Summerslam 2006
Date: August 20, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 16,168
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re finally here and just like all the other times I’ve seen this show, it still doesn’t feel all that big. Nothing on the card really stands out above the rest as some major match, but instead we are getting a bunch of important matches at once. That isn’t a bad thing, but it did make for kind of an odd setup. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the history of the show….and then the DX logo pops up as we talk about DX vs. the McMahons, followed by everything else.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

They’re fighting over Eddie Guerrero’s memory, so we look at both videos from Smackdown, focusing on both of their relationships with them. So yes, it does come off as a pay per view match based on people arguing over who was Eddie’s real best friend. This is also Chavo’s return from retirement, despite the fact that he was on almost every TV show since retiring. Rey hammers away to start fast as JBL goes on a rant about the Guerrero family as only he can.

Chavo tries a shoulder breaker but gets sent outside, where he manages to avoid Rey’s dive. Chavo’s dive connects and it’s time to choke away back in to the corner. Rey comes back out of another corner and kicks away at the leg, only to be sent head first into the buckle. The fans chant for Eddie as Rey is knocked outside but comes back up top, right next to Chavo. They both hit a big facebuster back to the mat and it’s a bit of a breather. Rey is back up with a kick to the head and there’s the 619.

Chavo counters the seated senton though, meaning Rey has to hurricanrana him over the top for a double crash to the floor. Cue Vickie Guerrero to yell at Chavo and slap him in the face. Rey takes him down with a dive and they head back inside to exchange Three Amigos each. It’s Rey going up top but Vickie crotches him down, allowing Chavo to hit a brainbuster. The frog splash finishes Rey off.

Rating: C+. The match was good, as you would expect from these two, but egads the battle of these two over Eddie’s memory was hard to watch. I know it’s the logical way to go, but at the same time it feels like it’s being designed to set up some big Eddie return, which doesn’t seem that likely. I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of these two together and hopefully that does not include hearing Eddie’s name every fourth word.

Queen Sharmell and King Booker are ready to face Batista but here are Edge and Lita to interrupt. They argue over who is the most powerful couple, with Booker calling him a squire. The champs make a bet: if Edge loses his title, he has to kiss Booker’s feet but if Booker loses his title, Booker he has to be Edge’s servant. I’m still not sure if these champion vs. champion scenes matter quite as much as WWE thinks they do.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Sabu

Big Show is defending under ECW Rules. Sabu chairs him down to start and hits a quick Arabian facebuster for two. Show isn’t having that and knocks both Sabu and the chair down. The bearhug goes on for a few seconds, followed by a fall away slam to send Sabu flying. Sabu finds another chair though and knocks Show silly, followed by a top rope chair shot to do it again. It’s table time, but first Sabu hits a top rope bulldog. Sabu drives him through the table in the corner but Show is right back up to run him over.

A Vader Bomb connects, with Sabu rolling outside as Show grabs the steps. Two sets of steps are thrown in and a table is bridged between them. Sabu uses the breather to climb onto the table, which falls down, then reset it and DDT show through it for….well nothing as he doesn’t bother to cover. Instead, Sabu sets up another table and is quickly chokeslammed through it to retain Show’s title.

Rating: C. They did what they had to do well enough here, as they didn’t stay out there too long and had Sabu use all of his weapons to cover up all of the issues. I’m not sure how much of a doubt there was about who was leaving as champion, but now I’m curious to see who is next for Sabu. This could have been much worse so I’ll call that a win.

We look at Layla winning the Diva Search.

Layla comes into the locker room where some of the women brag about her cover on a magazine. Trish Stratus goes on a rant about what everyone else had to do to get here. But it’s ok because Layla is one of them now. Then they take her into the shower and soak her for her initiation. I know the idea of a bunch of Divas in the shower is a simple concept, but it loses its steam when they are in their usual clothes.

We recap Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Orton. Legend meets Legend Killer, who was also hitting on the Legend’s daughter.

Randy Orton vs. Hulk Hogan

They lock up to start with Hogan shoving him down to hit the posing. Orton has some more luck with a headlock, but he gets shoved away again without much effort. Hogan powers out of another headlock and shoves Orton down again but this time Orton gets in a cheap shot and stomps away. You don’t try to ram him into the buckle though as Hogan blocks the shot and hammers away in the corner, as only he can. A thumb to the eye and more right hands set up a clothesline to keep Orton in trouble.

There are the back rakes as JR talks about Hogan’s heeling days in the AWA. Orton bails to the floor where he grabs Hogan’s knee and rams it into the apron. Back in and the circle stomp keeps Hogan in trouble but he ducks the high crossbody. The big boot misses though and Orton nails the dropkick. The RKO connects for three but Hogan’s foot is on the rope just in time. There’s the Hulk Up and the big boot into the legdrop finishes Orton.

Rating: D+. I’m always going to be a Hulkamaniac but what in the world was this? Hogan comes in, shrugs off almost everything Orton has, and wins in about eleven minutes? It’s a feel good moment and such but this serves Hogan and Hogan only, which makes me think he probably had a lot to do with the decision. Orton could have used this win and while it won’t destroy him, the loss doesn’t exactly feel like the smartest move. The match wasn’t even that good, as Hogan dominated for the first half, got beaten down for a bit and then went to the finish with some pretty limited drama.

Posing ensues post match.

Melina gives Mick Foley a pep talk but Mick is worried about the kind of mood Flair is in. She also doesn’t want Foley to lose and damage her reputation as the manager of champions. Foley is fired up too though and seems ready to go.

Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair

I Quit match so Foley brings in a trashcan full of weapons. Foley starts fast and hits the running knee in the corner. The Mandible Claw goes on about a minute in but Foley lets go to ask Flair if he quits. Since Flair can’t speak at the moment, Foley puts barbed wire around Mr. Socko, allowing Flair to grab him low. Flair puts on the barbed wire Socko and chops him out to the floor.

There’s the big whip into the steps but Foley grabs a barbed wire board to hack Flair up as well. The fans sound like they want fire as Foley chokes with a boot. There’s another barbed wire board shot to the face and then one to Flair’s back but he still won’t quit. Flair is COVERED in blood and Foley pouring out the thumbtacks isn’t going to make it better. Foley slams him onto the tacks but Flair still won’t quit, so let’s bring in a barbed wire baseball bat.

Thankfully Flair gets in a low blow and sends Foley shoulder first into the post. Flair hits Foley’s arm with the bat but Foley won’t quit, even with threats of Flair killing him. A big shot knocks Foley off the apron and into the Nestea Plunge, onto a trashcan for a cushion. The trainer comes out to say Foley can’t continue but Flair isn’t having that. Instead he throws Foley back inside, sending him right through the thumbtacks.

Flair goes for the eyes with the barbed wire bat as Melina is out here begging for mercy. The bat is driven into Foley’s face so Melina throws in the towel to quit for him. Flair kicks Foley low and demands that Foley be the one to quit. With nothing else working, Flair grabs the bat and goes for Melina, which is enough for Foley to quit.

Rating: B-. This one is likely going to have a lot of different opinions, but the biggest problem is that I didn’t exactly enjoy the match. Above all else, it was too violent (and yes I know that was the point) for and there was so much blood between two people who probably shouldn’t be doing this to themselves anymore. Then there is the Melina thing which is a real life friendship, but it came out of almost nowhere on WWE TV. I get why Foley quit to save her, though it isn’t like some big epic moment or friendship between the two. They did what they were supposed to do, but it wasn’t something I could really enjoy.

Foley is COVERED in blood and can barely stand.

The McMahons are warming up with Armando Alejandro Estrada in their office. Estrada promises that Umaga will be there to hold them against DX.

Smackdown World Title: Booker T. vs. Batista

Booker is defending. They take turns shoving each other into the corner to start until Booker slaps him in the face. That earns him a big push down so Booker chops away. It doesn’t exactly work though as Booker grabs a Stunner over the to rope and nails a hot shot to keep Batista down.

We hit the chinlock for a bit, with Batista fighting up for a belly to belly. They head outside, where Sharmell slips Booker the scepter to hit Batista in the face. Booker takes him back inside to crank on the arm and then switches back to the chinlock. The fans talk about a certain disease they claim Sharmell has as Batista fights up to crotch Booker on the top.

It’s back to the floor with Batista being distracted by Sharmell and sent into the steps. The Book End gives Booker two but the ax kick misses, setting up a Jackhammer for two on the champ. The Batista Bomb is loaded up but Sharmell comes in for the DQ. You can’t even say it was a long match for that lame of an ending.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure if you can call this a clash of styles but they didn’t have much of a flow to the match and the ending was even worse. This will set up a rematch on the next pay per view but I’m not sure I want to see it again. The match wasn’t the worst but it isn’t the kind of match I want to see again. If nothing else, you would think the World Title match would get more than eleven minutes but it doesn’t even hit that, leaving this feeling like a match that they had because it was required instead of something they wanted to feature.

Post match Batista wrecks Booker again to set up the rematch.

DX is talking to someone in the men’s locker room. They seem to have backup.

We recap D-Generation X vs. the McMahon, DX has tormented Vince and Shane for months now so now the McMahons (and their band of mercenaries, meaning Umaga and the Spirit Squad) are dealing with this here.

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. D-Generation X

DX does their usual intro and we’re ready to go. Actually hold on as the McMahons stay on the stage and send out the Spirit Squad. DX dispatches them in a hurry so here are Mr. Kennedy, Finlay and William Regal, who are beaten up after just a bit more time. Now it’s Big Show to take Shawn out while the other three beat up HHH on the floor. HHH gets put through the announcers’ table and NOW the McMahons are willing to head to the ring.

Vince slams Shawn down as we officially start, setting up Shane with the jabs. The bosses take turns beating Shawn down, though Shane is smart enough to hit the floor and stomp HHH down. A double suplex sets up a Paisan elbow and Shane takes HHH down again. There’s a Demolition Decapitator (JR: “They think they’re Demolition.”) into a Hart Attack into a Doomsday Device for two on Shawn, with Shane being stunned.

Shawn fights up and hits a double clothesline, allowing the hot tag to HHH. House is cleaned in a hurry and Shawn beats Shane up on the floor. Cue Umaga though and Shawn gets taken out, leaving the McMahons to beat on HHH. With Umaga ready to wreck DX even more, cue Kane to fight him to the back. HHH is down in the corner as Shane loads up Coast To Coast but Shawn is back up to superkick it out of the air. Sweet Chin Music into the Pedigree finishes Vince.

Rating: ;C-. It was another nicely done story with the execution lacking. As has been the case for the entire feud so far, DX never felt like they were in trouble. Having the army there helped a good bit and DX was at least down here, but we are reaching kind of a goofy point where you can only throw so many people before it stops mattering. An army of midcarders is a big update over the Spirit Squad though so it’s a step forward, but the match, again, wasn’t much to see.

A lot of celebrating ensues, with a trainer checking on Shawn.

We recap John Cena vs. Edge for Edge’s Raw World Title. Edge cashed in Money in the Bank to win the title at New Year’s Revolution but then Cena took it back at the Royal Rumble a few weeks later Then Rob Van Dam took the title and Edge got it back, with Cena giving chase. Edge slapped Cena’s father on Raw, so you know it’s personal.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Edge, with Lita, is defending and loses the title if he is disqualified. Cena wastes no time in shoving Edge hard into the corner to begin the destruction. The referee has to cut things off and Cena misses a charge into the post. That means Edge can hammer away and send Cena outside for a nine count. A spinwheel kick gives Edge two but Cena’s release fisherman’s suplex gets the same. Cena gets tossed over the top and out to the floor for a breather.

Back in and Cena misses a crossbody and we hit the chinlock. Cena eventually powers out so Edge boots him in the face for two. Edge heads up top and gets crotched, though he is fine enough to shove Cena down and score with a top rope clothesline for two. The camel clutch goes on until Cena fights up with a slam for the double knockdown. It’s Cena back up with the Throwback and it’s time to pick up the pace.

Lita throws in a chair because she forgot the rules but Cena gets rid of it just as fast. Cena fires off his clotheslines but Edge cuts him off for two. Cena’s victory roll gets two so Lita gets on the apron, only to get knocked down again. A double clothesline gives us a double knockdown until Edge is up with the Edge-O-Matic for two.

The spear is loaded up but Cena counters into the STFU. Edge grabs the rope, allowing Lita to slip him some brass knuckles. Cena doesn’t mind and loads up the FU, which draws Lita in. Again, that’s fine with Cena who puts them on his shoulders at the same time. Lita gets flipped down but Edge slips out and uses the knuckles to the back of the head to pin Cena and retain.

Rating: B. It’s the best match of the show, but that isn’t exactly clearing a high bar. They were starting to feel things at the end before the screwy finish but at least Edge got a pin instead of having Lita come in for the DQ. Cena was starting to have the Superman vibe here as he was fired up and unstoppable, which makes the ending seem a little more impressive. They did well here, though the mic work is still the high point of the feud.

Edge and Lita celebrate as Cena wakes up to stare down down and end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I’m not sure if it’s the lack of one match standing above the rest or the lack of anything really changing but I still don’t care for this show all that much. It also doesn’t help that nothing really jumps off the page as far as quality, leaving this to be a not exactly memorable show. This felt like they were gearing up for their next brand exclusive shows. That is a way to go, but then why should I want to watch this? The show does feel big, but nothing happens here and that leaves you with no real reason to watch it, which isn’t exactly what you expect from a show usually this important.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: December 11, 2007
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Tazz, Joey Styles

It’s the go home show for Armageddon and for once that means we have four ECW wrestlers on the show. Granted it is for a tag match rather than two singles match but I guess this is progress. CM Punk and Kane are probably going to have to deal with Big Daddy V and Mark Henry this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

CM Punk/Kane vs. Deuce N Domino

Cherry is here too. Punk kicks away at Domino to start so it’s off to Kane for two off an elbow. The running knee in the corner into the running bulldog gives Punk two but Domino gets in his own knee to take over. Deuce hammers away and Punk gets bent over Domino’s knee. Punk low bridges Domino to the floor though and it’s back to Kane to clean house. The top rope clothesline drops Domino and it’s the chokeslam (as Punk hits the GTS on Deuce) for the easy pin.

Rating: C. This was just a warmup match for Punk and Kane and that’s all it needed to be, as they beat up a team who has the slightest bit of credibility left. I know Deuce N Domino might not have had a gimmick with the longest legs but they could have been around a bit longer than they were. Then again, it isn’t like the tag division has ever meant much of anything around here so their downward spiral shouldn’t be that big of a surprise.

Shelton Benjamin talks to us about gold, with people back in 1849 digging as much gold as they could. Those people only found fool’s gold though, while he gathers gold. Benjamin has won more than a few titles around here, and now he’s here in ECW and “there’s gold in them there hills.” He is going to grab his pick and shovel and dig and dig and dig because he is the new Gold Standard. That was about as bad of a promo as it could have been and I’d like to believe that Benjamin got a raise for trying to make it work.

John Morrison/The Miz vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

Non-title. Miz knocks Moore down to start and some left hands knock him up against the ropes. Moore manages a quick swinging neckbreaker and it’s off to Yang for a dropkick. Morrison comes in and gets his legs swept out, allowing Moore to come back in and work on the arm. A double suplex gets two on Morrison so he and Miz bail to the floor, where stereo Asai moonsaults drop them again.

We take a break and come back with Morrison chinlocking Yang, who suplexes his way to freedom. Moore comes back in but gets slammed down for a crash. Miz’s chinlock doesn’t last long so it’s a double belly to back faceplant to put Moore down again. Moore backdrops Morrison down though and the diving tag brings Yang back in to clean house. The moonsault misses so Morrison rolls Yang up with his feet on the ropes but Moore makes the save. Yang rolls Morrison up for two but the flipping neckbreaker is enough to give Morrison the pin.

Rating: C+. Well that was about a mile better than it had any right to be as Moore and Yang were making the most out of the TV time that they had. These guys were working hard and they had a far better match than I would have bet on them pulling off. Yang and Moore aren’t going to be the next big thing, but at least they had a chance to do something here. Pretty sweet match while it lasted.

We go to a beach where a muscular guy is kicking sand on a less muscular guy. A bystander doesn’t thing much of this and buries the bully in the sand. The bystander says that sometimes there is trouble in paradise. His name is Kofi Kingston, and he’s coming soon.

Layla/Victoria vs. Kelly Kelly

As we continue Miz tormenting Kelly for daring to date Balls Mahoney. Kelly tries to start fast but gets forearmed down by Victoria. A headscissors sends Victoria into the corner but she runs Kelly over without much trouble. Layla comes in to stomp away and put on an armbar before Victoria lifts her up for a splash, ala Edge with Sable at Summerslam 1998. Back up and Kelly sends them into each other but Victoria is done with lowering herself to this and hits a faceplant. A spinning kick to the head gives Layla the pin.

Rating: D+. Well they kept it short, and that’s about as good as something like this is going to be. The match wasn’t much of anything because Layla and Kelly aren’t exactly good in the ring and there is only so much Victoria can do. I can appreciate them trying to do something new though, as it isn’t like anything else is working.

Matt Striker is really happy with the idea of Mark Henry and Big Daddy V. hurting Kane and CM Punk. I think V wants to eat them.

Raw Rebound.

Armageddon rundown.

Elijah Burke vs. Batista

Non-title. Before the match, Burke goes on a rant about how this is his yard and he is the new face of extreme. Batista isn’t wasting time here and runs Burke over to send him outside. Burke manages a posting and sends him back inside to stomp away, setting up a short DDT for two. An STO gets the same but Batista fights out of a chinlock and hits the spinebuster. Burke manages to knock him into the corner and tries the Elijah Express but gets speared (more like a running headbutt to the gut) out of the air. The Batista Bomb is good for the pin.

Rating: C. This wasn’t exactly a match designed to be a major test for Batista but rather a way to get him on TV here. In other words, it felt like one of those matches from the very early days of ECW where a guest star would pop up for no reason other than stirring some interest. It helps that Burke isn’t going to be hurt by the loss so this was just a simple main event with a big name.

Overall Rating: C. That tag match alone was enough to make this an ok show and the Batista appearance helped as well. I like the whole mini merge between ECW and Smackdown, as ECW couldn’t do it on their own and Smackdown gets to focus on some different people on its own show. Not a blow away week here, but they’re getting some variety and that’s a great thing to see after so many similar weeks.

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Summerslam 2005
Date: August 21, 2005
Location: MCI Center, Washington DC.
Attendance: 18,156
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

It’s a big show here with a card that doesn’t quite live up to the hype. We have a huge main event between Hulk Hogan and Shawn Michaels, but after that it’s kind of a downgrade with Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero with a kid (symbolically) above the ring. The World Title matches see John Cena defending against Chris Jericho and JBL challenging Batista in a No Holds Barred match. Maybe they can make it work though so let’s get to it.

Lilian Garcia sings the Star Spangled Banner.

The opening video looks at the big matches, which works a bit better. Granted that might be because it’s set to Remedy by Seether and I always liked that song. Shawn vs. Hogan gets its own section of the video, because nothing on this show comes close to it (fair enough).

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan is defending and it’s a German suplex into the Crossface to make Benoit champion in 25 seconds. Now THAT is how you wake a crowd up while giving Jordan exactly what he deserved in Honky Tonk Man style.

Vickie Guerrero comes in to see Eddie and asks him to calm down. This isn’t about Dominic because it’s all about Eddie not being able to beat Rey. Eddie wants someone to carry on the Guerrero legacy and Vickie talks about him having a heart of gold. But there’s also an evil inside of him that won’t leave Rey alone. Eddie: “So now you don’t think I can beat Rey?” Eddie throws her out and reassures himself that he’ll win.

We recap Matt Hardy vs. Edge. Lita left Matt for Edge while Matt was hurt and then he was released. Matt invaded Raw a few times to get at Edge but then he was rehired and it was just Matt Hardy again. Tonight is the big fight.

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

Hardy runs to the ring and starts the fight on the floor as it feels like Matt wants to kill him. They get inside with Matt hammering away and a loud HARDY chant. Matt grabs a rear naked choke but Edge gets to the ropes and then back outside. Back in and Edge hits a headbutt to put Matt on the ropes as the fans are all over Lita.

A spear through the ropes puts them back on the floor but Matt hammers away with right hands to the head. More right hands in the corner have Edge in trouble so he drops Matt face first onto the post to knock him silly. Even Lita looks concerned as Matt is busted open. Matt can barely stand so Edge kicks him in the head….and the referee stops it.

Rating: D+. So yeah Matt comes back, gets in a few shots, and then gets busted open for a referee stoppage in five minutes. The first minute or so felt like a war but then it was little more than a hard hitting match with one big spot. This is the kind of thing that needed to go about eighteen minutes with both of them bleeding, but that would suggest that Matt was something important, rather than just a way to get Edge over. I can go with that as Matt is Matt and Edge has been a near main eventer for a long time now, but this was a major disappointment after the setup.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Eddie can’t beat Rey and has been driven completely crazy over jealousy and his failures. Therefore, Eddie is going to try something else so he brought up that Rey’s son Dominic was really Eddie’s biological son. Eddie wanted Dominic, but a social worker said they had to settle this, so a ladder match was made instead.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

Tony Chimel: “The following contest is a ladder match for the custody of Dominic!” And that’s your most ridiculous ring introduction of all time. Dominic and the social worker are in the front row so Eddie goes over to them for a rather evil smile. Rey comes out and hugs Dominic so Eddie goes over and shakes the social worker’s hand. We’re ready to go and Eddie talks a lot of trash as they stare each other down to start.

Eddie gets in a cheap shot to knock Rey into the corner but Rey monkey flips him out to the floor. A whip sends Rey into the ladder though and he has to springboard in with a dropkick to knock Eddie off. Eddie goes to get another ladder so Rey dropkicks that one into his face, followed by a springboard seated senton to the floor. Back in and Eddie saves Rey’s climb with a sunset bomb but he can’t hold on, making it look rather messy. Eh to be fair that’s a pretty tricky spot.

Eddie hits him in the ribs and face with the ladder before sandwiching Rey between some ladders. The fans know what’s coming and are rather pleased with the slingshot hilo onto a ladder onto Rey onto another ladder. Rey gets up and uses a ladder to bridge his way up top to cut Eddie off, including a backdrop onto the bridged ladder. The crash bangs up Rey’s knee so he climbs rather slowly, allowing Eddie to dropkick the ladder out and hurt the knee even more.

Eddie reverse powerbombs him ribs first into the ladder on the top rope and there’s that evil smile again. That’s enough for another climb but Dominic comes in to shake the ladder. That just annoys Eddie so he yells at Dominic and demands a hug. Eddie: “I’m your new daddy now!” Eddie goes to hit him but Rey makes the save as Dominic is back with the social worker who let him jump the barricade and interfere in a violent match.

Rey sends him into a ladder and then 619s said ladder into Eddie’s face, only to hurt the knee again. The knee is ok enough to Drop The Dime onto a ladder onto Eddie and then load up the ladder again. Eddie climbs up the same side for an electric chair but Rey shows him how to do the sunset bomb for the huge crash. Rey goes up again and grabs the case but Eddie kicks the ladder out and pulls Rey down into a big spinebuster.

With Rey pinned under the ladder, Eddie goes up but stops to talk a lot of trash. He can’t unhook the thing anyway, allowing Rey to wiggle free and kick the ladder over. Apparently Vickie was supposed to run in there and missed the cue, explaining why Eddie couldn’t understand how a hook worked. Eddie is back up with Three Amigos, including the third onto the ladder. That means another climb but this time Vickie comes out for the save as she shoves the ladder over. Vickie pulls Eddie back so Rey can climb p and win.

Rating: B. It’s rather good with some big crashes, but the Vickie/Dominic stuff was too much and brought the match down. Rey vs. Eddie is something you can watch all day, especially if Eddie is all evil, but they could have come up with something better than a ladder match for custody papers. It was too far and became dumb rather than dramatic, which defeats a lot of the purpose.

Post match Vickie is relieved and Rey hits Eddie with a briefcase for a bonus.

Chris Jericho doesn’t like John Cena’s theme music and promises to make him as forgettable as the New Kids On The Block. He beat the Rock and Steve Austin on the same night and Cena isn’t on their level.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

For Eugene’s (Or Angle’s?) Gold Medal with no time limit and Christy Hemme is here with Eugene. Angle goes off on him to start and stomps Eugene down into the corner. Eugene comes back with a Faarooq spinebuster but Angle breaks up the People’s Elbow attempt with a hard clothesline. The fans are very pleased with this as they don’t seem all that into Eugene here.

Angle rolls the German suplexes for two and the fans are happy again. Eugene gets sent into the buckle a few times so the comeback is on, including a Rock Bottom for two. The Stunner gets the same and Eugene takes down the non-existent straps. Angle reverses the ankle lock by rolling him into the corner though and it’s the Angle Slam into the ankle lock for the win.

Rating: D. This could have been on Raw as Eugene was completely overwhelmed. The charm is long past gone now and it’s just Eugene doing Austin and Rock moves with almost nothing in between. It was just a squash anyway as Eugene is treated like the glorified jobber that he is. Angle needs to move on to something else and Eugene needs to become something else entirely.

Post match Angle stands on a chair so he can be awarded the medal again.

The Divas, in swimsuits, wash a limo with the Presidential seal on the door. The window goes down to reveal Vince McMahon. Vince: “Hey, why not?” There’s a McMahon For President bumper sticker on the limo for a bonus.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Rematch from Wrestlemania because Orton isn’t happy with his loss. It’s weird to see Undertaker come out first. Orton bails to the floor to start so Undertaker takes a second before shoving him down. A slap gets in Orton’s head a bit but he’s back up to dodge some right hands. Undertaker grabs a headlock (that’s a rare one) but Orton is right back with a hiptoss into a clothesline. That just earns him a big boot to the face and Orton is stunned in a hurry.

Undertaker goes technical with a keylock into Old School but Orton somehow understands what it means when Undertaker stands on the top while holding an arm. Old School is broken up with an armdrag back down but Undertaker LAUNCHES him into the corner to hammer away. The big boot and jumping clothesline give Undertaker two but the big boot in the corner only hits….well corner really and Orton grabs a DDT for his own two with Undertaker putting a foot across the rope.

Flashing back to his Evolution days, Orton cannonballs down onto the leg and then wraps it around the post. The leglock goes on so Undertaker punches his way to freedom, only to earn a knee drop to the ribs. Undertaker limps into the powerslam for two and it’s time to go to Texas with a spinning toehold.

That’s broken up as well and Undertaker starts kicking at Orton’s knee, earning a one off BORING chant. That doesn’t last long either as Orton is right back to the knee as the slow pace continues. Undertaker kicks him out to the floor for a ram into the steps and the apron legdrop as this isn’t exactly hitting a high gear. Old School connects back inside and it’s the Downward Spiral to Orton, who is right back with a dropkick for the double knockdown.

The RKO is blocked so they fight over a Tombstone until Orton gets two off the backbreaker. Orton goes up but Undertaker rolls through the high crossbody and grabs him by the throat. The chokeslam connects but a “fan” comes in. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. It was a struggle to get this high as there was no sense of urgency or any time until the end where either of them seemed close to going to a finish. At least the Wrestlemania match had an awesome near fall of the RKO but this was a bunch of leg work until they got to the finish. It could have worked if they had gone to a better ending but this never got into a higher gear.

And it’s Cowboy Bob Orton. You can book the rubber match already.

Some members of the Republican National Committee are here.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. John Cena. They’ve been having issues since Cena made his Raw debut on the Highlight Reel. Then they got in an argument over who was the bigger rock star, which turned into Cena’s Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff’s Vince McMahon with Jericho and Carlito as the chief lackeys. The former story was better but why do that when you can do the same thing you’ve done so many times before?

Bischoff wishes Jericho’s luck.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Cena is defending. They go nose to nose to start and a lockup doesn’t go anywhere. Jericho’s headlock is just as ineffective but he grabs a suplex to take over. There’s the spinwheel kick to drop Cena again but the springboard crossbody only lands on the floor. Back in and Cena hammers away, only to charge into a dropkick in the corner. A suplex gives Jericho two and a basement dropkick to the headsets up the chinlock.

They go outside with Jericho choking away with a cord but Cena is back with right hands. This isn’t exactly blowing the roof off the place so far. The big flying shoulder misses though and Jericho hits the running bulldog. Jericho has to bail out of the Lionsault so he tries the Walls, which is kicked out to the floor in a hurry. Cena drops the middle rope Fameasser over the ropes for two on the way back in but the FU is countered into a DDT for two. It’s time to start in on the back with a backbreaker and some elbows as the fans are loudly split.

The running crotch attack to the back only hits ropes though and they’re both down again. Cena is back up with that hard clothesline into the ProtoBomb. The Shuffle is countered into the Walls in the middle though, sending Cena on the long crawl to the ropes. Jericho pulls him back in but Cena makes the rope on the second attempt to a rather loud reaction. Cena’s back is good enough to try a super AA but Jericho slips out and grabs another suplex for another two. An argument with the referee lets Cena grab the FU to retain.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but they drew the crowd into it and it turned into a heck of a match by the end. Cena is showing some signs of brilliance in these big matches and Jericho has more than shown that he can hang with anyone so this was a benefit to both of them. Good match here as Cena is becoming a bigger and bigger star every single week.

We recap JBL vs. Batista (hometown boy) for the Smackdown World Title. JBL beat him by DQ last month so now it’s No Holds Barred. Not much more to it than that as JBL isn’t quite the believable challenger.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Batista is defending and it’s No Holds Barred. We get the JBL dollars raining from the ceiling during JBL’s entrance. The fight starts at the entrance with Batista ramming him into various things. A fire extinguisher into the face drops Batista though and JBL punches him around the barricade, only to have Batista spear him through said barricade.

They get inside for the first time with JBL kicking him in the head, followed by some whipping with a belt. Back up and Batista charges into a boot in the corner, setting up the Clothesline From JBL for two. JBL slides in the steps and this isn’t going to end well. The powerbomb off the steps is countered into a backdrop off of them and Batista hits the spinebuster. There’s the Batista Bomb but Batista doesn’t cover. Another Batista Bomb onto the steps retains the title.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but it was way better than their previous match as it didn’t go on forever, though the stipulation wasn’t exactly used. They went with the definitive ending here as Batista completely beat him, which is all it should have been. JBL was never a threat to Batista and now they can both move on to something else, with both of them going in the proper direction.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Hulk Hogan. They teamed a handful of times and then Shawn superkicked him on the Fourth of July. Shawn said he had to know and the match was made. Everything went spiraling out of control after that though, with Shawn turning it into a weird near shoot on Hogan’s career while Hogan just referenced Bret Hart and screwjobs a few times. Shawn has carried this feud on his back and it’s going to be interesting to see how they get to the big boot and legdrop.

Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels

Hogan has the big flag out for the entrance. It’s a long staredown to start before Hogan shoves him away and shows off the biceps. Hogan shoves him down a few more times and Shawn is already frustrated. A headlock works a bit better for Shawn until a shoulder sends him into a backflip through the ropes as the overselling is already strong. Back in and Shawn knees him in the ribs but gets put on top so Hogan can kick him in the ribs.

Shawn bounces as high into the air as he can for a crotching, before a ram into the buckle gives us a bump that Mr. Perfect would think is too much. A clothesline puts Shawn on the floor where he rolls backwards again, gets up and falls back down. Shawn manages a kick to the face though and starts chopping away in the corner. The slap to the face does not go well so Shawn does it again before chopping even more. A third slap earns Shawn a right hand out to the floor but they both get posted with Hogan staggering around a lot.

Shawn posts him again but still can’t put Hogan down so it’s time for some left hands to the head. Some right hands in the corner get Shawn shoved down again (make it twice), only to have him finally punch Hogan down (you don’t see that too often). Hogan is finally busted open and Shawn grabs the sleeper to follow the Randy Savage formula from Wrestlemania V. Shawn’s arm is covered in blood as Hogan suplexes his way to freedom.

The forearm into the nipup lets Shawn drop the elbow (OH YEAH indeed) but this one misses (leave it to Savage kid). Hogan slugs away but Shawn tries another forearm, which takes out the referee. The fans want Bret (fair enough after the promos building this up) but Shawn is up first and heads to the top, only to come back down for a terrible Sharpshooter (even Rock’s is better than that).

Another referee comes in and Hogan very slowly makes it to the rope. Hogan kicks him into the second referee and everyone is down again. A low blow drops Hogan and a chair to the head finally lets Shawn hit the elbow. Sweet Chin Music connects for two but Hogan kicks out, Hulks Up, punches away and finishes with the big boot and legdrop. So that’s how they got there.

Rating: B-. The match was a weird one (YOU THINK?) as Shawn was doing his over the top selling and turning it into a joke at first but then it settled into a match with a pretty simple formula that hit the high points but didn’t exactly break the mold. Hogan was the definitive winner here and Shawn hit everything he could without being able to finish Hogan off. I liked it well enough and it’s certainly a dream match, but it’s two matches in one and that’s a little distracting.

Post match Hogan poses but Shawn stops him to make everything nice. Shawn says he had to know and, as usual, wrestlers are rather forgiving about the whole situation. It’s more posing to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was all over the place with some good wrestling and action but a lot of things that felt like they should have been so much more. It’s an enjoyable show and something I’d watch again down the line, but it felt like they were going for a stacked show and as it is, it’s just pretty good. Fix some of the bigger holes and it’s a great one, but I’ll take what I can get after a build that wasn’t their best work.

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Summerslam 2004
Date: August 15, 2004
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,640
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the second biggest show of the year and that could go multiple ways. Smackdown has been getting better as of late but it’s still not very good. Raw has had its moments, but with the second biggest match from the red show being HHH vs. Eugene, they’re working underneath a pretty low ceiling. Let’s get to it.

The theme is the Summer Games, giving us an Olympic themed opening. I’ve always liked these as they’re actually rather entertaining.

The opening video looks at the big matches, but Diva Dodgeball is in the middle, even before the Intercontinental Title and Smackdown World Title matches. I’m thinking no on that one.

Dudley Boys vs. Paul London/Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio

Spike recently joined his brothers and since there are no other teams on Smackdown, Kidman and London are still feuding with the Dudleys. Rey just walks out to his music, which takes a lot of the impact away. D-Von hammers on Kidman to start but gets armdragged down for his efforts. London comes in for an assisted moonsault and the dropkick gets two.

A rather hard clothesline takes London down and it’s off to Spike for some screaming stomps in the corner. Bubba comes in for the trash talking elbow drop and the villains start taking turns working on London. Straight right hands break up the comeback attempt but Bubba hits D-Von by mistake. Spike gets kicked away and that’s enough for the tag off to Mysterio.

The springboard legdrop gets two on Spike and a hurricanrana out of the corner makes things even worse. A reverse DDT plants D-Von and it’s back to Kidman for a top rope back elbow to Spike. Everything breaks down and a BK Bomb gets two on Spike. Bubba gets double dropkicked to the floor and Spike takes a Hart Attack of all things. The 619 sends Spike into the shooting star from Billy for two with D-Von making the save. Back in and Kidman walks into the 3D to give Spike the pin.

Rating: C. Well that was a dumb ending. You have Spike as Cruiserweight Champion and have him pin a Tag Team Champion to open one of the biggest shows of the year? You couldn’t have Rey pin D-Von here to let the fans feel good? This didn’t help anything other than building Spike up, which was done as well as it was going to be with the Cruiserweight Title win. Bad decision here, in a match that didn’t need to have this kind of a finish.

We recap Kane vs. Matt Hardy. Lita slept with Kane to get him to leave Matt alone, actually being stupid enough to believe it would work. As a result Lita is pregnant but still loves Matt. Therefore, she’s marrying the winner of this match. Somehow, not even the most bizarre stipulation in Summerslam history.

Kane vs. Matt Hardy

Matt goes straight at him to start and hits what I guess was a middle rope Side Effect for two. The middle rope legdrop to the back of the head gets the same and a weird looking tornado DDT (with Matt landing on his stomach) gets the third two. Kane finally hits a clothesline to take over but a Lita distraction lets Matt low bridge him to the floor.

The slingshot dive sets up a Twist of Fate for nine and probably the best chance Matt had. Lita throws in the bell and distracts the very stupid referee so Matt can clock Kane for two. Kane kicks him in the face and goes up but gets caught by Matt. That’s fine with Kane, who hits a super chokeslam for the pin and Lita’s hand.

Rating: D. Short and bad here, with Matt having less than no chance throughout. Matt has been destroyed and turned into an idiot this whole feud and Kane winning in the end was the only way it could go. Now just get to the wedding, which is destined to be the most entertaining part of this whole thing. The match was nothing that couldn’t have been done on Raw but with a nice looking ending. That’s also Matt’s last WWE match for about a year as he had a bad knee injury and was then released in April.

Randy Orton doesn’t want to hear about anyone being upset because tonight is a night for celebration. John Cena cuts him off and promises him some merch. He’s an Orton fan, but a quick fan poll seems to suggest that they don’t agree with him. And so it begins.

Booker T. vs. John Cena

Match #1 in a best of five series for Booker’s US Title. They slug it out to start with Cena hitting a clothesline for one. Cena gets in the Throwback for two so Booker crotches him on top to cut that off in a hurry. Booker throws in a You Can’t See Me and drops a knee for no cover. A jumping kick to the face cuts off Cena’s early comeback and it’s a camel clutch to keep things slow.

That’s broken up so Booker goes with a spinebuster and side slam to drop Cena again. The ax kick misses though and Cena hits his running clothesline out of the corner. That just earns him a flapjack into a Spinarooni but Cena hits a quick FU for the pin, ignoring Booker’s shoulder being way off the mat.

Rating: D+. That’s the third straight fast match here and that’s not a good thing on a show like this. They didn’t even have seven minutes here, which is the kind of match that could have been on Smackdown instead of wasting it on this show. Cena is likely losing the next two matches to put him in a hole which is fine, but I could have gone for a better start to this thing.

Eric Bischoff (“the head cracker in charge of Raw”) comes in to see Theodore Long and points out the revolving door to the Smackdown GM office. Bischoff advises him to enjoy it while it lasts but Teddy tells him to get to steppin.

Intercontinental Title: Batista vs. Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Hometown boy Edge is defending and Batista is on fire at the moment. Speaking of Batista, he knocks Edge off the apron during his entrance and we hit the Y2J chants early on. A hard elbow knocks Jericho down and a shoulder does it again. Edge comes back in with a chop block to break up the Batista Bomb though and it’s time for some Canadian violence on Batista. Snake Eyes gets Batista out of trouble but Jericho grabs his boot to slow him down a bit.

A clothesline puts Batista outside and leaves Edge alone in the ring….where he’s booed out of the building. Well that’s rather surprising. Batista gets sent face first into the steps and we’re down to Jericho vs. Edge in the ring. Edge gets the better of the fight but gets loudly booed when loading up the Edgecution. The Walls attempt gets a much better reaction, though Edge reversing into a small package isn’t as well received. Back up and Jericho pokes him in the eye, setting up the full Walls of Jericho.

The hold is pulled back into the middle until Batista finally makes a save with the clothesline. Edge takes Batista down with an Edgecution for two as Jericho is banged up on the floor. The spear is loaded up but for some reason Jericho cuts Edge down on the way to Batista. A spinebuster gives Batista two on Jericho but this time it’s Edge sending the big man outside. That gives us another battle of the Canadians and another loud Y2J chant. Batista gets dropkicked off the apron but the distraction lets Edge spear Jericho down to retain.

Rating: D+. The odd crowd reactions threw things off here, though they’re not quite as out there as you might think when you remember Edge teasing a heel turn as of late. Now that being said, you would think the hometown deal would be enough to overcome the recent cheating but that wasn’t the case here. On top of that, the match didn’t have a ton of heat and was a string of one on one matches instead of all three at once. Edge retaining is fine, though Batista is getting bigger and bigger every week.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle in a Wrestlemania rematch. Eddie cheated (kind of) to win at Wrestlemania in Angle’s last match for about five months. Angle is back now, though while he was on the shelf he cost Eddie the WWE Championship so Eddie is out for revenge and to prove that he can hang with Angle on an even playing field. This has been the best set up feud for the whole show and the match should be able to live up to the hype.

Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

Angle has Luther Reigns with him. Feeling out process to start as the odd fans are cheering for Angle here. Shockingly enough Angle is more than fine against Eddie on the mat so Eddie tries for the ankle. He’ll settle for a headlock instead so Angle reverses into a quick keylock. Eddie armdrags him straight into an armbar but it’s time to start the rolling German suplexes. That doesn’t work either as Eddie reverses the second into the ankle lock as the wrestling lesson continues. Angle reverses into the real thing but Eddie puts his own on at the same time. It doesn’t last long, though cool idea there.

A rope finally saves Eddie so Reigns gets in a cheap shot like a good lackey should do. That means another ankle lock before Angle finally switches gears a bit for something close to an STF. With Eddie down, Angle starts untying Eddie’s boot but the delay lets Eddie get in a kick to the face. It’s right back to Eddie’s ankle until Eddie gets in an Angle Slam of his own. Eddie makes his comeback with right hands but the ankle isn’t exactly sturdy.

It’s fine enough for the Three Amigos so Eddie goes up for the frog splash, only to get caught with the running belly to belly superplex. Angle’s Angle Slam is countered into a DDT and another frog splash attempt misses. The Angle Slam gets two so Angle rips the boot off to set up the ankle lock again.

The roll through sends Angle into the referee so Eddie hits Angle and Reigns with the boot. Of course Eddie throws the boot away and falls down instead of hitting a frog splash, which would have made more sense. Eddie hits the frog splash for two a few seconds later and yells at the referee on the kickout. That’s enough for Angle to pick the ankle and put on the grapevine to make Eddie tap.

Rating: C+. What exactly are they saving all the time for on this show? That’s the first match to break thirteen minutes and nothing else has even hit nine. There are three matches left on the card and nearly an hour and a half left in the show, but nothing has even hit fifteen minutes yet. Did Diva Dodgeball need the extra time?

Anyway, this wasn’t all that great as the first few minutes were looking like the start of a thirty minute classic but then they just jumped the stolen finishers (which is becoming a rather tired trope) and had Angle break the ankle down for the win. This was dying for another eight minutes of build towards the finish but for some reason this show has to go as fast as it can because of reasons.

We recap HHH vs. Eugene. HHH found out that Eugene was his favorite wrestler and agreed to use him to help get the World Title if HHH could eventually make Eugene want to quit. In other words, it was a story that was way more complicated than it needed to be and Eugene, who started off as a very fun, unique character has turned into the clueless putz that cost HHH the title. Therefore, HHH must destroy him to prove that he’s better than a mentally disabled person who doesn’t know how to wrestle but imitates wrestling he watched on TV as a kid. In the second biggest Raw match on Summerslam. Of course.

HHH vs. Eugene

No one is at ringside for a bit of a surprise. HHH wins an early slugout but Eugene elbows him in the face so it’s time head outside. That means a chance for HHH to hide behind Lilian Garcia, allowing him to take over again. It’s time to load up the announcers’ table but Eugene blocks a suplex to the floor. Some right hands in the corner set up a Flair Flop and HHH has a bad knee. Believe it or not, it’s a way for HHH to sucker Eugene in again and outsmart him for a cheap shot.

A backbreaker keeps Eugene in trouble as JR freaks out of the fake injury. He certainly must have loathed Bret Hart then. The fans think Eugene sucks so his comeback isn’t exactly well received. HHH offers a handshake but this time Eugene is ready for him and pulls it into a Rock Bottom. The People’s Elbow is countered with the spinebuster to a face pop as the trip into the bizarre continues. HHH chokes away and it’s back to the floor for a whip into the steps.

Back in and HHH slowly beats on him, setting up the sleeper because this match needed a sleeper. Eugene escapes and hits a backdrop, followed by a middle finger and the Stunner. That’s enough to send HHH outside for a breather though and here’s Ric Flair because HHH is actually in trouble. The big boot into the legdrop connects but Flair gets knocked off the apron. Eugene goes up top and dives into the Pedigree but spins out, setting up a Pedigree on HHH instead. Flair puts his foot on the rope so it’s just a two, earning an ejection. Cue William Regal to knock Flair cold with the brass knuckles as the Pedigree finishes Eugene.

Rating: D. Well thank goodness for that. After a few months of getting frustrated, the great and mighty HHH came back and beat the comedy act in a match at one of the biggest show of the year. All it cost Eugene was all of the good will he built up too, but at least HHH got the big win. This whole story was really stupid and a huge waste of time, which really doesn’t work when it boils down to HHH needing almost fifteen minutes to beat a comedy guy. It was just bad all around and didn’t help anyone other than HHH, who didn’t get that much out of it anyway.

And then, Diva Dodgeball with the Diva Search girls basically in swimsuits while the Raw women are in matching gear. Before the game starts, Coach tells us about some trash talk that happened after Raw went off the air. They proceed to play dodgeball, which is in no way shape or form an excuse to have good looking women in barely existing clothing running around. The Diva Search girls dominate and win. Trish yells about the refereeing and then blames Victoria, triggering a fight. This took up nearly six minutes, which is about seven minutes too long.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Undertaker

No recap for this one because the build hasn’t exactly been thrilling. JBL won the title earlier in the summer and needed an opponent so Undertaker showed up. For some reason JBL decided he wasn’t afraid of Undertaker and brought out a mini version, who Undertaker wound up beating up instead. Then JBL brought in Orlando Jordan as his Chief of Staff because he needed a designated lackey.

Undertaker knocks him to the floor early on and the beating begins, including JBL’s arm going into the steps. Back in and JBL hits a quick swinging neckbreaker before going up top for a good looking top rope shoulder. An armbar doesn’t get JBL anywhere so Undertaker pulls on the arm as well and hits Old School. Undertaker grabs an ugly triangle choke until Jordan pulls the foot under the rope.

With that not working, Undertaker hits a big boot to JBL but misses a running version in the corner to let JBL take out the knee. The leg is wrapped around the post and a Jordan distraction lets JBL smash the leg with a chair. Undertaker gets sent into the barricade so Jordan can get in a few shots before sending him inside. The fans start the Wave as the leg work continues.

The leglock goes on as JBL is smart enough to just throw on a hold and let the fans die down. It’s not exactly thrilling for the fans at home but it’s a smart idea here. Undertaker fights out and pulls JBL down into a quickly broken kneebar. They head outside again with Undertaker hitting the apron legdrop. The announcers start chanting for the Spanish table but JBL snaps the throat across the top for a breather. Again JBL takes too long going up though and it’s a superplex for two.

JBL goes right back to the knee with a spinning toehold of all things but Undertaker hits a sloppy release spinebuster for two more. The jumping clothesline puts JBL down again and Snake Eyes into…a running clothesline instead of the big boot gives Undertaker another two. The chokeslam gets a delayed near fall, which seems to shock the announcers. Who hasn’t kicked out of a chokeslam? Jordan gets up for a quick distraction and it’s the Clothesline From JBL to give the champ two of his own. The referee gets bumped though and it’s a double big boot for a double knockdown.

Jordan throws the belt in for a shot to the head and the very delayed near fall with Jordan grabbing the hand to slap the mat. Undertaker finally beats up Jordan but eats another Clothesline From JBL. With the referee still down, JBL rains down right hands in the corner which is only done to set up the Last Ride. Jordan is back in with the belt so Undertaker takes it away and hits JBL for the DQ.

Rating: D. The thing is, it’s not even the worst match in the world. It felt like it was straight out of the HHH/Ric Flair Greatest Hits playbook with Jordan being the worst Flair impersonator of all time. The leg work was fine and JBL still wasn’t horrible yet, but the ending was pretty lame with Jordan being pathetic and JBL’s finisher not being able to do much damage. It’s not so much horrible or even bad as much as it is uninteresting and uninspired, which made for a very long seventeen minutes.

Post match the beatdown continues with the bloody JBL being chokeslammed through the roof of the limo. JBL does a stretcher job, guaranteeing a rematch. Of note: at some point during the match, a fan tried to climb onto the limo and security kept him from not only, you know, climbing onto the limo but also breaking the roof and injuring himself/ruining the spot.

Cole shows us a replay and tells us to listen. There’s no sound.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging after winning a battle royal and pinning Benoit in a tag match. Here’s your exchange that would never happen today: Lawler: “Hey JR you got a camera on you?” JR, dripping with sarcasm: “Yeah right here in my pocket.” The fans are all over Earl Hebner with the YOU SCREWED BRET chants as they stare each other down at the bell. Benoit drives him into the corner and takes Orton down for a rather early chinlock. A test of strength goes to Orton but he misses a knee drop.

Benoit is right back with the armbar and armdrags him down into another armbar. That’s reversed as well with Orton grabbing a Sharpshooter of his own. Benoit slips out of that and tries a Crossface, sending Orton to the floor where he posts Benoit to really take over. A second posting keeps the champ down and Orton drapes him over the top rope for good measure.

Something like a DDT on the apron gets Benoit out of trouble but he misses a dive through the ropes, sending himself HARD into the barricade. Back in and Orton hits the over the shoulder neckbreaker for two, followed by the chinlock. Benoit fights up for stereo crossbodies but gets up first for a northern lights suplex. A release German suplex has Orton in more trouble and the Sharpshooter goes on.

That’s good for two arm drops until Orton makes the rope so they’re both exhausted. Some rolling German suplexes put Orton down again but he gets his feet up to block the Swan Dive (FREAKING OW MAN!). The cover is countered into a Crossface but Orton rolls out. Back up and Benoit tries it again but Orton spins him around into the RKO for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. It’s not a masterpiece but it was a good, long, well put together match with a completely clean ending that made Orton look like the better man. The new heel on top is long overdue and it’s nice to see Orton, who has gotten a lot better in a hurry, win the title here. Benoit’s title reign was very respectable and he beat HHH a few times, which is about as good as you’re going to get. It’s a rather good main event, though not exactly a classic.

Post match Benoit gets back in and shakes his hand, demanding that Orton be a man. Orton shakes his hand and Benoit leaves in peace, allowing Orton to pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is two different halves and it’s as noticeable as you’re ever going to see. The first four matches are all short and need more time while the remaining four, as in the big matches, either fail to live up to the hype or just aren’t very good in the first place. This show needed to be reshuffled a bit with some extra time being given to a few other matches. Stuff like Diva Dodgeball and the opener could have been cut to give the time to other matches. It would have done the show a lot of good, but there was only so much this show could do.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: December 7, 2007
Location: Civic Center, Florence, South, Carolina
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re almost up to Armageddon and the big story continues to be Edge joining forces with Vickie Guerrero, making them the top villains around here. Edge is set to face Batista and Undertaker in a triple threat at the pay per view and that should make for a heck of a show. The rest of the card could use some build as well though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the Vickie/Edge/Batista/Undertaker situation.

Opening sequence.

Here is Teddy Long, now the Assistant General Manager, to get things going with a State of Smackdown address. Teddy is happy to be back while Vickie Guerrero is out of action, which is why he made last week’s announcement. At Armageddon, it will be Edge and Undertaker challenging Batista for the World Title. Speaking of titles at the pay per view, MVP will be defending the United States Title against Rey Mysterio.

Cue Edge to interrupt and say that even a heart attack can’t stop Long. Edge reminds Long that he is the ASSISTANT General Manager, but Long says he is still the boss. After Edge talks to the camera to express his love to Vickie, Edge rants about how Long has screwed him out of the title over and over. Long logically explains all of his actions and gives Edge Kane tonight to shut him up.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Jesse/Festus

Non-title. The bell rings and Festus chases Morrison to the floor, leaving Jesse to hiptoss Miz. A high crossbody gives Jesse two but a neck snap across the top cuts him off. That’s broken up and the hot tag brings in Festus to clean house with reckless abandon. A faceplant and big boot drop Morrison so it’s back to Jesse. That’s fine with Morrison, who crotches Jesse on top and steals the fast win. Miz and Morrison keep racking up wins, but they’re rapidly running out of teams to beat.

Elijah Burke doesn’t like the idea of being the last person on Batista’s mind and is going to beat him tonight.

We recap Edge vs. Kane, which started back in July when Kane attacked him, leading to the big injury.

Batista vs. Elijah Burke

Non-title. Burke backs into the corner to start and then gets backed into the corner for a bonus. A running clothesline rocks Burke but he dropkicks the knee out to get a breather. Burke hits a chop block into a basement dropkick for two, with Batista getting annoyed. Batista spears him out of the air and hits the Batista Bomb for the pin.

Jamie Noble hits on Michelle McCool with offers of….Pepto Bismol? Noble rants about being a real man, unlike Chuck Palumbo and puts out an offer: if Noble beats Palumbo again, he gets a date with McCool. Deal.

Jamie Noble vs. Chuck Palumbo

If Noble wins, he gets a date with Michelle McCool. Palumbo takes him into the corner to start and hammers away but Noble kicks the knee out. An overhead belly to belly rocks Noble, but he gets a knee up in the corner. McCool gets up on the apron and takes off her jacket for a distraction. Palumbo is almost sent into McCool though and a rollup gives Noble the pin (and the date).

Cole has an idea for the date: curling up on the couch and…..watching the Triumph and Tragedy of World Class DVD! Works for me, but I might be the minority.

It’s time for the VIP Lounge with MVP talking about how he has world class everything, so of course he wants to talk about World Class Championship Wrestling. We see what looks like a trailer for the DVD and here it this week’s guest: Michael PS Hayes! Complete with Bad Street! Hayes isn’t interested in sitting down but is willing to talk about all of the deaths from the promotions. Hayes: “Six Von Erich brothers. Five are dead.” The point of the DVD is to say no to drugs and that is a great message (fair).

Hayes wants people to learn that but MVP says that Hayes is a survivor. MVP: “You look good for your age.” Hayes doesn’t like that and asks if MVP can tell time. Of course he can, so Hayes asks how it feels for your time to be running out soon. MVP asks about Hayes’ receding hairline and his expanding waistline but backs off from a fight. Hayes wants to try to stick with the DVD but MVP switches to the Hardys. Like that time when MVP crippled Matt Hardy.

Hayes says the Hardys are their own men and when Matt is back, MVP will have a serious problem. That sends Hayes into a rant about Rey Mysterio taking MVP out last week. MVP calls out Hayes for being the third wheel of the Freebirds and says they carried him. Hayes goes off about how MVP has no respect for the people who got here so he’s ready to beat MVP up. The beatdown is on with MVP laying him out with the Playmaker but Rey Mysterio makes the (very late) save. At least this was a different way to build up the title match.

Remember that Edge vs. Kane video? Here it is again.

Batista is ready for Edge and Undertaker, though he knows how hard of a fight it is going to be.

Raw Rebound.

Hornswoggle is playing in Deuce N Domino’s car and they don’t like it. The chase is on but Finlay comes in, allowing Hornswoggle to break the antenna. A match is implied.

Finlay vs. Deuce

Hornswoggle, Domino and Cherry are here too. Deuce actually hammers him down in the corner to start but Finlay grinds away on the mat to take over. A headlock takeover puts Deuce down again, with Cole referring to Finlay as Great Khali. Domino chases Hornswoggle around the ring, allowing Deuce to jump the distracted Finlay and take over. The neck crank goes on but Finlay slugs away….as Finlay sprays Cherry with a fire extinguisher. The distraction lets Finlay get in a Shillelagh shot for the pin.

Rating: C-. The big thing here is that Finlay needed to cheat to beat Deuce. When in the world would that make sense? Anyway, Finlay and Hornswoggle are slowly becoming a decent team together and that is more than I would have bet on what seems to be a glorified comedy act. The match was nothing to see, but Finlay is still good most of the time.

Post match here is Great Khali but the distraction lets Domino get in a cheap shot. Khali vice grips Finlay down.

Armageddon rundown.

Kane vs. Edge

Batista is on commentary. Before the match, Edge declares his love for Vickie Guerrero. Kane chokes him down to start as Batista doesn’t want to talk about the past. Edge’s arm is wrapped around the post and the rope before a right hand puts him down again. The double arm crank goes on but Edge fights up and hits an Edge-O-Matic. A spear knocks Kane off the apron and we take a break.

Back with Edge driving knees into the ribs but Kane fights up and hits the running clothesline in the corner. There’s the side slam but Edge breaks up the top rope clothesline. The regular spear is cut off with a big boot and now the top rope clothesline drops Edge again. Kane loads up the chokeslam but Edge drops him throat first over the top rope. That’s enough for Edge to bring in a chair (but doesn’t use it), which draws the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was just getting going when they went with the ending to keep both of them strong. That’s the better result, as both of them have a match at the pay per view. At least they got in some good stuff before they wrapped things up, which is all you can ask for in a situation like this one.

Post match Kane beats Edge down and loads up the steps but Edge sends him face first into them. The Conchairto is loaded up but Batista comes in for the save….and there’s the gong. Undertaker pops up to chokeslam Edge, earning himself a spear from Batista to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. There wasn’t much in the way of wrestling on this show, though the pay per view feuds got enough of a quick build to make the show sounds more interesting. While Armageddon isn’t entirely built around the triple threat, it is by far and away the biggest part of the show. Giving it a lot of attention here makes sense, but it would be nice for something else to get some significant time of its own.

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Smackdown
Date: November 30, 2007
Location: Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s time for one of the big matches as Batista is defending the Smackdown World Title against Edge. This could be quite the issue as Edge is now apparently with Vickie Guerrero but Undertaker isn’t happy about anything. Odds are we’ll be seeing him at some point tonight so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the Edge/Vickie Guerrero reveal and the World Title match setup.

Opening sequence.

Here is Edge for a chat. Four months ago, tragedy struck when he suffered an injury and had to vacate the World Heavyweight Title. He was gone, but no one had any sympathy for him. There was no call, no message, not even a lousy text! It was so bad that he was even considering retirement, because he didn’t need to come back to a company that doesn’t care about him.

Then about two months ago he got a phone call from someone who changed his career and his life. It was Vickie Guerrero, and Edge knew it was because she saw him as an asset. She was with him every step of the way through his rehab and they fell in love. They knew Edge had to make a statement when he came back, and that is why he hit Undertaker in the head with a camera.

Now he’s ready to take the title from Batista and it will feel so good, but not as good as getting to publicly declare his love for Vickie. Then that monster the Undertaker destroyed Vickie with a Tombstone. Vickie even felt bad for getting this involved and is probably at home with tears running down her face. Tonight, Edge will be the knight in shining armor and the World Heavyweight Champion.

We recap Vince McMahon sending Great Khali and Mark Henry to take out Finlay as Hornswoggle had to watch.

Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Deuce N Domino

Finlay and Deuce start things off with Deuce actually taking him into the corner. A neckbreaker cuts Finlay off though and the fans get behind Hornswoggle. They head outside where Cherry gets in a slap to the face, allowing Deuce to get in a cheap shot to take over. Back in and Domino holds Finlay down so Deuce can get in a shot of his own. Hornswoggle runs underneath the ring and pulls out a mouse to chase Cherry, with the distraction letting Finlay get in a Shillelagh shot. The Tadpole Splash is enough to give Hornswoggle the pin.

Rating: C. I know the team is goofy, but would Finlay and Hornswoggle getting a title feud be that much of a stretch? Miz and John Morrison don’t exactly have anyone coming after them and Finlay/Hornswoggle are a more featured act than any other team on the show. Have some fun for a bit and think outside the box. It isn’t like there is anything else going on with the titles.

Post match, Finlay and Hornswoggle dance.

We look at Edge cashing in Money in the Bank to take the World Title from Undertaker earlier this year.

Jamie Noble hits on Michelle McCool during her photo shoot. This turns into a rant about Chuck Palumbo, who is indeed right behind Noble. A match is set for later.

CM Punk vs. Kenny Dykstra

Non-title. Punk kicks at the leg to start and Dykstra crashes out to the floor early on. Back in and Dykstra gets in a shot to the arm and the armbar goes on. That’s broken up with an armdrag but Dykstra puts it right back on. Punk fights out again and goes for the springboard clothesline, only to get dropkicked out of the air. Not that it mattes as Punk gets in a shot of his own and hits the GTS for the pin.

Rating: D+. That’s the kind of opponent that Punk should be facing when he comes on this show, though they could have done it a bit better than spending most of the match in an armbar. In theory at least, this was a good showcase for Punk, who seems to be on his way up to the next level sooner rather than later. Other than that though, this was a pretty lame match as they didn’t really get it going until the end.

We look at Edge vs. Batista at Judgment Day 2007.

Big Daddy V/MVP vs. Kane/Rey Mysterio

Matt Striker is here with the villains. Rey kicks away at MVP to get things going before it’s off to Kane for the uppercut to the floor. A dive (from Rey if that’s not clear) takes MVP down and we take a break. Back with MVP fighting out of the corner to knock Kane back and it’s V getting in some cheap shots from the apron. MVP’s running boot in the corner takes too long though and Kane blasts him with a clothesline.

The hot tag brings Rey back in to clean house but Striker gets in a cheap shot to cut him off. V comes in and steps on Rey’s chest and a tilt-a-whirl side slam drops him again. MVP cranks on the arms for a bit before V misses a charge into the corner. That and an enziguri are enough for Kane to come in off the hot tag, meaning house can be cleaned. Kane hits a top rope clothesline and it’s a 619 into the springboard splash to pin MVP.

Rating: C+. Smackdown has long since figured out how to do this kind of a match and eat up some TV time without feeling boring. There is a wide variety of wrestlers who can be thrown into something like this and make it work and that was the case again here. MVP vs. Mysterio continues and unfortunately so does Kane vs. V, but at least the good pairing got the focus.

Here’s the opening video again.

Edge and Batista had another match at One Night Stand.

Batista is ready to destroy Edge tonight.

Here’s Edge vs. Batista in Smackdown vs. Raw.

Jamie Noble vs. Chuck Palumbo

Michelle McCool is here with Palumbo. A clothesline puts Noble down to start and Palumbo knocks him to the floor. Back in and Noble gets in a dropkick to the knee to cut him off, setting up the leglock. The spinning toehold keeps Palumbo down but he’s fine enough to hit a quick suplex. An overhead belly to belly rocks Noble, but he avoids a charge in the corner and grabs a rollup (with jeans) for the pin.

Rating: C-. Palumbo can’t be long for this show right? He’s lowing to Noble and having McCool around him is only going to get him so far. He has a good look and some size, but the biker deal isn’t going to carry him much further than this. They proved the point with this last week and hopefully that wraps up things for the feud and Palumbo in general.

Vince McMahon has a surprise planned for Great Khali vs. Finlay at Armageddon. To keep the joy going, Vince has Runjin Singh do a Hornswoggle imitation. Then Vince has him do an imitation of Singh’s uncle, who is a stereotypical convenience store clerk. Then it’s a Great Khali impression, with the real Khali coming in. Singh has to talk his way out of trouble.

Edge and Batista fought again at Vengeance.

Raw Rebound.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Edge

Batista is defending and after the Big Match Intros, knocks Edge into the corner. Edge gets sent into the ropes and seems to want to slow things down. Another hard shot has Edge down again and a shoulder gets one. We take a break and come back with Batista getting two off a slam but Edge manages to send him outside.

That doesn’t get Edge very far though as Batista cranks on the arm to cut him right back off. Some right hands to the head stagger Edge again and a big running forearm knocks him off the apron as this is mostly one sided so far. A swinging neckbreaker gets Edge out of trouble though and we take another break.

Back again with Edge holding a chinlock before taking a bit too long to go up top. That lets Batista grab a suplex and a top rope shoulder sends Edge flying again. There’s the swinging Boss Man Slam for two but the Batista Bomb is countered into the Edgecution for two more. Back up and Batista loads up the spear but we’ve got Undertaker. He throws Edge outside and chokeslams Batista as the match is thrown out.

Rating: C. This was a weird one as the match was almost a Batista squash until Undertaker came in. Edge hit that one Edgecution and a few other shots but this was Batista in control for the large majority. It didn’t matter in the end, but it also didn’t paint Edge in the best light in his first important match back from injury.

Post match Teddy Long makes his surprise return and announces (via a printed message from Vickie Guerrero) the triple threat match for Armageddon.

Overall Rating: C. Another pretty steady show here, though MVP vs. Mysterio and the Finlay/Hornswoggle/Vince stuff is picking up some steam. I do like that they have some other stories going on besides the main event, as that has been dominating the show for a little too long. Edge vs. Batista vs. Undertaker is interesting enough, but you can only ride that one idea for so long. Mostly in the middle show this week, as Smackdown continues to rarely break out of its comfort zone.

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Smackdown
Date: November 23, 2007
Location: St. Pete’s Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Both Survivor Series and Thanksgiving have come and gone so it is probably time for a lot of leftovers. The big story coming out of the pay per view is Batista retaining the World Title over Undertaker with an assist from the returning Edge to make things rather interesting. You can probably book the triple threat from here. Let’s get to it.

Here is Survivor Series if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Edge returning at Survivor Series to cost Undertaker the World Title against Batista inside the Cell.

Edge is in Vickie Guerrero’s office where she yells at him for messing everything up. His punishment: a shot at the World Title next week. Edge likes the idea and thanks her for helping him get inside the Cell at Survivor Series. Vickie: “You’re welcome baby.” Edge can thank her properly later and kissing ensues to a BIG reaction.

Opening sequence.

JBL is in the ring and brings out MVP for a chat. After some congratulations, JBL is ready to present MVP with the first ever United States Title ring. First though, we look at MVP taking out Matt Hardy last week and putting him on the shelf. MVP brags about himself and says Matt should be one of the people putting up the ring. Matt doesn’t even have a leg to stand on and MVP feels so much better after dropping that weight.

We see the ring, which has a lot of international jewels included. MVP says he is the MVP of the show but here is Rey Mysterio to interrupt. Rey calls MVP a rookie and a punk (but not a rookie punk) and knows that he is scared. That earns Rey a right hand so the brawl is on with MVP bailing before the 619. MVP needed some fresh competition and Rey will do just fine.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Major Brothers

Non-title and Miz/Morrison still have separate entrances. Morrison and Brian start things off with Brian going after the arm. Brett comes in but gets driven into the corner so Miz comes in for a throat first catapult into the rope. It’s back to Morrison for a front facelock but Brett is back up with a clothesline. The hot tag brings in Brian to start cleaning house, only to have Miz come back with the Reality Check for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. This was more or less a squash for Miz and Morrison, which is the kind of thing that they need at some point in their reign. Just having them beat some team here or there is going to get them somewhere, though it isn’t like there are a ton of teams for them to take out. You can see the chemistry there though and that is a good sign for the future.

Vince McMahon comes in to see Finlay and talks about the tough love that Hornswoggle has been experiencing as of late. Finlay says that wasn’t part of the deal but Vince doesn’t want to talk about that. Tonight, Finlay and Hornswoggle are going to be facing Mark Henry in a handicap match.

Kane vs. Big Daddy V

Matt Striker is here with V, who takes Kane into the corner for a running splash. V drops Kane and rides him in that odd manner before hitting a running clothesline. Kane is back up with some shots to the face and a big boot. The top rope clothesline is loaded up but Striker comes in for the DQ.

Post match Kane grabs the chair that Striker brought with him and clears the ring.

MVP vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title. Rey takes him down into a headscissors to start but MVP slips out without much effort. Back up and Rey kicks at the knee as we hear about Matt Hardy being out for two to three months. The springboard spinning crossbody gives Rey two so MVP bails out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with MVP hitting a running kick to the head for two of his own but Rey kicks his way out of the corner. One heck of a clothesline takes Rey down and we hit a full nelson on the mat. Rey fights out so MVP kicks him in the face for two more and rains down right hands. We hit an armbar of all things but Rey fights up into a tornado DDT.

A running boot to the side of the head cuts MVP off for a change, followed by a standing kick to the head for two more. Another tornado DDT is countered into something like a Downward Spiral but Rey is right back with the 619. The West Coast Pop is loaded up but MVP counters into a powerbomb and stacks him up, with a grab of the rope, for the pin.

Rating: C. They had some sloppy moments in there as it seemed they weren’t on the same page, which isn’t something you would expect from these two. MVP getting a cheating win could either wrap things up for the two of them or set up a rematch so Rey can get some revenge. That being said, it is hard to imagine anyone taking the title from MVP until Matt Hardy is back, which might not be the best idea.

Batista comes in to see Vickie Guerrero and wants to know why Edge is getting a title shot next week. That would be because Vickie loves Edge and Batista can get out.

Jesse tells us that Festus is a huge John Cena fan, which explains why he is dressed as Cena. Did you know that Cena has a new DVD out?

Jamie Noble hits on Michelle McCool and gets slapped in the face.

Hornswoggle thanks Finlay for helping him.

Mark Henry vs. Hornswoggle/Finlay

Finlay and Hornswoggle manage to double team Henry down and a catapulted Hornswoggle might have set up a low blow. Finlay drops him onto Henry before dropping some elbows but Henry gets up. A shot drops Finlay so the chase is on, with Hornswoggle grabbing the Shillelagh. The distraction lets Finlay pull out another one and knock Henry silly so Hornswoggle can get the pin.

Post match here is Great Khali so Finlay is ready, only to get taken down by Henry. We cut to the back, where Vince McMahon approves.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Jamie Noble

JBL says Noble has “a malignant case of wall to wall dumb.” Palumbo knocks him down to start and gets two off a suplex. Noble is right back up and hits a middle rope knee to the head, setting up a neck crank. A right hand drops Noble and a clothesline does it again to prove a point. Palumbo misses a charge into the post though and Noble victory rolls him for the pin.

Rating: D+. That’s it for Palumbo right? He wasn’t exactly great in the first place but now he is losing to Noble clean? Why in the world would you think there was anything else for him to do at this point? Nothing much to this one, but it is nice to see Noble get a win after all of those weeks of being destroyed.

Torrie Wilson vs. Victoria

Torrie takes her into the corner to start but Victoria is right back with the spinning side slam cuts her off. Victoria sends her into the corner but Torrie fights out with some elbows. A dropkick sets up a high crossbody for two, followed by a neckbreaker to give Torrie the clean pin. This would actually be Torrie’s last match as she would take time off for a back injury and not get back in the ring.

We look at Edge returning in the Cell to cost Undertaker the World Title again.

It’s time for the Cutting Edge, with Vickie Guerrero coming to the ring arm in arm with Edge to make things a bit more official. Edge knows the fans are glad to have him back and says this is the result of four months of careful planning. Everything will be finished next week when Edge wins the World Title from his guest this week, Batista. After Batista comes to the ring, he says Edge and Vickie make him sick and Edge deserves his beating next week. Batista shoves him down and leaves….and there is the gong. Edge leaves Vickie to get grabbed by the throat and Tombstoned to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. As has been the case in recent weeks, this was all about one story, but Edge is instantly a major player thanks to the Vickie Guerrero relationship (plus, you know, being Edge). You can all but line up the triple threat for the next pay per view, meaning there are likely to be some shenanigans next week. The rest of the show was the usual skippable stuff, though Finlay and Hornswoggle oddly work together.

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Smackdown
Date: November 16, 2007
Location: Kansas Coliseum, Wichita, Kansas
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and that means it is time for Undertaker and Batista to stare at each other because their title match in the Cell has been set for a few weeks now. Other than that, we don’t have much, but I could go for more of Jamie Noble, who has been a gem in recent weeks. I’m not sure how they fill two hours with that but let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a video on Batista vs. Undertaker inside the Cell. That’s about as big as it gets on this show.

Opening sequence.

Jeff Hardy vs. Finlay

Non-title and commentary explains that the GM’s have agreed that the Brand Split is out the window for this week. Finlay takes him into the corner for a rare clean break to start before going with a rather simple armbar. Hardy isn’t having that and picks up the pace by sending Finlay outside for a dive.

Back in and Jeff is sent shoulder first into the post and things slow right back down. The chinlock goes on, with Finlay adding in some elbows for two. Hardy tries to fight out but Finlay goes aerial with a basement dropkick, setting up another chinlock. Back up and Finlay sends him into the corner, allowing Jeff to hit a quick Whisper in the Wind. The slingshot dropkick is loaded up so Finlay grabs the shillelagh but the referee grabs it and calls for the DQ.

Rating: C+. I like the ending here and there is something fun about watching Finlay take someone apart. It is what he does best and you can believe that he is capable of hurting just about anyone you put him in there against. If nothing else, I can go for seeing the Intercontinental Champion not taking a pin in a match designed to set up another one.

Jeff clears Finlay out.

We look at Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels in the first Cell match.

Here is Undertaker for a chat. Undertaker talks about how evil the Cell is but no one comes out of it the same. He has been in it more than anyone else so let’s call it the Deadman’s Playground. On Sunday, Batista’s fate will be the same as everyone else and he will lose the World Heavyweight Championship. Oh and he will rest in peace. Much like Batista last week, this was short and to the point, which is a good thing.

Beth Phoenix/Victoria vs. Mickie James/Torrie Wilson

Mickie and Victoria start things off with Mickie getting out of a wristlock and grabbing a victory roll for two. Phoenix comes in to take Mickie down by the hair but Mickie sends her into the corner. That’s enough for the tag to Torrie, who gets in some forearms before Phoenix grabs her with a side slam. The Glam Slam finishes Torrie without much trouble.

Jeff Hardy goes to take care of some personal plans, which is cool with Matt Hardy. Kind of a random interaction.

Undertaker destroyed Mankind in and outside of the Cell.

It’s time for the VIP Lounge and MVP gets straight to the point by bringing in Matt Hardy as his guest. MVP talks about how they have been rivals but became partners and champions. Matt likes the sound of that, but brings up MVP pulling Jeff Hardy off the apron on ECW and injuring him to win a tag match. MVP’s explanation: he was in a wrestling match and tried to win! That’s not good enough for Matt, who wants his US Title shot. MVP says they need to worry about the Tag Team Titles but Matt says they aren’t friends. Matt wants his title shot right now….but MVP says they have to defend the Tag Team Titles RIGHT NOW.

Tag Team Titles: MVP/Matt Hardy vs. Miz/John Morrison

Miz and Morrison are challenging. Miz takes MVP into the corner for a clean break to start so MVP knees him in the head. The running boot in the corner tweaks MVP’s knee though and that means it’s off to Hardy. Morrison comes in and starts going off Matt’s knee so the champs can match. A clothesline gives Matt a breather but Morrison twists the knee right back down. Matt fights up again and tries the Twist of Fate but Miz chop blocks him and covers for the pin and titles in a big upset.

Rating: D+. That ending screams shenanigans and it would not surprise me to see something screwy happen after the match. MVP and Hardy did some great things as Tag Team Champions but at some point you have to move on to the next point in the story. That seems to be where we are going now and that is better than almost anything else they could do.

Post match MVP says not so fast because the rematch is being cashed in RIGHT NOW (while referring to Miz and Morrison as 98 Degrees and N’Sync).

Tag Team Titles: MVP/Matt Hardy vs. Miz/John Morrison

Miz and Morrison are defending. Joined in progress with the limping MVP hammering on Miz until the knee buckles. Matt comes in so Miz takes him down by the leg and starts cranking away. The Mizard of Oz gets two on Matt and Morrison grabs a half crab. That’s switched into something like a kneebar on the mat and Matt taps to retain the new champs’ titles.

Post match MVP helps Matt up…and then takes out the knee again. The big beatdown is on, with Matt’s knee being crushed in the steps. A shinbreaker onto the steps makes Matt scream and MVP’s leg seeming just fine.

Undertaker shoved Rikishi off the top of the Cell.

Survivor Series rundown.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey has bad ribs coming in but is fine enough to snap off an armdrag. Kennedy gets sent out to the floor fast but is ready for the dive, leaving Rey in the ring as we take a break. Back with Kennedy going for the mask before settling for a shot to the ribs to keep Rey in trouble. Some shoulders in the corner and a suplex give Kennedy two, setting up the bodyscissors.

Kennedy cranks away until Rey (who shouts that he can’t breathe) makes the rope so it’s out to the floor with the ribs being sent into various things. A torture rack of all things stays on the ribs until Rey slips out for a rollup and a near fall. Rey manages a spinning DDT to put them both down for a breather.

Back up and Rey hits the springboard spinning crossbody, setting up the springboard seated senton. A big kick to the head gives Rey two but Kennedy is right back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two of his own. The 619 looks to set up Dropping The Dime but Kennedy is too far away so Rey gets back inside. Kennedy takes him down again and loads up the Green Bay Plunge. That takes too long as well though, allowing Rey to hit a super hurricanrana for the pin.

Rating: C+. Another case of two talented wrestlers having a good match and that is not the biggest surprise. Smackdown has been having these longer matches to give the show a more old school wrestling feel and that is a nice thing to see. This was a nice preview for Survivor Series and it actually gives one of the teams a bit more momentum for once.

Undertaker beat up Randy Orton in the Cell.

It’s time for the official weigh-in between Great Khali and Hornswoggle. After they both come out, Hornswoggle goes first and weighs 138lbs. Khali tries and breaks the scale, with Michael Cole saying that if Khali weighs 420lbs, he’ll outweigh Hornswoggle by more than 280lbs. Runjin Singh translates Khali’s rant about the people he has hurt. Then we get a photo opportunity between then and Hornswoggle cries, with Khali pointing at him and tearing up Hornswoggle’s hat.

Batista vs. Mark Henry

Non-title and No DQ. Batista knocks him down to start and they’re on the floor in a hurry. Back in and Batista works on the arm before going with a slam to show off. A belt shot to the head finishes Henry fast. This was similar to Undertaker vs. Great Khali last week, but without as much Khali.

Post match Batista takes him outside for a whip into the steps. Batista chokes him with a camera cord and spears him down. Cole attributes this to the Cell possessing his soul, but Batista cuts him off with some chair shots to Henry. Undertaker’s face appears on the Titantron (though Batista’s bugged out eye look easily tops it) to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked this show a pretty good bit as they set up some other Survivor Series matches aside from the main event. You can only get so far with the focus being on that one match and it is the kind of build that Survivor Series needed. Good show here, with some longer matches that made me want to see the pay per view that much more.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 12, 2007
Location: Kansas Expo Center, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and the show is mostly set. Last week’s show was some weird offshoot that didn’t do much to make me want to see Survivor Series, but at least the pay per view looks good on paper. That could make for an interesting week here so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a special Veterans Day video.

Here is Smackdown World Champion Batista to get things going. He is getting ready for the Undertaker inside the Cell on Sunday and he is here because of an invitation from Raw General Manager William Regal. Batista wants some competition and here is Undertaker to interrupt. Undertaker seems ready to fight and we have a referee but cue Regal to interrupt, because we’re going to have a tag match.

Batista/Undertaker vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Non-title. Undertaker starts fast with Old School on Cade but Batista tags himself in for some shoulders to the ribs. Murdoch comes in and shoulders Batista down but a spinebuster gets Batista out of trouble. Undertaker chokeslams Cade and Batista spears Murdoch. The Tombstone finishes Cade in a hurry, because the Tag Team Champions should be losing in less than three minutes to a team who doesn’t like each other.

Post match, Batista gives Murdoch a bonus Batista Bomb.

Here’s a look at Smackdown vs. Raw 2008.

Beth Phoenix vs. Maria

Non-title. Beth kicks her down without much trouble to start but Maria gets in some kicks of her own. That’s enough for Beth as she grabs the fisherman’s suplex for the pin.

Post match Santino Marella comes out to check on Maria. With that out of the way, Santino starts talking about how unfair it was to get beaten up by Steve Austin last week. What happened to the first amendment? Santino wants an apology from Austin, who isn’t here this week. With that not working, he’ll go over to Austin’s friend, Jim Ross. Santino mocks JR’s English abilities and wants a fight, but JR won’t get up. Jerry Lawler will though and gets in the ring to punch Santino down.

Post break, Santino challenges Lawler for later tonight. Lawler is game.

Video on Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton.

We get a Mobile Exclusive (meaning something that aired on Smackdown) showing Randy Orton and William Regal meeting in the back. The Survivor Series match will now have Sweet Chin Music banned, but if Orton tries to get disqualified, he loses the title.

Hardys/Rey Mysterio vs. Mr. Kennedy/Finlay/MVP

Matt wants MVP to start with him but gets Finlay instead. Finlay shoulders him down and hands it off to Kennedy to work on the knee as it’s weird hearing JR talk about these guys after so many months. Matt fights up with some armdrags but a distraction lets Kennedy knock him to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Matt and Kennedy not quite getting a Side Effect right. It’s still enough to bring Rey in but MVP takes him down anyway. MVP grabs a seated abdominal stretch and it’s back to Finlay for a running sitdown splash to stay on the ribs. Kennedy hits some backbreakers and MVP grabs a waistlock as the ribs are rather banged up. Rey fights up and grabs a DDT though, allowing the hot tag off to Jeff. Everything breaks down and Rey hits a 619 to MVP and Kennedy at the same time. Jeff Swantons MVP for the pin.

Rating: C+. I think you knew what you were getting here and they did it just fine. You have more than enough talent here that any combination could have pulled off a good match here and the Mysterio rib injury worked. There is a pretty solid mid to upper midcard in WWE at the moment and this was a nice showcase for some of them.

SAVE US, which now says six days, 23 hours, 33 minutes and BREAK THE WALLS in case you didn’t get the idea yet.

Here is Vince McMahon to moderate a face to face meeting between Randy Orton and Shawn Michaels. They go over the stipulations for Sunday’s match, which brings up the idea of Shawn not being able to use the superkick. Shawn thinks Orton picked these rules because he is sick of the superkick. Maybe Shawn is a one trick pony, but maybe he could use a submission or something new.

All that matters to Shawn is that he remembers seeing his family after Orton put him down and that isn’t going to go away. Vince offers a distraction though and Orton gets in a cheap shot, only to have Vince block the Punt. Orton goes with the RKO instead and Shawn is left laying for a change. Nice use of a heel beatdown segment here.

Jillian Hall/Layla/Melina vs. Mickie James/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly

Michelle and Melina fight over wrist control to start, with Michelle wristdragging her into the corner. Kelly comes in and makes the mistake of dancing a bit too much, allowing Melina to drop her with a clothesline. Jillian comes in and quickly gives up a tag off to Mickie so house can be cleaned. Mickie gives Layla the Long Kiss Goodnight (kiss into a spinning kick to the head) for the pin.

Classic Survivor Series clip: The Rock wins the WWF Title at Survivor Series 1998 by going Corporate.

Snitsky likes to hurt people.

Jerry Lawler vs. Santino Marella

Lawler is in street clothes and JR keeps hyping up the right hand. A backdrop has Marella in early trouble and the right hands knock him up against the ropes. Marella gets in him into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs but Lawler avoids a knee drop. Some right hands stagger Lawler but Marella stops to yell at JR and gets small packaged for the fast pin. Short and inoffensive.

SAVE US. AGAIN.

Before the fans came in earlier today, William Regal held a training session for Hornswoggle in the empty arena. For some reason, Hornswoggle and Great Khali (or at least Coach in a Khali wig) both get full entrances from Lilian Garcia. Coach takes the wig off but Real yells at him until he puts it back on. Someone else as Runjin Singh handles the ranting translations and we seem to be having a full match. Hornswoggle takes a distracted Coach down, knocks the wind out of him and hits the Tadpole Splash for the fast pin. This could have been funny but it was too short to go anywhere.

Survivor Series rundown.

HHH is looking forward to Survivor Series but tonight, he’s taking out Umaga in a lumberjack match. He’ll take out all of Umaga’s guys if he needs to and then his team will win again on Sunday.

Classic Survivor Series clip: The Royal Family vs. Clowns R Us. No.

HHH vs. Umaga

Lumberjack match with the other Survivor Series team members (and more) around the ring. Umaga starts fast and the brawl is on, with HHH being sent outside. A right hand drops Matt Striker so HHH heads back inside, only to take Umaga outside this time. HHH dives off the apron to take out Umaga and the pile. Umaga gets in a shot of his own though and we take a break.

Back with Umaga hitting the swinging release Rock Bottom to take over again. Umaga sits on HHH’s ribs and lets Finlay get in a cheap shot from the floor (as you do). HHH gets in a shot to the head and tries a slam, only to fall back in a crash. We hit the nerve hold for a bit before HHH gets pounded down into the corner. The running hip attack misses though, allowing HHH to grab a DDT. The facebuster looks to set up the Pedigree but Umaga is back with the Samoan drop. Not that HHH minds as he comes back with the spinebuster, drawing in Finlay for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was almost every HHH vs. Umaga match you’ve ever seen but with some guest stars on the floor. They couldn’t have a clean ending on the last show before Survivor Series and lumberjacks are a perfect way out. I don’t think there is a ton of drama for what is going to happen on Sunday though and there was only so much interest in seeing these two fight again here.

The big brawl ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. As has been obvious on Smackdown in recent weeks, Survivor Series is not going to be a deep show. There is the Undertaker vs. Batista match on top, then Shawn vs. Orton a good bit below that. Other than that, you have Team HHH vs. Team Umaga to make it feel like Survivor Series and that’s really about it for stuff that matters. This wasn’t exactly a great go home show, but they did a nice enough job of hitting the bigger stuff on Sunday’s card. Now just get through Survivor Series and let us get on to something more traditional, as that could do Raw and Smackdown some good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

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Smackdown
Date: November 9, 2007
Location: Rabobank Arena, Bakersfield, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We are almost up to Survivor Series and the main event is set. Other than that, Smackdown doesn’t have much going on at the moment though and they need to come up with something in the next week or so. This week will see Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay, in what should be the blowoff to a pretty decent feud. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Jesse/Festus, Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore, Deuce N Domino, Major Brothers, Dave Taylor/Drew McIntyre

Only one member has to be eliminated and the winners get a Tag Team Title shot later tonight. It’s a brawl to start with almost everyone getting together to eliminate Festus, who has to be forced to the back because the bell didn’t ring to snap him back to normal. Yang and Moore hit a double dropkick on McIntyre as there isn’t exactly much going on here. We finally get something out of the norm as Yang takes his shirt off, only to get kneed off the top and out to the floor.

For some reason we take a break and come back with Taylor being clotheslined out, leaving us with the Majors vs. Deuce N Domino. Brett gets knocked down but he’s able to make a last second save for Brian. A suplex/high crossbody combination hits Brett but Crack Them In Da Mouth is broken up, allowing the Majors to dump both of them out for the surprise win.

Rating: D+. This was about as good as it was going to get, as there isn’t much that can be done with a five team battle royal. The best part is the fact that they mixed it up a bit, as Deuce N Domino are done as a team that really matters, at least for the time being. The Majors have cooled way off, but at least they’re something that feels a lot more fresh.

Torrie Wilson asks Michelle McCool what is up with Michelle and Chuck Palumbo. Michelle says they’re just friends but Torrie isn’t convinced. Kenny Dykstra and Victoria come up and the brawl sets up a match.

We look back at the history of the Great Khali vs. Undertaker, as they face off in a No Holds Barred match tonight.

Michelle McCool vs. Victoria

Chuck Palumbo and Kenny Dykstra are here too. McCool shoulders her down to start and cranks on a wristlock but Victoria manages to send her outside. Victoria gets in a ram into the barricade and takes her back inside for two. Back up and Michelle kicks her in the face, setting up a big boot. The guys get in a fight though and Victoria grabs a DDT for the fast pin.

Rey Mysterio isn’t worried about Finlay because Finlay doesn’t know him. After some Spanish, Rey declares himself a winner.

Jamie Noble interrupts Vickie Guerrero and CM Punk to thank Vickie for the Rey Mysterio DVD last week. He has a special….VHS with her, including the promise of, ahem, personal footage at the end. Punk likes the retro VHS but Noble goes into a rant about what Vickie has put him through. A match is made (after a discussion of pie). Noble: “Is this some kind of crazy fetish with you???” And give him back his tape! Noble continues to be absolutely hilarious in the last few weeks.

Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio

They start slowly and JBL is NOT pleased with the way the fans are chanting about Finlay. A hard clothesline drops Rey and it’s time to start the clubbing shots to the back. Rey hurricanranas him to the floor and adds a baseball slide into an Asai moonsault as we take a break. Back with Finlay getting in a shot of his own to take over again, with Rey getting rocked by a few kicks to the ribs.

Finlay sends him chest first into the buckle to break up a comeback and a buckle bomb has Rey in even more trouble. As commentary argues over whether the fans want competition or a fight, Finlay slams him legs first into the ropes and grabs a Boston crab. With that broken up, some knees to the back send Rey outside, where he is sent into the barricade. Back in and the Boston crab goes on again, with Rey getting out again.

A rollup out of the corner gives Rey two as a turnbuckle pad has been taken off somewhere in there. Rey hammers down some right hands but gets dropped face first onto the exposed buckle for two more. Another hard clothesline gives Finlay two but Rey slips out of a belly to back suplex. The 619 sets up the West Coast Pop, which is broken up with a knock off the ropes. Finlay hits the Celtic Cross for the completely clean pin.

Rating: B-. These guys work well together and they did so again here, with Finlay getting one of his bigger wins in recent months. It’s strange to see this one go down clean but Finlay beating Mysterio isn’t the biggest stretch. If nothing else, it is always fun to see Finlay pick someone apart like this and he did it well here.

Post match Finlay takes him outside for a laptop to the head and a ribs first ram into the post to leave Rey laying. Rey is so banged up that the mask comes off as the referee checks on him.

We look at Great Khali crushing Kane with the Vice Grip back in the day.

CM Punk vs. Jamie Noble

Non-title. Noble goes for the arm to start but gets kicked in the leg, setting up a triangle dropkick out to the floor. Back in and Noble manages a few kicks to the ribs, setting up a cobra clutch of all things. Some knees to the head seem to wake Punk up as he’s back with the running knee into/the bulldog out of the corner. Not that it matters as Miz runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C. They really can’t have Noble take a pin from a reigning champion? Noble has been beaten like a drum and keeps coming back but I guess they had to draw the line somewhere. Punk getting onto one of the bigger shows is a good thing too as he should be starting to move in that direction in the next few months.

Post match John Morrison joins Miz in the beatdown. Punk gets in a GTS on Morrison but Noble hits his fireman’s carry gutbuster to drop Punk again.

Video on the Cell.

Here is Batista for a chat, with JBL getting a prompt phone call to allow himself a hasty escape. Batista says he and Undertaker are not friends, but he is pulling for Great Khali tonight. He wants Undertaker at his best in the Cell because he wants to prove that he is the better man. Everything is on the line and he’s ready for Undertaker. This was short but VERY to the point and it worked.

Tag Team Titles: MVP/Matt Hardy vs. Major Brothers

The Brothers are challenging. Brian armdrags Matt into an early armbar but Matt punches his way out of trouble. The corner clothesline into the corner bulldog (might not want to do such a similar sequence in the match right after Punk) and it’s off to MVP for a suplex. MVP isn’t interested in bringing Matt back in so he grabs the Playmaker for the pin to retain. Not much more than a squash here.

Post match, the champs don’t seem to trust each other.

Remember how Khali uses the Vice Grip? Here’s even more proof of it.

Fabulous Moolah tribute video.

Survivor Series rundown.

Undertaker vs. Great Khali

No Holds Barred. Undertaker starts striking away early on and hits a chokeslam less than a minute in. We take an early break and come back with Khali taking over in the corner and getting two off a clothesline. The nerve hold goes on for a bit, only to have Undertaker fight up. That’s countered into the Vice Grip but Undertaker punches his way out and hits an all time bad chokeslam (as Khali got all of an inch into the air) for two. Khali is right back with the chokeslam but stops to pose, allowing Undertaker to sit up. The triangle choke (possibly making his debut) makes Khali tap.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much to see here as Undertaker wasn’t about to lose to Khali, who has fallen off the planet in the last few months. Beating Khali will always mean something because he is so big but he’s a three move combo at best. That doesn’t make for the most thrilling match but Undertaker getting in a new finisher was a nice touch.

Undertaker motions that he wants the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. There were a few minor bright spots in here but again it didn’t feel like a show you needed to watch. They are focusing hard on the Cell match to carry the Smackdown side of the pay per view and that should work, but I’m not sure how much else there is going to be that is worth seeing. Maybe they add in something more next week, though I don’t know what else they have to add. Fix that up and they could be ok, but it isn’t looking like a strong show nine days out.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.