James Storm Out 6-8 Weeks

Due to an abdominal injury, according to his Twitter.

You know, it’s almost like TNA knew this was a possibility and booked him into a tag title match anyway.  Now some people would call that short sighted and stupid.  I’m sure the response to that would be “give TNA more time” or “WWE does stupid stuff too!”

 

To be fair though it’s not like TNA is doing anything of note with Storm anyway.




Impact Wrestling – April 11, 2013: The Best Big Show In A Long Time

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 11, 2013
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley, Tazz

We’re live again tonight and in the new location of Corpus Christi, Texas. This is the big live show that is more or less the PPV special of the month, featuring the Full Metal Mayhem (TLC) match between Hardy and Ray for the title, AJ vs. Storm and a few other major matches. This show was hyped up very well over the last few weeks and it should be awesome. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of AJ’s dilemma of which side he should pick in the war between TNA and Aces and 8’s. We also look at the other matches tonight, including Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell and Aries/Roode vs. Guerrero/Hernandez for the tag titles.

Hogan greets hardy.

We get an intro sequence which looks like opening credits.

Tag Titles: Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries

Roode and Aries are defending and if they win, Chavo and Hernandez can never team again. This is also 2/3 falls. The challengers have a boxing legend whose name I couldn’t catch here with them, carrying a Texas flag. The champions jump the challengers as they get the boxer a seat and the brawl is on fast. Roode sends Aries into the corner to dropkick Chavo, who stumbles into a a Roode spinebuster for the first fall at 35 seconds.

Aries immediately tries a Frog Splash on Chavo but only hits mat, letting Chavo hit a quick rollup to tie things up at 1:38. Aries pounds away on Chavo but it’s Roode hitting a big slam for two. A slingshot hilo by Aries keeps Chavo in trouble and a Ted DiBiase fist drop gets two. Back to Roode who escapes a tornado DDT but gets caught by a Chavo dropkick. Hernandez is nowhere to be seen though as he was sent into the steps in the pre-match attack.

Actually scratch that as he’s back up and gets the tag to clean house. A gorilla press puts Aries down and there’s the big running charge down the ramp to jump back into the ring for a double clothesline to take the champions down. We take a break and come back with Aries diving off the top onto Hernandez for two. We get a long shot of the Spanish announcers as Roode hooks a quick chinlock followed by a necksnap, setting up a middle rope elbow to the back of Hernandez’s neck by Aries.

Hernandez finally comes back with a double clothesline to put the champions down and there’s the hot tag to Chavo. He comes in with a slingshot hilo to Roode and a headscissors sends Bobby to the outside. Chavo hits a big dive onto Aries and Roode for a near fall back inside. There are two Amigos to Aries and three of them for Roode. Aries breaks up the Frog Splash and Roode gets a rollup for two. Off to the Crossface on Chavo but Hernandez breaks it up. Hernandez tries another dive but takes out Chavo by mistake.

Roode only gets two from the mistake but there’s a HARD dropkick in the corner from Aries. The spinebuster is countered into a DDT but Austin makes another save at two. Aries loads up a superplex but Hernandez pulls him off into Border Toss position. The champions have a double suplex countered and Chavo hits the Frog Splash onto Roode for the pin and the titles at 15:13.

Rating: B. As is the case with every match the new champions have, it was entertaining but it does nothing for me because they’re so ridiculously uninteresting. I was hoping for the titles to stay on Roode/Aries here, but we have to appease the Texas crowd right, because Texas is AWESOME.

Brooke Hogan shrugs off some sexual harassment from Joey Ryan and tells him he has a match tonight.

Aces and 8’s arrive and they’re actually on motorcycles for once.

Here’s Joseph Park to discuss some business. He has issues with Aces and 8’s and Bully Ray in particular. What Aces and 8’s have been doing to TNA is nothing short of felonious and just mean, so it’s time for justice to be served by Jeff Hardy tonight. Once Hardy wins the title though, it’s not over. Park is a divorce lawyer and he has drawn up a writ of annulment for Brooke and Bully which will be filed soon.

Cue D-Von who takes the paper and rips it up. If Park has a problem with Ray, he has a problem with D-Von, so stay out of family business. D-Von goes to leave but sneaks up on Park and lays him out with a chain shot to the ribs.

We get a video package on Terrell vs. Kim.

Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim

ODB is guest referee. Taryn starts fast with a suplex for two and a monkey flip puts Gail down. Kim pulls her off the middle rope and stomps away before dropping Taryn with a forearm. Gail chokes awayo n the ropes but stops to get in ODB’s face. A rollup gets two for Gail but she gets caught holding the tights. During the argument between Gail and ODB, Taryn gets a rollup of her own for the pin at 2:30.

The Gut Check judges talk about the match last week.

Magno gets the shot in the ring.

We look at AJ’s issues and him walking out on TNA.

Hogan says he’s nervous about getting the world title back but first up, it’s AJ’s time on the clock.

AJ has nothing to say to a TNA cameraman. Anderson brings him another vest.

Video on Hardy vs. Ray tonight.

Here’s Hogan to call out AJ Styles for his decision. AJ comes out and Hulk gives him an ultimatum. Styles isn’t pleased and says he doesn’t react well to demands, but here’s Storm to interrupt. James says he isn’t here to deliver ultimatums or even to drink beer. Instead it’s for a fight and they lock eyes, but here’s Bad Influence. Kaz says they’re here to mend fences and not throw fists. They see through everything going on here because they’re both sexual and intellectual.

Thunderlips (Hogan) is trying to get AJ to join TNA, which is a good idea because Aces and 8’s are destroying his company. Aces and 8’s are smart to try to recruit TNA’s best soldier of the last eleven years. Daniels says it’s a bad idea for AJ to join either, because they’ll just chew AJ up and spit him out. Therefore, AJ should join up with Bad Influence.

Daniels brings up Hogan and Dixie turning their backs on AJ and brags about all the world titles “they” won together. AJ gets annoyed and shakes a bit, but Storm gets in his face. Styles leaves the ring and looks at Bad Influence before walking away. Hogan begs again and makes Styles vs. Storm next week.

Joey Ryan vs. Rob Terry

Joey is scared to death and is immediately run over with chops and shoulder blocks. Two boots in the corner from Joey are easily blocked and it’s a powerslam to plant him down. A fireman’s carry into a spinebuster ends Ryan at 2:30. Total squash.

Brooke tells Hulk she has to be at ringside for the main event. Matt Morgan pops up and says that it’s another Hogan mistake, like not making him #1 conteder at Lockdown. Morgan says that those mistakes will keep happening and then they’ll all come crashing down on him.

It’s time for Gut Check. Danny Davis isn’t sure but eventually says no. Magno cuts a promo that is barely understandable as English isn’t his first language. Pritchard says Magno isn’t ready yet so it’s no, which ends this.

Bully Ray makes Aces and 8’s promise not to interfere tonight.

TNA World Title: Bully Ray vs. Jeff Hardy

This is Full Metal Mayhem which is TNA’s version of TLC, as in you have to climb a ladder and pull the belt down. Brooke Hogan is at ringside as well. Ray yells at his wife before the bell and Brooke looks irritated. Hardy hits a Twisting Stunner and Poetry in Motion to start and Ray is in early trouble. The challenger brings in a chair and cracks Ray over the back with it before bringing in the first ladder of the match. Jeff makes an early try for the belt but Ray tips the ladder over.

A mule kick staggers Ray but Bully backdrops Jeff onto the ramp to take over. Ray whips him in the back with the chain but Hardy still pops up to slug it out on top of the ladder. Hardy gets suplexed down off the ladder as we take a break. Back with Hardy getting off a table and blasting Ray on the ropes with a chair. Hardy turns a ladder upside down but can’t superplex Ray onto it due to high levels of fat.

Instead Ray comes back with a front suplex to crush Hardy’s ribs against the steel. Some chair shots to the legs keep Hardy in trouble and Ray brings in another ladder. The table is still set up in the ring. Ray shouts about beating up Hardy and then keeping the title then slapping Brooke around, but the distraction lets Jeff get in some shots of his own. Ray takes Hardy back down but goes to the floor to yell at Brooke for a LONG time. Brooke finally slaps him and here comes Hardy.

Jeff slams Ray into the steps and puts him on a table….which immediately breaks. Hardy goes all the way to the entrance of the arena to get a table but a Twist of Fate keeps Ray down. Jeff puts Ray on the table for a BIG Swanton to the floor and both guys are down. Hardy goes up the ladder in the ring but Taz hands Ray a hammer. Ray goes up the ladder but hits Hardy with his fist instead of the hammer. Jeff gets his hand on the belt but a hammer to the head knocks him off and through the table. Ray retains the title at 17:10.

Rating: B. Solid match here and that Swanton was great. It wasn’t as great as most of the TLC matches but at the same time, we’ve seen these guys do this so often over the years that it’s kind of hard to get new stuff out there over and over again. That being said, it was entertaining which is exactly what it needed to be.

Aces and 8’s come in to celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This did indeed feel like a PPV quality show. It does drag in the middle and we didn’t get anything with AJ other than Bad Influence being interested in him, but other than that we got everything we were supposed to get. The main event delivered and it was still a hard hitting back and forth match with some close calls by Hardy. Good, solid show overall as TNA continues to do very well with the new style.

Results

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries – Frog Splash to Roode

Taryn Terrell b. Gail Kim – Rollup

Rob Terry b. Joey Ryan – Fireman’s carry into a spinebuster

Bully Ray b. Jeff Hardy – Ray pulled down the title belt

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 




Impact – June 16, 2011 – A Lot Happens Here. Not Sure If That’s A Good Thing Though.

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 16, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re past Slammiversary now and on the way to Victory Road.  Tonight we apparently also begin the Bound For Glory Series which is a competition between 12 people that I guess we’ll hear the details of tonight.  Also we have a new world champion in the form of Mr. Anderson who has a #1 contender in the form of Kurt Angle.  Finally we also get to begin the build for the Victory Road PPV which is an X-Division themed show involving some people being brought in from the past and outside as well.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a highlight package of Slammiversary with post match soundbytes from a lot of the guys.  Jarrett says it’s over with Angle when he says it’s over.

Anderson is here with the title and what looks like a black eye.  There’s a bunch of stuff in the ring such as a basketball goal, a pinball machine, a stripper pole, some food and beer kegs.  This is his championship reception.  Anderson says he doesn’t need anyone in the back or the fans.  There are five people that are important to him: his niece, his wife, me, myself and I.

Here’s Gunner to crash the party.  He talks about how Anderson asked him for help last week and wants a title match as his reward.  Anderson thanks him but says Gunner’s services are no longer required and he wishes him the best in all of his future endeavors.  Gunner has a hick accent.  Anderson says no because there are more deserving people than Gunner.  He’s thirsty apparently and pours a beer for himself which of course goes into Gunner’s face.  Gunner puts him through the table of food to end the segment.

The Bound For Glory series is for the title shot at BFG.  That’s a nice prize.

Sting is here.

D-Von vs. Hernandez

 

This stems off a match on Xplosion where D-Von beat Anarquia and was beaten down post match, only for Pope to make the save.  Hernandez jumps him to start thanks to Sarita distracting the referee.  D-Von gets a clothesline for two and spears Hernandez coming out of the corner to keep his advantage.

D-Von has slimmed down a bit apparently.  Pope saunters out and sits next to D-Von’s family, allowing Hernandez to roll up D-Von for two.  Thesz Press by D-Von and here’s Mexican America to run in for the DQ at 1:52.  Well this was pointless.  Pope makes the save after D-Von’s sons insist he do so.  They have a weird staredown post match.

Anderson storms into Bischoff’s office and says Eric needs to control Gunner.  Eric says no because Anderson turned down Immortal awhile ago.  It’s Anderson vs. Gunner, presumably tonight.  Ah yes it’s tonight.

Kurt is here with his kids.

After the break here’s Kurt, minus his kids.  Did he leave them with Abyss in daycare or something?  Angle talks about how you don’t just put a gold medal on the line on a whim.  He says that in 1996 he trained very hard and managed to make the Olympic team and even won a gold medal to represent his country.  Angle says he wants to do it again and is trying out for the 2012 Olympic wrestling team at the age of 43.  That’s legit from what I understand.

Here’s Jarrett who says it’s not over yet.  He says this started with a handshake in Pittsburgh so let’s end this tonight.  Jeff says that the company can’t hold both of them.  He wants one more match and doesn’t care if it means leaving the country or moving to Mexico.  Well he is going to be at AAA’s biggest show of the year this weekend so there’s some truth to that.

Angle says Jeff should have more honor than this and needs to just leave.  Jeff apparently says that there was nothing going on with him and Karen and he lied so Jeff’s word means nothing.  If Jeff can get a document together by the end of the show saying he’ll go to Mexico if he loses, Kurt will see him in the parking lot tonight.  The FINAL BATTLE was four days ago right?

We’ll explain the BFG Series next.

Ok so here’s the deal.  There are 12 people in it and the winner is in the BFG Title Match.  Points can be won in any kind of match on any TNA show, including house shows.  Here’s how the scoring works:

Submission: 10 points

Pin: 7 points

Count Out: 5 points

DQ Win: 3 points

Draw: 2 points

DQ Loss: -10 points

The top four compete at an unspecified date and the winner gets the title shot at the biggest show of the year.  RVD vs. Samoa Joe is the first match tonight.

Eric Young is talking to Matt Morgan about how he needs to get ready for his TV Title match tonight.  Morgan says he needs to get ready for the BFG Series.  If any match counts for that, why not beat Young at the same time?  Anyway, Young says it has to be a TV star he faces for the TV Title.  Morgan says an executive producer here used to be on a sitcom so go find him.

Apparently there’s going to be a 12 man tournament with the winner getting a contract at the PPV.

Austin Aries vs. Kid Kash vs. Jimmy Rave

 

This is part of the aforementioned tournament apparently.  Rave has the way old Christian style see through shirt.  Aries wants a test of strength with either guy.  Next week there are going to be three new X guys apparently.  Aries is sent to the floor and Rave takes over on Kash.  Aries comes back in and that goes nowhere as Kash pulls him to the floor.  Kash tries a springboard but jumps into a spear by Rave for two.  Aries cleans house and sends them both to the floor to set up a suicide dive to take them both out.

BIG Austin Aries chant starts up as it’s pretty clear that he’s the biggest deal here.  Kash takes both guys out with a huge spinning dive.  Back in the ring Kash and Aries slug it out with Kash getting two.  Aries breaks up a Rave cover and plants him with a brainbuster to end this at 4:25.

Rating: B-. Very fast paced match here and it’s pretty clear that Aries is the best guy out there, but at the same time I’m not getting overly excited for this series.  Once a year they build up the X-Division and after that show the whole thing goes back into the regular flow of things.  The matches will certainly be fun though so there’s that to look forward to at least.

Knockout Tag Titles: Velvet Sky/Miss Tessmacher vs. Sarita/Rosita

 

Sarita and Velvet start us off.  Mexican America has been sent to the back apparently.  Velvet sends her flying and it’s off to Rosita and Tessmacher.  The challengers dominate for awhile so it’s off to Sarita again.  This is your standard Knockouts match, in that they’re nice to look at but at the same time it’s a lot of yelling and not much on the wrestling.  Tessmacher looks incredible in those little shorts but she can’t wrestle that well at all.  Everything breaks down but as the challengers want a double suplex, here’s ODB to distract Velvet.  The champs double team Tessmacher and a flip splash by Rosita gets the pin at 3:52.

Rating: D. Nothing of note at all here as the whole thing was just to set up more ODB vs. Velvet which is nothing interesting in the slightest.  The girls aren’t incredibly good in the ring but they’re trying at least.  They needed someone in there to anchor this match and it hurt things a lot.

Post match ODB and Velvet yell at each other a lot and here’s Jackie freaking Moore for the double beatdown on Velvet.  Oh joy.  The girls beat up security and Velvet for a long while until they get split up.

Jarrett signs the contract with Hogan for later and Hogan calls him the King of Kings.  Jeff leaves and Sting pops up.  On the 14th of July it’s the rematch, the show after Destination X.  Sting believes him and Hogan says there’s a history between them that no one knows about.  Sting asks if there’s a shred of the old Hogan left.  Sting rants about Hogan’s legacy in WCW and the catchphrases and Hogan’s legacy that he’s leaving for Brooke and Nick (Hulk’s kids) which sets Hogan off.

Hogan throws him out and Sting freaks out, saying he’s not ready to leave.  He goes insane, yelling at “Terry”, asking if Terry wants to wear a mask.  Sting gets the paint from last week and paints on Hulk’s face while pushing him into the corner.  Sting shouts about making the choice and we finally see Hogan with paint all over his face.  WEIRD segment to say the least.

Jackie and ODB rant about cleaning up the division and Velvet jumps ODB.  This results in the heels yelling a lot and sounding very annoying.

Austin Aries says he’s going to make the X-Division matter again.  Eric Young pops up and tries to start a TV Title match with the interviewer.  He superkicks him and gets a pin with Aries counting.  Oh it was Jason Hervey from the Wonder Years.

Bound For Glory Series: Rob Van Dam vs. Samoa Joe

 

This is billed as a dream match.  Ok then.  The bell is after a break.  Joe takes over to start but RVD reverses into a body press for two and hits the floor.  Joe catches a slingshot dives into a belly to belly for two in a solid looking spot.  RVD avoids a shot in the corner and hits a spinwheel kick to the face of Joe in the corner.  Monkey flip out of the corner doesn’t work though as Rob lands on the apron, only to get clotheslined across the top to the floor.  Suicide elbow takes RVD out again and Joe is in full control.

They change some reversals in the ring and Joe crushes Rob into the corner.  Joe’s skin is blood red for some reason.  Kick to the back of the head gets two for the Samoan.  Joe fires some LOUD chops but runs into a boot in the corner.  Rob tries a spinning cross body but Joe goes old school and just moves out of the way of it, letting Rob crash.  I love it when he does that.

Knee drop gets two and we hit a modified chinlock.  RVD fights out of it and gets a Stunner to set up a superkick.  Rolling Thunder gets two.  Joe counters a leapfrog of all things but walks into the spin kick of Van Dam’s.  Release Rock Bottom out of the corner takes Rob down again and Joe loads up the Musclebuster.  Rob blocks it so Joe tries a superplex instead.  Van Dam breaks it up and the Five Star ends this at 9:10 to give Rob seven points.

Rating: C+. I liked this actually as both guys did a decent job out there.  Once they got past the first few minutes things got going a bit better and it became a big match showdown which is what these two should be having.  Also nice to see a match get some time tonight as that’s normally a perk and it was here.

Gunner is getting medical attention from earlier and says he doesn’t like anyone.

Gunner vs. Mr. Anderson

 

Gunner has Bischoff with him but Bischoff heads to the back rather quickly.  Non-title here.  Interesting note about Anderson here as his first title match is on July 14, meaning there won’t be a world title match at Destination X.  After a brief run around outside Anderson gets that neckbreaker of his for two.  Off to the chinlock about 90 seconds in with the champion in control.  Anderson has a bit of a gut on him.

More shots to the back of the head and then Anderson just hammers away.  He slams Gunner but misses a Swanton Bomb.  Gunner fights back and gets a belly to back suplex for two.  There’s a big bandage on Gunner’s nose so I guess he got cut from the cup earlier.  Rolling fireman’s carry slam gets two for Anderson so he hammers away a bit more.  And now Anderson calls down the mic.  He announces that he’s still world champion and walks into the F5 for the pin at 8:45.

Rating: C-. Didn’t really get into this and the ending really hurt it I think.  I get that Anderson is cocky but why would he be that arrogant?  Also really not a fan of having the world champion lose in his first match.  I will give them credit for pushing some new young guys though in the form of Crimson and Gunner, so there’s certainly that.

Steiner vs. Ray next week in a BFG match.  Steiner rants about not knowing how to do anything other than beat people up.  He has no sugar for Ray and can’t play the guitar either.  This is one of those so insane it’s funny promos from Steiner.

Ray says not to crack jokes.  This match has the potential to be either the biggest trainwreck of all time or a pretty awesome brawl.

Time for the parking lot brawl with the circle of cars and wrestlers out there.  Do you win by pin I guess?  Angle takes him down with relative ease and hammers him.  This is shot like a fight instead of a match and Angle grabs an armbreaker.  Jeff fights out of it and it’s almost all Kurt so far.  Jeff sends him into a car and Ray yells him on.

Jeff says he’ll never leave TNA (again) and tells Kurt to go to train for the Olympics before hitting the Stroke on the concrete.  Angle gets up as Jeff leaves and they go at it some more.  Angle Slam onto a car and Angle chokes him with his shirt.  “Say adios Jarrett!”  Jeff is done and Angle leaves.  Ray says Jeff enver gave up.  Jarrett wakes up and says adios to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Well you certainly can’t say that they didn’t throw a lot at us here.  I really didn’t like the middle section with the girls yelling and the Sting/Hogan thing.  Not that segment didn’t grab my attention and get incredibly intense because it did, but it probably leads to Hogan vs. Sting and there’s no way that’s going to be worth seeing.  Not a huge fan of this show, but they were certainly trying which I can definitely give them point for.  The two tournaments going on at once are a stretch, but it could be more of the same I guess, which means this is a better alternative.

Results

D-Von b. Hernandez via DQ when Mexican America interfered

Austin Aries b. Jimmy Rave and Kid Kash – Brainbuster to Rave

Rosita/Sarita b. Velvet Sky/Miss Tessmacher – Flip Splash to Tessmacher

Rob Van Dam b. Samoa Joe – Five Star Frog Splash

Gunner b. Mr. Anderson – F5