Survivor Series 1995
Date: November 19, 1995
Location: USAir Arena, Landover, Maryland
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect, Jim Ross

It’s time for the annual redo and I’m curious to see what we’re going to see here. We have some big stuff on the show, including Diesel defending the WWF Title against Bret Hart in a match whose result should be pretty clear after how badly Diesel’s last big title defense went. Let’s get to it.

Mr. Perfect gets a big intro to do commentary. That’s quite the different way to start things off, though it’s how Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura came out to open the first Survivor Series so points for likely unintentional tradition.

The opening video looks at Diesel vs. Bret Hart, which is all that matters on this show.

Underdogs vs. BodyDonnas

Underdogs: Barry Horowitz, Bob Holly, Hakushi, Marty Jannetty

BodyDonnas: 1-2-3 Kid, Skip, Tom Prichard, Rad Radford

And they wonder why things were falling apart at the moment. Sunny handles the BodyDonnas’ intros, though Radford is only a BodyDonna in training and Prichard isn’t Zip yet. The Kid is kind of on loan from Ted DiBiase, who paid off Jean Pierre LaFitte for the spot, and is here as well. Cue Razor Ramon to go after the Kid, who recently turned on him so things aren’t going so well for them. Marty and Prichard start things off with Marty being taken into and having to fight out of the corner in a hurry.

Tom accidentally knees Kid off the apron and Sunny needs to start the rally clap. Holly comes in with a hurricanrana on Radford (Perfect: “Now that was a good looking wrestling move.”) and it’s an armdrag into an armbar. It’s off to Hakushi (for a very positive reaction) but Radford plants him with a spinebuster. Kid comes in to a far more negative reaction and hits the quick legdrop before handing it off to Skip. The belly to back superplex is countered into a crossbody though and it’s off to Holly vs. Prichard. Granted the fans want Barry, but they seem happy to see Prichard missing a moonsault.

That’s enough for Holly to go up with the high crossbody to get rid of Prichard at 5:40. Skip is right back in with a rollup to pin Holly at 5:47 though and we’re tied up again. Hakushi comes back in and kicks away at Skip but the Vader Bomb hits knees. Skip’s super hurricanrana connects but he falls down as well, meaning it’s Kid coming in to kick away. You don’t do that with Hakushi though, as he fires off the strikes and hits a running headbutt for two (JR: “He almost knocked the price tag off the Kid!” Good line.).

The springboard splash misses though and we go split screen to watch an annoyed Ramon and company. It’s going to be made even worse when the Kid kicks Hakushi in the back of the head so Radford can get the pin (with tights) at 8:32. Barry comes in and gets beaten down because he’s Barry Horowitz and that’s all you should have expected. Some right hands stagger Kid but he hands it off to Radford for a gutwrench suplex.

For some reason Skip tells Radford not to pin him, which is only going to go badly. I mean not as badly as being named Skip but how much lower can you go? Radford stops for some pushups and of course Barry grabs a three quarter nelson (as so many people grab) for the pin at 11:50. That gives us the, ahem, epic Barry vs. Skip showdown (yes I do feel stupid writing that) but the Kid gets a blind tag and knees Barry down.

The running legdrop finishes Barry at 12:48 (yes off a legdrop, because Barry Horowitz), leaving us with Skip/Kid vs. Marry. That’s a main event in most flea markets in the country, especially if the person putting the show together wants to get creative. Or if Marty’s partner got lost and started talking to a nice moose. Skip misses a charge into the corner but is fine enough to elbow Jannetty down. They go up top and Marty goes huge with a super powerbomb (dang) for the pin at 15:22.

The Kid is right in there to kick Marty in the head over and over, but a Swanton misses to put them both down. Marty is back up with a dropkick for two….and here’s Sid, also part of DiBiase’s Corporation. The fans chant for Razor as the Rocker Dropper gives Marty two. That’s enough for DiBiase to get on the apron and offer a distraction though, meaning Sid can snap Marty’s throat across the top to give Kid the pin at 19:08.

Rating: D+. If this is their big opener, they’re in a lot more trouble than I thought. This was nothing to see whatsoever, with the wrestling being fine at best and the story being rather pathetic. We’re supposed to get excited about a team whose most successful member is Marty Jannetty with Barry Horowitz as captain? To start a pay per view? I know 1995 was bad but come on now. Not a good start here and I’m almost scared to see the rest.

Post match Sid and Kid celebrate in a somewhat funny bit.

Razor Ramon breaks a lot of stuff over Kid and company winning.

Camp Cornette and Dean Douglas aren’t happy with Razor being annoyed before tonight’s Wild Card match (a cool concept where the teams were fairly random, so of course they never did it again). Owen says Razor needs to get his priorities straight and Dean says they’re going to be fighting without a team member.

Team Aja Kong vs. Team Alundra Blayze

Aja Kong, Bertha Faye, Lioness Asuka, Tomoko Watanabe

Alundra Blayze, Chaparita Asari, Kyoko Inoue, Sakie Hasagawa

Yeah I think this might be better, as the women are making a short term visit from Japan to try and make the women’s division mean something. I mean it didn’t work, but it was worth a try. Kind of like Vince calling a match like this, but thankfully JR is in there to help carry things. Harvey Wippleman is here with Kong’s team and Blayze is Women’s Champion.

Asuka goes straight to a giant swing on Asari to start but it’s quickly off to Blayze, whose who into the ropes….doesn’t quite work as Asuka falls down. Odd visual but a slam works a bit better, seeing up the Sky Twister Press from Asari. The German suplex gets rid of Asuka at 1:43 so they’re starting fast.

Watanabe comes in to stomp away but Blayze sends her outside for the big dive from the top. Back in and Hasagawa rolls some butterfly suplexes but Watanabe is back with a top rope seated senton. Kong comes in and slugs Watanabe down but she snaps off a German suplex for a breather. A quick Saito suplex gets rid of Hasagawa at 3:59. Asari comes in and gets slammed, setting up a middle rope splash for the pin at 4:25.

That sets up the Blayze vs. Kong showdown but it’s off to Inoue after about five seconds of slug out. Kong quickly counters a sunset flip by sitting on Inoue’s chest for the pin at 5:04 and Blayze is on her own. Faye, one of the more disgusting ideas that WWE ever had (see, she’s fat and stupid but she’s strong so it works), comes in to stomp away but Blayze piledrives Watanabe (originally a powerbomb but Blayze couldn’t get her up) for the pin at 6:31.

Bertha comes in again to kick at Blayze’s leg but some heel miscommunication lets Blayze hit a German suplex to pin Faye at 7:12. Faye doesn’t seem to mind as she leaves Kong to headbutt Blayze. A superplex gives Kong two and some hip thrusts in the corner have Blayze in more trouble. She’s right back up to kick Kong down and a standing moonsault gets two. Blayze catches her on top but gets shoved down, setting up the spinning backfist for the pin at 10:03. Now play that Orient Express music!

Rating: C+. The action was WAY better but there’s only so much you can do with seven falls in ten minutes. The women’s division basically didn’t exist outside of Blayze, Faye and whomever else they brought in from Japan at this point, which is probably why the division was dead in a few months. This was a very fun change of pace, but there’s only so much you can do with this many time restraints.

The Bill Clinton impersonator is here and I’m still not sure why…until he thinks Bam Bam Bigelow is from the Flintstones. Yeah this is Vince show.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Goldust

Goldust has only been around for about a month and promises a great performance that will make you remember his name. After a quick stall to start, Goldust hammers away a bit and then bails to the floor to mess with Bigelow’s bald head. Back in and Bigelow hammers away to send Goldust outside again.

The fight is on with Goldust hitting the post but he’s fine enough to take it back inside and clothesline Bigelow to the floor. The front facelock goes on for a bit before Goldust throws him outside (again). Back in and Bigelow gets in a belly to back suplex but Goldust slaps on a reverse chinlock. That’s broken up with an electric chair but Goldust is right back up with the bulldog for the pin at 8:32.

Rating: D. It would take Goldust some time to really get the hang of things and we weren’t to that point yet. Goldust was more of a movie guy here instead of the weird guy he would become, which was what worked when he meshed it together with the movie stuff. The problem is his wrestling consisted of throwing Bigelow to the floor and then hitting a bulldog, which isn’t quite thrilling. This was it for Bigelow as well and he was eventually off to ECW.

Bob Backlund visits the Clinton impersonator and wants to know why he’s here.

We recap the Royals (Mabel) vs. the Dark Side (Undertaker). Mabel and Yokozuna crushed Undertaker’s face and now it’s time for revenge.

Royals vs. Dark Side

Royals: King Mabel, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Jerry Lawler, Isaac Yankem

Dark Side: Undertaker, Savio Vega, Henry Godwinn, Fatu

So it’s the Royals vs. the Bone Street Krew. This is Undertaker’s return after a month away due to the crushed face and he has a big skull mask on as a result. Fatu and Helmsley start things off with Fatu hitting a backdrop into a clothesline. A very early Pedigree attempt is cut off with a stare from Undertaker so it’s off to Godwinn to scare Lawler away. Yankem comes in to stomp Godwinn down but Henry is right back up with a clothesline. The jumping elbow gets two but Yankem hits a belly to back suplex.

Helmsley comes in for some uppercuts as we hear about how is still undefeated (dang that makes me feel so old). Godwinn gets in a rather delayed gorilla press and throws Helmsley into the corner for the tag off to Lawler. Vega comes in as well and Lawler starts bouncing off of him like a pinball. Lawler manages a kick to the face and celebrates so Vega knocks him down again. It’s off to Fatu to work on Lawler’s arm but a cheap shot from the apron cuts him off. Yankem gets in the jumping elbow but Mabel misses the charge in the corner, allowing Vega to hammer away.

A big Boss Man Slam cuts that off and Vega gets caught in the corner. Yankem comes back in and hits a dropkick (!), followed by a knee from Helmsley (, at best) for two. Vega manages a Rock Bottom to Helmsley but Lawler, fearing a bad case of death, cuts off the hot tag to Undertaker. The piledriver plants Vega….but he pops up and brings in Undertaker to start the destruction.

Lawler’s partners all run away and it’s the Tombstone for the first elimination at 12:20. Yankem tries to deck Undertaker but gets caught with the jumping clothesline, setting up the Tombstone for the pin at 12:43 (and they were never seen together again). Now it’s Helmsley coming in and being scared off by a single glare.

Helmsley tries to leave but gets sent back to the apron, where Undertaker chokeslams him back inside (good one too) for the pin at 13:36. That leaves Mabel on his own and he hits the belly to belly suplex. The legdrop, which crushed Undertaker’s face, connects….and Undertaker sits up. That’s enough for Mabel, who runs off for the countout at 14:25.

Rating: B-. It’s rare to have the first twelve minutes of a match be absolutely nothing but the last two and a half minutes completely save the match. Undertaker was a wrecking ball here and there was no one touching him. I’ve been watching wrestling for over thirty years and a ticked off Undertaker is the scariest thing that I have ever seen. I loved the Undertaker stuff here and I was getting excited watching it all over again. It’s a great ending and Undertaker can destroy Mabel once and for all before finally finding a great opponent. Like Mankind for instance.

Post match Undertaker chokeslams Mo to blow off some steam.

Bret Hart isn’t worried about British Bulldog next month because he’s ready to face Diesel and knows what’s coming. He feels like Wayne Gretzky, who has to find out if he still has this every year. Tonight, Diesel is finding out that he can’t hang with him.

Diesel is ready to face Bret because he doesn’t need to go long with Bret. He doesn’t get paid by the hour and it’s all power tonight.

Jim Cornette, now with the other team, says he’s been here all day and Ted DiBiase just wants to win. Shawn Michaels comes in to say he’s got this and Ahmed Johnson doesn’t say anything, thank goodness.

Team Shawn Michaels vs. Team Yokozuna

Shawn Michaels, Ahmed Johnson, British Bulldog, Sycho Sid

Yokozuna, Owen Hart, Razor Ramon, Dean Douglas

Ted DiBiase is with Sid and company while Jim Cornette is trying to figure out who he is supposed to help here. Shawn gets a great pop and it’s no shock that he was on the way to the main event. Commentary uses this chance to make jokes about the government balancing a budget because of course they do. Owen and Shawn start things up with Shawn sending him to the floor and giving Cornette a spank with the tennis racket. Back in and Owens hits a belly to belly to cut Shawn off and it’s Dean coming in to slug away.

Shawn takes him down anyway and hits the top rope ax handle, only to get punched in the face again. Dean’s Vader Bomb misses though and Shawn hits a moonsault press for two. Johnson comes in and gets triple teamed with Dean grabbing a chinlock. Back up and a powerslam plants Dean for no cover, even Ahmed poses over Dean after putting him down. Shawn comes back in and the threat of the superkick sends Dean bailing to the floor. Razor isn’t having that and punches Dean into the rollup for the pin at 7:28.

Owen charges in but gets drop toeholded so Shawn can tag Bulldog in. A spinwheel kick cuts Bulldog down and it’s quickly off to Shawn vs. Razor, which is treated as a big showdown. Eh fair enough after the two matches they had. Shawn ducks a clothesline and hits an elbow in the face but Razor hits a very quick Razor’s Edge. Johnson makes the save so Razor hits a running knee lift to put Shawn down. For some reason it puts Razor down as well so Shawn brings in Sid to hammer away in the corner.

Yokozuna comes in for a cheap shot but Sid doesn’t mind and stays on Razor’s back. A double clothesline puts both of them down so Sid goes up top, only to get slammed off the top. Razor gets in a few right hands (I’ve always liked those) but Sid hits a quick chokeslam. Shawn comes in to superkick Razor but hits Sid by mistake. He doesn’t seem to mind so Bulldog….legdrops Sid by mistake, allowing Razor to get the pin at 16:17.

Bulldog comes in to beat on Razor as Sid powerbombs Shawn, allowing Razor to get two. The fresh Owen gets the tag and stays on Shawn’s back before Yokozuna hammers Shawn down in the corner (Perfect: “Welcome back to Syracuse Shawn!”). We hit the nerve hold for a bit before Yoko and Owen hit a double headbutt. Owen misses the diving headbutt though and now the hot tag can bring in Ahmed to clean house. The Pearl River Plunge gets rid of Owen at 21:47.

Razor comes in to slug away at Ahmed (a match between those two could have been interesting) but Ahmed doesn’t know how to STAND IN ONE PLACE for the middle rope bulldog, meaning Razor has to settle for a regular bulldog instead. Likely frustrated by Ahmed being kind of awful, Razor punches Bulldog and Shawn but walks into a spinebuster. Cornette offers a distraction though and it’s the Razor’s Edge to Ahmed. Bulldog breaks that up but here are Sid and the Kid as Razor comes back with the fall away slam.

The distraction lets Bulldog hit the running powerslam for the pin, leaving us with Shawn/Bulldog/Johnson vs. Yokozuna. It’s Shawn getting pounded into the corner to start, which certainly pleases Cornette. Yokozuna drops the big leg but the Banzai Drop only hits mat. The falling tag brings in Ahmed for a slam (less of a slam than Lex Luger’s) but Bulldog makes the save. Shawn and Ahmed get rid of him and it’s the superkick into a screaming splash from Ahmed for the pin at 27:24.

Rating: C. I really liked the idea here and it’s something that could have been done again for years, but for some reason it was only a one off. That being said, the match certainly had some problems, including Johnson looking like he had no idea what he was doing half the time. The match also just kind of came and went without much of a flow. Cool concept, but only a decent execution.

Clinton hits on Sunny and easy jokes are made.

We recap Bret Hart vs. Diesel for the WWF Title. They have had two great matches before as Bret knows how to take the giant down but Diesel is good at the power stuff so it is time for the big showdown. Bret says one of their matches went to a no contest so it’s his title, which Diesel doesn’t see to agree with.

Commentary plays up the technical vs. power here and it makes a lot of sense.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Diesel

Bret is challenging and anything goes. They both unhook turnbuckle pads to start and it’s Diesel hammering away in the corner. That’s enough to send Bret outside so Diesel drops him face first onto the barricade. Bret gets choked against said barricade but he kicks at the leg back inside. Diesel cuts that off with a right hand to the head and then whips him hard into the steps. A chair to the back drops Bret again as it’s one sided in the first few minutes.

The Jackknife is blocked and Bret starts biting to change things up. A choke on Diesel’s back has some more success and now it’s time to kick at the leg. There’s an elbow to the knee and Bret cranks on it for a bonus. Some cannonballs down onto the leg make it even worse and we hit the Figure Four. Diesel grabs a rope and Vince says it has to be broken, but Perfect accurately points out that it doesn’t because there’s no DQ threat to make Bret do anything.

Bret lets it go anyway but it’s way too early for the Sharpshooter. Diesel kicks him away and into the buckle so it’s a bunch of forearms to put Bret down. Unfortunately it puts him down in the corner, where he slides to the floor so Diesel can have his leg wrapped around the post. Bret gets creative by whipping out a cable and tying Diesel’s leg to the post, earning himself a boot to the face. It doesn’t seem to matter much though as Bret gets in a middle rope shot to the face.

The chair is brought in and is promptly kicked into Bret’s face but Diesel is still tied to the post. Bret unloads on him with the chair, including some shots to the knee. Diesel slams him off the top though and unties himself, setting up a big whip into the corner. Vince: “Bret should give up!” Well then tell someone to ring the bell Vince. Diesel can’t hit the running crotch attack so he jumps down onto his back instead.

Snake Eyes drops Bret again but he’s back with right hands to the face. Bret’s middle rope bulldog gets two and Diesel heads to the floor, where he misses the slingshot dive. Diesel knocks him hard off the apron and through the announcers’ table (I believe debuting the spot), leaving Bret mostly dead. Back in and Bret collapses when Diesel tries the Jackknife…and then small packages him for the pin and the title at 24:02. Diesel: “MOTHERF*****!”

Post match Diesel snaps and powerbombs Bret before hitting a referee.

Rating: B+. These two had some great chemistry together and that was on display again here. Bret could brawl when he needed to and he mixed that in with taking apart the knee to have a great match. It also helps when you have him in there to walk Diesel through everything, which is what makes their matches work so well. Diesel could be brought up to another level and there was no one who could do that better than Bret. It was WAY past time to change the title though and thank goodness they did it here.

We get the highlight package….and then go back to commentary for a recap of the heel turn and the sign off. That’s different.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a really weird show as I would have thought only the main event bailed everything out but the rest of the show is mostly good, with only the opener and Goldust vs. Bigelow being pretty bad. The show just doesn’t feel that important and it comes off more as a show that was good in spite of itself, which is rarely a good thing. The main event is good and Undertaker cleaning house is great, but nothing else stands out here in the slightest.

Ratings Comparison

BodyDonnas vs. Underdogs

Original: A-

2012 Redo: B

2020 Redo: D+

Team Bertha Faye vs. Team Alundra Blayze

Original: D

2012 Redo: Redo: C+

2020 Redo: C+

Goldust vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Original: C

2012 Redo: F

2020 Redo: D

Dark Side vs. Royals

Original: B-

2012 Redo: D+

2020 Redo: B-

Team Shawn Michaels vs. Team Yokozuna

Original: C+

2012 Redo: C+

2020 Redo: C

Bret Hart vs. Diesel

Original: C+

2012 Redo: A

2020 Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

2012 Redo: B

2020 Redo: C+

Where in the world was I on that first match???

Here’s the original if you are interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2020/10/30/survivor-series-count-up-1995-original-bret-vs-the-giant/

And the 2012 redo:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/11/03/survivor-series-count-up-1995-wild-card/

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 28, 1993
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

It’s the last show of the month and the big story coming out of last week is Razor Ramon’s continued frustrations with the 1-2-3 Kid. Last week Ramon still couldn’t beat the Kid, who ran off with the $10,000 Ramon was putting up. Other than that, we’re coming up on the Yokozuna bodyslam challenge, which could be rather interesting. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Kamala

Michaels, with Diesel, is defending. They take their time to start with Michaels offering a handshake, which allows him to knock Kamala into the corner. Kamala doesn’t care for that and bites the finger before knocking Michaels out to the floor. Back in and Kamala charges into some raised knees in the corner as we take a break.

We come back with Kamala’s bearhug being broken up with a rake to the eyes, allowing Michaels to stomp away. Michaels avoids a charge in the corner and goes after the leg, though the Figure Four attempt is blocked. Kamala kicks him into the corner and starts chopping away, setting up the splash to the back. As usual, Kamala doesn’t quite have the pinning thing down so Diesel gets on the apron. That’s enough for Michaels to hit a superkick to the back of the head for the pin at 11;15.

Rating: C-. Michaels is an all time star but there is only so much you can do in this situation. Kamala’s good guy run was a stretch on its best day and then it was hard to make something like this work. Diesel being involved in the ending helped establish him, but the idea of Michaels needing help against Kamala is a stretch at best.

Post match Kamala goes after Michaels but Diesel makes the save.

Here are Yokozuna and company for a chat. Mr. Fuji is ready to humiliate various American athletes at the bodyslam challenge but Vince McMahon warns him that America is kind of amazing. Someone will step up and hit a home run, though Fuji doesn’t seem convinced. Yokozuna calls American athletes inferior, just like American products, so McMahon gets a USA chant going. It was weird to hear McMahon be so one sided in a story like this, but it shows how big of a villain Yokozuna really is.

Various athletes, including Tatanka, say they can slam Yokozuna.

Smoking Gunns vs. Iron Mike Sharpe/Barry Horowitz

Billy and Sharpe start things off with Billy clearing both jobbers out in a hurry. Bart comes in for a crisscross into a small package for two on Sharpe, followed by the armbar. It’s off to Horowitz, who avoids a crossbody to actually take over. A northern lights suplex doesn’t get Horowitz very far as Bart is back up for the tag off to Billy. The Sidewinder finishes Horowitz at 4:25.

Rating: C. The Gunns are only going to be able to go so far, but at the same time, the tag division isn’t exactly strong at this point so they only have to be so good. They have a time honored gimmick and the Sidewinder isn’t bad. Just let them win some matches and see where they can go from here.

We look at the 1-2-3 Kid stealing Razor Ramon’s money last week.

Here is Money Inc. for a chat, with Vince McMahon immediately mocking them for being the FORMER Tag Team Champions. IRS shrugs that off because they have a rematch clause in their contract against the Steiner Brothers. They move on to the idea of keeping your money, with Ted DiBiase mocking Razor Ramon for losing his cool, and as a result, his money, last week. Maybe Ramon can go to some stupid school like the University Of Michigan so Ramon can become the third Steiner Brother! And that’s how we’re setting up Ramon’s face turn.

Adam Bomb vs. PJ Walker

Johnny Polo is here with Bomb, who chokes Walker down to start. Naturally commentary ignores the match to talk about the bodyslam challenge, even as Bomb takes him to the floor for a hard clothesline. Back in and a top rope clothesline sets up the Atom Smasher for the pin at 2:14.

Crush vs. Bastion Booger

Heenan says Booger is related to Hilary Clinton as Crush can’t quite lift him up. Instead they go outside, with Crush not being able to ram him into the post. Booger can send him into the post though, and the steps as well. Back in and Booger grabs a bearhug but Crush powers out and manages a suplex. Some slams put Booger down, followed by a second and third for the pin at 5:37.

Rating: D+. Hey, did you know that Crush is strong and can lift large people? That was the entire point of the match and there wasn’t anything else going on, which made for a long five minutes. The match was as dull as you would expect and thankfully they did what they should have. It’s about as good as a Booger match is going to be, because, shockingly enough, he’s not very good.

Randy Savage is at Giants Stadium with a New York Giant who is ready to slam Yokozuna.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Commentary is hyped for the bodyslam challenge to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The idea of this show was focusing on the upcoming bodyslam challenge, with Crush being the big name who is going to come after him. That’s a fine enough idea, but then you realize that you’re getting ready for a bodyslam challenge rather than a match. It’s only going to change so much, and it makes for some rough time on the way there, which was on display this week.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 18, 1996
Location: Freeman Coliseum, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 9,364
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We are less than two weeks away from Wrestlemania and you can see most of the card from this far out. The matches are either already made or are close enough to being made, with a few more possibly being confirmed this week. Other than that, I’m sure we’ll get some more Bret vs. Shawn stuff, which should be fine as well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening preview.

Opening sequence.

Jake Roberts vs. British Bulldog

Jim Cornette is here with the Bulldog. Roberts works on the arm to start and Bulldog bails straight to the floor. The threat of a DDT has Bulldog backing off again but he starts hammering on the back to take over. Bulldog’s legdrop misses and the DDT connects but Cornette grabs Roberts’ leg. Roberts gets the snake and gives chase, earning the countout at 4:52.

Rating: D+. Nothing to this one, as it’s just part of the preview for the six man tag. The problem is that Roberts is little more than the DDT at this point and that isn’t enough to carry him through the match. Bulldog was a bit better, but not quite better enough to make this work.

Just like last week, we see a Shawn Michaels training video. At least it’s a different package.

Likewise, we get a similar Bret Hart training video, this one from Calgary.

Goldust vs. Fatu

Marlena is with Goldust and I don’t think the Intercontinental Title is on the line here. Goldust is wrestling in a kilt and Fatu starts fast by sending him into the corner and mocking the deep breath. A possibly low blow connects as Roddy Piper calls in and we take a break. We come back with Fatu missing a Superfly Splash, allowing Goldust to rub his chest. The Curtain Call finishes at 4:41 as Piper rants about being dangerous. Not enough shown to rate but it was more of the last minute push towards Goldust vs. Piper.

Video on the Ultimate Warrior.

Here is Camp Cornette, with Jim Cornette agreeing to a six man tag with Ahmed Johnson/Jake Roberts/Yokozuna at Wrestlemania. The villains are ready to go, with Cornette seemingly writing Mr. Fuji off TV by saying he hurt his knee in a fall. Hold on though, as Roberts and Yokozuna pop up on screen to say that if their team wins, Yokozuna gets five minutes with Cornette. Panic ensues as Yokozuna beats up a Cornette doll.

We look at an MSG house show over the weekend, with Diesel turning on Michaels. This led to Michaels promising to “kick his seven foot a**”, which was the setup for their In Your House match after Wrestlemania.

Diesel vs. Barry Horowitz

Diesel hammers away to start but here is Paul Bearer, wheeling a casket to ringside. Horowitz actually fights back but gets booted in the face for two. Instead a right hand finishes Horowitz off.

Post match Diesel grabs the timekeeper’s hammer and goes to the casket, which contains….Diesel. Oh dear.

Ted DiBiase throws a camera out of the locker room.

Bret Hart vs. Tatanka

Non-title. Tatanka strikes away in the corner to start but gets dropped with a quick clothesline. Hart goes after the arm, with a knee to said arm setting up an armbar. Back up and a crossbody gives Hart two and it’s right back to the arm. Cue the 1-2-3 Kid as Tatanka is back with a clothesline. Hart stays on the arm but gets dropped by another clothesline as we take a break. We come back with Hart fighting out of a chinlock and grabbing the Five Moves Of Doom. The Kid’s distraction doesn’t work though as Tatanka is sent into him by mistake, allowing Hart to grab a rollup for the pin at 8:40.

Rating: C+. It really is amazing how Tatanka went from someone interesting to this in the span of a few years. That heel turn killed everything he had, as there was nothing to him after the change over. He was just a guy in trunks who used to have a big undefeated streak but was now Tatanka: Heel Who Happens To Be Native American. Where was that supposed to go?

We get another Billionaire Ted skit, this time parodying A Few Good Men with Ted talking about how he needs to use predatory practices. We also get the contact information for the FTC in case you’re worried about the idea of Ted Turner getting to merge his company with Time Warner. Perhaps spending time on this week after week is why Wrestlemania feels so weak?

Overall Rating: C-. Remember how the last two weeks were good? Forget all of that for this week, as it was another boring show with mostly bad action and little that would make me want to see Wrestlemania. Hart had a mostly nothing main event and it felt like little changed for the pay per view. Building towards a pay per view shouldn’t be this hard but they are managing to mess it up fairly well.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 24, 1996
Location: Brown County Expo, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Attendance: 4,660
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with the King Of The Ring and that means King Austin, who gave what would wind up being one of the most important promos in wrestling history. Other than that, Shawn Michaels has vanquished the British Bulldog and needs someone else to come after him for the WWF Title. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Ahmed Johnson vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Johnson’s newly won Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line. Johnson works on the arm to start and shoulders Helmsley down. A headlock grinds Helmsley down and a clothesline drops him even harder. Helmsley avoids a charge though and Johnson is sent outside, where he gets sent into the steps. Johnson gets posted and then ax handled in the back as we go split screen to Goldust and Marlena. Goldust is mad about losing his title and he’s ready to bury Undertaker in his own casket. Helmsley’s chinlock goes on and we take a break.

We come back with Johnson fighting out of the corner but missing a charge into a different corner. Johnson pulls him out of the air for an atomic drop, setting up the gorilla press for two. Helmsley backdrops his way out of a Pearl River Plunge attempt and they both get a breather. Back up and Helmsley tries a backdrop, which is reversed into a Pearl River Plunge to retain the title at 13:04.

Rating: C. Johnson was someone who was at his best when he was able to go out there and showcase his incredible athleticism and that wasn’t really the case here. At the same time, it was all about Johnson getting over as a force as the new champion and this worked well enough, though having it be a non-title match doesn’t make a ton of sense.

Post match Johnson says he is proud to be the first African American Intercontinental Champion (geez that took awhile) and is ready to beat up Goldust again.

Bodydonnas vs. Brooklyn Brawler/Jerry Fox

The Bodydonnas debut Kloudy, their new manager, who is rather large and tattooed. Sunny, on commentary, is not pleased in the slightest. Zip hiptosses and slams the Brawler to start but Brawler is back up with a headlock. Skip comes in for a running neckbreaker to Fox, who gets taken into the wrong corner. Zip’s gutwrench powerbomb gets two and a top rope seated senton finishes at 3:53.

Rating: C. Good enough here, as the idea behind Kloudy is pretty clear right from the start. Unfortunately the other thing that is obvious is how one note that the whole thing is and I can’t imagine it going well. The team was only so good in the first place and having Kloudy going after Sunny (I’m sure you get the HILARIOUS play on words) is only going to get them so far.

Post match Kloudy chases Sunny off.

We look at the history of Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty.

Kloudy chases Lawler off too.

Vader/Owen Hart/Davey Boy Smith vs. Aldo Montoya/Savio Vega/Barry Horowitz

Jim Cornette and Diana Smith are here with the villains. Horowitz hiptosses Hart to start and it’s quickly off to Vega vs. Bulldog. Vega takes him over with an armdrag but Vader comes in to hammer away. A nice spinning kick to the face drops Vader and it’s off to Montoya for some dropkicks. Hart kicks him in the head though and Vader comes back in for a chokeslam. The Sharpshooter makes Montoya tap at 4:20.

Rating: C+. Pretty much a squash here, with Vega’s kick to the face being a highlight for the losing side. I do often wonder how these people feel in kayfabe when they find out they’re teaming with Horowitz. Montoya isn’t great in the first place and Vega is just ok, so they’re already in trouble and then they have Horowitz as a partner. That can’t be the most encouraging feeling.

Here is Brian Pillman on crutches for a chat. Pillman talks to Vince, saying he doesn’t need to get in the ring to make an impact.

Undertaker vs. Steve Austin

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker and this is a big deal for the new King. Undertaker slugs away to start and of course that’s fine with Austin, who punches right back. Austin kicks him in the face but gets dropped as Lawler is going after Bearer, which can’t be a good idea. The fight heads outside, with Austin being sent into various steel objects.

They get back in and Austin is knocked to the floor again, only to get back inside for another shot to the face. Austin gets a whip into the corner but charges into a boot as we take a break. We come back with Undertaker hitting Old School but Austin gets smart by kicking at the leg. Austin wraps it around the post and the middle rope elbow gets two.

We go old school with a spinning toehold to keep Undertaker down as Goldust and Marlena come to ringside. Undertaker fights up but a chop block takes him right back down again as we take another break. We come back again with Undertaker missing a running clothesline but hitting a chokeslam. The Tombstone is loaded up but Goldust throws something in Undertaker’s eyes for the DQ at 15:34.

Rating: B-. This was a rare good match between the two of them, with Austin working on the leg, though much like the recent Undertaker vs. Bulldog match, it felt more like we were waiting around for the screwiness. That’s not the best feeling and while it’s nice to see Austin getting in the ring with a big name, having him beat a big name would have been better. Still though, I’ll take a nice match which gets some time.

Post match Austin beats on Undertaker, who reverses to knock Austin outside. Bearer loads up the urn but is hesitant to hand it to Undertaker. Lawler wants Bearer to explain why he cost Undertaker last night against Mankind (by hitting Undertaker with the urn), but Undertaker chases him off to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. With King Of The Ring out of the way, it’s time to reset things a bit with Austin and Johnson as some bigger names. That’s not a bad way to go, but seeing Undertaker vs. Goldust isn’t exactly inspiring. They’re still in the weak summer period, but at least they have something to build on after the pay per view. Just do something interesting and get Michaels a better challenger.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 3, 1996
Location: Cumberland County Memorial Auditorium, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on King Of The Ring and there is a good chance that we’ll get some matches in the tournament either this week or sooner. Other than that, WWF Champion Shawn Michaels is still dealing with the British Bulldog, who Michaels couldn’t beat last month at In Your House. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Goldust giving Ahmed Johnson mouth to mouth resuscitation, which was received about as well as expected. Then Goldust posed wearing only his robe and the Intercontinental Title as he taunted Johnson.

Opening sequence.

King Of The Ring First Round: Steve Austin vs. Bob Holly

Austin backs him into the corner to start before grabbing a headlock. Holly’s hammerlock is broken up and Austin takes him down by the leg. Back up and Holly takes him into the corner to hammer away, earning himself a nasty backbreaker. A middle rope elbow gives Austin two and we’re off to the chinlock. We take a break and come back with Holly still in the chinlock but he fights up to send Austin into some buckles. That doesn’t get him anywhere though as Austin is right back with the Million Dollar Dream for the win to advance at 12:15.

Rating: C. Yeah this wasn’t much, but there was no reason to believe that Austin was going to lose to Holly. At the end of the day, Austin might not be the obvious next big thing here, but he’s certainly bigger than Holly at the moment. He’s going to need something besides the Million Dollar Dream though.

Jerry Lawler mocks Ultimate Warrior’s comic book and shows a (nice) drawing he’s made of his own comic book cover, featuring THE ULTIMATE LOSER.

Mankind vs. Barry Horowitz

Mankind goes right at him to start but gets caught with a quick dropkick. Mankind misses a charge into the corner though and gets rolled up, only to hammer Horowitz down. The running Tree of Woe elbow hits Horowitz and we go outside…to take a break? We come back with Mankind grabbing the Mandible Claw for the win at 6:54.

Rating: C-. Mankind vs. Barry Horowitz does not need a break, but for some reason the match got that much time. Mankind was still new at this point but he had hit the ground running, already tormenting the Undertaker. Taking this long to beat Horowitz didn’t help, but at least it was fairly dominant.

Post match Mankind talks about wanting to hurt the Undertaker. Of all the things he has lost, he thinks he misses his mind the most.

We look at Shawn Michaels vs. British Bulldog going to a double pin at Beware Of Dog.

We look at Ahmed Johnson losing his mind of having Goldust kiss him last week.

Goldust, still with just the belt covering him, says he was saving Johnson’s life last week. They’re fighting at King Of The Ring and Johnson will never forget Goldust’s name.

Godwinns vs. Tekno Team 2000

Sunny is on commentary and we get a promo from the* Bodydonnas, who are looking for a new manager. We even get an address for people to send in applications. Travis works on Henry’s head to start before it’s off to Phineas, who keeps looking at Sunny. We actually get a handshake between Phineas and Troy, with the latter pulling him into the corner to take over. Travis’ standing moonsault gets two but Phineas gets up and brings Henry back in. House is quickly cleaned and the Slop Drop finishes for Henry at 6:03.

Rating: D+. For the life of me I still don’t know what Tekno Team 2000 was supposed to be but they didn’t work. The Godwinns weren’t much better, as the tag division was moving in a different direction and they were still doing their goofy stuff. That being said, Sunny was the focal point here and that often works, as she had so much star power and you couldn’t avoid it.

We look at Clarence Mason claiming to have been injured by Gorilla Monsoon, which is total nonsense of course.

King Of The Ring First Round: Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Jake Roberts

Helmsley’s headlock takes Roberts down to start and we get a quick curtsy. Back up and Roberts hiptosses him into a knee lift, with Helmsley bailing out to the floor. Roberts is smart enough to wait inside, where he takes Helmsley down by the arm. The armbar goes on for a bit until a frustrated Helmsley rolls outside again.

We take a break and come back with Helmsley sending him into the corner. Helmsley drops a knee for two as commentary talks about Warrior’s comic book. More stomping sets up a chinlock but Roberts jawbreaks his way to freedom. The threat of a DDT is broken up with a ram into the corner and we take another break. We come back again with Roberts hitting the DDT for the pin at 16:15.

Rating: C+. It’s a bit weird to see Helmsley losing like this, but at the same time the DDT was up there as an all time devastating finisher. The fans reacted to it rather well and Roberts getting a Cinderella run in the tournament isn’t a bad idea. Other than that, the match was probably the best thing on the show, which is rather telling.

Overall Rating: C-. The tournament needs to get going, because there is not much going on with the show otherwise. Michaels vs. Bulldog isn’t interesting and without Undertaker here to brawl with him, Mankind is just sort of weird. That’s pretty much the show at this point, and this show didn’t make me want to see what they have going on at the moment.

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 24, 1995
Location: Omaha Civic Auditorium, Omaha, Nebraska
Attendance: 5,800
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’ll wrap up the month with a pretty big show, as Diesel is defending the WWF Title against Bam Bam Bigelow. The winner of that goes on to face Sid at In Your House in about three weeks, so there is already quite a bit on the line. The rest of the pay per view card could use some build of its own though and we might be seeing that come together this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We look at Bam Bam Bigelow’s recent issues, including losing at the Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania. Bigelow is going to do better, such as getting a WWF Title match tonight. That’s quite the punishment for a high profile loss.

Opening sequence.

Commentary welcomes us to the show and runs down the card.

Smoking Gunns vs. Barry Horowitz/Brooklyn Brawler

Billy works on Brawler’s arm to start and Bart comes in with a top rope ax handle. A double Russian legsweep lets Bart stay on the arm before a neckbreaker/belly to back suplex combination finishes for Billy at 2:16. Short and sweet.

Bam Bam Bigelow, with a very black eye, is ready to win the WWF Title for the Million Dollar Corporation.

Diesel is ready for Bigelow.

Bertha Faye vs. La Pantera Serena

Faye is the woman who attacked Alundra Blayze a few weeks ago. This time though she’s in bright rainbow colors and a skirt rather than all black for quite the downgrade. Faye kicks away to start and Serena can’t do much with the power. Serena comes back with some kicks but Faye sits down on her to block a sunset flip. A legdrop crushes Serena and a sitout powerbomb drops her again. Faye’s falling splash finishes at 3:54.

Rating: C-. And we’re done with Faye being someone who can be taken seriously. She came in as a monster a few weeks ago and felt different but here she’s little more than a comedy monster who does some good power stuff. The presentation makes a huge difference, but why go with someone serious when you can do something goofy?

The In Your House report runs down the card, which now features Razor Ramon/1-2-3 Kid vs. Jeff Jarrett/The Roadie and Bret Hart vs. Hakushi. And you can win a house!

Sid is ready for In Your House.

WWF Title: Diesel vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Bigelow, with Ted DiBiase, is challenging. Diesel actually wrestles him to the mat to start and Bigelow needs a breather on the floor. Back in and Diesel unloads on him in the corner before dropping a big elbow for two. A boot choke in the corner sets up an armbar but Bigelow slams his way out of trouble.

Diesel shrugs off a falling headbutt and hits a running clothesline so they can head outside. Bigelow posts him and hits a Samoan drop for two back inside. We take a break and come back with Diesel fighting out of a chinlock so they can collide for a double down. Diesel is up first to drop an elbow, setting up the running crotch attack against the ropes.

A snap suplex gives Diesel two and he grabs a neck crank. That’s broken up and Bigelow gets his own suplex into his own neck crank. Tatanka comes out to ringside as Diesel fights up, only to get stomped back down. We take another break and come back with Tatanka accidentally tripping Bigelow. A big boot and the Jackknife retain the title at 16:04.

Rating: C+. We’re pretty clearly on the way to a Bigelow face turn and that’s not the worst idea. He’s having the year of his life and it is easy to see why he is getting this kind of a chance. The fans are going to respond to someone who looks like that with that kind of movement and it’s why he was pushed this strong. Just do something with him and it could work.

Post match DiBiase and Tatanka get in the ring to yell at Bigelow. DiBiase can’t believe that Bigelow lost to a FOOTBALL PLAYER and now this. DiBiase slaps him and Tatanka jumps Bigelow from behind, only to get dropped. Bigelow quits the team so here is IRS to help with the beatdown. Sid (in blue for a weird look) comes in as well and a rather horrible powerbomb leaves Bigelow laying. Diesel runs in for the save.

Aldo Montoya vs. Black Phantom

Montoya hammers away to start and sends him to the floor for a slingshot dive. Back in and Montoya works on the arm but Phantom fights up. A middle rope crossbody puts Phantom down again and Montoya’s middle rope bulldog finishes at 2:45.

There’s a new star coming to the WWF. Some Connecticut blue blood.

We look at Diesel and Bam Bam Bigelow shaking hands during a commercial earlier tonight.

Overall Rating: C. Well, there was a big angle and that helped a bit, but the rest of the show was the run of the mill stuff we’ve seen around here forever. The show needs something interesting to spice it up and while the Bigelow turn was close, it was only so good. It’s going to take a long time for the company to get out of this rut and that’s making for some rough times.

 

 

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Summerslam 1995
Date: August 27, 1995
Location: Pittsburgh Civic Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 18,062
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

So it’s time for the annual redos and for some reason, my readers decided to have me watch one of the worst Summerslams of all time. I’m so thrilled. Anyway this is built around Diesel vs. King Mabel in one of those moments where Vince McMahon was considered completely insane. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the big matches tonight, including Diesel vs. Mabel, Jerry Lawler sending his evil dentist (that will never sound normal) against Bret Hart, Kama Mustafa vs. Undertaker (over the again stolen urn) and the sequel to the ladder match (which was added because the company knew they were dead in the water otherwise).

I still love the big flying blimp in the arena. The fans behind it must be so thrilled. Now am I being sarcastic on that one?

Dean Douglas, the annoying teacher, is in the back to critique all of the matches. I’m not a Shane fan, but to go from the Franchise to this is a shame.

1-2-3 Kid vs. Hakushi

Vince: “The Kid is ready for WWF action!” You mean this isn’t the Boggle tournament? Hakushi’s White Angel look is way too awesome for a show like this. Kid grabs a headlock to start but gets taken down by the hair, with a fan opposite the hard camera being VERY upset by the cheating. A trip takes Hakushi down but he kicks Kid away, giving us a double nipup.

Back up and they both miss spinning kicks for another early standoff. Hakushi finally sends him into the corner for the handspring elbow and the fans aren’t sure what to think of it (fair enough as he’s a heel, but an awesome heel). The Bronco Buster hits Kid (so that’s where he got it) and it’s time to kick at his leg. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Hakushi sends him outside and hits a cartwheel into a backdrop over the top for your YOU DO KNOW IT’S 1995 spot.

Back in and a top rope headbutt to the standing Kid gets two but a top rope splash misses. Kid dropkicks him to the floor and hits his own dive, followed by a slingshot legdrop for two. Kid’s top rope splash connects for the patented 1-2-He Got Him NO! Back up and Kid tries a spinwheel kick but gets caught in something like a belly to back suplex to give Hakushi the pin at 9:28.

Rating: B-. This was WAY ahead of its time with stuff like the Space Flying Tiger Drop of all things being far more than you would expect from a WWF match in 1995. The Kid was very good as well and fought from underneath with his own high flying. Good stuff here, though I’m worried about what else they have for the rest of the night.

Dok Hendrix is WAY too excited to know about Mabel’s master plan. You’ll just have to wait, exactly like Big Daddy Fool. And that’s before he even gets in the ring people.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Bob Holly

Helmsley is brand new here and still an undefeated blue blood. There’s no contact for the first minute so Holly grabs him for a slam and an armdrag sends Helmsley into the corner. Holly charges at him though and gets caught in a Stun Gun to let Helmsley take over. Vince talks about wanting to see Lawler in a go kart or bumper cars as Holly gets whipped hard into the corner.

The chinlock goes on and we cut to British Bulldog arriving, even though he has nothing to say. Back in and arena and Holly’s abdominal stretch is countered with a hiptoss over the top. Holly is right back up with a DDT and the dropkick with the backdrop completing the jobber level comeback. A missed charge lets Helmsley finish with the Pedigree at 7:10.

Rating: D. Oh come on. I know it’s a different era but this made Summerslam? I can get behind the idea of a match to make a newcomer look good but this wasn’t entertaining on any level. Helmsley was clearly someone they wanted to push but this would have been boring on Raw and we get it on a pay per view. At least it was short, but that’s all I’ve got.

Some wrestlers and firemen had a charity tug of war. Nothing wrong with that.

Blu Brothers vs. Smoking Gunns

Jacob (of Jacob and Eli Blu, which sounds conspicuously like Jake and Elwood Blues) gets caught in an early armbar from Billy. It’s off to Bart in a hurry but Eli snaps his throat across the top to take over. A quick crossbody gets Bart out of trouble though and Billy comes back in.

The yet to be named H Bomb (when they would become the Harris Twins that is) plants Billy for a delayed two and it’s off to the also yet to be named Tree of Woe (1995 needs to catch up with the times already). Lawler: “I bought five copies of Windows 95 and I don’t even have a computer.” After that random line, Eli gets two off a powerslam as the second Raw level match continues. Billy gets in a dropkick and brings in Bart to clean house. Heel miscommunication lets the Sidewinder connect for the fast pin on Eli at 6:11.

Rating: D-. At least in the Helmsley vs. Holly match (something that has never been said) they were pushing someone new and fresh. Here it’s a win for the Gunns, who had been around for years and were former Tag Team Champions. And against the Blu Brothers? That’s the best they can put together for what should be the second biggest show of the year? Thank goodness we were only a few weeks away from Nitro because this is some horrible planning.

We recap Barry Horowitz vs. Skip in a rematch of the huge upset of Barry pinning Skip. Barry then won by surviving a ten minute challenge, meaning it’s time for a third match. The idea here is that Barry hasn’t won a match in years but managed to pull this one off. How this is supposed to make me want to watch isn’t clear, as Barry is only going to be known to long time fans who are going to be watching in the first place.

Barry Horowitz vs. Skip

Sunny is out with Skip and does her trademark great rant about how they were cheated twice but it won’t happen again. Barry charges to the ring (with the awesome rock version of Hava Nagila) and hammers away to start with a clothesline putting Skip on the floor. Back in and Barry gets two off an O’Connor roll before suplexing Skip over the top again. Sunny tries to throw in the towel but is told that it’s not boxing and doesn’t count. Uh, it counted for Bob Backlund in 1983.

The distraction works well enough for Skip to jump Barry from behind, meaning it’s time for some jumping jacks. For some reason, this turns into a discussion of who would win in a fight between Siskel and Ebert. Barry is back up with some shoulders for two and a sunset flip for the same. Skip runs him over again though and it’s off to a seated abdominal stretch. That’s broken up as well and Horowitz goes old school with a Thesz press of all things for two more.

Skip pulls it back to the mat for legdrops and a chinlock but Barry jobbers up. They trade dropkicks and it’s a double knockdown as this keeps going. Another dropkick from Barry crotches him on top but Skip knocks him backwards. The Swan Dive gives Skip two so Barry hits another dropkick and goes up. This time it’s Sunny crotching him down for a change, which draws out Hakushi of all people. The distraction into a rollup lets Barry get his third straight win at 11:23.

Rating: D. AND??? Am I really supposed to get behind Horowitz after this? The guy has a career win/loss record somewhere lower than mine and now he’s getting a win on Summerslam? Somehow this is the best that they can do and that sums up a lot of the problems they were having around this point.

Dean Douglas uses a telestrator to talk about the previous match in big words. Barry gets an S for Slacker.

Shane throws it to Vince but we get Todd Pettengill instead, who gives us a look at the Wrestlemania X ladder match. Shawn Michaels says you can’t prepare for a ladder match but Razor isn’t taking his title again tonight.

Women’s Title: Bertha Faye vs. Alundra Blayze

Faye, with Harvey Wippleman, is challenging and her gimmick is that she’s large and not very attractive. This is one of those gimmicks that was bad then, worse later and horrible today. Blayze kicks her down to start and sweeps the leg for a bonus. More kicks have Bertha in trouble but she runs Blayze over, because she’s big you see.

The middle rope splash misses and Blayze gets two off a victory roll. Some running head slams get no cover as Harvey has the referee. Instead Blayze goes after him but can’t get the German suplex on Faye. A hurricanrana gives Blayze two and a missile dropkick has Faye reeling. Another dropkick misses though and it’s a sitout powerbomb to give Faye the pin and the title at 4:37.

Rating: D-. You can hear Vince laughing at this one and doing so all by himself. This gimmick isn’t funny and it’s a waste of someone as talented as she was. Is there any reason why they felt the need to humiliate someone that they brought in? There was nothing that the women could do when Faye was only allowed to use the “I’m big” offense in a short match. Terrible stuff here and it’s not on the wrestlers.

Post match Faye says she’s the beauty now and has the belt. Blayze would get it back in about two months.

We recap Undertaker vs. Kama Mustafa, who is the latest person to steal the urn (and melted it down into a big gold chain because reasons) as part of Undertaker vs. the Million Dollar Corporation, which felt like it went on forever. Kama even beat up some of the Creatures of the Night, meaning he’s gone too far. Therefore, it’s a casket match because what else could it be.

Paul Bearer and Undertaker promise to finish Kama.

Undertaker vs. Kama Mustafa

Casket match with Ted DiBiase in Kama’s corner to counter Bearer. Undertaker isn’t wasting time and picks Kama up for some choking and then throws him onto the casket. Something close to a Stinger Splash (THEY’RE DOING THE MATCH!!!) and Old School connects. The casket is opened revealing the Casket Cam as Kama is knocked in.

That goes nowhere this early and Kama is right back up with a top rope clothesline. Undertaker’s second Stinger Splash is caught with a powerslam and of course he sits up again. DiBiase offers a distraction so Kama can hammer and kick away. A clothesline puts Undertaker on top of the closed casket and a suplex does it again. Kama can’t piledrive him on the casket though and Undertaker backdrops him inside.

That’s fine with Kama, who hits a powerslam for a cover, checking off your required “I forgot this is a casket match” box. We hit the chinlock for a good while as the match just stops as they lay there. A belly to back suplex finally gives them something to do and the comeback is on.

The jumping clothesline connects but it’s a Cactus Clothesline to put them both in the casket. They come out and it’s a prototype of the famous shot of Shawn Michaels being dragged back in as Kama is put inside again. Back in and Kama grabs a swinging neckbreaker to put them both down again. The chokeslam connects though and it’s a Tombstone to finish Kama for good at 16:26.

Rating: D. It wasn’t even that it was bad but it was WAY too long with all of the laying around and Kama being the least believable opponent Undertaker has had in a long time. Kama felt like the villain in the fourth edition of an action movie series that has gone on too long and the star needed a paycheck. Really dull stuff here and the last thing the show needed.

Lawler is very excited about the idea of Isaac Yankem removing Bret Hart’s teeth.

Video on Yankem, who really is an evil dentist and we really are supposed to believe this as something threatening. Lawler vs. Hart has been going on for over two years now and has offered some awesome stuff, but as soon as Todd says “the King recruited a dentist”, it loses me a bit. Yankem is of course better known as Kane and his story of hearing that he was being brought in to be an evil dentist is rather funny.

Bret is ready to shut Lawler’s mouth. Bret to Yankem: “I don’t care if you’re a dentist.” Words never spoken in wrestling before or since.

Isaac Yankem vs. Bret Hart

Lawler handles Yankem’s entrance. As a bonus pun, Yankem is billed from Decay-tur, Illinois. Lawler is on commentary for a bit of a surprise as Bret gets shoved down to start. Yankem misses a big elbow but is fine enough to send Bret hard into the corner. Bret is back with an atomic drop and a clothesline for a trip to the floor. Back in and Bret hits a middle rope clothesline, followed by the headbutt to the abdomen.

The backslide gets two as Lawler is saying only Vince needs to be impartial tonight. Another hard whip into the corner takes Bret down again and Isaac chokes on the ropes until the referee drags him away by the hair. More choking ensues as Yankem doesn’t have the highest variety in his offense so far.

Bret is back up and sends him outside for a suicide dive as the comeback is on. Back in and it’s time for the Five Moves Of Doom but a Lawler distraction breaks up the Sharpshooter. Lawler stays up to cheer on Yankem’s beating (as he should) but Bret gets in a slam off the top for a rare power display.

In a change of pace, Bret ties Yankem’s legs around the post and stomps away until the referee unties Yankem’s feet. Lawler would do it but he’s too busy getting beaten up by Bret. The distraction lets Yankem hit a top rope ax handle to the back and Lawler helps him tie Bret’s neck in the ropes for the DQ at 16:10.

Rating: C+. Bret was doing everything he could here but Yankem wasn’t there yet and there’s only so much you can do as an evil dentist. The match felt straight out of Memphis with someone wanting to get at Lawler but he brought in his latest monster for protection. It’s a perfectly usable story and the match wasn’t bad, so I’ll take what I can get here.

Post match Lawler and Yankem pull at the still trapped Bret until referees break it up.

Razor Ramon isn’t scared of Shawn Michaels and he’ll take every chance he can get. If Shawn is ready to dance, Razor leads.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

Shawn is defending in a ladder match, which was added due to “fan demand”, which is a rather accurate definition of what happened (originally scheduled to be Shawn vs. Sid before the company woke up and saw the rest of the card). The title is raised but hang on because Shawn isn’t happy with the way it’s attached to the hook (likely a problem with how the finish was supposed to go). Dok Hendrix has replaced Lawler on commentary.

They both look up at the title and then go to the slugout, as they should have done. The threat of an early superkick has Razor grabbing the ropes in a smart move. A Razor’s Edge attempt has Shawn looking worried so Razor throws him outside without much trouble. It’s time to go for the ladder but Shawn cuts Razor off from getting it. I’ve never gotten that but I guess it’s a pride thing.

They head back to the ring instead with Razor suplexing Shawn outside but Shawn’s leg hits the barricade in a nasty looking crash. Dok: “I might suggest that’s it.” Vince: “Uh yes that’s it.” Back in and Shawn escapes the Edge again but misses another superkick, meaning it’s a double clothesline to put them both down. Razor is up first and hits a super fall away slam as he continues the early dominance (they’re building things up here and that’s going to pay off in the end).

Now the ladder is brought in as we see Sid watching in the back. Shawn makes a fast save though and it’s his turn to grab the ladder, but he would rather hit Razor than climb. Razor breaks up a climb by pulling the tights down and then shoves the ladder over in a smart move. Replays show Shawn’s leg getting caught in the ladder on the way down as the focal point continues to grow.

The leg gets crushed in the ladder again and the fans aren’t pleased. Razor slams him legs first onto the ladder and then puts the ladder on the middle rope in the corner. That gives Razor another place to drop Shawn’s knee onto the ladder and it’s time to go into the Ric Flair cannonballs onto the leg. Shawn kicks him to the floor for a breather but that just lets Razor wrap the knee around the post. Back in and the knee gets wrenched again The ladder is set up in the middle of the ring but Shawn suplexes Razor back down for a double knockdown.

Shawn puts the ladder in the corner and whips Razor into it and bring the cheers back. A moonsault off the ladder lets Shawn hammer away but he misses the huge splash off the ladder (call back tot he previous match) and they’re both down again. They both make the slow climb and crash back down for a double crotching on the top. A missed charge with the ladder has Shawn falling out to the floor and Razor goes down with him. Shawn goes back in and sets up the ladder but Razor brings in a second ladder (a new concept at the time).

Razor drops his though and hits the Razor’s Edge off the original ladder for the big knockout shot. He can’t follow up though and they’re both down again. Both ladders are set up for a double climb but Shawn superkicks him down. Hang on though as Shawn isn’t under the belt so he jumps for it, meaning another crash down onto the bad leg. Another Razor’s Edge attempt is countered with a backdrop to the floor, allowing Shawn to go up and grab the title….but he falls again without the belt coming down. A ticked off Shawn goes up and pulls the title down to retain at 25:09.

Rating: A. Yeah this was outstanding and you could argue it’s better than the original. The big difference here was having the match involve a ladder instead of being about a ladder. They had a heck of a match with Razor working the leg and Shawn having to find a way around the power game. The teasing of finishers until the end was a great addition as well and the whole thing was a blast with big spots and awesome action throughout. Check this out and then go watch the first one again because you really could say either of them is better.

Post match Razor grabs the belt but hands it to Shawn for the nice moment.

Douglas doesn’t like Razor calling himself the Bad Guy when Razor comes in to knock him down with one punch.

Diesel isn’t worried about Mabel. You know, because he’s Mabel.

WWF World Title: King Mabel vs. Diesel

Mabel, with Sir Mo, is defending and the story here is finding out his Royal Plan. We get the trash talking before the bell and my goodness Mabel’s crown looks pitiful. It looks like it’s made of paper or cheap plastic and comes off like a toy instead of something serious. Kind of like his whole push in a way.

Mabel runs him over to start and chops away in the corner but Diesel forearms him back. The big slam doesn’t work so Diesel hits some clotheslines to put Mabel on the floor. Diesel actually manages a dive over the top (not terrible either) to take Mabel down but the fans just do not care. Mabel charges into a big boot but is back in with a….I guess Boss Man Slam, but he shoved Diesel down instead of picking him up. To mix it up a bit, Mabel sits on Diesel’s back but misses a backsplash.

The referee gets bumped so Mo comes in (which seems to be the Royal Plan), drawing out Lex Luger for the save. Well the attempted save at least as Luger is knocked outside, leaving Mabel to drop the leg on Diesel on the floor. Luger takes care of Mo (Did Luger just come out early or something? Also, that would be his last appearance in the company as he would debut on Nitro eight days later), leaving Mabel to hit the belly to belly for two. Mabel misses a middle rope splash though, allowing Diesel to hit a middle rope clothesline to retain at 9:16 (admittedly to a big pop).

Rating: D-. Oh come on what else were you expecting here? It’s freaking MABEL. Diesel is someone who can have a great match with the right opponent but Mabel is so far away from being the right opponent that he’s the left one. There’s no way to make this work as Mabel was nothing more than the big guy with a lame lackey. There was no way this was going to work, the match was terrible and they got them out of there almost as fast as possible. What else could this have been?

Overall Rating: D. There are some bright spots in here, but aside from the classic ladder match, this could have been any given house show. The opener was good, Bret vs. Yankem could have been a lot worse and the ladder match is awesome. Other than that, there is no reason to think of this as a special show in any way and that was very clear throughout. I know it’s a dark time for the company, but this was them putting out whatever they had because they had to do a show instead of trying to put on a great show. Terrible for the most part, with a few bright spots sprinkled in.

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Superstars
Date: June 13, 1992
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect

We’re off to the start of a new taping cycle here and that means…well very little but it’s still nice to see these things being released on occasion. They’re such an easy watch and that makes for some fun flashbacks. The big story continues to be Papa Shango cursing the Ultimate Warrior and the blowoff has to be coming soon. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

The hosts welcome us to the show with a bunch of horse puns before talking about the WBF Championships, because that’s still a thing.

We run down the card.

Tatanka vs. Barry Horowitz

Horowitz hammers away to start but Tatanka is back with some leapfrogs (and barely seems to get the landing on one of them). A hiptoss doesn’t do much to Horowitz, who sends Tatanka face first into his boot. Tatanka hits a not exactly smooth gorilla press and we get a Rick Martel insert promo, mocking Tatanka over the stolen feathers. Tatanka fights back, hits the top rope chop to the head, and finishes with the Papoose To Go at 2:24.

UPDATE!

We recap Ultimate Warrior’s issues due to Papa Shango’s curse. Then last week Shango blew smoke at Gene Okerlund and left him unable to use his right hand, which started spurting out more black goo. Okerlund does sell it rather well, which shouldn’t be a surprise.

The Warrior is willing to sacrifice his flesh so he can walk only as a skeleton. If he stands only as a skeleton, it is still as the skeleton as the Ultimate Warrior. I’m sure that’s answering a challenge. I guess.

Shawn Michaels vs. Graig Brown

Sherri is here with Michaels, who takes Brown down a few times. We get an insert interview from Michaels/Sherri, where he talks about how hard it must be to go through life being as ugly as Bret Hart. He’ll take that Intercontinental Title from Hart though. A ram into the buckle annoys Michaels so he rolls outside for a quick check in the mirror. Back in and the superkick into the teardrop suplex finishes Brown at 1:41. Naturally Michaels uses this as a chance to talk about the WBF. Let it go already man.

We go to the Event Center with Sean Mooney.

Repo Man doesn’t like dogs ruining his business and suggests a choke collar. That’s what he wants to do to the British Bulldog.

Texas Tornado has rededicated a lot of things, including his life, his friends and to Jesus, because he is doing it for you. You could hear him slurring his words a bit here, which shouldn’t be a surprise.

We go to the streets of Miami, where Razor Ramon talks about how he comes from the gutter. He has no education, but who needs it? Look at his gold and his clothes. Of course he is a success, and all he wants is the world.

Natural Disasters vs. Executioners

The Executioners (generic masked guys) charge at the Disasters to start and try some slams, earning themselves a pair of backbreakers. Typhoon splashes #1 in the corner and then throws him down, followed by some slow stomping. Earthquake comes in for the double splash in the corner and for some reason #2 tries a double clothesline (Perfect finds this amazingly stupid). The powerslam into the Earthquake into the Typhoon splash (ignore that Typhoon was already in the ring when he was tagged) finishes at 2:57.

Back to the Event Center, with Skinner talking about how he likes it nice and hot in the summer. Virgil and Crush (“Or Crunch, whatever his name is.”) are coming at him from different sides but he has all the time in the world. If he can beat up a bear or an alligator, he can beat up a WWF Superstar.

Paul Bearer and Undertaker warn Berzerker and Mr. Fuji against coming to the dark side.

The Mountie vs. Bill Koby

Vince’s “Oh no not him again” when Mountie comes out is great. Mountie takes his time to start before tying him up in the Tree of Woe for some stomping. We get an insert promo from Sgt. Slaughter talking about the importance of Flag Day. Mountie finishes with a dropkick at 1:27.

Post match the Mountie gets his shock stick out of the box and threatens Koby, who runs away just in time.

Ad for the WBF PPV.

We get an empty arena interview with Randy Savage, who will be defending the WWF Title later. There are allegations that he had to bend the rules to win the title, which makes Savage whistle. Yes he has bent the rules a time or two but he reserves the right to do it again in the future. He’s fine with wrestling scientifically but if he knows he’s going against a dirty player, he’s not going to be naive.

Savage isn’t going to forget anything Ric Flair has said or done and he’ll take it to the grave. He’s bad to the bone with a heart made of stone and he’s the WWF Champion and Ric Flair is not. Of course he’ll break the rules if it means beating Flair. It’s weird to hear a clear good guy talk like that, but it fits Savage perfectly well.

Kamala vs. Dale Wolfe

Harvey Wippleman handles Kamala’s introduction. Kamala chops away on the ropes to start and stomps him down, followed by a variety of choking. Commentary goes silent for a few moments before the splash finishes for Kamala at 1:24.

El Matador vs. Mike Samples

Of note: during Matador’s entrance, a man with a mustache and wearing a blue shirt can be seen holding up a four year old, who got a high five from Matador himself (no wonder I’ve always been a fan). Commentary finally stops talking about the WBF before going to an insert promo from Matador….so he can talk about the WBF. Matador takes him down by the arm and finishes with El Paso de la Muerte at 1:26.

Mr. Perfect calls the Big Boss Man and we see shots of all of the bruises and injuries the Boss Man sustained at the hands of Nailz. Perfect is glad that Boss Man’s career is over but Boss Man says he’ll be back, which makes Perfect hang up.

Nailz vs. Ron Cumberledge

For some reason, Nailz is one of the only things I remember about this show (likely due to being terrified of him). Nailz chokes away in the corner and kicks him in the ribs. A standing choke finishes Cumberledge at 1:07.

Post match Nailz beats him down with a nightstick.

Papa Shango talks about pain and how he’s hurting the Ultimate Warrior. The Warrior will become his mindless, thankless troll. How could you tell?

The Legion Of Doom are ready for every team around because they are the only great team around.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Shawn Michaels has left the building. McMahon: “What?”

Overall Rating: C-. This was a fairly weak show even by Superstars standards, but at the same time, there was some great nostalgia in here. It’s a show I haven’t seen since it aired live (or even being there in person) and it’s from a period that the WWF doesn’t talk about very often. The fact that McMahon and Perfect talked about the WBF so much rather than the show itself shows you just where the WWF was at this point.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 27, 1993
Location: New Haven Coliseum, New Haven, Connecticut
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

Things are going to be going in a different direction this week as the Steiner Brothers, who have been the focus of the last two weeks, have been suspended. That means we are going to need something fresh, and that could mean just about anything around here. Hopefully they pick one of the better options of what they have available so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Jack Tunney (he has to be about done) joins us to announce that Shawn Michaels has been suspended for no selling title defenses (or allegedly drugs, though Shawn still denies that to this day). Therefore, Shawn has been stripped of the Intercontinental Title (a first for the title, with Ultimate Warrior relinquishing it in 1990 rather than having it taken from him) and a battle royal will be held next week. The last two men in that match will meet the following week to crown a new champion. Better than just giving it to the winner of the battle royal.

Opening sequence.

Tatanka vs. Rick Martel

In case you didn’t get enough at Wrestlemania VIII. Feeling out process to start as Vince talks about next week’s battle royal. Martel takes him down and jumps some jacks and they fight over arm control. Tatanka gets driven into the corner to break up a hammerlock as we hear about Heenan getting over his cold. That earns Martel a hard crash to the floor and we hit the stall button. Savage: “STALL-ING!”

The chase finally brings Martel back inside where he stomps away before avoiding a middle rope spinning crossbody. Tatanka gets kicked to the floor and we take a break. Back with Martel putting on the abdominal stretch as Vince describes this as a seesaw match, back and force.

A belly to back gives Martel two more but a slingshot splash hits raised knees. Martel is fine enough to grab a reverse chinlock but Tatanka makes the comeback and hits a high crossbody. The warpath is on and Tatanka slams him down, setting up a top rope chop to the head. Martel sends a charging Tatanka over the top to the floor only to be pulled outside as well. The brawl sends them to the double countout at 10:44.

Rating: C. Completely watchable match, but there is only so much to get out of Tatanka vs. Martel in 1993. Tatanka is still undefeated so they didn’t want to give Martel the win, though at the end of the day, Martel needed to be reestablished after being gone for a bit. Not bad, but the ending didn’t do it any favors.

Joe Fowler tells us the names in the battle royal:

IRS
Randy Savage
Adam Bomb
Giant Gonzalez
Mr. Perfect
Owen Hart
Rick Martel
Jimmy Snuka
Bob Backlund
Pierre
Jacques
Razor Ramon
Mabel
Diesel
MVP
1-2-3 Kid
Bam Bam Bigelow
Marty Jannetty
Tatanka
Bastion Booger

Ludvig Borga vs. Phil Apollo

Borga rushes him in the corner to start and hits a side slam as Heenan talks about reading the newspaper in the bathroom. A spinebuster plants Apollo and Borga tosses him outside. Back in and a delayed vertical suplex plants Apollo again. The torture rack finishes Apollo at 3:17.

Rating: C-. Total squash, but I’ve always liked Borga to a certain extent. You need to have him beat people up to make him seem more important, though the showdown with Lex Luger has to come at some point. Yes Borga is little more than than another foreign monster, but it still works well enough.

Jimmy Snuka vs. Paul Van Dale

Snuka jumps him to start but gets elbowed in the back of the head. Heenan calls Crush to ask why Randy Savage is in the battle royal but Crush isn’t. A headbutt drops Van Dale and Snuka hits him in the throat for a bonus. Savage tells Crush to say what he has to say as Crush talks about how he is in great shape. A shot to the ribs drops Van Dale again as Heenan wonders if he can get the charges on the call reversed. Snuka’s leapfrog into the chop connects as I feel like I’m in a weird time warp. The slingshot suplex into the Superfly Splash finishes Van Dale at 4:34.

Rating: C-. The Splash still looked good and the fans reacted to it, but Snuka in 1993 feels like it belongs at some independent show rather than on Raw. He didn’t look great and the squash wasn’t exactly interesting, but I guess they were going for some nostalgia. It didn’t exactly work, but they were trying.

We look back at PJ Walker upsetting IRS thanks to Razor Ramon’s distraction.

IRS is in his office and still livid over the loss. He’ll get some revenge on Ramon in the battle royal. The closeup of IRS’ face is more than a little weird to see. Even weirder: Vince calls him Mr. Rotundo.

Tag Team Titles: Quebecers vs. Barry Horowitz/Reno Riggins

The Quebecers, with Johnny Polo, are defending. Hold on though as Riggins is sick so Horowitz has a replacement: the 1-2-3 Kid! The Kid kicks away at Jacques to start and everything breaks down fast. The champs are dropkicked outside for a meeting with Polo as the fans approve. Back in and a running elbow hits the Kid in the face to take over as Vince talks about the battle royal again.

Jacques slams Pierre onto the Kid and Pierre drops Jacques onto the Kid as the champs take over. There’s a double hot shot to keep the Kid in trouble but he kicks his way to freedom. With Jacques out on the floor and water to the face not working, Polo calls for a stretcher. Jacques is wheeled out but Pierre gets to keep defending on his own! I don’t know if that’s how the rules work but we take a break and come back with Pierre dropping a middle rope legdrop for two on Horowitz.

The middle rope headbutt makes it worse but for some reason, Pierre slam Horowitz into the corner for the tag to the Kid. A bunch of strikes put Pierre down but he low bridges Kid out to the floor. Polo sends the mostly out of it Kid back inside for the pin to retain the titles at 13:23.

Rating: C+. This was a nice change of pace as there was actually a story to the match. The fact that the Quebecers had to get cut in half to give Horowitz and the Kid a chance is kind of telling about how the match was going to go, but the did try. For a one off though, it was working, or at least as well as it could with a relatively uninterested crowd.

Razor Ramon comes out to say he’s ready for the battle royal, with Heenan trying to stir up some issues between Ramon and Savage.

Overall Rating: C+. This show had one goal and one goal only: make you care about next week’s battle royal. That was the entire focus of the show and it actually worked well, as it was treated as the most important thing going on anywhere. I could go for seeing the match now, which is impressive as I’ve seen it before and it wasn’t very good in the first place. Nice show here, with some ok wrestling but a locked in focus on what really matters.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 7, 1994
Location: Fernwood Resort, Bushkill, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,600
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bastion Booger

We are fresh off of the Royal Rumble and on the way to Wrestlemania, but that is going to prove tricky. Bret Hart and Lex Luger are the co-winners of the Royal Rumble and that means we are going to need to figure out more than a few things. Other than that, Wrestlemania is going to need so work done so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of 1-2-3 Kid stealing IRS’s briefcase last week. Razor Ramon and Marty Jannetty then saved the little thief from getting what was coming to him.

Opening sequence.

Vince McMahon introduces Bastion Booger (oh boy) and promises to introduce us to Thurman Plugg, whose friends call him Sparky! Booger actually talks, which is more than I was expecting. The card is run down and Booger eats a lot.

Smoking Gunns vs. Reno Riggins/Barry Horowitz

We hear about Booger wanting to host the Oscars instead of Whoopi Goldberg as Billy armdrags Riggins down a few times to start. Riggins gets sent outside and needs a meeting with Horowitz (Barry recommends more patting on the back) before coming back inside to get his arm cranked again. Bart drops Riggins with a suplex as Booger thinks he should be part of a tag team. Vince: “What about Roseanne Barr?” After some jokes about Freddie Blassie’s upcoming birthday, Bart brings in Billy for a top rope splash/something like a powerbomb combination to finish Riggins.

Rating: C-. Just a squash here but egads it is going to be a rough time to listen to Booger all night long. His voice is weird enough and then hearing him make jokes about pop culture and current stories doesn’t make it better. That being said, the Gunns continue to be one of the better teams of their generation and it is fun going back and seeing them do their thing.

We look back at Owen Hart turning on Bret Hart at the Royal Rumble.

Owen is happy with what he did after Bret cost him the Tag Team Titles.

Bret can’t let this keep going and thinks he has to do something about Owen.

Owen Hart vs. John Paul

Owen rips up some Bret Hart sunglasses that he teases giving to a fan for some good heeling. Fans: “WE WANT BRET!” Booger: “I WANT PIZZA!” Owen works on the arm to start and cranks away, only to get elbowed in the face. We talk about some weight loss show as Owen hits a backbreaker. Booger still wants pizza but Vince pitches ICO-PRO instead. That doesn’t work for Booger, as I guess he doesn’t want it. A snap suplex has Paul in trouble but he manages to send Owen into the buckle. That just earns him the spinwheel kick for two as Owen pulls him up. The enziguri sets up the Sharpshooter to end Paul.

Rating: C. I can go for more of Owen but EGADS the commentary is killing this show. Anyway, Owen is on the way to a showdown with Bret, whenever they get around to announcing the show. Another total squash, which unfortunately was more about the annoyance from Booger than anything else.

Paul Bearer is in the graveyard and insists that Undertaker may be gone but he has never left us. He comes to the graveyard to be closer to Undertaker’s spirit and you must have faith in the fact that one day, he will rise again.

The WWF Fan Festival is coming. That would be the forerunner to Axxess.

IRS vs. Marty Jannetty

IRS accuses the locals of being a bunch of tax cheats, as is his custom. Vince hypes up the Fan Festival as a way to get in the ring, get a photo with Paul Bearer, or MEET MARTY JANNETTY! IRS slugs away to start and gets his with a dropkick that didn’t look so great. Back up and the jumping back elbow sends IRS outside for a breather as tends to be his custom. We hit the pause as Booger and Vince talk about pizza.

Back in and Marty grabs a headlock takeover before working on the arm. Jannetty throws him outside for a change and gets posted for being such a cheater. A sunset flip gives Jannetty two back inside but cue the Quebecers as we take a break. Back with the Quebecers having been ejected following a double stomping of Jannetty during the break. IRS grabs the abdominal stretch with one arm and the rope with the other as Booger now wants hot dogs and hamburgers.

With that broken up, we hit the chinlock for a bit as Vince and Booger thankfully run out of food jokes. Jannetty fights up but here is Johnny Polo for a distraction as a faceplant looks to finish IRS. Cue Razor Ramon to cancel out Polo so the Quebecers come out as well. A sleeper has IRS in more trouble but Polo breaks up a slingshot and IRS steals the pin.

Rating: C-. This is a match that should have been better as you had two talented stars in there but Jannetty wasn’t exactly looking lively. I’m sure I couldn’t imagine why that was the case but it didn’t exactly work well. IRS was his usual slow paced self which works well if you have someone more high energy to work off of him. Jannetty is capable of doing that but it wasn’t happening this time.

Post match the Quebecers and Razor get inside for the brawl but Jannetty makes the save, likely setting up a pretty good tag match.

Yep, in two weeks (no show next week due to the annual Dog Show), Razor and Jannetty get a Tag Team Title shot against the Quebecers. Booger eats hot dogs as a result.

Thurman Plugg vs. Duane Gill

Plugg starts fast with a snap suplex as Booger chokes on a hot dog. Gill gets knocked into the corner and kicked in the ribs, setting up a powerslam. Vince switches his mind and says that the Tag Team Title match MIGHT take place in two weeks as Plugg hits another suplex. The Overhead Cam (top rope knee) finishes Gill off.

Rating: C-. What do you say about a guy named Thurman Plugg who is occasionally called Sparky? It’s one of the all time lame gimmicks and there isn’t much that anyone could do with the thing. Having a race car driver as a wrestling occupation is fine, but what is he supposed to do with that stupid name?

It’s the Wrestlemania Report so we start with the “historic” coin toss that determined Lex Luger gets to face Yokozuna first at Wrestlemania. Bret Hart will get a shot at the winner, whether he beats Owen Hart in his own first match or not. As screwy as this is, I’ll take it over what would be a triple threat today.

Jim Cornette rants about Yokozuna having to face Lex Luger because he already got his chance.

Also at Wrestlemania: Crush vs. Randy Savage in a weird falls count anywhere/Last Man Standing hybrid that was memorable but didn’t really work.

Crush vs. Thornberg

Crush hits a headbutt to start before snapping him down into a Fujiwara armbar. Vince talks about FOX offering Diane Sawyer $10 million for….well something I guess. More pounding ensues as Booger wants to get to the Madison Square Garden concession stands. A gorilla press into a legdrop of all things gives Crush the easy win.

The Tag Team Title match is on in two weeks.

Johnny Polo and the Quebecers aren’t happy.

Since the Dog Show is in two weeks, Booger eats some dog treats.

Men On A Mission, the Bushwhackers, Doink and Dink all bark to end the show. Thank goodness.

Overall Rating: D. This was brought WAY down by the commentary, as the joke got old in about four minutes. On top of that, it’s too early to really get the meat of Wrestlemania set. There are pieces of it set up, but they are too far out for that to matter. The highlight of the show was a pretty lame Marty Jannetty match and that should tell you all you need to know about this week.

 

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