Clash of the Champions Count-Up – #2: How Can Sting/Rhodes vs. The Horsemen Be So Boring?

Clash of the Champions 2: Miami Mayhem
Date: June 8, 1988
Location: James L. Knight Center, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 2,400
Commentators: Bob Caudle, Tony Schiavone

It’s the second show in this series and the main event, while still a big match, isn’t quite Sting vs. Flair for the title. Instead Sting and Dusty are teaming up to take on Arn and Tully for the tag titles. They really didn’t know what they were doing yet with this stuff so it’s kind of hard to know what to expect. We’re building to Bash 88 here so there’s that to look forward to. Let’s get to it.

Various people are here, namely being “celebrities” that aren’t really celebrities.

Ah let’s make sure to talk about the NWA promoters because the NWA actually thinks that either they mean something or that anyone other than them cares.

It’s going to be really hard to take Tony seriously with that mustache. He and Bob run down the card.

US Title: Barry Windham vs. Brad Armstrong

Barry is champion here of course and would hold the title for about 9 months and is a Horseman here. Feeling out process to start as we look at a random sign in the audience instead of an armdrag by Brad. Now let’s look at Dillon in the middle of a move. Are these guys following the TNA playbook for camera cuts? Brad gets a slam and Barry chills on the floor a bit.

Headlock takeover by Brad as we hit the mat. After a solid sequence on the mat, Barry heads into the corner to hide as this is taking its sweet time. Windham starts using his power but can’t hit a big elbow. Crowd is red hot here. Off to the headlock to waste some time and QUIT CUTTING TO THE FREAKING CROWD!!! It’s like this show has ADD or something.

Big slam hits as this is almost all Armstrong. Off to another chinlock as they keep getting going and then stopping which is rather annoying. Windham gets out of the way and the Horseman takes over. Powerslam gets two. Figure four goes on because when you have a monster like Windham, the right thing is to have him use a submission hold on a body part he hasn’t touched all match. This is what we mean by bad psychology.

You know Teddy, if you actually watched the wrestlers you might see something happen. I guess he looks at Dillon’s hair and gets jealous or something. This hold goes on longer than should be humanly possible but that’s wrestling for you I guess. This hold has been on for over two minutes now. Windham is either really bad at this hold or Armstrong has legs of steel.

JJ tries to cheat for about the tenth time so the referee finally breaks it. Slam sets up Barry to go up top, only to miss a big elbow. Brad fires off and the fans are loving this. Top rope cross body gets two. Brad tries a second one but Barry rolls through it and grabs the Claw, his EVIL finisher, for the pin. That was a pretty sweet ending actually.

Rating: C+. Not bad here overall with the fans making this a lot better. The figure four in the middle kills it but the times where they were moving out there were really good. The ending helped it a lot as they needed a good ending to carry it through. Not a great match or anything but Armstrong rarely was bad and this was no exception.

Now it’s time for the show to grind to a screeching halt as we plug a sitcom about wrestling with a football player that will air this fall. It’s called Learning the Ropes which is about a teacher that moonlights as a wrestler and the NWA guys were on the show also. Now here are some of the issues: first of all the football player playing the main character stood about 6’7 and had a dark complexion (white, but with darker skin). He was played by the nearly pale and 6’1 Dr. Death Steve Williams for his matches as he wrestled in a mask as a jobber to the stars. Somehow, this lasted a whole season. The 80s never stop amazing me.

Anyway we’re told that the wrestlers are great athletes and how some of them are better athletes than the football players. We get a clip of the show which is more like a promo for it than a clip. This couldn’t be more 80s if they tried. Naturally this needs to be shown for so much time on Clash of the Champions right?

The Rock N Roll Express return to the company and will be at the Bash. They say they’re awesome.

We see Luger and Flair signing their contract for the title match on a yacht. There are a bunch of NWA guys in there and a bunch of business people that own the Chicago Blackhawks apparently. The NWA never quite got the idea of TV did they? The signing is nothing and they both say nothing of note. Total waste of time here.

The Horsemen arrive, 40 minutes into the show. Granted we’re just told this because we don’t need to see it right?

Back and the Horsemen haven’t arrived yet. Oh ok the Horsemen are but Flair is just getting here. THEN WHY ARE THEY ALL IN FLAIR’S LIMO??? Geez people figure out the basic stuff here. Flair says the Horsemen will keep the titles tonight.

US Tag Titles: Sheepherders vs. Fantastics

The Fantastics are champions here and are Bobby Fulton and Tommy Rogers. The Sheepherders would soon jump to the WWF and change their names to the Bushwhackers. Here though they’re insane heels and rather brutal. They have a flag bearer named Rip Morgan. Luger is just getting here so let’s cut to that before the match starts. The Horsemen jump him and annihilate him, ramming his head into the car and busting him open, which would play a big role in their title match.

Oh hey it’s time for the match. So were the wrestlers just chilling there? I’d bet on a tiddlywinks tournament. Rogers and Butch start us off. Off to Luke almost immediately who gets cross bodied for two. Off to Fulton and the beating begins. We get a weird moment where the Sheepherders can’t figure out who is legal so Fulton just stands there. Out to the floor and everything breaks down. Morgan gets a flag shot in so Fulton drills him.

Fulton vs. Luke in the ring now and Luke takes him down. In theory that is because the camera cut to the crowd to show us that there are in fact people still in the building. Rogers and Luke botch something completely and make what I think was supposed to be a crucifix almost a rollup. Rogers flips through a backdrop and lands on his feet. Everything breaks down again and the Fantastics clear the ring.

Butch vs. Rogers now with Butch taking over. It’s so weird to see him as an evil guy. Off to the chinlock which doesn’t last long. We hit an abdominal stretch as the Sheepherders cheat a lot. Rogers runs into a knee for two. The official time is all over the place as they go from start to five minutes in about four and from five to ten in about three. Fulton comes in and gets stomped down IMMEDIATELY.

Luke hammers away on Fulton as this has been one extreme to the other which is kind of a weird thing to see. Fulton fires back and takes Luke down a few times and knocks Butch down as well but it’s not enough for a tag yet. Here’s another weird part of the match as Fulton takes both Sheepherders down with a cross body and covers both guys. Rogers comes back in and covers both at once again with the referee seeming all cool with it. Both of the Fantastics keep covering both Sheepherders and everyone is cool with this. Weird indeed.

The Sheepherders bail for a bit as this has been more or less a mess. We get an actual tag by the Fantastics and Rogers works on Luke’s arm. Rogers gets knocked to the floor and might have hit his head. Butch throws him into the railing and Tommy takes a belt shot to the back. Where in the world is the referee during all this? After about 12 minutes of wrestling we’re told we’re 15 minutes in.

Chair to the back of Rogers with the referee like a foot away is missed as Rogers has been on the floor for like two minutes now. Back in and there’s STILL no referee for the cover. Heel miscommunication sees Butch hit Luke with a middle rope double axe handle. That goes nowhere because the Sheepherders won’t sell anything. Rogers gets a clothesline and that gets him nowhere at all AGAIN. Rogers rams their heads together and it’s off to Fulton. A rollup to Luke gets the pin that Butch probably broke it up anyway because they needed to end this I guess.

Rating: D. This was weird to say the least. They seemed rather confused out there and the Sheepherders wouldn’t sell a single thing. This would have been far better if they cut this down by about ten minutes but they have to have about 15 minutes a match in the NWA in this era. Not a good match at all which is rare for the Fantastics who I’m a fan of.

Dr. Death sits in on commentary for the next match. He rambles about Luger being awesome and sounds drunk.

Ronnie Garvin/Jimmy Garvin vs. Mike Rotundo/Rick Steiner

It’s Varsity Club time and the Gamesmaster Kevin Sullivan will be in a cage at ringside. There’s a big ordeal going on with the Garvin’s manager Precious and Sullivan which was never really resolved but was getting rather weird indeed. Just a grudge match here. Oh and Rotundo/a is the TV Champion. Steiner is the Florida champion which means nothing. He’s also a clueless putz.

Once again before the match we stop to talk about Luger and cut to Ross because that’s the guy we go to for a big moment I guess. And let’s just reair the thing because no one wants to see this tag match right? Back from a break and it’s a huge brawl. The Garvins hit a double sleeper on both guys before they get sent to the floor. The Varsity guys that is. Sullivan keeps looking at Precious and has something in his coat for her. They’re papers apparently. From what I understand this was supposed to result in an abortion storyline and that was WAY too hardcore for the 80s so it was dropped.

Ronnie gets two on Rick in the ring. Jimmy gets a hammerlock on Rick as we talk about Luger even more. There’s talk of the Tower of Doom which was one of if not the biggest mess you’ll ever see. Sullivan keeps pulling out papers that he wants to show Precious who keeps staring her down and she agrees to something or other. Oh and there’s a tag match going on too.

She has the key to the cage apparently. Rotundo works on Ronnie’s arm as Williams says he’s going to wrestle Rotundo later. Jimmy keeps running off to fight Sullivan even though he’s in a cage. The Varsity guys keep working on Ronnie’s arm as the match means nothing at all. Jimmy finally comes in and beats on Rick for a bit but that might be too interesting so let’s go with a front facelock for awhile.

This is an incredibly boring match as just like almost every match so far tonight they’ve been given way too much time. This is a two hour show and there are five matches. Since there are very few entrances and more or less no long term promos, there’s way too much time in these matches. Ronnie rolls up Rick for two. Off to Rotundo and since Garvin is the worst former world champion ever, Rotundo takes over with relative ease.

The Varsity Club works over Ron as we see Sullivan with the paper again. This needs to end and it needs to end very soon. The tag rope is used to choke Ron and he gets sent to the floor. Everything breaks down again and it’s Rick vs. Jimmy in the ring. Precious goes over to Sullivan who steals the key. Jimmy hits a brainbuster to win over Rick and Precious goes for the papers. Sullivan goes after her and Steve Williams makes the save.

Rating: D. Another match that is boring and way too long, although to be fair with the story being Precious and Sullivan there’s only so much that they can do. Not an interesting match as if you’re going to have a match as a backdrop for a story, don’t have the match be nearly 15 minutes long. Didn’t work at all.

Post match Precious pushes Jimmy away and leaves on her own. To say this was a mess was an understatement.

Road Warriors vs. Powers of Pain in a scaffold match is announced. This would never happen as the Powers jumped to the WWF because they didn’t want to have a scaffold match due to fear of that pesky death thing.

We talk about the Tower of Doom now because we need to waste more time I guess.

Al Perez vs. Nikita Koloff

Koloff you’ve probably heard of. Perez is a heel that is of no consequence for the most part. This is a challenge/grudge match or something like that. They stare each other down for awhile and Nikita shoves him around a lot. Nikita dominates here in one of the least interesting matches I’ve ever seen. The announcers just talk about the Horsemen to fill in time.

Gary Hart, Perez’s manager, interferes and Perez takes over for a bit. This is one of those matches that just keeps going and going with no one caring in the slightest. Hart interferes again and this keeps staying in first gear at best. After Nikita stays on the floor for a bit we hit the chinlock back in the ring. Camel clutch goes on and Koloff gets an electric chair drop to escape.

Koloff is knocked to the floor again because we haven’t been out there long enough in this never ending match yet right? Perez can’t suplex him so Nikita gets one of his own. Nikita makes his comeback and hammers away in the corner before he sends Perez to the floor. And here’s Larry Zbyszko to run in for the DQ and triple beatdown.

Rating: F. End this show already. Another boring match here with a stupid ending that was given about 8 minutes too long which makes the wrestling really boring in the process. This feud of course went nowhere and no one cared, but that’s the NWA for you. No wonder they went out of business.

World Tag Titles: Tully Blanchard/Arn Anderson vs. Sting/Dusty Rhodes

No entrance for the champions. Sting and Arn to start with Sting frustrating him badly. Sting works on the arm as we praise Dusty for no apparent reason. Off to Tully and Sting abuses him a bit too. Dusty, the STAR here I guess, comes in and beats on Tully a bit also. Tully does his usual great selling and it’s time for a figure four by Dusty who of course butchers the thing.

Arn gets a shot in and the Horsemen take over. Clothesline takes Tully down. Oh wait he’s from Texas so it’s a lariat. Off to Sting who cleans a few rooms. He tries the Scorpion on Blanchard but the Horsemen fight him off and send him into the post on the floor. Arn misses a Vader Bomb but Tully stops the tag.

Time to work on the arm which is pure Horsemen to put it mildly. Arn DDTs him on the floor which should kill Sting but JJ throws him back in. Nice guy that JJ. In an unintentionally funny spot, a DDT on the floor gets a one count. That’s just amusing. Backslide gets two for Sting and it’s a collision with him and Tully. Tag off to Dusty and everything breaks down. Dusty shoves the referee and the whole thing is thrown out as Windham, Rhodes’ future opponent, runs in to put the Claw on Dusty. The Horsemen beat down everyone and stand tall to end the show.

Rating: D+. This was just there and another thrown out ending makes my eyes roll a lot. Sting wouldn’t do much for the rest of the year and Dusty would of course get a title somehow. Flair would hold the title forever and this whole feud with Luger would drag on for years with Luger never getting the pin over Flair. Almost a token main event here which isn’t a good thing at all.

Overall Rating: D-. Oh jeez this got bad in a hurry. The last hour is just mind numbingly uninteresting. Nothing really happens here and there are no long term implications of anything really. The Bash had nothing of note happening on it either as the champions were all the same by Starrcade. Weak show and a bad followup to the great first edition of this. The same problem runs through this whole show: WAY too long matches because the NWA thought long meant good, which was rarely the case.

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Horsemen to the Hall of Fame Also

I think I can live with this too.  Still no Savage though?  Really?  Wait…..Benoit is in the HOF now.  Interesting.

 

 

Thoughts on this?




Clash of the Champions 13 – The Worst Kind Of Show

Clash of the Champions #13: Thanksgiving Thunder
Date: November 20, 1990
Location: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul E. Dangerously

We’re in a very dark era for WCW at this point as it’s the final days of the Black Scorpion story. This show is probably the lowest point that it reached for reasons that you’ll see. Basically, there’s some guy in a black suit running around taunting Sting and no one knows who he is. There have been a lot of false alarms and hints which tried to imply it was Ultimate Warrior, but you would have to be a BIG old school fan to get that. Anyway it sucks but let’s get to it.

After a very basic intro which is pretty downplayed by comparison to most of their videos.

JR and Paulie talk about the show. The main event is Flair vs. Butch Reed. If Reed wins, Teddy Long gets Flair’s yacht and limo but if Flair wins, the Horsemen get a tag title shot and Teddy has to be Flair’s chauffeur.

Freebirds/Bobby Eaton vs. Southern Boys/El Gigante

The Birds have an annoying manager named Little Richard Marley (jobber Rocky King) with them. And never mind as Hayes says El Gigante got beaten up and sent back to Argentina so it’s just going to be a tag match.

Freebirds vs. Southern Boys

Eaton gets thrown out. Garvin vs. Smothers starts us off. This is a two and a half hour show (TV time that is) and we have 11 matches so most of them are going to be short. The Southern Boys clean house and send the Birds to the floor. The lighting is TERRIBLE in the arena here. Hayes isn’t really the kind of guy that can make glittery purple pants look tough.

The Birds get knocked to the floor again and we eventually get to Garvin vs. Tracy Smothers (his partner is Steve Armstrong). Garvin gets slammed off the top and the Birds double team. So then Armstrong goes one up on them with a double clothesline off the top. Marley gets up on the apron as the Southern Boys take over. Marley trips Smothers as Armstrong dives onto Garvin, allowing Hayes to DDT Smothers for the cheap pin.

Rating: D-. Well that match was worthless. I never cared for either of these teams and this was a pretty good example as to why. Who in the world thought this was going to be an entertaining match? Nothing interesting here at all and the Birds might have used three moves other than a slam. Terribly uninteresting.

Here’s Sting who is fired up to be face to face with the Black Scorpion. And that’s it. This was like 30 seconds long. Oh wait we’re not done. The Black Scorpion’s voice comes over the PA (it’s Ole Anderson, the same voice as the Shockmaster) who says that we’ll see his great powers of black magic tonight.

Buddy Landell vs. Brian Pillman

Pillman has the Bengals trunks now and is way popular. Landell looks exactly like Flair and even is nicknamed Nature Boy. He jumps Pillman to start and beats him down. Brian tries for some quick pins but once they don’t work he just knocks Buddy to the floor and dives onto him onto the ramp. A piledriver out there doesn’t work and back into the ring they go. They fight to the floor and Landell sends him to the post.

Even Dangerously says that Landell is a Flair clone. I’m not sure I get the point in having a Flair character at the same time Flair was there but he had been doing it for years so it’s not like this is some quick character for him. He was popular enough on his own too. Out to the floor again and Pillman hits a SWEET springboard crossbody to send Landell into the railing. Dang that man could fly. Abdominal stretch by Buddy is followed by a backbreaker for two. Pillman blocks a superplex and hits a top rope cross body for a very quick pin.

Rating: C. This was again short but they had a decent little match out there. Pillman was a rising star and would be in WarGames the next year (almost getting killed in the process but that’s another review for another time). This was a very basic power/brawler vs. speed match but it worked out pretty well I thought.

Big Cat vs. Brad Armstrong

Cat is more famous as Curtis Hughes and is one of three monster heels in a loose stable at this point. He wanted Luger and I don’t remember them ever fighting. Armstrong is the Candyman here because he’s only had 9485 stupid gimmicks in his career and needed another. What exactly that name means isn’t exactly mentioned but who needs to know that?

Power vs. speed here. Basically picture Big Zeke for an image of Big Cat. As for what happens in this, picture any power monster vs. speed face match that you’ve ever seen and you have that here. Cat hits a trio of backbreakers and Armstrong is in trouble. There’s a bearhug to continue the predictable basis of this one. Armstrong makes a very quick comeback but gets caught in a Torture Rack (stolen from Luger to further the feud) and the referee stops it.

Rating: D. Like I said, this was every power vs. speed match you’ve ever seen. Paint by numbers would be a good name for this. It’s not horrible I guess, but I’ve seen this sort of thing so many times that there’s nothing to be gained from it. It did its job well enough though so it’s not a total waste of time.

Dick the Bruiser is a scary man and says he’ll be at Starrcade to referee the main event.

Z-Man vs. Brian Lee

Lee is more famous as either a guy in ECW, the Fake Undertaker in 1994 or Chainz in the early Attitude Era. More speed vs. big guy here but Lee isn’t quite a full power guy. He’s more tall than strong. Z-Man speeds things up but misses a cross body and crashes to let Lee take over. Off to a chinlock as this is going nowhere. Z-Man easily comes back and a missile dropkick ends this.

Rating: F. This show SUCKS. This was another match that did nothing at all and was just there which is getting really old really fast. Lee was awful and from what I can find this is his official tryout match. To the shock of no one, he didn’t get a job out of it. Nothing match and it didn’t work at all.

Mike Rotundo is officially Michael Wallstreet after inheriting a lot of money. He’s got a new manager in the form of Alexandra York who says the computer says if Wallstreet follows the plan, he’ll beat Starblazer with ease tonight. This angle lasted longer than it should have but almost got good near the end.

Starblazer vs. Michael Wallstreet

Apparently Starblazer is (mostly) career jobber Tim Horner under a mask. How can we possibly be five matches into this show? York (Terri Runnels) shows him the computer’s plan and the fans chant boring less than a minute into this. Starblazer hits some fast dropkicks to send him to the floor. Join the WCW Fan Club! Back in they speed things up and Wallstreet throws him to the floor. Blazer makes a brief comeback and they fight over a Boston Crab for some reason. This FINALLY ends with the Wallstreet Crash, a Samoan Drop, for the pin.

Rating: D-. I have never seen a crowd that dead for a match. I mean they were not moving in the slightest. Wallstreet was such a boring character and they didn’t really ever develop him at all. He was at least better as IRS due to the character having something to talk about. Still though, bad match.

The WCW Top Ten:

Tag teams first.

10. Norman The Lunatic/The Juicer
9. Big Cat/Motor City Madman
8. Tim Horner/Candyman
7. Master Blasters
6. Southern Boys
5. Ricky Morton/Tommy Rich
4. Freebirds
3. Nasty Boys
2. Ric Flair/Arn Anderson
1. Steiner Brothers

Singles:

10. Bobby Eaton
9. Z-Man
8. Michael Wallstreet
7. Brian Pillman
6. Terry Taylor
5. Arn Anderson
4. Ric Flair
3. Lex Luger
2. Sid Vicious
1. Stan Hansen

Here’s a video about the International Tag Team Tournament which had one team from a bunch of countries/continents.

Ready for something that’s bordering on full blown racism?

African Tag Team Tournament Finals: Colonel DeKlerk/Sergeant Krueger vs. Kalua/Botswana Beast

DeKlerk is Rocco Rock before he gained a ton of work. I have no idea who Beast and Kalua are and I can’t find any information on them at all. Probably local guys. Naturally the “Africans” (yeah they’re just from Africa, even if one is named Botswana Beast) are black and the white South Africans are pretty American, as Krueger is Matt Osborne, as in Doink the Clown/Big Josh.

Krueger starts with let’s say Kalua. At least the Africans (as in not the white South Africans) are in regular tights and not tribal attire. Dangerously talks about how great DeKlerk is and all the titles he’s held on different continents. DeKlerk busts out a standing Lionsault but lands almost in a reverse DDT. Beast is a huge man and no sells a lot while his gut shakes. Beast destroys DeKlerk but gets caught with a clothesline. Another powerslam puts DeKlerk down for two. Things break down and they do the slam with a dropkick to the back for the pin as DeKlerk pins Beast.

Rating: F. It was stupid, they’re not from Africa, and I feel like I need to report this to Jesse Jackson. Just dreadful and the match SUCKED on top of that.

Sam Muchnick invites us to watch Starrcade in St. Louis. Old school fans will smile at that.

Recap of Luger vs. Hansen for the US Title, which is about Hansen FINALLY ending the title reign of Luger went on over 19 months. He did it clean too.

Vignette of Paul E. and his Motorcity Madman, another of that trio of heels I mentioned earlier.

Luger isn’t worried about the Madman. He wants Hansen but Big Cat shows up. Luger punches him once, Cat goes down, Luger goes to the ring. Cat gets up and says that was a mistake. Luger looked AWESOME there.

Motorcity Madman vs. Lex Luger

Madman is a nobody who got a cup of coffee in WCW and nothing happened with him. Lex is just ungodly popular. Big Cat sneaks up on Lex and they slug it out. Cat gets beaten back until referees break it up. The Madman jumps Luger as literally the entire two front rows are walking out at the exact same time. They must have been from somewhere else in the arena because the rows are full. There must have been 30-40 people walking though. Lex mostly suplexes the big guy as this is really just a power display for Lex. Madman hits a forearm and side slam but Lex hits a clothesline for the quick pin. Just a squash.

Nick Patrick speaks for the referees and says they’re worried about the Steiners vs. the Nasties. Ok then.

Renegade Warriors vs. Nasty Boys

They’re Chris and Mark Youngblood, a regular tag team who are Indians. JR says if the Nasties can beat the Steiners, he’ll quit announcing. Paulie FREAKS and is now Nasty Fan #1. Mark starts with Sags. It quickly turns into a brawl with Knobs taking over. Chris helps cheat which sets up an armbar. Back to Mark and now it’s Sags getting his arm worked on. Out to the floor and Knobs sends Mark into the railing. Chris bangs on a tom tom drum so Knobs DDTs Mark’s arm. Really bad match so far. The Steiners FINALLY run in and beat down the Nasties, probably as punishment for this. It’s a double DQ.

Rating: F. Oh just AWFUL here. The only thing people wanted to see was a brawl between the Nasties and Steiners, but somehow the WWF was able to get the Nasties over to WWF very quickly after this. I mean this is November and the Nasties were at the Rumble in January. I’ve never gotten how that can be done but it happened in this case.

Vader is back.

Sid Vicious vs. Nightstalker

Nightstalker is Brian Clark, or Adam Bomb. I remember seeing Nightstalker coming down the aisle and that exact camera angle watching this as a kid. I love stuff like that. Sid is a Horseman and very popular here. Test of strength to start which is won by Sid but Stalker hooks a bearhug. He talks to Sid the whole time. Clearly they’re exchanging green bean casserole recipies.

Sid pounds him into the corner and JR says this won’t be pretty. Sid’s arm is hurt and this is going nowhere. We get a rib claw and here’s Big Cat AGAIN. What is this, his 4th appearance? Sid knocks him down so Stalker brings in his ax. Yes, an ax. Sid gets it, hits Stalker with it, and gets the pin.

Rating: F. GET RID OF BIG CAT. He’s nothing interesting, he’s more boring than Big Zeke Jackson, and he’s been in half the matches tonight. Nothing to see here and a horribly bad match. Also, there’s the fact that SID HIT HIM WITH AN AX TO END THE THING. Let that sink in for a minute.

The Freebirds pat themselves on the back until the Southern Boys come up. Garvin offers to fights with an arm behind his back and here’s El Gigante to chase them off.

Missy Hyatt hypes an upcoming TV show.

We look at the Steiners attacking the Nasties earlier.

Steiner Brothers vs. Magnum Force

I can’t find who Magnum Force is anywhere. They’re one of those old school teams referred to as Magnum Force #1 and Magnum Force #2. The Steiners are the US Tag Champions but this is non-title. Scott starts with let’s say #1. The people are walking AGAIN. There has to be something to that. Rick vs. #2 in now. This is going nowhere. A quick Steiner Line ends this and the Nasties run in. Total squash and the Nasties run quickly.

The Horsemen say they’ll win. The official main event hasn’t been announced yet but it’s Flair or Arn vs. Reed or Simmons.

We recap Sting vs. Black Scorpion. The idea is that it’s someone from Sting’s past (eventually supposed to be Angel of Death, who no one was going to remember) and he’s trying to take Sting out. Sting beat a fake one at a previous Clash but the real one came down later. Then in Chicago, the Scorpion kidnapped a fan, put him in a magician’s box, and made him disappear. Then the Scorpion interrupted a title match. Tonight, they’re going to have a chat.

Sting comes out for the Danger Zone, Paulie’s talk show. He says a little bit and here’s the Scorpion to kidnap another fan. The “fan” gets a box put on his head and his “head” is spun around 360 degrees. Then he gets put in a cage and turned into a leopard. And remember, This was supposed to be the TOP HEEL ANGLE OF THE YEAR. Scorpion jumps into a box and disappears. He was narrating the thing the whole time but you couldn’t understand 90% of it.

I mean WOW. This is a fine example of what we mean by “insulting our intelligence.” This was a bad magic show, not a wrestling match. At the end of the day it wound up being Flair under the mask, which makes the whole thing even dumber. I have no idea what Ole Anderson was on when he thought this was a good idea, but man I want some of it.

We recap Doom vs. The Horsemen. They both wanted to be on The Danger Zone and it all broke down. They had a match at Halloween Havoc where it was thrown out. The aforementioned bet was made: yacht/limo vs. title shot/Teddy as a chauffeur.

All four guys come out and there are coin flips to determine who the singles guys are.

Ric Flair vs. Butch Reed

Power vs. Flair here and you know he knows how to work that match. Reed uses power and punches him out a lot. There’s the press slam and Flair is in trouble early. After a brief fight on the ramp we go back inside and Reed hooks a backslide for two. A dropkick puts Flair down but he goes to the eyes like a Horseman. He tosses Reed to the floor thanks to an accidental distraction from Simmons.

Anderson adds in some cheating on the floor but back inside they trade chops and Reed gets a slight advantage. There’s a Flair Flop and a Flair Flip, resulting in him getting popped in the face by Simmons. Flair takes over and hits a knee drop but a second one misses. Reed slaps on a figure four and Flair’s leg is in trouble.

After Flair makes the rope he avoids a middle rope elbow and Reed is in trouble. It turns into a slugout and they need to wrap this up. Reed really likes gorilla presses. He goes up top for a shoulder block but it basically hits Flair’s knee. I don’t think he was aiming for it but there you go. Reed gets sent to the floor where the referee was and everyone is down. Anderson clocks Reed with a chair and Flair steals the pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty good match but the last five minutes weigh it down a bit. The ending is a big mess but the idea was that Simmons got lost in it and therefore couldn’t make a save. It’s certainly not bad and is easily the best match of the night, but to be fair given what you had up to that point, that shouldn’t surprise anyone. Decent stuff, but cutting four minutes or so off would have made it way better.

The big WCW letters are tilted to the left for some reason.

Overall Rating: D-. This is the worst kind of show: the boring kind. Other than the main event which is just ok, there’s nothing going on here worth seeing. That’s what I can’t stand reviewing: shows where it’s clear no one is giving any effort and no one wants to be there. It was a horribly dull show with nothing at all to see. Steer FAR clear of this one.




Crockett Cup 1988 – Thank Goodness This Is The Last One

Crockett Cup 1988
Date: April 22, 1988/April 23, 1988
Location: Greenville Memorial Auditorium, Greenville, South Carolina/Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 4,400/6,300
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone

It’s the final one of these and this is by far the most complicated of all. As usual the tournament was scheduled to have 24 teams, but there were a bunch of messes involved in it, which I’ll get to in a minute. This is another two night tag team tournament for the sake of having a two night tag team tournament. The NWA is in trouble to the WWF at this point, but Ted Turner would be coming in for the save soon. Let’s get to it.

First off, the brackets. There are two teams with byes listed, which is the result of a lot of storyline stuff. If you’re not interested in why there are byes, skip ahead to the brackets themselves. Lex Luger and Barry Windham were world tag team champions as faces, but two days before the tournament, Windham turned heel and joined the Horsemen, giving Anderson/Blanchard the tag titles. Windham also took the spot in the Horsemen that Luger had been kicked out of, starting a huge feud. That’s one team gone.

The reigning champions of the tournament, the Super Powers (Nikita Koloff/Dusty Rhodes) were taken out because Rhodes was suspended from the company for 120 days because he hit the boss with a ball bat (also causing him to be stripped of the US Title). Since he was gone, Nikita had no partner so he was given a world title shot on this show as well. There are two teams gone.

Sting and Ronnie Garvin were scheduled to team together as one of the teams automatically in the second round. However, during another of the non-tournament matches, Garvin was injured by Kevin Sullivan so Sting was paired with Lex Luger and they would go on in the tournament. So to sum up, we’re down two teams of the original 24 to make it 22, meaning that one team is automatically going to the semi-finals after one win.

So you got all that?

Here are the brackets. As usual, the team in parentheses is the team that the winners will face in round 2.

Johnny Ace/John Savage
Brad Armstrong/Tim Horner
(Midnight Express)

Cruel Connection
Sheepherders
(Midnight Express)*

Ivan Koloff/Dick Murdoch
Mighty Wilbur/Jimmy Valiant
(Lex Luger/Sting)

Chris Champion/Mark Starr
Twin Devils
(Powers of Pain)

Rocky King/Nelson Royal
Tiger Conway Jr./Shaska Whatley
(Road Warriors)

Green Machine/Terminator
Italian Stallion/Kendall Windham
(Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard)

Bye/Bye
Bye/Bye
(Bye/Bye)**

Joe Cruz/Ricky Santana
Al Perez/Larry Zbyszko
(Fantastics)

Varsity Club
Ron Simmons/Steve Williams
(N/A)***

Ok so on to the asterisks.

* – Since there weren’t enough teams to have a first round, the winner of Sheepherders/Armstrong/Horner gets the match against the Midnight Express.

** – Anderson/Blanchard are in the spot where the winner of the second round match goes on to the semi-finals.

*** – For some reason the Varsity Club and Simmons/Williams are already in the second round. The winner of that faces whoever comes out of the three teams above them in the third round.

So you got all that too? Let’s have some bad tag matches!

Also remember this is the home video version, so there’s A LOT of clipping.

Crockett Cup First Round: Mighty Wilbur/Jimmy Valiant vs. Dick Murdoch/Ivan Koloff

Wilbur is a very fat hillbilly. He and Koloff start us off. There was no intro or anything like that so we’re really thrown into things quickly here. Wilbur throws them around with ease and it’s off to Valiant who dances a lot. Valiant takes over and it’s off to Murdoch. Koloff comes in and Valiant no sells a lot so it’s back to Wilbur. They’re clipping some here I think but it’s done better than usual. Murdoch hits a knee to the back of Valiant and the Sickle ends this.

Crockett Cup Second Round: Ron Simmons/Steve Williams vs. Varsity Club

Steiner/Rotunda for the Club here. Williams tries to wrestle Williams and he gets punched in the face for his efforts. Williams runs through both opponents as only he could. He was the Brock Lesnar of his day so expect some high impact dominance. After destroying Steiner for fun it’s off to Simmons who is no slouch either as far as power goes. Off to Rotunda again who is the talented member here.

Simmons keeps up the football power style but he gets caught by a cheap shot from Steiner to give the Varsity Club the advantage. A lot of Simmons getting beaten down is clipped here which is probably good due to the sake of time. Oh yeah there’s some clipping as we go from Rotunda hitting Simmons to a shot of the crowd to a big brawl. Simmons is sent to the floor and Kevin Sullivan gets a shot in on him, giving the Varsity Club the countout win.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but the clipping takes away however good it could have been. The Varsity Club reached some pretty high levels on the heel totem pole in the next year and you could see it starting with this one, as they were totally outmatched but used numbers and cheating to advance. Could have been a lot better with time and no clipping.

That’s all we see of round one but the brackets are really confusing so I’ll wait for round three before I update the brackets. Nothing of note happens in round one so you’re not missing any upsets.

Crockett Cup Second Round: Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard vs. Italian Stallion/Kendall Windham

The Horsemen are tag champions. Windham is Barry’s real life brother but he and Stallion are jobbers. Kendall looks like Magnum TA, almost the point where I’d believe he was copied from his look. Stallion is a big power guy. Anderson shrugs off some offense and pounds away on the arm and ribs before bringing Tully back in. I keep thinking that when they cut to a shot of the crowd that they’re clipping but it’s just an NWA thing.

Off to Windham vs. Anderson and there’s the spinebuster (has a name here) and we’re clipped to Windham fighting back. Stallion comes in and we’re clipped again to Stallion making the comeback. And never mind as he ducks his head in front of Arn and since that’s just stupid, the DDT sends the Horsemen on to the semi-finals due to a bye. Too short and clipped to be rated.

Crockett Cup Second Round: Road Warriors vs. Jive Tones

The Jive Tones are Whatley and Conway. Animal runs over Whatley and things break down quickly. Animal is all like oh please and throws them both off the corner at once. Hawk comes in and just mauls people. Animal just shrugs them off again and brings in Hawk who hits a dropkick (one footed but whatever) and a top rope clothesline ends Whatley. Total squash.

Crockett Cup Second Round: Fantastics vs. Al Perez/Larry Zbyszko

The Fantastics were US Tag Champions at this point. Perez vs. Rogers starts us off. I like the Fantastics so this should be good. Rogers tries to speed things up as is his custom but Larry slips in a knee to break that up. Larry tries a backdrop but Rogers lands on his feet (SWEET) and it’s off to Fulton. Fulton and Perez speed things up a bit and Perez is in WAY over his head here. The heels take over on Fulton and we’re told we’re ten minute in as Fulton gets the pin on Larry off a very fast small package. Again, not long enough to rate.

Crockett Cup Second Round: Sting/Lex Luger vs. Dick Murdoch/Ivan Koloff

Sting is still very new on the national stage so Luger is the veteran here, despite having been in the big time less than two years. Luger runs over Koloff and must have done so for awhile because the opening has some clipping. Off to Sting who is as over as free beer. They have Magnum TA with them also so who do you think the popular team is? Sting escapes the corner but Murdoch takes him down by the arm.

Sting gets beaten down in the heel corner and Ross says don’t bother hitting Murdoch in the face because he won’t care. He gets knocked to the floor and Murdoch adds a chair to the back of Sting. Back in and Sting fires off a quick Stinger Splash to break things up. Everything breaks down and Sting reverses a slam into a small package for two that we’ll call three.

Rating: C-. Not a horrible match here but the clipping hurt it a lot. That’s the same thing that you can say about the whole show for the most part as it’s hard to get into a match when you keep clipping things up and taking out so much from each of the matches. Also, it’s not like there was any doubt as to who wins here, but that goes for almost all tournaments.

Crockett Cup Second Round: Sheepherders vs. Midnight Express

Big brawl to start and I think they’re all heels here. I can never remember when the Express turned face but it was huge at the time. Eaton gets double teamed and goes to the floor with Luke. Everything breaks down and Eaton pops Butch with the tennis racket for the pin. This was a mess.

That’s it for the first two rounds so here are the quarterfinals.

Midnight Express
Lex Luger/Sting

Powers of Pain
Road Warriors

Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard
BYE

Fantastics
Varsity Club

Jimmy Garvin vs. Kevin Sullivan

This is a Prince of Darkness Deathmatch, which means blindfold match. Clipped to them stumbling around until they get their hands on each other in the corner. Garvin keeps trying to point while the fans cheer him. Now logic would ask why he would do that if Precious is outside and he can presumably hear her. Also, if anything goes, why not rip the mask off? The idiocy of the match is that they keep stumbling around without any contact. And there’s a small package (move of the night so far) from Garvin for the pin. Horrible on all levels.

Rick Steiner and Ronnie Garvin come out for the beatdown and save. Ronnie takes a spike to the chest which would be the injury that kept him out of the tournament.

Up next is the final of the Bunkhouse Stampede, which aired on a PPV of the same name in January. The match is clipped here but I’m not watching it again so here’s the full version from the PPV.

Bunkhouse Stampede

Dusty Rhodes, Tully Blanchard, Ivan Koloff, The Warlord (wearing a Lifeguard shirt for no apparent reason), Arn Anderson, Lex Luger, The Barbarian, Animal.

Dusty gets a big entrance of course with all his accomplishments listed. Did I mention he was booking at the time? Seriously, ONLY DUSTY had anything listed about him, including the match he won to qualify here, his world title reigns, his US Title reigns, and his TV Title reigns. No one else got anything but their normal entrances. This could get bad fast. All eight are in there at once. There aren’t any weapons like promised or anything.

Remember, it’s a battle royal in a cage where you have to throw them over the ropes or through the door. My goodness this is idiotic. Apparently it’s unheard of for someone to win three straight Bunkhouse Stampedes. That could be because this is THE THIRD ONE! Wow Dusty lowered some IQs. Everyone is in some screwed up street clothes of some kind and this is just idiotic.

Apparently the referee has to determine if a guy goes over the cage or through the door, since that’s overly complicated I guess. Wow shoving people OVER A CAGE looks stupid. See, when it was a regular battle royal, IT MADE SENSE. Blanchard and Anderson work together of course. Barbarian, Warlord and Koloff are in the same stable mind you so they’ll likely work together. Koloff and Dusty climb the cage due to idiocy.

I’m watching people try to throw PEOPLE over a cage. Does that sound stupid to you or is it just me? How hard would it be to throw someone that is fighting back over a cage wall? Because to me, IT SOUNDS IMPOSSIBLE. Also, there are a lot of people walking around on the top ropes which is just freaking stupid too. No one is out or anything yet.

Arn saves himself from being thrown out the door as I realize how much this sounds like a really bad comedy sketch. Koloff is bleeding. Winner gets half a millon dollars. Not sure if I said that or not but I don’t want to stop the tape long enough to go back and read it. I feel sorry for Ross and Caudle trying to make this sound interesting or intense or whatever it’s supposed to be.

Luger and Dusty just go off as we’re supposed to believe that a guy that is built like Dusty is supposed to be in the same kind of condition as a stallion like Luger. Right. Oh yeah, and keep in mind this whole cowboy southern thing is in NEW YORK CITY. They continue to try to make this sound good and it’s just failing. Wow this was ten days before I was born and 12 before Hogan lost the world title to Andre. Holy crap that’s weird to think about.

Still no one out and we’re almost 15 minutes into this. It’s mainly just people in jeans hitting people with belts and boots. Yeah it’s riveting in case you can’t tell. Dusty’s arm is bleeding from being worked over with a belt. Make this stop please. Animal tries to shove Anderson over the top. I want to break this match.

Koloff, like an idiot, although at this time he’s one of two former world champions in there somehow, climbs over the cage to get away from Animal and gets knocked out to take us down to seven. Oh sweet mercy kill me now. So let’s just keep the camera on Koloff FOREVER as we see the EPIC DRAMA of him standing up. Animal and Warlord fight to the door and Warlord gets knocked to the door. Animal gets kicked in the head by Barbarian and it knocks both guys out in a stupid looking spot.

We have Dusty, Luger, Anderson, Blanchard and Barbarian left. Blanchard gets put in the Rack which at least hurts him. Some fan shouts about how freaking gay this is. Thanks for that. Luger takes a Gourdbuster and the Horsemen try to throw him out. Since Luger didn’t have any gourds on him though, he was fine and stays in.

Anderson, Luger and Blanchard fight by the door and they all go out after like three minutes of fighting. Arn at one point stood on the third step and choked Luger. Yeah he deserved to lose. So we have Barbarian vs. Dusty. Any bets on who wins here? Barbarian gets some brass knuckles and pops Dusty with them. Barbarian hits like three of his top rope headbutt finishers but Dusty fights back baby!

They climb to the top rope for the epic move known as the OH NO THIS MATCH MAKES NO SENSE SO LET’S CLIMB UP SO WE CAN HAVE A REASON TO GET THROWN OVER THE CAGE! Yep, Dusty wins by hitting the elbow to the head and we’re done. Earl Hebner is the referee here but would be in WWF in 12 days for the famous twin angle. Dusty gets a big bronze cowboy boot. Give me a FREAKING BREAK!

We hear about Dusty was considering retiring before this but came back “for the people.” So he was about to leave and came back for the people. So apparently by coming back for the people, he just had to come up with a PPV for himself and put himself over in it. Sure why not.

Rating: F. There was a cage match with a battle royal going on. This was a MASSIVE love letter from Dusty to Dusty. This was all about getting him even FURTHER over and making things look even stupider. Somehow Dusty was the wildcard and the favorite at the same time. He’s US Champion already but was going to retire. I give up. Just a joke of a main event and a show.

Crockett Cup Quarterfinals: Powers of Pain vs. Road Warriors

This is the only match shown from this round. Barbarian vs. Animal gets us going and Animal sends him to the floor with a powerslam. It goes to the floor and the Warriors take over again. Hawk throws the wooden steps at Barbarian and kind of hits him. Paul Jones, the Powers’ manager, freaks out about it to no avail. Hawk vs. Warlord now and Hawk takes over, hitting a middle rope punch for two.

Double teaming by the bad guys take over and Hawk gets beaten down a bit. There’s a big boot to put Hawk down for two. There’s a powerslam for the same. This is kind of winding down I think. Bearhug time which is required in a power match. Hawk kicks him low to escape a full nelson but Barbarian comes in again for a bearhug of his own. There’s some heel miscommunication though and Hawk takes Barbarian down with a clothesline. There’s a hot tag to Animal who cleans house. Animal accidentally clotheslines the referee and everything breaks down. Animal pins Barbarian, Dusty Finish, Powers of Pain win. Blow me.

Rating: D+. The match was ok and then we get a bogus finish to tick off the crowd. It was about Animal hitting the referee by mistake so the Warriors get disqualified. This wasn’t much of a match but considering the circumstances, this was better than it could have been. Either way, it was nice to see a full match.

James J. Dillon vs. Midnight Rider

This is a bullrope match and Rider is Dusty under a mask, but the idea is he’s NOT Dusty which everyone, namely Dillon, knows. You win by pinfall here. Dillon is a manager and part time wrestler and if he wins here then the Rider is unmasked. If it’s Dusty, he’s gone for a year. Why not just write it on a freaking wall then? They’re in street clothes here and Dillon is busted open pretty quickly. Rider uses Dusty’s moves and it’s kind of a wink wink situation. A top rope cowbell shot ends this squash.

Post match another huge masked man comes out after the Rider and the heels beat Dusty down. Steve Williams comes out and gets beaten down as well.

Crockett Cup Semifinals – Sting/Lex Luger vs. Powers of Pain

Sting starts us off with the Warlord and they botch a headscissors spot. Sting gets beaten down again but comes out of the corner with a spinning cross body for two. Magnum goes after Paul Jones and hits him with the riding crop because he’s a mean person. Barbarian dominates a test of strength but Sting manages a monkey flip off the ropes, which I don’t think I’ve ever seen before.

Off to Lex and the good guys are in total control here. We’re at five minutes in and I think it’s been clipped at least a little bit. Barbarian takes over with a powerslam and a BIG boot to rattle Sting’s brain a bit. Everything breaks down again and the fans really don’t care. Know how I know that? The cameraman decides to put the camera on them and show us how boring they are. Warlord picks up Luger but Sting dropkicks Luger’s back so he falls on Warlord for the pin.

Rating: C. I’ve seen worse here and the crowd (while looking bored) at least made some decent noise. At this point and coming into the semi-finals you could clearly see what was going to be the finals and probably the winner. Nothing too bad here and you could see the great teamwork from Sting and Luger that would be around for years and years to come.

Crockett Cup Semifinals – Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard vs. Fantastics

This should be awesome. Rogers vs. Blanchard to get us going and as usual the Horsemen don’t start out that well. Double teaming puts Blanchard down and the Fantastics dance a bit. Off to Arn vs. Fulton as the champions take over. Fulton is sent into the post on the floor and rolls back in to get beaten up by Blanchard a bit more. Fulton’s tights are half down.

The heels naturally cheat because they’re Horsemen and that’s what they do. Anderson comes in and pounds away even more, but it’s Fulton with a facejam and there’s the hot tag to Rodgers. The Fantastics hit double dropkicks all around and the Rocket Launcher hits Anderson but he’s illegal. Teddy counts it for two anyway and Tully makes the save. Anderson pops in with JJ’s shoe and that’s enough to pin Rodgers.

Rating: C+. Short but it’s still pretty easily the best tournament match of the night so far. The Horsemen vs. Luger/Sting is something you really can’t screw up and I don’t think they will here. Not a classic or anything like that but it’s still a pretty solid match. There was clipping but that’s the nature of the beast on this show.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Nikita Koloff

Flair runs his mouth a bit and ticks Nikita off. Great heat on the champ too. Barry Windham is here and is even more hated. Barry heads to the back after the entrances and is embraced by the Horsemen. Technical stuff to start and Nikita grabs the arm to start. We’re clipped a bit and Flair has no idea what to do to a muscle dude like Nikita. He finally gets an atomic drop out of the corner and Nikita is finally down.

Koloff fights back and works on Flair’s knee, wrapping it around the post and then slapping on the Figure Four. Out to the floor with Nikita still in control. Flair’s chops and strikes have no effect on Nikita and he’s mad. Nikita bites away in the corner and accidentally pokes the eye of the referee. Flair throws him over the top so Nikita kills him dead with a middle rope Sickle for two because Tommy Young was blind. He hits the Sickle again but he goes flying over the top rope. Back in Flair grabs a rollup for two and a backdrop for Nikita gets the same. And then Flair throws him over the top for the cheap DQ. I really hate that rule.

Rating: D+. The Nikita push was long since over due to his wife dying and him not being as roided up, but there was still enough heat here to make it watchable. That being said, the ending was really weak and hurt the match more than it was going to recover from. Not exactly the Flair vs. Windham classic from last year is it?

Crockett Cup Final: Sting/Lex Luger vs. Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard

The winner gets a million bucks. Tully vs. Luger to start which is fine for me. Off to Anderson quickly and it’s all Luger with him even busting out a dropkick of all things. Anderson makes a tag while on the floor which doesn’t count because it, you know, illegal. Off to Sting vs. Tully and even Magnum gets in a shot which just feels right. All sting/Luger for the first few minutes here.

Back to Lex and Anderson with some stuff clipped I think. Luger works on Anderson’s arm just like he’s an Anderson. Gee it’s like he learned something during his time in the Horsemen and is incorporating it into his offense now. What black magic is this??? Back to Sting who works on the arm again but the Splash misses in the corner. Back to the fresh Tully who throws Sting over the top for a not-DQ because Dillon had the referee. See how much a manager can help?

Spinebuster puts Sting down and draws some WOOs from the crowd. Not sure I get that one. It turns into a standard tag match now and Sting grabs a Stinger Splash out of nowhere but messes up the Deathlock so Anderson is able to make the save. There’s your tag to Luger and everything breaks down. Magnum trips Anderson and the distraction is enough for Luger to roll him up for the pin and the tournament win.

Rating: C+. Just a regular tag match here for the most part but the crowd carried this a lot. Sting against the Horsemen just felt right which is why I never quite got him being part of them later, even when they were faces. The crowd wasn’t as burned out as you would expect as this was the second night of the tournament which helped A LOT.

There’s a ceremony post match.

Overall Rating: D. I’ve seen worse, but by the end of the tape (just two hours) you’re going to feel worn out. There’s just way too much tag team stuff and REALLY bad non-tournament matches to make this work at all. It’s better than the previous two but that’s not saying much. I’m really glad this one got discontinued because I can’t stand watching them.

 

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Monday Nitro – October 7, 1996 – Monster Trucks And Limos

Monday Nitro #56
Date: October 7, 1996
Location: Savannah Civic Center, Savannah, Georgia
Attendance: 4,300
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Eric Bischoff, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

Please let this be more interesting than last week. I don’t think I can take another one of those shows. This is another build to the Halloween Havoc PPV show and hopefully we’ll get some followup on the Liz in the NWO hotel room stuff from last week. The main event is Flair vs. Savage (it’s been a few months so I don’t mind as much) and another Benoit vs. Steiner match for some reason. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of the end of the show last week. I don’t think we saw what was in the package that Vince brought in, which he seemed a bit nervous about.

We get a clip of Harlem Heat winning the tag titles back from Public Enemy on WCW Saturday Night.

Harlem Heat vs. Public Enemy

Nice to see them get this out of the way quickly. And this is non-title……why exactly? The new champions don’t even get an introduction. That’s a very odd way to start a title reign isn’t it? This is about respect or revenge or something like that. The Heat takes over pretty quickly but Patrick is knocked to the floor and is down as we take a break. Back with Liz trying to get in Savage’s dressing room. She walks in but Randy is gone.

Back to the match as Rock is in a camel clutch. Harlem Side Kick gets a very delayed two. Off to a chinlock after Sherri cheated a bit. This isn’t the most interesting match in the world. Rock gets double teamed down in the corner again. The NWO is in the arena. I don’t think I see Hogan in there though. The match of course stops and they have a microphone. The Outsiders threaten Harlem heat and make Slim Jim puns.

During this whole things it’s almost all chinlocks and rest holds. Larry wants to know how they got on WCW’s frequency. That’s a really good question actually. The NWO shuts up as Booker misses a middle rope elbow and both guys go down off a clothesline by Rock. Public Enemy takes over until Colonel Parker interferes and Rock falls off the top onto the table. The Heat goes after Grunge’s bad knee with a chair and they drop a top rope knee onto the chair onto the bad knee for the pin.

Rating: D. Boring match in the first place which is dragged even further down because of the Outsiders stuff. I’d still like to know why this wasn’t non-title. I mean, the Heat wins and they look pretty dominant doing it, so why not add on something like a title stipulation to make it more interesting? Not much to see here but part of that is due to the match stopping cold because of the Outsiders.

A limo arrives and Jeff Jarrett has jumped ship to WCW.

We get a clip from Saturday Night of Nick Patrick fining Randy Savage one million dollars. No word on if it was ever paid or not, but I remember this moment as it aired.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Jim Powers

After a basic power man opening by Powers, we get a quick promo from Page about Eddie. Nothing too special, but it’s nice to hear them actually talk about their upcoming matches. Cross body gets two for Powers. He tries a full nelson but Page escapes and the Cutter ends this. Quick match.

Page roughs up Teddy Long post match but just shoves him.

Here’s Macho Man to a big ovation. He brings out….oh for crying out loud he brings out a racecar driver. This is what you would expect from it to be. I still don’t care. The NWO car wrecked so Savage declares victory for WCW. So uh….about that ex wife possibly joining the evil team stuff? Can we talk about that or anything like that? Nope, it’s still racing chat.

Savage takes like two minutes teasing how high he finished in the race. He finished 10th and this is supposed to be a big deal. Savage talks for four minutes and doesn’t talk about Liz AT ALL. It’s all racing crap and I’m tempted to fast forward. Oh and he’ll beat Hogan. Liz FINALLY comes out and Savage won’t talk to her. Well there was really a point to that.

Faces of Fear vs. High Voltage

High Voltage is Rage and Kaos. The Tongans jump them and it’s Meng vs. Kaos to start. Jarrett will wrestle tonight. The Horsemen are in the aisle since they’re against the Faces of Fear at Havoc. Total dominance here as Rage is beaten down. Powerbomb gets two. A slingshot into a big boot (nowhere near as cool as it sounds) ends this.

Rating: D. Nothing match here but it was a decent enough squash. High Voltage was never worth anything but Kaos was Rick Steiner’s pick to be one half of the tag champions at one point for no apparent reason. The Faces of Fear got a mini-push until the end of the year and got the title match at Starrcade. Just a squash here.

Glacier vs. Mike Wenner

What a great jobber name. It’s pronounced Winner. Glacier has the weird lights like Sin Cara has at the moment. He takes Wenner down with the leg sweep and goes for the arm. The fans think this is boring and I’m not going to argue with them that much. Glacier hits an over the top rope dive and a spinning kick ends this. Total and complete domination. He wouldn’t be on Nitro again until December.

Glacier does martial arts until the second hour starts.

Eric announces Jarrett as part of the NWO. Where did he get this information?

Jeff Jarrett vs. Hugh Morrus

Jarrett hadn’t been on TV in the WWF for about 8 months so this wasn’t exactly the biggest shocks ever. Eric keeps telling us that Jeff is in the NWO and I still don’t get where he got that from. Heenan asks Eric where he went last week and Eric brushes it off. Morrus takes over after about a minute and Jeff misses an enziguri. The announcers are blasting him every chance they get. I think it’s something about Jeff wanting a shot in WCW and Eric saying no, so it must be the NWO that brought him in.

Jarrett takes over with a great dropkick for two. Powerslam gets two for Morrus. The announcers want to know where the NWO is because they usually have their members’ backs. Maybe because no one ever said he was in the NWO? Morrus misses a top rope elbow and Jarrett wins it with the Figure Four.

Rating: C-. Eh this was just ok. Jarrett would be around for about a year before he headed back to the WWF to be a really annoying country singer which he would be for another year before he got his hair cut and turned into a male chauvinist pig. This was just a basic introduction to Jarrett which was fine.

Tony talks to Jeff and says he’s part of the NWO because he got out of a black limo. I’m serious. That’s their rationale for saying that Jarrett is in the NWO: the color of his car. Jarrett talks about Hogan bragging about how he made promoters like Verne Gagne and Jerry Jarrett (Jeff’s dad, big time promoter in Memphis back in the territory days), and says that Hogan didn’t make either of the Jarretts. He goes on an old guys are awesome rant and tells the NWO to stick it.

Buy the NWO shirt.

Renegade vs. Arn Anderson

Renegade still had a job at this point??? He was an Ultimate Warrior rip-off (same mannerisms, look, style, Hogan talked about him being the Ultimate Surprise etc) and he squashed Anderson for the TV Title in 95. The problem was he made Warrior look like Shawn Michaels in the ring. Anderson controls to start and breaks up a sunset flip. Renegade is looking like the jobber that he should have been.

The fans chant for the DDT as Eric sings WCW’s praises, in this case that of Harlem Heat. Anderson works on the arm while Eric kind of bashes the other announcers for bailing on him. You know, like he did to them last week but we’re not supposed to remember that I guess. Renegade gets a shot in and Tenay suggests that Jarrett might be the swinging point for WCW. Oh dear. Eric still doesn’t trust him. Handspring elbow by Renegade but the second is broken up. DDT ends this.

Rating: D+. Squash here and that’s fine. I still don’t get why Renegade has a job at this point but I guess there’s a logic to paying him a bunch of money somewhere. Nothing to see here and the Ultimate Warrior doing a cartwheel elbow is pretty stupid when you think about it. Nothing match and nothing to see here.

Anderson hammers on him post match until Luger makes the save.

Lex Luger vs. Dave Taylor

Why did Luger go to the back and come out again two minutes later? Luger says in an inset promo that he wants the TV Title back and that he’ll be ready for Anderson. The match is just what you would expect: Taylor gets in a few shots and then the Rack ends it. Basically a workout for Luger.

Anderson jumps Luger with a chair as Luger is leaving.

Chris Benoit vs. Rick Steiner

Scott is injured but is here with Rick anyway. Steiner goes right after him to start and pounds him down with ease. I still don’t get why this mini-feud is even happening. Belly to belly gets two. Off to a chinlock and we talk about an Olympic silver medalist talking about joining WCW, which wouldn’t happen. Another suplex has Benoit holding his neck and head, which makes me wince a bit given what we know now. After a two count we take a break.

Back with Benoit in control with a chinlock but he goes to the corner and pounds away when the cameras are back on. Scott goes after Nick Patrick a bit and Patrick freaks. An NWO limo arrives with Hogan inside with Giant. The match isn’t that important I guess. Hogan says watch this place because he has business to take care of. Benoit had Rick in a chinlock at the time so at least he was smart enough to think through it.

Eric rants about Jarrett some more and Benoit hooks another chinlock. Rick wakes up and hits a huge Steiner Line but Benoit just gets mad because of it. He chops Rick so hard Rick’s headgear falls off. FREAKING OW MAN! Swan Dive gets two. Benoit jumps into a suplex and then a DDT gets two for Rick. The top rope bulldog gets….two? Since we were having a decent match, here’s Debra to make sure it gets screwy. Mongo goes for the briefcase but Rick steals it and waffles Mongo with it (great looking shot) and then hits Benoit for the pin.

Rating: C+. Without the shenanigans and distractions, this would have been a pretty solid match. Rick certainly wasn’t much in his later career, but when he was on he was on pretty well which was the case here. Benoit was so hungry at this point and you could tell how awesome he would be if they gave him the proper push, which unfortunately never really happened.

US Title: Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair

After Savage’s entrance, the NWO is shown in the back and Hogan tells the Nastys to watch his back. He wants to talk to Savage on his own. DiBiase has the NWO contracts for the Nastys. We cut to the back and the NWO is standing over Flair who is out cold. Vincent takes the US Title belt with him. There was a sound resembling a lead pipe shot before we cut there. Liz is there and looks terrified. I think this was due to Flair needing legit shoulder surgery.

Liz is stalked into the arena by Giant who has the title. Hogan jumps Savage and beats him down with a chair. This beating goes on for like 7 minutes as Heenan shouts a very good question: WHERE IS THE REST OF THE LOCKER ROOM??? Trash is thrown into the ring and they do his outline in spraypaint. Hogan declares Liz and Savage null and void because he owns her mind, body and soul. Something about a contract is mentioned. Hogan says he’s going to destroy the broadcast booth and here’s an NWO monster truck. WHAT AM I WATCHING???

Overall Rating: C-. Better than last week for sure, but this show is crawling towards Halloween Havoc about as slowly as you possibly can. Most of the card is announced and they’re building things up, but the problem is everything is pretty much set and there is n’t much to have as far as matches on Nitro goes. Not a great show, but WAY better than last week’s.

 

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Impact Wrestling – October 13, 2011 – Hokey Smoke. It Was Good.

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 13, 2011
Location: Knoxville Civic Auditorium, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Bound For Glory and the card is mostly set I believe. The two big matches have been well built but I can’t say they have the same kind of pop as last year’s show did, at least not for me. I’d expect a final push to the show and a lot of work being done for the importance of how big this show is for TNA. Hogan vs. Sting should get roughly 7 segments. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about the two main events as you would expect.

Hogan is here.

Angle opens the show and wants to talk to Roode one more time. He talks about how he had Roode fight Fourtune and Roode passed the test. Angle says he’s better than all of Fourtune and he’s the best ever, which he’s going to prove again at BFG. He offers a handshake but Roode grabs the mic again. Roode talks about having heart and says he wants a clean match. They shake hands and say no interference. The lack of hatred and everything being based on respect is really hurting this build for me.

Angle goes to leave but says that tonight it’s Roode vs. Gunner/Jarrett.

RVD, AJ, Daniels and Lynn are all brawling in the back.

The brawl is still going after a break and they’re out on the ramp now. There’s a bell. Ok so it’s a match.

AJ Styles/Rob Van Dam vs. Christopher Daniels/Jerry Lynn

It’s a big brawl to start as Rob is missing. Oh there he is. Things finally get down to Daniels vs. AJ but it’s off to Rob quickly. Rob gets beaten down by some double teaming. Daniels and Lynn have some decent chemistry for a random pairing. Hot tag brings in AJ and he cleans house. We go to the floor and it’s time to dive! AJ hits the springboard forearm back in and loads up the Clash but Daniels escapes. Lynn is back in and takes the Clash for the pin at 5:50.

Rating: C+. This was kind of a crazy match but I think that was the point with the way the match started. It’s a decent match and the dives were pretty good. I’m always a fan of combining two feuds like this as you can build them both fairly well at once and it saves some time for other stuff later. It’s an old booking idea but it works very well and it did so here.

Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan

Morgan is all fired up to start and hits a running knee to set up the corner elbows. Joe hammers away with his usual strikes but when he puts Morgan up top, Morgan jumps over him and rolls Joe up for the pin at 2:09. That came out of nowhere.

Post match Joe goes after Morgan’s leg and gets a hold on it until Crimson comes out with a chair to clear the ring. Joe yells about the two of them always ganging up on him. He suggests a three way at the PPV and the non Samoans say ok.

There’s a new Jeff Hardy DVD. I’ll keep quiet on that.

Here’s Mexican America who wants to have Ink Inc out here. The fans chant USA and the tattoo guys talk about the tattoo they gave Anarquia recently. Ink Inc tells them to get out and a brawl breaks out. Mexican America takes over so the tattoo chick from the tattoo parlor comes in for the save. The tag match is made post brawl.

Jesse Sorensen/Brian Kendrick vs. Austin Aries/Kid Kash

The good guys dive out onto the floor to get us going. Kash vs. Sorensen gets us going and Sorensen uses his speed stuff to get going. A McGillicutter gets two. The heels take over quickly and we’re waiting on the hot tag to Kendrick. Kash tries a springboard moonsault and is supposed to hit the knees but hits most of the move instead. There’s the hot tag to Kendrick who cleans a few rooms. He tries Sliced Bread on both heels at once which makes them fight. Sorensen goes into Kash and Aries gets the belt but Kendrick hits a superkick and Sliced Bread for the pin at 4:34.

Rating: C. Not a bad match but the opener did it better. The idea here was to set up the title match and give us a reason to think Kendrick can win. I don’t get the point in having Kash and Aries fight out there but they were trying something I guess. Not a horrible match but it was pretty generic.

Here are the four Knockouts in the title match on Sunday plus Angelina. Madison is brought out with Karen and Traci has to trail behind. Karen talks about how she got them the PPV match because no one else wanted them. She talks about how she’s better than they are and singles out Velvet. They yell a lot and then Traci helps shove Karen down. It’s brawl time and security pulls them apart.

Ray is the enforcer for Anderson vs. Steiner later and says don’t tick him off.

AJ rants about Daniels, saying he ruined the relationship their families have. AJ gets in his truck and says he’s ready for an I Quit match. He shuts the door to his truck and Daniels decks him, tying a cord around Styles’ throat. Daniels lets go saying he wants everyone to hear AJ quit on Sunday.

Scott Steiner vs. Mr. Anderson

Ray is the guest referee. Steiner goes straight at Anderson with the power and a belly to belly gets two. There are the elbows and it’s still all Steiner. Ray is talking trash since he’s very good at it. Anderson grabs a neckbreaker for two. Mic Check hits but he’s in the rope before the referee can raise his hand for one. Anderson takes out Ray but comes back in for a low blow with the referee looking at Steiner as if to say “oh come on” but it’s not a DQ. Here’s Abyss for no apparent reason with Ray’s chain. Steiner holds Anderson up and it hits Steiner but that’s not a DQ. It is however enough for a pin at 4:03.

Rating: D. Am I watching ECW or something? The referee wasn’t bumped or anything. He watched all that happen and was totally cool with all of it. I get that it’s to build to the Abyss face turn eventually but it still was pretty stupid overall. Was there any reason to not have this be a DQ win for Anderson? I mean it’s not like it changes the ending or anything.

Post match Ray yells at Abyss as Immortal runs out. Abyss gets tired of being yelled at so he grabs Ray by the throat. It’s time for the Immortal beatdown and Ray brings in a table. Anderson finally runs out for the save but Ray runs over him and the Bubba Bomb puts Anderson through the table.

Angle comes up to Storm and tries to bring him to the dark side. Storm says he’s talking to Bobby and that’s about it.

Jarrett and Gunner say nothing of note about Bobby.

We run down the BFG card, which looks pretty stacked.

Video on Bobby Roode who is on a roll. Angle talks about how he has the experience and no pressure on him.

Bobby Roode vs. Jeff Jarrett/Gunner

Roode grabs a chair but it gets taken away from him. He fights them off for a bit but the numbers catch up with him pretty quickly. Roode sets for the Blockbuster on Gunner but Jarrett makes the save and the beating continues. After a double suplex Jarrett and Gunner do the Beer Money taunt which ticks Roode off. There’s the Blockbuster to Jeff and Gunner is sent to the floor. Stroke is countered into the spinebuster and the crossface goes on both guys but gets the tap from Gunner at 3:58.

Rating: C. It’s juts a handicap match here and a way for Roode to look good. That’s fine but the whole respect thing isn’t doing much for me as far as the build for the match goes. Not a bad match but it doesn’t really tell us anything that we don’t already know. Not bad but it wasn’t too bad overally.

Immortal comes out for the beatdown and Storm’s save attempt fails. Angle comes out to beat on Roode too but before he can get a hand on him Jeff Hardy runs out for the save. Storm doesn’t like it and Roode isn’t sure if he should shake Jeff’s hand. Eventually he shakes it. Hardy goes to leave but Storm stops him. Storm raises Hardy’s arm and shakes his hand.

Jeff says he’s back. That’s Hardy by the way. Jarrett comes up and yells at Hardy over a lot of things. He says they’ve been friends for a long time and that Jeff is out of chances. Hardy says he’ll be at BFG.

With about 5 minutes left in the show, it’s time for the Hogan/Sting contract signing. Both are in Hogan shirts and Hulk doesn’t want to sign. Sting signs but Hogan isn’t on yet. Ok so he signs it. Hogan stands up and turns over the table. Sting’s yellow shoes are great. Hogan says he’s been watching Sting avoid Hogan for over thirty years. He talks about how Sting could have fought Hogan any time ever and finally gets him here. This is Hogan’s last match but it’s going to be a fight. You need a contract for a fight? Hogan swears no interference and keeps saying gut instead of got.

And here’s Bischoff with a rebuttal. He’s mad about Sting hurting him a few weeks ago and threatens Sting. Sting turns his back and Hogan pops him with a chair and hammers away in the corner. Sting is being choked out as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: B. This was an excellent go home show. Yeah I said it. I’ve made no secret about the fact that I’m less than thrilled with the choices for the double main event and think that Hogan and Sting need to go away instead of taking the main event picture up, but this show built up that and Kurt vs. Roode very well. The whole card got something and having the segments for the main events not really take up all of the show was a hue plus. The pacing was good here too and it made for a great build for BFG, which should be a good show. I’m stunned but this was the best TNA show I’ve seen in longer than I can remember.

Results
AJ Styles/Rob Van Dam b. Christopher Daniels/Jerry Lynn
Matt Morgan b. Samoa Joe – Rollup
Jesse Sorensen/Brian Kendrick b. Austin Aries/Kid Kash – Sliced Bread to Kendrick
Mr. Anderson b. Scott Steiner – Pin after Abyss hit Anderson with a chain
Bobby Roode b. Gunner/Jeff Jarrett – Crossface

 

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No Surrender 2011 – Blinded By The Boring

No Surrender 2011
Date: September 11, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re at the finals of the BFG Series tonight and I think it’s some system where you win based on how many total points you have. Not that TNA ran over any possible scenarios or anything but I guess math is a bit beyond their abilities. We have Angle vs. Anderson vs. Sting for another PPV tonight because those three are the only people that have been designated as main event guys. Three matches were thrown onto the card Thursday and I think more will be added with no warning. Let’s get to it.

There’s a patriotic theme to the Impact Zone and the TNA voice says let’s take a moment to remember ten years ago. That’s fine. The roster is on the stage for this.

The opening video is all about the BFG Series and to be fair that’s what they should focus on, even though the logic of it is pretty limited.

Kid Kash vs. Jesse Sorensen

The winner is #1 contender for the X Title. These two have been feuding and split the first two matches. Jesse has his football which I wouldn’t recommend since I’d rather be watching my Cowboys than this game. He signs it for a kid which is a nice touch I guess. The ropes are the old WWF red white and blue style which is required for this show. Kash’s tattoos almost look like they’re eating him. If it gets rid of some of that gut I’m all for it.

They hit the mat quickly for some technical stuff and Jesse snaps off some armdrags. It’s a stalemate early on. Kash wants a test of strength and that goes nowhere. Kash slaps him but you don’t slap a guy from Texas. Sorensen charges but gets sent into the post on a slide to give the evildoer the advantage. Brainbuster gets two. He fires off some crossface shots to the…uh….face’s face and keeps pounding away.

Sorensen fires back with some strikes and a solid dropkick which almost every young kid has anymore. They must have grown up watching Maven “Eyebrows” Huffman and followed his great example. Cross body gets two and it’s time for more of Kash’s boring old school style stuff.

I don’t get why Kash keeps getting hired. There’s nothing particularly interesting about him but he was in WCW in the dying days, got a title in ECW, got a title in old TNA and got the Cruiserweight Title in WWE. I don’t get it at all. Kash can’t put him away so he gets frustrated and shoves the referee. A Crash Landing (release vertical suplex) sets up an attempted moonsault but Kash crashes. He still manages to get two as Sorensen is in trouble. Out of absolutely nowhere Sorensen gets behind Kash and lifts him into the air for kind of a reverse Impaler for the pin at 8:00. That was about all the offense he had in seven minutes.

Rating: C-. Not a horrible opener but the ending came out of nowhere. I don’t get why they brought Kash back in as his look isn’t any good anymore and he’s old. There’s nothing interesting about him but I guess it’s because he’s a grizzled veteran or something. Not much of a match but hopefully Sorensen can move on to someone other than Kash.

Angle isn’t happy about having the title match tonight and yells at Hogan about it. He’s officially Immortal as well. Hogan tells him to chill and says go get ready. I smell a swerve.

Bound For Glory Series: Bully Ray vs. James Storm

Storm has to win via submission to have any chance. Storm has a new shirt that says Beer Hunter with some crosshairs on it. I like it. Loud Bully Sucks chant to start and he runs away from Storm for a bit. If he was smart he’d get counted out quickly or find a way to get himself pinned. Ray keeps running and I have a feeling this is going to be a show based around trying to get points one specific way or not losing one specific way.

Ray stalls even more, channeling his inner Zbyszko. We get going now and Ray sends him into the corner but gets caught in a cross armbreaker and is in trouble. Storm isn’t very good at it though (makes sense) and Ray gets out and bails. The fans keep calling him Pussy Ray. Storm goes back to the arm and hooks an armbar, showing psychology. Ray tries to break it but gets caught in a cross armbreaker again, this time in the middle of the ring.

Bully escapes again and heads to the floor. This time Storm goes after him and hammers away a bit, still working on the arm, sending it into the steps. Ray sends him into the apron and steals some beer. No idea if he swallowed it or not. He grabs a chair and as it’s being taken to the floor Ray spits the beer in the eyes. Old school heel work still works.

HARD chop by Ray as Tazz explains the difference between types of quivers between your legs. He calls for the Bubba Bomb but gets reversed and it’s right back into the armbreaker. Ray looks like he’s in big trouble here but he gets his foot onto the rope to break it up. Storm throws on a Scorpion (he’s grabbing the foot, not the knee) and Ray is in trouble again. Blast it he made the ropes.

Storm kicks away at the arm and throws on a (Mr.) Fujiwara Armbar but Ray counters into a rollup for two. Storm goes to the floor and has some beer also complete with some yucky backwash but spits it into the referee’s eyes by mistake. As he’s blinded, Storm gets the tapout but loses by DQ at 11:50. Well that makes sense I guess. It also gives Ray 53 points, I believe clinching at worst a tie.

Rating: C. Not a horrible match and the psychology from Storm was there for the majority of the match. It wasn’t so much on Ray’s part because there was no reason for him to not just head to the floor and take a countout loss then interfere in the other match for a DQ for either guy, giving himself the tournament. Then again that wouldn’t make for much of a PPV so I guess they couldn’t do that.

We recap Winter vs. Mickie which involved past lives, blood, implied lesbianism, drinking blood and Daisy Duke shorts. You can piece the rest together yourselves.

Knockout Title: Winter vs. Mickie James

Mickie beat Winter a few weeks ago on Impact to get the title back. Winter is a bit freaky with some magic stuff going on. This is the rubber match. Winter’s music is kind of cool. Mickie has a Wonder Woman style outfit here including the skirt. Mickie takes over quickly and we head to the floor. Winter goes face first into the railing but she takes over back inside.

Mickie comes back with some strikes and a rana out of the corner. A dropkick puts Angelina down but it lets Winter get a shot to the head in to take over again. Suplex gets two. Winter chokes away as does Angelina. She puts on a backbreaker and bends Mickie over her knee. I can’t complain about all the upskirt shots here from Mickie. Spinout backbreaker puts Mickie down again.

A neckbreaker out of nowhere gets Mickie a breather as both chicks are down. They slug it out with Mickie getting the better of it. She fires off some clotheslines and a flapjack before nipping up. A big kick to the face gets two as Winter grabs the rope. James throws on a half crab with a leg trap but Winter gets the rope. Love slides in the belt but Hebner gets it away. A rollup gets two for Mickie.

Winter fires off some shoulders in the corner and Angelina is lurking. Mickie tries a tornado DDT but Angelina pulls Winter to the floor. Mickie is like cool and takes her down with a Thesz Press off the apron. Love runs up the apron as Winter has a chance to load up some blood. Mickie comes back in and Love distracts her. Unfortunately she doesn’t do it well enough and Love takes the blood in the eyes. Mickie goes for Winter but takes the OTHER blood in the eyes for the pin at 8:35.

Rating: C. The match was fun but we see one of Russo’s weaknesses here: that’s two matches in a row based on spitting something in someone’s eyes. There’s no point in doing it twice in a row as it makes it look stupider the second time. Also this was almost the same ending that they had to the PPV match last time, making it even dumber. Do ANYTHING other than the previous match’s ending. A belt shot would have worked fine here, but Russo likes spitting blood so that’s what we get. Also why did they put the belt back on Mickie at all?

Gunner says he’ll do whatever it takes to go to BFG when Ray comes in and says HE goes and Gunner does whatever it takes to get him here. To even get a tie either guy has to win by tap out. Bullying is Ray’s business and business is good.

Tag Titles: D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero vs. Mexican America

Remember when TNA had the best tag division by far? Man that seems like forever ago. Can we watch Sarita and Rosita dance instead of watching this match? D-Von vs. Anarquia starts us off. The fans chant for the USA. Off to Pope very quickly as they work on the arm. Ok back to D-Von as the challengers are tagging in very fast. SuperMex comes in and D-Von is all cool with that too.

A clothesline puts Hernandez down for a bit and it’s off to Pope, who according to the audience is pimping. If anyone knows what it means to be pimping, it’s a town famous for having a Mouse theme park in it. Anarquia comes in again and this is firmly in first or second gear. The challengers hit something resembling a Hart Attack but with a shoulder instead of a clothesline and D-Von playing the rope of Bret.

Pope kisses Rosita and then holds her by the air above the floor off the apron. FREAKING OW MAN!!! D-Von and Pope set for What’s Up but Sarita breaks it up. Despite looking nothing like him at all, D-Von lands the role of Ricky Morton. Anarquia hits a back elbow for two. Mexican America hits a pair of splashes and Rosita adds a dropkick. Hernandez takes forever to set up a charge and is taken down by a spear from D-Von.

A double tag brings in Anarquia and Pope with Pope cleaning most of the rooms in the house but not all of the house. Top rope cross body gets two on Anarquia and the champs take down Pope with Hernandez hitting a top rope headbutt but there’s no cover from either of them. Everything breaks down and a double shoulder block puts down Hernandez. The girls come in and get stereo spankings. D-Von takes down Hernandez and we go back to Wrestlemania V as Pope suplexes Anarquia back in but one of the chicks hooks his leg for the fall on top pin at 9:53.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this one but I could see how some people would. The girls got involved about five times and the ending was so cliched it’s almost unbearable. That’s what this show has been: one cliched ending after another. Also, D-Von and Pope are the best tag team they could get for this? At least the Brits are a regular team that gets along more than a week before the PPV. Not into this at all.

Anderson makes fun of Immortal and while he doesn’t like Sting he’ll do it to get rid of Angle. JB gets embarrassed by saying he sees a sunset in doors. Typical Anderson here.

We recap Joe vs. Morgan which is basically Joe injuring a bunch of people because he couldn’t get half the matches in the Series that anyone else could at the end and Morgan stood up for the honor of a Series he was in for about a month.

Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan

The fans are for Morgan who is in almost all white. Joe fires chops at the injured chest/pec so Morgan hammers away right back. He takes over even more and hits a Taker apron legdrop. Joe gets back in the ring and hits the suicide elbow to take over. Back inside Morgan hits a top rope crossbody for two. He loads up the Carbon Footprint but Joe bails. As he’s getting back in he pulls the arm across the top rope to work on the pec and then hits a running knee to keep his advantage.

The fans chant Sloppy Joe as Tazz implies a lot of the fans at home are fat. Tenay has nothing for that. Joe pounds him into the corner and gets a loud enziguri for two. Morgan fires some punches but is taken over by some Judo throw that Tazz loves knowing the name of. Off to a Kimura for awhile but someone shows Joe a Twinkie so he lets go of it. He calls for the Muscle Buster and then doesn’t go for it, instead being taken down by a discus lariat.

Morgan hits a side slam but Joe takes over again. The selling/momentum is kind of missing in this match. In a weird looking move, Joe gets a running start at Morgan and then grabs him into a belly to belly. He tries the Clutch but it’s more like a sleeper. Morgan manages to break it but Joe never had it on full. He tries it again and gets it on mostly full including the leg lace. Now it’s the full Clutch but Matt gets his leg on the rope. Joe gets in Hebner’s face but misses a charge, letting Morgan take his head off with the Carbon Footprint for the pin at 11:38.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but the main thing here is that this is a great example of what’s wrong with TNA. Back in 2008 Joe was awesome and motivated and dominating people while looking awesome. Then they decided he wasn’t going to get pushed anymore and he’s been floundering ever since. Morgan is a guy they’ve decided they aren’t going to push so he’s floundered as well. The problem in short is the management has decided that they’re in the group not worth pushing so they’re not going to and the guys get discouraged and it becomes a self-fulling prophecy.

Roode says it’s his time and he’s coming for Gunner and Ray. Storm is with him and doesn’t look pleased. Storm stops him and says it’s cool and sounds sincere.

Bound For Glory Series: Gunner vs. Robert Roode

If this ends in anything but a submission, Ray wins. Therefore, there’s zero reason why he shouldn’t come out and clock one of these guys to have the match end in about three seconds. Roode takes it to the mat quickly and Gunner breaks it off to get to a stalemate. The fans are all behind Roode. They do some nice technical stuff to get to the mat as they fight over a hammerlock.

Roode tries the Fujiwara Armbar but Gunner hits the floor. Bobby gets to the arm and wraps it around the post. Gunner misses a charge and hits the post shoulder first again. Back inside and Roode works over the shoulder even more. You can’t fault him for lacking psychology. Gunner grabs a DDT to break things up and go after the neck of Roode. Roode escapes a full nelson but Gunner takes him down again and chokes a lot.

Gunner gets a neckbreaker and hooks a neck crank. Off to a headscissors which doesn’t last long. Roode escapes a neckbreaker and tries for the armbar but Gunner escapes and takes Roode down with a short clothesline. Now Gunner gets the full nelson but he can’t hook it fully because of the arm. Roode rams him into the corner about five times and the hold is broken.

Gunner misses a right hand and there’s the Fujiwara Armbar but Gunner escapes. Gunner charges into the spinebuster and both guys are down. There’s an elbow by Gunner but he gets caught in the armbar again. After nearly tapping he grabs the rope. The crowd isn’t into this at all for the most part but it’s not bad. Gunner gets his running knee finisher out of nowhere but Roode is on his knees quickly. He tries an F5 but gets caught in the armbar again and is dragged back to the middle for a Crippler Crossface for the tap at 12:07.

Rating: C. See, the problem here is that neither guy is really known for submissions so we weren’t sure when to expect the match to end so we didn’t know what was coming. Not a terrible match but oddly enough Storm vs. Ray with Ray stalling forever was probably a more interesting match. This was way too technical and it didn’t work for the most part. Not bad or anything, but pretty bland.

Eric comes out and says since the score is tied it’s Ray vs. Roode for the title. Why they didn’t just do a regular tournament is beyond common sense but so is most of TNA. Also the fact that we have three matches left and 80 minutes to go isn’t saying much either.

Aries says Kendrick’s time is over and it’s time for action. Kendrick is bringing his A game but Aries is bringing his A Double game.

We recap Kendrick vs. Aries. Kendrick speaks a lot of philosophical nonsense and Aries says he’s better than Kendrick.

X-Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Austin Aries

Kendrick is wearing a Genghis Khan head dress. I haven’t been incredibly impressed by Aries but I keep being told he’s the best in the world for some reason. They go to the mat quickly and that gets no one anything. They trade counters and Kendrick hooks a Fujiwara Armbar, making it the third match tonight where we’ve seen that submission. They speed it up a bit and Kendrick gets a headscissors to get a small advantage.

Aries is sent to the apron so he can chill a bit. Kendrick gets bored I guess and goes after him and back inside we go. Kendrick gets a kick to the head in and tries Sliced Bread but Aries heads for the outside. Brian rams him into the railing a few times and tries Sliced Bread out there which doesn’t work either. Aries gets a Russian Leg Sweep into the post to take over, getting two in the ring.

Back inside a pair of elbows gets two for Aries. There’s stump puller to really mix things up. A release STO sets up the classically stupid pendulum elbow which misses. Kendrick is sent into the corner face first but he manages to break up a running dropkick. Brian hits a bunch of dropkicks of his own to send Aries outside and we go back in again. There’s a missile dropkick for two.

Tornado DDT gets two. He tries Sliced Bread again but gets tossed over the top and out to the floor in a very nasty crash. Aries tries a suicide dive but Kendrick moves, sending Aries crashing into the barricade. They both barely beat the count back in and slug it out. Aries avoids a charge and Kendrick hits the floor AGAIN. What is that, 6 times already? Back in a running dropkick in the corner gets two.

Aries sets for the brainbuster but gets rolled up for two. Backslide gets two. Aries fires off a tornado forearm for two and an elevated DDT ala Orton for two. 450 misses but Aries rolls through. Kendrick grabs a tiger suplex for two. He tries sliced bread but the referee is in the corner. Aries kicks him in a place that isn’t nice to kick another man and the brainbuster ends this at 14:20 with a new champion.

Rating: B-. This was probably the best match of the night so far but it still was nothing to write home about, let alone half a page. They went outside so many times I lost count and the whole thing felt kind of boring. It wasn’t a bad match and was pretty good at times, but when you can bore a TNA crowd, you’re doing something special. To be fair this has been an incredibly unimpressive show so it’s not this match’s fault.

Ray says this is about one more match that he has to win to go to BFG. He’s going after Roode’s bad neck.

Bound For Glory Series Final: Robert Roode vs. Bully Ray

Well at least we’re not getting a three way. They get in an a face to face argument in the aisle with Ray trying to intimidate him. The fans are totally behind Roode and they stare it down. They talk a lot of trash and I think this is supposed to be epic and it just isn’t. Ray hides again to stall. And then does it again. Ray steals the hat of someone at ringside and that is a large man.

There has been no contact in about five minutes so far. They lock up and Roode gets an armdrag to send Ray to the floor again. I know they have a ton of time to fill but would some punches kill them? They lock up again and Ray is frustrated. He manages a hard chop but Roode no sells it and flips him off. Then he does it again minus the flipping. Instead he slaps Ray and finally we get going.

Scratch that as Ray is on the floor AGAIN. Ray grabs a headlock but Roode counters down into the crossface from earlier. Ray tries to grab the referee to no avail but gets out of the hold. A neckbreaker puts Roode down and a splash gets two. He slaps and chops away while talking trash but Roode no sells the chops again. Ever the lunkhead, Ray keeps chopping and they keep failing.

A big right hand works a bit better and they slug it out. Roode comes back with a forearm and clothesline to take over. The Blockbuster gets two. Rock Bottom gets two for Ray. Bubba Bomb gets two and Ray is mad. The middle rope backsplash misses and the spinebuster gets the pin out of nowhere at 12:34.

Rating: C. The match got better in the middle but the first seven or eight minutes were so boring it was ridiculous. I get that it was supposed to be epic, but you can only get so epic with Bubba Ray Dudley. I’ve been told how great Roode is for years now and while I don’t think he sucks, I don’t see this star in him that everyone says is there. I like Storm better but we’ll see what he can do with this chance now.

Rosita talks about her dad dying on 9/11.

We recap Angle vs. Sting vs. Anderson. Angle joined Immortal to get rid of Dixie’s young talent and got brought into this feud because of it. Anderson is back and the Network made this main event for some reason.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

Sting is in the blue one again tonight. After some big match intros we’ve got about 20 minutes for this assuming the show is going off at about 10:53. The fans seem to be behind Anderson at first. Angle immediately goes to the floor to continue the stalling theme of the night. Back in and both guys hammer him down and send him to the floor to get a one on one going.

We’re firmly into the triple threat formula as they go at it for a minute or so until Kurt comes back in and Anderson goes to the floor. In perfect timing, Angle sends Sting to the floor and turns around to have Anderson waiting on him. What are the odds of that? Everyone is in now and Anderson gets a neckbreaker for two as Sting makes the save. It’s a triple suplex as Angle suplexes Sting who suplexes Anderson. I think I’ve seen that before.

Angle is the only person standing at the moment. Belly to belly gets two on Sting. Off to a rear naked choke which doesn’t last long since Angle isn’t Samoan. Stinger Splash hits Angle and a regular DDT gets two. Anderson is back in now and he hits a kick of some sort for two. Mic Check to Angle doesn’t work so here are some rolling Germans. Now Sting takes some rolling Germans for a two count. I bet he could have had three if they were Rolling Rocks instead.

Angle tries a superplex but has to settle for the running up the corner belly to belly for two instead. Sting counters the Angle Slam and throws Kurt over the top. Scorpion on Anderson and Anderson squeals like a piggy. He can’t quite get the rope but Kurt comes in for an Angle Slam to Sting for two. Why is Kurt surprised that move didn’t get a pin? One to Anderson gets the same result.

There’s the ankle lock on Sting but it’s eventually rolled through, sending Kurt into the Mic Check for two. Sting fights out of the fireman’s carry into a Death Drop for two as Angle pulls him out to the floor. Hogan pops up and sprays something in Sting’s eyes (third match with someone being blinded tonight) and the Angle Slam keeps the title on Kurt at 15:24.

Rating: C. Not bad but it’s triple threat 101 here all the way. I’m so sick of seeing these three having these matches time after time and I can’t stand it anymore. The match was ok but for the love of goat’s milk, why do we need three blindings in the same show? I mean come on and give us ANYTHING else. You can’t throw in a chair shot or something? Either way, it keeps the title on the drunk which is the point….somehow.

Overall Rating: D+. It picked up a little in the last hour or so but until about 9:45 this was really boring. I still don’t get the idea in booking the tie instead of a straight semi-final and then final but it’s TNA so who knows what they’re thinking. The problem here for the most part was that it was just boring. A lot of the matches seemed thrown together and the important matches, namely the BFG matches, were ok at their very best. This wasn’t a good show but I guess they have some time to set up BFG which has most of the matches set already. It has to be better than this which was just boring.

Results

Jesse Sorensen b. Kid Kash – Reverse Inverted DDT

Bully Ray b. James Storm via DQ when Storm spit beer in Ray’s face

Winter b. Mickie James – Pin after Winter spit blood in Mickie’s face

Mexican America b. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero – Anarquia pinned D-Von after reversing a suplex

Bobby Roode b. Gunner – Crossface

Austin Aries b. Brian Kendrick – Brainbuster

Robert Roode b. Bully Ray – Spinebuster

Kurt Angle b. Sting and Mr. Anderson – Angle Slam to Sting




No Surrender 2010 – The 2011 Show Is Tomorrow So Does It Hold Up?

No Surrender 2010
Date: September 5, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

The main thing tonight is the semi-final matches in the world title tournament. They should be good but the rest of the card seems a bit lackluster. It’s not bad but I just don’t really care about what I’m seeing here. Dreamer vs. AJ on PPV? Really? This should be ok though as TNA PPVs can often surprise you. Let’s get to it.

We open with shots of the four guys in the semi-finals getting here earlier in the day. The video is your standard let’s hear from all four guys and get their opinions on the tournament. Nothing special at all but the idea works.

Tag Titles: Generation Me vs. Motor City Machine Guns

Ok so apparently London Brawling isn’t here so this is your replacement. Shelley and Jeremy start us off with some very nifty mat work. Shelley is in shorts here which is a weird look on him. Taz implies the challengers have an attitude now, which probably means a heel turn. Apparently Generation Me are Christian athletes. Nothing wrong with that, but interesting that this comes up just around the time they turn heel.

The fans call them the Bucks of course because they have to be smart right? Oh wait that’s the last name of Gen Me here right? It is as we prove again how stupid the name Generation Me is. Young Bucks is hardly a bad name. Shelley with a reverse Boston Crab into a surfboard. They’ve both been in there the whole time and just as I say that Sabin comes in.

We crank it up as Max hits an INSANE backflip into a Diamond Cutter. Neckbreaker on Shelly on the apron and Shelly may have a bad neck now. It turns into a gymnastics routine, which is always fun if nothing else. These are perfect choices for openers as they’re very exciting and gets the crowd going. I’d prefer them in the middle of the show though as they can breathe life into the show later if things start to drag.

The ring looks a bit smaller than usual here for some reason. Sabin gets the hot tag and it’s on again. Springboard Tornado DDT gets two. Cue R-Truth’s opening line as this is the part where we crank it up. Sabin and Max slug it out in the ring and another tornado DDT is blocked. Gen Me kick the heck out of Shelley and set up for More Bang For Your Buck. In a very innovative counter, Jeremy goes for a superkick but Shelley grabs it and throws the foot into Max’s head. Skull and Bones end it clean.

Rating: B. Solid opener as always between these two. They know how to just make things exciting and fire up the crowd, which is always a great thing to see in the opener. The Guns are without a doubt the best team in the world today and highlight the division about as well as anyone can. Very fast paced match that has me wanting to see the rest of the show.

Post match Gen Me jumps the Guns and beat up Shelley and continue the focus on his neck, including an elevated DDT to the floor. We get an X thrown up from the referee for dramatic effect. Nice to see them as heels for once. Shelley walks off with some help.

Taz and Mike welcome us to the show, 25 minutes in. They run down the main points of the card, which we’ve already bought.

X Division Title: Sabu vs. Douglas Williams

They say that this is the only singles title match tonight, which means the TV Title still isn’t on the line, which is a good thing. These X Factor things are again annoying. We get all these things already but we need a Powerpoint presentation to tell us them again? The Bombay, Michigan thing always makes me chuckle. Williams out moves Sabu to start as Sabu isn’t sure what to do here.

He’s one of those guys that can be decent in the ring but when he gets bad he gets really bad. It depends on how insane he goes I guess. We start on the mat a lot which is a nice change of pace. Slingshot legdrop is kind of a slingshot double boot as it sets up the one arm camel clutch. That name always makes me chuckle.

A table is set up at ringside but we get into the ring before it can be used. The fans of course aren’t happy about us sticking to actual wrestling. Taz talks about his rivalry with Sabu, which is a good thing. I’ve long since thought Lawler needs to remind fans that he used to be a wrestler and even a world champion. Most young fans probably don’t know that and it probably would give him credibility.

Sabu brings in a chair but does nothing with it again. Triple jump moonsault is just barely ok as it gets two. Loud Sabu chant which will be validation to keep him around according to Dixie. We hit the mat again and Williams uses some insane spinning chinlock. This hasn’t been great but it’s no trainwreck at all. Sabu goes No Mercy with a springboard back elbow. Williams kicks the chair into Sabu’s balls and gets a gutwrench suplex for two.

Sabu goes for a big assisted dive but can’t quite get it so he just jumps, and I use that word loosely, over the top. Williams is put on the table but Sabu goes through it instead. Was there a point to that being in the match at all? I mean what did that add at all? Hebner tries to get rid of the chair, allowing a belt shot to the head of Sabu to make Williams retain. Well at least he kept the belt.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad really. It’s no classic or anything, but this was much better than I was expecting. Sabu didn’t go completely insane and as usual, it was far better that way. Williams definitely should have won and thankfully he did. This was definitely a passable match and a nice surprise in a way.

Anderson says he’s going to preach tonight and gets the crowd to say they’re jerks. I hate that gimmick.

Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Skye

Madison in leather is something I could get used to. Tara interferes almost immediately as we get an early sex based chant. Dang I hate this crowd at times. Rayne goes for the head of Skye to start as this isn’t as good as expected. Knees to the crotch of Madison makes Taz wonder if that would hurt.

Are there any Knockouts other than the BP and Tara? If there are they never appear on TV. Tara goes for the helmet but Love makes the save. And then Velvet just gets a DDT to get the win. It was as abrupt as it sounds.

Rating: D. This just didn’t do it for me. It was on the exact level as a Divas match with very little wrestling but then again who cares about that when you have the looks? That was only half sarcasm mind you. The division has more or less died over this year and it didn’t get any better here. Pretty bad match.

Hardy, who looks a little blue, says tonight is for RVD. Well of course it is.

Abyss vs. Rhyno

This is falls count anywhere. Rhyno hits a nice dive to take out Abyss and we head to the back. They fight out near the amusement park as Taz is talking about a corndog. I haven’t had one of those in forever. Back into the Impact Zone as it’s your standard one punch knocks you three feet match here. The man beats goes into a trash can to give Abyss control.

The fans want Janice, once again proving how annoying they can be as they cheer the heel. Back on the floor again as Rhyno throws Abyss through part of the stage, where he is followed by Rhyno. The fans chant WE CAN’T SEE, which is true actually. We cut to Tenay and Taz, as I’m guessing Abyss needed a Twinkie break or something. And here comes Rhyno through the other side of the stage.

That gets two for Abyss so he rips apart the guard rail. Rhyno avoids it and hits a running clothesline because the Gore wasn’t appropriate there I guess? The fans chant for Rhyno, showing how fickle they are. Gore misses and a chokeslam onto a trash can gets two. He gets Janice but a Gore puts him down. Naturally it gets two, proving that the Stevie Kick is more powerful than the Gore. Black Hole Slam only gets two which is a surprise. Rhyno gores the guard rail and a Black Hole Slam ends it.

Rating: D+. Just a run of the mill weapons based match. Rhyno kicking out of the first Slam and Abyss doing the same with the Gore were nice surprises but they got no talking or reaction at all. This wasn’t horrible, but at the same time this just didn’t do much for me. Decent little weapons match, but the falls count anywhere portion was pretty pointless at the end of the day.

We recap Jarrett/Joe vs. Nash/Sting. I still don’t get the point of Joe being in this but whatever. This is one of the aspects of the THEY storyline, which isn’t a good thing as it needs to be toned down, but whatever. That and political storylines rarely work in wrestling, so let’s keep doing them right? This video is like 4 minutes long for no apparent reason.

Samoa Joe/Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting/Kevin Nash

Hogan isn’t here again, once again proving his worth to the company. Nash and Sting have the Wolfpack music going here. Sting and Joe start as we talk more about the vague references to things. Taz talks about the politics, which are RIVETING, yes RIVETING I say, to the casual fan that doesn’t get that meaning. Sting in a TNA shirt just looks weird. Joes takes down Nash with a big running jumping kick.

Nash comes in as we talk about how there is no Impact this week. Great to know that on a PPV rather than the TV show but whatever. Nash hits the side slam which is one of my favorite moves. And now we talk about politics and behind the scenes stuff, which makes my head hurt. I watch wrestling for wrestling, not a political drama. Stinger Splash and Jarrett is in trouble.

The crowd cheers for Sting, yet again not getting the point of being fans. Double clothesline and Sting and Jarrett both go down. Hot tag to Joe and the cleaning of house begins. Jarrett gets the bat and pops Sting a few times to a semi-heel (as heel as you can get in TNA that is) and the Clutch from Joe ends it as Sting is out.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but too short to mean much. The idea is that Jarrett shouldn’t have used the bat but did anyway due to insanity or something like that. It’s more overdoing an angle which is the last three months in a nutshell. Yet again a lack of answers which will lead to them just saying the same things over and over again.

We talk about AJ vs. Dreamer, which is the idea of EV 2.0 vs. Fourtune. The video really shows how messed up this feud is as most fans are likely to agree with Fourtune rather than the ECW guys. At least I do.

AJ Styles vs. Tommy Dreamer

I Quit rules. AJ hides behind the ramp to jump Dreamer as he comes through the curtain. Not a bad idea I guess. Shame that it doesn’t work though and we’re off and running. Styles shouts that Dreamer sucks while Dreamer chokes him. Dreamer gets a seated full nelson as he goes No Mercy as well. This has been more or less all Tommy so far, which gives me hope for AJ.

Styles takes over and goes for a figure four on the ramp, but Dreamer pops him with one of the lights that he rips off the ramp. Well that’s different. Crossface with….something across AJ’s mouth doesn’t quite work. Running clothesline while Dreamer is up against the ring. I don’t get how this is worthy of being an I Quit match already but whatever. There goes the padding on the floor which is old school heel stuff here.

Styles Clash on the concrete is blocked and AJ is in trouble after a shoulderbreaker. The fans cheer both guys. Can we get them a lesson in fandom? Semi-Pillmanizer to AJ’s arm and then Dreamer wraps the arm around the chair. AJ pulls a fork out of nowhere and goes for Dreamer’s face, resulting in another crossface. We head to the floor for a bit as Dreamer wraps AJ’s arm around the railing. AJ wraps Dreamer’s ankle around the railing because he’s a copycat. This of course doesn’t work either as we head back into the ring.

Figure four goes on but Dreamer rolls over. Figure Four on the post as I wonder what the post actually adds to it. AJ is kind of obsessed with that hold as he uses it for the third time in like 2 minutes. Dreamer finds the fork AJ had earlier but a Pele sends him to the floor. Suicide dive but AJ jumps into a kendo stick shot. Dreamer gets a crossface with the kendo stick around AJ”s eyes, but it breaks before he quits.

AJ gets another fork (has he been chilling with Abdullah lately?) and apparently stabs Dreamer in the eye with it. A thumb in the eye and a fish hook hold on the mouth makes Dreamer quit. The ending looked great as they continue to try to make AJ a heel no matter what they do. Shame he still gets cheered because HE WRESTLES LIKE A FACE.

Rating: C+. Very brutal and violent match, but again was there a point to having the stipulation there other than to have violence? I know they want it to be like ECW but do they want it to be that aspect of it? I wouldn’t think so, but then again I’m not TNA thank goodness. This was ok, but it just got a bit out there near the end.

Angle says he’ll win.

TNA World Title Tournament – Semi-Finals: Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

Pope vs. Anderson goes on last? Really? Ah wait make sure we get Dixie a quick cameo. The fans are split here, which makes sense in this match at least. Long feeling out process to start which implies a long match. SICK powerbomb from Angle off a reversal but no cover. The fans think this is awesome three minutes in after one big move. They’re improving I suppose.

Angle is dominating for the most part here but Hardy keeps getting out. It’s rare to see a mostly face vs. face match but that doesn’t mean it’s bad. Angle with a reverse bearhug, which more or less equals sitting on the mat with a waistlock on Hardy. Slingshot dropkick misses first but not the second time. The fans of course tell Hardy that he screwed up because Heaven forbid he makes ONE mistake.

Belly to belly from Kurt as he still can throw one of those. Hardy gets a Stunner and Diamond Cutter which is of course called a Twist of Fate. How awesome is that running suplex that Angle does once in awhile? Angle slam sets up the ankle lock but Hardy gets out. Here are the Rolling Germans.

Moonsault and Whisper in the Wind both miss (as in there was no contact on the latter but Angle sold it anyway for two) so we head to the floor. Very solid match so far as they’re doing a slow build pace which is usually a good thing I think. Swanton hits Angle while he is on the floor so everyone is dead. Nice spot, drawing a Jesus Christmas line from Taz. Dixie is concerned and she looks like Morticia Adams.

Back in the ring and they slug it out. Kurt wins, getting a German before an awkward looking Frog Splash for two. The fans think this is awesome and for once they might have a point. It’s pretty good at least. After even more back and forth stuff, Angle takes two Swantons and manages to kick out.

A third gets knees and there’s the Angle Slam for two. We head to the floor again which lasts for about 4 seconds. Sorry for all the play by play but this is a very good match so it’s hard to make jokes. Ankle lock goes on forever (as in like a minute and a half), but Jeff doesn’t tap. There’s the bell, and it’s a time limit draw. There was no countdown or a time limit announced at the start of the match or anything, but what difference should that make?

Crowd COMPLETELY turns on this and boos the heck out of it. Cue Bischoff to add five more minutes. His ankle is dead though so there you go. Ankle lock goes on again but Jeff shakes it off. Naturally he’s mostly fine now and starts the comeback. Solid stuff again here as Jeff takes over.

So much for that as Kurt hits an Angle Slam off the top for two. I would have bet on that as being the ending. Hardy somehow sends him to the floor and Angle BARELY gets back in to avoid a count out. O’Connor Roll gets two and there’s a double clothesline. No pin though after Angle gets two at the very end so FIVE MORE MINUTES!

Ok is there a reason they just didn’t have one big long match? Jeff’s ankle is more or less done but Angle rams into the post. Angle is busted open after hitting the steps on the floor (allegedly). You know because there aren’t any steps in the ring so they had to be on the floor. Wow that was a stretch for a joke.

Hardy more or less puts on a Walls of Jericho and the blood is pouring out of Kurt’s head. Kurt reverses into the ankle lock but Jeff is in the ropes. Apparently being in the ropes for about 5 seconds doesn’t count anymore as Angle pulls him back to the middle of the ring and puts the ankle lock on for about 30 seconds but no tap.

Bischoff wants someone to look at Kurt’s head. This is pretty clearly filler as we need to spend time. Eric declares the match a no contest due to the cut. You have got to be kidding me. Also, do they really think Anderson vs. Pope is going to be able to follow this?

Rating: A-. Match was GREAT, booking is idiotic. This is a way to set up a triple threat or something (because they’re an alternative to WWE right?) like that. This was a great in ring performance though and one of Jeff’s best matches ever. This would be an A+ if not for the constant stoppages and the flat out stupid booking, but that’s TNA for you I guess: you have something great so you overbook it as much as they can.

Pope does a pretty stupid interview about enemas.

TNA World Title Tournament – Semi Finals: Mr. Anderson vs. D’Angelo Dinero

Shouldn’t this be for the title? They start on the mat as I wonder why this is on last. I guess so they didn’t have that idiotic ending end the show? Pope works on Anderson’s shoulder which plays into their feud, so there’s some continuity. I have a little trouble taking a match seriously when the fans all chant Anderson’s catchphrase. Anderson can’t really use the arm at the moment which is some nice selling.

Anderson works on Pope’s shoulder as this is a very slow paced match. Pope blocks a top rope suplex and Anderson goes to the floor. This has been pretty good but the slow pace is hurting it a bit. We hit the near falls aspect of the match and it’s still entertaining. Mic Check is blocked so Anderson hits it 2 seconds later for two. Crowd is pretty much dead mind you. DDE misses and Pope jumps into the Mic Check to end it. Anderson advances to the finals to fight….uh someone. Big F Bomb by Anderson after the match.

Rating: B. Pretty good match here with nothing notably bad and a totally clean ending which is nice. The crowd was just DEAD after the previous match though which is a bad thing and it hurt the match a bit. This was good though and much better than I expected from these two.

Overall Rating: B. Pretty solid show I thought. Nothing is really horrible other than the booking in the Angle/Hardy match. The matches all worked and have been built up to an extent on Impact. The PPVs are usually far better than Impact and this was no exception. With a great match in the first semi-final and some good stuff for the rest of the show, how can you really complain here? Solid show and I liked it FAR more than I expected to.




No Surrender Predictions

The show is tomorrow and I forgot to put this up until now.

 

There are only two things that matter so here are my picks for them:Given how they’ve changed the finals of the tournament from a fourway at the beginning to a tournament (I might have imagined that one since it makes the most sense) to whoever has the most points, I have no idea who is winning it.  I mean it’s not like TNA did anything on Impact to make us care about the matches or tell us who needs to do what to win for people that were being sold on the PPV at the last show, but that would have made sense and is why TNA never grows its audience.  I’ll take Roode for lack of anyone better.

 

As for the main event I’ll take Angle I guess but I’m not caring about the match or the show much at all.

 

Your picks?  You can predict any of the matches of course.




Impact Wrestling – September 8, 2011 – Jeff Hardy Is Late And Back

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 8, 2011
Location: Von Braun Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s week two in Alabama and it’s also the go home show for No Surrender. That being said, we only have most of the card so far and the world title match has only been announced on Facebook instead of, you know, on the TV show which the majority of the audience actually sees. The big thing tonight is the return of Jeff Hardy on the day that he was sentenced to ten days in jail on drug charges. The return speech could be very interesting. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about Jeff Hardy and the mess that was Victory Road. He’s back tonight you know.

We also get a clip of last week where Hogan beat Sting up with a chair and cost him the world title. Anderson gets his rematch tonight.

Here’s Anderson to open the show. He talks about how he hasn’t had much to say the last few weeks because he’s been a man of action recently. He signed a deal with the devil though, and that was his own fault. Anderson welcomes the boos for it. The wide shots are really good to see here as there are actual people there instead of it looking like they’re in a lunchbox.

He turns his attention to Bully Ray for keeping him on the outside looking in. Anderson promises to be more annoying than ever before and tonight it starts with him going after Angle. Anderson brings up the dreaded rematch clause and he’s cashing in tonight. He knows it won’t be one on one and he points to the ramp. Here’s Sting to be Anderson’s backup. Sting says he’s like a fungus that won’t go away. This week he’s got the power of the Network and he’ll be the enforcer in the main event.

D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero vs. British Invasion

Winners get Mexican America on Sunday. No intro for the Brits. Magnus vs. D-Von to start. Off to Pope quickly who hammers away with elbows to the head. Williams comes in and slows things down a bit as you would expect from him. A clothesline gets two for Magnus. Mexican America are on commentatry. A middle rope elbow by Magnus gets two for Williams.

Pope fires off a DDT to Magnus and both guys are down. There’s the hot tag to D-Von who cleans house with right hands and power moves. Powerslam gets two on Williams. A Cactus Clothesline by Pope puts Williams on the floor and a release spinebuster by D-Von ends Magnus at 3:56. They seem fine despite almost always having problems.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here but it wasn’t that bad. Didn’t D-Von not particularly like Pope last week though? Also this is the best they can do for #1 contenders? They’ve won a total of one tag match (this one) and now they get a title shot. That’s wrestling for you I suppose.

An MMA fighter comes in to see Angle.

The Final Four in the BFG Series are Gunner, Roode, Storm and Ray. The matches Sunday are Roode vs. Gunner and Storm vs. Ray. The guy with the most points after those matches go to the PPV. It’s not a tournament, it’s really a points system to go to the biggest show of the year.

All four finalists are in the ring and Ray gets JB out of there. He respects Beer Money but neither of them is going to Bound For Glory. Ray talks about how tag teams want to become great individual wrestlers and every team has done it. Gunner is a guy that is willing to put his personal desires aside and will make sure Ray goes to BFG to win the title. Wrestlers are selfish so Beer Money won’t lay down for each other.

Roode says he doesn’t buy any of what Ray said but they have their eyes set on the world title. They want to be world champion and Sunday only one can walk out #1 contender. Roode asks Ray who is going to be the better man. It’s going to be Roode or Storm because it’s not going to be Gunner or Ray. Roode promises the Beer Money fans that no one will ever split them and no one will ever kill Beer Money. There’s a fatal fourway later on.

We get a recap of Eric’s Hollywood Adventures.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. Eric Young

That MMA guy is on commentary again. What he has to do with this is beyond me but who cares. Robbie keeps trying to put his feet on the ropes for covers and the referee stops counting. And there go Eric’s pants and he’s wearing Jersey Shore style trunks. He hits the top rope elbow for two. A piledriver ends this at 2:51. I’m fine with these antics if the title is defended.

Rob Terry beats up Young post match with a Last Ride.

RVD is looking for Jerry Lynn and hey there he is. Rob gets in his face and Jerry asks what about him. He complains about having to get a real job instead of getting contracts like Rob did. Eric and Hulk called him and asked him about showing up and he said he’s better than Rob. He admits to screwing him and Rob beats him down.

Velvet talks to Mickie who has a dog with her. She mentions wanting to be champion someday. Karen comes in and complains about life in general, saying get rid of the dog. Winter gets her rematch at No Surrender.

Jeff Hardy is here.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

Sting is guest enforcer. They exchange headlocks to start and it’s a tossup. Angle takes Anderson down with a clothesline and we hit the chinlock. They collide in the middle of the ring and both guys are down. They’re mirroring each other so far. Anderson tries to speed it up but gets caught in a belly to belly for two. Angle Slam is countered and Anderson hits the rolling fireman’s carry drop for two.

Kurt counters the Mic Check and hits the Rolling Germans for two. There go the straps and the ankle lock goes on. Anderson manages to roll through and get two before the Mic Check gets the same. The referee takes a thumb to the eye so Kurt kicks him low and hits the Slam but Sting pulls the referee out. Anderson hits another Mic Check but here’s Gunner for the DQ at 7:12.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t into this as it felt like they were just going through the motions to get to the DQ ending. I can’t stand matches like that because they’re boring and don’t show anything that these guys are capable of. Not a good match for the most part but when you handcuff them like this there’s only so much they can do.

Immortal beats down both guys post match. The fans chant for Hardy but that gets them nowhere.

Immortal is celebrating while Eric is on the phone and doesn’t look happy. He tells them to go outside and isn’t happy with what he hears. He’s almost freaking out about it, asking if it’s a prank call. No idea what it is.

Mickie James/Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love/Winter

Winter vs. Velvet to start but it’s off to Mickie vs. Angelina before there’s any contact at all. Mickie snaps off a rana out of the corner but a Winter distraction results in a kick to the ribs. Velvet gets a blind tag to come in and a low dropkick gets two. There’s a weak monkey flip and she takes both Winter and Angelina down with a headlock/headscissors combo. Love cheats again and Velvet gets beaten down for awhile. After a long beatdown she makes the hot tag to Mickie and we get the title match preview. With the big hulabaloo going on, Winter sprays blood into Mickie’s face at 5:10 for the pin.

Rating: D+. Love is so skinny it’s getting scary. Other than that, this was your typical Knockout tag: it’s not bad but it’s better than the Divas which is the entire point. I’m still not sure why they gave Mickie the title back already and I hope they don’t give it to Winter again on Sunday because it would be pretty stupid to have the change that fast. This wasn’t terrible though.

Here’s Austin Aries to say he’s going to win the title Sunday. He tells the fans to shut up a lot so clearly he’s not a nice person. Aries calls Kendrick a hypocrite and calls out Kendrick here and now. Here’s the champ in a suit with a briefacse. He talks about being tired of being a social outcast and wants to be a success, like Aries. “I’m even wearing shoes!” And yeah he hates them. He goes into a bit rant about how he needs to be free to reach his mother earth and quotes Buddha a bit. Kendrick calls the title materialistic and Aries insults him a lot. The brawl is on and Aries runs.

Hogan is freaking in a good way and Eric is still upset. He talks about going to the beach and Eric says we’re not done yet. The Network isn’t happy. Because of the beating that Hogan is so happy about there’s a three way for the title at No Surrender with Angle vs. Sting vs. Anderson.

James Storm vs. Robert Roode vs. Gunner vs. Bully Ray

One fall to a finish here. It’s tornado rules too. Here’s Joe almost immediately and here’s Morgan just as fast to stop him. Morgan vs. Joe on Sunday also. Ray and Storm stand tall for a bit until Ray runs Storm over. Beer Money cleans house and teases going at it until Ray breaks that up. Gunner goes for a cover and Ray isn’t happy with it. A big clothesline gets two on Roode.

Storm comes back in with a top rope cross body and beats up Gunner a bit. Roode hammers on Gunner and hits the spinebuster for two. Beer Money teases it again but instead they suplex Gunner and SHOUT THEIR NAMES. Ray runs them both over and takes them both out with power stuff. Gunner hits a running knee to Ray’s head for the pin at 5:00. That was nice as he was left in the background and then stole the pin.

Rating: C. This was ok but it was nothing great. I wish this had been the way the BFG Final went at the PPV because it would make more sense but I guess they need to flesh out the card more and have some overly complicated rules. Not bad here and Gunner winning was a nice surprise also. Nothing great but not bad.

Here’s Jeff with like two minutes left. He talks about how he was messed up last time and he’s sorry about it. He had a problem and hit rock bottom there. Everyone is mad at him and he can’t blame them. His eyes look decent at least. He wants one more shot. The fans chant one more shot. He says all he can do is ask and that’s it.

Overall Rating: B-. Pretty good show this week but you can see a lot of problems. For one thing we got three title matches added with three days left before the PPV, one of which is the main event. That’s a match that could draw in some people and they’re adding it in at the last minute. The Hardy thing is too early to tell but my initial instinct is not to trust him, which is partially the point and all of the problem. Good show this week but No Surrender feels thrown together and that’s not good.

Results

D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero b. British Invasion – Spinebuster to Williams

Eric Young b. Robbie E – Piledriver

Mr. Anderson b. Kurt Angle via DQ when Gunner interfered

Winter/Angelina Love b. Mickie James/Velvet Sky – Winter spit blood in James’ face

Gunner b. James Storm, Robert Roode and Bully Ray – Running knee to Ray