No Mercy 2007
Date: October 7, 2007
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

For you WrestleZone enthusiasts, this is the first PPV I ever did an LD for. For those of you that have no idea what I just said, I’d recommend a Yoo-Hoo and some store brand cookies. Anyway, this is the HHH show as Cena is injured, so it’s HHH wrestling three times to take his place. First of all, he has to get the world title so we’ll get to that part first. This is one of the shows that made the number of title reigns stupid for reasons we’ll get to later. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the Book of Genesis and how Cena’s rain (as in the rain of Noah) is over. The idea is that there’s a guaranteed new champion tonight.

We open the show with Vince and his lackey Regal. Oh ok Regal is GM. Vince says that Cena is no longer champion, thereby ending his year long reign. The fans chant for Y2J but Vince says no. Jericho was still yet to return as the SAVE US videos had been airing already. Instead the new champion is the #1 contender, Randy Orton. Orton comes out and gets a big pyro display when he takes the title off the stand it was on.

Orton has to defend it tonight but he gets to hand pick his opponent. The fans again chant for Y2J and Vince goes into EVIL mode, saying to shut up because the champion is about to speak. Orton says he won’t be defending against Cena tonight because he’s the latest name on the list of Orton’s victims. He says there’s no one that can stand up to him….and here’s HHH to a big ovation.

HHH says he knows Orton will be a fighting champion, so how about a title match right here and now? Orton says no so HHH says that Orton must not want his second title reign to be shorter than his first. The people cheer so HHH says that it’s clearly what the people want and that’s what Vince does, but Vince still says no. The Game calls the Boss a balless coward and that he has raisins, not grapefruits. That does it so ring the bell.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

Vince distracts HHH and Orton gets in a cheap shot to take over. That lasts about 5 seconds as HHH elbows him down. Orton bails to the floor and tries to take a walk but HHH stops him. Orton heads to the floor again and HHH stops him again. Back in HHH knees him down but his suplex is countered into the backbreaker for two. HHH slugs back but walks into the powerslam for two.

Here come the stomps as Orton was still in that slow motion period of his career. You know, the one that ran for like 5 years. Chinlock time which HHH breaks out of and clotheslines Orton down. Another clothesline in the corner crushes Randy and it’s time for a superplex. HHH’s feet hit the mat a bit there so the landing was a little awkward. Either way it just gets two.

Orton tries to charge at HHH but walks into a spinebuster for two. HHH sends him to the floor and then back in, but on the way back inside he walks into the elevated DDT for two. The kickout got a big reaction. RKO and Pedigree are both countered but Orton walks into a knee to the head. HHH hooks a Figure Four and a good one at that. That gets escaped and HHH goes up but gets crotched. Orton charges into the post and HHH rolls him up for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here but it only ran about eleven minutes so they didn’t have a ton of time to get anything going. This is one of the instances where I was talking about the title reigns meaning nothing, as one of Orton’s current nine reigns lasted a total of about 15 minutes. Anyway the match wasn’t that bad and having the ending be something other than a finisher into a pin was a nice change of pace.

HHH celebrates for a good long while.

Orton is freaked out in the back and runs into Vince. Nothing is said.

Jeff Hardy/Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Mr. Kennedy

This is a bonus match, Jeff is the IC Champion and the country boys are the Raw tag champions. The tag champs say they have a new partner to keep another fluke like the one on Raw from happening. Cade and Kendrick start things off and it’s quickly off to London. Murdoch comes in and gets taken apart by a double teaming from Hardy and London. Trevor runs Hardy over with a clothesline and it’s off to Kennedy with a big pop.

Kennedy misses a charge and Hardy tags in Kendrick. Cade is in as well and Murdoch low bridges Brian to the floor. Kendrick plays Ricky Morton for awhile as Kennedy chokes him in the corner. A BIG boot in the corner gets two. Cravate keeps Kendrick down and he still can’t make a tag. Back to Cade who loads up a superplex but Kendrick headbutts his way out of it and a tornado DDT puts Cade down.

Double tags bring in Jeff and Trevor and Hardy tries that sitout gordbuster of his. He drops Murdoch though and Trevor LANDS ON THE TOP OF HIS HEAD. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Swanton would get the pin but Murdoch rolls to the floor to check if he’s dead. London vs. Kennedy now and Kennedy is put down with a spinwheel kick. Hardy misses whatever he was going for as Kendrick and Murdoch fall to the floor. Kennedy gets London on top and the rolling fireman’s carry slam off the middle rope gets the pin.

Rating: C-. Considering Murdoch is still alive, this at least ends on a positive note. The ending was cool too and with this being a bonus match, there’s only so much criticism I can give this match. It did its job, although I kind of wonder what the ads for this show were like given that there was a big ten minute hole in it and they already had a 15 minute talking segment to open things up.

HHH and Batista, both world champions at the moment, run into each other in the back. Batista says someone once told him that it’s a lot easier to win it than to keep it. Batista has a Punjabi Prison match against Khali later. Great. Dave leaves and HHH runs into Vince. Vince says he gives the people what they want and there was a match advertised between HHH and Umaga, which is what the people are going to get. The title is on the line.

ECW Title: Big Daddy V vs. CM Punk

V is challenging and has Striker with him. This was supposed to be Dreamer vs. Punk but GM Estrada did something to stop that. Punk is the hometown boy so you know he gets a big pop. V immediately throws Punk to the floor and back in it’s anal raping time. Look up the Visagra and you’ll get the idea. Punk comes back with some kicks but they have no effect at all. A corner splash misses and a missile dropkick puts V down….and here’s Striker for the DQ. This was like 90 seconds long.

V crushes him post match. What was the point of any of this? Punk is helped out by referees.

We recap the series of contests betwee MVP and Matt Hardy, including arm wrestling, boxing (with Evander Holyfield being brought in as a surrogate), basketball, chess, throwing a football and push-ups. Tonight: it’s a pizza eating contest. OH COME ON. Taz is hosting. There are judges for this for no apparent reason: Melina and Maria. They’re scorekeepers instead of judges. MVP is US Champion but he wouldn’t actually drop the title to Matt until APRIL, as in six and a half months from now. They’re also tag champions.

MVP complains about the pizza because it’s not healthy. He criticizes Chicago for being fat, prompting Maria to say she’s from Chicago, so is she fat? Matt and MVP get in a stupid argument as this just drags on and on and on. It’s finally time to eat and by the time this starts, this segment has gone longer than the six man went. Matt quickly slows down and it doesn’t matter as it takes MVP almost two minutes to eat a single slice. Yes, they’re eating for two minutes. The final score is two slices to zero with Matt winning. Matt throws up on MVP. This went longer than the world title match.

Cyber Sunday ad. They say you can pick HIAC as a stipulation. Obviously that never happened.

We recap HH vs. Umaga, which is really HHH vs. Vince with a surrogate Samoan. This ties into the whole Horny is Vince’s legitimate son son deal. The match was originally non-title because neither guy had a title coming in.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Umaga

HHH gets to use King of Kings now that he’s champion. Umaga takes him down immediately so HHH fires back with a DDT. Thankfully Umaga remembers his racial stereotypes and no sells it. HHH low bridges him and we go to the floor. Umaga gets rammed into the steps and yells at HHH for it. My goodness it’s nice to see a Samoan monster that knows how to take a beating to the head.

Back in Umaga pounds him down but misses a middle rope headbutt. For some reason that slows him down but the Facebuster has no effect. Pedigree is countered but the spinebuster works just fine. Another Pedigree attempt is countered into a Samoan Drop and the Game has bad ribs. Out to the floor and HHH goes into the barricade. Back in for a bearhug as the champ is in trouble.

Umaga shifts up into a spinning Rock Bottom for two. The headbutt (this time not of the ropes) hits the bad ribs and is followed by a knee. Umaga pounds on the head of the Game and has him down in the corner. The running hip attack (SEE??? IT WAS UMAGA! NOT FREAKING RIKISHI YOU STUPID NXT PEOPLE!) misses, Umaga gets launched into the post and HHH hits a quick Pedigree to retain.

Rating: C-. Not much here as it felt like a Raw main event instead of a PPV title match. Then again this is only the second PPV title match out of four tonight so it’s ok if there’s a match with only about six and a half minutes. It’s nothing that great but it was good to allow HHH to look good. You know, like in a real title reign at a smaller PPV instead of in the third match of the night, but whatever.

We put a spotlight on the Punjabi Prison and have an ominous song but that’s later on. Instead, we see Khali meditating.

Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay

No reason given for the match before the entrances. Rey is listed at 165. That’s small even for him. Feeling out process to start but Rey takes him down with a shot to the knee and a low dropkick. Slingshot splash gets two. A hard (and appropriate) Irish whip slows Rey down but he dropkicks the knee again to send Finlay to the apron. More kicks look to set up a sunset bomb to the floor but Finlay escapes and ties him up in the ring skirt and pounds away to take over.

Rey gets thrown shoulder first into the post and it’s a Fujiwara Armbar from Finlay. A hard clothesline gets two and it’s back to the arm. Rey manages to snapmare his way out of a crossface chickenwing and send Finlay into the buckle. Springboard crossbody gets two. Seated senton gets the same and a counter to the sitout bulldog is countered into 619 position, but Finlay counters the counter to the counter (got that?) to clothesline him down for two.

A rana out of the corner is countered into a shoulder breaker for two. The Irishman takes a buckle pad off and uses the distraction of the referee to go for the club. Rey blocks the shot and ranas Finlay to the floor. Finlay is in 619 position on the apron (as in he’s outside the ring) but the 619 misses. Rey kicks him in the head and drops a leg on the back of his head, sending Finlay to the floor with a THUD. The referee calls for help and the match is over.

Rating: C+. This was getting good by the end. The more I see of Finlay the more I tend to like his work. He’s really good at going out there and having a solid match and being a bully for someone to stand up to which is a good character to have. Rey is perfect as the underdog too so the chemistry was there. The ending kind of sucked though.

The replay makes it look even worse. He’s taken out on a stretcher…..and he pops up to jump Rey and the place FREAKS. This was a really good performance considering it went so fast. The beating is bad enough for Rey to be taken out on a stretcher.

SAVE US! WHOEVER YOU ARE!

HHH has ice on his ribs when Vince comes in. He guaranteed the fans a last man standing match, so that’s what HHH has tonight against Orton for the title.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle

Candace is defending and looks like an idiot with the angel’s wings on her outfit. Beth throws her into the corner to start but Candice manages a nice bridging cradle for two. She goes for Beth’s arm but we get the Davey Boy Smith/Shawn Michaels move of the pullup from the ground. Powerslam gets two and it’s off to a chinlock.

Actually it’s a cobra clutch but it’s the same idea. Candice climbs the corner ala Bret vs. Austin for two but can’t break the hold. She finally rams Beth into the buckle to escape and a top rope cross body gets two, as does a sunset flip out of the corner. Beth grabs her into a fisherman’s buster which is enough for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. Candice was supposed to be the next big thing in the Divas division but this was her only title reign and not many people really remember her. Beth would become a much bigger deal with multiple title reigns, including the one that is going on now which will seemingly never end. This wasn’t bad.

Beth says this is the era of the Glamazon.

The Prison is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. Khali. Batista got the title in a threeway at Unforgiven by pinning the giant. Khali wanted a rematch one on one but on his terms. The cage is explained which we’ll get to in a minute. It’s more complicated than it needs to be anyway.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Great Khali

Batista is defending and this is inside the Punjabi Prison. Ok so there’s a big round cage around the ring that goes down to the floor. It comes up to a circle at the top with sharp sticks on top. There’s another cage (all made of bamboo mind you) with four gates on it. You can request to open one at any time and at that point you have sixty seconds to go through it. If you don’t get out, it’s closed and that gate can’t be used again. You have to get out of both cages to win. It’s WAY too complicated which is why there were only two of these matches ever.

Batista gets in a quick shot to knock Khali into the ropes and tie him up. He hammers away instead of leaving like an intelligent person would. Well he’s an animal so maybe that explains it. Khali comes back with a chop to the head and opens a gate, but Batista stops him enough for the clock to go down. The Plunge is countered but Khali kicks him down. Leg drop misses and Batista spears him down.

The second gate is opened but Khali grabs the leg. He chokes him against the cage until the clock runs out and the door is shut. Khali pulls a rope off the wall of the cage to tie Batista to the cage. There’s a strap attached to the cage for some reason so Khali pulls it down and it’s whipping time. Batista wasn’t tied up so I guess it was just choking. The third gate is opened but Khali walks into a spinebuster. Big Dave goes for the door but Khali stops him again, leaving us with only one door.

Batista grabs the strap and gives Khali a beating. Now Batista tries to climb over the top for some reason but Khali pounds him down, right into position for Batista to Bomb him out of the corner. Khali blocks it with punches though and the champion is down. Vice Grip goes on and Batista is in trouble. Khali asks for the fourth gate to be opened but Batista hits him low to put both guys down.

The last door closes so Khali beats up the referee through the cage. Khali tries to climb as JBL says this is something out of Jurassic Park. Uh….not exactly Jibbles. Khali tries to climb out but gets knocked down. JBL: “When big men fall down off the top rope like that it hurts.” Batista climbs as well but gets pulled down with a big crash. Khali climbs up and over the top of the first cage while Batista is still down. Both guys climb a cage and in a very cool looking ending, Batista jumps from the outside of the inner cage to the inside of the outer cage and gets up and out faster than Khali can to retain.

Rating: C-. I don’t think anyone would say this was good. I don’t think anyone would argue that a regular cage match wouldn’t have been better. I do however think this wasn’t half bad. The ending was really cool with that jump being something almost out of an action movie. It was an interesting experiment but thankfully they didn’t try it after this.

We recap the night long story with HHH vs. Vince/Orton. HHH is in the back and says the Game isn’t over. He’s coming for Orton.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

Last man standing. Slugout to start with Orton going after the bad ribs. They keep the slugout going out to the floor where a Pedigree is countered. The bad ribs land on the steel and Orton gets control. Back in and a punch puts HHH down. Out to the floor again and Orton belly to back suplexes him onto the barricade. That gets a six count and Orton throws him into the steps for another six.

They head into the ring and Orton hits a release powerslam for about eight. Facebuster puts Orton down but he pops back up and gets a cord off the floor. He chokes HHH out but what should be murder only gets a nine count. Orton loads up the announce table and gets a horrible shot to the head with a monitor. An RKO from one table to the other doesn’t work as HHH launches him through the second table.

Both guys are down and Orton is holding his arm. Gee where have I seen that before? Trips gets up and it’s a nine count on Orton. A spinebuster on the floor but that gets the same result. Steps to the face of Orton should kill him but gets the slowest nine count ever. Back into the ring and HHH gets a chair. Orton manages to kick the bad ribs and DDTs him onto the chair for an eight or so.

Randy finally goes off and pounds HHH down in the corner and an RKO on the open chair gets nine. The Punt is grabbed and HHH throws Orton over the top to the floor. They go to the floor with HHH pounding on him before throwing him onto the remaining table. Orton escapes and slams him into the post to put HHH down. He gets the steps but HHH hits him low to “slam” Orton’s head into them. A chair to Orton’s head while it’s still on the steps gets nine and we go back to the table. An RKO out of nowhere onto the table gives Orton the title. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: B. Good match but the counts got pretty ridiculous at times. The ending didn’t help either as Orton had hit him with far bigger stuff just moments earlier but the RKO ends it because that’s what Orton finishes matches with. Also it doesn’t help that these two had THREE last man standing matches in total. See why people got tired of them?

Overall Rating: B-. I didn’t like it as much as the 06 version but this was still a solid show. The HHH vs. Orton love fest didn’t quite do it for me but the rest of the stuff was good enough and you can’t say nothing happened here. This is turning into a show that you expect nothing from but get a good result out of and that’s fine with me. There’s one more to go and I remember liking it a lot.

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No Mercy 2006
Date: October 8, 2006
Location: RBC Center, Raleigh, North Carolina
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s back to the WWE PPVs and it’s a Smackdown show with Booker defending. This is hardly an exciting looking main event with Booker defending against Finlay, Lashley and Batista. Other than that we have the debut of MVP against a jobber and Kennedy vs. Undertaker in what I’m sure is going to be a thriller. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the main event with Booker talking about how he’s going to reign forever on Smackdown. The announcers talking about how screwed Booker is might as well be putting a big stamp on the show saying BOOKER RETAINS.

The pyro seems exceptionally better for some reason.

Matt Hardy vs. Gregory Helms

This feud went on for a long time. Both guys are from North Carolina so there really isn’t a crowd favorite. Helms is the Cruiserweight Champion so facing a heavyweight is supposed to be a big deal for him. Helms literally is the hometown boy as he’s billed from Raleigh. He won the first match via a low blow and Matt won the second one the same way. Matt uses his weight to take him down with a shoulder and they stare at each other.

Helms goes after the arm which doesn’t work but the second attempt works. A kick to the back gives Helms the advantage and by shouting THIS IS MY HOUSE, he becomes the crowd favorite. Matt comes back with a suplex and clotheslines Helms to the floor. Pescado follows up and Cole screws up by saying TLC 2 was six years ago in this build. Back in and Matt gets dropped on the top buckle and a backbreaker gets two.

Something like a Codebreaker gets the same. Off to an arm trap chinlock but Matt fights up and hits a reverse DDT for two. They slug it out and Matt clotheslines him down for two. Middle rope legdrop gets two. Twist of Fate is loaded up but Helms counters with a weird belly to belly suplex/Eye of the Hurricane combo for two. He hits the same move again and gets the same result. A third one lets him go to the top but he jumps into a punch.

Side Effect gets two. Another Side Effect hits and a release Rock Bottom sets up the moonsault but it lands on knees. Shining Wizard misses but a second attempt hits for two. This is getting really good. Hardy goes up but gets crotched, allowing Helms to hit some weird kick off the top which looked like it missed. That only gets two so Helms tries the Eye of the Hurricane but Matt counters it into the Twist of Fate and it’s finally over.

Rating: B. Good opening match here with both guys showing off for their hometown crowd. It’s amazing what happens when you give guys like these two almost fifteen minutes and let them have some fun. Matt looked good and motivated which is definitely his biggest flaw most of the time. Well that and the fact that he’s insane. Good stuff.

Sharmell tries to calm down Booker as he’s nervous about the main event. Regal comes in and Booker says his services are needed more than ever. Booker says he’s against three dragons and can’t even trust his own knight Finlay. Regal says he’s in for whatever Booker needs. Booker wants Finlay to lay down and wants Regal to talk him into it.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Teacher’s Pets

The Pets are managed by Michelle McCool and are K.C. James and Idol Stevens. Stevens is now known as Damien Sandow who is currently about to debut on Smackdown. The champs have Ashley Massaro with them. Stevens and London start things off and down goes Stevens to a rana. Off to Kendrick as they’re moving incredibly fast here with some Motor City Machineguns kind of stuff. Top rope cross body gets two.

The champions take over and it’s off to K.C. He has less success than his partner and is sent to the floor. Back to Stevens who is thrown right back to the floor. Stereo dives take the challengers out but McCool interferes to knock London off the top. Stevens misses a legdrop back in the ring so it’s back to James with a knee to the back for two. Chinlock goes on and then a modified abdominal stretch.

London fights out of that too and the heels do some pretty weak double teaming to keep him in the match. This isn’t a very interesting match as the challengers are really not that good. Case in point, London easily takes them both down but Stevens manages to break up the tag. The second time though Paul makes them look like idiots again and makes the tag to Brian.

JBL is talking about demolition derbies with Chinese acrobats for some reason. London hits a suicide dive to take out Stevens and James hits a superplex for two on Kendrick. Back in the ring more more heel miscommunication leads to Kendrick hitting a tornado DDT for two. Stevens hits Kendrick with a backbreaker after McCool offers a distraction, getting two. The girls get into a fight as London launches Kendrick into a double dropkick to take out both of them. Sliced Bread sets up a Poetry In Motion into a Shooting Star from London for the pin on Stevens.

Rating: C. It’s not a bad match but it was just kind of there. The tag division was incredibly weak at this point as you can tell with people like Stevens and James getting a title match. They weren’t ready for this spot and it was painfully obvious that it was the case. McCool would go on to be a much bigger star than either of them.

Marine trailer kills some time because the premiere is Friday.

Regal is trying to find Finlay but finds Vito in a dress. He runs off and falls into a bunch of ketchup and mustard which was there for him to fall into.

Here’s Teddy and there’s a massive birthday present in the ring, as in it comes up to Teddy’s ears. Today is the birthday of……The Miz! He’s undefeated at this point and has earned a celebration. There’s cake too. JBL is going off on Miz and it’s hilarious. Miz does the HOO RAH thing and the fans seem into it. Teddy says Miz has been hitting on Layla lately so here she is to celebrate with him. She’s in a robe which clearly has lingerie under it. This is the curly haired and therefore much hotter Layla.

His birthday wish is for her, but she stops him and says chair please. Miz: GET HER A CHAIR!!! She sits him down and he gives commentary on her blowing in his ear. She asks for some music and JBL is losing it. There goes the robe and dang she looks good. She blindfolds him and he asks for whips and chains. The present gets opened up and it’s Big Dick Johnson in a thong of course. I think they did this on ECW as well. I’m sure the people that bought the PPV are SO glad they paid for this too.

Buy the Vince DVD. No seriously, that thing is hilarious.

MVP vs. Marty Garner

This is MVP’s in ring debut and Garner is a jobber from OMEGA and some indies. He was occasionally in WWF as a jobber. JBL hates MVP and rips him apart through his short promo. The fans chant Power Ranger. MVP slaps him down before the match starts and JBL is cracking me up as he insults MVP. Garner gets in a right hand and JBL turns into a cheerleader. MVP is in blue which JBL calls blueberry bling. The Play of the Day or whatever he called his finisher gets the pin. Total squash. Again, I’m sure the people that bought the PPV are SO glad they paid for this too.

Regal gets out of the shower as does Vito. Regal drops his towel and he runs down the hall, into Teddy Long. Teddy thinks that Regal has so much time so he can have a match with Benoit. Gee, good thing they didn’t advertise two of the best technical guys ever having a match. People might have paid to see it.

We recap Kennedy vs. Undertaker. Kennedy: “You’re old, I’m new, those mind games won’t work on me, let’s fight.” That took two minutes to explain.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Kennedy is US Champion but that title is underneath Undertaker so this is non-title. Speed vs. power here as Undertaker throws him into the corner but Kennedy escapes. BIG boot takes Kennedy’s head off and it’s time for arm work. Out to the floor and Kennedy’s arm goes into the steps before it’s back inside the square circle. Wristlock is broken up so it’s back to the floor with Kennedy’s arm eating post again.

A boot to the shoulder keeps Kennedy in trouble and now it’s Old School time. Kennedy manages to armdrag him off the top and both guys are down. Kennedy pounds him in the corner but Taker snaps up and hits Old School for two. A running big boot in the corner misses and Taker is knocked into the barricade. Kennedy tries to dive off the apron but gets caught and rammed into the post. He hasn’t been able to get any kind of extended advantage at all for more than about 10 seconds.

Back in the ring and Kennedy pulls Taker through the ropes to get himself a breather. Kennedy drills him coming back in, getting two. The running hip attack to the guy that is on the middle rope gets two. The move Ryder calls the Broski Boot hits and Taker is in trouble. Taker fights up from his knees and knocks Kennedy to the floor. The legdrop across the apron connects.

Back in Kennedy hits a perfectly regular piledriver which Cole calls a Tombstone. It gets two and JBL says he’s speechless. WHY IS SOMEONE PILEDRIVING UNDERTAKER A BIG DEAL??? Cole freaks over it every time when ONLY Kane has had success with it. They even show replays of it. Back at Mania in 2011 they FREAKED when HHH hit one. I don’t get it.

Kennedy hooks a rear naked choke but Taker comes out of it with a Saito Suplex. Slugout is won by Taker with the flying clothesline. Snake Eyes is followed by the big boot and leg, but it only gets two brother. Chokeslam is countered and Kennedy hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. A high kick is ducked and there’s the chokeslam but no cover.

Last Ride is countered and they almost run into the referee. A buckle was exposed somewhere during this match and Kennedy rams Taker into it, followed by a clothesline to take him down. Kenton Bomb gets two so Kennedy is going to walk. Taker grabs the belt and hits him with it for the freaking LAME DQ.

Rating: B-. This was getting REALLY good at the end and then they screw it up with something like that. I mean, at least make it for the belt to make it worth something before you do something that annoying. Taker was actually feeling it tonight to the point that you might have thought Kennedy could pull off the huge upset. Good stuff here until the ending.

Taker destroys Kennedy and the referee post match. Both guys get tombstoned.

Cyber Sunday ad.

We recap Rey vs. Chavo Part 9000. Chavo cost Rey the title at the Bash because he claimed Rey was making a career off the Guerrero name. Well yeah, what’s your point? Vickie sided with Chavo too. Dominic was involved in this somehow too but he didn’t mean much.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

This is falls count anywhere. The idea at the start is that Chavo is trying to win and Rey is trying to pound on Chavo. They go to the corner and it looks like Chavo is trying to powerbomb him off the top to the floor. Rey knocks him off but falls down as well. A dropkick to the side of Chavo’s head puts him down but Chavo comes back with forearms. They go up to the entrance and Chavo tries another powerbomb but Rey grabs the bottom of the set to escape.

While still holding on he hooks a rana to send Chavo into the steel for two. They fight into the empty space on the right of the stage and Rey goes into the hockey boards. Chavo sends him into the barricade in front of the fans and Rey jumps over it to give himself a breather. Chavo goes into the railing and Rey drops a leg on his back for two. Rey tries the wheelbarrow bulldog but Guerrero counters and rams him into the boards for two instead.

They fight up the steps in the crowd with Chavo in control. Rey comes back with some kicks to the ribs and Chavo goes down. He knocks Chavo over the boards and back to the floor level seats. A seated senton takes Chavo down but since he can’t follow up, Guerrero is able to clothesline him down. Rey gets thrown into some chairs and they go to a set of steps into the upper stands. Rey uses the railing for a 619 to put Chavo down and a cross body off said railing gets three.

Rating: B-. Good match here as the brawling was working with the style match they had. This feud went on for awhile longer until I think Rey had to take time off for a knee injury. I might have to be more specific on that so it was the one in 2006. I might have to be more specific than that, but you get the idea. Anyway, this match was good as it felt more like a fight, which was supposed to be the idea.

Clip from the Marine premiere at a military base.

William Regal vs. Chris Benoit

Big pop for Benoit. This is Benoit’s return from an injury. Technical stuff (duh) to start and they head to the mat. They fight over a top wristlock and Regal gets a test of strength grip and Benoit fights up to take over. Regal gets taken to the mat with one as well but he bridges off the mat and nips up. Some very technical stuff here which isn’t the most interesting stuff but it’s awesome if that’s your thing.

Benoit comes back with a HARD chop and headbutts so hard that you can hear the thud. Swan Dive misses and both guys are busted open. The Canadian tries a German on the Englishman but Regal escapes to the apron. Benoit tries another German to the floor but Regal elbows him to the floor. Regal knees him in the head back inside but Benoit picks the leg for a Sharpshooter attempt.

Regal breaks that up and fires away some more. Off to a dragon sleeper head grip while the rest of Benoit’s body is in an abdominal stretch position. That’s pretty awesome. Benoit escapes to the corner where he chops the open cut on Regal’s head. GEEZ that’s awesome for some reason. Regal suplexes him down and a knee drop gets two.

Benoit hooks a Fujiwara Armbar but Regal makes the rope and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE for two. Regal hooks a surfboard but bends Benoit back into a dragon sleeper grip. These holds are awesome. Benoit rolls out of something and goes old school with the dragon suplex (old finisher). He fights into the Crossface and Regal has to tap.

Rating: B+. You give these guys seven or eight more minutes and it’s the match of the year EASILY. This is my kind of match right here: the technical clinic with the hard brawling thrown in. I love this kind of stuff and these are probably two of the best ever at it. These two had some masterpieces, including one on freaking Velocity of all shows. They know some freaking awesome holds to put on people and make them scream and this was no exception. Great match.

JBL is already wanting Benoit to hurt MVP.

Regal comes into the back and Booker asks if he found Finlay. Regal explains his day and Booker doesn’t want to hear it. Booker breaking between his usual talk and his royal stuff is pretty awesome. Finlay pops up and says he’s here to fight and win the title, not lay down. Booker says oh yes you will and gets drilled.

We recap the world title match. Basically Booker is champion so here are three challenges to face him at once so we can validate his reign. All three challenges beat Booker up so he has NO CHANCE right? This match was made on Smackdown before the show I believe.

Lashley (no reaction) is getting taped up when Batista (POP) comes in. They imply they’ll fight if need be.

Smackdown World Title: Booker T vs. Lashley vs. Finlay vs. Batista

No tagging here. Cole talks about the numbers and JBL replies with this gem. JBL: “QUIT WITH THE MATH!!! I count money idiot!” Batista goes after Booker as Finlay throws Lashley to the floor. Finlay hooks up with Booker as Cole keeps talking about percentages. Lashley back in now and he throws Finlay to the floor. Batista is down in the corner. Spinebuster gets two on Booker.

Finlay pulls Lashley to the floor and a double teaming begins. Back in and the double team is on Batista until Finlay double crossed Booker. JBL freaking out is great but Cole is just awful at giving him stuff to play off. We’re down to Finlay vs. Booker with the pale one taking over. Lashley tries to get in but Finlay casually knocks him away. Booker is knocked to the floor so Finlay works on Big Dave’s arm.

Batista hits a Samoan Drop but Finlay hangs on. Cool. Lashley comes in but Finlay takes him down too. Cole calls Finlay Lashley because they look so much alike. Half crab to Lashley but Booker superkicks Finlay down for two. Booker takes Batista down with another sweet kick for two. Big Dave sideslams him down for two. Their one on one match is over as Lashley clotheslines Booker to the floor.

Finlay brings in a chair but Lashley kicks it away. Horny comes in to low blow Lashley and the club to the head gets two for Finlay as Booker saves. Everyone gets in for a bit and Batista hits a Jackhammer to take Finlay out so it’s face vs. face. Batista is like screw fighting and spears him down for two. Lashley comes back and somewhere (even Cole isn’t sure where) Batista gets his head busted open.

Batista gets thrown to the floor as does Finlay but Booker comes in with a Bookend for two. Just the two of them in the ring now and Bobby counters a suplex for two. Booker doesn’t know what to do here so he takes his hair down. Finlay breaks up the ax kick and gets two. Batista hits spinebusters on everyone and a Batista Bomb to Finlay. Lashley spears him for no apparent reason, allowing Booker to steal the pin on Finlay.

Rating: B-. Not bad here at all with the formula working pretty well. I like the four man matches much better than three man as you get more combinations out of it. Booker winning was obvious but it was still good enough at times. Finlay was really impressive here as he ran most of the match, which is what he’s great for.

Overall Rating: B. This was a very pleasant surprise. It’s not a great show or anything but if you had three hours to kill, you’d be pleased with this one. Nothing on it is must see or anything, but for a total throwaway PPV it wasn’t bad at all. It’s no classic or anything, but if you’ve got time and are curious, check this one out.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 22, 2008
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This was on my request list for some reason. I’ve done a few shows from around this time lately so maybe it has to do with that. This is a few weeks after Unforgiven so Jericho would be world champion at this point and feuding with Shawn. Other than that I don’t remember a thing about this time so it’ll be interesting to look at. Let’s get to it.

We open with the world title hanging above the ring and a ladder underneath it. Here’s Jericho to some LOUD pyro. Cole says this is the 800th episode. So that’s probably…..WAIT WHAT??? On November 3 of the same year, they would have a big 800th episode celebration with a three hour show. Can’t they even keep their continuity straight for six weeks??? I’m going to have to do every show in the history of Raw to get the right episodes aren’t I?

ANYWAY, Jericho sits on top of the ladder and talks about how Shawn has convinced Mike Adamle to make their match at No Mercy a ladder match. Shawn has claimed that he revolutionized the ladder match and the mindless sheep that the fans are believed him. Just because HBK says something, it doesn’t mean it’s true. Jericho on the other hand is an honest man. The truth is that he’s won three titles in a ladder match. He’s won more ladder matches than Shawn has ever appeared in.

Jericho says the last thing you’ll see at the PPV is this, and he pulls down the title. Shawn attacked him recently but he came back, because he’s just better than Shawn. Jericho keeps talking and is interrupted by….Randy Orton? Jericho starts to call himself champion but Orton cuts him off. He says that if not for him kicking Punk in the head, Jericho wouldn’t be champion. The ladder match doesn’t mean anything because whoever wins is living on borrowed time.

Jericho asks what’s stopping him from punching Orton right now. Punching Shawn’s wife was an accident but this would be on purpose. Randy is still injured here. Orton has spoken to Mike Adamle and anyone that hits him is suspended immediately. Jericho says get well soon and leaves. Orton says he’ll be champion again and throws the ladder out. Randy goes to leave and here’s Punk. Punk gets in his face and slaps him, causing Adamle to come down and suspend him indefinitely.

Now here’s Shane McMahon of all people to dance around on stage in white shoes. Now he dances in the ring a bit. He got a big pop so I can’t complain much here. Apparently he’s here to evaluate Adamle later on. Shane overrules Adamle’s suspension of Punk so Orton yells about that too. The suspension rule is still in effect, but it starts right now. Shane asks Orton to leave and makes Punk vs. Rhodes and Jericho/JBL vs. Batista/Shawn. Shane dances some more and it’s FINALLY over. This segment ran nearly 20 minutes which is WAY too long given what we got out of it.

Cody Rhodes vs. CM Punk

Feeling out process to start. It’s amazing how much bigger this would be in just a few years. Punk uses his strikes to take over, including a spinning elbow to the face. Cody sends him to the outside but Punk kicks him through the ropes. They brawl on the floor before heading back in with Cody hitting a top rope cross body, rolled through for two. Cody hits a few knees, including a big one in the corner for two.

Punk loads up the GTS but Cody escapes and bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cody working on the ankle/leg after crotching him during the break. It’s leg lock time as the match slows down. Punk counters that into an ankle lock of all things but Cody makes the rope. The running knee hits but the bulldog is countered of course. GTS gets the pin about a second later.

Rating: C. Not bad here but Cody didn’t mean a thing at this point so the match wasn’t going to be anything good. Punk was really just a glorified upper midcard guy at this point so this didn’t mean much of anything. Somehow Punk wouldn’t get the real revenge he was looking for until 2011.

DiBiase and Manu run in for the beatdown but Kofi makes the save. He and Punk would win the tag titles very soon.

Smackdown ReBound is about Kozlov attacking Jeff Hardy. He also beat up MVP and HHH.

Adamle complains to Shane about being embarrassed out there. Shane says Adamle is doing fine and that he shouldn’t be worried. Kane comes in and wants Mysterio, and he’ll get him at No Mercy apparently. Kane tells Shane to say hi to Linda for him. He leaves and Shane explains the history between himself and Kane.

A photographer is talking to Kelly when Beth and Santino come up. Santino has a facial injury and Kelly laughed last week, so it’s time for pain tonight. He makes fun of Batista who of course pops up behind him. An awkward staredown ensues.

Santino Marella vs. Deuce

We get the Honk-A-Meter prematch but Deuce cuts it off. This is non-title of course. Deuce goes after the injured face and drops a punch for two. Santino rolls him up for the pin out of nowhere. This was like a minute long.

Santino talks about how great Beth is post match.

Kane vs. Evan Bourne

Evan is an ECW guy at this point and is standing in for Mysterio who is still injured. Bourne fires off a kick to the ribs which gets him nowhere, followed by an enziguri to stagger the monster. A Kane powerbomb is countered and Bourne kicks some more. Bourne keeps trying to keep things moving but Kane gets in a single punch to stop the offense dead in its tracks. A big boot misses and Kane gets caught in the ropes. A moonsault to the floor puts Kane down again and the double knees get two. Kane gets in a single uppercut and begins the total destruction. HUGE chokeslam gets the pin.

Rating: C. This was a lot better than I was expecting from it. Bourne is a guy who is small enough to be able to make you feel sorry for him against a monster like this so the crowd was getting into it. On top of that it plays up the Kane vs. small guys feud which is what they’re going with despite it getting annoying. Fun match.

Rey comes out and gets beaten down as well.

Jamie Noble asks Shane for another match with Regal. Dolph Ziggler comes up and introduces himself and leaves. Orton comes up for another distraction and says overturning the suspension wasn’t cool. Shane says it’s cool and that Orton is getting off easily. Orton threatens him so Shane says he’s a fourth generation McMahon. That means something I guess.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Beth takes him into the corner but Kelly moves out of the way for some speedy gymnastics. Beth comes back with a Buckle Bomb and yells about Batista. Candace is watching in the back. Kelly comes back with a cross body out of the corner for two. Santino’s interference backfires and Kelly gets the rollup for the pin. This was when the Divas were only bad and not horrible yet.

They set to double team Kelly until Batista makes the save. Santino ACTUALLY HITS Batista. Guess how well that goes.

We recap the feud between the Dirt Sheet and Word Up, Cryme Tyme’s show. They had argued for awhile on their shows, resulting in an AWESOME rap video parody by Miz and Morrison. Dirt Sheet and Miz/Morrison were hilarious at this point.

John Morrison/The Miz vs. Cryme Tyme

JTG vs. Morrison to start things off. Miz cheats as is his nature but JTG comes back with a spinning clothesline for two. Shad comes in with a huge gorilla press to send Morrison to the floor. Shad throws JTG onto both of them and we take a break. Back with Morrison holding an armbar on JTG which is quickly broken. Off to Miz for more chinlockery as he prevents the hot tag. The tag goes through a few seconds later and Shad cleans house. Powerslam gets two on Miz. Delayed release gordbuster puts Miz down but Morrison kicks Shad in the head which lets Miz get the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t very good. The problem was that these two were better teams but for some reason neither were tag champions at this point. It’s not that the belts meant anything so it doesn’t really matter but it’s still a pretty stupid miss. Boring match here with the majority of it being spent in chinlocks.

Jericho tries to convince Adamle that Shane is manipulating him. Jericho has an idea but we don’t get to hear it.

We run down the No Mercy card.

Charlie Haas is at Dave and Busters to shill the Mr. Perfect DVD with an imitation. He does the sports bit that Perfect did which is kind of funny.

Shawn Michaels/Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Chris Jericho/Lance Cade

Jericho’s idea was to make it 3-2 and I guess it worked. Shawn and Cade start things off with Shawn destroying him. Cade reverses a whip and JBL adds a right hand to really give Lance an opening. Off to Jericho for a chinlock and an enziguri puts Shawn down. Off to JBL who hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. Back to Cade for more of a beating in the corner. Jericho chokes away as this has been one sided for the most part. Bradshaw comes in and they slug it out but JBL kicks him in the face to put him right back down.

It’s JBL vs. Batista at No Mercy if that clears anything up. Shawn jumps into the fallaway slam but he counters into a DDT to put both guys down. There’s the tag to Batista who cleans house. Spinebuster to Jericho and a powerslam sets up the Shawn elbow. Superkick is countered into a Walls attempt but Shawn rolls him up for two. Everything breaks down and Batista spears JBL outside. Lionsault misses and it’s off to Cade. Forearm puts him down but Jericho’s distraction lets him hit a sitout Rock Bottom to Shawn for the pin.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here that felt like it belonged at a house show. It wasn’t bad or anything but it just wasn’t interesting. There wasn’t much focus on the JBL vs. Batista match at all and Batista was only in the match for about a minute or so. Not bad, but just kind of there.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t a bad show but it was nothing interesting at all. Nothing really happened and while they pushed No Mercy, this isn’t a show that you would need to see to see No Mercy. Orton was in a weird place here where he was hurt, but it was clear they wanted him to be the #2 heel on the roster. That’s hard to do but they tried hard. It came off as forced though and it didn’t quite work. Pretty meh show.

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Armageddon 2008
Date: December 14, 2008
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker, Todd Grisham, Michael Cole, Taz

Well this is the final show of the series and thankfully we go out with a big old bang. The main events are Edge vs. HHH vs. Hardy for the Smackdown title and Jericho vs. Cena for the Red Show title. Also there’s Batista vs. Orton in the closest thing to a major match they ever had (not counting some random title matches). Let’s get to it.
In a not very interesting bit of trivia, the dark match for this show is the same match that was the dark match for the previous year’s Armageddon: Jesse and Festus vs. Miz/Morrison. The more famous team lost the first time and won this year.

It’s Armageddon and the same theme is used.

Matt Hardy vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Vlad was released on the day this was written. Matt is ECW Champion but this is non-title. Vlad has that rare thing called credibility here and is undefeated. The fans chant USA as is their custom because they’re anti-foreigner. Hardy starts off kind of well and is then thrown all over the place because Vlad is Russians and Russians are better fighters. He throws on a key lock and the fans cheer for Hardy.

Vlad shifts off to an armbar and pulls Matt off the mat (oh the irony) by his arm which looked REALLY freaking painful. Trapping headbutts keep Matt from getting any long term offense going. Vlad gets a DDT to either the head or the arm. It looked like a regular one but it seemed like Matt landed on his arm. Back to the keylock as this isn’t a very exciting match even though the fans are interested in it.

Matt manages to get up top and hit a top rope elbow to the head. Vlad gets tossed to the floor but Matt’s dive doesn’t work. He counters the counter though and Vlad tastes the steel. Not really but you get the idea. I doubt Vlad likes to lick posts but who knows, maybe he does. Matt goes up again but jumps into a punch for two. He goes into the corner for ten punches but gets dropped onto the post. The headbutt to the chest and a standing spinebuster end this.

Rating: C. Not a bad match but there’s something out of place about a Russian monster using arm holds for the majority of the match. Matt losing was expected because he’s Matt Hardy, but Vlad’s push more or less stopped soon after this, mainly due to an abysmal fan response at Cyber Sunday. Nothing great here but it was fine for what it was.

Edge, Vickie and Chavo are in the back. Edge leaves to get ready and Chavo asks Vickie how they got rid of Jeff that night in the hotel. Vickie doesn’t want to answer and sends Chavo for coffee.

Horny comes up to Eve and hits her with a rubber hammer. Finlay comes in to help her and Eve says it’s cool. Finlay tells his son not to come out for the match later because he might get hurt. Horny is sad.

Here’s William Regal with Layla to sit at ringside for the next match.

Intercontinental Championship Tournament Final: CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Why they call it that I have no idea because it’s for a shot at the title, held by Regal. Punk is introduced as half of the tag champions but he and Kofi lost the titles at a house show the previous night to Miz and Morrison. There’s a pre-match handshake and here we go. Mysterio might have a bad wrist but it isn’t taped. Jerry does his job and talks about how having an injury taped up is a bad idea at times.

Some lone fan tries to start a Miz and Morrison chant and the arena shouts him down. Pretty basic back and forth stuff to start but they’re speeding up. 619 is avoided but the GTS fails also. Rey is sent to the floor in front of Regal and Punk hits a big dive which gets two in the ring. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two. Rey tries to speed things up but is caught in the Tree of Woe and Punk fires off some kicks.

He avoids a charge though and hits a moonsault off the top for two. It might have hurt his already injured wrist though and Punk capitalizes it. Punk grabs a weird kind of crossface where he puts Rey’s arm behind Punk’s back and cranks back on it. Rey gets to the ropes and uses what appears to be La Mistica (Sin Cara’s move in Mexico) but Punk makes a rope as well.

A dropkick puts Punk on the floor and Rey hits a big dive off the top, putting both guys down. Back in a victory roll by Rey gets two but Punk counters into a rollup of his own for two. Pretty back and forth match so far with both guys mirroring each other. Punk hits a running bulldog for two. Regal is finally interested in the match while Layla holds the title up for him.

Punk puts Rey on the ropes but gets put in the 619 position. That misses again and Punk tries the GTS. Rey reverses that into a rana to put CM into 619 position. It finally connects but the splash misses. Crucifix gets two for Rey. Punk counters another rana attempt and hits the GTS out of mostly nowhere for the pin and the shot at Regal. Rey’s nose is busted.

Rating: B. Rather good match here and they were moving out there. The ending is kind of out of nowhere but the GTS looked good. Rey would get the title from JBL at Mania in like 30 seconds after JBL beat Punk for it who beat Regal for it like three weeks after this. Good match here though as is par for the course with these two.

Jeff talks about spending the last year to get ready for this moment. He’s been told he had to change to get what he wanted, but that’s because the people are afraid of him. Tonight he’ll prove everyone wrong and become WWE Champion.

We recap JBL and Shawn’s issues. The idea is that Shawn is broke due to the 2008 financial crash. He had to take a job with JBL as his servant basically and give up his pride. The problem with all this was simple: Shawn Michaels is a top level WWE Superstar. Are we supposed to believe he doesn’t make enough to pay his bills?

Here’s JBL who introduces Shawn as his new employee. He says that the financial issues have caught up with him and he’s invested his money in the stock market. See, that’s the thing: he got his money being a wrestler and he has the same job now. He’s still making checks now so why is this such a big issue?

It makes sense in theory but it always came off as a hole in the story to me. Shawn doesn’t like JBL but he’s not going to become one of those guys that you hear about who is a tragedy and going to a high school gym to wrestle for a quick payday. YOU WERE IN THE MATCH OF THE YEAR LAST YEAR AT WRESTLEMANIA. I THINK YOU HAVE SOME TIME LEFT. Anyway, Shawn shakes JBL’s hand and is all sad. He always will have a lifetime job looking for his smile.

Orton says…nothing because Cody and Manu interrupt. Cody says Orton was the star of Evolution and Manu says that Orton has been waiting to prove himself as the better man for years. I can see why Manu didn’t keep his job long. Everyone leaves after that in a weird moment.

Some Buffalo Bills are here.

Finlay vs. Mark Henry

This is a Belfast Brawl, which means street fight. Henry had tried to squash Horny but Finlay made the save for his son. Tony Atlas is with Henry. Striker says this has its roots in the streets of Belfast. There are wrestling rings in Belfast streets where you win fights by holding someone down for three seconds in front of 12,000 people? Henry sends him to the floor quickly but Finlay manages to send him into the announce table. Henry takes over and pounds away outside, ramming him into the railing.

No Hornswoggle out here as per his pop’s request. Back in the ring the splash misses and Finlay tries to get in some offense. The Irish dude pulls out some weapons, in the form of like three trashcans. The delay lets Henry get up and Finlay goes down fast. Henry hits that move that has no name where you jump on the guy’s head when he’s in the 619 position. He yells at Finlay, saying you wanted a fight and now you got one.

Finlay manages to fight back with a trashcan shot and another to put Henry down. He pounds away a bit and gets two. Henry takes over again and stands on Finlay’s chest but misses a Banzai Drop from the middle rope. Yokozuna he is not. There’s that Irish club that I can’t spell but Henry knocks it out of Finlay’s hand. Henry breaks the club easily and does the same to a kendo stick.

Bear hug goes on and here’s Horny. Henry casually throws him into Finlay’s balls from where he came. Or did Finlay come? Not sure actually. I guess Finlay had to so Horny could. And I guess Finlay had to be Horny to come so Horny could come. I love wordplay. Anyway Henry beats Finlay down and picks up the steps but Finlay dropkicks the knee to send Henry’s face into the steps. Horny slips him another stick (add that aspect to the aforementioned joke) and a shot to the head with that ends this.

Rating: C-. Eh nothing too horrible here. The weapons probably saved this as I don’t even want to imagine these two trying to have a regular match. Not a horrible match here and Horny helping to win is ok. I don’t mind him as a sidekick but being on the show week after week gets to be a bit much.

The Divas are decorating a tree and here’s Santa-Haas. They all get presents which were already in the room. Santino and Beth come in and show off Beth’s Diva of the Year Slammy. Santino tries to get a present out of the box but Boogeyman is inside. He runs for the door and there’s Goldust under some mistletoe. Boogey gives Goldust a present and then the two of them along with Santa, the Divas and the drugged out Festus sing We Wish You A Merry Christmas. It’s as weird as it sounds.

Kennedy says drink responsibly and don’t do drugs. However, do go get his new DVD, Behind Enemy Lines III.

We recap Batista vs. Orton. They were both in Evolution and this fight is basically to decide who was the better young and future star in the team. Both won world titles and then Orton went all heel and said he was better than everyone else. I don’t get why this is at Armageddon and not like at, Wrestlemania or something.

Batista vs. Randy Orton

Cody and Manu are with Orton. They fight over a lockup to start and there’s no real advantage yet. Orton takes him to the mat but that gets him nowhere at all. Batista goes to the floor and Rhodes gets involved for generally evil purposes. The two of them get thrown out quickly though so we get down to a regular match. Orton sends the shoulder into the post and works on the arm for the first real advantage.

They’re treating this like a clash of the titans which it really is. There’s an RKO chant also. Batista snaps and tries a Batista Bomb early but Randy escapes into a neckbreaker for two. Batista tosses him to the floor and Orton may have reinjured his shoulder which was hurt earlier in the year. Back in Orton manages to get the elevated DDT for two. This is when the move made sense as the rope is under Big Dave’s knees instead of his ankles, making it a bit harder to escape.

Since we were getting close to something interesting out of Orton, it’s the Orton Stomp to the rescue! When you steal moves from Ronnie Garvin, you’re not in a good place. Batista goes to the floor as the pace of the match has gone down into negative gears. Orton throws on a chinlock which is broken rather quickly. He’s working on the neck so we hit the chinlock again.

The fans aren’t sure if they want to chant boring or not. Big Dave gets underneaath the chinlock and drops back with the weight crashing down onto Randy. Batista wins a slugout but Orton uses the lethal art of kicking your feet to escape a powerslam. They go outside again which doesn’t amount to much. A superplex by Orton gets two.

Spinebuster gets two out of nowhere for Batista. He’s too spent to follow up immediately and the Batista Bomb is delayed. Orton gets the backbreaker for two. RKO is blocked and Batista gets a slam for two. The Animal (just a generic animal, not the Viper) is getting frustrated. Another Bomb attempt is countered and Randy gets a DDT for two. The Punt is countered by Batista putting him in the corner and ramming in shoulders and then ten punches. Orton tries to counter into something but winds up in the position for the Batista Bomb and we’re done.

Rating: B-. Well the second half was better but at the same time the first half was really boring. Orton got A LOT better over the last year or so and was just dull beyond belief as a heel in 2008. A lot of this match was weak but they turned it around and got something close to a big match going. The pacing was off too though and it looked like they kept wanting to get going but it never clicked.

Recap of the Slammys from Raw on Monday. This is mainly done to set up some more of Cena vs. Jericho. They’re fighting for the Raw World Title later. Jeff Hardy, Edge and HHH got involved somehow too.

Maria/Mickie James/Kelly Kelly/Michelle McCool vs. Maryse/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Natalya

Santa’s Little Helper’s match here. The heels are in green and are elves I guess. Maria’s song is really catchy. I miss Michelle. Mickie vs. Maryse starts us off. Mickie keeps going after her and Maryse tries to pose. Off to Mickie vs. Natalya in the real fight here. Nattie is pretty new at this point. Kelly is Jewish and Striker calls her the Hot Hebrew. That sounds like a really bad coffee shop. The announcers are having a fun time with this. The match is totally pointless of course and it’s off to Maria. Somehow she gets compared to John Berzerker Nord. Everything breaks down and Michelle hits the Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) to end Maryse.

Rating: C+. Don’t bother trying to figure out if the rating is good because it isn’t, but there was a weird energy for this one and I had fun with it. Also Michelle in shorts and Maria with her energetic perkiness are never bad things. The girls looks hot and everyone was having fun in a nice breath of air before the main events. What more can you ask for?

Khali comes out for the Kiss Cam with the Divas in the ring still. Michelle runs away with her Divas Title. Instead he’s going to kiss the other three. This doesn’t work either so Runjin Singh says that it’s because he’s too much man for them. Singh has a backup plan in the form of Mae Young. This is one of those things you classify as all in good fun. Yes it’s stupid, but I like it for some weird reason. The announcers are cracking up over Lawler’s one liners.

Preview of Prince of Persia, which is the game sponsoring the show.

We recap Jericho vs. Cena which is a rematch from Survivor Series where Cena came back to beat Jericho for the title after being gone for like three months. Jericho never beat Cena for the most part so what do you think is happening here? Oh and Jericho is the Superstar of the Year, which he probably deserved. The rest of the video is a long beatdown of Cena by Jericho with help from Legacy.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Crowd is mostly pro Cena, I’d say 75-80%. Jericho outsmarts him to start and stomps away on the back and the neck. Cena is like screw this and spears him down to hammer away. Jericho fights out and throws on a sleeper. Cena might go to sleep faster if Jericho wasn’t calling spot to him. Dueling chants already but the better one is for Jericho.

Cena reverses into an attempted FU but that gets countered into a DDT. Cena rolls to the floor and Jericho gets caught in another FU attempt but he counters THAT into a bulldog off the apron and onto the steps. Cool sequence there. Jericho stays on the neck which is good psychology from a master of it. Cena counters into his finishing sequence but it’s WAY too early for that.

Jericho manages another counter to the FU, this time into the Walls. Scratch that as it’s more like a door frame which is reversed by Cena anyway. Missile dropkick from the middle rope gets two. Nice fast paced match here so far. Throwback is blocked and Jericho hits the Lionsault for two. We go up top and Cena blocks a superplex and hits the top rope Fameasser for a delayed cover.

The ninth or so FU attempt is countered as Jericho lands on his feet and the Codebreaker gets two. Jericho charges at Cena again and this time gets caught in the FU. It only gets two and both guys are down. Jericho pulls a Bret and plays possum into a small package for two. Cena grabs the STFU but Jericho counters into the Walls. He manages to crawl through Chris’ legs and grabs the STFU for a relatively quick tap out.

Rating: B+. I liked this one as they had both guys moving out there the entire time and constantly countering the finishers. Cena tried the FU about 10 times but he kept hammering away until Jericho ran out of counters and got frustrated, resulting in his downfall. Nice story being told and great execution of it. What more can you ask for from a match like this?

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. Someone jumped Hardy to keep him out of the triple threat match at Survivor Series. Edge returned and stole the title from HHH. The attack on Hardy was called the most disgusting thing of the year for some reason because it implied Jeff was on drugs or something, despite that never being mentioned ever. Oh well I guess.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. HHH vs. Jeff Hardy

Solid heat on Edge and a solid gut also. Jeff goes straight for Edge as JR can’t remember if Jeff got attacked in Baltimore or Boston. Basic opening so far with Jeff driving the action. He sends Edge and HHH to the floor and dives on the Canadian. Trips takes his head off though so it’s Edge vs. HHH in the ring now. How was that never the main event of a bigger show than Great American Bash?

Jumping knee to the face puts Edge down as does a neckbreaker. Edge’s bad luck continues as he gets caught in a facebuster. Jeff back in now and he gets a facebuster for Christmas also. HHH tries the Pedigree to Edge but Jeff takes them both out with a Whisper in the Wind. The Game is down and Jeff gets crotched on the top. HHH comes in to get Edge and it’s a Doomsday Device with Jeff hitting a Whisper in the Wind instead of a clothesline. Edge’s bump is SCARY here as he lands on the back of his head.

Pedigree to Jeff is countered again and he goes into the buckle. Slingshot dropkick hits HHH but the Edge-O-Matic takes Jeff down for two. HHH’s bad luck continues in the form of a spear. Twist of Fate and Swanton hit HHH but Edge makes a last second save. Everybody goes to the floor and HHH is mostly dead.

Edge gets whipped around a lot and Jeff loads up the announce table. HHH pops up again and sends Edge onto the table but not through it. Jeff escapes a Pedigree and gets killed with a spear through the third table. Edge vs. HHH in the ring with the Canadian hitting an Edgecution for no cover. Spear is countered into the spinebuster and there’s the Pedigree.

Kozlov of all people pops up and breaks up the pin before beating on HHH. Matt Hardy comes out to get rid of Kozlov. Jeff goes up but Kozlov shoves him away before the Swanton can hit. Matt and Vlad go up the aisle and only Edge is in the ring. HHH comes back in but walks into a spear for two. A frustrated Edge goes to the floor and sets for a Conchairto.

Jeff grabs a chair and BLASTS Edge with it. He wants the Swanton but HHH crotches him. That was a sick, sick chair shot and it was only with one hand. HHH grabs the Pedigree in the corner but Jeff dives off the top with the Swanton to HHH and covers Edge for the pin and his first world title. The roof blows off the place and with good reason. The LD exploded and I did too, since I slept through the original broadcast of this and the first thing I saw was Jeff diving onto HHH.

Rating: B. Solid match all around here but the point here was for the ending. That Swanton and the reaction from the crowd was excellent. The whole thing worked perfectly and the match was good. Not sure why they had Kozlov and Matt in there but it wasn’t a big issue. The right man won here and that’s all that matters.

The last five minutes of this are spent on a huge celebration by Jeff. Totally awesome moment for one simple reason: this has been a year in the making and Jeff felt like he finally earned it. This could have been in the main event of Wrestlemania but the shock of it was a great bonus perk. I’m not a Hardy fan but this is still awesome on every possible level.

Jeff’s celebrating on top of the set ends the show.

Overall Rating: A. I really liked this show. The whole thing worked incredibly well and there isn’t a bad match to be found. You get an historical moment in the title change at the end, another good match in cena vs. Jericho, a big match in Orton vs. Batista and hot women in Santa outfits. What more can you really ask for from a show? I had a really good time with this and it’s worth seeing.

Armageddon is now done, leaving us with Unforgiven, Great American Bash, No Mercy and Backlash. This was a surprisingly good series with some bad shows but when it was good, it was REALLY good. The final one is probably the best or maybe 2005. Either way some of them are worth seeing but on the other hand some aren’t worth seeing at all. Translation: it’s just like every other PPV series.

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Wrestlemania 26
Date: March 29, 2010
Location: University of Phoenix Stadium, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 72,219
Commentators: Matt Striker, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
America The Beautiful: Fantasia

Well, here we are. This has been one of the best hyped Manias in a LONG time and I could not wait for what was coming. Seriously, the card looked perfect and just about everyone that mattered was on it. The two biggest stars are fighting for the WWE Title. The Royal Rumble winner is fighting his former partner who turned on him.

Two legends are fighting in a career vs. streak match. This is old school booking at its finest and it’s worked like a charm. Pay attention Vince: keep things simple. Oh and Bret Hart and Vince are going to FINALLY end the Montreal Screwjob after over 12 years. Nothing major though. Let’s get to it.

Fantasia CANNOT SING. It sounds like an elephant stomping on my mother. The opening video is about everyone wanting to have their Wrestlemania moment. That’s the big thing indeed and that’s what it should be about. This is without a doubt the biggest night of the year and as JBL puts it the lights are on bright and everything is right here. That’s what Wrestlemania is all about: everyone wanting to steal the show.

It’s a beautiful thing and when it hits, there is nothing close to it in wrestling. They kind of run down the card without mentioning anything by name. This is really well done. That song I Made It is growing on me rapidly. It makes sense if nothing else so that’s all you need at times. Apparently this place is called the Toaster. Sure why not?

Unified Tag Titles: John Morrison/R-Truth vs. Big Show/Miz

Sweet GOODNESS there are some pretty ladies there. As X said, where are they the rest of the time? Yes, the pyro is cool in slow motion. Dang Miz’s theme music is awesome. Don’t expect a ton of criticism on this show as I thought it was awesome. The jacket on Miz…might be cool. I’m not sure though. I’d love to be the costume master for a company like this. It’s just awesome to get to pick the tights etc for these guys.

Imagine the memories of all of those various props and clothes in there. The ramp is really long so I have time to fill in here. We have a Spanish announce team. That and King being in a tux are nice things to get thrown out once in awhile. Now if only we had some John Wayne cufflinks. The arena looks awesome by the way. Apparently we’re in Romania for the first time ever tonight. Good show to start with I guess. Miz and Morrison start us off.

Morrison does that breakdancing legdrop of his. He’s athletic if nothing else. Show goes for maybe a Vader Bomb but Morrison kicks him in the head. This nearly kills Truth as Show falls backwards. Whose side is Morrison on here? Starship Pain misses. Show catches Truth’s plancha. That’s freaking insane. I mean Truth is a grown man and was coming down at Show. He just caught him. That’s insane. And Morrison goes for a springboard move and gets punched for the pin. What the heck was that?

Rating: D. This felt like about 4 minutes were edited out or something. It came from nowhere and just felt awkward. To be fair though, no one cared about this and it was just a way to get the tag titles on the show. Also, they knew this would be forgotten by the end of the show so why not just get it out of the way?

We recap the events of Mania week and it looks awesome. There was a golf tournament, an art show, and of course Axxess. Good night it looks awesome. Oh and there was a reading challenge too. Can’t beat that.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

Remember, this is NOT a handicap match. DiBiase has the look far more than Rhodes does and it’s not even close. That could be due to the white boots he’s wearing that make him look like a freaking moron but that could just be me. Orton is WAY over. Thankfully the next night on Raw Vince got the hint and did the full face turn that he had been dying for the past few months. Remember, this is NOT a handicap match.

Everyone throws dropkicks to start. If nothing else Rhodes is cool for the Triforce. Legacy beats up Orton and you know what’s coming. Hey, did you know there are over 70,000 people there? We’re 20 minutes in and we’ve only mentioned that 8 times or so. Didn’t know if it was clear or not. Orton gets a few punches in and the place POPS. They try a leg sweep/clothesline combo but Rhodes completely misses his leg sweep.

Make that a chopblock as I forgot my move names there for a bit. Legacy EXPLODES! Rhodes channels his former jerk…I mean partner, Hardcore Holly, with an Alabama Slam. While DiBiase throws some bad punches at Rhodes, Orton gets up. In the coolest spot of the first hour or so, Orton hits the double DDT on Legacy. That was awesome, of which both members of Legacy have decent looking ones. Orton humps the mat as usual, waiting on Rhodes to get up.

No RKO though as Orton channels his inner Ray Guy (He’s a punter in the Hall of Fame. How weird does that sound?) and Rhodes is out for good. DiBiase goes for Dream Street but Orton gets a sweet little counter into the RKO and the POP! The fans love this guy to say the least. And we get the sweet pose. Love that thing.

Rating: D+. Not much here, but at the same time they did the right thing. Orton needed to beat these two to put them behind him and move on to a feud with a heel. The RKO got a pop so that’s all that matters. This was exactly what it was supposed to be. Oh and to all you morons that say one of Legacy should have gone over, you’re an idiot.

Don’t try this at home. I mean it. Do it at school or at your aunt’s house. Just DO NOT TO IT AT HOME!

Vickie and her heel Divas talk about their match. I don’t pay attention because Michelle looks good. Jillian comes in to sing and Santino shows up. He bites a Slim Jim and Jillian becomes Mae Young who of course kisses him. Another bite and it’s Mean Gene. Ok that makes things better. One more bite and it’s Melina. Dang that hair is hot.

Money in the Bank

Kofi is out first and is more or less the weakest of the three favorites. His hair looks like a buffalo came in it. He’s wearing white trunks here for some reason. He’s only been qualified for 6 days at this point. MVP is in second. No one cares. At least he’s not in red anymore. Bourne is third so we have our high flier. Three Raw guys so far. Fourth is Swagger to a nice reaction. He debuts the Angle look here and those pushups…don’t appear here.

That sucks because they rock. Shelton is 5th and he belong here. Matt gets a nice pop. Ziggler is in next and I legit forgot he both existed and was in this match. McIntyre, one of the other favorites, has the majority of his entrance cut which sucks. He’s IC Champion here in case you forgot. Kane….you need a better push. Yes I know that’s one of the biggest debates here. Get over it. He has a big black eye which might be from Shawn on Monday.

Christian gets a decent pop as the odds on favorite. There are a ton of ladders and there we go. Drew goes for it maybe 30 seconds in so of course it doesn’t work. In a cool sequence, everyone goes up but everyone else pulls them down. Bourne touches the case and FTS wants to cry. Swagger is in front of the turnbuckle, Matt is in front of him, a ladder is in front of them, Kofi is thrown into the ladder.

That…wouldn’t hurt as much as it would seem to. Ziggler almost gets there but we remember he’s Dolph Ziggler so we know it’s not ending yet. Kane powerbombs Kofi onto a ladder. Freaking OW. I’m not sure if I like the ten men or not. On one hand, it keeps things from being all boring and whatnot as you have someone getting hurt and then others coming back and then repeat. On the other hand, yeah right. Striker says some people think Swagger can carry the WWE. HA!

In a cool spot (shocking I know) there’s a ladder in the ring and Swagger is under it. Matt and Christian have a ladder each and ram it through the rungs to spear Swagger with it. I like that. Bourne and Christian fight on the ladder that’s bridged between the rope and the ladder in the middle like a scaffold. Bourne knocks Christian down and like an IDIOT hits a shooting star press onto Christian. Yeah he deserves to get beaten here.

Matt takes a front flip onto the scaffold ladder. Yeah he’s broken SMACK DAB IN HALF! Sorry the Oklahoma guy got me there for a minute. Naturally this is a spotfest, but what did you really expect? Kane gets a BIG pop when he makes a save. He throws a ladder at Ziggler which is very cool looking. Dolph gets put between a ladder and gets worn out with it. Yep it’s broken. Trouble in Paradise puts Kane down.

In a BRILLIANT spot, Kofi takes the two pieces of the ladder and walks from the corner to the middle using them as stilts. That’s AWESOME. That is why these matches stay awesome: making new spots like that. Drew makes the save but Matt stops him. I would have bet on that being the ending. Matt stays up there FOREVER but can’t get the stupid thing off. That’s just idiotic but whatever. Seriously, he has like 5 chances to get it and doesn’t do it.

Matt: YOU ARE A FREAKING IDIOT! Christian takes him down with the reverse DDT so Cole says it was a Twist of Fate. Yeah, the hint would be that Christian is ok. Swagger is back now and it’s him vs. Christian.

Swagger puts Christian down…and fiddles with the case…and fiddles with it…and writes the great American novel…and WINS THE FREAKING THING. THAT is your Mania shocker right there. No one, and I mean NO ONE saw this one coming. Match felt short, which you’ll hear a lot more tonight. Had to pause there. Norcal’s explosion is still giving us tremors.

Rating: B. This would start at a B in case you were wondering. These matches are ones that you can’t grade like a normal match based on the amount of people and the gimmick involved in them. While not as good as some of the others, the idea is cool.

Naturally WWE is going to have a PPV about it instead of letting it be a Mania exclusive but that’s their idiocy for you. Swagger winning is a legit shock though so I can complain about that one at all. Solid stuff though but I could have gone for more people in the ring at once and more spots.

Ad for Extreme Rules.

Hall of Fame time, and for once the class is AWESOME. When Mad Dog Vachon is the worst wrestler and smallest star, that’s saying A LOT. Gorgeous George’s wife is awesome. I want to see Uecker’s speech. That could be hilarious. Ted DiBiase is the best heel of all time. End of argument. Yes that includes Hogan and Flair. That laugh is just amazing.

FINK!!! He brings out the Class of 2010. The entire Hart Family represents Stu. I want to punch Bruce in the face.

We recap HHH vs. Sheamus. This was almost the world title match but they woke up and realized it should be a regular match which I can more than live with. Apparently Sheamus is jealous of HHH. That makes sense. I’d be jealous of his wife if nothing else. HHH eliminated him at Elimination Chamber to really set this up. We get Ultimate Warrior clips. That’s saying a lot.

Sheamus vs. HHH

The view from the top of the stadium with the tiny ring in there is awesome looking. They say no one has had a first year in WWE like Sheamis has. That’s true. When Lesnar did three times what Sheamus did in one year, it was WWF still. HHH gets a nice pop but it doesn’t hold up that long. Ok I’m wrong on that one. HHH has made Wrestlemania? Not sure on that one. HHH looks a tad chubby here. Maybe that’s just me. Ok the entrance is still cool.

He looks like a huge star and he’s supposed to. Talk about a contrast of skin tones here. HHH goes for a Pedigree about a minute in. That’s credited to Mania experience. Uh, why? Isn’t that called going for a finisher early? I’d want to do that in any match. Since HHH got big in the Attitude Era, we hit the floor. The figure four goes on and Flair is reference. Does that make AJ and HHH some kind of brothers? Ok, we get it: HHH is a veteran.

Oh and he’s the Ace of Spades now. What the heck does that even mean? Sheamus likes to yell when he kicks people. It’s rather annoying. Stop it. DO YOU HEAR ME YOU MILKY SKINNED IMBECILE??? Hey that actually worked. He channels his inner British Bulldog and hits a running powerslam. Nothing wrong with that. HHH breaks the momentum with a DDT. That might not work due to that hair though.

Striker: Tie your mother down, here comes HHH. So Striker has random shouts of incestuous bondage. Right. We get a nice finisher reversal sequence that ends with Sheamus hitting the bicycle kick. He gets another after HHH kicks out but both guys are down. Doesn’t that suck? HHH falls on his face and Striker says it’s experience. Lawler has some sense and says it might have been dumb luck. Thank you Lawler. And there’s a Pedigree from nowhere for the pin. Ok then.

Rating: B-. This was pretty solid I thought. It came off like a main event level match and that’s what it was supposed to do. Also, there was a big thing here about how Sheamus should have won. Ok, that’s freaking stupid. HHH is a bigger star and at the big shows, the bigger stars are supposed to win.

This guy debuted a year ago and he’s wrestling a 12 time world champion at Mania. What more do you want? It’s his best match ever by about a mile also, so this worked out fine. Good match, but not a classic like Lawler claims it is.

Slim Jim Ad. OH YEAH!

We recap Rey vs. Punk. This was a cool buildup I thought but it could have been a bit more. Rey sang Happy Birthday to his daughter and Punk interrupted him. Rey cost Punk his spot in MITB. Rey’s son Dominic is taller than he is. That’s the same kid from 05 in the Eddie feud. That’s just amusing.

Rey Mysterio vs. C.M. Punk

Oh sweet Punk has a mic. Punk needs to actually win a match once in awhile to make this gimmick work perfectly though. These promos get better every single time. Rey is dressed like a character from Avatar tonight. Oh just take me now. It can’t get stupider than this. It just can’t. Yep, Rey looks like a freaking moron dressed like that. He truly does. Gallows interferes early and it’s Punk in control. Straightedge prevails again!

Punk’s tights make me think of GI Joe for some reason. Aren’t the Na’vi really tall? See, the costume makes no sense. Punk gets a SICK kick to the side of Rey’s stupid looking head. We get a CM Punk (sucks) chant going and Rey kind of botches a backflip off the top rope into a DDT. It was close though. And Rey manages to tick me off again by doing the Eddie dance before throwing out a Frog Splash. HE IS DEAD. LET IT GO. I freaking hate the 619.

After some botched heel interference, the springboard splash ends this, saving him from joining the Straightedge Society and gaining him…nothing at all. Ok then. Not agreeing with the ending here, but it could be ok I guess. Oh and Cole says you never mess with another man’s family. I don’t see why not. Eddie did it and he gets a dozen tributes a year.

Rating: B-. Pretty good stuff here I thought. These two have decent chemistry together, but like I said I would have preferred Punk to win for a few reasons. If nothing else this could continue though so that’s a perk. Pretty solid stuff here overall.

We recap Bret vs. Vince. No way am I recapping this. If you don’t know this story by now, why are you here? The image of Vince in Bret’s sunglasses is cool.

Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon

Man that is weird to type. Bret is in street clothes here. That’s the right thing to go with I think, as if nothing else he’s likely not in the shape he was before so why embarrass yourself? Are you listening Flair? Vince comes out and says that he has insurance for this match and it’s going to be a lumberjack match. And of course they’re the Hart Family. Bruce is a douche, period.

When they came out, it couldn’t have been much more obvious what was coming. Oh great Bruce is the referee. And of course the Harts turn on Vince before the match starts. Bret’s first punch gets a pop. Bruce, ever the douche, counts when Vince is on the floor in a match with no countouts. Vince is on the floor and the whole family beats him up including a Hart Attack from the top via the Hart Dynasty. Vince hasn’t landed a single shot.

He does however find a tire iron under the ring. Bret gets about 10 shots in with the tire iron over a few minutes. He goes for the legs and the fans go nuts. Nope not yet. Nice tease there though. He sets for it again but it’s a low blow instead. Good to see some old Bret stuff in there. David slides in a chair…which Bret sits down in. Ok this is a bit awkward. Also it’s amusing that Lawler is behind Bret here when he used to HATE Bret.

SWEET chair shot from Bret. He goes OFF on him with it for a total of TWENTY chairshots, breaking Austin’s record of shots to Rock at X7. And then he puts on the Sharpshooter and kills the Montreal Screwjob forever. Vince literally did not hit anything, not even a punch.

Rating: A+. Now before X jumps down my throat for this, you have to consider what this was about. This wasn’t about a competitive match or storytelling or anything like that. This was about Bret getting revenge on Vince. Vince never should have gotten anything in here and literally he didn’t.

Bret completely destroyed him for ten minutes and then the match ended with Vince giving up to the Sharpshooter. That is all you could have wanted out of this and the most infamous moment in wrestling history can be laid to rest. That alone makes this perfect.

Now can we make Bruce Hart fall into a hole?

Mania 27 will be in Atlanta.

The attendance is announced. That’s always cool. Of course we launch fireworks that few in the arena can see. Ok then.

We recap Edge vs. Jericho, which is a simple revenge story. This year they kept things simple and it worked very well. Jericho was showing some emotion here and it worked very well. Oh and spear, spear, SPEAR!

Smackdown World Title: Chris Jericho vs. Edge

This should be good from an in ring perspective if nothing else. Edge looks to have lost a bit of weight. They start by feeling each other out as you would expect I would assume. It is a bit odd that they try to make their tag title reign sound important when they were together what, maybe a month? Jericho and Edge trained together? I don’t remember that. Jericho is controlling which is what you would expect. Oddly there was no control period by Edge. That’s most odd.

Hey, did you know Jericho beat Austin and Rock in the same night? Edge hits a nice running clothesline from the apron to the floor. It’s the simple moves that work the best sometimes. Edge hits a sunset flip from the middle rope. Ok then. Codebreaker is blocked. Pretty good match so far. Edge, complete with the great looking eyes, goes for a spear but in a SWANK counter, Jericho jumps over and more or less gets a schoolboy into the Walls.

Since Edge is a face though he doesn’t tap. Has that ever beaten a prominent face? The Edgecution hits but of course it’s not called that anymore because the announcers suck. They point out that Jericho never gets hurt. That’s very true actually. Jericho goes for a spear but winds up hitting the Codebreaker for two. Jericho goes for the ankle which makes sense. As someone with very bad ankle problems, it really is smart to go after them if you’re fighting someone.

Walls go on again but Jericho switches to a half crab. Well he did train with Lance Storm. The crowd is having fun with this. He gets to the ropes in case you were wondering. Jericho goes for the belt but that doesn’t work. Ok never mind it does since the referee goes down. A really bad Codebreaker gets the clean pin.

I would not have seen that one coming at all. Post match, Edge gets him on one of the tables and after a running start, spears the living tar out of Jericho into a barrier which clearly will be an injury spot.

Rating: A-. That’s likely too high but I really liked this match. It was entertaining the whole time through but it needed a few more minutes. I really like the surprise ending where Edge loses when he was more or less seen as a lock. That’s risky booking but here I think it came off very well. Very good match and definitely the best of the night so far.

We talk about the battle royal before Mania which Tatsu won. Good for him.

Face Divas vs. Heel Divas

Seriously do the rosters matter here? It’s 5 on 5. That’s all you need to know. Vickie is one of the heels so of course she’ll be the focus of the whole match. Beth looks great in white. That is all. So everyone beats up Vickie until Michelle makes a save. They alternate back and forth with everyone coming in and hitting someone with a finisher until we’re left with Beth and Vickie. Michelle puts Beth down and Vickie hits a “Hog Splash” on Kelly for the win. She managed to botch a cover. That’s hard to do. This was like 3 minutes long.

Rating: F. Seriously, what the heck was this? Eddie, I never thought you were anywhere near what people made you out to be, but you deserve better than this.

Time for Cena vs. Batista. I know you know the story so I’ll spare you the details. The crowd exploded for the graphic coming onscreen.

WWE Championship: John Cena vs. Batista

Love them or hate them, this is THE money match right here. Period and end of story. There is no other combination that is a selling point like this is right here. This is what Mania is supposed to be about: the biggest stars in the world squaring off for the world championship. I’ve loved the buildup for this and it was what I was looking forward to more than anything. Oh and Cena’s thing this year is a group of Air Force drill people spinning rifles until Cena runs through them.

Far better than last year if nothing else. We start with the feeling out period as the announcers argue over who is stronger. That’s an interesting argument actually. The idea is Cena’s neck injury from about a year and a half ago is still bothering him. Sure why not? Batista counters the FU into a DDT that was PAINFUL looking. Apparently if your opponent’s arms and legs go limp, he’s in trouble. Ladies and gentlemen, the insights of Matt Striker!

If your opponent is losing the ability to support their own weight, THEY COULD BE IN TROUBLE! And the fans have already turned on Cena with the Boo/Yay thing. And then there’s a very face pop for the Five Knuckle Shuffle which is countered into a spinebuster. You would think there would be a shift to booing there but not really. STFU is hooked and we’ve cranked it into a higher gear. In a cool spot, we hit a test of strength on the top rope. That’s new if nothing else.

Five Knuckle Shuffle from the top as he channels his inner Jannetty. Yes, a Marty Jannetty move landed in a Mania main event. Batista Bomb gets two and a mouth from Batista that could swallow Molly Holly’s head. Jannetty and Molly Holly got mentioned in this match. Wow. Cena gets a SWEET counter into the FU out of a reversed Batista Bomb. He rolled from slipping over the shoulders to what looked like a tombstone to the FU.

Amazing and he threw Batista about a mile but it only got two. In almost the same spot that his neck got hurt in, Batista catches Cena in a spinebuster from the top. ANOTHER Batista Bomb is countered into the STFU for the tap. It looked like a weak version but the shot of Batista’s leg made up for it. Cena being named a 9 time champion just makes it seem a bit weak though as it always does.

Post match, Cena celebrates with the crowd and we see a guy saying Cena sucks and Cena acknowledges him. That right there is something I freaking LOVE about Cena. Guys like Hogan got a mixed reaction like that and acted like they were still the most over thing ever. I’ve always hated that as it’s just idiotic.

It’s like when WCW said there isn’t a seat to be found as we scan over the crowd seeing all the tarped off areas and empty seats. Cena talks about the booing. It makes him seem more down to Earth which I like for a change.

Rating: A. Sweet match here as these two continue to be the Austin/Rock of their generation. Like I said this is the money match of this generation. The chemistry here is undeniable as Cena is one of the few guys that brings out the best in Batista. This is what a Wrestlemania main event match should be about and it delivered in a big way.

Another Extreme Rules ad.

And now, it is time. This had to be the last match, period. Flair vs. Shawn should have been as well but that’s another story. I’m again not bothering to explain this one as it’s Career vs. Streak. End of explanation. They call it the most anticipated match in Mania history. Not sure on that one.

The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Well here we go. This is one of two matches this show was sold on so you know it’s going to be good considering who’s in it. This many years after he debuted, Taker’s entrance is still awesome. Taker is rocking something that makes him look a bit like a boxer which works. We hit the staredown and Shawn does Taker’s throat slit. Keep that in mind. Taker dominates early, hitting Snake Eyes and Old School in the first minute or so.

He tweeks his knee on Old School though and Shawn goes for it. Old guys know psychology. Shawn goes for the arm which makes sense as it takes away the Tombstone and Last Ride. Oh and remember there are no count outs or DQs. Both finishers miss and the crowd is liking this a lot. And now back to the knee. The arm work was brief so that’s fine. Taker teases the rope dive but Shawn slides in and takes out the knee again. Good after what happened with that move last year.

Shawn busts out a figure four and much like Flair, PUTS IT ON THE WRONG LEG. The straight leg gets hurt. How hard is that to get? Nip Up is caught in a chokeslam. I like how he just launches him with those at times. An ankle lock is on as Shawn is fine maybe 8 seconds later. He gets the heel hook out of it and Taker is in trouble. He gets out though because Shawn isn’t an American hero. Shawn gets tombstoned on the floor. Ok then.

Shawn is dead apparently. Someone comes out to check on him and of course the match keeps going. Striker, CALM DOWN! The Last Ride hits but Shawn kind of counters into an X Factor so the impact is lessened. I can forgive him for being up quickly for that. Shawn gets out of Hell’s Gate with a nifty counter where he jumps over into a rollup. That was ni…SWEET CHIN MUSIC! Of course it gets two but that came from nowhere. The camera missed most of it.

I love stuff like that as it makes things feel more shocking. Taker blocks another kick and hits the biggest Last Ride ever for two. Shawn was at least 11 feet in the air. Awesome looking. Taker looks furious.

And now, we go to the floor. This might not end well. Why do they take such care of the monitors? I’ve never gotten that. And I mean in kayfabe before you freak out on me. Taker goes for a Last Ride through the table but Shawn counters and hits Sweet Chin Music to put Taker on it. He slowly climbs up to the top rope and launches a picture perfect moonsault.

Now if only he had hit Taker’s chest and not his leg. I legit thought his leg was seriously hurt for a bit until he got up on it a bit later. Back in the ring Shawn hits the THIRD superkick and IT gets two. This isn’t quite last year’s match but it’s VERY close. Another kick is blocked into a chokeslam but his knee is out. Tombstone also gets two and the crowd is losing it over these twos. Taker is TICKED. There go the straps. Shawn hasn’t moved yet.

Taker starts the throat slit but can’t finish it. Just like he did for Jeff Hardy, he can’t bring himself to hurt him anymore. After he shouts at Shawn to stay down, Shawn does his own throat slit, admitting he just can’t do it. He then does the unthinkable and slaps Taker. This was four days ago and 3000 miles from me and the look on Taker’s face scared the heck out of me. Taker is livid and picks up Michaels for a JUMPING TOMBSTONE.

Shawn is of course legally dead now and the career ends. No music plays at first, which is a very nice touch. The crowd isn’t sure what to do. I collapsed when he got the pin on my first viewing and it’s still a tiring match to watch. Taker staggers up and does his pose as 18-0 flashes up on the screen.

That, to say the least, is mind blowing. More on that later. Taker gets him to his feet and they shake hands like they should do. It’s Shawn’s moment as Mr. Wrestlemania gets a standing ovation. He walks up the ramp, and Jerry Lawler puts is perfectly: Shawn, it’s over. Good-bye. Thank you.

Rating: A+. It’s not as good as last year’s was, but this was an epic match to say the least. We knew who was going to win, but that’s ok here to me. The ending was perfect as Shawn gave up and was defiant until the end. If someone is going to end it, Taker is a fine choice and the angle was perfect.

It’s a very emotional match, but that takes nothing away from the quality of it. The best word I can think of for this is satisfying. Everything you could want is in here and it’s a fitting end to the show. Shawn, I was never a big fan of your’s, but your career was remarkable to put it as low as I can. I’ll miss you.

Overall Rating: A. GREAT Mania. Nothing at all feels slow on here at all. Even the Divas match is at least fast paced and at three and a half minutes with hot women, how much can you really complain? This had it all as there is history, title changes, surprised, tons of emotion and a perfect card. Shocky made a comment that it’s in the top three Manias ever and he might be on to something actually.

It’s behind 17 for me and off the top of my head that’s it from a quality standpoint but I haven’t thought about it much. This was a great show though with the big matches all being great and the others being very good as well. Nothing was truly bad other than the Divas match which is totally overlookable. Great Mania and ABSOLUTELY worth seeing. I loved it.

And now for three bonus sections. Of course I’m going to do more for a Mania review. It’s the biggest show of the year and I started my reviews with Mania.

To begin with, this Mania set up the upcoming year rather well. As always, Mania marks both the beginning and the end of the year. Cena is back on top which is fine as he should be there. Jericho was a shocker to retain for me and maybe they’re showing confidence in him.

Swagger, Sheamus, Punk, Christian, Kofi and others are ready to take this company over while the current generation of stars in Cena, Batsita, Orton and HHH can more than hold down the fort and bring those guys up. That’s how you have a good company: a well rounded new generation that is ready to take over. I have high hopes for the company as the roster is clicking and the stories have been great thanks to them slowing things down and going with basic angles.

The older generation is dying away as Montreal is finally laid to rest and Shawn is retired now. That’s how things should be as guys from 8 years ago like Cena and Orton are the top guys now and they have been groomed for these spots. I have high hopes for this company as this is the best its looked in many a year.

Item number two is the Streak. This my friends, is the most amazing achievement in wrestling history. “But KB, all it means is he’s been booked strong at one point a year.” Yeah that’s hogwash. To begin with, the Streak didn’t mean anything until 2001. I don’t think it was even mentioned until around that time. Second, think of this. Shawn Michaels is called Mr. Wrestlemania. He’s wrestled at that show 17 times.

Mr. Wrestlemania has not competed at Wrestlemania as many times as Taker has won there. Let that sink in for a moment. The Streak is an angle in and of itself. What was the argument between Shawn and Taker over both times? Nothing other than beating Taker at Wrestlemania.

There is no equivalent to it in all of wrestling and there never will be. To even be around for 18 years is an accomplishment. The thing is just amazing and hopefully it will never die. It’s my favorite part of the show and it never fails to deliver.

And now we move to the white elephant in the room. Shawn Michaels, arguably the best performer ever, has retired. Like I said I was never the biggest Shawn fan, but to deny his talent or the impact he had on wrestling would be ridiculously unfair to him and his legacy. He changed the way a lot of wrestlers perform and there are many reasons why, all of which you can see by watching him.

He stole the show so many times and retired as better than probably 95% of the wrestlers in the world. He went out on top on his own terms which is all you can want. He was one of the best ever and maybe the best ever, but that’s an argument for another time. I’m sad to see him go, but glad that he went out like this. In his speech the next night on Raw he more or less said he wasn’t going to TNA which is great as he would likely wind up jobbing to people beneath him.

Also, if he ever wants to, Vince would welcome him back with open arms. His exit was classy and perfectly done and to me it would be a shame if he came back, but I could live with it. It’s sad to see him go, but nice at the same time as he can go in peace. Have a good retirement Shawn. You’ve earned it.

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