Monday Night Raw – April 27, 2015: King Me!

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 27, 2015
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Booker T.

We’re past Extreme Rules but the more interesting story is the return of the King of the Ring tournament. The tournament is back for the first time in seven years with the finals being held tomorrow night during a Network special. Other than that we have all the Extreme Rules fallout to get through. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here are the King of the Ring brackets.

Dean Ambrose

Sheamus

Neville

Luke Harper

R-Truth

Stardust

Dolph Ziggler

Bad News Barrett

Rollins, Kane and the Stooges open us up. Rollins brags about what he did last night and runs down his resume in recent weeks. It was clear that Rollins was going to win from the start last night and the SKO (yes SKO) out of nowhere was a nice touch. Seth says you need good soldiers and thanks Kane for his help, but the monster isn’t happy with that. After some yelling and comparing Rollins to Justin Bieber, here’s Randy Orton to interrupt.

Randy gets right to the point: due to Rollins cheating last night, it’s time for a rematch. This brings out Roman Reigns who seems to think he has a case for a title shot as well. While standing on the announcers’ table, Roman talks about their history together and thinks it’s his turn for a shot at the title. Rollins says no but Kane says it’s going to be up to the WWE Universe.

King of the Ring First Round: Dolph Ziggler vs. Bad News Barrett

Before the match, Ziggler swears payback on Sheamus. Perhaps at Payback? Barrett punches him into the corner to start and kicks Ziggler in the face. A quick dropkick puts Bad News on the floor and we take a break. Back with Barrett kicking him in the face and knocking him to the floor. Ziggler is right back in there though and counters Winds of Change into the running DDT.

Barrett gets back up in a hurry though and gets two off Wasteland. The Bull Hammer is countered with a superkick for two but here’s Sheamus with stills of the post match humiliation from last night. The distraction works as Barrett Bull Hammers Dolph from the apron to advance at 8:24.

Rating: D+. As is so often the case, not enough time means not much of a match. This is a common occurrence in tournaments: you have to get so many matches in that you have to keep things moving, meaning there’s no time to get anywhere with a lot of them. You can pretty much pencil in Ziggler returning the favor later on.

Here’s New Day for Big E.’s match, but before the match, Woods wants to thank all of the clappers out there. It’s not just a New Day, but it’s time for a new clap, so try this one on: New Day ROCKS! You can imagine the fans’ reaction.

Big E. vs. Tyson Kidd

Kidd goes right after Big E. to start but slingshots onto E.’s shoulders. Tyson quickly escapes though and kicks Big E. in the head before stomping to the beat of the chants in the corner. A running kick to the face from the apron knocks E. down again but Big E. hits a clothesline with Woods holding Kidd’s foot for the pin at 1:25.

Ryback vs. Bo Dallas

Before the match, Bo gives Ryback one chance to walk away before the beating begins, but he makes sure to insult the Packers fans in the audience. After a GO PACK GO chant, Ryback slugs Bo down but Dallas gets in a series of forearms to the back for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Ryback destroys him with a spinebuster. The Meat Hook and Shell Shock are enough for the pin at 2:06.

Post match we’ve got Wyatt in the ring to stare down Ryback and hit a quick Sister Abigail. I can dig this feud, and no I don’t think we’re seeing/need a Bo Dallas/Bray Wyatt connection.

Here’s Cena for this week’s open challenge. Last night he was on a high after defending the title against Rusev again, but then he saw Rusev and Lana announce one more match for the title. It’s an I Quit match at Payback, which sounds right up Cena’s alley. He’ll never say he quits, but he if does, there’s no rematch because Cena couldn’t face himself anymore. As for tonight though, the challenge is open.

US Title: Heath Slater vs. John Cena

Slater has a mic with him and says he’ll win the title tonight and become the US Champion of the world. He talks about recreating Aaron Rogers’ Discount Double Check but gets kicked in the head by Rusev. Lana comes out waving but gets sent to the back as Rusev rants about the fans giving up already. No match. The Russian flag drops, which makes Cena get all serious. Why doesn’t he just talk to the production staff and not let them put the flag in place?

Kane explains that the fans can vote for who faces Rollins on the WWE App, sending Rollins into a frenzy. He threatens to call HHH or Stephanie so Kane gives the fans the option of making it a triple threat. Seth is livid.

King of the Ring First Round: R-Truth vs. Stardust

Truth wants to win so he can get rid of all spiders. Stardust wants to become King of the Stars. The Cody chants start up as Stardust nails him in the jaw coming out of the corner and stomps Truth in the back. A chinlock keeps things slow and Stardust busts out a cartwheel. Booker: “Why?” Truth comes back but misses the ax kick. They trade rollups for two each until the Disaster Kick is countered into Little Jimmy (called the Lie Detector) for the pin at 3:52.

Rating: D+. Yeah whatever. Truth was the obvious winner as soon as Barrett won, which is one of the things that gets old in a hurry about tournaments. Once one guy wins, it’s almost obvious who is going to win the next match because some matches just aren’t going to happen. Nothing to see here with an obvious winner.

Fandango vs. Adam Rose

Fandango starts fast by sending Rose to the floor for a big dive, only to be distracted by Rosa Mendes, who was disguised as a Rosebud. The surprise allows Rose to hit the Party Foul for the pin at 1:50.

Rosa can’t believe Fandango picked the fans over her and kisses Rose. This is the latest story that people aren’t going to care about and is going to be a waste of time.

We go to Renee Young with Brie Bella, who is WAY too happy to be discussing her husband’s health. Renee brings up Bryan and the smile goes away. Did they just not tell her what they were talking about? They want Bryan back in the ring and are so grateful for the fans’ support, but Naomi comes up and shoves her down. No one cares about Brie or Bryan apparently.

Naomi vs. Brie Bella

That’s a very quickly signed match. Naomi gets in a cheap shot from behind to start, followed by a hard forearm to the face. Thankfully Nikki is on the floor so we don’t have COME ON BRIE in a mic this week. Brie comes back with a running faceplant and BRIE MODE. The middle rope dropkick gets two but Naomi gets a horrible looking small package (Brie’s shoulder wasn’t being touched and there was no reason she couldn’t raise it off the mat) for the pin at 3:40.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing to see, but my goodness how much easier are the Divas to sit through when the stories are a bit more logical? Naomi is a jerk and attacked Brie when she was talking about her injured husband. That minute long segment set up the match and made perfect sense. Why is that so hard to do so often?

King of the Ring First Round: Dean Ambrose vs. Sheamus

Dean’s decrees if he becomes King: remove all tariffs on ale, ban pop-country and have all disputes settled in street fights. They shove each other into the corner to start until Sheamus drops Dean with a shoulder. Dean takes him to the mat and ties up the legs to try a wrestling match, earning him a right hand to the face. Dean’s bulldog is countered but he hits a forearm to send Sheamus outside as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus hitting his release suplex slam. Ambrose finally scores with the rebound clothesline and both guys are down. Back up and the Brogue Kick misses, allowing Dean to send him shoulder first into the post. A powerslam from Sheamus looks to set up White Noise but Dean counters into Dirty Deeds, which is countered into the Cloverleaf.

Dean gets to the ropes for the break and has to fight out of the ten forearms. The top rope standing elbow gets two before they fight to the floor with Dean clotheslining him off the announcers’ table. A Brogue Kick out of nowhere nails Ambrose but Dolph runs in for the DQ at 12:41.

Rating: B-. This was rolling along until the obvious ending. As I’ve harped on all night: tournaments are the most predictable thing in wrestling, but fans always clamor for them if you just slap the King of the Ring name tag on there. I was digging the heck out of this match until Ziggler ran in though, which is a shame.

The best part here comes from Dean after the match: “I GET DQ’D FOR THAT???”

Here’s Damien Sandow for his first comments after last week. Three years ago he arrived in the WWE in a blue bathrobe and said he would enlighten everyone. After that he was told he just wasn’t entertaining enough so he started going insane imitating people (complete with stills of some of his better/worse moments, depending on your taste). This culminated in Damien Mizdow, which lost him some respect among his peers but gained him the respect of the WWE Universe, which is more important than anything else he could have. He isn’t sure where he goes from here, but Curtis Axel comes out to help guide him a bit.

Axel can’t stand someone not knowing who they are and trying to be someone else. So WHATCHA GONNA DO…..but Sandow cuts him off by imitating everything Axel says like a four year old does and eventually punches Axel out and drops the Wind Up Elbow and a legdrop for good measure.

Bray Wyatt talks about learning to play with fire but doesn’t know if Ryback will ever learn. Will Ryback ever learn, or will he always be obsessed with himself? Ryback is transparent and Bray knows what scares him. Tonight was only the beginning so run.

Tough Enough audition tapes.

King of the Ring First Round: Neville vs. Luke Harper

Neville grabs a headscissors to start and kicks Harper to the floor, setting up a hurricanrana off the apron. Back in and Harper knocks a springboarding Neville out of the air for two to take over as we go to a break. Back with Neville fighting out of a chinlock and kicking Harper to the floor for a top rope Asai Moonsault to drop Harper again.

Neville gets two off a standing shooting star but Harper just kicks him in the face and plants him with a half nelson suplex. The big sitout powerbomb gets two for Harper and the fans think this is awesome. They head to the corner with Neville kicking him in the head, setting up a sunset bomb from Neville. The Red Arrow connects for the pin to send Neville to the semi-finals at 10:17.

Rating: B. That was by far and away the best match of the night for multiple reasons, but above all else it was due to the match being a tossup. I could have seen either guy going over here and that makes things far more interesting. Good stuff here with Neville’s rocket push working more and more every week.

Here are the final four.

Barrett

R-Truth

Neville

Sheamus

Roman Reigns/Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins/Kane

Reigns takes Rollins into the corner to start so Randy can kick him in the ribs. Rollins bails to the floor so it’s off to Reigns vs. Kane with the former planting him with a side slam. Back to Kane who pulls Orton into the corner for some stomping as JBL won’t shut up about how unfair the idea of a triple threat is. We take a break and come back with Rollins holding Orton in a chinlock.

That goes as far as a chinlock is going to go as Orton fights up with a t-bone suplex, setting up the tags to the power guys. Roman fires off clotheslines in the corner, capped off by a big one from the middle rope as everything breaks down. The Authority is sent to the floor but Mercury break up the big dive. Roman follows Joey around and winds up walking into an uppercut from Kane to take over again. Reigns wins a slugout with Rollins so the champ kicks him in the face for two.

Kane scores with the side slam for two before putting on a bearhug. The slow beating continues until Roman finally slams Rollins down, allowing for the hot tag to Orton. Everything breaks down again and Reigns powers out of a chokeslam, only to have Rollins dropkick Kane by mistake.

Mercury is thrown into Kane, allowing Orton to hit the elevated DDT on Seth. The RKO is countered into a rollup, followed by the low superkick to knock Randy to the floor. Seth tries a suicide dive but hits Kane, sending the monster into a rage against the Stooges. An uppercut drops Rollins and it’s the Superman Punch into the RKO for the pin on the champ at 18:38.

Rating: C+. Longer than it needed to be here but the ending did what it was supposed to. At least Kane isn’t going to be added into the title picture, but it’s not the most interesting story in the world regardless. Reigns getting back into the title hunt is a good idea though and it sets up a more interesting match at Payback.

Triple threat gets 78% of the poll. This would be more surprising if WWE hadn’t spoiled the results last week. Rollins eats a spear to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show wasn’t the best but it had two major stories going on at the same time. The tournament was the standard for a first round of a tournament and the poll results were never in doubt, but they kept the show moving enough with far more action than talking, which is more important than anything else. Good enough show here as they’re finding a good balance to make things work and get through these never ending rematches.

Results

Bad News Barrett b. Dolph Ziggler – Bull Hammer

Big E. b. Tyson Kidd – Clothesline with Woods holding the foot

Ryback b. Bo Dallas – Shell Shock

R-Truth b. Stardust – Little Jimmy

Naomi b. Brie Bella – Small package

Sheamus b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Dolph Ziggler interfered

Randy Orton/Roman Reigns b. Kane/Seth Rollins – RKO to Rollins

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


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WWE Releases King of the Ring Brackets

I’ve seen worse.Dean Ambrose
Sheamus

Neville
Luke Harper

R-Truth
Stardust

Dolph Ziggler
Bad News Barrett

 

Not bad other than basically giving Barrett/Ziggler a bye into the finals.  I’m assuming it winds up with Sheamus vs. Ziggler again because WWE loves their rematches.




Daniel Bryan Out Of Extreme Rules, Neville To Replace Him

In a non-title match on the pre-show.  Wasn’t the Tag Team Title match on the pre-show already?  If there are two matches there, we have a six match pay per view card.  That’s an awfully thin show, but maybe Nikki vs. Naomi can go 15 minutes or so.




Extreme Rules 2015 Preview

This isn’t going to be the longest one in the world as NorCal and I already did the full podcast preview for this show. In case you didn’t listen to that show for some reason (and you should. Check it and the other episodes here http://mightynorcal.podbean.com/), here’s a shorter than normal version.

On the pre-show, I’ll take Cesaro and Kidd to retain the Tag Team Titles. Cesaro and Kidd have been on fire with the belts and there’s no real need to give the belts to New Day, who can stay over as heels for six months on that clap alone. I like New Day, but they don’t need the belts yet.

Rollins over Orton in the Kane Show with Orton and Rollins as the backup players. I’m almost sure Orton will hit an RKO or two but Kane will somehow screw him over, because NO ONE would see a swerve like that coming because the Authority is just so much smarter than we all are. My interest in this match fell through the floor when Kane became involved and that’s not how you want your first title defense to go.

Cena retains of course in probably the most brutal match on the show. Those two are going to beat the fire out of each other and probably go on to have yet another match, which will only make Rusev look all the lamer. It’s a shame too as the guy has shown he can hang in there with the top guys, but since we NEED a tetralogy instead of just the regular trilogy. Also, can we please find a different way to end the match instead of Cena following him around?

I don’t think Bryan is going to be able to go, meaning it should be Neville getting the shot. Who will it be though? Probably Truth or Ryder or one of the other designated losers. Barrett walks out with the belt either way, but my goodness do they really have to wait until the day of the show to announce that Bryan is hurt? Barring a shocker, they’ve known for a week and should just announce it instead of jerking the fans around with their “well he MIGHT be there!”

Sheamus beats Ziggler in the stupidest gimmick of the night that I’d assume only Vince and Dunn find funny.

Nikki retains the Divas Title. All hail the Bellas and forever praise be their names, even if it defeats the purpose of turning Naomi heel, which defeats the purpose of common sense as she wrestles the natural face style but they decided to turn all the Divas heel for some reason.

Reigns over Big Show to FINALLY END THIS STUPID STUPID FEUD THAT WAS DEAD FIVE MONTHS AGO BUT LET’S JUST KEEP THEM FIGHTING BECAUSE BIG SHOW IS BIG AND THAT MEANS FANS WANT TO SEE REIGNS BEAT HIM UP EVEN THOUGH SHOW BEAT HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME IN WWE BECAUSE HE’S BIG AND THEREFORE INTERESTING!

And Ambrose over Harper in what should be a hot opener.

Overall this show doesn’t have me all that fired up, but it’s usually a sleeper hit. If they let the violence get cranked up, they can overcome the lame build but it’s going to take some work. As usual, this is the Wrestlemania rematch show and you almost have to have the gimmicks to keep it from being Wrestlemania Part II.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


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Smackdown – April 23, 2015: Why Go Extreme When You Can Go Better Than Average?

Smackdown
Date: April 23, 2015
Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton

It’s the final show before Extreme Rules and for some reason in 2015, one of the major stories is Kane seemingly about to turn on the Authority and becoming a bigger deal than he is now. Of course it’s possible that it’s all a swerve and Kane will cost Orton the title match on Sunday, making the last few weeks a big waste of time, much like Kane in general. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence opens, as is its custom.

Here are Rollins and the Stooges to open things up. After a recap of everything that happened on Monday with the RKO’s all around, Rollins mocks the RKO OUTTA NOWHERE concept. It’s a good thing Orton got all those out of his system because the RKO is banned on Sunday. Speaking of Sunday, Rollins doesn’t need anyone’s help, including an aging former monster’ like Kane.

Strike up the organ of course so Kane can come out and threaten to chokeslam Rollins right now. He can either keep the title on Rollins this Sunday or destroy him right now. Seth laughs it off and says Kane will be fired for crossing the Authority. HHH only gave Kane that job to make him feel better because Kane is just a suit these days. Kane obeying the Authority is what’s best for business.

Seth brings up Kane laying down and says that’s what he should be doing, but Kane thinks Seth should lay down for him right now. He’ll even make it non-title. A referee comes down and we get a bell. Rollins says this isn’t right but Kane says he’s the Authority tonight. The threat of disembowelment convinces Seth to lay down but as Kane goes to cover him, he says he’s just kidding and helps Seth up.

However, Kane isn’t done yet as he makes Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose RIGHT NOW. Ambrose comes running out but Luke Harper follows, setting up a big beatdown on Dean. With things going bad, Roman Reigns comes out for the save, chasing off Rollins and Harper with Superman Punches.

Dolph Ziggler/Neville vs. Bad News Barrett/Sheamus

On the way to the ring, Sheamus says it’s an insult to have underdogs like the men in the ring compared to real men like them. He even offers to bring Ziggler a stepladder to help Ziggler kiss up to him on Sunday. Neville starts with Sheamus and starts kicking away at the leg, followed by a running hurricanrana to send Sheamus outside. Barrett gets sent out as well and Neville hits a big running flip to take them both down.

Back from a break with Barrett holding Neville in a chinlock before Sheamus drops him with a release suplex. Neville finally fights up and kicks Sheamus in the head, allowing the hot tag to Ziggler. The jumping elbow and running DDT get two each on Barrett but a Sheamus distraction lets Barrett hit a quick Wasteland for two more. Ziggler spins around the shoulders though, setting up a Zig Zag into the Red Arrow for the pin on Barrett at 8:39.

Rating: C. This was a nice way to set things up, but again, well done on having a guy who might be winning the Intercontinental Title in three days look bad. That being said, it’s really nice to see Neville get yet another pin over a big name. Even though everyone pins Barrett, it’s still the biggest fall of Neville’s career.

We get the Tough Enough announcement and see some of the best/worst video submissions so far. Yeah fine. Just let me know when the winner (other than John Morrison) means anything.

Bray Wyatt says someone’s strength is an illusion, just like anyone else. He sees right through this person because fear is the same for every man. Bray will expose him as a weakling very soon. How does life work for a butterfly with no wings?

Naomi vs. Natalya

I guess Natalya is a face again. Naomi slugs her down to start and catapults Natayla throat first into the bottom rope for two. A chinlock doesn’t last long so Naomi drops an elbow, only to miss a legdrop. Natalya does the stepover into the dropkick, only to walk into the Rear View for the pin at 2:28. As usual, the week to week continuity dominates the Divas.

The next target for the Prime Time Players is the Tag Team Champions. Kidd is whipped and Cesaro is interesting. Why is he interesting? Well…..uh…..you see……he’s German! Uh I mean Swiss, but it’s the same thing.

Ryback vs. Rusev

Jobber entrance for Rusev but Lana gives a speech about the strength of the Russian chain, which has protected the greatest of Russia for years. Rusev says the chain is his weapon and a burden to Cena, to whom no mercy will be shown. They stare each other down to start before locking up with Rusev shoving him into the corner. Ryback nails a running clothesline for two and the Russian is stunned. A delayed suplex puts Rusev down again but he rolls to the floor before Ryback can stay on him.

Back in and Ryback misses a charge into the post, sending us to a break. We come back with Rusev putting on a quickly broken bearhug. Ryback fires off some right hands and gets two off a belly to belly, only to splash legs. The Meat Hook and jumping superkick are countered but the second Meat Hook connects. Rusev slips out of a Shell Shock though and heads outside, where he hits Ryback in the ribs with the chain for the DQ at 9:57.

Rating: C-. Take two guys and let them beat on each other for a few minutes. It’s a strategy that has worked for years and it worked well enough here. This was a pretty good way to make Rusev look like a killer again, even if it’s just a way to set him up again to be destroyed by Cena.

Ryback gets the Accolade with the chain around the face.

Jamie Noble isn’t worried about Harper because it turns out they’re cousins. Harper comes up in his usual trance and Noble tries to get his attention, but Harper is annoyed that they broke his concentration. He was thinking of all the ways he can hurt people you see.

Kofi Kingston vs. Cesaro

Before the match, the New Day blames the lack of positivity in WWE on the lack of clapping. Have no fear because New Day is here! Woods says they’re like medicine: they may not taste good going down, but they’re the right thing for you. Kofi goes on a rant about how the WWE isn’t listening to them but soon enough they will embrace the New Day. They’re kind of awesome at this.

The fans aren’t pleased and chant their version of the catchphrase. A dropkick puts Cesaro down to start but he uppercuts Kofi into the Swing, only to have everyone else brawl on the floor. Trouble in Paradise hits out of nowhere for the pin at 1:30. That’s not as bad as it’s not a tag match loss.

Big Show has had enough of Roman Reigns and is ready to expose him for what he is.

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins/Luke Harper

Kane is at ringside. Ambrose and Harper get things going with Dean taking him down to the mat and ripping at Harper’s face. Off to Reigns for a stomping in the corner before Dean gets another tag and hits a basement clothesline. Harper finally gets Ambrose into the corner for a tag to the champ to take over. A headlock into a front facelock keep Dean in trouble before Rollins throws him to the floor for a big boot from Harper.

We take a break and come back with Dean fighting out of a chinlock but having to DDT Harper instead of tagging. Seth comes back in to break up the hot tag attempt with a clothesline before both guys try cross bodies. The double tag brings in the power guys with Roman cleaning house but having to Superman Punch the Stooges off the apron. Harper takes one as well before Dean nails Rollins with the top rope standing elbow.

Luke partially blocks Dean’s suicide dive and sends him over the timekeeper’s area, only to eat a clothesline from Reigns. Rollins comes back in with the springboard knee for two and it’s the discus lariat for two. Dean comes in off the hot tag to clean house. The rebound clothesline puts Rollins down and Dean low bridges Harper to the floor. Dean dives on the pile at ringside, only to have Kane throw Rollins back inside, allowing Reigns to hit the spear on Rollins for the pin at 16:44.

Rating: B. This was a much better main event tag than I was expecting. I’m not wild on the champion getting pinned but that’s one of those things you learn to live with in WWE. It’s also par for the course for this title reign but that’s another story for another time. Anyway, good, long tag match here which was better than I was expecting.

Overall Rating: C+. Pretty fun show tonight with a good main event to carry things. Extreme Rules isn’t the most interesting card in the world but a lot of that is due to the show just being a bunch of Wrestlemania rematches. The direction of a lot of things is still questionable but at least we had a fun two hour show to get us to the pay per view.

Results

Dolph Ziggler/Neville b. Bad News Barrett/Sheamus – Red Arrow to Barrett

Naomi b. Natalya – Rear View

Ryback b. Rusev via DQ when Rusev hit him with a chain

Kofi Kingston b. Cesaro – Trouble in Paradise

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Seth Rollins/Luke Harper – Spear to Rollins

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – April 16, 2015: Mind the Goat

Smackdown
Date: April 16, 2015
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton

It’s time for the last TV show of the European tour. You can see most of the Extreme Rules card from here as a lot of the stipulations have been announced. The main event will see Randy Orton challenging Seth Rollins inside a cage with the RKO banned. A few things still need to be filled in on the card though as we’ve got less than two weeks to go. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s John Cena to open things up. Why is he always surprised that a British crowd is booing a loud American talking about how great his country is and bragging about being the champion of his country? After a quick look at Rusev’s attack on Monday, Cena goes over the rules of the Russian chain match, which is the four corners version. There’s a chance that he won’t even be in it though because he’s issuing another open challenge RIGHT NOW.

He gets Cesaro/Kidd/Natalya, but they’re not here to accept the challenge. Instead, they’re here to drop FACTS. Cena has been out here pandering to the crowd (fact!) and saying London deserves a Wrestlemania (fact!) but that’s a blatant lie. They think the “please retire” chants should have been directed at Cena, which the fans here don’t seem to agree with. Cena tells either guy to bring it on but cue Daniel Bryan to even things up.

Bryan has heard Cesaro and Kidd calling themselves the greatest champions in WWE today but he’d like to ask the fans what they think. When he gets to himself he changes it to being the most handsome man in WWE. That gets a mixed reaction, so Bryan just asks for the tag match to get the fans back on his side. Kidd quickly accepts so we can have the Tag Team Champions lose twice in four days. As a consolation prize, they’ve got something with that FACT line.

Neville vs. Sheamus tonight. That would be the third World Champion he’s fought out of the four opponents he’s faced.

Bray Wyatt vs. R-Truth

Lawler calls this a rare in ring appearance for Wyatt. That’s true as it’s been a whole week since we last saw him wrestle on Smackdown. Truth hammers away and actually puts Bray down. We get the pelvic thrust but Bray spiders up and nails an uppercut. The chokeslam is countered so Wyatt just runs him over and hits Sister Abigail for the pin at 1:38. That’s the fifth time Bray has squashed Truth on TV in just over a year.

We look back at the Divas battle royal on Monday and Naomi jumping Paige post match, sending her off to film a movie.

This week’s WWE.com interview is with Roman Reigns, who says he’s going to get back up every time Big Show puts him down. He’s speaking in just above a whisper.

Here’s Miz with something to say. Mizdow got lucky on Monday because he made Mizdow what he is, just like he made Summer Rae and the Marine 4 into a soon to be success. Cue Bad News Barrett who says we’re in London tonight. The fans aren’t here to see a pretend movie star, because they want to see the future six time Intercontinental Champion.

Miz vs. Bad News Barrett

Miz spends 27 seconds taking off his sunglasses and turns into the Bull Hammer for the pin at 34 seconds. I think the fans have forgotten Monday’s loss to Cena.

We recap Orton and Rollins on Raw with both guys winning matches to earn a stipulation for the title match at Extreme Rules.

Damien Mizdow and Summer Rae are with Renee Young and celebrate the win on Monday when Miz comes in. He isn’t cool with Mizdow using his gimmick, but Summer says Mizdow does Miz better than Miz. Mizdow takes off his sunglasses and starts imitating Miz again before challenging Miz to one more match on Monday for the whole Miz character. Summer talks Miz into taking the match, pretty much guaranteeing that she turns on Mizdow. She slaps him for good measure.

Sheamus vs. Neville

Neville is now billed as sensational. Before the match, Sheamus says Neville is a tiny little man, just like Daniel Bryan and Dolph Ziggler. He brags about being from the real Ireland and his people don’t like the English. Neville puts the mouthpiece in and is shoved into the corner for some forearms to the back. Some front flips give Neville some room to hit a running hurricanrana to send Sheamus outside for a twisting flip dive.

Back in and Sheamus rolls away before Neville can try the Red Arrow. Instead Neville dives at Sheamus but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl slam on the floor. Back with Neville fighting out of a chinlock but Sheamus picks him up for a suplex and just throws him down in a big crash. The Irish Curse plants Neville and we hit another chinlock. This one doesn’t last as long though and Neville avoids a charge, sending Sheamus’ shoulder into the post. A running kick to the face and the standing moonsault get two for Neville and Sheamus is staggered.

Neville breaks up the ten forearms and ducks a Brogue Kick before hitting a missile dropkick. A kick to the head in the corner sets up the Red Arrow but it’s a middle rope Phoenix Splash for two more instead. Now he goes up for the Red Arrow but gets crotched down, but Neville counters White Noise into a sunset flip for two. Back up and Sheamus clotheslines him out to the floor and drops him onto the announcers’ table for the DQ at 10:53.

Rating: B. I liked this far more than I was expecting to as Neville continues to be one of the best pushed rookies in a long time. A few months back, the rumors came in that he was going to be Mighty Mouse and I think people too that too literally. They saw it as something like the Hurricane when it was really going to be more like what Superstar Bill Dundee saw himself as: a guy who was about 5’7 but saw himself as 6’4.

Neville is a small guy who has been thrown out there with three World Champions and a former Intercontinental Champion but hasn’t backed down an inch. If they keep this up and have him start winning some of these matches, such as this one here, fans are going to stop seeing him as an underdog and start seeing him as an equal. In other words, they’re going past the period of wasting him in squash matches and throw him right into the big time. You don’t see that too often these days but it might work wonders for him.

The key here though was Sheamus didn’t squash Neville and then lose on a fluke. Neville was going move for move with Sheamus here and had some near falls. It wasn’t like Sheamus hit the Brogue Kick and threw an unconscious Neville over the table for the DQ. Neville came off like he could hang with Sheamus, which is quite the accomplishment for someone headlining NXT house shows a month ago. I’m excited about this guy and he could be something special if this keeps up.

Sheamus throws him back inside and drives knees into his head until Dolph Ziggler comes out for the save. Sheamus bails but Ziggler grabs the mic and says no one from the Germans to the Bronies to the Irish like Sheamus. Ziggler is going to stand up to Sheamus but Sheamus tells him what he can kiss. He means it literally though, because they’re having a Kiss Me Arse match at Extreme Rules. To recap: Neville vs. Sheamus and Ziggler were entertaining matches but the match between the two stars has a comedy stipulation. I think I prefer it that way actually.

Los Matadores vs. New Day

Big E.’s entrance: “OH O2! It may not be the USA but I guess it’ll do!” Diego chops Big E. to start but gets stomped down in the corner. You can tell New Day is officially heel now as they’re in the bottom right hand corner of the ring and that’s where heels always stand. Off to Kofi who walks into a jawbreaker and springboards into a shot to the ribs. Fernando gets two off a rollup and everything breaks down. Trouble in Paradise drops Diego as Torito armdrags Woods. The Midnight Hour ends Fernando at 2:33.

We recap Fandango dumping Rosa.

In the back, Fandango reiterates that Rosa is dumped. He leaves and the Rosebuds run by in a scene that only makes sense in wrestling or on Monty Python. Rose says Rosa can be #1 again in a certain somebody’s life. Think about it.

Here’s Big Show with something to say. This past Monday proved that English people suck because they don’t appreciate the fact that he’s the best giant of all time. No one in the world, including Roman Reigns, can stop him. Show doesn’t answer to anyone but the Authority because he doesn’t see Reigns as anything but a victim of an automobile crash.

This Monday, it was the car getting hit by Reigns and we see a clip of Show throwing him at the car. Then he kneed Roman in the head, complete with clip. The chokeslam on top of the car gets the same treatment to really stretch this out. Show sits on top of the car and shows us a clip of Reigns walking off under his own power. That’s not cool with Big Show, so it’s a last man standing match at Extreme Rules. Man, if there’s one thing that the least interesting feud in the world needed, it was a six minute segment from one of the most boring talkers in years. That’s got my money for sure.

Cameron vs. Alicia Fox vs. Natalya

I sit through a Big Show promo and my reward is a Cameron match??? Cameron gets double teamed to start and knocked to the floor. Fox bails to the ropes to avoid the Sharpshooter but Cameron comes back in with a rollup for two on Natalya. It’s Fox taking over by running over both girls with clotheslines, only to get taken down for Natalya’s stepover into the basement dropkick for two. A superkick drops Cameron for two but she gets in a forearm to Fox’s jaw.

Cameron makes the mistake of going up though and gets caught in the top of a Tower of Doom to put everyone down. Fox is thrown outside, leaving Cameron to trade rollups with Natalya for two each. Believe it or not, Cameron doesn’t horribly botch anything! She’s improving! Natalya puts Cameron in the Sharpshooter, then does the same to Fox, only to break it up to throw Cameron outside. Fox kicks her in the face and nails the ax kick but Cameron throws Fox to the floor and pins Natalya at 4:45.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad but they’re really pushing Cameron as something now? Their idea to make us care about the Divas is to have Cameron and the Bellas getting pushed? Oh and Paige is going on vacation and Naomi is now a heel. Natalya is heel as well so who in the world is left as a face? Alicia? Emma? Summer? I’m blanking on anyone else.

Post match Alicia throws a fit so I guess we really are down to just Emma and Summer (I’m guessing until Monday) as face Divas. Really, who else is there?

Fandango vs. Adam Rose

Fandango scores with an early dropkick and clotheslines Rose to the floor for a slingshot dive. Rosa comes out to yell at Fandango, allowing Rose to baseball slide him down. Back in and Adam looks at Rosa, setting up the rollup to give Fandango the pin at 1:24.

Bray Wyatt asks what happens when you lose it all. Eventually you’re going to be all alone with nothing but regret. You should be more careful because the reaper walks in the daylight.

John Cena/Daniel Bryan vs. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro

Cena and his black eye start against Kidd with John shoving him down. It’s off to Cesaro for a test of strength but Kidd gets in a cheap shot from the apron to take over. He comes back in legally for a front facelock, followed by a spinning kick to the face for two. Cesaro knocks Bryan off the apron to break up a hot tag attempt and gets two off a suplex.

Cena sends Cesaro into the corner and Kidd out to the floor but Tyson pulls Bryan off the apron. The STF on Cesaro is quickly broken up behind the referee’s back and Kidd hits a low dropkick to Cena for two. Cena hits a quick backdrop (totally different than the AA of course) and the hot tag finally brings in Bryan.

A series of right hands sets up the moonsault out of the corner but he hits a running boot through the ropes instead of the Flying Goat to Cesaro. There are the YES Kicks in the corner followed by a top rope hurricanrana for two. Both Tag Team Champs get YES Kicks but Bryan has to yell at Natalya. Kidd accidentally knocks her off the apron and into Cesaro, allowing Bryan to YES Lock Kidd for the win at 7:49.

Rating: C. Oh yeah they’re protecting Bryan. Other than being pulled off the apron and a rollup by Kidd, Bryan was never hit with any offensive moves. About 90% of his offense was strikes and the only high spots were that hurricanrana and the moonsault. The match was fine, but they really had to make the champs lose clean for the second time in a week? You can’t do a countout or something?

Bryan and Cena celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Neville vs. Sheamus was good but this was a very skippable show otherwise. It’s so sad to see Bryan’s neck flaring up so soon and it’s clear he can’t do much at the moment. I thought the worries about the neck were keeping him out of the main event and if that’s the case, WWE seems to have been justified in not going with him so soon.

The rest of the show was nothing much to see, but I’m really interested to see how they get out of this mess with the Divas. Either someone is being called up or Paige is going to be very busy in the near future, as I really don’t think anyone but maybe Emma is still a face on the main roster and most of the heels were recently turned. Nothing show here but Extreme Rules is coming up soon, meaning we can hopefully get away from the Wrestlemania rematches.

Results

Bray Wyatt b. R-Truth – Sister Abigail

Bad News Barrett b. Miz – Bull Hammer

Neville b. Sheamus via DQ when Sheamus threw him ono the announcers’ table

New Day b. Los Matadores – Midnight Hour to Fernando

Cameron b. Alicia Fox and Natalya – Cameron pinned Natalya after an ax kick from Fox

Fandango b. Adam Rose – Rollup

John Cena/Daniel Bryan b. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro – YES Lock to Kidd




Monday Night Raw – April 13, 2015: Show and Tell

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 13, 2015
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield, Booker T

We’re taped from England tonight as the build to Extreme Rules continues. Coming off last week, we know Randy Orton is going to be challenging Seth Rollins for the World Title at the next pay per view but we don’t have much more set up than that. The only match announced so far is a Divas battle royal for the title shot against Nikki Bella. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We open with John Cena to a very loud JOHN CENA SUCKS to the tune of his music. Even Cena seems a bit blown away by how intense it is tonight. Cena brings up the London crowd not liking him all that much but it means they have more energy than any crowd WWE performs for.

He gets them on his side by saying London deserves Wrestlemania and has to pause for the YES chant. Those in charge have decided to wait for a London Wrestlemania, much like Rusev waiting to challenge for the US Title. The open challenge is on right now so here’s Bad News Barrett to a nice reaction to accept. Why wait for his Intercontinental Title shot at Extreme Rules?

US Title: Bad News Barrett vs. John Cena

The fans are almost entirely behind Barrett as he shrugs off a headlock and kicks Cena to the floor. Back in and the champ puts on another headlock so Bad News kicks him in the face again. The knees to the head in the ropes have Cena in even more trouble and Barrett hits another big boot to knock Cena to the floor one more time. Cena comes back with a dropkick and a high cross body for two. He’s been adding more moves lately and it’s always nice to see.

Barrett rolls to the floor to avoid the Shuffle and sends Cena into the steps. A missed top rope elbow lets Cena hit the Shuffle this time but the AA is countered into Winds of Change for two. Cena grabs the STF out of nowhere but Barrett is too close to the ropes. A low superkick gets two for Bad News and both guys are down. Barrett throws him into the corner for another kick to the face, setting up Wasteland for another near fall.

The AA gets two (when was the last time the first one of those pinned someone not named Stardust?) and the Bull Hammer gets the same (when was the last time Cena didn’t kick out of a finisher?), followed by the springboard Stunner into the second AA to retain Cena’s title at 9:55.

Rating: C+. Not bad but it felt like they were going through the motions here more than having a naturally good match. It doesn’t help that it’s clear that Cena is retaining until Extreme Rules, but could you at least make it feel like Barrett has a better chance? Also, stop kicking out of the finisher and having the AA only get two. We get the concept now.

Post match Lana comes out to distract Cena so Rusev can come in and get a cheap shot with a chain. The rematch is officially a Russian chain match.

We recap Orton winning the triple threat last week to get the pay per view title shot.

Orton vs. Cesaro and Rollins vs. Ziggler tonight. If Rollins and/or Orton win, they get to pick the stipulations for Extreme Rules.

Battle Royal

Rosa Mendes, Paige, Naomi, Natalya, Cameron, Summer Rae, Alicia Fox, Emma

Winner gets Nikki Bella at Extreme Rules and the Bellas are on commentary. Everyone pairs off and Rosa actually dropkicks Summer and Natalya, only to get dropkicked out a few seconds later. Another dropkick, this time from Fox, gets rid of Emma. Cameron and Alicia team up to go after Paige and get loudly booed, only to have Paige slide back in. A double Rear View puts Cameron down and Alicia gets rid of Paige, leaving her with Naomi as the final two. They fight to the apron with both coming close to elimination, only to have Paige avoid the Rear View, allowing her to superkick her to the floor at 3:50.

Rating: D-. Well that sucked, just like most Divas battle royals. The Bellas are great at getting on my nerves, but unfortunately they have to get in the ring at some point and that makes things even worse. They’re more annoying than anything else and that’s not what you want as the face of a division. Hopefully Naomi gets back in this as she belongs in the title scene.

Post break Paige reminds us of her success in WWE so far but says nothing feels better than to win this match in England. She remembers getting paid five pounds for a match when she was wrestling in high school gyms but now she’s in front of her family and friends on the biggest stage of them all. Naomi comes back in and lays out Paige before driving her into the barricade.

Bray talks about a certain someone he’s becoming obsessed with and it’s becoming a sin. Love can blind everything and whoever he’s talking about is in luck. Bray has decided to reach inside himself and pull out the love that is growing like a cancer. Fear is stronger than any love can be because it can take away what you care about. Still no word on who he’s talking about.

Lucha Dragons vs. Ascension

These teams just can’t get away from each other. Ascension doesn’t get an entrance but they do share an NXT chant. The big guys throw Cara around to start but a quick hot tag brings in Kalisto to hit his springboard twisting cross body. Cara hits Konnor with a suicide dive, setting up the Salida Del Sol and the Swanton Bomb to pin Viktor at 2:18.

Here’s Roman Reigns for his first interview since Wrestlemania. The fans chant SUPLEX CITY and Reigns remembers going there. He busted Brock up though and gave the fans the fight he and Brock had promised them. This brings interviewer Booker T to Seth Rollins, who Reigns was about to face had it not been for Big Show. Reigns thinks Show has just been following Rollins around lately and the fans seem to agree.

This brings Big Show onto the screen to say he’s loved making Reigns into the biggest failure in WWE history. He’s going to turn him into a football league? It was his pleasure to stop Reigns every week and he’s going to keep doing it every chance he gets. Reigns says Show should come out here and say that to his face so Reigns can shove the trophy down his throat.

Reigns goes to leave but Big Show jumps him, throwing Reigns into parts of the set and against the door of the cab. He adds a chokeslam on top of the cab, which doesn’t give way.

Randy Orton vs. Cesaro

If Orton wins, he gets to pick a stipulation for the World Title match at Extreme Rules. Cesaro takes over with some European uppercuts in the corner and a double stomp for no cover. Kidd is enjoying the match so much that he’s taken his headphones off. We hit the chinlock on Randy but Orton fights up and comes back, only to have Kidd grab his leg for the DQ at 2:19.

Post match Kane comes out and says he’s still in charge because the Authority is back from vacation but don’t want to be in London. He can’t let this match end in a DQ so he’s restarting it as a handicap match.

Cesaro/Tyson Kidd vs. Randy Orton

Orton gets double teamed and we quickly take a break. Back with Cesaro hammering away in the corner before it’s off to Kidd, who launches Orton into a European uppercut for two. Orton fights back but Cesaro pulls his partner to the floor to avoid an RKO. That’s fine with Orton who drops Cesaro back first onto the barricade, only to eat Tyson’s knee to the face. Back in and Kidd’s springboard elbow (love that move) gets two, but Cesaro gets throw to the floor, allowing Orton to catch another springboard in an RKO for the pin on Kidd at 6:46.

Rating: D+. Well Cesaro and Kidd, it was nice while it lasted but you’re now the victims of being Tag Team Champions. I have no idea why we needed to see Orton beat both of them at once, when having him beat either Cesaro or both of them in back to back singles matches would have accomplished the same basic result. But then again, why not have the champions look like losers if you can?

Rollins gets on Kane’s back for Orton winning but Kane tells him to beat Ziggler tonight. Rollins thinks that’s too dangerous, so he’s facing Jamie Noble instead. Noble doesn’t like the idea of laying down when Kane got them into this mess. Kane has another idea involving Jamie’s testicles and a car battery. Rollins backs Noble up and says Kane’s job is to protect the title. Maybe Kane should be the one laying down tonight. If Kane doesn’t like that, maybe they should just call HHH. Notice something here: Seth is emasculating Kane to set up a face turn. Stephanie emasculates people and we never see a comeback.

Adam Rose vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose goes right at him to start but Rose takes it to the mat for a chinlock. That goes nowhere as Dean fights back up with chops and punches before hitting some running forearms. He follows up with a suicide dive and Rose is in big trouble. Back inside and Rose knocks him into the ropes for the rebound clothesline, followed by Dirty Deeds for the pin at 2:08. Nothing match but when was the last time Ambrose won a match clean?

Big Show reminds Kane of Survivor Series where he turned on John Cena. He knows the Authority is the winning side and warns Kane about crossing the Authority. Kane understands and says he’ll do what’s best for business against Rollins.

Fandango vs. Stardust

Well this is…..something. Stardust runs him over to start and tells the fans his name. Fandango goes up but Stardust rolls away and hits the Disaster Kick for the pin at 1:10.

Post match Fandango blames Rosa for the loss and dances on the table to his old music, sending the crowd into a HUGE Fandangoing dance. See, why do this after a loss? Why not have him beat like, Heath Slater without having Rosa out there and say that’s why he hasn’t been winning? Same result, no loss.

Daniel Bryan can’t believe Kane is going to lay down and brings up the Fingerpoke of Doom of all things to say how stupid it was. Kane finally snaps but Bryan tells him to go out there and be a man. For goodness’ sake STOP TALKING ABOUT WCW LIKE IT WAS TRASH. We get it: fourteen years ago you beat a show that wasn’t even on the air six years. LET THE THING DIE ALREADY.

Rusev vs. Cena is officially a Russian chain match.

Seth Rollins vs. Kane

If Rollins wins, he gets to pick a stipulation for the match vs. Rollins at Extreme Rules. Kane is out in a suit but starts disrobing after the bell rings. He gets in Seth’s face but hears that it’s best for business. Kane slowly lays down but stands up, drawing in the Stooges. They’re both thrown to the floor so Rollins yells at him, only to get smacked in the face. Rollins tells him to lay down but eventually eats a chokeslam. Kane signals for the tombstone but stops mid throat slit. He lays down again and pulls Rollins on top of him for the pin at 4:35.

Rating: C+. Well they started slow but that second batch of staring was straight out of Funk vs. Brisco back in 68. Just great stuff there. Unfortunately it was downhill from there and the Stooges interfering ruined what was otherwise great stuff. Still though, that 18 seconds of staring made it work. Good enough match.

Miz vs. Damien Mizdow

Mizdow has Summer Rae with him after kissing her on Smackdown. After spending a minute on the disrobing, Miz jumps Mizdow to get going. A quick Reality Check puts Miz down but neither can hit the Skull Crushing Finale. Instead, Mizdow rolls him up for the pin at 2:10.

This week, the Prime Time Players make fun of Los Matadores by pulling out a stuffed rainbow bear to represent Torito. Young: “Rainbow is my favorite color!” Titus asks why two guys from Puerto Rico are bullfighters. Cue the Millions of Dollars dance. These promos are nothing special, but man alive they’ve actually got me liking the Players a bit. Imagine that: you get to know a wrestler a bit better and you actually have a bit of a connection to them.

Cole calls the announcements of the stipulations the Extreme Decisions and says people have been calling it by that name tonight. WHO IS CALLING IT THAT COLE??? WHO BESIDES YOU HAS CALLED IT THAT IN THE LAST FIFTEEN MINUTES???

Ryback vs. Luke Harper

Ryback hammers away to start but Harper shoves him out of the corner. A superkick drops Ryback though and it’s Gator Roll time. Back up and Harper has to roll away from the Meat Hook so he heads outside, where he nails Ryback with a piece of the announcers’ table for the DQ at 1:50.

Naomi is disappointed in herself for attacking Paige out there but cracks up and says she couldn’t care less. See, it’s all about her not being Divas Champion. Why did they have to have a battle royal tonight after she pinned Nikki twice? She was in the same season of NXT as AJ Lee but AJ is gone and Naomi hasn’t had her chance yet. Why is AJ considered a legend already? It’s time for her to get her shot. Thank goodness it wasn’t another “it’s all about me” character.

Dolph Ziggler questions Kane laying down for Rollins as being best for business. Tonight though, he wants to compete in this ring so it’s open challenge time.

Neville vs. Dolph Ziggler

Good pop for Neville, as usual. A quick wristdrag takes Dolph down and Neville flips into the corner. He takes Dolph down and hits a standing shooting star before slapping on a chinlock. The running DDT plants him for two though and we take a break. Back with Neville throwing Ziggler into the air for a big crash. Dolph makes the mistake of rolling to the floor for a HUGE springboard moonsault and it’s all Neville so far.

Neville slides in but slides right back out, walks the barricade and hits a 450 onto Dolph to really get the crowd into things (with good reason. That looked GREAT). Back in and Neville hits a standing enziguri but charges into a superkick for two. Neville comes back with another kick but can’t hit the Red Arrow. He misses a charge too and the Zig Zag gives Dolph the pin at 9:09.

Rating: B-. Neville is a great guy to have on the roster as he has a good look and can fly all over the place to pop the crowd. The key thing to him is that he doesn’t wrestle like a small guy, but rather a guy who happens to be small. As long as they don’t acknowledge his size too much, it’s never going to be a detriment against him.

Ziggler checks on Neville post match but gets run over by Sheamus. Neville takes a Brogue Kick but Ziggler fights back, only to be taken to the floor for a Brogue Kick of his own.

It’s time for the announcement of the stipulations and Rollins has a La-Z-Boy. The Stooges have their own leather chairs but Orton isn’t impressed. Orton wants to fight right now but Rollins would rather just announce his stipulation: at Extreme Rules, the RKO is banned. Orton likes that thinking and wants to take away Rollins’ best weapon as well. That’s not his speed or intelligence, but rather the Authority. Therefore, it’s a cage match at Extreme Rules, which takes away some of Rollins’ smirk. Orton wants to fight now and cleans house but Rollins runs from a DDT attempt, leaving Mercury to take the RKO to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this show and I’m really liking where things seem to be going at the moment. There’s some questionable stuff for sure, but we’re getting better motivation from wrestlers than we’ve had in a long time. The key to that change: they’re telling us. If there are two things that drives me crazy in wrestling it’s getting no explanation or being told we don’t deserve one. Just something simple like “I don’t like small people” or “I beat the champ twice and should be #1 contender” tell us more than enough to warrant a feud. Keep that up and things will get better every week.

Results

John Cena b. Bad News Barrett – Attitude Adjustment

Paige won a battle royal last eliminating Naomi

Lucha Dragons b. Ascension – Swanton Bomb to Viktor

Randy Orton b. Cesaro via DQ when Tyson Kidd interfered

Randy Orton b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd – RKO to Kidd

Dean Ambrose b. Adam Rose – Dirty Deeds

Stardust b. Fandango – Disaster Kick

Seth Rollins b. Kane – Kane laid down

Damien Mizdow b. Miz – Rollup

Ryback b. Luke Harper via DQ when Harper hit Ryback with the announcers’ table

Dolph Ziggler b. Neville – Zig Zag

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown – April 9, 2015: He Really Is Awesome

Smackdown
Date: April 9, 2015
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

For the second week in a row, the advertised big match is Sheamus/Bad News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler/Daniel Bryan and that’s really all there is to talk about here. Raw ended with Orton becoming #1 contender to Rollins’ title after beating Ryback and Reigns in a triple threat. Tonight we might see the Extreme Rules card take more shape as Smackdown gets to announce a match every now and then. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Daniel Bryan to open things up. He says it was one of the highlights of his career to climb that ladder and win the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania. However, the actions of the man make the title (which says Intercontinental Heavyweight Wrestling Champion. I bet Vince is FURIOUS at the belt over that), so Bryan wants to defend this title against anyone who wants a shot.

That’s what he did after Wrestlemania against Dolph Ziggler, but Sheamus come out looking all stupid with a Brogue Kick to the face. So last week he fought Sheamus, but somewhere in the match he saw Wade (first time hearing that name in a while) Barrett….and now we all see Barrett on the ramp. He says he ended Bryan’s magical week with a Bull Hammer, and the fiendish gleam on Barrett’s face during that line is great. This brings out Sheamus to say he followed it up with a Brogue Kick.

Sheamus tolerates Barrett because he isn’t a munchkin like Bryan, so the two of them should come down there and give Bryan a beating because they can. They get in the ring but Ziggler comes out to call Sheamus the offspring of Captain Jack Sparrow and Carrot Top. The fight is about to be on but here’s Big Show because ruining main events just isn’t enough for him anymore. Big Show wants in on this beatdown but here’s Roman Reigns to even things up. A quick fight likely makes the tag match a six man. I’ll take that over a spontaneous match. They’ve got something with this tag team feud with the title thrown in.

Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. New Day

Non-title with the New Day getting booed out of the building on the entrances. It’s a good sign that WWE has quickly caught onto the reality that no one likes them and is already starting to turn them. There’s an idea to the team but it’s just working as presented. Big E. wants everyone to get up and clap along with them so that’s exactly what they do, but with the SUCKS part added in. That makes Big E. think something has to change and that the fans have to love them. Woods is the odd man out here.

Kofi and Kidd get things going with Tyson taking him into the corner for some forearms before it’s off to Cesaro. He mocks the clapping and gets the crowd going again as the champions are the default good guys here. Kofi low bridges Cesaro to the floor and Big E. launches Kofi to the floor to take out the champs as we take a break. Back with Big E. suplexing Kidd but needing a tag. Cesaro breaks up a tag though and rag dolls Big E. into a gutwrench suplex. That’s scary strength.

Back to Tyson for some knees to the back as Lawler is talking more than I’ve heard him do in months. Big E. finally shoves Cesaro off but misses a charge into the post for two. There’s the Cesaro Swing into the dropkick from Tyson for two more with Kofi making the save. E. knocks Cesaro out of the air and makes the hot tag so Kofi can clean house with dropkicks and shots to the head. The Boom Drop sets up more clapping and sucking as everything breaks down. Kidd grabs a fisherman’s neckbreaker for the pin on Kofi at 10:00.

Rating: C. Not much to see here but it could have been far worse. They need to turn New Day soon and thankfully we seem well on the way to that point. Cesaro and Kidd are starting to establish themselves as a really good heel team, which is something we haven’t seen in a long time.

Recap of Monday’s triple threat and the events that led up to it.

Free Network month shill. Remember when you had to pay for that?

Curtis Axel vs. Neville

In case you didn’t get enough of it the first time ten days ago. Axel wants to know what Neville is going to do when Axelmania runs wild on him. Neville flips around to start and grabs an armdrag but gets caught with a knee to the ribs. Neville’s front flips lead to Axel charging into a boot in the corner, followed by a running forearm. The spinning dive over the ropes takes Axel out again and it’s a slam followed by the Red Arrow for the pin at 2:17. That’s the same match they had on Raw after Wrestlemania.

Natalya, Cameron and Alicia Fox insist they didn’t try to con Kane into the Divas battle royal on Raw. Naomi deserves the shot and all but Cameron says she’s going to win. Alicia asks how long Cameron has been here and it’s been THREE YEARS??? She’s this bad after THREE YEARS??? Alicia and Natalya get in a fight.

Alicia Fox vs. Natalya

Cameron is guest referee so we can see her be horrible at something besides wrestling. To her credit, she found a referee’s cut off top and changed in the span of a commercial. It’s a catfight to start and they trade slaps until Cameron breaks up a fight next to the ropes. Natalya does her step over into the dropkick spot for two but Fox hits something like the Helluva Kick to take over. Fox’s northern lights suplex gets the same and we hit the chinlock. Back up and a cross body gets two for Natalya and the Sharpshooter gets the win at 3:41.

Rating: D+. As you may have noticed, there was a lot of play by play here. Here’s the reason why: these people have no characters. Cameron is close with the stuck up chick who only cares about herself, but Alicia is just Alicia and Natalya is just a veteran and serious wrestler. There’s nowhere to go with those characters as there’s nothing that stands out about them. The same is true for most of the Divas. Even Summer is just there as the dancing stuff is gone. I’m not saying we need to go back to the days of GLOW, but something would be nice.

Cameron lays both of them out with DDTs post match.

Bray Wyatt narrates a video about Erick Rowan, who was a child in a man’s world. How could society do what they’ve done to him? They took away Rowan’s innocence and we’re all guilty, even though we don’t know it. Bray has fixed him and now Rowan is free. We might have seen this video when the Family split up last year. If nothing else it’s cool to see a video like this to set up the matches later. What happened to the days of promos to set stuff up? It doesn’t have to have high production values. Just a quick promo from backstage would be fine.

Here’s Bray in the ring for his match but first he talks about remembering the days when Erick Rowan was lost. Society saw all of Rowan’s flaws but Bray saw possibilities. “Yes Erick, you too can job to Big Show.” The fans give Bray the WHAT treatment as he talks about being Rowan’s brother. He fixed Erick like you fix a broken toy and then set him free. Society has returned Rowan to Bray and he’s broken all over again. Tonight Bray is going to teach Rowan one last lesson: no matter what, trust no one because evil is inside of us all. If he’ll destroy someone he called his brother, imagine what he’ll do to you.

Bray Wyatt vs. Erick Rowan

Bray tells him to bring it on to start so Erick runs over him to knock Wyatt outside. Back in and Bray grabs him by the beard but you don’t do that to a former genius. What you do instead is send Rowan into the post and then knock him off the apron and into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Rowan fighting out of a chinlock but the backsplash hits knees. Rowan hits some running splashes in the corner for two but Bray rolls outside when Erick goes up top. That works better for Bray as he takes Rowan’s head off with a clothesline and follows up with the backsplash. The Rock Bottom doesn’t work but Wyatt takes him down with the flying body block. Sister Abigail ends Erick at 9:34.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here for the most part but I like that they’re giving the Wyatts what seems to be some closure. Either that or they’re repackaging Rowan into something else. I was interested in the genius gimmick but that was sacrificed on the alter of Big Show, next to Hideo Itami. Bray needs something to do now that the Undertaker match is over. I’d love to see him actually win a feud against a top name for a change too.

Bray cradles Rowan’s head post match.

It’s time for a special movie edition of MizTV. We see the trailer for Marine 4 but before Miz can get anywhere else, his co-star Summer Rae cuts him off. They get in an argument over who was the real star of the movie with Summer calling him a co-star and Miz calling her a featured extra. Summer brings up Mizdow eliminating him from the battle royal and the fans chant his name.

Miz asks if the fans know the backstory of Damien Sandow. He was fired twice until Miz saved his career and gave him a purpose. Cue Mizdow but Miz cuts him off and says Mizdow is going to go on a steep decline. These people can’t get him on track but Miz is capable and willing to because he’s a charitable person. He’ll do it for an apology and everything can go back to the way it was.

All Mizdow has to do to get everything back is shake Miz’s hand and apologize. Hey now, quit adding things to the rules. Miz asks whose hands Mizdow wants his career in, because the people will drop him in a heartbeat. Damien apologizes…..for not doing this earlier and the beating is on. Miz leaves so Mizdow kisses Summer, who seems to like it.

Video on WWE taking over the Bay Area for Wrestlemania weekend.

Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns/Dolph Ziggler vs. Big Show/Sheamus/Bad News Barrett

I guess because the original four needed star power to carry them? Sheamus and Ziggler get things going with the Irishman taking Dolph into the corner for a right hand to the ribs from Big Show. A big chop puts Ziggler down as Dolph is firmly into his standard style. Dolph dropkicks the knee out and gets two off the running DDT, only to get chopped out of the corner. Barrett comes in for the first time and slaps on a chinlock but the fans are already cheering for Dolph to get out.

Winds of Change gets two but Ziggler flips over Sheamus and dives into the tag to Bryan. The YES Kicks have Sheamus in trouble and Daniel backdrops him to the floor for the Flying Goat. They’re moving in this one so far. As Bryan throws Sheamus back in, Barrett gets up and kicks Daniel in the head as we take a break. Back with Bryan getting slammed by Big Show and a huge elbow getting two. Barrett comes in for another chinlock as the fans sound like they want Roman.

Show breaks up a hot tag attempt but his chokeslam is countered into the YES Lock. This time it’s Sheamus making the save and trying a superplex, only to get knocked off by Bryan. Daniel’s cross body is caught but he spins into a DDT and makes the hot tag to Reigns. Roman cleans house with Superman Punches as everything breaks down. Ziggler and Sheamus go to the floor and Bryan hits Show with the running knee. The spear out of the corner gives Reigns the pin on Barrett at 15:18.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here with everyone moving quickly and putting in some efforts. It’s interesting to see that Reigns is back to his old style and looking cool after not having the Wrestlemania main event looming over him. I think people are going to like him better when he’s not out there against the most popular guy in the company and now that he’s been able to give us something to connect to. Now if only they could get him completely away from Big Show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a pretty basic but well done show with decent wrestling and some midcard storyline development. That’s about all you can ask for from Smackdown these days as the illusion of the move back to Thursdays making the show matter is long gone. I do like that tag feud revolving around the Intercontinental Title though as it’s something that could go somewhere if they let it get interesting. Not bad this week but nothing great.

Results

Cesaro/Tyson Kidd b. New Day – Fisherman’s neckbreaker to Kingston

Neville b. Curtis Axel – Red Arrow

Natalya b. Alicia Fox – Sharpshooter

Bray Wyatt b. Erick Rowan – Sister Abigail

Roman Reigns/Daniel Bryan/Dolph Ziggler b. Sheamus/Big Show/Bad News Barrett – Spear to Barrett

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Reviewing the Review: Wrestlemania XXXI

This is a show where most fans just didn’t want to see it. The interest wasn’t there, but it had one good thing going for it: it’s Wrestlemania. No matter what happens on the show, there’s always something worth checking out. A few days before the show, I was talking about the card on the radio and the host said that it was a good card on paper and you would be looking forward to the show if you hadn’t seen the build. That seemed more and more accurate as the show came closer. Let’s get to it.

Before we get to the card, I want to cover some of the scenery. Above all else, that stage was HUGE. It was probably an easy forty yards long, making the wrestlers look tiny by comparison. That helped give the show the huge feel it was hoping for and the whole thing looked great. I know some people have complained about the sunlight but it really didn’t bother me that much. I’ve seen shows outside where it was raining so hard that there were puddles in the ring so some sun isn’t exactly a disaster.

The opening pre-show match was its usual fun, though I liked the elimination style from last year better. Jey Uso not being able to go hurt things a bit but having one less person might have been the best thing that could have happened in this mess. Also, it’s not like he’s some polar opposite from his brother. When I’m reviewing an Uso match I just pick one of their names and alternate whenever they tag. Does it really matter either way?

The match was a huge spotfest as you would expect and eventually lost all semblance of wrestling. Normally that would sound bad but it was exactly what it should have been here. The champs stood out more than anyone else and it’s clear that no one cares about New Day and Los Matadores, but did anyone not know that coming in? The champs retains after Cesaro stole a pin, which was exactly the ending they should have gone with.

The second match was the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal and Big Show won. Why you ask? Because apparently he’s never won a battle royal and we’re supposed to ignore World War 3 1996, the one he won on Smackdown in March of last year, the one he and Kofi co-won on Raw in 2011, the ECW vs. WWE Head to Head battle royal in 2006 and a battle royal he won on Nitro because this company doesn’t know how to do research, which could include things like looking online or, I don’t know, ASKING HIM IF HE’S EVER WON A BATTLE ROYAL.

Anyway, this was your old standard formula of having everyone brawl then have some people do a sequence to get eliminated. Mizdow got the big face turn against Miz, only to get thrown out by Big Show with ease. Yeah having Mizdow eliminate Big Show on his own would be a stretch, but having him win by eliminating Miz would have been a huge moment. Naturally we need Big Show to win his fourth battle royal because no one remembers the others. Oh and if you remember the story, he was the last man standing in the 2000 Royal Rumble but wasn’t declared the winner.

Aside from Big Show and Mizdow, the only story was Hideo Itami from NXT. He didn’t do much, but at least he was there and got to have a quick moment. It was probably better to have him in there instead of someone they’re ready to push like Balor. Itami is just a kicking machine at this point but he’s still decent enough for a spot like this. Not a fan of the match if you couldn’t tell by three paragraphs about a battle royal.

Aloe Blacc sang America the Beautiful. Four things: Aloe Blacc sounds like a lotion and is a far cry from Aretha Franklin or Gladys Knight. Also, why is it almost always America the Beautiful and almost never the Star Spangled Banner? Either is fine but I’ve always wondered that. Finally, I’m out of touch with modern music and I don’t seem to be missing anything.

The opening seven man ladder match was pretty much exactly what fans were expecting: a huge mess with almost no story to it and one big spot after another. It wasn’t anything we haven’t seen before and it probably would have been better to have five people instead of seven but for an opening match, this was solid. I would have put this on later and not had it so soon after the other mess of the Tag Team Title match, but there was nothing much to complain about here.

As for the people in the match, they did just about what they were supposed to do. R-Truth and Stardust were just there (though Barrett breaking Stardust’s glittery ladder was hilarious), Ziggler was the one that got close but couldn’t pull it off, Ambrose got put through a ladder for the big spot (which was actually really smart because it wrote him off the show later so he couldn’t stop the big ending), Barrett was fighting everyone, Harper was there for the power and that only leaves one guy.

Having Bryan win a title in the opening match was a good way to get the show off on the right foot. Aside from fighting for his fifth different title in five Wrestlemanias (US Title, World Heavyweight Title, Tag Team Titles, WWE World Heavyweight Title, Intercontinental Title), they had to throw the fans a bone to go from him having one of the coolest moments ever at Wrestlemania to opening the show the next year. Winning the Intercontinental Title is a step down, but at least it’s Bryan getting back into the swing of things. Good stuff here and a solid opener, though it probably could have been trimmed down.

Things slow down a bit with the first singles match of the night as Randy Orton beat Seth Rollins. This was kind of a surprising result for me but it also telegraphed what was going to happen later in the night, ala Edge back in 2006. The RKO at the end with Seth being launched through the air was good, though I’ll still take Evan Bourne’s Shooting Star into an RKO for the best ever. Either way, Orton can nail that thing from almost anywhere and it never stops looking great.

However, this opens up some problems: we’ve seen these guys fight a few times now and we’re supposed to pay to see them fight at Extreme Rules and potentially at a third show in May? The booking may be logical on paper, but I’m not sure it’s going to get people to watch week after week. It was a good match, but I really liked what Wade Keller said about Orton on Austin’s podcast this week: he’s so naturally talented and has been around so long that the expectations on him are very high. When he has a good match, it’s almost considered a disappointment because he can be so naturally good when he’s on his game.

Now we get to the match which is probably going to get the most controversy all night. This is where the great entrances began. First we had Sting coming out to a Japanese drum band, which was cool but kind of bizarre at the same time. I have no idea what kind of connection it’s supposed to be, but I guess WWE just wanted Sting to have his own entrance that was unique for their show. The problem with this was Sting is always a high energy guy and the slow drum stuff didn’t quite fit the top level show in the world.

Then HHH came out with an army of robots, in Terminator gear with Arnold Schwarzenegger himself doing a video introduction. It was at this point that you knew HHH was going to be the big star here and that this was really just a story with Sting involved instead of a story about Sting. The question here was what could Sting do after a few years off and all that time in TNA.

Amazingly enough he looked pretty solid. This was an old school style match with both guys working each other over and HHH working over the back to slow Sting down. This was a very nice change of pace after Orton and Rollins having the fast paced main event style and all the insanity that took place in the first three matches. It’s the style they should have gone with and it worked fine.

Then seven people interfered, completely ignored wrestling history, made old people look old, having Kevin Nash do what I think was the funniest bit of the night, and then ending it with a hammer to the face. In case you didn’t watch the show and are just reading this (for some strange reason), it was the Monday Night Wars all over again with DX running in first (with Sting DIVING OFF THE TOP ONTO ALL THREE OF THEM. Not bad at 56 years old) and then the NWO slowly hobbling in to counter them, all capped off by Shawn superkicking Sting.

Where do I even begin? Aside from the logical Shawn interference, this was one of the most ridiculous things I’ve seen in years. First and foremost, Sting spent nearly two years fighting the NWO (or at least the Black and White) but now he’s going to fight with them for the Monday Night Wars? A battle where his partners are the biggest WWF guy ever to that point and two guys who were the definition of hired mercenaries in the war and are fighting against one of their best friends? That’s the best they’ve got?

It also caused us to see the New Age Outlaws and X-Pac on the same level as Hall, Nash and Hogan. Under no circumstances at any time in the history of professional wrestling does that hold up. Despite the fact that Billy Gunn is less than five years younger than Sting (no real connection to this, just find it kind of mind blowing), there is no way that these six guys are on the same level, even with Nash going down and holding his quad in a funny bit.

After all the insanity and ignoring continuity for the sake of the Monday Night Wars revival, Sting kicked out of the superkick (and out of the Pedigree earlier) and broke the sledgehammer, only to have the third Stinger Splash collide with the sledgehammer to give HHH the pin.

This is one of those moments where you sit at the screen, shake your head just a bit, then either sigh heavily or break a small appliance while screaming loudly. The fact that they brought Sting in and had him lose in his first match came off as one of the biggest wastes of time I’ve seen in years. It felt like they were closing the door on Sting, which is fine in theory, but they couldn’t close it on a victory? It was such a mess that it wouldn’t have been remotely clean so HHH doesn’t lose face and the fans get to cheer.

Instead, it was one last (and by last I mean not last whatsoever) thumb of the large nose at WCW, which was entirely what this feud was based on, even after Sting said how ridiculous that would be. They even had the factions come out for the match, despite WCW going out of business FOURTEEN YEARS AGO. Is WWE really that insecure about a show on the air less than six years total that they have to dig it up and bury it one more time nearly fifteen years later? Apparently so, because that’s exactly what they did.

Oh but we’re not done. After the match, we got the big respect handshake. As I said in the original review: YOU HIT HIM IN THE FACE WITH A HAMMER AFTER COMING OUT WITH AN ARMY OF ROBOTS! NO HE DOES NOT WANT TO SHAKE YOUR HAND! This was supposed to be HHH saying he respected Sting after the battle. Keep this one in mind because we’ll be coming back to it later.

I know I complained about it a lot, but this was one of the big song and dance numbers that you can only get at Wrestlemania and I had a blast watching it. The run-ins were incredibly fun (illogical but fun) and Sting looked like he did back in the best of his TNA years, which was a pretty good time for him. I was impressed with what he did on a wrestling front and the match was more entertaining than it had any right to be. No it didn’t make sense and was a huge mess, but what else were you going to do with this match, especially with that ending?

Daniel Bryan celebrated with a bunch of former Intercontinental Champions for the Ron Simmons cameo. Jericho would have been a good addition here but what we got was fine.

Then we had a concert as all the NWO and DX guys try to figure out whose walker is whose. I still don’t like these things as they waste so much time to give us songs we’ve heard a million times coming into the show, but hey, at least WWE can say this is an ENTERTAINMENT show instead of silly old wrestling. You know, because a seven minute concert totally changes the opinion of the show right?

The not so serious portion of the show continued with the Divas tag match between AJ Lee/Paige and the Bella Twins in what wound up being AJ’s final match in WWE (for now). This match reenforced my issue with the Bellas all along: they’re just not very good. Yeah they’re watchable in the ring and have gotten WAY better in the last six to eight months, but there’s a very thick line between good and watchable. They’re combining to be the top of the division and that’s just not going to cut it for a long term run at the top. AJ made Nikki tap in a short match after spending a lot of time on the floor.

I tried to like this match and it was better than most Raw matches you would see, but it didn’t work as the big Wrestlemania match for them. The Bellas are good at getting heel heat and playing the stuck up better than you villains, but they simply cannot back it up in the ring. It’s like they’re following a tightly written script for the match and would be lost if anything went against that plan. That’s a sign of a sub-par worker and the Bellas fill that role like Nikki fills out those shorts.

In theory this was to set up AJ vs. Nikki for the title, but why couldn’t that be taking place at Wrestlemania? I complained about this leading up to the show and it still didn’t make sense here. Having this just be a tag match after a couple of title matches were used to set it up was totally backwards thinking and never held up. The wrestling was ok, but the Bellas are just killing this division every day they have the title. It’s like the life is being drained out of the division, much like HHH’s World Title reign in 2003: the matches aren’t bad but you roll your eyes when the title is retained and beg for ANYONE to give you a break.

The Hall of Fame did their thing. This was what it was and I always like seeing them out there and hearing the Fink’s voice. It felt faster this year, but there’s nothing wrong with taking five minutes out of a four hour card to let these people salute the crowd on the grand stage one more time.

Now we get to one of the bigger matches as Rusev defended the US Title against John Cena. In what might have been the entrance of the night, Rusev came out in a tank. I mean a full sized let’s go blow a hole in a building tank with Lana surrounded by Russian soldiers carrying the belt. I know Cena’s entrances are well known at Wrestlemania, but he’s going to have his hands full topping this.

Cena had a big speech with videos from American Presidents and shots of the military as we heard about how great this country is. Then Cena just walked to the ring as usual for a pretty anticlimactic ending. It was cool, but it needed something more than just Cena coming down the long aisle. I mean…..RUSEV WAS IN A TANK! Side note: the next night on Raw and then on Smackdown, the announcers started using The Russian Tank as a nickname for Rusev. I dig it.

The match….not so much. It was still good and an entertaining match with Cena finally breaking the Accolade and pinning Rusev to win the title, but it was just kind of there. I still liked it and Cena brought the goods (including a springboard Stunner, which should be someone’s finisher again minus the springboard) as he always does. This isn’t a loss where Rusev is never going to recover as every monster built up like him has to lose eventually.

It’s good and Rusev has already won his big match over Cena, but the ending hurt things. The story for this match had been built around submissions but Cena just sidestepped Rusev so he could hit Lana and nailed the AA for the pin. I mean….that’s it? It’s a good match and the ending had to be Cena winning (though imagine the promos Rusev could cut if he escaped with the belt), but the ending was a bit flat for me. At least this way they avoid the ultra repetitive YOU TAPPED OUT chants.

Now we get to the long time filler as the show had two matches to fill in about 80 minutes at this point. HHH and Stephanie came out to brag about owning the company, roughly an hour after HHH was all humble and shook Sting’s hand, making that whole thing even more stupid. I’m still kind of annoyed at that six days after the show.

Anyway, they talked about how they own the people and everyone here and you knew this was going to bring out the Rock. He did his long entrance and catchphrases, only to have Stephanie do her usual schtick as she ripped him apart and made him look like any given guy on the roster. She went one step too far though and slapped Rock in the face, so Rock bailed to the floor…..and walked over to Ronda Rousey.

Now THIS was a worthy use of a celebrity as Rousey is one of the biggest stars in sports right now (and ignore the fact that I have a thing for her) and fits this story perfectly. As you would expect, Stephanie ran her mouth and got her arm cranked. By cranked I mean slightly tugged on instead of being put in a full on armbar, but I’m assuming Ronda is only allowed to get so physical outside of UFC. That’s fine. Disappointing, but fine.

My guess is this sets up HHH vs. Rock with the girls as seconds, because even though Stephanie is a great talker, I don’t think anyone is going to buy her lasting more than five seconds against Rousey. Real trained fighters can barely break fifteen seconds against Rousey but we’re supposed to buy Stephanie as having the slightest bit of a chance against her? Because it’s in a wrestling ring? I’m not buying that, and this is assuming Rousey would ever be allowed to work a match in the first place. Rock vs. HHH is an established feud and seeing them go at it one more time would be fun.

It mostly worked, except for one problem: IT TOOK NEARLY HALF AN HOUR. This was one of the longest talking segments I’ve seen in a long time and a lot of it is due to Stephanie and Rock taking forever to get to the point. Now once Ronda was introduced it was fine as everyone was begging for her to, as Rock put it, reach down Stephanie’s throat and play jump rope with her Fallopian tubes”, but sweet goodness they could have cut five to ten minutes of this and done the exact same thing. But then we wouldn’t have been able to hear about Stephanie being Andre’s friend again, because…..why do we need to hear that anyway?

The segment ran long enough that we didn’t have time to recap Bray Wyatt and Undertaker starting small fires to set up their match. The interesting thing here was Bray wrenching his ankle very badly before the show and barely being able to walk. However, he gutted it out and managed to hold up his half of the match. That brought us to the big question: how was Undertaker going to do?

Actually quite well, as it really seems the concussion played a huge role in how bad the match against Lesnar was last year. Undertaker wasn’t at the HBK level, but he was more than fine for a match like this. He’s also grown some hair back to make him look like Biker Taker, which isn’t my favorite look but is miles better than the bald version, which just makes him look old. I don’t really need to see Undertaker again, but it was good to see that he still had something in the tank after last year’s mess.

I have to give a quick bit of praise to Bray’s entrance, which saw a bunch of scarecrows come to life as he walked past them, turning them into his henchmen. It makes no sense but looked awesome, which brings me to something I’ve been meaning to talk about recently. A criticism I’ve been hearing lately is that Bray’s promos don’t make a ton of sense. I want to tilt my head at these people and ask them what is wrong with their heads.

Look at Bray Wyatt. He’s a backwoods cult leader who worships a spirit named Sister Abigail, who told him that he would save the world one day. Why in the name of all that is good and holy would you expect him to give a logical promo? The whole point of the character is that he sounds bizarre and only makes sense to those people crazy enough to follow him.

Undertaker talked about spirits, Ultimate Warrior talked about loading spaceships with rocket fuel and Hulk Hogan talked about dog paddling Donald Trump to safety when an earthquake caused New Jersey to fall into the ocean. Bray Wyatt’s promos are closer to Nick Bockwinkel’s than the work of a lot of people praised for their speaking abilities, but people complain that he doesn’t make sense.

Of course they don’t make sense and he’d be failing if they did. He looks and sounds mysterious and you’re supposed to wonder what he means. It makes just enough sense for you to follow it, but the details aren’t all there and that’s why they work. Yeah he gets repetitive at times, but criticizing him for not making sense is an unfair complaint.

All of that brings us to the big main event, which doesn’t have as much to talk about. It was basically Lesnar vs. Cena all over again with Lesnar destroying the challenger and shrugging off his best shots until he made a mistake and let Reigns stay in it, only to have Rollins cash in Money in the Bank and pin Reigns to win the title.

The match itself was fun, but they were running the risk of making Lesnar repetitive. Don’t get me wrong: it’s still entertaining to see him be all freaky strong (even though he has some thin legs, at least compared to how huge his upper body is), but they can only do this for so long before it loses some of its impact. I liked that they had Reigns making a comeback near the end and you weren’t quite sure if he could pull it off, but if they had him survive and win, I would have been scared to show up at Raw the next night. The booing would have been too much for that hair to handle.

Another point here is the blood, which did a lot of good for the match. It’s something you don’t need to see that often, but it’s good in spots like this one. Quick note here: there’s a video going around that allegedly shows the referee passing the blade to Reigns. That’s actually the referee checking on Reigns, who squeezes his hand to show he’s fine. It’s an old technique and not passing a blade.

Rollins cashing in was a good way to end things, but unfortunately it’s going to lead to some repetitive title matches for the next few months, unless they go with some triple threats. Rollins deserves the title though and that’s the important thing to get done. I certainly like the cash in and it kept them from having to pick from a short list of bad possible endings. It’s a great ending to a great show.

Yes this was a great show and I had an awesome time with the whole thing. I don’t know how well it holds up over time with the lack of a bad build and low expectations in the future, but as it stood it was an outstanding show without a really bad match on the card. There are some issues (Sting losing, time getting crunched because of the talking segment going long) but overall, this blew away my expectations and I had a lot of fun watching it. How long has it been since we had two great Wrestlemanias in a row? Seven years or so? However long it’s been, the answer is too long so it was great seeing another classic.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestlemania XXXI Preview: Intercontinental Title

Reach for the sky.

I’m not a fan of these matches. They take away the entire idea of having a wrestling match and throw everything together into one big mess for the title. Yeah it’s going to be a lot of fun and has the potential to steal the show, but I really would have preferred a straight match or even a multiman match to this big mess.

Second complaint: I know I’ve ranted on this already, but I really didn’t like having the title being passed around. What was that supposed to accomplish? It’s better than having the champion lose every week, but why am I supposed to care that someone keeps taking the belt itself away? As Barrett kept saying, that’s his title and he shouldn’t have to keep taking it back from people. It’s like when Hogan thought he had won the Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania IX when Jimmy Hart counted the pin: he REALLY should know better than that.

Just like in the Tag Team Title match, let’s take an individual look at each guy before I get to my pick.

Stardust – Why is he in this? He lost last month and now he’s in a big time title match because the belt is his precious? This is a name you could have easily left out of things and no one would have noticed a difference. If nothing else just cut his spot and let the match have fewer people in it so things can breathe a bit more.

R-Truth – He’s here for the comedy and nothing more. No one buys him as having a chance at winning the belt and I can’t really see why he needed to be in here. He’s the guy you throw out there to give the champion a fluke loss (which happens WAY too often) and not someone you put in a title match at Wrestlemania.

Luke Harper – Former champion, had a great ladder match with Dolph Ziggler and deserves a push where he DOESN’T LOSE EVERY MATCH AS CHAMPION. I don’t see him as having much of a chance, but you always need someone in there as a power guy to throw the small guys around and make them look good.

Dean Ambrose – He’s finally finding a niche for himself in the midcard and is the one that started this whole thing in the first place. I really liked what he said when he talked about wanting to be the Intercontinental Champion because it meant something back in the day. Then he started walking off with the belt like it was a ball on the playground because that’s how you make a title legitimate right? I’d love to see Dean win and become the midcard star, but given his track record, he probably gets lost coming to ringside and winds up fighting Torito or something.

Daniel Bryan – Boy what a difference a year makes doesn’t it? It really is amazing what a simple broken neck (or whatever it was) can do to mess up your career. Bryan would be the most logical pick to win here but for some reason I don’t see him doing it. For one thing, he’s a bit too popular to give a win in back to back years because the WWE knows who we should be cheering for. Side note about Bryan: this is the fifth different title he’s fought for in five Wrestlemanias.

Wrestlemania XXVII: US Title

Wrestlemania XXVIII: World Heavyweight Title

Wrestlemania XXIX: Tag Team Titles

Wrestlemania XXX: WWE World Heavyweight Title

Wrestlemania XXXI: Intercontinental Title

He might be the only guy to ever do that.

Dolph Ziggler – You have to have a guy like Ziggler in a match like this and there’s nothing wrong with being that guy. He’ll have some big spots, get close to winning the title, get the second biggest reaction of the match and come up just a bit short, because WWE is totally cool with having him get nowhere after making him the star of the Survivor Series main event.

Bad News Barrett – My goodness what is their problem with this guy? It seems like every time he gets the title he goes on the biggest losing streak ever but gets to hold his head high and win the big match at the end, meaning we’re supposed to forget about all those losses. That would be fine in theory if Cole wasn’t reminding us of the losses every 18 seconds, but that’s too much logic for them to follow.

Overall though, I don’t think Barrett gets the big win this time. It’s probably what we’re getting from the whole thing, but I’m going on a limb and picking Ambrose. He’s over with the fans, could be made into a main event guy one day and started this whole thing. WWE owes him a big win anyway after all the stupid endings with the Rollins and Wyatt matches. They’ll probably go with Barrett to make me want to drive my head through a wall, but I want to see Ambrose take it.

Oh and Sheamus could be added as the eighth guy. If he does, I’ll go with him again.

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