Smackdown
Date: June 8, 2007
Location: Amway Arena, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

One Night Stand has come and gone and not a lot has changed around here. Edge beat Batista to retain the World Title again and other than that….yeah that’s about it really. It wasn’t a major show, but now we need to get ready for Vengeance, which will be focused on the titles. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Edge for the Cutting Edge to get things going. Before we get started, Edge calms the people down by saying that he’ll be in action tonight. Well at least he should, as Vickie Guerrero is making a double main event and he better be involved. As for the Cutting Edge though, he has a guest who requested to be on the show: Vince McMahon! Vince is still looking all shaken up so Edge asks how he is feeling. He quotes the 23rd Psalm before changing the ending to say that thou aren’t with me.

Edge brings up the Draft and how Smackdown needs to be shaken up. Vince looks like he is having severe stomach pains as Edge sucks up to him, even handing him the World Title. That’s too far for Vince, who gets up to say that Edge is no better than John Cena or Bobby Lashley. Vengeance will be his, so at Vengeance, Edge is defending the title against Batista. Vince: “Life sucks and then you die.” The match is a Do Or Die match, though we don’t actually get an explanation of what that means. Vince is still rather odd here and it’s kind of awesome, though it still feels like it came up really fast.

Boogeyman vs. Mark Henry

Little Boogeyman is here too. Henry headbutts Boogeyman to start but seems to stagger himself a bit. We’re already in the bearhug on Boogeyman but Henry lets go to beat up Little Boogeyman. The World’s Strongest Slam finishes for Henry in a hurry.

Post match Henry beats up Little Boogeyman, including a World’s Strongest Slam and a splash.

Vickie Guerrero announces our main events: Edge vs. Chris Benoit and Batista vs. MVP.

Post break, Kristal comes in to see Vickie Guerrero to praise her for her work so far. Teddy Long says Vickie wasn’t bad for her first time but here is Vince McMahon to be all nuts and say that Kristal is Long’s problem. She’s half his age! Vince leaves and Teddy isn’t happy.

Jamie Noble/Daivari/Chavo Guerrero vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Brian Kendrick/Paul London

Yang and Noble start us off as the Jung Dragons explode (or at least wrestle). Noble gets armdragged into an armbar before it’s off to London to twist the arm as well. Chavo comes in and gets armdragged as well as they’re certainly moving fast. A monkey flip allows the tag to Yang, who comes in off a high crossbody.

Daivari comes in and stomps Yang down, followed by Noble doing the same. The chinlock goes on for a bit before Chavo grabs a suplex for two. Yang finally kicks Noble away though and the hot tag brings in Kendrick to clean house. Noble gets in a cheap shot though and everything breaks down. Yang hits a springboard dive to the floor, leaving Chavo to get caught in an assisted Sliced Bread for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was the kind of fun six man tag you would expect with the champion taking the pin, as you would probably also expect. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a title as intentionally devalued as the Cruiserweight Title, but it would be nice if WWE did anything to try and make it seem valuable.

Edge vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title and we’re told that Edge vs. Batista is on no matter what happens in the Draft. Feeling out process to start with Benoit working on an aggressive wristlock. An armdrag sends Edge into the corner so Benoit just stares at him. Benoit takes it to the mat again and grabs a chinlock, followed by an armbar. Back up and a hard whip into the corner gets two but Edge is in the ropes before the Crossface can go on. Edge has to fight his way out of a German suplex from the apron and we take a break.

Back with Benoit holding a cravate so Edge rakes the eyes to escape. Benoit sends him outside and hits a baseball slide into the barricade to put Edge right back in trouble. Edge is fine enough to whip him hard into the corner but Benoit headbutts his way out of a superplex attempt.

The Swan Dive misses though and Edge gets two. A big boot connects for the same and Edge works on the arm but Benoit scores with an enziguri. Benoit rolls the snap suplexes and then rolls the German suplexes for a bonus. The Swan Dive connects but Benoit can’t get the Crossface. Edge is back up for the spear but that gets countered into the Crossface, sending Edge to the rope. Back up and now the spear can connect to give Edge the pin.

Rating: B. This felt like a big time main event level match so well done at making something work. Sometimes you need to have two talented people wrestle a long match and that’s what we got here. These two have some great chemistry together and Benoit made Edge work hard to survive.

Ashley is getting her hair and makeup done when Jillian Hall comes up to say Ashley can’t look as good as she does. Jillian says if Ashley had talent, she wouldn’t have to interfere in other people’s matches. Ashley threatens violence if they wind up on the same show (tonight has no consequences apparently). A slap lets Jillian run away, with Ashley in pursuit.

Matt Hardy is signing something for charity when Vince McMahon comes up to ask how he is doing. Hardy talks about how brutal things have been for him lately but here is Ashley to knock Vince’s coffee onto him. This earns Matt a handicap match with Deuce N Domino. Matt leaves to get ready so Vince asks how Ashley is doing. She feels terrible but Vince laughs a lot and suspends her. Ashley breaks down in tears as Vince leaves.

Matt Hardy vs. Deuce N Domino

Non-title. The double stomping is on in a hurry but Matt manages to knock Domino outside. That leaves Deuce to kick Matt in the bad ribs for two and here’s Domino to clothesline Matt down again. Double stomping sends us to a break and we come back with Matt crotching Domino on top. A clothesline gets two on Deuce but Matt has to deal with the returning Domino. Matt can barely get up so Domino kicks him in the face for the pin.

Rating: C-. Matt tried to make this competitive but it was a match that didn’t need to go as long as it did. The Tag Team Champions shouldn’t have that much trouble beating up a banged up Matt Hardy, though it was nice to see him fighting back for a bit. There was a story of Matt fighting his way through the pain but just coming up short, so this could have been a lot worse.

MVP brags about how great he is and how he has everything these people don’t, including a title. He is straight up ballin and he’ll prove it to Batista tonight.

Commentary recaps Vince McMahon’s insanity.

MVP vs. Batista

Non-title. They start slowly with MVP getting in a quick shot and posing, earning himself a drive into the corner. MVP starts kicking at the leg and gets knocked down again as Batista is right back with a clothesline. We take a break and come back with MVP getting whipped hard into the corner. A suplex gives Batista two but he misses a charge in the corner so MVP can kick away.

MVP’s big running kick sends Batista outside and it’s a bunch of right hands back inside. The catapult sends Batista throat first into the bottom rope for two and there’s another kick to the head to send him outside. Back in again and MVP grabs a chinlock with a knee in the back, followed by some knees to the face. Somehow that’s enough to make Batista fight back, including the running clotheslines in the corner. The swinging Boss Man Slam connects but here is Edge to jump Batista for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was a bit of a surprise as they got some time to set up a good match. I was worried that they were going to have MVP take the pin here so well done on going with the good ending. Edge vs. Batista doesn’t quite need to go to a third match but that’s about all they can do at this point. Pretty good main event here, mainly due to not making any dumb decisions.

Post match Batista goes after Edge, who runs from the threat of a Batista Bomb to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Another fairly strong show here, though your taste in the latest Vince stuff may vary. Vince being so out of it after losing the ECW World Title is a way they can go, but it still feels really rushed. That being said, crazy Vince walking around tormenting people is something that can work out well and it’s adding some spice to what has otherwise been a pretty dull start to the summer.

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Smackdown
Date: May 11, 2007
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s a big show this time around with the Undertaker defending the World Title against Batista inside a cage. That alone should be enough to carry the show and….well that’s about what it’s going to do as that’s the only major thing set for the show. Unless you could spoilers that is, as WWE has already said what happens this time. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at Undertaker vs. Batista and how we got to the cage match. I have a feeling we’re getting a bunch of history tonight.

Opening sequence.

The cage is already around the ring.

Chris Benoit/Matt Hardy vs. Finlay/MVP

They either edited the heck out of something or the cage had a rocket attached to it, as there is no way they raised that thing up so fast. Benoit and Finlay lock up to push each other around the ring to start. It’s already off to MVP to shoulder Benoit down but he has to escape an early Crossface attempt. Matt comes in to drop an elbow and it’s already back to Benoit to stomp away in the corner. Finlay has to break up the cover off a suplex so Matt comes back in for a neckbreaker. Benoit misses a baseball slide to Finlay but clotheslines him down instead. Cue Hornswoggle to….do nothing as we take a break.

Back with Hardy bulldogging Finlay for two and cranking on a headlock. It’s back to MVP to stomp away but Hardy suplexes him for two, with Finlay having to make another save. Matt elbows MVP off the top and actually hits a moonsault, only to bang up his knee in the process. MVP is smart enough to go right after the knee before handing it off to Finlay for a half crab.

That’s broken up but MVP is right there to cut him off again. That lasts all of two seconds though before it’s the hot tag to bring in Benoit to clean house. The rolling German suplexes get two but the Swan Dive misses. MVP comes in, walks into a dragon screw legwhip, and gets jackknife covered to give Benoit the fast pin.

Rating: C+. This was good enough, though MVP losing AGAIN is getting old. It’s ok to let him steal a pin in a tag match but he has to lose there too. It’s one thing to get pinned by Chris Benoit but losing to him over and over takes away a lot from MVP. Not a bad tag match though, which is one thing you can almost always depend on: throwing talented wrestlers out there and giving them time to do something.

Here’s another video on Batista vs. Undertaker.

Next week: Ozzy Osbourne performs the Judgment Day theme song.

Jillian Hall vs. Michelle McCool

Jillian sings a slowed down version of her theme song until Michelle’s entrance cuts her off. Michelle hammers away to start and it’s a catfight with more punching than usual. The reverse chinlock sends Jillian over to the ropes but she is right back with a cartwheel into an elbow. The chinlock has McCool in trouble but she’s back up with an elbow to the face. A jackknife rollup gives McCool two and a belly to belly gets the same. Jillian gets in some elbows in the corner but charges into a backbreaker to give Michelle the pin.

Rating: D+. No it wasn’t good, but you can tell that they are trying to have a good match. There is a world of difference than this and some of the nonsense that you would see out of the Divas division. They need a lot more time and polish, but you can see the effort and some of the basics in there. In other words, Finlay continues to be a wizard with this stuff.

Krystal is rubbing Teddy Long’s shoulders and asks if he has found an assistant yet. He hasn’t found anyone appropriate yet but she has an idea. We’ll have to hear about that later though as two hillbillies from West Virginia come in. They’re here to fight but Teddy says if they can get to Baltimore next week, they can have a match. Long mentions their name as the Dalton Boys as they leave. Krystal goes back to shoulder rubbing and suggests Vickie Guerrero as the assistant. Teddy is skeptical about hiring a Guerrero but Krystal talks him into letting her have an interview next week. That’s good enough for Krystal.

More on Undertaker vs. Batista.

Raw Rebound.

Ashley joins us from Stamford and wants to get back to Smackdown. If nothing else, she wants to get her hands on Jillian and to see Paul London and Brian Kendrick get their Tag Team Titles back.

Domino vs. Paul London

I know I make fun of these teams having a bunch of singles matches but COME ON ALREADY. Deuce, Cherry and Brian Kendrick are at ringside too. London dodges a double leg dive to start but gets shoved away. The referee breaks that up so Domino kicks him in the ribs, only to get dropkicked down.

London scores with a moonsault to the floor (which he missed to cost his team the titles a few weeks ago), only to get snapmared back inside. Domino grabs a cobra clutch but London is back up with a cradle for two. A headscissors into a basement dropkick connects and a snap spinwheel kick drops Domino again. Deuce tries to offer a distraction so London hits the dropsault onto Domino for the pin.

Rating: C. Not too bad here, but e pluribus gads I’m sick of seeing this match. It’s been done to death at this point and I don’t see any reason to want to watch it again. Hopefully we get to the title rematch so Deuce N Domino can retain and move on to ANYTHING else. These teams have fine matches, but the interest has been depleted after seeing some combination of it so many times.

Another Undertaker vs. Batista video.

Snitsky video.

Kane vs. Dave Taylor

Boogeyman, Little Boogeyman and William Regal are here too. Kane appears to be a mixture of happy and confused by the Boogeymen. They start fast with Kane hitting a hard slam as commentary is busy freaking out about the people at ringside. Taylor gets a boot up in the corner and hammers away until Kane kicks him down. Regal trips Kane and feigns innocence in a way that feels so appropriate for him. Kane is back up with the sidewalk slam and the top rope clothesline as Boogeyman and Regal get in a fight on the floor. The chokeslam finishes Taylor.

Rating: C-. About what you would expect here and that was fine enough. Kane and Boogeyman are growing on me as the freaky tag team as it’s a bit of a different direction for both of them. If nothing else, seeing Regal and Taylor being disturbed by what they’re looking at every week has been great. Not a good match, but another part of an entertaining story.

Undertaker beat Batista at Wrestlemania.

The Condemned.

Undertaker and Batista went to a draw in a Last Man Standing match at Backlash.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is defending in a cage with pinfall, submission or escape to win. Batista has a bad leg and Undertaker has a bad arm to slow both of them down a bit. They go to the slugout to start until Undertaker kicks him in the face. A clothesline gives Batista two but a shot to the bad leg breaks up the Batista Bomb. Undertaker gets knocked down and it’s a top rope shoulder to give Batista two.

We take a break and come back with Batista breaking up an escape attempt but getting hit in the face for his efforts. Batista takes him down and hammers away before a low blow drops Undertaker again. The shoulders and clothesline in the corner let Batista climb but Undertaker hits him in the leg for a crotching. The running big boot knocks Batista into the cage but Batista kicks him down as well as we take a break.

Back again with Batista blasting him with a clothesline for two. Undertaker hits some clotheslines of his own and it’s Snake Eyes into the big boot. There’s the chokeslam for a close two but Batista sends him into the cage. We take another break and come back with the busted open Undertaker walking into a spinebuster for two.

Batista, apparently having never watched an Undertaker match, hammers away in the corner and gets Last Rided for two. Undertaker can’t quite get out of the door so they both go up top for a slugout. Batista knocks him down and climbs up but Undertaker is right there to meet him. They both climb down and drop to the floor….at the same time.

Rating: B. This was a heck of a fight and as usual between these two, it felt like a war with the question being who could survive, let alone win. These two have some great chemistry together and it was on display again here. They feel like each others’ equals and given that they have had more draws than decisive wins in their rivalry, it feels that way in the ring too.

The referees go over to the monitors to look and the feet hit the ground at the same time so the match is officially a draw, with the Undertaker retaining the title. The cage is raised…and here is Mark Henry to jump Undertaker. Henry sends him into the post and crushes him with the splash inside. That’s quite the bad situation for Undertaker and now it’s about to get worse.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Undertaker

Edge is challenging via Money in the Bank cash in. The bell rings and Edge covers for two but Undertaker can’t sit up. He pulls himself up on the ropes and it’s the spear to give Edge the pin and the title.

Post match Edge hits him with the briefcase and poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The cage match alone is worth the watch and the rest of the show continues its hot streak. That’s going to be it for the Undertaker for a long time though as the arm injury was a torn bicep, putting him out of action for several months. That leaves Batista to carry the show again, and now he’ll be able to feud with Edge for the time being. Solid show here, but it feels like the start of a new era, which might not be so great.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: April 13, 2007
Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re on the way to whatever the next Smackdown pay per view is and Batista wants his rematch with Undertaker for the World Title. That’s fine with Undertaker, but he isn’t cool with King Booker jumping him to end last week’s show. It sounds like something he is going to deal with sooner than later and that isn’t likely to go well for Booker. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Teddy Long is in the ring to get things going. He isn’t wasting time tonight and announces Batista vs. Undertaker for the Smackdown World Title at Backlash in a Last Man Standing match. That’s a big upgrade but a violent match like that makes sense for guys who are going to beat on each other than hard.

Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Mr. Kennedy

Fallout from Kennedy attacking Hornswoggle at Wrestlemania. That being said, there is no Hornswoggle to start, meaning this isn’t much of a handicap match. Before the match, Kennedy gets quite the positive reception and tells Finlay that they don’t have to do this. Things got out of hand in Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania and tension was high.

Kennedy apologizes but Finlay says he has never met anyone who whimpers and grovels like Kennedy does. He’ll give Kennedy the benefit of the doubt though so apology accepted. Just don’t touch Hornswoggle again. Hold on though as that isn’t cool with Teddy Long, who wants these two to wrestle tonight. They can do it as a team….against Batista and Undertaker. Anger ensues, possibly because Hornswoggle never appeared.

Michelle McCool is in the back and hears a suspicious sound (from like five rooms away). It’s Jillian Hall attacking Ashley because she wants to be in the Timbaland video instead of her. Michelle chases Jillian off as Paul London and Brian Kendrick come in too late.

Tag Team Titles: Deuce N Domino vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Deuce N Domino, with Cherry are challenging. London’s waistlock doesn’t get very far on Deuce but a small package gets two. London kicks at Deuce’s leg to get on his nerves so Domino comes in. Kendrick joins him for an armdrag and then another one into an armbar. It’s back to London and the champs clear the ring in a hurry, setting up London’s big dive onto Domino.

We take a break and come back with Kendrick armbarring Deuce but a distraction lets Domino get in a cheap shot. A suplex gives Domino two and it’s off to the chinlock. Back up and some choking on the ropes ensues, as the camera angles show you how small the building really is. The slow beating continues until Kendrick rolls away and dives over to London for the hot tag. House is cleaned in a hurry, including a top rope double stomp to the back for two on Domino. Deuce comes back in and sends Kendrick outside, setting up Crack Em In Da Mouth…but the referee DQ’s them for being in the ring too long.

Rating: C+. These teams have chemistry but I’m sick of seeing them fight. Either change the titles already or move on to something else because this is getting really repetitive. The ending leaves the door open for another rematch and I’m sure we’ll get that sooner than later, but they need to get somewhere with this already.

Teddy Long tells Kristal about how awesome next week’s 400th show will be in Milan, Italy. Deuce N Domino and Cherry come in and aren’t happy with the result. They get tossed out anyway.

The Condemned.

MVP vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title. MVP drives Benoit into the corner to start to show off a bit of power. An armdrag sends MVP into another corner though and it’s time for a standoff. That’s fine with Benoit, who takes him to the mat for an armbar without much trouble. The threat of the Crossface sends MVP bailing to the floor but he’s right back in with some forearms to the face. A running boot in the corner gives MVP two but Benoit snaps off a suplex.

Benoit hits a backbreaker and kicks away but MVP gets in a shot of his own to take back over. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Benoit gets to the apron and teases the German suplex to the floor. That’s broken up as expected and MVP posts him to send us to a break. Back with Benoit fighting out of another chinlock but charging into a belly to belly. A hard whip sends Benoit into the corner and MVP starts in on Benoit’s banged up arm.

Three straight elbows give MVP two but a snap northern lights suplex gives Benoit the same. The Crossface goes on, with MVP getting his foot on the ropes in a hurry. Some rolling German suplexes have MVP in trouble but he avoids the Swan Dive. MVP hammers away and kicks Benoit in the head but can’t German suplex him to the floor. Instead Benoit tries a rollup but MVP grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: C+. These guys work well together and the cheating pin moves MVP back into the title match while also protecting Benoit. I’m sure they’ll be set up for Backlash as a result and that should be another good one. MVP has been ready to win the title for a long time now so Benoit dropping it is the right move in the near future.

Post break, MVP says he told us so and promises to win the title.

We recap King Booker attacking Undertaker last week and being slaughtered. He has suffered neck, knee and elbow injuries, meaning he’s out of action indefinitely. That’s a heck of at Tombstone to injure his knee.

Raw Rebound.

Kane vs. Daivari

Kane unloads on him to start like he’s Kane unloading on Daivari, including a hard shot to the face in the corner. There’s the side slam into the top rope clothesline, followed by Daivari’s ribs being bent around the post. The chokeslam finishes Daivari in a hurry.

Post match here are William Regal and Dave Taylor to go after Kane but they can’t even get him off his feet. Eventually they give up and run off.

Mark Henry is coming back.

Undertaker/Batista vs. Mr. Kennedy/Finlay

Finlay ducks away from Undertaker to start and hands it off to Kennedy, who gets taken into the corner for the pummeling. Undertaker charges into a boot though and the villains take over as Batista looks like he’s trying to remember where he parked. That’s broken up and Undertaker launches Kennedy into the corner to start throwing more right hands. Snake Eyes has Finlay in trouble but Batista tags himself in, allowing Kennedy to jump Undertaker. Batista tosses Finlay and spinebusters Kennedy but this time it’s Undertaker tagging himself in.

We take a break and come back with Undertaker rather forcibly tagging Batista. Kennedy gets stomped down and this time it’s Batista slapping Undertaker in the chest for the next tag. A Finlay distraction breaks up Old School but Undertaker shrugs off anything Kennedy throws at him. Batista comes back in for two off a suplex with Finlay making the save. Finlay comes in and is thrown right back into the corner for some right hands to the face.

There’s a heck of a clothesline to give Batista two and it’s back to Undertaker to keep pounding. This has been almost completely one sided so far as Undertaker drops the apron leg to Finlay. Old School is broken up by another blind tag and that’s not cool with Undertaker. The distraction lets Finlay jump Batista, with Undertaker just glaring instead of helping. Kennedy comes back in to start on Batista’s knee and a chop block cuts him down again. Finlay grabs the leg part of an STF and Kennedy sits down on the bad leg.

A Shillelagh shot to the leg makes it worse and Kennedy drives Batista’s back into the apron. The Indian Deathlock doesn’t work for Kennedy so he goes with some right hands to the face instead. It’s back to Finlay to pull on the leg a bit more, including a half crab. That’s finally enough to turn Undertaker into an unenthusiastic cheerleader, which seems to work as Batista is back with a spinebuster. Undertaker comes back in to clean house but Batista tags himself in again. As Undertaker beats on Finlay on the floor, the Batista Bomb finishes Kennedy.

Rating: B-. This was a different kind of match as it was much more about the storytelling than the action itself. Undertaker and Batista toyed with the two of them here and it was an effective way to build things up. They don’t like each other but they had to work together here. Granted it wasn’t the best teamwork, but the story was advanced and that’s what they were shooting for here. Nicely done, in a different way.

The staredown and title gesturing finishes the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I’m not sure what to think of this show but I liked enough of it. Backlash is already starting to take shape, though you can tell that they’re still in a bit of the post Wrestlemania zone. That can fade away even more next week, but for now it is just a good show instead of anything great. WWE continues to be on a roll though, and that is getting more impressive the further they are removed from Wrestlemania.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: April 6, 2007
Location: Allen County War Memorial, Fort Wayne, Indiana
Attendance: 4,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We are done with Wrestlemania and that means it is time to back in the glory of a pretty awesome show. I’m not sure what that is going to entail, but this time around we should be in for at least an appearance from Undertaker, who won the Smackdown World Title on Sunday. Let’s get to it.

Here is Wrestlemania if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Mr. Money in the Bank/Kennedy to get things going. Kennedy brags about the briefcase’s power and promises that the Kennedy Era will have begun. Begun.

Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Kennedy

They fight over a lockup to start and go up against the ropes with neither being able to get very far. Jeff shoulders him down and grabs an armdrag into an armbar. Kennedy gets sent outside for the slingshot dropkick through the ropes into the big dive. We take a break and come back with Jeff hitting the sitout gordbuster.

The Swanton is broken up though and Kennedy bends him around the post to work on the ribs, setting up a seated abdominal stretch. Back up and Kennedy knees him in the ribs to cut off a comeback attempt and there’s a backbreaker to make it worse. The regular abdominal stretch goes on but Hardy hiptosses his way to freedom. Whisper in the Wind drops Kennedy again but a REALLY far Swanton only hits mat. The DDT finishes Hardy, which Cole calls cashing in on victory. It’s going to be a long contract holding time.

Rating: C. Pretty standard match here with Kennedy getting a nice win as he gets ready to move forward with the briefcase. That’s the right thing for him to do and the kind of win that he needs. Kennedy has cheated to beat a bunch of top names, but he needs to prove that he can get some clean pins like this one.

Post match, Hornswoggle charges at Kennedy but it’s Finlay jumping Kennedy from behind and promising violence if Kennedy ever hurts Hornswoggle again.

Wrestlemania got a lot of press.

Krystal is in Teddy Long’s office and they had a great time at Wrestlemania, plus AFTER the show. Teddy gets a card to open later but Mr. Kennedy comes in to say he wants him in the ring. After some clarification, Teddy figures out that he means Hornswoggle and the match is on for next week. Oh and we’ll make it a handicap match with Finlay involved too. Kennedy leaves upset and Long opens the card, which he says is amazing.

Ashley runs into Timbaland (music producer) and praises his music. Jillian Hall comes in to audition for him and Ashley/Timbaland aren’t impressed.

Wrestlemania music video.

Chris Benoit vs. The Miz

Non-title and Miz is looking fiery here. They fight over a lockup to start and Miz grabs a headlock. You don’t do that to Benoit, who snaps off a belly to back suplex for the break. A backdrop has Miz in more trouble and a snap suplex gives Benoit two. The chops put Miz into the corner and Benoit sends him out to the apron. That means a heck of a chop to stop him cold but Miz manages to snap the throat across the top rope.

Miz hammers and stomps away and the cravate puts Benoit in more trouble. Benoit can’t even roll out of it so Miz knocks him into the corner for the running clothesline. Some elbows to the head give Miz two and it’s off to another chinlock. That’s broken up as well and Benoit starts striking away to take over.

The release German suplex sends Miz flying so Benoit loads up the Swanton, only to have MVP pull Miz away at the last second. It might not sound like much, but factor in that Miz was probably 75% of the way across the ring and Benoit would have connected. That’s one of the longest top rope jumps I’ve ever seen and the crash landing lets Miz steal the pin. JBL sounding crushed at the fact that Miz just beat Benoit is great.

Rating: C-. Not the most thrilling match here but good night that jump was a sight to behold. You don’t see someone get that kind of distance most of the time and unfortunately it didn’t get the credit it deserved. MVP vs. Benoit continues and odds are we’ll get a rematch at Backlash, or whatever the next Smackdown pay per view is. Works for me, as long as MVP keeps facing international champions.

We look at Matt Hardy going after Sharmell in Money in the Bank to distract King Booker. JBL: “He made the wrong choice.”

Booker and Sharmell aren’t happy and swear revenge.

King Booker vs. Matt Hardy

Queen Sharmell is here with Booker. Matt punches him into the corner to start, setting up the clothesline in to the bulldog for two. Booker is back up with a kick to the face and Sharmell adds some choking from the floor. A spinebuster plants Matt, who is bleeding from the mouth, for no cover. Instead it’s a quickly broken chinlock, followed by an elbow to the face.

Matt is right back up with a neckbreaker and Matt’s own elbow gets two. Booker isn’t having any of that and kicks Matt in the face for two more. We hit the abdominal stretch and Booker throws in some elbows to the ribs. That’s shifted into an armbar but Matt fights up again and hits the Side Effect. Matt’s rollup gets two but Booker superkicks him hard. Back up and Booker tries a backslide, only to have Hardy grab a small package for the quick pin.

Rating: C. I don’t think there is any surprise tot he fact that these two could have a fine enough match if they were given time. The amount of holds wasn’t quite interesting but at least they got to do a little bit here and tie it back in to what happened at Wrestlemania. Sharmell seems to be getting some more focus though and that might not be the most thrilling concept.

Post match Sharmell yells about Matt violating her at Wrestlemania and then Booker LOSES. Sharmell walks out on him, leaving Booker upset.

Kane vs. Dave Taylor

William Regal is here too and jumps Kane before the match. Kane beats both of them up without much trouble and leaves them laying. No match.

Booker apologizes to Sharmell and things seem to be better. Then she slaps him.

Mark Henry is coming back.

Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Chavo Guerrero/Gregory Helms

We take a break and come back with Helms’ swinging Rock Bottom backbreaker getting two on Kendrick. The alternating beating in the corner is on, setting up Chavo’s front facelock. That doesn’t last long though as the hot tag brings in London to clean house in a hurry. A Nightmare on Helm Street gives Helms two as everything breaks down. Chavo’s superplex is broken up though and he gets sent outside. A Sliced Bread/sitout powerbomb combination gives Kendrick the pin.

Rating: C+. As JBL keeps saying, London and Kendrick are fun to watch. That’s exactly the case and it’s hard not to like them. To have held the titles this long and still be so entertaining is quite the trick that they have pulled off. It is probably time to drop the titles though, and it actually makes me a bit sad because these guys really are that good.

The Condemned had a big premiere in Detroit.

Booker is upset about Sharmell.

Hall of Fame video.

We’ve got druids so I think you know what that means. Here’s the Undertaker, fresh off winning the Smackdown World Title at Wrestlemania. Before he can say anything though, cue Batista, who marches straight down to the ring. Batista says congratulations and he wants his rematch. Undertaker nods and Batista leaves but here is King Booker to jump Undertaker from behind. That doesn’t go well for Booker, as the Tombstone onto the announcers’ table leaves him laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. As has been the case with almost everything else this week, this was more about taking a breather rather than doing anything meaningful. Booker going after Undertaker and the rematch being set up are fine, but this was a show that didn’t really do much as far as setting up things. For the first show after the biggest night of the year, that is completely fine.

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Smackdown
Date: March 30, 2007
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final (of three) go home shows for Wrestlemania and I wouldn’t bet on seeing much in the way of important action here. That is perfectly fine in this case and they would be insane to try anything too complicated. We’re sure to get a lot of talking about Wrestlemania though and that should work out well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Edge for a match with Matt Hardy, but first he wants to talk about Money in the Bank. Edge knows what it means to be in a match like this and what it can mean. He has cashed the briefcase in before and has won more ladder matches than everyone else in the match combined, so he’ll be winning again.

Edge vs. Matt Hardy

Actually hang on as Edge isn’t wrestling tonight, but he has a replacement.

Great Khali vs. Matt Hardy

Edge is at ringside as Matt hammers away to no avail to start. Khali kicks him down in the corner and the chokeslam is loaded up….but here is Kane. Well at least his pyro, so Khali goes up the ramp and Kane appears on screen. Kane holds up the hook and says two more days….and I guess the match just ends.

Teddy Long is making some dinner reservations when Krystal comes in. He has made dinner reservations for them, plus some dancing. Krystal shows off her ring gear and kisses him on the cheek before leaving. Long is rather pleased.

Finlay vs. Mr. Kennedy

There is a ladder at ringside and Kennedy points out the briefcase above the ring. They go with the hard lockup to start and fall out to the floor with neither being able to get an advantage. Back in and Finlay works on the hammerlock so Kennedy elbows his way to freedom. Kennedy nails a running boot in the corner for two but Finlay catches him trying to take off the turnbuckle pad. It’s too early to send Kennedy into the buckle though, as he reverses into a whip into said buckle.

The Regal Roll gives Kennedy two so it’s time for a ladder, which goes rather badly. Finlay goes shoulder first into the post and Kennedy rolls him up for two. Since pulling out a ladder didn’t work, Kennedy goes with the big ladder already set up at ringside. For some reason Kennedy throws it at Finlay, who ducks and hits a clothesline. Cue Hornswoggle with a two foot stepladder to Kenton Bomb Kennedy. Finlay grabs the Celtic Cross for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was a bit of a messy match as they didn’t exactly have chemistry. Heel vs. heel is always a bit weird and I wasn’t exactly getting into it. The match certainly wasn’t bad or anything, but I was more waiting on it to finish up than getting into it, which is never a good sign.

We look at Vince McMahon pinning Bobby Lashley, albeit with some help, on Raw.

Maryse welcomes us back from commercial. Her robe opening up is just an accident of course.

MVP vs. Vito Batomango

Batomango’s Ethiopian Heavyweight Title isn’t on the line. You might remember him from the earlier days of TNA as D-Ray 3000. MVP stomps him down and hits the running big boot in the corner. Some knees to the ribs set up some Chris Benoit style rolling German suplexes. The Playmaker finishes for MVP in a total squash. The gimmick is kind of funny actually.

Post match MVP says he has made 5 pay per view appearances. At Wrestlemania, he is facing the man who is “4 real” and the referee will count 3. In 2 days, there is 1 United States Champion. That wasn’t bad.

We look at Batista and Undertaker erupting last week.

Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

They fight over a lockup to start until Jeff grabs a hammerlock. Orton fights up but gets caught in an armbar to mix up the cranking a bit. A rollup gives Jeff two and a sitout gordbuster drops Orton onto his head for the same. Jeff tries to jump over him in the corner but gets blasted with a clothesline to the floor. We take a break and come back with Orton grinding away on a chinlock.

Hardy fights up but walks into the backbreaker for two. The Garvin Stomp keeps Hardy in trouble and the dropkick sets up the choking on the ropes. Another chinlock has Hardy in trouble but he fights up again, this time with a Sling Blade. The slingshot dropkick in the corner gets two but Orton rolls away before the Swanton can launch. Cue Edge to go after Hardy so Orton yells at him, allowing Hardy to hook a sunset flip for the pin.

Rating: C+. This got some time and Hardy getting the pin on Orton isn’t the biggest upset in the world. The good thing here was keeping up Edge vs. Orton, which has potential to be a heck of an upper midcard feud if that is the way they go. It’s nice to have something other than building momentum for the ladder match and it has helped a lot over the last few weeks.

We look back at Undertaker and Batista fighting last week.

We look at Shawn Michaels superkicking John Cena on Raw.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Melina/Victoria/Jillian Hall/Michelle McCool/Krystal vs. Ashley/Torrie Wilson/Candice Michelle/Maria/Mickie James

Mickie snapmares Victoria down into a basement dropkick to start but a regular dropkick misses. Michelle comes in and starts kicking away, followed by the same from Melina. Jillian gets in the hair toss and a slam, meaning it’s time to pose. Victoria’s elbow misses though and it’s off to Candice for a slam of her own, plus the Go Daddy dance. Maria gets in the Bronco Buster on Victoria and Torrie throws in a Stink Face. It’s off to Ashley for the real work though and house is cleaned in a hurry. Melina runs away from a fight and Ashley reverses Jillian’s powerbomb into a hurricanrana for the pin.

Rating: D. I think you got the idea here and they weren’t exactly being subtle about everything they were doing. The match wasn’t any good because most of them aren’t really wrestlers, but Ashley looked a bit more competent so maybe there has been some coaching between her recent mess and this one.

King Booker vs. CM Punk

Booker has Queen Sharmell with him and backs Punk into the corner. Some right hands rock Punk but he snapmares Booker into a basement dropkick to the back of the head. Back up and Booker kicks him in the face, setting up the knees to the face to make it even worse. A pull of the hair cuts Punk off again and Booker elbows him in the face for two. The seated armbar doesn’t last long as Punk is back up with even more kicks to the head. An enziguri gets two but Booker takes him right back down for another chinlock. That’s too far for Punk, who pops up into a bridging rollup for the pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty dull match here, but it isn’t a surprise that they would want to keep things slow with two days to go before Wrestlemania. Just going six and a half minutes was surprising enough, but you can only get so far with a bunch of chinlocks and armbars. It’s nice to see Punk get a bigger win for once though.

We look at Shawn Michaels finally turning on John Cena on Raw.

Shawn Michaels is All Grown Up.

Video of the Wrestlemania press conference, where Donald Trump slapped Vince McMahon.

JBL gets in the ring for the big interview between Batista and Undertaker….but gets Steve Austin instead. Austin doesn’t waste time and Stuns JBL, allowing beer to be consumed.

Post break, Teddy Long brings out Batista and Undertaker for the real interview. Security keeps them apart, with Teddy saying this is Smackdown and not Wrestlemania. Batista says he doesn’t have as much respect for Undertaker, who has no response. Teddy asks what it is going to take to beat Undertaker. Batista: “48 hours.” The fight is on with security getting taken out. The spinebuster plants Undertaker, who sits up as Batista leaves. More staring and shouting ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. They didn’t screw up, the ending was good, and we even got a long match. This was a fine go home show and that’s all it needed to be as they are on a roll heading into Detroit. I want to see the show as they have set everything up as well as possible. Good stuff here, which doesn’t surprise me at all after what they have done over the last month and a half or so.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 26, 2007
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 15,146
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania and that means we are not likely to see a lot of wrestling this time around. Instead, expect a heck of a lot of talking, plus some rather short matches to get everyone to Detroit as safely as possible. That being said, we have a heck of a double main event with Bobby Lashley vs. Vince McMahon and a No Way Out main event with Shawn Michaels/John Cena vs. Batista/Undertaker. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Coach in the ring to announce that Vince McMahon vs. Bobby Lashley is now No DQ, but any interference will result in a fine and suspension. Cue Steve Austin to another thunderous pop and he has a story to tell Coach. He was sitting down at the ranch and got a bunch of gifts, in the form of a new four wheeler, a rifle, a hunting knife and more. Every gift that he got was from Donald Trump and he thinks that Trump is trying to buy him off.

Coach thinks so to but Vince would never…..and Austin cuts him off, saying that he told the delivery driver to take them all back. It turns out that they came from Stamford, Connecticut and the offices of Vincent Kennedy McMahon. Does Vince think Austin is stupid enough to think that Trump is buying him off? Coach says no one thinks he is stupid and eventually admits that he was the one who sent the gifts.

Austin isn’t pleased but explains that he will beat up both Lashley and Umaga if they don’t listen to him at Wrestlemania. Coach understands the idea, but he does not understand why Vince and Trump are worried about being bald. Austin and Coach show that bald is beautiful….and there’s the Stunner. Beer is consumed and poured onto Coach.

Post break, Austin leaves in his truck but gets cut off by Vince McMahon’s limo. Vince comes out of the sun roof to yell but sees Austin, who flips him off for old times’ sake. With Austin gone, Vince gets out, pulls the driver out, beats him up, and fires him.

Jillian Hall/Victoria/Melina vs. Torrie Wilson/Ashley/Candice Michelle

Ashley rolls Melina up for an early near fall and it’s off to Candice to spinwheel kick Victoria. The Go Daddy dance takes too long and Victoria kicks Candice down. The Tree of Woe sets up a running Bronco Buster to the upside down Candice and Jillian comes in for the assortment of hair pulling. Candice avoids a flipping legdrop and crawls over (nearly crawling out of her shorts on the way there) for the hot tag to Ashley. Everything breaks down with Ashley snapping off some headscissors. The other four brawl, leaving Ashley to victory roll Hall for the pin.

Rating: D. I think you can figure out the reason behind this one and seeing Ashley’s house cleaning at the end was not exactly appealing. It isn’t Ashley’s fault that she can’t learn how to be a wrestler in the span of a few months. The title match isn’t going to be about the technical side and that wasn’t the case here either. Not good wrestling, but that wasn’t what this was for in the first place.

Video on Bobby Lashley.

CM Punk vs. Kenny Dykstra

Punk is the hometown boy and Dykstra jumps him on the way in. Dykstra hammers away and kicks Punk off the top before he has the chance to doing anything. The chinlock doesn’t last long but a jumping back elbow cuts Punk down again. Some clotheslines give Dykstra two and we hit another chinlock. Back up again and Punk knees his way out of a front facelock, setting up the springboard clothesline. More knees, including one in the corner, sets up the bulldog for two. The still yet to be named Go To Sleep finishes Dykstra.

Rating: C-. This was a nice way to have Punk get a come from behind win in his hometown while also building him up a bit for Wrestlemania. It isn’t hard to figure this one out and they did it well enough. They didn’t do anything flashy here as it was just a nice win with a guy beating someone beneath him. Don’t make this more complicated than it needs to be.

Post match Edge pops up on screen to say Punk isn’t winning at Wrestlemania. Don’t worry though, because Punk is going to get his chance to respond in the first ever eight man edition of the Cutting Edge.

Clip of Bobby Lashley crashing through the cage wall to get to Umaga on ECW. That’s still great.

All of the Money in the Bank participants are in the ring as Edge comes out for the big interview. Edge brags about his success in ladder matches, which includes winning more ladder matches than everyone in here combined. Throw in that he has never lost at Wrestlemania and why should anyone else have a chance? How is Matt Hardy even on Wrestlemania?

Matt promises to be in Edge’s face but makes the mistake of mentioning Lita and gets cut off. King Booker talks about all of his success but mentions the word peasants, which is too far for Finlay. He is sick of all this nonsense because everyone else sounds like a bunch of old women. Finlay to Edge: “You didn’t like that chisel chin?” Randy Orton tells Finlay to not hurt Edge’s feelings because Edge needs an excuse to bail out of this match like he has done for the last month.

Mr. Kennedy cuts them off (big reaction) but Edge cuts that off as well and mocks Jeff Hardy’s pose. Jeff says this is going to be his first Wrestlemania in five years so he plans to steal the show. He’ll go through his own brother if it means winning Money in the Bank. The CM PUNK chants cut everyone off so Edge asks him about being straightedge.

Edge: “Well my addictions are sex, violence and championship gold around my waste.” Punk says Edge seems to be addicted to running his mouth and the fight is on. Edge slips out while everyone else fights, with the Hardys and Punk standing tall….until they realize Edge is on the ramp. The chase is on and we take a break.

John Cena explains how we are going to have Playboy bunnies, vampires, ladders, the Queen of Soul and MICHAEL COLE at Wrestlemania. Cena: “WHO KEEPS INVITING MICHAEL COLE???” We’re going to have a legend killer, the Deadman and a bald billionaire, but after all that, there will be John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels.

People will talk about it for years, even Maria when her grandkids are there and certain parts of her are hanging down to her knees. Maria isn’t convinced, but Cena gets serious and talks about how he is going to carve his name into the history books. One man will be left standing and he will proudly say THE CHAMP IS HERE. This was Cena’s hard sell at the end and it worked as always.

We look at Vince McMahon not being able to bribe Bobby Lashley. Then Lashley threatened violence against the boss.

Vince McMahon vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title and No DQ, though interference is not allowed. Before the match, Vince says that he isn’t going to embarrass him with his physical dominance, because he’ll just pin Lashley instead. NOW you can ring the bell….and Vince drops to the floor. Cue Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch to go after Lashley, with limited success.

Now it’s Chris Masters coming in but he can’t get the Masterlock. John Morrison comes in and goes after Lashley, earning himself a running powerslam. Umaga and Armando Alejandro Estrada come in as well and the real fight is on. The numbers finally take Lashley down (Vince’s low blow helped) and Umaga’s pop up Samoan Drop lets Vince get the pin.

Post match the big beatdown is on, including the running hip attack in the corner and the Samoan Spike. That means Vince can get another pin to really prove himself, followed by one more Samoan Spike.

During the break, Vince promises to win on Sunday and then shave Donald Trump’s head. Cue Eugene in a Trump outfit, complete with wig, but Vince rips the wig off and leaves.

Randy Orton/Mr. Kennedy vs. Hardys

You would think this kind of a reunion would be built up a bit more. Orton jogs out to the stage for a weird visual. Matt headlocks Orton to start and hits a quick middle rope elbow to the back of the head for one. Jeff comes in but gets knocked into the corner by Kennedy so the stomping can begin. An anklescissors gets Jeff out of the corner but Kennedy sends him hard out to the floor.

Orton drops him onto the announcers’ table and we hit the chinlock back inside. Kennedy comes back in but his belly to back superplex is broken up, allowing Jeff to hit the Whisper in the Wind. The hot tag brings in Matt to clean house but he takes too long setting up the Twist of Fate on Orton. Kennedy makes the save but gets taken to the floor by Jeff. That’s fine with Orton, who grabs the RKO for the pin on Matt.

Rating: C-. This was the momentum building match, but it’s a little hard to buy that the Hardys are going to lose clean to a makeshift team in less than five minutes. I know the match doesn’t mean a thing going forward, but the Hardys losing to Orton and Kennedy? It isn’t a huge stretch, but it is a bit of a surprise.

The final inductee into the Hall of Fame class is…..Jim Ross. You can’t have Lawler go in without Ross so this is appropriate. The wrestlers imitating JR’s catchphrases is pretty awesome. JR gets a very emotional moment with the crowd, including a standing ovation.

Great Khali vs. Ric Flair

The destruction is on in a hurry and they head outside, with Khali loading up the chokeslam onto the steps. Cue Carlito for the fast DQ to save Flair.

Carlito gets destroyed for being nice but Kane comes in for the real save.

Ladies and Gentlemen by Saliva is the official theme song of the show. They let you know when they perform it in concert too.

The Condemned is coming.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Shawn Michaels talks about facing John Cena before but this is different than ever before. Every legend, icon, immortal, New York Times bestseller and great have stood across the ring from him but none of them could get it done. Yet here he is, standing the test of time because he is the main event, the icon and the showstopper. On Sunday, Shawn is going to take Cena to the top of the mountain but first, Cena has to go through the valley. Shawn is walking out as WWE Champion, but he has his partner’s back tonight. This was a heck of a promo, which isn’t really Shawn’s strong suit most of the time.

Shawn Michaels/John Cena vs. Batista/Undertaker

Non-title. The entrances take the better part of ever until it’s Undertaker and Cena taking turns throwing the other into the corner for right hands. Snake Eyes drops Cena but the big boot is countered into a failed FU attempt. Shawn comes in but gets kicked in the face, leaving Cena to get clotheslined. Batista comes in to help clean house but Undertaker is ready to fight.

Cena breaks that up (he isn’t always that bright and is soundly booed) and Shawn comes in to get rid of the Smackdown guys. Shawn whips Undertaker into the steps, followed by a swinging neckbreaker for two back inside. It’s back to Cena, who gets dropped with the jumping clothesline. Batista is back in for the shoulders to the ribs but Cena bulldogs him down (again with the booing).

Everything breaks down and Undertaker boots Shawn in the face. There’s a spinebuster to Cena but Undertaker throws Shawn at Batista to break up the Batista Bomb (in a callback to Smackdown). That’s enough for Undertaker, who walks out, leaving Cena to initiate the finishing sequence on Batista. Shawn joins in on the double Shuffle…..and FINALLY superkicks Cena to give Batista the pin.

Rating: B. This was ALL about the storylines working on their own and the tag match was just happening at the same time. What makes it works is the two stories being so well built up that I wanted to see what happened. The fact that you had four people who can work a good match like this and they didn’t stop for the entire time they had. Good action, but better storytelling, which is more important anyway.

We actually take one more break and come back with….replays of the superkick to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The wrestling here was completely inconsequential. This show was about accomplishing one goal and it did just that: I want to watch Wrestlemania. This year’s build has been one of the best that I can remember and as long as Smackdown isn’t a total disaster, they have done an outstanding job of making me want to see the show. Good build to the pay per view, even if it would have been quite the miss as a regular show. It wasn’t a regular show though, and that’s what matters.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Smackdown
Date: March 23, 2007
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Much like Raw, things have been going well around here as of late as we head into Wrestlemania. That does lead to a bit of a problem though, as the show runs the risk of running out of things to do with Wrestlemania so soon. It feels like Smackdown can do no wrong at the moment though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Arnold Skaaland.

Opening sequence.

Here is Vince McMahon (in a rather gold coat) to get things going. Vince talks about how much fun he had on Monday and we see a clip of the destruction of Eugene. If you think Eugene was humiliated by having his head shaved, imagine what it is going to be like when Donald Trump is shaved bald. Vince recaps Steve Austin’s involvement and promises to shave everyone’s hair. Oh and he’ll beat Bobby Lashley 1-2-3 on Raw.

That was so much fun that Vince thinks Lashley should be in action tonight. Cue Lashley’s opponent for the night: Mr. Kennedy. Eh that’s not enough so we’ll throw in Randy Orton to make it a handicap match. And we’ll make it a tables match, just for fun. They’re certainly making Lashley go through adversity and that is a good way to make him feel important.

Tag Team Titles: Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. MNM

MNM is challenging as their on/off team continues and Ashley/Melina are the thirds. It seems that something is wrong with JBL’s headset as Cole goes on solo for a long stretch during the entrances. It’s a brawl to start and a double forearm gets two on Mercury. Nitro offers a quick assist though and London misses a dropkick. London gets dropped ribs first onto the top rope and we hit the waistlock.

That’s broken up and London rolls over for the hot tag off to Kendrick. Mercury isn’t wasting time and cuts him off for two, with Melina screaming that it should have been three. The real hot tag brings in London as we talk about a Melina photo shoot. Melina grabs London’s foot on the top but Ashley cuts her off, setting up a high crossbody to retain the titles.

Rating: C. This was a commercial for Melina vs. Ashley disguised as a Tag Team Title match. To be fair, that’s the right call as the Ashley stuff is more important than the titles at the moment. London and Kendrick have held the titles for the better part of a year now and it is time they dropped them. Just not to MNM.

Kane scares Kristal and is very happy about what he did to Daivari last week. As for Khali, he is ready to go all the way at Wrestlemania and has the hook on a chain to help him. I’ll let you make your own comments.

Maryse welcomes us back to the show.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Non-title and JBL is right there saying Yang should be a cook in a noodle house. Yang fights out of the corner and hits a middle rope missile dropkick. Chavo is sent outside for a baseball slide into the announcers’ table but he’s fine enough to dropkick Yang out of the air back inside. We hit the armbar, followed by the double arm crank to keep Yang in trouble. Another armbar is broken up and Yang hits a jawbreaker, only to miss the spinwheel kick. Chavo hits Three Amigos (which Cole finds disrespectful) but Yang kicks him into the corner. The moonsault press gives Yang the upset pin.

Rating: C-. Gee I wonder what we are going to get out of this. I’m completely sick of the non-title losses and they are a reason why this title means so little. Chavo will come back and win the rematch and we’ll be right back where they started. That’s about as good as you’re going to get with the title and nothing is going to change because the cruiserweights don’t mean a thing.

Arnold Skaaland tribute video.

Trailer for the Condemned.

MVP vs. Cedric Von Haussen

Von Haussen’ Lichtenstein’s Title isn’t on the line and he looks like he stepped out of a Swiss clock. MVP clotheslines him down and hits a running boot in the corner. The Playmaker finishes for MVP in a hurry.

Post match, MVP brags about how he is going to win his first title at Wrestlemania and it is going to be a Wrestlemania Moment for both he and Chris Benoit. That’s going to make sure Benoit is on highlight reels and in documentaries forever. The same might be true for Von Haussen as well, who had a much better career when he changed his name to Johnny Gargano.

Celebrity Trump vs. McMahon picks.

Mr. Kennedy/Randy Orton vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title tables match and Lashley has to put both of them through a table to win. Lashley starts fast and sends Orton outside, leaving Kennedy to take a beating. Orton tries to grab the foot from the floor and gets suplexed for his efforts. The double teaming gives the villains a chance though and Lashley is sent shoulder first into the post.

Cue Vince McMahon as Orton gets out the first table. Lashley fights off the table in the corner and beats on Orton as Kennedy gets another table. That takes too long and Lashley puts Kennedy through said table in the corner. Vince does his panicked face and Lashley powerslams Orton through the table for the win.

Rating: C. Those are quite the odds to overcome but it’s just a tables match so it is a little easier to accept. Lashley is getting a great rub out of this whole story and this was another impressive win. Vince’s stunned face as he realized what he had gotten himself into on Monday was great and it should make for a very shenaniganzy match.

Gregory Helms vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title and joined in progress with a lockup going into the corner. Helms forearms Benoit down until a hard chop cuts him off. A snap suplex drops Helms again but he sends Benoit outside for the slingshot dive. Back in and Helms grabs a guillotine choke, which draws Benoit back up with more chops. Helms neckbreakers him down but Benoit rolls the German suplexes. The Swan Dive into the Crossface finishes Helms in a hurry.

Rating: C. Quick but energetic match here and it’s amazing how much less annoying it is to see Helms lose now that he doesn’t have the Cruiserweight Title. If nothing else, seeing him still lose like this shows you how little the title meant, which isn’t even the case with the Tag Team Titles. Benoit is back on track after the loss on Raw and that’s a good idea on the way to Wrestlemania.

Batista isn’t happy with Undertaker throwing Finlay at him last week. It’s about getting even though and they’ll be fine as a team tonight….at least during the match.

The Wild Samoans are going into the Hall of Fame. How in the world were they not in there already?

JBL leaves to head to the back for something.

Battle of the Billionaires Tale of the Tape.

Teddy Long gives Kristal a rose when JBL comes in. He’d like to moderate an interview between Undertaker and Batista next week. “Captain Cialis” agrees.

Finlay and King Booker jump Batista in the back.

Undertaker vs. King Booker/Finlay

So much for the huge tag match. Booker runs away from Undertaker to start but Finlay’s cheap shot lets Booker take him into the corner. That doesn’t work as Undertaker loads up Old School, which is reversed with a pull off the ropes but Undertaker pulls it down into an armdrag (egads man). Finlay gets booted off the apron and we take a break.

Back with Booker breaking up the apron legdrop and hammering away on the floor. Finlay’s running seated senton gets two as things slow down a bit. The villains start taking turns on Undertaker, with Finlay grabbing a half crab. The comeback is cut off with a clothesline to give Finlay two more but Undertaker fights up. That includes the running DDT to take Finlay down and the real comeback is on. The running clotheslines in the corner connect but Finlay grabs the Shillelagh for the DQ.

Rating: C+. The armdrag alone was worth the look as you don’t see Undertaker do that most of the time. It was a good way to end the show and you know there is going to be something with Batista before we wrap it up. As usual, this has been a very well done setup for the title match and they took another nice step here.

Post match the beatdown is on but Batista runs in for the save. Stereo powerbombs are loaded up but Batista throws Booker at Undertaker to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was mostly in the middle here, but you don’t watch a show nine days before Wrestlemania and expect some great matches. Instead, you got the storyline reinforcements that make Wrestlemania feel bigger, which is what you should be getting here. I liked the show and I wanted to see Wrestlemania, with none of this being really bad. That’s all they need to do for the next week and they will hit the ground running in Detroit.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 19, 2007
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are less than two weeks away from Wrestlemania and that means it is time to really hammer things home. This time though it means that WWE is in a bit of a weird place as they have actually nailed the setup. Raw and Smackdown have both been feeling it as of late and they need to be careful not to screw up with four shows left. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Arnold Skaaland. The hits just keep on coming at the moment.

Shawn Michaels vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This is part of Wrestlemania Reversal, as Shawn and John Cena will face the other’s former Wrestlemania opponent. Hold on though as JBL comes to the ring in a suit after just flying in from New York City. No one tells him what to do or when to come out of retirement. If he does it, he will do it in his town by his rules. This match isn’t happening, which is good for Shawn because he already has more problems with Cena.

Shawn is an egotistical ***** but he knows how to play mind games. This time though, Shawn is doubting what he can do because he knows he can’t beat John Cena. Shawn has Everest right in front of him but he won’t climb the mountain. But since Shawn has found religion and is such a nice guy, people won’t boo him when he won’t even try.

Shawn takes the mic and says he is here to fight, but he isn’t worried about getting respect from everyone because he has already earned it. At Wrestlemania, he can and will defeat Cena to become WWE Champion. Nobody tells him what to do and when to deliver Sweet Chin Music. He’ll do it when he wants and he’ll do it when you least expect it….like he does right now to JBL. Shawn takes JBL’s hat and leaves.

We get an updated Vince McMahon vs. Donald Trump tale of the tape, now featuring:

Family Ties
Children
Matches Fought Against Children
Phallic Symbol
Women Issues

Randy Orton comes in to yell at Edge over selling him out on ECW. They argue over the last chance battle royal for a Money in the Bank ladder match, because Edge has lost his spot over the two of them not taking out Bobby Lashley. Blows are about to be struck but Orton leaves and Edge yells a lot.

It’s time for the Masterlock Challenge with Bobby Lashley accepting this time. For some reason Masters slaps Lashley in the back of the head, earning himself a slap in the face. The Masterlock goes on and, after some struggling, Lashley officially breaks the hold to win the challenge for the first time. Masters grabs a chair but things better of it. Lashley rubs his bald head as a nod to Vince McMahon.

Ashley’s Playboy photographer had a good time with the set.

In the back, Bobby Lashley runs into Vince McMahon, flanked by Coach and a bunch of celebrities. Vince promises to have Umaga break Lashley and then he will break Donald Trump’s spirit. As for tonight, these security guards are escorting Lashley out of the building. Vince and Coach run into Maria and seem to be impressed. They then run into Eugene, who spills his drink on Vince’s suit. A match with Umaga ensues and here is Ron Simmons for a low key catchphrase.

Tribute video to Arnold Skaaland, featuring some great old school footage and a bunch of people praising him.

Steve Austin is All Grown Up.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Battle Royal

Ric Flair, Carlito, Edge, Viscera, Super Crazy, Val Venis, Shelton Benjamin, Charlie Haas, Johnny Nitro, Kenny Dykstra

It’s a brawl to start and everyone gets together to toss Viscera in a hurry. Things slow way down as a result until Edge is sent outside (under the ropes) and comes up favoring his knee. The usual brawling continues until Haas and Benjamin pull Crazy out of the air and toss him out. We take a break and come back with Venis and Haas having been eliminated and Edge still down at ringside. Carlito saves himself on top but Shelton goes up to meet him. That takes too long though and Flair tosses Benjamin out.

Flair crotches Dykstra on top and chops him out as Carlito gets rid of Nitro. That leaves us with Carlito vs. Flair and they go straight at it, with Carlito not being able to toss him. Carlito hits the springboard back elbow and a running….I think knee lift to put Flair down again. Flair survives another toss attempt and gets in a poke to the eye. Carlito elbows him down out of the corner but charges into a backdrop for the elimination. Then Edge comes back in to toss Flair for the win.

Rating: D+. I still can’t stand that finish but at least this was before it became a cliché. At the same time, this was quite the waste of time as Edge was in the ladder match last week and now is again after this show is over. It wasn’t overly long but there were only a few potential winners here and it made for a bit of a lengthy path to the finish.

Here are Vince McMahon and Coach, plus a bunch of people bringing out a barber’s chair and tools. Those things are going to be sitting at ringside though because it’s destruction time.

Umaga vs. Eugene

Non-title and Vince sits at ringside as Umaga runs Eugene over and stomps away. The running hip attack in the corner crushes Eugene and the Samoan Spike is good for the fast pin.

Post match Vince says keep it up and has Eugene strapped into the chair. Umaga chokes him out and Vince cuts Eugene’s hair. Vince is way too happy with this and we even get a Billionaire B**** Slap! They’ll finish the shaving in the back, with Vince promising to shave everyone in the arena.

Here is Candice Michelle for a chat. She has been reading Melina’s WWE.com blogs about how the Playboy cover girls can’t make it in the ring so Melina can come out here and do something about it. Cue Melina, who says Michelle has her job because she can take her clothes off. Melina does her own version of the Go Daddy dance and goes on a rant about how none of the Playboy women have any talent. She has turned Playboy down over and over because it is beneath her. Candice says Melina doesn’t turn anyone down and has been underneath everyone in that locker room. If Melina won’t take off her clothes, Candice will.

Candice Michelle vs. Melina

Non-title bra and panties match and we’re joined in progress with Candice, minus her shirt, ripping off Melina’s pants. Melina headscissors her down and they go into a rather suggestive roll around the ring. That’s enough for Melina to get rid of Candice’s pants for the fast win.

Post match, here is Ashley to yell at Melina and rip off her top. Cue Great Khali of all people to go after Ashley so Jerry Lawler goes in for the failed save attempt.

More celebrities offer Trump vs. McMahon picks.

Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

Toddy Grisham has replaced Lawler on commentary. Jeff avoids some right hands in the corner to start and snaps off some armdrags into an armbar. That’s broken up and Orton grabs his backbreaker and we hit the Liontamer to put Hardy in trouble. A rope is grabbed so Hardy comes back with more right hands into the Twist of Fate. Cue Edge to throw in a ladder though and Orton blasts Hardy for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not time here and the match was little more than a way to set up Money in the Bank. Hardy and Orton are capable of doing a lot more than this but you can only get so far given these circumstances. Rated-RKO’s days seem to be numbered if they aren’t already out, but at least they are going to be in a big match on the way out.

Post match Edge yells at Orton so Hardy gives Orton the Twist of Fate. The legdrop over the ladder crushes Orton as Edge is rather pleased.

Here’s a look at Steve Austin’s new movie, the Condemned.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Vince McMahon is on the phone with someone who is going to drop a bomb tonight. He has a bomb of his own: he is facing Bobby Lashley next week. Coach isn’t sure about this but Vince guarantees a win.

Eugene, now bad, cries WHY ME into a mirror.

John Cena vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title and Shawn Michaels is on commentary. They go with the hard lockup to start until Benoit takes him into the corner for the knees to the ribs. The fight goes outside with Benoit not being able to hit a German suplex. Cena almost clotheslines Shawn but pulls back in time, allowing Benoit to jump him from behind.

Back in and Benoit hits a running elbow for two before it’s time start in on Cena’s leg. A dragon screw legwhip sets up the Sharpshooter but Cena crawls over to the rope. Benoit rolls the German suplexes (to quite the positive reaction) but the Swan Dive misses. The comeback is on and Cena hits the Shuffle, setting up the FU into the STFU for the tap.

Rating: C+. Another match where it was good while it lasted but it didn’t get to last very long. Cena beating Benoit clean in about six minutes is a bit hard to take but at least Benoit lost to someone a little higher up on the food chain. Shawn wasn’t much of a factor here, but most of the good stuff has already happened in their buildup and it is time to get to Wrestlemania for everyone involved.

Post match, Shawn gets inside and teases the superkick but smiles at Cena. They point at the sign and Cena loads up the AA but puts him down instead. Cue JBL to say that next week, Cena and Michaels will face Undertaker and Batista.

Overall Rating: C. You can tell that they have moved into the final push towards Wrestlemania, meaning you aren’t like to get big names in longer matches. It might be a little annoying, but it makes sense to keep things as safe as possible on the way to Detroit. Not a great show, but it did its job of staying the course for one more week as Wrestlemania gets closer and closer.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: March 16, 2007
Location: Sovereign Bank Arena, Trenton, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

I’m really not sure what to expect here and I kind of like that feeling. Last week’s Smackdown was a complete success with a pair of gems in Undertaker vs. Finlay and Kane vs. Batista. If they can come close to that this week, they are going to be in fine shape as they round the turn towards Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Batista to get things going (while rocking the heck out of a suit) on MizTV. Miz sucks up to Batista for the sake of not being ripped in half and brings out the latest WWE Magazine. There is an interview in here where Batista said that he was unstoppable, but Undertaker is the one who is really unstoppable. Miz thinks Undertaker could come out here right now and take Batista apart. The lights go off but pop back up and Miz laughs because he paid some guy in the back to turn them off. Batista finds if funny and shakes Miz’s hand….but he doesn’t find Miz funny. Destruction ensues.

Ashley and Kane are going to be on Smallville. I remember that episode.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Matt Hardy

Feeling out process to start with Kennedy not looking all that worried. Hardy takes him down with a hammerlock but gets sent into the corner for his efforts. That earns Kennedy a running clothesline and they crash out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Kennedy grabbing a cravate to keep Hardy in trouble.

Hardy fights up but the corner bulldog is shoved away, allowing Kennedy to hit a chop block. The leg is slammed into the apron and some knees to the knee keep Hardy in trouble. A clothesline gives Kennedy two and the Indian Deathlock goes on. Hardy turns it over (Does that hurt?) and Kennedy has to grab the rope for the break.

Kennedy is fine enough to go up and miss the Kenton Bomb, allowing Hardy to strike away. The Side Effect gives Hardy two and Kennedy’s rollup, while grabbing the rope, gets the same. Another Regal Roll is countered into the Twist of Fate to give Hardy the fast pin out of nowhere.

Rating: B-. This was a longer match and it’s weird to see Kennedy getting pinned clean. Kennedy worked over the leg for a good chunk of the match and then but Hardy worked through it until he could win in the end. That’s a story that works well for both guys and Hardy winning reminds you that he is actually pretty good around here.

Post break, Kennedy says that he’s still winning Money in the Bank.

MVP vs. El Grande Latte

Non-title, as Latte’s Honduran Heavyweight Title isn’t on the line. Cole brags about winning his Little League championship as MVP dismantles the rather thin Latte. Ballin connects and MVP ties him in the Tree of Woe to stomp away. The Playmaker finishes for MVP in a hurry.

Post match, MVP reiterates his challenge to Chris Benoit for Wrestlemania. MVP lists off some of the great US Champions and says he has more style than Ric Flair and more skill than Harley Race. He’s living the American Dream too as the poor boy from Miami, but maybe Chris Benoit isn’t hearing him. Maybe we should change his name from the Crippler to the Coward. Cue Teddy Long to say the match is on and here is Benoit to start the brawl.

This Monday: John Cena vs. Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels vs. JBL. Cole isn’t convinced but JBL says he has something planned.

Melina/MNM vs. Ashley/Brian Kendrick/Paul London

Mercury (now without the mask) headlocks Kendrick to start but it’s quickly off to London to work on the arm. Enough about a match with half the people involved being champions though, as it’s time to talk about Vince McMahon and Donald Trump. The women come in and stare at each other before handing it back to Kendrick and Nitro. Everything breaks down and a double dive to the floor takes MNM down.

Back in and Melina gets in a cheap shot to the ribs and it’s a reverse chinlock with a knee in the back to keep him down. Nitro grabs the cravate and it’s back to Mercury to stay on him with some right hands. A double belly to back faceplant gets two on Kendrick and we’re off to a chinlock. Mercury goes after Ashley but the distraction allows the hot tag to London. Everything breaks down and Melina gets in a cheap shot on Ashley, leaving London to walk into the Snapshot for the pin.

Rating: C. The women might as well have been on the outside here but I get the concept at least. I’m not sure how bad it is going to be for Ashley to be in a title match at Wrestlemania but the fact that she was barely active here isn’t the most encouraging. The guys could probably work this match in their sleep, but London and Kendrick haven’t been around much as of late so there wasn’t a ton of energy to the whole thing.

Video tribute to Ernie Ladd.

Maryse welcomes us back to the show.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell are not happy that he has to wrestle the Undertaker tonight. Finlay comes in looking for Hornswoggle but they don’t care about him. Hold on though, as Booker asks Finlay for advice against Undertaker. Finlay: “RUN!” The guys leave and Hornswoggle appears, carrying a pitcher of beer. He wishes Sharmell a Happy St. Patrick’s Day and asks for a kiss, sending her running off screaming. Well that was creepy.

Celebrities pick Vince McMahon vs. Donald Trump.

Long video on the Trump vs. McMahon contract signing.

Daivari vs. Kane

Kane’s entrance cuts off Daivari’s rant so we’re starting fast. The destruction doesn’t take long as Kane knocks him into the corner and hammers away with the variety you would probably expect. The choke shove sends Daivari out through the ropes and it’s a chokeslam onto the steps. Then Kane grabs the hook chain and ties Daivari up, which I think is enough for the no contest.

Post break Kane drags Daivari backstage and seemingly into the boiler room.

Mr. Fuji Hall of Fame video.

Undertaker vs. King Booker

Batista is on commentary. Booker actually wins an early slugout but the advantage doesn’t last long as Undertaker punches him into the corner. They’re on the floor in a hurry with Booker going face first into the steps. Back in and Old School is broken up, allowing Booker to drop him with a running forearm. A big boot takes Booker down just as fast for two and now Old School can connect.

Undertaker’s running DDT gets two and it’s time for the slow rights and lefts in the corner. As Undertaker clotheslines him outside, JBL says that Batista is better than King Kong Bundy and Giant Gonzalez. Undertaker makes the mistake of stopping to glare at Batista though and Booker gets in a cheap shot as we take a break. Back with Booker hitting a side slam for two and grabbing a chinlock. That’s broken up and Undertaker pulls him outside to start the brawling again.

They get back inside with Booker kneeing away to block a superkick and we hit the front facelock. Booker hammers away but Undertaker does it a bit better, setting up Snake Eyes into the big boot. Undertaker hits the jumping clothesline but Booker is back with the jumping side kick for two. Back up and the Undertaker tries the Last Ride, only to get jumped by Finlay for the DQ.

Rating: C+. These two beat each other up and that’s all you can ask for here. Well maybe save for Undertaker getting the pin, as it isn’t like Booker losing to Undertaker is going to derail him. Booker was actually working harder here and it was a harder hitting offense than usual this week. Good match, but the ending was a bit weird.

Post match the brawl is on with Undertaker getting the better of things, including throwing Finlay into Batista. Undertaker walks up the ramp as Batista is livid to end the show. This has been a really well built story so far and I want to see these two fight.

Overall Rating: C+. This wasn’t as good as last week, but that was a pretty high ceiling to reach. What matters here is they are making Wrestlemania look good and none of the recent shows have been awful. If they can keep that momentum up for the next two weeks, Wrestlemania might be even better than it seems, which would be rather impressive. Another good show this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 12, 2007
Location: Verizon Center, Washington DC
Attendance: 14,740
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are less than three weeks away from Wrestlemania and it’s another Donald Trump show as the contract has to be signed. Other than that, the World Title situation has been picking up as you can feel the tension building between Shawn Michaels and John Cena. The shows have actually been working well as of late and that might be the case again this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Ernie Ladd.

We open with a recap of Shawn Michaels and John Cena not needing the other to save them, with Shawn barely saving Cena to end the show.

Here is John Cena to get things going. Cena knows there is tension in the air because he doesn’t know if he can trust Shawn Michaels. When is Shawn going to betray him and get it over with? If Shawn wants to turn on his tag partner then fine, but if Shawn wants to kick his teeth down his throat, come out here and do it right now.

Cue Shawn, but Cena cuts him off to say this is all about the title. Shawn says he isn’t going to win Good Samaritan this year because all he cares about is being WWE Champion. People have been asking when he is going to turn on Cena, but why aren’t people asking when Cena is going to turn on him? Cena will do anything to be champion and that’s what Shawn likes about him. As much as Cena wants to be champion, Shawn wants one more day in the sun that much more.

Violence is teased but here is Coach to interrupt. All this talk about the WWE Title has taken focus off of the Tag Team Titles and there are a lot of teams ready to take their heads off. That’s why tonight, it’s a gauntlet match against three teams. It seems to be three straight title matches, and the third is going to take place inside a steel cage.

Celebrities pick who they want to see bald.

Donald Trump arrives.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Randy Orton vs. Carlito vs. Ric Flair

Elimination rules so Orton has to fight off a double team out of the corner. Back to back dropkicks put Carlito and Flair down but Flair is back up with the chops. Carlito does the same in the corner and gets two off a back elbow to the face. Flair takes out the knee and Carlito hits the springboard elbow. For reasons of good guys in wrestling are idiots, Carlito wants to put on the RKO so a fight breaks out with Flair. The Backstabber to Flair sets up the RKO for the elimination and we take a break.

Back with Carlito crawling to the ropes to get out of a Boston crab. That’s fine with Orton, as he gets in the Garvin Stomp into the jumping knee for two. Orton punches him down in the corner and we hit the chinlock. Carlito, eventually, fights up and snaps off a hurricanrana into a flapjack for two. The springboard spinning Swanton gets two but Orton crotches him on top. The RKO sends Orton to Wrestlemania.

Rating: C-. The elimination rule was little more than a way for Carlito to look like a moron, which he tends to do on his own. The Carlito/Flair stuff makes sense on paper, but then falls apart when you realize that it’s a story about Carlito. Orton going on makes sense as he needs something to do at Wrestlemania and he looked pretty dominant on the way there.

Video on Bobby Lashley vs. Vince McMahon.

It’s time for a Masterlock Challenge but no one comes out. Chris Masters offers Lilian Garcia a chance but here is Super Crazy for the save. Crazy gets in a few shots but gets Masterlocked down. This was every Masterlock Challenge for months now.

Vince McMahon arrives and tells Donald Trump’s driver to tell Trump that his is bigger than Trump’s. The limo that is.

Video on Ernie Ladd, who I like more and more every time I see something from him.

Edge and Randy Orton are getting ready in the back but stop to bicker about winning Money in the Bank. Edge is undefeated, but the only reason is he never faced Randy Orton.

Lilian Garcia asks us to look at the Titantron for a public service announcement. Someone is reading the Los Angeles Times and talking about the Battle of the Billionaires. The paper is folded down…..and it’s the Rock. Well that wakes the crowd up. Rock talks about being Samoan himself and knows that Umaga is Samoan for shriveled up monkey censored. How is Vince going to win with a shriveled up monkey censored? Rock hits some catchphrases and we’re done in a hurry. This was as fast paced of a cameo as you’re going to get.

Ashley had a Playboy signing in New York City.

Tag Team Titles: Gauntlet Match

John Cena and Shawn Michaels are defending in three straight matches. First up is the World’s Greatest Tag Team so Cena hiptosses and elbows Benjamin down to start. The release fisherman’s suplex gets two but Benjamin gets him into the corner for the tag to Haas. Some right hands and a slam set up more right hands but Cena runs him over. The hot(ish) tag brings in Michaels to clean house until Cena tags himself back in. The STFU, with a glare at Michaels, makes Haas tap.

Trevor Murdoch and Lance Cade are in next with an atomic drop/big boot combination to take over on Michaels. Murdoch’s slingshot knee gives Cade two and a jumping clothesline is good for the same. The bearhug doesn’t last long as Michaels punches his way out and hits an enziguri. Cena gets the tag and starts to wreck things, including the FU to Murdoch….at least in theory, as Shawn superkicks Murdoch for the pin instead. The cage is lowered and it’s MNM as the third challengers.

We’re joined in progress with Nitro getting two on Cena before grabbing the chinlock. That doesn’t last long as Cena is up in a hurry for another tag back to Michaels. Nitro takes Michaels down as well and it’s time for some choking. A neckbreaker gives Nitro two but the yet to be named Starship Pain misses.

Despite Mercury getting in a cheap shot on Cena, Michaels gets over for the tag anyway and it’s time to clean house. Everything breaks down and it turns into a contest to see who can abuse Mercury worse. Mercury is busted open but Michaels and Cena get into it again, this time over which finisher to use. Nitro gets dropped so it’s a superkick to send Mercury into the FU to retain.

Rating: C. This was little more than a workout for Cena and Michaels, as the other three teams just aren’t close to them. It took about six minutes to beat the first two and then not much more than that to take out MNM. The feud has been doing good things for Cena and Michaels but it has shown how weak the tag division is. Then again, that has been pretty clear for a long time now.

Post match the cage is raised and the other teams come in to go after Michaels and Cena. That’s fine with Cena, who grabs a chair to wreck everyone. Cena teases hitting Michaels but everything is cool and the champs leave everyone laying.

Jeff Hardy vs. Edge

Hold on though as Edge is in street clothes. He would love to come down and beat up Jeff Hardy but he isn’t wrestling in a city with a football team named after a racial slur. Replacement time, as Edge has a friend of Indian descent.

Jeff Hardy vs. Great Khali

Hardy isn’t sure about this but hammers away to no avail. Khali throws him down without much trouble, hits him in the head, and yells a lot. Cue Kane though…..and he has some meat hooks on a chain (his See No Evil weapon) so we’ll call it from here.

Post match Khali runs away from the threat of likely death so Kane uses the hooks to destroy the announcers’ table instead.

Donald Trump wants to know if Vince McMahon’s hair is fake.

Mr. Fuji is going into the Hall of Fame. Other than Billy Gunn and Kofi Kingston, he held a Tag Team Title longer than any man in company history so yeah, he belongs in there.

Mick Foley is proud of his new book, the Hardcore Diaries, and talks about some things he discusses, including Vince McMahon’s lack of creative genius and ECW. Cue Ashley, who offers a copy of Playboy for the book. Foley says he won’t look at the pictures because he can’t look at Ashley that way. As luck would have it, Foley has a page marked in his book about his thoughts on his co-workers in Playboy. He turns around to the open magazine and Ron Simmons comes in for his catchphrase.

We get a Battle of the Billionaires tale of the tape.

Vince is getting his hair ready and reminds the hairdresser that he is bigger than Trump. Coach comes in to praise Vince’s hair but Vince goes on a rant about how Coach’s bald head reminds him too much of Trump.

Melina vs. Torrie Wilson

Non-title. Torrie gets two off a bridging rollup, which has commentary rather approving. Another rollup gets another two as commentary talks about various magazines. Melina fights up but gets knocked down, allowing JR to mention that Torrie is from the potato state of Idaho. That’s enough for Melina, who grabs a rollup with trunks for the pin.

Post match the beatdown stays on until Mickie James runs in for the save, with Victoria right behind her. Melina is left alone so here is Ashley to beat her down instead.

Edge comes up to Vince McMahon in the back and offers to have Rated-RKO take care of Bobby Lashley on ECW. How about tomorrow, Lashley faces Randy Orton? If Orton can’t go though, he should be thrown out of Money in the Bank. Vince is good with that.

Here is Vince McMahon for the contract signing, though first he has to slip on the way into the ring. Vince talks about how Donald Trump won’t be able to get out of this one and brings out Umaga, with Armando Alejandro Estrada of course. There is no Trump though and Vince thinks it is due to cowardice.

The threat of a Billionaire B**** Slap brings out Trump, flanked by Maria and Candice Michelle. Trump: “Vince, your grapefruits are no match for my Trump towers.” He brings out Bobby Lashley (Trump: “Love you Bobby. Do we love Bobby? Do we love Bobby?”) and says these people seem to like him. Vince doesn’t care what the people or celebrities think and they both sign.

Cue Steve Austin to keep the star power and Vince’s panicking going. Austin asks the fans about their picks for the match before telling Trump that he is in his ring. Trump does nothing but tell people they’re fired, but don’t get on Austin’s bad side or he’ll take him out. Trump smirks it off so Austin goes over to Vince to ask about his problem with bald people (as we cut to Lashley and then back to Austin).

Vince isn’t happy so Austin grabs him by the tie and threatens various acts of violence. Austin leaves so Vince recaps everything again before leaving. Hold on though as Trump has something of his own: FAKE PHOTOS OF A BALD VINCE!!! Trump wants to fight Vince right now so Vince gets back in, only to be shoved over the table to end the show. This was the big angle of the night and while things are a bit different in hindsight, they knew what they had here and the money they made on Wrestlemania showed how right they were.

Overall Rating: C. This one is going to depend on how you look at it. While the wrestling itself was nothing memorable whatsoever, they’re in a bit of a unique spot. Wrestlemania is set and there is nothing else that really needs to be added. That means the rest of the time is going to be spent firming things up, hence the 20+ minute main event segment. The show isn’t very good on its own, but as part of the build to Wrestlemania, it worked rather well.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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