ECW On Sci Fi
Date: May 8, 2007
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s another big show as we have the ECW World Title on the line. This time around that means Rob Van Dam challenging Vince McMahon…..with Shane McMahon and Umaga, because that’s how the title goes. Since it’s supposed to be EXTREME though, the stipulation makes logical sense. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Earlier today, Bobby Lashley arrived but ran into Armando Alejandro Estrada, flanked by police. If Lashley tries to get in or touches Estrada, he’s under arrest. That’s fine with Lashley, who shoves Estrada (in his wheelchair) into a dumpster (after a long ride). Lashley: “I guess you guys have to arrest me.” How do you get through this without showing any emotion?

Opening sequence, capped off by Vince McMahon as ECW World Champion.

CM Punk vs. Marcus Cor Von

Elijah Burke, who is facing Punk at Judgment Day, is here with Cor Von. As the match starts, we get a crawler saying that Edge just became the new World Heavyweight Champion. That’s one way to advertise things. Punk knocks Cor Von outside but gets clotheslined down for his efforts. Back in and Cor Von starts hammering away at the ribs, setting up the bearhug.

Cor Von drives him into the corner and puts on the bearhug again, followed by a waistlock to stay on the ribs. Punk slips out and grabs a neckbreaker for a much needed breather and a rather delayed two. A neck snap across the top rope sets up a springboard clothesline to give Punk two more but the tornado DDT is tossed outside. Burke gets in a cheap shot, allowing Cor Von to hit the Pounce for the pin.

Rating: C. Storyline advancement 201 here and that’s what it should have been. Cor Von gets a win and the Punk vs. Burke match gets a little more advancement. That’s a rather nice way to spend ten minutes and it’s not like Punk is hurt by a cheating loss. I think you know where this is going at Judgment Day and that’s perfectly fine.

We recap Edge becoming Mr. Money in the Bank on Raw.

Here’s another look at the Condemned.

Sandman vs. Snitsky

Given that Snitsky is Raw bound, this might be interesting. The big boot finishes Sandman in less than a minute. This was not interesting.

Vince McMahon is rather pleased with the Sandman being destroyed. Now that Bobby Lashley is in jail, they’re going to crush Rob Van Dam. Umaga screams a lot.

Extreme Expose.

We recap Vince McMahon winning the ECW World Title, Vince tormenting Bobby Lashley last night on Raw and Lashley getting arrested earlier today.

Elijah Burke tells Matt Striker that the New Breed is on a role and takes credit for what they have been doing. Burke wants Striker at ringside for his match tonight.

Elijah Burke vs. Brian Major

Matt Striker and Brett Major are here too. Burke takes him into the corner to start and hits a hard knee to the face to put Major down. A hard right hand puts Major down again and Burke knocks him into the corner again. Major slugs away for a comeback, only to miss a springboard spinning crossbody. The Elijah Experience finishes in a hurry.

Post match Burke tells Striker that’s how it’s done.

Kevin Thorn and Ariel have a bright future (in fresh blood), but it’s not with the New Breed.

ECW World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Umaga/Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Van Dam is challenging and Shane handles his partners’ introductions. Shane starts for the team and it’s time for some shuffling. A rollup and armdrag have Shane in trouble, as he looks like he’s in over his head. Rob starts firing off the kicks, including one to cut off an invading Umaga. The numbers get the better of him though and Umaga shoves him into the barricade to take over.

Back in and Shane works on an armbar before throwing Van Dam back outside for another beating from Umaga. This time Umaga comes in to drop the big leg, followed by the Samoan drop. Van Dam gets pounded into the corner but manages a kick to the head to start the comeback. It’s time to go up but Shane crotches him, setting up the top rope superplex. Umaga adds the top rope splash and the Spike, allowing Vince to come in and steal the pin.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what else you were expecting here as it was Van Dam failing to beat impossible odds. While this match wasn’t great, it did a nice job of making Bobby Lashley look that much better when he pulls off the upset. Van Dam never had a chance here and I don’t think anyone was expecting otherwise, especially with the pay per view already set.

Post match the ECW Originals run out for the save to end the show. Joey: “Has Vince McMahon just killed the spirit of the original ECW?” After everything you’ve seen, that match is what killed ECW?

Overall Rating: C. Pretty run of the mill show here, which was more designed to set things up for the future than anything else. It wasn’t a bad show by any means but it also wasn’t particularly good, meaning we’ll put it right in the middle. There are things set up for the future and now we get to see how those stories play out, which means the plans are working.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: December 5, 2006
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re officially done with December To Dismember and for all intent and purpose, done with the original version of the relaunched ECW. This is now the third brand instead of something that has any kind of unique feeling to it and that is going to make for a pretty interesting change going forward. Bobby Lashley is now ECW Champion so let’s get to it.

Here is December To Dismember if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Bobby Lashley winning the ECW Title inside the Elimination Chamber.

Paul Heyman was in tears after the pay per view, as Big Show is not only the former champion but his blood is also on Heyman’s tie. The rematch is this week….and that’s the last we’ll see of Paul Heyman for five and a half years.

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam/CM Punk vs. Test/Hardcore Holly

More Chamber fallout. Punk and Van Dam dedicate the match to Sabu because he should have been in the Chamber with him. Holly starts with Van Dam as the lights seem to be flickering a bit. Rob kicks him down to start and hits a split legged moonsault to the back. Test pulls him to the floor though and stomps away, followed by Holly grabbing a suplex for two back inside.

It’s off to Test to hit a basement clothesline for two and Holly comes back in to get kicked in the face. The hot tag brings in Punk to strike away, followed by the bulldog out of the corner. The Alabama Slam is countered into the Anaconda Vice but here are Heyman’s security guards for the DQ.

Rating: C-. They didn’t have much time to work with here but it kept Van Dam and Punk strong (outside of the Chamber at least). Test and Holly might as well be Goon #1 and Goon #2 at this point, though I’m not sure who is supposed to replace them on the heel totem pole. They’ll do fine for now though.

Post match the beatdown is on but Sabu, with his arm in a sling, makes the save. Van Dam hits a Five Star and Sabu adds the Arabian Facebuster.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Daivari

Rematch from December to Dismember though Dreamer is mostly destroyed after being attacked by Great Khali on Sunday. Daivari dropkicks him down but Dreamer, with his shirt torn to exposed the bandaged shoulder, comes back with a spinebuster. The DDT finishes Daivari in a hurry.

Post match here is Great Khali to beat down Dreamer, including the chokeslam onto a chair.

BUY THE DECEMBER TO DISMEMBER REPLAY!

Next week’s show is on Saturday.

Big Show promises to win the title back because it took five people and a bunch of weapons to beat him. Tonight, he is taking the title back. This was as old school talk to the camera style as you are getting in this era.

Kelly Kelly vs. Ariel

Kelly is here by herself and looks terrified. Kevin Thorn is here with Ariel….or at least he is until he is ejected before the match. The catfight is on to start and Kelly grabs a rollup for the pin in less than a minute.

Post match here is Mike Knox with flowers to make peace with Kelly. He apologizes for what he did at December To Dismember and gets on his knees to beg her forgiveness. Then he dumps her and hits a swinging neckbreaker before walking out. Tazz of all people gets in to check on Kelly.

Kane is still in See No Evil and it’s still on DVD.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Bobby Lashley

Show is challenging. Lashley slugs away with right hands to start until an elbow to the face cuts him down. Back up and Lashley starts going after Show’s arm but Show shrugs it off and puts on a kneeling bearhug. Lashley fights out but gets run over with ease and we take a break.

We come back with Lashley’s crossbody being countered into a World’s Strongest Slam for a near fall. Show stands on his back but Lashley manages to come back with a flying shoulder for two. That earns him a kick to the face to give Show two more and there’s a suplex to cut Lashley off again. We hit the abdominal stretch on Lashley with Show adding some right hands to the ribs for a bonus.

With that broken up, Lashley slugs away to little effect as Show puts him on top. A headbutt drops Show and Lashley nails a flying shoulder. More clotheslines put Show down again but the spear is countered with a chokeslam for two. Lashley can’t quite hold him up for a slam but it was close enough for two. A big boot and a clothesline sets up another slam (much better this time) for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: C-. Pretty dull match here that went longer than it needed to. Lashley getting the clean win over Show is a way to remove the basically non-existent doubt over his initial title reign. Show beat Lashley up and Lashley made his comeback to retain. What more else can you ask for in a match like this? This would be it for Show for over a year, so at least he went out putting Lashley over again.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t much of a show but then it’s kind of hard to get overly annoyed at this when everything was changing behind the scenes. I’m curious to see where things go from here, but it isn’t like what happened before all of the changes was all that great. Hopefully the new direction is better, though it’s not like there is any track record around here.

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December To Dismember
Date: December 3, 2006
Location: James Brown Arena, Augusta, Georgia
Attendance: 4,800
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Well here we go. For the first time ever, the reincarnated ECW is getting its own pay per view and we have two matches announced on the way in. One of those matches features two teams who aren’t on ECW and the other is the EXTREME Elimination Chamber. This is not exactly looking promising but let’s get to it.

The opening video entirely focuses on the Chamber, with nothing else getting any focus. So half of the matches got a look, so maybe things are looking up.

Hardys vs. MNM

This is the result of the Hardys’ open challenge and neither of the teams are on ECW. Matt starts with Mercury and shoulders him down, meaning it’s already off to a double standoff. With that settled down, Mercury shrugs off some arm cranking and hands it off to Nitro as everything breaks down again. The Hardys clean house and it’s Nitro blocking Jeff’s jawbreaker and taking him into the corner to put him in trouble for the first time.

Jeff isn’t having that either and fights out, allowing the tag off to Matt to pick up the pace again. Melina offers a distraction though and MNM manages a double gutbuster to take him down. A double belly to back faceplant gets two on Matt but he manages a double DDT. Jeff gets knocked off the apron and it’s MNM hitting Poetry In Motion to rock Matt again. Not that it matters as Matt fights up and makes it over to Jeff for the hot tag a few seconds later anyway.

Everything breaks down again and it’s time for the parade of dives onto the floor. Back in and Nitro hits a springboard missile dropkick for two on Jeff. A double catapult sends Jeff face first into the buckle and Mercury cranks on both of Jeff’s arms for a bit. Jeff gets flipped into the corner and some forearms to the back keep him in trouble. There’s a slingshot elbow for two and we hit the reverse chinlock.

With that broken up, another double catapult is countered as Jeff comes back with a double Whisper in the Wind. The hot tag brings in Matt, including the middle rope legdrop for two on Nitro. Back up and Nitro snaps off a super hurricanrana on Jeff but the Hardys get up again and nail stereo superplexes.

With Jeff up first, Melina gets on the apron but her slap is blocked by Jeff grabbing his arm. Jeff steps away and Nitro dropkicks Melina by mistake, setting up a rollup for a rather hot near fall. The Snapshot gets two with Matt making the save so MNM puts Jeff on top. Matt makes another save and neckbreakers them down, setting up the Swanton onto the two of them for the double pin.

Rating: B. It’s rather good and I don’t think anyone should be surprised by that. You had two great teams going at it in a twenty minute match. I’m not sure how this couldn’t be good, though it’s kind of disappointing to hear that both teams are splitting up after this. It doesn’t make sense given how good this was, but it isn’t like WWE really cares about the tag division anyway.

Commentary hypes up the Elimination Chamber. It isn’t a good sign that they need filler like this.

Rob Van Dam is ready to take the risks for the chance to become ECW Champion again.

Here’s Matt Striker for a chat and it’s time to go downhill. Striker talks about the chaos and destruction that is coming tonight in the Chamber. He asks the fans if they want to see someone like him in an extreme rules match. The fans approve, so Striker is going to be in an EXTREME RULES match tonight. Now that means an EXTREME enforcement of the RULES of course, meaning no eye gouging, hair pulling, coming off the top or foul language of course. Let’s see how extreme his opponent can be.

Matt Striker vs. Balls Mahoney

Mahoney throws him down to start so Striker comes back with some forearms. That’s broken up so Mahoney tries a cross armbreaker of all things, with Striker going straight to the ropes. More forearms to the back stagger Mahoney and striker sends him shoulder first into the post. A Regal Cutter gives Striker two and it’s time to crank on the arm.

Mahoney comes back with right hands to the face (Striker picks no eye gouging but ignores punches from a guy with a signature sequence involving punches to the face. Right.) but gets pulled into a Fujiwara armbar. That’s broken up and Mahoney’s arm gives out on the snap jab attempt. Striker crotches him on top and the Fujiwara armbar goes on again. Mahoney fights back up with a belly to back suplex and now the punches work. The sitout spinebuster finishes Striker off.

Rating: D. Ignoring the fact that we’re on pay per view, this wouldn’t have even been a good TV match. Striker wanted the rules enforced and then they had a regular match. Having Mahoney win was one of the two ways they could have gone, but if this was their way of giving the fans something to cheer for, we’re in a lot more trouble than I thought.

Brian Pillman has a DVD (not on Peacock obviously).

Sabu has been attacked. After losing on Tuesday, it isn’t like he had any momentum or chance anyway. So yeah he’s not likely for the main event and you can hear the BULLS*** chants as we come back to the arena.

Sylvester Terkay/Elijah Burke vs. FBI

Trinity is here with the FBI. Before the match, Burke promises that they will leave their mark like a wild beast in heat. Commentary drools over Trinity as Guido and Burke (in a hat) start things off. Guido takes him down (and steals his hat) by the arm and hands it off to Mamaluke. A few fans try a WHERE’S MY PIZZA chant ala the original ECW because he thinks it is still alive.

Terkay misses a splash in the corner but manages to pull Guido’s high crossbody out of the air. After Terkay throws the FBI outside, it’s back in for a chinlock from Burke. Guido fights up and hands it off to Mamaluke so the pace can pick up. A double dropkick into a double flapjack gets two on Burke but Terkay gets in a cheap shot from the apron. The Elijah Experience finishes Mamaluke.

Rating: D+. Slightly better match but that is mainly due to having slightly more interesting people involved. Terkay and Burke are two more people who don’t really feel like they belong in ECW but at least they did something here and add a little variety. Not much of a match, though you have to take what you can get on this show.

Post match, Terkay hits Guido with a MuscleBuster for a bonus.

CM Punk and Rob Van Dam watch Sabu being loaded into an ambulance.

Daivari vs. Tommy Dreamer

Great Khali is here with Daivari, who rants about how Khali in Farsi. Daivari hammers away to start but a glare from Dreamer sends him bailing outside (just don’t let Dreamer talk). Back in and a hiptoss sends Daivari right back to the floor but this time he comes back in with a dropkick. There’s a baseball slide to put Dreamer on the floor but he reverses a whip to send Daivari into the barricade.

Back in and Khali low bridges Dreamer right back to the floor, earning himself an ejection. The fans say they want hardcore but get a neck crank into a chinlock instead. Dreamer fights up drops backwards onto Daivari for the break, followed by a reverse DDT for two. The Death Valley Driver is broken up but Daivari catches him on top. That means the Tree of Woe into the running dropkick…..but then Daivari rolls him up with tights for the pin.

Rating: D-. Gah no. Another nothing match here which would have been bad either here or on television and that is hardly the kind of thing that is going to make the show better. The ending was pretty awful as Dreamer just started to get going and then Daivari pinned him without much thinking. Bad match, bad setup and worse ending, especially on this show.

Post match Dreamer chases Daivari up the stage, where Khali catches him with the tree slam. Therefore, we pause for Dreamer to be checked on but then get up.

Paul Heyman puts Hardcore Holly into the main event to replace Sabu. This is booed out of the building.

Kelly Kelly/Mike Knox vs. Ariel/Kevin Thorn

Oh this could be trouble. Before the match, Kelly wishes CM Punk luck in the main event. The guys start (thank goodness) by shoving each other around before Thorn clotheslines him down and grabs a quickly released neck crank. A hard clothesline cuts Knox down again and we hit another nothing chinlock.

Knox fights up with a slam for two and kicks Thorn in the face for a knockdown. This time it’s Knox cranking on Thorn’s neck but Ariel makes the save. She even stays in this time and wants Kelly to join her, meaning it’s time for a lot of hair pulling (Striker disapproves). A boot choke in the corner has Tazz losing his train of thought and an ax handle to the back cuts Kelly off again. Kelly manages to kick Ariel away though….and Knox walks out on her, leaving Ariel to hit a choke STO for the pin.

Rating: D-. It was a nothing match and the high point was Mike Knox vs. Kevin Thorn. This is airing on pay per view and would have been an ice cold match on TV in addition to the match being terrible as a bonus. I didn’t think this show could actually fall even further but this pay per view continues to amaze me.

Post match the beatdown stays on but Sandman makes the save. Thorn gets caned down and beer is consumed.

We get a video of Michael Cole running down the Armageddon card. Also not on Peacock.

Bobby Lashley says it is his destiny to win the title.

Video on the Elimination Chamber. Notice the high level of padding tonight.

We’re still not ready yet though as here is Paul Heyman, with security, for a chat. Heyman talks about how Hulkamania will die with Hulk Hogan and WOO will die with Ric Flair. ECW will live on behind him though, with Big Show as its champion. The days of Sandman and Sabu and Tommy Dreamer are over and it is the ECW of the Big Show. Now lower the Chamber!

ECW Title: Big Show vs. Hardcore Holly vs. CM Punk vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Test

Show is defending in the Extreme Elimination Chamber, meaning there is a weapon in each pod. Hardcore Holly is in at #1 and Rob Van Dam is in at #2 and there are five minute intervals. Holly takes him into the corner and starts kicking away but Rob pops up and gets sent into the cage….but holds onto the side because he can. The spinning high crossbody only hits the rope though and Van Dam crashes down again. Van Dam gets sent into the cage again but manages to get a boot up to cut off a diving Holly.

Rolling Thunder over the top rope hits Holly but he suplexes Van Dam back inside. There’s the dropkick and it’s CM Punk with his chair in at #3. A monkey flip sends Holly onto the chair and Punk kicks Van Dam down. The chair is wedged in the corner and Van Dam, who has been busted open somewhere in there, is sent hard into it. Punk kicks him again but Holly is back up with a side slam. Holly drops Punk onto the top rope and there’s a top rope superplex to take him down again.

Test, with his crowbar, is in at #4 and hits Punk in the ribs before clawing at Van Dam’s cut. Punk grabs a Stunner on Test of the top rope and the bloody Van Dam kicks Holly in the face. Van Dam skateboards the chair into Punk in the corner and hits the Five Star for the pin and the elimination for Punk’s first pinfall in WWE. Test kicks Holly in the face for an elimination, even if the count didn’t seem to go down properly. Van Dam goes up top but Test chairs him in the knee and pulls him right back down in a crash.

An elbow off the top of the pod onto the chair onto Van Dam is good for the elimination, meaning that the countdown to Lashley is official. It also means that the ring is clear, save for Test, for about a minute and a half because this match can’t time things either. Bobby Lashley with his table is….not allowed to get in because test and the security guards block the door. That’s fine with Lashley, who uses the table to break the roof open and climbs through the top. Eh points for a cool entrance.

Lashley unloads for a bit until Test gets him into the corner for some choking. Lashley suplexes him down, hits him with the crowbar, and nails a spear for the pin. Therefore, let’s wait a minute and a half before Big Show with his barbed wire baseball bat can come in at #6 to give us the showdown. Lashley has to use the chair to shield himself with the bat but manages to knock Show outside anyway. Show is sent through the pod to bust him open but he knocks Lashley down again. Back in and the chokeslam is countered into a DDT, followed by a spear for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. And that’s probably high. This was a really dull Chamber with the two badly times falls that left them sitting around with nothing to do for a few minutes. The match is less than twenty five minutes and you knew that Lashley had the title won with about ten minutes to go.

Look at the participants here. Van Dam, Show and Lashley are fine, but that leaves you with three pretty weak choices. Punk would go on to become a huge star, but at this point he had been around for a few months with his career consisting of feuds with Shannon Moore and Mike Knox. That is kind of lacking in any kind of meaningful wins in WWE and it showed badly. The other two are Test and Hardcore Holly as a replacement. That leaves you with three options, but Test dominated a good portion of the middle. That’s the best they could put together and that should tell you a whole low.

The show was long past the point of saving by the time we got to the match, but then they had this boring mess to make it even worse. There was no drama, the popular guys were done in less than fifteen minutes and the weapons managed to make it less violent than the previous Elimination Chambers. Not the worst match of all time, but pretty horrible and probably the worst Chamber match to date, if nothing else for the star power included and the lack of drama near the end.

Lashley’s pyro celebration ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. What is there to say about this show? It’s a good match, then a C level version of the C level TV show and a huge main event which bombed as hard as anything in recent memory. This show felt slapped together and I would bet on the middle four matches being thrown together earlier in the day. Outside of the opener, the best match on the card was the FBI vs. Sylvester Terkay and Elijah Burke. Do you get how far you have fallen to have those four in second place?

This show made it very clear that WWE did not care about ECW and there was no stopping the show’s collapse even further into nothingness. There was no effort, there was one good match out of six (featuring people not from ECW) and the main event was a mixture of predictable and bad. This is what we got for the first ECW pay per view, which does at least give us a special milestone.

With this show, you can officially say that the new ECW is done. There wasn’t much to the show coming in and then it got even worse here. The show resulted in Paul Heyman leaving WWE and ECW, making this nothing more than the dumping ground for the people with nothing else to do. It was clear that the show wasn’t going to mean anything and once Heyman left, there was no reason to pretend anymore.

Heyman argued with Vince McMahon about the show both before and after, resulting in Heyman walking out on the company and not being seen again for over five years. Heyman’s idea was to have Punk make Show submit early and win the title, which worked fine for Show. Instead, Punk goes out first to end his undefeated streak. Heyman knew that things were done so he left, and after this debacle, can you really blame him?

One thing that doesn’t get the attention it deserves is the middle of the card with the four matches between the two they actually advertised. Striker vs. Mahoney is at least a logical way to go and Daivari vs. Dreamer has been built up a bit on TV. That leaves you with a tag team squash and a mixed tag with three heels and Kelly Kelly. I know WWE has a lot of problems, but they know how to throw together a four match series better than this. This felt like they were trying to troll the fans (or at least Heyman) and with none of these matches even hitting eight minutes, the lack of effort is pretty clear.

This show is about as perfect of an example of a show where WWE didn’t care and we were just left to get over it. It was a week after Survivor Series and two weeks before Armageddon, so in addition to treating the fans to an awful show, how many fans who watched or heard about the show passed on the next show because of what WWE delivered here?

This didn’t feel like a pay per view (a two hour and fifteen minute run time, comparable to Coliseum Videos didn’t help either) and it has absolutely earned the reputation that it maintains. I know it isn’t quite the same thing as a top level WWE pay per view, but it is hard to think of anything that the company has released that is near its level. This show is a complete disaster and one of the all time bombs on pay per view.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: October 31, 2006
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s a holiday show and I’m not sure what that means. We are just over a month away from December To Dismember and the big story at the moment is Rob Van Dam beating Big Show for the second time in a row to guarantee an ECW Title shot. It is not clear when that match is taking place but we might find that out this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Rob Van Dam beating Big Show in a ladder match last week to become #1 contender for good.

Paul Heyman, in a rather bright suit, announces that Van Dam has chosen to have his title shot at December To Dismember. That’s fine with Heyman, but he has one more ruling to make: Van Dam and Big Show will be two of six entrants in the first ever EXTREME Elimination Chamber.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Kevin Thorn vs. Sabu

Ariel is here with Thorn, who is knocked outside in a hurry for the slingshot flip dive. Back in and Sabu’s springboard is countered into a sitout spinebuster (that looked good) for two. Thorn takes him down into an armbar for a bit, or at least until Sabu fights up for a springboard elbow. A springboard clothesline has Thorn in trouble but he clotheslines Sabu out of the air. Back up and Sabu nails a springboard tornado DDT, setting up the slingshot flipping Fameasser. The camel clutch makes Thorn tap.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t the biggest surprise in the world and that is ok in this case. Sabu is still one of the biggest stars in ECW so it makes sense to have him beat up a low level guy like Thorn. It isn’t like Thorn was going to go very far as a vampire in the first place so let him use whatever he has left to put others over instead.

Sandman wants your vote to face Umaga at Cyber Sunday and beats up a well placed clown.

Video on the animals near the set in the Marine.

Tazz gives Joey…..a noose. Ignore the guy in the gorilla suit behind them.

Here are the debuting Daivari and Great Khali and after a lot of ranting in whatever language Daivari speaks, it’s time for a debut.

Shannon Moore vs. Daivari

Moore is distracted by Khali (who was staring him down) and Daivari starts in on the arm. That’s broken up and Moore hits a few shots to the face, only to get caught in a hammerlock DDT for the fast pin.

Khali lays Moore out post match. This is a good move as ECW has been dying for both fresh blood and new main event stars. It’s like they’re trying to improve!

Rob Van Dam isn’t surprised that Paul Heyman is trying a trick, but he is probably going to be pretty good inside an Extreme Elimination Chamber. Hardcore Holly interrupts and blames Van Dam’s extreme style for his injury. They’re partners tonight and this time around, Holly has his back.

And now, a Diva Halloween costume contest. There are three women, all of whom get to disrobe. Trinity has the bottom half of a swimsuit and caution tape around the top. Ariel is in pretty much her usual attire and even Justin Roberts calls her out on it. Kelly Kelly is dressed as Punk, complete with the taped up fists, tattoos (including the Pepsi logo) and STRAIGHT EDGE written on her stomach. Believe it or not, Trinity wins with ease. Cue Mike Knox to yell at Kelly but the real CM Punk makes the save.

Post break, Knox challenges Punk for next week.

Rob Van Dam/Hardcore Holly vs. Big Show/Test

Holly and Test start, though the fans cheer for and receive Van Dam. Some elbows to the face have Rob in trouble but he’s right back out of the corner with a spinning high crossbody. Granted that doesn’t mean much when Test pulls him out of the air, but he does manage to escape and hand it off to Holly. This time it’s Test getting beaten down, allowing Van Dam to come back in for a legdrop in the corner.

Test is back up to send Van Dam into Show’s boot but Rob kicks him out to the floor. A running crossbody over the top knocks Holly to the floor and we take a break. Back with Test elbowing away in the corner and choking Rob with his boot. Rob comes back with a spinning kick to the face but it’s off to Show to blast Holly with a clothesline. Holly’s chops are cut off with a superkick and Test sends him shoulder first into the post.

Show comes back in but misses the Vader Bomb, allowing Rob to come back in. A shot to the knee lets Rob hit a top rope flip attack, followed by Rolling Thunder. Everything breaks down and the referee gets bumped as Holly hits the spinning Alabama Slam on Test. Show runs Holly over but Rob is up with the top rope kick to the face. Rob follows him to the floor….but the gorilla from earlier hits Van Dam with a pipe. The chokeslam finishes Van Dam.

Rating: C+. Not too bad here as Test continues to be the surprise of ECW. He isn’t lighting the world on fire but he is perfectly fine in the monster role and that’s all he needs to be. It’s also not the best sign for Holly’s future that he still hasn’t won anything since his injury, but I can see why pushing Holly might not be the most popular idea in the world.

It’s Heyman in the gorilla suit.

Overall Rating: C. Pretty fast show here but the best thing is bringing in another big star. I know Khali might not be everyone’s favorite, but this show has been dying for another main event name. Hopefully the move breathes some life into the place, though Khali does have a pretty firm ceiling above him. Just having a target like December To Dismember should help a lot, though I have no idea what they are going to be able to put on the card with six names in one match.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: October 3, 2006
Location: Landon Arena, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Things have gotten a bit more interesting around here in recent weeks after Hardcore Holly ripped his back apart in a match with Rob Van Dam last week. That is the kind of moment that made this place actually feel extreme and if they can do something like that (without horribly injuring someone) they might be onto something. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Paul Heyman and Hardcore Holly look at the injury last week with Heyman saying Holly can’t wrestle Rob Van Dam tonight, no matter how much he wants to. Heyman is worried about a lawsuit but Holly grabs him by the coat (Heyman: “BOB!”) and shoves him into a locker. Cue Test with a chair to the back to put Holly down in agony. Test will get to face Rob Van Dam tonight instead.

Opening sequence.

Sandman/Sabu vs. Matt Striker/Big Show

That is one of the oddest tag matches I have ever seen. Sabu and Show start things off with the right hands not having any effect on the giant. A headbutt drops Sabu and it’s off to Striker to slowly stomp away. The springboard leg lariat puts Striker down but Show low bridges Sabu out to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Show suplexing Sabu so Striker can get two. Striker sends Sabu face first into Show’s raised boot and then takes him down by the hair. Sabu gets in a shot of his own though and the hot tag brings in Sandman (to a heck of a pop). Everything breaks down and Show breaks up the White Russian legsweep. A splash from Show lets Striker steal the pin.

Rating: D+. As weird as that was, including the loud pop for Sandman’s hot tag, this wasn’t much of a match. I’m not sure what you would have expected from something like this though, as you have Show and almost no one else, which doesn’t make for the strongest setup. I do like them trying something fresh though as they have to bring in someone new at some point.

We look at Holly being attacked again. Turning Holly face off of that injury would be….I’m not sure how that would work actually.

Kelly Kelly and Trinity promote next week’s Extreme Strip Poker with Kelly opening her top to reveal a pair of strategically placed aces.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Kevin Thorn

Ariel is here with Thorn, who shoves Dreamer off the middle rope to start and hammers away. A missed charge in the corner lets Dreamer grab a neckbreaker for two and there’s a swinging neckbreaker for the same. The Dreamer DDT gets two as Ariel puts the foot on the rope. The referee yells at her, allowing Thorn to get in the walking stick shot for the pin.

Rating: D+. Another lame match here, mainly due to the time. Thorn still feels like a token supernatural character and that isn’t the most appealing idea. Dreamer is still fine enough for a midcard spot around here and it would be weird to not have him as part of ECW. Not very good here, but what else were they supposed to do?

The Marine still exists.

Maria and Candice Michelle want to play poker.

CM Punk vs. Danny Doring

Butterfly backbreaker into the kick to the head and Anaconda Vice for the tap in just over a minute.

Post match Kelly Kelly comes out and dances for Punk but Mike Knox cuts her off. Knox tells him to stay away from Kelly, but Punk says she won’t stay away from him. The brawl is teased but doesn’t happen.

Ashley and Kristal have more poker trash talk, because that’s a thing.

Rob Van Dam vs. Test

Extreme Rules. Van Dam kicks away to start but gets sent outside in a heap. The choking on the barricade doesn’t work but neither does Rob’s spinning kick to the back. That’s enough for a banged up knee so Test grabs the steps, which bounce off the post and fall back onto his face instead. Despite the bad knee, Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder onto Test onto the steps.

The table is set up at ringside but Test blasts him with a clothesline back inside. A chair is kicked into Rob’s face and Test puts another one in the corner. Rob is able to grab a chair and throw it at Test’s face, setting up a heck of a sunset powerbomb to send Test through the table (in a nice call back to Holly’s injury). We take a break and come back with Paul Heyman coming out to the ring. Test kicks Van Dam low and then sends him outside, where the security guards beat up Van Dam even more.

Back in and Van Dam is sent head first into the chair in the corner for two. The bearhug goes on so Rob escapes in a hurry, only to get chaired in the face again. The turnbuckle pad was taken off somewhere in there but Van Dam kicks him down for a save. Rob skateboards the chair into Test’s face in the corner but Rolling Thunder only hits chair.

Test goes up top with a chair and drives it onto the chair onto Van Dam’s face (that looked good) for two. Another table is set up inside, where Van Dam counters a powerbomb into a sunset flip for two of his own. Test goes into the exposed buckle and is then sat on the table, but Van Dam has to go after the security guards. Cue Show to send Van Dam through the table and Test’s TKO is good for the pin.

Rating: B-. That has to be Test’s best match ever and while it was hidden behind a bunch of smoke and mirrors, it worked out rather well in the end. Test gets the big win and Van Dam’s punishment continues, but they need to give him something sooner or later. Heck of a main event though and I had a lot of fun with the whole thing.

Overall Rating: C+. The main event helped a lot but next week’s show does not sound like their best offering. It’s good that they are setting up stories for later, but there are still a bunch of things that are not exactly interesting. The strip poker deal might be the biggest ratings ploy ever and feels like it belongs on Raw in 1999, though it should do its job well enough. I liked enough stuff on here and given where some of the previous shows had been, this worked fine.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: September 26, 2006
Location: Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Tazz, Joey Styles

Things are starting to round into form around here, but the question is whether or not that is a good thing. There are some parts of the show that work well enough, but there are so many that don’t and it is showing badly. As usual, this is likely going to depend on the guest star so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Jim Ross as the special guest. JR is glad to be here and talks about how he got his start in this very building. He says ECW reminds him of Mid-South and here’s Matt Striker to interrupt. Striker is out here on Paul Heyman’s behalf because he knows JR is uneducated. JR is wearing a blue shirt because he is blue collar and probably enjoys drinking ALCOHOL! Just like Sandman! Striker criticizes the cowboy hat (fair) so here’s Sandman to clean house, with JR getting a cane shot to Striker’s back. JR toasts Sandman, who is getting a title shot against Big Show tonight.

Hardcore Holly is ready to show Rob Van Dam what extreme is.

Hardcore Holly vs. Rob Van Dam

Extreme Rules. Van Dam throws him hard into the corner for a running elbow and a superkick puts Holly on the floor. That lets Rob hit the spinning kick to the back over the barricade and it’s table time. As usual, that takes too long and Holly jumps him from behind and stomps away in the corner. We hit the reverse chinlock, with some EXTREME closeups of Van Dam’s face.

Van Dam makes it to the ropes so Holly runs him over again. Holly goes out to the apron to suplex him through the table and we take a break. Back with Holly’s back sliced to shreds with a HORRIBLE looking gash near his side. The fans even chant for him as he drops Van Dam’s throat across an open chair. A middle rope legdrop onto a chair onto Van Dam’s face has Holly writhing in pain as there is so much blood on Holly’s back. Van Dam is back with a suplex onto the chair, making the blood flow even harder.

There’s a monkey flip out of the corner as Holly is probably ready to kill Van Dam for every one of these moves. The chair is skateboarded into Holly’s face but he counters another monkey flip into a powerbomb onto the chair for two. Van Dam kicks him down again and tries the Five Star, only to get the chair thrown into his face. The Alabama Slam is broken up so Holly punches him in the face but staggers a bit. Back up and the Van Daminator sets up the Five Star for a delayed pin, allowing Holly to head off for a transfusion.

Rating: B. Holly deserves all the credit in the world for this one as no one would have held it against him for stopping the match. That was one of the more gruesome injuries I have seen in a very long time and it was hard to watch this more than once. Heck of an effort, but it probably should have been stopped for his own good.

Medics are IMMEDIATELY in the ring to cover the wound and Holly gets a big and well deserved standing ovation.

CM Punk explains straightedge and wants tougher competition. Kelly Kelly comes in and mentions EXTREME Strip Poker in two weeks. She swoons over his tattoos and mentions being 19 but here’s Mike Knox to take her away. Threats are made and Punk says he’s ready whenever.

John Cena has a wife in the Marine.

Ariel vs. Francine

Extreme Catfight. Before the match, Ariel talks about how horrible Francine’s life is and how much she’ll wish to be with Kevin Thorn. The fight is on with Ariel losing some clothes until Thorn comes in to pull Francine off. Balls Mahoney come sin for the save and we’re done in about a minute.

Video on Sandman.

Paul Heyman and Big Show talk about the Singapore cane being legal in the main event.

Rene Dupree gets out of the show in an extreme manner.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Sandman

Sandman is challenging and the Singapore cane is legal. Joined in progress with Sandman caning away as we hear about Holly needing 24 stitches to sew up the gash (which went down to the fatty tissue). Show, bleeding, gets up from the cane shots and knocks Sandman around. A headbutt and heavy clothesline take Sandman down but he throws the left hands. Sandman counters the chokeslam into a DDT and more cane shots give Sandman two. Cue Matt Striker to take the cane away though and the cobra clutch backbreaker has Sandman mostly done. The big leg retains the title.

Rating: D. This was much more of a match than I would have expected but you’re only going to get so much out of Sandman throwing punches and cane shots. Sandman was working harder than usual here and while he was trying, there is a pretty firm limit to what he can do. For a one off though, it was a nice way to give Show someone else to beat up.

Overall Rating: C. That opener carried everything about the show and there wasn’t much else they could have done on the show. Above all else, Holly vs. Van Dam felt extreme rather than just violent. We’re long past the point of this show being like ECW, but it is nice to pay some lip service to that occasionally, even if it is just by mistake in one match. Not a very good show, but that wound on Holly has stayed in my head since I saw this show when it first aired for a reason.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: September 12, 2006
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,298
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Oh yeah I’d say this is a special one. I know that this isn’t the original ECW and it is pretty much the same in name only, but it has to be an especially cool moment for these guys to make it to the World’s Most Famous Arena. We’re still setting up Hardcore Holly as Paul Heyman’s newest enforcer against the combined powers of Rob Van Dam and Sabu. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Paul Heyman, now billed as the Father Of Extreme Championship Wrestling, and with his bodyguards, to open the show. He talks about how everyone is here to witness something special because this is the center of the universe. Heyman talks about how important this building is to a kid who grew up in New York and he thanks….himself for making this happen.

Who else is he supposed to thank? Five years ago, he listened to the people and ECW went out of business. Now he is listening to Vince McMahon on how to grow ECW and it has gone from the Bingo Hall to the Garden. Cue Sabu to take out the bodyguards and get in a few shots on Heyman until the guards get up to pull him off. The guards get Heyman out so Heyman makes Sabu vs. Big Show in an Extreme Rules match for the title. Sabu dives onto the guards. You could hear how special this was to Heyman and that’s pretty cool.

Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly

It’s a brawl to start with Holly backdropping him to the floor and hitting a dive of his own. Rob kicks away but misses the spinning kick from the apron for the big crash. Back in and Holly chokes away on the ropes but a middle rope elbow….well it wasn’t supposed to connect as Van Dam raised his boot but it did connect with Van Dam’s face anyway so it was kind of a weird landing. Rob kicks him down and hits the monkey flip out of the corner, only to get crotched on top. The top rope superplex is broken up though and Van Dam loads up the Five Star but here are Test, Stevie Richards and Mike Knox for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Holly may not be much of a threat to Van Dam but he’s fine as a hard hitting villain who could make him break a sweat. That’s all he needs to be, but ECW could use an imposing or at least threatening heel wrestler outside of Big Show. Test and Knox aren’t exactly people who are going to be top level villains and that can only go so far.

Post match the big beatdown is on until Sandman and Tommy Dreamer make the save. Richards takes the beating. The Old vs. New feud may not be the most original idea but what else are they supposed to do with these guys?

Video on the Marine.

CM Punk vs. Shannon Moore

Fallout from Punk calling him a poser last week. Moore slaps him in the face to start but Punk grabs the Vice in the corner. Some knees set up the strikes to the face into the Rock Bottom. The Anaconda Vice makes Moore tap in a hurry. Thank goodness, as I don’t think I could handle Moore as someone supposed to be taken seriously.

Post break, Kelly Kelly comes up to rub CM Punk’s chest and say what a big fan she is. She would love to go to one of those wild and crazy nightclubs with Punk but she’s only 19. Mike Knox comes in to get rid of her.

Rene Dupree vs. Balls Mahoney

Kevin Thorn and Ariel are at ringside. Dupree gets sent into the corner for the snap jabs to start but Dupree hits him in the face. A middle rope elbow gets two and the French Tickler makes its return (with Tazz not wanting to sing). Back up and they slug it out with Mahoney’s sitout spinebuster getting two. A Cactus Clothesline puts both of them on the floor so it’s chair time, with the referee taking it away from Mahoney. Ariel offers a distraction and Thorn sends Mahoney off the apron and head first into the steps to give Dupree the pin.

Rating: D+. Much like Moore, am I supposed to take Dupree seriously? It wouldn’t seem to be the case, but it also doesn’t make ECW look all that important. These guys weren’t being featured on WWE TV for a reasons and they feel like people who are there because WWE has nowhere else to put them. The repackaging can only do so much, but at least they’re trying. Kind of.

Matt Striker doesn’t like the fans drinking giggle water and watching Sandman. That isn’t good, so the choice is yours: cheer Sandman or come to class and learn.

We look back at HHH vs. Vince McMahon from last night, including Big Show coming in to help the McMahons beat down DX.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Sabu

Show, with Paul Heyman and security, is defending and it’s Extreme Rules. Sabu whips out a table and chair and after a break, Show swats the chair out of the air. Show knocks him down and sends Sabu to the floor for the beatdown from security. Back in and some headbutts put Sabu down and a running clothesline does it again. Sabu gets smart by kicking him low and now the thrown chair works a bit better.

Show is crotched on the ropes and a jumping kick to the face puts him on the floor. The fans want tables but have to settle for Show running Sabu over again. The chokeslam through the table is countered into a DDT through the table for two instead and some more chair shots put Show through a table at ringside. Show gets posted and Sabu sets up another table but Sabu’s dive is countered into a chokeslam through said table. Back in and the cobra clutch backbreaker retains the title.

Rating: C-. The matches are fine enough for what they are but how many times can we see these two do the same thing? Sabu isn’t going to win the title and we established that a pretty long time ago. Show needs a new challenger, but other than Rob Van Dam, who is there to do that right now? I get why they needed to do a title match in MSG but they need something different to do going forward. I’m just not sure what that is.

Overall Rating: D+. While the Garden is the big point here, and it’s really cool that ECW got to do something there, it’s also not a good show or a good sign for their future. ECW really, really needs to upgrade their roster and I’m not sure how important it is for WWE to send more talent over here. The old vs. new stuff is fine enough and Show works as a champion, but he needs challengers and a lot of the card is pretty weak. I’m not expecting WWE to make that better though and that’s why ECW keeps feeling like it’s in big trouble long term.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: September 5, 2006
Location: Civic Center, Columbus, Georgia
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s time for more guest stars as a ticked off DX is here to face Big Show in a handicap match. For once this is actually part of a story as DX will be facing Show and the McMahons in the Cell at Unforgiven. Hopefully this serves as a good setup for the match, but you never can tell what you are going to get around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of DX surviving against the McMahons and company at Summerslam.

DX arrives and confirms that this is the right place (HHH: “Bingo.”). Good thing their travel arrangements were properly made.

Opening sequence.

Sabu/Rob Van Dam vs. Test/Mike Knox

Extreme Rules and Kelly Kelly is here with the monsters. Since it’s Extreme Rules, we start with Sabu vs. Knox because WWE doesn’t understand their own rules. Sabu gets in a shot to Knox and quickly brings in Van Dam, which is probably the best idea in the “extreme” portion. The first table is loaded up at ringside and Sabu grabs a chair for a bonus. Rob manages a spinwheel kick in the corner and Rolling Thunder gets two on Test. Sabu comes in for his half of a double springboard leg lariat for two on Knox.

Everything breaks down (at least they didn’t waste time) and Van Dam has to kick Test in the face to save Sabu from a gorilla press. Everyone but Sabu fight on the apron in front of the table so Sabu uses the chair as a launchpad to drive through all through said table. We take a break and come back with Test breaking up the Triple Jump Moonsault but getting chaired into the corner.

Van Dam skateboards the chair into Test’s face but Knox chairs him down to break up the Five Star. There’s a superplex to Van Dam, only to have Sabu hit Knox with a chair for two. Another chair shot gets one with Test making the save but Air Sabu hits him in the corner. The Triple Jump Moonsault connects for a rather delayed two and it’s time for a fresh table. Rob starts throwing the chairs and it’s the guillotine legdrop/Five Star to drive Knox through the table for the pin.

Rating: C+. The dumb tagging part aside, this actually felt like something involving ECW, which is one of the only times that has been the case so far. If nothing else, it would be a lot to take to see Sabu and Van Dam lose to these two goons. At least they seem to be starting to move in a slightly better direction, but it might already be too late.

Kevin Thorn and Ariel do their tarot card thing and decide it means something sexual.

It’s time for Striker’s Classroom with Striker telling everyone that they’re stupid. These people need to stop learning about Michael Vick and read more books by Rush Limbaugh. He’s too smart to be stupid though and as a result, he won’t swim in the ocean with stingrays (it was earlier in the week). Cue Sandman through the crowd (Striker: “You’re a little bit inebriated! Come on!”) to chase Striker off and write SUX under Striker’s name on the chalkboard. Striker says that just proved his point before leaving.

Video on the Marine.

Stevie Richards vs. Balls Mahoney

Before the match, Kevin Thorn and Ariel come to the commentary booth, where Ariel climbs onto Joey for a lap dance. Richards takes Mahoney down inside as Joey is sounding a little more nervous than usual. Mahoney fights out of a chinlock in a hurry but is right back down in it a few seconds later. This time the comeback actually works with Mahoney getting a rollup for two. Thorn and Ariel get on the apron for a distraction though and Richards hits a low blow for the fast pin.

Shannon Moore says he’s bringing sexy back. CM Punk comes up to call him a poser and slaps him in the face. Punk leaves and Moore starts crying.

Big Show vs. D-Generation X

Non-title and Paul Heyman and his security are here. Before the match, Heyman says he has made a mistake and this will NOT be under Extreme Rules. There are no tags here so HHH slugs away and helps Shawn get in a DDT. Show isn’t having any of this double suplex stuff though and sends DX into various corners.

The Vader Bomb misses but it’s time for the security guards to go after HHH. That leaves Shawn alone with Show in the ring, where a gorilla press cuts off the LET’S GO DX chant. We hit the bearhug on Shawn so he gets smart by going to the eye in a hurry. HHH comes back in for the facebuster and the spinebuster but Hardcore Holly comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was as glorified of a cameo as you could have had from DX but you have three main event stars in a match so it’s not like they were going to be too bad. Holly coming in for the DQ at the end was a lame way to go but it made the most sense given the circumstances. It was as good as it was going to be here and everyone carried their part well enough.

Post match the brawl is on with the security guards helping put Shawn down. HHH comes in with the sledgehammer (including swinging it down onto one of the heads of one of the helmeted guards) and the villains run to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was one of the better ECWs so far and a lot of that is because it wasn’t the villains running roughshod over everyone. At some point you have to have the good guys give you some hope spots and that is what they did here. The show still isn’t great, but after everything they have been doing so far, the last few weeks have been a nice breath of air. Who knew Hardcore Holly might have been the secret all along?

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: July 25, 2006
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Things continue to just kind of exist around here and that’s not the best place to be. I’m not sure how long they can keep going with Big Show defending against various people, but that’s about all they have at the moment. Hopefully the latest guest star works though because that’s all they have. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Mike Knox and Kelly Kelly (officially with two names) are in the ring to start and we get a highlight package of Kelly’s Exposes. Knox says she can never take her clothes off in public again and we see Kelly getting caned in the head last week. That was absolutely Sandman’s fault and Knox left to get her medical held. Now it’s time for some revenge.

Sandman vs. Mike Knox

Joey calls Sandman a blue collar beer drinking character. Knox pounds away to start and hits some right hands on the mat, only to get caught with the White Russian legsweep. The Singapore cane is brought in so Knox hides behind Kelly, only to have Test come in to jump Sandman for the fast DQ.

The TKO leaves Sandman laying and Test leaves with Knox and an annoyed Kelly.

Post break, Test and Knox are rather pleased but Tommy Dreamer jumps them with a trashcan.

Sabu wants an ECW Title match but Paul Heyman won’t let it happen because it’s too dangerous. Actually Sabu being here is too dangerous, so he has the night off. Heyman turns and accuses Little Guido of talking about him, so the security jumps him. Guido is done, so security has him taken to the ring for his match.

CM Punk talks about growing up in Chicago and seeing a lot of people come and go. He debuts next week.

Vampire vs. Little Guido

Ariel is in the unnamed vampires’s (oh sorry: follower of vampirism) corner. The mostly done Guido tries to fight back but gets kicked down, setting up a fireman’s carry Stunner off the ropes. A Razor’s Edge finishes Guido.

Video on Kane, who is challenging Big Show tonight.

Shannon Moore is still coming.

Justin Credible vs. Balls Mahoney

Mahoney pounds away to start and they head outside with the beatdown continuing. Back in and Justin scores with a legdrop into a northern lights suplex for two. We hit the chinclock, followed by the chinlock with a knee in the back. A belly to back suplex gets Mahoney out of trouble and the snap jabs put Credible down. The BORING chants are on, even as Justin misses a baseball slide into the post. The baseball slide only hits post but Justin gets in a shot of his own and heads outside for a chair. Mahoney takes it away and hits Justin for the DQ.

Rating: D-. And that’s why this version of ECW is never going to work. They had a bad match on their own with no extreme rules, and without extreme rules, there is nothing to make these two worth watching. Credible was always bland in the ring and Mahoney only worked in the hardcore stuff. Therefore, giving them six minute and leaving them hanging out there was a horrible plan and it is no surprise that this was a disaster.

Post match Mahoney chairs the referee too.

Big Show tells Paul Heyman to bring on the challengers but Heyman tells him to focus on Kane tonight.

We get a tale of the tape for Kane vs. Big Show and Kane’s hometown is listed as Death Valley. When was he EVER listed as being from anywhere?

Video on Sabu.

Kurt Angle is back next week.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Kane

Show is defending and it’s Extreme Rules. They shove each other around to start and Show tosses him to the floor. Kane manages to post him and pulls out some tables and chairs. Show knocks him down though and we take a break. Back with Show hitting the chop against the ropes and then sending him head first into a chair in the corner.

A Vader Bomb is broken up with a low blow and Kane hits a belly to back superplex for a double knockdown. They slug it out from their knees until Kane sends him into the corner for a running clothesline. Show hits a quick chokeslam for two and heads to the floor to set up a pair of tables.

That takes too long though and Kane chairs him off the apron through the tables. Cue Heyman to talk to Show until Kane throws (the now bleeding) Show back inside. Kane’s top rope clothesline is pulled out of the air for another chokeslam but Kane reverses into a DDT. Heyman pulls the referee out though, allowing Show to chair Kane down. Another chokeslam onto the chair retains the title.

Rating: C+. That’s probably the best of the guest star matches so far and I can’t say I’m surprised. Kane is good with the violence and these two beating on each other is a fine way to spend fifteen minutes. Maybe it’s just due to how lame the rest of the show was, but at least it worked out fine for a TV main event without much drama.

Post match here’s Sabu to dropkick a chair into Show’s face. Heyman looks worried and annoyed to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The main event helped but this show was really lacking badly. You can only get so far when one match on the show matters and even that was only so good. The show just did not work and if they don’t come up with something better than “Big Show vs. this guy”, it’s going to get worse in a hurry. Sabu s pretty much the only ECW original worth a title shot at the moment, so hopefully things can pick up a bit in the next few weeks.

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