Impact Wrestling – August 9, 2012: Who Said The Hot Streak Was Over?

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 9, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s the go home show for hardcore Justice and most of the card is set. Last week we had three fatal fourways added which is a pretty quick way of stacking the card. Other than that we’ll get more of a build to Roode vs. Aries, but more interestingly we’ll get more on Aces and 8’s. Another interesting thing is that there’s a chance D-Von won’t be re-signing with the company, so the TV Title may be in danger. Let’s get to it.

Recap to start in the overly dramatic fashion.

Here’s Bully Ray to open the show. He has his Twitter machine but wants to talk about Joseph Park. If there’s enough evidence against someone, they must be guilty. All of the evidence points to James Storm being guilty about being behind Aces and 8’s. Tonight Ray is going to beat up Storm and then he’ll do it again on Sunday in the tables match.

Cue Storm in street clothes. Storm says he’s sick and tired of a lot of things, but the top one of them is that he’s tired of being sick and tired. He says again that he had nothing to do with the attacks because he wants to win the BFG Series and winning back the world title. Storm draws a line in the ring and says Ray has a count of three before Storm punches his way across that line. Ray turns his hat around and says start counting. At three Ray backs off and bails. Storm says anyone can cross the line and fight him tonight.

Cue Aces and 8’s on the screen. Their voices are distorted and it’s hard to understand them. The one that talks says that Sting has invited them here tonight but they’re going to do it on their own terms. The guy talking had the word “prospect” on his jacket. Ray says I TOLD YOU SO and we abruptly cut to commercial.

Pope says he’ll win on Sunday.

Bound For Glory Series Leaderboard:

James Storm 66

Samoa Joe 53

Kurt Angle 41

Mr. Anderson 40

Jeff Hardy 35

Christopher Daniels 33

Rob Van Dam 28

Magnus 21

Bully Ray 21

AJ Styles 16

D’Angelo Dinero 7

Robbie E 5

Bound For Glory Series: Rob Van Dam vs. Magnus

This should be good. Magnus takes over to start and knocks Van Dam to the floor. Back inside and Van Dam gets in a kick to take Magnus down. More kicks take the Brit down again and the Five Star gets the clean pin at 3:22.

Rating: C. My goodness there wasn’t much in this. Still though it’s nice to see a clean win like this for a change as compared to all of the screwy ones you usually get on wrestling TV. Magnus has a great look but he can’t quite get a push rolling. Giving him matches against these eleven guys isn’t a bad thing at all though and will only help him.

Roode says the contract signing tonight might not happen because of some language in the paperwork.

Time for the Clair portion of our show this evening. Ok maybe just a recap.

Tag Titles: D-Von/Garrett Bischoff vs. Kazarian/Christopher Daniels

D-Von and Kaz start things off and the (tag) champ is taken down by a back elbow. Off to Garrett who hiptosses Daniels down and hits a clothesline for two. Back to the TV champ who uses his usual stuff to take over. Soon all is right with the world again as Garrett gets beaten down by both guys, including a sweet standing stomp to the chest off the top by Daniels. Hot tag brings in D-Von who cleans house. Rock Bottom gets two on Kaz and there’s the spinebuster to Daniels, but he isn’t legal. While the referee is putting him out, Kaz hits D-Von with a belt for the pin at 4:08.

Rating: C. Garrett Bischoff is still not a champion, meaning there is still hope for the world. This was just a quick match for the champs which is fine. They’ve had the titles for like a month now and I don’t remember them defending the things. A quick defense like this is fine as it keeps them looking a bit more legit. Also Garrett being attacked is always a good thing.

We recap Brooke being threatened last week.

Sting is in the back and calls out Aces and 8’s again. Brooke isn’t here tonight apparently.

People in the four ways talk about how they need to win.

Robbie E gets promo time. Ok then. He says he’s got five points at the moment and then he’s going to get 20 more on Sunday. Robbie plans to put Jeff Hardy through the table to get the extra points because that’s who he got the five from in the first place. We get a clip of that win which was by countout. Rob lists off five reasons why he’s better than Hardy but only gets through the first one (he wears pink sweaters) before Jeff cuts him off. Jeff cleans house but Robbie T makes the save and powerbombs Jeff through the table.

AJ says he doesn’t remember having sex with Clair, nor does he drink, so he doesn’t know what’s going on.

Joe comes out to commentary and rants about how he’ll win on Sunday.

Bound For Glory Series: AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle

AJ goes behind him to start but gets elbowed in the face. We get the signature drop down/kick sequence from AJ to send Kurt to the floor followed by a big slingshot dive onto Angle. We take a break and come back with AJ getting rammed into the corner before getting his boot up to the face of a charging Angle. Kurt will have none of that and snaps off an overhead belly to belly to take over again.

Kurt hooks a chinlock followed by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to a charging AJ, getting two. Back to yon chinlock while Clair is cheering for Styles. She never was a stable person for the most part. AJ gets back up and they clothesline each other down. Apparently AJ has only been in five matches in the Series so far which is why he doesn’t have that many points.

AJ starts a comeback and he hits the FU into a backbreaker for two. Styles tries a springboard but misses and it’s time to roll some Germans. The big one at the end gets two and Angle is frustrated. The Pele out of nowhere gets two as does the Angle Slam. The ankle lock is quickly countered and AJ tries some Germans, only to be quickly countered into the ankle lock again.

That gets broken again and there’s the springboard foearm for two. AJ hits the Clash….for two. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that kicked out of before. Styles goes up but Kurt runs the ropes and hits the belly to belly off the top. THAT gets two so Kurt goes up for the moonsault. Say it with me: it misses. AJ busts out the springboard 450 but it hits knees. Another Angle Slam finally gets the pin at 12:45.

Rating: B. This is another of those pairings that falls under the category of almost impossible to screw up. I don’t ever recall these two not tearing the house down and they did it again here. With guys like these there’s no point in using basic stuff so just having them bust out signature move after signature move is fine. Good stuff here.

As AJ is leaving Clair shouts encouragement to him. He looks at her and he keeps walking.

Aces and 8’s says a lot of people have gotten the Dead Man’s Hand and the next target is revealed tonight.

Anderson goes up to Storm in the back and says he thinks Storm is behind Aces and 8’s. Storm says it’s not him and Anderson says if Storm is lying and Anderson gets attacked, he’ll be coming for the Cowboy.

Austin Aries says the contract will work out tonight.

Gail Kim vs. Miss Tessmacher

Gail tries to jump Tessmacher during the entrance but the champ (this is non-title) avoids the charge. Back inside Gail kicks Tessmacher down and hits a gutbuster for two. After more of the beating it’s off to a bodyscissors by Kim. Tessmacher makes her comeback with some clotheslines and a dropkick followed by another clothesline out of the corner. There’s a Stinkface followed by the belly to back mat slam for the pin for Tessmacher at 3:42.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad and for the Knockouts this was one of their best matches in a long time. At the end of the day, Gail may be good in the ring but I don’t think anyone cares about her at all. Apparently Tessmacher’s move is call the Tess Shot. That’s certainly better than whatever name I can come up with most of the time.

Post match here’s Madison who kisses Earl Hebner, freaking Tessmacher out.

Joseph Part talks about contract signings.

Video on Kenny King.

Here’s Sting to address Aces and 8’s. Actually he’s here for the Roode and Aries signing but he says Aces and 8’s can come out if they’d like. We get the champ and the challenger Roode doesn’t like the contract because it says that if he loses on Sunday, he doesn’t get another shot while Aries has the belt. Roode goes on a rant against Sting, saying that Sting has had it in for Roode since he won the title.

Aries cuts him off and says enough whining. He says that for someone so convinced that Aries’ win was a fluke, Roode is awfully worried about a rematch clause. Aries says he has Roode’s number and if there’s a clause that’s holding him back, forget the contract. Aries says that if Roode wins on Sunday, he’ll give up his rematch clause, so it’s winner take all and no rematches period. Roode finally shakes on it and we have a deal. They get rady to brawl but Roode sticks his hand out again. Aries shakes it but gets water thrown in his face. Roode bails before the champ can kill him.

Chavo/Hernandez/Gunner/Kash talk about the tag match on Sunday.

We run down the PPV card.

Bound For Glory Series: Bully Ray vs. James Storm

Ray says he isn’t going to let anyone jump him so he hides in the ropes a lot. They fight over arm control before Ray sends him to the floor. We take a break and come back with Ray missing an elbow drop. Ray works on the leg a bit but goes back to punches to the face instead. Why try to be fancy I guess. A splash misses though and Storm starts his comeback. He gets sent to the apron and hits an enziguri to Ray’s head but walks into a Rock Bottom for two back in the ring.

Storm elbows him in the face and hits a top rope cross body for two. Storm goes up again and knocks off a Ray superplex attempt but a top rope elbow misses. Bubba Bomb gets two but the backsplash off the middle rope misses for Ray. Codebreaker (didn’t Storm have a name for that?) looks to set up the Last Call but Ray avoids it. Instead Storm rolls him up for two but walks into the Cutter for the pin at 10:49.

Rating: C+. Now that’s a bit of a surprise. At the end of the day though, you have to have Storm lose once in awhile because he’s way ahead in the standings so it’s not like it matters that much anyway. Ray picking up a clean win like that is a good thing too as he doesn’t get that many of them and needs to be kept strong. Decent main event here.

Ray screams WHERE ARE THEY and gets his chain but no one comes out for the second week in a row. Instead Aces and 8’s pop up on screen and say Ray is going to see a lot more of them on Sunday. Ray panics to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. I really liked tonight’s show. Everything seemed like it had a point and we got some solid wrestling on top of that. The Aces and 8’s stuff and the Clair story are likely going to die in the desert at BFG which is ok, but I wouldn’t mind if they had some more interesting stuff to carry us out there. Hardcore Justice is all set up and I really like the idea of the three fourway matches on Sunday each having a different gimmick as four straight matches would get dull. This was a really good show and I was digging it the whole time.

Results

Rob Van Dam b. Magnus – Five Star Frog Splash

Kazarian/Christopher Daniels b. D-Von/Garrett Bischoff – Kazarian pinned D-Von after hitting him with a title belt

Kurt Angle b. AJ Styles – Angle Slam

Miss Tessmacher b. Gail Kim – Tess Shot

Bully Ray b. James Storm – Bully Cutter

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




History of Summerslam Count-Up – 2001: Austin Can Throw A Mean Suplex

Summerslam 2001
Date: August 19, 2001
Location: Compaq Center, San Jose, California
Attendance: 15,293
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Ok, I know I usually say little is different, but in this case, just about everything is different. WCW in its original form is dead, having been bought by Vince for an insane two million dollars just 5 months prior to this. The Invasion is going on at the moment as WWF is battling the ECW/WCW Alliance. Tonight we have a double main event of Steve Austin vs. Angle for the WWF Title and Booker T vs. Rock for the WCW Title.

Either way, this show is just a complete 180 from last year. Also HHH is injured having torn his quad about 3 months ago. The roster has been more or less put on steroids now with guys like RVD, Booker T, DDP, Rhyno, Tajiri and Lance Storm here now. Oh and Lawler quit over his witch of a wife being fired.

Finally, Austin is top heel now, having left WWF for the Alliance, saying that he’ll have better competition now, which is completely stupid as he’s fighting the same guys he was fighting before the Invasion, but who am I to critique the genius of Vince McMahon and his Invasion storyline?

The angle could have been far better, but there’s been laundry lists of reasons given about why it didn’t work, with the big one being that they didn’t wait long enough, but I’ll drop that before I go into a page and a half long rant. Let’s get started.

WOW. This video package to open the show is AWESOME. It’s set to Drowning Pool’s Bodies, which is still the best live performance of a song that I’ve ever heard. This looks like the opening to a TV show or something and is just well done all around. It looks awesome and is one of the best video openings I’ve ever seen. Actually, here it is.

Intercontinental Title: Lance Storm vs. Edge

A lot of the stories tonight are going to consist of this: WWF vs. Alliance, and that’s what this would be classified as. Storm was the midcard Alliance guy so they gave him the IC belt to help even out the title scene. Edge gets a huge pop. This should be good. Edge was at an odd stage in his career at this point, where he and Christian were way too big of a deal to be a tag team anymore and Edge was clearly on the verge of being a breakout star.

He won the KOTR this year with he and Christian feuded over the KOTR Cup and yes I said Cup. This is very solid for the first five minutes or so with Edge having a completely different style around this time. He would get hurt in I think 2003 just as he was on the verge of the main event push and be out for over a year. His style back then was much more well rounded with more high flying but everything else just about the same as it is now.

Lance Storm has a very odd stomp, as he kicks his left foot forward and then stomps with the right boot. He must be doing something right though as he’s the only wrestler ever, and I do mean only one ever, that could make a half Boston Crab seem like a deadly submission move. We cut back to the WWF locker room to see everyone crowded around a monitor watching the match.

That’s something that could have worked well in the NWO angle, which is what this is a redoing of, and while it’s not as good, I don’t think it’s as bad as everyone says it was. Heyman’s commentary is great as he can play the cocky heel as well as anyone ever on the headset could. Edge starts his comeback as we get a gem of a line by JR: “Powerbomb by Edge. It was a powerbomb.” The more I listen to him, the more I shake my head.

Anyway, they both almost get their finishers but they can’t quite get there. For no apparent reason, Christian comes out and tries to spear Storm but misses and hits Edge which gets two. We get a nice sequence of holds and counters but Edge catches Storm in the inverted DDT which he needs to go back to for the pin and the title. Christian hands him the belt and leaves in a weird moment.

Rating: B. Another solid Summerslam opener here as they were going fast paced and slow paced in a perfect balance. Both guys were working hard and it was a solid pairing that gives you a nice title change that was more or less clean. Good way to get the show going.

Test and the Dudleys are heading to the ring but are cut off by Michael Cole, somehow looking less heterosexual than he does now. Test has left the WWF because he’s tired of being upstaged. The Dudleys left because they’re tired of Spike and his girlfriend Molly getting the glory, so we get a six man out of it.

Jericho says that he’ll beat Rhyno tonight. He also gets some funny jokes in about Stephanie’s morals and plastic surgery.

Spike Dudley/APA vs. Test/Dudley Boys

Molly with the blonde hair and in the blue top is beyond pretty. Just absolutely gorgeous. Test cost the APA the tag titles, leading to this match. The white shirts on the WCW referees just look stupid. They start off with the faces beating the heels up and then Spike comes in. Now Spike reminds me of X-Pac. He tries so hard but his size is just too much to overcome.

Why should I believe that a guy that I outweigh by nearly a hundred pounds can beat up someone that outweighs me by 100lbs? Simply put, I don’t and I never have. He was fine as a cruiserweight guy, but he had no business being in there with big men. I get that it was his gimmick, but I couldn’t stand it. We’ve got tables less than 5 minutes into the match so at least we’re not waiting that long for them this time.

The Dudleys do a double flapjack and they throw him so high up they nearly lose their grip on him. That’s just downright impressive. This is actually a very fast match as the faces take over again for just a bit, until Spike is launched over the top and through a table. Bradshaw nails Test with a Clothesline, but Shane comes in and blasts him with a chair for the pin. Paul’s line of D-Von, get the ambulance makes me laugh.

Rating: C. It was just a short 6 man without much going on. We do need filler though and that’s what this match was. It was a seven minute match and a ten minute segment in total that was just fine. It’s not bad, it’s not great but I’d call it perfectly acceptable.

In the back, the WWF guys are upset over losing the match but they’re all congratulating Edge over winning the IC Title. Christian comes up and announces that he’s gotten a European Title shot tomorrow night on Raw. No one cares, as their Grandma calls. She talks to Edge and hangs up on Christian which gets a solid laugh.

Shawn Stasiak comes into Debra/Stone Cold’s locker room which ticks off Debra. At the time he was just an idiot character that was trying to impress Austin. He says something about his tights but Debra says if he wants to make an impression to go beat someone up.

Title For Title: Tajiri vs. X-Pac

It’s the light heavyweight championship vs. the cruiserweight championship here in a unification match. Actually, upon further review it’s not, and it’s just to hold both belts. Later on they would be split again until there was suppose to be a unification match at Survivor Series. X-Pac was injured so they just dropped the Light Heavyweight Title and replaced it with the WWF Cruiserweight Title. Uh, I guess that makes sense.

Anyway, let’s get to this. X-Pac at the time was the leader of perhaps the most useless group of all time: X-Factor. It was him, Justin Credible and Albert. They did nothing, they had no feuds, they accomplished nothing. Like I said, they were the most useless stable of all time. Oh yeah Pac is wearing just tights now instead of his singlet. Ross talks about how this is the last Direct TV broadcast of a PPV, as no one really cares.

The surfboard is just absolutely painful looking. See, this is how Pac should have been used the entire time. He simply had no business fighting guys twice his size, just like Spike in the previous match. It makes sense and works much better when he’s fighting guys like these. Oh apparently neither guy is in the Alliance, so this is the one real WWF match all night. Oh what a treat for us.

Both guys have educated feet I guess. This has been almost all X-Pac, and since this is one of my reviews and my timing is worse than a broken Boogeyman clock, Tajiri makes his comeback at that very second. Ok, so maybe this is for a unified title. They’re not very clear about it, but based on what the announcers say it’s for a unified title, yet based on what actually happened, it wasn’t unified until about three months later.

The company continues to amaze me with its complete lack of sense. Anyway, they botch the handspring elbow as X-Pac dives onto his stomach like it’s just a simple hitting of the ropes. Albert comes out and gets on the apron, causing the mist to be blown. A low blow and an X-Factor come as the referee is getting rid of Albert to end this.

Rating: C+. Short and sweet here, but overall it wasn’t bad. They were wrestling people that it made sense for them to wrestle and title for title matches are always cool no matter who is in them. Pac would be hurt soon enough and he would be the guy that had to drop out of the Survivor Series match after Tajiri got the Cruiserweight Title. It made no sense, so go figure.

We go to WWF New York and see Perry Saturn as he searches for Moppy. If you don’t know about this story, do yourself a favor and go look it up. It was one of the dumbest and best angles I’ve ever seen.

Stephanie is with Rhyno and says she picked him to beat Jericho because he’s never beaten Rhyno in the ring. Now table tennis, Parcheesi and Chinese Checkers, those are all different stories.

We get a recap of the feud, which was highlighted by Rhyno goring Jericho through the Smackdown set. Now, after that, he suggests a match with Jericho at Summerslam, which makes sense as he’s already gotten the last laugh, so we have to give the face another chance to get even right?

Chris Jericho vs. Rhyno

The editing is odd here as you get the Jericho interview from earlier in the show here. Not sure why they would do them twice like that. Stephanie looks AWESOME in a black leather dress. Her hair being braded/curled isn’t working so well though. Heyman hates Jericho apparently which is ironic I’d think.

They slug it out to start and Jericho is out of his league here. Top rope elbow to a standing Rhyno which is a move I’ve always liked doesn’t do much. Walls are avoided as Jericho has shifted it to wrestling and has taken over. Jericho gets that springboard dropkick while Rhyno is on the apron. Stephanie distracts Jericho to allow Rhyno to catch him with a Gore as Jericho dives at him to the floor and both guys are down, drawing a holy crap chant.

BIG old slap to Jericho by Stephanie which Ross calls a right hand. That’s true but it’s a bit misleading in wrestling commentary. Body scissors by Rhyno which is one of his signature moves I think. I watched a match of his last night and one today and I think he used it in both. He throws in a freaking airplane spin for two. Can’t say he’s typical.

Rhyno goes up for a splash which Jericho moved out of the way from but Rhyno would have missed even if Jericho hadn’t moved at all. Jericho messes up a springboard but gets something out of it anyway for two. Middle rope dropkick gets a cover but Stephanie literally hugs the referee to stop the cover. Jericho kisses her and then hits the Lionsault for a long two.

Spinebuster by Rhyno sets up the Walls for him and they’re better than the ones Jericho tends to use. Gore misses and the proper version of the Walls, as in the Liontamer, gets the tap.

Rating: B-. Solid stuff here as Rhyno was still worth anything at this point. Jericho of course was great as he was on the verge of going into the main event as a heel which worked out pretty well for him I’d think. This was a lot better than anyone expected I think and it was a solid 12 minute match.

Rock is walking in the back and is stopped by Regal. After a fairly boring promo, Stasiak runs at Rock who casually steps aside, causing Shawn to slam into a wall. Rock completes his promo and leaves.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

This is a ladder match. It occurs to me, Hardy has had a more successful career than Van Dam, and it’s almost not even close. Imagine telling someone that back in 2001. They would have thought you were completely insane. At best for Van Dam, career wise they’re about even. Van Dam was a very interesting case. He was clearly the most popular ECW guy and WWF let him be. Yes he was on the heel team, but they didn’t make him evil.

Van Dam’s character isn’t someone menacing or threatening an they didn’t try to make him one. That’s why he was able to come out of it as a solid face: he always was one. Since I didn’t like the way I reviewed the TLC match at yesterday’s show, I’ll spare you the big long list of sick spots here and try to do more general stuff. For one thing, in this match there’s far less of a plan I think.

I’d guess that in the back, they just told these two to go put on a spot fest and that’s what happened. They go move for move with each other for about 15 minutes and it’s quite entertaining. Both guys can use the ladder very well indees, as they jump all over the place and try to one up each other with their big time moves. During the match, Heyman lists off the attributes of Sabu, yet doesn’t say his name. That just struck me as odd.

Were they not allowed to say it for some reason? I can’t imagine it was a copyright issue or something like that. Also, he’s credited as Van Dam’s mentor. I never really thought of him like that. Near the end they do the big hanging spot with Hardy holding onto the belt, which always seemed a bit stupid to me.

He really can’t unhook the belt with one hand? I find that a bit hard to believe. Anyway the ending is Van Dam just shoves the ladder down with Jeff on it and climbs up to get the belt in a rather anti-climactic ending.

Rating: B-. It was fun, but it wasn’t great. The problem with matches like these is that a lot of the spots have just been done before. We’ve seen all of these moves and while they’re cool, they’re not original anymore. Yeah the match was fun and cool, but it wasn’t great like a lot of them were. It’s still quite good though.

In the back, Booker is warming up for his match as Shane comes in with a present. He gives him book ends (like the Rock Bottom rip off of a finisher that he uses) made from the announce table that he put Rock through last week. That’s actually kind of clever.

We get a recap of the Brothers of Destruction vs. DDP/Kanyon. To me, this was an AWESOME story. Basically, we had seen Taker’s wife Sara (who was very hot, way hotter than McCool) being stalked by a guy that we never saw. He’d have tapes of himself inside their house, of her coming out of the pool, of her in the shower, in their bedroom, etc. The key thing was, you didn’t know who was filming them.

Now I’ve heard a lot of varying rumors as to who he was originally supposed to be revealed as, with the most prominent being Kane. However, it turned out to be DDP. The problem was they kind of discontinued the Sara aspect as DDP just kept getting beat up. Eventually Kanyon came in and Kane backed up Taker. They both won tag titles, so we have another kind of unification match here inside of a cage. In other words, it’s a way for Taker and Kane to kill them both at once.

WWF/WCW Tag Titles: DDP/Kanyon vs. Brothers of Destruction

Oh yeah Kanyon is the US Champion at the same time, so we have five belts in one match. Now aren’t you glad they unified some of them? I have to give them this: the WCW Tag Title belts just look awesome. They run down Taker’s history in cage matches, which is pretty extensive. I actually like the idea of pins and submissions counting here. Taker is a guy that needs to just win with a big knockout move.

Just after Taker and Kane get in, Taker grabs the door and slams it shut in a very cool looking thing. Immediately your heels try to go over the top in separate corners. If I were Taker and Kane, I would have let Kanyon leave. It gives you a handicap against DDP, who is the real hated one. Imagine what you could combine to do to him in that situation. Let the slaughtering begin. The heels actually take over for about 45 seconds which surprises me, but of course it doesn’t last long at all.

This is more or less a tag team beatdown. There is a cool moment though once the heels take over again as they’re both leaving over the top of the cage. The Brothers are down and at the same time they sit up. They follow my advice and let Kanyon leave without any problem, only to beat the living heck out of DDP. For a lot of this beating, Kane is just sitting on the top rope and watching.

Taker yells at Page that he can leave and he’ll let him live, but if he ever looks at Sara again he’ll kill him. Page tries to leave but Taker of course stops him and chokeslams him, before the Last Ride ends this. Dang man Sara is rather hot. Also, the unification lasted less than a month as both belts were individually defended next month.

Rating: C+. This was nothing but a double beating and that’s just fine. No one believed the heels had a chance so the match was booked correctly by not giving them a chance. They were completely destroyed and that’s how it should have been. Page of course turned face soon after this, becoming the motivational tooth guy (look it up).

Rock is with the doctor in the back and cuts a promo on the doctor as Stasiak runs at him again, and the same thing happens but this time the camera doesn’t even follow him. He just goes flying over the table as Rock steps back.

We get the recap of Austin vs. Angle. This was actually an epic match, as the buildup was great. They more or less made Angle into a monster leading up to this, having him beat every big name in the Alliance before finally challenging Austin. Austin had turned on the WWF at InVasion back in I think July, nailing Angle with a chair to give the heels the victory and join them in the process.

In the buildup, Angle had just beaten Austin down at every single turn and it looked like this one was going to be domination. To their credit though, the bookers never made Austin look weak. He was the same Austin that had dominated through the late 90s, but they simply made Angle look better. That’s hard to do but it works very well, as it saves Austin’s credibility as well as makes Angle look better.

WWF Title: Kurt Angle vs. Steve Austin

They meet in the aisle as Austin isn’t afraid of Kurt, which I think helps his character a lot. If Austin had just become this little coward, then no one would have bought him as the leader of the heel faction. By keeping him as the tough guy that he always had been, they make the Alliance look that much stronger. For the most part all we have in the first 2 minutes is nothing but punches.

I get why that’s how most big matches start but not two minutes worth. Austin works on the leg which isn’t as odd as you’d think but Angle gets a sweet counter into the ankle lock. The announcers more or less ruin it as they make it clear through their voices that this isn’t it. When I say announcers I mean JR. It’s weird to see Austin being in control for the majority of a match like this. These two are suplexing the tar out of each other, which is just freaking cool.

It’s not often that you see Austin using offense like this but it’s certainly both looking good and working. Angle hits seven or eight in a row, which somehow isn’t the most Austin has ever taken in a row as Benoit once hit I think 13 in a row. That’s just not only sick but impressive that Benoit could keep getting him up as well as he did. Since it’s pro wrestling though, Austin is just fine after a few seconds of resting following that many suplexes.

From out of nowhere, Austin gets a Stunner after about 8 minutes. The crowd has no idea what to think as Austin got it and got it clean. Angle of course kicks out and the second Stunner sends him to the floor. I don’t get why the announcers are so surprised that Angle kicked out. Rock kicked out after about 3 of them at Mania and after about a 20 minute match. Anyway, Austin goes to the floor and just beats the heck out of Angle.

He nearly breaks his leg and it’s Austin doing what he does best. This would have been a standard Austin match in the late 90s actually. See how well this was done? They’ve just turned his allegiance around and now Austin is still what he was before but just working for a different side. They go out into the crowd where Austin hits a suplex over the barrier but doesn’t go down with Angle. Apparently this was the best move ever, despite it being little more than a slam.

Angle counters though and gets the ankle lock on the floor with a downright scary look on his face. He gets it again in the middle of the ring, but he’s in the ropes in all of 4 seconds. Angle is bleeding bad here, like almost Austin at Mania 13 bad. Ok on second look it’s not that bad. Hey, did you know that Angle won an gold medal with a broken neck? Now sure if you’d ever heard something like that.

More suplexes follow as I’m gaining a new appreciation for those things. Angle busts out the moonsault and hits it like Curt Hennig would. Angle is going commando on Austin…whatever that means, but Austin breaks out the cobra clutch, which despite using it at Mania where Ross says that he hasn’t used is since he was the Ringmaster, Austin uses it here for the first time since he was the Ringmaster.

As Angle does the 80s style arm stays up on the third drop, his head is just looking awful. A third Stunner after all that only gets two as the fans are WAY into this. Angle Slam is the counter to the kick, as I continue to try to figure out how the Angle Slam is any different from a belly to back suplex that’s rotated just a bit. Austin hits the referee though after it gets a two as JR is of course, say it with me, FREAKING OUT.

Did you know that JR thought he knew that man? Did you know that? Not sure if you had heard that one or not. Austin low blows Angle and then stuns the other referee as JR is quoting the 25th letter of the alphabet. A THIRD referee comes out and Austin hits him with the belt. Angle hits the slam but JR is SHOCKED that the referee that got hit maybe 4 seconds ago is down. After all that, we get to the odd part of the match.

Nick Patrick, an Alliance referee, runs out, counts ONE time, and then slides out and tells Fink that it’s a DQ. Why in the world  would you count a one and then go for the DQ? I thought he was pulling up because he was going to say his shoulder hurt or something like that, but just to count one and then the DQ? What kind of sense does that even begin to not make?

Naturally, Angle goes off on Patrick with the ankle lock, and I have two observations. One: Patrick taps. Why? Does he think that it’s a match and that’s going to make Angle let go or something? Two: Ross, as usual, says that he’s tapping like a drunk man. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? I’ve been around people when they’re drunk and not once have they tapped. The line makes no sense at all and yet somehow the fans have accepted it.

After the match, Ross goes insane again and just babbles on forever about how he knows Austin can’t beat Angle. I know I make fun of Ross a lot, but this was beyond bad looking. This was bordering on embarrassing. Either way, Austin would lose clean to Angle next month after some of the best promos that I can remember, easily the best Angle has ever done.

Rating: A-. This was an awesome match. Austin went suplex for suplex with Angle and they had huge drama going on near the end. Angle took a freaking beating but kept going. I’m not an Angle fan, but there are times when he gets into that zone of his that he is just flat out mesmerizing. This was one of those nights for him.

We recap Rock vs. Booker as it’s just pathetic to really see how much WCW was just stealing from the WWF at the end. There’s imitating and then there’s just flat out ripping off. WCW was doing that later. It was really just bad, and Booker was the worst of them all.

WCW Title: Rock vs. Booker T

Yes, the main event of Summerslam is for the WCW Title. Think of someone that’s very over. Rock is more over. Ross says that the people at home are on their feet. Has anyone ever jumped up for an entrance? Not that I can think of. This is Rock’s first PPV match since Mania as he left to film Scorpion King. Therefore, if you can’t guess the ending of this show, you’re an idiot.

It’s mainly a brawl to start as neither guy has a real advantage for that long. I like matches like that. It makes you think that anything can happen and it can give you a possible hint of what I say makes a match great: not knowing who is going to win. There’s little fun in a squash match, as it’s obvious who is going to win. A good match is typically one where you’re unsure who will win. Now there are obvious exceptions, but for the most part you’ll find that the lack of a clear winner is the better case.

Oh yeah Shane is outside helping Booker about every 8 seconds as can be expected. However, the APA run out and take him out with a sick clothesline from JBL by the future waste of air Bradshaw. There’s really not much to say about the match as it’s pretty standard for the most part. Booker is down after an elbow drop but Shane has to make the save since Booker fell asleep waiting on Rock to finish with all of the theatrics. This gets Shane another head kicking.

This is a pretty solid match here though as it’s back and forth with Booker of course being in control most of the match. They fight even more but Booker spins up as Mark Madden continues to validate his existence. If you don’t believe he has a reason to exist, read his column.

I’m sure you’ll be amazed by all the things that he takes credit for, but he’d hate this show. Page had a role in it. What’s his deal with Page anyway? Whatever, it’s not like I’d be able to listen to his explanation. Anyway, as Booker spins up, Rock nips up and lands the Rock Bottom (NOT URANAGE DANG IT!) for the pin, the title, and Heyman’s heart attack. He poses with the belt to end the show.

Rating: B+. This was a fun match and was great to send the folks home happy. Booker wasn’t going to win and everyone knew it, but they did the best they could with it and it turned out pretty well. It was Rock’s big return and it put the spotlight on him very well. It was definitely good but not great.

Overall Rating: B+. Would have been better to have Austin/Angle go on last, but this certainly worked very well. Either way, we have a good show here with a solid balance of gimmick and regular matches and a fun match to end the show. Austin and Angle is an underrated match, but their match next month was better.

However, I think this show is lacking the one huge match that steals the show which is keeping it from being an all time classic. Definitely recommended though as this is a very good, but not great, show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




History of Summerslam Count-Up – 2000: A Forgotten Classic

Summerslam 2000
Date: August 27, 2000
Location: Raleigh Entertainment and Sports Arena, Raleigh, North Carolina
Attendance: 17,002
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Another year, and another Summerslam. We have no Austin at the moment, but he’s coming back very soon from neck surgery. In his absence, HHH and Rock have shot to the moon in popularity with Rock being the face of the company at the moment and the reigning WWF Champion. His opponents are HHH and Angle, who had a double pin in a triple threat with Jericho. Also, they’re feuding over Stephanie.

We also have biker Taker vs. Kane, and the first ever TLC match with the three teams that you would expect to be in a TLC match. We’re just on the verge of being out of the Attitude Era as WCW knows they’re a dying breed at this point and would be out of business in about 8 months. Therefore, WWF has won and they’re still pouring it on with the Attitude Era, but with Austin gone a lot of the edge has left, as the gap is nowhere near as big as it once was between him and the rest of the roster.

Either way, WWF is no longer dominating but is victorious in the wars with just the final surrender to go. This is the last Summerslam before the takeover of WCW, so let’s see if it’s as good as the rest of the Attitude Era.

This intro is out there. It’s all in sepia, which is that gray color you see in old movies. It’s a bunch of odd scenes and looks like something you see on an acid trip, mixed in with wrestling clips. It shows kind of a highlight package of the main feud, which makes me think that the main event should have been Rock vs. someone else (not sure who, maybe Jericho or Benoit) and HHH vs. Angle in a separate match.

One of the clips in this is the Trish bent over in front of HHH scene, which is still one of the best done comedy moments in the history of the WWF in my opinion. We get the pyro etc. as Ross and Lawler welcome us.

Right To Censor vs. Too Cool/Rikishi

It’s the Lee special as Steven Richards, Bull Buchanan and Goodfather are the RTC tonight, with Val coming later I guess. It’s hard to believe that Rikishi would be revealed as the man that ran over Austin in less than two months. Ok, the name plates for the wrestlers are going to be a problem. When they come on the screen or go off the screen they make this weird sounds and it sounds like someone is knocking on my window.

In case you don’t know, RTC was a parody of the PTC, which in essence is a company that whines and complains about how everything on TV is poisoning children’s minds. There’s a massive rant that I’m holding back here that could go on for about four pages but I’ll spare you from it. Anyway, they try to censor anything they don’t like, and they don’t like Rikishi’s thong. Too Cool and the fat guy come out with two of Godfather’s former Hos, one of which is known as Victoria.

Victoria in a short skirt dancing is something that we need a LOT more of. Apparently the WWF Title match is no holds barred. The crowd starts chanting save the gardening equipment. Yeah that joke sucks but I couldn’t help it. More or less this turns into Rikishi dominating against the other three while Too Cool do nothing at all. In other words, it’s a standard Too Cool and Rikishi match. He goes for the stink face, which is an abomination on wrestling if I’ve ever seen one.

It (thankfully) doesn’t happen as Bull kicks him in the head. Scotty goes for the Worm which is even worse than the other move, but I become a Stevie fan as he kicks Scotty’s head off and pins him. Short and sweet, just how I like it.

Rating: B-. It was a fast opener which is perfect for a PPV. For some reason the crowd always loved Too Cool, despite the fact that they completely sucked. I loved that we didn’t have to see either of those horrid moves though, so that’s a plus. Also, I like when the heels win the opening match. It makes the faces winning later that much better.

We get a recap of what happened on Heat, which is both Kurt and Stephanie arriving. I might as well explain the backstory here. Kurt had been flat out hitting on Stephanie for weeks but nothing ever came of it. Three days prior to this on Smackdown, there was a match where Kurt and HHH were in it at the same time. I think it was a tag but I don’t remember. Either way, Stephanie got knocked down and ala Hulk and Liz from 1989, Kurt took her to the locker room.

He kept apologizing and eventually kissed her, which she seemed to like. Anyway, both of them get here tonight with Kurt getting there first. Coach (in 2000? REALLY?) asks both of them questions which aren’t answered. Once Stephanie gets there, she asks if HHH has shown up yet and is told no. She hears that Kurt is here and asks which way he went. He went to the left, so Stephanie goes to the right.

Shane is being interviewed about Stephanie, but Steve Blackman, his opponent for later is near him and he runs off.

And now, submitted for your appreciation, following the frustration which led to a separation and then this altercation which spells the decimation of the degeneration, here is the initiation which I hope isn’t an abomination.

Sorry when Road Dogg starts talking that just comes over me. Anyway, DX has split and this is the result if you don’t speak rhyme.

Road Dogg vs. X-Pac

Short version: they’ve been fighting and Pac accidentally knocked Road Dogg through a table on Raw Monday night. We see a clip of these two against Taker in a handicap match, and Taker’s outfit is I guess leather pants and a Taker t-shirt. I’m not sure if I like it or not but it’s just very different looking. As we’re under way, Ross says that there are people that consider these two to be one of the best tag teams of all time.

I’m not sure if I should go with the X-Pac doesn’t look like Billy Gunn joke, or the how blind are you people joke. Either way, that’s just preposterous and….and….and that’s a hard word to rhyme so I’ll just skip it. It’s odd to think of but out of these two, Road Dogg is pretty comparable to X-Pac as far as their overall resumes go.

He has 7 tag title reigns (two were in TNA) and an IC and Hardcore title reign, while Pac has some cruiser/light heavyweight reigns and two Euro titles to go with 4 tag titles that only two of which are even remembered. I’ll take an IC reign over two Euros any day, but that’s a different point all together. The fans don’t like this for some reason, which is odd as it’s not a bad match at all.

I guess this is the famous X-Pac heat? I actually think that’s what it is as that was happening when he was in control but the fans are into it when he’s getting beaten up. Both guys were built up as faces coming into this though, so he’s not supposed to be the heel here. Granted the low blow that he uses to set up the X-Factor would suggest otherwise. That ends the match. He of course has to grab a mic though, and says there’s no hard feelings.

Dogg doesn’t and hits the pump handle. X-Pac I guess just turned heel? If he did it was horrid. Road Dogg was actually pretty over here, which is why I’ll never get why he never got a solid push. He was good in the ring, he was WAY over and he could talk. That sounds like the makings of a decent push to me.

Rating: C-. It just wasn’t there for me. It’s not bad, but it’s just not that interesting. In a match like this, someone needs to make the big heel turn before the match. Now Dogg’s best strength was on the mic so turning him would make no sense, as he needs to talk to get over as well as he does. The fans already hate Waltman, so I think he’s your guy. Either way, this just didn’t do it for me and while it was ok, it’s just ok and that’s not good in my eyes.

Eddie and Chyna are talking as Chyna is apparently more or less going to wrestle in a bikini. I’ve made my stance clear on Chyna from this era, so I’ll save the drooling for later. We cut to Val and Trish’s locker room, which is a partnership that I don’t remember at all. Trish is babbling about how she should be a centerfold before Chyna is, which is foreshadowing the Playboy shoot that was coming for Chyna. Val says that’s not important but the IC Title is.

IC Title: Trish/Val Venis vs. Chyna/Eddie Guerrero

Just like at last year’s Summerslam when Santino and Beth won the titles, this is for the IC where whomever gets the fall winning the belt. So yeah I guess somehow Trish could win the title here. Ok according to Ross if Trish wins, nothing changes. Well that’s nonsense. Lawler comments on the name graphics on the screen, thinking it’s someone knocking. That’s actually accurate.

The guys start us out as I think gender vs. gender is legal here. It’s very weird hearing the announcers talk about Trish being horrible in the ring and needing all kinds of help to do basic things. After a decent sequence between the guys Chyna comes in and easily holds her own against Val. She was something incredibly special to say the least.

No Trish yet as Val stops the tag to Eddie, spitting at him. The problem is that it costs him as he takes a low blow and a DDT. The tag brings in Eddie as we still have no hot Canadian. Blue Thunder Bomb gets two on Eddie. We get a shot of Trish and it blows my mind that they found someone as beautiful as her with the ability she had.

Trish finally comes in and of course has nothing at all. Chyna comes in to feast on her for a bit, which is probably not the best wording at all but who cares? Val stops the handspring elbow that I want to smack Muta for making a staple of Diva matches. Eddie intercepts Val and it’s girl on girl. Guess how that goes for the blonde. Press slam drop makes Chyna the champion.

Rating: D+. A lot of that rating is for the hotness factor. It’s really hard to believe that Trish was actually this bad at one point. The match was ok, but I’ve never liked matches like these. If nothing else, get another Canadian (Test maybe?) and just have a fatal four way. You can get the same result and you have a better wrestler on top of that. However, Chyna looked ridiculously hot and Trish was gorgeous as well, so that’s enough for a passing grade.

We see a party at WWF New York with Cole and Foley hosting. Some others show up and it ends with Foley dancing with Too Cool and singing with Rock. This had to be one of the coolest ideas ever, but there was no way to keep it working well.

Stephanie proves why she might be the worst actress of all time as she talks about Kurt’s kiss with the makeup lady.

We get a recap of Tazz vs. Lawler. More or less Tazz was ticked off at JR for saying Tazz was a thug, which was what Tazz always called himself. Lawler defended him, and we get this out of it. This was actually a pretty decently built up feud I thought, with Tazz beating up JR in a car and then Lawler afterwards. It’s better than it sounds.

Tazz vs. Jerry Lawler

During the car attack Ross’ eye was hurt and Tazz makes fun of that on his way there, which is actually pretty funny. He really was an underrated performer. I also love how everything can be forgiven by a simple face turn in wrestling. Lawler in white boots just looks weird for some reason. Teddy Long is the referee as you never know who you’ll see in a match sometimes.

Lawler of course is beating the tar out of him at first only to get caught later on. JR is so pro King it’s sad, although the storyline goes that way so it makes sense. Tazz goes up and tries what I guess we would call a Swanton Bomb, but it misses, Lawler pulls the strap down and piledrives Tazz, but he’s up before Lawler is. Ref gets bumped. Now if I know Lawler, and I’ve seen a lot of his stuff, I’m betting on an international object being hidden in his tights.

Anyone want to take a bet on that with me? Actually I’m wrong as Lawler gets choked out, but Ross slams a candy jar into Tazz’s head to break it up and let Lawler pin him. The odd thing is, and I’m guess this is what inspired it, at Wrestlemania that year Tazz got hit in the face with a candy jar like that in a hardcore match and it damaged his eye.

If I remember the reports correctly, it was Tazz that was supposed to get Benoit’s push. Now there’s something to think about. Another thing to think about: I like Lawler’s music.

Rating: C+. This was a simple storyline that needed a simple resolution and that’s what we got here. Lawler is always dependable in the ring and this was no exception. Ross getting involved is a nice little treat that you rarely see, although he likely should have been fired in kayfabe for that. Anyway, this was just a fun short match to let the old guys have a nice moment, and there’s nothing wrong with taking ten minutes, including the lead in and intros etc., to do that on a three hour show.

Lillian, who is A, somehow STILL not the ring announcer and B, looking WAY hotter with curled hair, tries to talk to Shane but he runs again because of Blackman, and their match is next.

Hardcore Title: Steve Blackman vs. Shane McMahon

Shane runs to the ring holding the belt. As he’s running we see how he won it, which was using the 24/7 rule and the help of Edge, Christian, Test and Albert. That’s how much of a hardcore god Blackman was at the time. Anyway, Shane is running scared here as he finally has to defend it. The bell rings twice, so I guess the match never actually happens, but why am I using logic in the WWF?

In a funny spot Shane and Blackman play pass the kendo stick, but in a cool spot, Blackman grabs the stick out of Shane’s hands mid swing and beats him with it. That looked quite cool actually. This is in the ring all of 8 seconds and JR and King are making Survivor references, as at the time that was the hottest show in the world. Now it’s still big I guess, but has anyone watched it in forever? This is a total beatdown so far as Blackman is just killing Shane.

I completely mark out as a garbage can is put on Shane and Blackman beats him half to death with sticks, allowing JR to say that it reminded him of Max Weinberg and the Max Weinberg 7. That was just flat out awesome as we get a Conan reference on Summerslam. That is just so freaking sweet. Anyway, nerd boy moment over. Leather strap is brought in and tied to Shane, which is always fun.

We need more Texas Bullrope matches, and I mean the touch four corners kind. Shane is more or less hogtied in a submission hold that looks freaking SICK, but Test and Albert run in for the save. JR goes through the history of Shane and Test and Stephanie which sounds like it’s a parody of a soap opera that it’s so cheesy. The sweet elbow of Test hits Steve so this match is a success.

They fight up to the entrance where Blackman is able to beat up the muscle guys, but Shane keeps running. However, he runs out of places to run, so he climbs one of the towers. What happens next is freaking scary, as Shane goes probably 30-35 feet up (of course called 50-75 by JR, since 25 feed is such an easy mistake to make in a place that small).

Blackman follows and slams him in the back with a kendo stick until Shane falls the whole way in a shot that looks awesome. Blackman climbs down about 10 feet before dropping an elbow/leg onto Shane then covering him for the title. Ross tries to compare it to Foley’s Cell dive, and I just shake my head. BIG difference between landing on a table and then concrete and falling backwards onto a crash pad there fat boy.

Rating: B. Not even factoring in the huge spot at the end, this was a standard enjoyable hardcore match, with all kinds of weapons and Shane getting beaten up. They tried so hard to make Blackman a big deal here, but the problem was the division was just a novelty, and Blackman was gone soon after this if I remember correctly. I know he was gone by the Invasion which was less than a year away.

In a scene that cracks me up, Stephanie is freaking over Shane, but isn’t near him, despite him being in the same building. Her not even leaving her room just makes me laugh. Kurt comes in to hug her and Foley, who for no reason at all is wearing a Minnesota Twins jersey, comes in and says that Stephanie should go check on Shane, which apparently she couldn’t figure out on her own?

We get a recap of Benoit vs. Jericho. Good grief this was intense. The video package is really well done as you can see that these two just want to go at it. It’s clear they’re the future along with Angle and the company knew it, which is always a good thing. The match is 2/3 falls by the way.

Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

You really don’t even need a story here with guys of this level, but the basic story is they don’t like each other. There it is, and I like it better that way. Who needs a big elaborate story? They knew that these two would put on a clinic so why over complicate things? They of course start hot with them both going to the corner and in a spot that you don’t often see, all three including the referee go through the ropes and crash on the floor.

That’s not something you see often but I like it. The WOO on the chops is always fun to hear. Now we get to something that I just don’t like. Benoit gets the crossface and Jericho taps in something like four minutes. Ok, now I get that it’s 2/3 falls and Jericho should want to keep the amount of damage he takes to a minimum. Heck, Lawler flat out says that it would be smart to tap here. I get that.

However, no matter how you want to say it, Benoit beat Jericho in like 4 minutes. Isn’t there some better way to do this? Couldn’t you do the first fall at like 9 minutes into the match? It’s not like this is going to be a five minute match or anything, so what’s the rush? I really don’t get that as it makes Benoit look capable of making Jericho tap with no difficulty and it makes Jericho look kind of weak.

I get the giving up quickly, but don’t make Jericho look like he has no defense at all for the hold. Rant over. Second fall starts immediately which is good as I’ve always hated the whole rest thing. This isn’t boxing. The stupidity of the end of the first fall is compounded here as Benoit immediately puts the hold back on and Jericho gets to the ropes. See what I mean? Why wouldn’t you just reverse that sequence?

He gets out the first time and then later on he can’t because his shoulder is hurting from the first time in the hold. Doesn’t that make a bit more sense? In something quite surprising, Benoit somewhat abandons psychology. They make it clear that the seconds crossface is focused more on the back, but after having that one on much longer, Benoit works on the neck and shoulder. Wouldn’t it make more sense to go after what was more injured?

I guess since he got the tap on the neck/shoulder he should go to it again, but then why would he change what got a tap in the first place? Wouldn’t it make sense that if a little pain made him tap more pain would make him tap again? Dang when did I start thinking like this? Anyway, the holds that Benoit is using here are freaking sick looking.

We get the comeback from Jericho though as he just starts throwing these big haymaker right hands. I’ve never seen him throw punches like this but they’re working for him. We get a nice wrestling sequence that ends up with Jericho getting the Liontamer, not the Walls but the Liontamer on Benoit for the tap out. These two have perhaps the most lethal looking submissions ever. Might have to have a thread about that in the near future.

This is why I like doing these threads. I get good ideas from them. They go into a fast sequence of counters and big moves, with the big one being Jericho hitting a hurricanrana from the top and after a two a lionsault but due to the shoulder he can’t cover.

They do several rollups but Benoit gets a small package near the corner and grabs the bottom rope to get the win. Apparently this was enough to get Benoit in the main event of Unforgiven, as he had just lost in the main event at Fully Loaded to Rock a month prior to this.

Rating: A. This was great stuff. The first two falls were both good enough, but they tore it up in the third one. It was exactly what you would expect from these two and it absolutely delivered on all levels. Somehow, this might not be the best that these two have had so good grief. How insane were these two, especially when you add in Kurt? Thank goodness the company got these three right.

HHH is just now arriving, so we hit the recap button on the Stephanie/Kurt interaction from earlier tonight, as well as the Smackdown kiss. This really has no bearing on anything, as we’re off to our next match.

We get the story of the three teams, which more or less is this: Edge and Christian hit the other four guys with chairs, they beat up Edge and Christian with ladders and tables, so let’s put all 6 guys and three weapons in one match and make it for the tag titles. Now you 6, go tear the freaking house down.

Tag Titles: Dudleyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

In case you didn’t get it, this is the first TLC match. Tables and ladders and chairs, oh my, for all you Wizard of Oz aficionados out there. I’ve always liked the incoming missile thing that they did for the Dudleys entrance. The glasses need to come back for Bubba too. Oh yeah this is in North Carolina, so the Hardys get a small explosion. Chairs are in play quickly. Bear with me here as I’ve never tried to do one of these, so this could be a bit tricky.

Matt just pelts the thing at Bubba which sounds sick. The opening here is just a wild brawl all around, and what else were you expecting? However, you can tell they have a lot of this planned out, and there’s not a thing wrong with that. The big spots at least make sense here, unlike some matches with gimmicks where it’s just big spot after big spot and it rarely works out that well.

In another, say it with me, SICK spot, Jeff is climbing the ladder but Edge knocks him off. Now that doesn’t sound like much, but he lands on a ladder that’s on its side, so his ribs slam into the leg of it. This sea saws the other end up which slams Matt in the face. What’s Up leads to D-Von being given a fairly famous command.

You know I’ve always wondered what would happen if D-Von pulled a Punk and just said no. “D-Von, GET THE TABLES!” No jerk. You ran out when we were at IHOP last night and I had to pay for your 14 pancakes. Get your own tables you big fat butter bal! To make room, someone picks up a ladder and just throws it at Jeff, covering him up with ladders and chairs. We get a new shout from Bubba: D-Von! We’re gonna kill them! Yeah, that’s not over the top at all.

Edge lands three of the loudest and most painful looking chair shots in a row. Those things were just freaking intense. In another huge spot, Jeff does the twenty foot swanton and of course, misses. Edge is a freaking master with those chairs. Bubba is sent through four tables, leaving E/C alone to get the belts. However, Lita sprints to ringside and shoves them both off.

After various other amounts of destruction, including Edge just laying Lita out with a freaking great spear, Jeff and D-Von go up, but the ladder goes out and they’re stuck hanging there. D-Von goes down, so Edge and Christian more or less harpoon him with a ladder, then climb up and get the belts to retain. Kind of a not great ending, but DANG. Bubba is screwed up bad.

Rating: A-. This was a wild mess of a match, but dang. These six knew what they had to do and they nailed it. It was a wild match with all kinds of crazy bumps and wild spots. The scariest thing of all: this will be blown away in April by TLC 2. If you don’t get excited watching this, I feel you’re no longer alive.

Since we haven’t seen enough of this one story tonight, HHH is yelling at Stephanie about the kiss. You know, Rock hasn’t even been mentioned tonight. This is why the one on one would have been better and then find someone else to plug into the main event. Maybe do the fatal fourway that they did next month here. Oh yeah Steph says the kiss meant nothing.

Oh and since we just had an amazing match, let’s completely kill the momentum.

Stinkface Match: Kat vs. Terri

Yes, you win by sticking your thong in the other girl’s face, and yes, it’s as bad as it sounds. Kat, who was married to Lawler in real life but was released soon thereafter, comes out with Al Snow for no apparent reason to a weak version of Sable’s music. Terri comes out with Saturn and just strips on the way in.  You know what? Screw this. This is stupid and it’s not worth my time. Kat wins.

Rating: F-. I’m not 12 years old. This means nothing to me, and it was a complete waste of time. They couldn’t give the tag titles an extra five minutes, but they can do this. Unbelievable.

APA is in WWF New York as bartenders. That would just be cool to do.

Recap of Taker and Kane. This just amuses me. It started with Kane saving Taker from Benoit, which good night I would have loved to see a real feud between those two. Anyway, within seconds of Kane saving him, he turns heel and beats up Taker. For some reason, this amazes JR and Cole. Why? Why does that amaze you?

It’s not like HE DOES THAT EVERY TIME HE UNITES WITH TAKER or anything like that. These two fight more often than Sly and I do, and nothing is ever resolved. Anyway, of course we have this match here tonight. Oh and Kane beat up Taker with a chair a few days ago or something.

Undertaker vs. Kane

Taker is the American Tough Guy here and comes out first which is a little weird. His pop is insane to put it mildly. Taker just goes down the aisle and fights him early. Based on the commentary, you know this is going to be short. I wonder if one of them was hurt. In something almost weird for some reason, Taker is going for the mask. As JR says, has anyone ever done that? Not that I remember at least.

I guess it’s no holds barred as Kane brings in a chair and nothing happens. The announcers touch on this as they say the referee has said he’s just going to let them go, That kind of makes sense, as it’s not like he can do anything to either guy to stop them. Taker actually gets about half of Kane’s mask off. Kane messes up and slams the stairs into his own face, followed by Taker just picking them up and throwing the stairs at Kane, which is more or less impossible to fake.

Kane is bleeding bad after the stairs. By bad I mean terribly fake looking as the blood is closer to pink than red. Taker with a freaking spear, and actually a pretty good one. They both set for a chokeslam but Taker just kicks him in the balls. He rips the mask off and Kane runs, ending this…match? His long hair and hand covers it up. Taker’s music plays as JR asks if the bell ever rang.

Rating: B. I LOVED this. It was more or less a long segment, but who cares? This was just Taker being ticked off, and when that happens, it works very well. At the end of it Kane was just getting beaten up and Taker looked awesome. This is what it should have been and it went off well. It’s not like they were trying to top Mania 14, and they shouldn’t have.

Kurt is in the back, not in wrestling gear which is bad because his match is next. He calls someone, and we cut to HHH and Stephanie. Of course the phone rings and Stephanie pretends it’s Linda. HHH asks to talk to her, but “Linda” hangs up. Stephanie looks like a goddess in the graphic to put it mildly.

We get the same recap that we’ve seen five times tonight, so I won’t bother with the story all over again.

WWF Title: Rock vs. HHH vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is dressed in record time and weighs in at 229lbs. That’s light even for him. He says that he’s sorry he didn’t kiss her earlier. As he’s known for doing, he puts his foot in his mouth and says that he gave Stephanie more passion that HHH ever could. HHH comes out and to say he’s mad is the understatement of the millennium. They start without Rock, or I should say HHH starts without him.

Rock is smart and doesn’t come out for a few minutes. They hit the announce table and HHH sets for a Pedigree, but the table breaks early and Angle is legit hurt. It’s worse than Lesnar’s face was after the shooting star. I mean he is gone. HHH pulls the hammer but he can’t hit him, IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLll What the Rock is cooking! That music is just freaking awesome.

Since Kurt is injured, we pretty much have Rock vs. HHH, which has been the main event all summer, so it’s not like this is a bad thing. HHH beats Rock down just a bit and runs after the EMTs who are taking Angle out on a stretcher to beat on him a bit more. Rock sprints down the aisle and perhaps literally saves Kurt. They brawl back to the ring and Stephanie comes out to check on Kurt.

Stephanie, clad in ridiculously tight leather pants, comes down and gets yelled at by HHH. She runs over to grab the belt and lands a running slap to the timekeeper that is just hilarious to say the least. She misses and hits HHH though. Seriously, that running slap was GREAT. It just came off as hilarious on about 1000 levels. Game comes back with a low blow though, and that’s the end of my rhyming.

Lawler makes a nose joke about HHH which just seems out of place here. Sister Sledge comes back into play here, as HHH nails Rock with it in the ribs. JR has a small seizure about the hammer as he just shouts and shouts some more. After about eight minutes of these two nearly killing each other, we cut to Stephanie and Kurt in the back with her begging him to come save HHH. If they somehow faked that, I’d be amazed to say the least.

Although, Rock coming out at that exact second is a bit fishy. I’d think he’s legit hurt, but I guess there’s a slight chance that it was fake. They come back out again, with a great shot of Stephanie’s figure. For about the 5th time in this match, HHH looks backwards to see if Kurt is there for his spot and it’s really getting bad. It’s so painfully obvious that it’s sad. Angle either wasn’t hurt or it wasn’t nearly as bad as they thought, or he’s completely nuts. He’s staggering all over the place.

The more I look at Kurt the more I think he was just shaken up. He’s moving around better every second and is doing moves that you’d need a lot of mental capacity to do. It’s him and Rock at the moment until HHH saves Angle from being pinned from a Rock Bottom. Stephanie gets back in again after Kurt brings a hammer back in to cause JR to need his medicine. HHH misses a punch and nails Steph, so Kurt nails him with the hammer.

Rock knocks Angle outside and lands the Elbow to retain. He grabs the belt and leaves, posing on the Summerslam set as Angle carries Stephanie out to end the show. Angle would take the title from Rock two months later and hold it until No Way Out.

Rating: B. This was a fine match, as it was mainly HHH vs. Rock, which is always solid. I’m still not sure if Angle was hurt or not, but if he wasn’t then he deserves a raise. This was good enough, but I’m not sure if it’s good enough to be a main event of a major show. I stand by what I said about how it should have been Angle vs. HHH and maybe Rock vs. Taker or Kane as that angle was thrown together in about 10 days. Either way, this was fine.

BUT WAIT!

My version has a post show segment in studio with Coach, so I’ll throw this in as a bonus. Coach, with more hair on his head and less on his face, is going through all of the matches in a highlight package and introducing some of the wrestlers for interviews. Cool.

RTC says they had fun censoring Too Cool, including a Bull Buchanan speech, which is interesting, as he has a thick southern accent. Richards clearly should have been the only one to talk.

Coach doesn’t like RTC. He skips X-Pac and Road Dogg for no apparent reason and jumps to the IC match.

Chyna and Eddie are both happy that she’s the champion and she couldn’t do it without Eddie. This would lead to a pretty simple yet decent angle with them semi feuding over th belt.

Tazz says that the path of rage is coming back. Actually that’s not true as he was turned face very soon.

Coach doesn’t like Tazz.

Blackman actually cuts a promo, saying that the belt is back around his waist when it’s on his shoulder, and that Shane walked away, when he was actually stretchered out. And we wonder why he wasn’t allowed to talk.

Benoit says that he has made his point.

Coach doesn’t like Benoit but he respects him.

Recap of TLC, which is just sweet all over.

Edge and Christian say they’ll be ok. They actually sound like they lost if you just listen to their words.

Women’s match. Moving on.

Taker says he’s the big dog in the yard, which became a semi catchphrase for him. He tells Kane to never cross him again, leaves, and then comes back to swear. That’s just comical.

Finally, we recap the main event. No interviews here.

I liked this actually. It’s perfect for a home video as it offers a little bonus reason to buy the tape with the exclusive interviews. It’s a nice little addition and it’s only about 10 minutes long, so it’s not bogged down. I like it.

Overall Rating: A. This is a VERY good show, and bordering on classic. The only thing possibly is the main event, which likely should have been Rock vs. HHH or HHH vs. Angle for the title with Rock doing something else. Either way, the show rocks all around with only the women’s match being terrible.

Other than that, everything is good to great. Definitely a big time recommendation here as it was just flat out awesome. Find a copy of this and watch it all, as only about 5 minutes is bad. GREAT show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Vengeance 2003: A Triple Threat I Actually Like

Vengeance 2003
Date: July 27, 2003
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Attendance: 9,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

So we’re into the whole individual brand PPVs here and this is a Smackdown one. The main things here are another triple threat with Angle, Lesnar and Show and in what today would be a main event of Mania in Cena vs. Taker. Oh and the finals of the tournament for the US Title which was brought back due to people realizing how stupid the whole one brand one champion thing was. We also have Zach Gowen vs. Vince. I’m riveted too. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about wanting to succeed from when you were a kid. People like Angle, Lesnar and Stephanie talk about this. It’s one of those shows isn’t it? Vince says tonight is about control. He’s backing Big Show apparently.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero

This is the final of a tournament so I’d bet on a great match. This is the first Smackdown exclusive PPV according to Cole, so it’s likely the 8th or 9th. Pretty sure Eddie is heel here but he’s popular anyway. They won’t shake hands either. Eddie sprayed wax in Benoit’s eyes or something like that on Smackdown. Benoit beat Matt Hardy and Rikishi. Eddie beat Ultimo Dragon and Billy Gunn.

Yeah the Smackdown show wasn’t much at the time but there was no way these two wouldn’t be the finalists so there you are. They’re going slow here which means they’ve got a lot of time to work with. We get a nice little pinfall reversal sequence which is old but always fun. Eddie wants to shine apparently. I don’t know if he can shine but if he lets certain vampires bite him he could sparkle.

Eddie goes for a tombstone but Benoit counters then shows why he’s brilliant by making it a shoulder breaker. Immediately after that he goes for the Crossface. And that is why Benoit is better than your favorite wrestler. His finishing move is a shoulder hold and he works on the shoulder. There would be no point in him working on the leg or whatever. It’s why Flair works the knee all the time: his finishing move works on the knee. How come so few wrestlers get that? It boggles my mind. Truly it does.

The announcers talk about technical difficulties but I didn’t notice anything wrong. Benoit’s tights saying Toothless Aggression always cracked me up. A top rope belly to back gets two for Benoit. Nice looking one too. It’s always weird hearing Sting mentioned on WWF TV. Crossface goes on but Eddie gets the ropes. Both go for their triple suplexes but the third is countered both times. Frog Splash mostly misses but Eddie’s arm hits Benoit so there’s some damage both ways.

Crossface is hooked again. I love that move. Naturally the referee goes down. Why does that always have to happen? It’s rather aggravating. Benoit gets popped in the head and takes a Frog Splash but it only gets two. That’s rather surprising. And now he hits the referee with the belt and puts it on Benoit before laying down. Ok, why not just hit Benoit like four times with it and wait on the referee to get up since now the ref is out cold. With no referee, Eddie taps to the Crossface.

Is there a reason why the referee is holding his neck when he got hit in the back? Eddie pulls the referee into the diving headbutt so he’s dead again. And here’s Rhyno who was teaming with Benoit around this time to turn heel and gore him. ANOTHER Frog Splash gives Eddie the US Title.

Rating: B+. This was better until we had all the overbooking. These two simply knew how to have great matches and this was no exception. Eddie winning is a nice surprise as he was a step behind Benoit at this point and likely needed it more than Benoit did. Still though, EXCELLENT opener and I liked it a lot. Giving these two over twenty minutes is just a good idea.

Vince and Stephanie have a weird moment. Stephanie simply cannot act and it’s just hilarious watching her try. This has to be the highlight of the show.

We recap Billy Gunn vs. Jamie Noble. Noble wants to sleep with Torrie so he offers to pay her for sex. Billy was with Torrie for his 847th push. If Noble beats Billy, Torrie will sleep with him on Smackdown. If Billy wins…nothing happens. Anyone else failing to see the point here?

Billy Gunn vs. Jamie Noble

Jamie brings a briefcase with his “stuff” in it. They actually open it which is creepy. Jamie’s girlfriend Nidia comes out and is mad at him over this clearly. See the criticisms of soap opera stuff that WWE gets? Noble works on his knee so his regular stuff can’t work. Gunn busts out a random Diamond Cutter for two. Didn’t see that one coming. Noble hooks a DDT from the second rope. I liked that.

Nidia puts his foot on the ropes though since she doesn’t want Torrie sleeping with Noble. That makes sense at least. Both girls beat him up. Billy gets rammed into Torrie and gets rolled up for the pin. Torrie says Holy crap and it’s rather amusing. Cole shouting NOBLE GETS TO SLEEP WITH TORRIE cracked me up. He wants to watch. Oh dear.

Rating: D. Bad match on top of a bad angle doesn’t help. Naturally it didn’t happen and Noble and Gunn started teaming together because it’s professional wrestling and of course it doesn’t make sense. Torrie looked hot though so I can’t complain much there. Still though, stupid angle and a stupid match.

Funaki is with the APA. We go back to Thursday to see the Brooklyn Brawler beating up the APA. It’s to set up the bar room brawl here in a second. The Easter Bunny hops by. I’m not making that up and I’m totally sober.

Bar Room Brawl

Shannon Moore, Doink the Clown, Faarooq, Bradshaw, Brother Love, Nunzio, Matt Hardy, Chris Kanyon, Danny Basham, Doug Basham, The Easter Bunny, Sean O’Haire, John Hennigan, Orlando Jordan, Funaki, Los Conquistadores, The Brooklyn Brawler, Johnny Stamboli, Chuck Palumbo, Matt Cappotelli, and Spanky.

There’s a bar set up in the arena and we’re just going to fight in there. Los Conquistadores are Rob Conway and Johnny Jeter in case you’re wondering. Aaron Stevens is the Easter Bunny. He was on Smackdown for a cup of coffee as Idol Stevens in like 05 or 06. McCool managed him. John Hennigan is more commonly known as John Morrison, and this Doink is played by Nick “Eugene” Dinsmore.

In essence, this is a big OVW party as a ton of these guys were in OVW at the time. Most of the jobbers don’t get intros. Spanky is up on the bar dancing. Bradshaw says the rules are that the last man drinking wins as we’re testing the toughness and their livers. Ok that’s creative. Brother Love wants to pray before we start. Naturally it’s just a massive fight with no rhyme or reason to it. The Easter Bunny is drinking bears and getting punched. This is wrong.

O’Haire beats the APA up with pool cues. This is idiotic. Brother Love beats up Shannon Moore. I’d think that sums up why no one buys him. The Easter Bunny goes through a window. A bunny watching this would be traumatized for life. Hardy can’t break a table which is kind of funny.

There’s nothing of any kind of logic going on here at all. Funaki passes out from beer. Bradshaw beats up Brother Love and I guess that gives him the win. He’s the last man standing even though Farroorq is standing next to him.

Rating: N/A. This was a waste of about 5 minutes. Moving on.

Jamie Noble is looking at Torrie’s Playboy and brags about getting to sleep with her. This is creepy.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Rey is Cruiserweight Champion here too. The heels’ name is just great. The fans chant USA for four Americans. Ok then. Haas keeps beating Rey. This is kind of strange to see. Rey was still just the king of the cruiserweights at this point and not yet the A-list guy that he would become better known as. Kidman gets the hot tag and not much happens because of it. The 619 is blocked and my intelligence is spared for a little bit.

Kidman busts out a Shooting Star Press to the floor to take out the champions. Rey gets the other hot tag but the referee is distracted. The crowd boos the heck out of that. Wow I’m surprised they’re so into this one. Hardly a bad thing but very surprising. Rey comes in and cleans house. What kind of an expression is that anyway? Rey isn’t dusting and vacuuming but it makes perfect sense to call it that.

What sense does that make? Haas takes the 619 and the seated senton. Benjamin kicks Rey in the head for two. Solid match here. In a sweet spot, Haas is on top and Kidman launches Rey up to the top for a hurricanrana. AWESOME looking and the crowd loses it when he kicks out.

Dragon Whip, which is an awesome name, puts Kidman down. With Kidman on the floor, Benjamin gets a tag that Rey doesn’t see while Rey is on Haas’ shoulders. Benjamin hits a springboard clothesline to combine with the powerbomb for the pin. Sweet ending.

Rating: B+. Very fun and flat out surprising win here. This is what happens when you let guys have time and show off: It flat out works. They were all over the place and got the fans into it. Great match and fun.

Cole uses the term Cole Miners here. It’s older than I thought.

We see Stephanie ripping Sable’s top off on Smackdown.

Stephanie McMahon vs. Sable

Vince was having an affair with Sable and all of Smackdown had become about them. Yeah I’m shocked too. For some reason this is no count out. That’s just an odd stipulation. This is a catfight, whatever that means. Sable is freaking gorgeous. Stephanie was at a weird stage here and it didn’t work that well for her. We’re in the crowd already. Stephanie actually gets a half decent rollup. I’m surprised.

She goes off on Sable as well as she can and Sable tries to run. That obviously doesn’t work either. Stephanie actually busts out the Mr. Perfect neck snap. WOW. She goes off on Sable in the corner and winds up ripping part of her top off. The referee rips his shirt off for her to put on. And here’s A-Train of all people to flatten Stephanie so Sable can win. Ok then.

Rating: D. This was WAY better than it had any right to be. That being said, it still sucked. They just weren’t going to have a good match no matter what they did, although Stephanie was certainly trying so I can’t fault her for that at all. Not any good at all but they tried so I can give them points there.

We recap Cena vs. Taker. In short, Cena says he’s awesome. Taker says not so fast. It’s about respect apparently. Cena issued an open challenge and Orlando Jordan took him up on it. Cena had to cheat to win. Oh dear. Taker respected Jordan. Oh dear. Seeing Cena this young talking to Taker is rather interesting.

Oh and Taker cost Cena a match in the US Title Tournament. I remember some of these promos. Cena had that spark in him even back then. He was going to be a star and would start doing so soon enough. He’d be a face by November.

The Undertaker vs. John Cena

Amazing to see this as a midcard match on a relatively meaningless PPV. This is still biker Taker obviously. I still love that theme music he had back then though. Cole says for eleven plus years Taker has dominated. It’s so plus that it’s over twelve and approaching thirteen at this point. Cena is less muscular than he would become, but to be fair seven years have almost passed since this match happened.

I’d think he’s been to a gym since then. Cena slaps Taker. What do you think happens next? Taker LAUNCHES Cena into the corner and it’s just weird to see Cena get dominated like this. Cena gets some water and spits it into Taker’s eyes to take over. That lasts less than four seconds. Cena haters would LOVE this match. They completely rip apart one of the barriers. That’s a bit odd looking. I think Cena’s leg is bleeding. That’s an odd injury to have.

Taker uses some MMA stuff as Taz points out. This is pure domination. Cena has hit a total of like 3 punches, none of which have done anything. HUGE chokeslam hits but Taker picks up his limp body. Last Ride is countered and Cena hits a DDT to survive. This is just an odd style of match. It’s not exactly bad but at the same time it’s just strange. In a HILARIOUS moment, Cena is counted for choking but yells at the ref that he has until five. TAKE THAT DANIELSON.

Cena gets a pad down and Taker hits it to get us close to even. Cena has always been good at absorbing offense. Crowd is all over him. Taker starts coughing up blood. Taz thinks tasting your own blood isn’t good. THANKS TAZ. I never would have guessed that bleeding is a bad thing without you. Taker hooks a Dragon Sleeper which he was using for awhile around this time. Taker comes back and hits the WORST jumping clothesline ever. It was more like a hopping clothesline.

They get sloppy with the punches and the choking stuff. My guess would be they’re calling spots but it KILLS the crowd and looks terrible. Cena pops Taker’s bad ribs with the biker chain. This is a LONG match. Well, long for these two at this point in their career that is. The FU hits and Taker kicks out. Cena then shows his idiocy and does the ten punches in the corner and pauses to yell at the crowd. You know what comes next as Taker gets the pin off the Last Ride.

Rating: C+. I liked it, but I could see a lot of people not liking it. The booking was odd. Like really odd. Cena was treated like a jobber for the first 5 minutes or so but hit all of his big stuff and got…nothing. Come to think of it this wasn’t that good. I get the whole take Taker to the limit, but Cena got soundly beaten here which I don’t think is what should have happened. He looked good, but he needed the big win here and didn’t get it. Could have been better but it wasn’t bad.

Cole has a really stupid mustache at this time. Yeah I really can’t stand him.

We recap Gowen vs. Vince. In short, Gowen has one leg and is wrestling. Vince, being evil, tortured him. No one had an issue with this being the storyline on Smackdown that was getting the most airtime after Vince and Sable. Not a lot of people liked this era at all. Oh and they put Gowen over Show on Smackdown. Ok to be fair Angle and Lesnar helped but still.

Vince McMahon vs. Zach Gowen

For the life of me I have never gotten the point of this angle at all. At least Gowen had a good Seether song for his theme music. Vince dominates early on to the shock of no one. Gowen busted out an Asai Moonsault. His character and angle was annoying but to say it’s impressive is an understatement. One of the interesting things here is that Zach is like 150lbs so it’s like wrestling a woman as far as the weight goes.

Vince beats the heck out of him for a long time including a Boston Crab. Again, I don’t get the point to this but it’s Vince in the ring so what do you expect? Gowen makes his comeback and very few people care. Zach goes up top and hits a bulldog. When I say hit I mean miss and when I say bulldog I mean his arm almost touches the back of Vince’s head.

This just isn’t as impressive, but we get it: he can wrestle on one leg. He doesn’t need 15 minutes to prove it. We get a chair and Vince gets beaten with it and bleeds. Oh dang he’s bleeding a lot. Gowen misses a moonsault and Vince pins him. Yeah seriously that’s the ending. Gowen stands in the ring and gets cheered. Mostly at least but there’s a good deal of booing in there.

Rating: C-. The problem here became evident very quickly: yes, we know he can wrestle on one leg, but after that the appeal goes away and it gets stupid. It’s cool to see, but it gets old fast. If this is cut in half time wise, it’s FAR better and one of the coolest matches ever. It’s still cool and impressive, but this went on too long. Decent match though but the ending sucked.

Josh Matthews, looking stupider than he does now, talks to Eddie and says what happened to Benoit is Benoit’s fault.

We recap Brock vs. Angle vs. Show. Brock and Angle respect each other and Show is really big and strong and gets beaten up a lot by both of them. Brock came and visited him in the hospital apparently.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Ok so if Show is knocked out for most of this it should be good. This was around the time where Brock was completely awesome and could do no wrong. This is no DQ also. When has a triple threat not been no DQ? Show is in the singlet and shorts now which are perfectly acceptable. Angle and Lesnar work together but Lesnar takes a chokeslam a minute in. Angle was at the point here where he could get a good match out of anyone and he’s showing why here.

Angle busts out some garbage can lids and they beat the tar out of Big Show with them. All three of these guys are just SCARY strong. They manage a double chokeslam. Ok, that was cool. And there’s an F5 to Angle. And there’s one for Show. That never ceases to amaze me, and that doesn’t happen often. Angle gets beaten down on the floor and we get Brock vs. Show. Brock looks more awesome with the elbow pads. Brock gets a running powerbomb out of the corner. WOW.

Angle comes back in and pops the heck out of Brock with a chair. Angle is getting into that zone. Oh and he’s bleeding. It’s table time and Taz makes me laugh by saying about the Spanish announcers “You would think they’d be used to it by now.” That was good. Angle Slam through the table. The announcers point out that it might have been stupid to knock him out on the floor though which is very true. Brock is bleeding now and we have him vs. Angle. This works.

Other than Benoit, Lesnar brings out the best in Angle and that’s saying a lot. After a little bit of them beating the tar out of each other, Brock locks in a body scissors and a chokeout similar to a Tazmission actually. Even Taz points that out. Show comes in for a double chokeslam and actually gets Lesnar with the left arm higher than Angle with the right arm. Since that doesn’t work, Angle comes back with Angle Slams for both and gets the pin on Brock. Very good match to close the show.

Rating: A-. I’m not big on triple threats but this was great. Brock and Angle are just freaking fun to see beat the tar out of each other since Brock could keep up with Angle on the mat and Angle could match Brock’s strength for the most part. Big Show was solid here too which made this just a great match all around. Very fun match and well worth seeing.

Overall Rating: A-. This was a GREAT show. There’s one boring match on the whole show and it has Torrie at ringside and is five minutes long. Other than that you get a great opener, a great tag match and a great main event. Seriously, what more could you ask for from a show?

Even the bar room thing had some comedy value to it. This worked on a lot of levels and is well worth finding. You could see the entertainment on Raw vs. the wrestling on Smackdown which is still around today being born here and it worked great. Well worth watching.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




No Way Out 2004: When All Else Fails, Give Them More Eddie

No Way Out 2004
Date: February 15, 2004
Location: Cow Palace, San Francisco, California
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re into the brand only shows now and this is Smackdown. It’s also a very famous one as the main event is Brock vs. Eddie for the title and I think you know how that goes. Other than that this is a card looks pretty awful as there is the obvious problem of developing a PPV out of one roster’s worth of talent: you get a few matches that aren’t interesting at all and couldn’t be more clearly filler if they walked up to you with a big sign that said HEY I’M FILLER and shouted “HEY I’M FILLER!” Let’s get to it.

With no intro video or anything like that here are Torrie and Sable who were doing something close to a lesbian thing soon. They’re both in Playboy this month. Apparently there’s nothing they won’t do and then they leave. Wow this was pointless.

Now we get the intro video as Brock is all evil but leaving in a month anyway so he doesn’t care. Goldberg is on the horizon for him so who do you think has a front row seat tonight? Eddie says he’s been here before after his familia turned on him. This was built up almost as a glorified squash with Eddie having next to no chance against the unstoppable machine who has one quick match left before his showdown with Goldberg.

Who thought Cow Palace was a good name for an arena anyway?

Smackdown Tag Titles: Basham Brothers/Shaniqua vs. Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty

The non Bashams have the titles here. The challengers have Shaniqua, the Tough Enough 2 winner Linda Miles, as their future dominatrix manager. Oh apparently this is a 3 on 2 handicap match for the belts. Using the Mania 5 formula apparently. Scotty and a Basham start. They’re almost identical and it was hard to tell them apart in OVW too. Ok that’s Doug. Never mind as Cole is confused so it’s Danny.

My uncles are named Doug and Danny so I always liked this team. Scotty botches a headscissors and half kills Danny and the fat man comes in. Rikishi was supposed to be like this big powerful veteran or something at this point. I guess he was REALLY sorry for the whole vehicular homicide attempt thing a few years ago. Fat man vs. Doug at this point.

Rikishi brings in Shaniqua and she almost gets a Stinkface. Basically Rikishi is destroying everything in sight but Scotty can’t do much of anything. Classic formula but I’m not a fan of anyone in this other than the name of the Bashams so I’m not really into it. NICE nip up as Scotty was very crisp there. Shaniqua bashes (see what I did there?) Scotty as he’s going for the Worm and he’s in trouble again.

She comes in and beats up Scotty a bit as she was an Amazon kind of chick. It’s kind of amusing to see a guy like Scotty getting beaten up rather easily like that. Double teaming prevents the tag to Rikishi which makes sense. A backdrop gets Scotty the tag and the thong wearing Samoan cleans house. The Bashams save Shaniqua from a Banzai Drop with a powerbomb for two. Scotty clears out the Bashams, allowing a Samoan Drop and Banzai to end the girl.

Rating: D+. This was fine. No one cared and the ending was rarely in doubt, but it was fine. This is your standard TV match or PPV tag title defense. It says a lot when those are almost interchangeable. This wasn’t horrible and the fans were into the faces so that’s about all you could ask for I guess.

Goldberg isn’t here yet. How do you know he’s not getting some aardvark at the concession stand?

We recap Nidia vs. Noble. Noble got some inheritance so the trailer park couple start spending a ton of it. Nidia spent more of it but was blinded by black mist from Tajiri, which somehow led us to a blindfold match tonight. Oh ok she can see now but Nidia gets to see.

Jamie Noble vs. Nidia

See what I mean about a lack of PPV level matches? Nidia hits the floor early on and Jamie pulls the hood off. I smell a bad comedy match. She pulls his jean shorts down and gets a bulldog for two. The vast majority of this match is Nidia kicking him in the rump and dancing behind him. She goes up, he lifts the hood, slams her off the top and throws on a dragon sleeper to end this.

Rating: F. Total comedy match here that was dull beyond belief. Again you can see how bad the whole individual brand PPVs were with stuff like this on PPV. Nothing match here.

We recap Angle’s attack by someone, either Show or Cena who he has a triple threat with tonight. Angle talks a bit about wanting to go to Mania. Cena the rapper comes up and rhymes a bit, naturally starting a brawl.

Only a four week build between No Way Out and Mania? Really?

World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. APA

Bradshaw has a bad arm. Both of these teams would split up in less than six weeks. It’s weird hearing about Heat being on Spike TV. Shelton immediately takes Farrooq down to the mat as it’s technical vs. power here. Wow it’s hard to believe Bradshaw was six months from being world champion and would hold it for the better part of a year.

The heels work over Farrooq’s arm as I guess they want the APA to match. Hot tag finally gets Bradshaw in as I wonder how many of these tags are actually hot. BIG powerbomb from Bradshaw gets two. Farrooq eats post outside as Bradshaw hits a fall away slam off the top on Shelton for two. Clothesline From JBL with the bad arm and Shelton hits a big superkick to end it.

Rating: D+. Another TV level match here that was just ok. Basic power vs. speed match here which wasn’t anything that bad but it wasn’t worth paying to see I wouldn’t think. With both teams splitting so soon after this, the winners due to the Draft and Farrooq retiring, this wasn’t really of any importance at all. Not bad though, but I could see this same match on a house show probably.

Goldberg is here. I can’t blame him for missing those first two matches.

We recap Lesnar vs. Goldberg. Goldberg was #30 in the Rumble and Lesnar thought he was more important than Goldberg and was mad that Bill was being interviewed so he ran in and eliminated Goldberg who was dominating the match. Austin gave Goldberg a ticket to the show and said don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.

Heyman, who Goldberg speared which got him suspended I believe, is here now. If you’re keeping track, the two wrestlers this segment is about and the two teams in the previous match would mean nothing just after Mania. Heyman says if Goldberg does anything he’s going to jail. Here’s Brock who is reminded that he tapped out which I think was to Benoit.

He’s not scared of Goldberg and says let’s do it right now. Goldberg jumps the rail and there go the shirts. Lesnar dominates early but the F5 is blocked and Goldberg gets the Jackhammer as Heyman screams for security. Handcuffs go on and Goldberg has no issue leaving. Hardcore Holly, who HATES Lesnar comes down to try to get a piece but to no avail.

Hardcore Holly vs. Rhyno

Nice timing if nothing else. This was set up three days ago so there’s no real story other than it’s a rematch after Rhyno couldn’t beat him. Holly sends Rhyno to the floor. Can Rhyno get back in it? Find out when we ret…..this isn’t a TV show is it? I almost forgot. Body scissors by Rhyno as this is a very boring match so far.

Rhyno works the ribs to set up for the Gore later on. Why not just hit it now as it’s going to do more damage to the ribs than whatever else you have. We throw it to the Spanish announce team for no adequately explored reason which is WWE’s custom. After hearing the commentary in Spanish for a bit, it occurs to me that it was the most interesting part of this match.

Perfect as always dropkick by Holly gets two. Middle rope suplex by Rhyno gets the same. The fans seem to be booing a bit here and I can’t say I blame them. Reverse DDT gets two for Holly as we have to be getting close to the ending here. BIG Gore hits but Hardcore hits the floor. That gave me a very disturbing image of him dancing badly. Again it’s more interesting than this match though. And then he gets back in and hits the Alabama Slam to end it. As abrupt as it sounds.

Rating: D. Technically this was ok but it was a ten minute Hardcore Holly vs. Rhyno on pay per view. After this it’s more or less all good from here but the first hour of this was pretty brutal. Not a horrible in ring match but just couldn’t be less interesting if they were trying to be.

Ad for the Monday Night Wars DVD which is definitely recommended. Brisco saying “It was our jobs, it was our lives, it was our families” might be the most overblown line in WWE DVD history.

We recap Chavo vs. Rey. Chavo turned heel out of jealousy of Eddie and since Eddie and Rey are the same person, Rey defended Chavo after Eddie went on to a bigger feud. Rey has some unknown boxer with him and Chavo has his father, Chavo Guerrero Senior who would soon win the Cruiserweight Title.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Rey has the title here. The lights go out before the introductions and a gong strikes. A Taker video airs and says that in 28 days, the dead will rise. Kane had helped to bury Taker at Survivor Series and he would become the Dead Man again at Mania. This is back when Rey was just the best Cruiserweight of all time rather than the biggest underdog ever. There’s something about Rey not respecting his culture too so Chavo wants the mask, which is a big symbol of Hispanic wrestling culture. Go figure.

He goes for the mask almost immediately which of course fails. We hit the mat for awhile where Chavo dominates for the most part as you would expect. Rey gets up and gets a springboard off the bottom rope which the commentators point out how odd it is. Chavo Senior stops another springboard and gets knocked out by Paez who is promptly thrown out.

HUGE dive by Rey to take out Junior as he checks on his father. Well deserved holy schiess chant as the dime is dropped for two. Tornado DDT is blocked and we head to the corner. Chavo blocks a rana into Malenko’s middle rope gutbuster and Rey is in big trouble. Chavo shows some intelligence by going for the ribs now. He wastes a lot of time though but it doesn’t seem to matter that much.

Rey gets a counter for two as the fans are right back into this now. Another gutbuster has Rey in trouble again though so scratch the whole momentum thing. This match is going on for a LONG time. I’ll give them this though: they’re treating it like a big match which is exactly what they needed to do more often. Rey gets something similar to the Stroke for two.

He gets a DDT onto the apron which always looks awesome. Sitout Gordbuster by Chavo gets two though and it’s Rey in trouble again. Chavo goes for the mask for the second time in about 15 minutes but of course it doesn’t work. Rey TOTALLY misses a moonsault press to the point that Chavo has to run forward to get any contact for Rey. 619 hits but the seated senton is countered into a SICK looking half crab but Rey gets the rope.

It’s not often that a Cruiserweight Title match gets almost seventeen minutes. Rey goes for a springboard move of some sort but Chavo Senior comes out again and shoves Rey off so that Chavo Junior can get a rollup for the pin. Good thing he came out just as the referee wasn’t looking eh?

Rating: B. Solid match here but at times it dragged a bit. This was still very solid with two legit cruiserweights getting to show what they could do. More or less though this was the last gasp of awesomeness of the title though as it would just get stupid after this with Jacqueline and Chavo Senior winning the belt at various times. Very solid match though and it worked.

Ad for Foley’s Greatest Hits and Misses.

Chavo talks about how awesome he is and says Eddie isn’t a champion. Eddie is an addict apparently.

We see a tale of the tape for the #1 contenders’ match with Cena’s career highlight being a PH.D in Thuganomics. That’s rather funny. He’s never won anything yet he could get a world title shot at Mania.

Kurt Angle vs. Big Show vs. John Cena

Show is US Champion at this point. He also has hair at this point which is just hard to get used to. Cena gets the biggest reaction as he’s full on into the rapper gimmick at this point. Cena cuts a short rap which would get him suspended today as it’s mainly gay jokes. Cena has the black shorts on so you know he means business here.

Cena chills in the corner while the other guys fight it out. Show is of course the ultra dominant guy here as he was at the best part of his worthless period here. Everyone stands off in a corner at one point here. Angle gets a belly to belly but Show makes the save. Cena gets knocked to the floor and has a bad knee apparently.

This is a slow paced match but it’s not that bad. Granted we’re not even five minutes into it so it’s a bit difficult to say if it’s good or not so far. Angle tries to German show off the apron but settles for a low blow instead. More or less it’s Cena vs. Angle now which is probably the best possible option for this set of guys. Rolling Germans have Cena in big trouble as he hits about three of them.

Show gets back to break up the pin which works better as instead of sitting around on the floor for like 5 minutes off a single move he was back in a reasonable amount of time. Cena has a big old brace on his knee. Angle is the guy on the floor this time and we see some of Cena’s tenacity here. And so much for that as Show gets a huge suplex for two. Cena gets a dropkick to the knee (move #6 for those of you counting) as Angle adds a missile dropkick to get the big man down.

FU hits Show with relative ease. Love Cena or hate him, he is SCARY strong. Angle takes Cena down though so all three are on the mat. Angle Slam gets two on Show as he kicks out of the FU and Angle Slam in less than a minute. FU to Angle is blocked into the ankle lock but Show chokeslams the heck out of him. No cover though as Cena rolls him up for two.

Chokeslam to Cena as all this is happening in like three minutes. Ankle Lock to Show and he’s in trouble now. Cena takes Angle down and hits the 5 Knuckle Shuffle which is just a punch after hitting the ropes without the You Can’t See Me aspect, making it far less annoying. Show sends him into the post but Angle gets the Slam on Show over the top and actually makes Cena TAP OUT to the ankle lock. Didn’t see that coming.

Rating: B. This was a rather solid triple threat with very few down spots and Show actually moving out there. Cena would get the US Title shot at Mania and win in the opener. This was good stuff though and one of the better triple threats that I can remember seeing. Angle’s power was scary here with him just throwing people all over the place and Cena not being far behind. The tap out surprises me very much though as I don’t remember Cena ever tapping. Good match if not very good.

Ad for WWE Originals which was the wrestlers singing their own songs. Guess how well that went.

Mania ad which was a rather good show if I remember correctly.

Tale of the Tape for the WWE Title match says Eddie is going to get massacred.

Eddie won a Royal Rumble on Smackdown to get the shot which was a legit surprise as Angle was the other finalist and Eddie won completely clean. They played up the addiction stuff here and said that Eddie was overcoming his demons which was cool I thought. It really was a feel good story but his world title level stuff kind of came from nowhere but it was nowhere near as bad as JBL a few months later. Eddie’s line of he’ll get his high from winning the WWE Title was simple but perfect for this.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock comes out first here for some reason. Soon after this the music would change from We Lie, We Cheat, We Steal to I Lie, I Cheat, I Steal which was good I though. Fans are TOTALLY behind Eddie here which is no surprise. We have about 40 minutes left in the tape so this is getting A LOT of time. Eddie can’t do anything to start so like an idiot he keeps charging.

All Brock to start here. A rana is blocked into a powerbomb and then Brock just tosses him away as Eddie’s selling is awesome. Brock gets a big running high knee in the corner. If he had done that to Velasquez he might have the belt still. Eddie gets knocked to the floor and has had NOTHING so far. He finally gets something going as he gets Lesnar’s leg around the post and gets him down, opening a door for him.

So much for that as Brock gets a modified Fisherman’s suplex into a kind of slam for two. Jawbreaker gets him out of a rear naked choke. So I guess Eddie is better than Shane Carwin as he can escape a Lesnar choke. Eddie gets a dropkick and then gets his head taken off by a clothesline. Semi-botched German has Eddie on the brink here. Not really but I like how that sounds.

Brock goes for another knee in the corner but crashes to the floor. Eddie adds a plancha and both guys are a bit weakened now. Brock hits a hot shot to take over AGAIN. It’s been about 95% Brock so far but Eddie is hanging in there. Eddie gets a knee lock out of nowhere. Brock gets caught in a leg hold. I’m shocked too. He shifts into an STF and the fans ERUPT.

Figure four doesn’t work as Brock kicks him away. Eddie keeps him down but can’t do much as Brock just keeps firing him off. BIG belly to belly by Brock has Eddie in trouble again. A headscissors has Brock in trouble and now back to the knee. There’s the figure four and it’s not bad. After nearly a minute in the hold Brock realizes he’s next to the ropes and gets free.

More leg work as Cole speculates that Eddie could actually do this. STF again as Brock is in trouble but not for long as he just rolls out. Brock gets a big old spinebuster to take over again and locks on a bad looking crossface chicken wing. Off to a sleeper/chinlock kind of thing but here comes Eddie again, driving Brock’s face into the buckle to break it up. Missile dropkick misses though as Eddie is in trouble again. Great story being told here.

Brock SELLS THE KNEE by lifting his leg up when he gets a vertical suplex. Little things like that are what I mean by selling. Brock shouting at Eddie to die is rather creepy. He gets a gutwrench hold on the mat and Eddie is in trouble again. The perk of a guy like Brock is that even a basic hold like that looks devastating when he does it. Eddie gets back and hits Three Amigos. Frog Splash misses though as this is an excellent match.

The most ridiculous looking ref bump I can remember in a long time happens as Eddie kicks the referee while taking an F5. It was just bad looking with how obvious it was. Either that or the referee is really, really stupid. Brock hits the floor and grabs the belt but GOLDBERG is back and spears the tar out of Lesnar.

Eddie covers for two and misses a belt shot. I love the way Brock throws boots to the ribs. Eddie counters an F5 into a DDT “onto the belt” which misses by about 6 inches and hits the Frog Splash to blow the roof off the place and win the title and do the unthinkable which I was typing before Taz said it. I’m no Eddie fan, but that is a cool moment.

Rating: A. This was an excellent match that got over thirty minutes. The ending was solid as Eddie cheated a bit but that was what he did. Also it was his Frog Splash that ended it rather than anything else. Eddie isn’t someone I can get into as much as his fans do but this was easily his crowning glory and the match worked very well. Probably Brock’s best non-Angle match and one of Eddie’s best ever which is saying a lot as he’s a great wrestler in his own right.

Overall Rating: B. This was a hard one. The last hour and a half of this is quite good but the first hour and fifteen minutes or so is just brutal. If you had just the last three matches, this is borderline A+. The other matches though are just inexcusably weak. It’s not so much that they’re bad but why would I want to pay to see them? It was a sign of the times I guess. Check out the last three matches and the main event for sure. Other than that you’re not missing anything at all.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Impact Wrestling – August 2, 2012: The Masked Men Are Due In The Impact Zone

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 2, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Another trip to Orlando tonight as we’re approaching Hardcore Justice in a week and a half. Tonight we have a big tag match as well as Storm vs. Angle in a BFG Series match. We’re sure to have more from Aces and 8’s as Brooke Hogan is going to say something about her dad, which I’m sure will be riveting. Let’s get to it.

Zema Ion/Bobby Roode vs. Austin Aries/Kenny King

This is a big brawl that was going on when the show started. Roode and Aries were fighting at the top of the stage before coming to the ring to join the other guys. Aries hits a huge dive onto Roode on the floor to take over. There’s the bell and we’re officially going. A double airplane spin puts Ion down and King hits a springboard legdrop for two. King sends Ion into the corner and fires off shoulders to the ribs. Off to Aries for a slingshot corkscrew dive for two. Back to King who gets hit in the back by Roode.

King is sent to the floor and Ion hits a big flip dive to finally give his team the advantage. Roode comes in legally and goes after the leg and ankle of King which was injured somewhere in the match. A knee drop gets two for Roode and it’s back to the X Champion. We take a break and come back with Roode sending King off the topr rope and to the floor with a crash.

King is still in trouble, this time in the corner as Roode stomps away some more. Back to Ion who works on the arm a bit, only to walk into a high cradle suplex to put him down. Aries gets the tag but Roode stepped in for a distraction. Roode, being the heel that he is, comes in without a tag for more stomping. Bobby doesn’t stay in long though as it’s back to Ion again. King punches them both down and everything breaks down. Aries hits a missile dropkick to send Roode to the floor followed by the suicide dive. King hits the reverse F5 on Ion for the pin at 14:48.

Rating: B-. Good fast paced opener here and a good way to get the crowd’s attention to open things up. It’s always cool to see them mix up the played out formula for a change and having King out there isn’t bad either. Ion still does nothing for me and I’m hoping he doesn’t keep the belt until Sorensen is back.

We get the traditional recap from last week.

Sting says he wants to hear it straight from Storm’s mouth.

Here’s Sting who wants Storm out here to say he’s not involved with Aces and 8’s. Cue the Cowboy who wants an explanation. Sting shows him a clip of last week where Aces and 8’s came out but didn’t touch Storm. Storm says he has nothing to do with it and didn’t need them to help him beat Angle a few weeks ago.

Cue Angle who says he’s seen Storm all over the place but he doesn’t get Storm’s motivation. He talks about Aces and 8’s beating up everyone other than Storm. Why would eight grown men run away from one guy? Angle wants Storm to come to his match later, and Sting says he’ll be there for it too because he hopes Aces and 8’s show up. Angle says he’ll make Storm tap out.

AJ Styles was in Australia this week.

We recap the Clair story which has gone on forever it seems.

Daniels and Kaz make fun of AJ while holding their drinks. They’re going to throw Clair a baby shower.

There are going to be three hardcore four ways at Hardcore Justice in the BFG Series, all of which for 20 points:

Daniels vs. Angle vs. Styles vs. Joe in a ladder match

Anderson vs. RVD vs. Dinero vs. Magnus in a last man standing match

Hardy vs. Story vs. Ray vs. Robbie E in a tables match

BFG Leaderboard:

Samoa Joe 47

James Storm 45

Kurt Angle 41

Mr. Anderson 40

Jeff Hardy 28

Rob Van Dam 28

Christopher Daniels 26

Magnus 21

AJ Styles 16

Bully Ray 14

D’Angelo Dinero 7

Robbie E 5

Bound For Glory Series: Bully Ray vs. Robbie E

Ray says he doesn’t trust Storm before the match. Big Rob hits Ray with the list before we get going. Robbie pounds Ray down but some big chops set up a quick Bubba Cutter and we’re done at 90 seconds.

Earl Hebner gives Madison Rayne gifts. She says she cares about him when Gail Kim comes up to complain. Earl leaves and Madison says he’ll call the match right down the middle tonight.

Tara vs. Mickie James vs. Gail Kim vs. Madison Rayne

Winner get Tessmacher at some point in the future. Tessmacher is on commentary here. Tara immediately tries a Tarantula on Gail but gets backdropped to the floor. Mickie is knocked to the floor and it’s heel vs. heel for a bit. Tara comes back in to prevent that from happening, only to get caught in a bad knee to the face from Madison. A neckbreaker puts Tara down and they take turns pounding away. Mickie pulls Gail to the floor but gets sent into the steps for her troubles. The spinning side slam gets two on Madison as Gail breaks it up. Madison chokes Tara and Gail sends Mickie to the floor.

Gail misses a charge in the corner and Mickie is back. Tara heads outside and it’s Mickie vs. Rayne at the moment. Madison is taken down by a neckbreaker but Gail makes the save. Everything breaks down if that’s possible in a fourway. Tara takes over and loads up a moonsault, only to get crotched by Madison. Mickie pulls Madison off the top but Rayne kicks Mickie in the head. Gail superplexes Tara down and everyone is down.

Gail covers Tara but Earl is with Madison. Tessmacher says a superplex like that can only happen with the Knockouts. Bob Orton might want to have a word with you about that. Mickie sends Gail to the floor and fires off clotheslines on Rayne. A flapjack takes Madison down again but Gail sneaks in and sends her to the floor. Widow’s Peak takes Gail down but Madison goes after Tara. Tara rolls her up and gets the pin at 7:30, but, say it with me, Earl gives the win to Madison despite Tara’s shoulder being nowhere near the mat.

Rating: D+. How many times can we have a fourway Knockouts match for the #1 contenders spot? Seriously, I can’t remember how many of these we’ve had recently. The match was just ok and the ending was about as obvious as you could have asked one to be. Madison will likely get the title and few people will care, which is a shame as Tessmacher is a pretty interesting champion.

Roode says Storm is behind it. Aries says he might as well be at ringside too since Roode will be.

Sting is talking to Brooke who says she doesn’t like seeing her dad in pain. She doesn’t know why Aces and 8’s are picking on them. That came off as a really stupid line to me. A messenger comes in with a package for Brooke which has playing cards on it. She bails and Sting is annoyed.

ODB and Eric have a “comedy” segment about how they haven’t defended the titles in months. Apparently it’s not good that Eric is a man. He has a fishing show debuting on Sunday and he thinks that if the belts are always apart, they can’t be stripped of them. Why do these titles exist again?

Chavo Guerrero vs. Kid Kash

Hernandez and Gunner are here to second the respective guys. As if the ending of this wasn’t clear enough already, Grandmama Guerrero is here. Chavo speeds things up quickly and throws on an armbar. Kash escapes and pounds away but gets pulled off by the referee. Kash throws him into the air so Chavo crashes down, followed by a backbreaker for two. A moonsault hits knees and it’s comeback time. Chavo hurricanranas him down and a dropkick gets two. Both seconds get on the apron and Kash hits Chavo in the head. Dead Level is countered and it’s time to roll some suplexes. The Frog Splash pins Kash at 4:41.

Rating: C. This was fine for a debut from Chavo even though it was exactly what you would have expected it to be. Chavo is fine for midcard stuff like this and if he doesn’t rise much higher than this I won’t have many complaints. Nothing much to see here but a decent match that eats up five minutes isn’t a bad thing.

Dixie says it’s time for AJ to step up and set the record straight.

Angle talks to someone’s kid who says that he wants to be a wrestler. It’s Wes Brisco, son of Gerald Brisco. He asks Angle to put in a good word for him and Angle doesn’t seem to be opposed to the idea. Before he can say yes though D-Von and Garrett come in to offer their services to Angle tonight. He says cool.

It’s time for the baby shower. Kaz: “AJ Styles isn’t here tonight. He’s in Australia, promoting Impact Wrestling and possibly impregnating somebody.” Daniels and Kaz invite Clair into the ring and give her a necklace. Daniels talks about how important being pregnant is and says they’ll do what AJ won’t do. The first gift: diapers. The next: a bunch of Impact gear such as toys and t-shirts. The piece de resistance (Daniels: “That means prize piece you idiots. Stay in school.”) is an AJ baby doll. Clair looks into the camera and shouts at AJ to do the right thing.

Joseph Park says he’s been retained by some Impact wrestlers for his legal services. He offers Sting said services but Sting says he’s covered. One thing Sting would like to know though: where did Park learn how to do a Black Hole Slam like that? Park doesn’t have an answer.

Bound For Glory Series: James Storm vs. Kurt Angle

Wes Brisco is at ringside. Weren’t Roode, Sting and Aries supposed to be here too? Feeling out process to start as no one can get an extended advantage. Storm works over the arm which seems to work as well as anything else does for him. Here’s Sting to ringside as well. D-Von and Garrett come out quickly thereafter as Storm hits a facebuster on Angle. Storm is almost sent to the floor but he skins the cat and hits a Thesz Press to pound on Angle some more.

The Last Call is ducked and Angle suplexes him down. Bully Ray is here too. We take a break and come back with Storm hitting an Orton Elevated DDT to put Angle down. Roode and Aries come out as well as Storm hits a hot shot and running forearm. Angle catches him in the corner and hits the Rolling Germans to put Sting down. Angle Slam is countered but Angle kicks Storm in the face for two.

Ankle lock is countered and Storm hits the Angle Slam on Angle for two. Angle takes him into the corner and now the ankle lock goes on. Storm can’t roll through but he won’t tap. Taz is telling Storm to tap out because it isn’t worth it. The hold has been on for a minute or so now. The fans cheer for the Cowboy and he finally rolls onto his back and kicks Angle in the head. Last Call hits out of nowhere for the pin at 13:32.

Rating: B-. This started slow but it got better until the end. For the life of me I don’t get why TNA keeps having these quick endings. The superkick came out of nowhere and it seemed like the perfect time for a kickout. Still though, this was a good match and felt like a big one, which is a good thing for a TV show.

Everyone looks around for Aces and 8’s but Storm grabs the mic. He calls out Aces and 8’s, saying that with everyone here why don’t they come out now. No one comes out so Roode says this is odd isn’t it James? He says Storm doesn’t need them and that’s why they’re not here. Roode says he told everyone and Ray sneaks up on Storm, causing a brawl. Aries and Roode brawl too as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a pretty in the middle show but there was enough good stuff to hold me in for two hours. The Aces and 8’s stuff is starting to roll again, as is the Clair stuff. Both stories have potential to blow up in either a good or bad way at any time, but for the moment they’re both solid enough. There are a lot of questions still, but that’s good enough to bring us back for more. Good show here but nothing great.

Results

Kenny King/Austin Aries b. Bobby Roode/Zema Ion – Reverse F5 to Ion

Bully Ray b. Robbie E – Bubba Cutter

Madison Rayne b. Tara, Mickie James and Gail Kim – Rollup to Tara

Chavo Guerrero b. Kid Kash – Frog Splash

James Storm b. Kurt Angle – Last Call

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Monday Night Raw – November 12, 2001: If They Don’t Care, Why Should I?

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 12, 2001
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

It’s the final Raw of the Alliance Era and I bet they’ll talk about the Winner Takes All match this Sunday. The fact that this is ending in less than six months has never ceased to blow my mind. There’s no reason for things to have wrapped up that fast, but then again I’m not Vince McMahon so what do I know about how to run a story that could have drawn billions and run for years? Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Smackdown with Taz saying that he doesn’t trust Austin anymore, earning himself a beating. The Alliance walked out on Austin. Angle told Austin to shove his hat and Austin Stunned him as well.

Here’s Angle to open the show. He talks about how there was a team that had a chance to win it all, but infighting broke that down and now they’re losers. They would be the Red Sox from this season of course. Angle wants Austin here right now, but instead he gets Edge. Edge calls Angle a coward and wants a US Title match RIGHT NOW.

US Title: Edge vs. Kurt Angle

So not only can all three McMahons and both Commissioners make matches, but wrestlers can too. Sure why not. Edge immediately dropkicks him down but Angle takes him to the mat. Edge speeds things up again and takes Kurt down before doing Kurt’s signature pose. They go to the mat again and Edge grabs the arm to control. The half nelson bulldog that edge stopped doing when he got to be a bigger star gets two.

Angle grabs a belly to belly to send Edge up and over to the floor and the challenger is in trouble. Back in that only gets two but Edge is reeling. Edge comes back with a quick flapjack but Angle rolls him down to the ground and it’s off to a chinlock. Edge tries to go up but he jumps into a belly to belly suplex. The moonsault misses and both guys are down.

Edge makes his comeback and the Edgecution and Angle Slam are both countered. Edge-O-Matic gets two and a victory roll gets the same for the challenger. Angle Slam hits and there’s the ankle lock but here’s Kane. Or rather just his entrance for a distraction so Edge can spear Angle down for the pin and the title in a major upset.

Rating: C-. As good as these guys would get over the next year or so, this really didn’t click for the most part. Edge wasn’t ready to beat Angle here so the cheating finish helps, but it still wasn’t much to go on. They were getting there though and their feud in 2002 basically brought Edge up to a new level.

Post match here’s Kane to beat up Kurt. Kane puts him in the ankle lock until some Alliance jobbers come in to get beaten up instead.

Taz has challenged Austin to a non-title match tonight because he’s all ragey.

WWF Tag Titles: Hardy Boys vs. Booker T/Test

The Hardys slide in but get jumped immediately. A suplex puts Jeff down and gets two for Booker. It’s quickly off to Test but Jeff pounds him back. A gutwrench powerbomb stops the comeback but Test’s big boot misses. The not hot tag brings in Matt who cleans house, hitting the middle rope legdrop on Booker for two. There’s the Twist/Swanton to Jeff but Test kicks Jeff’s head off. Everything breaks down and Lita hits the rana on Booker so Jeff can roll him up for the titles.

Rating: D+. YAY the Hardys are champions again! This matters…..why? No really why does this matter? Everything ends on Sunday so this is like the proverbial changing deck chairs on the Titanic. Who cares if the Hardys get another tag title run or if Edge is US Champion? There was nothing here either as it was barely long enough to grade.

Chavo Guerrero and Hugh Morrus come to Vince and ask for jobs if the Alliance loses. Why would I care if they have jobs or not?

Steve Austin vs. Taz

Austin is in jean shorts and a sweatshirt. Taz jumps him as he comes in and pounds on Austin in the corner. A low blow breaks up the Tazmission and the Stunner gets the pin. This didn’t even last 45 seconds.

Shane comes out and tells Austin to get off Taz. The Alliance is waiting in the back for a speech from Austin apparently.

The Desire video is about Undertaker. It still sounds like a perfume commercial.

Stephanie addresses the Alliance and I’m liking the leather jacket on her. She fires Morrus and Guerrero and Austin comes in. He yells at Angle but Shane yells at Austin, saying Austin needs to worry about The Rock. Booker gets yelled at for no apparent reason and this turns into another “we need to come together” pep talk. Then Shane leaves and it turns into an argument.

WCW Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Albert

Scotty gets jumped but Albert (currently Tensai) in a stupid hat makes the save. Stacy gets in for no apparent reason and hits on Scotty but Albert rips her skirt down. That would be more valuable than all of his current WWE run combined. They load up the Worm but the Dudleys pull Stacy out and pull her out and leave. No match I guess.

Jericho complains to Vince about how Rock is too obsessed with the People. Vince tells Jericho to get over it because the match on Sunday is more important.

Regal is warming up when Christian comes in. They have some tea and Regal casually tells him he’s facing Big Show tonight. Christian panics and Regal whispers something to him which calms Christian down.

Hardcore Title: Undertaker vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is defending and he fires off strikes in the corner to start. Taker comes back with right hands in the corner as well but Van Dam clotheslines him to the floor. Van Dam dives at Taker but gets caught and rammed into the post. They go up to the stage and Taker misses a boot so that his leg gets caught in part of the set. Van Dam climbs up said set and dives off with a cross body for a very delayed two.

Rob knocks Taker over to the edge of the stage but Taker knocks him back for the sake of avoiding death. Taker pounds away and slams Van Dam into the set again. The Last Ride is loaded up but Booker runs out to break it up. Booker and Van Dam pound Taker down and they head back inside. Taker fights back but Booker takes him down again. Booker goes up but gets crotched and superplexed. Van Dam comes in out of nowhere and hits the Five Star while Taker is down to retain.

Rating: D. This show is AWFUL. The matches have no thought or effort into them at all and it’s sucking the little life they had left out of the building. Weren’t Booker and Van Dam having issues recently? Well apparently they patched things up off camera because they’re fine now. Nothing to see here and it’s very clear that no one cared at all.

Rock comes in to see Vince and Vince tries to make peace with Rock and Jericho. Rock wants nothing to do with a “moose hunting Twisted Sister wannabe.” Somehow this took almost five minutes.

Here’s Mick Foley for a promo I remember being very sad to see back in the day. Foley says that he’s out of a job no matter what happens on Sunday because about three days after he became Commissioner, Vince came back and made him worthless again. Foley has a lot of things he wants to do with the rest of his life and answering to Vince isn’t one of them. If the WWF wins, Vince can take his job but he can’t take his pride.

Foley goes on a rant and a half about how the title he has in his closet (the WWF Title he won on January 4, 1999) means nothing anymore because EVERYONE has a title anymore and none of them mean anything at all. With the power he has for a little while longer, he’s going to get rid of some titles. Before he tells us how, he goes on another rant about how at Raw and Smackdown last week, he was told he wasn’t needed. I mean, why put Mick Foley on TV in Long Island? “Maybe I’m not needed on the program, but the program sure needs something and more titles isn’t it”.

On Sunday it’s Edge vs. Test in a US/IC unification match (Foley gets the respective titles wrong but that kind of reinforces his point. Neither guy had held their belts for even a month so does it matter?) and the Hardys vs. the Dudleys in a cage to unify the tag belts (for the second time in three months of course). That brings him to the Light Heavyweight and Cruiserweight Titles. “Well X-Pac is MIA. No one knows where he is and no one really cares”. Since Pac doesn’t exist anymore, Regal will face Tajiri instead and that’s that.

I want to talk about this promo for a minute. First and foremost, he’s absolutely right about almost everything he said. At this point, there were 10 championships in the company, and that’s counting the tag titles as one title instead of two. Think that that. On top of that, this was Mick Foley, one of the top stars the company has ever had and one of the nicest guys in the history of wrestling, just erupting on national TV because of how awful things had gotten. This was just over seven months after the best show in wrestling history and it’s fallen this far. Let that sink in for a minute.

Christian vs. Big Show

Non-title of course because Big Show can’t be bothered trying to win the European Title. Show shoves him down to start and throws on a bearhug. Christian is knocked to the floor and DDP comes out. That goes absolutely nowhere as he can’t even get in the ring. Christian brings in a chair but Show hits it into his face for the pin at 1:27.

This is EXACTLY what Foley is complaining about: a champion just got destroyed in less than 90 seconds and why? Christian is defending his title on Sunday but do you think his opponent was even mentioned? Big Show is in the main event of the PPV but he’s here squashing Christian in short order? Why? Does this make him look like a threat in the main event? He’s Big Show, a former world champion and a guy that has main evented Wrestlemania.

Why should Christian need to get crushed like this for the sake of Big Show? There are a dozen guys in the Alliance that you could do this to who don’t have belts, but we just HAD to have Christian get beaten up right? At the end of the day, I doubt very seriously that the WWF could have answered that back then, or they would say it doesn’t matter, which is a big part of the problem.

Anyway the Dudleys come out and break a table over Show’s head before the APA shows up for the save. Not the Hardys, as in the team that the Dudleys are facing on Sunday, but the APA, a team that is in a yet to be mentioned on this show battle royal for immunity from being fired. Little things like that are the way you can tell no one is paying attention or thinking at all.

No one is at WWF New York.

Rock is walking in the back and goes into a room. That’s it. Seriously, that’s all they showed here.

Edge was at a Rob Zombie concert in New Mexico. Riveting indeed. Edge just started using Rob Zombie as his entrance music so we see Zombie perform the FULL SONG. I like the song but if I wanted to watch a music video, I’d watch a music video.

Rock is in his locker room when Jericho comes in. Jericho complains about what Rock called him earlier and Rock complains about Jericho complaining about the people. This is pretty much the ONLY thing that was interesting on Raw at this point. Taker comes in to yell at them and complains about getting double teamed while no one came to help him. I guess when Kane and Big Show, as in the other two members of Team WWF, were getting double teamed earlier, Taker was busy having a meatball sandwich and watching Days of Our Lives, because he certainly didn’t help them out.

Kane comes in and gets yelled at too. Taker yells at the team for not being unified. Big Show is never mentioned at all during this speech. Rock and Jericho, two of the biggest mouths ever, have nothing to say to this. Oh wait Rock says they’re a team and what Taker says is clear. The tall guys leave and Jericho wishes Rock luck. Rock says he’ll be waiting for Jericho.

WCW World Title: The Rock vs. William Regal

Rock didn’t even bother changing into trunks for this. Regal jumps Rock to start and they head to the floor for a bit. Back inside and Regal hits the knee trembler for two. Off to a fast chinlock but Rock comes back with a belly to belly suplex and a DDT for two. They head outside again but Tajiri comes out to Mist Regal. You know, because Rock can’t beat Regal on his own. Spinebuster and Sharpshooter get the win for Rock. This was nothing AGAIN.

Rock calls out Austin and here’s the bald one after a break. They stare each other down and Rock says they go back to Wrestlemania. Rock remembers that night and the next night as well as earlier when Austin says he can beat Rock. Rock hopes Austin jumps to the WWF so Rock can beat Austin up in the WWF for the WWF Title. He says FINALLY but Austin takes the mic out of his hand. Now Austin wants to say FINALLY but Rock takes the mic. Rock tries to say it again but Austin pulls the mic away again. He makes fun of the people chanting Rocky and says FINALLY, but Rock pulls the mic away again. Now Rock makes fun of WHAT. It’s so clear they have NO IDEA how to fill in this time so they’re just messing around.

Austin WHAT’S the crowd for a bit and the fans applaud. Austin says that’s the bottom line but Rock steals the mic before Austin can finish. Rock says what (complete with a stutter that sounds like WOO WOO WOO beforehand) but Austin takes the mic away for about the 9 millionth time. Rock says Austin’s breath smells like strudel. Austin says he (as in Austin) has a beer belly and it’s fuel for fighting but he’s not going to do that right now. Austin says Rock has hurt his feelings and it looks like they’re finally about to fight but instead Austin wants to sing. Yes I said SING.

Austin talks about a rock band called Boston but he doesn’t remember any of their songs right now. Instead he’s going to sing Delta Dawn (complete with a shout out to a fan in Texas with a busted up leg. Ok then) and he does in fact sing the song. Rock counters with The Gambler by Kenny Rogers and we’ve officially entered the point where I have no idea what to think anymore. Rock: “That make you feel better?” Austin: “I feel like crap.” And now, TIME FOR A DUET!

They sing Margaritaville as I’m trying to remember these two singing in front of nearly 68,000 people in Houston. Oh scratch that as that was a thirty minute blood bath in the classic main event of the greatest show of all time. Instead they’re here talking about a lost shaker of salt. Aren’t they supposed to be fighting for their jobs on Sunday? Rock says he’ll never forget and Rock Bottoms Austin. Angle comes in and the big brawl between the teams ends the show. Jericho makes the save with a chair and stands behind Rock but he doesn’t swing it.

Overall Rating: F. I am in awe of what I just spent 90 minutes watching. The last fifteen minutes of this show was a singing contest between two of the three biggest stars in wrestling history. You know, as in the guys that have had the only main event trilogy at Wrestlemania ever. Now don’t get me wrong: the segment was kind of entertaining, but when it goes on for FIFTEEN MINUTES at the end of a dreadful show, it’s only going to be so good. These guys are supposed to hate each other and they look like they’re at a comedy club. Horrible show with a freaking bizarre ending.

Here’s Survivor Series if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/10/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2001-the-end-of-the-alliance-thank-goodness/

Also here is an article I wrote about the Invasion and my thoughts on why it didn’t work and what I would have changed:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/01/28/i-want-to-talk-a-little-bit-about-the-invasion/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Impact Wrestling – July 26, 2012: Who’s Holding The Cards?

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 26, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

After last week’s Aces and 8’s show, it should be interesting to see what the retaliation is tonight. We’ll have a ton of BFG Series matches I’m sure, plus some other stuff if they have time. That’s the one issue with the Series: it takes up SO much time on every show that there isn’t much room for anything else. The good thing is that the matches aren’t bad so it’s not like it’s torture. Let’s get to it.

We open with the usual recap from last week.

Tonight it’s Storm vs. Styles and Ray vs. Angle. Also Chavo debuts.

Here’s Sting to open things up. Dixie has named him the interim GM until Hogan is back, so his first act is to call out Aces and 8’s, even though he’s alone. Instead he gets Aries, who says if Aces and 8’s jumps anyone, he’ll jump on them. Here’s Angle who was beaten down last week by Aces and 8’s as well. He says they tried to cost him a world title shot so he wants them too.

Now cue Roode who says he isn’t here with them but he’s here announce that he knows who is behind Aces and 8’s. The mic goes out so Angle gives Roode his own mic. It’s someone who has been in the world title picture for a year and is jealous of both Roode and Angle: the Cowboy James Storm. Storm charges out and jumps Roode. Tehy brawl into the ring while the other three guys let it go. Angle finally breaks it up and Roode leaves. Roode says the truth hurts and we go to a break.

People talk about Chavo debuting tonight.

Post break Roode yells about it being Storm. He takes his bags and leaves as Jason Hervey is apparently the interviewer.

Madison Rayne/Gail Kim vs. Mickie James/Tara

It’s been too long since Mickie has been on my TV. Next week these four are in a fourway for the #1 contender shot. Tara and Gail start with a fight over arm control. Off to Mickie for a low dropkick that gets two. There’s the Thesz Press to Gail and it’s off to Madison who looks GREAT in that blue number.

Madison does little of note and it’s off to Tara to clean house. She hits the spinning side slam for two and it’s off to Mickie. The good chicks hit a cool double rolling mat slam into a double half crab. Gail tries a double dropkick and gets caught in the same hold. Madison is with Earl Hebner though and Mickie rolls Madison up for the pin at 3:51. But Madison gets the win instead. Yep this is the angle they’re giving the Knockouts now. They made a point to show that Mickie’s shoulder was off the mat.

Rating: D+. The ending makes me hate this division all over again. Why in the world would we want to see Earl Hebner get a storyline? BECAUSE IT’S WACKY!!! These four have a fourway next week and I’d bet the ending is going to be the same thing. For the life of me I don’t get who thinks this is a good idea.

Sting tells Aries to make some cuts to the X-Division. You know, right after they were introduced a few weeks ago.

Sam Shaw says he loves this business.

More people talk about Chavo. Ray: “Didn’t I tell you never to bother me when I’m on my Twitter machine?”

Gut Check: Sam Shaw vs. Douglas Williams

Shaw is a smaller guy and a high flier. There are people with signs that say 87, which means Joey Ryan. Shaw controls the early stuff here but there’s a camera on the crowd so you know something is coming. Shaw hits an Orton backbreaker and goes up top. Some people come out as Shaw is slammed off the top rope. Here’s Ryan who hits security and runs. Apparently he hit Snow. Williams kills Shaw with a clothesline and pounds away before hitting Rolling Chaos for the pin at 2:38. Ryan was the bigger focus here but Shaw looked better than any Gut Check guy so far as far as almost winning. The judging is tonight.

Aries is with the X guys and they all do the reality show stuff, saying they should get the X Title shot. Ion comes in and brags a bit before leaving. Aries cuts Rashad Cameron. I think this is just about who gets the title match and that these guys aren’t fired or anything like that. We have King, Darsow and Dutt left as contenders.

More Chavo stuff. This is some of the biggest hype I’ve seen in a long time.

Here’s Chavo in a suit. He says he’s humbled to be here because the Guerrero Family has conquered everything. They’ve been champions everywhere they’ve been except for here in TNA. He says timing is everything and people need to remember this time and date. It’s Guerrero Time. Good debut speech.

Chavo wraps it up but Kid Kash and Gunner come out. Kash lists off all of Chavo’s family members who have been wrestlers. He wants to know where Chavo’s uncle Hector is and suggests that Hector is too drunk. Chavo jumps them and gets beaten down until Hernandez makes the save.

Angle asks Storm if he’s involved with Aces and 8’s. Storm says he doesn’t because if he had a problem with someone, he’d take it up with them. Storm says he has their backs tonight if Aces and 8’s attack. Angle leaves and Storm has a look on his face that says…nothing of note actually.

The Gut Check judges talk in the back and Snow is ticked off about Ryan.

We get a recap of last week’s AJ/Clair/Daniels drama.

Bound For Glory Series Standings:

Samoa Joe 47

James Storm 43

Mr. Anderson 30

Jeff Hardy 28

Kurt Angle 27

Christopher Daniels 26

Rob Van Dam 21

Magnus 14

AJ Styles 14

D’Angel Dinero 7

Bully Ray 7

Robbie E 5

Bound For Glory Series: AJ Styles vs. James Storm

Feeling out process to start as Clair is watching from the crowd. Storm gets control with the form of a chinlock and a kind of mat slam for one. A backdrop sets up another chinlock but AJ pops up again. The drop down/kick gets two and AJ sends Storm face first into the buckle. A suplex puts Storm down and it’s back to the chinlock. Storm makes his comeback with some clotheslines and a forearm for two. Another suplex gets two for Storm.

AJ sends him into the corner but misses a splash/forearm. Storm puts him on the top rope with AJ’s back to the ring. Styles tries to escape but gets caught in the Eye of the Storm for two. Storm goes to the middle rope but his tornado DDT is countered into a release northern lights suplex into the corner for two. Springboard forearm gets two. Styles Clash is countered into an Alabama Slam for two. Storm rams Styles’ face into the apron for another two. AJ kicks him in the head out of nowhere and hits the Pele….and here are Aces and 8’s for the beatdown at about 11:00. They didn’t touch Storm.

Rating: B-. This was getting good at the end and I’m assuming it was a DQ win for Styles as he was the one that they hit first. At the end of the day, sometimes the best idea is just to have two guys that are talented go out there for awhile and do big moves and near falls to each other. This worked well as you were wondering who was going to get the win, and above all else: CLAIR DIDN’T DO ANYTHING.

Gut Check time. Shaw says he’s got what it takes, Snow says he didn’t get to see what Shaw did tonight but he wants to stick it to Ryan and say yes, but he has to say no due to a lack of evidence. Pritchard says yes. Shaw cuts a promo and sucks up to Taz because he wants to work with the best. Taz says yes, meaning we won’t be seeing Shaw for a few months if the pattern holds.

Back to Aries and the X guys. Aries: “Dutt: Himalayan American, King: African American. Darsow: Wasn’t your dad Russian?” Darsow: “Just a sympathizer.” Darsow says he’s flashy but Aries says he’s cut because Darsow isn’t ready. Aries: “Tell your dad hello and that his repo business is doing great.”

X-Division Title: Zema Ion vs. Kenny King

Dutt doesn’t get it because of his shoulder. Ion pauses for some hairspray and things speed up. King dropkicks him down and hits a flying shoulder attack in the corner. Springboard crossbody gets two and it’s time for some punches. Ion sends him to the floor and hits a flip dive to take over. A missile dropkick puts King down and hooks a crossface chickenwing. Ion has a busted lip or mouth. A sunset flip out of the corner gets two for King but he walks into a modified backbreaker for two for Ion.

King clotheslines him down again and hits an atomic drop followed by a spin kick to the head for two. Overhead high cradle suplex puts Ion down but he keeps coming for some reason. Ion kicks him to the floor and hits a corkscrew plancha to take Ion down again. King loads up a springboard…and Bobby Roode trips him up and posts him, allowing Ion to hit a moonsault for the pin to retain at 6:14.

Rating: C. This was a very strange ending but it’s certainly intriguing. King looked good here and if he’s going to be getting programmed with Roode (even though Roode has a world title match at the PPV) there’s nothing bad about that at all. Ion is going to hold the belt for awhile, but I’d be surprised if there isn’t at least one title change before Sorensen comes back.

My guess is that Roode did that because Aries picked King. Aries runs out and jumps Roode.

Ray says he respects Angle but he’s beating him tonight.

Ion/Roode vs. Aries/King next week.

Bound For Glory Series: Bully Ray vs. Kurt Angle

Feeling out process to start with the Angle Slam and Big Boot both missing. Ray tries to use power but gets caught in the ankle lock as a result. He makes the rope and it’s off to the arm for Kurt. Ray hits a SICK piledriver for two as we take a break. Back with Ray working on the neck some more, only for Angle to come back and hit a belly to belly for two. Ray hits the Bully Bomb for two of his own and it’s time for Rolling Germans.

There’s the ankle lock but Ray rolls through to escape. They slug it out and Ray hits a Rock Bottom for two. Ray misses a big boot and the Angle Slam gets two. Moonsault misses but Angle breaks up the Bubba Cutter. Big boot gets two and Ray is frustrated. Ray misses a charge and the Angle Slam gets the pin at 11:54.

Rating: B. I was digging this as it was Angle 101, which means it works very well. Good match here as you had two guys beating on each other for about twelve minutes and seeing who was going to be able to get the pin finally. Angle winning makes the most sense but it looked great to see Ray getting that close.

Post match here are Aces and 8’s on Angle but AJ, Aries, Sting and eventually Storm come out to clear the ring. Angle still thinks Storm was behind it. Next week: Angle vs. Storm.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this show better than I have the last few episodes. Aces and 8’s were a factor here but they didn’t dominate the show like they did last week. King being brought up a bit is also a good thing and it gives Roode and Aries something to do before the PPV. They had a good balance going tonight and that’s what the show has been lacking in recent weeks. Better show this week by far.

Results

Gail Kim/Madison Rayne b. Mickie James/Tara – Rollup to James

Douglas Williams b. Sam Shaw – Rolling Chaos Theory

AJ Styles vs. James Storm went to a no contest when Aces and 8’s interfered

Zema Ion b. Kenny King – Moonsault

Kurt Angle b. Bully Ray – Angle Slam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Vengeance 2002: The Great One Is Still Great

Vengeance 2002
Date: July 21, 2002
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detriot, Michigan
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

So at this time, the Brand Split has just happened, although this is still a double branded show. The main feud is Rock vs. Angle vs. Taker. Just glancing at the card, this show more or less sucks. Other than that, there just isn’t much here. Cena’s PPV debut is here if that helps anything at all. Van Dam vs. Lesnar could be ok I guess. Uh yeah let’s just get to this as I’m not sure how it’s going to go.

Should be noted that in April of this year, Orton debuted. In May Batista debuted, and in June, about a month prior to this, Cena debuted. Not bad for a three months period is it?

The opening video is based on a passage from the Bible of all things. Oh I forgot. Bischoff made his WWF debut around this time. Oh sorry. It’s WWE now. Really short though.

Tazz and Cole threatened JR and King and therefore they get to call half of the show due to JR and King not wanting to deal with a pair of idiots like them.

BubbaRayDudley/SpikeDudleyvs. ChrisBenoit/EddieGuerrero

This is an elimination match. Since D-Von got sent to Smackdown and is now a preacher (with a deacon named Batista), Spike and Bubba are more or less the new Dudley Boys. Yeah it didn’t work and at I think Survivor Series they put D-Von and Bubba back together. Eddie’s mullet is insane here. Benoit gets a decent pop. I’ve always liked how Fink said Benoit. Absolutely no reason for these guys fighting has been given yet.

Tazz says the Dudleys have tables all over their yard and porch. That’s kind of an amusing visual. Also, it’s stuff like that that is dead in wrestling today. It’s ridiculous, but it gives their characters a sense of kayfabe realism. Today, they’re just two guys that like putting people through tables. Here, they still have a bit of the crazed hillbillies in them which is what made them awesome in the first place. Benoit was hurt at KOTR 2001 so he’s back full time now.

See, that’s the kind of stuff we need to be told in case we’re not up to date. You know, information like WHY THEY’RE FIGHTING! Later in the fall, Bubba would get to feud with HHH over the world title of all things. To say they were low on ideas at this point is an understatement. With no tables involved yet, Cole is surprised that Benoit and Eddie are controlling this.

In other words, Cole is surprised that Benoit and Eddie are out-wrestling the Dudley Boys. WOW. Taz starts a sentence with “Those of you out there that haven’t been put through a table.” That sums up why I don’t have to make fun of it, even though it was made in a joking manner. HHH decides on Raw or Smackdown tonight. Ok then. Also, four ECW guys in there. But yeah Vince, ECW didn’t have much influence on WWE today. None at all.

Spike runs in for a modified Poetry in Motion that was pretty nice. This has been ALL Radicalz. Yes I know that’s not their name anymore so save your annoying comments. Bubba spears Spike to save him from going through a table. We’re about ten minutes into this and no one is eliminated yet. Spike does a double stomp to the ribs of Benoit from the top rope.

There’s no way that doesn’t hurt no matter how well you get ready for it. Bubba misses his back splash through the table but it doesn’t count since it wasn’t via an offensive move. They’ve been consistent with that so I can buy it. Spike reverses a suplex into a Dudley Dog on Eddie to eliminate him.

They kind of mess up the landing though as Eddie goes ribs first into it and doesn’t hit the ground with his body. Ow I think. Benoit hits a gorilla press on Spike (think about that for a second) and it’s one on one. And Bubba wins it with a Bubba Bomb.

Rati…..BUBBA DUDLEY JUST BEAT CHRIS BENOIT ON PAY PER VIEW??? WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT NONSENSE? SPIKE DUDLEY JUST BEAT EDDIE GUERRERO ON PPV??? I MUST HAVE EATEN SOME TAINTED YAK GUTS OR SOMETHING BECAUSE THIS ISN’T HAPPENING!!!

Rating: D+. It was long and had some drama, but in what non-existent universe should the Dudleys beat Eddie and Benoit in ANY kind of match? Someone explain this to me. Also, NO EXPLANATION of why they’re fighting at all. This was just a bizarre fifteen minutes if there ever has been a bizarre fifteen minutes. I’m legit stunned.

Bischoff says he’s here to sign the most ruthless athlete he knows of: HHH. Oh let it begin. He’s going into the Smackdown GM’s office. The Smackdown GM at the moment: Stephanie. I’d love to see HHH trying to get them to compete for his services. Three round competition: karate, lingerie, mud wrestling. Hey, tell me Stephanie wouldn’t look hot in a gi.

CruiserweightTitle: JamieNoblevs. BillyKidman

At this point, the belt means jack. It’s the guy wins title after being on “an impressive roll as of late”, holds it for like three months while never defending it, another guy goes “on an impressive roll as of late” and normally he wins the title. This would be the first major, and I use that term more loosely than Lita after a bottle of Jack, title defense for Noble though, so there’s more or less no way he loses here.

That and I reviewed the match where he did lose it already so yeah this isn’t in any doubt at all. Wow absolutely no one cares here. We get the line about Noble not being your traditional cruiserweight as he uses a ground based attack and isn’t a high flier. Well duh, he’s a heel champion. Has there ever been a high flier that’s a heel? Only an idiot would book that? Kidman goes up top. I wonder if he’s about to GET READY TO FLY.

I really could not be less interested in this. Yet I’m writing a review of it. There’s something extremely wrong with me I think. How in the world did Noble win the ROH Title for a month? Was that like a massive rib or something? Noble messes up Kidman’s shoulder to try to make people care. To be fair, Kidman gets some pops in there.

Oh some guy named Rey Mysterio debuts Thursday. So four months you got Ortn, Cena, Batista and Mysterio. Not bad. Kidman doesn’t tap to an armbar. Kidman goes for an enziguri. It lands on Noble’s back. Wow this is making my head hurt. Shooting Star misses and Noble rolls him up for two. Noble hits a Tiger Bomb to end this.

Rating: D+. Not bad, but seriously, no one really cared. This just filled in about 8 minutes and wasn’t that good at all. More or less a nothing match that went nowhere at all. Not that it was terrible or anything, but no point at all.

Angle says he’ll win tonight but does so in a comedic manner. He makes economy jokes based on Detroit. Wow that’s odd. Heyman and Lesnar interrupt and a rivalry is set up. Lesnar has the title shot at Summerslam. Brock was still the silent killer at the moment. Angle’s character has slowly grown on me over the years. He’s so happy go lucky and joking but he can whip so much ass in the ring that it’s ok.

EuropeanTitle: WilliamRegalvs. JeffHardy

Hardy is champion here for no reason whatsoever. Maybe the reason is he pinned the European Champion in a title match. Ah apparently it was to Hardy on Raw a few weeks back. He cried after losing the title. Cole of course makes fun of him. Jeff gets a big old pop even at this point. The fans can’t stand Regal at all. He always was a good guy for getting heat. Hardy does that dropkick through the middle and bottom ropes that he does but leaves it short.

Hardy messing up a move. Who would have guessed that? Whisper in the Wind doesn’t have a name yet. Oh and Jess is wearing body paint now. Swanton lands on the knees. That must hurt badly. Hardy gets a weird looking rollup from nowhere to retain. Seriously he was getting his head kicked in and then was rolling him up. Nice ending….I think. Regal freaks again afterwards.

Rating: D+. I know I’ve used that a lot here but it’s what comes up. Just a weird match to put it mildly. It was just random with Regal dominating most of the match but losing out of nowhere. The fans popped big for Hardy though so I can’t complain there.

Flair congratulates Hardy. Hogan is here too. These three are in the same company 8 years later and two of them are legends here. See something wrong there? Hogan says he might use a Swanton later. Flair says what he thinks Ross would say. It’s….not that funny. Hogan says he’s worried about Vince appointing Eric and Stephanie as GMs of THEIR company. Flair was still onscreen owner here, so what the heck is Hogan talking about HIS company?

Flair says he’s worried for the young guys. Oh that’s PRICELESS. You hear all of the political stuff coming, and you have to wonder why they have no problem talking about their bosses like this with a camera looking right at them. That’s wrestling though so I can go with it.

JohnCenavs. ChrisJericho

So Cena had debuted like a month before this and had nearly beaten Kurt Angle in a challenge match. Jericho is heel here mind you. Not bad for a debut feud. Jericho couldn’t beat him three days ago so he beat the tar out of him with a chair. Yeah Jericho not being able to beat Cena. I’m stunned too. Cena has generic rock theme #849B here. Oh and he’s from Boston here. Also he’s wearing red shorts with a white stripe up the side. It was a very different time.

He wouldn’t be a rapper for a few months. This is a totally different guy than you’re used to. He’s not that good in the ring, he has NO heat, and I don’t think he has an actual signature or finishing move. Jericho kicks his head off with a spinning heel kick. I love that move. More or less Cena is just trying to survive here. Random note but TNA started about a month before this. Lionsault misses and Cena gets two on a rollup. Jericho getting ticked off is a thing of beauty.

Lionsault hits but he doesn’t cover like an idiot. Cena counters the Walls into a rollup for a quick pin. See what I mean by not having a finisher? And remember, Jericho was main eventing Mania three and a half months earlier.

Rating: C-. TV level match here but this is far more of a signature moment than anything else. Jericho put him over clean here and you can’t ask for much more. This wasn’t bad at all, and given Cena’s experience at this point, there was only so high they could take this. Also, Cena beats Jericho again.

Bischoff and Coach are waiting outside Stephanie’s office where HHH has been for awhile. Her lawyer goes in. I don’t care.

JR and King take over on commentary.

RVD is stretching. So is Lesnar. BUYRATE BABY!

We recap them, which more or less is Lesnar is awesome and beats up everybody he fights. He beat RVD to win KOTR. That’s about it.

IntercontinentalTitle: BrockLesnarvs. RobVanDam

Ok so make that Cena, Orton, Batista, Mysterio and Lesnar in four months. Think this was a good time for the company? Heyman was perfect in this role. Although I do wonder why knowing Heyman’s money history Lesnar would let him handle his contracts. Makes little sense. Van Dam is OVER. Oh yeah he’s the hometown boy here. Brock uses an FU about 4 seconds in and since he’s not John Cena, it does nothing. Yeah Lesnar’s strength is nothing compared to Cena’s.

Van Dam gets some solid shots in on Lesnar that makes things believable at least. Weird to think that both of these guys are world champions today, almost eight years later. Lesnar hits a powerslam on the floor. Freaking OW! Ross thinks Van Dam has the advantage in speed in quickness. My head hurts from announcers at times.

We hit the bear hug with Brock in control. Van Dam cues up his comeback with Heyman’s advice being DON’T LOSE! F5 is countered into a DDT. Five Star connects but Heyman pulls the referee out. Yep, it’s a weak DQ. The referee beats up Heyman for no apparent reason. F5 to RVD post match.

Rating: C+. The key thing here was they had to protect both guys and that’s what they did. Van Dam keeps the title and had Lesnar beat, but Lesnar didn’t get pinned. It’s a nice deal because as they said, Lesnar had nothing at all to lose here. This was fine for what it was.

Let’s waste more time outside Stephanie’s office because it worked so well last time. Stephanie walks out and she’s not happy looking. She says he signed. Ok then. HHH walks out and Bischoff yells at him. Apparently he signed divorce papers. He hasn’t decided on who to sign with yet.

BigShowvs. BookerT

This is no DQ for no apparent reason. Maybe we’ll GET AN EXPLANATION HERE! No count outs either which I would have though was self-explanatory. Ah here’s an explanation. Show beat up Booker on Raw to culminate their feud. SO WHY ARE THEY FIGHTING??? Booker is in blue here which is oddly working for him. Apparently Show wanted the stipulations here. Oh and Show is in his one piece swimsuit again.

He would be the first guy to beat Lesnar. Wow. He’s just big, slow and bad here. We hear WWF here which would be a big issue today. If nothing else Show looks funny, although I don’t think that was their intention. Booker gets a good monitor shot into the head of Show on the floor. We now get one of the most contrived spots I can remember in a long time.

After that monitor shot, Booker gets on the other end of the tables and Show just happens to stay in perfect position for the axe kick. So if he hadn’t stood like that, what would Booker have done instead? That’s what I mean by contrived. We go back in and an axe kick and the Houston Hangover (front flip into a leg drop from the top) gets a clean pin. This was borderline squash.

Rating: D+. Not very good and that awful spot killed it for me. This was just random and it came off badly. Booker went on the hottest streak of his life just after this, culminating in being fed to HHH at Mania 19. This was just a weird one though.

Torrie and Dawn Marie are at The World, the newly named WWF New York. This was pointless.

And here’s HHH. Yeah, after about a month off or so, it’s time to talk about what his career plans are. Oh freaking JOY. Apparently he’s the biggest name in wrestling. Ok then. And we’re into HHH is awesome time now. Ross says he coined the phrase Cerebral Assassin months ago. Yeah that’s why they were using it OVER A YEAR AGO at Mania 17. Before he can talk though, here’s Bischoff. Once his theme song ends, his video keeps playing. Ok then.

Bischoff’s main pitch is he’s all business rather than personal. He offers HHH movie roles etc. He almost calls HHH a WCW Superstar. That was almost funny. He’s getting a shoe deal too. And here’s Stephanie of course. The weak rap/hip hop song for her just fails though. Wow Stephanie trying to be tough always FAILS. Oh yeah, and she cannot talk at all. They were unstoppable apparently.

You know, until they got, you know, stopped. Eric and Stephanie go back and forth for a bit with Stephanie mentioning that Eric once said HHH had no talent or charisma. WOW this is making my head hurt. Now HHH talks for awhile. This is just painfully bad. He sticks his hand out to Eric. He doesn’t shake it. He says he’d rather go with the devil he knows rather than the one he doesn’t. And here’s HBK who just left the NWO. Yeah that was just stupid.

The NWO had more or less been threatening to force HHH to join them on Raw. OH THAT’S RIGHT! Booker and Show were fighting because they were in the NWO together and Shawn said Booker was the reason the team sucked so Big Show started fighting Booker. This era sucked.

The NWO is gone now as they realized the thing was just stupid at this point. Shawn talks him into coming back to Raw. HHH turned heel the next night and beat up Shawn. This is ten minutes I’ll never get back. Gah it’s not over yet. Stephanie and Eric have to talk a bit more.

Rikishi says he’s surprised about HHH. This was pointless.

Booker and Goldust get asked about HHH. Booker says bring him on. Goldust makes a bad sex joke.

We recap the 4th of July tag title change. Edge was a childhood Hulkamaniac so they just randomly won the tag titles. Christian and Lance Storm were the UnAmericans at the time, so the REAL CANADIAN Edge and Hogan defended the country. Yeah it was stupid.

TagTitles: LanceStorm/Christianvs. HulkHogan/Edge

This isn’t going to be fun is it? I think the tag titles went on both brands at the time but I’m not sure. Yeah they did. Ross then explains that Toronto is in Canada. Ok then. It’s also the Hendrix music for Hogan. Yes let’s pay a commercial artist for music when WE OWN THE MOST FAMOUS SONG IN WRESTLING HISTORY! He follows that up by TWICE, yes TWICE saying that Hogan fought Warrior at Mania 3. WOW.

I knew that when I was 4 years old. Hogan vs. Christian starts. That’s a weird thing to see: Hogan fighting a guy that’s young and talented that hasn’t been elevated up yet. Dang how out of place does Hogan look here? If you get another talented guy in there, you could have a pretty interesting tag match. Or like this: Edge vs. Lance Storm. That sounds perfectly entertaining. This however, just isn’t interesting. Also, within about two months, Hogan has won the tag and world titles.

He’s like what, 50 at this point? Is there a reason to give him such title runs here? I can almost guarantee you that Edge will get pinned here if they lose the belts. Naturally Edge is the one getting beaten down. Hogan comes in and Christian goes for that diving reverse DDT of his. Hogan botches the HECK out of it. You know, because it’s such a hard move to take isn’t it? Leg drop to Christian but Storm makes the save.

Hogan doesn’t take the superkick from Storm right either. Edge comes in to clean house while Hogan looks for a pudding pack or something. And there goes the referee. Test runs down to beat up Hogan and Edge. Storm covers Edge for only two. Wow that surprised me. Rikishi of all people comes down to beat up Test. Sure why not?

Christian distracts the referee and JERICHO comes out to nail Edge with a title belt for the ending. Wow it only took four guys to get the belt off of Hogan and he didn’t even get pinned. That might be a new record low for Hogan. Naturally, this title that Hogan was so proud of was never mentioned again and he never went after it again.

Rating: D. Just bad and Hogan looked awful out there. Four guys to get the title off of Hogan. He botches a ton of spots, and he doesn’t even let Storm or Christian get to say they pinned Hogan. Yeah, this is definitely about the young guys. Can’t you see that?

Bischoff tries to get Angle onto Raw. Smart if nothing else.

Stephanie threatens to rip the heart out of Raw. Not sure what she means but she did get the IC Title to Smackdown. Pay no attention to the fact that the belts were unified soon after and we had the idiotic year where there were only world champions. Yeah it was stupid.

We recap the triple threat main event. Rock had a title shot for no apparent reason and there’s the famous Taker taps out while pinning Angle thing. Replays in slow enough motion show Taker tapping before the three hit the mat but whatever. It was a draw but whatever. That actually happened at UFC 34 in a Matt Hughes fight.

He was in a triangle choke and tried to slam the guy into the mat. He did so and won by knockout, but he was out from the choke. Taker suggested doing it to set up this angle. But no Vince, UFC which today is light years ahead of what it was back then has no impact on wrestling at all.

UndisputedTitle: TheRockvs. KurtAnglevs. Undertaker

So Rock is officially an actor now but he’s here for no adequately explained reason. That would come at Summerslam though. It’s your standard triple threat so far with Angle and Rock doing the heavy lifting early on. Taker goes for the chokeslam on Rock but Rock does it to him. In other words he did a Rock Bottom but didn’t go down with him. They show a close up replay and I forgot it was a chokeslam. Rock puts the ankle lock on Angle and Angle hits him with a Rock Bottom.

Taker hits an Angle Slam on Angle as we have a nice little sequence there. That wasn’t bad at all. I love it when Taker grabs a guy by the throat and throws them into the corner to punch the heck out of them. We do the standard one guy goes down and the other two fight for awhile. It does help as you can get three one on ones rather than a threeway so that’s good. Angle is bleeding. Not a bad cut either. He gets beaten back and forth between both guys.

Not bad, but this needs to pick things up a little. Oh look the referee is down and his leg hurts. Oh ok he’s already up again. Angle takes both guys out and covers Taker which is stupid as he was put down first. Taker hits the Last Ride but Angle gets the ankle lock. We use the same finish from Smackdown but now Rock is in the ankle lock. We’re fully into the whole finisher marathon segment here and it’s boring.

Rock Bottom to Taker gets two as Angle is down. Angle Slam to Taker but the Rock Bottom to Angle ends it. Meh. I would have been more interested if I didn’t know the winner beforehand. And I didn’t know because of this being 8 years ago. I knew because of the Rock/Lesnar poster they accidentally released two weeks before Rock won the title.

Rating: B-. Not bad, but DANG the whole nothing but finishers for the last 5 minutes got annoying. Rock jobbing to Lesnar was good and this set that up so I can’t complain much there. Angle was a nice placeholder I guess but this just wasn’t anything special at all. Seeing Taker do an Angle Slam was cool though. Just nothing special at all.

Overall Rating: D+. Nothing special here at all. This was a totally uninteresting show from start to finish with no great matches and 15 minutes going to HHH saying Raw rather than a long match in between. Thankfully this was the end of Hogan’s time around titles but man this was boring. The whole show just came off as uninteresting and like a waste of time. Take a pass here, although the triple threat is watchable.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Monday Night Raw – November 5, 2001: Who Jumps This Week?

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 5, 2001
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

We’re two weeks away from Survivor Series and we have most of the teams set for the Winner Take All match. Angle jumped ship last week to further WWF-ize the Alliance roster. The WWF is in chaos right now and the main event tonight is Jericho vs. Rock for the WCW Title because the person that holds that title is really going to help the WWF in their war right? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Test and Booker T beating Jericho and Rock for the tag titles, taking away the only reason they had to not kill each other.

We actually hear about Rebellion, the British PPV, where Rock and Jericho got in yet ANOTHER fight.

Here’s Vince to open the show of course. He immediately makes Jericho vs. Rock for the WCW Title later tonight so we’re automatically off to a better start than most of his promos. He wants them to beat each other up once and for all so that they can concentrate on Survivor Series. On to more important things though, as Vince says that at Survivor Series, someone is going to jump to the WWF. Apparently it’s going to be Austin. Well they certainly took the swerve out of that swerve pretty quickly.

Cue Austin who tells Vince to shut up. He didn’t believe Vince when he started and then he heard the name Steve Austin. Austin said what and wondered who Vince thought he was. He doesn’t like Vince implying that he’s jumping ship back to the WWF. Earlier Vince said he had to be Vince McMahon so Austin says he has to be himself and Stuns Vince. Austin leaves and Vince is smiling a lot.

Back from a break and the Alliance glares at Austin who says he’s not turning his back on them.

Ivory vs. Lita

It has to be better than Stacy’s match last week. Another good pop for Lita too. Ivory jumps her during the posing and takes over quickly. Legdrop gets two and Ivory stomps away some more. Lita comes back with a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. Ivory sends her into the buckle and hits a bad bulldog for the same result. This is really dull so far. Flapjack gets two for Ivory. I think Lita starts her comeback with a headscissors and leg sweep for two. Lita hits perhaps the worst clothesline I’ve ever seen as Matt and Lance Storm come out. After they do nothing of note, Ivory hits an X-Factor for the pin.

Rating: D-. What in the world was the point of this? The girls were almost wrestling in slow motion and the crowd was DEAD. That clothesline was so bad that it made some of the ones I’ve seen NFL guys use that were better. Hardy and Storm didn’t add anything and the match was just bad. It’s probably the worst Lita match I’ve ever seen.

Shane comes in to see Austin and Austin doesn’t like having to defend himself against accusations. Shane thinks someone is jumping ship at the PPV and he thinks he knows who that is. Angle comes in and Shane looks at him, prompting Angle to say that he doesn’t think Austin will jump. Kurt asks Austin if he has his back against Undertaker tonight. Austin wants to know where the hat Austin gave him is. Steve doesn’t like it but he has Kurt’s back tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Test

Edge challenged Test last night on Heat for some reason. He jumps Test on the floor to start and they head back inside for a lot of punches from both guys. Edge tries to speed things up but walks into a tilt-a-whirl slam for two as Test takes over again. After a suplex Test chokes away with the boot in the corner but walks into a spear out of nowhere. Both guys are down and it’s Edge up first.

He hits the spinwheel kick but walks into an elbow to put him down. The big boot misses and the Edge-O-Matic gets two. Edge rolls through a powerbomb for two and hits a tornado DDT for the same. He goes up again but Test shoves the referee into the ropes to crotch the champion. Test cradles Edge and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. The match was about as good as a five and a half minute match with practically no story (Test cost Edge a match last week apparently) was going to be. That’s beside the point though. At this point in WWF, there were three midcard titles (IC, US and Euro), two world titles, two tag titles, a hardcore title and two lightweight titles.

This change means nothing because Edge would just pick up the US Title a week later and unify the two midcard ones at the PPV. These title changes don’t mean anything as Edge had only held the belt 13 days so it’s not like this was the end of a long reign or something. At the end of the day, so what if Test is IC Champion? He would lose it in two weeks anyway. Oh and he’s a double champion now too.

Speaking of pointless title changes, Christian won the European Title from Bradshaw. Yeah he was European Champion for like a week. Christian defends against Hurricane tonight so here’s reporter Gregory Helms who wants to know how Christian can be considered the greatest European Champion ever when he hasn’t faced Hurricane. Helms says you might not like Hurricane when he’s angry.

Vince has an ice pack on his neck when Rock comes in. Rock wants to know what’s up with that (sorry, had Hurricane on my mind) Austin thing earlier. Vince should bring Austin back because Rock has been waiting.

European Title: Christian vs. Hurricane

So is Hurricane WWF now? Did I miss something? Christian wears a Diamondbacks jersey to rub in the World Series loss to the New York crowd. Apparently Christian won the title back on Smackdown in a dark match. See how crowded this company was around this point? Christian jumps him to start as the fans chant for the Yankees.

He pounds away and hooks an abdominal stretch but Hurricane arm drags out of it. Hurricane puts the cape on and hits the cross body for two. Christian throws him over the top but the challenger lands on his feet. Superkick gets two for Hurricane. Eye of the Hurricane is countered and the Unprettier ends this. Short and nothing.

Ad for the WWF on the Weakest Link, which was a quiz show back in the early 2000s.

Regal addresses the Alliance and says Austin won’t defect. Booker thinks RVD is going to defect so Regal makes a match between them later on.

Angle is getting ready when Stephanie comes up to him. She says she trusts him and they share a look. This would go nowhere.

US Title: Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle

Taker jumps him on the floor to start and drops some elbows for two. He takes him down in an attempt at an armbar but Angle gets to the ropes. Taker does the wristlock lift followed by a modified short arm scissors. Old School puts Angle down again but Kurt goes for the legs. He rams it into the apron a few times as Taker is being chopped down. The announcers are talking about Austin of course because the match is good, and that’s not something we can talk about.

Back in and a chop block puts Taker down. If I remember right this is around the time that Angle made Kane tap so the idea of Taker tapping isn’t that insane. Ankle lock goes on but Taker kicks away very quickly. A suplex gets two on Taker and it’s off to a front facelock. Taker is like screw this and picks Angle up for a chokeslam. He lifts the bad leg which helps a bit. Angle pops back up because the move didn’t have the same snap to it which is fine. Ankle lock goes on for a good while until Taker reverses into one of his own….and here’s Austin for the DQ.

Rating: B-. I was digging this one with Taker actually selling and the thinking being there with stuff like the lifting of the leg. The ending was about as obvious as you could get given what was said earlier, but at least the match was good up to that point. This is one of the better TV matches in a good while on this show.

Angry Angle says Austin is loyal to the Alliance (man there’s a lot of alliteration tonight). Cole suggests that what Austin just did is the same thing Angle would do to remove suspicion. Angle has to think about that one.

APA/Jacqueline vs. Dudley Boys/Stacy Keibler

This is a tables match. The Dudleys bring out the table with Stacy laying on it in a nice touch. Bradshaw and D-Von start us off because you have to tag in a match that only ends with people going through tables. The girls come in and after some cheating, Jackie gets stomped on. Everything breaks down and Bradshaw breaks up What’s Up on Farrooq before hitting a fallaway slam off the top to D-Von.

The APA brings in a table but Bubba breaks up Bradshaw’s superplex attempt on D-Von. Bubba’s powerbomb doesn’t work as Farrooq moves the table. Jackie hits Bubba low and D-Von takes the Clothesline from Bradshaw. Bubba sets up another table but has to stop to deal with Jackie. Farrooq hits the spinebuster to put Bubba through the table for the win.

Rating: D. What in the world did this match exist for? Was there a story to it that just wasn’t worth talking about? Wasn’t Bradshaw a singles champion last week at this time? Either way the match didn’t go anywhere because no one cared about it and the girls didn’t add anything either. This was pure, uninteresting filler and nothing more.

Rock says Jericho won the big one once, so let’s see you do it again tonight.

The new team of Billy and Chuck is at WWF New York.

Wrestlemania tickets went on sale this past weekend.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T

Regal is on commentary for some reason. Booker takes him down almost immediately but Van Dam gets a knockdown of his own. Spinwheel kick gets two for RVD, who is defending if that isn’t clear. Van Dam’s top rope kick puts Booker down and Rolling Thunder gets two. Tajiri comes out to beat up Regal but Booker goes out to make the save. Regal gets up and powerbombs Tajiri on the floor as Big Show comes in to clean house. The referee rings the bell and throws out the HARDCORE match. See why this whole period is considered such a mess?

Jericho says he was born on Long Island which doesn’t get much of a reaction at all. He’ll win tonight.

Desire video.

WCW World Title: The Rock vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is defending here. He slaps Rock to start and knocks him into the corner. Rock comes back with a jumping clothesline but Jericho takes him right back down again. A Samoan Drop gets two for Rock. Jericho comes back again with a middle rope dropkick for two. Rock Bottom is countered as are the Walls. Jericho dropkicks him to the floor and follows him out. This has been very back and forth so far.

Rock gets dropped on the barricade but Jericho gets crotched coming back in. A superplex brings the champion back in but it only gets two. They slug it out and Rock clotheslines him down for two. A Jericho DDT puts both guys down and Jericho hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. A backbreaker puts Rock down and Jericho chops away. The champ tries a dropkick but gets caught in the Sharpshooter.

Jericho makes the rope but walks into the spinebuster. The People’s Elbow gets loaded up but Jericho moves out of the way. Rock takes a Rock Bottom from Jericho but it only gets two. Jericho throws him to the floor and then into the steps for good measure. The champ loads up the announce table and hits the Breakdown through said table, with Rock’s head being a good six inches away from contact.

Rock is bleeding a bit as Jericho takes off the buckle pad. For some reason the referee never counted at all. Back in and Jericho sends him into the exposed buckle which doesn’t even put Rock down onto the mat. There are the Walls and after a good awhile Rock makes the rope. Jericho goes for the hold again and gets rolled up for the pin and the title for the Rock.

Rating: B. This was good but it was the abridged version of their match at No Mercy, which was much better by a few thousand miles. Jericho losing here doesn’t really make a lot of sense as he could hold the title over Rock but now there’s almost nothing at all that he can brag about. That would be somewhat resolved post match but I don’t get the idea here for the most part.

Jericho blasts Rock with a chair shot to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was almost all about building to the PPV which is a good idea, but when the build isn’t that good it doesn’t really mean much. I’d also like to point out that we’re 13 days away from the PPV and we have one match announced. The idea is supposed to be that Austin is going to jump but there isn’t much you can do to build to that before Survivor Series. This was a better show than lately but it still was nothing great.

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