Lockdown 2014
Date: March 9, 2014
Location: BankUnited Center, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s been five months since the last pay per view so this isn’t something TNA is used to anymore. We have a double main event tonight with Magnus defending the World Title against Samoa Joe and Team MVP vs. Team Dixie in Lethal Lockdown for control of the company. The Lethal Lockdown match also has Jeff Hardy returning for the first time in a few months. All of the matches tonight are in the cage so let’s get to it.

We see Magnus arriving earlier today.

The opening video talks about being alone with your greatest enemies inside the cage.

Bad Influence/Chris Sabin vs. Great Muta/Sanada/Yasu

Daniels and Kazarian come out in Great Muta garb circa 1989. Sanada took the X Title from Austin Aries a week ago in Japan. Sabin and Sanada get things going and fight over hiptosses before Sanada grabs an abdominal stretch. It’s quickly off to Muta to drop some fast elbows on Sabin followed by a crossface hold. Daniels makes the save but we get the Green Mist from Muta.

Back to Yasuyuki who gets taken into the wrong corner with Daniels dropping him with a belly to back suplex, setting up a slingshot legdrop from Kaz for two. Daniels suplexes Kaz onto Yatzu, setting up a springboard moonsault for two from Christopher. Back to Kaz who misses a top rope legdrop, allowing the hot tag off to Sanada.

He cleans house until Bad Influence hits a quick High/Low for two. Daniels takes Sanada down for a second but a hot tag brings in Muta to really clean house with dragon screw leg whips all around. The Mist puts Daniels down and there’s the Shining Wizard, setting up a moonsault from Sanada for the pin on Daniels at 9:22.

Rating: C. Not a bad match and a good choice for an opener, but it’s also a good example of what’s wrong with the all cages gimmick. The cage added absolutely nothing here and there’s no reason for the cage to be there at all. The fans reacted well to the Japanese guys so it certainly wasn’t a terrible idea.

Here’s Spud to introduce Dixie as real royalty. She calls herself a real queen, unlike that stupid King James. Dixie rants about how MVP and the people have driven her to do something she’s going to regret. She built this company into the international success that it is. Earlier this week she went to New York to get a little insurance policy to ensure victory tonight. Jeff Hardy walked out on this company and therefore breached his contract. Therefore, he’s banned from the building tonight and now we can enjoy the rest of the show.

Velvet Sky and Eric Young are answering internet questions. Eric thinks everything changes after tonight.

We recap Shaw vs. Anderson. Shaw is obsessed with Christy Hemme and Anderson is protecting her from harm. Samuel thinks this means Anderson is preventing him from being with Christy and has been attacking him as a result.

Mr. Anderson vs. Samuel Shaw

This is escape only. Before Anderson comes out, Shaw climbs to the top of the cage and says if Christy doesn’t come out, he’s going to professionally end it all. Before he can jump though, Anderson comes out and points out the obvious: the cage isn’t high enough to do a lot of damage. All that will do is break his ankle and make Shaw look even goofier. Anderson offers to beat Shaw up a bit and then take him somewhere really high to jump.

We’re finally ready to go with Anderson taking over for a few moments but running into a boot in the corner. Christy is at ringside now. An early Mic Check is blocked but Anderson takes him down with a gutwrench suplex. Shaw chokes Anderson in the corner but can’t quite get over the cage. Anderson goes after him but gets rammed face first into the cage a few times and knocked down to the mat. Shaw still can’t climb fast enough though and Anderson runs the corner for a belly to back superplex.

Shaw sends him face first into the cage but Anderson sends him into the cage door, knocking it open and drilling Earl Hebner in the process. There’s the Mic Check to Shaw and a second one sends him face first into the buckle. Anderson calls him a frickin weirdo and climbs the cage but Shaw reaches through a hole in the cage and pulls Christy in.

Shaw starts crawling on the mat ala Kevin Sullivan at the 1988 Great American Bash. Anderson makes it to the floor but there’s no referee. Mr. gets the key from Hebner and opens the door for the save but Shaw hits Anderson low and chokes him out before leaving for the win at 10:12.

Rating: C. I liked this a lot more than I was expecting to with Shaw getting creepier and creepier every week. The longer this story goes the more likely it seems that Christy joins Shaw at some point, but it doesn’t have quite the impact since she and Anderson are just friends. Not much of a match but the story and characters are good. It’s very nice to see someone like Anderson go from one feud right into another like people did back in the day instead of just floating around and doing nothing at all.

Team Roode isn’t sure what the insurance policy is and argue about who will own what percentage of the company after they win.

We quickly look at Ethan Carter III injuring Kurt Angle, putting Kurt out of the match tonight.

Here’s Ethan who has issued an open challenge for Angle’s spot. Ethan talks about growing up wanting to be the best and to beat the best. In 1996, Kurt Angle was the best and Ethan took him out twice now. The fans say he can’t wrestle but Ethan comes back with chants of “I’m very good” and “I disagree.” By the way this is our third promo tonight and it’s getting clear that they’re stalling, despite having eight matches. He asks anyone to come out here but warns the fans not to hijack this show.

Ethan Carter III vs. Bobby Lashley

Well that’s a surprise. Ethan insists that Lashley isn’t on the roster but Bobby powerslams him down and hits a big spear. There was no bell so it wasn’t a match, meaning Ethan is still undefeated.

Kenny King’s King of the Night promo.

Magnus says he’s all alone tonight but he’s used to that. He has to battle against Joe on his own tonight and he’s fighting a lone crusade. Something doesn’t sit well with him tonight because everyone is talking about what Joe is going to do to him. No one has asked what Magnus is going to do to Joe. Tonight, Joe bows down to the reign of Magnus.

Manik vs. Tigre Uno

Pin/submission to win here. Tigre Uno is Extreme Tiger from AAA. They trade some very fast wristlocks to start before they both go for dropkicks and crash to the mat. Back up and they miss each other a few times until Tigre dropkicks Manik down. Manik comes out of the corner with a headscissors before throwing him to the top rope, only to have Tigre catch himself on the cage. A moonsault gets two on Manik but Tigre misses a charge and goes flying into the steel.

Manik gets two off a belly to back suplex and drives some knees into Tigre’s back. There’s a surfboard hold from Manik and he drops Tigre backwards for two. Manik gets two more off a dropkick and a backbreaker gets the same. Tigre comes back by jumping up to the top rope and coming down with a hurricanrana.

A spinwheel kick and running DDT drop Manik again but he can’t get a sunset bomb off the top. Instead Manik dropkicks him in the back and gets two of his own off a sitout powerbomb. They trade standing switches and Tigre tries a capture suplex, only to drop Manik down onto his head. A quick Sabretooth (moonsault into a 450) Splash is enough to give Tigre the pin at 7:48.

Rating: C+. Take two guys and let them fly around the ring for eight minutes. It worked every night in WCW and it’s going to work every single time you use it in wrestling. Tigre Uno looked good out there and will be a nice addition to the division, bringing the roster up to what, five people? Good stuff here but this show needs something that matters soon.

We recap Gunner vs. Storm. Gunner took the Feast or Fired briefcase from him and Storm was livid, eventually turning on Gunner to cost him the World Title match against Magnus. Tonight it’s last man standing.

James Storm vs. Gunner

New music and long tights for James tonight. They start fighting on the ramp and Storm gets in a good shot early. Gunner rams him into the cage and suplexes him on the floor before going to get some chairs. He throws three of them into the cage but Storm sends him into the steps to slow Gunner down. Storm sends him into the cage and slams the cage door on Gunner’s head. He demands a count and we get the opening bell followed by a four count.

Storm wedges a chair into the corner and takes Gunner down with a jumping DDT for five. Gunner tries to get up but gets choked down by a tag rope and dropped throat first across the top rope. James ties the rope around Gunner’s throat and ties it to the rope but Gunner rips it away, only to be taken down by a low blow. Gunner no sells some ramming into the buckle and rams his own head into the same buckle for good measure.

Some running knees including one to Storm’s head have Storm in trouble and Gunner pulls the top of the steps into the ring. A hard shot to James’ head gets eight but he comes back with a quick Closing Time (Codebreaker) before ramming Gunner into the chair in the corner. James blasts him in the back with the chair but Gunner is getting that look in his eyes. He fights up and scores with a spear and an F5 as the fans think this is awesome. Storm tries to grab the chair but Gunner stands on it to thwart the Cowboy’s plans.

Gunner slams him down again and goes up, only to have Storm throw the chair at Gunner’s head on the way down for seven. Another hard shot to the back gets five and Storm sets up some chairs in the ring. He loads up the Eye of the Storm but Gunner gets to the ropes in the corner. Both guys climb to the middle rope and ram each other into the cage until Gunner superplexes him through the chairs for the win at 12:02.

Rating: B. Good but not great last man standing match here as they beat a lot of tar out of each other. Gunner getting a win over a former world champion on pay per view isn’t going to hurt anythin gbut I just don’t see a top level guy in him. The ending spot and chair pelting spot looked good and the match was a lot of fun, which is what matters here.

We look at Dixie’s promo again because that’s what we do in TNA.

Team MVP is ready for revenge but don’t like the idea of being patient. Richards wants to get Aries for injuring his shoulder but MVP tells him to keep his composure. MVP promises to unleash the Wolves and the hunt will be on.

We recap Gail Kim vs. Madison Rayne. They used to be best friends but titles came between them. How many times has TNA used that story for this division in recent years?

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Madison Rayne

Rayne is defending. Gail quickly takes her down to start and chokes with a boot but Madison gets a quick rollup for two. Kim fakes her out on a middle rope cross body and tries to leave, only to have Madison get above her and use her legs to ram Gail’s head into the cage. Madison gets pulled off the cage and down to the mat in a crash for two but she’s still able to make a save as Gail tries to leave.

Kim bends her over a knee for a backbreaker but Rayne stretches her legs up for a kick to the head. Madison sends her face first into the cage and drops her with some forearms and a low dropkick. Both girls climb the cage but Gail brings her down with a neckbreaker in a big crash. Madison makes a save to prevent an escape but gets leveraged into the cage for two. They both climb again and Gail is sent down, setting up a top rope spear for the pin to retain Madison’s title at 8:55.

Rating: C. Madison is getting better in the ring and is of course very nice to look at so the match wasn’t all that bad. The cage added something with the collisions here but it’s still nothing that blew me away. The division is dying for some fresh stories but that’s been the case for years now.

Joe says he’s dominated the last few months to earn this shot. He once considered Magnus to be a brother but now Magnus has thrown that away for the quick and easy path to the title. Joe will make the pain tangible and bash it into Magnus’ skull over and over again.

We recap Joe vs. Magnus which was already covered in Joe’s promo. Magnus was part of the Main Event Mafia but joined Dixie Carter to become champion. Tonight it’s knockout or submission only to win.

TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Magnus

Magnus is defending. Joe gets in the first offense with a hard kick to the thigh but the champion takes him down with a headlock. In a unique move, Joe grabs a wristlock and headbutts Magnus’ hand before putting on a hammerlock. A hard back elbow to the jaw drops Magnus again and Joe peppers him with right hands in the corner. Joe chops him down in the corner and hits the Facewash.

Magnus avoids the running backsplash and hammers away before raking Joe’s eyes. The champion misses a charge and goes into the cage so Joe rams him face first into the steel over and over. The ramming draws blood and Joe goes right after it but misses a charge, allowing the Englishman to send him face first into the steel over and over. Now Joe is busted open and Magnus locks on the Figure Four.

Joe turns it over but Magnus immediately lets go and puts on a camel clutch. That’s powered out of as well but Magnus slaps on a sleeper. Joe picks him up into the air and drops Magnus down onto his back, putting both guys down. Magnus loses a forearm slugout but gets a boot up in the corner to stop a charging Samoan. Joe comes right back with a slam and the backsplash followed by a cross armbreaker.

Magnus rolls out and heads up top and shoves Joe down before dropping the big elbow. Joe gets back to his feet and wins a slugout with his hard slaps before crotching Magnus down on the top. There’s the MuscleBuster and the Koquina Clutch but Abyss’ hand comes up through the ring and pulls Joe through the mat. After a few seconds, a furious Joe slowly comes up through the ring and chokes Magnus in the corner. Abyss comes up through the hole and hits Joe in the stomach with Janice before a Black Hole Slam sets up the Koquina Clutch from Magnus for the win at 19:28.

Rating: B-. Well the Authority has its Kane now. I don’t think it was a big surprise that there were shenanigans at the end but the question was what would happen. Abyss being the corporate monster gives him something to do but it’s not exactly something new. Then again, this is TNA where we have to have an evil alliance on top of the company because that’s almost all they know how to do.

Post match Eric Young asks Abyss what he’s thinking but Magnus says get him out of here.

Dixie sends Spud to get the insurance policy.  Roode comes in and says he’s nervous but Dixie says there’s insurance.  They tell each other not to screw this up.

We recap Lethal Lockdown with both teams fighting for control of the company.  Aries swerved MVP to join Team Roode but MVP brought back Jeff Hardy to even things out.

Team MVP vs. Team Roode

MVP, Wolves, Jeff Hardy

Bobby Roode, Bro Mans, Austin Aries

It’s Lethal Lockdown, meaning WarGames and the winner gets control of TNA (Roode is fighting for Dixie and gets 10% ownership if his team wins). Two men start for five minutes followed by a member of Team Roode (due to winning a match on Impact) enters for a two minute advantage. After two minutes a member of Team MVP enters to even things out for two minutes. This alternates until all eight are in when a roof with weapons is lowered and then it’s one fall to a finish, including pins.

Aries and the hometown boy MVP get things going with MVP kicking Aries in the face. Austin comes back with a bulldog and the Last Chancery before laying on the ropes. A missile dropkick doesn’t work as MVP catches him in an exploder suplex and the Ballin Elbow but Aries takes him out before it lands. Aries hits a running dropkick but MVP slams him down and hammers away. Austin escapes an arm hold but misses an elbow drop as Robbie E comes in for the advantage after four minutes.

MVP immediately drops him on his face but Aries gets in a cheap shot and the heels take over. A top rope ax handle puts MVP down and E drops a middle rope elbow to the face. They talk trash to MVP until Eddie Edwards ties things up. Eddie cleans house as you expect a fresh man to do in a Lethal Lockdown match. DJ Zema Ion tries to interfere but gets knocked off the cage wall in a big bump. The good guys control for a bit until the clock runs out with Jesse Godderz giving Team Roode a 3-2 advantage.

The Bro Mans take over without much happening until Davey Richards and his bad arm ties things up. Davey of course gives his team the advantage again with the fast paced double team offense as the WarGames formula is firmly in place here. Stereo half crabs have the Bro Mans in trouble until Aries clotheslines the Wolves from behind. Roode and his awesome sleeveless coat makes it 4-3. The captains go face to face until Roode takes MVP down with a spinebuster.

The heels take complete control until the clock comes on and it’s Willow (Jeff Hardy’s new gimmick, which looks like a black and white Ultimo Dragon mask and really high pants) to tie things up and complete both teams. He comes in as the lights are out and dives off the top of the cage. If they don’t want us to know he’s Hardy, they might have wanted to give him a full body suit to cover the big green tattoo. Thankfully Taz and Tenay drop hints about who it is as the roof with the weapons lower…..and here’s Dixie.

She introduces the insurance policy as the special referee: Bully Ray. As in the guy that spent a year and a half trying to destroy her company. Team MVP waits for Ray at the door but Team Roode jumps them from behind. The weapons are brought in with Ray finding a table under the ring. Dixie sits in a chair on the stage to watch the carnage as it’s all Team Roode. Bobby puts Davey’s bad arm in the Crossface with Bully asking if he wants to give up and talking trash at the same time.

Team Roode all has front facelocks on their opponents but a triple backdrop breaks them free. Richards is broken out quickly and MVP makes sure to hit the Ballin Elbow on Roode. The weapons are used more extensively and Willow loads up a powerbomb on Aries but throws him face first into the cage instead. Robbie is tied up in the Tree of Woe as Ray is just standing in the corner watching. The Wolves set up a trashcan in front of Robbie’s face for an AWESOME double Van Terminator.

Aries is sat in a chair and kicked over and over until he grabs Richards for a BRAINBUSTER THROUGH THE CHAIR. Willow breaks up the save but Aries puts him on a trashcan, only to have Willow move before the 450 only hits the can. A Twist of Fate and Swanton gets a very delayed two on Aries as Roode makes the save and sends Willow into the cage. The table is set up in the cage but Ray gets in the way of the Roode Bomb to MVP. Ray and Roode stare each other down until Ray gives him a Bully Bomb. MVP hits a quick Drive By on Roode for the pin at 26:53.

Rating: B+. The match started slowly but those big spots at the end were great. MVP winning is the right call and fairly obvious (I don’t believe heels have EVER won Lethal Lockdown) but at least there was some drama in there. I don’t get the point of having Hardy be Willow if they’re going to just acknowledge he’s Hardy in a costume. Good main event and a match the show needed.

Dixie and Spud go to the cage but Spud pulls her away from Ray. Bully puts Roode through a table to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The show was entertaining but the ending didn’t do much for me. The New York thing was pretty obvious if you thought about it long enough and Lethal Lockdown was the same as it always was. Overall it wasn’t bad, but like everything else with TNA it didn’t feel like it made things better.

The company is still in the same place: a promotion with a not bad story but nothing all that exciting because it’s most of the same guys just being rotated into different spots with about one new guy being added to the main event every year. At least the Authority is broken (for now) and we don’t have some evil owner. Then again this is TNA so I give them until June to have Dixie back on TV and in power.

Results

Great Muta/Sanada/Yasu b. Bad Influence/Chris Sabin – Moonsault to Daniels

Samuel Shaw b. Mr. Anderson – Shaw escaped the cage

Tigre Uno b. Manik – Sabretooth Splash

Gunner b. James Storm – Superplex through two chairs

Madison Rayne b. Gail Kim – Top rope spear

Magnus b. Samoa Joe – Koquina Clutch

Team MVP b. Team Roode – Drive By to Roode

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Yeah, TNA still has pay per views.  It’s been six months since the last one, but TNA still have them.We’ll go with the main events first.  Magnus over Joe to retain the title.  THey’ve spent way too much time building up Magnus to have him lose his first PPV title defense.  Unfortunately TNA has gotten into this habit of building up long drawn out stories that can only really change at Bound For Glory, making the seven or so months leading up to them rather pointless.  I think that’s where we’re going here as Magnus’ title reign is built up as unbeatable until someone stops him at Bound For Glory.

Lethal Lockdown seems to be too easy to mess up.  At the end of the day, MVP’s team is just too strong to lose a straight match, but the last thing I want to see is Dixie begging to get power back.  The second to last thing I want to see is Dixie with all the power, but it seems that we’re going to get one of those things.  You know, because Dixie is what really drives TNA of course.  I’ll go with Team Dixie for the win in a screwjob ending, because that’s what TNA does when they have something good going.

Storm over Gunner with the Last Call.  Gunner isn’t a long term top guy and I think TNA knows it.

I’ll take Gail to win the Knockouts Title in the cage because we haven’t gone long enough without Gail talking about how she is the best Knockout in the world and issuing open challenges for the title because the idea of having a story in that division is just not going to happen no matter how long we need one.

There’s a six man X-Division tag with three guys from Wrestle-1 in Japan against Bad Influence and Chris Sabin.  I still don’t get how thi sis supposed to appeal to the American fans.  It helps a bit with the international fans, which is fine but it might be a good idea to focus on America where the business is based.  Does TNA think people are going to buy this show for Great Muta, who was a hot young act nearly 25 years ago?  The other guys are the current X-Division Champion who beat Aries for the title in Japan recently and a guy who doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page.  I get that the match will be action packed and fun, but it’s only going to do them so much good.  Then again I’ve never been a fan of the invasion angles at all.

Tigre Uno over Manik.  They’ve spent too much time building up Tigre with promos to have him lose his debut.

I’ll go with Samuel Shaw over Anderson, setting up a rematch down the line.

Ethan Carter III over whoever they bring in to face him in Angle’s place.

 

Overall Lockdown doesn’t really interest me all that much.  At the end of the day, they have eight matches on the card.  Two of them are with guys debuting for the company with no story and a third is a mystery opponent.  When you’re only running one PPV every six months, I need a little big more than a card with nearly half the matches having no backstory.  The show should be fun as TNA PPVs usually deliver, but this doesn’t blow my skirt up.  The fact that every match is in a cage makes it even worse.

Thoughts/predictions?

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 6, 2014
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re STILL in England and it’s the go home show for Lockdown. The main story coming into tonight is a six man elimination tag for the advantage in Lethal Lockdown on Sunday. TNA has been doing better lately but they need a really good showing on Sunday to take it to the next level. Given their track record, I’m hoping for good things tonight. Let’s get to it.

After the usual recap, here are Roode and the Bro Mans with something to say. The Bro Mans are champions again, having won the titles in Japan. Nice touch of continuity there. Roode says he and his team are ready for Lockdown and he wants MVP right now. Instead he gets Aries (wearing the X Title to take away the nice bit of continuity) who says that 10% of the pie isn’t much but it’s a piece and Aries wants half.

The Bro Mans say not so fast because they want a piece too. Roode says no because he’s the captain and he isn’t sharing. The top priority is winning the match and Aries says that isn’t a problem. There isn’t a single person in this company that can save MVP, so here are the Wolves and MVP to disagree.

MVP says he made a mistake when he trusted Aries, but he won’t be fooled twice in a row. He had to do some hustling to come up with another partner and he has made his decision. Before he can say anything, here’s Dixie Carter to cut him off. She doesn’t care who MVP’s partner is because she’s been in New York securing the victory for Team Roode. The company means everything to her and she’ll do anything to keep it under her control.

MVP understands but asks if Dixie wants to know the mystery partner. It’s a former world champion and that’s enough for Dixie to want to know. It’s Jeff Hardy and Dixie FREAKS. Dixie says over her dead body and MVP offers to send a wreath to her funeral. Roode jumps MVP and the six man starts before a break.

MVP/Wolves vs. Robbie E/Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

Elimination tag and the winning team gets the advantage at Lockdown. We’re joined in progress after a break with Robbie driving Edwards into the corner before it’s off to Roode for some kicks to the ribs. The villains take turns working over Eddie until he backflips out of a belly to back suplex and makes the tag off to MVP. The title belts are laying in the corner of the rung until Davey lays one of them on the floor. MVP hits a quick Drive By for the pin on Robbie at 2:00.

The Wolves hit a double kick on Roode for two but Aries comes in with a running dropkick in the corner to Edwards, followed by the brainbuster for the pin at 3:45 total. Richards and Aries come in for a slugout with Richards kicking Aries agianst the ropes but Austin coming back with a discus forearm to put both guys down. A double tag brings in MVP and Roode for a forearm and clothesline exchange that goes nowhere. Roode gets knocked down but Aries makes the save, allowing Roode to hit a clothesline to the back of MVP’s head for a pin (with Roode holding the feet) at 5:10 total.

So it’s Richards 2-1 against Roode and Aries. Austin starts by working over Davey in the corner and getting two off a bulldog. Davey is sent outside for a top rope ax handle from Aries but comes back with a dropkick to take out both heels. A running knee to Roode’s chest looks to set up the top rope double stomp but Bobby rolls away. The Roode Bomb is countered but Richards rolls into a half crab, only to have Aries come in with a chair to the arm for a DQ at 7:55 total. Edwards comes out to check on his partner and we take a break.

After a break there’s no official winner, but Earl Hebner gives them one hour to get Davey back in the ring for a match with Roode. The trainer doesn’t think it’s going to happen.

We recap Samuel Shaw and Mr. Anderson fighting because Shaw creeped Hemme out. Shaw says last week was beautiful and he’ll do something else beautiful in the ring tonight.

Samuel Shaw vs. Eric Young

Shaw comes out with a cup of tea. Christy isn’t in her usual ringside seat so Anderson comes out to do the intros instead. Shaw yells at Anderson and almost gets rolled up for the pin. Young hammers away in the corner but Shaw just smiles at him. Samuel hammers away in the corner as the fans call him creepy. Shaw yells at Anderson again and Eric hammers away and is sent to the apron for some strutting. A forearm to the head sets up a belly to belly for two. They head outside and Shaw throws the tea into Young’s eyes for a DQ at 2:23.

Shaw throws Young into Anderson and chokes Mr. out again. He says he’ll be going to claim what is rightfully his. Christy wisely walks away in the back.

Richards says he needs to go to the hospital but MVP has something to do. Davey looks confused.

Richards says he needs to go to the hospital but MVP has something to do. Davey looks confused.

Back from a break and MVP is looking for Aries. He goes into the locker room and yells at Austin over attacking Davey. MVP knows how things are working now.

We recap the Ethan vs. Angle showdown last week. Ethan comes in to see Dixie and she tells him to just focus.

Shaw is looking for Christy in the back. After a break he’s still looking and goes into the locker room. Instead he finds Velvet getting dressed and asks where Christy is. Velvet says the makeup room and runs off.

Here’s Ethan Carter III to call out Kurt Angle. If there’s one thing he learned last week, it’s never meet your heroes because they might sucker punch you in the face. Carter rants about all of the parts of Angle’s leg that he’ll injure and lists off all the people he’s beaten. Once he beats Angle on Sunday, he’ll be the American Icon. Angle finally limps out and says he’s ready to go now but Carter runs. Kurt goes to leave but Ethan jumps him to go after the leg. He slaps on a leg lock until referees make the save.

MVP talks to the Wolves and Richards says he’ll be standing up tonight.

Video on Kenny King being King of the Night. Nice idea at least.

Alpha Female/Gail Kim/Lei’D Tapa vs. Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne/ODB

Madison jumps Gail to start and scores with a quick northern lights suplex. Off to ODB for a Bronco Buster but Tapa comes in and powerbombs her down for two. Back up and they slug it out until it’s off to Velvet vs. Alpha Female. Everything breaks down and Sabin goes after Velvet with a chain and yells at her a lot. Chris charges at her but gets low bridged to the floor. Alpha Female tries a full nelson but gets kicked in the face. In Yo Face is enough to pin Female at 4:17.

Rating: D+. This was a messy match and it didn’t go much of anywhere. I’m not sure why you would have Female lose this quickly unless she’s just there for the European tour. Madison and Velvet only had a few seconds here but that’s better than no build for their title match on Sunday. Yeah they have a title match on Sunday.

Shaw is still looking for the makeup room.

Willow is still creepy.

Shaw goes to find Christy but finds Anderson in a red wig instead. They fight behind a door and Anderson puts lipstick on Shaw’s head.

We recap Storm vs. Gunner.

Here’s Gunner to talk about the code he lives by. He takes every day at a time and he remembers a lot of days since he won that briefcase. This Sunday at Lockdown he’s inside a cage and that brings back a lot of memories for him. This brings out Storm (minus the catchphrase to start his music) who says it sounds like Gunner is just complaining about his bad luck. Gunner needs to pack a lunch on Sunday because it’s going to be an all day beating. Storm gets in the ring and promises to cut Gunner down before kicking him low. The Last Call to a kneeling Gunner knocks him cold. Apparently it’s a last man standing match.

Roode wants Richards in the ring right now.

Bobby comes out and wants the referee to count to ten so his team can win. Davey comes out around six and it’s time for our match.

Davey Richards vs. Bobby Roode

Bobby of course goes right after the arm and wraps it around the post. Back in and Roode drops a knee on the arm and stands around for a bit. Richards rolls to the floor and manages to crotch Roode as Bobby goes after him. Roode heads outside but gets taken down by a suicide dive, only to injure the arm even worse. Back inside and a missile dropkick gets two for Davey and he fires off some kicks to the chest. The Roode Bomb is countered into a half crab but Bobby rolls over and kicks at the bad arm. Richards goes shoulder first into the post and the Roode Bomb sets up the Crossface for the tap at 5:31.

Rating: C. Basic idea here but it did its job well enough. This give MVP’s team a slight disadvantage going into Sunday which is something they need to do given how one sided the match is on paper. Richards sold the arm well and it’s a decent enough story coming into the PPV.

MVP and Edwards make the save.

Tigre Uno is still coming.

Dixie tells Magnus to stop worrying and just win on Sunday. She implies his match means nothing to her.

Here are Magnus and Joe for their showdown to end the show. Magnus says the two of them have won titles and championships in Japan and here in TNA, including here in this building. Joe has had far too many chances to win the title but has blown it time after time due to his rage, and that’s exactly what’s going to happen on Sunday.

Joe says that he does have a rage problem because he wants to make people feel as much pain as he can. That’s exactly what he can do on Sunday because it’s Joe’s Rules, meaning he can beat on Magnus as long as he want and take the title from him. Magnus gets in a cheap shot and gets choked out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a good go home show but it didn’t do much for me. The heels getting the advantage in the cage isn’t a surprise at all and the matches were just ok. Joe vs. Magnus was a good build but I can’t imagine Magnus loses the title this early. It should be a good show on Sunday but this was just ok.

Results

MVP/Wolves vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries/Robbie E went to a no contest

Eric Young b. Samuel Shaw via DQ when Shaw threw tea into Young’s eyes

Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne/ODB b. Alpha Female/Gail Kim/Lei’D Tapa – In Yo Face to Female

Bobby Roode b. Davey Richards – Crossface

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 27, 2014
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Tenay

The main story coming out of last week’s show are Storm turning on Gunner to cost him the world title and the official announcement of Lethal Lockdown for control of the company. Bobby Roode will be captaining Dixie’s team but we’re not sure who will be joining him against Team MVP. Other than that we’ll likely get more build towards Joe vs. Magnus. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s events.

Kurt Angle is inducted into the Hall of Fame tonight. They couldn’t wait for a PPV weekend in nine days for that?

Gunner is looking for James Storm and promises him a beating.

Dixie Carter isn’t here tonight so Roode and Spud have match making authority. Nice to see that if one boss isn’t around, a bunch of others can take her place.

Here’s MVP to open things up with a long list of nicknames. First up, he guarantees that Gunner will get his title shot once he wins full control of TNA. However, that means that it’s Magnus vs. Joe at Lockdown for the world title. MVP brings out Samoa Joe to a very enthusiastic pop from the London crowd. Magnus comes out as well to some solid heat from his home country crowd. We get a clip of his title defense last week where Storm saves the title for the champ.

Magnus rips on London for slipping from a great city into a town ridden with crime, poverty and debauchery. As for MVP, Magnus is the only person that handles his career, so MVP needs to get on with whatever he’s saying. We’re here for a contract signing tonight and MVP tilts the advantage even further to Joe by making it knockout or tap out only.

Joe immediately signs but Magnus says he’s got a whole decks of cards left to play. He calls Joe an unrefined animal and his fans use horrible chants like Joe’s Gonna Kill You. Joe is a dangerous animal and Magnus is the man that will put that animal down. Magnus signs as well and tells Joe to do something about Magnus getting in his face. Joe headbutts him into the corner and ERUPTS on the champion with rights and lefts. He stomps Magnus down in the corner but referees pull him off.

We get a clip from a house show where the Wolves took the Tag Titles from the Bro Mans.

The Bro Mans and Zema are panicking over losing their titles and decide the easiest way to get revenge is to get on Team Roode. They go to see Bobby but he says Bad Influence wants in too. Tonight Roode is making a triple threat tag tonight with Bad Influence, the Wolves and the Bro Mans. If either the Bro Mans or Bad Influence win, they’re on the team. If the Wolves win, the search continues.

Bad Influence vs. Bro Mans vs. Wolves

Non-title and no entrances for anyone. Daniels runs Davey over to start but walks into some armdrags into an O’Connor Roll for two. Davey hooks a modified surfboard as Eddie and Kaz come in for a regular version of the same move to Kazarian. Things settle back down and it’s off to Kaz who walks into an armdrag of his own. The Wolves start speeding things up and working on the arm but Kaz is able to get Davey into the corner for a double team as Bad Influence takes over.

Daniels teases making a tag to a Bro Man but pulls Davey back in a smart move. Richards is able to get a hot tag to Eddie who cleans house and slams Kaz down for two. Robbie makes the save and Zema is already blowing that stupid horn. Bad Influence hits a quick powerbomb/neckbreaker combo for two on Edwards but Eddie comes back with a running Stunner out of the corner to Kaz. Everything breaks down and Davey hits the top rope double stomp to Kaz but Robbie comes in to steal the pin at 5:30.

Rating: C. So they’re putting a comedy team in a match for the future of the company. It didn’t work at Old School and it’s not likely to work here. Bad Influence are also a comedy team but at least they’re capable of having some awesome matches when they need to. The Wolves are growing on me and I don’t have a problem with them winning the titles so soon.

Ethan Carter III has selected a British wrestling legend as his opponent tonight and he’ll become the new face of American wrestling.

Bobby Roode recruits Austin Aries for his team.

Doug Williams vs. Ethan Carter III

The fans are entirely behind Williams and he jumps Ethan to start. Williams pounds away for a few moments before Ethan hits a quick low blow and the One Percenter for the pin at 1:20.

Carter goes after Doug’s knee post match.

James Storm arrives and comes to the ring after a break. He says he doesn’t run and asks Gunner to come out here if he wants an explanation for what happened last week. Gunner says this better be good. Storm says he screwed Gunner out of his title shot and had it planned out ever since Gunner stole the briefcase in Feast or Fired. The nail in the coffin was Gunner handing him the Tag Title briefcase like feeding scraps to a dog. Storm says Gunner should owe him a thank you for picking his career up off the ground.

Gunner says the sad thing is James Storm actually believes that. In the Marine Corps, a thank you was standing next to your friend no matter what. Gunner went over to war so that James Storm could sit here and drink those cold beers. Storm says it doesn’t matter if Gunner had lived or died but Gunner says the people would care. The fight is on and Storm swings a chair at Gunner’s head, only to hit the post instead. Storm runs off when Gunner gets the chair.

After a break Gunner says Storm won’t be able to run forever and he’ll have to go through Gunner.

Magnus is in the ring and looking disheveled after Joe’s attack earlier. He’s found someone to take care of Joe but of course they’re not from England. He went to Germany and found a natural born killer named Bad Bones, who I believe won the international Gut Check competition.

Joe vs. Bad Bones

Bones is a bald guy with a lot of tattoos and some muscles. He jumps Joe during the entrance but Joe pounds him into the corner and hits the Facewash. The MuscleBuster and Koquina Clutch get the submission from Bones at 1:16. So much for Bones.

MVP asks Aries for his decision on Lethal Lockdown. Aries isn’t sure because he doesn’t trust either guy because you can’t do that in this business. He asks to referee their match tonight so he can make his decision up close and personal. MVP agrees.

It’s time for Angle’s Hall of Fame induction. JB gives him a very nice induction and we get a video that I believe aired when he was announced last year. Angle limps to the ring and is given a Rolex watch. He’s touched by the fans’ reaction and says the Hall of Fame is about the fans. TNA wouldn’t exist without them and he can’t thank them enough. He was supposed to accept this honor back in October but he wasn’t in a good place, either personally or professionally.

Angle says he’s in a better place now and thanks God for giving him the abilities he has. He thanks his wife and kids for their support and hopes he can make them proud. The talent in the back keeps him motivated and help him every day. Angle thanks each and every one of the fans and says it’s a great night to be Kurt Angle. That seems to be it but here’s EC3 to interrupt.

Ethan says he was touched by the ceremony and the video, but he has a tribute video of his own. We see a video of him attacking Kurt’s knee last week, complete with thought bubbles that aren’t particularly funny (“I am the new face of American wrestling”, because being the face of everything is a thing in wrestling now).

Ethan says he has big news and Angle invites him into the ring to share it with the world. He opens a piece of paper, with writing on the back saying he beat Angle and Sting. Apparently Angle has a torn ACL and MCL, meaning he requires surgery due to the attack at Ethan’s hands. His career might be over, so Ethan thinks Angle should retire. Angle gets in his face and asks why Ethan would do this when he knows Angle will tear his throat out.

Ethan says he knows Kurt is injured but Angle says you should go straight to the source. Carter: “Why? The internet is always right. Well at least 50% of the time.” Angle says the actual source is right 100% of the time. He has no torn ACL or MCL and knocks Ethan out of the ring. Angle says cut the music because he has an announcement. MVP has given him a match at Lockdown with any wrestler he wants, so guess who he’s picked.

Lei’D Tapa/Alpha Female vs. Madison Rayne/Velvet Sky

Alpha Female really doesn’t work as a name. It’s a brawl to start as Tazz talks about Alpha Female and Bad Bones, completely failing to be funny as usual. Tapa throws Madison around but it’s quickly off to Velvet vs. Female. Sabin tries to come in and go after Velvet but Alpha Female quickly saves him. Tapa misses a middle rope splash but Sabin offers a distraction, allowing Gail to cheap shot Madison. Tapa hits her over the shoulder Stunner for the pin on Rayne at 2:31.

The monsters beat down Madison and Velvet until ODB makes the save.

Tigre Uno is coming at Lockdown. It’s Extreme Tiger from AAA.

Samuel Shaw says people don’t understand. He was helping Christy Hemme last week and the people don’t understand that. He’ll make them understand right now.

Shaw comes to the arena and quotes Ralph Waldo Emerson, saying that to be great is to be misunderstood. Christy has misunderstood him so he asks her to get in the ring. He says there are certain men that aren’t respecting her and those men have been looking at her wrong. Shaw is here to protect her and wants everything from her. This brings out Anderson and Shaw says he’s one of those guys. Christy is lucky Shaw was there last week but Anderson tells him to shut up.

Whatever relationship Shaw thinks he has with Christy isn’t real but here’s what is real. Anderson rolls up his sleeves but Shaw says he’s been nothing but a gentleman. Even if he were to try something with her though, she would be receptive because women like her are always available. Christy slaps him in the face and Shaw hides behind her as Anderson comes in. Shaw shoves Christy onto Anderson and slaps the choke on Mr., pulling him down to the mat.

Willow is still creepy and still coming.

Storm and Gunner fight in the back until agents break it up. Gunner shouts that this ends at Lockdown.

Eric Young hopes Joseph Park comes back instead of Abyss.

Bobby Roode vs. MVP

Austin Aries is guest referee and wearing shorts ala Shawn Michaels on the first weekly Smackdown. Feeling out process to start with MVP taking it to the mat with a headlock. Roode fights up and they get in a jawing session until MVP runs him over with a shoulder block. A clothesline drops Roode again but it’s only good for a one count. Roode blocks a tornado DDT attempt by slamming MVP down onto the mat. A knee drop sets up a chinlock from Roode, followed by a hard clothesline for two.

MVP avoids a charge in the corner and hammers on Roode before taking him down with a nice high collar suplex. The Ballin Elbow sets up a fisherman’s suplex for two and we get a far too close shot of Aries. The Playmaker is countered and Roode charges into a boot in the corner. MVP charges into a spinebuster for two but fights out of the Roode Bomb.

The Playmaker connects for a VERY close two and MVP takes a second to question Aries. Roode comes back to trade forearms but MVP gets the better of it, only to get caught by an enziguri. MVP kicks out the knee and loads up the Drive By but Aries lays him out with a discus elbow, setting up the Roode Bomb for the pin at 9:40.

Rating: C. Basic match here as we were just waiting for the Aries decision to end the match. MVP is fine in this roll and there’s nothing wrong with him wrestling a match here and there. The match was nothing special and Aries being added to the team helps, but the Bro Mans are going to sink any hope Team Dixie has save for a screwjob.

Overall Rating: C+. Perfectly fine show here with a development to end the show and some decent matches in between. They’re filling in the card for Lockdown, even though there’s only ten days before the show. Either way, things are picking up a bit and it’s amazing how much easier this show is to sit through without Dixie hogging all the screen time.

Results

Bro Mans b. Bad Influence and The Wolves – Robbie pinned Kazarian after a double stomp from Richards

Ethan Carter III b. Doug Williams – One Percenter

Samoa Joe b. Bad Bones – Koquina Clutch

Lei’D Tapa/Alpha Female b. Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne – Over the shoulder Stunner to Rayne

Bobby Roode b. MVP – Roode Bomb

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There isn’t a great selection today but since he debuted a new gimmick on Impact, here’s Jeff Hardy.

While he’s better known as a tag wrestler, Jeff had a few quick appearances as a jobber back in the mid 90s. From June 6, 1994 on Raw, when Hardy was just 16 years old.

Razor Ramon vs. Keith Davis

Razor hits a HARD chop to the chest and throws Davis around before catching him in the fallaway slam. Off to an abdominal stretch as Vince and Savage talk about the second class of the WWF Hall of Fame. Savage says welcome to the big leagues as Razor toys with Davis. The announcers ignore the match to preview the King of the Ring and it’s a belly to back superplex and the Razor’s Edge for the pin.

Rating: D. Total and complete squash as Jeff looked to be even younger than his sixteen years. He literally had no offense and there was nothing to the match but it’s always interesting to see something like this. Who would have thought these two would fight on PPV ten years later?

That was really just a quick appearance before Jeff would move to the independents, including his own promotion known as OMEGA. He and his brother Matt would form a tag team known as the Hardy Boys who would eventually catch the WWF’s eye and be brought in full time in 1998. Their first year didn’t do much but they would beat the Acolytes in a fluke for their first World Tag Team Titles. The reign wouldn’t last long but they would soon

Edge/Christian vs. Hardy Boys

They’re the New Brood here but you get the idea. The winner gets $100,000 and Terri. This is the night where these four broke through to the other side and changed the company for more or less ever. Keep in mind, none of the spots you’re about to see have ever been seen in the company before so this is all new stuff. What you have here is four guys being told to go out there and just do it. I’ve long since thought this WWF’s answer to the cruiserweights.

This is the Terri Invitational Tournament. Spell it out for yourselves. We start on the floor and this should be awesome. It’s a fight to get to the ladders. I’ve never gotten why you need to get to the ladder first. It’s not like that means you win or anything. I remember in War Games 2000 in WCW you had to get the belt down and leave with it. Kevin Nash just stood at the door. He didn’t have to do anything but leave with the belt, so why risk getting hurt to go up there and get it?

Let someone else do the work. First ladder is brought in and down goes Edge. The reactions to this are great. The fans are gasping at every spot which is what you want: to get the crowd excited. We’ve been in this match maybe four minutes and it’s already way ahead of the rest of the show. Oh Gangrel was thrown out. Swanton to Edge onto a ladder. Looking back this isn’t that great by comparison but it’s still very fun.

You have to keep in mind that there is nothing to compare it to at the moment. This is the first multi-man ladder match so this is just mind blowing. Also it’s the first time that there isn’t a big man like Ramon in there. These guys are designed for matches like this and it’s working really well. Edge is almost there and Matt just chucks a ladder at him. That was cool.

Matt’s crotch gets crushed. You know, it occurs to me that in storyline, Matt and Edge dated Lita, in the Christian/Jericho and Lita/Trish angle it was Christian and Lita and Jeff and Lita had a small thing once Matt was gone. Dang that girl gets around. Everyone is down now as Christian takes a Twist of Fate. Second ladder is set up. Jeff takes a Downward Spiral from the ladder.

The great thing about a ladder is that while most of the spots are from about the level of the second rope, having a ladder involved makes it seem cooler. The see-saw spot debuts and Christian and Matt get slammed in the face with it. These things never get old. The look on Edge’s face with him laying on his back with his eyes open is great. All four go up at once and all four come down with all four landing on the ropes.

Crowd is going nuts mind you. The roof camera view is pretty awesome actually. Edge climbs one ladder, Christian and Jeff climb another. Matt slams the ladder with two guys into the other ladder so Edge falls. Jeff jumps from one ladder to the other and knocks Edge off to grab the money. SWEET ENDING.

Rating: A. Just yes. This is the reason to see this PPV. This match just changed the WWF forever as they set the standard for awesome matches with ladders. The fans ate this up like no other and it still definitely holds up today. Just a great match. start the feud that would establish them as one of the best teams in the world. They would enter a series of matches with Edge and Christian known as the Terri Invitational Tournament, culminating in the first ever tag team ladder match at No Mercy 1999.

Later in 1999 a new team debuted who were obsessed with tables. The Hardy Boys would face this new team known as the Dudley Boys in a tag team tables match at Royal Rumble 2000.

Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

I believe match #1 or #2 in a series of roughly 8000 and it’s an elimination tables match. Bubba praises John Rocker of the Braves who had recently gone on a massive anti-New York rant in Sports Illustrated. The Hardys hit the ring and the match starts fast with Bubba hitting the Bubba Bomb on Jeff. No tags here thank goodness. Bubba sets up a table in the ring but before he can get another one, Jeff takes him out with a HUGE flip dive.

Jeff gets sent into the steps as Matt escapes a powerbomb through the table. D-Von suplexes Matt as Jeff CRACKS Bubba in the head with a chair. In a SICK spot, Jeff tries to run the railing but Bubba throws the table at Jeff, knocking him out of the air. That sounded GREAT. The pairings trade off and Bubba loads up the backsplash through the table, only for Jeff to come back and try a double superplex. D-Von moves the table but doesn’t stop the suplex.

Matt brings in a ladder because this might as well be a TLC style match. We head to the floor where the ladder is set up in front of a table with Bubba on it. Matt dives through Bubba through the table just as Jeff dives in from off camera with a splash, sending Bubba through the table in another awesome looking spot. So it’s 2-1 now with Jeff leaning a table up against the barricade. The steps are set up on their end and a table is set up like a bridge between the steps and the apron.

D-Von is placed on the bridged table but moves before Matt dives through him. He moves AGAIN to avoid a diving Jeff, sending him through the leaning table. Cool sequence there by Ninja D-Von. Apparently Bubba doesn’t have to leave. Ok that makes things more interesting. The Dudleys set up two steps in the ring and put a table across them before hitting a HUGE powerbomb on Matt to eliminate (in a sense) him. The tables are LOUD tonight too. Jeff gets beaten into the aisle but Matt quickly follows, only to get WHACKED in the head with a chair.

The Dudleys stack up four tables in front of the entrance (it’s the MSG setup where the entrance is opposite the cameras). Matt gets put on the tables and Jeff is CRACKED in the head again to break up the save attempt. Bubba climbs onto the taxi over the aisle to splash Matt, but remember that wouldn’t win the match. Jeff climbs up after him (I’m not sure where D-Von went) and blasts him with a chair, knocking him through two of the tables (still doesn’t win). Matt puts D-Von on the table and Jeff dives off the taxi with the Swanton through D-Von through the table for the win.

Rating: B+. This was AWESOME with all four guys being young and hungry here. The Dudleys were out to prove themselves and the Hardys were out to show they could hang in a fight. They had already proven they could fight in a violent match like the ladder match, but this was a brawl instead of a high flying match. REALLY fun stuff here though and well worth a look if you haven’t seen it. The Dudleys would get the titles next month, setting up the first triangle ladder match at Mania.

The three teams would eventually combine into one of the most famous matches of all time at Wrestlemania X7: Tables Ladders and Chairs II.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

The Dudleys are the champions coming in. There’s no story to it, but was there ever to one of these things? Edge and Christian get double teamed to start and the Dudleyz hit a double flapjack on Christian. Both sets of Boys fight in the corner with Jeff hitting Poetry in Motion on both at once. Cue Edge and Christian again with the ladder before Edge brings in a chair. The Canadians put Matt in the Tree of Woe and stand on his crotch. No wonder Lita left him for Edge.

Edge stats to climb but Matt makes the stop and goes up himself. That goes badly for him of course as Edge uses the chair as a stepping stone to take Matt down with a clothesline. Jeff dropkicks Edge off the ladder before joining with his brother to dropkick a ladder into the Dudleys’ faces. There are two ladders in the ring now in opposite corners. Christian is slammed down and hit with a stereo splash/legdrop from the Hardys. The Dudleys are back in now and there’s What’s Up.

It’s Table Time with Edge being placed on the first one, but Jeff tries a hurricanrana to Bubba, only to be powerbombed through Edge through the table. This is nonstop action so far. The Dudleys set up four tables at ringside as Paul tells us of Big Daddy Dudley’s construction company in Dudleyville. Currently there’s a table in the corner and three ladders in the ring. Bubba picks up a ladder and CRACKS Matt in the head with it before setting it up next to the other two. All three are set up in a row in the middle of the ring so here’s a six way climb.

Matt and Christian go flying first with Matt landing on the ropes and Christian falling all the way to the floor. Jeff and D-Von fall into the opposite ropes and Edge and Bubba fall backwards, to put all six guys down. Edge is the only one halfway standing and Christian sets up a table on the floor. Bubba dumps a ladder to the floor to clear the ring out a bit as Spike Dudley, Bubba and D-Von’s cousin, runs in. He hits Edge low and puts Christian through a table with the Dudley Dog off the apron.

Edge and Christian’s friend Rhyno runs in and destroys everyone in sight before sending Edge up the ladder to get the belts. Cue Lita to jerk Edge off. The ladder. Anyway with the thong sticking WAY out, Rhyno picks her up but gets hit low by Spike. Lita goes up for a rana on Rhyno and Spike cracks him in the head with a chair, sending Rhyno into the ladder, knocking Edge into the ropes. A Doomsday Device puts Rhyno down again but Lita CRACKS Spike in the head with a chair. She then takes off her top, giving us the biggest pop of the night. Not that it matters as she walks into a 3D and is now done for the match.

The Canadians come back in with chairs to take the champions out before Christian brings out the huge ladder. It’s on the floor but it’s still taller than the ones in the ring. Jeff, ever the crazy man, goes ALL THE WAY to the top and hits a Swanton onto Spike and Rhyno (read as Rhyno barely gets hit and Spike takes every bit of it). The super ladder is set up in the ring now and it’s a race between D-Von and Christian. Matt moves the ladder away, leaving both guys hanging from the cord holding the belts.

Both guys fall down, but Jeff gets up on a regular ladder and tries to walk on the other small ladders like a tightrope. Jeff loses his balance though and has to hang from the cord as well. Bubba grabs the ladder and walks away with it while Jeff’s feet are still in it, pulling Jeff’s body back. The feet pull away and Jeff swings forward, right into a spear from Edge off the super ladder, drawing a BIG gasp from the crowd. That’s the spot that made everyone realize Edge was going to be something VERY special.

Matt and Bubba go up on the super ladder, but Rhyno shoves it over, sending them crashing through the four tables at ringside. D-Von goes up now but Edge grabs his feet, allowing Rhyno to give Christian enough of a boost to beat D-Von to the top and get the titles, finally ending this carnage.

Rating: A+. If you’re looking for pure insanity and non-stop violence, this is the pinnacle of the genre. These nine people went for over fifteen minutes and never once stopped beating on each other. The spots are insane and the big spots still have you in awe. This match holds up incredibly well and is just as impressive as it was twelve years ago. Absolute masterpiece that blows away every MITB match that I can remember.

The rest of 2001 wasn’t much for the Hardys as the Invasion sucked up the entire company. The team spent most of the year feuding with the Dudleys to less fanfare every time. Jeff would spend the first half of 2002 treading water before saying he was tired of just talking about living life. His great idea: challenging the Undertaker to a ladder match for the Undisputed Title on July 1, 2002.

Undisputed WWE Championship: Jeff Hardy vs. Undertaker

So the idea here is that Jeff has been destroyed by Taker every time they’ve fought but Taker has never been in a ladder match so Jeff should have a chance. Taker goes for the ladder but gets it kicked into his face. Jeff gets a chair shot in but Taker catches the ladder shot from Jeff. They haven’t been in the ring together yet. Taker hammers on Jeff for awhile but gets sent into a ladder to slow things down.

Jeff launches himself at the ladder with Taker under it, probably hurting himself even worse. They get into the ring and Jeff is down again. Taker gets a big shot with the ladder to knock Jeff into the table. He has the match won but instead Taker climbs down and pounds on Jeff even more. This is SO slow. Jeff tries to fire in some shots and goes off on Taker but a single punch slows him down.

Taker hits a running clothesline in the corner. This is the least interesting ladder match I’ve ever seen. Taker misses a charge in the corner and slams into the ladder….but is back on offense about 4 seconds later. Whisper in the Wind takes Taker down but the champ is back up and hitting a big boot before Jeff gets in another shot. A low blow puts Taker down as does a flip dive to the floor.

Jeff gets the big ladder but Taker stops him with a Last Ride attempt. The WORST RANA EVER sends Taker to the floor as a counter and Jeff climbs. He touches the gold but Taker makes the save. Taker goes for the Last Ride again but Jeff cracks him with a chair twice and climbs very slowly. And never mind as Undertaker cracks him with the chair and “chokeslams” (more like choke-shoves) him off to retain.

Rating: D. I remember this a lot more fondly than it was here. The ending is good and is some decent drama, but the rest of it is just SO slow and uninteresting. Jeff never had a chance but Taker did nothing but punch the rest of the time and that doesn’t make for an interesting match at all. Very weak match but a good ending.

Jeff gets back up so Taker goes back in and hits a Last Ride. Taker rides off but Jeff gets the mic and says he’s still standing. Taker comes back to hit him but stops and raises Jeff’s hand, supposedly turning face in the process. I don’t remember that coming for a few more weeks but allegedly it was here.

 

Jeff would leave WWE in spring of 2003 citing burnout and spend time on the independent scene before debuting in TNA in June 2004. He would main event their first pay per view against Jeff Jarrett and would be in the co-main event of their second pay per view, Turning Point 2004, in a six man tag with AJ Styles and Randy Savage against Scott Hall, Jeff Jarrett and Kevin Nash.

Jeff Hardy/AJ Styles/Randy Savage vs. Kings of Wrestling

Savage was kidnapped remember. The Kings come out to Elvis impersonator music and Elvis suits. AJ looks like he’s about 19 here. Jarrett is world champion. Hall looks almost human. AJ and Jarrett start us off. Bah I can’t say Jeff in this. AJ and the champ see who can get the bigger reactions from the crowd then do some technical stuff. A headscissors takes Jarrett down and a dropkick takes him down again.

Off to Hall. He and Nash are wrestling in those Elvis suits. Give me a break. Hall works on the arm so AJ takes the knees out to control. He wants Nash so Hall spits at him and makes the tag. AJ uses the speed again and dropkicks all three Kings down. Hardy is tagged in and dropkicks Hall and Jarrett down as things speed up. Slingshot dropkick by Hardy has Nash in trouble.

Nash gets in a big boot and Hardy is in trouble. Here’s the champ who beat Hardy last month at Victory Road. I always thought that was two or three months before this show. Jarrett hot shots him on the top rope and it’s time to strut. Back to Hall for a discus punch and chokeslam for two. Nash comes in for a sideslam which gets two also. Back to Hall who hooks the abdominal stretch. Nothing but trademark stuff from the Outsiders.

Hall hooks a modified STF but pulls on the hair instead of the neck. That has to hurt. Hardy gets his mule kick (catching Hall squarely in the hand) which is enough for the tag to AJ. Things speed up again and AJ cleans house. Moonsault into the reverse DDT gets two. Styles Clash to Jarrett is avoided and Nash breaks up the springboard forearm. Fallaway slam for two as we’re just waiting on Savage to make the big miracle appearance.

Nash hits the framed elbow (complete with Karate Elvis Action!) for two. Back to Jarrett and they work over the ribs which the Outsiders started on. Naturally this leads to the Figure Four LEG Lock but AJ rolls him up for two. Hall breaks up the tag and Nash hooks a bearhug. See, THAT makes sense. AJ makes the unseen tag and it’s back to Jarrett. They slug it out and both hit cross bodies to put them down.

AJ finally makes the tag to Hardy and house is cleaned. Stroke is countered into a Twist of Stunner and AJ adds a springboard cross body to Hall. Nash takes out the referee though as the numbers are catching up with them. Hardy goes up for the Swanton but Hall hits him with the guitar. Hardy falls forward onto Jarrett for the Swanton anyway but there’s no referee. Here’s Savage with a big old bald spot as is his custom. Naturally with everyone down he wants a tag and fires off right hands. All three of the Kings get caught in sleepers for some reason. Jarrett tries a sunset flip but Savage falls on him for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but the ending was HORRIBLE (again). Savage might have been out there 90 seconds. He would be gone the next day because he proposed a one month title reign for himself and said he’d drop it back to Jarrett the next month but it was vetoed. That’s his last match, which is a sad note to go out on.

 

Hardy wouldn’t do much in 2005 due to being suspended for the summer due to missing a scheduled appearance. He would be suspended again in December and not appear on TNA TV again. In August he would return to WWE and receive an Intercontinental Title shot on October 2, 2006 on Raw.

I

Intercontinental Title: Johnny Nitro vs. Jeff Hardy

Nitro is defending. JR gives us a factoid about Melina: she likes three way sex. Well you can’t say he beats around the…..never mind. Nitro controls to start but Jeff comes back with a quick Twist attempt. Melina tries to distract Jeff but only gets him to dive on Johnny as we take a break. Back with Nitro holding a reverse chinlock. During the break the slingshot dropkick from Hardy missed to give the champion control.

Jeff fights up but misses the Whisper in the Wind. Nitro stomps away in the corner and Jeff hits the post. Dang Melina can scream. Off to a surfboard submission and Jeff is in trouble. Jeff comes back with a mule kick and then a second one as Nitro is in some trouble very quickly. Whisper in the Wind gets two and Nitro heads to the floor. A baseball slide sets up the railing run and Melina gets taken out too. They both go up, resulting in Jeff backdropping him off the top and hitting the Swanton for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent match here as both guys were still young and fast. It was clear that Jeff was going to be the bigger deal than his brother and that Nitro was going to be a decent sized star himself and this was a good example of that. Nothing great here but a title change is always cool to see.

2007 wasn’t much of a year for Jeff as a singles guy as he would hang around the midcard before reforming the Hardy Boys for a reunion tour and another Tag Team Title reign. Later in the year, Hardy would be the one of the last man remaining on a Survivor Series team along with HHH, leading to a match with HHH at Armageddon. Hardy would shock the world by pinning HHH, setting up a World Title match at Royal Rumble 2008. The show did one of the highest buyrates in the history of the event and almost all of the credit was given to Hardy.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff is Intercontinental Champion. Feeling out process to start with Jeff taking over via a headlock on the mat. An atomic drop gets two but Orton hits him in the face and brags to the crowd about it. Orton gets sent to the floor and a baseball slide sends him into the barricade. Hardy follows with a plancha to the floor as JR SCREAMS to get Orton back in the ring. Randy tries to walk out with the belt but Hardy will have none of that. Orton is rammed into the announce table and back inside we go.

As Hardy tries a springboard, Orton dropkicks him right back to the floor in a big crash. There’s the Orton Stomp and some choking as Orton shows off his wide range of offense. This is before Orton was orange so the visuals aren’t all that bad. A pair of knee drops get two on Hardy as Orton asks the fans if they believe in Jeff still. Hardy sends Orton over the top to the floor, followed by a bad clothesline off the apron (it hit Orton’s arm and completely missed his neck and chest).

Back in again and Jeff misses a charge into the post, giving Orton both a two count and control again. Randy hooks a chinlock with a bodyscissors followed by a powerslam for two. Back to the chinlock (yep it’s an Orton match) to fill in some time. Jeff fights up again and takes Randy down with a clothesline but can’t follow up. Jeff starts striking with everything he’s got and hits the Whisper in the Wind to fire up the crowd even more.

That’s one thing I haven’t talked about enough here: the fans are WAY behind Hardy here. It isn’t the usual New York reaction to a face. They want Jeff to win the title NOW. Hardy hits the slingshot dropkick in the corner but before he can hit the Swanton, Randy bails to the floor. Jeff is cool with that and hits (kind of at least) a moonsault to the floor. Back in and Jeff loads up the Twist but Orton counters into the RKO out of nowhere to retain.

Rating: C+. That’s a really bad finish for a few reasons. First of all, it’s WAY too sudden. If they were shooting at punching the audience in the stomach I guess they accomplished that, but it doesn’t do much else. Hardy winning was an option, but at the end of the day they made the right move here….I think. I was disappointed Hardy won, but thankfully WWE stretched it out for a LONG time before he got the title, which was the right move at the end of the day.

The chase would continue all year with Hardy getting closer and closer every single time, leading up to a triple threat match against new champion Edge and HHH at Armageddon 2008.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. HHH vs. Jeff Hardy

Solid heat on Edge and a solid gut also. Jeff goes straight for Edge as JR can’t remember if Jeff got attacked in Baltimore or Boston. Basic opening so far with Jeff driving the action. He sends Edge and HHH to the floor and dives on the Canadian. Trips takes his head off though so it’s Edge vs. HHH in the ring now. How was that never the main event of a bigger show than Great American Bash?

Jumping knee to the face puts Edge down as does a neckbreaker. Edge’s bad luck continues as he gets caught in a facebuster. Jeff back in now and he gets a facebuster for Christmas also. HHH tries the Pedigree to Edge but Jeff takes them both out with a Whisper in the Wind. The Game is down and Jeff gets crotched on the top. HHH comes in to get Edge and it’s a Doomsday Device with Jeff hitting a Whisper in the Wind instead of a clothesline. Edge’s bump is SCARY here as he lands on the back of his head.

Pedigree to Jeff is countered again and he goes into the buckle. Slingshot dropkick hits HHH but the Edge-O-Matic takes Jeff down for two. HHH’s bad luck continues in the form of a spear. Twist of Fate and Swanton hit HHH but Edge makes a last second save. Everybody goes to the floor and HHH is mostly dead.

Edge gets whipped around a lot and Jeff loads up the announce table. HHH pops up again and sends Edge onto the table but not through it. Jeff escapes a Pedigree and gets killed with a spear through the third table. Edge vs. HHH in the ring with the Canadian hitting an Edgecution for no cover. Spear is countered into the spinebuster and there’s the Pedigree.

Kozlov of all people pops up and breaks up the pin before beating on HHH. Matt Hardy comes out to get rid of Kozlov. Jeff goes up but Kozlov shoves him away before the Swanton can hit. Matt and Vlad go up the aisle and only Edge is in the ring. HHH comes back in but walks into a spear for two. A frustrated Edge goes to the floor and sets for a Conchairto.

Jeff grabs a chair and BLASTS Edge with it. He wants the Swanton but HHH crotches him. That was a sick, sick chair shot and it was only with one hand. HHH grabs the Pedigree in the corner but Jeff dives off the top with the Swanton to HHH and covers Edge for the pin and his first world title. The roof blows off the place and with good reason. The LD exploded and I did too, since I slept through the original broadcast of this and the first thing I saw was Jeff diving onto HHH.

Rating: B. Solid match all around here but the point here was for the ending. That Swanton and the reaction from the crowd was excellent. The whole thing worked perfectly and the match was good. Not sure why they had Kozlov and Matt in there but it wasn’t a big issue. The right man won here and that’s all that matters.

The last five minutes of this are spent on a huge celebration by Jeff. Totally awesome moment for one simple reason: this has been a year in the making and Jeff felt like he finally earned it. This could have been in the main event of Wrestlemania but the shock of it was a great bonus perk. I’m not a Hardy fan but this is still awesome on every possible level.

 

The title reign would end in his first defense when Matt Hardy would turn on his brother, revealing that he had been the source of several accidents that had befallen Jeff recently. Matt would win the first match at Wrestlemania but the two would meet again at Backlash 2009.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

I Quit rules remember. Jeff goes off on him in the corner and hits a seated dropkick to send Matt to the floor. Jeff hits a dive and the referee asks if they want to quit. Yeah they’ll quit a minute into the match, sure. With a running start, Jeff hits Poetry in Motion off the steps. Back in and Jeff hits the slingshot dropkick in the corner. A middle rope legdrop hits Matt and it’s off to a chinlock. The lack of covers is always a bit hard to get used to in these matches.

Matt rams him into the buckle to break the hold but can’t do much to follow up. Jeff goes up but gets shoved to the floor in a great crash. Matt wraps Jeff’s leg around the post and we get the first ask with the mic. Jeff says no both times so Matt bends the knee around the post. Matt puts on a figure four and Jeff still won’t quit. Jerry thinks Matt is going after the knee. You can’t buy this kind of analysis people!

Jeff escapes but gets put right back in it again. That doesn’t work so Matt hooks a seated half crab but Jeff still won’t quit. Matt puts him in the Tree of Woe and bends Jeff’s head back but Jeff won’t quit. Instead of holding him there longer, Matt rants and probably posts a YouTube video about it. He puts Jeff on top but his belly to back superplex is countered into a crossbody.

Jeff hooks a standing Texas Cloverleaf and Matt taps but won’t say he quits. They botch a Twist of Fate so the second attempt works a bit better. Matt still won’t quit so Jeff gets a table. Matt rolls to the floor but Jeff follows with the Twist to take him down again. Back in the ring now and Jeff puts him on the table.

Before he does anything though, Jeff grabs some tape from under the ring and ties Matt’s hands and feet together. Now he gets a rope and ties Matt to the table. Matt still won’t quit so Jeff gets a ladder. Jeff climbs said ladder but Matt begs for mercy. He says Mom and Dad wouldn’t like it and that he loves Jeff. Matt quits to prevent Jeff from jumping.

Rating: C. This was a fun match but the ending hurt it badly. With all the stuff that Matt has been through over the years, he quits to avoid a legdrop through the table? The match was just ok up to that point but at the end of the day like I said earlier, I don’t think people were really that interested in seeing these guys fight. This ended the feud, which is probably best for everyone involved.

Hardy would feud with CM Punk over the World Heavyweight Championship later in the year before leaving the company just after Summerslam. A few months later he would debut in TNA on the same night as Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff. Over the summer a complicated and confusing storyline developed about a group called THEY that were coming to TNA. At the same time, a tournament was being held for the vacant TNA World Title, leading up to the finals at Bound For Glory with Hardy in one of the three slots.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy has new music. Nothing all that special as again you can barely understand it. He’s called challenger #1. Who exactly is he challenging if no one has the title? Anderson is in gray tights which is odd. It’s 10:33 and we’re just starting. Think they’re cutting this close? No big match intros either which is weird also.

Angle is knocked to the floor and Anderson gets a neckbreaker on Hardy for two. Angle pops in and goes for Anderson’s knee. Big old belly to belly as it’s all Angle here. Then Hardy saves and it’s all Hardy. Little theme going on there. Angle Germans Hardy who Germans Anderson to take both of them over in a cool spot.

It gets two on Hardy as we keep going. 10:37 and no sign of THEY which scares the heck out of me. Hardy sends Angle up and over and might be hurt. I don’t buy it but whatever. Hardy goes over the top in a dive to take out everyone. Back in and Angle is ok, hooking a chinlock on Hardy after a cover gets two.

Running German to Hardy and he’s up seconds later. Ok then. Hey we went a full two hours and 40 minutes before we got a shot of Dixie. Angle is busted open a bit. Angle busts out some Germans on Anderson as Hardy is down. Hardy gets some of the same. Ankle Lock on the face painted one.

Anderson tries to save and winds up in the ankle lock. Angle locks the ankle lock on BOTH of them at once. That looks awesome. Naturally it doesn’t work but it looked cool while it was on. Anderson gets that rolling fireman’s carry slam from the middle rope on Angle so that Hardy can cover both for two.

10:45 now as this has somehow been going 12 minutes. Angle Slam gets two on Hardy. Top rope Angle Slam on Anderson but Hardy gets the cover for two. The fans think this is awesome and it’s not bad. Twist of Fate to Anderson and the Swanton hits. Angle saves into the ankle lock and Hardy is in trouble.

Jeff kicks off and sends Angle into a Mic Check for a VERY close two. Pinfall reversal sequence gets a lot of two counts. Angle is the only one left and hits the moonsault on Hardy for two again as Anderson is still down. Angle and Anderson go at it and block each others’ finishers.

And there goes the referee. Oh dang it. Everyone is down and here comes Eric with a chair. And here it comes. This is what TNA has spent the last 4 months building to. And what a shock: HULK IS HERE! Or at least his music is here. Yep there he is but on crutches. He needs help getting into the ring which I don’t buy.

Hulk looks ticked at Eric who throws the chair out and wipes his hands. Hardy stumbles to his feet on the floor and gets in. Both Bischoff and Hogan have crutches and Hogan gives Jeff his. Angle is up. Hardy pops Angle with the crutch and Hogan points at Jeff. Yes, it appears that Jeff Hardy, the most popular star in the world, is part of They. Twist of Fate to Anderson, and Hardy is world champion.

Rating: B. Ending aside obviously, this was a solid main event. It felt like a big match, but then again I would prefer a singles match for the title. That’s the traditionalist in me talking but if there is a match to end the biggest show of the year, only on very special occasions (this isn’t one of them) should it not be one on one for the world title.

For the first time in his singles career, Hardy was a full fledged heel, but unfortunately he would be third in command of the new Immortal faction at best. Hardy would hold the title for a few months before dropping Sting on television. Soon after that the two would have a rematch in one of the most infamous moments in wrestling history. Hardy would show up barely able to walk and would be defeated in a one move match. That would be it for Jeff for several months as he left to clean up his life before returning late in the year. After a few months he would enter a feud with Kurt Angle due to Kurt’s child being a Hardy fan. From Lockdown 2012.

Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

Angle said that he and Hardy could match HHH vs. Undertaker here and he’s had a great track record at this show so hopefully he continues that here. Hardy’s paint is black and white here. There’s this, the world title and the Knockout Tag Titles left so the show still has a small chance. Angle’s thigh is taped due to a legit injury. Kurt pounds him in the corner to start but Jeff comes back with the legdrop between the legs.

They’re going very slowly here but it might be a slow build. Jeff whips him into the corner and hits the slingshot dropkick but he’s holding his neck. Jeff seems to be ok though and he pounds Angle down in the corner. Kurt slams him into the cage which had a great sound. Snap suplex gets two. Back into the cage as it’s pretty clear Kurt is nowhere near 100%. It looks like Jeff is busted a bit but you can’t see that well.

Kurt rams him into the cage again and walks around a lot. Oh yeah Jeff is busted. Jeff comes back with a clothesline and both guys are down. Things speed up again and Jeff comes back with some forearms. Whisper in the Wind gets two. Twisting Stunner puts Kurt down and he loads up the Swanton, but Angle runs the corner and hits a GREAT Angle Slam out of the corner for a close two. Kurt goes for the door but Jeff dives for the leg. Angle pounds on his head and goes for the climb over but Jeff pulls him back. Now Jeff goes up and knocks Kurt back, hitting a standing top rope Vader Bomb for two.

Both guys are down again and it’s Hardy up first. He goes for the door but Kurt grabs the ankle and puts on the ankle lock. Jeff counters into the ankle lock on Angle (on the good leg) but Kurt rolls out. Twist of Fate puts Angle down and Jeff goes for the corner. Swanton connects but he goes up again and hits a second one which gets two. Kurt pulls him head first into the cage and the Angle Slam gets two. Hardy counters the Slam into one of his own before going all the way to the top of the cage for a super Swanton for the pin at 14:48.

Rating: B+. While it’s not as good as Kurt’s other matches, this was a HUGE step up over what the rest of this show has been. I don’t ever remember my heart being in my throat for a spot more than that Swanton though as I thought he was going to kill himself. Angle’s injury slowed this a lot but it was still a very good match and a major help that this show needed.

Hardy would spend the summer competing in the Bound For Glory Series, eventually winning the competition and earning a title match against Austin Aries at Bound For Glory 2012.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Austin Aries

The fans are pretty much split which isn’t what they were hoping for I don’t think. We start with a long feeling out process and we have roughly half an hour for this. They head to the mat and Hardy actually keeps up with the champ (Aries is defending if I didn’t mention that) until they head to the corner for the slingshot dropkick. Aries comes back and puts Hardy on the apron for a slingshot ax handle. He takes a victory lap and then one in reverse.

Back in and Hardy gets two off a suplex. They’re still in first gear here and that’s fine. Jeff knocks Aries to the floor and mocks Aries. The fans don’t seem pleased with Jeff so he jumps off the apron with an ax handle of his own. Jeff charges at Aries but Hardy crashes into the barricade and hits Aries at the same time. Back in and Aries gets two off a top rope splash. Aries charges into a boot in the corner and the crowd is probably 80% pro Aries.

A backbreaker gets two for the champ and it’s off to an abdominal stretch on the mat. Aries takes him down again and hits a corkscrew plancha for two. Hardy blocks the Last Chancery and hits something Big Show used to call the Alley Oop. He sets for a powerbomb but throws Aries backwards instead of forwards. Show’s was a bit slower but it’s the same move. Hardy makes his comeback and hits the low dropkick for two.

Whisper in the Wind gets two and the fans have quieted down a bit. Twist of Fate is countered and Aries is knocked to the floor. Hardy misses a slingshot and there’s the suicide dive to drive Jeff into the barricade. Another dive takes Hardy out again with this one getting two in the ring. Aries is busted but nowhere near what Storm was earlier. There’s the Last Chancery but Jeff escapes quickly.

They head to the ramp and Jeff can’t hit the Twist, but rather gets clotheslined into the ropes. Aries drops him on his head, sending the back of Jeff’s head into the edge of the ramp. And people wonder why he’s a drug addict. A missile dropkick sends Jeff into the corner but he comes out with the Twist for two. Jeff loads up the Swanton but gets crotched and super ranaed down from a double standing position. That looked awesome. Corner dropkick sets up the Brainbuster for two and Aries is STUNNED. Aries puts Jeff on top but gets knocked off and the Swanton gives Jeff the title at 23:04.

Rating: B+. This was a good main event but after the Aces and 8’s stuff, this came off a bit flat. Also, TNA REALLY needs to mix up their main event styles. The kicking out of finishers and then the pin soon thereafter can only take you so far and they’ve done it for years now. Watch a few TNA PPV main events and the formulas are almost always the same. Hardy winning is the right choice but it doesn’t feel like a huge moment at all for the most part. Still though, a quite good match.

Hardy is one of the few classic stories in wrestling history as he rose from lowly tag wrestler to tag team star to midcard sensation to world champion and one of the biggest stars in the world. He’s been successful everywhere he’s been and has put on some of the most entertaining matches you’ll find. That of course leaves you with the white elephant that is his substance abuse. They’ve held down what could have been a legendary career but he’s more than a success either way.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: January 23, 2014
Location: Von Braun Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re back with Genesis Week Two, featuring all of the matches that we couldn’t get to last week because we needed a thirty minute opening segment. Tonight we have Roode vs. Angle in a cage, Gunner vs. Storm for the briefcase, Sabin vs. Aries for the X Title and Sting vs. Magnus in a contract vs. title match, even though Sting was forbidden from challenging for the title ever again just a year ago. Let’s get to it.

The opening video recaps Sting challenging Magnus from last week and the Roode vs. Angle feud.

Dixie and Spud are in the back with Dixie freaking out about Ethan not being here. Magnus comes in and shakes hands with some lawyer whose name sounded like Creed. Apparently there was a meeting with the board of directors and someone is setting up a hostile takeover of TNA.

The attorney says he can deal with the new investor, even though it seems to be something personal. Magnus says deal with it because he has a title defense. Apparently the investor wants someone in Sting’s corner so Magnus wants No DQ and No Countout. The lawyer and Magnus almost get in a fight until Dixie defuses it. The editing in this made it feel really unnatural.

Here are Magnus, Spud and Ethan to the arena. Nice to see that the “where’s Ethan” problem was settled inside of four minutes. Magnus accuses Sting of playing politics and thought he was a bigger man than that. This brings out Sting himself who accuses Magnus of backing out of deals of his own. Magnus says this is about Sting and wants to know how much he paid the new investor.

Either way, Sting has to face Magnus on his own tonight and Sting just can’t beat Magnus on his own. Sting says he’s watched their BFG match over and over again and is ready. The fans chant Paper Champion at Magnus so he slaps Sting, triggering a brawl. Sting is outnumbered but Samoa Joe makes the save. Naturally Joe is the man in Sting’s corner tonight.

Video on Gunner vs. Storm, leading to their match for the briefcase tonight.

Spud freaks out about Joe so Dixie puts him in a match with the Samoan. Spud panics even more. Dixie after Spud leaves: “Please don’t get killed.”

James Storm vs. Gunner

Of course it’s a briefcase on a pole. The announcers emphasize that you have to get full possession of the case. Feeling out process to start with Storm skinning the cat but walking into a running clothesline to put him back down. James comes back with a kick to the head but gets caught in the corner and taken down by a fallaway slam. A suplex puts Gunner down but he counters the Last Call into a Rock Bottom.

Gunner goes up but gets taken down by a hurricanrana of all things to put both guys down again. Storm goes up and gets his hands on the case but Gunner stops him, bringing the case down. That’s not full possession though so it becomes a fight for the case. A headbutt knocks Storm away and Gunner gets the case at 5:40.

Rating: D+. This was every pole match you’ve ever seen though there were some decent spots in there to fill in some time. The ending didn’t add anything special and Gunner still having the case doesn’t change the situation. I don’t buy Gunner as a title contender but beating James Storm won’t hurt him. Can we get Storm a story that doesn’t involve a tag team though?

Kurt Angle says if he can’t beat Roode tonight, he doesn’t deserve the Hall of Fame.

Earlier today, Velvet Sky got a package from Chris Sabin and we get to see her open it. The note says she needs to bring them to Impact this week. There’s a teddy bear and a lead pipe, meaning Velvet isn’t pleased.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Austin Aries

Sabin is defending and Velvet is in a small cage at ringside, complete with a bag containing the gifts. Feeling out process to start until Aries grabs a quick Last Chancery. Sabin is thrown to the floor but jumps back onto the apron to crotch Aries in the corner. Aries gets caught in the Tree of Woe for a baseball slide but avoids being thrown to the floor.

He comes back with elbows to the head and a Lionsault for two. A discus forearm sets up the running dropkick in the corner but Sabin counters the brainbuster. Sabin heads to the floor and gets the bag from Velvet but it just has the bear. Aries gets in an ax handle from the apron followed by a missile dropkick. The brainbuster gives Aries the title at 5:10.

Rating: C-. I’m having a really hard time caring about these matches when I don’t think all three have combined to go twenty minutes. These are all just meaningless title changes and the belt hasn’t grown at all as a result. I believe this puts Aries at four title reigns and it doesn’t make him a bigger star at all.

We get a strange promo from the Wolves with the camera going all over the place. Richards says you’ve seen their matches on Youtube so why would you make the wolves dance for their meal? They’re the start of the new era and next week the investor will be revealed to the world. Cool video.

We recap Angle vs. Roode. Bobby has beaten him over and over but tonight it’s in a cage and if Angle loses, he can never go into the Hall of Fame.

Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Roode

Roode has a new sleeveless full body vest. It’s pin/submission/escape here. There’s no bell after the break so we’ll say this is joined in progress. Roode goes after Kurt to start but walks into a belly to belly suplex to give Angle control. He stomps Bobby down in the corner but his right hands are countered with a powerbomb into the cage. A suplex gets two for Roode and more choking ensues.

Angle grabs the legs and catapults Roode into the cage, setting up the Rolling Germans. The Angle Slam is countered and Angle is sent into the cage. A spinebuster gets a fast two for Roode but a Roode Bomb attempt is countered by Angle ramming Bobby into the cage. Now the Slam connects for two and there go the straps. Ankle lock goes on but Roode fights to his feet and takes Angle down with an enziguri.

We go old school with Roode’s Northern Lariat (clothesline to the back of the head) for two. Roode goe sup but Angle makes a save and rams Roode into the cage over and over again until he falls down. Kurt is still on the ropes and goes to escape before looking back at Roode. Oh no. Angle busts out the moonsault but only hits mat in a HUGE crash. Roode crawls out the door but Angle grabs the ankle to pull him back in. Kurt is kicked away so they do the same thing again but this time Kurt puts on the ankle lock, only to have Roode whip him into the cage.

The Roode Bomb gets two and Bobby climbs the cage, so Angle runs the corner and hits the Angle Slam to put both guys down again. Kurt crawls over for a slow two before making a very slow climb to the corner. He gets a leg over but Roode pulls him back in onto the top rope. They slug it out until Roode is crotched on the top, allowing Angle to climb out for the win at 14:17, seconds before Roode makes it out the door.

Rating: B. Angle is going to die in a wrestling ring at some point and there’s no way around it. This was a good but not classic cage match and there’s nothing wrong with that. Above all else, this match was given time to develop and it worked much better as a result. I’d buy this as the ending of the feud but there’s a chance they could get one more match out of them.

Ethan gives Spud a pep talk and names him the British Dream.

Here are the Bro Mans who say they’re on Team Dixie. Jesse says you only Bro once and asks the fans to tweet something right now to remember this moment. They say the word hashtag about 17 times and call out Eric Young and Joseph Park but just get the smaller one. He charges the ring and tries to fight everyone off but gets beaten down until Abyss makes the save. The monster cleans house and the champions and Zema run, leaving Eric to be grabbed by the throat but he talks Abyss out of it.

Joe is ready and wants a piece of Magnus afte Sting gets done with him.

Angle is worried about what happens if TNA loses Sting.

Rockstar Spud vs. Samoa Joe

This is exactly what you would expect with Joe not being afraid of Spud at all and hitting an early Facewash. Spud goes get in an eye rake and some kicks to the leg, only to charge into the release Rock Bottom out of the corner. The MuscleBuster and the Koquina Clutch are good for the win for Joe at 2:20.

TNA World Title: Magnus vs. Sting

No DQ and No Countout with Sting’s contract (not career) on the line against Magnus’ title. Joe is at ringside in Sting’s corner. Magnus cranks on a headlock to start as the fans chant Paper Champion. Off to a wristlock by the Brit but Sting flips him down onto the mat and Magnus bails to the ropes. A double clothesline puts both guys down and here’s Ethan to interfere but Joe blocks him on the ramp as we take a break.

Back with Sting putting on the Scorpion but Bad Influence comes out to neutralize Joe, allowing Ethan to make the save. Everyone is in the ring now so we’re already at four interferences. Joe and Sting fight them off and Magnus takes the Death Drop but it’s Zema and the Bro Mans for the save, getting us to seven interferences.

Bad Influence gets back into things but Angle makes a save (8), allowing Sting to superplex Magnus. A replacement referee comes out (9) and counts two but the Stinger Splash takes him out as well. There’s the Scorpion but Bobby Roode (10) breaks up the hold to save a tapping Magnus. The champ gets up for a Michinoku Driver and it’s Dixie bringing Earl Hebner (11 and 12) for the three count for the pin at 13:25. That one move put Sting out for about 45 seconds.

Rating: T. For twelve people that came out during the match. It’s hard to get that many people into a show sometimes and they did it in a fourteen minute match. These things are making it hard to care about any main event TNA promotes because they’re bigger messes than the Attitude Era ever dreamed of airing. This was more of a match than AJ vs. Magnus though.

Magnus rips up Sting’s contract to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. For Impact, this wasn’t bad but it keeps up one of TNA’s many problems: they always seem to be building to something but we never actually get to that point. It’s very much a company chasing its own tail and it has been for years. For instance, we spent months building to BFG but BFG was just a step towards Dixieland. Now Dixieland has bene just a step towards the investor, which will be a step to something else.

I’m sick of these power struggle stories and they keep TNA feeling like they’re on life support. I’m mildly interested in the reveal next week but my hopes are low enough that a mouse couldn’t get fit underneath them. The cage match was good but the main event was overdone, much like every other title match anymore.

Results

Gunner b. James Storm – Gunner grabbed the briefcase

Austin Aries b. Chris Sabin – Brainbuster

Kurt Angle b. Bobby Roode – Angle escaped the cage

Samoa Joe b. Rockstar Spud – Koquina Clutch

Magnus b. Sting – Michinoku Driver

 

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Tag Team Tournament
Date: January 3, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

We’re back with another of these shindigs though I have less faith in this one than in last month’s World Cup of Wrestling. I really don’t think I can make this any clearer than the title has already done. It’s just a tag team tournament to decide the BEST TEAM EVER in TNA, even though America’s Most Wanted isn’t here, making the whole thing inaccurate from the get go. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the basic idea and lists off the teams in the tournament. Here are the brackets:

Hot Shots/Aces and 8’s

Magnus/Samoa Joe

British Invasion

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

Petey Williams/Sonjay Dutt/Generation Me

Team 3D

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez

Bad Influence

Petey Williams/Sonjay Dutt vs. Generation Me and Hot Shots vs. Aces and 8’s are play in matches. Much like the X-Travaganza show missing AJ Styles, no James Storm on this show with any of his three tag title partners (to be fair he and Gunner hadn’t teamed up when this was taped) makes this feel incomplete.

We’ll be having highlight packages of all of the teams throughout the night. Up first are Petey Williams and Sonjay Dutt, who from what I can find have been a two man team three times ever: Tonight, the X-Travaganza One Night Only show and an Impact in 2008. There’s no narration or anything and it’s just highlights.

Generation Me’s video is set to the old WWF Hardy Boys theme song. I wasn’t a huge Hardys fan, but this team couldn’t hold the Hardys’ drugs/extra helping of fried lard, let alone lace their boots.

Tag Team Tournament Play-In: Petey Williams/Sonjay Dutt vs. Generation Me

I can never remember which is Jeremy and which is Max. Then again I could never remember which Hardy was which at first so maybe they’re more comparable than I thought. Dutt starts with a headlock on let’s say Jeremy and gets a Let’s Go Senshi chant. Jeremy comes back with a Sin Cara armdrag out of the corner and a double seated dropkick puts Dutt down again. Sonjay tags in Petey to speed things up with a dropkick to Max’s back. Everything breaks down and the non-brothers are both knocked to the floor. A headscissors from Jeremy sends Sonjay into a Max dropkick for two in a nice double team.

It’s Dutt in trouble now as the crowd is trying to get into this. The Bucks work on the arm for a bit before Max hooks a chinlock. Sonjay fights up and tags in Petey to clean house again with a slingshot Codebreaker and a running knee to take the Bucks down. A spin into a Russian legsweep gets two on Max but Jeremy breaks up the Canadian Destroyer attempt. Sonjay comes back in with a springboard double dropkick for two as the cameraman is taken down.

Jeremy gets caught in the corner for some fast tagging by Williams and Dutt. Petey gets caught in a bulldog out of the corner and it’s hot tag to Max. Dutt gets taken down by a CM Punk running knee/bulldog out of the corner as everything breaks down. Jeremy dives through the ropes to take Petey down on the floor as Sonjay gets two off the standing Sliced Bread.

Petey comes back in for another Russian legsweep on Max but Jeremy superkicks him down. More Bang For Your Buck (fireman’s carry slam by Jeremy into a 450 by Max into a moonsault from Jeremy) gets two on Sonjay as Petey makes the save and hits the Canadian Destroyer on Max, only to have Jeremy kick Williams in the face for the pin.

Rating: C. Take four guys, let them do high spots on each other for eight minutes, listen to the crowd cheer for them. The match was nothing great but there were some nice high spots to wake the crowd up. Petey was the best guy out there as Sonjay looked slow and the Bucks were their usual sloppy selves.

Highlight package on the Hot Shots, an old team of Chase Stevens and Cassidy Riley, who never went anywhere and are here so TNA can talk about the past. They’re another team that could have been left out of this to keep it at eight teams but we need to fill time since having matches go longer is just crazy.

Video on Garrett Bischoff/Wes Brisco turning on Angle to join Aces and 8’s.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Hot Shots vs. Aces and 8’s

It’s Garrett and Brisco in case that wasn’t clear. The fans are behind the Hot Shots as Tazz turns into the Aces and 8’s cheerleader that annoyed the Impact audience for months. Stevens cranks on Wes’ arm to start before it’s off to Cassidy as Tenay tries to convince us to care about Wes because of his family tree. Off to Garrett who gets armdragged down as the announcers completely ignore the match to talk about Eric Bischoff.

Stevens gets two off a front suplex and a legdrop to Garrett before bringing Cassidy back in. Cassidy gets caught by the bikers and choked against the ropes as the announcers try to find something to talk about here. Garrett gets two off a suplex and it’s back to Brisco for a chinlock. Taz gets the Aces and 8’s confused by calling Bischoff Brisco by mistake.

Wes comes back in for a chinlock as Tenay rips on Taz for his mistake. Cassidy finally fights up with a clothesline to put both guys down as we’re now discussing a referee’s spelling abilities. Chase gets the hot tag and everything breaks down until Stevens is left alone. Brisco distracts him from the apron, allowing Bischoff to hit Stevens low for the pin.

Rating: D. This was another match that didn’t need to exist. The Hot Shots could have been any two guys thrown together and it wouldn’t have mattered at all. On top of that, the commentary was even worse than usual. Even they were making it clear that there was no need for this match to happen and that there was nothing to it. That’s a really bad sign and doesn’t make me want to watch the rest of the show.

We now have our first rounds set.

Aces and 8’s

Samoa Joe/Magnus

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

British Invasion

Generation Me

Aces and 8’s

Chavo Guerrero Jr./Hernandez

Bad Influence

Highlights on the British Invasion, comprised of Douglas Williams and Rob Terry tonight.

The Brits say they’ll win.

Video on Austin Aries and Bobby Roode, who were a team for how long? Three months? To be fair though they were champions when this was taped.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Bobby Roode/Austin Aries vs. British Invasion

Roode poses to start in an effort to make fun of Terry. Aries and Williams get us going and lock up about 90 seconds after the bell. Austin bails to the corner to keep the stalling intact before Williams shoves Aries into the corner. We’re about three minutes into the match when Aries takes him to the mat for the first time. Terry comes in to chase Aries and Roode to the floor where they mock his physique again.

Back in and it’s off to Roode as we’re still killing time. Roode does his posing again but backs away from a test of strength. Terry finally gets bored and beals Bobby across the ring before bringing Williams back in. The Brits start working on Bobby’s arm before Douglas drops a knee for two. Aries’ knee drop to break up the cover hits Roode by mistake but he manages to shove Williams off the top to take over. Taz names the Brits the Yiddish Invasion for no apparent reason.

Aries takes over with an armbar on Williams as the fans try to clap him back to his feet. Back to Bobby who wraps the arm around the post before choking on the ropes. We actually get some insight from Taz as he calls Roode and Aries a modern day Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson. I wouldn’t go that far but it’s the closest thing to intelligence that we’ll get from him all night.

Williams finally blocks a charging Roode in the corner and takes him down with a middle rope European uppercut. Hot tag brings in Terry who shrugs off Aries’ forearms to the chest. Rob catches Aries in midair and kicks Roode down before dropping Austin on Roode for two. Terry tags Williams back in but gets taken down by a missile dropkick from Aries. Roode gets in a cheap shot to Williams and Crossfaces him for the win.

Rating: C. Match of the night so far and that’s not saying much at all. It’s still not a great match or even a very good one but it followed a formula and had clear cut heels and faces, putting it ahead of the first two matches. Aries and Roode worked well together, which is likely why they were split up so fast.

Video on Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez. Blast it I was hoping to avoid them on this show. Well any show actually.

We go straight from a boring team to one of the most entertaining I can remember in a long time: Bad Influence. Again, it shows the power of letting funny people be funny instead of writing lines to make unfunny people try to sound funny.

Bad Influence says Dixie’s trickle down of disrespect continues by making them be in a tournament instead of just naming them the best tag team ever. Daniels says this show should be called Foregone Conclusion because no one is better than they are. Tonight Chavo and Shawn are first but certainly not last.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Bad Influence vs. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez

Chavo and Daniels get things going by circling each other until Daniels hugs Kaz. There’s no contact a minute into the match. Now Chavo hugs the referee for no apparent reason before locking up with Daniels. Christopher demands and receives a clean break out of the corner. Hernandez bails to the floor instead of hugging Chavo so Daniels fires some shoulders into the corner. Chavo comes back with a series of backdrops but gets caught by the arm and dragged into the Bad Influence corner.

Kaz poses on the apron and thrusts the pelvis a bit before cranking on Chavo’s arm behind the referee’s back. Chavo can’t get over to Hernandez but reverses the armbar by Daniels and drags Daniels over to the Bad Influence corner where a not paying attention Kaz cranks on his partner’s arm by mistake. He sees Chavo and Hernandez on the floor and the wheels in his head slowly start to turn. This armbar is already more entertaining than most of the other matches tonight.

Chavo sneaks back in and uppercuts Daniels to take over before bringing in Hernandez for a bearhug into an overhead belly to belly suplex. Back to Chavo who allows a tag off to Kaz, who gets splashed by Hernandez for two. Chavo comes in again with a slingshot hilo and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two each on Kaz but a Daniels distraction lets Kazarian take over. Daniels comes back in for a front facelock before Kaz gets two off a slingshot legdrop. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Kaz lets go and hits a gorgeous dropkick for two. The announcers talk about the Guerrero Family as Chavo head fakes Kaz into a double clothesline to put both guys down.

Hernandez comes in to clean house with the big shoulder blocks but Kaz saves Daniels from the Border Toss. A missile dropkick sends SuperMex into Chavo for a tag and it’s Three Amigos time for Daniels. Kaz breaks up the Frog Splash attempt but Chavo kicks him down as Hernandez powerbombs Daniels. The second attempt at the Splash gets rid of the most interesting team in the tournament.

Rating: C+. Again, I rarely had a problem with Chavo and Hernandez between the ropes. They could have decent matches with the right opponents and Bad Influence would fit that description. As long as I don’t have to hear Chavo talk about his heritage I’m fine. Bad Influence deserves better, but that’s always the case.

Video on Samoa Joe and Magnus who were thrown together in a wild card tag team tournament and won the belts in a surprise. That’s about all for their story.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. Aces and 8’s

Bischoff starts with Joe and is immediately caught in a wristlock and armbar. Garrett gets to the ropes twice in a row as we’re still firmly in first gear. The Aces finally get Joe into their corner for some double teaming, only to have Wes get punched away with ease. Off to Magnus for some right hands and a clothesline before Joe comes back in with a backsplash.

The bikers double team Joe down again by taking out his knee, allowing Garrett to use his wide array of knee drops. Back to Brisco for a leg lock before Garrett comes in for some right hands. Joe casually stands up and stares at Bischoff but a kick to the leg puts him down again. A t-bone suplex puts Bischoff down again and it’s hot tag to the Brit to clean house. Magnus gets two on Bischoff off a suplex before the enziguri into the snapmare into the top rope elbow are enough to end Brisco.

Rating: D. The result was what you would expect from two world champions with chemistry against two unproven goons. This was just a step above a squash but at least the horrible team is gone. I’m glad they kept this short at least because I can only take so much Bischoff and Brisco at once.

Generation Me says they’ll beat Team 3D.

Speaking of Team 3D, here’s their highlight video.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Team 3D vs. Generation Me

This is a match I didn’t think I’d ever see and I was glad about that. The former Dudleys go right after Generation Me to start and the beating is on fast. Dropkicks have little effect on the bikers and they easily slam the smaller guys down. We start with D-Von vs. Max as the domination continues. A powerslam gets two on Max as Tazz is loving this stuff. Off to Bully who shrugs off right hands and shoves Max into the 3D corner.

Ray snaps off headbutts to the chest and follows them with a hard chop as this has been one sided so far. Max finally gets over for a tag to Jeremy who walks into a great looking big boot to stop any momentum he had. We hit the neck crank for a bit before D-Von comes in to clothesline the freshly tagged Max inside out. There’s another chinlock as this squash goes on a bit longer. D-Von charges into a boot in the corner but clotheslines Max’s head into Tampa Bay. Ray: “MY BROTHER JUST CLOTHESLINED YOUR HEAD OFF!”.

Ray comes in with a backdrop and knocks Jeremy into the barricade. Tazz pines for ECW for a bit until D-Von misses a middle rope headbutt. A hot tag brings in Jeremy to clean house for a bit until a double superkick puts D-Von down. Ray breaks up a cover and punches Max’s head off. Team 3D collides in the middle of the ring and the Bucks (Generation Me’s indy name) hit stereo missile dropkicks. That’s their highlight though as Max walks into 3D for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m an old Dudley Boys fan and I’ve never liked Generation Me so this was a fun match. It wasn’t interesting for the most part but I could watch Bully kick little guys’ heads off all day. There was no way you could have the Bucks put up a legitimate fight here so the squash was the right path to take.

Post match Ray threatens to slap So Cal Val around if she doesn’t bring him the mic like she should. “Now go do my dishes like a feeble woman.” Ray gets in an argument with an old lady at ringside and says some woman is so ugly that he wouldn’t even let D-Von sleep with her. Jeremy Borash is in the aisle but Ray stops him by threatening to sleep with him. The look of shock and horror on Borash’s face is beyond description. Ray lists off Team 3D’s accomplishments and promises to win. D-Von loads up the TESTIFY line but Ray wants to say it instead. “Nah it’s your line you say it.” These guys have pure chemistry.

Here are the updated brackets:

Samoa Joe/Magnus

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

Team 3D

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez

We recap how we got to the semi-finals to kill some time.

Joe and Magnus say never say never about their chances.

Tag Team Tournament Semi-Finals: Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

This has a lot of potential. The heels are skeptical about getting into the ring until it’s Magnus vs. Roode. The fans chant for Beer Money and think that the Cowboy is better. Bobby grabs a wristlock to start but Magnus counters into a hammerlock. A shoulder block puts Roode down and it’s off to Joe for an atomic drop and backsplash. Magnus and Joe take out Aries as well as this is one sided so far.

Aries finally comes back with an elbow to the back of Joe’s head as Tazz reminisces about doing commentary with Mike Adamle. Magnus gets choked against the ropes and forearmed in the chest before it’s off to Roode. The announcers FINALLY talk about the match instead of explaining the Bolo Punch. Aries goes after the Brit’s knee with a chop block and a cannonball before it’s off to Roode for some stomping.

A top rope knee to Magnus’ knee gets two for Aries before the heels do some classic cheating with Roode giving extra leverage. Roode misses a middle rope knee drop and it’s hot tag to Joe. The Samoan cleans house and the good guys hit their finishing sequence on Aries, only to have Roode pull the referee out. Aries loads up a foreign object to blast Joe in the head for the pin.

Rating: C+. Match of the night so far but that’s not saying much at all. As is always the case with these shows, the match would have been way better with more time, but for some reason no matches on these shows can go longer than thirteen minutes. This was entertaining while it lasted but they had to rush to the finish instead of letting the match get there on its own.

Chavo and Hernandez say JB just found the best tag team in TNA history when he started talking to them. Team 3D will be Team 3-No Mas when they get done with them.

Tag Team Tournament Semi-Finals: Team 3D vs. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez

Ray gets in an argument with a kid on his way to the ring. I miss old school heel work like that. Bully brings in a chair but Hebner takes it away from him. “IF I CAN’T USE MY CHAIR, HE CAN’T USE A CHIMICHANGA OR A BURRITO!” D-Von and Chavo circle each other to start until Chavo sends him to the floor for more stalling. It’s off to Bully who gets caught in a Guerrero headlock but Ray clotheslines his head off to take over.

D-Von comes back in but gets forearmed into the good guy corner for a tag off to Hernandez. A Stinger Splash in the corner gets two but D-Von jacks his jaw to take over. It’s back to Bully for some loud chops followed by D-Von with a front facelock. Hernandez easily drives him into the corner for the tag to Chavo as the match keeps meandering along.

Bully comes back in to send Hernandez into the corner and slap on a bearhug. SuperMex gets up top but Ray chops him down, setting up a D-Von superplex for two. Hernandez hits a quick shoulder for the not hot tag to Chavo for some house cleaning. Everything breaks down and Chavo has to roll through the Frog Splash, only to walk into the 3D for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was another match that never took off at all and felt like it rushed to the ending, though it wasn’t as bad as the previous match. At least we don’t have to listen to another promo from Chavo about the Guerrero Spirit or whatever else he wants to say that makes people think of Eddie.

We recap the semi-finals.

Aries and Roode drink coffee and water while talking about what a toll tournament take on their bodies. They may not have Team 3D’s experience, but they know each other as well as you can. Roode says they’re two of the best in the world today and that means they can beat any team.

Team 3D talks about beating two teams and having one win left. They run down the two teams they already beat and promise that Aries and Roode will take a 3D of their own.

Tag Team Tournament Finals: Team 3D vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

This gets the big match intros as more time is killed. For some reason the lights have been turned off and there are only spotlights on the ring. Ray takes the mic from JB to make sure the intro is perfect, despite having a bit of a disagreement over how much they weigh. He challenges Aries to do a better intro if he can, leading to a weight dispute between the other team as well. Aries of course mentions beating Roode for the title before saying they don’t need a team name because they’re just that great.

The match starts with a brawl on the floor as the fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here. Who thought heel vs. heel was a good idea here? Aries takes over on Bully while D-Von and Roode stagger around ringside. D-Von is sent into the barricade as Aries hits an ax handle from the apron to Bully. Ray comes back with a low chop to take Austin down while D-Von chokes Aries against the post.

The pairings switch off and Aries takes over on D-Von. No one has actually been in the ring yet. Ray chases Hebner with a chain before bringing Aries inside for What’s Up, only to have Roode make the save. Aries gets in a low blow to Ray as we finally have some starters. Roode comes in to stomp on Ray’s ankle before Aries comes in for a top rope knee drop. A Hennig neck snap puts Ray into the wrong corner but he chops Aries from his knees.

Aries puts on a front facelock as the fans still aren’t sure who to cheer for here. They pick Ray at the moment, even though he’s the top heel in the company. Ray makes the tag to D-Von but a Roode distraction means it doesn’t count. Roode comes back in for a chinlock but Ray belly to backs his way out. Aries stomps away in the corner as the announcers talk about Howard Stern and Jesse Ventura running for President.

Ray fights up and collides with Roode, setting up the ice cold tag to D-Von. He cleans house for a few seconds before Aries and Roode double team him down. Aries loads up the foreign object but hits Roode by mistake, setting up the 3D for the pin. Tenay of course acts like this is the least interesting thing ever.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad but the booking made next to no sense. Ray spent his previous two matches being the biggest jerk he could possibly be but we’re supposed to cheer for his team in the finals? The logical move would have been to put Joe and Magnus over by DQ or countout to protect the champions and give us a basic heel vs. face final, but instead they went with this and the crowd didn’t know what to do. The lighting was weird too.

A four and a half minute recap closes the show.

Overall Rating: D. This show wasn’t horrible but something even worse: boring. There’s just nothing to see here and the best match is decent at best. The lack of James Storm and the illogical booking of the main event didn’t help anything either. It felt like no one cared here and no one put in any effort, making this to be the least interesting of the entire series so far.

Results

Generation Me b. Sonjay Dutt/Petey Williams – Spinning kick to Williams’ head

Aces and 8’s b. Hot Shots – Low blow to Stevens

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode b. British Invasion – Crossface to Williams

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Bad Influence – Frog Splash to Daniels

Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Aces and 8’s – Top rope elbow to Brisco

Team 3D b. Generation Me – 3D to Max

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode b. Samoa Joe/Magnus – Aries hit Joe with a foreign object

Team 3D b. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez – 3D to Guerrero

Team 3D b. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode – 3D to Aries

 

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Impact Wrestling
Date: December 27, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley, Tazz

Hey it’s Open Fight Night, BECAUSE WE JUST HAD A FREAKING GIMMICK SHOW LAST WEEK! Pay no attention to the fact that these shows never accomplish anything and the ratings keep going down, because clearly these stupid gimmicks are the only thing holding them up as high as they go. The show will likely be fine but man alive I don’t care about this Open Fight thing. Let’s get to it.

After the usual opening recap, here’s Bully Ray with something to say. He realizes he and Hogan can’t get along because Hogan won’t trust him. Tonight, he’s calling Hulk out for a talk rather than a fight. The music plays but there’s no Hulk. Instead we get Brooke who says Hulk isn’t here. We get the melodramatic promo from Brooke about how someone had a camera or something because Hulk knows. DOES NO ONE WATCH THEIR OWN TV SHOWS ANYMORE??? Ray denies anything exists and leaves with Brooke trying to talk sense into him.

Here’s Aries who doesn’t care what the fans think of him. He’ll win the title back soon but tonight, he’s going to be in the main event against Roode for costing him the title last week.

Samoa Joe calls out the hammer guy from Aces and 8’s and promises to take his mask.

Samoa Joe vs. Masked Man

Joe pounds away to start but gets beaten down in the corner. The masked guy (I believe Mike Knox) hits the running crotch attack in 619 position but misses a charge in the corner. Joe tries the MuscleBuster but gets kicked away. There’s the Clutch instead and the masked guy is out at 2:56.

Joe goes for the mask but the rest of the bikers come in for the save. Of course they do.

Robbie E and Jesse have a Dude/Bro off. I’m strangely intrigued by this. The challenge is for a Bro Off later rather than a match of course.

Kenny King tells Christian York to watch tonight and maybe he’ll get an X Title match.

It’s time for the Bro Off, which has three rules: every bro for himself, you have to end everything in bro….and the third rule isn’t listed. Apparently this is a dance off. Scratch that as Robbie dances and Jesse poses. Jesse presses Tara over his head but apparently it’s Bros and not Hoes, so Robbie wins by DQ. Robbie T says that’s not it because he’s in this too. He poses as well before pressing Robbie E over his head. T also fist pumps, backflips, does one handed pushups and humps the mat. The look on E and Jesse’s faces are HILARIOUS. T wins apparently.

Van Dam, looking higher than I’ve ever seen him, calls out Christian York instead of Kenny King.

Christian York vs. Rob Van Dam

Feeling out process to start with both guys missing some strikes. York hits a half nelson suplex to take over and a kick to Van Dam’s back to follow up. A rana sends Van Dam to the outside and a missile dropkick back inside for no cover. The Mood Swing (Eve’s rolling neckbreaker) gets two as does a kick out of the corner from York. York hits a top rope double stomp to the back for two but misses a charge in the corner. Van Dam hits a split legged moonsault for two and Rolling Thunder for no cover. Five Star gets the pin at 4:03.

Rating: C. Nice spot fest here but literally that’s it. There was nothing between these moves which gets really annoying really fast. York is a guy who they’re at least making look competent, which is all you can ask for with a new guy like him. Also at least there’s something to look at, unlike the other Gut Check people who never show up again.

D-Von talks about getting someone new to join the club. Doc is with some girls and approves of the plan.

We get a package on Joseph Park in OVW. Park: “I’m setting the bar for training.” Danny Davis: “He’s dumber than a box of rocks.” We get the clip of Park morphing into Abyss which was the potential that Davis was looking for.

Bad Influence goes to make sure they don’t have any merchandise on sale. They have a post-Christmas present for everyone.

Remember to vote for Superstar of the Year.

Roode says he’s winning tonight and getting the title back at Genesis.

Sting is still going to be back on 1-3-13.

Daniels dances out to the ring and says greetings and salutations to all you ham sandwiches. He’s the reason AJ hasn’t been around anymore so why not do it one more time? He calls out AJ and naturally it’s Kaz in the AJ gear. Kaz cuts a promo in a GREAT AJ impersonation and says how great Daniels is. Kaz: “I’m not going to wrestle you. I’m going to go find Clair Lynch and….” Daniels: “NO! NOBODY WANTS THAT!”

The tag champions come out and challenge Bad Influence for right now.

Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero vs. Bad Influence

Fast paced start with Daniels getting thrown around by Chavo. Off to Hernandez for a bearhug into a belly to belly overhead suplex. The champions pound away on Daniels before slamming Kaz onto Daniels for no cover. Daniels begs away from Hernandez and we take a break. Back with Hernandez doing his delayed vertical suplex on Daniels. I’m not sure if any time has actually passed since we left. Things break down and Daniels takes over on SuperMex.

The non-champions hit back to back slingshot strikes on Hernandez to take over. The match drags on and gets very boring in a hurry with the heels in control. After about 8 hours, the lukewarm tag brings in Chavo who hits Three Amigos on Kaz. Bad Influence hits a Hart Attack for two but Hernandez sends them to the floor. The champs hit a double dive to the floor before throwing Kaz back in for the Frog Splash and the pin at 14:30.

Rating: C. The match was fine but OH MY GOODNESS Chavo and Hernandez are boring. You have Bad Influence getting some of the funniest lines in this company in years and they get to job time after time to this generic Latino tag team. Seriously, that’s the ONLY thing about the champs that sets them apart from any two other guys. They’re the champions and they’re going to have them for a long time, because there is no tag division in TNA.

Hardy has little to say.

Video on Aces and 8’s attacking people with the hammer.

We see the guy that Aces and 8’s wants to join….and it’s Mr. Anderson. He’s offered women to help them out and apparently they’re good enough to sway him into considering it.

Gail Kim vs. Miss Tessmacher

You know, for those people who wanted this feud to be picked up again. Tessmacher takes over to start and does the Stinkface thing in the corner. Gail gets knocked to the floor but takes over back inside. Kim loads up a super rana but Tessmacher blocks it, sending Gail down onto her head. FREAKING OW MAN! A dragon sleeper in the corner doesn’t do much for Tessmacher so Gail takes over again. The sloppiness continues but Tessmacher can’t hit that Tesshocker thing of hers. A top rope elbow misses Gail and Eat Defeat ends this at 5:24.

Rating: D. I can’t stand the Knockouts anymore and these two sucking the charisma out of things that don’t even have charisma in the first place are a good reason for that. Nothing to see here at all and I barely have enough to say to fill in the four lines of space that I try to have for each rating.

Next week it’s Aces and 8’s vs. Angle/Joe in a cage. Sure why not.

Bobby Roode vs. Austin Aries

Feeling out process to start until Aries sends Roode to the floor. He loads up the suicide dive but stops cold when Roode is waiting on him. We take a break (complete with a Hardy voiceover) and come back to see them hammering on each other before Aries is sat on top. They ring each others’ ears and trade pokes to the eyes. Aries knocks Roode down and tries what looks like an elbow, only to roll through when Roode moves.

Bobby loads up a spear but gets caught in the Last Chancery. Roode pokes the eyes to escape and puts on the Crossface which I guess is his secondary finisher. Aries goes to the eyes as well to escape, showing some nice storytelling here. Roode begs off in the corner but trips Aries up for two with his feet on the ropes.

Aries tries a rollup with trunks for two of his own but walks into the spinebuster for two. Hebner disarms Roode of the chair he picked up, allowing Aries to hit a discus elbow for two. Now Austin brings in the chair but Henber will still have none of it. Hebner goes off on both guys so they both deck him and toss him to the floor, throwing the match out at about 13:00.

Rating: B-. I had a great time with this and I’m glad neither guy won. There was no reason to have one guy go over the other and the stereo cheating was a great touch. It’s clear they’re setting up a threeway and that’s probably the right move to go with until we set up Aries vs. Hardy whatever at Lockdown. Good stuff here.

Post match they both go for the chair but Hardy runs out and takes both guys out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The first hour was pretty good but after that this show fell off a cliff. I’m not sure what it was but I think the tag match had something to do with it. The problem with TNA is when something is bad, it’s REALLY bad and that’s what happened here. We’re two weeks away from Genesis and as usual, we have NOTHING scheduled yet. The three way is pretty obvious, but other than that the card could go in a lot of directions. By this point though, we should have hit some stops as we head in a direction.

Results

Samoa Joe b. Masked Man – Koquina Clutch

Rob Van Dam b. Christian York – Five Star Frog Splash

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Bad Influence – Frog Splash to Kazarian

Gail Kim b. Miss Tessmacher – Eat Defeat

Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode went to a no contest

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Final Battle 2006
Date: December 23, 2006
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Lenny Leonard, Dave Prazak

To say I don’t know much about ROH would be an understatement. I know it’s the biggest indy company out there and that’s about it. This is the second show of theirs that I’ve done so I’m at least trying. This is one of their bigger shows of the year and the name comes from that it’s the last show of the year. This is also three and a half hours long so it’s going to be a long night. I’ll do what I can as far as knowing names, but I make no promises about having a clue as to what’s going on. Let’s get to it.

We see Homicide and Danielson walking into the arena. That’s the main event.

And Santa Claus is here. Ok then with an elf. The fans recognize him apparently. There’s another elf in his bag. They throw out t-shirts until some guys come in and beat the heck out of them with chairs and some nice double team stuff. Ah they’re the Briscoes. I knew they looked familiar. They want the Kings of Wrestling, more commonly known as Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli. Ah apparently those were ROH students. That’s what I was betting on.

Jimmy Jacobs talks about being a stranger in this city. He talks about wanting to hurt Colt Cabana and BJ Whitmer. He loved this chick named Lacey (not that Lacey. This one has talent) and Colt slept with her and BJ messed her face up. He’s teaming with Brent Albright later against those two. This would lead into the Age of the Fall about 9 months later which is what got me to somewhat follow ROH.

The fans are chanting OLE so I’m betting on a luchador. And I’m right.

El Generico vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Davey Richards vs. Christopher Daniels

To say the fans don’t like Rave is an understatement. It’s nice to hear some good solid insults unlike a WWE show. A DIE JIMMY DIE chant starts up. Ok then. Richards is a big deal now and allegedly is the future of the company. He comes out to Runnin With The Devil so I can’t complain. This is a four corner survival match which I’m guessing means elimination rules? Daniels is a tag champion here.

The fans like fallen angels apparently. Maybe this is the Daniels I always hear about being awesome. There’s a fairly hot chick with him named Allison Danger so I can’t complain. His entrance takes a LONG time. She’s a girl scout and the fans want cookies. That’s creative at least. We’re nearly fifteen minutes in and we just now hear the announcers. Richards and Generico start.

This is two outside and two inside. We stall for a LONG time to start, namely due to Generico continuously shouting OLE! We’ll be getting a year in review kind of thing also which is a major plus for me. We hear about Rave having a heel hook that got Nigel McGuinness (Desmond Wolfe) to tap out.

Richards is confused by Generico. Hey I’m thinking like Richards! Daniels’ partner is Matt Sydal, more commonly known as Evan Bourne. Danger is the sister of Steve Corino. Dang. Scratch the elimination part as it’s first pinfall wins. That kind of makes no sense but whatever. Rave vs. Daniels now. Daniels wins. Like, wins a lot. Not the match, just the fight. Wow I worded that one badly didn’t I?

I never liked Rave in TNA and I think I’m seeing why again here. Danger gets the fans to cheer. That’s what a manager is supposed to do partially so she’s doing her job. Richards is fun to watch if nothing else. A German on Generico gets two. Best Moonsault Ever is broken up.

They’re doing a good job of keeping it at about three people in there which is nice instead of the usual two pairings these devolve into. Rave is being smart and just letting these three fight. I’m not entirely sure why the crowd is this into it though. It’s not that great. Generico hits his brainbuster on the turnbuckle on Richards, but Rave made a tag when they were in the corner.

He slips in and gets his heel hook for the submission. Pay no attention to the total lack of tagging for the five minutes before this. He gets on the mic and complains about respect but Nigel McGuinness comes out and slaps him.

Rating: B-. This was ok but it wasn’t anything great. It just came off as being all over the place and lost its structure about 10 minutes in. It’s not bad or anything, but it’s just not that good. Having the heel win the opener is a bit of a head scratcher too but that’s fine I suppose. Just nothing to make me that into the show.

Adam Pearce vs. Ricky Reyes

Pearce is the current NWA World Champion but that hadn’t happened yet. Pearce is kind of a throwback to old heels but the doesn’t have a lot of the talent to do so. He dedicates the night to Jim Cornette for no apparent reason.

He guarantees Homicide doesn’t leave with the world title. Both of these guys have seconds here, one of which is named Shane Hangadorn and the other of which is named Julius Smokes. Pearce apparently looks like Repo Man. This is impromptu even though both came down in their ring attire and they had graphics ready for their names. Sure why not.

Apparently if Homicide loses here he quits. Hagadorn throws something to Pearce and he blasts Reyes with it for the pin. Short and pretty uninteresting. Smokes gets beaten up too.

Rating: D+. Not much here at all but to be fair it was fairly short so I can’t complain much. I’ve never thought much of Pearce and this Smokes guy is getting very annoying very quickly. I’m not sure what the point of this was but it didn’t work that well.

Jimmy Jacobs/Brent Albright vs. BJ Whitmer/Colt Cabana

Cabana’s music is catchy if nothing else. It’s a brawl immediately as we’re told Albright is a gun for hire. Well that explains why he’s in there. We get a series of 2-1s until we get to…more 2-1s. I don’t think there are faces and heels here or anything as they might be all faces. Not sure though. I think Whitmer and Cabana are the default heels but I’m not sure.

We almost get a table spot but Albright makes the save. Whitmer does a cool thing as he suplexes both himself and Jacobs to the floor. It’s better than it sounds. We haven’t had anything resembling a coherent match as it’s all just a big mess so far. Not bad though. Finally we get Whitmer vs. Jacobs who used to be tag partners. They used to be tag champions if that means anything.

Albright hooks a crossface minus the arm trap on Whitmer while looks good. Jacobs is completely obsessed with Lacey but she doesn’t care for him romantically. Welcome to my world kid. Cabana hasn’t been in the match legally yet and we’re a good ways into it. Cabana just comes in after that and hits a sweet moonsault.

He’s actually dominating with a move called the Butt Butt. It’s like a headbutt but with the…you get the idea. Yeah it’s odd. Actually Goldust used to do that. It breaks down into a total mess until Albright just goes off on everyone and powerbombs Whitmer through the table at ringside. Cabana gets destroyed by rolling Germans so Jacobs can hit a senton off the top for the pin.

Rating: B-. Again not bad and while it’s better than the opener, it’s still nothing great. To be fair though there hasn’t been much build up to these matches although I’d bet on the main events to be pretty well put together. This wasn’t terrible but it certainly wasn’t great either. Decent enough match though.

Ad for ROH’s website where they have WWE and TNA DVDs. Ok then.

Kings of Wrestling vs. Briscoe Brothers

The Kings are Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli in case you weren’t sure. They’re actually the tag champions there again now which is a bit surprising. For awhile they had the ROH, CZW and CHIKARA tag belts at the same time. There was a CZW vs. ROH story for a good part of 2006 which is how Hero got to ROH permanently.

He has his new agent, Larry Sweeney, with him. Claudio might be going to WWE. He talks about signing a contract and was written out of storylines, but he didn’t go for some reason. They’re heels here but the fans love them. The Briscoes though are the most popular team ever in ROH so there we are. And we have no commentary. Ok then. One of the Briscoes hits a huge dive onto the Kings.

Ah there’s the commentary. Alright Jay has the tattoo on his back. Got it. The Briscoes are kind of like a bigger and more intense Hardys, just they’re less interesting. It’s dueling chants time. In a nice move Castagnoli hits a European Uppercut to the back of Jay. Claudio had been the abandoner of the company back in the CZW war in case you care. Both of the Kings are really tall.

I always have issues filling in time when a face is getting beaten down by nothing that impressive. Hero makes a nice save to stop the hot tag. Nice one. Hero hooks a WEIRD hold where he hooks the arms of Jay behind his own back and lifts them up with his feet. FREAKING OW! Mark finally comes in off the hot tag and of course he tidies up a bit. He didn’t do enough to classify that as cleaning.

Claudio hits a top rope European Uppercut and a Riccola Bomb (Arm Trap Sitout Powerbomb) for two. You know I wonder what would happen if you tagged one of your opponents. Would it be legal? Hard to say. Ok not really but stupid stuff like this pops into my head at times. Sweeney has been WORTHLESS here. I forgot he was there. That’s never a good sign.

A Doomsday Rana (Use your imaginations) and a Frog Splash get two on Claudio. I would have expected that to be the finish actually. In an insane looking move, Claudio has a Briscoe hanging both ways around his neck and spins them around into a half powerbomb half electric chair. Just awesome looking as far as a power display goes.

That of only gets two. Everybody busts out finishers and all four are down. GREAT sequence. Claudio kicks out at two as everyone is more or less dead. We’re closing in on twenty minutes here so I can’t blame them. With Sweeney on the apron, Claudio accidentally blasts Hero in the head with a briefcase and a Shooting Star/Guillotine Legdrop combination ends it. Dang I wish the ending had been cleaner.

Rating: B+. Fun match here as these guys just beat the tar out of each other. The one thing though is that ending. After that much they had to use a weapon shot for it? I’m not into that. Also Sweeney was more or less forgotten until the very end which is rather irritating to me for some reason. Still though, very fun match.

Post match, Claudio thanks the fans for the cheers but says he’s not going to WWE. He says just and see what the Kings of Wrestling have in store for the coming year. Sweeney then gets on the mic and says no because Claudio broke up the team and it’s over. Ok then.

With Claudio alone in the ring, here’s Samoa Joe. Joe is, in a word, huge in ROH. This is the Joe that stormed into TNA and took the place over. How did they mess him up again? Joe tells him to get out of his ring. For fear of being eaten by Joe, Claudio agrees. Joe makes a challenge to Pro Wrestling Noah and in particular Misawa.

He says bring on anyone from London or Japan but on February 16, there’s going to be a fight in New York. Nigel McGuinness comes out and accepts the challenge. And here’s Jimmy Rave to beat up McGuinness. Joe slaps him around and we’re going to get Rave vs. Nigel http://onhealthy.net/product-category/anticonvulsants/ later on.

It’s intermission time so Adam Pearce and Shane Hagadorn harass Gary Michael Capetta who looks to be about 90. They must have edited most  of intermission as we’re already back.

Jimmy Rave vs. Nigel McGuinness

Well that didn’t take long to sanction and sign did it? It’s weird seeing Wolfe with spiked hair. He’s ridiculously popular though, just like in TNA so of course he can’t be pushed right? They shake left hands for some odd reason. That’s different. This isn’t much but to be fair they have a feud going so this works.

I still don’t get the appeal of Rave though. Nigel does an insane submission hold where he locks Rave’s arm around his leg and traps the other arm behind Nigel’s back and bends backwards which looked like it was going to rip it off. The crowd goes oooooo at that. Nigel is apparently a big deal here. Nigel takes his head off with a clothesline but it gets two. Oh I’m sorry: it was a lariat.

Tower of London hits and Nigel isn’t sure what to do. Rave hits a Pedigree for one. Rave counters a Hulking Up Nigel into a Crippler Crossface. As impressive as Rave has been, I still just don’t care about him. Nigel hits a Tower of London (Diamond Cutter) onto the apron, which would be about the same as the mat wouldn’t it? It gets two either way so it doesn’t really matter.

And then after getting destroyed for about five minutes, Rave gets the heel hook and Nigel taps despite never having his leg worked on at all. I HATE moves like that. If that’s the case, why in the world would he wait almost fifteen minutes before going for it? At least with a strike like Sweet Chin Music it’s a knockout move.

This is just a submission which makes a part of the body hurt. Why go for the Crossface earlier? That makes NO SENSE. It’s completely anti-psychology and that’s just irritating. Plus it’s Jimmy Rave so it’s even more annoying. Rave wants a world title shot.

Rating: B-. Totally annoying ending aside, this was a pretty solid match I guess. There were a ton of near falls but you could see the ending coming a mile away with about three minutes to go. Nigel looks dominant but let’s push Rave because…well just because! Didn’t like the ending at all but the rest was good.

Danielson is getting ready.

Matt Sydal/Shingo/CIMA vs. Delirious/Austin Aries/Roderick Strong

Sydal is more commonly known as Evan Bourne as I mentioned above. Shingo is from Dragon Gate and CIMA might be as well. His name is pronounced Shima so this could lead to some misspellings. Also, I’m not capitalizing his name again. It’s the same thing despite what some would have you believe. Delirious is….yeah.

Aries is the only two time ROH World Champion so he’s something special here. Strong is a guy with something like 16 ways to hit a backbreaker. This is under Dragon Gate Rules which aren’t explained. Strong, Aries and Sydal were in a team called Generation Next together.

Apparently you don’t have to tag to switch off but you have to be on offense. Ok that makes sense. Delirious goes into a trance and goes insane once the bell rings. He’s definitely interesting if nothing else. He’s great in the ring if nothing else. He starts with Sydal who I’ll likely call Bourne at least once. This is your usual insane Japanese match and apparently the fans like Cima.

There isn’t much to talk about here other than it’s just general insanity the whole time. This is what you call a spotfest with some mild wrestling involved. It’s not bad or anything, but it’s not comparable to traditional matches. It’s weird seeing Sydal being considered a serious competitor rather than a spot monkey or jobber.

The fans like both teams. Aries is getting beaten down pretty fiercely. I think the team with the Japanese guys and Sydal are the heels even though Daniels, Sydal’s partner, was ridiculously popular. Fisherman’s suplex gets two on Aries. Strong gets the tag and comes in and he and Delirious clean house.

Cima is getting his head handed to him. With everyone brawling on the floor, Sydal goes up top and the crowd just rises to their feet. Great visual there. Delirious hits Shadows Over Hell (Splash to the back of a guy not on the mat) is followed by a 450 from Aries. This is totally insane. Cobra Stretch, Delirious’ submission, is broken up. Cima hits a package piledriver on Delirious for the pin.

Rating: B. This falls into that gray arena of entertaining but bad as far as flow or anything like that goes. Then again that’s kind of the point of the Dragon Gate promotion. This was supposed to be completely insane and it more or less was. It was fun though so I can’t complain much at all.

Everybody helps everybody up in a nice moment. Not everything has to be some epic storyline.

Homicide is ready.

Jack Evans returns in 2007.

ROH World Title: Homicide vs. Bryan Danielson

We have 54 minutes left in this tape. Let’s see if these two are as good as they’re said to be. We’re in Homicide’s hometown so he’s WAY over. It’s a good thing his first name isn’t commonly known. It might be hard to take a guy named Nelson seriously as s street thug. Danielson’s Final Countdown intro is cool too so I’ll give him that. He certainly has his fans too.

I’ve heard great things about both guys in this company so show me what you’ve got. We get the big match intros which are always fun. Danielson is heel here because he more or less has to be. We stall forever as the fans chant ring the bell. Danielson flips him off instead of shaking his hand like the Code of Honor stipulates. Here we go. About forty six and a half minutes to go in the tape at the bell so we’ve got a LOT of time here.

Some guy shows up to do commentary but his name is incomprehensible. We get a long feeling out sequence and Homicide takes off his bandana. Homicide has apparently had some shady decisions in title matches and if he doesn’t win here he’s gone, more or less saying he wins. At least I think so as he came to TNA around this time.

Smokes, the guy that got hurt earlier, isn’t here due to Pearce and Hagadorn. Homicide has a bad shoulder apparently thanks to Danielson last night. Danielson has tights like Regal used to wear. We have a lot of quick holds as they try to gain control. Apparently Danielson has a bad shoulder too.

No one really has an advantage for more than a few seconds here so we’re really still feeling each other out here. Apparently in a previous title match Homicide was getting hit in the head a lot and the referee stopped it which he disagreed with. The surfboard continues to look completely insane every time I see it.

This is wrestler vs. brawler here which is always an interesting dynamic. We get a slingshot suplex as Danielson is in control at this point. Scratch that as Homicide takes over. We hit the floor and Danielson is in trouble. We get the I HAVE TIL FIVE thing which I don’t think I’ve ever seen before. Three Amigos takes over for Homicide as Eddie had been dead just over a year at this point.

And at about 11 minutes in, Pearce and Hagadorn run in for the DQ. Are you kidding me? Danielson leaves with the belt as Homicide’s Crew makes the save. The crowd LOSES IT over this as even the commentators are saying YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME. Apparently they are as the referee says no way it ends that way and let’s keep going!

Here we go again as we’re back at it. Oh and the running in heels hit a spike shoulderbreaker on Homicide’s bad shoulder so it’s hurt now. I don’t get the point of the run in at all here. At least it happened I guess you would say early on in the match rather than later so that’s good. It’s his right arm if you’re curious.

Smokes is at ringside now. Oh joy. Danielson is in control now as you would expect him to be. Danielson goes for a flying headbutt and gets caught in a Diamond Cutter (Yes I know it’s properly called an Ace Crusher. If you want to argue which name is more famous I’d love to hear it) Also, assuming the headbutt was launched when Homicide was on the mat, dang he got up fast.

Homicide speeds things up and dives into the second row through the ropes in a cool looking spot. Now Danielson’s shoulder is hurt. This has been a very back and forth match. Danielson gets caught in an armbar but gets to the ropes for the escape. I love that jumping European Uppercut off the top. A crossface chickenwing goes on but more ropes are grabbed.

They trade strikes and hit the floor. Homicide slides back in and hits the ropes so he can….slide back out. Sure why not. Danielson hits a dive into the first few rows that looked great. Can we get rid of that Smokes idiot? He’s getting on my nerves. Danielson starts the series of elbows to the head like he did in the previous match but it doesn’t work.

There’s the crossface chickenwing and the body scissors in the middle of the ring. In a cool spot, the arm comes down a third time but as the referee goes for the bell, Homicide grabs his leg. And Smokes of course has to pour water on Homicide. Seriously, can someone shoot this guy?

Danielson doesn’t let go on the five count so Homicide just gets up. Uh, why didn’t he DO THAT EARLIER? Danielson gets Cattle Mutilation. One thing I want to know: where in the world did he come up with that name? Did he throw that on one day and was thinking about what would happen if he did it to a cow?

He hooks it three times but Homicide won’t tap. He throws in more elbows to the head but he stays in it. Homicide gets the Cop Killer (Vertebreaker for you WCW fans) for a LONG two but Danielson grabs the ropes. Homicide pulls a Randy Savage and goes for the ring bell which leads nowhere.

And then Danielson gets a low blow and small package for two and then Homicide hits a lariat for the pin. Seriously, that might have been the most out of nowhere ending ever. The ring mostly fills up for a celebration. Now can we please kill Julius Smokes?

Rating: A. This was indeed a great match and well worth seeing. There were some moments I didn’t like, but they were few and far between. Homicide winning was pretty clear but it came off well. They built up to a great match and I liked what I saw. Danielson is still overrated, but this was very good stuff. Homicide just doesn’t feel like a world champion to me, but I was impressed. Solid match and worth seeing.

Danielson hands him the belt and Homicide makes his acceptance speech. The remaining eleven minutes are him celebrating and highlights of the year which mean nothing to me since I don’t know who these people are.

Overall Rating: A-. Again I liked this show a lot. There’s one bad match and the rest is all at least good with the main event being great. This was a great show to close things out with for the year and it came off great with a big time title win. This is a great look at the company as you have a title match, a big angle, a lot of high flying, some good mat work and submission stuff in front of a white hot albeit small crowd. This was a great show and well worth checking out.

 

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Impact Wrestling
Date: December 12, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

The tournament is finally down to two entrants with Magnus and Jeff Hardy left to square off for the title. Thankfully they’re giving us a week off from the matches to get ready for the title match instead of just blasting through it tonight. We do however have Feast or Fired tonight, with a shot at all the male titles and a pink slip up for grabs. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Dixie trying to get the title back last week.

Rockstar Spud is driving near Gainsville, Georgia as he tries find AJ’s house.

In the arena, JB is standing next to four briefcases and the Wheel of Dixie. Inside the four cases are a World Title shot, an X-Division Title shot, a Tag Team Title shot and a pink slip. We’ll get to those later though as we need to find out the stipulations for the tournament final. Before we can talk about gimmick match #2 though, here’s Angle to clear the ring and call out Bobby Roode to end this once and for all.

Roode comes out and says he’ll fight but not right now. He was eliminated from the tournament by falling through a table. Angle was eliminated because ever since he passed on the Hall of Fame, Roode has beaten him. Kurt says he could beat Roode twice in one night and the fight is on again. Security comes out to break it up and Roode gets in a low blow. Next week is Final Resolution and Bobby wants a 2/3 falls match.

We look back at Bad Influence vs. Joseph Park, focusing on Bad Influence finding out that the Park Park and Park law offices closed years ago.

Eric Young has a plan for the match and asks Park to trust him.

Joseph Park/Eric Young vs. Bad Influence

Young takes Daniels down to start before bringing in a hesitant Park. Off to Kaz vs. Eric with Young raining down right hands in the corner. Back to Park as the fast tags continue and Tenay plugs every internet feature the company can think of. A knee to Park’s gut puts him down and Bad Influence takes turns pounding on him. Par fights back but gets nervous again, so Eric gives him a few hard right hands to the face, busting him open. Abyss mode ensues and Kaz is Black Hole Slammed for the pin at 5:45.

Rating: D+. I still don’t get the appeal of Eric Young. He isn’t particularly funny, he isn’t anything special in the ring, he doesn’t do anything that others couldn’t do just as well, but he’s kept a job for several years now. Bad Influence on the other hand is actually funny and can put on good matches, which is clearly why they’re stuck in feuds like this one.

Post match Eric tells Park that he’s Abyss, which apparently no one suggested to him in 18 months.

Ethan Carter III is getting massaged before he has a Hall of Fame moment tonight. It’s going to make social media explode.

Here’s Carter for his match but he makes sure to tell Brian Hebner that he has nothing to worry about. Tonight Carter is going to face TNA’s social media guru: Jeremy Borash. JB makes a hilarious terrified face like he just saw TNA’s PPV numbers but Sting of all people interrupts Carter.

Sting asks if he can shake Carter’s hands because Carter is a skyrocket. Carter is shooting for the stars but he hasn’t accomplished anything at all. Sting isn’t cool with this because Carter is just riding his family and last name through doors that never should have been opened for him. There’s a big match coming up tonight called Feast or Fired and Carter can either enter or fight Sting right now. Carter gets in Sting’s face and says it’s on, meaning he’ll enter Feast or Fired.

Spud is still looking for AJ’s house but finds a gas station attendant who says Styles hangs out at a bar down the road.

Gail Kim vs. ODB

This is supposed to be the open challenge but Gail says she’s beaten ODB too many times already. ODB says she’s here to fight Tapa though and the brawl is on. Gail gets involved though and ODB gets double teamed down until Madison Rayne (looking great with long reddish brown hair) returns to make the save.

Spud finds the bar and imitates a redneck to get some service. He calls AJ Alan Jones (his real name) and is told he’ll get information for a drink. Spud puts down a dollar bill and asks for some mixed drink, getting a beer with a lemon instead.

Post match Spud sings karaoke and is thrown out.

Video outlining Feast or Fired.

James Storm and Gunner apologize to each other and say good luck in the match tonight.

Spud keeps looking and walks off into the dark with a flashlight.

Here’s Dixie Carter to oversee the face to face meeting between Hardy and Magnus. Earlier tonight Angle destroyed the Wheel of Dixie but she’ll give him the 2/3 falls match anyway. That brings her to AJ Styles, who is still making a mockery of her world title. Next week though she gets a new world champion and brings out the competitors. Hardy talks about winning the Bound For Glory Series last year and promises to win the title again next week.

Magnus says he sees Hardy as the best today and the final obstacle. Dixie says the final match will be called Dixieland and we get a video explaining the concept. The match starts in a cage and you have to climb over the top and go up the ramp and climb a ladder to pull down the belt. I’m sure this isn’t going to be overbooked at all. Dixie promises to make the winner the face of TNA and let them become the most important person in the company.

Velvet says she has Sabin’s back tonight in his title match, even though Sabin seems oblivious to her.

Spud breaks into presumably AJ’s house and finds the belt in a bag on the coffee table. AJ comes down the stairs and is incredibly calm considering someone broke into his home. Apparently people had called him and told him to expect a British guy, hence why the door was open. AJ says we can either call the cops or call some of his buddies. Spud leaves the belt and runs away as AJ slams the door.

Anderson says he had fun at the funeral but now it’s time to get the world title back.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Austin Aries

Sabin is defending. Aries sends him into the corner to start and takes a victory lap, including a look at Sky. The distraction lets Aries slide back in for a baseball slide to take out Sabin, only to have the champion send him face first into the apron. A gutbuster gets three straight near falls for Sabin and he drapes Aries ribs first across the top rope for the same.

Aries comes right back by draping Sabin’s ribs across the top and pounding away at Chris’ head. A forearm puts Sabin on the floor but Aries throws him back in for a missile dropkick. Sabin stops a charging Aries with a boot to the face but Austin Japanese armdrags the champion into the corner. Chris rolls him up for two but the kickout nearly sends Sabin into Velvet. The distraction lets Aries hit the brainbuster for the pin and the title at 6:08.

Rating: C. Not bad here and maybe this can get the title to mean something for a few weeks. The belt has been worthless since BFG as it always is around this time of year. It’s just a toy that TNA dusts off every now and then to make it seem like it matters but it’ll be nothing again in a few weeks.

Post break Sabin gets in Aries’ face but Aries says he’ll enter Feast or Fired and then steal Velvet.

Magnus talks about winning the world title but gets a phone call.

Preview for next week’s Final Resolution with Angle vs. Roode and Jeff vs. Magnus.

Feast or Fired

Mr. Anderson, Curry Man, Samoa Joe, Dewey Barnes, Norv Fernum, Chris Sabin, Chavo Guerrero, Hernandez, Zema Ion, James Storm, Gunner, Austin Aries, Ethan Carter III

Anderson comes out to do his entrance but Bully Ray jumps him from behind and piledrives Anderson on the stage. Ray talks about evil standing strong over good in what sounds like a quote from a rather epic speech. He says Anderson’s wife is pregnant with twins but Ray will be responsible for their future.

As for the match, there’s a briefcase at each corner of the ring and whoever gets the case gets whatever is inside. That could be a shot at the World, Tag Team or X-Division Titles or a pink slip. The bell rings and Curry Man immediately walks out and Sabin bails to the floor. Fernum and Barnes both miss dives but Aries dives on everyone to take them out. Ion dropkicks Aries through the ropes and SuperMex launches himself over the top rope to take everyone out. Gunner backdrops storm onto them as Norm and Dewey hit dives of their own. Joe hits the suicide elbow to take the jobbers out and the ring is empty.

Carter gets back in the ring and gets case #3 as we take a break. Back with Joe destroying everyone in sight until Barnes and Fernum throw him to the floor. They both go up top but Ion shoves them to the floor, allowing him to grab case #2. Most of the people get back inside and it’s Aries diving onto Storm and Hernandez. A discus lariat staggers Hernandez and Aries hits some running dropkicks in the corner. He sends Barnes and Fernum into each other before going up top for a 450 onto both guys.

Austin goes for a case but Sabin makes a save, only to be sent into the steps. Joe, Chavo and Hernandez get back inside with Chavo being launched into the corner where he grabs case #4. Gunner and Storm get back inside but have to deal with Hernandez. Dewey and Norv come back in to try a superplex on Hernandez but Gunner powerbombs him down to make it a Tower of Doom. Storm Last Calls Joe to the floor but Gunner crotches him and takes the case to end the match at 14:11.

Rating: C+. This is always a hard match to grade as there are four winners and technically no losers. The whole point of the match is the drama of the cases being opened next week and not really about the action here. Gunner turning on Storm is kind of interesting but nothing out of the ordinary. Still though, decent enough stuff.

Dixie is sitting at a dinner table when Jeff Hardy comes in. He accepts a glass of wine as the show ends.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was really chatty. We had one match in the first hour and then a lot of talking. Then there was another match and we talked some more, then we had Feast or Fired to end things. Last week’s show worked because they threw a lot of stuff at us to keep it interesting, but tonight was all about only a handful of angles which got repetitive quickly. It’s not a horrible show but it was there to set up future stuff which doesn’t make for the most entertaining two hours.

Results

Joseph Park/Eric Young b. Bad Influence – Black Hole Slam to Kazarian

Austin Aries b. Chris Sabin – Brainbuster

Ethan Carter III, Zema Ion, Chavo Guerrero and Gunner won Feast or Fired

 

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