Wrestlemania XXI
Date: April 3, 2005
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 20,193
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re at the launch of a new era in WWE as Batista and Cena are ready to take over the company as the next generation of top stars. They’re challenging HHH and JBL tonight in the respective title matches in what really are company altering matches. On top of that we’ve got Angle vs. HBK and the first MITB match, making this a PACKED show. The theme tonight is Wrestlemania Goes Hollywood which means we get some outstanding parody film trailers. Let’s get to it.

Lillian Garcia (looking GREAT in a baby blue outfit which shows off her flat stomach) sings America the Beautiful.

The Wrestlemania 21 logo is revealed.

We get a montage of the trailers (HHH as Braveheart, John Cena/JBL from A Few Good Men, Undertaker as Dirty Harry, Eugene as Forrest Gump and many more. Look these up) set to Behind Those Eyes by 3 Doors Down.

We get the final trailer which is Gladiator with Steve Austin as Russell Crowe.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

They’re tag team champions but fighting to see who is better here as Eddie is getting frustrated by Rey unintentionally showing him up. Rey is in a Mexican/American double flag themed outfit here instead of his usual superhero stuff. Rey immediately starts adjusting his mask which will be a recurring theme tonight. Eddie takes him to the mat with a headlock and Rey is already messing with his mask.

An armdrag puts Mysterio down and Eddie grabs a test of strength grip. Back up and Rey tries a sunset flip, only to be catapulted out to the floor. Eddie slides out but Rey slides back in, only to miss a 619 to the floor. Back in and they grab another strength grip before Eddie flips Rey over. The referee counts and they bridge up at the exact same time in a cool visual.

Rey is backdropped but lands on his feet, only to have to adjust the mask again. Eddie is backdropped now and tweaks his knee in the process. Rey is knocked to the floor though and there’s a plancha by Guerrero to take him out. Back in and Eddie cranks on the arms a bit before suplexing a mask fixing Mysterio down for two. Guerrero hooks a surfboard submission but has to leg it go because his own shoulders were down.

Off to an STF on Rey which shifts into an armbar. Eddie tries a powerbomb but gets armdragged out to the floor instead. A BIG corkscrew dive to the floor keeps Eddie down as does a seated senton back inside. Back up and Eddie tries Three Amigos but gets rolled up for two instead. There’s a backbreaker for two on Rey followed by Three Amigos but Guerrero tries a fourth and is sent into 619 position.

Eddie pops up and hits another backbreaker for two, causing his frustrations to start coming out. Three more Amigos set up the Frog Splash but Rey gets out at the last second. Naturally, Rey adjusts his mask. La Majistral gets two for Mysterio and there’s the 619 to send Eddie sprawling across the ring. The West Coast Pop is countered into a powerbomb for two and Eddie isn’t sure what to do. Instead of following up though, Eddie gets caught in a standing rana for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: C+. This was a disappointment. At the end of the day, these two didn’t live up to the expectations they had set, especially given their masterpieces back in WCW. They never got out of first or even second gear and that really brought things down. The match felt like they were trying to have a masterpiece and they collapsed under the weight. It was ok, but it could and should have been SO much more.

Eddie doesn’t turn on Rey after the match. That would come later.

JBL and Orlando Jordan bump into HHH and Flair. JBL says that he’s never lost the world title like HHH has and HHH is going to add another loss to his total tonight. A showdown is teased but everyone backs down.

Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider are here.

Edge vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Benoit vs. Christian vs. Kane

This is the first ever Money in the Bank ladder match and thankfully there are only six people instead of the eight that we usually get today. In a cool visual, Kane’s fire engulfs a bunch of ladders on the stage before everyone else attacks him to start things off. Kane goes for the ladder but everyone jumps him to stop him from getting any weapons. Benjamin and Benoit hit a double suplex on the Big Bald and there’s the opening bell.

Jericho hits Christian in the face with the first ladder and it’s Jericho vs. Benjamin in the ring. The bulldog takes Shelton down but Jericho has to dropkick Edge and Benoit to the floor. A slingshot plancha takes Edge down again Christian dives on all three other Canadians before Shelton dives onto all four of them. Kane goes up top and takes out a bunch of guys as well before pulling out the first ladder.

Before Kane can climb though he has to knock down everyone else, only to have Jericho dropkick him down. Jericho gets the ladder and crushes various people with it before dropping the ladder onto Edge. Benoit grabs Jericho for a German suplex though to send him flying before Benoit tries to climb up. Kane makes a save but gets caught in the Crossface instead. Now there’s a Crossface to Edge but Kane breaks it up with a ladder shot to Benoit’s chest.

Kane follows that up by crushing Benoit’s arm with the ladder, only to be speared by Edge. Edge and Christian stare at each other before crushing Kane between some ladders. Shelton takes both former partners down with a springboard clothesline before trying the Dragon Whip on Edge but kicking the ladder into Christian instead. Edge whips Shelton into the ladder but the spear hits the ladder instead of Benjamin. A Stinger Splash against the ladder crushes Edge and it’s time for a climb.

It’s Jericho and Benjamin up on the ladder but here are Christian and Benoit on their own ladder. Edge climbs a third ladder before Christian hits a DDT onto Benoit’s arm to pull him down to the mat. Jericho is knocked down as well and Shelton hits the T-Bone Exploder off the ladder to crush Edge yet again.

Now we have two ladders set up, one of which set up like a ramp to reach the standing ladder. Jericho climbs up but Benjamin runs up the ladder ramp and clotheslines Jericho off the top and out to the floor. Shelton climbs up but Christian hits him in the ribs with a ladder to put him down again. Christian’s problem solver Tomko comes in now and sets up a ladder for his employer to send Christian to the top. Kane comes back in and fights both guys off before shoving Christian off the ladder off the ladder and out onto Tomko on the floor.

Jericho and Kane both go up and both crash down almost as fast. With one good arm, Benoit comes back in and tries to load up a ladder, but being the psycho that he is, he hits the Swan Dive on Kane instead of going for the case. Now Benoit goes up and rams his head into Kane to send him down (much scarier now than it used to be) but Edge hits Benoit in the bad arm with a chair and climbs up to become the first Mr. Money in the Bank.

Rating: B+. This was the spiritual successor to TLC and having it be every man for himself made it all the better. It worked very well with six men instead of the eight that it would become, making this one arguably the best overall. Very fun match and the spots were still crisp and fresh. Good stuff here.

Here’s Eugene who is still almost kind of popular at this point. Eugene talks about the midget match from Wrestlemania 3 when the midgets attacked King Kong Bundy because he’s so excited to be here. This brings out Muhammad Hassan and Daivari who don’t like being mistreated by Americans because they’re Arab Americans. Hassan makes fun of Eugene and goes on a rant about being left off of Wrestlemania.

He complains about Hollywood being phony before Daivari yells at Eugene too Hassan decks a still injured Eugene and putting him in a camel clutch. We need a savior here and it’s HULK HOGAN walking down that aisle! The arena, in a word, loses it. Daivari and Hassan jump him but it’s a double noggin knocker for those meanies. Hogan punches Hassan down and chops away before booting him down. Hassan is sent flying and Daivari hits Hogan in the back with a chair. That has absolutely no effect and there’s the big boot for Daivari’s troubles. Hogan stands tall and it’s time to pose. As in for nearly five minutes.

We recap Orton vs. Undertaker. Orton was on fire last year and won the world title before losing to HHH because Orton was on fire on the same show HHH was on. After moving on from the Game, Orton decided to go after the Streak because he’s the Legend Killer. Orton made it clear that he was evil now by acquiring a girlfriend in Stacy Keibler so he could RKO her. That’s about it but do you need more?

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

It’s Wrestlemania so we get druids, chanting and torches for Undertaker’s entrance. This is never not cool. We also get the Burn in My Light theme for Orton from back when Orton looked like a 24 year old and not like he was made out of orange shoe leather. Undertaker is just 12-0 at this point. Feeling out process to start until Orton scores a quick dropkick for two. A single right hand puts Orton down but a quick rollup out of the corner gets two for Randy.

Undertaker throws him into the corner and drops the leg on Orton on the apron for good measure. Old School drops Orton again but Undertaker misses a running boot in the corner, allowing Orton to dropkick him out to the floor. Back in and a clothesline puts Taker down again for two but a running DDT drops Orton for two for the tall guy. Undertaker follows up with some clotheslines in the corner before loading up the snake eyes/big boot combo. Orton blocks the coming boot with an uppercut but he stops to pose, allowing Undertaker to sit up.

They slug it out until Undertaker simply runs Orton over for two. Off to a dragon sleeper by Taker which clearly makes Orton tap but it doesn’t count this early I guess. Orton twists around into a nice DDT for two before we hit the chinlock. Taker fights up so it’s a sleeper instead, only for Taker to counter again with a belly to back suplex. Back up and Orton powerslams Undertaker down for two but he makes the eternal mistake of punching Undertaker in the corner and gets caught in the Last Ride.

Orton escapes though and tries the RKO, only to be shoved off. He grazes the referee on the way to the ropes which apparently passes for a ref bump. The Last Ride is countered again and here’s Randy’s dad Bob with the cast (that’s a VERY slow healing injury as it’s at about 23 years now) to give Orton a VERY close two. In one of my favorite counters ever, Taker loads up the chokeslam but Orton counters in mid air into the RKO for two. Like any good lunkhead, Orton loads up the Tombstone but gets countered into the real thing to make Taker 13-0.

Rating: C+. While not great, Orton was trying out there. The problem was that Orton had been crushed so badly by HHH that there was no reason to buy him as a threat here. I won’t say didn’t even have to break a sweat here but other than that RKO counter and MAYBE the cast shot, Undertaker was never in any danger or even extended trouble.

We recap Trish vs. Christy Hemme. Christy looked amazing in Playboy and Trish got jealous because she was Women’s Champion but couldn’t get any respect. Hemme, who wasn’t a wrestler, challenged Trish to a title match. Lita was coaching Hemme to try to make this interesting but it never worked at all.

Women’s Title: Christy Hemme vs. Trish Stratus

Trish immediately takes it to the floor and sends Christy knees first into the steps. Did I mention this is Christy’s singles debut? Christy comes back with some kicks that look amateur at best. Stratus comes back with some chops in the corner but gets caught in a sunset flip for two. Trish hits a hard kick to Christy’s ribs and shoves the injured Lita into the barricade. Christy fires off more kicks and hits a reverse Twist of Fate for two. Trish has enough of this and Chick Kicks Hemme down to retain.

Rating: F. This is where you can tell that the Playboy push was a terrible idea. At the end of the day, Hemme was a model, not a wrestler. If they want to hire models, then either teach them for a long time or don’t have them wrestle, because this kind of stuff is embarrassing. I’m not saying Hemme wasn’t trying or anything like that, but she simply didn’t have the talent to be here. Trish would hold the title until next Wrestlemania.

We recap Shawn s. Angle which I think is going to be better. They put each other out of the Rumble but Angle snapped because when he won a gold medal, everyone kept talking about how awesome Shawn Michaels was and now fifteen years later, Angle wants to get Shawn back for it. Shawn says Angle is great, but this is Wrestlemania and therefore Shawn’s world.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle

This was when Angle was the wrestling machine so this should be awesome. Kurt takes in the YOU SUCK chants because that’s how awesome he is. I should mention the set as it has the Hollywood sign on one side and a movie marquee on the other side which says Now Playing and then the match, making it feel all the more special. They stare it down to start until Shawn slaps him in the face.

Angle takes it to the mat and rides Shawn to frustrate him. Shawn gets to a rope and gives Kurt a look like “o………..k then time for a new plan.” Michaels grabs a headlock takeover to slow things down but the fans are behind Kurt. Kurt fights up but can’t escape the hold without using the ropes. Nice storytelling there with Shawn gladly going to the ropes but Angle going to them out of frustration.

Off to a short arm scissors by Shawn for a bit but Angle uses raw power to lift Shawn up into the air. However, since Shawn had that move used on him back in 1992 by British Bulldog, he knows how to roll through into a sunset flip for two. See, THAT is how you play to older fans with some awesome psychology. Back to the headlock as Angle is getting frustrated by Michaels dominating the mat.

Angle takes it into the corner to brawl with Shawn but Shawn ties him up instead. This is also a callback to Wrestlemania XII where Shawn used the exact same strategy on Bret. Angle grabs a quick ankle lock but Shawn rolls through and a Cactus Clothesline puts them both on the floor. Angle loads up the announce table but opts to pick up Shawn in the Angle Slam and ram Shawn back first into the post to take over again.

Back in and Angle gets two off a suplex before putting on a body vice with a chinlock. The fans are split here but Shawn fights up with some chops to take over. Kurt will have none of that though and suplexes Shawn down to stop the comeback bid. Another belly to belly gets two and it’s off to a chinlock with a knee in Shawn’s back. Michaels gets up again and they slug it out with Angle taking Shawn down with a hard clothesline.

Shawn blocks a superplex attempt but Kurt rolls away from the top rope elbow. There go Angle’s straps but Shawn counters the Angle Slam and backdrops Kurt to the floor. Shawn goes up and half dives/half falls onto Angle with a cross body. As they get back in, Angle tries his German suplex off the apron but Shawn kicks him low like a good former villain. With Angle on the announce table, Shawn hits a gorgeous springboard spinning cross body to send Angle onto the floor as the table doesn’t break.

Both guys make it in on different sides of the ring at nine. Angle is bleeding from the mouth. They slug it out again with Shawn taking over. There’s the forearm and nip-up as Shawn’s back is perfectly fine all of a sudden. Now the big elbow hits but the superkick is countered into the ankle lock but Shawn FINALLY makes the rope. The Angle Slam is rolled through but Angle counters into the ankle lock but Shawn counters into a rollup for two. Another superkick is caught and there’s the Angle Slam for two.

To show how angry Kurt is, he puts his straps up just so he can take them down all over again. In a scary spot, Angle tries the moonsault but Shawn doesn’t roll away far enough, sending Angle’s face into Shawn’s side. Shawn goes up again but Angle runs up the corner for the belly to belly off the top. Somehow that only gets two and Angle yells at Shawn, talking about how Michaels’ days are done. Shawn shoves him back and superkicks Angle down but he can’t follow up.

The cover eventually gets two and Shawn isn’t sure what to do now. He slowly stands up but Angle grabs the ankle lock again. Shawn tries to kick Angle off but Kurt won’t let go. They’re in the middle of the ring with Shawn writhing in pain. Angle puts on the grapevine and Shawn is all but dead. He hangs on for as long as he can before FINALLY tapping out to give Angle the win.

Rating: A+. Angle and Shawn at Wrestlemania having a masterpiece. Who would have ever seen that coming? The match was excellent all around and the match never stopped being great. They would have another masterpiece at Summerslam which again shouldn’t surprise anyone. Great match here and definitely worth seeing if you haven’t before.

Shawn gets the big ovation post match.

We get the Basic Instinct trailer which is Stacy Keibler flashing Jericho, Benoit and Christian while implying she and Trish are lesbians.

Moolah and Mae Young are here.

It’s time for Piper’s Pit with newly inducted Hall of Famer Roddy Piper. Apparently his guest is Steve Austin but it takes Piper forever to get to the entrance. Piper is pretty much rambling here as is his custom most of the time. Oh wait Piper says that he’s the toughest guy around here rather than Austin. Here’s the Rattlesnake for his annual cameo. They slap each other as this is supposed to be some epic encounter I think. Piper gets annoyed at the WHAT chants but gets into the concept pretty quickly.

This goes on WAY too long as Piper says that he’s the real rebel instead of Austin. Austin makes fun of the way Piper looks and asks if he’s supposed to be scared or intimidated. Piper says they’re failing to communicate and here’s Carlito of all people. Piper thinks Carlito looks like Alfalfa and insults are traded. Carlito has his own apple spat in his face by Roddy so Piper is beaten down. Austin beats up Carlito, beer is consumed and Austin Stuns both guys. This went on WAY too long and was more awkward than anything else.

We get the Taxi Driver trailer which is most of the roster trying to do “You talking to me?” with very mixed results. Batista does a Who’s On First bit as he asks for his line and the script guy keeps saying “You talking to me?” constantly frustrating Big Dave. Good stuff.

Akebono vs. Big Show

Time for our “celebrity” match of the year. Akebono, a grand sumo champion, is going to face Big Show in a sumo match. There’s a circle in the ring (that’s kind of overkill) and you have to knock the other guy out of it or off his feet to win. Show of course is in the sumo thong because what else would you expect from him?

The big idea here is that Akebono is outweighed for the first time ever. They spend way too long setting this up before the whole match lasts like a minute with Akebono throwing Show out of the circle. Seriously, that’s it. Total waste of time here. Yes, a legit sumo grand champion beat a guy with no idea what he was doing.

We recap Cena vs. JBL which is a culture clash. The idea is simple: Cena is the new young guy who is popular with the fans while JBL is old, rich and reserved. JBL has held the title forever and someone has to stop him eventually. Cena has been at war with JBL and his Cabinet as well so it’s basically 4-1 tonight. JBL has spent months insulting Cena’s life and family because Cena can’t touch him without losing his title shot. JBL couldn’t touch him either or he would lose the title, so Cena spraypainted a lot of JBL’s stuff.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL gets a police escort for his limo as JBL dollars fall from the sky. Surprisingly enough the champ sends Orlando Jordan and the Bashams to the back before the match. This is one of the rare instances where “My Time Is Now” is very appropriate. It’s a feeling out process to start but Cena runs into a boot in the corner. The champion starts pounding away in the corner and there’s the fallaway slam for good measure.

JBL chokes away on the ropes as this is in very slow mode to start. They slug it out for a bit but Cena charges into a spinebuster to put him down again. A neckbreaker gets two for the champion and a big clothesline gets two on Cena. JBL puts on a sleeper but Cena counters into a belly to back suplex to put both guys down. A double clothesline puts both guys down and we head to the floor for a neckbreaker by the champion.

Back in and JBL puts Cena down with a superplex for a delayed two as the crowd is mostly dead. Layfield goes up but dives into a powerslam for no cover. Cena comes back with his usual stuff including the Shuffle. Cena pumps up his shoes and after ducking the Clothesline, the FU (now called the AA) gives Cena his first of many world titles.

Rating: D. This was a REALLY dull match as JBL was freaking terrible in the ring at this point. He was so slow and lethargic and the match never worked at all. The ending sucked too as JBL didn’t even hit his finisher before taking the FU for the pin. Their rematch at Judgment Day was WAY better as it was a total brawl which suited JBL to perfection.

We do the Hall of Fame stuff. The class is introduced and Orndorff is far more impressed with Miss Jackie than anything else. The class this year is Volkoff, Iron Sheik, Orndorff, Bob Orton, Jimmy Hart, Piper and Hogan. Guess who gets the biggest reaction by far.

Wrestlemania 22 is in Chicago.

We recap the main event. HHH was world champion for the better part of ever in Evolution but Batista was becoming the big star. In January Batista won the Royal Rumble and got to pick HHH or JBL to challenge at Wrestlemania. Batista overheard HHH and Flair calling Batista stupid and HHH’s days were numbered.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. HHH

Since this is HHH, he gets the big entrance with Motorhead before Batista comes out, meaning Batista gets a much weaker entrance. Little things like that are why people can’t stand the guy. The singer for Motorhead BUTCHERS the song, but then again it isn’t likely one he sings that often. Oh and HHH rises through the stage with the band and gets to pose with them before Batista just walks out. For a big old school fan like HHH, it’s pretty interesting that he comes out first like that, no? Batista also doesn’t have pyro yet so he looks like he’s having a seizure on the stage. No I Walk Alone yet either.

They lock up to start with HHH shoving him against the ropes. The locking up continues with Batista not being able to shove HHH down like a power guy should be doing. A shoulder block puts HHH down but HHH gets to run Batista over this time. You know, so it’s clear that HHH is every bit as strong. A Pedigree is countered and Batista powerslams the champion down. Big Dave hits some shots to the face in the corner followed by a backdrop. Dang they’re really cranking this up now.

HHH hits the jumping knee to the face to send Batista back to the floor. Yet again, Batista can’t get anything going at all. Batista gets distracted by Flair and is sent into the steps by the champ. Back in and HHH drops an elbow on Batista’s back to keep control as this has been mostly one sided so far. Flair gets in some choking and HHH drops more elbows on the back. A suplex puts Batista down for two as this is already going slowly. Flair chokes away even more before HHH guillotines Batista out to the floor.

We get the “deliberate pace” line from JR which means “dear freaking goodness DO SOMETHING ALREADY!”. Batista hits some right hands to wake the crowd up a bit but there’s the HHH spinebuster to make sure HHH doesn’t look bad at all. The Pedigree is countered with a backdrop but there’s the facebuster to stop Batista again. We’re eleven minutes into this match and it’s ALL HHH so far. The Game goes up but jumps into a clothesline followed by a side slam for two.

The fans don’t get fired up of course though and they have no reason to. Batista’s offense has been stopped cold every time and there it is again as he charges into a boot in the corner. Batista throws him to the floor but YET AGAIN HHH stops him by sending him into the steps. The Pedigree on the steps is countered into a catapult into the post to bust the champion open. Back in and Batista pounds on the cut before clotheslining him in the corner.

The pace is still REALLY slow again because Heaven forbid we get an exciting main event. They head to the floor again where Batista lays out Flair as the referee disarms HHH with a chair. The referee goes down so here’s Flair for interference. HHH gets in a belt shot for two and the fans FINALLY wake up a bit. The spinebuster puts HHH down but the momentum is broken up AGAIN with a low blow. The Pedigree is blocked though and it’s something that we would call White Noise and Batista Bomb to give Batista the title.

Rating: C-. Oh dear. This wasn’t about Batista winning the title but rather about HHH losing it. Instead of looking dominant, Batista looked like a guy who survived against HHH, which is one of the last things you want to do to make a new star. Just WAY too much HHH on offense here and it brought the match way down, especially for a match that was supposed to be Batista’s coming out party.

Batista celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. There’s some really lame stuff here but the historical significance of the main events more than make up for their lackluster in ring material. The MITB match and Angle vs. Shawn are more than worth seeing and Orton vs. Undertaker isn’t bad. Most of the matches here fall under not bad and the show is a letdown as a result. Still though, it’s good stuff, but it could have been legendary.

Ratings Comparison

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Edge vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Benoit vs. Christian vs. Kane

Original: A

Redo: B+

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Trish Stratus vs. Christy Hemme

Original: F+

Redo: F

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Akebono vs. Big Show

Original: F

Redo: N/A

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena

Original: D

Redo: D

HHH vs. Batista

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Just about everything was a step lower this time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/29/history-of-wrestlemania-wrestlemania-21-best-ad-campaign-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Wrestlemania XIX
Date: March 30, 2003
Location: Safeco Field, Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 54,097
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We’re into the brand split now, which means there are two world titles to deal with. On this show however there are two other matches which could easily be considered the main event. This show is considered one of the best Wrestlemanias of all time but I’ve never been the biggest fan of it due to reasons I’ll list later on. My opinion has been changed before though so let’s get to it.

The opening video is about what Wrestlemania means to everyone. This is the theme they went with last year and it works here like it did last year. Interestingly enough most of these highlights are from Wrestlemania X7 instead of last year’s show.

The theme song is called Crack Addict. Needless to say this was never mentioned on TV.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Matt Hardy

Matt is defending and this is during his Matt Hardy Version 1 period. In other words, he was completely self obsessed and had factoids popping up on screen during his entrance (Matt is appearing in his 4^th Wrestlemania, Matt often wonders how they did Wrestlemania without him, Matt strongly dislikes mustard etc). He also has Shannon Moore as his Mattitude Follower (MF’er). Matt tries to speed things up to start but Rey backdrops him to the apron and adds a fast headscissors to take over. Oh and Rey is starting the “dress up like a superhero at Wrestlemania” thing here by wearing a Daredevil themed mask.

Rey loads up a sunset bomb to the floor but Moore makes another save. The champion takes over with a shot to the ribs for two back inside before hitting a Ricochet (kind of side slam) for two. Rey jumps into a kick to the ribs but still counters the Twist of Fate into a rollup for two. The Side Effect gets two for the champion and it’s off to a bow and arrow hold.

That doesn’t last long so Matt tries a shoulder into the corner, only to go shoulder first into the post. Rey hits a springboard seated senton and a tornado DDT for two each but Moore breaks up the 619. Twist of Fate gets two and Hardy is getting frustrated. Matt loads up a superplex but gets countered into a rana out of the corner for two. Moore tries to interfere again but Hardy is rammed into him instead, allowing Rey to hit the 619. The West Coast Pop is ducked though and Matt rolls him up with a handful of ropes to retain.

Rating: C+. This felt like it ended out of nowhere which isn’t the right way to end a match like this. Mysterio was brand new and WAY over at this point, so not giving him the title here was kind of a headscratching move. Rey would win the title from Hardy, although it wouldn’t be for another three months. The match itself was still pretty solid stuff though with both guys moving all over the place and Matt using enough power moves to counter Rey while still being fast enough to be a cruiserweight if that makes sense.

The Miller Lite Catfight Girls are here. This would be your celebrity involvement for the year. They were from a series of beer commercials and would argue over various stupid things, in this case which match is bigger: Vince vs. Hogan or Rock vs. Austin III.

We recap Undertaker’s partner for later tonight, Nathan Jones, being laid out by A-Train and Big Show earlier tonight.

Limp Bizkit plays Undertaker to the ring and no one cares. By plays to the ring I mean performs the song until Taker finally comes out.

Undertaker vs. A-Train/Big Show

Taker avoids a sneak attack to start and hits a quick chokeslam on A-Train for two. Big Show pulls him to the floor though and will be starting it seems. Taker has to fight out of the wrong corner and it’s quickly off to A-Train. The dead man busts out a LEAPFROG of all things before taking A-Train down with a back elbow. Old School hits but Taker has to punch Big Show instead of covering.

The Derailer (chokebomb) puts Taker down and Big Show rams him into the post for good measure. Back in and A-Train hits a slingshot into the middle rope for two. Big Show comes in again and all Taker can do is throw desperate right hands. A Big Show chokeslam is countered into a Fujiwara Armbar of all things but A-Train comes in to break it up. Taker throws him in a cross armbreaker but Big Show legdrops him to take control.

Off to an abdominal stretch by Big Show to slow things down a bit. A-Train adds in some cheating before coming in for an abdominal stretch of his own. Now Taker counters into one of his own to complete the set (You can own them all!), only to have A-Train hip toss his way out of it. A-Train clotheslines him down and talks some LOUD trash before Taker comes back with right hands. A running DDT gets two for Taker but it’s back to Big Show.

Taker is like screw this defense stuff and pounds away on Big Show in the corner before running across the ring over and over for clotheslines to both guys. The jumping clothesline puts Show down but a bicycle kick from A-Train puts him down all over again. There’s a Big Show chokeslam but here’s Nathan Jones in the aisle to knock out Big Show with a spin kick. Jones come in and kicks A-Train down, setting up the Tombstone to continue the Streak.

Rating: C. Another not bad match here with Taker doing what he could with two guys this size. It was kind of slow, but there’s only so much you can do with this kind of a clash of styles and no partner for the Dead Man. While definitely not memorable or anything, it did well enough at what it was supposed to do, bad musical number aside.

Undertaker waves an American flag post match to show how awesome he is.

The Catfight Girls run into Stacy Keibler and Torrie in the back with talk of a new marketing campaign. Next.

We recap the Heat match where the Dudleys cost RVD and Kane the tag titles for no apparent reason. This won’t be mentioned again tonight.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz vs. Victoria

Victoria is defending and is still psycho here. She’s also Tara for you TNA fans. Jazz hits a quick dropkick for two on Trish before Victoria can even get to the ring. Off to what we would call a Last Chancery to the Canadian after the champion is knocked to the floor. Everyone winds up outside with the champion taking over. She sends Trish back inside for a slingshot legdrop, getting two. Jazz and Victoria square off now before turning their attentions back to Stratus for some double teaming.

That goes nowhere though as it’s time for the villains to fight again with Jazz getting two off a powerslam. Trish comes back with a rollup on Victoria for two but she clotheslines Trish down for two as a result. Jerry: “Trish is like a quarter among pennies in there.” JR: “…..what?” Jazz hits a sitout powerslam for two on Stratus before arguing with Victoria even more. A spin kick by Jazz hits Victoria by mistake and allows Trish to roll her up for two. The Chick Kick puts Jazz down and the Stratusphere does the same to Victoria.

The champion is knocked to the floor as Jazz puts Trish in a half crab which is transitioned into an STF. Victoria’s boyfriend/manager Steven Richards comes in to send Jazz to the floor, allowing the other two to trade rollups for two each. Jazz comes back in and lifts Trish up for a double chickenwing before dropping her down on her uh…face. Yeah face. Victoria kicks Jazz down but misses a moonsault, knocking herself to the floor. Richards comes in and hits himself with a chair. As he goes to the floor, Trish hits the Chick Kick on Victoria for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Not bad again here and one of the better women’s matches I’ve seen in a long time. There wasn’t much of a story being told here but at the same time, they looked like they knew what they were doing and never looked lost, which puts them miles ahead of anything in the last three years of Divas matches.

Hollywood Rock doesn’t want to hear about the People because they booed him last year. Rock is indeed a sellout because he sells out every Wrestlemania he’s been at. Tonight he doesn’t care about the people because tonight is about fulfilling his destiny by beating Austin at Wrestlemania once and for all. He talks about everyone remembering Act III and they’ll remember it tonight when Rock beats Austin in their final encounter at Wrestlemania. Not his best work here.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Chris Benoit/Rhyno vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Haas and Benjamin are defending here. This is Benoit’s reward for having the match of the year against Angle two months earlier, followed by a feud with the freaking FBI while Kevin Nash got world title shots on PPV. I’m sure HHH has NOTHING to do with this right? It’s a big brawl to start until we get down to Benoit vs. Guerrero for a chop off. They collide in the middle of the ring with both guys going down. Rhyno comes in to face Eddie and gets two off a powerslam.

Off to Shelton who pounds Rhyno down before hitting an elbow to the face for two. Off to Haas for a double tag team by the champions on Rhyno. Rhyno throws Haas around with ease and it’s off to Benoit for more chops in the corner. A snap suplex gets two as does its belly to back cousin. Back to Rhyno vs. Benjamin as the announcers talk about Haas and Benjamin having stage fright.

Eddie comes in and dropkicks Rhyno down before it’s back to Benoit for more chopping on his fellow dead guy. Eddie snapmares him down and loads up the Frog Splash, only to have Benoit run over to the corner for some crotching and a superplex. Guerrero comes right back with a brainbuster for two as Haas breaks up the cover again. Off to Chavo who fires off some fast clotheslines to the champions, only to get caught in Rolling Germans by Benoit.

Benjamin comes in off a blind tag and superkicks Chris down for two. Eddie tags himself in and collides with Benoit to put both guys down. Shelton comes in to work on Benoit some more and a legdrop gets two. Eddie breaks it up with a Frog Splash but Chavo tags himself in, only to be suplexed down by Haas. Rhyno comes in for some Gores including one to Chavo, but Benjamin comes in (I have no idea if he was legal) and steals the retaining pin on Chavo.

Rating: C. The match was fine but it had no business being on Wrestlemania. This could have been on any given episode of Smackdown and no one would have noticed the difference. Rhyno and Benoit were just thrown together while the Guerreros were a regular team and former champions. Not bad here but not Wrestlemania worthy.

The Catfight Girls and Stacy/Torrie now argue over who made Wrestlemania. This is so stupid. They’re going to settle the argument in bed. Oh dear. One of the girls keeps saying Hulk “Holgan”.

Right here is where things start to become problematic. There are five matches left on the card and any one of them could be a PPV main event on a major show. The problem is there’s nothing but that left and we’re only an hour into the show.

We recap Shawn vs. Jericho. Shawn returned last year and won the world title in a shocker. The two of them started feuding right before the Rumble where they eliminated each other. Jericho wanted to be a wrestler because he wanted to be Shawn Michaels. People started calling him the next HBK, but he wanted to be the first Chris Jericho. Jericho then went insane with the jealousy and obsession with being the best by destroying Shawn with a chair. One night when Jericho was walking through the entrance, Shawn superkicked him and said he would see Jericho at Wrestlemania.

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

As Shawn comes to the ring he fires off a bunch of confetti canons but some of them don’t work. Shawn’s “what are you gonna do” look is funny. Lockup to start with Shawn taking over via an armdrag. Jericho escapes the armbar attempt so Shawn lounges on the top rope to rub it in. Off to a hammerlock by the Texan and we get a nice technical sequence with the two mirroring each other very nicely. Shawn hooks a headlock takeover for some token two counts as things are still in first gear.

Back up and Jericho avoids a leapfrog and slaps Shawn in the face. Shawn slaps him right back and avoids a charge, sending Jericho out to the floor. A baseball slide keeps Jericho in trouble but back inside he rolls through a top rope cross body for two. Jericho hits a spinwheel kick to put Shawn down again before sending him into the buckle. Shawn blocks the bulldog though and crotches Jericho in the corner. At least Fozzy will have some higher pitched songs now.

Shawn puts on a Figure Four of all things but Jericho quickly rolls it over. Another attempt at the hold is countered and Jericho sends Shawn shoulder first into the post. Jericho tries to throw him to the floor but Shawn skins the cat into a headscissors to bring Jericho outside with him, followed by a sweet plancha to take Chris down again. Shawn tries a dropkick on the floor, only to be caught in the Walls of Jericho.

The American’s back is all messed up again now and Jericho rams him back first into the post a few times for good measure. As Shawn tries to get back in Jericho hits that sweet springboard dropkick of his and nails Shawn right in the face. A pair of suplexes get two for Jericho back inside and there’s a backbreaker for good measure. Off to a chinlock with a knee in Shawn’s back to give them a breather.

Shawn fights up and counters a backdrop into a DDT to put both guys down. Jericho still gets up first anyway and hits Shawn’s forearm and nipup combo for good measure. Shawn nips up as well and starts slugging away before hitting a backdrop to put Jericho down. The moonsault press out of the corner gets two and they trade pinfall attempt at a very fast pace, resulting in Shawn rolling out of the Walls. Gee his back seems fine all of a sudden.

Jericho hits a northern lights suplex for two but Shawn bridges up into a backslide attempt, only to have Chris knock him down. There’s the bulldog put Shawn down but the Lionsault only gets two. Shawn tries a standing rana but gets countered into the Walls as Jericho to put Michaels in BIG trouble. Ok maybe bot so big as he makes the rope a few seconds alter. Shawn grabs a quick small package for two but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to put him back down.

Jericho loads up Sweet Chin Music for the final insult and it hits just about perfectly. That only gets two as does a cross body by Shawn. Shawn keeps the thunder stealing theme going by trying the Walls on Jericho but has to opt for a catapult into the corner instead. Jericho comes back with a belly to back superplex attempt but Shawn counters in mid air into a cross body for two.

Michaels goes up again but Jericho kicks the referee into the ropes to crotch Shawn down on the top. Jericho tries a superplex but gets shoved down and hit with the top rope elbow for two. Shawn loads up the Superkick but gets caught in the Walls again. Jericho drags him back to the middle of the ring but Shawn makes it on the second attempt.

A boot to the faces gets two for Shawn as the fans are WAY into this now. Back up and Jericho whips him hard into the corner for a Flair Flip to mess with the back even more. Chris tries a belly to back suplex but Shawn flips over and jumps up into a rolling cradle for the pin out of nowhere on Jericho.

Rating: A-. What did you expect off a match like this? They beat the heck out of each other here, although Shawn’s eternally on and off selling was a bit distracting. They did a great job of telling the back and forth story though, and that’s what the whole point here was. It’s also a loss that doesn’t hurt the loser which is always a good thing.

Post match Jericho kicks Shawn low like a real heel.

Sylvan Grenier, a crooked referee, goes in to see Vince.

We get the new attendance record announcement.

Limp Bizkit performs Crack Addict live. Again, not the best use of PPV time to say the least.

It’s time for the Catfight nonsense. The Girls are brought out as are Stacy and Torrie, all of whom sit on a bed for effect. This is exactly what you would expect: clothes being ripped off, spanking, Coach being stripped down. You know the drill.

We recap Booker T. vs. HHH which is borderline uncomfortable. Booker talked about being an ex-con and making his way up to where he is now. HHH started saying “someone like you shouldn’t be world champion”, which very quickly came to have extremely racial overtones. Booker won a battle royal for the shot and pinned HHH in a tag match leading up to this.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Booker T

HHH is in his manly purple trunks here. They fight into the corner to start with Booker smacking HHH in the face a few times to take over. A backdrop puts HHH down but he comes back with a clothesline. The champion goes up top but just like his mentor, he gets armdragged down with ease. A clothesline puts HHH down for two but Booker goes up and gets knocked down to the floor for his efforts.

Booker gets sent into the announce table as the referee tells HHH to get back in, complete with some very salty language from the referee. Lawler keeps making jokes about Booker being an ex-con as HHH gets two off a neckbreaker. Booker tries to fight back with right hands but gets caught in a spinebuster for two for the champion. A suplex is escaped though and Booker DDTs him down for no cover.

Booker pounds away on HHH before taking him down with a forearm. A spinning variety of said forearm gets two but HHH comes back with his lame sleeper, which was the move he was trying to get over at this point to no avail. The facebuster staggers Booker but he comes back with a quick spinebuster for two. HHH tries going up again but jumps into a jumping superkick for two.

The Harlem Side Kick misses HHH and Booker crashes out to the floor. Flair gets in some shots before sending Booker back in for a freaking Indian Deathlock as we continue the trip back to 1974. Since the hold goes on forever and I have a chance to look at it, the question occurs to me of why does that hold hurt? Their legs are in the exact same positions, so why would it only hurt Booker?

Anyway Booker gets to the rope for the break and we get to the work over the leg to set up the Figure Four because we need to pay tribute to Flair every 18 seconds portion of the match. A rollup out of nowhere gets two for Booker and he counters the Pedigree, only to be kicked into the referee in the corner. Not that it matters as the referee counts a quick two off a rollup anyway.

A big back elbow puts HHH down and the scissors kick looks to finish but Booker can’t cover. The delayed cover gets two and Booker goes up top. He has to knock Flair down, allowing HHH to load up a superplex. That gets broken up too though and it’s the Harlem Hangover (flip legdrop) for a very close two thanks to Flair. Not that it matters though as HHH kicks him in the leg, hits the Pedigree, covers 30 seconds later and retains the title.

Rating: C+. The match wasn’t horrible but TOTALLY the wrong booking here. There was zero reason to have HHH go over here other than he wanted to. Booker had been built up perfectly over the last few weeks and every sign pointed to him winning here, but instead HHH absolutely has to go over to set up that EPIC Kevin Nash feud in a few months.

Wrestlemania 20 is in Madison Square Garden.

We recap Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon. This feud was A MESS as all of a sudden Hogan came back and Vince decided he hated him so they should fight. The problem is Vince never quite made his reasons for suddenly hating Hogan clear other than Vince was nuts. This led to a debate about which of them made Wrestlemania and saying the match was 20 years in the making. Not exactly but when nothing else in the feud makes sense, why should this?

Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon

This is a street fight because that’s how Vince rolls and if Hogan loses he has to retire. Hogan pounds away to start before pounding away on the mat. Vince is knocked down into the corner and stomped down for good measure but he gets in a thumb to the eye to give himself a breather. A clothesline takes Hogan down and Vince Pounds away in the corner. He drops some knees into Hogan’s shoulder as we actually get an attempt at psychology here. Seriously, why?

Vince wraps the arm around the post before hooking a test of strength grip with Hulk in trouble. Hogan tries to fight up but gets kicked right back down. That works so well that they do it again before Vince throws Hogan out to the floor. With Hogan in trouble Vince picks up a chair but the swing only hits post. Hogan pounds him down and hits a chair shot to Vince’s head for good measure, busting Vince open.

They head back in, only for Hogan to punch him out to the floor. Another chair shot to the back puts Vince down as does a third. Hogan swings again but knocks out the Spanish announcer by mistake. Vince hits Hogan in his Real American testicles as the slow brawling continues. A chair shot puts Hogan down and Vince pulls out a ladder, making me think this ends badly.

Hulk is busted open too as Vince lays him onto the announce table. In the big spot of the match, Vince climbs the ladder and drops a “leg” through Hogan and through the table. Hogan is thrown back in as Vince gets a lead pipe. He looks up from under the ring apron and has a hilariously evil grin on his face. Vince loads up a pipe shot but Hogan hits him low. Cue RODDY PIPER of all people to blast Hogan in the head with the pipe. This surprises Cole and Tazz because….they’re not that bright. Seriously, Piper and Hogan HATED each other and they’re surprised he attacked Hogan? Why?

Piper leaves and Vince gets two off the pipe shot. This match needs to end like NOW as it’s well past the point of entertaining and is reaching stupid. Vince goes for the pipe but is stopped by the referee, causing the referee to go flying out to the floor. The EVIL French referee from earlier today comes out as Hulk is hit with another pipe shot and a Vince legdrop for two. It’s Hulk Up time though and he lays out both Vince and the crooked referee before hitting the big boot and THREE legdrops to kill Vince dead for the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t the worst match in the world but going twenty minutes completely misses the idea of something like this. Again I’m not sure what this accomplishes other than setting up Hogan vs. Piper in a feud that didn’t exactly light the world on fire in 2013. Fun but pretty awful match here.

Shane McMahon comes out to check on his father post match. He glares at Hogan but nothing happens. Ok then. Ever the jerk, the bloody Vince flips off Hogan to end things.

We recap Rock vs. Austin III. Austin came back from walking out on the company due to boredom and the newly heel Hollywood Rock wanted to finally beat Austin at Wrestlemania. Do you need much else of a story beyond that?

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Austin pounds away to start but can’t hook an early Stunner. Rock bails to the floor but gets clotheslined down in the aisle. Austin rams him into the steps and chops away before dropping him onto the barricade a few times. Rock is whipped HARD into the steps before they head back inside. A big clothesline puts Rock down but he takes out Austin’s bad knee to send Steve to the floor.

Rock stomps away on the knee as Austin stumbles around ringside. The leg is wrapped around the post but Austin pops up with more right hands. Rock kicks the leg out again and puts on the Sharpshooter, only to have Austin crawl to the rope. JR goes on a big rant against Lawler about how this is a wrestling match and not about puppies or Hollywood. Rock wraps the leg around the post a few more times before heading outside and putting on Austin’s vest.

Austin comes back with a clothesline and the Thesz Press to pound away on Rock. The middle finger elbow keeps Rock down again and it’s time to stomp a mudhole, but Rock comes back with right hands. Austin counters with a Rock Bottom of his own for a very close two. Rock fights up and hits a Stunner of his own out of nowhere for two more. Back up again and Rock pounds away, only to walk into the real Stunner for another close two.

Austin goes to pick Rock up but the guy with Austin’s vest on hits him low to break it up. The People’s Elbow misses but the Stunner is countered into a spinebuster, followed by the removal of the vest and the Elbow for two. A Rock Bottom gets two on Austin, another Rock Bottom gets two but a BIG Rock Bottom is finally enough to end Austin.

Rating: B+. It’s definitely a step or three below the one from two years ago but it’s definitely still entertaining. My problem with it as usual though is that it doesn’t have anything on it. When you have two huge matches between the two before when they were on top and now you get them both well past their primes for nothing but pride, it’s a bit harder to get into it. Still very good, but not as great as their others.

Austin salutes the crowd for the final time as he leaves. As of this 2013, this is Austin’s final match.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle for the main event. The idea is simple: Angle is an awesome wrestler, Lesnar thinks he’s better. Brock won the Rumble to get the shot and tonight is a mega showdown. At this point though, Angle’s neck is basically hanging on by a thread.

There was a very real chance he would have to retire before the match, but he begged and pleaded to be allowed to have this match, which most people believed would be his last. There was a match in Pittsburgh on Smackdown where Lesnar beat Angle, but it wound up being his very similar brother Eric. This match was originally going to be the title change because Kurt couldn’t go at Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle

If Angle is disqualified or counted out or if anyone interferes, he loses the title. Lesnar has slightly injured ribs and Cole’s voice is almost gone. Brock sends him into the corner to start but Kurt takes him down to the mat with a front facelock. They fight over an armbar with neither guy being able to get extended control. Now it’s a fight over a headlock as the fast paced mat work continues.

Lesnar rolls Angle off and it’s a standoff. Brock takes him down with an armdrag into an armbar but Kurt grabs a rope. He pounds away at Brock’s back but Lesnar fires off some shoulders into Angle’s ribs in the corner. A powerslam puts Angle down for two but Angle comes right back with a German suplex. After Brock hits a fast gorilla press, Angle hits another German to send Brock’s ribs into the buckle.

Angle goes after the ribs like a barracuda, stomping away in the corner before hooking a chinlock with a bodyscissors. He shifts it into a kind of crossface grip before into a chinlock. A knee to Brock’s back sends him out to the floor but as they come back inside, Brock plants him down with a spinebuster. Lesnar fires off some clotheslines and shoulders in the corner, only to charge into an elbow. Brock is fine with that by snapping off an overhead belly to belly and another one for two.

Kurt comes back with Rolling Germans and Brock is spent. Angle’s neck is bothering him though and you can see his eyes not looking right. The Angle Slam is countered into an F5 attempt but Angle reverses that into the ankle lock. Brock gets the rope but Angle pulls him back without the hold being broken. For some reason that’s ok with the referee and Kurt switches it up to a half crab. Brock finally kicks Angle away and launches him out to the floor.

The champ hits a SWEET release German on Brock for two and the Angle Slam gets the same. Lesnar comes back with the Angle Slam for two of his own as the fans are getting way into this now. Back to the ankle lock by Kurt and he hooks the grapevine for good measure. Brock somehow makes it to the rope, which I believe is the only time anyone has escaped the grapevine version of the ankle lock.

F5 is countered into a small package but the Angle Slam is countered into another F5 which connects for no cover. Instead Brock goes to the top rope for the famous spot of the match, as he completely botches a Shooting Star Press, landing square on his head. With Lesnar’s brains somewhere in Bermuda, Angle covers for two. Lesnar stands up, hits another F5, and wins the title before heading off for medical attention. The gone look on Brock’s face is terrifying.

Rating: B+. It’s another very good match, but it’s still not a masterpiece. The botch is the main thing that people remember but the match is still very good for the most part. Angle competing in this condition was freaking STUPID at the end of the day and it’s no wonder that he’s basically insane now. Very good match though and a good way to start Lesnar’s second title reign.

Both guys stagger to their feet and hug to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. It’s an excellent show but it’s not as great as Mania 17. The opening stuff didn’t work nearly as well as the main event stuff, but the biggest thing holding it back from greatness is the lack of THAT match. The most memorable thing about this show is the Shooting Star and that’s because it was a botch. If that thing hit though, this is much higher because that’s a huge Wrestlemania moment to put Lesnar way higher up in history. Still though, excellent show and well worth watching.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Ratings Comparison

Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. A-Train/Big Show

Original: D

Redo: C

Trish Stratus vs. Victoria vs. Jazz

Original: D+

Redo: C

Los Guerreros vs. Team Angle vs. Chris Benoit/Rhyno

Original: C+

Redo: C

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A-

Redo: A-

HHH vs. Booker T

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon

Original: B

Redo: D+

The Rock vs. Steve Austin

Original: B+

Redo: B+

Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: A-

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: A-

What the heck was I thinking on that Hogan match?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/26/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-19-overrated/

Wrestlemania XVII
Date: April 1, 2001
Location: Astrodome, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 67,925
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

After putting up with last year’s mess, this is my reward. Many people including myself consider this to be the greatest wrestling show of all time and I can’t say I argue that point whatsoever. It’s a four hour spectacular headlined by the main event to end all main events for this era: Austin vs. Rock II for the world title. Other matches on the card include HHH vs. Undertaker for the first time along with TLC II, Angle vs. Benoit and Vince vs. Shane to FINALLY end their drama. I’m getting antsy now so let’s get to it.

The opening video is a history of Wrestlemania along with shots of people around the world watching it. This includes a couple watching it in the back of a car. What kind of a portable TV can get a PPV feed? Anyway this is an awesome video that makes Wrestlemania seem like a worldwide event that everyone can get into. That’s an awesome idea and the video makes it work.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Jericho is defending and this is a result of him not liking Commissioner Regal’s regime. Basically he thinks Regal is boring and therefore relieved himself in Regal’s teapot. Regal responded by having the RTC and the Dudleys beat up Jericho on various nights. Jericho came back by dressing up by Doink for no apparent reason and putting Regal in the Walls of Jericho.

Regal pounds away to start but Jericho forearms him out to the floor. There’s a big dive by the champion to take Regal down before he drops Sweet Willy B on the barricade. Back inside and a jumping back elbow off the top puts Regal down again before they head to the mat. Jericho tries for the Walls but Regal escapes and sends the still injured shoulder (from the aforementioned beatdowns) of Jericho into the post. A quick suplex gets two for Regal and it’s back to the arm.

Jericho comes back with an elbow but Regal takes him down with a rollup for two more. Another suplex puts Jericho down again but Regal can’t keep him down. The fans start cheering for Jericho as Regal takes off a turnbuckle pad. The referee is ok with this for some reason as Jericho’s shoulder goes into the steel. Jericho comes back with a pair of enziguris before a middle rope missile dropkick gets two.

Jericho misses a charge in the corner and nearly hits the post head first. In a surprising move, Regal goes up top for a butterfly superplex which gets a delayed two. Jericho trips the legs and tries the Walls again but the shoulder gives out, allowing Regal to hook the Regal Stretch (STF with a half nelson) but Jericho makes the rope. Jericho fights back again but gets kicked in the shoulder, only to send Regal into the exposed buckle and hit the Lionsault to retain. That was a really sudden ending and JR sounded surprised so maybe it was called on the fly.

Rating: B-. This was exactly what an opener was supposed to be: fast paced, hard hitting and it told a good story. They beat on each other for seven minutes straight with nothing of note looking bad. The idea of the shoulder injury was a perfectly fine story to keep the match going and the Regal Stretch worked for a climax. This was a really good opener and it hit every point it was supposed to hit.

Shane McMahon in his WCW-1 limo shows up. He bought WCW on Monday, setting the stage for the Alliance.

Bradshaw is worried about Taz not being here for their match so he goes on one heck of a rant about how awesome Texas is before going on about how THIS IS WRESTLEMANIA.

Right to Censor vs. APA/Taz

The RTC is a censorship group with Val Venis, Goodfather and Bull Buchanan with Steven Richards outside. They censor stuff, the other three don’t like it, let’s fight. Oh and Jackie is with the good guys but no one cares about her. It’s a big brawl to start with the RTC getting destroyed very quickly. We start with Faarooq vs. Buchanan with Bull hitting the climb the rope clothesline for an early two. Off to Taz who gets kicked in the head and triple teamed by RTC.

Venis comes in with some knees to the ribs for two before it’s off to Goodfather. He continues the destruction of Taz including the non-Ho Train for no cover. There’s the hot tag to Bradshaw as the beating shifts. Venis gets caught in the fallaway slam as everything breaks down. A double spinebuster crushes Venis and there’s a belly to back superplex for good measure. Goodfather misses a charge in the corner and Bradshaw kills him dead with the Clothesline for the pin.

Rating: C-. This is pretty easily the worst match of the show and it’s certainly not bad at all. This was short and almost sweet which is what it was supposed to be. The idea here was to have the censors get beaten up by the Texan and give the fans a good feeling which is exactly what happened. Not a good match or anything but it’s completely watchable.

Trish wheels in the comatose Linda to be in attendance for Vince destroying Shane later. Your McMahon Drama Recap of the Night: Vince is screwing Trish while Linda has been medicated to the point where she can’t move while Stephanie is being Daddy’s Little Girl. Stephanie tells Trish to be ready for the celebration post match and Trish is perfectly fine with this. Yep, perfectly.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Big Show vs. Kane

Raven is defending and brings out a shopping cart of goodies with him. Before Show is here, Raven tries to jump Kane for no apparent reason. My guess would be drug related mental issues but that’s just speculation. Show makes the LONG walk down the aisle, only to have Raven tossed over the top rope and down onto him. Raven is easily caught so Kane dives off the top and takes them both out, getting two on Kane.

We head into the crowd with Show never getting into the ring and the brawl is on. Bird Boy’s philosophy seems to be let the monsters brawl and sneak in some shots where he can. A street sign to Kane’s head staggers him, only for Kane to throw Raven nearly through a wall. Show chases Raven away and tries to lock themselves into a kind of storage area. Kane will have none of that and breaks the door down to keep beating up Big Show.

Raven tries to choke Kane with a gardening hose but Kane basically lassos him with it before throwing Raven through the window of a small office. Show knocks Kane through the office door before they brawl through the wall between the offices. Raven stomps away before stealing a golf cart, only to have Big Show jump on the back.

Kane steals one of his own and brings the referee along on the chase. According to Raven, there was supposed to be a chase scene around the arena but it never happened. Also they almost hit some cables that would have cut the power to the entire stadium, which would have been awesome and awful at the same time. They fight to the catering area and the Snapple is destroyed, much to Heyman’s chagrin.

Now we head back up the steps to the stage where Kane goes nuts on Big Show, only to get clotheslined back down. Show loads up a gorilla press on Raven but Kane kicks them both off the stage. A legdrop from Kane onto Show is enough for the pin and the title in a crushed part of the set.

Rating: C+. This is a fun hardcore match with the cool brawling spots mixed with the fun and goofy stuff which is how you make for a good hardcore match. These kind of matches were rare, but for the most part this was a more serious kind of Hardcore Title match, which usually makes things better. Kane would hold the title for awhile before it fell back into the goofy style.

Angle tells Edge and Christian that he didn’t tap out to Benoit because there wasn’t an official bell or an official referee, so it wasn’t an official tap out. The Canadians slowly walk away.

Jimmy Snuka is at WWF New York.

A fan from Australia is here. That’s rather cool.

The Rock arrives, 40 minutes into the show.

European Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Test

Test is defending and Eddie has the Perry Saturn with him. Eddie tries to jump him to start but gets thrown around by the pure power of the champion. A spinning powerbomb gets two for Test and they head to the floor almost immediately. Back in and Eddie gets in a shot to take over before pounding away in the corner. The champion comes back with a clothesline for two before heading up top.

While up there though Test has to counter a hurricanrana before hitting a jumping back elbow to the face for two. A big boot from the champion misses Eddie though, causing Test’s ankle to be caught in the rope. The match has to stop for a second to get him loose because Eddie can’t pin him while in the ropes. Eddie stomps away on the leg on the floor a bit before heading back inside to work on it in the ring.

Off to a sleeper by Guerrero now as the fans seem to be getting a bit bored. Test fights out of it after a few moments and hits the tilt-a-whirl slam to put both guys down. Another tilt-a-whirl ends in a powerbomb for two for Test but Eddie kicks him low to break up a full nelson slam. Saturn slips in while the referee is yelling at Eddie for the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza (a swinging neckbreaker), giving Eddie a two count.

Test gets back up and hits a pumphandle powerslam for two before kicking Saturn’s head off. Eddie gets kicked as well but they have to wait for Dean Malenko to come down for his run-in, causing a stupid looking (fits Test perfectly) pause. As Test beats up Dean, Eddie gets the title belt and hits the champ with it for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. Again, if this is the worst match I have to watch, I’m going to be perfectly fine with this. Test was fine here with Eddie doing almost all of the work and making things as simple for Test as possible. It’s pretty dull stuff but another Texan winning isn’t going to hurt things at all, especially with it just being for the lower midcard title.

Mick Foley promises to call the street fight fairly.

Austin is here, 55 minutes late.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

On his way to the ring, Angle rips on Texas for various reasons, primarily the lone star flag. Oh and cowboy hats are stupid. This match was made on Raw because neither guy had anything to do for Wrestlemania. It’s as simple as it sounds, but do you need anything more than that for this pairing? Angle still insists that he didn’t tap out to Benoit on Raw. Heyman: “This is as excited as a man can get with his clothes on.”

Angle takes it to the mat to start which is fine with Benoit as the struggle begins. Benoit sits out and it’s a standoff, drawing a nice ovation from the crowd. It worked so well before that they do it again, drawing a bigger ovation this time. Angle hits a kind of suplex to take it to the mat for a third time but Benoit sits out again as they fight for position. They roll into the ropes for another break and the fans are pleased yet again.

Benoit takes it to the mat again and tries the Crossface, sending Angle into the safety of the ropes. Kurt bails to the floor for a breather as he isn’t sure what to do with Benoit here. Back in and Angle has to get to a rope to escape another Crossface attempt. Angle blasts Benoit with a right hand to shift the style and momentum here as they head outside. Benoit goes first into the announce table and shoulder first into the steps to keep Kurt in control.

Back in and Angle gets two off a belly to back suplex. A belly to belly gets no cover by Kurt and neither does the second one Angle hits in a row. Benoit comes back with a clothesline as the only advantage of the match so far is gone. Benoit starts slugging away in the corner before hitting a knee to Angle’s ribs. A back elbow to Angle’s face gets two as does a snap suplex ala Dynamite Kid. Benoit follows up with a superplex and holds his neck afterwards. He would be about three months from neck surgery that put him out for over a year.

Speaking of neck injuring suplexes, Benoit rolls some Germans but Angle rolls through the third one into the ankle lock. Benoit escapes that into an ankle lock of his own for good measure. The stealing finishers was one of Angle’s major deals so this shouldn’t be a surprise. Benoit tries the Crossface but Angle blocks it from going on full. Angle puts Benoit in the Crossface for good measure but Benoit gets a foot on the ropes.

Angle accidentally charges into the referee, just before Benoit puts Angle in the Crossface for an unseen tap out. Benoit releases the hold and gets caught in the Angle Slam for two. Angle’s moonsault hits Benoit’s knees, allowing Benoit to go up for the Swan Dive. That gets two, but Angle rolls through and hooks the tights for the win.

Rating: B+. It’s Angle vs. Benoit at Wrestlemania. Did you expect this to be anything less than awesome? This wasn’t as good as their masterpiece at the 2003 Rumble, but it would be a match of the year candidate on any other show. That’s what you expect from these two though, and this is an excellent match that is overshaddowed by the rematches they would have later.

William Regal is annoyed at Michael Cole but walks into his office to see Kamala standing on his desk and rubbing the picture of Queen Elizabeth on his stomach. It’s as disturbing as it sounds.

We get a video from the Wrestlemania pep rally at Fort Hood in Texas with a bunch of wrestlers and Divas. There was a parade and the commander got a chair. The WWE people got plaques and Lita looks so unimpressed it’s unreal. Angle of course would rather have a medal. This was pretty cool.

Angle says he won but Benoit jumps him and puts on another Crossface, making Kurt tap again.

We recap Chyna hurting her neck and then coming back as a Playboy cover girl. This doesn’t sit well with the RTC, who injured her neck in the first place. Tonight it’s Ivory vs. Chyna for the Women’s Title again, but this is more about revenge than the title.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Ivory

For one of the only times ever, Chyna looks great here. Ivory holds the belt to her face before the bell, but the referee is shoved away to let Ivory hit Chyna in the back with said title. Ivory gets in a few more shots but Chyna catches a boot in the corner. The destruction begins and Ivory is beaten down in the corner. A powerbomb kills Ivory dead but Chyna pulls her up at two. Instead it’s a gorilla press slam for the pin and the title. Chyna would bail on the company about a month later without ever losing the title.

Vince gives Trish some instructions about Linda tonight, making sure that Linda won’t be brought out until Shane is totally immobile. Cole comes in to ask about Monday night so Vince promises something shocking tonight.

We recap Vince demanding a divorce from Linda while openly having an affair with Trish. Linda had a breakdown so Vince had her medicated to the point that she was basically a vegetable. Shane returned to destroy Vince and challenged him to a match at Wrestlemania. Vince said ok but there were bigger things to take care of.

On March 26, Vince appeared on Nitro saying that he had bought his competition. At the end of the broadcast though, Shane appeared as well, saying that he had bought WCW when Vince had waited too long. Vince had wanted to sign the contracts here at Mania, allowing Shane to swoop in and steal it. I’m thinking that’s not legal, but it’s wrestling so how much sense does it need to make?

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

This is a street fight of course with Mick Foley as guest referee. Shane has some WCW “stars” in a private box. You can see Shawn Stasiak, Stacy Keibler and I think Bobby Eaton up there. Stephanie is here with Vince but Trish and Linda are being saved for later. Vince slaps Shane and we’re ready to go in a hurry. Shane gets pounded down in the corner but comes back with a spear and a bunch of elbow drops.

Stephanie gets in the ring and slaps Shane in the face, causing a chase sequence. Shane stops to hit Vince in the head with a sign before beating him over an over in the back. A clothesline off the barricade puts Vince down again before Shane whips him into the barricade. Shane blasts him in the back with a kendo stick over and over before peppering him with left jabs and a big right cross. Other than the brief flurry to start this is all Shane.

A monitor shot to Vince’s head knocks him out so Shane can put him on the announce table. For the big spot of the match, Shane loads up the top rope elbow through the table but Stephanie pulls Vince away, sending Shane crashing through the table. Here come Trish and Linda with Linda completely sedated. Vince wakes up and sees them there so Trish helps him to his feet, with an AMAZING cleavage shot.

Trish surprises everyone by slapping Vince, turning face in the process. Stephanie goes after Trish, triggering a catfight in the ring. Mick pulls Stephanie off of Trish, only to get slapped in the face for his efforts. Stephanie runs from Trish and does the worst looking fall in the history of bad looking falls to let Trish catch up before leaving the arena. Back at ringside Vince wakes up and calls his wife a very bad name but Foley stops any potential domestic violence. Vince is fine with that and blasts Mick in the back with a chair.

The oldest McMahon puts Linda into the ring as Shane is still out cold. Linda is sat in the corner of the ring in a chair as Vince throws Shane back into the ring. Now it’s time for four garbage cans to be thrown in as well so Shane can get beaten up yet again. Vince picks up the third can but as he takes too long, Linda stands up to an ERUPTION from the crowd. She kicks Vince between the legs to stun him, allowing Foley to come in and beat the tar out of the owner of the company. Mick knocks Vince down in the corner and Shane hits the Coast to Coast dropkick, sending a garbage can into Vince’s face for the academic pin.

Rating: B. All things considered, this was excellent. This is what you call intricate storytelling with at least five feuds/stories (Vince vs. Shane, Vince vs. Mick, Vince vs. Linda, Stephanie vs. Linda, Trish’s turn) being blown off in one single match. On top of that, the match wasn’t that bad with some decent bumps considering that they’re both non-wrestlers. The drama was the key here though and it worked REALLY well.

The Hardys aren’t sure if any of the three teams will ever be the same after TLC II.

HHH and Undertaker are getting ready. To this day I still want one of those X7 baseball jerseys. They were AWESOME.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

The Dudleys are the champions coming in. There’s no story to it, but was there ever to one of these things? Edge and Christian get double teamed to start and the Dudleyz hit a double flapjack on Christian. Both sets of Boys fight in the corner with Jeff hitting Poetry in Motion on both at once. Cue Edge and Christian again with the ladder before Edge brings in a chair. The Canadians put Matt in the Tree of Woe and stand on his crotch. No wonder Lita left him for Edge.

Edge stats to climb but Matt makes the stop and goes up himself. That goes badly for him of course as Edge uses the chair as a stepping stone to take Matt down with a clothesline. Jeff dropkicks Edge off the ladder before joining with his brother to dropkick a ladder into the Dudleys’ faces. There are two ladders in the ring now in opposite corners. Christian is slammed down and hit with a stereo splash/legdrop from the Hardys. The Dudleys are back in now and there’s What’s Up.

It’s Table Time with Edge being placed on the first one, but Jeff tries a hurricanrana to Bubba, only to be powerbombed through Edge through the table. This is nonstop action so far. The Dudleys set up four tables at ringside as Paul tells us of Big Daddy Dudley’s construction company in Dudleyville. Currently there’s a table in the corner and three ladders in the ring. Bubba picks up a ladder and CRACKS Matt in the head with it before setting it up next to the other two. All three are set up in a row in the middle of the ring so here’s a six way climb.

Matt and Christian go flying first with Matt landing on the ropes and Christian falling all the way to the floor. Jeff and D-Von fall into the opposite ropes and Edge and Bubba fall backwards, to put all six guys down. Edge is the only one halfway standing and Christian sets up a table on the floor. Bubba dumps a ladder to the floor to clear the ring out a bit as Spike Dudley, Bubba and D-Von’s cousin, runs in. He hits Edge low and puts Christian through a table with the Dudley Dog off the apron.

Edge and Christian’s friend Rhyno runs in and destroys everyone in sight before sending Edge up the ladder to get the belts. Cue Lita to jerk Edge off. The ladder. Anyway with the thong sticking WAY out, Rhyno picks her up but gets hit low by Spike. Lita goes up for a rana on Rhyno and Spike cracks him in the head with a chair, sending Rhyno into the ladder, knocking Edge into the ropes. A Doomsday Device puts Rhyno down again but Lita CRACKS Spike in the head with a chair. She then takes off her top, giving us the biggest pop of the night. Not that it matters as she walks into a 3D and is now done for the match.

The Canadians come back in with chairs to take the champions out before Christian brings out the huge ladder. It’s on the floor but it’s still taller than the ones in the ring. Jeff, ever the crazy man, goes ALL THE WAY to the top and hits a Swanton onto Spike and Rhyno (read as Rhyno barely gets hit and Spike takes every bit of it). The super ladder is set up in the ring now and it’s a race between D-Von and Christian. Matt moves the ladder away, leaving both guys hanging from the cord holding the belts.

Both guys fall down, but Jeff gets up on a regular ladder and tries to walk on the other small ladders like a tightrope. Jeff loses his balance though and has to hang from the cord as well. Bubba grabs the ladder and walks away with it while Jeff’s feet are still in it, pulling Jeff’s body back. The feet pull away and Jeff swings forward, right into a spear from Edge off the super ladder, drawing a BIG gasp from the crowd. That’s the spot that made everyone realize Edge was going to be something VERY special.

Matt and Bubba go up on the super ladder, but Rhyno shoves it over, sending them crashing through the four tables at ringside. D-Von goes up now but Edge grabs his feet, allowing Rhyno to give Christian enough of a boost to beat D-Von to the top and get the titles, finally ending this carnage.

Rating: A+. If you’re looking for pure insanity and non-stop violence, this is the pinnacle of the genre. These nine people went for over fifteen minutes and never once stopped beating on each other. The spots are insane and the big spots still have you in awe. This match holds up incredibly well and is just as impressive as it was twelve years ago. Absolute masterpiece that blows away every MITB match that I can remember.

Video on Axxess. I need to go to that someday.

We get the all time attendance record announcement: 67,925. That’s AWESOME.

Now for the fun part of the show to give the fans a chance to breathe. Here are MEAN FREAKING GENE OKERLUND and Bobby Heenan to do commentary for the next match.

Gimmick Battle Royal

Luke, Butch, Duke Droese, Iron Sheik, Earthquake, The Goon, Doink, Kamala, Kimchee, Repo Man, Jim Cornette, Nikolai Volkoff, Michael Hayes, One Man Gang (He couldn’t fit into the Akeem gear), Gobbledy Gooker (complete with video from Survivor Series 1990), Tugboat, Hillbilly Jim (biggest reaction of the entrants), Brother Love, Sgt. Slaughter

Take eighteen of the goofiest gimmicks of all time, throw them in a match, have fun. I thought this was awesome when I was 13 and it’s still awesome to this day. The entrances take nearly three times longer than the match but that’s beside the point. Repo Man is put out in about two seconds as is the Gooker. Quake puts Tugboat out before Kamala throws him out as well.

People are thrown out right and left with Doink being eliminated to a chorus of booing. The final four are Brother Love, Slaughter, Hillbilly Jim and the Sheik. Within about 12 seconds it’s down to Sheik and Jim with Sheik winning because he can’t go over the top to the floor. This was like three minutes long and it worked just fine all things considered. Slaughter puts Sheik in the Cobra Clutch post match.

We recap HHH vs. Undertaker. HHH beat Austin at No Way Out and then said there was nobody left for him to beat, so here came the Dead Man. HHH jumped him from behind and choked him with a chair a week later. Taker came back with a pipe, earning himself a restraining order from Stephanie.

There was no restraining order against Undertaker’s brother Kane though, so he kidnapped Stephanie and threatened to throw her off a balcony unless Taker got a one on one match with HHH at Wrestlemania. HHH responded by destroying Undertaker’s motorcycle. Taker called the ring his yard, giving HHH the great line of “Your yard is in the middle of his world.” This was the match I was looking forward to more than any other on the card.

HHH vs. Undertaker

Taker gets to do his long bike ride down the aisle, meaning he can speed it way up, which looks pretty awesome. I use that word a lot in this but it’s true. The fight starts on the floor with HHH losing a slugout. They break ANOTHER Spanish announce table with Taker still pounding away. We get in the ring for the opening bell where HHH hitting the jumping knee to the face. Taker has no interest in selling that though and pounds on HHH in the corner even more.

A big backdrop puts HHH down as do some clotheslines in the corner. Taker powerslams the Game down and there’s the jumping clothesline to do it again. HHH breaks up Old School though and hits a neckbreaker for two. A few elbows to Taker’s neck have him in even more trouble and there’s a neckbreaker for two. See what psychology is like? It’s not that hard. Taker comes back with rapid fire punches but gets caught in a facebuster.

HHH goes to the floor and gets the sledgehammer but the referee takes it away from him. Instead HHH loads up a Pedigree but gets catapulted into the referee, crushing him in the process. There’s a chokeslam to HHH but the referee is slow to count, meaning it only gets two. Taker beats up the referee to knock him out cold before throwing HHH out to the floor. HHH is backdropped into the crowd and the brawl is on. Taker punches him up to the tech area which is a very rare sight.

HHH tries to climb away to escape, but he climbs up higher and higher. Taker catches him anyway and pounds him in the head before sending him up to the next level. HHH finds a chair and blasts him ten straight times about the head and body. He loads up another shot to the head but Taker grabs him by the throat and chokeslams HHH off the tower onto something we can’t see. It winds up being a crash pad but the throw looked GREAT. Taker wants more and drops an elbow off the tower down onto HHH for good measure.

Before HHH can be taken to the back by EMTs, Taker beats him up even more and even knocks down the medics. We head back to the ring where the referee hasn’t moved for six minutes and hasn’t been looked at whatsoever. Back to the ring with HHH basically dead. Taker picks up the sledgehammer but HHH kicks him low to save his life. A big boot to the face of HHH takes him down though and it’s time for a slugout.

HHH loads up a Tombstone but since he’s not Kane (or Sid apparently, Taker easily counters into one of his own. There’s STILL no referee though as he’s been out cold for ten minutes (from a kick in the back and an elbow drop mind you). Taker finally shakes him back to life before loading up the Last Ride. HHH grabs the sledgehammer though and knocks Undertaker silly with it…..for two. I lost my mind on that kickout back in the day.

Taker is busted open and HHH is having a fit. The Game pounds away at the cut in the corner but makes the fatal mistake of going to the middle rope for more leverage, allowing Taker to grab the Last Ride to plant HHH and make himself 9-0 at Wrestlemania. Taker lays on the ropes after the match and the shot of him busted open but smiling is sweet.

Rating: A. This is one of the great matches that no one talks about for various reasons ranging from their rematches to the match that immediately followed it. It’s absolutely great though with both guys beating the tar out of each other and some excellent drama on the near falls. This was the match that made sure you knew Taker was still a player while keeping HHH strong at the same time. Great fight.

Some fan won a contest here because of a poster.

As JR says, the time is upon us.

We recap Austin vs. Rock II which is summed up by one line from Austin: “The fact is Rock, you got the WWF Title and I want it.” This is backed up by the mother of all hype videos, set to My Way by Limp Bizkit. I’m not a fan of their music but this video is AMAZING. Debra was originally involved but thankfully that was dropped after about eight seconds. This was the best kind of build there was: take two superstars who seemingly cannot lose and put them together in a title match. These two beat on each other for months on end until this night arrived.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Heyman says this is the match that both men need to win and neither man can afford to lose. Right before the entrances, Fink tells us that this is now No DQ, which is a surprise to everyone. Austin’s pop is awe inspiring as the face absolutely lose their minds at his entrance. Rock gets a VERY mixed reaction as Austin is a folk hero here in Texas. The brawl is on immediately and Austin hits the Thesz Press and middle finger elbow, only to be taken down by a swinging neckbreaker. The Rock Bottom and Stunner are countered and Austin throws Rock to the floor. We’re maybe 45 seconds in at this point.

They fight into the crowd with Rock taking over with more right hands. Back to ringside with Austin hitting a clothesline to put Rock down before adjusting his knee brace for a bit. They’re back in the ring now with Austin hitting a running crotch attack in 619 position followed by a superplex for the first two count of the match. Austin takes off the turnbuckle pad and pounds away to A LOT of booing from the crowd. A back elbow gets two for Rock before he clotheslines Austin to the floor.

They fight over to the announce table with Austin coming back with a bell shot to the face. Rock is knocked onto the announce table which breaks a few seconds later. We head back inside for Austin to pound away to even more pops from the crowd. Rock comes back with right hands but Austin drops both him and a leg for two. Rock is busted open and Austin chokes away in the corner. Austin stops to yell at the referee and gets his head taken off by a lariat from Rock.

The champion pounds away with right hands before getting the bell. It goes upside the head of the also bloody Austin but only gets two. We’re at the point now where the pinfall attempts get more and more intense. Rock keeps pounding away but Austin won’t stay down. Back to the floor with Austin firing off more fists as JR is in all his glory calling it. A slingshot sends Rock head first into the post and man did he BOUNCE off that thing. Back inside and Rock scoops the legs for the Sharpshooter in a call back to WM 13 where Austin is dripping blood while in the hold. He makes the rope this time though and we keep going.

Rock flips Austin off, earning himself a Sharpshooter from Austin. Well there’s a twist. It’s a terrible Sharpshooter but it gets the job done. Rock powers out though with blood dripping in between his teeth, again ala Mania 13. Back to the Sharpshooter on Rock but he makes the rope this time to escape again. Austin busts out the Million Dollar Dream of all things and the bloody Rock is in trouble. Rock fights up though and we get another callback to a Bret vs. Austin masterpiece with Rock climbing the rope and backflipping onto Austin for two, making him break the hold in the process.

Out of nowhere Rock hits a Stunner on Austin but he can’t follow up. It eventually gets two…and here’s Vince. Austin’s whip spienbuster gets two but he walks into one by Rock which sets up the People’s Elbow. Vince breaks it up though by pulling Rock off Austin, earning himself a death stare from the champion. Now we know something is afoot given the history between Vince and Austin. Rock chases Vince but runs into a Rock Bottom from Austin for another very close two.

The Stunner is countered and Hebner is knocked to the floor, allowing Austin to hit a low blow. Vince brings in a chair and clocks Rock with it on Austin’s instructions, getting another delayed two count. Now the fans are cheering for Rock a lot more but aren’t as pleased when Rock hits a Rock Bottom out of nowhere. Vince gets pulled into the ring for a beatdown but it’s a Stunner to Rock for only two. That probably should have been the finish, but instead Austin gets the chair and gives Rock the mother of all beatdowns with it, hitting him SIXTEEN TIMES. Rock is DEAD and Austin covers the body for the pin and the title.

Rating: A+. Yes there’s kind of weak ending, yes there were some lame points, but it’s Rock vs. Austin II for the world title in the main event of Wrestlemania. This is a masterpiece by definition alone. I think I might be the only person on the planet that likes this turn still, but it was in front of the wrong crowd. If this was ANY other state in the country it would have been booed like there was no tomorrow, but instead gets cheered, which is where the problem came from. Still though, excellent match and worthy of being the main event of the greatest show ever.

Vince and Austin shake hands, officially ending the Attitude Era. Beer is consumed and Rock is hit with the belt one more time for good measure.

Overall Rating: A++. It’s the greatest show of all time. Normally I would say if there was a rating higher than an A+ it would get that, so now there’s a rating of A++ for this show and this show alone. With a mind blowing four matches at B+ or higher and absolutely nothing bad at all, how can this not be the best show ever? I’ve seen this show several dozen times and it doesn’t get old no matter how many times I see it. It’s still excellent and needs to be seen by all fans.

Ratings Comparison

Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Original: B

Redo: B-

Right to Censor vs. Tazz/A.P.A.

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Raven vs. Kane vs. Big Show

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Test

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B+

Redo: B+

Chyna vs. Ivory

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

Original: B

Redo: B

Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Gimmick Battle Royal

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: A+

Redo: A

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A++

Yep it holds up.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/24/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-17-oh-yes/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 21, 2013
Location: Sears Center Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz, Todd Keneley

After last week’s dominance by Aces and 8’s, tonight should be about both redemption for TNA and setting up the first challenger for Ray and the title. Unfortunately this isn’t live so the reactions won’t be as crisp. The main thing here though is that Aces and 8’s is looking a lot better all of a sudden and hopefully they can keep that going tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a fast paced Aces and 8’s recap before we hear from Bully Ray. Tonight he’s going to explain how he did what he did over the last nine months to get where we are today.

Here’s Hulk on one crutch now to open the show. He talks about being around forever but never having been fooled like this before. Last week he sent the whole roster (as in like five or six guys) to fight the Aces and 8’s and it was a massacre (not really). Now Hulk realizes that it’s a war and he needs warriors. He calls out the four men that led the charge last week, which are Samoa Joe, Jeff Hardy, Magnus and Kurt Angle.

Hulk talks about needing the world title back and asks Jeff if he’s ready to get it back. Jeff says he’s ready but wants to prove it in a four way match tonight. Hogan says that’s a great idea and books the match for the shot at Ray for the main event tonight.

We hear about Plan A from Bully Ray: win the Bound For Glory Series and win the world title at Bound For Glory. Aces and 8’s were created for shock and awe and debuted the night the Series started. Week after week the people started asking who was behind the Aces and 8’s, which is when Roode started thinking it was Storm, so Aces and 8’s made him into a scapegoat. Then Ray called Roode again to have Roode cost Storm the BFG Series again. That night Hogan locked down the building, but it didn’t matter because Ray lost the BFG Series final to Jeff Hardy. Therefore, Ray needed a new plan.

Tag Titles: Bobby Roode/Austin Aries vs. Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero

Roode and Aries are defending. Roode and Chavo get things going with Bobby pounding on Chavo’s head and neck for early control. Off to Hernandez who uses the power game to take over before getting caught in the heel corner with some cheating. Aries chops him in the chest before bringing Roode back in, only to be double suplexed by SuperMex. Back to Chavo who dropkicks both champions to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Chavo still in trouble at the hands of both tag champions. He finally comes back with a tornado DDT though, allowing the hot tag to Hernandez. A HUGE gorilla press puts Roode down and there’s a big dive off the ramp and over the top rope to take out both Aries and Roode at the same time. The challengers load up a powerbomb/top rope something combination but Aries makes the save. Chavo comes back with Three Amigos on Austin but as he loads up the Frog Splash, Christopher Daniels comes down and shoves him off the top, allowing Aries to roll up Guerrero for the pin at 11:57.

Rating: C+. Chavo and Hernandez are fine in the ring but there is no reason to care about them at all. They have no charisma, no reason to care about them and nothing of note to make them stand out. The champions are fine in the ring but much better on the microphones, but unfortunately we didn’t get any promos here.

We get a video on what the X Division means. Tonight the X Division Evolution begins, meaning there will be a reemphasis on the high flying and all title defenses will be three way matches.

Kenny King is fine with the new rules and plugs TNA’s sponsor in a promo.

X-Division Title: Kenny King vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Zema Ion

Apparently if you don’t get pinned or submit, you can be in the next title match. Also there’s a 230lb weight limit now. Dutt takes both guys down to start and all three head to the floor. The champion runs up the apron and dives down to take out Dutt with a flip attack. Ion and King head inside and there’s a running splash in the corner to Zema. Dutt is knocked off the apron but comes back in when both guys are down.

The Hindu Press is broken up by King but Ion takes the champion down with a tornado DDT. Dutt flips into the ring with a sweet hurricanrana to send Ion to the floor. Sonjay runs up to the corner and after slipping a bit, takes out both other guys with a moonsault. He hits the moonsault double stomp on Ion but King comes in with a springboard Blockbuster to pin Dutt at 4:53.

Rating: C+. The match was fine but I’m going to get sick of these triple threats in a hurry. At the end of the day it’s already the most overdone gimmick match in wrestling to the point where it’s almost not even a gimmick anymore. The match was ok but as usual it was sloppy at times.

Brooke Hogan is here to do business and nothing else.

We hear more from Ray about the start of Plan B. He caused Joseph Park to get caught into the Clubhouse which got Hogan inside as well. This set up the tag match at BFG and D-Von was brought in because Hogan turned his back on D-Von. I believe that’s because D-Von’s contract was allowed to expire. Then Sting started to stand up for Ray and Bully had an opening. Hulk finally shook Ray’s hand and it was all over. Ray intentionally got caught with Brooke and there was nothing Hulk could do at that point.

Sting goes into Hogan’s office and Hogan yet again accepts no blame at all despite saying most of this was his fault. Hogan tells Sting to go stand in the rafters for years.

We recap Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell with Taryn snapping on Gail at the PPV. Taryn says if she gets fired then so be it because she’s reached her breaking point.

Here’s Taryn to say she had to retaliate against Gail for everything Gail had done for her. She’s ready to accept her consequences so here’s Gail. Kim says that Taryn should know better than to mess with her because Gail is the greatest Knockout of all time. She’s here to watch Taryn get fired by Brooke Hogan. Brooke fires Taryn before immediately rehiring her as a Knockout, meaning Taryn can get physical. Taryn and Gail fight to the back and here’s Bully to stare at Brooke.

Ray holds up his ring finger and says til death do us part so Brooke runs away.

Ray talks about forming the team by bringing in D-Von, Knux, Doc and Garrett. D-Von and Garrett even offered their services to Hogan but got turned down. Garrett was the one that got rid of Eric Bischoff but Hogan brushed him off in a TV Title elimination choice. Brisco joined because Hogan was trained by his father and uncle but Hogan made him beg. Then Anderson joined because after Aces and 8’s attacked him, Hogan never checked on him.

Tazz was recruited because he was Hogan’s friend and bulletproof because of his contract. D’Lo was in because he was a member of management. Kurt was the first victim because he was a way to get Wes into Gut Check and Brown helped get Brisco onto the roster by being a judge. Then it was time for Ray’s title match where Ray made sure everyone was revealed before he won so that the ultimate reveal was the best.

Angle wants to take down Aces and 8’s by winning the world title.

Matt Morgan vs. Joseph Park

Park is the hometown boy but gets shoved down with ease. Morgan toys with Park and clotheslines him in the back of the head for good measure. Park avoids a charge in the corner and pounds away, only to be taken down by a discus clothesline. The Carbon Footprint misses though and Morgan crotches himself on the rope. Joseph pounds away and a shoulder block puts Matt down. The middle rope splash misses though and it’s the Carbon Footprint for the pin at 5:14.

Rating: D. This was long and boring with Park getting in offense for all of about fifteen seconds. Apparently Morgan is going after Hogan after not being involved with him for months. Park is doing fine in this role but it wouldn’t hurt to have him do some more Abyss style stuff to freshen things up a bit.

Hardy says may the best man win tonight.

Here’s AJ Styles for an in-ring interview with Mike Tenay. Mike cites his history with AJ before asking about AJ’s rumored drug and alcohol use. Tazz cuts them off before we get an answer though and offers AJ a spot on the Aces and 8’s roster. This brings out James Storm who wants to know if this is the real AJ Styles.

AJ doesn’t even turn to face him as Storm asks him questions. Styles used to be the kind of guy that would tell you what he thought about you. AJ may be a new guy but Storm is the same old Cowboy. Storm isn’t happy with getting sucker punched last week and says he’s going to punch AJ out. There goes the cowboy hat and the fans chant hug it out. AJ walks away.

Ray talks about Hardy rolling along and winning wrestler of the year. Hogan still didn’t trust Ray when Ray saved him or caught him with his daughter. Ray even saved Brooke but Hogan didn’t care. When this didn’t work, Ray moved on to Sting. He proposed to Brooke and had Aces and 8’s break up the wedding. Ray took a few shots for the team like in Goodfellas. Then Ray got hut and Brooke convinced Hogan to name him #1 contender, which is exactly what she did. Ray started playing to Hulk’s ego which got Hogan into the match where Sting got beaten up while Ray took care of his family.

Jeff Hardy vs. Magnus vs. Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

The winner gets the shot at Bully Ray, presumably at Slammiversary. The fans seem to be behind Joe as he stomps Angle down in the corner. Joe cleans out the ring other than Kurt before hitting the corner enziguri to take him down. A knee drop to the head gets two before Joe sends Kurt to the floor. Joe hits a BIG dive to take out all three guys as we take a break.

Back with Angle pounding away on Magnus but being kneed down by the Brit. Hardy dives on Magnus but gets caught in a suplex for his efforts. Magnus stays on Hardy in the ring as Joe and Angle are down on the floor. The fans chant for Joe and Angle but Hardy starts to clean house. He hits a low dropkick on Magnus and Twisting Stunners on Joe and Angle. Magnus gets the full Twist but Angle breaks up the Swanton attempt. Magnus crotches Jeff but Angle has suplexes for everyone and an ankle lock for Joe. As Joe kicks Angle into Magnus, Hardy hits the Swanton on the Samoan for the pin and title shot at 12:13.

Rating: C. This was just ok. At the end of the day it was pretty clearly going to be Hardy given the amount of hype he’s gotten over the course of the show. Magnus getting more TV time is always a good thing as he’s a very talented guy, but it isn’t his time yet. Joe and Angle were Joe and Angle so the match was good enough but not great.

Hardy celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The show wasn’t as good as last week’s but the backstory by Ray was a nice touch. While we already knew a lot of that it was cool to see him telling us about it all instead of just saying “I have my reasons and they’re none of your business”. The big problem for TNA though is that most of their show is dedicated to one story and if you don’t like that you’re out of luck. Even AJ is being pulled into it and it appears that he’ll be the Sting to Ray’s Hogan from 1997. Good show but if Aces and 8’s doesn’t stay at a higher level, they’re in BIG trouble.

Results

Bobby Roode/Austin Aries b. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez – Rollup to Guerrero

Kenny King b. Sonjay Dutt and Zema Ion – Springboard Blockbuster to Dutt

Matt Morgan b. Joseph Park – Carbon Footprint

Jeff Hardy b. Samoa Joe, Magnus and Kurt Angle – Swanton to Joe

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

No Way Out 2002
Date: February 17, 2002
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 15,291
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This show is important for one reason: the NWO. Flair had bought half of the company and Vince hated it so he decided to poison his own company by way of the NWO. Tonight is their debut but no one is really sure where they’re going to do it at. The main event is Austin vs. Jericho for the title. Other than that we have Rock vs. Taker and Angle vs. HHH with Stephanie as referee with the winner getting the shot at Mania. Other than that (which is a lot already) there isn’t much. Let’s get to it.

Surprisingly enough we open with the NWO. I wouldn’t have bet on them starting the show but this works. At least they’re not making us wait. The set has the big semi-truck look to it which would become a part of the Rock vs. Hogan feud in one of the dumbest segments I can ever remember. We’ll get to that someday.

In this case the NWO is just the three original members. Hall of course looks like a freaking idiot as he tends to do. Nash opens us up and says they have a ton of heat with the boys. Naturally we use some slightly insider terms with these guys. We get the innocent act from them as they say there’s nothing wrong with them and they’re here to make it better. This of course takes about 5 minutes to get through.

Hey Yo gets a big old reaction. Hall throws out the term marks to continue shoving the whole we’re insiders thing down our throats. Hogan goes last and says the same thing for the most part. He’s kind of half booed and cheered, allegedly being choked up. They thank Vince, who even when he brought them in called them poison. It’s rather amusing given how he and Vince are today. The whole opening segment took ten minutes which is rather surprising to me.

And now, nearly 15 minutes into the show we start the wrestling.

Tag Team Turmoil

The idea here is you have six total teams. Two randomly selected teams start us off and have a match. The winners stay alive and face the next randomly selected team. Last team standing wins and gets a tag title shot at Mania. The match wound up being a fatal fourway with three of these teams so it’s not like it mattered anyway. Scotty 2 Hotty/Albert vs. Christian/Lance Storm start us off with Storm and Scotty starting us off.

We go REALLY old school to get a giant swing from Albert. The faces take over here on the Unamericans. Scotty goes to the floor as no one has a counter for Albert. Christian, somehow the only one of these that means anything anymore, takes the Worm. Ok no he doesn’t as Storm tries to kick him in the face. The distraction results in an Unprettier (Killswitch to you modern fans) to end him.

Hardys are next. It’s kind of a mess here as we have a bunch of matches all in a row which is a fun idea but at the same time it’s a bit hard to keep track of the whole thing or review it either. The announcers argue the NWO issue which at least makes sense here as this match isn’t ending for another four falls. I usually hate that but Ross and Lawler tend to be much better about staying on topic.

Pretty much a mess of a match here that isn’t bad or anything. After about four minutes the standard double move from the Hardys take out the Canadians. Nothing great here but I’ve seen worse as usual.

Enter the Dudleys and the GORGEOUS Stacy. Her in the camo shorts and tied off top was absolutely stunning. Jeff and Bubba start the usual good match between these two teams as Bubba locks in an ankle lock of all things on Jeff. Edge and Christian were almost done as a big time team at this point so they were waiting on various teams such as Billy and Chuck to take over etc.

The Hardys try a combination legsweep/side effect which works ok at best. Twist of Fate attempt on Bubba but Stacy comes in, only to get speared down by Lita. I’ll give Lita this: she threw PUNCHES instead of those weak spanks or hair pulls you see more often than not. SWEET Litacanrana to Bubba. Huge dive over the top by Jeff as we crank it WAY up. Matt rolls up D-Von to end this way too early. I’d love to see these guys go at it some more, which is why this era was awesome for tag wrestling.

3D to Jeff on the floor as Billy and Chuck come out. This is about 4 months before the wedding which was one of the best shocks I’ve ever seen. Matt has to fight on his own and gets taken down by a superkick that almost connected and a Fameasser ends him.

The APA is the last team and I think I know who wins here. The boys in red beat up the APA for awhile before pure power takes over. How weird is it to think that Bradshaw was about two years away from a huge world title reign? This slows WAY down as we go from Hardys vs. Dudleys to this. Billy and Chuck didn’t really know what they were doing yet despite being long time tag wrestlers.

Fameasser is caught in a SICK spinebuster from Farooq. I love that move. Semi-hot tag to Bradshaw who cleans a few rooms. HUGE clothesline to Billy ends him to give the APA the win. Billy and Chuck would get the belts by Mania and it would be these two plus the previous two teams in one big mess of a match that wound up sucking to the shock of no one.

Rating: C+. Kind of a mess but not bad. The issues with these matches tended to be having too many quick falls, but here they protected that with the 3D on the floor which makes the double pin make sense. That’s a nice perk on it and the match worked pretty well. Having a 15 minute match helps this too as it’s usually like 9 minutes, which is far too short. This was fine though and kind of fun to watch.

Ad for Mania, which of course they make seem like a religious experience. Mania 17 got close I guess. We even get a Savage clip in there.

Ric Flair is here with the blonde highlighted Cole who you want to punch even harder than you do today. Taker shows up to whine at Flair. They would have a bad Mania match out of this.

Rob Van Dam vs. Goldust

No title or anything here, even though RVD was on the poster. Goldie had a crush on RVD or something. His finishing move is a neckbreaker so you can tell how much of a chance he has here. We get a thinly veiled reference to Dusty as they point out how weird it is to have Goldust be Dusty’s son. BIG reaction for RVD as we’re close to his hometown to a degree. Goldie jumps him during his spinning intro and it’s on early.

It’s kind of weird seeing Goldust as a heel but you’re getting it here. Van Dam gets on a small roll so the Oscar based guy runs away. He tries to leave in true heel fashion but comes back so Lawler can make movie jokes. We get American Pie references and JR won’t say if he saw it or not. Spinning leg to the back of Goldust when he’s on the railing. A flying elbow off the apron misses Van Dam but who cares I guess?

Flying back to the face gets two. In kind of a cool move Van Dam is on the top and gets punched. Goldust then pulls him back so that Van Dam’s back is driven into the top of the post and then pulled down on. Painful looking move at least. This is a rather boring match as for some reason they’re giving RVD a match here for nothing other than to build him up, but of all people they feed Goldust to him? Is this really the best idea?

A chinlock is applied to further deinterest this match. Lawler makes more and more dump jokes here to fill in time. RVD hammers the mat which isn’t tapping for reasons of it not being the finish I guess. If you can’t tell this is rather boring. Backslide gets two for RVD. Jumping kick to the face gets two for RVD as you can feel the ending coming soon. Rolling Thunder gets two.

Five Star misses and RVD takes a DDT. Goldust does an interpretive dance to signal the neckbreaker….which is now the reverse suplex into the slam which has been his more well known finisher by the same name (Curtain Call). Stepover spinwheel kick sets up the Five Star to end this boring match.

Rating: D. This got 12 minutes on a PPV? Did RVD smoke a bit with the writers beforehand? This wasn’t anything more than a long Raw match would be and for some reason it was the second match on a PPV. Just a total WTF here as there was no apparent reason for this but they gave it time anyway. RVD gets wasted here despite having the spot on the poster. Pointless match.

Ad for the British PPV Rebellion, which I think we’ve done but if not I might do a marathon to get through them.

Austin runs into the NWO, having one of his few on screen appearances with Hogan ever. They all talk about how great Austin is and have a present for him, a six pack of beer, which Austin throws away. It’s kind of weird for some reason seeing the other three guys being taller than he is for some reason. As pointless as this seemed to be, seeing Austin and Hogan on screen is to say the least special.

Tag Titles: Booker T/Test vs. Spike Dudley/Tazz

The big guys are the challengers here. There are only one set of belts at this point so for some reason they decided that these two are the best choice for the titles. That’s just bizarre but whatever. Their combined weight is 398lbs. That’s just amusing. Test and Tazz fight as do the others. Test and Booker were champions back in the Alliance days I believe. Spike comes in with a missile dropkick off the top to take care of Test.

We get kind of a Hart Attack from the challengers but with a side kick instead. Tazz of course stands there and watches it happen instead of making a save or even attempting a save. Why save your tiny partner I guess? Spike as usual takes a beating which is what he is made for it seems. Axe Kick kills him pretty much and we get a spinarooni.

VERY weak hot tag to Taz who puts Booker on the floor. Test goes for a cover but yells at the referee when it’s two and walks into the Tazmission for the tap out. For the life of me I don’t get the point in putting the titles on these guys and then keeping them with these two for so long. A more traditional team would win them soon afterwards with Billy and Chuck.

Rating: D+. Pretty weak Raw level match here that didn’t have much at all going for it. Again Taz and Spike were nice for awhile but in matches like this it was just stupid. I mean really, beating Booker and Test clean? Would anyone buy that at all? I certainly didn’t and thankfully they would lose the belts soon after this.

Rock rants about Taker tombstoning him on a limo a few weeks back. It turns into a rant about respect with Rock in fine form. Oddly enough Coach can almost look him in the eye.

Mania is in four weeks.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

This is brass knuckles on a pole. Edge was on the verge of one of the hottest streaks I can remember in a long time. Allegedly he was going to jump to Raw at Survivor Series and win the first Elimination Chamber but Shawn and HHH decided they were the right choices to steal the show there. He would have won it in 2003 but he hurt his neck and never really has been the same.

They fight in the aisle to start as Edge goes for the pole early. Before you make your Russo jokes, he actually did come back around this time as an advisor. Second rope dropkick by Edge to take Regal down again. Regal takes over with some cheating as the fans chant USA. Fortunately for my sanity we shift to REGAL SUCKS. Butterfly powerbomb on the floor and Edge is in big trouble.

Regal Stretch goes on and Edge is bleeding from the nose. Another powerbomb in the ring and it’s all Regal at this point. Edge gets a small break but both men hit the floor. Kind of a slow match so far as neither can really get a continued advantage but it’s not horrible. Regal goes for the knuckles but Edge pulls him down in a belly to back suplex. Regal pulled them down with him though and the Canadian gets them. Regal has his OWN knucks though and he pops Edge with them to end it.

Rating: D+. It’s ok I guess but this just kind of dragged for awhile. Regal would drop the belt to RVD at Mania so it’s not like this was part of a long title reign for him. Edge losing is a bit stupid given how hot he was but if they wanted to go with RVD then that’s understandable. Regal never really clicked as a major threat but this was fine for what it was, which isn’t much I guess.

Don’t Try This At Home.

Lillian suggests Angle has Stephanie in his corner which he denies. He also says he didn’t get his medals out of a box of Lucky Charms. The WHAT chants are really annoying here.

We recap Rock vs. Taker which started when Rock made fun of him for being eliminated by Maven in the Rumble. Taker said Rock didn’t respect him which was his big thing at this point. Rock cost him the Hardcore Title to Maven on Smackdown, so Taker gave him a Tombstone on a limo.

The Undertaker vs. The Rock

Rock sprints to the ring and we’re on fast. Taker wins a slugout and takes over. I’m not sure if these two have ever had a truly good match but maybe they’ll surprise me here. We hit the chinlock very early which is kind of surprising. We are LIVE which is a box that pops up for no apparent reason. Big boot misses and Rock takes over.

This is really rather boring so far. We hit the floor for the standard brawling and Rock gets crotched on the railing. They head to the back kind of, fighting through an exit door of some kind. I’m not sure why but I just cannot get into this match. It’s not working for me at all as they’re going very slowly with almost nothing but punches and strikes. Just as I say that we hit a bearhug by Taker.

I’ve never liked the spot where on the third drop the face’s arm drops and then snaps back up. It fell, meaning that should be a submission. Rock comes back with, of course, punches. A DDT and spinebuster set up the elbow attempt which is the only overly long spot that I actually like. It doesn’t hit but Rock low blows Taker to keep the advantage. Ah there’s the chokeslam.

That only gets two so Taker goes and sits on his motorcycle. And there goes the referee, allowing Taker to pull out the pipe he hit Rock with a few weeks ago. Flair comes out for the save which ticks Taker off, prompting him to just kick Flair in the face, which is rapidly becoming one of my favorite moves/responses in wrestling.

Sharpshooter goes on and here’s Vince for no apparent reason other than Flair hates Taker so Vince likes him I guess. Rock goes after him, allowing Taker to set for the Tombstone. Flair hits him in the head with the pipe which doesn’t put him down, but the Rock Bottom does. Well that makes sense, as well as ends the match.

Rating: D. I know that’s low but this just wasn’t very good. With 85% or so being punches and the WAY overbooked ending, this just never got going at all. It’s kind of a mess, feeling like it had a long, as in over ten minutes, worth of setup before we got to the meat of the match. The problem is the meat of the match wasn’t working at all either, making the whole thing just not very good at all.

Perfect is at WWF New York, where he appears a bit intoxicated. Ring rat jokes follow.

We recap Angle vs. HHH which never really got a big blowoff in 2000. HHH threw Angle out to end the Rumble so Angle complained about it. What exactly does it mean to go Olympic on someone? Stephanie and HHH were “divorcing” at the time, but Stephanie said she was pregnant. Since this is wrestling though, it was a fake. They were going to renew their wedding vows but HHH found out earlier. Wasn’t this supposed to be about Angle too? Stephanie is referee tonight.

Kurt Angle vs. HHH

Ok so at least we get Stephanie in a leather halter top for a referee shirt and TINY leather shorts. Yep she’s gorgeous. Angle gets a LOUD You Suck chant. Allegedly Stephanie and Angle are sleeping together. Stephanie keeps trying to get quick counts on HHH. This is for the shot at Mania if I didn’t mention that. We hear about how HHH has no chance, but if you believe he’s not going to Mania you’re an idiot.

Belly to back suplex to HHH but since he didn’t spin slightly it’s not an Angle Slam. Angle goes for a big clothesline but takes Stephanie’s head off instead, sending her to the floor. Tim White comes down, making Stephanie more or less pointless. Granted seeing her in clothes liked that made the match already. Couple of sweet belly to belly suplexes with Angle in control.

We get a sleeper and the fans chant boring which I can’t say I disagree with. Angle gets a little ticked off which makes him a bit more awesome. Ten punches in the corner but HHH counters with a powerbomb of all things. We hit the floor with Angle running away. And then Angle just hits the referee from behind and even with HHH in front of him, that’s not a DQ. Low blow puts HHH down again and there’s the Angle Slam. Stephanie bounces back to ringside and gets two.

Ankle lock is kicked off and down goes Stephanie again. DDT hits Angle but there’s no referee. Does everything have to be overbooked tonight? Angle goes for a chair shot but HHH gets a nice Pedigree. Referee comes back but Stephanie drops an elbow on him and kicks him low. End this please. Two chair shots and an Angle Slam….sends Angle to Mania??? Ah apparently there was a rematch the next night with Stephanie barred from ringside where HHH won, making this rather pointless but whatever.

Rating: D+. It’s better than the last match but not by much. This wasn’t really very good as the overbooking completely took me out of things. It’s not a horrible match but the whole Stephanie aspect just hurt it a lot. Angle and HHH never really clicked as main event guys in their matches against each other and this was no exception. Just not a very good match, but more due to the booking than the people involved.

Angle speeds away for no apparent reason.

Same Mania ad as earlier.

The NWO comes in to be all nice to the Rock and Hogan asks for a picture for his son. Rock of course out talks all of them and cuts one of his promos about Diesel and Ramon. You can’t say he’s not confident here. The Rock vs. Hogan moment was I think the next night.

No real story to Austin vs. Jericho. Austin beat Angle to get the shot and wants the belt. A standard back and forth attack sequence ensued.

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. Chris Jericho

They have a stare down and flip each other off. Feeling out process to start as Jericho runs. As George Foreman said though, you can’t run forever. Jericho is caught and Austin lays waste to him in the corner. In a nice spot Jericho hooks the ropes to avoid a clothesline so Austin just keeps his arm out and runs forward to send him to the floor. Pretty much a worthless opening five minutes.

We head up to the stage or entrance area in this case. Ross says there can’t be count outs because the referee isn’t in the ring. Why can’t they be? Does the referee lose his refereeing powers outside of the ring? Back in the ring now and you can kind of tell that no one really believes the title is changing here. Austin is just not the huge star he was a year ago, although you could say that about the whole company and you would be right.

A low blow allows Jericho to take over and Austin goes to the floor. Ross’ earlier comment is negated as Jericho has to slide into the ring to break the count while the referee is on the floor with them. Ross follows that line up by saying this might be the most important match in Austin’s career. Austin gets a powerslam in the ring as NOTHING of note is going on here. Walls go on as it’s just a Boston Crab here due to neck injuries.

Jericho goes to get a belt but he gets knocked into the referee. This means nothing as he pops back up to count two for Austin. Breakdown is the counter to the Stunner into the belt for another two into a nice pop. Jericho taps to the Walls but, say it with me, no ref. Stunner ends him again and here’s the NWO for the beatdown and Jericho gets the pin for the easy retaining.

Rating: D+. Boring match overall but it had some decent spots. The NWO running in was kind of pointless but it set up the odd choice of Austin vs. Hall at Mania. This wasn’t horrible, but it REALLY needed to be about 5-8 minutes shorter. 20+ minutes of this to just set up the NWO run-in just didn’t do it for me. Could have been worse, but Austin had lost a step by this point and it was clearly starting to show.

More beating down follows and Austin winds up getting spraypainted.

Overall Rating: F+. This was just a bad show overall. I’m not entirely sure how to rate this as it certainly didn’t feel as bad as the ratings I gave it, but this was still pretty bad. With guys like Benoit and Eddie gone at the moment there just wasn’t a lot of talent to go around in the upper midcard spots. The three main matches all more or less sucked due to overbooking and the undercard wasn’t much better.

Just a total mess of a show where nothing of note happened other than a more or less worthless NWO debut. This era wasn’t kind to the company and this show proves that. I mean really, RVD vs. Goldust on PPV? Just a more or less terrible show and definitely not worth seeing.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 14, 2005
Location: Gwinnett Center, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request. If I had known the other one was three weeks after this I’d have swapped the order. Anyway we’re on the Road to Wrestlemania here so expect a lot of HHH dominating the show. I would assume this show was requested because it has the Rockers’ reunion on it. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Highlight Reel. Jericho is on a ladder with a briefcase above him due to the debut of MITB at Mania. Jericho talks about how everyone wants to climb the ladder of success but he’s actually going to do it and will win MITB. His guest tonight has nothing to do with the ladder match though: it’s Randy Orton. He talks about how he’s facing Undertaker at Wrestlemania and how Undertaker is a Hall of Famer. Orton wants to be in the Hall of Fame as well and to do that, he needs to end the Streak. He rattles off some of his career highlights and says he’ll surprise Undertaker on Smackdown.

Jericho says that speaking of surprises, he’s got a surprise guest. Now Jericho has never faced Undertaker at a Wrestlemania, but his guest has. The guest is from Georgia, and it’s Jake Roberts, or rather a huge beer belly with a Jake Roberts attached. We get a LOUD Jake the Snake chant and Roberts, sounding like he smoked about 5 cartons of Marlboros a day, talks about Orton’s heritage. However, he doesn’t know much about Randy. Jake says it’s all about timing and talks about Orton not being champion anymore.

He’s rambling here. Jake is here to do a favor to Cowboy Bob. Roberts says to stop running your mouth. Orton says that facing Undertaker isn’t about winning or losing. It’s about leaving with your soul, which Jake should know something about. Orton says Jake knows about losing, and Orton will make more impact in one win than Jake did in his entire career. Jake goes for the snake but clotheslines Orton instead. Jake loads up the DDT but takes an RKO instead. Jericho was just kind of standing around in the background for this segment.

Kane vs. Christian/Tomko

This is due to last week’s match where Kane beat Christian but Tomko ran him over with a ladder post match. Kane goes after Tomko immediately but Christian jumps him. The team has to tag and the Canadian starts things off. Kane throws him around but it’s off to Tomko who has better luck. Back to Christian as we hear about the Pick Your Poison matches with Batista picking HHH’s opponent (Benoit) and vice versa (not yet picked). A reverse DDT puts Kane down and it’s back to Tomko. Kane sends a cheating Christian into the post and the Canadian walks out. Sidewalk slam, top rope clothesline, chokeslam and we’re done.

Rating: D. This was pretty pointless. Christian has now lost twice heading into Mania, but he has a chance at winning the world title shot still? The match was nothing as Kane was never in any danger whatsoever. I don’t get why so many people want Tomko to come back as Christian’s bodyguard. There’s not much to him.

Post match Christian tries to hit Kane with a ladder but gets glared down. Tomko takes the ladder shot.

Flair talks Snitsky into being Batista’s opponent tonight. Flair says an injury to Batista wouldn’t be Snitsky’s fault. HHH gets Benoit and Batista gets Snitsky? That’s not quite a balanced set.

Lita gives Christy a pep talk and has some guest trainers for her: Regal and Tajiri. They’re the tag team champions and this is the best they can do. Tajiri won’t do it without Christy signing his copy of her Playboy. Tajiri demonstrates some kicks and Christy tries them. Regal gets kicked in the balls. I’m looking and I see no point to this at all.

Shawn is in the back when Marty Jannetty of all people comes up. Marty is facing Angle on Smackdown and Shawn thinks Marty needs a match tonight. Tonight, the Rockers are back against La Resistance.

Edge vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton is IC Champion but this is non-title. Edge jumps Shelton during his entrance and throws him into the stage wall. Edge is pretty freshly heel here so he’s venting his frustrations or something like that. Down to ringside and Shelton is thrown into the steps and barricade. They finally get in the ring but Edge pounds on him even more. The referee checks on Shelton and we finally start the match.

Edge immediately knocks him to the floor and Benjamin is in big trouble. We take a break and come back with Edge holding a chinlock and bodyscissors. Shelton tries to fight back but Edge drops him again. Edge tries to load up a superplex but Shelton knocks him off and hits a top rope clothesline for two. They both hit forearms to put both guys down. Shelton goes off on him and makes his comeback.

Clothesline sets up a backdrop which sets up a Stinger Splash attempt, but Edge ducks. Shelton is like screw crashing and lands on the top rope. He comes off with a sunset flip for two but gets caught in a powerslam for two for the Canadian. Spear misses and the Dragon Whip takes out the referee. Impaler and Exploder Suplex are countered and Edge hits the spear but there’s no referee. Edge goes under the ring and pulls out a ladder, but Jericho runs out and hits Edge with it. Exploder gets the pin.

Rating: B-. Good stuff here as Shelton continued to be completely awesome at this point. Edge was about to become the big time heel that he’s known as, mainly due to the huge Lita/Matt Hardy love triangle feud that would dominate the summer for him. Good match here though as you would expect from these guys.

Rockers vs. La Resistance

This is the Conway/Grenier version. Jannetty and Grenier get us going and after some arm drags by Marty, the EVIL Frenchmen take over. There’s the tag to Shawn and we get some signature Rockers stuff, although Marty can’t do the nip up anymore. Double dives to the floor take La Resistance out but Conway low bridges Shawn to give the heels control. Conway suplexes him for two and it’s back to Grenier. Marty tries to come in and La Resistance hits a Hart Attack of all things for two. Shawn comes back with his forearm and it’s hot tag to Marty. He cleans house and hits the Rocker Dropper on Conway for the pin.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t great or anything but it wasn’t meant to be. This was about having fun and some nostalgia and in that regard, it worked. On top of that, it wasn’t a half bad tag match. Having Marty get the pin was a nice touch because there was nothing for Shawn to gain here. The idea was to have Marty get a warmup for Angle on Smackdown and that worked well here. Good stuff.

Flair tells HHH he’ll make people forget about him tapping out last week when he beats Benoit tonight. HHH gets to pick Batista’s opponent next week.

Maria asks Trish about Lita training Christy for Wrestlemania. Trish isn’t worried and goes off on Maria for it. She says she’ll get Hannibal Lecter to train her because she’s going to eat Christy alive (BIG pop for that). Maria says the Twist of Fate Christy gave Trish was powerful, so Trish massacres Maria.

Flair is with Snitsky again now and gives him a pep talk. Batista pops up and Flair yells at him, so Batista says he’s taking HHH’s title.

HHH vs. Chris Benoit

They go to the mat to start and Benoit pulls him off the ropes to slam the Game into the mat. Off to a headlock followed by chops by Benoit. Benoit tries two quick Crossface attempts but HHH gets to the floor. Flair gets the referee’s attention so HHH can throw a right hand (why would that require a distraction?) which doesn’t work either. Benoit fires off more chops and they go to the floor, with HHH going into the barricade.

Now it’s Benoit going into the barricade and we take a break. Back with a slugout being won by Benoit’s chops, but he gets caught in a spinebuster for two. HHH takes over and puts him on the top rope and they slug it out up there as well. Benoit goes off with headbutts to knock HHH down but the Game crotches him. A superplex puts Benoit down for two and HHH is getting frustrated.

HHH loads up the Pedigree but Benoit counters into a slingshot. They slug it out again and once again Benoit wins with the chops. Here are the Rolling Germans and then a second set of them. Swan Dive gets a very close two. Benoit hits his third series of Rolling Germans, getting the total up to eight. Now he pounds away with right hands in the corner but HHH manages to Irish whip Benoit into the corner.

Both guys are down but HHH gets up first. Pedigree is countered into a failed Sharpshooter so HHH tries again but is countered into the Crossface. HHH rolls out of it like he did at Wrestlemania but this time it actually works. We get MORE German suplexes, bringing the total up to nine I believe. Pedigree attempt #4 leads to counter #4, this time into the Sharpshooter. Flair tries to cheat and gets ejected but the distraction allows HHH to hit Benoit low and Pedigree him for the pin.

Rating: B+. Again, you give talented guys time and you’ll get a good match. These two destroyed each other with those Germans being very awesome. Great match and both guys got in some good stuff. The idea of HHH constantly being outwrestled and countered and having to resort to cheating to win was a great story too. Very fun match.

Hassan and Daivari come out and whine about not being on Wrestlemania. This isn’t over apparently. They weren’t on Mania anyway.

Lita says she’ll teach Christy how to beat Trish. Lita runs into Snitsky who says evil things.

Batista vs. Gene Snitsky

HHH and Flair come out to ringside for this. They stare each other down for awhile and then Batista takes over with the power. He looks down at HHH though and charges into a big boot in the corner. Snitsky goes after the knee and rams it into the post a few times. Back inside Snitsky works on the knee even more and hits a pumphandle powerslam for two. Batista comes back with a spinebuster and loads up the Batista Bomb but Flair comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Boring match even before we got to the lame ending. Flair became downright annoying in this period as he did nothing but praise HHH and interfere in matches related to HHH. Nothing good here but what were you expecting from a Snitsky match? The just just wasn’t that good.

Flair, HHH and Snitsky all get chairs but Kane makes the save. Batista and Kane clear the ring and HHH names Kane as Big Dave’s opponent next week.

Overall Rating: B+. Not much to complain about here other than a somewhat weak main event. It really should have been Benoit vs. HHH to end the show. Anyway, good mix of wrestling, backstage stuff and nostalgia thrown in as well. It doesn’t quite make me want to watch Mania, but by this point I think most people would have already made their decisions. Good show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Lockdown 2013
Date: March 10, 2013
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Todd Keneley, Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the second of four pay per views of the year for TNA and arguably their second biggest show of the year period. The main events tonight are Jeff Hardy defending the world title against Bully Ray inside a cage along with Lethal Lockdown pitting Team TNA against Aces and 8’s. The main question is will we find out who is really behind the bikers tonight as we’ve been waiting for nine months now. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the history between Hardy and Ray and how many matches they’ve had against each other, with none being bigger than tonight. We also hear about Angle vs. Brisco and D’Lo Brown being revealed as the VP of Aces and 8’s.

X-Division Title: Kenny King vs. Christian York vs. Zema Ion

King is defending. York knocks the champion down to start before clotheslining Ion down as well. King goes to the floor to let the other guys fight, only to have York dive out onto him, ramming King into the barricade. Ion loads up a dive of his own but runs into a boot from York. King tries to use Ion’s body as a springboard but slips off and rams his head into the guardrail in a SCARY looking landing. Ion dives on both York and King anyway before heading back inside with York.

Thankfully King is still alive and comes back in to break up a York cover before pounding away on Christian in the corner. Ion is down on the floor as York chops away at King, only to be poked in the eye. Zema comes back in with a quick rana off the top rope for two on York. A moonsault gets the same result and Ion is frustrated.

York hits a quick legdrop on King for two but Ion baseball slides King to the floor. A slingshot into a DDT gets two on York for Ion as King gets back in. Ion is sent out to the entrance ramp where King drops a leg to keep him down. York pulls Ion back inside for two and all three men are back inside. King loads up a top rope fallaway slam on Ion, only to have York add a powerbomb to make it a Tower of Doom. Christian gets control by hammering away on all three guys, including a suplex on King for no cover.

The Mood Swing neckbreaker gets two on Ion for York and a Capo Kick sends King into the corner. In an interesting combo, York DDTs King as Ion neckbreakers York, with Zema getting two on both guys. York hits a top rope double stomp to Ion’s back and a corner roll at King. Kenny comes back with a kick to Ion’s head but York rolls through the Royal Flush for two. Not that it matters as another attempt at the Flush ends York to retain the title at 11:10.

Rating: C. This was good, but at the same time it came off much more like a collection of spots rather than a coherent match. I’m not wild on matches like that, especially when there are that many botches. The one with King at the beginning was scary with him slipping down and nearly breaking his neck in the process. That’s scary stuff.

Joseph Park talks about being ribbed by the fans when Bad Influence comes in, saying Dixie Carter wants to talk to him in catering. Park leaves so Daniels and Kaz say they’re here to win the titles, insisting that they’re not jokes.

Joseph Park vs. Joey Ryan

Before the match, Ryan makes fat jokes about Park and calls him a mark. Ryan says he himself has the size advantage where it matters though. Park says San Antonio rocks and talks about singing karaoke on the River Walk (San Antonio tourist attraction). Ryan runs at him to start but gets caught in an armdrag followed by some chops in the corner. Joey comes back with a middle rope cross body but literally bounces off Park’s chest.

Ryan finally takes Park down and pounds away as the fans are all behind Park here. The match slows down a lot as Ryan slowly pounds away until he hits a missile dropkick for no cover. Park comes back by ripping Joey’s chest hair out and pulling Ryan’s trunks up very hard. A corner splash sets up a middle rope splash but Joey rolls away. Joey tries a sunset flip out of the corner but Park sits on his chest for the pin at 6:05.

Rating: D. This was your standard comedy match minus the comedy. Ryan hasn’t been on TV for months now and it’s pretty easy to see why here. There’s nothing to him at all and he’s very boring in the ring. His character is fine on paper but there’s nothing in the ring to back it up.

We see Jeff Hardy arriving earlier.

Bully and Brooke are in the back and Bully is nervous about the main event. Hulk comes in and Brooke leaves. Hogan says tonight the company could launch to the next level and while Jeff has been good for the time being, Ray could be the launch point to the next level. As for Brooke, Hulk is so glad Bully has made her happy again and he can’t thank Bully enough. Hulk says he wants Ray to win tonight and Ray says he will. Ray promises people will make them remember him tonight.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky

Velvet is defending. Feeling out process to start until the champion hooks a flying headscissors to put Gail down. A neckbreaker gets two for Velvet and she sends Gail to the floor. Back inside Kim gets a quick rollup for two and there’s a running shoulder to the champion’s ribs. Gail gets her in a fireman’s carry and slams her down for two before arguing with referee Terryn Terell. An attempt at a headscissors out of the corner is easily countered by Velvet into a mat slam for no cover.

Some clotheslines and elbows put Kim down again as does a bulldog. A reverse DDT gets two for Velvet and Gail is staggered. As she gets up she grabs Terell, allowing Gail to hit Eat Defeat for two. Gail shoves Terryn in the corner before slapping her, begging to be disqualified. Instead Terryn spears Gail down and beats her up, allowing Velvet to hit In Yo Face for the pin at 7:38.

Rating: D. I do not like women’s wrestling. Terrell looks GREAT in the little black shorts and that’s all I’ve got here. Oh and Gail Kim is perhaps the least interesting human being on the face of this planet. Therefore, let’s make sure to push her to the freaking moon and back for years on end.

Robbie E complains about Robbie T holding him down for two years. Tonight, Robbie is going to make his former bro his ho.

We recap Robbie E vs. Robbie T, which comes down to Robbie T getting tired of Robbie E abusing him, making tonight about revenge.

Robbie E vs. Robbie T

Robbie E wants a timeout to start and there’s a hug attempt. Robbie T doesn’t seem interested and shoves E down with ease. E does some stretches in the corner before trying a headlock. That goes very badly for E and a one handed top wristlock puts E down. A single leg takedown doesn’t work at all so T launches him up into the air. T grabs him by the throat but E slaps his way out of it. E grabs a fast armbar before hooking a sleeper. T finally breaks the hold and catches E’s cross body with ease. A fireman’s carry into a spinebuster ends E at 5:50.

Rating: D+. This was what it was supposed to be but it doesn’t make for a good match. T has never been great but instead of being a comedy guy, he should be allowed to be a monster as he always should have been. Also thankfully this time there’s no Orlando Jordan for a stupid feud to derail any momentum he gets going.

Aries says he’s ready to go tonight without Bobby Roode…but here’s Bobby Roode so they’ll be ok tonight.

Tag Titles: Bad Influence vs. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries

Roode and Aries are defending. It’s Chavo vs. Daniels to start things off with Daniels running him over early on. A backdrop puts Daniels down and everything breaks down, resulting in Hernandez and Chavo clearing the ring. Hernandez is in legally now against Daniels and there’s an overhead belly to belly to put Daniels down. Off to Chavo for a seated dropkick to Daniels before Kaz comes in to get beaten down as well.

Back to Hernandez who gets two off a splash on Kaz. A Daniels distraction allows Kazarian to hit a missile dropkick to take Hernandez down and Bad Influences double teams the big man (Hernandez) for a bit. Aries breaks up a pin attempt before Hernandez counters a double suplex into one of his own, putting down both members of Bad Influence. Off to Chavo again for Three Amigos on all four opponents in a cool visual.

Things settle down again with Daniels pounding away on Chavo. Kazarian comes in to take over but Roode tags himself in, bringing in the champions for the first time. Roode and Aries double team Chavo down with a double suplex, drawing in Bad Influence for the save. Roode fires away some shoulders into the ribs of Chavo before Aries hits a dropkick to the back for two.

Roode launches Chavo into the corner via a catapult but Chavo punches Aries in the air in a nice counter. A double clothesline puts Roode and Chavo down, but Chavo can’t make the hot tag to SuperMex. Chavo and Hernandez are sent to the floor, causing a fourway brawl between the other guys in the match. We wind up with Aries and Kaz who both try cross bodies to put them both down. Chavo hits a top rope cross body on both guys, followed by a double clothesline from Hernandez. Aries is LAUNCHED into the air and down to the mat with a thud before another double clothesline takes down Aries and Kaz.

Hernandez hits a double backbreaker on Aries and Kaz, getting a double countout on Austin. A big shoulder block puts Aries down but Daniels hits an STO on Hernandez to take him down. Roode hits the release Rock Bottom on Daniels but Kaz takes him down with a slingshot DDT. Fade to Black is escaped though and there’s the spinebuster from Roode to Kaz.

Daniels and Roode slug it out but Hernandez takes both guys down with a dive from the ramp to the ring. Daniels is caught in an Alpha Bomb from Hernandez but Kaz breaks up Chavo’s frog splash. Aries shoves Kaz off the top and ranas himself and SuperMex to the floor. Daniels tries a superplex on Chavo but gets shoved down, allowing for a top rope splash, but Roode tagged himself in and steals the pin to retain at 17:22.

Rating: B. As usual these matches have no build to them but they wind up being the most entertaining matches on the card. TNA has gotten really good at this formula and Bad Influence is especially awesome at them. The match was the usual entertaining stuff here but I’d like a story and some fresh blood soon.

We look at the Knockouts Title match again with Terrell getting involved.

Terrell is in the back and says she made a judgment call when Gail jumps her and a brawl breaks out.

The cage is being set up.

Slammiversary is in Boston.

D’Lo Brown says Doc is starting Lethal Lockdown.

Angle says he’s beating up Brisco tonight.

We recap Angle vs. Brisco. Wes Brisco was mentored by Angle but now wants to prove that the Brisco Family is better than Kurt Angle. Brisco is also in Aces and 8’s.

Kurt Angle vs. Wes Brisco

You can win by pin, submission or escape. Kurt suplexes him down to start before Wes comes back with shoulders in the corner. Wes tries to escape but gets suplexed out of the corner with ease. Angle pounds away but misses a charge in the corner, ramming his head into the cage. Wes pounds away and puts on a chinlock before Angle fires off some elbows to the ribs to escape. That gets him nowhere though as Wes flapjacks him down for two.

Brisco charges into a boot in the corner and there’s a missile dropkick from Angle for two. Angle starts firing off clotheslines and suplexes before slamming Wes into the cage. Now it’s time for Rolling Germans with Angle not letting go no matter what. Angle goes up but a top rope splash misses, allowing Wes to take over with right hands.

The Angle Slam out of nowhere puts Wes down but Brisco starts crawling for the door. Angle pulls him back in with the ankle lock but Wes rolls him through into the cage. Brisco tries to climb out but Angle catches him on the top. They slug it out on the top rope with Angle slamming Wes’ head into the cage over and over again. Angle busts out a German off the top rope to put both guys down again.

Wes escapes the Angle Slam and Kurt accidentally clotheslines the referee. There’s the ankle lock with a grapevine to make Wes tap but there’s no referee. Angle hits another Angle Slam and flips Brisco off before escaping the cage. There’s still no referee though but D’Lo Brown runs out and rams Kurt into the cage and throws him back in. Wes escapes the cage and wins at 11:58.

Rating: C+. In less than twelve minutes, Brisco showed me more than Garrett Bischoff has in the last year and a half. The match itself was good because that’s what Angle does, but the ending was pretty easy to guess, especially given the stuff that happened on Thursday. Again though, it’s still D’Lo Brown which brings things down for me.

We recap the entire history of Aces and 8’s which is a very long story to say the least. Basically they’re at war against Sting and Hogan for no apparent reason and after nine months, we’re going into Lethal Lockdown with TNA vs. Aces and 8’s.

Lethal Lockdown

TNA: Sting, Magnus, Samoa Joe, Eric Young, James Storm

Aces and 8’s: Mr. Anderson, D-Von, Doc, Mike Knux, Garrett Bischoff

This has some interesting rules. Two men (Anderson and Magnus) start things off and fight for three minutes. After those three minutes, Aces and 8’s (they won a series of matches on Thursday) get a man advantage for two minutes. Then TNA sends in its second man to even it up for two minutes. Aces and 8’s then get another advantage for two more minutes. They alternate until everyone is in and then it’s one fall to a finish.

Magnus pounds Anderson down in the corner to start before hitting a clothesline. Anderson sends him into the cage though to take over as we have less than a minute before someone else comes in. Off to a chinlock by Anderson to kill the time until Knux makes it 2-1. Also remember that the match can’t end until all ten men are in the match. A sidewalk slam and legdrop floor Magnus as this is one sided so far.

Samoa Joe is in to tie things up and TNA takes over for a bit. The former tag champions continue to work well together by taking the bikers apart. Anderson and Knux are beaten down until Garrett Bischoff comes in to make it 3-2. The fans tell Garrett that he can’t wrestle as Magnus and Joe beat him up as well. Anderson and Knux finally get up and save their partner as Eric Young is in to make it 3-3. Oh wait he has to strip first.

As is the case with every other period, the team with the latest man in takes over. D-Von is in to make it 4-3 Aces and 8’s and the numbers game takes over for the bikers again. Joe fights back with some palm shots to Anderson in the corner but D-Von knocks him down again to take over. The fans want Sting but they get James Storm instead. Storm cleans house with Closing Times and Last Calls but they don’t mean much at this point.

House continues to be cleaned until Doc is in to round out Aces and 8’s. Doc takes over for Team TNA with his power stuff and the match slows down a lot. Here’s Sting with two garbage cans full of weapons to finalize things, meaning it’s now one fall to a finish. Team TNA takes over with a bunch of weapon shots as I guess there’s no roof this year for a change. It’s all Team TNA at this point as the match slows down a bit. Garrett Bischoff gets worn out by Joe via a trashcan.

Sting holds Anderson for Young but Young almost hits Sting by mistake. The break lets the bikers take over with Doc chokeslamming Young. Magnus and Storm come back to take over, sending Garrett running to the top of the cage. They chase after him, resulting in I think Doc and Knux making the save. Joe powerbombs ALL FIVE GUYS down in a big Tower of Doom before putting Anderson in an STF but Doc makes the save. TNA takes over again with Sting hitting the Death Drop on Knox, but he doesn’t cover. Instead he sends Young to the top of the cage for an elbow drop for the pin at 26:27.

Rating: B. The problem of the ring being too small to hold ten guys still exists, but as someone with a bad fear of heights I’m very glad to see them not have the roof on the cage. It’s a risk they just don’t need to take and the Tower of Doom spot was more than able to make up for it. Very solid match here but Aces and 8’s continue to fall further into the abyss.

The announcers bicker a bit.

Jeff Hardy is a 51-49% favorite to win the main event via a fan poll.

We recap the main event, which is based on the history these two have and Ray wanting to finally win the big one on his own.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Bully Ray

In the cage of course with Hardy defending. Tenay says Ray has a 50+ pound weigh advantage about a minute after Ray is announced at 275 to Hardy’s 227. Feeling out process to start with Ray running Hardy over with a hard shoulder. A quick slam gets two for Ray and the champion bails to the corner. Hardy fights back with the Whisper in the Wind for two but can’t escape as Ray rams Hardy’s leg into the cage.

Ray starts a slow and methodical offense by working over the champion’s ribs and back. A big backdrop gets two for Ray but Jeff gets in a shot to earn himself a breather. The Twist and the Bubba Bomb are both countered but the second attempt at the Twist of Fate connects. Cue Wes Brisco and Garrett Bischoff into the cage but Jeff and Bully run them over. Bully lets himself be a springboard for Poetry in Motion before throwing both bikers out.

They slug it out in the middle of the ring with Jeff actually taking over. A flying forearm takes Bully down and there’s a low dropkick for two. Hardy tries to climb out but Ray makes the save and they slug it out on the top rope. Hardy kicks Ray in the head but falls to the mat, allowing Ray to fall off the top onto Jeff for a VERY close two. The Twist staggers Bully but as Jeff goes up, Ray hits a HUGE sitout powerbomb out of the corner to put both guys down.

Ray covers for two and the fans are split. Cue the Hogans to watch the main event from ringside to cheer on Bully. Ray gets to his feet very slowly but here are Aces and 8’s. Ray stands up and has a chain as the bikers come in. To the shock of not many people, Ray is thrown a hammer by D-Von and clubs down Jeff to win the title, revealing himself as the leader at 17:20.

Rating: B-. That powerbomb alone was worth the whole match. The ending isn’t really all that surprising but at least Aces and 8’s have FINALLY done something of note. Bully Ray as world champion of a major company in 2013 is a huge gamble to say the least, but it appears that we’re heading to Hogan vs. Ray down the line. To call that a gamble is an even shorter stretch but it’s what we appear to be getting.

Ray demands that his hand be raised post match as the Hogans are all sad. He yells at Brooke and calls her nothing while telling Hulk that he’s a worthless old man. Ray says he used the Hogans and trash is thrown into the ring. He admits that he’s the President of the Aces and 8’s and that he’s world champion. The Dudleys embrace end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The problem for this show is that out of eight matches, four of them were as worthless as you can get. The first hour or so of this show did nothing at all and I was bored out of my mind for a lot of it. The good thing is that the other four matches were all quite good and the ending was a nice surprise, especially given that I didn’t know what to expect for the most part. Good show here for the most part, but the lower card is a death trap right now.

Results

Kenny King b. Zema Ion and Christian York – Royal Flush to York

Joseph Park b. Joey Ryan – Seated Senton

Velvet Sky b. Gail Kim – In Yo Face

Robbie T b. Robbie E – Spinebuster

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode b. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez and Bad Influence – Roode pinned Daniels after a splash from Guerero

Wes Brisco b. Kurt Angle – Brisco escaped the cage

Team TNA b. Aces and 8’s – Elbow drop off the top of the cage to Knux

Bully Ray b. Jeff Hardy – Pin after hitting Hardy with a hammer

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

It’s arguably the second biggest show of the year and I can’t say I’m thrilled for it.  The show is at the Alamodome which had over 60,000 people in it for the 1997 Royal Rumble, but I don’t think they’re going to get that many this time.  Let’s get to it.To begin with, we’ll look at the world title match, which has one major problem:

Why are they fighting? It’s been made clear that the only reason Ray has gotten this shot is because he’s Hulk’s son in law. Ray didn’t win a big match, he hasn’t beaten anyone in a singles match lately (his last televised one on one win was against Jesse Godderz. Before then, his last singles win on TV was in SEPTEMBER when he beat Aries, as in the guy he lost to on PPV in December), he and Hardy have no personal issue, and Ray has barely been around him due to feuding with Aces and 8’s. Hardy was gone for a month and is just now back in action but he hasn’t had much interaction with Ray either.

At the end of the day, Ray hasn’t earned this shot and hasn’t won anything of note lately, Hardy hasn’t done anything to Ray, and they don’t hate each other.  What is the interest in seeing them fight?

For a prediction I’ll take Hardy to retain, as all signs point to Bully winning and turning heel.  Since that would make sense, we’ll say it won’t happen.  Also it would make Hogan look stupid and we can’t have that.

Next up is Lethal Lockdown which brings us to Aces and 8’s.  Let me try to get through this as fast as I can so I don’t have to think about them.  Aces and 8’s is probably the worst major stable in company history.  From taking FOREVER to reveal a member to having D-Von and Anderson as their top names to having D’Lo Freaking Brown revealed as their second in command, they have nothing going for them and they haven’t in the NINE MONTHS they’ve been around.   At the end of the day, we have no idea why they’re doing what they’re doing and there’s no sign that such information is coming anytime soon.  The whole story is a disaster.

The ONLY chance they have at salvaging it is to win Lethal Lockdown while revealing a big name as their boss.  The problem with that is all signs point to either Jeff Jarrett or Eric Bischoff being the boss, which doesn’t do much good.  The problem is we’ve seen them both lead massive stables before so it would be the same warmed over stuff we’ve seen before with lower level names and far more damage coming in.

As for the match, I’ll take the bikers but given how things have been going, I’ll expect them to lose.

Kurt Angle beats Wes Brisco despite a ton of help from Aces and 8’s.  If that happens, the bikers win Lethal Lockdown.

I’ll take Roode and Aries to keep the belts.  It’s way too early for them to lose.  Either way, for the love of all things good and holy, PLEASE don’t put them back on Chavo and Hernandez.  I can’t take that again.

Velvet keeps her title.  I can’t take more Gail Kim on top either.

Robbie T destroys Robbie E of course.

I’ll take Kenny King to retain and Joseph Park to beat Joey Ryan.  You haven’t heard of these matches?  Most people haven’t either, but that’s because TNA is awful at setting up a PPV card and they added these matches in at the last second to fill in some time.

 

Overall Lockdown is a very uninspiring show.  Between the lackluster world title match and Aces and 8’s dragging things down,   This isn’t a show that I’m thrilled with watching but TNA has surprised me before.  Grnated they’ve also had some of the worst shows I’ve ever seen but hopefully that won’t be the case here.

 

Thoughts/Predictions?

I kid you not,D’lo Brown.  I’m literally laughing out loud at how stupid this company is.

On Impact Angle unmasked the second in command and was shocked at who he saw.  He said “how could you” as he looked down at the guy, which means it’s someone we’ve probably known all along.  The most likely suspects are:Hogan: He’s a suspect for the leader of any heel stable because that’s the best idea TNA can come up with.

Joe: It would be a swerve, which is what TNA does most often.  It wouldn’t make sense but it would be the most likely pick probably.

Park/Abyss: Again it would be a surprise, but can you picture either character as the leader of a biker gang?

Bully Ray: Yeah he was in the ring on a live show seconds before this happened, but why should that stop them?

Brooke: Not the size, but if it gets Brooke a more prominent role on TV, why not do it?

Matt Morgan: He popped up on Impact for the first time in months at the same time the VP arrived, which sounds to be too much to be a coincidence to me.

D’Lo Brown: He’s been mentioned for months as a member of the team and there were small hints to it being him months ago, but to call this an underwhelming development would be the understatement of all time.

Eric Bischoff: Same reason as Hulk.

AJ Styles: The motorcycle he rode off on would seem to be a clue, but AJ was doing fine when the whole story started which would make a lot less sense.  it would however give us a top star in Aces and 8’s, which is what they need more than anything.

Jeff Jarrett: He’s been mentioned as a potential leader for months but why would that shock Angle, who has feuded on and off with Jarrett for years now?

 

At the end of the day, I’m going with either Joe or Park as VP with Eric Bischoff winding up as the leader/mastermind of the whole thing.  Not that either of them would be a great pick, but this is TNA where the reveals of leaders are rarely anything good.

 

Thoughts/predictions?