Survivor Series 2009
Date: November 22, 2009
Location: Verizon Center, Washington, D.C.
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

We’re in the final three of shows that actually exist as I’m writing this now. Tonight is a show based around the match that I’m sure you all know I love: THE TRIPLE THREAT! I mean, it’s not like you EVER see a triple threat and that it’s the most overdone gimmick match of all time which might as well be considered a regular match like a singles or tag match anymore and that you can barely go two PPVs without seeing one and that it follows the same formula in every single one of them! In case you’re stupid, I hate triple threats and both world titles are being defended in triple threats against a tag team. Let’s get to it.

We get clips from every Survivor Series for the opening video. They’re obsessed with the history of this show. Apparently the Survivor Series stopped existing outside of Undertaker after 1990. Who knew? In other words the clips of the shows stopped at 1990 and it was a regular video from there.

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

The Miz, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger

John Morrison, Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay

Sweet goodness that’s a big disparity between the talents. We have one team where only one member is still in the company and he hasn’t been seen in ten months. Well Finlay is still in the company but he’s retired. On the other side you have four world champions and Drew McIntyre. Miz is US Champion here. McIntyre has only been around for about three months and Sheamus has only been on Raw less than a month. Morrison is IC Champion.

Bourne and Swagger get things going with Evan grabbing a quick rollup for two. Ziggler comes in for the Hennig Neck Snap and a modified belly to belly suplex for two. Back to Swagger who pounds on the back of Bourne and brings Dolph back in again, hooking a half crab on Evan. Bourne escapes and comes back with a rana out of the corner and a jumping knee to the face. There’s the hot tag to Matt (BIG pop) and a double elbow to the back of Ziggler’s head by Evan and Matt. The Side Effect sets up Air Bourne for the elimination of Ziggler, but McIntyre comes in immediately and Future Shocks Bourne to tie it back up.

Finlay charges in to fight McIntyre and hits that Regal Roll of his. Off to Sheamus and Striker goes oooo. They stare each other down but a Miz distraction allows Sheamus to Brogue Kick Finlay down for the pin. Matt comes in to pound on Sheamus but he walks into a powerslam for two for the pale one. Off to Miz who drops a leg and puts on a reverse chinlock. The Reality Check gets two and it’s off to a front facelock.

Hardy reverses but Swagger comes in and drops ax handles on his back to keep Matt in. Off to a chinlock but Matt counters into a sleeper, from which he drops Swagger onto the back of his head in a kind of neckbreaker. Hot tag brings in Morrison to speed thing up. Morrison gets sent into the post but avoids the Vader Bomb. After taking out Miz, the Flying Chuck (Disaster Kick) kills Jack for two as everything breaks down. The referee gets run over and once things calm down, Morrison hits a knee to Swagger’s chest and Starship Pain ties things up by eliminating Swagger.

Miz comes in and hits his running corner clothesline followed by a top rope double ax for two. Off to a quickly broken chinlock as it’s off to Shelton. That gold hair thing never did work for him at all. A Stinger Splash and a northern lights suplex gets two and Benjamin keeps knocking Miz away whenever Miz comes at him. A bridging German suplex gets two for Shelton as the original referee is being checked for a concussion. Sheamus breaks up a neckbreaker from Shelton and Miz hits the Finale to take out Benjamin.

Off to Matt vs. Drew as things slow down a bit. They send each other into opposite corners with Matt taking over via a neckbreaker and the yelling legdrop for two. Another neckbreaker puts McIntyre down but Matt goes up and misses a moonsault press. A second Future Shock (called a Kobashi DDT by Striker) gets a second elimination for Drew, leaving us with Morrison vs. Sheamus/Miz/McIntyre.

Morrison starts with McIntyre and pounds away in the corner as Striker quotes Jim Morrison lyrics. Drew sends him into the corner and it’s off to Sheamus for some double stomping. Off to Miz for some trash talk followed by a slugout. Morrison takes over but it’s quickly off to Sheamus to run John over. Morrison kicks all three heels down but the flying Chuck is caught by a Brogue Kick out of the air, followed by the High Cross for the final elimination.

Rating: C+. This was your typical Survivor Series match and hopefully it gives us the definitive ending to the feud between the captains. Morrison was the more athletically gifted guy, but Miz would go on to much better things. I’m not sure if it was more his talent or the complete lack of expectations for him, but Miz went miles ahead of Morrison soon after this. Sheamus would get the world title in less than a month.

Team Kofi talks strategy but Christian feels awkward among four people not like him. His partners are MVP, Kofi Kingston, R-Truth and Mark Henry. Christian says he’s the only one that’s….you know…..from ECW. The awkward responses ensue and Christian thinks they thought it was because he’s Canadian. Christian “raps” and mentions the race thing, drawing stares. Everyone eventually cracks up.

We recap Batista vs. Mysterio. They had been tag partners but Rey got pinned a few times. At Bragging Rights, Batista snapped and turned heel on Rey in one of the best heel turns in years. I love this turn because it’s so simple: Batista got tired of losing over and over and then, very calmly, he said he was going to rip Rey’s head off, and then he DID. Rey begged for mercy, but Batista kept beating on him and hurting him, turning him into a big, muscleheaded bully, which is one of the best kinds.

Rey Mysterio vs. Batista

That Booyaka song of Rey’s is growing on me. It’s fun to shout along with. Rey takes the leg out quickly and tries the 619 but Batista bails. Rey follows and is immediately slammed against the apron and Big Dave takes over. Mysterio tries to fire off some kicks but Batista clotheslines his head off to stop Rey cold. The Batista Bomb is escaped as is a powerslam and Rey goes after the knee.

Rey kicks Batista into 619 position but Batista grabs the legs out of the air but can’t hit the Bomb yet. Mysterio sends him to the floor for a seated senton but Batista shrugs it off. Back in and Rey hits a pair of 619’s to the back and the ribs and a third to the face. Another springboard seated senton puts Batista down and Rey goes up for the Eddie dance, only to dive onto knees. Batista kills Rey with a spear and there’s the spinebuster. The Batista Bomb kills Rey but Dave won’t cover. There’s another Bomb and a third so the referee stops the match.

Rating: C+. I liked this for the story it was telling and the match wasn’t all that important. This was cool to see as Batista let out some of his anger and didn’t have to get pinned by some stupid rollup or anything like that. Sometimes you need some violence and the destruction of someone instead of them being able to stand tall. Let the bad guy win once in awhile and let him look strong. Then when someone stands up to him and beats him, they’re a hero. For some reason, this never happens anymore.

Post match Batista brings in a chair and picks up a begging Rey. He hits a spinebuster onto the chair, but the key here is the look on his face. There is no emotion on it at all and it’s like he has to do this because it’s who he is. Awesome all around. Rey is taken out on a stretcher.

Orton doesn’t like his team. Punk doesn’t really want to hear it.

We recap Team Kofi vs. Team Orton. Orton was all evil and psycho so Kofi stood up to him. This resulted in what looked to be one of the best face pushes in a long time, as Kofi showed some AWESOME emotion and looking like a serious threat to take Orton down. He destroyed an Orton racecar and then got in a BIG brawl with Orton all over Madison Square Garden, culminating in hitting a Boom Drop through a table.

Unfortunately, the beginning of this saw Kofi miss his cue and make Orton look stupid, so guess what happened to Kofi’s push at the end of this program? Since, you know, months of awesome promos and buildup and crowd reactions should be thrown away for the sake of a three second error that no one remembers. The package easily edits it out here, but hey, EVERYONE remembers EVERYTHING that happens on Raw right? That’s why everything is recapped: so EVERYONE that remember EVERYTHING can remember it even better.

Team Randy Orton vs. Team Kofi Kingston

Kofi Kingston, MVP, Mark Henry, R-Truth, Christian

Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, CM Punk, William Regal

Christian is ECW Champion and I think that’s the only title in this. Orton starts thinking he gets to fight Kofi but Henry starts instead. Henry throws Randy into Orton’s corner where Henry beats up all four of them. There’s a bearhug as Striker says being a Rumble winner might help Orton with strategy here. Huh? What does a battle royal have to do with an elimination tag match? Anyway, Legacy (DiBiase and Rhodes) help their I think former boss out and it’s an RKO to eliminate Henry in less than a minute.

MVP comes in and Team Orton all bails to the floor. After the quick huddle outside, here’s Orton again to face MVP but Rhodes makes a blind tag to stomp away on him. It’s quickly off to DiBiase then Regal then Punk to stomp away until Punk hooks a chinlock. MVP fights up and hits a suplex that looked like it lacked contact before bringing Truth in. Truth does his backflip into the splits but Rhodes’ distraction lets Punk hit the GTS to eliminate the rapper.

Christian comes in next to face Punk and they trade basic stuff to start. Punk gets in a knee to the ribs and it’s off to DiBiase for a middle rope elbow which gets two. Christian tries the Killswitch but walks into a powerslam instead. Dream Street and the Killswitch are both countered so Christian kicks DiBiase in the ribs and hits the spinning sunset flip out of the corner to make it 4-3.

Regal comes in immediately and gets all fired up but gets dropkicked down. There’s the tag to Kofi and things speed way up. Kofi fires off punches in the corner and but Regal fires off some punches to slow Kofi down. Off to Rhodes for more punches and kicks before Regal comes in again. MVP gets the tag and hits the Drive By (running boot to the head) to take Regal out and tie us up at three each (Kofi/MVP/Christian vs. Orton/Rhodes/Punk).

Cody comes in with a top rope cross body but MVP rolls through it for two. Rhodes gets caught in the good guy corner and it’s Canadian time as Christian pounds him into another corner. Tornado DDT is broken up and Christian is in trouble already. Cody wraps his legs around Christian as things slow down again. Off to Randy again who hits a gorgeous dropkick for two. Off to Rhodes who misses a knee drop so it’s back to MVP. It’s more basic punches and the Ballin Elbow for no cover. MVP has to knock Orton down and gets caught in Cross Rhodes to make it 3-2.

Kofi comes in and rolls up Cody for a VERY hot two count before it’s back to Christian. The Canadian works on the arm before it’s back to Kofi with a springboardy shot to the arm as well. Christian and Kofi take turns on Cody until the Killswitch takes him out. This was simple yet effective. It’s down to Punk/Orton vs. Christian/Kofi which is a spiffy little tag match.

Orton comes in to face Christian and a right hand takes Captain Charisma down. Christian has to take Punk down off the apron but still manages to avoid the RKO and hit the Killswitch for two as Punk saves. Punk distracts Christian and it’s an RKO to make it 2-1. Kofi wants Orton but Randy tags out when he sees Kingston there. Punk and Kofi stare at each other a bit before slugging it out with Kofi taking over with some HARD forearms.

The GTS and Trouble in Paradise both miss and we’ve got a stalemate. Kofi hits a big dropkick and the SOS for two. Orton is walking around on the floor as Punk takes over. Off to a leg choke which shifts to a body vice with the legs as some time is killed. Kofi fights up but a splash hits Punk’s knees.

A falcon’s arrow gets two for CM but the bulldog out of the corner is countered with a belly to back suplex. Kofi goes up and after blocking a superplex twice, a top rope cross body gets a close two. An Orton distraction prevents the Boom Drop but Kofi reverses a rollup into the pin on Punk and immediately kicks Orton’s head off for the final pin and a BIG pop.

Rating: B. This took a bit more time than it needed but the ending was perfect. It made Kofi look like a STAR….and then he lost the next month to Orton and was back in the midcard immediately after, but this was AWESOME. The other eliminations didn’t mean much and this would have been better as a 4-4 match with about three less minutes, but great ending and I was totally into the Kofi push at this point.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Hey look: the world champion is defending against a big time tag team. Jericho won at Bragging Rights and Big Show turned on Raw at the same show to get this spot. Taker is defending and he’s the only person I’ll call champion in this match even though JeriShow have the tag titles here. The challengers pound Taker into the corner with Show headbutting the champion a bit for good measure.

Taker comes back with a clothesline to send Show to the floor and goes after him instead of fighting Jericho in the ring. Odd decision but Taker is an odd guy most of the time. Taker fires away punches on the floor but Jericho pops up from out of nowhere and takes out the champ’s legs. Taker is stuck in the timekeeper’s area so the challengers lift him out of it to throw him back inside to hammer away.

Jericho misses a charge and Taker pounds away on Show before clotheslining him down. Show heads to the floor and Jericho gets beaten up for awhile but the big bald guy pulls the champ to the floor. Taker is all cool with that though and posts Show before getting crotched when attempting Old School on Jericho. Chris superplexes him down but Taker gets the knees up to block the Lionsault. Jericho counters the counter and puts on the Walls, but Show breaks it up with a chokeslam.

A chokeslam to Taker is countered into a DDT and all three guys are down. Jericho tries to cover both guys but can only get two before being launched to the floor by Big Show. Taker wins a slugout with Big Show and they both grab chokeslam grips, but it’s Jericho with a belt shot that takes Show down, possibly by mistake. Taker loads up the Last Ride on Jericho but a belt shot to the head knocks out the champion but only for two seconds. Jericho mocks the Undertaker for some reason and tries a Tombstone. Unless your name is Kane, WHY WOULD YOU TRY THAT ON UNDERTAKER???

Taker counters it but Show knocks him out. Jericho saves the pin and tries a Codebreaker on Big Show, who is like boy please. A knock out punch puts Jericho down as Taker is getting back to his feet. Show calls for the chokeslam but Show pulls him down into the Hell’s Gate for the submission to retain.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches that went fine but you could have called most of the match the entire way through. Was there any doubt that Taker was going to keep the belt here and that the partners would turn on each other? That’s the problem with these kind of matches: they never take risks on the endings so it’s the same stuff over and over again.

The survivors of Team Miz (Miz, McIntyre and Sheamus) brag a bit. They all claim to be the future.

Team Mickie James vs. Team Michelle McCool

Michelle McCool, Layla, Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, Alicia Fox

Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Melina, Gail Kim, Eve Torres

Michelle is Women’s Champion and Melina is Divas Champion. I’m not sure if this is before of after Laycool was making fun of Mickie for being “fat”. Kelly and Layla get things going and it’s not pretty from the start. They are but the wrestling isn’t quite so smooth. Layla hits some dropkicks to the back but Kelly comes back with a legdrop to the back of the head (not the K2 but a regular legdrop) to get the quick elimination.

Off to Gail vs. Michelle and it’s a quick Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) to eliminate Kim. Seriously it’s that fast. Off to Eve vs. Jillian with the singer taking over with a cartwheel splash. After some uninspired stuff, Eve pins Jillian with a top rope sunset flip and is immediately pinned herself after the Glam Slam. A second Glam Slam pins Kelly and it’s down to Mickie/Melina vs. Beth/Michelle/Alicia. Mickie comes in to fight Beth and after some forearms, a crucifix gets rid of Phoenix.

Alicia comes in next and things slow WAY down as Beth was the only girl in there that was going to be able to beat Mickie. A northern lights suplex with a GREAT bridge from Alicia gets two but Mickie backflips up from the mat into a front chancery. It’s quickly broken up but it looked awesome. Mickie comes off the middle rope with a Thesz Press for the pin to make it 2-1.

Michelle comes in and stomps on Mickie before hooking a chinlock. Mickie comes back with a forearm to the face and both chicks are down. James can’t quite make the tag so Michelle slams her down for two. There’s the hot tag to Melina who goes nuts but gets no response. Michelle suplexes her down but she puts Melina over her shoulders and gets caught in a sunset flip for the final pin.

Rating: D-. This was worthless. As in there was no value to this whatsoever. The sex appeal is going down too as most of the girls are more covered up than they were in the previous years, and when you have bad wrestling with a lack of sex appeal, the Divas matches go way down in value. The crowd didn’t care at all here either.

Batista liked hurting Rey.

No recap video for the main event, but there’s no need for one. It’s the same story as the other world title match minus the Bragging Rights parts.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

Cena is defending of course. The bell rings and Shawn superkicks HHH to the floor. Cena’s reaction is great as he never saw that coming and I don’t think most people did either. The replay screws it up by showing a good three inches between Shawn’s boot and HHH’s face, but that’s normal anymore. Cena tries a fast clothesline on Shawn but gets caught in a neckbreaker instead.

John comes back with a release fisherman’s suplex but Shawn chops away in the corner. Shawn gets kicked onto the top rope where Cena tries the AA but Shawn counters into something that most resembled a DDT for two. Shawn goes for the knee and the fans think Cena sucks. There’s a Figure Four (wrong leg but Shawn is a Flair disciple) on Cena but John turns it over to escape.

Back to their feet we go and Cena’s leg seems perfectly fine. He hits a pair of shoulder blocks but a third misses and he falls to the floor. Shawn loads up the announce table as HHH is still out cold apparently. Cena pops up to try an AA through the table but HHH saves, only to hit a big spinebuster to send Shawn through the table. Back inside we have HHH pounding away on Cena as Striker CANNOT SHUT UP. He talks about how HHH is the ace of spades and all kinds of other terms that either go over most peoples’ heads or MAKE NO FREAKING SENSE. Call him HHH and be done with it you nitwit.

HHH hits a neckbreaker for two on Cena but a Pedigree attempt is countered into a slingshot into the corner. They slug it out with Cena taking over and hitting a shoulder to take over. There’s the ProtoBomb but as Cena goes for the Shuffle, here’s Shawn to send him into the post. It’s time for DX to explode and Shawn takes over early with an atomic drop and some chops. HHH comes back with a knee to the face but Shawn hits the forearms and nips up.

The nip up doesn’t do much good though as he is immediately caught in the spinebuster, but like Cena he escapes the Pedigree. Shawn goes up but gets crotched by Cena who goes up as well, only to miss the top rope Fameasser. Shawn hits the top rope elbow on Cena but HHH sends Shawn to the floor. There’s the STF on HHH as Cena doesn’t seem interested in selling at all in this match. As HHH is about to tap, Shawn comes in and hooks the Crossface on Cena to break the hold.

Cena pulls up from that into an AA attempt but Michaels slips down the back, only to get caught in the STF. Shawn FINALLY gets the rope and pops up to superkick Cena down. HHH charges in and takes another superkick, only to fall on Cena for a VERY close two. Cena hits an AA on HHH as Shawn gets back in after falling out after the two kicks. They both crawl for the cover and both get a two at the same time. All three guys try finishers on each other (including a piledriver attempt from Shawn) before Shawn superkicks HHH again but gets AA’d onto HHH for the pin by Cena to retain.

Rating: B. Good solid match here and WAY better than the previous one. Cena’s selling here was really surprising though as he’s not one to pull something like that. Other than that the finishers being used so often got a bit annoying, but the match felt like a big battle where anyone could have won, which couldn’t really be said about Show vs. Jericho vs. Taker. Good stuff here.

Cena signs some autographs for National Guard members to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a pretty good show but overall, it’s kind of underwhelming. The show mostly felt like it came and went and if the show happened that’s fine but if it didn’t exist that would be fine too. The triple threats didn’t work either although the main event was definitely a solid match. No need to see this, although it was good show if that makes sense.

Ratings Comparison

Team Miz vs. Team Morrison

Original: B

Redo: C+

Batista vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Team Kingston vs. Team Orton

Original: B+

Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Team Mickie James vs. Team Michelle McCool

Original: D

Redo: D-

John Cena vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: C+

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B-

That’s probably about as close as this is going to get.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/18/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2009-the-pg-powers-explode/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Survivor Series 2008
Date: November 23, 2008
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 12,498
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Jim Ross, Tazz

This is one of those shows that just doesn’t look that good. We’ve got three Survivor Series matches, a casket match between Undertaker and Show, and the two title matches. It’s the title matches where things get shaky. First of all there’s Cena vs. Jericho. In Boston. With Cena returning from injury. Then we get to the infamous part of the show: the Smackdown World Title match.

On I believe the late Saturday night/early Sunday morning, as in like 2am EST, a story broke on WWE.com, saying Jeff Hardy, one of the guys in the title match, had been found in a stairwell. I want to emphasize that THIS IS ALL THAT WAS SAID. The backlash to it was strong, with some critics saying that it was tasteless given Hardy’s drug issues. Meltzer said it was the worst promotional tactic of the year. Maybe it was just me, but I had ZERO problem with this.

Hardy’s issues had rarely if ever been mentioned on WWE TV, the article said nothing about drugs or alcohol, and it was announced like two days later that it was a physical attack. I never thought it was a drug issue until someone mentioned it to me, and even then I didn’t buy it as it was broken by WWE.com at 2 in the morning before a PPV. But hey, since the guy had issues, we can never run any kind of angle with him right? Anyway, let’s get to it.

The opening video is the EXACT SAME THING it’s been for two years. Literally, they’re the same clips before we get to the stuff about the main events.

JR and Taz talk about the Hardy issue and say that ABC and TMZ picked up the story. I seem to remember that being a lie.

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Shawn Michaels, Rey Mysterio, Cryme Tyme, Great Khali

John Bradshaw Layfield, The Miz, John Morrison, Kane, MVP

I think you can figure out the feuds yourself here. MVP and Mysterio get things going as all of the commentators are talking at once here. MVP is in the middle of a massive losing streak that would result in a face turn and I believe the US Title. Rey hits a quick rana and a clothesline for two before it’s off to JTG for a double dropkick. JTG hits a HARD right hand but MVP gets in a shot to the ribs and hits the Drive-By (running kick to the side of the head) for the elimination. Khali immediately comes in and chops MVP in the head for the elimination to tie things up.

Kane comes in for the staredown of the giants and Khali clotheslines him down with ease. Khali slugs him down and easily breaks up a chokeslam attempt. There’s the chop to the head and Rey climbs on Khali’s shoulders for the splash and another elimination. Off to Morrison who speeds things up. We hear about how great Morrison is from Striker, but unfortunately that chick Melina screwed up his future. Mysterio hits a quick kick to the head and it’s off to Shad.

Now Cryme Tyme vs. Miz/Morrison was a feud ahead of its time: their internet shows got in an argument and a wrestling feud followed. Shad misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Miz. Since Miz isn’t quite the worker he is at this point, it’s back to Morrison very quickly. Shad runs over both members of the tag team and powerslams Miz down before hitting another overhyped elbow. Miz pops back up and hits the Reality Check (backbreaker/neckbreaker combo) to eliminate Shad.

It’s off to Shawn who comes in via a slow, dramatic step. He gets to face the Miz, meaning that entrance was wasted. To the shock of almost everyone, Miz takes over and double teams with Morrison to work over Shawn’s back. JBL, the slimmed down version, comes in to pound away and drop an elbow for two. Back to Miz who pounds away at Shawn’s bad eye, busting it open again.

Morrison comes in again to crank on a headlock and send Shawn over the top. Why would you turn your back when you throw Shawn over the top rope? At least Morrison jumps him when Shawn skins the cat. A forearm puts Shawn down and Morrison nips up in a little jab at HBK. Morrison misses the top rope elbow and it’s a double tag to bring in Miz vs. Mysterio. Rey hits a springboard rana into the 619 and the top rope splash puts Miz out.

JBL comes in and hits a hard shoulder to take Mysterio down. The crowd is WAY into Rey here. The fans think JBL can’t wrestle. The correct chant would be “You can’t work a style we like because we think that flying around and using a lot of moves is how a wrestler’s talents are determined because we don’t know what we’re talking about!” Off to Morrison with a European uppercut followed by a backbreaker.

Rey gets in a kick to the face but it’s off to JBL to hook an abdominal stretch with the leg being cranked on at the same time. Once Rey escapes, JBL uses something you don’t often see: a big boot to the back of the head. Rey blocks a belly to back superplex and hits a moonsault press to put JBL down and bust open his lip. There’s the tag to Shawn who hits the forearm and nip up of his own (take that Morrison) to send Bradshaw to the floor.

Shawn dives out to take Bradshaw out and loads up the superkick to send JBL running away. With JBL running away from the kick, Shawn slides back in and beats the count by one second, meaning JBL is gone via a countout. Morrison tries to superkick Shawn but Shawn is like boy these boots are older than you and kicks Morrison’s head off for the final pin and 3-0 final score for lack of a better term.

Rating: C. This was fine but the ending was kind of anti-climatic. They were trying to save the Shawn pin over JBL which was a good idea as they would have a solid feud in the next few months which resulted in Shawn being JBL’s lackey because Shawn was poor. The guys other than the captains in this didn’t do much of note but that’s kind of the idea behind a match like this. Not bad but nothing great either.

HHH doesn’t think he needs to give his opinion on the Jeff Hardy situation. Either way, Hardy will be back. Instead it’s going to be Kozlov vs. HHH. The Game (Smackdown World Champion here) says tonight is Kozlov’s first defeat.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Candice Michelle, Jillian Hall

Michelle McCool, Victoria, Maria, Maryse, Natalya

Beth is the captain of Team Raw and McCool is captain of Team Smackdown. They’re also Women’s and Divas Champions respectively. Santino is here with Beth because awkward romances are funny right? Mickie has her signature look down now and is very bouncy. For the sake of simplicity, only Michelle McCool will be referred to as Michelle. Beth and Michelle start things off with Beth controlling via a top wristlock. Michelle uses some decent chain wrestling to set up a dropkick to send Beth backwards a bit.

Maryse tags herself in and gets in a brawl with her own partner Michelle. Team Raw: “LET THEM FIGHT!” After the brawl is broken up, it’s Beth vs. Maria with Maria avoiding a charge and hitting a slow motion headscissors. Off to Kelly vs. Maria and hopefully this doesn’t last long. Victoria tags herself in and gets caught in a rana by Kelly for the pin. Kelly tries the same thing on Maryse for two so Maryse hits a backbreaker and gets the pin (and a nice handful of boob).

It’s 4-4 now if you’re keeping track and Mickie comes in while swearing a bit. A Thesz Press puts Maryse down and it’s off to Michelle again. They try to bridge into a backslide, fail miserably, and try again to a standoff. McCool hits a Russian legsweep for two and Mickie hits a clothesline for the same, but Maria’s save hits McCool on the save, allowing Mickie to hit the jumping DDT and pin Michelle. Mickie gets in an argument with Beth and gets rolled up by Maryse to tie it right back up.

Off to Candice vs. Natalya and they trade some rollups for two. Natalya busts out a Sharpshooter (it is the Survivor Series after all) but Jillian makes the save. Candice hits a spear for a quick pin on Natalya and it’s 3-2. For those of you keeping track, it’s Jillian, Beth and Candice vs. Maria and Maryse.

It’s Jillian vs. Maria with Jillian getting two off a Samoan Drop. Maria grabs a quick victory roll to eliminate Jillian and ten seconds later, Candice hits a northern lights suplex to put Maria out. Maryse hooks an inverted figure four on Candice and we’re down to one on one. Maryse gets in a few shots and a rollup but the Glam Slam gets the final pin very quickly.

Rating: D. As decent as last year’s was, this felt like your traditional Divas match. You had some decent workers but most of the girls are models who are there because of how they look in swimsuits. I’ve seen worse matches and the right choice was the survivor, but this just didn’t work for the most part.

Matt Hardy says that Jeff was hit in the back of the head with a blunt object. There. Controversy over. I’m sorry you had to suffer for less than a day you whiny people.

We recap Undertaker vs. Big Show. Show isn’t scared of Undertaker so he’ll win the casket match tonight.

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Casket match if that wasn’t clear or if you’re an idiot that needs everything spelled out for you. The casket gets the full druid entrance. I wonder if those guys hang out at catering after this. Show took all of 2007 off and lost a ton of weight so he’s still kind of slim here. Well slim for him that is. They have a nice casket this year too. I don’t think the bell rang but Show starts throwing punches anyway. One misses and Taker tries to dump him into the casket to no avail.

They head to the floor and Undertaker’s headbutt has no effect. Show pounds away at the ribs and rams Taker face first into the announce table to daze Undertaker. The announce table gets loaded up but Show headbutts him instead of putting Taker on the table. Taker grabs one of those big monitors WWE uses (you would think they would have upgraded by this point wouldn’t you? They still use those things in 2012 I believe) and bashes Show’s head in a few times with it. Taker drops a BIG leg to put Show through the table in the big spot of the match.

Very slowly we start heading back to the casket but take a detour back into the ring instead. Old School is countered and things slow down again. There’s a side slam from Show as the crowd is a lot less interested than they were when Undertaker was on offense. The casket it opened and Taker is put inside, but Show has to close the casket himself. Since Show won’t close the lid, Taker comes back with a bunch of punches and the jumping clothesline. Show hits a big elbow in the corner to slow down Taker (and the crowd) again. For some reason Show loads up a Vader Bomb when Taker is half up and gets chokeslammed down.

The casket is opened again and a big boot to the side of Show’s head knocks him inside, but Show blocks the lid from being shut again. Back in and Show hits the chokeslam….then destroys the casket. Show starts walking away and there’s a wall of fire to stop him from leaving. Taker goes after him and gets punched down again, but here are more druids with another casket.

Show punches Taker a bit more and stands the casket up so he can ram Taker into it and knock both of them down. The casket is stood up again but it’s open this time. Taker punches Show to the edge of the stage before whipping Show into the casket, causing it to fall and shut to give Taker the win.

Rating: D. This is a horrible casket match by some people but it’s really not that bad. It’s certainly a bad match but the ending was kind of creative and what are you expecting from Taker vs. Big Show? They’re going to hit each other a lot and it’s going to be slow, so why do people act surprised when any match with either of these two or Kane is the same formula? Not a good match but it’s definitely not terrible.

Carlito and Primo hit on the Bellas but can’t tell them apart. In something I never thought I’d have to say again, the Gobbledygooker pops up and the Colons think it’s Charlie Haas, but of course he pops up in the room and the Gooker is played by the Boogeyman. This would be another pointless segment.

Randy Orton doesn’t want to be team captain but his team will win anyway. He implies Cody is the weak link of the team. Cody says that if Randy is eliminated first, it’s addition by subtraction. The team has to hold them apart.

Team Orton vs. Team Batista

Randy Orton, Mark Henry, William Regal, Cody Rhodes, Shelton Benjamin

Batista, Kofi Kingston, CM Punk, R-Truth, Matt Hardy

Shelton is US Champion, Matt is ECW Champion and Punk/Kofi are Raw tag champions. Yeah that didn’t last long. Punk immediately charges at Regal and hits the GTS for the elimination in about ten seconds. Shelton gets a very fast two on Punk before pounding away on his back. Off to Kofi who grabs a front facelock. Kofi is even more over here than usual as he went to college in Boston. Kofi tries a monkey flip but Shelton lands on his feet and brings in Henry to pound away all slow like.

Henry apparently gets tired after a few seconds so here’s Cody. Matt comes in, does nothing of note, and tags in Truth who pounds away. Striker talks about what a killing Truth is making as we can hear a lot of spots being called here tonight. I don’t know if the ring is mic’d loudly or what but you can hear all kinds of stuff here. Batista comes in and everybody runs until it’s only Cody left to face him. Ok make that Shelton actually. Batista takes him down with ease and gets two via a powerslam. Off to Matt vs. Randy as things speed up. A bulldog gets two for Matt but a moonsault misses.

It’s off to Henry who lost the ECW Title to Hardy a few months ago. Cody comes in and chokes a bit but there’s the double tag to Truth vs. Shelton. A victory roll gets two for Truth and he does his backflip into the splits spot. The spinning forearm misses completely and Paydirt (the same move Truth now calls Little Jimmy) gets the pin for Shelton. Kofi immediately comes in with a springboard cross body for two and a dropkick to put Shelton down.

The Boom Drop gets another two for Kofi but Henry blasts Kofi in the back of the head. Henry comes in legally now for more quick pounding and it’s finally off to Orton. Orton does his really slow stomp but the knee drop misses. Randy drapes him over the top rope and hits the Elevated DDT for the elimination. Punk is immediately waiting on Orton as Randy is the guy that cost Punk the world title at Unforgiven. Orton gets beaten up for a few moments but gets in a rake to the eyes and tags out to Cody.

Rhodes works on the arm for a bit but gets caught by the knee and bulldog combo for two. Punk goes up but Manu (the other member of Legacy who kind of sucked) distracts him long enough for Cody to shove him off the top. A DDT eliminated Punk quickly and we’re down to….4-2 I think? It’s Batista/Matt vs. Orton/Cody/Henry/Benjamin. Matt comes in and hits a quick Side Effect for two on Rhodes but it’s quickly back to Henry. Matt hits an elbow to the back of Henry’s head and manages to pull off the Side Effect for two. That’s about it for Hardy as the World’s Strongest Slam takes him out, leaving Batista all alone.

Big Dave immediately spears down Henry to make it 3-1 as Shelton comes in. Benjamin gets caught in a spinebuster almost immediately and the Batista Bomb gets is down to 2-1. Cody comes in and peppers Batista with some right hands before charging into a boot. Batista powerslams Rhodes down and says Orton is next. Batista hits the Bomb on Rhodes but Randy made a blind tag while Cody was in the air. The RKO gets the elimination and win for Rhodes and Orton.

Rating: B. This was a kind of throwback to the old school Survivor Series matches where the numbers finally caught up with the big face and he got beat. Orton vs. Batista was one of the big matches that WWE never really got to do on the scale I think they were hoping for. They would have a long match next month at Armageddon but that’s hardly the second main event at Wrestlemania which they were capable of having. Still though, good stuff here and the best match of the night by far.

Kozlov says he’ll win.

Hardy is officially out of the title match tonight.

The recap video is pretty pointless now because the video is mostly about Jeff. Kozlov is here because HHH wanted to have some big epic match with him that no one but him was interested in. Jeff is here because he keeps getting so close to winning the title so EVIL Vickie wouldn’t let him in the match. Jeff invaded the contract signing and beat up a lot of people until he was put in the match.

Then HHH decided he didn’t want to put Hardy over for the title so we needed a transitional champion, which is why the stairwell thing happened. HHH is kind of a jerk like that.

Smackdown World Title: Vladimir Kozlov vs. HHH

After the big match intros we’re ready to go. The fans chant USA of course and for once it’s actually appropriate. Kozlov, the amateur wrestler/combat sports expert, takes it to the mat with amateur stuff. Now remember that, because it’ll become important later. HHH gets on the mat with him and hooks a headlock. The fans now chant boring as we hit a standoff. Now they want Hardy. Well to be fair they only paid for him, so why should HHH not wanting to drop the title matter?

They trade arm holds on the mat and then trade even more arm holds on the same mat. Back up and HHH hits the high knee and a facebuster followed by the DDT for no cover. The fans chant for TNA before HHH hits the spinebuster. Kozlov counters the Pedigree and hits the headbutt to the chest to take HHH down. Vlad sends HHH into the corner and out to the floor where very little happens.

Back in and a fallaway slam gets two for the challenger and he fires some shoulders to the ribs. A powerslam gets another two and it’s off to a body grip to slow things down even more. Kozlov hits a pair of backbreakers for two and it’s back to that grip. HHH comes back with some right hands but gets powerslammed down for another two. A comeback by HHH is countered into a belly to belly as Taz says Kozlov is going to win, further dooming him to lose. HHH hits a Pedigree out of nowhere and here’s Vickie.

She says he’s here and makes it a triple threat, with the third man being the returning Edge. Edge does the psycho eyes on the way to the ring and I think a cameraman fell off the ramp as he was filming. Edge spears down HHH and here’s Jeff Hardy to destroy the Canadian. His chair shot hits HHH though, allowing Edge to steal the pin and the title.

Rating: D. There’s a lot to say here. First and foremost, as usual I disagree with his highness Dave Meltzer, who said this was the worst match of the year. It’s arguably not even the worst match of the show, but think about this for a minute: are you telling me there isn’t some terrible Divas match somewhere in the year worse than this? Or that Honky Tonk Man vs. Santino at Cyber Sunday was indeed better? He gave worst match of the year to Hardy vs. Sting in 2011, so apparently length doesn’t mean anything.

This match was indeed bad, but let’s think about this for a minute. Kozlov is supposed to be a combat sports expert and an amateur wrestler. So what did he do? HE WRESTLED LIKE HIS CHARACTER IS SUPPOSED TO! Now was it boring? Absolutely. Was it a REALLY stupid move to put him in a world title match? Absolutely. Were the fans interested? Not at all. If you want proof, back at Cyber Sunday the options for the title match were HHH vs. either guy, or a triple threat. The results were as follows:

Hardy – 57%

Triple Threat – 38%

Kozlov – 5%

Based on that alone, it’s clear that almost no one wanted to see HHH vs. Kozlov. The interest just wasn’t there, so they booked a triple threat instead which there was interest in. Then they screw the fans out of their money by taking Jeff out of the match because of whatever their reasoning was. Then they flip the fans off AGAIN by having Hardy run in at the end. Hardy would pin Edge in another triple threat the next month to win the title in a shocker. Why this match didn’t happen here is beyond me, but again it’s screwing the fans out of what was advertised until the night before the show.

At the end of the day though, no one bought Kozlov as a real threat to the title. The guy just wasn’t going to be WWE Champion with the response he got, which is why Hardy was the interesting factor in this match. Without him, you have twelve minutes of your time being wasted until the ending, which SHOULD HAVE BEEN HARDY. Anyway, nothing to see here but it’s not the worst match of the year.

We recap Jericho vs. Cena. Jericho snuck into the Scramble match last month and stole the world title while Cena was on the shelf. Tonight, Cena returns from a neck injury to challenge for the title. In his hometown. Against a guy that has literally only beaten him once. And we’re supposed to expect Jericho to have a chance because we’re supposed to ignore all that stuff.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

Cena almost immediately tries the FU but Jericho bails to the apron. Jericho comes back with a headlock which works on the neck followed by a shoulder block to take Cena to the floor. John holds his neck a lot and looks shaken. Back in and Cena pounds away in the corner as they’re hitting hard but the pace of the match is pretty slow if that makes sense. Jericho takes over and things continue to go slowly.

Cena comes back with the Throwback and goes up for the Fameasser but comes down because that’s the move that hurt his neck in the first place. Jericho takes over again and things go slowly. He kicks Cena in the side of the head which is good for a nine count from the referee. Back in and Cena slugs away but gets sent right back to the floor. Jericho throws him into the steps and heads back in for a neck crank.

After the hold is broken, it’s time for more choking followed by a full nelson. The hold lasts almost a minute and a half but Cena blocks the bulldog. A shoulder puts Jericho down but the second shoulder hits. Jericho misses the Lionsault but the Shuffle is countered into the LIONTAMER! Cena escapes the hold so Jericho puts on the regular Boston Crab instead. Cena (as in the hold lasted a minute plus) grabs the rope to escape. Back up and Cena hits an FU out of nowhere but can’t follow up.

Both guys head up to the top with Cena slamming him to the mat, followed up by the top rope Fameasser. Cena is all fired up now but Jericho breaks up the FU and hits a Codebreaker for a delayed two. Jericho takes over and hits a clothesline followed by an EVIL smirk. He smirks a bit too much though and Cena grabs the STFU. Cena has to try to pull the hold back to the middle of the ring and Jericho kicks him away. The champ tries a small package but Cena pulls him up into the FU for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. The match itself was fine, but there was less drama in this than in a Donald Duck cartoon. At the end of the day, Cena does not lose to Jericho and he does not tap out no matter what. The wrestling was fine and it told a story and all that jazz, but I’d rather have a main event where I wasn’t sure what was going to happen than a match being designed for Cena to have everything come together and win and then everything coming together for Cena to win.

Cena celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been doing so many of these lately, but this wasn’t the most interesting show in the world. It was dull at times and almost felt like a chore to sit through. The first hour or so is WAY worse than the rest of the show, but even the last two thirds aren’t all that great. This didn’t work that well and it’s not something I want to see again.

Ratings Comparison

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Original: B+

Redo: C

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Original: D-

Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Team Orton vs. Team Batista

Original: C-

Redo: B

Edge vs. HHH vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Original: D+

Redo: D

John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

I’ve flipped on the two male Survivor Series matches but other than that it’s about the same.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/17/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2008-let-jericho-beat-cena-once-just-one-time/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Survivor Series 2007
Date: November 18, 2007
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz, Joey Styles

It is pretty rare when you have a true one match card but that is what we have here, as Batista is defending the Smackdown World Title against the Undertaker inside the Cell. There might be a few other things going on here, but that has been treated as the be all and end all of the show, as it should be. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the history of the Survivor Series before we move on to this year’s preview.

ECW World Title: Miz vs. John Morrison vs. CM Punk

Punk is defending and for the sake of sanity, I’ll only refer to him as champion. It’s a brawl to start with Punk getting double teamed down into the corner. Morrison catapults Punk into the corner but he comes out with a middle rope crossbody. Punk knocks Miz to the floor but the springboard clothesline is broken up to put Punk down again. Miz breaks up Punk’s springboard with a shot to the floor though and it’s a camel clutch to Punk.

That means Morrison comes in for the save, setting up a backbreaker into a neckbreaker to drop Punk again. A suplex from the apron gets two on Miz but he is right back with a running corner clothesline. Punk is back in with a hurricanrana to send Morrison into Miz for a powerbomb and a near fall. The running knee in the corner sets up the corner bulldog to give Punk two on Miz and a double underhook backbreaker onto the knee gets the same. Morrison is back up to go after Miz, only to be sent outside. That leaves Punk to GTS Miz and retain.

Rating: C+. Miz and Morrison’s rise continues as the two of them have become rather dependable on ECW, and now elsewhere. It makes sense to give them the Tag Team Titles and now we should be seeing even more of them. This was a good way to get the show going as Punk has to work to retain and Miz and Morrison have come far enough that they didn’t seem like cannon fodder.

We look at MVP turning on Matt Hardy, costing the two of them the Tag Team Titles.

MVP says Matt will not be wrestling tonight because he can’t walk. He is tired of being Matt’s latest crutch and he is better than any of his opponents tonight.

Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Layla/Victoria vs. Kelly Kelly/Michelle McCool/Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson

One fall to a finish rather than elimination rules. Michelle suplexes Victoria to start and then kicks her in the face for two. Torrie comes in and gets swung into the side slam, only to come back with a suplex. It’s off to Jillian vs. Kelly, with the latter grabbing a rollup for two of her own. Phoenix comes in and plants Maria but a missed charge allows the hot tag to James to clean house. Everything breaks down and Mickie hits the Long Kiss Goodnight to finish Melina.

Rating: D+. What else were you expecting here? It was a bunch of the good women vs. the bad women and there is only so much you’re going to get from a match like that. They didn’t have time to do anything and given some of the skill levels of the women involved, that is not a bad idea. The positive sign is that the women are making progress, but a lot of them still aren’t ready to be in a match like this. Leave this thing to Raw.

William Regal and Coach are ready to see Hornswoggle get crushed by Great Khali.

Randy Orton is ready to disappoint everyone and break the Heart Break Kid.

Shawn Michaels wants revenge. And the title.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Holly and Rhodes are challenging. Rhodes and Cade start things off with Cade grabbing a hiptoss for some early celebrating. A sunset flip gives Cody one and the headlock goes on. That just earns Cody a backbreaker to cut him off so it’s off to Murdoch for a change. Cody takes him into the corner and it’s Holly coming in to forearm away. The hanging kick to the low abdomen has Cade in trouble and the champs need a breather on the floor.

Back in and it’s an atomic drop into a running boot to Holly’s face as Murdoch takes over again. Cade atomic drops Murdoch into a legdrop on Cody for two more and we’re off to the chinlock. Holly suplexes his way out of trouble but Cade is right there with a clothesline. The second atomic drop/legdrop misses though and it’s Cody coming in to very little reaction to clean house. Everything breaks down and Murdoch Code Reds Cody to retain.

Rating: C-. This would have been fine on any given Raw, meaning it was a pretty disappointing pay per view match. Cade and Murdoch are fine as champions and Rhodes and Holly are getting there as a veteran/rookie team, but they aren’t ready for this kind of a match on pay per view. It was far from bad, but this match was sent out there to die and I think WWE knew that was going to happen.

Team HHH, which is down a man due to Matt Hardy’s knee injury, is ready for Team Umaga. Rey Mysterio talks about being an underdog, but that has never been Kane’s thing. Kane brings up the Katie Vick incident (and goes into details). Then Jeff Hardy reminds HHH of the time he put Jeff in the hospital. HHH: “Uh, my bad.” HHH says this is the night when they can come together and do something terrible, so let’s go do it.

Team Umaga vs. Team HHH

Umaga, Mr. Kennedy, Finlay, Big Daddy V, MVP
HHH, Jeff Hardy, Kane, Rey Mysterio

Matt Striker is here with Big Daddy V. Rey and Kennedy get things going and it’s an early exchange of arm cranking. A running headscissors takes Kennedy down and a Code Red gives Rey two (so based on the previous match, Trevor Murdoch is better at Code Redding than Rey Mysterio). Hardy comes in and gets blasted by Kennedy so MVP comes in for a front facelock.

It’s off to V and the big beatdown ensues, only to have Hardy dive over for the tag to Kane. V belly to belly suplexes him down but Kane is right back up with a top rope clothesline. That doesn’t seem to bother V though as he hits a pair of drops (Samoan and elbow) for the elimination. HHH comes in to slug away on V but a clothesline puts him straight down. Umaga comes in with a belly to belly of his own but misses the middle rope headbutt.

That means Rey can come back in and the basement dropkick gets a quick two. The 619 into the springboard seated senton for two more but the springboard crossbody is countered into a wicked release Rock Bottom. The Samoan Spike gets rid of Rey and it’s 5-2. Kennedy tags himself in for some reason and misses a charge into the corner. Hardy misses the slingshot dropkick in the corner though and it’s MVP coming in with a chinlock. MVP misses a running kick though and the Twist of Fate gives Hardy a fast elimination.

HHH comes back in for a clothesline on Kennedy and the spinebuster follows. V comes in for the save but elbows Kennedy by mistake, allowing HHH to steal the pin. That doesn’t work for V, who pulls HHH outside and posts Hardy for a bonus. Back in and a double DDT plants V and HHH evens it up at 2-2.

Finlay starts dropping elbows on HHH before dropping some elbows on HHH. Back up and HHH makes it over for the tag without much effort and Hardy comes in with the slingshot dropkick in the corner. The Whisper in the Wind hit Finlay and the mule kick hits Umaga, allowing HHH to come back in. There’s the spinebuster to Finlay and the Pedigree leaves us with HHH/Hardy vs. Umaga. HHH avoids the running hip attack in the corner and it’s the Pedigree into the Swanton for the final pin.

Rating: B-. Not one of the all time classic Survivor Series matches but they set up HHH and Hardy as a pair of buzzsaws to run through the rest of the team. The HHH vs. Umaga feud has been pretty much decided multiple times now so the ending wasn’t exactly in doubt. This was more or less the Raw main event and it could have been worse, but I could have gone for a lot better for the one elimination match on the show.

We get a preview of Batista vs. Undertaker with a look at their Cell match in Smackdown vs. Raw 2008. Why Batista is wearing a Tag Team Title to the ring isn’t clear.

Vince McMahon sits down with Hornswoggle to explain why he made the match with Great Khali for tonight. Some people think that it is because Vince hates him, but it is really because he wants Hornswoggle to rise up like the McMahons do. Vince has been an underdog against Time Warner and the US government and he won. Now go win against Great Khali.

Great Khali vs. Hornswoggle

Shane McMahon comes out to introduce Vince McMahon and then Hornswoggle for some family flavor. We even get an old school explanation of the rules as the fans want Shaquille O’Neal (in the front row) to help Hornswoggle, but Vince grabs the mic and says he doesn’t care what the fans want. Hornswoggle kicks the knee and then dropkicks Runjin Singh through the ropes. The green mist sets up some right hands but Khali chases Hornswoggle off. The distraction lets Hornswoggle grab the shillelagh but Vince takes it away. Khali loads up the Vice Grip, only to have Finlay come in for the DQ.

Rating: D. What is there to say about something like this? The match was a segment instead of anything competitive and that is all it was ever going to be. At the end of the day, the Hornswoggle/Vince story has run out of steam and adding Finlay into the mix isn’t likely to make things that much better. Maybe they can shift things around, but Vince needs to be on to something else.

Post match Finlay destroys Khali with the shillelagh and a low blow, allowing Hornswoggle to escape.

Wrestlemania XXIV is in Orlando.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels for the Raw World Title. Michaels came back in September and went after Orton, who had put him on the shelf. Orton kept getting superkicked but got disqualified last month. Now Michaels wants revenge but can’t use the superkick. If he does, the match is instantly over, but if Orton tries to get disqualified, he loses the title.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is challenging and we even get a weapons check. Feeling out process with Michaels grabbing a cravate of all things to start. Orton can’t even slam his way out of the cravate but he can drive Shawn into the corner for some right hands. Michaels is right back with a choke on the back before switching to a front facelock as you can feel the anger and hatred here.

Back up and Orton is sent outside, with Shawn hitting an Asai moonsault to take him down. They get back inside with Shawn grabbing a…..wait for it…..Sharpshooter. Orton makes the rope and gets in a poke to the eye, setting up the hanging DDT for two. Shawn fights up and slugs it out, setting up the forearm. More right hands have Orton in trouble but he’s right back with a dropkick for two.

Some slams give Michaels a breather and the top rope elbow looks to set up Sweet Chin Music. That’s a head fake though and they trade some rollups for two each. Michaels grabs a Crossface instead but Orton gets a foot on the rope. The backbreaker cuts Michaels off again but he counters the Punt into an ankle lock of all things. The grapevine goes on in the middle, only to have Orton kick his way to freedom. Michaels’ Figure Four attempt is countered with a kick into the post so he teases the superkick but gets RKOed to retain Orton’s title.

Rating: B. Pretty good here, but the amount of stipulations they had going on made it a little difficult to believe that they were going to change the title here. Shawn not using the superkick at the end looked a bit awkward though and the ending only worked so well. They had a good match otherwise though, which has to be expected when it’s Shawn vs. Orton getting time.

Post match Orton talks trash to Shawn and gets superkicked.

SAVE US!

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. Undertaker for Batista’s Smackdown World Title. They’ve fought several times this year and Batista finally beat him for the first time last month. Now it’s the big final showdown inside the Cell.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Batista is defending inside the Cell. They start fast with Batista hitting a hard clothesline but having to elbow his way out of a chokeslam attempt. Undertaker punches him into the corner and hits Snake Eyes into the running big boot. The chair is brought in but Batista spears him down. Undertaker’s clothesline gets two this time and they head outside with Undertaker hammering away.

A face rake against the Cell sets up a chair to the throat has Batista in a lot of trouble so Undertaker chairs him in the ribs for two. Old School is countered into a spinebuster (that was cool) for a delayed two and it’s time to slug it out again. Batista’s running powerslam gets two and they head outside with Undertaker getting blasted with a clothesline. Undertaker is fine enough to whip him into the steps and now a chair to the head has Batista busted open.

Old School is broken up again and Batista hits a superplex but Undertaker pulls him into the triangle choke. Since we’re in the Cell, the rope breaks the hold (erg) and they head outside again. This time Batista hits him in the face with the steps and now Undertaker is busted open too. Back in and a chokeslam gives Undertaker two but the Tombstone is countered into another spinebuster for another near fall.

It’s table time, with Batista tossing him through it for two more. The Batista Bomb onto the steps is countered into a backdrop onto the steps. Undertaker plants him with the chokeslam for two, followed by another onto the steps….and a cameraman breaks it up. That’s because the cameraman is Edge, who cameras Undertaker in the head. A Conchairto on the steps knocks Undertaker silly and Edge puts Batista (who saw nothing) on top to retain.

Rating: B+. These two beat the heck out of each other and it felt like a war, with the Edge interference being a great surprise to give them a back door out of the match. What mattered here is they kept things high impact here, which is exactly what these two do best. Let them go in there and hit all their power stuff until one of them can’t get up, which granted was due to some help in this case. You can all but guarantee the triple threat next month and that is a fresh way to go, so nicely done.

Post match, Edge takes Undertaker down again and leaves to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The main events carry the show, but there is a really big gap between the top of the card and everything else. Even the third biggest match on the show doesn’t feel that important as the whole show was built around Batista vs. Undertaker. The show was a fun enough watch, but outside of the main event, it doesn’t feel like a lot of this matters in the long run.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Survivor Series 2006
Date: November 26, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,400
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I’ve always been a big Survivor Series fan and there is something great about seeing a milestone show with the 20^th edition. On top of that, we have three elimination tag matches for a change and the card looks pretty awesome. Then again that has been the case with several shows before and you never know if it is going to live up to the hype. The big non-elimination match is Batista vs. King Booker for Book’s Smackdown World Title so let’s get to it.

The opening video briefly talks about the anniversary before moving on to a traditional hype video looking at the big matches.

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Legends: Ric Flair, Sgt. Slaughter, Dusty Rhodes, Ron Simmons

Spirit Squad: Kenny, Johnny, Mikey, Nicky

Arn Anderson and Mitch are at ringside. The Squad has been insulting Flair and the rest of the legends so it’s time to go to school. Simmons is replacing the injured Roddy Piper and scares Mikey down to start. A powerslam drops Mikey again and it’s a bunch of clotheslines to take the rest of the Squad down. Mitch offers a distraction though and Simmons goes out after him.

The stalking and watching Anderson beat up Mitch take a bit too long though and Simmons gets counted out. Simmons takes Mitch to the back with him and Anderson is ejected (with the fans NOT approving). That means Nicky gets to come in and request a salute from Slaughter, who works on his arm instead. It’s off to Flair for some shots of his own before handing it back to Slaughter for the cobra clutch. Kenny gets in a kick to the back of Slaughter’s head though and the mostly out Nicky gets the pin.

Dusty comes in for the Bionic Elbow to get rid of Nicky and it’s 3-2. Some jabs get Dusty out of the corner but a rollup is enough to finish him off. That leaves Flair alone against Kenny/Mikey/Johnny but Flair grabs a rollup and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin. A small package gets rid of Kenny, meaning Flair can chop Johnny and put him in the Figure Four for the fast tap. Flair beat the last three of them in about two minutes.

Rating: D. The wrestling wasn’t the point here of course and it isn’t like the Squad means anything in the first place. Flair can beat all of these guys without breaking a sweat and he came pretty close here. The team almost has to be done now and that is going to be better for Raw at this point. The idea wasn’t going to work no matter what they did so to get as much as they did out of them is impressive enough. Pretty bad in-ring stuff, and that was never the point.

Post match the big beatdown is on with no one coming out for the save.

We recap Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero for Benoit’s US Title. Benoit thinks that Chavo and Vickie Guerrero are taking advantage of Eddie Guerrero’s estate but they told him to stay out of their business (a fair point). Chavo beat Benoit up and tonight he can win the title.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo, with Vickie, is challenging. Benoit starts very fast with a slam into a backbreaker for two, followed by easily winning a strike off. A snap suplex and slam get two each on Chavo as JBL says Chavo made Rey quit like a little girl. I’m almost scared to imagine when/how JBL made a little girl say she quit. Chavo comes back with a series of strikes and sends Benoit hard into the post.

There’s a Saito suplex for two and the armbar goes on. Benoit gets creative with a Samoan drop to escape but Chavo dropkicks him right back down. A suplex sets up the frog splash for two but Chavo stops to yell some more. Benoit fights up again and knocks Chavo away for a needed breather so Vickie gets on the apron. After dealing the pesky manager, it’s the Crossface to retain the title.

Rating: C. That is pretty much it for Chavo being seen as anything serious as he loses the big showdown after Benoit kicks out of his finisher. What other reason is there to buy into him at this point? Chavo was not exactly a can’t miss prospect here anyway and it’s ok for him to not win, but this should wrap it up on him being seen as a serious villain, at least for the time being.

Lita, with Edge, affirms that she is still retiring after her title match against Mickie James no matter what. Edge makes fun of Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb while Cryme Tyme sneaks in and steals a box. Edge rants about DX as Cryme Tyme sneaks out of the room.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is defending and gets driven into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs to start. Some kicks to the ribs slow Mickie down and Lita counters a headscissors out of the corner by slamming Mickie down on her face (the simple ones always work). The fans deem Lita a “crack w****” as she gets some near falls. With the chant down, Lawler is right there with more jokes about Lita as the bodyscissors has Mickie in trouble.

Lita misses a splash of all things, sending Lawler into the joy of hope over a wardrobe malfunction. Mickie kicks her in the face for two but the hurricanrana out of the corner is countered into another faceplant. The Litacanrana gets two but the DDT is countered with a grab of the rope. They trade rollups for two each until Mickie hits the MickieDT for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. The match was about what you would expect from a big Raw showdown but what matters is passing the torch (which Mickie has held before). The bad thing here was the amount of jokes at Lita’s expense, as commentary laid it in even thicker than usual. I know she’s leaving, but WWE can be rather cruel with these things at times, which was the case here.

Post match Lita insists on being called the greatest of all time but has to rant at the fans for disrespecting her so much. Cue Cryme Tyme with the box, sending Lita further over the edge. It’s time for a “ho sale” but it’s cash only. First item up is some yeast infection medicine, followed by some underwear (which JBL wants to smell before buying). Something that vibrates goes for $25 and finally, Lita’s box (it’s cheap and wide) is a hot item to wrap it up. Kind of a cruel way to go, but at least it saves them the cost of a trash bag (April 2021 reference for those of you reading this in 3847).

Earlier today, Batista wouldn’t answer any of Michel Cole’s questions. After a clip of the beatdown on Smackdown, Batista says he’s leaving as champion.

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

DX: HHH/Shawn Michaels/Matt Hardy/CM Punk/Jeff Hardy

Rated-RKO: Edge/Randy Orton/Gregory Helms/Mike Knox/Johnny Nitro

The fans are way into Punk so HHH lets him ask if they are ready. The bell rings and HHH has Kelly Kelly get on the apron for a better view (while covering Shawn’s eyes of course). The distraction lets Shawn hit the superkick for a fast pin and elimination. Shawn chops away at Nitro and hands it off to Jeff to knock him down as well. Helms comes in to take Matt down and it’s Edge coming in as well to stomp away.

The villains start taking turns on Matt, who has to cover up from Nitro’s right hands to the head. Matt kicks him away and brings Punk in, much to the fans’ delight. Matt’s neck snap across the top sets up a Rock Bottom into the Anaconda Vice to eliminate Nitro. Orton dropkicks Punk down and Helms takes over with a front facelock to keep him on the mat for a bit.

The yet to be named Codebreaker connects for Helms and the RKO gets two with HHH making a save. It’s back to HHH for the jumping knees to the face as everything breaks down. Jeff and Shawn hit some dives onto the floor, leaving HHH to bust Helms’ spine. The Twist of Fate into the spinebuster gets rid of Helms and it’s Rated-RKO against all five members of the other team. Rated-RKO try to leave but get thrown back inside for Poetry in Motion into Sweet Chin Music to get rid of Edge. Another superkick into the Pedigree finishes Orton for the win.

Rating: D+. How weird is it to see a squash in a Survivor Series elimination match? Granted the talent on one side was completely nuts but my goodness man. This was completely one sided and I’m not sure how wise that was. Rated-RKO were decimated here, Helms’ title somehow lost even more value and Nitro was just a guy. It was fun, but I’m not sure if this was the smartest move.

We recap Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker. Kennedy is the latest young guy to go after Undertaker and say he is the new big star. This time Kennedy even managed to bust Undertaker open with his microphone so tonight it’s a First Blood match, which seems like a nice way out of having someone take a fall.

Mr. Kennedy is ready for his match but MVP gives him a pep talk anyway.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

First Blood. Kennedy hammers away to start and gets knocked over the top for his efforts. Undertaker sends him face first into the announcers’ table and then throws Kennedy over it for a bonus. Some headbutts have Kennedy in pain and there’s a big boot to to drop him again. Kennedy is back up with a whip into the steps but gets posted to cut that off in a hurry. Back in and Undertaker hits a top rope superplex but Kennedy is back with a low blow.

Undertaker doesn’t seem to mind and kicks away at the ribs before hammering away in the corner. Another low blow slows Undertaker down but Kennedy’s nose is busted. Cue MVP to towel Kennedy’s blood off….and throw Kennedy back inside as payback for Kennedy doing the same thing on Smackdown. Kennedy hammers away but here is MVP with a chair, which hits Undertaker by mistake (in theory) to bust him open. The referee finally sees it to give Kennedy the win.

Rating: C. The ending sets up a few more things, including MVP’s complete and utter destruction. Much like MVP winning the cage match against Kane on Smackdown, this is the kind of win that helps make Kennedy look that much more important. Of course it would be better to have Undertaker get pinned, but that isn’t something that happens very often so take what you can get here. Granted that’s Undertaker beating Kennedy up for most of the match and then getting cheated at the end, though I doubt Kennedy would mind.

Post match Kennedy brags about the win and talks a lot of trash, allowing Undertaker to wrap a chair around Kennedy’s head. Kennedy is busted open and Undertaker gives him a nasty Tombstone. The gloves come off and some bare knuckle punches have the bloody Kennedy bleeding even more. The referee drags him off.

Queen Sharmell gives King Booker a pep talk so Booker can monologue about how this is it for Batista.

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

Cena: John Cena, Bobby Lashley, Rob Van Dam, Kane, Sabu

Big Show: Big Show, Finlay, MVP, Test, Umaga

Cena avoids Umaga’s charge to start and sends him outside. Everything breaks down and Umaga hits Cena in the ribs with a TV monitor for the fact DQ. We settle down to Test elbowing Van Dam in the corner and planting him down so MVP can come in with the chinlock. Van Dam, with his nose bleeding, fights up and scores with the spinning kick to the face.

More kicks put all of the villains down and it’s Kane kicking MVP in the face. The Five Star gets rid of MVP but Test is right there with the big boot to eliminate Van Dam. Test sends Sabu outside but Lashley nails a spear, allowing Sabu to hit a tornado DDT for the pin. Show comes straight in to chokeslam Sabu for the pin as these eliminations are flying by. The Leprechaun comes out to give Finlay the Shillelagh and a shot to the head rocks Kane, setting up a chokeslam so Big Show can get rid of him too.

So it’s Cena/Lashley vs. Show/Finlay with Show powerslamming Cena in a hurry. Finlay comes in to stomp away but Cena gets in a knockdown of his own. That’s enough to bring in Lashley and everything breaks down again. A double clothesline drops Show but here’s the Leprechaun, who is thrown onto Cena. The distraction lets Lashley spear Finlay down for the pin and we’re down to 201. Cena manages to DDT Show and there’s a double suplex to put him down again. The finishing sequence is initiated and the FU finishes Show.

Rating: D+. his match, which featured eight eliminations, is now the longest match of the night at about twelve and a half minutes. I’m not sure why we need to go that short with everything but it has been a problem with almost everything on the show. Cena and Lashley teaming up to take out Show worked, but was there really any need for five eliminations in less than two minutes?

We recap Batista vs. King Booker for the Smackdown World Title. Batista had to vacate the title earlier this year due to an injury in this very building. It is his missing to get it back but Booker isn’t going it up so easily. If Batista loses, he can never challenge Booker for the title again.

Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Batista

Batista is challenging and starts fast by jumping him before the bell. They get inside to officially start the match with Batista hammering away in the corner. The threat of a Batista Bomb sends Booker bailing to the floor and the fans aren’t pleased. Back in and Batista hammers away even more but a hot shot gets Booker out of trouble. A catapult sends Batista throat first into the bottom rope and Booker stomps away even more.

Booker pokes him in the eye but you don’t need two eyes to hit a side slam for two. They head to the apron for a slugout with Batista knocking him back in. Sharmell grabs the leg though and Booker kicks him out to the floor again. Back in and Booker pounds him down into a chinlock as Cole asks JBL what it feels like to try and get the title back. JBL: “I’m not a loser Michael. Bring up something else.”

Batista fights up and hits the clotheslines into a big boot to send Booker outside. That means a whip into the steps, followed by a top rope shoulder (dang) for two back inside. Booker is right back with a Bookend for two but Batista is up with the Batista Bomb. They’re right next to the rope so Booker saves himself, allowing Sharmell to hand him the title. A Sharmell distraction doesn’t work though as Batista ducks the shot and takes the belt away. Batista’s belt shot is enough for the pin, the title, and the energized celebration.

Rating: D, This really didn’t work and the ending was stupid. How much of a conqueror does this make Batista, when he needed a belt shot to beat Booker? It’s a reclaiming the glory story and that should work, but the lack of drama didn’t help anything. Pretty awful main event with the main bright spot being the fact that they didn’t go long here. It’s the longest match of the show at less than fourteen minutes and it felt every one of them.

Batista celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. For a show that looked pretty fun on paper, this wound up being a nearly complete miss with nothing worth seeing, a bunch of matches that felt rushed, and a World Title change in the end that was about as lame as possible. These Survivor Series matches are supposed to be about hanging in there over a grueling match, but Finlay and Benoit had a match on Smackdown that was longer than anything here. It wasn’t the worst show, but someone needs to teach them how to Survivor Series.

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Survivor Series 2005
Date: November 27, 2005
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s all about Raw vs. Smackdown as the big elimination tag is all that matters around here. That’s in addition to the Raw World Title match, which should be another good but not exactly thrilling showdown. I’m not sure what to expect for most of the show, but that elimination tag is the centerpiece of the show. Let’s get to it.

The opening sequence is almost all about Raw vs. Smackdown, as it should be.

Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit

Match #1 in a best of seven series for the vacant US Title. Benoit gets backed into the corner to start and it’s a surprisingly clean break. Booker slams him down but Benoit pops back up for a standoff. Some forearms puts Booker on the floor and we’re still in low first gear. They go to the mat with Benoit easily getting the better of things and cranking on the leg to limited success.

That’s enough for Booker to take another breather on the floor. Back in and Booker elbows him in the face so Benoit hits him with a running forearm. That just earns Benoit a side slam for two and the armbar goes on. Make that an abdominal stretch but Benoit fights out again and hits an elbow. Booker elbows him into the corner and gets two off a neckbreaker.

A reverse chinlock doesn’t last long so Booker goes with the jumping kick to the face instead. Benoit grabs a quick dragon screw legwhip but the Sharpshooter is countered into a small package for two. The rolling German suplexes work a bit better but Sharmell’s distraction delays the Swanton, allowing Booker to roll away. A rollup with feet on the ropes and Sharmell grabbing the leg is enough for Booker to get the pin.

Rating: B. This was better than their Smackdown match as they were able to build things up a bit better. It’s a good way to start off the show, though it’s not like these matches matter all that much until we get to what is more than likely going to be a seventh match. That sounds good in theory, but it wouldn’t surprise me to see the match get a little boring by that point.

Eric Bischoff meets with Vince McMahon in the back and talks about the history of screwjobs at Survivor Series. Tonight, Bischoff Screws Cena. Cue Cena: “So Eric Bischoff screws guys.” Bischoff leaves and Cena shakes Vince’s hand. In a legendary line, Vince: “Keep it up my n****.” Vince struts off as Booker and Sharmell look flabbergasted. I can’t believe this is uncensored on the Network.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending and this is interpromotional after Melina and MNM kidnapped Trish on Raw. Mickie James and Melina are here as well. Trish jumps her to start and sends Melina outside for the big dive onto all three of them. Back in and a hair toss sends Melina down and the headscissors does the same. Melina gets in a knee to the back and a kick to the ribs.

They trade boot chokes in the corner and but Melina goes after Mickie, leaving MNM to try the Snapshot on Trish. That’s broken up by a referee actually paying attention and the two of them are ejected. We hit a modified surfboard, which I’m sure is not just an excuse to put Trish in various positions. The Matrish is broken up with a shot to the ribs for two but the Stratusphere works just fine. Stratusfaction is broken up but Mickie saves Trish from a cheap shot to the back. A top rope bulldog retains the title.

Rating: D+. There was only so much you could do here as there is no secret to the fact that this is setting up Mickie challenging Trish for the title at some point in the future. Melina hadn’t gotten good in the ring yet so for now she’s glorified eye candy who can do a passable match. In other words, she’s a traditional Diva of the era.

We recap HHH vs. Ric Flair in a Last Man Standing match. Flair beat him last month in a cage match so now it’s about ending each other in the way WWE ends people.

HHH vs. Ric Flair

Non-title and Last Man Standing. HHH jumps him in the aisle and the beating is on in a hurry with Flair’s robe and belt being ripped off. Flair gets in a kendo stick to the ribs (Flair using a kendo stick is just wrong) and they head into the crowd with HHH managing to backdrop him back to ringside. A suplex has Flair in more trouble inside and the pace slows a bit.

They go outside again and a screwdriver to the head busts Flair open in a hurry. Back in and some kneedrops make the blood flow even more and it’s already back to the floor. HHH takes too long setting up the announcers’ table though and Flair sends him face first into the steps. A spinebuster on the floor cuts Flair off again though as this has been one hope spot after another with HHH dropping him every time. HHH grabs a microphone to yell but Flair grabs him low.

That earns him a trip into the announcers’ table but Flair backdrops him through the other one in the first really big spot of the match. HHH is up at eight so Flair takes him back inside for some chops. Some right hands put Flair down as well so he hits HHH low to even things up. A chair to the head puts HHH down and Flair bites at the head, followed by a crotching against the post.

The chop block takes HHH down again but the Figure Four is broken up. Flair doesn’t seem to mind as he wraps the knee around the post and smashes it with a chair. NOW the Figure Four can go on and Flair even grabs the rope for a bonus. HHH taps so Flair can claim a bit of a moral victory and the hold is let go. A shot to the face knocks Flair into the corner and the steps to the head give HHH five.

There’s the drop toehold to send HHH face first into the steps but he staggers up and hits a Pedigree. Flair pulls himself up so there’s a second Pedigree. He’s up again so they hit the same sequence one more time. Flair gets to his feet a third time so it’s a sledgehammer shot to the….something well hidden by a camera cut but it’s finally enough to finish Flair off.

Rating: B. It’s good but it’s nowhere near as good as the cage match. As usual, the ending didn’t work very well as they were just doing the same stuff over and over again until a big hammer shot put Flair down. Thankfully they didn’t waste a lot of time with the near falls throughout the match, which are always annoying in a match like this. It wasn’t great and it should have been shorter but it worked well enough.

Randy Orton and JBL try to fire up Team Smackdown but Batista comes in and takes care of it for them.

Here are Edge and Lita for a chat. They’re changing things up around here because they are going to have their own talk show with the Cutting Edge. With that out of the way, Edge calls out Detroit Tiger Dmitri Young, who plays for a bad team and is fat you see. Detroit sports jokes abound but Young asks about Edge’s World Title. Edge and Lita are out of here, just like Ford and GM.

We recap John Cena vs. Kurt Angle. Kurt has beaten him a few times but never for the title so now he has Daivari as his personal referee. It’s the final showdown and this should be a good one.

Raw World Title: Kurt Angle vs. John Cena

Cena is defending and Daivari is guest referee. The place goes coconuts for Cena as the star power continues to rise. Angle wastes no time in taking him down by the leg and cranks on the ankle a bit. Some shoulders put Angle on the floor and DANG the fans are into Cena. Daivari won’t let him go after Angle though and things settle down a bit. Back in and Angle stomps him down in the corner until Cena snaps off a release fisherman’s suplex.

That’s not even worthy of a count so Angle grabs the ankle lock. Cena makes the rope so Daivari kicks his hand away. With that not working, Cena kicks him away and slaps Daivari in the face. Daivari is ready for the DQ but Angle gets sent into him for the double knockdown. Angle posts Cena and another referee comes down to count two. Some suplexes give Angle some twos and we hit the waistlock. Another suplex drops Cena again and the fans get even louder.

It’s off to the weird cousin of an STF on Cena but Angle switches to a regular chinlock pretty quickly. Cena suplexes his way to freedom and the comeback is on….so Angle clotheslines the referee on purpose. A low blow drops Cena and the Angle Slam gets two from the third referee. Angle’s top rope superplex gets two more but he misses the moonsault. The FU is broken up and Angle decks the third referee so here’s one from Smackdown. Angle tries to hold him back as Cena DDTs Daivari and then FU’s Angle to retain.

Rating: C+. They had a good match in there somewhere but egads they had too much going on at the same time here. When you have a fourth referee climbing over the three down referees, you’re only going to get so far. Cena needs a fresh opponent now as he’s beaten Angle more than once now so just let him do something else. That being said, who is there right now?

Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long

Palmer Cannon is here with Teddy and there is a referee from both shows. Long posts to start and then ducks a clothesline, meaning it’s time to dance. With that out of the way, it’s more dancing and the required crane pose. Cannon gets drawn onto the apron and Bischoff gets in some choking. A sleeper goes on until Long takes off his own shoe and hits Eric in the head. Eric is ticked….and we’ve got the Boogeyman. Choking into a pumphandle slam drops Bischoff and the one shoed Long gets the pin.

Rating: D-. Teddy’s dancing is the only thing that keeps this from failing because it always makes me smile. This was a complete waste of time but they had to have something in there to stretch the show out a bit. It wasn’t a match of course but what else were you expecting out of something like this?

Both teams get cheered to the ring by their locker rooms.

We recap Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown. Back at Homecoming, Bischoff turned out the lights on a Smackdown six man tag so a bunch of invasions started happening. Therefore, let’s have an elimination tag for brand supremacy.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Shawn Michaels, Kane, Big Show, Carlito, Chris Masters

Smackdown: Batista, Bobby Lashley, John Bradshaw Layfield, Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio

Entrances take forever of course and Rey gets some very loud EDDIE chants. Orton takes Shawn into the corner to start and then does it again for a bonus. Shawn gets in a whip to the other corner to set up some chops as commentary is already bickering. Orton gets in a slam but misses the knee drop so it’s off to Masters. The knee the face works fine on him but it’s quickly off to Lashley, who tosses Masters around.

Carlito gets the tag so Lashley pulls him in and hits a running powerslam for two. It’s back to Shawn, who gets knocked down as well. There’s the Dominator to Carlito but Kane saves Shawn from the same fate. A Kane chokeslam from the apron lets Shawn get rid of Lashley, who wasn’t nearly the factor you would have bet on after the last few weeks. Rey comes in and dropkicks Shawn in the knee as Cole says he’d love to see this dream match. I know he has a short attention span but he can’t remember something from less than two weeks ago?

Kane comes in and gets dropkicked down but is right back up for a big boot. A backbreaker gets two on Rey and we hit the backbreaker. Rey fights out in a hurry though and it’s off to Batista for the shoulders in the corner. A spear into the spinebuster gets rid of Kane but here’s Show for an immediate chokeslam. That’s good for two but Kane is back up for a double chokeslam to get rid of Batista. JBL’s middle rope shoulder is pulled out of the air by Big Show but Orton snaps his throat across the top.

The Clothesline From JBL into the 619 into the RKO into another Clothesline From JBL into the springboard seated senton FINALLY gets rid of Big Show and we’re down to 3-3. Everything breaks down and JBL hits Shawn with a fall away slam on the floor as Masters plants Rey. Carlito comes in for a legdrop and the chinlock goes on. Rey fights up and gets a blind tag from JBL, who blasts Carlito with the Clothesline for the pin.

Masters comes in next and gets hammered down as Shawn is still out on the floor. Rey comes back in and avoids a charge into the post, setting up the 619. Dropping the Dime gets rid of Masters and it’s down to Shawn vs. Orton/Mysterio/JBL. Rey throws Shawn back in and hits the 619 but the West Coast Pop is Sweet Chin Musiced out of the air for the pin. JBL tries the Clothesline but Shawn ducks and superkicks him out for the back to back pins in about fifteen seconds.

That leaves us with Shawn vs. Orton but neither finisher can hit. Orton bails to the floor so Shawn hits a slingshot dive as the fans want Undertaker. Back in and Shawn hits the forearm into the nipup but JBL is still here and brings in a chair. That earns him another superkick but Shawn walks into the RKO for the final pin.

Rating: B. This was good enough and was absolutely the main event of the show. Even though this was for completely meaningless bragging rights, it worked this time because that was something fresh. It’s the difference between doing it once and doing it every year: this time felt like they had built something up instead of throwing it out there because it was November. It also helps when you have Shawn at his best playing the underdog and Orton being great at this match. This nearly identical formula worked in 2003 and it worked here too.

Post match the Smackdown locker room comes in to celebrate….and we’ve got druids. They bring out a casket and stand it upright as the gong hits. Lightning strikes the casket and it is lit on fire, with Undertaker walking out. Undertaker destroys the roster as the Ortons get to the outside. The big staredown with the throat slit ends the show.

Overall Rating: B+. For a show that was almost entirely about the main event, this was actually a very good show with only the Long vs. Bischoff non-match being bad. There are several good matches throughout and it doesn’t drag at all. The ending was a bit obvious as everyone was waiting on Undertaker, but that’s not always the worst thing. Check this out if you need something to watch as it’s a very impressive show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Survivor Series 2004
Date: November 14, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is an interesting show as the two big matches are a match where the impact comes over the next four weeks and another where there is little more than bragging rights on the line. The build for this show hasn’t been the strongest, though a lot of that is due to the changes taking place in the company. There are some fresh talents coming in and they’re still finding their footing, so it should be interesting to see where this show takes us. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at the show’s history, which means about five of the seventeen shows get a look. The video talks about trust and how only the strong will survive. Fair enough, though I’d have rather had more of the historical stuff.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Spike Dudley

Spike is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. It’s a brawl to start with Rey taking a shot to the ribs and Chavo getting double teamed in the corner. Kidman doesn’t waste time in dropkicking Spike to the floor and here’s Spike to clothesline Kidman to the other side of the floor. That leave Rey to sunset flip Chavo for two and armdrag him outside. Spike replaces Chavo and stomps Rey down in the corner as Chavo comes back in.

A double clothesline puts Spike and Chavo down at the same time, leaving Rey to hurricanrana Kidman off the apron. Chavo picks Rey up and throws him into a seated senton Kidman, setting up a dive onto both of them. Spike’s dive just hits floor in a nasty crash but he’s fine enough to run back in and break up Chavo’s belly to back on Kidman. Rey gets whipped hard into the corner, leaving the other three to set up a Tower of Doom with Spike getting the worst.

Kidman was just the electric chair so he BK Bombs Rey but gets posted by Chavo. Spike’s running headbutt to the ribs puts Chavo down, only to have Rey come back with a 619 to the champ. Kidman breaks up the West Coast Pop and drops a slingshot legdrop on Chavo. Rey takes Kidman to the floor though, allowing Spike to pin Chavo to retain.

Rating: C+. Pretty good choice for an opener here with Rey and Chavo handling the dives and a Tower of Doom before it was a cliché. Spike retaining the title isn’t the most thrilling thing in the world but I think I could go for that over another Rey or Chavo reign. Kidman has already fallen off a lot and at the moment there isn’t another better option.

Gene Snitsky comes up to Heidenreich to compliment his poetry. Heidenreich likes what Snitsky does to babies. An uncomfortable amount of grunting ensues.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin

Christian, now with Just Close Your Eyes for theme music and with Tyson Tomko in his corner, is challenging. Shelton goes with a hammerlock to start and Christian bails to the ropes to avoid the wrestling on the mat. Back up and Shelton blasts him with a shoulder to show off some power for a change. Christian is already frustrated and slaps the champ in the face before sending him over the ropes.

The cat is skinned and Shelton hits a springboard Blockbuster (looked like it was supposed to be a clothesline but he rotated too far) for two. For some reason that wakes Christian up even more and he hammers away in the corner. Shelton sticks the landing on a monkey flip and threatens Christian to the floor with a superkick, leaving the announcers to discuss the origins of the Oklahoma roll. A Tomko distraction lets Christian kick him into the barricade and the angry Christian pounds away.

The neckbreaker gets two and we hit the chinlock to stay on Shelton’s neck. Shelton gets thrown outside with someone’s elbow pad flying onto the announcers’ table in the process. Back in and Christian’s reverse tornado DDT gets two but Shelton reverses a whip to send Christian chest first into the buckle. A Jackknife rollup gets two and a reverse slingshot suplex (not quite a fisherman’s JR) is good for the same on Christian.

Shelton misses the Stinger Splash though and it’s an inverted DDT to give Christian two of his own. With nothing else working, Tomko slides the title in and even though it hits the referee in the foot, he doesn’t actually notice. It doesn’t work for Christian, who gets the title tossed, only to have Tomko kick Shelton in the face for two. Back up and Christian tries the Unprettier, which is countered into a quick exploder to retain the title.

Rating: B. This is a good example of a difficulty of five but an execution of ten. They went with a simple story but did it so well that it was easy to get behind as you wanted to see the more athletic champion overcome the cheating and retain. It’s a story that you can get into in a single viewing and Shelton played his role very well. Good match and I could go for another one.

Kurt Angle doesn’t like how Edge portrayed him in his book. He did like the chapter on Edge winning the World Title….or at least he would have if there had been one. Edge laughs it off because his team will win tonight and he’ll get a title shot. Angle goes off for his match but Eugene comes in to list off Angle’s resume and sing YOU SUCK.

Wrestlemania Recall: STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!

Team Angle vs. Team Guerrero

Kurt Angle, Carlito, Mark Jindrak, Luther Reigns

Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, Big Show, Rob Van Dam

Cena charges to the ring to chase Carlito off and beats Jesus up the aisle. Carlito keeps running and Cena shouts about Carlito sending his guys to stab him. With Jesus getting in a cheap shot, Carlito and Jesus jump into a car and run away. Everyone else gets in a fight on the floor and we get the opening bell, meaning Carlito is eliminated due to running away (in other words, he was injured).

We officially start with Show chopping Jindrak in the corner and handing it off to Van Dam for a spinning kick to the face. Rolling Thunder gives Eddie two and the headscissors/armdrag combination puts Jindrak and Reigns down. Angle comes in and punches Guerrero down before handing it back to Reigns for a backbreaker into a side slam. Jindrak’s full nelson is countered with a trip into the buckle but Kurt dives over to break up the hot tag attempt.

The chinlock goes on and switches into a front facelock before it’s back to Jindrak for more entry level offense. Actually hang on as he throws in a hip swivel in between the elbows. Eddie finally gets up and brings Rob in to punch Angle. Jindrak tries to save Angle from the Five Star but takes it instead, allowing Kurt to roll Rob up with the ropes for the elimination. Eddie is right back with a rollup in the ropes to get rid of Jindrak (with a fast count) to make it 3-2.

Big Show comes in to face Angle, who bails out so Reigns can do it instead. Reigns finally goes after the big bandage on the ankle, meaning it’s all of five extra seconds before the chokeslam can get rid of him. That leaves Angle by himself so he grabs the ankle lock, which is countered to send him into the aisle. Angle tries to leave but runs into Rob, who sends him backing up the aisle….and right into Show, with Angle reaching up and finding the very tall head to realize how much trouble he’s in. Back in and the FU into the frog splash is enough for the pin.

Rating: D. I was having flashbacks to the Hulkamaniacs vs. the Million Dollar Team from 1989 as the faces were never in serious trouble. There was almost no doubt after just a few minutes because Jindrak and Reigns were the lamest of goons against a bunch of top stars. They never did anything beyond stomps and slams and it wasn’t exactly believable that they could be a threat. There was no drama here and it showed badly.

Maven doesn’t like the suggestion that he doesn’t belong in the main event…and gets jumped by Snitsky. The beatdown is on and Maven is left bloody.

We recap Heidenreich vs. Undertaker. I’d go into the details here but Heidenreich is the definition of a monster for Undertaker to slay. There have been a lot of them over the years but Heidenreich is one of the lowest of the low. He tried to crush Undertaker with a car, which worked as well as you might have expected. Then he read poetry and seemed to sexually assault Michael Cole. Do I need to continue the explanation?

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Undertaker punches him into the corner to start and the referee wisely bails out to the floor. There’s a big boot to put Heidenreich down and Undertaker sends the arm into the corner. Some pulls on the arm look to set up Old School but Heyman offers a distraction so Heidenreich can break it up with a low blow.

Undertaker gets crotched against the post, which Cole thinks may be a kink in his armor. They head outside with Undertaker taking over off the shots to the ribs and the elbows on the apron. The apron legdrop completes the standard sequence and now Old School can connect. A Downward Spiral has Heidenreich in more trouble but the running boot in the corner misses.

Undertaker gets knocked off the apron so Heidenreich can hammer away against the barricade for two back inside. The chinlock goes on for a bit until a clothesline gives Heidenreich two more. Undertaker gets in a suplex and it’s time for the slugout. The clothesline takes Heidenreich down and it’s Snake Eyes into the big boot.

Right hands get Heidenreich out of the chokeslam and a Boss Man Slam gives him two. The punches in the corner are countered into a weak Last Ride with Heidenreich grabbing the rope for the break. Undertaker slams his way out of a sleeper in a hurry and now the chokeslam connects. The Tombstone finally finishes Heidenreich off.

Rating: D. This was far worse than bad as it was really, really boring. Heidenreich had nothing that felt like a threat to Undertaker and the match itself was much longer than it needed to be at about sixteen minutes. The villains continue to be weak on Smackdown with Undertaker dispatching this goon without much serious trouble, as he should have done.

Eric Bischoff says Maven may not be wrestling tonight and since there is so little time left, Bischoff won’t be naming a replacement. His vacation is too valuable to listen to HHH’s complaints about a replacement.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Lita. Trish mocked Lita for getting pregnant by Kane and referred to her as the Kiss of Death for destroying so many careers over the years. Lita lost the baby thanks to Snitsky but Trish wouldn’t shut up, with some of the best heel promos the women’s division has ever seen. Lita wants to kill her and if she wins the title as well, so be it.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish is defending and starts by hiding in the corner. That’s fine with Lita who slugs away and heads outside where a chair shots DQ’s Lita at just over a minute.

Post match Lita stays on her as Trish’s nose is busted.

Theodore Long comes in to see Team Guerrero and asks if he can talk to Cena alone. Show takes off his towel and Cena is a little disturbed. Long has some good news for him: Cena gets his US Title shot this week on Smackdown.

We recap JBL vs. Booker T. Booker earned the title shot by winning a title shot and the rest of the feud has been built around JBL’s lackey Orlando Jordan vs. interviewer Josh Matthews, because this feud doesn’t have the strongest legs.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T.

JBL is defending and will leave Smackdown if he loses. Feeling out process to start with JBL shouting that this isn’t WCW. Some right hands have JBL in trouble so he hits Booker in the back of the head to take over. Booker’s clothesline doesn’t do him much good as a swinging neckbreaker gives the champ two. A much better clothesline sends JBL outside, though he’s fine enough to poke Booker in the eye.

They fight over the announcers’ table and it’s Jordan getting a cheap shot in from behind. We hit the cobra clutch on Booker, followed by some elbow drops for two. And now, just to mix it up a bit, we hit the chinlock. With that broken up, JBL heads up top and gets superplexed right back down. They head outside with a Book End dropping JBL again though Jordan keeps it on the floor.

JBL and Jordan both get taken out and it’s Booker’s missile dropkick for tow back inside. The Houston Hangover misses but Booker is right back with more kicks to the face. Another Jordan distraction lets JBL get two off a DDT….and the ref gets bumped. It’s Jordan coming in again and this time bringing in a chair. Cue Josh Matthews to take the chair away but JBL kicks him in the face. Booker gets in his own kicks but the second referee takes his time diving in for two, allowing Jordan to make the save. The Book End hits Jordan but JBL hits Booker with the title to retain.

Rating: D. Back to back overly long matches from the blue show with JBL and Jordan being as dull of a combination as you can get. The JBL title reign has lost what little charm it had thanks to the Jordan addition, as the guy isn’t adding anything and was the focal point of this feud, despite being that bad. Booker was trying but he needs something better than this reheated HHH/Ric Flair formula.

Evolution has a pep talk before the main event. HHH leaves and Batista talks about wanting to have his night running Raw. The seeds are being planted.

We recap the Raw elimination tag. Bischoff is tired of being in charge so he’s taking a month off. Therefore, the winning team gets to run Raw a week at a time for a month. They have all made it clear that if they win, they’re coming for the World Title, which is about as logical as you can get. The problem though is there’s little reason to watch this show because it’s all about the next four weeks.

Team HHH vs. Team Orton

HHH, Batista, Gene Snitsky, Edge

Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Maven

There’s no Maven to start and Ric Flair is at ringside to make it 5-3. Benoit gets aggressive with Edge in the corner to start and elbows him in the face to take over. That’s enough to bring in Snitsky and Orton, which is quite the strange looking showdown. Their slugout doesn’t last long and it’s off to Jericho vs. HHH to keep up the alternating matchups. Orton is right back in to hammer on HHH with Flair panicking about HHH taking such a beating.

The jumping knee to the face gets HHH out of trouble and it’s Batista hitting his powerslam for two. Edge comes in and gets sent into the corner, allowing the quick tag to Benoit, who beats up everyone in short order. The rolling German suplexes have HHH in trouble and Benoit suplexes Edge onto him. A double Swan Dive gets two with Snitsky having to make a save.

The Sharpshooter has HHH In trouble but Snitsky makes another save. That’s enough for HHH to hit a quick Pedigree so Edge can pin Benoit for the first elimination. Jericho comes in next and gets taken down by a neckbreaker but HHH and Snitsky gets in a shouting match. HHH gets shoved down so Batista comes in to go nose to nose with Snitsky. Batista realizes what’s going on and breaks up the Walls on HHH.

Flair gets caught breaking up the Walls again and that means an ejection. With the referee taking care of Flair, Batista blasts Jericho and Orton with a double clothesline. Orton breaks up the big clothesline to Jericho with a belt shot and it’s a running enziguri to eliminate Batista. That’s not it for Batista to leave in peace though so he blasts Jericho with the big clothesline and then heads out. Snitsky comes in for stomping and choking instead of covering because he’s new at this. It’s off to Edge, who gets taken down with a sleeper drop but Snitsky breaks up the hot tag attempt. Everything breaks down again but here’s a bandaged up Maven to come in and go after Snitsky.

Maven’s middle rope bulldog takes HHH down but Snitsky caves his head in with a chair shot that would get him tossed out of the building today. Here it’s just a DQ, though HHH pins Maven with no trouble a second later. We’re down to HHH/Edge vs. Orton/Jericho with Jericho slipping out of the Pedigree but getting speared down for two. HHH and Edge smile down at Orton, who says bring it on.

The double stomping is on with Edge stomping away and handing it off to HHH, with JR losing his mind that Edge won’t get out of the ring. HHH’s DDT gets two and he argues with the referee, allowing Orton to roll him up for two. Edge comes in and accidentally spears HHH to give Orton the easy pin. We’re down to HHH vs. Orton with the former starting fast with a low blow. Orton gets up again and counters the Pedigree into the RKO for the pin. The Orton vs. HHH part was barely a minute and a half long.

Rating: B-. Perfectly watchable match here with Snitsky still being protected and Maven still being Maven. Other than that they’ve done a good job of making Orton look like a threat to the title, but the two Canadians are just kind of there with little reason to believe that they’re going to be a threat t o the title. That leaves us waiting until probably the Royal Rumble for a new challenger, meaning it’s time for winter vacation without missing any time from the show.

Orton poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a really weird one as it contains a lot of perfectly watchable to good wrestling, but absolutely nothing that changes anything long term. The main event stipulation lasts a grand total of four episodes of Monday Night Raw, and while that might change something, there’s no guarantee that any of this could actually matter. The Smackdown stuff was even less important with the two main matches being long and dull, leaving us with no one to challenge JBL at the moment.

Overall, the show is a rather quick sit (only a little over two and a half hours) with nothing too bad (boring, but not terrible). It could have been worse, but the biggest problem is how nothing actually matters in the end. Like I said, they’re in a big transitional period right now and while they probably have long term goals in mind, this is a rather hard stretch to get through because the villains feel like placeholders, which is the case with most of the stories at the moment. It can get better, but we have some long stretches to get through first.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Mummies, Demons & The Occult
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bruno Sammartino, Bill Mercer, Ed Whalen, Jim Ross, Bill Watts, Boyd Pierce, Joey Styles, Tazz

Well that’s not exactly a title I was expecting to put up but it’s Halloween season and the WWE Vault is a thing. This is one of their short form themed collections and that means we could be for just about anything. You can probably guess some of these things, but the mystery or what’s included is the fun part. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of a monster named Leviathan (with vampire fangs) walking through a cemetery and wrecking various people in OVW. He would be better known as Batista.

We go to (I’m assuming) Mid-South Wrestling with Mad Dog Buzz Sawyer messing with his own dog and writhing around in a creek with a chain around his neck. He warns the Junkyard Dog that there can be only one big dog around here.

From WWF Championship Wrestling, August 3, 1985.

Missing Link vs. Jim Londos

Bobby Heenan is here with Link and the fans are right there with the WEASEL chants. Londos’ dropkicks don’t do much good and he’s cut off with a headbutt. Link bearhugs him into the corner, where the turnbuckle breaks. We’re clipped to Link slamming the steps onto his own head as Heenan yells at him. Heenan has to stop him from ramming his head into the post as well. From what I can find, the match only ran about 1:33 and we saw 45 seconds or so. Quite the interesting choice for a cut there.

We go to a baseball stadium (this feels like Puerto Rico) and a man dressed as Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre has a chainsaw. We’re clipped to Leatherface brawling with a rather tall man and hitting something like a Randy Orton hanging DDT for the pin. This was less than a minute long.

Now we’re in a basketball arena (still looks like Puerto Rico) with Leatherface waving his chainsaw around while a masked man is in the ring. And we move on.

Gordon Solie (we’re in Florida) introduces us to a video from Kevin Sullivan as he and his Army Of Darkness stand on the beach (ah it’s this one). A shadowy man comes out of the water and comes up to Sullivan and company, with Sullivan saying that the Purple Haze is here to deal with Blackjack Mulligan and the Family. They scream a lot to wrap it up. Jim Cornette copied this pretty much step by step to introduce Leviathan to OVW.

Presumably still in Florida, Sullivan talks about people trying to come take him out but they have all been proven wrong. There is one thing left for him to find in Florida and now it is time for his team to take out Blackjack Mulligan and Superstar (I’m guessing Billy Graham). He has a special man coming to help him win the World Title.

Now we’re at ringside, with Sullivan talking about how his team has never gotten a World Title shot. He believes in his own convictions and the Chairman Of The Board (seemingly referencing Curtis Iaukea, who is here with the team) has warned him of the spiritual warfare in this world. Now he needs to control the World Title and that involves the next World Champion, Lex Luger. The interviewer doesn’t agree and Iaukea promises that these men will destroy everyone. He seemingly tries to hypnotize interviewer Buddy Colt, who wants nothing to do with this. Either way, they’re coming for Luger.

A woman is sitting on a dock with her back to us when Kevin Sullivan comes out of the water. He talks about a long swim from the river of the forgotten and he remembers that certain things can’t go together. The woman quietly chants as Sullivan talks about the fans chanting his name and thinking of…someone. Starrcade is coming and whomever he’s talking about is the one who sent him to the river of the forgotten.

It’s off to World Class, where Gary Hart introduces to the Great Kabuki. A lot of people will talk about how they’re going to hurt Kabuki but no one can beat him. Kabuki can destroy anyone and he’s here to do what Hart orders.

From sometime in World Class.

Kevin Von Erich vs. Great Kabuki

Von Erich starts fast and brawls Kabuki to the mat and they’re already on the floor. We’re clipped to Von Erich charging into a kick in the corner. Kabuki grabs a double armpit claw (apparently a thing) and Von Erich goes down. We’re clipped again to the brawl on the floor as Fritz Von Erich and Gary Hart almost get in a fight. They get back inside but here is King Kong Bunch to stomp on Fritz. The match is thrown out at 3:37 shown. I won’t be rating it due to all of the clipping, but it was the usual wildness from Dallas.

From Stampede Wrestling, we meet Zodiak (played by Barry O, as in Randy Orton’s uncle) and Jason The Terrible (a masked man who stands behind him and makes noises), with Zodiak talking about the planets and stars aligning to destroy all of the good guys.

From Stampede Wrestling, possibly on November 6, 1987.

Jason The Terrible vs. Hiroshi Hase

We’re joined in progress again with Jason hitting jumping knees to the face as commentary says he’s never seen Jason without his mask. Well then how do you know you’ve never seen him? We’re clipped to Hase grabbing a Sharpshooter but Zodiak throws powder and comes in for the DQ at 39 seconds shown.

Post match the big beatdown is on and Hase is left laying.

From ICW (the outlaw promotion in Kentucky), a voice says Radamaius is coming to take out all of the good guys around here.

It’s off to Mid-South and we see a video on Lord Humongous, who walks around a garage where a bunch of welding is taking place. We also get some clips of him squashing various people. This is definitely not Sid, but likely Jeff Van Camp, who wasn’t around long and never did anything but play Humongous. This goes on for a few minutes.

From Mid-South, likely in 1985.

Dick Murdoch vs. Lord Humongous

Murdoch gets sent down to start and hurts his elbow by elbowing Humongous’ mask. They go outside with Murdoch’s eye being busted open. Humongous sends him into the barricade and then back inside, where a cobra clutch finishes Murdoch at about 1:30 shown. Total decimation.

From Memphis, we meet Kamala (without a lot of the face paint) in a video narrated like a nature documentary (and shot in Jerry Jarrett’s backyard).

From Mid-South, possibly October 2, 1982.

Kamala vs. Tim Horner

Kamala chops him down to start and sends Horner flying with a choke toss. The splash finishes Horner at 45 seconds.

From some other time in Mid-South, Kamala breaks a 2×4 over Andre The Giant’s back and slams him without much trouble.

In Smoky Mountain Wrestling Prince Kharis (the wrestling mummy (it was the financial backer’s idea)) squashes Tim Horner. After the match, the Dirty White Boy comes in with a chair and Kharis shrugs it off.

Later, Darryl Van Horne (the future Sinister Minister/James Vanderberg) cuts off Kharis’ finger to show that the White Boy can’t hurt him.

And finally, from the debut of ECW On Sci-Fi, June 13, 2006.

Sandman vs. The Zombie

Zombie grunts a lot, Sandman canes him down and hits the White Russian Legsweep to win at 16 seconds. I knew this was going to be on here and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Overall Rating: C. See, this is what makes the Vault fun. Rather than doing the absolute run of the mill stuff like Undertaker, Kane, the Yeti and goofs like Mantaur, they actually looked into the depths and came up with some really cool stuff. The action wasn’t the point here, but rather a bunch of wacky things that only make sense in wrestling. It was short, to the point, and rather entertaining without overstaying its welcome. In other words, it was perfect for Halloween, save for maybe a bit too much Kevin Sullivan.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 22, 2008
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on No Mercy, and as has been the case in recent months, Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho is absolutely carrying the show. Now we’re coming up on a ladder match for Jericho’s World Title at the pay per view, which should be a great way to go. As a bonus, this is the 800th episode so expect some celebration. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Chris Jericho to get things going, with the World Title above the ring and a ladder between them. Jericho climbs the ladder and sits on top with a smirk before saying Shawn Michaels is trying to rewrite history. Michaels has convinced Mike Adamle to make their match at No Mercy a ladder match. The dumb fans are going along with Michaels’ claims of revolutionizing the ladder match, even though Michaels can lie.

The truth is that Jericho has won a lot more titles and high profile ladder matches than Michaels could ever hope to. At No Mercy, all you’ll see is this, and he pulls the title down. Jericho is going to leave as champion because he’s just too good. Cue Randy Orton of all people to interrupt, saying it doesn’t matter who wins at No Mercy, because they’ll be champion on borrowed time. Jericho threatens to hit him in the mouth, but Orton isn’t worried because he’s still protected, meaning anyone who touches him is suspended. Orton says he gets what he wants, but Jericho says he gets the same and tells Orton to get well soon.

With Jericho done, Orton says he’ll be champion soon and throws the ladder into the aisle. Cue a ticked off CM Punk to go nose to nose with Orton and then hit him in the face. Mike Adamle runs out and suspends him…which brings out Shane McMahon of all people. After the usual dancing, McMahon says Punk gave Orton “a receipt” but he’s here for something else. Punk’s suspension is lifted, though no one can touch Orton going forward. As for tonight, we’ll also have Michaels/Batista vs. JBL/Jericho. For now though, Punk can have a match of his own.

CM Punk vs. Cody Rhodes

They fight over a lockup to start with Rhodes grabbing a headlock, only to get hit in the face and dropped. Rhodes manages to send him outside so Punk fires off a hard kick to the chest. Back in and Punk rolls through a high crossbody for two but gets whipped hard into the corner. Rhodes has to bail out from a GTS attempt though and we take a quick break. We come back with Rhodes working on Punk’s leg, which is reversed into an ankle lock. Rhodes makes the rope so Punk strikes away, followed by the running knee in the corner. The GTS finishes Rhodes off.

Rating: C+. Rhodes is still figuring out the being a top level guy and he has almost no experience in being a singles star either. That being said, it helps to be out there against someone like Punk, who can work well with anyone. That’s what we got here and it made for a nice match as Punk is on his revenge tour against Orton and company.

Post match Ted DiBiase and Manu run in for the beatdown but Kofi Kingston makes the save.

Smackdown Rebound.

Shane McMahon is in Mike Adamle’s office when Kane comes in. Kane wants Rey Mysterio and gets him at No Mercy. That makes Kane laugh, and he tells Shane to say hi to his mom. Adamle doesn’t know the story so Shane explains the whole thing in one of those “this only works in wrestling” moments.

Beth Phoenix, with Santino Marella, yells at Kelly Kelly about laughing at the injured Marella. For some reason Marella mocks Batista, who pops up to scare him off. Phoenix warns Kane not to interfere, or Marella will beat him up.

Here is Santino Marella to announce that he is only 59 weeks behind the Honky Tonk Man’s record…and he’s interrupted by a surprise name.

Santino Marella vs. Deuce

Non-title. Marella says this is what he’ll do to Batista, so watch what he does to Fonzie over here. Deuce hammers away at Marella’s masked face and knocks him down for a quick two. Marella is back up with an accidental headbutt to stagger Deuce and a sunset flip gets the fast pin.

Post match Beth Phoenix comes out to check on Marella.

Rey Mysterio wishes Evan Bourne good luck.

Evan Bourne vs. Kane

Yeah Bourne might need it. Bourne fires off some forearms to start but can only get so far as Kane hits him in the face. A crucifix attempt is cut off with a punch to the face (there’s always something about keeping it that simple) but Bourne avoids a big boot. Bourne sends him outside for a moonsault so Kane drops him with a pop up uppercut. An Oklahoma Stampede of all things drops Bourne and the chokeslam finishes him off.

Rating: C+. That’s all this needed to be as Bourne was able to do his thing for a bit, only to get destroyed by Kane, as he should have been. Kane is warming up by destroying another cruiserweight, but Mysterio is different enough to make it interesting. They were also smart enough to keep it short, which makes this a rather nice piece of business.

Post match Kane stays on Bourne but Mysterio comes out for the save. That means Kane gets to beat him down as well, as a monster tends to do. Kane says Mysterio is just like everyone else.

Jamie Noble asks Shane McMahon for a rematch against William Regal but Dolph Ziggler comes in to introduce himself again. Randy Orton comes in and doesn’t like CM Punk’s suspension being lifted and they compare family histories.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Non-title and Santino Marella is here with Phoenix. Kelly gets powered into the corner but comes out working on the arm. A bouncy armdrag out of the corner drops Phoenix, who buckle bombs her right back into the corner. Phoenix works on the arm a bit but Kelly is right back with the clothesline into the middle rope crossbody. Marella’s distraction doesn’t exactly work though as Kelly gets the rollup pin for the upset.

Rating: C. It was more of an angle than a match but what matters is Kelly is feeling like someone who is a bit more than the usual Diva. Both the Raw and Smackdown women have made some strides in recent weeks and it’s nice to see the efforts paying off. We’ll have to see how it goes, but at least they’re actually having serious matches for once. That’s so nice to see after the drek that they had been doing for so long.

Post match the villains go after Kelly but Batista comes out for the save. Marella ACTUALLY HITS him and…well you can probably guess.

We recap the Dirt Sheet (Miz/John Morrison) vs. Word Up (Cryme Tyme) in a battle of web series. Naturally this resulted in Miz and Morrison doing a rap video, because what else could it result in? Morrison: “You’re not street Shad. I met your dad. He wears a sweater vest.” The Dirt Sheet was absolutely hysterical at times and it won here hands down.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Cryme Tyme

Morrison and JTG start things off, with Morrison mocking JTG’s dancing, which is really not that nice. That earns him a right hand, which allows JTG to dance a bit more (as you might have expected). Morrison comes in and gets hit in the face as well, allowing Gaspard to come in and clean house. A big boot drops Miz and JTG drops both villains on the floor as we take a break. We come back with JTG fighting out of an armbar and getting two off a rollup.

Miz is right back with the corner clothesline into the chinlock before pulling JTG into the corner. Morrison takes him down and grabs the chinlock, allowing Cole to talk about how many pyro displays the show has had throughout its history. Is that really supposed to be impressive? I know it’s one of those factoid things, but come on. JTG fights up and dives over for the tag, allowing Gaspard to come in with a powerslam. Everything breaks down and Morrison pulls JTG outside, leaving Miz to roll Gaspard up for two. Gaspard gets two off a suplex, but Morrison kicks him in the back of the head to give Miz the cheating pin.

Rating: C+. They could only do so much here, but at the end of the day, the only thing that mattered here was the pre-match stuff. This is the kind of feud that is going to get over based on everything with the microphones and the wrestling is secondary. That’s a fine way to go and thankfully the match was good enough, even with a kind of weak finish.

Chris Jericho, with Lance Cade, comes in to see Mike Adamle and suggests that Shane McMahon has ulterior motives. He has an idea for the main event, which we don’t get to hear.

No Mercy rundown.

Earlier today, Charlie Haas was at Dave And Busters and did some less than successful versions of Perfect’s sports bits. Ok that’s clever. Oh and get the new Mr. Perfect DVD.

Chris Jericho/John Bradshaw Layfield/Lance Cade vs. Batista/Shawn Michaels

So there’s the idea. Cade and Michaels start things off with Michaels yelling a lot before hammering away in the corner. Michaels pounds him down again but JBL gets in a cheap shot from behind so Jericho can come in to hammer away. A belly to back suplex sets up a chinlock, followed by an enziguri. JBL adds a neckbreaker and we hit the abdominal stretch to keep Michaels in trouble.

Cade comes in to choke in the corner before it’s right back to JBL for a big boot. The fall away slam is countered into a DDT though and they’re both down. The tag brings in Batista to clean house, including a powerslam to Jericho. Michaels comes back in but has to break out of a Walls attempt. Batista spears JBL down on the floor to even things up a bit. Jericho bulldogs Michaels but misses the Lionsault, allowing Michaels to beat on Cade. The threat of the superkick sends Jericho outside but Cade hits a sitout Rock Bottom to pin Michaels.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty standard match and that worked well enough, as it boosts up both matches for No Mercy. There’s something rather nice about putting two stories together into one, especially when they’re pretty much the only things going on with this show. It’s not a good sign when most of the show is in one match, but it got the job done.

Overall Rating: C. The main event summarized the whole show, as Michaels vs. Jericho is the only thing that really matters, with Batista vs. JBL a rather distant second. Shane McMahon being back is a good thing though, as Adamle being around is just so dull. I get that’s the point, but it’s only going to work for so long. Other than that, the only interesting part was the Dirt Sheet, which isn’t even part of the show. Not great stuff overall, but Michaels vs. Jericho certainly is.

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 15, 2008
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re on the way to No Mercy and that means it’s time to start putting the card together. In this case that means figuring out what is coming, though the Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels feud should give you a pretty good idea. First though, Jericho has to get through CM Punk in a steel cage. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The cage is lowered.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is defending in a cage with pinfall, submission or escape to win. Punk hammers away to start fast and whips Jericho into the corner, allowing Jericho to try a quick escape. That’s immediately cut off so Punk goes up, with Jericho pulling him back down. The running knee and bulldog look to set up the GTS but Jericho makes the rope. Punk is fine enough to send him into the cage and we take a break.

We come back with Jericho holding an ankle lock of all things before switching to the Walls. Punk’s crawl gets his hands and a leg out of the cage but Jericho pulls him back in and slams the door on Punk’s head. The Lionsault hits a raised knee though and Punk kicks him down, only to miss a running knee in the corner.

They fight onto the top of the cage and then crash back down to give Punk two. Jericho sends him into the cage and goes up, with Punk grabbing an electric chair for the big crash back down. Punk goes for the door but Jericho dives at him and winds up on the apron. A headbutt staggers Jericho…and he falls out to retain the title in a bit of a call back to Muraco vs. Snuka.

Rating: B. Good, hard hitting fight here as Jericho escapes again, with Punk basically beating himself. It’s a clever way to keep both of them going, as Punk got his rematch and didn’t so much get beaten as much as Jericho got lucky. At the same time, Jericho gets to move on, likely to his next showdown with Shawn Michaels.

Batista is watching.

Mike Adamle is talking to Kelly Kelly in the back when some annoying guy comes in to introduce himself. Dolph Ziggler or something. With that out of the way, Chris Jericho comes in and Adamle says it’s time to focus on No Mercy. Jericho doesn’t like that and says Adamle needs to take care of him better, even offering to explain it in his office.

Kane is in a mask but explains that he had to remove it. That was for all of the people but it got him nothing. Now people ridicule him and he doesn’t like that. He wants to hurt Rey Mysterio, who doesn’t have the courage to unmask. Everyone wears a mask because they don’t like themselves. When he attacked Mysterio, he was attacking everyone. Evan Bourne comes in and says he wants to see Mysterio beat Kane. That doesn’t seem to bother Kane, who laughs a lot.

Candice Michelle vs. Jillian Hall

Hall sings some Elvis on her way to the ring and after the break, cranking up the shrieking extra high this week. Beth Phoenix is here to watch as well. Michelle grabs a quickly broken headlock to start and is promptly planted hard. Hall pulls on the hair to keep Michelle down and we hit the full nelson. Michelle fights up and jumps over her in the corner, hitting a kind of Edge-O-Matic (nice) for two. The Candywrapper finishes Hall off.

Rating: C-. The Edge-O-Matic was nice and you can see that Michelle is trying, but it’s still only getting her so far. I’ll certainly take someone at least trying to get better though and Michelle is doing just that, which is partially why she’s getting the attention. WWE is trying to find someone new for the women’s division so they might as well try it with Michelle.

Post match Phoenix comes after Michelle and gets dropkicked.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Tommy Dreamer

JBL slams him down and drops an elbow, followed by a big boot. Dreamer gets a boot of his own up in the corner and grabs a neckbreaker, only to walk into the Clothesline From JBL for the fast pin.

Post match JBL says he isn’t leaving the ring until he talks to Mike Adamle. Post break JBL is still waiting and explaining that he should be #1 contender but gets Randy Orton instead. Orton talks about his recent champions evaluation, which is why he cost CM Punk the World Title. JBL isn’t much of an upgrade, though Orton’s shoulder is almost better and he’s coming for the title. Then there will be a champion on Raw with some credibility…so cue Santino Marella and Beth Phoenix.

Marella mocks Orton for being hurt all the time, just like his dad. On the other hand, Marella’s father is always healthy! Except for having herpes. Orton: “You expect me to respond to that?” JBL wants an apology from Orton because JBL knocked Batista out cold with one shot last week. Cue Batista to interrupt, quoting Barack Obama to suggest that Phoenix is a pig. Marella says Phoenix squeals but Batista promises to beat all of them up. Marella: “Aren’t you forgetting someone?”

Batista apologizes and offers Phoenix a title shot when he gets the belt back too. Mike Adamle pops up on screen to say he’ll make his official decision on a #1 contender later tonight. Batista takes out JBL and Marella but Phoenix slaps him in the face. That earns her a spinebuster onto Marella

In the back, Orton passes Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase and Manu, with some glares being exchanged.

Kofi Kingston/Jerry Lawler/Charlie Haas vs. Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase/Manu

Haas is Jim Ross this week so naturally he’s fat, talks about football, and pitches barbecue sauce. And yes, the fans are quiet for the dumb joke. Kingston headlocks Manu to start before slipping out of a slam and hitting a dropkick. Rhodes comes in and gets dragged into the corner for the tag to Lawler (the fans still like him), who fires off some dropkicks.

Rhodes knocks him down though and grabs the chinlock, only for Lawler to fight up and bring Haas in for some snap jabs. Everything breaks down and Haas hits a splash as everything breaks down. DiBiase avoids a charge into the corner and the cobra clutch Russian legsweep finishes fast.

Rating: C-. Hey did you know that WWE likes to make fun of Jim Ross every single chance they get? It’s the most one note joke imaginable in this situation and that’s not something you want to see. Well unless you’re Vince McMahon of course, which is why this kept happening. The match was just a way to get Lawler on the show, which was fine, though the fans’ lack of a response to Haas as Ross told you all you needed to know.

Smackdown Rebound.

JBL comes in to see Chris Jericho, who cuts him off and brings up JBL costing him the World Title last year. Jericho brings up the impending stock market crash and brags about being the champion. No, he won’t put a good word in for JBL to get the title shot.

Jamie Noble vs. Paul Burchill

Katie Lea is here with Burchill. Noble stomps him down to start fast but gets uppercutted into the corner. Back up and Noble slingshots into a cross armbreaker for the fast tap.

Post match Layla comes out to apologize for last week. She’s so sorry for taking that long to get away from Noble, because now she has found a man worthy of her. This brings out William Regal, who says Layla wanted nobility rather than Noble.

Lance Cade is meeting with Mike Adamle when Batista comes in, wanting to be #1 contender. Cade says Batista isn’t #1 contender and gets slammed into a wall.

Kane vs. Rey Mysterio

Kane throws him into the corner for a right hand to start before pulling a springboard hurricanrana out of the air. Mysterio slips out but is quickly choked on the rope to stop that just as fast. We take an early break and come back with Mysterio fighting out of a chinlock The elbow misses for Kane and Mysterio hammers away in the corner, only to be sent back first into the post.

Kane stomps him down in the corner but misses a charge, allowing Mysterio to hit the sitout bulldog. Mysterio sends him into the corner and hits the enziguri to set up the 619. That’s cut off with a hard clothesline and Kane stomps away in the corner….for the DQ, as Mysterio manages to survive.

Rating: C. This wasn’t some big epic showdown but it wasn’t supposed to be. What matters is having Mysterio back in the ring so he can fight back against Kane, though he’s probably going to need some help. For now though, it’s the start of what will likely be a bigger story, as WWE would never pull the plug on Kane being a monster or anything.

Post match Kane stays on Mysterio until Evan Bourne runs in for the save.

Dolph Ziggler introduces himself to Chris Jericho and Lance Cade but only gets a handshake from the latter.

Here are Jericho and Cade in the arena for the announcement of the next #1 contender. Jericho talks about how neither JBL nor Batista are worthy of a title shot, so they should face off at No Mercy and he gets the winner immediately thereafter. That’s two matches for one of them but that’s how he won the title at Unforgiven. Cue Mike Adamle to say he thinks that’s fair and they will have a #1 contenders match and will face the champion in the future.

Jericho asks what he means by “the champion” because he’ll be the champion. Actually hang on though, as there is someone else who has pitched a title shot, which he will receive at No Mercy. Cue Shawn Michaels, who says they have fought in a variety of matches, so what else can they do to each other? There is one more that he can do and it will allow him to hurt Jericho and win the title. He asks some people to help him out so they bring in a ladder, with Michaels climbing up to make the match official to end the show. Yeah I’d say that works.

Overall Rating: C+. The whole point of this show was setting up a title match at No Mercy and while Michaels was the fairly obvious pick, they did a nice job of setting him up as something of a surprise at the end. Throwing in the ladder matkes it even better and it should be a heck of a match. The rest of the show was the hit and miss stuff you expect from Raw, but the cage match and closing segments made it work well enough.

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Best Of Umaga
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Todd Grisham

I’m not sure why Umaga is getting a special look on the Vault but that’s kind of the point of the thing. Umaga wasn’t around for very long when you really look at it but he certainly made an impact. He’s the kind of monster who can smash through some people and that is what we are going to be seeing here. Let’s get to it.

Quick opening video, which is just some basic highlights.

From Cyber Sunday 2006.

Kane vs. Umaga

Kane won the spot here by dominating a fan vote (49%) over Sandman (28%) and Chris Benoit (23%). Armando Alejandro Estrada is here with Umaga as Kane slugs away to start. A headbutt gets Umaga out of trouble but Kane is back with more uppercuts. Umaga goes with the power off a belly to belly and a spinwheel kick cuts Kane down again. Kane tries to fight back again and is quickly taken down with a faceplant. Some big chops in the corner wake Kane up so Umaga rakes his eyes.

The middle rope headbutt gets two and the running Umaga Attack connects, with Kane rolling outside. The Samoan Spike only hits post though and Umaga is in trouble for a change. Back in and Kane rains down rights and lefts (so you know it’s serious) in the corner. Umaga is right back with a Samoan drop and that’s enough for Estrada to load up the victory cigar. That takes too long though as Kane sits up and avoids a charge into the post. Kane goes up but has to kick Estrada down, allowing Umaga to knock him out of the air. The Samoan Spike finishes Kane at 8:37.

Rating: C-. Not a great match here, but rather just kind of dull. Kane was fighting back against the monster but could only get so far, which is why Umaga felt like a different kind of heel. He was out there smashing through other monsters and that made him dangerous. It was a fairly run of the mill match, though the ending was how it should have gone.

From New Year’s Revolution 2007.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga

Umaga, with Estrada, is challenging. Some early right hands make Umaga mad but Cena avoids a few charges, including sending Umaga flying over the top. Estrada has to calm him down and apparently it works, as Cena’s charge is cut off and he gets tossed outside. Back in and Cena tries to fight back but gets dropped with a screaming clothesline (Umaga likes to scream).

They go outside again, with Cena being sent into the steps and the then announcers’ table (JR: “WE’VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS TONIGHT!”). Back in and Cena avoids a sitdown splash but falls down on a slam attempt for the big crash. A neck snap across the top gives Cena a breather but his high crossbody is countered into a swinging Rock Bottom. Cena manages a Throwback, only to get blasted with a running spinwheel kick (that looked great).

Umaga sits down on Cena’s chest but a raised knee cuts him off for the needed breather. Cena tries the FU and Umaga crashes down onto him for the next big failure. The nerve hold goes on for a good while and Cena’s comeback is cut off with a hard elbow to the face. The middle rope headbutt misses though and Cena sends him head first into the post.

Somehow Cena manages a ProtoBomb into the Shuffle (with a woman in the second or so row absolutely losing her mind at the comeback). Umaga is back up with a belly to belly and ties Cena in the Tree Of Woe, meaning the running headbutt can connect. The running Umaga Attack is cut off by some raised boots though and Cena grabs a rollup for the fluke pin at 17:21.

Rating: B. It takes a lot to make Cena feel like a dramatic underdog but they pulled it off here. Cena was having to fight from underneath throughout and absolutely felt like he escaped rather than winning, which made for a good story. Usually you would expect Cena to make the big power comeback but instead he had to steal a rollup. That makes Umaga feel so much more dangerous and I liked what we got here.

From Royal Rumble 2007.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga

Umaga, again with Estrada, is challenging and this is Last Man Standing. Cena, with taped up ribs (the calling card of a champion against a monster) slugs away to start until Umaga wisely goes right to the ribs. They go to the floor fast with Cena being whipped into the steps but manages to fight back in the aisle. Umaga isn’t having any of that and hits a hard clothesline back inside.

The steps are brought in but Cena knocks Umaga off the apron and THROWS THE STEPS AT HIS FACE for the huge crash. Back in and Umaga hits the spinwheel kick to drop Cena again but it’s still not even close to the ten count. The bearhug goes on for a bit before Umaga grabs the steps again. The running Umaga Attack misses Cena but hits the steps, allowing Cena to blast him with the steps for a change.

Umaga beats the count and is fine enough to hit the swinging Rock Bottom. Some cannonballs down onto the ribs have Cena in trouble but, just like last time, he gets the knees up for the low blow counter. The Throwback and ProtoBomb onto the steps have Umaga down and the Shuffle connects as well. Also like last time though, Umaga crashes down onto him on the FU attempt, this time sending Cena into the steps.

Cena gets up but is busted open, earning another knockdown for eight. The fired up comeback is cut off with a scary Samoan drop (with Cena half landing on his head) but the Samoan Spike is cut off. Umaga ties him in the Tree Of Woe but the running headbutt misses this time. Cena’s top rope Fameasser connects and he sends Umaga into the post for a crash. One heck of a monitor shot to the head knocks Umaga silly but he gets up again.

Cena gets knocked onto the announcers’ table and Umaga gets a running start for the missed splash. That’s good for nine and Cena looks crushed at the match continuing. Estrada uses the distraction to unhook a turnbuckle (as in the full thing rather than just the pad) and the top rope falls down. The turnbuckle to the face is countered into an FU though and Cena hits him with the turnbuckle. Cena gets creative by using the ring rope for an STFU to choke Umaga out….then has to do it again to retain at 23:12.

Rating: A-. Oh now this was WAY better, with Cena having to go into full on Superman mode to win a slugout against this kind of a monster. You don’t see Cena get to that level very often but dang it’s a special thing to see when it happens. Outstanding match here and pretty easily the best of Umaga’s career.

From Raw, February 19, 2007.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

Umaga, with Estrada, is challenging and we’re joined in progress with Hardy hitting some dropkicks through the ropes. The dive is pulled out of the air but Hardy manages to post him. Hardy’s run across the barricade is cut off with a shot out of the air and they head back inside.

A big leg gets two on Hardy as commentary hypes up the Battle Of The Billionaires at Wrestlemania. The nerve hold goes on for a bit but Umaga misses the middle rope headbutt. Umaga misses a splash in the corner and the Whisper In The Wind connects. Hardy charges into the Samoan drop though and the running Umaga Attack crushes Hardy. The Samoan Spike gives Umaga the pin and the title at 5:46 shown.

Rating: C. This was more of a surprise than anything else, as Umaga absorbed the big stuff that Hardy threw at him and then smashed through him for the title. While going from Cena down to the Intercontinental Title is something of a fall, Umaga did look like a killer out there. That’s going to make for a good chance for someone to take his title, and that’s why you give a monster like him the belt.

From Summerslam 2007.

Intercontinental Title: Carlito vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Umaga

Umaga (having eaten Estrada somewhere along the line) is defending. Kennedy tries to tease the alliance to start and is knocked down just as fast. Umaga wrecks both of them, with Kennedy being sent outside, where he cuts off the running Umaga Attack. Carlito knocks Umaga outside and Kennedy kicks him into the steps. Back in and Carlito’s rollup with ropes gets two on Kennedy, who is right back with a Stroke to put Carlito down.

Umaga pulls Kennedy outside though and decks Carlito, only to miss a charge into the corner. Kennedy blasts him with a monitor and it’s time for the challengers to double team the monster. That’s broken up with a double suplex and Umaga smashes through both of them without much trouble. The running Umaga Attack hits Carlito but Kennedy low bridges Umaga to the floor. That doesn’t work for Umaga though, who is right back in with the Samoan Spike to retain at 7:25.

Rating: C+. Kennedy and Carlito felt like planes shooting at King Kong but instead of shooting him down, he crushed them up and put them on a pizza. Neither of them felt like any kind of a serious threat to take the belt, but Umaga had lost enough on the big stages already. Letting him win a match like this was the right call, as he looked liked the definitively better monster.

From Cyber Sunday 2007.

Umaga vs. HHH

Street Fight (57%), which beat Steel Cage (26%) and First Blood (You should be able to do the math to figure out what this is.). If nothing else, we have the awesome keyboard entrance set, which features prominently as the fight starts up on the stage. An early Pedigree attempt is cut off and they fight to the entrance, with HHH knocking him through a wall.

The brawl goes into the crowd and Umaga misses a charge over the barricade, allowing HHH to take over. They get inside for the first time with Umaga again missing a splash into the corner, allowing HHH to go find a trashcan. That takes too long though and Umaga drops him again, setting up a splash for two. A bearhug and belly to belly suplex stay on the bad ribs and the running Umaga Attack stays on…well just about everything else really.

Umaga grabs a chair but gets low blowed a few times, followed by a DDT onto the chair for two. That’s shrugged off as Umaga hits the swinging release Rock Bottom as they go outside. HHH ducks a chair shot but gets knocked over the announcers’ table. The big running splash sends HHH through the table for the huge crash. Back in and the top rope headbutt misses so HHH grabs the sledgehammer, which is knocked away. The Samoan Spike misses and HHH sledgehammers him in the head. The Pedigree finishes Umaga off at 17:20.

Rating: C+. And we’re right back to the run of the mill stuff here, as this was as by the book of a street fight as you could ask. HHH was getting back into the main event scene and needed to go over someone like Umaga to help him get there. This was a basic formula for a match and while it wasn’t bad, it never came close to being anything special.

From Raw, January 7, 2008.

Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

Hardy’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line and this is in a cage. Randy Orton (facing Hardy at the Royal Rumble) comes out to watch and Hardy hammers away to start. Umaga runs him over with the raw power and sends him flying into the cage. Back up and Hardy tries to escape but Umaga slams him down for a crash and we take a break.

We come back with Hardy having to fight out of a nerve hold but getting sent into the cage. Umaga crashes into Hardy against the cage for two so Orton throws in some chairs. A big shot to the back puts Hardy down, but he’s able to crotch Umaga on top. The running Umaga Attack misses and Hardy kicks him into the corner. A DDT onto an open chair knocks Umaga silly for two, leaving both of them down. Hardy goes for the door but Orton slams it on his head. The Samoan Spike is countered into the Twist Of Fate so Hardy goes to the top of the cage and hits THE BIGGEST WHISPER IN THE WIND EVER to pin Umaga at 14:32.

Rating: B-. I understand why this was involved, but this was ALL about Hardy, with the finish being one of the coolest things you’ll see on Raw. It made me wonder what Hardy was going to jump off of to beat Orton at the Rumble and that’s a special feeling. The match itself was just ok, but my goodness what a finish.

From Wrestlemania XXIV.

Batista vs. Umaga

This is Smackdown vs. Raw for brand supremacy or whatever they’re calling it this time. They slug it out to start and Batista is sent to the floor. Back in and Umaga hits a spinwheel kick to rock Batista again. Another trip to the floor lets Umaga beat on him some more and the nerve hold goes on.

Batista avoids the middle rope headbutt but gets knocked down again, setting up another nerve hold. Umaga’s Samoan drop gets two but the Samoan Spike is blocked. Batista sends him into the post, hits a spinebuster and finishes with the Batista Bomb (falling down in the process) at 7:04.

Rating: D. This has to be up there with the all time biggest Wrestlemania disappointments, as what should have been a big power brawl wound up being a boring house show match where they both wanted to beat the traffic. Batista falling down at the end summed it up really well as it capped off the whole mess. Terrible match and a big letdown.

From Judgment Day 2009.

Umaga vs. CM Punk

We’re in Chicago (close enough) here so Punk is even more over then usual. Umaga throws him around to start and Punk can’t do much with the power early on. Punk gets whipped hard into the corner and the nerve hold goes on. Umaga crashes down onto the ribs but Punk raises his feet for a shot to the jaw. Punk tries a slam and collapses (of course), meaning we’re back to the nerve hold. Another comeback attempt is cut off with a shot to the face but Umaga misses the middle rope headbutt (AGAIN).

That’s enough for Punk to send him outside for a dive, followed by the strikes back inside. A running kick to the face staggers Umaga and he misses the splash in the corner. Another splash connects but the running Umaga Attack doesn’t. Punk’s middle rope bulldog gets two but he walks into a Samoan drop for two. The GTS doesn’t work either and it’s the running Umaga Attack into the Samoan Spike for the pin on Punk at 11:53.

Rating: C+. It’s nice to see Umaga get one last big win, as he would be gone from the promotion in less than a month and dead by the end of the year. Umaga was in a weird point here as he was still a good monster but there was a firm ceiling to how far he was going to go. The match was set up for Punk to come back and win a rematch, which is exactly what wound up happening.

Overall Rating: B-. Umaga was an interesting case as he was as general of a wrestling trope as you could get, but dang did he do it well. You knew pretty much exactly what you were going to get with him every time he was out there but it still wound up being a success. Unfortunately drug issues took him down, though I’m not sure how much higher he could have gone.

This is the kind of thing I want from the Vault though, as it’s something that you would not get anywhere else and it had WWE’s awesome production behind it. Good, interesting look at a cool star, and thankfully they ignored the overdone Battle Of The Billionaires (possibly for obvious reasons).

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6