Thunder
Date: January 24, 2001
Location: Lawrence Joel Memorial Coliseum, Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone

We’re still just living in Ric Flair’s WCW as he and the Elite (the unofficial name at the moment) destroy everything in sight, though to be fair it’s more interesting than the Sid Rules The World stuff we sat through for so long. It’s getting closer to SuperBrawl with Kevin Nash getting the World Title shot against Scott Steiner because we’re just that lucky. Let’s get to it.

Cruiserweight Contender Countdown

I could go for this no promo to start thing. This is basically a singles version of Tag Team Turmoil with the winner getting the title shot at SuperBrawl. Works for me. Shane Helms and Elix Skipper get things going and it’s already time to run the ropes. Elix grabs a quick suplex for two and spins off the middle rope into a legdrop for two more. The Play of the Day is countered into a Vertebreaker for the very fast pin. Oh so it’s one of those gauntlet matches.

Evan Karagias is in at #3 (of 10) and misses an early top rope Lionsault, setting up the Vertebreaker for the second pin in less than two minutes. Kidman is in at #4 and quickly knocks Shane outside for a nice plancha. Back in and a TKO into a facebuster onto the knee drops Kidman but there’s no selling since this is a cruiserweight match. Instead Kidman grabs the BK Bomb but Shane pops back up for two off the X Plex. Another Vertebreaker is countered into the Kid Crusher to get rid of Shane. They’re certainly in the “hurry up and get your stuff in” formula.

Yang is in at #5 (with a much more covered up Leia Meow) as we take a break. Back with Yang grabbing a neckbreaker across the top rope. A headscissors sends Kidman face first into the mat and Yang gets two more off something like an Iconoclasm. For absolutely no logical reason, Yang sits on the second rope to try and suplex Kidman to the floor. Instead Kidman hits a super Kid Crusher for the elimination.

It’s Jamie Noble in at #6 and scores with a missile dropkick, only to get caught in a reverse suplex. Kidman throws him down with a belly to belly suplex and takes Jamie to the top for a super Michinoku Driver and another near fall. Noble better win if they let him kick out of that. Jamie gets in a jumping tombstone to put Kidman away and Rey Mysterio is in at #7.

Rey quickly sends him outside and slides under the bottom rope into a tornado DDT on the floor. I don’t think I’ve seen him do that one since, or at least not very often. Back in and Jamie catches a springboard in a sitout powerbomb for two, only to have Rey hit his sitout bulldog. A springboard diving headbutt gets rid of Jamie and it’s Lash Leroux in at #8. Lash grabs a tilt-a-whirl side slam and a seated dropkick gets two. Rey counters what looked like a BK Bomb into a faceplant (he’s Kidman’s partner after all) before a split legged moonsault eliminates Leroux.

Shannon Moore is in at #9 with something like a springboard Rough Ryder for an early two. A Whisper in the Wind misses but Shannon lands on his feet, only to have Rey trip him down into a bridging pin to get us down to the final two. Kaz Hayashi is in at #10 and kicks the winded Rey, because a gauntlet match causes you to be winded after four minutes in the ring. A helicopter bomb gets two for Kaz but Rey sends him shoulder first into the post. Rey takes it up top for a super sitout bulldog and the pin, giving him the title shot against Chavo.

Rating: B-. These matches are hit and miss for me as they’re a lot of fun but at the same time I take issue with these clean falls taking place in about a minute each. If you can pin someone that fast here, why can’t you do it that quickly in a regular match? That being said, the match was fast paced and entertaining, which is SO much more fun than the main events that I have to watch at double speed to stay awake.

Jeff Jarrett laughs at Hugh Morrus for losing on Monday and gets punched out. Laughing ensues.

Glacier video, followed by Norman Smiley actually meeting his hero. Glacier says he has Norman’s back tonight.

Here are the Cat and Miss Jones with something to say. He announces the same three matches we already knew about for the pay per view before making Jarrett vs. Morrus and Scott Steiner/Animal vs. Kronik for tonight. That means it’s time to dance.

Ric Flair has a master plan. Can we ever have a villain with just a plan? Why does everything have to be a master plan?

Shane Douglas tells Bam Bam Bigelow that he can be in Flair’s group if he beats Rick Steiner tonight.

Norman Smiley vs. Mike Awesome

I could go for more of Major Gunns in black with the red maple leafs. No Glacier in sight and Norman looks a bit nervous. They run the ropes to start but stop. WIGGLE TIME! Awesome slowly pounds him down as the announcers discuss the improvement Awesome has undergone. Norman gets in a clothesline and loads up the Big Wiggle (Tenay: “Is he looking for Glacier?”), only to be run over again. Tony has to cut off Tenay from talking about the main event but a neck crank from Awesome pulls Tony into the 1997 style of commentary all over again.

Cue Glacier, with Tony acting like this is some huge deal. Glacier takes his sweet time (you might say he’s moving like a gl…..yeah that’s bad even for me) and stops to wave at the fans, allowing Awesome to suplex a distracted Norman. A slingshot splash gets two for Awesome, followed by a powerslam for the same. Glacier’s music is still playing as he walks around the ring. Tony: “The match is still going on. Of course it is.” The Awesome Bomb finally puts Smiley away.

Rating: D. I’m amazed but somehow this superhero worship is actually a step up over the hardcore stuff. Glacier is just a comedy guy here and that’s all he needed to be, especially given how much of a joke his first run really was. Smiley vs. Glacier could be an amusing angle but somehow Glacier would probably wind up going over.

Post match Glacier gets in the ring and tells Awesome to bring it as Mike leaves. Glacier does the post match karate demonstration and shoves Norman away.

Post match Gene Okerlund rips on Glacier, who is oblivious to everything wrong with what he just did. Norman collapses and Glacier says he’s here to clean up the evils of WCW. This was actually kind of funny.

Here are Kwee Wee and Paisley with something to say. Kwee Wee, calm again here, issues another open challenge and we’re already on a fan before he can even get the words out of his mouth. Kwee Wee drags him over the barricade and gives the plant a piledriver until security drags Kwee Wee away. If they were actually serious about pushing him, WCW would let him be Alan Funk (or any other name that doesn’t bring back Terry) and take away the pink and the glitter, but I’m sure the lack of getting over is his fault at this point.

Kronik says Animal and Steiner are going to get smoked tonight.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Hugh Morrus

Before the match, Jarrett goes on about how he’s beaten Page before and he can do it again at SuperBrawl. Morrus charges the ring and hammers away with the smile on his face. The announcers ignore the match in the first minute to talk about the main event as Morrus gets two off a powerslam.

They head outside with Jeff already resorting to cheating with a chair to the ribs. Jeff starts in on the knee but does that always stupid looking jump off the top with the sole intention of landing on a raised boot. Morrus gets in a top rope elbow but cue the Wall to try a chokeslam. That’s broken up but Jeff goes for the guitar, allowing Wall to get in the chokeslam on the second try. A Stroke gives Jeff the pin.

Rating: D+. This was better than it should have been and at least they’re going forward towards a logical match like Wall vs. Morrus. I mean, no one is going to want to see it and it won’t draw any money but at least it’s logical, which is a step up for WCW. It’s also good to see Jarrett back in the midcard where he belongs instead of teasing more World Title runs.

Ron Harris vs. Crowbar

Of course, and to make matters worse, Daffney has a megaphone. Harris starts fast by pounding Crowbar in the corner and planting him with a side slam. A quick cross body gives Crowbar two and I’d assume that’s it for his offense. Harris takes him outside for a whip into the barricade, allowing Don to get in some stomping. Back in and Ron grabs a sleeper followed by a clothesline but something like a Death Drop gives Crowbar a breather. He scores with a moonsault and it’s time for TWIN MAGIC! The neck brace switches and Don ends Crowbar with something like a Rock Bottom.

Rating: F. This is the new WCW: a place where Crowbar and Kwee Wee, who have worked very hard to get over the genius characters of as close to gay as we can get without saying it and battling car wash guy who thinks it’s 1974, are treated like morons and jobbers because RICK STEINER, LEX LUGER AND THE FREAKING HARRIS TWINS need pushes. In other words, take every single problem WCW has had with its booking over the years and do it again because we need to show how it’s going to be different this time.

Rick Steiner is willing to beat up Bam Bam Bigelow to prove a message to Shane Douglas.

We go to a long video of Tenay meeting with an orthopedic surgeon to talk about Sid’s leg injury. Basically he snapped it like a pencil and will be on crutches for up to three months and then in therapy for up to a year. Like Sid or not, that’s one of the worst injuries you’ll ever see.

Rick Steiner vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

If Bigelow wins, he’s on Flair’s team. They slug it out to start until Rick grabs a belly to belly, followed by a Steiner Line and another belly to belly. Good to see he’s going versatile this week. Bigelow comes back with a quick slam and the flying headbutt hits way too early. Greetings From Asbury Park is countered with a DDT, followed by an elbow drop for two. Another DDT sets up the Steiner Bulldog for the pin, despite Bigelow not really being touched as he went down.

Ric Flair knocks out the Cat with brass knuckles. We also see Nash and Page laid out.

Rick Steiner tells Kronik to go to the ring for the main event while he takes care of these three. So he’s a repetitive wrestler and a trained medic? Shane comes in and hits Rick with his chain.

Kronik vs. Scott Steiner/Road Warrior Animal

Before the match, Steiner yells at Kronik for making a horrible decision. He’s ready for Nash too because Nash is going to get the same treatment that Booker T. and Sting received. Animal and Clark get things going, preventing that LOD vs. Demolition reunion showdown that we were all looking forward to. Stereo shoulders give us a stalemate so Animal’s clothesline and elbow drop get two.

Adams comes in and we get the REAL showdown, only to have Animal bring in Steiner to stomp on Adams in the corner. A quick full nelson slam puts Scott down and the heels bail outside where Clark takes them down with a flip dive off the apron. Back in and Scott plants him with a butterfly powerbomb, meaning it’s time for the push-ups.

Steiner charges into a boot though and the hot tag (Tenay’s words) brings in Clark to clean house. The Meltdown gets two on Animal but here’s Totally Buff to break up High Times. Animal breaks up the full nelson slam as Buff chokes Cat on the floor. Now the High Times is good enough to pin Animal. Tenay pushes this as a major upset, despite Kronik being former multiple time Tag Team Champions and Steiner/Animal never teaming before.

Rating: D. I actually didn’t hate this as there’s a simple idea here and the younger (I think?) guys went over clean. It gets really tiring seeing an established team losing to two guys who happen to be good tag wrestlers with their regular partners but WCW actually went with the logical ending here. I’m as shocked as you are but this could have been a lot worse.

Steiner comes back in with the pipe to beat Kronik down and end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I know the running line about WCW is that everything goes down after the cruiserweights but this was one of the worst cases I’ve seen in a long time. This Elite story isn’t even warmed over NWO at its best and the wrestling is getting weaker and weaker every single show. At the end of the day though, it’s seeing people like the Harris Twins, Totally Buff and Rick Steiner getting so much TV time. These people just are not interesting and it’s showing more and more with each passing show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #273
Date: January 15, 2001
Location: Allen County Coliseum, Fort Wayne, Indiana
Attendance: 4,836
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

We’re past Sin and heading towards SuperBrawl with the big story being Scott Steiner retaining the World Title after Sid Vicious broke his leg. However the interesting thing (work with me here) was the Mystery Man being revealed as Animal, who sided with Steiner and Jeff Jarrett. Oh and Goldberg is retired. Forever. Let’s get to it.

Of note: this is the first TV show under the new Eric Bischoff regime. He had some influence on last night’s pay per view but I’m not sure if it was full control or not.

Quick recap of the World Title match and Goldberg’s loss.

We see some exclusive footage from after the show with Ric Flair hugging Steiner as Buff Bagwell and Lex Luger watch on. So yeah, Flair is the big villain again.

The announcers recap the big stories of last night and show us the HORRIBLY graphic footage of Sid’s leg being snapped like a twig. That still makes me cringe.

Here are Luger and Bagwell in suits to what sounds like a funeral march. A group of jobbers follow them out with a coffin and we get an In Memory Of graphic for Goldberg. The announcers continue to act all shocked that Flair was behind it. HE’S RIC FLAIR. HE’S EVIL. Why does this continue to surprise you? Bagwell cries as the casket is opened to reveal…..a copy of Goldberg’s book, a spear and a jackhammer. The fans are absolutely livid over this stuff so points for getting the fans to boo.

Luger thinks Goldberg would have wanted this outpouring of emotion because they were great friends. The music is still playing as Bagwell tries to get the fans to keep chanting GOLDBERG. Luger asks if anyone has a special Goldberg story and would like to let us hear it so here’s a crying Jarrett to put a guitar on top of the casket. Jarrett has one memory above all others and eventually gets around to talking about how Goldberg never beat him. Goldberg is a long list of adjectives slap nuts and Tony freaks out that no one can stop this from continuing.

Now it’s time for Scott Steiner to come out with Midajah, who is wearing a veil for a bizarrely creepy look. Steiner takes credit for getting rid of Sid before switching over to Goldberg. Scott didn’t hurt him but at Fall Brawl, he gave Goldberg the worst defeat of his career. Goldberg just wasn’t man enough to stay on top so there’s no rematch. For a genuinely awesome evil moment, Steiner spits in the coffin….and there’s Goldberg’s music.

We cut to his locker room door and it’s Ric Flair and Animal coming out. After a break (oh yeah this is going on for a LONG time) Flair is in the ring to say this is the NEW WCW. Flair goes on about how awesome a collection of talent we have here and how he was behind the Tag Team Title change, the demise of Goldberg and Sid’s injury. The announcers are still shocked that Flair did this.

Flair talks about all the great wrestlers they have and how any of them could destroy anyone at any given time. Tony brings up an important question: WHY DID FLAIR DO THIS??? He’s been talking for a good while now and there hasn’t been an actual explanation for why he did all of this. It doesn’t get any better as Flair says he’ll be interviewing everyone all night long and gets to find out their stance: they can either become one of the group or be handed over to them.

Cue Kevin Nash to say he left Big Sexy back in Indianapolis and brought the killer here instead. Nash is sounding far more intense than usual here. Tonight he wants to face Steiner before he comes to kill Flair. Nash isn’t alone either as here are Diamond Dallas Page and Rick Steiner (great) to help even things up a bit. Kevin says he wants a title shot against Scott tonight but Flair says he makes the matches.

Cue Commissioner Cat to say not so fast because the title match is on, FINALLY ending this segment at nearly half an hour. Good grief people. I know it’s a new regime but we shouldn’t be a fourth of the way into the show after one segment, especially when we didn’t even get a reason for why Flair did all this. Nash and Page as the top faces make sense as there’s the simple problem of there being no one else around to fill the spots. I’m fine with the latest NWO story but this could have been cut WAY down.

After a break, Flair asks Crowbar if he’s going to be a team player. Crowbar says he’s always been a loner so he’s going to keep doing that way. Apparently Flair is going to give him a chance to prove his skills right now.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Crowbar

Chavo is defending and I’m oddly intrigued by this. Feeling out process to start before the champ getting in a kick to the face, followed by a top rope hurricanrana. The announcers keep wondering how Crowbar is going to be able to fight without trashcans. So are chairs just not good enough for them anymore? Chavo dives off the apron to take Crowbar down again but that means the fight heads outside where Crowbar is in better shape.

Back in and a slingshot legdrop gets two on the champ, only to have Chavo come back with chops and uppercuts. A Death Valley Driver plants Chavo for a delayed two but he blocks a top rope hurricanrana to get a breather. The tornado DDT is broken up as well and Crowbar gets a near fall off a northern lights suplex. Chavo is sent out to the floor again and Crowbar scores with his apron splash. Instead of going for the pin though, it’s time for a chair but Chavo slingshots out to drive Crowbar face first into the chair. Somehow that’s not a DQ so Chavo takes him back inside for the tornado DDT to retain.

Rating: C+. Stupid ending aside, this was still entertaining enough and that’s all it needed to be for the story. I’m assuming Crowbar isn’t going to get the invite to the new stable, which thankfully means he isn’t the nothing wrestler that WCW has presented him as for months. Good little match here as Chavo continues to get better and better every week.

Bam Bam Bigelow (He still works here?) accepts Totally Buff’s offer to be on the team.

Rey Mysteiro Jr./Billy Kidman vs. 3 Count

Again, this should be good. They start fast with some 3 Count miscommunication to give the Animals some early control. Shane hurricanranas Kidman out to the floor, leaving Rey to take a sitout powerbomb/neckbreaker combo for two. Kidman is right back in for the save and it’s a Bronco Buster for Helms.

There are no tags anywhere in sight so far. Shannon takes Kidman out with a flip dive and lands on his feet just to show off. Rey dives on both of them before Shane dives on all three of them. Back in and Kidman snaps off a top rope hurricanrana for two but eats a superkick from Shane. The Vertebreaker is broken up to prevent broken vertebrates and Kidman adds the Kid Crusher for the pin.

Rating: B. There were no tags in the entire match but sweet goodness this felt like an old cruiserweight match for the first time in far too long. It’s really cool to see Mysterio and Kidman show off how awesome they can still be in the ring while 3 Count can more than go with anyone. Really fun stuff here, even though it barely broke three minutes.

Post match Team Canada runs in to go after the Animals because this feud is still going. Storm grabs the mic and asks Kidman if he wants a hair vs. hair match against Mike Awesome. Kidman accepts, giving us what could be one heck of a match.

Cat thanks Kronik for their help last night and gives them a Tag Team Title match as a reward. No charge for this one.

Team Canada beats Kidman down.

Flair offers Chavo a spot on the team, which still seems to be called The New WCW. Chavo doesn’t seem interested but Ric tells him to go chase the Nitro Girls and have some tequila before they talk about it tomorrow. Chavo leaves and Mike Sanders comes in to suck up but Ric thinks he was just trying to make a spot. Flair makes him his new pet project to make him the new Dirtiest Player in the Game. Oh and don’t worry about Kronik getting the Tag Team Titles back.

Totally Buff goes up to General Rection because we haven’t flown through enough stuff tonight. Rection doesn’t say anything and looks a bit stunned.

Tag Team Titles; Kronik vs. Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo

Kronik is challenging. Palumbo punches Adams around to start but gets thrown to the floor, allowing Clark to hit his flip dive off the apron. Tony: “HAS HE EVER DONE THAT???” Scott: “Of course he has.” It’s off to O’Haire vs. Adams with the full nelson slam planting the champ for two. Clark comes in for some chops as the announcers say any move could be your last as Sid proved last night. Palumbo gets the tag and is promptly suplexed, only to have O’Haire break up the Meltdown.

Adams tries to come in but the distraction just lets Sean nail Clark in the back of the head. A DDT plants O’Haire though and the hot tag brings in Adams as everything breaks down. High Time gets two on Sean with Chuck making the last second save. Cue Jindrak and Stasiak for a distraction though, allowing Palumbo to score with the Jungle Kick on Adams. Clark gets beaten down on the floor (Hudson: “WHERE IS THE REFEREE?”) as Adams is superplexed to set up the Seanton Bomb for the pin to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. They kept this moving to make sure people didn’t realize how weak Kronik becomes in an actual match but you knew the screwy finish was coming. Thankfully they have the titles on the best pairing as Jindrak and Stasiak are some of the least interesting guys I’ve seen in a good while.

Kidman can’t wrestle so Konnan is taking his place.

O’Haire and Palumbo yell at Jindrak and Stasiak because they didn’t need the help. Sanders and Reno come in to make peace.

Konnan vs. Mike Awesome

Hair vs. hair…..so I guess Kidman’s hair is on the line since Konnan is bald. Indeed that’s the case with Flair popping up on screen to make that clear. Konnan gets beaten down in the corner to start until he snaps off a headscissors to take over. Awesome stops a charge in the corner with a raised boot and a belly to back suplex gets two. Back up and Konnan wristdrags him out of the corner and it’s time to fight on the floor.

Awesome chairs him in the ribs but dives off the steps right into a chair shot to the head. Back in and Mike raises a boot to stop Konnan (looked horrible as Konnan had already landed when he hit the boot), only to have the Awesome Bomb countered into a faceplant (nice nod to Kidman, who can’t be powerbombed you see). A spinebuster sets up the Awesome Splash for two so Awesome goes back up, only to get caught in a super DDT for the pin and Mike’s hair.

Rating: C-. Dang it I really wanted to see Kidman vs. Awesome but instead we got Konnan’s slow offense to mess things up. Kicking out of the Awesome Splash was a big stretch, especially when you could probably have done the same thing with the splash missing but why do that when you can push Konnan harder?

Post match Konnan snips off the back of Awesome’s hair until Team Canada makes the save.

Chavo tries to talk to Rection but the General really doesn’t want to hear it.

Storm tells Awesome that they’ll get the last laugh.

Tickets go on sale for SuperBrawl: Revenge (great title) on Saturday, or less than a month before the show.

Here’s Cat to say send someone out here for him to fight.

The Cat vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Bigelow runs him over and stomps away with a belly to back getting two. The announcers talk about how important this match is as Bigelow chokes away, only to miss a charge in the corner. A chop and the dancing elbow get two on the big man, followed by the Feliner for the very quick pin.

Post match it’s dance time.

US Title: Shane Douglas vs. General Rection

Shane is defending after winning the title last night. Before the match, Shane asks how the fans like him now. Apparently the title weighs 16lbs. Good piece of trivia. Rection starts with right hands and clotheslines for two but Shane comes back with right hands of his own. That’s fine with Rection who wins a slugout and kicks Shane in the ribs. The top rope elbow misses though as Rection takes too much time getting to the top. It’s already chain time but Rection gets to his feet and press slams Shane before throwing the chain out. Cue Chavo to sneak in a chain shot so Shane can get the cheap pin to retain the title.

Post break Rection holds his head and almost cries about how much he wants to fight Chavo. He’s tired of being General Rection or Hugh Morrus but he’s going to finish Chavo’s career. Hopefully that means it’s time for a better name. Like one that’s not a pun.

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner is defending and I think you know what’s coming here. Scott easily takes him into the corner and hammers away to start before Nash spins him around and does the same. A clothesline puts Scott outside and an angry Nash stays on him with the right hands. I’d be mad too if I was asked to wrestle twice in one night.

Scott gets in a shot to the ribs and a spinning belly to belly gets two back inside. The Push-Up Elbow lets the champ show off a bit and a delayed backbreaker sets up a bow and arrow hold. Nash starts fighting up and scores with the side slam but can’t cover because he’s gassed after three and a half minutes. Snake Eyes and the big boot set up the Jackknife and here come the troops for the DQ.

Rating: C. Shockingly watchable match here with both guys working hard and faster than I’ve seen in a long time. Of course the lack of any drama about the ending didn’t help things but that’s par for the WCW course. Still though, for who was in there and how the ending was going to go, this was a glorified miracle.

The remaining good guys come in for the brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Yeah it was actually good and it’s a strong sign for the start of the Bischoff regime. Unfortunately it’s nothing we haven’t seen before and I have no reason to believe that WCW won’t screw this up by the time Thunder airs in two days. The new NWO isn’t going to last long with Lex Luger and Jeff Jarrett as the second and third in command but at least it’s something coherent and focused for a change, which is a far cry from the disasters that WCW tends to put on.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Today we’re looking at one of the best tag teams of all time: Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard.

The team was put together actually to save time as there wasn’t enough space for all the interviews needed. Along with Ric Flair and Ole Anderson, Arn uttered something like “not since the four horsemen of the apocalypse has there been this much destruction.” Arn and Tully were put together as a team and had some incredible success, often listed among the greatest combinations of all time. We’ll start at Starrcade 1987 against the most dominant team of all time.

Tag Titles: Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard vs. Road Warriors

The Warriors are challenging in their hometown of Chicago. Arn and Hawk start things off with Hawk taking him down via a top wristlock. Anderson is sent to the floor for a staredown with the Warriors’ manager Paul Ellering. Off to Tully who is almost immediately sent to the floor. Animal will have none of this stalling though and sends him right back inside. Hawk pounds away even more and hits a dropkick for a quick near fall.

Off to Animal who catches Blanchard coming in off the top in a powerslam for another two count. Arn comes back in and manages to avoid a charge in the corner, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline from Animal. Blanchard tries to come in but gets punched right in the jaw as well. Both Horsemen try to go after Hawk, only to get clotheslined down for a near fall on Blanchard. Total dominance by the Warriors so far.

Back to Animal for a bearhug plus a right hand from Hawk. Animal drops Tully down and Blanchard goes bailing to the corner. A dropkick to the ribs puts Blanchard down again so he tags in Anderson. Animal has to chase Arn on the floor before coming back inside to gorilla press him down. A press slam on Tully by Hawk is broken up by Arn hitting Hawk in the knee and the Horsemen FINALLY take over.

Tully adds in a chair shot to Hawk’s knee on the floor and a DDT gets two for Arn back in the ring. Blanchard’s figure four is countered into a small package so Tully pounds on the knee a bit more instead. Arn’s spinning toehold is broken up but here’s Tully again for the figure four. For some reason he tags in Anderson with Hawk still in the hold, and it’s Anderson who gets crotched to allow the hot tag to Animal. Everything breaks down and Tully accidentally knocks the referee to the floor before Hawk throws Anderson the floor. Back in and there’s the Doomsday Device on Arn for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. This took awhile to get going but once the Road Warriors got rolling it got awesome in a hurry. They’re such a physical and dominant team that it’s almost impossible to not get fired up watching them. The leg work here by the Horsemen was much more interesting than say the arm work by Taylor, as they have the size and ability to make you believe the Warriors were in trouble.

Oh and scratch that title change because Anderson was thrown over the top, meaning the Warriors are disqualified and the Horsemen keep the belts. Say it with me: Dusty Finish. The fans boo this out of the building and with good reason. Who does this help? The Warriors look inept because they didn’t get the win, the Horsemen look like weak champions because they got pinned, and the fans are mad because at STARRCADE we can’t change the belts. Just a dumb idea all around.

Here they are defending the belts again at Clash of the Champions I.

World Tag Team Titles: Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard vs. Lex Luger/Barry Windham

Anderson and Blanchard are defending and Windham and Luger are incredibly popular due to the Horsemen (the champions) kicking him out of the team for reasons explained earlier. Luger starts with Tully and pushes him down with ease. The champions try some double teaming but both get clotheslined followed by a powerslam to Blanchard. Lex puts Tully in his Torture Rack finisher but Anderson kicks Luger in the knee for the save. Arn comes in and goes after the knee before it’s back to Tully for more of the same.

Lex sends the Horsemen into each other and Tully can’t stop the hot tag to Windham. Barry cleans house and hits the lariat followed by a powerslam for two on Blanchard. Ross is losing his mind on commentary as only he can. A sleeper nearly puts Blanchard out but Barry lets him fall to the floor for a breather. Back in and Tully goes up but gets slammed down and put in an abdominal stretch. Arn makes the save and Horsemen manager JJ Dillon distracts the referee, allowing Anderson to DDT Windham for a very close two.

Anderson tries to hold Windham’s shoulder down for two but jumps in the air, allowing Barry to raise his knees and crotch Arn for a breather. Tully breaks up another tag attempt but gets caught by a cross body for two. They run the ropes a few times and collide, knocking both guys down to the mat. A gutwrench suplex puts Tully down again and it’s back to Anderson who misses a knee drop and gets popped with a right hand. Windham is spent though and collapses before making the tag.

Tully comes in again and hits his slingshot suplex finisher for a close two on Barry. Anderson comes in off the tag but Barry goes over to the corner and falls into the tag to Luger. Lex cleans house again and sends the champions into each other but Tully gets in a knee to the back to slow him down. Luger shrugs it off and snaps off the powerslam as everything breaks down. Dillon holds up a chair in the corner but Luger reverses a whip to send Arn head first into the steel for the pin and the titles. The crowd reaction for the pin is other worldly as the Horsemen were despised at this point.

Rating: B. This was the kind of match the show needed to make it historic as the Horsemen had held the titles for months on end and Luger was the man that needed to take them away. Barry was making the match work here before Luger came in to clean house at the end. That’s a good formula for someone like Luger and the result worked well.

There was an annual tag team tournament from 1986-1988 called the Jim Crockett Sr. Memorial Tag Team Tournament. Here are Arn and Tully in the 1988 edition.

Crockett Cup Semifinals – Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard vs. Fantastics

This should be awesome. Rogers vs. Blanchard to get us going and as usual the Horsemen don’t start out that well. Double teaming puts Blanchard down and the Fantastics dance a bit. Off to Arn vs. Fulton as the champions take over. Fulton is sent into the post on the floor and rolls back in to get beaten up by Blanchard a bit more. Fulton’s tights are half down.

The heels naturally cheat because they’re Horsemen and that’s what they do. Anderson comes in and pounds away even more, but it’s Fulton with a facejam and there’s the hot tag to Rodgers. The Fantastics hit double dropkicks all around and the Rocket Launcher hits Anderson but he’s illegal. Teddy counts it for two anyway and Tully makes the save. Anderson pops in with JJ’s shoe and that’s enough to pin Rodgers.

Rating: C+. Short but it’s still pretty easily the best tournament match of the night so far. The Horsemen vs. Luger/Sting is something you really can’t screw up and I don’t think they will here. Not a classic or anything like that but it’s still a pretty solid match. There was clipping but that’s the nature of the beast on this show.

And the finals.

Crockett Cup Final: Sting/Lex Luger vs. Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard

The winner gets a million bucks. Tully vs. Luger to start which is fine for me. Off to Anderson quickly and it’s all Luger with him even busting out a dropkick of all things. Anderson makes a tag while on the floor which doesn’t count because it, you know, illegal. Off to Sting vs. Tully and even Magnum gets in a shot which just feels right. All sting/Luger for the first few minutes here.

Back to Lex and Anderson with some stuff clipped I think. Luger works on Anderson’s arm just like he’s an Anderson. Gee it’s like he learned something during his time in the Horsemen and is incorporating it into his offense now. What black magic is this??? Back to Sting who works on the arm again but the Splash misses in the corner. Back to the fresh Tully who throws Sting over the top for a not-DQ because Dillon had the referee. See how much a manager can help?

Spinebuster puts Sting down and draws some WOOs from the crowd. Not sure I get that one. It turns into a standard tag match now and Sting grabs a Stinger Splash out of nowhere but messes up the Deathlock so Anderson is able to make the save. There’s your tag to Luger and everything breaks down. Magnum trips Anderson and the distraction is enough for Luger to roll him up for the pin and the tournament win.

Rating: C+. Just a regular tag match here for the most part but the crowd carried this a lot. Sting against the Horsemen just felt right which is why I never quite got him being part of them later, even when they were faces. The crowd wasn’t as burned out as you would expect as this was the second night of the tournament which helped A LOT.

From Clash of the Champions II.

World Tag Team Titles: Sting/Dusty Rhodes vs. Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard

Sting and Rhodes are challenging of course and Dusty is nearing the end of his run with the promotion. Sting starts with Anderson and counters the wristlock in the same way he did to Flair at the first Clash. Arn bails to the floor for a breather and the fans are WAY into Sting here. Back in and Anderson throws Sting to the floor, only to miss a charge into the post. Sting wraps Arn’s arm around the post and cranks on it back inside for good measure.

The champions tag to bring in Tully but Sting slams him down twice in a row and tags in Dusty to an even bigger ovation from the crowd. Rhodes cleans house with punches to the face and Blanchard is in trouble in the corner. A big elbow to the head puts him down and Dusty puts on his pretty bad looking Figure Four. The hold is short lived though as a JJ Dillon distraction lets Anderson make the save and send Dusty to the floor.

Sting immediately comes over for the save and Dusty gets back inside, only to take a beating from Tully. Rhodes scores with a shoulder block and a dropkick without much air under it. Back to Sting to take over with a Stinger Splash to Blanchard but Anderson breaks up the Deathlock attempt. The Horsemen drop Sting onto the barricade to stop his momentum and Anderson drives an elbow into his back for two.

A middle rope splash hits Sting’s knees but more Horsemen double teaming stops the hot tag to Rhodes. Tully can’t get a sunset flip but Arn clotheslines Sting down to the mat for two. Blanchard sends Sting back to the floor and Anderson gets in a quick DDT on the concrete to knock Sting out cold. Dillon throws Sting back in but the referee is with Dusty, allowing Sting to kick out at two.

A backslide gets the same on Arn but he’s able to tag out while still being counted. It’s amazing how efficient the Horsemen were at teaming and that’s a great example of their skill. Sting catches Tully in a hot shot and now Dusty comes in off the tag. The fans suddenly believe the championships are in trouble and everything breaks down. The referee gets bumped and Barry Windham and Ric Flair run in for the disqualification.

Rating: D+. The fans helped this a lot but it wasn’t a great match from a technical standpoint. There was a good chance of a title change here given what happened at the previous Clash, which sets a good precedent for future shows in this series. It’s also a good sign that Sting is in another main event here and is being treated like a big deal and threats to titles.

Sting had a new partner at the Great American Bash 1988.

World Tag Titles: Sting/Nikita Koloff vs. Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard

No entrance for the champions. Koloff has a full head of hair and it’s not working for him at all. Sting has burst onto the national scene with his classic at the first Clash so the crowd is white hot. They clear the ring quickly but the Horsemen are all like BRING IT ON. Sting nails a dropkick to send Arn to the floor and then hits a plancha (remember this is 1988) and takes Anderson out.

They’re the official starters and it’s off to Nikita for some arm work quickly. Koloff fakes Anderson out and hits Sickles on both Horsemen but doesn’t cover until late and Arn gets his foot on the ropes. Those idiot Lithuanians. Sting comes in and it’s back to the arm. The Horsemen try to double team Sting with stereo top wristlocks but Sting is like screw that and backflips out of it. He was so fast and so athletic back in the day that no one could touch him.

Tully comes in and finds his arm being yanked on too. Nikita works him to the mat with ease and gets some two counts. Tony and Jim talk about the continuity of the challengers being great which is a surprise. It’s so nice to hear guys talking about the match and analyzing it instead of having them rant and rave about stuff that has nothing to do with it. Blanchard misses a charge into the corner and goes into the post shoulder first.

Anderson manages to slap Tully’s boot but that doesn’t count. I wonder what you actually have to do to have a tag count. That’s an interesting question. Anyway back to Sting after a fake tag (he did the clapping thing) as Tully still can’t get out. We’re 10 minutes into this and it’s been all Sting and Koloff, which is an old formula in the NWA and I’d bet we see it again in Luger vs. Flair later.

Koloff and Blanchard go to the mat and Anderson FINALLY gets the tag but Nikita rolls to his own corner to further frustrate Arn. Koloff takes Anderson to the mat quickly but the Horsemen get in some shots to the knee to FINALLY slow things down. That lasts about five seconds as Koloff and Blanchard collide and go to the floor together. Nikita suplexes him in for two but JJ makes the save. Koloff tries to drill him but clotheslines the post instead and there’s your match changing moment.

You don’t have to tell Arn twice that someone has a bad arm so he sends Koloff’s arm into the post again and Tully pounces. Off to Anderson for the hammerlock slam (called vintage by JR). There are five minutes left and that should tell you what the ending is going to be right away. Koloff fights up but gets caught in a DDT for a pop. That’s still a very popular move at this point but it only gets two here.

Tully and Arn keep working on the arm but they can’t seem to pick which arm that it’s supposed to be. Blanchard hooks on an armbar and we have three minutes to go. Arn tries a Vader Bomb but jumps into knees and the hot tag gets a big pop. We’re under two minutes and Sting is dominating. Sting dropkicks Tully and hits the splash but Arn makes a tag to kill the crowd dead. The one minute mark brings a sleeper to Arn but Tully tries a top rope sunset flip which Sting blocks. Sting hits the splash and gets the Scorpion on Blanchard but time runs out and it’s a draw.

Rating: B-. Solid stuff here but with five minutes to go everyone knew it was going to be a draw. Also the first 10 minutes or so are mainly armbars but Sting was such a popular and charismatic guy that he was able to carry the whole thing through to that point. Nikita helped as well as he knew how to work a crowd like few others. Good opener though, although I’m not sure if they should have kept the titles on the Horsemen or not.

The team would leave the NWA over various issues and head to the WWF as the Brain Busters. Here’s their debut on Superstars, October 22, 1988.

Brain Busters vs. Bob Emery/Tommy Angel

Tully shoves I think Angel around and brings in Arn for a slam. Anderson sends him into a dropkick from Blanchard as the destuction begins. Arn ducks a middle rope cross body and throws Angel over to Emery for a tag, knowing Tommy can’t touch him. The slingshot suplex ends Bob quick.

Brainbusters vs. Rockers

Arn takes Shawn down to start with a little pull of the hair. Lord Alfred Hayes gets the Rockers screwed up somehow as Arn pops Marty in the jaw. Shawn sends Anderson to the floor so Marty can give him a few receipts as everything breaks down. The Rockers clean house until it’s Shawn hammering on Arn’s jaw and slapping him in the face. Hayes FINALLY gets the Rockers straight as they bail to the floor to frustrate the Brainbusters.

Shawn vs. Tully now as things slow down with Michaels cranking on an armbar. Marty comes in and uses the same hold to draw in Arn, allowing the Rockers to change without a tag. The Busters try to change without a tag but the referee won’t allow it. Classic bit but it still works. Blanchard cranks on Marty’s arm and Anderson tries to come in again, only to have the heels gets dropkicked outside. They come right back in and try a double suplex on Jannetty but Shawn catches his partner and a double superkick sent the Busters to the floor.

Back in and Anderson gets in a knee to Shawn’s back as the heels take over. Shawn moonsaults over Arn in the corner and gets two off a hurricanrana as everything breaks down. A double dropkick apiece puts the Busters on the floor again as the fans are getting into this. Tully comes back in but gets the slingshot suplex countered into a rollup for two. He and Shawn head outside again where Arn gets in a cheap shot on Shawn as the heels take over for real this time.

Arn sends Shawn into Tully’s knee in the corner and we hit the chinlock on Michaels. Shawn flips Tully over but it’s Arn coming right back in with a shot to the back. He misses a series of elbow drops and gets caught in a sunset flip but is able to walk over to Tully for the tag before Shawn can take him down. Blanchard sends Shawn to the floor but gets rammed face first into the buckle. A top rope cross body gets two for Michaels but Arn breaks up another hot tag attempt.

We hit the abdominal stretch and the Busters actually get caught changing without tagging. Not that it matters as Arn puts Michaels in a reverse chinlock to draw Marty back in so Tully can get in a cheap shot. Tully comes in and takes it to the mat but gets caught in a backslide for two. Shawn dives for the tag but can’t slap Marty’s hand to keep the beating going.

The spinebuster from Anderson (called a body to body suplex) gets two but Anderson crotches himself on Shawn’s knees. Marty FINALLY comes in to clean house as everything breaks down. It’s the Wrestlemania V finish with Marty suplexing Blanchard but Arn trips him up and holds the boot to give Tully the pin. Nice touch as Heenan was the Busters’ manager and would use that finish to get the Intercontinental Title a few months later.

Rating: B. This is 1980s tag team wrestling done at a high level, meaning it’s going to be hard to top it. The Rockers would get better and there could have been more drama at the end, but this was an entertaining old school match with a nice heat segment on Michaels. As always it’s the classic formula: make the fans want to see Shawn tag and they’ll cheer when he gets there. It’s worked for nearly 30 years and it’ll work today.

Off to SNME, starting with XX.

Brainbusters vs. Rockers

Slingshot suplex is countered maybe 2 seconds in. This is insanity from the get go. Shawn nips up and catches Arn coming off the top. Just incredibly fast paced stuff here with Shawn and Tully putting on a clinic out there. One of the reasons the Brainbusters were awesome was that they could wrestle absolutely any style from fast to slow to ground to aerial to submission to brawling or whatever. Heenan pulls the top rope down and Shawn goes over so Brain is tossed.

After a break the Busters get a blind tag and Arn drills Jannetty to take over for his team. Marty gets beaten down for a little while but the hot tag to Shawn evens things out all over again. It falls apart and Shawn freaking DIVES over the ropes to get at Arn, throwing punches as he goes down. It’s a double count out but that’s fine as neither team should lose here.

Rating: B. I really liked this and thought about going a bit higher. This was a very fast paced match and a way to show off both of these teams for how awesome they really were. The Rockers would remain awesome for a good while as would the Busters. How did the Rockers never officially win the tag belts? It’s saying a lot that the Harts and other teams were that much better.

Off to Wrestlemania V.

Brain Busters vs. Strike Force

This is the return of Strike Force after Martel had a bad injury. Blanchard and Martel start things off and Rick almost immediately has to punch out of the wrong corner. Off to Anderson who gets rammed face first into the mat before being put in his own test of strength on the mat. Arn catches Martel in a body scissors but Rick turns it over into his signature Boston Crab.

Blanchard makes the save but Tito immediately comes in to put him in the Figure Four. Martel puts one on Anderson as well as things break down. We get some near falls by Tito but he accidentally hits the forearm on Martel to take him out. Rick gets ticked off as Tito is basically in a handicap match. The Busters get to take over on Tito but you know Santana can hang with either guy.

Arn goes up but gets slammed down, allowing Tito to set up a hot tag to….no one. Martel drops down to the floor and walks out on his partner, officially making it a handicap match. The yet to be named spinebuster from Anderson plants Tito and it’s back to Blanchard. Tully blocks a monkey flip and the spike piledriver kills Tito dead for the pin.

Rating: B-. Best match of the night so far as all four guys were moving out there. Tito could go with the best of them and he had some of the best of them to do that with in this one. Martel and Santana would feud on and off for about a year until they just stopped fighting out of nowhere.

More SNME with XXII.

Tag Titles: Brainbusters vs. Demolition

So last SNME there was a solid match where the Busters had Demolition in trouble but Demolition got disqualified, intentionally or not is up for debate. Demolition says they’ll demolish them. They’ve held the belts since Mania 4 so it’s been a LONG time, actually the longest reign with the belts ever. This is 2/3 falls mind you. Tully and Axe start us off. I never felt comfortable with the Horsemen in WWF. It just didn’t feel right at all.

It’s ALL Demolition to start which should tell you something. Smash grabs a boot coming down at him which is something straight out of an 80s action movie. Smash apparently has an injured knee. Uh, sure. They just kind of said it was injured and then it isn’t anymore. Ok then. Anderson hits the spinebuster which doesn’t have a name yet. Smash gets a hot shot on Arn for a pin to get the first fall. That came a bit out of nowhere.

After a break it’s time for the second fall. There was no rest though as the perk of SNME was that since it was taped there was no wrestling during the break. As in it would pick up right where it was left off. We get a lot of double teaming on both sides and it gives the heels the advantage. A horrible camel clutch does nothing of note. In the middle of the insanity, Andre comes down and does nothing and Demolition is disqualified for double teaming to tie us up. This is a mess to put it mildly.

Now if Demolition is DQ’ed or counted out here, the titles don’t change hands. The heels do the old British Bulldogs move of ramming one guy’s head into his own partners’ which works well here. Axe takes over again but in a stupid looking moment he hits an atomic drop and rams his head into Arn’s. Both get hot tags though and this needs to end. It’s ANOTHER big mess but Andre throws in a chair for Tully which gets the pin and the titles to end the nearly year and a half reign with the titles for Demolition.

Rating: D. WOW this was a mess. It’s not particularly bad, but we get it: THEY CAN BRAWL. There’s far more brawling in this than wrestling which is rare as hell for this era. The match could have worked as it’s not like the Brainbusters couldn’t wrestle or something like that. This was just a mess the whole time and it didn’t do it for me.

And now for the Busters’ last major match forever due to Tully failing a drug test. From SNME XXIV.

Brainbusters vs. The Rockers

This is 2/3 falls. Before the match we have a commercial and since this is from 1989, there’s an ad for Batman now on VHS! Tully was in black before the break and is in red now. I love stuff like that. Jannetty and Blanchard start us off and it’s all drug addict. Wait…might need some more explanation there. Blanchard was forced to retire just after this due to a failed test. Jannetty gets a sunset flip for the pin on Tully for the first fall in like a minute and a half after some basic stuff.

Bobby is TICKED at them and leaves them on their own. The Rockers clean house and work on Arn. This is the sharpest they’ve ever looked and it’s working great. Shawn goes too fast and gets a hot shot to even us up as Jesse leaves to talk to Heenan.

Back from the break and Jesse has found Bobby. He says this is the worst team he’s ever worked with, which is saying a lot given that he had Red Rooster and Brooklyn Brawler for awhile. Bobby fires them more or less which makes sense as this is their final match with the company.

Shawn is hurt to start the third fall and is in there with Tully. I feel sorry for him. SICK spinebuster on Shawn which didn’t have a name at this point. Shawn plays Ricky Morton here but makes the tag and literally brings the crowd to their feet. Shawn stops a spike piledriver and hits a high cross body on Arn to win it.

Rating: C-. Not great but this was about the angle more than anything else. The Rockers could have been any team here but they were fun and exciting and were in the Heenan Family match at Survivor Series so they made the most sense. This was a decent enough match but really was a squash. That’s not something that happens to the former Horsemen that often.

I don’t know what you want me to say here. Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard are as pure of a heel tag team as you’ll ever see and were one of the only teams the Road Warriors couldn’t figure out. Let me say that again: the Road Warriors couldn’t take the belts off them. That’s as good of an endorsement as you can possibly have.

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Today is the less talkative member of the Legion of Doom: Animal.

As was the case with Hawk: I won’t be putting in regular tag matches and there are going to be some big gaps. We’ll start with Bunkhouse Stampede with Animal in a battle royal inside a cage.

Bunkhouse Stampede

Dusty Rhodes, Tully Blanchard, Ivan Koloff, The Warlord (wearing a Lifeguard shirt for no apparent reason), Arn Anderson, Lex Luger, The Barbarian, Animal.

Dusty gets a big entrance of course with all his accomplishments listed. Did I mention he was booking at the time? Seriously, ONLY DUSTY had anything listed about him, including the match he won to qualify here, his world title reigns, his US Title reigns, and his TV Title reigns. No one else got anything but their normal entrances. This could get bad fast. All eight are in there at once. There aren’t any weapons like promised or anything.

Remember, it’s a battle royal in a cage where you have to throw them over the ropes or through the door. My goodness this is idiotic. Apparently it’s unheard of for someone to win three straight Bunkhouse Stampedes. That could be because this is THE THIRD ONE! Wow Dusty lowered some IQs. Everyone is in some screwed up street clothes of some kind and this is just idiotic.

Apparently the referee has to determine if a guy goes over the cage or through the door, since that’s overly complicated I guess. Wow shoving people OVER A CAGE looks stupid. See, when it was a regular battle royal, IT MADE SENSE. Blanchard and Anderson work together of course. Barbarian, Warlord and Koloff are in the same stable mind you so they’ll likely work together. Koloff and Dusty climb the cage due to idiocy.

I’m watching people try to throw PEOPLE over a cage. Does that sound stupid to you or is it just me? How hard would it be to throw someone that is fighting back over a cage wall? Because to me, IT SOUNDS IMPOSSIBLE. Also, there are a lot of people walking around on the top ropes which is just freaking stupid too. No one is out or anything yet.

Arn saves himself from being thrown out the door as I realize how much this sounds like a really bad comedy sketch. Koloff is bleeding. Winner gets half a million dollars. Not sure if I said that or not but I don’t want to stop the tape long enough to go back and read it. I feel sorry for Ross and Caudle trying to make this sound interesting or intense or whatever it’s supposed to be.

Luger and Dusty just go off as we’re supposed to believe that a guy that is built like Dusty is supposed to be in the same kind of condition as a stallion like Luger. Right. Oh yeah, and keep in mind this whole cowboy southern thing is in NEW YORK CITY. They continue to try to make this sound good and it’s just failing. Wow this was ten days before I was born and 12 before Hogan lost the world title to Andre. Holy goodness that’s weird to think about.

Still no one out and we’re almost 15 minutes into this. It’s mainly just people in jeans hitting people with belts and boots. Yeah it’s riveting in case you can’t tell. Dusty’s arm is bleeding from being worked over with a belt. Make this stop please. Animal tries to shove Anderson over the top. I want to break this match.

Koloff, like an idiot, although at this time he’s one of two former world champions in there somehow, climbs over the cage to get away from Animal and gets knocked out to take us down to seven. Oh sweet mercy kill me now. So let’s just keep the camera on Koloff FOREVER as we see the EPIC DRAMA of him standing up. Animal and Warlord fight to the door and Warlord gets knocked to the door. Animal gets kicked in the head by Barbarian and it knocks both guys out in a stupid looking spot.

We have Dusty, Luger, Anderson, Blanchard and Barbarian left. Blanchard gets put in the Rack which at least hurts him. Some fan shouts about how gay this is. Thanks for that. Luger takes a Gourdbuster and the Horsemen try to throw him out. Since Luger didn’t have any gourds on him though, he was fine and stays in.

Anderson, Luger and Blanchard fight by the door and they all go out after like three minutes of fighting. Arn at one point stood on the third step and choked Luger. Yeah he deserved to lose. So we have Barbarian vs. Dusty. Any bets on who wins here? Barbarian gets some brass knuckles and pops Dusty with them. Barbarian hits like three of his top rope headbutt finishers but Dusty fights back baby!

They climb to the top rope for the epic move known as the OH DANG THIS MATCH MAKES NO SENSE SO LET’S CLIMB UP SO WE CAN HAVE A REASON TO GET THROWN OVER THE CAGE! Yep, Dusty wins by hitting the elbow to the head and we’re done. Earl Hebner is the referee here but would be in WWF in 12 days for the famous twin angle. Dusty gets a big bronze cowboy boot. Give me a FREAKING BREAK!

We hear about Dusty was considering retiring before this but came back “for the people.” So he was about to leave and came back for the people. So apparently by coming back for the people, he just had to come up with a PPV for himself and put himself over in it. Sure why not.

Rating: F. There was a cage match with a battle royal going on. This was a MASSIVE love letter from Dusty to Dusty. This was all about getting him even FURTHER over and making things look even stupider. Somehow Dusty was the wildcard and the favorite at the same time. He’s US Champion already but was going to retire. I give up. Just a joke of a main event and a show.

Here’s a six man tag from Capital Combat.

Road Warriors/Norman the Lunatic vs. Cactus Jack/Kevin Sullivan, Bam Bam Bigelow

Norman the Lunatic is more commonly known as Bastion Booger. This is a weird pairing of six guys if there has ever been one. Oliver Humperdink is here too as Bigelow’s manager and is bare-chested. This is just strange on all levels and I have no idea what the point of this is supposed to be. The LOD comes out on Harleys while Norman has to walk behind them. That sums up this match nicely.

How funny is it that of all these people, Cactus Jack was the most successful? Cactus is very young at this point and has nothing going for him. Norman is allegedly an escaped mental patient. That sums things up very well. Animal and the future four time world champion start us off. Animal is MOVING out there. He does two leap frogs and drops low at great speed. This is just weird to see but interesting I’d say.

Hawk vs. Bigelow. Oh dear. Bigelow is sleeveless here which is a strange look for him. This could set selling back a thousand years. Hawk gets the best dropkick he’s ever thrown, hitting Bam Bam square in the face. Sullivan comes in, looks at Hawk, and tags out. Instead he gets Norman. For him imagine Eugene meets Bigelow. See what I mean? In a painful looking spot, Hawk throws the (wooden) steps at Jack where they just bounce off his back while he’s bent over.

OW even if they’re fake. They all take their turns beating on Norman and Sullivan just looks completely out of place in this. Bigelow backdrops Norman. Imagine that one if you can. Norman hits a clothesline on Cactus and just falls on his hip. That sums things up for him quite well I’d think. A big old brawl breaks out as Hawk hits the top rope clothesline on Sullivan for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not bad I guess, but at the same time when the best technician is Kevin Sullivan, you’re in trouble. This was to get the crowd going though and I think it worked ok for what it was. That and I can’t imagine they expected this to be a great match or anything, so I’ll let it slide I guess.

Off to the WWF now at Survivor Series 1990.

The Warriors vs. The Perfect Team

Ultimate Warrior, Texas Tornado, Legion of Doom

Mr. Perfect, Demolition

I guess this team isn’t as Ultimate as last year. This is the three man version of Demolition. Perfect is feuding with Tornado (Kerry Von Erich, the IC Champion) and the LOD is feuding with Demolition after the LOD cost them the titles. Warrior, the world champion, is there because he has nothing else to do. His team is in the back before the match and says they’ll win. Actually the name Warriors is appropriate as you have the Ultimate Warrior, the Modern Day Warrior (Von Erich’s nickname in WCCW) and the Road Warriors (the LOD’s NWA name).

I’ll never get why the LOD and Demolition never had a big proper match. They fought on house shows but that’s about it. Perfect immediately goes to the apron and lets part of Demolition start. It’s Animal vs. Smash first and they fight immediately with Animal taking him to the mat. Animal throws him into Hawk for a right hand and the other Warriors get in a shot as well.

Smash comes back with a powerslam for two and it’s off to Perfect. That doesn’t last long so here’s Smash again, and he walks right into a powerslam. Everything breaks down and the Warriors clear the ring. Tornado comes in to face Smash who is taking a beating in this so far. Off to Ax who has much better luck for about ten seconds. There’s the Claw from Tornado but for some reason Warrior gets the tag and hits a series of awkward looking shoulder blocks before finishing Ax with the splash.

Crush immediately comes in to jump Warrior and take over. Smash comes in to slam Warrior and Crush drops a top rope knee for two. Perfect is freaking out in his trademark over the top style. Warrior gets up a boot in the corner and clotheslines Crush down. Off to Hawk who always looks like he could murder someone in the ring. Perfect tries him out and is immediately slammed down.

Hawk counters a reversal to send Perfect into the corner but Bird Man’s shoulder goes into the post HARD to give the evil ones the advantage. Demolition pounds away on him but Hawk punches right back. A big flying shoulder puts Smash down and Hawk doesn’t tag when he has the chance. The top rope clothesline kills Smash and everything breaks down. Hawk kicks the referee and somehow this disqualifies Hawk, Animal, Smash and Crush. We’re down to Perfect vs. Warrior/Tornado.

It’s going to be Warrior starting the handicap match but Perfect wants Tornado instead. Perfect immediately jumps him and is clotheslined out almost immediately after the jumping. Warrior bangs Perfect’s head into Heenan’s and sends Bobby into the front row. Tornado charges at Perfect and slams into the post to give Perfect the advantage for a bit. A buckle gets exposed somewhere in there and after Tornado’s face goes into it, the Perfectplex makes it one on one.

Perfect tries the Plex again on Warrior which doesn’t work at all. Instead he hammers Warrior down and hits a great looking dropkick for two. Having Perfect run things out there for as long as possible is the best idea they’ve got. Warrior starts grabbing the ropes and shrugging off all the offense from Perfect. A shoulder block and the splash get the final pin.

Rating: D. This was probably the worst Survivor Series match so far in the four years they’ve been running this show. Not only was the match lopsided from the start, but half of the people in it were gone seven minutes in. Perfect never had a chance and Warrior had no reason to be in this match at all.

We’ll jump way ahead now to WCW with Animal in the Lord of the Ring compeititon at Slamboree 1996.

Battlebowl First Round: Animal/Booker T vs. Hawk/Lex Luger

Love that Iron Man music. Dusty is excited. This was one of his bright ideas. Wow a tag team is fighting each other. What are the odds of that??? Luger is a face now in case you’re keeping track. If you are, I feel very sorry for you. Tony suggests 100 million people are watching this PPV broadcast and are listening in English. That’s most amusing.

Ok so the first round has 8 matches and then there’s ANOTHER round of tag matches. The winners of the second round of matches go to the battle royal. Ok then. Luger and Animal start us off. The commentary is somehow stupider than usual. Luger is a tag champion here along with Sting. Hawk hasn’t come in yet. Booker hits a Spinarooni which has no official name yet. Luger is TV Champion here too. Hawk and Luger get into it and we have the massive brawl. That’s a double countout. Hawk was never in the match.

Rating: D-. For these matches, I’m starting at a D rather than a C like I usually do. This was quick and boring if nothing else, but it gives me a very bad feeling about the rest of the show. Also, was there a point to the double countout? Die they really need to avoid both teams going to the battle royal?

Back to the WWF with Wrestlemania XIII.

Nation of Domination vs. Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson

Chicago street fight. It’s Crush/Faarooq/Savio Vega plus a bunch of unnamed lackeys forming the Nation at this point. They bring out every weapon you could think of for this match between about the nine people they have here. Ahmed has the spikes on too and they bring the kitchen sink with them. Ok point for a funny idea. It’s a big brawl to start (and will continue to be that way) with the good guys beating up the lackeys.

Faarooq hits Animal in the back with a nightstick and Ahmed hits a big dive over the barricade to take out I think Savio. I’m not going to be able to call everything here so expect a lot to be missed. Ahmed crushes Crush with a trashcan as Hawk has a 2×4 to stalk Savio with. Animal tries a piledriver on Faarooq through a table but they just fall off to the side instead. The fans chant for the LOD and Animal blasts Faarooq with a fire extinguisher. Savio cleans house with a trashcan but gets it wrapped around him and blasted by Hawk.

Ahmed slams Faarooq through the table from earlier and there goes the fire extinguisher again. Now we get a big rope with a noose on it to hang Ahmed. The Nation is too big and powerful for LOD and Ahmed to fight off. Hawk comes back with a double clothesline to Jerry’s shock. It was an actual wrestling move! Ahmed gets out of the noose and beats up D-Lo Brown for a bit. Animal hits Faarooq with a parking sign as Savio throws Ahmed over the barricade.

Crush finds a wrench from somewhere to blast Animal with as Faarooq is pulled to the floor by the rope. They’re clearly starting to get tired now. Hawk sprays the Nation down with the extinguisher again but the lackeys save Faarooq from the Pearl River Plunge. Crush gets caught in the Doomsday Device out of nowhere before getting hit by a 2×4 for the pin.

Rating: B-. You know what, why not. This was a FIGHT and it worked quite well. They didn’t try to make this anything but a street fight and that’s what they gave us. This wasn’t good or quality or anything but it was certainly fun and exactly what it was advertised as. Good stuff here and the second best match of the night so far.

More elimination stuff at Survivor Series 1997.

Team Legion of Doom vs. Nation of Domination

Legion of Doom, Ken Shamrock, Ahmed Johnson

Farrooq, The Rock, Kama Mustafa, D’Lo Brown

The LOD and company talk about being ready for war. The LOD are tag champions. Hawk and Brown start with D’Lo bouncing off Hawk. Hawk no sells a piledriver as is his custom and a neckbreaker puts Brown down. Off to Rocky who gets knocked around but someone hits Hawk in the back and the yet to be named Rock Bottom eliminates Bird Man.

Off to Ahmed who “hits” a jumping back elbow to take Rock down. Kama, a freaking monster who would become a pimp named Godfather, is in next and takes Johnson down with one shot. Farrooq is in next to work on Ahmed’s ribs and continue a feud that went on for like a year. Brown whips Ahmed with a belt which the referee somehow doesn’t hear. Farrooq loads up the Dominator but Johnson escapes (while falling down) and hits a Pearl River Plunge (Tiger Driver) for the elimination.

Brown comes in again and hits a quick Low Down for no cover. Johnson starts no selling and hits a sitout gordbuster. Farrooq is still at ringside. Rock comes in but walks into a spinebuster. Ahmed hits the ropes but Farrooq trips him up and holds the foot so Rocky can get the pin. It’s Animal/Shamrock vs. Brown/Rocky/Kama at the moment. Animal comes in to face Rocky but it’s quickly off to Shamrock. Ken is still somewhat new here so his style still looks fresh.

A big dropkick puts Rocky down and it’s off to Kama. After getting beaten around for a bit, Kama puts on a front facelock to slow things down. A double clothesline puts both guys down but not for long. Some LOUD noise freaks everyone out and JR and King don’t know what it was either. Anyway Animal gets two off a legdrop but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. Kama showboats a bit too much though and Animal dropkicks him in the back and gets a rollup for the pin.

Brown comes in and during the distraction, Rocky hits Shamrock low for two. D’Lo hooks a chinlock followed by a backbreaker, but his moonsault misses by about two feet. The Outlaws come out while wearing the stolen LOD shoulder pads, and we’ve got powder and a shoved referee. Animal gets counted out during this mess, leaving us with Brown/Rock vs. Shamrock.

JR talks about how many people Shamrock has made tap out. Jerry: “This is wrestling. You don’t win by making people tap out.” JR: “…….YEAH YOU DO!” Brown starts but it’s both Nation members in there at once. Shamrock runs them both over, suplexes Brown and gets the submission via ankle lock. Rock cracks Ken in the back with a chair shot but it only gets two. Rock hits his spinning DDT for two as does the People’s Elbow (not a thing yet). Ken comes back with a northern lights suplex and a standing hurricanrana. There’s the ankle lock and Rocky is done.

Rating: C. This was a little messy but it pushed Shamrock hard while the heat for Rocky was INSANE. The crowd hated him and Vince certainly took notice. Both of these guys would get huge pushes in the next year with Rock winning the title at next year’s Survivor Series. The LOD were in their very last run of note here and they didn’t go out well after that. Fun match here although not great from a technical standpoint at all.

Here’s a match with Hawk’s replacement, Droz, on Raw, June 1, 1998.

LOD 2000 vs. Disciples of Apocolypse

This is a street fight and you can see the sky out back. There’s a referee out there for some reason and I really hope this is the blowoff. This isn’t a match at all so I’m not going to try to call it like one. Hawk swings a big metal pole at Skull but misses. They’re slowing down a lot now as you would expect. Animal goes off on 8-Ball with a trashcan. Droz and Chainz are the only ones left up and Taker arrives at the arena in street clothes and beats them both up. This was by no means a wrestling anything so no rating.

Another six man at In Your House XXV.

Disciples of Apocalypse vs. LOD 2000

This is a six man tag with Droz and Paul Ellering joining the regular teams. The LOD are the hometown boys and therefore more over than usual. This is Hawk’s return match after suffering from “personal problems”, meaning he’s the official alternate for the team at the moment. Animal starts with Skull but an 8-Ball distraction lets Skull get in some cheap shots to take over. Animal comes back with a clothesline and a forearm to 8-Ball to clear the DOA out of the ring.

Off to Hawk vs. 8-Ball with the biker pounding away until he gets caught in a neckbreaker for two. Droz gets the tag but is taken down almost immediately and stomped on in the corner. A series of elbows to the head puts Droz down and it’s off to Skull who is caught by a jumping clothesline. 8-Ball breaks up the tag and Ellering is able to come in for some cheap shots. Droz finally catches Skull with a DDT and makes the hot tag off to Hawk as everything breaks down. 8-Ball takes the Doomsday Device but Droz comes in to steal the pin, much to Hawk’s annoyance.

Rating: D. These teams need to stop feuding already as the matches aren’t working most of the time and the storyline with LOD splitting up isn’t interesting. They’re one of those teams that just don’t work apart and splitting them up wasn’t going to work. DOA was decent as a team but were never going to be anything important.

Here’s one of the last matches in this run on Raw, November 16, 1998.

Edge/Gangrel vs. Droz/Animal

Edge gets knocked to the floor very quickly and Gangrel is double backdropped. Droz and Gangrel (what great names there were back then) start us off and it’s off to Edge for a dropkick to the back. A move that would be tweaked and called Poetry in Motion by the Hardys keeps Droz in trouble but he pulls out a powerslam for two. Here’s Hawk on the stage and he climbs the Titantron. Animal and Droz go out to get him and it’s a countout.

After a break Animal and Droz are trying to talk Hawk down. Hawk yells about Droz and even Paul Ellering is out here to talk him down. Ellering tells a story about Hawk’s mother and Hawk tells him to shut up. Droz goes up after Hawk and appears to shove him off the Tron. This would lead to an angle that would somehow get more uncomfortable later on.

For some reason that can only be explained by WCW, Animal was brought in as a surprise mystery guy. Here he is at Sin.

WCW World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Scott Steiner vs. ???

Flair comes out after the three known people and says the Mystery Man will be here later. Steiner goes after Flair but Jarrett stops him. Sid is in jean shorts here instead of full tights like he was last month. Sid clears the ring and hammers away on both of them for awhile. Jarrett is trying to give up the match apparently. Oh dear. Steiner falls trying to get out of the ring which sums up the whole thing perfectly.

Steiner gets the clothesline, the elbow and the pushups. Sid is sent into the front row and Jarrett adds a Stunner onto the railing. Steiner adds a belt shot to the face as you wonder now why Jarrett doesn’t lay down in the ring and let Steiner get the quick pin to retain. Apparently that would have been a better idea as Sid fights back. Can’t powerbomb Jarrett though and the beatdown continues.

They beat down Sid and Jarrett is told to cover him by Steiner. The announcers think there’s something going on here. Sid fights back and this a double suplex which was rather impressive in theory. He more or less DDTed Steiner and suplexed Jarrett. Here’s the comeback as Sid hits a bunch of clotheslines and a chokeslam on Jarrett for two.

Cobra clutch slam puts Steiner down and Sid follows Jarrett to the floor. Jarrett is sent to the front row and we cut to the back to see Flair bring someone out of the limo from earlier who looks like he’s in a Jason Vorhees mask. We cut back to the arena…..and Sid has broken his leg to the point where it looks like a twisty straw.

The problem now is that they can’t do anything because Sid can’t move and they can’t touch him and since Steiner and Jarrett are friends they can’t do anything. Flair’s music FINALLY comes on and the mystery dude is here. There’s a trainer in the ring already to check on Sid so you can tell how bad it is. The Mystery Man comes in and kicks Sid in the head so Steiner can pin him to end this.

Rating: D. That’s not factoring in the ending because clearly that’s not what they had planned as Sid was injured so badly he wouldn’t wrestle for about a year. The match up to that point was pretty weak though as we were just waiting on the mystery dude to get there, making it a lame duck match. Anyway, weak match to end a weak end of the show.

And the Mystery Man is Road Warrior Animal, making the whole thing a bigger joke than it already was. This resulted in the debut of the next super heel stable: the Magnificent Seven, which was comprised of Flair, the Steiners, Luger, Bagwell, Animal and Jarrett. And you wonder why they went out of business.

Animal would go back to WWE for a little while after Hawk passed away. We’ll start at Great American Bash 2005 with the new Legion of Doom.

Smackdown Tag Titles: MNM vs. Heidenreich/Animal

This is Heidenreich/Animal since Hawk died a few years ago. I think this is because of the LOD DVD. Despite MNM being an awesome tag team and the champions (and the predecessors to Miz/Morrison), what do you think is going to happen here? Heidenreich doesn’t have spikes because he’d have to earn them. They’re called Legion of Doom but they changed the music so I don’t consider them a team. Heidenreich runs off Mercury to start and then does the same to Morrison.

Animal throws him back in and Animal gets a big pop. A double suplex puts the champions down and man there’s a gut on him. This is a total squash so far. FINALLY the champions double team Heidenreich and take his knees out. Mercury works on the knee and the announcers try to compare Heidenreich, the guy that raped Cole remember, to Hawk. Morrison misses a cannonball down onto the knee so it’s back to Mercury. This is REALLY boring stuff. After he cleans house, a title shot to the head gets two. Snapshot is broken up and the Doomsday Device gives the not-LOD the titles.

Rating: D. There was zero reason to put this on PPV and it wasn’t a good match in the slightest. They were trying to go for the LOD formula of total domination, but the non-matching tights and the lack of anything resembling charisma (or talent) by Heidenreich kept that from working. Bad TV match and an awful PPV match. Somehow they would hold the titles for THREE MONTHS.

This set up a six man at No Mercy 2005.

MNM vs. Legion of Doom/Christy Hemme

This is Animal/Heidenreich which never worked at all. They’re the tag champions here. My goodness Christy was gorgeous. She took a Snapshot on Smackdown so she’s injured coming in. Animal has a taped up shoulder too. Heidenreich pulls Nitro in and the beating is on before he can even take the fur coat off. Heidenreich is all fired up and hits a three point clothesline for two. Off to the large gut with the Animal attached but Mercury gets in a kick to the shoulder to take over.

He keeps kicking at it and knocks Heidenreich to take draw him in. MNM hits the Snapshot on Animal very quickly but it only gets two because of the delay in getting to the cover. Mercury snaps the shoulder over the top rope to let Nitro get two. The double team continues and Animal is in trouble. Neckbreaker gets two. Mercury goes up but jumps into an almost powerslam for two. Everything breaks down and Melina tags herself in. She dives onto Animal and gets caught. Off to Christy for a bad Hart Attack and then a HORRIBLE rana. As in the legs were around Melina’s arms. Doomsday Device ends Melina.

Rating: D-. Christy Hemme is a fine example of a girl that looks good in tight pants and a black bra. She’s incredibly attractive and sexy, but but she had no business being in a wrestling ring as a competitor. It didn’t work for her at all and she was only in the ring for about 45 seconds. Again though, she’s there for her looks and those work very well.

Here’s a singles match on Smackdown, March 31, 2006.

Chris Benoit vs. Animal

Benoit’s US Title isn’t on the line. Animal takes him into the corner to start and slaps him in the face. Benoit comes back with chops and right hands to send Animal to the floor. He comes back in and is greeted with Rolling Germans, followed by the Crossface for the submission. Total squash.

That would be it for Animal as a regular guy but he would make a few appearances here and there, such as at Slammiversary 2007.

Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. Rick Steiner/???

And the mystery partner is….Road Warrior Animal. Yeah that’s it. The fans chanting it before he came out kind of hurt the shock a bit. Rick puts on his head gear post bell and it makes a huge difference. Rick vs. D-Von to start us off. I don’t think Scott is in the hospital. I think it’s more like he and Animal cooked him and had him for a late night snack. It would explain those guts on them.

Animal offers to come in and Rick waves him off. Nice partner dude. Oh ok there he is and Ray gets in his face. A piledriver is no sold and we have gimmick infringement from Hawk. I guess since he’s dead it’s ok. Back to Rick and they mistime something, as I think Ray was supposed to hit Rick as he hit the ropes but Rick stopped with zero contact at all. Off to Bubba legally and a neckbreaker gets two.

D-Von misses a middle rope headbutt and there’s the tag to Animal. Something I never get: why can a team that has never teamed together before like Steiner and Animal get a tag title match? There isn’t another team that can challenge the Dudleys? Animal cleans house and it’s back to Rick as everything breaks down. The challengers try to load up the Doomsday Device but Animal gets caught in the double neckbreaker and the 3D ends Rick.

Rating: D. These “dream” matches usually suck because by the time you get teams big enough to have a dream match, they’re old. To be fair though, there was almost no way Animal, who barely wrestled anymore, was going to be able to come out there and have a decent match. Scott may be old and slow but he’s active at least. Bad match, but understandably bad.

We’ll wrap it up with one more Legends appearance on Smackdown, July 20, 2012.

Heath Slater vs. Animal

Yes of the Road Warriors. Animal looks OLD. He isn’t fat but he has no muscle definition at all. The match runs 45 seconds and Animal wins with a powerslam and elbow drop.

Animal is the better in ring performer of the team but Hawk had far more charisma. That being said, Animal also is FAR easier to watch without Hawk than vice versa and probably a better performer as a whole. Still though, you’re going to be much better off watching a Road Warriors collection than either guy as a singles wrestler.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Today is someone a little off. It’s Heiden-Heidenreich.

Heidenreich got his start in 2001 so we’ll pick things up there with a dark match on December 18.

Perry Saturn vs. Jon Heidenreich

Jon is a hometown boy and comes to the ring in a football jersey. They fight over a lockup to start until Saturn takes over with some hard forearms. A clothesline puts Saturn down and Heidenreich stomps away but Perry comes back with some kicks to the ribs. Heidenreich gets dropped with a legsweep and we hit the reverse chinlock.

That goes nowhere so Saturn picks things up with a spinning springboard dropkick for two. The fans think this is boring and Saturn gets one off a neckbreaker. Heidenreich comes back with a powerslam and spinebuster for two and a back elbow gets the same. This is already dragging. Saturn finally puts on a standing armbar of all things for the win.

Rating: D. I can see why this was kept in the dark. This match just kept going and the fans had no reason to care whatsoever. Heidenreich looked good and was decent in the ring but these guys had no chemistry together. Bad match and not a good way to get the fans into a show that’s about to start.

After a year in OVW, Heidenreich would show up in 2003, where fought Rico on Heat, December 14, 2003. This was before Armageddon 2003.

Rico vs. Heidenreich

Heidenreich catches him in mid air but Rico kisses his way to freedom. An atomic drop puts Rico down and a clothesline sends him to the floor. Rico’s manager offers a good looking distraction and Rico grabs a neckbreaker for a pin out of nowhere.

Heidenreich would be in OVW for most of 2004 before returning in 2005 to feud with the Undertaker. Here’s their big showdown at Royal Rumble 2005.

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Taker grabs a headlock to start and pulls Heidenreich towards the casket but (Jon) Heidenreich runs away. That works so well that we do it again and Jon is terrified. Since that didn’t quite work, Taker hooks the leg with a half crab, causing Heidenreich to crawl towards the ropes in front of the casket. As we ignore the problem of crawling to the ropes, Jon bails to the floor to take the fight out there.

Heidenreich sends Taker into the casket and pounds his head into it, which apparently isn’t a problem for him. Back in and Heidenreich pounds away in the corner, only to get caught in a modified triangle choke. Taker pulls the hold down to the mat and Heidenreich is almost out, so here’s Snitsky to break up the hold. After a double suplex to Taker, the monsters start pulling him to the casket…..which has Kane inside.

Kane, who was feuding with Snitsky over Snitsky punting a plastic version of the baby that Kane’s wife Lita (just go with it) lost, destroys both guys and takes Snitsky into the crowd. Heidenreich starts shoving the casket away very slowly before slamming Taker into the steps. Heidenreich slides the casket into Taker, which looks rather stupid as Taker had nothing behind him to be crushed against but whatever.

Back in and Jon puts on a cobra clutch which chokes Taker out enough to get him into the casket. Well mostly in at least as Taker sticks an arm out and chokes away. With Heidenreich’s torso in the casket, Taker drops the apron legdrop in the spot of the match. Back in and Heidenreich is suddenly fine, pounding away on the Dead Man and hitting a Boss Man Slam for a cover. Taker chokes his way out of the casket and wins a slugout, followed by a bad running DDT. Chokeslam and tombstone hit and we’re done.

Rating: D. This just didn’t work. At the end of the day, Heidenreich just didn’t work at all and he never came close to it. This was supposed to be a preview of Snitsky/Heidenreich vs. Kane/Taker at Mania, but thankfully they went with Kane in MITB and Taker vs. Orton in a great match, whereas Snitsky and Heidenreich didn’t even make it onto the show.

Heidenreich would drop down the card after this, but would still get a PPV match at No Way Out 2005.

Heidenreich vs. Booker T

No real backstory here other than Heidenreich needed a feud after Taker got done beating him up. This was made after Smackdown apparently when Booker thought Heidenreich was laughing at Booker after a loss. He reads a poem before the match which isn’t very good. It’s kind of hard to get into this as it’s about as thrown onto the card as you could want a match to be.

Basic match to start and Jon (not typing that whole name out every time) talks to himself and hits himself in the head. Pretty back and forth here as Booker hits him a good deal but can’t drop him. Jon wasn’t an invincible guy which more or less took away any fear he would instill in anyone else. Well that and when he raped Cole. Jon takes over and gets a key lock as this is rather uninteresting.

Booker makes a comeback but gets kicked in the face to stop that. And now back to the same hold as he had on before. Booker makes another comeback and hits a superkick to set up the Spinarooni. Jon is sent to the floor where he grabs a chair and blasts Booker in the throat with it for the DQ.

Rating: F+. It was too long, it wasn’t interesting, there was no story, the ending sucked and the wrestling was boring. Why in the world was this on a pay per view? Heidenreich was a pretty big misfire if there ever has been one as he never was interesting or a threat to anyone really. This was a great example of how worthless he was.

Let’s try to make this be a bit better. From Velocity on May 19, 2005.

Heidenreich vs. Mike Mondo

Heidenreich throws him around with ease as Josh Matthews complains about Heidenreich injuring him recently. Mondo’s forearms have no effect and he gets a huge shoulder breaker for his efforts. A dropkick doesn’t work on Heidenreich either and a gutbuster has Mike screaming. There’s a Boss Man Slam to complete the squash.

Heidenreich would turn face and somehow get a US Title shot at Judgment Day 2005.

US Title: Orlando Jordan vs. Heidenreich

Jordan got the US Title in JBL’s Cabinet from Cena and just kind of kept it. He was never anything special at all but he kept it for like 6 months. For those of you that haven’t seen Heidenreich, he’s uh…..different. And remember who he’s in there against when I say that. First up though, he needs to find a friend.

This was his thing at the time: he would pick a kid out of the audience to be his friend and would read them a poem. He chants WHERE’S MY FRIEND as he looks around for one. The girl is named Alex and she’s like 10. She can’t say the word Minneapolis. She’s REALLY excited about being sat in a chair and having a big tattooed man read her a poem. Chant and champ do not rhyme. This is one of those characters we would describe as out there.

Oh hey we have a match now. Cole talks about the Preakness winner being named Alex like the girl. That’s a very stupid man. Heidenreich beat Jordan on Smackdown to set this up. Belly to belly suplex gets two for Heidenreich. Out to the floor and they slug it out a bit. When Heidenreich hits him you can hear him say POW. I’m not sure if I should make fun of this or not. He might ask me to go get an espresso.

The fans chant Buckwheat Sucks which is rather appropriate for Jordan. You figure out what I mean by that. Heidenreich does his walk (don’t ask) and hammers away. Big boot gets two. Jordan gets a swinging neckbreaker for two as Alex is panicking. Jordan gets his WEAK DDT to end this abruptly.

Rating: D-. No idea why they thought Jordan should be champion but somehow he’s the best option here. Jordan was really bad at what he did and yet he kept winning for no apparent reason. Benoit beat him in like 30 seconds at Summerslam which was a breath of fresh air to everyone.

The title pushes would continue as Heidenreich was part of the New Legion of Doom and got a title shot at Great American Bash 2005.

Smackdown Tag Titles: MNM vs. Heidenreich/Animal

This is Heidenreich/Animal since Hawk died a few years ago. I think this is because of the LOD DVD. Despite MNM being an awesome tag team and the champions (and the predecessors to Miz/Morrison), what do you think is going to happen here? Heidenreich doesn’t have spikes because he’d have to earn them. They’re called Legion of Doom but they changed the music so I don’t consider them a team. Heidenreich runs off Mercury to start and then does the same to Morrison.

Animal throws him back in and Animal gets a big pop. A double suplex puts the champions down and man there’s a gut on him. This is a total squash so far. FINALLY the champions double team Heidenreich and take his knees out. Mercury works on the knee and the announcers try to compare Heidenreich, the guy that raped Cole remember, to Hawk. Morrison misses a cannonball down onto the knee so it’s back to Mercury. This is REALLY boring stuff. After he cleans house, a title shot to the head gets two. Snapshot is broken up and the Doomsday Device gives the not-LOD the titles.

Rating: D. There was zero reason to put this on PPV and it wasn’t a good match in the slightest. They were trying to go for the LOD formula of total domination, but the non-matching tights and the lack of anything resembling charisma (or talent) by Heidenreich kept that from working. Bad TV match and an awful PPV match. Somehow they would hold the titles for THREE MONTHS.

The team would feud with MNM, setting up this six person tag at No Mercy 2005.

MNM vs. Legion of Doom/Christy Hemme

This is Animal/Heidenreich which never worked at all. They’re the tag champions here. My goodness Christy was gorgeous. She took a Snapshot on Smackdown so she’s injured coming in. Animal has a taped up shoulder too. Heidenreich pulls Nitro in and the beating is on before he can even take the fur coat off. Heidenreich is all fired up and hits a three point clothesline for two. Off to the large gut with the Animal attached but Mercury gets in a kick to the shoulder to take over.

He keeps kicking at it and knocks Heidenreich to take draw him in. MNM hits the Snapshot on Animal very quickly but it only gets two because of the delay in getting to the cover. Mercury snaps the shoulder over the top rope to let Nitro get two. The double team continues and Animal is in trouble. Neckbreaker gets two. Mercury goes up but jumps into an almost powerslam for two. Everything breaks down and Melina tags herself in. She dives onto Animal and gets caught. Off to Christy for a bad Hart Attack and then a HORRIBLE rana. As in the legs were around Melina’s arms. Doomsday Device ends Melina.

Rating: D-. Christy Hemme is a fine example of a girl that looks good in tight pants and a black bra. She’s incredibly attractive and sexy, but but she had no business being in a wrestling ring as a competitor. It didn’t work for her at all and she was only in the ring for about 45 seconds. Again though, she’s there for her looks and those work very well.

That would be about it for Heidenreich as they would lose the titles soon after and Heidenreich would be released at the end of the year. After bouncing around the indies for a bit, Heidenreich would pretty much vanish. Here’s one quick match from a show in the Netherlands on September 26, 2009.

Heidenreich vs. Fury

No idea who Fury is but he’s well built. They circle each other to start with Heidenreich yelling at the crowd a lot. Heidenreich offers a handshake and they shout at each other a bit. No contact two minutes in. Some hard forearms knock Heidenreich into the corner and even more forearms knock him to the floor. The ring mat is shiny.

Back in and Heidenreich hammers him down before pounding on Fury in the corner. Fury fights back and kicks Heidenreich in the back before putting on a chinlock. The fans start singing Heidenreich’s WWE song and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Fury hammers away, only to walk into a Boss Man Slam for the pin.

Rating: D-. Just get this over with already. It was five minutes of punching and forearms. Next.

One final one, from Hulk Hogan’s Australia tour in 2009.

Pimp Fatha vs. Heidenreich

Godfather does the usual intro and offers Heidenreich the women. He actually takes them up on it but a fight breaks out anyway and the match is on. Back inside and Heidenreich hammers away before getting yelled at as the referee. Godfather charges into an elbow in the corner and we hit a quick chinlock. Heidenreich tries an elbow after Godfather has already rolled away and a missed splash leads to what was supposed to be a rollup but was more like Heidenreich laying down so Godfather can grab the tights for the pin. Barely even a match but neither guy has wrestled on the big stage in years.

Godfather is the kind of guy that was far more entertaining than good. The pimp character could have opened house shows for YEARS and kept getting huge pops. No he wasn’t much to watch in the ring, but not everyone needs to be. I’ll give him this though: not many people could go to that many characters and have more than one be memorable. He was very charismatic and that’s more important than being good in the ring.

If there has ever been proff that Paul Heyman isn’t perfect…..well it’s ECW, but this is a good indicator as well. That’s almost everything I can find on Heidenreich, meaning these were his highlights. The guy had a good look but he just wasn’t very good in the ring and it really showed. To be fair though, when your first major feud is with Undertaker in a casket match, you’re kind of screwed coming out of the blocks.

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Sin
Date: January 14, 2001
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 6,617
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

Another month into WCW here and this time it’s one of the more infamous endings. This is the fatal fourway for the title with Sid vs. Steiner vs. Jarrett vs. a mystery man. The ending is famous for one of the sickest botches and injuries of all time. Other than that it’s mainly a bunch of Starrcade rematches so let’s get to it.

The opening video lists off the seven deadly sins with various clips of various people. Simple but at least it fits the name, even if the name makes no sense.

Shane doesn’t want Shannon to come to the ring with him.

Cruiserweight Title: Shane Helms vs. Chavo Guerrero

If you remember last month 3 Count both won a title shot. The next night they had a match to determine who won the title shot, which is here. Chavo is relatively freshly heel here and totally awesome. Crowd is hot as they have a crisp technical sequence with Chavo grabbing a full nelson for a few seconds. Chavo chops away and in a NICE nod to history, Shane counters with armdrags. Flair vs. Stemboat anyone?

Shane gets an F5 into a facebuster but Chavo manages a clothesline to send him to the floor. After a brief skirmish on the floor Shane kind of botches a sunset flip but recovers fast enough that it’s easily forgotten, still getting two. Chavo goes low as this is a very fast paced match. Sweet dropkick by Chavo gets two and we hit the chinlock. This is a bit different as they’ve been going strong about five minutes and they needed a 20 second rest. Nothing wrong with that.

Atomic drop by Shane reverses and a neckbreaker puts Chavo down. Shane covers just before the ten count but gets two. Crowd is hot for this. X Plex (German with the arms crossed in front of Chavo) gets two. Shane charges at him in the corner but Chavo sends him to the floor. BIG dive by Chavo takes Helms out on the floor and we go back into the ring.

Chavo gets thrown to the floor and Shane hits his own big old dive to take Chavo down. Chavo’s was better but still that was great. Sunset flip gets two for Shane as does a Samoan Drop. He calls for the Vertebreaker but Chavo reverses. Shane reverses the reversal into the Nightmare on Helm Street (spinning reverse DDT. Look it up as it’s hard to describe) for a LONG two. Tornado DDT is blocked but Chavo reverses another Nightmare on Helm Street into a brainbuster to get the pin and keep the title.

Rating: A-. GREAT match here with both guys moving incredibly well and the crowd responding to every single thing. This is exactly the right thing to do for the opener with the match being fast paced and full of the right amount of spots and counters. Like I said, Chavo was awesome at this point and this was even more proof of that. Excellent match here and worth watching.

And now let’s watch it go downhill from here.

Earlier today Tenay was trying to find out who the mystery man was so he asked Flair. I’d love for someone to just say the surprise to catch everyone off guard for once.

Vito is facing Reno here and has Johnny the Bull with him again, although Johnny can’t be at ringside.

Reno vs. Big Vito

Revenge match here after Reno revealed that he was the guy that was paying Kronik to take out Vito so he could rejoin the Thrillers instead of just you know, taking out Vito and rejoining the Thrillers. They stare each other down and the fight is on. Reno takes over with a powerslam to start and Vito kind of looks weak. Oh and they’re brothers apparently.

They head to the floor for a bit before heading back in and slugging it out. The crowd is staying white hot and already has made more noise than at all of Starrcade combined. Superplex gets two for Vito. Enziguri to the shoulder can’t put Reno down but a belly to back does for no cover. Out to the floor with Reno in control. They are laying into each other here.

Back in now and Reno drops an elbow. Tony talks about the brothers being in high school for some reason as the crowd is popping for clotheslines. Think about that for a minute. Vito grabs a sunset flip for two. Big boot to the head/superkick by Vito puts Reno down and they’re both down. Vito hammers away and here’s the comeback.

Belly to belly sets up a top rope elbow for two. Bad elbow but he tried at least. Reno fights back but can’t Roll the Dice. Suplex gets two for Vito. Spinning DDT fails for Vito so he settles for a T-Bone. I’ll have a round steak if you have one. Out of nowhere Reno reverses a suplex and gets the Roll the Dice for the pin. Another fast paced and decent match, probably a record for WCW post 1999.

Rating: C+. This is a fine example of a match where working hard and having intensity can make up for average in ring work. They were HAMMERING each other out there and while the match was sloppy at times the fans were into it and even I got into it a bit. That’s a great sign and the match was good as a result. We’re half an hour in and I’m rather impressed so far.

Mike Sanders pays off Brian Adams of Kronik but Brian Clark comes up with a better payoff so Adams says let’s take that one. He keeps Sanders’ money anyway of course.

Jung Dragons vs. Noble/Karagis

Told you they would never go anywhere. Noble/Karagis have been having problems apparently. Evan and Kaz starts us off and of course it’s full speed ahead. Kaz cleans house and the Dragons rule the ring. Stereo moonsaults take the non-reptiles out as Leia Meow is happy. Noble and Kaz go to the floor and Noble may have hurt his knee.

Things finally get down into a regular tag match with Noble and Karagis hitting a leg drop/side slam combination for two. Karagis gets two off a World’s Strongest Slam. Noble hammers on Kaz a bit more including something like a cross body for two. Noble is moving insanely fast out there. Apparently he does something called a Singapore. It looked like an elbow to me.

Karagis comes in and gets a nice gorilla press into a spinning spinebuster for two. Cool looking move there. Powerslam sets up a horrible looking attempt at a Lionsault and both guys are down after the miss. He would have hit Kaz in the toes or so if he was lucky. Kaz tries to get the hot tag but Noble drills him as he heads for the corner. Sunset flip attempt by Noble but Kaz rolls through and DRILLS Noble with a kick to the head. That looked sick.

There’s the hot tag and Yang cleans house, getting a dragon screw leg whip and a reverse figure four to Noble. The hold is broken up by Karagis and the big brawl is on. Knoble gets a German for two on Yang and Karagis gets a HUGE dive to take Kaz out on the floor.
Knoble tries a rana from the middle rope but Yang reverses into a sitout powerbomb for two.

Evan goes up and hits a SWEET 450 for two on Yang. Kaz gets a slingshot DDT for two as does Knoble with a tombstone. Yang tries a twisting moonsault which misses completely. After all that, Yang grabs a small package to get the pin on Knoble. AWESOME match to say the least.

Rating: A-. Is it possible that a WCW PPV is one of the best shows I’ve seen in a very long time? We’re only about 45 minutes into it though which is what scares me. Anyway, this was a great fast paced tag match with everyone moving in there and giving us a hot ending where you kept wondering who would wind up getting the pin. Great stuff.

Buff Bagwell and Lex Luger show up in an old purple car. I mean from like the 30s. They say they might have someone run in for a DQ so that Goldberg will lose.

Mike Sanders vs. Ernest Miller

The winner is Commissioner. Sanders says he’s in this for the money and that Ms. Jones is on the line here. WCW: pushing sexual slavery all the way to 2001! At least Jones looks good. For the life of me I have never gotten the appeal of the Cat. He says he’s going to be Commissioner and take WCW all the way to the top. I’ve got nothing for that one. Somebody call his mama. How did they never have her show up?

After a quick fan applause contest won by Miller we’re ready for the match. Cat starts in control and chases Sanders to the floor, only to get drilled by Sanders on the return to the ring. Cat gets a kick to take him down and hammers away. Does this guy know how to do anything but strikes? Sanders gets a snap mare and kicks him in the head. A sunset flip is countered by a crotch chop and an elbow from Miller.

Big kick (yes we get it you can kick him) by Miller puts Sanders down but he manages to send Cat to the floor. Chair shot is broken up by Jones which is stupid because Sanders would have lost if he had hit Cat. Jones chases him with the chair as the Thrillers come down for the big beating. Kronik makes the save and somehow the referee DOESN’T SEE ANY OF THIS, despite being in the ring the whole time. Adams shoves the money in Sanders’ mouth as he channels his inner DiBiase before a big kick to Sanders from Cat ends this, making Miller commissioner again.

Rating: D. Boring match for another authority position which means I have to watch more of Miller. I’m not complaining about seeing Jones dance but at the same time, Miller is annoying beyond belief. Weak match and what a shock: the bigger the names get, the worse the show gets.

Flair and Goldberg watch the Bagwell/Luger arrival from earlier. Flair, the other authority figure makes it No DQ and introduces Goldberg to a friend of his and the friend’s son. No angle or anything to it. Just a fan that wants an autograph and a picture which he gets.

Gene is with Jarrett who says he’ll win the title again and will send Gene back to the retirement home if he keeps implying that Jarrett will turn on Steiner. He’s supposed to sound defensive here.

Team Canada vs. Filthy Animals

Team Canada is Elix Skipper, Mike Awesome (Yes he made a heel turn since the last show) and Lance Storm. The Animals are Konnan, Mysterio and Kidman. This is a Penalty Box match where the guest referee, Jim Duggan, can throw the people in a penalty box if they break a rule. The Canadians come out in a bus for no apparent reason. Oh and Duggan isn’t part of Team Canada anymore, I guess due to the beatdown last month.

Storm talks about Duggan being in the Animals’ back pocket which doesn’t sit well with the Hall of Famer. There’s no time limit given on the penalties so it’s a bit complicated. Duggan looks old. This is an old WCCW stronghold so you can tell they’re running out of ideas. Storm vs. Mysterio to start. Rey starts out flying around as it’s weird to see Storm being the bigger and stronger of the two.

Skipper and Awesome interfere a bit and are sent to the box almost immediately. Apparently it’s 3-1 for one minute. Tony makes a bunch of hockey references which most American fans won’t care about. Konnan powerbombs Rey onto Storm as the box is emptied out. Good thing the advantage meant nothing at all. Rey gets a falling splash and it’s off to Kidman.

Kidman vs. Skipper now as Awesome is sent into the box again. Make that Storm as well. Why do I have a feeling that this is going to be the norm for this match? Konnan throws on some hold as they keep tagging in and out. The announcers are making it sound like the only chance the Animals have is when the Canadians are in the box. Back to full strength as Skipper easily out moves Konnan.

Matrix move is easily blocked by simply grabbing a reverse DDT out of it. The Canadians don’t like to tag for some reason. Off to Awesome and I’ll bet money on Storm and Skipper being sent to the box within a minute. Backbreaker gets two for Awesome. Major Gunns and Tygress argue on the floor and Duggan yells at them. Rey tries to cheat but is sent to the box for two minutes as is Kidman.

Powerslam by Awesome gets two. Tygress sprays Gunns with water or oil or something and they go at it. Only Gunns goes to the box though. Ah there goes Tygress too. Skipper drops a springboard leg drop on Konnan as we hit the chinlock. Yes because with a 3-1 advantage it’s the right idea to put a chinlock on. Awesome comes off the top with a clothesline as he comes in.

The box empties out as this is getting rather stupid. Off to Storm who walks into an X-Factor but Konnan is spent from doing two moves so he takes a little nap. Off to Kidman who comes in on fire. Well not literally but you get the concept. We hit the floor and everything breaks down.

Awesome has scissors and tries to give Kidman a haircut for no apparent reason and is sent to the box. Bronco Buster to Storm from both Rey and Tygress. She goes to the box as Storm gets a forearm to Rey, only to get caught in the ropes and hit by a leg drop. Off to Kidman who gets the Unprettier for two. The box empties though and Awesome hits an Awesome Bomb to Rey as Storm puts the Maple Leaf on Kidman for the tap out.

Rating: D+. Total and complete mess here with the rules seemingly added on for the sake of adding rules on. It didn’t help the match or anything but they did it anyway. Not much of a match as it was just a six man with extended faces/heels in peril spots. This feud went on more or less until the end of the company.

The Thrillers say they’ll get the titles back from the Insiders.

The Insiders are getting ready.

We recap the Hardcore Title feud which more or less is Funk is champion, he likes Crowbar who wants to take over and Meng is just a monster that wants the title.

Hardcore Title: Crowbar vs. Terry Funk vs. Meng

Meng has the title itself but Funk is champion. Daffney tries to jump Funk which of course fails. Crowbar, no longer a seventies guy (that would be Funk) jumps Funk and the brawl starts sans Meng. They head to the back into the ladies room. Standard bathroom fight as Crowbar is slammed into every stall. Meng is nowhere to be seen here. Ah there he is.

He throws a plastic trashcan over Funk and hammers on it a bit. They head back into the arena and Funk pelts a trashcan at Meng’s head. They double team him for a bit before Funk realizes that makes too much sense so he beats up Crowbar. Luckily there happens to be about six tables stacked up against a wall. WE FOUND THE SOURCE!!!!! Crowbar hits Funk with a laptop as Hudson says Crowbar wants the Cruiserweight Title back.

Crowbar climbs into the crowd and dives on Funk on a table which the camera completely misses. Why do they miss it? Because they accidentally cut to the ring crew fixing the ring ropes. And people wonder why this company went out of business. This is what replay is for I guess as we get to see the Boom Drop for lack of a better term.

Meng pops up to him Crowbar with a trashcan again and take over one more time. They head to the stage with Crowbar hammering away to no effect. Side kick sends Crowbar sprawling down the ramp. Funk gets a snow shovel from somewhere and pops Meng with it to send him down. That’s a rarity. Funk slams Crowbar through the railing which literally almost snaps in half. Good thing WCW upgraded to the barriers made of cotton candy.

Funk and Crowbar go to the ring where Funk takes some chair shots to the knees and gets Pillmanized. Well kind of at least. Funk of course is on his feet seconds later and hammers away. Meng is back now and Crowbar puts a figure four on despite Meng hammering on him. Meng goes up top and crushes Crowbar with a splash. That looked awesome. Piledriver gets two as Funk saves.

Meng hammers away and slams Funk before a middle rope splash gets two. Funk and Crowbar hit Meng literally about 18 times with chairs to take him down. The head shots don’t work as well due to the afro but they’re trying at least. Funk gets Meng in position for a DDT but Crowbar blasts him with a chair. Kick takes Crowbar down and the Tongan Death Grip gives Meng the title. He would be in the Royal Rumble a week later.

Rating: C. This got a lot better after the first five minutes or so. Meng as a total monster is a fun character. That’s probably why WWF signed him to a guaranteed deal a day or so after this while WCW was doing a pay per appearance kind of thing and thought there was nothing wrong with putting a title on him (his first actually). Meng would be in the Rumble seven days later as a surprising appearance and kind of as a big SCREW YOU to Bischoff as the Hardcore Division in WCW died with the title never being mentioned again other than I think once on Thunder.

Flair congratulates Miller for winning and says take the night off with caviar and champagne. Miller would prefer neckbone and collard greens. Flair says cool. This might be the most pointless segment I’ve ever seen.

Sid says he’ll win the title back tonight.

We recap the Thrillers vs. the Insiders. The Thrillers, in this case all of them, won a tag team battle royal to get the show.

Tag Titles: Chuck Palumbo/Sean O’Haire vs. The Insiders

Page and Nash are the Insiders and Nash used to coach the Thrillers. Speaking of the Thrillers the rest come out as backup. Sanders has all six Thrillers get in and says that he’s the coach so he’s going to make substitutions when he wants to. Flair comes out and says no. The Thrillers are sent to the back and we’re ready to go. Page and Palumbo start us off.

They spit at each other and slug it out with Page sending Chucky flying. Spinning Rock Bottom gets two. Page clears the ring and gets Palumbo again. And never mind as he tags in Nash to a decent pop. Off to O’Haire who is easily taken down. Nash misses some elbows but a big boot sends Sean to the mat. O’Haire escapes the onslaught and takes Nash down with a superkick.

Palumbo hammers away as I’m glad they upgraded Stasiak to O’Haire. Palumbo beats Nash down which is rather surprising. The former Vinnie Vegas fights out of that with relative ease and Snake Eyes put Palumbo down. Page comes in with a Kane-esque top rope clothesline. Palumbo gets another kick (running theme in this match) to send Page down for two.

Hudson says that was on instinct. It’s instinct to raise your arm when anyone counts to two? That might be a sign you watch too much wrestling. The Thrillers get a double slingshot suplex to Page for two. Page keeps getting close but he can’t bring in Nash. Palumbo keeps taunting Nash but Page fights out of the corner, just like he did last time. Palumbo tries a tombstone which is reversed into one by Page.

Hot tag to Nash and he cleans house. It’s weird seeing him move at more than an hour a year. There go the straps but here come the Thrillers. Of all people, Lex Luger comes through the crowd with a chair. He gets taken down anyway and Page chases Luger into the crowd. Nash tries to powerbomb O’Haire but Bagwell comes in with a wrench to the back of Nash. Seanton Bomb gives the Thrillers the title.

Rating: D+. This was a lot weaker than last month and the heel run in made no sense at all. Was Flair off hitting on some fitness model or something? The ending makes no sense but then again this is the show where that’s the norm. Weak match that was there to set up another angle and change the titles yet again. Moving on.

The Thrillers celebrate in the back.

Flair says it’s Showtime and gets in a car, apparently to go get the Mystery Man. I guess they were hinting at Sting there because they’re not that intelligent.

We recap Rection vs. Douglas which is just a feud where Douglas uses a chain a lot to cheat.

US Title: General Rection vs. Shane Douglas

This is a first blood chain match. Douglas says nothing of note. The chain is above the ring like in a ladder match. Douglas says this is about getting a world title shot. Then he says it’s about a woman. He doesn’t say anything about the US Title but I guess that’s implied. Ok so this is a first blood match and the chain is the only way to bust someone open I guess.

The referee checks for hidden chains on Douglas and actually finds one. Slugout to start with Morrus grabbing a knuckle lock to take over. Arm drag by Douglas as Rection demands that the referee ask him for a submission in an armbar. You know, because that makes sense. The fans want blood so Morrus finally realizes he’s in a first blood match and pounds away on the head.

Douglas fights back a bit but gets caught by a top rope clothesline to put him back down. This is just a match so far with very little emphasis on drawing blood. Shane stomps away and works on the knee. Figure four by Shane who I’m sure will blame Flair for the lack of psychology here. They go out to the floor which at least makes sense and head into the crowd.

After some punches by Shane and a shot to the railing by Rection we head back into the ringside area. Shane uses the figure four on the post but can’t get the leg up that far at all and pushed down on it with his head. Dude, you’re too lazy to throw a leg up there? Seriously? I mean SERIOUSLY?

Back in and Morrus manages a gorilla press because he’s just fine now. He hits the floor and pulls out a ladder which allows Tony to point out the obvious: HIT HIM WITH THE LADDER TO MAKE HIM BLEED!!! I mean dude how hard is that? He gets the chain but the ladder is shoved down to hit the referee. Shane pulls out another chain and busts Rection open with it for the win.

Rating: F. A first blood match was 11 minutes long and had a total of one shot to set up the blood. I mean dude, how hard could this possibly be? Apparently it was too hard for these idiots to figure out as they managed to screw it up. Terribly dull match for a gimmick match, not bad match for a regular match. But it wasn’t a regular match now was it?

Steiner says he doesn’t trust anyone.

General Rection is furious and says it’s not worth it anymore.

We recap Totally Buff vs. Goldberg/Sarge. Sarge is the guy that trained Goldberg. Goldberg has to get to 177-0 to get another title shot or he’s fired and Bagwell got mad because he was tired of being screwed over so he and Luger teamed up to try to get rid of Goldberg in this match.

Sgt. Dwayne Bruce/Goldberg vs. Totally Buff

Sarge has a broken arm and the entrances take about five minutes. Goldberg vs. Luger get us going here. You know, Russo made the deal about Goldberg having to win 176 in a row. Why doesn’t Flair just overturn that? Goldberg throws Luger around and throws him to Bagwell who says “Who me?” “Yeah you!’ For some reason that was funny for me. Bagwell hammers away and no sells a suplex.

Goldberg beats down Bagwell and brings in the career jobber Sarge. Sarge beats on him for a bit with a middle rope elbow. I forgot that this is no DQ. Sarge runs into some double teaming, so why doesn’t Goldberg just come in and destroy them? He can’t get disqualified. Actually he does that and the referee throwing him out. How does that make sense?

Luger hammers on Sarge for awhile and Bagwell adds a double arm DDT. Off to the chinlock now as the fans are still in this. Luger gets one of the worst forearm smashes you’ll ever see for two. Thankfully they remember the plate that is allegedly in there. So it can knock out Bret Hart but it barely puts Dwayne Bruce down for two? Only in wrestling would that make sense.

Double tag brings in Goldberg and Luger. HUGE pop for Goldberg. Seriously how in the world did they manage to mess him up? Now we get to the stupid part here. Remember the kid from earlier with the autograph? He’s like 17 or so and Luger goes after him. Goldberg makes the save and the kid maces him.

Goldberg pulls him over the railing and security dives on the kid…..then just let him go and stand at ringside. Punk was right. Wrestling security sucks. Back in the ring Goldberg fights blind for awhile until Luger pops him with a chair a few times and a double Blockbuster (think a Doomsday Device) ends the career. For the month at least.

Rating: D. Weak tag match that was hurt even worse by the ending. Yes a fan that he signed an autograph before earlier was the big answer. Why Luger or Bagwell didn’t bring the mace in themselves is anyone’s guess but hey why not just let a young looking guy do it instead? Either way at least it’s over and they can quit ruining Goldberg for now. HHH got to do that in 03 which is the next time he would be seen.

By the way the fans are totally dead now.

We recap the main event which is Steiner vs. Sid vs. Jarrett vs. a Mystery Man. Steiner and Jarrett hooked up last month at Starrcade to form the Super Worst Friends as the evil team. Flair tried to tell Steiner he couldn’t trust anyone, so they might as well just say SWERVE right now.

WCW World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Scott Steiner vs. ???

Flair comes out after the three known people and says the Mystery Man will be here later. Steiner goes after Flair but Jarrett stops him. Sid is in jean shorts here instead of full tights like he was last month. Sid clears the ring and hammers away on both of them for awhile. Jarrett is trying to give up the match apparently. Oh dear. Steiner falls trying to get out of the ring which sums up the whole thing perfectly.

Steiner gets the clothesline, the elbow and the pushups. Sid is sent into the front row and Jarrett adds a Stunner onto the railing. Steiner adds a belt shot to the face as you wonder now why Jarrett doesn’t lay down in the ring and let Steiner get the quick pin to retain. Apparently that would have been a better idea as Sid fights back. Can’t powerbomb Jarrett though and the beatdown continues.

They beat down Sid and Jarrett is told to cover him by Steiner. The announcers think there’s something going on here. Sid fights back and this a double suplex which was rather impressive in theory. He more or less DDTed Steiner and suplexed Jarrett. Here’s the comeback as Sid hits a bunch of clotheslines and a chokeslam on Jarrett for two.

Cobra clutch slam puts Steiner down and Sid follows Jarrett to the floor. Jarrett is sent to the front row and we cut to the back to see Flair bring someone out of the limo from earlier who looks like he’s in a Jason Vorhees mask. We cut back to the arena…..and Sid has broken his leg to the point where it looks like a twisty straw.

The problem now is that they can’t do anything because Sid can’t move and they can’t touch him and since Steiner and Jarrett are friends they can’t do anything. Flair’s music FINALLY comes on and the mystery dude is here. There’s a trainer in the ring already to check on Sid so you can tell how bad it is. The Mystery Man comes in and kicks Sid in the head so Steiner can pin him to end this.

Rating: D. That’s not factoring in the ending because clearly that’s not what they had planned as Sid was injured so badly he wouldn’t wrestle for about a year. The match up to that point was pretty weak though as we were just waiting on the mystery dude to get there, making it a lame duck match. Anyway, weak match to end a weak end of the show.

And the Mystery Man is Road Warrior Animal, making the whole thing a bigger joke than it already was. This resulted in the debut of the next super heel stable: the Magnificent Seven, which was comprised of Flair, the Steiners, Luger, Bagwell, Animal and Jarrett. And you wonder why they went out of business.

Overall Rating: C-. The first 40-45 minutes of this can rival any opening 40-45 minutes of a PPV I have ever seen. It was that good. Then they had the other two hours and the show falls apart. You get to the “draws” and the big matches and it’s more uninteresting wrestling with bad matches between people no one wanted to see but they keep throwing him in anyway just because they were the stars and that was all there was to it. GREAT opening part and well worth watching, but stop it after the Dragons match. The rest is ok, but just ok.

 

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