Slammiversary 2007
Date: June 17, 2007
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

Back to TNA again and in this case it’s the anniversary show. Since Eric and Hulk aren’t around yet, we have the then signature TNA match in the form of the King of the Mountain. This is for the vacant title because the NWA left and therefore we’re needing a first official TNA World Champion. Chris Harris is in the main event because…..I don’t think anyone knows the answer to that actually. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a of some shots of old wrestling and then the original TNA logo. We cut to some country/bluegrass style music set to clips of the old TNA stuff. Jarrett beating up Hogan is in there. Hogan never came to TNA until 2010, officially at least. Now we’re looking at someone that looks like Tiger Woods putting a golf ball as West and Tenay do commentary. Jeff Jarrett hits him with a guitar and keeps the ball from going in. Ok then.

Some band performs the theme song for the PPV. Fast forward time.

LAX vs. Rhyno/Senshi

LAX had dominated the company in 07 and this is Senshi (Kaval) and Rhyno’s first time teaming together. The camera seems a bit lower than usual. Maybe it’s a venue thing. Hector Guerrero is with Senshi/Rhyno because Konnan has been blaming him for LAX losing the tag belts. Rhyno and Homicide start us off and a powerbomb is messed up, sending Homicide to the floor I think by mistake.

Off to Senshi who steps onto the bottom rope to get in. Hernandez comes in and Senshi manages to get out of the way to preserve his life. He goes after SuperMex’s leg which doesn’t really do much at all. LAX can’t get anything going here and never mind that as Hernandez picks Senshi up and LAUNCHES him across the ring. I mean that man was airborne. It looked incredible.

Back to Homicide as LAX takes over and beats on Senshi. Rhyno hasn’t really done much so far but I guess they’re saving him for the big hot tag at the end. To be fair he’s good at the big explosive comebacks so I can live with that one. Hernandez throws Senshi around again but a powerbomb is countered and Senshi manages to hit the double stomp to set up the aforementioned hot tag. Rhyno throws everyone around and Hernandez goes to the floor. Senshi hits a HUGE dive to take him out but Homicide hits a cutter on Rhyno. Konnan and Hector get involved, allowing Rhyno to gore Homicide for the pin.

Rating: B-. Fun opener here and the high spots were VERY high. That’s how you open a show as the crowd is now really fired up and it’s due to the proper pacing of a tag match. On top of that, they kept it relatively short (8 minutes or so) which is the idea for an opener. Good stuff here and I liked it quite a bit.

Scott Steiner is legit injured and had to legit have his life saved in Puerto Rico so he might not be here.

We run down the card because that’s what TNA does on its PPVs.

There’s a mystery person in King of the Mountain, which I’ve already spoiled.

Video explaining King of the Mountain. We even recap the qualifying matches to fill in even more time.

Eric Young is all paranoid about getting fired. Traci Brooks, Roode’s associate, comes up to try and seduce him which would eventually work, making him sign with Roode. Gail Kim comes in and snaps him out of it by kissing him.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Jay Lethal

Sabin has been champion for like five months at this point. Nash comes out for commentary because he’s molded Lethal into Black Machismo recently. Nash’s headset goes out almost immediately after the bell rings and the fans are split. Lethal gets a pretty sweet headscissors to send him to the floor, followed by an ok suicide dive. Sabin spits in Lethal’s face and hits a jumping knee to the face to take over.

Sabin fires off something like a Garvin Stomp but does it fast enough that I don’t have to think of Garvin. The announcers are talking about Nash beating Backlund in MSG. How exactly can you analyze a match that lasted 8 seconds? We go into a standard match formula with Sabin beating Lethal down until we get to the Lethal comeback and then go to the finish.

I’m not sure what it means when you can more or less call the formula for a match about halfway through it, but I don’t think it’s anything good. Lethal makes that comeback with a few hip tosses and a spinning cross body for two. Nash: “This place used to be called Jonesville. Then I got here.” Lethal hits a unique move which can only be described as a reverse fisherman’s suplex into a reverse powerbomb. Looked good but too complicated at the same time.

Sabin takes over with some rapid fire kicks which is what he would get more famous as soon enough in the Motor City Machine Guns. Lethal grabs a full nelson but can’t hit the Lethal Combination. The second time works a bit better and the big elbow gives Lethal his first of I believe six X-Titles.

Rating: C. Just ok here and nothing all that great. Lethal wasn’t exactly over yet and he wouldn’t be for a long time. At this point he was just a goofy 22 year old who did nothing but imitated a much better guy. Nothing to see here but for a big show they needed a title change so that’s all fine and good.

At the Slammiversary press conference, we set up the football players match. Yeah there are former Tennessee Titans wrestling tonight. Oh joy.

Storm is with Lauren (GORGEOUS) and rants about Wycheck some more.

Frank Wycheck/Jerry Lynn vs. James Storm/Ron Killings

Why is this happening? Oh because Wycheck was at the first shows. Ok then. Truth and Lynn start us off which is probably the best thing they can do. Off to Wycheck for the showdown with Storm….and Storm knocks him down on the first shot. Storm puts on a Titans helmet and dances around a bit and then knocks Wycheck down again.

Frank takes over and throws Lynn over the top onto the heels and the fans think this is good stuff. I guess the TNA stupidity follows them around. Wycheck misses a shot and is in trouble again. He had to retire due to concussions so the heels go for his head. A chair is brought in but the distraction is enough to get the tag to Lynn. Eye of the Storm takes care of him and Storm spits beer in the face of the other football player at ringside.

Truth comes in and doesn’t do as well so it’s a double tag again. Wycheck beats up both heels with celebrity stuff but Storm kicks his head off to cheers. The other football player makes the save and gets in a fight with Jackie. Everything breaks down and Storm has to take the cradle piledriver from Wycheck. Dang I hope he got a nice big bonus for that one.

Rating: D. I hate celebrity matches. I have no connection to Frank Wycheck and the only reason he’s there was he was a big football player in Tennessee. I love the NFL, but this doesn’t mean anything to me and we have to get a bad match that looks like Storm isn’t talented enough to beat a guy with zero experience. I hate these things.

We recap Backlund vs. Shelley. Shelley was one of Nash’s students and Backlund was crazy about Nash beating him back in 94. Shelley said that he could beat Backlund in 9 seconds and there was something about a book being stolen or something like that.

Bob Backlund vs. Alex Shelley

Backlund is one of those cases where I have no idea what they were thinking when they brought him in. We hear the stories of Backlund not signing autographs unless you can recite all of the presidents in order. Backlund takes him down with ease and the fans are mostly on Shelley’s side. They slug it out a bit and Backlund takes him into a short armed scissors. Backlund uses the British Bulldog/Shawn Michaels counter (which should be called the Backlund counter but whatever).

Backlund hits a gorgeous butterfly suplex and then an atomic drop which used to be Backlund’s finisher. Sabin runs in to trip him up but gets crotched on the top. Shelley gets dropped into Sabin’s balls and a bridging O’Connor Roll beats Shelley clean. Yes, Bob Backlund just destroyed the Motor City Machineguns by himself in less than four minutes.

Rating: C-. The match was fine but this is a great example of “what were they thinking”. I mean don’t get me wrong, Backlund is a legend, but this is the year 2007. Who are they really appealing to with him? This one isn’t about me being mad about him being there, but more of genuine confusion. I don’t get this one at all.

The Guns try to double team him but they both get put in the Crossface Chickenwing. Nash comes out to break it up and Jerry Lynn comes out to even the odds. Nash kicks Lynn down and the Guns beat up Backlund. Now Jay Lethal comes down and beats up the Guns as well. I have NO IDEA what just happened.

Christopher Daniels starts calling out Sting and the lights go out. He’s the Fallen Angel at the moment and is facing Sting tonight. Daniels talks about being here to do the Father’s work and how he’s an angel. Again, I have no idea what they’re talking about here and I don’t think they know either.

We recap Christy Hemme vs. the Voodoo Kin Mafia (New Age Outlaws). They basically said you have to sleep your way to the top so she brought in a bunch of teams to face them and I think this is the final one with her bringing in the Bashams. There was a big brawl backstage and Road Dogg gave a big angry promo about it.

Voodoo Kin Mafia vs. Damaja/Basham

At least we can look at Christy’s hottness. Big brawl to start and no one is really all that interested. Christy is chased into the ring and oh hey there’s the bell. Basham (Danny) vs. Road Dogg to start us off. Roadie gets beaten down and it’s off to Kip. He gets double teamed as well as the Bashams set for a double suplex. Roadie spears one of them and Billy gets a small package to Basham for the pin. This was NOTHING, not even lasting three minutes.

Billy chases Christy up the ramp but VKM associate Lance Hoyt picks her off. And then Hoyt beats up the VKM. Jimmy Rave would be added to form the Rock N Rave Infection which would only result in more tiny outfits for Christy and nothing else to note. This should have been on Impact. Oh and Christy kisses Hoyt after the Bashams help for a 3-2 beatdown.

Rick Steiner is mad about not having a match tonight but he has a partner. He whispers it in Cornette’s ear and Jim is very happy, saying the match is on.

LAX beats up Hector Guerrero.

We recap Roode vs. Young which is STILL going on. Jeff Jarrett made a one off return to help Eric and won Young’s freedom which didn’t count. The match is for Eric’s freedom of course but if Eric loses he’s fired, which was what Eric was terrified of at this point.

Robert Roode vs. Eric Young

Roode slaps Young in the head a bit and it fires Young up, making him shout HIT ME AGAIN. Young sends him to the floor and hits a huge dive off the top to take Roode out. Roode takes over quickly and we make Brooks jokes. There’s the Hennig neck snap and Roode is in total control. Time for a chinlock and I remember why I hated this heel run by Roode.

Eric counters into an electric chair drop and both guys are down. Discus lariat gets two for Eric. Young is sent to the floor so he pulls Brooks’ pants down after dancing with her. Top rope elbow gets two for Eric. Brooks comes in and there’s a double Death Valley Driver which gets two on Roode. You know, because a big and impressive spot like that shouldn’t end a match. And then Roode whacks Eric in the head with a chair for the pin. Seriously that’s it.

Rating: C-. The ending KILLS that match. Young was rather popular at this point and having him lose after a big spot like that is really pretty stupid. Roode was SO freaking boring as a heel and he never really changed anything about his character, which somehow made him even more boring. Decent match until the ending, but that kills it.

It’s a Dusty Finish though. Roode fires Eric but here’s Cornette to say hang on a second. The match is restarted and Roode hits him in the head multiple times. Gail runs out and beats down Brooks. The distraction leads to a rollup pin for Eric.

Team 3D doesn’t care who Steiner’s partner is. They think Scott’s throat problem is because he talked about the Dudleys too much and he’s hiding. D-Von’s head looks like it’s made of old shoe leather.

Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. Rick Steiner/???

And the mystery partner is….Road Warrior Animal. Yeah that’s it. The fans chanting it before he came out kind of hurt the shock a bit. Rick puts on his head gear post bell and it makes a huge difference. Rick vs. D-Von to start us off. I don’t think Scott is in the hospital. I think it’s more like he and Animal cooked him and had him for a late night snack. It would explain those guts on them.

Animal offers to come in and Rick waves him off. Nice partner dude. Oh ok there he is and Ray gets in his face. A piledriver is no sold and we have gimmick infringement from Hawk. I guess since he’s dead it’s ok. Back to Rick and they mistime something, as I think Ray was supposed to hit Rick as he hit the ropes but Rick stopped with zero contact at all. Off to Bubba legally and a neckbreaker gets two.

D-Von misses a middle rope headbutt and there’s the tag to Animal. Something I never get: why can a team that has never teamed together before like Steiner and Animal get a tag title match? There isn’t another team that can challenge the Dudleys? Animal cleans house and it’s back to Rick as everything breaks down. The challengers try to load up the Doomsday Device but Animal gets caught in the double neckbreaker and the 3D ends Rick.

Rating: D. These “dream” matches usually suck because by the time you get teams big enough to have a dream match, they’re old. To be fair though, there was almost no way Animal, who barely wrestled anymore, was going to be able to come out there and have a decent match. Scott may be old and slow but he’s active at least. Bad match, but understandably bad.

We recap Daniels vs. Sting. Sting mentored him which I don’t even remember and Daniels snapped because of it. I remember being excited for this match but thinking the match sucked. I wonder if it’ll still be the case. Wait….that might have been Sting vs. Storm. I think it was actually.

Christopher Daniels vs. Sting

Sting repels from the ceiling for no apparent reason. It looked cool though. Sting takes over to start and speeds things up, which you would think would favor Daniels. He hooks the Deathlock very quickly but Daniels grabs a fast rope. Daniels takes over and has a stupid Mike Tyson style tattoo (paint) around his eye. Sting fights back but neither guy can get a hip toss.

We go old school with an abdominal stretch which doesn’t count for some reason. Daniels and Hebner get into it a bit and then he snaps off a Stinger Splash. This of course fires up the Stinger and Daniels is in trouble. Faceplant gets two. Two Stinger Splashes are broken up and the Last Rites (Cross Rhodes) is countered into the Death Drop for the pin.

Rating: D+. Yeah it was this match that I found boring and lackluster. There was nothing here at all and Sting just beat him up like he was any other guy. Daniels had been built up as the guy that could take down Sting and Sting destroyed him here. I don’t get the point of this one and it didn’t work at all.

We recap Abyss vs. Tomko. This was another part of Abyss vs. Christian’s Coalition. Abyss had taken a huge beatdown from the whole team and Tomko is the first victim for him.

Christian’s Coalition says Christian will win the title tonight. AJ protests because he’s in there too. Christian says AJ will sacrifice himself so Christian can win the title and Styles isn’t sure what to think of that but he goes along with it because he’s an idiot at this point.

Tomko vs. Abyss

This is No DQ. Slugout to start is won by Abyss and they head to the floor. Tomko takes over with the violent tendencies, ramming Abyss into the steps to take over. Back in a bit boot puts Tomko down and TOTALLY misses an Umaga charge in the corner. Tomko sold it anyway because he’s not that talented. Chokeslam gets two. Here are the tacks but Tomko reverses and powerbombs Abyss onto them for two.

Abyss’ arm is busted open so he fires a shot to Tomko and hits the floor to get another bag. This time it’s glass but again he takes too long and Tomko gets a big jagged piece and drives it into Abyss’ head. In a SICK spot, Abyss is kneeling over the glass so Tomko practically curb stomps him into it. FREAKING OW MAN!!! They head to the floor again and Tomko finds a barbed wire ball bat which goes into the ribs and back of Abyss.

They go to the entrance and begin to climb. This isn’t going to end well. Tomko is up top with the bat but Abyss grabs the bat and pulls Tomko down to a big box sort of thing which falls apart. Tomko being up a few seconds later completely ruins the spot. I mean he’s up maybe 8 seconds later. Abyss is down even longer than Tomko was after that flip. Are you kidding me? Back in the ring, Tomko tries to pick Abyss up but walks into the Black Hole Slam onto the glass for the pin. That was pretty anti-climactic.

Rating: B-. This was about violence and on that note it worked, but the big spot of the match completely bombed. Like I said, having him pop up so fast just killed it. Not a great match or anything here but it was fun for the most part and that’s really all they could have hoped for out of this one.

Angle and Joe stare it down in the back. Angle says let’s go have a great match and beat each other up badly. Joe shakes his hand but says tonight it’s real.

Mike Tenay is in the ring for some reason. He shows us an interview with Jeff Jarrett. His wife Jill had legitimately died recently and he wasn’t sure if he was going to keep wrestling. He talks about the history of the company, including stuff like Toby Keith and beating up Hulk Hogan. He talks about founding the company and his wife agreeing that it was ok. Then he gets to the heavy stuff, talking about his wife passing away less than a month ago. Jarrett is in tears almost the entire time while he’s saying this. Being in the ring is the worst place he can be right now though, so his future is unknown.

The fans aren’t sure if they should chant for Jill or Jeff.

Cornette announces the last guy in the match will be Chris Harris.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles vs. Christian Cage vs. Chris Harris

This is King of the Mountain and the title is vacant. Ok so King of the Mountain is TNA’s signature match, or at least it was before Hogan and Bischoff took over. There are five guys and there is a place to hang the belt above the ring. In essence, it’s a reverse ladder match because you have to hang the belt above the ring. Before you’re allowed to do that though, you have to qualify by pinning someone else. When someone is pinned that person has to go to the penalty box for two minutes. Got all that?

Joe goes right after Angle. Cornette is holding the belt. This is kind of a mess at first which makes it really hard to call. Cage and Styles beat up Harris and then Styles lays down for Cage. Angle makes the save but Joe wants to hurt him some more. Styles takes Harris down again and wants Christian to lay down. Christian says no so Styles rolls him up for two. The camera is all over the place, making it really hard to keep up with.

Joe and Christian are in the ring now and down goes the Canadian. Off to Harris but the Cataonic and Unprettier both miss. A full nelson slam puts Christian down but Styles breaks it up. He gets caught in the Catatonic for a fast pin by Harris, making him eligible. The clock for AJ is at 1:30 by the time he gets in the cage. Harris and Cage fight on the floor so Joe throws a ladder at them.

Back to Angle vs. Joe with the fat boy taking over. Angle grabs a boot though and here are the Rolling Germans. Christian comes in and is in an ankle lock/Koquina Clutch combo. Styles gets out just in time for the save. Cage puts a ladder between the ring and barricade like a bridge. Christian falls down onto it due to a right hand by Harris to crotch him. On top of that he’s stuck there.

In the ring, AJ hits the Pele and springboard forearm to put Joe outside. Styles Clash to Angle is countered into the ankle lock but AJ breaks it, sending Kurt to the floor. AJ gets launched onto Christian onto the ladder. Harris goes up another ladder but Angle Slams him off for a pin to become eligible. Joe THINKS and throws the ladder to the floor. He beats up everyone in sight, hitting a MuscleBuster on AJ for two.

We get a ref bump in a gimmick match. Angle gets put in the choke and he taps, but there’s no referee. Christian hits Joe with a ladder and steals the pin on Kurt. Man there are some smart people in this company. The referee can’t let Harris out even though his time is up. Oh there’s another referee so it doesn’t matter. Joe stops Christian from hanging the belt and hits a huge cutter off the ladder onto the belt.

Harris goes up with the belt and people start booing. A belt shot stops Joe and he hiptosses Christian off, but Styles hits a springboard dropkick to break it up. Angle is out of the box. AJ and Joe climb on top of the box for no apparent reason. AJ kicks Joe low but Joe launches AJ off the top and through the announce table. Harris knocks Joe off the top and Christian is tossed back into the ring after climbing up as well. Harris hits a huge clothesline to kill Angle.

Everyone is down so Harris goes Terry Funk and spins around with the ladder over his head. He goes up AGAIN but Christian knocks him over and into the buckle. Christian goes up but Kurt grabs the ankle lock while the Canadian is still up there. No tap though and they fight on the ladder. Harris spears Christian off and Angle hangs the belt to become champion. How bad is it that I don’t remember him pinning anyone? I had to go back and find where he pinned Harris.

Rating: B. Good match here as the King of the Mountain was its usual insane but fun self. This is TNA’s signature match and almost as usual it gets to be a fun match. Angle winning the title and becoming the first champion is probably the right move. They waited WAY too long on pulling the trigger on Joe, but that’s TNA for you. Good main event though.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a really hard one to grade. There’s some good stuff on there for sure and the last two matches are both fun, but MY GOODNESS is this a chore to sit through. The core of this show is just exhausting and it feels like it’s never going to end. Not a horrible show at all but I’d have a remote in hand to fast forward about 60% of it, which isn’t a good thing at all.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

So as you may have heard, Becca and I took in the TNA house show tonight in Lexington at the baseball stadium. More details to come, but the conclusion: I don’t think I’ve ever had more fun at a wrestling show and that includes going to a WWE pay per view.  Let’s get to it.

 

First of all, the stadium is less than 15 minutes from my house so driving was no issue. The tickets were $15 each and include a voucher each to any Lexington Legends baseball game this season. The seats were along the third base line with a view of the ring at home plate. For you non baseball fans, we had good seats and were looking down on the ring. The ring is clearly smaller than a WWE ring but it doesn’t look bad at all.

 

We got there at about 7:00 for a 7:30 show. At about 7:25, JB announced that you could purchase a VIP pass and meet James Storm, Gunner (tag champions as of this writing), AJ Styles, Jeff Hardy, Bully Ray (world champion) and D-Von at intermission plus get a photo in the ring with a TNA superstar to be named at the end of the show. All this was $50 for two people so we were down there cash in hand and got the first pass handed out. This was instantly more fun than the WWE house show we took in a few months ago. Can you imagine WWE offering a chance like that to its fans?

 

More on that later. On with the matches.

 

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Kenny King

 

The first interesting thing was the way the wrestlers came to the ring. They came out of the right field wall and rode golf carts to the ring. There’s something amusing about that and it made me chuckle every time. Also, you have to love TNA breaking its own rules as this was a one on one X Title match instead of a triple threat. The fans didn’t care about King but gave Sabin some polite applause. The champion (Sabin) stomped his foot to get the fans to clap. King tried the same thing and got silence in a funny bit.

 

The match was fine and about what you would expect from these two. Sabin worked on the arm to start but the most notable thing to start was how loud the ring was. Every time they hit the mat it sounded like cymbals crashing together. The ring mic was turned way down for the rest of the night and it was an improvement. King snapped Sabin’s neck across the top rope to take over and swung a bat like a home run. Kenny missed something off the top, Sabin hit some kicks, and Hail Sabin ended it in about 8:00. It was a good fast paced opener and the crowd was into Sabin.

 

Before the next match, Earl Hebner got his own entrance. He took off his regular referee shirt to reveal his YES I DID (screw Bret) shirt. He even pulled out some Bret glasses and did Hart’s poses in the ring.

 

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky

 

Velvet limped to the ring to sell the knee injury from Impact. Mickie is fully heel, but you would have no idea that was the case tonight. Surprisingly enough, if you have a gorgeous brunette in Daisy Duke shorts and a sports bra with theme music talking about being a southern girl in Kentucky, the fans are going to cheer her a lot. This match didn’t do much for me although the view was very nice.

 

Mickie worked on the knee and took the tape off of it and the fans booed her. Yes, she attacked an injury and people booed without some complicated backstory, long winded story, or any heavy handed explanation. A heel did heelish things and the fans booed her. Mickie won with the MickieDT in about 5:30. Not much to see here.

 

AJ Styles vs. Garrett Bischoff

 

This was long and all about AJ Styles. Bischoff got no reaction from the crowd, but AJ got a standing ovation. There wasn’t much to see here but Garrett didn’t completely embarrass himself, meaning he’s improving. AJ worked on the arm and Garrett shouted OW in a funny bit. Garrett took over with a spear and beat on AJ for a long bit but AJ came back with a dive to the floor and the springboard forearm. They rolled out of the corner and AJ got the Calf Killer for the tap out at 11:45. It was a better match than expected but AJ completely carried it.

 

Tag Titles: James Storm/Gunner vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries

 

As you may have heard, Storm is wrestling hurt and it’s very clear if you watch him for a few seconds. Storm was introduced as the Cowboy instead of the Tennessee Cowboy to keep the Kentucky fans from booing him. Just before the bell the challengers (Aries/Roode) went to the pitcher’s mound with Aries pretending to pitch as Storm caught and Gunner took a batter’s stance in the ring. Storm got bored and picked up some cotton candy from a vendor to give to fans.

 

Roode and Aries wanted quiet from the crowd but Brian Hebner couldn’t get the fans to be quiet. It was a comedy match to start with the champions sending Roode into Aries’ groin. The challengers went to the floor with Roode shaking his head and Aries doing squats to stretch things out. Everything spilled onto the floor with Storm throwing a bunch of beers into Roode’s face while Gunner and Aries spent a good 45 seconds trying to suplex each other next to the pitcher’s mound (Gunner won with a front suplex).

 

They finally got back inside and Storm played Ricky Morton. It was clear that he was moving in slow motion and doing basic stuff while the other guys did the heavy lifting. Gunner finally got the hot tag and everything broke down. Roode got a beer but walked into Closing Time to spit the beer everywhere. Aries took the Last Call (more beer everywhere) followed by a torture rack from Gunner for the win at about 20:00. This was the best and by far the most entertaining match of the night. Aries was very impressive and Becca was very entertained by him.

 

Next was intermission and we got to go meet the previously mentioned wrestlers. Before we got to the wrestlers, Austin Aries popped up in street clothes and waved over some people he knew. I got a fist bump and said hi to him and got a polite hello. Aries is shorter than he looks on television but seemed to be a nice guy.

 

There were two sets of tables set up with Bully Ray and D-Von on one side and everyone else on the other. I told D-Von that I loved the TLC matches and he gave a quiet but distinct thank you and gave me a fist bump (no handshakes for him apparently). Ray signed his name with WHC underneath it and basically punched my fist when I reached it out to him for a fist bump. He’s either playing a great heel or a huge jerk in real life but it fit very well.

 

Next up was Jeff Hardy. A girl in front of me was one of the biggest Jeff fans in the world and was crying her eyes out from getting to meet him. Jeff took a quick picture with her despite the security guard asking us to take pictures as Jeff signed. His match was first up after the intermission so the rush is understandable. I told him I went nuts when he won the world title and he gave a very curt thank you and shook my hand. He was very quiet but not rude or anything.

 

James Storm and Gunner were next and both were very nice. I told Storm I had been a big fan of AMW and he smiled and thanked me. Gunner will almost crush your hand when he shakes it so the intensity thing really suits him. I said I enjoyed his match and he said he was really enjoying teaming with James. He sounded professional for lack of a better word, but it was an odd visual to see him still in his trunks and a t-shirt. As I was talking to him, a kid in a New Orleans Saints jersey was talking to Storm and Storm asked who the Saints QB and coach were. The kid said something I couldn’t hear and Gunner asked Storm what the kid said. Storm said he had no idea and didn’t know the answers either and laughed.

 

Last up was AJ Styles who was in a hat and looking down a bit. He signed my paper and I told him I had been a fan since TNA started. He looked up and gave a polite thank you and shook my hand. That Georgia accent comes through on every word he says just like it does on TV.

 

After this we literally ran back to catch Earl and Brian Hebner signing pictures and Hebner’s shirt for $20 total. Earl asked if we liked the VIP signing and was happy we enjoyed it. Becca is a huge Earl Hebner fan (I don’t get it either) and freaked out when he shook her hand. He asked if we had a camera so I got a quick picture of them. Earl was a nice guy and I got to ask him which referee was the evil one when Andre and DiBiase cheated Hogan out of the title in 1988 (Earl said he was the evil one, like always).

 

 

Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Anderson

 

Hardy got a big pop once people realized it was his music playing. Jeff went around the front row and high fived fans while Anderson did what looked like a Nazi goose step and salute. I didn’t get a good view of it but he was definitely doing the high step. There wasn’t much to this at all but Anderson did Hardy’s dance in a funny moment. Anderson controlled most of the match but Hardy came back with his usual stuff. The Mic Check was countered into the Twist of Fate for the pin at about 7:30. I had never seen Jeff wrestle live so this was a bit of a treat. It looked like he had an ice pack on his elbow after the match but it didn’t look serious.

 

Bully Ray/D-Von vs. Sting/Kurt Angle

 

The world title belt is very shiny as you could see the reflection from across the field. Sting and Angle came out to Sting’s music and both were introduced as Hall of Famers. The fans were WAY into both guys so the star power was rolling here. Angle got beaten down to start and the Dudleys hit a kind of botched reverse 3D (the one where Bully does a belly to back suplex into a D-Von neckbreaker. For some reason D-Von was doing Bully’s part and then they seemed to realize they had it backwards).

 

Angle clotheslined D-Von down and D-Von did a Spinarooni to get back up. Sting got the hot tag and eveyrthing broke down with Angle and D-Von going outside. Sting hit Stinger Splashes on everyone but the referee was bumped just before Sting gave Ray the Death Drop. Ray hit Sting with the chain for two and the Angle Slam set up the Scorpion Deathlock for the tap out from Ray at about 7:00. The match was nothing special but I had never seen Sting or Angle wrestle live (Becca is a lifelong WWE fan and had never seen a Sting match period, which blew my mind).

 

After the main event JB talked about Angle being inducted in the Hall of Fame and Kurt was cheered to the back. JB told us that for $30 (or for free to those that bought the VIP pass) your entire group could get a picture with Sting with no limit on the amount of people. For a large group of people that’s a great deal. The line took a bit to get through but it was an amazing feeling to walk through the ropes and get inside a ring. The fact that Sting is one of my favorite wrestlers ever made it even better.

 

The mat is a lot softer than I expected and actually has some give to it. I was surprised at how hard a turnbuckle felt too. I got my picture taken with Sting and was surprised at how tall he was. I’m 6’0 tall and I was looking up at him. As I was leaving I told Sting I had been watching for 25 years and he was the first thing I remembered (Black Scorpion). He said wow that’s awesome and said thanks for being a fan.

 

We were given a copy of our photo as we left and a card telling us how we can get digital copies of them in a few days. That’s really efficient for such a short amount of time.

 

 

As we were leaving a guy from TNA asked us if we had a good time and seemed very pleased that we enjoyed ourselves. He jokingly asked us to tell people about it on the dirt sheets and smiled when I said I ran a wrestling website.

 

Overall, this was VERY fun and probably the most entertaining wrestling show I’ve been to, which covers a lot of ground. The show felt like it was very personal and focused on making sure the fans have a good time. The $80 combined for all the autographs, meeting the wrestlers and tickets was more than worth it as we were back home in just over four hours.

 

We were at a WWE Smackdown show a few months ago and it’s a very different feeling. WWE feels like a big spectacle and was certainly fun and affordable (tickets were the same price and about the same distance from the ring) but the star power was nothing compared to this show. The biggest stars I saw at the WWE show were Orton, Sheamus and Del Rio. Tonight I saw Angle, Sting and Jeff Hardy which pretty much crushes the WWE roster.

 

The other main difference is how accessible things were tonight. At the WWE show it felt like there was a huge divide between the fans and the wrestlers. Tonight they made us feel welcome (not to say WWE didn’t) and like we were in a much more intimate setting. The vibe is completely different here too. With WWE it felt like you were getting an entertainment show whereas tonight was about kicking back and enjoying two and a half hours of wrestling. There were no Twitter polls, promos to hype up matches, or pointless filler matches. Tonight was entertaining, fast paced, and above all else: FUN.

 

If you ever have the chance to go to a TNA show, make sure you take the opportunity and spring for the VIP package. The show feels so less polished (in a good way) than a WWE show and doesn’t walk you through everything. The WWE show had a better quality to the matches (Barrett vs. Del Rio and Sheamus/Orton vs Shield) but tonight was so basic (one heel wins in six matches) and focused on the fans that it was a blast.

 

If Impact was like this every week, WWE would be in trouble. It made Becca want to watch Impact for the first time in years which is the right idea for these shows. The difference between the live events and Impact (read as no Hogan and WAY less stupid stuff) is remarkable and the show was definitely worth the time and money. Check them out if you get the chance and want a completely different wrestling experience from a WWE show.

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 5, 2000
Location: War Memorial Auditorium, Rochester, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re just after Judgment Day, meaning HHH has won the world title back from the Rock in an Iron Man match due to interference from the returning Undertaker. Other than that we’ve got Benoit and Jericho feuding over the IC Title, which is par for the course for the two of them. The company is on fire at this point and hitting on all cylinders so this should be an awesome show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of Undertaker earning a shot at HHH by winning a handicap match against X-Pac and Road Dogg. This was followed later in the night by Rock beating Edge and Christian to become #1 contender. The main event of the show was Kane pinning HHH to earn a world title shot. In other words, there are three #1 contenders.

In the arena tonight, Vince blames HHH and wants to know why Hardcore Champion Gerald Brisco isn’t carrying his bag.

Theme song.

Here are HHH and Stephanie to open things up. HHH tells the fans to shut up so he can talk about how hot the competition is for his world title. The fans chant for Rocky as HHH talks about how much it means to be world champion. It means that you have beaten the very best and right now, there are three people that are the #1 contender to the title. The fans chant some very rude things at Stephanie to make HHH even angrier. HHH cuts them off by talking about how competition turns him on.

On the other hand, big egos turn him off. Yeah he has a huge ego, but when you’re as good as HHH, it’s hard not to think so highly of yourself. However, his ego is nothing compared to the man with the huge grapefruits: Vince. The talk of his own fruits brings out Vince to take the mic from his son-in-law. Vince agrees that HHH is indeed good but his biggest accomplishment is marrying Stephanie. It was Vince that made HHH and it’s Vince that can break him.

HHH says that while Vince may be Dr. Frankenstein, the monster can take over any time. He beat up Vince at Armageddon back in December and he can do it again. HHH slaps Vince and there goes the suit jacket. The brawl is about to be on but here’s Shane to break it up. Shane blames the two of them for there being three #1 contenders. It was HHH that made the matches and it was Vince’s ego that makes him want to fight HHH. Shane thinks maybe he should run the company and gets punched down for that line of thinking. All three guys get slaps from Stephanie and here’s Rock to slowly rotate his head.

Rock talks about not seeing a family feud, a millionaire, or even the WWF Champion. Instead he sees three pieces of monkey crap being slapped around by a woman who only costs about $2. Aside from that though, Rock is one of the three #1 contenders and he wants that title shot tonight. If that doesn’t happening, then Rock will just come down there right now and beat HHH all over Rochester.

Rock heads to the ring but gets stopped by Kane’s fires. Kane says that he’s the #1 contender (mixed reaction) and he wants his title shot tonight. As Kane walks towards the ring, here’s his big brother to the Kid Rock theme. Taker doesn’t care about anyone else’s issues because he wants a title match tonight, even if it means fighting with all of the three #1 contenders at once. Vince thinks all three should get their shots tonight, but first of all there’s going to be a triple threat between the three #1 contenders. The winner gets their title shot later tonight. The segment was good but it didn’t need to be twenty five minutes long.

Rikishi/Too Cool vs. T&A/Val Venis

Too Cool are tag team champions here. That’s one of the great things about this time period: Too Cool got WAY over while feuding with the Radicals over the spring and the company saw potential in them. Instead of jobbing them out for months, they gave them the tag titles at the end of May as a reward, while also giving them extra credibility. Today you would see them jobbed out in stupid comedy matches or left off television entirely for getting over against the writers’ wishes. I mean, why would you want to have the wrestlers get over themselves, therefore doing the writers’ work for them?

Test and Scotty start things off with Mr. Hotty clotheslining Test down and bringing in Grandmaster for their double elbow. Albert (Tensai) comes in and tries to ram Grandmaster into the buckle but pulls his hat off instead. A middle rope dropkick puts Albert down and it’s off to Val vs. Rikishi, but the other big men triple team the Samoan down. Albert tries a sunset flip but Rikishi sits his 400lbs down on his chest. Everything breaks down and Scotty hits the Worm on Test, followed by the Hip Hop Drop (top rope legdrop) but there’s no referee. In the confusion, Val hits Grandmaster with a title belt for the pin.

Rating: D. This didn’t do anything for me although I forgot how stunning Trish was at this point. I’m also not clear on the reason behind having Too Cool win the titles last week and then lose in a six man here. The match wasn’t much but it would set up two different feuds in the future so it’s not all bad.

Post match Rikishi cleans house and gives Trish a Stinkface.

The McMahons and company reconcile in the back. Brisco slams a door on Crash Holly as he tries to sneak up on him with a chair to win the Hardcore Title.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Road Dogg vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is Intercontinental Champion. X-Pac trips up Benoit to give Roadie a quick advantage but Benoit fires back with right hands and the back elbow to take Road Dogg down. Benoit loads up the swan dive but a Tori distraction lets X-Pac make the save. Not that it matters as the Dudleys run out to distract Dogg, allowing Benoit to hit a German suplex for the pin. This wasn’t even two minutes long.

Post match the Dudleys load up a 3D to put Tori through a table but X-Pac makes the save.

Brisco talks with Patterson about how they’re still friends despite feuding over the Hardcore Title. Crash sneaks in again and hits Patterson by mistake.

Kane says there are no allies or brothers in the triple threat

Here’s Crash to challenge Brisco to a fight RIGHT NOW.

Hardcore Title: Gerald Brisco vs. Crash

Gerald comes out to Real American in a funny running gag. Crash pounds away on the floor to start before bringing in all the usual weapons. A trashcan lid puts Brisco down but here’s Patterson with his soiled underwear, which wind up around Brisco’s face. Brisco gets up a boot in the corner to put Crash down and both Stooges dive on top to retain Gerald’s title.

Undertaker says Kane is right about there being no friends or brothers in the match tonight.

Kane vs. Undertaker vs. The Rock

HHH comes out to do commentary as the winner of this gets a title match later tonight. Rock and Undertaker slug it out to start but Kane helps his brother to pound Rock down in the corner. Rock hits Kane low to take him down and hits a Rock Bottom out of nowhere on Undertaker. Kane pops right back up with a chokeslam for two on Rock but it’s time for the brothers to fight.

Undertaker knocks Kane to the floor but Rock is back up with right hands to the dead man. All three head outside now with Rock being double teamed until HHH jumps Undertaker. HHH sends Kane into the steps as well but Undertaker is back up and goes after Rock again before dropping HHH with a right hand. HHH blasts Kane with a chair which knocks him into a quick Rock Bottom on Kane sends Rock to the title match.

Rating: D+. It was short and energetic but not much more. I get the idea they were going for here but you need more than four minutes for these three guys fighting. HHH going after Undertaker and Kane is fine, but why not go after Rock as well? The match was fine all things considered but with less than four minutes it didn’t have time to develop at all.

Post match HHH immediately hits Rock in the head with a chair.

Godfather/Dean Malenko vs. Chyna/Eddie Guerrero

This is before Dean was a ladies man so it’s just an oddball team. Eddie interrupts the Godfather’s lines to tick off the fans. This is the followup to Eddie costing Godfather a match against Chyna on Heat. Godfather and Eddie start things off with Eddie being tossed into the corner but Chyna blocks the Ho Train.

Dean comes in and counters a rollup into a wheelbarrow suplex for two. A rana puts Malenko down and it’s off to Chyna whose DDT is easily countered by Dean. The handspring elbow connects with Malenko in the corner before it’s back to Eddie. Dean hiptosses him into the Godfather’s Ho’s, ticking off Chyna in the process. Back in and Eddie counters a tilt-a-whirl slam into a small package to pin Dean.

Rating: D+. Again this didn’t have any time to go anywhere but notice again that they’re putting a bunch of different acts out there to keep things from getting stale. Yeah we get some repetitive stuff in the back, but it’s a bunch of quick shots instead of long drawn out segments to dull the fans’ minds. In short: keep things moving rather than constantly putting the same stuff out there over and over again.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Hardcore Holly vs. Faarooq

It’s a brawl to start of course with Faarooq pounding Holly down and getting two off a shoulder block. Holly is sent to the floor but referee Teddy Long holds Faarooq back. A clothesline gets two more for Faarooq back inside but he doesn’t seem too hurried to pin Holly. They head back outside with Holly being whipped into the barricade, followed by more standing around. Back in and Holly escapes the Dominator and hits a Falcon’s Arrow for the pin. Nothing again here.

Kurt Angle gives Edge and Christian a pep talk, saying that if they win their six man tonight, they’ll have defended Stephanie’s honor, which might earn the Canadians another tag title match.

Kurt Angle/Edge/Christian vs. Dudley Boys/Chris Jericho

Edge and Christian give the hometown of Kodak film a very special five second pose. Jericho starts with Edge as the fans are WAY into Jericho here. A dropkick puts both Edge and Angle down before it’s off to Kurt. The heels take turns pounding away on Jericho with Christian getting two off his reverse DDT.

The fans want tables but get a double headbutt from Edge and Christian for two instead. A catapult sends Jericho into the corner and it’s off to Angle to pound away. The fans still want tables and get a step closer to their goal with a hot tag to Bubba. Ray cleans house as everything breaks down. After Edge breaks up the 3D to Christian, Angle comes in with the Olympic Slam for the pin on Bubba.

Rating: C-. Basic six man tag match here with the crowd on fire throughout because of the tables. It’s amazing how something that simple can work the fans into such a frenzy, but unfortunately those chants would continue long after the Dudleys were gone. Jericho and Angle would have their usual awesome matches soon enough.

Post match Jericho puts Angle in the Walls and the Dudleys 3D Kurt through a table.

Hardy Boys vs. Bull Buchanan/Big Bossman

Bull starts with Matt and a big boot puts Matt down. Off to Boss Man as Lita is watching in the back, having not yet hooked up with the brothers yet. Back to Bull for a backbreaker but he misses a leg drop. Off to Jeff who speeds things up as everything breaks down. Jeff hits a quick Swanton on Bull for the win. This was nothing.

Boss Man and Buchanan fight post match with Boss Man laying Bull out.

HHH wants to head to the ring alone tonight.

Post break HHH says the Faction (that’s their actual name) is staying in the back tonight. Apparently Earl Hebner, who has had a lot of problems with HHH, is referee tonight. Cole also asks Stephanie why she never defends the Women’s Title. She says it’s because she has no contenders so here are Ivory and Jackie to say they’ll fight. Stephanie makes a #1 contenders battle royal for Smackdown.

WWF World Title: HHH vs. The Rock

HHH is already lying as Stephanie comes to the ring with him. Rock jumps HHH during his water spit and the fight is on fast. Rock pounds away and knocks HHH out to the floor before whipping him into whatever hard objects he can find. They load up the announce table but HHH fights out of the Rock Bottom. Instead Rock whips him over the announce table and hits the champion low.

A clothesline misses HHH and he comes back with a neckbreaker to put Rock down. Rock is sent shoulder first into the post before we head back inside for some stomping in the corner. Hebner gets in HHH’s face to give Rock a breather but HHH comes back with the jumping knee to the face for two. A knee drop to the head gets two more but HHH makes the mistake of going up top, allowing Rock to slam him down. Rock hits a neckbreaker and a Samoan drop for two but HHH comes back with a facebuster.

Cue the McMahon-Helmsley Faction to run interference as Rock makes his comeback. Rock knocks all of them off the apron before hitting the spinebuster and People’s Elbow, only to have X-Pac break up the count. The match keeps going though but the referee goes down. A DDT puts HHH down as the Faction comes in to destroy Rock. Cue Undertaker and Kane to clean house, including Undertaker chokeslamming Rock down. HHH crawls on top for the pin to retain the title and tick off the crowd.

Rating: C+. You can’t go wrong with Rock vs. HHH in the year 2000. The match was overbooked at the end but the rest of the match worked well enough given the constraints they were under. The fans were losing their minds for Rock here and those reactions would never quiet down. Good match here but they would have more masterpieces down the line.

Overall Rating: C. The show wasn’t all that great, but there was a notable energy going throughout the night which brought the show up a lot. That’s one of the things you never get today as everything is so tightly bound to the rigid television structure. This show felt like anything could happen at any time and it made things much more exciting. Good stuff here but there were far better shows around this time.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 

Why on earth TNA would use one of their four PPVs a year as a filler show is beyond me, but that’s exactly what we’re getting here.  Let’s get to it.The main story here is of course Sting vs. Bully Ray as part of the now year long feud between TNA and Aces and 8’s.  The fact that this story lost its legs months ago means nothing to TNA, so the bonus feature is is that it’s Ray’s title against Sting being able to challenge for the title ever again if he loses, as well as the match being no holds barred.  That alone should tell you everything you need to know about the ending.  That being said, this is TNA, meaning they might put the title on Sting as a swerve.  I’m going to say it’s Ray retaining, possibly with Brooke screwing Sting over “for love”, as all signs seem to point to Hulk vs. Ray at BFG.

One of the other big matches on the show is the fourway for the tag titles with Chavo/Hernandez defending against Bad Influence, Bobby Roode/Austin Aries and the new team of Gunner/James Storm.  Adding Storm and Gunner brings some fresh blood into the mix, but the story still isn’t all that interesting.  Either way, they NEED to get the titles off Chavo and Hernandez, as they’re just not interesting at all.  Aside from Storm and Gunner, these same six guys have been feuding for what feels like ever and the story is very old already.  Let these guys fight different people over something a bit more important for a change.  As for the winners, I’ll go with Storm and Gunner, which is a shame as Storm could do so much more (once he’s healthy that is).

In Styles vs. AJ, I think it goes to Styles.  Angle doesn’t need the win and what good is AJ if he loses his first big match back from his pouting?  The Storm match he won was somewhat big but facing Angle on PPV is a bigger deal.  Anyway, I’ll go with Styles for the win here in what should be the match of the night.

Jeff Hardy is back in the six man tag with Joe/Magnus vs. Bischoff/Brisco/Anderson (Anderson is replacing Doc to give Aces and 8’s something resembling a chance).  There’s no reason at all for Aces and 8’s to win here and I can’t imagine they will, as Hardy needs to start getting revenge on Aces and 8’s and there’s no better place to start than here in a meaningless six man.  TNA wins, as they should.

I’ll take Park to win the TV Title, although it’s not like it really matters as he won’t defend the stupid thing.  I don’t get why TNA does this with so many TV Champions.  Joe defended it quite often and it made the belt seem valuable for a little while.  Anyway, Park wins, which will at least remind people that the belt exists.

Then there’s the X-Division Title match in an Ultimate X match with Kenny King defending against Chris Sabin and Suicide.  This is where the X-Division rules get on my nerves.  Sabin and King have a feud going, but we have to add Suicide to it to fulfill some requirement.  Suicide adds nothing to the match at all and is there just to fill in a spot.  I mean, was anyone begging for Suicide to come back?  The match would be fine as Sabin vs. King with Sabin being able to show that he isn’t frail and can still hang with anyone in the world.  Sabin should win the title and I think he will, although watch out for a surprise Suicide win.

Last Knockout standing between Gail Kim and Taryn Terrell: it makes sense for Taryn to win and set up the showdown with Mickie at BFG for the title so we’ll go with stupidity and logic by saying Taryn wins, but it’s really hard to care about this match for me.  I will however give them this: they’re doing a better job with building stories in the Knockouts division as it’s clear how we got here and it doesn’t feel like something we’ve seen a dozen times before.

Finally we have Sam Shaw vs. Jay Bradley in the BFG Gut Check Tournament final.  I’ll go with Bradley as he’s a better prospect and leave it at that, as this is just a match to determine who gets to be the jobber in the tournament while geting a single fluke win.

 

Overall Slammiversary should be ok as a show, but the buildup to it has done nothing for me.  The show feels like a filler PPV, which makes no sense for TNA given that they only have four shows a year.  Sting vs. Ray with Sting’s future title chances on the line again make it about Sting and not the title/champion, which is the way of life in TNA.  The whole Aces and 8’s story has taken so long to go anywhere (it began the show after last year’s Slammiversary) that it’s really hard to care at this point.  At the end of the day, it’s Sting/Hogan vs. the Dudley Boys and Anderson.  Other than that, there isn’t anyone in Aces and 8’s worth a thing and they’re fighting two of the biggest names ever.  TNA is rather dull right now because it takes forever to get anywhere with this lack of PPV, and now they use one on a Sting story.

 

Also I’ll take Jarrett or Angle for the Hall of Fame.

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 9, 2013
Location: BancorpSouth Arena, Tupelo, Mississippi
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz, Todd Keneley

It’s another live show this week as we’re less than a month away from Slammiversary. The main event tonight is yet another tag match with Sting captaining a TNA team along with Kurt Angle and a mystery partner, which may be AJ Styles to face Aces and 8’s. In other words, almost everything is the same as it always is, which is TNA’s major problem at the moment. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week with Sting beating Matt Morgan for the title match last week and D’Lo Brown potentially being kicked off the team.

Here are Angle and Sting to open things up. Sting talks about wanting to take the heart out of Aces and 8’s by taking the title from Ray in Boston. He doesn’t want to wait another month though so tonight he’s going to war with the machine. Angle talks about making Brown scream I QUIT last week, but tonight it’s AJ Styles that can turn the tide in the war. Kurt calls out AJ and yells at him to make a decision right now.

Sting says hang on a second and talks about his time of hanging in the rafters and being the loner for awhile. He calls this place the house that AJ built and sticks out his hand to Styles. Angle takes the mic away from Sting and yells at AJ that he’s either with them or against them, so Styles walks away. Angle goes after Styles and AJ takes off the jacket. They slug it out on the ramp and the bikers sneak in and lay out Sting with a 3D.

Post break AJ has nothing to say.

Tara/Gail Kim vs. Mickie James/Velvet Sky

Mickie pounds on Gail to start as we have a very good view of Velvet from the apron. Gail interferes though and lets Tara take over, allowing Tara to put Mickie in the Tree of Woe. A baseball slide hits Mickie in the face and it’s off to Gail for a splash in the corner. Mickie comes back with a kick to the face in the corner and it’s off to Velvet. She quickly loads up In Yo Face on Tara but has to send Gail to the floor. No that it matters as In Yo Face hits Tara for the pin at 3:32.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here other than the nice upskirt shots of Velvet. I’m guessing they’re moving towards Mickie taking the title and then doing the legend vs. rookie wonder in Taryn at BFG, which doesn’t do much for me, but then again very rarely does anything the Knockouts do get me interested.

Post match Gail lays out Tara and puts her in the Figure Four around the post.

Bully isn’t pleased with D’Lo and the bikers leave him standing there as they go to the ring.

Bad Influence offers Storm some beer to hopefully sway him to their side. They leave and Storm starts drinking.

Here are Aces and 8’s to hype up the main event tonight. They know the mystery partner isn’t AJ Styles because AJ has seen the light of day. However, there’s club business with D’Lo Brown. A couple of weeks ago (it was last week), Brown disappointed the team so turn in his colors right now. Brown says no so Ray gives him one more chance. Brisco and Bischoff take the vest off of him and Ray yells at him for quitting. Brown offers to beat up Magnus tonight to get the vest back. Ray says no because Doc gets to beat up Magnus instead. Apparently Brown’s spot rests on Doc winning.

Magnus vs. Doc

This is joined in progress after a break with Doc in control and knocking a jumping Magnus out of the air. After a quick chinlock, Doc kicks him in the face but Magnus starts his comeback with a big boot of his own. Some clotheslines puts Doc down and after shoving him off the top, a top rope elbow gets two for Magnus. Brown interferes but is thrown into the steps for his efforts. Back in and Doc hits a fireman’s carry into a pancake for two. Brown tries to trip Magnus but grabs the wrong foot, allowing Magnus to get a quick rollup on Doc for the pin at 4:12 shown.

Rating: D+. The ending was kind of obvious, but if this cuts some of the lame fat from the bikers I’m all for it. So many of their lower level guys are just worthless and Brown might be the most worthless of them all. This doesn’t exactly make the bikers look strong though, but that’s WAY past helping at this point.

Post break Ray wants to CRUSH BROWN’S SKULL WITH A HAMMER. Instead of murdering him, Ray calms down and makes him a prospect instead.

Hogan wants to team up with Angle and Sting but his doctors told him no. Hogan got a phone call today and if the guy is who he says he is, but apparently they would save the six man. Sting isn’t sure and suggests Magnus.

Aries and Roode also offer Storm beer.

Bad Influence vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries

James Storm is guest referee and the winners get a tag title shot. Aries starts with Kaz and they spin around a lot with Aries taking over and relaxing on the top rope. Both guys try to rake the others eyes and both try the clap tag to trick Storm, but James looks at both and shrugs. Regular tags bring in Roode and Daniels and they shake hands before both kick the other in the ribs at the same time.

Roode takes Daniels down in the corner with a neckbreaker and it’s off to Aries for a middle rope elbow into the back of a seated Daniels. It only gets one since Storm is distracted so it’s time for some HARD chops in the corner from Aries. Daniels is sent to the floor for an ax handle from Aries. Off to Roode and Bad Influence finally double teams to take over. An elbow drop to Roode’s back gets two and Roode is in trouble. Tazz suggests putting a bowl of beer down on the mat to make Storm get down faster.

Roode throws Kaz into Daniels and finally makes the hot tag off to Aries. It’s elbow strikes all around but Daniels escapes the brainbuster. Aries throws him onto Kaz on the floor though and takes both guys out with a suicide dive. Back in and Austin goes up for a frog splash (complete with Eddie dance) for two. Bad Influence hits a powerbomb/neckbreaker combo on Aries for two before Kaz has Fade to Black countered by Roode.

A spinebuster puts Kaz down but an STO puts Roode down as well. Aries suplexes Daniels down but Austin charges into a boot in the corner. Angel’s Wings are countered but the brainbuster is countered as well. Daniels rolls up Aries but Storm won’t count because Daniels is pulling the tights. Aries loads up a swig of beer and sprays it in Daniels’ face. Storm drinks the rest of the beer but gets shoved by Aries.

Storm loads up the Last Call but hits Daniels by mistake. He won’t count the three though because that’s not right. Instead it’s a Last Call on Aries and both guys are out. Storm walks away and the match seemingly just ends at 11:20. My guess is this sets up a triple threat tag because we haven’t had one of those in awhile.

Rating: C+. Good match here with a stupid ending to set up yet another triple threat. I mean, we haven’t had one in like two weeks, so clearly it’s time for another one right? The tag division continues to be nothing of note from a storyline perspective but the matches are at least entertaining.

Aces and 8’s destroy Magnus in the back. What is that, the third time that’s happened?

Suicide is back soon.

Video on Chris Sabin returning last week.

Here’s Kenny King to remind us he’s still around. King brags about being awesome and how impressive it is that he has to beat two people every single week. More like every month but whatever. He calls out Chris Sabin as someone who has overcome the odds so here’s Chris to a big ovation. Chris talks about being in physical therapy for the last year but how it’s been worth it. King hands him the belt and says that’s as close as “Frail” Sabin will ever get to being champion. Chris pops him in the face and King leaves.

Storm is out cold in the back with the four guys from the tag title match standing over him.

The Bound For Glory Series is back and this year a Gut Check winner will be in the Series. There’s a four man tournament next week with the winner getting into the Series for a shot at the world title at BFG.

Ray tells Aces and 8’s that they’re weeding out the weak ones. Knux is tasked with making sure D’Lo keeps the beer cold and the bikes washed.

Angle leaves without a partner. Hogan gets another call and the mystery partner might be here.

Kurt Angle/Sting/??? vs. Aces and 8’s

It’s Ray/D-Von/Anderson here. Angle and Sting are on their own to start. Kurt and D-Von get things going here with the fans completely behind Angle. A quick belly to belly puts D-Von down but it’s off to the world champion for some hard elbows to the back of Kurt’s neck. Kurt grabs ray’s arm but it’s quickly off to Sting, sending Ray running into the corner. Anderson gets the tag but he walks into a dropkick and atomic drop before it’s back to Angle.

Kurt beats on Anderson a bit before it’s back to D-Von who takes Kurt down for a quick two count. Angle slugs him in the face but the numbers came catches up with him again. The Dudleys hit a reverse 3D on Angle before knocking Sting off the apron. Something is apparently going on in the back and it’s the rest of Aces and 8’s all laid out. We take a break and come back with Ray hitting a good dropkick (Tazz: “LIKE MIL MASCARAS!”) for two on Kurt.

D-Von comes back in to crank on Angle’s neck for a bit before slamming him down and dropping a leg for no cover. WE get the Hogan imitations of course and it’s back to Ray for more pounding on Kurt. Angle snaps off an Angle Slam on Ray out of nowhere and it’s hot tag to Sting. The Splash and Death Drop get two on D-Von as Anderson makes the save. There’s another splash on D-Von but now Ray makes the save.

Sting basically Hulks Up and gets in Ray’s face and they slug it out. There’s the Scorpion on Ray but Anderson makes the save. Sting is taken to the floor as the Dudleys load up a table, but here’s ABYSS to return and clean house. He chokeslams Anderson through the table (not a DQ) and hits the Black Hole Slam on D-Von for the pin at 18:27.

Rating: C+. Good main event here with a nice surprise too. This doesn’t exactly change much because if I had to make a bet, I’d be on the side that says Abyss is hot for a few weeks and then goes back to doing nothing of note for months like everyone else on the roster. Still though, a good surprise here and it had to happen sooner or later.

Overall Rating: C+. FAR more entertaining show tonight with a lot less annoying stuff to sit through. The main event was fine and the surprise wasn’t bad, but at the end of the day it still leads to a pretty lame PPV main event in a few weeks. Ray vs. Sting does nothing for anyone but it’s Sting so we have to give him at least one PPV title shot a year just because we have to. There was some good stuff here tonight and the show was light years easier to sit through than last week, which is a very good sign.

Results

Mickie James/Velvet Sky b. Tara/Gail Kim – In Yo Face to Tara

Magnus b. Doc – Rollup

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode vs. Bad Influence went to a no contest

Kurt Angle/Sting/Abyss b. Aces and 8’s – Black Hole Slam to D-Von

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 

Lockdown 2009
Date: April 19, 2009
Location: Liacouras Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 4,500
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

I’m doing this one for two reasons. First of all I want to get some more TNA shows done. Second, I read Foley’s book recently and I wanted to see how this match holds up by his comparisons. I watched this when it first aired and thought it was decent but was legitimately surprised with the ending. I remember nothing else about the show so this is kind of a fresh look for me. Let’s get to it.

I’m skipping the preshow as I have no desire to watch Danny Bonaduce in a match. And yes that happens.

The opening video only talks about Sting vs. Foley and the rest of the matches. I’m not a fan of this concept as it defeats the purpose of cage matches. It’s the Smashing Pumpkins speaking the words to Bullet With Butterfly Wings with some modified lyrics. We see Sting getting hit by a chair by Mick. The feud was about Foley not being done but Sting saying he was done. That comes off better than how Foley described it in words.

X-Division Title: Suicide vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Kiyoshi

This is an Xscape match where it’s first person out wins. Suicide is champion here. He appears in the ring which is rather cool. He kicks Bashir and it’s off. Ok with five people in there I can certainly live with this. Dang it this isn’t just the get out of the cage thing. You have to get three people out by pin or submission and THEN it’s first out wins. Sweet GOODNESS dude can you please keep ONE set of rules for ONE match?

Lethal Consequences beat up Bashir a bit as not much is going on here. Bashir is the favorite here for no apparent reason. They beat up everyone in sight and pin Kiyoshi after the big elbow from Lethal. This is really just a bunch of spots in a row. These are hard to get into as there is no real point to paying attention with the three pins needing to happen before anyone can escape.

Sheik pins Creed after a DDT which is called the WMDDT. I give up. DangI do that a lot don’t I? Big clothesline by Suicide to Lethal gets two. Suicide hits his finisher on Lethal so Bashir steals the pin which accomplishes nothing for him from an individual perspective but we’re down to the final two so the show is that much closer to being over so I’m not complaining.

Bashir is almost out until Suicide grabs his head to pull him back through the door. Cool visual if nothing else. They’re both sitting on the top of the cage and hammering away. Bashir almost falls twice and finally does on the third try. Kiyoshi won’t let Suicide go down so he’s like screw it and jumps onto the security guards to take them all out and keep the title.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here but it could have been worse. I wish they would just stick with one set of rules or find a better name for the freaking thing. Suicide winning here is nice but I’d like to see a new champion here for a change. This wasn’t a great match but it was good enough for an opener for a show like this where everything is a gimmick match.

Sweet goodness Lauren is gorgeous. She’s with Daniels and AJ who are on the same page and aren’t worried about Jarrett.

Madison Rayne vs. Sojourner Bolt vs. ODB vs. Daffney

This is Queen of the Cage which I think is just a fatal fourway for the name Queen of the Cage. Rayne is fairly new here. Apparently the winner gets a title shot. Deaner is with ODB. Daffney was the Governor recently as TNA decided to have a Sarah Palin character. ODB gets some Liquid Courage to make things all good. There’s an album pitch in there somewhere.

I’m pretty sure this is just the first fall wins it. Yeah that’s what it is according to West. Everyone beats down ODB and then the other three have a little thing. Deaner slips the flask through the cage to her which fires her way up. Daffney hits a Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza on Bolt. More drinking from ODB which is spat into Bolt’s face and a powerslam ends it.

Rating: D. Yeah I hated this. It was like six minutes long and was based around the joke of her more or less being an alcoholic. This was a waste of time and the ending was about as clear as a glass of water. Deaner and the whole white trash angle made Noble and Nidia look good. Not a fan of these matches at all.

We run down the rest of the card again.

Jarrett is here. All the members of his team but Joe is here.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Titles: Motor City Machine Guns vs. No Limit vs. LAX

Yes there are two Japanese tag titles on the line tonight, making a total of THREE tag title matches on one show. Oh it’s ok though as they’re globally recognized. You know, as opposed to when someone is the WORLD champion and are champions of the whole WORLD. Yeah the WORLD tag team champions aren’t globally recognized but these are. Sweet goodness I’m not a fan of this alleged cross promotional nonsense. This is a tornado match.

No Limit is a Japanese team that means nothing at all. We have five cruiserweights and Hernandez in here. Take a guess as to what kind of a match this is. One fall to a finish here. They try to explain how Hernandez can be in a Junior Heavyweight Title match and it doesn’t make sense as they say it’s like the X Division where there isn’t a weight limit, which of course is ridiculous due to the FREAKING NAME OF THE TITLE.

LAX dominates as amazingly enough, the one guy not like the others dominates the whole time. This is plodding along with two guys doing stuff while four lay down then repeat. The Guns remember that they’re the Guns and hammer away on SuperMex. Everyone beats up Shelley as Hernandez does even more stuff.

LAX in control now as they have been for a good while now. Yujiro of No Limit kicks out of a bunch of double team stuff. Sabin takes a very original move as Hernandez grabs him by the throat and throws him over his head like a belly to belly suplex but by his throat. Sweet goodness that was pretty awesome. The crowd isn’t exactly interested here either if you were wondering.

Naito misses a big spinning moonsault as the Guns climb the cage at the same time. And of course they dive off instead of just leaving which they could have done. Hernandez dominates again for awhile but No Limit takes him down again. Crowd is DEAD. Gringo Cutter to Yujiro off the top but the Guns wake up a bit and hit a Sliced Bread/powerbomb combination to Yujiro to more or less kill him and retain.

Rating: D+. This is another example of a time where TNA thought they were having something special and then at the end of the day no one but them cared. Who cares if there were Japanese tag titles on the line here? Why should I care about belts I’ve never seen before and likely won’t see afterwards? The crowd was bored as until the end nothing special happened here. Weak match but the Guns are always fun to see.

Abyss talks to Lauren who is apparently his girlfriend. She was concerned with him but I don’t think anything was ever made official. He’s trying to not use weapons at the moment and is somewhat neurotic at this point. He has Matt Morgan in a Doomsday Chamber of Blood which I think is a weapons first blood match.

We kind of preview the match which is simply that Abyss likes the cage and feels at home there. Morgan is a foreigner there. Oh and there’s barbed wire involved too. The Doomsday Chamber of Blood match is about one thing: carnage. Wouldn’t it be about, like, blood?

Doomsday Chamber of Blood: Matt Morgan vs. Abyss

I’d assume it’s a first blood match. Oh ok you win by pin or submission but they have to be bleeding first. Mike makes sure to inform us that this is NOT a first blood match though, even it’s about bleeding first. Morgan had turned heel again and turned on Abyss. Is anyone really surprised by that? Morgan has a chair to start but it gets knocked back into his face.

Lots of punches to start. This is during the Dr. Stevie period for Abyss and him being all insane and whatnot like that. Basic big man match to start as the fans say they want blood. I’ve always wanted someone to come out with a needle or something and get a tiny poke with it to make the guy bleed and take credit for a win like that. Abyss can’t bring himself to use a chair and he’s in trouble because of it.

Morgan throws weapons out of the ring to protect himself, drawing great heat. I see no barbed wire at all mind you. The chair to Abyss’ head busted him open so Morgan threw them out as he had the stuff he needed already. That makes sense actually. Morgan gets a decent dropkick. Fans are rather bored here but not entirely. This gimmick match overload is starting to wear on them though.

He busts out the bag of glass, making the whole idea of him throwing the chair out TOTALLY POINTLESS. The fans want Stevie. Morgan can’t manage to shove glass into the head of the monster. Abyss comes back and rams him into the cage a bunch and gets a chokeslam but he can’t pin him due to the lack of laceration. Morgan misses a cross body and down goes the referee.

Abyss gets some glass and jams it into Morgan’s head which would likely kill him but who cares about that? He covers Morgan and here’s a second referee for the two count. Abyss goes to the floor and gets the chair. There has been NO barbed wire which was advertised. Dr. Stevie is revealed to be Stevie Richards to the shock of NO ONE and his distractions lets a Carbon Footprint gets two.

The fans chant ECW as you can feel Vince’s lawyers smile from here. Yes they actually made not only a PPV but a major angle out of this. After Stevie steals the chair, Abyss goes under the ring and gets a bag full of tacks. THEN WHY DID HE GO FOR THE CHAIR IF HE KNEW THOSE WERE THERE???

Stevie STORMS, yes STORMS I say, the ring and beats up Abyss which gets him nowhere. Good night could they not overbook a single match? And then Morgan jumps him and gives him a chokebomb into the tacks for the easy pin. Well I’m glad to see they got the important plot point of STEVIE RICHARDS in this.

Rating: D+. I saw no barbed wire in there which was promised. The rest of this was nothing special in the slightest. Again they overdid it for the sake of the live crowd and having no one care about the actual match due to them just wanting Steven. This wasn’t anything great at all and was just another Abyss weapons match which we’ve seen a thousand times.

Jarrett says AJ and Daniels should look at themselves in the mirror and not worry about them. He’s going to worry about himself more and that includes doing the right thing. Joe, massive knife in hand, comes in to say no tricks.

And now we recap the Knockouts Title match which is Love vs. Kong vs. Wilde with Kong holding the title. No reason for the match other than having the title be on the line. Love is the joke here so I’d bet a high amount of money on her winning this.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Awesome Kong vs. Taylor Wilde

I forgot how hot the BP were as the total stuck up witches. West doesn’t even bother hiding that he only cares about their looks. They cut Kong’s braids so she’s a good deal ticked off. Taylor is still hot. I’ve always liked how she high fives people on the way to the ring. Little things like that make big differences as you look like you CARE about the fans. It’s not much but it’s something at least.

Kong goes straight for Love and beats the tar out of her, as does Taylor. Yeah they’re not even trying to hide that she gets the title tonight. She gets out of a powerbomb and avoids the butt drop from Kong. The two blondes go at it with Love winning. She’s underrated in the ring. The total smark crowd wants Gail Kim. Velvet’s never ending smirk is sexy beyond belief.

Giant swing as we go WAY old school. Love dizzy is kind of funny as well. Kong stands on her hair and pulls her up which must hurt. She has dominated the vast majority of this match, which to be fair has only been about four minutes so far. Kong goes up and misses a front flip splash to a huge pop. Love kills Wilde with a kick and then she and Velvet tie Kong to the cage BY HER HAIR.

Instead of just ending it there with a quick move from Angelina like they should, they have a one on one match with Wilde and Love. Wilde goes over to laugh at Kong and gets kicked in the face so Love can pin her. Dang it is it impossible to make a champion look strong here at all???

Rating: C-. Not bad here actually as the ending was a legit surprise and well done. Not the new champion that is but the way they got rid of Kong. I wasn’t a fan of the in ring stuff as it was ALL Kong for the vast majority here and Wilde was just there so that the pin could work, but I’m really liking the ending which is what makes this match work for me. Well that and the girls were mostly gorgeous which is the main perk of the division.

Team 3D does some huge party deal with a bunch of fans. They’re Japanese tag champions too. They more or less say they love Philly and that Beer Money is going to die.

We get a package on the Dudleys and are told that they’re awesome. This is a unification match to an extent as both teams are champions and the winner gets both belts. I can’t stand this concept so they kept it up for the next six months or so. Oh and they’re in the jungle baby and they’re going to die. I give up.

TNA/IWGP Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Team 3D

The idea here is a Philadelphia street fight, as in you can come and go from the cage as you please, defeating the entire purpose of the cage at all. Bubba knocks the steps away from the cage door which does nothing at all for the most part. They’re in the cage to start and the door is shut despite them talking about it being the open cage thing the whole time.

And so much for that as they’re on the floor now. They might have been in the cage for about thirty seconds. The fans want tables as we head into the crowd. We go split screen as we’re in the crowd. They each get a quarter of the screen as half of it is a big Lockdown logo. Storm vs. Bubba and Roode vs. D-Von but they merge in a luxury box.

Falls count anywhere apparently. The required ECW chant starts up even though the crowd can’t see them for the most part here. West thinks the crowd is 98/2 for Team 3D. Thank you for that excellent analysis Mr. West. The fans still want tables. Just sit stuff on your laps guys. Back to the ring now as Storm uses the cage door as a weapon. Storm gets a table out which should be done by the face but why would that matter?

The heels climb onto the steps and give D-Von a double suplex through the table. Bubba is busted open and it’s 2-1 inside the cage. He gets a double clothesline to take down both guys that aren’t wearing shirts. Again I need more ways to tell you who does what without saying their names over and over. Roode takes a Bubba Bomb from the top rope.

The other 3D gets two on Roode. So he’s kicked out of two almost finishers while Storm has taken nothing. Why doesn’t Roode leave him at this point? The fans want more tables. Man alive how much stuff are they carrying? D-Von gets a top rope clothesline for two. What’s Up to Roode. Here comes the second batch of tables.

Beer Money comes back and hits what we would call the Mooregasm on D-Von for two. So apparently Ink Inc is better than Beer Money? Too many dead spots in here where they’re just setting other stuff up rather than actually doing anything. Storm accidentally slams the door onto the head of Roode, allowing 3D through the table to end it.

Rating: C. It wasn’t bad and was probably the best match of the night thus far but this still wasn’t great. The Dudleys win another tag title. Why is this supposed to mean something? It was an ok match but it really wasn’t anything all that great. Like I said there were too many dead spots and it was too long at 15 minutes. Not bad at all though.

Angle and the Mafia are very confident.

The recap is simple: Mafia vs. TNA originals/Frontline/generic face team name. There was something about Steiner vs. Jarrett too but I’m not sure.

Team Angle vs. Team Jarrett

It’s Lethal Lockdown, which is WarGames but after everyone is in there is a roof with weapons attached lowered and we only have one ring. You have two teams of four (thank GOODNESS!) people each. Each team sends in a man for five minutes and then there’s a coin toss. The winning team sends in a man for a 2-1 advantage for two minutes. After those two minutes are up the team that lost the toss sends in their second man to tie us up. Two minutes later the winning team goes up 3-2. You alternate every two minutes and then lower the roof after everyone is in.

Angle vs. Daniels to start us off here. Daniels has been back in TNA for a total of four days. Daniels actually gets him down to start and holds him there. Angle realizes he’s Angle and takes care of that. This is a slow paced start here with both guys working on the mat. That’s not bad though and it’s working for the most part as they’re solid there.

Team Angle has the advantage apparently which might have been determined already. TNA does that on occasion which makes sense at least. Daniels gets the Koji Clutch out of nowhere with about 5 seconds to go. I know I didn’t say much in there but it was just dull stuff. Granted that could be due to Daniels. Booker is in second and drills Daniels, who apparently was surprised. I guess the music, the clock and the BIG FREAKING WRESTLER didn’t get his attention.

Angle gets back up after about a minute and a half and it’s the big beatdown with about 45 seconds left until we tie it up again. For some reason Booker took forever to come into the match so they only got about 90 seconds in there. AJ ties us up. He took the Legends Title from Booker last month so there’s your reason for him being there. AJ just looks freaking awesome there, running in with his eyes looking awesome. I think I’m bordering on a man crush here.

AJ and Daniels destroy the Mafia with sweet double team stuff. They always had a chemistry together which again I have to put on AJ for bringing up Daniels. I am not a fan of his at all and I don’t get his appeal. His style is way too out there for me and it’s how ROH tends to work. Not a fan of it. Steiner is in third meaning Nash will be the final guy. Yeah I’m stunned too that he has the least to do.

Steiner Lines all around. Daniels takes a big old suplex but AJ takes what Steiner calls the Frankensteiner now even though that simply isn’t what it is anymore. Joe is third to add up the holy trinity of the X Division…and there’s no Joe. He’s getting advice from his mentor, who would turn out to be Taz. While he’s standing there though his partners are getting destroyed.

Ah here’s Joe, complete with the “tattoo” on his face. Steiner vs. Joe is a sad sight for some reason. Having only eight people in here is a VERY nice perk as the ten that most people have is way too many. When you had two rings in WCW that was ok as there was more than enough room.

Nash comes in last and Joe FREAKS on him, not even letting him into the ring. And so much for that as he drills Joe and gets in anyway. Ok everyone that is in the match so far is in there. Best Moonsault Ever to Nash but we can’t cover yet. Not that it matters as it’s not like Nash would let Daniels get a pin on him anyway. Here’s Jarrett to tie us up and get us to the final part of the match.

He cleans house in his powder blue tights as the roof with weapons on it is lowered. Basically now it turns into who can get out of the cage for the big spot first. Because TNA is stupid, we go to a SIX WAY SCREEN SPLIT. Since there is a total of one ring, they realize this is stupid and go to a regular shot. Angle has managed to find a hole in the roof and is on top. AJ follows him so we get a little breathing room in the ring.

AJ vs. Angle squaring off on top of the cage is kind of cool looking. Angle tries to suplex him off but it gets blocked due to it being like deadly. Angle gets back in the ring after a bit and hits the Slam on Jarrett. AJ is up on top of the cage and is just like screw it and dives through the top of the cage, breaking it and landing on the Mafia. When I say on the Mafia I mean they all back up so they don’t have to catch him and let him crash. Nice guys.

Joe goes off until Booker takes him down and spins up. I hate the name so I don’t feel like typing it. Jarrett swings a chair at Booker and hits AJ who is somehow still alive after that jump. Joe gets all ticked off at him but gets caught in the Slam because he’s not paying attention. Angel’s Wings gets two on Angle. Basically this is just everyone hits big moves until Jarrett gets the guitar and sets to hit AJ but drills Booker like he’s supposed to and AJ gets the pin.

Rating: B. Pretty solid stuff here with the four people per team DEFINITELY being a good idea. This wasn’t the best match they’ve ever had with this gimmick but this one worked pretty well. They got into that formula that isn’t very exciting here but the big dive from AJ was a very solid spot, although someone CATCHING HIM would have been nice. Solid stuff here though and DEFINITELY the best match of the night so far.

Post match Bobby Lashley comes out and points a lot. He wouldn’t be seen for months I don’t think. Ah apparently he would be on Impact and then not be seen until July.

Some music interrupts the beginning of Sting’s promo which apparently they couldn’t hear. Sting says you have to expect the unexpected. This is the whole point in watching this show for me so maybe it’ll be good. Sting says that if the belt winds up in the wrong hands then it’s the beginning of the end for TNA.

Foley is looking at his barbed wire ball bat and says that Mick isn’t here tonight but rather Cactus Jack is around. He makes the rule change where you can win by escape. There was supposed to be a special cage built but it didn’t happen.

We recap the feud which was about Foley missing a chair shot and hitting Sting by mistake. Then on Impact he hit him on purpose. This was a respect thing apparently as Sting was cashing the checks that Foley’s body wrote. That’s a solid line actually.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Mick Foley

This is just a standard match for the first time all night I believe. These are my two favorite wrestlers ever so this is an awesome sight to see. Also their 92 feud was awesome so I’m really looking forward to this. Foley being introduced with the bat is awesome for some reason. They stand off to start which makes sense as Foley had been talking about how this was his greatest rival. Granted they hadn’t associated with each other in seventeen years but whatever.

Foley punches himself in the head and cuts himself open, which he claimed was a new wound rather than the one he had done on Impact. Foley takes over to start and goes to leave almost immediately but the fight begins on top of the ropes. Basically Foley dominates to start as West actually analyzes things a bit here. They fight on the ropes again with Sting hitting a belly to back off the top for two.

Foley gets stuck in a Tree of Woe and Sting pounds away. Sting goes for the leg which is apparently hurt now due to the Tree of Woe. That’s a new one I think. Spinning neckbreaker by Foley gets two. He goes for the cage but just kind of stops because of the leg. The door is off limits again I think which might be a rule all night.

Mick gets the Scorpion of all things on Sting which lasts about as long as Foley’s third title reign by comparison. Foley calls for the door to be open and shoves Hebner out of the way. Since he can’t climb he has no issue with going through the door apparently. For no apparent reason he hits a baseball slide to the cameraman in the hole he uses.

Foley tries to climb through said hole but gets caught by Sting and locked in the Deathlock. He crawls to the hole in the cage and has the cameraman slip him the bat. This is getting better. Sting tries to go up but gets caught by a shot to the leg with the bat and another one to send him to the mat. And then he’s fine seconds later, beating up Foley with the bat instead.

The barbed wire on the bat breaks up and goes into Sting’s eyes. He wraps Socko in it and gives Sting a running knee in the corner. What was funny/bad here was that he also slammed his head into the cage and busted his head open legitimately. Both guys are busted now and the fans are way behind Foley which is weird to see for a Sting opponent.

Both go up the cage but on different sides. Foley DIVES to the floor and amazingly enough wins the title totally clean. He said in the book that there were like 4 seconds left in the show here which never made sense based on what I remembered and I was right as there was like forty seconds left.

Rating: B-. I’m probably being very biased here but I liked this. They had a slow build here and the ending, while surprising, makes sense. Foley is a hardcore wrestler and he beat Sting in a hardcore match. Also the idea was for Foley to come out and prove to Sting that he still had it so what better way than to take his title? This was good although it was slow at times which hurts it.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is LONG. That’s the only way to put it. The main events are both good and they keep this from being a failure. Having eight cage matches completely defeats the purpose of a cage match. Foley vs. Sting in a cage is a major match if booked right and the match was rather brutal. However it’s still the EIGHTH time we’ve seen a cage tonight, and with having a gimmick for every match, it wore very thin.

This show doesn’t work often and until the final 45 minutes of this show it was looking to be the worst ever in the series. This worked at the end though and the old guys put on the best match of the night more than likely. Check out Sting vs. Foley if you’re a fan of theirs as it’s fun stuff and Lethal Lockdown if you’re a WarGames fan, but other than that stay clear due to reasons of boring.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 

Judgment Day 2001
Date: May 20, 2011
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 13,623
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

 

This is more or less the last match on PPV for the Two Man Power Trip as the following night HHH would tear his quad in the tag match vs. Benoit/Jericho. Tonight though he’s defending the IC Title against Kane while the main event is Taker vs. Austin in a no holds barred match for the world title. Other than that we have the final match in Chyna’s WWF career and Angle vs. Benoit, 2/3 falls. Can’t go wrong there. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is of a bearded man in front of a church talking about this being the end of times and all that jazz. Nothing special at all here.

 

The theme of the set is of big hourglasses as time is running out and the end is near. How poetic.

 

William Regal vs. Rikishi

 

Regal is Commissioner here still. Prematch we hear Regal saying that Rikishi gave Stephanie a Stinkface and tonight he’ll avenge her. Rikishi is all ticked off here. I guess that whole attempted murderer thing is forgiven. Rikishi has a bad shoulder though so it’s hard to say how well he’ll be able to do here. The fat man hammers away and Regal is in trouble early. Stinkface is attempted but Regal gets a low blow in to take over.

 

Loud Regal Sucks chant starts up. Rikishi tries a seated senton on Regal but the English dude moves. This is what they picked for an opener? Really? Rikishi gets a leg drop for two and there’s the Stinkface. I hate stuff like that, I truly do. Regal dry heaves for a bit on the floor and the look on his face is priceless. Regal is busted open. Rikishi misses a charge into the corner and posts the bad shoulder. The Regal Cutter (that neckbreaker he does where he pulls the other guys’ arm around their own neck) ends this quickly.

 

Rating: D+. What was the point to this? Isn’t this something that belong on Smackdown or Raw? Stephanie is avenged I guess but at the same time did we need to have this on a PPV/ At least it was in the opening spot I guess, but dang dude, give us something better than this. Not a bad match but nothing I have any interest in at all.

 

Christian and Edge are talking. Tonight they have a tag team turmoil match with the winner getting a title shot. Jericho has a mystery partner and if you read the intro you know both what happens and who wins. Angle pops up and says if the 2/3 falls match he has with Benoit goes to a third fall it’s a ladder match. Edge says don’t fall off because it sucks. Christian adds that if you do, make sure you have your medals which I guess is what this is about. Yeah he’s not wearing them at the moment.

 

HHH and Stephanie get here and are greeted by Vince. Vince wants to know why HHH and Austin involved Taker’s wife Sarah. If I remember right someone told Taker that Sarah had been in a car wreck and Taker left to check on her. It turned out Austin faked the whole thing. I don’t think a reason was given other than to attack Kane. Vince wants to know why HHH and Austin would mess with the sanctity of marriage. Yes it’s meant to be funny.

 

We recap Angle vs. Benoit. This is the time where Benoit stole the medals and Angle started losing his mind. I love how Kurt is willing to put his property on the line in a wrestling match. Benoit put the medals in his ball sack of all things. Angle stole them back and kissed them, but then Benoit put him in the crossface and he had to drop them to tap. Tonight the first fall is pin only, second is submission only, third is ladder.

 

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

 

Kurt grabs the mic before he starts. He says that tonight the gold medals are coming home. The crowd says he sucks so he says shut up. Tonight the medals go from against Benoit’s genitals to around his neck where they belong. Angle makes fun of the Sacramento Kings, the NBA team in town. Making fun of sports teams heat is still heat.

 

Nice pop for Benoit. Benoit takes the medals out and Angle jumps him. It’s aggressive Kurt tonight as he hammers away with the Rolling Germans. Angle goes up but misses a splash/headbutt and Benoit hits an Angle Slam and it’s 1-0 maybe a minute in. Dang that came out of nowhere. Crossface goes on almost immediately but Kurt gets a rope. This one is submission only remember.

 

Angle goes into the steps a few times as it’s all Benoit. Now he goes into the post. This hasn’t been a good 2 minutes for him so far. Benoit misses a chop so Kurt picks him up and rams him balls first into the post to shift momentum and Benoit’s voice range drastically. The fans are all over Angle here. Back in the ring and Angle tries the ankle lock but Benoit grabs the rope.

 

Another attempt fails and Benoit can’t get it either. He does however get a quick crossface which gets him nowhere. After a quick nothing on the floor it’s back in and Angle rakes the eyes to take over again. They’re clearly just going through stuff here but it’s not bad at all. Angle hits a belly to belly as Benoit is in trouble. Benoit reverses a whip in and almost gets another crossface but a rope is grabbed.

 

Angle grabs the ankle but Benoit grabs the ankle. That’s the idea here obviously: both guys are trying to grab their signature holds but neither can keep it on for any significant time at all. Out of instinct Angle tries a rollup which of course doesn’t count. Angle grabs something close to a knee bar but Benoit is in the ropes again. The referee threatens a DQ which kind of negates the whole SUBMISSION ONLY thing.

 

Benoit grabs a quick Liontamer of all things which doesn’t work very long but it got a great reaction. Spinning toe hold goes into a figure four but not a very good one. They roll over a few times and Benoit won’t break in the ropes. Oh never mind yes he does. Benoit focuses on the knee now which is good. It’s stupid for Benoit to do a bunch of leg work and then to try the Crossface unless it’s right there. That’s psychology there people.

 

Dragon screw leg whip and an ankle lock by Benoit almost works. JR: “If these ropes were a woman Angle would be going steady.” Good line. We head to the floor and Benoit is in trouble. Never mind as they’re back in already. They’re moving very quickly here. DDT by Benoit but Angle pops up and hits the Angle Slam. Uh….ok. Ankle Lock goes on and Benoit taps immediately. You could argue there that Benoit tapped that fast because he wanted his ankle to be ok for the ladder match.

 

The medals are hooked up and raised again. The guys are back on the floor with Benoit going into the steps. Angle brings in a ladder which is read and only 6’0 tall. That’s not something you often see here. Benoit knocks him down and gets a regular ladder but Angle rips Benoit down. Angle charges with the ladder but Benoit ducks and the ladder and Angle go to the floor.

 

Benoit gets it and instead of going up he hammers on Angle a bit. Such a nice psychopath. Angle somehow gets up and stops Benoit with a lot blow to take over again. The ladder is in the corner and both guys are rammed into it/crushed by it. Benoit in control at the moment. The ladder gets wedged between the top and middle ropes like you often see done with chairs and Benoit goes chest first into it.

 

Angle gets a suplex to throw Benoit into the ladder and the Canadian is in trouble. Scratch that as Benoit is able to seesaw the ladder and drive it into Angle’s face. He puts the ladder on top of Angle and climbs. For some reason Benoit climbs down for most stomping. He goes up again and Angle is able to shove him off. Benoit grabs a Crossface out of nowhere but here are Edge and Christian. Their distraction is enough to let Angle go up and get his medals back to win the match.

 

Rating: A-. Very solid stuff here but dude, it’s Benoit vs. Angle. Were you expecting anything other than a classic? 2/3 falls from these guys is something that you really can’t get wrong. They did their stuff out there and it was of course awesome. There isn’t much else to say here. It’s a great match but that’s par for the course with these two.

 

Taker runs into Regal’s office and wants his match with Austin to be No Holds Barred. Regal is terrified and says he’ll do it.

 

Jerry Lynn, the Light Heavyweight Champion, is at WWF New York and isn’t happy with being there instead of on PPV. He gets on JR and JR denies knowing why Lynn was talking to him.

 

Hardcore Title: Test vs. Rhyno vs. Big Show

 

Rhyno has the title here. Test cost Big Show a match with Shane last month so there’s a history there. Test and Show go at it early before Rhyno gets here. Rhyno takes his time to get here which is kind of stupid. He tries to get some steps but can’t get them unhooked in a funny moment. Rhyno charges at Show on the floor but runs into a boot and we hit the crowd.

 

Show rams Test into a wall and is looking for Rhyno. Oh there he is. Test grabs something to choke Show out with and Show is going down quickly. Rhyno tries to launch a cart of anvil cases at Show and it might have hit him in the head. Rhyno vs. Test now with the taller one in control. And then the real taller one shows up and hammers both of them down.

 

Show tries to chokeslam Test onto some pallets but Rhyno saves. Rhyno and Test manage to knock Show down onto said pallets and is hurt bad. Test and Rhyno run away so they can have a one on one without Show there. That’s rather smart actually. Back into the arena now and even back to ringside. Test is rammed into a post and Rhyno grabs a weapon or two.

 

Back in the ring and Test punches the trashcan lid that Rhyno had back into his face. The fans chant for Show. Rhyno gets a DDT onto the trashcan lid for two. Show is back and Rhyno takes a HUGE chokeslam but Test kicks Show down for two. Gore to Show and Test adds a trashcan lid shot to Rhyno for two. Fire extinguisher comes into play and Show is down. Rhyno throws Test to the floor and throws a trashcan to Show. A “Gore” (read as a tackle) to Show pins him and Rhyno retains.

 

Rating: D+. What were you really expecting here? This is every other hardcore match you would see in this era and there’s not a single special aspect to it. Rhyno would be champion a little while longer until RVD showed up and he and Jeff Hardy traded the title a bunch. This was just there to fill in space more or less as the novelty was completely gone.

 

Regal can’t bring himself to speak to Austin about the no holds barred aspect.

 

Lita is stretching while the Hardys give her encouragement. Eddie comes in to offer her advice against Lita.

 

Regal manages to go in and tells Austin about the stipulation and Austin is ok with it.

 

We recap Chyna vs. Lita. In short Chyna won the title and no one could challenge her. Then there was Lita left. They were partners and Chyna more or less patronized her like she had no chance against Chyna in their match.

 

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Lita

 

Lita is insanely over here. And here’s Chyna looking like a peacock. That’s JR’s term, not mine. They hug before the match as I guess Lita is ok with Chyna being a witch to her and not seeming to take this seriously at all. This is power vs. speed here and both use their own better attribute to take over for a bit. Lita tries to help Chyna up and gets rolled up for two. Ok so she’s hot but not incredibly smart. Got it.

 

Chyna overpowers the match with ease to start but Lita gets a DDT for two. She finally wakes up and hammers away on Chyna. Middle rope clothesline gets two. Lita goes for the arm as this is getting sloppy. The fans are still in it though so they have that at least. Swinging neckbreaker by Chyna sets up a powerslam for two.

 

Lita channels her inner Alberto by hooking up a rolling cross armbreaker and Chyna is in real trouble all of a sudden. Chyna reverses into a headscissors and here’s Eddie for no apparent reason. She tries a powerbomb but Lita reverses into a horrible looking rana for two. And then a powerbomb by Chyna ends this clean. Nothing from Eddie other than standing there and Chyna more or less didn’t break a sweat.

 

Rating: D. This was supposed to be the big showdown? Chyna destroyed Lita here and made her look like a joke. This was Chyna’s last match in the company as she was taken off TV and the title was held up. She held the title until November anyway so there simply were no title matches for about six months. In short, Chyna destroyed the division and it took Trish and Lita to bring it back to whatever it was. Oh and this match was awful.

 

Angle is fired up about winning the medals and says that this is just beginning. Tomorrow he’s going to have an Olympic Medal ceremony. He thanks Edge and Christian and leaves. Edge says it was to get Kurt to shut up.

 

Vince gives HHH and Austin a pep talk.

 

We recap HHH vs. Kane. These feuds can be combined into one actually. The Hardys and Lita had been the ones to stand up to the Two Man Power Trip and in short, they got their teeth kicked in. Austin/HHH were about to destroy Lita when Taker and Kane popped up as the cavalry. They were tag champions at the time and the main event of Backlash was the obvious tag match with all the titles on the line (HHH was IC Champion at this time if that wasn’t clear). The Two Man Power Trip had injured Kane’s arm which was what caused the tag title change. The feuds then split into two single feuds, playing out tonight.

 

Intercontinental Title: Kane vs. HHH

 

This is the version where you’re joined at the wrist but you win by pin/submission thank goodness. Kane brings the chain and still has the bad left arm. HHH jumps Kane before they’re attached and the fight is on. Like an intelligent man, HHH goes after the BIG BANDAGE on the arm. To the floor with HHH ramming Kane’s arm into various steel objects.

 

Back in the ring and HHH attaches the chain at the wrists. This gives Kane a chance to get up though and he whips away at HHH. Wisely though HHH pulls on the chain which pulls at Kane’s bad arm to reshift the momentum. The Game goes up top and hits a double axe for two. Apparently you can only win by pinfall. Eh it’s not like they use submissions anyway I guess.

 

Out to the floor again for more dominance by HHH. He sends Kane back into the ring and grabs a chair but Kane pulls on the chain and it rams HHH’s head into the chair and busts him open BAD. Kane wakes up now and Katie Vick’s best friend is on offense. He chokes away with the chain and it’s back out to the floor again.

 

HHH gets hung over the top rope via the chain as it’s almost all Kane at this point. He goes up but HHH pulls the chain and the Big Fried Freak comes flying down. Back to the floor again with HHH being thrown into the crowd. After some brief offense by HHH, Kane slams him off the railing and back to ringside.

 

Back in the Pedigree is blocked and Kane gets a low blow. Big shot with the chain puts the Game down. Top rope chain shot by Kane sets up the chokeslam but here’s Austin. He’s out before I can finish that sentence though and HHH gets a low blow. Austin however grabs a chair to swing at Kane but hits HHH in the head (kind of. It was more like he swung too high and hit both guys at once). Kane dumps Austin and covers HHH for the pin and the title.

 

Rating: C-. Just ok here with these two guys having a severe lack of chemistry. It’s passable but at the same time there’s nothing special going on here at all. The chain thing was pretty pointless and didn’t really play into the ending at all for the most part. This could have been no holds barred but they were doing that in the main event so I can let that slide. Not much here though but it could have been worse.

 

We still don’t know who Jericho’s tag partner is and he hints that it’s Coach. He says his partner is a real party animal. Oh blast it he picked Percy Watson. Jericho says that if they don’t win, they’re at least taking Edge and Christian with them.

 

HHH rants about Austin and Vince says keep it together.

 

Tag Team Turmoil

 

It’s a tag team gauntlet match with the winners being #1 contenders. We open with APA vs. Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn. There are seven teams total in this. The Radicalz spring into the ring with Saturn suplexing Farrooq for no cover. Dean vs. Farrooq to start us off officially. Double clothesline puts both guys down. Another suplex to Bradshaw but Farrooq hits Saturn with a big old spinebuster and this doesn’t make it to two minutes.

 

Dudleys in next. To the shock of no one this is a brawl to start us off. Powerslam by Farrooq to D-Von gets two. Spike is here with the Dudleys. Off to Bubba now and the Dudleys control. Off to Bradshaw who beats up the Bully. Clothesline from JBL misses and Bubba lands a side slam for two and it’s back off to D-Von. Dang when did I become such a play by play man?

 

The fans want tables. Fallaway slam puts D-Von down as Bradshaw takes over again. Everything breaks down with Bubba and Farrooq hitting the floor. That doesn’t last long though as Bradshaw gets caught in a Doomsday Device and then What’s Up to Farrooq. It’s Table Time but Bob Holly of all people shows up to hit the Alabama Slam to D-Von. Clothesline from JBL ends Farrooq in the ring and the APA advances again.

 

Next up is X-Factor, which means Justin Credible and a clean shaven X-Pac. Albert, the third part of the group, is on the floor. Farrooq vs. X-Pac to start for a bit and now it’s off to Bradshaw. Bradshaw easily overpowers him as you would expect so it’s off to Justin now. Out to the floor where Albert, the guy that would actually win the IC Title from Kane, takes Bradshaw down for Justin.

 

Farrooq comes in now as the APA is getting a bit tired here. Leg Drop gets two. Why in the world was X-Pac given a stable of his own? Who thought that was a good idea? Nice powerslam by Farrooq gets two and it’s off to the future JBL. Bradshaw tries the fallaway slam to Pac but Albert trips him up and holds the foot down to eliminate the APA.

 

In fifth are the Hardys. Shoot no Lita. Matt is European Champion here. The Hardys dominate to start with Justin in trouble. Pac pulls the rope down and Jeff goes sailing to the floor. To be fair he’s probably high already so he didn’t feel a thing. Pac comes in and hits Jeff with the Bronco Buster. Ross says he’s graduated from Sidekick School. Is Marty Jannetty the mascot?

 

Medium tag to Matt who cleans house. Poetry in Motion sets up the Swanton but Albert pulls Matt out. Jeff takes out Matt and Albert in a big dive. A superkick from Justin to Matt gets rid of the Hardys in an upset. Jericho and his mystery partner are in next. He comes out on his own first but waves out Chris Benoit. Well I think we know the winners already here.

 

They storm the ring and the fight is on. Jericho knocks Albert down but tries to dive on him and is rammed into the post. Remember that this is technically Benoit’s fourth match in about two hours. The traditional tagging part begins with Pac vs. Benoit with Jericho down on the floor. Benoit is sitting in the corner and Justin manages to pick him up by his legs and hits a sitout powerbomb for two.

 

We hit the chinlock which Benoit fights out of with relative ease. Pac vs. Benoit again as Jericho hasn’t been in legally yet. He takes way too long setting up the Bronco Buster and Benoit moves, allowing him to bring in Jericho. The Canadian cleans house and chops away on Pac. Middle rope dropkick gets two for Jericho and we get some mild heel miscommunication.

 

Albert beats up Benoit on the floor and the referee is taken down. X-Factor hits double superkicks to Jericho but they only get two. They try a double team move but Benoit crotches X-Pac. Albert comes in and that doesn’t go well for baldie. Double suplex to Justin sets up the double submission on X-Factor. The final pairing is Benoit/Jericho vs. Edge/Christian. What a shocker.

 

Benoit gets dropped face first into the steps by Christian while it’s Jericho vs. Edge in the ring. Christian vs. Jericho at the moment as this is a very Canadian heavy match. I’m a bit confused as Jericho and Benoit were in a different corner against X-Pac than they are now. Jericho is bleeding from the mouth a bit as we’re back to the chinlock by Edge at this point.

 

Christian gets a backbreaker for two on Jericho as apparently the referee is Canadian too. Edge hammers away on Jericho but misses a dropkick. Lionsault gets knees though so we’re not done yet. Edge gets slammed into the mat and it’s off to Benoit. He ducks an incoming Christian who hits Edge by mistake and then gets a HUGE German on Christian for two.

 

Everything breaks down and the team that used to be brothers but are now friends take over again. They try a double team move but Jericho intercepts Edge and it’s a Doomsday Device with Benoit hitting a dropkick on Christian. Edge saves and DDTs Benoit for no cover. Out to the floor and Edge and Christian grab chairs. Stereo baseball slides take care of them though and the other Canadians pick up the chairs.

 

Edge spears Benoit and Jericho gets rolled up for two. Edge and Christian grab the chairs again but Benoit ducks and grabs the Crossface out of nowhere on Christian. Edge is taken out by Jericho and Benoit makes Christian tap to earn the spot against Austin and HHH which they would use in an epic match the next night on Raw.

 

Rating: B. That’s for the whole thing. Some of it was indeed kind of stupid but at the same time the ending match was great. This was one of the better matches of this kind that you’ll see as other than the first fall, everything could have at least been on Raw. This was perfectly fine and it worked rather well I thought. Fun stuff.

 

We recap Austin vs. Taker. Read the Kane vs. HHH recap but here the idea is that Austin is power crazed and made a fake phone call to Taker, telling him that his wife was in a bad car wreck so that Austin and HHH could beat on Kane with no worries of Taker. This didn’t go well as tonight it’s time for Taker’s revenge.

 

Here’s Vince as JR messes up Vince’s job title. Apparently the boss will be joining us on commentary.

 

WWF World Title: The Undertaker vs. Steve Austin

 

This is no holds barred remember. Could these two PLEASE have a good match? They have some of the worst chemistry you’ll ever find but hopefully they can get something going here. Taker jumps the champion in the aisle and the fight is on. All Taker so far as it’s Revenge Mode Taker here. He manages to hit Old School on the floor using the railing. That was rather different.

 

Back out to the floor again after about 8 seconds in the ring. Austin tries to whip Taker into the railing which gets him nowhere at all. Fire extinguisher to the face of the champion and Austin is reeling. Back the to ring but Taker gives Austin a chance to breathe by grabbing a chair. Austin manages to fight back a bit and hitting a neckbreaker. He goes for the knee but misses a chair shot and here comes Taker again.

 

Big clothesline sets up a powerslam attempt but Austin escapes. Stunner doesn’t work and a big boot from Taker gets two. Back to the floor one more time and Taker goes after Vince, allowing Austin to get a shot in to take over a bit. He wraps Taker’s left leg around the post multiple times. Ross keeps ranting about how Austin changed and Heyman says Austin said for four years “Don’t Trust Anybody.” Ross of course has nothing but tries to say Heyman doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I love Heyman at times.

 

Back in the ring again and Austin works on the knee even more. Austin grabs a leg lock and Taker rams his head with elbows. A pair of low blows puts Taker right back down as the fans chant that Austin Sucks. Taker uses the good leg to ram Austin’s head and he’s on his feet now. He has one good leg though so he sends Austin to the floor for a bit. What an original idea in this match.

 

It’s table time as Heyman tells Taker that the Spanish guys are over there in a funny line. Chokeslam through the table and Austin is in trouble. BUT WHAT ABOUT THE DIET SODAS??? Austin’s back is bleeding as he kicks out at two in the ring from that chokeslam. Wow that was a badly written sentence. Elbow drop gets two and the fans are into this. Vince is off commentary now.

 

We hit the floor for I think the fifth time in about fifteen minutes and Austin hits Taker with a monitor to take over. Taker is busted now. Back in the ring and they slug it out. Taker sends him into the ropes but gets caught by a Lou Thesz Press which is booed out of the building. I could do without Ross saying “who is this man” and the like.

 

Austin gets a low blow and it’s clear both of them are getting tired. He does that move where the other guy is in a 619 position and he runs at them to jump on their back. What is that move called anyway? Heyman points out he does know both of these guys as he managed both of them early in the year. Sleeper by Austin as JR needs to stop running his mouth.

 

Taker reverses with a suplex but Austin cracks him with the chair to put him down one more time. Now the fans like Austin. This is an odd crowd. Austin sets for the Stunner so Taker flips him off. Stunner gets two and a big pop for the kickout. Austin wears him out with the chair which apparently doesn’t do much since Taker hits the chokeslam a few seconds later.

 

Instead of covering though Austin grabs the chair and beats Austin a few times with it. Ok make it a lot of times. HHH comes down with the sledgehammer and gets beaten down as well. Taker covers Austin but Vince breaks it up. He beats on the boss and manages to avoid an Austin chair shot which ends Vince. Sledgehammer to the head of Taker ends it as Kane’s pyro and music hits. NICE TIMING LITTLE BROTHER!

 

Rating: C. Nothing great at all here but it’s one of their better matches. The booking at the end makes some sense I guess but I’m still not a fan of it. WAY too much going to the floor here but overall the match worked pretty well. Taker looked pretty good out there as did Austin. Not that any of that matters as due to HHH being injured they had to hotshot the Alliance but what are you going to do?

 

Overall Rating: C+. Not an awful show but really nothing great. There’s nothing worth going out of your way to see other than maybe Angle vs. Benoit. Those two have had FAR better matches though so it’s nothing that’s required viewing. The company was clearly going down slightly at this point but the Invasion would help a bit. Anyway, nothing special here and not really worth seeing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for only $5 at:

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 5, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

This is a different kind of show as I have no idea what’s coming here. Due to the WWE being in Orlando this week, the only recappers that care enough about Impact were at Raw and Smackdown, so there aren’t any spoilers coming in this week. It’s kind of a nice change of pace and I’m curious to see what happens when I don’t know what to expect. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s ending with Hogan becoming the new GM.

The roster is around ringside and here’s Hulk to address them. He thanks Sting for having his back and talks about meeting with creative earlier today. There’s going to be a lot of new stuff coming up but first of all, let’s talk about Lockdown. Hogan makes Morgan vs. Crimson and it ends there. As for the Knockouts, there’s a Knockouts Championship Challenge to determine the #1 contender, whatever that means.

Hogan calls out Eric Bischoff but Flair says he’s not here. Flair says no one tells him anything so Hogan says get Eric here. Here’s Roode who says he’s right on time. Roode says that his only obligation is Lockdown so he’s out of here. Hogan says hang on a minute and calls Anderson into the ring. He makes Roode vs. Anderson tonight because it’s what the people want. As for Angle, he won’t be wrestling Hardy at Lockdown. That draws booing, so he’s wrestling Hardy tonight. Actually RIGHT NOW! As in after a break!

Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle

Hardy hooks an armbar to start and Kurt has some issues breaking it. Instead of wrestling he goes to the eyes but Hardy whips off a headscissors to send Kurt to the floor. There’s a slingshot dropkick and they brawl to the outside. Kurt is busted open. Kurt pounds Jeff down and we take a break. Back with Jeff hitting a great Whisper in the Wind to put both guys down. Twist is countered into the Rolling Germans with Kurt trapping Jeff’s left arm.

Jeff comes back with a Twisting Stunner but as he sets for the Swanton, Kurt runs the corner and hits the belly to belly. There’s the ankle lock but Jeff counters and hits a mule kick to put Angle down. Kurt grabs the referee to prevent the Swanton and tries to get Jeff to jump into a low blow but it’s avoided. Twist is countered again and Angle goes to the floor where he takes the countout at 12:54.

Rating: B-. This was getting good until the ending. I’d bet money on the rematch happening in ten days anyway (namely because I saw the rematch being made before I wrote this rating) because the idea of making people pay to see the match is a stupid idea in wrestling right? Good match until the bad ending.

Hogan runs into Angle in the back and makes the rematch for Lockdown in ten days. I give up.

Flair gets Eric on the phone and says get here.

Ray is trending apparently and says he’ll be the next world champion. He’s going to take care of Aries next.

Ray is in the ring and says he’s eaten chicken wings bigger than Aries. Here’s the X Champion who quiets the crowd down and the blasts Ray with the mic. He pounds Ray in the corner and the beating is on. He goes for ten punches in the corner but Ray hits a HUGE powerbomb out of the corner.

Joseph Park is looking in catering for Abyss. No luck again. He needs to find someone soon.

AJ is praising Storm when Storm pops up. Storm has to have a match tonight and he wants it to be with the best. Storm vs. AJ later. Geez think they’re stacking this show enough?

Mickie James vs. Winter vs. Tara vs. Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky

I think this is one fall. Angelina and Madison start and everyone runs in to break up the pins. Mickie replaces Madison and gets two off a neckbreaker. Side slam gets the same for Angelina. Velvet tags herself in and hits a low dropkick. Rayne and Love get in an argument as Tara comes in. The spinning side slam gets two and it’s off to Mickie vs. Velvet. Madison knocks Mickie down before she gets in and we go to the parade of finishers which culminates with Velvet hitting In Yo Face on Mickie for the pin at 7:08.

Rating: D+. I know I’m underrating these most of the time but I don’t care about women’s wrestling most of the time. Nothing to see here but at least they’re getting back to Velvet who is the most popular of the Knockouts. I don’t think Winter was ever in the match which is sad as I love that pale British thing.

Anderson says he’ll beat Roode when the champ and his security come in.

Storm and Hardy were at some country music awards.

Off to Eric Young’s bachelor party. They have suckers, non-alcoholic beer and a fantasy baseball draft. ODB comes in with alcohol and chicken wings. This goes nowhere.

James Storm vs. AJ Styles

Feeling out process for the first few minutes of the match. They fight over headlocks and AJ keeps looking for the kick. AJ takes it to the mat and goes for the leg but Storm runs. Did Styles add a submission that I don’t remember? Styles is sent to the corner and Storm hits a running enziguri from the apron. He goes up but AJ hits an enziguri of his own. AJ goes up but gets caught in a wicked Eye of the Storm for two. He tries the Closing Time but AJ blocks it and tries a figure four. That gets him nowhere so Styles tries the backflip into the reverse DDT, only for Storm to duck and kick AJ’s head off for the pin at 6:38.

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here and that was an AWESOME superkick. The look on Styles’ face after he gets up is great as he looks like he got hit by a bus. This is what Storm needs before the main event at Lockdown: clean wins over big names. AJ isn’t going to get a main event push anytime soon so have him put people over like this.

Storm wants Roode in the ring next week.

Hogan tells Sting to take the time to get healthy because he needs Sting.

Storm celebrates with Montgomery Gentry, a country act. He leaves and Roode/security come up and the champ spits water at them.

Motorcity Machineguns vs. Mexican America

Here’s their big return. Shelley and Anarquia start things off with the Guns controlling early. Sabin comes in as does Hernandez. The speed takes over with a bulldog for two and it’s back to Shelley for some more double teaming. Shelley’s tornado DDT is broken up but we get quick heel miscommunication. The Guns speed things up and finish with Skull and Bones at 4:19.

Rating: C. This was just a squash as the Guns were clearly never in any danger. The thing is I don’t know what they’re supposed to do other than a feud with Joe and Magnus, as the division is about two teams deep at this point. They’re still fun to watch but there’s no Beer Money to feud with. I’m glad they’re back though.

Bischoff gets here and Flair whines about Hogan.

Back from a break and Hulk is in the ring, calling out Eric. Eric talks about how no one would predict that this would happen in the year 2012: Bischoff vs. Hogan. Eric says there are a lot of differences between the two of them but the big one is Hogan isn’t a leader. Hogan isn’t a leader of men like Eric is.

Hulk makes Team Garrett vs. Team Eric at Lockdown in Lethal Lockdown. Oh sweet merciful goodness he’s captaining the team for the namesake match at the second biggest show of the year. If Eric’s team wins, Garrett is off the roster forever. If Garrett’s team wins, Eric is gone….and he can never use the Eric Bischoff name again. How exactly can he do that? I mean….it’s his name.

Video on Storm training.

Mr. Anderson vs. Bobby Roode

Unless there’s an overrun which there hasn’t been in months, this is going to be a pretty short match. The security gets thrown out before the match and Anderson jumps Roode in the aisle. Anderson takes over quickly but the champ takes him down. We’re told that next week there’s a best of three series for the man advantage in Lethal Lockdown.

Roode runs his mouth about being the champ and walks into a powerslam for two. Fisherman’s suplex is countered as is Anderson’s neckbreaker. There goes the referee and Anderson hits the rolling fireman’s carry slam. Roode steals a beer from what appeared to be an 8 year old’s hands and the bottle goes across Anderson’s head for the pin at 4:11.

Rating: C. I’m trying to get over that kid. Seriously he looked like he was 11 at oldest. The match was nothing special but given just over four minutes there was only so much that they could do. Not much to see to it and the post match stuff doesn’t really mean much. Anderson is in the main event jobber role now which is about where he belongs.

Hogan and Storm come out post match and Hogan reverses the decision. Roode doesn’t seem to care.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a significantly better show than the last two, but I don’t like what it looks like they’re doing. It looks like they’re stacking the TV shows to get the TV ratings up which is fine short term but it’s a bad idea for the long term. I’m not wild on Hogan as GM but if we get rid of Bischoff in two weeks I’m good. This was a good show for the most part, but I’m not sure I like where things are heading.

Results
Jeff Hardy b. Kurt Angle via countout
Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love, Mickie James, Winter, Madison Rayne and Tara – In Yo Face to James
James Storm b. AJ Styles – Last Call
Motor City Machineguns b. Mexican America – Skull and Bones to Anarquia
Mr. Anderson b. Bobby Roode via DQ when Roode hit Anderson with a beer bottle

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and check out my book on the History of the WWE Championship on Amazon at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 4, 2005
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,653
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is from the Raw after Wrestlemania and was a request. HHH has lost the world title to Batista last night so this is the start of a new era in a sense. Looking at the rest of the card (which is pretty short in the first place), we’ve got Edge vs. Benoit which should be good. I’m not sure what else to expect tonight so let’s get to it.

We open with a Wrestlemania recap set to Behind Those Eyes by 3 Doors Down. They’re my favorite band so I’m not complaining here. It transitions to another song that I don’t recognize. It was the show where Cena and Batista won their first world titles, plus there was the first MITB match and Angle vs. Shawn’s classic. If it ran about 45 minutes shorter, it would be one of the best ever. With that extra time though, it’s just a good show.

Here’s HHH to open the show. You know, the guy that lost last night. The Game can’t get anything in because of the Batista chants. He admits that he lost the title but goes into a huge rant about how the Batista Era isn’t beginning because he was on for one night only. HHH is great every night. You think he gives that same speech to Stephanie when she complains about things? HHH says he owns the title and the rematch is at Backlash. He’ll get the title back and ram it down all of our throats.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Jericho

This was when Shelton was the hottest star in the company not named Cena or Batista and he’s defending the title here. I think all three of these guys were in MITB last night. Yeah they were. Thanks JR. JR then loses his credibility for this match saying Shelton won the title off Jericho a few weeks ago. He won it in November JR. Shelton and Jericho square off but Christian wants some of that. He gets punched in the face for his efforts and double teamed.

Jericho and Shelton seem to team up for a bit but that breaks down quickly. Chris controls on the champion and hits the bulldog, but he’s too banged up for the Lionsault. Christian comes back in and sends Jericho to the floor so he can work on Shelton. Off to a chinlock as the fans chant CLB. Shelton loads up a superplex on Christian but Jericho comes in to powerbomb him, making it a Tower of Doom.

Everyone is down and Jericho gets two on Christian, then two on Shelton. Jericho fires off a forearm and enziguri on Christian but covers Shelton instead for some reason. Shelton sunset flips Jericho but Christian rolls him up for two. Jericho sunset flips BOTH of them at once for two. Stinger Splash from the champion hits Jericho and the Exploder puts him down, but Tomko pulls Shelton out. Jericho hooks the Walls on Christian but Shelton comes in with a springboard bulldog (looked GREAT) to Jericho for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. I was really getting into this. The midcard was pretty awesome at this point with Shelton leading the way. Then he got lazy and stopped caring which really crippled his career. Anyway, at this point he rocked and couldn’t have a boring match if his life depended on it. When Christian and Jericho have trouble keeping up with you, that says a lot.

Edge is in the back with Bischoff and signs his contract for a world title shot. That’s the MITB contract I think. Bischoff asks if he wants to use it tonight but Edge says no, because he wants to pick his spot. Eric says you get Benoit tonight then.

Here’s Orton who lost to Taker last night. The fans chant for Undertaker and Orton says it wasn’t supposed to go that way. He talks about being chokeslammed and tombstoned last night. Orton claims a shoulder injury during the match last night and he would have reversed the Tombstone otherwise. But enough of that, because he wants to talk about Batista. He respects Undertaker but doesn’t respect Batista. Orton says he’s the future and wants Batista TONIGHT. Eric comes out and says that HHH gets the next shot because of his rematch clause. Orton says make the match tonight and Eric says ok.

Women’s Title: Christy Hemme vs. Trish Stratus

Christy looks GREAT in blue. Christy is the Divas Search winner and Lita is training her. That doesn’t make her any good in the ring but she looks great. Trish is evil here and this is a rematch from last night. Before the bell ever rings, Trish KILLS Christy with a Chick Kick and knocks her out. Lita, still injured, gets in Trish’s face and they slug it out, but Trish kicks Lita in her injured knee and puts a hold on her. Trish walks out, but DANG that kick looked great.

We get a clip from last night with Muhammad Hassan jumping Eugene and beating him up until Hogan made the save. That’s still a great moment that I still watch from time to time. By clip, I mean the whole segment.

Here’s Shawn, limping after Angle destroyed his leg last night. He talks about how he gave it everything he had last night but things didn’t end like he planned. Shawn asks for a small favor: would anyone want to see a rematch? The fans want it so Shawn says he’ll do whatever he can do to make it happen.

Cue Hassan and Daivari to get on our nerves by speaking Farsi or whatever language that is. Hassan makes fun of Shawn for losing and says Shawn fears him because he’s Arab American. Shawn takes his jacket off and Hassan calls him a loser. This starts a brawl but Shawn’s knee gives out and he gets beaten down. Hassan puts him in a camel clutch to end this.

Edge vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit has a bad left arm from last night. They brawl fairly slowly and Edge is knocked to the floor. Back in and a knee to the ribs puts Edge down. Benoit is having to fight tentatively because of the arm. Out to the floor again and Benoit fires off some chops. He slides back in and takes Edge down with a baseball slide. Coming back in, Edge drapes the arm over the top rope and Benoit is in trouble.

Edge works over the arm with a wristlock and a hammerlock. Benoit comes back with a trio of Germans, the third one being release style. He stupidly goes up but the Swan Dive misses and the arm hits the mat again. Benoit gets sent to the floor and we take a break. Back with Edge working on the arm even more. During the break Benoit tried the Crossface but the arm gave out.

Edge cranks on the arm even more but goes up and is crotched. Benoit chops him on the corner and they trade headbutts. Benoit GOES OFF and hits a huge superplex to put both guys down. Here’s the Sharpshooter which Benoit wisely pulls on with the right arm. After about two minutes, Edge finally gets to the ropes. The bandage is off Benoit’s arm. He manages the Crossface but the arm gives out so Edge can escape. He DDTs the arm and loads up the spear, but Benoit sidesteps him to send Edge into the corner, letting Chris roll him up for the pin.

Rating: B. Two matches up, both very good so far. These two were always going to give you good matches and the arm injury was a really nice story to put into the match. Benoit would never reach the level he hit the previous year but he was always good for something like this. Edge would do little for the rest of the year before cashing in the case in January.

Edge rams Benoit’s arm into the steps post match. He also beats on it with a chair.

It’s time for an infomercial by Simon Dean for the Simon System with Maven as his protege. This isn’t going to end well. Simon says (get it?) that anyone, even the people in LA, can look like Maven using his system. He says that the people here are getting fat drinking beer. I think I can hear the glass shattering from here. Yep there it is. Austin makes fun of the system and says WHAT a lot. If you won’t know where this is going, I’ve failed you.

They agree to try each others’ drinks and Simon asks for a glass. Austin has none of that so Simon holds his nose. Simon does push-ups to work off the calories of the beer. They’re wasting Austin on this? Austin says do a bunch of push-ups which Simon does. Now it’s time for Austin to try the protein shake. Austin says the shake smells awful and won’t drink it. Maven says that’s because it’s a man’s drink and throws it on Austin. Stunners and beer abound for awhile.

Orton is coming to the ring and runs into Kane who makes fnu of him for losing.

Batista vs. Randy Orton

Non-title. We get our first look at the guy that won the main event of Wrestlemania with less than eight minutes of air time left. The bell rings with less than six and a half minutes to go in the show. Orton shoves him into the corner but Big Dave powers out of it. Orton takes over and hooks a chinlock but Batista snapmares out of it.

They’re very clearly going through the motions here. Batista pounds on him and shoves him into the corner for the shoulders. He misses one though and Batista’s shoulder hits the post. Not that it really matters as he rams Orton’s face into the post. Back in the spinebuster and the Batista Bomb get the easy pin.

Rating: D. Pretty boring match here as these two never really had the big match that I think they were always expected to have. They should have had a great feud and rivalry on paper but it never really played out that way in reality. Not the worst match ever but for Batista’s first match as champion it didn’t work that well.

HHH comes out to applaud Batista to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling was mostly good here and the show was entertaining enough, but the main event did very little for Batista. This felt more like Austin was the main attraction or something like that. Not a bad show but there needed to be WAY more focus on Batista.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the history of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:

Wrestlemania XXII
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We head to the midwest here for a pretty forgotten show. The main events here are Cena defending against HHH and Angle defending against Guerrero and Orton. No that isn’t a typo. The triple threat has nothing to do with Rey Mysterio but rather is there to milk every dime possible out of Eddie’s corpse. Seriously, that’s it. Other than that we have Shawn vs. Vince and Edge vs. Foley in a match that allegedly made Edge a bigger deal. Let’s get to it.

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is a Wrestlemania montage set to I Dare You by Shinedown. Awesome song and an awesome video.

We also get the usual kind of opening video with hype for the major matches.

Raw Tag Titles: Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Big Show/Kane

The monsters are defending here. Kane and Masters start stuff out and the 6’5 Masters looks tiny by comparison. Show headbutts him from the apron before coming in legally for some chops. A poke to Big Show’s eye slows him down and here’s Carlito who is immediately chopped down. Masters is slammed down as well with Show throwing Carlito over the top and out onto Chris.

Kane goes up top and dives onto both guys as the challengers are in trouble. Somewhere in between there the turnbuckle pad has been removed and Show misses a charge, going head first into said buckle. It doesn’t seem to have much effect though as Show suplexes both guys down with ease. Off to Kane as everything breaks down. Kane pounds away on Carlito in the corner and hits the side slam for no cover.

The top rope clothesline misses Masters though and there’s the Masterlock to Kane. Show breaks it up seconds later but there’s the Backstabber to Kane. The chokeslam is broken up by Masters and Show is sent to the floor. Kane’s double chokeslam attempt is broken up but after causing some heel miscommunication, a solo version to Carlito retains the titles.

Rating: C. Not bad here but this is one of the matches that probably could have been cut for the sake of trimming the show a bit. The match was a squash and not a very interesting one either. That’s the problem with a pair of giants like Big Show and Kane: there’s no one that can stop them and the resulting matches are dull at times. Not bad but it felt like a Raw match.

The losers argue post match.

Shawn says that when he told Vince to grow up, he was telling the truth. It’s pretty funny that a year ago Shawn and Angle stole the show and a year before that he stole the show with Benoit and HHH. This year though it’s going to be about violence, not the five star classic. Shawn tells Vince to pray tonight because he’ll be enduring quite a bit.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Finlay vs. Ric Flair vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley

Money in the Bank here. Shelton is Intercontinental Champion and Matt is arguably the favorite. It’s a big brawl to start with Lashley cleaning house. The crowd favors RVD. Benjamin hits a BIG kick to Lashley’s head to put him down as Matt tries to bring in the first ladder. Instead it’s Van Dam with a baseball slide to take Matt down, followed by a big flip dive to put him down again. Shelton brings in a ladder of his own and after laying out Finlay with it, he sets the ladder up as a ramp for a springboard flip dive to take out everyone under the age of 40.

Finlay sets up a ladder but here’s Flair for the save. Naitch tries to climb but Matt superplexes him off the ladder which is good enough to hurt Flair’s back and knock him out of the match. As Flair is taken out, Van Dam lays out Shelton on the ladder but misses Rolling Thunder, hitting only the ladder. Lashley goes for a climb but Benjamin goes up to stop him. Shelton tries a sunset bomb over the top of the ladder but it takes Matt and Finlay helping to complete the move.

Matt gets a running start at Finlay but has a ladder pelted at him to put Hardy right back down. Finlay sets up the ladder but here’s Flair hobbling down the aisle. Instead of climbing up the ladder though, Finlay goes into the aisle and gets chopped back down. Ric fights off Shelton and Hardy and goes up, getting his hand on the case. Finlay goes up the ladder though and blasts him with the club to put him back down.

Shelton and Finlay fight on top of the ladder but here’s Lashley with another ladder to knock the ladder with two people on it down to the mat. Now Lashley goes up but Van Dam comes off the top rope and dropkicks a chair into Lashley’s back to break up the climb. Matt, ever the bright guy, goes up top on the ladder but drops a leg instead of going for the case. Matt goes up and gets his hand on the ladder, only to have Finlay make a save. Hardy takes Finlay down with a Side Effect off the ladder to put everyone down.

Van Dam, also not the brightest guy in the world, comes off the ladder with a splash on Finlay, leaving everyone down again. In the spot of the match, Van Dam goes for a climb but Shelton springboards off the top rope and lands on the ladder to punch Rob down. That looked AWESOME but he has to stop Matt instead of getting the briefcase. Matt and Shelton’s ladder fall down though and it’s Van Dam pulling down the case to win the match and the title shot.

Rating: B. Shelton’s spot was INSANE but this match was a bit too short. Also the match wasn’t as big with the spots as it was last year but the spots that were big certainly did look good. It’s not quite as good as last year, but it still lived up to the hype. A better roster would have helped this one too, as Finlay didn’t fit in a match like this and Flair didn’t exactly either.

Randy Orton interrupts Gene Okerlund and insults the idea of Okerlund being inducted into the Hall of Fame. Gene isn’t impressed and says he’ll be in the Hall of Fame one day because of nights like tonight. Batista, still injured at this point, comes up and says he’s coming for the winner of the triple threat tonight. Batista vs. Orton was the match that never got to have on the big stage they wanted to.

Here’s the Hal of Fame (minus Bret because pigs haven’t grown wings yet): Okerlund, Sherri Martel, Tony Atlas, Verne Gagne, William Perry (in barely fitting street clothes), The Blackjacks (with a drool inducing Maria) and the co-headliner, Eddie Guerrero (biggest ovation and accepted by Vickie).

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is challenging and takes over with a quick headlock. Benoit comes back with a drop toehold but can’t get the Crossface this early. Back to the headlock by JBL but Benoit gets his back and pounds on the challenger’s neck. The Sharpshooter is broken up very quickly and Jibbles heads to the floor. Back in and Benoit avoids a charge in the corner and lays out Bradshaw with the Rolling Germans. The champion loads up the Swan Dive but JBL crotches him to escape.

JBL cranks up the heel by doing Eddie’s chest slap. A superplex puts Benoit down but only gets a very delayed two. There’s the Eddie dance and JBL hits Three Amigos to HUGE heat. Benoit knees his way out of the third Amigo and pounds away, only to get kicked in the face for two. Off to a lame chinlock (his hands aren’t even locked) by JBL but Benoit suplexes his way out. Now Chris hits Three Amigos to a solid ovation before doing the chest slap. Now the Swan Dive hits for two and Benoit counters the Clothesline into a Crossface attempt, but JBL rolls onto his back and grabs the rope for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. Just like the opener this was pretty meh but JBL was an awesome heel here. The part of this that sticks in my mind though is Benoit hitting that headbutt. After it hit he was grabbing his skull and was clearly in pain. Every time I see him hit something like that I cringe a little bit more and wonder if that was the point of no return.

We recap Foley vs. Edge. Edge cashed in MITB at New Year’s Revolution and Mick was guest referee for the title change for no apparent reason. Foley got beaten up as Edge accused Foley of losing his edge so to speak.

Joey Styles jumps in on commentary for the next match.

Mick Foley vs. Edge

This is a hardcore match and DEAR GOODNESS I forgot how hot Lita looked in this match. Edge comes out in a vest with a ball bat but Foley comes out in…..gray flannel? There’s a Cactus shirt under it but I didn’t come to Wrestlemania to see Foley in GRAY flannel. Edge swings with the bat but only hits buckle. Foley slams him into the mat and puts Edge upside down in the Tree of Woe for the running fist to the face.

Edge comes back with a forearm and tells Lita to send him something. We get various flat metal objects like cookie sheets and stop signs which are smashed against Foley’s head. Edge loses the vest and hits the spear before falling to the side and writhing in pain. Foley opens up the flannel and reveals a ring of barbed wire wrapped around his stomach and A RED FLANNEL SHIRT! Edge’s arm is hacked open so Foley whips him with the barbed wire and drives it into the arm cut.

Edge is tied up in the ropes and Foley pulls out a barbed wire ball bat. Lita tries to interfere but a Cactus Clothesline to Edge puts all three on the floor. A swinging neckbreaker on the floor gets two for Foley but as he charges at Edge he gets hiptossed into the steps, leg first. Edge whips Foley HARD into the steps, destroying the knees even further. Mick is put on a table on the floor but rolls off before Edge can dive. Edge slams Mick’s head into the steel ramp for two and another sick thud.

Back inside the ring they go and Edge covers Foley with lighter fluid. Well that’s certainly stepping things up. A piledriver out of nowhere gets two for Foley and he loads up the Conchairto, only to have Lita make a save. Edge hits a DDT “onto” the chair before getting the barbed wire bat for some midsection shots. There’s a shot to the face for good measure and Foley is busted open. Edge gets in some psychology by ripping the barbed wire of Foley’s forehead like Foley did to HHH in 2000.

Since nothing else has worked, Edge busts out the thumbtacks. Foley blocks a facial damaging bulldog with a belly to back suplex into the tacks to send Edge into shock. It’s Socko time but Foley wraps it in barbed wire for good measure. Foley gets in a barbed wire bat shot to Edge’s ribs and one to the head as well, cutting his head open something fierce. Now Foley gets the lighter fluid to cover the table, but Lita slows him down with a bat shot to the ribs. The table is lit and Edge SPEARS FOLEY THROUGH THE ROPES AND THE FLAMING TABLE for the pin.

Rating: A. Oh yeah this worked. This was about blood and violence which is something you never get anymore. It helped that you had Foley and Edge out there, as in guys that knew how to wrestle a match and make a wrestling crowd care. That’s the difference between this and ECW: this was well built and about emotion and hatred instead of a freak show. Also it’s ONCE, not every match on the card.

The look of shock on Edge’s face as he goes to the back is amazing.

Booker and Sharmell want to know why Boogeyman wants them. They go to the ring for their match and see Pirate Paul Burchill practicing his sword play. Then it’s DiBiase offering Eugene money for dribbling a ball 100 times in a row, only to kick it away at 99. Snitsky is licking Mae Young’s foot with Moolah watching.

Goldust is dressed like Oprah (they used to be partners remember) and is apparently the leader of this group of freaks. He tells Booker to embrace his inner freak or he can’t beat the Boogeyman tonight. Goldust suggests putting worms somewhere and Booker freaks out. Booker and Sharmell leave and unfortunately there’s no Wrestlemania dance party.

Backlash ad. Hey I was there.

Some celebrities are here.

Booker T/Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

The idea here is that Booker and Sharmell are terrified. Booker makes Sharmell start but jumps Boogeyman to get things going. There’s a bunch of smoke in the arena from Boogeyman’s entrance and you can barely see anything. Boogeyman starts no selling stuff including the Book End which doesn’t even get a cover. The ax kick misses and a forearm puts Booker down. Boogey eats a big handful of worms but Sharmell picks up his staff. She tries to sneak up on him but SCREAMS to make sure Boogey hears her. A wormy kiss sends Sharmell running and the chokebomb ends Booker for the pin.

Rating: F. Do I really need to explain this? Booker would somehow be world champion in four months. I don’t get the idea behind Boogeyman and it never worked at all. This match didn’t need to be a handicap match either as Sharmell didn’t add a thing to the entire match. The stupid smoke was annoying too.

We recap Trish vs. Mickie. Mickie showed up as the psycho (and HOT) Trish stalker/lesbian luster. Trish turned her down so Mickie snapped and kicked her in the head. Mickie then kidnapped Trish’s friend Ashley and laid out Trish as she tried to save Ashley. Mickie kissed the unconscious Trish, sending 12 year olds everywhere into a frenzy.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

Mickie is challenging and has those awesome skirts that go all over the place. Trish is looking great too with the usual attire but showing her stomach as well. Trish is all aggressive here and chops Mickie down into the splits. They head to the floor but the Chick Kick hits the post. Mickie wraps the leg around the post and is still looking very psycho. Back in and a dropkick to the knee takes Trish down again, as does a dragon screw leg whip for two.

The fans chant for Mickie and I can’t say I blame them. Mickie wraps the leg around the ropes before driving it down into the mat for good measure. Off to a half crab followed by a knee crank but Trish power up and hooks a spinning headscissors to put James down. Trish comes back with the forearms and a spinebuster of all things for two. Trish’s corner splash hits feet but as Mickie goes up, Stratus tries the Stratusphere but gets slammed down for a sexy two. A rana is countered into a powerbomb for two and Trish is TICKED.

Trish tries the Matrish but the knee gives out. Instead she tries Stratusfaction but Mickie gropes Trish’s crotch to break it up. It’s exactly what it sounds like. Mickie licks her fingers so Trish DRILLS HER with a forearm. Trish keeps firing away but the knee gives out, and then the match falls off the rails. Mickie tries the Stratusfaction but COMPLETELY misses the rope, making it almost look like a botched atomic drop by Trish. Instead Mickie hits a lame Chick Kick to end Trish’s reign. JR sums it up perfectly: “The nutjob won the title!”

Rating: B-. This was one of the best Divas matches ever but the ending cripples it. The idea here was that it wasn’t a women’s match but rather a match featuring women in it. These two were beating each other up and Trish had real emotion out there. Mickie was PERFECT for this character and you really felt like she had a screw loose. The sexuality was there but it wasn’t the focus which is nice for a change. It’s nice to see a real story and a real fight between two people who happen to be gorgeous women. Good stuff here.

Vince leads his family in a prayer before his match with Shawn. Vince: “God, I don’t like you and you don’t like me.” That’s where it starts and I think you get the idea.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

This is a casket match and WAY before Henry got awesome. Druids bring out the casket surrounded by torches. Basically Henry has beaten up Undertaker and isn’t scared of the dark. No one on the planet thought Henry had a chance here. I’d bet even his mama didn’t. Henry pounds away to start and no sells a few clotheslines before running Taker over. They trade shots into the steps with Henry taking control before heading back inside. Back in and Henry chokes Undertaker down like he’s not even there.

Taker fights back but has Old School broken up with ease. The casket is opened but Taker kicked his way to safety. The Dead Man gets back to his feet and manages to hit Old School this time but it doesn’t drop Henry. A Downward Spiral is easily blocked and Henry controls again by choking on the ropes. Henry misses a charge though and lands in the casket, only to pull Taker down in with him.

They fight out of the casket and head back into the ring where Taker charges into the World’s Strongest Slam but Henry covers on instinct instead of carrying Taker to the casket. Henry makes the incredibly stupid yet eternally made mistake of pounding down on Taker in the corner, only to be powerbombed out of the corner. Mark is knocked out to the floor where Taker hits hit HUGE Taker Dive to put Henry down again. Back in and there’s the Tombstone, allowing Taker to put Henry in the casket to win.

Rating: D+. It’s Mark Henry and this is long before the career resurgence he had in 2011. There was never any doubt that Taker would win his signature match against a guy who just wasn’t on his level. Not a good Mania match here for Taker, but he would win the world title at the next two editions so he would be ok soon.

We recap Vince vs. Shawn. Back in December, Vince had been talking about Montreal again and Shawn finally said let it go before nearly superkicking Vince. This led to Vince basically declaring war on Shawn, eventually leading to a street fight here tonight.

Vince McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels

Oh wait actually this is no holds barred rather than a street fight because they’re such different things. Before the match Vince unveils a poster version of his cover of Muscle and Fitness magazine, which is indeed pretty impressive. Shawn will have none of this though and goes after the boss, pounding away at him and throwing him over the announce table for good measure. Vince gets choked out with a cable as the commentators lose their equipment.

Shawn cracks Vince over the head with his poster and here’s the Spirit Squad to try to save Vince. They’re five cheerleaders (one of them being Dolph Ziggler) who beat up Shawn with their five man lifting slam, but Kenny misses a guillotine legdrop. Shawn gets their megaphone and beats all of them up while Vince is getting a breather. The breather allows Vince to get in a clothesline and take over for a bit.

McMahon rips off his own belt to whip and choke Shawn but his attempt at Sweet Chin Music is easily blocked. The forearm puts Vince down and there’s a whipping for Vince. There’s the top rope elbow but as Shawn tunes up the band, here’s Shane to blast him with a kendo stick. Shane pulls out handcuffs but before they tie Shawn up, Vince takes down his pants. Yeah they’re doing this at Wrestlemania. Shane tries to send Shawn’s face in but Michaels reverses and we get a very disturbing father/son bonding moment.

Shawn hits Vince low and handcuffs Shane to the ropes. After throwing the key into the crowd and doing Shane’s dance, Shawn pounds him with the kendo stick and pulls out a chair. A BIG chair shot cracks Vince’s head open even more than it already was. Instead of kicking Vince’s head off though, Shawn pulls out a ladder. After ramming that into Vince’s head too, Shawn pulls out some trashcans to beat on Vince with as well.

There’s a table thrown in too and this can’t end well. Vince is placed on the table but Shawn isn’t pleased with the ladder he’s got. Instead he gets the jumbo ladder and puts the trashcan over Vince’s head. Shawn climbs the jumbo ladder and drops the BIGGEST ELBOW EVER through Vince through the table. The Sweet Chin Music is the icing on the carnage and it’s finally over.

Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade as it’s really closer to a long segment than a match. Shawn DESTROYED Vince here and that’s what the whole thing was supposed to be. Unfortunately this feud would keep going for about six more months with DX reuniting to fight Vince and all his cronies. Still though, it was certainly entertaining and that’s all it was supposed to be.

Vince is wheeled out on a stretcher but still manages to flip off Shawn. That’s so Vince.

Wrestlemania 23 is coming to Detroit.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match, or the Eddie Guerrero Tribute match. You can call it either thing really as they’re the same thing. Guerrero died five months ago and Rey dedicated his Royal Rumble performance to Eddie, so of course he won. Randy Orton told Rey that Eddie was burning, which was enough to get Rey to put his title shot on the line at No Way Out.

Rey lost, but Teddy Long made it a triple threat with Rey involved, even though Rey lost a fair bet to Orton. This gets the music video, set to I Dare You by Shinedown. Oh and Kurt Angle is world champion coming into this and couldn’t be more of an afterthought. He was in Wrestling Machine mode at this point though and was completely made of awesome.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

P.O.D. plays Rey to the ring. Rey comes out in some freaky looking eagle headdress which I guess is a Mexican thing. During Angle’s entrance, Orton grabs the belt from the referee and blasts Kurt in the face to send him to the floor. Rey tries a springboard cross body but Orton dropkicks him out of the air for two. Angle is back in now for a German suplex on Orton before suplexing BOTH GUYS AT ONCE. Angle is amazing, period.

Orton hits his backbreaker on Angle for two of his own as this is very fast paced to start. A belly to belly puts Orton down and Kurt puts Randy on the top for something, but Rey charges at Angle to break it up. Angle instead launches Rey up at Randy who is taken down in a SWEET hurricanrana by the masked dude. The ankle lock to Orton is quickly broken up by Rey and a big kick to Kurt’s head gets two. The fans chant for the 619 but as Rey loads it up, Kurt grabs the legs into the ankle lock with the grapevine.

Orton distracts the referee as Rey taps before finally breaking up the hold. Angle starts busting out the Germans and an Angle Slam puts Rey on the floor. The ankle lock goes on Randy and there’s a grapevine for good measure. Orton taps but now Rey pulls the referee out and covers his eyes in a pretty brilliant move. Back to the ankle lock but Rey drops the dime on Angle to break it up. The fans are booing Rey for some reason.

Mysterio misses a charge into the corner and slams his shoulder into the corner. The Angle Slam to Orton is countered into an RKO but since this is Wrestlemania it only gets two. Randy limps to the top rope for some reason and you just don’t do that with Kurt Angle in the ring. There’s the running up the corner suplex but Rey tries the 619 around the post. I say try because he slips off the apron and has to just kick Angle in the head for two.

Angle is kicked to the floor and there’s an over the shoulder backbreaker into a neckbreaker for two on Rey. I love that move. Randy loads up the RKO but gets Angle Slammed for two for Kurt. The Angle Slam to Rey is escaped and an armdrag sends Angle to the floor. The 619 and West Coast Pop to Orton give Mysterio the title.

Rating: C-. Uh…..what? No seriously, where’s the rest of this match? The Smackdown World Title match with a new champion gets less than nine and a half minutes at Wrestlemania? It was entertaining while it lasted, but there are Smackdown main events that get twice the amount of time this got. Was Rey ever even in trouble in this match? I’m guessing the match got cut short, but we had nearly 20 minutes for Vince to get beaten up? This is a head scratcher if there’s ever been one.

Chavo and Vickie celebrate with Rey.

Cena and HHH are getting ready in the back.

Candace Michelle vs. Torrie Wilson

This is your Playboy match of the year. Lillian screwing up the hometowns is the most entertaining thing about this match. They’re in their underwear and this is a pillow fight. Torrie coming out to what would become Laycool’s music is rather odd. What do you want here? There’s a bed in the ring, stuff is turned over, Torrie wins after like FOUR MINUTES. Remember that: this got four minutes, the Smackdown World Title got nine.

Rating: F. Were you expecting more here? Next.

Video on the Wrestlemania press conference.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. John Cena

HHH, known as the King of Kings, is in what can best be described as viking attire and rises up out of the stage on a throne. He had Thor’s hammer next to him and a bottle of water in his hand which doesn’t quite fit. Before Cena comes out we get a newsreel about Chicago in the Great Depression. The stage raises up and a car from the 30s drives out, complete with machine gun toting gangsters (one of which was played by future WWE Champion and Cena rival CM Punk who we’ll get back to later).

Cena comes out in a fedora and the shorts shooting a Tommy gun. After the big match intros (the announcer introducing them when they’re in opposite corners) we’re ready to go. HHH grabs a quick hammerlock and takes Cena down to frustrate him a bit. Cena gets caught in a wristlock and sent into the corner again as the fans tell Cena that he sucks. All HHH so far. With nothing else working, Cena tries a quick FU but gets punched in the face. After about four minutes of nothing significant, Cena is thrown to the floor, only to come back in with right hands.

A quick fisherman’s suplex gets two for Cena and it’s off to a chinlock by the champ. The fans tell Cena that he can’t wrestle and HHH fights up. A hard whip sends HHH over the corner and out to the floor but he pokes Cena in the eye to break Cena’s momentum. HHH can’t piledrive Cena on the floor though and gets backdropped onto the steel instead. Back in and HHH hits the jumping knee to the face to a big reaction.

Back to the floor we go and Cena is whipped hard into the steps. They head inside again for a facebuster from the challenger and a big old clothesline for two. A neckbreaker gets the same as the fans alternate between “screw you Cena” and “Cena sucks.” Off to a neck crank by the Game which is transitioned into a sleeper and then a chinlock. The champ shoves him off and hits a clothesline to put both guys down again. Back up and Cena fires off some more clotheslines followed by a powerslam for no cover.

The spinning mat slam puts HHH down but the Game pops up for a spinebuster to block the Shuffle. Back to the sleeper but Cena almost immediately suplexes his way out of it. Now the Shuffle hits and there’s Cena’s new submission hold the STFU. HHH grabs a rope but Cena is in the zone now. The FU is countered but Cena is shoved into the referee.

HHH hits both of them low and gets the sledgehammer which goes upside Cena’s head. Since this is Wrestlemania though it only gets two instead of putting Cena in need of perpetual care. Back up and HHH charges into the FU for two so Cena goes up top. A cross body misses and HHH tries the Pedigree, only to be countered into the STF. With nowhere else to go, HHH taps out and keeps the title on Cena.

Rating: B-. This is one of the recurring problems with HHH matches: when he tries to have a big epic match it rarely works. Cena got a solid rub out of beating him here but at the same time the match wasn’t all that great. It felt like a way to make Cena a big deal rather than have a match between the two of them. It also didn’t help that there was no real issue between the two of them.

A highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is one of the most forgettable Wrestlemanias in history. There’s nothing of note on here, none of the matches are great other than a middle of the show hardcore match which led to some great stuff. Batista being gone hurt this show a lot as Cena wasn’t quite ready to shoulder the weight of Wrestlemania yet. It’s not horrible, but it’s totally forgettable and not required viewing at all.

Ratings Comparison

Big Show/Kane vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

Original: D+

Redo: C

Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Ric Flair vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: B

Redo: B

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Original: A

Redo: A

Boogeyman vs. Booker T/Sharmell

Original: F

Redo: F

Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Original: B

Redo: B-

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Original: D

Redo: D+

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

Original: F

Redo: F

HHH vs. John Cena

Original: A-

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

In the first one I said it wasn’t something I’d want to see again. Apparently that was accurate as the rating PLUNGED on a second viewing.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/29/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-22-i-barely-remember-this-show/

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