I’m still in England so Raw should be up tomorrow. Use this thread to discuss whatever happens and come up with your own ways to blame the Authority for Raw sucking.
Monday Night Raw Date: July 6, 2015
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
The big story coming out of last week: product placement and lame action. The shows really aren’t lighting the world on fire right now, but a lot of that has to do with a lack of the Authority and Brock, because without the two of them, them show comes off as a glorified Smackdown. Get to the point already or get rid of the Authority as the main focus of the show because otherwise, a show without them on it isn’t going to go anywhere. Let’s get to it.
Thought of the Day: The Mice Won’t Play
And that’s not good.
Something I didn’t get around to reporting last week was that the ratings for Raw were a disaster (come on guys you can watch even though your boss is gone). Here’s the thing though: it really isn’t hard to figure out why. The problem is, and I hate to admit it, the Authority wasn’t around. WWE has pretty much made it clear that if they’re not around then Raw is basically a glorified Smackdown.
Yeah stuff might happen, but it’s either wrapped up later in the night and barely mentioned again, or completely erased by the Authority. The show has turned into everyone dancing around to entertain HHH and Stephanie as they get to ignore almost all character motivation and logic for the sake of keeping themselves looking good.
The fans know that if the Authority isn’t around, big stuff isn’t happening and they’re much better off going to bed or doing something else and checking the results later, because three hours of mediocre wrestling (and a John Cena match), uninteresting stories and Rollins trying to figure out if he’s his own man or needs to buy the rest of the team presents to save him from some big bad isn’t enough to hook you in all night. WWE can change this line of thinking pretty easily, but it’s been proven before that they’re not very interested in getting Stephanie and HHH off TV that easily and I can’t imagine it happens anytime soon.
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: June 22, 2015
Things are changing in WWE as we’ve come off the spring series of rapid fire pay per views and it’s now time to get going towards Summerslam. Lesnar is back and hunting for Rollins and the title, despite the fact that Rollins is now all alone. Let me emphasize that line, because the logic is about to go flying out the window. Let’s get to it.
The show opened with Lesnar and Heyman coming out for the big face turn interview, even though he’s been a face since the night after Wrestlemania. There wasn’t anything special here, but Brock is going to suplex Rollins a lot because Rollins is the chosen one and Brock is the Beast. He also apologized to Cole and JBL to wipe those things off the books. Yeah it’s stupid, but I’ll take that over just throwing something up on WWE.com.
Rollins’ distraction let Kane pin Dean Ambrose. Somehow their solution to Ambrose getting white hot again is to have him lose to Kane, even if there was some interference. This felt like some reason to keep Rollins vs. Ambrose going or maybe move up to the idea that Ambrose had no one helping him, but the main story is what I’ll get to at the end of this.
The Prime Time Players beat the Ascension. That’s all there really is to say here.
Sheamus beat Roman Reigns via DQ when Bray Wyatt distracted him with the idea of having a tea party with Reigns’ daughter. This was a nice power brawl but the big story here was that they kept Sheamus looking strong after his Money in the Bank win. That’s not something you often see, especially with them adding in the build to Reigns vs. Wyatt. Speaking of which, how nice is it that Wyatt has a point to all of his talking? Now if Reigns’ daughter doesn’t actually appear then it’s a big waste of time, but that could be said about so many of Wyatts’ stories.
Neville beat Kofi Kingston in another pretty nothing match. I’ve already written a column on the whole idea of having stars beat jobbers to the stars, and in short, I really hope it continues as it’s an idea that works very well.
King Barrett beat Zack Ryder in the same match that Prime Time Players and Ascension had. That’s kind of the theme tonight: short matches that really don’t change a lot.
Cena did his usual promo, but threw in some French and whatever Chinese dialect he spoke to talk about Owens being a foreign heel. Of course there’s going to be a title match at Battleground, but these two are really starting to run out of things to say to each other. Maybe, just maybe, they should have waited a little while between their matches, but that would go against the only logic and storytelling style WWE knows how to do these days.
We’re going to skip the Authority promos for now.
The Bellas beat Tamina and Naomi in a lame tag match. This felt like making the Bellas faces again, and if that’s the case, I give up on the Bellas. There’s a chance they could be interesting characters, but these constant heel/face turns are driving me insane. That being said, this might just have been a heel vs. heel match and that would make things acceptable. Not interesting mind you but acceptable.
Ryback beat Mark Henry in another theme match of the night. There’s not much to talk about here but Ryback beat up Big Show in the back post match. The key thing here though was they talks about Ryback’s parents speaking for the first time in fifteen years because he won the Intercontinental Title. Again, see the column for more details, but this was a great thing.
Dolph Ziggler beat Adam Rose and Lana is still nothing after being insanely over for a few weeks. She did however take her hair down (into a ponytail) and Summer Rae consoled Rusev because this story is still going for reasons I can’t fathom. I’m less angry about it now, but that’s because I’m resigned to how much of a waste the Rusev vs. Cena feud really was.
Now let’s get this over with. You might know that I don’t really care for the Authority because I find them to be horrible heels most of the time because it turns into a vanity project for them and Stephanie is untouchable and we must hear her take on everything from her charity of the week to the Ultimate Warrior to how John Cena is disrespecting Andre the Giant by wanting to be in his namesake battle royal because Andre the Giant was HER friend (and no, I still have no idea what the point of that was).
However, this story got on my nerves because the story makes no sense. So the Authority wanted to teach Rollins a lesson by taking away his help and making him fight on his own. They brought in Brock Lesnar and smirked at him, then suggested that he go and get the Authority back together……and then they let the team reform to fight off Lesnar, MAKING THIS ENTIRE STORY A WASTE OF TIME.
Their solution to Rollins being cocky is to take away his help. Their solution to him not having help is to give the help back. Someone explain how this makes sense to me. This whole thing continues the lack of logic behind the Authority story and serves no real reason other than to let HHH and Stephanie be the King and Queen that everyone must bow down to and ask for sage advice because how can anyone do anything on their own without those two helping? I don’t even want them gone (thought it would be nice) but at least let them be well written.
This show was fine outside of the main event stuff, which is just a badly written story with less of a plot hole and more of a few walls holding up the plot ceiling missing. The way they moved the midcard stories forward while not wasting a big match was a nice touch and overshadowed the Authority stuff, but I really need an explanation for why Kane and Mercury are helping Rollins again after the Authority made it clear that they weren’t going to be helping him.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – June 22, 2015: That’s An Interesting Idea
Monday Night Raw Date: June 22, 2015
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole
Things have started changing again in WWE with Brock Lesnar returning last week to go establish himself as the new challenger for Seth Rollins and the World Title. Other than that we still have Sheamus waiting in the rings for the title shot, which could be the case for a long time to come. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
We open with the Beast himself and Heyman gives us a recap of what got Lesnar suspended back in the spring. This includes Rollins running from a title rematch and of course shows us Stephanie ripping off Brock’s balls because Heaven forbid we forget that. In order for Lesnar to officially return, he has to apologize to Cole and JBL. Lesnar of course doesn’t seem interested in doing so but eventually shakes JBL’s hand and rubs Cole head before shoving him into his chair.
Heyman would also like to issue an apology in advance to the chosen boy Seth Rollins. Seth was the first NXT Champion (“Gee I wonder how that happened.”) and has since been heavily protected. Now we have what’s beast for business (yes beast) because Rollins has a first class ticket to Suplex City. Brock is the once and future champion and he’s taking his title back at Battleground. This felt like the face turn promo, but it wasn’t really a turn as he left as a face.
Dean Ambrose vs. Kane
As this feud continues. Kane grabs a suplex to start and punches Ambrose in the face, followed by stomping him around the ring. Kane certainly doesn’t subscribe to the concept of mixing it up. A cross body puts Kane down and Dean follows him to the floor, only to be throw right back in. Kane sidesteps a dive and throws him into the steps as we take a break.
Back with Kane putting on a chinlock followed by a running DDT for two. Ambrose finally grabs a neckbreaker but has to stop for a nap after Kane has put everyone to sleep. Kane charges into the buckle and gets low bridged to the floor. That goes nowhere so Dean hits the rebound clothesline for two but here’s Rollins for the distraction, allowing Kane to load up the chokeslam, only to have Dean escape and hit a suicide dive. Dean goes up top and gets chokeslammed back down for the pin at 11:21.
Rating: D. So Rollins is trying to get recruits onto his side before he has to fight Lesnar and we have to sit through a boring ten minute Kane match to get the point across. Kane is just so slow and repetitive that it’s hard to stay focused during the match, let alone be entertained. Also, you couldn’t have this be a countout instead of Ambrose being pinned again?
Stills of Cena vs. Owens II.
Post break Kane sees through Seth’s plan and turns it down.
Recap of Wyatt vs. Reigns.
Prime Time Players vs. Ascension
Non-title. Titus throws Konnor around to start but everything breaks down. Viktor is tossed outside as New Day is shown watching in the back. The double teaming begins in the corner as Titus is in trouble. Konnor puts on a lame chinlock and gets suplexed down for his sloppiness. Darren gets the tag and cleans house with a northern lights suplex getting two. Titus and Konnor head outside, allowing Young to hit the Gutcheck for the pin on Viktor at 4:10.
Rating: D+. This still wasn’t anything worth seeing but it’s cool to see the champions getting a win instead of just losing every few weeks and then acting like we should still be impressed because they have the belts. The match was just there, but it’s nice to see the old formula instead of the same stuff they do all the time. Also, points to Young for really starting to become a more entertaining guy in the ring. He’s still not all that interesting but at least he’s a few steps ahead of where he used to be.
Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns
Sheamus pinned Reigns on Smackdown after Wyatt interfered. They drive each other up against the ropes to start because they’re both hosses. A slam sends Sheamus outside and Reigns slugs away back inside, only to get caught with four forearms to the chest. Sheamus throws Reigns down again and we take a break. Hopefully the break gives them some rest as this show’s action has felt like it’s in slow motion so far. Back with Reigns fighting out of a chinlock and hitting a running clothesline to wake the fans up a bit.
The apron boot is countered with a clothesline in a unique spot from Sheamus. He throws Reigns back first into the barricade and now Sheamus has a target. After a quick chinlock, three straight Irish Curses are good for a near fall. The Cloverleaf goes on but Reigns is quickly in the ropes. A belly to back stuns Sheamus and Reigns throws him to the floor for a whip into the table. Reigns gets back in but Wyatt pops up on screen in the middle of a tea party. He talks to someone off camera and tells Reigns to come find him. Roman bails on the match and that’s a countout at 16:40.
Rating: C+. This got going more with the back stuff at the end to give the match a story. I like that they’re giving Sheamus some wins, which really aren’t a stretch. Yeah he’s not what he used to be, but he’s still a former multiple time World Champion and a good brawler who can step up without a big stretch. Reigns is handling himself well in these longer matches too.
The camera pans back to show that Wyatt is talking to an empty rocking chair, meaning someone might have just gotten out of it.
Post break Reigns is looking for the party and finds the room, with a high group of pictures of Reigns on the wall with the eyes cut out and ANYONE BUT YOU painted on the wall. Bray can be head singing I’m A Little Teapot.
Rollins can’t get the Stooges on his side. They remember those Dumb and Dumber comments of his.
Kofi Kingston vs. Neville
Kingston jumps over Neville a few times to start but gets pulled into a headlock to slow things down. A shot to Neville’s ribs sets up a top rope ax handle as Xavier steals a camera for some pictures. Kofi is sent to the floor and knocked off the apron, drawing New Day over to go after Neville. This brings out the Prime Time Players to even things up but all four are ejected, allowing Neville to kick him in the head and hit the Red Arrow for the pin at 4:30.
Rating: C. Neville is now getting his own showcase matches as this was just about giving Neville a TV win instead of much anything else. He’s a full on midcard guy now and it’s amazing to see how smoothly his transition has gone. Kofi will be fine because he’s Kofi Kingston and is incapable of falling from his spot on the card.
King Barrett vs. Zack Ryder
Cole says that R-Truth has been thinking he’s King since beating Barrett last week. It would actually be the night before but be glad he got it that close. Ryder starts with a flapjack and corner clothesline before quickly fighting out of a chinlock. Barrett runs away from a Broski Boot but gets taken down by a baseball slide. Back inside and Ryder gets crotched on the top, setting up the Bull Hammer for the pin at 3:21.
Rating: D+. So we officially know that Ryder is beneath Barrett on the totem pole. I know it should seem obvious, but when you’re losing back to back matches to R-Truth, how clear is it? I’m all for seeing Ryder on TV more often as he’s still a fun character who can fire up the crowd, even though he loses every time he’s out there.
Owens says he was born to be in a WWE ring and wants to hurt Cena.
Here’s Cena for the first time after his attack by Owens at Money in the Bank. He holds up the title and calls it a symbol of excellence of which he is very proud. Cena recaps their feud and talks about Owens attacking him at Money in the Bank and then laying out a defenseless musician last week. Now Owens wants a US Title shot at Battleground and Cena has a choice. He could run like Owens did, or he can fight like a champion will. The answer seems to be a yes but here’s Owens to interrupt.
Kevin has been called a lot of things over the years, ranging from overweight to out of shape, but he’s someone who gets what he wants. He wanted to beat John Cena and he did, and he wanted the NXT Title and he got it. Now Owens wants the US Title and he’s going to get it, assuming Cena agrees to the title match. Owens calls himself an evil foreigner and speaks French, but Cena says the people are indifferent to Owens (no they’re not) and speaks French and Chinese. The match is on and the champ is here.
Rollins goes to the Authority to try to get some backup but HHH tells him to find it himself. Stephanie suggests getting the band back together, but HHH thinks it might cost him the title. Seth is perplexed.
Bella Twins vs. Naomi/Tamina
The Bellas have Alicia Fox in their corner. Brie takes Naomi into the corner to start so it’s quickly off to Tamina to work over Brie early on. Naomi knocks Nikki off the corner to break up a tag attempt but Brie gets over for the hot tag, meaning the Bellas are clearly wrestling as the faces here, because WWE has no idea how to book the Bellas these days. Brie hits a middle rope dropkick to Tamina, only to walk into the Rear View. The second Rear View hits Tamina by mistake, setting up the Rack Attack for the pin on Naomi at 3:44.
Terminator Genisys clip with Roman Reigns spliced in.
Ryback vs. Mark Henry
Non-title and Big Show is on commentary. Ryback throws him down to start and takes it outside right in front of Show. Henry tosses Ryback into the barricade, much to Show’s approval. Back from a break with Ryback shrugging off a chinlock and hitting the Meat Hook, followed by a top rope splash for the pin at 6:24. Not enough shown to rate but this was another match designed to set up the big match down the line. The splash looked good too.
Show glares at Henry post match.
Tough Enough preview.
Ryback is ready for anyone in the triple threat match but the title means everything to him. His parents hadn’t spoken in 15 years but his title win brought them together, even for one night. It doesn’t matter if the entire world comes after his title, because he’ll just say feed me more. Big Show comes in and mocks Ryback’s speech but Ryback is ready to fight. Ryback actually leaves him laying, shouting that Show isn’t so big now. That was a good speech by Ryback and the details he adds are a good way to make the fans connect with him.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Adam Rose
Lana is such an afterthought since she joined Ziggler. Before the match, Rose rips on the crowd and says we don’t get real art, or true love like he and Rosa have. Adam takes his time kissing Rosa and gets dropkicked in the face as Rusev is watching in the back. The referee tells Ziggler to get off Rose in the corner, allowing Adam to take him down and drop some elbows. A sleeper goes nowhere and Ziggler drops his own elbow for two. Rose goes up top and dives into a superkick for the pin at 3:05.
Rating: D. Well the match was nothing so I want to talk about Lana some more. Remember like two months ago when she was getting some of the loudest pops of the show? Well now she’s just there and does nothing during the match because we’re destined to get the same thing from Ziggler until the end of time. Rose is good in a role like this though.
Ziggler takes Lana’s hair out of the bun and kisses her, freaking Rusev out again. He throws his crutches and falls down because of the bad ankle. Summer Rae of all people comes up and hands him a crutch.
The Authority has a meeting in the back with Noble saying he and Mercury are wise like Yoda. HHH says the Stooges know Rollins better than anyone and Stephanie wants the two of them and Kane to hear Rollins out.
Here’s Seth to try to get his backup back. He calls out Kane and the Stooges, but insists that this has nothing to do with Brock Lesnar. This is about the three of them and family. Rollins apologizes to all three of them and asks him to be part of his family again. Kane gets a special apology because he isn’t a dinosaur (Seth: “They’re extinct and you’re alive and well.”) and is Seth’s favorite WWE Superstar of all time.
They don’t seem to accept so Seth gets close to begging until Lesnar interrupts. Kane loads up the elbow pad and Lesnar jumps to the apron, but the three of them leave Seth all alone. Kane and the Stooges try to go after Lesnar but they’re easily fought off because they’re Kane and the Stooges (I knew they should have gone with Iggy), leaving Brock to bust out the Germans to a huge face reaction.
Kane breaks up the F5 with a chokeslam but it’s time for the Big Bald to take a German of his own. This time it’s a Kane chop block breaking up another F5 to Rollins, who adds a chop block of his own. They bend the knee around the post and crack it with a chair to finally have Brock in some trouble. Brock tries to fight back but Mercury comes in to leg dive him, allowing Kane to put him back down. The springboard knee to the head sets up another chokeslam, followed by a Pedigree to leave Lesnar laying as the show ends.
Overall Rating: C. I really liked the way this show was laid out for the most part. A lot of the matches were bigger names getting wins over lower level acts, which doesn’t hurt anyone involved and lets you advance stories a few more steps without blowing something big or making anyone look weak. Ascension, Ryder and Rose losing does nothing to hurt them but the people that beat them get to look successful. That’s smart, logical booking.
The rest of the show was……well it was there. It wasn’t bad or anything but this felt like a very long three hours. There are a lot of issues in WWE and to be fair to them, you can tell when they’re trying and just run out of ideas/get bogged down by the time. That’s what happened here as they really didn’t have three hours of meaningful television in them and the show would have been much better at two hours. There was enough good to carry this show though and that’s a big improvement over some of the stuff we’ve been getting in recent weeks.
Results
Kane b. Dean Ambrose – Chokeslam from the top rope
Prime Time Players b. Ascension – Gutcheck to Viktor
Sheamus b. Roman Reigns via countout
Neville b. Kofi Kingston – Red Arrow
King Barrett b. Zack Ryder – Bull Hammer
Bella Twins b. Naomi/Tamina – Rack Attack to Naomi
Ryback b. Mark Henry – Top rope splash
Dolph Ziggler b. Adam Rose – Superkick
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: June 1, 2015
We’re past Elimination Chamber (I won’t be doing a Reviewing the Review for that as I pretty much said everything I was going to say on the last podcast) and less than two weeks away from Money in the Bank, which means we already know most of the people in the ladder match because we have to get there as soon as possible. Tonight is the first part of the rushed build to the show so let’s get to it.
We open with the Authority (YAY!) to complain about Ambrose stealing the title last night but get Roman Reigns instead. A ladder match is set up for Money in the Bank with Rollins defending against Ambrose and Seth saying he doesn’t need the Authority. This would be the teenage rebellion years against Mommy and Daddy Helmsley. Stephanie went into full on evil Stephanie mode against Reigns but HHH called her off and said Reigns had to defend his Money in the Bank spot right now.
This wasn’t the worst opening segment as thankfully they kept it to the point and didn’t let Stephanie take Roman apart for a change. Ambrose vs. Rollins was set up in a hurry but you have to do that on the two week build. It’s not a bad way of getting things done but, as usual, Stephanie added nothing here.
Reigns successfully defended his spot against King Barrett because Barrett can take yet another loss right? Then he successfully defended it against Mark Henry because who cares about Henry? Then he successfully defended it against Bray Wyatt because his push is as up and down as Barrett’s. This was the old Chris Jericho Intercontinental Title marathon idea (also involving Stephanie actually) and it worked well enough. If they build up Reigns as someone who has to keep overcoming the odds, they might get people to care about him for a change.
Ryback didn’t have a match against Miz because Big Show returned and set up a title program. I can live with Big Show in this role FAR easier than in the main event, though I’m still not thrilled with seeing him. If he’s just there to put Ryback over though, everything should be fine for the most part. If Ryback can Shell Shock him, the place will come unglued. Well probably mostly glued together but there will be cracks.
Now we get the really good moment of the night as Kevin Owens came out and delivered an amazing victory speech about how he proved himself to be the better man last night as he pinned John Cena in the middle of the ring. Owens talked about his son being a John Cena fan and how last night, he defeated Super Cena in the middle of the ring because he’s a real man and role model who does everything he promises to do.
Cena came out and gave his Serious Cena speech about how Owens isn’t a real man because he got so obsessed with being a role model that he stopped acting like a man is supposed to. Cena talked about how he does things for kids, including one in the crowd wearing Cena gear and holding a sign saying “I’m beating cancer.” I’ve heard people saying this was faked or staged and it just makes me shake my head. Not everything is some concocted work people. Stop looking for things that aren’t there and enjoy a cool moment. Anyway John says he won’t give up and is ready for Money in the Bank. Outstanding.
New Day came out to talk about having Kofi winning Money in the Bank and retaining their Tag Team Titles, complete with sound effects. This led to Kofi losing to Dolph Ziggler and New Day losing a six man tag to Ziggler and the Prime Time Players, who would go on to become #1 contenders (in case that wasn’t COMPLETELY OBVIOUS ALREADY) a few days later on Smackdown.
Now we get to the stupid part of the show, as Nikki Bella successfully defended her Divas Title against Paige by seemingly turning heel yet again (assuming you considered her a full on face) by having her sister do Twin Magic with her. Yes, Brie Bella, who is mostly pale by comparison and lacking various surgical augmentations and with different color hair, is apparently still close enough to her sister’s looks that the referee couldn’t tell the difference between the two of them. I’ve heard that this was damage control from the whole “all black wrestlers look alike” backlash from Payback and that’s not the most out there theory in the world.
Sheamus beat up Orton with a chair for a DQ in a Money in the Bank preview match. I’m a fan of both guys but these two have some of the most horrible main event level chemistry I’ve seen in a long time. They can have good matches against almost anyone else but they just don’t work against each other.
Rusev said he was a broken man. My heart is the thing that’s breaking.
Neville beat Bo Dallas in a shortened version of their Elimination Chamber match.
Ambrose came out to save Reigns to end the show after the Wyatt match.
Other than Cena and Owens, this show was pretty uneventful. It’s part of the problem of setting up your major matches in the first ten minutes: after that, what else is there to do for the rest of the night? Well other than have non-twins act like twins all over again because referees are that stupid. This show was much more dull than last week, but I’ll take dull over rage inducing any day. I’m looking forward to the night after Money in the Bank so we can FINALLY get to a normal schedule again because this is starting to get old.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: May 25, 2015
Oh boy it’s this show. I’ve been putting this off for as long as I can because this show drove me up the walls, down the walls, to the grocery store and then halfway to Oklahoma. It’s very rare to find a show with two different parts that get under my skin this badly but this show managed to pull it off. Let’s get to it.
I’m going to do this one a little bit differently as there are two major pieces I’ll be spending far more of my time on. Therefore, I’ll get those out of the way and then cover the rest of the show. You can probably guess what these two major segments were (hint: I wrote a column about one of them) so we’ll start with the one that went on longer: the Dean Ambrose arrest story.
The basic idea is simple: Ambrose has until the end of the show to sign the contract for the match with Rollins on Sunday (why the Authority didn’t say “you have four seconds to get out here and sign this starting now” isn’t clear) so the Authority ran some trickerations and had Dean arrested for punching an innocent cameraman. Later in the show, it was revealed that Rollins shoved the cameraman into Dean so he wouldn’t make it back to the show in time. Naturally, with the Authority celebrating at the end of the show, Dean came back (in a police van) and signed the contract just as the show ended (complete with overrun of course).
Now let’s stop for a minute and think about this. Monday Night Raw is a wrestling show. We have to accept that a lot of really, really questionable things happen, but WWE has built a universe where it’s plausible that these things could happen. In other words, fans are willing to suspend their disbelief to accept that we’re watching crazy people do crazy things because the show has made it possible for that to happen.
Look at it from a comic book perspective. I can believe that Superman can fly because he’s an alien under a yellow sun. Those are the rules that DC comics have established and as long as they play by those rules, I can go along with them. However, if one day Superman can suddenly turn people into chickens and the justification is “well he’s an alien and has powers”, it’s unacceptable because this comes out of left field and doesn’t gel with the story of the character.
This past Monday with Dean just happening to make it out of jail on time and just happening to be there at the very end of the show to sign the contract was WWE suddenly being able to turn people into chickens. There were WAY too many coincidences and perfect timing for me to accept that this was going to be the case. It didn’t help that they were basically saying “yeah you know he’s getting back and signing” and it was just a matter of time before the big evidence showed up to save Dean.
I said this in the review but it felt like the end of any given sitcom episode. Our hero is in big trouble for doing whatever and he can’t prove his innocence, but here’s some deus ex machina to save him and give us all a happy ending while the villains are left kicking and screaming and promising to get Ambrose next time Gadget, NEXT TIME!
The word to sum it up was staged. This felt like it was designed to be completely fake and set up the whole way through instead of trying to be realistic. Look at Lucha Underground for a counter example. They have some completely over the top stories (including a man who was the spirit of a dragon and a monster killing a wrestler) but they play it totally seriously and it never fails to work. This story felt like WWE was winking at the camera the entire time and making it as clear as they could that Ambrose was going to be there at the last second to save the day, making the entire three hour story a big waste of time.
That’s the other big deal for me: what did this whole thing change? Ambrose came into the show with a title shot and left with a title shot. All that happened in between was the Authority looks bad and Rollins doesn’t really do anything else. Instead of a serious promo exchange or making me want to see the match more, the show was a big stand alone story that changed nothing and got on my nerves. It’s bad writing and bad booking and something that really didn’t need to happen.
Now on to the other stupid idea of the night: Rusev turning into a big, emotional goon instead of the brute that he’s been for over a year now. I understand the idea that he would be upset over Lana leaving him for an American, but the reaction was all wrong. Rusev should have been stomping and raving and FIGHTING ZIGGLER but instead he was asking to hold Lana’s hand and talking about all the dreams they had in Bulgaria.
As I ranted about in the column I wrote (which I know you’ve all read of course), this was missing the point of the character. Rusev is a monster and they’re trying to give him emotions. It’s all wrong for him and doesn’t fit anything that they’ve set up over the past year plus for him. It goes back to the Superman example earlier: you can’t just throw in a polar opposite set of characteristics for someone without any sort of foundation for them. Rusev getting all emotional has no background, Lana or no Lana.
Oh and now Rusev is injured and could be out for more than a month, so the last thing people are going to remember from him is the big change scene with the song from the trailer from every bad romantic comedy ever. What a great followup to the four pay per view series with Cena. But hey, at least Rusev is a more three dimensional character, because a guy named the Bulgarian Brute was just dying for a soft side right?
As for the rest of the show, Ambrose pinned Rollins in a tag match, which should have ended the show and been the main focal point of their feud that night. I’ll stop myself there.
The other major story of the night was a trio of matches between the six participants in the Elimination Chamber match for the Intercontinental Title. In addition to Truth vs. Rusev, we had Ryback beating Barrett (shocking!) and Sheamus Brogue Kicking Ziggler. This is another example of tired booking ideas that need to be replaced. Only Sheamus vs. Ziggler broke four minutes, making these matches, which really change nothing for Sunday’s match, more like a waste of time than anything else. Consolidate these into a long six man instead of three singles or have a tag match or two three ways or ANYTHING but this boring idea.
The cast of Entourage was here to fill in time, including a segment where they mentioned Ronda Rousey in front of Stephanie. That’s something of note was well: notice that a lot of the bad writing and bad structuring take place when Stephanie is back full time. We had a bunch of bad filler segments and more of her talking with proper nouns (you don’t have to say the exact name of the title, wrestlers or pay per view every ten seconds Stephanie. We’re not going to care more or start Tweeting about it because WE’RE ALREADY WATCHING THE SHOW).
Neville beat Stardust (who had a pre match staredown with Stephen Amell of Arrow, allegedly setting up a showdown at Summerslam. Seriously. To his credit though, Amell is in great shape so it could be passable) and was beaten down by Bo Dallas post match. They’re still playing up the knee injury which is fine for a quick story.
Cena’s Open Challenge speech was talking about the fans who boo him and want someone to knock him down for good. Kevin Owens has his chance on Sunday but it’s not going to happen. As usual, this was Cena owning the fans as only he can and chuckling as they think they own him.
Zack Ryder answered the challenge and had a very fun four minute match (complete with Ryder missing a 450 of all things) before Cena pinned him. This was the right call as Ryder is a Long Island guy and this was the last show in Nassau Coliseum on Long Island, which was played up a lot during the match. As usual, this was the best part of the show as Cena continues to be amazing when they just let him go out there and do his thing. Post match Owens, now in more proper gear, laid Cena out again. They better not screw this up on Sunday, but I’m sure they will.
Tamina, the bodyguard for one of the challengers for the Divas Title on Sunday, pinned the other challenger for the Divas Title on Sunday. The stupidity was flowing through this entire show.
To cap it off, let’s throw all psychology out the window and have Kane (for no apparent reason) book New Day in a 3 on 11 handicap match, because the way to get heels booed is to put them against impossible odds. This lasted less than a minute before the big brawl.
Do I need to sum this one up for you?
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Monday Night Raw – May 25, 2015: It All Comes Crashing Down
Monday Night Raw Date: May 25, 2015
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield
It’s Memorial Day and also the last Raw before Elimination Chamber. The two Chamber matches are set and we also have the World Title match ready to go, leaving just the details to be added to the matches to make things fully ready. There’s also the issue of Owens powerbombing Cena last week and standing on his US Title. Let’s get to it.
We open with the traditional salute to the veterans who have passed away serving their country. In the arena, we have a moment of silence and a ten bell salute. WWE always does a great job with these things.
Here’s the Authority in full to open things up. After a look at the ending to last week’s show, Seth talks about Ambrose coercing the Authority into giving him a title at Elimination Chamber last week. That’s not how the Authority operates because it’s not best for business. Therefore, couldn’t the Authority just take away the title match or fire Ambrose right now? Well they could and they considered it, but Rollins asked them not to.
HHH has a contract ready for Ambrose to sign so here’s Dean to the stage. Dean thinks there might be something wrong with him because he’s been having trouble sleeping lately. He’s tried counting sheep but he would rather count the times he punches Rollins in the face. It’s the closest thing to happiness he can have and that’s what he got last week. He always enjoys beating Seth up, but next time he wants it to be for the World Title.
Once he becomes the new face of the WWE, there are going to be some changes. The Stooges can go barefoot like some respectable hobbits and Kane can just wear a collar like the lapdog that he is. That leaves Rollins to drunk dial Selena Gomez like the Justin Bieber that he is.
Rollins shrugs off the Justin Bieber chants by actually defending him, saying the fans all want to be Bieber, just like Ambrose wants to be like Seth. He talks about Ambrose being a loser all his life and asks him to sign so he can lose one more time. Really good back and forth segment here with the Authority just being in the background while it happened. Ambrose comes to the ring but here’s Reigns to have his back. Stephanie gets on the mic and says Dean can sign the contract until the end of the show, but until then, it’s Reigns/Ambrose vs. Rollins/Kane right now.
Seth Rollins/Kane vs. Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns
Kane slugs Ambrose in the corner to start but Dean punches and chops up against the ropes. Off to Reigns who takes Kane down with a suplex before Rollins comes in to do the same to Ambrose. It’s quickly back to Reigns for a Samoan drop on Seth but he goes outside to chase the Stooges off, only to get caught in a chinlock back inside. A lukewarm tag brings in Ambrose for shots in the corner and a clothesline to put Seth outside, setting up the suicide dive. The good guys stand tall and we take a break.
Back with Rollins stopping a Dean comeback and getting some nice applause from the Stooges. A big time clothesline puts Rollins down and the hot tag brings in Reigns. Roman cleans house for a bit until a Kane boot puts him down. That earns him a Superman Punch and the top rope elbow from Dean for two with Rollins making the save. The springboard knee to the head gets two for Seth (that looked good) but an enziguri knocks Dean into the ropes, only to have him bounce back and grab a backslide to pin Rollins at 13:25.
Rating: C-. The wrestling was fine but it was really hard to care about this one. It’s almost the same match we’ve seen a dozen times with one or two pieces being changed without anything really changing. Ambrose getting the pin is the right idea for this match to set up Sunday, but these tag matches are almost impossible to get up for these days.
After a break, Ambrose says he’ll get the contract signed later in the night. The Stooges come up and say they have the contract but Mercury forgot it. Noble: “Well slap me upside my head and call me Sally!” Always the gentleman, Ambrose does just that and beats up the two of them before punching a cameraman by mistake. Dean looks upset by what he did to the innocent guy.
Video package on Kevin Owens’ career.
The cast of the movie Entourage arrives and don’t get much of a reaction.
Rusev vs. R-Truth
Rusev is officially Bulgarian again. Truth gets in a few shots but the Accolade wraps things up in 59 seconds.
Post match Rusev says he and Lana need to talk so please get down here. He stays in the ring waiting for her through a break asking her to come out and talk to him. Come on man. At least have a giant boom box. Lana finally comes out but won’t let Rusev hold the ropes open for her. Rusev knows she cares about him, even with all the mistakes she’s made and that he makes sure to list off.
It’s not her fault though. She’s a woman, and all women make mistakes. He talks about the dreams they had back in Bulgaria and asks her to take his hand….which she eventually does. Rusev wants to hear three magical words though: “I was wrong.” That’s too much for Lana though as she shoves his hand away and leaves, saying Rusev quit. Rusev: “YOU NEED TO KNOW YOUR PLACE WOMAN!” Lana calls him a liar and a quitter. No one earns her, especially Rusev. She leaves yet again and here’s Ziggler for another kiss.
So yeah, remember the last year plus of Rusev being a monster who beat Cena by knockout at Fast Lane? Well screw all that because we need to put him in a stupid soap opera style story because EVERYONE is a character like that who needs to have depth and emotions and all that nonsense.
HHH and Rollins come into Ambrose’s locker room and have the cameraman say that Ambrose hit him, despite thinking someone pushed him. Dean is arrested (“Yeah I’ve heard this before.”) and HHH smiles.
Post break the Stooges laugh at Ambrose as he’s taken away.
King Barrett vs. Ryback
Ryback still has bad ribs coming in. Barrett is thrown around to start and planted with an early powerslam but he rolls outside. Ryback follows but takes a hard kick to the ribs to give the King control. Back in and some kicks to the ribs followed by a middle rope elbow get two. Wasteland gets the same as Barrett wisely stays on the ribs. The Bull Hammer takes too long to set up though, allowing Ryback to hit a spinebuster and the Shell Shock for the pin at 3:56.
Rating: D+. So Barrett just spent the entire match working on the ribs and then Ryback hit his power moves like he was perfectly fine. Nothing to see here other than yet ANOTHER Barrett loss, which just keep coming and coming and coming. This was another match designed to set up the Chamber but with no time to get there because we need more stupid soap opera nonsense.
The cast of Entourage comes in to see the Authority and name drop people cameoing in their movie. They bring up Rhonda Rousey making Stephanie scream at Wrestlemania and are politely asked to leave.
Tough Enough videos.
Stardust vs. Neville
Stephen Amell of Arrow is in the front row. Neville vs. Bo Dallas is official for Sunday. Stardust goes after the bad knee to start as the announcers talk about Stardust and Amell feuding on Twitter. As Stardust puts on a half crab, Bo Dallas slowly walks to the ring to cheer for Neville. Stardust can’t hit a superplex as Neville kicks him down and nails a tornado DDT, setting up the Red Arrow (after some slaps to the bad knee to wake it up again) for the pin at 3:19.
Rating: C-. The match was nothing special, but this is the kind of match I like: a guy with a pay per view match having a bit of a sweat before beating a guy with a nice resume. We don’t get these nearly enough. It sets up the match on Sunday and keeps Neville from having to waste a big match. Good booking but not a great match.
Post match Dallas tells him to Bolieve and kicks the knee out again.
The Entourage guys hit on the Total Divas, creating a massive vortex of indifference. Zack Ryder comes up and asks them to come into his dressing room because he has an idea.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus
Cole incorrectly says the Intercontinental Title is the only title Sheamus has never held (Tag Team Titles being the other). Sheamus runs him over to start as the announcers talk about Lana and Rusev. We’re already in the chinlock with Sheamus talking a lot of trash at the same time. They head outside with Dolph ramming him into the announcers’ table, only to get kicked in the knee back inside.
A Cactus clothesline puts both guys on the floor but Sheamus powerslams him outside, drawing Lana to the stage to watch. Back from a break with Sheamus getting two off a neckbreaker but Ziggler fights up with a bunch of forearms. The Fameasser gets two and Ziggler escapes White Noise and ducks the Brogue Kick. Ziggler’s superkick gets two and here comes Rusev to the ring for a distraction, allowing Sheamus to hit the Brogue Kick for the pin at 10:20.
Rating: C. And we’re DONE with the Intercontinental Title preview matches. This is one of those ideas where WWE does one match and then just MUST do the exact same idea three times in one show with no one looking good coming out of it because none of this matters for Sunday. Decent match but my goodness this show has killed my interest.
Rusev puts on the Accolade to make Ziggler look at Lana. “KISS HIM NOW!”
It’s Open Challenge time. Fans: “JOHN CENA SUCKS!” Cena to the camera: “I guess the remix is still a popular song.” Cena says in the last ten years, the WWE Universe can be summed up in five words: “Let’s go Cena, Cena sucks.” He thanks the fans who believe in hustle, loyalty and respect but has to stop for a WE WANT RYDER chant. Those people have had his back for years and he thanks them from the bottom of his heart.
That brings him to the other group of fans, who have been begging for someone to get in this ring and knock him down. Name after name have tried to do just that but all of them have failed. Last week he met Kevin Owens, who broke the internet last week and then broke his best friend Sami Zayn in half.
Maybe that’s why the fans think Kevin Owens is the man that can put Cena down for good. This Sunday those fans that chant CENA SUCKS can instead chant FIGHT OWENS FIGHT. Owens can fight all he wants because it doesn’t mean WIN OWENS WIN. Last week Cena found out that Owens knows how to start a fight and this Sunday he’ll find out if Owens can finish one. That’s Sunday though, so let’s get to tonight. The Open Challenge starts right now.
Cena is ready and here’s the cast of Entourage. Cole: “Really?” Thankfully they’re just here to introduce the man taking the challenge.
US Title: John Cena vs. Zack Ryder
The Entourage cast is at ringside. Some early suplexes get two for Cena to start but Ryder comes back with the middle rope dropkick. Cena avoids the Broski Boot and starts his finishing sequence, only to have one of the Entourage guys get in for a distraction. A quick rollup gets two on Cena but Ryder counters the AA into a Killswitch for two. Now the Broski Boot gets two and the Rough Ryder gets the same. Zack goes up top but misses a 450 of all things, setting up the AA for the pin at 4:05.
Rating: C+. At the end of the day, it would have been cool to see Ryder get the big win to close out the building but you can’t do something like that to Cena here. Ryder looked good here and hopefully gets some more TV time out of a good performance like this. The 450 wasn’t half bad either.
Cena, Ryder and the Entourage guys get to pose in the ring for a nice moment. Cena poses on his own but turns around for a Pop Up Powerbomb from Owens, now wearing a FIGHT OWENS FIGHT shirt. Owens stomps on the US Title again for good measure.
The Authority recaps the Ambrose incident.
Now the announcers recap the Ambrose incident.
Tamina vs. Paige
Bellas are on commentary. Tamina knocks her to the floor to start and slaps on a neck crank. A quick rollup gets two for Paige followed by her three clotheslines and a dropkick. Nikki gets in a quick cheap shot though and Tamina’s Samoan drop is good for the pin at 3:52.
Rating: D-. Oh sweet goodness really? This is the best thing they can do? We’re six days before the Divas title match and the #1 contender just got pinned by the enforcer in less than four minutes. I know Tamina is Jimmy Snuka’s daughter or whatever, but that doesn’t make her the slightest bit interesting. Bad match here and even dumber booking.
Here’s the New Day to say it’s preposterous and ridiculous that they’re being persecuted for being positive. No one wants to see them lose their titles! Just ask the WWE Universe! Cue Kane to say that the Chamber is fair, but the following match isn’t quite the same.
Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/Los Matadores/Lucha Dragons/Prime Time Players/Ascension vs. New Day
10-3 handicap match and joined in progress with……never mind as all ten come in for the big beatdown and the DQ at 49 seconds. Yes, the HEELS are in a big handicap match and were put there by a heel. I guess logic and the Curb Stomp can chill together on the banned list.
We get the big brawl with the Dragons diving on most of the other people at the same time. New Day stands tall, only to have Cesaro and Kidd come in and clean house.
Preview of the preview of the Daniel Bryan documentary airing on the Network tonight.
We get a second angle of Ambrose punching the camerman (from the WWE Youtube channel because of course it is) because Rollins shoved Ambrose into him. This really doesn’t change anything as Ambrose still turned around and punched him, but this show is a sitcom instead of a wrestling show.
Here’s the Authority for the big stupid ending to this stupid, stupid show. Yeah there’s a video, yeah there’s evidence saying Ambrose is innocent (he isn’t) but there’s no time. Therefore….cue Reigns before HHH can say it’s too late. The brawl is on, Reigns gets beaten down, Ambrose shows up in the police van and wearing police gear, and the big brawl allows Ambrose to sign just in time. CUE THAT LAUGH TRACK AND END THEME SONG!!!
Overall Rating: F. Yeah it failed. I was miserable watching this show as they took a huge leap backwards from all the good stuff they had been doing in the last few weeks. Instead of the fun matches and high energy, this was ALL about the backstage stuff and in ring segments with the Authority being on screen WAY too much. Look at some of the things they were doing out there and tell me they were segments we needed to see. The Entourage guys were on TV like four times and added nothing. They certainly weren’t bad, but have them out there once and stop showing them otherwise.
On top of that…..my goodness just make Rusev into the crying Zack Ryder when Eve left him. No it won’t be that bad, but my goodness man, what in the world is the point of this stupid love triangle story? What WWE doesn’t understand is there are some people who shouldn’t be like everybody else. Yeah Rusev is a human, but he needs to be treated like a monster. Let him just be the guy that got this far and stop trying to add dimensions to him. There are some people it’s ok to mess with, but Rusev isn’t that kind of character.
Then there’s the stupid contract signing deal, which comes off like a sitcom plot: it’s some wacky situation which JUST HAPPENS to work due to some master plan coming together, but it somehow manages to all unravel just as the show goes off the air with the Authority shouting that they’ll get you next time Ambrose, NEXT TIME!!!
I was livid sitting through this show as they just completely turned off the reality and made it into the biggest TV show schtick they could. That’s not even talking about the HORRIBLE booking choices of having three Intercontinental Title preview matches that went nowhere and barely set up the Chamber whatsoever. Horrible, horrible show here and wouldn’t you know it: it’s also the first show in a long time where Stephanie was a featured player. How about that.
Results
Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns b. Seth Rollins/Kane – Backslide to Rollins
Rusev b. R-Truth – Accolade
Ryback b. King Barrett – Shell Shock
Neville b. Stardust – Red Arrow
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick
John Cena b. Zack Ryder – Attitude Adjustment
New Day b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/Los Matadores/Lucha Dragons/Ascension/Prime Time Players via DQ when all ten attacked New Day at the same time
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – May 18, 2015: Must Go Faster, Must Go Faster
Monday Night Raw Date: May 18, 2015
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole
Payback is done and that means we have less than two weeks to go before Elimination Chamber and less than four weeks to go before Money in the Bank. Rollins retained the World Title last night with help from Kane and the Stooges, meaning Kane keeps his job. Now it’s time to find out who is next for the champ so let’s get to it.
We open with the stills from last night’s main event.
Here’s the Authority to open things up. Stephanie says she knows we all missed her and the sweet sound of her voice, but don’t worry because she’s back. HHH hates to be the one that told you so, but he told you so. Rollins is still World Champion because he got the job done over all of his challengers. Therefore tonight, we’re going to be paying tribute to Rollins in something called Seth Rollins: Architect of a Dream, which will include comments from all three men that Rollins defeated last night.
This brings us to tonight, and something hidden behind them. HHH unveils the Intercontinental Title, which will be decided for the first time ever inside the Elimination Chamber. After a quick package on the Chamber, here’s Sheamus to interrupt. Why are we having this Chamber match, when this happened? We see a clip of Sheamus destroying Bryan a few weeks back and possibly putting him out of action.
Sheamus wants the title right now, but here’s Ryback to interrupt. Ryback defends Bryan by saying he’s more of a man than Sheamus will ever be by fighting to become the Intercontinental Champion. If Sheamus likes picking on little guys so much, why not try picking on the Big Guy? Stephanie says they’re both in the Chamber but they’re going to fight each other right now.
Sheamus vs. Ryback
Ryback, with bad ribs coming in, bangs on his chest to start and takes Sheamus down with a Thesz press. A powerslam gets two on Sheamus and they head outside with Ryback and the bad ribs being knocked into the barricade as we take a break. Back with the two of them slugging it out from their knees as Cole thinks Ryback insulting Stephanie told him that Ryback had bad ribs. You know, instead of the tape. Sheamus kicks him in the ribs and hits five of the ten forearms until Ryback pulls him over the ropes.
A powerbomb puts Sheamus down but Ryback can’t cover. Ryback gets two off a spinebuster but Sheamus wants to take it outside. That’s fine with Ryback as he gorilla presses him onto the table for a big bounce. After sending him into the post, Ryback takes him into the corner where Sheamus claims something in his eye. The referee breaks it up and Sheamus nails a Brogue Kick for the pin at 10:06.
Rating: C+. This was about what I was expecting as they’re both the kind of big power brawlers who can pull off this kind of a match very well. Much like last night, WWE is nailing the idea of keeping the losers strong as the referee shoving Ryback away set up the Brogue instead of anything Sheamus did on his own. That’s a nice touch and helps a lot.
Stephanie puts Kane in charge of the celebration tonight. Rollins and the Stooges come in with champagne and give Kane a glass for finally having something to celebrate. This brings in Dean Ambrose to say he’s willing to give Seth a rematch for the title at Elimination Chamber. The Authority says no and leaves with Kane saying the champion gets to decide his own fate. Dean mocks Kane for being their lapdog and asks what Paul Bearer or Undertaker would think of Kane now. That earns him a match against Bray Wyatt tonight and a glass of champagne. Dean: “You shouldn’t drink on the clock.”
Renee Young brings out Neville for a chat. She asks about Neville having to face so much adversity, which Neville says makes him feel ten feet tall. He was the longest reigning NXT Champion of all time……and here’s Bo Dallas to interrupt. Dallas says this is like a fairy tale but in Neville’s case, it’s going to be the little engine that couldn’t. Neville brings up beating Dallas to start his NXT title reign and the fight is on with Dallas going after Neville’s tweaked knee. Neville knocks him to the floor but it’s time for his match.
Neville vs. King Barrett
Dallas is on commentary and says that going after Neville’s knee was a good thing, as it will make a victory mean all the more. Neville fights out of the corner as Booker and Dallas have a battle of wits on commentary. The King starts going after the knee as we take a break. Back with a chop block getting two for Barrett but he misses a running big boot in the corner. Neville hurts his knee on a kick to the ribs and can’t hit the German suplex. The knee buckles one more time and it’s the Bull Hammer for the pin at 7:35. Cole makes sure to remind us of the pre-match attack to keep Neville looking strong.
Rating: C-. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere but it gives Neville his next feud and Dallas his first feud in the better part of ever. Taking away Neville’s ability to fly is an interesting idea as well as it’s going to make him have to show what he can do otherwise. Good storyline development in a not great match.
Post match Dallas comes in and goes after the knee again by wrapping it around the post.
Titus O’Neil has been named Celebrity Father of the Year.
Here’s Rusev for his explanation of last night but with no Lana in sight. Rusev says there is no Lana here and that he didn’t say he quit when he was ranting in Bulgarian last night. Therefore, he wants to restart the match against Cena right now. Instead he gets a leggy blonde who he told to not come out here again. Rusev isn’t just the Bulgarian brute because he’s misunderstood.
She believes in him and has believed in him every step of the way. The accent is starting to break as she speaks. Rusev calls her pathetic but she tells him enough because she just wants what’s best for the two of them. Lana couldn’t watch him in all this pain but Rusev says he doesn’t need her so get out. Lana walks away as Rusev screams at her even more.
Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt
Bray puts him down to start but misses a backsplash, allowing Dean to tie up the legs and rip at Bray’s face. Back up and Bray hits a big clothesline followed by a kick to the back and a kick to the chest. We hit the chinlock for a few seconds before Bray knocks him into the ropes. Instead of pulling him back in, Bray slides outside and pulls him from the ropes and into a suplex. Think Orton’s DDT but a suplex to the floor instead.
Back from a break with Bray kicking Ambrose down before they both head outside for a double clothesline. The fans want tables because a good wrestling match isn’t enough for them. Dean fights back with his punches and chops before tying Bray in the ropes for the running dropkick. Bray is hung over the ropes for a middle rope Fameasser for two. A low bridge sends Wyatt to the floor but he partially blocks the suicide dive.
Back in and both finishers are countered before Bray nails Dean to block the rebound lariat. Now the rebound lariat connects and Dean loads up a superplex. Bray shoves him off but the middle rope backsplash only hits mat. Dean goes up but here are the Stooges to interfere with Noble shoving Dean into Sister Abigail for the pin at 13:30.
Rating: B-. Fun brawl here which is exactly what it needed to be. Bray is starting to get his feet back under him after the waste of a loss against Undertaker at Wrestlemania. Ambrose is likely getting the title shot at Elimination Chamber, which may be repetitive but at least it’s not the Kane vs. Rollins showdown that 18 people might want to see.
Tough Enough videos. We have over a month of these things to go?
Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd
Woods is banned from ringside so it’s Kofi/Big E. here. Before the match, New Day thinks it’s unfair that they have to defend their titles against FIVE other teams inside the Elimination Chamber. Even the simple illiterate people here can understand why this is unfair. Cesaro and E. start with Cesaro being dropped out of a gorilla press, Ultimate Warrior style. That’s fine with Cesaro as he hits a delayed vertical suplex to put New Day on the floor, setting up Kidd for a hurricanrana off the apron as we take a break.
Back with Cesaro uppercutting Big E. but getting taken down in a belly to belly. Kidd comes in off the hot tag to clean house as Cole announces R-Truth, Rusev and King Barrett for the Intercontinental Title Chamber match. Kidd puts Kofi in the Sharpshooter but E. makes the save. Cesaro comes in to slug it out with E. and the match is thrown out at 5:54. Not enough of the match was shown but it was just a way to extend the feud.
Woods comes out to keep up the brawl post match but here are the Lucha Dragons, Los Matadores, Ascension and the Prime Time Players to give us our six teams. The Dragons dive on everyone not named Woods (or Sin Cara/Kalisto) and the Players beat up Woods. Cole confirms that these are the six teams for the Chamber in case it’s not clear.
It’s Open Challenge time. Cena says last night’s win can be summed up in three letters: USA. He has the honor to carry the red, white and blue into battle every night. Men like the soldiers in the crowd are the reason that make this title mean more than anything else in this company. Everyone has a shot at this title and this is our championship. It’s time to give someone a shot,
US Title: John Cena vs. Kevin Owens
Oh my. Oh my indeed. Owens is the defending NXT Champion and brings the belt with him. He congratulates Cena on his win last night before saying there’s no need for an introduction. If you don’t know who he is, then Owens just doesn’t have time for you. Owens is here to give Cena some peace of mind.
Cena may think that he injured Sami Zayn, but Owens was the one that injured him a long time ago. This Wednesday at Takeover: Unstoppable, Owens is going to finish what he started with Sami months ago. Cena isn’t cool with Owens saying the people don’t matter because there’s no WWE without them. He has some veteran advice for Owens, but Kevin says he’s been doing this longer than Cena. The difference is that he just didn’t get a break until now, so Cena doesn’t get to give him advice.
Cena warns him instead. Sami Zayn blew out his shoulder and said give me everything you got. Owens doesn’t have that fire in his eyes and he’s in way over his head right now. Cena is ready to go but Owens says he already has a prize in the NXT Title. Therefore, no match tonight but they’ll fight one day on Owens’ terms. Kevin kicks Cena in the ribs and nails the Pop Up Powerbomb before picking up both titles, only to throw the US Title down and stomp on it. Good grief how amazing do the next five or so years sound in WWE?
We look back at Bryan vacating the title last week.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Stardust
Uh…sure. Ziggler gets taken down to start so Stardust can stomp on the ribs before hitting a hard clothesline to go after the bad eye (busted open last night). Back up and a Zig Zag gives Dolph the pin at 1:28.
Post match Ziggler says his eye hurts but the loss hurts more. It’s hockey time though and chicks dig scars so here you go. Cole tells him that he’s the last entrant in the Elimination Chamber. So other than Rusev and Ryback, everyone else is a standard Intercontinental Title level guy. Great way to elevate the title.
Ziggler says he’ll go through anyone to get the title and here’s a very smiling Lana to kiss Dolph. He doesn’t seem to mind so she does it again for a big smile. Cue a livid Rusev to beat Ziggler down and stare at Lana. She slaps Rusev in the face and draws a huge LANA chant, followed by the Zig Zag from Dolph. Well so much for Lana meaning anything.
Kane glares at Adam Rose and Rosa for kissing in the back.
Luke Harper/Erick Rowan vs. Fandango/Zack Ryder
Harper headlocks Fandango to start but walks into a dropkick. They head outside with Harper kicking him in the face before handing it off to Rowan for a splash. The fans want Ryder but get a tornado DDT from Fandango to Harper, setting up the hot tag to Ryder. Zack starts to clean house but walks into a spinning Boss Man Slam, setting up the hot tag to Rowan. Luke superkicks Ryder right into a full nelson slam for the pin at 3:25.
Rating: D+. Just a way to establish that Harper and Rowan are back together to destroy people. I’m not sure why they’re not in the Chamber over, say, Los Matadores, but at least there’s a team around to destroy everyone. Nice squash here and at least they kept it short instead of keeping up the false hope.
Stephanie cuts the Bellas off in the back and does her condescending talk to Brie about her emotions over Bryan. She’s scheduled some counseling sessions for Brie over her issues, and therefore Brie isn’t allowed at ringside with Nikki.
Divas Title: Naomi vs. Nikki Bella
Naomi is challenging after pinning Nikki last night. After some big match intros, Nikki pulls her in from the apron and nails a big clothesline to send Naomi out to the floor. A suicide dive takes out Naomi and Tamina as we take a break. Back with Naomi putting on a chinlock as trainers are checking on an injured Tamina. Nikki comes back with a forearm and dropkicks, followed by a backdrop. There’s the Rack Attack but Tamina comes in with a superkick for the DQ at 6:29. Again not enough seen to rate but this wasn’t much to see.
Post match Paige comes in for the save but lays out Nikki with the Rampaige because she wants the title.
We look back at Owens laying Cena out earlier.
HHH shakes Owens’ hand. Renee comes up and asks what that was all about. Owens says the Authority liked what he did so much that they’re giving him a match against Cena at Elimination Chamber.
The cast of the Entourage movie will be here next week.
It’s time for The Architect of a Dream celebration with the Authority and Kane hosting. Stephanie introduces Rollins, flanked by the Stooges. HHH praises the champ and says everyone is going to get to praise him individually. It’s Kane up first for his usual mention of Rollins being short but he’s proud of Rollins for still being champion because Seth is best for business. Rollins: “That’s all you have to say?” Kane begrudgingly thanks Rollins for saving his job and has a video ready for Seth.
After a nice video on Seth’s days with the Authority, Noble says there’s a saying in West Virginia: cream rises to the top. It’s been an honor to protect Rollins and the most important title in WWE. Mercury is about to speak when Dean Ambrose comes out to interrupt.
Stephanie goes into her evil voice but Dean says he was busy looking for the perfect Justin Bieber outfit for Rollins. He’s here to give Seth one more chance for a match with him, as long as the title is on the line. Seth says Dean needs to go to the back of the line with Roman Reigns and Randy Orton, but Ambrose calls himself a notorious line jumper. Stephanie tells Rollins to get him so there goes the jacket and the brawl is on.
The Stooges immediately intervene but Dean cleans house. They fight to the floor with Seth being backdropped onto the announcers’ table and Dean unveiling a batch of cinder blocks. He loads up a Conchairto on the blocks but Stephanie says let Seth go and he’ll get a title match.
Dean doesn’t answer but the Stooges take the chair away from him. Ambrose easily fights them off and dives onto the Stooges and Kane before heading inside to go after Rollins. HHH saves the champ and Kane gets in a kick to Dean’s face. The chokeslam is countered but Rollins saves Kane from Dirty Deeds. A Pedigree leaves Dean laying to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. I had a good time with this show as they’re hitting the ground running to get to Elimination Chamber. Owens stole the show though as he had one of the best main roster debuts I can remember in a good while. I’m not wild on having the next pay per view so soon, but at least they’re getting us through the rushed build as fast as they can. Good show this week as they’re moving things forward for a change.
Results
Sheamus b. Ryback – Brogue Kick
King Barrett b. Neville – Bullhammer
Bray Wyatt b. Dean Ambrose – Sister Abigail
New Day vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd went to a double DQ when all four fought in the ring
Dolph Ziggler b. Stardust – Zig Zag
Luke Harper/Erick Rowan b. Fandango/Zack Ryder – Full nelson slam to Ryder
Nikki Bella b. Naomi via DQ when Tamina interfered
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Thought of the Day: I Feel My Temperature Rising (KB Babbles About Raw)
And that’s a good thing.Looking back at last night, we saw one of the things that you can’t plan but it’s the best thing in the world to have: acts are starting to get hot.
New Day is on fire right now and the fans are having a great time booing them. Cesaro/Kidd are one of the most polished teams I’ve seen in years and are giving me flashbacks to the Harts and the Bulldogs. Ambrose is exactly the spark that the main event needed. This open challenge thing is one of the most exciting parts of the show every week. Sami Zayn, the Lucha Dragons and Neville are showing what happens when NXT stars get the chance to shine. Barrett is PERFECT for the king role. Lana could be the biggest Diva in the world if she has any skill in the ring.
I really hope this doesn’t jinx it, but we could be in for one heck of a summer if WWE doesn’t screw this up. Things are getting hot in a hurry and they could knock it out of the park if they don’t do their usual.
A few things that could kill the roll:
Jobbing New Day/Cesaro/Kidd. They’re hot, the fans want to see them do their thing, and they’re all nailing it. Don’t have them be cannon fodder for one off teams like Orton and Reigns.
Don’t have Barrett lose five matches in a row and then win once to prove he’s still good. It hasn’t worked before and it won’t work now.
No more 20 minute opening promos, especially from HHH/Stephanie. That fake smugness about “we love the fans and just want what’s best for them” has been done so many times and it’s completely overdone. Just have them be evil. And don’t let Stephanie keep cutting balls off. Or at least let her get some comeuppance. HHH isn’t even that bad these days. If he keeps it relatively short he’s fine. He’s just been stuck in horrible stories.
Don’t give us Rollins vs. Kane on pay per view. Just don’t.
Keep Big Show in the midcard. The main event stuff was long, dull and didn’t work. Yeah the blowoff match was good, but in no way was it good enough to make up for how bad it was. Get Kane and Big Show out of their spots and put Sheamus/Barrett in there instead.
Last night in the Live Discussion I do every week on Raw (WrestleZone Forums. Check it out), I said something like this:
“Either Sami’s arm injury is fake or he’s the most amazing wrestler of all time.”
It seems the latter is closer to the truth as he really did jack up his shoulder during his entrance. Still though, great stuff.
If it’s not clear, I really liked Raw last night and I’m hoping it keeps going, but I have a feeling they’re going to botch it. As they almost always do.