Smackdown – July 21, 2006: The Pre-Show Show

Smackdown
Date: July 21, 2006
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for the Great American Bash and that means it is time to put the finishing touches on everything. The show is looking pretty good on paper and if they do everything else well tonight, we could be in for a nice pay per view. That’s in theory of course, as you never know around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Teddy Long is in the ring to open things up and gets straight to the point: Mark Henry is injured and has undergone knee surgery. Therefore he is of course out the #1 contenders match at the Great American Bash, so we have a replacement. Before Long can make the announcement, here’s Mr. Kennedy to interrupt. Long won’t let him have the mic but Kennedy has his own and challenges Batista for the pay per view. Cue Batista to tell Teddy to book the match (Teddy nods) because he needs someone to take out his six months of anger on. Kennedy offers a handshake but pulls it again and leaves. Quick and easy here.

Brian Kendrick vs. Kid Kash

They run the ropes to start with neither being able to hit anything until Kendrick armdrags him into an armbar. Kash gets smart by going after the knee and a running clothesline gets two. It’s back to the leg with even more kicks, followed by something like a reverse figure four to send Kendrick bailing to the ropes.

A snapmare sends Kendrick’s legs into the ropes to stay on the legs but Kendrick is back up with right hands and a clothesline. Jamie Noble offers a distraction but gets knocked down by mistake, allowing Kendrick to grab a rollup for two. The referee goes to yell at Paul London, allowing Noble to come in to help set up the Dead Level for the pin.

Rating: C. The leg work was a wise way to go and it made sense to have the champ lose here, but at the same time there is only so much to be gotten out of the singles matches for the Tag Team Champions. I’m not exactly buying the idea of the Pit Bulls winning the titles on Sunday, but at least they’re trying something to set it up.

Chavo Guerrero is in Teddy Long’s office when King Booker and Queen Sharmell come in. They don’t like being disrespected by Rey Mysterio and demand satisfaction in the form of a match tonight. Chavo doesn’t think much of this and tells Teddy to ignore them, but he’ll take it under advisement. That’s too much for Chavo, who storms off.

Post break, Rey accepts the match with Booker for tonight. Chavo doesn’t like this.

Michelle McCool/Kristal vs. Jillian Hall/Ashley

Jillian slams Kristal down to start and hits a cartwheel elbow as JBL goes into a rant about Jillian not taking the easy path to wealth. Michelle comes in and beats on Ashley as a lot of screaming ensues. It’s back to Kristal for a rollup but Jillian makes the save, ripping Kristal’s top off in the process. Ashley rolls her up for the fast pin as the point was obvious again here.

Great American Bash press conference video.

Here are Great Khali and Daivari to say that Undertaker will be destroyed in the Punjabi Prison. It won’t be for the first time either, as we see a clip of Khali mauling Undertaker at Judgment Day.

After looking at a clip of Finlay stealing the US Title from him last week, Bobby Lashley says he is ready to fight tonight.

US Title: Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is challenging and they go straight to the brawling. Finlay gets powered down early on and claims an early elbow injury. Naturally he’s goldbricking and forearms Lashley down for two, causing the referee to chastise him a bit. One heck of an uppercut sends Lashley into the corner and a very hard clothesline puts him down. Finlay hammers away in the corner and a jumping seated senton sets up the chinlock.

Lashley fights up and they head outside with Finlay being sent head first into the apron. That earns Lashley a knee first whip into the steps though and it’s time to crank on the leg back inside (JBL: “It’s the Achilles Heel of a gigantic monster.”). Finlay cannonballs down onto the knee, ala Ric Flair, which Cole calls unorthodox for some reason. Lashley fights up again but here’s William Regal for a distraction.

The distraction lets Finlay pull out the Leprechaun, with Finlay tossing him at Lashley for some actual unique offense. The leglock goes on again but Lashley fights up with the variety of suplexes. That’s enough for the referee to check on Finlay, allowing Regal to get in some cheap shots. Regal throws Finlay a chair, which is kicked into his face, setting up the spear. Not that it matters though as Regal comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was about taking a couple of heavy hitters and letting them beat the heck out of each other for about fifteen minutes. It’s a good preview for Sunday’s triple threat title match also involving Regal, and I’m glad they didn’t do a surprise title change to give Lashley another two day reign. Finlay can get a lot out of being the champion and retaining here was the smart move.

Post match the beatdown is on with the Leprechaun getting in a shillelagh shot to keep Lashley down.

Here’s Miz to recap the Diva Search so far, all two weeks of the thing. Tonight’s contest is a Diva Dance Off so they all dance for thirty seconds. Some of them are a bit more skilled than others (Maryse just kind of walks around) and Milena wins. This was exactly as you would have expected.

Matt Hardy, Funaki and Tatanka are in the back when Sylvan comes in to pitch a Quebec vacation.

Super Crazy vs. Psicosis

Gregory Helms is on commentary as he will be defending the title at the Bash against an opponent to be determined. Psicosis takes over with an armdrag to start and stomps away but Crazy sends him into the corner for some stomping of his own. A reverse Boston crab has Crazy in trouble and Psicosis makes it even worse by turning it into a Rocking Horse. We go to a more conventional camel clutch but Crazy slips out and dropkicks him to the floor. Crazy hits a middle rope moonsault but walks into a spinwheel kick for two back inside. Not that it matters as Crazy grabs a crucifix for the fast pin.

Rating: C. Much like the Lashley vs. Finlay match, this was all about taking two people who are good at a certain style and allowing them to do their thing for a bit. I’m not sure how big of a surprise that Crazy winning was, but at least they got a few minutes to do their thing. Crazy vs. Helms at the Bash feels like a pre-show match, but it’s nice to see the title defended every now and then.

Post match Crazy and Helms shout at each other a lot.

Vito went shopping. Again.

Great American Bash rundown.

Rey Mysterio vs. King Booker

Non-title with Sharmell handling Booker’s entrance. Joined in progress with Booker taking him to the mat with a knuckle lock but Rey fights up and kicks at the leg (popular move tonight). A flying headscissors looks to set up the 619 but Rey knocks him outside instead, setting up the running seated senton off the apron.

Back in and Booker chops away, followed by an elbow to the face for two. A pair of clotheslines into a superkick gives Booker two and the armbar goes on. That doesn’t last long so Booker grabs a slingshot suplex for two more. The chinlock doesn’t stay on long either, meaning this time it’s a World’s Strongest Slam for another near fall on Rey.

Back up and Rey grabs the sitout bulldog and thanks to the referee checking on Sharmell, Rey baseball slides Booker for a low blow. Sharmell offers a distraction though and it’s a Book End for two as Rey puts his foot on the floor. Cue Chavo to trip Booker though and it’s the 619 into Dropping The Dime to put Booker away.

Rating: C. Kind of a boring match but you can tell that these are both people who can have a fine match almost in their sleep. I’m not wild on having the pay per view main event two days before the show, but it’s not like it is the focal point in the first place. Mysterio’s days are numbered and it seems obvious, especially with Guerrero running around on the floor like he was here. Fine main event, but still a weird way to go.

Overall Rating: C-. This show suffered from the same kind of problem that so many other go home shows face: the show is built up as well as it’s going to be, leaving this show as little more than a two hour filler episode. There was nothing of note added here, other than replacing the injured Henry, so while it was a perfectly watchable show, it was also a perfectly skippable show.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Saturday Night’s Main Event #33 (2020 Redo): And It’s Over

Saturday Night’s Main Event #33
Date: July 15, 2006
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 17,343
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for another special, which is really code for a commercial for the Great American Bash and ultimately Summerslam. These shows don’t mean much in the days of Raw and Smackdown, but there is something about that name that makes it feel special. It helps that the card is fairly stacked so hopefully it works out. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here are Hulk Hogan and his daughter Brooke (Lawler approves) to open things up. Brooke says it has always been her dream to be here with her dad. Hulk says thank goodness she looks like her mom and talks about being on the first ever Saturday Night’s Main Event. Cue Randy, with a rose, to interrupt. He says Hulk is the biggest legend anywhere and says Brooke is beautiful, even presenting her with the rose. Randy is a Hulkamaniac as well, so he would like to respectively challenge Hulk to a match at Summerslam. Hulk respectively accepts, but doesn’t seem to like how Randy is looking at Brooke. Short and to the point.

Video on Batista.

King Booker/Finlay/Mark Henry vs. Rey Mysterio/Bobby Lashley/Batista

Lashley sends Finlay into the corner to start and it’s a six man standoff as we take an early break. Back with Finlay slapping a chinlock on Rey before it’s quickly off to Booker. Various things start breaking down, allowing the Leprechaun to slip Finlay the shillelagh to deck Rey for two. Rey is fine enough to kick Henry down (oh dear) but the referee doesn’t see the hot tag to Batista. Booker comes in but Rey dives between their legs and NOW the hot tag brings in Batista. House is cleaned and it’s a 619 to Booker, setting up the Batista Bomb for the pin.

Rating: C-. And that’s going to be Henry’s last televised match for about ten months as Henry completely destroyed his knee (the patella was split completely in two) so forget about Batista’s big revenge. The injury shook things up a lot as you can only get so much out of the good guys being up 3-2, but they did what they could. They did what they could, and it could have been a lot worse.

Vince McMahon gives the Spirit Squad a pep talk but DX takes over the audio, turning it into Vince giving the team spanking instructions.

We see highlights of the first round of Diva Bull Riding from earlier today. Victoria and Michelle McCool made the finals.

Melina/Johnny Nitro vs. Carlito/Trish Stratus

The men start but Nitro tags Melina in, meaning Trish has to do the same (come in, not tag Melina). Nitro trips Trish down early on and Melina adds a thumb to the eye (JR: “You wouldn’t see Meredith Vieira doing something like that.”), setting up a double hair takedown. That bangs up Melina as well so it’s a double tag to the men as everything breaks down. The women fight to the floor and the Backstabber gives Carlito the fast pin. This was really rushed so it didn’t have the chance to go anywhere.

Earlier today, Kevin Von Erich got to make a quick appearance. Nothing wrong with the local legend.

Spirit Squad vs. D-Generation X

Non-title elimination tag and there is a cell on either side of the ring for eliminated members. Shawn says the following thrashing of five male cheerleaders is brought to you by DX, and if you’re not down with that, catchphrase. Shawn gets taken into the corner to start but he manages to grab the megaphone and clean some house. The Squad bails to the floor for a huddle, which HHH breaks up with an air horn. Back in and Shawn superkicks Mitch for the first elimination.

Back from a break with HHH getting rid of Johnny with a spinebuster. Shawn chases Kenny up to the stage, where Vince gets in a chair shot to put Shawn in trouble. They head back to the ring where Shawn suplexes his way out of a sleeper. It’s off to HHH to clean house, including another spinebuster. A double clothesline sets up the Pedigree to get rid of Nicky and it’s 2-2. The superkick gets rid of Mikey and it’s a top rope elbow, followed by Sweet Chin Music into the Pedigree to complete the shutout.

Rating: D. You could say this about any match involving these two sides, but what were you expecting? It’s a pair of the best of all time against five goons. It’s almost a miracle that the Squad lasted this long and it isn’t hard to believe that Shawn and HHH could dispatch them this fast. There was no reason to believe this would be a competitive match and it wasn’t but it also wasn’t anything more than a DX workout session.

Post match Vince tries to unlock the cage but Shawn superkicks him inside with the rest of the Squad.

Video on Sabu.

Here are Great Khali and Daivari for a chat. Daivari talks about how awesome Khali is….and here are Big Show and Paul Heyman to interrupt. Show lists off his size and resume and says one day they’ll have to see who the real giant is. That’s for later though, as he wants to put Khali over tonight. He brings up the Punjabi Prison match but here’s Undertaker to interrupt. Undertaker goes after Khali and clotheslines him to the floor before going after Show. Khali gets back in and a double chokeslam leaves Undertaker laying.

Post break, Big Show says Undertaker can come face him on ECW if he has the guts.

Stevie Richards vs. Sabu

Extreme Rules. Sabu wastes no time in throwing a chair at Richards, setting up the Triple Jump Moonsault for two. Richards misses a charge in the corner and gets laid on a table, setting up the….flying something with a chair kind of in the same area to drive Richards through an already broken table for the pin. This was vintage WWECW: take away any story, feud, reason for these two for fighting and the character that made Richards work and have a match with weapons for the sake of having weapons, because that’s all ECW was about.

We get Brooke Hogan’s About Us music video.

Randy Orton is talking to Brooke Hogan in the parking lot but Hulk comes in to break that up. The Hogans go to leave but Orton runs back in with an RKO onto the trunk to leave Hulk laying.

Michelle McCool wins the Diva Bull Riding contest. Much like the Diva Search, it’s an excuse to have the Divas in various outfits doing various things that involve a lot of shaking.

Video on John Cena losing the Raw World Title to Rob Van Dam, who lost it to Edge, setting up tonight’s title match (which isn’t a triple threat for Van Dam’s title because Van Dam screwed up).

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

Edge is defending and has Lita with him. We get the Big Match Intros and Edge drops straight to the floor, only to have Cena cut him off in a hurry. Edge low bridges him to the floor though and we take an early break. Back with Edge hammering away in the corner and loading up a superplex, only to slip off the ropes and crash down hard. The referee makes sure they’re both alive and Edge gets two off a big boot. Cena pops up and initiates the finishing sequence but Lita pulls the referee out. The referee is down and Edge misses a spear, setting up the STFU. Lita slaps the referee to send him back inside to call the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was nothing with barely five minutes factoring out the commercial. The biggest problem was the time, which only gave them a chance for one memorable deal, which wound up being Edge nearly killing both of them (it was just a slip). They’re destined for the real match at Summerslam so for now, this worked out fine for the “we’re out of time but here’s what we promised” main event.

Cena celebrates but thankfully understands what the word DISQUALIFICATION means and immediately knows he didn’t win the title. That’s not cool with Cena, who hits a pretty good looking FU off the steps and through the announcers’ table.

Overall Rating: D. Completely skippable show here and you can see how unimportant this series has become. There is no need for some big special when you have the same thing done every Monday and Friday night. The wrestling wasn’t important, the Undertaker appearance was to set up a guest star spot on ECW and there was a bull riding contest for obvious reasons. Nothing to see here, and thankfully WWE/NBC seemed to understand that, as the next one wasn’t for almost a year.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – July 14, 2006: Nice And Average

Smackdown
Date: July 14, 2006
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We are rapidly approaching the Great American Bash and now we have a main event. This time around it’s going to be King Booker challenging the weakest World Champion of modern times in Rey Mysterio. Other than that, Batista is back and that could shake things up a lot. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Batista returning and beating up Mark Henry last week.

Opening sequence.

Here are King Booker, Queen Sharmell and William Regal to get things going. Regal reads a proclamation from a scroll, saying that Booker is ready to take his rightful place. Dropping to a knee, Regal promises to destroy Mysterio tonight, all for the glory of Queen Sharmell. JBL: “She’s the queen goddess of HOT!” Booker promises to win the title and talks about Batista returning last week.

We see a clip of Batista destroying Henry, but at the same time, Booker jumped Mysterio in the back for the real beatdown. Booker promises to win the title but here’s Rey. Regal goes to the aisle so Rey can sneak in from the crowd to jump Booker. Perfectly fine opening segment to move forward on the title match.

Matt Hardy vs. Mr. Kennedy

Matt jumps him during the entrance and JBL is not pleased with the lack of the introduction. A belly to back suplex gives Matt two but Kennedy sends him shoulder first into the post. The arm is sent into the buckle for a bonus and Kennedy wraps it around the rope. We hit the armbar for a bit before Kennedy heads up top. That’s fine with Matt, who crotches him down and grabs a superplex.

The Side Effect gets two but the Twist of Fate is countered into a neckbreaker to give Kennedy two of his own. Kennedy tries his own Twist of Fate but Hardy reverses into the real thing, only to have Kennedy grab the rope. The cover takes a bit too long though and Hardy rolls him up for the fast pin.

Rating: C. It’s weird seeing Kennedy pinned and having Matt Hardy be the one to do it is all the more confusing. The match itself was average at best, putting it fairly high up on the Kennedy scale. Matt wasn’t great in the ring at this point but you could pencil him in for a pretty watchable match, which is what you got here.

Raw Rebound.

Michelle McCool and Kristal talk trash about Ashley, who pops up with Jillian Hall for the big catfight. JBL is rather pleased.

Here are Great Khali and Daivari on the stage for a chat. Daivari asks if Undertaker is scared of Khali since he didn’t even show up last week. If Undertaker is this phenom, show yourself. Then the gong sounds and Undertaker pops up in the ring, with Daivari insisting that Khali isn’t afraid. Undertaker shoots lightning at Daivari, who falls down while Khali doesn’t move. Daivari has to beg Khali to not go to the ring and eventually he backs up.

Paul London vs. Jamie Noble

Brian Kendrick and Kid Kash are at ringside as JBL talks about the Pit Bulls’ politics to start. Noble is aggressive early on and hammers away on the ropes. An elbow to the face puts Noble down but he grounds London and grabs a rear naked choke. London breaks it up with a ram into the corner and he starts to kick Noble down. A belly to belly sets up a dropkick to the back for two but Noble’s powerslam gets the same. Kash goes after Kendrick on the floor though and the chase lets Kash get in a cheap shot on London. The fireman’s carry gutbuster gives Noble the cheating pin.

Rating: C. These two are both very talented and it makes sense to put them in the ring together to draw some interest for the pay per view title match. Just don’t do the same thing with the partners swapped in and you’re onto something. We got the idea here so why waste time by doing the same thing again?

Miz is VERY excited about the Diva Search girls in their bikinis for Boot Camp.

Sylvan thinks the Diva Search girls are beautiful, but not as beautiful as Quebec. Come see it. JBL: “I’d rather go to Rwanda. I hate this guy.”

Here’s Teddy Long for the contract signing between Batista and Mark Henry. The match is taking place at the Great American Bash, but we’ll make it a little bigger: the winner gets the World Title shot at Summerslam. As for tonight though, if either of them touches the other, they forfeit the match.

Batista is out first and talks about how good it is to be back. Coming through that curtain is a natural high that he cannot explain and, while getting a little choked up, Batista talks about how much he loves being here. Last year was the best year of his life but then Mark Henry took it all away. The jacket comes off as Batista talks about sitting at home for six months while Henry dominated Smackdown. If Henry thinks last week was payback, he has no idea what is coming for him at the Great American Bash.

Now it’s Henry, with a bandage on his head, coming out to say that Batista must feel good about himself. That was the worst beating he ever received and all it took was the World Champion and Batista jumping him from behind. If it didn’t cost him the Summerslam match, Henry would detach Batista’s head right now. Teddy calms things down and they both sign. The table is turned over but Henry leaves without getting physical.

United States Title: Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is defending and drives Finlay into the corner to start. That earns him a shot to the face and we hit the chinlock early on. That’s fine with Lashley, who is right back with a delayed vertical suplex as we take a break. Back with Finlay dropping him with a clothesline for two and sending Lashley shoulder first into the post. A drop toehold sets up the Crossface but Lashley fights up again.

Clotheslines and a belly to belly have Finlay bailing to the floor, where he throws a chair inside. With that not working, Finlay grabs the Shillelagh but Lashley hits a backdrop and tosses it up to the stage. They fight to the floor where Finlay misses a chair shot so the referee has to take them away. Cue the Leprechaun to throw Finlay another Shillelagh so he can knock Lashley cold for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. They had a pretty nice physical match here and there’s nothing wrong with putting the title on Finlay. Lashley already got a nice rub out of it and Finlay is tied into the show’s top heel. It wasn’t even a clean loss so Lashley gets to save fast. Good enough power brawl here and the title change is a fine switch.

Earlier today, Vito went shopping at the Mall of America.

Here’s Miz to introduce the Diva Search girls for Divas Boot Camp, as hosted by Sgt. Slaughter. It’s an obstacle course and the winner gets immunity.

Jen goes first and finishes in 42 seconds.

Layla, finishing with the splits gets 37 seconds.

Erica at 48 seconds.

Maryse at 41 seconds.

Milena, who loses her hat, at 49 seconds.

Rebecca, whose hair gets caught in the jump rope, at 49 seconds.

JT, who drops the jump rope, at 43 seconds.

Amy at 46 seconds.

Layla wins immunity, and more importantly, Sgt. Slaughter’s hat. I got that at a house show when I was a kid so I have to smile. This was exactly as advertised: good looking women in swimsuits running and jumping a lot. Throw in Move Along by All American Rejects as the song throughout and I’d call it a success.

Great American Bash rundown.

William Regal vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title with King Booker and Sharmell on commentary. Joined in progress with Regal holding a chinlock as the EDDIE chants don’t work as well here. Regal elbows him in the face for three straight twos. Rey is back up with a headscissors out of the corner and a basement dropkick for two of his own. Sharmell offers a quick distraction though, allowing Regal to crotch Rey on top. Regal drops a knee and puts on a chinlock as those chants start up again.

Cole gets so annoyed at Booker that he stands up for a bit as Rey is sent to the apron. You don’t do that to Rey, who is right back with a springboard seated senton. Booker gets up for a distraction this time, allowing Rey to hit a baseball slide low blow in the corner. The split legged moonsault gets two and Rey knocks Booker off the apron. The 619 into the top rope splash finishes Regal.

Rating: C. Another run of the mill match but it’s nice to see Mysterio getting a win, even if it’s over someone not quite in the main event. This is why a villain has lackeys though, as Rey beating one of Regal’s associates is a fine way to set him up for the pay per view title match. The match was all about Rey overcoming the odds and it worked out well enough, with Rey FINALLY not looking like a loser.

Rey hits a 619 on Booker to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was completely acceptable throughout and it’s hard to complain about the Diva Search stuff, as you can see exactly what they are going for with the whole thing. At the same time, if that cuts down on the stupid stuff like Vito having fun out there, it’s not the worst replacement imaginable. The Bash isn’t looking like the best show ever, but there are enough things on the show that I want to see, so at least it’s feeling better than Vengeance.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – July 7, 2006: The Long Road Home

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: July 7, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,993
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We are coming up on the Great American Bash and that means we need to actually start building up the show. Last week’s show featured what felt like the end of Bobby Lashley vs. King Booker, which should free Booker up to challenge Rey Mysterio for the World Title. It’s not like there is anyone else in the main event scene at the moment. Oh and Batista is back after six months off. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video is all about Mark Henry injuring Batista, who is finally back tonight for revenge. Or maybe the Eggs Benedict.

Opening sequence.

Battle Royal

Finlay, Simon Dean, William Regal, King Booker, Brian Kendrick, Paul London, Mr. Kennedy, Psicosis, Matt Hardy, Jamie Noble, Kid Kash, Scotty 2 Hotty, Funaki, Super Crazy

The winner gets a shot at Rey Mysterio at the Great American Bash. Booker and Regal come out last so JBL is on his feet with the hat over his heart. It’s a big brawl to start with everyone going to the brawling, including a rather heated fight between Crazy and Psicosis. JBL: “It looks like a border war. That’s why we need to build a wall.” Finlay dumps Crazy (JBL: “There went my hot dog vendor.”) with Psicosis following and the brawl starting again. Kash is tossed as we take a break.

Back with Kennedy breaking up the Worm with a clothesline. Noble, Dean, Funaki and Scotty are tossed out in a hurry with London and Kendrick going after Kennedy. Hardy gets in on it as well and Kennedy is out. We’re down to London, Kendrick, Finlay, Regal, Hardy and Booker so everyone pairs off.

London saves himself from Booker’s elimination attempt but Finlay gets rid of both London and Kendrick. Regal hits the Twist of Fate to Regal and dumps Finlay but Booker kicks him down. We’re down to Hardy, Regal and Booker so Hardy clotheslines both of them, only to have the double teaming put Hardy in trouble. Regal goes to eliminate Matt but Booker dumps both of them for the title shot.

Rating: D+. They got the winner right and that’s what matters the most here, but the rest of the match was pretty lame. You can only get so far with something like this, though Crazy and Psicosis deserve some praise for making the most out of their shot. They aren’t going to get many angles or even television time of their own so good for them for putting in that much effort.

Post match, Regal says ALL HAIL KING BOOKER and doesn’t even seem that annoyed.

Rey Mysterio doesn’t like what Mark Henry did to himself and Chavo Guerrero last week. He and Henry have unfinished business, but not he has to face King Booker at the Great American Bash. Every day he gets to bring home this title home is a great day, so at the Great American Bash, Booker is just one more away from a 619.

Here’s Sylvan, sending JBL into a rant about how much he can’t stand France. Sylvan invites us all to come to Quebec and maybe we can spend the summer there. JBL: “I’d rather spend it in h***.” Sylvan speaks some French and we see some shots of Montreal. JBL: “I’d rather have a root canal. This guy sucks.”

Miz pops up in the crowd and asks for a cheese steak before hyping up the rest of the show. He also confirms Batista vs. Mark Henry for the pay per view.

We look at some of Mark Henry’s path of rage, including injuring Chris Benoit.

We also look at some of Batista’s greatest triumphs, including beating JBL.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Super Crazy

Kennedy handles his own intro as usual but Crazy’s music cuts him off. That’s really not cool with Kennedy, who takes Crazy down as JBL calls Crazy a hot dog vendor again. After a trip to the floor with Crazy being sent into various things, Crazy is back in with some right hands. Kennedy drops him again though and hits a chinlock as JBL loses it over being named Jerk Of The Month in Smackdown Magazine.

The neck crank goes on and Kennedy gets annoyed at Crazy for daring to try a small package. Kennedy sends him face first into the mat and goes back to the neck cranking. The comeback is on again with some shots to the face and Crazy hits a slingshot dive. The Russian legsweep looks to set up the moonsault but here’s Psicosis for a distraction. Kennedy hits a Kenton Bomb for the pin.

Rating: C-. The amount of neck cranking makes me think this was a little longer than it needed to be but JBL’s rants were the best part. That tends to be the case, but at some point he is going to start taking away too much focus. The good thing is there isn’t much to be seen out of a Super Crazy vs. Mr. Kennedy match, as it isn’t like Kennedy can do much of note in the ring in the first place..

Kristal is yelling about Ashley but has to stop to interview Tatanka. He isn’t worried about facing Great Khali because he is facing his fears like a warrior. Tatanka looks to be about 71 years old here.

Video on the Caribbean tour.

Great Khali vs. Tatanka

The destruction ensues (with JBL making Indian vs. Indian jokes) so Daivari opens the casket, which is filled with white smoke. The screen goes wonky (of course) and Undertaker’s voice accepts the challenge.

Divas Search finalists video. Maryse being as fluent in English as she is after only speaking English for six months is very impressive.

Vito vs. Psicosis

We get a quick clip of Vito shopping for a purse in the Caribbean. Vito dances around to start and JBL (again) goes into a rant about Vito, including gay jokes about Cole. Psicosis tries to take him down to start so Vito strikes a pose, complete with the blurred out image. A suplex keeps the blurring up but Vito fights out of the corner as Cole explains that this is not about sexual orientation.

Hold on though as Vito stops for the Macarena (JBL: “THE MAN NEEDS A CHROMOSOME CHECK!” Psicosis is back with a reverse chinlock and another suplex but here’s Crazy for a distraction, setting up the dress over the head armbar to give Vito the win. JBL loses it again as only he can.

Rating: D. Again, ignoring all of the shenanigans, the match wasn’t very good in the first place. They were having a boring match which was only there for the sake of having Crazy come in at the end and that doesn’t make for the most thrilling use of five minutes. It also doesn’t help that Vito’s “he’s just having fun” deal is getting old in a hurry, but you had to know that was coming.

Booker promises to become World Champion and Regal toasts him with champagne.

Batista won the World Title at Wrestlemania.

Mark Henry injured Kurt Angle.

Pitbulls vs. Funaki/Scotty 2 Hotty

Noble jumps Funaki to start and a double clothesline gives Kash two. It’s back to Noble for some shots to the neck and choking on the apron. Kash plants Funaki for two and hammers away again as the aggression is working so far. Funaki avoids a charge though and the hot tag brings in Scotty to clean house. Everything breaks down and Noble hits a fireman’s carry gutbuster to drop Funaki. A spear/Russian legsweep combination gives Kash the pin.

Rating: C. The Pitbulls are a good example of a team of two guys who had nothing else going on and just needed a fresh repackaging. They aren’t doing anything that reinvents the wheel but you have two people who can work and get a new gimmick. Maybe it works and maybe it doesn’t, but at least they’re getting a chance and are making the most of it. That is something that could be used again and it could do a lot of good.

ECW Rebound.

Great American Bash rundown, with Bobby Lashley defending the US Title against Finlay and William Regal being announced.

Finlay and Regal agree that the title match is every man for himself but Finlay has to chase the Leprechaun away from Regal’s leg.

Gregory Helms vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title. During his entrance, Helms says Lashley is a Superman but Helms is the Kryptonite. Joined in progress after a break as commentary talks about how long Helms has held the Cruiserweight Title. Lashley hits a rather delayed vertical suplex for two, which JBL says he hasn’t seen since Rick Rude. Ok then. Helms gets in a few shots of his own and grabs a chinlock but Lashley powers up to his feet without much effort. Back up and Lashley charges into a boot in the corner but comes back with a powerslam for the pin. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: C-. Another match that didn’t have the time to build into anything and doesn’t exactly do much for Helms. No he shouldn’t be beating the US Champion, but maybe they shouldn’t be having Helms in this spot if he’s going to be beaten so decisively. Lashley winning is fine, but don’t have him beat another champion like that.

Mark Henry promises to make Batista’s comeback the shortest in history.

Miz is still very fired up about what we have been seeing, and introduces the returning Batista.

Here is Batista for his big return, with commentary staying silent so the moment can sink in. Batista doesn’t waste time in calling out Henry, threatening to come get him if Henry doesn’t come out. Cue Henry for the staredown in the aisle but he turns to go back, only to have Rey Mysterio jump him. Batista comes out and gets to Henry, who is sent hard into the steps. The steps go off of Henry’s head as JBL sounds scared of what we’re seeing. Referees come down but Batista is too busy beating on Henry with a chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This one really didn’t work out for the most part as the entire thing was built around Batista returning and King Booker becoming the new #1 contender. The good thing is that they have more of a direction now, but you should be able to see where things are going for the next few months. At the same time though, the wrestling was pretty worthless tonight, as we need to drag the worthless Mysterio Era to the end of its run and that could make the next few weeks a bit rough. That was the case here, and it wasn’t very good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2009 (2012 Redo): How Will He Survive?

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2009
Date: November 22, 2009
Location: Verizon Center, Washington, D.C.
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

We get clips from every Survivor Series for the opening video. The extended clips stop at 1990 though.

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

The Miz, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger

John Morrison, Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay

On the other side you have four World Champions and Drew McIntyre (later known as Drew Galloway in TNA). Miz is US Champion here. McIntyre (a Scottish wrestler with a lot of potential) has only been around for about three months and Sheamus (an Irish brawler) has only been on Raw less than a month.

Bourne and Swagger get things going with Evan grabbing a quick rollup for two. Ziggler comes in for the Hennig neck snap and a modified belly to belly suplex for two. Back to Swagger who pounds on the back of Bourne and brings Dolph back in again, hooking a half crab on Evan. Bourne escapes and comes back with a hurricanrana out of the corner and a jumping knee to the face.

Off to Matt vs. Drew as things slow down a bit. They send each other into opposite corners with Matt taking over via a neckbreaker and the yelling legdrop for two. Another neckbreaker puts McIntyre down but Matt goes up and misses a moonsault press. A second Future Shock (called a Kobashi DDT by Striker) gets a second elimination for Drew, leaving us with Morrison vs. Sheamus/Miz/McIntyre.

Rey Mysterio vs. Batista

Rey takes the leg out quickly and tries the 619 but Batista bails. Rey follows and is immediately slammed against the apron and Big Dave takes over. Mysterio tries to fire off some kicks but Batista clotheslines his head off to stop Rey cold. The Batista Bomb is escaped as is a powerslam and Rey goes after the knee.

We recap Team Kofi vs. Team Orton. Orton was all evil and psycho so Kofi stood up to him. This resulted in what looked to be one of the best face pushes in a long time, as Kofi showed some AWESOME emotion and looking like a serious threat to take Orton down. He destroyed an Orton racecar and then got in a BIG brawl with Orton all over Madison Square Garden, capped off by a Boom Drop through a table.

Team Randy Orton vs. Team Kofi Kingston

Kofi Kingston, MVP, Mark Henry, R-Truth, Christian

Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, CM Punk, William Regal

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Jericho misses a charge and Undertaker pounds away on Show before clotheslining him down. Show heads to the floor and Jericho gets beaten up for awhile but the big bald guy pulls the champ to the floor. Undertaker is all cool with that though and posts Show before getting crotched when attempting Old School on Jericho. Chris superplexes him down but Undertaker gets the knees up to block the Lionsault. Jericho counters the counter and puts on the Walls, but Show breaks it up with a chokeslam.

The survivors of Team Miz (Miz, McIntyre and Sheamus) brag a bit and claim to be the future. Eh kind of.

Team Mickie James vs. Team Michelle McCool

Michelle McCool, Layla, Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, Alicia Fox

Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Melina, Gail Kim, Eve Torres

Batista liked hurting Rey.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

Cena signs some autographs for National Guard members to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

Original: B

Redo: C+

Batista vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Team Kingston vs. Team Orton

Original: B+

Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Team Mickie James vs. Team Michelle McCool

Original: D

Redo: D-

John Cena vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: C+

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B-

That’s probably about as close as this is going to get.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/18/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2009-the-pg-powers-explode/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2009 (Original): Night Of The Triple Threats

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2009
Date: November 22, 2009
Location; Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker, Michael Cole

Well here we are. After a month of build up, we’re at the Survivor Series. Since most of you have been watching the buildup, I’ll spare you the details of it. The card looks pretty good if nothing else. I’m not wild on the treatment the two triple threats are getting as they seem like the belts are being made silly which simply never works for me. I will say this though: the team matches have been booked and built very well.

That’s the key to these shows I think as you can advance feuds, like Orton vs. Kofi without actually having them fight. That’s invaluable as in today’s market you have so many PPVs dominating the market that saving some of the matches is the best thing possible. Let’s do it as I’m doing this one live so it’s going to be a bit less wordy.

The opening video talks about the history of the show. I’ve been doing that for a month so whatever.

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

Miz, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Ziggler, Swagger
Morrison, Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay

NOW THIS IS MORE LIKE IT! This is what the Series should be about: promoting the midcard. The most important thing about the midcard here: it exists. For so many years there just hasn’t been one as everyone is just sent to the main event or is a jobber. Here are ten guys that are firmly in the midcard. The heels are quite a team actually and there’s at least four great theme songs in there. Sheamus is a very good monster heel.

I’d bet on Lawler trying to cause Sheamus his match. The description of Miz is perfect: you might like him but you just won’t admit it. How true is that? Apparently Sheamus’ day may come tonight. There’s nothing like that great Lawler analysis. We start with Swagger and Bourne, which is a rather odd but interesting pairing. I guess that’s the point here. Allegedly Miz was at the first Survivor Series. So is he like a poor man’s Foley or something?

The stream isn’t being very nice so this could be a bit spotty here. As for reasons as to why these guys are here, more or less most of these feuds aren’t happening anymore but they were recently enough so I guess that counts for something. Ok the live idea didn’t work as I couldn’t find a good enough stream so this is being written very early Tuesday morning now. DAng it’s weird writing one of these since I haven’t done one in months now.

Seeing Sheamus after the ending of Raw is just a bit odd. Swagger is just made of awesome. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a small package blocked before. Ziggler beats the heck out of Bourne which makes me wonder if he’ll, meaning Ziggler, will ever get a push like so many people want him to. Evan Bourne is freaking scary in the air man. We get the first tag for the faces as Hardy comes in. Less than 20 seconds later he tags Bourne back in and the Shooting Star puts out Ziggler.

In about 10 seconds Bourne is out to a double arm DDT. Did Striker just say Finlay vs. McIntyre has been lighting up Friday nights? That’s very stupid but I like Striker just for his references alone so there we are. Finlay and Sheamus stare each other down and Sheamus just jumps up with a bicycle kick. I LOVE THAT! He was just like screw this standing around nonsense and kicked the tar out of him to pin him.

We’re at 4-3 now if you were a bit confused. We keep hearing about Lawler and Sheamus and no one really cares as Jerry has come off like a jerk during this whole thing. Miz calls spots to Hardy which Striker uses the Billy Graham method of saying Miz is trash talking him to cover it up, which is a good idea if nothing else. Hardy is taking a beating here which is a tradition of Survivor Series. Even on the apron Morrison has such a great presence. You can’t teach something like that.

Does Matt have a single move that doesn’t work on the neck at all? Morrison got a POP. Something in me wants to see Swagger vs. Morrison in a long feud. That would just be awesome in my mind. Yeah I’m a Morrison mark now. The guy is just freaking awesome. The referee went down which apparently is a legit injury. Starship Pain, which is a sweet name if there ever has been one, ties us up. It’s Miz, Sheamus and McIntyre vs. Shelton, Hardy and Morrison.

Miz and Morrison could main event a small PPV someday. Shelton is freaking insane in the ring. Now if only they could get him a personality. Miz pins Shelton with the Breakdown which takes less time to type than the regular name. That right there is what Miz needs more than anything else: pins over more established stars. He’s viewed as a guy with limited credibility and the more wins he gets the faster that goes away and the faster he becomes a more complete wrestler.

Like it or not, he’s the real deal and he’s going to be around for awhile. I’m still undecided on McIntyre. He’s not bad, but I don’t see him as being as great as everyone says he is. If nothing else he uses a DDT so I can’t complain. He gets us down to 3-1 and I’m marking for Morrison here, despite knowing the ending.

Morrison of course gets his head handed to him as we get even more Rockers comparisons, which doesn’t work as both guys have potential to be somewhat big deals. Eventually the Razor’s Edge from Sheamus puts out Morrison, giving us three sole survivors as WWE makes my head shake more and more.

Rating: B. This was easily the best choice for the opener. The midcard gets a very solid push here which is what these matches can do better than anything else. The ending was very good also as it would have been unrealistic for Morrison o fight off all three at once. He should have gone down here and having it 3-1 keeps him credible. This was a solid match as the heels winning is just fine. This was very good and an excellent opener.

The black push continues as Christian is the only white guy on his team. Only this comes to mind:

The segment is funny if nothing else. Kofi without the accent has upped his credibility about 1000%. I still don’t buy everything that is said about Christian. I think that’s his biggest issue: his name. Christian. It just does nothing for me at all. I’d say that’s the main problem.

We recap Rey vs. Batista, which has to be the best heel turn in a good while. The angle sucks badly as they weren’t really best friends or anything or even close so the whole thing didn’t work. Anyway, let’s get to this as the package goes on way too long.

Rey Mysterio vs. Batista

This match has a no harm clause meaning that if Batista hurts him he can’t be sued, which more or less gives away the result. As I said in the LD, only WWE would have Batista’s first major heel match in his hometown where he’s going to get a massive pop. Ok, I’m sick of any and all references to Eddie. He passed away four years ago. Yes it was tragic. Yes he’s missed. STOP FREAKING MAKING ANGLES ABOUT HIM!!!

If you want to remember him fondly, stop using him as a prop. That’s absurd. Ok, so usually I write the reviews as the match goes, but based on what I read in the LD, this was a minute long squash. I have no idea where the whole part about not being able to respect Rey again came from. The way you guys were talking about it, Rey got less offense in than he did against Khali when he was world champion. This was perfectly fine.

In wrestling, you have to have a high level of suspension of disbelief. Rey as a credible main event guy is something that certainly falls under that category. There’s no reason to believe that he should have a chance against someone of Batista’s size. The thing is in this match, he got a TON of offense in. More or less Batista had to get his hands on Rey one time and the rest would be history. Rey got out of a ton of stuff and had Batista in trouble.

I seriously do not get where the squash thing is coming from. Batista is supposed to be an animal and he mauled Rey after he hit the first big move. Was Rey supposed to kick out of the Batista Bomb? He got a beatdown after a big power move. This was perfectly fine and there was nothing wrong with it. Rey has been beaten up before by people like Chavo Guerrero of all people and he came back fine from it. He’ll come back, likely at TLC and cost Batista the title. What was wrong here?

Rating: C+. The match itself was fine. It was short but it did its job very well. Honestly, what do you want from this match? It did everything it was supposed to do which mainly was getting Rey off of TV for awhile. It did that and allowed Batista to get a big boost as a monster heel. What more do you want here?

We jump to the back with Team Orton who might as well be called team losers here given the endings to the first two matches.

Promo for the Raw that aired last night which was quite good.

Team Orton vs. Team Kingston

Orton, Rhodes, DiBiase, Regal, Punk
Kingston, Christian, R-Truth, MVP, Mark Henry

The feuds are about as basic as you could think of here but that works fine here. We’re starting out with Henry vs. Orton. Please, make it quick. Henry is named the Chef of Hell’s Kitchen by Striker. I don’t get it. Striker goes on to point out that Orton is a Royal Rumble winner which could play into strategy here. Cole points out he’s a six time world champion as well. Ok, the Rumble thing makes a little sense I guess as both matches are about survival.

The world champion thing tells me one thing: titles change hands too often. No one mentions that Orton has been the sole survivor three times because that clearly has no effect on anything at all. Either way, an RKO takes Henry out in about a minute so at least he didn’t fill up the screen for too long. On paper this more or less should be Christian and Kofi again Punk and Orton.

Everyone else on those teams are more or less jobbers or midcard guys that aren’t going to do anything here. Thank goodness they didn’t call that move where Punk jumped and did a front flip over MVP a belly to belly suplex. At least they got that right. My boy hits a GTS to put Truth out, but does a very smart thing before doing it: he pulls Truth to his corner before going for the cover.

It’s little things like that which can make a wrestler be a step ahead of everyone else. It’s smart from a kayfabe perspective which so few people do yet. They’re really talking Kofi up here which is the best thing they could do. After a Killswitch misses, a pretty nice spinning sunset flip from the middle rope puts out DiBiase to make it 4-3.

Kofi comes in to a solid pop. If you haven’t seen it, take a look at the MSG fight between Kofi and Orton. It made Kofi’s career. Rhodes is called the Triforce of the Blue Eyed Bandit. I’m not sure if I like that or not. After a blind tag MVP hits what is actually a Mafia Kick on Regal for the pin to tie us up at 3. Striker is just on a higher level than Cole and King behind the mic.

There’s such a flow to him out there and he sounds completely comfortable. Ballin might be the most absurd move in wrestling since the People’s Elbow. IT’S A FREAKING ELBOW DROP!!! Thankfully Rhodes hits Cross Roads to put him out. That’s a major step for Legacy as having their own individual finishers sets them up for an eventual singles push. Think about all of the great teams that have split and all of them had singles moves to end matches with.

A Killswitch puts out Rhodes, and amazingly enough we’re down to a two on two match with the four biggest stars in this thing. Who would have seen that coming? From out of almost nowhere, Christian hits a Killswitch on Orton but Punk makes a save. Orton is up in about 15 seconds and Christian walks into an RKO to make it 2-1 with Punk and Orton against Kofi.

Punk gets him up for the GTS but because he kicks him feet he gets out. That’s all anyone has to do to get out of a move like that. The magical feet kicking knows no bounds. Orton hasn’t been in at all since it’s been one on one. Orton has an awesome silhouette. He just looks awesome standing there. If nothing else we’re getting a good Kofi vs. Punk match. I love what they’ve been doing with Kofi.

Instead of the way they built up Hardy who kept getting closer and closer but didn’t actually win, they’re having Kofi just rise up and start beating everyone he faces. I like that as it’s a different style to the push and it’s working very well. He catches Punk in a rollup and gets him. Orton walks in and almost immediately the Trouble In Paradise ends this. Kofi’s skyrocket push continues.

Rating: B+. Again, this was a very well done match. They knew what they were doing and it showed. They got rid of the six guys that meant nothing and got it down to what mattered. This match was designed to make Kofi look great again and they did just that. He pinned two men that within the last two months had been world champions completely clean. That’s a huge boost to Kofi and puts even more heat on Kofi vs. Orton. I loved this and it came off very well.

Don’t try this at home.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Big Show vs. Chris Jericho

I’m really not big at all on the idea of having more or less the same match on both brands for the title, especially triple threats. Granted I don’t like triple threats anyway as it’s all about a gimmick that’s been done so many freaking times that it has lost any and all kinds of credibility it once may have had but again that’s neither here nor there.

Not to mention everything in this match turns into yet another formula match, which is one guy goes down and we have a one on one match, then repeat that with a different order of people. Naturally I could have written double this in the time Taker’s entrance takes. Yeah he’s still coming. I had a nice bowl of soup during his entrance.

It ticked me off that I was out of soup and had to get dressed and go to the store and get some soup and then come home and make it but at least I didn’t miss any of the match since Taker was 90% done with his entrance when I got back. Naturally, the match goes the formula direction for the majority of it. I’m not sold at all on splitting Show and Jericho already. They more or less are the tag division at this point, but granted last night on Raw they were announced to be fighting DX at TLC for the belts.

Again, I don’t like this as it’s two guys that won’t be together in 3 months because THEY ARE NOT A TAG TEAM. They’re singles guys with nothing else to do so let’s just throw them together again. They’re just kind of going through the motions here with near falls being broken up by the third guy every time.

That’s fine as it builds some drama, but at the same time it really doesn’t do much at all. It’s repetitive, which is never a good thing in a match. It’s not a bad match, but it’s not that interesting at all. Finally Jericho takes a shot to the head and Show goes into Hell’s Gate for the tap. Not wild on the ending but whatever.

Rating: C+. This was your run of the mill triple threat. Granted that might be because Show was in it and he just can’t do anything most of the time. What the heck happened to him? In WCW he was the MAN. Anyway, this wasn’t bad, but dang it went as by the book as you could ask for. I don’t think anyone believed Taker was dropping the belt here, but geez could they have been any less boring about it?

Josh Matthews, who should be thankful for having a job given that he’s completely worthless, is with the survivors of Team Miz who say they’re all great.

Face Divas vs. Heel Divas

McCool, Jillian, Beth Phoenix, Alicia Fox, Layla
Mickie James, Gail Kim, Kelly, Eve, Melina

How sad is it that I have no clue what show most of these girls are on? So Melina is champion yet Mickie is the captain. I hate these matches as all of four people care and it’s a T&A match. Yeah the girls look good, but that’s all there is to it. The matches are the same every year and next to nothing ever changes. Why are these girls feuding? No reason, other than some are faces and some are heels.

I am bored out of my mind with this match. Why am I supposed to care about any of these women? Kelly eliminates Layla to absolutely no reaction. McCool apparently disrespects AJ Styles by using his finishing move, despite AJ being known for all his other stuff more than that. That was so overblown it was ridiculous. Eve is just worthless in the ring and it’s pitiful. The thing is, she looks good in shorts and a tight top so she’s told she can wrestle.

She puts out Jillian as still no one really cares. Beth puts Eve out in a few seconds to get us down to 3-3. Kelly goes out despite her face never hitting the mat. Mickie and Beth botch a crucifix but it gets three anyway. We have Mickie and Melina vs. Alicia and McCool.

Alicia goes out due to a high level of suck so we’re down to 2-1 as McCool tries so hard to get people to care about her or accept her as anything but the vagina Taker gets off in. That’s an image I didn’t want. Finally after far too long of a match Melina beats McCool to end this mess.

Rating: D. This was, as usual, a waste of time. The wrestling is ok, but geez what is it going to take to get it through the heads of the writers that NO ONE CARES??? Seriously, when was the last time you saw the crowd into a Divas match for a reason other than what the girls looked like? The division is a joke and always will be a joke because there are no characters, there are no stories, and the champions are flavors of the month, except for a few here and there.

Mickie, the most talented one, is criticized for not being a stick but having some meat on her which makes her more realistic. That’s evil apparently, and again shows everything that’s wrong with the women in wrestling. Scratch that. Everything wrong with the division is better.

We recap Batista vs. Rey, despite the match already happening. It sets up Batista saying he’s not sorry.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. John Cena

DX has gotten some heat for coming out together, and I can understand that. It makes it look like they don’t care about being champion, which is the point of the stupid match and being a wrestler in the first place but whatever. In a great moment, Shawn kicks HHH a few seconds into the match. I love that. He just made up for coming out with HHH as he says screw this guy, I want the title. That’s awesome.

This however creates a good thing and a bad thing, as we have the usual greatness that is Cena vs. Shawn, but it also sends us straight into another formula of a match, which is the last thing we need here after what we had earlier. Anyway we hit the floor after some good stuff, and as Cena is going to FU Shawn through a table, HHH is back for the save. He makes up for earlier and hits a spinebuster through the table with Shawn.

And yep, it’s formula time as it’s HHH vs. Cena in the ring while Shawn recovers. And after more good stuff there, we get the DX somewhat decent combustion. It of course ends with Cena and the STF, but Shawn gets a crossface instead. This is another ok match that is just pure formula stuff. It’s just take two guys, have them fight for three minutes then replace one guy.

Shawn kicks both guys, but HHH falls on Cena while Shawn falls outside for no apparent reason. We do get the always fun let’s go Cena, Cena sucks chants. I love those. FU to HHH as we’re in pure finishers/counters only. The problem with having double main events like these is that it keeps one from being the real main event.

It makes this match seem like less of something because we did it just 25 minutes ago. Just to further emphasize my point of only finishers at the end, Shawn kicks HHH for the third time and Cena hits an FU on Shawn to slam him into HHH for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was your run of the mill triple threat. This wasn’t bad, but dang it went as by the book as you could ask for. I don’t think anyone believed Cena was dropping the belt here, but geez could they have been any less boring about it? In case that looks familiar to you, it’s because it’s word for word the same as I put about the Smackdown title match but with Cena instead of Taker and the Big Show part edited out.

That’s because more or less it was the same thing but with different people in it. That’s the problem with these matches and booking like this: it’s repetitive, which makes it very boring, at least to me. The wrestling was fine given who you had in there, but MAN was it predictable.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a good show and that’s primarily because of one thing: the booking MADE SENSE. There is not one thing here where you have to scratch your head and wonder what they heck they were thinking. Everything went as it should have and it worked out well. Feuds were advanced, the right guys went over, no big names lost credibility, and some feuds were ended. What more could you ask for?

The one thing that you could ask for was a more creative way to have the title matches. I hate matches where it’s just the same thing that it’s always been but with different people which is what the world title matches were here. It’s a good show, but it won’t blow you away by any means.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2008 (2012 Redo): It’s Not That Bad

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2008
Date: November 23, 2008
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 12,498
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Jim Ross, Tazz

JR and Taz talk about the Hardy issue and say that ABC and TMZ picked up the story. I seem to remember that being a lie.

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Shawn Michaels, Rey Mysterio, Cryme Tyme, Great Khali

John Bradshaw Layfield, The Miz, John Morrison, Kane, MVP

Shawn and JBL are feuding over Shawn being broke and needing money form JBL, Cryme Tyme (Shad Gaspard and JTG, two thug characters) are feuding with Miz and Morrison, Kane has been hunting Mysterio and Khali and MVP (in the middle of a massive losing streak that would result in a face turn and the US Title) are there to fill out the lineups. MVP and Mysterio get things going as all of the commentators are talking at once.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Candice Michelle, Jillian Hall

Smackdown: Michelle McCool, Victoria, Maria, Maryse, Natalya

Matt Hardy says that Jeff was hit in the back of the head with a blunt object, ending any drug speculation.

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Team Orton vs. Team Batista

Randy Orton, Mark Henry, William Regal, Cody Rhodes, Shelton Benjamin

Batista, Kofi Kingston, CM Punk, R-Truth, Matt Hardy

Punk immediately charges at Regal and hits the GTS for the elimination in about ten seconds. Shelton gets a very fast two on Punk before pounding away on his back. Off to Kofi who grabs a front facelock. Kofi is even more over here than usual as he went to college in Boston. Kofi tries a monkey flip but Shelton lands on his feet and brings in Henry to pound away slowly.

Batista immediately spears down Henry to make it 3-1 as Shelton comes in. Benjamin gets caught in a spinebuster almost immediately and the Batista Bomb gets is down to 2-1. Cody comes in and peppers Batista with some right hands before charging into a boot. Batista powerslams Rhodes down and says Orton is next. Batista hits the Bomb on Rhodes but Randy made a blind tag while Cody was in the air. The RKO gets the elimination and win for Rhodes and Orton.

Hardy is officially out of the title match tonight.

Smackdown World Title: Vladimir Kozlov vs. HHH

They trade arm holds on the mat and then trade even more arm holds on the same mat. Back up and HHH hits the high knee and a facebuster followed by the DDT for no cover. The fans chant for TNA before HHH hits the spinebuster. Kozlov counters the Pedigree and hits the headbutt to the chest to take HHH down. Vladimir sends HHH into the corner and out to the floor where very little happens.

Hardy – 57%

Triple Threat – 38%

Kozlov – 5%

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

Both guys head up to the top with Cena slamming him to the mat, followed up by the top rope Fameasser. Cena is all fired up now but Jericho breaks up the FU and hits a Codebreaker for a delayed two. Jericho takes over and hits a clothesline followed by an EVIL smirk. He smirks a bit too much though and Cena grabs the STFU. Cena has to try to pull the hold back to the middle of the ring and Jericho kicks him away. The champ tries a small package but Cena pulls him up into the FU for the pin and the title.

Cena celebrates to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Original: B+

Redo: C

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Original: D-

Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Team Orton vs. Team Batista

Original: C-

Redo: B

Edge vs. HHH vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Original: D+

Redo: D

John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

I’ve flipped on the two male Survivor Series matches but other than that it’s about the same.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/17/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2008-let-jericho-beat-cena-once-just-one-time/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2008 (Original): Welcome Back

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2008
Date: November 23, 2008
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Matt Striker, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

So here we are at the most recent Survivor Series. This show is built around one thing and one thing only: the return of John Cena. He was coming back from being hurt by Batista, so therefore he’s the #1 contender to Chris Jericho’s title. Considering this is in his hometown, the ending is pretty clear. On the Smackdown side we have the triple threat between HHH, Kozlov and allegedly Hardy, but this was the infamous stairwell angle that I’ve never gotten why it had such a huge backlash.

More on that later though. Anyway, Hardy isn’t there so we have a one on one match allegedly. There’s also three Survivor Series matches so that should be good. They’re going with longer matches this year, which I’m fine with. Let’s get to it and end this review series as even I’m fed up with this show at this point.

The intro is all about Cena and survival. No other matches are mentioned at all. Good to know that the company thinks so much of its other wrestlers. The theme song is by AC/DC though so I can’t really complain. We immediately start talking about the Hardy incident where they claim that ABC, CNN and TMZ have all talked about this.

That would surprise me, but I’d be more surprised if they would flat out lie like that on a live PPV. That’s something that’s a bit hard to cover up, so maybe those outlets did. TMZ I could certainly see doing it. Anyway, Ross’ voice sounds a bit off. Maybe he’s sick or something. Let’s get to it.

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

HBK, Cryme Tyme, Great Khali, Rey Mysterio
JBL, Miz, Morrison, MVP, Kane

The feuds here are pretty simple. HBK vs. JBL, the tag teams, Kane vs. Rey and MVP and Great Khali aren’t really feuding but they just didn’t have anything else to do. My goodness Lillian is gorgeous. How can you have multiple sole survivors? The money aspect of JBL vs. HBK hasn’t kicked off yet but they’re fighting a bit. These entrances are taking WAY too long. To say Rey is over is the understatement of the year.

MVP is in the middle of his big losing streak here that would ultimately make him a face. Miz and Morrison are just awesome, plain and simple. We start with MVP vs. Rey which should be a decent little match. If his partner didn’t suck so much, JTG would be a decent wrestler. He’s certainly the more talented member of his team, but dang he’s small. He’s also eliminated by a Drive By from MVP. He literally turns around and is hit by a Khali chop and pinned.

Well that’s a decent way to get rid of two guys I guess. It’s big on big now with Kane vs. Khali. The camera shot they use of looking up at them is really a cool looking thing. With an assist from Khali, Rey takes out Kane with a very high splash. We move on to Rey vs. Morrison here which should definitely be good.

The commentators are getting a lot of little verbal jabs in at each other which are at least being taken well. Good grief Shad is scary strong. Someone finally points out that Shad wears weird boots when he wrestles.

The commentators get into a long and weird debate/joke fest about 80s bands which makes no sense. They’re interrupted by Miz taking out Shad with a Reality Check. It’s 3-3 here as it’s HBK, Rey and Khali against Miz, Morrison and JBL. We get HBK vs. Miz which is a pretty cool match that I’d like to see more of. After JBL and Miz punch the heck out of HBK’s face, his eye is busted open a bit.

I would love to see Shawn vs. Morrison in a 20 minute match once. It would be awesome. Morrison starts using Shawn’s old moves, after having beaten him with a superkick on Raw this past week. That’s a cool angle when you think about it. After a long time of being in trouble, HBK makes the tag and Rey comes in. He goes completely human highlight reel and takes out Miz like he’s a jobber.

The you can’t wrestle chants kick off for JBL, which I’ve always thought was unfair. He’s a big power brawler. It wouldn’t make sense to have him do flips and technical stuff. It’s not in his nature. Rey has been held down his entire career? Really Grisham? He’s a former world champion, the greatest cruiserweight of all time and a surefire hall of fame guy. He’s really been held down. Morrison gets a nice counter to the bulldog move that Rey does.

I like it when people use counters to signature moves. It’s nice to see as it can’t be as hard as it’s implied. I don’t think it’s fair to say that JBL can’t wrestle, but dang his offense was pretty limited. Almost all he’s used are punches, clubbing blows and shoulder blocks. Throw out a powerbomb or a suplex or something buddy. Shawn comes in and after the nip up throws out a crotch chop to Morrison, foreshadowing the inevitable DX reunion number 18,000.

HBK and JBL go to the floor and fight it out resulting in JBL getting counted out but in a way that reminds me of a video game for some reason. Shawn almost walks into what would have been a SICK Sweet Chin Music from Morrison but naturally he ducks and kicks John’s head off for the pin and the victory.

Rating: B+. This was about as good of an opener as we were going to get. All of the eliminations made sense which is a lot more than I can say for some past matches. The feuds were kept alive which is the biggest thing you can ask for also. Everyone but JBL looked on their game out there and the result was solid. This is the epitome of a good Survivor Series match.

We go to the back where Eve, who is about to fall out of her top, is with HHH. HHH says that Jeff will be back, but tonight it’s HHH vs. Kozlov, which is what it should have been all along. HHH says that tonight is Kozlov’s first Survivor Series, his first title match, and his first loss. That’s a very short but good promo that hit exactly what it was supposed to do. There was a real chance that the Russian got the belt tonight, despite everyone on here knowing how much of a disaster that would have been.

Raw Divas vs. Smackdown Divas

Raw: Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Kelly, Candice Michelle, Jillian
Smackdown: Michelle, Victoria, Maria, Maryse, Natalya

This is Survivor Series rules. Santino is with Beth here. The Divas are wearing their respective brands shirts which they all pull off. Yep, this is all about wrestling ability. Oh yeah Michelle and Beth are the respective champions here. Ok so more or less this is how the first few eliminations go: rollup, move, rollup, rollup, move. That’s the issue with the modern Divas.

So many of them win matches with nothing but rollups, which I can’t accept is due to anything other than a lack of knowing how to do anything else. That’s just sad. To be fair they’re not just school boys, but they’re all leverage moves or jackknife pins or something like that. That’s fine once in awhile but it eventually gets really old really fast. The Smackdown Divas keep arguing over who the captain is since Michelle is eliminated.

After that big rant, Jillian is taken out by a rollup. Within seconds a Northern Lights suplex takes out Maria. That’s another thing: the eliminations are coming WAY too fast. Seconds later, Maryse takes out Candice with an inverted figure four which in essence is a Sharpshooter where you sit on the leg instead of pulling on it. The final two are Beth and Maryse. Beth wins it with a big power move. This was just boring. Santino of course celebrates because he needs to validate his existence.

Rating: D-. This was just a waste of time. The eliminations were like 45 seconds apart, the moves were just repetitive, this accomplished nothing, and no one cared. That’s the main problems I can think of right now and I’m sure there were more in there. I don’t get why these matches happen. I guess to keep pests off of Vince’s back for doing swimsuit contests.

Matt Hardy says he doesn’t know what happened to Jeff. He knows that Jeff got hit in the head but that’s it.

We recap Taker vs. Big Show’s 10,387th feud which was exactly the same as it always had been. This time it’s a casket match. Big Show says Taker has no power over him. That more or less seals the ending of this match.

Big Show vs. Undertaker

Taker comes out first here to his mega entrance, which comes off as odd to me. Not the big entrance but that he comes out first. That’s just odd. Oh apparently that was just a group of random druids bringing the casket down. Yeah that’s just odd. I always love thinking about the druids getting lunch or something. It’s just amusing. Naturally the gong gets a bit pop.

This starts in the ring for about 12 seconds with most of that being Taker having the casket raised up. Immediately after that we’re on the floor with Show in control. I really don’t like these kinds of matches as they’re just so basic and simple that they’re not very interesting for the most part. Thankfully the ECW guys were allowed to leave.

I’ve always felt sorry for them having to sit out there all night long for a single match and then do nothing for the other two and a half hours but watch the show. Dang the announcers have nice chairs. A legdrop puts Show through the table because we’ve never seen that before. Hey we’re in the ring for a change! This is the big problem with feuds like this: we know Taker is going to win and that Show is just there to give Taker something to do until he’s back in the title hunt.

It gets old after awhile, but it’s kept Taker very fresh over the years so I can’t really complain. Show gets Taker down and has him in the casket but wants the referees to shut it, allegedly due to fear. Of course Taker pops up and starts his comeback. Ross calls Show a mastodon and before the word is out of his mouth he goes up for a Vader Bomb. It didn’t work but whatever.

Show gets out of the casket as apparently we need to do even more of the same stuff. The crowd is kind of into it but not really. They react to spots and that’s about all. With Taker down in the ring, Show tips the casket over and starts to leave. A wall of fire stops him and heeeeeeeere’s Taker. A bunch of druids bring out another casket as Taker is back up. They’re really making Show look strong here which is a good thing.

In something unique they stand the casket up. That’s new if nothing else. After the next ridiculous comeback from Taker, he beats on Show a bit and then Irish whips him into the standing casket which falls over and closes to end it. That was actually a cool ending but it got ZERO reaction. I mean no one did anything at all when it happened.

Rating: D+. This was a waste of time. No one cared, mainly due to who was in it. There was no reason at all to watch this and it was just boring. These two have fought so many times and had so many boring matches that there’s just no reason to watch it. The ending was cool if nothing else, which is why it passes.

Buy Armageddon! We promise it won’t suck!

The Colons hit on the Bellas, who are indeed hot despite what some would like you to believe. Of all things, the Gobbledygooker comes in. I wish I was making that up. They think it’s Charlie Haas, but he walks up. It’s the Boogeyman.

Team Orton is in the back. Orton says he’d rather be fighting Jericho, leading to him and Cody arguing. Legacy hadn’t started yet but it was coming very soon.

Team Batista vs. Team Orton

Batista, Matt Hardy, CM Punk, Kofi Kingston, R-Truth
Orton, Rhodes, Shelton Benjamin, Regal, Mark Henry

No recap here, which more or less is the case because there’s very little story. The main thing here is about Orton and Batista. Orton put Batista out with a punt a few months earlier and is ticked off about it, leading to this. Punk and Kofi are tag champions here in the middle of their completely forgotten title reign that would end at the hands of Miz and Morrison soon after this. Matt is the ECW Champion here, in the middle of a pretty good feud with Mark Henry.

As for the other guys, there’s really nothing here. The Draft would change a lot around in 5-6 months, but until then there was just not a lot going on in the midcard. This match really was just kind of thrown together and there wasn’t a lot there for it. Rhodes has Manu with him here. The two of them and DiBiase had been trying to get Orton to join them but that wouldn’t happen for about two more months, forming Legacy.

Oh and Regal is IC Champion here, but he would lose it to Punk very soon. Speaking of Punk, he hits the GTS on Regal inside of 15 seconds to take him out. I’m assuming an injury or something like that there, but whatever. Kofi and Shelton get in there and just tear the place up for a few seconds. Truth really does have a cool look to him. Striker says that he’s making a killing here, which is amusing. The crowd is more or less dead here.

The announcers make sure to let us know that Orton vs. Batista is about Evolution. How can the feuds that came from a stable last longer than the stable itself did? I’ve never gotten that. Oh I think Shelton and R-Truth are having a mini feud here but no one really cared about it.

Like I said the feuds here were more or less thrown together and meant nothing at all. Oh I do remember R-Truth and Shelton. I watched them at a house show for the US Title. It more or less sucked. Shelton is US Champion here in case I forgot to mention that.

Truth is just sloppy. He walks into Paydirt though and it’s tied at 4. Kofi comes in off the top and Striker says the Jamaican is getting high. That’s just amusing. MVP would soon turn face and take the belt from Shelton, although not until just before Mania. Orton comes in and the match just slows down so much it’s insane. The second rope DDT takes out Kofi.

I would have thought the hair would absorb a lot of the impact there. Punk and Orton never got the match or angle that they should have after Orton cost him the world title at Unforgiven. That’s a shame as they would have had a great feud I think, or at least a great match or two. Naturally Punk was given a big thing of nothing like the tag titles. Granted he won the IC Title very soon, breathing some life back into it.

He would also get the MITB and world title again, so maybe I have no idea what I’m talking about. In what can only be called a shocker, Rhodes hits a DDT on Punk for the clean pin which has to be the biggest win of his career. I get the potential in him, but eventually he has to actually do something with it, and the same is true of DiBiase. We’re on to Henry vs. Hardy with the former slamming the heck out of Hardy to take him out.

Less than ten seconds later Henry is speared out by Batista. It’s 3-1 now in case you were wondering. We have Batista against Shelton, Rhodes and Orton. The Batista Bomb on Shelton makes is what would become Legacy vs. Batista. Dave runs through Rhodes but a quick tag from Orton saves him.

Despite Orton gyrating and jumping up and down waiting on Batista to turn around, the Animal doesn’t hear him. The RKO ends this, setting up the complete throw away match between Batista and Orton at Armageddon. Remember that match? I didn’t think so.

Rating: C-. I didn’t really like it. I liked Orton winning the way he did, but the whole thing went too fast. It wasn’t bad for sure, but it certainly wasn’t anything great. The complete lack of feuds hurt things a lot here too. Having so many people that had nothing to do with the main feud or anything like it hurt things. It was ok, but not great.

Kozlov says something that was supposed to be English I think. Never mind it’s Russian.

We recap the three way feud, despite Hardy not being here tonight. I would recap it, but it means nothing since Jeff isn’t wrestling and he’s the focus of the package.

WWE Title: Vladamir Kozlov vs. HHH

We get a bell for the introductions and a bell for the actual match, so technically the match was paused for the majority of the action. That joke has long since passed being funny. Naturally the USA chants start up. Within seconds the fans are chanting boring. More on that later. They’re doing a very mat based technical style here with some submission stuff. The we want Hardy chant is going strong for about 12 seconds.

A TNA chant starts up as they speed up the pace a bit. It’s not bad, but it’s a different style that I don’t think a lot of the people are into at all. It’s really not that bad. HHH is fighting a guy that’s never lost so he’s afraid to use his best stuff. He’s feeling out Kozlov at first to avoid making mistakes. What’s so weird about that? It’s a thinking man style from the Cerebral Assassin.

Why is that bad? I really don’t like the way Scott Armstrong counts. He’s the blonde referee that has that hitch in his count. It’s so annoying. This goes on for awhile, and while it’s kind of boring, it’s certainly not bad. From out of nowhere, HHH gets a Pedigree. He gets ready to cover him, but Vickie appears on the stage, saying that it will be a triple threat and that he’s here!

Naturally it’s not Jeff but rather the returning Edge. He hits a spear on HHH but Jeff runs out and beats up Edge. Ok wait, hang on a second. Jeff was ok to do the run in (this if from kayfabe mind you) but couldn’t wrestle? I thought he was supposed to be extreme or whatever. That makes little sense. Anyway, Jeff hits HHH and Kozlov with a chair but gets speared. Edge covers HHH and wins the freaking title again.

Rating: D+. This is going to be a long rating. Ok, so the match was pretty boring. Was it bad though? Not really. There was indeed a story there though as I outlined earlier on. Kozlov is supposed to be this master fighter and grappler, so what did he do you ask? He used a bunch of grapples and submission holds to wear down HHH. In other words, he did what his gimmick called for him to do.

HHH was wrestling smart, so he did what his gimmick called for him to do. The Edge twist felt cheap, but it’s nothing that he hasn’t done a dozen times or so already. However, Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter called this the worst match of the year. That my friends, is nonsense. The Divas match earlier was light years worse than this.

I would say that’s Meltzer simply continuing his quest to make WWE and Vince seem like the scum of the earth because for some reason he hates them both. He also called the Hardy angle the most tasteless of the year. This is one that I just do not get. Ok, let’s see. The reason the angle was considered in poor taste was Jeff’s past drug issues.

Tell me two things: when was it ever mentioned on WWE television that Jeff had drug issues, and when was it ever mentioned that this incident was drug related? Dang on the freaking broadcast they said he was hit on the head and attacked. It was an angle, nothing more. The drug thing was never mentioned once other than by people on the internet, but of course this is just so tasteless.

We’ll have Vickie Guerrero live off of Eddie’s name and make out with every guy under the freaking sun, but an angle that for all of 16 hours came close to hinting that Jeff might have had a relapse without ever saying it and clearing it up later that night was tasteless? Give me a break. It can be implied that Vince has slept with everything on the face of the earth and has a bastard midget son, but that’s not tasteless.

Women are flat out sex objects and nothing more, but that’s not tasteless. So it’s ok to do all that stuff, but having Jeff Hardy be found unconscious without ever saying what might have happened until on the show where they say he was attacked by a person and not an illegal substance is reprehensible? That’s the most hypocritical thing I’ve ever heard. If Jeff had another relapse, they wouldn’t have mentioned him being found out cold. Vince isn’t that stupid.

This reeked of angle the minute it broke at like 2:30 am the night before a PPV, but of course, it was tasteless right? Give me a freaking break. This is what gives the IWC a bad name: people making a huge deal about absolutely nothing at all when it was so clearly an angle. I said that the night it happened. I said it because it was obvious, but apparently Dave “he is risen again” Meltzer thinks otherwise, so it must be true right?

It doesn’t matter though as he’s barely a wrestling reporter anymore. Sorry I really can’t stand that guy. He does what all of us do and makes a fortune off of it. I’m sure someone will yell at me and tell me how brilliant he is, but no, not really. He’s good, but overrated. Ok, rant over for now at least.

Oh and it was revealed that Matt, Jeff’s brother, was behind everything. Jeff would win the title the next month in a freaking shocker anyway.

We jump from that to a recap of Jericho and Cena, which wasn’t really a feud but WWE kept trying to convince us of that anyway. Jericho had stolen the title at Unforgiven but as soon as Cena was announced as returning, the inevitable was clear. Oh and Batista got the world title for a week for no apparent reason in between. That’s about it.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

The ending here is about as obvious as you could imagine. Cena’s pop is massive here. They try to make it sound like Cena has been out for a year when it’s been about three months or less. Jericho works on the neck, which here at least makes sense. I get it three months after an injury, but when they reference it a year and a half later, it loses its effect quite a bit. This is really formula based stuff but it’s working ok.

Cena has an early flurry and then Jericho takes over for the majority of the match, working the neck as much as he can. There’s nothing wrong with that as it’s the same thing that worked for Hogan for years if not decades. Jericho’s three finishers all hit and of course none of them work. This is the longest match of the night but it’s likely going to have the least amount said about it. There’s little drama here and after that initial pop, the crowd has been ok at best.

This crowd has completely sucked all night long. Naturally, Cena survives everything and hits the massive FU to get the title back despite Jericho hitting everything he could on him. That closes the show, which is exactly what it should have been.

Rating: B. This was good enough. There was zero drama, but they didn’t bury Jericho. Cena certainly should have won as Jericho was just keeping the title warm for him for awhile anyway. There’s nothing wrong with that. Jericho was a horrible champion anyway and always has been, so this wasn’t a big deal at all. Cena was clearly going to win, and sometimes that’s how shows should end.

Overall Rating: C-. This had its moments, but overall it’s just not that great. With six matches you run the risk of messing up on one or two of them and screwing the whole show up which I think is what this show did. Having Hardy be pulled probably wasn’t the smartest thing in the world as I guess they didn’t want to take the spotlight away from Cena. I get that, but it’s still a good bit of a bait and switch which is the most annoying thing that a promoter can do.

It’s not as bad as Randy vs. Jake in 91, but it’s far from good. Anyway, this wasn’t a great show at all and it pales in comparison to 07. Still, it’s not awful, but it’s certainly not worth going out of your way to see. Not really recommended.

So that’s the Survivor Series. It’s certainly changed a lot over the years. It started out as the other PPV and slowly evolved into the Hulk Hogan Happy Hour as I don’t remember him losing at all until 91. The whole Survivor Series match thing has become an afterthought, which makes me sad as it certainly had the potential to be something big. It would have worked a lot better had they kept the initial formula of letting the heel get the win to tie up the series.

To be fair to Vince though, the ratings for the all SS matches shows were some of the worst of all time so he made the change that had to happen. I am glad though that they’ve at least kept the original matches around, but man they could do so much more with them. There have been some classics and there have been some awful shows, but that’s the case with all PPVs that have gone on for a long time.

It’s probably not my favorite of the Big Four, but it’s certainly a fun show, or at least it can be. Come to think of it, like I said in a thread I made, I don’t know if you can call this one of the Big Four anymore as it’s really more of the Big Three. Either way, this was fun to do, but just like at Summerslam I got annoyed with it near the end.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2007 (2012 Redo): It’s A Little Different

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2007
Date: November 18, 2007
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz, Joey Styles

The opening video talks about how this started twenty years ago, as you would expect it to. It also talks about the main event matches tonight, as you would expect it to as well.

ECW Title: CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz

Miz and Morrison double team Punk but Miz is the first of the heels to go extra heel, dumping Morrison out to the floor. He hooks a chinlock on Punk but has to let go to knock Morrison back to the outside. Punk kicks Miz in the head but Morrison comes back in with a backbreaker to CM followed by a cobra clutch (called a Japanese sleeper by Joey Styles).

Miz pulls Punk to the floor and rams him into the concrete to get us down to the challengers fighting. Morrison sends him into the corner chest first and hits the yet to be named Starship Pain for two. Punk comes back in and hurricanranas Morrison off the top into a powerbomb from Miz in a SWEET looking move. That only gets two but it got a BIG reaction from the crowd.

With Morrison pretty much dead, Punk kicks Miz in the face for two and hits the knee/bulldog combo for the same. Punk hits a backbreaker on Miz but Morrison grabs a rollup and trunks on the champ for two. Morrison escapes the GTS but gets knocked to the floor, allowing Punk to hit the GTS on Miz for the pin to retain.

We recap MVP turning on Matt Hardy and taking out his knee. They had been partners for a long while before this but everyone thought MVP was evil the whole time, and this was the not very shocking turn.

Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla

Thankfully Beth comes in to flatten Maria before handing it right back to Layla. Actually make that Melina, who misses a charge at Maria and crotches herself, allowing for the hot tag to Mickie. James beats up everyone in sight, has her partners take out Beth, and hits the Long Kiss Goodnight (spinning kick to the face after a kiss) on Melina for the pin.

Shawn is here for revenge tonight because Orton has tried to hurt him and take his livelihood. Therefore tonight, Shawn is going to take the title.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Team HHH vs. Team Umaga

HHH, Kane, Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio

Umaga, Mr. Kennedy, MVP, Finlay, Big Daddy V

V almost immediately belly to belly suplexes Kane down for two but Kane comes back with some clotheslines in the corner. A top rope clothesline puts V down again but Kane has to chokeslam Finlay. V hits a Samoan Drop and a big elbow on Kane for the upset elimination. HHH comes in and hits the facebuster on the monster but gets caught by a clothesline to shift the momentum right back.

Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali

Alfonso Soriano, a baseball player, is here.

We recap Shawn vs. Orton. Shawn had the title won in a previous match but Orton intentionally got himself disqualified and then punted Shawn to the shelf for a few months. Shawn admitted he wanted revenge but Vince banned the superkick for no apparent reason other than being evil.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton

Shawn fights back but walks into a dropkick for two. He catches another dropkick in mid air and slams Randy down a few times before hitting the top rope elbow for two. By instinct, Shawn tunes up the band but he fakes Orton out by making him duck and grabs a rollup for two. Brilliant psychology there.

Cole is talking about the main event and SAVE US. For those of you unfamiliar, this was a series of videos that popped up at random on shows with what looked like the Matrix announcing that someone was coming to SAVE US. It would be revealed the next night that it was the return of Chris Jericho.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. Undertaker. Batista lost the belt to Undertaker at Wrestlemania and they feuded for the title on a few PPVs. After a cage match on Smackdown, Edge cashed in the MITB contract and won the title from Undertaker. Later, Edge was hurt and had to vacate the belt, which was won by Khali. Batista eventually beat Khali for the belt and Undertaker came back to challenge him for it.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

After the Cell is raised, Edge beats on Undertaker some more to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz

Original: B-

Redo: C

Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla

Original: D

Redo: D

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Original: D

Redo: C-

Team HHH vs. Team Umaga

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Great Khali vs. Hornswoggle

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: D+

Redo: B

Batista vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

The main thing I’ve learned about myself from these redos is that I was a lot looser with my grades back then. The redo grades here are a lot more toned down and it’s a bit harder to please me now.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/16/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2007-batista-vs-undertaker-in-the-cell/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2007 (Original): Monsters In The Cell

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2007
Date: November 18, 2007
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Tazz, JBL, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Joey Styles

With another year comes not a lot of change. Orton is world champion here having taken out HHH for the belt at No Mercy in their first last man standing match. Tonight he takes on HBK in another of his random filler feuds before Cena gets back from injury. The Game is the other major player on Raw (shocking isn’t it?) as he’s feuding with Umaga for your Survivor Series match of the night.

Over on Smackdown, we only have one big match, but it’s a major one as Taker is challenging Batista for the world title in a Hell in a Cell match. If nothing else they’re keeping it big. Oh and one other thing: Hornswoggle is Vince’s son now.

Yes, that painfully stupid and bad storyline has finally begun as he’s already dropped the Cruiserweight Title because Vince doesn’t like small wrestlers. Finally, we have my boy Punk defending his ECW Title against the newly crowned tag team champions of Miz and Morrison. That should be good. Let’s get it started.

Hey, take a wild guess as to what the opening video is about. If you guessed Survival, you’re of about average intelligence as the show is called Survivor Series. If you guessed that it sucked, then you’ve been paying attention to my reviews. Yep, this is nothing of note. We’re starting with the ECW Title match, so the first two voices that we hear are Joey and Tazz. Surprisingly we don’t hear their colleagues yet, which is odd indeed.

ECW Title: CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz

Punk took the belt off of Morrison and Miz said he wanted it. That’s about all I’ve got for you here as far as a backstory since ECW back then was even less developed than it is now if you can believe that. Oh yeah. And they were thrown together on Smackdown (literally) and given a tag title shot because two guys that are thrown together that hate each other are light years ahead of all the other great tag teams on Smackdown right?

See what kind of shape the division was in around this time? Somehow this wasn’t even the worst it would be. However, these two would be pretty much the best team in a good long while and will likely be that for a good long while. Also, around this time there was a big thing about how Miz couldn’t wrestle. A buddy of mine and I said just give him time. I’m writing this in mid-October, two days after being completely blown away by a segment these two did at a Smackdown taping I was at.

Now as of this writing, it hasn’t made air in America yet. I’ll be most interested in seeing how many people are saying how awesome he is after that. Styles goes through all of the combinations that could result in Punk losing his title which is somewhere between interesting and filler. You might think that this is a handicap match, but it really isn’t. These two don’t get along yet and while they’ll double team for awhile, it’s usually very short indeed.

I’ve always loved that suicide dive that Punk does. He does the WHAT’S MY NAME thing that worked so well in ROH but never caught on in WWE. To be fair though, the crowd starts a big CM Punk chant. My goodness this guy was over. After beating on Punk as a team for awhile, Miz and Morrison break up again, maybe over one of them not doing the dishes or something. Good night Morrison does some amazing stuff out there.

He still does the same kind of stuff today but dang this was impressive stuff back then too. We get a glimpse of Miz vs. Morrison her but it’s nothing really that special. Punk hits a backbreaker that used to be called Welcome to Chicago M’Fer which has been changed for obvious reasons. Following some miscommunication from the new tag team, Punk hits the GTS on Miz for the pin.

Rating: B-. It got the crowd going a bit, but at the same time there was never any real drama in this at all. That’s fine though, as I don’t think there was really supposed to be. Sometimes you need to just have a match to get some ring time for the champion and have a decent match out of it. It makes the champion look stronger and saves the showdown for later on. This was just fine.

We get a recap of MVP hurting Matt’s leg and putting him out of the Survivor Series match later tonight. MVP had a big C on his outfit back then. He was CMVP. Oh that’s just awesome. Anyway, now we go to the back where some interviewer that I don’t recognize is talking to him. He’s REALLY bad on promos at this point.

Face Divas vs. Heel Divas

Faces: Mickie, Maria, Torrie, Michelle, Kelly
Heels: Beth, Jillian, Melina, Layla, Victoria

This is your token Diva match of the night. Torrie has what is now Tiffany’s music. Basically, around this time the only face Diva that can wrestle at all is Mickie. There’s no story here at all as this could just as easily have been on Raw. Thankfully this isn’t elimination style. We start with the almost too hot Victoria against Michelle. Ok, the Divas yelling at each other is REALLY annoying. Kelly is in essence in a swimsuit with sleeves.

To show the brilliance on display here, Torrie has Victoria down and leaves her there to run across the ring and get a tag. That’s tag wrestling 101 there and she can’t get that right. Even trying to pull Victoria back to Torrie’s corner would have worked. Whatever let’s just get this over with. Jillian is in now and for some reason rubs Kelly’s face in her chest. Wow. Anyway, we get the obligatory handspring elbow, which is the most impressive athletic maneuver there is.

It’s so impressive that nearly every Diva does it. Dang will you STOP WITH THE FREAKING SCREAMS? CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW FREAKING ANNOYING IT WOULD BE TO HAVE SOMEONE THAT SCREAMED EVERY TIME THEY OPENED THEIR FREAKING MOUTH? IT WOULD BE SO FREAKING….never mind. JR actually makes a bit of a comparison of Kelly and the Great Muta. I’m at a lost for keystrokes. All of the heels are wearing some form of red. Is that some messed up team unity thing?

Mickie comes in and attempts to save this match. Mickie hits the sexiest move in wrestling history, The Long Kiss Goodnight, to get the win. It was a move where she grabbed the other girl’s hair and actually bent her back and kissed her before kicking her in the face. Why do I have a feeling that’s Norcal’s dream date? Oh and Michelle fell out during the match. Nothing special.

Rating: D. That’s half of what this match was all about. The other letter is also D. Yep, this was all about looks here. If you don’t believe me, look at Kelly and Maria’s outfits. They’re just there for looks and nothing more. This was just bad and showed how awful the majority of the women were at the time. At least it was short and the girls looked good.

Orton says he’ll win.

Shawn says he’ll win. Well I’m glad they’re in agreement that he’ll win. Shawn looks stoned here and actually swears. That’s surprising.

Raw Tag Titles: Cade and Murdoch vs. Holly and Rhodes

Please…make it short. This was the token title feud of the month as the faces were thrown together over respect or something and instantly were number one contenders. The problem with the tag title picture was simple: Miz and Morrison were thrown together and won the tag belts. Holly and Rhodes were thrown together and won the tag belts. Do I need to explain why this was such a complete and utter failure for so long?

The reunification has helped a good bit lately, but they’re still in desperate need of help. With a roster as big as they have, it really wouldn’t be hard to get a few teams together and put some stories out there. Think of all the guys on the roster that never do anything but could have decent matches. The stuff is there, trust me.

Could Cade be any more generic? Hey! Buy Armageddon so we can validate our completely stupid PPV schedule. Holly and Rhodes won a triple threat vs. Londrick and the Highlanders to get here on Heat of all places. DAng it’s weird to see Rhodes as such a rookie like this. Rhodes and Cade start us off. Rhodes has bulked up a bit since this.

Rhodes literally slaps Murdoch on the back. That sounded sick too. Holly in now who takes down Murdoch. Holly does his low kick that isn’t really low but really looks like it is while the other guy is on the ropes. The champions are in trouble here. Double teaming gets the advantage back to the rednecks.

Cade takes Holly down to prevent he tag as this is just DRAGGING. There’s no reason for this to be on PPV but it is anyway because that’s how tag wrestling in this company works. There’s your heel miscommunication so that Rhodes can come in. And then that doesn’t work as he hits a missile dropkick for two and walks into Melina’s finisher (the sunset bomb thing) from Murdoch to retain.

Rating: D. This was just bad. Just like the match before it, there was no need to have it on PPV. Neither team stands out at all and there’s just nothing special about it. It’s not any good at all so there’s no way to say it’s anything but bad by default. Horrible match and everything that’s wrong with tag wrestling in this era. Holly and Rhodes would get the titles a few weeks later.

Team HHH says that they’re going to do some terrible things to the other team. In a very funny bit, Kane and Jeff mention all the things that HHH has done to them over the years. That’s just amusing. Jeff is taller than I thought he was.

After a too short to tell what’s going on recap of the Survivor Series match, we’re ready to go.

Team HHH vs. Team Umaga

HHH, Kane, Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio
Umaga, Big Daddy V, Kennedy, Finlay, MVP

Matt is injured remember, so it’s starting as a handicap match.

I love the way Justin Roberts talks. In what cracked me up, Kennedy comes out to do his standard intro and the mic doesn’t work. About halfway through it kicks on mid word. That’s just hilarious. Big Daddy V is in desperate need of a shirt. MVP needs to bring back the counting part of his music. It’s so much better that way. Let’s see: the most successful heel here is….MVP I guess? Maybe Umaga?

On the other side, we have four former/future world champions. Oh yeah this is going to be a great contest here. Kane’s pyro is some of the loudest stuff you will ever hear in your life. It’s insanely loud. Rey’s song really is catchy when it’s all you’re hearing in the arena. Jeff has his old music here. The start of his singles run would be in less than two months as he would fight Orton for the title at the Rumble. He’s IC Champion here.

Oh yeah the feuds. HHH vs. Umaga, Kane vs. BDV, Jeff vs. no one in particular, Rey vs. Finlay, Matt vs. MVP so I guess Jeff gets Kennedy and MVP by default. We’re now at ten minutes of entrances. We start off with Kennedy and Rey, so an overrated guy that’s good but nowhere near as good as he is made out to be vs. Kennedy. This is pretty decent stuff here as Kennedy for once gets to show what he can do, which isn’t bad.

He’s not the next Austin but he’s not bad at all. Rey does in essence the same move that Murdoch won with earlier, using that pesky thing known as the right way. JR says that Hardy has D. Wade like hang time. That just doesn’t sound right at all. BDV comes in to beat on Hardy for awhile since we need jobbers out there for awhile.

We move on to Kane vs. BDV which was a feud at the moment, so look for a big pinfall here. Kane hits the big clothesline from the top to put him down for a bit as this is really just no sell theater.

Following a little interference from Finlay the Samoan Drop ends the Big Red Machine to make it 5-3. Again, Kane jobs. Some things never change. The facebuster from HHH simply couldn’t miss more than it does here. We get HHH vs. Umaga here, which I guess was supposed to be a big deal? It’s just coming off as weak to me, but whatever.

After HHH (which I accidentally spelled as HGH for a bit there in a funny moment) gets beaten down, Rey comes in and after making Umaga look ridiculously bad, goes out to the Spike, leaving us with 5-2. I can smell the comeback coming from a mile away. We start this part with Jeff vs. Kennedy, which would have been an interesting feud had various things not happened. After a missed Drive By, Jeff gets a quick Twist of Fate to make it 4-2.

Kennedy is taken out after something that looks like it came out of a Three Stooges short with all of the blunders by the heels. HHH gets the pin. We move on to Viscera vs. HHH since I guess the fat man had to get something done that night. A double DDT takes him out to get us to 2-2 and you can see the ending coming from here. In probably the biggest thing of his career, Finlay beats on HHH for awhile before the tag to Hardy brings the crowd back a bit.

Once the terrible twosome were all that was left, this match started going downhill fast. This needs to end, like now. After a lot of token offense from Finlay, HHH comes in and takes care of Finlay. Cole tries to build Finlay as an equal to HHH. That’s just amusing. About 44 seconds later, the Pedigree leads to the Swanton which leads to the end of this way too long match. The face team of the gods celebrate for awhile before we’re done.

Rating: C-. This is a tale of two grades here. Before we got down to the final two faces, this was pretty good. After that, the whole thing just fell apart because there was zero chance that the faces weren’t both going to survive. Kane and Rey were just filler out there and everyone knew it. The first part is good, the second part is just bland. It got Jeff over though, which was the main goal of the whole thing.

Vince tells Horny not to die. That’s just funny.

Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali

You know the story so let’s get this over with. Vince and Shane are with Horny here. When I grow up, I want to be one of Runjin Singh’s sideburns. They do the rule thing just to add more hijinks to this. The fans chant We Want Shaq. Ok then. Oh yeah this is Miami when Shaq was on the Heat. That makes sense now. Oh and Shaq is in the front row. See what happens when I pay attention? Vince grabs a mic and says he doesn’t care what the fans want.

At least he’s honest. Horny runs once Khali screams at him. For some reason he spits mist at Singh who doesn’t do anything but stand there with a what the heck look on his face. Well thanks for that buddy. The club that Horny grabs is knocked away and then Khali smacks him. This needs to end like now.

The joke is over and has been for a long time. Just as I say that, Finlay runs out and hits Khali with the club to make the save for the DQ. The fact that Finlay would be revealed as the real father was about as obvious as possible at this point.

Rating: N/A. It was a joke, not a match.

We hit the recap button on HBK vs. Orton. This is pretty simple. Orton was on a punting spree and one of his first targets was Michaels. The night after Orton beat HHH at No Mercy there was this big ceremony for him which ended in Shawn returning in what was a cool moment. They had a match at Cyber Sunday where Orton got himself disqualified. That led to this, where Shawn can’t use the superkick and Orton can lose the belt via DQ. That’s about it.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Lillian looks great with her hair pulled back. Ross takes a small shot at FOX News, so at least some things never change. Orton hasn’t started hearing voices yet. Oh and the belt still spins. This is Shawn’s second PPV in 5 months. Shocking isn’t it that he more or less took the summer off after Mania. He would never do anything like that again would he? Dang that spinning belt looks like crap. It’s scary that today the belt looks about 100x better.

We get the old school ceremony of the referee checking the boots and pads etc. I love the little things like that because they can enhance a match so much. Shawn starts off with a lockup known as a Crevate. Now most of you have likely never heard of that. It’s a European style headlock but not quite. More or less you look like you’re setting for a snapmare but you grip like it’s a headlock. It’s really a cool idea and there’s a lot of stuff you can go with from that position.

Chris Hero is well known for using a ton of varieties of things like it. They go to a LONG headlock/front chancery sequence that has the crowd on the edge of unconsciousness. Finally we hit the floor for a bit where Shawn hits a picture perfect Asai Moonsault to knock Orton down. The commentators try to argue that Shawn is using a different style here because he’s not allowed to use the kick. That makes ZERO sense.

Think about it. Shawn’s finishing move is a kick to the head. What kind of setup does that require? All it takes is one second and some accuracy and he’ll knock you out. It’s not a wear down move like a figure four where going for it immediately makes no sense. It’s a move that can be hit from nowhere. Think of the Iron Man match.

He hit back to back kicks from nowhere to win his first world title. Here’s your “it’s Survivor Series so Shawn has to reference Montreal with a Sharpshooter” Sharpshooter. This has been all Shawn so far. Say it with me: as I type that Orton takes over.

Orton is very boring. That’s all there is to it. However, since he looks like a statue and can cut decent promos, Vince decides to keep putting him in big matches with this ridiculous Viper gimmick which more or less consists of him sliding around the ring before the RKO. It’s an excuse for not having to come up with something creative. Orton vs. Cena and HHH is about as boring of a pair of feuds as you’re ever going to find.

JR then has the nerve to say that this is a pure wrestling match. No Jim, it’s really not. This is a match that has an extra gimmick added to it because no one in their right mind believed that HBK would lose to Orton without it. Orton is just flat out awful in this gimmick of his and something needs to be changed, fast. Naturally, that means that Orton will be the same guy going into Mania 30. Oh look it’s a chinlock. What is the appeal of this?

To be fair, Orton is a bit better now, but around this time he was just flat out boring. Now he’s just mostly boring. Ok, for the love of goodness, WE GET THAT ORTON’S DAD IS IN THE HALL OF FAME! He was a horrible character and did nothing of note, ever. He’s another great example of the Hall of Fame being a complete joke. Anyway, Shawn initiates the ending sequence but gets dropkicked with one of three moves Orton can actually do really well.

In what’s a pretty cool move, Shawn sets for the superkick and fakes Orton out to get him to drop down so Shawn can hook a small package. That was really smart and makes perfect sense. In something that really surprises me, Shawn uses a crossface. This is a mere four months after Benoit and in the middle of the investigation into his death. I guess that this was before the whole thing came out. Michaels goes even crazier by putting on an ankle lock. Man he’s going nuts here.

He gets the heel hook but Orton gets out. DAng , Orton is better with submission than Lesnar is. Something occurs to me. If Orton gets disqualified, HBK gets the belt right? Why doesn’t Shawn get one of his buddies to come out and blast him with a chair or something? Man this face thing getting in the way of something that makes sense.

As he goes for a figure four, Shawn is kicked into the post. After a very brief counter, the RKO ends it. Afterwards Orton yells at Shawn and picks him up, naturally getting kicked in the head before Shawn leaves. Well that was a pretty basic ending.

Rating: D+. I get that some people would like this match, but I just could not get into it at all. There’s no drama, there’s one decent looking spot with the moonsault, there are tons of dead spots, and the whole thing just falls short. There just was no reason at all to watch this, plain and simple. They weren’t going to put the belt on Shawn so quick. Earlier tonight in the Punk match you had a good match that was a token defense.

This is the same, but this was far more boring. It’s a great example of a good match like this and a bad one. Jericho would come back in less than a month to save Raw and have more bland matches with Orton. Vince, get it through your head: two surefire hall of fame wrestlers in Jericho and Shawn can only pull ok matches out of Orton. That simply can’t be a coincidence.

Recap of Batista vs. Taker: they’ve fought a bunch of times and split most of them, but they just think the other is a swell guy. Yep, that’s about it.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Remember this is Hell in a Cell. Taker is the challenger here. JBL actually does some good analysis of what both guys need to do to win. He then ruins that by saying “oh that’s a clothesline!” Well thanks for that great brilliance there Johnny boy. Naturally Batista isn’t afraid of Taker. Less than three minutes in we have a chair brought in from under the ring. Or would it be out from under the ring? Whatever. Taker controls the majority of the opening part of the match.

Batista takes a chair shot to the throat and has some faint blood from his mouth. I know there’s not much being said here but the opening to this is solid which makes it difficult to make fun of. They’re trying to play up the experience/skill of Taker vs. pure power of Batista. That’s not a bad idea at all. As usual the rules of where you can pin someone here change per match, but I’d assume that it’s only in the ring. Cole implies it’s falls count anywhere.

They’re focusing a lot more on wrestling here than violence, which is fine. There’s certainly more than one way to have a good cell match and this is one of those options. Taker gets the Triangle Choke and Batista starts waving his arm and slapping the mat which looks a lot like tapping to me. He gets the ropes which apparently is a rope break. Even the announcers say that’s not correct. Batista is bleeding horribly.

After Batista gets some weapons shots in to take control, he gets caught in the Last Ride for two. This is a good match. The chokeslam gets two. He goes for the Tombstone but Batista does the leg wiggle of doom to get out and hit a spinebuster to take over again. A table is brought in as I begin to think: do those really help? I mean think about it. They kind of break your fall.

When you’re in a move like a powerbomb or something, the impact of the move is based on the amount of momentum built up when you’re coming down right? Well if there’s a table there blocking your way, doesn’t it stop a lot of the momentum? The impact of going through the table would hurt, but since you keep going anyway, it’s not going to hurt that much. Think of it like this: what hurts worse, taking a short ride and falling through a table, or taking a long ride and landing on something solid?

It doesn’t make a lot of sense to me, but I guess it can look good or something like that. Now we get to something else that’s kind of stupid. Batista sets up the table and hits a regular powerbomb through it (they call it the Batista Bomb but I can let that one go). If he had Taker that weakened, why not just hit the regular Batista Bomb and not give Taker the extra recovery time? Batista kicks out of the Tombstone, which makes him the second guy ever (Shawn at Mania 25) to kick out of all three finishers.

Shawn took it a step further though as he got out of Hell’s Gate as well. A Tombstone of the stairs should do it but the cameraman pulls the referee out and of course it’s Edge, returning from whatever injury he was out with. A camera shot to the head of Taker followed by a conchairto and Batista keeps the belt. Seriously, that’s the ending? Edge posing takes us out.

Rating: A-. This was a very good match until the ending. These guys have some solid chemistry together and showed it off tonight. Most Cell matches have zero story to them but this one did, which goes to show that you can have good wrestling and storytelling in a match like this and include weapons and blood.

That’s a big flaw in a lot of gimmick matches today: they forget they’re wrestling and just have high spots. Edge interfering really brings this down though as I wanted a clean win for someone. This was very good though and easily the best match at Survivor Series in a good while.

Overall Rating: B-. This is another example of a show where the grades don’t give an accurate representation of the whole show. I know I graded a lot of them low, but at the same time the whole show turned out to be pretty good I thought. The main event helped a lot as it was an excellent match. It goes to show you what a main event is capable of.

I know some people are going to think I’m an idiot for my Shawn vs. Orton grade, but the issue I have is simple: it was overbooked. Seriously, does a guy like Shawn need gimmicks in order to get over? You tell him how long he has and the finish and let him take care of the rest. The show certainly isn’t bad, but it’s hardly a classic. Batista and Taker is worth going out of your way to see, but while the rest is certainly good, it’s not must see. Recommended though.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6