Monday Night Raw
Date: March 31, 2014
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the final Raw before Wrestlemania so I wouldn’t expect the most exciting shot tonight. Everything is set up for Sunday and all there is left to do is give us the hard sell. There’s a chance to have something else change before we get there but I can’t imagine it would be anything big. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Undertaker to open the show. As he makes his entrance to the ring, we see a clip from the end of last week’s show. He looks at the sign and says twenty one men have stood up and twenty one men have been sat down. At the showcase of the immortals, he will go further than anyone else and that is why the Streak stays alive. Brock is probably thinking how he’s going to break the Streak, but what he should be thinking is what happens when Undertaker takes him out into the deep water.

What is Brock going to do when his feet can’t hit the bottom? Will he try and take Undertaker down with him, or will he try to swim back to shore? Of course there are some people that think the Streak will end one day. However, there are three things that can’t be beaten: Death, taxes, and the Streak. He goes to say the catchphrase but here are Lesnar and Heyman to interrupt.

Paul says this isn’t a match Brock has to win, but rather a match Undertaker can’t lose. All it takes is one F5 and then three seconds later it’s all over. This Sunday is the biggest Wrestlemania moment since Hulk Hogan defeated Andre the Giant, and that’s a spoiler. Lesnar turns to leave but looks back and walks down to the ring. Undertaker gets ready to go so Brock stops to point at the sign. He circles the ring and gets in after a Heyman distraction. Undertaker gets in some shots but gets caught in the F5, laying Undertaker out for the first time in the feud.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big E.

Battle royal hype time. Del Rio gets run over for an early two and a fall away slam gets the same. Big E. avoids a charge into the post and hurts his shoulder, allowing Del Rio to crush Big E.’s hand into the steps. Back from a break with Big E. suplexing Del Rio down and trying to get some feeling back into his shoulder.

Alberto grabs the armbreaker over the ropes but Big E. catches him coming off the top to take over. A belly to belly looks to set up the Big Ending but Del Rio escapes into the Backstabber for two. The armbreaker is countered into a powerslam for two but now the armbreaker goes on. Big E. tries to power out but gets put in the full hold.

He rolls up again and powers Del Rio up into a modified powerbomb for two as Del Rio grabs the rope. Big E. misses another charge and gets hung up in the ropes, allowing Alberto to go up for a HUGE double stomp to the chest, drawing a big gasp from the crowd. The superkick is good for the pin at 10:29 as Del Rio continues to be Big E.’s Kryptonite.

Rating: C+. This was by far the best match these two have ever had and a lot of it is because they had the time to work on things. That being said, can we please have them fight for the title now? Del Rio has pinned Big E. clean at least twice in a row now, but there’s never any mention of him wanting the title. Either hav ehim go after the belt or stop having them fight.

We look back at the Wyatts knocking out Cena and putting him in the mask last week.

Bray says the world craves change. However they turn a blind eye to the landfills because you can’t just whisper in people’s ears anymore and expect them to listen. He gets right up in the camera and asks if he has their attention now. She told him that he would be the one to change diamonds into dust and change the world. They’re going to cry for Cena but in time they’ll forget him when Cena is left with nothing. Bray says he’s the monster and sings about having the whole world in his hands.

We get a Total Divas recap, which I can’t believe has taken this long.

Natalya vs. Summer Rae

This is a result of a fight on Total Divas. Vickie is on commentary and tells us that the Divas match on Sunday is going to be one fall with all fourteen girls in there at the same time. They’re not even trying to keep things calm. Natalya takes Summer down and the dancing girl screams a lot. She comes back with a bad looking clothesline and puts on a chinlock for a few moments.

Nattie fights back with a low dropkick and snap suplex. Summer slaps her in the face so Natalya returns the favor. Rae charges at her but gets taken down, only to kick out of the Sharpshooter. She comes back with a quick kick to the head and gets the pin on Natalya out of nowhere at 2:23.

Here’s the Authority for the end of the YES Movement. Stephanie says tonight is the chance for everyone to say goodbye before HHH destroys Daniel Bryan on Sunday. HHH talks about how people are looking at Bryan as the flavor of the month. He and Stephanie demonstrate Fandangoing before saying the fans are the reason nothing came from that. Stephanie starts a YES chant and says anyone can get that going.

Daniel Bryan won’t be here tonight because it’s best for business. HHH says people don’t understand business, such as when they say he has power because he married well. While it’s true he married spectacularly, the reason he has what he has is because of his dominance in the ring. It didn’t matter what guy you jumped on as the savior, because HHH was going to take them down.

This takes us to a video, narrated by Stephanie, of various people he’s taken down over the years, such as Booker T, Scott Steiner, RVD, Jeff Hardy, Goldberg, Mick Foley, Chris Jericho and Kurt Angle. All of them rose up for a bit but now all that’s left is the Game. At Wrestlemania, Daniel Bryan will be another sacrificial lamb and the fans will lose another chosen one, because there is only one HHH. This was AMAZING and sold the idea perfectly.

Back live and HHH says they were all just players, but he’s the Game now more than ever. On Sunday, he’ll destroy Daniel Bryan and then walk out as the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. They go to leave but here’s Batista to interrupt. Batista digs the video, but noticed he wasn’t in it because HHH has never beaten him. HHH makes fun of Batista’s Georgetown (local college basketball team) jersey but Batista says HHH shouldn’t be worried about a title match he’s not even in yet. HHH says go get ready for your match and Batista says that’s a good idea, which makes sense because Stephanie is the brawn of this family.

Orton comes out and says he wants a front row seat if Stephanie is about to slap him again. Orton says he respects the Authority and loves the idea of a triple threat, but asks HHH to think again about being in the title match. HHH tells Orton that no amount of sucking up is going to get him out of this because his title reign is coming to an end very soon. That is, unless Orton can become the Viper again. HHH makes the main event No DQ to try and make Orton all the more evil.

Usos/Los Matadores vs. Real Americans/Ryback/Curtis Axel

Ryback shoves Jimmy into the corner to start but Jimmy comes back with kicks in the chest. The Usos hit a double kick to the ribs, only to have Ryback run Jey over and make the tag off to Axel. Jey catapults Curtis into a forearm from Fernando and Diego follows in with a slingshot splash. Axel gets double teamed by both teams until it’s back to Jey for a wristlock.

Off to Cesaro for some hard forearms before Swagger comes in to stomp away. Jey fights back with right hands and clotheslines before sending Ryback out to the floor. Fernando comes in and tags out to Jimmy before anything happens. Jimmy and Fernando dive over the top to take out the Real Americans, setting up Jey with a top rope cross body for two on Swagger.

Jack sends him to the floor and knocks him off the apron for a crash. Back from a break with Cesaro dropkicking Jey down for two and getting the same off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Swagger comes in and literally throws Cesaro into the corner onto Jey. Ryback comes in and puts on a chinlock until Jey fights up and hits a bulldog. The hot tag brings in Jimmy to clean house and speed things way up.

A release Samoan drop puts Axel down and the running Umaga attack in the corner gets two. Ryback gets superkicked to the floor and Axel gets two off a rollup. Jack makes a blind tag and kicks Jimmy in the face for two with Diego making the save. Cesaro loads up the Swing but Fernando breaks it up to a lot of booing. Back inside and the Vader Bomb is countered but Jimmy avoids the Patriot Lock and kicks Swagger in the face. Diego dives off the top but lands in the Patriot Lock but doesn’t tap. Swagger goes after Jey but the Matadores switch, allowing Fernando to roll Jack up for the pin at 13:55.

Rating: C. It’s not a bad match but the division just isn’t all that interesting. Los Matadores being employed still makes my head shake, especially when El Torito isn’t involved. The ending with the Twin Magic wasn’t a terrible idea and it’s nice to see them add another team that could win the titles on Sunday.

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Fandango/Damien Sandow

Fandango takes Cody into the corner before it’s off to Sandow to stomp away, knocking Rhodes out to the floor. We hit a chinlock on Cody before a drop toehold breaks up a hot tag attempt. Cody kicks Damien away and tags Goldust anyway to clean house. Goldust takes both heels down with the top rope cross body before getting two on Sandow. Cody dives off the top to take down Fandango, allowing Goldust to hit the Final Cut for the pin on Damien at 4:08.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much to see here as it was nothing more than a way to get people on the show before the Wrestlemania match on Sunday. That’s something you often get on the go home shows, which doesn’t exactly make for good TV but it’s something you have to do to avoid injuries.

We recap Shield vs. Kane/Outlaws.

Shield says they almost feel bad for Kane. One of them will be facing Kane tonight, decided by a WWE App vote. Rollins says the geriatric Outlaws will be joining Kane on Sunday and be shown why the fist is the new symbol of excellence. Ambrose promises to show the old guys a new things about attitude. Reigns says Believe in the Shield.

R-Truth vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray runs him over to start and laughs a lot, only to run into a leg lariat. Wyatt comes right back with the hard running cross body before hammering away with right hands and headbutts. We hit a quick camel clutch for a bit before a belly to back suplex into a facebuster puts Truth down again. Sister Abigail is enough for the pin at 4:35.

Rating: D. It’s just a long squash. There really isn’t much else to say about this match. However, Bray continues to be totally dominant and that’s what you need coming into the biggest match of his career. Sunday could be a huge moment for Bray if it’s done right, which doesn’t mean he needs to win.

Xavier Woods gets beaten down post match. The Wyatts pose but there’s another guy in coveralls and a sheep mask. Bray looks up at him and it’s John Cena to an ERUPTION. Rowan takes an AA but Bray escapes to fight on Sunday. That’s one of the loudest pops for Cena that I’ve heard in months. Bray gives Cena a bizarre look from the ramp.

We look back at Vickie making the Divas Title match.

AJ Lee vs. Naomi

Lumberjill match with the other challengers on the floor and Vickie on the stage. AJ is immediately sent to the floor and thrown back in but Naomi doesn’t get the same treatment. Now the champion is sent outside again and the other girls throw her right back in. Back in and AJ fires off kicks to the ribs before it’s off to a guillotine check.

A swinging neckbreaker gets two on Naomi but she comes back with a kick to the head. AJ is sent to the floor again but Tamina tries to protect her. That’s fine with them though as Tamina gets beaten down as well. The Divas throw AJ back inside after one heck of a beating, allowing Naomi to hit the Rear View for the easy pin at 4:04.

Rating: D. Build for the PPV, I don’t know why we’ve got the AJ vs. Vickie feud after months of AJ getting pinned but that’s the WWE for you. I have a bad feeling AJ leaves with the title, but I’m hoping Paige shows up the next night on Raw to take the title. It wasn’t really much of a match anyway but the girls looked good on the floor.

A nervous John Cena talks about Bray Wyatt spreading his propaganda. Cena has just shown Bray what happens when he gets backed into a corner. On Sunday John Cena will be a monster because being a monster for a day secures a legacy for a lifetime. Yes he’s afraid but the moment you realize he has the ability to face it, everything is worth it. Cena is bringing the change to the eater of worlds on Sunday and tells us all to be watching on Sunday.

The expert panel talks about Bray vs. Cena.

We look back at the opening segment.

Roman Reigns wins the poll with 80% of the vote.

Roman Reigns vs. Kane

Kane gets pounded down in the corner but raises a boot to stop a charging Reigns. A hard clothesline sets up the chokeslam but Reigns powers out of it. Some right hands stagger Kane and there’s a BIG running clothesline to drop Kane. Kane gets knocked into the ropes and the running boot to the side of the heads knocks him back inside. He loads up the Superman Punch but here come the Outlaws. Ambrose and Rollins cut them off though, allowing Reigns to nail the Superman Punch. The other Shield members get inside to surround Kane and the beating is on for the DQ at 3:09.

Rating: D+. This was the buildup match for the six man which still isn’t all that interesting. I see the Outlaws coming to the ring and the idea of them facing Rollins and Ambrose at Wrestlemania just doesn’t work for me at all. They look like a team you bring in on Raw for a special moment to set up a PPV match against a big team. But hey, the Outlaws want to have the match and that’s what matters.

It’s time for Piper’s Pit with a surprise guest. Piper says it’s Wrestlemania season and is thrilled that Wrestlemania I was 29 years ago today. He talks about how important Andre the Giant was to the first Wrestlemania and says the winner of the battle royal will get their Wrestlemania moment. Piper is about to talk about his favorite for the match but here’s Miz to interrupt.

Miz brags about actually winning in the main event of Wrestlemania, meaning the other 29 superstars don’t compare to him at all, just like the Pit doesn’t compare to MizTV. This brings out Sheamus to make Piper even angrier. Sheamus says Miz isn’t fit to hold Roddy’s kilt before talking about winning the battle royal. Cue Titus as Piper is getting hilarious with his ranting over the interruptions. He spells out his name and barks in Piper’s face.

Here’s Ziggler, drawing out a “REALLY??? REALLY??? I’M TALKING HERE!!!” from Piper. Roddy looks at all of them and has something to say to each ot them. Piper pokes Miz in the eye and throws him to Sheamus as a fight breaks out. A bunch of other guys in the battle royal hit the ring for a ten to twelve man fight.

Rey Mysterio comes out with music to kick Dolph in the head. Sin Cara takes a 619 and Brogue Kick until Big Show comes out to really clean the ring. Rey and Big Show are the only ones left standing and Rey begs off, only to hit a 619 to the ribs. A top rope seated senton is just dumb though and Rey is thrown to the floor in a big pile. Roddy raises Big Show’s hand to end the segment.

Batista vs. Randy Orton

No DQ and non-title. Batista is the hometown boy and gets a decent reaction from the crowd. Before the match here are HHH and Stephanie coming down to do commentary. Orton takes him down to the floor to start and hammers away but gets sent into the post. Back in and Randy stomps away before sending Batista out to the floor and into the barricade.

Batista’s arm is rammed into the announce table a lot and a belly to back suplex onto the barricade has him in even more trouble. Randy nails him in the back with a chair before they head back inside. Batista knocks Orton right back to the floor and slams him into the announce table a few times. HHH says show him the Animal so Batista rams Orton spine first into the apron. He gets a chair of his own but Randy pulls on a kendo stick to blast Batista.

Back in again and the spinebuster puts Orton down but the Batista Bomb is countered into the backbreaker. There’s the Elevated DDT but Daniel Bryan jumps over the announce table and jumps HHH. Orton goes outside to take out Bryan but gets taken down as well. Randy gets back up and sends Bryan into the steps as Stephanie checks on her “baby”. Batista nails Orton with the spear but Bryan kicks him in the head and hits the knee. FLYING GOAT takes HHH down as everything is going nuts. A bunch of kendo stick shots knock HHH into the ring before Bryan dropkicks Orton off the apron. The match is thrown out at about 8:00.

Rating: C+. This was a nice brawl but it was all about the moment of course. Bryan had to show up here and tonight was his night to end the show. Orton vs. Batista actually wasn’t bad but thank goodness they didn’t do it as the main event of Wrestlemania. It was good but it wasn’t THAT good.

A huge YES chant erupts as HHH shouts that Bryan is done to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This is a show where you have to take something big into account. This was all about getting ready for Sunday and the wrestling took a huge backseat to the building process. The matches were pretty lame, but the matches all got TV time and I’m more excited for Wrestlemania than I have been in years.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Big E. – Superkick

Summer Rae b. Natalya – Kick to the faceless

Los Matadores/Usos b. Real Americans/Curtis Axel/Ryback – Rollup to Swagger

Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Damien Sandow/Fandango – Final Cut to Sandow

Bray Wyatt b. R-Truth – Sister Abigail

Naomi b. AJ Lee – Pin after the lumberjills beat up AJ on the floor

Kane b. Roman Reigns via DQ when Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins interfered

Randy Orton vs. Batista went to a no contest

 

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Wrestlemania XXIII
Date: April 1, 2007
Location: Ford Field, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 80,103
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles

To say this show was a success is an understatement. Until Rock vs. Cena, this show drew more PPV buys than any show in the history of the company, which says a lot when you consider what came before it. The main event here is Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga, which is the Battle of the Billionaires, as Donald Trump and Vince are backing the two respectively. The losing billionaire gets his head shaved. There’s also Cena vs. Shawn in what should be awesome. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a montage of Wrestlemania logos which turns into your usual highlight reel.

We get a clip of the opening of Wrestlemania III before transitioning to Ford Field in the same city. Aretha Franklin is here again twenty years later to sing America the Beautiful again. That’s a very nice touch, as are the clips from Tribute to the Troops.

Now we get the video for this year’s show, which is the All Grown Up theme. It’s a bunch of kids dressed like the stars who then turn into their adult selves.

Mr. Kennedy vs. CM Punk vs. Randy Orton vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. King Booker vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Edge

With this match, we start the tradition of having too many people in a single MITB match and overcrowding the thing. Everyone looks up at the case until Kennedy goes to get a ladder. Orton heads to the floor to stop him as the big brawl begins. Finlay DIVES on everyone not named Edge, allowing the Canadian to make a climb, only to be stopped by Matt. They head to the floor, allowing Orton and Finlay to head up top for a brawl on the ladder.

They topple to the floor so it’s Jeff going up, only to be shoved down by Kennedy. Booker goes to pull out a ladder but it’s Horny’s, meaning it’s only about two feet tall. Punk takes it away and pounds on people with it, only to have Edge take over again. This is one of those matches that moves too fast to really keep track of things. Punk is bleeding from the forehead as Edge bridges a ladder between the ring and barricade.

Back inside and Booker takes over with kicks and spinebusters for everyone in sight. Before climbing though, here’s a Spinarooni. The distraction lets the Hardys crush Booker with some ladders before Matt and Edge go at it a bit. The Hardys set up a ladder seesaw but Jeff is sent off the top to break up whatever they were going to do to Edge. Instead Edge suplexes Matt onto the ladder, only to be sent to the floor by Kennedy.

Kennedy pounds away on Matt but the Kenton Bomb only hits ladder. Instead it’s Jeff with a Swanton to Mr. before the brothers team up to drop everyone in sight with the ladder. Both Hardys go up and start slugging it out on top of the ladder, only to be shoved into the top rope by Finlay. Edge hits the spear on Finlay and one for Orton and Booker as well. Kennedy and Matt take spears too and there’s one for Jeff to nearly complete the set. Punk jumps over Edge to send him into the corner and become the only man standing.

Punk puts the ladder around his head and spins around a bit to take everyone out until Edge thinks wisely and DUCKS, allowing him to take out Punk’s vulnerable ribs. Edge gets the big ladder and makes a climb, only to gets caught by Orton and shoved down to the floor. Jeff saves that though and climbs up on his own as Matt puts Edge on the ladder between the ring and the barricade. Jeff dives off the ladder THROUGH EDGE AND THROUGH THE LADDER! Needless to say, Edge and Jeff are DONE.

We’re down to six people in the match now and it’s Orton’s turn to take over with RKOs all around. He picks up a regular sized ladder but Punk knocks him down and sets up a second ladder in the middle of the ring. Apparently Jeff is still on the floor despite Edge being taken out. Orton and Punk both climb up and it’s an RKO off the top of the ladder to end Punk. Booker goes up but has to stop an RKO attempt with a Bookend off the ladder.

It’s Matt vs. Booker on the ladder but Matt drops down and threatens to give Sharmell the Twist of Fate, drawing Booker down. There’s the Twist to the King but Finlay (sporting a NASTY cut on the back of his head) shoves the ladder over. The Celtic Cross (White Noise) crushes Matt against the ladder but hurts Finlay’s back in the process. Finlay is barely able to stand so here’s Horny to climb for him.

Instead though Kennedy pops up the ladder….and gets smacked in the face by Horny. There’s a fireman’s carry roll off the ladder for the little guy’s efforts. Finlay destroys Kennedy with the ladder but gets knocked off the ladder by Matt. Now it’s Punk going up but Kennedy meets him on the ladder for a slugout. Punk shoves him off but Kennedy spears him in the ribs with another ladder, allowing Kennedy to climb up and win the case.

Rating: B. This was definitely the weakest of the matches so far as there were too many people in there and no one to have the big spots like Shelton. It’s definitely good but this one lacked the pop that most of these matches had over the years. Kennedy would lose the case to Edge a few weeks later.

Video on the premiere of The Condemned so we can clear the ring out.

Kennedy warns every champion that he’s coming for them and says he’s Mr. Money in the Bank. Bank.

Batista is All Grown Up.

Great Khali vs. Kane

This is when Khali is still a decent monster who could move a little bit. Kane is easily shoved down to start and then shoved to the floor for good measure. Back in and Kane slugs Khali, only to be chopped right back down. Off to the nerve hold before Khali slugs away in the corner. Kane comes back with punches of his own but is easily shoved down and across the ring.

Kane fires back with a right hand and tries the top rope clothesline but it only staggers Khali. Another shot sends Khali into the ropes and Kane has his opening. Kane heads to the floor and grabs a chain with a hook on the end which he used in the horror movie he was in around this time. Khali knocks him back and rips off the turnbuckle pad to distract the referee, allowing Kane to kick him low. In one of the big spots of the show, Kane slams Khali ala Hogan slamming Andre twenty years ago. That only gets two so they both grab chokeslams, but it’s Khali hitting the Punjabi Plunge for the one footed pin.

Rating: D-. The slam was cool and the rest was completely horrible. Khali was nothing good and somehow he would get even worse. Kane was in that weird period for him where he was just kind of there and doing nothing of note. By period, I mean about a five year stretch of course. Terrible match but the slam was good.

Post match Khali chokes him out with the chain and no one makes the save.

The Divas say they’re All Grown Up. The idea of taking them seriously is amusing.

Cryme Tyme tries to cheer up a now bald Eugene with an Extreme Expose dance party. That would be Kelly, Layla and Brooke (now Tessmacher) as a dance troupe. Instead Moolah and Mae Young show up and Eugene wants to dance with them. Cue REVEREND SLICK of all people to show us how it’s done. This brings in Dusty Rhodes who says you can’t have a dance party without him. The music comes back on and here are Sgt. Slaughter, Jimmy Hart and IRS to join in. Ricky Steamboat in full karate attire shows up until we get the Ron Simmons payoff.

Some Detroit Tigers are here.

US Title: MVP vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is defending and MVP is pretty new here. They head to the mat to start with MVP actually in control. Off to a headlock by the challenger but he has to shove Benoit to the floor to avoid the Crossface. Back in and Benoit can’t hook the Crossface as MVP keeps it on the mat with the headlocks. Back up and MVP pounds Benoit into the corner but charges into an elbow. A superplex attempt is blocked and Benoit’s arm is draped across the top rope to shift momentum again.

Back in and MVP works over the bad arm with some driving shoulder blocks. He misses a spinning kick though and Benoit busts out the Rolling Germans. The Swan Dive is broken up though and MVP goes back to the arm by sending it into the post. Off to an armbar again, followed by a running clothesline for two. Out of nowhere Benoit reverses a slam into a Crossface attempt but the arm is too weak to hook the hold. This time the slam works and there’s the Ballin elbow for two. MVP misses a charge into the corner and it’s time to roll some Germans. After four of those, Benoit hits the Swan Dive to retain.

Rating: C. Yeah that’s it. The match really never got off the ground and could have used another four minutes or so. As always the scariest part is thinking that Benoit only had about two months left so he likely wasn’t sane during this match. The match itself wasn’t bad but as mentioned it never got off the ground. MVP would win the title at Backlash and hold it for almost a year.

Video on Undertaker who is All Grown Up….I think.

Donald Trump is in his dressing room and complaining about the lack of food and drinks backstage. Boogeyman comes in for no apparent reason and Trump doesn’t seem impressed. Trump asks him for a sandwich. This uh…..happened. Yeah we’ll go with that.

Hall of Fame time. Mr. Perfect was one of the headliners here and gets a pretty touching tribute. William Shatner inducted Lawler, which is kind of annoying as Lawler had wanted Lance Russell (announcer of Memphis Wrestling for like forty years) to do it but WWE said no and picked Shatner because of a forgotten segment on Raw back in like 1995. The other headliner was Dusty Rhodes who asked to be made an honorary Horseman. That’s just wrong. No presentation to the crowd here which is weird.

The attendance is over 80,000, which is of course a new record.

Here’s the Fink because what would Wrestlemania be without him? Oh ok he’s doing the Hall of Fame live presentation to the crowd. JR gets easily the biggest pop of the entire class.

82% of the fans think Undertaker will win the title.

We recap Undertaker vs. Batista but there isn’t much to say. Taker won the Rumble and picked Batista for an awesome power match. They had to team up at No Way Out and Batista turned on him to give us a one night only heel, even though that’s not really too far out of Batista’s normal behavior.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Teddy Long does the intros here for some reason. We lso get the druids and the torches, which look AWESOME in the huge stadiums like this. The bell rings and Batista spears Taker down before pounding away in the corner. Undertaker fires off right hands of his own but Batista throws him right back into the corner. The fans are totally behind Undertaker here. They head to the floor with Undertaker being sent knees first into the steps as is his custom.

Back in and Batista hits a top rope shoulder for two. If you’re listening to Cole, you would think he had hit a 450. A big clothesline puts Taker down for two but Undertaker comes back with right hands and a running charge in the corner. The Snake Eyes and big boot combo puts Batista down and a legdrop gets two. Old School connects but Big Dave powers out of the chokeslam to huge booing.

The jumping clothesline puts Batista down again but only for two. Taker puts him on the apron for the elbow and legdrops before busting out the Taker Dive as is his custom at Wrestlemania. Taker pounds away even more but Batista counters to throw him through part of the barricade to take over. With Undertaker dazed, Batista loads up a powerslam from one announce table through the other, which actually isn’t countered.

Back in and that only gets two so the champion pounds away more for good measure. Batista loads up the Bomb but Taker plows him into the corner to counter. Dave comes right back with a belly to belly suplex for two. He pounds on Taker in the corner like a schmuck and of course there’s the Last Ride for two. Taker has a breather but walks right into the spinebuster.

Batista doesn’t cover though and gets caught in a chokeslam for a VERY close two. The Tombstone is countered and Batista hits the spear and Batista Bomb for an even closer two, shocking the champion. Batista loads up another Bomb but Taker backdrops out of it and avoids a spear, setting up the Tombstone for the title.

Rating: A. The idea is that these two were annoyed and decided to have an awesome match to show everyone up. These two would go on to have more great matches on shows where Batista actually had a chance to win. This was the feud of the year and it’s hard to argue as they could both work the power game like few others.

Lashley is All Grown Up.

Vince is in the back looking in a mirror when Stephanie comes in with a stroller. Vince goes off on Stephanie before playing with his granddaughter. Naturally there’s a camera from inside the stroller looking up at Vince. He promises to fracture Trump’s skull.

Joey tries to talk about the ECW Originals vs. the New Breed but we need to get this along.

New Breed vs. ECW Originals

It’s Elijah Burke/Matt Striker/Kevin Thron/Marcus Cor Van vs. Rob Van Dam/Tommy Dreamer/Sabu and for no reason whatsoever this is a regular eight man tag instead of the Extreme Rules match we would get on ECW a few days later. Striker starts with Sabu and Matt is in early trouble. It’s quickly off to Sandman vs. Burke but before Sandy does much he brings in Dreamer. Cor Von hits Dreamer in the back and comes in to pound away a bit.

It’s quickly back to Burke (the New Breed’s leader and more famous as D’Angelo Dinero) for the running knees to the back for two. Thorn comes in to crush Dreamer into the corner and put on a chinlock. Back up and a sitout powerbomb gets two for Thorn and here’s Cor Von again. Burke comes in as well but Dreamer takes them down with a simultaneous neckbreaker/reverse DDT combo. The hot tag brings in Van Dam and there’s the top rope kick to Thorn. Rolling Thunder lands on Striker as everything breaks down. With everyone else on the floor, Van Dam Five Stars Striker for the pin.

Rating: D+. Seriously, why wasn’t this the Extreme Rules match? The whole point of ECW is to be extreme but we got a seven minute tag match which went nowhere at all. The theory was to finally let these guys get on Wrestlemania, but Van Dam had been on it before and won a title here. Nothing to see here at all.

Austin is All Grown Up.

Wrestlemania 24 is in Orlando.

We recap the real main event for tonight’s show and the reason why this show was the highest drawing show ever for the next five years. Vince and Donald Trump both agreed to back a guy into a match and the losing billionaire would get their head shaved. This was when Trump was still a big deal and EVERYONE was backing Umaga because they wanted to see Trump bald. Oh except for Rock who actually cut a promo about wanting to see Vince bald.

Trump picked the ECW World Champion Bobby Lashley. Steve Austin was brought in to referee because this is Wrestlemania. The best part of the build was Lashley in a cage with Umaga on the floor. To escape, Lashley shoulder blocked the cage wall, knocking it down to the floor and nearly crushing Umaga in the process.

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

The barber’s chair gets its own entrance complete with some snappy music. Oh and Umaga is IC Champion. Trump coming out to a song with the only word being MONEY is perfect. Real money rains down from the ceiling, including $100 bills. To be fair this show brought in like 50 million dollars in PPV alone so they can afford a bit. They collide to start and slug it out with Lashley pounding him into the corner. Austin pulls Lashley off of Umaga since they’re in the ropes and Umaga gets in some shots of him own. Lashley goes up to the middle rope for a shoulder for two.

Umaga’s manager Armando Estrada is dragged in by Lashley and powerslammed down with ease. Lashley throws him out to the floor and low bridges Umaga to send him to the floor as well. Back in and Lashley misses a spear, sending him out to the floor this time. We head inside again and Umaga chokes away, only to be pulled off at four and a half by Austin. Austin has to do it again, this time by the hair for good measure.

A BIG clothesline puts Lashley down again and Umaga cannonballs down onto his chest for good measure. The Samoan drop puts Lashley down again as does a failed slam attempt. Vince gets up on the apron and gets dropped down by an elbow from Lashley, only to walk into a shot from Umaga to take over again. Umaga goes up and gets slammed down before being clotheslined down. Both guys down and Austin gets to nine before stopping so it doesn’t end in a draw.

Shane McMahon comes out to check on Vince as Umaga hits an uppercut to drop Lashley again. Austin has to pull Umaga out of the corner, earning him a Samoan Spike. Shane comes in and pounds away on Lashley until Umaga is back into things. The running hip attack crushes Bobby’s face and Vince throws in some trashcans. Shane hits the Coast to Coast to drive the can into Lashley’s face. A top rope splash from Umaga crushes Lashley and Shane has a referee’s shirt on now.

Austin breaks up the pin and beats up Shane for good measure, only to walk into another Samoan Spike. Trump isn’t sure what to do and shows off those great acting skills of his. Vince comes over to taunt him and TRUMP CLOTHESLINES VINCE! Umaga tries another Spike on Austin but gets countered into the Stunner. The spear from Lashley connects and it’s time for Vince to be bald.

Rating: D. This match sucked for the most part until Austin got going. The problem at the end of the day was no one on the planet with any idea what was going on here thought Vince was going to win. It also didn’t help that no one cared about Lashley because no one had ever given us a reason to. He was just kind of there for the most part and there was nothing more to him than he used to be a college wrestler and he’s muscular. Seriously, that’s Lashley’s story almost in full.

Post match they take FOREVER to Stun Vince and cut his hair. Austin Stuns him because that’s what Austin does to Vince. To their credit though, they SHAVE his head, not just trim it. Vince’s face during this whole thing is great as he goes from shock to the patented Vince rage in a few seconds. This led to three months of Vince/Shane/Umaga vs. Lashley which didn’t work for the most part. Austin, Lashley and Trump share beers and Trump gets Stunned. I’ll give the guy this: he has a soft spot for wrestling. He hosted two Wrestlemanias, was in the crowd for two more and did this.

John Cena is All Grown Up.

For no apparent reason other than we have nothing else to talk about, we look at the dark match with Flair/Carlito vs. Gregory Helms/Chavo Guerrero in a lumberjack match.

Womens Title: Melina vs. Ashley

It’s a lumberjill match and all of the other Divas are introduced. Melina is defending here because thank goodness Ashley never got the title. Ashley, who isn’t a wrestler, takes Melina down and pounds away. The crowd is audibly quiet for this match and can you blame them? Ashley pounds away in the corner and does some bad choking but Melina comes back by SCREAMING. Off to a bow and arrow for a bit as I have no interest in watching this match at all. Ashley misses an elbow and thankfully Melina reverses a rollup into one of her own to retain.

Rating: M. As in Mickie James, who was on the floor during this match instead of in the ring. Point blank, Ashley cannot wrestle. She was decent looking, but other than that she had nothing going for her at all. This was a popcorn break match and thankfully it was barely three minutes long as I couldn’t sit through much longer.

Shawn Michaels is All Grown Up.

We recap Michaels vs. Cena. Shawn won a triple threat to set this up and then won the tag titles with Cena. The idea is Shawn has turned on every one of his partners in his career and he’ll do it again here. No music video here for some reason.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Remember that they’re tag champions here but neither guy wears the belt. I can’t say I blame them of course. Cena’s special entrance this year is driving a muscle car from “the parking lot” into the arena due to being in Detroit. They circle each other to start before Shawn slaps him in the face. A quick headlock doesn’t do much for Shawn so he uses his speed advantage to pop John with some right hands. Back to the headlock and it works a bit better this time as Shawn takes Cena down to the mat.

Cena has had enough of this defense thing and rings Shawn’s bell with a clothesline. Shawn is sent to the apron but he tosses Cena from the ring and out to the floor. A BIG chop staggers Cena but Shawn’s Asai Moonsault hits mostly table and Shawn is hurt. Luckily for him though Cena is even more hurt as they head back inside. Shawn chops away in the corner before going after Cena’s knee. The leg is wrapped around the post and Cena is in trouble. The referee asks Cena if he can continue and of course Cena says yes.

Shawn keeps kicking at the leg before wrapping it around the ring rope. With Cena down in the corner, Shawn stares straight at him to play even more mind games. Back up and John hits a big right hand to send Shawn flying across the ring. Shawn charges straight back at him with a shoulder into the ribs in the corner to keep control. Michaels charges again but Cena’s leg gives out and Shawn goes head first into the post, busting him open.

Cena has had enough of getting beaten up so he punches Shawn down before firing off some mounted right hands. The ProtoBomb and Shuffle hit but Shawn punches his way out of the FU. Cena is sent into the corner but manages to duck Sweet Chin Music. The referee isn’t so lucky though and is knocked senseless. Cena tries the FU but is countered into a DDT to put both guys down.

With no referee in sight, Shawn rolls to the floor and hits a sick piledriver onto the steps. The THUD when Cena’s head hit was a little scary. The back of Cena’s head is cut open BAD on top of that. Back in and here’s a second referee but the count only gets two. There are the forearm and nip-up as the blood flows down Shawn’s face. The top rope elbow connects but Cena blocks Chin Music with a big clothesline to put both guys down again.

They slug it out in the middle of the ring but the FU is countered again into a sunset flip for two. Shawn’s leap frog is caught in the FU but Cena is too banged up to cover. The very delayed cover gets two and the champ is getting frustrated. With nothing else to do he tries an FU off the top, only to be shoved off by Shawn. Michaels dives at Cena but gets caught in the FU position. He counters that as well though by landing on his feet, only to miss the superkick and have Cena try for the STFU. Cena keeps trying for it but gets small packaged down for two instead.

Shawn misses an enziguri attempt and now the STFU is on. Cena cranks back on it but Shawn is only a few inches away from the rope. As Shawn starts to black out he grabs the rope and Cena has to break. He takes a bit too long though and gets in an argument with the referee, allowing Shawn to kick Cena’s head off. Another delayed cover gets two and both guys are down. In a cool spot, both guys have to lean on the other to get up. The FU is countered again but Shawn can’t avoid the STFU again. Cena cranks back on it and Shawn has no choice but to tap out.

Rating: A-. This was a much better match than the HHH match from the year before for a few reasons. First of all, there was a story behind the match. As simple as it was, Shawn being Cena’s partner gave them a bond and seeing them fight was something interesting to see. Second, the drama was better here. Cena felt like he was in real trouble and that the title was in danger, which I never felt last year. It’s a better match overall and they would have even better ones in the future.

A highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This is a show where the stuff that is bad is really bad but the stuff that is good is REALLY good. There are only eight matches on the card and three of them are very good to great. The best part about that though is the bad matches (other than one) were all short and pretty easy to get through. The show is completely forgettable other than Trump vs. Vince and maybe Undertaker vs. Batista, but it’s worth seeing. I would however recommend fast forwarding through some of the weaker parts.

Ratings Comparison

CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Finlay vs. Randy Orton vs. King Booker vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Booker T vs. Edge

Original: B+

Redo: B

Great Khali vs. Kane

Original: D

Redo: D-

Chris Benoit vs. MVP

Original: B

Redo: C

Undertaker vs. Batista

Original: B+

Redo: A

ECW Originals vs. New Breed

Original: D+

Redo: D

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

Original: C-

Redo: D

Melina vs. Ashley

Original: F

Redo: M (for Mickie James)

John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: B+

Almost everything goes down and the rating goes up. I’m a complex guy sometimes.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/30/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-23-over-80000-people/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

Smackdown
Date: March 28, 2014
Location: TD Bank North Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the last regular Smackdown before they head to the Crescent City. The main stories are all set at this point so this show is just going to be about firming up the plans for Wrestlemania. The only match announced for tonight is Big Show vs. Bray Wyatt which should be a good win for the monster. That would be the monster with hair in case that’s not clear. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Batista to get things going. Batista wants to know why the fans are booing a six time World Champion, the winner of the 2014 Royal Rumble and the headliner of Wrestlemania XXX. They boo him, but they cheer for Daniel Bryan? This brings him to a clip from Raw with Batista implying Stephanie is shall we say, friendly, and getting slapped as a result. Batista thinks Stephanie hits harder than any of his opponents, which brings out HHH.

The boss suggests leaving Stephanie out of this but Batista asks why we should do that. She’s responsible for the suit and for HHH being COO. HHH wouldn’t have anything without marrying the boss’ daughter. Triple H says this is the Reality Era and it doesn’t matter why he has what he has and all that matters is what he has. He asks why Batista wants to make this personal. Batista says it’s because HHH has accused him of living off his past glories, which includes never losing to HHH. Now HHH is trying to take Batista’s title and that’s not cool with Big Dave.

HHH agrees that he’s never beaten Batista but that was a long time ago. Batista has gotten lazy after getting all that success and he’s been in Hollywood letting his stuntman doing all his work. Now he’s back in WWE and HHH has yet to see the Animal. HHH has shown what he can do a few weeks ago against Daniel Bryan. You know, the little guy that Batista couldn’t finish off. However, HHH is willing to help Batista again tonight. Maybe he can find that Animal in his match against Sheamus.

We look back at the fourway from last week, leading to Shield being beaten down by Kane and the Outlaws.

Shield vs. 3MB

Rollins/Ambrose vs. Mahal/McIntyre and Seth starts against Jinder. JBL brings up a good point: the Shield has dominated the last year but three guys from the Attitude Era took them down. Rollins hits Two Amigos before bringing in Ambrose for the third. Back to Rollins who gets taken into the corner and pounded by McIntyre. Drew thrusts his hips at Reigns for some reason but it allows Seth to roll over for the tag to Ambrose. The running dropkick against the ropes has Drew in trouble and Seth hits the big dive to take out Mahal. The bulldog driver, now named Dirty Deeds, is enough to pin McIntyre at 3:04.

Rating: D+. You can only be so entertaining in a three minute match. At least Shield didn’t sell too much for 3MB as they’re already going to have to sell for a team that couldn’t remember if they were good or bad a month ago. It’s nice to see Ambrose getting a clean pin as well.

Post match Kane and the Outlaws come out and say they’ll end Shield at Wrestlemania. That’s unlike what Shield is going to do to their next opponents.

Shield vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

This is joined in progress after a break with Ambrose taking Curtis down with a drop toehold. Ryback offers a quick distraction though and Axel knocks Dean to the floor. Dean gets caught in the corner as the announcers do their usual bickering. Ryback loads up a suplex but gets countered into a nice DDT. The hot tag brings in Rollins to clean house with a Blockbuster to Axel. A series of kicks takes Axel down and Ambrose jumps off the steps to pound on Ryback. Rollins unleashes the dive to Ryback before countering a PerfectPlex into the Peace of Mind for the pin on Axel at 4:14.

Rating: C-. More entertaining match here with Rollins stealing the show again. I’m still not sure why we need extra proof that the Shield can dominate when they’re coming into a match against the Outlaws. But hey, Gunn and Dogg were awesome in the Attitude Era and that means the match will rock now right?

Post match Shield points at the Authority members on stage and lays out Ryback with the Superman Punch and Triple Bomb.

Sin Cara vs. Damien Sandow

The maskless one takes him into the corner to start and drives a knee into his ribs for two. We’re in a chinlock thirty seconds into the match but Sin Cara rolls him up out of the corner for the pin at 1:04.

Big Show says what the Wyatts did to Cena on Raw was very disturbing. However, some of the stuff Bray has been saying makes sense. That’s how they suck you in, but tonight they have a giant problem on their hands.

Fandango vs. Goldust

No Cody for this one. Summer is looking great tonight in an outfit similar to Jasmine from Aladdin. Fandango takes him down to start and puts on a very early chinlock. Goldust fights up with a belly to back suplex followed by an atomic drops and right hands in the corner. The powerslam gets two for Goldust and they head outside where Summer distracts Goldust long enough for Fandango to kick him in the head and grab a handful of tights for the pin at 3:16.

Rating: D. Summer was the only interesting thing to see in this match. She looked great and was so goofy when she was distracting Goldust that she was kind of adorable. The match was barely long enough to rate and the first minute or so was spent on a chinlock and laying around after the suplex.

Batista vs. Sheamus

HHH is watching from the back. Batista hides in the corner to start until Sheamus nails him with a shoulder block to send the Animal to the floor. A chase goes badly for the Irishman and Batista drives shoulders into the corner. Batista scores with a big clothesline before dropping Sheamus with a knee to the ribs.

There’s the spinebuster but Batista walks around instead of following up. The delay lets Sheamus nail Batista with a clothesline and come back with his usual high powered offense. Batista fights out of the ten forearms but Sheamus makes the second attempt work. A powerslam looks to set up the Brogue Kick but Batista bails tot he floor. Sheamus follows but walks into a chair to the right for the DQ at 5:33.

Rating: C. This was a nice power brawl and more importantly, Sheamus looked like an equal to Batista. Batista was in trouble at the end and that’s how you make Sheamus look awesome. This is the kind of stuff that Batista should be doing a lot of the time and it worked well here.

Batista sends Sheamus into the post and hits the Batista Bomb. He asks if HHH is happy now and promises to leave Wrestlemania as champion.

The Raw ReBound looks at the Wyatts attacking Cena on Monday.

Bray Wyatt is holding a mask and says if you give it to a man, he’ll reveal his true face. Every man wears a mask at some point John, whether it’s to to hide his intentions or not. Cena has hidden behind a mask for so long that it’s become him, but when he removes it he removes his own skin. Bray’s sword has left a scar on Cena’s soul that can never heal. Can’t Cena hear the song? Bray will never forget what the woman singing first told him. A man’s secret comes to life underneath the shade of the cypress tree. He sings part of He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands and we’re done.

Bella Twins vs. AJ Lee/Tamina

Vickie Guerrero is on commentary to explain the 14 Divas match at Wrestlemania. Her explanation: it’s going to be awesome. Brie quickly takes AJ down to start but it’s quickly off to Nikki for a middle rope kick to the face. Tamina comes in and nails Nikki in the face before it’s back to the champion for a two count.

We hit the guillotine choke from AJ which transitions into a sleeper until AJ lets go and brings Tamina in again. Snuka misses a middle rope splash and it’s back to Brie for some dropkicks. A middle rope dropkick sends Tamina to the apron where she nails AJ in the face and tags her in, setting up the Bella Buster for the pin at 3:27.

Rating: D+. The Bellas looked good in their outfits, most of the focus was on Vickie, AJ loses again. Next.

Santino and Emma are on a sound stage that is supposed to look like a restaurant for a date. She calls him the ultimate friend with benefits but means benefits like going out together instead of the usual meaning. We get a staring contest for a bit before Emma says she feels the same way he does: they’ll always be best friends. Santino freaks out and says he can’t eat. He chokes on something and makes it worse by trying to drink wine. The wine is spat out on Emma and thankfully the segment ends.

Jack Swagger vs. Jimmy Uso

Jack takes him into the corner to start but Jimmy knocks him outside and hits the big dive over the top. Back in and a high cross body gets two followed by something resembling a Whisper in the Wind for the same. Not that it matters as Swagger takes out the knee and the Patriot Lock is good for the win at 1:58.

We look at Undertaker and Lesnar brawling on Raw.

Mark Henry vs. The Miz

Henry takes too long pointing at the sign and Miz nails some kicks to the ribs to start. A dropkick to the knee puts Henry down and Miz goes to work on the leg. He cranks on the ankle a bit but lets Henry up and charges into a boot to the face. Mark misses a Vader Bomb and bangs up his knee again. The Figure Four is easily broken up but Miz throws him over the top and out to the floor. Miz gets sent hard into the steps for his efforts and a whip into the barricade has him in trouble as well. Back in and the World’s Strongest Slam gets the pin at 3:30.

Rating: C. Much better than I was expecting here, even though that doesn’t mean all that much. Miz working on the leg made sense and the throw over the top was a surprising visual. I can also forgive the leg work here as it only lasted a few moments and Henry’s legs are thick enough that some basic stuff from Miz wouldn’t have very long term effects.

Razor Ramon Hall of Fame video.

Big Show vs. Bray Wyatt

The giant shoves him into the corner to start but Bray smiles at him. Wyatt is sent out to the floor so he sits in front of the announce table and says that was nice. Back in and Bray tells Show to show him all his might. Big Show hammers away in the corner and knocks Bray around with a headbutt. Wyatt charges into a boot to the face but avoids an elbow drop.

It’s Wyatt in control now and kicking away at the giant but being launched off a cover. The Spider Walk looks good but only gets Bray clotheslined down. He comes back with a splash in the corner but has to stop before running into a boot to the face. Something like a Stunner to the leg puts Big Show down and Harper gets in a shot of his own. Sister Abigail gets the pin at 4:10.

Rating: C-. This is the kind of win that Bray needed going into the pay per view. You don’t often get to see him wrestle but he always puts on a good show when he does. Big Show is still someone who can give a rub and that’s what we got here. Nice main event and thankfully it didn’t last too long.

Overall Rating: C+. Tonight was a night of wrestling and did a nice job of firming up things for the show in nine days. Other than Sandow vs. Sin Cara and Fandango vs. Goldust, most of the matches had some storyline development, but even those four guys are all in the battle royal. It’s a good show to set up Wrestlemania and that’s the kind of thing WWE needs right now.

Results

Shield b. 3MB – Dirty Deeds to McIntyre

Shield b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Peace of Mind to Axel

Sin Cara b. Damien Sandow – Rollup

Fandango b. Goldust – Kick to the head

Sheamus b. Batista via DQ when Batista used a chair

Bella Twins b. AJ Lee/Tamina – Bella Buster to Lee

Jack Swagger b. Jimmy Uso – Patriot Lock

Mark Henry b. The Miz – World’s Strongest Slam

Bray Wyatt b. Big Show – Sister Abigail

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestlemania XXI
Date: April 3, 2005
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 20,193
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re at the launch of a new era in WWE as Batista and Cena are ready to take over the company as the next generation of top stars. They’re challenging HHH and JBL tonight in the respective title matches in what really are company altering matches. On top of that we’ve got Angle vs. HBK and the first MITB match, making this a PACKED show. The theme tonight is Wrestlemania Goes Hollywood which means we get some outstanding parody film trailers. Let’s get to it.

Lillian Garcia (looking GREAT in a baby blue outfit which shows off her flat stomach) sings America the Beautiful.

The Wrestlemania 21 logo is revealed.

We get a montage of the trailers (HHH as Braveheart, John Cena/JBL from A Few Good Men, Undertaker as Dirty Harry, Eugene as Forrest Gump and many more. Look these up) set to Behind Those Eyes by 3 Doors Down.

We get the final trailer which is Gladiator with Steve Austin as Russell Crowe.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

They’re tag team champions but fighting to see who is better here as Eddie is getting frustrated by Rey unintentionally showing him up. Rey is in a Mexican/American double flag themed outfit here instead of his usual superhero stuff. Rey immediately starts adjusting his mask which will be a recurring theme tonight. Eddie takes him to the mat with a headlock and Rey is already messing with his mask.

An armdrag puts Mysterio down and Eddie grabs a test of strength grip. Back up and Rey tries a sunset flip, only to be catapulted out to the floor. Eddie slides out but Rey slides back in, only to miss a 619 to the floor. Back in and they grab another strength grip before Eddie flips Rey over. The referee counts and they bridge up at the exact same time in a cool visual.

Rey is backdropped but lands on his feet, only to have to adjust the mask again. Eddie is backdropped now and tweaks his knee in the process. Rey is knocked to the floor though and there’s a plancha by Guerrero to take him out. Back in and Eddie cranks on the arms a bit before suplexing a mask fixing Mysterio down for two. Guerrero hooks a surfboard submission but has to leg it go because his own shoulders were down.

Off to an STF on Rey which shifts into an armbar. Eddie tries a powerbomb but gets armdragged out to the floor instead. A BIG corkscrew dive to the floor keeps Eddie down as does a seated senton back inside. Back up and Eddie tries Three Amigos but gets rolled up for two instead. There’s a backbreaker for two on Rey followed by Three Amigos but Guerrero tries a fourth and is sent into 619 position.

Eddie pops up and hits another backbreaker for two, causing his frustrations to start coming out. Three more Amigos set up the Frog Splash but Rey gets out at the last second. Naturally, Rey adjusts his mask. La Majistral gets two for Mysterio and there’s the 619 to send Eddie sprawling across the ring. The West Coast Pop is countered into a powerbomb for two and Eddie isn’t sure what to do. Instead of following up though, Eddie gets caught in a standing rana for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: C+. This was a disappointment. At the end of the day, these two didn’t live up to the expectations they had set, especially given their masterpieces back in WCW. They never got out of first or even second gear and that really brought things down. The match felt like they were trying to have a masterpiece and they collapsed under the weight. It was ok, but it could and should have been SO much more.

Eddie doesn’t turn on Rey after the match. That would come later.

JBL and Orlando Jordan bump into HHH and Flair. JBL says that he’s never lost the world title like HHH has and HHH is going to add another loss to his total tonight. A showdown is teased but everyone backs down.

Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider are here.

Edge vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Benoit vs. Christian vs. Kane

This is the first ever Money in the Bank ladder match and thankfully there are only six people instead of the eight that we usually get today. In a cool visual, Kane’s fire engulfs a bunch of ladders on the stage before everyone else attacks him to start things off. Kane goes for the ladder but everyone jumps him to stop him from getting any weapons. Benjamin and Benoit hit a double suplex on the Big Bald and there’s the opening bell.

Jericho hits Christian in the face with the first ladder and it’s Jericho vs. Benjamin in the ring. The bulldog takes Shelton down but Jericho has to dropkick Edge and Benoit to the floor. A slingshot plancha takes Edge down again Christian dives on all three other Canadians before Shelton dives onto all four of them. Kane goes up top and takes out a bunch of guys as well before pulling out the first ladder.

Before Kane can climb though he has to knock down everyone else, only to have Jericho dropkick him down. Jericho gets the ladder and crushes various people with it before dropping the ladder onto Edge. Benoit grabs Jericho for a German suplex though to send him flying before Benoit tries to climb up. Kane makes a save but gets caught in the Crossface instead. Now there’s a Crossface to Edge but Kane breaks it up with a ladder shot to Benoit’s chest.

Kane follows that up by crushing Benoit’s arm with the ladder, only to be speared by Edge. Edge and Christian stare at each other before crushing Kane between some ladders. Shelton takes both former partners down with a springboard clothesline before trying the Dragon Whip on Edge but kicking the ladder into Christian instead. Edge whips Shelton into the ladder but the spear hits the ladder instead of Benjamin. A Stinger Splash against the ladder crushes Edge and it’s time for a climb.

It’s Jericho and Benjamin up on the ladder but here are Christian and Benoit on their own ladder. Edge climbs a third ladder before Christian hits a DDT onto Benoit’s arm to pull him down to the mat. Jericho is knocked down as well and Shelton hits the T-Bone Exploder off the ladder to crush Edge yet again.

Now we have two ladders set up, one of which set up like a ramp to reach the standing ladder. Jericho climbs up but Benjamin runs up the ladder ramp and clotheslines Jericho off the top and out to the floor. Shelton climbs up but Christian hits him in the ribs with a ladder to put him down again. Christian’s problem solver Tomko comes in now and sets up a ladder for his employer to send Christian to the top. Kane comes back in and fights both guys off before shoving Christian off the ladder off the ladder and out onto Tomko on the floor.

Jericho and Kane both go up and both crash down almost as fast. With one good arm, Benoit comes back in and tries to load up a ladder, but being the psycho that he is, he hits the Swan Dive on Kane instead of going for the case. Now Benoit goes up and rams his head into Kane to send him down (much scarier now than it used to be) but Edge hits Benoit in the bad arm with a chair and climbs up to become the first Mr. Money in the Bank.

Rating: B+. This was the spiritual successor to TLC and having it be every man for himself made it all the better. It worked very well with six men instead of the eight that it would become, making this one arguably the best overall. Very fun match and the spots were still crisp and fresh. Good stuff here.

Here’s Eugene who is still almost kind of popular at this point. Eugene talks about the midget match from Wrestlemania 3 when the midgets attacked King Kong Bundy because he’s so excited to be here. This brings out Muhammad Hassan and Daivari who don’t like being mistreated by Americans because they’re Arab Americans. Hassan makes fun of Eugene and goes on a rant about being left off of Wrestlemania.

He complains about Hollywood being phony before Daivari yells at Eugene too Hassan decks a still injured Eugene and putting him in a camel clutch. We need a savior here and it’s HULK HOGAN walking down that aisle! The arena, in a word, loses it. Daivari and Hassan jump him but it’s a double noggin knocker for those meanies. Hogan punches Hassan down and chops away before booting him down. Hassan is sent flying and Daivari hits Hogan in the back with a chair. That has absolutely no effect and there’s the big boot for Daivari’s troubles. Hogan stands tall and it’s time to pose. As in for nearly five minutes.

We recap Orton vs. Undertaker. Orton was on fire last year and won the world title before losing to HHH because Orton was on fire on the same show HHH was on. After moving on from the Game, Orton decided to go after the Streak because he’s the Legend Killer. Orton made it clear that he was evil now by acquiring a girlfriend in Stacy Keibler so he could RKO her. That’s about it but do you need more?

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

It’s Wrestlemania so we get druids, chanting and torches for Undertaker’s entrance. This is never not cool. We also get the Burn in My Light theme for Orton from back when Orton looked like a 24 year old and not like he was made out of orange shoe leather. Undertaker is just 12-0 at this point. Feeling out process to start until Orton scores a quick dropkick for two. A single right hand puts Orton down but a quick rollup out of the corner gets two for Randy.

Undertaker throws him into the corner and drops the leg on Orton on the apron for good measure. Old School drops Orton again but Undertaker misses a running boot in the corner, allowing Orton to dropkick him out to the floor. Back in and a clothesline puts Taker down again for two but a running DDT drops Orton for two for the tall guy. Undertaker follows up with some clotheslines in the corner before loading up the snake eyes/big boot combo. Orton blocks the coming boot with an uppercut but he stops to pose, allowing Undertaker to sit up.

They slug it out until Undertaker simply runs Orton over for two. Off to a dragon sleeper by Taker which clearly makes Orton tap but it doesn’t count this early I guess. Orton twists around into a nice DDT for two before we hit the chinlock. Taker fights up so it’s a sleeper instead, only for Taker to counter again with a belly to back suplex. Back up and Orton powerslams Undertaker down for two but he makes the eternal mistake of punching Undertaker in the corner and gets caught in the Last Ride.

Orton escapes though and tries the RKO, only to be shoved off. He grazes the referee on the way to the ropes which apparently passes for a ref bump. The Last Ride is countered again and here’s Randy’s dad Bob with the cast (that’s a VERY slow healing injury as it’s at about 23 years now) to give Orton a VERY close two. In one of my favorite counters ever, Taker loads up the chokeslam but Orton counters in mid air into the RKO for two. Like any good lunkhead, Orton loads up the Tombstone but gets countered into the real thing to make Taker 13-0.

Rating: C+. While not great, Orton was trying out there. The problem was that Orton had been crushed so badly by HHH that there was no reason to buy him as a threat here. I won’t say didn’t even have to break a sweat here but other than that RKO counter and MAYBE the cast shot, Undertaker was never in any danger or even extended trouble.

We recap Trish vs. Christy Hemme. Christy looked amazing in Playboy and Trish got jealous because she was Women’s Champion but couldn’t get any respect. Hemme, who wasn’t a wrestler, challenged Trish to a title match. Lita was coaching Hemme to try to make this interesting but it never worked at all.

Women’s Title: Christy Hemme vs. Trish Stratus

Trish immediately takes it to the floor and sends Christy knees first into the steps. Did I mention this is Christy’s singles debut? Christy comes back with some kicks that look amateur at best. Stratus comes back with some chops in the corner but gets caught in a sunset flip for two. Trish hits a hard kick to Christy’s ribs and shoves the injured Lita into the barricade. Christy fires off more kicks and hits a reverse Twist of Fate for two. Trish has enough of this and Chick Kicks Hemme down to retain.

Rating: F. This is where you can tell that the Playboy push was a terrible idea. At the end of the day, Hemme was a model, not a wrestler. If they want to hire models, then either teach them for a long time or don’t have them wrestle, because this kind of stuff is embarrassing. I’m not saying Hemme wasn’t trying or anything like that, but she simply didn’t have the talent to be here. Trish would hold the title until next Wrestlemania.

We recap Shawn s. Angle which I think is going to be better. They put each other out of the Rumble but Angle snapped because when he won a gold medal, everyone kept talking about how awesome Shawn Michaels was and now fifteen years later, Angle wants to get Shawn back for it. Shawn says Angle is great, but this is Wrestlemania and therefore Shawn’s world.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle

This was when Angle was the wrestling machine so this should be awesome. Kurt takes in the YOU SUCK chants because that’s how awesome he is. I should mention the set as it has the Hollywood sign on one side and a movie marquee on the other side which says Now Playing and then the match, making it feel all the more special. They stare it down to start until Shawn slaps him in the face.

Angle takes it to the mat and rides Shawn to frustrate him. Shawn gets to a rope and gives Kurt a look like “o………..k then time for a new plan.” Michaels grabs a headlock takeover to slow things down but the fans are behind Kurt. Kurt fights up but can’t escape the hold without using the ropes. Nice storytelling there with Shawn gladly going to the ropes but Angle going to them out of frustration.

Off to a short arm scissors by Shawn for a bit but Angle uses raw power to lift Shawn up into the air. However, since Shawn had that move used on him back in 1992 by British Bulldog, he knows how to roll through into a sunset flip for two. See, THAT is how you play to older fans with some awesome psychology. Back to the headlock as Angle is getting frustrated by Michaels dominating the mat.

Angle takes it into the corner to brawl with Shawn but Shawn ties him up instead. This is also a callback to Wrestlemania XII where Shawn used the exact same strategy on Bret. Angle grabs a quick ankle lock but Shawn rolls through and a Cactus Clothesline puts them both on the floor. Angle loads up the announce table but opts to pick up Shawn in the Angle Slam and ram Shawn back first into the post to take over again.

Back in and Angle gets two off a suplex before putting on a body vice with a chinlock. The fans are split here but Shawn fights up with some chops to take over. Kurt will have none of that though and suplexes Shawn down to stop the comeback bid. Another belly to belly gets two and it’s off to a chinlock with a knee in Shawn’s back. Michaels gets up again and they slug it out with Angle taking Shawn down with a hard clothesline.

Shawn blocks a superplex attempt but Kurt rolls away from the top rope elbow. There go Angle’s straps but Shawn counters the Angle Slam and backdrops Kurt to the floor. Shawn goes up and half dives/half falls onto Angle with a cross body. As they get back in, Angle tries his German suplex off the apron but Shawn kicks him low like a good former villain. With Angle on the announce table, Shawn hits a gorgeous springboard spinning cross body to send Angle onto the floor as the table doesn’t break.

Both guys make it in on different sides of the ring at nine. Angle is bleeding from the mouth. They slug it out again with Shawn taking over. There’s the forearm and nip-up as Shawn’s back is perfectly fine all of a sudden. Now the big elbow hits but the superkick is countered into the ankle lock but Shawn FINALLY makes the rope. The Angle Slam is rolled through but Angle counters into the ankle lock but Shawn counters into a rollup for two. Another superkick is caught and there’s the Angle Slam for two.

To show how angry Kurt is, he puts his straps up just so he can take them down all over again. In a scary spot, Angle tries the moonsault but Shawn doesn’t roll away far enough, sending Angle’s face into Shawn’s side. Shawn goes up again but Angle runs up the corner for the belly to belly off the top. Somehow that only gets two and Angle yells at Shawn, talking about how Michaels’ days are done. Shawn shoves him back and superkicks Angle down but he can’t follow up.

The cover eventually gets two and Shawn isn’t sure what to do now. He slowly stands up but Angle grabs the ankle lock again. Shawn tries to kick Angle off but Kurt won’t let go. They’re in the middle of the ring with Shawn writhing in pain. Angle puts on the grapevine and Shawn is all but dead. He hangs on for as long as he can before FINALLY tapping out to give Angle the win.

Rating: A+. Angle and Shawn at Wrestlemania having a masterpiece. Who would have ever seen that coming? The match was excellent all around and the match never stopped being great. They would have another masterpiece at Summerslam which again shouldn’t surprise anyone. Great match here and definitely worth seeing if you haven’t before.

Shawn gets the big ovation post match.

We get the Basic Instinct trailer which is Stacy Keibler flashing Jericho, Benoit and Christian while implying she and Trish are lesbians.

Moolah and Mae Young are here.

It’s time for Piper’s Pit with newly inducted Hall of Famer Roddy Piper. Apparently his guest is Steve Austin but it takes Piper forever to get to the entrance. Piper is pretty much rambling here as is his custom most of the time. Oh wait Piper says that he’s the toughest guy around here rather than Austin. Here’s the Rattlesnake for his annual cameo. They slap each other as this is supposed to be some epic encounter I think. Piper gets annoyed at the WHAT chants but gets into the concept pretty quickly.

This goes on WAY too long as Piper says that he’s the real rebel instead of Austin. Austin makes fun of the way Piper looks and asks if he’s supposed to be scared or intimidated. Piper says they’re failing to communicate and here’s Carlito of all people. Piper thinks Carlito looks like Alfalfa and insults are traded. Carlito has his own apple spat in his face by Roddy so Piper is beaten down. Austin beats up Carlito, beer is consumed and Austin Stuns both guys. This went on WAY too long and was more awkward than anything else.

We get the Taxi Driver trailer which is most of the roster trying to do “You talking to me?” with very mixed results. Batista does a Who’s On First bit as he asks for his line and the script guy keeps saying “You talking to me?” constantly frustrating Big Dave. Good stuff.

Akebono vs. Big Show

Time for our “celebrity” match of the year. Akebono, a grand sumo champion, is going to face Big Show in a sumo match. There’s a circle in the ring (that’s kind of overkill) and you have to knock the other guy out of it or off his feet to win. Show of course is in the sumo thong because what else would you expect from him?

The big idea here is that Akebono is outweighed for the first time ever. They spend way too long setting this up before the whole match lasts like a minute with Akebono throwing Show out of the circle. Seriously, that’s it. Total waste of time here. Yes, a legit sumo grand champion beat a guy with no idea what he was doing.

We recap Cena vs. JBL which is a culture clash. The idea is simple: Cena is the new young guy who is popular with the fans while JBL is old, rich and reserved. JBL has held the title forever and someone has to stop him eventually. Cena has been at war with JBL and his Cabinet as well so it’s basically 4-1 tonight. JBL has spent months insulting Cena’s life and family because Cena can’t touch him without losing his title shot. JBL couldn’t touch him either or he would lose the title, so Cena spraypainted a lot of JBL’s stuff.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL gets a police escort for his limo as JBL dollars fall from the sky. Surprisingly enough the champ sends Orlando Jordan and the Bashams to the back before the match. This is one of the rare instances where “My Time Is Now” is very appropriate. It’s a feeling out process to start but Cena runs into a boot in the corner. The champion starts pounding away in the corner and there’s the fallaway slam for good measure.

JBL chokes away on the ropes as this is in very slow mode to start. They slug it out for a bit but Cena charges into a spinebuster to put him down again. A neckbreaker gets two for the champion and a big clothesline gets two on Cena. JBL puts on a sleeper but Cena counters into a belly to back suplex to put both guys down. A double clothesline puts both guys down and we head to the floor for a neckbreaker by the champion.

Back in and JBL puts Cena down with a superplex for a delayed two as the crowd is mostly dead. Layfield goes up but dives into a powerslam for no cover. Cena comes back with his usual stuff including the Shuffle. Cena pumps up his shoes and after ducking the Clothesline, the FU (now called the AA) gives Cena his first of many world titles.

Rating: D. This was a REALLY dull match as JBL was freaking terrible in the ring at this point. He was so slow and lethargic and the match never worked at all. The ending sucked too as JBL didn’t even hit his finisher before taking the FU for the pin. Their rematch at Judgment Day was WAY better as it was a total brawl which suited JBL to perfection.

We do the Hall of Fame stuff. The class is introduced and Orndorff is far more impressed with Miss Jackie than anything else. The class this year is Volkoff, Iron Sheik, Orndorff, Bob Orton, Jimmy Hart, Piper and Hogan. Guess who gets the biggest reaction by far.

Wrestlemania 22 is in Chicago.

We recap the main event. HHH was world champion for the better part of ever in Evolution but Batista was becoming the big star. In January Batista won the Royal Rumble and got to pick HHH or JBL to challenge at Wrestlemania. Batista overheard HHH and Flair calling Batista stupid and HHH’s days were numbered.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. HHH

Since this is HHH, he gets the big entrance with Motorhead before Batista comes out, meaning Batista gets a much weaker entrance. Little things like that are why people can’t stand the guy. The singer for Motorhead BUTCHERS the song, but then again it isn’t likely one he sings that often. Oh and HHH rises through the stage with the band and gets to pose with them before Batista just walks out. For a big old school fan like HHH, it’s pretty interesting that he comes out first like that, no? Batista also doesn’t have pyro yet so he looks like he’s having a seizure on the stage. No I Walk Alone yet either.

They lock up to start with HHH shoving him against the ropes. The locking up continues with Batista not being able to shove HHH down like a power guy should be doing. A shoulder block puts HHH down but HHH gets to run Batista over this time. You know, so it’s clear that HHH is every bit as strong. A Pedigree is countered and Batista powerslams the champion down. Big Dave hits some shots to the face in the corner followed by a backdrop. Dang they’re really cranking this up now.

HHH hits the jumping knee to the face to send Batista back to the floor. Yet again, Batista can’t get anything going at all. Batista gets distracted by Flair and is sent into the steps by the champ. Back in and HHH drops an elbow on Batista’s back to keep control as this has been mostly one sided so far. Flair gets in some choking and HHH drops more elbows on the back. A suplex puts Batista down for two as this is already going slowly. Flair chokes away even more before HHH guillotines Batista out to the floor.

We get the “deliberate pace” line from JR which means “dear freaking goodness DO SOMETHING ALREADY!”. Batista hits some right hands to wake the crowd up a bit but there’s the HHH spinebuster to make sure HHH doesn’t look bad at all. The Pedigree is countered with a backdrop but there’s the facebuster to stop Batista again. We’re eleven minutes into this match and it’s ALL HHH so far. The Game goes up but jumps into a clothesline followed by a side slam for two.

The fans don’t get fired up of course though and they have no reason to. Batista’s offense has been stopped cold every time and there it is again as he charges into a boot in the corner. Batista throws him to the floor but YET AGAIN HHH stops him by sending him into the steps. The Pedigree on the steps is countered into a catapult into the post to bust the champion open. Back in and Batista pounds on the cut before clotheslining him in the corner.

The pace is still REALLY slow again because Heaven forbid we get an exciting main event. They head to the floor again where Batista lays out Flair as the referee disarms HHH with a chair. The referee goes down so here’s Flair for interference. HHH gets in a belt shot for two and the fans FINALLY wake up a bit. The spinebuster puts HHH down but the momentum is broken up AGAIN with a low blow. The Pedigree is blocked though and it’s something that we would call White Noise and Batista Bomb to give Batista the title.

Rating: C-. Oh dear. This wasn’t about Batista winning the title but rather about HHH losing it. Instead of looking dominant, Batista looked like a guy who survived against HHH, which is one of the last things you want to do to make a new star. Just WAY too much HHH on offense here and it brought the match way down, especially for a match that was supposed to be Batista’s coming out party.

Batista celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. There’s some really lame stuff here but the historical significance of the main events more than make up for their lackluster in ring material. The MITB match and Angle vs. Shawn are more than worth seeing and Orton vs. Undertaker isn’t bad. Most of the matches here fall under not bad and the show is a letdown as a result. Still though, it’s good stuff, but it could have been legendary.

Ratings Comparison

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Edge vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Benoit vs. Christian vs. Kane

Original: A

Redo: B+

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Trish Stratus vs. Christy Hemme

Original: F+

Redo: F

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Akebono vs. Big Show

Original: F

Redo: N/A

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena

Original: D

Redo: D

HHH vs. Batista

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Just about everything was a step lower this time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/29/history-of-wrestlemania-wrestlemania-21-best-ad-campaign-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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I’m such a showoff. Tonight is Dolph Ziggler.

Ziggler originally wrestled in OVW under his real name of Nick Nemeth. I’m not sure when the following match is from but it’s part of a TV Title tournament, which I believe took place in May of 2005.

TV Title Tournament First Round: Paul Burchill vs. Nick Nemeth

I think this is Burchill’s debut and both guys seem to be faces. Nick takes over early with some fast armdrags followed by a top wristlock. Burchill heads to the ropes but Nick kicks the ropes in a heelish move. Paul makes Nick chase him and gets in a kick to the face as they get back inside for a few two counts.

A hard uppercut drops Nemeth and a monkey flip gets two more. They trade rollups for two each until Burchill takes over with a slam. Nemeth avoids a moonsault and hits a running tornado DDT but Paul gets a foot on the ropes. Burchill tries to bail a few times in a row before rolling through a cross body and grabbing the tights to advance.

Rating: D+. Nemeth was a rookie at this point and still not very good but he was trying. Burchill was almost all look though and the match didn’t work very well as a result. It wasn’t exactly bad though and you have to give OVW a breather with it being a developmental territory and not the big leagues.

About a year later, Nemeth would join Johnny Jeter, Nick Mitchell, Ken Doane and Mike Mondo in the WWE as the Spirit Squad, a group of male cheerleaders. They would immediately be thrown into the McMahons’ feud with DX, leading to a 5-2 handicap match at Vengeance 2006.

Spirit Squad vs. DX

Oh and for their big return, DX comes out first of course. This whole show is making my skull ache. So there is NO DRAMA here at all, even though the SS are the tag champions. This show needs to end, and they saved the worst for last. No one buys this as a legit challenge and they shouldn’t. It’s one fall, and the current OVW Champion is on the heel team.

Also Ross points out that the Squad has never beaten DX. That’s just brilliant: point out that this has been one sided. The Squad has air horns and matching outfits and all that jazz. Shawn and Mitch start us off. If my memory is right, he’s the least talented one. Let that sink in for a bit. Shawn gets ganged up on in the corner and beats all five of them up. Give me a break. HHH finally comes in since Shawn hasn’t broken a sweat yet.

This is pointless and I know this match has just gotten started. Johnny gets his nose busted up and comes in. He, I kid you not, pulls out a bandana with a Japanese sun and Japanese characters on it and pretends he’s the Karate Kid. A comedy match is ending the PPV. Shoot me. Please. HHH hits the Flair knee drop to further mess up his nose. Johnny is talented too but he was just too small to be worth much. And now he gets pantsed.

A quadruple team gets HHH so close to trouble that he can see it with a telescope. And he’s fine in like 8 seconds and tags Shawn to no pop at all. Shawn does his usual stuff and hits the elbow. Mikey hits what we would call Trouble in Paradise and actually gets a cover! Kenny gets a chair shot that comes maybe a foot away from Shawn’s head but whatever. Mitch gets a running start and jumps on a trampoline to get from the floor over the top rope for a bulldog.

I hate this match. I truly do. Shawn’s beating gets about as much heat as Antarctica so HHH comes in and beats them up. Mikey messes up on the trampoline so four of them are down. Kenny, for lack of the better term the leader, takes the Pedigree to end it. Mitch gets his face shoved into HHH’s back to end it with a Vince staredown.

Rating: F. The main event of a PPV had a guy being pantsed, air horns and trampolines. Do I need to make fun of this? There was NO drama at all here and it was more or less one sided the whole way. Horrible match so of course it got 18 minutes. At the end of the day, the Squad just wasn’t ready for this spot.

After the feud ended, Nemeth and the rest of the squad would literally be put in a trunk and shipped back to OVW. Nemeth would head to Florida Championship Wrestling and change his first name to Nic while calling himself the Natural. Here’s an FCW match from I believe October 2008 on FCW’s debut episode.

Nic Nemeth vs. Greg Jackson

Nemeth is Dolph Ziggler and he’s a natural. My cousin is named Greg Jackson but I have no idea who this guy is. I’d bet on a squash here. Jackson has a good armdrag if nothing else. AHA! Jackson is more commonly known as Trent Barretta. I knew I had seen him before. Good to see that the second biggest team on Smackdown has one guy that’s unrecognizable.

Sweet dropkick to take out Jackson on a springboard clothesline. Nemeth has half black hair here which is a weird look for him. Jackson makes a short comeback but a jumping Downward Spiral ends Jackson and completes this glorified squash.

Rating: D+. Again not much here but they were kind of flying through this since it was only a squash. The match never really went anywhere but for a glorified squash what can you really ask for? At least the right guy won as Ziggler is by far and away the better talent of the two.

Nemeth would make it back to Raw later in the year and change his name to Dolph Ziggler. His gimmick was that he liked to introduce himself to everyone which didn’t work all that well. Unfortunately he would be suspended 30 days for a Wellness violation before his first match. He would however make his in ring debut against Batista on December 1, 2008.

Batista vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler introduces himself again and offers a handshake to Batista. Batista isn’t interested so Dolph slaps him in the face and makes Batista chase him. Ziggler scores with a quick dropkick to the head before hammering away outside, only to be rammed back first into the apron. Back in and Dolph counters a backdrop into a neckbreaker for a shockingly close two. Some elbow drops have Batista down but he shoves Ziggler away. The spear misses though and Dolph hammers away before dropkicking Batista’s knee. He dives into the spinebuster though and the Batista Bomb is good for the pin. Very impressive debut though.

Ziggler would tread water for the next several months but would get an Intercontinental Title shot at Hell in a Cell 2009.

Intercontinental Title: John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler

WOW this feud seems like it was years ago when it was like 4 months. Morrison comes out first which is really weird when you think about it. Ziggler’s music is awesome if nothing else. That shinny thing that Dolph does to get out of his vest is nice. This is the day after Morrison turned thirty in case you were interested for some odd stalker based reason. What in the heck is up with Dolph’s hair? And why hasn’t Word heard of the word Dolph?

Didn’t it ever see Rocky IV? It amazes me how Morrison showed so much promise and Miz is flat out better than he is at the moment. They’re using a more mat based thing here which is odd but it’s not terrible I suppose. Just as I say that Morrison goes to the air and misses Starship Pain.

Ziggler is good at being the obnoxious heel but he needs a different name if he’s ever going to be taken seriously. But hey, it’s “realistic” right? Love that corner splash he does too. He’s a lot better technically than I would have guessed him to be. Morrison starts his comeback and the crowd is really hot tonight which makes this a better show as it does in all cases.

That standing Shooting Star Press is either overrated or awesome and I’m not sure which. They’re hitting some sweet near falls here. Ziggler uses a jawbreaker of some kind but it came off looking really weird. Morrison sells the neck work that Ziggler did. That’s a great sign as so few people do it.

I’m liking this match a good deal indeed. The near falls are getting better and better. Starship Pain is countered again which is good as Ziggler was laying there forever and it would have sucked if it hit. Crowd chants THIS IS AWESOME and they’re right. Morrison counters the ZigZag and hits a much faster Starship Pain to get the pin. Sweet match.

Rating: B+. Probably too high but this was a very fun match. The near falls were great and at times they had me believing Morrison wasn’t a lock to win which is the best thing a match can do: get you to believe something you know it’s true and that’s what they did here. This was very fun though as it was given the time to flesh itself out as it had over 15 minutes to work with. The IC Title hunt was just awesome at this time and this was no exception.

Over the years, one of Dolph’s most prolific rivals was Kofi Kingston. I believe they’ve fought nearly 30 times on television and PPV alone which is far more than anyone else. It would be wrong to not include one of their matches so here’s an earlier one from July 30, 2010 on Smackdown.

Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

We see a quick recap of Vickie costing Kofi the win last week. I still can’t stand her. This is non-title and if Dolph wins he gets a title shot next week. Ziggler dominates for the most part here, injuring Kofi’s ribs early on. He even busts out a reverse slam which is a cool move. The problem here is that he’ll likely wind up by going with the sleeper to end it which has nothing to do with the ribs.

We get a Tom Arnold and Roseanne reference just to make this either awesome or awful. Answer as to which of those it is coming later. After a LONG beatdown, Kofi starts making his comeback. This has been quite good actually. Ziggler hits a Fameasser (Striker says it made Kofi famous) for two. This is a prime example of why he doesn’t need Vickie: he’s having a very solid match with one of the most well rounded guys on the roster. Why does he need Vickie?

She slaps Kofi and he gets all ticked off and beats the tar out of Dolph. He goes so insane that it’s enough for a DQ. Dolph is thrown onto the announce table and this is a beating. Referees finally pull him off and Ziggler is declared the winner. Solid match here and a great post match thing.

Rating: B-. Another good match here with neither guy being able to beat the other definitively. I like seeing Kofi show emotion like this as he doesn’t do it enough. He just snapped and couldn’t take it anymore which worked well for him. I liked this as Smackdown continues this whole wrestling thing and it’s working. What an idea.

Ziggler would win the Intercontinental Title a week later and hold it for several months. Here’s a title defense from TLC 2010 in a triple threat ladder match.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Dolph Ziggler

That’s what I figured would be the opener. Nothing like a hot opener to be, you know, the opener. King says that Vickie isn’t as cute as Bill Dundee in another line that most people won’t get at all. Weird kind of three way brawl to start and we get a LOUD Kofi chant. Ziggler to the floor and Cole and Lawler start chatting about ladder matches which should be interesting.

First ladder brought in by the champion but both challengers shove him off as the champion touches the belt. Sweet dropkick by Kofi takes down Swags. In a smart spot Kofi shoves the ladder down onto Swaggers’ hands/arms as he’s using the ropes to get up. Another ladder in now, also by Ziggles. Swagger has to get his arm looked at as Kofi lands back first on a ladder.

Slingshot from the mat into the ladder draped over the middle rope. It may help if I say Swagger launched Ziggler into it. This is going WAY too fast to call play by play and such. Ziggler hits a Fameasser onto Kofi onto a ladder onto Swagger. Everyone is out so Vickie comes in. Lawler: who does she think she is, Michael Cole? She tries to go up for no adequately explored reason so Kofi starts to tip over the ladder until the heels make the save.

Everyone on the floor now as the fans are WAY behind Kofi still. He goes up the ladder but Swagger grabs the ankle lock. Ziggler climbs up their backs and nearly pulls it off. Ziggler vs. Kofi on top as Jack is down on the floor. Big BOMBS being thrown here. Dolph manages to get the freaking Sleeper on top of the ladder! He fights out and gets a big shot to put Dolph down a bit.

TEST OF STRENGTH on top of the ladder but Kofi shoves Dolph off. Swagger goes up now as this is awesome stuff with incredible balance. Both guys pull down the title….and Ziggler grabs it off the mat to retain. The fans boo the heck out of it but Striker points out you have to have possession of it which while a stretch does actually make logical sense. If nothing else we got to hear Lawler say “he’s clutching it to his bosom.”

Rating: B. This was more of an intellectual ladder match which is something you don’t see. They brought out some leverage and thinking spots which work far better than the usual high spots which we’ll get later on with Morrison. This was much better than I was expecting and sets a very good pace for the show.

He would soon hook up with Vickie Guerrero, who would start helping him chase Edge’s World Heavyweight Championship. Vickie banned the spear to mess with Edge leading into his title defense against Dolph at February 11, 2011’s Smackdown.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Dolph Ziggler

 

Vickie is referee here.  Big match intros are interrupted by Vickie who does them instead.  The spear is still banned.  Dolph grabs a rollup almost immediately for two.  Naturally, Vickie counts fast for Dolph but Cole says that might be the way she counts both ways.  Edge hammers away in the corner and Vickie breaks it up.  Naturally Dolph does the same thing and Vickie stands around.

Sleeper can’t go all the way on and Edge reverses to get us back to even.  Nice dropkick by Ziggler puts Edge right back down though.  Edge keeps fighting back but hasn’t covered yet so we’re not sure about her speed on his covers.  Ziggler gets that Downward Spiral Stunner but can’t get the Zig Zag.  Edgecution hits so Vickie puts Dolph’s foot on the rope.

Fameasser gets two.  Edge gets a forearm to take down Ziggler.  Cole is getting annoying here as he keeps ranting about how great this is and all that jazz.  Vickie channels her inner Edge and spears her ex-husband.  She actually bounces off Edge and falls to the mat.  Her ankle might be hurt so the doctor takes her out.

With Vickie gone there’s the spear!  No referee though so Edge spears him again.  The problem is that Vickie is right there and sees it.  With no referee still, Clay Matthews, a huge linebacker for the Super Bowl champion Packers, comes out in a referee shirt and counts the pin.  Somehow this counts and Edge wins at approximately 8:45.  Uh….ok?  Vickie waves it off as the show ends and Cole says there’s a new world champion.  Odd but cool ending.

Rating: C. This was just there to set up the ending, but I really hope they follow up on this.  There’s no reason why that fall should stand but at the moment at least it does.  Odd indeed but having Matthews there was a cool thing to do.  It doesn’t make any sense at all, but again it was cool, which was the point.

For once a boss watched the tape as Vickie saw the spear and awarded Dolph the title, which he would lose the following week in about four minutes. Ziggler would head to Raw in the spring and spend most of the year in the midcard title hunt. He would eventually take the US Title from Kofi Kingston and start a feud with Zack Ryder after Ryder petitioned for a title shot on his internet show. Here’s the title match from TLC 2011.

US Title: Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler

Battle of the Z’s here. Ziggler has on blue trunks and they’re really not working for him. Ryder controls early on and is pretty fired up here. The champ gets control quickly though, hitting a DDT onto the apron. Ziggler drops a bunch (as in like ten) elbows on Ryder but they only get two. Off to a chinlock and the fans chant “Let’s go Ryder, Woo Woo Woo”. Ziggler uses Ryder’s body to brace himself for situps.

And now let’s start talking about Twitter. Ryder fights back but gets caught in an Angle Slam for two. Ryder comes back and hits a missile dropkick from the middle rope for two. Here’s his comeback and the Broski Boot hits. Vickie puts Ziggler’s foot on the ropes and gets ejected for it. They trade rollups and Ziggler tries two Fameassers, one of which hits. Dropkick gets two for Dolph. He goes up and gets crotched, allowing Ryder to bust out a top rope rana for two. I love how his arms fly up in the air on every cover.

Rough Ryder is countered into a hot shot into the post for two. The fans are still cheering for Ryder as they were earlier. Out of nowhere, Ryder hits the Rough Ryder and WINS THE TITLE at 10:25. The camera immediately cuts to Ryder’s dad in the crowd which is a really nice touch. They treated this like a really big moment, which it was.

Rating: B-. Why it didn’t happen in MSG is beyond me but whatever. This is the definition of a guy working as hard as he could have, the fans responding to it, and the company PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT THE PEOPLE WANTED. I can’t emphasize that enough: the WWE listened to what the fans were telling them and pushed him accordingly. Pretty decent match too.

Dolph would soon form a tag team with Jack Swagger and get a Tag Team Title match against R-Truth and, of course, Kofi Kingston at Over the Limit 2012.

Tag Titles: Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth/Kofi Kingston

Kofi and Swagger get us going. Jack takes it to the mat but opts for a standing top wristlock instead. Not much happens so it’s off to Truth for a double hiptoss. Spinning legdrop gets two. Ziggler comes in but Kofi gets a blind tag and a springboard missile dropkick for two. Swagger gets in a shot from the apron and a tag to take over. He works on the arm some more and it’s off to Truth who speeds things up.

Vickie distracts the referee which results in Dolph getting his head kicked off. Swagger puts Truth down and hits the Vader Bomb for two. Ziggler comes back in with a Crossface of all things as King is talking about Vickie’s navel. Cole: “If you two were as good at commentating as you were at looking at Vickie you’d be in the Hall of Fame.” King: “I already am.” That was funny for some reason.

Swagger takes Truth down but Truth comes back with a flurry of punches. They don’t get him anywhere as Ziggler comes in for a double team, getting two. Dolph does the handstands on the chinlock which is impressive. Back to Jack who takes Truth into the corner but gets caught by a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Double tag brings in Kofi and Dolph and an SOS gets two. Springboard cross body gets two as Jack makes the save. As Kofi is coming back in he gets caught by a Fameasser for two. Truth dives onto Swagger and Dolph jumps with a Stinger Splash, right into Trouble in Paradise to retain at 12:28.

Rating: B. That’s probably high but I was enjoying this match. Kofi and Dolph have some awesome chemistry together and it worked very well here. They’re clearly building to a big rematch with the Colons, if you can call that big of course. Pretty good match here and I was really liking it by the end.

Up next was Money in the Bank with Dolph in the World Heavyweight Championship ladder match.

Smackdown World Title Money In The Bank: Christian vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Tensai vs. Santino Marella vs. Tyson Kidd vs. Damien Sandow vs. Sin Cara

The ring nearly clears out to start and it’s Tensai in control. He cleans house and heads out to get the first ladder. Kidd is down in the corner so Tensai slingshots him into a ladder draped over the middle rope. Tensai goes after Christian so Christian and Kidd team up to squash him with some ladders. Christian decks Kidd and goes up but here’s Santino for the save. Kidd goes up as well but Sandow shoves all three over.

Cody and Ziggler come in now and Ziggler gets rammed into the ladder face first. Ziggler will have none of that and sends Cody into the ladder as well. If this was a year ago that would have gotten a much better reaction. It’s Cara’s turn to go crazy now and he snaps off a bunch of ranas. After the one to Cody, Rhodes is holding his knee. Cara goes up after Ziggler and they badly botch something with both guys falling to the mat.

Kidd vs. Cara now and Kidd gets sunset flipped down for a cover because Cara is confused. Cara slams him onto a ladder but Christian takes him down. Captain Charisma tries a frog splash but it only hits ladder. Cody pops up but gets taken down by a springboard dropkick from Kidd. With everyone down, Santino goes up but Tensai grabs him for a powerbomb. That doesn’t actually happen as Tensai falls backwards and Santino almost lands on the ladder. The botches are mounting up quickly.

Kidd sends Tensai to the floor and hits a dive to take out the Big Bald. Sandow goes up but Cara makes a save. That gets him nowhere as Cara is knocked down again and it’s Sandow going up again. Christian makes the save and gets his hand on the case, but Sandow takes him down again. Christian counters being rammed into the ladder in the corner and hits the reverse DDT to take Sandow down. He charges into a knee from Sandow, but hits the spear a few seconds later, sending Sandow into the ladder.

Christian goes up but Ziggler and Cody slams him into the ladder to make the save. They both go up and Ziggler gets rammed face first into the ladder. Tensai pulls Cody down and locks him in the Tree of Woe, only to have Kidd make the save. The Canadian is sent down and it’s Cara/Santino for the save. They get knocked down too so here’s Christian with some ladder shots to put Tensai back on the mat.

Ziggler sends Christian to the floor and it’s time for Santino to go insane. He hits his usual stuff on Ziggler and loads up the Cobra to take out Ziggler. Santino goes up but gets scared of heights. The Cobra makes him climb and takes out Sandow, but Cody dropkicks Santino, sending both him and the ladder down. Cody (whose leg appears to be fine now) throws a ladder at Santino and sets up another one in the middle of the ring.

Cody goes up and Vickie climbs the ladder to stop him. Ziggler makes a fast climb and hits the Zig Zag off the ladder to pull Cody down. Christian makes the last minute save and Sandow climbs another ladder. All three are up there so Kidd springboards in and takes Ziggler down in an awesome spot. Christian slams a ladder into Sandow’s face and they both go to the floor.

Tensai comes back and goes insane, setting up a ladder between the announce table and the ring. Cara gets powerbombed onto it ala last year, followed by Ziggler getting launched over the announce table in a cool looking power display by Tensai. Cody pops up from the middle of nowhere and hits a pair of Disaster Kicks to put Tensai down.

Kidd and Rhodes go up the ladder but Christian climbs another ladder. Cody drops Kidd but Christian spears Cody off the ladder. Christian and Santino go up but Marella is knocked down. Ziggler runs up from out of nowhere, sends Christian into another ladder and pulls down the case for the win at 18:23.

Rating: B-. There was only so much they could do here with eight people and that’s what really brought things down here. With eight people, there aren’t enough spots to go around and it catches up to them every year. Sandow wasn’t needed here and I don’t think Cara was either. Neither guy really did much in the match but they didn’t bring it down either. The botches hurt it too, making this a pretty good match but more of a mess than anything else.

Ziggler would hold the case for a good while still having Vickie around. Eventually AJ Lee would get dragged into things as Ziggler called out John Cena. This set up a ladder match at TLC 2012 for the briefcase.

Dolph Ziggler vs. John Cena

Ladder match for the case here. Cena runs him over with a shoulder to start and they stare at each other for a bit. The fans are almost universally behind Dolph here. Cena takes him down with a headlock, probably for the first time in the history of ladder matches. He works on Dolph’s arm and hits a fisherman’s suplex. There’s a monkey flip out of the corner and Ziggler is sent to the floor.

Ziggler gets a chair to take Cena down and wedges it between the top and middle rope. We get the first ladder brought in but Cena rams it into Dolph’s face. Cena might be cut over the eye. The dueling Cena chants begin as he crushes Ziggler’s head with the steps. It’s table time but Dolph knocks Cena down and goes for a climb. They slug it out and it’s boo/yay time. Dolph hooks the sleeper and Cena turns red, but he climbs the ladder anyway with Ziggler on his back.

This of course goes badly and they crash backwards through a table in the ring. In a very cool spot, Ziggler goes up the ladder, so Cena PICKS UP THE LADDER FOR THE AA. Ziggler escapes what would have likely resulted in death and hits the Fameasser to put both guys down. Cena puts on a quick STF but Ziggler escapes the AA and hits the Zig Zag. Ziggler seems to be a big ginger on his leg as he gets another table.

The table is placed in the corner but Cena hits four of the five moves of doom. Dolph counters the AA and hits the jumping DDT to put Cena down again. Ziggler goes for the big ladder but Cena stops him at the top. They slug it out up there with Cena shoving Ziggler off. There’s no one to stop Cena….except himself as Cena does the stupid VERY slow climb, allowing Ziggler to take him down. Ziggler rams the bad eye into the ladder but Cena BUSTS OUT A FREAKING HURRICANRANA to send Ziggy through the table in the corner.

John pounds Ziggler into the corner and puts him on the top rope. Ziggler shoves him away and tries a top rope cross body, but Cena rolls through into the AA. That gets countered too and a chair shot puts Cena down. Ziggler misses a kick and there’s an AA. There’s nothing in the ring at the moment though so here’s Vickie with a chair. Cue AJ to take Guerrero down with the Five Moves of Doom. Well close enough I guess. Cena climbs the ladder and AJ shoves it down, turning heel. Ziggler has no idea what’s going on but AJ goes all happy psycho again. Ziggler retains the case at 23:38.

Rating: B+. I’d like this a lot more if it wasn’t about AJ. At the end of the day, I get that she’s nuts but she’s gotten WAY too much focus and it means this story must continue. I get what they’re going for here, but man alive they’ve run this story into the ground for so long that I don’t care anymore. The match was very good though as the ladders were props in the match, which is what makes the best ladder matches.

Dolph would cash in on Raw on April 8, 2013, just after champion Alberto Del Rio had fought Jack Swagger.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

The place goes NUTS for Ziggler as he stomps away on the leg and head of Alberto. The Fameasser hits for two but Ziggler misses a splash in the corner. The enziguri in the corner hits for a VERY close two and there’s the armbreaker. Ziggler cranks on the bad knee to break the hold and the Zig Zag gives us a new champion at 2:15.

Unfortunately Dolph would get a concussion soon after this and not be able to defend the title for two months, losing it in his first defense at Payback. The rest of the year would be spent in a face turn and downward trend for Ziggler, but he would start picking up at the end of the year, including this match from November 18, 2013 on Raw.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow

There are a bunch of musical instruments in the ring, mainly string stuff. Sandow throws him to the floor but misses a shot with an electric guitar. Ziggler dives off the steps to take him down as the announcers reference musical acts from the 70s and earlier. Back in and Damien pounds away before getting caught by a nice dropkick to send him back outside. Ziggler goes up top but dives into a shot from an organ to the ribs as we take a break.

Back with Sandow stomping away on Ziggler in the corner as Cole talks about Lawler meeting Ronnie Milsap. Ziggler comes back but misses a fiddle shot, allowing Sandow to hit him with a guitar for two. Dolph hits a DDT and breaks the fiddle over Sandow’s head before the Fameasser gets two. Sandow goes nuts again and launches Ziggler into the corner before ramming Dolph head first into a chair in the corner for a close two.

Ziggler gets thrown into the drums and hit with a guitar for two. Sandow misses a charge into the post and Ziggler rolls him up for two. A snare drum over Damien’s head and a bass drum does the same, basically tying Sandow up. Ziggler grabs the only remaining guitar, struts over, and blasts Sandow in the head for the pin at 10:17.

Rating: D. Was this supposed to be funny? That’s a genuine question. The announcers were treating it like a comedy match but apparently these two don’t like each other. I say apparently because I don’t remember them having any altercations in recent history, unless I’m forgetting some throwaway segment on Smackdown somewhere. The match was dumb as are most gimmick matches though. We’re also supposed to ignore Sandow’s shoulders being inside the drum and not on the mat.

Ziggler is an interesting case as he’s incredibly athletic but he’s been around so long that it’s hard to buy him as a main event guy all of a sudden. His time near the top was only decent at best and you can’t gauge the reaction from his title win in 2013 due to that crowd being something completely insane. He’s fine for an upper midcard guy but with one World Title there isn’t room for him on the top.

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We’re getting very close to Wrestlemania last night with only one Raw left after last night. The big story was the absence of Daniel Bryan but everything else was covered. Let’s get to it.

The opening was Stephanie being called a sl** by Batista and Big Dave spearing Orton. This worked very well as the focus shifted to Batista vs. Orton instead of just HHH vs. Bryan as we’ve seen for the last few weeks. They’re doing a great job at planting seeds of doubt about Bryan winning, which is the best thing you can do in a match that has a seemingly obvious ending.

Having Batista and Orton have their own issues also opens up a few more doors to the match. It’s going to be boring if everyone is waiting for Bryan to hit the running knee on someone to win the title, so having the others have issues helps a lot. This and the very good HHH promo later gave me a lot more hope for both matches.

The HHH interview was HHH sounding evil and letting us inside his mind heading into Wrestlemania. While it’s clear that HHH is corrupt and evil, it’s ok as long as he can justify his own actions. HHH wanting to be the champion himself because he’s the only one he can trust is where this story should have gone from the beginning and it’s the right ending now.

The fourway was really good stuff with a lot of great false finishes. I love the idea of having a #1 contenders match to earn a title shot rather than just having someone beat Big E. to set up the title match. That being said, Christian didn’t get the shot as he was injured in the match but it was a nice idea at least.

Wyatts were awesome. Nothing new here.

Scooby-Doo was just there to promote the movie and there’s nothing wrong with that. The movie is good too if you’ve got an hour and twenty minutes to kill. I’m not sure what Sandow did to tick WWE off though.

Los Matadores beat Ryback/Axel, who are still getting a title shot at Wrestlemania. Apparently Los Matadores and the Real Americans have been added to the title match as well which helps a lot.

Fandango vs. Cody happened and that’s about all I’ve got on that one.

The Hogan/Schwarzenegger segment was exactly what it needed to be. Miz getting to come out there might have been the second biggest night of his career.

Big Show beat up Titus O’Neil. Titus looked good but it doesn’t matter when Big Show just shrugs off the offense and knocked Titus out for the pin.

Cena didn’t see the sheep mask in a bathroom mirror. People were comparing this to Hogan vs. Warrior and Undertaker vs. Orton but it came off more as the Wyatts are creepy. Cena literally didn’t see it so it was the Wyatts stalking him and Cena not knowing what was going on rather than him going nuts.

Harper and Cena had the best match of Harper’s career. Luke looked GREAT out there and thankfully didn’t have to job at the end of it. Cena continues to make people look far better than anyone else can and he did it very well with Harper last night. The ending was eery with the Wyatts tying Cena to the ropes and putting the sheep mask on his face. The fact that it was in the dark made it even better as you were left to think about what those creepy guys might have been doing to Cena.

The Divas Title match was announced and apparently AJ will be defending against thirteen people. The Total Divas theme song playing to end the segment made one thing clear: this was a big commercial for the show. Even with that, I have a feeling they’re going to keep the title on AJ, perhaps for a Paige debut the next night?

Scott Hall is going into the Hall of Fame. I’m surprised they listed him as Razor Ramon instead of Scott but the fact that he’s sober enough to be inducted it wonderful.

Shield vs. Real Americans was good stuff and Rollins continues to look awesome. I already went on a rant about the Outlaws being in the six man with Kane at Wrestlemania does nothing for me so I’ll spare you from a repeat. The word on the street says that it’s so the Outlaws can work with the Shield because they want to, and Heaven forbid the Outlaws don’t get what they want. Hopefully Shield destroys them and sends the Outlaws back into retirement.

I’ve never been the biggest Outlaws fan in the world but they’re not horrible. The problem is I don’t see the benefit in having them around anymore. It was a nice nostalgia run and them winning the belts was a nice moment, but it’s been done and they lost the titles and their rematch. Why do we need to see them anymore?

Heyman/Lesnar vs. Undertaker was exactly what you would expect and there wasn’t much to complain about with it. Undertaker was creepy and Lesnar got run off again, meaning the odds are he’ll get the better of the dead guy next week as we head to Wrestlemania. The build to the match has been different than most as Brock is being treated as a huge underdog despite being the biggest threat to the Streak in years.

Raw was another solid effort last night. The company is clicking at the right now time and Wrestlemania is looking better and better every week. Bryan not being there last night was a good thing as he gets most of the attention whenever he’s on screen. It made the show feel more like a complete card and even added three matches to fill the whole thing out. It was a good show and I’m fired up for Wrestlemania.

Oh yeah and there were Punk chants.  WWE just ignored them and went on with the show, as they should have.  The strategy worked and the whiny fans got into the show multiple times.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 24, 2014
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re just two weeks from the biggest show of the year but tonight is about the guest stars. Tonight we’ve got a double shot with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Scooby-Doo, the latter of whom is here because the WWE animated movie comes out tomorrow. Other than that we get the fallout from Bryan being attacked by the boss last week and a showdown between Undertaker and Lesnar. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s closing sequence with the fake cops and Stephanie ranting about respect and HHH destroying Bryan with a chair.

Here’s Stephanie to get things going. She talks about how people on social media have been saying how what HHH did last week was disgusting. However, the Authority won’t let the YES Movement steer this ship the wrong way. The WWE needs leadership through strong people like herself. The fans LOUDLY cheer for Punk but Stephanie just goes through them until it calms down. She lists off some of HHH’s accolades but gets Randy Orton instead.

Randy respects HHH but if he beats Daniel Bryan earlier in the night (Stephanie: “You mean when he beats Daniel Bryan.”), he’ll do whatever he has to do to retain the title. The fans chant for Bryan and Stephanie acknowledges them by saying he’s not coming out. Orton sucks up to Stephanie and suggests that HHH beat the tar out of Daniel Bryan, but let that be it for the night for HHH. The New York fans think this is boring but here’s Batista to really fire them up.

Big Dave says the fans can chant and the two people in the ring can run their mouths all they want, but he’s the next WWE Champion. The mic cuts out a bit as Batista tells us to DEAL WITH IT. Things stop a bit as we fix the mic until Batista points out that HHH has never beaten him. Batista calls Orton out for sucking up to everyone lately and drooling on Stephanie. “I think she’s been drooled on before. Actually, make that a lot.” Stephanie slaps Batista for the insult and Orton is nearly keeling over in what looks to be shock or laughter. Stephanie walks out and Batista spears Orton down to LOUD booing.

Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Winner gets an Intercontinental Title shot tomorrow night on Main Event against Big E. It’s one fall to a finish and anything goes. Sheamus and Christian fight on the floor to start until we get down to Sheamus vs. Ziggler in the ring. They trade strikes for a bit until the guys switch off again. Christian dives to the floor but gets caught by Sheamus, who launches him into the barricade with a fall away slam.

Sheamus loads up the ten forearms to Ziggler but has to duck a running enziguri from Del Rio. Dolph knocks Sheamus to the floor and gets two on Del Rio but Christian pulls Ziggler outside again. Sheamus hits a Cactus Clothesline on Christian, sending both of them into the timekeeper’s area as we take a break.

Back with Ziggler and Christian in the ring as Sheamus hits the rolling fireman’s carry to Del Rio on the floor. Christian hits a high cross body on Dolph but gets rolled through for two. A loud ZIGGLER chant starts up as Christian stands on Dolph’s head for two. Ziggler gets knocked to the floor so Sheamus hits his ax handles and high knee to Christian. Alberto charges into the Irish Curse and Christian is sent to the floor. The ten forearms puts Alberto on the floor so Sheamus goes up for a dive, only to be taken down by a top rope X Factor for two from Ziggler.

The running DDT gets two on Del Rio but Christian snaps the back of Dolph’s neck across the top rope. The fans think this is awesome as Christian counters a Fameasser into a powerbomb for two. Del Rio breaks up the pin with a superkick but Sheamus breaks upt he pin. There’s the Cloverleaf on Del Rio but Sheamus breaks it up to powerslam Christian. Del Rio breaks up the Brogue Kick and puts Sheamus in the cross armbreaker. Sheamus powers of put it and lifts Alberto up but Ziggler takes them both down with a Zig Zag. Christian comes back in with the Killswitch to Dolph for the pin out of nowhere at 12:00.

Rating: B. I had a great time with this one and I was wondering who was going to win in the end. That’s the best thing you can ask for in a match most of the time and it worked very well here. Christian vs. Big E. is fine for a one off match and the other guys looked great as well.

Christian won’t shake Big E.’s hand after the match.

The Wyatts pop up on screen and Bray talks about fans being interested in things they can’t see. But they can see Cena everywhere because he’s on billboards and t-shirts. Bray is someone you can’t see because he is the key to the city of woe. He’s everywhere but you can only feel him. Harper says they’re coming to fight Cena. Run.

We get a clip of the Scooby-Doo movie and here’s the Mystery Machine in the arena. Sin Cara (the second biggest wrestler in the movie. If it was based on the active roster, he would be the Daniel Bryan to John Cena) pops out and here’s Scooby to go with him. It’s a guy in a costume if that wasn’t clear.

Sin Cara vs. Damien Sandow

The lighting is back. Sin avoids a charge in the corner and hits a springboard cross body and the Tajiri Elbow, followed by the Swanton for the pin at 1:07.

We look at Kane and the Outlaws beating down the Shield on Friday.

Los Matadores vs. Curtis Axel/Ryback

Ryback and Axel are officially out of the battle royal and will be getting a Tag Team Title match at Wrestlemania. Curtis starts with Fernando but the Shield comes to the barricade for a distraction, allowing Fernando to get the pin at 1:05.

Shield destroys Ryback and Axel post match with the spear and Triple Bomb laying Ryback out.

Cole brings out HHH for a sitdown interview. We look at the attack from last week and Cole asks HHH to justify that. HHH wants to know if he wants an answer as the COO or a competitor. He goes on a short rant about taking advantage of an upcoming opponent before shifting towards Occupy Raw. Bryan and the fans tried to hijack Raw and the people were put in danger. HHH asks Cole why he chalked that up to a memorable moment but what HHH did was despicable.

What happened to this world since HHH stopped competing full time? He did horrible things to people and looked into their eyes, seeing the same lust for success that he had. People would fight the system but now he sees soft and pathetic people in the crowd. He sees a bunch of powerless people with no desire who cry when they don’t get what they want. If they’re mad, Tweet him about it. HHH is sick of the whole thing because the world has changed and he doesn’t like it.

Maybe it’s on him to decide where everything goes. This is the beginning of the Reality Era and the reality is this: at Wrestlemania, he ends Daniel Bryan’s little run at the top and ends the YES Movement along with it. The reality is at Wrestlemania he’ll beat Daniel Bryan and enter a triple threat match where he’ll take the WWE Title for himself instead of living off past glory. Really solid stuff from the Game here.

Fandango vs. Cody Rhodes

Goldust has a mask over his face paint now. Fandango takes over to start and a slingshot legdrop gets two. A snap suplex gets the same and Fandango cranks on the arm a bit. Cody comes back with a springboard dropkick but Summer and Goldust have a dance off. Summer hurts her ankle and Cody hits a quick Disaster Kick for the pin at 2:48.

Clip from the new Schwarzenegger movie Sabotage.

Here’s Hogan with something to say but we have to wait for the big nostalgia chant. He doesn’t want to be nostalgic but Wrestlemania is two weeks away. We might be in a different part of the city, but thirty years ago he and Mr. T. made history in New York. Hogan stops to point at the sign and says he’s real psyched up for Wrestlemania. He’s also excited about tonight’s guest starts: Joe Maganeillo and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Joe is taller than Hogan so Arnold looks tiny out there. The fans love Arnold and give him a big ovation. A year ago Arnold got to induct Bruno Sammartino into the Hall of Fame with another great hero like Hulk Hogan. Arnold raves about Hogan’s physique and asks the fans to cheer Joe. Maganeillo talks about how pumped he is to be in the ring with two icons like Hulk and Arnold. Arnold brings up the battle royal and talks about hanging out with Andre on a movie set. He asks if Hogan has room for two more athletes in the battle royal but here’s Miz to interrupt.

Miz says he’ll be going to see Sabotage, just like Arnold and Joe went to see his movies. He guarantees to win the battle royal but Hogan says he’s in the wrong place. Joe says if Miz wants the three of them gone to get rid of them himself. All three guys get in a shot and Hogan throws Miz over the top.

Big Show vs. Titus O’Neill

Titus kicks Big Show into the corner and stomps away to send Big Show to the mat. A legdrop gets two and a splash in the corner has Big Show in trouble again. The fans chant for Punk again as Titus drops Big Show with a flying shoulder for two. Big Show shrugs it off, spears Titus down and hits the WMD for the pin at 2:24.

Shield comes in to see the Authority and wants to know where the three of them stand in this whole thing. HHH says the business between Kane, the Outlaws and the Shield is between the six of them. Stephanie makes Shield vs. Real Americans for later and they can discuss things afterwards. Reigns gives HHH a bit of a look.

John Cena is in the bathroom and running water over his face.  The sheep mask can be seen in the mirror.

John Cena vs. Luke Harper

Luke takes Cena into the corner to start and the fans are all over John here. Cena fights back but walks into a backbreaker for two. A loud LET’S GO HARPER chant starts up as Cena comes back with right hands in the corner. Something resembling a Stinger Splash crushes Harper in the corner but he walks into a pumphandle throw for two. Cena is thrown to the floor and Bray crouches in front of him but Harper comes out with a forearm to the back. We get a Fruity Pebbles chant as Harper hammers away even more.

Back with Cena fighting out of a chinlock but walking into a suplex to put him down again. The AA is countered and Harper gets two off a boot to the face. Cena counters the discus lariat into the ProtoBomb but Harper pops up and hits a Michinoku Driver for two. Luke tries a powerbomb but gets countered into what was supposed to be a hurricanrana. The STF is kicked away to send Cena to the floor and Harper hits a great looking suicide dive. Cena’s head bounced off the barricade and Bray came out of his chair.

 

Back in and Cena grabs the STF but Harper pokes him in the eye. A DDT gets two on John and Harper puts him on the top rope. Cena powers out of a butterfly superplex attempt and hits the top rope Fameasser for two. A second ProtoBomb and the Shuffle connect but Harper escapes the AA and picks him up for a belly to back suplex, only to slam Cena face first into the mat.

 

Cena EXPLODES out of the corner with a clothesline but the lights go out as he loads up the AA. You can hear something in the ring and as the lights come back on, Cena is tied in the ropes with the sheep mask on. The Wyatts surround an unconscious Cena as the match is thrown out at about 14:00.­

Rating: B. I was digging this match and I really liked the ending. Harper looked better tonight than he ever has before which gives me hope for his future. The ending with Cena being tied up and us not seeing what happened to him is creepy as there’s something terrifying about having to imagine what those three monsters did to him.

Divas Title: Naomi vs. AJ Lee

AJ is defending. Naomi quickly sends her to the floor but AJ says she doesn’t need this. She skips out and it’s a countout at 1:12.

Post match here’s Vickie Guerrero who AJ insulted on Smackdown. Vickie didn’t care for what AJ said on Smackdown, so at Wrestlemania it will be the Vickie Guerrero Divas Championship Special. AJ will defend against the Funkadactyls, the Bella Twins, Natalya, Eva Marie, Emma, Aksana, Alicia Fox, Summer Rae, Rosa Mendes, Layla and Tamina.

Scott Hall is announced for the Hall of Fame.

We look at the opening segment again. Orton vs. Batista one on one next week.

Real Americans vs. Shield

It’s Rollins and Ambrose meeting the Americans in the aisle to start the big brawl. The fans chant WE THE PEOPLE as Ambrose throws Cesaro inside for the opening bell. Dean stomps him down in the corner and we get a Hart Attack with Rollins hitting a neckbreaker instead of a clothesline. Off to Swagger but Seth meets him with right hands and Three Amigos with Ambrose helping out on the third.

Shield takes their turns on Swagger until he drives Dean into the corner for the tag to Cesaro. The WE THE PEOPLE chants continue as Cesaro takes over and puts Dean in a chinlock. Back to Swagger for the Vader Bomb but Ambrose gets his feet up. A middle rope back elbow drops Swagger but Cesaro knocks Seth off the apron. Cesaro counters a backdrop into the Swing but Seth breaks up the cover. Ambrose is sent outside and the Americans swing him by his arms and legs into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Cesaro putting Dean in a front facelock but making the mistake of slapping him. Dean says bring it so Cesaro kicks him in the chest. Dean pops back up and clotheslines Cesaro down, finally allowing the hot tag to Seth. Rollins cleans house and hits the running forearm in the corner to set up a Downward Spiral into the middle buckle. Cesaro gets LAUNCHED over the top to the floor and Swagger gets clotheslined as well.

A suicide dive puts Cesaro into the crowd and Seth runs back in for a BIG flip dive to take Jack down as well. Back in and a top rope knee to the head drops Swagger but Cesaro makes the save. Ambrose runs in but gets backdropped to the floor. Rollins clotheslines Cesaro outside but gets caught in the Patriot Lock. He makes the rope and lands on his feet, setting up an enziguri and the Black Out (now called Peace of Mind) for the pin at 14:00.

Rating: B-. Seth Rollins is perfect for what he’s doing at the moment and Ambrose continues to look awesome. Face Shield is totally working for me as they’ve transitioned perfectly in about a week. That’s a sign of incredible talent and another reason why Shield is the best act in a long time.

Post match Reigns hits the Superman Punch and spear on Cesaro, setting up the Triple Bomb through the table. Shield poses but Kane and the Outlaws (all in suits) come to the stage. Kane announces the six man tag at Wrestlemania. The Outlaws just do not work for me in this role at all. Shield just tore the house down with two very talented guys. I’m not buying into seeing the Outlaws do their little shortcuts and the same jokes we’ve heard on a million reunion shows.

It just doesn’t work for me and the minute I saw them come out on Smackdown I lost most of my interest in this story. What does Shield get out of this feud? A rub from a former World Champion? They’ve gotten that from far bigger stars than Kane. A match against former Tag Team Champions? They’ve destroyed every team they’ve fought and had a better match at Elimination Chamber than the Outlaws could ever dream of. This is a BIG step down for Shield and it doesn’t interest me in the slightest.

Here are Heyman and Lesnar to close the show. Paul talks about how the Streak is the most impressive thing in WWE history, which is why Brock (sporting an Eat, Sleep, Break the Streak shirt) is going to end it. That doesn’t take away from the 21 victories that Undertaker has and his legacy will still be great. John Cena couldn’t go 21-0, Andre the Giant couldn’t go 21-0 and even Brock Lesnar will never be able to be 21-0 at Wrestlemania.

Paul goes on about how important Wrestlemania is but Brock takes the mic. He says he’s here to fight and since he and Undertaker are both here, let’s do it right now. There’s no gong but we’ve got druids. They bring a casket to ringside as the chanting plays through the arena. The druids stand in the aisle and Brock is starting to look a bit nervous as he stares at the casket. Brock kicks at the lid as the chanting continues. He finally opens it but the casket is empty. Heyman isn’t pleased as Brock asks if this is some kind of joke.

Brock goes to yell at the druids who start to walk away. He slowly stalks them but they get most of the way up the ramp. Brock walks back to the ring and closes the casket, drawing an Undertaker chant. Lesnar says he’s not here to play games and Paul starts to talk, but Brock says he’s leaving.

Heyman stops him because that’s what Undertaker wants. Paul rants about Undertaker being a coward and says all Undertaker can do is an empty casket, so of course the casket opens up to reveal Undertaker. He sits up and Paul PANICS. The lights come on and Brock looks scared but doesn’t bail. The fight is on with Undertaker hammering away and clotheslining Brock onto the casket. Paul says it’s not worth it and begs Lesnar to leave. Lesnar points to the sign as Undertaker does the throat slit to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. The Wrestlemania build continues to rock as tonight they focused on Shield, Batista, Orton and HHH. Bryan wasn’t there tonight but that’s a good thing in a way. Yeah the odds are that Bryan leaves with the title, but they’re doing a great job of planting even the slightest bit of doubt. Daniel Bryan vs. HHH is arguably the real main event, but they’re making it seem like there’s a chance that something else could happen, and that’s the right move.

Other than that we had some great build for the show with the battle royal getting a nice focus and a solid main event segment as well. We also got some of the best in ring action we’ve had on this show in months with the long matches being good and the short matches being the unintersting ones. Couple that with three new matches being announced to likely fill out the card and I was very pleased tonight. The company is clicking at the right time and that’s all that matters.

Results

Christian b. Sheamus, Alberto Del Rio and Dolph Ziggler – Killswitch to Ziggler

Sin Cara b. Damien Sandow – Swanton Bomb

Los Matadores b. Curtis Axel/Sin Cara – Rollup to Axel

Cody Rhodes b. Fandango – Disaster Kick

Big Show b. Titus O’Neil – WMD

John Cena vs. Luke Harper went to a no contest

Naomi b. AJ Lee via countout

Shield b. Real Americans – Peace of Mind to Swagger

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Last night’s show was about driving these shows into the fans’ hearts. The matches are mostly set but now we need a reason to care about what we’re watching. The show did a good job of making you feel what the wrestlers were feeling and that’s hard to do. Let’s get to it.

 

The HHH/Batista/Orton argument to start things off was as good as it was going to be. Batista being acknowledged as a movie star and the No Paparazzi shirt were signs of a character change for him and of things to come. HHH getting so frustrated with both guys that he put himself into the match makes sense and offers some drama to the Bryan vs. HHH match.

 

Yeah it’s obvious that Bryan makes the title match and gets the belt (in theory) but it’s nice to see them adding something to it. There’s nothing wrong with having an obvious ending, but adding some drama isn’t a bad idea. This is the Mike Tyson as guest referee of Wrestlemania XXX.

 

It’s also nice to see some animosity between Batista and Orton. Until now they’ve just been kind of there in the background of Daniel Bryan vs. HHH which didn’t work as there was no actual guarantee either of them would make the title match leading into last night. I’m glad they haven’t been forgotten because there’s a natural history there if they’ll just acknowledge it. Making it a three or even a fourway isn’t my favorite thing in the world but it’s the logical call this year.

 

The Real Americans beat the Usos to presumably earn a title shot. Because THERE ARE NO OTHER IDEAS IN THE HISTORY OF BOOKING OTHER THAN HAVING THE CHAMPIONS GET PINNED BY A CHALLENGER BECAUSE JUST HAVING A FREAKING #1 CONTENDERS MATCH IS TOO COMPLICATED FOR A BUNCH OF HOLLYWOOD HACKS WHO CAN’T GET A JOB OUTSIDE OF STEPHANIE MCMAHON’S OFFICE!!!

 

I wasn’t big on the booking if that wasn’t clear.

 

WWE has a new animated series called Slam City where the wrestlers all get fired and have to get real jobs. It’s an idea but can we get a Hulk’s Rock And Wrestling channel on the Network?

 

Sheamus beat Titus O’Neil in the St. Patrick’s Day thing. It’s nothing of note but it looks like Titus is going to become a jobber to the stars. Titus, Sheamus and Christian are all in the battle royal which isn’t a surprise.

 

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Scooby Doo will be guest stars next week. Yeah Arnold isn’t a big deal anymore, but I sat through Florence Henderson as the guest star of a Raw I went to. I approve of Arnold.

 

Cena and Bray Wyatt had the segment of the night. Cena admitted to being afraid of Bray because Wyatt is something he’s never faced before. Bray has accused Cena of being hollow and being afraid of what’s coming to him after his career is over. There’s a HUGE story to get into with that angle if they choose to but I have a feeling it’s not happening. When I say huge, I mean that could culminate at like Wrestlemania 35.

 

Bray continues to be one of the best promo men in the business as I totally bought everything that he’s saying. However, there was one thing during his promo that was incredibly interesting: a John Cena chant.

 

Think about that for a minute. Bray Wyatt is talking about getting rid of John Cena and the fans LOUDLY chant for John as a result. You often hear fans booing Cena and the “Let’s Go Cena/Cena Sucks!” chants, but as soon as the idea of no more Cena comes up, it’s “CENA! CENA! CENA!” I’ve said it before and I’ll say it here again: so many fans aren’t going to realize how truly great Cena is until the day he’s gone.

 

I’ve mostly covered the Orton vs. Bryan stuff earlier, but the No DQ stipulation helped a lot here. Batista came out to help Bryan and they set up a nice shot at the end: Batista takes out Orton, Bryan steals the pin. Nice “what if” scenario for Wrestlemania.

 

Heyman’s weekly promo was nothing special but the idea of Brock being able to destroy Undertaker’s opponents far more easily than Undertaker could. The line of “Now he conquers death itself” line was excellent.

 

Goldust vs. Fandango was an interesting idea but the match wasn’t much. I did really like having a random match though, just as a breather from the rest of the show.

 

Kane vs. Shield sounds like a way to bring Ascension up as the replacements for the Shield. There isn’t much else to say than that. Lawler was just a catalyst for the story advancement.

 

Yet again a champion got pinned to set up a future match. It seems like we’re getting Nikki vs. Naomi vs. AJ vs. Tamina for the title. It’s so we can have a Total Divas season finale, but at least they didn’t rush through AJ’s title reign to get there.

 

Mr. T. goes into the Hall of Fame. No complaints from me on that one.

 

The battle royal match was nothing special and exactly what it needed to be. I’m sorry for all the short lines here but there isn’t much to say about a lot of this stuff.

 

Bray squashed Kofi and looked awesome doing it.

 

The big segment to end the show was HHH saying he respected Bryan but being sent back on Stephanie’s orders. Cops came out and handcuffed Bryan before being revealed that they weren’t really cops and it was all A RUSE. The huge beating ensued and HHH looked pure evil. That’s what this story has needed and it worked like a charm here. I’ve heard complaints that HHH beat him up too long but I didn’t get that feeling at all. I forgot to mention that Stephanie revealed she had the key all along. Why that’s supposed to be a shock doesn’t quite register to me.

 

Overall last night’s show was excellent and there’s nothing I can really add to it. It’s really hard to go on and on about a show I really liked and it’s even worse when it’s just building up to the rest of the pay per view. Great episode this week and Wrestlemania is going to rock.

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 17, 2014
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re under three weeks to Wrestlemania now and we’ve got the biggest matches down now. The main story coming into tonight will be HHH retaliating against Daniel Bryan as he promised to do on Smackdown. Other than that we’re likely going to get some more entrants into the Andre battle royal. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Occupy Raw last week.

HHH is in the ring and says what happens at Wrestlemania is all going to be our fault. He’s had a week to think about what happened with Daniel Bryan and it doesn’t sit well with him. At Wrestlemania, he’s going to do what he always does in the ring, but we’ll see that in twenty days. He tells us to enjoy the rest of the show but here’s Batista to interrupt.

Batista says HHH has problems with Daniel Bryan but the real problems are with him. HHH has no right to add Bryan to Batista’s main event because he’s back to be WWE Champion. Batista wants to know what HHH is thinking, but HHH wants to know why Batista thinks Bryan has a chance to make it to the title match at all.

This brings out Randy Orton to throw in his two cents. Orton is worried about Bryan being added as well but HHH cuts him off and asks if Bryan is really that much in their heads. The fans chant YES and Batista says Bryan may be in their heads, but nowhere near as much as he’s in HHH’s. Orton asks for and receives a No DQ match against Bryan tonight to prove he can do what Batista couldn’t.

Orton and Batista argue with Batista saying the YES Movement exists is because Orton sucks. He calls Orton a paper champion who only has those belts because of HHH’s support. HHH tries to hold them apart but gets shoved away so he just leaves. Batista says HHH has to fix this but HHH says he’s sick of this.

He’s sick of the little troll face Daniel Bryan, the fans chanting for him, of Hollywood movie stars telling HHH how to run this business, and of talented guys who need him to hold their hand to win a match. Maybe the old man was right: the only one you can trust in this world is yourself, so there’s going to be a triple threat at Wrestlemania, but Daniel Bryan won’t be in it. Instead, HHH is going to beat Daniel Bryan and go into the match himself. In other words, the winner goes to the title match. HHH leaves and Orton lays out Batista with an RKO.

Batista leaves and says coming back was a big mistake.

Real Americans vs. Usos

Non-title and this is a result of the Usos saving Cody Rhodes and Goldust from a post match attack by the Real Americans on Smackdown. Jey runs over Swagger to start and catches him in a spinebuster. Cole screws up early this time and says a win for the Tag Team Champions could give the Real Americans a shot at the titles. Cesaro comes in and works over Jey in the corner but gets caught by a kick to the chest.

Off to Jimmy for an uppercut and a slam. Jey comes back in and tries a leapfrog but jumps into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Off to Swagger again for a chinlock but Jimmy fights up and tags his brother back in to speed things up. A Cesaro distraction lets Jack kick Jimmy to the floor and we take a break. Back with Cesaro in control of Jimmy but he punches his way out of the corner.

Swagger catches him in a belly to belly suplex for two, followed by the Vader Bomb/Cesaro double stomp spot. The announcers praise the company for some awards the WWE App has won as Cesaro nails Jimmy with a European uppercut. Jimmy avoids a charge from Swagger and knocks Cesaro to the floor. A spinning kick to the back of Swagger’s head is enough for the hot tag to Jey who shouts US a lot before the corner Umaga attack gets two.

Jimmy breaks up a Cesaro Swing attempt and throws Cesaro at Jey for a Samoan drop and a near fall. Swagger comes back in and gets caught by the double superkick to send him to the floor. Jimmy dives onto Jack but Cesaro blocks a Jey dive with the European uppercut, setting up the Neutralizer for the pin on Jey at 12:25.

Rating: C. The amtch was fun but at the same time can we PLEASE stop having new champions lose matches to set up a future Tag Title match, which will likely have the New Age Outlaws as well. Here’s a simple way to do this instead: “The following contest is for the #1 contendership to the Tag Team Championship!” Throw Los Matadores out there and have a match, making both the champions and challengers look strong. Why do I have to give writing lessons to a WRITING TEAM?

We look at WWE Slam City, an animated series about what happens when the wrestlers all get fired and have to get day jobs. I’ve heard worse ideas actually.

Clip from Smackdown of the Shield costing Kane a match and leaving him laying after a Reigns spear to end the show.

Kane comes up to Shield in the back and says all four of them made mistakes on Friday. Ambrose doesn’t seem to care but Kane says they have a mission. If he can’t count on them then the Authority can’t count on them, meaning they’re a liability. Kane asks if he can count on them. Rollins says they’re united and Reigns says believe it. Kane gets even more serious and calls them replaceable.

Hornswoggle hands out t-shirts to fans when Bad News Barrett rises up on his podium. He makes fun of the leprechaun celebrating St. Patrick’s Day and talks about St. Patrick chasing the snakes out of Ireland. However, the bad news is the fans will spend all day getting drunk, have a hangover tomorrow and regret all the stupid things they’ve done.

Sheamus vs. Titus O’Neil

Hornswoggle is still at ringside. Titus is officially in the battle royal and comes out with a big green and white hat and a bright orange beard painted on his face. Christian is on commentary and announces himself as an entrant as well. O’Neil hammers Sheamus into the corner to start but gets sent to the floor and shouldered off the apron. Titus rams him into the post as Christian says he’s undefeated except for the losses he’s caused himself.

Christian says JBL looks like David Spade in a fat suit and JBL nearly loses it. Titus slams Sheamus to the mat and then the floor before throwing Hornswoggle inside. He tries a fall away slam but Sheamus comes back in and catches the little guy before throwing him into Titus’ ribs. There are the ten forearms to the chest and a powerslam setting up the Brogue Kick for the pin at 4:11.

Rating: C. Decent little power match here but Titus needs to win a match that matters instead of just being a jobber to the stars. He showed so much potential before the Darren Young match but this is his first appearance in weeks. It’s better than having nothing to do though so it could be worse.

Sheamus enters the battle royal post match but Christian attacks him and hits the Killswitch on the floor because this feud just can’t end.

Next week’s guest star: Arnold Schwarzenegger. Scooby Doo and the Mystery Machine will be there as well.

Here’s Cena to talk about the Wyatts. He says he’s been here 12 years and has had over 3,500 matches which makes him like family to the WWE Universe. They’re like an old married couple and he has a secret for them: he’s afraid of Bray Wyatt. He’s afraid of everything Bray stands for and what he is, because he’s never fought anyone like Bray before.

Bray is trying to convince the people that what you see with John Cena isn’t real. Cena won’t take that because he believes in everything he’s done and stands for because Wrestlemania is about fighting for every scar and injury he’s been through. He’ll fight for his legacy at Wrestlemania and here are the Wyatts on screen.

Bray is wearing a Cena shirt and says children believe in superheroes because they want to believe the world is good. They haven’t learned the truth about life yet. Bray’s childhood wasn’t all rainbows and butterfliers. He has scars of his own because the world gave them to him. Everything he loves in life is going to wither away and die.

The fans chant for Cena as Bray says he could be just like John. He could sign autographs and kiss babies to make sure people bought his merchandise and go home to his plastic girlfriend in his castle while making jokes about everything to make himself feel better. At Wrestlemania, Bray doesn’t care if he dies as long as the world sees Cena the way he does. Follow the buzzards.

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

No DQ and non-title. Orton hammers him into the corner to start but can’t ram Bryan face first into the buckle. Daniel scores with a knee to the ribs and wraps Randy’s leg around the post. Back in and Orton uppercuts Bryan down and heads to the floor for some forearms to the chest. Daniel comes back with a hard shot to knock Orton off the apron before nailing the FLYING GOAT. Orton pulls a kendo stick out from under the ring and says there’s no bell to ring because it’s No DQ. He belly to back suplexes Bryan onto the announce table and we take a break.

Back with Orton still in control and working over Bryan’s back before crotching him against the post. He hits the backbreaker from the apron to the floor in a nice looking move as the announcers talk about HHH losing his cool earlier tonight. They head inside again with Orton throwing Bryan into the corner before stopping to do the YES motion. Bryan backflips over Orton out of the corner and hits the running clothesline.

Daniel hits the running dropkick in the corner to set up a top rope hurricanrana for two. It’s kendo stick/YES KICK time with Daniel going off on Orton. The big kick to the head gets two more but Randy pops up and crotches Daniel on the top rope. A superplex gets two for the champion and he just stomps on Bryan out of frustration.

The Elevated DDT puts Daniel down but he rolls to the floor before the RKO. Orton comes outside and gets caught by the running dropkick, sending Orton into the timekeeper’s area. Randy gets a chair and blasts Daniel in the ribs and back before heading back inside, only to have Batista spear Orton in half. Bryan dropkicks Batista outside and steals the pin on Batista at 14:32.

Rating: B-. These guys get better each time they’re out there and this was their most entertaining match in awhile. The No DQ rule helped a lot and even though it was pretty obvious Batista was coming back, the stuff we got leading up to that was entertaining as well. Good match here.

Batista hits the Bomb on Orton post match.

How to get the WWE Network.

Here’s Heyman with something to say. He says Undertaker has gotten a lot of wins at Wrestlemania but barely survived. Those same opponents have been easily beaten by Brock Lesnar and Heyman has proof. We get a video of Undertaker’s Wrestlemania matches, showing how much more difficult each victory has been because Undertaker is getting older. On the other hand, Brock has destroyed HHH, Mark Henry and CM Punk. The video closes with a great line: “Now he will conquer death itself.” Heyman says the Streak will Rest in Peace at Wrestlemania.

HHH and Stephanie are in the back and Stephanie doesn’t like the idea of HHH talking to Bryan tonight. She’ll ignore him saying he wants to talk to Bryan “like a man” and goes on a rant about Bryan spitting on the McMahon legacy. HHH says it’s just talking but Stephanie wants to know what happens when HHH wins the title and has to go on the road. What about their business or the family. HHH glares at her and says he’s got this so don’t worry about it. Stephanie says he better take care of things before storming out.

Goldust vs. Fandango

Goldust looks at Summer Rae and still catches Fandango coming after him. A few atomic drops have the dancer in trouble and Goldust does a few steps of his own. Summer gets on the apron as Goldust does some disco dancing. He barks at Summer but Cody catches her, only to have Fandango get in some cheap shots.

Summer doesn’t mind being caught by Cody but Fandango isn’t pleased. We hit the chinlock for a few moments before Goldust fights up, only to get caught in the chinlock again. Goldust has a bit of blood next to his right eye. A suplex gets two on Goldust but Fandango misses the top rope legdrop. Goldust hits a quick Final Cut for the pin at 5:13. Goldust looked angry about the cut.

Rating: C-. You know what? I kind of liked this. No story, no reason for the match, nothing after. Just two guys having a match for about five minutes and the bigger star getting a clean pin. Everything has a point most of the time and it gets a bit tiring at times. I rather enjoyed just having a quick match with no meaning to it at all. Not a bad match either.

Here’s Kane to address the Shield. He talks about all the safety codes that were broken last week in the Occupy Raw movement and blames someone for causing it. Jerry Lawler of all people was apparently responsible for getting those fans into the ring, which JBL accused him of doing last week. Lawler won’t get up so here’s Shield to deal with the problem. Kane unbuttons his shirt and says he’s known Jerry for a long time. Lawler isn’t in fighting shape so Kane is only going to enjoy this a little. Jerry is given the chance to speak on his own behalf as Shield surrounds him.

Instead it’s Rollins saying he sees the look in Lawler’s eyes and has a good feeling Daniel Bryan isn’t coming to save him. The Shield however, always does what’s best for business. They slowly turn to face Kane and Lawler takes the opportunity to run for his life. Kane stares the three of them down and shakes his head. He says Reigns doesn’t know what he’s about to do and the beating is on. Kane fights them off for awhile but Rollins kicks his head off and the spear drops him. There’s the Triple Bomb and Kane is left laying. This still didn’t feel like a face turn but rather an anti-Kane turn.

Funkadactyls vs. AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka

Naomi is back with a patch over her eye (and of course it has glitter) and the Bellas are on commentary. Nikki thinks she should get a Divas Title shot, even though Naomi is #1 contender. Cameron hammers away on Tamina to start but gets her head taken off by a clothesline. AJ comes in and puts on a chinlock as the Bellas tease JBL with talk of tattoos. Back to Tamina but Cameron makes the tag off to Naomi. Everything breaks down and AJ grabs a guillotine choke on Naomi, only to be slammed down, followed by the split legged moonsault for the pin at 3:42.

Rating: C. For commercial for Total Divas. Multi-Diva match at the PPV. Next.

AJ yells at Tamina post match and gets shoved down. Tamina walks off.

The latest inductee into the Hall of Fame is Mr. T., which was announced earlier today.

We look back at Hogan announcing the battle royal last week.

Big E./Big Show/Dolph Ziggler/Mark Henry vs. Alberto Del Rio/Damien Sandow/Curtis Axel/Ryback

All eight of these guys are in the battle royal. Big E. and Ryback start things out and a weak Goldberg chant begins. Ryback shoves him into the corner but Big E. runs him over with a big shoulder. Off to Henry vs. Axel with Mark kicking Curtis’ face off. Ziggler gets the tag to a high pitched pop and grabs a neckbreaker on Ryback. A dropkick sends the power guy to the floor and it’s a standoff as we go to a break.

Back with Sandow working over Ziggler before it’s off to Ryback for a delayed vertical suplex. He takes a bit too long though and Dolph counters into a small package for two. Back to Axel for some elbows to the head but Ziggler comes back with a DDT. Sandow breaks up the hot tag attempt and sends Dolph head first into the buckle. He misses a charge though and goes head first into the buckle as well, allowing the hot tag to Big Show. Everything breaks down and people are thrown up and over the top rope. Big Show and Sandow are left alone and it’s a chokeslam for the pin at approximately 12:00.

Rating: C-. This was just a preview for the battle royal and there’s nothing wrong with that. Much like everything else tonight, the wrestling wasn’t the point here and it really didn’t need to be. The battle royal is going to be a big part of the show and it’s going to be a fun match so points for actually building it a big.

We look back at the Bryan/Batista/Orton situation from earlier.

Batista tries to leave again and says he’s never quit anything in his life.  He’s leaving Wrestlemania with the title no matter who the third man is.

Bray Wyatt vs. Kofi Kingston

Before the match we get a video on Bray vs. Cena set to a rap song about a guy being strange since birth and talking about legacy with clips of Bray’s original backwoods videos, comparing them to Cena’s mainstream appeal. This is really starting to work. The match is a total squash with Bray destroying Kofi while singing about having the joy down in his heart. He runs Kofi over with a clothesline and drives in right hands before dropping him with a gutbuster. Sister Abigail ends this squash at 2:55.

Trailer for Oculus, a new movie from WWE Studios. It’s a horror movie about an evil mirror.

Here’s HHH for the big talk with Bryan. Daniel accepts his invitation down to the ring and HHH says this has never been personal. It’s always been about what’s best for business whether Daniel can understand that or not. Somehow this has been where it’s always led and they’re going to fight in three weeks at Wrestlemania. HHH won’t apologize for what he does to Bryan in that ring and he wouldn’t expect an apology from Bryan either. Bryan has crossed a line and HHH has to put an end to it at Wrestlemania because he has no choice.

HHH has to end the YES Movement and end the uprising and shut everything down. He has to do that and if he has to destroy Daniel to do that, then so be it. There are no hard feelings in all of this and may the best man win. HHH sticks out his hand but Bryan shakes his head no. That’s cool with HHH because he would do the exact same thing. HHH has tried to stop Bryan since Summerslam and dumped a world on top of him, but Bryan is still standing here. The fans chant for Daniel Bryan because he hasn’t folded under the pressure. Now the fans try a CM Punk chant as HHH says Bryan has earned his respect.

He goes to leave but here’s Stephanie to rant about respect. Bryan endangered people’s lives last week including HHH’s, so she’s pressing formal charges. Cops come out to arrest Bryan, though I’m not sure they have jurisdiction over something that happened in Tennessee. The cops surround Bryan and forcibly take him to the ground with nightsticks. They don’t beat him, but HHH has that evil smile on his face. He calls the cops as Bryan’s hands are bound behind his back.

HHH says this isn’t what he wants because these aren’t even real cops. They leave the ring and Stephanie is smiling as well. HHH is looking forward to this and goes after a defenseless Bryan. They head outside with HHH sending him into the steps and announce table as Stephanie cheers him on. Bryan comes back with some headbutts, only to be dropped on the announce table again.

He screams about his arm before HHH throws him into the barricade and punches even more. The beating keeps going with Bryan just getting destroyed. HHH lays him on the table one more time and Stephanie mocks the YES motion. She gets in a few slaps for good measure. Bryan: “YOU HIT LIKE A GIRL!” HHH lay shim against the post and cracks Bryan in the head with a chair like a Concharito. Daniel is out cold so HHH adds a Pedigree and kisses Stephanie.  He says this belongs to them and there is no YES Movement.

Overall Rating: B+. Tonight was all about the emotions leading up to Wrestlemania. We saw it in the triple threat story, heard about it with Cena being afraid of Bray Wyatt, heard it from Big Show when he talked about what the battle royal meant to him and saw it with Kane being angry at the Shield.

The matches are all set but tonight was a big step in making us care. Having a good match is one thing, but making the fans CARE about it is a different story entirely. The latter is very rare but they’re going for it with this Wrestlemania. That’s the right way to go about a big show and they’re giving it the effort it needs. Tonight made me want to see these matches on a different level than I did before and that’s exactly what these shows are supposed to do.

Results

Real Americans b. Usos – Neutralizer to Jey

Sheamus b. Titus O’Neil – Brogue Kick

Daniel Bryan b. Randy Orton – Pin after a spear from Batista

Goldust b. Fandango – Final Cut

Funkadactyls b. Tamina Snuka/AJ Lee – Split legged moonsault to AJ

Big E./Big Show/Dolph Ziggler/Mark Henry b. Alberto Del Rio/Damien Sandow/Curtis Axel/Ryback – Chokeslam to Sandow

Bray Wyatt b. Kofi Kingston – Sister Abigail

 

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HHH made a change.Now it’s the winner of HHH vs. Bryan going into the main event, meaning there will not be a singles match no matter what.  That opens the door for a fourway.