Final Resolution 2008 (January)
Date: January 6, 2008
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

 

This is the last 2008 show I have before I plow into 2007 in a few weeks. The main event is Angle defending against Christian and that’s about it. There’s also what was supposed to be the midcard title in TNA as the World Beer Drinking Championship is defended by Eric Young against Eric Young. This is the January edition of Final Resolution 2008 as somehow TNA managed to have the same PPV twice in a year with one being called Final on the 6^th day of the year. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is about how the show called FINAL is about how everything is new. This is set to Ride of the Valkyries. The video talks about the major matches such as Christian vs. Angle and Gail vs. Kong.

 

LAX vs. Rock and Rave Infection

 

There’s some masked chick beating up Christy (Infection’s manager) recently and she’s part of LAX. I guess that’s the main reason this is happening? Rave vs. Homicide starts us off. They fly around the ring a bit and Rave gets two off La Majistral. Homicide gets caught in the corner and Rock (Lance Rock and Jimmy Rave) throws him around with a fallaway slam. Hernandez comes in for the power match and in short, SuperMex wins.

 

Rave stops Homicide on the apron and hits an STO but almost as fast as he hits the floor, SuperMex dives over the top to take out both members of the Infection. This is going REALLY fast. Rave gets beaten down with double teaming but Rock gets in to break up a Doomsday Device style move. SuperMex is sent to the floor so now the Infection gets to double team. Dig that mirroring of each other.

 

Hernandez comes back in and hits the Crackerjack (their name not mine) which is a belly to belly over head choke throw. Hoyt, who is like 6’7, goes up for a moonsault press on Hernandez. Homicide gets back up and hits the tope con hilo to Rock. Hernandez sets for the Border Toss to Rave but Christy makes the save. Rave tries something off the top but gets crotched and Hernandez hits a middle rope Border Toss to kill Rave dead for the pin.

 

Rating: C-. It was fast paced and kind of exciting but it was so totally incoherent that it was hard to keep up with and it had no flow at all. I’ve seen worse to be sure but this was nothing interesting and nothing we haven’t see a million times. The Infection was worthless other than Christy looking great as the good looking rock chick.

 

The masked chick appears again and it’s Salinas, more famous as Shelly Martinez.

 

Here’s part one of the Drinking Championship Series. They’re playing Never Have I Ever. Storm lies about everything with Storm claiming to having killed a lion with his bare hands, caused the Detroit riots of 1967 (he was born in June of 77) and to have been to the moon.

 

AJ says he’s going to pick the Angle Alliance or the Christian Coalition tonight. AJ was portrayed as a total moron at this point where both guys were trying to lure him to their teams. He and Tomko are tag champions and Tomko says AJ is out of time.

 

We recap Kaz vs. Black Reign. Basically Reign is the alter ego of Dustin Rhodes and Dustin says he has no idea he’s going it. The fact that the guy looked just like Goldust made this even stupider.

 

Kaz vs. Black Reign

 

Kaz hits a jumping back elbow off the middle rope and then a clothesline off the apron to the floor. Reign misses a charge and Kaz kicks him to the entrance ramp. Reign looks exactly like Goldust but with black and gray instead of black and gold. Oh and he’s a lot fatter now. He kicks Kaz off the ramp and takes over with his usual slow and boring offense.

 

Basically Reign has taken the look of Goldust and taken out the interest and workrate and added in the offense of Dustin Rhodes. Off to the chinlock to keep things riveting. A diamond stunner gets two for Reign. This is one of those matches that started out interesting and has shifted into one where I could show it to Alex DeLarge while his eyes were held open.

 

They both try cross bodies but collide to put them both down. Kaz fires off some rapid kicks which help a bit. Gee what a shock: a young non-Texas cowboy gets on offense and the match instantly gets better. He does that in the corner but dives out to the apron for a slingshot DDT for two. Spinning legdrop misses but whatever the Curtain Call is known as is reversed into a spinning downward spiral for the pin.

 

Rating: D. With Kaz on offense it’s watchable but Dustin is just so boring when he’s in control and it cripples the rest of the match whenever it’s happening. This was boring almost the whole way through and it didn’t work at all. Reign would become a monster along with Rellik soon, resulting in one of the stupidest angles I’ve ever seen.

 

Kaz steals Reign’s rat post match.

 

JB is with Angle and Karen and he (JB) is freaking out about AJ. Angle says chill and reminds JB he’s an interviewer. Karen says chill because it’s all cool. JB answers to Karen saying honey. She has a plan to take care of AJ and leaves. Kurt sends JB after him.

 

We recap Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong. She beat Kong for the first championship and Kong has been hunting for her since. Tonight it’s No DQ for the title.

 

Knockout Title: Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong

 

We’re on the floor almost immediately and Kong is all crazy and strong. She tries to Awesome Bomb Gail through the table but Gail fights out of it. Back inside and Kong chokes away with the boot. Off to a sleeper and Kong spins her around while still having the hold on. Gail gets up on the top but is caught by a spinning backfist and she’s almost out cold. Total massacre so far.

 

Gail is holding her knee after falling. I’m sorry for the play by play but there’s nothing to say here as it’s more or less a squash so far. They go into the crowd and Gail fires off some right hands but that gets her tossed around. Kim fires off more shots but can’t hurt Kong. She manages to find a weapon though. Gail gets her hands on the most lethal thing she can: an empty plastic Coke bottle. She whacks Kong a few times with it and Kong sells for some reason.

 

Gail makes Kong miss and the big chick crashes into a wall. Kong’s arm is sent into the post and a chair is kicked into her face. This is almost like Vader vs. Flair at Starrcade 93 as Gail absorbed the beating to open the match and had to keep hammering away until she got in a shot somehow to break the momentum. Back inside the spinning backfist takes Kim down and all that work Gail did seems to be forgotten.

 

Awesome Bomb is countered into a sunset flip which is countered into a missed drop. Kim goes up and does one of those moves where the whole point is to jump into a move and it looks really stupid as she lands in a chokeslam. Not happy with a count, Kong hits an Awesome Bomb on the referee and it’s the fat one. Gail gets a chair and cracks Kong three times with it to put her down. A top rope splash hits but there’s no referee. Oh wait yes there is and it gets two. Gail walks into another chokeslam for two and Kong is mad. She goes to Awesome Bomb the other referee but Kim rolls her up for the pin to retain.

 

Rating: B. See, this is the big difference between the Divas and the Knockouts. The Divas have matches that are supposed to be impressive because they involve girls. The Knockouts have matches that are like regular matches but happen to have participants who look good in tight shorts. This could have been good with men or women in it, which is a great sign.

 

Karen goes to look for AJ in the men’s room. She finds him and says she wants to relieve him of his tension. ODB walks out of a stall and kills the move. See she’s cool because she’s gross and acts like a man. It’s good right? She leaves and Karen kisses AJ on the cheek and sex is implied.

 

We recap Abyss vs. Judas Mesias which is part of the WAY too long story of Abyss vs. James Mitchell. At this point I’m not sure what we know but we would find out that Mitchell is Abyss’ father and he shot Mitchell in the head, sending him to prison. Mitchell got him out of prison and brought in his other son, Abyss’ step brother, for a war.

 

Mitchell says there’s a secret only he and Abyss know which must be that Abyss is the son.

 

Judas Mesias vs. Abyss

 

Abyss seems happy to just hit running forearms that are supposed to be clotheslines. Mesias isn’t a very big guy. We head to the floor quickly and Abyss’ leg is wrapped around the post. Psychology in an Abyss match? Now I’ve seen everything. Mesias puts on a knee bar but his finisher, Straight to Hell, misses. Abyss looks for tacks and Mitchell tiptoes away. I was wrong: I hadn’t seen a man in a purple suit tiptoe away with a bag of tacks.

 

Mesias gets up on the steps and poses before…stepping down off the steps. He jumps into a chokeslam position back in the ring. The knee is ok enough for a running splash by Abyss. Sidewalk slam gets two. A chair gets wedged between the top and middle rope. It takes a bit but Mesias’ cabeza finally goes into it and a chokeslam gets two. Mitchell is back now with a different bag than he left with.

 

Abyss finds a barbed wire chair. Remember when Punk was on commentary on Raw and said security around here sucks? Well refereeing around TNA sucks harder. The distraction from that chair lets Mesias get a regular chair shot in to Abyss’ head and a top rope splash for two. Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam but Mitchell has the referee. Mesias spryas blood into Abyss’ face and the Straight to Hell (jumping downward spiral) puts Abyss onto the barbed wire chair for the academic pin.

 

Rating: C-. Eh it’s a big brawl with weapons featuring Abyss. This happens on almost every show they have so it’s not exactly something that you can get excited about. Mesias wouldn’t be around for very long and he was only there as a piece in this feud which went on for like two years. Either way, not horrible but just another Abyss hardcore match minus the hardcore rules.

 

Post match Mitchell wants to know if Abyss wants to tell the truth and Abyss says no. Mesias pulls a gas can out of the bag and it’s barbecue time. Security breaks it up.

 

Nash says that even though he and Joe aren’t the best of friends but he’ll try to make money. He also hits on the interviewer who seems interested. Dinner is implied.

 

We recap Booker/Sharmell vs. Miss Brooks (Traci)/Robert Roode. Roode was a VERY boring DiBiase knockoff and I never got the appeal of him as a singles guy around this time. His current singles run is better but this is still the stigma he has to him. It’s a mixed tag tonight.

 

Booker and Sharmell say she’s not a wrestler but she can fight.

 

Sharmell/Booker T vs. Miss Brooks/Robert Roode

 

Peyton Banks, a currently unnamed but hot big chested blonde, is stalking Roode as his biggest fan. Roode stalls a lot after the bell and I think the genders have to match. After the frist few minutes we don’t have much going on. Everyone is waiting on the catfight and it doesn’t help that Roode wasn’t nearly as good as he would become in a few years after he and Storm tore up the tag division. Booker controls to start before Roode takes over with some basic stuff like a DDT.

 

Booker fires off a hook kick and Roode looks a little loopy. They kind of botch a leapfrog and Roode hits a bad dropkick to put Booker down. Traci won’t help Roode cheat because Roode is forcing her to do all this stuff. She finally trips Booker to get one of the girls involved after about 5 minutes. Sharmell still hasn’t done anything yet. Off to a chinlock and the fans aren’t impressed.

 

The side kick misses and Booker gets hung up on the ropes. Roode hits the Blockbuster to finally get the crowd going a bit. By a bit I mean they stop chanting boring for a few seconds. Roode wants Traci to slap Booker but almost cries when she has to do it. SHARMELL IS IN!!! Oh wait it’s just one foot. The girls have been worthless here. Roode goes over to yell at her and slaps her hand away which is deemed a tag. We get into a catfight and Roode is on the apron. Sharmell shoves her into Roode and rolls her up for the pin. The girls were in for about 45 seconds.

 

Rating: D-. Hey TNA, if the girls aren’t very good in the ring, DON’T HAVE THEM BE IN THE MATCH!!! I know Sharmell isn’t a wrestler but that’s why she’s not in the ring often. The match was boring on top of that as Roode just wasn’t an interesting guy at this point. He’s only a bit more interesting now which is why I’m skeptical about his singles push. Either way, bad match but more boring than bad.

 

Post match Roode goes off on Traci and slaps him. He gets in her face in the corner and Sharmell goes in for the save. Roode accidentally punches her and Booker FREAKS. Make that everyone freaks. This feud would go on for like 4 more months.

 

The interviewer is freaking about the punch and Christian is a great jerk, saying yeah it’s tragic now ask me some questions already. He says he doesn’t need any help tonight and says that AJ has potential. Yeah AJ at this point was treated like a bumbling idiot and a midcard guy despite being a three time world champion. Christian says Karen’s seductions aren’t going to work.

 

Time for more of the Drinking Championships which is who can hold more beer in their bladders. You figure out the rest of it. Young wins and this was a waste of about 90 seconds.

 

We recap the X Division vs. Team 3D/Johnny Devine. Lethal is the X Champion and tonight it’s an Ultimate X match for honor. Not for the title which Devine stole the possession of, but for honor.

 

Motor City Machineguns/Jay Lethal vs. Team 3D/Johnny Devine

 

I can’t get this company at times. Devine stole the belt from the champion Lethal and the title is hanging above the ring. However, this isn’t for the title. Seriously, how stupid can this company get? There’s another stupid reason that I’ll get to after the match. Just to further the idiocy, Tenay and West are all somber about Sharmell and her injury and then during 3D’s entrance video you can hear them laughing.

 

Ray talks about how they’ve been training for this and they’re in great shape. This goes on for awhile because Devine has to climb up and hang the belt. FINALLY Lethal’s music cuts him off. The guns hit the ring and we’re ready to go. Both of the Guns have hand injuries due to Team 3D thinking about something than peach cobbler for once. The heels take over quickly and it’s already table time.

 

Make that two tables for a double powerbomb but Lethal makes the save. Shelley goes for the belt but hit hands give out. Sabin takes Bubba out with a springboard clothesline but he can’t climb either. Lethal is fine and gets about halfway but Devine makes the save. Devine has some very unattractive thighs. He also gets dropped on the back of his head but the Guns as they spin him off the cables. That looked painful.

 

Team 3D tries to jump to reach the title but they have a combined six inch vertical leap. The fans chant ECW but no, ECW wasn’t this dumb. Ray goes up to a corner but Lethal gets out in front of him. Instead of TURNING AROUND AND TAKING THE FREAKING BELT, he makes fun of Ray and falls down. Good. He deserves to fall on his stupid head.

 

Ray tries a Macho Elbow (called a legdrop by West which is more accurate as the leg would have hit instead of the elbow) but he’s too fat and it takes too long. Devine gets something like a Codebreaker to Lethal and goes up but is caught in an atomic drop from the top by Shelley. A slingshot DDT by Sabin leaves the Guns in control for maybe 3 seconds. Shelley gets his hands cracked again by Ray and a kendo stick as does Sabin.

 

We get an old Superfly/Andre moment as D-Von gets on Ray’s shoulders but the real Cruiserweights make the save. D-Von, Lethal and Devine try a triple person tower spot and it looks AWFUL as Lethal lands on his head after being on top. There goes the referee because gimmick matches need ref bumps.

 

Ray uses the chance to get a ladder which is said to be against an unwritten rule by Mike. Ok so ladders are officially legal. Got it. The Guns make the save but here’s Devine with the kendo stick again. He goes up the ladder but Sabin shoves him off, onto the tables. THE TABLES DON’T BREAK and Devine bounces off of them. FREAKING OW MAN!!!

 

Sabin walks into a 3D from 3D and Lethal shows how stupid he is by springboarding into two guys holding a ladder. Guess what happens there. D-Von goes up and gets the belt but there’s no ref. The referee asks the fans if he cheated and the fans say he did but it’s good enough I guess.

 

Rating: C-. Ultimate X gets points because it’s Ultimate X but this had so many stupid moments to it that it took me out of the match. From stuff like Lethal taunting Ray when he could have won the match to the match not being for the title to the ladder deal and the match being pretty boring by comparison to other matches.

 

That other stupid reason I mentioned? Devine won the title on Impact about 11 days after this. SO WHY WOULDN’T THEY HAVE HIM WIN IT HERE??? Sweet merciful cheese this company is stupid.

 

We recap the tag title match which is Joe/Nash vs. Tomko/AJ. The idea was that at Turning Point, Hall no showed the event and Joe cut a mostly shoot promo about how the “superstars” were taking the pay and the limelight while the wrestlers weren’t out there at all because the old guys won’t let them. Nash said Joe wasn’t ready yet and this is borderline shoot in its own right. Cornette decided to make a tag title match for some reason, which was what Joe was complaining about so I’m not sure how the fat boy wins here but whatever.

 

Joe says he and Nash care cool and maybe he was wrong about Hall and Nash. He also wants it to be about wrestling and not about drama.

 

Tag Titles: Samoa Joe/Kevin Nash vs. Tomko/AJ Styles

 

AJ and Joe go to the mat quickly and it’s a stalemate. Joe grabs a leg lock but AJ makes a rope. Tag off to Nash who had some good matches with AJ so this should be interesting. AJ starts making him miss and goes for the knee. Tomko tags himself in and the knee still doesn’t work well for Nash. Off to a leg lock as I guess we’re hoping for a hot tag to Joe later. I’m not sure if Nash is the right guy to work the majority of a match but whatever.

 

Nash manages to grab a side slam on Tomko so hopefully we’ll get a tag soon. Ah good there’s fat boy against Styles so this is almost automatically good. The Samoan hits a Samoan on Tomko and Nash’s knee is suddenly fine as he can hit a big boot. AJ takes Joe down with a springboard dropkick and Tomko chokes away. AJ does his leapfrog/hit the mat/dropkick sequence.

 

Tomko back in and it’s chinlock time. I think Joe thinks it’s hot fudge sundae time. AJ comes in for a bridging Indian Deathlock but Joe breaks that quickly as AJ isn’t Samoan nor a submission machine. Tomko gets a DDT for two. It’s probably a good thing Joe is doing most of the work here as there’s not a ton you can do with a guy Nash’s size, namely because he’s just too tall.

 

AJ rakes the eyes but Joe clocks him. Styles is knocked to the apron and tries a springboard rana but Joe kills him with a powerbomb. Tomko takes Nash down and and Joe takes Tomko down with a scoop powerslam. Joe goes to tag Nash and Nash walks out. It’s one of those matches. Joe escapes the champs’ double team finisher (Tornadoplex) and has to fight for his life (say it’s his supper and he’ll REALLY fight).

 

He gets a MuscleBuster on AJ but Tomko saves, drawing a Thank You Tomko chant. Even the fans are tired of the wacky tag partners and I can’t say I’m particularly disagreeing with them. I’m not sure why Joe would want to be Nash’s partner but I guess pride or something. The numbers catch up to Joe and the Tornadoplex (side slam/neckbreaker combo) ends this.

 

Rating: D+. Boring match all around as the whole point was Joe and Nash don’t get along but they got along for about five minutes. This is a TNA/WCW standard: get to the PPV and then TUNE INTO NITRO to find out why all this happened. This is another feud that went on for months and this was just another small stop in that feud. Not much to see here but it was watchable.

 

We now get the final part of the Drinking Championship, all of which is happening yesterday/last night. They’re playing high low with cards and the loser has to take a shot, first to pass out loses. Jackie flashes Eric and Storm spikes his drink to win. This was so stupid. This means Storm gets a match of his choice at Against All Odds against Young. He picked a…..wait for it……wait for it…..A NORMAL MATCH!!!

 

JB tells Kurt about what Karen did earlier and Kurt isn’t happy. Angle says he’ll win.

 

We recap Angle vs. Christian. Ok so basically both guys are fighting over who gets Tomko and AJ and both of them are being recruited I guess. Tomko picked Angle and AJ hasn’t picked anyone yet which is the running story on this show. It’s heel vs. heel for the most part here…I think.

 

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Christian Cage

 

Angle’s eyes are weird looking here and it looks like he has eyeliner on. The fans are all over Angle here so I guess Christian is face by default. Christian tries to wrestle Kurt and that goes badly. He tries a headlock instead and manages to escape a belly to belly. Angle gets him on the mat and hooks an arm trap headlock. They have a lot of time so this slow start is fine.

 

Christian hits a flapjack for his first big move and slaps the back of Kurt’s head to tick him off. Unprettier is countered and we hit the mat again. Christian gets up and we go to the floor with Christian hitting that big dive that he’s known to do. Back in the Canadian jumps into a belly to belly which sends him over the top again in a cool visual.

 

Kurt works on the neck and gets a knee to the ribs for two. Christian is on the floor again and Karen adds in some shots of his own. Back in and Kurt hooks a rear naked choke. This slow build is very slow in this case and it’s getting a bit dull. They go up to the ropes and Kurt backdrops him off the middle rope. That was a new one. The moonsault hits for two in another rare one.

 

Christian grabs a DDT to break up the champ’s momentum. The reverse version looks to set up the frog splash and yeah I guess Christian is the face. The interview earlier would imply otherwise but since when has TNA made sense? The splash misses and the American hits some Germans on the Canadian. Angle looks at the ankle like he wants to make sweet love to it down by the pond but the Slam is countered as is the Unprettier and a pair of ankle locks, resulting in a small package for two for the Canadian.

 

He goes up but Kurt grabs the ankle while Christian is on the top. He kicks Kurt off but Kurt gets the running suplex for two and it’s back to the ankle. We’re still waiting on AJ’s interference. Christian hooks a Texas cloverleaf which Kurt escapes again. The Slam is countered again into an Edge-O-Matic for two. Christian goes up again but Karen distracts him. Ok to be fair with a rack like that it’s hard not to be distracted. Kurt tries another running suplex but Christian bites his head and shoves him down for the frog splash for two.

 

Kurt hits him low and hits the Slam for two. Is anyone really surprised that it only got two? I mean seriously? Kurt gets his 19^th ankle lock but it’s rolled through and Kurt almost hits Karen. That distraction lets Christian hit a not perfect Unprettier for two. Now Christian puts on the ankle lock and Kurt taps because he’s a heel. Karen has the referee and does again as AJ comes out. He hugs Christian but then hits him in the back, letting Kurt get the Slam to retain.

 

Rating: B-. Think Russo is booking? The whole match is about who does the run-in run-in for and then there’s a swerve with that too. It’s a good match and they were starting to get pretty good at the end but it was nothing classic. For a PPV main event though it’s perfectly fine. AJ would finally turn face a few months later but who cares about something like that?

 

A highlight package of the main event takes us out.

 

Overall Rating: C-. If I had to sum this up in one word, I’d go with forgettable. The best match of the night is either the main event or Kong vs. Gail and both of those are just pretty good. It would lead to Kurt vs. AJ and an awesome series of matches between them and Joe’s time on top which was a good period for TNA. As for this show though, there wasn’t anything great about it which is kind of the situation for the company as a whole at this point: not bad, but nothing great at all.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 3, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Kenely, Tazz

We open the new year with the return (yes another one) of Sting. Rather than let us be surprised by who wins, TNA has decided to throw the name out there ahead of time. The other issue is that Anderson may or may not be joining Aces and 8’s. That would help their star power but somehow make them more boring at the same time. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap kills some time.

We open with the Superstar of the Year presentation. The nominees are Ray, Storm, Aries, Roode and of course Hardy. To the shock of no one other than Aries or Roode, Hardy wins. Roode and Aries were arguing to the ring when the announcement was made and the two of them being shocked was funny stuff. Hardy says that this award means just as much as being champion, which draws Roode into the ring to yell.

When Roode was champion, NOTHING was more important to him than the title. He made history and set records when he was champion but here’s Aries to argue that HE should be the winner because he averaged over four stars per PPV match. Hardy calms things down and says he’ll defend against both of them at Genesis, which I think is the first match announced. Aries jumps him but gets in an argument with Roode over who gets to beat Hardy up. Aries tries to hit Jeff with the trophy but blasts Roode instead, bending the gold part on top. Hardy takes out Aries and leaves.

Storm is disappointed but Bad Influence comes in and makes fun of a country song to show how sad Storm is in a hilarious bit. Storm says he’ll be back and he’ll kick Daniels in his Twitter and knock Kaz’s Facebook off. Kaz: “You forgot MySpace!”

Kazarian vs. James Storm

Daniels faked Storm out to start and Kaz got in a cheap shot to really start. That’s some nice chicanery there. Storm pounds away in the ring before we head to the floor where Daniels can cheat yet again. Back in and Storm comes back with Closing Time (Codebreaker) for no cover, instead opting for a Russian Leg Sweep and a top rope elbow for two. For the third time a Daniels distraction lets Kaz take over, this time with a TKO for two. Storm hits another Codebreaker out of nowhere and after taking out Daniels, hits the Last Call to a jumping Kaz for the pin at 4:05.

Rating: C. Storm continues to be kept away from the main event but it’s nice to see him overcoming the odds for a week and getting a clean pin. Also, it’s VERY nice to see Bad Influence fighting anyone other than AJ for all of eternity. Other than that though, the match was relatively dull with Storm just doing his thing and hitting his signature moves.

Anderson is told to make a decision by Aces and 8’s and after some prodding from Doc, he finally agrees. However, D-Von’s bat is missing.

Kenny King talks to Kid Kash about some mini tournament for the shot at RVD.

Quick highlight package on Sting and Aces and 8’s.

Here’s Doc to say that Sting needs to get out here so he can cripple Sting once and for all. A ball bat falls from the ceiling and Doc FREAKS, shouting that he isn’t afraid and demanding that Sting get out here as we take a break.

Brooke has no comment on her dad.

X-Division #1 Contenders Tournament: Kid Kash vs. Christian York

Kash jumps him to start and takes it to thef loor very quickly, only to get caught by a dropkick and a kick to the head from the apron. Kash pounds away a bit but York comes back with a botched handspring into a kick for two. A running low downward spiral gets two for Christian and he counters a backslide into the Mood Swing (Eve’s swinging neckbreaker) for the pin at 3:43.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see at all here as Kash continues to just be a warm body in the division. York isn’t much better and I’m not wild on these mini tournaments, especially when the finals and the title match are at the same show (Genesis obviously), it gets a little dull. Nothing to see here though.

Hernandez and Chavo aren’t scared of Morgan and Ryan.

Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

Morgan has a bad arm so Joey is subbing for him. Ok then.

Joey Ryan vs. Hernandez

Hernandez pounds away to start and Morgan’s arm appears to be fine. He comes in and hits a discus lariat on Hernandez for the DQ at 1:00.

Chavo gets taken down as well post match. Was there a point to this segment?

Angle thanks Brisco and Bischoff for having his back. Tonight it’s a cage match so they can hang back here. Joe yells at them for no apparent reason but Angle smooths things over.

We see the Knockouts stretching.

We recap Aries/Ray/the Hogans for the millionth time.

Here’s Hulk to apologize for being gone last week. He saw his daughter and Ray making out in the parking lot and he needed a breather. Hulk asks Brooke and Ray to come out here right now so here they are side by side and nearly arm in arm. Hulk wants an explanation right now and Ray says it was all on him. Papa Hogan GOES OFF on Ray, saying that he knew all along that Ray was a bad man. Apparently Ray broke some kind of code and he gets thrown out of the ring, just like Brooke. Ray is suspended as well. Is there a point to this coming ANYTIME soon?

Post break we recap what we just saw.

Back to OVW for more Joseph Park matches. He’s been watching a lot of tape and Danny Davis is starting to get the appeal of him. I think Park graduates.

Gail Kim/Tara vs. Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher

Tess is in all blue tonight which is a nice change of pace. She and Gail start but it’s quickly off to Tara. I do enjoy the camera closeups we get of the Knockouts unlike the Divas. Mickie comes in off a blind tag to clear the ring as Jesse consoles Tara. Back in for Tara vs. Mickie as we take a break. Back with Tessmacher getting the hot tag and cleaning house. Tara gets knocked to the floor where Jesse wipes her face, allowing Kim to deck Tessmacher from behind. Back to Kim legally for an over the shoulder back/rib breaker for two.

Gail misses a charge in the corner and falls to the floor but she still manages to block the hot tag. Tara comes in with the slingshot somersault legdrop for two and it’s off to a quick bow and arrow hold. Tessmacher slams Tara face first into the mat and we FINALLY get the hot tag to Mickie. House is cleaned and a neckbreaker on Kim gets two. Everything breaks down and Tessmacher dives on Jesse and Tara on the floor. Gail misses the same charge in the corner again and Mickie hits the MickieDT for the pin at 13:04.

Rating: D+. WAY too long here for the same four chicks we’ve seen fight for months. Is Velvet gone again, because we haven’t seen her in the ring for two weeks now. It still seems to be setting up Mickie to take the title off Tara, which makes Sky’s return worthless. Not a bad match here but there was no need for this to be over seven minutes, let alone thirteen.

Aces and 8’s say they have to stay masked.

ODB is glad Sting is back and says Young will be back soon.

We recap the announcement of the triple threat match at Genesis.

Hulk makes it a three way elimination in a segment that doesn’t need to exist. Next week it’s the two of them against Hardy and whoever Hardy can get.

Samoa Joe/Kurt Angle vs. D-Von/Masked Man

In a cage for absolutely no apparent reason. Doc slams the door on Angle as he gets in the ring, making it a handicap match to start. Joe beats on both guys in the ring as Doc keeps beating up Angle on the outside. D-Von charges into his partner in the corner so Joe can divide and conquer a bit. The numbers finally catch up to Joe and his comeback attempt is quickly stopped. Thankfully there’s no tagging in this. I can’t stand the idea of law and order in a cage match.

D-Von kicks the door into Angle’s head again as the beating continues. We take a break and come back with Joe still fighting both guys off on his own. To be fair it’s not like (presumably) Mike Knox and D-Von would be a huge challenge for a guy like Joe. Angle fights off Doc and gets the key to unlock the cage. Kurt cleans house but can’t get the mask off due to Doc making ANOTHER save. Angle is busted open now but he avoids D-Von’s headbutt. It’s time to roll some Germans on both bikers and the Angle Slam pins the masked man at 11:43.

Rating: C-. Again, why am I supposed to be surprised here? Joe and Angle are two of the biggest stars in TNA history and they’re beating up two guys with barely any singles success ever? This is supposed to be interesting? Nothing to see here for the most part and the cage is just there to try to add some drama I suppose.

Post match more bikers run in to beat down Angle and Joe as Anderson watches from the floor. Sting comes in with the bat to clean house with little fanfare. Aces and 8’s bail, but the masked man from the match is left alone. He gets triple teamed and the mask is pulled off to reveal Mike Knox, shocking ABSOLUTELY NO ONE. Gee, just what Aces and 8’s needs: ANOTHER FREAKING CAREER NOTHING. Tenay says Sting just took the power away from Aces and 8’s. Mike, go watch some CMLL or something. It’ll do you a lot of good.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t the worst show in the world but it certainly wasn’t all that great either. At the end of the day, this show has become almost all about drama as we wait to get to next checkpoint in the Aces and 8’s story and any kind of a point at all in Hogan vs. Ray. Hulk is looking like a jerk in this whole thing which doesn’t really do much for Ray at all. Aces and 8’s are still Aces and 8’s as well, but now with two big guys with no career accomplishments. Nothing to see here but at least we FINALLY have some stuff set for Genesis.

Results

James Storm b. Kazarian – Last Call

Christian York b. Kid Kash – Mood Swing

Hernandez b. Joey Ryan via DQ when Matt Morgan interfered

Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher b. Tara/Gail Kim – MickieDT to Kim

Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe b. D-Von/Masked Man – Angle Slam to Masked Man

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

No Mercy 2000
Date: October 22, 2000
Location: Pepsi Center, Albany, New York
Attendance: 14,342
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was another request so I thought I’d knock this one out rather quickly. Not much special on this card with a main event of Angle vs. Rock for the title in what should be an easy win for the Great One. The other main match is Austin getting Rikishi after he was revealed as the driver of the car. The feud bombed so HHH was brought in soon but we’ll get to that later. There’s also HHH vs. Benoit but most importantly, MIDEON IS HERE! This was one of the weirder gimmicks of all time but it’s here tonight. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course focused on Austin and Rikishi which is how it should be. He’ll have no mercy on him. Get it?

Tag Team Table Gauntlet Match

We start with Too Cool vs. Low Down (Chaz (Headbanger Mosh) and D’lo Brown). There are five teams total. I’ve never been a fan of gauntlet matches as you have to go so fast and it looks like you can beat a team in mere minutes but other times they take two or three times as long to get such a win. No tagging here of course. Chaz looks like Maven minus the eyebrows.

Austin isn’t here yet which is the highlight of the commentary of course. Lawler lists off various uses for tables. His favorite: table dances. Now who didn’t see that coming? It amazes me that this was against Halloween Havoc 2000. You can really see the difference between the two companies as everything there seemed old and dying but this looks very fresh and interesting.

Sky High on Grandmaster as we talk about Edge and Christian being sick. Low Down goes for a double table shot but Grandmaster gets off his table and Scotty shoves Chaz off the top into his so Low Down has been eliminated. The next team is Taz and Raven who I never remember teaming together at all. They bring their own table as Jerry makes shootout jokes.

We start on the floor and Scotty goes up to the apron to put Raven through. Taz, thinking for once, grabs Scotty while he poses and throws the Tazmission on him. Raven tries to suplex Grandmaster to the floor through one but Grandmaster reverses into a sunset powerbomb but his feet break it. They need to fire whoever makes these tables as they kind of suck. Scotty does the worm under a table and because it ticks him off, Tazz throws Scotty through one to advance him and Rave.

The Dudleys are the fourth team. It’s hard to believe they had been around for a year at this point. D-Von is thrown into Raven as I want to chant ECW. Taz and Bubba go at it for a bit. Opening a WWF show after main eventing an ECW show. That’s nearly poetic. What’s Up to Raven and it’s table time. BIG table chant but they brawl for a bit instead. And it all means nothing as a top rope legdrop gets the Dudleys to the finals.

The final team is the Right to Censor which is comprised of Buchanan and the Goodfather. I always hated that name as it just sounds stupid. Big brawl to start as the non white people go to the floor. There are two tables in the ring as Bull blocks an Bubba Bomb. Down goes the referee as Bubba puts Buchanan through the table. Goodfather cracks Bubba with a chair and puts him on the broken table for the win.

And never mind as another referee is here to restart the match. 3D on Goodfather ends it like 45 seconds later.

Rating: C. Eh this was fine for an opener as the fans loved it. Not something you can grade for quality or anything of course due to the nature of the match but for what it was supposed to be this was fine. The Dudleys and their tables were always popular but the ending was a bit predictable. I could think of worse uses for about 13 minutes though.

Trish is with T&A in the back and implies she should flash the Acolytes to distract them.

Rikishi is waiting outside for Austin.

We recap T&A vs. the APA as there was a strip poker game that resulted in them seeing Trish lose her clothes. T&A beat up Lita for no apparent reason other than to set this match up.

APA/Lita vs. T&A/Trish Stratus

Test and Albert if you’re confused. Lita is Women’s Champion here but Trish is a joke as far as in ring stuff goes at this point. In the back we see T&A over Bradshaw who is out cold. They beat up Farrooq also which I think led to them taking some time off. The big heels come to the arena to beat up Lita too. Matt and Jeff, the current tag champions, make the save.

Edge and Christian say their nuts are fine. Peanuts that is. This was about as sophomoric as you could ask for but it was amusing.

Rikishi is still waiting.

Chris Jericho vs. X–Pac

Cage match. Before the match Jericho says they’re feuding and have been for so long he doesn’t even remember why they hate each other. He makes fun of him for never changing anything about himself but it ends tonight. New tights for X-Pac in a funny moment. Jericho hits a baseball slide to the floor to start and we brawl outside the cage to start. Pac never got in so that helps a bit.

Pac misses a huge chair shot and we finally get inside the cage. Standard stuff that you would expect from these two to start us off. Nice springboard dropkick to the leg of Pac to keep him in the cage. Mostly advantage to the non-Canadian (I try to avoid saying the same names over and over again if anyone wonder why I say such odd names at times) here as we wait for the Jericho comeback.

Sweet goodness X-Pac was just not interesting at all. BIG super bomb off the top to half kill X-Pac but Jericho is down too. Jericho goes for the cage but Pac grabs his foot. Jericho kicks him in the face to take care of that. I love basic counters like those. Pac goes for the door and manages to get the chair he swung earlier before Jericho makes the save.

He clocks Jericho with the chair but takes a shot of his own. JR says his eyes look glazed over but that’s typical for him. They go up to the top of the cage where Jericho gets the Walls or a Sharpshooter or something around one of the cables that they raise and lower the cage with. Pac throws him down but celebrates too long which standing on the door. Jericho of course dropkicks it and goes out to win as Pac is left crotched.

Rating: C-. Really nothing special here as Pac was beyond uninteresting at this point. I get that this was a feud but did this really warrant a PPV cage match? It wasn’t bad and the ending worked pretty well I thought, but the match just wasn’t all that interesting at all. Pretty bland though.

Steve Blackman is at WWF New York.

Rikishi yells at Foley about Austin not being here yet.

We see Eddie being injured so he’s out of the match tonight vs. Billy for the IC Title. Instead we get RTC vs. Billy and Chyna. Chyna, who looks more manly than Billy, as in more than usual, says they’ll beat up Eddie. Billy kind of hits on her but that perm is making it too hard to focus on what he’s saying.

Val Venis/Steven Richards vs. Billy Gunn/Chyna

Steven refers to Gunn as rectally obsessed. That somehow fits. Who came up with that gimmick?  They need to be drug out into the street and shot. Val and Rikishi start us off which is as riveting as it sounds. Val punches Chyna on the floor and goes into the steps for his troubles. This is going nowhere fast. I hate that expression but it fits here.

Chyna spins Richards around by the tie. She goes off on him and the heels are in trouble. Val goes after the arm of Billy as this is setting new standards for boring. Chyna gets a very weak tag for the beatdown. Handspring elbow to Val as Billy helps to beat him up. Pedigree attempt but Eddie comes down to hit her with the loaded flowers and Val gets the pin.

Rating: F. Sweet GOODNESS this was boring. I get the injury thing but at the same time this had nothing at all to it. Get on to the next match please.

HHH is in his dressing room and Stephanie wants to come to the ring with him. He says no and she gives him a tape of Benoit using the Crossface. She has to leave to go help Kurt get ready, meaning the Game isn’t happy.

We recap Rikishi vs. Austin. The fat man ran him over at Survivor Series 1999 so that Austin could take a year off to finally get his neck fixed. He came back to go on a manhunt which was really confusing because they kept saying Rikishi hadn’t debuted yet but he had that night on Heat which wasn’t mentioned so it was really confusing to me as I watched Heat. Anyway he said he did it for the Rock as Rock became popular without Austin being around.

Steve Austin vs. Rikishi

This is no rules of course as Austin pointed out that he didn’t want a match but to hurt Rikishi which makes sense. Austin’s line of “this match is going to take brutality to a whole other level” is the iconic line here but it didn’t quite live up to it. No Austin yet remember. Rikishi comes out with the sledgehammer as I guess they’re foreshadowing the HHH involvement.

Rikishi demands that Foley come out here and declare him the winner. And before anything happens here comes Austin with truck. No reason for why he’s late or anything but why would we need that? It’s the same truck that Rikishi destroyed with the hammer. Austin is in shorts and the t-shirt which fits I think. Rikishi goes into the table as this is just a big fight.

Ross thinks Rikishi has no heart. Wouldn’t that mean he’s like dead? They’re in the crowd already as they never were in the ring at all. Austin whips him with his belt as this is just a big brawl. There just happens to be a rope under the ring but Austin goes over the table. It’s no sold of course and HE’S IN THE RING! And so much for that. Big chairshot takes the fat man down and I think he’s busted open.

Austin throws on JR’s hat for no apparent reason and wears Rikishi out with the chair. He knocks the Samoan into the back of the truck and drives the truck out of the arena. This isn’t going to end well is it? Austin puts Rikishi in front of a wall and backs up the truck but a cop car drives in front of it for the save. He gets arrested for old time’s sake.

Rating: D-. Yeah this failed. It was a big old brawl ending with the bad truck thing. The problem was that at the end of the day the Rikishi was way too fat and way too bad as a heel to be worth much. This feud bombed and everyone knew it which is why at Survivor Series Austin dropped HHH from a forklift instead of a Samoan.

And now we replay the ending of the match for no apparent reason. Are they afraid people reached over to pet their cat during the ending of the match?

European Title: William Regal vs. Mideon

That’s his official name mind you. It’s not some random nickname I gave him. Basically he wrestles in a thong and a fanny pack. He comes out in regular clothes but tries to rip them off during the match. Apparently he’s trying to get strip, making him the Kelly Kelly from the old ECW days of this generation. Mideon keeps wanting to take his clothes off but just doesn’t for some reason.

Lawler says he’s a great chain wrestler. He can beat any chain you put him up against. Eh half a point for a decent line. Pretty much total dominance by Regal here. Mideon gets his shirt off and continuously pulls his pants up. Wouldn’t that be against his character in theory? Crowd is DEAD here mind you. And there go the pants. Regal sets for the Stretch but thinks twice about it. A neckbreaker ends it.

Rating: D-. Totally pointless match where nothing of note happened and the comedy didn’t exist. Mideon was hardly a character that was ever going to really do anywhere and I have no idea what the point of this being on the show was. This was a waste of time but I guess it bridges the gap between the big matches.

We recap a rather funny fake interview that Angle conducted with videos of Rock. Funny stuff.

Los Conquistadores say SI a lot.

Tag Titles: Hardy Boys vs. Los Conquistadores

The other team used to be jobbers back in the 80s but these guys are Edge and Christian under masks which is the point of the joke. Christian and Matt start us off. This is more or less a comedy match as the Hardys just beat up the masked guys who do odd offense to prevent anyone from finding out who they actually are.

Jeff is the stoner in peril here as nothing really is happening here. Christian misses a front flip splash off the top to set up the tag to Matt. Matt fights them both off as we’re getting close to the end. Jeff does the rail run to take out Edge. Matt hits a big dive to take out everyone at once. Back in the ring and Matt pulls off his mask to reveal another mask. Unprettier ends him.

Rating: C. This was a hard one to grade as the idea was more along the lines of a comedy match. The title change was a surprise but the way they switched them back is even better. Edge and Christian came out to challenge Los Conquistadores to prove that they weren’t in the masks but Los Conquistadores, who were already the champions, beat them to keep the titles. They unmasked as the Hardys and were declared champions as they were under the masks, meaning in theory they defeated themselves for the titles but you get the idea. Fun match.

Austin’s truck is taken away by a tow truck.

HHH watches video of Benoit beating him up.

We recap Benoit vs. HHH which started with Benoit hitting Stephanie with a headbutt and then going after her even more. I think HHH might be a face here actually which makes little sense but he’s getting something resembling a face pop for his entrance here and JR seems to imply he’s a face so maybe he is. This should probably go in the match part of this.

HHH vs. Chris Benoit

This should be good. Slow start of course but HHH goes for the knee which is a new one for him. Yep there’s a loud HHH chant which isn’t what I would have bet on at all. It’s kind of weird to see him work over it like that. Benoit tries to wrestle him but HHH gets us into an Indian Deathlock. He adds a neck vice to it also which makes it kind of an STF with the guy putting in on being upside down. Pretty sick looking.

HHH goes over the top and might have a bad arm now. Naturally Benoit goes straight for it as any good wolverine would. Northern Lights suplex gets two. This really should have been the main event of Mania XX. HHH goes onto the table as Benoit is dominating. HHH counters a belly to back into a reverse suplex which is a move more people should use.

They slug it out as this is good stuff. Leaping knee to the face has Benoit in trouble. HHH goes all the way up for a superplex and both guys are down. Here come the Germans as Benoit takes over again. What was supposed to be a Dragon suplex looks like a German and gets two. A second is somewhat better but HHH is in trouble now. Crossface out of nowhere and HHH is in big trouble.

It never ceases to amaze me how much longer good guys can last in submission holds rather than heels. In something you’ll probably never see again, HHH gets up and counters the Crossface into a Death Valley Driver. Stephanie runs (best part of the match!) down and slaps Benoit. Pedigree is countered into the Crossface which is countered into the Pedigree which is countered into the Crossface which is countered into a low blow which results in a Pedigree which results in the pin. VERY nice ending.

Rating: B. Very solid match here with both guys looking completely comfortable out there. I’d have liked to see what HHH could have become had he been able to stay heel rather than having to turn again for the sake of saving the Austin story from the awfulness that Rikishi was. Still though, solid match here with a very good ending.

Edge and Christian congratulate Los Conquistadores and apparently there’s a tag title match on Raw. VIVA ESSA RIOS!

Recap of Angle vs. Rock. Benoit cost HHH a #1 contenders match by going after Stephanie. HHH told Stephanie to stay away from the ring as she’s a liability. Kurt more or less stole her and she’s his manager now. Rock is all shaken up by finding out that Rikishi did everything and ran over Austin so he’s a bit off.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. Kurt Angle

This is announced as No DQ as Kurt comes to the ring which is a new development. Stephanie distracts Rock and Angle gets a quick advantage to start. Angle gets a chair shot on the floor and Rock is in trouble. Back in the ring a Samoan Drop gets two for the champion. Angle tries to leave for some reason but Rock makes the stop. Rock throws him through the set as this is a big brawl.

Ross says that Angle is challenging for the richest prize in the Game. Is this suddenly a match taking place inside of HHH? Is the belt his pancreas or something? Stephanie chokes Rock behind the referee’s back as Ross says she’s legally breaking the rules. If it’s legal, how is she still breaking the rules? Rock gets a chair shot to his ankle. This was before the ankle lock I think.

Dragon screw leg whip sets up the Sharpshooter and he taps out as Stephanie has the referee. Angle is continuously selling the knee having it start off as a big hindrance and moving on to a slightly weaker one which is very impressive. He gets a long chinlock to kill some time but winds up on the floor and we’re back outside again.

Angle tries to get a belt shot while Stephanie gets the referee. I don’t get the whole thinking here but they’re trying at least. Angle misses the perfect moonsault and we slug it out. Rock punches the heck out of him and takes over again. Again might be a stretch but you get the idea. A spinebuster sets for the Elbow but Stephanie makes the save. Rock Bottom for her but Angle stops the elbow.

And cue HHH who destroys….Kurt. Ah there’s the Pedigree for the Rock too. That’s more like it. HHH carries Stephanie out as Angle covers for two and a big pop on the kickout. Rock gets a DDT for two as you can feel us getting to the ending. He sends Angle to the floor, walks around the ring with him and throws him back in. Even Rock can have an odd moment I guess.

Here’s Rikishi too as they continue trying to force this push down our throats no matter how hard it fails. He beats on Angle a bit as apparently he’s helping out his Samoan brethren. Rock Bottom out of nowhere but Rock can’t cover. The fat Samoan gets in and accidentally nails Rock in the corner and accidentally superkicks him. Both guys get Olympic Slams to give Angle his first of 9 (not 12 you freaking idiotic TNA) world titles to date.

Rating: B. This was of course solid as you would expect for these two. Angle was still kind of in over his head at this point as he hadn’t locked in that total insanity thing yet. The Rikishi interference was annoying but I get the HHH aspect at least. Amusingly enough Angle won the title once Stephanie left rather than while she was there. Solid match but their rematch in February where Rock would get the title back would be better.

Overall Rating: C-. Not much here other than the last two matches but it wasn’t horrible. This company was the polar opposite of WCW. Back then you had the young guys owning the top of the card while the old guys would be absolutely dreadful. Here though the first 2/3 of the show would be pretty weak but the main matches would rock the house.

The problem would come in about two years as the old guys stopped being interesting. This was an ok show but the two last matches were good. Nothing to go out of your way to see though. Things were thrown upside down as with HHH being turned but that had to happen for the sake of saving Austin which wasn’t his fault.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Vengeance 2005
Date: June 26, 2005
Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 9,850
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

It’s a Raw show this time as we’re still in the middle of the single brand shows and will be for over another year. This is a two match show, but DANG these are two great matches. We have Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels the sequel and Batista vs. HHH in Hell in a Cell in the Mania rematch.  Also we have Christian vs. Jericho vs. Cena in a three way for the other Raw title. For over three weeks both belts were on Raw which was rather stupid but whatever. There are only six matches on the card, so I’d think that sums this up pretty well. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Cena being new to Raw and Batista not knowing what he’s doing in HIAC. Ok then. You can tell Big Dave is serious here: he calls HHH Hunter. Far more time spent on those two which makes sense I guess.

The arena has a casino theme. At least that makes sense.

IntercontinentalTitle: Carlitovs. SheltonBenjamin

This is about a month after the infamous Shelton vs. Shawn match so Shelton is the hottest thing in the company. Well he was until he dropped the title to Carlito who is still in the purple shorts six days prior to this. Coach is already annoying the heck out of me and we’re 6 minutes into the entire broadcast. This isn’t very interesting at all, although you could say the same thing about most of the Raw shows from this era.

Shelton is still pretty awesome as he continues dominating Carlito. Carly tries to run but Shelton decides he’s the better released guy and stops that. Apparently Benjamin has a concussion. That wouldn’t be allowed today but this was a simpler time I guess. He hits a sweet clothesline from the top and can’t immediately cover because of his head. The more recently fired one takes over and they actually chant for him. That’s a different one.

Let’s hit that chinlock! Shelton hits a Samoan Drop as we’ve got all kinds of cultures in this match. I want to punch Coach in the face. Carlito keeps trying to get a turnbuckle pad off and finally manages to do so. Those three words are fun to type in a row. I love the Dragon Whip, especially how it always hits people. Does no one watch tape? He gets the pad off and Shelton eats steal on the Stinger Splash. You know the rest.

Rating: D+. Not bad but a bit long and a bit boring at times. That and with the title change happening 6 days prior to this, there was no drama at all over who was winning. Carlito was somehow even less interesting at this point if you can believe that. I’ve seen worse though.

HHH and Flair are here.

Ross calls the Cell Satan’s Spa of Pain and Suffering. WHERE DOES HE COME UP WITH THESE THINGS?

We recap Christy Hemme vs. Victoria. This is over a swimsuit contest. Oh and Victoria (Tara) is insane, even though she has that idiotic I Ain’t The Lady to Mess With song.

ChristyHemmevs. Victoria

They start fast and Victoria does all kinds of evil things to Christy. This is non-title also since the title is on Smackdown at the moment. The cards in the set change based on who is in the current match. The fans don’t really care either. Lawler says this is about looks or whatever. Christy botches the heck out of a sunset flip. Yeah I’m stunned too.

Ross freaks because Christy can do a DDT. She can do one of the least complex moves of all time and she gets cheered for it. She goes for another sunset flip and Victoria drops down and grabs the ropes for the heel pin.

Rating: D-. The lack of failing is because these are two of the hottest Divas of all time. The match was totally awful though, if you didn’t guess that part.

Cena is with Todd Grisham, and talks about being the new kid. This is still rapper Cena which makes him sound like a guy that doesn’t belong in the spot that he’s in. This is greatly disturbing. In something very good though, he keeps that theme throughout the whole interview. That’s very nice indeed and it works very well as I like this promo.

We recap Kane vs. Edge. They met in the finals of a tournament for the #1 contenders’ spot and Lita turned on her husband Kane to join Edge. This was one that made people feel very sorry for Kane which was a great idea. Edge also married Lita on Raw, or at least tried to as Kane came up from under the ring which was an awesome moment. Keep in mind that I’m a big Kane mark. Kane tombstoning the minister is just awesome stuff.

Edgevs. Kane

I vaguely remember wanting to see this match. Wow I was about to be a senior in high school back then. Kane looks like a legitimate awesome face at this point. In something I like, Kane does the ten punches in the corner and then just goes off with punches, getting up to probably 25 or so. The fans want Matt, who is gone. In real life, Matt and Lita were dating and Lita left him for Edge, so WWE of course turned it into an angle. Have to love those heartfelt guys.

Kane stays ticked off as he’s dominating this for the most part. Edge would be world champion in like 7 months so I’d say he wound up winning this one. The spear hits on the floor to hit the formula in full stride. Lawler gets in a decent line on JR, saying that in Oklahoma Hee-Haw was a documentary. Kane Kanes Up and JR says he’s setting Edge on fire here. Again, what does that mean?

Crowd is WAY into Kane here oddly enough. Edge hits a nice dropkick to block the top rope clothesline. Man Lita is thin here. Snitsky comes out and interferes THREE FREAKING TIMES. Seriously, is there no reason at all to not have two referees in kayfabe? Not that I can think of. Anyway, eventually Edge accidentally hits Gene with the MITB case, chokeslam ends it.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty solid upper midcard match, but Snitsky’s run in hurt it. The main thing here is that it gave Kane a clean pin over Edge, which makes Kane a big time threat again. Also, it’s nice seeing him getting a big win as they’re rare for him which to me sucks but whatever. Either way, this was pretty good.

We recap Angle vs. Michaels, which mostly was everyone wanting a rematch after their classic at Mania, sort of like what Taker did but less intense.

Shawn says Vengeance will be his. See what he did there? Nice one. Imagine me saying that in the cheesiest voice imaginable.

KurtAnglevs. ShawnMichaels

This should be good and I believe Becca says it’s Shawn’s best match so that’s saying a lot. Seriously, what purpose does Coach serve? I know he’s supposed to be the heel analyst, but he makes points that Jerry should be making so Jerry, who is far better, has less to do. We get a long feeling out/technical sequence to start which I can’t complain at all about. Angle takes over with some solid stuff on the mat but we’re still mostly in the feeling out stage at this point.

Angle hooks a half crab to start working on the ankle. Nice. For a guy his size, Shawn could throw one heck of a chop. He hits a spinning sunset flip off the middle rope but Angle turns it into the ankle lock. This is a chess game and it’s working very well even though we’re only about 5 minutes in. Angle hits the slam on the table which doesn’t break for a FREAKING OW moment. We even get a freaking turnbuckle powerbomb. That just looks awesome every time.

It’s all Kurt here but you can tell they’re in for a long one here. Basically what we have is how much can Shawn take, as he’s getting beaten up very badly here but he keeps countering the finishers. Angle’s lip is bleeding and Shawn is bleeding just under his eye. This is a very slow build but the crowd is staying in it so that is certainly acceptable. Shawn hits his flying forearm and the nip up gets a great pop. His selling really is great stuff. However he does the longest set up for the Sweet Chin Music of all time and Angle easily blocks it. That took almost 30 seconds to set up.

Shawn keeps covering after a DDT which is what Angle did to Shawn earlier on. I love little things like that. Angle comes back with Rolling Germans and an Angle Slam for two as we approach epicness. There goes the referee of course. Has there ever been a big match where the referee didn’t go down? Shawn takes a GREAT bump to the floor off a back drop. He was in free fall and just crashed, hurting his knee. Lawler goes on a semi rant talking about how you can’t get medical attention during a match.

Where is that kind of talk recently? Shawn stays in the ankle lock for the better part of ever but FINALLY counters as Angle hits the post. Angle goes for Shawn but OUT OF NOWHERE Shawn hits the superkick. Of course it’s just two as the referee counts to eight on both guys. Coach makes my head hurt a lot by saying he’s never seen anyone kick out of Sweet Chin Music. Angle goes up top for a double axe handle of all things but comes down into the boot for the pin.

Rating: A. This was one fine wrestling match. These two are absolute masters out there and this is no exception at all as both worked themselves ragged with great selling and back and forth work. This is a classic in every sense of the word and definitely should be seen.

Angle gets an ovation as he leaves just like he should.

Great American Bash ad which is mainly about Torrie.

Coach talks to Batista, who says he’s not scared and he’s going to get his revenge tonight. He words it a lot better. HHH comes up and I want to submit to his mustache. Pull apart brawl ends this.

Lillian Garcia is here…uh just because I guess. This is something about Viscera apparently. What was Vince’s obsession with large black men being obsessed with sex? I smell a Godfather cameo here. Lillian deserves an Oscar and a raise for this. She sings a song for him which is a great song but it helps to not look at the screen except when she’s on it. She proposes to him, crowd pops, cue Godfather. I was right. I want a hat with a feather in it like that.

Godfather offers him 5 Ho’s and of course he takes them. Was there a point to this other than to have Lillian look all sad and depressed? This is horrible yet hilarious. Ah that’s right: since we have single brand PPVs we only have 6 matches so we get pointless filler like this. Can you imagine Lawler having sex with that creepy smile never leaving his face? That’s just bizarre sounding.

We recap the triple threat which started with Cena being the top pick in the draft and Christian and Tomko yelling at him. Christian get the #1 contender spot and Jericho is mad about it. Jericho turned heel to set up a 3-1 beatdown. The language and mannerisms here are so different from today that it’s insane.

RawWorldTitle (WWE): ChrisJerichovs. Christianvs. JohnCena

So Christian was about 3 months away from leaving and Jericho was about 2 months away, so this is one of their last big matches. At the moment Christian is little more than a midcarder in over his head. Christian’s music is just odd sounding when it’s at that slower pace. Actually all three of these guys have had almost the same music for almost five years. That’s very different. Oh and the spinner is new at this point. Wow that was freaking idiotic.

The one now isn’t nearly as bad as it used to be. Lawler bets on Christian and Ross doesn’t make a pick. That was a waste of time. Tomko interferes and is out. These are always hard to comment on as they’re mainly comprised of one on one segments and then a save before repeating about three times and go to the finish. Cena hits the FU on Christian to the floor to give us Jericho vs. Cena which is ok I guess. Apparently Cena’s CD is out at the moment.

Earlier Cena complained about Jericho using the WWE Title to sell records. That’s just hilarious actually. Cena is a freaking hypocrite. Lionsault of course misses and now Jericho is alone in the ring. The fans pop for the table being uncovered. We hit match number two as Christian and Cena go at it. Wow it’s weird to hear Christian being called a veteran. It’s time for the heels to fight now which would be a main event today but is a clash of the upper midcard here.

We get a Tower of Doom as Christian gets suplexed and Jericho is powerbombed by Cena. Nice one too. In another nice spot, Cena drop toeholds Christian’s head into Jericho’s and hits a double 5 Knuckle Shuffle. Tomko takes Cena down but Christian only gets two. The Walls are applied and of course they don’t work since this is a Chris Jericho match. Cena gets Christian in the FU and kicks Jericho in the face to get the pin.

Rating: B+. This took a long time to get going but the last five minutes are very good. They actually did some three person spots in there which make this feel like a triple threat match where anyone could win. There was little to no drama but at the same time this wound up working very well indeed and I liked it a lot.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. HHH as they had been in Evolution together but after Batista won the Rumble he overheard HHH and Flair talking about how they have Big Dave around their little finger. Batista turned face more or less by force as he was so popular there was no other choice. He beat HHH at Mania and then at Backlash so HHH left Raw for a few weeks before coming back for a beatdown and challenging him to this. This really was a well built up feud and it feels like a huge match.

RawWorldTitle (World): Batistavs. HHH

Apparently the Cell is now the Devil’s Duplex. Seriously, what is JR on because I want some of it. Also it’s now a sentient being as it has something like emotions I guess. The Cell is still half up as Batista’s music hits. I didn’t realize he had I Walk Alone this early but apparently he did. He also had the gun pyro which is rather cool. He’s also embarking on his maiden voyage inside Hell in a Cell. Is he a boar captain all of a sudden? You can never accuse JR of using basic language.

The Cell being lowered really is a cool moment as you know you’re about to see some violence. Lawler says there is no way out. Today that would likely get him yelled at by Vince for bringing up memories of a defunct show. Why is he so paranoid about so many things? Batista is in the white tights here so you know he’s serious. They point out how fairly stupid it is to give HHH back to back shots by more or less saying this is the last chance for him.

HHH goes to the arm by sending it into the post. That’s smart I guess as it’s hard to Batista Bomb someone with one arm, although you would think the leg would be smarter. Then again he married Stephanie so he’s smarter than we are. And now HHH gets a tool box. This cannot turn into another Home Improvement match like it was vs. Nash. Well if nothing else Batista is better than Nash so I can live with that.

There’s a big chain, which at least is something that I guess you could understand having in a tool box assuming you could use it to secure something or to get a grip on something. I should host a tool show. Batista manages to survive about a minute of being choked by a chain which is being pulled by a 6’4 270lb man. What? You don’t see how that makes sense?

I love fans that encourage violence that could potentially kill a man. Well to be fair HHH is supposed to anger the fans so he’s getting that right. Batista hits four spinebusters on the floor. Not really as he just rammed HHH into the post but whatever Ross says goes I guess. HHH mimics Flair and is busted open. The white boots are working for Big Dave. HHH hits a real spinebuster to get us back to even.

He gets a barbed wire steel chair from under the ring which is there to cover any and all of their barbed wire steel chair needs. Batista takes a SICK shot of it to the back. I know it’s rubbed tipped or fixed to an extent, but DANG it looked great. The face of Batista more or less says a combination of OH MY GOODNESS, OW and DANG I COULD GO FOR A POPSICLE. He gets the chair and DRILLS HHH in the head with it. That sounded and looked great.

I love the raking of a person’s face into the cage. That just looks awesome every time they do it and it never gets old. It’s ALL Batista at this point. HHH takes a powerslam onto the barbed wire. Ok so it landed on his leg but whatever. I guess those Buns of Steel videos helped a lot there. HHH counters with a DDT onto it as this is getting very good. Both guys are bleeding now. See, this is a great example of using blood to make a match better.

Instead of just randomly bleeding in every match, this has been a brutal fight that has built up to this moment and it feels epic. Rather than having blood in every match where it becomes clichéd, the blood here is a sight that makes you think about how brutal this is. A sledgehammer shot to the face gets two as we’ve reached epic. Batista kicks out of a punch wrapped in chain to a HUGE pop.

A lot of people that that was it apparently and I can’t say I blame them. In a cool spot right after that, HHH jumps at Batista with the chain but Batista holds up the hammer so that it slams into HHH’s jaw/throat. He stands there for about 8 seconds before just collapsing. I love that visual. HHH got LAUNCHED over the corner. After this long of a match I’m surprised he can take a bump like that. Batista busts out some steps and gets them in the ring with HHH down.

HHH is just getting destroyed here as Batista is just in a zone here. Batista Bomb is countered with a low blow and the Pedigree for a LONG two. The steps are set up in the middle of the ring and Batista is in trouble. Pedigree is blocked into a spinebuster onto the steps and a Batista Bomb for the pin.

In a nice move, HHH picked up the hammer but gets dropped before he can hit it. When he’s pinned it’s still in his hand which is like the scene that ends a movie, or in this case a great match. HHH would be gone four months for this as Cena became top dog on Raw. I’m sure HHH’s diminishes spotlight had nothing to do with his absence at all.

Rating: A. This was a WAR. This is what Hell in a Cell is supposed to be like: two guys that absolutely cannot stand each other beating the hell out of the other person for a single prize. The blood was great, the violence was great, and both guys were great. See this match for sure as it’s awesome and I’m pretty sure it’s on the Hell in a Cell DVD. Great match and it made Batista look unstoppable.

OverallRating: A-. That might be a bit high but with two GREAT matches and one that’s very good along with a decent Kane/Edge match, an ok opener and Christy looking great, what more can you ask for here? Angle vs. Shawn is a great wrestling match and the main event is a great sports entertainment match. Either way you can’t go wrong. Throw in a very good Cena match and the last hour and a half of this show are about as perfect as you can get. GREAT show and definitely go check this out.a

 

Remember to follow me o Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 13, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz, Todd Keneley

It’s after Final Resolution now and we’re heading towards Genesis in January. After one of the least interesting PPVs I can remember in years on Sunday, hopefully things pick up a bit this week. If my math is correct, we’re probably coming up on another gimmick show in a few weeks because where would we be without those? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the major plot points from Sunday.

Here’s Bobby Roode to open the show and he’s ticked off. He says that he made a business investment with Aces and 8’s but he got ripped off. Roode wants answers and he wants them NOW. Here are the bikers and D-Von says they were offered a better deal. Roode demands to know who outbid him and it’s…..not going to be revealed right now. D-Von says you might find out later tonight.

Cue Hardy and Storm who want to fight right now. They storm (no pun intended) the ring and clear out the unmasked bikers and for some reason, the armed bikers who have a numbers advantage bail.

Velvet talks about being in Championship Thursday next week.

Mickie is upset about losing last week.

Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky

We’ve got Madison in the always hot blue camo and Velvet in a black catsuit. I’m happy. Velvet takes over to start and hits some kicks to the back as we hear about Aces and 8’s vs. Storm/Hardy in the main event tonight. Great, ANOTHER match the bikers get to lose. Madison comes back with a shot to the chest and stands on Velvet’s hair a bit. There’s that pelvic thrust thing that Madison does which I think is supposed to be sexy in some way. Velvet makes a comeback and hits an X Factor for the pin at 3:12.

Rating: D+. The only thing keeping this from being a failure is how good the girls look. This was as dull as almost any match I can remember in months, with absolutely nothing standing out at all. I get that Velvet is back and all, but it’s not like she’s some kind of savior or anything like that.

Garrett, Wes and Kurt do a 5 Hour Energy commercial.

Kaz and Daniels brag a bit.

We recap the eight man tag from Sunday, which much like everything else on Sunday, was nothing.

Robbie E/Robbie T vs. Wes Brisco/Garrett Bischoff

Angle is with the small guys. The Robs attack from behind to start and T starts with Wes. Big Rob pounds away and works over Wes’ back before it’s off to E. Hot tag brings in Garrett and the fans just dno’t care. House is cleaned and everything breaks down. A jawbreaker staggers T and Wes hits a top rope cross body for the pin at 3:30.

Rating: D. I do not care about Brisco and Bischoff and that’s all there is to it. They’re just not interesting in the ring or on the mic or in any way whatsoever. They have jobs because of who their fathers are and that’s not something that interests me in the slightest. If TNA thinks we’re going to care about them if/when they join Aces and 8’s, TNA is crazier than I thought.

Post match a member of Aces and 8’s hits Kurt in the knee with a pipe, injuring him before his match next week against D-Von.

Angle’s knee is messed up in the back. Word on the street (as in Angle’s Twitter) is that Kurt has a groin injury so I guess this is their out.

Joseph Park (driving a Beetle) goes to OVW to train. He meets Danny Davis, the OVW owner, and says he’ll start training right now. Park runs laps around the ring and does situps while Davis yells at him. He also vomits in a trashcan. More on this later I’m assuming.

Tara and Jesse come in to annoy Brooke. Apparently it’s Jesse vs. Ray tonight and Brooke has very little to say. She’s another person I can’t stand for the most part.

1-3-13 video again.

Kenny King is ready for RVD again tonight.

James Storm/Jeff Hardy vs. Aces and 8’s

It’s Doc and the big guy, which is Mike Knox. Storm and Doc start things off with James pounding away before bringing in Hardy. Hardy gets to pound on the big guy now, which is rather pitiful looking given how bad Jeff’s punches are. He knocks both guys to the floor and hits a dive as we take a break. Back with Hardy kicking Doc in the face but getting clotheslined by the big guy.

The bikers pound away on Jeff on the floor before taking turns unleashing their wide variety of punches and kicks. The big guy literally just lays on Jeff as this is already dull. The beating goes on for a good while with Doc using a long chinlock. Jeff fights up but can’t escape, resulting in him being sent out to the floor. Off to another chinlock which Hardy finally escapes and hits the Whisper in the Wind. Not that it leads to the hot tag or anything but at least was something different.

Hardy hits the mule kick and FINALLY brings in Storm. House is cleaned and a top rope cross body gets two on the big guy. Poetry in Motion hits the masked guy and the other bikers come in. D-Von drops the bat….and it doesn’t matter as Last Call takes out Doc and the Twist pins the masked guy at 14:42.

Rating: D+. FREAKING DO SOMETHING WITH ACES AND 8’S ALREADY!!!!! They had like six guys on two here and they STILL couldn’t win? The match was fine with Hardy selling like a master like only he could, but Aces and 8’s are just such a waste of space anymore. At the end of the day, Aces and 8’s can’t win when they have this big of an advantage. So why should I ever be intimidated by them?

D-Von reveals that it was Aries that paid them more money on Sunday. Not that Hardy and Storm were the ones asking but whatever.

Roode erupts on Hogan in the back about Aries when Aries calls Hulk. Hogan says get here soon and tells Roode to calm down.

We recap Daniels vs. AJ on Sunday with AJ finally losing to Daniels clean.

Here’s AJ to address what happened on Sunday. He’s upset about losing, so the fans tell him that he’s still got it. AJ says he’s not going anywhere but he’s tired of looking after everyone else all the time. It’s time to look after AJ Styles and it has nothing to do with the Impact Zone, Dixie Carter or Impact Wrestling. He’s tired of cleaning up every corporate mess and always doing the right thing. From now on, he’s going to do his own thing. Ok then. This didn’t come off like a heel turn.

Dixie gets AJ’s shirt thrown in her face.

Daniels and Kaz celebrate and Kaz has a surprise for Daniels.

Kenny King vs. Rob Van Dam

This is the non-title version of a match that wasn’t good when the title was on the line. They trade kicks and armdrags to start until RVD gets in a kick to take over. Kenny kicks a lackadaisical RVD to the floor and hits a corkscrew dive for two. Back in and King hits a floatover suplex and right hands as he’s playing the heel in the match. Kenny hits a kind of splash in the corner but a second attempt hits a kick from Van Dam.

A top rope legdrop hits King for two but he comes back with a springboard Blockbuster (kind of at least) for two. Van Dam avoids a charge in the corner but misses a split legged moonsault. The northern lights suplex gets two for Rob and he takes Kenny’s head off with a stepover kick. Van Dam goes up for a cross body but King rolls through and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin at 5:45.

Rating: C. This was easily the best match of the night so far and WAY better than the match on Sunday. King turning heel is a good fit for him as he has a lot of Shelton Benjamin in him: insanely athletic but needing a bit more of an attitude. Good stuff here and it’s a decent feud for RVD at least.

Bully Ray comes in to see Hogan and wants to know where Hogan stands on things. Hogan is all ticked off and wants to know why Ray is making his personal stuff Hogan’s business. He blames Bully for Brooke being in danger and says he hasn’t changed his stance on Ray at all. Ray GOES NUTS, and suggests he has nothing to do with Brooke and that it’s a one way street.

He says that Brooke was apologizing for Hulk, which Hogan somehow twists into Brooke and Ray should never be around each other again. Ray goes on a big rant about how he should be on Team Hogan (egads there’s a freaking Team Hogan now?) after everything he’s been through and Hulk needs to realize his daughter is a grown woman. Ray leaves and Hogan calls him weak. Good grief they have an interesting story like this and it’s all about Brooke Hogan. Is ANYBODY surprised by that?

Bully Ray vs. Jesse Godderz

Ray chases Jesse and Tara out of the ring and pounds on Jesse to start. This turns into a total squash with Ray just destroying Jesse and no selling any offense from him. Ray hits a chop in the corner that actually makes me cringe. The fans get another chop that they demand and Tara comes in. Thankfully it’s not a DQ as she only gets spanked once and leaves. Jesse jumps Bully from behind and takes over with some forearms. Godderz pounds away but Ray comes back with a single chop. Jesse actually clotheslines Ray down but Bully shrugs it all off and wins with the Bubba Cutter at 6:00.

Rating: C-. This was way better than I was expecting and the chops alone make the match worth seeing. Ray is getting more and more awesome every week, but unfortunately this is all being wasted on Brooke freaking Hogan, because being Hulk Hogan’s daughter isn’t enough publicity for her or something like that. Hopefully Ray can actually win an important match soon.

Aries gets here.

1-3-13 video again.

We recap the ending of the PPV and the announcement of Aries as the guy who gave the bigger offer to the bikers. Aries talks about how he was in the war with Aces and 8’s but he never got paid for helping against them or anything like that. He wants the title back, so here’s Hardy. Hardy says all Aries had to do was ask but Aries says he has to jump through hoops to get his match. Jeff offers Aries a title shot right here next week in the Impact Zone. Aries says he’ll do it on his time. Oh good grief. Hardy punches him and they fight with Hardy hitting the Twist. The show goes off the air at 9:58. Ok then.

Overall Rating: D+. The last forty five minutes weren’t horrible but the rest of the show was some pretty dull stuff. Ray continues to be awesome, but man alive the Brooke Hogan, Garrett Bischoff and Wes Brisco stuff drags down almost anything good they’ve got going on. Aries, Roode and Hardy isn’t bad, but it needs something more than these guys guys just going back and forth like they’re doing.

Results

Velvet Sky b. Madison Rayne – X Factor

Wes Brisco/Garrett Bischoff b. Robbie E/Robbie T – Top rope cross body to Robbie T

Jeff Hardy/James Storm b. Aces and 8’s – Twist of Fate to Masked Man

Bully Ray b. Jesse Godderz – Bubba Cutter

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: September 18, 2003
Location: RBC Arena, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

 

This is almost literally a one match show and it’s really the only reason I’m reviewing this. This was a request and it’s because this show has the Lesnar/Angle one hour Iron Man match. In 2003 there were still individual brand PPVs so every other month you would get something resembling a supershow on free TV, usually having a huge match like this one. Brock and Angle have more or less traded the title all year and Angle is champion going into this. Nothing else matters for the most part so let’s get to it.

 

Here’s Vince to open the show. One of the biggest criticisms of this year in Smackdown was that Vince was all over it as was Stephanie. He talks about the iron man match tonight and is in full on hype mode. Say what you want about Vince but the man is a promoter at heart and loves what he does. You can hear it in his voice. He talks about how awesome the main event is and how awesome both guys are and…that’s it. Ok then.

 

Oh wait here’s Taker. He had been out for a bit due to I think a beatdown by Lesnar. I should mention Lesnar is Vince’s hired gun at the moment. That’ll likely be brought up later on. Anyway Vince tries to sweet talk him but Taker says the main event is safe. Vince however might not be. Intimidating indeed.

 

We get a tale of the tape for the main event which is something they should do more often.

 

Chris Benoit/Rey Mysterio vs. Tajiri/Rhyno

 

Rey is Cruiserweight Champion. He’s defending the title next week against Tajiri and I think Benoit and Rhyno were feuding around this time so there’s your explanation. Benoit vs. Tajiri to start this ECW Reunion match. Tarantula goes on but the referee keeps Rey from interfering. Rhyno comes in sans tag and Benoit keeps getting beaten up.

 

Chris reverses a belly to back suplex into a cross body for two. Benoit manages to suplex Rhyno and it’s hot tag to Rey. Something like a tornado DDT put Rhyno down and everything breaks down. Green mist hits Rhyno and a 619 into a German takes Tajiri down. 619 and Rey drops the dime on Rhyno for the pin. Quick match.

 

Rating: C+. Just a quick tag match but they had some decent stuff in there. I’ve always been a fan of mixing two feuds into one tag match like this because you get two feuds advanced at the same time. Nothing wrong with being efficient like that and we got a decent match out of it too. No complains here.

 

Video on Los Guerreros vs. Haas/Benjamin which is up later for the tag titles.

 

Hype video for the iron man match….which is on the show we’re already watching.

 

The Rock is going to be on the cover of GQ.

 

Shaniqua vs. Nidia/Torrie Wilson

 

Shaniqua is a big old girl that won Tough Enough 2. Dawn Marie comes out with Nidia. Basically Shaniqua is getting pushed like a taller and black Chyna, just not one that anyone wanted to see. Torrie and Nidia get in some shots early but then it gets down to tagging. In the words of the theme song of Big Zeke, “This here’s what you call domination.” Torrie is thrown to the floor and a powerbomb ends Nidia.

 

Vince wants Stephanie to quit. Stephanie won’t quit. Vince won’t fire her but says he’ll be rough on her now. This went on for about four months.

 

Highlights of Lesnar vs. Angle I and II (Mania and Summerslam).

 

Eddie and Chavo are glad to be back together. There’s nothing to these promos tonight.

 

Cena is on the roof and raps about underestimating Eddie and the returning Chavo. He’ll win Eddie’s US Title too.

 

Smackdown Tag Titles: Los Guerreros vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

 

The fans loudly cheer for Eddie who starts with Benjamin. They go to the mat first of course and it’s off to Chavo. This is Chavo’s first match after a torn bicep. The champs take over on Eddie but he fights out of the corner, hitting a belly to belly on Shelton to bring in Chavo. Chavo gets a wicked headscissors to send Benjamin to the floor where Los Guerreros hit stereo dives to take both guys out.

 

Back with the challengers still in control, beating Charlie down. Eddie gets taken into the wrong corner and double teamed for a bit. It doesn’t last long as he fights out and brings in Chavo. Shelton kicks his head off and Haas works on the bad arm. Northern lights suplex gets two for Shelton.

 

Back to Haas and the arm work continues. It’s so weird to hear Tazz being professional, talking about his past experience in the ring with the same injury and snapping off intricacies in moves being done. Chavo counters a double team move into a dropkick to Haas and it’s hot tag Eddie. There are Three Amigos but Haas escapes the third and hits a German.

 

Eddie gets a sweet arm drag/headscissors combo to take both guys down. Frog splash is broken up and the second attempt is rolled through because Haas moved. Haas grabs some chairs but Chavo pops up to take out Shelton with a dropkick into the chair into the knee. The Guerreros hit something that looked like Haas broke his freaking neck. Brainbuster sets up the Frog Splash and we have new champions.

 

Rating: B-. Pretty solid match here as both teams know each other very well. They would hold the belts for a little while before the Bashams took them. Chavo would turn heel on Eddie but lose at the Rumble before Eddie would win the world title in February. Anyway pretty fun match here and fine for a TV tag title change.

 

Taz has keys to victory in the Iron Man match. I’m stunned.

 

Everyone is watching on monitors in the back.

 

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle

 

Angle is champion coming in. This is an iron man match with a sixty minute time limit. There’s a 15 second rest period after each fall. The challenger is the heel. Lesnar jumps him to start and we have a big old clock in the corner. Brock beats him down to start but Angle fires back with some clotheslines. Angle gets a shot to the knee and Brock chills on the floor.

 

He stays out there until about 8 and the knee isn’t right. Brock asks for time but he was just channeling his inner Bret Hart as he plays possum. Angle doesn’t mind and hits a set of armdrags to send Brock out to the floor. Lesnar grabs the steps but tosses them back instead of using them. He slides in at 9 and goes right back out to break the count. Well it’s not like they don’t have a lot of time to kill.

 

Brock breaks the count again and make it three times. Four times now. Angle is getting ticked which might be Lesnar’s plan. We’re five minutes into the clock now and we haven’t really gotten anything going but they have plenty of time. Angle goes for the knee and Brock hits the floor AGAIN. Angle charges at him and Brock nails him to finally take over. Angle snaps off a suplex and clotheslines Brock to the floor where he holds the knee again.

 

Lesnar is down and holding the knee but this time Angle goes after him. He rams Brock into the steps head first and they slug it out. Brock gets the better of that and rams Kurt into the post back first. He goes to grab a chair and pops Angle in the head with it for a DQ at about nine minutes. Brock lays Angle out with the chair a bunch of times but it’s in the rest period so it doesn’t count.

 

Brock grabs some water at ringside. Does that mean there’s a conspiracy against him? Angle is barely able to stand so Brock drills him with an F5 to tie it up at 49:38 to go. Brock kicks him in the ribs and asks Angle if he wants to tap. Lesnar puts the ankle lock on Kurt and he taps to make it 2-1 at 47:21. We take a break and come back at 44 minutes left with Lesnar breaking an Angle rally with a knee to the ribs.

 

During the break Brock hit an Angle Slam for two. Brock charges but his shoulder goes into the post. Angle gets a forearm smash and it’s German time. Angle comes at Brock but gets sent back outside. Brock whips him into the railing HARD and this an F5 on the floor for the countout to go up 3-1 at 20 minutes in.

 

We take a break and come back with Angle in control after hitting some suplexes during the break. Lesnar knocks Kurt to the floor with an elbow and takes over soon thereafter. We’re at 35 minutes left now as Brock gets two off an elbow drop. Angle reverses an Irish whip into the Angle Slam and it’s 3-2 at 34 minutes to go. We’re told that if this goes to a tie we’ll have overtime.

 

Kurt pounds away but the Angle Slam is countered into an F5 attempt which is countered into the ankle lock. Brock rolls through and Angle manages to avoid the referee. Brock however drills him in the head with a clothesline so when Angle hits the Angle Slam, there’s no referee. Brock hits Angle low and grabs the title. A shot to the head of Angle puts him down and the referee wakes up to make it 4-2 Brock at 29:30 to go.

 

We take a break and come back with Angle on the floor with 25 minutes to go. Angle pulls him to the floor and hammers away, sending Brock into the steps. With Brock on the outside, Angle goes back in and up top to hit a double axe to Brock’s back. That only gets two back inside though. Kurt goes up again and hits the missile dropkick for a close two. The moonsault that hits once a decade doesn’t hit here and both guys are down.

 

Angle grabs a rollup for two so Brock takes his head off with a clothesline. Brock gets all ticked off and throws Angle over his head without leaving his own feet. Well that was awesome. It only gets two though and both guys are down. Kurt reverses another belly to belly into the ankle lock but Brock rolls through to send Angle to the floor. Angle goes into the steps again and back to the ring we go.

 

That only gets two in the ring as we have 20 minutes left with with score 4-2 Brock. Lesnar unhinges some steps but Angle hits a baseball slide to send them into Brock’s face. Kurt looks like his shoulder is hurt from going into the steps. Angle gets an elbow for two as we take a break. Back and it’s 5-2 as Brock hit a superplex for a fall during the break.

 

We have 14 minuets to go and it’s 5-2 Brock. Brock takes him outside and tries to F5 Angle into the post but Angle reverses to give Brock an F5 into the post with the bad knee hitting the steel. Back inside and Angle throws on a half crab which is very smart. Brock makes the ropes so Angle throws on the ankle lock. Lesnar STILL doesn’t tap so Kurt stomps away at the leg/ankle.

 

Kurt charges in at Brock but gets caught in an F5. Brock can’t counter though and can only get a delayed two. Lesnar goes up top but Angle pops up for the running belly to belly and it’s 5-3 with 9:50 to go. Angle wins a slugout and pounds Brock down in the corner. Angle puts the straps back up which is a new one for him. He tries to load up the Angle Slam but Brock grabs a DDT for two.

 

Kurt misses a right hand and Lesnar hits a German. Make that two Germans. Would you believe three Germans? He tries a fourth (there has been a lot of laying around between them so about 90 seconds passed for all those Germans) but Angle counters into two Germans of his own. Angle rolls through something into the ankle lock and in more or less the same ending at Summerslam, Brock can’t find a rope and taps with 4:11 to go.

 

Four minutes left and both guys are down. Brock still leads 5-4. They’re still down with 3:30 left. Kurt grabs the hold again but Brock rolls through to escape. They’re both down again but Kurt is up and stomping away with three minutes left. Bow and arrow hold, which is like a side version of the STF, goes on to eat up some time. Brock wisely heads to the floor with two minutes left.

 

Smart strategy there as Lesnar only has to play defense and run the clock out to win the title. Kurt puts the ankle lock on Brock outside but back inside we go. Brock runs again so Kurt rams him into the steps. Angle hits some rolling Germans back in the ring and we hit a minute to go. He hits four Germans but this is taking way too long. Brock kicks him low with 30 seconds left but it’s not seen. Ankle lock with the grapevine is on with 15 seconds left but Lesnar hangs on to win the title and end the show.

 

Rating: B. This match runs into the exact same problem that is more or less unavoidable for these matches: you can more or less skip the first 55 minutes and you still see the exciting parts. An hour is too long, even when the guys are having an entertaining match. This was good, but like I said the vast majority of it is just waiting for Angle to make his big comeback. However it does fly by as taking out commercials it runs about 46-48 minutes. Good match, but not a good idea for TV.

 

Overall Rating: C+. Like I said in the previous grade, you can skip about 55 minutes of this show and you’ll see the important points. The iron man match is a trap that is almost impossible to escape in that regard and it’s not a good idea for PPV or TV. It eats up so much time and so many things are put on hold for it. This was an entertaining show and it’s always cool to see a world title change, but a normal match running about half an hour would have been a lot better.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Survivor Series 2005
Date: November 27, 2005
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole, Tazz

The main change here is that we’ve seen the rise of Batista and Cena, with the latter defending against Angle and a crooked referee tonight. On top of that we’ve got Raw vs. Smackdown in a major Survivor Series match which actually feels kind of big for once. Other than that there’s HHH vs. Flair in a Last Man Standing match which should be good. Let’s get to it.

The announcers talk about the main event and bragging rights to start things off.

Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

This is the first match in a best of seven series for the US Title, which would go on until January and saw Randy Orton wrestling four of the matches in Booker’s place. Benoit gets in Booker’s face in the corner and they tie up for a bit. Booker hits an awkward kind of slam but Benoit pops right back up. Benoit sends him to the floor and that goes absolutely nowhere. Back in and Chris takes him to the mat with a leg hold.

After Booker grabs a rope, it’s time for a test of strength with Booker (the heel here) kicking Benoit in the face to take over. When all else fails, kick the guy in the face. A suplex puts Booker down as does an elbow to the face. Booker hits a side slam for two and it’s off to an arm hold followed by an abdominal stretch. After Benoit escapes, Booker kicks his head off for two. This is moving somewhat slowly so far but it’s not bad.

Booker hits an arm trap neckbreker (like Sandow’s Terminus) for two and it’s off to a reverse chinlock. Benoit escapes a vertical suplex and it’s time to roll some Germans, but Booker escapes the third and kicks Benoit in the face again. Another attempt at a kick is caught in a legdrag but the Sharpshooter that follows it up doesn’t quite work, giving Booker a cradle for two.

A snap suplex gets two for Chris and we roll some more Germans. Benoit loads up the Swan Dive but Sharmell’s distraction lets Booker load up a superplex. Benoit goes psycho though and headbutts Booker to the mat, but the Swan Dive misses, allowing Booker to get a rollup with Sharmell holding Booker’s feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: B-. These two are awesome together and both series they had (they did this in WCW for the TV Title) were entertaining stuff. At the end of the day, sometimes there’s nothing wrong with throwing two people out there and letting them have a good match. This was a solid choice for an opener too as both guys got to show off and the fans were getting into it near the end.

Vince wishes Bischoff luck tonight and Montreal is referenced. Of course. Eric says he’ll screw Cena. Cena pops up and says “so Eric Bischoff screws guys. Good luck with that.” Vince then says to Cena, and I 100% quote, “keep it up my nigga.” Booker and Sharmell don’t seem pleased.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Melina

Trish is defending and Melina has MNM, the Smackdown tag champions, with him. This is interpromotional apparently. Melina and MNM had kidnapped Trish and held her captive until the match was agreed to. Well that’s one way to do it. Trish and her psycho fan (the brand new Mickie James) come out fast with Trish sending Melina to the floor and diving on all three members of MNM. Trish is looking great here.

Melina gets thrown around by her hair, sending those furry boots flying. Trish headscissors her down and I think they botch a headscissors out of the corner with Trish kicking Melina in the face instead of getting the ankles around her head. Melina uses her basic abilities (meaning stretching to freakish angles to choke and kick a lot) before going to the floor for a cat fight with Mickie.

As the brawl is going on, MNM tries the Snapshot (elevated double team DDT) on Trish, only to get caught and ejected. Things calm down a bit and Melina puts on a surfboard, which may or may not be an excuse to have Trish’s chest shoved out while wearing tight leather. Trish fights back but Stratusfaction is countered into a face plant for two, drawing the primal screams from Melina.

Stratus comes back with some forearms but runs into a boot in the corner. The Stratusphere puts Melina down and there’s a spinebuster of all things for two for Trish. Chick Kick and Stratusfaction miss and Trish is sent to the apron, but Mickie pulls her out of the way of a charging Melina. Trish goes up and misses about 95% of a top rope bulldog but it’s good enough for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was much better than I was expecting given what level Melina was at here. Trish looked fine (and her wrestling was even good too) but she needed more to work with here. This would lead up to Mickie going totally psycho and evil, setting up an excellent match (other than the ending) at Mania between the two of them.

Watch Jake’s DVD! It’s full of lies but watch it!

Dmitri Young, a baseball payer, is here.

We recap HHH vs. Flair. HHH came back from injury and turned on Flair in their first match together. They fought in a cage match at Taboo Tuesday with Flair somehow pulling out one of the biggest upsets of his career. Tonight it’s a rematch in a last man standing match.

Ric Flair vs. HHH

Last man standing. Oh and Flair is IC Champion but this is non-title. Like HHH would ever actively go after a midcard title. HHH jumps Flair as he comes to the ring and beats on him in the aisle for a bit before we head inside. It’s chair time very quickly but Flair pokes HHH in the ribs with a kendo stick to block the shot. They head into the crowd with Flair chopping HHH through the fans. He swings one time too many though and HHH backdrops him back to ringside.

A suplex puts Flair’s back on the concrete and draws some loud swearing. HHH suplexes him back into the ring and Flair is in trouble. Some quick punches don’t do much good for Flair and we head back to the outside. Flair gets posted, but if that’s not enough to cut him open, HHH carves up his forehead with a freaking SCREWDRIVER. There is blood everywhere in just a matter of seconds, so HHH digs it in even more back in the ring.

HHH takes him down and the knee drop misses by about eight inches. The shot of the second one is even worse and they slug it out in the corner. We head outside again and Flair sends him into the steps to give Flair a breather. Flair pokes HHH in the eye but HHH hits a spinebuster to take him right back down on the concrete. HHH talks trash on the mic and Flair is like “boy Jack Brisco’s tights were tougher than you” and he grabs HHH by the balls. Well when there’s nothing else I guess that’s all you can do. HHH blasts him with the mic to break the grip. I guess that’s Stephanie only territory.

Flair is set for a Pedigree through the announce table but he backdrops HHH through the other table, drawing our first count of the match. That gets a nine and HHH grabs another chair. Back in and HHH has Flair dead to rights but instead of swinging the chair, HHH pounds away with punches instead. HHH pounds away in the corner, so Flair kicks him low again, followed by a chair shot for five. Flair is like YUM and bites at the cut on HHH’s forehead. Flair is kind of a weird dude sometimes.

Ric wraps HHH’s balls around the post and does the same to the leg, which is a smart move in a last man standing match. Then he crushes the balls FOUR MORE TIMES. DUDE FOR THE LOVE OF STEPHANIE GIVE IT A BREAK! Back in and Flair chop blocks HHH, before biting the guy’s thigh. Flair is a pretty sick guy at times no? He goes back to the knee (with kicks this time instead of teeth) but the Figure Four is blocked twice, the second time having Flair knocked to the outside.

For the first time, Flair pulls out a weapon of his own and whacks the knee with a chair. Now the Figure Four goes on and Flair is perfectly allowed to grab the ropes. HHH taps but it doesn’t mean anything here. That draws an 8 with a shaky call from the referee that HHH was up at one point. A double clothesline puts both guys down and HHH rolls to the floor. The Game throws in some steps and clocks Flair in the face with them. Flair needs to scream less. Sometimes you should just be stunned and dazed you know?

HHH charges with the steps again but Flair hits a drop toehold to send HHH into the steps face first. That only gets a nine so they slug it out. Flair sends him into the ropes but ducks his head like an idiot, allowing HHH to hit the Pedigree……which only gets eight. HHH Pedigrees him AGAIN, but Flair is up at 8 and flips off HHH. A THIRD Pedigree gets nine, so HHH “hits” (Get better directors already. This is ridiculous) him in the back with the sledgehammer to finally keep Flair down for ten.

Rating: B+. Bad direction and cuts aside, this was a very solid brawl. They beat the tar out of each other with Flair trying as hard as he could to have one last great moment, but not being evil enough anymore to hang with the new guy in HHH. This was good stuff and thankfully it more or less ended HHH and Flair’s time on camera together.

Flair is taken out on a stretcher.

Buy the Bret Hart DVD! No really, this one is awesome.

Trish and Mickie do an online interview.

Orton gives Team Smackdown a pep talk but talks about Batista as the weak link. Batista shows up and the tune changes. He thinks that since he’s world champion, he should be leader. JBL says it should be him. Batista glares at him and JBL stammers a lot.

Here are Edge and Lita with something to say. Edge is Mr. MITB at this point but doesn’t have a match tonight. Edge talks about how his own talk show, called The Cutting Edge, is debuting soon. Now that we’ve got that covered, let’s talk to Dmitri Young. Edge makes fun of the Tigers for not being able to win the World Series and calls everyone here fat. He makes fun of the Detroit sports teams and now they give Dmitri Young (“Come here Mark Henry. Oh wait…”) a live mic. Young talks about Edge’s balls and lists off all of Detroit’s titles before saying Edge has none. This took seven minutes somehow.

We recap Angle vs. Cena. Basically it’s “I’m Kurt Angle and therefore better than you. NOW LET ME SHOUT EXACTLY WHAT I JUST SAID AGAIN!” Cena is like bring it man and whatever rhymes with man!

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Daivari, Angle’s crony, is the guest referee. The YOU SUCKS from the crowd are censored because of some Bischoff ruling. Daivari is rubbing Angle’s shoulders during the intros. Oh and Cena is defending. The champ is here….right on the mat with Angle working on the leg. Cena comes back with an armdrag into an armbar and some shoulder blocks to send Kurt to the floor. Daivari won’t let Cena go after Angle and Joey is way more excited about it than anyone else. Isn’t Daivari doing what a referee is supposed to do anyway?

Back in and Cena hits some elbows and a release fisherman’s suplex for no count from Daivari. Cena goes to yell at him and is immediately caught in the ankle lock. Cena finally gets to the rope but Daivari kicks his hand off. The hold is broken and Cena spinebusts Angle before slapping Daivari a few times. Angle won’t let Daivari DQ Cena, so Cena knocks them both to the floor.

Kurt gets all fired up and slams Cena into the steps and hits an overhead belly to belly on the outside. A second referee comes out as Daivari is still down. Daivari would be a wrestler one day, so how did he get so much better at being able to take punishment? I’ve never gotten that. Anyway, Cena puts on a reverse waistlock but Cena comes back with a cross body for two. Angle comes back with a knee lift and Cena is in trouble.

The fans are ALL OVER Cena all of a sudden, with a huge Cena Sucks chant. Off to a chinlock with Angle holding the leg back as well. Cena finally comes back with a jawbreaker and a DDT to put both guys down. They slug it out with Cena taking over via some clotheslines. Cena initiates his finishing sequence and is set for the FU, but Angle clotheslines the replacement referee.

A low blow puts Cena down and Angle calls in another referee to count two on the Angle Slam. Angle superplexes Cena down for two but the moonsault misses. Cena loads up another FU but Angle grabs the referee to escape. An uppercut puts the referee down AGAIN and Kurt throws Daivari back in, who is apparently STILL out cold after about ten minutes, breaking Davey Boy Smith’s record from 1994. A Smackdown referee comes down but Angle yells at him, allowing Cena to DDT Daivari. Kurt comes in and walks into the FU for the pin.

Rating: C. This was WAY overbooked and Cena was in over his head with Angle, but it wasn’t bad or anything. Angle vs. Cena was supposed to be a huge feud but it never felt like anything all that special. Cena wasn’t ready for a real showdown with Angle yet but he would get a lot better over the next year or so though. The referee stuff was kind of stupid though, especially with Daivari being out cold for so long.

Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long

Yes this is real, yes it’s happening on PPV, yes we’re supposed to ignore Bischoff being a martial arts expert from WCW and thing Teddy might have a chance in a straight fight, and yes this is going to SUCK. Teddy has some network consultant with him named Palmer Cannon who never lasted long. They’re both GM’s if that wasn’t clear. Teddy poses a lot on the corner and we haven’t had any contact after a minute. Teddy dances a bit and Eric misses a kick. There’s more dancing and no contact still.

We do the exact same thing AGAIN before Eric chokes Teddy with his sash. There are two referees in there for no apparent reason. Eric chokes away but Teddy takes off his shoe and whacks Eric in the head. Bischoff goes to the throat to stop Teddy again…..and here’s the Boogeyman. If you’ve never seen him, picture Darth Maul from the first Star Wars prequel if he ate worms. He sneaks up on Eric and lays him out with a pumphandle slam, giving Teddy the pin.

Rating: S. Six minutes. This match took SIX MINUTES. The WWE owes me six minutes of my life back. John Cena vs. Kurt Angle for the WWE Championship can only get thirteen minutes but this gets SIX? Who in the world thought this was a good idea? At least it went by….no actually it didn’t go by fast. This won worst match of the year and I can’t argue at all.

Team Smackdown is coming to the ring and the Smackdown D-list guys cheer them on.

The Raw guys do the same thing.

We recap Raw vs. Smackdown. At a 3 hour special Raw called WWE Homecoming, there was going to be a Smackdown six man tag but Bischoff turned the lights out on them because he said they were inferior to Raw. This prompted a multiple PPV running feud where they kept invading each others’ shows, setting up a battle for supremacy here.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Shawn Michaels, Carlito, Chris Masters, Kane, Big Show,

Batista, Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio, Bobby Lashley, John Bradshaw Layfield

Show and Kane are tag champions, Batista is world champion but is injured due to Big Show and Kane attacking him over and over, and Lashley is undefeated at this point. This hasn’t been mentioned yet on the commentary for pretty obvious reasons, but Orton is replacing Eddie Guerrero who died about ten days before this. Shawn vs. Randy gets things going and it’s a very slow opening with both guys feeling the other out.

Orton gets thing going by slapping Shawn so Shawn literally slaps Orton down to the mat. Three times in about 30 seconds, Shawn takes Orton to the mat with a headlock, Orton grabs a headscissors to counter, and Shawn escapes. Randy charges into a boot in the corner but slams Shawn down to take over again. The match is starting slow but the bickering from the commentators is funny stuff, as they’re taking this rivalry personally.

Off to Masters who gets his eyes raked by Orton but the power game of Masters takes over. Lashley comes in to a reaction from the fans and they do the two power guys collide with each other. Bobby takes over with a slam but Masters clotheslines him down. Masters tries the Masterlock but Bobby easily blocks it. Carlito is pulled in and thrown around as well, culminating with a powerslam for two.

Off to Shawn to see what he can do with this monster, but Lashley slams him off the top. A suplex puts Shawn down so Carlito comes in sans tag and takes the Dominator. Shawn is about to take one as well, but Kane breaks it up and chokeslams Lashley to give Shawn the pin. Rey comes in next and Kane hits him in the back as well to give Shawn another advantage. Masters drops some elbows on Rey to keep him on the mat which is the right move.

A gorilla press drop puts Rey down again and here’s Kane who misses an elbow. Mysterio starts speeding things up and gets two off a standing moonsault. Kane comes up with a very easy counter by kicking a charging Rey in the face. Off to a bearhug as this is the longest segment of the match so far. Rey fights out of it and slides between Kane’s legs to make the tag to Batista.

Big Dave gets in some shots but the bandages all over his arm and chest are a target for Kane. Kane gets in a shot and everything breaks down, allowing Batista to hit a spinebuster on Kane for the elimination. Big Show chokeslams Batista for a very close two but Kane and Big Show double chokeslam Batista to put him out. JBL immediately tries the Clothesline on Show but gets grabbed by the throat. JBL kicks Show low, but gets caught jumping off the middle rope. That’s freaking SCARY power by Show. Show superkicks Orton down and LAUNCHES Rey into the corner.

Orton guillotines Show into the Clothesline from JBL who tags….Mysterio? The 619 sets up the RKO which sets up another Clothesline which sets up a seated senton from Rey for the elimination. Cool sequence here as the team all went after Show to get rid of him. Show would DESTROY Rey on a special Smackdown to get revenge. Shawn goes after JBL on the floor and gets thrown away in a fallaway slam.

To recap, it’s Mysterio, JBL and Orton vs. Shawn, Carlito and Masters. It’s Masters vs. Rey now with Masters getting two after sending Mysterio into the corner. Off to Carlito for a legdrop and chinlock for a few moments. Mysterio fights up and makes a blind tag to JBL who ENDS Carlito with a Clothesline to make it 3-2. Masters and JBL slug it out a bit but Rey tags himself in. JBL kicks Chris in the face to give his teammate an advantage, setting up a 619 and the springboard legdrop to take out Masters.

So it’s Shawn vs. Rey/Orton/JBL and Shawn is STILL down on the floor from the fallaway slam. Mysterio starts with Shawn and things go faster. Rey hits the 619 to send Shawn across the ring, but the West Coast Pop jumps right into the superkick ala Shelton Benjamin for the elimination. JBL comes in and tries the Clothesline but gets superkicked down AGAIN to make it Orton vs. Shawn. There were about fifteen seconds between the two pins.

The RKO and superkick both miss so Shawn dives on Orton on the floor to take him out. The fans want Taker who was promised to be here tonight. There are the forearm and superkick followed by some clotheslines. The top rope elbow hits Randy but Shawn can’t cover. JBL is still at ringside for some reason and he grabs a chair. Shawn loads up the superkick again but JBL shoves down the outside referee and misses a chair shot. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the final pin.

Rating: B. This was a direct copy of Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff from two years ago, even down to the final participants, but the results were a bit inverted. Here, the part before the solo Shawn part was better but Shawn’s solo part wasn’t as good. Also, Batista running in was better than JBL’s chair stuff here. It’s still probably a better match overall, mainly due to the better opening part.

The low level Smackdown guys come out to put Orton on their shoulders…..and there’s a gong. We’ve got lights, we’ve got chanting, we’ve got druids carrying a casket, and a Dead Man coming out of said casket. Taker walks into the ring and beats up some jobbers as the roster bails. Orton is scared to death to end the show. Hell in a Cell for these two next month.

Overall Rating: B. This show is pretty much never talked about other than occasionally the main event and that’s a shame. This is an entertaining and solid show all around with the only bad match being a battle of the GM’s, and even that only runs six minutes. You have a bloodbath in HHH vs. Flair, a fun main event with entertaining commentary and some solid wrestling all around. Nothing is great, but if you’ve got two hours and forty five minutes to spare, check this out as it’s quality stuff.

Ratings Comparison

Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B

Redo: B-

Trish Stratus vs. Melina

Original: B

Redo: C-

HHH vs. Ric Flair

Original: B-

Redo: B+

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Original: B+

Redo: C

Theodore Long vs. Eric Bischoff

Original: O (For Oh I can’t think about this anymore)

Redo: S (For Six Minutes)

Team Smackdown vs. Team Raw

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: B

I’m surprised by how much more I liked the girls and Cena vs. Angle. They’re good but they’re not that good. Still a solid show though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/14/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2005-a-forgotten-almost-classic/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 27, 2000
Location: Hilton Coliseum, Ames, Iowa
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re approaching Armageddon here and we’re just past Survivor Series. Angle is world champion at the moment but I don’t think his opponent has been announced for the next PPV yet. The main event tonight is Angle vs. Austin in I believe a non-title match. Austin isn’t quite yet back to his levels before he took the year off for neck surgery, so it’s hard to say what to expect here. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from Smackdown of Austin snapping and beating up everyone in sight.

Here’s Angle to open the show in full warmup gear. He talks about how he’s amazing and all, but he doesn’t like having to look over his shoulder every time he performs. Angle says wrestling is the only profession where someone can assault you on the job and not get in trouble but be praised! Kurt talks about Taker, HHH and Austin attacking people and how it’s just another day at the office. He’s had it because he’s a wrestler and not a sports entertainer. This is goofy Kurt still, so this isn’t a big shoot or anything.

We’re thirteen days away from a show called Armageddon and if these acts of violence don’t end, he’s taking the title and going home. Here are Commissioner Foley and Lieutenant Commissioner Debra who aren’t cool with that. Foley talks about how Stephanie keeps interfering in Kurt’s matches but Kurt says that makes no difference while insulting Iowans’ intelligence.

Mick says Stephanie and HHH aren’t expected to be here tonight due to some travel issues. There’s going to be a world title match at Armageddon if Angle is still champion. It’s Rock vs. Rikishi for the title shot, but that’s not all. Also, Angle has to defend against someone to be announced later.

Rock arrives.

Edge and Christian talk about how the year 2000 is a vintage year for sodas when Angle comes in. Edge: “You totally presented arguments and backed them up with logic and reasoning!” Edge and Angle try to figure out who Kurt is facing tonight when Christian sees Taker arriving on a monitor. Edge: “Holy rematches Kurt!”

Trish Stratus/T&A vs. Hollies

All three of the Holly cousins here. The girls start with Trish firing off some kicks to start. Molly fights back with chops to the ample target of Trish’s chest. Trish brings in Test to face Hardcore in an ECW preview. Test pounds away in the corner but gets caught by a top rope cross body for two. Off to Crash for a missile dropkick (and a POP) for two but Test pounds him about the head and shoulders.

The future Tensai comes in and hits a delayed butterfly suplex for two. Crash gets to play Ricky Morton a bit and we get his usual good selling. A jawbreaker allows the tag to Hardcore who kicks Albert low to take over. Well when all else fails I guess. Everything breaks down and Molly hits a flip dive off the apron to take Trish down. Hardcore ducks the big boot of Test so that it knocks out Albert and a dropkick gets the pin on the big bald guy.

Rating: D+. The Hollies were a decent midcard act and putting the over a team like this was fine. It helped that Molly had this great cuteness to her and she was poured into the tops she wore. Trish was just a gorgeous blonde at this point that didn’t have any skills in the ring at all but she would get better.

Angle sucks up to Kane (“You’re welcome over for Christmas!”) and asks to talk about something related to Taker. Kane goes with Kurt.

Rock is going to be on some TV show.

Rikishi says he deserves the title shot and that he’ll take out Rock tonight once and for all.

Taker is tuning up his bike when Kane jumps him and the brawl is on. Angle/Edge/Christian are watching on a monitor and seem very pleased.

Intercontinental Title: Billy Gunn vs. Eddie Guerrero

Billy beat Eddie on Smackdown to win the title and this is the rematch. Eddie starts fast but gets caught in the corner and punched in the face. A clothesline gets two for Gunn but a charge in the corner misses Eddie. Guerrero chokes away in the corner and we head to the outside. Gunn holds his back and we head back in for a belly to back suplex for two from Eddie.

Billy gets rammed into the buckle a few times and it’s all Eddie so far. The champ comes back with a powerslam for two but Eddie dropkicks him in the face to shift momentum right back. Eddie goes up top but gets superplexed right back down to put both guys on the mat. Back up and Gunn hits a tilt-a-whirl slam for two but here’s Saturn with a distraction that gets two for Eddie. Malenko comes in and blasts Billy in the back but Billy hits a quick cobra clutch slam on Eddie to retain.

Rating: C-. This was short and not great, but they certainly put Billy over strong. It’s not that it mattered much as Benoit would win the title soon, but for the time it was a good rub for him. I’m not sure why they kept pushing Billy as the guy just didn’t work in singles matches, but at least they were trying I guess.

The Radicalz come in for a four on one beatdown on Gunn post match. Benoit would get the title in a few weeks.

During the break, Taker talked to Foley and gets a match with Kane tonight.

Here’s Angle to watch the #1 contenders match.

Rikishi vs. The Rock

Rock won the first match between these two at Survivor Series. Rock pounds away to start and takes the fat guy down with a clothesline. A Samoan Drop gets two and Rock keeps hammering away. Rikishi gets in some shots but Rock punches him right back down. The guy in the thong hits a belly to belly suplex but Rock puts him down with a spinebuster to set up the Sharpshooter but Angle runs in for the DQ. Nothing match here that was all about the run-in ending. Rock wins by DQ if that’s not clear.

Dean Malenko is hitting on Lita but gets turned down, so The Radicalz ram a door onto Lita and the Hardys gets in a brawl with them as a result. The Hardys get left laying due to the numbers game.

Undertaker vs. Kane

It’s a big brawl to start of course with Kane taking over early on. Taker comes back with a big boot and a clothesline for two. A side slam gets two for Kane and we head to the floor. Taker rams his brother into the barricade to slow him down but back in, Kane stomps away to gain control again. Actually scratch that as Taker hits a chokeslam but Edge and Christian run in for the lame DQ before Taker can load up the Last Ride.

Rating: D. What are you expecting from a Kane vs. Undertaker match in a four minute match with a run-in ending? These two didn’t really work that well when Taker was a biker, and when you consider how bad their matches got when he was the Dead Man, that should tell you a lot about how bad things got.

Angle runs in as well to make it a big four on one beatdown.

Post break Foley yells at Angle for being a coward, but Angle says he did what he has to do to keep the title. Foley says the title is on the line tonight and if Edge and Christian interfere, they’re gone for 90 days. Angle’s opponent: Steve Austin.

K-Kwik/Road Dogg vs. Steven Richards/Val Venis

Kwik is more famous as R-Truth, so I’ll be referring to him as Truth for the sake of my own simplicity. Richards says he and the RTC will keep doing things until people see things their way. Dogg and Truth take over in a hurry with the RTC being sent to the floor. Truth gets thrown on top of all of them with Lawler being glad that Ivory may have hurt her ankle. It’s Venis vs. Dogg to start with Roadie taking over. Back to Truth who shouts at the crowd and punches a lot.

Back to Road Dogg to face Richards with the guy in a tie hitting a suplex for two. Both Richards and Roadie try cross bodies and both guys go down in a heap. It’s a double tag and the advantage goes to Truth, meaning it’s time to dance. Everything breaks down and the RTC gets sent into each other. Truth’s piledriver is countered into a sitout Alabama Slam by Val which gets two, so Richards loads up Truth in a superplex. Since this is the WWF and not ECW, Richards gets countered into a sitout gordbuster for the pin for Truth.

Rating: D+. Not much here but Truth and Dogg never were anything special. The rapping thing was an attempt to get Road Dogg away from the Outlaws, which makes little sense when you remember how much rhyming he did in his Outlaws intros. The RTC was a solid midcard stable, especially considering they were a parody of the real life PTC.

Foley is outside getting a breath of air when Debra comes out to tell him it’s cold. Tiger Ali Singh, basically the original Jinder Mahal, comes up with Low Down and says they should be allowed inside. Tonight it’s Singh vs. Steve Blackman for the Hardcore Title, which makes scares Singh.

Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn/Dean Malenko vs. Hardy Boys/Chris Jericho

Jericho is a mystery partner. It’s a big brawl to start with Benoit and Jericho fighting on the floor. We get the classic one heel falls onto the other heel’s balls with Dean falling on Saturn, followed by Poetry in Motion to Malenko. Things finally settle down and it’s Jeff vs. Dean to start things off. This is when Dean was a ladies’ man which never worked at all. Off to Benoit with the Radicalz in control.

Jeff grabs a sunset flip out of the corner on Benoit for two but it’s quickly back to Saturn for more of a beating. The Radicalz take turns on Jeff’s leg and make a lot of quick tags. Saturn cannonballs down on the leg but Jeff mule kicks Dean away. Hot tag brings in Jericho who cleans house. Everything breaks down and Jeff dives onto everything out Dean and Jericho on the floor. In the ring it’s the Liontamer on Malenko for the submission.

Rating: C. Just a six man here but it would put Jericho in the feud against the Radicalz which resulted in Jericho vs. Benoit at the Rumble in an awesome ladder match. The Hardys and the other two Radicalz didn’t mean much here but they filled in spots as well as anyone else would have.

Post match Eddie runs in and it’s a big Radicalz beatdown.

Edge and Christian give Angle a pep talk.

Hardcore Title: Tiger Ali Singh vs. Steve Blackman

Singh is in a suit here and is challenging. Tiger runs to the floor before the bell rings so Blackman beats him up out there. We head into the ring and Tiger gets beaten up even more. There’s a trashcan lid to Tiger’s head and a bulldog onto the same lid. Blackman gets his signature sticks but Tiger hides in the corner. The hiding only works for awhile and the beating continues. Blackman rips off the turban and a top rope kendo stick shot ends this massacre. Tiger literally had zero offense.

Rating: D. I don’t know what the point of this was but at least it wasn’t that long. Blackman finally found something he was good at in the Hardcore stuff, but other than that guy was nothing interesting at all. Singh was a guy that was always around but never did anything and I have no idea why he had a job for as long as he did.

Edge and Christian say they’ll be there for Kurt as soon as the match ends. Rock comes in and fights the Canadians until Foley breaks it up. Edge and Christian get ejected from the arena.

WWF World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Steve Austin

Angle is defending of course. Angle immediately takes it to the mat and Austin is frustrated. Kurt heads to the floor and shows off the medals a bit. I love goofy Kurt as only he would try to tick Austin off even more. Back in and Steve takes it to the mat with a headlock to slow things up. Angle fights up and tries a leapfrog but gets caught in the headlock one more time.

They run the ropes a bit and Kurt hooks a front facelock as the fans are chanting something pro-Austin. Austin busts out a freaking fireman’s carry and drops some knees to take over again. Angle takes it right back to the mat and hooks a backslide for two. Kurt’s belly to belly is broken up by right hands but Angle sends him to the floor. Austin rams him into the table and we head back inside. This is a very different kind of match but it’s working quite well.

Angle hooks a suplex for two and now he’s getting frustrated. Austin hooks a sleeper but Angle sends him to the floor to escape. Back in and it’s an abdominal stretch for the champion and he has the toe hooked. Gorilla Monsoon smiles on you Angle. After Kurt gets caught escaping the ropes, Austin rams Angle face first into the buckle a few times. Back to the floor they go and nothing of note happens there, so we head back in for the Thesz press. Here comes Stephanie trying to look intimidating but Austin flips her off instead. Kurt grabs a rollup for two but Austin hits the Stunner….and here’s HHH for the DQ.

Rating: B. This was a very old school style match but it worked really well. Austin’s technical abilities are often forgotten because he’s a legendary brawler, but he could certainly hold his own on a mat. Using a lot of holds here was a nice change of pace instead of these two punching each other for ten minutes. Having HHH show up after being dropped in a car off a forklift eight days ago was stupid back then and it’s stupid now too, but that’s the WWF for you.

HHH beats on Austin even more and stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show was pretty exhausting. All of these short matches didn’t do anything for me other than maybe the six man. Aside from that it was stuff setting up for later, which is ok but it gets annoying for two hours. The main event is good and I’m assuming that’s why this was requested, but other than that there’s nothing to see here at all.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 25, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Todd Kenely, Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s Championship Night or whatever the latest gimmick show these guys have going on is called. I’m not a big fan of having I think three title matches less than two weeks after BFG, but since the shows themselves aren’t worth watching, they need a gimmick to draw in fans. There’s a world title match tonight with an opponent for Hardy to be announced. Let’s get to it.

We open with Hogan and Hardy in the back. Hogan is picking Hardy’s first challenger tonight and Hardy is ready for anyone. Hardy leaves and we get a really stupid voiceover from Hardy, talking about all of his potential opponents. He doesn’t care who he faces here.

X-Division Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Zema Ion

We’ve got split announcers tonight, with Kenely (not sure who he is) and JB doing the first hour and the usual boys doing the second. Ion tries a quick rollup for two but it’s a standoff. Rob gets a gorilla press of all thigns and a pair of moonsaults for two. Ion heads to the floor and Rob is sent into the barricade when he follows. Ion charges into a kick in the ring but Rob misses a dive to the floor. Zema hits a flip dive over the top to take the champ out. Back in and Ion misses a majorly flippy dive so Rob kicks him in the face and hits Rolling Thunder for no cover. The Five Star retains the title at 4:33.

Rating: C-. Van Dam is a good pick for the title because you’re going to get at least a watchable match out of him and a win over him will mean something. Thankfully this should get him past Ion who was champion because….I’m not sure why he was champion, but it might be because he’s still around when everyone else from the X-Division revival

As Van Dam celebrates, Matt Morgan takes his head off with the Carbon Footprint. Joey Ryan has the X Title and poses with it. Morgan says this is what Hogan wanted.

Austin Aries is listening to the people trying to get the title match. The options are Angle, Anderson, Storm and Ray. Aries gets a shot anyway so he doesn’t care. We get some good jabs at Hogan’s “acting” and Aries says he’s going to use these guys for his personal amusement once they’re eliminated.

Here are Daniels and Kaz who don’t like the lack of tricks they’ve been getting for all the tricks they’ve been through. Daniels was left alone last week because Hogan screwed with Kaz’s travel. Kaz thinks the new champions are here in this country illegally. Daniels takes the mic from him and says that it’s not really Championship Thursday is it Suburban Commando? It’s a crime that everyone else is getting a shot but not them.

Daniels accuses Dixie of pandering to a Latino audience and says they should wear sombreros and drink tequila. Maybe they should call themselves Dos Stereotipicos. Daniels has a petition to get another title match. Well that’s better than the auto rematch clause. Cue the champions who say they’ll help with the petition. Hernandez has his title wrapped a chain around his neck. The brawl is on and the champs clear the ring in about a second. I think we have a rematch made. Kaz: “GIVE ME THAT CLIPBOARD BACK! THAT’S AN EXPENSIVE PEN!”

Hogan eliminates Anderson for nothing having enough fire. Aries tries to interview him. “Was it not taking enough vitamins? Not saying enough BROTHERS?” Aries says Anderson would be an easy opponent than him and throws a drink in Anderson’s face. The fight is on and Aries is down off a WICKED PAPER POSTER SHOT TO THE HEAD! A match is made and Anderson laughs. Then, to further the stupidity, we hear the director yell CUT. I mean…..really?

D-Von is with Aces and 8’s. The President has said no masks can come off. There are some women here to entertain them apparently, but first they have to take someone out. A member throws a dart at a bunch of pictures of wrestlers but we don’t see who it hit.

TV Title: Robbie T vs. Samoa Joe

Geez enough with the Robs getting title shots! Joe pounds away in the corner to start but T comes back with a spin kick to take him down. Joe puts on the Clutch and after a meaningless Robbie E distraction, Joe puts the hold on again while jumping on T’s back. Terry falls back on him but in an AWESOME moment, Joe sits up and with an INSANE look on his face, puts the hold back on and gets the tap at 2:28. Look up that ending. It looked great.

We recap Tara taking the title from Tessmacher along with Jesse from Big Brother. Did I mention I can’t stand reality TV?

Back to Hogan’s office and Ray apparently isn’t focused enough. He’s going to find D-Von and take care of him, basically eliminating himself.

Anderson yells at a guy in a headset and apparently it’s Anderson vs. Aries next. I know this because the announcer said it’s Anderson vs. Aries next.

Mr. Anderson vs. Austin Aries

They start immediately and Anderson yells mean things at Austin. Anderson takes his shirt off as Aries chills on the floor. A fireman’s carry goes nowhere and things slow down. Aries puts brass knuckles in Anderson’s tights but the referee takes them away. That was kind of odd. The fans chant cheater and Anderson pounds him into the corner again. Anderson gets sent to the floor and there’s the suicide dive as we take a break.

Back with Aries still in control but the fans are cheering for the cheater now. Anderson tries to fight back with some elbows and a clothesline that spins Aries inside out. Anderson’s spinning neckbreaker takes Aries down but the Regal Roll is countered again. The double rotation kick sends Aries to the floor and Anderson adds a plancha.

The fireman’s carry is loaded up again but Aries takes out the referee. Aries steals the knuckles from Aries and Anderson gets them. The referee takes them away and Aries knocks him cold with another pair. Aries pulls Anderson on top of him to feign a pin attempt before putting on the Last Chancery for the pin at 11:49.

Rating: C-. This was an awkward match, likely because Anderson is so unorthodox in the ring. Not a horrible match but it was missing by a half beat. Aries is doing some cool stuff and I like him way better as a heel. I like Anderson way better off my TV, but I guess he’s better in this role than another, but it’s not like it’s a great improvement.

Brooke and Tara/Jesse do their usual stuff. Brooke tells Jesse that ODB has an eye on him. Isn’t ODB married?

Tenay and Taz take over in what is supposed to be a big deal I think. We recap the show up to this point.

Knockouts Title: Miss Tessmacher vs. Tara

Tara is defending and gets jumped before she can get in the ring. After more of a beating, a Jesse distraction lets Tara take over with some cheap shots. Tara slams Tessmacher’s face into the mat a few times but stops for a kiss. From Jesse unfortunately. More kissing occurs and Tara misses her slingshot somersault legdrop. Tessmacher comes back and hits her Stinkface before hitting an X Factor out of the corner. Tara grabs Terrell and Jesse lowbridges Tessmacher. Widow’s Peak retains the title at 3:57.

Rating: D+. Annoying non-celebrity aside, Tessmacher contines to do nothing at all for me. She’s just there and is exactly the same character she was a year ago. Also she’s just not that good in the ring, period. Her looks are great but mix up the outfits a bit already. Tara continues to be annoying with Jesse so it’s a success on that front. Hopefully this feud is done now.

Post match more making out occurs until Brooke comes out to shake her head. Apparently ODB is calling out Jesse next week on Open Fight Night.

Joseph Park goes in to talk to Hogan about fighting Aces and 8’s. Hogan says Park has had one match (he’s had two) and also he’s worried about Park’s liability. Park has a piece of paper. Hogan: “What’s that?” Park: “It’s a piece of paper.” He goes on to say it’s a letter of indemnification which means if he gets hurt fighting Aces and 8’s, it’s no one’s fault but Park’s and there’s no legal responsibility for anyone else.

Here’s Ray who again thanks Sting for letting him be his partner. Not much shocks Ray anymore, but the D-Von reveal did. Ray wants an explanation from D-Von but gets the whole group instead. They get in the ring and D-Von says they’re not friends or a team or anything anymore. D-Von says this has nothing to do with Ray anymore and it’s all about Hogan. Apparently this is because Hogan said that he wanted D-Von re-signed to the company, but Hogan and Dixie never called. In other words, if you don’t follow TNA online and follow Hogan on Twitter, this whole story makes VERY little sense.

D-Von says it’s over but Ray says it’s over when he says it’s over. Ray says D-Von is lying and he talks about the Guns coming back from 3D like two years ago and how they should have retired as champions. Years ago D-Von said they’re rich so screw the fans. D-Von says yeah he said it, so Ray wants to fight one on one right now. D-Von says it’s on his time but Ray says he’ll call him out next week on Open Fight Night.

Ryan says he wants the X Title and Morgan says Hogan started this.

It’s also Gut Check next week. The wrestler is Christian York. He wrestled on the first TNA show and in ECW.

Hogan says he’s got something big planned for Storm in the future but tonight Angle has the title shot.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff has two belts here: the vanity belt around his waist and the real one over his shoulder. We get some big match intros and we’re ready to go. Jeff takes him down with an armbar followed by the slingshot dropkick in the corner. Jeff goes to the corner but gets shoved out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Hardy escaping a chinlock and they clothesline each other.

Hardy starts speeding things up and kicks Angle to the floor. There’s a big clothesline off the apron and back inside for Whisper in the Wind for two. Angle comes back with Rolling Germans for two. The Slam is countered into the Twisting Stunner for no cover. Hardy goes up for the Swanton but Angle throws him off the top for two. Angle busts out a powerbomb for two and puts on a quick ankle lock, but Jeff kicks him off. The same kick puts Angle down but the Swanton misses.

The Angle Slam gets two so Jeff hits two straight Twists and the Swanton for just two. Jeff charges at Kurt and gets backdropped to the floor. Angle is spitting up blood. There go the straps as Hardy is thrown back in. Another Slam is countered into a rollup for the pin at 14:29 to keep the belt on Hardy.

Rating: B. When you need a solid match, call Kurt Angle. He’s great in spots like this where you need a main event and have no one else to throw in there. His resume is good enough to buy as a challenger no matter what he’s been doing lately. Either way, good stuff here and a very solid TV main event.

Post match Aries jumps Hardy and says the rematch is at Turning Point. Aries is so confident he’ll win that he takes the belt with him. The original, not the stupid one.

We cut to the back to see Angle getting destroyed by Aces and 8’s to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I liked the show, but man alive was it exhausting. There’s WAY too much stuff going on here between all of the title matches and the backstage stuff and the reality show stuff with Hogan and it’s all just too much. TNA is the opposite of WWE in that respect as while WWE has too much time on their hands, TNA doesn’t have enough and you get shows like this where there’s so much stuff going on that you can’t get a chance to breathe.

Still though, this was WAY better than last week and I feel better about where they’re going now. One more note: slow down on the gimmick shows. We’re going from Championship Thursday to Open Fight Night next week. Space them out or cut one. Back to back is too much, and there’s likely another gimmick that I can’t think of.

Results

Rob Van Dam b. Zema Ion – Five Star Frog Splash

Samoa Joe b. Robbie T – Koquina Clutch

Austin Aries b. Mr. Anderson – Last Chancery

Tara b. Miss Tessmacher – Widow’s Peak

Jeff Hardy b. Kurt Angle – Swanton Bomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 18, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

We’re in a new era now as BFG 2012 is officially over and we now have a member of Aces and 8’s known in the form of D-Von. On top of that, they have full access to the Impact Zone, which is completely different from the last few months when they came and went as they pleased because…..well because that’s what the stipulations say. Oh and Hardy is now world champion. Let’s get to it.

After a highlight package from BFG we’re ready to go.

Aces and 8’s arrive to open the show. They point to the monitor and the boss and company are toasting themselves in the back. D-Von is officially the newest member apparently and not the leader. That doesn’t exactly make things better but it’s a thing at least. Here’s D-Von to the arena as well to celebrate with the group of Aces and 8’s in the ring. The fans chant that D-Von sold out.

D-Von says that the Aces and 8’s are the ones that always had his back and the people in the Impact Zone are inbred pieces of crap. He joined Aces and 8’s because he can. He thanks the guy that brought him into the group because….and he trails off. Regarding Bubba, this is payback for two years ago when Bubba turned on him and put his son through a table. You know, because everyone was waiting on resolution to THAT.

Cue Sting, Ray, and about half the roster. It’s a big brawl almost immediately and here comes Hogan……and we take a break. Yep we take a break nine minutes into the show with a brawl going on and with nothing explained. Back with Aces and 8’s out of the ring with TNA standing tall. They charge the ring again but then stop. Hogan says with full access comes the requirement to fight. Sting wants to fight D-Von tonight and Hogan says that fight is on or D-Von is gone. D-Von says ok. This story is so freaking dull.

We recap the world title match from the PPV. Hardy gets a celebration tonight. Aries says he’ll attend and bring cookies.

Back with Hogan in the back talking about how Jeff Hardy is defending next week. It’ll be against one of four challengers: Storm, Anderson, the winner of a triple threat, and someone else to be named. Park comes in and Hogan praises Park. Hogan sends the cameras out so they can chat.

TV Title: Samoa Joe vs. Robbie E

Joe pounds away to start and drops a knee for two. Robbie T blocks the MuscleBuster and Joe no sells chops. Joe dives onto T with a suicide elbow and kicks E out of the air. Back in and the MuscleBuster sets up the Clutch for the submission at 2:38.

Robbie T gets choked out too.

Jesse Godderz is pressing tara in the back. They make out a bit and drop celebrity names.

Tara vs. ODB

Non-title and ODB yells at Eric on the phone for not being here. She’s still on the phone during her entrance. ODB grabs Tara and pounds away to start. Apparently Tessmacher gets a rematch next week. ODB puts her ring in her picket which can’t be a good thing. She slams Tara down and talks to Eric on the phone some more. Jesse gets his face shoved in ODB’s chest and it’s back to the phone. Tara keeps pulling ODB’s hair and let’s stop for more kissing. ODB takes a shot from the flak, spits it at Jesse, and hits the Bam for the pin at 3:14.

Rating: D. I hated this. I hate reality TV, I hate alcohol, I thought the phone thing was stupid, and I hate the booking of having the new champion lose four days after the title change. Oh and I hate women’s wrestling in general. Nothing to see here and I don’t care about anything that just happened.

AJ talks to Angle and says it’s every man for himself in the three way tonight.

Kid Kash/Gunner vs. Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero

Non-title again. SuperMex throws both guys around and gorilla presses Kash down. An overhead belly to belly sends the 40+ year old Kid flying. Off to Gunner who gets caught by a slingshot hilo for two. Heel double teaming gives the challengers the advantage. The beating goes on for awhile but Chavo fights back with a European uppercut. Hot tag brings in SuperMex who cleans house, sends Kash flying, and a Chavo top rope rope cross body gets the pin at 5:04.

Rating: D+. This was just an extended workout for the champions here in a match that wasn’t interesting. Kash and Gunner are just there as a jobbing team and when you only have like five teams, having one of them job all the time is pretty pointless. Nothing to see here, exactly like the rest of the show.

Park wants to fight Aces and 8’s. Ray wants to talk to Hogan alone but Hogan says it’s ok to have Park there. Ray thanks Sting for letting him fight with him. He wants to be in the match with D-Von, but Hogan puts him in as one of the four guys next week instead. This ticks Ray off and Sting has to play peacemaker.

Here’s Hardy for the championship celebration…..and he has a custom belt with the face on it. WHY DOES HE KEEP DOING THAT??? He gets pyro and confetti and all the jazz you would expect him to. Jeff thanks the fans for being with him through everything and is excited for his first defense next week.

Cue Aries with balloons and cookies. The fans want cookies. Aries congratulates Jeff on beating him on a PPV which no one else could do. Aries loses the balloons and Hardy knocks the cookies away. Austin isn’t sure where his world title went but that’s not it on Jeff’s shoulder. He can cash in his rematch clause anywhere but he’s going to wait for Hardy to crumble under the pressure. Aries makes fun of the new belt and spits on it. Jeff tries a Twist but Aries bails. This was the first good segment of the night.

AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Kurt Angle

No Kaz in sight and the winner gets to be in the Championship competition next week with Anderson, Ray and Storm. Daniels gets shoved down to start and the other guys go at it. AJ takes over with the drop down/kick but Daniels gets back up and jumps Styles. Angle goes all nuts and suplexes both guys silly to take over. AJ immediately comes back with an enziguri but the Clash is countered into the ankle lock.

Angle is rammed into the post by Daniels as is his custom, leaving us with the life partners of Daniels and Styles. AJ hits the springboard forearm on Angle, Daniels hits a Blue Thunder Bomb on AJ, AJ Pele’s Angle down before moonsaulting Daniels on the floor. AJ is holding his knee and limping now. Back in and Angle hits an Angle Slam out of nowhere for the pin on Daniels at 6:55.

Rating: C+. Not terrible here but it felt like this ended quickly. Maybe AJ’s knee really is hurt but it’s hard to say. Either way, this was fine while it lasted but it could have been a lot better. Angle winning is a ncie idea though as he hasn’t been in the world title picture in awhile. That’s the perk of him: you can thrown him in there anytime and it works fine.

AJ won’t shake Angle’s hand post match.

Joey Ryan and Matt Morgan run into Hogan in the back. Hogan welcomes Ryan and yells at Morgan for interfering last Sunday. Morgan calls Hogan Terry and is mad about Hogan not making Morgan a big name. Hogan says he defended Morgan in creative meetings for years. Morgan is mad and slams Hogan against the wall and leaves. Hogan chuckles.

After a recap of Storm vs. Roode, here’s the Cowboy for a chat. Storm says what goes around comes away, and a year ago this whole thing started with Bobby Roode. It was on his bucket list of things to do. Now he wants the world title back. This brings out Roode who talks about the two of them promising to leave it all in the ring. Storm asks for a chair so Roode can have a seat while he kisses up to Roode. Bobby says Storm should be kissing up to Roode for launching his career. Storm apparently owes Roode for getting his first title and declares himself the better man. Last Call knocks Roode out cold.

Sting vs. D-Von

Now THERE is a main even! D-Von jumps him to start but gets caught in a release flapjack. Sting kicks a the legs but misses the Stinger Splash. Sting pounds away on D-Von and we head to the floor as we take a break. Back with D-Von taking over in a slugout and choking Sting a bit. D-Von fires off some elbows to the chest and is in total control.

A diving headbutt gets two as the fans are split on this one. Off to the chinlock followed by a jumping back elbow to take Sting down again. D-Von misses a middle rope headbutt and Sting makes his comeback. Splash, Death Drop, Deathlock, but here are Aces and 8’s for the DQ at 10:57.

Rating: D. It’s freaking 1997 all over again. At the end of the day, D-Von is a career tag team guy who won the lower midcard title in TNA for his only career singles success. On top of that, you had Sting beating him at the end which is the last thing you want to do for a guy who is supposed to be a big deal now. Nothing to see here.

It’s a big brawl to end the show until Ray runs out with a bat to clear the ring to end the show. IT REALLY IS 1997 ALL OVER AGAIN!

Overall Rating: D. That’s being about as generous as I can be here. This show bored me half to death with D-Von doing nothing at all to energize it. On top of that, it’s like nothing has momentum and there’s no sign of anything building any for the time being. I don’t buy D-Von in the main event scene but he’s there now and that’s all there is to say. The main stories aren’t grabbing me right now and that’s a bad thing.

Results

Samoa Joe b. Robbie E – Koquina Clutch

ODB b. Tara – The Bam

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Kid Kash/Gunner – Cross body to Kash

Kurt Angle b. AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels – Angle Slam to Daniels

Sting b. D-Von via DQ when Aces and 8’s interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews