Threemendous: You Shouldn’t Be Able To Cut It In Half

Threemendous
Date: July 16, 2006
Location: Hollywood-Los Feliz JCC, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 350
Commentators: Disco Machine, Excalibur

So someone requested that I do this show…..oh seven or eight years ago now but I’ve finally gotten around to/remembered to do it. It’s back in the earlier days of PWG and I’m not sure if there is some kind of gimmick for the show. PWG has a history of some rather awesome show names and the tradition holds up in their earlier days too. Let’s get to it.

An unnamed man is in the ring and talks about how amazing it is for PWG to have been around for three years. He’s a bit hard to understand but he talks about fixing some problem and promises a special show tonight. Oh and buy concessions.

Disco Machine vs. Excalibur

Before the match, Excalibur talks (of course) talks about seeing some familiar faces around here but there are some people who might not know the history between these two. They have been together for a long time now and there have been questions about who is the better commentator. Excalibur says he can talk at length about absolutely nothing so he proposes a title match tonight: the winner earns the title of Best PWG DVD Commentator.

We get a guest referee who….is not named, which probably has something to do with the massive clipping that PWG releases have to do due to various rights issues. Commentary does let us know that the referee is named Patrick Hernandez. Good to know. Anyway they fight over arm control to start with Excalibur grabbing a top wristlock and flipping over. That’s broken up and it’s a standoff until Disco twists Excalibur’s fingers.

That’s broken up with a hiptoss and Excalibur drops some knees as the two of them talk about the referee allegedly being the inspiration for the Robin Williams movie RV. Disco gets red carded for a headbutt to the chest which lets Excalibur come back with a suplex for two. A catapult sends Excalibur outside for the big dive (which Disco said he didn’t know was coming) and they’re both down on the floor, leaving commentary to go over the company’s history.

Back in and Disco grabs a camel clutch before a suplex gets two. As Disco hits a backbreaker, commentary talks about airline experiences, including the lack of peanuts and package deliveries. Excalibur rakes the eyes to come back and grabs something close to a cobra clutch, setting up a German suplex for two. Disco chokes him to block a heart punch and a chokebreaker finishes Excalibur at 8:30.

Rating: C. I wouldn’t have bet on this having a definitive winner as it would have seemed destined to go to a draw. It wasn’t a match that meant much of anything as it was all about playing into the company’s history, which makes sense on an anniversary show. Excalibur never was much in the ring and he didn’t show me anything else here, but for a fun way to open the show and give the fans something to like, it worked well enough.

Ronin vs. Nemesis

Nemesis grabs a wristlock to start and armdrags him down, meaning it’s time to pose. Back up and Nemesis kicks him into the corner as the fans chant HELLO KITTY at Ronin in an old school callback. I mean, as old school as you can get in a promotion that is three years old. Nemesis sends him outside, teases the pose, and then misses a baseball slide.

Ronin gets in a shot to the ribs and sends him back inside for two off a suplex. Back up and Nemesis grabs a Cradle Shock for two and hammers away in the corner. What looks to be a running monkey flip out of the corner doesn’t go so well and Ronin is back with a swinging brainbuster for two. One heck of a lariat into a Death Valley Driver finishes Nemesis at 7:09.

Rating: C. Another just ok match here with two PWG regulars. The lack of story behind the match made it a bit difficult to get invested in what they were doing though, as they were just doing moves until someone won. Ronin has been on a lot of these PWG shows but has never really done much to get my interest up. Nemesis was just another guy here and while the match was watchable, it kind of came and went.

Top Gun Talwar vs. Colt Cabana

Cabana, who isn’t a very big guy, towers over Talwar. As a bonus, Cabana has two formal photos of some couples. Commentary says Cabana doesn’t know who they are, but that’s the pretty run of the mill for him. Then Talwar offers to fight from his knees….and seems to do a line of cocaine (commentary’s word). Cabana fights from his knees as well and scares Talwar outside, where he circles the ring on his knees.

Back in and they fight over wrist control as commentary talks about stabbing your leg after drunkenly staggering around your apartment. They lock hands and roll around until Talwar finally breaks out, leaving them to sit next to each other on the mat. Now it’s time to lay on each other for some near falls before Talwar’s rollup is countered with a crawl across the ring. Cabana sweeps the legs so Talwar winds up on all fours, where he crawls around with Cabana on his back. Yeah it’s that kind of a match people.

They tease a test of strength but Talwar stops to smell Cabana’s fingers. Now it’s a lockup with Talwar climbing the ropes without breaking contact. Said lockup stays on as they go outside, around the ring and through the entrance curtain. We can hear a bunch of stuff….and then the curtain is pulled back to reveal them having some tea. The referee grabs both of them by the ear and brings them back to the ring, where Cabana picks the ankle. The tease of a low blow is switched into a leg stretch, with Cabana talking until Talwar bites the fingers.

That’s not enough to escape so Cabana rocks them back and forth to make Talwar angrier. Back up and they gently slap it out (Excalibur: “Shades of Moe and Shemp.”) before heading outside again. Talwar is whipped towards the barricade but keeps running, only to trip over the steps. Cabana finds some resistance bands to tie around Talwar’s throat while getting in some exercise, only to have Talwar tie it around Cabana’s wrist.

The tug of war is on until Talwar pulls him in for a clothesline to take over. Back in and Talwar hits a spinning reverse DDT (the Chipolte) for two on Cabana as commentary makes fun of Ike Turner beating Tina Turner. Cabana misses the Flying Apple but counters another Chipolte into an inverted bearhug (meaning Cabana picks him up for a Tombstone and shakes him back and forth) for the win at 12:02.

Rating: C+. This match wasn’t for me and I’m not big on the comedy stuff, but they also didn’t do anything so stupid that it was ridiculous. Cabana doing his comedy stuff is his bread and butter and Talwar is one of those wacky guys who can make something like this work well enough. Not something I’d ever want to see again, but it could have been FAR worse.

Post match Cabana leaves and World Champion Joey Ryan runs in to beat up Talwar. A piledriver on the chair leaves Talwar laid out and Ryan brags about being the best PWG Champion of all time. The fans don’t like it, so Ryan piledrives Talwar on the chair again. Ryan wants Excalibur out here so here he is, just after Ryan hits a third piledriver on the chair. Good beatdown, but those sideburns make Ryan look like a joke rather than a serious guy.

Davey Richards/Kevin Steen/Human Tornado vs. Dynasty

Richards and company have Candice LeRae with them and the Dynasty is Chris Bosh/Scott Lost/Scorpio Sky, with Jade Chung. It’s a big brawl before (I think?) the bell and it all heads outside until the Dynasty is left laying. Back in and Davey kicks at Lost but the tiger driver 98 is blocked. Sky comes in to dance a bit so Richards shoulders him down as well. Tornado and Steen clear the ring with the Dynasty needing a breather on the floor.

After teasing leaving, the Dynasty comes back and slows it down a bit until we get to Tornado vs. Lost. A crossbody puts Lost down and his attempt at a low blow fails (that’s difficult to do). It’s off to Richards to strike away as commentary discusses why a low blow didn’t affect Tornado (I’ll let you figure that one out). Tornado comes back in for a dancing low blow on Scott and Bosh’s attempt at a low blow just hurts his hand. A leg trip takes Tornado down though and it’s Sky getting to stomp away in the corner.

Bosh and Steen (on the apron) exchange nipple twists before Tornado is sent face first into Sky’s rock hard abs. They certainly have some unique spots around here. Figure out if that is a good thing on your own. Sky heads outside where he gets beaten up by Steen and Richards, who have to be pulled off. Back in and Tornado gets elbowed in the face and Lost grabs a chinlock. Tornado fights up and this a neckbreaker, allowing the hot tag to Steen to pick up the pace. Richards comes in with a missile dropkick and it’s a German suplex for two on Lost.

Bosh and Steen slug it out but it’s right back to Sky to leg lariat Richards. With everyone else on the floor, Tornado hits a HUGE flip dive to wipe out the pile. Back in and Richards rolls Lost up for two but Sky takes Richards down with a jumping cutter. Bosh’s clothesline into a backbreaker gets two on Tornado and there’s a Stunner to Steen. That doesn’t work for Steen, who is back with a Rock Bottom to Bosh. Richards gives Sky a gutbuster and Lost has to break up a stretch muffler. Steen hits a great looking moonsault for two on Bosh but Sky clears them out and knocks Tornado silly with an implant DDT for the pin at 20:05.

Rating: B. Now this felt more like a PWG match as you had six guys in there starting off with a regular tag before going into the wild fight that it needed to be. The Dynasty looked like a team but since commentary isn’t about to offer any kind of insight into what is going on, they were just people who had somewhat matching gear. The other three were people who happened to be teaming together, as backstory or drawing people in isn’t exactly PWG’s strong suit.

Post match Steen grabs the mic and yells something at Richards that is kind of hard to understand but it doesn’t seem to go well. Richards grabs the mic and rants about a variety of things, including slipping in a gay slur. He seems ready for the Battle Of Los Angeles and is ready to take someone out. Steen appears to apologize to Tornado and they hug it out. I think that was a heel promo? Maybe?

Roderick Strong vs. TJ Perkins

Perkins is only 21 here and looks even younger than that. They start slowly with Strong tying him up, only to get pulled down into a cross arm choke. That’s reversed into the same thing from Strong. With that broken up, Perkins needs to tie his boot and Strong is nice enough to let him. Perkins wins a battle over wrist control but gets flipped over into an armbar. That’s reversed into a hammerlock from Perkins as the technical start continues.

Perkins fights out again and it’s another standoff, this time with Strong bailing to the floor for a seat in the first row. Back in and Perkins goes right back to the arm as commentary explains why it might not be great business for Strong to be a heel. Strong fights up and tries a kick to the ribs, which Perkins stops and spins around to drop Strong again. The front facelock goes on and is switched into a cravate as Strong can’t get anything going here.

The chop off goes a bit better for Strong, who manages to hit his first backbreaker. We hit the full nelson with Strong’s legs, followed by a less painful looking (for both of them) camel clutch. A torture rack backbreaker drops Perkins again but Strong pauses to yell at the fans. Strong hits a suplex for two and then slams him on the apron to make it worse. Back in and Strong ties their legs together and pulls on the arm for a rather nasty looking hold.

Perkins gets out and avoids a charge in the corner, setting up a high crossbody for two. Strong is back with an enziguri into a Falcon Arrow for two more but Perkins pulls him into a cross armbreaker. With that broken up, Strong hits the fireman’s carry gutbuster into the Sick Kick into the tiger driver for….two, in quite the kickout. Not that it matters as the Strong Hold makes Perkins tap at 18:56.

Rating: B. This is the kind of match that would fit in PWG or Ring Of Honor as they kept it straight and went with one move after another until Strong, the bigger star, got the win. That is all you needed to do here and it was the lengthy match that didn’t feel boring or long despite getting a lot of time. Good stuff here as both guys are always worth at least a look.

Kings Of Wrestling vs. Cape Fear

That would be Claudio Castagnoli/Chris Hero vs. El Generico/Quicksilver. This is announced as impromptu, but there is no story given for why it was thrown together. Hero and Generico start things off with the fans WAY behind the Kings. Generico works on the arm but Hero cravates him down and it’s off to Quicksilver vs. Castagnoli. Some leg cranking has Quicksilver in even more trouble but he’s back up with a hurricanrana for two.

Hero comes back in and has to counter a monkey flip so it’s right back to Castagnoli to clothesline Generico. This time it’s Generico grabbing a hurricanrana of his own and Castagnoli is frustrated. Hero comes in without a tag and the Kings chop each other by mistake. Generico sends them outside for some dives as Castagnoli is busted open bad (via a gash from the previous night).

Back in and Hero makes a blind (but not deaf) tag to take Generico down. Hero chops him in the throat and Castagnoli adds an uppercut for two. A gorilla (appropriate) press drop onto the turnbuckle has Generico in more trouble and Hero comes in for a dropkick for two. Generico finally manages to armdrag Castagnoli into Hero and a flip over allows the hot tag to Quicksilver.

A middle rope spin into a Black Widow has Hero in big trouble as Generico hits a heck of a dive onto Castagnoli on the floor. Hero falls over to the ropes and suplexes Quicksilver down hard for the break. It’s back to Generico, whose corner run tornado DDT is countered into an uppercut from Castagnoli for two more.

Hero ducks the Yakuza Kick and hits Generico with one of his own but back to back dropkicks take him down. Castagnoli gets taken down by a hurricanrana on the floor and a brainbuster gives Generico two on Hero. That’s too far for Castagnoli, who LAUNCHES Quicksilver into some chairs at ringside. Back in and Hero flips Generico into a powerbomb from Castagnoli (cool) for the pin at 20:48.

Rating: B. This got going near the end but there were some long stretches of dull to get there. Generico is someone who can work well with anyone but the Kings were much better as a team. Good match here and it ate up a lot of time, though it never reached that point of being a classic or into a higher gear.

PWG World Title: B-Boy vs. Joey Ryan

Ryan is defending in a Battledome, meaning a TLC match inside a cage (though you win via pinfall/submission). The weapons are already in the cage and Ryan goes for the climb at the bell, only to have B-Boy throw a chair at the wall to cut him off. Ryan’s elbows are broken up and cut off with a single elbow to the face, followed by a heck of a kick to the chest.

There’s a clothesline to drop Ryan again and Excalibur gets in a jab at Konnan for some reason. Ryan gets blasted with a chair to the head and the blood is flowing early. The blood works well for B-Boy, who sends Ryan face first into the cage. Back up and Ryan sends him into the cage for a change (and his first major offense) to bust B-Boy open as well.

Ryan snapmares him down, sits in a chair, and grabs the chinlock to slow things down a bit. With that broken up like a drop toehold should be, Ryan drop toeholds him into the chair to make the bleeding even worse. A chair to the face lets Ryan grab a ladder, which is slammed back with a chair. Some ladder shots to the face have Ryan in more trouble and another shot takes out a cameraman.

The chairs are piled up for a Death Valley Driver to give B-Boy two more but the referee gets bumped. Therefore, Ryan tapping to B-Boy’s Crossface means nothing, allowing Ryan to come back with a spinebuster onto a chair for two. The table is set up near the corner and a superbomb through it gives Ryan two of his own. Ryan slaps the referee for the slow count so they slug it out (just go with it) until Ryan sends him into the cage over and over.

A Go To Sleep connects but there is no referee again. A second referee slides in to count two before checking on the bloody original referee. Ryan and B-Boy fight to the floor (escape doesn’t matter in this match) with B-Boy getting the better of things by throwing Ryan into the chairs. A cheap shot slows B-Boy down but he gets in a low blow. A double stomp onto some chairs keep Ryan in trouble as they have been on the floor for a good while now.

Ryan is back with a low blow and they climb the side of the cage until Ryan elbows him down through the table at ringside. Back in and B-Boy fights back and puts Ryan on a ladder, setting up a top rope cutter for the double knockdown. A VERY delayed cover gets two so B-Boy puts Ryan’s head through the ladder rungs. With a chair over Ryan’s head, B-Boy goes to the top of the ladder and double stomps down onto the chair.

Since Ryan is done, Scott Lost runs in to beat down B-Boy, including a Vertebreaker onto the pile of chairs. B-Boy is up at two so here is Human Tornado to take out Lost. Scorpio Sky and Chris Bosh run in to beat on Tornado so Kevin Steen, Davey Richards and Excalibur run in to clear some of them out. Everyone fights at ringside and Tornado sets up a table in the ring.

Tornado goes up top but flip dives onto the pile at ringside instead of moonsaulting onto Ryan through the table. B-Boy goes up top for a Superfly Splash through Ryan through the table for two (with the fans popping BIG for the near fall). With both of them down, Jade Chung comes in but Candice LeRae is right there to take her out. Ryan sends LeRae into the cage so B-Boy hits him with a chair. Chung makes the save this time so B-Boy gives her a GTS. That’s enough for Ryan to pour something on a cloth to smother B-Boy and knock him out to retain the title at 34:47.

Rating: C-. I don’t often get to say this, but you could have easily cut half of this off and had a better match. This was A LOT of filler, plus all of the insanity at the end. It doesn’t help that Ryan isn’t very good in the ring and seems to be more about reputation than anything else. The brawling was good but I was checked out about halfway through and just wanting this to end. B-Boy was ok here but he didn’t exactly feel like a top star. Good enough match, though its flaws are really bad.

We’re off the air with the ring announcer only getting to AND STILL.

Overall Rating: B-. This show hit a nice stretch near the middle but the main event didn’t work and the first few matches weren’t exactly great. Maybe this is just too early in its history, but the show didn’t have me wanting to race out to see more PWG. While it certainly isn’t a bad show, there is almost nothing on here that blew me away. Maybe jumping ahead a bit will help, but this was closer to mediocre than good.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.