Survivor Series 2023 (2024 Edition): Two For One

Survivor Series 2023
Date: November 25, 2023
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

So believe it or not, the focus is going to be on WarGames and in this case it means the good guys need one more star to help fight off Judgment Day. In theory that is going to be Randy Orton, who has been gone for about a year and a half and isn’t quite back yet. Other than that, Damage CTRL is facing another ragtag group of women so let’s get to it.

It’s almost weird to see the old Then Now Together Forever intro after the change at Wrestlemania XL.

The opening video focuses on WarGames, because what else was it going to be?

The cage is lowered.

WarGames recap:

• Two wrestlers start and fight for five minutes.

• After five minutes, the team with the advantage (as determined before the match) gets a three minute advantage.

• The teams alternate until all ten are in and then it’s first pin/submission to win.

Women’s WarGames

Charlotte, Bianca Belair, Becky Lynch, Shotzi
Bayley, Iyo Sky, Asuka, Kairi Sane

Lynch and Bayley start things off with Lynch sending her into the cage, only to get sent into the buckle. Bayley catches Lynch going up top but Lynch rolls over her and they slug it out. Lynch’s exploder sends her flying but Bayley gets in a ram into the cage. They go between the rings so Bayley can get in a suplex as they’re certainly going with the violence to start. The fight goes into the other ring and Lynch sends her into the cage a few times.

The Disarm-Her goes on but here is Dakota Kai with a kendo stick through the cage to break it up. That’s enough for Bayley to take over and it’s Shotzi coming in, with a ram of the door onto Bayley’s head, to take over. Naturally that means a bunch of chairs and weapons are thrown in, because THE BIG DOUBLE CAGE isn’t enough. Shotzi sets up the chair and Bayley has to climb the cage to get away from some rather painful swings.

They all go up the cage and ram each other into the steel until Bayley crashes down. Stereo forearms from the to take her down again but it’s Iyo Sky coming in to tie it up, complete with a chain. For some reason Lynch and Shotzi don’t see her coming and get beaten down, as WarGames seems to make people a bit slow. A springboard double missile dropkick puts Lynch and Shotzi down again and Bayley is back up. Lynch gets double superplexed down for a crash but Shotzi fights out of the corner, allowing Belair to come in.

Belair whips with the hair and the fans rather approve. A spinebuster puts Bayley down but she and grab the braids, only to get suplexed down. Lynch and Shotzi are back in with a guillotine legdrop and top rope splash before Kairi Sane is in to even things up. Well eventually that is, as she takes her sweet time getting a trashcan lid and then headscissoring Belair anyway.

The sliding forearm against the cage sends Belair into the cage before it’s time to bury Shotzi under some chairs. The pop up elbow drop crushes Shotzi but Belair is back to throw Sane onto Bayley and Sky. Charlotte comes in to complete her team and Sky is sent crashing into the cage. Naturally the fans want tables but have to settle for a top rope double Natural Selection (which Graves has to point out to Cole, who realizes his mistake in a funny bit) to Bayley and Sane.

Charlotte starts climbing the cage but Sky, with a chain, gets o her shoulders and gets all the way to the top. Sky drops the chain to Kai, who ties it around a trashcan so Sky can pull it up (that was clever). Sky puts the trashcan over her head and dives onto the pile (she LOVES that spot), who were nice enough to stand there while Sky took forever to get ready (fair enough). Asuka is in to complete the field and she has some colored kendo sticks. And a table. And a fire extinguisher.

Therefore, a good minute after her clock ended, Asuka gets in and WarGames officially begins. Damage CTRL all grab weapons to hammer on the others, with Lynch and Belair being tied together with the chain like they’re in an old western. Shotzi is back up but gets misted by Asuka to cut her right back down. Lynch is put inside the trashcan and dropkicked down for two and it’s time to set up a table. Belair and Lynch come back with powerbombs out of the corner though and Charlotte goes all the way up top for the huge moonsault to wipe out everyone.

We get the big staredown between Lynch and Charlotte, who hug for the rather positive reaction. The Figure Eight and cross armbreaker go on but Sane is up for the save. Shotzi is back up to drop Asuka for two with Bayley making a save of her own. Bayley Rose Plants Lynch but gets caught with a Sliced Bread from Shotzi. Belair is up with the fire extinguisher and Charlotte spears Bayley. The KOD hits Bayley as well and the super Manhandle Slam through a table finishes her off at 33:37.

Rating: B. It had the carnage and violence with the weapons, but there is always a lack of intensity to these matches that hold them back. Part of it stems from the people coming to the ring but then pausing to get their weapons. Other than that, it was the usual WWE WarGames: a lot of brawling and hitting other people with weapons, with the cage mainly being there to jump off of rather than for violence, which is more than a bit odd.

The winners pose on top of the cage.

Chelsea Green, Piper Niven and the Alpha Academy are enjoying some Ruffles when Pretty Deadly come in to argue over whether they’re chips or crisps. R-Truth comes in to say they’re Ruffles.

Sami Zayn tells Jey Uso that Randy Orton, the last member of their team, isn’t here yet. Jey isn’t surprised and takes the blame because the Bloodline injured him two years ago. Sami says it’s not his fault and things seem to be ok.

We recap Miz challenging Gunther for the Intercontinental Title. Gunther is the longest reigning champion and doesn’t think much of Miz, who wants the title back. To say Miz has no chance here would be an understatement.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Gunther

Gunther is defending and commentary spends his entrance talking about how he is almost unbeatable, even giving Miz’s long shot betting odds. Miz kicks at the leg to start and a chop just annoys Gunther. A much better chop puts Miz down but he’s back up with more chops and some left hands in the corner to actually take over. Gunther gives chase but gets his leg wrapped around the post to slow him down.

The Figure Four around the post stays on the leg, though it’s good enough to boot Miz out of the air back inside. Gunther slows things down a bit and chops away to drop Miz again. A release German suplex sends Miz flying and a big boot lets Gunther pose as the dominance is on. Back up and Miz strikes away at the knee again, with a shinbreaker slowing Gunther down. Some kicks to the chest stagger Gunther into the corner and a tornado DDT gets two.

The Skull Crushing Finale is blocked though and Gunther grabs his powerbomb for his own near fall. The sleeper goes on so Miz goes to the corner, pulling the turnbuckle off in the process. A low blow into the Skull Crushing Finale gets two (with Cole letting us know that “MIZ IS GONNA DO IT!” to ruin the moment) and Miz is shocked. The fans want to see it again but Miz gets caught in the sleeper. That’s reversed into a ram into the buckle so Miz can roll him up for two (with a Bret Hart vs. Roddy Piper reference), only to get blasted with a clothesline. The top rope splash into the Boston crab retains the title at 12:19.

Rating: B-. This was about as good as it was going to be as there was just no reason to believe that Miz was going to win. Even his big near fall was only so good, as pretty much no one was on Gunther’s level at this time. Miz going after the leg to slow Gunther down was a good story, as Miz can still wrestle a fine match given the chance. It was a good match, but there was just not much drama and that held it back.

Judgment Day is ready for WarGames and is rather pleased that Randy Orton doesn’t seem to be here. Even if he shows up, he might poison the other team and Judgment Day wins anyway.

We recap Dragon Lee vs. Santos Escobar. This stems from Escobar turning on Rey Mysterio and the LWO, so Lee is standing up for the team (replacing Carlito, who was also injured by Escobar). Pretty simple story here and that’s not a bad thing.

Santos Escobar vs. Dragon Lee

Escobar forearms away to start and stomps him down, setting up a quick backbreaker for two. Some running knees in the corner send Lee outside, where he has to escape having his leg crushed in the steps. A running hurricanrana off the apron sends Escobar outside and there’s the big running flip dive.

Back in and Escobar kicks him in the head, setting up a super hurricanrana for two. Like any good rudo, Escobar goes after the mask but Lee is fine enough to tie him in the tree of woe for thee double stomp. Back up and Escobar hits a heck of a superkick but Lee muscles him up into a sitout powerbomb for two. Escobar shrugs that off and his a Canadian Destroyer, followed by the Phantom Driver for the pin at 8:20.

Rating: C+. WWE was doing what they could to make Lee into a bigger deal around this time but it was only going to get so far when he kept losing. Escobar was running through the LWO on his way to a showdown with Rey Mysterio whenever Mysterio got back and he had to beat Lee on the way there. This wasn’t a great match, but it kept Escobar looking strong and it’s nice to have something other than a title or WarGames mach on the show.

New Day is here with a Slim Jim car.

We recap Zoey Stark challenging Rhea Ripley for the Raw Women’s Title. Stark is the new tough star and Ripley needs a fresh victim so the match is on.

Raw Women’s Title: Rhea Ripley vs. Zoey Stark

Ripley is defending and Stark actually double legs her down to hammer away to start. A dropkick sends Ripley outside and there’s the dive off the top to take her down again. Back in and a missile dropkick continues Stark’s hot start but Ripley headbutts her into the next county to cut that off in a hurry. Stark is right back with a DDT onto the apron and a springboard corkscrew senton gets two. They go outside again with Ripley dropping her onto the apron and then sending her into the post to really take over.

Ripley cranks on both arms back inside and then stomps her down before taking Stark up top. What looks to be a super chokeslam is countered into…I have no idea what Stark was doing there but she gets two and screams a lot. Ripley elbows and kicks her in the face, setting up a belly to back faceplant. Riptide is countered though and Stark hits a running knee for two. The Z360 is blocked as well and now Riptide can connect to retain the title at 9:16.

Rating: C. This got a bit sloppy after that whole thing off the top, as even commentary didn’t seem sure about what was going on. Other than that, it was Ripley against someone who only felt like so much of a threat. That’s part of the problem with someone becoming as big of a star as Ripley: you can only have so many realistic challengers to her and that is becoming an issue here.

Randy Orton still isn’t here and Jey Uso still blames himself.

We recap the men’s WarGames match. Judgment Day is the big monster heel stable on Raw and a bunch of people are sick of them, so violence ensued and the match is on. Drew McIntyre is in with Judgment Day for the sake of getting his hands on Jey Uso in a cage. It still isn’t clear if Randy Orton will be here, as he hasn’t been around in about a year and a half at this point.

Men’s WarGames

Cody Rhodes, Seth Rollins, Jey Uso, Sami Zayn, Randy Orton
Damian Priest, Finn Balor, Dominik Mysterio, JD McDonagh, Drew McIntyre

McIntyre and Priest stare each other down on the stage as Balor goes to start with Rollins (who doesn’t have a Randy Orton here yet). They start fast with Rollins diving over the ropes to jump Balor and hammer away. The fight is quickly on and Rollins sends him into the cage a few times and they change rings, where Balor escapes a buckle bomb. Balor sends him into the cage to take over and there’s a Sling Blade to drop Rollins again as a CM PUNK chant starts up.

A superkick gives Rollins a breather but Balor backdrops him onto the plate between the rings. The Coup de Grace misses though and Rollins grabs a quick Sling Blade. Rollins drops him again and it’s JD McDonagh to uneven things, albeit a good bit less than five minutes into the match. Rollins kicks him on the way in but gets hit with a kendo stick for his efforts.

Balor and McDonagh take turns choking with the kendo sticks but Rollins sends McDonagh into the other ring. That’s broken up in a hurry and a middle rope kendo stick to the back puts Rollins down again. Jey Uso is in next (McIntyre gives him a death stare) and chairs McDonagh down before firing off the YEET punches. The dancing spit punch puts Balor down but McDonagh is back up with a running Spanish Fly.

Rollins makes the save and hammers on Balor in the corner as the clock runs down. McIntyre is ready to get in and go after Uso but Priest cuts him off, saying they stick to the plan. Rollins and Uso jump him as he comes in but the other two make the save, allowing Priest to whip out a baton and take over. Priest hits some running shoulders in the corner, followed by a lifting Downward Spiral to Rollins.

A top rope flip dive takes out Rollins and Uso and Balor chairs Uso in the back. Sami Zayn comes in to even the sides, and takes his sweet time doing so. McDonagh, ever the nitwit, swings a kendo stick at Zayn, who takes it away and blasts him with it instead. The table is thrown in, which the fans find UCEY. Zayn is fired up as he stomps away, setting up a Blue Thunder Bomb to Balor. With the villains down, Zayn goes up and grabs a pipe, which is used on various opponents in rather painful ways.

A kendo stick to the back rocks Balor and Zayn throws the stick out of the cage, possibly by accident. McIntyre is in and throws Rollins and Zayn around without much effort. That leaves McIntyre to finally go into the other ring with Uso, who slugs away but gets dropped by a neckbreaker. The rest of Judgment Day is back up to hammer away, but McIntyre’s Claymore runs into a superkick from Uso.

A 1D puts McIntyre down and Cody Rhodes is in, with Cole immediately going into the Dusty Rhodes tribute. Cole: “Cody also invented a big event in this city as well!” And we move on. Rhodes cleans house and suplexes Balor onto McDonagh for a crash. It’s bullrope time (of course) and Rollins joins Rhodes in taking out Balor and McDonagh. Dominik Mysterio is in to complete the Judgment Day and gives Rhodes Two Amigos…and then realizes he’s surrounded.

The big group beatdown has the fans rather pleased and a table being set up in the corner makes them even happier. The rest of the villains save Mysterio and the fans chant for Orton. That’s switched to Punk, followed by silence as McIntyre and Priest hit a triple chokeslam (and a good one at that). McDonagh adds a moonsault, Balor hits the Coup de Grace and Mysterio drops the frog splash.

Priest Razor’s Edges Rollins through a table and the clock ends….but there’s no Orton. Instead here is Rhea Ripley with Priest’s Money In The Bank briefcase, which for some reason is enough to bring Orton out (no cash-in) and egads the fans are happy to see him. Orton gets in the cage (no weapons) and slams the door, which bounces back open in a funny bit. House is quickly cleaned, mainly because Judgment Day comes at him one at a time.

McIntyre gets in a shot on Orton and the big beatdown is on. Everyone else is back up for the save and Orton and company hit quintuple hanging DDTs. Orton teases an RKO to Uso but Uso superkicks Priest to save Orton instead. The RKO drops Mysterio and it’s a parade of finishers to the villains. Everyone goes after McDonagh, who tries to escape but Zayn and Rollins follow him up top. With Orton on the mat, Zayn and Rollins throw McDonagh into an RKO, leaving Rhodes to Cross Rhodes Priest for the pin at 34:22.

Rating: B+. I liked this one a bit more than the women’s version, mainly because it felt more like a fight rather than a big series of weapons spots. The pop when Orton came out was insane and it made things feel special. You don’t see that kind of thing very often and the whole thing was about as violent as this is going to get. Seeing Mysterio and Mysterio get beaten down was a good way to go and this felt like an all-star team coming together to take out a mostly unified opposition. Solid main event here, and while it wasn’t a classic WarGames match, it was good by WWE standards.

The good guys celebrate, the copyright notice comes up….and the impossible happens as CM Punk is back for the first time in almost ten years. The fans take over the IT’S CLOBBERIN TIME and Punk hugs a bunch of fans. This was an absolutely insane moment that I never thought I would see. Even after Punk left AEW, it was hard to fathom and yet here it was. Great way to end the show and dang it worked.

A long recap ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. This show was centered around two matches and those matches both delivered. The other three were just filler to get us from one big match to the next and that’s a fine way to go. The big stories here were the double returns at the end and those worked rather well. It helps that the show was less than three hours from start to finish so they didn’t waste any time. Good show here, with the special moment at the end being worth a look.

 

 

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 2022 (2023 Edition): It Happened

Survivor Series 2022
Date: November 26, 2022
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,609
Commentators: Kevin Patrick, Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Wade Barrett

It’s been a year since WWE had its first (main roster) WarGames match and believe it or not, the focus is on the Bloodline. This time around Sami Zayn has to prove his loyalty to the team, which is creating some drama. Other than that, we have Team Belair vs. Team Damage CTRL in the women’s version, which should be quite good as well. Let’s get to it.

The opening video, featuring Ozzy Osbourne, looks at WarGames because, well, what else would it look at?

Commentary welcomes us to the show and explains the rules of WarGames:

• Two wrestlers start and fight for five minutes.

• After five minutes, the team with the advantage (as determined before the match) gets a three minute advantage.

• The teams alternate until all ten are in and then it’s first pin/submission to win.

• No it isn’t the original WarGames rules. Let it go already.

Team Belair vs. Team Damage CTRL

Belair: Bianca Belair, Alexa Bliss, Asuka, Mia Yim, Becky Lynch
Damage CTRL: Bayley, Dakota Kai, Iyo Sky, Nikki Cross, Rhea Ripley

Kai and Belair start things off with the former running away to get it going. Belair wrestles her to the mat before hitting a running shoulder as the slow pace starts. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Kai down again and we talk about Belair’s recent interview with Sports Illustrated, which is as WARGAMES-y as you can get.

Kai gets in a shot of her own and they go into the second cage and try to make it all the way to first gear. A scorpion kick staggers Belair but she runs Kai over and sends her into the cage (as we now remember that they’re in a CAGE). Another toss into the cage leaves Kai down and it’s Sky unevening the odds. Sky and Belair take turns flipping around until Belair gets caught between the two of them in between the rings.

The villains take over on Belair in the corner until she double suplexes her way out of trouble. Asuka comes in to help Belair clean house and we get the big showdown with Sky. They both counter whips into the ropes until Asuka hits a running hip attack against said ropes. The running knee to the head puts Sky down again and Belair is back up with a gorilla press toss to Kai. Cross is in next but first it’s time for the weapons. Asuka gets the door slammed onto her head, leaving Cross to tornado DDT Belair.

With Belair and Asuka down, Cross whips them with her coat until Kai and Sky are up to get in their variety of choking. It’s Bliss coming in to even things up again and some dropkicks put Cross and Kai down. Belair gets back up and breaks a kendo stick but Kai and Sky use the full ones to cut her off. Cross sits on top of the cage as sticking and hair whipping ensue below. Naturally that means the big dive to take everyone out and yes Cross laughed the whole time.

Now it’s Bayley coming in so let’s grab some ladders. The fans want tables so Bayley obliges as the match has more or less stopped while she moves stuff around. Bayley sends Belair into the corner before putting her in between the rings again. A table shot to the ribs leaves Belair trapped until Yim is….released to grab more weapons. House is quickly cleaned, including Kai being rammed into the cage and kicked in the face over and over.

Cross chokes Yim and the people split off again as this really isn’t picking up. Some superplexes have everyone down and it’s Ripley coming in to complete Damage CTRL. House is quickly cleaned until everyone just kind of stands around (save for Ripley Prism Trapping Asuka) until Yim makes a random comeback on Ripley as the rest are in the other ring.

That’s broken up and it’s Lynch in to complete the field, meaning the match can officially be won. Lynch gets to clean house as the ans aren’t exactly on fire for this. That might be due to how slow everything is going since Lynch keeps messing with the trashcan instead of running around punching people or wrecking them all with a chair.

We get the big Lynch vs. Bayley showdown with Lynch easily getting the better of things. With Bayley stomped down, Lynch turns around to see Ripley for the really big showdown. A quick Riptide attempt is broken up but Bayley makes the save. Now Riptide can connect for two with Asuka making a save. The mist blinds Ripley but Bayley drops Asuka face first onto the turnbuckle.

Bayley beats Lynch down and declares herself as a role model more than The Man. The Rose Plant onto the steel between the rings gets two and it’s time for a bunch of people to go to the corner. Cross cuts Belair off to break up a seven person Tower Of Doom so a bunch of people crash down instead. Sky moonsaults off the top of the cage onto Yim and Belair (who is favoring her leg) to FINALLY wake up the crowd.

Everyone is down (cue the overhead camera shot) until Cross beats up Bliss. Cross shouts about how she hasn’t forgotten and handcuffs Bliss to…nothing as Bliss handcuffs herself to Cross instead. An electric chair onto a trashcan leaves them both down and we pause again. Ripley is back up to send Asuka into the cage but Yim is back up with a choke.

That means a big crash through the ladder and, say it with me, everyone is down again. Becky and Belair get the showdown Damage CTRL and Kai gets Manhandle Slammed. The KOD to Sky lets Belair put Kai on a table and send Bayley into the cage. Lynch drops a leg off the cage to put Kai through the table for the pin at 39:34.

Rating: C. Sweet goodness this was boring. As is the case with just about every modern incarnation of this match (in WWE, NXT or AEW) it went WAY too long as this was about 15-20 minutes longer than it needed to be. The longer time meant that there were far too many stretches where nothing went on as they were laying around waiting on someone to do something. There were good parts to it, but this needed to be WAY shorter with a lot more action than we got.

On Smackdown, with a hidden Jey Uso listening, Kevin Owens told Sami Zayn to turn on the Bloodline. With Owens gone, Jey asked if Sami had talked to anyone but Sami said he just got here. Then Sami cost Jey a match for the WarGames advantage, with commentary wondering if it was on purpose.

Roman Reigns makes sure Jey Uso is ready for WarGames. Jey is ready, but he doesn’t trust Sami after last night. He would take Sami out if Reigns gave the order, but Reigns tells him to be on the same page tonight. Reigns will know if Sami is telling the truth and wants Jey to focus. With Jey gone, Reigns looks worried and has Paul Heyman call Sami.

We recap Finn Balor vs. AJ Styles, which has been going on for a few months. Styles couldn’t deal with the Judgment Day’s numbers game, so he brought back the OC to even things up.

Finn Balor vs. AJ Styles

The rest of Judgment Day (minus Rhea Ripley) and the OC are here too. Of note: Cole talks about Dominik and Ripley invading Rey Mysterio’s home during Thanksgiving. Dominik better watch that or he’ll get arrested. They fight over arm control to start with Styles driving him up against the ropes for a clean break.

Back up and Balor takes him into the corner but his kick to the ribs is cut off. Styles starts going after the leg, including a shinbreaker which has Balor appealing to their past friendship. Balor manages to take him down though and stomp away, though he has to stop to favor the leg. A knee to the back gets two and we hit the abdominal stretch. Styles fights his way out and hits the running forearm, followed by the fireman’s carry backbreaker for two.

Another shot to the leg cuts Balor down but Dominik breaks up the Phenomenal Forearm. Everyone else brawls on the floor and fight into the crowd, leaving Balor to hit a Sling Blade on Styles. A charge is cut off though and Styles suplexes him into the corner. It’s too early for the Calf Crusher though as Balor manages a double stomp to leave Styles down. Balor’s back is all messed up from….something but he’s fine enough to try his own Styles Clash. That’s broken up, just like Styles’ Calf Crusher attempt.

Another double knockdown gives us a breather, followed by Balor’s own fireman’s carry backbreaker. 1916 is broken up though and Styles moonsaults into a Nightmare on Helms Street for two. Balor puts him back down but misses the Coup de Grace. Instead Styles grabs the Calf Crusher until Balor rams him head first into the mat to escape. Back up and they slug it out until Styles is sent to the apron, where the Phenomenal Forearm finishes Balor at 18:23.

Rating: B. There are matches where you know you’re going to see something good just based on who is out there. That was the case here and WWE was smart enough to give the two of them that much time. Styles hadn’t been doing so well in his battle against Judgment Day and you have to give him a win like this every so often to keep him looking strong. Good stuff here and a heck of a match between two talented stars.

Post match Styles yells at Balor a bit.

We recap Shotzi challenging Ronda Rousey for the SmackDown Women’s Title. Shotzi won a six way #1 contenders match but Rousey isn’t taking her incredibly seriously, though having Shayna Baszler help with a beatdown made it easier. Rousey and Baszler also injured Shotzi’s friend Raquel Rodriguez so things are personal.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Ronda Rousey vs. Shotzi

Rousey, with Baszler, is defending. Shotzi slugs away to start but gets flipped over. The ankle lock goes on until Shotzi sends her into the corner. Rousey is sent outside but Baszler takes Shotzi’s dive instead. Shotzi sends her into the steps and fires off some hard forearms back inside. A high crossbody is suplexed out of the air but Shotzi sweeps the leg. That doesn’t work for Rousey, who ties up the legs and they kind of lay around on the mat.

Back up and Shotzi nails a right hand to stun Rousey but gets sent outside. Shotzi takes out Baszler and sends her over the barricade, setting up a dive onto Rousey and Baszler at the same time. They beat the count back in and Shotzi goes up, only to get judo thrown down hard. Piper’s Pit and the armbar retain the title at 7:13.

Rating: C+. They were limited with what they could do here, as it’s hard to buy Shotzi as a threat to either the title or Rousey. Shotzi has all kinds of charisma but she hasn’t been presented as a major star, certainly not on Rousey’s level. For what we got here, things went well, though that was about as good as it was going to be.

Sami Zayn comes in to see Roman Reigns and admits that yes, he did talk to Kevin Owens. He didn’t tell Jey Uso about it because he didn’t want to put something extra on Jey’s plate before the WarGames advantage match. And Owens talked to him, saying he should turn on the Bloodline. Reigns gets that Owens and Zayn were friends but this is about his family, so whose side is Zayn on? Zayn says this is what he wants and he’s not turning on the Bloodline. That seems good enough for Reigns.

US Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Austin Theory vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is defending. Lashley runs Theory over to start and Rollins sends Theory outside, leaving the other two to slug it out. Rollins slips away from a Hurt Lock attempt but Theory pulls Rollins outside for a ram into the barricade. Back in and Theory hammers away on Lashley, who fights up to beat on both of them. A DDT/Downward Spiral combination drops Rollins and Theory and the spinning Dominator hits Rollins as well.

Theory pulls the referee though and tries to grab a chair, which is easily blocked by Lashley. Rollins sends him into the steps though, allowing Theory to jump Rollins from behind. The steps hit Lashley as well and the rolling dropkick gets two on Rollins. A running elbow to the face gets the same and Theory talks a lot of trash. Rollins is back up with a Sling Blade, followed by a bunch of suicide dives to the other two.

That’s not enough as Rollins hits a big dive to take them both out again. Back in and Theory counters a dropkick into a powerbomb for two on Rollins and everyone is down. It’s Lashley up first to take over, meaning Theory uses a sleeper to…well attempt to break up the Hurt Lock. The save eventually works, leaving Rollins to Pedigree Lashley for two. The Phoenix splash misses though and Theory gives Lashley a running Blockbuster.

A Town Down is countered into the Hurt Lock but Theory flips backwards out of the corner. That’s broken up by Rollins’ frog splash so Lashley Hurt Locks both of them at once. With that broken up, Lashley’s spear misses in the corner so Rollins forearms Theory in the back of the head. Rollins uses Theory for a step up Stomp to Lashley and superplexes Theory. The Falcon Arrow is loaded up but Lashley spears Rollins, with Theory landing on him for the pin and the title at 14:50.

Rating: B. This got a good bit better by the end but it was only working so well for the most part. It needed to be about three minutes shorter to really work well. The whole feud was only so good in the first place and then the blowoff match, while good, hit a ceiling. Theory getting the win is nice to see, even if he had to steal the pin for the title.

Jey Uso tells Roman Reigns that he’s ready.

We recap the men’s WarGames match. Everyone hates the Bloodline, who isn’t sure if they can trust Sami Zayn. Now it’s time to see if he can prove himself.

Bloodline vs. Team Owens

Bloodline: Roman Reigns, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Solo Sikoa, Sami Zayn
Owens: Kevin Owens, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Ridge Holland, Butch

Butch and Jey start things off and they shout at each other from different rings for a good while. Jey finally gets into the other ring after about a minute of standing around. Butch takes him down without much trouble and cranks on the fingers (as he is known to do), which he then ties into the cage wall. Back up and Jey manages to send him into the cage, followed by a pop up neckbreaker.

Jey goes after the arm and sends it into the cage, only to have Butch stomp on the arm again. Butch gets in something close to a Kimura and it’s Ridge Holland in to give the good guys an advantage. Holland crushes Jey in the corner over and over and a high/low takes him down again. The Brutes start in on Jey’s arms for a bit of a unique strategy, including stereo jumping stomps to said arms. The clock runs down and a sitting Reigns instructs Sami to even things up.

Sami takes more than a minute to get to the ring, allowing Jey to get up and take over on the Brutes. Holland gets stomped between the rings and the fans seem to approve of Zayn. Double teaming cuts off Holland’s comeback but Butch gets up the cage to moonsault onto Jey and Zayn. Now Holland is able to fight up and actually take over until he misses a charge into the cage (thanks to Zayn pulling Jey out of the way).

Drew McIntyre is in next and beats up both villains without much trouble. Jey is sent into the cage over and over before a belly to belly sends Zayn into the corner. Drew: “I’M FEELING PRETTY UCEY RIGHT NOW!” Jey manages to knock Drew into the Tree of Woe but he sits up to send Jey crashing back down. There’s the Futureshock to Zayn but Jimmy Uso comes in to tie it up. That means it’s time for some tables, though Jey doesn’t want Zayn to help set them up.

Jimmy has to break it up as even more time is burned off. The Brutes are beaten down again though, with Butch being sent into the cage so a table can be set up in the corner. McIntyre fights up and avoids being sent through it as Kevin Owens unties things again. Owens brings in some chairs and plants Jimmy onto one, setting up the Cannonball to Jey. A chair is thrown at Jey and we get the Owens vs. Zayn staredown.

Holland, continuing to be useless, breaks it up by jumping Zayn, allowing Jimmy to deck Owens. Jimmy is put through a table though as Cole can’t remember who has the advantage at the moment. Solo Sikoa makes it 4-4 and gets to clean house, as tends to be the villains’ custom. The Samoan drop hits Holland and it’s an Owens vs. Sikoa staredown. They slug it out between the rings until Sikoa shrugs off a ram into the cage.

Some superkicks have the same lack of effect and Sikoa backdrops his way out of a powerbomb attempt. Sikoa goes over to slug it out with McIntyre with Sikoa getting the better of things, only to have the Umaga attack cut off. Sheamus completes Team Owens but Zayn holds the door shut in a smart move. Not that it matters as Sheamus slams it onto Zayn’s head and starts to clean house.

A double clothesline takes down some villains as Reigns is getting ready. Zayn is sent into the cage and the Brutes go after Zayn and the Usos for the big beatdown. White Noise hits Sikoa but it’s Reigns time so the match can officially begin. Naturally this means everyone gets up and we get the five on five staredown, making the last 28 minutes or so pretty much a formality. The fight is on and Reigns cleans house without much effort.

Sheamus cuts off a spear though and we get the quintuple ten (or more in some cases) forearms to the villains’ chests. McIntyre and Sheamus beat on Reigns and the Brogue Kick hits Sikoa. The distraction lets Reigns spear Sheamus but Butch makes the save. Zayn is back up to beat on Butch but Jey superkicks Zayn, presumably by mistake. A super 1D hits Butch for two with Holland making the save this time. Reigns spears Holland through the table in the corner but McIntyre is back up.

Sikoa saves Reigns from a powerbomb and Spinning Solo puts McIntyre through a table. Owens Stuns Sikoa for two so Reigns makes the save for a change. Reigns and Owens slug it out with Reigns hitting a Superman Punch. Owens is back with a Pop Up Powerbomb into the Stunner but Zayn grabs the referee at two. That leaves Owens staring at Zayn (who the fans like) but a superkick is cut off by a low blow. Zayn seems to know he has sealed his fate and Reigns looks up at him, leaving Zayn to Helluva Kick Owens. Jey adds the Superfly Splash for the pin at 38:32.

Rating: B. It’s good fight and as usual this was about the storytelling with Zayn and the Bloodline, but the same problems were there again. There is just SO MUCH waiting around for the match to really get going and it doesn’t feel like hatred. Instead, it feels like “how can we get these weapons spots in” rather than just beating each other up. Cut the match down by about fifteen minutes and it’s much better, but for now it’s just good rather than great.

Zayn is officially accepted into the team, with Jey giving him the big hug. Replays and posing end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. There were some good parts, but WarGames continues to be more of an idea that sounds great on paper rather than in execution. Two matches took about an hour and forty minutes and that does not leave much for the rest of the show. What we got was good and having Zayn get the big definitive Bloodline acceptance (which will absolutely last forever) was nice, but dang it took time to get there. I know Survivor Series has evolved beyond the traditional elimination tag format, but it would be nice to have this new format tweaked a bit, as it could make the show that much better.

 

 

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Summerslam Count-Up – 2023 (2024 Edition): When Reigns Missed

Summerslam 2023
Date: August 5, 2023
Location: Ford Field, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 51,477
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

We’re in another stadium and that means the show is going to feel big. In this case we have several major matches on the card, starting with Tribal Combat as Roman Reigns defends the WWE Universal Title, as well as being Tribal Chief, against Jey Uso. Other than that, we have Cody Rhodes vs. Brock Lesnar III and Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor for the Raw World Title. Let’s get to it.

Since the show is in Detroit, the opening video has a car theme and an intro by Kid Rock, because of course it does. It talks about knowing where you’re going and looks at some classic clips before moving into the look at this year’s show.

And again, for reasons I still cannot fathom, the show’s theme song is Born To Be Wild by Steppenwolf. As in the song released in 1968.

Logan Paul vs. Ricochet

This is a battle over trying to go viral. They yell at each other to start and Paul is knocked to the floor where he covers up from a dive that never comes. Back in and Ricochet rolls through a sunset lip attempt but gets elbowed in the face to cut him off. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Ricochet fights up, only to get caught in the ropes. A neckbreaker onto the apron puts Ricochet down and Paul hammers away in the corner to keep him in trouble.

With a quick mock of the injured Braun Strowman, Paul hits a running powerslam for two and soaks in some booing. A big boot and legdrop (the Hogan Paul) connect for Paul but Ricochet is back with a spinebuster into the People’s Moonsault for two. Back up and one heck of a backdrop leaves Ricochet crashing down and Paul is back up with a springboard clothesline.

They go to the apron, with Ricochet having to stick the landing on a Spanish Fly before knocking Paul down for a breather. Paul is back up with a Buckshot Lariat to the floor (geez) and naturally a quick shot of Prime. Back in and a standing moonsault gives Paul two as Ricochet is starting to get overwhelmed. Paul misses a charge into the post so they both go up top (the fans get up too) and a super neckbreaker brings Paul crashing back down.

A springboard clothesline into the standing shooting star press gets two on Paul and we slow down a bit. Back up and Paul’s middle rope moonsault is caught but he spins into a tornado DDT for the big crash anyway. Ricochet is back up with the Recoil but the shooting star press only hits raised knees. One heck of a springboard frog splash gives Paul two, only to have Ricochet kick him in the face. A top rope Lionsault gets two but the 630 misses and cue one of Paul’s lackeys to give Paul brass knuckles. The big right hand gives Paul the win at 17:56.

Rating: B+. There is a concept of just letting it all hang out and do one big spot after another and it went well here. This was a blast of a match and they didn’t try to do anything but one big move after another. Paul gets a win on the big stage and that is what he has been lacking for a long time now. Really fun match here and they’ll likely get the highlights they were shooting for with this one.

Samantha Irvin, Ricochet’s fiance, is livid.

Sheamus and the Brawling Brutes mess with a monster truck.

We recap Cody Rhodes vs. Brock Lesnar, which started the night after Wrestlemania. Lesnar attacked him, presumably for not beating Roman Reigns, but Cody won the first match. Then Lesnar beat him back (and broke his hand), so it’s rubber match time.

Brock Lesnar vs. Cody Rhodes

Lesnar German suplexes him to start but Rhodes is right back with a pair of Disaster Kicks. A third is knocked out of the air though and Lesnar powers him hard into the corner. Lesnar’s charge only hits post and the fight heads outside as they’re certainly starting fast. Back in and Lesnar suplexes him a few more times as we’re getting firmly into Lesnar’s standard style. Rhodes is sent outside but beats the count, with Lesnar just shaking his head. Lesnar: “THIS IS ONLY GOING TO GET WORSE!”

Rhodes gets knocked to the floor a few more times as we’re in quite a bit of a stall. An F5 on the floor plants Rhodes again and Lesnar tells Michael Cole to tell Rhodes to take the countout. Somehow Rhodes beat the count and gives him a BRING IT look, earning himself another suplex. Another F5 through the announcers’ table has Cole begging Rhodes to stay down. Rhodes dives back in again and Lesnar is really displeased. They go back to the floor where Rhodes grabs the steps, which are kicked away.

Instead Rhodes manages a posting and NOW the steps can rock Lesnar again. The Disaster Kick into the Cody Cutter into a top rope Cody Cutter gets two and Rhodes is kind of stunned. The Kimura goes on but Rhodes makes it over to the ropes for the break. Back up and Rhodes sends him into an exposed buckle, setting up a Kimura on Lesnar. As you might expect, Lesnar powers him up and down for the break but an F5 is countered into the Cross Rhodes. Two more Cross Rhodes finish for Rhodes at 17:30.

Rating: B. They started losing me a bit during the teased countout spot but then it got going again with Rhodes hanging in there until Lesnar just couldn’t beat him. This is the way to give someone the Lesnar rub as Rhodes not only hung in there but wound up winning, which is a heck of a lot more than some can say. Good stuff here, with Rhodes getting the important win to finish the feud.

Post match Lesnar gets up and shows respect. The gloves come off and Lesnar leaves in peace.

Slim Jim Battle Royal

Erik, Ivar, JD McDonagh, Rick Boogs, Otis, Chad Gable, Ludwig Kaiser, Giovanni Vinci, Ridge Holland, Butch, Sheamus, Riddle, Grayson Waller, Shinsuke Nakamura, Bronson Reed, Tommaso Ciampa, Apollo Crews, LA Knight, Santos Escobar, AJ Styles, The Miz, Austin Theory, Karrion Kross, Cameron Grimes, Omos

We get a brief history of battle royals (including Royal Rumbles, which aren’t exactly the same thing) before the bell rings and….holds on as here is MVP to introduce Omos as the guaranteed winner. The fight is on before Omos gets in but he’s right in there to get rid of Crews, McDonagh and Boogs. A bunch of people go after Omos but he fights them off and knocks Sheamus silly.

Imperium gets rid of Otis but Gable throws Vinci out and gets to pose a bit. Ciampa breaks up the Viking Raiders’ springboard clothesline and gets rid of both of them. Willow’s Bell gets rid of Nakamura in a heck of a quick sequence. Not that it matters as Reed gets rid of Ciampa and Theory knocks out Holland. Grimes is out as the ring is getting cleared rather quickly. Escobar eliminates Theory but gets kicked out by Kross. Kaiser gets too cocky (shocking I know) in thinking he got rid of Gable, who tosses Kaiser instead.

Omos tosses Riddle and Butch at the same time and then knocks down (not out) a bunch of people at once. Knight starts going after Omos and a bunch of people join him, with the big group managing the elimination. Waller and Miz get together (Graves approves) but can’t get rid of either Gable or Knight. Instead Knight throws Miz out and Sheamus gets rid of Waller. Reed runs Sheamus and Knight over, leaving Styles to kick Kross out.

We’re down to Knight, Reed, Gable, Styles and Sheamus, with Reed backdropping Gable out. Knight muscles Reed out so it’s Sheamus taking over on Knight and Styles. Cue Kross to grab Styles’ leg so Sheamus can kick him out and get us down to two. Knight drops Sheamus and hits the LA Elbow but Sheamus is back up with the jumping knee. Sheamus goes up top but Knight jumps the corner for a superplex. A clothesline gets rid of Sheamus to give Knight the win at 12:46.

Rating: C+. It was a pretty run of the mill battle royal but what mattered was getting Knight a win on the big stage. Knight looked fine out there and got the win, despite not really being a focal point until the last few entrants. It wasn’t a particularly great match, but there is only so much you can get out of this kind of a battle royal in the first place.

And now, a Slim Jim ad featuring LA Knight. Geez good thing Butch didn’t win or that would have been awkward.

We recap Ronda Rousey vs. Shayna Baszler. They were friends, they were partners, then they weren’t friends or partners and now they’re fighting. This also goes back to their time in MMA, with Baszler apparently being jealous of Rousey’s success and Rousey not being very gracious.

Ronda Rousey vs. Shayna Baszler

This is under MMA rules, meaning no pinfalls, countouts, DQ’s or rope breaks. You win by submission or knockout, all of which are explained for the first time by the referee. Rousey breaks tradition by offering to touch gloves but Baszler isn’t up for it. Instead they grapple up against the ropes until Rousey slams her down. Some shots to Baszler’s back look to set up a cross armbreaker but Rousey can’t get it on, meaning it’s another standoff.

Back up and Baszler DROPS HER with a kick, sending Rousey outside. Baszler grabs a leglock back inside but Rousey slips out and hits a hard jumping knee. A knee to the ribs takes Baszler down again and Rousey hammers away at her back. Rousey headscissor chokes her and they fall over the top to the floor in a big crash.

Rousey gets back in and Baszler needs to be checked out by the medics. That doesn’t work for Rousey, who beats up the medics but Baszler suplexes her down. A Kirifuda Clutch is broken up and Rousey goes for the armbar, with Baszler reversing into an ankle lock. Baszler pulls her up into the Kirifuda Clutch and Rousey is out at 7:28.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what to make of this as it was barely wrestling and more a martial arts match, as advertised. What mattered the most here was Rousey giving Baszler a win on her way out of WWE. It was pretty clear that Rousey’s time in WWE was over and this is a good way for her to go out. Now if only WWE ever did anything with Baszler other than put her in another tag team.

Tonight’s attendance: 59,194.

We recap Drew McIntyre vs. Gunther for the latter’s Intercontinental Title. Gunther is this close to setting the all time record for longest Intercontinental Title reign of all time, while McIntyre is back after a long hiatus and wants to prove he’s still got it. Hoss fighting is set to ensue.

Intercontinental Title: Drew McIntyre vs. Gunther

Gunther is defending. They stare at each other to start and eventually lock up to fight over the power game. A shoulder puts Gunther down and the slow pace continues. Gunther’s headlock takeover puts them on the mat as commentary runs down Gunther’s resume. Back up and McIntyre hits the Glasgow Kiss to send Gunther outside, where he is fine enough to post McIntyre and send him into the steps.

Back in and Gunther chops him down a few times but McIntyre is back up for the slugout. Gunther’s release German suplex doesn’t do much to McIntyre, who is right back up with a clothesline for the double knockdown. The chop each other down so McIntyre nips up, only to get dropkicked into the corner. McIntyre is right back with the Futureshock for two but the threat of the Claymore sends Gunther outside.

That means a big running flip dive from McIntyre but another Claymore attempt is cut off with a dropkick. The powerbomb gives Gunther two and they’re both down again. Gunther is up first with a top rope splash for two and frustration is setting in. With nothing else working, Gunther starts slapping him in the back of the head over and over with some shouting thrown in.

McIntyre fights up and hits a Claymore for two, meaning it’s time for McIntyre’s eyes to bug out. Gunther is sat up top for a hard chop and they strike it out up there. McIntyre gets crotched back down though and the top rope splash into the powerbomb retains the title at 13:42.

Rating: B. It was a good, hard hitting match that you would expect from these two but they didn’t have as much time as you would have expected. At the same time, they were being asked to live up to the expectations from the Wrestlemania three way with Sheamus, which just wasn’t likely to be topped. Gunther getting another big win makes him feel that much bigger though, as the legend continues to grow.

We recap Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins for the World Heavyweight Title. Rollins beat Balor to win the inaugural title at Money In The Bank and now we’re running it back as Balor is still obsessed with beating Rollins, despite doing it before and having many chances to do it over the last seven years. Damian Priest and his Money In The Bank briefcase are looming as well.

Raw World Title: Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor

Rollins is defending and wears the same vest that he wore when he hurt Balor at Summerslam 2016. Balor jumps him from behind to start but Rollins fights back before the bell. The bell rings and they slug it out with Rollins elbowing him in the face to take over. Some chops and a running forearm in the corner have Balor in more trouble but he slips out of a suplex. There’s a stomp to Rollins’ chest and Balor hammers away. Balor starts in on the arm, just like Rollins hurt him seven years ago (in a freak accident rather than targeting it but revenge can make people’s memories hazy).

The armbar goes on for a bit before Balor switches back to more general cranking. Rollins fights up but gets Russian legswept right back into a Fujiwara armbar. That’s broken up and Rollins hits a much needed clothesline for a breather. The Falcon Arrow gives Rollins two and Balor is sent outside for three straight suicide dives. Balor is back up to catch Rollins on the apron and send the bad arm into the post.

We get the big flashback with the running toss powerbomb into the barricade and Rollins is rocked. Back in and the Sling Blade hits Rollins, who is right back with a superkick. Balor shrugs it off and plants him down for one, setting up a cross armbreaker. That’s broken up as well and Rollins hits a pair of buckle bombs into the great looking frog splash for two. Balor gets in a shot and goes up, where Rollins superplexes him down and rolls into the Falcon Arrow, only to have Balor reverse into a small package for two.

The shotgun dropkick sends Rollins into the corner (where he hits his shoulder again) but the Coup de Grace misses. Rollins’ Pedigree connects for two….and here is Damian Priest with the Money In The Bank briefcase (his music isn’t playing though so it isn’t a cash-in). Balor hits his own Pedigree for two and Priest is stunned.

That’s enough for Priest to offer a distraction so cue Judgment Day but Balor yells at Priest, saying they’re not changing the plan. The distraction lets Rollins hit the Stomp for two and we hit the big shocked faced. Rollins dives onto Priest and the distraction lets Balor shotgun dropkick him into the corner so the Coup de Grace can get two. Priest throws in the briefcase but Rollins hits a quick Stomp onto it to retain the title at 18:27.

Rating: B. This was the kind of match that they needed to have to make Rollins feel more like a champion. That being said, there was a bit too much going on with all of the interference and the tease of the cash-in/interference. What matters is Rollins won though, which had to be the case as he was only about a month into the inaugural title reign. They had a good match here though and it felt like it belonged on a show this big.

The Alpha Academy preview the rest of the show and promote Mike’s Hard Lemonade. Miz comes in and gets annoyed at being the only real Mike in the room. Maxxine Dupri throws him out and calls him Mark.

We recap Asuka defending the Smackdown Women’s Title against Bianca Belair and Charlotte. Belair had the title won but Damage CTRL interfered, causing Charlotte to accidentally take Belair out. The triple threat match was made as a result.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Asuka vs. Bianca Belair vs. Charlotte

Asuka is defending and they start fairly slowly. Asuka’s rollup to Belair is broken up with a big boot from Charlotte as the fans are oddly quiet here. Charlotte suplexes Asuka down and kicks Belair in the face, only to be pulled outside by Asuka. Belair hits a dive onto both of them but gets kicked by Asuka on the way back in. A pop up knee to the face gets two on Belair with Charlotte making the save this time.

That earns Charlotte a knockdown of her own and Asuka, in the clown paint, gets in an evil smile. Charlotte is sent outside, leaving Asuka to small package Belair for two. They’re certainly not in high gear yet but things are at least starting to pick up. Charlotte dives onto both of them to break up a Glam Slam and it’s time to chop away. With Asuka and Belair in trouble in the corner….we pause for the referee to fix Charlotte’s gear.

Thankfully Asuka is smart enough to choke Belair until Charlotte can clothesline them both for two. Back up and Charlotte kicks Belair down but gets caught by Asuka’s running knees for two more, leaving everyone down. They all strike it out until Asuka grabs Belair’s hair to send her outside. Belair is back up with a neckbreaker to Asuka and right hands to Charlotte in the corner.

A spinebuster sends Charlotte onto Asuka but the handspring moonsault hits raised knees. Charlotte spears Belair but gets pulled into the Asuka Lock. Now the handspring moonsault can connect to break it up and everyone is down again. Back up and Charlotte sends them to the floor for the moonsault which….egads I don’t think she actually touched either of them (she might have grazed Belair but Asuka was nowhere near the impact).

With the crowd silent after that miss, Asuka takes Charlotte back in for a DDT but she has to fight out of a KOD attempt. Charlotte kicks Asuka to the floor and flips out of a KOD, only to get caught in an overhead German suplex. Charlotte has to break up the Asuka Lock on Belair and moonsaults onto both of them for two. For some reason Charlotte tries a figure Four on both of them at once, which doesn’t work as Belair kicks her off. Belair is sent outside and lands knee first on the steps in a SCARY crash.

That leaves Charlotte to go up but Asuka pulls her back down with a superplex. Charlotte is right back with a shot of her own and the Figure Eight goes on. Belair is back in with a 450 to break it up or two but Charlotte is able to send Asuka outside. The Figure Eight goes on Belair, only for Asuka to come in and break it up with the mist. With her legs still tied up, Belair small packages Asuka to win the title at 20:47.

Rating: B. This was a good match that took a while to get started. It wound up being more about Charlotte dominating and the other two having to take her down, which is something that has been done more than a few times. That being said, Belair felt like a star here and it’s all the more impressive to see her becoming a star on the highest level in the division. Belair winning the title is a bit of a surprise as she had already had the big, long title reign but it’s more interesting than Charlotte getting the title again. Asuka had a nice reign and can easily get the title back later if necessary.

And here’s Iyo Sky to hit Sky in the knee with the Money In The Bank briefcase.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Iyo Sky vs. Bianca Belair

Belair is defending and Over The Moonsault gives Sky the pin and the title at 7 seconds. Eh it gets rid of the briefcase so I’ll take it.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Jey Uso in Tribal Combat for the WWE Title and the role as Head Of The Table. Reigns has been a monster and run the lives of the Usos, with Jey finally rebelling and Jimmy coming with him. Jey pinned Reigns at Money In The Bank, setting up his chance here to end Reigns once and for all. Reigns and Solo Sikoa put Jimmy in the hospital, leaving Jey all alone here. This is the VERY long term drama and there was even a feeling that Jey might kind of sort of maybe have a chance, which was so hard to fathom no matter who you are.

Smackdown World Title: Jey Uso vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns, with Paul Heyman, is defending (the title and the position) in Tribal Combat, meaning a street fight. Before the bell, reigns offers Jey the lei, saying he’ll give this to Jey if Jey can beat him. They circle each other to start and Reigns easily powers him back into the corner. A running shoulder puts Uso down (same sequence that started Gunther vs. McIntyre) and Reigns runs him over again to prove his point. Reigns knees him in the face as this is one sided and rather slow paced to start.

Jey is back with a kick to the ribs and a clothesline to the floor, setting up the required dive. The steps are set up at ringside but that’s not enough so let’s have a table out there too. The long delay and a Heyman distraction lets Reigns send him face first into the table and then into the corner as well. Jey manages a quick jumping enziguri to send Reigns outside again, where he finds a kendo stick. Some hard shots have Jey in trouble again but he slugs his way out of trouble.

Reigns clotheslines him down in the corner as Graves gets in the “your arms are too short to box with God” CM Punk line. Jey fights back and gets in his own kendo stick shots to send Reigns up the aisle as this is going rather slowly. Back in and Jey tries something off the top, only to get Superman Punched out of the air for two. Jey is back up with a superkick into the Superfly Splash for two and they’re down again.

A bunch of chairs are thrown in but Jey takes too long setting up a superkick and gets powerbombed down onto the chairs for two. Reigns takes forever to set a table up but Jey fights back, only to get punched out of the air. The spear is cut off with an enziguri and Jey Samoan drops him from the apron through the table. Rather than cover though, Jey whips out a leather strap and starts whipping away. They brawl out into the crowd, where Solo Sikoa pops up for Spinning Solo through a table.

Sikoa drags him back to he ring for another Spinning Solo but Jey pulls Sikoa in the way of a spear. Jey’s spear hits Reigns for two and he grabs a chair to clean house. That takes too long too (yes, in this match), allowing Sikoa to get in a shot of his own. Reigns and Sikoa stop to talk strategy, which lets Jey spear Reigns through the barricade.

Jey Superfly Splashes Sikoa through the announcers’ table and hits another spear on Reigns back inside. The Superfly Splash connects but someone in a hoodie (clearly Jimmy Uso) breaks up the cover. Yes it’s Jimmy, who gets yelled at by the fans before, eventually, superkicking Jey. Reigns hits the spear through a table in the corner to retain at 36:03.

Rating: D+. It’s never a good sign when you can probably cut off more than half of the match and tell the same story. This was one of the least interesting main events I’ve seen in a long time as it was hard enough to buy Jey as having a chance in the first place, but then they make it this boring. Just WAY too much time spent laying around with nothing going on and it sucked the life out of the match.

The usual Bloodline celebration ensues.

Highlight package.

Overall Rating: B-. This show started really well and had some very high points but the main event dragged it WAY down with a stretch in the middle that really didn’t work. If you cut out about half an hour total, it’s that much better, but this show’s very good moments were dragged back down by the weaker stuff. It’s far from an awful show, but this was really rough at times and it could have been a lot better.

 

Ratings Comparison

Logan Paul vs. Ricochet

Original: B
Redo: B+

Cody Rhodes vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: B
Redo: B

Battle Royal

Original: B-
Redo: C+

Ronda Rousey vs. Shayna Baszler

Original: D+
Redo: C

Drew McIntyre vs. Gunther

Original: B
Redo: B

Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor

Original: B+
Redo: B

Bianca Belair vs. Charlotte vs. Asuka

Original: C-
Redo: B

Iyo Sky vs. Bianca Belair

Original: N/A
Redo: N/A

Jey Uso vs. Roman Reigns

Original: C+
Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B
Redo: B-

There are a lot of similarities in there but I’m not sure what I was thinking on the triple threat and the main event the first time around.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2020 (2021 Redo): I Still Didn’t See It Coming

Summerslam 2020
Date: August 23, 2020
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe

We’re a year removed from this show and things have indeed changed a bit. For one thing, we are FINALLY out of the Thunderdome, which was a full two days old when this aired. In something that hasn’t changed, I have no idea what happened at this show, save for the main event. That’s kind of nice for another look so let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: US Title: Apollo Crews vs. MVP

Crews is defending and it’s strange to see him as just a guy in trunks and not….whatever he would become next year. As a bonus, the rest of the Hurt Business is banned from ringside. MVP takes him down into a very quickly broken knee bar but Crews is back up with a sunset flip for two. That’s enough for MVP to bail to the floor as things cool down a bit. Back in and Crews flips away from him, setting up a quick dropkick for two. MVP is fine enough to toss him over the top and out onto the steps as the beating begins.

The running boot misses in the corner so Crews goes up, only to get crotched on top. The superplex brings Crews back down but MVP lands hard and the delayed cover gets two. A clothesline puts MVP on the floor and there’s the big flip dive to take him down again. They both dive back in to beat the count and it’s time to slug it out. Crews gets the better of things and it’s a spinebuster into the standing moonsault for two. The toss powerbomb retains the title at 6:37.

Rating: C. This was about as Kickoff Showey of a match as you could get and it happened to have a title on the line. There was nothing wrong with it and Crews gets a win to make him feel that much more important as US Champion. You’re only going to get so much out of a standard Raw level match and this was about it. Not bad, but as forgettable as any other Kickoff Show match.

The opening video is much more about the Thunderdome than anything else, though the matches themselves do actually get some attention. Well the bigger ones at least. The Smackdown World Title match between the Fiend and Braun Strowman has a tagline of “You’ll Never See It Coming”. That’s one way of advertising things.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Asuka

Bayley is defending as part of the Bayley/Sasha Banks Are The Most Amazing Women Ever stretch. Granted it wound up being pretty awesome so it’s kind of hard to complain all that much. Banks (the Raw Women’s Champion and Bayley’s partner as the Women’s Tag Team Champions) is at ringside too as they fight over the grappling against the ropes to start. Asuka dropkicks her in the ribs to take over and pulls Bayley down into a reverse Koji Clutch.

The foot on the rope gets Bayley out of trouble in a hurry so she bails to the apron, allowing Asuka to kick the leg out again. There is something fun about watching Asuka pick someone apart like that and it always works. Bayley gets kicked out to the floor and Banks is already looking worried. Asuka grabs a DDT (or close enough) off the steps for two back inside but Bayley manages to snap her neck across the middle rope for a much needed breather.

Some stomping sets up the chinlock with Bayley shouting a lot as she keeps Asuka down. Back up and a quick Bayley to Belly gets two but Asuka kicks her in the head for a double knockdown. A German suplex into the hip attack gives Asuka two and they head to the apron for the slugout.

That doesn’t last long so they head back inside for an exchange of leglocks. Asuka knees her in the face for two but Bayley is right back with a running sunset flip into the corner. The “patented” (I want paperwork) top rope elbow is countered into a quickly broken cross armbreaker so Asuka is back with a kick to the head. Banks takes the running hip attack though, allowing Bayley to grab a rollup to retain at 11:33.

Rating: B-. Good and logical choice for an opener here with Asuka fighting as hard as she could to pick up the first title. That didn’t wind up working out, but they did a nice job of going back and forth against each other. What mattered here was having Asuka seem ready to pick up the win until Banks’ interference was enough to throw her off for a split second. Nice match with the story making perfect sense.

Post match Banks (who faces Asuka later tonight) and Bayley beat Asuka down and leave her laying.

Dominik Mysterio asks Rey Mysterio to let him go out there alone tonight. Rey, realizing how much of a disaster it would be to ask fans to care about Dominik on his own, says no but is finally talked into staying in the back.

Video on Retribution’s path of….well really just annoyance so far, though this period of breaking stuff would be their apex as a team.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Street Profits vs. Angel Garza/Andrade

Garza and Andrade, with Zelina Vega (who recently poisoned Montez Ford), are challenging and Kevin Owens is on commentary. We get the traditional rain of red solo cups to start as the Profits’ inset promo talks about how they are here for revenge. Andrade slugs away at Ford to start but gets caught with a big jumping clothesline. A jumping hurricanrana brings Andrade off the top and there’s the double flapjack to drop Garza.

Ford loads up the big flip dive, but gets countered into a double powerbomb onto the floor (as tends to happen). Back in and we hit the armbar on Ford, allowing Garza to TAKE OFF HIS PANTS (Vega approves). A cross armbreaker over the ropes has Ford in more trouble and it’s back to Andrade for an armbar of his own. Garza adds a running knee to the ribs (and promises to win the titles, which Owens does not like) and the running kick to the ribs makes it worse.

There’s the top rope Alberto Double Stomp for Andrade’s next near fall. Ford flips out of a belly to back suplex though and the enziguri sets up the diving tag to Dawkins. Chris Jericho’s Judas Effect only takes Dawkins off one foot (ha) and he spears Andrade down. Ford comes back in with the crazy high crossbody but Garza rolls through for two, even with Vega holding his feet on the rope. Vega gets on the apron to yell but Ford knocks Garza into her. The Sky Cash Out into the twisting frog splash retains the title at 7:50.

Rating: C. Total Raw match here which was the latest exhibit of how much charisma that Garza has. The guy can make anything look better but Andrade had the star power and that is what gets you ahead around here. This feud, or some form of it, went on for the better part of ever and never once got interesting because the Profits were that much better. Now get some fresh competition in the tag division.

The long form celebration is on.

Bayley and Sasha Banks don’t like Kayla Braxton’s questions but know that Sasha will beat Asuka tonight. Bayley even busts out a broom because it’s going to be a sweep.

We recap Sonya Deville vs. Mandy Rose, which has been going on for a long time. Sonya got jealous of Mandy getting all of the attention and eventually turned on her by calling her selfish. Since it’s WWE, we’re supposed to side with the bombshell model, which was made even worse when Sonya was about five levels ahead of Mandy on the mic. Sonya cut off some of Mandy’s hair so the hair vs. hair match was set.

Then a psychotic fan broke into Deville’s house with zip ties and a knife, likely in an attempt to kidnap and/or kill Deville. Rose happened to be staying there and the two got away as the stalker went into the wrong part of the house. This sent Deville into a lengthy legal process and since her lawyer felt that cutting her hair off was a bad idea, it was turned into a No DQ Loser Leaves WWE match. Fair enough, but next time you have a crazed stalker who might be trying to kill you, make sure you think of kayfabe. Go out separate doors or something and worry about being stabbed later.

Sonya Deville vs. Mandy Rose

No DQ and the loser leaves WWE. Mandy offers a handshake to start so Deville rolls her up for two. Back up and Mandy hits her in the face and they head outside with Deville getting suplexed onto the ramp. A clothesline off the announcers’ table puts Deville down again and let’s get a table. As usual, that takes way too long and it’s Sonya ramming Mandy into the announcers’ table to take over.

Back in and a running knee to the chest gets two and it’s a dragon sleeper with a bodyscissors to put Mandy in even more trouble. The trash talking fires Mandy back up though and it’s a jumping knee for two on Sonya. It’s back outside for more ramming into the announcers’ table before Mandy slides chairs over the regular table, with Sonya having to duck the decapitation attempts. That’s either brilliant or really stupid and I’m not sure which. Back in and three straight running knees set up Angel’s Wings to crush Sonya. Another running knee gives Mandy the pin at 9:49.

Rating: C-. This had the intensity but dang Mandy is not the greatest in the ring. I completely get why WWE would want to push the heck out of here but Sonya was so much more of a complete package and felt like a natural. It’s a shame that she had to go away, though it was a rare instance where something is more important than wrestling (egads that’s hard to say).

Post match Otis comes out to celebrate with Mandy (Yeah remember when that was a thing?), who fails at the Caterpillar.

Here’s what’s coming on the WWE Network!

We recap Seth Rollins vs. Dominik Mysterio. This was part of the never ending Rollins vs. Mysterios feud, which saw Rollins gouge Rey Mysterio’s eye out. Dominik is willing to fight for his father in a street fight, which also happens to be his in-ring debut. Rollins also destroyed Dominik by tying him into the ropes and destroying him with a kendo stick for a pretty nasty moment. Other than that though, this feud was complete death by this point and this was the match that I was dreading coming into the show.

Seth Rollins vs. Dominik Mysterio

Street fight and Rollins, with Murphy, is in gear inspired by Rey Mysterio at Halloween Havoc 1997. Rey is here with Dominik, as you might expect. Rollins wrestles him down without much trouble to start and seems rather comfortable. He’s so comfortable that he offers Dominik a headlock before tripping him down with ease. Dominik gets in a few right hands before getting dropped again. A springboard armdrag and then some regular versions have Rollins down, which is just a step too far.

Rollins drops him again and gets a kendo stick, which is dropkicked out of his hands. Dominik gives chase but gets knocked down, only to have Rollins kick the stick away. The one armed camel clutch has Dominik in more trouble and Rey is nervous. The Sling Blade lets Rollins work on Dominik’s hand and Murphy sends in a chair. Seth yells at Rey a lot as he stomps away but the Stomp (that’s confusing) is countered into a drop toehold into the chair. The Buckle Bomb is countered into a hurricanrana into the corner to stagger Rollins again as this comeback needs a crowd reaction.

A tornado DDT out of the corner gets two and the kendo stick shots have Rollins in more trouble. Dominik goes up but it’s Rollins running the corner for the superplex into the Falcon Arrow for two. Rollins is mad (as he should be) and it’s time to kendo stick Dominik for a change. Murphy throws in a table but Rollins takes too long going up, allowing Dominik to hit a super White Russian legsweep through the table. Since wrestling logic is a thing, Dominik is fine and hits a frog splash for two.

Dominik takes too long grabbing things again, allowing Rollins to superkick and kendo stick him some more. Saxton: “Rey can do nothing to help his son!” As you try to see the invisible wall keeping Rey from doing anything, Rollins pulls out some handcuffs. Cue Rey’s wife Angie to try and do something but Rey holds her back.

Murphy loads up the steps to take out Dominik’s eye, meaning the invisible wall is smashed as Rey finally gets involved (making the last five or so minutes subject to wrestling logic). With Dominik as backup, Rey is quickly cuffed to the ropes as the villains look up at Angie. Dominik is back up to make the save this time….and his frog splash hits knees, because he isn’t very good at this. Rollins tells Rey to reach for Dominik and then hits the Stomp for the pin at 22:36.

Rating: C-. Being away from this story for a year has taken away some of the bad feelings about it, but this still wasn’t very good. Above all else, this was WAY too long as Rollins felt like he was dealing with an annoyance than any real threat. Dominik isn’t an embarrassment in the ring by any means but he also isn’t ready to be in a 20+ minute featured match at Summerslam. He looked ok for a debut, but the length of the match (and the feud) dragged it way down.

The villains sneer post match and Rey hugs Dominik.

Raw Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Asuka

Banks is defending and has Bayley in her corner. Commentary points out that Banks has never had a successful singles title defense, which does not bode well for her future. Banks goes straight for the knee (ala Bayley in the first match) but Asuka spins up and fires off the Kawada kicks. A sliding forearm (minus some power because of the knee) sends Banks outside and Asuka is right there with a kneebar on the floor.

They wind up on the apron, where Asuka kicks the post by mistake. Bayley cranks up the trash talk (because she’s very good at that) and Banks takes her back inside to fire off kicks in the corner. Banks switches to the shoulders but gets caught in an electric chair faceplant. Asuka can’t be trusted with two legs in front of her and Banks has to bail to the ropes to escape the kneebar.

With that broken up, Asuka gets a bit creative by taking her up top for a super DDT. The missile dropkick gives Asuka two but Banks goes after the knee again, setting up the double knees in the corner. They’re both down so Bayley goes into coaching mode….and Asuka immediately grabs the ankle lock. Bayley isn’t good at coaching. The Bank Statement is countered into the Asuka Lock which is countered as well. Bayley’s distraction fails and the Asuka Lock goes on again to make Banks tap for the title at 11:31.

Rating: B-. I liked this one a good bit as Banks and Bayley had a plan to take Asuka out but still couldn’t do it. That’s a nice way to make Asuka look even more impressive while also continuing the build to Banks vs. Bayley. They took their time to get there but Bayley was awesome almost every step of the way. Banks held up her end as well and it was a heck of a match on top of the storytelling.

Post match Banks glares at Bayley, who begs forgiveness.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Drew McIntyre for the Raw World Title. Orton has attacked a variety of legends, which has McIntyre ready to fight back and defend their honor, along with his title. McIntyre talked about how Orton has been protected for years while McIntyre fought every day to get here. They did a nice job with the culture clash here and the video does a good job of making this feel big.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Drew McIntyre

McIntyre is defending and we get a quick inset promo from Shawn Michaels, who wants Orton to get Claymored. Orton bails to the floor to start as the mind games are going strong early on. Back in and Orton begs off again but does hit a few right hands before bailing to the floor for a second time. This time the chase is on but Orton catches McIntyre on the way back in. The RKO attempt is blocked so McIntyre shoulders him down. Another threat of the RKO sends McIntyre bailing outside and you can see a bit of shock.

Back in again and McIntyre unloads in the corner but has to block the RKO for a third time. The ensuing charge sends McIntyre shoulder first into the post and Orton sends him into the barricade to make it worse. A posting sets up a drop onto the announcers’ table and then Orton does the latter again. Orton gets a bit creative by suplexing McIntyre off the table for a delayed one (that kickout at one was a good deal for McIntyre).

The chinlock goes on for a bit, followed by the Orton Stomp and some slow staring at the….uh, screens. McIntyre comes back with a Stunner to the knee in the corner and a spinebuster for the double knockdown. With the knee banged up, McIntyre goes Flair with the Figure Four (nice job given Orton attacking Flair and other legends leading up to this). Orton can’t roll out so he grabs the referee for a distraction and goes to the eye to escape. McIntyre’s eye looks to be cut a bit as they slug it out from their knees. Make that from their feet, with McIntyre having to block the RKO again.

The overhead belly to belly sends Orton flying and McIntyre does it again for a bonus. A top rope shot to the head drops Orton and McIntyre nips up as the adrenaline starts flowing. McIntyre loads up a superplex, gets knocked into the Tree of Woe, and pulls himself up to send Orton flying with the choke superplex as usual. As impressive as that is, commentary shouldn’t be that impressed or surprised, but WWE commentators are seen as stupid for a reason.

The Futureshock gets two but McIntyre misses coming off the top. Orton’s powerslam gets two and he is busted open as well. The hanging DDT is broken up and it’s a Cactus Clothesline to put both of them on the floor. They get back in fast but this time the hanging DDT connects. With nothing else working, Orton loads up the Punt but McIntyre cuts him off. The Claymore misses so Orton tries the RKO again, only to get caught in a backslide of all things to retain the title at 20:34. Commentary shouts about how Orton NEVER SAW IT COMING because they need to hit that tagline.

Rating: B. I liked this one a good bit as they were playing up the story they had established coming in. The idea was that Orton was the seasoned veteran who had learned from the legends and he was cheating every chance he had here. Throw in the RKO as the ultimate weapon (which he never hit, as it is probably being saved for later) and this was a chess match with McIntyre using everything he could while Orton just waited to hit the RKO. I liked what they were doing and the ending worked well. Good match, which shouldn’t be much of a surprise.

Orton looks up at McIntyre from the floor because this isn’t over.

We recap Braun Strowman vs. Bray Wyatt for the Smackdown World Title. These two have been feuding for MONTHS in one bad match after another. Last month, they fought in the swamp (because reasons) and Wyatt made Alexa Bliss appear because Strowman has always wanted her. Strowman doesn’t buy it because he knows the Fiend is going to corrupt her as well. Bliss slapped Strowman a bunch so he teased attacking her but decided to fight the Fiend instead. In other words, this feud was really, really stupid and nothing they were changing made it any better at all.

Smackdown World Title: The Fiend vs. Braun Strowman

Strowman is defending and this is Falls Count Anywhere. Fiend is driven back into the corner to start but comes back with a heck of a clothesline to drop Strowman. They’re already on the floor with Fiend busting out a toolbox. A few shots with said toolbox don’t do much to Strowman, who runs Fiend through the barricade. Strowman chokeslams him onto (not through) the announcers’ table and a steps shot to the face drops Fiend again.

Back in and the powerslam sends Fiend right back to the floor, which doesn’t mean as much as he can get pinned out there as well. Strowman kicks him up the ramp and they fight backstage. Fiend whips him into a few walls and Sister Abigail gets two. They come back into the arena where Strowman is sent into the video screen to bust up some of the color.

The Mandible Claw goes on but Strowman gets up anyway and shoves him into the apron for the break. Back in and another powerslam gets another two on Fiend so Strowman yells a lot. Strowman grabs a box cutter from the toolbox and starts cutting up the mat to expose the wood. That takes WAY too long so Fiend is back up with a Rock Bottom and a pair of Sister Abigails onto the wood for the pin and the titles at 11:58.

Rating: C. The shorter time helped but egads this feud was death and everyone but WWE seemed to know it. You could have seen this title change coming from before Extreme Rules last month, making for a very long and slow build. They kept this the way they should have and the lack of anything involving Bliss helped here. It could have been worse, but you’re only getting so much out of a hoss fight like this one. As long as Strowman isn’t champion any longer though, it’s an upgrade.

Post match Roman Reigns is back (for the first time since March) with the spear to the Fiend and the beating is on. Another spear hits Strowman and Reigns shouts about how they aren’t monsters unless he’s here. Reigns bends a chair over Strowman and spears Fiend down again. He grabs the title, says it has always been his, and calls Fiend a freak in a mask. Cole: “WE NEVER SAW THIS COMING!” Reigns would win the title a week later, as he should have, along with joining Paul Heyman, which was an amazing twist.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a bit of an odd show as the stuff that was good was quite good but the weaker stuff just felt tacked on. WWE was still figuring things out after getting into the Thunderdome and this came off as somewhat of a Summerslam in name only. It certainly isn’t a bad show with the Bayley/Banks/Asuka stuff and McIntyre vs. Orton all being good. Tighten things up a bit and it could be great, but for now it just has to settle for being pretty good.

Ratings Comparison

Apollo Crews vs. MVP

Original: C
Redo: C

Asuka vs. Bayley

Original: B-
Redo: B-

Street Profits vs. Andrade/Angel Garza

Original: C
Redo: C

Sonya Deville vs. Mandy Rose

Original: D+
Redo: C

Seth Rollins vs. Dominik Mysterio

Original: D+
Redo: C-

Asuka vs. Sasha Banks

Original: B
Redo: B-

Randy Orton vs. Drew McIntyre

Original: B+
Redo: B

Fiend vs. Braun Strowman

Original: C+
Redo: C

Overall Rating

Original: C
Redo: B-

I’m not sure if that overall rating makes sense but the rest of the show was certainly in the same ballpark, save for Rose vs. Deville.

Here is the original review if you are interested:

 

 

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXXIX Night Two (2024 Edition): Story Time

Wrestlemania XXXIX Night Two
Date: April 2, 2023
Location: SoFi Stadium, Inglewood, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves
Attendance: 67,553
America The Beautiful: Jimmie Allen

After a rather long intermission, we’re ready to wrap up the show and this night has a lot to live up to. The first night was outstanding and now we have the real main event, as Roman Reigns defends the WWE Universal Title against Cody Rhodes. In addition, Gunther defends the Intercontinental Title against Sheamus and Drew McIntyre and we have a Cell match as a bonus. Let’s get to it.

Jimmie Allen sings America The Beautiful.

Kevin Hart gives us the cold open again, this time talking about how the sequel has to be bigger and better. Points for not just redoing the same video from the night before and keeping up with the theme.

Miz and Snoop Dogg welcome us to the show with a quick recap and preview. Snoop is ready to get us going.

Brock Lesnar vs. Omos

The story here is that Lesnar can’t overpower Omos (with MVP). Seriously that’s about it. Lesnar can’t double leg him to start and gets tossed around. Running shoulders don’t do much for Lesnar so Omos hits a headbutt and grabs a slam. Omos throws him around again and hits some forearms to the back. We hit the bearhug, followed by another slam, and another bearhug to keep Lesnar in trouble. Lesnar fights out and is quickly chokeslammed for a near fall. Back up and Lesnar rolls some German suplexes but his back gives out on the F5 attempt. Then Lesnar hits the F5 for the pin at 4:56.

Rating: C-. Well they definitely did the right thing in keeping this short, as the whole thing was about Lesnar doing his power moves but not doing them all that well because Omos is that big. It’s a very basic story and while Omos got in some impressive stuff, it felt more like a way to get Lesnar on the show more than anything else (which granted that’s more or less what it was). Not a great match but the fans liked the big throws so points for that.

Liv Morgan/Raquel Rodriguez vs. Natalya/Shotzi vs. Chelsea Green/Sonya Deville vs. Ronda Rousey/Shayna Baszler

It’s the women’s match of the showcase tag match from last night. Baszler and Rousey (the bullies) didn’t have to qualify here and were just thrown into the match. Morgan Backstabbers Sonya to start and a one kneed Codebreaker makes it even worse. Natalya comes in for the sling shot belly to back drop. The basement dropkick puts Morgan down again but she hurricanranas her way to freedom.

Rodriguez comes in and gets to throw Natalya around, leaving Natalya to hand it off to Green. A missile dropkick has no effect so Sonya comes back in, allowing Green to grab some hair. Shotzi comes in so Baszler throws her outside, where Rousey is waiting on her. That leaves Baszler to get caught in a triplebomb, meaning Rousey has to get on the apron…but the three on one is broken up by Green and Sonya.

Shotzi dives onto people in the ring and on the floor, but Green stops to tell us to get our cameras ready. Rather than face Rodriguez, Green dives onto a bunch of people at ringside. With no one else left inside, Rodriguez powerbombs Morgan onto the pile for the big crash. Back in and Rodriguez fall away slams Shotzi, setting up the corkscrew Vader Bomb. Sonya comes in for the save though and some double teaming puts Rodriguez on the floor.

Green and Sonya celebrate until Natalya and Shotzi are back in for an assisted double Sliced Bread. A Hart Attack gets two on Sonya with Green making the save. There’s the double Sharpshooter to Sonya and Green until Morgan dives off the top for the save. Morgan takes Shotzi down but Rousey and Baszler (now with one boot and limping) come back in to break it up. Rousey armbars Shotzi for the win at 8:22.

Rating: C+. I don’t know if Baszler’s injury put she and Rousey on the floor for so long but they were almost not around whatsoever for a good chunk of the match. The match was pretty similar to its male counterpart but two of these teams felt thrown together and it hurt a lot. Rousey and Baszler winning should set them up as the monsters of the division and they would win the Tag Team Titles in about a month and a half…after Rodriguez and Morgan won them first. As usual, those things are a mess.

We look at Bobby Lashley winning the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal on Smackdown.

Lashley comes out and shows off the trophy.

Xavier Woods and UpUpDownDown preview the Intercontinental Title match.

We recap Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Gunther for the latter’s Intercontinental Title. Gunther is a monster champion and his fellow Europeans want to hit him really hard and win the title. Sheamus and McIntyre are friends but both want the title, meaning they’re willing to fight each other. This falls into the “do we need to draw you a picture here” category. It also falls into the “we saw this video (or something really similar to it) last night” category.

Intercontinental Title: Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Gunther

Gunther is defending and Titus O’Neil is on commentary. Sheamus and McIntyre waste no time in knocking the champ to the floor before starting to lay into each other. Sheamus hits a clothesline and takes McIntyre into the corner for some uppercuts. McIntyre is sent to the apron for the forearms but Gunther is back up with chops for both of them. Gunther sends McIntyre into the post for a crash out to the floor, followed by a big boot to Sheamus’ face.

The Boston crab has Sheamus in more trouble until McIntyre comes in to break it up. McIntyre and Gunther chop it out (and they’re loud chops too) but Sheamus is back in with the uppercuts all around. With Gunther getting back up, Sheamus ties him in the ropes for the forearms to the chest, mixed in with chops from McIntyre. That leaves Gunther down so Sheamus ties McIntyre up in the ropes for almost thirty forearms to the chest.

Gunther is back in to break up the Celtic Cross though and a German suplex drops Sheamus again. The big clothesline gives Gunther two but McIntyre is back up to suplex Sheamus into Sheamus in the corner. There’s a Futureshock to Gunther but the Claymore misses. Gunther powerbombs McIntyre down and goes up but Sheamus is right there with a super White Noise. The Celtic Cross sets up the Cloverleaf so Gunther makes the rope, which means nothing because it’s No DQ.

Sheamus lets go and puts the hold back on anyway, only to have McIntyre come in for the break. That doesn’t go well either as Sheamus knees both of them down but McIntyre cuts off the Brogue Kick. McIntyre headbutts him out to the floor and busts out the big flip dive, leaving everyone down on the floor. Cole to O’Neil: “You never did that!” O’Neil: “AND I NEVER WILL!”

Back in and Sheamus Brogue Kicks McIntyre for two, followed by the Claymore to give McIntyre two of his own. Sheamus drops McIntyre again and covers but Gunther dives in with a top rope splash. Gunther’s powerbomb to Sheamus onto McIntyre leaves them both down, followed by another powerbomb to pin McIntyre and retain at 16:35.

Rating: A. It’s rare that I’ll watch a match back on its own but I’ve seen this one more than a few times now as it’s that kind of brutal. These guys beat the fire out of each other and that is exactly how it was advertised. They didn’t stop and for once it felt like three people having a match. There were stretches where it was two in and one out, but it was a brutal and hard hitting enough match to make up for it. Excellent stuff here, as you probably should have expected.

WWE did charity work this week.

We recap Asuka vs. Bianca Belair for the latter’s Raw Women’s Title. Belair won the title last year at Wrestlemania and has become a huge star during her reign. Then Asuka showed up as an evil clown and Belair is all scared, at least somewhat due to Asuka spraying her with the mist over and over. It’s a simple story but it didn’t exactly work and this never felt like a big feud.

Raw Women’s Title: Bianca Belair vs. Asuka

Asuka is challenging and comes out with a team of masked Asukas, while Belair counters with an all girl kids dance troupe. Eh point to the champ. Belair kicks her down at the bell and hits a dropkick into the corner, setting up the right hands. That’s broken up and Asuka kicks her down, setting up the big missed kick to the head. Asuka puts her on top but Belair flips over her and hits a spinebuster for a fast two.

Something close to a triangle choke has Belair in trouble before Asuka switches to the Asuka Lock. It’s not on quite full though and Belair rolls outside, where she PLANTS Asuka with a sitout powerbomb. Back in and Belair misses a charge into the post, allowing Asuka to pull her into a heel hook. Belair powers out but Asuka grabs an ankle lock, which is rolled away for the break. Asuka is right back up with a missile dropkick for two and things slow down a bit.

They go to the apron where Asuka hits a hard dropkick into the post. Belair sends her into the post to even things up a bit, setting up a deadlift superplex to bring them back inside. Asuka’s kick to the face gets two but a Codebreaker is blocked. A running Blockbuster into a handspring moonsault gives Belair two and frustration is setting in. They go to the corner with Asuka slipping out of a fireman’s carry and hitting a Codebreaker for two of her own. Back up and the mist misses but Asuka slips out of the KOD. The cross armbreaker doesn’t quite work for Asuka though and Belair powers up for the

Rating: B-. This was good but it never hit that next level, save for maybe the final sequence. The story just wasn’t that compelling coming in and it didn’t really feel like a major showdown. Belair retaining the title over a top level challenge is good though as beating Asuka is still an impressive feat.

We look at Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens beating the Usos for the Tag Team Titles in Night One’s main event.

Here are Miz and Snoop Dogg to announce tonight’s attendance of 81,395, giving us a two day total of 161,892. That’s great, but Miz isn’t happy with Snoop for putting him into an impromptu match last night. Dogg: “So you want to do it again?” Of course not, because Miz doesn’t like being humiliated in his town. Snoop says this is the people’s city and introduces….Shane McMahon, because SHANE MUST BE A THING. Shane thanks the fans and sounds like he can barely breathe after his entrance. Time for a match

Shane McMahon vs. Miz

Shane punches him in the corner and yeah they’re as bad as before. Then he drops down, leapfrogs over Miz and….tears his quad on the landing less than thirty seconds in. That brings Snoop in to hit Miz in the face and apparently we have a replacement. Snoop knocks him down again and drops a People’s Elbow for the pin at 2:11. This seems to have been completely impromptu with either the referee telling Snoop to get in there or Snoop coming up with the idea on his own. Either way, major points to Snoop who had no idea what he was doing and gave the fans a very fun moment out of nowhere.

We recap Edge vs. the Demon Finn Balor inside the Cell. Balor threw Edge out of the Judgment Day the night he joined, setting off a feud between the two of them. This led to Judgment Day attacking both Edge and his wife Beth Phoenix, meaning it’s time for the big, violent fight.

The Cell is lowered and we get a voiceover (from Russell Crowe of all people, as part of a movie tie-in) talking about how evil it is as well.

Edge vs. Finn Balor

Inside the Cell and this is Brood Edge (and yes, his Titantron literally says BROOD EDGE), who comes out of the Brood ring of fire with a shiny mask that makes him look like the Terminator while wearing wings, against the Demon. They waste no time in getting the weapons, with Edge grabbing a red chair and Balor grabbing a purple kendo stick (because not only do you need weapons in the Cell, but you need COLOR COORDINATED weapons).

Balor gets the better of things and knocks him to the floor, only to get hammered back inside. Edge knocks him off the apron and grabs a bunch of kendo sticks (two purple, one red), some of which he uses to pin Balor into the corner of the Cell. A dropkick off the apron hits Balor to make it worse, meaning it’s time to set up the table. Balor uses the delay to get out and sends Edge hard into the steps. They get back inside where Edge hits a quick Impaler but the spear is countered with a Sling Blade.

They go outside with Balor being dropkicked through a table, only to come back in with an Unprettier. The Edge-O-Matic gets two more and it’s time to grab a ladder. Edge throws said ladder at Balor’s face and Balor is busted open BAD, meaning we pause for the medic to come inside to check on him (this led to a hilarious reaction from Mick Foley, because apparently YOU CAN PAUSE A CELL MATCH DUE TO AN INJURY).

Edge uses the delay to get a bunch of weapons ready but Balor is back up with 1916. The spear only hits ladder and Balor hits another Slind Blade. Coup de Grace connects for two and Balor climbs the ladder, only to get countered into a super Edgecution for a slightly delayed two.

That takes too long again and Balor is back up with his own weapons shots, including a bunch of chair shots to Edge. Balor climbs up but instead climbs the cage and gets onto the camera platform. This adds a full nine inched above the top rope but the Coup De Grace only hits table. Edge’s spear gets two so he unloads with chair shots to the back. The Conchairto finishes Balor at 18:10.

Rating: B-. This was the modern Cell match and that is not a good thing for the most part. The bell rang and they went straight for the weapons, which didn’t exactly make the Cell itself feel important. It was a violent and hard hitting match but other than one or two spots, I’m not sure how much the Cell was needed. Either use the Cell or don’t, because this was a street fight with the cage blocking the camera view.

We look at the Wrestlemania trailers.

Backlash is coming to Puerto Rico. You should too!

We look at the Hall Of Fame induction ceremony.

Here is the class in the stadium:

Stacy Keibler (who has not aged a day)
Andy Kaufman (represented by his family)
Great Muta (that’s a nice addition)
Tim White (Warrior Award, and his brother looks identical to him)
Rey Mysterio (that’s about as perfect of a choice for an active headliner as you could pick)

Mysterio shakes the other inductees’ hands (bowing to Muta).

We look at Set Rollins’ entrance from last night. Feel free to get on with the show at any time.

We recap Roman Reigns defending the WWE Universal Title against Cody Rhodes. The big idea here is Rhodes wants to finish his story, meaning winning the title in his dad’s honor while also completing his long rise to the top of WWE. Reigns has been champion for two and a half years and isn’t going away that fast, so it’s time for the big showdown. It feels like a main event and Cody is almost the last man standing to fight Reigns.

Smackdown World Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns is defending and has Paul Heyman/Solo Sikoa with him. Rhodes gets his big entrance and goes over to say hi to his family, including giving his weightlifting belt to an unmasked Negative One (the son of the late Brody Lee, who makes occasional AEW appearances). Reigns gets a special entrance of his own, with a team of pianists playing the start of his entrance live. We get an ACKNOWLEDGE ME from Reigns before the bell finally rings.

Rhodes hammerlocks him over to the ropes to start and Reigns isn’t impressed. A headlock takeover and a right hand has Reigns a bit more annoyed so he bails out to the floor. Heyman’s advice is that Reigns isn’t here for Rhodes because Rhodes is here for him. Heyman: “NOW SMASH HIM!” Back in and Reigns elbows him in the face, meaning it’s time to raise up a finger. Rhodes manages a dropkick (Reigns is stunned again) for two, with commentary saying that cover wasn’t about getting a pin but rather sending a message to Reigns. What that message is isn’t clear but I’d guess “Eat At Joe’s”.

The Disaster Kick is pulled out of the air though and Reigns hits a powerbomb for two. Some suplexes have Rhodes in more trouble but he’s back up to send Reigns out to the floor. That goes badly for him as well as Reigns drops him face first onto the apron. A hard slam puts Rhodes down onto the ramp but Rhodes gets in one of his own. Rhodes sends him back inside but Sikoa gets in a chair shot to the ribs, allowing Reigns to come back with the apron boot.

The cravate slows Rhodes down back inside until he fights up, only to have Sikoa interfere again. This time it lets Reigns hit a hard clothesline before whipping Rhodes into the corner to stay on his bad ribs. They go back outside with Reigns loading up the announcers’ table but getting backdropped through the other one for the big hope spot. Back in and Rhodes hits the drop down uppercut into the snap powerslam.

There’s the Cody Cutter for a big near fall so Reigns rolls outside, meaning it’s a suicide dive to hit him again. They try to get back in but Sikoa gets in a weightlifting belt shot….which the referee hears for an ejection. The distraction lets Rhodes hit Cross Rhodes for two (with Heyman looking on in fear for a nice visual). Reigns is back with some shots to the head and a release Rock Bottom gets two.

The Superman Punch is countered into a Pedigree (Heyman even reaches through the ropes this time) for two and it’s time to start the comeback. Said comeback is cut off with a Superman Punch to knock Rhodes out of the air for two more. The spear is countered into a sunset flip for two and Rhodes whips out a Figure Four for a change of pace. Reigns turns it over (while slapping the mat on the way there), with Rhodes getting over to the ropes for the break.

A big spear connects for two and now Reigns is stunned for a change. With nothing else working, Reigns hits him in the face over and over before grabbing the guillotine choke. Rhodes can’t spinebuster his way to freedom but he can slip his head out and hammer away at Reigns for a change. The referee gets bumped though and a double knockdown gives us quite the breather. Cody is back up for the Cross Rhodes but the Usos run in to break it up. The 1D drops Rhodes but here are Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn to take out the Usos.

A Stunner into the Helluva Kick leave Reigns down and the other four brawl out into the crowd. Rhodes gets the big dramatic near fall (and thank goodness that wasn’t the pin as Rhodes winning thanks to Owens and Zayn wouldn’t have worked) and they’re both down again. Back up and the slug it out with both of them being staggered off the shots. The Superman Punch is countered with the Flip Flop And Fly into the Bionic Elbow. Rhodes hits back to back Cross Rhodes….but Sikoa comes in with the Samoan Spike. The spear retains the title at 34:36.

Rating: B+. A year removed from this and my goodness I’m still amazed at the guts it took to not pull the trigger here. This was Cody’s chance to win the whole thing and they kept it on Reigns, which is quite the way to go. They beat the fire out of each other and it had the big match feel, but not pulling the trigger here still feels way off. Heck of a main event, but man they had the fans ready for the moment and just didn’t do it.

Replays and a highlight package wrap us up.

Overall Rating: B. There were some weak parts here and there but the good stuff is more than enough to carry this. Much like Night One, you can’t fault the atmosphere and the look/feel of the show, which made for a heck of a showcase for everyone involved. The main event was very good (ending aside perhaps) and the Intercontinental Title match was great, mixed in with some other strong stuff along the way. I liked this one a lot and the slightly shorter running time helped, but it’s just a few ticks below Night One’s instant classic status.

Overall Overall Rating: A-. Wrestlemania has a complicated history but this was going along with the big, epic show feel and it worked to near perfection. It’s one of the best Wrestlemanias ever and what matters is the show feeling as big as possible. Granted it helped that there was some great action, though that ending is one of those things that is going to stick in a lot of fans’ memories for a very long time. I loved the show overall, and my goodness WWE knows how to make these things work so well.

Ratings Comparison

Brock Lesnar vs. Omos

Original: C+
Redo: C-

Women’s Tag Team Showcase

Original: C
Redo: C+

Drew McIntyre vs. Sheamus vs. Gunther

Original: A-
Redo: A

Asuka vs. Bianca Belair

Original: B
Redo: B-

Shane McMahon vs. Miz

Original: N/A
Redo: N/A

Edge vs. Finn Balor

Original: B
Redo: B-

Roman Reigns vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: B+
Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B+
Redo: B

Overall Overall Rating:

Original: A
Redo: A-

At least most of them are in in the ballpark. Either way, excellent show.

 

 

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – XXXVII Night Two (2022 Redo): Did They Want Us To Be Mad?

Wrestlemania XXXVII Night Two
Date: April 11, 2021
Location: Raymond James Stadium, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 25,675
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton
America the Beautiful: Ashland Craft

It’s the second night of Wrestlemania, because Wrestlemania needs to be a two night show. There are some big things this time too, including Roman Reigns defending the Universal Title against Daniel Bryan and Edge, Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens and MORE TAMINA/NATALYA! Let’s get to it.

Ashland Craft sings America the Beautiful. I’m not sure who she is but I was told she’s the new voice of country and WWE wouldn’t lie to me.

Opening video. It’s the same one as yesterday (albeit with some different clips), making it three airings if you watch all three parts on Peacock.

Here are Titus O’Neil and Hulk Hogan, this time dressed as pirates, to welcome us to the show. They agree that it’s hot but they both look good so it’s time to hype up the card. A bunch of pirate jokes don’t go very well so Titus switches to hyping up the Fiend vs. Randy Orton. They both say arrrrrgh a lot to wrap it up.

We recap Randy Orton vs. the Fiend. Orton burned the Fiend alive at TLC (because that’s what you do in an inferno match, so Alexa Bliss popped in as the female Fiend to go after Orton and bring back the Fiend, because this story needs to keep going. Fiend looks like even more of a slasher villain now and it’s time for the big showdown.

Randy Orton vs. The Fiend

The burned Fiend walks through the back and transforms into the regular version. Sure why not. LET ME IN flashes above the Titantron and now it’s Alexa Bliss as the female Fiend to the Firefly Funhouse theme. As she gets to ringside, there is a huge jack-in-the-box, with Bliss cranking the handle so the Fiend can pop out. Fiend dives off the box and clotheslines Orton to start. Orton’s neck gets twisted around but the threat of what looked like a Punt from Fiend sends him bailing outside.

Fiend shrugs off the belly to back onto the announcers’ table and puts on the Mandible Claw as they get back in. The hanging DDT connects but it’s too early for the RKO. Instead a charging Fiend is sent into the “box like structure” (oh that’s a famous one), setting up another hanging DDT.

That doesn’t do much again as Fiend hits a clothesline and hammers away, only to miss the backsplash. The RKO is countered into the Mandible Claw, with Fiend switching to load up Sister Abigail. Then fire shoots up from the posts and Bliss, with black goo on her face, is sitting on the box. Fiend reaches out to her and gets RKOed for the pin at 5:52.

Rating: D. I’m not sure if it’s as bad as the bugs on the mat at Wrestlemania XXXIII but this was another really bad idea, as Fiend’s stuff gets so over the top that it makes no sense and it just more dumb than anything else. If you want to do Wyatt vs. Orton then do Wyatt vs. Orton, but stop making it feel like I’ll get my answers if I read three tie-in comic books that come out two years from now.

Post match Orton leaves and the lights go out. Back up and Fiend/Bliss are gone, which, save for a one off appearance tomorrow on Raw, was it for Wyatt in WWE. After this, thank goodness.

Titus O’Neil and Hulk Hogan are in the back with Eric Bischoff when Bayley interrupts. She shakes Bischoff’s hand and praises his podcast before offering him a spot on Ding Dong Hello. Bischoff says he would like to have Bianca Belair on his podcast, maybe with Sasha Banks. Bayley isn’t impressed and says they’re nothing compared to him. Bischoff and Hogan suddenly remember that they need to look at a boat and Titus goes with them. Titus to Bayley: “Sorry. Hall of Fame stuff.”

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax vs. Tamina/Natalya

Tamina/Natalya are challenging after winning a gauntlet match yesterday. Baszler and Natalya go technical to start and that means an early standoff. Natalya tries a Sharpshooter but Baszler goes straight to the ropes, meaning it’s Jax coming in to shove Natalya down. Jax wants and gets Tamina though, giving us some of the cheering that led to Tamina being more of a thing in 2021.

An exchange of headbutts let them glare at each other so Tamina hammers her up against the ropes. Natalya comes back in with a double backdrop but Baszler comes in off a blind tag. Baszler has to small package her way out of a Sharpshooter attempt so Natalya goes with the release German suplex. Natalya catapults her into a superkick from Tamina (that was nice) but Baszler slips out of a slam. The rights and lefts rock Natalya for a change and a hard knee to the face knocks her silly.

Everything breaks down and Jax slams Tamina on the floor. We settle down to Baszler cranking on Natalya’s knee and you can hear the silence spreading. The stomp on the leg (“gnarly” according to Graves) allows Jax to come back in and lift Natalya up, with Baszler adding a running knee for two. Back up and Jax’s running shoulder hits the post but Tamina is STILL down on the floor. Natalya shouts COME ON YOU GUYS to try and wake the fans up a bit but Jax spinebusters her for two with Tamina making the save.

Tamina comes back in to clean a few rooms until Baszler kicks her legs out. The Kirifuda Clutch is blocked so Tamina goes up, where Baszler kicks her in the head to cut off the Superfly Splash. Everything breaks down and Jax dives off the top to crossbody Natalya and Tamina. The TAMINA chants start up and she plays Lex Luger Jax’s Yokozuna on an awful slam for two.

Tamina misses the Superfly Splash though and they’re both down again as this just keeps going. Natalya, looking close to death, gets the tag and basement drops Jax to (very slowly) set up the Sharpshooter. Granted it doesn’t matter as Baszler made a blind tag and Kirifuda Clutches Natalya to retain the titles at 14:15.

Rating: F. The only word I can think of here is failure, as we are now about fifty minutes into the show and the place was eerily quiet for some parts of this match. To take the second show with fans in over a year and have them go silent less than an hour into the night says that you have accomplished none of your goals. This was long, not good (at one point Tamina messed up A TAG by moving her hand and starting to come in before Natalya had tagged her) and then gave us an anticlimactic ending as the champs retain. Natalya and Tamina would get the belts in about a month anyway, making this all the dumber.

We recap Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens. Zayn has gone off the deep end, suggesting that there is a conspiracy against them because THEY are all out to get him. Owens can’t get behind it but offers to Stun some sense into him. Zayn has Logan Paul here as his guest as Owens continues to think Zayn is nuts. They did a nice job of having Zayn sound completely off his rocker for this and my goodness it’s cool to see Owens vs. Zayn at Wrestlemania.

Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn

JBL is guest commentator and Zayn brings out Logan Paul as his special guest. Zayn charges right at him to start and it’s a Pop Up Powerbomb three seconds in, with Zayn rolling outside. The apron powerbomb is broken up and they head back inside with Owens dropping him ribs first onto the top rope. A running corner clothesline rocks Zayn, who is bumping all over the place for Owens.

The Cannonball connects, allowing JBL to get in the Otto Wanz reference that he makes every time someone uses a Cannonball. They head to the apron and Zayn manages a brainbuster, which is quite the scary spot and comes pretty early in the match. The Michinoku Driver (Cole: “Blue Thunder Bomb!” Graves: “It’s a Michinoku Driver Cole. I’m gonna save you from the internet.”) gives Zayn two and he puts Owens on top. Owens fights out with right hands and the headbutt, setting up the frog splash for two.

A pumphandle driver onto the knee gives Owens two more but Zayn is back up with the exploder suplex into the corner. Another brainbuster gives Zayn another two and he hammers Owens down. They head up top and Owens reverses into the swinging superplex for the double knockdown. Some running clothesline in the corner rock Zayn but he’s right back with the Helluva Kick. Another Helluva Kick is cut off by a superkick, followed by a second one to make Paul cringe. The Stunner gives Owens the clean pin at 9:24.

Rating: B-. It felt like they were just getting in every signature move they could here and that was ok, as this was all about this match making it to the biggest stage in the world. That is something that would have felt like a dream back in the day but here they are. It’s a cool story and they made it work, with the first good match of the night as well.

Post match Paul checks on Zayn, who yells at him due to reasons of insanity. Paul shoves him so Zayn walks away, leaving Paul to raise Owens’ hand. A Stunner abounds.

Riddle is on his scooter in the back and runs into Great Khali. That means a pitch for giant scooters but Khali just stares at him. Rob Van Dam comes in and Riddle is impressed, with Van Dam translating Khali’s words as business advice. Van Dam has his own rolling papers and gives them out before hitting his catchphrase. HOW DO YOU SCREW UP VAN DAM MEETS RIDDLE???

Get vaccinated.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Riddle

Riddle is defending and they’re fighting because Sheamus beat him up with his scooter. They go straight to the brawling with Riddle striking away in the corner. Sheamus powers his way out of a choke and drives Riddle into the corner for some elbows to the face. The swinging release Rock Bottom (which isn’t usually a Sheamus move) gets two but the Irish Curse seems to wake Riddle up.

The armbreaker over the top rope has Sheamus in trouble but he reverses into the forearms to the chest. Back in and Sheamus goes up top, only to get belly to belly superplexed back down for a big crash. Riddle is back up with a Broton into a Jackhammer (Goldberg is not pleased) for two. With that not working, Riddle loads up a slingshot something, which is cut off with a hard knee.

They head to the apron with Riddle grabbing a German suplex. The springboard Floating Bro takes Sheamus down again and Riddle is rolling. Back in and Sheamus has to power out of a triangle choke into a powerbomb for two of his own, with Riddle switching the cover into a rear naked choke. It’s Sheamus going up so Riddle follows him, only to get pulled into White Noise. Middle rope knees give Sheamus two more so Riddle tries a springboard moonsault..which is Brogue Kicked out of the air (nice timing) for the pin and the title at 10:52.

Rating: C+. Time has helped this one a bit as Riddle was about to move on to RKBro, but this was a deflating loss as Riddle hadn’t been champion very long and then lost to Sheamus. The show continues to limit how much good it can do, though at least this one came after a pretty physical match. It isn’t like Sheamus as US Champion is a bad thing, but taking it from Riddle at Wrestlemania? That feels like a Fastlane kind of title match.

We look at Bad Bunny’s debut last night.

We recap Big E. vs. Apollo Crews in a Nigerian Drum Fight for Big E.’s Intercontinental Title. Big E. won the title on Christmas night but Crews turned heel and beat him up, because Big E. as a beaten down champion is the way to go. Then Crews embraced his Nigerian heritage and became little more than a caricature, only to have Big E. beat him at Fastlane. Therefore, we needed a rematch with a bunch of drums because culture.

Intercontinental Title: Big E. vs. Apollo Crews

Hometown boy Big E. is defending in a Nigerian Drum Fight, meaning anything goes and there are a bunch of drums around ringside. As a bonus, Wale raps Big E. to the ring to really make it feel special. Big E. starts fast with a kendo stick but gets a gong knocked out of his hands. Crews is back with some stick shots of his own so Big E. spears him through the ropes to take over.

The steps are set up at ringside, only to have Crews hit a Death Valley Driver onto the apron. That lets Crews lay Big E. onto the steps to try and slam the steps onto him but the steps only hits steps. Big E. is back up with a Rock Bottom off the apron onto the steps but instead of covering, let’s set up a table in the ring. The delay lets Crews hit a kick to the head and beat on him with a kendo stick, only to miss a frog splash through the table. Big E. hits the Big Ending, so here is a monster in a military uniform to come in and beat Big E. down. Crews is laid on top to win the title at 6:50.

Rating: D+. The drums were barely used as this was every other weapons brawl with kendo sticks, a table and the steps. Then the monster comes in to save Crews and win him the title, because Big E., in his hometown and with someone rapping him to the ring, had to lose the title to Apollo Crews here. They couldn’t do this at Smackdown or at Backlash or anything like that, but this show right here under these circumstances. After Riddle lost the US Title in the previous match. Say it with me: because WWE.

We look back at last night’s show, because Wrestlemania needs filler (possible because two of the five matches so far haven’t broken seven minutes). This eats up the better part of five minutes.

Hey! The media LOVED night one!

Get vaccinated!

Hall of Fame video, as this seems to be an intermission without being an intermission. This is the 2021 Class though, as 2020/2021 were inducted in the same year.

Here is the class in the stadium:

Rob Van Dam (nice reaction)
Molly Holly (long overdue)
Great Khali (sure why not)
Ozzy Osbourne (not here)
Eric Bischoff (that’s bizarre)
Rich Hering (longtime WWE employee, Warrior Award)
Kane (the big finale and again, well deserved)

Batista was scheduled to be in but didn’t appear here, as he will be inducted at some point in the future.

We recap Asuka vs. Rhea Ripley for Asuka’s Raw Women’s Title. Bianca Belair went after the Smackdown Women’s Title so Asuka needed a challenger. Game on.

Raw Women’s Title: Asuka vs. Rhea Ripley

Ripley is challenging and gets played to the ring, because this show needs something else to drag it out. After the Big Match Intros, Asuka hits a dropkick to the back and a rollup gets a fast two. Another dropkick into the corner angers Ripley even more, only to have her charge get sent face first into the buckle. They head outside with Asuka’s pop up knee going somewhere in the vicinity of Ripley’s face.

Back in and Asuka hits a hard kick to the back, which is enough to make Ripley take her down and hammer away. The bodyscissors goes on with Ripley hitting her in the back and even messing with the rainbow hair. A series of clotheslines keeps Asuka in trouble but she pulls Ripley down into a kneebar. With that broken up, Ripley sends her into the corner but stops to jaw with some fans. Asuka shoves her off the top though and there’s the missile dropkick to put them both down.

Another trip up top is broken up for Asuka and Ripley drops her face first onto the apron. Asuka is fine enough to catch her with a DDT off the apron and out to the floor, which is good for two because modern wrestling is stupid. Some Kawada kicks wake Ripley up and she grabs the Prism Trap. That’s reversed into an armbar, which is countered with a hard swing into the corner to rock Asuka again. Another armbar goes on but Ripley fights out again. A running kick to the head is quickly countered though and Riptide connects for the pin and the title at 13:37.

Rating: C+. They were having a good, hard hitting match but then that DDT off the apron took me out of it. That was one of the most ridiculous non-finishes I’ve seen in a long time, as there was no reason to have someone be back in the ring within the next month, let alone win the match. Ripley getting the title was a good call in the end, but come up with less infused with dumb way to get there.

Get vaccinated!

We look back at Randy Orton vs. the Fiend, because that needs to be revisited.

Titus O’Neil and Hulk Hogan thank the fans for watching. Bayley comes out to complain about not getting respect and her lack of pyro. Cue the Bella Twins to get in her face, but Bayley reminds them that John Cena isn’t here tonight. The Bellas beat her up and get booed out of the stadium.

Here’s what’s coming on Peacock.

The next pay per view is Wrestlemania Backlash, because two nights just isn’t enough.

We recap Edge and Daniel Bryan challenging Roman Reigns for the Smackdown World Title. Edge had to retire because of his neck injuries but came back and won the Royal Rumble to earn his title shot. Then Bryan said he wanted to be in the match and made Reigns tap at Fastlane, but the referee didn’t see it. Edge interfered and cost Bryan the match, so let’s make it a triple threat.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns, with Paul Heyman and Jey Uso, is defending and Edge gets a heck of a reaction with probably the loudest pop of the weekend. Bryan gets knocked into the corner to start so Reigns starts unloading on Edge. That’s broken up by Bryan who fires off the European uppercuts, only to be sent outside. Jey adds a superkick and sends Bryan into the steps, leaving us with Edge vs. Reigns for the time being.

It’s time to go outside with the announcers’ table being loaded up but Bryan breaks that up with a suicide dive. Edge takes out Jey and then sends Reigns into the apron and barricade over and over. A posting drops Reigns so Edge heads back to Uso. The Edgecution onto the steps knocks Uso silly so here are the medics to take Uso out. That leaves Edge to roll Bryan up for a pair of near falls back inside but Reigns is back up to fight over a suplex on the apron.

Bryan pulls Reigns to the floor and there’s the missile dropkick to Edge back inside. Reigns is back in to take both of them down, which is enough for him to want some acknowledgment. Edge gets in an Edge-O-Matic on Reigns but he’s right back up with the Superman Punch. The spear is countered into a sunset flip for two as Heyman is getting worried. They both try spears and collide in the middle for a double knockdown. Bryan is back in with a Swan Dive to Reigns for two, followed by the YES Kicks to both.

The big one gets two on Reigns so Bryan grabs the YES Lock, drawing Edge over for the save. That earns Edge a YES Lock of his own but this time it’s Reigns making a save of his own and unloading on Bryan with right hands. They go back outside with Reigns (slowly) powerbombing Bryan through the announcers’ table but taking too long to pose, allowing Edge to spear him off the steps.

Edge sends him back inside and grabs some chairs but switches to the Crossface instead. The piece of the chair makes the Crossface worse but here is Bryan to come in and block the tap. Bryan adds a YES Lock while the Crossface is still on so Edge and Bryan exchange headbutts to break the double hold. That goes to Bryan as well, so he stomps on Edge’s neck, while shouting about how bad it is.

The running knee is loaded up but Edge spears Bryan down and then does the same to Reigns, with Bryan having to pull the referee out at two. With the normal stuff not working, Edge grabs some chairs and unloads on both of them. The Conchairto crushes Bryan but Uso is back in for the save. Reigns is back up and it’s a Conchairto to Edge, setting up the double pin to retain the titles at 22:42.

Rating: A-. This was so far and away the match of both nights that it isn’t even a fair comparison. It felt like a major showdown with Edge and Bryan getting close to being able to make Reigns work hard. The ending might have been a bit cliched with Uso interfering to keep the title, but dang it was fun with some clever spots and a lot of effort throughout. Awesome main event and the big saving grace of a pretty awful night.

The Bloodline poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a show where the wrestling wasn’t the point. The main event was great, but there was so much downtime and so much stuff that felt like it was there to anger the fans rather than make them happy. You have two popular champions lose their titles, whatever that box thing was, and a nearly fifteen minute Natalya/Tamina match. I’m not sure how this was supposed to be a happy show, but it was almost painful to watch at times.

Overall Overall Rating: C+. The first night was a lot better than the first, but this whole thing felt like it would have been better off as a long one off show. It came off like WWE was trying to fill in time far more often than they needed to here and it made the show feel long. Other than the main event and maybe one or two other matches, you could cut off the second night almost entirely. Overall it’s good, if nothing else because they had fans back, but this really needed to be trimmed down.

Ratings Comparison

Randy Orton vs. The Fiend

Original: D
Redo: D

Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax vs. Tamina/Natalya

Original: D
Redo: F

Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens

Original: B-
Redo: B-

Riddle vs. Sheamus

Original: B-
Redo: C+

Apollo Crews vs. Big E.

Original: C+
Redo: D+

Asuka vs. Rhea Ripley

Original: B-
Redo: C+

Edge vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Roman Reigns

Original: A-
Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-
Redo: C-

Overall Overall Rating

Original:
Redo: C+

That Women’s Tag Team Title match was a big downgrade and what was I thinking on Crews vs. Big E?

 

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXXIV (2019 Edition): Last Year’s Prototype

Wrestlemania XXXIV
Date: April 8, 2018
Location: Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 78,133
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton
America the Beautiful: Chloe x Hallie

I’m not sure if it’s because I was in the stadium last year or something else, but this show was actually a bit more memorable than the previous few editions. Hopefully it’s just as good watching it back but you never can tell with these things. Brock Lesnar is defending the Universal Title against Roman Reigns in the main event because of course he is so let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

JR and Jerry Lawler come out for commentary with Byron Saxton for a bit of a feel good moment. It’s a brawl to start with English getting backdropped out, much to the fans’ annoyance. Anderson dumps Konnor and Ziggler starts his tradition of hanging on to avoid elimination. There goes Hawkins as we still need to clear out a lot of the ring. Former partners R-Truth and Goldust shake hands with Goldust eliminating him, cutting off JR’s Bearcat Wright’s references.

Primo is out next as there’s almost nothing between these eliminations. Kanellis gets tossed and Ziggler hangs on again. Things settle down a bit unto Apollo knees Breeze as JR mocks Ziggler for always having to save himself. Viktor is gone too and the Revival beats on Ryder but he’s right back up. The Broski Boot is loaded up on Ziggler (JR: “Ziggler in trouble. Again.”) but Rawley Pounces Ryder out in a nice touch. A Liger kick from Gable eliminates Anderson and Titus gets rid of Gallows as we take a break.

Apollo getting backdropped out and Benjamin follows him…and let’s look at the announcers. We come back with Rhyno and the Revival gone and Kane eliminating Axel and Dallas. And now, we look at John Cena in the crowd as a fan, because I had forgotten about that stupid story. Back with Sin Cara eliminated by Corbin and Fandango dancing at Kane, earning himself an elimination off a single uppercut.

Corbin gets rid of Slater and Kane eliminates Gable, leaving us with the big power showdown. Everyone else jumps the monsters and it’s a superkick to Titus, setting a clothesline to get rid of him. We’re down to Corbin, Dillinger, Goldust, Rawley, Ziggler, Hardy and Kane as Goldust loads up Shattered Dreams on Dillinger. That’s broken up by Ziggler so Goldust ties him up for Shattered Dreams as well. Dillinger takes the kick but Ziggler eliminates Goldust.

That leaves us with a TEN vs. DELETE battle with a Twist of Fate and Dillinger is gone. Kane tosses Ziggler but gets eliminated by Corbin to get us down to Corbin, Hardy and Rawley. A fireman’s carry faceplant drops Hardy and the villains go for the elimination….but here’s the returning Bray Wyatt for Sister Abigail into an elimination for Rawley. Corbin drops Wyatt but gets backdropped out to give Matt the win at 16:36.

Rating: D+. It was a battle royal that got a lot of time and wasn’t all that interesting. The ending was a cool moment and it’s the best way to get everyone on the card, even if most of these people mean a grand total of nothing. It’s not a good match or even anything memorable, but at least it got the crowd warmed up….with an hour to go before the show itself starts.

Post match Matt thanks Bray and we get a hug, which JR deems a Wrestlemania moment.

Cruiserweight Title: Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali

Tournament final to crown a new champion after Enzo Amore was finally banished. Ali debuts his SubZero look, which he still uses a year later. They’re both very happy to be there and slaps hands before getting started. Cedric scores with a shoulder block but gets headscissored down as the announcers are right there to play up the power vs. speed idea, though you don’t exactly think of power when it comes to Alexander.

Now the 054 connects for two, the first time the move has ever only gotten a near fall. Another 054 misses and it’s a pair of spinning back elbows to Ali’s face. A third turns Ali inside out and the Lumbar Check makes Cedric champion at 12:21. Cedric immediately hugs the unconscious Ali in a nice show of sportsmanship.

Rating: B. I was pulling for Ali but it felt like a title match between two guys fighting with everything they had. Cedric was the favorite in the entire tournament but Ali came off looking like a star the whole way through. This was rather good stuff and should have been the Kickoff Show main event, though I’ll take a good match when I can.

Kickoff Show: Women’s Battle Royal

Dana Brooke, Becky Lynch, Sarah Logan, Lana, Bianca Belair, Naomi, Sonya Deville, Mandy Rose, Carmella, Peyton Royce, Natalya, Dakota Kai, Mickie James, Taynara Conti, Ruby Riott, Kairi Sane, Sasha Banks, Liv Morgan, Kavita Devi, Bayley

This was going to be the Fabulous Moolah Memorial Battle Royal but history intervened and it’s just a regular battle royal this time around. Paige and Beth Phoenix are on commentary and the former has some advice: don’t get thrown over the top rope. Becky comes out first, everyone else comes out, followed by Sasha and Bayley to fill out the field. Miss Money in the Bank Carmella (erg) poses with the briefcase to start and everyone gangs up on her for the easy elimination.

Deville, who got the elimination, poses in the big circle of women but Dana gets thrown in the middle instead. That means trash talk from Brooke and the big beatdown is on with Mandy tossing Dana. The NXT women team up to send the main roster women outside (through the ropes rather than over, which I can’t stand in battle royals) so we can get the WE ARE NXT pose.

Becky yells at Devi about orange being HER COLOR as some of the main roster women get back in. Kai eliminates Mandy as Paige declares Deville her favorite member of Absolution. We stop for the NXT women to triple team Deville, setting up Belair’s 450, because THAT MAKES SENSE IN A BATTLE ROYAL! Deville is out and we take a break, coming back with Sane being tossed after hitting the Insane Elbow thanks to more ganging up on Riott during the break.

Lana and Devi are tossed and Conti gets kicked out by the Squad. Becky and Belair have a less than thrilling slugout and the hair whip is incredibly loud. Belair misses a charge though and gets kicked out, followed by Kai kicking Naomi in the face. Banks gets rid of Kai without much effort and there goes Becky to a chorus of boos (I think Becky will be fine). Ruby knocks Mickie out and it’s Royce’s turn to kick people in the face.

Logan powerbombs her out as well though and we’re down to Morgan, Logan, Riott, Bayley, Banks, Natalya and Naomi, who is out on the floor (oh dear). For some reason Natalya decides to pose with her back turned to the Squad but manages to suplex Ruby and Sarah at the same time.

Bayley saves Sasha from a suplex and helps get rid of Natalya. Morgan is out as well and there goes Ruby. Banks sends Logan to the apron and Bayley knocks her out, leaving us with Banks and Bayley. The fans actually get on their feet to cheer for this one and the handshake…lets Bayley throw Banks out to a big reaction but Naomi gets back in for the Rear View. That’s enough for the win at 9:39.

Rating: F+. I had forgotten how annoying that ending was but it makes you realize just how stupid this whole thing was. Bayley and Banks would go on to have their weird semi-feud and then partnership over the year while Naomi has done NOTHING important since this match. You have something here with Bayley and the bright idea is to do the HAHA WE TRICKED YOU ending? That’s been done to death in battle royals and it’s not like this was anything more than a surprise ending, which was really stupid given how Bayley had been searching for anything important for the last year. This actually ticked me off again so well done.

Jojo introduces Chloe and Hallie to sing America the Beautiful, describing them as the “future of music”. Well if Jojo says it then it must be true.

The opening video shows shots of parties in New Orleans and, just like in 2014, features a tagline of Let The Good Times Roll. They couldn’t come up with anything else in four years? And the theme song is still Celebrate by Kid Rock. Ok it’s a catchy song, but is there nothing else (or no one else) that they could use?

Yay pyro! And cool set with the Mardi Gras mask, which looked awesome all night long.

I was in the stadium for this show, sitting in the lower bowl and looking not quite directly at the far post on the right side opposite the hard camera.

Intercontinental Title: Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor vs. The Miz

Miz is defending and we get the new idea this year: 3D graphics for some of the entrances, including Miz who gets the Miz logo and various words to describe him, including MOVIE STAR. Miz sends the Miztourage to the back because he wants to do this himself for his newborn daughter. The weird part is you couldn’t see those in the stadium (obviously) but you could see them on the screens around the building, which made your head snap around a few times.

Balor isn’t the Demon here, but instead comes out with a bunch of LGBT people in rainbow Balor Club shirts labeled FOR EVERYONE. If nothing else, it’s awesome to see the stadium doing the Balor pose at once. This was set up with both guys beating Miz in one night, because Balor beating Miz after Miz had a long match with Rollins is totally the same thing.

They all go for the way too early rollups to start with Miz being sent outside. That means Rollins can miss a Stomp on Balor but a superkick to the ribs works just fine. Balor sends Rollins outside though and it’s the big running flip dive onto both of them for the first major pop of the night. Back in and basement dropkick gives Balor two on Miz but Rollins is back in with a high crossbody.

Miz finally gets to do something other than get beaten up as we look at Cena in the crowd again. Rollins grabs a double Blockbuster for two on Miz but he’s right back up with a knee to the ribs (not face Cole). The chinlock goes on, which shouldn’t be the case less than four minutes into a triple threat. Back up and a neckbreaker gets two on Miz as they’re just trading moves until we get to the big stuff. Another chinlock seems to annoy Balor so he gets up again and hits the double stomp to Miz’s ribs.

Rollins is back in for a Sling Blade to Balor, setting up a suicide dive to Balor and Miz. A superkick drops Balor again but Miz comes in with a DDT for two. Miz goes with the strategy by bending Balor’s knee around the ropes and slapping on the Figure Four. The frog splash from Rollins (from out of nowhere for an awesome visual) breaks it up and all three of them head outside.

Balor escapes the barricade powerbomb and dropkicks them both into the barricade instead. Back in again and 1916 gets two on Rollins but Miz breaks up the Coup de Grace. Instead of the Tower of Doom though it’s the buckle bomb to Miz and a superplex into the Falcon Arrow to Balor. The Skull Crushing Finale gives Miz two on Rollins and they’re all down again.

Balor does his hop over the ropes in the corner but gets crotched for trying the Coup de Grace again. It’s just not working this time dude. Miz goes up top with Balor and catches a springboarding Rollins with something close to a super Skull Crushing Finale. Balor breaks it up with a Coup de Grace and hits a second on Miz but the Stomp breaks that up too. Another Stomp hits Miz to give Rollins the pin and the title at 15:37.

Rating: B-. This might have been a few minutes too long but Rollins winning was a fine call as he’s more than over enough and kind of fits the Workrate Champion idea to perfection. Miz can come back and break the all time days record later and Balor is over no matter what. Not a great match, but a very hot opener and the fans were into everything here.

We recap the Smackdown Women’s Title match, which is billed as the BIGGEST WOMEN’S MATCH IN WRESTLEMANIA HISTORY. My how times change. Anyway Charlotte is the queen of everything and Asuka won the Royal Rumble to earn this shot. It’s absolutely a dream match with Charlotte being Charlotte and Asuka still being undefeated.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Asuka

Charlotte is defending and gets the full Ric Flair theme song, complete with a HHH from Wrestlemania XXX inspired entrance, meaning soldiers to help her off a throne and take her robe. Asuka on the other hand gets the CGI masks with rainbow colored lines surrounding them, which look cool on screen but live….not so much. They lock up to start and take turns flipping out of wristlocks for an early standoff.

Charlotte loads up a monkey flip but instead trips the leg for a failed Figure Eight attempt. You can feel the intensity here and it’s working well so far. Some chops to the chest (and one to the face) have Asuka in trouble but she’s right back with a hip attack to knock Charlotte outside. Back in and it’s time to start in on the arm but Charlotte gets in a backbreaker into an STO. Charlotte uses a Backpack Stunner to get out of a sleeper and a knee to the back of the head keeps Asuka in trouble.

It’s enough trouble for Charlotte to go up top for the moonsault….which is countered into a triangle for a sweet escape. Charlotte reverses into a Boston crab until Asuka makes the rope. A sliding kick to the face knocks Charlotte backwards and it’s back to the arm as Asuka continues to follow her game plan. They head to the apron with Asuka suplexing her out to the floor in a good looking crash. Sometimes you need to just go with a big spot like that and it worked very well.

Back in and they stare each other down until Asuka just erupts with strikes to the face. A missile dropkick gets two and Asuka stomps on the back. Charlotte is fine enough for the chops to catch Asuka on top and it’s a super Spanish Fly for two with the fans getting much more into things in a hurry. Natural Selection is countered into something like an Octopus Hold from Asuka’s back for a cool change of pace.

Charlotte tries to flip out and into the Figure Eight but Asuka kicks her in the head for a block. Well that’s certainly to the point. The Asuka Lock is blocked and Charlotte hits a very good spear for two more as the fans are WAY into this. With nothing else working, Charlotte goes to the Figure Eight and bridges up with one arm….and Asuka taps at 13:05 in a shocker.

Rating: A-. I don’t get shocked by results very often but I was actually stunned to see how this went. I would have bet money on Asuka walking out as champion here but Charlotte winning was far from a ridiculous result. Now the problem is what this did to Asuka, as she only started to recover from the loss nearly a year later. Charlotte would lose the title to Carmella two days later, bringing some dark days to the belt. This however was anything but dark, with an outstanding match between two stars.

Post match Asuka gets the mic and says Charlotte was ready for her in the ultimate sign of respect.

With Charlotte on the ramp and Asuka in the ring, a referee tells Cena something that makes him get out of his seat and run up the ramp. You really couldn’t wait until the women were gone so they could have the full moment?

US Title: Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Randy Orton vs. Rusev

Orton is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Aiden English (now bald, meaning he shaved his head since the end of the battle royal when he had hair) handles Rusev’s entrance and we get my favorite shot every year: a closeup of someone with the camera swinging around to show the stadium crowd in front of them. There’s something so cool about seeing just how big of a stage they’re really on. Anyway, Rusev is crazy over and easily the crowd favorite. Does anyone else see an issue with Orton’s music saying “I hear voices in my head” while his Titantron says IN MY VEINS?

While you think about that, Orton and Mahal are sent outside, leaving Rusev to dropkick (yes dropkick) Roode to the floor. A RUSEV DAY Cannonball off the apron takes Orton and Mahal down again but Roode is back in with a Blockbuster for two on Rusev. The other two get back in and it’s Mahal getting beaten up by Orton and Roode before being tossed right back to the floor. Orton hits the top rope superplex on Roode with Rusev and Mahal diving back in for the save.

That’s enough for Mahal to ask Rusev for a partnership but Rusev doesn’t even bother waiting before hitting Mahal with a spinning belly to back suplex for two. Roode makes it worse by busting Mahal’s spine and hitting the GLORIOUS pose, only to have Orton make a save this time.

That leaves Orton alone in the ring and it’s the hanging DDT on Rusev. The RKO hits English, Rusev and Mahal so it’s Roode making a save of his own. Roode blocks the RKO and plants Orton with the Glorious DDT as Mahal saves. The Machka Kick drops Mahal but Sunil Singh offers a distraction, letting Mahal hit the Khallas for the pin on Rusev at 8:14. You could literally feel the energy go out of the crowd.

Rating: D+. There was some hard work in there but this was the definition of Vince saying screw the audience because it’s all about what I want. Rusev was one of the most popular guys in the company and had been for months but instead we get Mahal, who was an all time bomb as WWE Champion getting to pin Rusev.

It’s not like there was even a long term plan as Mahal would lose the title a mere eight days later. Rusev would indeed get the title nearly nine months later, after his popularity had fallen way down, meaning it was acceptable to give the fans what they want. This really hurt the show and it’s going to be hard to recover.

We recap Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle vs. HHH/Stephanie McMahon and yeah I think this might help the recovery process. After being at Wrestlemania XXXI and attacking Stephanie, Rousey made her official WWE debut at the Royal Rumble earlier in the year. She wanted to go to Wrestlemania and since she was (at the time) the most dominant female UFC fighter of all time, Stephanie wanted to mold her into a WWE star.

Angle, who had been screwed over by Stephanie and HHH before, warned Ronda that they would mess with her too. That didn’t sit well with Rousey, who beat both of them up on the way to this mixed tag match. Naturally we got a lot of Stephanie workout videos because she’s STEPHANIE and that makes her some wrestling legend. It’s sickening, and I was waiting on her to survive the armbar in the match. It was clear that this was going to be full of smoke and mirrors, but the question is how well Rousey is going to do in her debut. This is one of the main events of the show and something a lot of people really wanted to see.

Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle vs. HHH/Stephanie McMahon

HHH and Stephanie come out on matching motorcycles (flanked by four women on their own motorcycles), with Stephanie’s biker look (including the leather pants) making me a lot less annoyed at her. Cole: “Even though Stephanie is a former Women’s Champion, this is her Wrestlemania in-ring debut!” WWE pretending that Stephanie was a wrestler is one of their more interesting character tweaks. Rousey gets a huge reaction and of course smiles at the crowd, as is her custom. Cole talks about two people starting in UFC and coming to WWE: Ken Shamrock and now Rousey. So they’re not Dan Severn fans either?

The fans are WAY behind Rousey as they stare each other down in the middle. Stephanie shoves Rousey in the face because Stephanie just never learns. A hair pull doesn’t prove to be the brightest idea either so Stephanie bails to the apron so the guys can start us off. Angle (very badly) punches at HHH and the beating is on in the corner. A hammerlock keeps HHH does as we’re just waiting for this to explode as it should be doing.

Stephanie manages to lure Rousey in though and Angle gets low bridged to the floor. Cole calls this “that McMahon instinct” as the worship is already a lot to take. Angle gets sent into the steps and Rousey is about to lose it because she can’t intervene. Some more cheap shots from Stephanie keep Rousey angry and a spinebuster gives HHH two. A front facelock keeps Angle down but he gets a boot up in the corner.

Stephanie chokes Angle and HHH nearly hits her by mistake but it’s still too early for the hot tag. A suplex drops HHH again but Stephanie runs around and pulls Rousey off the apron. HHH gets whipped over the corner for the real crash and you can see the panic in Stephanie. The hot tag brings in Rousey (Graves: “CALL THE COPS!!!”) who SPRINTS over to Stephanie and throws her down with a suplex. After the required tug of the shorts, Rousey unloads with rights and lefts in the corner as the fans are already losing it. The release throw sends Stephanie back into the corner and Graves is terrified.

The fans want and receive the armbar….but Stephanie blocks it. Yes the hold that UFC fighters were powerless again is a simple block for Stephanie as the crowd’s soul is slapped down again. Stephanie blocks it a second time and rakes the eyes (Cole: “Complete manipulation of the rules!” Ignore the complete manipulation of reality and focus on those rules man.”), setting up a double arm crank as the fans try to process that they’re really doing this.

Stephanie even mocks Rousey, who grabs her by the throat and hits the swinging Samoan drop for two with HHH pulling the referee. Rousey: “I’m going to continue beating up your wife ok?” HHH pulls her out as well, apparently not a fan of such chatty opponents. Angle is back up and sends HHH over the announcers’ table but gets thrown onto the Spanish table. After a slow crawl, HHH is back in and sees Rousey, who is ready to fight. HHH puts the referee in the corner and sizes Rousey up and the beating is on in the corner.

A legsweep looks to set up the swinging Samoan drop but Stephanie makes a save. I know I’m not a big HHH fan a lot of the time but he just made Rousey look like the biggest star in the history of the division. Rousey chases Stephanie outside though and has to adjust the gear again, allowing Stephanie to post her. Angle is back in for some belly to belly suplexes and the rolling Germans but the ankle lock is countered. The Pedigree is countered as well and HHH gets catapulted into the corner, setting up the Angle Slam for two with no one making a save.

Stephanie breaks up the ankle lock and yells at Angle, who catches the boot to the ribs. HHH has to save his wife and Pedigrees Angle for two with Rousey making her own save this time. With Angle down, HHH loads Rousey up for a powerbomb but gets hurricanranaed (!) into the armbar on HHH (I completely bought that as the finish live) until Stephanie grabs a choke.

That’s reversed into an armbar and Stephanie has the gall to block it AGAIN. Angle ankle locks HHH, who rolls Angle into Rousey for the real save. Rousey and Angle get posted and it’s time for stereo Pedigrees, both of which are broken up. The armbar is slapped on again and this time Rousey uses the leverage to pull back and Stephanie finally taps at 20:37.

Rating: A. That’s not even on a sliding scale because Rousey knocked that out harder than she knocked out Alexis Davis. She looked like she’s been doing this for ten years and had one of the best debut matches I’ve ever seen. Everyone else was nailing it too and I got completely sucked into it both live and watching it back because all of the stuff was that good. Don’t have Stephanie block the armbar so often and this is an A+ easy.

That was the only downgrade, even though you knew full well it was coming. To be fair though, Stephanie did tap out clean in the end so it wasn’t the most ridiculous thing ever. Well the first part was but not the finish. After this, how can you now see Rousey as the star that she already was?

Stephanie has to be helped out, as she should. She would get armbarred again the next night for a bonus.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Bludgeon Brothers vs. Usos

Kofi wastes no time in hitting Trouble in Paradise on Jey but Harper pulls him outside before the count. Jimmy gets sent into the steps and Harper crashes against Big E. against the barricade. With no one else to beat up, Woods gets powerbombed against the post, leaving Rowan to splash Kofi and Jey back inside. The mostly done Jey is thrown outside and Big E. gets knocked off the apron. Jimmy comes back in for a pair of superkicks and Jey is back up for stereo kicks to Harper’s head in the corner.

A jumping enziguri hits Harper and a superkick knocks Rowan to the floor, setting up a double suplex on the outside. Harper catches Kofi with a swinging release Boss Man Slam but gets caught with a double superkick on top. Rowan breaks up the Tower of Doom so Kofi charges at Harper, only to get powerbombed by Rowan. An assisted super sitout powerbomb finishes Kofi to give Harper and Rowan the titles at 5:55.

Rating: C-. The time cuts aside, this wasn’t the worst match in the world with the Usos and the New Day giving it all they had against the monsters but not being able to stop them. The Bludgeon Brothers were the first time a team other than the Usos or New Day had held the belts in over a year so this was long, long overdue and the right call.

Here’s what’s coming to the Network, most of which actually happened for a change.

Here’s a fired up John Cena for his match with Undertaker. This comes after weeks of Cena calling out Undertaker for Wrestlemania because Undertaker seemingly retired after last year’s show. Cena came off as the biggest jerk in this feud and acting like Undertaker owed him something. There was no confirmation that Undertaker was going to be here, hence him sitting in the crowd earlier.

That’s the other stupid part of the whole thing: Cena kept talking about how he had no path to Wrestlemania, because JOHN CENA couldn’t get a match. He gave some lame excuse about how this was the only match that mattered and it didn’t do a thing to make up for the consistently annoying lines from commentary about Cena possibly being left out of Wrestlemania. I get what they were going for, but come on already.

Anyway Cena is ready to go but here’s a referee to say not so fast. Cena is disappointed and the lights go out. It’s only Elias though and Cena heads back to his seat as Elias sings about it being his night. That’s enough for Cena who runs in and beats Elias up before looking disappointed again. Cole: “I guess that would be a Wrestlemania moment right?” He goes up the ramp but stops….and the lights go out again. A spotlight hits the ring with Undertaker’s hat, coat and boots, which are hit by lighting (looks awful on the Network, looked great when you didn’t see it coming in the stadium. They’re gone, and the gong strikes.

Undertaker vs. John Cena

I know he’s been old for ten years, but that entrance live, especially in the stadium, is chilling. Cole of course can’t SHUT UP, saying everything he can think of, including calling them the two greatest performers of all time. Undertaker goes straight at him in the corner to start and hits the jumping clothesline. Old School connects and Undertaker hits some running clotheslines in the corner. Snake Eyes into the big boot into the big leg have Cena rocked but the chokeslam is escaped.

Cena’s belly to back connects but Undertaker sits up before the Shuffle, making Cena fall down in fear. The chokeslam into the Tombstone finishes Cena at 2:48. The more I think of this one, the more I like it. Cena ran his mouth for so long and Undertaker annihilated him here, just as he should have. While a lot of people will be annoyed at not getting a full form match between these two, I’d rather they do this than have Undertaker look back in a fifteen minute match.

Video on the Hall of Fame ceremony.

Here’s the Hall of Fame Class, which really doesn’t need to air on the show. They already get a whole evening to themselves. Do we really need ten minutes on Wrestlemania too?

Jeff Jarrett (eh sure, though it’s still weird to see him here)

Mark Henry (still not sure on him, though his documentary was great)

Hillbilly Jim (I’m a Kentucky boy but come on)

Ivory (she looks better now than she did during her career)

Jarius JJ Robertson (Warrior Award)

Dudley Boyz (yep)

Goldberg (yep, though I’d call the Dudleys more appropriate headliners)

Oh and Kid Rock, this year’s celebrity inductee, wasn’t there because he had a concert.

We recap Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens. Bryan somehow overcame his injuries and returned to the ring in something I still can barely believe. Owens and Zayn had tormented Smackdown boss Shane for months and then attacked Bryan for firing them the night he was announced as being cleared. Therefore it’s a tag match with Owens and Zayn fighting for their jobs. Yeah that’s all well and good. The point here is Bryan actually getting back in the ring, which is almost impossible to imagine.

Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens vs. Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon

Owens and Zayn beat McMahon up on Smackdown to cover for Shane’s legitimate medical issues. Chris Jericho was apparently on red phone alert for this show with a plan to have him fly in from a Fozzy show on the corporate jet in case Shane couldn’t make the show. Bryan gets a special entrance with a weird military/Terminator themed video showing a target on the Superdome before looking at the YES Movement spreading throughout the world in a cool moment. You can feel the emotions in Bryan as he comes down the aisle and it’s an amazing sight to behold.

Owens and Zayn jump the good guys from behind and Shane gets thrown over the barricade. Bryan takes a Helluva kick and the apron powerbomb to leave him laying. Medics come out to check on Bryan as yes, they actually are trying to stretch this out even further. Shane is willing to fight on his own and unloads with the really bad punches to Owens in the corner.

There’s the jumping back elbow but Shane grabs his stomach due to the diverticulitis (the same thing that ruined Lesnar’s UFC career). A DDT drops Sami but Owens gets in a shot to the stomach to cut Shane off. We settle down into a regular match with Sami elbowing the ribs and going for one cover after another. Owens steps on the ribs and applauds Bryan for such a great return. A t-bone suplex gives Sami two and a superkick into the Blue Thunder Bomb is good for the same. The fans don’t care about this whatsoever and there’s no reason for them to.

With Bryan STILL being tended to at ringside, it’s just a big waiting game until Bryan gets back up and makes the hot tag. The Helluva Kick misses in the corner and Sami gets tied in the Tree of Woe. Coast to Coast hits but Shane can’t follow up because of the stomach. Owens drops the frog splash on Shane but Bryan dives in for the save to bring the fans back to life. The hot tag is cut off though and we hit the chinlock to make the fans wait a little longer. A belly to back suplex gets Shane out of trouble though and there’s the tag, with Bryan taking his time before getting in for an awesome moment.

House is cleaned and it’s the moonsault over Sami into the running clothesline. Owens comes back in and Bryan gets them in opposite corners for alternating running dropkicks. Sami is back with a Helluva Kick for two on Bryan and Owens superkicks Shane to the floor. The Pop Up Powerbomb gets two more and Owens is shocked at the kickout. Shane dives onto Owens, leaving Sami to yell at Bryan for coming back and punch him in the face. That’s enough for Bryan and the fight is on, including the YES Kicks. The running knee sets up the YES Lock to make Sami tap at 15:24.

Rating: C+. This was two matches in one with the rather boring beatdown of Shane for the first half before Bryan came in and gave the fans exactly what they wanted for the second half. It was all about Bryan and that’s all it was supposed to be. The idea that he actually made it back to the ring is amazing and one of the most surprising stories you’ll ever see in wrestling. He deserved a big moment like this and that’s what we got here, albeit after Shane got in his own time of course.

Attendance announcement, with pyro because it’s Wrestlemania.

We recap Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss. They were friends, but Jax found out that Bliss was making fun of her behind her back. Jax went into monster mode and chased after Bliss and her friend Mickie James, setting up this match. Now there’s no reason this shouldn’t be about thirty seconds long, but it’s Wrestlemania and what matters is getting on the card and having a long match instead of doing what makes sense.

Raw Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax

Bliss, with James in her corner, is defending and is lowered down to the stage on a platform for a nice touch. We get the Big Match Intros and Bliss immediately backs up as she should. Jax gets smart and runs Mickie over before the bell rings to send her outside for a heck of a beatdown. Bliss tries to intervene and gets glared back to the ring, leaving James to take a Samoan drop on the floor.

We get back inside for the opening bell and Bliss slaps her in the face. That earns a scream from Nia so Bliss screams back in true scream queen fashion. A gorilla press slam has Bliss bailing to the floor and it’s time to leave, only to have Nia run her over again. Back in and Bliss pokes her in the eye before going after the knee in a smart move.

What’s not a smart move is this match already going nearly three minutes with Bliss getting in any significant offense. A basement dropkick keeps Jax in trouble but a guillotine choke is easily countered via an overhead belly to belly suplex. Jax goes shoulder first into the post as the fans are quiet all over again. Twisted Bliss to a standing Nia on the floor gives Bliss another knockdown, setting up the short DDT for two back inside.

Bliss yells at her so Nia tells her to shut up already and the destruction begins. Another poke to the eye is no sold and Bliss gets whipped hard into the buckles. Bliss goes to the eye again to get out of the Samoan drop but Jax drives her into the corner and then drops her. That’s not enough as it’s a super Samoan drop to give Jax the pin and the title at 9:02.

Rating: D-. What were they thinking here? The whole story was that Bliss was all talk and survived because of Nia but then she hangs with Nia for the better part of ten minutes? This should have been thirty seconds long with Bliss getting the title back later on (as she did in June) after coming back from getting squashed. Just a bad idea all around here, save for Jax FINALLY winning the title.

We recap AJ Styles defending the Smackdown World Title against Shinsuke Nakamura. They had a classic match in Japan and a lot of fans wanted to see it again in WWE. Nakamura won the Royal Rumble and the match was on, with both guys trying to get in the other’s head on the way to New Orleans. So yeah, they’re just going with “it’s a dream match” for the build, which works just fine.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Nakamura is challenging and gets played to the ring by Nita Strauss (awesome guitar player and rather gorgeous at the same time). The army of violinists and drummers help too. Since WWE can’t go more than five minutes without making some kind of a mistake, AJ is billed as Universal Champion. They lock up to start with Nakamura getting the better of it with some knees to the ribs.

Good Vibrations is blocked and AJ gets in his own knee before starting in on the back. Styles grabs a chinlock for a bit before dropkicking him to the floor. That’s not the best idea though as it’s a kick to the head to stagger Styles and the champ is in trouble for the first time. Nakamura’s middle rope kick to the face gets two and that’s a COME ON to set up the strikes to the face.

The running knee to the ribs in the corner gets two but AJ is right back with a belly to back faceplant. A sliding forearm into the pumphandle gutbuster gets two on Nakamura as they’re trading big spots. AJ’s springboard is countered into the Landslide (Samoan driver) for two but Nakamura needs a minute before following up. With nothing else working, Nakamura goes with the kicks, which are countered into the Calf Crusher.

Since it’s Nakamura, that’s reversed into a triangle choke, which AJ powers into something like a fisherman’s buster for another double knockdown. It’s Nakamura up first and trying a running knee in the corner but the bad knee hit the buckle instead. AJ is right back with a Phenomenal Forearm for two in the required kickout of the first finisher.

The springboard 450 hits knees and Nakamura grabs a small package for two of his own. They slug it out until AJ nails the Pele but can’t follow up, allowing Nakamura to knee him in the back of the head for a much nearer fall. The reverse exploder looks to set up the Kinshasa but AJ rolls through into the Styles Clash for the pin to retain at 20:21.

Rating: B+. This was close to being a classic but it’s really just a very good match instead. Part of the problem here is how late the match came in the show. The fans were starting to get worn down and there was only so much energy left in the people. Also it never quite got to the epic level that they were shooting for with Nakamura never really getting the close near falls that he needed to take it to another level. Still that, very good and worthy of a Wrestlemania title match.

We recap the Kickoff Show. This is another few minutes that could be cut off.

Raw Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Braun Strowman/???

The Bar is defending after Strowman won a battle royal to become #1 contenders despite not having a partner. Therefore the big question for over a month is who would the partner be. The Bar comes out on a Mardi Gras float, complete with people in large headed costumes for a cool visual. There’s no partner for Strowman, who breaks up the float before coming to the ring.

Strowman and the kid get in the ring where the kid is introduced as Nicholas (the son of referee John Cone). Cole: “This is really happening.” He’s never been more right. Oh and the search for a partner and introduction took about four and a half minutes, again because this show can just keep going. Strowman takes Sheamus into the corner with no problem to start before beating up Cesaro as well.

Nicholas is terrified (as he should be) as Cesaro dropkicks Strowman in the knee. A double suplex lets Sheamus drop a top rope knee, setting up an assisted swanton from Sheamus’ shoulders. Strowman comes back with a double crossbody and backdrops Sheamus over the top, bouncing him off the post in the process. To cap it off, Strowman tags Nicholas in. The kid is terrified and tags Strowman back in for the powerslam to Cesaro for the pin and the titles at 3:58.

Rating: F. I….what do you want from me here? This was an idea that completely failed because WWE had no idea what to do here and this is all they could do. Put Heath Slater or someone in there, or have Strowman do a rendition of Me And My Shadow and have him win it by himself. It was a joke that was literally forgotten the next night and stretched the show out even more because they couldn’t just cut this and put Strowman ANYWHERE else. I’m sure Matt Hardy had to win the battle royal right?

Wrestlemania 35 is in New York/Jersey. You don’t hear New Jersey mentioned here, but I guess it’s just implied.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns for the Universal Title. It’s the latest attempt to make Reigns feel like the mega star because the first few times didn’t take. Therefore he won the Elimination Chamber (beating Strowman after Strowman eliminated everyone else), THIS TIME FOR SURE! Lesnar has been champion for a year and barely ever defends the title, because that was so successful the first few times. Their fights over the last few weeks get the music video treatment.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns is challenging and WOW the fans are not happy to see him. To make it a little better, Brock drives him into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs, followed by the German suplexes. Reigns pops up with a Superman Punch to send Brock to the floor as they’re starting fast again. Back in and a clothesline knocks Lesnar over the top and out to the floor as the fans chant things to amuse themselves.

Lesnar catches him with a belly to belly on the floor and another one drops Reigns on his head. There’s the required CM PUNK chant and a third belly to belly sends Reigns face first into the announcers’ table because Brock didn’t realize how much room he had. Back in and Lesnar throws another German suplex, declaring it SUPLEX CITY B****. More suplexes ensue because that’s what Lesnar does in a big time match. Brock gets tired of that and loads up the announcers’ table but Reigns posts him for a much needed breather.

A spear puts Lesnar onto (not through) another table as the fans boo the heck out of this. Or maybe they’re mad about losing a beach ball. The Superman Punch into a pair of spears gets two and now the fans are definitely happy with a beach ball. Brock blocks a spear with a knee to the face that brings Graves out of his chair.

The first F5 gets two and virtually no reaction from the crowd. Another F5 gets another two and Lesnar seems to be getting angrier. To switch it up, another F5 gets another two and Lesnar seems to be getting angrier. The fans declare it boring so Lesnar takes him outside for the fourth F5 through the announcers’ table. Lesnar takes it back inside and stands there as the fans do something else in the crowd that goes from cheering to booing during the same closeup.

The fifth F5 gets two so Lesnar takes the gloves off at Heyman’s orders. The fans call it awful as Lesnar hammers away to bust Reigns open. It’s quite the gusher but Reigns slips out of the F5 and hits a pair of spears for two. Another spear is countered into the sixth F5 to retain the title at 15:51.

Rating: D+. Well of course he does. The problem here is that there is good action in the match but it’s too much of the same stuff and the fans having none of it that took away its value. Couple that with knowing that we’re just waiting on even more Reigns title shots and promos about needing to be champion and there was no way this was going to work. The fans (including myself) were done with this WAY before the match started and that’s all there was to it.

Reigns gets cleaned up and we get the long video package. Back in the stadium, Reigns leaves and the show ends. I stood around for a long time while this was going on because the video doesn’t play in the stadium and it wasn’t clear if the show was over or not.

Overall Rating: C-. I know I (and a lot of other people) say it over and over but it’s just too long. There is a limit to how long you can sit watching wrestling in person or at home and Wrestlemania has blown past that for years now. At some point you just stop caring and there’s very little that can be done to fix such a problem. They need to do something because this isn’t going to work no matter what they do. Cut out a lot of stuff and it’s a great show, but the whole package didn’t work.

There’s a lot of good stuff in here, such as the opener, AJ vs. Nakamura, Charlotte vs. Asuka, the mixed tag and a few other moments here and there. The problem is there’s so much other stuff that either doesn’t work (the main event, the Raw Women’s Title match and the Raw Tag Team Titles are great places to start) that it really doesn’t work. Get rid of some of that and the show is that much better.

Overall, it comes down to the problem of WWE not listening to the fans. They can throw out as much good content as they want, but if you do it to annoy the fans (the US Title match) or to stretch things out even further past its expiration point (the Universal Title), it’s going to come back to mess things up. There is so much on here that fans don’t want to see and WWE just won’t fix it.

That doesn’t help the length either. If you have a show where the final match is something the fans do not want to see, you’re going to have them sitting there, already annoyed at other things in the show, for hours waiting to see something that only WWE seems interested in. How is that supposed to be appealing for over seven hours? Cut it down, give us something else to cheer for, and remember that Wrestlemania is supposed to be about the best of the best, not everyone on the roster.

Ratings Comparison

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D-

Redo: D+

Mustafa Ali vs. Cedric Alexander

Original: B-

Redo: B

Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal

Original: D+

Redo: F+

Seth Rollins vs. The Miz vs. Finn Balor

Original: B

Redo: B-

Charlotte vs. Asuka

Original: A-

Redo: A

Jinder Mahal vs. Rusev vs. Randy Orton vs. Bobby Roode

Original: D

Redo: D+

Stephanie McMahon/HHH vs. Kurt Angle/Ronda Rousey

Original: A-

Redo: A

New Day vs. Bludgeon Brothers vs. Usos

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. John Cena

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss

Original: D+

Redo: D-

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. AJ Styles

Original: B

Redo: B+

Braun Strowman/Nicholas vs. The Bar

Original: F

Redo: F

Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C-

This is an interesting one as most of the matches are within the same ballpark but I liked the show a lot better the first time around. Maybe the good was more fun just after the show, but this really didn’t do it for me nearly as well on another viewing. It’s watchable, but definitely not a very good show.

Here’s the original if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/04/14/wrestlemania-xxxiv-the-same-old-story/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2021 (2022 Redo): It’s What They Needed

Royal Rumble 2021
Date: January 31, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Samoa Joe, Tom Phillips

A year has passed and a lot of things have changed, including the lack of a Thunderdome. This is one of the last major shows without fans and it is going to be weird looking back at how different everything was just a year ago. I’m not sure what to expect from the card but the Rumble is always cool to see. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Asuka/Charlotte vs. Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax

Asuka/Charlotte are defending as Baszler and Jax’s never ending argument continues. I haven’t heard them argue yet, but since that was all the ever did, I’m going to take a guess. Before the match, Charlotte talks about how she isn’t worried about her dad and Lacey Evans because it’s time to defend the titles. Charlotte headlocks Baszler to start and then runs her over with a shoulder.

Asuka comes in to strike away but gets kicked down for her efforts. It’s off to Jax, who has to break out of an octopus hold, allowing Charlotte to come back in for a sunset flip. The fast tags continue as Asuka comes back in but gets stomped down in the wrong corner. Jax grabs the cobra clutch but is smart enough to let it go and knock Charlotte off the apron before Asuka can get over to the corner.

They go up top and it’s a sunset bomb to plant Jax down hard. Baszler is right there though to cut off the hot tag attempt, because the villains are smart here. Jax’s sitout powerbomb gets two on Asuka with Charlotte making a save. That’s enough for the hot tag to Charlotte and house is cleaned.

A double Natural Selection puts down both challengers but Baszler is back with a knee to the face for two on Charlotte. Asuka takes Jax down on the floor but it’s a top rope moonsault from Charlotte to drop them both again. Cue Ric Flair and Lacey Evans, with the latter saving Baszler from the Figure Eight with a loaded Woman’s Right. Jax adds the legdrop for the pin and the titles at 10:33.

Rating: C. Wow, a Ric Flair/Charlotte story. We haven’t seen one of those in a bit. This was little more than a way to set up Evans vs. Charlotte, which never actually happened due to Evans’ pregnancy. It was a pretty dark period for the titles as well, as Jax and Baszler dominated the belts for a long time and they stopped having any meaning that they had in the first place. I do kind of like the nothing Kickoff Show matches too, as cramming in some kind of a story on here isn’t always the most fun. Not a bad match though, and seeing Charlotte lose is tends to be cathartic.

The opening video follows the show’s comic book theme, with people having to answer the call to accept their destiny.

Raw World Title: Goldberg vs. Drew McIntyre

McIntyre is defending after Goldberg accused him of disrespecting legends in a segment that didn’t seem to go as planned. McIntyre hits a Glasgow Kiss and spear before the bell to send Goldberg outside. Goldberg hits a spear through the barricade as the bell hasn’t rung yet. Back in and the bell rings, with McIntyre hitting a Claymore for two about ten seconds in. Two straight spears give Goldberg two and the Jackhammer (minus most of the jack and most of the hammering) gets the same. Another spear misses and McIntyre finishes with the Claymore at 2:31. And that’s it for Goldberg for now, thank goodness.

Respect is shown post match.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Carmella

Sasha is defending and Carmella has Reginald, her sommelier, in her corner. The threat of a Bank Statement sends Carmella straight to the floor and it’s time for a breather. Back in and Banks hits a chop but a Reginald distraction lets Carmella knock her off the apron. Some elbows to the face back inside set up the figure four necklock over the ropes, which burns through most of Carmella’s offense.

The chinlock goes on for all of a few seconds, with Banks fighting up and hitting a middle rope Meteora. That bangs up the knee though and Carmella gets creative by tying Banks’ hair in the rope. Since that isn’t the smartest way to win a match, she has to let Banks go, meaning the comeback is on.

A slingshot knee in the corner has Carmella in trouble but she sends Banks outside. Reginald catches her, earning himself a hurricanrana. That’s enough for an ejection, but Carmella wipes Banks out with a suicide dive. Back in and the Code of Silence is broken up as well, allowing Banks to hit a knee to the face. A low superkick gives Carmella two but Banks pulls her into the Bank Statement to retain at 10:25.

Rating: C. They were working hard, but I’m only going to be able to buy Carmella being so much of a threat to Banks. The title wasn’t going to change hands so close to Wrestlemania as Banks was all but guaranteed to be in a major match, meaning this wasn’t going to have that much drama. Carmella was trying, but this was a matter of time rather than a question of who was winning.

Big E. fires up Xavier Woods for the Royal Rumble but Sami Zayn comes in to complain about the conspiracy against him. Kofi Kingston comes in and the trio laughs Sami off.

Here is Bad Bunny, with Booker T. (as GI Bro), to perform his song Booker T.

Rumble By The Numbers video. That never gets old:

1130 entrants
30 winners
18 winners have gone on to win the title at Wrestlemania
4 consecutive winners have won the title at Wrestlemania
1 was Shawn Michaels’ entry number when he went all the way
1 second is the record for fastest elimination, held by Santino Marella
17 Royal Rumble appearances for Kane
43 eliminations for Kane
13 eliminations for Brock Lesnar and Braun Strowman, the most in any given year
1:16:06 that Daniel Bryan lasted in the Greatest Royal Rumble
8 women eliminated by Bianca Belair and Shayna Baszler
4 women who have competed in the men’s match
3 back to back winners (Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin, Shawn Michaels)
23 years since a consecutive winner
3 wins for Steve Austin

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals with Bayley (who has shaved COLE in the back of her head, continuing their one sided feud) is in at #1 and the returning Naomi is in at #2. The trash talk doesn’t work on Naomi, who staggers her a bit and dances. A kick to the head head out of the corner sets up the Rear View on Bayley but it’s too early for a toss. Bayley gets in a few kicks of her own and it’s Bianca Belair in at #3. Belair starts fast with a spinebuster and handspring moonsault to crush Bayley. Naomi gets sent to the apron, with Bayley sending Belair out there with her.

Billie Kay, still with her resume is in at #4 but sits in on commentary instead of getting in. Belair barely hangs on as Shotzi Blackheart is in at #5. Kay likes the tank enough that she goes over to offer her a headshot but Blackheart scares her back to commentary. The four inside actually pair off and it’s Shayna Baszler in at #6 as the entrances seem to be going fast.

Baszler knocks Kay down before getting in and the brawling continues as Toni Storm is in at #7 (and also passes on Kay). Naomi and Storm trade hip attacks to the face and Baszler tosses Blackheart for the first elimination. Jillian Hall, looking like she hasn’t aged a day, is in at #8 and she actually takes Kay up on her offer. Kay gets in too and it’s time to double team Naomi.

Ruby Riott is in at #9 and gets to beat up Storm, who cuts her down with a German suplex. The brawling continues until Victoria makes another surprise return at #10, giving us Bayley, Naomi, Belair, Kay, Baszler, Storm, Hall, Riott and Victoria. The spinning side slam plants Riott but Naomi dropkicks Victoria to the apron. That just lets her hit the slingshot legdrop and it’s Peyton Royce in at #11. We get an IIconics reunion so the team can beat up Naomi, but Kay won’t do the pose because she wants to be Riott’s friend too.

Victoria hits a Widow’s Peak on Royce and it’s Santana Garrett in at #12. The brawling near the ropes gives us more near eliminations as the ring is getting too full. Liv Morgan is in at #13 and it’s her turn to beat up a bunch of people, while also joining forces with Ruby. Kay tosses Jillian but gets eliminated by Riott and it’s Rhea Ripley in at #14 (Lawler: “RHEA RIPLEY??? RHEA RIPLEY???”) to toss Storm. Victoria tries the Tarantula for some reason and gets choked out by Baszler.

Ripley kicks Garrett out and it’s Charlotte in at #15. Riott tries to German suplex Peyton off the apron, allowing Bayley to powerbomb Riott out without much trouble. Dana Brooke is in at #16 and hits a top rope flip dive onto a bunch of people, who were nice enough to stand there in one place.

Morgan tries to get rid of Bayley but gets tossed instead as Torrie Wilson is in at #17 (Lawler approves). Torrie gets in some of that Hall of Fame offense with a clothesline and a suplex as Ripley powerbombs Brooke onto the apron for the elimination. Lacey Evans (to Ric Flair’s music) is in at #18 and she has even stolen the robe Charlotte wore to the ring. For some reason, Evans poses in front of Charlotte, who jumps her from behind and brawls to the floor (neither are elimination). Charlotte throws Royce out to blow off some steam and Baszler knocks Torrie out.

Mickie James is in at #19 and Bayley is tossed during her entrance. Mickie and Charlotte have a showdown with Mickie snapping off a hurricanrana out of the corner. It’s Nikki Cross in at #20, giving us Naomi, Belair, Baszler, Ripley, Charlotte, Evans, James and Cross as the field has thinned a good bit. Cross gets to clean house (WWE will instantly begin planning ways to ruin this as soon as possible).

Alicia Fox is in at #21 but here is 24/7 Champion R-Truth to run from the usual gang of idiots. Fox pins him to win the title and it’s Mandy Rose in at #22. Ross tosses Fox and Truth gets his title back, meaning the chase is on again, because this stupid gag has to continue. Dakota Kai is in at #23 and goes after Ripley and it’s time to brawl on the ropes.

Evans actually Woman’s Rights James out and it’s Carmella, with Reginald, in at #24. Kai and Rose are both out as Carmella isn’t sure about getting inside. Once she does, Reginald has to save her from Cross’ elimination attempt, allowing Carmella to superkick Cross out. Tamina is in at #25 and superkicks Reginald, who can’t save Carmella from being eliminated as well. We get the Ripley vs. Tamina showdown that no one was asking for and Belair kicks Naomi out…but her feet don’t touch. Naomi grabs Belair’s hair and pulls herself back up, because Naomi and Kofi Kingston have to have their big save spot every year.

Lana is in at #26 and goes after Ripley as commentary recaps the Lana Goes Through A Table Every Week deal. Alexa Bliss, still under Bray Wyatt’s influence, is in at #27 so everyone jumps on her. Then the video screens go out and she transforms, only to have Ripley toss her out in a funny bit. Ember Moon is in at #28 and comes in with the Eclipse to Baszler.

A double middle rope Codebreaker hits Tamina and Evans as Nia Jax is in at #29. Baszler knocks out Evans and Jax tosses Moon. Naomi is out as well, with Tamina being tossed after her. Jax and Baszler already get in a fight (BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THEY DO!) with Jax tossing her out. Lana goes after Jax and low bridges her out as Natalya is in at #30.

The final grouping is Belair, Ripley, Charlotte, Lana and Natalya, which is less than I would have expected. Hold on though as Baszler and Jax beat up Natalya and get back in to jump Lana. Natalya hugs Lana, who is stupid enough to fall for it, and gets tossed out to get us down to four. Belair gets punched down in the corner and Natalya German suplexes Ripley. Natalya talks trash to Ripley on the apron and gets tossed by Belair to get us down to three. Charlotte gets double teamed down but comes back with a suplex to Belair.

The sign pointing sets up a slugout between Charlotte and Ripley until Charlotte is sent to the apron. Belair and Ripley trade shots to knock Charlotte out and we’re down to two. They waste no time in fighting to the apron, where they both wind up sitting and then get back in. Ripley sends her to the apron but Belair is back in for a double hair takedown. The audio machine thinks this is awesome as they get back up, with neither being able to hit a finisher. Ripley misses a shot though and Belair clotheslines her out for the win at 58:49.

Rating: C+. The women’s Royal Rumble is a great thing and shows you how far women’s wrestling has come, but at the same time it shows you how far it has to go. The top of the division is good, but the Rumbles have required a lot of nostalgia entrants and it makes for some long matches. They’re still good and the bigger names do well, but there are a lot of times where I was rolling my eyes at someone like Torrie or Jillian or Mandy coming in because we needed someone to fill in a spot.

Now that being said, this was the kind of match that the women’s division has been needing. The Four Horsewomen have dominated the division for such a long time and it was dying for some fresh blood. The final two here were that fresh blood and Belair won to give her the big moment. That’s how this needed to go and it worked well, especially the drama of wondering who would pull it off.

Post match Belair breaks down in tears and thanks her family for helping her get here. Now it’s off to Wrestlemania.

Miz and John Morrison go to see Bad Bunny and offer a collaboration. That’s going to be a no, which doesn’t go well for the two of them. They don’t think much of Booker T. either, and of course he is right behind them.

The Kickoff Show panel talks about the women’s Royal Rumble.

We look at the Women’s Tag Team Title match on the Kickoff Show.

R-Truth comes up to the Kickoff Show panel and Peter Rosenberg wins the 24/7 Title. JBL: “This could be the worst event in wrestling history.” Corey Graves: “David Arquette is finally off the hook.”

We recap Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns for the Universal Title. Reigns has had to cheat/use the Usos to survive against Owens, so tonight it is Last Man standing. This was a great run for Owens, who was looking more motivated than he had in years. This also involved Adam Pearce almost having a title match before Owens got the match instead via card subject to change. For some reason this just kept going and wasn’t all that great.

Smackdown World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is challenging in a Last Man Standing match and Paul Heyman is here with Reigns. They slug it out at the bell and Reigns hits a Superman Punch in less than thirty seconds. Owens beats the count and cuts off the spear, setting up the Pop Up Powerbomb. They head outside with Owens posting him but getting sent into the steps for his efforts. A spear drops Owens on the floor but he is up at seven.

Reigns hits him with the steps a few times and they fight beyond the barricade. Owens manages a superkick to get himself out of trouble and now the steps hit Reigns. They fight behind the video screens, where Reigns finds a chair to batter Owens some more. Another superkick gets Owens out of trouble again and he chairs Reigns in the legs for a change. Reigns fights up again and kicks at Owens’ legs, setting up a chair shot to the back.

A Stunner gets Owens out of trouble but Reigns is back with a Superman Punch. Owens gets tossed off the platform and through some tables, which really needed a crowd for the extra pop. That’s good for a nine and they fight backstage, where Owens staggers towards a practice ring. Cue Reigns to run him over with a golf cart (I’m sure that was AEW inspired) but Owens is up at nine again. Owens takes him down and unloads, setting up a powerbomb onto a backup announcers’ table.

A frog splash off a ladder puts Reigns through the ladder for another nine count. Owens hits him in the face with a ladder to put Reigns on another table….then climbs onto a raised forklift platform for a Swanton. Somehow Reigns is up and starts crawling away, only to be dragged into the Gorilla position and then back into the arena. A desperation Superman Punch sets up a spear to send Owens through the set but he rolls off the stage to beat the count.

Reigns says he can’t quit and pulls out some handcuffs but Owens grabs the Stunner. That means Reigns can be handcuffed to a lighting rig so Reigns has to beat up the referee to break the count. A low blow takes Owens down so here is Paul Heyman with a key. Another referee comes in to count….and then just stops, as Heyman takes well over a minute to get the key to work. With that nonsense out of the way, Reigns grabs the guillotine to knock Owens out and retain the title at 24:56.

Rating: B. It was a good brawl and Owens got in a lot of shots but that ending was a complete botch. Reigns could have hit the referee or something but instead the referee looked like he got distracted by a good looking taco. At least the rest of the match worked well though, as that could have been a near disaster. Reigns winning wasn’t the biggest shock, but this is going to be it for Owens, as he has lost multiple times now. At least this was pretty awesome while it lasted, save for the misfire at the end.

Men’s Royal Rumble

Ninety second intervals again with Edge in at #1 and Randy Orton is in at #2 because these two are joined at the hip. Edge jumps him in the aisle to start the fight before going inside for the bell. They’re right back on the floor with Orton being rammed into various things. Orton is knocked across the announcers’ table and it’s Sami Zayn in at #3. The three of them actually bother getting inside for a change, with Orton holding Edge so Zayn can stomp away.

Mustafa Ali is in at #4 (still part of Retribution) and goes after Edge because he doesn’t like older wrestlers. Jeff Hardy is in at #5 for a Whisper in the Wind on Sami and Ali. Orton is back up to yell at Zayn and hits some RKO’s. Edge spears Orton down, allowing the two of them to roll outside again. The Impaler onto the announcers’ table rocks Orton and Edge chairs him down as Dolph Ziggler is in at #6. Orton is busted open and can’t stand as Ziggler dumps Hardy. Edge gets back in and gets Zig Zagged, leaving the villains to triple team him.

Shinsuke Nakamura is in at #7 and goes after Ziggler before avoiding Zayn’s Helluva Kick. Nakamura kicks more people in the face as Orton is being helped out. Carlito is in at #8 and gets in a fight with Nakamura over the apple. There’s a Backstabber to Ali as Orton is STILL being helped to the back. Xavier Woods is in at #9 and goes after Ali, who injured Kofi Kingston.

Big E. (Intercontinental Champion) is in at #10, giving us Edge, Orton (on the floor), Zayn, Ali, Ziggler, Nakamura, Carlito, Woods and Big E. as the ring is getting full. Woods hits the Honor Roll on Zayn and then drops Big E. onto him with a splash. There goes Zayn and it’s time to go after Ali as John Morrison is in at #11. Woods hits his top rope DDT on Ali but they both wind up on the apron. Ali kicks Woods out but Big E. tosses Ali a few seconds later.

Ricochet is in at #12 and springboards in to dive onto another conveniently placed pile. Nakamura cuts Ricochet off and it’s Elias in at #13. A sitout chokeslam drops Ricochet and Elias beats on Carlito for one of the weirder combinations I could have imagined. Elias tosses Carlito, who wrestled one more match on Raw before leaving again, despite looking better than he ever had.

Damian Priest (making his main roster debut) is in at #14 and gets to clean some house, including eliminating Elias. Priest and Edge slug it out as we see Orton getting his knee worked on in the back. The Miz is in at #15 (Graves: “The M-I-Z with the MITB!”) but goes over to break up Bad Bunny’s DJing equipment before getting inside. Miz and Morrison beat up Ziggler as Bad Bunny comes out to yell. The distraction lets Priest toss Miz and Morrison, allowing Bunny to dive onto the two of them (that’s a Wrestlemania match). Riddle is in at #16 and strikes it out with Nakamura, which is more interesting than I would have expected.

Daniel Bryan is in at #17 and gets to strike away at a variety of people. Ricochet is fine enough to backflip over Bryan into a German suplex for the freaky athleticism display. Kane is in at #18 for a pretty weak looking chokeslam on Edge. Ziggler gets tossed and another chokeslam onto the apron gets rid of Ricochet (and that’s about all you need to know about Ricochet’s spot in WWE). We get a HELL NO reunion before Kane turns on Bryan, allowing Priest to kick away and toss Kane as well.

King Corbin is in at #19 and World’s Strongest Slams Nakamura. Commentary talks about Giant Gonzalez having a birthday today (along with Fit Finlay) as Corbin tosses Nakamura. It’s Otis in at #20, giving us Edge, Orton (in the back), Big E., Priest, Riddle, Bryan, Corbin and Otis for a pretty wide variety. Otis gets to toss people around and there’s the Caterpillar to Priest. Corbin sneaks up on Otis for the elimination though, leaving Bryan to fire off kicks to Corbin in the corner.

Dominik Mysterio is in at #21 and it promptly spinebustered by Corbin. That’s broken up in a hurry and Dominik headscissors Corbin out for an upset. Priest and Riddle get in a fight over who gets to beat on Bryan and it’s US Champion Bobby Lashley in at #22. Lashley tosses Mysterio and Priest in a hurry and we get the staredown with Big E.

Neither can overpower the other so they slug it out until the Hurricane is a surprise entrant at #23. Hurricane tries the double chokeslam on Big E. and Lashley, which goes as well as when he tried it on HHH and Steve Austin 19 years ago. That’s enough to get rid of Hurricane so it’s Riddle and Bryan kicking away at Lashley in the corner. Christian is in at #24 and gets in a quick shot on Lashley, allowing a bunch of people to toss Lashley out. There’s the Unprettier to Big E. and we get the Edge and Christian reunion (that’s cool).

AJ Styles is in at #25 as we’re getting a lot of talent in there at once. The Phenomenal Forearm misses Edge, who is back with a spear to drop Styles. Rey Mysterio is in at #26 (with a sponsorship with a Mexican beer) and goes after AJ, who is saved by an Omos intervention. Omos isn’t done and pulls out Big E., who is tossed over the announcers’ table. Sheamus is in at #27 and goes with the ten forearms to Edge. The ring is getting a bit full, so Omos pulls Mysterio out.

Cesaro is in at #28 to clean house but he doesn’t fall for Sheamus’ offer of a Bar reunion. Sheamus gets Swung and Bryan gets the same treatment until Seth Rollins is in at #29. Cesaro goes right after him for the slugout and Braun Strowman completes the field at #30. The final field is Edge, Orton (still not here), Riddle, Bryan, Christian, Styles, Sheamus, Cesaro, Rollins and Strowman. That’s ten names and at least seven Hall of Famers. Not too bad.

Strowman beats on various people and tosses Styles, who is caught by Omos to save him. That leaves Strowman to toss Sheamus, Cesaro, and the once again in Styles. Strowman gets knocked down and everyone pulls themselves up (including Rollins, who is on the floor but not out). Bryan hits a running dropkick on Christian and another one drops Strowman in the corner. We get a Riddle vs. Bryan slugout (actually rather cool) until Bryan has to save himself on the apron. A missile dropkick puts Riddle down but Rollins is back in with the Stomp to Bryan and an elimination.

Now it’s Rollins vs. Riddle on the apron, with Rollins Stomping him out. That leaves us with Rollins, Edge, Christian and Strowman, plus the missing Orton. Rollins and Strowman’s alliance lasts all of negative two seconds before Edge and Christian go after Strowman. That’s broken up, but Christian and Strowman are both tossed. Edge gets rid of Rollins but Orton is back with the RKO….and then gets tossed to give Edge the win at 58:26.

Rating: B+. The star power alone here is insane as you had one big name after another, especially at the end. The best thing about a Rumble is not being sure who is going to win the thing and that was the case here. There were even a few surprises to make it more interesting. It was also nice to have some talented people get extended runs where they actually did some things, as oftentimes they are just standing around doing nothing.

Edge doing the Iron Man thing was only so interesting, but it was a big deal to have him win. Now granted there is a good case to be made that Edge didn’t need the win and it should have been used to build up someone other than a Hall of Famer, but WWE likes its old wrestlers. Still though, very good Rumble and I wasn’t sure who was winning until the end. Now just ban the whole “OH WAIT HE’S STILL IN IT!” and I’ll be happy.

Replays, celebrations and pyro end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Pretty solid show here, with nothing bad and a good choice in the Women’s Royal Rumble (the Men’s….eh could have been worse). There was also a good brawl between Owens and Reigns and Carmella vs. Banks could have been worse. It’s always nice to have nothing to complain about and the Rumbles carried the show. This is one of the most unique shows of the year as the Rumbles are the majority of the show in focus, star power and importance. It worked well here, though neither Rumble was a classic. Overall, a good but not great show, as tends to be the case in WWE these days.

Ratings Comparison

Asuka/Charlotte vs. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler

Original: C
Redo: C

Drew McIntyre vs. Goldberg

Original: N/A
Redo: N/A

Sasha Banks vs. Carmella

Original: C-
Redo: C

Women’s Royal Rumble

Original: B-
Redo: C+

Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns

Original: B-
Redo: B

Men’s Royal Rumble

Original: B
Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B
Redo: B

Yep, just about the same in both viewings.

Here is the original if you are interested:

 

 

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2020 (2021 Redo): Context Helps

Royal Rumble 2020
Date: January 26, 2020
Location: Minute Maid Park, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 42,715
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jerry Lawler, Tom Phillips

Remember when we had crowds? It’s almost weird to see something like this but it’s a nice flashback to a show that feels like it was years ago. I remember the higher points of the show but given how many things have changed since then, it could be rather interesting to look back. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Shorty G. vs. Sheamus

Small guy with a ridiculous name vs. a monster, with Sheamus returning and pretending to save G. but then attacking him for being short. Sheamus shrugs off a single leg attempt to start and pulls G. down by the hair. A shoulder puts him down again but G. sends him outside in front of Green Shirt Guy. Back in and it’s way too early for G.’s ankle lock as Sheamus sends him into the post. There’s the shoulder breaker before Sheamus starts stepping on the fingers.

The armbar goes on and we take a break. Back with the armbar continuing, followed by Sheamus ax handling him in the face. Sheamus sends him to the apron for the forearms to the chest and asks the fans IF THEY ARE NOT ENTERTAINED. Eh it’s been a little slow so far so only kind of. G. slips out of a belly to back though and dropkicks the knee out, allowing him to stomp away on the leg in the corner.

The tornado DDT sets up the moonsault for two on Sheamus and the rolling Chaos Theory out of the corner is good for the same. Sheamus shoves him away and goes up, only to dive into the ankle lock. That’s broken up with a grab of the rope so Sheamus kicks him in the bad arm. The Brogue Kick is good for the pin at 12:37.

Rating: C-. This took some time to get going but the arm played into the finish and Sheamus needed the win to build himself up since he hasn’t even been back for a month so far. It was a slightly longer than usual TV match and unfortunately it saw G. lose again. I know it keeps happening, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

Kickoff Show: US Title: Andrade vs. Humberto Carrillo

Andrade, with Zelina Vega, is defending in another of about 35 matches between these two. Humberto had been injured by Andrade but came back to save Rey Mysterio on Raw, setting this up. They go to the mat to start for a standoff but Carrillo sends him outside, only to glide over Andrade on the baseball slide again. Carrillo hits the Tranquilo pose on the apron and you just don’t do that, as Andrade gets in a cheap shot to take over.

We take a break and come back with Andrade hitting a basement dropkick to the side of the head. The armbreaker over the ropes has Carrillo’s arm being broken, at least until just before the DQ. The Fujiwara armbar goes on to keep Carrillo in trouble but he fights to his feet. That’s about it for the good though as his high angle springboard armdrag is countered with a faceplant. Carrillo is back up with a spinning springboard crossbody but a moonsault hits knees.

Andrade’s running knees in the corner are broken up and he misses a charge to the floor, allowing Carrillo to nail an Asai moonsault. Back in and Andrade hits Two Amigos but the third is countered into a suplex from Carrillo. Andrade kicks him into the corner though and the running knees connect for two. The hammerlock DDT is countered into a small package for two on Andrade and it’s time for the slugout.

Carrillo scores with a superkick for two as Vega is panicking. Back up and Andrade misses some running elbows to the face but he’s able to catch Carrillo on top with a shot to the jaw. Carrillo is fine enough to snap off a super hurricanrana for two and Vega starts giving fast paced advice. Andrade slips out of a fireman’s carry so Carrillo tries another hurricanrana but Andrade reverses into a sunset flip to retain at 14:18.

Rating: C+. These two might not have been the most interesting but they could have some nice, fast paced matches. That’s what we got here on the bigger stage and the right person won, as usual. Carrillo can do all the moves but he’s a complete hole of charisma. Andrade and Vega worked well together, though the stupid deal with Angel Garza getting involved and fighting with Andrade brought them both way down. Still though, pretty good here.

The opening video features Steve Austin talking about the importance of the Royal Rumble, as everyone is out for one thing. It doesn’t matter if there is one person or thirty, because this is their shot at glory. The other matches, which aren’t quite as important, get a little bit of time as well.

King Corbin vs. Roman Reigns

Falls Count Anywhere, which is hardcore based on the introductions but the former sounds better. This is fallout from the rather good dog food angle, which was the only good part of their months long feud. Reigns doesn’t wait for Corbin to get off of his throne and beats up the handlers to start things off. The brawl is on outside with Corbin bailing over the barricade, only to get knocked back to ringside.

They head inside where Reigns gets two off a belly to back suplex. It’s way too early for the Superman Punch so Corbin grabs Deep Six for his own two. They’re back on the floor with Corbin hitting him in the face with the steps and loading up the announcers’ table. Reigns punches him in the face though and they head over the barricade with Reigns following for more right hands. It’s already back to ringside with Corbin getting in a bell shot to the ribs.

Reigns charges at him and gets chokeslammed through the announcers’ table. It’s back over the barricade now with Reigns being sent into some chairs and then into an anvil case. A Samoan drop through a table gives Reigns a breather and they’re both slow to get up. It works so well that Reigns does it again, this time for two. Back up and Corbin drives him into another anvil case (Neil’s Workbox according to the label) and here are Robert Roode and Dolph Ziggler to beat Reigns down.

Cue the Usos to even things up and we cut over to the tag teams fighting as Corbin and Reigns are gone. Roode sets up a barricade but Jey dives off the scaffold to make a save as the people actually in the match pop up again. Reigns throws him into some portable toilets (Cole: “Those structures.”) and then turns it over with Corbin inside. That doesn’t seem to mean much and they head back through the crowd. This time Corbin pulls a cover off of the dugout and hitting a few chair shots. Reigns comes back with a Superman Punch and the spear for the pin at 21:17.

Rating: C. These two just aren’t all that interesting together and Reigns is even harder to watch in this role after seeing what he could do later on in the year. The problem here was that they just walked around a lot and punched each other with some spots in the middle. The interference spiced things up a bit, but you shouldn’t need to spice up a violent gimmick match between two people who can’t stand each other. It’s not an awful match, but it wasn’t an interesting feud at the time and the version without seeing most of the build isn’t that much of an improvement.

Samoa Joe comes up to Kevin Owens, who is really excited about getting to beat up Seth Rollins. That sounds cool with Joe, who is more than willing to throw Owens out. Bickering ensues.

Sonya Deville says she’ll eliminate herself before eliminating Mandy Rose because they’re partners.

In Memory of Kobe Bryant, who died earlier in the day. That was quite the shock.

Women’s Royal Rumble

Ninety second intervals and Alexa Bliss is in at #1 and Bianca Belair, still in NXT at this point, is in at #2. Bliss doesn’t look impressed and they lock up to start. Belair starts fast by driving Bliss into the corner for a shoulder to the ribs. The standing moonsault connects and it’s Mighty Molly in at #3. The posing, complete with cape, draws the flashbacks and Molly hits a high crossbody onto both of them. We get some rather sped up intervals as Nikki Cross is in at #4.

Bliss and Cross have the big hug but get taken down, including the KOD from Belair to drive Cross onto Bliss in a crash. Everyone gets knocked down and it’s Lana in at #5. Lana, in the required Captain Marvel gear, brags about being a newlywed (oh man that nonsense) and finally gets in as Mercedes Martinez is in at #6 to clean house. Lana is almost put out and it’s Liv Morgan in at #7 to get rid of Lana in a hurry. Morgan makes the mistake of going up top though and Lana pulls her off. The catfight is on outside and Mandy Rose is in at #8.

Cross has to kick Rose away and gives her a crossbody as Candice LeRae is in at #9. A missile dropkick puts Martinez down and a Lionsault hits Cross. Molly gets tossed and Rose is sent over as well….but lands on Otis, who happens to be laying at ringside for your comedy bit. Sonya Deville is in at #10, giving us Bliss, Belair, Cross, Martinez, Rose, LeRae and Deville. Mandy and Sonya fail to get rid of Candice but they can get rid of Martinez. Kairi Sane is in at #11 and comes in with her umbrella because Sane is kind of weird. House is cleaned, including a Blockbuster into a top rope elbow on Rose. Mia Yim is in at #12 and Belair knocks Cross out.

Sonya tries to toss Mandy but Otis catches her again. That’s fine with Belair, who throws Sonya onto both of them for the double elimination. Dana Brooke is in at #13 and starts beating up Yim in a hurry. Belair tosses Candice out for her fifth elimination setting a women’s Royal Rumble record. Bliss gets rid of Sane and it’s Tamina in at #14 and she gets to fire off her superkicks. That’s fine with Belair, who avoids a charge to send Tamina out. NXT’s Dakota Kai is in at #15 and kicks Brooke in the face as Bliss knocks Yim out.

NXT’s Chelsea Green is in at #16 and tosses Kai but gets tossed by Bliss in about ten seconds. Belair gets rid of Brooke and we’re down to Belair vs. Bliss again. Twisted Bliss is blocked and they fight to the apron with Belair knocking her into the post for the elimination. Belair is alone and it’s Charlotte in at #17. Charlotte chops away at Belair and sends her flying with a quick suplex. That goes nowhere and it’s the returning Naomi in at #18.

Naomi starts sliding around to avoid some shots, setting up a staredown with Charlotte. Some chops in the corner have Naomi in trouble and it’s Beth Phoenix in at #19. Charlotte and Naomi and Beth and Belair pair off but it’s Toni Storm in at #20 to give us Charlotte, Naomi, Phoenix, Belair and Storm. Charlotte finally throws Belair out to a big reaction and it’s the returning Kelly Kelly in at #21.

Beth manages to send Charlotte over the top and stomp away but Charlotte manages to hang on. Sarah Logan is in at #22….and Charlotte kicks her out in about ten seconds. Charlotte knocks Kelly out and it’s Natalya in at #23. Clotheslines abound and Beth and Natalya powerbomb Charlotte out of the corner. NXT’s Xia Li is in at #24 and starts kicking various blondes. Zelina Vega is in at #25 as they’re flying through these entrants.

A tornado DDT plants Naomi but a bunch of people can’t get rid of Charlotte in the corner. NXT newcomer Shotzi Blackheart is in at #26 and Naomi is thrown over the top….but she manages to land on the steps and dive onto the barricade. Naomi pulls herself back up and crawls along the barricade so she can walk along the announcers’ table and try to figure things out. Carmella comes in at #27 and hits a very spinning headscissors, setting up a double Bronco Buster on Natalya and Beth (who is bleeding BADLY from the back of the head).

Charlotte gets sent shoulder first into the post and calls out to the floor as Tegan Nox is in at #28. Phoenix hits Nox with a Glam Slam….and Santina Marella is in at #29. Beth isn’t happy and glares Santina down, with Natalya joining her. With nothing else working, Santina whips out the Cobra, strikes herself, and is eliminations. NXT’s Shayna Baszler is in at #30, giving us a final field of Charlotte (on the floor), Naomi (still on the announcers’ table), Phoenix, Storm, Natalya, Li, Vega, Blackheart, Carmella, Nox and Baszler.

Shayna starts fast by posting Charlotte on the floor and dumps Li. Nox and Vega are out as well, with Shotzi joining all of them. Naomi has finally gotten the top of the announcers’ table off and uses it as a bridge to the ring for a big reaction (after about ten minutes to get back). Shayna gets rid of Carmella and Storm before dodging Naomi’s Rear View and tossing her as well.

Beth and Natalya grab a quick Hart Attack on Baszler but Beth throws Natalya out. Charlotte comes back in to send Baszler and Phoenix to the apron, setting up the Charlotte vs. Baszler showdown. Phoenix is back in but gets tossed by Baszler. Charlotte hang son and skins the cat into a headscissors to eliminate Baszler for the win at 54:17.

Rating: C+. They were flying through this and while it was nice to see the NXT stars popping in, there wasn’t a lot of interesting in the whole thing. The biggest problem is Charlotte winning, as she certainly didn’t need the win over a newcomer like Baszler. Charlotte was already one of the most successful women in WWE history. Did she really need something like this over a newcomer like Baszler? It makes even less sense when you consider where they both went at Wrestlemania, but again, Charlotte. It wasn’t a bad match at all, but just too fast and not overly interesting.

Post match Charlotte says nothing is stopping her from becoming champion again at Wrestlemania.

King Corbin promises to eliminate Roman Reigns from the Rumble tonight.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Lacey Evans

Bayley is defending and gets shoved down to start. Some knee drops give Lacey an early two and a slingshot elbow has Bayley in more trouble. Hold on though as Bayley is favoring her knee, which is good enough goldbricking to let Bayley get in an elbow to the face for two. The chinlock sets up a suplex into another chinlock and the comeback attempt is countered into a third chinlock. Points for consistency? A clothesline gives Bayley two and she tells Lacey to “come on mommy.”.

The chinlock goes on again for a few seconds but Bayley misses a charge into the corner. Lacey grabs a slingshot rollup for two and nails a running knee. A slingshot dropkick almost sends Lacey falling out to the floor but she manages to hold on. The slingshot dive misses though and we see Lacey’s daughter and I’d assume husband in the front row. Back in and Lacey grabs a neckbreaker but the double jump moonsault hits knees (that’s what you get for stopping to salute). Bayley grabs a rollup with trunks to retain at 9:25.

Rating: C. Just slightly above a TV level match here but it was too early to take the title off of Bayley just yet. Bayley mocking Lacey was rather good but the amazing part is that Lacey still hasn’t won a title. You would just think she would have gotten one out of however many shots she has had over the years. It didn’t need to be here, but nothing since then? Really?

We recap Daniel Bryan vs. the Fiend. Bryan has brought back the YES Movement to fight against the Fiend and now it’s time to challenge for the title in a strap match. Bray Wyatt has brought up Bryan’s time as part of the Wyatt Family and wants some revenge.

Smackdown World Title: The Fiend vs. Daniel Bryan

The Fiend is defending in a strap match, but this time it’s pins/submissions instead of the four corners. I don’t miss the red lights but I do miss the severed head lantern (that’s one of those “only in wrestling” deals). As for the custom Fiend title…..eh not so much either. Bryan kicks away in the corner but gets powerbombed out for his efforts. It’s already time to start whipping Bryan in the back but a kick to the face has Fiend on the floor. The suicide dive is swatted away though and Fiend whips him again.

As Cole refers to the Fiend as Reigns, they head back inside with Bryan being sat on top for some more shots to the back. The bright red marks are already starting to appear on Bryan’s back so Fiend laughs a lot. Bryan scores with a quick kick though and the running knee gets two. Fiend gets low bridged to the floor for the big dive, only to send Bryan into the steps. Bryan pulls him into the post over and over though and Fiend is rocked. He’s fine enough to clothesline Bryan inside out and it’s time to load up the announcers’ table.

Bryan kicks him low a few times to save himself and there’s a DDT onto the table for a thud. Fiend gets whipped for a change and it’s back inside for the YES Kicks, followed by several whips to Fiend for a change. As you might expect, Fiend wants more kicking and whippings so Bryan obliges. The running knee is countered into Sister Abigail (sweet) for two though and Fiend isn’t sure what to do. The Mandible Claw goes on on the top so Bryan pulls him into a triangle choke over the ropes.

That doesn’t work so Bryan pulls him into the YES Lock to….well not much as Fiend escapes and hammers away again. Another Sister Abigail is countered into another running knee for another two so Bryan starts firing himself up. Fiend pops up to his feet and you can see the defeat in Bryan’s face. Bryan’s whips are shrugged off and the Mandible Claw goes on again to finish Bryan at 17:36.

Rating: B. This was the Royal Rumble title defense as there was little doubt about who was going to win and there is nothing wrong with that. It was going to take someone special (or old) to beat Fiend and as great as Bryan is, it wasn’t the right place for him to get the title here. They had a hard hitting match but in the end, Bryan wasn’t enough to stop Fiend and that makes Fiend look a heck of a lot better.

Post match, a very damaged Bryan has to be helped out.

There is a new attendance record of 42,715.

We recap the Raw Women’s Title match, with Becky Lynch defending against Asuka. Lynch has been champion since Wrestlemania but Asuka was the last woman to beat her. That has weighed on Lynch and it is time for a rematch one year after the loss to Asuka. Green mist was used so you know it’s serious.

Raw Women’s Title: Becky Lynch vs. Asuka

Asuka, with Kairi Sane, is challenging. Feeling out process to start with the grappling setting up Asuka’s rollup for two. They roll around a bit until Becky clotheslines her to the floor. The followup earns Becky a shot to the arm but the hip attack misses, allowing the Disarm-Her (in the ropes) to go on. Asuka is right back with a neckbreaker over the ropes to take over and it’s time to kick Lynch in the face a few times. A Shining Wizard connects for two but Lynch comes back with some kicks to the face.

They fight to the apron with neither being able to hit a suplex so Becky release suplexes her to the floor. Asuka is fine enough to hit a knee to the face back inside and a fisherman’s suplex drop (as in she drops Becky down onto the mat) gets two. Asuka takes her to the middle rope, where Becky is back with a super Rock Bottom for two more. Becky can’t follow up so Asuka goes with the cross armbreaker into the Asuka Lock (how she beat Becky last year) but Becky makes the rope.

The Kawada Kicks knock Becky silly so we pause for a bit for the referee to check on Lynch. She grabs the referee’s leg to beg him not to stop it so Asuka hits another big kick to the head. Another Asuka Lock attempt is countered into a failed Disarm-Her attempt so they trade kicks for a double knockdown. They slug it out with the referee almost getting bumped, so Asuka loads up the green mist. Lynch is smarter than that though and kicks it out of her mouth, setting up the Disarm-Her to retain at 16:35.

Rating: B. These two beat the heck out of each other with Asuka winning most of the match until she tried to cheat and Becky was ready for her. This felt like Becky surviving until the end and then beating Asuka at her own game because she knew she had to get her win back. I really liked this and they told a good enough story that I got into it without remembering a lot of the details. That’s hard to do but they pulled it off here.

Post match, Becky gives Asuka a knowing look.

Wrestlemania XXXVI is coming to Tampa. My how things change, but the awesomeness of that pirate theme isn’t one of them.

The Street Profits go over the men’s Royal Rumble favorites as only they can.

Men’s Royal Rumble

Non-title and Booker T. is a guest commentator but hang on as Bobby Lashley and Rusev are ruled out due to a huge brawl earlier in the day. 90 second intervals again and WWE Champion Brock Lesnar is in at #1 (he wanted a challenge) and Elias is in at #2. Hold on though as Elias needs to call Lesnar a gorilla and Paul Heyman a zookeeper. Elias’ song is about how he is a sacrificial lamb so Lesnar charges to start the beating in the aisle.

They get inside with Lesnar unloading with shoulders in the corner. There’s the German suplex and a guitar shot to the back keeps Elias down. That’s enough for the elimination, which is good as face Elias never worked. Erick Rowan is in at #3 and lasts less than ten seconds. Good because the caged animal deal never worked either. After Lesnar walks around for a bit, Robert Roode is in at #4 and wisely takes his time.

Roode gets a boot up in the corner but walks into the F5 and is gone. More walking around, this time while holding the title up, kills some time until John Morrison (who makes Lesnar laugh) is in at #5. He beats Rowan’s time, lasting a full nine seconds. Kofi Kingston is in at #6 to get his chance at retribution for Lesnar beating him for the title in about ten seconds (Yeah remember that?).

Kofi gets in a few shots but is driven into the corner for another German suplex. Rey Mysterio is in at #7 and that gets Lesnar’s attention. The pace picks up (as you may have guessed) but Lesnar clotheslines them both down and gets to pace a bit. The German suplexes keep both guys down on the floor (not out) until Big E. is in at #8. Big E. rallies the troops and it’s the parade of finishers to rock Lesnar….who tosses Rey, uses Big E. as a launchpad to drop Kofi, and then tosses Big E. with ease.

Kofi is out as well and Lesnar is alone in the ring as Cesaro is in at #9. Less than twenty seconds later and Lesnar is all alone again for Lesnar’s eighth elimination. Shelton Benjamin is in at #10 and Lesnar likes this one for a change. Shelton hugs Heyman at ringside and tells him to go reunite with Lesnar (Booker: “Don’t fall for that!”). They hug and Lesnar German suplexes him, setting up another elimination.

Intercontinental Champion Shinsuke Nakamura (with hype man Sami Zayn) is in at #11 and a spinning kick to the head rocks Lesnar. Then he throws Nakamura out, but he did get kicked down. MVP (in Black Panther gear) makes a surprise return at #12 (Lesnar likes his music) and is out in about 25 seconds. Keith Lee is in at #13 and that gets Brock’s attention (Lesnar: “Big boy!”) in a hurry. They stare each other down and Lee drops him with a shoulder (giving us a shocked Lesnar face), followed by a double knockdown. Braun Strowman is in at #14 and dropkicks Lee to the floor (not out).

Brock suplexes both of them twice in a row and they’re all down for a bit. Strowman and Lee start fighting….so Lesnar dumps them both to tie the eliminations record at 13. Ricochet (who Lesnar beat up on Raw) is in at #15 and gets knocked into the corner. There’s another German suplex to send Ricochet flying as Cole says he doesn’t want to hear anyone talking about how Lesnar doesn’t do anything. Drew McIntyre is in at #16 and there’s the next big staredown.

Lesnar takes the gloves off but Ricochet returns the low blow from Raw and McIntyre Claymores Lesnar out for a HUGE pop. Heyman isn’t sure what to do as the match starts the second half. McIntyre tosses Ricochet and stares down at Lesnar because that’s Wrestlemania. Miz is in at #17 and gets Future Shocked and Claymored for another elimination. McIntyre keeps staring down at Lesnar, who walks off through timekeeper’s area for some reason.

AJ Styles is in at #18 and starts kicking away at McIntyre’s leg. The Calf Crusher goes on for a bit but McIntyre drives AJ’s head into the mat for the break. Dolph Ziggler is in at #19 but would rather hit AJ than double team McIntyre. Karl Anderson is in at #20, giving us McIntyre, Styles, Ziggler and Anderson to tie the most people in the match at once. Anderson and Styles team up but Ziggler gets to make one of his signature Rumble saves (he does those A LOT).

In your shock of the night/show/year, EDGE is in at #21 and looks near tears to be in his first match in almost nine years. Spears abound and absolutely the fans are going nuts as Edge soaks in some cheers. AJ scores with a Pele kick to Edge but gets speared down as well. A banged up King Corbin is in at #22 as AJ seems to be hurt in the corner. Edge quickly eliminates AJ, who grabs his arm/shoulder on the floor.

NXT’s Matt Riddle is in at #23 and kicks away, only to get tossed by Corbin in about forty seconds. Luke Gallows is in at #24 and kicks away as well until McIntyre dumps Corbin (with Cole calling him Humpty Dumpty.). Randy Orton is in at #25 and it’s an RKO each for the Good Brothers. We get a quick Rated RKO reunion as Edge and Orton get rid of Gallows and Anderson and here’s Roman Reigns in at #26 (Cole actually gets in an interesting stat by saying it’s the latest entry to never have a winner).

Reigns goes after McIntyre and it’s Kevin Owens in at lucky #27 (even though the luck is more of cliché these days). Reigns can’t hit the Pop Up Powerbomb and Owens hits him with a Stunner. There’s another Stunner to Orton and it’s Aleister Black (I had forgotten his music) in at #28. Black Mass abounds but no one is tossed as Samoa Joe is in at #29. Owens and Joe, friends at the moment, slug it out until Seth Rollins is in at #30.

That gives us an outstanding final field of McIntyre, Edge, Orton, Reigns, Owens, Black, Joe and Rollins (Ziggler seems to have been eliminated off camera). This time though Rollins has Buddy Murphy and the AOP with him so Owens and Joe go outside to brawl with the team (sweet goodness with all the camera cuts). AOP starts wrecking people but doesn’t eliminate anyone. Murphy gets in a cheap shot on Black to save Rollins though and Black is gone.

Owens throws Rollins over the top but AOP catches him, allowing Rollins to toss Owens as well. Rollins gets caught in the Koquina Clutch but manages to toss Joe as well. Joe, Black and Owens brawl with AOP and Murphy to the back and we’re down to Rollins, McIntyre, Edge, Reigns and Orton (that’s a fine final five). Rollins tries to get on Reigns’ side but takes one finisher after another, setting up the easy elimination for McIntyre.

Edge and Orton agree to team up and the brawl is on again as the fans find this awesome. There’s an RKO to McIntyre and a spear takes him down again. A double RKO plants McIntyre again but Edge catches Orton waiting to turn on him. That lets Edge toss Orton (makes sense) and we’re down to three. The fans tell Edge that he still has it as he slugs it out with Reigns, who nails a Superman Punch. Reigns misses the spear so Edge hits his own and they go to the apron. Reigns gets the better of it and tosses Edge but heads back inside for the Claymore to give McIntyre the big win at 1:00:08.

Rating: B. And that’s how you make a new star, as McIntyre not only slayed the Beast but then won what was pretty much an all star second half to win the whole thing. You don’t see people get this kind of a rub in the Rumble often enough but man alive this worked very well. At least the second half though, which brings us to the 294lb gorilla in the Rumble.

Watching this Rumble back and knowing what is coming made it a bit easier, but the first half is still total overkill as Lesnar could have made the same point with, I don’t know, seven or eight people? I’d like to think that it’s not just to equal Strowman’s elimination record from the Greatest Royal Rumble, but WWE seems to consider that the same as this kind so maybe they are ridiculous enough to consider that a reason. Lesnar was a monster and some of the stuff he did was cool, but we got the point already.

Overall it’s a good enough Rumble and the positives outweigh the negatives, but the Lesnar stuff went on too long. I do like seeing Lesnar be treated like a monster instead of rushing through everything in three minutes, but how many villagers does the monster need to devour to prove his point? The McIntyre stuff made up for a lot of it, though I don’t need to see the two half Rumble structure again.

Overall Rating: B+. Overall, this is a heck of a show, but I can get why watching it with more knowledge of what it would mean would change things a lot. There are some weak parts to the show, but at the same time the big matches all delivered and that’s what you need in a show like this. They also kept it a little shorter than the huge shows and with nothing bad, I’m not sure what else you could want. Well less Lesnar dominance maybe but that might be nitpicking.

Ratings Comparison

Shorty G. vs. Sheamus

Original: C

Redo: C-

Andrade vs. Humberto Carrillo

Original: C

Redo: C+

King Corbin vs. Roman Reigns

Original: D+

Redo: C

Women’s Royal Rumble

Original: B

Redo: C+

Bayley vs. Lacey Evans

Original: C-

Redo: C

Daniel Bryan vs. The Fiend

Original: B

Redo: B

Asuka vs. Becky Lynch

Original: B

Redo: B

Men’s Royal Rumble

Original: B+

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: B+

Wait, I really liked the men’s Rumble better the first time? Reigns vs. Corbin being higher this time doesn’t surprise me though as that feud just destroyed me.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

 

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2018: I’ve Never Done This Before

Royal Rumble 2018
Date: January 28, 2018
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,629
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T., Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

It’s hard to believe that a year has passed since this show as I can barely remember most of the card. This show features the first ever all women’s Royal Rumble, which really is quite the milestone. Now of course they had to bring in a bunch of legends/former wrestlers who aren’t legends but are called such to fill in the lineup, but there are worse things to do. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Kalisto/Gran Metalik/Lince Dorado vs. TJP/Jack Gallagher/Drew Gulak

They aren’t the Lucha House Party yet but they’re the Lucha House Party. As usual, the arena is still mostly empty because we need to be having a match an hour and a half before the show starts. Kalisto and Gulak start things off with a weak POWERPOINT chant annoying Drew. The announcers talk about the upcoming 205 Live General Manager as Kalisto twists the knee around into something like a reverse Figure Four. Gulak rolls out so it’s Metalik and Gallagher (in his suit of course) coming in instead.

A quick takedown sends Gallagher outside where he insists a fan not boo him. TJP comes in and that earns him a triple dab from the House Party. We settle down to TJP and Dorado exchanging wristlocks until Kalisto comes in for a headlock. The pace picks up again but this time it’s Gulak coming in and flying over the top to the floor. All three luchadors get on the top and it’s a triple moonsault to the floor to pop the dozens of fans in attendance.

Back from a break with TJP dropkicking Dorado out of the air so the heat segment can begin. Gallagher hits a surfboard double stomp on the knees and it’s off to a leg crank. Gulak stomps away and it’s back to TJP to look annoyed at Dorado for not staying down. Instead it’s Gallagher going to the middle rope and looking terrified, allowing Dorado to roll away. After a quick lecture, Gulak comes in as Metalik gets the hot tag to pick up the pace. The rope walk elbow gets two as everything breaks down. The double Golden Rewind sets up a big double dive from Metalik for two on Gulak. A quick Salida Del Sol finishes TJP at 13:13.

Rating: C. For the life of me I don’t get the point in having these matches this early. There’s no one there and while the action was fine, it’s not like there’s anyone to react to them. They had a nice match here though with the dives taking them wherever they wanted to go. 205 Live was still figuring out a bunch of things but the match worked well enough because people who can fly around are always going to be worth a look.

The crowd has filled in now.

Kickoff Show: Luke Gallows/Karl Anderson vs Revival

What a lack of a difference a year makes. Revival is fresh off getting beaten up by a bunch of legends Dawson chops at Anderson in the corner until a dropkick gets him out of trouble. Dawson makes a tag from the floor (not sure if you can do that) and the distraction lets him rake Gallows’ eyes, though it doesn’t really do much. The threat of a right hand sends Revival outside and we take a break. Back with Dawson snapping Anderson’s knee over the middle rope to give the Revival a target.

Anderson gets double teamed in the corner as the announcers ignore the match to talk about Brock Lesnar. The leglocking begins so Anderson kicks him square in the jaw for the break. That’s always going to work but it’s not enough to get the hot tag off to Gallows. Another kick away allows the tag to Gallows so the pace can pick up. House is cleaned but the Magic Killer is broken up as Anderson comes back in for some reason. Anderson is fine enough to hit a kick to the head in the corner, only to have a chop block finish Anderson at 9:14.

Rating: C. Another match that only served as filler for the sake of filling time, which is one of the most annoying things you can have. It’s a match that didn’t need to exist and only served to burn off a little more of the crowd’s energy before we get to the matches that actually matter. The match was fine, though just another match that didn’t serve much of a purpose.

Kickoff Show: US Title: Bobby Roode vs. Mojo Rawley

Open challenge it seems. Roode is defending, having won the title less than two weeks ago. Before the match, Roode talks about winning the title and being the Glorious One. Rawley plants him with a shoulder but Roode is right back with a hard clothesline. A Russian legsweep gets two but it’s way too early for a Glorious DDT. Instead Rawley sends him outside and into the barricade for two as we take a break. Back with Roode still in trouble as Rawley drives knees into the ribs.

We hit the chinlock until Roode belly to back suplexes his way to freedom. The Blockbuster is countered but Roode slips off and grabs a neckbreaker for two more. Now the Blockbuster gets two but the Glorious DDT is broken up again. A spinebuster gives Rawley two and he sends Roode shoulder first into the post. The running right hand is blocked with a boot though and the (not very) Glorious DDT retains the title at 7:37.

Rating: D+. I for one am very glad that we had to sit through this as well, with Roode barely breaking a sweat to retain the title in a match that was never in doubt. Roode isn’t exactly thrilling as a face but even worse is the fact that he got stuck with the US Title of Death, which has hurt just about everyone it’s touched for a long time now.

The opening video talks about the opportunity for all, both in the Royal Rumbles and in the triple threat. Thankfully the rest of the card gets some time as well, even if Brock Lesnar still looms over everyone.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

Owens and Zayn are challenging in a handicap match as part of the Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon love/hate Owens/Zayn story which was more about Shane than anyone else. I miss Sami’s heel stuff as he really is someone you want to see get punched in the face. Owens lets Sami start but he tags right back out. It’s another tag a few seconds later as they’re clearly filling in time here. That’s not a complaint as there’s only so much that can be realistically done in a match like this.

AJ takes Owens down without much effort so Kevin slides to the floor and tags Sami in from the floor to a rather nice reaction. Sami headlocks AJ for little avail as Saxton GOES OFF on Graves in the most emotional outburst I’ve ever heard from him. A cheap shot lets Owens take over on AJ with a hard whip into the corner getting two. They head outside (Owens: “We’ll play outside!”) with AJ being whipped ribs first into the barricade.

Back in and Sami grabs a quickly broken chinlock, allowing AJ to come back up slugging away at Owens. A missed Cannonball in the corner bangs up Owens’ knee to put him down for a bit, allowing AJ to pull Sami off the top for a breather. Owens tries to come back in but can’t do much on the knee, meaning it’s back to Sami who charges into a boot in the corner.

The moonsault into the reverse DDT plants Sami but Owens is back up again. This time he throws AJ out of the corner but Styles catches Sami in a hurricanrana to send him outside. AJ grabs the Calf Crusher on Owens until Sami dives in for save. Owens, with his knee fine in a hurry, misses a charge into the post but is still able to superkick AJ into the Blue Thunder Bomb for a close two. Not exactly Sweet Chin Music into the Pedigree in the Cell but not bad. Important note: Sami had pinned AJ with the Blue Thunder Bomb earlier in the week, so the move was suddenly a threat. The little things like that can go a long way.

AJ slips out of a superplex attempt and scores with the Phenomenal Forearm to Sami as Owens makes a save. Sami dives over to Owens for a tag and gets sent outside, leaving Owens’ Pop Up Powerbomb to be countered into a rollup to retain AJ’s title at 15:50. The replay shows that Sami might not have actually tagged, meaning AJ pinned the wrong man.

Rating: C+. This was only going to be so good as you can only make AJ be so much of an underdog before he wins. Owens and Zayn are a great heel act but they just lost almost clean to one guy. Yeah it’s AJ Styles, but that’s not exactly the best way to present them. It doesn’t help that it’s just part of a story involving Shane McMahon as a screwy boss, but you know we’re not escaping him anymore.

Wrestlemania ad. I forgot how sick I got of that song.

Sami and Kevin complain to Shane about what happened and he really doesn’t care.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin

Gable and Benjamin are challenging and this is 2/3 falls. Before the match, the Usos yell a lot about this being their house and how they’re going to win in the Uso Penitentiary. Shelton shoulders Jey down to start and Jey seems rather pleased. Gable comes in but a blind tag lets Jey come in and break up Rolling Chaos Theory. The challengers take a break on the floor before a chop block takes Jimmy’s knee out.

Shelton hits one of his own and it’s time to really work the knee over with a Robinsdale Crunch into a regular leglock. Some stereo running knees to the face drop Jimmy again and the charge continues to knock Jey off the apron as a bonus. Since WWE tends to do the same things over and over, the hot tag comes through a few seconds alter, allowing Jey to speed things up and hit a big dive to the floor.

Back in and a running hip attack in the corner looks to set up the Superfly Splash but Gable is up just in time. Some rollups get two as Shelton comes back in to load up a powerbomb. Chad has to dropkick Jimmy down instead though, leaving Shelton to powerbomb Jey into Jimmy instead. A good looking moonsault to the floor drops both Usos, though it’s not exactly enough to wake the fans up.

Rating: D+. The action wasn’t bad but what in the world was the point of the 2/3 falls stipulation? This was a watchable match but it wasn’t anything more than and the fans really didn’t care. I’m not sure what they were going for here and given that the whole show went over four hours, this really could have been cut to shave off nearly twenty minutes total.

Rumble By The Numbers. That never gets old.

Jerry Lawler comes out for commentary.

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals here, which has hit and miss results. Rusev is in at #1 and Finn Balor is in at #2. Aiden English does Rusev’s intro to a very, very strong reaction. You knew Philadelphia would be a Rusev Day town. Rusev wastes no time in trying to dumb Balor but has to take him down for an elbow instead. The running spinwheel kick cuts Balor off again and it’s Rhyno in at #3. Makes sense in the ECW Arena and I could go for Lawler making fun of ECW forever. Rhyno starts cleaning house and it’s already time for the ECW chants. Clotheslines abound until Rusev spinwheel kicks Rhyno down as well.

Baron Corbin is in at #4 because I couldn’t even avoid him back then. Corbin cleans a bit of the house and catches a charging Rhyno with Deep Six. That’s enough to toss Rhyno but Balor dumps Corbin a few seconds later to get us back to two. Corbin isn’t cool with that and pulls Balor to the floor (not eliminated) for a whip into the barricade. Rusev takes End of Days and everyone is down. Heath Slater is in at #5 and gets dropped on the ramp to put everyone down again.

Elias, with guitar of course, is in at #6 and since everyone is down, let’s have a song! See, now this makes some sense and is a proper way to fill in some time and keep things fresh. After a kick to Slater on the way down the ramp, Elias confirms that the people do indeed want to walk with Elias. You always have to make sure of course. The song is about spitting in the face of the Rocky Statue (TOO FAR!) but the countdown clock cuts him off and it’s Andrade Cien Almas (NXT Champion with Zelina Vega) in at #7. Now that’s a nice move and having it happen the night after he won a classic match makes it even better.

Almas wastes no time in hitting the running knees in the corner but the hammerlock DDT is broken up. Bray Wyatt is in at #8 and walks rather to the ring rather quickly. Before he gets in, he beats Slater up on the floor and sends him into the barricade, meaning Slater still hasn’t gotten in yet. Balor gets up and saves Elias from Sister Abigail but gets knocked down as it’s all Wyatt. Big E. is in at #9 but first, we need to have some pancakes. A single belly to belly drops Wyatt, only to have Rusev pop up with a superkick to Big E.

Tye Dillinger somehow gets #10 again….but hang on a second as Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens jumps him from behind so Sami can take his spot (while knocking Slater down again to continue the running gag). That gives us Rusev, Balor, Slater (on the floor), Elias, Almas, Wyatt, Big E. and Zayn. Nothing of note happens until Sheamus is in at #11 and he even throws Slater inside….and gets clotheslined out just as fast. Sheamus’ shocked face is rather good, though the fans aren’t happy when Wyatt eliminates Slater a few seconds later. Everyone is down again until Xavier Woods is in at #12 so 2/3 of New Day can start to clean house, thereby waking the crowd up a bit.

The fans get way into the countdown as Apollo Crews is in at #13, which should kill the crowd all over again. I’m not sure why they’re so quiet here but maybe they’re waiting for the big finish instead. Again not much happens and it’s Shinsuke Nakamura at #14 to fill up the ring even more. The fans are into Nakamura as he starts cleaning house, including the running knee in the corner to get rid of Zayn for old times’ sake.

Cesaro is in at #15 and gets to clean house as the fans get behind Rusev. They’re quite fickle in Philadelphia. Kofi Kingston is in at #16 and the New Day is at full strength. Apollo nearly gorilla presses Cesaro out but gets sent to the apron himself, allowing Cesaro to uppercut him out. Jinder Mahal is in at #17 because we’re just that lucky. Woods dropkicks him into the corner but gets knocked off the top for the elimination. We didn’t even get anything from the full New Day in the whole thing?

Mahal gets rid of Big E. as well and it’s Seth Rollins in at #18 to a nice reaction. Rollins monkey flips Cesaro out as at least they’re keeping the eliminations flowing. Mahal goes to dump Kofi but Woods is still on the floor, meaning Kofi can land on him instead of the floor. Big E. offers a plate of pancakes for the other foot and a nice case of hopping lets Kofi get back in, complete with Big E. and Woods launching him back in. Trouble in Paradise eliminates Mahal and it’s time to cover him in pancakes. With the celebration rolling, Almas hits Kofi with the hammerlock DDT to get rid of Kofi.

Woken Matt Hardy is in at #19 (King: “Oh brother.”) and he goes straight for Elias with the rams into the corner. Matt and Bray get together and eliminate Rusev, much to the fans’ annoyance. That’s it for the teamwork as they slug it out and then eliminate each other to really clear the ring a bit. John Cena is in at #20, giving us Balor, Elias, Almas, Nakamura, Rollins and Cena. The other five are waiting for Cena and stomp him down, because they’re rather smart. They don’t go for the elimination though, because their intelligence is short sighted.

Cena dumps Elias (because Cena always ruins Elias’ night) and the Hurricane is in at #21, much to Cena’s shock. The Hurri-chokeslam is easily countered into an AA to get rid of Hurricane, who is shocked as well. Aiden English is in at #22 but the fans would rather argue about Cena. Adam Cole, with bad ribs, is in at #23 and you know these fans are going to like him. Balor (hey he’s still in this) eliminates English and it’s Randy Orton in at #24. Cena shrugs off an RKO attempt so Almas takes it instead and gets thrown out as the amount of entrants stays at a nice pace.

Titus O’Neil is in at #25 but no one seems worried about him. At least they know their history. Titus does actually beat up Nakamura in the corner as Cena and Orton have their contractually obligated fight until Intercontinental Champion The Miz is in at #26. That means house can be cleaned, including the YES Kicks to Rollins and Cena. A Skull Crushing Finale keeps Cena down but Rollins superkicks Miz.

Rey Mysterio makes a surprise appearance at lucky #27, marking his first appearance with the company since the night after Wrestlemania XXX. The pace gets to pick up and Cole is eliminated off a headscissors. Miz eats a 619 and it’s Roman Reigns in at #28 to tick the fans off in a bad way. Almost everyone gets a right hand until it’s a showdown with Miz, who took Reigns’ Intercontinental Title on Raw earlier in the week.

Dolph Ziggler is in at #30 (Cole: “I thought he retired or something!” This was after Ziggler vacated the US Title and walked out without ever mentioning what he was doing. And now he’s right back, apparently saying that the US Title means nothing. Anyway the final group is Balor, Nakamura, Cena, Orton, Mysterio, Reigns, Goldust and Ziggler. Cena tries an AA on Ziggler, who flips out and lands on his leg, which probably should have counted as full on impact. Goldust scores with the snap powerslam but Ziggler easily puts him out with a superkick.

Some tuning up the band takes too long though and Ziggler is knocked to the apron so Balor can knock him out. They vacated the title to give Ziggler a two minute cameo. Well done indeed. We’re down to six and that’s a CRAZY deep field, with Nakamura being the least successful in WWE. Balor takes an AA and it’s a 619 to Reigns, followed by an RKO to Nakamura (Lawler: “COVER HIM! COVER HIM! Oh wait….”).

Reigns gets up with a Superman Punch to Orton for an elimination but it’s Mysterio with a double 619 to Reigns and Cena. Balor breaks up a springboard though and Mysterio is out to leave us with four. Everyone is down in a corner until it’s Cena vs. Nakamura and Reigns vs. Balor. Nakamura and Balor are knocked down so it’s a Reigns vs. Cena showdown but nothing happens before the other two are right back up. Nakamura’s running knee in the corner rocks Balor but he gets back in, only to get kicked square in the head.

Reigns is back up for a save this time and NOW we get Reigns vs. Cena for the big showdown. The slugout goes to Reigns but Balor gets up and starts firing off Sling Blades. Kinshasa is cut off with a running double stomp from Balor, only to have Cena pop up and throw Balor out to get us down to three. A Superman Punch puts Nakamura down but he’s right back up to kick Cena to the apron. Another knee sends Cena to the floor and we’re down to Nakamura vs. Reigns. I think you know who the fans are behind here.

They slug it out in the middle and it’s a Superman Punch to put Nakamura in trouble. Nakamura is sent to the apron but comes back with a triangle choke over the ropes. That’s rather stupid, though it’s also broken up with a powerbomb. The spear is cut off by a kick to the face and the middle rope knee to the face drops Reigns. Kinshasa gets blocked by a tackle to the face (called a spear) but the second attempt works just fine. Reigns is out on his feet and Nakamura tosses him out for the win at 1:05:29.

Rating: B-. This is one where you’re going to have to think about things for a bit. First and foremost, the winner is a fine choice. Nakamura hadn’t broken through yet and this is the kind of win that can help him do that (it didn’t, but it could have). Second, the last fifteen minutes or so with the final group was great stuff and full of drama as you could see anyone winning.

The problem is everything else, which isn’t terrible but it’s also not too great. The first part barely meant anything with just Balor being there from the beginning until the end. There were a few nice surprises and it doesn’t drag terribly or anything, but you really could skip about the first half hour and not miss much. It’s a completely watchable Rumble but it’s in the middle of the pack at best.

Post match Nakamura (or Shin as Cole keeps calling him because WWE likes to make Cole sound like an idiot) picks AJ Styles for Wrestlemania to really pop the crowd. Sounds awesome to me and for the most part, it was.

Next year’s Rumble is in Phoenix.

The bosses of the show trade bragging barbs. Watching a year later, I can’t believe how stupid these look now. WWE really thinks that we care about these stupid battling brand arguments. I have no idea why, but but that’s been their narrative for years. Stephanie says that no matter who wins the Women’s Royal Rumble, everyone will be surprised. That’s some nice foreshadowing.

We look at the KFC Colonel Sanders Rumble, with Ric Flair reenacting the 1992 Royal Rumble to win the whole thing. I still think this is some fever dream that they managed to record.

Raw Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Jason Jordan/Seth Rollins

Jordan and Rollins are defending after winning the belts on Christmas night. It’s pretty clear that Jordan is filling in for the injured Dean Ambrose and that’s not a bad thing. Rollins and Cesaro start things off with Rolling taking over off a flying mare (you don’t see that one very often). It’s off to Sheamus but a quick Cesaro distraction prevents Jordan from coming in, meaning Rollins is driven back into the corner.

An enziguri gets Rollins a breather as the crowd is eerily silent. Cesaro breaks up the hot tag attempt to Jordan and sends him into the post, leaving Rollins to hit a suicide dive on both challengers. The medics are out checking on Jordan, though that might be making sure he doesn’t fall asleep. Cesaro grabs a chinlock, which is the last thing this match could possibly need. Rollins fights up and tries the springboard but gets clotheslined down by Cesaro.

A Demolition Decapitator and a double backbreaker give the Bar two each and Rollins is in big trouble. Sheamus misses a charge into the post though, giving Rollins a breather as Jordan is STILL down. Rollins gets the Blockbuster on Cesaro, followed by the Falcon Arrow for two. Super White Noise is broken up and Jordan is finally on the apron for a tag. He immediately grabs his head though and tags himself out. That’s fine with the Bar, as the spike White Noise gets the titles back at 12:50.

Rating: D. As you probably guessed, this was Jordan’s last “match”. I know he wasn’t the most thrilling guy in the world, but he was getting the hang of things until his neck just gave out on him and there was no coming back. At least he got a nice run and there’s a very real chance that he could get back in the ring one day. It’s not exactly fair to call the match bad….but it was really quite bad and the fans were just gone in a terrible way.

Here’s what’s coming to the Network.

We recap the Universal Title match. Brock Lesnar is a monster, two other monsters are challenging for his title, Braun Strowman is really strong and broke some stuff.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Kane vs. Braun Strowman

Lesnar is defending. Braun starts fast with running splashes in the corner and a running dropkick to Brock, followed by a knee to his head. Brock then UNLOADS on Strowman with right hands which look a lot like receipts from a former UFC Heavyweight Champion rather than working punches. Lesnar shouts something that sounds like SLOW DOWN as Kane gets back up. Brock grabs a chair which is knocked into his face, followed by a toss out to the floor.

Some shots with the steps put Lesnar and Kane down and it’s time for a pair of tables inside. With one set up in the corner, Strowman chokeslams Kane for two with Lesnar making the save. Three rolling German suplexes….don’t do much to Strowman, who powerslams Lesnar through a table for two. Kane shoulders Strowman through the other table in the corner but again, Strowman is right up. A German suplex sends Lesnar outside but he’s fine enough to hit an F5 to send Strowman through the announcers’ table.

With that not being enough, Lesnar turns the other announcers’ table onto Strowman, literally burying him. Another F5 sends Kane through the other announcers’ table, because we need three of them at ringside. Strowman is back up, because of course he is, and Lesnar isn’t sure what to do. Back in and Lesnar takes two powerslams, only to have Kane make the save with some chair shots to Strowman. Lesnar pops up, sends both of them into each other, and F5’s Kane onto the chair to retain at 11:00.

Rating: D. There were some good power spots in there but this match didn’t need to be on the card either. Lesnar won another match that didn’t do anything for him and then walked off with the title for two and a half months, which was the case for FAR too long. I get the idea of keeping Strowman warm but they’re taking way too long to get anywhere.

We recap the Women’s Royal Rumble. Stephanie McMahon announced that we needed one and everyone nodded along because that’s how WWE works.

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals, Maria Menunos is guest ring announcer and Stephanie is on commentary. As she comes to the ring, the announcers are all over themselves to suck up to her, with lines like “she’s a trailblazer but would never admit it”. Alexa Bliss and Charlotte (reigning Women’s Champions) are sitting at ringside. Sasha Banks is in at #1 and pre-Man Becky Lynch is in at #2 for a feeling out process to start. Neither can grab a submission hold and it’s a double clothesline, allowing Sarah Logan to come in at #3 and pick the bones.

She goes after Becky first but stops to point at the sign, meaning Becky is staying in. A headbutt drops Banks so everyone stands around until it’s Mandy Rose in at #4. The near eliminations abound as Stephanie gets into full on “person having an unnatural conversation” mode with Corey, making her rather annoying in her own right. Lita is in at #5 (in a #timesup shirt) to really fire the fans up for the first time in awhile.

Sasha and Becky stare her down and we get the slugout, which is rather cool when you consider how much of an inspiration she and Trish Stratus were on the current generation. Stephanie talks about how she and Lita were close over the years….and actually mentions CHYNA, which I didn’t think was allowed. Well I guess it’s cool if you’re Stephanie. Mandy is sent to the apron and hits a knee to Lita, who eliminates her without much effort. Kairi Sane is in at #6 and it’s a double spear to Lynch and Banks.

The Insane Elbow hits Banks and there’s one to Becky as Tamina (all in white for some reason) is in at #7. Lita drops her with a DDT because Tamina isn’t very good, setting up Twists of Fate to Lynch and Banks. There’s the moonsault to both of them and Lita throws Tamina out. Becky gets rid of Lita a few seconds later and it’s Dana Brooke in at #8. She goes straight for Sane in the corner….and actually eliminates her in a pretty big upset. Torrie Wilson is in at #9 and we now have to pretend that she was anything more than eye candy because she wrestled fifteen years ago.

Logan dropkicks her down as a TORRIE WILSON chant begins. A backdrop and dropkick to the knee get rid of Dana and it’s Sonya Deville in at #10. That means a kick to the ribs to get rid of Torrie (yes she looked great, and that’s about the extent of her value here). Liv Morgan is in at #11 and we hear about how much she idolized Lita. That likely applies to almost everyone in the match, which is rather cool given that Lita was in the match.

Things settle down again and it’s Molly Holly in at #12 to a rather big reaction. She dumps Logan with ease and there’s the Molly Go Round to Banks. They both fall to the floor (not out) and it’s Lana in at #13. These people are just coming and going at this point with very little other than nostalgia holding things together. Lana takes Liv down with a rather impressive spear and it’s Michelle McCool in at #14.

The fans immediately chant for the Undertaker as Michelle dumps Sonya. Morgan is out as well and Michelle gets rid of Molly with ease. Lana gets back up and is dumped just as well. Becky and Sasha double team Michelle to little avail as Ruby Riott is in at #15. No one can get anywhere and it’s Vickie Guerrero (the obvious comedy spot) in at #16. A bunch of EXCUSE ME’s earn her an elimination and it’s Carmella in at #17, but Vickie blasts her with the Money in the Bank briefcase to leave her laying on the floor.

Natalya is in at #18 (Stephanie: “Here she comes.” Natalya gets “here she comes”?) but Carmella decks her on the floor before it’s time to start the strutting. The Bexploder puts her down though and everyone is on the mat for a breather. Kelly Kelly is in at #19 and opts for some kicks in the corner as Natalya eliminates Michelle.

It’s Naomi in at #20, giving us Sasha, Becky, Riott, Carmella, Natalya, Kelly Kelly and Naomi. A bunch of Rear Views clean house and a kick to the head drops Banks. Sasha gets sent outside (not out, again) but Becky doesn’t have the same luck as Riott gets rid of her. Jacqueline is in at #21 and goes after Kelly as very little is going on at the moment. Nia Jax is in at #22 and gets rid of Kelly and Jacqueline without much effort. Riott gets tossed as well so Naomi fires off kicks. Jax throws her onto the big pile but Naomi lands on the barricade.

As she tries to figure it out, the injured Ember Moon is in at #23 and slugs away with one arm. Naomi walks the barricade and gets to the timekeeper’s area where she steals Menunos’ chair to crawl over to the steps for the improbable save. Back in….and Nia dumps her with ease. With everyone else on the floor, Beth Phoenix is in at # 24 and it’s time for a showdown.

Beth avoids a charge in the corner but can’t get her up in the fireman’s carry. Another attempt works to a big reaction as Natalya gets back in. They can’t get rid of Nia as they knock her to the floor (enough already) instead. Natalya quickly turns on Beth and throws her out as Carmella comes back in. Having this many women on the floor is ridiculous as you can’t remember who is still in.

Asuka is in at #25 to strike away, setting up the big reunion fight with Ember. Moon is fine enough for a one armed Eclipse but Asuka throws her out a few seconds later. So much for that. Mickie James is in at #26 and grabs a neckbreaker on Natalya. A bunch of near eliminations go nowhere and it’s Nikki Bella in at lucky #27, to a strong pop because we live in a random and chaotic universe. There’s a springboard kick to the face to put Banks down and it’s a spear to Natalya. Nikki throws Carmella out but everyone jumps onto the superwoman known as Nikki until Brie Bella comes out of retirement to come in at #28.

That means it’s time for the YES chants and some horrible running knees. The Bellas get their big moment (because they haven’t had one in a few minutes) and Nia is knocked to the floor (say it with me: without being eliminated). Bayley is in at #29 and gets to clean house until Asuka kicks her in the head. Trish Stratus is in at #30, which is quite the moment, though it was always going to be her or Rousey. That gives us a final grouping of Banks, Natalya, Jax, Asuka, James, Nikki, Brie, Bayley and Trish.

After tackling Natalya, we get the Trish vs. Bellas showdown which I think only WWE believes matters. A double Stratusfaction drops the Bellas and it’s time for a real showdown with Trish vs. Mickie. The Stratusphere is blocked so Trish kicks her in the head for the elimination. Nia gets back in so the big beatdown is on with a couple of kicks sending her to the ropes. Everyone gets together for the elimination in a good moment. Sasha dumps Bayley in a bit of a stab in the back and it’s Natalya grabbing a Sharpshooter on Trish.

That’s broken up because it’s a worthless move here, allowing Trish to kick Natalya out to get us to five. Banks goes after Trish, who kicks her in the ribs and does Sasha’s dance (that works). That’s fine with Banks, who kicks Trish out but turns into Asuka. They decide to go for the Bellas but it winds up being all three going after Asuka in a smart move. Banks says she’s ready for Asuka and loads up the double knees in the corner, only to have the Bellas turn on her.

That leaves Asuka and the Bellas (plus probably fourteen women on the floor as you never can tell) with the former firing off kicks to both of them. Brie gets sent to the apron but Nikki cuts Asuka off with the Rack Attack 2.0. A forearm knocks Brie out though as the sisters fight again. Asuka hits the missile dropkick on Nikki but she’s right back with a kick to the face. They both wind up on the apron with Asuka kicking the leg out (barely) for the win at 58:57.

Rating: B-. I remember being confused about what to think of this one last year and that’s the case again here. The legends needed to be there to flesh out the match and while there were some other options (NXT), I can go with this for the sake of history. This was designed to be more of a history of women’s wrestling over the years and there’s nothing wrong with that. They did a great job of making me want to see who was next as it was a nice mixture of all those generations. Having the nice mixture worked well and the right person won, so it’s hard to complain all that much. Stephanie was fine, though rather unnecessary.

Post match Charlotte and Alexa get in the ring to hold up the titles….and here’s Ronda Rousey to a huge reaction because she’s a star that was rumored to be in Columbia for this show. We get the most awkward sign pointing of all time (there’s an art to it) but Asuka won’t shake her hand. A bunch of staring and then high fiving fans, plus a handshake with Stephanie ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. It wasn’t a very good show, but the two namesake matches delivered well enough and only the Universal Title match was really bad. The big story here was Ronda of course and that delivered (awkward pointing aside) so it’s hard to really call this anything but pretty good. The wrestling wasn’t great overall and, again, the show was way too long but the important stuff worked well and that’s how you get a nice show.

Ratings Comparison

Lucha House Party vs. TJP/Jack Gallagher/Drew Gulak

Original: C

Redo: C

Luke Gallows/Karl Anderson vs. Revival

Original: C

Redo: C

Bobby Roode vs. Mojo Rawley

Original: D

Redo: D+

Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn vs. AJ Styles

Original: B

Redo: C+

Usos vs. Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Men’s Royal Rumble

Original: A

Redo: B-

Seth Rollins/Jason Jordan vs. The Bar

Original: C-

Redo: D

Brock Lesnar vs. Kane vs. Braun Strowman

Original: B-

Redo: D

Women’s Royal Rumble

Original: B

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: A-

Redo: C+

I don’t remember the last time I was that far off on so many matches. I mean….dang man.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/28/royal-rumble-2018-i-had-fun-again/