Bound For Glory 2007
Date: October 14, 2007
Location: Gwinnett Center, Duluth, Georgia
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

Well doing more BFG isn’t intentional but it’s better than no show. TNA shows are rather hard to find so this is all I’ve got at the moment. Again it’s the biggest show of the year and in this case the main event is Sting vs. Angle. Anyone else noticing a pattern of these shows? There’s a weak Monster’s Ball match and the rest looks completely unspectacular if there has ever been an unspectacular major show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is just a generic thing about being the next immortal icon and they use Hogan’s name. I give up. Angle is defending tonight if I forgot to mention that. I know I did but it sounds a bit better than I didn’t feel like typing it. I’m filling in space here if you didn’t get that.

Triple X vs. LAX

Senshi (Low Ki/Kaval) and Elix Skipper representing Triple X here. This is Ultimate X and for the #1 contender spot. Think that’s enough Xs in this match? XXX goes for the X almost immediately but LAX (see what I mean?) makes the save and it’s a big brawl to start. These matches are hard to call for the most part as they’re pretty all over the place. With just four guys though it’s far easier to do.

It’s so weird seeing Kaval out there over three years ago like this. Homicide gets a chance to make a run but Senshi makes the save. Both teams are pretty much just beating each other up here to wear them down (wouldn’t that cancel the beating up part?) so they can go up (I guess that gives up the advantage again) and pull the X down (are you getting my boredom here?)

Homicide gets his signature tope con hilo to take out Senshi. Hernandez goes up and JUMPS halfway across the cables and almost gets there that way. That guy is freaking scary. A lot of near grabs for both teams here but LAX is clearly the more dominant team here. Skipper goes all the way up to the top of the structure and hits a MASSIVE cross body to Homicide in the ring.

In a cool looking spot, Skipper and Homicide both do the look up at the ceiling crawl and hit a double neckbreaker to bring the other guy down. That was a new one. I’m not a fan of that overhead shot. Granted that might be the constant camera cuts that TNA is obsessed with. In a painful and STUPID looking spot, Homicide is put in the Tree of Woe as Senshi does the Warrior’s Way onto him.

If you’re Homicide, WHY WOULD YOU SIT UP? You know his finisher is the freaking double stomp so why would you give him the right positioning for it? Mike Tenay says we’re in the ATL. My head hurts again. Skipper stops Hernandez from diving over the ropes which would have been cool to see. Border Toss by Hernandez to send Skipper flying to the other two guys on the floor. Hernandez gets the X with ease just afterwards.

Rating: B-. Bunch of big spots in there which were nice and the match worked pretty well. Hernandez is shown off as the mega star of the team which makes sense as he’s by far the bigger deal. This was a pretty good match but as usual with these matches it would help to have them be for the titles rather than a shot at a later date at said titles. But Pacman Jones is a tag champion at this point so we can’t have that match. Such is TNA.

We see Angle and Karen getting here earlier separately and at different times. Nash gets here too.

Running down of the card wastes some time.

Christian cuts off Tomko and AJ to talk about not being in the Fight for the Right Tournament. He should be in it and due to Joe he isn’t. AJ is happy to be home. He’s an idiot here. Tomko is actually serious.

Fight For the Right Tournament Stage One: Reverse Battle Royal

Dang it. Ok so this one might just hold the record for most ridiculous TNA concept. This is the beginning of a HUGE #1 contenders tournament. The winner of this match is the #1 seed in said tournament, which he would wind up losing anyway, making this COMPLETELY POINTLESS.

Anyway there are 16 people in this and you start on the floor. The first eight to get into the ring make it to part two. When those eight are in there’s a battle royal. When there are two left in the ring, they have a one on one match and the winner is the #1 seed. The other seeds are determined in the order you were eliminated.

Somehow this is slightly less complicated than the previous year’s tournament where the winner of the battle royal advanced to the finals and 6 other guys had qualifying matches to set up a triple threat where the winner met the battle royal winner to get a title shot. And people wonder why this company is loathed by so many people.

ANYWAY, the 16 people are Jimmy Rave, Lance Hoyt (Vance Archer), Havok (Johnny Devine), Shark Boy, Petey Williams, Kaz, Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Sonjay Dutt, Kip James, BG James, James Storm, Eric Young, Robert Roode, Chris Harris and Junior Fatu (Rikishi, who was there like a week).

Fatu gets in first. This is so stupid. I know there are issues with getting ring time in this company but this is ridiculous. Kaz and Roode are in. Shelley is in fourth. Hoyt accidentally drops Young in and there’s Sabin. Hoyt goes in seventh and Storm just beats Harris in to give us the 8th guy. Let’s get this over with. Young puts Storm out seconds in, making him the #8 seed in the tournament. Naturally he would win his first round match as he had to do the least wrestling, making it easier on him. See what I mean by flaws in the system?

Young goes after Rikishi who was supposed to be a huge deal I guess. He chokeslams Roode and stacks up four people in the corner for the splash. Stinkface to Hoyt as this is boring. The Andre treatment takes care of him though. He would make the semi-finals of the tournament and then leave the company.

The Guns go nuts with an insane double submission on Roode and Young. They move Young’s legs so he has an Indian Deathlock on Roode before putting a crossface on Roode and an abdominal stretch on Young. It doesn’t accomplish anything but it looks awesome. Think of it as a Divas match.

Shelley is gone. Kaz hits his slingshot DDT on Sabin and then dumps him too. We’re down to Hoyt, Kaz, Roode and Young. Kaz is out as well. Hoyt like an idiot goes for a moonsault and gets thrown out because he’s a freaking idiot. The final two….ok make that three as Sabin is still in there I guess, are Sabin, Roode and Young. And scratch Sabin….who apparently is Sabin as they apparently misspoke earlier. I give up. Roode vs. Young is the final.

Roode is a power guy still here and isn’t in a tag team. The tournament sets up Sabin vs. Shelley which is of course good but means nothing compared to them in the X Title final years later. These two had been feuding and were stablemates years ago. And then Young rolls up Roode in a small package to end it. Young would lose to Storm in the first round and Kaz would beat Christian to win the tournament.

Rating: F+. This was perhaps the most overdone match in history. Seriously, is it that hard to have a battle royal to determine who the #1 contender is? Couldn’t they just have a tournament with a random draw? Apparently not as they decided to just combine them and throw in a one on one match too. This is what we mean by overbooking. You don’t have to do a big complicated thing when a simple thing would work fine and in this case much better. Stupid match and VERY stupid concept.

We recap AJ/Tomko vs. Team Pacman. In other words, a man that was banned from the NFL for being involved in a shooting that paralyzed a man is a tag team champion in TNA. To his credit he bought 1500 tickets to the show and gave them away as prizes to kids in Atlanta schools who got good grades and had good conduct.

Ron Killings, as in R-Truth, says that the NFL has stopped Pacman from wrestling so they have a replacement named Consequences Creed. Pacman talks like an idiot about going for a ride or something.

Karen and Kurt argue even more.

Tag Titles: Team Pacman vs. AJ Styles/Tomko

Keep in mind Team Pacman doesn’t actually have Pacman in this. Creed is the guy that dressed like Apollo Creed and is named for Truth and Consequences. AJ and Creed start us off here. Creed hits a forearm in the corner and that’s about all he’s got as far as interesting stuff goes. He’s cool to watch to a degree but at the end of the day he’s a guy dressed up like a fictional character with a stupid name.

Truth vs. Tomko now. Tomko is an IWGP tag champion at this point. Thanks for again informing us about things that have zero to do with TNA. Truth is doing the exact same stuff he does today in WWE. This is a rather boring match as it’s pretty clear that Pacman is losing here as he can’t wrestle so the appeal is gone. Granted that would imply it was there in the first place so take that for what it’s worth.

Everything breaks down and we get a big melee. AJ gets thrown into the corner and is down. Truth vs. Tomko at the moment. Pacman tries to get involved and is just annoying. Creed takes Tomko out but AJ hits a BIG shooting star to the floor and wipes out all the non whites in this thing. Pacman pulls out a bunch of money and throws it in the air so what when Truth gets a rollup Hebner picks up the money instead of counting. AJ and Tomko hit their double team finisher for the titles on Truth.

Rating: D. Just boring here with zero drama. Thankfully Pacman was gone after this as no one liked him and he made TNA look freaking stupid. This was just idiotic and such a waste of talent like AJ and even Truth just wasting him like this. Pacman was a waste of money and a total eye rolling moment who didn’t ever get to wrestle due to the NFL. At least this was the end of him for the most part.

Karen whines even more and says Angle keeps the title tonight because it’s the money. She goes up to Kevin who is hitting on some blonde. She tries to get Nash to talk to Kurt which doesn’t work. Oh and there’s the required Scott Hall reference.

We recap Daniels vs. Lethal where Lethal is defending. He’s Black Machismo here too.

X-Division Title: Jay Lethal vs. Christopher Daniels

Lethal won the title beating Angle who had all three titles including both tag belts and had three title matches at one PPV. You know, because he wanted to help the young guys. And now we talk about the Angles and Sting for later tonight. Nice slingshot rana by Lethal and a WEAK suicide dive hits Daniels on the floor. Their hands touched and that’s about it.

They’re having some weird issues with making contact with each other. They’re doing this very odd style here and not much is going on here. Lethal gets a crucifix for two. They’re just kind of doing moves out there with nothing special going on at all. Daniels can’t beat him and starts to snap which is an old standard for wrestling but it usually works and is here kind of.

Top rope rana by Daniels is shoved off. The big elbow misses too though and Daniels gets two off of the miss. They’re clearly almost at the end here and the fans think it’s awesome. No, it really isn’t. Lethal gets the Lethal Combination (backbreaker and Downward Spiral) off the top for the pin to retain. Cool ending to a weak match.

Rating: C-. This just didn’t do it for me at all. It was ok at best but it just came off as uneventful. I have never gotten the appeal of Daniels or his style whatsoever. They had this weird non chemistry going and it wasn’t working for me. Not a horrible match but at the same time it didn’t do much.

The Steiners talk about Team 3D. They’re actually doing this. Rick looks AWFUL.

The recap talks about how Scott got very sick and was literally on his deathbed in Puerto Rico but came back as a face. He can’t have a wrestling match so we get a 2/3 tables match.

Steiner Brothers vs. Team 3D

They point out that the Steiners now reside in Atlanta to HAMMER in the face push. Big brawl to start as you have to get two table put throughs out of three to win this. Well it’s better than a regular table match. I’m not sure how but it prevents winning on a fluke I guess. Rick thankfully is in a shirt as we get the Steiner pose. The Dudleys try to leave and that goes nowhere.

Beer to the face of D-Von as they’re in the crowd. Granted this isn’t so much a waste of time as you can go through a table anywhere. Big brawl in the stands where not a lot is going on as there are no tables in sight. Scott and Bubba are brawling as are the other pair. There’s the first table brought in but it’s not set up yet. We’re back around the ring now.

In the ring now and Rick goes through one on a 3D. Scott is on the floor and there aren’t any eliminations it seems which I like better. Scott fights out of a super bomb and hits a Frankensteiner where he does nothing and Bubba has to jump for the flip, hitting the back of his head on the edge, more or less breaking through the table with his neck. FREAKING OW MAN.

It’s tied up at one here as D-Von misses a splash. How was Steiner a world champion in WCW? I think you can count him as another example of a guy making money and getting as far as he did because WCW was in the place it was rather than his talent. Bubba whips Scott with a big leather belt as Rick has apparently disappeared.

Scott is put on a table and it just kind of collapses which doesn’t count as it’s not a guy being put through it which makes sense. Scott has his beard braided which looks stupid. The Dudleys put him on another table and go for his injured throat. The Guns run down for the save. D-Von misses a chair shot and the Steiner Bulldog ends it.

Rating: D+. Well they were trying out there but it didn’t work that well. The two old teams going at it were supposed to comprise a dream match but it didn’t work. Why should I want to see either of these teams rather than the Guns who had a run in here? It’s more old guys that aren’t worth much doing their thing. That’s rarely a good thing and this was no exception. Having the 2/3 thing was a nice little twist though and it helped it a good deal.

We talk to the new Knockouts who were brought in for the first Knockouts Title match. There were five total: ODB, Talia Madison, Shelly Martinez and Angel Williams. Angel later added ina to her first name and Talia changed her name to Velvet Skye. The girls run away as Kong is behind JB and makes a scary face.

We get a weak recap which more or less is just a slideshow of the girls in the match.

Knockouts Title: Gauntlet Match

This is a ten girl match where you have a regular gauntlet but it’s over the top until we get to the final two. Yep we’re having two battle royals. Kong debuted at Impact so she’s brand new here. We start with Ms. Brooks and Jackie. Good night WHY DOES SHE ALWAYS STAY AROUND? No one cares about her at all and she was always there. Quit shaking your chest because NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THEM.

Brooks gets a big boot to the side of the head of the annoying one but gets caught in a German suplex. Shelly Martinez is in third. Oh…these girls can’t do much. Kong comes in fourth and it’s on. Kong takes like 40 seconds to get to the ring out of a minute.

ODB comes in fifth as Jackie puts out Brooks but Kong just goes off, getting rid of Jackie (GO KONG!) and Martinez. Angelina Love (Angel Williams at this point) has the music, the looks and the stage pose already as she’s 6th. Christy comes in and is still amazing looking Kong beats the tar out of her with a rack where Christy’s feet almost hit her head. A Batista Bomb hits as Gail Kim is eighth.

Everyone gangs up on Kong as the medics take out Christy to eliminate her for the most part. The three in the ring get rid of Kong whose shirt flies up and Talia Madison (Velvet Skye) is ninth. Roxxi who is a voodoo chick with hair at this point is last. Love apparently went out off camera so we have four left: Roxxi, ODB, Gail and Velvet.

Gail puts out Velvet as we get a GREAT back shot of her. ODB is out also and we have our one on one match. Gail gets an insane looking submission hold on Roxxi which was like a sideways Octopus Hold. Gail looks sexy in those shorts to put it mildly. They really make her figure look good. Roxxi botches a jackknife pin for two. Gail hits Finlay’s Celtic Cross to end it and win the title.

Rating: C-. Again, is there a reason to mix things up like they did here that I’m just not getting? Why not have an actual tournament rather than this weird hybrid thing? It wasn’t bad I guess but at the same time this just didn’t work like they wanted it to. This could have been a lot better as a simple one on one match but this just didn’t do it for me like they wanted it to. Not horrible though.

Nash tries to talk to Angle who is just getting ready with about 45 minutes before the match starts. Great to see him preparing like that. Nash can’t get him to drop the match and he won’t have his back tonight. Again more old guys talking about stuff that doesn’t make sense.

We recap Joe vs. Christian which is about respect apparently. And naturally we have something thrown in there as Matt Morgan is the guest referee.

Christian Cage vs. Samoa Joe

Morgan is the bodyguard of Cornette so that’s why he’s here. Not sure if that makes sense but whatever. Christian is a heel here if you’re wondering and has never been pinned or tapped in the company. Joe gets the big Samoan entrance with the fire dancing as he had on occasion. Long feeling out process to start us off as Christian plays the cowardly heel perfectly.

Finally Joe gets his in the corner and gets a lot of Face Washes but misses the running boot. He hits what we would call the Rough Ryder off the middle rope for two. All Joe so far. Joe chops him on the back which is something you don’t often see. Christian appears to be out cold on the apron. Joe is like screw  it and hits a big old suicide dive to almost end Christian. ALL Joe for the first five minutes.

Morgan of course has had nothing to say so far. Joe kicks Christian into the barrier which more or less explodes as Christian FINALLY gets a counter to hit a DDT onto the floor and Joe is in trouble. He fights out of everything but still winds up on his back. Christian misses the splash and they slug it out. I think they’re going for the epic encounter here but it’s really not clicking like they want it to.

Morgan won’t let Christian leave so Joe again is like  forget this and hits the flying fat man spinning corkscrew plancha to crush Christian. THIS is the Joe that was the hottest thing in the world when Kurt showed up to challenge him. Clutch and Unprettier are both reversed and Joe gets a Buckle Bomb. Christian gets a powerbomb out of the corner with feet on the ropes for two. This is rapidly getting awesome.

Clutch is countered again and we head up to the corner. A headbutt sends Christian to the floor and Joe is down in the ring. And here’s Tomko because we have to overbook this. Tomko goes at it with Morgan so AJ can sneak down. He goes for the forearm but Morgan makes the save. Morgan chases both of them off with a chair but Christian gets a low blow and the Unprettier for two.

Christian hooks on the Clutch but it only gets two arm drops and here comes the fat man. Muscle Buster hits and there’s the Clutch from the master of it and Christian taps for his first clean loss in the company.

Rating: B+. I really liked this as it was a rather competitive match. Both guys were out there working hard and this looked like a match that belonged on the biggest show of the year. I really liked the lack of actual interference as it tends to taint a match like this. This came off very well and it came off like a major match should. Good match.

And now let’s make sure to forget about the two guys that just had the match of the night to talk about Nash and Sting more. Why is Nash getting like four segments here when he’s not even wrestling tonight? He talks to Sting whose son Angle pushed or something. Nash says Angle is all he has and that’s all he can do to get back to the spotlight as he’s too banged up. This is idiotic.

We have to have the Monster’s Ball recap now because it’s a tradition here. I’m REALLY not a fan of having this here now as it’s such a letdown after seeing a very good match like we just did. Don’t believe me that it’ll be weak? Look at the lineup.

Raven vs. Rhyno vs. Black Reign vs. Abyss

Yeah it’s just a bit hardcore match in between the two big wrestling matches. Don’t you love the way this company books things? It just sounds like a stupid match. We get going before Abyss is here and scratch that as he’s here now. Raven takes down Abyss and here come more of the weapons. Rhyno puts a trash can between Reign’s legs and hits it with a golf club.

This match really is taking me out of the show as all of a sudden the match comes off as uninteresting and totally unimportant. Granted it might feel like that because that’s the situation. Rhyno misses a Gore and goes through some kind of wall and Rhyno is in trouble. Raven is busted open and drops a big elbow off the balcony onto Abyss to put him through a table.

Basically it’s down to Reign and Abyss who is more or less dead. Ok scratch that as Raven is back. Shattered Dreams to Raven and they cut away from the impact. Abyss brings in the tacks/glass but Goldie blocks him. Rhyno is back in now as almost everyone is busted open. Gore to Reign but Raven knocks out everyone with weapon shots.

Raven busts out the bag of stuff and here’s James Mitchell to yell at Raven. There are the glass and the tacks and of course since Raven laid them out he winds up going into them, this time through the means of the Black Hole Slam. And now the match is over. I still don’t care at all.

Rating: D. It came, it happened, you know what to expect here, Abyss gains nothing and the other three still mean nothing. Take us to the main event to get me back into this show now.

We talk about how both have history in Atlanta. Sting it’s more from a company based in Atlanta but whatever. This is nothing special but it gives a theme to stuff though. No mention of the son though.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Kurt Angle

I guess Nash couldn’t make it to the match. What do you mean he was never in this? He’s gotten more camera time than anyone else tonight so how can he not be in the match? Angle is defending remember. Not that it means anything for the most part but figured it needed to be pointed out. Bit match intros are still fun no matter how many times we’ve heard them.

Big heat on Angle so he’s got that going for him at least. They feel each other out to start. One time they need to feel each other up to start just for a change of pace. They trade arm work and Sting keeps offering clean breaks. Sting outwrestles him a bit and Angle hits the floor to clear his head. His hip might be a bit hurt. Lot of feeling out process here so far with no one really getting an advantage at all.

They hit the floor and Angle’s bald head hits the table. Angle’s shoulder hits the post but he manages to get a German to get out of the Death Drop. Another belly to belly puts Sting down. Double clothesline puts both guys down though and we wait for Nash. Sting wins a striking contest as they crank it up again. Sting hits a spinebuster (???) for two.

A pair of splashes hit and a bulldog puts Angle down. Sting, ever the idiot, doesn’t go for a finisher but rather goes up top against Kurt Angle. After he comes crashing down Angle gets the Slam countered and we hit the Rolling Germans for two. Ankle lock goes on but Sting gets a Bret Hart caliber counter to hook the Scorpion. That was AWESOME looking.

And here’s Karen to screw things up because we have to have more people in the main event than usual. Nash comes in and lays out Sting as Karen is taken out. Angle Slam hits for two as the Nash/Karen thing proves to be relatively pointless. A top rope Sting splash misses as Angle gets the knees up for two.

Kurt goes up and busts out a 450! He completely misses Sting as in his toes didn’t even hit Sting but who cares about that as it looked COOL! Ankle Lock goes on but Sting rolls him into Nash. And down goes the referee as Sting hits the Death Drop. Why do they have to overbook it???

Another referee comes out and Nash breaks it up again. Blast it go away! He comes in and beats up Sting so Sting beats up both of those two. Angle gets the bat but Sting hits him with it instead and crotches Nash. Death Drop FINALLY ends this. And then he lost the title back to Angle TWO DAYS later and Angle held it until April when Joe won it. Yep that’s TNA for you.

Rating: C+. This was good but definitely not great. The Nash and Karen stuff was just a waste of time. What did Nash add to this match at all? The overbooking hurt what was otherwise a good match. Sting winning to end Angle’s very long reign was the right choice, although having him lose it the Impact after the followup show was stupid. Although then again this is TNA. Decent match though but not great at all.

Overall Rating: D+. Well it’s not horrible. That’s about as high as I can give it though as there were parts on here that were just bad. The biggest issue I have here: there were FIVE gimmick matches out of nine total and you could argue that Joe vs. Christian was one as well given the enforcer. That’s just WAY too high and is bordering on a WWE gimmick PPV. There were good moments here but they’re outweighed by the bad which drags this down. Not the worst show ever but not a great one at all.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Bound For Glory 2010
Date: October 10, 2010
Location: Ocean Center, Daytona Beach, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

So here it is. This is the show that they have spent MONTHS building to. This is their Wrestlemania and by far their biggest show of the year. We get a new champion tonight and find out who THEY are. Even I’m excited and I’ve made no secret that I’m a big critic of this company. Tonight is the final match for Abyss apparently which I don’t buy at all. Let’s get to it.

Main event is no time limit, no count out and no DQ. That makes me nervous.

There’s and entrance ramp as well as three video screens. The production values are rather solid here, especially by TNA standards.

Tag Titles: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Generation Me

Good choice for an opener. Shelley and Max (does it matter?) start us off. Naturally it’s insanely fast paced to start us off. The Guns get all tricky and destroy Max in the corner. A big elbow Poetry in Motion move gets two on Max. The heels are getting dominated here for the most part as we hear a lot about Shelley’s neck.

Double DDT out of the corner to Shelly and he’s in big trouble. Shelley keeps fighting and manages to get out with a big double stomp off the top. Hot tag to Sabin as this isn’t bad at all so far. The Guns and everything else go completely insane and Sabin hits Punk’s springboard clothesline to Jeremy for a close two. Tenay is right that no one has tag wrestling like this.

The Guns are just straight up fun to watch. I’m not sold on making this the opener though as this is something that probably should have been used to fire up the crowd in case they get bored later on. Max gets two and is legit shocked that Sabin kicked out. They go for the DDT again but Shelley makes the save.

Elevated Sliced Bread is blocked and Jeremy takes out Sabin with a big dive. A Piledriver like move is broken up by Sabin at two. Very fast paced match naturally. This is too fast to call. We actually get a tag. Are you kidding me? They set for More Bang For Your Buck but a nice counter sets up a running German off the top by Sabin. Skull and Bones on Max ends this.

Rating: B. Very fast paced and fun match. Do I need to explain this one again? It’s an insanely fast paced tag match to open up a show. That’s PPV 101 but I worry that this might be the high point of the show. We get the awesome Motor City music twice though and the Guns keeping the belts is a good thing so I’m happy.

Tara and Madison go nuts on Christy about hair dye or something. Tara is grateful to Madison for life apparently.

We recap the Knockouts Title situation which I think you all know by now. It’s all about the Beautiful People and that’s about it. This again becomes all about them and nothing else. Keep in mind Mickie James is the referee here.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Skye vs. Tara

Dang Mickie looks good. I could go without the hardcore country thing though. One fall to a finish here and tags are required. Angelina vs. Madison to start us off. Off to the regular Beautiful People now which is the only match left in that division I suppose. Madison comes in and gets in Mickie’s face but that goes nowhere.

This is another match that is going too fast to really keep track of. Tara vs. Velvet at the moment. How in the world did Hefner think Tara didn’t look good enough for Playboy? Octopus Hold from Velvet to Tara which blows my mind a million ways to Monday. The tagging thing is of course abandoned soon.

Widow’s Peak doesn’t go on as Angelina makes a save. And then she rolls up Velvet with some tights being pulled to give her the title. We get the BROKEN song so I’m very happy. Madison goes off on her and Mickie takes her out. So it’s Tara vs. Mickie now? Ok then.

Rating: D+. Pretty much just a mess here and only a way to get the title on the show. This wasn’t much at all but you had five hot women and you get to add Mickie to the division now which is definitely not a bad thing at all as it was dying for some fresh blood. Nothing very good here but I’ve seen worse.

Eric Young babbles about some code. Yeah I don’t care either.

We recap the “feud”. Yeah I don’t care either. Let’s get this over with.

Eric Young/Orlando Jordan vs. Ink Inc

Eric has the TNA rule book while Orlando is in a white suit with a beekeeper mask. And now Eric has fake tattoos or something. I give up. Jordan and Neal start us off because someone has to. Let the gay jokes begin.

Taz recommends that Shannon avoid the crotch of Orlando. I give up. Total meh match here as it was boring on Impact and it’s boring here. This is really just an outlet for Taz to make gay jokes about Orlando which aren’t incredibly funny. Eric gets crotched on the top rope.

Orlando vs. Shannon at the moment. Eric is fooling with the rule book because it’s been a few seconds without “comedy.” We talk about the German broadcast team for no apparent reason. Eric starts cheating by pretending to tag in and Taz is just like “screw it’. Eric tags himself in to fight Orlando. We get a Midnight Rocker reference which makes Taz laugh. Eric causes Orlando to get caught by Shannon for the pin.

Rating: D. Just move on please. I hate comedy matches, especially when they lack comedy.

Jeff says he’s going to win with the Twist of Fate and Swanton Bomb.

X–Division Title: Douglas Williams vs. Jay Lethal

This is the return match apparently from Impact a few weeks ago when Lethal won it in the first place. Non-British tights for Williams here. What would the Bulldog think? Fast paced start until Williams gets a hold on Lethal to take over. And so much for that. Tenay talks about the new tights because that’s interesting I guess?

Apparently his family crest is on it. No mention of Fourtune here which is kind of odd. Williams takes it to the mat and we stay there for awhile. Williams is getting back into the style of hating the X Division style that worked so well for him in the spring and early summer.

Lethal cranks up the speed to make things work a bit better. Taz likes suplexes and you can hear it in his voice. It changes when Williams uses a few of them. He even throws in some analysis of them for fun. Hey he sounds like an analyst. I thought this was 10/10 not 10/31.

Chaos Theory out of nowhere gets two. Dang I love that move. Williams gets all ticked off and takes him up top and sets for a rana. Lethal gets a SWEET counter where he rolls through it perfectly into a sunset flip for the pin to retain. He celebrates in the crowd which is always a nice touch.

Rating: C+. Nothing special here but the ending was rather good. This felt like a decent Impact match but it was totally tacked on here with no particular rhyme or reason. Blast I need to stop listening to Shinedown. This wasn’t bad but it was just kind of thrown on there to get the match on the card.

And while he’s in the crowd SHORE attacks him. Like the idiot that he is, he says he’s winning the title and taking it back to Jersey. You know, where Lethal is from.

We recap RVD vs. Abyss which is a bit early on the card I’d think for it. I can’t imagine this is where THEY are revealed. That’s just way too early for it I’d think but who knows? The idea here is RVD isn’t at 100% but he wants revenge no matter what.

Rob Van Dam vs. Abyss

Monster’s Ball here which means anything goes. And remember this is his last match EVER! He brings Janice and Bob, which are the names of Dixie Carter’s parents in what I’d assume is a rib, and puts them on the announce table. Abyss says RVD is done and THEY are coming. And remember this is once a century. You know, like EVERY OTHER DATE.

RVD of course kicks the heck out of him to start to a HUGE RVD chant. Van Dam is in a t-shirt here for some reason. There’s a barbed wire table at ringside. Total dominance so far by Van Dam who is on fire. He gets taken down by an elbow of all things. Given the shirt I’d bet on RVD going into barbed wire.

Chokeslam is countered and of course Abyss eats barbed wire. This would be more effective if we hadn’t seen it just three days ago with bigger stars. And of course he’s up again just a few seconds later, dodging a splash that send RVD into the wire. Abyss busts out a regular table as we talk about THEY.

Trash can to the head of Van Dam as Abyss tries to make a barbed wire platform between the railing and the ring. Oh never mind it’s just a regular table. Abyss winds up on it and RVD hits Rolling Thunder onto it. Cool spot. Too many dead spots here though as we hit a spot and then stop to look for more stuff to use in the next one.

RVD sets up Coast to Coast but gets shoved off and RVD winds up in barbed wire. Sick looking bump. The match more or less stops as the referee is thinking about stopping it. Instead we throw him back into the ring and Abyss gets…nothing. Ok then. Instead we get the Hogan ear taunt.

Van Dam comes back and sends him into the barbed wire board in the corner. Now it’s Abyss in trouble. RVD goes for the Five Star but Abyss moves and RVD has a tummy ache. And now It’s time for Janice. Well of course it is. RVD counters though and gets a pair of shots with Janice to the gut of Abyss and the Five Star. Abyss is bleeding from the mouth.

Rating: B-. Fun hardcore match with everyone beating the tar out of each other. Ok so maybe saying everyone for two people is a stretch but you get the concept. This worked fine for what it was with lots of weapons being used and all that jazz. They’re dragging this angle out for all it’s worth and more though so points for that….I think. Fun match.

Abyss says here WE come. Oh great.

We recap the handicap match with the whole Deception thing. This is the other major angle and Hogan is VERY hurt keep in mind. Yeah I don’t buy it either.

Jeff Jarrett/Samoa Joe vs. D’Angelo Dinero/Kevin Nash/Sting

Joe vs. Pope start us off. Oh and Joe is fighting for Hulk’s honor despite having zero connection to him. Nothing special so far and we hit the floor. It more or less has broken down with Jarrett fighting Pope and the old guys vs. Joe. And so much for that as we get back to Nash vs. Joe.

The entrance ramp really does look good. Pretty basic match so far. Joe gets beaten on for a good while but FINALLY gets a shot in on Nash to get away. He goes for the tag and there goes Jarrett for your swerve. Nash says I told you and Joe is in trouble. Now it really is 3-1. Jackknife to Joe ends it.

Rating: D+. Just the match that no one cared about to build to the swerve. Pay no attention to the fact that we’ve been building up Sting vs. Jeff for months and now it’s all cool. I’ll allow him an explanation but dude, this was supposed to be the explanation, not more questions. Whatever man.

Anderson says he’ll win.

Here’s 3D for their major announcement. Yep they’re retiring, but they want one more match, and of course they want the Guns. They’re retiring either way. Nice. This is solid I think and it’s good that they’ll retire this way.

We recap Fourtune vs. EV 2.0. If there is ANY justice in the world, EV loses here. Naturally it’s more about Flair vs. Foley than anyone else.

Fourtune says exactly what you would expect them to say. Regular vest for AJ thank goodness.

Fourtune vs. EV 2.0

This is a one ring WarGames match. A man from each team starts and after a set amount of time (5 minutes I think) there’s a coin toss and another guy comes in from the winning team. That goes on for two minutes then a guy from the losing team comes in. Two more minutes of that and then the winning team gets the advantage again. Alternate until all 8 are in and then we lower the roof, complete with weapons. No pins or submissions until everyone is in.

EV has Dreamer, Sabu, Rhyno, Richards and Raven. Yeah ten people in there great. Foley is with them. Flair brings out AJ, Storm, Roode, Kaz and Morgan. Fourtune has the advantage so screw the coin flip idea. Flair is in an undershirt. Oh dear.

The old guys go at it before the match starts and we try to figure out who starts the match. Kaz and Richards to start. Again Taz wants to say ECW and can’t do it. Kaz beats the tar out of him to start. And he continues doing so. Well that’s what you get for sending in Richards as your leadoff man.

Stevie gets a Downward Spiral into a modified Koji Clutch but AJ comes in seconds later to make it 2-1. Richards is of course in WAY over his head and gets destroyed. Figure four on Richards and he’s almost dead. Dreamer is in next. How in the world is this guy feuding with AJ Styles?

Dreamer spits mist or something at AJ as Richards gets back into it. All of Fourtune is in blue which is a cool idea I guess. Roode goes in third as this is going to take awhile to just get everyone in. Flair punches Dreamer through the camera hole. I love that thing as it gives you far better shots.

Sabu comes in and hooks a seated crossface chickenwing on AJ which we’ll call a camel clutch for fun I guess. This is REALLY slow now with EV controlling. Dreamer is bleeding fairly badly. Storm is in so it’ll be Morgan and Raven or Rhyno in last. Storm turns the tide and we get BEER MONEY!

With nothing left in the other minute here’s Raven who looks stupid with blonde hair. He cleans some house and shoves a snot rag in someone’s face. Ah ok it was Roode. Dreamer gets his crotch stepped on for fun. Dude seriously, Raven is your hot tag in essence? Roode is busted open.

Sabu is busted too. Morgan comes in as the final member of Fourtune. He drills Richards and drills Sabu back first into the cage. Dreamer takes the elbows in the corner as the advantage does the same thing it’s done the whole time so far. Raven is bleeding too so every member of EV who is in the match is busted.

Big Gore to Storm and here comes the roof. This is where the advantage is supposed to come for EV I guess. Flair and Foley get into it of course as is their custom. EV takes over and there are bigger weapons on top of the cage such as a table, a ladder and something else that I can’t make out.

Raven and Morgan beat the heck out of each other as EV is mostly in control. Morgan goes for the Carbon Footprint and misses, hitting the door which doesn’t move at all. Kaz gets drilled into the door and there it goes. Richards and Kaz go up and we set up the ladder up there. This always scared the living heck out of me.

Sabu dives through the door to take out Morgan and maybe Storm. Richards sets up the table on top of the cage and Kaz goes up the ladder and here’s Kendrick on top of the cage too. Kaz goes through the table and Kendrick appears to be meditating or something. In the ring Dreamer drills AJ in the leg and drops him on a chair, winning the match. Yes, EV won the match and everything seems to be fine with it. WELL OF COURSE THEY ARE.

Rating: D+. Not much here as there were a lot of very slow spots. Also the Kendrick thing just did nothing for it. The weapons were ok but the ending felt kind of tacked on. This never got to the level that they wanted it to get to and that hurt it a lot. This was one of the weaker matches they’ve done with this gimmick and I think a lot of that is due to the participants.

Oh yeah. DID I MENTION EV 2.0 JUST FREAKING BEAT FOURTUNE and that TOMMY DREAMER PINNED AJ FREAKING STYLES??? And people wonder why this company can’t be taken seriously.

Music video about the main event.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy has new music. Nothing all that special as again you can barely understand it. He’s called challenger #1. Who exactly is he challenging if no one has the title? Anderson is in gray tights which is odd. It’s 10:33 and we’re just starting. Think they’re cutting this close? No big match intros either which is weird also.

Angle is knocked to the floor and Anderson gets a neckbreaker on Hardy for two. Angle pops in and goes for Anderson’s knee. Big old belly to belly as it’s all Angle here. Then Hardy saves and it’s all Hardy. Little theme going on there. Angle Germans Hardy who Germans Anderson to take both of them over in a cool spot.

It gets two on Hardy as we keep going. 10:37 and no sign of THEY which scares the daylights

out of me. Hardy sends Angle up and over and might be hurt. I don’t buy it but whatever. Hardy goes over the top in a dive to take out everyone. Back in and Angle is ok, hooking a chinlock on Hardy after a cover gets two.

Running German to Hardy and he’s up seconds later. Ok then. Hey we went a full two hours and 40 minutes before we got a shot of Dixie. Angle is busted open a bit. Angle busts out some Germans on Anderson as Hardy is down. Hardy gets some of the same. Ankle Lock on the face painted one.

Anderson tries to save and winds up in the ankle lock. Angle locks the ankle lock on BOTH of them at once. That looks awesome. Naturally it doesn’t work but it looked cool while it was on. Anderson gets that rolling fireman’s carry slam from the middle rope on Angle so that Hardy can cover both for two.

10:45 now as this has somehow been going 12 minutes. Angle Slam gets two on Hardy. Top rope Angle Slam on Anderson but Hardy gets the cover for two. The fans think this is awesome and it’s not bad. Twist of Fate to Anderson and the Swanton hits. Angle saves into the ankle lock and Hardy is in trouble.

Jeff kicks off and sends Angle into a Mic Check for a VERY close two. Pinfall reversal sequence gets a lot of two counts. Angle is the only one left and hits the moonsault on Hardy for two again as Anderson is still down. Angle and Anderson go at it and block each others’ finishers.

And there goes the referee. Oh dang it. Everyone is down and here comes Eric with a chair. And here it comes. This is what TNA has spent the last 4 months building to. And what a shock: HULK IS HERE! Or at least his music is here. Yep there he is but on crutches. He needs help getting into the ring which I don’t buy.

Hulk looks ticked at Eric who throws the chair out and wipes his hands. Hardy stumbles to his feet on the floor and gets in. Both Bischoff and Hogan have crutches and Hogan gives Jeff his. Angle is up. Hardy pops Angle with the crutch and Hogan points at Jeff. Yes, it appears that Jeff Hardy, the most popular star in the world, is part of They. Twist of Fate to Anderson, and Hardy is world champion.

Rating: B. Ending aside obviously, this was a solid main event. It felt like a big match, but then again I would prefer a singles match for the title. That’s the traditionalist in me talking but if there is a match to end the biggest show of the year, only on very special occasions (this isn’t one of them) should it not be one on one for the world title.

Here comes Jeff Jarrett and Abyss. The fans throw trash in for no apparent reason. Hogan and Abyss hug, and THEY are revealed. Yes, it was Hogan and Bischoff with Hardy all along. RVD comes down and yells at Jeff and is of course laid out. Massive posing ends the show.

OverallRating: B-. This one took me a very long time to reach as it’s now almost 330 Monday afternoon as I write this. This show, without a doubt, was not boring. The ending was a legit shock and I think lived up to most of the hype, but we’ll get to that later.

As for the rest of the card, there are two important things here. Number one, Lethal vs. Williams was the only standard one on one match. Number two, expect to see a lot less wrestling in the near future. Nothing was incredibly bad, but not a lot really stood out.

What I saw in this card was a great example of an old school WCW card: the opening stuff was great, then the stars come on and things go downhill a bit. For instance, Fourtune loses? Why? I understand the whole heels win at the end so faces have to win something, but dude, Tommy Dreamer beat AJ Styles at the biggest show of the year in 2010. The theory may work fine but when you put it into action that doesn’t mean it works.

And now for the big reason this show has perplexed me so: the main event. The match itself was rather good and considering my disdain for triple threats that’s saying a lot. As for the angle, the best thing I can say about it is that it was shocking. I didn’t see Hardy turning. Hogan and Bischoff I did and I have the LD posts to prove it.

The common issue with the turn is that it makes no sense. It does make sense to a degree but it’s one of those things that you have to suspend a lot of disbelief, think about a lot of things, ignore a lot of things and just accept parts of. That’s rarely good and I don’t think it’s good here.

The big comparison has been to Vince and Austin at Mania 17. Not really as in that it was simple as JR put it: “Steve Austin has sold his soul to the devil himself to win the WWF Title!” There. That’s it. That’s your explanation. There is no conspiracy, there is no hidden meaning, there is nothing but Austin saying he’s not good enough to beat Rock on his own and is taking the shortcut to get what he wants.

This is a huge conspiracy that is going to require a lot of explanation and in which something is going to get fouled up. I’ve said this many times: I don’t want to have to have a pencil and paper and a flow chart to understand an angle. TNA should not be more complicated than Lost.

Now after all that is said, the show was still good I thought. The ending was good. The shock was good. Impact is going to be through the roof for a few weeks. That being said, the real ratings are going to show through in a few weeks. They’ll be most interesting. I was VERY intrigued last night and while I think it came off as a letdown, the PPV has to be viewed as a success, despite Hogan managing to be the focus of the end of ANOTHER major show and angle.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 24, 2001
Location: Miami Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s Christmas Eve so of course we’re not live. We have a few weeks before HHH gets back so until thing we’re kind of in a holding pattern. Jericho is champion but given that they don’t even have an Undisputed Title belt for him, how serious can we take his reign so far? The show is in a bad stretch and it’s really only going to get worse in the next few years. Let’s get to it.

In case you didn’t see the link at the end of the last review, here’s the December 17, 2001 show which I had done already:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/12/27/monday-night-raw-december-17-2011-nuns-groceries-and-bingo/

We’ve got an eggnog match later so you can tell things aren’t that serious.

Then again we have Jericho vs. Rock for the title later so maybe things won’t be that bad.

Here’s the hometown hero in his old Miami jersey to open the show. It’s Rock if that wasn’t clear. Rock says he’s come back home and talks about the main event tonight against Jericho. Oh and the Hurricanes will win the Rose Bowl. I believe they did that actually. He asks for his book and is handed The Rock’s Night Before Christmas. The book is exactly what you would expect with the focus being on Rock vs. Jericho.

Before he can finish though, here’s Angle, thankfully with the classic version of his music instead of that bad remix. Angle accuses Santa of being a pervert for seeing you when you’re sleeping. He thinks Vince is better than Mr. Claus because Vince has made the main event tonight a triple threat match. Rock doesn’t really care. Somehow this segment took almost 12 minutes.

Vince is having a Christmas party with Patterson and Brisco as elves. Bubba is Santa which means Stacy as a sexy Mrs. Claus. Booker and the Big Bossman show up so it’s time to bust out the strippers. Booker officially has a contract now. Vince’s music is playing as this goes on.

Rikishi vs. Test

Rikishi pounds him down into the corner but Test avoids a charge and beats on Rikishi. A DDT puts Rikishi down for two and Test shoves the referee. The referee punches Test and it’s a DQ win for Rikishi. This was nothing.

Test pounds on the referee but Rikishi makes the save.

Trish, looking GREAT, shows up at Flair’s Christmas party. Torrie is Mrs. Claus and I think Tajiri is Santa. Big Show struts like Flair and Tajiri gives Torrie some very small lingerie. Albert and Edge try to make Kane laugh and Big Show does his Hogan impression which is still pretty good. Debra brings in cookies and says Austin is on the way. Well it’s not like anyone was watching this episode anyway.

Billy and Chuck give each other matching headbands. Taz talks to Bubba because Bubba has a good looking girl on his lap and that’s not Santa-like. Bubba: “You’re just mad because all my elves are taller than you.” That was a good line. Fink shows up and brings in Mae and Moolah as the new dancers.

Billy and Chuck vs. APA

Billy and Chuck aren’t quite gay yet but they’re inching towards it. The APA looks at each other and pound on Billy and Chuck from behind. Billy and Chuck double team Farrooq before Chuck gets some alone time with him. Chuck gets laid…..out by a DDT and it’s off to Bradshaw and Billy. It’s finishers a go-go and Chuck trips Bradshaw so Billy gets to be on top for the quick pin. That’s good as I was running out of sex jokes.

RVD is ticked off and looking for someone. After a break he goes into Jericho’s room but finds Lance Storm. I guess he got a job on Smackdown. They get in an argument and a match is made.

Show and Albert are in Kane masks talking to the Big Red Machine when Arn Anderson shows up with beer. Austin shows up too with even more beer. We get a live WHAT rendition as Austin reads off a Christmas list while sitting on Tajiri’s lap.

Rob Van Dam vs. Lance Storm

It’s the Barely Legal rematch that no one was asking for. They brawl to start with both guys flying around and hitting kicks to the face for two. Not that it matters as we’re in a chinlock 45 seconds in. Van Dam kicks him down and hits the cartwheel moonsault for two. A superkick gets two for Storm but Van Dam backflips out of a belly to back superplex. Another kick sets up the Five Star for the pin. Another short match.

Test hits on Terri at Vince’s party. That goes nowhere so Paisley interviews Maven about Tough Enough 2. This goes nowhere until Booker yells at Maven, setting up a match later. Is it clear that it’s Christmas Eve and they’re not even trying? Mae is drunk.

Stacy Keibler vs. Torrie Wilson

It’s an eggnog match between the Mrs. Clauses. What are you expecting here? They fight by the pool of eggnog, they go in it, they do some “wrestling” and the referee falls in as well. Torrie wins in like two minutes.

Back to Vince’s party and Jericho shows up to complain about being put in a triple threat. Vince tries to soothe him but Stephanie returns, a mere FIVE WEEKS after being thrown out. She has a gift for Vince, which is a monogrammed money clip. Vince doesn’t seem to care and throws her out. She would be back full time in about three weeks.

European Title: Christian vs. The Hurricane

Christian is defending and takes a shot at the Miami Hurricanes which is appropriate in more ways than one. Christian charges at him to start and is immediately clotheslined to the floor. Hurricane hits a big dive to the floor as JR suggests Pat Patterson is a fairy and not an elf. Back in and Christian kicks Hurricane low to take over.

The fans chant the Hurricanes’ (the football team, not the masked dude) fight song as Christian knees Hurricane in the ribs for two. Hurricane hits a quick crossbody but can’t get much more after that. Molly offers a distraction and Hurricane comes back, hitting a Blockbuster for two. Christian throws him to the floor but ducks an attack from Hurricane which takes out Molly. Christian throws him back inside and hits the Unprettier to retain.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but when this is the first match that broke three minutes after over an hour of the show, it’s kind of hard to get into it. Also the ending here was really abrupt with Christian just hitting his finisher out of nowhere for the pin. The title meant nothing at this point and was ready to be retired, which wouldn’t come for almost a year.

Taz switches parties and causes a match to be made between Bubba and Tajiri for later. Austin plays the guitar for some entertainment.

Booker T vs. Maven

Booker has Bossman as a bodyguard in an angle I don’t remember at all. Maven is brand new here still so this isn’t going to be much in the ways of competition. Maven fires off some forearms to start followed by a few dropkicks, which was really the only move he could do well. Booker shrugs that off and kicks Maven down to take over. A superkick puts Maven down and there’s the Spinarooni. An Alabama Slam gets the pin for Booker. Total squash after the first 20 seconds.

Bubba Claus vs. Tajiri Claus

Oh….why not. Tajiri knocks him to the floor and hits an Asai Moonsault. The visuals here are pretty funny and JR says this would be a main event at any arena in the North Pole. I can live with nods to Monsoon. Back in the ring the Bubba Bomb takes Tajiri down and a low blow slows him down even more. The fans of course want tables but they have to settle for a splash/elbow drop from Bubba instead.

Tajiri has lost his hat and Bubba takes his own belt off to whip Tajiri a bit. Bubba misses the middle rope splash as is his custom, which likely had to do with him doing the stereotypical Japanese bow before jumping. The look on Bubba’s face is pretty great. A low dropkick gets two and Tajiri fires off some kicks to take over. He goes up but D-Von crotches him, letting Bubba hit a superplex for no cover. The Dudleys set up What’s Up but Taz runs out and crotches D-Von. The distraction lets Tajiri hit the Mist and the Buzzsaw Kick for the pin.

Rating: C. If you were looking for a serious match here, what is wrong with you? This was a fun match and I’m a Tajiri fan so I was digging this no matter what happened in it. On top of that, Bubba’s facials are are always great. Fun match here which is something this dull show needed badly.

Angle says he’ll strip Jericho of the title tonight. Mae Young: “DID SOMEONE SAYS STRIP???” You can figure the rest out for yourself.

We recap the Undertaker vs. the Hardys feud as the team is back together again after fighting for weeks.

Apparently Mae Young has stopped Vince’s party cold and she takes her pants off on stage. Austin comes in and beats up Vince and the Stooges. Patterson winds up looking up between Mae’s legs.

WWF World Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kurt Angle vs. The Rock

It’s a brawl to start with the heels double teaming Rock in the corner. Rock gets in a shot on Angle and avoids a save from Jericho. Angle suplexes Rock down and we head to the floor where the heels take turns ramming Rock into the table. Rock will have none of that and rams them into the table, only to get dropped onto the table chest first. A charging Angle is sent into the steps and Jericho is clotheslined down as Rock takes over again.

Back inside a spinwheel kick gets two for the champ but the Lionsault hits knees. Angle comes back in and pounds away on Rock, who backdrops Jericho to the floor. A Samoan Drop puts Angle down for two but Jericho makes the save. Rock hits a double clothesline to put both guys down but he can’t follow up. The Great One gets up first and punches both guys time after time to fire up the crowd.

Angle finally gets in a shot to the back but Rock whips Kurt into Jericho on the apron. Rock drops a leg on Angle and puts on the Scorpion. Jericho tries to make a save but walks into the spinebuster and the Elbow for two. Angle puts the ankle lock on Rock but Jericho dropkicks Kurt to break it up, starting a fight between the two. The American hits a German on the Canadian but Jericho rolls through into the Walls.

Angle escapes and puts on the ankle lock, only to have Rock take his head off. Jericho’s forearm hits the referee and Rock puts the champ in the Walls, making him tap to no referee. The hold is released and Angle clocks Jericho with a chair by mistake. Rock Bottom takes Angle down but there’s STILL no referee. Angle DDT’s Rock on the chair but Jericho steals the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. This was a good match but the problem with it is that there was no way the title was changing tonight. This would have torn the roof off the place at a house show and the live crowd was probably getting into things, but at the end of the day there was no chance Rock was winning the title here and I think most of the people knew it.

Overall Rating: D. Nothing to see here other than a main event which is just above average at best. Other than that, this is a throwaway show if there ever has been one. Then again, it’s Christmas Eve so it’s not like anyone was watching. I don’t think I watched this one live which says a lot for me. Nothing to see here and next week is a Best of 2001 show which won’t offer much, meaning this is pretty much the end of the year.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 20, 2000
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Something you’ll often hear me criticize is a company giving us a match that was on PPV a few days or weeks earlier away on free TV. This show is the opposite of that case, as we’re less than two weeks from Wrestlemania 2000 and the main event of tonight’s show is going to be the scheduled main event for the biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.

This was a request from a colleague of mine named Adam King. Check out his site at http://kingsrecaps.wordpress.com/. He has some very good Raw, Smackdown and Nitro reviews that are worth checking out.

We open in the back with Vince and the Stooges. Cole comes up to ask about rumors of a big announcement, but Brisco talks of a tag team elimination tournament tonight. There are going to be tag matches all night with the winners facing off in a battle royal. The winners are #1 contenders. Vince has another major announcement for later though. Since there were WWF guys on Saturday Night Live two days earlier, LIVE from Chicago, it’s Monday Night Raw!

X-Pac/Road Dogg vs. Hardy Boys

I miss the King of Rock theme they used to have. Apparently this is the debut of that song. This is part of the aforementioned elimination series, the first of four matches in the series. Pac and Matt start things off and Matt gets his head kicked off very quickly. Matt comes back with a powerslam and back elbow before the tag is made to Roadie and Jeff. Jeff sends Road Dogg to the floor and hits a modified baseball slide which gets two back in the ring.

Roadie makes a brief comeback but Jeff knocks both members of DX down with ease. It’s back to Matt but he walks into a spinwheel kick from Pac again. Off to Road Dogg again but a DDT lets Matt tag Jeff again. Poetry in Motion hits Road Dogg and Pac is sent to the floor. And here’s Kane who wants to kill X-Pac at the moment. Tori, the chick that left Kane to be with X-Pac, tries to save. In the commotion, it’s Twist/Swanton to Road Dogg for the pin to send the Hardys to the battle royal.

Rating: C. Good choice for an opener here as the Hardys were fast paced and awesome at this point and DX was able to keep up with them. The Kane stuff had been going on for a long time and would finally be blown off at Mania. It’s amazing how much more developed the tag division is at this point than it is in modern times. There are enough teams for an eight team series to face the champions. Think about that.

Tori gets chokeslammed post match.

HHH and Stephanie are here with something to say. Speaking of good music, My Time was another awesome song from this era. HHH demands respect before he’ll get to the point. He says he’ll beat Big Show and Rock at Mania, but tonight Vince says he has a match that will rock the foundation of the company. “If it’s that big, I have to be in it.” HHH was awesome in 2000. He calls Vince out to announce the match but he gets Big Show and Shane instead.

Shane says that the big announcement must be HHH vs. Big Show one on one for the title. HHH says no because he doesn’t have to defend the title until Wrestlemania. The champ says he’d do it but Big Show doesn’t deserve it. This brings out Vince who announces that tonight it’s HHH vs. Big Show vs. Rock for the title, meaning the Wrestlemania main event is happening tonight. Apparently HHH has to say yes so Vince goads him into it, but only if this match never takes place again, meaning no rematch at Wrestlemania. Vince says kiss the title goodbye.

Rock is just getting here.

Godfather vs. Big Boss Man

Good night Godfather is over like free beer in a frat house. Boss Man and Buchanan charge the ring and both guys beat down Godfather. No match.

DX wants to know what in the world HHH is thinking. His response is making Rikishi vs. Kane.

Too Cool vs. Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn

Another Series match. Too Cool clears the ring before they even take their jackets off. Scotty and Dean get things going and the pace starts very fast. Dean is hip tossed down and Scotty moonwalks into a tag. Dean kicks Grandmaster in the face and it’s off to Saturn who is armdragged down and punched in the face. A splash in the corner misses Saturn and the Radicals take over.

Saturn puts Grandmaster on his shoulder and rams him chest first into the buckle. A superplex is blocked and Grandmaster hits a middle rope dropkick for two. Off to Scotty who is clotheslined down by Saturn and suplexed by Dean. The Radicalz change again without a tag because they’re evil. Saturn goes up but gets knocked down by Scotty and it’s off to Grandmaster again. Everything breaks down and Scotty loads up a double Worm, only for Eddie to break things up. A weak tiger bomb from Dean looks to set up the Cloverleaf but Grandmaster superkicks him for the pin to advance.

Rating: C-. Sorry for all the play by play in this but it was as much of a paint by numbers match as I’ve seen in a very long time. It wasn’t a bad match or anything but it wasn’t interesting for the most part with both teams just doing their thing. That’s the usual problem with tournaments: there’s no story to the individual matches and you get stuff like this a lot of the time: technically fine but not that interesting.

Kane vs. Rikishi

These two will be teaming up against Road Dogg and X-Pac at Mania for reasons that seem to be unclear to everyone. Rikishi has a bad ankle although it’s good enough to hit a Samoan Drop on Kane. Not that it matters as Kane chokeslams him down, only for DX to run in for the DQ.

Rikishi beats up DX almost on his own but the numbers catch up with him.

Benoit doesn’t like Angle and is going to prove his hatred for Kurt by beating up his #1 contender, Chris Jericho.

Rock doesn’t feel anything about the main event. He does however feel that Cole should suck on a monkey’s nipple. “What are you waiting for? Go find a monkey!” Rock says bring it tonight if we’re having the main event for Wrestlemania tonight. He’s always ready no matter when it is so let’s do it.

Angle comes out for commentary.

Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho runs his mouth before we get going and Benoit jumps him from behind. They fight on the floor and then inside as Kurt says he’ll defend the title in a triple threat. Benoit takes over with a backbreaker for two. Jericho counters a belly to back suplex into a cross body for two of his own followed by a butterfly backbreaker for the same. Benoit suplexes him down again to get the advantage back and a clothesline gets two.

Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long. Jericho tries to fire off some punches but Benoit knees him in the ribs and drapes him over the top rope. Jericho ducks a clothesline and hits the flying forearm to put Benoit down. Bulldog gets two for Jericho and he dropkicks Benoit to the floor. Benoit gets in a fight with Angle and walks into a dropkick from Jericho. Angle throws Benoit back in and hits him with a belt, allowing Jericho to hit the Lionsault for the pin.

Rating: C+. Not the best match these two have ever had but any combination of these two and Angle is always worth checking out. Their triple threat was a great match and set up a whole summer of these guys fighting each other. The ending helped set up the three way in a few weeks so there was some long term value to this as well. Good stuff.

Post match here’s Bob Backlund for no apparent reason. Jericho beats him up but walks into the Angle Slam.

Backlund and Angle celebrate in the back.

Head Cheese (Al Snow and Steve Blackman) have an odd moment with Benjamin Franklin. That’s not a metaphor or anything. A guy in a Franklin costume comes up and talks to them.

Holly Cousins vs. Al Snow/Steve Blackman

I can’t call them Head Cheese in good conscience in a match. Snow and Crash (Hardcore Champion) start in match #3 of the Series. Crash tries to get on Snow’s shoulders but gets caught with some headbutts instead. The Champion (Crash is the only one in the match) catches Al with a rana but Blackman kicks him in the back and comes in. Back to Snow as Lawler tries to explain hip hop music to JR.

Off to Hardcore who slams Snow and everything breaks down. The Hollies seem to screw up a double flapjack and here comes Taz with a referee. He beats Crash into the crowd which is somehow not a DQ and the tag match is now a handicap. Blackman kicks Snow down and we cut to the back to see fans trying to see the Hardcore Title stuff. We cut back to see Blackman holding Holly over his knee as Snow hits a middle rope legdrop for the pin to advance to the battle royal.

Rating: D+. The Hardcore Title constantly made matches a mess and this was no exception. The Hollies were former tag team champions but that was never really talked about for the most part. Head Cheese was a comedy team and it worked for awhile but thankfully they dropped it relatively soon after this. This wasn’t much of a match due to stuff other than the match getting the focus.

Edge/Christian vs. Acolytes

Christian dives on both Acolytes as they come to the ring. He and Bradshaw starts and the Canadian gets his head kicked off to give Bradshaw the advantage. Farrooq comes in with a spinebuster for two and Christian is in trouble. A very weak clothesline puts Christian down again but he comes back with a reverse DDT. Here’s Mideon who wants to be in the Acolytes and it’s off to Edge who takes Farrooq down with a top rope clothesline. Everything breaks down and Mideon hits Bradshaw with a mop by mistake, sending Bradshaw into the Downward Spiral from Edge for the quick pin.

The four teams are the Hardys, Edge/Christian, Too Cool and Snow/Blackman.

Test vs. Val Venis

Trish is with Test and debuted last night, selecting him as her first talent. Val gets an early advantage but walks into a full nelson slam. That doesn’t seem to have much of an effect as he pounds on Test in the corner, only to be whipped into the other corner incredibly hard. The pumphandle slam is countered by Val into what I think was a botched belly to back powerbomb of some kind. Trish gets up on the apron and unbuttons her coat to show Val her abs, allowing Test to roll up Val and use trunks for the pin.

Post match Val beats up Test until Albert makes the save, I guess officially forming T and A. Trish gets a mic and calls her boys off Val and names the team. Test gives her perhaps the most awkward hug ever and that’s it.

Video of Rock hosting SNL this past week. This was a huge deal as the first time had been to promote the original Wrestlemania with Hogan hosting. Rock got to show off some actual talent though, including singing a bit. Big Show, HHH and Foley were there too.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Hardy Boys, Edge/Christian, Al Snow/Steve Blackman, Too Cool

The winners get the Dudleys at the PPV and the champions are at ringside. Everything goes nuts to start with Too Cool having an early advantage. Scotty hits the Worm on Blackman and is thankfully eliminated by Snow, meaning Too Cool is eliminated. Edge dumps Blackman so we’re down to two teams in about a minute. Jeff takes down Edge but Christian takes down Jeff. Matt takes down Edge and Jeff Swantons Christian but Edge spears Jeff. Then the Dudleys get in and hit 3D on Edge and Matt. It’s table time and Jeff is powerbombed through Christian through a table. The match ends with no winner.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. HHH vs. Big Show

HHH is defending. We start fast with Rock taking Show down for two and a slam gets the same on HHH. Rock knocks HHH to the floor and Vince decks the champ. Rock Bottom gets two on Big Show as HHH saves. He gets sent to the floor again and this time Rock follows to hammer on him. Rock and HHH fight into the crowd and Show eventually follows with right hands to the Brahma Bull.

Back to ringside with HHH being thrown into Big Show. They head back into the ring and Rock is double teamed down into the corner. Show chokes away as HHH directs traffic. HHH drops a knee on Rock’s head (clearly missing by a good four inches) for two. While Big Show is arguing with the referee, Rock fires off some right hands on HHH but the Game punches him down.

Out to the floor again with HHH being sent into the steps but he goes back inside and is immediately stomped down by Show. A low blow keeps Rock down and one from HHH is just cruel punishment. HHH clotheslines Rock down and it’s finally time for the bad guys to get in a fight. You knew it was coming. Big Show beats on HHH but it allows Rock to come back with right hands for the champ and a DDT on Big Show.

A Samoan Drop gets two on HHH and the crowd is getting WAY into this. Chokeslam takes Rock down but HHH makes a last second save. A facebuster puts Show on the floor and HHH follows, only to get chokeslammed on the outside. Rock hits a spinebuster on Show but Shane hits Rock with a chair to break up the Elbow. Vince takes Shane down but HHH hits Vince and takes a chair from him. The chair goes upside Show’s head and the Pedigree retains the title for HHH.

Rating: B-. This was energetic and pretty fun but it’s a very good thing they didn’t go to Wrestlemania with this as the main event. The way they went wasn’t much better, but at the end of the day the only match that would have worked would have been Rock vs. HHH. Still though, for a Raw main event, this was certainly fine.

HHH and Stephanie are leaving and here’s Linda. She announces that the main event of Mania is now a fourway including Mick Foley. One thing I never got: why should Rock and Show be involved still? They lost clean to HHH here as triple threats are no DQ, so why should they get the shot again? Anyway, Foley’s pop is off the charts and he beats up HHH to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Not only did we have a show long competition which would eventually set up a triple threat ladder match, but we literally got the Wrestlemania main event on Raw. What more can you ask for from a free TV show? The return of Foley was HUGE and the whole show came off like it was leading up to the biggest and most important show of the year, which is exactly what they were shooting for. Very good stuff here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 30, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Tonight is likely to be about Aces and 8’s again, but they really need to talk about the PPV. If my math is right, there’s only one match announced, and that’s the finals of the BFG Series, which may or may not be three matches. Other than that though, I don’t think anything is set. Then again it’s a throwaway show anyway. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s show. This is followed by the ending brawl from last week’s show where Aries’ hand/arm was broken.

Here’s Aries to open things up. He has a cast on his right hand but he holds the title up with it anyway. Aries talks about Aces and 8’s pulling off something major last week. He isn’t medically cleared to wrestle tonight, but he can fight. Also, they broke his right hand, but he punches with his left. Aries wants the leader to come out here tonight and fight him.

Instead (I hope) here are Hogan and Sting. Hogan rants about Aces and 8’s and thanks Sting for helping while Hogan was gone. Hulk is in charge again and says Aries can have whatever he wants. Aries says he wants the boss of Aces and 8’s again and here they are on the monitor. They seem to be celebrating and the leader says they’ll do things on their own time. They’ll be out here later on.

ODB calls Eric and says that if he doesn’t call back in ten minutes, they’re done. There’s no call and ODB says he has another five minutes. It goes over and hour and it’s still not over. She gives him until next week and wants fried chicken.

Bound For Glory Series Leaderboard

James Storm 66

Samoa Joe 61

Rob Van Dam 55

Bully Ray 55

AJ Styles 50

Kurt Angle 48

Mr. Anderson 47

Jeff Hardy 42

Christopher Daniels 33

Magnus 28

Robbie E 12

D’Angelo Dinero 7

Bound For Glory Series: Rob Van Dam vs. James Storm

Basically if Van Dam wins he clinches a spot in the final four but he still has another shot. Storm is more or less a lock already. Apparently whoever has the most points gets to pick who he faces in the semi-finals at No Surrender. Ok so it’s three matches at the PPV. Feeling out process to start with Storm getting a small advantage via a headlock. A kick from Van Dam and a forearm from Storm get two each.

They both fire away in the corner and no one can get an advantage again. Apparently whoever loses between Angle and Hardy is out of the running. Van Dam sends him to the floor and hits a big dive to take Storm out as we take a break. Back with Storm hitting a clothesline for two. Van Dam kicks him down again and hits Rolling Thunder for another near fall.

A running DDT from Storm gets another two and Eye of the Storm gets the same. Van Dam sends him into the corner and hits a yelling monkey flip to put Storm down. This is good back and forth stuff. Rob tries another monkey flip in the other corner but jumps into the superkick. It hit the chest but it gets the pin for Storm at 11:13.

Rating: B-. Good stuff here although the lack of transitions and the finish bring it down a bit. Still though, these two had good chemistry out there and it basically locks up a spot in the final four for Storm while giving Van Dam a need to win over whoever he faces next week. Good solid match here.

Here’s Madison who says she has her rematch for the title tonight. That’s not what she gets though.

ODB vs. Madison Rayne

ODB spits the liquid courage at Madison and starts very fast. The Bam (TKO) finishes this in 25 seconds.

Post match here’s Eric in a suit with fried chicken. He wants to leave with her but ODB doesn’t like the suit because that’s not the Eric she married. Eric doesn’t like it either so he strips. ODB eats chicken and jumps on him.

AJ says he’s glad the Clair stuff is behind him. Right now though, he’s focusing on the BFG Series.

The judges debate the Gut Check guy from last week. They don’t seem that impressed.

Hogan and Sting debate who gets to do something. Hogan wants a slow buildup to whatever they’re doing. Sting waves in Daniels and Kaz who beg to not be fired. Hogan yells at them a lot and says they’re what’s wrong with this business today. No, not really Hulk. They have to defend the titles sometime soon apparently. Sting scares the appletini out of Daniels’ glass to send the champions away. Hogan and Sting argue over the use of each others’ catchphrases.

Bound For Glory Series: Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles

This should be good. Feeling out process to start but Joe blocks the drop down/kick because he knows AJ that well. AJ bails to the floor for a second before coming back in to continue feeling each other out. A clothesline puts AJ down but he nips up into a headscissors to send Joe into the corner. Joe is too heavy to suplex, but Joe misses a kick and AJ goes for the leg.

Joe kicks AJ off so AJ dropkicks Joe’s head off to send him to the floor. There’s a bit dive but Joe kicks him on the way down. AJ looks like he got snapped by a very wet towel. Back in and the snap powerslam gets two for the Samoan from LA. AJ gets chopped down and there’s an STF from the fat one. That doesn’t work so Joe switches over to the Rings of Saturn. AJ finally gets a rope so Joe kicks his head off.

The backsplash misses so AJ hits the springboard forearm. He Pele’s the arm that Magnus injured with the chair a few weeks back but Joe blocks a cross armbreaker. AJ charges at Joe in the corner, only to get Rock Bottomed down. The Clutch is countered into a pair of rollups for two but the second is countered into the Clutch but it’s not fully on. AJ escapes that and puts on the armbreaker, but Joe rolls on top of him for the pin at 8:10.

Rating: B. These two are good by definition and I really liked this one. Give this another five to eight minutes and it’s a classic. The idea of AJ going for the submission is a logical idea given the points system and Joe being able to counter all of them was the perfect story to go with. See? Psychology isn’t that hard and it works very well.

Time for Gut Check. Lewie says that he gave his best effort but also says he gets better every day. Taz says no. Pritchard says no as well thank goodness. Joey ryan pops up with a megaphone and goes off on Snow before throwing a drink on him. Snow has to be held back. That doesn’t last long and Snow chases Ryan out of the arena.

Joseph Park asks Sting and Hogan if he can investigate Aces and 8’s. Hulk agrees, presumably to get Park to leave him alone.

Bound For Glory Series: Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle

Both guys basically have to win. They have a ton of time too so this should be good. Angle almost immediately takes Hardy to the mat and puts on an armbar. Hardy counters into one of his own but Kurt will have none of that. Jeff headscissors him to the floor and hits a clothesline off the apron to take both guys down. Jeff kicks him in the corner but Kurt comes out with a clothesline as we take a break.

Back with Hardy using his fast paced comeback, including the legdrop between the legs and a low dropkick for two. That just fires Kurt up and it’s rolling Germans time. Hardy comes back with a Twisting Stunner for two followed by the Whisper in the Wind for the same. Angle snaps off a belly to belly and there go the straps.

A big Angle Slam gets two and why is Kurt surprised by that? Seriously, why? Ankle lock is countered into a rollup and a Twist of Fate. Swanton hits perfectly but only gets a very close two. Ankle lock is countered again and the mule kick looks to set up the Swanton again, but Kurt runs the ropes. Jeff shoves him off (good thing too as Angle was in the middle of the ring) and the second Swanton gets the pin at 11:15.

Rating: B. I know Angle does the same formula to almost all of his matches, but dang is it a good formula. This was the second great match of the night which is more than you get in almost any TV show anymore. When Hardy has someone in there to keep him grounded, he’s one of the best there is and that’s what he got here. Very good match.

Angle is eliminated from the Series now.

JB introduces the final five people who could still make No Surrender: Hardy, RVD, Samoa Joe, Bully Ray and James Storm. Next week it’s Hardy vs. Joe and RVD vs. Ray. Storm has already locked in his spot at No Surrender. No word on who has to do what to win.

Here’s Aries to close the show. Instead of the leader of Aces and 8’s, we get Hogan again. I really don’t like the way that seems to be going. The final five are behind Hogan and Sting on the stage. Scratch that as Styles is there too and Ray is next to Sting and Hogan. Hogan wants to see the faces of Aces and 8’s. Aries says he wants the ugly one but they can pick who that is. Aces and 8’s show up in the crowd and Hogan calls them out again. He says their finest is in the ring so Aces and 8’s can send their finest too.

Two smaller guys go to the railing but they’re just opening it for a bigger guy to get in the ring. This is a fight, not a match. The guy is right handed and he slugs Aries down. Aries spears him down and pounds away as the rest of the team gets in. It’s a big brawl on the floor while aries pounds on the guy that was sent into the ring. The running dropkick in the corner takes the big guy down and hee goes for the mask. Someone gets on the apron and puts his mask back on while pulling out a flapjack. He knocks Aries out and the whole team runs off. Apparently the guy that hit Aries wasn’t there at first. Aries is out cold to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. When you have three matches and they all rock like this, what more can you ask for from a free show? That being said, they didn’t do much at all for the PPV. Then again, who freaking cares? TNA has never been about the PPV builds and when you get a show like this, what difference does it make? Next week is going to be huge with the final matches in the Series before the finals three days later. Great show here and one of the best Impacts I can ever remember.

Results

James Storm b. Rob Van Dam – Last Call

ODB b. Madison Rayne – The Bam

Samoa Joe b. AJ Styles – Rollup

Jeff Hardy b. Kurt Angle – Swanton Bomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 3, 2001
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Vengeance and the star of the show is still Vince. The main events for the show are set and that’s really all that matters for the PPV. Seriously I have no idea what else is going on with the show because the company hasn’t bothered to tell us. This show absolutely has to be better than last week’s though. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Jericho to open the show. He says that he can win the big one and he’s going to do that on Sunday. Jericho doesn’t like that Austin and Rock have basically decided they’re meeting for the Undisputed Title because they’re overlooking Angle and himself. Jericho doesn’t like Austin very much and the disrespect is going to end on Sunday when he wins the title.

Cue Flair and Jericho says it must be an honor for Flair to be in the ring with him. Flair asks if it’s Jericho or Y2J. Jericho would prefer to be called Mr. Jericho. Flair doesn’t think Jericho can win the big one because he didn’t see Jericho beat the Rock. Naitch makes Austin vs. Jericho in a non-title match later. Shorter segment here but it sets up a match and there was no Vince, making it better than anything last week.

Rock is here.

Kane vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Bubba charges at him but gets slugged and backdropped down. Kane and Show face the Dudleys on Sunday for the titles. Stacy tries to distract Kane which doesn’t work at all. D-Von gets in some shots to Kane, allowing Bubba to hit a side slam for no cover. Middle rope splash misses and it’s clothesline and chokeslam for the pin. Basically a squash.

The Dudleys hit the 3D on Kane but Show saves. When was this match announced? Smackdown I guess?

Vince is on the phone with Taker and the big man won’t be here tonight. Angle comes in and feels awful about what Rock did to Vince on Thursday. Angle has a plan for revenge but we don’t hear it.

Albert vs. Test

Scotty is on commentary and therefore getting on my nerves. This is your standard power match: Albert hits Test, Test hits Albert, Test takes over. Albert fires off some right hands but Test suplexes him down. The elbow off the top is broken up by a slam and Albert punches away some more. Test knocks him down again but Scotty gets on the apron for a distraction. After the Wormy one is taken down, Albert hits the bicycle (Brogue) kick for tow. Test takes him down again and goes for a chair. Scotty disarms him and blasts Test with said chair before the Baldo Bomb gets the pin for Albert.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here other than Test being his usual self. Albert (now known as Tensai in case the chants didn’t make sense to you) has never been exactly interesting but he is what he is: a big bald monster who beats people up. Why they made him a hip hop hippo here is beyond me but at least they made him a wrecking ball again soon.

Trish (looking GREAT here) is looking for Rock. She finds Crash instead and we see why he was used for over the top comedy instead of chatter.

RVD doesn’t get why Undertaker hates him. Christian comes up and makes fun of him by saying he’s not better than Taker. RVD suggests a title for title match but Christian won’t put the European Title up. Oh and the capital of Belgium isn’t Waffles.

Trish finds Rock and thanks him for saving her from Vince. She kisses Rock on the cheek and Rock is taken aback. He says he’ll say you’re welcome, and proceeds to give her a kiss that most movies with they could pull off. The arena ERUPTS and Rock gives the eyebrow. This worked perfectly and didn’t come off as goofy at all.

Hardy Boys vs. Tajiri/Spike Dudley

Spike and Jeff start and the idea here is again about the Hardys having problems. Jeff tries the sitout gordbuster but his head messes up. Must be that cheap cocaine tonight. Off to Tajiri who gets caught in a move the Hardys used called the Spin Cycle, which was basically a double rolling belly to back suplex. Jerry talks about Lita’s rack while Jeff is caught in the Tarantula. The Hardys get in another argument and Matt almost gets rolled up for the pin but it’s just a two. Not that it matters as Matt hits the legdrop but Jeff tags himself in for the Swanton and the pin. This was nothing again other than storyline advancement.

The APA makes fun of Regal for kissing up to Vince. Bradshaw vs. Regal is made for later.

The Hardys argue again and Jeff is tired of being pushed around. Lita tries to intervene and gets shoved down again.

Chris Jericho vs. Steve Austin

Non-title again. Austin pounds away before he even takes his vest off. They head to the floor and Jericho gets knocked into the crowd. All Austin so far. Austin fires off some HARD chops and they head back inside where Jericho gets in some stomps. Jericho chops away but Austin shrugs them off and chops Jericho back. Both guys try Stunners but Austin knocks him down and puts the Walls on Jericho. We’re three minutes into this now and Jericho has been on offense for about 6 seconds.

Jericho goes shoulder first into the post but fires off a low blow and enziguri to give himself a breather. We reach about 45 seconds of total offense before the Thesz Press takes Jericho down. Jericho sends Austin’s shoulder into the post and then to the floor where Austin is sent into various metal objects. Austin fires off a clothesline but gets sent into the post again. Back in and there’s the Thesz Press but Jericho trips Austin up as he dismounts. The Walls go on but are quickly broken and the Stunner gets the clean pin.

Rating: C-. So yeah, we’ve got Jericho on the verge of being one of four potential world champions and he just got beat 100% clean by Austin six days beforehand. When he wins the title on Sunday, is it any wonder why he was considered a weak champion and that his first title reign went nowhere at all? This was just a step above a squash for Austin and he was never in any real danger at all.

Booker is hot wiring Austin’s truck in the parking lot.

Here are Vince and Angle to talk about Rock. Angle demands that the people respect Vince and gets the WHAT treatment. We get a clip of Vince disrobing in front of Trish before Rock saved her. Angle rants about Rock and references anal rape for some reason. He demands an apology and here’s Rock to give one. Rock runs his mouth a bit but Vince calls him an ingrate.

Vince rambles so Rock says he’ll come and slap the toupee off his head if the sick freak doesn’t get to it. Vince finally does get to the point: it’s Angle/Vince vs. Rock/Trish. If Rock/Trish lose, Rock has to join Vince’s club. If he won’t do it, he’s out of the tournament. Flair comes out and says if Vince’s team loses, Vince has to kiss Rock. If he refuses, Angle is out of the tournament. Flair and Rock do each others’ catchphrases.

Hardcore Title: Christian vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is sent to the floor but he pulls off a backdrop from the apron to send Christian to the floor. There’s the spinning legdrop to the back for two and we head back inside where Christian gets the same on the reverse DDT into the backbreaker. A powerslam gets another near fall for Christian and it’s off to some choking. The Canadian wedges a chair between the top and middle rope but gets kicked down for his efforts.

A kick puts Christian into the corner and Rob skateboards the chair into Christian’s face for two. Rolling Thunder onto the chair doesn’t work, BECAUSE HE’S LANDING ON THE CHAIR. Reverse DDT puts Van Dam down and it’s Conchairto time. Since that would put Van Dam on the shelf for a long time, Van Dam blocks it and hits a quick Five Star for the pin to retain.

Rating: C-. Just filler here but man alive Van Dam was being wasted here. The guy was way over and these random Hardcore Title defenses aren’t giving him anything at all. He just beat the European Champion and it’s another day at the office for him. Christian would get a lot better in the next few years of course but here, RVD was way ahead of him.

William Regal vs. Bradshaw

This is still during the phantom brass knuckles stage for Regal so if you don’t see the ending coming here, I can’t help you. There’s about 50 seconds before the knuckles shot and then it’s over. Fill in the blank spot with whatever basic and generic offense from either guy you want.

Taz pops up on screen from WWF New York and talks (and flubs lines) long enough for Edge to run in and beat up Regal. They’re fighting at the PPV.

Austin Desire video.

Angle and Vince talk about kissing mens’ rectums.

Trish Stratus/The Rock vs. Vince McMahon/Kurt Angle

Why is Jerry always so shocked that Vince is ripped? Rock and Angle start things off and a Vince distraction gives Angle the advantage. Rock grabs a legsweep for two and shrugs off some punches to hit a Samoan Drop for two. A belly to belly throw sends Angle into the corner and he accidentally tags Vince. Vince immediately tags out and Rock gets suplexed down again. Now Vince comes in and we get the old technique of cutting the camera at every moment of contact of the punches from Vince.

Vince knocks Trish to the floor to really prove he’s evil. Well he has to after doing the incredibly popular stripping. Trish gets back up as Vince gets slammed down. There’s the tag to Trish who beats the tar out of Vince, which I don’t think he’s complaining about for the most part. She goes to hit Vince low but Angle shoves her down. Trish hits Angle low and there’s the hot tag to Rock.

He cleans house and hits the DDT on Angle for two but accidentally clotheslines the referee down. Angle Slam gets no count and here’s Jericho for a Lionsault on Rocky. That eventually gets two and now it’s time for Vince to go after Trish. He chases her up the ramp, likely from attempted rape, and there’s Austin. He beats up Vince because that’s what Steve Austin does, before clotheslining Angle onto the top rope. Rock Bottom gets the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine I guess but man this Vince stuff is creepy. I don’t mean it makes him evil. I mean it’s CREEPY. We have Trish running away from a man that is obsessed with shoving her face onto his body. That’s freaking WEIRD and I really don’t want to know what goes on inside Vince’s psyche. The match was fine.

Vince and Angle argue to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Other than the tournament matches, I defy you to name two matches on Sunday. Also at the end of the day, they’ve made it seem impossible for anyone but Austin or Rock to win the title, because they’ve done a great job at making Angle and Jericho look like total jokes. Like I said: guess who wins the thing and then became a lame duck as a result.

Here’s Vengeance if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/08/26/vengeance-2001-they-picked-vengeance-to-unite-the-titles-really/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 26, 2001
Location: The Myriad, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Well after last week we’re in a brand new era for WWE as we have Vince and Flair as co-owners of the company. Vince had his mind blown to end Raw last week and Austin is now the top good guy again. This sets us up for Vengeance but we need a concept for that. I wonder if we could think of something that would get people to watch while at the same time throwing away what could have been the main event of Wrestlemania at the same time. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from earlier today with Vince coming in to see Flair. Flair yells at him for what Vince said about him on Smackdown. Apparently Vince put Jericho in a handicap match and made Austin get a 5-1 beatdown. Vince says he’ll make it up to him.

After the theme song, here are Vince and Angle. Vince gets right to the chase and says that someone else is joining his club tonight. But first, Kurt has something to say. Angle talks about dominating the sandbox and then the Boy Scouts. Then in high school he was the toughest kid in Glee Club and the prom king. Then he got a full ride to Clarion University and graduated Magna Cum Laude. Then he dominated the Olympics and the WWF. He says he’ll win the title at Vengeance and I begin to chuckle.

We get a clip from the end of Raw last week with Austin beating up both guys. Then on Thursday everyone got together and beat Austin down, led by Regal. Vince doesn’t think Austin wants to go through another war with him, so instead tonight Austin will be joining Vince’s special club.

Regal, Christian, Test and the Dudleys, the five guys that beat Austin down, find this hilarious. Regal says Austin is going to try to take all of them out so they should stick together. Flair comes in and says they’re all in matches tonight. If anyone interferes in another match, they’re suspended. Austin isn’t allowed to interfere either.

European Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Christian

Christian is defending. Jeff starts with a quick mule kick but he tries a flip and staggers on the landing. Apparently he’s lightheaded. Gee I wonder why. Christian stomps on the head and here’s Matt for moral support. Jeff comes back with a jawbreaker but Christian rolls away before the Swanton can be launched. Jeff sets to dive to the floor but Matt gets in his way because it’s too dangerous. Christian posts Matt, sending Jeff crashing off the top, allowing Christian to steal the pin to retain. Short but it was about the Hardys and not the match.

Post break Matt yells at Jeff. Jeff yells back about who is smarter. Lita is told to shut up.

Hardcore Title: D-Von Dudley vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is defending and D-Von is a tag champion. D-Von immediately hits him with a stop sign, which in real life would be grounds for near death but here it puts Van Dam down for about 6 seconds. D-Von goes to the floor where Van Dam moonsaults him for two. Back inside and D-Von hits a big powerbomb to take Van Dam down for no cover.

A HARD trashcan lid shot to the head puts Van Dam down but again Rob won’t sell very long and superkicks D-Von down. Rob goes up but get neckbreakered down onto a chair for a delayed two. Van Dam goes up but gets crotched again. Sell that? Nah. Instead he shoves D-Von off the ropes and hits the Five Star to retain.

Rating: C-. Van Dam’s non selling was really annoying but D-Von’s offense looked good. I always liked him better than Bubba but Bubba has about 10,000x more personality so Bubba got the probably better deserved push. Anyway, the match was fine given that it lasted about three and a half minutes and was a forgone conclusion.

Regal needs to go to the bathroom and Christian (after translating Regal’s European) and company agree to go with him. Bubba: “I ain’t holding nothing!”

Edge’s Creed Desire video.

The four guys all go to the restroom at once and Big Show is in there too. Regal is scared by D-Von coming in and….uh…..goes on Show. I think you know where this is going.

Stacy says nothing of note.

Lawler has a telestrator (the pen on the screen) of what just happened.

Women’s Title: Stacy Keibler vs. Trish Stratus

Bra and panties match with Trish defending. What exactly are you expecting here? Stacy can’t wrestle and is in high heels. Stacy is wearing a thong and takes Trish’s top off. Trish takes Stacy’s top off but the Stratusfaction is broken up. Stacy stands on Trish’s hair but gets rolled up and has her skirt/shorts takes off to lose the match. Next. Oh and Trish pins Stacy for absolutely no apparent reason.

Here’s Rock because we need more time spent on talking/not wrestling tonight. Rock says he’ll be the first undisputed champion after Vengeance. He talks about how great he is and thinks it should be Rock vs. Austin for the undisputed title. But they’re just the world champions right now so why bother doing that? I mean, WE HAVE TO DO THIS BY VENGEANCE, so we don’t have time to waste on setting up a big match right? Rock imitates Vince which goes nowhere and is only somewhat funny.

FINALLY Jericho comes out to interrupt this. Rock is usually awesome but dang this was a miss for him so far. Jericho brags about beating Rock with the Rock Bottom before saying there’s a weakness in himself. That weakness was caring about the fans and what they thought of him. Caring about them never got him anywhere though, which is true actually. Now he’s larger than life and he’s going to beat Rock at Vengeance to become Undisputed Champion. Rock says he’ll win and that’s about it. This somehow took almost ten minutes, which is longer than any match tonight will be or has been.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Test

Edge is champion coming in. Edge immediately goes up to the middle rope for a clothesline for two but Test knees him in the ribs to take over. A clothesline in the corner gets two but Edge comes back with that half nelson face first slam of his. The spinwheel kick takes Test down and Edge takes over. The big boot from Test misses but the Edgecution is blocked. Test powerbombs Edge down and puts his feet on the ropes for two. A pumphandle slam and powerbomb from Test are both countered so Edge loads up the spear which hits the referee for the ultra lame DQ.

Rating: D+. Freaking TEST can’t lose clean here? Seriously? What in the world was the point of this? Edge wouldn’t face Test at the PPV and it’s not like Edge had to do something to get disqualified because he wasn’t going to win. I don’t get this one at all and the match wasn’t any good on top of that.

Test gets a chair but Scotty 2 Hotty and Albert come out for the save, which set up a worthless tag at the PPV which Edge had nothing to do with.

Angle is curious about which cheek Austin is going to have to kiss tonight. Regal comes in and tries to get out of his match with Big Show. Vince offers Regal some advice which we can’t hear. This REALLY needed its own segment didn’t it?

Big Show vs. William Regal

Regal knocks Show off the apron because William Regal is a real man’s man. Nothing of note happens for about 40 seconds until Booker T comes in (wasn’t he fired because of Survivor Series?), allowing Regal to use the knucks on Show for the pin. Another minute long match that served no purpose at all. Oh and if you couldn’t guess: nope, this didn’t set up Booker vs. Big Show at the PPV.

Taker comes in to see Vince and he’s not happy. Vince says he cares about Undertaker and says he’s done nothing but respect Taker that whole time. Oh…..Vince is a lying son of a gun. He says Taker owes him. Vince is a lot taller than I thought he was. Either that or he’s standing on a box. Basically Vince says do something for him or get fired and not get to beat people up anymore. This also takes like two minutes somehow.

Lance Storm is mopping floors at WWF New York.

WWF had a float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Chris Jericho/Kurt Angle vs. The Rock

Oh never mind as Flair comes out to make it a tag match. Now the logical move would be to add Austin to this so you can have the four guys in the tournament in the same match. That would be the logical move though.

Chris Jericho/Kurt Angle vs. The Rock/Kane

Big brawl to start with Rock getting double teamed in the ring. Angle hits a big German and starts with the Great One. Off to Jericho who fires off some Flair chops in the corner, only to get punched in the face for his efforts. Jericho bulldogs him down for two and it’s back to Kurt. Rock suplexes Angle down and makes the tag to Kane who calls back to back spots very loudly.

A tilt-a-whirl slam gets two so here’s Angle instead. Jericho breaks up a chokeslam with a missile dropkick and things break down enough for Kane to get double teamed. A double suplex gets two on the big fried freak and it’s back to Jericho again. That goes nowhere so Angle comes in to get powerslammed, allowing Kane to bring in Rock to face Jericho. There’s the Sharpshooter on Jericho but Angle saves, only to get clotheslined down by Kane. Jericho loads up a Rock Bottom but Rock counters into a DDT for the clean pin. Yep, just a DDT.

Rating: C-. This was back in the day when they were going with the old formula of “have a guy lose over and over and over until he wins a shocker and now you need to respect him because those losses are completely forgotten somehow.” Nothing to see here other than a short (seven minutes, nearly double the second longest match of the night) main event tag.

Jericho takes the Rock Bottom post match because he couldn’t lose to that in the match for whatever reason. Angle saves Jericho from a chair shot because why would you want one of the people standing in the way of being Undisputed Champion to get hurt?

Vince talks to the five heels that have been around all night and says Austin will indeed kiss him. Regal gives Vince some Chapstick.

Austin has apparently had about 15 beers tonight.

Here’s Vince to close the show. Vince tells everyone that they would do the same thing Austin would do and they all know it. Cue Austin and Vince is WAY too excited about this. He wants Austin on his knees so Austin says WHAT a lot. Vince says the war won’t have to start if Austin just does this so Austin has some more beer. Austin wants to bury the hatchet so there go Vince’s pants. First of all, Vince gives him Chapstick and mouthwash. Remember people, we couldn’t have a match make it to seven and a half minutes but we’re at eight with this.

Austin gets on his knees and asks for one of Vince’s tricks. He asks Vince if he uses toilet paper and then low blows Vince. Naturally Vince, with his pants down, gets whipped by a belt. How has Linda’s Senate opponent not gotten his hands on this tape yet? The five guys plus Angle come out and brawl to the back with Austin but we still have like eight minutes left.

Angle stays in the ring with Vince and JR gets caught laughing. We’re in Oklahoma City so you knew it was going to happen sooner or later. Angle goes and gets JR to throw him into the ring. Vince says he’s going to make JR kiss it instead but as Angle is forcing him down, here’s Taker for the save. Taker gets the mic and lists off all the people that have come and gone (including Savage and Bret who were somewhat taboo names at this point) and they all kissed up to Vince.

More than anyone else though, Taker did it. He’s put up with Vince for years now and wants to know if JR was going to do it. JR says no, and Taker asks does that mean you think you’re better than me. A big right hand takes JR down and we have a heel turn. Did I mention that Vince has his pants and underwear down with his back to the camera? Taker puts JR’s hat on Vince and makes him kiss Vince, before Vince gallops around the ring like a horse and spanks himself (still with pants down) with JR’s hat to end the show. Oh and Taker’s match at the PPV for this big turn: a Hardcore Title match, just like D-Von Dudley had tonight.

Overall Rating: F. I’ve seen bad shows and I’ve seen boring shows, but very rarely do I find shows that tick me off. This one did that in spades. Vince McMahon was in the ring for over thirty minutes tonight. That’s ¼ of the show and doesn’t include all the backstage stuff he did. Almost twenty of that was for a segment involving him having another man’s face placed on his body. The total amount of wrestling on this show: roughly 21 minutes.

Let me repeat that. We had roughly fifty percent MORE Vince than we had wrestling. This is the company that at this point owned the roster of every major wrestling company in the country. Guys like Booker T and Lance Storm, two incredibly talented guys, are being used for brief cameos while guys like Rob Van Dam are used to fill in time against D-Von Freaking Dudley. Angle can’t get more than seven minutes of ring time and the world title tournament is considered a secondary angle because Vince need to be spanked on national television.

Let’s stick on this title tournament being considered secondary again. This is the WWF Title being united with the WCW Title. There are three weeks between Survivor Series and Vengeance. The poster for Vengeance has HHH, a guy who hasn’t wrestled in over seven months, featured alone on it. There’s no real need for a tournament and there’s no real justification for having it at Vengeance other than to have it close out the year.

The company is an absolute mess right now and it would only get worse when HHH came back and Jericho, the guy who would win the tournament, would be given a back seat to HHH vs. Stephanie, who wasn’t even gone two months. There is nothing good going on right now but the solution was obvious: WE NEED MORE VINCE!

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Vengeance 2001
Date: December 9, 2001
Location: San Diego Sports Arena, San Diego, California
Attendance: 11,800
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The first one here is kind of huge as we unify the WWF and WCW World Titles. Norcal and I have spent months if not years trying to figure out why this is at Vengeance and not like a month later at the Rumble. The idea is that HHH was supposed to be the first Undisputed Champion but wasn’t ready yet. But he was back at the Rumble so why didn’t they just do it there? Or at Mania for that matter?

Either way, it’s more or less a small tournament with Austin vs. Angle for the WWF Title and Rock vs. Jericho for the WCW Title, then the winners fight. Austin and Rock are Austin and Rock, Angle kept beating Austin and Jericho was the best in the world at the time. Other than that, there’s nothing of note on the card. Let’s get to it.

We open with this weird old silent movie that allegedly was made by Freddie Blassie about having only one champion. It’s freaky to put it mildly. Seriously, this is disturbing. Sinner is a good song once we get to the arena at least.

And here’s Vince. Apparently on Thursday, Vince got his head shoved into Rikishi. Good to know. We’re in the full fledged WHAT stage at the moment too so that’s getting old quickly. Vince is upset that the fans laughed at it like it was some kind of comedy skit. A man that walks with his chest out like a girl trying to make sure you notice her had his head shoved into the fat of a thong-wearing street dancing sumo wrestler and Vince is mad that it’s being treated like a comedy skit.

The whole idea of Vince at times is one of the funniest things in the world. He says “he who laughs last laughs best”. And here’s Flair who owns half of the company at the moment. Why do I feel like I’m watching Impact? Flair looks like an idiot. Yeah it’s Impact. We’re pushing ten minutes into the show and the youngest guy so far has been Vince McMahon. Flair starts a match.

Albert/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Christian/Test

GO BACK TO THE OLD GUYS! Albert is the Hip Hop Hippo at the moment. Egads. They aren’t the Unamericans yet. And the Heat match was the APA vs. Billy and Chuck. Why can’t we see that instead? You know these reviews aren’t really as angry as they used to be. Granted that could be because these shows are far less insulting to my intelligence. They may be weaker shows but they’re competent at least which is more than a lot of shows give you.

Christian is European Champion at the time. Albert is the Hip Hop Hippo at this point. Take me now. And remember people: this guy was INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION. He was one of those guys that always seemed like was on the verge of a big push but it never happened. Lawler makes some bad jokes about potential names for the faces. He’s just making this more painful if that’s somehow possible. Wow it’s weird seeing Teddy Long as a worthless referee.

Far more used to him being a useless GM. Scotty and Test work the majority of this match for reasons that completely elude me. Oh look it’s Albert vs. Christian rather than Test vs. Albert, as in you know, FORMER TAG PARTNERS FIGHTING. I guess that would make too much sense. We get a Giant Swing and a Don Leo Jonathan reference. Wow indeed. Albert just massacres both heels.

With some tweeking to his gimmick, he could have been passable. And now Christian does the Worm. We get a surprisingly decent sequence as Scotty is down. And of course we get the Worm. These kinds of moves are just stupid. A simple bulldog keeps Test down for about 20 seconds which it takes for the setup for it? See why that’s idiotic? Baldo Bomb, a two handed chokeslam into a powerbomb, ends it. It actually got a pop.

Rating: D. Just…why? What in the world was the point of having this match on PPV? This was something that belonged on Velocity or Heat or something like that. It was as generic as you could ask a match to be also. This was just a head scratcher and not that good.

Regal cuts a decent promo on Edge. Now bad at all.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

So Edge at this time is getting a massive push as he goes from a tag team star to more or less the top of the midcard in less than six months. Think of him like what the Miz has been doing for the last year or so, but even faster. He was as popular as ever and allegedly was going to win the Raw World Title at the next Survivor Series in the debut of the Elimination Chamber but Shawn and HHH decided Shawn should more or less come in off the streets and beat HHH, Jericho, Booker T, RVD and Kane instead.

Edge has been laughing at Regal for a long time to set this up. Great heat on Regal. More or less the British guy is just doing very bad things to Edge with all kinds of ridiculous strikes and basic stuff. Edge busts out a hurricanrana of all things. Before he hurt his neck, he was a completely different worker. Check out his 2002 stuff and you’ll be very impressed. Edge goes for a spear on the floor and hits the steps, allowing Regal to get some brass knuckles.

That was his big thing at the time and it was a very solid heel tactic to use. He throws out back to back Tiger Drivers in a surprising sequence. Not sure why it’s surprising but that’s the first thing that came to mind. Regal goes for the brass knuckles but takes a spear for Edge to get a quick pin. Regal made that match for the most part.

Rating: D+. This just missed for me. It’s not terrible or anything, but at the same time it just felt like there wasn’t much here. Regal more or less dominated but took a quick spear to get pinned. Not sure how much I like that at all. Still though, the crowd was really into this which helped it a lot. Again, not terrible but not very good at all.

Flair is on the phone and Angle comes in. He’s a 14 time champion here so somewhere he picked up two more. I guess they gave him two more NWA reigns somewhere.

Lita, the guest referee for the next match, is stretching. Matt comes in and says he’s sorry for dragging Lita into this. Lita with straight hair is freaking delicious looking. She’s going to call it right down the middle.

We recap the Hardys’ rise to this point. Cool memories if nothing else. They’re fighting because Jeff has been costing them a bunch of stuff lately, namely because he keeps trying high spots rather than winning matches.

Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy

Lita is guest referee here of course. Dang she looked great back then. Jeff has that stupid hat on like he used to wear back then for no explained reason. The fans like Lita more than anyone else. I can’t blame them as this was just a few steps ahead of Cryme Tyme exploding. This works SO much better as face vs. face rather than face vs. heel like they were trying to do last year at Mania.

The psychology is here too as you have two guys that know each other very well and keep countering each others’ signature stuff. The main thing here though is Lita as she’s dating Matt but is being fair. It’s a nice aspect to it that adds tension and fits the storyline perfectly. Jeff gets a nice counter to avoid being powerbombed onto the floor. Sloppy, but it was intelligent at least. Jeff hurts his leg getting back in and Matt goes for it. This is very basic but it’s coming off quite well.

Matt is clearly the heel in this as he won’t let go of a half crab when Jeff is in the ropes, I guess assuming Lita would never DQ him. Crowd likes Jeff more. I’m stunned too. Jeff blocks a Twist of Fate with that leg drop he would do at times. The killer instinct isn’t here again just like last time though. They keep countering the Twist of Fate which makes sense. Maybe it could have something to do with standing there in that position and the other guy shouting before doing it.

That would give me a hint as to what was coming if nothing else. Matt is kind of hinting at full heel here and it’s working fairly well. He’s about 40lbs lighter here also. Twist of Fate off the second rope is blocked and Jeff gets the Swanton for the clean pin. This was just missing something and I think it was the full hatred. That and this wasn’t a huge match yet, although it was getting close.

Rating: B-. Not terrible and WAY better than the Mania 25 match. This was far more ground based and it came off pretty well. It’s no classic by any means, but it’s certainly a passable match. Matt flirting with going heel worked. And then they were all fine and good at the Rumble so none of that mattered.

Rock and Trish have a weird moment. How hot would their kids be? She kisses him on the cheek. Rock more or less says after tonight, come see him again and he’ll screw her. Ok then.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Big Show/Kane

Stacy is managing the Dudleys here and I’ve always thought this was her hottest period, which is saying a whole lot. The Dudleys weren’t useless yet at this point. Since it’s 2001, Show destroys both of the champions. Kane takes them both out with a double top rope clothesline. Show spanks Stacy. Ok then. A red thong shot on Stacy is never bad though. Yeah I don’t care about this match in the slightest. Kane destroys both of them.

Big Show destroys both of them. Some of you may be beginning to notice a pattern here. Kane accidentally hits the top rope clothesline on Show. To my complete and utter shock, Show and Kane get into an argument. Oh and Show is wearing his sexy one piece swimsuit. I can’t stand that thing. I truly can’t.

Is that supposed to look good? Is he supposed to be intimidating? Show goes after Stacy…again. D-von tries for the save and SLAMS INTO STACY. Yeah thanks for helping there bubbles. The champions take a turnbuckle pad off and slam Show into it with a double flapjack, naturally called 3D by JR.

Rating: F+. This just was not interesting at all. Show vs. Kane has been DONE. And I mean done a LOT. The ending was creative and Stacy was hot though. Even still though, this just didn’t work at all. The styles clash was so apparent here and it didn’t come off well at all.

Don’t try this at home. Feel free to though at your grandparents’ house.

Lita tries to apologize. It doesn’t work.

Sinner is the theme song. I saw that band last night.

So Taker was ticked off at Vince for not telling him that Angle was the mole in the Alliance. Because of that, he turned heel and started his RESPECT ME thing. He talked about all the people he beat up and that he kissed up to VInce more than anyone else. He saved JR from kissing up to Vince, and then beat him up and made him kiss it. Nicely done. Oh and he went after RVD. This was his heel turn for a long time.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. The Undertaker

Taker still gets face pops, but that likely has something to do with the Limp Bizkit song and the Harley. I say the song because it lowers intelligence so much that people forget what they were told on television. Oh and Taker got a massive haircut. Van Dam doesn’t have his signature theme yet at this point but it was coming soon. Like the next night or close to it soon. Taker is the America tough guy here and the style is remarkably different.

We hit the crowd here which at least makes sense due to the hardcore aspect. This is actually a pretty interesting match from a star power perspective, although it would be like 5 years before RVD was a main event guy. Never mind his solid in ring stuff (no it’s not as great as it’s made out to be) and the MASSIVE pops he got. He just wasn’t ready yet and wouldn’t be for years. Also he was out like a year with a bad knee so that wasn’t something anyone could control.

We get to the weapons and RVD saves himself with a fire extinguisher. Van Dam does a balcony dive and in an amusing visual, the stuff they land on shoots up a bunch of dust. It might have been Taker. They’re fighting behind the TitanTron now and you can see why WWF was so far ahead of ECW when it was still in business: there is a camera right there with a perfect shot of them. You can see every single thing that happens rather than seeing a random arm or leg. It’s very nice indeed.

Taker picks him up and rams him head first into the set which he goes partially through. Nice looking spot. Van Dam gets Rolling Thunder on the stage since a head injury that severe of course is something you can get up from very quickly. Van Dam does his running chair shot dropkick thing and it’s called a Van Daminator.

I would ask if JR ever watched ECW but I think I already know the answer to that. Taker wears him out with a chair and of course he’s fine. Van Daminator misses and RVD gets chokeslammed off the stage through some tables and is pinned. Taker as Hardcore Champion is an interesting idea.

Rating: B-. Not bad here but the majority of the rating comes from the oddness of seeing Taker in the midcard title hunt. Having a guy like RVD rub elbows with a guy like Taker is only a good thing for him at this point, although this was Taker trying out his new image and I’m not so sure how it was working. Fun match though and not your traditional hardcore stuff at all.

Jericho comes in and complains to Flair about….life in general I guess. Flair is half owner in case I forgot to mention that. Jericho’s big thing was he can’t win the big one, which is the case here. The Brand Split hadn’t happened yet either. I think that was the night after Mania or like 2 weeks after that.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jacqueline

To say Trish looks good in white is a dramatic understatement. I think this is her first title reign as they didn’t know she had talent until around this time. Seriously, who cares about Jackie? I can’t think of a soul that does. This isn’t interesting at all. Stratusfaction is blocked before it has a name. Trish wins with a backslide of all things in like 3 minutes.

Rating: N/A. Just boring and not interesting at all. See what I mean by how boring this was? That was proper English to me. Trish wasn’t any good yet and it was apparent.

We recap Vince getting his head shoved into Rikishi. The look on his face is priceless. You have to give him this: there is very little Vince won’t do for his company. No one can take that away from him.

At WWF New York, Rikishi is there. He says he’s back. I guess we’ll forgive the whole vehicular manslaughter thing. There was no point to this whole thing apparently.

We recap Survivor Series where these were the final four and Jericho and Rock beat the Alliance. Vince says Austin is stripped and as the sole owner of the company, he’s naming Angle as world champion. Enter Flair, who says that’s not the case as Rock is still the (WCW) World Champion. That sets us up to hear. There’s a montage in there somewhere but you can figure that out.

WWF Title: Kurt Angle vs. Steve Austin

Austin comes in as champion. These two had a very good rivalry in August/September. Austin as champion just feels right. They start off slow. Seeing these two as face vs. face is kind of weird. We knew Angle was great at the time but Austin was a legend to put it mildly. Ok scratch that Angle as a face part I think. It’s actually hard to tell. Weird to say but it’s true. I’m pretty sure he had Kane at Mania. Actually yeah he is a heel. Yeah I’m pretty sure that’s right.

Austin runs from a mat wrestling thing so at least he’s thinking out there. This is a chess game to start us off which is very odd indeed. Austin works on the arm. See what I mean? When do you remember him doing something like that? I guess it would be difficult for him to do his normal stuff with just one good arm. Angle…shakes it off I guess and starts stomping Austin. Austin stays on the arm though which is the right thing to do. Now, is Angle smart enough to sell the stupid thing?

Ankle lock is on and the arm seems fine to me. Ah there are the ropes. Angle goes for the leg. At least that makes sense. Just like most main event guys, Angle had solid chemistry with Austin. I love watching Angle bust out suplexes, especially when he’s healthy. He freaking LAUNCHES people. Angle starts busting out Germans, which is a really awesome and simple move when you think about it: you pick up a guy and slam them on the back of their head.

That just sounds painful doesn’t it? The moonsault of course misses. Did he EVER hit that in WWF? It looked perfect if nothing else. Thesz Press hits, the crowd pops. Yeah he was still WAY over at this point. Austin shows his coolness and busts out Rolling Germans of his own.

He even goes further than Angle, hitting FIVE of them. Dang that would have freaking hurt. Angle hits another German. Oh wait he spun around about 9 degrees so it’s the Angle Slam. Got it. It gets two and there’s the Stunner to end it. Austin is in the main event.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here as always from these two. I don’t think anyone believed Austin would lose here. I mean while he’s past his prime at this point, he’s still a huge star. Still though, very solid match as these two brought out some good stuff in each other. Seeing Austin mix things up was always fun.

Trish is in a towel and getting ready, when Test comes in. More or less he hits on her and she doesn’t like it, but he can’t be fired. In other words, sexual harassment laws are trumped by battle royal victories. Sure why not? Vehicular manslaughter and necrophilia and assault and battery are never prosecuted here, so why not harassment?

World Championship: The Rock vs. Chris Jericho

Yeah the WCW Title is the World Championship, which actually sounds more encompassing than the WWF Title, but why use logic? This was a pretty solid feud back in the day, if nothing else for the promos. Jericho is heel here. Seeing Rock bust out armdrags and leapfrogs makes me appreciate him even more. Remember, he’s about the same size as Batista or so. Imagine a guy Batista’s size doing athletic things like that. I love that springboard dropkick that Jericho does. It’s just awesome looking.

This is more of a fight than the last match as the angle was more built up in this pairing. Jericho hits a sleeper like five minutes in which is odd. Jericho is no Dolph Ziggler though so it doesn’t work. Lionsault gets two as Jericho is FREAKING. We hit the floor and this has more or less been all Jericho. Like I said earlier, he was probably at the best he ever was in his career around this time and he’s getting to showcase it here. I love when guys break a count that isn’t happening.

How often do count outs consistently get threatened? Jericho gets DDTed through the table. Didn’t look as good as it sounded. The replay makes it look a bit better. It’s fun watching Rock throw punches. Jericho hooks a Breakdown, which is more commonly known as a Skull Crushing Finale. Jericho hits the People’s Elbow, and when I say hit I mean misses completely and almost gets hooked in the Sharpshooter.

Somehow he gets the Walls, but since he’s a heel at the time it doesn’t work at all. Actually he has a Sharpshooter on Rock. Same result though. Rock hits the Rock Bottom out of NOWHERE. That was sweet. And here’s Vince. At least it makes sense in storyline terms. Rock goes for the Elbow, but stops to fight Vince.

He drops a regular elbow and of course Jericho gets up because IT IS A REGULAR ELBOW DROP. Jericho gets a low blow and Rock Bottom to win the world title. Ok then. Hearing it called the world champion is odd to say the least.

Rating: B-. This was a different style than the previous match which is a nice touch I think as it was for a different title. I’d hardly think it was intentional, but it came off pretty well. Jericho was great in the ring, but I still want to see him wrestle as a face champion. It really could work.

Austin is here NOW for the title match. Jericho isn’t even back to his feet yet when Austin is stomping him.

Undisputed Title: Chris Jericho vs. Steve Austin

Nearly immediately, Angle is here and hits him with a chair. Rock is here and hits a Rock Bottom. I guess this makes us even? The fans chant for HHH, who was semi-advertised for the show. He was in a short video earlier and that’s about it. He’ll be back in about a month to the loudest pop I have ever heard. We hit the floor for a bit with Austin dominating. Ok make that a LONG bit. Jericho goes for the Walls on the remaining table but it doesn’t work of course.

Jericho hooks an armbar despite Austin LIMPING to the ring and having Angle working on the knee the whole match. The Walls go on and there goes the referee since this is still an Attitude-Era style. HHH chant again. Jericho hits a Stunner. Vince brings out another referee, Nick Patrick in this case. I’m SHOCKED! They’re OVERBOOKING A TITLE MATCH! Flair is here and the old guys go at it, foreshadowing their match at the Rumble. Austin hits McMahon to a BIG pop.

See, it still worked to an extent. Jericho taps to the Walls (you read that right) and there’s no referee. BOOKER T comes out and blasts Austin with a belt. And yes, THAT is how they end it, and I never realized this was Austin’s final match as a world champion. Yeah, Austin leaves the title picture other than a one off rematch at No Way Out like this, thanks to Booker T. WOW. Jericho holds up both belts with Ross freaking. Wow this came off bad at the end.

Rating: C-. This was overbooked to heck and back. Even once Flair came in, I was hating it. Booker costing Austin the title is fine to build a storyline, but at the same time, it just didn’t work for me. The match wasn’t terrible, but it’s a total letdown, which fits this show perfectly.

OverallRating: C-. The problem here is simple: the Undisputed Title, the first one EVER, was at a throwaway PPV like Vengeance. Seriously, this is in December and between Survivor Series and the Rumble. This is a filler PPV and they have the Undisputed Title decided here? The ending, while putting it on the right man in Jericho, was just BUTCHERED as it took like 4 people to beat Austin. Jericho needed to go over almost cleanly here and he didn’t do it.

Heck he didn’t even beat Rock clean. Other than the final three matches, nothing here matters at all. This just did not live up anywhere near to what it should have been and it’s not a good show as a result. Definitely worth seeing for the historical aspect though.

Hardcore Justice 2012
Date: August 12, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s the last stop before we start heading towards BFG which means tonight is all about getting points in the BFG Series. Well that and the world title match with Aries defending against Roode which is the final encounter, as no one is eligible for a rematch due to a pre-match agreement. TNA has done a good job lately of making us wonder who is going to win all of these matches tonight so let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how tonight is all about violence and the Series and the title is in there somewhere too.

Tenay says the TV Title is on the line tonight too so I guess we have a bonus match. Word on the street says it’s Kaz challenging D-Von.

Gunner/Kid Kash vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr./Hernandez

This is probably the right choice for the opener as I don’t think anyone really cares about this for the most part but it should be fine from a technical standpoint. The villains jump Chavo and Hernandez before the bell and the fans seem to be behind Chavo. The fans’ pick starts with Kash and Chavo quickly hits the Three Amigos to take over. He goes up but Gunner knocks him down to slow Chavo down.

The heels use some nice double teaming moves, including a double slingshot suplex for two. Kash spends a little too much time bragging and Chavo snaps off a headscissors to take him down. There’s no tag to SuperMex though as Chavo and Kash stumble into the ropes for some reason. Off to Gunner with a right hand to take Chavo down followed by a backdrop. Back to Kash who hooks a cool neck scissors (only way I can think of to describe it) on Chavo.

Hernandez is getting annoyed on the apron but Chavo is stuck in the corner. Kash hooks a camel clutch but Chavo escapes into an electric chair. Gunner breaks up ANOTHER tag attempt. When that hot tag hits the place is going to erupt. Chavo hits a European Uppercut but goes after Kash instead of making the tag. That’s not very veteranly of him. They clothesline each other down and NOW we get the hot tag to Hernandez.

SuperMex cleans house and throws the evil tag stoppers around like they’re small men being thrown around by a large Mexican American. Gunner breaks up a pin attempt off a shoulder block so Hernandez clotheslines them both down at once. Gunner is knocked to the floor and SuperMex dives over the top to take Gunner out. Chavo tagged himself in as Hernandez was diving and after Kash is taken down by a slingshot shoulder block, the Frog Splash pins Kash at 9:37.

Rating: C+. This was perfectly fine for an opener. I don’t think most people really cared about the match but they worked the tag formula to perfection and it still works to this day. Chavo tagging himself in could lead to some friction so maybe there’s something to build off from this. Good stuff here though and a fine opener.

The people in the Series say they’ll win.

Bound For Glory Series Leaderboard

James Storm 66

Samoa Joe 54

Kurt Angle 48

Mr. Anderson 40

Jeff Hardy 35

Rob Van Dam 35

Christopher Daniels 33

Bully Ray 28

Magnus 21

AJ Styles 16

D’Angelo Dinero 9

Robbie E 5

Bound For Glory Series: D’Angelo Dinero vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Magnus

This is Falls Count Anywhere and it’s for 20 points. Dinero is jumped in the back by Aces and 8’s before the match so I guess we have a three way instead. Apparently someone is late to the show but I didn’t catch the name. Anderson is fine with Dinero being out because it’s one less guy to worry about. They play to the crowd to start but Van Dam gets jumped by Magnus and knocked over the top rope to the floor.

Anderson clotheslines Magnus down but can only get a one count. Van Dam comes back in and monkey flips everyone in sight. Well everyone who isn’t a referee that is. Magnus and Van Dam go to the floor but Anderson breaks up the spinning legdrop off the apron. Anderson sends Magnus into the apron for one on the floor. Magnus gets a chair as I assume this is hardcore and not just falls count anywhere.

Anderson knocks the chair away from Magnus but his DDT onto the chair is broken up. The two of them brawl up to the stage on the floor but Van Dam pelts a chair at Magnus to break it up. Now he hits the spinning leg to the back of Anderson who was on the barricade next to the ramp. Magnus gets in a shot to Van Dam’s knee and puts on a Texas Cloverleaf on the stage, only to have Anderson clothesline him in the back of the head to break the hold.

Back to the ring and Anderson and Magnus hit a double clothesline to take each other down. Van Dam stumbles in to try the Five Star but Anderson crotches him. They load up a Tower of Doom but Anderson breaks it up. He tries the superplex on RVD but gets knocked down and Five Starred but Magnus breaks up the pin. Magnus suplexes RVD on the ramp and asks for an expletive chair. RVD goes up the ramp with the Brit following with the aforementioned chair. Apparently no one has watched tape because YOU DON’T HOLD UP A CHAIR IN FRONT OF VAN DAM! Van Daminator gets the pin on Magnus at 9:06.

Rating: B-. I was digging this although I’m not wild on them taking Dinero out. My best guess would be it’s someone trying to take people out of the Series because they’re low in the standings, but wouldn’t you want to take out the people with the most points so you could move up? Maybe it has nothing to do with the standings. Either way, another good match here in a show that feels like it could be awesome.

Security can’t find Aces and 8’s.

Madison Rayne says she doesn’t need help to win titles so Earl Hebner won’t mean anything. If only that were true.

TV Title: D-Von vs. Kazarian

D-Von is defending. Kaz stalls on the floor to start but D-Von launches him into the ring. They head to the floor and a drink is knocked into the camera. D-Von is in full control and hits Kaz in the head with a bottle of water. Kaz tries to run up the steps but slips a bit, giving D-Von a heads up and letting him slam Kaz when he dives at the champ. Back inside and Kaz gets in his first offense in the form of a clothesline.

A springboard reverse elbow sets up a springboard legdrop for two. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long, but it gives the announcers enough time to talk about the planets for some reason. D-Von starts a comeback with some chops but gets poked in the eye to stop that cold. A spear out of nowhere takes Kaz down so hard that he stands on his head for a bit.

D-Von starts his comeback with the shoulders and a headbutt for no cover. Another shoulder gets two and D-Von has his goofy look. Kaz misses a charge in the corner and D-Von hits the neckbreaker out of the corner for two. A crucifix gets two for Kaz but Fade to Black is countered into the spinebuster for the pin to retain at 8:34.

Rating: C. Given the rumors of D-Von leaving soon, this might have been a way to throw the fans off and make them think D-Von would be leaving. Maybe that’ll happen on Impact or maybe it won’t happen at all, but either way this was fine for what it was. It was a comedy match in a way at first but it turned into your usual TV Title match. D-Von losing the title soon will likely be a good thing for it though as there’s nothing to most of his matches. Not that they’re bad though.

We recap Earl Hebner and Madison. The hot chick has a crush on the old man and he’s helped Madison win some matches. Tonight it’s a title match. Gee I wonder if that’ll mean anything.

Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Miss Tessmacher

Tessmacher is defending. They shove each other around to start and Earl is refereeing. WHY WOULD STING LET HIM DO THAT? Madison takes over by sending Tessmacher into the corner and then launches her across the ring by the hair. That has to hurt like no other. Tessmacher comes back with some clotheslines but walks into a northern lights suplex for two. The real comeback starts with some clotheslines but that mat slam of Tessmacher’s is countered. The champ slams her down by the hair and hits a top rope elbow for two. Out of nowhere Madison grabs a rollup and uses the ropes for the pin and the title at 5:30.

Rating: D. This was your usual Knockouts match: not that good but the girls look good in their little outfits. Hebner didn’t cheat at all in this which makes the sights of Madison kissing him COMPLETELY POINTLESS. Yes I get that it could mean something later, but WHY DID I HAVE TO SEE THAT HAPPEN INT HE FIRST PLACE??? Not a terrible match but man alive I do not care about women’s wrestling at all in either company. It’s just dull all around.

Bully Ray, with his back to the wall, shows JB a Dead Man’s Hand he found on his car. He tells Aces and 8’s to bring it on and says he’s going to Bound For Glory.

We recap the history of Aces and 8’s.

Bound For Glory Series: James Storm vs. Robbie E vs. Bully Ray vs. Jeff Hardy

Another 20 points on the line here and this is a tables match. I believe it’s one fall to a finish. Storm is still being accused of being behind Aces and 8’s but there’s no concrete evidence. Ray tells everyone to go after Storm but Robbie wants nothing to do with it. Robbie is promptly chopped in the chest and punched in the face for his disagreements. Jeff and James throw him to the floor but they get their heads taken off by Ray.

Ray beats on Robbie a bit and brings in the first table of the match. Hardy breaks up an attempted suplex through said table but Robbie moves the table to avoid a double suplex to Ray. Unfortunately he doesn’t move it well enough and Ray’s arm knocks off a piece of the table. That doesn’t count though because we can’t have a three minute match so we keep going.

Robbie comes in and takes over, putting Jeff on the table but he stops to fist pump. Storm breaks the attempt up and tries a superplex on Robbie, but Jeff turns it into a Tower of Doom. Ray moves the table but lets Robbie get destroyed anyway. Smart man there. Storm moves the table so Hardy can’t be backdropped through it and the Cowboy is the only one standing.

Storm takes too long setting up a table in the corner and Rob gets in a shot to the Cowboy’s back. Hardy gets back up and knocks Robbie down again to take over. There’s a table set up on the floor with the Jersey Shore dude placed on it but Robbie T comes out as a distraction. Since Hardy isn’t the smartest guy in the world, he dives over E on the table to take T out instead. Storm and Ray are fighting off camera as Jeff is placed on a table on the floor. Robbie dives off the middle rope but Hardy moves, sending Robbie crashing through the table.

Back in the ring Storm beats up Ray and hits an enziguri in the corner, only to have his head taken off by a Ray clothesline a second later. There’s a table set up in the corner and Ray sets to drive Storm through it but here are Aces and 8’s. They don’t get in but the distraction lets Storm kick Ray down. The masked men give Storm a thumbs up but he doesn’t care.

Hardy comes back and jumps Storm as the match continues. The table is set up in the middle of the ring and Hardy hits Whisper in the Wind (not through the table). Last Call is blocked and Hardy hits the Twist of Fate. He puts Storm on the table but Aces and 8’s distract Jeff. Storm hits the superkick on Jeff but Ray comes back in and kicks Storm down before powerbombing Hardy through the table for the win at 9:45.

Rating: C. This was pretty entertaining but it was more about the storyline than the match which is fine. The signs seem to point to Storm being in charge of the attacks but there’s no direct evidence so far and Storm may be being framed. Ray getting the win is interesting, even though he may be leaving soon. Could it be a red herring? The fact that I don’t know for sure makes this much more fun.

Ray seems to have a bad elbow due to the inadvertent crash through the table earlier.

Austin Aries talks about how Roode seems obsessed with having a rematch clause. Tonight he’ll take care of everything that he has to, and if that includes Aces and 8’s so be it.

We recap the X Title match. King jumped to TNA and wants to be champion because if not, it was a failed risk.

X-Division Title: Kenny King vs. Zema Ion

King is challenging. Feeling out process to start with King finally taking over with a headlock. A backslide gets two as does La Majistral. Back to the headlock and then out to the floor with King hitting a sweet flip dive off the apron. They head back inside for a second but King is knocked back outside where the champ hits a flip dive of his own. Ion hits a neckbreaker for two and it’s off to a chinlock.

That only lasts a few seconds as Ion chokes instead. Now we get a longer lasting chinlock followed by a DDT for two. King comes back with an atomic drop and things speed up a bit. A high collar throw puts Ion into the corner and out to the floor. King hits a BIG corkscrew dive to the floor which gets two back in.

The modified F5 is broken up but King puts on a half crab of all things. A kick similar to Trouble in Paradise misses and a flipping backbreaker gets two for Ion. King hits a knee to the head for two and knocks the hairspray out of Ion’s hand. They head to the corner and King sets for some kind of sunset flip but gets countered into something like a shoulderbreaker for the pin by Ion to retain at 11:03.

Rating: D+. Ion is really freaking boring. At the end of the day all he has is big hair and that’s nothing interesting at all. I get that they want to wait on Sorensen to come back and take the title from him in a big moment, but do we have to sit through him as champion that long? Nothing to see here and Ion winning was a letdown as he was shown up in this match.

Joe tells Aces and 8’s to bring it and that he’s winning tonight.

Bound For Glory Series: AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe vs. Christopher Daniels

20 points and it’s a ladder match. AJ immediately jumps Daniels and beats on him until Angle pulls Styles off. Angle jumps in and stomps on Daniels until Joe wants a turn. All three guys take their shots at Daniels who finally tries a BME, only to miss completely. Joe takes over but AJ knocks him to the floor and hits a big flip dive. It’s Styles vs. Angle in the ring but Daniels gets the ladder and hits AJ in the knee with it to take over.

The ladder is brought in but Joe slams Daniels onto it and goes for a climb. Angle and AJ come back in and knock the ladder down with Kurt taking over. Daniels jumps Angle from behind and sets the ladder up, only to get buckle bombed by Joe. The Samoan goes up but Angle makes the save and hits the overhead belly to belly to take Joe down. The fans chant USA despite all four guys being American.

Angle stomps on Styles but AJ shoves the ladder into his face to change control again. The Pele takes Joe down and AJ pounds on Daniels in the corner. Joe gets back up and cleans house, throwing around everyone in sight. He loads up the MuscleBuster on Styles but Angle comes in and grabs Joe for a German while he’s still holding AJ. Since that would probably kill AJ, he falls out and lands on Joe instead. Daniels hits an STO on Angle and goes for a climb but Kurt grabs the ankle to break it up.

AJ knocks everyone down and goes up, only for Daniels to shove him off the top and out to the floor in a scary landing. Joe and Angle bring Daniels down and it’s time for some suplexes. It turns into “can you top this” on Daniels which is always fun. There’s an Angle Slam and then Angle starts thinking. Daniels is put inside the ladder so that his head is coming through one hole and his legs are through another. The beating continues until Kurt climbs up. Daniels grabs his leg so Joe sets up another ladder and climbs as well. AJ pops in out of NOWHERE with the Shelton Benjamin leap and grabs the envelope to win at 16:18.

Rating: B. The stuff with Daniels was great and the match was good, but other than the ending there was nothing that stood out as great. Thankfully there was no Clair involvement here as she drags down almost everything she’s involved in. Good match here though and Daniels sold like a master.

Roode says he’ll win and that Aries is a fluke.

We recap the world title match. Roode was champion forever and Aries got the title match because he was X-Division Champion. He won the match to prove he could hang with the big boys and Roode has been furious since. Tonight it’s the final match and there are no rematches for either if they lose.

TNA World Title: Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode

After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Roode is challenging if that last paragraph was too tough for you. Aries grabs a quick Last Chancery and Roode bails to the floor. Roode stalls and hides on the floor and the match slows down a lot. The fans call Roode a coward and he’s walking away. The referee reminds him that there’s no rematch so Roode asks for time. When that’s denied he slips in and back out, so Aries dives on him in a great looking jump.

Aries knocks Roode around the ring a bit and goes to the apron again for another dive. This time Roode moves and Aries crashes into the barricade ribs first. Back inside and the challenger keeps up his advantage with a belly to back suplex and a knee drop for two. Roode wraps up Aries from behind to squeeze on the ribs a bit followed by some shoulders into the ribs. Aries grabs a sunset flip for two but a gutbuster stops him cold.

Back to the body vice for a bit before Bobby puts Aries up in the Tree of Woe. Aries finally escapes and hits an atomic drop and clothesline to send Roode to the floor. Aries loads up the suicide dive but Roode moves before it’s launched. Unfortunately for Roode he moves into position for a double ax off the top. Back in the ring and there’s the Last Chancery from the champ. Aries switches that off to a Crossface instead but Roode reverses into one of his own.

Aries finally makes the rope and we’re back where we started. They chop it out and Aries hits a missile dropkick for two. The brainbuster is countered into Roode’s spinebuster for two and both guys are needing some air. Aries goes up and after knocking Roode off the top, he fires the 450 but Roode gets the knees up.

Since this is a TNA PPV main event, the referee gets speared down by mistake, followed by a spear to Aries as well. Another referee comes in and counts two off the spear. The second referee doesn’t last long though as he gets crushed in the corner by Roode. The brainbuster hits Roode but the delayed cover means it only gets two. Aries goes up again but gets crotched. Roode hits a superplex but Aries hooks Roode’s feet for a kind of small package. Both referees count and it’s a double pin at 22:55.

Rating: B+. Good match here and I’m assuming it sets up a blowoff match at No Surrender, which at least gives that show something else to see with the world title. The No Rematch clause is at a kind of standstill here because you can’t really have a rematch if no one lost the match. I like this better than giving it to either guy, especially since the matches have been good and a trilogy is better than…..what do you call a series with just two entries?

We get the traditional arguing post match….and we’re going to restart it? Apparently so and Aries loads up the suicide dive, only to ram his head into the belt that Roode was holding at the time. HOW IS THAT NOT A DQ? Either way it only gets two. Roode goes to pick Aries up and gets rolled up for the pin after maybe a minute of restart time.

Overall Rating: B. This was a good show but there’s nothing on it that I would call great. That being said, it’s still better than I expected, although it wasn’t the runaway surprise I was expecting. The Series is a bit more interesting now and there were only a few matches that were weak, but nothing major changed here other than the main event with Roode basically out of the title picture now. This was a good show overall but it could have been a bit better.

Roode panics to end the show.

Results

Chavo Guerrero Jr./Hernandez b. Gunner/Kid Kash – Frog Splash to Kash

Rob Van Dam b. Mr. Anderson, D’Angelo Dinero and Magnus – Van Daminator to Magnus

D-Von b. Kazarian – Spinebuster

Madison Rayne b. Miss Tessmacher – Rollup while holding the ropes

Bully Ray b. Jeff Hardy, James Storm and Robbie E – Ray powerbombed Hardy through a table

Zema Ion b. Kenny King – Shoulderbreaker

AJ Styles b. Christopher Daniels, Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle – Styles pulled down the envelope

Austin Aries b. Bobby Roode – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Summerslam 2003
Date: August 24, 2003
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 16,113
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

So Austin and Rock are retired, Lesnar is still a big name, HBK stuck around to shock the world even more, and that’s about it. Seriously, not much else has happened. Cena and Batista haven’t risen to power yet as they’re about a year and a half away from taking over the company. There is a new arrival however: Goldberg, who I wouldn’t call a flop but I’d call him a disappointment.

He’s at war with HHH over the title currently, so that’s your main feud, but of course they couldn’t just have them go one on one, so we get the second Elimination Chamber instead. Your other main event here is Brock vs. Angle in a Wrestlemania rematch. The card looks….ok I guess but a bit top heavy. Let’s see how it is.

Lillian Garcia sings the Star Spangled Banner with the Marine Corps Color Guard on the stage. To say she’s gorgeous is an understatement. They need to do this more often at PPVs. The opening video is pretty good, as we hear a clock striking what I would assume to be midnight and with each bell sound we see a clip of another match. Oh I forgot to mention: Lesnar is a heel again and is working for Vince.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance

This is as simple as you can get here: the French champions make fun of American so the American team that’s never really been patriotic rally round the flag to fight for the Red White and Blue, despite the fact that the French flag has the same colors but you get the idea I guess. La Resistance are the guys that were the tag team of the year at this time, always holding the belts mainly due to the fact that they never had any opponents of note to face them.

The Dudleys were guys you could just throw into the title picture and it would work though, much like they do now in TNA. Guys like that are great to have because their resume makes them a legit threat so you know you’ll get a decent performance out of them and they make the other team look good. It’s the same thing that Shawn Michaels did in the last year or so.

He was never going to beat Jericho for the belt, but he was a legit challenger that you could count on for a solid match and he can be thrown into the title picture at a moment’s notice and be perfectly credible. That’s a very valuable asset to have. This was also back in the day of the old school tag title belts which I’ve always loved. JR touches on the idea that Bubba and D-Von are related which he kind of brushes off.

The faces are WAY over and take control early on which makes sense. They continue to dominate after a brief heel comeback, but after the 3D a cameraman comes in and hits D-Von with the picture taking machine for the pin. Bubba was too busy counting the three to stop the run in to break up the 3D, so the heels steal it. Post match, the camera guy beats up D-Von, Bubba and Spike who runs in for the attempted save, with the camera. Of course it’s Rob Conway, who didn’t have a name yet.

Rating: C. This felt like an extended TV match to me. It was ok, but nothing you wouldn’t see on Raw. The tag division was pretty much the same for about 5 years and it’s still that way today, with not much of anything of note going on other than the occasional title change. La Resistance was nothing special, but they were ok I guess. Not a bad match, just nothing that jumps off the page at me.

Coach interviews the Dudleys in the aisle, saying that the French were clever. Bubba doesn’t like this.

Bischoff is warming up and Christian talks to him like they’ve never met. Really? Bischoff is fighting Shane tonight for some reason. Christian is upset that he doesn’t have a match and Eric blames his co-GM, Stone Cold. The audio is bad here for some reason and I can’t make out all of what they’re saying.

We see the recap of Taker against A-Train. Basically Vince is hiring all the monsters he can find and Taker is the one he can’t get, so he’s the one that fights them off. A-Train started by attacking Stephanie last month at Vengeance to keep her from beating Sable, who Vince was having an open affair with.

Then, Taker fought back but A-Train kept making him lose matches, including one on Smackdown by pinfall to John Cena. Yes, Cena has indeed hit the FU to the Undertaker and pinned him in the middle of the ring. Anyway, that of course leads to this match.

Undertaker vs. A-Train

Taker’s music with lyrics is just awesome. This is the very end of his biker character though, as he was literally buried at Survivor Series by Kane in a Buried Alive match. I used to get the opening to A-Train’s music and JBL’s music confused. How can Sable be this hot at this age? She’s even hot now with Brock and this is 6 years later. Why is Taker in the second match of the night? Can I get an explanation?

Sable’s chest is EPIC here. Taker still has taped up ribs. Basic big man match for Taker which is probably his specialty: fighting monsters. A-Train was always someone that they wanted to push it seemed but it just never happened. Old School puts the train down.

We hit the floor for a bit and Taker’s back goes into the post as A-Train takes over. Can we just look at Sable’s chest some more? It’s certainly more entertaining. Taker grabs a sleeper of all things but walks into a belly to back suplex as Train keeps dominating. Taker gets out of the corner as nothing but punches. At times it seems like he does nothing but that and his finishers.

After some very basic stuff Taker can’t get the Last Ride and walks into a Derailer (choke powerbomb) for two of course. Good grief this is a formulamatic match. Down goes the referee as A-Train hits a bicycle kick and grabs a chair. It gets kicked into his face for two as we learn a good lesson about bringing a foreign object in. Use AMERICAN DANG IT! Chokeslam ends it clean.

Rating: D. Again, Taker is good at fighting monsters, but it feels like a TV match and nothing more. Why would I want to watch a TV match on PPV when I have to pay for it? It’s ok, but that’s all it is. A-Train was an underused talent, but come on. Taker deserves more than an underused talent, and to be fair he would be put into a title feud with Lesnar starting in the next week or two. Sable was hot though.

Post match, Sable comes in to try to seduce Taker. Taker doesn’t go for that and chokes her until Stephanie returns and beats the heck out of her. Cole says she kicks the heck out of her, but I’m pretty sure it’s only punches. Then again, I’m no professional. Sable and A-Train bail as Cole freaks because of the power in the ring at the moment.

Brock has a new DVD.

We see Jericho stretching in the back as Coach is at ringside asking fans who they think will win the EC tonight. Everyone thinks Goldberg. If you’re going to waste time, I guess you might as well involve the audience.

Hit the recap button for Bischoff vs. Shane. This is REALLY long so I’ll try to summarize it as well as I can. Shane and Kane were feuding because Kane tombstoned Linda. Vince is being a jerk and won’t let Shane fight Kane, so Shane fights Bischoff. Kane saves Eric and helps him win. JR then decides that since Bischoff caused Kane to try to burn JR alive, that he’s going to sue Eric.

Austin comes out and says that JR won’t sue if Bischoff agrees to face someone. Eric, assuming it’s Shane, agrees. However, it’s Kane. For no apparent reason, Kane bails and Eric immediately wins by count out. However, the contract had a clause in it that said that the winner got Shane at Summerslam.

My that’s a fast contract to have drawn up in a matter of minutes isn’t it? Anyway, Bischoff goes to Vince’s house and kisses Linda and it’s implied he either raped her or slept with her with her being willing.

Eric Bischoff vs. Shane McMahon

According to Tony Schiavone, anyone that follows tournament karate knows that Bischoff is a great fighter. In other words, about 4 people know that. Eric gets on the mic before Shane comes out and implies again that he slept with Linda. Eric is cut off by Shane’s music. You can tell he’s mad because he only dances a bit. They’re on the floor inside of a minute as Shane is just killing him as you would expect.

Shane keeps rolling in and breaking the count and then goes back out again and it’s getting annoying quickly. JR references an elevator company, and sadly enough I get the reference. Coach pops up and smacks Shane in the back with a chair. Bischoff gets on the mic and makes it a hardcore match. Bischoff says that since Coach is the best commentator of all time to cut off JR and Lawler so that Coach can do all of the commentary. Yeah, this isn’t going to be bad at all.

What was the appeal of Coach? I’ve yet to ever be entertained by him at all. Without commentary this is somehow more boring if that’s possible. Shane finally wakes up and fights them both off, breathing some much needed life back into the crowd, but Austin comes out to really wake things up. I miss JR screaming about this. Austin can’t hit Coach though unless he’s touched so we get the I’m not touching you joke.

Shane makes Coach touch him though, which I think is illegal in some states, leading to the Austin beatdown. Austin and Shane make a weird team to say the least. Austin thankfully turns the announcers back on, which I hope is illegal in all states. Bischoff slaps him and gets a stunner from the man that he fired via fed ex.

Shane puts Eric through the Spanish Announce Table, which is famous enough to get all capital letters, with the elbow for the pin on the floor. JR calls this coast to coast. No JR, no. Austin and Shane have beers to kill some more time.

Rating: D. This was more like a big angle and it went on WAY too long. There were parts of this where it was just dragging on and on and on. Austin coming out completely saved this as it was an incredible boring segment. Coach is a waste of air and always has been so why would I care about him?

This was just really bad with only Austin being interesting at all. You know, even after this, the problem for Shane is that it’s never known if Linda did anything or not, so what does Shane actually gain out of this?

Of all things, we get a Wrestlemania Recall. Dude, the show is EIGHT MONTHS AWAY. I get the idea of early promotion, but come on now isn’t that a bit much?

Nash is getting ready for the Elimination Chamber.

Flair is with Orton, talking about how HHH will win tonight. Evolution was in a weird stage at the moment as Batista was out with an injury. The real reign of terror would begin in October when he came back.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno vs. Tajiri

Eddie is champion here. All four are in the ring and the first person to either get a submission or as Chimmel puts it, catch a pinfall, is the champion. After announcing that, he says it again seconds later in case we weren’t listening I guess. There’s no backstory here that I know of and if there is they don’t cover it. I can’t find any mention of one, so I’m guessing it’s one of those let’s throw everyone together and have them do their best. That can be a great idea at times.

Eddie comes out in a car of course. He would very soon be pushed to the main event and given the WWE Title in one of the biggest head scratchers of all time as he wasn’t a big enough star and obviously wasn’t ready for it, and likely never would be ready for it. Oh so Eddie hit all of them with the belt on Smackdown so that’s our story? Dude, anyone can do better than that. The US Title is just over a month old at this point, so it’s not like there’s time for a real history.

Eddie beat Benoit for it in a tournament final at Vengeance the previous month. It’s funny seeing the table all destroyed with Eddie standing in front of it. It looks so out of place and it’s making me chuckle. It’s kind of cool to think that Benoit and Eddie would both be champions at the end of Mania in 8 months. I love the Rhyno character around this time as he was just completely insane and liked hurting people. I love that.

In other words, he was his normal self. Four ECW guys out there as well, so if nothing else ECW had an eye for talent. I always like the Lasso From El Paso. In a very cool spot, Benoit puts Rhyno in the Crossface at the same time Eddie has the Lasso From El Paso on Tajiri. For one thing, the referee isn’t sure who to check on, but Eddie has a problem. Does he try to win, or does he break up the Crossface to save the title? That’s very smart and I really like it.

Tajiri gets to the ropes though so that’s all over. Eddie gets put in it and it takes several kicks from Rhyno and Tajiri to get him to break it up. Why does ever spinebuster have to contain an Arn Anderson reference? We get it, he had a sweet move. I will always mark out for the rolling German suplexes. Rhyno hits a gore but Eddie is holding the belt which is an old and classic move. Benoit and Tajiri fight to the floor which allows Eddie to steal the pin with the Frog Splash.

Rating: B-. To me, this is perfect for a PPV title defense for a new champion. It looks challenging, he gets a clean pin over an opponent, it’s about 11 minutes long, and two guys save face, allowing them to challenge for the title in the future because they didn’t get pinned. The wrestling was fine, but as is the problem with multi-man matches, it can get hard to follow. Either way, this was fine and a great way to really start Eddie’s reign.

Shawn Michaels is in a hallway getting ready. I guess that’s better than being in a closet.

Metallica is doing the theme song, with St. Anger. Still not sure if I like that album or not. The song is good, but I’m not sold on it. It’s certainly not bad, but I’m not sure if it is good enough for Metallica.

Lesnar has been a monster lately and this past Thursday he beat up Zach Gowen, and for those of you that don’t know, he had one leg. He broke his leg apparently. Gowen was supposed to fight Matt Hardy on Heat, so Matt declared himself the winner. Matt saying that real wrestlers fight through injuries absolutely cracked me up.

We get the recap of the Angle/Lesnar feud, which they more or less say has only happened over the course of a month and not 8 months, which is the real case. Angle was a heel back then so I guess that’s why. Angle won the title at Vengeance as a face but it was a triple threat. Kurt and Brock formed kind of a super team in between the shows as Angle said Brock helped him through his injury. After he agreed to the title match though, Lesnar turned heel in a complicated angle.

Vince said that Brock had to earn the title shot, but he would have to beat Vince in a cage match to earn it. Ok, that makes little sense on Vince’s part so I guess that means everything is perfectly normal. To continue making things odd, he makes Kurt the guest referee. Before the match though, someone attacks him.

Lesnar goes into the match anyway but collapses. Angle beats up Vince but Lesnar is faking and turns heel by beating up Angle. I’m not wild on Lesnar being the heel, but I guess that works. I am glad that he comes out alone though.

Smackdown Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle

They start with amateur moves which I’m always a fan of. It’s just cool to see guys that are so naturally talented at things like that and it’s always fun to watch. This was back when Angle still had meat on him and didn’t look like he was about 200lbs. He was also relatively sane at the time, which is always a plus. In a funny visual, Angle out wrestles Lesnar and sends him to the floor. The Spanish guys STILL have no table.

They have at least a dozen tables for hardcore matches but they can’t loan the Spanish guys one for the night? I’d love to hear how ticked off they are at times. It turns into more of a brawl and Lesnar takes over as is expected. Lesnar’s second press slam is countered into a rollup. I like that as it shows that Angle learns with every move that he uses. That’s a nice little touch that likely wasn’t even intentional at all.

Lesnar busts out a rear naked choke so I guess MMA was always in his blood. We slow it down a LOT as Brock takes over with some standard heel stuff which is fine, but when I watch Brock Lesnar I want to see more than just stomps and chin locks. They keep talking about how Brock won the title last year, which is stupid as I’m pretty sure he’s done more since then. In this match, we get some of the good Angle, as he gets into that zone of his and more or less wills himself to victory.

He continues to steal moves from other wrestlers as he launches into a series of Germans from that other guy. Angle gets thrown over his head as I completely love Brock’s belly to belly and I always have. This review is rather short but as I’ve said many times, it’s hard to make fun of a good match. Lesnar’s shoulder hit the post so it’s hurt as well. Angle counters the F5 into a DDT while making it look miles better than Eddie would at No Way Out.

He pulls the straps down and for likely the first time ever, I’m loving Kurt Angle. He’s much better as a face than a heel to me, but I’m odd in that area. In a very weird thing, Angle puts the straps back up, only to pull them down again. Um, why? It looked very odd to see him do that as he got the big pop for it once so I guess he wanted another big pop? Either way it came off as odd. Ankle lock is on after Brock kicks out of the slam. In a huge twist, the referee gets knocked down.

Angle looks like he’s going for a sunset flip but in a unique move he locks his legs around Brock’s head and I guess uses a sleeper? It looks cool and I could see it working as a knockout hold I guess. From this he transitions to the ankle again and after about 30 seconds and two ropes Brock taps but there’s no one to tap to. I guess Brock is a drunk man? Vince runs out and chairs Angle to break it up as I’m going into a play by play guy which I don’t like doing.

Vince looking around as if to say I didn’t do anything makes me laugh. To just show how much of a freak he is, Lesnar hits the F5 while standing on one leg. To say that’s insane is the understatement of all time. It looks completely sick too as Angle lands straight on his head. However since this is a major PPV, Angle kicks out. Vince’s shirt looks completely stupid. The F5 is reversed into the ankle lock but Brock gets to three of the bottom ropes (called all four by Cole as he’s just a stupid boy).

However, despite him touching the ropes and even grabbing them, Kurt pulls him back and the referee doesn’t count them I guess. Lesnar taps as Kurt Mir keeps the belt. Post match Vince tries to attack Kurt with a chair and in an odd looking bit Vince misses but falls on his back. Angle slam through the chair looks completely sick.

Rating: A-. This was a GREAT match. It was two machines working very hard out there and with the right amount of time they were able to make this something special. Brock would get the title back in a few weeks after an iron man match on Smackdown. This was a very good match all around with Angle having to go to lengths he rarely had to in order to keep the title. Very good match and you should watch it.

We get an ad for Shawn’s first DVD which is also available on VHS. That just sounds odd.

Goldberg is getting ready with IPod headphones in. That makes me chuckle.

I think it’s Vince’s birthday if I’m reading the commentator’s hints right.

We see the first diva search winner, Jamie. She never got a contract which is why you’ve never heard of her. She’s cute.

Recap of RVD and Kane. This came about because Kane had to unmask in a very creepy moment and he blamed RVD for it for no apparent reason. Since then he’s just been a violent big red monster. Van Dam tries to fight him off but Kane just keeps destroying him, leading to Van Dam being tortured.

RVD vs. Kane

Just before the match starts, Fink announces that it’s been made no holds barred. At the time Kane was wearing the singlet top with pants and no mask, so he looks like a freaking moron. Anyway, Van Dam comes out and Kane of course kicks his head in for the most part. The opening half is just about all Kane but Van Dam is able to get some random punches and kicks in, but of course since he’s a main event guy, they work better. I’ve always wondered that.

Why do jobber punches mean nothing while a single right hand from say Austin can stop a guy dead in his tracks? Is it the punch that makes a guy great or is it the guy that makes the punch great? We get weapons brought into the equation and now Van Dam at least has a fighting chance. I wouldn’t call this filler, but it’s certainly not a major match, at least not in my eyes, as it’s sandwiched between the two title matches.

It’s odd to think that RVD has been world champion for far longer than Kane was, twenty two times for that matter. Kane comes off the top with the diving clothesline but misses and hits the barrier which is awesome looking.

This is back when Kane was really quite good in the ring still, but for no reason at all they wouldn’t give Kane the belt in 2002 when he was at his hottest since his debut. Van Dam gets in his usual offense but it was fairly obvious that Kane was getting the win here. RVD goes for the Van Terminator but Kane moves. This leads to the tombstone on the stairs to end it.

Rating: C-. You have a former tag team, no rules, and a violent guy. That should be a solid match wouldn’t you think, especially with two of the bigger names around. This just fell flat to me. It’s ok, but it wasn’t something I wanted to really watch. Some people would probably say it was good and I likely wouldn’t argue with them, but I just couldn’t get into it. I think the placing on the card was bad for this.

In the back Eric is getting iced and Terri asks how he’s feeling. He asks if she’s stupid. This came off as really funny to me when it likely wasn’t that great, but I really liked it. Linda comes in and Eric gets all nervous. She slaps him.

HHH is looking at his title belt. I’ve always wondered if it talks back to him. Flair gives him a pep talk.

The Chamber is lowered.

We get a recap of the first chamber match, including HHH’s legit throat injury. The problem is that we’re never told why these 6 are in this match. We instead get a music video set to St. Anger. From the best I can tell, HHH and Shawn have been kind of feuding, Nash and Jericho I know were feuding, Orton is there because he’s in Evolution, and Goldberg is the next big feud for HHH and his current feud. This is all what I remember and infer from the video.

Raw World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Chris Jericho vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Orton vs. Goldberg

In case you don’t know the rules, you start with six guys, four in the individual pods and two in the ring. After a set amount of time, one of the four are released. It’s pinfall or submission, last man standing wins. Orton is out first, so he’ll be in the pod, as will the next three. I’m 21 years old. That’s how old Orton is here. That’s absolutely scary. Nash, out second, got his hair cut by Jericho on Monday, which in reality was for a movie he was in.

Third is HHH, who I would say needs no introduction but he’s getting one anyway. Flair isn’t with him. Correction yes he is, but just very far behind. HHH was coming off a torn groin at the time so he’s rocking some shorts, kind of like Lashley wears but a bit longer. Think of Cena’s but tights. Goldberg is out fourth so Jericho and HBK will be starting. WWE of course had to change his music, which is dumb because his music rocked.

The chants have already started. Him walking through the pyro was always cool. JR says that describing Goldberg as intense is like describing the universe as fairly large. Listen here fat boy, I use analogies, not you, UNDERSTAND? Goldberg is also wearing the shorts now and he also looks stupid. I guess it was to avoid looking too much like Austin, which makes sense as he was a pure rip off of him already. The fans are WAY into him.

Orton is just a kid here and he looks almost scared to death. Jericho is next, making Shawn last. HBK is the grizzled veteran here who once again is going for one more shot at the title which would be his storyline going into Mania. The Chamber really does look awesome. There’s the bell and we’re finally ready to go. Jericho and Shawn had the classic at WM 19 so this is going to be good. JR says a coin toss determined who starts. How can you have a six way coin toss?

JR says that HBK dominated the late 80s and early 90s. Am I thinking of a different HBK? The fans are chanting Goldberg so I’m not sure what promotion I’m watching. The announcers do a good job of playing up HBK vs. Jericho as JR talks about the history of the world title changing in Arizona. Dude, you’re either preparing WAY too much or you’re the most bored man in the history of the world. Wait, that’s not right anyway.

That was the original world title, not this one. This belt has only been around about a year at this point, so no it hasn’t changed in Arizona. Are you starting to see why I can’t stand JR? This is probably my favorite period in Jericho’s career. It’s a shame he was turned face soon and feuded with that waste of air Christian. Orton is in third so it’s 2-1 in favor of the heels. I wish he did that cross body more. It’s awesome and always has been.

We get the WOO for Jericho’s chops, which is interesting as Flair is at ringside. I wonder if he considers that a compliment. I’d have to think that he would. Ross is really getting annoying with his repetition of things. Ross calls for Orton to break free of HHH and work for himself. Give it about a year or so there Jimmy boy. They finally go outside the ring and hit the cage a bit and the match instantly gets more interesting.

Shawn goes for…something and Jericho catches him with the Walls. It looked bad as more or less Shawn jumped perfectly for the Walls. Nash is in now as they try as hard as they can to make him sound like a credible threat. Well, he’s been in there 15 seconds and he’s not hurt yet so he can consider tonight a victory of sorts I guess. He has short blond hair here, so he looks completely stupid.

He’s the jobber here as no one, and I mean no one thought he was a legit challenger, despite being the only guy here to actually have beaten Goldberg. Jericho is busted. Nash and HHH had easily the worst Hell in a Cell match ever earlier this year, ending any credibility that he had left. Apparently Shawn is really close to a lot of people. It’s a shame none of them are named Becca.

Shawn super kicks Nash leading to a Jericho rollup to get rid of him, just furthering the theory that he’s a jobber. HHH is next and in a cool spot he steps through the door and HBK kicks him in the face. HHH falls back into the pod, out cold. Nash, desperate to get injured so he gets more time off with pay I guess, jackknifes Jericho and Orton before leaving. It’s a shame that he couldn’t stay healthy as he’s certainly a decent worker, especially when he’s talking.

He gets a solid pop when he throws his hand in the air, so if nothing else the people still liked him. HHH looks like he’s taking a nap. Shawn is bleeding now too, so at least we’re getting some solid violence in this one. This match isn’t very good. It’s about half the length of the original if even that and it’s just not interesting. All anyone wanted to see was Goldberg and HHH, yet for no good reason, we got this. It’s a novelty and nothing more, and in this case it’s hurting things.

Back in 2002, it was great because it was new and flashy. It’s been a letdown since then and this match is a great example of that. I think a big part of last year being a success also was Shawn’s big moment, which really was cool when you think about it. I’m actually pretty bored right now watching this. I think it’s the lack of drama. Everyone knew that it was coming down to Goldberg and HHH, so why have the other four?

There are a bunch of combinations you could put those guys in, so why have the Chamber other than to bump up buyrates? Goldberg and HHH had the one on one showdown the next month, so it’s not like it was never going to happen. It makes little sense to me and it’s really hurting things because we have to wait 20 minutes before Goldberg is there and another 10 before he and HHH get into it.

What’s the point? Most of the rant is over but I reserve the right to come back to it later on which I likely am going to do. Yeah this is another reason it sucks. Right now and for the last 45 seconds or so, EVERYONE IS DOWN. Literally, we’re watching them lay there and try to get up. Dude I can go to my aunt’s house and watch people lay around and do nothing if that’s what I’m looking for. Why would you have a match based on a lot of action and then do nothing with it?

Who do you think you are, TNA? Of course since we get a fistfight, JR says it’s like Saturday night in some obscure Oklahoma town. Is there really nothing better to do in Oklahoma than get in bar fights and choke in big football games? Oh yeah apparently you can overeat and become the world’s most annoying announcer who does nothing but shout and be a big country boy.

I get that JR is a great announcer and he’s had some masterful moments, but DANG he’s just annoying most of the time. Some of the stuff that he says blows my mind with how annoying it is.

Dang I want to just sit here and rant about him for the next few minutes but I guess that would be fairly boring, so instead I’ll continue rambling like this. Oh Goldberg is in and the fans have a pulse again. Good for them. JR says he’s hitting everything with a heartbeat. If that’s so, why isn’t he hitting the camera guys or himself?

Jericho and Shawn commit an ultimate sin and cause a sign of the apocalypse by teaming up to fight Goldberg. Orton gets the tar  speared out of him to eliminate him and HHH has been down a LONG time now. Oh he’s up. I guess that’s this being a cowardly heel thing I’ve heard about so many times. I know it’s hard to believe but yes, the WWE does make their heels cowardly from time to time.

In the first really good spot of the match, Goldberg spears Jericho through the Plexiglas. That just looked and sounded awesome. Sweet Chin Music is ducked and Shawn gets speared. I don’t have a Becca joke here. Jackhammer ends him. Just before that he points at HHH and JR says it’s as if he’s saying you’re next to HHH. My oh my what a great phrase JR has coined. How does he EVER come up with these things?

Jericho gets the same combo platter so it’s now one on one but HHH is still in his pod. There’s no way to get him out, so Goldberg kicks and punches the door in. That’s actually really stupid but it was all he could do. Anyway, HHH gets completely destroyed as you would expect. HHH starts coming back so at least this isn’t a squash. The showdown lasts all of 3 minutes though as they go into the ring and Flair slips the hammer to HHH.

Goldberg goes for the spear but he gets a hammer into the head. After the match we get the Evolution beat down. JR says that it’s felonious assault. You know what, that’s so stupid I’m not even going to make fun of it. You Jim Ross, are annoying, plain and simple.

They handcuff him to the cage as JR is saying that they think Evolution doesn’t want to see Goldberg around here anymore. Really JR? Did you figure that all by yourself? Did you manage to tie your own shoes together too? I guess Vince and Linda must like each other since they have kids. HHH poses with the belt as we go off the air.

Rating: D, For reasons already given, this match just sucks and it sucks badly. Actually that makes no sense because it means it’s bad at being bad, making it good. Oh blast it I’m turning into JR. Where’s my Texas shirt when I need it? Anyway, this match was horrible.

It was about two guys and they were together for all of 4 minutes out of 18 the match went for. Last year it was anyone’s to win, even guys like Booker or RVD. This year, we knew it would be one of the two, so why should we care? Add onto that the dead time and Nash and this was just really bad.

Overall Rating: D+. This was really quite bad. There’s one very good match here with Brock and Kurt, but other than that everything is either bad or average at best. I liked the US Title match but for the way it was booked more than the match itself. This show is pretty bad, as was most of the WWE around this time.

Nothing of interest was going on and it wouldn’t until the young blood stepped up and took over next year with Benoit’s title reign and Edge coming back from his injury to fight Evolution. Batista would be back in about a month or so to complete the team, which was both good and bad but that’s a rant for a later time. I wouldn’t watch this again, but Brock and Kurt is definitely worth checking out. Other than that, stay away.

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