Wrestlemania XL Night One: It Got Cold. Really Cold.

Wrestlemania XL Night One
Date: April 6, 2024
Location: Lincoln Financial Field, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Corey Graves, Michael Cole
National Anthem: Coco Jones

We have arrived. It’s time for the biggest show of the year and in this case, the main event of night one is going to have an impact on that of night two. We have Cody Rhodes/Seth Rollins teaming up with the Bloodline, with the winners determining the stipulations for Rhodes’ title shot against Roman Reigns. Other than that, Rhea Ripley defends the Raw Women’s Title against Becky Lynch. Let’s get to it.

Note that I was in the stadium for this show, sitting in the upper deck with the stage on my right.

There is a new Then, Now and Forever video, which is rather awesome looking and has a lot of blue.

Coco Jones sings the National Anthem, which is a big change from decades of America the Beautiful.

Michael Cole welcomes us to the show and talks about the main event.

The opening video talks about the greatness of Philadelphia before moving on to the greatness that is Wrestlemania. Alas no Sylvester Stallone, but we’ll have to settle for Meek Mill.

Here is HHH (er sorry: Paul “Triple H” Levesque) for the big opening. He loves this stuff and welcomes us to the show. End of appearance.

We recap Becky Lynch challenging Rhea Ripley for the Raw Women’s Title. Lynch was the biggest star in the world and needs to prove that she still has it against Ripley, who is the best in the world right now. I’ve heard worse ideas.

Raw Women’s Title: Rhea Ripley vs. Becky Lynch

Ripley is defending and is played to the ring by Motionless In White. Lynch counters this by….having strep throat. Ouch. Ripley shoves her into the corner to start but Lynch snaps the arm over the ropes to go after the previously injured wrist. They head outside for a bit, with Ripley firing off shoulders in the corner back inside. A suplex gives Ripley two and she stomps Lynch down, setting up an Eddie frog splash.

The dance takes too long though, allowing Lynch to grab a top rope armdrag. A tornado DDT plants Ripley and Lynch drapes her over the ropes for the middle rope legdrop to the back. Back in and Ripley faceplants Lynch to take over and a knee to the face gets two. Riptide is blocked though and Lynch goes for the cross armbreaker, which is….eventually broken up with three straight powerbombs.

The arm is ok enough for Ripley to kick Lynch in the face for two, setting up the exchange of strikes. Ripley misses a charge into the post and Lynch grabs the Disarm-Her in the corner. That’s reversed into the Prism Trap with a bodyscissors but Lynch stacks her up for two instead. Riptide is reversed into a release Manhandle Slam for two and Lynch is getting frustrated. Another Disarm-Her attempt is countered into the Riptide for two and now it’s Ripley’s turn to be stunned.

They go up top where Lynch grabs a superplex and floats over into the Disarm-Her. That’s countered into an electric chair and they fall over the top to the floor without breaking it up. The electric chair drop onto the floor has Lynch crashing down hard, followed by a frog splash for two back inside. Back up and they head to the top again, where Lynch’s super Manhandle Slam is blocked. Instead it’s a Riptide onto the buckle (that’s a new one) into the regular Riptide to retain the title at 17:08.

Rating: B. This felt like both a rather good match as well as an official passing of the torch. While Ripley had been the biggest star in the women’s division for a good while, she needed to beat the biggest women’s star ever to cement her status. It was a heck of a fight and Lynch certainly made it interesting, but this was about Ripley getting her big title defense and it worked well. Heck of an opener here.

Pretty Deadly preview the six team ladder match, complete with impressions of the teams. These two are always hilarious because they lean into the cheese that hard.

Tag Team Titles: Judgment Day vs. Awesome Truth vs. DIY vs. New Day vs. Austin Theory/Grayson Waller vs. New Catch Republic

Judgment Day is defending in a ladder match, with the two sets of titles hanging up in different places (that sounds splitty to me). They’re going rapid fire with the entrances for obvious reasons, but they go so fast that the Awesome Truth’s graphics are still up for New Catch Republic, with commentary mocking the production team as a result. Xavier Woods is in Consequences Creed gear, which is rather appropriate here.

It’s a big brawl to start (of course) and a bunch of people go after Priest, leaving Theory and Waller to climb a ladder each. That’s broken up as well with a bunch of people going up in a less than successful attempt. The champs come back in and wreck people until Bate torture racks Balor and a ladder for an upside down airplane spin. You know, because he can do that. The Republic goes up top on the ladder at ringside and moonsault down onto a pile of people each.

Back in and Bate goes up so Priest Razor’s Edges Dunne into the ladder for a big double crash down. Miz gets double teamed so Truth….stands on the apron and begs for the tag. Naturally Miz gets away and makes the diving tag, allowing Truth to use initiate John Cena’s finishing sequence on Balor.

The crowd counts the pin off the AA so Truth thinks he won but DIY is back in. Truth has Johnny Gargano tune up the band (because Truth thinks he’s Shawn Michaels) and it’s a superkick to Priest, setting up Ciampa’s Fairy Tale Ending. DIY and Awesome Truth decide to go after a title each but Theory and Waller make the save…and win the Smackdown Tag Team Titles at 7:31.

New Day cuts off Theory from going for the other belts before the Republic throws Waller off a ladder and through another one at ringside (Waller held onto his belt of course). DIY clean house and load up some tables at ringside (oh dear), with Truth setting up another one on another side. New Day is back in and set Ciampa on another bridged ladder, with Woods hitting the Limit Break.

Kofi goes up and Trust Falls onto a bunch of people on the floor but Theory cuts off Woods’ climb. The Republic breaks that up and the Birminghammer drops Theory again. A slingshot DDT through a table takes out Gargano and Dunne, leaving Ciampa to hit an Air Raid Crash off the ladder to plant Bate.

Truth goes up but cue JD McDonagh to pull him down and help Balor climb up. New Day isn’t having that and chairs Balor down, setting up a toss to send McDonagh through the tables. Priest comes back in to wreck New Day until Miz cuts him off. Priest chokeslams Miz down as the ladder is breaking underneath them. A fresh ladder is brought in, with Truth AA’ing Priest to the floor, leaving Truth to climb the ladder and get the belts for the win at 17:32.

Rating: C+. It was a six way tag team ladder match with twelve people involved, plus McDonagh interfering. There is only so much you’re going to be able to get out of a mess like this and they did about as well as possible. It’s a fun match with some big crashes, but the titles being split is what matters most here. I’m not sure they needed to be, but I’ll take this over two people with so many belts at once.

Olympic gold medal winning wrestler Jordan Burroughs is here.

We recap Rey Mysterio/Andrade vs. Dominik Mysterio/Santos Escobar. Rey and Escobar have been feuding since Escobar turned on him in November but Dominik got involved to teach his father a lesson again. Both of them have partners so let’s have a tag match.

Rey Mysterio/Andrade vs. Santos Escobar/Dominik Mysterio

The LWO and Legado del Fantasma are here too. Rey snaps off a headscissors to Escobar to start and it’s quickly off to Dominik. Everything breaks down in a hurry with the villains being sent outside. Andrade goes up so Rey sits on his shoulders and they dive onto the floor for a double crossbody while still being attached. Back in and Dominik breaks up the 619 before sending Rey outside again.

Escobar takes over on the floor and it’s a slingshot hilo to give Dominik two back inside. Dominik elbows him down for two more and a double basement dropkick gives Escobar the same. The seated abdominal stretch goes on as commentary talks about Carlito being unhappy with not being Andrade’s partner here. Rey Code Reds his way to freedom and the tag brings in Andrade to clean house.

Andrade’s running knees hit Dominik in the corner but he neckbreakers his way out of trouble. Rey comes in to beat up on the now legal Escobar as everything breaks down. Some Legado interference lets Escobar hit a super hurricanrana. Everyone else gets in a fight at ringside, including Wilde’s insane slingshot dive to the floor. Dominik grabs a chair but two rather large men in masks grab both the chair and Dominik, who is sent inside. Andrade takes out Dominik, leaving Rey to hit a top rope splash to pin Escobar at 11:00.

Rating: C+. I’m a little surprised that Rey beat Dominik (albeit indirectly this time) for the second year in a row but at least Andrade seems to be getting a push. Carlito might not be happy with it though and that opens up a door. If nothing else, this might be the end of Rey vs. Escobar, which is kind of a shame as Escobar felt like he had potential.

The masked men are former Philadelphia Eagles Jason Kelce and Lane Johnson.

We recap Jey Uso vs. Jimmy Uso. It’s a battle of the twins, with the two of them being so close for so long until Jimmy decided to side with the Bloodline against Jey. This included Jimmy costing Jey the World Title at Summerslam….and now the match is taking place eight months later.

Jey Uso vs. Jimmy Uso

Jey is rapped to the ring by Lil Wayne and then dives onto Jimmy to start the brawl before the bell. They get back inside for the bell and Jey hits the big dive to drop him again. Back in and a high crossbody gives Jey two but Jimmy grabs something close to a pop up Samoan drop (it doesn’t quite land). Jimmy slowly kicks him down, then does it again a few more times. The Superfly Splash misses so Jey hits a superkick of his own.

They slug it out (YEET/NO YEET) before trading jumping enziguris. An exchange of superkicks goes to Jey, with Jimmy being knocked into the corner. Jey kicks him down and loads up another big one but Jimmy begs off. Jimmy apologizes and Jey (eventually) accepts it, earning the cheap superkick from Jimmy in the process. The Superfly Splash gives Jimmy two but Jey hits a spear into his own Superfly Splash for the pin at 11:09

Rating: D. Oh yeah that didn’t work. Its a mixture of a few problems, starting with the fact that they wrestle such similar styles. You can only get so much out of that many kicks to the face and then a lame fake apology. The other problem is there was zero reason to believe Jimmy was going to win. In the time since Summerslam, Jey has turned into a solid midcard star who can be taken seriously. On the other hand, Jimmy is little more than a comedy goof most of the time.

This is a match that made sense on paper, but it needed to be a much more physical brawl and it needed to come about seven months earlier. As it is, it was a match that should have been a good brawl but instead it felt like “ok they’re having their match so they can say they did it at Wrestlemania.” This was a really bad miss and that’s a shame.

Ad for WWE Experience in Saudi Arabia. This was LOUDLY booed in the stadium.

We recap the Kabuki Warriors vs. Naomi/Bianca Belair/Jade Cargill, which is pretty much “these three women are amazing together” and Damage CTRL are little more than designated victims.

Naomi/Bianca Belair/Jade Cargill vs. Damage CTRL

Damage CTRL have a bunch of Japanese women dancing before their entrance, while the other three all step off a scissor lift for individual entrances. This includes Cargill, who has hacked off a lot of her hair. Naomi sends Asuka into the corner to start but gets caught by Sane, who sends her outside. The top rope elbow to the floor hits a standing Naomi and it’s back inside so Asuka can hit Naomi in the face a few times.

Naomi kicks her way to freedom and hands it off to Belair as they’re saving Cargill for the big moment. Belair grabs a vertical suplex while marching around the ring, because of course she can do that. A handspring moonsault hits all three villains for two but Kai cuts off the tag to Cargill.

The running knee gives Asuka two on Belair but she’s right back up to hand it off to Cargill for the big reaction. House is quickly cleaned and an over the shoulder piledriver plants Sane. Everything breaks down and Belair hits the hair whip on Asuka (you could hear that crack at the top of the stadium and my goodness it’s amazing). The KOD drops Asuka and Jaded finishes Kai at 8:05.

Rating: C+. The match was never in doubt and they did this exactly as they should have. This was 100% about Jade getting the big tag at the end and cleaning house to win, which they nailed to perfection. They didn’t risk her doing anything dumb or having the chance to get exposed, making this about as well done as it could have been. Perfect presentation, good enough match.

Post match the winners get the big hero pose and that is something WWE is going to want to push for a good while.

We recap Gunther vs. Sami Zayn for the former’s Intercontinental Title. Gunther is pretty much the most dominant champion of all time and Zayn isn’t sure if he still has it. Chad Gable has given him a heck of a pep talk and training to help him believe in himself, as Zayn is still worried about failing again. Now Zayn is fired up and that’s a threat to Gunther and the title.

Zayn is in the back with his wife and son, the latter of whom believes he can do it. His family leaves and Chad Gable comes in to say he believes in Zayn too, but Zayn is on his own tonight. Oh and he owes Gable a favor later. Zayn does the long walk towards the ring and runs into Kevin Owens, who gives him a big hug. Just play the Rocky theme already. Or one of the catchiest themes in wrestling history.

Intercontinental Title: Sami Zayn vs. Gunther

Gunther is defending and Zayn’s wife is in the front row. Commentary is all over with the Rocky references, even saying that Zayn fights great but Gunther is a great fighter. Zayn ducks an early chop and strikes away but gets caught with a German suplex. A big boot drops Zayn again and Gunther lays him on top for the boot choke. Back up and Gunther fires off the chops but Zayn unloads with rights and lefts.

A half and half suplex drops Gunther but he’s back up with a big clothesline. It’s to early for the powerbomb though and Zayn grabs the tornado DDT. The Blue Thunder Bomb is countered and Gunther pulls him into the sleeper in the middle of the ring. With Zayn getting close to the ropes, Gunther drops him with a German suplex. Zayn manages the exploder into the corner but Gunther dropkicks him into the corner.

The powerbomb gives Gunther two and now he’s looking frustrated. Gunther clotheslines him hard again and hits two more powerbombs for two, meaning it’s time to yell at Zayn’s wife. Another powerbomb puts Zayn down and it’s a top rope splash to make it worse. Gunther does it again and still won’t cover, instead yelling at Zayn’s wife again. That’s somehow enough to wake Zayn up so Gunther goes up top again, allowing Zayn to hit a Helluva Kick. The brainbuster onto the buckle sets up a pair of Helluva Kicks to give Zayn the pin and the title in the big upset at 15:05.

Rating: A-. Maybe it’s that I’m a big Rocky fan but they nailed every bit of this. Gunther had been the unstoppable monster for so long and Zayn is about as perfect of an underdog as you can get in today’s wrestling. It was a great story, a heck of a match and an incredible moment when Zayn FINALLY beat Gunther. After such a long reign, Gunther is going to be just fine as he moves up to the main event scene. This was about as perfect as it could have been and I loved it quite a bit.

Here’s a four minute video on how great Wrestlemania really is. I kept waiting for this to go somewhere and it just didn’t.

Pat McAfee recaps the ending of the Rey Mysterio match earlier, complete with telestrator.

Adam Pearce and Nick Aldis thank the fans for the attendance of 72,543.

Celebrities are here.

Wrestlemania Sunday rundown.

We recap the Rock/Roman Reigns vs. Cody Rhodes/Seth Rollins. Rock has returned and joined forces with Reigns as we have something of a Rhodes vs. Anoa’i Family war, plus the combined efforts to dethrone Reigns at any cost. Rock has made it very personal with Cody, even bringing Cody’s mother into things. The deal here is that while Cody has a shot against Reigns set, the stipulations will be set in the tag match. If the Bloodline wins, it’s anything goes tomorrow, but if Cody/Rollins win, it will be a normal match with the Bloodline barred from ringside.

The Rock/Roman Reigns vs. Cody Rhodes/Seth Rollins

The entrances are incredibly long, with Rollins wearing something that could be described as clothes and Rock having a theme of reaching his final form and walking through a flaming Brahma Bull logo (while carrying the People’s Title which was given to him at the Hall Of Fame). From the start of the recaps to the opening bell (including Big Match Intros): about 25 minutes.

The bell rings and the four of them stare at each other for about a minute and a half until Reigns and Rollins start things off, with the first contact coming over two and a half minutes in. Reigns powers him down without much trouble but Rollins kicks him in the ribs. Cody comes in for some jabs which don’t get him very far. Rollins tags himself back in and NOW Rock wants in. The slow, dramatic tag does in fact bring him in and the fans are rather pleased with Rock.

Rollins gets shoved down again and hammers away, setting up the running clothesline out of the corner. It’s off to Cody and the fans are behind Rock again. They fight over a lockup and don’t get very far until Rhodes takes him into the corner and strikes away. Some double teaming has Rock in trouble as commentary talks about whether or not the Rock needed to save WWE.

All four get in for another showdown and now it’s time to go outside for a brawl. Rock tells the referee that he’s fired if he counts while they’re on the floor before brawling with Rollins in the crowd. Cody and Reigns fight up to the stage where a suplex drops Reigns again. Rock spits some water in Rollins’ face and Cody is thrown off the ramp (not that far mind you) for a crash. Rollins sends Rock back inside but Reigns takes out Rollins’ knee to turn things around.

Back in and Rock starts going after the bad knee before it’s Reigns coming in to kick at the knee as well. A half crab stays on the knee, followed by a whip into the steps on the floor. They go back inside where Rollins is whipped hard into the buckle, allowing Reigns to fire off the hard clotheslines. The Superman Punch is countered into a neckbreaker but Rock isn’t about to let the tag go through that quickly.

A low blow hits Rollins, with the referee having to apologize to Cody for not being able to do anything about it. Rollins fights back again and sends Reigns outside…where Reigns can cut off the diving tag attempt. Rock grabs the eternally awful Sharpshooter so Cody comes in with the big slap for the break. Rollins hits a superkick and a Stomp but can’t follow up because of the knee.

The tag brings in Cody a few seconds later and house is quickly cleaned. There’s the powerslam into the Disaster Kick to put Reigns down and the Cody Cutter gets two. Another Disaster Kick is countered with the Superman Punch and Reigns is not happy about his nose being cut. The spear misses and a top rope Cody Cutter…is more like a top rope elbow to the jaw instead.

Either way it puts Reigns down for a frog splash to give Rollins two. Rollins’ stomp is countered with a powerbomb for two but Cody is back in for the superkick party. The Stomp into Cross Rhodes gets two with Rock pulling the referee out. A low blow into the spear gives Reigns two on Cody and Rock is ticked. Reigns grabs the guillotine and Rock even holds Cody’s legs down until Rollins is back in with a stomp for the save.

Rock sends Rollins outside and gets the tag (because we need tags again) before bringing out the MAMA RHODES belt. Said Mama Rhodes (at ringside) yells at Rock but Cody knocks the belt away. The Bionic Elbow connects with Rock, who is right back with the spinebuster. The People’s Elbow is countered with the Cody Cutter, only to have Reigns break up Cross Rhodes.

Back up and Reigns’ spear hits Rock by mistake, setting up stereo Pedigrees for two. Rollins dives onto Reigns outside and the other two load up the announcers’ table. Rock gets the better of things and loads up a Rock Bottom but Rollins grabs Cody’s leg, meaning Cody can hit a Rock Bottom through the table. Reigns spears Rollins through the barricade and everyone is down.

It’s Reigns back up with the apron boot to Cody but Cody slugs his way to Cross Rhodes. Another Cross Rhodes connects but Rock hits him in the back with the weightlifting belt. A spear from Reigns sets up the Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow to give Rock the pin at 44:33(!). Cole: “Cody is screwed.”

Rating: C+. The match was good but e pluribus gads they went way too long. This is a match where you could cut out probably close to twenty minutes without missing much. The first twenty minutes barely had anything going on and then they went into the long heat segment on Rollins. Things picked way up near the end though and they did the right ending, but after a long show with the cold, this match felt WAY longer than it needed to be. What matters though is setting up Cody’s darkest hour as he is up against the wall and might need to assemble the Avengers (perhaps with some outside help) to FINALLY beat Reigns.

The winners celebrate and Cody/Rollins know they’re in trouble.

The big highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: B-. This is going to be a show where the experience of watching it live is going to be very different than watching it at home. The cold weather was a major factor in this as I spent most of the show trying to stay warm and that makes the show a lot less fun to watch. As for the show itself, you had a good opener, a heck of an Intercontinental Title match and the big epic main event but the rest of the show was lacking in quality. Only the Usos match was bad (and a lot of that was due to how we got here) but it certainly wasn’t a top level Wrestlemania. Overall, pretty good with some great high points, though it wasn’t able to get over the hump.

Results
Rhea Ripley b. Becky Lynch – Riptide
Austin Theory/Grayson Waller and Awesome Truth won the six way tag team ladder match
Rey Mysterio/Andrade b. Dominik Mysterio/Santos Escobar – Frog splash to Escobar
Jey Uso b. Jimmy Uso – Superfly Splash
Jade Cargill/Bianca Belair/Naomi b. Damage CTRL – Jaded to Kai
Sami Zayn b. Gunther – Helluva Kick
The Rock/Roman Reigns b. Cody Rhodes/Seth Rollins – People’s Elbow to Rhodes

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Monday Night Raw – March 25, 2024: When Wrestling Doesn’t Matter

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 25, 2024
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We are less than two weeks away from Wrestlemania and that means things are mostly together for the show. In this case though we have a special attraction as Chicago’s own CM Punk is here for a special appearance. Other than that, we might even get something else added to Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Cody Rhodes going face to face with Roman Reigns but both of them had backup, leading to a standoff to end the show.

Here is Cody Rhodes to get things going. Rhodes talks about how we are in that weird place before Wrestlemania and that means all the talk is done. After a quick hello to Pat McAfee and Michael Cole, Rhodes talks about his meting with Reigns on Smackdown. The thing is, when Rhodes makes a promise, he tends to keep it. The other night a fan asked him to be the best man at his wedding so he’s going to do it, and pay for the bachelor party. He’s going to a five year old’s birthday and he’s sending the Wrestling Club to Wrestlemania (both nights).

Rhodes is here because the champ isn’t and he is going to Wrestlemania because he won the Royal Rumble twice in a row. After last year, he knows he can’t do it alone and asks the fans if they will ride with him. If Rhodes is going to point at the sign, he wants everyone to do it with him…and here is the Rock (unadvertised) to interrupt.

The fans are rather impressed and we get a rather long staredown. The CM PUNK chants start up and Rock puts his hands behind his back. He leans in and whispers something to Rhodes before getting out of the ring and heading up the aisle. Cody seems very confused and we take a break. Rock didn’t say a word that we could hear. That’s an interesting way to go and there is a very good chance we’ll get more on this later, either tonight or on Smackdown.

Post break Rock is asked what he said to Rhodes. Rock says go ask him.

Judgment Day is tired of Dominik Mysterio and JD McDonagh not carrying their weight but Damian Priest has a plan to get an advantage at Wrestlemania.

Ricochet vs. JD McDonagh

Dominik Mysterio is here with McDonagh. Ricochet wastes no time in kicking him outside, setting up the early dive as we take a break. Back with McDonagh sending him hard into the corner and grabbing a waistlock. The standing moonsault misses though and Ricochet hits an elbow for the double knockdown. Ricochet is back up with the springboard clothesline and a standing shooting star gets two. McDonagh manages a Spanish Fly for two of his own and he takes Ricochet up top, only to get super poisonranaed back down.

The Recoil connects but Dominik puts a foot on the rope. Ricochet’s springboard 450 hits raised knees though and we take a break. Back with McDonagh getting two off a sitout powerbomb and tries the Devlin Slide, which is reversed into a Canadian Destroyer (McAfee LOSES IT over that). Dominik offers another distraction and gets ejected, leaving Ricochet to hit the shooting star press on a standing McDonagh (dang) for the pin at 14:20.

Rating: B-. The Ricochet reheating continues and that is not the worst thing. There is always a place for someone who can fly as well as he can and it was a great showcase. At the same time, Judgment Day is having some trouble and it is not likely going to go well for McDonagh and Mysterio. For now though, nice match, with Ricochet doing some insane stuff, including that finish.

Here is CM Punk and yeah the fans seem to remember him. Punk talks about how glad he is to be here and to answer some questions, yes he is going to be at Wrestlemania. No his elbow isn’t great yet but his mouth works. He wishes Wrestlemania was here in Chicago (“Hint hint.”) and wonders about some roles he could have at Wrestlemania. Punk talks to Pat McAfee and says he isn’t a daily listener (Punk: “I listen to the Experience and the Drive Thru.”) but Roman Reigns was a guest on McAfee’s show.

Punk knows he’ll see Reigns one day, along with Seth Rollins (who wears high heels and is now taller than Punk) and the Rock, who hasn’t said a word to him since he’s been back. Then there is Drew McIntyre, who Punk wants out here like a man. Cue McIntyre (Punk demands his song be turned off) and Punk wants him in the ring. McIntyre calls this divine intervention and brings up the “INJURE CM PUNK” line on his shirt.

Punk says he’s never had to put another man’s name on a shirt to sell it. That makes McIntyre take the shirt off, revealing the CM Punk grave shirt instead. McIntyre: “For someone who is all about straightedge and doesn’t drink or do drugs, you spend a lot of time in rehab.” McIntyre says he went into the Elimination Chamber and got hurt but thinking about Punk inspired him to win. Punk says come in here and say that to his good ear. He even lays down so McIntyre can get in but McIntyre sits down on the announcers’ table (McIntyre: “Don’t shoot up my kilt you perv.”) and says he was the chosen one.

Punk wants to know who chose him, though McIntyre moves on and offers him the spot as guest commentator when he wins the World Heavyweight Championship. Cue Seth Rollins to interrupt and he immediately has the staredown with Punk. Rollins says this is his show, but Punk says this is his city. We get a quick poll about Punk being on commentary at Wrestlemania but the fans want him to be a referee.

Rollins points at the bad arm and says that’s Punk’s counting arm. Punk drops to the mat and counts three with his good (left) arm, though he doesn’t think he could be fair with these two “dips****.” McIntyre: “PG brother.” Rollins: “You want to know what I think Punk?” Punk: “Nope.” Rollins finds that appropriate because he doesn’t think anything of Punk, which is funny because he doesn’t need Punk to have a moment at Wrestlemania.

The way things are going for Punk, this is the closest he’s coming to being a World Champion again, so Rollins needs Punk to stay out of his way. Punk is in for commentary, because he’s the only thing that could make these two interesting. He goes to leave but McIntyre says cut the music because Punk doesn’t get the last word since he’s not even in the match. McIntyre rants about Punk but gets kicked by Rollins, setting up the Stomp to wrap it up.

This was OUTSTANDING stuff as you had McIntyre and Punk throwing one bomb after another at each other and being really entertaining. Then Rollins came in and while it fit, it really illustrated how much of a third wheel he feels like in this story. While that’s better than being the fourth wheel in the Cody vs. Rock/Reigns story, he is pretty much only here because Punk can’t wrestle. Thankfully this was more serious Rollins, but he was in over his head with these two.

The best thing about this is it felt like the three of them were given minimal instructions on what to say and just filled in the gaps themselves. That often makes for the best segments, as you had people who know how to talk doing so very well and making me want to see whatever they do next. Punk is about two months into rehab as well and his feuds with both are still hot, so they’ve already survived a lot of the gap of Punk being on the shelf. Heck of a segment here.

Shinsuke Nakamura is ready for Jey Uso.

Ivy Nile vs. Candice LeRae

Maxxine Dupri and Indi Hartwell are at ringside. Nile starts fast and hammers away but Candice is back up to send her outside. Hold on though as Candice is holding her knee, seemingly for Hartwell to cheat…but she doesn’t. Instead Nile charges back in and gets rolled up (with feet on the ropes) to give Candice the pin at 1:54.

New Day and DIY argue over how dumb their names are. Awesome Truth comes in to say the match will be awesome, though R-Truth thinks this is New Day vs. DX. Oh and he thinks Pat McAfee is JBL.

New Day vs. DIY

Awesome Truth is on commentary. Kofi and Ciampa go to the mat to start but Gargano is in with a clothesline. R-Truth is happy to see Shawn Michaels in there (just go with it) as Gargano is taken into the corner for the Unicorn Stampede. Gargano is sent outside and we take a break. Back with Ciampa hitting running corner clotheslines, setting up some running kicks to Kofi in the corner. Gargano hits a suicide dive but cue Judgment Day for the DQ at 6:26. Not enough shown to rate but they were just warming up anyway.

Post match the beatdown is on with Truth going nuts on commentary, even as Miz gets in and is taken out. Judgment Day surrounds Truth (who insists we go to a break) and beats him down as well, leaving the champs to stand tall.

Cody Rhodes won’t repeat what Rock said but will say it was a promise Rock can’t keep.

Gunther isn’t worried about what Sami Zayn said last week because they were empty words. We are in Chicago tonight and the people here don’t believe Sami can beat him. Sami can’t beat Bronson Reed tonight either.

Andrade vs. Givanni Vinci

Vinci wastes no time in sending him into the ropes but Andrade chills in the ropes. Andrade knocks him outside for the moonsault, followed by the double moonsault for two back inside. A running boot staggers Vinci but he runs Andrade over as we take a break. We come back with Andrade grabbing some dragon screw legwhips and the running knees in the corner get two. Vinci hits a heck of a clothesline but Andrade elbows him in the head. A lifting double underhook swinging suplex (The Message) finishes for Andrade at 7:10.

Rating: C+. They didn’t have much time to go anywhere here and the break didn’t make it any better. As is always the case, there is little that can be done when a match barely breaks seven minutes and about half of that is spent in commercial. Andrade still needs something to do, but winning matches is always a good start.

Here is Rhea Ripley, with Dominik Mysterio, for a chat. She wants more attention and feels that Becky Lynch is fighting everyone else and not paying attention to her. Ripley could have gotten Lynch’s attention by attacking her during a match but instead Ripley is being respectful. We’re so close to Wrestlemania and Lynch should be paying more attention, so here is Lynch to interrupt.

Lynch talks about how she is here when Ripley is fresh rather than waiting for her to finish a twenty minute match. She couldn’t do that, mainly because Ripley never wrestles on Raw anyway. Ripley doesn’t need to wrestle before the biggest match of her career because all she has to do is post a video online and these freaks will eat it up. Lynch says they have different interpretations of what it means to be a champion.

To Lynch, it’s all about working hard to be the best and the long game is about skill, merit and survival. It’s about being able to fight back when the chips are down and you’re not the chosen one anymore. At Wrestlemania, she is going to give Ripley a new experience. Ripley gets that Lynch is a survivor who has been through everything, but Lynch is really a cockroach: hard to kill but not impossible.

Ripley wants Lynch to survive just enough though, so she can sit on her couch with her daughter and call Ripley Mami. Lynch calls that Ripley’s one pass to mention her daughter and goes into a rather serious rant about how she regrets her father not getting to meet her daughter. It might be a joke to Ripley but it is not a joke to her. There is no going back and at Wrestlemania, neither of them will ever be the same again.

We get the staredown but Ripley backs off. Dominik gets between then so Lynch drops him, meaning the fight with Ripley is on. Ripley kicks her down and sends Lynch into the post and goes to check on Dominik. Lynch dives off the steps onto both of them until Dominik tries to break it up. That goes as well as can be expected until referees get in there to hold them apart.

This was the segment that the match needed as Ripley has been getting so over with the fans as of late that they needed something to even the odds a bit. Having Ripley out there with Dominik is always going to make the fans think less of her, but bringing up Lynch’s daughter was the clincher. The key here was they are turning Lynch back into The Man, and that version of her is a threat to Ripley. While Ripley is the bigger deal right now, a fired up Lynch is one of the scariest things in WWE and that could make for a heck of a showdown.

Chad Gable comes up to Sami Zayn and tries to apologize for last week but Sami doesn’t need to hear it. No one believes he can beat Gunther so tonight he’ll go beat Bronson Reed. Gable says don’t worry about Gunther tonight because Reed will take him out. Sami needs to focus, which Sami says is right. He appreciates what Gable said and they shake hands.

Sami Zayn vs. Bronson Reed

Reed runs him over with a shoulder to start but Sami sends his charge out to the floor. The big flip dive takes Reed down again but a high crossbody is pulled out of the air back inside. Reed runs him over again and hits a heck of a chop in the corner to send Sami outside. The running shoulder off the apron hits Sami again and we take a break.

Back with Sami fighting out of a chinlock and managing to knock Reed down for a change. Cue Gunther for a distraction though, which makes Sami think he can Blue Thunder Bomb Reed. For some reason Sami tries a slam, earning that crushing from Reed. Sami manages a tornado DDT but stops to look at Gunther, meaning the Helluva Kick misses. The Tsunami finishes for Reed at 9:31.

Rating: C. This was more storytelling than wrestling and that is not a bad thing. What matters here is Gunther getting into Sami’s head before their title match at Wrestlemania, where Sami will hopefully be able to remain focused and get everything together. I’m not sure if he’s going to win the title, but they’re telling a nice story on the way there.

Jey Uso is fired up (shocking I know) about facing Shinsuke Nakamura. The Bloodline pops in and Jimmy Uso says “no yeet”.

Chad Gable comes up to Sami Zayn in the back, where Sami is ranting about how Gunther is in his head. Gable says Sami needs a different approach to Wrestlemania and if Sami wants to do that, they can talk.

We look back at the Rock/Cody Rhodes segment.

Seth Rollins comes up to Jey Uso, saying something doesn’t feel right. He has Jey’s back tonight.

Jey Uso vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Jey knocks him to the floor to start but the suicide dive is cut off by a boot to the head. Back in and Jey is sent into the post, setting up some running knees to put Jey on the floor as we take a break. We come back with Jey slugging away and hitting an enziguri but getting caught with the sliding German suplex. Nakamura shrugs off a superkick and hits a running knee…and we have the Bloodline. Cody Rhodes and Jey Uso run in to cut them off but here is Drew McIntyre to jump Rollins. Everyone else brawls off and a superkick into the spear finishes for Uso at 7:34.

Rating: C+. The match itself was little more than a backdrop for everything taking place at ringside and in this case that’s ok. Jey gets another win on the way to Wrestlemania while Nakamura….geez remember when he was main eventing a pay per view about six months ago? You would think there might be some more value for him than this, though I’m not sure what that would be.

We cut to the back where Rhodes is brawling with the Bloodline when the Rock comes in to jump him. Rock hits him with a trashcan to the head and empties a toolbox onto him before they go outside into the rain. Rock kicks him around and shouts at Rhodes to get up because Rock is the Final Boss. He shouts at the people to look at his hero and yells at Mama Rhodes before throwing Cody into the side of his own bus.

Rock talks to the camera and says it didn’t have to be like this. All of this is happening because of Rhodes, who is busted open as Rock sends him into the bus door again. Rock pulls off a weight belt with MAMA RHODES written on it and rubs the blood onto it, saying Cody is going to learn about hard times at Wrestlemania. He tells Mama Rhodes to look at her son one more time to end the show.

There’s a reason the Rock is the kind of legend that he has become. You can take away the Hollywood stuff and the catchphrases and all those other things. Underneath it all, the Rock knows how to be a wrestler and a wrestling personality. This was an old school beatdown that is going to make Rhodes fight back and FINALLY slay the beast that is Roman Reigns before very possibly getting his hands on the Rock one on one later this year. It’s a case of the night being the darkest before the dawn, with the dawn seeming likely for Philadelphia. Awesome segment here, with Rock turning serious when he needs to.

Overall Rating: A-. Yes, I’m aware that none of the matches came close to that high of a rating and I would hope that you get that the in-ring part of this show was the least important aspect. This show was ALL about making the big matches at Wrestlemania feel like must see events and that worked in spades. I want to see McIntyre vs. Rollins, Cody vs. the Bloodline and Ripley vs. Lynch a heck of a lot more than I did coming into this week. That was the point of this Raw and WWE turned the volume way up the whole night through. Excellent show this week as the wrestling was the stuff in between the important parts.

Results
Ricochet b. JD McDonagh – Shooting star press
Candice LeRae b. Ivy Nile – Rollup with feet on the ropes
New Day vs. DIY went to a no contest when Judgment Day interfered
Andrade b. Giovanni Vinci – The Message
Bronson Reed b. Sami Zayn – Tsunami
Jey Uso b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Monday Night Raw – March 18, 2024: The Talking Time

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 18, 2024
Location: PNC Center, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We are less than three weeks away from Wrestlemania and that means things are mostly set in stone. However, we still need some teams for the big ladder match as well as possibly one or two more matches. Odds are we’ll get something more from Cody Rhodes/Seth Rollins vs. the Bloodline as well so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Jey Uso to get things going and he wastes no time in calling out Jimmy. Much like his brother, Jimmy (with Solo Sikoa) wastes no time in coming to the ring as well. Jey says he knows they have bad blood but he misses his brother. He misses being with his brother and asks him to come back but Jimmy says it was Jey’s idea to leave the Bloodline.

It was Jey going off on his own to be a success and he even won a Tag Team Title without his brother! The biggest moment in Jey’s career is because of Jimmy, but Jey disagrees. The biggest moment of his career will be at Wrestlemania when he knocks the yeet out of Jimmy. That’s enough to bring Sikoa in for the beatdown but Cody Rhodes runs in for the save. That probably sets up the main event but Jey vs. Jimmy needed some attention of its own.

Video on Becky Lynch vs. Nia Jax.

Adam Pearce calls someone (presumably Nick Aldis) to yell about the Bloodline being here but Paul Heyman interrupts. The Bloodline’s actions weren’t authorized by Roman Reigns or the Rock but Jimmy Uso and Solo Sikoa are gone for the night. Heyman has official business here tonight though and it will catch everyone off guard.

Wrestlemania Tag Team Titles Qualifying Match: DIY vs. Creed Brothers

Dang I had almost forgotten the Creeds were around. The winners go straight to Wrestlemania, unlike Smackdown which is a mini tournament. Julius wrestles Ciampa down to start and then does it again without much trouble. A fireman’s carry takeover puts Ciampa on the mat again and it’s off to Brutus to work on the arm. Back up and Gargano comes in off a blind tag though and DIY sends them outside for the stereo dives. DIY applauds themselves and we take a break, coming back with Brutus getting the tag to clean house.

Brutus rolls Ciampa up and northern lights suplexes Gargano at the same time for a double near fall. Despite being down on his knees, Julius picks up Ciampa for a suplex, going from mat to knees in a crazy athletic display. The standing moonsault gives Julius two, leaving Brutus to knock Ciampa outside. Brutus sends him over the announcers’ table and we take another break.

Back again with Ciampa hitting much needed reverse DDT, allowing the hot tag back to Gargano. Everything breaks down, leaving Ciampa to hit a super White Noise for two on Julius. They slug it out until Julius barrels through him and puts on the ankle lock. Gargano tries to make the save and gets powerbombed for his efforts.

Brutus comes in to make it stereo ankle locks but they’re reversed into a Sicilian Stretch and the Gargano Escape. Those are both broken up and the Creeds throw them into each other, setting up back to back moonsaults for two on Ciampa. The Brutus Ball misses though and Gargano superkicks Julius into a rollup to give Ciampa the pin at 17:37.

Rating: B. These guys got a lot of time and it’s rather nice to see DIY getting a chance on the big stage. Odds are they don’t win the titles but it’s better than never being on Wrestlemania at all. At the same time, the Creeds feel like they have fallen into a hole. They were in a big time title match and then just vanished for a bit. I’m sure they’ll be back, but dang they fell down a good ways.

Andrade meets Judgment Day, who might be interested in bringing Andrade aboard. They’ll be watching him next week though. Andrade leaves and Damian Priest comes in to get on JD McDonagh for his losses. Dominik Mysterio has this though.

Katana Chance/Kayden Carter vs. Indi Hartwell/Candice LeRae

Hartwell takes over on Carter to start and takes her into the corner, only to have LeRae miss the step up backsplash. It’s off to Chance to pick up the pace but she bangs up her knee while flipping out of a suplex. The referee checks on her but LeRae decks Carter and grabs a half crab on Chance for the tap at 2:02.

We look at the Rock Concert from Smackdown.

Here is Cody Rhodes for a chat. In less than three weeks, he will be face to face with Roman Reigns at Wrestlemania again. Last week on Smackdown, the Rock referred to himself as a heel, which might be an insider term but we all know what it means. People like Ric Flair was a heel but the Rock is just an a******. Rock said he came back here to save WWE but look at this house without him here. Rock is little more than a whiny b**** who brought up Cody’s mom. That makes it fair so let’s talk about Rock’s mom.

She is a wonderful lady who helped him chop Kevin Owens in a dark match once night. Rock thought Cody’s mom was going to cry when he beat Cody with a weightlifting belt, but Rock doesn’t know Cody’s mom. Cody doesn’t know what is going to happen at Wrestlemania, but what does Dwayne know? Is Rock going to bring the Great one or is it going to be “Little D*** Syndrome”?

Rock calls himself the Final Boss and credit to Brian Gerwitz for coming up with that, but he thinks Rock is just Roman Reigns’ side chick. Cue Paul Heyman to interrupt, saying they have a lot in common. A few weeks ago he tried to bring out some cops to take care of Cody and it didn’t work so Heyman apologizes to everyone involved. Cody wanted to talk about heels and while that might be true of Heyman, Reigns is a Tribal Chief of his words.

They will be going face to face this Friday on Smackdown and the only member of the Bloodline with them will be Heyman himself. If Cody shows up, Reigns will be there, alone. Cody: “Deal.” Heyman says that’s fine, if Cody shows up alone too. Cody: “Deal.” This was Cody getting to make things personal with Rock as well and that should get us some great lines both ways.

Nia Jax promises to break Becky Lynch’s face again and take her place at Wrestlemania.

Jey Uso tells Cody Rhodes he has his back on Smackdown but Cody says he has this. Everything is cool.

Ricochet vs. Dominik Mysterio

JD McDonagh is here with Dominik. Ricochet starts fast but McDonagh offers a quick distraction, allowing Dominik to kick him out to the floor. We take a break and come back with Dominik trying Three Amigos but Ricochet reverses the third to take over. That lets McAfee make a puma reference (Ricochet was formerly known as Prince Puma in Lucha Underground) and Ricochet kicks Dominik in the face. The 450 misses so Ricochet drops McDonagh and grabs the Recoil for the pin at 7:22.

Rating: C+. That’s one heck of a big win for Ricochet as he not only beat Dominik but took out McDonagh on the way there. I wouldn’t have bet on seeing him pull off something like that but maybe it’s time to try something else with Ricochet for a bit. There’s no reason to believe it will last but I’ll take even a little hope.

Post match Ricochet fights off McDonagh again.

Sami Zayn thanks Chad Gable for the match last week but Gable still isn’t happy. It means more to him, but Zayn says he has people he’s trying to make happy too. Gable gets straight to the point: Zayn can’t beat Gunther.

Adam Pearce is in the ring and brings out Gunther and Sami Zayn for the contract signing for Wrestlemania. Gunther cuts Pearce off and asks why Zayn isn’t dressed better for something involving a match of this magnitude. Zayn doesn’t like how Gunther is taking him so lightly, but that has been the case more than once in his career. People didn’t believe he would make it to WWE or main event Wrestlemania but last year he ended the longest Tag Team Title reign of all time. Now he can do the same thing to the Intercontinental Title.

Zayn signs and Gunther tells him to keep dreaming before signing as well. Gunther goes to leave but Zayn says wait. Zayn gets in his face and tells Gunther that he believes. Gunther is now looking into the eyes of the man who is taking him down at Wrestlemania. This was setting up Zayn vs. his Goliath, which is as easy of a story as you can have.

R-Truth is in the back with Miz and DIY, with Miz telling R-Truth to be that serious. Indus Sher comes in and R-Truth is worried for whomever has to fight them. Miz sighs and says he’ll tell R-Truth.

Wrestlemania Tag Team Titles Qualifying Match: Awesome Truth vs. Indus Sher

Sanga scares R-Truth away for the early tag to Miz, who gets elbowed in the face for his efforts. Veer comes in for the big jumping elbow and we hit the nerve hold. Miz fights up and it’s back to R-Truth for the John Cena finishing sequence. The STF has Veer in trouble until Sanga breaks it up. Everything breaks down and the Skull Crushing Finale hits Veer but Sanga makes the save. Miz takes out Jinder Mahal at ringside and Sanga elbows R-Truth….right onto Veer for the pin at 3:09.

Rating: C. The comedy with R-Truth being scared was a nice way to go as there was little reason to get into the match otherwise. Awesome Truth have been dealing with Judgment Day for a long time now and it would be nearly insane to not have them involved in the match at Wrestlemania. Indus Sher continues to be little more than the latest foreign monsters and I can’t see it going much further than it has gone here.

Sami Zayn asks Chad Gable why he thinks Zayn can’t beat Gunther. Gable says Zayn is always crawling through the window like an underdog and Gunther won’t let him do that.

Here is Drew McIntyre for a chat…but Seth Rollins interrupts him on the way to the ring. McIntyre doesn’t like being cut off but Rollins says one thing McIntyre recently said was correct. The first step on the road to recovery his name is Seth Rollins and he is a spotlight junkie. McIntyre says everything is a joke to Rollins but….we pause for WHAT chants, which McIntyre says means the fans are glad he took out Punk.

McIntyre goes on a rant about Punk but Rollins tells him to shut up. He was telling the truth when he said he was a spotlight junkie and it gets better and better every single time he’s here. The fans sing for him and that is what Rollins has been wanting. At Wrestlemania, he’ll beat Roman Reigns and the Rock on night one and Drew McIntyre on night two. McIntyre talks about how they’ve both been doing this for twenty years and Rollins has the wrestlers’ title. Why can’t that be why they get the biggest spotlight?

All McIntyre cares about is Rollins making it to the ring at Wrestlemania one way or another. McIntyre is not going to get the moment he deserves but rather the moment he has earned. Rollins talks about how McIntyre won in front of no one but he couldn’t do it again when the people were there. At Wrestlemania, the lights will be on again and McIntyre will find out that he’s not that good. They’re saying the right things but this isn’t quite clicking yet.

Becky Lynch promises to be the last woman standing against Nia Jax.

Wrestlemania Tag Team Titles Qualifying Match: New Day vs. Alpha Academy

Otis runs Woods over to start and we hit the stomach gyrations. Tozawa comes in for a kick to the face, followed by a middle rope hurricanrana to Kingston. New Day is sent outside and Tozawa hits a dive as we take a break. Back with double tags bringing in Otis and Kofi with the former cleaning house.

A World’s Strongest Slam plants a diving Kofi and there’s the Caterpillar for two. Woods comes back in for a tornado DDT for two on Tozawa but Otis makes a save. Tozawa’s top rope backsplash gets two on Woods with Kofi making the save this time. Back up and Woods hits a sitout powerbomb to plant Tozawa, setting up the Limit Breaker for the pin at 9:29.

Rating: C+. The Academy got in a lot more offense than I was expecting here and it made the match more interesting. You almost need to have New Day in a big time match like the ladder match at Wrestlemania, but the team isn’t exactly on fire right now. They’re getting stale again and need something to do, which probably isn’t going to happen until a few weeks after Wrestlemania at the earliest.

Liv Morgan wishes Becky Lynch luck against Nia Jax.

Cody Rhodes, with Pharaoh, runs into Seth Rollins. Yes, Cody is going to Smackdown on his own.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Becky Lynch vs. Nia Jax

Last Woman Standing and Jax starts fast by knocking her out to the floor. Lynch fights back and we take a break just over a minute in. Back with a bunch of weapons being thrown into the ring, with Jax hitting a Samoan drop onto a pile of chairs. Lynch is back up and knocks Jax down, only to get chaired out of the air.

ax hits a bunch of chair shots and drops the leg for a near ten. Choking with a chair doesn’t work for Jax as Lynch fights out with a kendo stick for the escape. The apron legdrop misses for Jax and Lynch hits a DDT onto the steps for nine. Jax gets up as Lynch grabs a table and we take a break.

Back with Lynch getting off a table and using a fire extinguisher to get Jax off a ladder. They get back inside where Jax hits a Samoan drop through a table in the corner. That and the Annihilator get nine so they head to the apron. Lynch grabs a Manhandle Slam through a table at ringside but Jax beats the count again. With nothing else working, Lynch goes up and hits a Fameasser to send Jax through the announcers’ table for the win at 18:32.

Rating: B-. They beat each other up for a good while but it wasn’t exactly an entertaining spectacle. Lynch is ready for one of the bigger matches of her career and Jax is the villain she had to get rid of before she can completely focus on Wrestlemania. That made this match more of a formality than anything else, but as long as Jax is gone from the story, I’ll take it.

Rhea Ripley comes out for the big staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. As usual with the last few shows on the way to Wrestlemania, this was mainly about firming things up for the big show. There were some things added to the card with three teams qualifying for the ladder match, but most of the show was built around the talking segments. Those went about as well as could be asked and Wrestlemania is really starting to feel like it’s just around the corner. That’s what Raw needs to accomplish and it’s beginning to happen.

Results
DIY b. Creed Brothers – Rollup to Julius
Indi Hartwell/Candice LeRae b. Katana Chance/Kayden Carter – Half crab to Chance
Ricochet b. Dominik Mysterio – Recoil
Awesome Truth b. Indus Sher – Skull Crushing Finale to Veer
New Day b. Alpha Academy – Limit Breaker to Tozawa
Becky Lynch b. Nia Jax – Fameasser through the announcers’ table

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Survivor Series Count-Up – 2011:

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2011
Date: November 20, 2011
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 16,749
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

The whole history thing starts us off again, as always. The rest of the video of course turns to focus on the Rock.

US Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

The fans now think this is boring so Dolph jumps over John in the corner and hits a dropkick to take over. Off to a headlock by the champion as the fans still want Ryder. Dolph gets thrown to the floor and Morrison hits a big corkscrew dive to take the champ out. Vickie offers an annoying distraction and Ziggler takes over back inside. Ziggler takes Morrison down and nips up in a good athletic display before hooking a near Crossface.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

David Otunga (a wrestler with a real life law degree from Harvard) comes in to annoy Punk and says Cole deserves an apology from some attack by Punk. Punk says let me go become world champion first.

Team Barrett vs. Team Orton

Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger, Hunico, Dolph Ziggler

Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston, Sheamus, Mason Ryan, Sin Cara

Off to Sheamus vs. Cody now with the Irishman quickly getting annoyed. He pounds Rhodes down in the corner and hits the ten forearms in the ropes, which they tried to name some Irish word. It lasted about two weeks before they realized it speaks for itself pretty well. Cody tries to low bridge Sheamus but Sheamus lands on the apron. Barrett decks the Irishman and Hunico comes in with a springboard dropkick to the knee.

The ring is reenforced for the next match after Big Show and Henry broke the ring at Vengeance, hence the rematch here.

World Heavyweight Championship: Mark Henry vs. Big Show

The New York National Guard is here.

We recap Punk vs. Del Rio. Del Rio cashed in MITB at Summerslam after Punk won, Cena beat Del Rio at Vengeance, Del Rio won a three way with Punk and Cena in the Cell, tonight is the rematch from Summerslam, if you call that a match.

WWE Championship: CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto is defending. Del Rio has Ricardo Rodriguez introduce him, so CM Punk brings out his own ring announcer: HOWARD FINKEL! Round one goes to Punk. Howard waddles out and seems genuinely choked up by the reaction he gets. The fans want ice cream which is a thing Punk said he wanted in his own image. Feeling out process to start as Punk does his headlock so he can call spots to Del Rio.

^th armbar of the match. Punk breaks that one as well but charges into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two.

Punk celebrates for a long time post match. He would hold the title for over a year in the longest reign in over twenty years.

Awesome Truth vs. The Rock/John Cena

Ratings Comparison

Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres

Original: C

Redo: C

Team Barrett vs. Team Orton

Original: B-

Redo: B

Big Show vs. Mark Henry

Original: B-

Redo: C+

CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: C+

Redo: A

The Rock/John Cena vs. Awesome Truth

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: A

The World Title really changed things for me here. Still a great show though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/20/survivor-series-2011-rock-still-has-it/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series Count-Up – 2011: That One Time Rock and Cena Played the Mega Powers

Survivor Series 2011
Date: November 20, 2011
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 16,749
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

The whole history thing starts us off again, as always. The rest of the video of course turns to focus on the Rock.

US Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

David Otunga (a wrestler with a real life law degree from Harvard) comes in to annoy Punk and says Cole deserves an apology from some attack by Punk. Punk says let me go become world champion first.

Team Barrett vs. Team Orton

Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger, Hunico, Dolph Ziggler

Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston, Sheamus, Mason Ryan, Sin Cara

The ring is reenforced for the next match after Big Show and Henry broke the ring at Vengeance, hence the rematch here.

World Heavyweight Championship: Mark Henry vs. Big Show

The New York National Guard is here.

WWE Championship: CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

^th armbar of the match. Punk breaks that one as well but charges into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two.

Punk celebrates for a long time post match. He would hold the title for over a year in the longest reign in over twenty years.

Awesome Truth vs. The Rock/John Cena

Ratings Comparison

Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres

Original: C

Redo: C

Team Barrett vs. Team Orton

Original: B-

Redo: B

Big Show vs. Mark Henry

Original: B-

Redo: C+

CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: C+

Redo: A

The Rock/John Cena vs. Awesome Truth

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: A

The World Title really changed things for me here. Still a great show though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/20/survivor-series-2011-rock-still-has-it/

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 2011: He’s Still Great

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Date: November 20, 2011
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 16,749
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

The whole history thing starts us off again, as always. Take a guess as to what the opening video is about.

US Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

Otunga comes in to annoy Punk and says Cole deserves an apology from some attack by Punk. Punk says let me go become world champion first.

Team Barrett vs. Team Orton

Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger, Hunico, Dolph Ziggler

Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston, Sheamus, Mason Ryan, Sin Cara

Off to Sheamus vs. Cody now with the Pale One quickly getting annoyed. He pounds Rhodes down in the corner and hits the ten forearms in the ropes, which they tried to name some Irish word. It lasted about two weeks before they realized it speaks for itself pretty well. Cody tries to low bridge Sheamus but Sheamus lands on the apron. Barrett decks the Irishman and Hunico comes in with a springboard dropkick to the knee.

Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Big Show

The New York National Guard is here.

We recap Punk vs. Del Rio. Del Rio cashed in MITB at Summerslam after Punk won, Cena beat Del Rio at Vengeance, Del Rio won a threeway with Punk and Cena in the Cell, tonight is the rematch from Summerslam, if you call that a match.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto is defending. Del Rio has Ricardo Rodriguez introduce him, so CM Punk brings out his own ring announcer: HOWARD FREAKING FINKEL! Round one goes to Punk. Howard waddles out and seems genuinely choked up by the reaction he gets. The fans want ice cream which is a thing he said he wanted in his own image. Feeling out process to start as Punk does his headlock so he can call spots to Del Rio.

Austin has yet another DVD.

Awesome Truth vs. The Rock/John Cena

Ratings Comparison

Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres

Original: C

Redo: C

Team Barrett vs. Team Orton

Original: B-

Redo: B

Big Show vs. Mark Henry

Original: B-

Redo: C+

CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: C+

Redo: A

The Rock/John Cena vs. Awesome Truth

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: A

The World Title really changed things for me here. Still a great show though.

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Monday Night Raw – November 21, 2011: Uh….What Was That?

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 21, 2011
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T
Guest Host: Jonah Hill

We’re past Survivor Series and it’s officially the road to Mania. The next PPV is TLC and I think that’s 4 weeks away. Rock/Cena won, which means absolutely nothing but Rock did look awesome in the ring so I guess there’s that. Also we have the title on Punk which should at least be more entertaining. There’s a guest host here tonight I think. Let’s get to it.

Theme song opens us up. It sounds like they’re saying Woo Woo Woo during the transtional parts.

Punk opens the arena part of the show and he gets a nice pop. Good to see that he can get those when he’s not with Cena. He talks about being in first grade and having his teacher asking him what they wanted to do. Various people said stuff like a police officer, fireman, etc. He of course wanted to be a professional wrestler, and here he is: the guy that won the WWE Title in Madison Square Garden last night.

He did this on his own terms and this is all he ever wanted to do. Now he wants to be the bringer of change. Punk sits down in the ring and talks about the ice cream bars. Now he wants to get rid of Johnny Ace, which draws out the skateboard man himself. Ace says nothing of note so let’s get back to Punk talking. Punk talks about how greedy Vince is while Ace is the stereotypical middle man, like the guy from Office Space.

Punk criticizes the term WWE Universe. They’re FANS. PREACH IT BROTHER MAN!!!! Next week it’s Del Rio vs. Punk for the title. Punk makes fun of him for that so it’s Ziggler vs. Punk tonight. Punk: “That’s not a good idea or innovative. That’s stupid.” The fans want to see Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder. Ryder is busy tonight vs. Del Rio. Punk starts walking up the ramp towards Ace and some day he’s coming for Ace himself.

Last night after the PPV went off the air, the fans chanted for Ryder while Rock was in the ring. Think about that: the Rock is in the ring in MADISON SQUARE GARDEN and the fans want Zack Ryder. Rock said he was a fan. Sweet goodness man. PUSH THE GUY ALREADY!

Alberto Del Rio vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder breaks up the intro by Ricardo. I don’t get the point of the booking here. Think about it: Del Rio is #1 contender and Ryder is over like free beer. Why do we need to have this match? One has to lose and Ryder needs to get a win here but Del Rio is already on a losing streak. Why not someone like Morrison here? Instead they’ve come up with the booking already and screw the fans and what they want. And they wonder why their numbers are falling through the floor. Ryder starts his comeback but is sent into the buckle and the armbreaks officially squashes him at 2:26. I hate this company at times. I do.

Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger

Jack tries amateur stuff but Sheamus easily powers him to the floor where Swagger is frustrated. From what I’ve been told, the Twitter thing flashed static and the words “It Begins” was in there instead. Interesting. Swagger takes over with the Vader Bomb and we go to the back for a double armbar. Sheamus starts his comeback but the shoulder off the top misses. Brogue Kick is countered into the ankle lock which is kicked off and the kick ends this at 4:35.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match but it was a nice win for old pasty. Swagger is the walking definition of jobber to the stars at this point and that’s a good role for him since they’re not going to give the guy a new gimmick and the All American thing is done as done can be, so having guys beat him like this is fine.

Nash is up next.

Nash comes out and talks about MSG and how important it is here. He talks about the Curtain Call (look it up) and how HHH should have come back and it should have been them in the main event. But instead the Cerebral Assassin is gone at the hands of Nash. He says he’s the survivor of the group.

Here’s Cody, who says he’s unbeatable and he’s unrepentent. This brings out….oh give me a break it brings out Santino.

Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes

The Canaditalian avoids the Russian from the American but there’s the Cross Rhodes for the pin at 1:03.

Post match Cody goes after Booker, yelling about various stuff. I’ve heard this was the feud for the next few weeks so here we are. Booker gets water thrown thrown in his face and Cody walks out.

Ziggy is in the back and says he won two matches (he was eliminated but he was still on the winning team) and was the only one that did so. He’s the new face of WWE and will prove it to Punk next.

Dolph Ziggler vs. CM Punk

They head to the mat to start and there isn’t much to say so far. Ziggler beats him down for a good while and this is getting a solid amount of time given how slow they’re going. Punk tries a sleeper but Dolph takes over again. Booker calls him the Zig Zag man to get on my nerves. Ziggler keeps the advantage as we go to a break.

Back with Ziggy still in control but Punk fights back. Into the GTS attempt but it’s countered into the sleeper. Again it’s the Zig Zag Man line from Booker to get on my nerves again. That doesn’t work since Punk is a face and here’s comeback #2. He sets for the Macho elbow but Ziggy grows a brain and MOVES OUT OF THE WAY BEFORE PUNK JUMPS. Why is that so complex?

Dolph kicks his freaking head off with a slick dropkick and they go up. Punk knocks him down and there’s the elbow. It only gets two because it’s a middle of the match move. There needs to be more pins off non-finishers. GTS is countered into another throwing kind of move for a close two. Zig Zag is countered into the GTS for the pin at 16:30.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but I didn’t get into it like I did with Cena and Ziggler or Orton and Ziggler. Punk gets a good win here but he’s right: this wasn’t interesting or innovative, but it’s all we’re getting tonight because this could be interesting and not involve Rock, and since we want Punk to not have much to work with, we’re stuck with this. Decent match though.

Here’s Show to talk about Henry. Henry is coming back, Show still wants to fight him, same old same Show.

The Divas do the same stuff but it’s about WWE 12 this time. Next.

Kane return promo. The mask is included for no apparent reason.

Wade Barrett vs. Kofi Kingston

Barrett says the next thing in his sights is the world title. Barrett beats him down for awhile but as he loads up Wasteland, here’s Orton for the distraction. Wade freaks and drops Kofi. He manages to bail before the Trouble in Paradise as we go to a break. Back with Kofi in a chinlock as Randy is sitting at ringside. I like how they’re actually setting up Orton as a natural progression of a story instead of just rushing it.

Boss Man Slam (BIG one too) puts Kofi down down for two. Barrett pounds him down and hooks his bow and arrow hold. This is a pretty uninteresting match. Oh and I forgot to mention: Lawler has a bad voice due to last night so he can barely talk. Out to the floor and Kofi hits a huge dive to take over. Boom Drop hits but a corner splash misses. Kofi loads up the springboard cross body but Wade kicks the rope and Wasteland ends this clean at 11:34.

Rating: C+. Better match than I expected here and it’s awesome to see Barrett getting such a strong push. Also having Orton set up as Barrett’s next feud is a good thing and hopefully we see Barrett get the pin at the PPV, which is a feud win that he needs. Good stuff here but Kofi having a chance would have helped. Not their fault though.

Barrett announces himself as the winner to rub it in on Orton, who teases an attack but declines.

Here’s Cena for the ending segment. The people boo as you would expect. He talks about how a lot has changed in the last 24 hours (Ryder Twitter plug), including us having proof that he and Rock can team up. The fans chant Fruity Pebbles after they get a mention here. Also last night Rock proved that he’s still got it, which means Mania will be exactly what it should be.

This brings out Awesome Truth with Miz talking about how the fans didn’t want to see Cena last night. Truth says Cena is in his own world and Mania will be awful for him. Cena cuts them off and says we learned that Rock still has it and that no one cares about Awesome Truth at all. Cena tries to put some tension between Awesome Truth and neither of them are too happy with it.

Cena leaves and says they should be booing themselves. They get in each others’ faces and argue, resulting in a shove by Miz and a punch by Truth. Miz begs off and says let’s go get Cena, then jumps Truth as they head up the ramp. A Finale on the ramp (head didn’t hit) ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. I wasn’t feeling this show for the most part. The wrestling wasn’t bad but other than the main stuff, the rest was just there. It felt far more like a commercial for WWE 12 but that’s just a one night thing I believe since it comes out tomorrow. It wasn’t a bad show, but I have no idea what’s coming next and I don’t really see myself caring, which is a bad thing.

Results
Alberto Del Rio b. Zack Ryder – Cross Armbreaker
Sheamus b. Jack Swagger – Brogue Kick
Cody Rhodes b. Santino Marella – Cross Rhodes
CM Punk b. Dolph Ziggler – GTS
Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Wasteland

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Survivor Series 2011 – Rock Still Has It

Survivor Series 2011
Date: November 20, 2011
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

Here we are with Rock’s first match in seven years. He’s teaming with Cena to face Awesome Truth, who have looked like the most thrown on heels that I can think of in a very long time. We also have Punk vs. Del Rio and Show vs. Henry for the world titles. The elimination match (Team Orton vs. Team Barrett) has been built up very well indeed and I’m looking forward to it more than any other match. Let’s get to it.

Johnny Ace opens the show. No real point to this but he’s here anyway.

United States Title: John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler

The fans want Ryder. I mean they REALLY want Ryder. Ziggler takes over to start but a charge in the corner misses to give Johnny NoChance the advantage. They do the always cool slingshot spot, channeling their inner Hennigs. Out to the floor where Morrison hits a huge dive. The fans still want Ryder. Why in the world they’re going with Morrison here I have no idea but they’re doing it and that’s their decision and when Ryder’s pop doesn’t mean as much, it’ll be his fault right?

Vickie time gives Ziggler control back and he cheats like a hashtag heel. Morrison tries to fight back but walks into a reverse suplex for two. Sleeper hold is countered but an O’Connor Roll gets two for Dolph. Flying Chuck gets two. Why is it called that anyway? Sleeper by Dolph is countered into a sleeper by Morrison which draws a LOUD boo from the crowd. Vickie breaks up a cover off a tornado DDT, drawing an ejection for her.

Fameasser gets two for the champ but Morrison starts his comeback. Ah John. If only you actually had a chance of winning this match at all. I mean, it’s pretty clear you’re going but they want to squeeze every drop out of you that they can, even though Ryder is clearly the people’s choice. Starship Pain eats knees and Zig Zag keeps Dolph’s title at 10:40.

Rating: B-. Pretty solid opener, but the constant Ryder chants (not the fans’ fault) took away from it. That and the fact that Morrison was as much of a lame duck as you could ask for. Nothing too bad here and it was fine for an opener, but there wasn’t enough here to make it a great match. Now get the belt on Ryder already.

Vickie comes out and says that Dolph is awesome. Dolph says he is awesome and no one would want to follow that. The fans want Ryder but Dolph says he isn’t here. Cue Ryder who hits a Rough Ryder to blow the roof off the place.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

This is a lumberjill match for no reason whatsoever. Eve jumps into a slam to start but takes over quickly, sending Beth to the floor. Back in a neckbreaker and the standing moonsault get two. We get into the normal set of circumstances with Beth locking in a hold as Eve is in trouble. Eve starts her comeback as this couldn’t be more of a beer break match if they put a freaking stamp on it.

Eve hooks this wicked looking choke which shifts into a triangle choke but it doesn’t work as it’s a new submission hold that looked good so it can’t be the winner early. They exchange rollups for two each and this is still going nowhere. Eve takes her down and sets for the moonsault but Beth goes up top and they fight on the top rope. Beth counters into the Glam Slam off the top for the pin at 4:42.

Rating: C. Better than average Divas match here with a pretty solid ending. That being said, I have zero reason to care about this story at all as it just keeps going with nothing really developing at all in it. The heels are still evil and proclaim dominance but they run from any staredown, which defeats the purpose of being dominant. In short, I don’t care at all.

Punk is warming up when Otunga comes up and says that Punk should apologize to Cole before he competes tonight, on the orders of Johnny Ace. Punk says he’ll think about it after he wins the title.

Rock has a mic and talks about being here when he was 5 years old and hanging out with Andre the Giant (which he repeats) while he watches his dad defend his WWCensored tag titles. He debuted here in November of 96 with the worst haircut ever and a stupid outfit but they chanted his name. That was the beginning of an odyssey and he went through the company, winning everything in sight. He talks about Awesome Truth a bit and this is going WAY too long at about five minutes now. Now Rock starts a song number, asking the fans to sing New York with him. WAY too long here but the fans were into it.

Team Barrett vs. Team Orton

Wade Barrett, Hunico, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, Cody Rhodes
Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston, Sin Cara, Mason Ryan, Sheamus

This is the match that I’ve wanted to see more than any other. Ziggler vs. Kofi starts us off after an eternity of entrances. Cara is in white and Rhodes has knee pads. Off to Orton and the RKO ends Ziggler in about 4 seconds. Team Barrett huddles up but Orton jumps them and picks Barrett to beat up. Everything breaks down and Team Orton stands tall. Kofi and Cara try stereo dives but Cara hooks his leg on the ropes and is holding his knee. Great. The fans, again, want Ryder. Cara is eliminated and we’re down to 4-4. I’m not so sure how planned that was, but it looked like he grabbed the rope so maybe it was planned.

Rhodes vs. Orton now and make that Ryan vs. Hunico. I don’t expect these two to be in there that long. Hey I’m right as it’s off to Kofi very quickly. Kofi runs into a slingshot move and goes crotch first into the buckle for two. Wade in now and it’s time for a chinlock. Back to Ryan vs. Hunico and Wales beats up Mexico a bit. Hunico makes a blind tag to Cody who hits the Beautiful Disaster and Cross Rhodes for the pin and a pop plus a chant.

Off to Sheamus vs. Rhodes and Sheamus powers him into the ropes for the pounding forearms which gets counted along with. Get the fans involved in a match, even with something like that, and they’ll love you forever. The referee breaks things up and Cody is able to bring in Barrett who takes over. Off to Hunico and we hear that Sin Cara is trending worldwide. This has been talked about all night by the way but I didn’t feel like bringing it up as it makes my head hurt.

Hot tag brings in Kofi who beats up the Brit because that’s what people do. Boom Drop hits as Cole says he’s emulating Shawn Michaels. Booker: “I never saw Shawn do a Boom Drop.” Barret avoids the kick but walks into a Pendulum Kick, as does Swagger. Wade drops him dead with a big boot though and Wasteland makes it 4-2. Orton comes in but is sent to the floor quickly. Hunico hits a suicide dive and takes over. Could he be more RKO fodder if he tried?

Off to Swags who hasn’t done much in this so far. Rhodes comes in to work on the arm and gets a near fall. Orton manages to throw Rhodes off and both guys are down. There’s the hot tag to Sheamus and one to Swagger as well. The paler one goes up and hits the top rope shoulder. Hunico is sent outside and there’s an Irish Curse for Jack. Barrett breaks the Cross up but is knocked to the floor. Sheamus goes after Swagger and it’s a LAME DQ to make it 4-1. Did I mention they made it a big deal that Orton is a 4 time sole survivor?

Sheamus kicks Swagger in the head before leaving and Orton gets the easy pin to make it 3-1. It’s Hunico, Cody and Barrett left if you’ve lost count. Rhodes comes in to pound him down but Orton fires back with the clotheslines and powerslam. Elevated DDT hits and he loads up the RKO. Barrett distracts as Hunico makes a blind tag. Springboard, RKO, 2-1. Barrett comes in and gets taken down but there’s an RKO to Rhodes. Randy gets too distracted though and Wasteland ends this at 22:18 with Barrett and Rhodes being the sole survivors. Cara has a ruptured patella tendon.

Rating: B-. This was fun but the botch brought things to a complete halt which hurt it a lot. The right guys survived too as they’ve been very hot on Smackdown lately. Randy laying down clean is the right thing to do and he did that here. I have no issues with him pinning Swagger and Hunico, but it’s good that they kept the top heels strong. Fun match, but it wasn’t as good as it was hyped up.

The Bellas hit on Del Rio when Ace comes in. There’s a LOUD Cody chant for this as Ace talks about Del Rio needing to take this seriously. Del Rio says this is the first defense of many in MSG for him.

Don’t be a bully.

We get a long video on Show vs. Henry and the ring breaking last month.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Mark Henry

The ring has been reinforced. Show shoves him around to start as I think the fans want Bryan. Show busts out a waistlock and armdrag of all things. Henry goes after the knee which is smart strategy since he can take it down with his power game. If Cara is out like he thinks he’ll be, it’s six months recovery. He lays on the knee of Show to waste some time. If they keep this a simple power vs. power match, it should be ok. The fans think this is boring and I can’t say I disagree.

The fans chant for Bryan now and Cole says he’s not here tonight due to the attack Friday. Show fights back with a DDT and calls for the chokeslam but Henry picks him up with the Slam for two. Splash gets two as well. An elbow drop gets two. Fire Henry chant starts up as does an Undertaker chant. Out to the floor and Henry rams him through the barricade and please don’t let it be a lame double countout.

Thankfully they’re both back in and Henry is ticked off. Henry headbutts him on the apron and they load up the superplex. Show breaks it up and hits a superkick of all things to put Henry down. That draws the required HBK chant. And with that, Show goes up to the top rope. He looks SCARED. After about a minute, LUCHA SHOW HITS AN ELBOW OFF THE TOP!!! It only gets two and even the MSG fans are into this now. That draws a Randy Savage chant. Show loads up the punch but Henry ducks and kicks him low for the ULTRA LAME DQ at 13:22.

Rating: B-. Man, this was some insane stuff. The elbow was NUTS and the crowd chanting was better than anything you’ll ever hear in TNA. The ending CRIPPLED this though as it was a fun battle of the big men until then, but that ending just sucked. Let it end by a double countout after the elbow or something, but not like that. It was horrible looking all around.

Post match Henry loads up the Pillmanization but Show moves at the last minute. Now Show sets to Pillmanize Henry’s ankle and drops a leg on it for the injury. Uh, Bryan anyone? No? Well of course not. That would pop the crowd huge and we don’t want that. Legit we don’t want that. It’s the Rock’s show.

Barrett says nothing of note when Awesome Truth interupts him. Barrett makes a Charlie Sheen reference. Oh good grief. Truth and Miz talk about Rock/Cena and Truth talks about seeing pigeons looking at a picture of Rock/Cena. “You know what they said to me? Nothing! They’re pigeons! They can’t talk!” Awesome.

The New York National Guard is here and get recognized. Think that draws a USA chant?

We recap Alberto vs. Punk, which King thinks started at Survivor Series. Del Rio cashed in then won it again at HIAC, so this is Punk’s rematch.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Punk has his own ring announcer: The Fink. Punk goes old school ROH with the hoodie. The fans want ice cream. CM grabs a headlock to call some spots and gets two off a shoulder black. Both guys work on the arm with Punk in control at the moment. Del Rio heads to the floor as we hear even more about Twitter. Del Rio heads to the floor twice so Punk hits a suicide dive to take care of him.

Del Rio takes over and Ricardo gets in a shot as well. Punk chases after him but runs into an Alberto kick. Del Rio works the arm which is psychology baby! GTS is countered so Del Rio hits a single arm DDT for two. More arm work and Alberto goes up for another shot to the arm, getting two. He misses a charge and lands on the floor with a thud. Punk takes him down again (while shaking the arm) and they slug it out.

Punk takes over with a springboard clothesline for two. He calls for the GTS and Ricardo has a towel for some reason. The GTS is countered and Del Rio gets a Backstabber for two. The knee in the corner misses and the Del Rio enziguri gets two. A Codebreaker to the arm gets two. They go up and Punk gets crotched so that Del Rio can kick the arm again. He misses a charge though and Del Rio’s arm hits the post. The Macho Elbow hits for two.

GTS and armbreaker are countered but the second armbreaker works to put Punk in real trouble. Punk finally gets his feet on the ropes for the break and sets for the GTS, but he only has one arm. Ricardo interferes but gets kicked down. A big kick sets up the Vice and Punk is champion at 17:03.

Rating: C+. The psychology was pretty solid but Del Rio is such a boring character that I didn’t care in the slightest. Punk winning is a good thing as he was the hottest thing going on Raw for a very long time. Not a classic or anything but it puts the title on the right guy, which is what we needed badly on Raw for the past few weeks.

Fink does the NEW WWE Champion thing post match which brings a legit smile to my face.

We recap Rock/Cena vs. Awesome Truth which starts as a big love letter to Rock. The main event was set for Mania a year ago (essay coming soon) but Awesome Truth wasn’t happy. This is far more about Rock and Cena, as it should be.

John Cena/The Rock vs. Awesome Truth

Gee, who do you think is going to get the most boos? Rock looks great, more muscular that I ever remember seeing him. He starts with Miz as the bell ringer messes up a bit. Cena gives his shirt and a kiss on the cheek to Arnold Skaaland’s widow. Rock cleans house with arm drags and La Majistral for two on Miz. Truth wants him so Rock goes Owen with the wristlock counter.

Rock cleans house again and busts out a fisherman’s suplex to Truth but Cena is fighting Miz so there’s no count. Miz comes in and wants Cena. The fans think Cena can’t wrestle, so they stand around forever. Cena fires off a monkey flip and a dropkick but fans: “You still suck! You still suck! You still suck!” Cena loads up You Can’t See Me but goes to look at Rock instead. Rock sees Truth coming to jump Cena and does nothing at all.

So it’s Cena as Ricky Morton here as he gets beaten down, going into the post. Both heels take turns on him and we head to the floor. Fan: “Tell those pigeons who’s boss Truth!” Miz hits the low DDT for two. There’s the corner clothesline and the fans are either saying he’s awesome or awful. Truth pops Cena and Miz gets two off of it. Booker talks about Rock being selfish and we hear about the summer of 2001 when Rock beat Booker time after time.

Awesome Truth beats down Cena even more as Truth hits a dancing legdrop for two. Hulk Hogan he’s not. He goes up for a cross body but Cena rolls through into an FU attempt. Truth rolls through that and gets two. Cena gets in the shot that he needs and hits an AA out of nowhere on Truth. Miz comes in and takes Rock out though so the heels keep the advantage.

Another dancing legdrop misses and it’s hot tag Rock. He cleans house, hitting the Rock Bottom on Truth and the Sharpshooter is put on Miz. Truth comes in with the Little Jimmy to break it up so Cena spears him down. Great, another guy with the spear. Miz takes over but of course runs his mouth and gets caught by the spinebuster and People’s Elbow for the pin at 21:45.

Rating: B Fine main event tag match here and Rock looked great. That’s the biggest thing here as there was no doubt who was winning here. Now at Mania….I’m not so sure, but that’s another review for another time. Good stuff here and it was exactly what was advertised, which is the right idea here. Not that it means anything, but Rock has been in the ring which is the right thing.

Cena goes to leave but Rock calls him back. They have a pose off and Rock of course is cheered longer and louder. Cena goes to leave but Rock grabs him in a Rock Bottom to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. It’s hard to say this show wasn’t good, but it could have been a lot more. They were intentionally keeping the crowd at a lower key until the very end to pop big for Rock, which is ok, but it makes the rest of the show pretty uninteresting. Some bad finishes really hurt things, but Punk winning the title is great and Rock looked awesome so it’s hard to complain. Good show, but it could have been more.

Results
Dolph Ziggler b. John Morrison – Zig Zag
Beth Phoenix b. Eve Torres – Glam Slam from the top rope
Team Barrett b. Team Orton last eliminating Randy Orton
Big Show b. Mark Henry via DQ when Henry kicked Big Show low
CM Punk b. Alberto Del Rio – Anaconda Vice
The Rock/John Cena b. Awesome Truth – People’s Elbow to Miz

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Monday Night Raw – November 14, 2011 – Rock Is Back…..Again!

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 14, 2011
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s another three hour show tonight as Rock returns again. For a guy that vowed to never leave he sure has a lot of welcome back shows. Anyway, other than that it’s the go home show for Survivor Series so expect a lot of Rock/Cena stuff tonight. Also we should finally get the Cole Challenge for JR. Let’s get to it.

Theme song opens us up.

Jerry does the talking to start which is different. Here’s Cole in the ring for the Michael Cole Challenge. There are two things in the ring covered by black covers. Cole calls out JR and here he comes. There are three challenges and if JR wins all three, Cole quits and JR gets the job back as the Voice of Raw. The first blanket is removed and it’s an arm wrestling contest. We get a referee out here and JR won’t even take off his jacket. Cole does his warmups to waste time and JR beats him in all of half a second. I mean it’s go then we’re done. Cole says he gave up due to JR’s barbecue breath.

The crowd gets to vote on the winner of the next competition: a dance off. Cole dances while holding a red scarf and looks like he’s having a seizure. JR actually says it’s on and asks the fans to chlap for him. JR dances and there’s a meme in there somewhere. JR REALLY loves this business to go through this. The fans of course vote for JR and it’s 2-0.

Up third is who weighs less. The fans go quiet save for a few yells. After turning the scales on wrong, Cole weighs about 200lbs. JR about 240 and Cole wins. He declares himself the winner and that brings out….Punk? Good reaction for him too. The arm wrestling table and the scale are gone and Punk says this is a colossal waste of time because there was no way JR could win. “Except for JR dancing. That was awesome.”

Punk says that Cole’s fifteen minutes of fame are up because Punk wants him gone. Between Johnny Funkman Ace and Alberto and Cole, this show is awful. With three hours, it already feels like Cole has been out here for six. CM wants this to be fun and he’ll do that when he’s champion. It doesn’t matter what it takes to make the show as good as it can be. This brings out Ace. Punk: “Speaking of untalented.”

Ace says that the fans on his Twitter wanted to see the competition. Punk: “Oh yeah? Well screw you and your 38,000 Twitter followers.” Ace makes Punk/Show vs. Henry/Del Rio. Cole is all smug and demands an apology. Punk does say he’s sorry, but Cole is screaming due to being in the Anaconda Vice.

Striker is in the back and a huge limo pulls up. MICK FOLEY IS BACK!

Sin Cara/Kofi Kingston vs. Cody Rhodes/Hunico

Christian is still listed in the graphic for the Survivor Series match. JR has taken over on commentary and Cody has new music. He also has no mask and is smiling now. It’s the same song but a new version of it. Cody says in a quick interview that Cody liberated him. Hunico vs. Cara starts us off and Hunico takes some kicks. Cara speeds thins up and it’s off to Kofi.

A dropkick puts Cody on the floor and the faces hit a pair of dives (the camera misses Cara’s, a rare mistake in WWE production values) and we take a break. Back with Cody holding a chinlock on Cara and then a release suplex. Off to Hunico who hits a slingshot tope and then a camel clutch.

Cara tries a rana but can’t quite get it over. He does manage a head scissors to send Cody down. There’s the tag to Kofi who gets a nice reaction. The springboard cross body gets two, broken up by Hunico. A big spinning dive takes out Hunico but Trouble in Paradises misses, allowing the maskless Cody to take out Kofi with Cross Rhodes for the pin at 8:05.

Rating: C. This was just ok. It was a TV tag match and that’s really all it needed to be. Kofi is in a total holding pattern until Bourne gets back and putting him in a match like this is the right idea since it allows Kofi to do nothing of note until Bourne gets back without them having to drop the titles. Not much of a match and no one is hurt by it one way or another.

Rock is here.

Santino is playing WWE 12 in the back when Ryder comes up (PoP. Not good enough for three capitals), asking him to sign Ryder’s petition. They get in a Rock vs. Cena argument and they agree Awesome Truth will lose Sunday. This appears to be more of a commercial for all things Ryder and WWE 12.

Here’s Vickie to yell a lot. She cuts JR off on his product plugs too. Vickie has bad news: earlier today, WWE.com reported that Christian is out of the Survivor Series match which is legit due to an ankle injury. She blames Teddy for the injury and Dolph is replacing him. Actually Dolph comes out and cuts her off, saying he’s the replacement on Team Barrett. It should be Team Ziggler though because he’s the one with the talent. He has Mason Ryan tonight.

Mason Ryan vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ace comes out and throws Ross off commentary as Cole is ok again. Otunga plans to sue Punk. Cole of course is incapable of shutting up so the match isn’t going to get much attention. Ryan uses a bunch of power stuff and Vickie slaps Ryan for the DQ at 1:08. Next.

Morrison runs out and throws Ziggler back in for a full nelson slam.

Foley runs into Ryder in the back and Ryder asks for a signature on the petition. Foley does a fist pump and Woo Woo Woo. Awesome.

Here’s Foley for the first time in like three years. He says he’s back here where he belongs and it’s to talk about serious business. This Sunday there will be a team that will be together once and then never again. Foley hopes it’ll be again in the form of the Rock and Cena Connection. He talks about how the fans boo Cena and while that’s their right, he wishes the fans would view Cena as one of the greatest ever.

Foley brings out Cena in his hometown. Cena says he appreciates Mick’s efforts, but he and Rock aren’t going to be friends. Cena requested him to be his partner because Rock is electrifying, not because they’re friends. Foley says they know each other a bit and their relationship is based on mutual respect. Foley talks about writing Cena a hand written letter as he respects Cena for treating everyone equally.

However when it comes to Twitter, Foley got in some trouble because he said everyone should respect Cena a bit more for all of his great matches. Preach it Foley. Foley has a hybrid Cena/Rock shirt and he’s going to bring them together, because John Cena…..THIS IS YOUR LIFE!

Cena isn’t sure what to do here but Foley says roll the emotional video tribute! We get a video on baby Cena with some sappy song to it. We also see teenage Cena and his rise through WWE. This is bizarre and once it’s done, Cena isn’t sure what to think again. He asks about the song which sounded like a theme song from a Care Bears movie. The first person Foley brings out is his former little league coach.

The coach tells a story about a game Cena was in where he was the last hitter up and he struck out looking to end the game. The coach said that it was a learning experience but Cena cried his eyes out that day. Foley: “Everybody strikes out once in awhile.” Cena: “You’re striking out with this right now.” Up next is Bull freaking Buchanan. They really brought him out of mothballs for this?

We get a video of Cena rapping from 2003. Cena is either not expecting this stuff or he’s a better actor than he’s credited for. Buchanan talks about how great Cena’s career has been. His life after the team split hasn’t gone so well. He was fired, his wife left him, he lost his money, and his dog bit him and gave him rabies to end his career. Buchanan blames Cena for ruining his life and storms off. Cena: “Finally something worse than the Shockmaster.”

Foley has one more person left: Cena’s dad. This can’t go bad can it? Cena’s dad goes off on the fans for chanting Cena sucks. Cena Jr. looks like he wants to go jump in front of a bus. Dad says the fans suck, not Cena. Children love him. So what? The son begs his dad to stop and says this is awful. Cena’s dad leaves and Cena says that wasn’t his life. This is his life here in the ring. He thanks Foley for trying but this was up there with the Gobbledygooker. Foley says he has one thing left. It’s some chick but instead here’s Rocky.

Rock hits the ring, Rock Bottoms Foley and leaves. That was GREAT. I love Foley but that was hilarious.

Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger

Sheamus is now introduced as the Great White. They’re going to get that over as a nickname by force if need be. Power match to start and Swagger takes him to the mat pretty easily. Sheamus clotheslines him to the floor and we take a break. Back with Sheamus hammering the forearms into the chest but Swagger takes out the knee to take over. Suplex gets two. Sheamus comes back and pounds away on him, hitting a powerslam for two. High Cross is countered and the Vader Bomb hits the back of Sheamus. Ankle lock goes on but Sheamus kicks him to the floor. Irish Curse and Brogue Kick end this at 8:55.

Rating: C. Not a horrible power brawl here as Sheamus beats someone he should beat. Swagger is dying for a new gimmick of some sort but they’ll never give him one because that’s the gimmick they’ve given him and it’s his fault that it isn’t working anymore. Not bad, but nothing to see overall here.

Ryder tries to get signatures from the Bellas who reluctantly sign. They go to see Alberto and he’s having a party when he wins. Ryder barges in and says the girls should party with him on Long Island. Everyone leaves Ryder there.

Kelly Kelly vs. Natalya

After a look behind the scenes of Kelly’s Maxim photoshoot, Kelly is in a Patriots jersey and there’s a Stinkface very quickly. Sharpshooter is countered into a small package for the pin at 52 seconds.

Ace talks on the phone with someone and says they’ll do it next week. It’s Brodus Clay who will be debuting next week. Great, more bait and switch. Alberto and Ricardo come in and Ace says Punk could be trouble if he wins the title.

We run down the Survivor Series card.

Awesome Truth says nothing as Striker asks them questions about the PPV on Sunday.

Punk is headed to the ring for the tag match but Alberto jumps him and beats him down.

Alberto Del Rio/Mark Henry vs. Big Show/CM Punk

Punk is holding his arm and chases Del Rio around a bit pre match. Del Rio vs. Big Show starts us off and Show has his t-shirt on still. After Show destroys him for a bit it’s off to Punk who is out after about 15 seconds. Time for the big showdown with the ring breakers. Henry shoves him away and Show shoves Henry away. Show goes for a slam but Henry falls on him instead for two.

Back to Del Rio who stomps away and then it’s Henry again. Del Rio and Punk are barely in this at all. Show fights up from his knees and Henry is staggered. Henry runs from the right hand and Del Rio isn’t happy. They argue as we go to a break. Back with Mark standing on Punk’s chest. We hear a tweet from Ace who praises Cole for toughing it out. Back to Alberto who works on the arm as Cole runs down the Anaconda Vice.

Punk fights back with a neckbreaker and Henry takes a kick to the head. Show comes in for a superkick to Henry but Punk springboards into the Slam. Show runs Henry down but is sent into the post. Del Rio steals the pin on Punk at 12:08 total. He needed to get a pin over him to give him some momentum.

Rating: D+. I couldn’t get into this at all. I like the whole two matches being advanced in the span of one match but the match dragged a lot. I think part of it is no one cares about Del Rio because there’s zero development to his character. He’s the same guy he was when he debuted over a year ago and nothing has changed in him. That’s not good.

Del Rio puts on the armbreaker post match. He remembers that Punk’s left arm was hurt so he switches sides. Well at least he’s thinking. Big Show makes the save.

Here’s Santino who talks about Del Rio winning the Rumble by last eliminating him. He talks about Boston a bit and sucks up to the fans. Santino is going to put his career back on track now, and that brings out Kevin Nash. Nash says he’s a big fan of Santino and asks to see the Trombone. If you can’t see what comes next, stop reading this and go watch some old matches.

With Santino out cold, he talks about the Rumble where he got the biggest ovation of the night. He talks about HHH not hiring him after that reaction and points out that he’s here and HHH isn’t. There’s a Jackknife to Marella and Nash leaves.

Jonah Hill is the guest host next week.

Here’s a video on WWE 12.

Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton

Barrett’s SS team comes out with him. This is a rematch from Smackdown where Barrett got a huge upset via a thumb to the eye. Barrett says he’s the future and all that jazz. Randy has his team with him as well. Gee think there’s going to be a brawl? The bell is after a break. Orton takes Barrett down quickly and hits a suplex and knee drop for one. Boss Man Slam gets two and control for Wade. Barrett’s hair is all messed up again like it was on Friday. A long chinlock eats up some time until Orton gets out and hits the elevated DDT. And everything breaks down for the DQ at 3:40.

Rating: D+. It’s not like this meant anything but it was long enough to rate. The ending was as obvious as you could ask for as the guys down there ensured the double DQ for the brawl. Also they had to keep Barrett looking strong as if he beats Barrett here, the only real option for beating Orton goes away. Weak match, but it had to be.

Hunico gets destroyed post match.

It’s 10:45 so here’s Rock to close the show. He says at 3:15 AM this morning he woke up and by 3:30 he was eating breakfast (“Not a Fruity Pebble in sight!”). He goes through his daily schedule and says he was in New Orleans filming G.I. Joe 2 earlier today. At 6:45 he landed in Boston and had a security guard talking about….something. Rock talks about wanting to have dinner on the North End but instead he came here because he wanted to say that FINALLY, the Rock has come back to Boston.

In six days he’s wrestling again, but that’s not right now. That’s why he Rock Bottomed Foley: the segment earlier was hot garbage and he had to do something about it. Rock plugs Twitter and says that if he says something, it’ll knock off the Kardashians, Bigfoot and anything else. He wants Awesome Truth right NOW.

Here they come and they imply Rock isn’t going to do anything to them tonight. The truth is that whenever they’re on the show, Raw gets……..AWESOME. They threaten Rock and it’s a staredown. Scratch that as they’re leaving and here’s Cena. He says that Rock is Team Bring It, but the only thing he’s brought for seven years are messages via satellite. The crowd is right: ooooooh!

Rock says you’ll have to excuse Cena because he’s not used to having an adult support him. Rock makes more juvenile jokes and Cena talks about Survivor Series. If Rock’s ego gets in the way of the team, Cena slaps Rocky will be trending.

Miz says he’s tired of this because he’s tired of Awesome Truth being an afterthought. Last time that happened, Miz won in the main event of Wrestlemania. This Sunday will never be forgotten because of the beating Rock and Cena will get. Little Johnny and Little Rocky can talk all they want and the Little Jimmys can enjoy it. The fight is on and Rock punches Truth out. He loads up the Rock Bottom and Truth gets got. AA looks to put Miz down but Rock pulls him off and into a Rock Bottom. Rock leaves and Cena isn’t happy at all.

Overall Rating: B-. The first half is great but once Ace gets there, this goes downhill fast. Alberto is just so freaking uninteresting because there’s nothing to his character at all. He’s rich and he speaks Spanish. What else do we have to go on with him? Oh he has a lackey. That’s it. That right there is Alberto Del Rio. Punk needs to take the title from him so we can have an interesting champion for a change. Anyway, the rest of the show was good but the Ace/Del Rio stuff is just horrible.

Results
Hunico/Cody Rhodes b. Kofi Kingston/Sin Cara – Cross Rhodes to Kingston
Mason Ryan b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Vickie Guerero interfered
Sheamus b. Jack Swagger – Brogue Kick
Kelly Kelly b. Natalya – Small Package
Mark Henry/Alberto Del Rio b. CM Punk/Big Show – Del Rio pinned Punk after a World’s Strongest Slam
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Cody Rhodes interfered

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Monday Night Raw – November 7, 2011 – Ryder Main Events And It Fits!

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 7, 2011
Location: Liverpool Echo Arena, Liverpool, England
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

We’re not live in England tonight as the show was taped earlier today. I’ve managed to avoid spoilers which is a rare thing for me on a taped show. Brodus Clay re-debuts tonight because he’s never been associated with Alberto or anything like that. Otherwise, expect more of Awesome Truth vs. Cena tonight because Rock can’t be bothered to be with the people that he’s champion of. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Cena to open the show. He talks about how Mania tickets are on sale, how Rock is coming back to be his partner at Survivor Series, and everything is leading to Wrestlemania. However, we should make history tonight. He gets to team with a future Hall of Famer to face Awesome Truth tonight though. Cue Awesome Truth before we hear who that Hall of Famer is.

Miz talks about how they’ve beaten down Cena before and he did something that not Batista, HBK, HHH or anyone else could do: beat Cena at Wrestlemania. Truth says nothing of note. Cena says that his partner is expanding faster than the world itself and he’s the tenth wonder of the world, among other things. Miz cuts him off again before Cena can say who it is. Awesome Truth gets in for the beatdown and here’s Ryder of all people to make the save. They clear the ring and Cena does the fist pump. Ryder is the partner apparently.

Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

Non-title here. The announcers talk about Morrison’s losing streak and about how he’s talked about how he needs to get back to square one. They go to the mat and trade headlocks with the crowd being a bit silent. Ziggler drops an elbow for two as we talk about Ryder’s US Title shot petition. Morrison sends him to the floor but as he sets for a dive Dolph takes his head off for two as we take a break.

Back with Morrison working on the neck with some elbows to it and then a neck lock. Big dropkick puts Morrison down. They’re totally going through the motions here. Morrison gets all fired up for a bit but that doesn’t last long for him at all. Off to a chinlock and then a clothesline for two. Notice that he’s staying on the neck but mixing up the attack on it. That’s a very nice touch.

Morrison catches something and counters it into a slingshot and the fast paced comeback. A tornado DDT gets two. Starship Pain misses and Ziggler gets a sunset flip for two. The running knee misses and there’s a Fameasser for two. This match is getting a lot more time than I would have expected it to get. Zig Zag is countered and there’s the Flying Chuck. Vickie has the referee and Dolph grabs a rollup for two. Morrison counters into one of his own for the shocking pin at 13:07.

Rating: C+. Morrison……WON A MATCH??? They were implying that he might by talking about the losing streak so much, but this was really surprising which made for a much more fun ending. I mean, how interesting can a match be when you know who is going to win? Having a twist there (but not a huge one) is a nice surprise and it worked really well here. Fun stuff.

We’ll have Team Orton vs. Team Barrett at Survivor Series.

Mason Ryan vs. JTG

Oh geez isn’t seeing him on NXT enough? Seriously what do you expect here? A full nelson slam ends this at 2:23. Ryan is still very sloppy.

Video on the tickets for Mania going on sale.

The Bellas are talking about nothing in particular when Ryder comes up. This uh, happened.

The Michael Cole Challenge will be taking place next week due to, according to Cole, JR carrying too much barbecue sauce to get on a plane.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

A quick dropkick puts Alberto on the floor but Kofi totally misses a dive, landing on his arm. Gee what bad luck since he’s fighting a guy with an armbar finisher. Del Rio, the master psychologist that he is, goes straight after the arm. Why is that so hard for other people? Kofi fires back with a cross body for two. A kick that appeared to be Trouble in Paradise misses and Trouble in Paradise ends this in 2:10. Pretty much a squash.

Post match Alberto gets the hold on again and here’s Punk. He’ll talk after the break. Back and they’re already arguing. Punk is in the ring now. Del Rio yells about how Punk waited until Big Show had knocked him out to force a title shot. This draws a huge CM Punk chant. Due to what happened, David Otunga says that Punk should cancel the match. Punk says that he’s sorry for not asking because no one just punches someone in the face anymore around here.

He brings up the MITB cash-in that Del Rio used to get the shot at the title. Punk used Del Rio’s method of cheap shotting someone and it worked. He talks about how Del Rio says the same thing over and over again and how everyone watching on DVR is fast forwarding when Del Rio has a mic because they’re not missing anything. Punk says he’ll make the title interesting again. Del Rio says he’s the best in the world and Punk should cancel the match. Punk of course says no and Del Rio jumps him. The armbreaker is escaped and Punk gets a quick Vice. Ricardo gets his usual beating.

Video on the Muppets. Out of context and for someone that hasn’t watched in awhile, that is the strangest line in a review in years.

Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella

We actually get a Penn State reference and talk about Cole’s challenge a lot. Swagger has dominated so far. They’re making jokes about the Titanic sinking. Ankle lock ends this at 2:59. Thank goodness I don’t have to rate it.

Kelly is up next. For some reason AJ’s music is playing over this.

Here’s Kelly to have her cover of Maxim unveiled. Before it’s unveiled here are Beth and Nattie to talk about how there’s more to being a Diva than looks. They get in her face and say cry before Eve and Alicia make the save.

Johnny Ace brings out Nash who talks about HHH. HHH came to the company in 95 in a pair of slacks and Nash should have buried him then. However, Shawn Michaels saw something in him and HHH was brought into the Kliq. Then in 2011 Diesel comes back to the pop of the night at the Rumble. He calls up HHH and asks about putting the Band back together, but HHH didn’t even call back.

Nash says HHH is nothing without him but HHH is the measuring stick. Diesel says he still has it and he can become a world champion on any given night. He says what he did a few weeks ago felt good so why not do it again when HHH was on a stretcher. That’s how you play the game.

Otunga is talking to Ace about Brodus Clay (just had a video package about him) and the debut is postponed because the British fans don’t deserve him. Punk pops up and commends Ace on his plan to keep Punk out of the title match. Otunga says he can’t see Punk as champion because Punk looks like he works at a gas station. Punk responds by PUNCHING HIM IN THE FACE. I love that! Alberto beats him down as Ace demands Del Rio stops, very slowly.

John Cena/Zack Ryder vs. Awesome Truth

Cena vs. Truth starts us off in a Capitol Punishment rematch. Make that Miz very quickly and the beating is on. The fans want Ryder as we’re in the middle of an old school Hogan/buddy of the month style push here. Truth comes in and the fans want Ryder. Now Truth wants Ryder. Cena chases both heels off and we don’t have a tag yet for the good guys. Oh there it is and listen to that POP for Ryder.

Ryder sends him to the floor and we take a break. Back with Ryder snapping off an armdrag and a missile dropkick for two on Miz. You know, the guy that was world champion for the longest time in like 3 years less than a year ago. Off to Cena who gets beaten down by Truth. Off to a bow and arrow hold with Truth not cranking on it at all. At least flex dude. There’s the hot tag to Ryder who cleans house.

He hits the double knees in the corner and a Broski Boot with Cena (complete with sunglasses) hitting one on Truth at the same time. Rough Ryder is avoided and Miz hammers away. Miz hits the corner clothesline and does You Can’t See Me to Cena. Truth hooks on a chinlock as this is getting some time. We’re over 16 minutes in now and both guys are down off a double clothesline.

There are your double tags for a Mania main event rematch. Cena beats them both up and hits a double Shuffle with Ryder joining in. Truth and Ryder go to the floor and Cena loads up the AA. Miz escapes into a cover and Truth hooks the feet. Miz gets the pin at 17:18 and the announcers either missed it or that wasn’t the planned finish (probably the former) as they didn’t react for about two seconds after it happened.

Rating: C+. Pretty entertaining tag match here as they let all four guys have some time and we got a decent match out of it. The ending was odd but I think that might be due to the announcers messing something up. Also, kind of cool to see a match like this not just ending after about 8 minutes for a change though. Fun stuff.

Overall Rating: C+. I could see how some people wouldn’t like this but it wasn’t that bad. With them being in England there was only so much they were going to do but they’re running out of weeks to keep things in this holding pattern for so long. Most of the show is set which is a good thing but there have been too many shows lately where it seems like they’re just waiting around for Rock to save them. Instead, do as Jericho’s Titantron said for awhile: save yourselves.

Results
John Morrison b. Dolph Ziggler – Rollup
Mason Ryan b. JTG – Full nelson slam
Alberto Del Rio b. Kofi Kingston – Cross Armbreaker
Jack Swagger b. Santino Marella – Ankle Lock
Awesome Truth b. John Cena/Zack Ryder – Miz pinned Cena after R-Truth tripped Cena

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