesline to put Daniels out, giving AJ the win, 20 points and a spot in the final four at 29:45.

Rating: C-. This falls into the category of long rather than good. Until the last few people in there was WAY too much standing around and it got boring fast. The other problem here is this wasn’t necessary at all since the same result could have been achieved by having AJ win via submission last week. It wasn’t terrible but thirty minutes was WAY too long for an obvious ending like AJ winning.

The final four are AJ, Magnus, Aries and Roode. AJ gets to pick his opponent for the semi-finals next week.

Bully goes off on Anderson for disappointing him and threatens to break a beer bottle over Anderson’s head.

Sting and Rampage give us some exposition to cover up Hogan botching the announcement of Sting vs. Ray tonight.

Gunner/James Storm vs. Garrett Bischoff/Wes Brisco

Non-title. The Aces and 8’s jump the champions on the ramp but Storm throws Garrett into the ring to start. Scratch that as they head back to the floor immediately and the brawling continues with the champions taking over. We finally get going with Gunner and Storm running over Garrett and Storm getting two off a bulldog. A knee drop gets the same but some cheating by Brisco puts Storm in trouble for the first time.

Storm comes right back with a Backstabber to Wes and kicks him away for the tag to Gunner. The Irish Curse gets two on Bischoff as everything breaks down. Gunner catapults Garrett into a DDT from Storm for two but Brisco takes James to the floor and sends him into the post. Brisco brings in a title belt but is instantly caught, allowing Bischoff to pull out a chain to knock Gunner out for the pin at 6:00.

Rating: D. The match was dull but I don’t have much of a problem with the ending. It’s not like there are a ton of teams challenging Gunner and Storm so why not these two lunkheads? I had forgotten who the tag champions were so any feud is better than nothing for them. The match was dull stuff though, much like the rest of the show so far.

AJ picks Austin Aries because Aries was the one guy he didn’t want to lose to. Aries doesn’t make predictions but says he’ll be in the title match at BFG. That leaves Roode vs. Magnus so Roode talks about how EGO’s plan is coming together. Magnus says he’s gotten here on his own with no one throwing appletinis in people’s faces. He has a family though and will go through anyone he has to in order to get to the world title. Good stuff from everyone here.

Bully Ray vs. Sting

Non-title, since Hulk Hogan can’t be trusted on a live mic after 30 years of talking. Ray reminds Sting that this is non-title because of Slammiversary which brings out Hulk himself. Ortiz is banned from ringside and this match is now No DQ. Sting hits a quick Stinger Splash before the bell and throws the champion to the floor as we take our last break.

Back with Sting working over Ray on the floor in the exact same positions as when we left. Sting hits him in the back with a chair before we head inside where Ray gets in chair shots of his own. Ray heads back outside where Taz hands him a box cutter to cut up the mat like he did at Slammiversary. Another chair shot keeps Sting down so Ray can rip up the padding to expose the wood under the mat.

Ray takes too long though and gets caught in a quick Deathlock, drawing out the Aces and the Mafia for the required brawl. They fight to the back as Ray tries the piledriver on the wood. Sting backdrops his way out but Ray blocks the Death Drop, sending Sting to the at. Ray misses a big boot and gets caught in the Scorpion. Anderson is still at ringside and pulls out the hammer but he won’t hand it to Ray, forcing Ray to tap out at 9:48.

Rating: C. This was your standard Sting brawl with a screwy ending. It wasn’t bad but we’ve seen the Mafia vs. the bikers so many times now that it’s almost impossible to get fired up for it anymore. Anderson screwing over Ray furthers the split which is long past due at this point.

Post match Anderson confirms what everyone already knew: he’s got the title shot against Ray next week.

Overall Rating: D+. The show wasn’t bad but it felt entirely unnecessary. Next week is the No Surrender special which doesn’t feel like it needs to exist either. The focus was firmly on the BFG Series and Aces and 8’s, but both of those stories have dragged on for so long that it’s hard to get interested in them anymore. This wasn’t a bad show but it went on forever and got boring quick.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: August 15, 2013
Location: Constant Center, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Tenay

This is another special episode with Hardcore Justice. The main event tonight is Bully Ray vs. Chris Sabin for Sabin’s world title inside a cage. We were also supposed to get the Main Event Mafia vs. Aces and 8’s in a loser (of the fall) leaves town match but it was postponed to next week due to “unforeseen circumstances”, whatever that may mean. The show should be fun tonight so let’s get to it.

Bound For Glory Series: Austin Aries vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Kazarian vs. AJ Styles

This is for 20 points and it’s a ladder match. The clipboard hanging above the ring has a piece of paper with the number 20 on it. Keeping it simple I guess. Kaz goes to the floor to get the first ladder but the other three block him from coming back in. Aries and Kaz fight for the ladder on the ramp with Austin letting go of the ladder to send Kaz to the floor. A top rope ax handle puts Kaz down but AJ knocks Hardy to the floor as well. AJ dives onto Hardy to take him down again and leave Styles as the only man standing.

Kaz gets in a ladder shot to put AJ down before climbing the ladder. Aries comes back in and crotches Kaz against the ladder, leaving Austin vs. Jeff in the ring. Jeff sends him to the floor but AJ pulls the ladder away for a showdown. Hardy tries a quick Twist of Fate but gets shoved off and sent to the announce table on the floor. Kaz comes back in with a slingshot DDT to AJ but has to have a forearm duel with Aries. Styles dropkicks the ladder into the back of Kaz’s head but Aries backdrops AJ to the floor. The company is living up to its name for a change as this has been nonstop action since the bell.

Aries runs interference to stop Jeff and AJ from going up the ladder before sending Kaz head first into the post. Austin tries a climb but gets pulled down by Hardy and Jeff knocks down the other two as well. Jeff and Austin both go up but Kaz and AJ make the save, sending all four guys down as we take a break. Back with Aries going up but being pulled down by Kaz before he gets too far. AJ stops both of them and hits the springboard forearm to send Austin to the ramp. The ladder appears to be bent or broken.

Kaz brings in another ladder to clean house but can’t climb up fast enough. All four guys go up at the same time and AJ gets his fingers on the contract but Aries shakes everything up with a sunset bomb to Hardy. Kaz and AJ are left alone on the ladder and they fight over a suplex off the ladder. Kaz rakes AJ’s eyes to put him down but Styles shoves the ladder over, putting everyone down again.

Aries hits his running dropkick in the corner on Styles and goes up but Hardy makes another save. Styles pulls Aries off the ladder and loads up the Styles Clash but Kaz pulls in a downward spiral on AJ at the same time. Kaz goes up but it’s Jeff making another save. Aries comes out of the corner with a missile dropkick to take them both down and goes up as well, but here are Roode and Daniels for a distraction.

Styles plays Shelton Benjamin by springboarding up to the ladder but Hardy shoves the ladder over, sending both guys to the floor. Roode pulls Hardy down as Daniels distracts the referee but Jeff kicks him off. Daniels slips the appletini to Kaz and Jeff gets blinded, allowing Kaz to get the win at 17:35.

Rating: A-. This was the simple formula of take four guys and let them dive off stuff for fifteen minutes or so. I’m not big on another faction in TNA because they’re already on overload with them, but at least they’re not involved with the other two. The action here was great though and they couldn’t have picked a better opener.

Chris Sabin talks about enjoying watching Team 3D put people through tables. Tonight though, he’s going to be 3-0 against Bully Ray.

Dixie Carter is in the ring with the Main Event Mafia. She talks about Angle being in rehab and how he’ll be there for an indefinite amount of time. Here are the Aces minus Bully before she can get too far into things though. Anderson talks about how the team only has a week to find a replacement. He talks about how Magnus could be leaving and says Magnus used to be the future.

Magnus says they only have a week to find someone new but they might just pull someone out of the audience. Anderson says tonight is the start of a new era for Aces and 8’s and the brawl is on. The Aces beat the Mafia down with ease and stand tall. That’s rather impressive when you have guys like Brisco and Bischoff on one side and a former MMA world champion on another.

Tito Ortiz is here.

Mickie James vs. ODB vs. Gail Kim

This is a hardcore match and not for Mickie’s title. ODB runs them over to start and hits her chest grabbing splashes on both girls in the corner. Mickie pulls her out of the corner but Gail isn’t interested in an alliance. Gail pounds on ODB as Mickie wedges a chair into the corner. ODB is whipped into said chair and the other girls get a stereo two count. Mickie rolls up Gail for two and they slug it out with until Gail is sent to the floor. Kim sends ODB back inside and goes to look for a weapon but gets a knee from Mickie instead.

James finds a kendo stick from somewhere and cracks ODB over the back before choking Gail with it. ODB comes back in and pounds on them with the stick before pulling one of her two bras out of the top to choke both girls with it. Mickie gets in a shot and puts on the figure four around the post as Gail chokes away but they can’t get along again. ODB gets a shot from the flask and sprays Mickie in the face but Gail breaks up the Bam. Another stick shot misses and ODB hits the Bam on Gail on the chair for the pin at 6:48.

Rating: D+. Did you know ODB was uncouth and does stuff that isn’t proper or whatever you call it? Don’t worry if you don’t because TNA will beat it over your head until you get the idea. The match was nothing special and felt more like a WWE style street fight with the really basic weapons and little more.

Sting yells at the Mafia and suggests Aries as a replacement.

Sting pitches Aries a spot in the Mafia but doesn’t get an answer. Aries does seem intrigued though.

Roode says his plan is coming together.

Sting tells the Mafia that Aries said no. Rampage has an idea and will address it in the ring. Joe goes with him and Magnus has an idea for Sting.

We recap Ray vs. Sabin in a nice, comprehensive video. To be fair though there isn’t much to recap.

Ray is on the phone with someone he calls honey and says this hasn’t been a normal relationship. Tonight is about Ray but next week is about the two of them. “I love you too Brooke.”

Here are Jackson and Joe with something to say. Jackson talks about MMA fans calling him a sellout for coming to wrestling. However now that he’s in the Mafia, he feels like he’s in a family. He didn’t come here to get beaten up though, so now he needs to ask an old training partner for his help. Jackson calls out Tito Ortiz and plugs the Bellator PPV several times. Rampage offers Tito the spot on the Mafia team next week but Ray interrupts (to the wrong music) before we can get an answer. Ray says he’d come in there right now if he didn’t have a title match later tonight. Ray threatens them, Ortiz is held back, that’s about it.

Bound For Glory Series: Magnus vs. Samoa Joe vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Bobby Roode

This is a tables match with the first person to drive someone else through a table getting 20 points. Magnus jumps Roode during his entrance and we start fast. They head inside as Joe and Anderson brawl on the floor with no tables brought in yet. Joe throws the first one in before taking Roode down with a powerslam. Anderson tries the rolling senton on Anderson but Magnus makes the save. The Mafia teams up to clean house but both of them try powerbombs through the table at the same time. Anderson and Roode fight out and turn the table over as we get a makeshift tag match.

Everyone heads to the floor and Joe rings the bell on top of Roode’s crotch. Anderson tries a Mic Check off the ramp through a table but Magnus counters into a failed powerbomb bid. A low blow puts the Brit down and Joe rings the bell again. The pairings switch off and Joe hits the Ole kick minus the Ole on Anderson. Back inside Magnus’ powerslam through the table is escaped and he walks into the Roode spinebuster. Everyone is back inside now and the Mafia is in trouble. Joe is whipped into Roode for a clothesline, sending Bobby to the outside.

Joe hits the suicide dive to take Roode out and Anderson gets caught in a bad looking Snow Plow. The table is set again but Anderson takes Magnus down with the Mic Check. Joe comes back in to chop Anderson and loads up the Muscle Buster but Roode moves the table. Roode sends Joe to the floor and puts Magnus on the table, only to get crotched on the top by the Samoan. Cue Kazarian to distract Joe, allowing Daniels to throw the appletini into Magnus’ face. Roode powerbombs Magnus through the table for the 20 points at 10:20.

Rating: C+. This was fun but ran a bit long. The ending being the same as the first one was fine but it didn’t really surprise anyone. I’m not a fan of the 20 points thing here because it sent Kaz and now Roode from the bottom to the top in one night, basically making whole months worthless.

Anderson and Ray get in an argument over Anderson costing Ray the title. Ray doesn’t know if he can win and Anderson says the club is here to help him. Anderson says he isn’t an enemy but Ray says he doesn’t seem like an ally.

Next week it’s Jay Bradley vs. Hernandez vs. Daniels vs. Joseph Park in a 20 point street fight.

TNA World Title: Bully Ray vs. Chris Sabin

In a cage with Sabin defending and if Ray loses, he never gets another shot at the gold. After the big match intros we’re ready to go. I think it’s pin/submission/escape here but the announcers don’t make it clear. Ray scores a quick slam but Sabin pops right back up. Another slam puts Sabin down even harder but he shoves Ray back. There’s a third hard slam but Sabin comes back with some armdrags and a dropkick to send Ray into the corner. Some forearms in the corner set up a delayed dropkick but Ray sends him onto the top rope. The champion comes off with a cross body for two and dropkicks Ray’s leg out.

Sabin goes up but gets crotched and LAUNCHED into the cage with authority. I’m guessing Bully’s authority but it isn’t really clear. Back from a break with Ray in full control and getting two off a big elbow drop. He shouts at Sabin to hit him in the face and the champion does just that, coming out of the corner with forearms to the face. Ray gets caught in a backslide for two but takes Sabin’s head off to regain control. Bully loads up a huge powerbomb but Sabin slips down into a sleeper, only to have Ray ram him into the cage for the break.

Sabin comes out of the corner with a nice tornado DDT but can’t immediately follow up. They slug it out and the champion gets all fired up by chopping Ray down. He actually hits a Death Valley Driver on the big man but doesn’t cover. Sabin takes Ray’s Aces cut off and whips Ray across the back with it, only to get kicked in the face for two. A Samoan drop gets two on Sabin but Ray gets caught while climbing. Sabin tries a rana out of the corner but drops Ray down on his shoulder, sending Ray across the mat, clutching his shoulder and screaming in pain.

Hail Sabin is countered into a suplex and Ray wants the door open. Sabin tries to slide past Ray but gets pulled back in. Ray misses a charge and sends the referee into the cage, knocking him out cold. Sabin hits a missile dropkick on Ray but there’s no referee to count the pin. Anderson slams the cage door against Sabin’s shoulder but Sabin pops right back up. Anderson: “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” Cue the Mafia for the save but Ortiz hits Rampage with the hammer, allowing Ray to kill Sabin with the powerbomb for the pin and the title at 18:08.

Rating: C+. Good cage match here but you knew the swerve was coming. Ortiz turning (was that a turn? I don’t think he was ever a face to begin with) isn’t really a surprise and it was pretty obvious that Ray was walking out with the gold. It’s a good cage match but the lack of any drama really didn’t help much.

Overall Rating: B. This was a really solid show and with the extra matches that are scheduled for next week it would have been even better. If only there was a way to have all the stuff you get on TV plus a bit more, say on a different night of the week to make it feel special…..nah that would never work. Anyway this was the usual good stuff from TNA when they try and have no Hogans dragging them to a grinding halt. The problem I see for TNA though is they pretty much have three stories going: Ray’s ongoing story, the Series and the Mafia vs. the Aces and 8’s. If you don’t like those, you’re out of luck. Good show tonight.

Results

Kazarian b. AJ Styles, Jeff Hardy and Austin Aries – Kazarian pulled down the clipboard

ODB b. Gail Kim and Mickie James – Bam on a chair to Kim

Bobby Roode b. Magnus, Samoa Joe and Mr. Anderson – Roode powerbombed Magnus through a table

Bully Ray b. Chris Sabin – Powerbomb

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Impact Wrestling
Date: July 14, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the first show post Destination X and most importantly it’s the Midsummer Nightmare. The main event is Sting vs. Anderson for the title in Anderson’s first match I believe. He’s also in Immortal now and since they have all the power, I’d bet a lot on Sting getting the title back since that’s what almost always happens: one side gets all the power including the title and then they lose it on the next show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a Bully Ray narrated video about the whole Sting vs. Anderson feud and title match tonight. Hogan comes out in a tuxedo along with Immortal. There are various women with them too. Even Abyss is in most of a tuxedo. Everyone is in a tux here. No Anderson though. There’s a card table in the ring and Bischoff sends the girls away. Eric says they’re here to gamble with some people’s careers, because they can according to Hulk.

Bischoff talks about the party that Anderson threw for himself a few weeks back that no one came to. Tonight Immortal is making up for it though because Anderson is part of the family now. The party tonight is in celebration of Anderson as the world champion. Here comes the champ in a camouflage tuxedo. When I woke up today, I really didn’t think I’d see one of those but I guess you never know what you’re going to see.

Hogan says he and Anderson haven’t seen things eye to eye forever for the most part. However there’s always been the constant of them both wanting to be the best they could possibly be. Hulk calls him champ and formally welcomes him into Immortal. Anderson says this is a gamble to join Immortal but as long as Bischoff and Hogan live up to their promise of him being the top card in the deck, it’s a gamble he’s willing to take.

The lights go out and Sting is at the card table. He says he heard someone say gamble and wanted to join in. Eric accused Sting of being the cancer and that tonight Anderson gets rid of it. Sting asks if Eric wants to bet on that because they have a poker table here. Sting sees himself becoming champion tonight and kicking off his crusade of bringing the company back to Dixie Carter. Didn’t he start that months ago?

Hogan threatens Sting with attacking him and says that Sting is leaving on a stretcher. Sting freaks out and says no a lot. Even Sting is starting to worry about himself. Sting says Hogan is wrong about that because he has a lot of aces in the whole, such as the Network Ace. He recalls that the Network told Hogan and Bischoff that they’re on a short leash with little room for error. Apparently any shenanigans will bring about someone with a bigger bite than Sting’s.

Sting says he has a lot of magic bullet aces. They’re magic because they’ll just appear. He points to the rafters and there are four clowns up there. Eric: “You’re a freak!” Sting: “Why thank you Eric!” Sting says he’s all in tonight (hasn’t he said that before?) and turns over the poker table before leaving. We go to a break with Immortal being confused.

Bound For Glory Series Standings with 8 weeks to go:

Crimson 31

Gunner 21

Devon 21

Matt Morgan 14

AJ Styles 14

James Storm 14

Rob Van Dam 14

Bully Ray 14

Scott Steiner 7

D’Angelo Dinero 0

Bobby Roode 0

Samoa Joe 0

Bound For Glory Series: Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Roode vs. D’Angelo Dinero

No entrances other than the very ending of Joe’s music. Joe jumps Roode to start us off and hammers him down in the corner. Pope heads to the floor and Roode gets crushed in the corner. Pope stays on the floor as Roode makes a comeback with the spinebuster. His arm gives out though and Pope comes back in, hitting an STO for two. With Joe down Pope takes over on Roode, working over the arm.

The fans are behind Bobby here. Pope gets a DDT for two but Hebner looked like he counted REALLY slow on the three. Middle rope fist gets two for Pope. Joe finally starts getting back in but Pope knocks him right back. DDE misses and Roode fires off some clotheslines. Russian legsweep puts Pope down and Joe is knocked back to the floor again. Blockbuster hits for a close two.

We finally get everyone in the ring at once and Roode gets a Perfectplex on Joe for two. Joe gets the Clutch but we get the Austin vs. Hart at Survivor Series 96 ending as Roode climbs the ropes and goes backwards onto Joe for the pin at 5:55. Roode was tapping just after the three. Joe freaks out on the referee post match.

Rating: C+. Not bad here and the idea of keeping Joe out worked well enough I guess. Not much of a match otherwise but for a six minute TV triple threat it was fine. They didn’t go fully into the standard procedure for one of these matches which is a perk and it’s good to see one of them getting somewhere in this series. Also you can probably expect Joe to just start ending people with submissions soon.

The Jarretts are here.

Hogan wants Sting eliminated tonight. He’s talking to all of Immortal rather than just Anderson. Eric implies staging an accident which Abyss kind of volunteers for. Eric blasts Abyss for losing the X Title and says get this done someone. Abyss leaves and the Jarretts are here. They have presents for everyone but Hogan gets the AAA World Title. No mention of the company name that I could hear.

Pope is with D-Von’s kids and D-Von says stay away from them. The kids leave and D-Von yells at Pope. Pope says they look up to him and D-Von calls him a con man. D-Von calls Pope stupid for giving up the seven points. Pope says if the kids turn their backs on D-Von, that’s not his fault and he leaves.

Highlight package from Destination X with highlights from every match.

Austin Aries vs. Shannon Moore

Shannon gets some arm drags very fast to start us off. Apparently the X-Division has their own locker room. Basic X-Division style match here which is fast paced with some nice speed stuff. Aries can’t get control or deal with Moore’s speed but finally gets a forearm to the back. Brainbuster is blocked and Aries mostly skins the cat back in through the top and middle ropes.

He gets dropkicked to the floor though and Moore hits a dive to take him down. Something similar to a Whisper in the Wind gets two. Aries grabs the Book of Dilligaf but gets it taken away. He keeps the chain though and after knocking Moore out, a slingshot spinning splash ends this at 3:42. Shelley runs out to yell at Aries post match.

Rating: C. Not bad and just a basic debut for Aries who needed a win to establish himself on the roster. Things got a bit sloppy here but they fit in a lot of stuff in a short amount of time so it’s hard to complain. Aries will likely get a lot more time soon and that’ll help him a lot, even though he’s rather skilled already.

Abyss wants his title back tonight. He turns to leave and one of the clowns from earlier blasts him with a bat.

Shelley and Moore complain about Aries cheating.

Aries says he’s the best and that he doesn’t think he can be beaten.

Recap of Tara vs. Madison and their feud that has barely meant anything in like a month. Both chicks talk about their match tonight and Tara has a gift for Madison but it’s for after the match.

The match is after a break.

Ad for Bound For Glory which will be in Philadelphia.

Steiner shows off for one of the girls from earlier and gets jumped by a clown as well.

Madison Rayne vs. Tara

Tara has the gift for Madison but it’s for after the match remember. Madison wants Tara to lay down like before. Tara takes over to start and hits her standing moonsault. There’s the spinning side slam and this is looking like a squash. No cover though and the Widow’s Peak is countered. Tara gets sent to the apron and dropped face first onto it. So much for the squash. Tara is sent into the steps and Madison goes for the present. And it’s a spider. Madison screams at it and the distraction allows Tara to get up and hit the Widow’s Peak for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: D. Seriously, who cares? This feud started what, last year? Who in the world cares at this point about these two and whatever issue they have? The Knockout Division is dying for capable wrestlers at this point and all we can get is Angelina Love being all creepy and these two talking about a spider? Such a shame. Nothing match here too which was all about setting up the spider thing.

Tara chases her off with the spider post match.

Angle is coming to the ring.

The Brits are mad at Mexican America. Tonight they fight for the #1 contender spot. About time Beer Money defended the belts.

Here’s Kurt, who says he has his title shot at Hardcore Justice. He’d prefer to face Anderson due to their history together. He remembers the cage match and thought there was some respect there, until Anderson joined Immortal. Title match or not, Angle is coming for Anderson. As for Sting, they have history also in the form of the Main Event Mafia and the empty arena match. Angle has never beaten Sting before (yes he has) and that doesn’t sit well with him. He’s leaving Hardcore Justice as the champion, and it’s real.

The Jarretts try to leave and a clown jumps Jeff in the car and takes him away with the bat to Jeff’s throat.

Mexican America vs. British Invasion

This is for the #1 contendership. I wouldn’t have guessed this but Beer Money’s current reign is the longest reign in the history of the TNA tag titles. The Mexicans say their usual stuff pre-match. The Brits storm the ring and we’re ready to go. Williams dives out of the ring onto Hernandez and it’s Magnus vs. Anarquia to start us off. Off to Williams who gets caught by Hernandez off a blind tag.

Shoulder block sets up a backbreaker submission into a regular backbreaker for two. Mexican America takes over as we talk about the clowns taking Immortal out. More double teaming keeps Williams down but he manages to get a middle rope European uppercut to bring in Magnus. Williams is bleeding a bit from his head. Magnus takes over and beats up both guys. Anarquia gets double teamed and a top rope elbow gets two for Magnus. Their top rope European uppercut hits but Rosita comes out for the distraction, allowing Hernandez to drill Magnus and let Anarquia pin him at 6:43.

Rating: C. Just a tag match here and thankfully we finally have some challengers for Beer Money. The girl coming out at the end worked fine as it was what the Brits were worried about in the first place. Not bad, but just a tag match for the most part here. Also it gives the Mexicans something to do.

Eric says it’s up to Gunner and Ray to take Sting down. Gunner wants to go find the clowns and Sting instead of just waiting around. Ray stays behind though.

Video of Kendrick winning the title on Sunday.

Kendrick defends next week. Also Mickie defends against Velvet and there will be a four way ladder match in the BFG series.

Main event is next.

Gunner has a pipe and is looking for the clowns and here they come, pounding their bats on the ground like a revival of West Side Story. They surround him and take him down with a shot to the knee. The clowns beat him down and he’s outmatches. They take their masks off band it’s Fourtune. They say Ray is already taken care of.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Sting

Anderson has the mic in hand but doesn’t say anything this week. Pretty slow start as they’re feeling each other out. Sting gets a solid dropkick to send Anderson to the floor. Back in Anderson can’t get a sunset flip so Sting punches him in the face. Stinger Splash hits but a second one misses as Anderson dropkicks the knee. Anderson works on the knee and tries the Scorpion on him.

That doesn’t last long and Anderson works on the leg a bit more. There’s a half crab which is more like a half Liontamer. Sting kicks him off and does a good job of selling the knee. He manages to hit the Mic Check for a close two. There’s your required ref bump and Sting gets the Scorpion which looks awful here. Anderson taps but there’s no ref. Here’s Bully Ray who Fourtune said was taken care of.

He hammers Sting and pulls out a chain. The lights go out and there’s another clown in the ring. He takes out Ray and looks at Anderson but the lights go out again. When they come back Anderson is alone in the ring and the clown is on the ramp. Sting pops up and the Death Drop gives Sting the title back at 9:11.

Rating: C+. I liked this actually. It’s probably their best match ever which isn’t saying much given their pretty weak efforts a lot of the time. The ending with the clown was kind of overbooked but they tried and made a decent effort out there. Not sure what the point was in giving Anderson the title for a month but it’s whatever I guess.

Angle was the clown. The reveal ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Well it was a bit down from previous weeks but this certainly was better than I was expecting. I’m not a fan of a lot of the stories they have going on, but there was a nice pacing to the show and the stories make sense for the most part. Nice to see Fourtune back into things as a unit again so it’s not Sting vs. the whole Immortal team. Not a great show but it’s definitely not bad. I’d call this a nice surprise.

Results

Bobby Roode b. Samoa Joe and D’Angelo Dinero – Roode pinned Joe while in the Koquina Clutch

Austin Aries b. Shannon Moore – Slingshot spinning splash

Tara b. Madison Rayne – Widow’s Peak

Mexican America b. British Invasion – Anarquia pinned Magnus after a forearm from Hernandez

Sting b. Mr. Anderson – Scorpion Death Drop

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It’s another old one so I apologize in advance for this being awful.

Great American Bash 1995
Date: June 18, 1995
Location: Hara Arena, Dayton, Ohio
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

Well it’s been awhile hasn’t it? More or less it’s the same thing here as Hogan is off doing whatever so the main event is Flair vs. Savage to avenge the ending of the last PPV. Other than that there’s not a ton here to work with which isn’t out of the ordinary for WCW. The midcard looks awful but the opener could be decent. Arn Anderson vs. Renegade though is a scary idea and I have a terrible feeling I know where this is going. Let’s get this over with.

Apparently there was a US Title Tournament and the finals are tonight. Ok then. Apparently Vader had it stripped from him. Ok then. Heenan’s glasses are interesting looking. It’s Father’s Day which works for the Poffo thing. He passed away recently so this is a big sad. And Vader wants Hogan.

Alex Wright vs. Brian Pillman

As my mom used to say, they’re both good guys but they’re just wrestling to see who’s better. Sometimes you need a mark’s perspective to really get the gist of a match. Pillman is a ladies man or something here. His theme would suggest that I guess. This should be decent if nothing else. Heenan is having microphone issues. Wright gets a decent pop actually. I’ve always liked his music.

Yeah we can’t hear Heenan at all but it’s clear he’s talking as Tony defers to him and we get silence. Ah there he is, insulting both guys. I love that. He’s good for that if nothing else. Bobby is hilarious, plain and simple. The Bengals would have been a lot better if they had traded Pillman apparently. That’s just awesome. Wow Brian is crisp out there. It’s a shame he screwed up his ankle as badly as he did.

Craig Pittman is apparently wrestling twice tonight and that’s never been done. WOW. The crowd is small here but it’s a hot one so that’s a perk. They’re doing a technical style here. Yeah I’m stunned too. Wright was someone they were pushing hard at this point but the same could be said about Pillman as he’s always awesome. This has been solid so far.

WCW in this era didn’t get much right but they got openers right, normally with Pillman in them. They’re out there wrestling. It’s nice to see for a change. Pillman takes us to the floor and the fans are liking it. Now it’s more of a fight. I like the transition there. Pillman was about to turn heel in case you were wondering. Heenan is sober tonight so that’s an upgrade for him. Ok we get it: the crowd is here. Stop showing them.

In a nice looking spot, Pillman gets suplexed over the top and to the floor. I like it. That should be a DQ under WCW rules but they let it slide since Wright wasn’t in the ring. See why that rule is stupid? Pillman hits a Suicide Dive to the floor. Remember that was a far bigger spot back in the day. Both are down on the floor now. Ok scratch that and reverse it. Wright misses a cross body from the top. I’m liking this.

When they both try a dropkick and both miss, why do they stay down? It’s the same landing for both of them, so why are they down now? Wright hits the cross body this time for two which is apparently his finisher. And Pillman has a bad knee. Ah he was faking. No wonder he was in the Hart Foundation.

German suplex gets two for Wright. Oh come on this is pro wrestling. We need our stereotypes! Pillman goes for a crucifix into a sunset flip but Wright ducks down and gets the clean pin! Nice ending!

Rating: B+. Excellent choice for an opener here as they let two young guys (Pillman was 33 but like he was ever old a day in his life) go out there and show off. That’s how you open a show and it worked like a charm here. I really liked this but then again I like both guys to a certain extent. Something tells me this is the highlight of the show though, but still it’s good stuff.

We recap DDP vs. Dave Sullivan who are feuding over Kimberly and Dave’s pet rabbit. DDP says he’s the best arm wrestler in the world. I’m in awe that this guy became the biggest face in the company. I truly am. If anyone beats him at arm wrestling they get a date with Kimberly, who is known at the Diamond Doll at this point. Van Hammer had him beaten but Maxx Muscle, DDP’s bodyguard made the save. This is taking WAY too long. Remember this is all recap.

Dave Sullivan has his rabbit named Ralph in it. Oh dear. He’s reminding me of Eugene. Not the entertaining Eugene, but the annoying one.

Arm Wrestling: Dave Sullivan vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Ah and Kevin Sullivan is now the Taskmaster. At least we’re getting to the better angle. How in the world is that the better angle? That’s a sad thing to say isn’t it? If you’ve seen any arm wrestling match in wrestling history you can figure this out. Oh and Page is rich here. Yeah it means nothing but I’m trying to fill in time.

Dave of course is in full wrestling gear and wins it. The cheating doesn’t work and this is idiotic. Yeah Kimberly made sure Page lost. The video shows this and of course the announcers can’t figure this out. Page wants a rematch. He doesn’t get one but he whines a lot. No rating, as this was the biggest waste of time I can remember in a good while, and in mid 90s WCW, that’s saying A LOT.

Heenan points out how stupid this is.

We hear about Craig Pittman saying he’ll fight as many times as it’s going to take to win. He won on the pregame show, so he’s doing it again here. His opponent, Marcus Bagwell, is hurt, so he gets Jim Duggan instead.

Craig Pittman vs. Jim Duggan

In case you’re wondering for no apparent reason, Pittman beat former TNA guy, Scott D’Amore. Pittman was…well he was very annoying and a heel here. Why in the world is this on PPV? They shout at each other and do nothing but bad punching. I hate this show already. Duggan screws up a hiptoss. That’s HARD to do. I want to hit this match in the face. Heenan says Duggan has cauliflower face in an amusing ling.

Pittman is a former Marine that knows a lot of submissions. Good to know. They’re rolling around on the mat like an ECW catfight. OK WE GET IT: THERE IS A CROWD HERE! Pittman is working on the knee. From what I’ve seen online, Bagwell isn’t here due to exploding calf implants. Ok then. Hey let’s talk about Flair and Savage! Ok we’re done talking about it now. Yeah that’s what kind of show we’re dealing with here.

More leg work from Pittman. He dives through the ropes to the floor. Apparently Duggan pushed him. It’s not like we need to have Duggan move or anything to do that but whatever. Duggan SELLS THE KNEE! I’m so proud! And after the leg work for five minutes, let’s go for an armbar. WOW.

He gets a cross armbreaker on and won’t let go until the DQ. So let me get this straight. A guy that allegedly knows how to fight and is a submission master used five minutes of leg work to set up an armbar? I hate this freaking company. What’s on the other show right now? In WWF Mabel would be winning the KOTR. GO BACK TO THE ARMBAR!!!

Rating: F. This was awful to say the least. Seriously, would you THINK in a match you morons? Duggan was the smart guy in this match. That sums the whole thing up very well I’d say.

The Bluebloods, Steven (William) Regal and Bobby Eaton are fighting the Nasty Boys later. Oh dear. Oh dear indeed. We get Hitler references from Regal. That sums up everything pretty well. I have a BAD feeling about this match.

Harlem Heat vs. Bunkhouse Buck/Dick Slater

Oh dear just shoot me now. These two got in a fight on the pregame show so we get this as a treat. Harlem Heat beat the Fantastics on the preshow for you old school fans. That’s the highlight of this I guarantee you. Oh and Parker and Sherri start hitting on each other. This is a bonus match? Why do I have a feeling this is a great example of what addition by subtraction would be like? Sherri needs to wear leather more often. She actually looks pretty good in it.

Ok so we have four guys and one with talent. Good to know. Apparently this is a thing about the tag titles. Why am I trying to make sense of this? Slater is a guy that I’ve never been able to stand. He looks like an idiot and he’s the epitome of the southern guy that is allegedly good at being tough but couldn’t work a good match if his life depended on it. Stevie is wearing a t-shirt so I’d bet on some form of an injury.

The crowd is rather dead here but not quite. There’s the Spinarooni, but it’s nothing of note yet. I have no desire to watch this match in case you can’t tell. This team right here is the best example I can give you of why WCW never could be taken seriously for the longest time: no matter what they did or what direction they were going in, they had to have a hillbilly team in there that were tough.

This is one of the sloppiest brawls I’ve ever seen. Heenan points out that the fans don’t seem to care who wins. NICE ONE BOBBY. Now get this for the ending. Booker hooks a small package on Buck. Fine right? Parker, the heel manager, rolls it over. The referee is distracted for 5 seconds so Sherri rolls it BACK over. That gets three after another 5 seconds. In other words, this was a 15 second long small package. That sums up this match pretty well.

Rating: D-. I hated this. It was just boring as all goodness, it served NO purpose and the ending was awful. Why did those two keep getting hired? This was just awful all around. So of course we would have a rematch at Fall Brawl that was somehow worse.

We recap Vader coming out earlier in the night and beating up the 60 some odd year old Nick Bockwinkle while dropping a bunch of expletive bombs. Hogan of course comes out to save it. Back live now and Bockwinkle makes the main event for…that show that’s coming up next. Yes, he forgot the name of the next PPV on live air.

That got him fired actually. Heaven forbid a man in his mid 60s can’t remember some PPV that hasn’t happened yet that he’s not at. Oh no, he forgot something! Give me a break. Oh he made Hogan vs. Vader in a cage.

Flair, ROCKING the black robe, talks about Hogan and Vader. Because everyone has to talk about Hogan right? Ah good he’s talking about Savage more. That’s better. Gene: Either Savage is furious or he’s smoking a big cigar because there’s smoke coming out from under that door. WOW I just cracked up at that. We get a reference to 92 and the Liz angle without saying it of course. We need less of that in TNA. It can happen, but focus on what’s going on in YOUR company, not what happened in others.

TV Title: Renegade vs. Arn Anderson

This could be painful. Remember that Renegade is the guy that literally was hired by WCW to run around really fast and make people possibly believe he was Warrior. He was somehow worse than Warrior in the ring though. What does that tell you? Anderson is Anderson so there you are. That Horsemen theme is soothing to say the least though. Literally it just calmed me down. Simply put, Anderson is above this nonsense.

This guy looks like Warrior to an extent. That’s all we’ve got. And of course Anderson can’t hurt him. One of the greatest wrestlers in the world is having to no sell for a bad imitation of a guy Hogan had to carry. What does that tell you? The paint comes off Renegade’s face and now ANYONE that can see could tell that’s not Warrior. Remember, he makes Warrior look good in the ring. For no apparent reason we have a DDP chant.

Even Renegade’s HEADLOCKS are awful looking. That’s saying a lot. Just remember, WE HAVE A CROWD! Arn busts out an enziguri and Renegade no sells it. Ok, there’s being tough and then there’s being stupid. A KICK TO THE FREAKING HEAD IS GOING TO HURT! Even Goldberg would sell that a bit and he’s freaking GOLDBERG. How about a sleeper? Nope that’s not going to work either.

It should be noted that every hold Anderson uses Renegade counters into one of his own so he’s not even original here. Anderson looks seriously ticked and I can’t blame him a bit. Should be noted that Renegade is getting VERY little reaction and that’s being nice. Ok, now this is where you can tell the whole thing isn’t working. Arn hits the spinebuster, his FINISHING MOVE, and the crowd freaking ERUPTS.

Again, let me make this clear: one of the top heels in the company just hit his finishing move to one of the top faces and the crowd is VERY HAPPY about it. WCW, is it possible, just POSSIBLE, THAT YOU ARE IDIOTS??? He keeps kicking out and Arn is MAD. And now they hit heads so they’re both down. So a jumping foot from Arn doesn’t work as well as his head. Got it.

A bad top rope splash gives Renegade the title. I hate my life. AND HE GETS PYRO. Are you kidding me? SERIOUSLY??? And the Giant is in the front row and is ticked. Giant is more commonly known as Big Show mind you. Renegade does the look at his hands crap that Warrior did. I’m hating this company more than I thought was humanly possible.

Rating: F. No. Seriously, LISTEN TO THE FREAKING AUDIENCE! Again, a Hogan idea doesn’t work the way he wants it to so he just goes on with it anyway. And people wonder why this company bombed for so many years. I’m stunned. Actually I’m not but whatever. This was so stupid that it’s not even bad. The crowd was cheering for the heel because of how stupid the face was. That’s saying a lot.

The Nastys and Blue Bloods don’t like each other. Again, why are these teams on PPV? Well at least it’s not Harlem Heat vs. the Nastys. They just interfered in it. No real angle. The Blue Bloods just think they should be champions. The Nastys say their usual stuff.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Blue Bloods

Something tells me this is going to be bad. We have good wrestlers on the heel team though so that’s good. The Nastys hit the heels with their jackets to start us off. Bobby Eaton and Regal are having their faces rubbed into the armpits of the Nasty Boys. They’re above this. And three of these guys are still active wrestlers today. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I’m not sure really.

There’s no real semblance of a match going on here. It’s just a brawl. I guess you can call this a brawl. They’ve been in the ring all of a minute and we’re about 7 minutes into this. Thank you Regal for trying to make this watchable. And of course Brian Knobbs gets to beat both heels up on his own. I don’t think the Nastys have done anything but punch all match long. AGAIN WITH THE STUPID CROWD!

WCW seems more obsessed with Vince was than making sure to let us know there are actual PEOPLE in the arena. When Sags is the best wrestler on your team, that’s a very bad sign. Sags is in trouble now so he and Knobbs have just switched places. Seriously, what is Nasty about these guys? I’ve never gotten that. There appears to be a large man in the front row in boxers. Sure why not.

In case you can’t tell, this is a rather boring match. Naturally it’s the second longest match on the card. Why would Flair and Savage need more time? We’ve got NASTY BOYS! Another wide shot and I still don’t care at all. We talk about the history of the Great American Bash to kill some time.

Oh and there will be 100,000 people at Bash at the Beach (remember it was free to get into). Yeah sure there will be. Harlem Heat and Sherri are here for no apparent reason to beat up the Nastys and of course it causes them to keep their belts. Yep there’s your ending. I really hate this company.

Rating: D-. And that’s out of sympathy for Regal and Eaton who were clearly trying to make SOMETHING out of this. However, the Nastys suck. They just simply do. There’s no way around it. The Nasty Boys are terrible in the ring and they were here. When you can make Eaton and Regal look bad, that’s impressive. It truly is.

So there was a tournament to have a new US Champion. Apparently there were 16 people and it’s down to Sting vs. Meng. Also in it were Brian Pillman, Bunkhouse Buck, Arn Anderson, Steve Austin, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Marcus Bagwell, Paul Orndorff, Johnny B. Badd, Randy Savage, Butcher, Big Bubba, Alex Wright, Ric Flair and the Patriot.

They list off all the matches but that’s all you need to know as the brackets aren’t shown. We did get Savage vs. Austin though which is a good match as you would expect. Savage vs. Flair was a semi-final but they had a double DQ so this, the other semi-final, is now the final. Complicated enough so it’s perfect for WCW.

Colonel Parker, Meng’s manager, says he doesn’t like the north so he wants something to go home with. This takes forever to say of course.

There might be 150,000 people at Bash at the Beach. We get a promo for it. I don’t think it hit 10,000.

Sting says he’s not afraid of Meng and he’s been here a long time. See, that took 30 seconds. LEARN TO DO THAT PEOPLE!

US Title: Sting vs. Meng

Around this time, Sting was the most over wrestler in the world and was wrestling solid matches so of course they stuck him in the midcard and had him in random angles in the main event without ever wrestling in it. My guess: to prevent Hogan from looking weak by comparison. You can see the fans wake up for him. The guy is just universally loved…so Russo has been obsessed with turning him heel over the years.

It hasn’t worked yet but this one is too early to say so I’ll let it slide. Again, notice that guys that play directly to the crowd, in this case yelling at them, get bigger reactions that anyone on the roster. See, the key difference between Sting and Hogan: both could get EPIC responses, but Sting could work very solid matches and in more than one style. Hogan was as formula based as Flair and that’s saying a lot.

Sting could work a lot of styles and could work for LONG periods of time. Meng is supposed to be a martial arts master here so his offense is considered great. It’s really weak but it goes to show you what the simple act of talking about how awesome someone is can do for you. It also shows the power the announcers have. They’re talking like they’re scared of Meng so his incredibly weak offense seems more impressive than it actually is. That’s what commentators can do.

Yeah Meng isn’t that good. The hand gyrations from Meng are funny for some reason. Sting gets in some weird offense including a flying fat smash to the face of Meng from the second rope. Yeah it’s weirder than it sounds but it looked ok I guess. It’s impressive to see and hear the crowd change so much depending on how Sting is doing. That says a lot about him. Yes I’m a big Sting fan.

We’re on the floor now and Meng is in trouble. Parker gets beaten up too so this isn’t a total loss. Meng headbutts the post. The Scorpion is put on and Meng doesn’t tap. The hold is broken and the fans go quiet. Sting goes to some of his high risk stuff…and then wins with a jumping DDT?  Wait what?? I’ve never seen him win with that before and I haven’t since. It came out of freaking nowhere.

Something makes me think they had to switch something up in there, maybe due to a missed spot or an injury. Sting was always supposed to win, don’t get me wrong, but the ending was too weird to be what was planned. Actually maybe it was. This is WCW in 1995 after all.

Rating: D+. Pretty weak and formula based stuff here. Sting was over beyond belief and had to win it though. I guess they figured going with Sting was the best bet and it clearly was. This wasn’t much but it did its job fine I suppose. If nothing else we have a champion again and he’s over.

Some guy has won a sweepstakes and is in the front row. Ok then.

We recap Flair vs. Savage which is just them hating each other and Flair beat up Savage’s father. It resulted in Hogan pinning Flair. I know. Such inventive ideas! Flair beat up Savage’s dad to end Slamboree and no one cared. That set up this with Savage now going crazy.

Ever notice these more talented guys have tendencies to act like crazy men in Hogan run companies? Couldn’t be Hogan trying to make them look stupid or weak could it? You might notice it didn’t happen in WWF when Hogan was in charge. Yes I can’t stand Hogan’s methods of running companies. He ruined Flair in WCW and Savage was booked as a crazy man there.

Savage says congratulations to Renegade. Now that Hogan’s idea has been praised, he doesn’t like Flair and says it really quietly as he is known to do. I love his insane promos if nothing else.

Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage

It’s a bad sign that they have to point out that this is the main event. It couldn’t have anything to do with the idea that the world champion should be wrestling but isn’t here could it? Wow I really am bitter here. Well the show has sucked and we had to sit through more clips of Hogan making Flair look weak which ticks me off as he does it everywhere so there we go.

Angelo Poffo, Randy’s father, is here with him. That’s ok since it’s Father’s Day. The fans are into it if nothing else. That double axehandle stays sweet. It always has been and it always will be. It’s mostly Flair to start which is odd. Savage comes back and gets no real reaction. And let’s talk about the NBA. Why? Who knows? Let’s do it anyway!

It’s so sad that Flair is now the same old man that is more or less worthless anymore that Poffo is here. I hate to say it but it’s true. Flair works the knee of course so there we are. Savage tries to punch from his back. Ok then. Figure Four is on and Angelo is crying. Brain talks about how the crowd is all watching this. You guessed it: SHOW THE CROWD!!! This has been ok at least and by far the second best match of the night.

The lack of title is hurting it but I can live with that here. Savage is making his comeback. The fans are into this. I’ll say this: the crowd hasn’t been dead tonight. They’ve been confused but they’ve been hot all night. Savage gets the elbow and picks Flair up. He had the clean pin and pulls him up. Something tells me this is stupid.

He gets the bell and the fans pop for Savage’s signature weapon. And he dives at Flair and hits the railing. Angelo is choking Flair with his cane. And it meets Savage’s head and there’s your pin. The fans pop for it. Like I said, it’s a confused crowd tonight. Savage and his father leave together to end the show.

Rating: B. The ending made next to no sense as Savage should have gone over here but at the same time it was a good enough match. The problem for me was that I felt like we needed something else now. It’s like while this was an ending to the show, there was something missing at the end of the show. This is going in the wrong place. The match was solid, but at the same time it had its flaws. Good enough considering who was in it though.

Overall Rating: D. This was a pretty weak show to me. There are two matches that worked, but at the same time bad parts were REALLY bad. The crowd here was…different. They liked what they like I guess so there we are. The show just wasn’t that good, plain and simple. I mean Pittman vs. Duggan? Seriously? The opener and the main event were good so I’ll give them that, but other than that the rest of the card was just boring. Take a pass here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and check out my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

This is another very old one but it’s an interesting show.  It’s one of the first 30 reviews I’ve ever done so I know the quality is very low.

Great American Bash 1996
Date: June 16, 1996
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Dusty Rhodes

Another random review here in light of the 4th of July. This show is famous for one incident and semi-famous for one match. The main event was a total waste with Giant defending against Luger. Other than that your big match is Flair and Anderson vs. Kevin Greene and Steve McMichael, two former NFL players which for some reason was a huge deal, or at least built up as one.

Other than that, it’s really kind of forgotten as most WCW shows from this era were. The NWO was just over the horizon as they would unite for the first time a mere 21 days after this. Hall and Nash were around at this time as there was still the theory that everything was a HUGE angle with WWF but no one really was sure.

This was huge at the time and the Attitude Era was being conceived based on the things that were about to happen. On that basis, the thing that happens here was huge, but other than that I’m not sure how much there is. Let’s go with it, and happy 4th of July!

We open with Heenan in the back PANICKING. He’s managing Anderson and Flair as Savage manages the football players. We get short promos from all major parties involved. Luger says he’s going to get a third belt to go with his tag and TV title. Is there a need to put two titles on one guy and then have him in the world title match? Giant says no, he won’t, and we’re on the air.

We get the presentation of the American flag by a guy we’re supposed to forget is a wrestler I guess. Oh apparently we’re supposed to know him. I guess that’s ok. Dusty and Tony explain the two big matches because the video/promos we just got didn’t explain them well enough I guess. They acknowledge the death of Dick Murdock. That’s kind of nice.

Fire and Ice vs. Steiner Brothers

There must be a winner apparently, as this is one of many matches they’ve had but we’ve never had a winner, so the Steiners have to beat them up on PPV instead of trying to find a good feud for one of the best tag teams ever. I love their theme music for some reason.

Fire and Ice are Scott Norton, who is a far bigger star in Japan, and Ice Train, who never did anything. They’re just two big guys that got put into a tag team so they’d have something to do I guess. It’s weird to see a four man match with Rick Steiner being the smallest guy in the ring.

Scott is huge here as the evolution into the singles guy wasn’t quite there yet. Norton and Train are the really weak kind of team who fought all the time but were made a team out of respect. That can work, but I’ve never been a fan of it. Steingers are incredibly over here as the problem was simple: they were WAY too big for the tag titles, so what do you do with them?

Dream’s voice is really very annoying. Tony just sounds like an idiot that makes Cole look great on the mic. Faces, or at least the bigger faces, run off the heels as they do their weird looking pose with Rick running around and sliding between Scott’s legs. There’s just something not right about that.

The Steiner line amuses me as it’s really a jumping shoulder block with an arm extended. This may or may not be for the #1 Contender spot. They can’t simply just SAY that it is or not but rather “this will move them very high up the ranks”. Is it that hard to just SAY the winner will be the #1 contenders?

My goodness Fire and Ice are generic as all goodness. They’re just two big strong guys that I have no reason to care about at all. Norton has one of the trademarks of bad wrestlers as he uses a shoulder breaker for his signature move. They hit their tag finisher on Rick, and as Scott comes running in Norton FREAKING LOOKS AT HIM.

My goodness at least try. Top rope finisher from the Steiners as this is just a mess. Scott hits the WORST frankensteiner of all time as Norton pretty much rolls forward instead of jumping. Nick Patrick counts two and says that’s it as even he wanted this load of garbage to end.

Rating: D+. Holy goodness this was just a train wreck. The styles just completely sucked. The Steiners just weren’t what they used to be at this point and I think a lot of that can be attributed to Scott changing his style. Rick was already a power guy. They didn’t need another one. Fire and Ice completely sucked though, so that has a lot to do with it.

In the back, Jimmy Hart and Kevin Sullivan talk about how this feud isn’t about the Dungeon of Doom against the Horsemen but Sullivan has been beating them all up anyway. Sullivan was just a guy that flat out wasn’t that good. He was too small and did little more than punch.

US Title: El Gato vs. Konnan

This is a prime example of the odd stuff about WCW at the time. They would bring in these random guys, in this case Tanaka of the Orient Express dressed as a Luchador. This was the attempt to make a cross cultural promotion, but there was just one problem: no one cared about the Mexican heritage or whatever. Gato had ONE match, and he gets a US Title shot.

That’s the stupid part of it. He’s a good wrestler, but these matches were just completely random and there was no emotion to them at all. Dusty references people listening to this on the radio. As weird as that sounds, it might actually have happened. JR did WWF Radio for years.

Dusty goes on to make stupid jokes about how Gato is quick as a cat. Problem #2 with this: they’re doing a mat based match. Mexican wrestling is supposed to be high flying. Instead we get top wrist locks etc. Also there’s no Mike Tenay, who was one of the few guys that actually knew what he was talking about in this stuff.

Oh, but apparently he’s going to be there later for Mysterio’s match with Malenko. Oh that’s great. We get a Mexican wrestling expert for a match between two Americans. I’m so painfully bored right now. Gato runs into the corner but gets rolled up for the pin.

Rating: D-. My GOD this was awful. No one gave a second thought about it, the match was dull as watching molasses dry in a freshly painted white room, and the ending came out of nowhere. WCW just thought that if they had foreign wrestlers that things would work great. It’s not that simple. If you have foreign wrestlers, they have to do something that Americans don’t do, like high flying. I don’t want to see a Mexican wrestler do arm bars for 70% of a match. My goodness this was horrid.

Sting is in the back and talks about how Regal’s Britishness is just a bit off. This is a comedy interview and it’s ok I guess. He goes into normal Sting mode and it’s a huge improvement.

Lord of the Ring: DDP vs. Marcus Bagwell

This is for the Battlebowl Ring, because WCW didn’t have enough titles so they made the ring that was won in a battle royal earlier in the year a title as well. This was actually a very interesting time and angle for DDP. DDP had done an angle where he won something like 6 million dollars playing bingo, which yes, it’s as stupid as it sounds.

He started losing money though and eventually got thrown out of the company due to a stipulation in a match. Eventually he came back broke and worked his way up, winning the TV Title and some other things, before going face and being one of the main fighters against the NWO. It was a really long and drawn out process, but it got a guy like DDP WAY over, so it worked. He’s the classic example of a guy that can take one single move and make a career out of it. That’s quite impressive.

The match comes about as the American Males FLIPPED A COIN before we went on air. Seriously, that’s the amount of thought put into this. They flipped a freaking coin. I’m getting sleepy watching this. It’s just so generic and there’s so little thought put into it. Page does a spot that he almost always did as he gets knocked into the front row, prompting Tony to make his “he didn’t pay for that seat” joke.

They recap his comeback with him having a benefactor which was never explored. Bagwell is one of the luckiest wrestlers of all time and proof that an NWO shirt on you can keep you employed. He was the most generic wrestler ever, which is an exaggeration but I felt like saying it. *Norcal says your face is exaggerated*

He did nothing of note ever and was somehow always on the midcard. Was Bischoff getting some sweet Judy Bagwell loving? DDP misses an Orton punt to the ribs, causing him to land on his back. Tony makes a punter joke, which is par for him I guess.

Bagwell’s genericness is making me want to stab something. He’s just so BLAND. Oh and the crowd is dead. No one cares and this is almost a ten minute match. The ending is awful too as Page just grabs him and Diamond Cuts him. Well that was riveting.

Rating: F. Man alive this show sucks. It was boring, it was bland, and no one wanted to see it. I can’t get over the freaking coin toss thing. Bagwell was awful and Page was overrated. What were you expecting here?

Giant and Hart talk about the title match with Luger tonight, which might be the worst main event feud in WCW history. Giant still won’t shut up about beating Hogan. Gene looks sleepy.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Dean Malenko

This is Rey’s debut apparently, so let’s give him a title match! It’s always cool to see mega stars like Rey debut like this. You ever notice that the Cruiserweight Title almost always came down to the heel not flying that much and facing a guy that jumped everywhere? Rey grabs a headlock to start which gets him absolutely nowhere.

Tenay used to drive me crazy but here he’s required almost. They both sit out and it’s a double nipup for a standoff. Malenko takes him to the mat but Rey speeds it up and sends Dean to the floor with an armdrag. He adds in the Jericho springboard dropkick to send Dean to floor. Rey is 21 here but has been wrestling since he was 14 which is insane.

Rey tries some of his leverage stuff but gets sent to the floor. They speed things up a bit but Dean hits the floor to break the momentum as he’s rather smart. Dean goes after the arm and Rey is in trouble. Hammerlock slam as Dean channels his inner Anderson. We hear about the Cruiserweights in the division which really was an incredible collection of talent.

We hear about Rey being in AAA as is Konnan. The more I hear about AAA the more I like it. Rey speeds things up again but Dean takes his head off with a clothesline. We hear about NJPW and Eddie winning the Super J Tournament. Notice what WCW was doing at the time: they were pulling talent from EVERYWHERE and drawing in as many fans as they possibly could. Very smart business as there are more fans in the world rather than in America.

Dean works on the arm more and Rey is in trouble. Dean gets an overhead belly to belly while hooking the arm around like a hammerlock. That was pretty cool looking. Notice here that he’s throwing on a bunch of holds but they’re different, which makes it less boring. Anyone can throw on an armbar 5 times, but throw on different moves and you get a potentially different reaction, which is a good thing.

Off to a surfboard which is always cool looking. Dean drops him back out of it and into a bridge for two. Right back to the arm by Dean and Rey is in big trouble. Butterfly suplex gets two and Dean is frustrated. Rey gets to a rope but the referee is like whatever and lets them keep going. Rey gets a leverage move to send Dean to the floor and hits a springboard sommersault senton to take both guys out.

Springboard missile dropkick gets two as the fans are WAY into this now. The move that would become West Coast Pop gets two. Dean sends him to the apron and Rey goes up. Top rope Frankensteiner puts Dean down but another rana attempt is countered into a powerbomb and the feet go onto the ropes for Dean to get the pin and retain. Awesome match.

Rating: A-. Standard great match with these two. Malenko may have been pretty dull as far as charisma goes, but dang he could go in the ring. Mysterio was always fun to watch when he still had knees, and this was no exception. This right here is what began to carry WCW in the NWO years. They would do the heavy lifting and the main event guys would get all the credit.

Lex Luger says he’s completely focused on Giant. This just screams WORST TITLE MATCH EVER. The build is Luger got chokeslammed on a table. It’s just generic and no one cares, but that could be said of the whole PPV.

Big Bubba vs. John Tenta

Oh dear. This is over the Dungeon of Doom, who was one of the worst big stables ever, cutting half of Tenta’s hair and goatee. Tenta was supposed to be a big face or something I guess but of course nothing ever came of it. These two have the exact same style so this isn’t going to work. Non American object gets Bubba in control. Soon thereafter, I see some interesting looking paint on the wall and I lose my focus. Thankfully this is about five and a half minutes and ends with Tenta slamming Bubba. Afterwards he cuts off Bubba’s beard.

Rating: D. Again, there’s no point to this match. It’s just two guys beating on each other and no one cares at all. Tenta never did a freaking thing in WCW and would be gone very soon to be Golga in the Oddities in WWF. Bubba would turn face after the NWO beat on him.

We go to Gene in the back with the football players and their wives. I still don’t get why this was considered a good idea. McMichael tried really hard but just never got it. However, considering he was a good football player and made an attempt at wrestling, that’s at least impressive.

Chris Benoit vs. Kevin Sullivan

This is falls count anywhere. Now this was a very interesting story to say the least. The idea is that the Dungeon and the Horsemen want to team up to fight Hogan, but these two hate each other too much. As for the real life story, these two HATED each other. There was a storyline where Benoit stole Sullivan’s storyline wife. To play up the storyline, they traveled together.

However, it soon became real life as Nancy Woman Sullivan left Kevin for Benoit. The feuds you would see on TV would often be shoots instead of works, with these two really beating the tar out of each other. It’s this match where Benoit allegedly became a big deal, and if I remember it right, that’s a very fair assessment to make.

They’re beating the living tar out of each other very early on and if these shots aren’t legit, they’re the best fakes I’ve ever seen. Almost immediately they’re out in the crowd. They go up into the stands and go into the men’s room. Benoit gets his head slammed in a stall door which has to freaking hurt. For some reason there’s like 25 people in there, which shows how interested the people were in this show.

They fight over shoving the other’s head into the commode. Dusty loses his freaking mind over a woman being in the men’s room. Sullivan lands a great shot with some toilet paper as this is just a wild fight. You really can see the mega star in Benoit just begging to be unleashed, but alas it wouldn’t happen for several years. In a very painful spot, Benoit is thrown down the stairs in the arena.

Jimmy has been standing in the ring the whole time. They say why would people want to come in and declare war? That would make a lot more sense if guys like Benoit got to fight them. Benoit vs. Nash when Nash was worth something. How’s that sound? Tony for some reason can’t get the difference between a chair and a table.

We have a D-Von Special as we get one of the old school tables, as in the oens that don’t break. They sit the table on the top rope and Benoit wins with a snap suplex off the top, which looks VERY painful. Dusty says you don’t want to get caught in the bathroom with Benoit. Anderson runs out to save Sullivan from Benoit but beats up Sullivan with him, officially reforming the Horsemen to a MASSIVE pop. The Dungeon runs out for the save as the Horsemen leave together.

Rating: A. DANG this was a wild fight. Benoit looked like a star out there and he and Sullivan just beat the tar out of each other. Benoit had everything you could want, and he didn’t even use the Crossface yet. How WCW screwed this up is truly beyond me. This match was just pure brutality, making it a very fun match all around. Not great from a technical perspective, but it wasn’t supposed to be at all. Very fun and a pure breath of fresh air given how bad this show has been so far.

In the back Gene is with the women and Flair but Benoit and Anderson come in. Anderson says that Benoit is officially one of them, giving him the biggest endorsement you can get in the sport. Everyone says that they’ll get the football players tonight.

Sting vs. Steve Regal

Their respective teams have been feuding so we get a singles match here that actually doesn’t sound too bad on paper. The pop for Sting is easily the biggest of the night as he’s so over it’s uncanny. They start off pretty fast which is expected but then as also can be expected, they slow things down a lot and get down on the mat where both guys can go, but Regal can go better.

Regal is actually out wrestling Sting here, which isn’t something that you can say that often. Regal is a good guy to have in a role like this as he can just beat on people with all kinds of moves and can get people on the mat where he’ll own them. There’s little better than a guy that can get someone down on the mat and work them over while making them look weak.

The thing that looks better is the guy that can beat him. Regal calling Sting Sunshine is just funny. He plays the cocky British heel so perfectly well that he’s just great. Sting is good enough to keep up with him on the mat which a lot of people can’t say. The announcers all of a sudden have an attitude about the outsiders invading, which hasn’t been here all night.

This was where the thing started to go downhill, as eventually WCW was pushed down our throats as this huge and perfect wrestling company that we had to love, which WCW just wouldn’t accept anything otherwise. That’s just dumb all around. I really like the way Regal just beats on Sting and locks in the Regal Stretch like it’s nothing, but it’s stupid to see Regal just let the hold go because Sting won’t give up.

It’s not like the hold is going to make him feel better, so why would you just break it? That makes no sense at all. Sting hulks up and gets kneed in the chest on a splash attempt. That means nothing as he knocks Regal down and has him tapping in about three seconds. I HATE that ending. He got his head handed to him for 15 minutes and then takes over inside of a minute? That just doesn’t work at all.

Rating: B-. This was a decent match, but DANG the ending messed it up. Regal dominating the entire time worked, but there should have been more of a comeback and less domination as it makes Regal’s offense look bad. Of course Sting was going to win here, but I didn’t like the way it was executed at all.

Ric Flair/Arn Anderson vs. Kevin Greene/Steve McMichael

This is another attempt at crossing over with football, which just never works for one reason: football players can’t wrestle that well because they get a crash course in wrestling. Now there have been players that have gotten long training and are wrestlers for a long time who become good wrestlers and Mongo got close to doing that, but not when they do it in the off season or after retiring for the most part.

Heenan manages the heels here for no apparent reason. Savage manages the faces because he hates Flair, which is fine as it gives them a lot more credibility. Greene walks like a robot. His wife is hot though so that helps a lot. Rhodes makes a great comment that the football players who have been learning to wrestle shouldn’t try to wrestle. So wait, they wasted their time for the last few months? That’s a great endorsement there Dusty.

Arn and Mongo get down in a three point stance because that’s a brilliant idea where Mongo of course dominates him. Tony says that Mongo left the Bears for money. Remember that line. This really is just getting stupid all around. What’s commonly forgotten about Flair is that he was a college football player as well at the University of Minnesota, so the three point stance isn’t exactly a foreign concept to him.

Very soon we start to see the problem: the football guys know about 5 moves each, two of which are boots and punches. You can see that Flair and Anderson are completely carrying them and calling the whole thing, including hearing Flair call spots to Mongo, which might be due to the extreme close-ups in the corner.

Flair whispered, but with the camera 4 inches from him you can’t really blame him for that. The heel women chase away the face women. The announcers are still trying to make this sound epic and are still failing on every level. Mongo gets beaten on forever until the hot tag to bring in Greene for more punches, tackles and slams. Another five minutes or so of beating on Greene until Flair gets the figure four on.

Debra, Liz and Woman come back but Debra is dressed up now and Liz has a briefcase. You know what’s coming next. The shirt and money are in the case and Mongo hits Greene with it to join the Horsemen and end the match, drawing a huge pop as this is Horsemen country. Post match, there’s a huge beatdown by all four Horsemen. Benoit and Savage fight as I drool over the idea of that feud. You can see Flair say good job to Green after he pins him and the Four Horsemen are back!

Rating: C-. This was just pretty bad to say the least. I’ll give the football guys credit though as they were at least trying very hard. The turn at the end was clearly the most important part and while the match went on too long, it wasn’t terrible for what it was. Could have been better but it also could have been worse.

Now we get the really famous part of the show as Bischoff calls out Hall and Nash, but not by name. This segment was really more about clearing up a lawsuit that WWF filed against WCW over the use of copyrighted characters because they said that Hall and Nash were acting too much like Razor and Diesel.

They get their match in three weeks but they first have to say they don’t work for the WWF. The Outsiders want to know who they’re facing because they have a third guy and want to know who their opponents are. Eric says they’ll find out the next night on Nitro but that doesn’t sit well with the big boys, leading to a jackknife off the stage to another huge pop. You can really tell how much the people hated the old school WCW style and were craving something new. Of course the mystery guy would be Hogan while they would face Sting, Luger and Savage.

The cleanup takes longer than a Vince McMahon promo as Tony does the UNTHINKABLE and leaves Dusty alone on commentary. However, since this is live PPV and we’re on a time limit, forget Eric’s possible paralyzing injury and let’s have the main event!

WCW Title: Giant vs. Lex Luger

And so we begin the most lackluster main event that I can ever remember. To illustrate the match, Luger charges and gets his head kicked off within 2 seconds. It’s power vs. power again and since it hasn’t worked twice tonight, it has to work the third time right?

Sting chases off Hart who keeps interfering as Giant just beats on Luger forever with all kinds of power moves. Giant for those of you that don’t know is Big Show minus about 100 lbs and when he was one of the hottest things in wrestling because he really could move all around the ring at a fast pace.

However, he sucked as a world champion because he’s the kind of guy that a big face is supposed to take down, not the kind of guy you give the belt to for months at a time like WCW did. This is as much of a formula match as you’ll ever find with Giant beating on Luger and Luger keeps kicking out until he hits about 6 steel forearms in a row which Giant stays up from. Luger racks him but collapses under the weight. Giant pulls the strap down and chokeslams him for the pin to end what might be the worst PPV I’ve ever seen.

Rating: D+. If there’s ever been a match where the booking killed it, this is it. There was no reason to either have this match or at least have it go on last. It just shouldn’t have happened like this as the Horsemen reuniting was a far bigger and better deal as well as being marketed as the main event. This just shouldn’t have gone on last as it just had no momentum at all and the ending was just flat as possible.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a hard one to grade as there are two awesome matches on it and then the rest is just awful. The stars were in the wrong matches which is weird because it allowed the young guys to shine, but it made for an awkward show. The young guys made the show watchable, but that’s not enough to really save it. Watch the Cruiserweight Title and the falls count anywhere and that’s about it. Oh and the Hall/Nash stuff if you’re a history geek.

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Monday Nitro #36
Date: May 20, 1996
Location: Monroe Civic Center, Monroe, Louisiana
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Eric Bischoff

It’s the night after Slamboree and the final one hour show in the history of Nitro. It’s also the final show in the pre-NWO era. That being said, not a lot has changed at the previous show other than Great American Bash was set up with Mongo bringing out Kevin Greene to help him fight Anderson and Flair which shocked Flair for some reason despite Mongo talking about him on the previous Nitro. The Bash is only four weeks away so at least the build isn’t that long. Anyway let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of the same thing I just recapped.

Steiner Brothers vs. Fire and Ice

Scott Norton and Ice Train so for the sake of this I’ll go with Norton to call Scott Norton and Scott for Scott Steiner. Train and Scott start us off as I continue to try to figure out what I liked about Ice Train. I think these two had a match at the Bash also. Scott hits a belly to belly and it’s off to Norton and Rick. Norton adds a middle rope splash for no cover. Rick is like whatever and hits a German to bring in Scott.

To the floor and Scott drops a forearm off the top to Norton. Samoan Drop by Norton gets two as momentum shifts a bit. Rick and Train come in and it’s a double clothesline to put both guys down again. Everything breaks down as apparently this is a 90 minute long broadcast. Maybe this is a preview show for the two hour variety? Not that it matters for this match as the referee just throws it out.

Rating: C-. Not awful here as they did ok for a battle of power. Their match at the PPV had almost twice as long which helped them a bit but at the same time there wasn’t much to go on here. Fire and Ice wasn’t all that good and no one really cared when they split in the fall. Norton went to the NWO and Train went into obscurity. Not much to talk about here but not bad.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Ric Flair

This should be good. Eddie grabs a headlock to start and takes Flair down with relative ease. They slug it out a bit as Eddie fires away with right hands and Flair of course chops away. Eddie speeds things up and sends Flair to the floor and Flair wisely gets away from any and all corners. Flair goes to his party table and grabs a chair which is taken away from him by the referee of course.

After a quick chase around the ring we come back for a staredown. BIG chops in the corner by Eddie and down goes Flair. We take a break with Flair firing a thumb into the eye. Back and they speed things up a bit with Eddie hitting clotheslines and a top rope sunset flip for two. Eddie actually grabs the Figure Four and Flair is in trouble. Eddie is no Jay Lethal apparently though and there’s the rope. Out to the floor and Flair takes over, landing a suplex as I think he wants to damage Guerrero.

Bobby talks about Flair being a 15 time champion and Bischoff says 13, because we’re not counting THOSE championships because they’re not WRESTLING championships. This guy is a walking comedy show. Flair hammers away but gets caught in an O’Connor Roll for two. Eddie gets a cross body but his knee gives out so he can’t cover. Flair Flip in the corner and Eddie dropkicks him off the apron to the floor.

Flair takes over on the floor as this has been a really good match so far. Eddie gets pounded in the corner but grabs a tornado DDT. He grabs him by the hand, walks up the ropes, walks across the ropes and gets a rana for two. Slam sets up the Frog Splash but Eddie hurt his leg again.

Flair…..tries a nip up? What weird parallel universe have I slipped into? Now we go to school and it’s Figure Four time. Eddie blocked it for a bit but now he’s caught. He tries to turn it over but the women help Flair out and Eddie can’t get his shoulders up and he’s out for a pin. That was AWESOME.

Rating: A-. This might be the best Nitro match in the history of the show and I’ve never heard anyone mention it. It’s Flair vs. Eddie for nearly 20 minutes, making it one of the longest matches in the history of the show so far. Very good match and totally awesome as Eddie gave Flair all he wanted. I loved this.

Flair and the girls come up to Gene at his VIP table and Savage is mentioned to a big pop. That’s not an issue apparently so Flair talks about football players for awhile and it’s the same stuff he’s said for months now. Flair takes the champagne and leaves with it and the ladies.

Back from a break and there are candles, champagne and fruit at the announce table with Flair, Bischoff and Heenan.

Tag Titles: Faces of Fear vs. Sting/Lex Luger

During the challengers’ entrance Flair is ranting about how we need a waiter. Luger vs. Meng to start us off. Apparently Liz likes Luger’s pec dance. That won’t lead to her eventual death or anything right? Meng actually does a drop toehold as Flair praises him. Bischoff shows his lack of historical wrestling as he asks if Flair has even wrestled a football player, apparently never having heard of Wahoo McDaniel so Flair goes off on him a bit.

Flair is having a ball on commentary, singing and making jokes about Debra. Back with Barbarian vs. Sting and down goes the painted one. Bischoff shills the replay of the PPV which was absolutely terrible. Barbarian gets a BIG kick of fear for two. That looked great if nothing else. Belly to belly release suplex off the top which looked AWESOME also. Barbarian is looking great here.

Double top rope headbutt and I think Sting may be dead. Luger comes in for the delay so Sting somehow kicks out at two. Heenan and Flair are cracking me up here as they’re debating which party to go to and having sandwiches. Sting dives for a tag but still can’t reach it either. He finally avoids a top rope headbutt from Barbarian and dives at Luger for the hot tag and everything breaks down. Sting knocks Barbarian off the top and a top rope splash by Sting sets up Luger for the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty good little tag match here as Sting sold like a master and it allowed for a decent match to come out of it. Luger’s sneakiness was dropped in favor of other stuff in about a week which is fine because I couldn’t handle another backstabbing angle. Anyway pretty good match here and fine for what it was.

Flair is told Savage is here and isn’t exactly happy.

Savage is still trying to get in so Flair laughs a bit. Apparently Savage’s future is being discussed by WCW officials. Savage says make the right decision and is thinking about running through the cops to get at Flair. They shove him back again with ease and that’s about it for this part.

Glacier is still coming.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Brad Armstrong

Page has his normal music here now minus the Self High Five part. Oh and he’s Diamond Dallas at this point for some reason. He won Battlebowl the previous night and has a benefactor and a ring now apparently. Armstrong tries some basic stuff to start so Page bails into the corner. Considering there’s no way that Armstrong can win here we’re kind of wasting time at this point.

Nitro moves to two hours next week apparently. Page stomps away and we take a break. Back with Page holding onto a chinlock as I have a feeling this is going to be rather boring here. Backslide gets two for Armstrong and that’s about it at the moment. Page hits a spear in the corner but the second misses and the arm hits the post. Flair praises Armstrong actually as he rams Page into the buckles and then the mat. Top rope cross body by Armstrong gets two and there’s the Diamond Cutter to end this. He didn’t have it mastered yet though so he kind of ran with it at this point. He’d get better though.

Rating: D+. Pretty weak match here but at the same time Page was still getting better. That’s why they put him with Eddie later to give him some real experience like they did here but Eddie was an actual feud. Anyway, not much of a match here but they had to get him on the show, if nothing else for this next part.

Gene talks to Page who praises himself for a good while. His foot was on the floor at one point so they’re taking the title shot from him and giving it to Luger. Page keeps the ring though for no adequately explained reason. Page rants a bit and wouldn’t get the title shot for like two years.

WCW World Title: Arn Anderson vs. The Giant

I could listen to Anderson’s Horsemen music forever. Kevin Sullivan is with him for some reason. When do you ever see him getting world title shots anyway? Jimmy Hart and Sullivan argue a lot before the match. Anderson tries a go behind to start and Giant is just like dude, no.

Arn hammers away in the corner and that goes about as well as you would expect it to. Slam puts Arn down and Giant isn’t even sweating. Anderson is sent to the floor and this somehow goes even more slowly. Giant gets crotched on the rope as he comes back in and Anderson manages to take him down. DDT is attempted and Giant is again like dude, no. He lifts him up and the chokeslam ends this clean.

Rating: D+. I’d go with an N/A here if I used those anymore but that’s really all there is to say here. It ran about 3:40 and had about two minutes of action in it. Giant destroyed him here other than a few shots. The problem was Giant was a guy that was totally awesome in theory but he was green beyond belief. He was slowly getting better but it took a few more years before he could work a match longer than five minutes without someone great in there with him. He was trying though and he actually improved slowly though, which is what made him worth the time.

Heenan tries to steal all the stuff Flair brought him to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a pretty good show overall but they didn’t know how to fill in an hour and a half show yet, which is why the NWO was absolutely required when they made the move to two hours the next week. This had a great match and another decent one on there as a lot of stuff started to shift. Anyway, next week is probably the most famous moment in WCW history so this doesn’t mean much in comparison.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: May 9, 2013
Location: BancorpSouth Arena, Tupelo, Mississippi
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz, Todd Keneley

It’s another live show this week as we’re less than a month away from Slammiversary. The main event tonight is yet another tag match with Sting captaining a TNA team along with Kurt Angle and a mystery partner, which may be AJ Styles to face Aces and 8’s. In other words, almost everything is the same as it always is, which is TNA’s major problem at the moment. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week with Sting beating Matt Morgan for the title match last week and D’Lo Brown potentially being kicked off the team.

Here are Angle and Sting to open things up. Sting talks about wanting to take the heart out of Aces and 8’s by taking the title from Ray in Boston. He doesn’t want to wait another month though so tonight he’s going to war with the machine. Angle talks about making Brown scream I QUIT last week, but tonight it’s AJ Styles that can turn the tide in the war. Kurt calls out AJ and yells at him to make a decision right now.

Sting says hang on a second and talks about his time of hanging in the rafters and being the loner for awhile. He calls this place the house that AJ built and sticks out his hand to Styles. Angle takes the mic away from Sting and yells at AJ that he’s either with them or against them, so Styles walks away. Angle goes after Styles and AJ takes off the jacket. They slug it out on the ramp and the bikers sneak in and lay out Sting with a 3D.

Post break AJ has nothing to say.

Tara/Gail Kim vs. Mickie James/Velvet Sky

Mickie pounds on Gail to start as we have a very good view of Velvet from the apron. Gail interferes though and lets Tara take over, allowing Tara to put Mickie in the Tree of Woe. A baseball slide hits Mickie in the face and it’s off to Gail for a splash in the corner. Mickie comes back with a kick to the face in the corner and it’s off to Velvet. She quickly loads up In Yo Face on Tara but has to send Gail to the floor. No that it matters as In Yo Face hits Tara for the pin at 3:32.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here other than the nice upskirt shots of Velvet. I’m guessing they’re moving towards Mickie taking the title and then doing the legend vs. rookie wonder in Taryn at BFG, which doesn’t do much for me, but then again very rarely does anything the Knockouts do get me interested.

Post match Gail lays out Tara and puts her in the Figure Four around the post.

Bully isn’t pleased with D’Lo and the bikers leave him standing there as they go to the ring.

Bad Influence offers Storm some beer to hopefully sway him to their side. They leave and Storm starts drinking.

Here are Aces and 8’s to hype up the main event tonight. They know the mystery partner isn’t AJ Styles because AJ has seen the light of day. However, there’s club business with D’Lo Brown. A couple of weeks ago (it was last week), Brown disappointed the team so turn in his colors right now. Brown says no so Ray gives him one more chance. Brisco and Bischoff take the vest off of him and Ray yells at him for quitting. Brown offers to beat up Magnus tonight to get the vest back. Ray says no because Doc gets to beat up Magnus instead. Apparently Brown’s spot rests on Doc winning.

Magnus vs. Doc

This is joined in progress after a break with Doc in control and knocking a jumping Magnus out of the air. After a quick chinlock, Doc kicks him in the face but Magnus starts his comeback with a big boot of his own. Some clotheslines puts Doc down and after shoving him off the top, a top rope elbow gets two for Magnus. Brown interferes but is thrown into the steps for his efforts. Back in and Doc hits a fireman’s carry into a pancake for two. Brown tries to trip Magnus but grabs the wrong foot, allowing Magnus to get a quick rollup on Doc for the pin at 4:12 shown.

Rating: D+. The ending was kind of obvious, but if this cuts some of the lame fat from the bikers I’m all for it. So many of their lower level guys are just worthless and Brown might be the most worthless of them all. This doesn’t exactly make the bikers look strong though, but that’s WAY past helping at this point.

Post break Ray wants to CRUSH BROWN’S SKULL WITH A HAMMER. Instead of murdering him, Ray calms down and makes him a prospect instead.

Hogan wants to team up with Angle and Sting but his doctors told him no. Hogan got a phone call today and if the guy is who he says he is, but apparently they would save the six man. Sting isn’t sure and suggests Magnus.

Aries and Roode also offer Storm beer.

Bad Influence vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries

James Storm is guest referee and the winners get a tag title shot. Aries starts with Kaz and they spin around a lot with Aries taking over and relaxing on the top rope. Both guys try to rake the others eyes and both try the clap tag to trick Storm, but James looks at both and shrugs. Regular tags bring in Roode and Daniels and they shake hands before both kick the other in the ribs at the same time.

Roode takes Daniels down in the corner with a neckbreaker and it’s off to Aries for a middle rope elbow into the back of a seated Daniels. It only gets one since Storm is distracted so it’s time for some HARD chops in the corner from Aries. Daniels is sent to the floor for an ax handle from Aries. Off to Roode and Bad Influence finally double teams to take over. An elbow drop to Roode’s back gets two and Roode is in trouble. Tazz suggests putting a bowl of beer down on the mat to make Storm get down faster.

Roode throws Kaz into Daniels and finally makes the hot tag off to Aries. It’s elbow strikes all around but Daniels escapes the brainbuster. Aries throws him onto Kaz on the floor though and takes both guys out with a suicide dive. Back in and Austin goes up for a frog splash (complete with Eddie dance) for two. Bad Influence hits a powerbomb/neckbreaker combo on Aries for two before Kaz has Fade to Black countered by Roode.

A spinebuster puts Kaz down but an STO puts Roode down as well. Aries suplexes Daniels down but Austin charges into a boot in the corner. Angel’s Wings are countered but the brainbuster is countered as well. Daniels rolls up Aries but Storm won’t count because Daniels is pulling the tights. Aries loads up a swig of beer and sprays it in Daniels’ face. Storm drinks the rest of the beer but gets shoved by Aries.

Storm loads up the Last Call but hits Daniels by mistake. He won’t count the three though because that’s not right. Instead it’s a Last Call on Aries and both guys are out. Storm walks away and the match seemingly just ends at 11:20. My guess is this sets up a triple threat tag because we haven’t had one of those in awhile.

Rating: C+. Good match here with a stupid ending to set up yet another triple threat. I mean, we haven’t had one in like two weeks, so clearly it’s time for another one right? The tag division continues to be nothing of note from a storyline perspective but the matches are at least entertaining.

Aces and 8’s destroy Magnus in the back. What is that, the third time that’s happened?

Suicide is back soon.

Video on Chris Sabin returning last week.

Here’s Kenny King to remind us he’s still around. King brags about being awesome and how impressive it is that he has to beat two people every single week. More like every month but whatever. He calls out Chris Sabin as someone who has overcome the odds so here’s Chris to a big ovation. Chris talks about being in physical therapy for the last year but how it’s been worth it. King hands him the belt and says that’s as close as “Frail” Sabin will ever get to being champion. Chris pops him in the face and King leaves.

Storm is out cold in the back with the four guys from the tag title match standing over him.

The Bound For Glory Series is back and this year a Gut Check winner will be in the Series. There’s a four man tournament next week with the winner getting into the Series for a shot at the world title at BFG.

Ray tells Aces and 8’s that they’re weeding out the weak ones. Knux is tasked with making sure D’Lo keeps the beer cold and the bikes washed.

Angle leaves without a partner. Hogan gets another call and the mystery partner might be here.

Kurt Angle/Sting/??? vs. Aces and 8’s

It’s Ray/D-Von/Anderson here. Angle and Sting are on their own to start. Kurt and D-Von get things going here with the fans completely behind Angle. A quick belly to belly puts D-Von down but it’s off to the world champion for some hard elbows to the back of Kurt’s neck. Kurt grabs ray’s arm but it’s quickly off to Sting, sending Ray running into the corner. Anderson gets the tag but he walks into a dropkick and atomic drop before it’s back to Angle.

Kurt beats on Anderson a bit before it’s back to D-Von who takes Kurt down for a quick two count. Angle slugs him in the face but the numbers came catches up with him again. The Dudleys hit a reverse 3D on Angle before knocking Sting off the apron. Something is apparently going on in the back and it’s the rest of Aces and 8’s all laid out. We take a break and come back with Ray hitting a good dropkick (Tazz: “LIKE MIL MASCARAS!”) for two on Kurt.

D-Von comes back in to crank on Angle’s neck for a bit before slamming him down and dropping a leg for no cover. WE get the Hogan imitations of course and it’s back to Ray for more pounding on Kurt. Angle snaps off an Angle Slam on Ray out of nowhere and it’s hot tag to Sting. The Splash and Death Drop get two on D-Von as Anderson makes the save. There’s another splash on D-Von but now Ray makes the save.

Sting basically Hulks Up and gets in Ray’s face and they slug it out. There’s the Scorpion on Ray but Anderson makes the save. Sting is taken to the floor as the Dudleys load up a table, but here’s ABYSS to return and clean house. He chokeslams Anderson through the table (not a DQ) and hits the Black Hole Slam on D-Von for the pin at 18:27.

Rating: C+. Good main event here with a nice surprise too. This doesn’t exactly change much because if I had to make a bet, I’d be on the side that says Abyss is hot for a few weeks and then goes back to doing nothing of note for months like everyone else on the roster. Still though, a good surprise here and it had to happen sooner or later.

Overall Rating: C+. FAR more entertaining show tonight with a lot less annoying stuff to sit through. The main event was fine and the surprise wasn’t bad, but at the end of the day it still leads to a pretty lame PPV main event in a few weeks. Ray vs. Sting does nothing for anyone but it’s Sting so we have to give him at least one PPV title shot a year just because we have to. There was some good stuff here tonight and the show was light years easier to sit through than last week, which is a very good sign.

Results

Mickie James/Velvet Sky b. Tara/Gail Kim – In Yo Face to Tara

Magnus b. Doc – Rollup

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode vs. Bad Influence went to a no contest

Kurt Angle/Sting/Abyss b. Aces and 8’s – Black Hole Slam to D-Von

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Impact Wrestling
Date: April 5, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

This is a different kind of show as I have no idea what’s coming here. Due to the WWE being in Orlando this week, the only recappers that care enough about Impact were at Raw and Smackdown, so there aren’t any spoilers coming in this week. It’s kind of a nice change of pace and I’m curious to see what happens when I don’t know what to expect. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s ending with Hogan becoming the new GM.

The roster is around ringside and here’s Hulk to address them. He thanks Sting for having his back and talks about meeting with creative earlier today. There’s going to be a lot of new stuff coming up but first of all, let’s talk about Lockdown. Hogan makes Morgan vs. Crimson and it ends there. As for the Knockouts, there’s a Knockouts Championship Challenge to determine the #1 contender, whatever that means.

Hogan calls out Eric Bischoff but Flair says he’s not here. Flair says no one tells him anything so Hogan says get Eric here. Here’s Roode who says he’s right on time. Roode says that his only obligation is Lockdown so he’s out of here. Hogan says hang on a minute and calls Anderson into the ring. He makes Roode vs. Anderson tonight because it’s what the people want. As for Angle, he won’t be wrestling Hardy at Lockdown. That draws booing, so he’s wrestling Hardy tonight. Actually RIGHT NOW! As in after a break!

Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle

Hardy hooks an armbar to start and Kurt has some issues breaking it. Instead of wrestling he goes to the eyes but Hardy whips off a headscissors to send Kurt to the floor. There’s a slingshot dropkick and they brawl to the outside. Kurt is busted open. Kurt pounds Jeff down and we take a break. Back with Jeff hitting a great Whisper in the Wind to put both guys down. Twist is countered into the Rolling Germans with Kurt trapping Jeff’s left arm.

Jeff comes back with a Twisting Stunner but as he sets for the Swanton, Kurt runs the corner and hits the belly to belly. There’s the ankle lock but Jeff counters and hits a mule kick to put Angle down. Kurt grabs the referee to prevent the Swanton and tries to get Jeff to jump into a low blow but it’s avoided. Twist is countered again and Angle goes to the floor where he takes the countout at 12:54.

Rating: B-. This was getting good until the ending. I’d bet money on the rematch happening in ten days anyway (namely because I saw the rematch being made before I wrote this rating) because the idea of making people pay to see the match is a stupid idea in wrestling right? Good match until the bad ending.

Hogan runs into Angle in the back and makes the rematch for Lockdown in ten days. I give up.

Flair gets Eric on the phone and says get here.

Ray is trending apparently and says he’ll be the next world champion. He’s going to take care of Aries next.

Ray is in the ring and says he’s eaten chicken wings bigger than Aries. Here’s the X Champion who quiets the crowd down and the blasts Ray with the mic. He pounds Ray in the corner and the beating is on. He goes for ten punches in the corner but Ray hits a HUGE powerbomb out of the corner.

Joseph Park is looking in catering for Abyss. No luck again. He needs to find someone soon.

AJ is praising Storm when Storm pops up. Storm has to have a match tonight and he wants it to be with the best. Storm vs. AJ later. Geez think they’re stacking this show enough?

Mickie James vs. Winter vs. Tara vs. Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky

I think this is one fall. Angelina and Madison start and everyone runs in to break up the pins. Mickie replaces Madison and gets two off a neckbreaker. Side slam gets the same for Angelina. Velvet tags herself in and hits a low dropkick. Rayne and Love get in an argument as Tara comes in. The spinning side slam gets two and it’s off to Mickie vs. Velvet. Madison knocks Mickie down before she gets in and we go to the parade of finishers which culminates with Velvet hitting In Yo Face on Mickie for the pin at 7:08.

Rating: D+. I know I’m underrating these most of the time but I don’t care about women’s wrestling most of the time. Nothing to see here but at least they’re getting back to Velvet who is the most popular of the Knockouts. I don’t think Winter was ever in the match which is sad as I love that pale British thing.

Anderson says he’ll beat Roode when the champ and his security come in.

Storm and Hardy were at some country music awards.

Off to Eric Young’s bachelor party. They have suckers, non-alcoholic beer and a fantasy baseball draft. ODB comes in with alcohol and chicken wings. This goes nowhere.

James Storm vs. AJ Styles

Feeling out process for the first few minutes of the match. They fight over headlocks and AJ keeps looking for the kick. AJ takes it to the mat and goes for the leg but Storm runs. Did Styles add a submission that I don’t remember? Styles is sent to the corner and Storm hits a running enziguri from the apron. He goes up but AJ hits an enziguri of his own. AJ goes up but gets caught in a wicked Eye of the Storm for two. He tries the Closing Time but AJ blocks it and tries a figure four. That gets him nowhere so Styles tries the backflip into the reverse DDT, only for Storm to duck and kick AJ’s head off for the pin at 6:38.

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here and that was an AWESOME superkick. The look on Styles’ face after he gets up is great as he looks like he got hit by a bus. This is what Storm needs before the main event at Lockdown: clean wins over big names. AJ isn’t going to get a main event push anytime soon so have him put people over like this.

Storm wants Roode in the ring next week.

Hogan tells Sting to take the time to get healthy because he needs Sting.

Storm celebrates with Montgomery Gentry, a country act. He leaves and Roode/security come up and the champ spits water at them.

Motorcity Machineguns vs. Mexican America

Here’s their big return. Shelley and Anarquia start things off with the Guns controlling early. Sabin comes in as does Hernandez. The speed takes over with a bulldog for two and it’s back to Shelley for some more double teaming. Shelley’s tornado DDT is broken up but we get quick heel miscommunication. The Guns speed things up and finish with Skull and Bones at 4:19.

Rating: C. This was just a squash as the Guns were clearly never in any danger. The thing is I don’t know what they’re supposed to do other than a feud with Joe and Magnus, as the division is about two teams deep at this point. They’re still fun to watch but there’s no Beer Money to feud with. I’m glad they’re back though.

Bischoff gets here and Flair whines about Hogan.

Back from a break and Hulk is in the ring, calling out Eric. Eric talks about how no one would predict that this would happen in the year 2012: Bischoff vs. Hogan. Eric says there are a lot of differences between the two of them but the big one is Hogan isn’t a leader. Hogan isn’t a leader of men like Eric is.

Hulk makes Team Garrett vs. Team Eric at Lockdown in Lethal Lockdown. Oh sweet merciful goodness he’s captaining the team for the namesake match at the second biggest show of the year. If Eric’s team wins, Garrett is off the roster forever. If Garrett’s team wins, Eric is gone….and he can never use the Eric Bischoff name again. How exactly can he do that? I mean….it’s his name.

Video on Storm training.

Mr. Anderson vs. Bobby Roode

Unless there’s an overrun which there hasn’t been in months, this is going to be a pretty short match. The security gets thrown out before the match and Anderson jumps Roode in the aisle. Anderson takes over quickly but the champ takes him down. We’re told that next week there’s a best of three series for the man advantage in Lethal Lockdown.

Roode runs his mouth about being the champ and walks into a powerslam for two. Fisherman’s suplex is countered as is Anderson’s neckbreaker. There goes the referee and Anderson hits the rolling fireman’s carry slam. Roode steals a beer from what appeared to be an 8 year old’s hands and the bottle goes across Anderson’s head for the pin at 4:11.

Rating: C. I’m trying to get over that kid. Seriously he looked like he was 11 at oldest. The match was nothing special but given just over four minutes there was only so much that they could do. Not much to see to it and the post match stuff doesn’t really mean much. Anderson is in the main event jobber role now which is about where he belongs.

Hogan and Storm come out post match and Hogan reverses the decision. Roode doesn’t seem to care.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a significantly better show than the last two, but I don’t like what it looks like they’re doing. It looks like they’re stacking the TV shows to get the TV ratings up which is fine short term but it’s a bad idea for the long term. I’m not wild on Hogan as GM but if we get rid of Bischoff in two weeks I’m good. This was a good show for the most part, but I’m not sure I like where things are heading.

Results
Jeff Hardy b. Kurt Angle via countout
Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love, Mickie James, Winter, Madison Rayne and Tara – In Yo Face to James
James Storm b. AJ Styles – Last Call
Motor City Machineguns b. Mexican America – Skull and Bones to Anarquia
Mr. Anderson b. Bobby Roode via DQ when Roode hit Anderson with a beer bottle

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and check out my book on the History of the WWE Championship on Amazon at:

Monday Nitro #30
Date: April 1, 1996
Location: CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Eric Bischoff, Steve McMichael

We’re in the eighth month of Nitro and finally into the 30s of the shows. The company moves towards Slamboree which hasn’t been mentioned yet but there’s some stuff to get through first. This is kind of a dead period for a few weeks so there isn’t much to say about this one. Let’s get to it.

We open in the ring with Sting and Giant just about to start us off here. Well ok then.

Giant vs. Sting

This would be the main event of said Slamboree PPV. Giant swings but misses as we’re told that this was supposed to be Sting/Giant (why?) vs. Harlem Heat but Jimmy paid off the actual team. Sting hammers away but can’t get anywhere with him. Cross body just bounces off Giant which always looks cool. Sting manages to send him to the floor but Giant grabs him around the throat for a chokeslam from the apron. Sting manages to get a dropkick to send Giant flying to the floor. Luger runs in to help Sting and it’s thrown out. Too short to rate.

Cue the theme song.

We see a clip from before the show with Jimmy paying off Harlem Heat to leave their tag title opportunity. Wait why would Giant be Sting’s partner when Sting and Luger are champions?

Flair defends against Luger later.

Nasty Boys vs. Road Warriors vs. Steiner Brothers

Rick vs. Knobbs to start us off in a rare (for this period and company) three way dance. Things quickly break down with Knobbs vs. Animal. I wish they were doing the version of this they were doing later in the history of the company where it would be three guys in the ring at once. Scott gets a pumphandle slam to Hawk for no cover. Hawk rams into the post shoulder first as this is kind of hard to follow.

Back in and the shoulder is fine. Hawk takes Scott down with a neckbreaker and a fist drop for two. Animal vs. Scott now and Animal is sent into Rick who drills him and gets two after being tagged. WOW that was a badly written sentence. Sags apparently tags in and the Nastys beat up Scott. They’re tagging in and out insanely fast here. Hawk fights Sags on the floor and now has a choke on Rick in the ring. I have no idea how they keep jumping but they’re not editing it or anything. It’s that big a mess.

Knobs hammers away on Rick and we take a break. There’s an explosion of pyro in front of a Nitro logo which probably scares half the crowd to death. Back with Rick vs. Animal. Now Sags just runs in when Animal tags Hawk. Ok so I’m not completely insane here. Knobs covers Hawk for two somehow. I’ve been watching this and I have no idea how we’re getting from point A to point B.

Sags and Scott come in and make that Animal vs. Rick. I want this to end very badly as it’s getting very annoying. Now Knobs is in there. You’re supposed to tag I think but it doesn’t seem like they are. Knobs sends Rick HEAD FIRST into the post. That looked sick. Now Public Enemy comes out and hammers everyone. In the insanity Scott pins Knobs to win. What the heck ever man.

Rating: F. In a match you’re supposed to be able to tell what’s going on. This was like something out of ECW’s worst nightmares. Terrible match and there was no way to tell what was going on as the rules kept being thrown out. Horrible match so of course it got about 15 minutes. Get on to ANYTHING else.

Hulk Hogan/Booty Man vs. Arn Anderson/Kevin Sullivan

Gee I wonder who wins here. After the entrances we take a break, complete with an ad for the Power Plant, set to what would become La Parka’s music. Heenan says tonight is his last night on Nitro for some reason. Booty Man vs. Anderson to start us off. They head to the floor with Anderson ramming him into the railing. Hogan (I think debuting the long tights here) takes Anderson’s head off with a clothesline. Scratch that as he had them at the PPV.

Off to Booty Man vs. Sullivan now as we’re just waiting on the hot tag to Hogan here. Hogan finally comes in and gets ZERO reaction. Anderson takes him back to the corner as we continue to talk about Heenan leaving. I don’t remember that at all but I doubt anything comes of it. Hogan gets a hot shot of all things and a double noggin knocker to make sure we’re still in the Hogan comfort zone.

Back off to Booty Man with Woman SCREECHING for Anderson to come on. Come on who? Uh I mean what. Yeah that’s it. Booty Man hammers on Sullivan on the floor and then goes back in for a sunset flip on Arn for two as Sullivan saves. Woman claws at Booty’s eyes (did I really just say that?) as we hear about how Woman wearing white is supposed to be bad.

Booty Man is sent to the floor again and we get into a standard heel formula with Booty Man playing Ricky Morton. And never mind as Hogan is tagged in rather fast. Still no reaction but the human sun is in there now. Liz, looking AWESOME in a leather skirt and thigh high boots, tries to help Anderson. Kimberly gives Hogan a show and it goes into Sullivan’s eye to end this.

Rating: D. Another weak main event level tag match here with nothing going on for the most part. It’s more Hogan vs. Horsemen/Dungeon to further prove that the NWO was desperately needing. I think the vast majority of people were just done with this feud but they kept it going anyway. Didn’t like this one at all.

Booty Man goes back to get the shoe and gets beaten down a bit.

Gene comes in to talk to the winners and Booty Man says he has an idea. Why do I have a feeling it involves bags of cocaine? Apparently it’s a gimmick match of some sort.

WCW World Title: Lex Luger vs. Ric Flair

No show on the 8^th apparently. Debra McMichael is in the front row which would eventually lead to foreshadowing. Luger challenging Flair for the world title just feels right. Flair struts a lot to start as you would expect. Luger overpowers him as you would also expect. Well at least they’re doing things simply to start. Press slam sends Flair down. This is about the same opening of their matches they always had which is fine.

Flair gets in a shot and works Luger over in the corner. Luger fires away with clotheslines and Flair takes a break. Back in and it’s a straight thumb to the eye to put Luger on defense again. Luger gets going again as this crowd is DEAD. They’ve been this way all night though so it’s not just the match. Luger chases the girls off and Flair is able to get a knee in to take over for about the fourth time.

Bischoff uses the term stomping a mudhole which Austin certainly wasn’t using yet. Heenan talks about taking some time off to relax which I think would set up him being the coach for the Horsemen at the Great American Bash. Figure Four goes on and Luger almost gets pinned in it. Luger gets up and a sunset flip gets two. Superplex to Flair and Luger growls at him. Powerslam hits and Woman pops up with a cup of coffee. Rack goes on but Liz has the referee. Coffee to Luger’s eyes sets up a rollup (and feet on the ropes of course) for Flair to retain.

Rating: C-. This was there for the sake of having a main event. That’s not so bad but at the same time it could have been more. These two could have a passable match in their sleep which is a good thing. At least it wasn’t that bad, but it was there for the sake of being there which is never a good thing. Not awful though.

Heenan says goodbye to the announcers. He has one more thing to say. APRIL FOOL’S! That was awesome as I totally forgot it was April 1.

Overall Rating: D. I wasn’t into this one at all. They were seemingly running around like crazy with no real idea of where they were going with this. It’s not their worst show but it clearly wasn’t one of their better ones. That week off probably helped them a lot as they needed time to recharge. Pretty clear they had no plan for Slamboree other than Lethal Lottery, which sucked. Weak show tonight.

Remember: no show for April 8. Next show will be the one dates April 15.

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