Royal Rumble 2014
Date: January 26, 2014
Location: Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Aside from the title match and Rumble itself, we also have Brock Lesnar facing the Big Show. This would be another match on the list of matches that we’ve seen far too often but keep seeing anyway for reasons that aren’t entirely clear. Lesnar has regularly destroyed Big Show in the past and now he gets to do it again. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws reunited as a nostalgia act and pinned the champs to earn this shot. Dogg and Cody get things going with Dogg hammering away, only to miss his Shake Rattle and Roll punch. Cody misses the Disaster Kick but sends both Outlaws to the floor. The champs hit dives on the Outlaws as we take a break. Back with Goldust in trouble as Dogg puts on a chinlock.

The Outlaws double team Goldust for a bit until he hits a jumping sunset flip for two on Dogg. Gunn charges into a powerslam and there’s the hot tag to Cody. A missile dropkick drops both Outlaws and Cross Rhodes plants Dogg for two with Billy making the save. Gunn makes a blind tag and hits a Fameasser on Cody for the big upset win.

Rating: C. This was fine for an opener and the fans were into the nostalgia. The Outlaws were only transitional champions anyway as the Usos would get the belts before Wrestlemania. Cody and Goldust had them back before the year was over too so no one was really hurt by this.

The opening video talks about working to achieve your dreams. Sometimes there’s a very thin line between almost getting there and getting everything you want. We also focus on Orton vs. Cena because that’s the real main event here. The Rumble itself gets a quick mention too.

Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt

Daniel joined the Wyatt Family on the last Raw of the year but then rejected them a few weeks later, leading to one of the loudest YES chants you’ll ever hear. Bryan punches out of the corner to start but Bray drives knees into his ribs and blasts him with an elbow. That’s fine with Bryan as he kicks the knee out but has to go after Bray’s followers Luke Harper and Erick Rowan. A suicide dive drops Harper but the referee ejects both monsters.

Bray huddles with his Family on the floor, allowing Daniel to take him down with a plancha. Back in and a high cross body gets two on Wyatt but he chops Daniel off the middle rope and out to the floor. Bray charges at Daniel but drives the bad knee into the steps to put him back down again. Back in and Daniel starts kicking at the leg before snapping off a dragon screw leg whip. A modified curb stomp gets two for Bryan but Bray drives him back into the corner.

They slug it out to the apron with Wyatt snapping Daniel’s shoulder down in a big crash. Back in and Bray hits his release suplex slam and we hit the chinlock. Bray puts Daniel’s head against the post and drives in forearms to follow up on Bryan’s recent concussion. Back in again and a kick to the face gives Bray a few near falls. A big release Rock Bottom plants him again and Bray does his Spider Walk out of the corner. Bryan finally avoids an elbow drop and hits a running clothesline.

Some kicks stagger Bray and a drop toehold sends him into the middle buckle. Daniel kicks away in the corner and nails a top rope hurricanrana for two. Another running clothesline is countered by a running elbow to the chest as Bray takes over again. Bryan low bridges him to the floor and hits a running tornado DDT off the apron. A running dropkick sends Bray into the barricade and a missile dropkick puts Wyatt down in the ring.

The YES Kicks get two but Bray turns him inside out with a clothesline for two. Sister Abigail is countered but Bray bites his way out of the YES Lock. Daniel scores with more kicks and hits a top rope splash but Bray ducks to the floor to avoid the running knee. The Flying Goat is blocked though and Bray hits Sister Abigail into the barricade to knock Bryan silly. Back in and another Sister Abigail is good for the pin.

Rating: A. This was considered a match of the year contender and it’s easy to see why. These two beat the tar out of each other with each move getting harder and harder than the previous. Bryan lost here but came out looking like a star. Bray on the other hand looks like a killer and that’s exactly what he’s supposed to be.

Paul Heyman says Brock Lesnar is going to challenge the winner of Orton vs. Cena for the World Title. However, first he has to make an example out of Big Show.

Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is here.

The expert panel of Jim Duggan, Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair aren’t sure who to pick between Lesnar and Big Show.

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

These two have had a feud for years and this time Big Show has been getting the better of it through pure power. Lesnar takes Show down before the bell and pounds on him with fists and then a chair. As Big Show is down, Lawler says Big Show gave Lesnar his first loss at the 2002 Royal Rumble, which would be three months before Lesnar debuted. We get the opening bell with Lesnar getting another chair but Show nails him with the KO Punch. Lesnar is rocked and Show takes him outside for a whip into the barricade. Back in and Big Show loads up another KO but Lesnar ducks and throws him up for the F5 for the easy pin.

Lesnar beats on him with the chair even more after the match. He’s broken two chairs over Show’s back.

Shield says they have 27 enemies tonight and it’ll be the three of them left standing. Only one of them can stand tall at the end but Reigns thinks he has the winning number. He won’t say what it is though. Dean offers to tell him his if Reigns tells his. Dean: “What if I have two numbers? I have ALL the numbers!” They agree to believe in the Shield.

Orton says he’s going to beat Cena and put him to the back of the line. Renee Young asks about Batista, Brock Lesnar and Bray Wyatt wanting title shots but Orton laughs it off and calls Wyatt a deranged hillbilly Duck Dynasty reject.

We recap Orton vs. Cena. This is more about their short term history, focusing on the titles being unified back in December. Orton seems to be cracking under the pressure of being champion and even attacked Cena’s father at Raw recently.

WWE World Title: Randy Orton vs. John Cena

No countout and no DQ with Orton defending.. The fans loudly chant for Daniel Bryan before and after the bell. They hit the mat and the fans are already bored less than twenty seconds in. Cena fights up and gets two off a bulldog but charges into an elbow in the corner. Now a Randy Savage chant starts up and Orton stops for a second before kicking Cena even more.

Off to a chinlock as the fans chant for Y2J. After fighting out, Cena catches on and tries a Boston crab. Orton kicks him to the floor during a brief Undertaker chant and now it’s just the standard boring chant. A clothesline puts Orton back outside but he sends Cena into the steps. Back in and a DDT gets two for Orton as the fans just say both guys suck. Cena comes back with shoulder blocks and the ProtoBomb, only to take too long jawing and walk into a powerslam for two.

A half nelson slam into a neckbreaker gets two for Cena but he gets caught on top. He headbutts his way out though and hits the top rope Fameasser for two. Orton counters the AA attempt into his backbreaker for two as the fans have calmed down a bit. The Elevated DDT off the apron to the floor gets two more on John. Orton’s RKO is countered into the STF but Randy is too close to the ropes. He grabs the ropes to block an AA as well but the refereee gets bumped.

There’s the STF again and Orton taps but there’s no referee. Orton uses the opportunity to nail Cena with a title belt for two. He stands around too long again though and takes an AA for two more. The RKO gets the same and now the fans want Divas. Orton misses the Punt but pulls Cena down into an STF. John counters that into a Crossface but Orton rolls into a cover for two.

Back up and Orton hits Cena with an AA, followed by Cena grabbing an RKO for another near fall. With nothing left to do, Cena loads up a middle rope AA but has to settle for a tornado DDT. The STF goes on in the middle of the ring….we’ve got Wyatts. The lights go out and come back on to reveal all three on the apron. Cena goes after them but walks into an RKO to keep the title on Orton.

Rating: B. This matchup has suffered from brand damage. We’ve seen it so many times over the years that even if the match is good, like it was here, people just do not want to see it. The guys got the crowd to calm down a bit about halfway through the match, but there’s just nothing left to see from these two. They’re both hard workers and try every time they’re out there but the interest is just gone.

The fans chant for Bryan as the Wyatts destroy Cena even more.

Tribute video to the recently passed away Mae Young.

The New Age Outlaws celebrate but tell Renee that she isn’t invited to the party.

We get some classic Rumble promos.

Miz will win because he’ll do whatever it takes to headline Wrestlemania again.

The Usos are cool with having to fight each other.

Intercontinental Champion Big E. says headlining Wrestlemania is where it’s at.

Fandango thinks he’s the only one worthy to headline the big dance.

Batista just says exactly.

Damien Sandow says it’s insane to try the same thing and expect different results. He won’t make the same mistake again.

Ryback says there are 29 superstars and one Human Wrecking Ball.

Mysterio will shock the world again.

The expert panel makes their picks. Duggan likes Ziggler, Shawn goes with Shield or Punk and Flair takes Batista.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals with Punk at #1 (as ordered by Kane) and Seth Rollins at #2. Punk takes him into the corner to start for some shoulders to the ribs. Some kicks stagger Rollins but he comes back with a big kick of his own. A clothesline drops Rollins again but he pops back up with an enziguri. Both guys are down as Damien Sandow is in at #3. The fans loudly chant for Punk as he DDTs Sandow and drops Rollins with a neckbreaker at the same time.

The heels stomp Punk down until Cody Rhodes is in at #4. Cross Rhodes plants Sandow but Rollins stops an elimination attempt. Punk dumps Damien a few seconds later though and it’s time for Rollins to get double teamed. Kane comes in at #5 and cleans Punk’s clock. He loads up the chokeslam but Punk kicks him in the head for a surprise elimination. The debuting Alexander Rusev is in at #6.

Rusev kicks Rollins and Rhodes in the face but can’t eliminate either guy. Instead he just beats everyone up until Jack Swagger is in at #7. It’s Swagger vs. Rusev now but everyone opts to gang up on Rusev instead. Cody and Swagger break off and Kofi Kingston is in at #8. Everyone fights by the ropes until Jimmy Uso is in at #9. The announcers are noticing how fast the clock is going by.

Jimmy goes after Kofi in the corner as Rusev works on Swagger. Punk puts Rusev in a sleeper and Goldust is in at #10, giving us a group of Punk, Rollins, Goldust, Cody, Jimmy, Swagger, Kingston and Rusev. Goldust hammers away until Rusev nails him in the jaw. A group of people gang up on Rusev and dump him out, which isn’t quite a great debut for him. Kofi gets thrown out as well but Rusev catches him in mid air. He drops Kofi on the barricade and it’s time for the great return. Kingston stands up, uses the barricade as a balance beam and jumps back to the apron in a pretty cool save.

US Champion Dean Ambrose is in at #11 and goes right after Punk. Things slow down again and Dolph Ziggler is in at #12. The fans are entirely behind Dolph as the ring is getting too full. Punk has to hang onto the apron as R-Truth comes in at #13, only to be dumped in about thirty seconds by Ambrose. Rollins knocks out Jimmy and Kofi steals Swagger’s boot while literally hanging on by his feet. Jack comes over to him but gets nailed by the boot as Kofi gets back in.

Kevin Nash makes a required return at #14. He eliminates Swagger with ease and goes after Ambrose and Rollins. Punk has Ziggler dangling but Dolph gets his feet back in. Roman Reigns completes the Shield at #15, giving us Punk, Rollins, Rhodes, Kingston, Goldust, Ambrose, Ziggler, Nash and Reigns. Roman cleans house with punches and spears before launching Kofi out.

Ziggler puts Roman down with a DDT but eats a spear to cut him in half. Reigns throws Ziggler out with ease and the fans suddenly hate him. Nash gets the same treatment as Reigns now has three eliminations in less than two minutes. Great Khali is in at #16 and goes after the Shield but gets tossed by Reigns. Goldust eliminates Cody to make up for the last two years but Reigns gets rid of Goldust a second later. That leaves the Shield alone with Punk but Sheamus returns after being out six months with an injury at #17.

Sheamus cleans house and gives Dean the ten forearms followed by an Irish Curse to Rollins. Reigns eats a Brogue Kick as Miz is in at #18. Punk is just laying in the corner and making almost no effort to get back up. Miz hammers away on Reigns in the corner and Fandango is in at #19. The entire crowd starts doing his dance but Miz sends him to the apron in just a few seconds. Fandango gets back in though as Shield slowly takes over again. Reigns motions to Punk in the corner but doesn’t go after him. Punk hasn’t moved from there in at least five minutes now.

El Torito is in at #20, giving us Punk, Rollins, Ambrose, Reigns, Sheamus, Miz, Fandango and Torito. Of course the bull cleans house until Punk stands up. Punk grabs him by the head but takes a headscissors, only to have Fandango run Torito over. The referee checks on Punk as Torito dropkicks Fandango out. Reigns catches Torito with ease and dumps him out for his sixth elimination. Punk gets back up as Cesaro is in at #21. He immediately starts swinging Miz but Shield breaks up a Swing attempt on Punk. Instead Rollins gets swung a ridiculous THIRTY TIMES. Luke Harper is in at #22 as Reigns spears Cesaro down.

Rollins and Cesaro slug it out until Jey Uso is in at #23. The brawling slows down a bit now and JBL is in at #24. Cole: “The JBL character has never entered the Royal Rumble.” Good grief. JBL wears his full suit into the ring but asks Cole to go get his jacket, allowing Reigns to dump him out. Fans: “YOU STILL GOT IT!” Erick Rowan is in at #25 as JBL tries to talk about ANYTHING but being in the Rumble. Rowan kicks Miz out to clear things up a bit but everything slows back down again.

Harper tosses Jey Uso but the Wyatts turn around to see the Shield. Ryback is in at #26 and goes right for Cesaro as the fans chant Goldberg. Alberto Del Rio gets lucky #27 and things slow down yet again. Batista is in at #28 and the fans just rip him apart. He quickly dumps Rowan and has a staredown with Ryback before dumping him as well. Del Rio, the man who has been going after Batista since he returned, superkicks him down but gets lifted into the air and dumped with ease.

Intercontinental Champion Big E. is in at #29 to almost no reaction but the fans like him for suplexing Batista. The fans are chanting for Bryan and get even louder as the countdown clock comes on. The clock runs out….and it’s Rey Mysterio. To say the fans aren’t pleased with this is the understatement of the year. We’re going to pause for a second here and look at this.

First of all, Rey Mysterio is a fine choice for #30 in the Royal Rumble. He’s a multiple time World Champion, he’s held nearly every title in WWE history, he’s going to be in the Hall of Fame one day, he’s the most successful cruiserweight of all time, he’s won the Royal Rumble before and he’s one of the most popular wrestlers ever. However, he’s not the right choice for this spot.

There are two schools of thought here. The first and more prominent is that WWE just did not understand the fans and thought they would accept Batista as the big star making his return and embrace him with open arms. Then they heard the reaction and changed course to make Wrestlemania all about Daniel Bryan. The other school of thought is Bryan not being in the Rumble was planned from the beginning, they knew where they were going at Wrestlemania the entire time and the stories about Orton vs. Batista headlining the show were false rumors. I’m in the middle on that but I lean more towards the second.

Now Bryan didn’t have to win the Rumble here. You could have had a bunch of different ways to get rid of him, even down to having Kane run out and eliminate him if need be. However, he should have been in the main event. It makes sense that he at least has a chance to be in there, even if it’ sjust to get screwed over again.

Anyway, we have a final grouping of Punk, Rollins, Ambrose, Reigns, Sheamus, Cesaro, Harper, Batista, Langston and Mysterio. Rey hurricanranas Punk to the apron as the fans are booing the heck out of the match. Sheamus clotheslines Langston out to end his worthless Rumble. Cesaro hammers on everyone in sight and Rey hits the 619 on Rollins just to make everyone even madder. Rollins enziguris Rey out for a nice pop and we’re down to eight.

Dean and Seth put Harper on the apron but Reigns Superman Punches him out to give him eight eliminations. Ambrose tries to put out his Shield mates but Cesaro jumps he and Rollins. That’s fine with Reigns who dumps Cesaro, Rollins and Ambrose all at once to tie Kane’s record for eliminations in a single Rumble.

We’re down to four now and everyone hits a finisher. Reigns takes the GTS but Kane sneaks in to eliminate Punk. That would be Punk’s last WWE match to date. Kane goes off on Punk outside and chokeslams him through the announcers’ table. We’re down to Sheamus, Batista and Reigns but all three are down. Another Daniel Bryan chant starts up as Batista takes over, turning it into a NO chant.

Sheamus cleans house and points at the sign before loading up a Brogue Kick. He misses Batista though and gets backdropped to the apron. Reigns elbows Sheamus out to set a new Rumble record for eliminations with twelve. That leaves Reigns vs. Batista and all of a sudden everyone is a Reigns fan. Reigns wins a slugout and clotheslines Batista down as the people chant for Roman. Batista comes back with his own horrible spear, only to have Reigns show him how it’s done….and then get thrown out a few seconds later to send Batista to Wrestlemania.

Rating: D. This just wasn’t a very good Rumble though its moments. Batista came in at the wrong time and it killed any kind of comeback he could have had. The fans did not want to see what the company was offering them at this point and they let them know about it. In their defense though, this Rumble was kind of awful. The comedy and returns felt forced, Rusev’s debut went nowhere and they might as well have given it to Batista and put on an hour of Mighty Mouse cartoons to save everyone’s time. It’s not a good match but the crowd reaction is certainly interesting.

Batista is booed out of the building as we see a highlight package to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The Rumble really hurts this show as it drags down two good matches and an entertaining Lesnar squash. The problem is that’s the lasting memory of this show: the fans booing the heck out of Batista as WWE seemed to think he was exactly what WWE wanted. The show isn’t horrible but it leaves a really bad taste in your mouth.

Ratings Comparison

New Age Outlaws vs. Goldust/Cody Rhodes

Original: C
Redo: C

Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt

Original: A
Redo: A

Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show

Original: N/A
Redo: N/A

John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Original: B
Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: B
Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: A
Redo: D+

Well. That’s certainly a new take.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Saturday Night’s Main Event #35
Date: August 18, 2007
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 16,827
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross

It’s time for the annual hour and a half long commercial for Summerslam which makes you want to watch the original run of this series again. This show has nothing advertised outside of an update on who Vince McMahon’s illegitimate child might be. The show doesn’t make a difference anyway but I’m almost worried about what is going to be on here. Let’s get to it.

Vince McMahon and Coach are in the back to recap the illegitimate child deal. Coach has been looking through the roster and thinks he has an idea of who Vince’s child is. Vince has told him about all of his dalliances (which he just has records of I guess), except for this one in Kansas City (where Coach is from), back in the 70s….when Coach was born…..and then put up for adoption. Vince thinks this is going to be a long night.

Opening sequence.

Batista/Kane vs. Great Khali/Finlay

Take two Summerslam matches, put them in a tag match. Finlay and Kane, with his taped up ribs, start things off, with Kane knocking him into the corner. It’s quickly off to Batista, who takes Finlay down by the arm. A MuscleBuster drops Finlay again and we take a break. Back with Khali working on the ribs and putting on the stomach Claw.

Kane fights up but gets kicked in the face to put him right back down. That doesn’t last long though as Finlay gets over for the tag off to Batista as everything breaks down. Khali gets tied in the ropes so here is Hornswoggle…who is launched into Khali’s chest. A double chokeslam puts Khali down and the Batista Bomb finishes Finlay.

Rating: C. Total house show style main event and that’s about as good as you’re going to get. Ultimately, the wrestling isn’t so much the point of this show as much as just seeing these wrestlers doing something to get you ready for Summerslam. They didn’t have another option for the ending either so this was about as good as it could have been done.

Vince McMahon has to know who his kid is….and then he looks in a mirror to turn him into his 80s version. Coach gets Vince out of there so Ron Simmons comes up and catchphrases at his own reflection.

MVP is very happy to see Evander Holyfield here to beat Matt Hardy in a boxing match. Holyfield does seem to know him.

Here are Coach and Vince McMahon for Illegitimate Child Corner. Since DNA tests have taken so long, it is time to find out who the child is. Coach talks about how Vince is man with urges but Vince tells him to GET ON WITH THIS. First up, Vince had a tryst in Kentucky, which brings out Eugene. Vince says that’s not possible, because he slept with a woman, not his cousin. Eugene says his Uncle Eric wanted to get into wrestling because Vince nailed his sister….and that’s enough for Vince to cut him off. Eugene: “I LOVE YOU DAD!”

Vince throws him out so Coach brings in Melina, who might have been conceived when Vince was at a Wrestlemania II after party in Los Angeles. Cue Melina, who looks rather upset. They both insist that it isn’t her, as….apparently they had, ahem, a “meeting” on the Fourth of July. Melina better hope that their meeting was, ahem, harmless, or she’s suing him for everything he has. I think he’ll be fine as Vince was in New York for Wrestlemania II, not Los Angeles.

Anyway, there’s one more person but Coach doesn’t want to bring them out. Vince insists though and the glass shatters, meaning we get that classic Vince panic. Austin thinks Vince could be his pops and he could be the fruit of his loins. The result of what came from Vince’s grapefruits if you will. Vince says there’s no chance of that, which Austin says is too bad.

They never had the chance to play catch, go to a football game, build a go kart or teach him how to water ski. Vince never even got to have that talk about the birds and the bees with him. They didn’t get to have a beer together but Vince has had enough of this. Austin thinks the easy thing would be Stunning Vince, but he would rather help him out with the grapefruits instead, meaning a bunch of low blows. Coach gets the Stunner instead and beer is consumed. Vince pulls himself up and gets a Stunner of his own. This was a few jokes until we got to the Austin/Vince moment and that’s always going to work. The search continues.

John Cena vs. Carlito

Non-title and this is the Big Apple Showdown. Cena tackles him down to start and pounds away with right hands. Carlito is sent outside but manages to pull Cena to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cena hitting the top rope Fameasser for two and the STFU makes Carlito tap in a hurry. Not enough shown to rate but this was almost a Cena squash.

Post match Randy Orton comes in and gives Cena an RKO through an open chair. Cena is out cold and Orton yells at him a lot before staring, evily.

Post break, Randy Orton says that’s just the beginning and he’ll take the WWE Title at Summerslam.

There are a bunch of women at ringside for the boxing match.

Matt Hardy vs. Evander Holyfield

Michael Buffer is here to handle the introductions, including one for MVP, in Holyfield’s corner. Matt is at least wearing headgear to prevent a bad case of destruction. We have two minute rounds and Holyfield knocks him down in about a minute. Hardy gets back up and is down again in about twenty seconds. Somehow he survives again to end the round, with MVP being very pleased. The bell rings for the second round and Holyfield doesn’t want to beat him up anymore. MVP comes in and tells Holyfield to do it, earning himself a knockout. This is about all they could have done and at least they made it fast.

CM Punk/Boogeyman vs. John Morrison/Big Daddy V

ECW actually gets the closing spot. Matt Striker is here with V and they’re moving through the entrances pretty fast. Punk and Morrison start things off with Punk rolling him up for tow. Morrison sends him throat first into the middle rope so Punk clotheslines him over the top to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Boogeyman backdropping Morrison a bit harder than he needed to but Striker’s distraction lets V come in. That means Boogeyman is thrown around this time but he does avoid a charge in the corner. It’s back to Punk with the springboard clothesline to Morrison but he’s back up with a knee to the head. Not that it matters though as Punk grabs a small package for the pin.

Rating: C-. This felt like they were running out of time and had to squeeze everyone in there while they could. I’ll take that over not having the match, though V didn’t do much here, which might be a good thing. Punk gets another boost for his title match and that was the point here.

Commentary sends us to a fast highlight video to wrap up the show.

Overall Rating: C. Keeping in mind that this was just a way to build to a pay per view, it was completely watchable. They probably could have cut this down to an hour instead of an hour and a half, but at least they covered a lot of stuff and had the Vince/Austin deal in the middle. Absolutely not a show you need to see, but it would have been completely acceptable background noise while you fold your neighbor’s towels.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Royal Rumble 2008
Date: January 27, 2008
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City New York
Attendance: 20,798
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

This show is special for a few reasons, not the least of which is the fact that we are in the Garden. That alone is enough to get excited, but the other big story here is the Raw World Title match between Jeff Hardy and Randy Orton, which is so intriguing that it seems to have raised the buys of the show to its highest in a few years. I’m curious to see how well it holds up so let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the Garden and the history of the Royal Rumble. You can’t ask for much more than that.

Ric Flair vs. MVP

MVP’s US Title isn’t on the line but Flair’s career is, which is hardly a fair trade. Before the match, Flair talks about his history in this building and thanks the fans for all of the respect they have given him since his first match here in March 1976. Then MVP’s music cuts him off because WWE knows how to disrespect legends.

Feeling out process to start with Flair working on the arm so MVP shoves him away. That just gets on Flair’s nerves so he hammers away in the corner, earning himself a kick to the face. The chinlock goes on as the fans let MVP know that he sucks. That’s broken up and Flair goes for the leg, only to get stomped down in the corner again.

A running boot in the corner gets three on Flair, but the foot is on the rope for the heart stopping moment. MVP suplexes him for two and superplexes him for the same. Flair gets in a double clothesline for a double knockdown and some rollups get two each. MVP is back with a shot to the throat but the Playmaker is reversed into the Figure Four for the tap.

Rating: C. I’m not wild on the US Champion losing but there is nothing wrong with giving Flair one more win in Madison Square Garden. The Flair retirement tour was a good thing to see as he earned a lot of the respect and farewells, so MVP losing isn’t the worst thing. I can’t imagine MVP minded putting Flair over in this situation either so it isn’t quite worth getting mad about.

Vince McMahon thinks Flair is rather lucky and explains the idea of the luck of the Irish to Hornswoggle, his illegitimate son at the moment. We hear a bit about the McMahon’s history here in the Garden until Finlay comes in to get Hornswoggle out of there before Vince can…..whatever Vince would do with a bearded leprechaun.

We meet the newest member of the Raw announce team: Mike Adamle. Oh boy here we go.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield. Jericho returned with the SAVE US deal but JBL didn’t like the idea and cost him the WWE Title. Now it’s time to come out of retirement for the fight, with JBL even bringing Jericho’s children into the trash talk to make it personal.

Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

If nothing else, it’s weird to see Jericho with the short hair and long tights. Jericho backs him into the ropes to start but JBL gets in a cheap shot as the referee pulls him away. That earns him a running forearm as Jericho is all ticked off here. The Clothesline From JBL misses so Jericho grabs the Walls, sending JBL straight to the rope. They head outside with JBL getting the better of things, meaning it’s time to catapult Jericho throat first into the bottom rope.

The choking ensues, followed by the sleeper to go old school. That’s broken up and Jericho hits his own running clothesline to put them both down. There’s a big boot to drop Jericho again and JBL sends him shoulder first into the post. Jericho comes up bleeding so JBL stomps away at the head in the corner. That earns him some running forearms to the head and the Lionsault connects. A Cactus Clothesline puts them both on the floor, where Jericho BLASTS him with a chair to the head for the DQ.

Rating: B-. This was as intense and emotional as I’ve seen from Jericho in a long time and it was actually a good brawl. JBL is much better suited for something like this and the ending sets up a rematch at No Way Out. Jericho needed this kind of performance to reestablish himself and the blood looked good too.

Post match Jericho beats JBL up even more and chokes him with a camera cord in a similar version of what JBL did to him a few weeks ago.

Ashley Massaro tries to talk to Maria but gets Maria’s boyfriend Santino Marella again. NO, Maria is NOT posing for Playboy!

We recap Edge vs. Rey Mysterio. Edge has hooked up with Vickie Guerrero and has the Edgeheads behind him, making him all the more invincible. Rey Mysterio won a Beat The Clock Challenge to earn the show.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Edge, is defending and has the wheelchair bound Vickie Guerrero and the Edgeheads with him. Edge goes after the arm to start so Rey forearms him in the face for the break (the simple exits often work best). Rey dropkicks him down for an early two and Edge is looking frustrated. A toss to the floor sets up a baseball slide to Rey, meaning the Edgeheads can get in their cheap shots.

Back in and Edge kicks the leg out to knock Rey off the middle rope. That’s enough to give Edge a target and we hit the half crab. Rey limps up for an enziguri before limping into a powerslam to give Edge two. Another leg crank goes on before Edge tries to expose the knee, allowing Rey to come back with the wheelbarrow bulldog.

The good leg kicks Edge in the face for two more and a seated senton gets two more. A top rope double stomp gets another two so Edge kicks him in the face. The spear misses though and it’s a 619 into the frog splash, but Vickie gets up and pulls the referee. Rey tries another 619 but hits Vickie by mistake. That’s enough to distract Rey so the spear can retain the title.

Rating: C+. There wasn’t much drama here but that’s where the Royal Rumble title shot stereotype comes from. Rey did what he does best here by fighting from underneath and giving you some hope spots but Vickie interfering was the big surprise. She’s a great heat machine and Edge surviving as champion as a result is about as good of a way as you could go here.

Mr. Kennedy comes up to a towel clad Ric Flair in the back. Kennedy suggests a match with Flair but here’s Shawn Michaels to glare him off. Shawn: “Imagine a loud mouthed bleach blonde guy with a catchphrase. That’ll never work. These kids today.” Flair knows Shawn will win so here are Batista and HHH, the latter of whom tells Flair to put his pants on (HHH: “I know I’ve said this a million times before.”). Anyway Shawn says the best man will win tonight, and he’ll be wearing the brand new HBK t-shirt, available now at Shop WWE!

Here’s Maria for the Kiss Cam, because that happens at the Royal Rumble. Cue Ashley to say Playboy wants Maria. Cue Santino Marella with someone wearing a sheet over their head. Santino says it’s not happening and makes fun of the New York sports teams. With the LET’S GO GIANTS chant out of the way, Maria asks the fans if they want her to pose. Santino say no again, and brings the sheeted person in. Naturally it’s Big Dick Johnson, in a New England Patriots jersey. Ashley beats him up anyway.

Mike Adamle throws us to a video on Randy Orton vs. Jeff Harvey.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy for the Raw World Title. Orton was born to be a star and has every natural gift there is. He breathes wrestling and was destined to be the best. Then there is Jeff Hardy, who is more of a free spirit and rose to this level because he lives for the moment. There are some great old clips of both of them plus the rest of the Orton family. Hardy beat him in a tag match and keeps diving off of one thing after another, which has made fans believe he has a chance. I was right there with them because this was an excellent build.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy, the Intercontinental Champion (not on the line) is challenging and yes, he could win. A headlock takeover puts Orton down for a quick two and Hardy pulls back hard on the head. That’s reversed into a headscissors but Jeff escapes and hits a basement dropkick for two more. A clothesline puts Orton on the floor and a slingshot dropkick sends him hard into the barricade.

Hardy hits a dive so Orton chills for a bit, only to have Hardy head outside to win a slugout. Back in and Hardy’s springboard attempt is cut off with a dropkick to send him crashing back to the floor. Orton suplexes him on the floor as you can feel the pace slow in a hurry. The stomping and choking ensue back inside but Hardy knocks him outside again. There’s the clothesline from the apron but Hardy misses a charge into the post. The chinlock with the bodyscissors goes on for a good while until Hardy fights up again.

Some running shot to the face set up the Whisper in the Wind for two on Orton and the slingshot dropkick connects in the corner. Orton rolls to the apron before the Swanton can launch and a missile dropkick puts him on the floor again. Hardy isn’t waiting around and moonsaults down onto him for another double knockdown. Back in and Hardy tries the Twist of Fate but Orton reverses into the RKO for the fast pin to retain.

Rating: B. The more I see this match, the more I like it. Hardy was rolling with the high flying and risk taking but the ending made sense: Hardy tried to go with the wrestling and got caught because that’s Orton’s wheelhouse. This gave you the impression that Hardy could win and that was all they needed to do here. Nice job and you could tell that Hardy was more than just a challenger of the month at this point.

Jeff gets a kind of lukewarm standing ovation, but the Garden isn’t the best indication of the masses.

Rumble By The Numbers time!

Rumble By The Numbers:

21 Winners

569 Wrestlers Eliminated

36 Eliminations for Steve Austin, the most ever

11 Royal Rumbles for Shawn Michaels, the most ever

11 Eliminations for Kane, the most in one match

10 Consecutive Royal Rumbles for Kane

3 Times Mick Foley entered in 1998

2 Feet that need to hit the ground for an elimination

1 Woman to have entered, with Chyna

62:12 for Rey Mysterio in 2006, the most ever

:02 For Warlord in 1990, the least ever

3 Wins for Steve Austin, the most ever

#1 Spot, which has produced more winners than #30

1 Winner from #30, the Undertaker in 2007

4 Winners from #27, the most of all time

73% Success rate for winners at Wrestlemania

1 Road to Wrestlemania

Dang I love that thing.

Royal Rumble

Ninety second intervals this year and Michael Buffer is the special ring announcer in one of (if not the) his only appearances for the company. Undertaker is in at #1 and Shawn Michaels is in at #2 because they’re starting big this year (and with the final two from last year’s Rumble). Granted Buffer doesn’t actually say “Shawn Michaels”, instead introducing him as the Heartbreak Kid. Shawn chops away to start but gets sent flying upside down into the corner. A shot to the face puts Undertaker on the apron but he shoves Michaels away.

Santino Marella is in at #3 and lasts as long as you would expect for the first elimination. Shawn chops away even more and hits an atomic drop as Great Khali is in at #4. Undertaker goes straight for him but gets chopped down as the fans give Khali a YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chant. They fight over a chokeslam and Undertaker shoves him out to get us back to two. Hardcore Holly is in at #5 to stomp away at Undertaker in the corner. For some reason Undertaker can’t eliminate Holly and it’s John Morrison in at #6.

Undertaker and Shawn form the Texas Mega Powers but Morrison counters Sweet Chin Music to kick Shawn in the head. Tommy Dreamer is in at #7 and the fans are VERY happy to see him. Dreamer goes after Undertaker but Shawn takes his place to stomp the big man down. Batista is in at #8 to pick things up again, plus toss Dreamer for daring to break up a showdown with the Undertaker.

It’s Hornswoggle in at #9 and he goes straight underneath the ring in a smart move. Everyone brawls around the ring and it’s Chuck Palumbo, as a biker, in at #10. That gives us Undertaker, Shawn, Holly, Morrison, Batista, Hornswoggle and Palumbo for a rather eclectic group. Jamie Noble, currently feuding with Palumbo, is in at #11 and gets knocked out in less than thirty seconds.

Noble’s banged up ribs need some help getting to the back and it’s CM Punk in at #12. The pace picks up until Undertaker clotheslines Punk’s head off. Palumbo and Morrison go after Punk until he tosses Palumbo to clear things out a bit. Cody Rhodes is in at #13 and saves Holly (his partner) and Batista backdrops Shawn. Umaga is in at #14 and tosses Holly in a hurry. Snitsky is in at #15 as they’re flying through these entrants.

Everyone fights by the ropes and it’s the Miz in at #16, meaning we have Miz and Morrison working together. Undertaker and Umaga kick each other on the mat as Shelton Benjamin is in at #17 to snap Miz and Morrison’s throats on top. That earns him Sweet Chin Music for the elimination and it’s Jimmy Snuka in at #18 for the nostalgia pop. Undertaker hurts himself trying the headbutt and it’s Roddy Piper in at #19 for the REAL nostalgia pop. Snuka looks stunned as everyone stops to watch the old guys fight.

Kane is in at #20, giving us Undertaker, Michaels, Morrison, Batista, Hornswoggle (still under the ring), Punk, Rhodes, Umaga, Snitsky, Miz, Snuka, Piper and Kane, which has to be one of the best collections of talent ever in a ring. Kane wastes no time in eliminating Piper and Snuka (they were just there for the one pop anyway so that was all they should have done), much to the fans’ annoyance. Umaga saves Shawn from Undertaker’s chokeslam for some reason and Carlito is in at #21. A Backstabber drops Punk but Cody bulldogs Carlito down.

Mick Foley is in at #22 (big pop) and Undertaker hits a Last Ride on Batista, which isn’t even acknowledged. Mr. Kennedy is in at #23 to a big reaction and some house cleaning. A bit too much trash talk earns him a chokeslam from Undertaker and it’s Big Daddy V in at #24. Undertaker eliminates Snitsky but gets superkicked out by Shawn. Kennedy dumps Shawn and the ring is cleared out in a hurry. Undertaker drives Snitsky through the announcers’ table (or mostly through it) to blow off some steam as Cody and Kennedy tease eliminating each other.

Mark Henry is in at #25 as Hornswoggle comes out to eliminates Miz (still without getting inside). ECW Champion Chavo Guerrero is in at #26 as Kane kicks Morrison out. It’s nice to see the one in one out (or close to it) as it keeps things from getting too clogged up. Henry pulls Hornswoggle in so here’s Finlay, presumably in at #27, for the save. Finlay and Hornswoggle leave without being sent over the top but Finlay is officially disqualified for using the Shillelagh.

Elijah Burke is in at #28 as Batista falls out to the floor without being eliminated. Chavo gets rid of Punk and it’s HHH in at #29. Cody is gone, Big Daddy V is gone and Foley and Burke all go out together as HHH’s hands. HHH punches at everyone he can find, including a Pedigree to Umaga.

The clock is on and……JOHN CENA is in at #30 to blow the roof off the place because he was out with a torn pectoral muscle was wasn’t even certain for Wrestlemania. The Garden is stunned for about ten seconds before realizing that they’re supposed to hate Cena (this really is one of the best surprises the Rumble has ever seen and I smile at it every time). That gives us a final group of Batista, Umaga, Kane, Carlito, Kennedy, Henry, Guerrero, HHH and Cena, which is not too shabby.

Cena goes after Henry and the fans are actually buzzing for a change. Carlito and Henry get tossed by Cena, who goes nose to (large) nose with HHH. The slugout goes to Cena until HHH catches him with a spinebuster. Batista is back in to get rid of Kennedy and Umaga. Kane is tossed out by Batista and HHH, leaving us with Batista, HHH and Cena. HHH tells both of them to suck it and the fight is on. Cena backdrops his way out of a Batista Bomb attempt and Batista is clotheslined out, leaving us with two.

The BOO/YAY slugout it on with Cena getting the better of it and initiating the finishing sequence. The AA is escaped and there’s a double clothesline to put both of them down. Back up and HHH escapes another AA before grabbing a DDT for two. The Pedigree is countered so Cena tries the AA again. That’s broken up as well so Cena grabs it one more time and finally tosses HHH to win.

Rating: B+. I like this one more every time I see it with the Cena return being one of the best things the Rumble has ever done. The rest of the match was very well booked with the big star, the great nostalgia for Piper/Snuka/Foley and enough top names throughout to keep anything from getting dull. They had the right balance here and I had a really good time with the whole thing.

Cena celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. I’ve seen this one a few times now and I don’t remember liking it this much. Maybe it’s how bad the modern stuff would get but this was a show where they did their thing each time, had everything working as it should have and then finished it up with a really good Rumble. It set up an underrated Wrestlemania too and after this, I can’t say I’m surprised. Very good show here and worth a look if you haven’t seen it in a bit.

Ratings Comparison

Ric Flair vs. MVP

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: C

2021 Redo: C

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Jericho

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D+

2021 Redo: B-

Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: B

2021 Redo: C+

Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: B-

2021 Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: C+

2021 Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: C

2021 Redo: B+

Well dang man. Was I in a really good mood today or something? And this is the first time I’ve ever liked JBL vs. Jericho? Really?

Here is the original if you are interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2021/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-2008-original-the-big-surprise/

And the 2013 Redo:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2021/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-2008-2013-redo-it-keeps-getting-better/

And the 2019 Redo:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2021/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-2008-2019-redo-thats-a-trio/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Royal Rumble 2007
Date: January 28, 2007
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield

This one has had an interesting build with the Royal Rumble itself only getting a quick build a the end. That being said, this is the kind of show that doesn’t really need to have anything set up for the main event to work, so it actually works for a change. We also have Batista defending the Smackdown Title against Mr. Kennedy and John Cena defending the Raw World Title against Umaga in a Last Man Standing match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the history of the Rumble itself, including some classic winners. This year’s card gets some attention of its own.

Hardys vs. MNM

Melina is here with MNM (hence why it isn’t NM or MN) and this is about revenge after Matt Hardy destroyed Joey Mercury’s nose at Armageddon. An early Mercury distraction lets Nitro get in a cheap shot on Matt and the alternating beatdown is on in the corner. Matt isn’t having any of that and comes back to bring Jeff in. Nitro kicks him down as well but it’s an atomic drop into the legdrop between the legs to give Jeff two.

Mercury tries to come in but gets suplexed down but Nitro gets in a right hand to Matt’s jaw to take over. The cravats holds Matt in place and Mercury adds a shot to the face for two. We hit the chinlock from Mercury but he misses a middle rope elbow. That’s enough to bring Jeff back in to pick up the pace, including the Whisper in the Wind for two on Nitro. A double suplex puts Nitro down to set up the legdrop/splash combo, but the raised knees put Jeff in trouble.

The waistlock holds Jeff down and a double gutbuster makes it even worse. Nitro grabs a bodyscissors with a chinlock before switching to a front facelock. Jeff manages to fight over, but, of course, the referee doesn’t see the tag (it’s amazing how consistently inconsistent these referees can be). Back up and Jeff manages the mule kick to bring Matt in for the real house cleaning. A middle rope elbow to the back of the head gets two on Nitro as everything breaks down. The Twist of Fate hits Nitro and, with Matt driving Mercury outside, the Swanton gives Jeff the pin.

Rating: B. Pretty solid tag match here and that shouldn’t be a surprise given who was in there. They didn’t do anything overly complicated or flashy here but what mattered was they did things well enough to make it work.

Teddy Long and Jonathan Coachman are in the back to keep an eye on the Royal Rumble drawings with Kelly Kelly there to turn the tumbler. Edge comes in to mock her a bit but here’s Randy Orton to say he tossed Edge over the top last week. They both draw and Orton says “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” King Booker comes in to tell Orton to say he didn’t just say that. Eh kind of funny.

Video on Test, who lost to Bobby Lashley on ECW in a non-title match.

ECW World Title: Test vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is defending and this doesn’t make sense after watching ECW either. Test powers him into the corner to start so Lashley hits a spear, sending Test straight to the ropes for some safety. A t-bone suplex sends Test outside where he manages to post Lashley to take over. Back in and we hit the chickenwing, followed by an armbar to stay on the bad arm. Lashley tries to fight up for the comeback but the arm gives out on the gorilla press attempt. The TKO is countered though and an overhead belly to belly suplex sends Test flying. It’s enough to make Test walk out for the countout.

Rating: D. I’ve seen worse power matches but we just went from Lashley beating him clean on ECW to winning via countout here. I’m not sure what is next for Lashley, but this was quite the waste of time. They really can’t have Lashley pin Test twice in a week? Test has to be even remotely protected on this stage?

Lashley beats Test up again post match.

John Cena is banged up when Vince McMahon comes in to mock him for having an abdominal injury. Cena won’t vacate the title, but Vince can’t see him….as champion after tonight.

We recap Mr. Kennedy vs. Batista for the Smackdown World Title. Kennedy won a Beat The Clock Challenge to win the title shot, but he has also made Undertaker want to kill him. Kennedy has beaten a bunch of World Champions so now it’s time to become one himself.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Mr. Kennedy

Kennedy is challenging and gets thrown down a few times to start. That’s broken up in a hurry as Kennedy grabs a rollup for two. Batista’s suplex gets two and it’s already time to head outside. Kennedy sends him back first into the steps but Batista is right back inside with some shots to the face. We go intelligent with Kennedy attacking the knee to slow Batista down. There’s a cannonball down onto the knee for two, setting up something like a reverse Figure Four.

The rope is grabbed and Kennedy’s nose was busted open somewhere in there. Another kick to the leg gets two and Kennedy grabs a half crab. Batista powers out and snaps off the spinebuster, only to bang up the knee even more. The Batista Bomb is countered with another shot to the knee, causing Batista to bump the referee. Kennedy hits a DDT a delayed two so frustration sets in. That’s enough for Kennedy to go up, only to get clotheslined out of the air. Now the Batista Bomb can retain the title.

Rating: C. This felt like a house show main event and that isn’t the worst thing. Kennedy is someone who is going to steal most of the wins he gets and it would be a bit much to believe that he is going to beat Batista in a straight match. The leg thing was fine and the match wasn’t bad, but it was the definition of the Royal Rumble throwaway title shot.

Batista poses for a good bit.

Ariel and Kevin Thorn think their Royal Rumble number is in the cards. The Leprechaun comes in and growls a lot while picking. Coach hopes it isn’t a small number and gets bitten n the ear. Then the Leprechaun meets Great Khali and runs off, leaving Khali to draw three numbers. Kelly picks up the two that Khali drops and Ron Simmons comes in for the joke.

We recap John Cena vs. Umaga. Cena gave him his first loss in a miracle win at New Year’s Revolution so now it’s a Last Man Standing match so Cena can’t escape with a win. Umaga crushed Cena’s ribs on Raw so Cena is very banged up coming in.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga

Umaga, with Armando Alejandro Estrada, is challenging and this is Last Man Standing. They stare each other down to start and Cena slugs away to little avail. Instead it’s a shot to the bad ribs to put Cena down on the floor as the beating begins. Cena is sent hard into the steps and Umaga shrugs off being rammed face first into the apron. Back in and Umaga hits him with a heck of a clothesline and it’s time to bring in the steps as Cena pulls himself up.

Somehow Cena manages to pick the tosses them down onto Umaga for a nasty/scary crash. A bearhug into a belly to belly lets Umaga grab more steps, which are stood up in the corner. The running Umaga attack only hits steps though and Cena hits him in the face with the steps for a seven. Cena’s high crossbody is countered into the spinning release Rock Bottom and Umaga goes simple by sitting on his chest.

Another attempt is countered with some raised knees though and Cena plants him onto the steps for a breather. The Shuffle, with Umaga still on the steps, connects but an FU attempt collapses with both of them landing on the steps. Cena is busted open so Umaga hammers away, triggering whatever Cena calls Hulking Up. Since Umaga isn’t an 80s monster, he grabs a Samoan drop to plant Cena again. The Samoan Spike is blocked so Umaga ties him in the Tree of Woe.

The running headbutt misses though and Cena hits the top rope Fameasser. One heck of a TV monitor shot to the head gives Cena eight so he knocks Umaga outside. That’s fine with Umaga, who posts Cena hard. With Cena laid down on the ECW announcers’ table, Umaga gets a running start and splashes….well only the table actually. Umaga is back up at nine and runs Cena over again as Estrada unhooks the top rope. A charging turnbuckle shot gets countered into an FU and Cena grabs the STFU with the rope wrapped around Umaga’s throat to put him out and retain.

Rating: A-. This is a heck of a fight and an underrated Cena classic. These guys beat the fire out of each other and it was a mixture of Cena fighting with power, surviving until he had an opening and then getting smart. I liked this a lot and it’s definitely worth a look if you want to see two big, strong men fighting each other for a long time in one of the better Last Man Standing matches.

Sandman has a beer and picks one of the last two numbers. Ric Flair comes in, picks the last number, and gets hit on by Kelly Kelly. The rest of Extreme Expose comes in and dances with Flair…who leaves so the three of them can dance by themselves.

History package on the Royal Rumble.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals with Ric Flair in at #1 (Flair was in five Rumbles and entered #1 twice, #3, #5 and #30. That is downright amazing luck) and Finlay in at #2 for a match which would only happen once in a singles match. Finlay shoulders him down to start and shrugs off some shots to the face to set up a backdrop. It’s too early to toss Flair out so he strikes away until Kenny Dykstra is in at #3. That means a double teaming on Flair but the alliance lasts all of five seconds (a long time in the Rumble) and everyone brawls again.

Matt Hardy is in at #4 to go after Dykstra before switching off to Finlay. Edge is in at #5 to pick up the pace but gets taken down in a hurry. Flair goes for some chairs for the sake of revenge but gets tossed out by Edge. Dykstra is out as well and it’s Tommy Dreamer in at #6. Matt can’t get rid of Edge and Dreamer can’t get rid of Finlay either. Sabu is in at #7 and goes for a table instead of getting inside. He finally does get in for a springboard tornado DDT to Dreamer as Gregory Helms (and his song says so) is in at #8. Helms almost eliminates Hardy and it’s Shelton Benjamin in at #9 as the ring is starting to fill up.

Hardy has to avoid being sent through the table at ringside before trying to do the same to Benjamin. Kane is in at #10 and gets rid of Dreamer and Sabu, the latter being chokeslammed through a table. With the two of them gone, we have Finlay, Hardy, Edge, Helms, Benjamin and Kane. CM Punk is in at #11 and goes after Edge to little avail thanks to a save from Finlay. King Booker is in at #12 and Helms is tossed out in a hurry. Brawling ensues and it’s Super Crazy in at #13.

Kane starts cleaning house again and Booker teases throwing Finlay out, with Finlay circling back to the middle of the ring in a smart move. Jeff Hardy is in at #14 so the Hardys get together for some shots on various people. Poetry In Motion hits Kane and it’s the Sandman in at #15. The entrance takes a good while and the cane shots about….until Booker tosses him in less than fifteen seconds. Randy Orton is in at #16 and I think we have a focal point of the match.

Rated-RKO get rid of Crazy and then toss the Hardys without much trouble. Chris Benoit is in at #17 and it’s time to German suplex a bunch of people. Rob Van Dam is in at #18 as the star power is pretty high at the moment. Van Dam kicks Booker in the face and Kane tosses him out, only to have Booker come back in and toss Kane as well. Cole: “THIS IS RIDICULOUS!” Speaking of ridiculous, Viscera is in at #19 as JBL and Cole argue about Booker coming back in to toss Kane.

Johnny Nitro is in at #20, giving us Finlay, Edge, Benjamin, Punk, Orton, Benoit, Van Dam, Viscera and Nitro. Benoit gets Benjamin about as close to out as you can but he hangs on by just part of one foot. Kevin Thorn is in at #21 and it’s more mindless brawling. Hardcore Holly is in at #22 as the ring is way too full. Everyone goes after Viscera and Shawn Michaels (the hometown boy) is in at #23 to knock Finlay out.

Everyone gets together to toss Viscera and Shawn dumps Benjamin as well. Chris Masters is in at #24 and Benoit knocks Nitro out. Chavo Guerrero is in at #25 as Benoit gets rid of Thorn. Van Dam goes up, looks around for someone to kick, and then gets back down. MVP is in at #26 and is promptly double teamed by Benoit and Michaels. Van Dam dropkicks Masters out and it’s Carlito in at #27, with Cole explaining the lucky history.

Some double teaming can’t get rid of Shawn and it’s Great Khali in at #28. Everyone gets ready for him and they are all knocked down, with only Holly being tossed. Miz is in at #29 (JBL: “Don’t worry King, I hate him too.”) and is out in about three seconds. Khali gets rid of Van Dam and Punk too, followed by Carlito and Guerrero. Shawn gets up to try Khali and is double chokeslammed down. Khali is the only one standing….and it’s the Undertaker in at #30 as the fans are WAY into it again. That leaves us with Edge, Orton, Michaels, MVP, Khali and Undertaker.

The showdown is on with Undertaker winning a slugout and clotheslining Khali out to get us down to five. Old School (one of the dumbest things you can do in the Rumble) hits MVP and he is gone too, but he hands Orton a chair to blast Undertaker. Edge teases a spear to Orton but the chair scares him off. An RKO to Shawn puts him underneath the bottom rope so it’s time to double team the busted open Undertaker. That doesn’t last long as Undertaker hits the running corner clotheslines and it’s Snake Eyes into the big boot to Edge.

Orton gets caught in the chokeslam with Edge breaking it up with a spear. Another chair shot to the head cuts Undertaker down so it’s time for the Conchairto. Shawn is back up though and backdrops Orton out, followed by a superkick to Edge to get us down to two. They’re both down so Undertaker sits up and Shawn nips up for an awesome visual as you can feel this one. Shawn hammers away in the corner but gets shoved away twice. Now it’s Undertaker’s turn to unload in the corner, setting up the upside down whip into the corner.

The big boot misses and Undertaker falls to the apron. Shawn’s running charge is cut off by an elbow and Undertaker gets back in, where Shawn catches him with a swinging neckbreaker. Cole calls them perhaps the two biggest stars in the history of WWE and I’ll ignore that one because this is pretty awesome. Undertaker lifts him out to the apron but Shawn goes up top, only to get punched in the face.

For some reason Undertaker goes up with him until Shawn knocks him back down. The top rope elbow hits Undertaker again but Sweet Chin Music is countered into a chokeslam. Shawn slips off the shoulder though and now Sweet Chin Music can connect to put both of them down. Another Sweet Chin Music is loaded up (ala how Shawn eliminated Diesel in 1996) but Undertaker ducks him to toss Shawn and win, making him the first #30 entrant to pull it off.

Rating: B-. The ending alone is enough to make this worth seeing as it’s probably the best ending ever to a Rumble. Other than that, you had a feeling where a lot of people could win and that’s one of the keys to a good Rumble. What isn’t a key to a good one is having that many people in the ring at once, which was the case multiple times here. The problem is getting to the ending, but that is some straight magic between two people who knew how to crank up the drama. You could go back and forth on the winner, but I’m a sucker for that final pairing.

Shawn looks crushed (and the fans seem to be as well) as Undertaker poses a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Much like the Rumble itself, the last part of the show (in this case the last two matches) are enough to make the show work, plus a rather good tag match and a watchable Kennedy vs. Batista match. The one part lacking is Lashley vs. Test, with all seven minutes of it being pretty bad. This was a rather good show, with a Cena vs. Umaga being an underrated classic.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Smackdown
Date: August 17, 2007
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

The reign of the Great Khali continues as we are nine days away from Summerslam. I’m curious to see where they are going with the rest of the card, but Khali has already massacred Batista with the Claw. With the main event set, we could use some build for a few more of the matches. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is MVP for the first episode of his VIP Lounge talk show. MVP talks about being better than you and challenging Matt Hardy to face him in a boxing match at Madison Square Garden on Saturday Night’s Main Event. However, MVP has to back out due to his heart condition, but he has a replacement: the only four time World Heavyweight Champion, Evander Holyfield.

This brings out Matt Hardy as the show’s first guest, with Matt talking about how he has beaten MVP in arm wrestling and a wrestling match, but now MVP is running again. MVP again brings up his heart condition but Matt says it’s the lack of a heart. Matt is fine with fighting Holyfield, but MVP has a challenge for him tonight.

That would be the Masterlock Challenge, with Chris Masters and a referee coming out. Before we get started, Matt punches Masters in the face but the hold is finally put on. MVP does commentary as Matt starts blacking out and then gets in the ring to kick Matt down to cut off the comeback. The villains go to leave but come back in for the Playmaker and trash talk to Matt.

We recap Vince McMahon finding out that he has an illegitimate child on the roster.

Vince is here, in a peach colored jacket, with Coach, who has been put in charge of checking the roster to find out who Vince’s child might be. The ECW roster has been checked off the list, save for Big Daddy V. Vince thinks it’s a possibility, but wants everyone here tonight checked too.

Jesse and Festus with they could be Vince’s son. Well Jesse does, while Festus (who Jesse thinks looks like Vince) stares a lot.

Deuce N Domino vs. Major Brothers

Non-title. Domino shrugs off a wristlock to start so it’s off to Brian for some more success on the arm. There’s a double flapjack to Domino but it’s quickly off to Deuce to take over on Brett. The chinlock with a knee in the back makes it worse, setting up Domino’s neckbreaker for two. A suplex finally gets Brett out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Brian to clean house. Brian hits a spinebuster for two but misses a high crossbody. Deuce cracks him in the mouth for the pin.

Rating: C. I’m not sure if there is a tag team division at the moment but it’s nice to see another team getting the chance to crack into the title picture. Deuce N Domino have no one to fight for the belts at the moment so why not see what the Majors can do in the spot? It’s not like there is anyone else at the moment so work with what you have.

Vince McMahon and Coach are in Teddy Long’s office to offer best wishes on Teddy and Kristal’s wedding. Great Khali and Runjin Singh come in to yell about having to face Kane tonight. Teddy says get over it but Vince isn’t sure about Khali’s parentage. He seems to like the idea though and did have that one time in India.

Chuck Palumbo still likes motorcycles.

We recap Kane and Finlay attacking each other last week.

Finlay vs. Jamie Noble

Finlay powers him into the corner to start and then does it again, only to have Noble slug away. Noble manages to knock him outside but Finlay is right back in to work on the leg. A slam sends Noble’s leg into the ropes and the half crab goes on. An Indian Deathlock makes it worse….and here is Kane to go after Finlay for the DQ.

Rating: C. They didn’t have time to do much here but it was good while it lasted. Noble was little more than a comedy guy at the moment but he was able to have a good match with just about anyone. That being said, this was all about setting up Finlay vs. Kane, likely for Summerslam, and that should be a good fight.

Post match the brawl is on but here is Hornswoggle to shove Noble into Kane’s bad ribs. Kane chokeslams Noble and Finlay escapes.

Rey Mysterio is coming back at Summerslam.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Shannon Moore

Chavo still has the Rey Mysterio mask from last week. Moore gets taken down to start and charges into an elbow in the corner. A running headscissors sends Chavo outside but he is ready for the dive, instead suplexing Moore into the post. Back in and a stretch muffler keeps Moore in trouble but he pops out and is fine enough to hit a Whisper in the Wind. The Gory Bomb is countered into a sunset flip for two, only to have Chavo come back with a brainbuster for the pin.

Rating: D+. What the heck was that? I don’t know what Shannon was going for here but Chavo worked on the knee for a bit and Moore hopped up to hit a big flip off the top. I can forgive a bit of no selling but what’s the point of Chavo posting the leg and then working on it if that’s the reaction he is going to get? Not a good match, and that’s because of Moore in this case.

Post match Chavo puts the mask on Moore and gives him a frog splash to the knee.

Here is Batista for a chat. He admits that he is a little grouchy but he has had all week to stew about what happened. Last week, Great Khali crushed Ric Flair’s skull and treated him like a piece of dirt. That freak wrapped those hands around his head like a vice grip and that has never happened to Batista before. Right here and right now, he is promising himself and Flair that….and never mind as here is Khali on screen to interrupt.

Khali demonstrates what is coming for Batista at Summerslam by popping a basketball. Batista goes on a rant about how basketballs don’t hold grudges, which makes it sound like he is feuding with the ball. A ticked off Batista is a good thing but I’m not sure how well the title match is going to go.

Vince McMahon and Coach keep going over the idea of Vince being Khali’s dad, but Coach thinks Batista might have gotten his great physique from McMahon too. Vince seems to improve….and here is Big Dick Johnson dressed as a baby for some dancing. With Vince turning his back, Coach starts dancing too because he’s a goof at heart.

Mark Henry vs. Greg Cardona

Cardona goes for a waistlock to start and gets tossed down in a hurry. Henry throws him to the floor with no trouble and then stands on his head back inside. A backbreaker sets up a World’s Strongest Slam and a bearhug to give Henry the squash win. Cardona is better known as Trent Beretta, but I wonder if he was borrowing the future Zack Ryder’s real last name.

Post match Henry goes on a rant about Undertaker’s druid coming out last week and suggesting that Undertaker was coming back. We see another clip of Henry wrecking Undertaker and, just like last week, the feed is hacked to hint that Undertaker is coming back at Unforgiven. Then the gong goes off and there is a small pile of sand in the aisle. Henry picks it up, lets it fall through his fingers, and that’s it.

Torrie Wilson and Michelle McCool are going to be the bridesmaids in the wedding. Victoria comes in and is really glad that she’ll be one too, but that isn’t happening. Victoria slaps Michelle, who slaps Kenny Dykstra instead. Teddy Long makes the match for tonight.

Jimmy Wang Yang and Funaki come up to Vince McMahon to suggest they are his son. Vince says he wasn’t in Japan long, but here is Kane to laugh and call Vince dad.

Michelle McCool vs. Victoria

Kenny Dykstra is here too. Victoria yells at her to start and gets thrown to the floor for her efforts. Back in and Victoria takes her down without much trouble and rips at Michelle’s face. The top wristlock keeps Michelle in trouble as commentary talks about a bunch of celebrities weddings. Michelle comes back with some armdrags and kicks Victoria down, setting up a middle rope clothesline for the pin.

Rating: D+. The division continues to be in a weird place as they have these random setups for a match every week and then get about five minutes at most. You can only get so far on something like that and I think we’re at that point now. I’m not sure what they can do without more wrestlers or something to fight over, but that needs to be figured out.

HHH is coming back at Summerslam.

Summerslam rundown.

Vince McMahon and Coach are about to leave but here is Howard Finkel of all people to suggest he might be the son. Vince shoves him away.

Great Khali vs. Kane

Non-title, Runjin Singh is here with Khali and Kane has bad ribs. Khali goes after the ribs to start but gets knocked outside where Kane can hit an uppercut. Back in and Khali knocks him out of the air, allowing him to hammer on the ribs again. We hit a rib claw, but since that’s just putting a hand on his ribs, Kane is able to fight up and pound away in the corner. The chokeslam is countered with the Claw though and Kane finally goes down for the pin.

Rating: D. I know he can only do so much, but Khali rubbing the side of Kane’s stomach for a good chunk of the match is not exactly thrilling television. The Claw vs. choke deal at the end was just about the only thing they needed to do here but it was a rough way to get there. Khali is showing how limited he is here and that is making it hard to watch.

Post match here is Finlay to go after Kane again but Batista runs in to go after Khali. Finlay gets speared down again but Khali head vices Batista out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. There were good and bad parts here, with Vince getting to interact with a bunch of people and that is always going to work. The rest of the show was up and down at best, with some of the matches being little better than dreadful. The good thing is that Summerslam is mostly set, but the idea of Batista vs. Khali in a big match has the potential to be a train wreck. Smackdown has been trending down since Khali won the title and that is making this show rougher every week.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Royal Rumble 2005
Date: January 30, 2005
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz

We’re finally to one of the more important shows ever and the main event is a two horse race. This is clearly the year of John Cena or Batista and either one is a great option to win. They’re owning their shows right now and both of them seem to be locks to walk out of Wrestlemania with the World Titles. Predictable does not mean bad though and that seems to be the case here. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at great Rumble endings as a clock counts down. After it reaches zero, we see….well more of the same actually but there are so many historic Rumble moments that it works just fine.

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Nothing wrong with a grudge match. Edge blames Shawn for him not winning the World Title and has taken out some aggression on him. They get started fast with Shawn clotheslining him to the floor and skinning the cat so the vest can come off. Back in and the announcers argue over whether or not Shawn is a champion hog. Edge gets in a swinging neckbreaker and the fans are all over him early on.

A Thesz press and right hands let Shawn throw him over the top for a nice mini moment. Shawn’s baseball slide misses though and it’s the Edge-O-Matic on the floor to knock him silly. Back in again and the fans stay behind Shawn as they’re certainly loyal. Edge gets two off a sitout powerbomb so it’s off to a rear naked choke. Well a chinlock with a bodyscissors because it’s Edge but close enough.

It’s switched to a regular chinlock and a slam, allowing Edge to strike Shawn’s pose. Shawn is annoyed but walking into a big boot makes it even worse. A clothesline takes Shawn down again as he can’t get anything going here. Another chinlock is broken up in a hurry and Shawn scores with a knee lift and some atomic drops. Ten right hands in the corner set up the catapult for two but Shawn has to stop Edge from walking out. It’s either a ruse or bad timing though as Edge gets in the spear on the floor.

Shawn beats the count back in and Edge….dances? That’s certainly a new one. What isn’t a new one is the spear (complete with tuning up the band, though JR insists that Edge has no band), which only gets two. A superplex is broken up though and Shawn drops the big elbow. Sweet Chin Music is countered into an electric chair drop (nice counter) and the Edgecator goes on. Shawn makes the long and slow crawl to the rope (Lawler: “He was going to tap and the rope happened to be there!”) but Edge grabs a rollup and a rope for the cheating pin.

Rating: B. It’s a nice mixture of action and storytelling here as the match was good and edge cheated to win, which is what makes perfect sense for him. Edge hit everything he had on Shawn to try and win clean and then went with the cheating to put him away. That’s exactly what Edge would do because he’s so obsessed with getting a win so well done on the opener.

Eric Bischoff and Theodore Long argue over which brand will win the Rumble. With that out of the way, we get Torrie Wilson and Christy Hemme to stand there while wrestlers come in to draw their numbers. Ric Flair and Eddie Guerrero come in first with Flair dancing and having the girls blow on his ball (make your own jokes). Flair is thrilled with his number so Eddie hugs him without drawing his own number. For the sake of convenience, Flair checks his number again and finds a bad one. The chase is on.

Heidenreich is freaking out over caskets when Gene Snitsky comes in. They like each other and Snitsky has an idea. The tone of voices sound like…..never mind.

We recap Heidenreich vs. Undertaker. Heidenreich is the latest monster and Undertaker has beaten him a few times but since WWE can’t just let him go, we get a casket match. As luck would have it, Heidenreich is terrified of caskets so he’s been running around in panic for weeks now. What a great way to present a monster.

Heidenreich vs. Undertaker

Casket match of course with druids bringing the casket out. Undertaker grabs a headlock and starts dragging Heidenreich towards the casket so at least he’s going smart early on. An armdrag into an armbar has Heidenreich close to the casket again as you can see a lot of empty seats popping up. Undertaker switches to the leg with a half crab so Heidenreich crawls to the rope, which is in front of the casket. No one ever accused him of making sense.

They head outside with Undertaker going face first into the casket as Heidenreich still isn’t coming off as interesting. Back in and Heidenreich hammers away in the corner while shouting that this is his world. Undertaker seems to disagree by grabbing a triangle choke on the top rope. Cue the taped up Snitsky to make the save and the double teaming is on. The casket is opened and Kane wakes up from his nap to pop out and make the second save.

Kane and Snitsky fight into the crowd as Heidenreich kicks the casket up the aisle. Undertaker goes knees first into the steps and it’s time to peel back the mats so we can get more violent. Heidenreich crushes him with the casket and it’s a cobra clutch to knock Undertaker out. Undertaker goes into the casket but keeps an arm out so the comeback can start.

The apron legdrop onto the casket onto Heidenreich gets the fans back into things but Undertaker walks into the swinging Boss Man Slam. Heidenreich covers due to general numbskulledness and Undertaker makes another comeback, this time with a bad looking running DDT. The chokeslam and Tombstone finish Heidenreich.

Rating: D. It’s not good, but this could have been a lot worse. Heidenreich got in some offense and didn’t feel as much like a chore to watch this time around, but this feud was done a month ago. The Kane and Snitsky stuff was pretty early on so the match was almost divided in half with a short piece in the middle. Somehow, we’ll call this better than expected, though that’s not the highest expectation.

Long demands Eddie give Flair’s number back and Evolution comes in to make it happen. Eddie gives it back and almost gets away with Flair’s wallet. With Eddie gone, HHH wants to talk to Batista about the Randy Orton match but Batista wants to go get his number first. HHH says NOW and Flair has to intervene.

Long comes back in to see Bischoff as Christian and Tyson Tomko are ready to draw their numbers. Christian and Tomko say they both signed a petition to get rid of Long and then draw. As Christian is happy, here’s John Cena to interrupt. Cena to Bischoff: “Loved you in Boogie Nights.” Christian wants a battle rap of all things and tells Tomko to give him a beat. Tomko: “No.” Christian manages to rhyme Transylvania with Wrestlemania but Cena goes with the gay jokes to win the audience’s approval.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is defending. Angle chills on the floor to start and JBL actually starts swinging at Show. That’s quite courageous of him. Stupid as it works as well as you would expect, but courageous. Show catches him with a slam out of the corner and the legdrop gets two with Angle making a fast save. That’s fine with Show, who is right back up and knocks the two of them outside.

JBL gets posted and the power of the big hips knock Angle away as it’s all Show in the early going. Show sets up the steps next to the announcers’ and I don’t see this ending well. The super chokeslam is loaded up but Angle hits him low, setting up a monitor shot to knock Show through the table. Angle and JBL get back in with Angle grabbing an armbar, which feels a little out of place a giant just fell off the steps and through a table.

Some German suplexes fit the bill a bit better but the Angle Slam is escaped. JBL’s big boot gets two but Show is back in with a double clothesline. Show starts throwing the two of them around and another double clothesline connects for good measure. A double chokeslam is broken up though and it’s a Clothesline From JBL/chop block from Angle to put the giant down again. Angle is smart enough to hit a quick German suplex to drop the champ, followed by an Angle Slam to Show for no cover as Angle’s back is hurt.

Show is back up with a chokeslam for two, followed by a tackle to put JBL through the barricade. That leaves Angle in the ring with a chair but a charge lets Show flapjack him onto it. Cue Jindrak and Reigns to go after Show as the Cabinet is here to put JBL on a stretcher. Show fights the two of them up the aisle, leaving Jordan to throw JBL back inside. The Clothesline From JBL puts Angle down to retain the title.

Rating: B. Another rather good match here and that’s not a surprise whatsoever after what has been a really good story. These three had an odd chemistry together and the match was a lot better than it probably should have been. If nothing else it was nice to not have the goons get involved until the end, and even then it was just for a distraction. JBL’s title reign continues to be far better than he’s given credit for with a match that was actually a lot of fun to watch.

Carlito tries to get Batista to sign his petition but a threat of violence gets rid of that. Batista goes in to draw his number as Bischoff and Long argue over World Title matches. Long says there is going to be a bunch of interference so Bischoff bans Evolution from ringside. Batista wants to tell HHH himself and seems very happy.

Wrestlemania XXI trailer featuring Eugene as Forrest Gump. I loved these things and most of them were rather clever.

We recap HHH vs. Randy Orton. HHH won the World Title back inside the Elimination Chamber, including pinning Orton. It took Batista’s help though so Orton beat Batista in a #1 contenders match to earn the shot. Orton is a complete lame duck challenger as the fans have moved on to Batista and everyone but Orton seems to know it.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is defending and Evolution is barred from ringside. Orton slaps him in the face to get things going and a backslide gets an early two. A rather high backdrop looks to set up a very early RKO so HHH bails to the floor, allowing Orton to take him down out there instead. Back in and Orton grabs Snake Eyes but the RKO is countered with a toss over the top and what could have been a scary looking landing.

A ram into the steps makes it worse for Orton and the RANDY SUCKS chants are just downright mean. HHH goes after the knee, which was attacked on Raw and not brought up until now. We go to the Ric Flair knee work package, including the Figure Four. The hold stays on for over a minute until HHH slaps him in the face, causing Orton to turn it over, albeit right into the ropes.

They head outside again with HHH being thrown over the announcers’ table, which isn’t exactly a big deal this time. Instead Orton takes him back inside for the backbreaker and the assorted punches in the corner. The high crossbody gets two but HHH gets in a knee. The Pedigree is countered so HHH hits the jumping knee to the face for two. Another Pedigree attempt doesn’t work so Orton blasts him with a clothesline. Orton slugs away in the corner but a grab of the rope blocks a DDT.

That’s enough to send Orton outside and the referee threatens to stop the match because Orton looks out of it. Instead Orton gets back in but HHH crashes into both of them for the ref bump. The sledgehammer is brought out but Orton trips him face first into the post. Orton can’t follow up though and it’s a hard clothesline to take him down again. The Pedigree retains the title in a finish that sums up Orton’s entire face run.

Rating: C-. That ending was terrible as Orton never even got in the big hope spot. Instead it was Orton getting knocked silly, not being able to do anything but keep himself from getting hit by the sledgehammer and then falling to the Pedigree anyway. These two seem incapable of having a really good match together and that was the case again here. As mentioned, Orton had no chance so it’s far from some miscarriage of justice, but it was disappointing.

Kurt Angle steals Nunzio’s Rumble spot under the threat of violence.

The drunken Cabinet comes in to Long/Bischoff’s office. Long isn’t happy and makes JBL vs. Big Show in a barbed wire cage match for No Way Out. That’s quite the escalation and JBL sobers up in a hurry.

Royal Rumble

Since this is the main event, here’s your trivia for the night: this is the first pay per view since the Wrestling Classic (and therefore the second ever to this point) to not have a tag team match. In case you were worried about a slow start, Eddie Guerrero is in at #1 and Chris Benoit is in at #2 with ninety second intervals. Eddie starts on the floor before coming in for the feeling out process, which doesn’t get anyone anywhere. They start striking it out and Daniel Puder is in at #3. He gets in but goes straight back to the floor to grab a mic, saying everyone here is about to witness history.

Puder gets inside and it’s time for Benoit and Eddie to chop the heck out of him, which might be Benoit’s specialty. Some suplexes make it even worse and it’s Hardcore Holly in at #4. Benoit and Eddie are willing to stand back and let Holly chop him as the point is becoming clear in a hurry. Holly hangs him over the rope for the kick to the gut and there’s an Alabama Slam.

Hurricane is in at #5 as Puder is tossed. This was WWE’s way of punishing/initiating Puder for being successful in Tough Enough, because WWE feels the need to torment people for getting over. Puder would never wrestle on the main roster again and I’d be surprised if he had a major appearance. Eddie throws Holly out during Hurricane’s entrance and Hurricane is thrown out a few seconds later, just as Kenzo Suzuki is in at #6. Eddie and Benoit double team him as well but Benoit throws Eddie to the apron in a smart move.

Edge is in at #7 and this should make things more interesting. Chops and right hands abound until Benoit knocks Edge back a bit. Rey Mysterio is in at #8 and as soon as we get rid of Suzuki, a heck of a tag match could break out (with any combination of teams). Rey’s headscissors gets rid of Suzuki but walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Eddie to put everyone down. Shelton Benjamin is in at #9 and goes after Rey, who snaps off a headscissors.

Booker T. is in at #10, giving us Booker, Eddie, Benoit, Benjamin, Edge and Mysterio (get one or two more and you have a month’s worth of quality stuff). Rey can’t headscissor Shelton out but here’s Bischoff to watch. Benoit gets the Sharpshooter on Eddie, which Rey breaks up with a springboard dropkick. Just in case we don’t have enough awesome talent in the ring, Chris Jericho is in at #11. Jericho goes after Edge with right hands and a belly to back suplex before switching over to Eddie in the corner.

Theodore Long comes out to cheer as well and it’s Luther Reigns in at #12. The kicking and punching continues until we get the showdown between the Raw and Smackdown guys because WWE REALLY likes pushing that concept. With everyone fighting by the ropes, it’s Muhammad Hassan in at #13. Everyone stops to look at him as Hassan posses…and the big beatdown is on. The fans like this quite a bit and Rey hits a 619. Everyone gets together and tosses Hassan at the same time as Orlando Jordan is in at #14.

That means a lot more punching and not very close eliminations by the ropes until Scotty 2 Hotty is in at #15. Hang on though as Hassan and Daivari jump him in the aisle and Scotty can’t get in. Oh well. If we can drop every man for himself, we can drop 30 to 29. The beatdown takes long enough that it’s Charlie Haas in at #16. Booker kicks him in the face though and then tosses Reigns and Jordan in a row. He stops for a Spinarooni though and that’s enough for Eddie to get the elimination.

The eliminations slow for a bit as Rene Dupree is in at #17. Haas and Benjamin get back together for the jump over onto Rene’s back. Shelton misses a Stinger Splash though and Edge gets the elimination. Simon Dean is in at #18 but before he gets in, we need some Hindu squats. The distraction lets Edge get rid of Eddie and Dean finally gets in…..so Shawn Michaels, in at #19, can superkick him out. Things slow down a bit until Shawn dumps Haas.

Kurt Angle is in at #20 and it’s suplexes a go-go until Shawn superkicks him out. To recap, we now have Benoit, Edge, Mysterio, Jericho, Dupree and Michaels. Coach is in at #21 and immediately starts grabbing the rope to save himself. Mark Jindrak is in at #22 but Angle gets back in and throws Shawn out, followed by a step shot to the head for some blood. Angle is finally dragged off and it’s Viscera in at #23.

Rey saves himself from elimination so Viscera slams him in the middle. With nothing else going on, Paul London is in at #24, nearly sliding all the way outside as he comes in. Dupree slams him down and we get the French Tickler. Jericho is smart enough to use the delay to toss Dupree (Tazz: “His tickler just got Frenched!”.). No one can get rid of Viscera so here’s John Cena in at #25 to pick things way up.

Cena backdrops Viscera out on his own because WWE knows how to make someone look like a star in the Rumble. Gene Snitsky, who can run pretty well when he’s all taped up, is in at #26 to shoulder people down. Snitsky sends London to the apron and BLASTS him with a clothesline, sending London inside out for a highlight reel elimination. That gives us the Cena vs. Snitsky showdown with Snitsky hitting the big boot.

Kane is in at #27 and it’s chokeslams all around, with the one armed version to Mysterio looking great. Jindrak is out but Snitsky saves Coach of all people. The pumphandle slam drops Kane but none of that matters because Batista is in at #28 to bring the fans back to full strength (everyone knows it’s coming now and they’re fully on board the Batista train). Snitsky is out first and it’s time for the Kane showdown, with the full on BATISTA chants as background noise.

The Batista Bomb plants Kane and Batista throws Jericho out. Christian is in at #29 and gets beaten down by Cena as Rey hits the 619 on Kane. That’s enough for the FU to get rid of Kane (because Cena is smart enough to use a move like that next to the ropes). Rey and Cena set up an alliance and it’s Ric Flair in at #30, giving us a final field of Benoit, Edge, Mysterio, Coach, Cena, Batista, Christian and Flair. That’s quite the talent pool. Flair is smart enough to feed Coach into the spinebuster from Batista for the elimination and the same concept gets rid of Christian.

Benoit chops Flair in the corner but takes the big spinebuster as well. That’s it for Benoit but Flair makes the mistake of trying to toss Batista as well. Edge and Mysterio are smart enough to dropkick Batista at the same time with Edge getting rid of Flair (makes sense). That leaves us with Edge, Mysterio, Batista and Cena. Edge hits the spear on Batista and Cena but gets caught by the 619. Rey tries one too many runs off the ropes though and gets sent to the apron for a spear to the floor. Cena and Batista toss Edge and we’re down to the only two people who ever had a shot to win this thing in the first place.

Neither can hit their finisher and the fall out to the floor in the unplanned finish. With the referees split, cue Vince McMahon, who made the mistake of trying to get up from the Gorilla Position in a hurry after three hours. He tries to slide in under the bottom rope and there goes his quad (must be a family trait).

Vince tries to get up and just goes down, so the referees plead their cases as Vince sits down next to the bottom rope. With all of the confusion, they take turns throwing each one over the top (Batista threw Cena first, which makes sense. Cena throwing Batista out after and thinking that would count is just kind of dumb.). Vince says restart the match (and then goes to the back, where he put too much weight on his good leg and tore that quad as well), but for some reason Eddie and Benoit are nowhere to be seen. Batista throws Cena out in about ten seconds to officially win.

Rating: B+. If they could have nailed the ending, this is an all time classic. As it is, it’s just shy of great and that’s a pretty awesome place to be. Cena and Batista were all that mattered here and that was where they went for the ending, but the stuff before that was more than very good as well. They stacked the first half with talent and then had the very well done Angle vs. Shawn segment, which sets up a major match at Wrestlemania. By the time they were done, Cena showed up to bridge things to the ending. All in all, it’s a second tier Rumble at worst and just makes the end of the all time best list at best.

Overall Rating: A-. The Rumble is such a unique show as the one match can carry the rest of the card either up or down. In this case that’s very helpful as the four undercard matches nearly cancel each other out, with a pair of good ones, the bad casket match and the not very good Raw World Title match. What matters here though is they didn’t play any games with the ending and went with their strongest options at the finish. It was the right play and the only thing they could have done. Batista and Cena’s rockets are being attached to their backs and that’s what they have to do. Very good show and bordering on classic.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Smackdown
Date: August 10, 2007
Location: Chevrolet Center, Youngstown, Ohio
Attendance: 3,700
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re closing in on Summerslam and the main event is set, with Batista challenging Great Khali for the World Title. That may be a problem for Batista, as Khali debuted a Claw hold, which could cause quite the damage. The rest of the card could use some attention though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Batista vs. Domino

They’re starting fast this week and Deuce and Cherry are here with Domino. Batista knees him in the ribs as the smoke from Batista’s pyro is still filling the arena. A suplex gives Batista two but it’s too early for the Batista Bomb. Back up Cherry’s distraction does absolutely nothing as Batista takes Deuce N Domino out with ease. The spear into the Batista Bomb is good for the easy pin. On Domino.

Rating: C-. Total squash and that’s what it should have been. It would have been nice to not see a champion lose this way, but it isn’t like there are any other tag teams worth beating up around here. Batista didn’t break a sweat here and that made for an entertaining enough destruction.

Post match Deuce tries to jump Batista and gets wrecked as well. Great Khali pops up on screen to yell at Batista, who won’t be celebrating at Summerslam. We see a clip of Khali Clawing Ric Flair last week to knock him out.

Here is the returning Rey Mysterio, whose knee surgery must have been a success as he is about four inches taller now. Whoever it is seems to be a big Chavo Guerrero fan because he doesn’t know if Rey can beat Chavo at Summerslam. Or if he can even face Chavo, because Chavo is that amazing. He gets on his knees to beg Chavo to avoid that kind of a beating again but here is Eugene to interrupt.

Eugene vs. “Rey Mysterio”

The fans think Chavo sucks and it’s a headscissors to take Eugene down to start. The 619 misses and believe it or not, it’s Chavo under the mask. Eugene is so offended by the deception that he starts hammering away and hits a Gory Bomb, followed by Three Amigos. The frog splash takes too long though and Chavo moves, allowing him to hit his own for the pin.

Rating: D+. They didn’t bother trying to take this one too far as there is only so much you can get out of this kind of a match. It was also a match where the copying moves made sense, but Eugene is so far beyond meaning anything that it is hard to believe that he was kind of a big thing at one point. Chavo is on his way to the big showdown with Rey and that should work out well for both of them.

Kenny Dykstra kisses Victoria as she is getting her makeup done when Michelle McCool comes in to tell them to get a room. Violence is teased.

Raw Rebound.

Mark Henry vs. Sterling Keenan

Keenan is better known as Corey Graves. Bearhug finishes for Henry in about a minute.

Post match Henry says no one will mess with him because of this, sending us to a video of him attacking Undertaker. As the beating is on, we cut to an Undertaker vignette, with the word “Unforgiven” being heard. Back in the arena, a man in black walks away from the ring and his footprints are rather prominent.

Torrie Wilson vs. Victoria

Jimmy Wang Yang and Kenny Dykstra are here. Victoria jumps her to start and takes it to the floor. That means Yang has to dropkick Dykstra down as Torrie is scared. Back in and the Widow’s Peak finishes Torrie in a hurry.

Post match the beating stays on but Michelle McCool runs in for the save.

We recap Matt Hardy beating MVP in arm wrestling and regular wrestling last week.

Commentary tells us that thanks to the Wellness Policy, MVP found out that he had a heart condition and has had surgery, but will be back in a week.

MVP complains about how his heart was messed up last week but Matt Hardy cheated to beat him anyway. It would usually take someone a year to return but he’ll do it in a week because he is half man and half amazing.

Matt Hardy vs. Finlay

Finlay points a finger in his face to start and they take their time to start. A headlock and shoulder have Matt in early trouble so he grabs a headlock of his own. Commentary talks about Mr. McMahon’s illegitimate child (ok fair enough) as Matt hits Finlay in the face for two. Hold on though as Finlay complains of an eye poke, which naturally is a way to sucker Matt in for some uppercuts.

Back up and Finlay charges into a boot in the corner but manages to send Matt hard to the floor. They fight over a ram into the apron so Matt gets posted as we take a break. We come back with Finlay staying on the arm that went into the post, including kicking away at the shoulder. The cranking begins on the arm but the referee is smart enough to see the feet in the ropes. Good of him for doing his job for once.

Back up and Matt hits an elbow to the face, only to get taken down into another armbar. The arm is slammed onto the apron before Finlay goes with the armbar again. Back up and Finlay forearms away in the corner but Matt slugs him down. The middle rope elbow to the back connects and the Side Effect gets two. Finlay fights back but here is Hornswoggle at ringside. Finlay brings him inside but Jamie Noble comes out to chase Hornswoggle off. Finlay goes to rescue Hornswoggle….and it’s a countout.

Rating: C+. This felt like they had set up a joke for seventeen minutes and then forgot the punchline. They set up everything with Hardy’s arm being banged up and then just let it end in the middle of his comeback? Instead of managing to beat Finlay with one arm, it was like they were saying “close enough, we’re done”. This had me really confused and disappointed, even though the rest of it was rather good.

In the back, Jamie Noble asks Kid Kash and Funaki where Hornswoggle is. Finlay comes in and grabs Noble, telling him to stay away from Hornswoggle. Noble says this is three on one….but Kane pops up behind them and beats up Finlay.

Kane vs. Sylvan

Sylvan rants in French until the fire cuts him off. Kane sends him flying into the corner and hammers away without much trouble. The chinlock goes on for a bit but Sylvan cuts off a charge in the corner. Kane hits a big boot though and the top rope clothesline sets up the chokeslam for the easy win.

Post match Finlay runs in and beats Kane down with the shillelagh.

Teddy Long and Vickie Guerrero talk about Teddy’s wedding and gives him some Viagra as a wedding present.

Here is Chris Masters for the Masterlock Challenge to anyone in the crowd. A rather large fan is goaded into it, but says he has played football, wrestled…..and just got out of prison for manslaughter. With that, Masters picks another fan, who he easily beats. I’m still not sure why this is supposed to be interesting, especially after someone already broke the hold.

Batista tells Ric Flair to be careful against Great Khali, but Flair is mad over being rag dolled last week. He’s felt the Claw from other people before and now it is time for a Figure Four on Khali.

Ric Flair vs. Great Khali

Non-title. Flair chops away to start and is tossed to the ground for his efforts. The nerve hold goes on for a good while, followed by the big chop and a big boot. Flair manages a low blow and chops away, with Khali going down to a knee. Then Khali grabs the Claw to finish Flair without much trouble.

Rating: D. This was as good as Khali nerve holding Flair for about a minute and a half was going to be. The Claw is a fine way for someone with Khali’s hands to go, but you need something other than that. The problem is he can’t do much more and this was a bad example of how limited he really is.

Post match the Claw stays on so Batista runs in for the save. Khali Claws Batista down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time Smackdown came up with such a bad show as this was rather awful. There was nothing on here that you would need to see and the best match, between Hardy and Finlay, has one of the more disappointing endings I have heard of in a long time. This didn’t make me want to see Summerslam and it was one of the weakest shows WWE has put on in a long time.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Smackdown
Date: August 3, 2007
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We are on the way to Summerslam and now we have a main event set for the show. Batista will be challenging the Great Khali for the World Heavyweight Title, which you probably could have seen coming. Other than that, we’re getting some kind of competition between Matt Hardy and MVP, which will NOT be wrestling, because that would be too appropriate. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Batista interrupting Great Khali’s celebration last week (kind of a jerk move really) and setting up the Summerslam title match.

Opening sequence.

Here are Teddy Long and Kristal for a chat. Kristal says Teddylicious (JBL is gone off that one) has an announcement: the wedding will take place on September 21 and everyone here is invited! All you would have to do is come to Atlanta! Cue the Great Khali with Runjin Singh to interrupt though and Long is a bit nervous. Khali speaks to Long and screams at Kristal, who runs off. Singh translates, as Khali wants Batista for what happened last week, but Long doesn’t like how Khali spoke to the two of them. The title match is on for Summerslam though.

Kane vs. Chris Masters

Masters grabs a headlock to start but gets shoved away without much trouble. Kane chokes away in the corner and cranks on the arm to take Masters down. Masters manages to snap him throat first across the top rope and the neck crank goes on. That’s broken up with a belly to back suplex though and Kane adds a regular one for a bonus. Kane hammers away in the corner and hits the running clothesline into the side slam. Masters tries the Masterlock again but gets reversed into a chokeslam for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. Basic power match here with Masters not being able to hook his one big move and getting chokeslammed instead. This was a fine way to keep Kane looking strong before he goes into whatever he’s doing at Summerslam. Masters…well he’s still employed and that’s impressive at this point.

Deuce N Domino are ready to take out Batista and Ric Flair. Deuce didn’t like Batista looking at Cherry….who is missing.

Chuck Palumbo still likes motorcycles.

Mark Henry vs. Nate Nickerson

Splash and bearhug finish for Henry in about a minute.

Henry says no one of consequence will take his challenge because of this, which sends us to a video on his dominance.

Jesse and Festus want to make sure they are well dressed, but only Jesse comes close.

We recap Matt Hardy vs. MVP, the latter of whom says he can beat Matt in anything.

It’s time for arm wrestling, with MVP taking his time like any heel in an arm wrestling contest. We go long form with the stalling so Matt finally grabs the hand and makes him start. Matt wins, sending MVP into a rant about how he can beat Matt in anything.

Matt Hardy vs. MVP

Non-title and joined in progress with Matt working on the arm. Matt sends the arm into the buckle and cranks away a bit before taking it down into an armbar. A Stunner on the arm gets two but MVP snaps Matt’s throat across the top. Now it’s MVP getting to crank on both arms at once but Matt throws him down and fires off right hands.

MVP is right back with the big boot, which sends Matt out to the floor to cut off the cover. The front facelock goes on back inside, because kicking Matt in the head again isn’t an option for some reason. Matt powers up and grabs a suplex to escape, followed by the clotheslines. A bulldog gives Matt two and a Side Effect is good for the same. The threat of the Twist of Fate sends MVP outside again and this time he takes the countout.

Rating: B-. These two worked well together and now the feud gets to continue. The good thing is they didn’t do something stupid here like have a surprise fall, as MVP bailing to talk more trash later is the right way to go. Hardy is actually on a heck of a roll at the moment and hopefully that leads somewhere good.

Domino is looking for Cherry and finds her coming out of Batista’s locker room. They leave with Deuce, but Ric Flair was inside. Batista pops up for some smiling as I have a lot of questions.

Jamie Noble runs into a laughing Funaki and Shannon Moore, who mock him for being short and losing to Hornswoggle. Noble gets frustrated as Hornswoggle pops out of a garbage can.

Rey Mysterio is back at Summerslam.

Chavo Guerrero comes in to see Vickie Guerrero and Kristal. The latter leaves so Chavo talks about putting Rey Mysterio out of action. Vickie gives him Rey at Summerslam.

Jamie Noble vs. Shannon Moore

Noble forearms him in the back of the head to start and some headbutts keep Moore in trouble. Moore fights up and hits Jeff Hardy’s Whisper in the Wind for two, only to walk into a gutbuster for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here, but it was a way to get Noble on the show, likely for what will be a goofy post match bit with Hornswoggle. That’s hardly the most thrilling deal, but at least they’re doing something with the title. Now granted they haven’t had a chance to turn it into a full on joke yet, but give them some time.

Post match here’s Hornswoggle for the chase, capped off with Noble getting hit with a pie (which he just happened to have laying around). Then Hornswoggle steps on him and runs away.

Kenny Dykstra vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Victoria and cowgirl Torrie Wilson are here. Yang grabs a headlock to start and hits a hard clothesline to the floor. The ensuing dive takes Dykstra out again but he’s right back with a neckbreaker for two. The chinlock goes on, followed by a suplex and another chinlock. Dykstra ties him in the Tree of Woe, where Victoria gets in a few shots of her own.

Yang doesn’t seem to mind and comes back with a dropkick, followed by the running spinwheel kick in the corner. The high crossbody is knocked out of the air though, meaning Dykstra can go up as well. This time it’s Yang kicking him down, setting up the moonsault press for the pin.

Rating: C. The more I watch these shows, the more amazed I am by how how nothing a lot of these matches seem to be. Yang is just shy of being a comedy character (who can wrestle a nice enough match) and he’s having a match with another low level guy like Dykstra. It’s not bad action or anything, but there isn’t much to draw anyone in here.

Ric Flair/Batista vs. Deuce N Domino

Non-title and Cherry is here with Deuce N Domino. Batista punches away at Deuce to start and it’s off to Flair for a hiptoss. It’s back to Batista for an armbar, which doesn’t last very long. Instead Flair comes back in and is backdropped down to give Deuce N Domino a breather. Domino hits a jumping back elbow to the jaw for two and we take a break.

Back with Batista getting to clean house and handing it off to Flair for the Figure Four. Domino makes the fast save though and it’s an armbar to keep Flair down. Deuce punches away to set up the Flair Flop and the armbar goes on again. Flair is bleeding from the eye, meaning Domino can stay on the arm. An elbow to the face gets Flair out of trouble though and the hot tag brings in Batista to clean house. The spear and spinning Boss Man Slam connect…and here is Great Khali. The distraction lets Deuce N Domino jump Batista and that’s a DQ.

Rating: C+. Batista and Flair still work well together and it wouldn’t have been a terrible upset, but the champs can’t beat Flair in a tag match? With distraction included? I know their reign is all but dead but egads man. Pretty good for a low level main event though, and Khali vs. Batista is built up some more. The match is going to be ugly, but they’re doing something to set it up.

Post match Khali puts Flair in a claw hold and knocks him out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Certainly not a bad show overall, but another show you didn’t need to see. That happens too frequently around Smackdown and it is never a good thing to see. They did add a few more matches to Summerslam, but another Rey vs. Chavo match is hardly the big drawing card for the show. Matt vs. MVP is good for a secondary feud though and if they can find a good angle, the title change should work out well. Overall pretty good, but they fall off after a certain point when it comes to feeling important.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Smackdown
Date: July 27, 2007
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re done with the Great American Bash and we’re still living in the Great Khali’s world. Khali survived against Kane and Batista in a triple threat match and now we need a new challenger. By that it probably means one of the two, and since Kane got pinned, Batista would seem to be a likely option. Let’s get to it.

Here is the Great American Bash if you need a recap.

We open with a triple threat recap as Khali retains the title.

Opening sequence.

Batista vs. Deuce

Domino and Cherry are here with Deuce. Batista powers him down with as much effort as you would expect him to need and then does it again. Domino offers a distraction though and Batista gets kicked out to the floor. Back in and Deuce scores with a kick to the head before avoiding a charge to send Batista into the post. The armbar goes on for a bit but Deuce spends too much time trash talking, allowing Batista to hit a spear. Some clotheslines set up the shoulders in the corner and there’s the spinebuster. The Batista Bomb finishes Deuce off.

Rating: C. This was a heck of a lot more competitive than I would have bet on and that’s not the worst thing. Batista should have to break a sweat to beat a champion, even if it is Deuce. It might not have been a great match, but it makes sense to get Batista out there in front of the fans.

We look at Hornswoggle winning the Cruiserweight Title.

Jamie Noble is sick of people laughing at him for losing to Hornswoggle so tonight it is time for him to get the title back.

Michelle McCool likes to swim.

Cruiserweight Title: Hornswoggle vs. Jamie Noble

Noble is challenging but there is no Hornswoggle to start. With no champ, Noble checks underneath the ring but Hornswoggle pops up in the ring because of course he does. Noble gets back in so Hornswoggle can bite/kick his leg for some early annoyance. They head outside and Noble kicks the steps by mistake. Hornswoggle tricks him into missing a charge and it’s a dropkick for two on Noble. Back up and Hornswoggle gets tossed outside, where the chase is on. Noble manages to rib off Hornswoggle’s shoe…but falls and gets counted out. Somehow, Cole interprets this as a pin.

Rating: D. Somehow, this might make the title feel a bit more important than it has in months. Yes it was comedy and the champ made Noble look like an idiot, but I’ll almost take this over the lifeless matches that we had for such a long time. Hornswoggle is little more than a joke as champion but it’s not like the title has meant anything in a long time anyway.

Video on Rey Mysterio, who is on his way back.

We look at the Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero I Quit match where Chavo destroyed Rey’s knee to put him on the shelf.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Eugene

Apparently Eugene and Cole had a nice chat earlier today. Chavo goes after the knee to start and we hit the half crab to make it worse. That’s broken up and the bad knee means Eugene can’t get the airplane spin. Instead, Chavo can belly to back suplex him down and it’s back to the knee. The leg cranking is on and Chavo bends the knee around the rope. Chavo sends him face first into the corner and Eugene’s comeback is on, meaning the airplane spin can work this time. That’s enough for Chavo, who hits a quick brainbuster and the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C-. It was about all you could get out of Chavo vs. Eugene with Chavo working on the knee to show he’s ready for the return of Rey Mysterio. Other than that though, it was little more than a squash with Guerrero never being in any serious danger. Fine enough to build Chavo back up though, assuming you can get invested in a Chavo Guerrero feud.

Ric Flair and Matt Hardy are ready for their tag match.

Jesse and Festus really love America.

MVP/Chris Masters vs. Matt Hardy/Ric Flair

Hardy starts with MVP but it’s off to Masters before anything gets going. Masters fights out of an early headlock and powers Hardy into the corner for a shot to the face. MVP comes in and stomps away in the corner but it’s quickly off to Flair for a bunch of chops. The villains are knocked outside for a breather and we take an early break.

Back with Flair working on MVP’s leg but a rope is grabbed in a hurry. Hardy comes in for a few shots and it’s right back to Flair for more chops. One of them knocks MVP over for the tag to Masters, who unloads in the corner. MVP’s running boot in the corner knocks Flair silly and it’s off to a hammerlock. Masters comes back in for a powerslam and an armbar but Flair fights up in a hurry. A kick to the face allows the hot tag to Hardy so house can be cleaned. The Side Effect gets two with MVP making a fast save. Not that it matters as the Twist of Fate finishes Masters (with MVP not bothering to make another save).

Rating: C+. Hardy gets a win back to start his rebuilding and that is a good idea. Ultimately, Hardy is probably not done with MVP and the title so it makes a lot of sense to put him in in a spot like this. Flair and Masters were just kind of there, but at least they did something to keep the match fresh.

Post match MVP says that doesn’t matter because he’s still the US Champion. Hardy brought everything he had at the Great American Bash and lost, because he can’t beat MVP at anything. Matt tells him to put his money where his mouth is and give him another title shot. MVP says the title is off the table but Matt can’t beat him at anything, from baseball to running to chess or anything else. That’s fine with Matt, who says he’ll pick a bunch of games and beat MVP every single time. Then MVP will have no choice but to give Matt a US Title shot. I think Matt’s logic might be a bit off there.

Chuck Palumbo loves motorcycles.

Mark Henry vs. Joey Blaylock

Henry runs him over without much trouble to start and adds a big boot. A powerslam and splash get two, with Henry picking him up. The bearhug finishes Blaylock in a hurry.

Post match, Henry says no man or beast can beat him and tosses Blaylock outside. That was such a bad beating that Henry beat the Blaylock out of him and turned the guy into Joey Ryan.

Raw Rebound.

Teddy Long and Kristal are talking wedding plans when Ron Simmons comes in. Long asks him to be the best man, which is good for a catchphrase and an emotional hug. The guys are off for some cigars and reminiscing.

Here’s the same video on the Great American Bash triple threat from earlier.

Edge had his torn pectoral muscle fixed and he still blames Kane.

Kane vs. Dave Taylor

Taylor isn’t scared and slugs away to start, earning himself a toss across the ring. Kane unloads in the corner and drops an elbow, only to get uppercutted some more. An armbar actually has Kane in a bit more trouble and Taylor pounds him into the corner again. Kane isn’t having that though and scores with a running clothesline, setting up the sidewalk slam. There’s the top rope clothesline and Kane hits the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C. Who would have thought that Taylor would give Kane a bit of a fight here? Taylor is someone who certainly does put in the effort every time he is out there and it gives you a match that is far better than you would expect. Kane seems primed for a big enough match at Summerslam, though I’m not sure who he could face.

Torrie Wilson has gone cowgirl for her mixed tag with Jimmy Wang Yang against Victoria and Kenny Dykstra. And no, apparently the shorts aren’t too short.

Torrie Wilson/Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Kenny Dykstra/Victoria

Victoria goes after Torrie before the bell but it’s Dykstra clotheslining Yang a few times to start instead. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Yang’s back as commentary talks about how Torrie looks. Yang fights up and hits a spinwheel kick, allowing the double tag to the women. Some clotheslines have Victoria in trouble but she comes right back with the spinning side slam for two. The double arm crank goes on but Torrie is back up with a swinging neckbreaker. Torrie has to crawl away from Dykstra though…and it’s off to Yang a few seconds later anyway. The moonsault press finishes Dykstra without much trouble.

Rating: D. They had a short and bad match as commentary talked about how great Torrie looked throughout. That’s about all you can expect here and I can’t say I’m surprised. It isn’t like there is anything else for them to do and Torrie wearing the outfit was there to be more fun and silly than anything else, which didn’t help the match that much.

It’s time for Great Khali’s World Championship celebration, complete with a bunch of dancers and music setting up his entrance. Khali and Runjin Singh come out, with Khali holding the title upside down again. Singh translates Khali’s yelling, which is bragging about all of his accomplishments. Now he is one of the greatest Indians of all time, like M. Night Shyamalan and Mother Teresa! It is time for Punjabi dancing but, after a good while, Batista interrupts. The challenge for a title match is on and a spear drops Khali to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t a very good show and I’m not sure I can see it getting better anytime in the near future. There was very little worth seeing on here and I don’t know how good things are going to be on the way to Summerslam. Edge being gone hurt things but it wasn’t like it was a great weekly show before his injury. It wasn’t a very good show, but it was more uninteresting than anything else.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Great American Bash 2007
Date: July 22, 2007
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Attendance: 13,034
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s a bit of a weird show as we have the big fight between John Cena and Bobby Lashley for the Raw World Title, but the Smackdown World Title is a little screwy. Edge was forced to vacate the title due to an injury, with Great Khali becoming the new champion via a battle royal. Therefore, it’s Khali defending against Kane and Batista in the big hoss fight. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how the fireworks will begin before running down the big matches.

US Title: MVP vs. Matt Hardy

MVP is defending and gets driven into the corner for a clean break to start. Hardy already has him bailing out to the floor before it’s time to fight over wrist control back inside. MVP’s wristlock is countered with a roll to the floor, meaning Hardy can score with an over the top dive. Back in and MVP knocks him down again though, setting up a crossarm choke. Hardy fights up again and hits a suplex for two, with MVP bailing to the floor again.

They head back inside, where Matt gets pulled off the ropes for a nasty crash. A fireman’s carry faceplant drops Hardy again but he hits a desperation knockdown. Hardy gets caught on top though and a superplex gives MVP a delayed near fall. A belly to back superplex is countered into a crossbody (or bulldog according to Cole) and Hardy starts slugging away.

Now a middle rope elbow to the back of a standing MVP (again, a bulldog according to Cole, which is close enough this time) gets two and the Side Effect gets the same, with the fans WAY into this. Another Side Effect is countered into a cradle to give MVP two of his own but he misses the running boot in the corner. The Twist of Fate is countered as well though and now the running boot drops Hardy. The Playmaker retains MVP’s title.

Rating: B-. This took some time to get going but then they were rolling by the end. I’m a bit surprised by the ending as Hardy had been on a roll and they were hyping up his first major singles title win, but maybe they’re saving it for later. Still though, good choice for an opener here and the fans were way into Hardy’s near falls.

Dusty Rhodes is ready for Randy Orton and doesn’t know why everyone is so somber around here. He isn’t laying down for Orton because he isn’t done around here, so it’s time for Orton’s back to crack and liver to quiver. Respect is promised, which sends Dusty into a story about a bull looking down the hill at some cows. Then the bull said moo. As much as I want to mock this for being insane….it’s Dusty.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Chavo Guerrero, Jimmy Wang Yang, Shannon Moore, Funaki, Jamie Noble,

Chavo Guerrero is defending in a bonus match and it’s one fall to a finish. Hold on though as here is Hornswoggle to dive across the ring and then hide underneath. Chavo gets jumped to start and sent outside, leaving everyone else to go after each other. Yang and Noble are left alone in the ring until Chavo is back in to rock Yang with a belly to back suplex. Noble powerslams Yang for two but gets sent outside, heaving Chavo to half crab Yang.

Funaki breaks that up with an enziguri as everyone is back in to keep up the brawling. Noble counters Funaki’s tornado DDT into an armbar but Chavo breaks it up again. The Gory Bomb hits Funaki and there are Two Amigos to Yang, with Noble making a save. A big dive takes out Funaki so Moore hits Yang in the head. Yang goes up but gets taken down with the Tower of Doom. With Noble down, Hornswoggle comes back in with a Tadpole Splash for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. Normally I would get annoyed at a comedy act winning the title, but the thing has been so worthless for such a long time now that this is almost an upgrade. WWE does not care about the title so just let them move along to something else. The action was rather fast paced as it should be in this case, but the ending is all that matters here. Somehow it might be an upgrade, which should tell you everything you need to know about the cruiserweight division at the moment.

Hornswoggle goes back underneath the ring and then runs up the ramp to escape the angry mob.

Video on Bobby Lashley’s rise to the top of the company.

Sandman vs. Carlito

Singapore cane on a pole. Carlito spits at Sandman to get the chase going before the match, because ticking off Sandman is a good idea. After a lockup, they both go after the cane because that’s kind of the point. A hammerlock of all things has Carlito down so Sandman goes for the cane but has to backdrop Carlito outside.

Back in and Carlito hammers away a bit, setting up a dropkick to put Sandman down for a change. It’s too early for Carlito to get the cane so he tries again, with Sandman pulling him down this time. Carlito’s springboard back elbow is blocked so Sandman gets the cane, only to get caught in the Backstabber to give Carlito the pin.

Rating: D. So not only did they have a bad match, but then the whole point of the thing wound up being a big waste of time. This was one of the weaker things on a WWE pay per view in a long time now and it isn’t even like it was there to let fans come down from something else. Bad stuff here, and not the best sign for Sandman’s future.

Randy Orton isn’t happy that he has to face Dusty Rhodes, who is going to get hurt like Shawn Michaels.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Candice Michelle

Michelle is defending and gets taken down by an armbar to start. That’s broken up so Michelle goes with a headlock takeover, setting up a bridge into a backslide to give Melina two. A running Blockbuster drops Melina as they’re going with more wrestling this time. Melina catches her in the corner with the middle rope knees to the ribs, setting up the screaming. JR: “Melina with the guttural passion!” Lawler: “WHAT???”

The double arm crank doesn’t last long for Melina as Candice fights up to start the comeback. A high crossbody gets two but Melina grabs a neckbreaker (into the splits) for the same. Candice is right back with a jawbreaker into a standing bulldog (the Candy Wrapper) to retain.

Rating: C. It wasn’t the best match, but Candice is getting better and better in the ring every week. You can see the change in quality over the last few months and that is a great thing to see. The matches still aren’t great, but I can always go for people trying to get better and actually making it happen.

Wrestlemania is in Orlando.

Matt Hardy gives Jeff Hardy a pep talk before his Intercontinental Title match. Then Candice Michelle shows up and pours water over herself as special music plays. The Hardys are impressed, setting up the Ron Simmons cameo.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

Umaga is defending and wastes no time in knocking Hardy outside. Hardy gets sent into the apron but comes back with the jawbreaker inside. Not that it matters as Umaga plants him with a Samoan drop, setting up a rather large legdrop. Some hard whips into the corner bang up Hardy’s back so we hit the logical nerve hold. Hardy fights up but gets pulled down by the head, meaning the hold can go on again.

Another escape goes a bit faster so Umaga takes him down again, setting up some springboard seated sentons to the chest. The swinging Rock Bottom gets two and dang the crowd reacts to the kickout. Umaga misses a middle rope headbutt though and Hardy knocks him outside. There’s the first dive, setting up the basement dropkick for two back inside. The Twist of Fate into the Swanton gets a delayed two but Umaga superkicks him into the corner. The running hip attack sets up the Samoan Spike to retain the title.

Rating: B-. This was right in Hardy’s wheelhouse: fighting a match where he gets beaten into oblivion for a long time and then comes back to nearly win in the end. There are very few people who can make the fans believe in him like Hardy can and it was on full display here. Heck of a performance and I could see this one getting a rematch.

Video on John Cena’s rise to the top of WWE to become WWE Champion.

ECW World Title: John Morrison vs. CM Punk

Morrison is defending after switching from Johnny Nitro to Morrison earlier this week. They go to the mat to start with Punk working on a hammerlock. That’s switched into a headlock to keep Morrison in trouble before Punk hits a slingshot suplex for two. A monkey flip sends Morrison onto his face and then out to the floor for a breather. Punk follows, only to be dropped face first onto the steps.

Back in and Punk is fine enough to try the GTS but Morrison slips out and kicks him in the face. A belly to back faceplant gives Morrison two and it’s time to stomp away. Punk is back with his own strikes though, including a discus lariat into a flapjack for two. An exchange of rollups get two each before Punk opts to kick him in the head instead. The corner knee looks to set up the bulldog but Morrison bails to the floor. Punk throws him back in and loads up the springboard clothesline but gets kneed/kicked out of the air to retain Morrison’s title.

Rating: C. This was a quick one and the ending was rather sudden. It wouldn’t surprise me if this was clipped a bit as they seemed to be getting started when they wrapped up. Punk losing another match to Morrison is a little weird, but they’re making Morrison seem like a bigger deal as champion. The problem is he doesn’t have many serious challengers so odds are we’ll be seeing a rematch between these two soon.

We recap Dusty Rhodes vs. Randy Orton in a Texas Bullrope match. Orton doesn’t like Dusty’s son Cody and slapped both of them. Throw in Dusty being a legend and the violence is out of Orton’s hands. The classic clips and promos here are good enough to make this worth a look.

Randy Orton vs. Dusty Rhodes

Texas Bullrope match, but with pin/submission rules. Orton stalls before being tied to the rope (as expected) and then does it again for a bonus. The third attempt finally works and it’s Orton missing an early swing. Instead, Dusty crotches Orton with the rope and then uses it to pull him hard into the post. Orton’s attempt to get out is cut off with another hard pull on the rope but he comes back with some bell shots to the knee.

We hit the chinlock, with the rope being wrapped around Dusty’s face to make it worse. Dusty starts reaching out to the fans to power him up though and Orton gets driven into the corner. That doesn’t seem to matter as Orton pounds away, only to get elbowed in the head. The big elbow misses though and Orton hits him in the head with the bell for the win.

Rating: C-. This was as good as it was going to get, as Dusty was retired from wrestling at this level and there was no way he was going to beat the biggest heel on Raw. It was nice to see Dusty get that one last entrance for his signature match and he even got to do some of his stuff, making this more of a tribute than anything else. This would be Dusty’s last match, at least on any kind of a big stage.

Post match Orton loads up the Punt but Cody Rhodes runs in for the save.

We recap the triple threat for the Smackdown World Title. Great Khali won the vacant title on Smackdown (as Edge was injured, again) and then interrupted a #1 contenders match between Kane and Batista setting up the triple threat.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Great Khali vs. Kane

Khali is defending and holds the title upside down again. Batista and Khali get knocked down at the same time to start and some individual clotheslines do it again. Something like a spinwheel kick drops Batista again and we’re already in the nerve hold. Kane makes the save so Khali nerve holds him instead. Batista’s save earns him a chokeslam, followed by a second to Kane.

They head outside with some double teaming working a bit better, including a posting to rock Khali. A double chokeslam/spinebuster puts Khali through the announcers’ table and it’s down to the two normal sized monsters. Back in and Batista hits a powerslam for two but Kane drops him again. Khali comes back in and gets chokeslammed (work with me here) but Batista clotheslines Kane to the floor. With Khali on the floor, the Batista Bomb plants Kane, with Khali making a fast(ish) save. Batista is sent into the steps and it’s the chokebomb to Kane to retain the title.

Rating: C. Another match where they were smart to keep it short, but what mattered here was managing to have Khali outside or at least limited for most of the time. Kane and Batista did their power match stuff and Khali came in when he needed to, making this about as good as it could have been. Khali isn’t very good, but there are ways to hide that to a certain extent.

Khali manages to hold the title the right way up!

HHH is coming back at Summerslam.

Here are King Booker and Queen Sharmell for a chat. Booker isn’t pleased with this HHH nonsense because he is the one king around here. That brings him to Jerome Lawler, who Booker wants in the ring to surrender his crown. Lawler tells him to come take it, which Booker calls an act of treason. I guess we’ll deal with that later though.

We recap John Cena vs. Bobby Lashley for the Raw World Title. Various stars and legends give their picks because this is presented as a dream match. Cena has been champion for a long time but Lashley is the young up and comer who seems ready to win the title. Showdown abounds.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Bobby Lashley

Cena is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. They go with the big power lockup to start and Cena is driven into the corner for a rare visual. The test of strength has Cena down but he fights back up as they’re channeling a bit of Warrior vs. Hogan here. Lashley wrestles him down a few times so Cena tries a headlock. With that not working, the threat of the STF sends Lashley bailing to the floor for a breather.

Back in and Cena scores with the bulldog, setting up an elbow drop for two. The fisherman’s suplex gives Cena the same but Lashley is back with a t-bone suplex. Back up and Lashley hits a side slam for two and we hit the somewhat delayed suplex for the same. A quick Throwback gets Cena out of trouble and the top rope Fameasser rocks Lashley again. Back up and Lashley lifts him up for something like a gutbuster onto the shoulder, setting up a bodyscissors to stay on the ribs.

Commentary can’t remember Cena ever wrestling a challenger with this kind of amateur abilities as Cena fights up and hits the ProtoBomb. The Shuffle connects but Lashley grabs a powerslam for another near fall. The torture rack dropped into a backbreaker looks to set up the running powerslam but Cena slips out and hits an FU. That’s good for a very delayed two and Cena charges into an elbow in the corner.

The spear is countered into the STFU in the middle of the ring (JR is having a blast calling this) but Lashley powers over to the ropes. Lashley pops up with a spear for two so he loads Cena up top, only to get reversed into a super FU (with Cena staying on top instead of going down with him) to retain the title.

Rating: B. It was a big match and a heck of a showdown, though it didn’t quite make it to the next level. What mattered here is they felt like it was a dream match, though Cena just winning again in the end was kind of a letdown. They didn’t need to change the title here, but it never became epic. Instead, we just have a rather good match and a B level pay per view main event.

Replays and respect are shown to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: B-. The show delivered and possibly even over delivered, but this did feel like a middle of the road level pay per view. There were some good (but not great) matches and that’s enough for a show like the Great American Bash. That being said, this is more about a stepping stone on the way to Summerslam for the huge show, but we got something solid enough here too.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.