IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: July 21, 2005
Location: First Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for the Great American Bash and that means things are mostly set in stone. There are a lot of things that can be built up a bit better though and Sunday’s show could use a bit of that. The show isn’t looking too bad aside from the main event, which is little more than a way for Batista to get his first title defense as Smackdown Champion. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video is paid for by Friends Of JBL. Everything started for him last year and now it’s time for him to get the title back. Tonight, we get his victory celebration for Sunday’s title victory.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio vs. Super Crazy

The other Mexicools are at ringside too. Rey starts fast with an armdrag and it’s off to a test of strength, which always looks strange from smaller guys. Rey grabs a headscissors but gets dropkicked right back down for two. The threat of a 619 puts Crazy on the floor so he comes back in refreshed and grabs a spinebuster. Crazy stomps away in the corner until Rey manages to send him shoulder first into the post…and here’s Eddie Guerrero.

Back from a break with Eddie on commentary and Rey hammering away in the corner. Eddie uses the time to explain that he’s just doing all this because he loves Rey. Crazy sends Rey out of the corner and the waistlock goes on. As Eddie gets angrier and angrier, Crazy grabs the Rocking Horse to work on all the limbs. That’s broken up so Crazy puts on a seated abdominal stretch.

With that not lasting long, they chop it out as Eddie talks about being the man of the house. The springboard spinning crossbody gives Rey two and a headscissors into the corner is good for the same. Another springboard is broken up though and Crazy gets two off a springboard moonsault. Rey is right back with a headscissors into 619 position, drawing Eddie in with a rake (stolen from Psicosis) to Rey’s back for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was long but they did the smart thing by not having either of them take a fall. They seem to have plans for the Mexicools so having them lose this early would be a bad idea. Eddie was going even crazier on commentary and it makes the heel turn work that much more. He can be all sinister in his regular promos but now he’s breaking down into just pure obsession and madness.

Post break Eddie is going to leave but Theodore Long says not so fast. Eddie is wrestling tonight against a mystery opponent.

Christian brags about beating Booker T. last week and promises to beat him again on Sunday. If Josh Matthews doesn’t like it, go back to his parent’s house and his basement room and complain about it on the internet. Booker is going to be a two time two time loser.

Heidenreich reads Animal a poem about feeling Hawk’s presence and how big of a chance this is. Animal says Heidenreich is more like Hawk than he thought. Heidenreich: “What a rush.” Oh give me a break.

JBL is a Great American. Like Neil Armstrong.

Animal/Heidenreich vs. Nick Berk/Julio Dinero

Powerslam and Doomsday Device finish in thirty seconds. MNM is shown panicking in the back.

Raw Rebound.

Eddie Guerrero vs. ???

It’s…..Chris Benoit, because that’s as much of a guaranteed good match as you can get. Before the match, Eddie tries to run so Benoit calls him in, saying they’ve been close friends for years. Eddie gets back in and decks Benoit to start in a hurry. A chair is brought in but the referee takes it away, only to have Eddie kick Benoit low for an early two. Eddie’s boot rake over the face but Benoit snaps off a German suplex as we take a break.

Back with Eddie wrapping the knee around the post and sending him face first into the announcers’ table. Eddie cranks on the leg and puts on a leglock, sending Benoit rolling over to the ropes. Benoit fights up and tries the Sharpshooter but the knee gives out. That means the leglock goes right back on so Benoit makes it to the ropes again, though a bit more slowly this time.

Eddie goes up but gets headbutted and superplexed back down, with Benoit busted open after the headbutts. Being the smart villain, Eddie kicks at the cut but Benoit snaps off the rolling German suplex for a double knockdown. The Swan Dive gets a delayed two with Eddie getting a boot on the rope. Back up and Eddie tries the Three Amigos, only to get reversed into the Crossface. Eddie is in the ropes within about two seconds….and takes the countout.

Rating: B. That’s about the standard for these two as they don’t know how to have a bad match. They’re one of the best pairings you can find and it was no exception here. This was the second match in a row where you don’t want either of them taking a fall so it was the right way to go. I could get used to this thinking things through concept.

Post match Rey jumps Eddie and beats him up on the stage.

We look back at Undertaker beating up Muhammad Hassan’s attorney last week.

Here’s Candice Michelle for a special announcement: the Great American Bash will be available for free to the military. Yeah we already knew that. Cue Melina, who isn’t happy that Candice is guest referee for Melina vs. Torrie Wilson on Sunday. Melina doesn’t like Candice and goes for her clothes, only to have Torrie run in for the save. Candice is so humiliated that she dances a bit.

Video on the Great American Bash press conference.

Booker T. vs. Simon Dean

Simon says Sharmell goes to the buffet line five times, five times, five times, five times, five times and the beating is on in a hurry. Booker doesn’t waste time and punches, kicks and kicks some more, setting up the ax kick for the pin in a hurry.

Post match Booker says Christian is just like that Richard Simmons Tae Bo wannabe.

JBL is a Great American. Like Ronald Reagan.

The Boogeyman is coming.

Long video on Guerrero vs. Mysterio.

Great American Bash rundown, with the Blue World Order vs. the Mexicools added.

It’s time for JBL’s victory celebration, meaning the ring is covered in red, white and blue. Orlando Jordan handles the introduction and the confetti cannons go off. JBL looks like Uncle Sam/Apollo Creed and comes to the ring in an open topped Cadillac just to complete the visual. He talks about some great Americans and brags about how awesome America is.

We take over countries because we can and because we should, since might has always been right. We do give to the poor nations who need a handout, but some Americans are weak. Like Batista, who ran away from JBL at Wrestlemania like a coward. JBL isn’t happy about Batista being on the cover of Smackdown Magazine. This is his show, but don’t worry because next month, there will be a new issue on the newsstand.

We see a new cover, with JBL holding the title over a fallen Batista. On Sunday, Batista is getting put down because there are legends and Hall of Famers, but there is only one wrestling god. Cue Batista to call JBL out for looking like an idiot. Batista calls him a phony and a bully so on Sunday, JBL is getting exposed. The fight is on and Batista cleans house, including putting on the Uncle Sam hat and jacket to end the show. They’re trying to do something with this, but JBL is little more than target practice for Batista and Guerrero vs. Mysterio is the real main event and they aren’t trying to hide it.

Overall Rating: C-. This show ran into the problem of not being able to do anything else with Mysterio vs. Guerrero. The story has been set up for a few weeks now and there isn’t anything left for them to do with it. Batista vs. JBL isn’t doing anything for me, but Christian vs. Booker should be good and…..yeah two matches are enough to carry a show, right? Not a great show here, but Eddie vs Benoit got us far enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: July 14, 2005
Location: DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Things got a lot more interesting/controversial last week with the whole Muhammad Hassan/Undertaker situation. I’m not sure how they can follow up on that given all of the fallout that comes from it but it should be interesting. We are also ten days away from the Great American Bash, which doesn’t have much of a card yet. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Batista vs. JBL, which doesn’t exactly make me think the title is in jeopardy. This also means another look at the Blue Meanie beating JBL, which somehow wasn’t the most interesting thing that happened last week.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Eddie Guerrero to get things going. After taking a few minutes to soak in some hatred, Eddie says Rey Mysterio isn’t here tonight. See, Rey thought that he was going to be able to avoid being humiliated tonight by not being here, but that’s not how it works. All that matters is that Eddie knows something Rey wants to keep from everyone from knowing. We see a clip of Eddie making Rey beg him for mercy last week. Eddie: “You should have seen what I planned out for this week!” Eddie isn’t done yet though because he wants to talk to Rey’s son Dominick.

After ordering Tony Chimmel to give up his chair, Eddie has a seat and talks about a boy named Dominick who lived a long time ago and far away. Then one day, Dominick went out into the woods to play….but here are Eddie’s wife Vickie and their kids. Eddie goes to the floor and introduces his family to the crowd before screaming at them to go to the back. Vickie says this is getting out of hand and this secret, whatever it is, needs to be kept quiet because it could hurt a lot of people, including Rey. Eddie grabs her by the neck and forces her to the back in an uncomfortable moment.

Post break, Eddie yells about how this is what he does and Vickie needs to worry about the girls like she is supposed to. Hardcore Holly of all people tries to intervene and gets shoved away. Vickie is put into the card and, despite protesting the whole time, drives away with the kids.

Mexicools vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Paul London/Funaki

Super Crazy stars with London and gets chopped up against the ropes, only to have Juvy get in a knee to the back from the apron to take over. Juvy comes in to work on the armbar and it’s Super Crazy coming in as well for a double basement dropkick to Scotty’s head. Scotty tries to fight out of the corner as Cole freaks out over not knowing what THE JUICE means.

Juvy gets knocked down and the diving tag brings London back in. Some dropkicks take the Mexicools down and it’s a belly to back suplex to drop Juvy again. Psicosis and Crazy break up the 450 though, allowing Crazy to hit his own moonsault. Juvy’s 450 is enough to put London away.

Rating: C-. So the Mexicools have finally debuted and….yeah it’s three good luchadors in a trios match. I’m not sure what this was supposed to accomplish other than getting their foot in the door because they weren’t all that impressive. At the same time though, how far has London fallen since winning the title? I know it doesn’t mean anything but good grief. Drop the title if that’s how worthless they see it being.

Christian hits on Candice Michelle by offering any help she may need but Booker T. and Sharmell interrupt. Booker isn’t impressed so Christian tells him to back off. A match is set for later.

Batista talks about watching Smackdown while he was on Raw, where he saw JBL as a loudmouthed bully. At the Great American Bash, the bully is getting beaten up and getting an attitude adjustment.

Melina tells MNM that she’ll catch up with them in the ring. She goes over to Torrie Wilson and isn’t happy with a fan asking Torrie for an autograph. Whatever Torrie can do, Melina can do it better. They’ll fight at the Bash and let’s make it a bra and panties match.

Heidenreich comes out for a match but gets jumped by MNM. Heidenreich gets posted so Melina asks where his friends are now. Cue Road Warrior Animal of all people for the save, because the Legion of Doom has a new DVD out and we need to promote it somehow. To be fair though, the fans do go nuts for him.

MNM bails so Animal grabs the mic and plugs the DVD before saying he doesn’t like MNM declaring themselves the best team of all time. Mercury calls Animal old and gives the Road Warriors a title shot at the Bash. Nitro: “We can’t do that. His partner is dead!” Animal is ready to snap but Heidenreich calms him down and offers to team with him at the pay per view. The match is made.

We look back at the opening segment with Eddie getting creepier than usual.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Hardcore Holly

They start with the shoving again until Eddie chops him in the corner. More chops against the ropes have Holly in trouble but another corner version misses. Holly knocks him to the floor and we take a break. Back with Eddie chopping away some more until Holly armdrags him into an armbar.

A drop toehold sends Holly face first into the buckle so it’s time to step on Holly’s face. Eddie’s figure four necklock is powered up into an electric chair and they’re both down. Holly hits a backdrop and dropkick for two, followed by a full nelson slam for the same. A top rope clothesline gets the third two in a row but the Alabama Slam out of the corner is blocked.

That’s fine with Holly, who hits his kick to the very low ribs. They head outside with Holly going shoulder first into the post and back first into the apron. The referee gets poked in the eye, probably not by mistake, and Eddie hits Holly in the knee with a pipe. A Texas Cloverleaf makes Holly tap.

Rating: C. I know Holly gets some eye rolls at times but he can wrestle a fine match like he did here. Granted it’s against Eddie Guerrero so it’s almost guaranteed to be at least decent, but Holly held up his end as well. It’s also a nice sign to have Eddie’s jealous madness getting to other people as well, which it really should at this point.

Post match Eddie apologizes to Vickie and says she knows he would never hurt her or the kids. Now, he’s going to prove how much he loves Vickie by giving Rey a chance. They can fight again at the Bash (they’re booking this show in a hurry tonight) and if Rey beats him, the secret will never be told. If Eddie wins though, the secret is coming out.

Muhammad Hassan is not here tonight, but we will have a prepared statement from Hassan’s attorney.

Post break here is the attorney for the statement. You can tell he’s an attorney because he wears a suit, has a briefcase, and the announcer tells us that he is an attorney. Oh and he stops to put on reading glasses before clearing his throat. His name is Thomas Whitney Esq. and the statement talks about Hassan taking a break from Smackdown due to everything that has happened in the last week.

Hassan has American rights and it is a sad day when he has to retain an attorney to protect those rights. Hassan will not be back until after he defeats the Undertaker at the Great American Bash….and there’s the gong. One long entrance and a beating later and we’re done. Whitney wouldn’t be done in wrestling, though it helped a lot when he shaved his head and changed his name to Tommaso Ciampa.

Christian vs. Booker T.

Hold on though as Christian jumps him from behind in the aisle. Booker is sent into various steel objects (steps, post) but the referee lets the match start anyway. Therefore, the Unprettier finishes Booker in about fifteen seconds.

The Boogeyman is coming.

Great American Bash rundown, with Christian vs. Booker T. as the fourth match added during this show.

Here’s Orlando Jordan with JBL for the main event, but first JBL needs to rant about last week. That was a humiliating night for him as he was beaten up by someone who should have bought a ticket to see him. The Great American Bash is his pay per view and we will see what the Wrestlemania main event should have been. There are all time greats, but there is only one wrestling god.

Batista vs. Orlando Jordan

Non-title. Batista starts with the shoulders in the corner before hitting another one in the middle of the ring. Jordan gets back in but JBL offers a quick trip to pull Batista outside. That means a whip into the steps (popular weapon tonight) so Jordan can start working on the knee to take over. An argument with the referee lets JBL wrap the leg around the post to keep Batista down.

Jordan lays on the leg but Batista pops up for the shoulders in the corner. A powerslam plants Jordan but JBL has to be knocked off the apron. With JBL dispatched and the referee bumped, the spinebuster into the Batista Bomb….is broken up by a JBL chair shot. That gets a close two so JBL tries the Clothesline, only to get knocked away without much effort. Now the Batista Bomb can finish Jordan.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t a very good match but it also set up some things for the future. This was about setting up Batista vs. JBL at the Great American Bash, which may not be sounding like the most thrilling match but it is something that gives Batista his first win as Smackdown Champion. There wasn’t much of a sweat over Jordan, but was there really supposed to be one?

Post match JBL kicks Batista in the bad knee and hits the Clothesline. Posing with the title ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a show that illustrated how weak things could be. Other than Eddie/Rey, there isn’t much on here that I really want to see. There did set up a lot of stuff for the Bash, but it includes what will be a nacho break match and Animal getting a title shot (the LOD was great but Animal and Heidenreich…..not exactly). The top half of Smackdown is going to be very good but outside of that, I’m really not sure how the rest of the show is going to go. One or two strong angles can carry a show, but if one of those doesn’t work, they’re in big trouble. Not a terrible show, but the lack of depth is showing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: July 7, 2005
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re coming up on the Great American Bash but more importantly we are finally set as far as the roster moves go. The roster may not look as strong as it did before but Smackdown has Batista now and that is the only logical followup to losing John Cena over to Raw. Now we get to see where things go. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Cena moving over to Monday, meaning a champion was needed. That looked to be JBL but Batista showed up instead. That’s a rather cruel way to treat JBL actually, as he won that match on his own last week.

Here’s a sneering JBL to open things up. Last week’s screwjob makes what happened to Bret Hart in Montreal look like a parking ticket. He should be Smackdown Champion but now we have Batista on Smackdown instead. JBL is #1 contender though and he isn’t scared of the Animal, because tick tock. The time is ticking on Batista’s time as World Heavyweight Champion and it’s time for the man who looks like Tarzan to fight like Jane.

JBL’s music starts and here’s the limo….containing the Blue World Order, with Stevie Richards as Orlando Jordan, the Blue Meanie as JBL and Nova as the combined forces of the Bashams. Richards introduces us to JBL: John Blue Lamefield, and Ash Me (Ash Me?). Richards dubs himself Bluewheat to some rather weak responses. JBL is really not impressed and orders them out of here before they embarrass him.

Richards says JBL embarrassed himself at One Night Stand because he disrespected ECW and everything they stood for. JBL rants about how Richards wasn’t good enough to flip burgers and Meanie took the beating he deserved. Meanie wants JBL in a match tonight and that’s agreed to in a hurry. We’re not done yet though as the BWO spray paint the limo. That happens a lot around here.

Chris Benoit vs. Booker T.

For the #1 contendership to the US Title. They go technical to start as you might have expected with Benoit shrugging off a hammerlock and grabbing a hiptoss. That’s good for a standoff so Benoit starts in with the chops to take over. Booker manages to snap him throat first across the top rope, followed by a superkick for two. The armbar goes on, followed by a quick ax kick for two.

That means more armbarring, as it certainly seems to be working so far. This time it’s Benoit fighting back and snapping off the German suplexes but the Swan Dive is blocked. Booker nails a superplex for a very delayed two before trying a cross armbreaker of all things, sending Benoit to the ropes. The arm is fine enough to slap on the Crossface and make Booker tap.

Rating: C+. These two could have a passable match in their sleep and that is more or less what they did here. Benoit is going to be fine going into the US Title match at the Bash, even if it is going to take something incredible to make a match with Jordan work. I’m not sure where this leaves Booker, but he’s going to do well enough against anyone, which is a good way to build up someone new.

Sharmell is disappointed at the loss but Jordan scares her off and takes her place in front of the monitor.

We recap Eddie Guerrero going nuts last week and making Rey Mysterio beg him not to tell Rey’s son Dominick the truth. The emotion in this stuff is rather awesome and they’re both selling it incredibly well.

Mysterio comes up to Eddie in the back and asks him to rethink things. Eddie feigns ignorance so Rey lays it out for him. He begs Eddie not to do this, but Eddie needs a partner tonight to face MNM. That’s a no, but Eddie’s feelings are hurt. Instead, he’ll just go to the ring by himself and tell everyone the truth about their little secret. Rey: “Wait…Eddie.” Eddie: “We having a change of heart here or something?” Eddie says he loves Rey and the only thing he wants is the best for Rey and Dominick. See you out there, partner.

Muhammad Hassan and Daivari rant about the six man match last week. Hassan was never eliminated and should be the #1 contender to Batista. Instead, Theodore Long puts him in a #1 contenders match with the Undertaker. Oh dear it’s time to get here. As for tonight, it’s Daivari vs. Undertaker.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Blue Meanie

No DQ. During the intros, we hear about JBL and Meanie’s issues, including at One Night Stand, but without any specifics as to what JBL did. JBL boots him in the face before the bell and stomps away in the corner before taking him outside to continue the beating. Meanie goes into various hard objects and his comeback attempt goes as well as you would expect.

JBL beats up the rest of the BWO and it’s time for a chair, plus Richards for a bonus. Richards gets in a scary chair shot to the head and Meanie adds a DDT. The Meaniesault gets two and here’s Jordan to distract Meanie. The Clothesline From JBL connects but Batista comes in and gives JBL the spinebuster so Meanie can steal the pin.

Rating: D-. This has been Avoiding Lawsuits With WWE as the BWO guys were just some annoyances to JBL who stole a win to help advance Batista vs. JBL. They kept it short and Meanie got in almost no offense without major help so it’s not like this hurts JBL or anything. Just get it over with and move on so Meanie won’t sue. I get why it had to happen and it wasn’t the worst thing ever or even close. Just a quick thing that we had to get through.

Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Rey Mysterio/Eddie Guerrero

MNM is defending and Eddie forces Rey to smile in a funny moment. Eddie takes over on Mercury’s arm to start and demands a tag for the sake of Dominick. Rey reluctantly comes in and hits a basement dropkick for two on Mercury. It’s back to Eddie for Three Amigos but Eddie stops to throw Nitro to the floor instead of covering. The frog splash connects for two anyway, with Eddie pulling off of the pin.

Rey comes in for two instead and Eddie blasts him from behind. Eddie goes to sit down at ringside as Rey takes a double gutbuster to set up the chinlock. Rey fights up and hurricanranas Nitro into the 619 as the comeback is on. The springboard legdrop gets two….as Eddie jumps Rey and beats him up. Eddie chills on the top rope as Rey takes the Snapshot to retain the titles.

Rating: C. It’s a hard one to grade as this was an angle instead of a match. That makes things more interesting too, as we’ve done the Eddie/Rey Tag Team Titles run before. Eddie is completely out there at this point and that makes things a lot different. I’ve loved this story so far and this is a rather nice new twist on things.

Post match Eddie asks Rey if he wants to hit him, but it would cost Rey their little secret. Rey wants to leave but Eddie shoves him in the face and makes Rey hold the ropes open for him. Eddie: “Dominick would LOVE to open the ropes for Uncle Eddie.” Rey reluctantly agrees as the mind games continue.

Raw Rebound.

Christian talks about how awesome he is and how he’s ready for Batista tonight. That’s how he rolls.

Matt Morgan vs. William Regal

This is Regal’s Smackdown debut, or at least it would be if the Mexicools didn’t come out and jump Morgan. Regal looks impressed as the beatdown goes on. Juvy talks about how they’re going to keep making an impact week after week. Psicosis: “Your a** is grass and we are the lawnmowers!”

And that’s it for Matt Morgan, because WWE saw no value in someone who looks like that with that kind of size and felt the need to give him a bad stutter as his only gimmick. Instead, we’re getting the continuing adventures of three guys riding a lawnmower and talking about being cool. Wrestling can be a stupid place at times.

Daivari panics about facing Undertaker but Hassan says that the sacrifice has a reward. He has a plan.

Daivari vs. Undertaker

Daivari bails to the floor before the smoke clears from around ringside but Hassan throws him back in. The chokeslam and Tombstone finish Daivari in a hurry.

And then it happens. Hassan drops to his knees and begins to pray. Five men in ski masks and camo pants, one with a club, run in and beat Undertaker down. One of them pull out a steel wire and choke him out, allowing Hassan to put on the camel clutch. The masked men carry Daivari out like a martyr as Hassan glares at Undertaker.

The announcers do their serious talk about what they just saw.

I’m not sure what to say about this other than I still feel sorry for what happened to Hassan here. The angle itself was always going to be controversial. Now that’s fine on its own and I could see how something like this could have worked if WWE had been capable of pulling it off. However, the problem was this show aired the night of the London Underground bombings. WWE aired a statement saying that the segment would be controversial, but they really needed to just cut the segment entirely. It was a situation where real life was more important than wrestling and there was no way this would go over.

This was more or less it for Hassan, as UPN decided they didn’t want him on their network anymore (the character, not the person) and there was nothing WWE could do. Hassan would wrestle one more time, as the Great American Bash, and then never be seen again. Hence why I’ve always felt sorry for Hassan, whose career was basically ended because of an angle that took place and aired the day of a horrible incident.

WWE could have done something else (air an interview, a clip from Raw or SOMETHING else, even something from last week) but instead they put a disclaimer on there and let Hassan’s career be ended. WWE didn’t know how bad it could have gone, but I would have hoped they would know better than to let this air the day of something that bad. Hassan was going to be a big deal (apparently taking the title from Batista at Summerslam) and while I’m not sure how well he would have done, he never got the chance because of something that wasn’t his fault, and that isn’t fair.

Christian vs. Batista

Non-title. Batista throws him around to start and Christian isn’t sure what to do. A hard running shoulder puts Christian on the floor and we take a break. Back with Christian getting punched out of the air and it’s time to head outside. Christian posts him and then sends him face first into the steps for the first breather he’s had.

Back in and Christian gets two each off a DDT and neckbreaker, followed by the required chinlock. A middle dropkick and some ax handles to the back set up another chinlock to keep Batista down. Batista powers up into an electric chair drop and there’s a World’s Strongest Slam. The spinebuster and Batista Bomb finish Christian.

Rating: C-. Christian was little more than a sacrificial lamb here and that’s all well and good. Batista is going on to bigger things on Smackdown so throwing Christian out there was a fine way to give him a first win. The match went as it should have and Batista looked dominant in a watchable match with little drama.

Post match JBL and Orlando Jordan run in to go after Batista, meaning it’s a beating for Jordan to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Well it was certainly eventful. This was as all over the place of a show as you could ask for with the JBL/Meanie shenanigans, a build to the Great American Bash main event, another direction in Eddie vs. Rey and that whole controversy deal which ended Hassan’s career. It was one of the most eventful shows I’ve ever seen but there is one thing that anyone is going to talk about coming out of this show. That’s understandable as well, but dang it’s a shame when so much else happened here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Vengeance 2005
Date: June 26, 2005
Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 9,850
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

I’m actually looking forward to this one as the card is stacked. We have HHH vs. Batista inside the Cell, John Cena facing Christian and Chris Jericho in a triple threat in his first defense as Raw World Champion and Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels II. The rest of the show might not be great but those three matches should be more than enough. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on the two World Title matches with the Cell getting more attention. Normally I would mock HHH for getting the attention but it’s the right call here.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito

Carlito is defending in a rematch from Monday when he won the title in the first place. Shelton takes him down in a hurry and the near fall has Carlito panicking. Lawler is right there with some actual analysis, saying that Shelton going for the pin so fast suggests he’s worried about Carlito escaping with the title. A shoulder gives Benjamin two and a knee to the ribs is good for the same.

Carlito gets in his own knockdown so Shelton nips up and knocks him outside without much trouble. The announcers are on it tonight, talking about how Shelton is looking a little shaky after the big fall on Monday. It isn’t that hard to tie stories together but it’s almost a rarity in WWE. Shelton won’t let Carlito walk away and gets two off a snap suplex. The attempted Stinger Splash misses so Shelton lands on top (egads man) and hits a top rope clothesline for two instead.

Carlito kicks him in the head to take over and some slams work on the back, which commentary had said was banged up from the crash. WHERE HAS THIS COMMENTARY BEEN ALL THESE YEARS??? Some stomping gets two but Shelton is right back up with a jumping elbow to the face.

A Samoan drop gives Shelton a delayed two and a backbreaker gets the same. The springboard bulldog gets another near fall so Shelton hammers in the corner, allowing Carlito to get a buckle pad off. The dragon whip hits Carlito’s shoulder but the Stinger Splash goes head first into the buckle to give Carlito the pin (with a handful of trunks) for the retaining pin.

Rating: C+. That’s one of the more enjoyable Carlito matches I can remember seeing as it included a nice story with the injured Shelton and Carlito going after the bad head. Shelton gets cheated out of the win (twice when you count the trunks) so now he can move up the ladder, but that might be weird in the current Raw environment.

Evolution arrives, with HHH in a gray suit and red shirt. That isn’t the best look for him but if anyone complains, he might talk to them and that’s the last thing we need.

We recap Victoria vs. Christy Hemme. Victoria wasn’t happy with Christy getting the star treatment and beat her up, including breaking a glass vase over her head. Christy has heart though and that’s all you need.

Christy Hemme vs. Victoria

Christy survives the early beatdown and sends Victoria’s head into the mat and buckle. A hot shot gets Victoria out of trouble as we hear about Christy wrestling with a concussion here. There’s your line that would never be allowed today, along with the second injury angle coming into a match.

A lot of choking ensues, plus a chinlock which is completely different. Lawler compares their attractiveness as the Widow’s Peak is countered into a rollup to give Christy two. Victoria misses the moonsault though and Christy gets all fired up, much to the fans’ annoyance. A DDT gets two but Victoria sits down on a sunset flip and grabs the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D. I feel bad for saying it was bad because Christy looks like she is really trying but it isn’t working. That’s absolutely not her fault though because there is no reason for her to wrestle on a major show this soon. Victoria did her best here but they were in a horrible situation that shouldn’t have been on pay per view.

John Cena talks about being the new kid, including making fun of Todd Grisham for having a rather embarrassing accident in high school. Cena is the new kid, Christian is the weird kid on the bus and Jericho wore leopard print spandex with a stuffed crotch to the promo. It doesn’t matter who you are though because this title is about being the best, not selling records. Cena is the kid most likely to kick somebody’s a** so the champ is here. The fire was strong here.

We recap Kane vs. Edge. Kane and Lita had one of the weirdest relationships in wrestling history but she left him for Edge, as Kane was turned into a stand-in for Matt Hardy. Kane broke up their wedding in the first stage of revenge with tonight being phase two. In other words, it’s all about vengeance.

Kane vs. Edge

Edge tries to jump him at the bell land gets hammered down in the corner for his efforts. A bunch of right hands are rained down and an uppercut makes it even worse. Kane clotheslines him to the floor but it’s time to go after Lita, which doesn’t seem to be the best idea. Edge’s save completely fails and Kane hammers away even more as the announcers do not have nice things to say about Lita.

The fans want Matt as Kane knocks Edge outside again but Lita grabs Edge’s foot so he can get in a posting. There’s a spear and baseball slide as the pace has slowed down a good bit. Back in and Edge slugs away but Kane does it a bit better, only to get caught with the Edge-O-Matic. Kane sits up, gets dropkicked back down and sits up again to start the comeback.

An uppercut knocks Edge out of the air but here’s Snitsky for the failed save attempt. Lita tries to bring in a chair before going with the romantic route, earning herself some choking. There’s no chokeslam, as Kane would rather tie the chair around her neck. Snitsky makes the real save with a big boot to give Edge two but he briefcases Snitsky by mistake. The chokeslam finishes Edge.

Rating: D+. It was pretty slow paced for the most part and then the ending was rather messy. The idea of Kane vs. Snitsky again gives me hives but this seemed to be more of a one off interference than anything else. The Lita/Edge vs. Kane stuff feels like it is coming to an end as well, as the story has been good but Kane just won the big match, so stretching it out further may not be the best idea.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels II. Kurt beat him in a masterpiece at Wrestlemania so Shawn wants a rematch. Game on.

Shawn doesn’t know if they can match the Wrestlemania efforts, but he guarantees vengeance.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle

Angle wrestles him to the mat to start so Shawn bails over to the ropes in a hurry. They do the same thing again and you can see that Shawn is thinking a lot in this one. This time Angle goes for the legs so Shawn bails to the ropes again. They like that kind of sequence you see. An armdrag into an armbar has Angle…well not even in trouble as he reverses into an armbar of his own.

Angle crushes the arm to send Shawn outside for a breather so Angle goes right back to the leg, again sending Shawn to the rope. Shawn rolls out of the ankle lock and hits a clothesline to put Angle on the floor for a change. Instead of waiting, Shawn follows him out and gets suplexed onto the announcers’ table for the big crash. Back in and Angle stomps away in the corner as Shawn is bleeding from the eye.

A buckle bomb really rocks Shawn for two and the chinlock goes on. Angle clotheslines him down to break up the comeback attempt and an overhead belly to belly gets two. The second chinlock lasts a bit longer as Angle grinds him down. It turns into the long form version until Shawn suplexes his way out of trouble. Shawn wins a slugout and hits the forearm to start the real comeback.

The top rope elbow connects but Sweet Chin Music is broken up without much trouble. A tornado DDT gives Shawn three straight twos but it’s time to German suplex Shawn into the Angle Slam for the big near fall. Angle rolls him into the ankle lock and the counter takes out the referee. Shawn gets backdropped to the floor and the leg gets banged up all over again.

The ankle lock goes on in the middle of the ring and Shawn starts scrambling. He finally rolls Angle into the post and scores with Sweet Chin Music for a rather delayed near fall. Coach: “I’ve never seen anybody kick out of Sweet Chin Music!” Shawn’s leg is gone so he can’t follow up, allowing Angle to go up top. That’s never a good idea against Shawn, who superkicks him out of the air for the pin.

Rating: A-. You can’t live up to their first match and to be fair, they didn’t really try to. This was a great match in its own right, but were you expecting anything else from Shawn vs. Angle in a 26 minute match? These two are always going to have something like this because they’re incredibly talented. Outstanding match, even if it wasn’t their Wrestlemania masterpiece.

Coach tries to get Batista to say he’s scared of the Cell but Batista isn’t having any of that and looks ready to eat Coach’s head. HHH comes in to say he’ll win because no one beats him in the Cell. The fight is on with referees breaking it up in a hurry.

Here’s Lilian Garcia and there’s a big couch in the ring. She brings out Viscera, in the smoking jacket of course. Lilian talks about how she has grown to see how amazing he is and even sings a song for him. With that out of the way, Lilian proposes to him and he promises to take it into consideration.

Cue the Godfather though and he’s brought some women. He can’t let that happen, because these girls have been wanting to get a piece of him. Viscera looks at the women, shouts ALL ABOARD and leaves with Godfather and company. Lilian cries a lot as Viscera dances with the women. I’ve liked the whole deal, including a solid payoff like this.

We recap Christian and Chris Jericho challenging John Cena for the WWE Championship. Christian had been calling Cena out for weeks and the match was made, but then Jericho got involved by attacking Cena, turning it into a triple threat. Cena has been fired up at a different level lately and this is the kind of match that can help put him over the top on Raw.

WWE Championship: John Cena vs. Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Cena is defending and Christian has Tomko with him. Jericho slaps Cena in the face and gets tackled to start but it’s a Canadian double teaming to put Cena down in the corner. A hard whip into the corner puts Cena down so Jericho can turn on Christian as he had been wanting to do. Tomko gets in a hard clothesline on Jericho though, leaving Cena to beat up Christian. More Tomko cheating earns him an early ejection and it’s an FU to put Christian on the floor.

Jericho is right back in with a top rope elbow to the jaw for two on Cena and there’s the running bulldog. They head outside with Cena getting beaten up in a different way, with Jericho loading up the announcers’ table for a change. A DDT onto the floor drops Jericho but Christian is back up to take his place.

The chinlock has Cena in trouble in the ring and it’s Jericho cutting off the comeback without much trouble. Christian small packages Jericho for two but Cena is back in for the powerbomb portion of a Tower of Doom. Cena gets two each, followed by some hard clotheslines each. A drop toehold sends Christian’s head into Jericho’s and there’s the double Shuffle.

Jericho gets knocked to the floor but Christian rakes the eyes to escape the FU. The Unprettier gets two so Christian goes for the title, allowing Tomko to run in for a clothesline to Cena. Jericho puts Christian on the floor and gets the Walls on Cena, with Christian making the save. Cena picks Christian up for the FU, swings his feet into Jericho, and plants Christian to retain.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but all three were hustling at the end and made it into a solid match. Cena is clearly the guy getting the rocket push and WWE would be crazy to not go that way. He’s popular, he’s getting better in the ring and he has the fire in his eyes. That’s what you look for and Cena has every bit of it. Christian and Jericho were great at helping him along here too, which is why Cena was in there with them. Rather good match, especially in the second half.

Cena celebrates in the crowd.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap HHH vs. Batista in the Cell. Batista beat him twice at back to back pay per views, but that’s not good enough for HHH, so we get the rematch in HIS match. They’ve made it very clear that HHH has all of the advantages here, which is a good story to tell between the two of them.

World Heavyweight Championship: HHH vs. Batista

In the Cell with Batista defending. Batista goes with the power to start, including the clothesline and a side slam. They head outside with HHH blocking a ram into the Cell but not being able to do it twice in a row. HHH is fine enough to send him into the post and then knocks him off the apron into the Cell. They’re getting into the violent stuff early on here and that’s nice for a change.

It’s toolbox time and HHH busts out a chain. Some whips to the back have Batista screaming in pain but it’s time for the real fun with HHH Hanging him over the top. As you might expect, Batista gets the chain off his throat and comes right back with some whipping of his own. HHH gets sent into the Cell to bust him open, meaning it’s time to grab a barbed wire chair. A few shots have Batista in trouble but he hits a clothesline and takes the chair away, cutting HHH’s head up with it for some retaliation.

The shoulders to the ribs in the corner but Batista misses a charge to give the incredibly bloody HHH a breather. Batista gets in a backdrop and a powerslam onto the barbed wire chair gets two. The Batista Bomb is countered into a DDT onto the chair and this time it’s Batista getting busted open. HHH rakes the cut across the Cell, because that is what you do in this situation.

It’s sledgehammer time (JR: “Not the d*** sledgehammer!” King: “Yes, the d*** sledgehammer JR.”) with a shot to Batista’s head getting two. A low blow gets Batista out of trouble for a bit and he grabs the sledgehammer but gets hit in the face with the chain. HHH goes up but dives into a sledgehammer shot, making him spit blood into the air for an outstanding visual. The whip over the corner has HHH in more trouble with a running steps shot making it worse.

The steps are loaded up in the corner with Batista ramming him head first into them over and over. A big whip into the steps makes it even worse but the Batista Bomb is countered into the Pedigree for the big near fall. Another Pedigree onto the steps is countered into a spinebuster onto them instead (THUD). Batista loads up the Batista Bomb with HHH grabbing the hammer, only to be dropped for the pin before the shot to the head can connect.

Rating: A-. This was indeed great as they set everything up exactly as they should have. They made a great spectacle out of Batista being the better man between the two with HHH losing in his match. That’s the story they have told for weeks now and it’s exactly what we got. It’s a heck of a fight with all kinds of blood and gore, making it feel like the Cell is supposed to. I had a good time with it and this makes Batista into the star he should be. Now STOP GIVING HHH WORLD TITLE MATCHES FOR A LONG TIME.

Overall Rating: A-. There are some flaws in there (Edge vs. Kane, the women’s match and that longer than necessary yet still funny Lilian/Viscera deal) but the three matches the show was built around completely delivered. That makes this one of the most underrated shows you’re going to find in WWE< mainly because none of this is all that important. Cena was never losing his first title defense on a Raw PPV, Batista has proven he’s better than HHH twice already (he proved something new here but it was bonus material) and Shawn vs. Angle has been done better. It’s similar to Canadian Stampede in a way and that’s some praise.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 20, 2005
Location: American West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Vengeance is on Sunday and that means it’s time for the final push towards what is looking like a stacked show. There are already several major matches set for the show and that means we should be in for a heck of a card once we get there. That is Sunday though and we need one more final push to get there. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s John Cena to get things going. Cena thinks this place is like the wild wild west and he liked the sound of something like that. If Christian and Chris Jericho want a shot at the WWE Championship, Cena completely gets it because this is what matters most. As for tonight, Jericho needs to get out here and take a beating personally. He hasn’t forgotten about Christian either so let’s do it right now.

Instead here are Muhammad Hassan and Daivari, with JR thinking they aren’t Christian and Jericho. Hassan can’t believe that Cena has anything to complain about because the people here in Phoenix welcomed him with open arms. Last week he was screwed out of the Intercontinental Title and he deserves some respect.

Cena makes fun of his whining and suggests that Daivari gives him some special spankings. Cena: “These people don’t hate you because you’re Arab American. They hate you because you’re a****** American.” The challenge is thrown out for tonight and Eric Bischoff shows up to make it a title match. Cena is ready to go right now and I think you know how that is going to go.

We look at Lita filing for divorce from Kane, setting up her wedding to Edge tonight.

Bischoff is in the ring to introduce the newest Draft pick: Carlito. Before we get to that though, Bischoff brings out Shelton Benjamin, who was a big deal in last year’s Draft. Shelton has been Intercontinental Champion since October but he beat a champion who didn’t know who he was going to face. That’s what Shelton is going to do tonight, against the new Draft pick.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito

Shelton is defending and has to fight out of the corner to start. That’s enough to send Carlito outside for a breather so Shelton tries the big running flip dive but catches his foot to make him crash hard, with Carlito just getting underneath him for the save. Back from a break with Shelton fighting out of a chinlock, only to get punched back down. Shelton finally manages a double clothesline for the double knockdown.

The comeback is on with a backdrop and the top rope clothesline gets two. Shelton is a little shaken up from the crash earlier so Carlito plants him with a DDT. It doesn’t do much harm as he goes up top and hits a super sunset flip for two, followed by a Samoan drop for a rather weak cover. Carlito is right back with a rollup though and a grab of the rope is enough for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t exactly impressed here but they told a story and got enough of a match out of things. I’m still not wild on Carlito and that was a heck of a way to just drop Shelton’s lengthy title reign. They did make sure to protect him a bit, but he should be moving up to the World Title scene now, which isn’t happening with Cena around.

Maria asks Carlito how he won and he says he pinned Shelton. He’ll be the greatest Intercontinental Champion WWE has ever seen. But first, he spits some apple on Maria.

Viscera vs. Simon Dean

Lilian is VERY pleased to handle Viscera’s…..introduction. Simon rips on Viscera for his weight (Dean: “Who do you think you are? Hugh Hefner?”) and gets in a few shots to the leg to start. He stops to show off for Lilian a bit though and the destruction is quick, capped off by the Visagra and the chokebomb.

Post match Lilian gets in the ring and says they have been moving fast. She wants to go faster though and on Sunday, he might hit the jackpot in Vegas. Kissing ensues.

Another look at the Raw Diva Search process. I believe this is the same video from last time.

Chris Jericho is ready to get his title shot and doesn’t care if the fans are annoyed with him. The only reason Cena’s albums are doing better than Fozzy’s are because Cena is the champ of course. Christian comes in to suggest that Hassan might win the title tonight, but Jericho always overlooks people. Like he overlooked Christian at Wrestlemania XX. Jericho can want to go platinum but Christian is going gold on Sunday.

Video on HHH’s history in the Cell.

Bischoff is worried when Kurt Angle comes in. Kurt brags about beating Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania and promises to make him tap again on Sunday. This time though, the win is dedicated to Bischoff.

And now, Edge and Lita are getting married. Edge is rather swanky in his black cowboy hat, leather pants, cane, skull and crossbones tie and briefcase. Lita on the other hand is basically wearing most of a sheet (Lawler heartily approves). JR: “Her shoulder tattoo matches her shoes.” The YOU SCREWED Matt chants start up and we get a video on their very speedy romance.

The minister has to stop various things from happening and says a rather large man has insisted on coming down to say something. That would be Snitsky, with a sleeveless tuxedo. It isn’t his fault that they fell in love and it’s not his fault that things went in this direction, just like it isn’t his fault that Kane can’t get in his erection. Snitsky: “It’s not my fault that you had a dead baby in your uterus.”

They read their vows, including Edge saying that he is Mr. Money in the Sack and not a big bald monster. Lita on the other hand says she has never been in love with anyone before and doesn’t care about what the people say. Lita: “I am proud to be the s*** of the century.” The minister says the big line of speak now or forever hold your peace and you can see Edge and Lita get worried.

Matt Hardy’s music hits and Jim Ross does his shocked voice….but no one is here because Edge and Lita can have some fun with us too. The minister is ready to marry them in the name of the…..and here’s Kane through the ring to break things up. Edge throws the minister at Kane and runs off with Lita. The set is destroyed and Kane Tombstones the minister to add to his scrapbook. Edge and Lita are terrified with Edge’s facials being great as always. This had some great moments, with Snitsky’s lines and the Matt Hardy tease being outstanding.

Post break, Kane says he is back.

Christy Hemme looks back at Victoria attacking her three weeks ago and then jumping Victoria in retaliation. Victoria makes her blood boil and Christy wants to rip her head off. Cue Victoria to break something made of glass over her back. Victoria leaves and there is a lot of blood coming from the back of Christy’s head.

Post break, Christy is loaded into an ambulance and can’t remember her name. This has been your filler as they reset the ring.

WWE Championship: John Cena vs. Muhammad Hassan

Cena is defending. It’s another fast start with a running clothesline putting Hassan on the floor. Daivari gets knocked down as well but he grabs Cena’s feet so Hassan can stomp away. Hassan gets a few twos off boots and a suplex but Cena is right back with the clotheslines. The ProtoBomb and the Shuffle set up the FU to give Hassan his first pinfall loss in less than two minutes. Well that came out of nowhere, but Cena gets more fuel in his rocket.

Post match Christian and Jericho jump Cena on the ramp and the beatdown is on.

During the break, Christian gets out as fast as he can.

Here are the Diva Search finalists: Leyla, Ashley, Kristal, Cameron, Elisabeth, Alexis, Summer and Simona. They’re all good looking and we find out where they’re from. I’m not sure what else there is to say here.

Batista vs. Kurt Angle

Non-title. Batista elbows his way out of a waistlock to start and hits the shoulders in the corner. Angle is right back with an early ankle lock but that’s broken up with straight power. The missed charge sends Batista shoulder first into the post though and it’s off to a Fujiwara armbar. That’s broken up with a side slam and Batista clotheslines him to the floor, so it’s HHH and Ric Flair running in to jump Batista for the DQ. That would be their only singles match ever.

Shawn, save, Bischoff, tag.

Shawn Michaels/Batista vs. Kurt Angle/HHH

Joined in progress with Shawn and HHH slugging it out until Shawn hits the flying forearm. Angle tries to come in so Flair sneaks in to chop Shawn’s block. Another distraction lets Flair wrap the knee around the post and Angle slaps on a Brock Lock. The villains take turns on the knee and it’s an STF to stay on the leg. A belly to back suplex gets Shawn out of trouble for all of three seconds as it’s back to HHH to drop elbows to the leg.

The WOO looks to set up a Figure Four but HHH gets kicked into the buckle. That’s enough for the hot tag to Batista and hammering ensues. Everything breaks down with Angle being sent to the floor so Shawn can throw him over the barricade. They fight into the crowd, leaving Batista to hit the spinebuster (JR: “That rattled my Oklahoma hat!”) but a Flair distraction lets HHH get the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: C-. The announcers act like this is some monumental pin and while it is a big deal to have Batista get pinned, I still need a long break from HHH in the title picture. That really needs to come sooner rather than later and just after Sunday would be as good of a time as any.

HHH talks trash and replays take us out.

Overall Rating: C. This was quite the oddball show with stuff like the Hassan loss and the title change coming out of nowhere. They’re not necessarily bad, but when you seem to be going in a direction and then switch gears out of nowhere, it can be a little jarring. The wedding was entertaining and I can go with some build towards Vengeance, but Shawn and Angle didn’t get any significant time to themselves. But hey, at least we got to see the next round of women who stand around backstage for the next few years.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2008
Date: November 23, 2008
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 12,498
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Jim Ross, Tazz

The other major story on the show is Team Orton vs. Team Batista. Randy Orton vs. Batista had always been a match WWE wanted to push on a big stage but this is about as high as they ever got. They would face each other at various other pay per views in singles matches, but none as high profile as this one. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is the exact same thing it’s been for two years. Literally, they’re the same clips before we get to the stuff about the main events.

JR and Taz talk about the Hardy issue and say that ABC and TMZ picked up the story. I seem to remember that being a lie.

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Shawn Michaels, Rey Mysterio, Cryme Tyme, Great Khali

John Bradshaw Layfield, The Miz, John Morrison, Kane, MVP

Shawn and JBL are feuding over Shawn being broke and needing money form JBL, Cryme Tyme (Shad Gaspard and JTG, two thug characters) are feuding with Miz and Morrison, Kane has been hunting Mysterio and Khali and MVP (in the middle of a massive losing streak that would result in a face turn and the US Title) are there to fill out the lineups. MVP and Mysterio get things going as all of the commentators are talking at once.

Rey hits a quick hurricanrana and a clothesline for two before it’s off to JTG for a double dropkick. JTG hits a HARD right hand but MVP gets in a shot to the ribs and hits the Drive-By (running kick to the side of the head) for the elimination. Khali immediately comes in and chops MVP in the head for the elimination to tie things up.

Kane comes in for the staredown of the giants and Khali clotheslines him down with ease. Khali slugs him down and easily breaks up a chokeslam attempt. There’s the chop to the head and Rey climbs on Khali’s shoulders for the splash and another elimination. Off to Morrison who speeds things up. Mysterio hits a quick kick to the head and it’s time for Shad.

Now Cryme Tyme vs. Miz/Morrison was a feud ahead of its time: their internet shows got in an argument and a wrestling feud followed. Shad misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Miz. Since Miz isn’t quite the worker he is at this point, it’s back to Morrison very quickly. Shad runs over both members of the tag team and powerslams Miz down before hitting another overhyped elbow. Miz pops back up and hits the Reality Check (backbreaker/neckbreaker combo) to eliminate Shad.

It’s off to Shawn who comes in via a slow, dramatic step. He gets to face the Miz, meaning that entrance was wasted. To the shock of almost everyone, Miz takes over and double teams with Morrison to work over Shawn’s back. JBL, the slimmed down version, comes in to pound away and drop an elbow for two. Back to Miz who pounds away at Shawn’s bad eye, busting it open again.

Morrison comes in again to crank on a headlock and send Shawn over the top. Naturally Shawn skins the cat to come back in, as he has for years. At least Morrison jumps him when Shawn gets back inside. A forearm puts Shawn down and Morrison nips up in a little jab at HBK. Morrison misses the top rope elbow and it’s a double tag to bring in Miz vs. Mysterio. Rey hits a springboard hurricanrana into the 619 and the top rope splash puts Miz out.

JBL comes in and hits a hard shoulder to take Mysterio down. The crowd is WAY into Rey here. The fans think JBL can’t wrestle. Off to Morrison with a European uppercut followed by a backbreaker. Rey gets in a kick to the face but it’s off to JBL to hook an abdominal stretch with the leg being cranked on at the same time. Once Rey escapes, JBL uses something you don’t often see: a big boot to the back of the head. Rey blocks a belly to back superplex and hits a moonsault press to put JBL down and bust open his lip. There’s the tag to Shawn who hits the forearm and nip up of his own to send Bradshaw to the floor.

Shawn dives out to take Bradshaw out and loads up the superkick to send JBL running away. With JBL running away from the kick, Shawn slides back in and beats the count by one second, meaning JBL is gone via a countout. Morrison tries to superkick Shawn but Shawn is like boy these boots are older than you and kicks Morrison’s head off for the final pin and 3-0 victory.

Rating: C. This was fine but the ending was kind of anti-climatic. They were trying to save the Shawn pin over JBL which was a good idea as they would have a solid feud in the next few months which resulted in Shawn being JBL’s lackey because Shawn was poor. The guys other than the captains in this didn’t do much of note but that’s kind of the idea behind a match like this. Not bad but nothing great either.

HHH doesn’t think he needs to give his opinion on the Jeff Hardy situation. Either way, Hardy will be back. Tonight it’s going to be him vs. Kozlov and HHH promises to give the Russian his first defeat.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Candice Michelle, Jillian Hall

Smackdown: Michelle McCool, Victoria, Maria, Maryse, Natalya

Candice is a model who wasn’t horrible in the ring, Maryse is a French Canadian bombshell and Natalya is a member of the Hart Family. Beth is the captain of Team Raw (and is dating Santino Marella) and McCool is captain of Team Smackdown. They’re also Women’s and Divas Champions respectively. For the sake of simplicity, only Michelle McCool will be referred to as Michelle. Beth and Michelle start things off with Beth controlling via a top wristlock. Michelle uses some decent chain wrestling to set up a dropkick to send Beth backwards a bit.

Maryse tags herself in and gets in a brawl with her own partner Michelle. Team Raw: “LET THEM FIGHT!” Good thinking. After the brawl is broken up, it’s Beth vs. Maria with Maria avoiding a charge and hitting a slow motion headscissors. Off to Kelly vs. Maria and hopefully this doesn’t last long. Victoria tags herself in and gets caught in a hurricanrana by Kelly for the pin. Kelly tries the same thing on Maryse for two so Maryse hits a backbreaker and gets the pin as well.

It’s 4-4 now and Mickie comes in while swearing a bit. A Thesz Press puts Maryse down and it’s off to Michelle again. They try to bridge into a backslide, fail miserably, and try again to a standoff. McCool hits a Russian legsweep for two and Mickie hits a clothesline for the same. Maria’s save hits McCool by mistake, allowing Mickie to hit the jumping DDT and pin Michelle. Mickie gets in an argument with Beth and gets rolled up by Maryse to tie it right back up.

Off to Candice vs. Natalya and they trade some rollups for two. Natalya busts out a Sharpshooter (it is the Survivor Series after all) but Jillian makes the save. Candice hits a spear for a quick pin on Natalya and it’s 3-2 with Jillian, Beth and Candice vs. Maria and Maryse.

It’s Jillian vs. Maria with Jillian getting two off a Samoan Drop. Maria grabs a quick victory roll to eliminate Jillian and ten seconds later, Candice hits a northern lights suplex to put Maria out. Maryse hooks an inverted figure four on Candice and we’re down to one on one. Maryse gets in a few shots and a rollup but the Glam Slam (double chickenwing slam) gives Beth the final pin very quickly.

Rating: D. As decent as last year’s was, this felt like your traditional Divas match. You had some decent workers but most of the girls are models who are there because of how they look in swimsuits. I’ve seen worse matches and the right choice was the survivor, but this just didn’t work for the most part.

Matt Hardy says that Jeff was hit in the back of the head with a blunt object, ending any drug speculation.

We recap Undertaker vs. Big Show. Show isn’t scared of Undertaker so he’ll win the casket match tonight.

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Casket match and the casket gets the full druid entrance. I wonder if those guys hang out at catering after this. They have a nice casket this year too instead of the normally generic ones. Show took all of 2007 off and lost a ton of weight so he’s still kind of slim here. Well slim for him that is. I don’t think the bell rang but Show starts throwing punches anyway. One misses though and Undertaker tries to dump him into the casket to no avail.

They head to the floor and Undertaker’s headbutt has no effect. Show pounds away at the ribs and rams Undertaker face first into the announce table to daze the smaller giant. The announce table gets loaded up but Show headbutts him instead of putting Undertaker on the table. Undertaker grabs one of those big monitors WWE uses and bashes Show’s head in a few times with it. A BIG leg to put Show through the table in the huge spot of the match.

They slowly start heading back to the casket but take a detour into the ring instead. Old School is countered and things slow down again. There’s a side slam from Show as the crowd is a lot less interested than they were when Undertaker was on offense. The casket it opened and Undertaker is put inside but Show has to close the casket himself.

Since Show won’t close the lid, Undertaker comes back with a bunch of punches and the jumping clothesline. Show hits a big elbow in the corner to slow down Undertaker (and the crowd) again. For some reason Show loads up a Vader Bomb when Undertaker is half up and gets chokeslammed down.

The casket is opened again and a big boot to the side of Show’s head knocks him inside, but Show blocks the lid from being shut again. Back in and Show hits the chokeslam….then destroys the casket. Show starts walking away and there’s a wall of fire to stop him from leaving. Well of course there is. Undertaker goes after him and gets punched down again, but here are more druids with another casket.

Show punches Undertaker a bit more and stands the casket up so he can ram Undertaker into it and knock both of them down. The casket is stood up again but it’s open this time. Undertaker punches Show to the edge of the stage before whipping Show into the casket, causing it to fall and shut to give Undertaker the win.

Rating: D. This is considered a horrible casket match by some people but it’s really not that bad. It’s certainly a bad match but the ending was kind of creative and what are you expecting from Undertaker vs. Big Show? They’re going to hit each other a lot and it’s going to be slow, so why do people act surprised when any match with either of these two or Kane is the same formula? Not a good match but it’s definitely not terrible.

Carlito and Primo (cousins) hit on the Bellas but can’t tell them apart. In something I never thought I’d have to say again, the Gobbledygooker pops up and the Colons think it’s Charlie Haas, but of course he pops up in the room and the Gooker is played by the Boogeyman. This would be another pointless segment.

Randy Orton doesn’t want to be team captain but his team will win anyway. He implies Cody is the weak link of the team. Cody says that if Randy is eliminated first, it’s addition by subtraction. The team has to hold them apart.

Team Orton vs. Team Batista

Randy Orton, Mark Henry, William Regal, Cody Rhodes, Shelton Benjamin

Batista, Kofi Kingston, CM Punk, R-Truth, Matt Hardy

Cody is being mentored by Orton in a group called Legacy, Shelton is US Champion, Matt is ECW Champion and Punk/Kofi are Raw Tag Team Champions. Orton cost Punk the Raw World Title back in October, Hardy and Henry are feuding over the ECW Title, Truth is chasing Shelton’s Title and Regal has been helping Orton against Batista. This is quite the intricate match for a change.

Punk immediately charges at Regal and hits the GTS for the elimination in about ten seconds. Shelton gets a very fast two on Punk before pounding away on his back. Off to Kofi who grabs a front facelock. Kofi is even more over here than usual as he went to college in Boston. Kofi tries a monkey flip but Shelton lands on his feet and brings in Henry to pound away slowly.

Henry apparently gets tired after a few seconds so here’s Cody. Matt comes in, does nothing of note, and tags in Truth who pounds away. Striker talks about what a killing Truth is making as we can hear a lot of spots being called here tonight. I don’t know if the ring is mic’d loudly or what but you can hear all kinds of stuff here. Batista comes in and everybody runs until it’s only Cody left to face him. Rhodes quickly tags out to Shelton but Batista takes him down with ease and gets two via a powerslam. Off to Matt vs. Randy as things speed up. A bulldog gets two for Matt but a moonsault misses.

It’s off to Henry who lost the ECW Title to Hardy a few months ago. Cody comes in and chokes a bit but there’s the double tag to Truth vs. Shelton. A victory roll gets two for Truth and he does his backflip into the splits spot. The spinning forearm misses completely and Paydirt (a jumping downward spiral) gets the pin for Shelton. Kofi immediately comes in with a springboard cross body for two and a dropkick to put Shelton down.

The Boom Drop gets another two for Kofi but Henry blasts Kofi in the back of the head. Henry comes in legally now for more quick pounding and it’s finally off to Orton. Orton does his really slow stomp but the knee drop misses. Randy drapes him over the top rope and hits the hanging DDT for the elimination. Punk is immediately waiting on Orton, who gets beaten up for a few moments but gets in a rake to the eyes and tags out to Cody.

Rhodes works on the arm for a bit but gets caught by the knee and bulldog combo for two. Punk goes up but Manu (the other member of Legacy who didn’t last long) distracts him long enough for Cody to shove him off the top. A DDT eliminates Punk quickly and we’re down to 4-2 with Batista/Matt vs. Orton/Cody/Henry/Benjamin. Matt comes in and hits a quick Side Effect for two on Rhodes but it’s quickly back to Henry. Matt hits an elbow to the back of Henry’s head and manages to pull off the Side Effect for two. That’s about it for Hardy as the World’s Strongest Slam takes him out, leaving Batista all alone.

Batista immediately spears down Henry to make it 3-1 as Shelton comes in. Benjamin gets caught in a spinebuster almost immediately and the Batista Bomb gets is down to 2-1. Cody comes in and peppers Batista with some right hands before charging into a boot. Batista powerslams Rhodes down and says Orton is next. Batista hits the Bomb on Rhodes but Randy made a blind tag while Cody was in the air. The RKO gets the elimination and win for Rhodes and Orton.

Rating: B. This was a kind of throwback to the old school Survivor Series matches where the numbers finally caught up with the big face and he got beat. Orton vs. Batista was one of the big matches that WWE never really got to do on the scale I think they were hoping for. They would have a long match next month at Armageddon but that’s hardly the second main event at Wrestlemania which they were capable of having. Still though, good stuff here and the best match of the night by far.

Kozlov says he’ll win.

Hardy is officially out of the title match tonight.

The recap video is pretty pointless now because the video is mostly about Jeff. Kozlov is here because HHH wanted to have some big epic match with him that no one but him was interested in. Jeff is here because he keeps getting so close to winning the title so EVIL Vickie wouldn’t let him in the match. Jeff invaded the contract signing and beat up a lot of people until he was put in the match.

Smackdown World Title: Vladimir Kozlov vs. HHH

HHH is defending. After the big match intros we’re ready to go. The fans chant USA of course and for once it’s actually appropriate. Kozlov, the amateur wrestler/combat sports expert, takes it to the mat with amateur stuff. Now remember that, because it’ll become important later. HHH gets on the mat with him and hooks a headlock. The fans now chant boring as we hit a standoff. Now they want Hardy.

They trade arm holds on the mat and then trade even more arm holds on the same mat. Back up and HHH hits the high knee and a facebuster followed by the DDT for no cover. The fans chant for TNA before HHH hits the spinebuster. Kozlov counters the Pedigree and hits the headbutt to the chest to take HHH down. Vladimir sends HHH into the corner and out to the floor where very little happens.

Back in and a fall away slam gets two for the challenger and he fires some shoulders to the ribs. A powerslam gets another two and it’s off to a body grip to slow things down even more. Kozlov hits a pair of backbreakers for two and it’s back to that grip. HHH comes back with some right hands but gets powerslammed down for another two. A comeback by HHH is countered into a belly to belly as Taz says Kozlov is going to win, further dooming him to lose. HHH hits a Pedigree out of nowhere and here’s Smackdown GM Vickie Guerrero.

She says he’s here and makes it a triple threat, with the third man being the returning Edge. Edge does the psycho eyes on the way to the ring and I think a cameraman fell off the ramp as he was filming. Edge spears down HHH and here’s Jeff Hardy to destroy the Canadian. His chair shot hits HHH though, allowing Edge to steal the pin and the title.

Rating: D. There’s a lot to say here. First and foremost, as usual I disagree with anyone who said this was the worst match of the year. It’s arguably not even the worst match of the show, but think about this for a minute: are you telling me there isn’t some terrible Divas match somewhere in the year worse than this? Or that Honky Tonk Man vs. Santino Marella at Cyber Sunday was indeed better?

This match was indeed bad, but let’s think about this for a minute. Kozlov is supposed to be a combat sports expert and an amateur wrestler. So what did he do? He wrestled like his character was supposed to. Now was it boring? Absolutely. Was it a REALLY stupid move to put him in a World Title match? Absolutely. Were the fans interested? Not at all. If you want proof, back at Cyber Sunday the options for the title match were HHH vs. either guy, or a triple threat. The results were as follows:

Hardy – 57%

Triple Threat – 38%

Kozlov – 5%

Based on that alone, it’s clear that almost no one wanted to see HHH vs. Kozlov one on one. The interest just wasn’t there, so they booked a triple threat instead which there was interest in. Then they screw the fans out of their money by taking Jeff out of the match because of whatever their reasoning was. Then they flip the fans off AGAIN by having Hardy run in at the end. Hardy would pin Edge in another triple threat the next month to win the title in a shocker. Why this match didn’t happen here is beyond me, but again it’s screwing the fans out of what was advertised until the night before the show.

At the end of the day though, no one bought Kozlov as a real threat to the title. The guy just wasn’t going to be WWE Champion with the response he got, which is why Hardy was the interesting factor in this match. Without him, you have twelve minutes of your time being wasted until the ending, which should have been Hardy. Anyway, nothing to see here but it’s not the worst match of the year.

We recap Jericho vs. Cena. Jericho snuck into the Championship Scramble match last month at Unforgiven and stole the World Title while Cena was on the shelf. Tonight, Cena returns from a neck injury to try and get his title back. In his hometown. Against a guy that has literally only beaten him once. And we’re supposed to expect Jericho to have a chance because we’re supposed to ignore all that stuff.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

Jericho is defending of course. Cena almost immediately tries the FU but Jericho bails to the apron. Jericho comes back with a headlock which works on the neck followed by a shoulder block to take Cena to the floor. John holds his neck a lot and looks shaken. Back in and Cena pounds away in the corner as they’re hitting hard but the pace of the match is pretty slow if that makes sense. Jericho takes over and things continue to go slowly.

Cena comes back with the Throwback and goes up for the Fameasser, only to come down because that’s the move that hurt his neck in the first place. Jericho takes over again and things go slowly. A kick to the side of Cena’s head puts him on the floor for a nine count. Back in and Cena slugs away but gets sent right back to the floor. Jericho throws him into the steps and heads back in for a neck crank.

After the hold is broken, it’s time for more choking followed by a full nelson. The hold lasts almost a minute and a half but Cena blocks the bulldog. A shoulder puts Jericho down but the second shoulder connects. Jericho misses the Lionsault but the Shuffle is countered into the Liontamer (kneeling Walls of Jericho)! He hasn’t used that in years but it looks awesome. Cena escapes the hold so Jericho puts on the regular Boston Crab instead. Cena, after being in the hold over a minute straight, grabs the rope to escape. Back up and Cena hits an FU out of nowhere but can’t follow up.

Both guys head up to the top with Cena slamming him to the mat, followed up by the top rope Fameasser. Cena is all fired up now but Jericho breaks up the FU and hits a Codebreaker for a delayed two. Jericho takes over and hits a clothesline followed by an EVIL smirk. He smirks a bit too much though and Cena grabs the STFU. Cena has to try to pull the hold back to the middle of the ring and Jericho kicks him away. The champ tries a small package but Cena pulls him up into the FU for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. The match itself was fine but there was less drama in this than in a Donald Duck cartoon. At the end of the day, Cena does not lose to Jericho and he does not tap out no matter what. The wrestling was fine and it told a story and all that jazz, but I’d rather have a main event where I wasn’t sure what was going to happen than a match being designed for Cena to have everything come together and win and then everything coming together to win.

Cena celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been doing so many of these lately, but this wasn’t the most interesting show in the world. It was dull at times and almost felt like a chore to sit through. The first hour or so is WAY worse than the rest of the show, but even the last two thirds aren’t all that great. This didn’t work that well and it’s not something I want to see again.

Ratings Comparison

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Original: B+

Redo: C

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Original: D-

Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Team Orton vs. Team Batista

Original: C-

Redo: B

Edge vs. HHH vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Original: D+

Redo: D

John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

I’ve flipped on the two male Survivor Series matches but other than that it’s about the same.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/17/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2008-let-jericho-beat-cena-once-just-one-time/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2008
Date: November 23, 2008
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Matt Striker, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

So here we are at the most recent Survivor Series. This show is built around one thing and one thing only: the return of John Cena. He was coming back from being hurt by Batista, so therefore he’s the #1 contender to Chris Jericho’s title. Considering this is in his hometown, the ending is pretty clear. On the Smackdown side we have the triple threat between HHH, Kozlov and allegedly Hardy, but this was the infamous stairwell angle that I’ve never gotten why it had such a huge backlash.

More on that later though. Anyway, Hardy isn’t there so we have a one on one match allegedly. There’s also three Survivor Series matches so that should be good. They’re going with longer matches this year, which I’m fine with. Let’s get to it and end this review series as even I’m fed up with this show at this point.

The intro is all about Cena and survival. No other matches are mentioned at all. Good to know that the company thinks so much of its other wrestlers. The theme song is by AC/DC though so I can’t really complain. We immediately start talking about the Hardy incident where they claim that ABC, CNN and TMZ have all talked about this.

That would surprise me, but I’d be more surprised if they would flat out lie like that on a live PPV. That’s something that’s a bit hard to cover up, so maybe those outlets did. TMZ I could certainly see doing it. Anyway, Ross’ voice sounds a bit off. Maybe he’s sick or something. Let’s get to it.

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

HBK, Cryme Tyme, Great Khali, Rey Mysterio
JBL, Miz, Morrison, MVP, Kane

The feuds here are pretty simple. HBK vs. JBL, the tag teams, Kane vs. Rey and MVP and Great Khali aren’t really feuding but they just didn’t have anything else to do. My goodness Lillian is gorgeous. How can you have multiple sole survivors? The money aspect of JBL vs. HBK hasn’t kicked off yet but they’re fighting a bit. These entrances are taking WAY too long. To say Rey is over is the understatement of the year.

MVP is in the middle of his big losing streak here that would ultimately make him a face. Miz and Morrison are just awesome, plain and simple. We start with MVP vs. Rey which should be a decent little match. If his partner didn’t suck so much, JTG would be a decent wrestler. He’s certainly the more talented member of his team, but dang he’s small. He’s also eliminated by a Drive By from MVP. He literally turns around and is hit by a Khali chop and pinned.

Well that’s a decent way to get rid of two guys I guess. It’s big on big now with Kane vs. Khali. The camera shot they use of looking up at them is really a cool looking thing. With an assist from Khali, Rey takes out Kane with a very high splash. We move on to Rey vs. Morrison here which should definitely be good.

The commentators are getting a lot of little verbal jabs in at each other which are at least being taken well. Good grief Shad is scary strong. Someone finally points out that Shad wears weird boots when he wrestles.

The commentators get into a long and weird debate/joke fest about 80s bands which makes no sense. They’re interrupted by Miz taking out Shad with a Reality Check. It’s 3-3 here as it’s HBK, Rey and Khali against Miz, Morrison and JBL. We get HBK vs. Miz which is a pretty cool match that I’d like to see more of. After JBL and Miz punch the heck out of HBK’s face, his eye is busted open a bit.

I would love to see Shawn vs. Morrison in a 20 minute match once. It would be awesome. Morrison starts using Shawn’s old moves, after having beaten him with a superkick on Raw this past week. That’s a cool angle when you think about it. After a long time of being in trouble, HBK makes the tag and Rey comes in. He goes completely human highlight reel and takes out Miz like he’s a jobber.

The you can’t wrestle chants kick off for JBL, which I’ve always thought was unfair. He’s a big power brawler. It wouldn’t make sense to have him do flips and technical stuff. It’s not in his nature. Rey has been held down his entire career? Really Grisham? He’s a former world champion, the greatest cruiserweight of all time and a surefire hall of fame guy. He’s really been held down. Morrison gets a nice counter to the bulldog move that Rey does.

I like it when people use counters to signature moves. It’s nice to see as it can’t be as hard as it’s implied. I don’t think it’s fair to say that JBL can’t wrestle, but dang his offense was pretty limited. Almost all he’s used are punches, clubbing blows and shoulder blocks. Throw out a powerbomb or a suplex or something buddy. Shawn comes in and after the nip up throws out a crotch chop to Morrison, foreshadowing the inevitable DX reunion number 18,000.

HBK and JBL go to the floor and fight it out resulting in JBL getting counted out but in a way that reminds me of a video game for some reason. Shawn almost walks into what would have been a SICK Sweet Chin Music from Morrison but naturally he ducks and kicks John’s head off for the pin and the victory.

Rating: B+. This was about as good of an opener as we were going to get. All of the eliminations made sense which is a lot more than I can say for some past matches. The feuds were kept alive which is the biggest thing you can ask for also. Everyone but JBL looked on their game out there and the result was solid. This is the epitome of a good Survivor Series match.

We go to the back where Eve, who is about to fall out of her top, is with HHH. HHH says that Jeff will be back, but tonight it’s HHH vs. Kozlov, which is what it should have been all along. HHH says that tonight is Kozlov’s first Survivor Series, his first title match, and his first loss. That’s a very short but good promo that hit exactly what it was supposed to do. There was a real chance that the Russian got the belt tonight, despite everyone on here knowing how much of a disaster that would have been.

Raw Divas vs. Smackdown Divas

Raw: Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Kelly, Candice Michelle, Jillian
Smackdown: Michelle, Victoria, Maria, Maryse, Natalya

This is Survivor Series rules. Santino is with Beth here. The Divas are wearing their respective brands shirts which they all pull off. Yep, this is all about wrestling ability. Oh yeah Michelle and Beth are the respective champions here. Ok so more or less this is how the first few eliminations go: rollup, move, rollup, rollup, move. That’s the issue with the modern Divas.

So many of them win matches with nothing but rollups, which I can’t accept is due to anything other than a lack of knowing how to do anything else. That’s just sad. To be fair they’re not just school boys, but they’re all leverage moves or jackknife pins or something like that. That’s fine once in awhile but it eventually gets really old really fast. The Smackdown Divas keep arguing over who the captain is since Michelle is eliminated.

After that big rant, Jillian is taken out by a rollup. Within seconds a Northern Lights suplex takes out Maria. That’s another thing: the eliminations are coming WAY too fast. Seconds later, Maryse takes out Candice with an inverted figure four which in essence is a Sharpshooter where you sit on the leg instead of pulling on it. The final two are Beth and Maryse. Beth wins it with a big power move. This was just boring. Santino of course celebrates because he needs to validate his existence.

Rating: D-. This was just a waste of time. The eliminations were like 45 seconds apart, the moves were just repetitive, this accomplished nothing, and no one cared. That’s the main problems I can think of right now and I’m sure there were more in there. I don’t get why these matches happen. I guess to keep pests off of Vince’s back for doing swimsuit contests.

Matt Hardy says he doesn’t know what happened to Jeff. He knows that Jeff got hit in the head but that’s it.

We recap Taker vs. Big Show’s 10,387th feud which was exactly the same as it always had been. This time it’s a casket match. Big Show says Taker has no power over him. That more or less seals the ending of this match.

Big Show vs. Undertaker

Taker comes out first here to his mega entrance, which comes off as odd to me. Not the big entrance but that he comes out first. That’s just odd. Oh apparently that was just a group of random druids bringing the casket down. Yeah that’s just odd. I always love thinking about the druids getting lunch or something. It’s just amusing. Naturally the gong gets a bit pop.

This starts in the ring for about 12 seconds with most of that being Taker having the casket raised up. Immediately after that we’re on the floor with Show in control. I really don’t like these kinds of matches as they’re just so basic and simple that they’re not very interesting for the most part. Thankfully the ECW guys were allowed to leave.

I’ve always felt sorry for them having to sit out there all night long for a single match and then do nothing for the other two and a half hours but watch the show. Dang the announcers have nice chairs. A legdrop puts Show through the table because we’ve never seen that before. Hey we’re in the ring for a change! This is the big problem with feuds like this: we know Taker is going to win and that Show is just there to give Taker something to do until he’s back in the title hunt.

It gets old after awhile, but it’s kept Taker very fresh over the years so I can’t really complain. Show gets Taker down and has him in the casket but wants the referees to shut it, allegedly due to fear. Of course Taker pops up and starts his comeback. Ross calls Show a mastodon and before the word is out of his mouth he goes up for a Vader Bomb. It didn’t work but whatever.

Show gets out of the casket as apparently we need to do even more of the same stuff. The crowd is kind of into it but not really. They react to spots and that’s about all. With Taker down in the ring, Show tips the casket over and starts to leave. A wall of fire stops him and heeeeeeeere’s Taker. A bunch of druids bring out another casket as Taker is back up. They’re really making Show look strong here which is a good thing.

In something unique they stand the casket up. That’s new if nothing else. After the next ridiculous comeback from Taker, he beats on Show a bit and then Irish whips him into the standing casket which falls over and closes to end it. That was actually a cool ending but it got ZERO reaction. I mean no one did anything at all when it happened.

Rating: D+. This was a waste of time. No one cared, mainly due to who was in it. There was no reason at all to watch this and it was just boring. These two have fought so many times and had so many boring matches that there’s just no reason to watch it. The ending was cool if nothing else, which is why it passes.

Buy Armageddon! We promise it won’t suck!

The Colons hit on the Bellas, who are indeed hot despite what some would like you to believe. Of all things, the Gobbledygooker comes in. I wish I was making that up. They think it’s Charlie Haas, but he walks up. It’s the Boogeyman.

Team Orton is in the back. Orton says he’d rather be fighting Jericho, leading to him and Cody arguing. Legacy hadn’t started yet but it was coming very soon.

Team Batista vs. Team Orton

Batista, Matt Hardy, CM Punk, Kofi Kingston, R-Truth
Orton, Rhodes, Shelton Benjamin, Regal, Mark Henry

No recap here, which more or less is the case because there’s very little story. The main thing here is about Orton and Batista. Orton put Batista out with a punt a few months earlier and is ticked off about it, leading to this. Punk and Kofi are tag champions here in the middle of their completely forgotten title reign that would end at the hands of Miz and Morrison soon after this. Matt is the ECW Champion here, in the middle of a pretty good feud with Mark Henry.

As for the other guys, there’s really nothing here. The Draft would change a lot around in 5-6 months, but until then there was just not a lot going on in the midcard. This match really was just kind of thrown together and there wasn’t a lot there for it. Rhodes has Manu with him here. The two of them and DiBiase had been trying to get Orton to join them but that wouldn’t happen for about two more months, forming Legacy.

Oh and Regal is IC Champion here, but he would lose it to Punk very soon. Speaking of Punk, he hits the GTS on Regal inside of 15 seconds to take him out. I’m assuming an injury or something like that there, but whatever. Kofi and Shelton get in there and just tear the place up for a few seconds. Truth really does have a cool look to him. Striker says that he’s making a killing here, which is amusing. The crowd is more or less dead here.

The announcers make sure to let us know that Orton vs. Batista is about Evolution. How can the feuds that came from a stable last longer than the stable itself did? I’ve never gotten that. Oh I think Shelton and R-Truth are having a mini feud here but no one really cared about it.

Like I said the feuds here were more or less thrown together and meant nothing at all. Oh I do remember R-Truth and Shelton. I watched them at a house show for the US Title. It more or less sucked. Shelton is US Champion here in case I forgot to mention that.

Truth is just sloppy. He walks into Paydirt though and it’s tied at 4. Kofi comes in off the top and Striker says the Jamaican is getting high. That’s just amusing. MVP would soon turn face and take the belt from Shelton, although not until just before Mania. Orton comes in and the match just slows down so much it’s insane. The second rope DDT takes out Kofi.

I would have thought the hair would absorb a lot of the impact there. Punk and Orton never got the match or angle that they should have after Orton cost him the world title at Unforgiven. That’s a shame as they would have had a great feud I think, or at least a great match or two. Naturally Punk was given a big thing of nothing like the tag titles. Granted he won the IC Title very soon, breathing some life back into it.

He would also get the MITB and world title again, so maybe I have no idea what I’m talking about. In what can only be called a shocker, Rhodes hits a DDT on Punk for the clean pin which has to be the biggest win of his career. I get the potential in him, but eventually he has to actually do something with it, and the same is true of DiBiase. We’re on to Henry vs. Hardy with the former slamming the heck out of Hardy to take him out.

Less than ten seconds later Henry is speared out by Batista. It’s 3-1 now in case you were wondering. We have Batista against Shelton, Rhodes and Orton. The Batista Bomb on Shelton makes is what would become Legacy vs. Batista. Dave runs through Rhodes but a quick tag from Orton saves him.

Despite Orton gyrating and jumping up and down waiting on Batista to turn around, the Animal doesn’t hear him. The RKO ends this, setting up the complete throw away match between Batista and Orton at Armageddon. Remember that match? I didn’t think so.

Rating: C-. I didn’t really like it. I liked Orton winning the way he did, but the whole thing went too fast. It wasn’t bad for sure, but it certainly wasn’t anything great. The complete lack of feuds hurt things a lot here too. Having so many people that had nothing to do with the main feud or anything like it hurt things. It was ok, but not great.

Kozlov says something that was supposed to be English I think. Never mind it’s Russian.

We recap the three way feud, despite Hardy not being here tonight. I would recap it, but it means nothing since Jeff isn’t wrestling and he’s the focus of the package.

WWE Title: Vladamir Kozlov vs. HHH

We get a bell for the introductions and a bell for the actual match, so technically the match was paused for the majority of the action. That joke has long since passed being funny. Naturally the USA chants start up. Within seconds the fans are chanting boring. More on that later. They’re doing a very mat based technical style here with some submission stuff. The we want Hardy chant is going strong for about 12 seconds.

A TNA chant starts up as they speed up the pace a bit. It’s not bad, but it’s a different style that I don’t think a lot of the people are into at all. It’s really not that bad. HHH is fighting a guy that’s never lost so he’s afraid to use his best stuff. He’s feeling out Kozlov at first to avoid making mistakes. What’s so weird about that? It’s a thinking man style from the Cerebral Assassin.

Why is that bad? I really don’t like the way Scott Armstrong counts. He’s the blonde referee that has that hitch in his count. It’s so annoying. This goes on for awhile, and while it’s kind of boring, it’s certainly not bad. From out of nowhere, HHH gets a Pedigree. He gets ready to cover him, but Vickie appears on the stage, saying that it will be a triple threat and that he’s here!

Naturally it’s not Jeff but rather the returning Edge. He hits a spear on HHH but Jeff runs out and beats up Edge. Ok wait, hang on a second. Jeff was ok to do the run in (this if from kayfabe mind you) but couldn’t wrestle? I thought he was supposed to be extreme or whatever. That makes little sense. Anyway, Jeff hits HHH and Kozlov with a chair but gets speared. Edge covers HHH and wins the freaking title again.

Rating: D+. This is going to be a long rating. Ok, so the match was pretty boring. Was it bad though? Not really. There was indeed a story there though as I outlined earlier on. Kozlov is supposed to be this master fighter and grappler, so what did he do you ask? He used a bunch of grapples and submission holds to wear down HHH. In other words, he did what his gimmick called for him to do.

HHH was wrestling smart, so he did what his gimmick called for him to do. The Edge twist felt cheap, but it’s nothing that he hasn’t done a dozen times or so already. However, Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter called this the worst match of the year. That my friends, is nonsense. The Divas match earlier was light years worse than this.

I would say that’s Meltzer simply continuing his quest to make WWE and Vince seem like the scum of the earth because for some reason he hates them both. He also called the Hardy angle the most tasteless of the year. This is one that I just do not get. Ok, let’s see. The reason the angle was considered in poor taste was Jeff’s past drug issues.

Tell me two things: when was it ever mentioned on WWE television that Jeff had drug issues, and when was it ever mentioned that this incident was drug related? Dang on the freaking broadcast they said he was hit on the head and attacked. It was an angle, nothing more. The drug thing was never mentioned once other than by people on the internet, but of course this is just so tasteless.

We’ll have Vickie Guerrero live off of Eddie’s name and make out with every guy under the freaking sun, but an angle that for all of 16 hours came close to hinting that Jeff might have had a relapse without ever saying it and clearing it up later that night was tasteless? Give me a break. It can be implied that Vince has slept with everything on the face of the earth and has a bastard midget son, but that’s not tasteless.

Women are flat out sex objects and nothing more, but that’s not tasteless. So it’s ok to do all that stuff, but having Jeff Hardy be found unconscious without ever saying what might have happened until on the show where they say he was attacked by a person and not an illegal substance is reprehensible? That’s the most hypocritical thing I’ve ever heard. If Jeff had another relapse, they wouldn’t have mentioned him being found out cold. Vince isn’t that stupid.

This reeked of angle the minute it broke at like 2:30 am the night before a PPV, but of course, it was tasteless right? Give me a freaking break. This is what gives the IWC a bad name: people making a huge deal about absolutely nothing at all when it was so clearly an angle. I said that the night it happened. I said it because it was obvious, but apparently Dave “he is risen again” Meltzer thinks otherwise, so it must be true right?

It doesn’t matter though as he’s barely a wrestling reporter anymore. Sorry I really can’t stand that guy. He does what all of us do and makes a fortune off of it. I’m sure someone will yell at me and tell me how brilliant he is, but no, not really. He’s good, but overrated. Ok, rant over for now at least.

Oh and it was revealed that Matt, Jeff’s brother, was behind everything. Jeff would win the title the next month in a freaking shocker anyway.

We jump from that to a recap of Jericho and Cena, which wasn’t really a feud but WWE kept trying to convince us of that anyway. Jericho had stolen the title at Unforgiven but as soon as Cena was announced as returning, the inevitable was clear. Oh and Batista got the world title for a week for no apparent reason in between. That’s about it.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

The ending here is about as obvious as you could imagine. Cena’s pop is massive here. They try to make it sound like Cena has been out for a year when it’s been about three months or less. Jericho works on the neck, which here at least makes sense. I get it three months after an injury, but when they reference it a year and a half later, it loses its effect quite a bit. This is really formula based stuff but it’s working ok.

Cena has an early flurry and then Jericho takes over for the majority of the match, working the neck as much as he can. There’s nothing wrong with that as it’s the same thing that worked for Hogan for years if not decades. Jericho’s three finishers all hit and of course none of them work. This is the longest match of the night but it’s likely going to have the least amount said about it. There’s little drama here and after that initial pop, the crowd has been ok at best.

This crowd has completely sucked all night long. Naturally, Cena survives everything and hits the massive FU to get the title back despite Jericho hitting everything he could on him. That closes the show, which is exactly what it should have been.

Rating: B. This was good enough. There was zero drama, but they didn’t bury Jericho. Cena certainly should have won as Jericho was just keeping the title warm for him for awhile anyway. There’s nothing wrong with that. Jericho was a horrible champion anyway and always has been, so this wasn’t a big deal at all. Cena was clearly going to win, and sometimes that’s how shows should end.

Overall Rating: C-. This had its moments, but overall it’s just not that great. With six matches you run the risk of messing up on one or two of them and screwing the whole show up which I think is what this show did. Having Hardy be pulled probably wasn’t the smartest thing in the world as I guess they didn’t want to take the spotlight away from Cena. I get that, but it’s still a good bit of a bait and switch which is the most annoying thing that a promoter can do.

It’s not as bad as Randy vs. Jake in 91, but it’s far from good. Anyway, this wasn’t a great show at all and it pales in comparison to 07. Still, it’s not awful, but it’s certainly not worth going out of your way to see. Not really recommended.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2007
Date: November 18, 2007
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz, Joey Styles

The company has finally settled down to the point where major changes are mostly done. The three rosters are working well enough and talent is moving from show to show fast enough to keep things interesting. There has however been one change, though it’s more the end of an experiment: all pay per views are now done by all brands, meaning there are no more Raw or Smackdown pay per views. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how this started twenty years ago, as you would expect it to. It also talks about the main event matches tonight, as you would expect it to as well.

ECW Title: CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz

Punk is defending and Miz (a reality TV star turned wrestler) and Morrison (formerly Johnny Nitro) are Smackdown Tag Team Champions. The team of course jumps CM at the same time because one on one, neither have a chance to beat Punk. Punk kicks the tar out of Miz’s head and gets a quick two on Morrison. Both challengers are sent to the floor where Punk takes both of them out with a suicide dive. Back in and Punk gets caught in a double suplex after the springboard clothesline fails.

Miz and Morrison double team Punk but Miz is the first of the heels to go extra heel, dumping Morrison out to the floor. He hooks a chinlock on Punk but has to let go to knock Morrison back to the outside. Punk kicks Miz in the head but Morrison comes back in with a backbreaker to CM followed by a cobra clutch (called a Japanese sleeper by Joey Styles).

Miz pulls Punk to the floor and rams him into the concrete to get us down to the challengers fighting. Morrison sends him into the corner chest first and hits the yet to be named Starship Pain for two. Punk comes back in and hurricanranas Morrison off the top into a powerbomb from Miz in a SWEET looking move. That only gets two but it got a BIG reaction from the crowd.

With Morrison pretty much dead, Punk kicks Miz in the face for two and hits the knee/bulldog combo for the same. Punk hits a backbreaker on Miz but Morrison grabs a rollup and trunks on the champ for two. Morrison escapes the GTS but gets knocked to the floor, allowing Punk to hit the GTS on Miz for the pin to retain.

Rating: C. Other than that hurricanrana/powerbomb spot, this was only ok. Punk had to carry the whole thing but you could see something special in Miz. It’s a little easier to see it now, but some people thought Miz would be the bigger deal because of this match. I’m not sure if I’d agree based on this match, but Miz did indeed look better than Morrison here. This was a pretty good choice for an opener, but the execution wasn’t great because Punk didn’t have enough to work with.

We recap MVP turning on Matt Hardy and taking out his knee. They had been partners for a long while before this but everyone thought MVP was evil the whole time, and this was the not very shocking turn.

MVP says that Matt won’t be competing tonight because he needs crutches to get by. That doesn’t surprise MVP, because Matt has always needed a crutch, be it either Jeff or MVP. Oh and he’s better than Matt.

Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla

One fall to a finish here and Beth is Women’s Champion. Maria is a gorgeous ditzy redhead, Torrie is a bombshell, McCool is a pretty blonde, Phoenix is a very strong woman, Jillian is ditzy as well and Layla is a British woman who dances a lot. The Divas Title doesn’t exist yet which is how things should have stayed. Melina falls off the apron during her splits entrance which is worth a chuckle. The second attempt works and thankfully she’s smiling after screwing it up.

Victoria and Michelle start things off with Michelle taking over with a headlock. A big boot puts Victoria (later Tara in TNA) down and it’s off to Torrie who isn’t very good in the ring. Victoria kills her mostly dead with a side slam and it’s off to Layla who is so bad here that she can’t even beat up Torrie. Kelly and Jillian come in and Jillian tries to scream a bit, only to get rolled up for two.

Thankfully Beth comes in to flatten Maria before handing it right back to Layla. Actually make that Melina, who misses a charge at Maria and crotches herself, allowing for the hot tag to Mickie. James beats up everyone in sight, has her partners take out Beth, and hits the Long Kiss Goodnight (spinning kick to the face after a kiss) on Melina for the pin.

Rating: D. Yes, the match sucked. Yes, most of the women in this are horrible wrestlers. Yes, if you’re complaining about these things, you’re missing the point. This was pure fan service as you had ten girls in either tight or barely there outfits and one hot woman kicking another hot woman in the head. If you’re looking for a wrestling match here, you’re in the wrong place.

Coach and Regal are in the back looking smug. Hornswoggle, who is Vince’s son at this point, is pacing very nervously. Remember that he faces Khali tonight.

Orton says history isn’t going to be made tonight. He’s going to beat Shawn because if Shawn uses the superkick, Shawn loses the match.

Shawn is here for revenge tonight because Orton has tried to hurt him and take his livelihood. Therefore tonight, Shawn is going to take the title.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Cade and Murdoch (two rednecks) are defending. Rhodes (Dusty’s son) is brand new at this point and spent weeks getting beaten up by Holly before Holly respected him enough to team with him. Cody and Cade start things off with the rookie getting hiptossed down. The crowd pretty much died as soon as the bell rang, which should tell you about the tag team situation at the time as these are the best Raw had for their belts.

Off to the very redneck Murdoch who chops away but gets caught in a headlock. Yeah Cody didn’t quite get anywhere as a worker for a long time. Holly comes in and is immediately beaten down by Cade. The crowd is reacting a bit so it’s not totally dead but it’s nothing special. The heels are sent into each other and fall out to the floor as Holly takes over. We actually get a HOLLY chant for the only time I can ever remember.

A rollup gets two for Hardcore and it’s off to Murdoch via a blind tag. Holly gets his head kicked off and things slow back down again. The champs tag in and out a lot before Cade picks up Murdoch to drop him down with a legdrop for two. We hit the chinlock on Holly which goes nowhere so Holly suplexes Trevor down. Cade misses an elbow drop but Holly still can’t tag out.

Cade tries that dropping Murdoch into a legdrop move again but as almost always is the case, it doesn’t work this time. Warm tag brings in Cody who hits a missile dropkick on Lance for two. Holly and Cade fall to the floor and Murdoch hits something resembling a Canadian Destroyer (flip piledriver, though this was much more like a sunset flip than a piledriver) to retain.

Rating: C-. Another so-so match here but at the end of the day, it’s Hardcore Holly and a rookie Cody Rhodes vs. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch. That’s only going to take you so far as the fans aren’t going to care about it for the most part. I don’t get why they didn’t change the titles here as Holly and Rhodes would get the belts in a month (and hold them for SIX MONTHS) anyway.

The announcers explain the concept of a Survivor Series match to the uninitiated. That’s something you hardly ever see anymore: a basic explanation of WHAT IS GOING ON. Sometimes you need to slow things down a bit and tell people how things work. If you’re flipping through the channels and see something flashy like wrestling, you’re likely to stop but if you have no idea what’s going on, you’re not likely to stay. Gorilla Monsoon was a master at doing this.

Team HHH isn’t worried about being down 5-4 coming into the match (Matt Hardy was hurt) but Kane says he isn’t an underdog. We recap the Katie Vick angle (HHH: “Uh…..yeah sorry about that.” If you don’t know what this is, be glad and keep it that way.) and Jeff reminds HHH that he put him in the hospital. HHH is sorry about that too and says tonight they can unite in the idea of doing something terrible to someone else.

Team HHH vs. Team Umaga

HHH, Kane, Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio

Umaga, Mr. Kennedy, MVP, Finlay, Big Daddy V

Big Daddy V is a much fatter Mabel. Kennedy’s mic doesn’t work for the live intro at first so we can only hear the ending. Jeff is Intercontinental Champion and MVP is US Champion. Remember that we’re starting at 5-4 because Matt is gone. Rey and Kennedy get things going with Kennedy using a rare power advantage to take over. Kennedy pounds in the corner but gets caught in a sunset bomb before it’s off to Jeff for a BIG pop. Rey and Jeff combine for some Poetry in Motion and Kennedy is in trouble.

Scratch that trouble as Jeff runs into an elbow (JBL: “That’ll knock the purple out of your hair!”) and it’s off to MVP. MVP limps a bit which apparently is a fake injury. Or maybe he’s making fun of Matt Hardy. Off to the 550lb Big Daddy V who uses his big fat man offense on Jeff, before stupidly throwing Jeff to the corner for a tag to Kane.

V almost immediately belly to belly suplexes Kane down for two but Kane comes back with some clotheslines in the corner. A top rope clothesline puts V down again but Kane has to chokeslam Finlay. V hits a Samoan Drop and a big elbow on Kane for the upset elimination. HHH comes in and hits the facebuster on the monster but gets caught by a clothesline to shift the momentum right back.

We get the match that everyone is looking forward to in HHH vs. Umaga and the fans don’t react at all. Umaga takes him down with a belly to belly of his own and a headbutt has HHH in trouble. Umaga misses a middle rope headbutt and there’s the hot tag to Rey. Rey pounds away but almost immediately gets knocked down by the other monster. Mysterio goes after the leg but a hurricanrana is just a bad idea. Actually it isn’t as he swings Umaga into the 619, followed by a springboard seated senton for two. Umaga unleashes a BIG SAMOAN SCREAM and hits a spinning release Rock Bottom and the Spike to eliminate Rey.

So it’s all five villains vs. Jeff and HHH, and it’s not that the two superheroes are likely to run through all five and win or anything like that of course. Jeff vs. Kennedy starts things off and Hardy is in trouble quickly. I don’t think Jeff really gets going until he looks like he’s been thrown out of a building though. Jeff comes back with a dropkick but the slingshot dropkick in the corner misses due to an MVP assist. Cole talks about how that’s the second time MVP has caused that move to miss in three days. JBL: “Maybe MVP is just smarter than the Hardys.”

Off to MVP who hooks a chinlock on Jeff which goes on for a while. Jeff fights up but gets gets caught in a fireman’s carry drop. MVP starts talking trash to the fans and walks into a Twist of Fate to make it 4-2. Kennedy is in next and walks into an enziguri, which allows for the tag off to HHH. A high knee sets up a clothesline for two for HHH followed by a spinebuster. HHH sees the human whale known as Big Daddy V coming and avoids an elbow which crushes Kennedy and allows HHH to make it 3-2.

V gets both superheroes on the floor and crushes Hardy against the post to put him down for awhile. Back in the ring HHH and Hardy avoid a charge in the corner and hit a double DDT on V for the elimination. I’ve always wondered how basic moves when a monster is fresh is enough to eliminate them. These guys have no stamina at all.

It’s HHH/Jeff vs. Finlay/Umaga if you’re keeping track. Finlay comes in and pounds away on HHH while JBL talks about how great Finlay is. Finlay goes to the middle rope and jumps into HHH’s boot to put both guys down. Hot tag brings in Jeff for a hard Irish whip into the corner and the slingshot dropkick for two. Jeff goes to the apron and is immediately drilled by Umaga to give the evil foreigners control again. Finlay whips Jeff into the corner but gets caught by a Whisper in the Wind. A mule kick staggers Umaga and there’s the hot tag to HHH to meet Finlay. The high knee puts Finlay down and there’s a spinebuster to follow it up.

The Pedigree is loaded up but Umaga kicks HHH’s head off to break it up. The Celtic Cross (White Noise) is escaped and there’s the Pedigree to make it 2-1. Umaga DESTROYS HHH in the corner but the running attack misses by a mile. The Pedigree and Swanton Bomb connect and we’re done.

Rating: B-. The match was pretty fun stuff but once we got down to 5-2, it was a matter of guessing what order the five were going out in rather than who was going to win. That being said, it’s probably the right move as HHH would move on from Umaga after this and take to feud with Orton. That feud would follow Hardy vs. Orton at the Rumble, so this was definitely a launching pad for the two survivors back to the main event.

Shaquille O’Neal is here.

Hornswoggle is still nervous in the back. Tonight’s match is another of those tough love things from Vince. Speaking of the boss, he comes in and Hornswoggle immediately hugs his leg. This is one of those things that I think WWE missed about Hornswoggle: he acts like a child.

Allow me to lose control for a second. HE HAS A FULL BEARD! THE GUY IS IN HIS TWENTIES! HORNSWOGGLE IS NOT A CHIL……why am I annoyed by this? It’s Hornswoggle. Vince says he made this match because Hornswoggle is a McMahon and therefore has to rise to the occasion. He compares this to his battles with Turner and the US government. Vince gives him a pep talk and Hornswoggle is ready.

Here’s Shane McMahon to the arena, rocking a suit. Shane introduces Vince and apparently they’ll be in the corner of Hornswoggle tonight. Well that’s nice of them. JBL says this is going to be Biblical. Cole: “This isn’t the Bible.”

Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali

Runjin Singh, Khali’s manager, says we should have the wrestlers get together for the reading of the rules. This results in Singh talking over the referee as he translates. The fans want Shaq (Shaquille O’Neal) but they get the bell instead. The fans realize Shaq is here and Vince tells him to sit down. Vince tells the fans he doesn’t care what they want.

Hornswoggle takes off his jacket and hat and kicks Singh in the face. He kicks at the legs of Khali…and wisely runs away. Singh runs his mouth some more and gets GREEN MIST IN THE FACE! Hornswoggle dives on Singh and pounds away before hiding from Khali under the ring. The small guy finds that Irish club and calls Khali in but the stick is of course caught. Khali kicks him down but before the Vice Grip can go on, Finlay runs in for the save and face turn.

Rating: D-. Well, there was at least a purpose so it’s not a total failure. It should have been on Raw though and the whole story really wasn’t the most entertaining. At the end of the day, this is a big comedy angle designed to get……actually I’m not sure who this is designed to get over. Not that it worked anyway but some clarification would be nice.

Finlay beats up Singh and Khali with the club. It would eventually be revealed that Finlay was Hornswoggle’s father, but I’m not quite sure why Vince agreed to the whole thing in storyline.

Alfonso Soriano, a baseball player, is here.

We recap Shawn vs. Orton. Shawn had the title won in a previous match but Orton intentionally got himself disqualified and then punted Shawn to the shelf for a few months. Shawn admitted he wanted revenge but Vince banned the superkick for no apparent reason other than being evil.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending, if Orton gets DQ’ed the title changes, Shawn can get no more shots if he loses, and if Shawn attempts to use the Superkick, he loses the match. Shawn almost immediately goes to the cravate and Orton spends nearly two minutes trying to fight out of it. Now that’s a (European) headlock. Orton escapes in the corner and Shawn raises his leg for the kick but the referee says that wasn’t an attempt. It’s going to be one of those referees I guess.

Orton drops down as Shawn runs the ropes so Shawn gets on Randy’s back and chokes away. The hold switches to a front facelock as they’re spending a lot of time in holds so far. Randy finally gets to the floor where Shawn fakes diving over the top so he can dropkick him through the ropes before faking ANOTHER dive and hitting an Asai moonsault in a good sequence. Back in and Orton rolls through a crossbody for two before hitting an uppercut to take over.

Shawn fights up and throws on the required Sharpshooter until Orton finally makes the rope. Orton comes back with a thumb to the eye and snaps Shawn across the top rope to take over. The Elevated DDT hits for two. It’s off to a chinlock by Orton as the hold marathon continues. It’s not boring or bad but it’s a very different way of going about a match.

Shawn fights back but walks into a dropkick for two. He catches another dropkick in mid air and slams Randy down a few times before hitting the top rope elbow for two. By instinct, Shawn tunes up the band but he fakes Orton out by making him duck and grabs a rollup for two. Brilliant psychology there.

In a move I was shocked to see at the time, Shawn puts on a Crossface. Remember that this is just five months after Benoit so that’s not a move you would have expected to see here. Orton finally gets a leg over the rope and Shawn looks spent from that not working. He tries the hold again but Randy clotheslines his head off for two. Orton hits the backbreaker and loads up the same Punt which kept Shawn out for five months.

Randy gets a running start but Shawn grabs an ankle lock with a grapevine to make Orton scream. Orton uses the good leg to kick Shawn away and break the hold. Why don’t more people do that to Angle? Michaels tries the Figure Four but Orton kicks him into the post. Shawn pulls up the foot for the kick but since he has to stop, Orton hits the RKO for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B. I was digging the psychology here as Shawn had to come up with all kinds of ways to beat Orton instead of the superkick. It says a lot about Shawn that the only way they could have Orton be able to hang in a fight with him was to take away Shawn’s big move. Orton would hold the title for another five months or so until HHH (of course) took it away from him.

Orton demands that Shawn say Orton is the future but Shawn is pretty out of it. Not out of it enough though as there’s the superkick we were waiting on.

Cole is talking about the main event and SAVE US. For those of you unfamiliar, this was a series of videos that popped up at random on shows with what looked like the Matrix announcing that someone was coming to SAVE US. It would be revealed the next night that it was the return of Chris Jericho.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. Undertaker. Batista lost the belt to Undertaker at Wrestlemania and they feuded for the title on a few PPVs. After a cage match on Smackdown, Edge cashed in the MITB contract and won the title from Undertaker. Later, Edge was hurt and had to vacate the belt, which was won by Khali. Batista eventually beat Khali for the belt and Undertaker came back to challenge him for it.

They fought at Cyber Sunday with Batista winning, which made them 1-1 with a few draws. Undertaker wanted one more match and Batista was perfectly cool with that, but Undertaker wanted it in the Cell. See how that worked? It was a natural progression with the Cell being the FINAL match between them (one on one at least). That’s a logical progression that you rarely get anymore.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Batista is defending. Undertaker charges to start and is caught in a headlock before getting run over by Big Dave. Undertaker shrugs it off and tries an early chokeslam but Batista fights out of it. This is one of those feuds where you don’t bother with the basic stuff and go with the big power moves because that’s all that’s going to have any effect. Undertaker clotheslines him down and pounds away in the corner. We’re still in the early going here so this doesn’t mean a lot yet.

The Snake Eyes and big boot get two for Undertaker and it’s already chair time. Batista hits a BIG spear to take Undertaker down and gets the chair. That goes badly for the champ as Undertaker kicks the chair back into his face and gets two off a clothesline. They head outside and Undertaker keeps control with a solid shot into the steps. Batista gets raked against the Cell and there’s the legdrop on the apron.

To stay on the throat, Undertaker puts the chair over Batista’s throat and slams the bottom of the chair into the steps. The champ is bleeding from the mouth now. Back in and Undertaker covers by driving a forearm into the throat. Undertaker is kind of the heel in this match, which says A LOT about how over Batista was here. Back in, Undertaker loads up Old School but Batista catches him in the spinebuster in a cool counter.

They slug it out and Batista takes over with a clothesline that gets two. Batista hits a powerslam and takes it back to the floor. They’ve done a solid job here of having both guys dominate for a long stretch which usually works well for a big time match. Undertaker whips Batista into the Cell to take over again so maybe what I just said is nonsense. Batista gets rammed head first into the steel and things are starting to pick up.

A chair shot keeps Batista down and the champ is cut open on the forehead. Batista blocks Old School again and hits a superplex to put both guys down. As Batista is crawling over to him, the Dead Man tries the Hell’s Gate (triangle choke) but it’s not on full. Batista makes the rope and heads to the floor for a breather, setting up the Undertaker Dive over the top rope.

Undertaker picks up the steps and tries to ram Batista with them, but the champ pulls himself up using the cage and kicks them back into Undertaker’s face. Batista picks up the steps and just rams Undertaker in the head with them four or five times to draw blood. Back in and Batista does the stupid thing of punching Undertaker in the corner and gets a Last Ride for his efforts. That only gets two and the pop isn’t huge from the crowd. They know we’re getting A LOT of finishers before a pin here.

There’s a chokeslam but it only gets two. The Tombstone is countered into a spinebuster for two and there’s another spinebuster for good measure. It’s table time and Batista easily powerbombs him through it….for two. There’s the pop from the crowd on the kickout that we were looking for. Now the Animal loads up the steps but Undertaker backdrops him onto said steps for two. The Tombstone hits….for two again, making Batista one of a handful of people to survive the Last Ride, Tombstone and a chokeslam.

Undertaker KILLS Batista with a Tombstone on the steps but someone pulls the referee out of the ring at two. It’s the returning Edge, who I presume was hiding under the ring the whole time. He steals a camera and clocks Undertaker with it before hitting a Conchairto on the steps. Batista has no idea this is going on after the Tombstone. Edge pulls the champ on top and the pin is pretty much academic.

Rating: B+. This was very good but it never quite got to that level that they were hoping for it to I don’t think. The problem is this was match was based on respect instead of hatred which takes a lot out of a match like this. Edge would win the title in a triple threat next month and eventually lose it to Undertaker at Wrestlemania.

After the Cell is raised, Edge beats on Undertaker some more to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a nice surprise. The Tag Team Title match is some uninspired stuff but other than that (ignoring the non-match between Khali and Hornswoggle) there’s nothing bad on here at all. The Divas match is what it is and if the worst thing I have to do is look at Kelly Kelly and Maria in barely there shorts for five minutes, I’ve got a good show on my hands. The big matches delivered and the other matches aren’t bad so this is a solid show all around and worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz

Original: B-

Redo: C

Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla

Original: D

Redo: D

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Original: D

Redo: C-

Team HHH vs. Team Umaga

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Great Khali vs. Hornswoggle

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: D+

Redo: B

Batista vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

The main thing I’ve learned about myself from these redos is that I was a lot looser with my grades back then. The redo grades here are a lot more toned down and it’s a bit harder to please me now.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/16/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2007-batista-vs-undertaker-in-the-cell/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2007
Date: November 18, 2007
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Tazz, JBL, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Joey Styles

With another year comes not a lot of change. Orton is world champion here having taken out HHH for the belt at No Mercy in their first last man standing match. Tonight he takes on HBK in another of his random filler feuds before Cena gets back from injury. The Game is the other major player on Raw (shocking isn’t it?) as he’s feuding with Umaga for your Survivor Series match of the night.

Over on Smackdown, we only have one big match, but it’s a major one as Taker is challenging Batista for the world title in a Hell in a Cell match. If nothing else they’re keeping it big. Oh and one other thing: Hornswoggle is Vince’s son now.

Yes, that painfully stupid and bad storyline has finally begun as he’s already dropped the Cruiserweight Title because Vince doesn’t like small wrestlers. Finally, we have my boy Punk defending his ECW Title against the newly crowned tag team champions of Miz and Morrison. That should be good. Let’s get it started.

Hey, take a wild guess as to what the opening video is about. If you guessed Survival, you’re of about average intelligence as the show is called Survivor Series. If you guessed that it sucked, then you’ve been paying attention to my reviews. Yep, this is nothing of note. We’re starting with the ECW Title match, so the first two voices that we hear are Joey and Tazz. Surprisingly we don’t hear their colleagues yet, which is odd indeed.

ECW Title: CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz

Punk took the belt off of Morrison and Miz said he wanted it. That’s about all I’ve got for you here as far as a backstory since ECW back then was even less developed than it is now if you can believe that. Oh yeah. And they were thrown together on Smackdown (literally) and given a tag title shot because two guys that are thrown together that hate each other are light years ahead of all the other great tag teams on Smackdown right?

See what kind of shape the division was in around this time? Somehow this wasn’t even the worst it would be. However, these two would be pretty much the best team in a good long while and will likely be that for a good long while. Also, around this time there was a big thing about how Miz couldn’t wrestle. A buddy of mine and I said just give him time. I’m writing this in mid-October, two days after being completely blown away by a segment these two did at a Smackdown taping I was at.

Now as of this writing, it hasn’t made air in America yet. I’ll be most interested in seeing how many people are saying how awesome he is after that. Styles goes through all of the combinations that could result in Punk losing his title which is somewhere between interesting and filler. You might think that this is a handicap match, but it really isn’t. These two don’t get along yet and while they’ll double team for awhile, it’s usually very short indeed.

I’ve always loved that suicide dive that Punk does. He does the WHAT’S MY NAME thing that worked so well in ROH but never caught on in WWE. To be fair though, the crowd starts a big CM Punk chant. My goodness this guy was over. After beating on Punk as a team for awhile, Miz and Morrison break up again, maybe over one of them not doing the dishes or something. Good night Morrison does some amazing stuff out there.

He still does the same kind of stuff today but dang this was impressive stuff back then too. We get a glimpse of Miz vs. Morrison her but it’s nothing really that special. Punk hits a backbreaker that used to be called Welcome to Chicago M’Fer which has been changed for obvious reasons. Following some miscommunication from the new tag team, Punk hits the GTS on Miz for the pin.

Rating: B-. It got the crowd going a bit, but at the same time there was never any real drama in this at all. That’s fine though, as I don’t think there was really supposed to be. Sometimes you need to just have a match to get some ring time for the champion and have a decent match out of it. It makes the champion look stronger and saves the showdown for later on. This was just fine.

We get a recap of MVP hurting Matt’s leg and putting him out of the Survivor Series match later tonight. MVP had a big C on his outfit back then. He was CMVP. Oh that’s just awesome. Anyway, now we go to the back where some interviewer that I don’t recognize is talking to him. He’s REALLY bad on promos at this point.

Face Divas vs. Heel Divas

Faces: Mickie, Maria, Torrie, Michelle, Kelly
Heels: Beth, Jillian, Melina, Layla, Victoria

This is your token Diva match of the night. Torrie has what is now Tiffany’s music. Basically, around this time the only face Diva that can wrestle at all is Mickie. There’s no story here at all as this could just as easily have been on Raw. Thankfully this isn’t elimination style. We start with the almost too hot Victoria against Michelle. Ok, the Divas yelling at each other is REALLY annoying. Kelly is in essence in a swimsuit with sleeves.

To show the brilliance on display here, Torrie has Victoria down and leaves her there to run across the ring and get a tag. That’s tag wrestling 101 there and she can’t get that right. Even trying to pull Victoria back to Torrie’s corner would have worked. Whatever let’s just get this over with. Jillian is in now and for some reason rubs Kelly’s face in her chest. Wow. Anyway, we get the obligatory handspring elbow, which is the most impressive athletic maneuver there is.

It’s so impressive that nearly every Diva does it. Dang will you STOP WITH THE FREAKING SCREAMS? CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW FREAKING ANNOYING IT WOULD BE TO HAVE SOMEONE THAT SCREAMED EVERY TIME THEY OPENED THEIR FREAKING MOUTH? IT WOULD BE SO FREAKING….never mind. JR actually makes a bit of a comparison of Kelly and the Great Muta. I’m at a lost for keystrokes. All of the heels are wearing some form of red. Is that some messed up team unity thing?

Mickie comes in and attempts to save this match. Mickie hits the sexiest move in wrestling history, The Long Kiss Goodnight, to get the win. It was a move where she grabbed the other girl’s hair and actually bent her back and kissed her before kicking her in the face. Why do I have a feeling that’s Norcal’s dream date? Oh and Michelle fell out during the match. Nothing special.

Rating: D. That’s half of what this match was all about. The other letter is also D. Yep, this was all about looks here. If you don’t believe me, look at Kelly and Maria’s outfits. They’re just there for looks and nothing more. This was just bad and showed how awful the majority of the women were at the time. At least it was short and the girls looked good.

Orton says he’ll win.

Shawn says he’ll win. Well I’m glad they’re in agreement that he’ll win. Shawn looks stoned here and actually swears. That’s surprising.

Raw Tag Titles: Cade and Murdoch vs. Holly and Rhodes

Please…make it short. This was the token title feud of the month as the faces were thrown together over respect or something and instantly were number one contenders. The problem with the tag title picture was simple: Miz and Morrison were thrown together and won the tag belts. Holly and Rhodes were thrown together and won the tag belts. Do I need to explain why this was such a complete and utter failure for so long?

The reunification has helped a good bit lately, but they’re still in desperate need of help. With a roster as big as they have, it really wouldn’t be hard to get a few teams together and put some stories out there. Think of all the guys on the roster that never do anything but could have decent matches. The stuff is there, trust me.

Could Cade be any more generic? Hey! Buy Armageddon so we can validate our completely stupid PPV schedule. Holly and Rhodes won a triple threat vs. Londrick and the Highlanders to get here on Heat of all places. DAng it’s weird to see Rhodes as such a rookie like this. Rhodes and Cade start us off. Rhodes has bulked up a bit since this.

Rhodes literally slaps Murdoch on the back. That sounded sick too. Holly in now who takes down Murdoch. Holly does his low kick that isn’t really low but really looks like it is while the other guy is on the ropes. The champions are in trouble here. Double teaming gets the advantage back to the rednecks.

Cade takes Holly down to prevent he tag as this is just DRAGGING. There’s no reason for this to be on PPV but it is anyway because that’s how tag wrestling in this company works. There’s your heel miscommunication so that Rhodes can come in. And then that doesn’t work as he hits a missile dropkick for two and walks into Melina’s finisher (the sunset bomb thing) from Murdoch to retain.

Rating: D. This was just bad. Just like the match before it, there was no need to have it on PPV. Neither team stands out at all and there’s just nothing special about it. It’s not any good at all so there’s no way to say it’s anything but bad by default. Horrible match and everything that’s wrong with tag wrestling in this era. Holly and Rhodes would get the titles a few weeks later.

Team HHH says that they’re going to do some terrible things to the other team. In a very funny bit, Kane and Jeff mention all the things that HHH has done to them over the years. That’s just amusing. Jeff is taller than I thought he was.

After a too short to tell what’s going on recap of the Survivor Series match, we’re ready to go.

Team HHH vs. Team Umaga

HHH, Kane, Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio
Umaga, Big Daddy V, Kennedy, Finlay, MVP

Matt is injured remember, so it’s starting as a handicap match.

I love the way Justin Roberts talks. In what cracked me up, Kennedy comes out to do his standard intro and the mic doesn’t work. About halfway through it kicks on mid word. That’s just hilarious. Big Daddy V is in desperate need of a shirt. MVP needs to bring back the counting part of his music. It’s so much better that way. Let’s see: the most successful heel here is….MVP I guess? Maybe Umaga?

On the other side, we have four former/future world champions. Oh yeah this is going to be a great contest here. Kane’s pyro is some of the loudest stuff you will ever hear in your life. It’s insanely loud. Rey’s song really is catchy when it’s all you’re hearing in the arena. Jeff has his old music here. The start of his singles run would be in less than two months as he would fight Orton for the title at the Rumble. He’s IC Champion here.

Oh yeah the feuds. HHH vs. Umaga, Kane vs. BDV, Jeff vs. no one in particular, Rey vs. Finlay, Matt vs. MVP so I guess Jeff gets Kennedy and MVP by default. We’re now at ten minutes of entrances. We start off with Kennedy and Rey, so an overrated guy that’s good but nowhere near as good as he is made out to be vs. Kennedy. This is pretty decent stuff here as Kennedy for once gets to show what he can do, which isn’t bad.

He’s not the next Austin but he’s not bad at all. Rey does in essence the same move that Murdoch won with earlier, using that pesky thing known as the right way. JR says that Hardy has D. Wade like hang time. That just doesn’t sound right at all. BDV comes in to beat on Hardy for awhile since we need jobbers out there for awhile.

We move on to Kane vs. BDV which was a feud at the moment, so look for a big pinfall here. Kane hits the big clothesline from the top to put him down for a bit as this is really just no sell theater.

Following a little interference from Finlay the Samoan Drop ends the Big Red Machine to make it 5-3. Again, Kane jobs. Some things never change. The facebuster from HHH simply couldn’t miss more than it does here. We get HHH vs. Umaga here, which I guess was supposed to be a big deal? It’s just coming off as weak to me, but whatever.

After HHH (which I accidentally spelled as HGH for a bit there in a funny moment) gets beaten down, Rey comes in and after making Umaga look ridiculously bad, goes out to the Spike, leaving us with 5-2. I can smell the comeback coming from a mile away. We start this part with Jeff vs. Kennedy, which would have been an interesting feud had various things not happened. After a missed Drive By, Jeff gets a quick Twist of Fate to make it 4-2.

Kennedy is taken out after something that looks like it came out of a Three Stooges short with all of the blunders by the heels. HHH gets the pin. We move on to Viscera vs. HHH since I guess the fat man had to get something done that night. A double DDT takes him out to get us to 2-2 and you can see the ending coming from here. In probably the biggest thing of his career, Finlay beats on HHH for awhile before the tag to Hardy brings the crowd back a bit.

Once the terrible twosome were all that was left, this match started going downhill fast. This needs to end, like now. After a lot of token offense from Finlay, HHH comes in and takes care of Finlay. Cole tries to build Finlay as an equal to HHH. That’s just amusing. About 44 seconds later, the Pedigree leads to the Swanton which leads to the end of this way too long match. The face team of the gods celebrate for awhile before we’re done.

Rating: C-. This is a tale of two grades here. Before we got down to the final two faces, this was pretty good. After that, the whole thing just fell apart because there was zero chance that the faces weren’t both going to survive. Kane and Rey were just filler out there and everyone knew it. The first part is good, the second part is just bland. It got Jeff over though, which was the main goal of the whole thing.

Vince tells Horny not to die. That’s just funny.

Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali

You know the story so let’s get this over with. Vince and Shane are with Horny here. When I grow up, I want to be one of Runjin Singh’s sideburns. They do the rule thing just to add more hijinks to this. The fans chant We Want Shaq. Ok then. Oh yeah this is Miami when Shaq was on the Heat. That makes sense now. Oh and Shaq is in the front row. See what happens when I pay attention? Vince grabs a mic and says he doesn’t care what the fans want.

At least he’s honest. Horny runs once Khali screams at him. For some reason he spits mist at Singh who doesn’t do anything but stand there with a what the heck look on his face. Well thanks for that buddy. The club that Horny grabs is knocked away and then Khali smacks him. This needs to end like now.

The joke is over and has been for a long time. Just as I say that, Finlay runs out and hits Khali with the club to make the save for the DQ. The fact that Finlay would be revealed as the real father was about as obvious as possible at this point.

Rating: N/A. It was a joke, not a match.

We hit the recap button on HBK vs. Orton. This is pretty simple. Orton was on a punting spree and one of his first targets was Michaels. The night after Orton beat HHH at No Mercy there was this big ceremony for him which ended in Shawn returning in what was a cool moment. They had a match at Cyber Sunday where Orton got himself disqualified. That led to this, where Shawn can’t use the superkick and Orton can lose the belt via DQ. That’s about it.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Lillian looks great with her hair pulled back. Ross takes a small shot at FOX News, so at least some things never change. Orton hasn’t started hearing voices yet. Oh and the belt still spins. This is Shawn’s second PPV in 5 months. Shocking isn’t it that he more or less took the summer off after Mania. He would never do anything like that again would he? Dang that spinning belt looks like crap. It’s scary that today the belt looks about 100x better.

We get the old school ceremony of the referee checking the boots and pads etc. I love the little things like that because they can enhance a match so much. Shawn starts off with a lockup known as a Crevate. Now most of you have likely never heard of that. It’s a European style headlock but not quite. More or less you look like you’re setting for a snapmare but you grip like it’s a headlock. It’s really a cool idea and there’s a lot of stuff you can go with from that position.

Chris Hero is well known for using a ton of varieties of things like it. They go to a LONG headlock/front chancery sequence that has the crowd on the edge of unconsciousness. Finally we hit the floor for a bit where Shawn hits a picture perfect Asai Moonsault to knock Orton down. The commentators try to argue that Shawn is using a different style here because he’s not allowed to use the kick. That makes ZERO sense.

Think about it. Shawn’s finishing move is a kick to the head. What kind of setup does that require? All it takes is one second and some accuracy and he’ll knock you out. It’s not a wear down move like a figure four where going for it immediately makes no sense. It’s a move that can be hit from nowhere. Think of the Iron Man match.

He hit back to back kicks from nowhere to win his first world title. Here’s your “it’s Survivor Series so Shawn has to reference Montreal with a Sharpshooter” Sharpshooter. This has been all Shawn so far. Say it with me: as I type that Orton takes over.

Orton is very boring. That’s all there is to it. However, since he looks like a statue and can cut decent promos, Vince decides to keep putting him in big matches with this ridiculous Viper gimmick which more or less consists of him sliding around the ring before the RKO. It’s an excuse for not having to come up with something creative. Orton vs. Cena and HHH is about as boring of a pair of feuds as you’re ever going to find.

JR then has the nerve to say that this is a pure wrestling match. No Jim, it’s really not. This is a match that has an extra gimmick added to it because no one in their right mind believed that HBK would lose to Orton without it. Orton is just flat out awful in this gimmick of his and something needs to be changed, fast. Naturally, that means that Orton will be the same guy going into Mania 30. Oh look it’s a chinlock. What is the appeal of this?

To be fair, Orton is a bit better now, but around this time he was just flat out boring. Now he’s just mostly boring. Ok, for the love of goodness, WE GET THAT ORTON’S DAD IS IN THE HALL OF FAME! He was a horrible character and did nothing of note, ever. He’s another great example of the Hall of Fame being a complete joke. Anyway, Shawn initiates the ending sequence but gets dropkicked with one of three moves Orton can actually do really well.

In what’s a pretty cool move, Shawn sets for the superkick and fakes Orton out to get him to drop down so Shawn can hook a small package. That was really smart and makes perfect sense. In something that really surprises me, Shawn uses a crossface. This is a mere four months after Benoit and in the middle of the investigation into his death. I guess that this was before the whole thing came out. Michaels goes even crazier by putting on an ankle lock. Man he’s going nuts here.

He gets the heel hook but Orton gets out. DAng , Orton is better with submission than Lesnar is. Something occurs to me. If Orton gets disqualified, HBK gets the belt right? Why doesn’t Shawn get one of his buddies to come out and blast him with a chair or something? Man this face thing getting in the way of something that makes sense.

As he goes for a figure four, Shawn is kicked into the post. After a very brief counter, the RKO ends it. Afterwards Orton yells at Shawn and picks him up, naturally getting kicked in the head before Shawn leaves. Well that was a pretty basic ending.

Rating: D+. I get that some people would like this match, but I just could not get into it at all. There’s no drama, there’s one decent looking spot with the moonsault, there are tons of dead spots, and the whole thing just falls short. There just was no reason at all to watch this, plain and simple. They weren’t going to put the belt on Shawn so quick. Earlier tonight in the Punk match you had a good match that was a token defense.

This is the same, but this was far more boring. It’s a great example of a good match like this and a bad one. Jericho would come back in less than a month to save Raw and have more bland matches with Orton. Vince, get it through your head: two surefire hall of fame wrestlers in Jericho and Shawn can only pull ok matches out of Orton. That simply can’t be a coincidence.

Recap of Batista vs. Taker: they’ve fought a bunch of times and split most of them, but they just think the other is a swell guy. Yep, that’s about it.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Remember this is Hell in a Cell. Taker is the challenger here. JBL actually does some good analysis of what both guys need to do to win. He then ruins that by saying “oh that’s a clothesline!” Well thanks for that great brilliance there Johnny boy. Naturally Batista isn’t afraid of Taker. Less than three minutes in we have a chair brought in from under the ring. Or would it be out from under the ring? Whatever. Taker controls the majority of the opening part of the match.

Batista takes a chair shot to the throat and has some faint blood from his mouth. I know there’s not much being said here but the opening to this is solid which makes it difficult to make fun of. They’re trying to play up the experience/skill of Taker vs. pure power of Batista. That’s not a bad idea at all. As usual the rules of where you can pin someone here change per match, but I’d assume that it’s only in the ring. Cole implies it’s falls count anywhere.

They’re focusing a lot more on wrestling here than violence, which is fine. There’s certainly more than one way to have a good cell match and this is one of those options. Taker gets the Triangle Choke and Batista starts waving his arm and slapping the mat which looks a lot like tapping to me. He gets the ropes which apparently is a rope break. Even the announcers say that’s not correct. Batista is bleeding horribly.

After Batista gets some weapons shots in to take control, he gets caught in the Last Ride for two. This is a good match. The chokeslam gets two. He goes for the Tombstone but Batista does the leg wiggle of doom to get out and hit a spinebuster to take over again. A table is brought in as I begin to think: do those really help? I mean think about it. They kind of break your fall.

When you’re in a move like a powerbomb or something, the impact of the move is based on the amount of momentum built up when you’re coming down right? Well if there’s a table there blocking your way, doesn’t it stop a lot of the momentum? The impact of going through the table would hurt, but since you keep going anyway, it’s not going to hurt that much. Think of it like this: what hurts worse, taking a short ride and falling through a table, or taking a long ride and landing on something solid?

It doesn’t make a lot of sense to me, but I guess it can look good or something like that. Now we get to something else that’s kind of stupid. Batista sets up the table and hits a regular powerbomb through it (they call it the Batista Bomb but I can let that one go). If he had Taker that weakened, why not just hit the regular Batista Bomb and not give Taker the extra recovery time? Batista kicks out of the Tombstone, which makes him the second guy ever (Shawn at Mania 25) to kick out of all three finishers.

Shawn took it a step further though as he got out of Hell’s Gate as well. A Tombstone of the stairs should do it but the cameraman pulls the referee out and of course it’s Edge, returning from whatever injury he was out with. A camera shot to the head of Taker followed by a conchairto and Batista keeps the belt. Seriously, that’s the ending? Edge posing takes us out.

Rating: A-. This was a very good match until the ending. These guys have some solid chemistry together and showed it off tonight. Most Cell matches have zero story to them but this one did, which goes to show that you can have good wrestling and storytelling in a match like this and include weapons and blood.

That’s a big flaw in a lot of gimmick matches today: they forget they’re wrestling and just have high spots. Edge interfering really brings this down though as I wanted a clean win for someone. This was very good though and easily the best match at Survivor Series in a good while.

Overall Rating: B-. This is another example of a show where the grades don’t give an accurate representation of the whole show. I know I graded a lot of them low, but at the same time the whole show turned out to be pretty good I thought. The main event helped a lot as it was an excellent match. It goes to show you what a main event is capable of.

I know some people are going to think I’m an idiot for my Shawn vs. Orton grade, but the issue I have is simple: it was overbooked. Seriously, does a guy like Shawn need gimmicks in order to get over? You tell him how long he has and the finish and let him take care of the rest. The show certainly isn’t bad, but it’s hardly a classic. Batista and Taker is worth going out of your way to see, but while the rest is certainly good, it’s not must see. Recommended though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2006
Date: November 26, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,400
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Another match of note on the show is Mickie James challenging Lita for the Women’s Championship in what would be Lita’s final match. Combining this with Trish Stratus leaving just a few months earlier, the Divas division was in a huge state of flux with the two biggest stars it ever had leaving in the span of a few months. Let’s get to it.

This is the 20^th show so we talk about tradition and all that jazz. Then it turns into a regular video about a PPV, but a good one.

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Legends: Ric Flair, Sgt. Slaughter, Ron Simmons, Dusty Rhodes

Spirit Squad: Kenny, Johnny, Nicky, Mikey

Slaughter is replacing a cancer ridden Roddy Piper. Actually he got very lucky as he got a concussion because of a Conchairto from Edge, and on the tests the cancer was found. Arn Anderson is here with the Legends and we get the awesome Horsemen music. The only member of the Squad (a group of male cheerleaders) still around is Nicky, more famous as Dolph Ziggler, so I’ll spare you from an explanation. Kenny is the only other one that stuck around after the team split up anyway.

Simmons and Mikey start things off and guess who wins the slugout. Ron beats up all of them but Mitch, the fifth member of the squad not in the match, interferes and gets Ron on the floor. Mitch’s distraction leads to Simmons getting counted out. Mitch (the other cheerleader) gets ejected but Simmons beats him up first. Anderson gets ejected as well for no apparent reason. The Philly fans are TICKED. Nicky comes in to face Sarge and he mocks the salute. Fan: “PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE!”

Sarge beats him up with ease and it’s off to Dusty for some gyrating and elbows to the arm. It’s Flair time and you know the Philly fans are all for that one. A chop later and it’s right back to Slaughter who hooks the Cobra Clutch, but Dusty and Kenny come in to fight, allowing Johnny to kick Sarge in the head to give Nicky a pin. Off to Dusty who hits the bionic elbow on Nicky for the immediate elimination, making it 3-2. Dusty gets caught in the corner but he gyrates it off.

The Flip Flop and Fly takes Kenny down but another elbow misses, giving Kenny a rollup (with a handful of jeans) pin. It’s Kenny/Johnny/Mikey vs. Flair now with Mikey starting first. Flair chops him into the corner but Mikey starts punching away. Ric hits a quick atomic drop and gets a rollup with feet on the ropes (now THAT is vintage Flair) for the elimination. Kenny gets in some shots but ducks his head and gets cradled for the pin, leaving Flair vs. Johnny. Less than a minute later it’s a Figure Four to give Flair the win.

Rating: C-. This was exactly what it was expected to be and that’s all it should have been. The legends were there to have a feel good nostalgia moment and get eliminated so Flair, the only one who had been active in the last three years or so, could knock out all of the Squad and give the fans a feel good moment. Also it’s only about ten minutes long so it’s not like this was anything major. It’s not a good technical match, but if that’s what you’re expecting here, you missed the point entirely. Besides, the Squad was gone literally the next night.

Post match the Squad beats down Flair and the Legends….are nowhere in sight. Kind of a downer.

We recap Benoit vs. Chavo. Benoit came back from an injury and won the US Title but Vickie and Chavo, his former friends, wanted nothing to do with him. Chavo and Vickie didn’t like Rey making his name off Eddie’s legacy, which is true but I don’t blame Rey for it. Chavo injured Rey’s knee (Mysterio needed time off for surgery) but when Benoit tried to make the save, the Guerreros weren’t happy. There was also some nonsense about Eddie’s estate which didn’t going anywhere.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Benoit, the champion, pounds away to start and hits a quick backbreaker for one. Some knees to the ribs set up a snap suplex for another two. Chavo comes back with a bunch of forearms and stomps in the corner, only to get caught in the Crossface. Vickie makes the save by putting Chavo’s boot on the rope. Chavo hits a pair of suplexes for two and it’s off to a chinlock.

Benoit comes out of it with a Samoan drop of all things but gets dropkicked right back down for two. Another suplex is countered and Benoit rolls some Germans to set up the swan dive. Vickie grabs Benoit’s foot and the distraction makes the dive miss, sending Chris’ head crashing into the mat again. Chavo suplexes him down (again) but the frog splash only gets two. Benoit loads up the Sharpshooter but gets kicked off into Vickie who is on the apron. There’s the Crossface and Chavo taps out.

Rating: D+. That’s likely a bit low but this was a dull match. Chavo came off as more of an annoyance than a challenge here and that never makes for an entertaining match. I still shudder whenever I see Benoit take a head shot like he did off the swan dive as I always wonder which shot was the point of no return for him.

Lita says that she’s done after tonight’s match (that’s actually true) and she’s glad it’s in front of these horrible fans in Philadelphia. Edge makes some Donovan McNabb jokes and says his team is going to take out Team DX. After he leaves, Cryme Tyme leaves Lita’s locker room with a box of her stuff.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is defending and slaps Mickie in the face to start, causing Mickie to choke away in the corner. The champ comes back by literally throwing Mickie around which is a bit less than what you would expect from someone as talented as Lita. Mickie goes up and gets slammed off the top as this is one sided so far. The fans think Lita is a crack w****. Their words, not mine.

A quick snap suplex gets two for Lita as this continues to be slow. Off to a sleeper from Lita which is the last thing this match needed. Mickie gets in the ropes and avoids a charge in the corner. She goes up and is immediately suplexed down for two. Now the fans think Lita has herpes. Again, their words not mine. Mickie hits a SWEET spinning kick to take Lita’s head off followed by a fisherman’s suplex for two. Moonsault gets two for Lita but the Edgecution is countered, giving Mickie two. They trade rollups and Mickie hits the jumping DDT to retire Lita and win the title.

Rating: D. Most of that is for the ending with Lita’s head bouncing off the mat. Other than that, this was some pretty uninspired stuff. Lita left when she should have as she had nothing left to accomplish and no one like Trish to work with. Pretty terrible match here but it passed the torch to Mickie who was indeed the future of the division.

Lita asks for a microphone and makes Lillian tell the crowd to cheer for her. She doesn’t like being booed and is glad to get to leave in front of Philly because its fans suck. Here’s Cryme Tyme with the box of Lita’s stuff they stole earlier. They’re having a HO Sale and it’s cash only. The first item sold: Lita’s yeast infection medicine for one dollar.

Cryme Tyme realizes JBL is at the announce table and offer the goods to him. He says he’s the only person in America who doesn’t have some of Lita’s underwear so he gives them $100. The next item: Lita’s massager. That goes for 25 bucks and there’s only one thing left. It’s cheap, it’s wide, you can put your head in it: it’s Lita’s box. That goes for 20 bucks to end a hilarious segment.

Batista has nothing to say about the title match tonight. Booker attacked Batista at the contract signing and hit him in the throat with a scepter. After seeing a clip of it, Batista says he’s leaving tonight with the title.

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

Team DX: Shawn Michaels, HHH, Hardy Boys, CM Punk

Team Rated-RKO: Edge, Randy Orton, Johnny Nitro, Mike Knox, Gregory Helms

This is Punk’s first major match and Jeff is Intercontinental Champion. DX plays to the crowd for a LONG time before the heel entrances. The fans of course LOVE Punk, so he gets to ask if the fans are ready. Helms, the current Cruiserweight Champion, is feuding with Matt Hardy at this point. Knox, a big power guy with a beard, has a chick named Kelly Kelly with him at the moment and she’s an exhibitionist. Rated-RKO are the Raw Tag Team Champions too so most of the gold in the company is in this match.

HHH asks Kelly to flash him and has Shawn cover his eyes. Knox comes in to stop it but Shawn kicks him in the face to eliminate him. Shawn to HHH: “Who was that guy?” Points for a funny bit if nothing else. Nitro comes in to speed things up but Shawn slides to the floor and puts his arm around Melina. We’ve got a comedy match here people. Off to Jeff who works on Nitro’s arm to continue their recent feud.

Off to Matt so the Hardys can hit some nice double team stuff. Nitro finally gets in a shot to the face and it’s off to Helms. Matt is slammed off the top and it’s off to Edge to stomp on Matt. Well that’s appropriate. Back to Helms for a suplex and it’s immediately off to Orton. After some very basic stuff, here’s Nitro again so Melina can SCREECH. Matt hooks the Side Effect and there’s the tag to Punk. Punk immediately starts his strikes and hits the knee/bulldog in the corner.

Nitro blocks the Rock Bottom but the second attempt (with an assist from Matt) sets up the Vice for the tap out. Edge comes in to face Punk and the fans are very pleased. Punk pounds on him in the corner but Orton guillotines Punk on the top rope to give the heels their first advantage. Randy comes in and hits a dropkick for two before it’s back to Helms. After some knees to the face, Helms hits a one knee Codebreaker to put Punk down.

Back to Orton for a slugout with Punk, resulting in the RKO taking Punk down. Why Randy can’t cover immediately isn’t quite clear but Shawn makes the save anyway. Edge gets the tag but spears the buckle. JR: “That middle turnbuckle isn’t in the match!” Hot tag brings in HHH to face Helms and the beating is on fast. A facebuster puts Helms down but the Edge-O-Matic breaks up the Pedigree. Everything breaks down and Jeff and Shawn dive on Rated-RKO.

Matt comes in with the Twist on Helms followed by a Swanton to make it 5-2. The heels take their belts and walk but the Hardys will have none of that. Team DX take turns beating up both members and it’s Sweet Chin Music to eliminate Edge. So it’s Orton vs. five guys now and Randy tries to run, but the Hardys and Punk stop him. Back in and it’s Chin Music and the Pedigree to complete the sweep.

Rating: C-. This was entertaining but it’s kind of a questionable ending when you consider the captains were in a pretty big feud. The guy that gets the big rub here is Punk, as he goes from a guy on the C show to rubbing elbows with two of the biggest stars ever and one of the best tag teams ever. Fun match here but it didn’t really accomplish much.

We recap Kennedy vs. Undertaker. Kennedy is a very loud guy that likes to challenge legends and would become Mr. Anderson in TNA. Basically Kennedy wants to break the legend of Undertaker, or about the same thing as about half the feuds Undertaker has had in years. It’s a first blood match tonight because Kennedy busted Undertaker open on Smackdown recently. Kennedy got a blood bath from Undertaker’s magic powers.

Kennedy isn’t worried but MVP (think Deion Sanders) comes up and notices the Vaseline on Kennedy’s forehead. I guess the referee isn’t watching the interview.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Kennedy immediately drops to the floor to try to get an early advantage, but Undertaker punches him down as soon as they get back inside. We head back to the floor and Kennedy gets punched over the announcers’ table with Undertaker in total control. We head to the crowd and Undertaker hits a pair of headbutts. Back to ringside and Kennedy gets in his first big move by sending Undertaker into the steps.

Kennedy tries to dive off the apron but gets caught and rammed into the post. This has been almost all Undertaker so far. We head back in and Undertaker busts out a superplex to put Kennedy down. The offense looks good but shouldn’t Undertaker be going for the head? I don’t know if internal bleeding counts but it hasn’t been mentioned in any first blood match I’ve ever seen. Kennedy hits Undertaker low but Undertaker immediately comes back with a kick to the face.

A buckle was taken off somewhere in there by Kennedy but Undertaker sends him into it twice in a row. Kennedy kicks Undertaker low again and Kennedy is bleeding from the mouth. He rolls to the floor before the referee can see it and here’s MVP with a towel to clean up the blood. They start to walk away, but MVP throws Kennedy back in the ring which is payback for Kennedy doing the same thing to MVP on Smackdown.

Undertaker pounds away in the corner but Kennedy drops him face first on the exposed buckle. Kennedy starts pounding away but MVP brings in a chair to hit….someone. It winds up hitting Undertaker and busts him open to give Kennedy the upset win. The fans boo that out of the building because Undertaker is such a legend at this point.

Rating: C. This was a decent brawl but the ending, which was to advance Undertaker/Kane vs. MVP/Kennedy, kind of sucks. The feud just never worked because at the end of the day, it’s two guys who are career midcarders at this point against two former World Champions who can beat up anyone. Kennedy never got to the point where they wanted him to be due to various reasons, but this is the fifth former World Champion he had beaten.

Kennedy beats up Undertaker post match but Undertaker snaps up and pounds him down as well. Undertaker WHACKS him with the chair to get a gasp from the crowd. JBL LOSES IT as Kennedy gets beaten up even more and tombstoned.

Sharmell tells Booker to be excited because tonight is Batista’s last chance.

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

John Cena, Kane, Bobby Lashley, Sabu, Rob Van Dam

Big Show, Test, MVP, Finlay, Umaga

It’s Philadelphia and we’ve got Sabu and RVD on one team so I think you can guess the crowd reactions. Cena is Raw World Champion and Big Show is ECW Champion. Umaga, a Samoan and formerly Jamal of 3 Minute Warning is still undefeated and a monster. Finlay is an Irish brawler.

Naturally Cena is booed out of the building by the hardcore crowd. Cena and Umaga start things off with Cena getting knocked to the floor. Everything breaks down and Umaga gets a monitor to knock out RVD for a DQ. Umaga also destroys the rest of Team Cena because that’s what savages do.

We finally get down to Finlay vs. RVD but it’s quickly off to Test for some bland big man power stuff. Back to Irishman for some stomping and then to really mix things up, MVP comes in and stomps as well. Van Dam is bleeding from the mouth as MVP puts on a chinlock. Rob comes back with a cradle for two and a spin kick to take MVP down. Van Dam kicks all of the heels including a LOUD one to Finlay. Test tries to ram RVD into the post but since he’s big and dumb, Test’s head goes into it instead. Kane chokeslams MVP and the Five Star gets the pin for Rob.

While Van Dam is getting up, Test immediately comes in and kicks his head off to make it 4-3. Test gets sent to the floor and Lashley spears him down, followed by a tornado DDT from Sabu back inside for the pin. Show immediately chokeslams Sabu to make it 3-2 and it’s time for the giants to fight. They both grabs chokeslam grips but here’s Hornswoggle (the Little Bastard at the moment) for a distraction. Finlay clocks Kane with his club so Show can pin Kane after a chokeslam. Starting with MVP’s pin, those five eliminations all came within less than two minutes. I didn’t skip anything in between.

To recap, it’s Show/Finlay vs. Cena/Lashley. Cena comes in to face the monster but is immediately taken down. Off to Finlay for a clothesline and some good old fashioned cheating. Show sends Cena flying off a headbutt and it’s back to the heel corner. After more of a beating, Cena fights them both off and makes the hot tag to Lashley. Powerslam is escaped but a spear puts Finlay down for two.

A double clothesline from Show puts Cena and Lashley down and here’s Hornswoggle again. Cena loads him up in the FU and in the distraction, Lashley spears Finlay down to make it 2-1. Both good guys take their turns on Show including stuff like double DDTs and double suplexes. JR calls Cena cock strong and I don’t want to know what that one means. Lashley breaks up the chokeslam with a spear and the FU gets the final pin.

Rating: D. As I was writing that, it felt like I was just saying what was happening and nothing special was going on. The reason it felt like nothing was going on was because nothing was going on. This match was as paint by numbers as you could ever ask for and that makes for a VERY dull match. Cena hitting the FU on Show is always worth seeing, but this didn’t work at all.

JR says that Lashley is debuting at Survivor Series tonight which is flat out wrong. To be a bit fair though, JR wasn’t on commentary for that match last year.

The Extreme Elimination Chamber is coming.

We recap Booker T vs. Batista. Booker won the King of the Ring and became a king with a bad British accent before winning the title off Rey Mysterio. He kept cheating to beat Batista and tonight is Batista’s last shot at the title unless he wins. Batista never lost the title in the first place and had to drop it due to injury, so tonight is his last chance to regain what he believes is still his.

Before the match, Teddy comes out and says that if Booker gets counted out or DQ’ed, he loses the title.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Booker T

Booker is defending of course. Batista jumps him in the aisle and the referee says you have to get it in the ring. Why? Batista can win the title via DQ so no he doesn’t need to get it in the ring. Also the ruling said Booker loses if he gets counted out. It said nothing about him losing by countout so would a draw give Batista the title? Booker fires off some chops in the corner and is immediately punched in the face for his efforts. A suplex puts Booker down but he escapes an early Batista Bomb attempt.

After Booker gets back in, Batista hits a clothesline for two. This isn’t really working so far. Booker finally comes back with a hot shot to take over before sling shotting Batista’s throat into the bottom rope. Batista comes back with some right hands but Booker pokes him in the eye. We’re about five minutes into this and it’s not clicking at all. Big Dave comes out of nowhere with a side slam for two followed by a Jackhammer.

A Boss Man Slam gets two for Batista and they head to the apron to slug it out. Cole brings up a good question: what happens if there’s a double countout or double DQ? Egads now I’m thinking like Michael Cole. Presumably it would be a draw and Booker keeps the title but it’s not clear. A Sharmell distraction lets Booker take over as JBL goes on a tirade about Teddy Long being racist. Side kick puts Batista down for two. We hit a chinlock to fill in some time which is probably the last thing they should do right now. Batista comes back with some right hands and a belly to belly suplex for two.

Batista cranks things up and knocks Booker to the floor before sending him into the steps. Back in and a top rope shoulder gets two. The spinebuster gets the same but Booker grabs the Bookend for two. Batista comes back with the Batista Bomb but the champ grabs the rope. Sharmell gives Booker the title, Batista takes it from him and clocks Booker with it, new champion. That’s how the show ends: not with a Batista Bomb, but with Batista cheating.

Rating: D-. A horrible match to end a horrible show is always appropriate. Batista getting the title back was probably the right move as he was insanely over and hadn’t been champion since January. This match didn’t work at all though and it was the last time Booker would be near the World Title, which is probably a good thing if he’s as bad as he looked here.

Overall Rating: D-. When the second best match of your show is a group of guys in their late fifties or early sixties beating up male cheerleaders for ten minutes, your show is in trouble. There’s NOTHING worth seeing here at all and this show sucked. The other odd thing here is where the time went.

This show runs about two hours and forty minutes and the longest match (main event) doesn’t break fourteen minutes. There’s no big segment on it either so I have no idea where the time went. Other than the main event nothing is awful but there’s nothing worth watching. Either way, this is an awful show and probably the worst since the 90s.

Ratings Comparison

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: B

Redo: D+

Mickie James vs. Lita

Original: B

Redo: D

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

Original: B

Redo: C-

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Original: C+

Redo: C

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Batista vs. Booker T

Original: D-

Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D-

WHAT WAS I THINKING ON THOSE EARLIER MATCHES???

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/15/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2006-who-thought-batista-vs-booker-was-a-good-idea/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6