Backlash 2004
Date: April 18, 2004
Location: Rexall Place, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Attendance: 13,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Shelton Benjamin vs. Ric Flair

Flair is still in Evolution and Shelton is the hot young singles star looking to make a name for himself. He beat HHH twice in a row, once by pin and once by countout. Flair is here to avenge The Game. Shelton takes him into the corner but Flair comes back with his chops and punches. The Stinger Splash misses but Shelton lands on the top rope and gets down unharmed. Benjamin speeds things up and dropkicks Flair to the floor.

Flair uses the rope to cheat so the hold is broken. A chop gets two. Flair goes back to the knee but gets caught by the Dragon Whip kick to put both guys down. Shelton whips him into the corner and Flair crashes over the top and out to the floor. Flair pulls out a weapon of some sort but gets splashed in the corner. A top rope clothesline pins the Nature Boy.

Jonathan Coachman vs. Tajiri

HHH arrived earlier.

Christian/Trish Stratus vs. Chris Jericho

Trish tries to come back in but gets clotheslined down. Christian takes Jericho down and now only the referee is on his feet. Trish rolls to the floor and Jericho hits the running hip attack while Christian is in 619 position. Lionsault gets knees and Christian puts on a Texas Cloverleaf. Jericho escapes and tries the Walls but instead he catapults Christian into Trish. The running enziguri gets the pin on Christian.

Victoria is champion and is looking good here. Lita tries to speed things up to start but gets thrown to the mat with a kind of armdrag. They both tumble out to the floor which goes nowhere. A bad looking backslide gets two for Victoria. They do a pinfall reversal sequence which goes nowhere. Victoria slams her down and hits her dancing moonsault for two followed by a chinlock. A floatover snap suplex gets two for the champ.

Rating: F+. This was one of the worst matches I can remember with the girls in a long time. It was REALLY slow paced and the botches were noticeably bad. The division was in big need of something fresh, which is why we got Lita vs. Trish again, as both of them were just awesome at what they did. Horrible match.

Gail and Molly beat down the other girls post match.

Intercontinental Title: Cactus Jack vs. Randy Orton

La Resistance vs. Hurricane/Rosey

We recap Edge vs. Kane. Edge is back from neck surgery and needs an opponent, so he gets Kane, end of recap.

Edge vs. Kane

Edge has a broken wrist or arm or something too. Edge fires off a right hand (the good hand) for no effect. He gets Kane into the corner as JR is talking about football for some reason. Middle rope clothesline looks to set up the spear but Kane heads to the outside. Kane finally wakes up and rams the bad arm and hand into the steps to take over.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

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Date: April 29, 2001
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 15,592
Commentators: Paul Heyman, Jim Ross

I’m not doing Backlash just yet but I’m coming up on this one in the Raw 2001 reviews so I figured I better knock it out so I don’t have to do it later. There are two big matches here as we have Benoit vs. Angle in an Ultimate Submission match (iron man match, submissions only) and HHH/Austin vs. Kane/Taker in a match where are the titles are on the line. Let’s get to it.

Opening video talks about how he who has the gold has the power. Fitting start considering the main event has all the titles in it which is rather stupid indeed but whatever.

Dudley Boys vs. X-Factor

Six man tag here with all three Dudleyz vs. X-Pac, Credible and Albert. Dang they go from one of the most famous tag matches ever to a six man opening a PPV four weeks later. Brawl to start with the Dudleys clearing the ring. They launch Spike onto Pac and Credible on the floor which is always fun. Spike and Credible start us off with Spike getting a crucifix for two.

Off to Albert who counters the Dudley Dog to take over. Back to Justin and the white socks of fear. Powerbomb out of the corner gets two as this crowd is red hot. Double tags bring in D-Von and Pac and Albert cheats, allowing Pac to kick D-Von’s head off to take over again. X-Factor minus Pac puts D-Von’s balls against the post as this is a rather fast paced match.

Pac gets two off a legdrop and we hit the chinlock. D-Von tries a comeback but walks into a Boss Man Slam to keep him down. Off to Albert who hits a pretty sweet delayed butterfly suplex for two. After a double clothesline it’s hot tag Bubba who cleans house on all three guys. What’s Up to Justin and it’s table time. Albert kills D-Von though and the distraction allows Credible and Pac to hit a double superkick on Bubba for the pin.

Rating: B-. Pretty solid opener here with some fast paced stuff. They got the crowd into the show (ok so this is Chicago so it’s not like it was that hard) and the ending worked. Nothing wrong with having heels win the opener as the match was good enough to get the fans over it. Also the lack of feud prevents the whole emotional damage.

X-Factor tries to put Bubba through a table but due to the laws of wrestling, Pac goes through it instead.

The Duchess of Queensbury, a guy in drag, is here for the match later with Regal and Jericho. This was one of those weird ideas that isn’t talked about after this show. Regal in a collared shirt and trunks is a weird looks.

Angle says he’s confident and that’s fine.

We get a clip of Jerry Lynn winning the Light Heavyweight Title on Heat with a handful of tights which was rather surprising.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Rhyno

Rhyno is champion. This is considered one of the best hardcore matches ever so let’s see if it lives up to its hype. Rhyno tries a Gore immediately but Raven drop toeholds him into the stop sign. Trashcan shot gets two. Rhyno takes over with a running shoulder in the corner and the beating begins. Raven gets a trashcan up to block a running charge but it hurts him even more. He falls out to the floor and gets covered for two.

Rhyno sets up the steps and puts Raven in a chair. He tries a run up the stairs to set up a dive, only to crush the chair. Raven uses the same setup but gets a clothesline off the steps for two. Back inside for half a second as Rhyno takes over again. Raven gets his head taken off by a trashcan lid and a sign shot gets two. Back into the ring and Rhyno hits him with a shopping cart. Whatever works I guess.

Drop toehold puts Rhyno into the cart and down he goes. A bunch of sign shots take Rhyno down and a LOUD one does it again. Bulldog out of the corner gets two. Rhyno picks up the shopping cart but Raven gets a trashcan shot in to have the cart fall on Rhyno for two. Cart goes into Rhyno’s ribs but Rhyno gets a sign shot in to get two. Momentum shifts back and forth a lot in this match. Rhyno tries the Gore into the shopping cart but misses and Rhyno is stuck inside the cart. We go to a replay of it and during that the Gore ends Raven. That fits the move as the move is supposed to come out of nowhere, which it did there.

Rating: B. Well they were right, this was good. The key thing here is it never got silly. This was more about violence than the weapons if that makes sense. Most of the time there would be comedy spots in something like this but here, it was all about the violence and the brutality out there, making for a far better and more entertaining match.

We get a clip from Smackdown where Shane read a book called Shane and the Beanstalk to Big Show. Funny stuff here. The idea of the feud is that Vince is mad at Shane for being all rebellious and for destroying him at Mania and buying WCW, so he sent Show out to kill him. That one piece swimsuit was deadly indeed. The story is actually kind of funny. It’s last man standing by the way.

Shane is about to talk but Stephanie comes up and says he should apologize to Vince. Stephanie, you look great, but your acting is uh….bad.

Austin gets here.

Coach tries to find out the rules of the Duchess of Queensbury match. The Duchess doesn’t know who Coach is. Regal breaks it up and yells at Coach.

We recap Regal vs. Jericho with the exact same video from Mania. Basically Regal is commissioner and Jericho said he was boring so Regal tormented him. This is the second match and no one knows the rules of this match but Regal. Gee, think there’s a swerve coming?

William Regal vs. Chris Jericho

Either Regal got taped up in record time or that Duchess thing was taped earlier. This is a Duchess of Queensbury Rules match. He brings out the Duchess after some donkey-hole chants. The Duchess has the whole old school British stereotype stuff on. There’s even a throne there for her. Jericho makes fun of Regal pre-match. There’s the bell and there’s still no idea what the rules are. Technical stuff to start as Jericho speeds things up. Out to the floor with Regal being besmirched a lot.

Back into the ring and the missile dropkick misses, giving Regal the advantage. Off to the chinlock which doesn’t last long. Regal goes up but Jericho gets a dropkick to slow him down and a rana to bring him back down. Lionsault hits and the bell rings before the count even begins. That’s the time limit for round one so the match has a break. Regal immediately grabs a rollup for two.

Jericho misses a dropkick and Regal hits a slingshot to send him into the top rope throat first. The Englishman hits a German to the Canadian as the Oklahoman complains. Regal Stretch goes on but Jericho grabs the rope. Jericho rolls through a rollup into the Walls and Regal taps immediately. And if you really believe that’s the ending, you have no business reading this. You can’t win by submission apparently, which clearly explains why Regal had the hold on a few moments earlier.

Jericho goes after the Duchess and Regal pops him with her scepter. It’s No DQ of course though, because that’s how the Duchess rolls. That only gets two back in the ring as Regal takes over again. Butterfly suplex gets two. Enziguri takes down Regal and Jericho stomps a mudhole in the corner. Jericho sets for the Walls but kicks Regal in the balls instead. Regal heads to the floor and a baseball slide sends Regal’s face into the Duchess’ royal vagina. The Duchess goes into the Walls and Regal pops him with a chair three times to end it.

Rating: D+. Pretty weak here as the ending was about as obvious as you could ask for. Also, this doesn’t really mean anything given that Jericho isn’t champion anymore. Granted the Alliance was coming soon so all of this would be forgotten. Not much going on here but it wasn’t terrible, just stupid.

Vince tells Show to hurt Shane.

We recap Angle vs. Benoit. Do you really need an explanation here? It’s an Ultimate Submission match with Benoit and Angle. There’s your explanation.

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

30 minute time limit, most submissions win. Angle says Chicago is full of fat sweaty pigs and needs winners. He makes fun of the city which is kind of funny. There’s a thirty second rest period between falls. After some feeling out stuff to start, Angle takes it to the mat and Benoit is all cool with that. Ankle lock doesn’t work so Kurt hits the floor to think for a bit.

This is going to be a long one as the clock is on the screen the entire time. Back in the ring and Angle takes Benoit down which gets him nowhere. Back to the mat again and this time to the floor. Benoit gets the Crossface out there and Angle taps but they’re outside so it doesn’t count. Five minutes in and no falls yet. Angle tries to bring in a chair as we stall a bit. With half an hour I can understand that though.

Back in and Angle is holding his shoulder a lot. And never mind as he was faking since he charges straight in and grabs the ankle lock for the quick tap. You could argue Benoit tapped early to prevent further damage but it still looks kind of weak by Benoit. Angle works on the ankle/knee but charges into a Crossface attempt. That doesn’t work so Benoit shifts to a cross armbreaker to tie us up.

Benoit rams Angle’s shoulder into the post and there’s the armbreaker again but Kurt leans forward to avoid a lot of the pressure before making the rope. Shoulder breaker by Benoit and he goes after Kurt, only to take out the referee at the ten minute mark. Angle gets a chair shot to the head and the ankle lock makes it 2-1. Angle jumps him during the rest period and you can’t really DQ him I guess.

Angle puts on a Crossface seconds later to make it 3-1. Maybe 10 seconds between the end of the rest period and the tap. Kurt hammers him some more and rams his face into the announce table. Benoit backdrops Angle to the floor but doesn’t take the time to breathe. Kurt’s shoulder goes into the post but Benoit’s everything goes into the steps. Ankle lock goes on but it’s still on the floor, meaning Benoit tapping doesn’t mean anything.

We go back in with fifteen minutes left and a 3-1 lead for Kurt. Benoit avoids a cross armbreaker by Kurt which wastes some time. Off to an abdominal stretch which Benoit counters into another cross armbreaker attempt but he can’t get the tap. Out of almost nowhere Benoit gets a Sharpshooter, only for Kurt to make the ropes again. A German is countered into a half Liontamer by Benoit (he used it before Jericho in WCW) for the tap to make it 3-2.

Kurt heads to the floor and it’s time to play defense. Benoit catches him pretty easily and sends him into the steps. Kurt tries to run again and the fans aren’t thrilled at all. With ten minutes to go Angle catches Benoit coming in and they slug it out a bit. Benoit can’t get back in for a bit and Kurt stomps him when he does. Angle hits a snap suplex back inside and keeps trying for the ankle lock.

Out to the floor again and they chop it out. Back in and Benoit gets a dragon screw but can’t hook the ankle. Benoit misses a dropkick and Angle locks in some freaky looking hold before going to a chinlock. Five minutes left as Benoit gets his arm up before a third drop. With four minutes left Benoit breaks the hold with a jawbreaker. And never mind as Kurt takes his head off with a clothesline.

Belly to belly by Kurt which is scary considering how long they’ve been out there. Another hits with three minutes left. Benoit manages to grab some Germans but gets reversed into an ankle lock which he reverses into an ankle lock of his own to tie it up at 3 with just over two minutes to go. The clock keeps running during the thirty second rest. Chop block by Benoit with 1:20 to go. Minute left and it’s German time again. Low blow by Kurt breaks that up but the ankle lock is broken quickly. Ankle lock goes on fill with 8 seconds left and we’re done. Benoit taps after the bell ends in a draw.

Just like in 96 though with Shawn and Bret, it’s time for some overtime, first submission wins it. If it continued though, why wouldn’t the tap just after the bell have ended it? Angle hammers him and the fans aren’t thrilled with him. They go to the mat and Angle grabs an abdominal stretch down there. There’s a Crossface out of nowhere and Angle taps for the ending. Like Benoit was losing in sudden death.

Rating: B. It was entertaining, but the main idea of Benoit vs. Angle is all about having them go back and forth with insane counters until one of them finally gets caught in something. That was taken away here and it brings the match down a lot. To be fair it’s still good but by comparison it’s definitely not as good.

Taker is mad at Kane but we can’t hear them. HHH and Stephanie are watching and say they’re coming up with excuses for tomorrow on Raw.

We recap Shane vs. Show which we’ve been over already so I’ll spare you from repeating it.

Big Show vs. Shane McMahon

Show hits the ropes a few times before Shane comes out. Shane comes out to a version of Here Comes The Money here. He has that stupid book with the fable in it with him also. Shane hides under the ring but pops out with a kendo stick to get in some solid shots. Big old clothesline takes him down though and we head back into the ring. Shane gets some solid chair shots and finally takes Show down.

Shane goes to the floor and gets a bag. He puts a surgical mask on and some gloves before grabbing a rag to put over Show’s face. This works for the most part and Show goes down to his knees. Now down to his stomach. The fans are completely behind Shane here. At about five Vince runs down and pops Shane with a chair. Show, ever the genius, pulls Shane up at about 8.

Final Cut puts Shane down again as we wait around more while the referee counts. That’s a large portion of most last man standing matches and it takes too much most of the time. Show picks him up again and drops him with a chokeslam. He picks Shane up again despite Shane being mostly dead. Torture Rack goes on but here’s Test to pound on Show. They had a thing on Smackdown so this works.

Show beats him down also and the big men go to the floor. Up towards the stage and Test gets in some weapon shots to slow him down a bit. Show beats on him some more and here comes Shane again. After some sign shots by Shane, Show finds a pipe from somewhere. Shane climbs the set to escape and Show goes after him. Test pulls him down and beats him up, allowing Shane to hit a HUGE dive, as in literally 25 feet or so to crush Show with an elbow. Test holds Shane up with a boom mic and we’re done. That spot was insane beyond belief.

Rating: C. You can only get on Shane so much for these, but the whole thing is basically Show beats on him, Shane is dead, Show picks him up, repeat. That took twelve minutes somehow. The big spot was cool but it didn’t really save the match. Also the replays showing that he totally missed didn’t help.

Vince is ticked off about Shane so Stephanie gives a badly scripted speech to chill him out. Vince declares HHH his only son.

Steve Blackman is at WWF New York and is impressed by the big dive. Grandmaster Sexay pops up to make me want to go on a shooting rampage.

European Title: Matt Hardy vs. Christian vs. Eddie Guerrero

Matt is champion, having beaten Eddie sometime between this show and Mania. Apparently it was three days ago. Good to know. Matt fights off a double team to start and that doesn’t last long at all. Matt is tossed to the floor so Christian jumps Eddie as a result. Powerslam gets two for the Canadian. Eddie snaps off a rana and pounds on Christian a bit more. Matt back in now and everyone is down.

Matt takes Christian down with a clothesline for two. Eddie is off somewhere, probably looking for a taco. Ah there he is and he pulls Matt to the floor, only for both of them to be taken down by a baseball slide by the Canadian. Matt gets a tornado DDT on the floor but is pulled back in by Eddie who hits a brainbuster for two. There goes Matt’s shirt and there go the teenage screams.

Christian saves Matt from taking a rana for some reason and Matt drops Christian onto Guerrero. Matt takes over and Christian accidentally takes out Eddie. Middle rope legdrop gets a big pop and a close two on Eddie. Edge pops up out of nowhere to spear Matt in the aisle and toss him back in for two for Eddie. Edge gets in but here’s Jeff to cancel him out. Unprettier to Eddie but Jeff mostly misses a Swanton to rbeak that up. Twist of Fate ends Christian and Matt retains.

Rating: C. Just kind of there really but this could have been on Raw. That being said, it was pretty good for a buffer match between the big ones as only the main event is left. Not a horrible match at all but at the same time it wasn’t all that great. Just kind of there which isn’t something you want on a PPV. I’ve seen worse though.

Ad for WWF New York.

We recap the main event. Basically HHH and Austin are the monster heel team with Vince in their corner and they destroyed the Hardys for fun. Taker and Kane are their first real challengers and are tag champions. HHH is IC Champion and it’s one of those matches where all the titles are on the line and whoever gets whatever fall gets whatever title.

WWF World Title/Intercontinental Title/Tag Titles: HHH/Steve Austin vs. Undertaker/Kane

Kane has a bad elbow/arm here so that’ll likely play into the ending. Oh and if HHH wins he’s a Grand Slam Champion. The heels stall a lot and Austin can’t even throw his vest into the ring. There’s the bell and it’s time to go. Kane gets a shot into HHH’s head and we stall even more. HHH finally gets in alone and down he goes again. They’ve been on the floor about three minutes now.

Finally the tall dudes go out to the floor and the slugout begins. HHH goes into the announce table as Austin and Taker are actually in the ring now. They switch off with HHH and Kane in the ring now. No idea if anyone is legal yet. Kane chokes both guys but his arm is hurting. Ok so HHH and Kane are the official starters now. There’s the jumping knee and down goes the big fried freak.

HHH brings in Austin but Kane gets the tag and Austin tries to run. His reward is having a mudhole stomped into him. Taker destroys him for a bit and Austin offers a handshake. This is the guy that a month before was at war with Rock. Wow indeed. Taker reluctantly tags in Kane, which makes sense here. Back off to Taker and HHH and Old School hits. Old School to Austin also and Taker clears the ring.

The Two Man Power Trip tries to leave but Kane makes the stop. Back in the ring and HHH breaks up the Last Ride. Double mudhole is stomped into Taker in the corner and we head to the floor again. Austin vs. Taker now in the ring and make that HHH instead. The challengers (kind of) are tagging in and out rather well. Taker fights out of it and gets a DDT on HHH but won’t tag. Not can’t, but won’t.

Austin hits a Thesz Press but the middle finger elbow is caught in an attempted chokeslam. HHH makes the save but Taker gets a double clothesline to put all three guys down. Kane tags himself in and hammers on Austin. Another chokeslam is broken up by HHH and Kane avoids a Stunner. HHH finally wakes up and works on the arm. This is kind of a mess. Austin gets a chair shot to the arm and it’s an ARMBAR in the ring by the Game.

Kane’s face is pounded on a bit more but Kane reverses to pound on Austin a bit more. HHH makes another save as it keeps seeming like this is a handicap match rather than a regular tag. Top wristlock goes on which Kane fights out of again. HHH gets tossed to the floor where he’s able to break up a tag. Austin comes in sans tag and he and Kane botch something badly. It looked like it was supposed to be a clothesline but Austin didn’t go down or anything like that.

HHH tries to comes off the top but Kane gets a foot up but still can’t tag out. He picks up Kane’s leg and Kane looks like he’s setting for an enziguri but he just hops for awhile and HHH takes him down. Pedigree hits and HHH tags out for no apparent reason. During the confusion Taker comes in and chokeslams Austin. Stephanie distracts Hebner so he shoves her down and counts two on Austin.

Kane hits the enziguri this time which makes me think they blew the spot earlier. The referee goes down for a bit and doesn’t see the hot tag to Taker. Taker pummels them both and it’s a Last Ride to Taker but he’s not legal a minute after being tagged in. Low blow by Austin to Taker and a Stunner to Kane. Taker and Austin brawl into the crowd and HHH gets a tag title belt, only to get it kicked into his face. Chokeslam is loaded up but Stephanie comes in, only to get kicked in the face also. Vince runs in with a sledgehammer which HHH gets for a pair of shots to Kane, one in the head, for the tag titles.

Rating: D+. This was about half an hour long and the whole thing didn’t work for the most part. It was just a big mess with everything going all over the place and nothing of note going on other than the arm work. It was more about everyone doing random moves instead of a coherent match, which is rarely a good thing at all. Not a good main event.

Overall Rating: D+. Didn’t really do it for me here. Not really anything great at all on the whole card. There was some good stuff here but at the same time it didn’t work for the most part. The lack of titles other than at the end hurt it a lot as it usually does. The company fell down quickly after Mania and the Alliance only helped for a little bit.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Backlash 2003
Date: April 27, 2003
Location: Worcester, Coliseum, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz

Rock vs. Goldberg. That’s really all there is to say about this show. Well not really because I’ll write five or six pages about it but you get what I mean. Goldberg debuted the night after Wrestlemania and I think this is the first big match he’s had. It’s also Rock’s last match for about eleven months as he would go full Hollywood, come back for Mania, and then be gone for seven years. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is exactly what you would expect: highlight packages of Rock and Goldberg who collide tonight.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Team Angle vs. Los Guerreros

The Smackdown Tag Titles were established in the fall and had been a big highlight of the company ever since. They let the wrestlers go out and have great matches, and when you had guys like these four, Angle/Benoit and Edge/Mysterio, you could mix and match anyone and get an entertaining match. Team Angle (who are defending here) brings out a portrait of Angle who is too hurt to be here. This is Los Guerreros’ rematch after the champs won the titles in February.

Eddie and Charlie get us going. They take it to the mat quickly and it’s a stalemate. Eddie gets three straight two counts and a nice bit of applause from the fans. After some showboating it’s off to Chavo vs. Benjamin. Los Guerreros take over on the arm of Shelton and use better teamwork. Shelton gets in a slam and clothesline on Chavo but Eddie gets in a shot to the back and Los Guerreros take over again.

Chavo chokes him with the tag rope and Eddie gets in some shots on the floor. Slingshot hilo gets two. Off to Haas who gets Eddie into the corner and Shelton uses the rope to choke away as well. Nice little bit of storytelling there. Eddie gets caught in the double team move where Shelton jumps over Charlie and lands on Eddie’s back for two. A pair of suplexes get two for Charlie.

Benjamin comes in with a chinlock and uses a leg lace to keep Eddie in the ring. Shelton comes back in with a kind of powerslam for two. Off to a chinlock as Cole sets up Tazz to explain how Shelton is making this hold more effective. See? Why can’t he do that with Booker and Lawler? Charlie bends Eddie’s back over his knee but Eddie comes out of it with a headscissors in a cool counter.

Hot tag to Chavo and he cleans house. Suplex gets two on Charlie. Shelton powerbombs the tar out of Chavo and everything breaks down. Three Amigos to Charlie but Eddie has to be sent out. Chavo gets a delayed two on Haas so Eddie Frog Splashes him so Chavo can get another two. He tries a suplex to Charlie but Shelton hooks the foot and it’s the Wrestlemania 5 ending as the champions retain.

Rating: B-. Bad ending to a good match here. Like I said, there’s no real need for a story here because you can give four talented guys fifteen minutes and you’re going to get a good match. Tag matches and cruiserweight matches to open a show are great choices. Tag matches with cruiserweight style guys are even better choices. Good stuff here but the ending wasn’t great.

Chavo dives onto the champs and Los Guerreros steal the belts. They head to the back and leave in a green car. The horn plays La Cucaracha and the car bounces away.

Torrie tells Test to leave her alone. He calls her baby and says they don’t have to tell Stacy about anything. Stacy is Test’s girlfriend but he’s not getting any until he wins more if I remember this properly. Test won’t let her leave and kisses her, making Torrie leave distraught. Sable sees what happened and smiles.

Here’s a very fat gut attached to Roddy Piper. He’s got a basket of coconuts with him. After saying he has a lovely bunch of coconuts, he introduces Sean O’Haire.

Sean O’Haire vs. Rikishi

O’Haire was a guy with A TON of potential and an awesome looking gimmick that was similar to a devil’s advocate who said that everyone knew they did wrong things, but what’s so bad about that? Look up the promos as they’re really cool. Then he was put into a feud about Piper vs. Hogan and became Piper’s lackey and had his push ruined. This match is happening because of Piper hitting Snuka with a coconut almost 20 years ago.

Rikishi controls to start but Piper offers a distraction to shift momentum. O’Haire hooks on a chinlock as this match stops very quickly. Piper plays to the crowd and gets them to boo him, because keeping the focus on the guys in the ring isn’t a good idea right? O’Haire misses a spin kick and Rikishi splashes him in the corner. Sean escapes the Stink Face and Piper gets in the ring. He brings in the coconut but both guys hit kicks at the same time. Piper gets in again but Rikishi cracks the coconut over his head. O’Haire picks Rikishi up and hits the reverse Death Valley Driver for the pin.

Rating: D-. Piper sucked the life out of O’Haire at this point because no one was interested in Piper vs. Rikishi, which is what this was really about. Piper would be gone a few months later and O’Haire’s push would die. The Devil’s Advocate character was never mentioned again and we lost a ton of great potential. But hey, Piper got some TV time out of it right?

Sable comes up to Stacy at catering and suggests that Torrie hit on Test. This was part of some weird lesbian crush that Sable had on Torrie.

RVD and Kane get fired up. RVD is nervous because Morley is guest referee. Kane says let’s go win.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Kane/Rob Van Dam

RVD and Kane are champions. Morley is the guest referee and the corrupt Chief of Staff for Bischoff. The Dudleyz are heel against their will here but it’s the only way they can get a title shot. They’ve also been fighting a bit. Bubba and RVD start us off and it’s power vs. speed. RVD kicks the legs out from under him but Bubba pounds him down with ease. Van Dam tries to flip out of the corner but Bubba takes his head off with a clothesline.

Off to D-Von and Kane with the masked man taking over. Big boot gets two as Morley has been fine so far. Bubba comes back in and gets clotheslined down very quickly. The fans want tables as Bubba manages to knock Kane down. The count seems a little faster there. Spinebuster by Kane gets two and a pretty fast count as well. Van Dam comes back in for some flipping offense, including a moonsault for two.

The rolling monkey flip is countered and Bubba hits a sidewalk slam for one. Kane gets knocked down and What’s Up RVD? D-Von comes back in and gets two as Van Dam is in trouble. Off to a chinlock to fill in some time. Bubba comes back in but gets caught by a spin kick from Van Dam and it’s a double tag to bring in D-Von and Kane. The Dudleys are both in the ring at the same time and Morley is fine with it. Back to RVD who hits Rolling Thunder on Bubba.

The monkey flip is broken up but Kane hits the top rope clothesline to take D-Von down. Morley hits Kane low to break up the chokeslam but it only gets two. Morley clotheslines Bubba by mistake and D-Von beats the tar out of him. Here’s Lance Storm to take out D-Von but he takes a Bubba Bomb. There’s a 3D to Morley and a chokeslam to Bubba. Five Star Frog Splash gets the pin by another referee.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t that terrible but MAN was it overbooked. I completely lost track of what was going on in the middle of the match with who was on what side. Did anyone really care about Morley in 2003? I don’t think anyone did in 2001 so I’m thinking the answer to that is no here. The match was ok but it was a total mess by the end which brings it down.

Stacy goes into the women’s locker room and a fight starts.

Women’s Title: Jazz vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is champion and Jazz has Teddy Long with her. The Dudleys beat up Trish on Raw recently so she’s coming in injured. To those of you paying attention, IT’S THE SAME THING AS LAST YEAR. Jazz goes after the bad ribs but gets rolled up for a quick two. Clothesline gets two for the champ but Jazz goes back to the ribs. A release Glam Slam puts Trish down but she comes back with a tilt-a-whirl slam for two.

Backslide gets a delayed two because Teddy has the referee. Jazz gets in a shot to the back and it’s off to a Boston Crab. Trish rolls out of it with leg strength and hooks the same move on Jazz and then into an STF, which is the same finishing sequence from last year. Teddy shoves the rope to Jazz though and we keep going. Chick Kick gets two. Stratusfaction hits but Teddy throws in his shoe to break it up. Somehow that’s not a DQ and Jazz rolls her up with the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D. Someone tell me the appeal of Jazz. This is the second year in a row they’ve put her over Trish for the title and I still don’t see the appeal of her. You have Molly and some other chicks on the roster that can be evil and you pick Jazz? Why? So you can have her speak ebonics and be loud? You have Jackie for that. Boring match with an annoying outcome.

Booker and Shawn fire each other up. Nash is ready too. Yeah the Raw main event is a six man that no one wants to see.

Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show

Apparently Mysterio embarrassed Show recently. A fan things Big Show loves Cher. Is that an insult? Rey gets Show to chase him which frustrates the giant. Things go exactly as you would expect: Rey fires off some offense, Show uses power, Rey speeds things up again. Backbreaker puts Rey down and Show takes over. Rey gets sent to the floor and gets in a chair shot and seated senton for two. A pair of 619s take Show down and a third staggers Show but he jumps into the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D. I can’t stand these matches. The one perk here is that Show didn’t look like an idiot for the most part. At the end of the day, without making the giants look stupid in these matches, there’s no real conceivable way to have a competent giant lose these matches. Rey’s offense would have no effect here and for the most part it didn’t. The ending helped it but the rest of it was junk.

Post match Rey is put on a backboard and Show picks it up and slams the board into the post.

Flair, HHH and Jericho (the other team in the six man) say that they’re ready and not worried about Nash. Yeah, not only did HHH vs. Nash get two PPV singles matches, it gets a six man as well. That’s ignoring their European PPV main event too.

Stacy and Torrie are still fighting. Were they fighting all through that match? Scott Steiner comes in to take care of Stacy again, which would lead to them hooking up and then a feud with Test, resulting in a Steiner heel turn and Stacy being made a sex slave. Test comes in to yell and Steiner leaves. Some savior.

We recap Cena vs. Lesnar. Cena was a plucky young guy that Lesnar hurt so then Cena came back as a rapper and won a pretty star studded tournament to get his shot here. Check out these brackets.

Chris Benoit
Albert

Big Show
Rhyno

Undertaker
Rey Mysterio

Eddie Guerrero
John Cena

Cena beat Eddie, Undertaker (with interference) and Benoit. That’s not bad for a guy less than a year into his run with the company. Then again Lesnar main evented Mania in his first year so that trumps Cena I think.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar

This would be a very different match today. I mean imagine: CENA ON SMACKDOWN? That’s hilarious. Cena comes out in a Yankees jersey and raps about being better than Sammartino. He’s iron like the Sheik and has us in his camel clutches. Cena jumps him from behind and we’re ready to go. This is Lesnar’s first defense since Mania. Lesnar grabs him into a backbreaker and hits two of them followed by a fallaway slam.

Brock hooks a front facelock on the mat and the fans think this is boring. That’s so weird to hear in a Cena match. A kind of fisherman’s suplex puts Cena down. Lesnar hits a gorilla press and we head outside. Cena goes into the announce table as this has been ALL Brock for the first few minutes. Back in Cena avoids a clothesline and heads right back to the floor. John manages to reverse a whip into the steps and gets a breather.

Brock is bleeding from a bandaged cut he had coming in. Belly to back gets two for the challenger. Cena knocks him to the floor and rams Brock’s head into the post again. That gets two so it’s chinlock time. Brock has a cut that looks like the kind Hogan used to get: it’s all jagged. The hold doesn’t last long as Lesnar charges into a big old spinebuster which puts both guys down.

Cena comes back with a clothesline for two. Now the Dr. is getting frustrated so he puts on a rear naked choke of sorts. Cena’s eyes look crazy here. Brock gets up and rams Cena’s back into the corner three times to break the hold. That would be opposite corners which makes it even more impressive. Brock gets all fired up and hits a bunch of clotheslines and a spinebuster for two. Powerslam gets the same. Brock almost gets rammed into the referee but he puts on the brakes. Low blow gets two for Cena and the Throwback gets two. Cena picks up the chain but as it’s taken away he walks into the F5 for the pin.

Rating: B-. Not bad here but man is it weird to see Cena as such an underdog. This wasn’t really a match with a chance of having a new champion, but rather giving Brock a good first match as champion. Cena was obviously going to get better but for a first time out there, this was fine. Why they don’t do this more often today is beyond me. Why not throw out something like Kofi for a title match if you have a bigger main event such as Rock vs. Goldberg.

We recap the six man. Nash wants HHH, Booker wants HHH, Shawn wants HHH, Jericho and Flair are there to give some backup. Jericho and Shawn were just getting past their Mania match too.

Ric Flair/HHH/CHris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels/Booker T/Kevin Nash

Booker gets an ok reaction, Shawn gets a good reaction, Nash gets NOTHING. Nash and HHH start but Jericho tags in during the staredown. Off to Shawn as well before any contact was made. Shawn punches him a few times and hooks a sunset flip for two. They trade pinfall attempts, getting about 14 in total. Off to Nash who sends Jericho to the floor and hits both Evolution members.

Back in Nash hits the big boot and with 1/5 of his offense gone, he brings in Booker. Spinebuster gets two on Jericho. Flapjack gets the same. Jericho gets him into the corner and it’s off to The Game. Flair comes in and misses a knee drop, letting Booker tag in Shawn. Forearm and nipup set up the superkick but after it connects, Shawn walks into a Pedigree. Flair makes the tag and it’s off to Jericho who picks the bones of Shawn.

A few elbow drops get two for the Canadian so it’s off to HHH again. High knee gets two for the Game. Flair comes in but the Figure Four is countered into a small package for one. Jericho back in and he throws on a quick hold which gets him nowhere so it’s HHH time again. That goes nowhere so it’s back to Flair for some knee attacks. Shawn gets a clothesline for a pair of twos but he can’t follow up.

Double tag brings in HHH and Nash and things slow down again. You can literally see the crowd sitting still during his house cleaning segment. Shawn had been in trouble for awhile just like the formula would suggest, but the people just don’t care at all. Everything breaks down and it’s Booker vs. Flair on the floor. Pedigree is broken up as is a Jackknife (a few people reacted at least) and everything breaks down even more.

There’s a Spinarooni and the fans pop to their feet. Shawn slams Flair off the top but Jericho breaks up the kick. Figure Four goes on and Jericho adds the Lionsault. Nash comes in for the save and the second Jackknife attempt gets even less of a reaction. There go Flair and the referee and the Jackknife kills Jericho to a moderate reaction. Not that it matters as HHH hits Nash with the hammer for the pin.

Rating: C. The match was ok but Nash’s reactions were downright embarrassing. No one cared about Nash and there’s no other way of looking at it. The pop for his entrance got nothing, his hot tag got nothing, his finisher got nothing. Also, why in the world would you have HHH pin him here? Why in the world would I want to see Nash vs. HHH now if HHH just pinned him? You have Nash pin HHH here to set up the PPV match that you just have to have. Ok match, stupid booking.

We don’t know much about Mysterio now other than he’s hurt.

We recap Rock vs. Goldberg. Rock beat Austin at Mania and had his appreciation night until Goldberg debuted and speared him to death. They had Goldberg talk too, which defeats the purpose of him.

Rock says he’s done it all and that when he got speared, it hurt but he’s here. Rock is a heel here but he’s so energetic that no one will boo him. Goldberg is next.

The Rock vs. Goldberg

Goldberg’s music is changed. You know, because Goldberg wasn’t over with what he had. We also get the full on Hollywood Rock entrance which is still awesome. Goldberg’s music is MUCH softer and it doesn’t work at all. Lawler keeps talking about how Goldberg was a big fish in a small pond and makes sure to make people remember that WCW was NOTHING. The fans chant Goldberg as we’re in full stall mode.

We’re going very slowly with Goldberg knocking Rock out to the floor. Rock stalls on the floor but guillotines him on the rope and hits a clothesline for a pop. Goldberg hits a Rock Bottom and sets up for the spear but Goldberg crashes into the buckle which Lawler says “may be the greatest thing he’s ever seen.” Now it’s Sharpshooter time which is broken eventually. For some reason the referee looks away and Rock hits Goldie low.

Rock sets for the Rock Bottom but Goldberg hits a weak spear. Time for more laying around as this match is WAY too boring. Rock tries some clotheslines but Goldberg won’t go down. A spear from Rock puts Goldberg down and King is losing it. Rock Bottom gets two. The Great One punches him so Goldberg clotheslines him down. Another spinebuster sets up the Elbow but it only gets two and the fans are mad. Spear hits, Rock swears, spear again, Jackhammer and we’re done thank goodness.

Rating: F. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? This was GOLDBERG VS. THE ROCK! Goldberg literally did nothing but punches, clotheslines, spears and the Jackhammer. Not close to it, not an expression, literally that’s it. This match was absolutely awful with them spending at least four minutes (out of 13) laying around. It’s one of the worst debuts I can remember in years and it was completely unacceptable.

Overall Rating: D-. I was thinking this was an ok at best PPV until the main event. Then the bottom fell out of that idea. This was AWFUL with a terrible main event. Nash’s reactions are some of the most embarrassing I’ve ever seen but he would be in the next THREE Raw PPV main events for the title until Goldberg took over. You know, the guy who got a lukewarm reaction at best. There’s a reason people call 2003 the worst year in company history. IT WAS TERRIBLE.

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Backlash 2002
Date: April 21, 2002
Location: Kemper Arena, Kansas City, Missouri
Attendance: 12,489
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the show after Wrestlemania 18 and the main event is Hogan vs. HHH for the title. Other than that we have Austin vs. Undertaker which I’m not sure what to expect from. The show doesn’t look great on paper but after doing Backlash 2000, almost anything is going to come off as inferior. I’ve been surprised before though. Let’s get to it.

We open with Hogan talking about how at Wrestlemania, The Rock became a Hulkamaniac. HHH talks about wanting to destroy part of his childhood. It’s about being the greatest ever or something like that.

Cruiserweight Title: Tajiri vs. Billy Kidman

Tajiri is evil and making Torrie wear a Geisha girl robe. He’s also challenging here. This is just after the Brand Extension and the first time the whole roster has been together in a few weeks. Feeling out process to start and Tajiri misses a big kick. They go to the corner and exchange strikes. Tajiri hooks a slingshot to send Kidman onto the middle rope but he comes off with a spinning missile dropkick for two. Out to the floor and Tajiri drapes him over the barricade to take over.

Tajiri chokes him in the ropes back inside and hits a BIG kick to the head. Off to a chinlock which is pretty quickly broken up. Kidman gets put in the Tree of Woe and Tajiri hits a baseball slide dropkick to the face. That always looks great. Now Tajiri works on his back and tries the Tarantula but Kidman breaks it up. Tajiri is sent to the apron and jumps up into a sunset flip position but spins around into the Tarantula in a slick counter.

Buzzsaw kick misses and Kidman counters the powerbomb attempt into a facejam as is his custom. They exchange rollup attempts but Tajiri kicks his head off for two. Another powerbomb is countered the same way and it’s Shooting Star time. It eats canvas though and the Buzzsaw kick gets two. The fans start a Kidman chant as the guys go to the corner. Kidman hits a sitout spinebuster off the middle rope for a VERY close two. Kidman tries a powerbomb of his own but Tajiri sprays red mist in his eyes for the pin.

Rating: B-. Good opener here with both guys hitting some big stuff in there. Tajiri is probably my favorite Japanese guy and he didn’t disappoint here. That spinning Tarantula and the Buzzsaw kick were great. The spinebuster was awesome too and it made for a great opener. Gee, two talented guys having a few minutes make for a good match. Shocking no?

Tajiri rants in Japanese.

We get an APA reunion in the back as they’ve been split by the Draft. Bradshaw’s match is next.

Scott Hall vs. Bradshaw

Yes, knowing that Hall is likely going to erupt soon, they put him against BRADSHAW. X-Pac gets in the ring also so Farrooq comes out to offer backup. There’s the toothpick throw to start and Bradshaw puts him down quickly. DDT gets two and it’s time to tell X-Pac he sucks. Hall goes to the floor and backs into Farrooq who blasts him in the face. The NWO broke up the APA’s office so there’s an actual story to this.

Bradshaw stays in control with some elbow drops for two. Hall comes back with almost the only move he can do in 2012: punches. He mixes it up with a spin punch so maybe that counts as a second move. Hall stomps him down in the corner but Bradshaw punches back from the mat. JR calls it a bowling shoe match as Bradshaw kicks him in the face. The big Clothesline gets two as Pac makes the save. Farrooq chases him off and Bradshaw punches X-Pac off the apron. The distraction lets Hall hit Bradshaw low (kind of. It was more like he put his arm between Bradshaw’s legs and left it there. There wasn’t any force.) for the pin.

Rating: F. There’s no real other way to put it: this was a very bad match with no real redeeming value. Hall going over doesn’t help anyone, Bradshaw wouldn’t do anything for two years, the ending was bad, there was very little action, and the fans didn’t care. With no redeeming value, how can you call it anything but a failure? Terribly uninteresting match.

Vince goes to see Flair and says that Flair is starting to feel the heat as an owner. Tonight Flair is guest referee for Austin vs. Undertaker which is a #1 contenders match. Flair yells at Vince a lot and says he’ll never be like Vince McMahon. There are so many ways you can take that and most of the time it’s true.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Jazz is champion. Trish is stating to get good at this point. She also has her signature look down now. Molly Holly (with some very good looking reddish brown hair) comes out to protest Trish getting the shot. Molly lost a #1 contenders match to Trish due to some minor tights pulling, even though Molly did it first. She says that the fans want their Women’s Champion to be pure. Molly pops Trish with the mic and throws her to the floor. Trish fires back with forearms but gets sent into the steps.

Jazz comes out as Molly is sent to the back but Trish comes in damages. Side slam gets two. Trish can’t get anything going and Jazz hits a Regal Roll for no cover. Trish hits a clothesline and a bad Chick Kick for two. Stratusphere puts Jazz down and a neckbreaker gets two. Jazz comes back with a Batista Bomb for two. Belly to back gets the same for the champ. Trish goes to the corner but gets pulled out by a dragon screw leg whip. That gets transitioned into a Boston Crab and an STF for the tap out.

Rating: D+. Nothing much worth seeing here and I’m not quite sure why they went with Jazz as champion for so long. They would give Trish the title soon enough but for some reason they didn’t give it to her in Toronto at Mania. Not a terrible match here but no one cared about Jazz at all.

Jazz has nothing to say post match.

We recap Jeff Hardy vs. Brock Lesnar. Heyman was in Lita’s locker room on Monday and had one of her thongs. He implied if she slept with him, Brock wouldn’t kill Matt. Later in the night Heyman had her whole bag of thongs (why does she needs that?) and when Matt charges at Heyman, Lesnar killed him with an F5 on the stage.

Heyman fires up Lesnar in the back.

Jeff Hardy vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is still using generic ominous music here. Hardy goes right at him and is easily thrown to the floor. Hardy tries to speed it up but dives into Lesnar’s arms. He manages to ram Brock into the post and hits a top rope cross body back in for two. Brock shrugs that off and rams Hardy into the corner with the shoulders.

The destruction begins as Brock throws him around and Heyman yells that it’s Lita’s fault. Jeff gets in some punches but he can’t do much with them. A Whisper in the Wind out of nowhere puts Lesnar down as does the jawbreaker. Swanton gets two so it’s chair time. Brock picks him up with ease and hits the F5. Three powerbombs and it’s called off.

Rating: C+. This was exactly what it was supposed to be: a way to make Lesnar look completely awesome and dominant. Those powerbombs were awesome and Jeff’s masterful selling helped them all that much more. Throw in Lita looking especially great and this worked quite well.

We recap Angle vs. Edge. Angle said he beat Olympians from Russia and Iran who were a lot tougher than Nikolai Volkoff and the Iron Sheik. He made an open challenge and lost to Edge in the biggest win of Edge’s career. This was the feud that transitioned Edge from comedy singles guy to legit midcard guy. There were some offbeat shenanigans with Angle holding up pictures with funny phrases on the backs of them, resulting in the match tonight. If I remember right it also introduced Angle’s YOU SUCK chant.

Edge vs. Kurt Angle

Angle takes him down quickly but Edge speeds things up and takes over. He hits a flapjack and knocks Angle to the floor where Kurt takes a break. Back in the American hits a German on the Canadian to take over. They trade chops in the corner but Edge walks into a belly to belly overhead for two. Edge tries to come back but gets caught in another suplex for two.

Angle hooks a chinlock and tries the Rolling Germans but Edge escapes. There’s a suplex to Kurt and both guys are down. Angle gets back up first but gets sent into the corner and walks into the Edgecution for two. Edge goes up but Angle walks the corner (that was a newer move back then) and suplexes Edge down for two. Ankle Lock is quickly broken up so Kurt hits some more Rolling Germans for two.

Edge hits an overhead German of his own to send Angle to the floor, where Edge kills both himself and Angle with a dive. Back inside a missile dropkick gets a VERY close two. Edgecution and Edge-O-Matic are countered into the Angle Slam for two. There’s the ankle lock but Edge rolls through it before hitting a clothesline. Angle is frustrated so he goes to get a chair. It hits the top rope though and Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic for two. The fans are WAY into these kickouts. Angle kicks him in the face on the spear attempt and the Slam gets the pin.

Rating: B+. VERY fun match here which was way out of Edge’s league at this point. This is the feud that made Edge into a solid guy and also made Angle bald. Good stuff here as the fans were as into those kickouts as I can remember any crowd being in awhile. This was very entertaining and it would only get better between these two.

Tazz is at WWF New York and the fans are split on the main event.

Here’s Jericho who complains about not being on the show after being in the main event of Wrestlemania a month ago. So he rants for awhile and says he’s better than everyone, including Hogan. He says Hogan isn’t worthy of being a champion and that it should be his title shot. Jericho says he’s leaving Kansas City RIGHT NOW. I’m sure you all know what that means.

Flair says he’ll call the match fair tonight when Undertaker comes in. Nothing is said but I think Taker is mad about Flair taking the last bowl of Jello.

Intercontinental Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rob Van Dam

Eddie is recently back from almost a year off due to drug and alcohol issues. So they pick RVD to put him out there with? Isn’t that a form of enabling? Eddie punches him during the finger pointing and we’re off fast. Van Dam kicks his head off and hits the big monkey flip. Heel trip gets two. Eddie hits a good dragon screw leg whip and pounds on Rob in the corner.

Van Dam comes back with some kicks and a floatover suplex for two. Rob goes up and gets crotched but manages to guillotine Eddie on the top rope, followed by a top rope kick. The cartwheel into the moonsault gets two. They trade rollups and head to the floor with Van Dam hitting a moonsault off the apron. The spinning leg to the back of Eddie puts Guerrero down and they head back inside where the champion gets two. Rolling Thunder gets knees and Eddie takes over again.

Tilt-a-whirl puts Van Dam down and a belly to back suplex gets two. Surfboard with the neck crank goes on but Eddie lets it go. Now it’s a Gory Stretch but Van Dam counters into a sunset flip for two. Eddie climbs the ropes into a perfect rana for two. He suplexes RVD and calls for the Frog Splash but Rob pops up to kick the knees out. Eddie this a WICKED sunset bomb out of the corner for two. Van Dam kicks him to the floor and Eddie grabs the belt. After a quick ref bump, Eddie hits a neckbreaker onto the title. Frog Splash gives us a new champion.

Rating: B-. Another good match here as again, the idea of talented people getting time makes for a good match. Eddie getting a title back after being here a month after a long time away due to personal issues is a stretch, but he would do pretty well in this role. Good match here and the ending worked pretty well.

We recap Austin vs. Undertaker. Both guys had to qualify for this by beating Hall and Van Dam respectively. Austin had Stunned Flair because that’s what he does and Undertaker had feuded with Flair before this match. There’s your wild card.

Steve Austin vs. Undertaker

Winner gets the title match next month and Flair is guest referee, wearing some red boots under his referee gear. Even Lawler says it looks bad. Flair is Raw owner here if that clears anything up. Undertaker hits a shoulder block to put Austin on the floor. Back in and a shoulder doesn’t work on Taker at all. Taker is coming off like a face here, which he certainly isn’t. Austin responds by checking his watch and doing push-ups. Ok then.

Austin finally goes off with a forearm to the head and there’s a middle finger for Taker. He offers a test of strength and flips Taker off again. Austin goes technical with an armdrag and a drop toehold. He works on Taker’s arm for a bit and avoids a right hand. Austin chops away in the corner but Taker clotheslines him down for two. Old School gets two but Austin hits the Thesz Press and the Screw You Elbow for two of his own.

Out to the floor and Austin rams him into the table. Taker shrugs that off and sends Austin into the table. Austin fires off right hands and knocks him into the crowd but only the front row. Back to ringside and Austin’s piledriver attempt is countered and the fight continues. Here’s the NWO because who could get along without them? The fans are all over Pac already as Austin is sent into the steps.

They finally get back in the ring but not before Taker drops a leg on Austin’s back while on the apron. Taker goes after the knee and drops some elbows on it. Off to a leg lock but Austin grabs the rope. Taker gouges at the head of Austin as this is getting way more time than I expected it to. Well not really as I knew how long it would get but you know what I meant. Austin fires off some punches but gets drilled down again for two. The NWO is still in the aisle and Pac has Kane’s mask on which looks very stupid.

Taker hits his high clothesline for two and it’s time for some choking. Austin comes back with a lot of punches and stomps in the corner but runs into an elbow in the corner. Tombstone is countered and Austin shoves Undertaker into Flair by mistake. Stunner puts taker down but there’s no referee. You know, because Undertaker running into Flair would knock him out like any other referee.

With Flair down, Taker hits Austin low and loads up the chokeslam which only gets two. Flair counts very slowly. Taker brings in a chair but Flair takes it away, allowing Austin to hit a low blow. That doesn’t really get sold at all as Undertaker hits a big boot for two. Spinebuster gets two for Austin. Stunner is countered and Austin is rammed into Flair again. Taker hits a chair shot but the count is slow so it’s only two.

Austin puts on a Dragon Sleeper of all things but it’s quickly broken up. It’s Mudhole Stomping time and Austin picks up the chair. Taker kicks it into his face and gets the pin, despite Austin having his foot on the rope. The story would become that Flair didn’t see it, which would be good, IF HE HADN’T CLEARLY LOOKED OVER HIS SHOULDER TO MAKE SURE THE FOOT WAS ON THE ROPE BEFORE HE COUNTED.

Rating: C. This wasn’t too bad and at twenty seven minutes, that’s pretty impressive for these two that had a lot of bad chemistry. This would turn into Flair vs. Austin which would be so stupid that Austin would leave for eight months. This was more long than good, but sometimes that’s enough to get by.

Austin Stuns Taker post match. Why was the NWO out there? They never did a single thing.

Coach tells Flair about the foot on the ropes and we get a clip of it. Flair is upset and walks away.

Tag Titles: Billy/Chuck vs. Maven/Al Snow

Snow and Maven clear the ring to start and Snow puts on a headband. Maven and Chuck officially get us going but it’s off to Billy very fast. Billy and Chuck are champions in case you’re really new at this. Maven comes back with a DDT but can’t make the tag. Snow is like screw it and runs in to beat on Billy. Off to Snow who cleans a house which wasn’t that dirty in the first place.

Snow gets taken down by Chuck and the beating begins. Swinging neckbreaker gets two for Billy. The fans tell Rico that he’s gay. Billy misses a corner splash and it’s hot tag to Maven. He hits the one move he was good at, the dropkick, to send Billy to the floor. Snow gets caught by a superkick but Rico accidentally kicks Chuck’s head off. Top rope cross body gets two for Maven. Snow has to chase Rico so Chuck kicks Maven’s head off to retain.

Rating: D. Not much here but it was happening to bridge the two main events which was fine. Billy and Chuck would crank up the overtones soon enough while Maven and Snow wouldn’t go anywhere as a team, or alone for that matter. There isn’t much to say about this match because it was only there to fill in time, which is understandable. More Rico would have helped.

We recap HHH vs. Hogan. Basically Vince made Hogan #1 contender and HHH is ready to mow him down. It’s face vs. face here and we get the music video treatment with the rare song that fits. It’s Young Grow Old by Creed.

WWF Undisputed Title: Triple H vs. Hulk Hogan

Feeling out process to start with both guys shoving the other down. The fans are all behind Hogan here. We do the test of strength and HHH puts him down but Hogan comes back and tries to put HHH down, but the champ pops Hogan in the face with an elbow. Top wristlock goes on but Hogan shoves him off and poses. HHH finally goes off on him, pounding Hogan down in the corner.

Hogan backdrops HHH down and comes back with clotheslines and punches in the corner. HHH gets in some punches but gets backdropped over the top to the floor. The Game gets sent into the barricade and suplexed to put both guys down. Back in the ring and HHH takes over again, but the Pedigree is countered into a slingshot and rollup for two. A suplex is countered and HHH goes after the big knee brace of Hogan.

The knee gets wrapped around the post as HHH channels his inner Flair. He lays on the leg for a hold and cranks on the knee gently. HHH completes the Flair love with a Figure Four (wrong leg so it gets even more points). Hogan makes the ropes so it’s off to a sleeper which devolves into a chinlock. This match is so boring.

Hogan breaks out of that by Hulking Up and hits the big boot and legdrop, but here’s Jericho to pull the referee out and hit Hogan with a chair to the head. HHH beats up Jericho and now it’s time for the proper Hulk Up. The big leg misses and HHH hits a Pedigree for two because Undertaker comes out and breaks up the pin. Taker cracks HHH with the chair and tries to put Hogan on top but Hulk beats up Taker, allowing Hogan to drop the leg for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. Hogan’s reaction for winning the title was decent, but MAN this match was boring. They got 22 minutes and most of it was Hogan laying around, which is what you would come to expect from a match like this. They changed the title a month after Wrestlemania which is kind of stupid in the first place, but thankfully they changed it to Taker a month later. Bad match but the fans liked it so maybe that makes up for it.

Hogan and HHH do the big dramatic handshake to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I watched most of this show last night and I don’t remember the vast majority of it. That’s the problem with this show: it’s not interesting or memorable at all. There are some good matches here, but the show comes off as very flat and boring for the most part. Angle vs. Edge was good and the IC Title match was solid, but there’s nothing here really worth seeing. It’s not a bad show but it’s pretty much just there. The show isn’t worth seeing at all and it’s a start of a bad stretch for the company.

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Date: April 30, 2000
Location: MCI Center, Washington, DC
Attendance: 17,867
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler