IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania 11
Date: April 2, 1995
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 16,305
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
America the Beautiful: Kathy Huey

Oh goodness, we did have to get to this eventually didn’t we? If you remember my review of WM 9 being the worst WM ever, I should have said it would be the worst for the next two years. This show is one of the most interesting in wrestling history from a reaction standpoint. From the fans’ perspective, this show is what’s played on a constant loop in the seventh circle of purgatory, minus the WWF Title match.

The number one issue I have right off the bat with this is that it’s from Hartford, Connecticut. Seriously, HARTFORD??? Wrestlemania has broadcast from New York, LA, Chicago, Toronto, Las Vegas, and now HARTFORD? It just doesn’t sound right. Another factor here is that there’s a whopping total of 7 matches. What’s the main event you ask?

Would it be Shawn Michaels getting his first WWF Title match since becoming a main eventer against his former bodyguard Diesel? Nope. We get Bam Bam Bigelow who was wrestling a clown last year against Lawrence Taylor, a former football player and current contestant on Dancing With The Stars. The sad thing is, I’m not making this up. The weird thing though is, this show allegedly brought the WWF back into the war with WCW.

The ratings were decent and it got the company the main stream exposure it’s looking for. Think of it like the modern day TNA: the hardcore wrestling fans like us mostly hate it, but the common fans eat it up. Go figure. Anyway, let’s get on with this so I can look for a hammer to apply to my head.

The opening video is about various Manias through the years which tends to be a theme in these opening videos.

Your celebrities this year are Pamela Anderson (actual celebrity), Jonathan Taylor Thomas (Randy on Home Improvement. Another child star that did nothing.), Jenny McCarthy (Mini-celebrity now, she was at the last SNME so points for that I guess), some guy from NYPD Blue, and Salt N Peppa, who hit on Bret Hart which just looks ridiculous. A special Olympian sings America the Beautiful, and it’s time for our first match.

Ok not quite yet as we get a very interesting chat from Vince and Jerry about what Wrestlemania is. You don’t get to hear that much from Vince. It’s short and sweet but it got the point across just fine. NOW on to the match.

Lex Luger/British Bulldog vs. The Blu Brothers

No that’s not a typo, it’s spelled Blu. These guys have the gimmick of being two incredibly hick brothers from the mountains. You know them better as D.O.A., the Harris Brothers, or those two big white bald guys that are in every promotion on the planet. My goodness how far has Lex fallen in a year? He’s going after the WWF Title and next year is curtain jerking in a tag match?

The twins are named Jacob and Eli in case you were so bored you were actually wondering. Lex and Davey go by the name the Allied Powers. That delayed vertical suplex by Davey never gets old. It’s nothing short of amazing. Definitely like the fact that Bulldog’s tights are about 3 sizes too small. Oh yeah we have a match to get to.

For some reason the Brothers come down second. The Brothers try to jump them which winds up in a pair of powerslams for them. Note that this is just a powerslam and not The Powerslam by Bulldog so it’s just a normal match. Bulldog is in trouble early on as the power of evil double teaming has him hurting.

A double big boot puts Bulldog down as Luger is just worthless on the apron here. The fans aren’t incredibly impressed. Jerry says that Bulldog has only lost once at Mania which isn’t true as he lost at both #3 and #4. Luger comes in and the fans pop just slightly. I guess the jump back to WCW was the right move indeed. Another powerslam gets no cover.

The loaded forearm gets two as the other twin makes the save. Uncle Zebekiah gets drilled and it’s Twin Magic time. One twin goes for a powerbomb/Piledriver but Luger makes a blind tag, allowing the Bulldog to hit a top rope sunset flip for the pin, prompting a fireworks display to go off.

Rating: D. Not bad, but just there. It’s nothing special at all and I’m not sure how many people really cared. The crowd was about as dead as I’ve ever heard for a Mania opener, and that’s including The Executioner vs. Santana back in 85. Wow I feel old for writing that. Anyway this was pretty bad and could have been on any Superstars show back in the day.

Jim Ross talks to the Uncle who says this is what they deserved for being in the big city. They pinned the wrong guy and that’s not the last you’ll see of the twins.

The NYPD Blue guy is with the Million Dollar Team (DiBiase’s stable of mostly jobbers) when he’s supposed to be in the dressing room of Pam Anderson but the mic doesn’t work. As an aside, during the show Lawler accidentally knocked some cords loose and he and Vince had to redo the entire commentary on the show from watching video. Due to that, the commentary you’ll hear on these matches isn’t live at all.

Lawler describes football as a game where eleven men spend hours trying to move a small object 100 yards, which is just like the post office. What that has to do with this is beyond me but it sounded good at the time. Oh it’s about the NFL guys here for the main event.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

No real story here other than they’re feuding for no apparent reason. Jarrett is in his country music gimmick here and even the Fink sounds bored out of his mind here. Jarrett won the title at the Rumble thanks to the Roadie (Road Dogg in case you didn’t know that) interfering. 1-2-3 Kid and Ramon are in the back and say that Ramon is ready.

Razor was so over back then it’s insane. Vince makes a weird comment saying that Ramon knows where he is at all times. Not sure why that’s a compliment. Don’t most people know where they’re located? It’s either a Vince line or a rib that 3 people get. Razor is all over Jarrett to start this off. Jarrett hits the floor and Razor gets to shoot off his pyro. He gets about three covers in the first 2 minutes, all off punches.

Double J may have hurt his tooth. Rollup gets two for Razor. Roadie saves Jarrett from the Razor’s Edge and Jarrett tries to leave but the Kid is waiting in the aisle to stop that. Five minutes in and JJ’s biggest move has been a hard Irish whip. You know for all of his detractors, Jarrett can wrestle quite well. I’ve always wondered why he didn’t get the recognition as a star that he deserved.

Jarrett tries to get on offense but can’t get anything long term going at all. He gets thrown to the floor again as the crowd dies all over again. Jeff gets some dropkicks in and here comes the guy from Tennessee. We hit the chinlock and the fans get going a bit. At least it’s a fast one as Razor gets a backslide for two. Sleeper goes on Razor and again it lasts just a few seconds. Oh hey here’s another chinlock to keep us interested.

This match just isn’t flowing. It’s like they’re working move to move and it’s showing badly. In a really stupid looking sequence, they both hit the ropes and hit head to head. Then they get up and hit the ropes again and both punch each other. It’s more or less the same spot twice in a row. Just looked stupid. This referee is counting ridiculously fast too.

Fallaway slam gets two. Discus punch gets Jeff down. Can Razor do anything else besides punch and go for the Edge? Razor hurts his knee going for a top rope bulldog, which is the same knee that was hurt THREE MONTHS AGO at the Rumble. Of course it’s still sore. Why wouldn’t it be?

Figure four by Jarrett as the Roadie pulls on Jarrett’s arms for more leverage. I’ve always wondered about that. How does it make it hurt more? I love how Razor’s knee is hurt badly, yet he can pick a 230lb man up, sit him on the top rope and belly to back suplex him from it without his knee giving out.

He gets him up for the Razor’s Edge but Roadie chop blocks him for the DQ. Post match, all four men brawl. JR asks Jarrett about his cheating and Jarrett says he’ll always be the IC Champion. If by always he means until he jumps to WCW and then back to the WWF, loses to Chyna after being hit by a fish and then is banned from the company because Austin hated him, they yes he’ll always be champion.

Rating: D+. This was WAY too many punches and rest holds. These two have had far better matches before, such as at the Rumble. Razor probably had 90% of his offense from throwing punches. Jarrett wasn’t anywhere nearly as serious as he should have been at this point and that change wouldn’t come for many years. Definitely a weak match from them.

Since there was no audio earlier, let’s redo the exact movements from the interview earlier on. Pamela Anderson is nowhere to be found. Shawn and Sid say that Diesel is afraid.

Todd Pettingil gets in a 3 point stance with a football player and that’s all there is to this pointless bit.

The Undertaker vs. King Kong Bundy

This is the result of a mini feud with DiBiase and Kama over the Urn being stolen for about the 12^th time. A baseball umpire is refereeing the match for no apparent reason. Bundy charges straight at him to start but that gets him nowhere. Old School can’t take him down. A bunch of clotheslines finally put the bald man down.

Bundy knocks him to the floor and Taker gets the Urn back. Now of course Bundy is in big trouble as Taker is all ticked off. Here’s Kama (Godfather) to steal it back again. This is going as fast as I’m typing it so it’s not like I’m skipping over a ton of stuff. Taker grabs Kama’s face but Bundy makes the save and Kama escapes.

Ross grabs an interview with Kama who says he’s going to melt it down and make a chain out of it and put it around his neck, which he wound up doing. Bundy chokes away in the corner, showing off his vast array of offensive talents. This referee is rather bad at counting. Bearer plays cheerleader to try to get Taker out of a chinlock. Avalanche hits in the corner but Taker is no Special Delivery Jones so it has no effect. A slam and the jumping clothesline of all things end this.

Rating: F+. Oh man this was bad. Taker was completely lacking direction at this point and it was painfully obvious that they had no clue what to do with him. He would feud with Kama for a bit before feuding with King Mabel for a bit until FINALLY Mankind debuted to give Taker something to do long term. Terrible match.

Oh look, the NYPD Blue guy still can’t find Pamela Anderson. Steve McMichael says he’ll take down Kama. The rest of the All-Pro Team says they’ll take care of the Million Dollar Team. The NYPD Blue guy does find Jonathan Taylor Thomas beating Bob Backlund at chess though. I never thought I’d have to type that. Backlund’s rant about the world being screwed up is hilarious.

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. Owen Hart/???

Owen has a mystery partner here. The Smoking Gunns are a great example of the failure of tag wrestling during this time period. They were definitely talented, but absolutely no one cared about them. They’re practically forgotten but were one of the most successful tag teams from this time frame.

As you probably know, the partner is Yokozuna. Oddly enough the partner comes out before the Guns, the champions, do. This is of course about Bret somehow because Owen is completely obsessed with Bret. Yoko weighs a few tons by this point and is straight up waddling to the ring. The Gunns say they don’t care who the partner is. Billy with a mullet and a mustache is freaky looking.

More fireworks for the champions here. What’s with that tonight for the tag teams? Owen and Billy start us off. That’s the most talented combination out there I guess. Apparently Owen and Neidhart were eliminated from the tag tournament to determine the #1 contenders so this is a result of that. The Gunns work on the arm of Owen to start which lasts only a few seconds as it’s off to Yoko.

The leg drop misses and Yoko takes over again. And never mind as it’s back to Owen again. Cornette is yelling at the fans which is one of the more entertaining parts of the show. Double Russian legsweep to the Canadian by the American cowboys. Yoko gets sent to the floor as we’re in the Colossal Connection formula here: Owen does the vast majority of the work while Yoko is brought in as the heavy hitter.

Apparently Men on a Mission have turned heel on the Gunns. Riveting indeed and unfortunately it set up King Mabel. The Gunns hit a modified Sidewinder (side slam/legdrop combination) for two on Owen. Yoko comes in and gets the legdrop on the back of Billy’s head to more or less kill him. I’m surprised Yoko has been in the ring this long.

LONG nerve hold by Yoko on Billy to waste a lot of time. Yoko misses a legdrop and Bart comes in. Everything breaks down and Billy gets killed by a belly to belly from the fat man. Banzai Drop ends Billy and Owen gets the pin for the title, which might be his first in the company if that’s possible.

Rating: D+. Eh just a tag match here. The Gunns were boring beyond belief and Yoko was so fat that he could barely move at all. This was simply to have a title switch on the show much like the first show in the series. Boring match and somehow the best one so far I think if that’s possible.

Bigelow says he’ll destroy Lawrence Taylor. There was a Mania Work Out and they had a skirmish there too. This feud never really got going for me but the media actually paid attention so there’s that I guess. This interview takes forever and nothing special is said at all.

Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund

This is an I Quit match with Roddy Piper as referee for no apparent reason. Vince says Roddy knows something about submission. What in the world would that be anyway? This was their second submission match technically as the other was a throw in the towel match that had to end in submission if I remember right. Piper would be Commissioner by the next Mania.

Backlund is more or less crazy here which was rather impressive given how completely different he used to be back in his glory days. I’m still mad about not getting Bret’s glasses when I was a kid. The annoying kid next to me got them. I did however get a Slaughter helmet. Bret gets a headbutt to start and the fight is on. Sharpshooter can’t go on early.

Vince doesn’t remember Piper losing to Bret at Mania 8. Some fan he is. Bret goes for the Sharpshooter again and can’t get it. You couldn’t tell that from Vince as he keeps changing his reaction every five seconds. “Yes! No. Yes! No.” Is he the Zodiac or something? Figure Four goes on but Backlund reverses it. Neither guy says they quit as we get a quick check-in with the German commentators for no apparent reason.

Bret works the knee again as this is rather boring. Piper needs to quit asking them if they quit so often. Backlund works on the arm as I try to find a good novel to read so I don’t have to watch this for awhile. Backlund hooks a Fujiwara armbar and Bret says No to Piper. That was a shocking line then apparently which is amusing given that in an I Quit match in 99 with HHH vs. Rock, HHH said Suck It when he was asked if he quit.

Backlund likes that armbar. Jerry talks about breaking into a pyramid (what the heck?) and seeing a picture of Stu Hart with a headlock on King Tut (where does he get these jokes from?). Sharpshooter almost goes on but Backlund gets to the ropes before it gets cinched in. Bret charges again and his shoulder hits the post to put him in real trouble.

There’s the Crossface Chickenwing and Bret is in trouble. And never mind as he casually reverses and gets a horrible version of it on Backlund for the submission. You know, from all that devastating work that he did on Backlund’s arm the whole time. This was an awful match if you didn’t get it.

Rating: F+. This was really bad. Backlund was just flat out too old to be a serious main event threat by this point and while Bret was sharp as ever, Bob just didn’t have it in him anymore. Bret has called it the worst match of his career and he might be right. Backlund’s I saw the Light thing led to an angle where he would run for President of all things. As you can guess, it went nowhere. Also, having a Bret match lack any and all psychology is very weird indeed.

Backlund is leaving and says he saw the light. This would mean he became a Presidential candidate.

Ok, the NYPD guy was annoying at first. Now he’s just making me mad. NO ONE CARES. They’re changing the celebrities around.

More audio issues as Todd tries to talk to Diesel. He finally says that he’s going to keep the title. He slips up when he’s trying to say if he’s going to regain or retain the title and finally screams HOLD ONTO IT. This was back when Nash was actually really good and got the reputation he’s lived off for years now.

Celebrities are introduced as Jerry Lawler reveals he accidentally unplugged some cords.

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Diesel

The deal was supposed to be McCarthy came out with Diesel and Anderson, who was viewed as ten times hotter and more important than McCarthy (nonsense) would come out with the Rumble winner, Shawn. For obvious reasons, this got reversed. The NYPD Blue guy is the ring announcer and he’s miles better at this than he is as an interviewer. He shouts almost everything he says and for the sake of this, it works really well.

The story here is Diesel was Shawn’s bodyguard but realized he was awesome on his own so he turned face and won the WWF Title. Sid replaced him as the bodyguard and the exact same thing would happen in about a year. Shawn has finally morphed into the character that would make him a legend by this point. As weird as this sounds, Diesel is a freaking beast at this point. Sweet intro, the music was cool, he has Pamela Anderson, just the complete look. What in the world happened to that? Anderson simply couldn’t want to be here less if her life depended on it.

Shawn hammers away to start as we’re already into the power vs. speed area. Diesel had been champion since a few days after Survivor Series so he had almost 7 more months with the title here. Diesel sends Shawn to the floor as we look at the ladies. Sid distracts the referee but Shawn can’t get in a shot on Diesel. Suplex puts Shawn down.

Back to the floor again as Sid and Diesel stare each other down one more time. Diesel counters a sunset flip as this is more or less one sided so far. Nash gets sent to the floor but Shawn Skins the Cat and dives down to crush Diesel. Baseball slide has the champion in trouble. We look at Anderson again and sweet goodness does she want to be anywhere else but here.

The fans loudly chant for Sid, thus proving that this entire match is booked wrong. Shawn hits a splash off the apron to the floor as Diesel is in trouble. Back in the ring Shawn stomps away and hits a bulldog for two. I’ve never liked that move at all. Reverse cross body off the middle rope gets two again. Shawn works on the arm and gets a LET’S GO SHAWN chant in his honor.

Ok make that he’s working on Diesel’s ribs. A top rope elbow to the back gets two in what is for some reason a highlight reel clip for Shawn. Never really have gotten why but it certainly is. Off to the chinlock now as the fans still like Shawn better. Diesel fights back and gets Snake Eyes to get some momentum going. Flair Flip in the corner and Shawn hits the floor again.

Nash follows and it’s time to see Shawn’s tights pulled down as is the tradition for big matches he’s in for no apparent reason. They slug it out on the floor and the referee twists his ankle getting down. I guess it wasn’t an Attitude Era thing. Back in the ring Shawn gets Sweet Chin Music but there’s no referee which would be a factor in Shawn’s reasoning as to why he lost.

It gets two and the fans boo loudly on the kickout. Sid goes to an old school heel move and rips off the turnbuckle pad. Diesel gets a suplex to avoid being rammed into it and both guys are down. Shawn gets an arm over him for a long two as the fans aren’t seeming to care much here.

In a slick counter, Diesel catches a bulldog off the middle rope in a side slam. Nice move. Shawn circles Diesel but gets his legs tripped from under him. Diesel goes old school with a slingshot into the exposed buckle. If only that had actually been where he landed, as Shawn’s head hit the middle buckle instead of the top one. Big boot and Jackknife end this anyway.

Rating: B. As you can tell, I really like this match. It’s not famous at all but it’s definitely solid all around. There was a story with the ribs, a controversy that would lead to rematches and a clean ending. The match also got enough time to put on something decent and it showed. Shawn was clearly coming into his own but still wanted to prove himself. Solid effort all around and a very good match. These two had some of the most forgotten great matches of all time and this is one of them for sure.

Shawn and Sid complain to Ross and say it’s not over, which it wasn’t. The celebrities celebrate with Diesel forever and Nash gets both chicks.

Shawn complains even more in the back.

Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

If you have never seen a person die and you want to…actually if you want to I’d recommend psychiatric help. But anyway, right here you’re about to see a man’s career die right in front of your eyes.

Here it is. Let it be known throughout the universe and all the world, that the reason that WM 11 is called the worst WM of all time is this match and this angle right here. Here’s the idea: for those of you that don’t know, LT is one of the best football players of all time, bar none. He was at the Royal Rumble in the front row and Bigelow shoved him, leading to this.

Instead of the WWF Title being on the line in the main event of the biggest show of the year, we get a retired football player against a barely upper midcarder that was about 8 years past his prime. Do I even need to explain why this was a bad idea? Each man has a group of 5 supporters at ringside so it’s more or less a lumberjack match. Their entrances take the greater part of forever. Oh and Salt N Peppa sing LT to the ring.

Pat Patterson of all people is the referee. There are so many jokes I could make about that I don’t know where to start. This is by far and away the main event of the show which still makes my head shake. I used to complain that Lawrence couldn’t wrestle but that was the point I think: he wasn’t supposed to be able to wrestle but rather be able to fight.

Diesel had been showing him some stuff apparently. The bell hasn’t rung yet so we’re just hanging around and waiting to start. Patterson wants a handshake but Lawrence slaps Bigelow instead and it’s on. Taylor likes to throw forearms which makes sense as it’s a basic strike. Taylor sends him to the floor with Bigelow doing the majority of the work to get himself over the top.

Bigelow misses a corner splash and Taylor gets a belly to back for two. More forearms which keep working so naturally he keeps going with them. Taylor gets in the face of the Million Dollar Team as we’re still waiting on the big brawl between the guys on the floor. Lawrence gets caught on his way back in and now we get into the main part of the match.

They’re going very slow which is understandable here. Falling headbutt misses Taylor but he can’t capitalize and Bigelow takes over again. Boston Crab goes on which shifts into a sloppy half crab instead. Ok now it’s shifted into more or less Bigelow pulling on Taylor’s leg. This is a very different kind of match and not incredibly interesting.

The rope is finally grabbed and Taylor goes back to the forearms. A suplex gets Taylor out of trouble for a bit and both guys are down. Bigelow gets the advantage again and hits the Moonsault but hurts his knee, having to roll off. He covers shortly thereafter and gets two to ZERO reaction. I think the fans were confused or flat out didn’t care. Either way it’s not a good sign.

LT gets a gutwrench suplex that is called a Jackknife for two. Enziguri puts Taylor down again and this is really needing to end like now. Top rope headbutt gets two and a tiny reaction. Taylor makes his big comeback and hammers away with the forearms and now the crowd is getting into it. In the big spot of the match, LT goes to the middle rope and hits a flying forearm to get the pin. Taylor might have been hurt but he seems ok. DiBiase rips into Bigelow post match, setting up his failure of a face turn.

Rating: D+. Well they tried. I’ll give them that: they tried. For the life of me I don’t get why this is what they closed the show with. Well actually I do as it was certainly the biggest match, but it shouldn’t have been if that makes sense. Taylor’s offense made sense as he kept at it with the forearms, but the match didn’t work for the most part. Still though, not completely unwatchable but not incredibly good.

Overall Rating: F+. Yeah this show is still boring. It feels more like an In Your House rather than what it should have been, which is the biggest show of the year. Shawn vs. Diesel is good and that’s about it. Everything else is completely forgettable to say the least and the main event is one of the biggest headscratchers of all time.

To give you an idea of how odd this show is, it runs less than two and a half hours. Think about that. Wrestlemania ran less than two and a half hours. The show was shockingly well received though and it got a solid buyrate for the time. It doesn’t hold up well at all and that’s what kills it. 95 simply wasn’t kind to PPV and this is probably the second worst show of the year, after Summerslam. Bad show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 1995
Date: January 22, 1995
Location: USF Sun Dome, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Oh dang it 1995 WWF still exists. This is that year that no one likes to talk about and you have to fly through it as fast as you can or you might risk seeing something on it. The big twist this year is that the intervals in the Rumble are only 60 seconds, so the whole match is like 40 minutes long. The other problem is that Diesel is WWF Champion here. The good news is that he’s facing Bret Hart, one of the two men capable of dragging an awesome match out of him. Let’s get to it.

We open with the big deal about tonight’s show: Pamela Anderson arrives. She’ll be escorting the winner of the Rumble to the ring at Wrestlemania. A bunch of guys arrive to greet her.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Jarrett is challenging and now has the Roadie with him. Razor starts with his usual assortment of punches and a fallaway slam to send Jeff to the floor. After a little toweling off on the floor, Jeff armdrags Razor down and struts. They trade arm holds until Razor gets taken to the mat where Jeff messes with his hair. Careful with the grease there Jeff. Razor gets annoyed and knocks Jeff to the floor for some more Memphis stalling.

Jeff gets back in and is immediately puts in an armbar where Razor can mess with Jarrett’s hair. Some dropkicks floor the champ and a clothesline gets two. Razor catches a boot coming and ducks the enziguri from Jeff, but Razor misses an elbow to keep Jarrett in control. We hit the chinlock followed by a sunset flip by Jeff for two. Another dropkick gets the same and Jarrett is getting frustrated.

Jarrett hooks a sleeper but Razor quickly counters. The counter doesn’t last long though as Jeff hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. Ramon slides behind Jeff in the corner and crotches him on the post to a big pop. We get a messed up (not botched mind you) spot where Razor was going to try a bulldog off the middle rope but Jeff turns around and it had to be a clothesline. Eh no harm no foul. Jeff backdrops Razor to the floor, injuring the champ’s knee. Roadie clips him in the knee and Razor gets counted out.

We won’t get to the rating just yet. Post match Jeff calls Razor a coward for taking the easy way out like that and calls him back into the ring. Razor pulls a Marty McFly and takes the bait, giving us another match.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Razor tries some quick rollups for two but Jeff goes right for the knee to take over. Jeff does his best Ric Flair imitation but as he goes for the third cannonball down onto the leg, Razor kicks him over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Jarrett puts on the Figure Four, putting Razor in a lot of trouble. Razor escapes and starts his comeback with punches and the belly to back superplex but Jeff counters in mid air for two. Razor clotheslines him down and loads up the Edge, but the knee gives out and Jeff rolls him up for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. I always remember liking this match and it holds up pretty well. Memphis stalling isn’t for everyone but it’s a good way of drawing heel heat, which Jeff might as well have been an iceberg for otherwise. Razor was awesome at this point and had good chemistry with Jeff, so this worked pretty well all around. The ending was smart as it was Razor’s trademark ending for house shows, but he would usually win in about 30 seconds with the Razor’s Edge. Nice to see them switch things up here.

Pamela Anderson has been given a lot of gifts from various wrestlers. One of the running gags on this show is that Pamela clearly doesn’t want to be here at all and has these “GET ME OUT OF HERE” looks on her face the whole night. Todd Pettingill tries to hit on her and completely fails of course.

Jeff says it’s time to celebrate.

IRS vs. The Undertaker

This is the start of the Undertaker vs. Million Dollar Team feud which went on FOREVER. The bell rings and we stand around a lot. IRS tries to jump Taker from behind and it goes nowhere. Taker glares him down to the floor and the stalling continues. IRS slides in, gets glared down, and hides on the floor again. Finally we head back in with IRS pounding away and getting kicked in the face for his efforts.

Taker grabs him by the tie and swings him out of the corner, followed by Old School as this is dominance so far. IRS and DiBiase get in an argument on the floor, causing DiBiase to call for some druids. Taker loads up Old School again but the druid shakes the rope and Taker goes down. A clothesline puts Taker on the floor where he beats on the druids a bit before IRS jumps him from behind.

The druids send Taker into the steps and there’s an abdominal stretch by IRS. That goes nowhere so Taker misses an elbow to really slow himself down. IRS hits some basic stuff as the crowd is almost completely silent. Druid interference gets two for IRS and also allows him to escape the Tombstone. A clothesline puts Taker down but he pops up and hits a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D. At the end of the day, this was about thirteen minutes of Taker beating up IRS. I mean….did ANYONE buy IRS as a threat to the Dead Man here? That was the problem with the eight month long feud between Taker and DiBiase’s group: no one on the team was a real threat to him at all. Bad match here but that had to be expected.

Post match Taker beats up the druids and has a staredown with King Kong Bundy. During the staring, IRS steals the Urn. There’s the launch of the feud and Bundy beats up Taker for awhile.

Diesel doesn’t have much to say about his match with Bret.

Bret is ready for his chance at the title.

WWF World Title: Diesel vs. Bret Hart

Diesel is defending in case you’re really slow. Bret tries to brawl to start but is almost immediately knocked down by a big shot to the face. A clothesline puts Bret on the floor where he chills for a bit. Back in and Bret goes after the knee like a smart Hitman. He puts on a quick Figure Four and after a good deal of time in it, Diesel gets to the rope. Bret does something you hardly ever see enough: he puts the same hold back on. Why don’t more people do that? He had Diesel in trouble, so why mess with what was working?

Diesel makes the rope again and heads to the floor where Bret hits a suicide dive to have the champ reeling. Diesel shrugs it off and sends Hart into the steps to get a breather. With Bret in the ropes, Diesel hits the running crotch attack to his back. There’s a backbreaker to Bret and Diesel bends him across the knee a bit. Bret fires off some right hands but gets whipped hard into the buckle to stop him cold.

The champ loads up the Jackknife but instead puts Bret on his shoulder for a backbreaker. Why he doesn’t JACKKNIFE HIM WHEN HE HAS THE CHANCE is beyond my intelligence as Bret escapes. A big boot (Diesel’s leg seems fine) puts Bret down for two, but Bret gets a boot up of his own, followed by a middle rope clothesline for two. Hart goes up and Diesel tries to slam him off, but the knee goes out, giving Bret a two count.

The kickout sends Bret to the floor and he pulls Diesel’s legs out for the figure four around the post. Actually scratch that as he ties Diesel’s legs together instead and pounds away. The Five Moves of Doom get two but Diesel grabs a rope to block the Sharpshooter. Bret clotheslines him to the floor but a dive is caught in mid-air. The tall guy rams him into the post and hits the Jackknife in the ring, but Shawn Michaels runs in to break up the count.

Shawn beats on Diesel’s leg which isn’t a DQ for no apparent reason. Shawn and Diesel had split up at Survivor Series if you’re wondering why this beating is happening. We get a ruling that the match must continue to the delight (yes I said delight) of the crowd. Bret goes back to the knee, hooking another Figure Four. Diesel can’t get to the ropes so he hits Bret in the bad ribs to escape. Ah selling, how I love you.

Diesel is all ticked off now and pounds away on Bret in the corner. A gutwrench suplex of all things gets two for the champ but a big boot in the corner misses. Bret wraps Diesel’s leg around the post and blasts it with a chair. There’s the Sharpshooter but now it’s Owen coming in for the save and a beatdown on Bret. I would say there’s a great tag match in there, but Bret and Shawn teaming up would mean the end of the world as we know it.

The match is going to continue AGAIN though and Diesel gets two on Bret. The place is starting to lose its minds over these near falls. Bret sends him into the buckle that Owen exposed and pounds away as Diesel is rocking again. Diesel comes back AGAIN with elbows and forearms to the face before punching Bret into the ropes where Hart’s legs are caught. Bret is holding his knee but you never know with him.

Yep, he stands up and lays back down in some classic Hart goldbricking. Diesel goes for the Jackknife but Bret fakes him into a small package for two. Bret tries an O’Connor Roll and the referee is bumped. Backlund, Michaels, Roadie and Jarrett run in and that’s FINALLY enough for the double DQ.

Rating: A. These two had MAD chemistry together and this was no exception. They knew how to work the David vs. Goliath (I’m not sure how fair it is to call Bret David actually) formula to perfection and the matches were great as a result. Why the company kept going with Diesel vs. power guys is beyond me, because his best stuff comes against small guys like Bret and Shawn and always has.

Backlund stays in the ring and puts the Crossface Chicken Wing on Bret. This set up their I Quit match at Mania which even Bret admits sucked. Diesel makes the save and hugs Bret.

More Pettingill and Anderson stuff.

Bob Holly and 1-2-3 Kid are excited to be in the finals of the tag team title tournament.

Tag Titles: Bob Holly/1-2-3 Kid vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Tatanka

Shawn and Diesel split up and we needed champions. Holly and Tatanka start things off with Tatanka hitting a side slam for two. Holly comes back with a slam and a few dropkicks as this is going nowhere so far. Off to the Kid vs. Bigelow, with the big man running over both of the smaller guys with ease. Bigelow LAUNCHES Kid into the air but gets caught in a rana to send Bam Bam rolling.

Back to Tatanka who whips Kid into the buckles a few times before it’s off to Bigelow to pound on the small guy some more. In something that actually impressed me, Kid backdrops Bigelow to the floor. Both small guys try top rope cross bodies but they escape and dropkick the heels together. Things settle down with Tatanka beating on Holly for a LONG time. Bigelow comes in, allowing Tatanka to distract the Kid. Holly goes to the corner to find no partner and Bigelow splashes Bob.

Holly gets beaten down so badly that he goes to the wrong corner and tags in Tatanka. Thank goodness this isn’t the Attitude Era because it probably would have been legal in some of their matches. Tatanka comes in for more beating on Holly until Bob FINALLY gets in a clothesline for the hot tag to the Kid. Everything breaks down and Kid is LAUNCHED to the floor by Bigelow. Bam Bam loads up the moonsault but Tatanka accidentally hits the ropes to knock him to the mat. Somehow that’s enough for the pin and the titles for the Kid.

Rating: C+. This went nearly sixteen minutes which was just too long. It’s quite good but it would have been great if they cut off five minutes or so. Those launches by Bigelow were awesome looking as Kid continues to be an excellent seller of moves like those. The idea was that it was all Bigelow’s fault, even though Tatanka is totally to blame for Bigelow crashing like that. The Gunns would win the titles back the next night on Raw, making this whole thing pretty pointless.

Post match DiBiase and Tatanka leave Bigelow in the ring, where Lawrence Taylor, NFL legend, laughs at him. Bigelow shoves him down, and there’s Wrestlemania people.

We get a recap of the 94 Rumble, focusing on Diesel’s dominance and Shawn helping to eliminate him.

Shawn laughs a bit.

We look at the ending to the match from last year.

Luger says he wants the title. Lex, it’s been over for you for like eight months now. Let it go dude.

Vince apologizes to Lawrence Taylor.

Here’s Pamela Anderson to watch the Rumble at ringside and MAN does she look miserable.

Royal Rumble

Shawn is #1 and Bulldog is #2. Shawn immediately jumps Bulldog but this isn’t going to last long. Remember there are one minute intervals, which was just a bad idea in general. Smith gets a quick gorilla press, but why throw Shawn OUT when you can just slam him? That clearly won’t come back to haunt him later or anything of course. Smith charges into a boot and here’s Eli Blu (one of the Harris Brothers, who were the big bald bikers who were around for WAY too long) at #3.

Nothing happens so here’s Duke Droese (a wrestling garbageman) at #4. Eli fights Smith and Droese squeezes Shawn until Jimmy Del Ray of the Heavenly Bodies is #5. Nothing continues to happen because there isn’t enough time between entries. Sione (Barbarian) of the Headshrinkers is #6 as Del Ray is tossed out. Tom Prichard of the Heavyenly Bodies is #7 and STILL nothing is happening.

Doink is #8 as the Rumble is going way too fast. It’s like the original Rumble: not enough names to care about and nothing going on at the same time. Kwang is #9 and Rick Martel is #10, I believe in his last WWF match. There are nine people in the ring right now. Shawn is almost out but fights off Kwang to survive. Owen Hart is in at #11 and here’s Bret to jump him in the aisle. Owen survives and climbs in, only to be eliminated in three seconds.

Shawn puts out Droese and Timothy Well (partners with Steven Dunn in the tag team of Well Dunn) is #12 and is out almost immediately. Martel and Prichard go out faster than I can see them and Kwang superkicks Doink out. Luke of the Bushwhackers is #13 and during his entrance, everyone but Bulldog and Shawn are gone. Literally, four people were put out inside of six seconds. Luke is out almost immediately and it’s Shawn vs. Bulldog again.

Here’s Jacob Blu at #14 and HE TOO is gone in like fifteen seconds. This is so stupid. King Kong Bundy is #15 and he beats on both guys for about twenty seconds before it’s Mo at #16. Mo is like the fifth guy to last less than thirty seconds. If your roster is this weak, CUT THE FREAKING MATCH DOWN. Nothing else happens until Mable is #17 for the showdown with Bundy. Mabel dumps him out as Butch is #18 and is gone in less than 20 seconds as well. More on this later.

Lex Luger is #19 and he goes right for Mabel for no apparent reason. He eliminates the fat purple and gold dude before gorilla pressing Michaels down like an idiot. Mantaur, a stupid monster character, is #20. He beats on Luger and Bulldog until Aldo Montoya (Justin Credible with a jockstrap on his face) is #21. Henry Godwinn is #22 as we’re waiting on a bunch of people to get thrown out so everyone can go home. I think this is one of Henry’s first matches.

Billy Gunn is #23 so naturally Bart Gunn is #24. Bob Backlund is #25 and also lasts about fifteen seconds due to a Bret Hart attack. Steven Dunn is #26 as there are like ten people in there. Bret and Backlund fight in the aisle again and old man Dick Murdoch is #27. Mantaur misses a charge at Bart and Adam Bomb is #28. For the second year in a row, Vince decides Adam Bomb is going to win the Rumble. Seriously.

Fatu is #29 and Luger eliminates Mantaur. Crush is #30, giving us a final group of Shawn, Bulldog, Luger, Montoya, Godwinn, Bart, Billy, Dunn, Murdoch, Bomb, Fatu and Crush, or WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE. Thankfully Crush immediately eliminates the Gunns to clear the ring out a bit. We cut to Anderson who gives a very uninterested wave and points to the ring. You know, because this is SO beneath her. Well, not beneath her enough to give the check back or anything but you get the idea.

Dunn is put out off camera and Murdoch almost puts Shawn out. Luger makes the save due to a lack of intelligence as Murdoch tries headbutts on Fatu. Naturally it doesn’t work at all because YOU DON’T HEADBUTT A SAMOAN. Bomb is backdropped out and Shawn throwsn Montoya out. Luger saves Shawn AGAIN and Crush eliminates Fatu. There are six guys left: Murdoch (who hits a dropkick and airplane spin on Godwinn), Godwinn, Shawn, Bulldog, Crush and Luger.

Murdoch gets dizzy from the spin and falls out to get us down to five. Lex dumps Godwinn and we’ve got four left. Michaels and Crush double team Luger as Bulldog gets a breather. They dump Lex and we’ve got three guys left. Smith gets double teamed until Shawn turns on Crush and is lifted into the air. Bulldog uses the distraction to eliminate Crush and it’s one on one. Davey destroys Shawn and presses him onto (not over. That would make sense) the top rope. Shawn is knocked over the top, but in the famous finish, he hangs on and ONLY ONE FOOT touches, allowing Shawn to come back in and eliminate Smith to win.

Rating: D. This is a hard one to grade, because the stuff that was decent was in fact decent. The problem is there wasn’t much stuff that falls into that category. First and foremost, SEVEN PEOPLE OUT OF THIRTY did not last thirty seconds. If they’re that meaningless to the match, simply do not put them in the Rumble. It looks stupid and there’s no reason to have them out there.

Second, the time intervals. These were a major issues because there’s no time to get ANYTHING going in the match. When you count ten seconds or so to get into the ring (some people take up to twenty), you’re looking at about 45 seconds of action with the new guy before someone else comes out. That’s just not enough time to get anything going at all.

Third, and this is probably the biggest problem of the match, look at the roster here. At a glance, I see four people with actual chances to win: Crush, Luger (they’re both BIG stretches), Bulldog, and Shawn. After that there’s Owen Hart but he was one of the guys that didn’t make it thirty seconds in the ring.

Then you’re looking at guys like Montoya and Well Dunn and the Bushwhackers (who amazingly still had jobs in 1995) and the Heavenly Bodies (by my count there were five tag teams in here, or one third of the match. WAY too many guys at that level) and Dick freaking Murdoch. This is a match that was BEGGING for a midcard to come in and fill in some spots. Guys like Ramon and Jarrett and Bigelow and Tatanka would have helped this match a ton, but instead we get all these fillers. That’s a big reason why this didn’t work.

Anderson poses with Shawn to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade because as good as the world title match is, the Rumble sucks it right back down. IRS vs. Taker isn’t anything good but it’s much more boring than bad. The opener and tag matches are good so I can’t complain much there. 1995 would be AWFUL for the most part though, mainly due to all of the problems you could see coming in the Rumble. Still though, not an awful show by any stretch and it has a great world title match.

Ratings Comparison

Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. IRS

Original: D

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Diesel

Original: B-

Redo: A

Bob Holly/1-2-3 Kid vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Tatanka

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Royal Rumble

Original: D+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: C+

What in the world was I thinking on the title match? It was great.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/14/royal-rumble-count-up-1995/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 19, 1993
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Rob Bartlett

We’re a few weeks removed from Wrestlemania now and the big story here is a Tag Team Title match between Money Inc. and the soon to be gone Beverly Brothers. Other than that, expect your regular assortment of squashes that aren’t the most interesting things in the world but do in fact fill in an hour of TV time. Let’s get to it.

Money Inc. laughs off the idea of the Beverly Brothers as a threat.

The Beverlies are ready to bankrupt Money Inc.

Razor Ramon vs Virgil

Yes really. Virgil grabs a hammerlock to start so Razor takes the easy way out by going to the ropes. Razor’s headlock takeover is reversed into a headscissors to get things back to even. Bartlett is impressed by Razor not losing the toothpick behind his ear, even as he gets caught in another hammerlock. The fans are behind Razor here because….well….would you cheer for Virgil? A missed dropkick lets Razor take over and it’s off to the abdominal stretch.

Razor slams him and gets in the slaps to the back of the head, setting up something like an STF. Virgil taps as Bartlett suggests that Virgil pull a knife to get out of the hold. He finally grabs a rope instead and gets up a boot in the corner. The middle rope clothesline looks to set up a spinning crossbody but Virgil only hits the mat. The Razor’s Edge is good for the pin.

Rating: D. How did Virgil keep a job for so long? I know he was a name but don’t you have to win more than one or two matches in your life for that name to have value? He just wasn’t interesting and Razor taking nearly seven minutes to beat him didn’t look great. Boring match too.

Rob Bartlett has a black eye from the Luna/Sherri brawl last week.

Giant Gonzalez vs. LA Gore

Gore has one of the best, ahem, adult mustaches I’ve ever seen. Gonzalez pulls him in the ring by the head and hits a big clothesline to start. There’s a chop to set up the chokeslam for the easy pin. Total squash, as you probably guessed.

Luna Vachon, in a small dungeon, promises evil on Sherri. We see some clips of Luna beating her up multiple times, including last week. In short, she’s just crazy and a fight should be coming.

Tatanka vs. Art Thomas

Thomas has a great physique that you would think would get him a spot somewhere. He sends Tatanka into the corner to start and gets in a few shots to the ribs. Some more forearms to the back wake Tatanka up as Vince keeps calling him Mark Thomas. The Papoose To Go finishes Thomas in a hurry.

Money Inc. vs. Beverly Brothers

Non-title with Vince admitting that no one likes either team. Before the match, IRS promises that there will be no extensions if you didn’t file your taxes. Money Inc. jumps them to start but gets knocked outside in a hurry. Ever the unfunny non-genius, Bartlett thinks he’s watching the Beverly Hillbillies. Blake works on a wristlock to start and gets nowhere at all.

A shoulder drops Blake and now Bartlett thinks Vince is named Dave. It’s off to Beau for the arm work with Blake adding a flying headbutt to the elbow. An armbar goes on and DiBiase’s hot tag to IRS isn’t seen. I….I don’t know how to handle the idea of DiBiase as a face in peril. Thankfully Bartlett is there with a stupid question about Luna being a woman of the 90s. Savage’s advice: “Never trust a woman whose voice is deeper than mine.” That’s rather logical actually.

DiBiase’s arm is sent into the buckle but manages a slam for the hot tag off to IRS. That just earns him an armbar of his own as the Beverlies are looking better than I’ve ever seen them. I mean, they’re still dull, but that’s an upgrade for them. A fireman’s carry takeover gets two and Blake cranks on another armbar. Some double team choking keeps IRS in trouble and we take a break.

Back with IRS holding Beau in a front facelock as the announcers don’t bother explaining how control changed. DiBiase comes in with no tag but insists he made one and that’s good enough. A swinging neckbreaker gets Beau out of trouble and bringing Blake back in because now the Beverlies are faces. Beau gets tagged back in way too soon but gets two off a backdrop. Heel (I think?) miscommunication causes Beau to clothesline Blake though and DiBiase steals the pin.

Rating: D+. This could have been something interesting with a better team than the Beverly Brothers but there’s not much you can do to get past their nothing status. They never were an important team and since no one cared, why would I be interested in watching them fight the top heel team? Get a more charismatic team in there and this could have worked, but here it was a waste of time.

Vince brings out Bret Hart for a chat. Bret says he was the underdog against Yokozuna but he’s used to that status. He’s lost titles before and he feels strange without having one on his shoulder right now. Therefore, he’s going to get some revenge and first up on his hit list is Lex Luger. He got knocked out by Luger’s elbow at the Wrestlemania brunch and thinks there should be an investigation because there’s more than bone under that pad. Bret wants the title back too and he’s going to go through Luger, then Yokozuna and even Hulk Hogan to be champion again.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Phil Apollo

Apollo would eventually play Doink. Bigelow throws him off a headlock to start and hits a running headbutt for a bonus. We’re already off to the neck crank as this isn’t likely to last long. A dropkick is swatted away and a suplex drops Apollo again. Speaking of Doink, here he comes to spray fans with his umbrella. Apollo gets splashed in the corner as Bigelow is taking his time on this one. A backsplash sets up the Swan Dive to finally finish Apollo.

Rating: D. Bigelow was in an interesting place at this point as he was being pushed pretty hard but didn’t break through to the main event scene for the better part of two years. He’s fine in this role, but an actual story for him might be nice. You know, like with someone who can bounce off of him well and make both of them look good.

Post match Friar Ferguson comes out for the staredown with Bigelow. THAT’S NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND!!! Ferguson dropkicks Bigelow in the back to put him on the floor. Again: THAT’S NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND!!!

Overall Rating: D. I can’t get my mind around the fact that they thought Ferguson was going to be around long enough to get beaten up by Bigelow. Other than that, this was a show where they started to move towards some more interesting stuff, mainly with Bret being there. Star power is one of the most important parts of Raw and if your biggest name is a still pretty new Razor Ramon, you’re not getting very far. They’re getting closer to getting somewhere, but it’s not here yet.

I’ve already done the April 26 show so here you go if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/27/on-this-day-april-26-1993-monday-night-raw-1993-with-a-marriage-proposal/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 7, 1994
Location: Fernwood Resort, Bushkill, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Survivor Series 1994, which means it’s time to talk about the Harts. Bret and Owen have been feuding all year, including a heck of a cage match at Summerslam. Jim Neidhart interfered on Owen’s behalf but British Bulldog made the save, setting up something like a fever dream tag match here. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

For a historical note: this is the first time Lawler ever did commentary for the show.

Bret Hart/British Bulldog vs. Owen Hart/Jim Neidhart

You can’t say the Hart Family wasn’t extensive. It’s a brawl to start with the villains being sent into each other, followed by Bulldog pressing Owen over the top onto Neidhart. Bret launches Neidhart back in and we settle down a bit. My goodness it’s odd seeing Bret beating on Neidhart but 1994 was a strange time. A bearhug goes nowhere for Neidhart and it’s off to the Bulldog for the power struggle.

Bulldog shrugs off some double teaming and hits the delayed vertical on Owen. We hit the lamest armbar I’ve seen in a good while until Owen comes back with an enziguri. Serves Bulldog right for something so lazy. Vince goes over the towel colors in the upcoming submission match because that’s the kind of time these people have to kill. Neidhart comes in for a chinlock, followed by a double clothesline to drop Bulldog again.

That means another chinlock, again likely due to the high amount of time they have. Neidhart gets two off a gutwrench suplex and we take a break. Back with Bulldog grabbing a sunset flip for an ECW fast two. We hit the front facelock to keep Bulldog in trouble, only to have Owen draw Bret in so there can’t be a hot tag. I love spots like that and they’re always going to work.

It’s back to the chinlock (the Owen Edition this time), followed by the reverse version for good measure. Bulldog fights up and gets two off a backslide but Neidhart comes back in and pounds him in the corner. We take a second break and come back with a double knockdown to put Bulldog and Owen in trouble.

Just because we haven’t had enough of my favorite stuff yet, Bulldog makes the tag but Neidhart has the referee so it doesn’t count. Bulldog sends them into each other though and NOW the hot tag brings Bret in to clean house. We hit the Five Moves of Doom on Neidhart but Owen gets in a cheap shot from the apron. Owen’s top rope ax to Bret’s head gives Neidhart two more but Bulldog sends Owen into the steps. The Sharpshooter makes Neidhart give up.

Rating: B. Good, long tag match here with both teams getting to throw in a lot of offense. Bret winning makes the most sense and it’s good to have him beat Neidhart instead of Owen, which he’s done multiple times now. The upcoming title match with Backlund vs. Bret should be interesting but you can feel the big stuff coming.

Todd Pettengill has the Survivor Series Report (and an AWESOME Survivor Series shirt) and tells us the story of someone waiting too long to order the show and being arrested for stealing the VHS. The big story for the show is Chuck Norris acting as guest enforcer for the casket match. Chuck wants the toughest, meanest men in the world, which is why he’s showing up.

We also hear about the Survivor Series teams, back when they had actual names and not Team *insert captain’s name here*. I know Guts & Glory isn’t great but it’s SOMETHING and that’s more than you get today. A recap of the WWF World Title match wraps things up. I still want that shirt.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Tyron Knox

Tyron’s right hands have no effect and Bigelow clotheslines him down. Vince chuckles at the VINCE FOR SENATE sign in the crowd as Bigelow tosses Knox out of the corner. We hit the chinlock for a bit as the announcers talk about everything else other than this match. Bigelow grabs a front facelock as this is going longer than necessary. Now it’s a neck crank before Bigelow puts his hands on his hips, seemingly out of boredom. A dropkick and the enziguri ends Knox.

Rating: D-. Even more boring than your usual squash with Bigelow not exactly looking thrilled to be out there. Knox got in a bit more offense than your usual jobber but that just extended the match further than it needed to go. To be fair though, sometimes a squash isn’t going to work because you can only get so excited about something like this every given week.

And now for the historical moment: Vince announces that Randy Savage couldn’t come to terms on a new contract with the company and is gone. He does offer what sounds like a heartfelt thank you for everything Savage has done, including wishing him good luck. And that’s the last positive thing you would hear about Savage for a very long time.

It’s time for the King’s Court with guest the 1-2-3 Kid. Lawler says Kid is going out for Halloween wearing a white hat and fuzzy house slippers so he can be a Q-Tip. Kid is going to be in trouble next week when he faces Bob Backlund, but Kid isn’t worried about the crossface chickenwing. Cue Backlund but Kid kicks him to the floor without much effort. Bret comes out to make sure nothing else happens.

This Sunday on Action Zone: Bob Holly vs. Jerry Lawler! That’s not even a weak indy main event.

Doink the Clown vs. Pat Tanaka

Doink has Dink, Wink and Pink with him so Lawler gets covered in silly string. Tanaka’s name graphic doesn’t come up until a little bit into the match. Doink mocks the Crane Kick pose as the announcers talk about the upcoming Clowns R Us vs. Royal Family match, just to make my blood pressure go up. A clothesline has Tanaka in trouble but he grabs a dragon screw legwhip to take over. The leg work doesn’t go very far though as Doink gets in a belly to back suplex, followed by the Whoopee Cushion for the pin.

Rating: D. Doink wasn’t exactly thrilling at this point and the upcoming match would be one of the least entertaining matches the company would ever put together. As soon as the character started being geared towards children, he was dead in the water and everyone knew it. Tatanka should have been around more often as he was talented enough to fill a lower card roll around this point. But nah, just let him job to a clown instead.

Post match the mini clowns steal Jerry’s crown and return it with a jewel missing.

Back from a break with Lawler yelling at the mini Kings. The Clowns come out and snarling ensues.

Bret says he’ll be here when the 1-2-3 Kid faces Backlund last week. It’s the old generation vs. the new generation and the Kid is the best of the new. That’s some high praise but after their awesome title match, I’m not surprised.

Overall Rating: C+. It’s a one match show but that was a heck of a match. The Bret vs. Backlund stuff certainly isn’t for everyone but once they got into it, they had a classic at Survivor Series. The squash matches were really bad this week though and that dragged the rest of the show down. Check out the tag match though.

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 27, 1995
Location: Macon Coliseum, Macon, Georgia
Attendance: 2,751
Commentators: Jim Cornette, Vince McMahon

Strike up the band because it’s the 100^th episode! This time around we have a “live” appearance by Lawrence Taylor as the road to Wrestlemania continues. Other than that it’s Lex Luger vs. Tatanka in a feud I was hoping would have died by now. I don’t think they have enough history for a retrospective yet but this company astounds me with its ability to praise itself at times. Let’s get to it.

There’s a new opening sequence, which wouldn’t last long but it was nice for a change.

Luger recaps the Tatanka feud, which started at Summerslam and then picked up about six months later. Tatanka recently attacked his mentor Chief Jay Strongbow, who will be in Luger’s corner tonight. Luger has nothing here and you can feel how little he cares.

Tatanka vs. Lex Luger

Ted DiBiase and Chief Jay Strongbow are the seconds. Luger hammers him out to the floor without too much effort and we hit the long form stall button. Back in and Tatanka starts with the chops so Luger shrugs them off as you would expect a good (or mediocre in Luger’s case) hero to do. Some right hands stagger Tatanka but he manages to grab the trunks and send Luger outside in a heap.

Back in and Tatanka chops away some more to take us to a break. We come back with Luger still in trouble and Strongbow slowly clapping him on. Strongbow is a famous name but he just feels WAY out of place here. Tatanka grabs a bearhug and Luger doesn’t even look moderately annoyed. Luger slugs away to break one of the lamest bearhugs I’ve ever seen and the comeback is on. A sleeper, which was apparently taught to him by Strongbow, is easily broken up and Tatanka steals Strongbow’s headdress.

Jay chops him back and Luger hammers away as we take a second break. Back again with Tatanka being clotheslined to the floor and teasing a walk out until Luger drags him to the ring. If he has to deal with this boring feud, so does Tatanka. Luger slams him down and sends Tatanka into the corner over and over. A bunch of stomping sends Tatanka to the floor and this time the walk out works to give Luger the countout win.

Rating: D-. So we wait twenty minutes including two commercials and put up with the Strongbow cameo which meant a grand total of nothing for a walk out finish. In theory this was designed to set up a strap match at Wrestlemania but thankfully the company came to their senses and realized this feud was death for both guys.

Clip of Jerry Lawler being knocked to the floor in a battle royal but landing on one foot. He hopped around the ring to try to get back in….until Bret Hart came down and stomped on his foot to complete the elimination. Cute bit.

Owen Hart vs. Larry Santo

Owen works a hammerlock to start as we hear about his search for a tag partner to challenge the Smoking Gunns. Cornette tries to tell us that Santo is the son of El Santo but Vince doesn’t quite buy it. Owen spinwheel kicks him down as we talk about Taylor vs. Bigelow. A legdrop has Santo in trouble but he actually scores with a few right hands. Those go nowhere of course and it’s the missile dropkick into the Sharpshooter to make Santo quit.

Rating: D. Just a squash here with the announcers ignoring the match to talk about the big story. That’s fine in a match like this that means nothing and at least we heard about Owen’s story to start. Owen moving to the tag division made sense as it gave him a chance to shine without being overshadowed by Bret.

Vince and Cornette talk about the mainstream coverage of Taylor vs. Bigelow. You know Vince loves that stuff.

Taylor joins us to talk about the incident with Bigelow at the Royal Rumble. He thought about fighting back but decided to keep his cool. Also, he’s not cool with the WWF showing the clip over and over on national TV. Preach it brother. Cornette accuses Taylor of being scared but if that were the case, he’d just call the cops and that’s not happening. Bigelow pops in to talk trash and a meeting is set up at the Harley Davidson Cafe in some undisclosed city. This was WAY too long and Taylor came off as incredibly uninteresting and boring. I get the mainstream stuff but my goodness it was annoying to wrestling fans, as it always is.

Doink the Clown vs. Bob Cook

Cook is yet another NWA jobber. Doink kicks him in the back to start and works on the arm as the announcers talk about tomorrow’s press conference. Dink comes in and rolls over Cook and Vince starts talking about adults being overweight. The armbar transitions into a hammerlock before Doink slams him down. The Whoopee Cushion ends Cook without too much trouble.

Rating: D-. The announcers clearly didn’t care about this one and it was just there for the sake of filling in more of the show. This is the kind of match that makes me not want to do a lot of these shows in a row as they’re just not interesting. Raw is two years old at this point and this formula is really wearing thin.

We recap Shawn Michaels’ issues with British Bulldog to set up their match next week.

Kama vs. Ken Raper

Kama takes him down a few times with no issues as Cornette is already more interested in this match than he was in the entire Doink match. A spinning kick to the ribs has Raper in trouble and let’s make fun of Cornette’s weight again. Kama demands better competition and talks more trash before finishing with an STF.

Rating: D. Kama was fine for the time but he would have died as soon as MMA became a bigger thing. The strikes looked good and Kama demanding competition was fine, though it comes at the end of what feels like a very long show. Vince mocking Cornette was the most entertaining thing about the match and that was the same thing we heard in the previous match.

British Bulldog is ready for Shawn next week.

Todd Pettengill tells us how to call in for updates from the press conference, for a nominal fee of course.

Overall Rating: D-. The featured match was long with a lame ending, the interview showed how bad Taylor was in the role and the squashes were bad even by Raw standards. It’s a bad show and more of a reason why this period is almost never talked about. Not a good show in any real way and that’s a sad way to celebrate such a milestone.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 20, 1995
Location: Macon Coliseum, Macon, Georgia
Attendance: 2,751
Commentators: Jim Cornette, Vince McMahon

It’s actually a big show this week as we’re live with a big main event as Intercontinental Champion Jeff Jarrett challenges Diesel for the WWF World Title. In addition to that though, we’ll be finding out the identity of Shawn Michaels’ new bodyguard. Now one of these is actually a big deal and I’ll let you guess which it is. Let’s get to it.

Jarrett is ready to win the title.

Diesel, with his eyes bigger than they need to be, says tonight it’s WWF Unplugged when Jarrett’s lights are turned out. That’s not what unplugged means champ.

Opening sequence.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Gary Sabaugh

This is Bigelow’s return after a thirty day suspension. Bigelow has been calling out Lawrence Taylor so Taylor’s attorney issued a cease and desist lawyer. And we were supposed to cheer for Taylor? Sabaugh (longtime NWA jobber the Italian Stallion) takes Bigelow down without much effort and works on an armbar. Back up and Bigelow hits an enziguri as the fans cheer for Taylor. A chinlock eats up some time until a dropkick sets up the top rope headbutt to end Sabaugh.

Rating: D+. Nothing match of course but there’s an interesting story that I’m pretty sure is tied in to this show. Sabaugh would also help get some younger wrestlers booking with the bigger promotions (a common practice for a lot of wrestlers). However, he had a tendency to charge his wrestlers a fee for getting them booked (also a common practice).

In this case, two of them were supposed to come to the show for $150 an appearance, with Sabaugh getting $100 of that. Sabaugh left the two of them stranded in Charlotte on the way to the show but wanted the fee anyway. The wrestlers reported the incident to management and Sabaugh was let go. The two of them stuck around though and you may have heard of them: the Hardy Boyz.

Post match Bigelow calls out Taylor again.

Adam Bomb vs. Rip Rogers

The NWA is strong with this show. Bomb runs him over as Cornette is Rogers’ biggest fan. A dropkick puts Rogers outside and Bomb dives onto him for good measure. Back in and Bomb slugs away as Cornette thinks there’s something to Bomb. Vince says if Cornette was a manager, he could mold Bomb quite well. Cornette: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN IF I WAS A MANAGER??? WHAT DO YOU THINK I’VE DOING FOR THE LAST TWELVE YEARS???” Bomb finishes him with a top rope clothesline.

Rating: D. I’ve always been a fan of Bomb’s as he did what he was supposed to do with a power style like his. The problem is he couldn’t do something as simple as punch Rogers in the ribs without looking awkward. If nothing else there was Cornette running his mouth, which can entertain me anytime.

Bret Hart won something like the People’s Choice Award for Wrestler of the Year from WWF Magazine.

It’s time for the King’s Court with special guest Shawn Michaels to introduce his bodyguard. Before we get there though, Lawler says Bret never would have won if the fans knew what he thought about Japanese fans. This starts the Bret is racist story, which always felt like a good bit of a stretch. Anyway, Shawn talks about needing a bodyguard now that he’s won the Royal Rumble because everyone wants to take him down. Vince being annoyed at all of Shawn’s bragging and wanting him to get on it is funny.

So Shawn needs a bodyguard and it’s…..SID, who is making his return for the first time in nearly three years. Sid does his way too close to the camera interview, yelling about Diesel abandoning Shawn. What Shawn needs is a man with no remorse for anyone and there will be no bad times between the two of them. Together, they will rule the world. This was GREAT as everyone knew who Sid was and he looked like a killer so the whole thing was as good as it could have been. Outstanding stuff here and something that would set the stage for months to come.

Blu Brothers vs. Mark Starr/Leroy Howard

The Brothers clean house to start as this seems to be a short form squash. A double shoulder drops Howard and let’s go split screen with Todd Pettengill to talk about trying to get Lawrence Taylor on the phone. That’s not happening though because Taylor will be on Raw next week. Something like a belly to back suplex drops Starr as Vince compares the Appalachian Mountains to the Smoky Mountains. Starr gets tied in the ropes for a double big boot, followed by a spinebuster and legdrop for the pin.

Rating: D-. The Brothers didn’t do much for me but they probably have a record for the most gimmicks that really aren’t even slightly different than the others. I still like Howard’s look, even if he never went anywhere in his career. Bad match here of course and there’s nothing else that you should be expecting.

Diesel was at an NBA event. He still doesn’t feel like someone who belongs there, mainly due to a complete and utter lack of charisma.

WWF World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Diesel

Diesel is defending and the winner gets to kill WCW. Jeff goes after him to start but gets clotheslined out to the floor without too much effort. Back in and we hit some strutting with Cornette freaking out about Jeff not paying enough attention. A good looking beal looks to set up Snake Eyes but Jeff slips out and hammers away in the corner. Roadie’s interference has no effect so Diesel throws Jeff out onto him in a heap. Diesel knuckle locks him down and we take a break.

Back with Jeff dropkicking the champ to the floor and posting him for good measure. A middle rope bulldog (more like a clothesline to the back of the head) gets two on Diesel and a good looking high crossbody gives Jeff another near fall. Diesel is right back with Snake Eyes and a big boot though and the Jackknife finishes clean to retain the title.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all here as Jarrett is perfectly good for the well planned out match. It’s really unfair that he has such a horrible reputation as he was perfectly acceptable and often quite good in the ring. Just don’t put the main event spotlight on him and everything will be fine.

Roadie goes after Diesel and gets beaten down as well. Sid and Shawn come out to watch. They’re still there after a break with Cornette quoting Psycho. Diesel is gone so Cornette talks to Shawn, who says Sid can knock Diesel out of his shoes.

A preview of Tatanka vs. Lex Luger on next week’s 100^th episode wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C. Much better show here with a featured match that people might actually be interested in. I mean, no one was actually interested in Diesel but at least they were trying this time around. Diesel just isn’t working in the mainstream spot and while his in-ring stuff is acceptable, the lack of character or any real edge is killing him. Now why did everyone other than Vince get that?

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 25, 1994
Location: Memorial Auditorium, Utica, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage

It has to be better than last week, almost by definition. That being said, the big draw for the week is Nikolai Volkoff as the guest on the King’s Court. I’m really scared of what this show might do to my psyche and I survived the entirety of Nitro and Thunder. At least this one is just an hour long so let’s get to it.

Vince immediately plugs Volkoff’s appearance and we’re already in the downward spiral.

Opening sequence.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Non-title but if Jarrett wins, he’s going to be on a country music talk show. Vince makes sure to get in Hee Haw jokes but I’m more interested in Ramon’s powder blue boots. Jeff takes him down and swats at Razor’s head to start but is quickly tossed outside with the fall away slam. Razor follows him outside and gets sent into the steps as we see Volkoff sitting in the crowd (not mentioned by commentary).

Jeff gets two off an elbow to the jaw and there’s the middle rope fist drop for the same. We hit the chinlock as the announcers switch over to boxing. Back from a break with Razor’s sunset flip getting two and Savage needing a shower. It’s off to a sleeper for the required two arm drops. Savage: “I HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE!”

Razor’s belly to back suplex gets two but gets sent outside….and here’s Shawn Michaels. Shawn doesn’t do anything but Razor hits him in the jaw anyway. Well to be fair he’s a bad guy. Razor makes his latest comeback and clotheslines Jeff to the floor but stops to pull Shawn inside. The beating is on, only to have Diesel come in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. The match wasn’t even all that great but it’s already made the show better than anything else they had going on in recent weeks. Jarrett certainly isn’t the most interesting wrestler in the world but at least he’s capable of having a good match if you give him the right opponent. He and Razor always had good chemistry too so the match was certainly watchable.

Diesel destroys Razor post match, including hitting the Jackknife and standing on his chest. Shawn does the same and drops the title on Ramon. Diesel would win the title on Sunday’s TV show.

Shawn says Diesel is the real champion. Diesel says the opportunity was there and he seized it.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Tony DeVito

The announcers talk about Jimmy Carter’s daughter and Prince Charles’ dog. Vince: “I don’t get the connection.” DeVito hits a shoulder but gets dropkicked down. Out of current news to discuss/mock, Vince gets a call from Jack Tunny, who officially makes the Quebecers vs. the Headshrinkers for the titles next week. Bigelow finishes with the enziguri.

The Quebecers will face the Headshrinkers but they’re NOT happy with it.

The Mayor of Stamford, Connecticut thanks the company for a fundraiser they held recently. Did we mention Vince was dealing with the steroids trial around this time? No connection of course but just though I’d throw that out there.

Heavenly Bodies vs. John Paul/Jason Headings

Paul gets thrown around to start so it’s off to the long haired Headings, who takes a quick Veg-O-Matic for two. We hear about Mr. Perfect no showing a match in Cincinnati and an indefinite suspension as a result. Translation: he’s left the company, as would the Steiners and the Quebecers around this time. Del Ray takes Headings down and gyrates his (own) hips, which Vince calls disgusting. Prichard suplexes Del Ray into a moonsault for two as Vince talks about National Secretaries Week. Del Ray’s moonsault press finishes Jason.

Rating: D+. I couldn’t stand the Bodies back in the day but they’ve grown on me in repeat viewings. They were a solid, slower paced team and that’s where Cornette was perfect as the manager. Good little squash here with Del Ray’s high flying helping move things along quite well.

It’s King’s Court time with Lawler bringing up Volkoff, who is $8 shy of having thirty cents. Lawler mocks the hideous brown suit as you can see a lot of empty seats in the upper deck. That’s a bad sign when the building only holds about 5,700. Lawler makes jokes about Volkoff’s poverty but Volkoff says he’ll tell the truth. He’s just come from Europe but now he’s home in the United States. He’s made some bad investments and has lost a lot of money, though he’ll still fight Lawler anytime. Volkoff is looking for a job and is willing to work for any honest man. We’re actually to the point where a former evil foreign goon is the sympathetic face? There was NO ONE else available for this story?

1-2-3 Kid vs. Duane Gill

The announcers AGAIN talk about the Wrestlemania Revenge house show tour as Kid gets hammered in the corner to start. Kid gets in a top rope clothesline and a spinning kick to the jaw to take over. Gill takes him back down and grabs a chinlock as Vince gets on Savage for failing at reading an ad for a movie. Kid fights up and finishes with the spinwheel kick.

Rating: D+. At least Kid’s offense is entertaining enough to make these things a bit more bearable. Gill was one of those career jobbers until he somehow wound up winning the Light Heavyweight Title because you never can guess how things are going to go in wrestling. Nothing to see here of course but I’m still trying to get my head around Volkoff being a face, even for a short bit of time.

A guy at a deli saw Undertaker buying cheese. Apparently he likes pickles too. And they wonder why they were in peril at this point.

Owen Hart vs. Rich Myers

Owen trips him down to start and slaps him in the face as you can see at least four empty seats in the first five rows. A gutwrench suplex plants Myers as we hit the WE WANT BRET chants. The beating continues until Owen avoids a dropkick and grabs the Sharpshooter for the submission.

Rating: D. Another boring squash but that’s just what you have to expect at this point. Owen was on a roll at this point though and the WE WANT BRET chants at least show that they have a hot angle. Unfortunately it would be FOUR MONTHS before their title match with almost nothing of note in between from the two of them.

Johnny Polo and Lou Albano argue some more. Johnny: “WHAT ARE YOU A CAPTAIN OF ANYWAY???” Savage has had enough and grabs Polo so Albano can nail him to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The opener helps this a lot but it’s very clear that the extra pay per views in 1995 helped a lot. There’s just NOTHING between Wrestlemania and King of the Ring and even that was a pretty lame show. Owen vs. Bret will be good but we’ll all be dead of old age by the time we get there. Bad show, but not as bad as the rest of the terrible month.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 27, 1994
Location: Westchester County Civic Center, White Plains, New York
Attendance: 3,400
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Randy Savage

It’s time to start the long term build towards Summerslam and barring a major surprise, that’s going to be Bret vs. Owen Hart for the title. With Owen winning the King of the Ring so recently, there’s no reason to go with anything else. Other than that, Ted DiBiase is trying to lure Lex Luger to the dark side. Oh please. Like Luger would EVER turn all of a sudden with little warning. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s King’s Court with Jerry Lawler attacking Duke Droese with a trashcan, which they actually don’t show here in a nice bit of living up to their word of not showing it again.

Droese is ready to follow up on whatever the WWF decides to do to him.

Lawler goes on a rant about how it was Droese’s fault until a producer reminds him why he’s here. He gives a rather forced apology but asks for a fine instead. He finally apologizes while looking like a four year old being told to take medicine. Apparently this was more legit than you would think as the trashcan spot was improvised and USA was REALLY mad. How in the world did they survive the Attitude Era?

Mabel vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Bigelow forearms him down and actually gets a snapmare to put the bigger man down. Mabel gets up and stares at him before kicking Bigelow in the face. The legdrop to the back of the head draws Luna to the apron but Bigelow sends Mabel into the ropes, sending Luna crashing to the floor. A big crash knocks Mabel down again so Bigelow goes out to chase Oscar off, setting up the big brawl on the floor. Mabel drops Bigelow and beats the count for the win.

Rating: F+. That was supposed to be the big draw of the show. The very short length helped but my goodness is this really the best thing they could do? Mabel would somehow get much worse as he was pushed even harder and harder in the upcoming months, which somehow led to him headlining Summerslam about thirteen months later.

Bigelow and Luna argue until DiBiase comes out to recruit Bam Bam.

We go to two weeks ago where DiBiase introduced the “original” Undertaker, meaning Brian Lee (who was notably shorter) in Undertaker gear. One very nice touch here is the voice is the real Undertaker in a pre-recorded bit to add some realism. You know, to the zombie wrestler.

Buy the King of the Ring encore!

IRS vs. Rich Myers

On the way to the ring, IRS says it’s not his job to pay for your healthcare so pay your taxes. An early abdominal stretch sets up a suplex and we hit the chinlock. I’m going to assume you know who did the moves to whom. IRS’ STF (the Penalty) finishes Myers in a hurry.

It’s King’s Court time with Lawler talking about the Hart Foundation and bringing out Jim Neidhart as the founder of the team. Lawler thinks Bret should have been thanking Neidhart over and over for all the times he saved Bret’s career. Neidhart says Bret has called him for advice many times over the years but after all those times he won the “Belt. Championship. Title.”, Neidhart never got a thing. Then it was time to face Diesel and Bret called him again. Gorilla: “THAT’S A LIE!” Neidhart did what he did so Owen could become the champion as he deserves to be.

This brings out Owen in full on King attire, which looks so goofy in a 90s kind of way. Owen loves all this attention and you can feel the inferiority complex here for a good bit of storytelling. Neidhart is the only family member he can trust (Monsoon and Savage talk over the promo AGAIN, confirming that the two of them are brothers-in-law.) and he’s going to help Owen win the WWF World Title. Owen has done everything he’s said he’d do and now he wants Bret’s title. Savage and Monsoon really dragged this down as they probably talked over Owen and Neidhart five or six times.

Headshrinkers vs. Executioners

Non-title. Fatu and Agony (as it says on his tights) start things off with the Executioner getting powerslammed early on. A double noggin knocker makes things worse for the masked men (Savage: “I used to use a single noggin knocker!”) and the squash is strong with this one.

Fatu gets two more off a clothesline as Gorilla talks about his network of backstage sources: the Gorilla Vine. A middle rope DDT (picture someone going to the middle rope for right hands but Fatu DDTed him backwards instead) gets no cover as we hear about DiBiase doing something backstage. The double faceplant sets up the Superfly Splash to end Agony.

Rating: D. This is a good example of how the commentators can use a squash to help build a match. Savage was hyping up the Headshrinkers but it turned into a discussion of how good the Heavenly Bodies were. You have two talented teams and the announcers weren’t sure who would win. Let’s have a match and find out. That’s how you build a match but for some reason that ended somewhere along the line.

DiBiase is talking to Bigelow but gets annoyed upon seeing the camera.

Kwang vs. Mike Moraldo

A big boot drops the jobber but he ducks the mist. The squashing continues as Savage reads the ad for the upcoming USA movie. No that doesn’t mean anything but it’s not like I have anything else to talk about in a match like this. The spinwheel kick in the corner (which Kwang would do almost every time as Savio Vega) and another kick are good for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before another spinwheel kick finishes Moraldo.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here of course, save for the good looking spinning kicks. Well that and the snickering at all the usage of the word Kwang, which sounds like another word for….I think you get the joke. Kwang was your run of the mill martial arts guy and that’s the kind of gimmick you can always have in wrestling for a low level gimmick.

New Generation ad.

Lex Luger vs. Mike Bell

Luger shoves him around and misses a shoulder that Mike sells anyway. DiBiase comes out to watch as Luger gets two off a rollup and a clothesline (barely made contact) before finishing with the Rack.

ORDER THE REPLAY!

DiBiase has signed Bigelow and says Luger is next to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Really bad way to end the month with a horrible show. This was a bunch of squashes and almost no angles, save for the obvious Owen challenge to Bret. DiBiase buying people up for his stable has potential but it’s not like the Million Dollar Team is all that interesting in the first place. Bad show, but what else are you expecting from June 1994?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 6, 1994
Location: Struthers Fieldhouse, Youngstown, Ohio
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage

We’re coming up on King of the Ring 1994 and…..I need a minute just thinking about something like that. This is a really bad time for the company as Vince is dealing with the steroids trial so don’t expect a lot of good stuff on here. Well, save for the debut of one of the biggest stars of all time. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Tatanka vs. Crush

Lumberjack match in a rematch from last week’s draw. IRS and Razor Ramon getting in a fight before all of the lumberjacks are even at ringside. A bunch of lumberjacks get in the ring and tease a brawl as Crush gets in a few shots on Tatanka to start. Things settle down with Tatanka coming back with chops abut a toss sends him outside for a lumberjack beating.

Back in and we hit the chinlock but Crush misses a kneedrop. That means another far too early comeback before we take a break. Back with Tatanka working on an armbar, only to get pulled down into a weak cross armbreaker. McMahon mentions Crush possibly winning the Tag Team Titles as well as the King of the Ring in the same night if he wins here but shuts up when Tatanka chops him down.

It’s back to the armbreaker as this is already going WAY longer than it needed to. Savage: “My temperature is at about 114!” Vince: “That’s normal for you.” Savage: “Thank you.” Crush stays on the mat with a bodyscissors as the fans and lumberjacks are starting to get restless.

We take a second break (Why?) and come back with Crush getting tied up in the ropes but still managing an atomic drop. Crush grabs a front facelock for a good while before sending Tatanka outside, triggering the lumberjack brawl. Now it’s Crush being send outside for a beating of his own, including Lex Luger coming out to blast Crush with the forearm. Crush is done and Tatanka gets the very lame pin to advance at just shy of TWENTY FIVE MINUTES (counting commercials).

Rating: D-. You’ll often hear about how matches are too short today but this is a good reason why that’s not always the worst issue in the world. Just because you can give a match more time doesn’t mean it’s a good thing, especially if so much of the mat is just one guy putting on a hold for two to three minutes at a time. Holds can be used to advance a match but that’s not what was happening here.

King of the Ring Control Center with the full bracket being revealed:

IRS

Mabel

Razor Ramon

Bam Bam Bigelow

Jeff Jarrett

1-2-3 Kid

Owen Hart

Tatanka

We look back at Diesel attacking Bret Hart in the King’s Court with a little help from Shawn Michaels last week.

Bret thinks that proves Diesel isn’t jam up enough to fight on his own. A member of Bret’s family will be in his corner for the title match.

Roddy Piper sends in a video offering Bret his help. He’s ready to take care of Jerry Lawler too and talks about growing up in a rough neighborhood to prove it.

CALL THE HOTLINE! For some reason this is introduced with insults to the Flintstones movie. Rather odd and rather dumb as I always liked that movie.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. John Paul

Bigelow misses an early splash but shrugs off an armbar. That means it’s time to make fun of the Flintstones for some reason with Vince calling Luna the Wilma Flintstone of the WWF. Paul gets in a few kicks and a sunset flip for two. Bigelow shrugs it off and hits a spinning splash for the quick pin.

House show ads.

Earlier today, some wrestlers beat some members of the Marines/Navy/Coast Guard in a tug of war to celebrate D-Day.

Here’s the King’s Court with Lawler running his mouth about Piper. His guest is from Scotland and wears a Hot Rod t-shirt but just happens to be about seventeen years old and weighs 130lbs with a brick in each pocket. The guy does a good impression but it gets old in a hurry as you can get the joke after about two seconds. After a few gay jokes, the guy gets on his hands and knees to kiss Lawler’s feet in an attempt to get out of the match. He crawls out of the ring to finally end this.

Razor Ramon vs. Keith Davis

Razor throws him around to start and catches a crossbody in the fall away slam. We hit the abdominal stretch for a good while until an elbow to the jaw makes things even worse. The belly to back superplex sets up the Razor’s Edge to complete the squash.

Rating: D. Total squash with Razor mauling the jobber in the exact fashion you would expect. Now that being said, this would have been a very different match later on as Davis would actually wind up to being a fairly decent worker in his own right. You might have heard of him under his real name: Jeff Hardy.

Paul Bearer is looking for Undertaker.

Ted DiBiase promises to produce the Undertaker on Superstars.

Overall Rating: D. That opener just killed everything and even seeing a seventeen year old Jeff Hardy out there selling as well as someone his age could do couldn’t save it. The show wasn’t any good and it set up a bad pay per view but with Vince trying to stay out of prison, you really can’t expect anything else.

There’s no Raw next week but there was a special called Countdown to the Crowning, because of course there is.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 3, 1994
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Johnny Polo

It’s a new year as we’re getting close to the start of the second year of Raw. We’re also getting close to the 1994 Royal Rumble and that means we’re still in the fallout of the Lex Express. It also means we’re seeing the upgraded Bret Hart rising to the top of the company and that’s a very, very good thing. Let’s get to it.

We open with Undertaker building a casket which Paul Bearer says is for Yokozuna. Undertaker’s New Year’s Resolution is to make Yokozuna rest in peace.

On Wrestling Challenge, Jim Cornette reveals that the title match he accidentally signed Yokozuna up for a casket match. As expected, Yokozuna is scared of caskets. Of note here: Stan Lane, as in Cornette’s old client in the Midnight Express, is the interviewer here.

Opening sequence.

Yokozuna vs. Dan Dubiel

For some reason Dubiel goes right after him and has exactly the same luck you would expect. A hard Rock Bottom sets up an even harder belly to belly with Polo absolutely loving this on commentary. The usual sets up the Banzai Drop with Yokozuna landing much higher than usual and nearly hitting the guy’s neck for the pin. That could have been very, very bad but Dubiel seems to be fine.

Rating: D+. The first thing here is how much better Polo is on commentary. He’s just so laid back and relaxed about everything and that’s all exactly what he should have been. It made for a very amusing exchange as he kept referring to Vince as Vic. Oh and the Banzai Drop looked TERRIFYING here, which is fine as long as the jobber was ok.

We look back at the Quebecers switching places and still losing to Lex Luger anyway. Polo took a steel forearm of his own.

Earlier today, Luger sat down with Vince for a chat. Luger is on fire at the moment but none of that matters if he doesn’t get to compete in the Royal Rumble. We’ll find out whether or not he gets to be involved in a week but the people have already given him a vote of confidence via a poll. Until the decision is made though, Jim Cornette and the rest of Yokozuna’s people can keep being worried about having to face even more competition. Lex gives Tunney and the people one last plea and we’re done in a hurry.

Sparky Plugg drives cars.

Smoking Gunns vs. Bastion Booger/Bam Bam Bigelow

My that’s a lot of B’s, plus Luna Vachon in the monsters’ corner. Bigelow throws Billy around to start but a dropkick puts him on the floor. It’s off to Bart for some arm cranking before Booger comes in, meaning Polo wants to know what’s up with the hump on his neck. The cowboys are sent outside and it’s time for an early break. Back with Booger getting shouldered down but he low bridges Bart….through the ropes because Bart didn’t get over the top for some reason.

Polo talks about Booger wanting to lose three pounds by the end of the year but there are several excuses, such as a dog running his running shoes or the TV at the gym being on the wrong channel. It’s off to Bigelow, who Polo says has made Barney and Betty proud since he broke up with Pebbles.

A legdrop gets two on Bart but he avoids a charge and makes the hot tag to Billy. Polo: “NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” Luna is busy rubbing Booger’s hump (don’t ask) and a double backdrop gets two on Bigelow. Unfortunately for Bam Bam, Bastion kisses Luna and gets slapped for his efforts. Bigelow finally sees what’s going on and gets in a brawl with his partner for the countout.

Rating: F. Go back and read through some of what I wrote near the end of that match and try to figure out why I call this match a failure. There was nothing to this one and it was a great example of how horrible wrestling can get at times. I’m sure Vince found this hilarious in some twisted way and I’m going to leave it inside his head.

Todd Pettengill is in the Royal Rumble Control Center to explain the concept of the namesake match and list off twenty seven confirmed named. The other three will be announced over the weekend. The rest of the card gets some attention as well.

Next week: Raw’s First Anniversary!

Jeff Jarrett vs. John Chrystal

Jeff actually gets rolled up for two to start so he runs John over without much effort. A sunset flip gives John two more and it’s time for some right hands while the announcers talk about the pay per view. Chrystal gets in a weird powerslam for two more but a running DDT (not a great one either) gives Jeff the pin.

Rating: D. Who would have expected this to be so competitive? Again though Jarrett was hardly anything worth seeing but that’s the case with almost anything he did more often than not. The long blond hair didn’t help him much either but at least John seemed more than game here.

Last week, Polo beat Marty Jannetty with a little help from the Quebecers. Therefore, Jannetty and the 1-2-3 Kid come out to ask for a Tag Team Title shot against the Quebecers next week.

Razor Ramon doesn’t want us to smoke.

Shawn Michaels vs. Brian Walsh

Since this is going to be a squash, let’s take a phone call from Quebecer Jacques. Shawn takes him to the mat without breaking a sweat and it’s time to work on an armbar. Walsh bridges up from the mat and Shawn can’t break him down. A few rollups are good for two each on Shawn and Polo is freaking out. With nothing else working, Shawn throws him to the floor so Diesel can…..put him back inside. A bodyguard who does his job and nothing more? I don’t see much of a future for him in this business. We hit a chinlock on Brian so Johnny can talk about his ancestor Horatio Abercrombie Polo settling the island of Palm Beach. Walsh makes a comeback but misses a dropkick, setting up the superkick. A piledriver gives Shawn the pin.

Rating: D. This was similar to the previous match, making it a pair of slightly more competitive than usual squash matches. Polo continued to be the most entertaining part of the match but I’m not sure he’s enough to overcome an interview with Jacques. How could someone decide that was the best possible option here?

We run down the Anniversary Show card to end the show.

Overall Rating: F+. Pretty standard show for the time and that’s not too surprising. As mentioned multiple times, Polo was the best part of the show and that’s a good thing, assuming he actually sticks around. Unfortunately I have a feeling we’ll be seeing a replacement sooner rather than later because it could mean some entertaining TV. It’s a bunch of bad wrestling around Polo though and that’s not going to work.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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