Summerslam 2005
Date: August 21, 2005
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 18,156
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

The main change can be summed up in one word: Cena and Batista. They took the world titles at Wrestlemania and haven’t looked back since. Other than that, there’s not a lot of differences. The main changes would be the alignments of some faces and heels. Eddie is now a heel, as is Orton, who was getting to the tweener stage last year. Edge is also full heel now, but that deserves a special mention later.

The main event however has none of those people to worry about. Tonight, the main event is a clash of two titans. Ok maybe more like a titan against Zeus, as Hulk Hogan meets Shawn Michaels. Now this wasn’t much of a rivalry as much as it was a challenge. At Backlash, the two had teamed up to fight off the evil of Muhammad Hassan and Daivari.

Then on the Fourth of July, Shawn superkicked him to end Raw, leading us here. To say the promos that Shawn did leading up to this were hilarious is the understatement of the year. Anyway, that’s the undisputed main event and also a source of controversy which I’ll get to later. Anyway, let’s get to this. Oh yeah one last note: due to the draft, the titles have switched shows.

Lillian sings the National Anthem which is awesome as always. You can see how much she puts into it and it’s awesome.

The video is great here, although that may be because it’s set to Remedy by Seether, one of my all time favorite songs. We get the usual highlights of the feuds, but then once it looks like we’ve done them all and the song plays for a bit, Shawn kicks Hogan to bring it to a dead halt. It’s just really well done and highlights all of the matches that are coming up tonight.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan is champion here. Jordan won the title from Cena about 5 months ago. He really never did much with the title other than have some bad looking boxing moves, despite being a decent boxer as an amateur. He beat Benoit at the Great American Bash but had to use the turnbuckle to do it. This is Benoit’s rematch.

The Crippler gets a great pop. Always interesting to see a guy go from main eventing to opening the show. Wow I forgot how annoying Jordan was. That all being said, this match lasts 25 seconds. Here’s the whole match: They lock up, Benoit takes him to the corner, Jordan punches him once, Benoit hits the German, crossface, new champion.

Rating: N/A. This was AWESOME. The crowd was losing it as soon as he got the crossface on and so was I. I won’t give it a rating but if I did, instant A. The crowd is completely fired up now and they think they can’t miss a thing now. GREAT way to start the show. I loved this.

Since there was next to nothing to say there, here’s the aftermath of it. They would have three rematches. One would last longer than this, clocking in at an earth shattering 49.8 seconds. It led to some very funny segments with Benoit trying to find things he could do that lasted longer than the match. Again, this was AWESOME.

Eddie is in the…HOLY CRAP IS THAT VICKIE??? She’s got red hair, a MUCH nicer voice and is thin. Ok, now I could see him marrying that. I’ll go into what they talk about later, as the angle is without a doubt the dumbest I’ve ever seen and deserves its own discussion.

There are soldiers there from the military hospital. That never stops being cool.

We recap Edge vs. Matt. Holy crap where do I begin here? This is one of the best stories of all time. Notice I didn’t say storyline there, because it was a real event. Matt and Lita were dating, and she left him for Edge. This became public knowledge and Edge kept teasing that Matt would come and beat him up for it.

Matt was at ROH for awhile, and then in what was one of the most shocking things I can ever remember, Matt showed up on Raw from out of nowhere, stunning everyone including the IWC by shouting that he’d see everyone at Ring of Honor. Yes, ROH was mentioned by name on WWE television.

The key to this was simple: the announcers weren’t told it was coming. How in the world are they supposed to respond to it? It threw everyone off and was a huge success as NO ONE saw this coming. If you want to credit Edge’s rise to the top to one thing, this is it.

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

To say Lita looks good is like saying Sly is an ok debater. She’s looking extra hot here, with the jeans and bra but her stomach is all muscular and thin. I can easily see why a fight would break out over her. Edge is just about booed out of the building. The pop for Matt is huge. If there was ever a time that he should have been pushed to the moon, this was it. This is likely to be a shoot and not a regular match. Yep, it’s a shoot.

If this was a work, then give these two freaking medals. I know at least some of those shots were legit. This might be the hardest hitting match I’ve ever seen. Other than a spear through the ropes like he did to Foley, everything is a strike that you might see in a UFC fight. Matt’s head gets opened up and after a bunch of stiff shots to it, the referee stops it. I know that part was a work, as it’s a bad cut but not horrid.

Oddly enough, Matt would go on to cleanly win the next two matches before losing to Edge in a ladder match and having to leave Raw. It looks bad now, but he would redeem himself. The replay shows that the post spot where Matt got cut was a work, as he more or less crawls forward to get in position. Even still, very fun match.

Rating: B+. For what it was, this was great. For a wrestling match, it was BAD. However, I loved it for how brutal it looked and how great Lita looked, so while a lot would go the opposite here and I wouldn’t argue with them, this was fun. It wasn’t good, but it was fun.

There’s two songs apparently, a very bad pop/rap song and Remedy.

And now we have arrived. What we have next is without a doubt the WORST angle I have ever seen. Before I do the recap, allow me to quote Tony Chimmel’s announcement of the next match.

“The following contest is a ladder match FOR THE CUSTODY OF DOMINICK!”

Yes, the stipulation here is that the winner of this match gets custody of an 8 year old boy. Here’s your story: Eddie and Rey were tag team champions yet for awhile they had some one on one matches and Eddie never won. All of a sudden he started talking about a secret, which clearly was that he was Rey’s son’s real father. Eventually they had a match at the Great American Bash where if Eddie won he would get to tell the secret, but if he lost it stayed a secret.

Rey won, but on Smackdown Eddie just said it anyway which was something that I loved. Either way, Eddie gets custody of Dominick but is willing to put it on the line in a ladder match for one more chance to beat Rey. Dominick is at ringside with his social worker, just to make this even more ridiculous. One final note: Rey Mysterio is a lucky man, as his wife is smoking.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

This, as I said, is the dumbest thing I have ever heard of, but the match should be good. Tazz and Cole talk about their sons as Rey hugs Dominick. This is what Eddie and Vickie were talking about earlier if you didn’t get that. We start with a stall as neither guy really moves at all. Yeah that’s a great way to get the crowd more fired up: don’t move. Apparently Eddie is 0-6 vs. Rey in his career. Dominick, the scared little boy, standing next to a guy in a Cactus Jack shirt is funny to me for some reason.

I get that he’s supposed to be scared and I think he’s playing his part well, we don’t need to see his reaction after every move. They bring the ladders in pretty fast and it’s mostly just their regular moves with the ladders involved along with some basic stuff. Rey is off a bit here which makes great sense as he’s worried about his son.

That’s a nice piece of logic and it makes perfect sense here. In a great spot, Eddie is almost up the ladder but Rey sets another ladder up like a ramp and climbs it to stop Eddie. That’s pretty good but the good part is the backdrop off the ladder, which causes both of them to fall and the crash is just great. Cole calls Eddie sick about 10 times which makes me think he needs some antibiotics.

Ok, now this match just gets bad. Eddie hits a big spot to knock Rey out. He’s climbing the ladder and is about to win, and DOMINICK runs in to shake the ladder. Eddie drops down and says things like “Give me a hug” and “I’m going to be your new daddy!” Ok, where do I begin here? Number one, where in the world is security? They can’t stop an 8 year old boy from jumping the guard rail, or I guess in his case climbing it, getting in the ring, grabbing the ladder, or Eddie from raising his fist at him?

Number two, where was that social worker or whatever? Isn’t her job to make sure that the kid is safe? Yes, I’m sure that it’s safe for a child to run into a wrestling ring and shake a ladder with a grown man on it. Number three, isn’t a social worker a local thing? What kind of social worker would allow this to even happen? How could a professional wrestling match determine the custody of a child? And we have another 7 minutes to go! Where is my medicine?

Finally, does anyone else think Eddie sounds a little perverted with what he said in there? He says more than what I said, but it’s just a bit odd sounding. Anyway, Rey does another dumb spot as he hits the 619 into the ladder into Eddie. Yeah, that’s very smart Rey. And you wonder why your knees are shot. Oh and Eddie looking over his shoulder while in position didn’t help things.

After Rey hangs from the cord, (Eddie catches him in a powerbomb but Cole keeps calling it a Spinebuster until Tazz corrects him after seeing the replay) he gets pinned under the ladder as Eddie climbs up. Eddie then proves how stupid these matches can be as he spends like 20 seconds trying to unhook the stupid thing while waving at Rey. Rey of course counters and shakes the ladder and Eddie hangs on the cord.

Who makes those things, NASA? I would have loved it if Eddie had tucked his knees in and Rey had tried to jump up to grab him but he just wasn’t tall enough. Cole and Tazz go one and on about how Eddie has no heart. I love how last year he had the biggest heart in the world, but now it’s revealed that he’s always had a black heart. My goodness I love kayfabe. Where in the world did they come up with that term anyway?

Rey is in trouble again as Eddie goes up but Vickie runs out and shoves him off. Tazz’s line of she doesn’t belong out here made me laugh out loud. You know, if she wore something other than brown she could actually be attractive. She’s probably 40 pounds lighter here if that means anything. Dang how many times does Rey have to be saved here? Anyway, Rey climbs up and Vickie grabs Eddie to hold him back so Rey wins.

Dominick jumps the railing again as Rey’s wife walks down the ramp to join them. Seriously, how bad is security in this building??? Eddie throws a fit as Cole’s commentary tells us just how stupid this whole thing really was. Rey slides back in and with Eddie looking at him the whole time, he nails Eddie in the head with the briefcase. Great way to treat something you worked so hard to get.

Rating: B. The match was fine, but DANG the storyline couldn’t have been shoved down our throats any harder. We get it: Eddie is evil and Rey is about to lose his family. You spent half the match talking about it. This is an example of where commentary can hurt a match. At the end I almost wanted Eddie to win so I could laugh at Cole and Tazz. Either way, the match itself was fine, all stupid parts aside. It’s hard to think that Eddie would be dead in three months.

Jericho cuts a solid promo about how he will win tonight and that Cena is just the flavor of the month. He says that he beat Rock and Austin in the same night and that Cena can’t compare to them. There’s a thread there, and remember this was 4 years ago.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

My goodness why does Eugene keep getting the good wrestlers at this show? Christy Hemme comes out with Eugene dressed as a good looking cheerlead, so maybe there’s something to Eugene. The story, which isn’t told here, is that Angle had been offering his gold medals to anyone that could last 3 minutes with him. Eugene won them, and now he wants it back. That leads us here as there’s no time limit for this match. Oh joy, oh rapture.

We’re finally at Kurt’s best known look, as he’s bald and has the You Suck chants. The odd thing is that he miss times his pyro so as he’s walking to the ring it goes off instead of when he’s pointing up. Eugene is getting killed for the early part here but comes back and tries a People’s Elbow. Angle pops up and takes his head off with a clothesline to one of the biggest pops of the night. Angle is just killing him here and the fans are WAY behind him.

Eugene looks like a jobber with his offense here and is getting booed out of the building from just a few basic punches. See WWE, there’s this thing called LISTENING. Try it sometime. German suplex is called an Angle suplex as Eugene is just about out of it, drawing another huge pop. I’ve heard of wrestlers being hated before but this is some of the worst I’ve ever seen. Coach says Angle wants to continue to beatdown the beatdown. Right, thank you Coach.

Eugene hulks up and hits a Rock Bottom that gets two. He asks the referee if it was three and then remembers his gimmick is that he’s slow. A stunner gets two as the crowd is as hot as Christy. Eugene pulls down some invisible straps so it looks like he’s scratching his shoulders and puts on the ankle lock. I thought he was emulating his favorite wrestlers. A guy that hates him is his favorite? Whatever.

Angle counters, hits the slam and makes Eugene tap to the roar of the fans. They kept it short, which was a great idea here as last year’s 17 minute match was just flat out stupid. Even Ross is talking about how dominant that was. Afterwards, Angle stands on a chair and has the referee put the medal around his neck which is kind of cool.

Rating: A+. Anytime Eugene gets destroyed like he did here, it’s a great match. He was just annoying at this point. A year ago he was ok I guess as the gimmick of someone that was slow but was a wrestling savant was actually kind of cool. Now he’s just slow as his wrestling ability has been forgotten and he just uses big time finishers. See, that’s how you can tell they’ve given up on him. They had a cool idea and then they just dropped it. That’s never a good sign, period.

The Divas are in bikinis and washing a car for no apparent reason. We see that it has the Presidential logo on it. The window rolls down and Vince is in it. He says why not? A bumper stickers says McMahon for President. Nothing ever came of this.

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

We cut back to the arena and just hear a gong. Thanks for the buildup or anything guys. This is just a Mania rematch which happened because Orton wanted to stop the streak. I’ve always liked Burn in My Light better than Voices. Orton standing in front of the pyro doing his pose just looks awesome. Even though he’s a heel he actually gets a solid pop.

I miss this version of Orton. For one thing the color of his skin is a bit less orange. It’s weird seeing Taker come out first. Orton hits the floor early to hide and I can’t say I blame him. Taz seems to agree with me. Taker slaps him in the face and the beating is on. I love seeing Taker grab someone by the throat and throw them into the corner. It’s just awesome looking.

Apparently Orton smiled after taking a chokeslam on Thursday so he’s getting in the head of the Deadman. Sounds to me like he’s getting chokeslamed which usually means he would lose. Old School is blocked by an arm drag which gets two, likely because it was an arm drag. Orton might have a bad shoulder thanks to a match with Benoit on Smackdown.

Orton takes over with punches. Take a guess as to how well that goes for him. BIG boot takes Orton down for two. This is different than their Mania match and I’m not sure if I like it better or not. Just waiting on Taker’s momentum to die until he gets beaten up for like 8 minutes and then we hit the finish. Running knee in the corner has Orton in big trouble.

Taker keeps going after the referee for no good reason. He tries the same running shot in the corner and of course it misses, allowing Orton to take over. He gets a modified elevated DDT as Taker is coming in for two. Orton goes to the knee as no one has EVER tried that on Taker right?

Powerslam by Orton gets two. And so much for a pin attempt as he goes back to the knee. With his good leg he hits the apron legdrop and actually SELLS THE LEG. I’m just so darn proud! He somehow manages to hit Old School but can’t follow up due to the knee. Snake Eyes hit but the big boot can’t work so Orton gets a dropkick to put Taker down. RKO is blocked though.

Tombstone is reversed and of course that doesn’t work but the reversal is reversed into the backbreaker for two. WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO TOMBSTONE UNDERTAKER??? That has never worked once unless your name is Kane. Does no one watch tape anymore? Crazy new generation. Chokeslam hits and there’s the sign for the tombstone.

A fan runs in and it’s Bob Orton. For the life of me I will never get the appeal of him. Seriously, what’s so great about Bob Orton? What makes him a legend, aside from hanging out with Roddy Piper? That isn’t revealed though until later. Taker goes to get Orton and walks into the RKO for the pin. And the fan is Bob Orton.

Rating: B-. It’s nowhere near their Mania match, so that’s not helping things. I like how they had Bob come in at the end though as it adds something new which furthers the story a bit. There would be two more matches with these two before they finally blew it off in the Cell at Armageddon.

This was fine, but I prefer Mania by a lot, as we had seen a lot of this before, 4 months prior to this. Still not bad at all though. It amazes me how Orton has gone from the rookie wonder last year to this in just a year’s time.

They point out some Republican politicians in the crowd and no one cares.

Time to recap Jericho vs. Cena, which Ross messes up by saying Jericho is champion. This was more about Cena vs. Bischoff as they try to redo Austin vs. McMahon. Jericho is his handpicked opponent to become champion. We knew Jericho was leaving after Raw the next night so there was a real chance they would do the one night title switch and put it back on Cena the next night. Jericho is walking to the ring as we see him from the back coming through the curtain as his music plays. That’s kind of cool.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

In a weird sounding thing, Lillian says that Jericho was born in New York. When have they ever worded it like that? This is being built up as rock vs. rap. Yeah that’s great. The Cena pop is huge. Wow Lawler is 3-0 at Summerslam? That’s actually quite surprising. They point out that it’s wrestling vs. brawling here, and mention Rock and Austin. Dude, it’s great, but even I’m sick of hearing about it. On the floor Cena hits….let’s call it a spear I guess.

It’s kind of just a running tackle that they call a spear. Ross surprisingly says he’s not a Cena fan. He says that he tells it like it is, which makes me laugh even harder. This is pretty much dominance to start, as JR uses the word sycophant. Dang how much foreshadowing are they going to do? Ross is being kind of a jerk here as he keeps telling Coachman to shut up. For once I agree with Ross. Coach uses Rock lines which make me shake my head.

The commentary is more interesting than the match here as Jericho is pretty much dominating. Top rope superplex is cool. In a cool looking spot Cena goes for the shoulder block and Jericho slides between his legs. You know Jericho has two of the worst finishers of all time with the Lionsault and the Walls. When did they ever win anything when he was a heel? By the way, the STFU was a few weeks away at this point. He does however use the top rope leg here. You can tell he’s still not entirely comfortable with being the top star, but he’s getting there.

FU is blocked into a DDT, which was foreshadowed by the feet of Jericho kicking. That’s the natural counter to everything I guess. We have very loud dueling chants of let’s go Cena/Jericho. At the time, Jericho just failed as a heel because he was far too much like his old face persona. A lot of his movements and mannerisms are the same, which is why his current persona works much better. It’s completely different than his old one was and there’s little likable about it.

Five moves are countered, namely the You Can’t See Me. Jericho’s epic counter you ask? He rolls over. I love how “big” moves are blocked so easily at times. The Walls of course do nothing at all but get a face pop. Cena goes for an FU from the second rope which doesn’t work.

Jericho gets a running start but Cena grabs him and in a very cool looking sequence, hooks him in a tilt a whirl up onto his shoulder to FU him for the finish as JR yells louder than he did when Austin was champ. That ending was very cool looking.

Rating: C. This felt way too short. Cena was beaten up almost the whole time but in the end of course he hits his big move to knock off the enemy. It was fine for a PPV match I guess, but it was far from special. They would have another match the next night where the loser was fired. Jericho lost and would leave for almost 3 years.

WM 22 is in Chicago.

Recap of the JBL vs. Batista feud which more or less is them having a match at the Bash but Batista gets disqualified. That makes JBL want this to be no holds barred.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. JBL

JBL makes it rain 100 dollar bills to get the fans to cheer. They find that they’re JBL dollars to make them boo. The speed at which this crowd changes is amusing. Batista gets the big pop as the home town boy. However he gets jumped on the way to the ring as I think they figured out that this just wasn’t going to be a good wrestling match no matter what they did so they just made it a big brawl. They go into the crowd for a bit and Batista spears JBL through the barricade to get him back to ringside.

Well that’s one way to do it I guess. Hokey smoke they’re in the ring. For the second time tonight Cole knows the amount of time that the people have been champions. Thanks, but isn’t that a bit of overkill? As usual, a leather belt is brought in. Why would you wear one of those in a match anyway? It’s not like you think it’s safe or something. No one could be that stupid. Wait this is JBL and Batista. Ignore what I just said.

This is just a lot of hitting each other with power moves and the no holds barred thing is kind of stupid. The epic clothesline isn’t enough to stop Batista, so JBL gets some steps. Those are some freaking huge steps. This is just really bad. JBL misses a powerbomb from the steps, not onto them mind you. Batista Bomb but he doesn’t cover, but instead stands there like a moron with his mouth hanging open. The fans chant one more time so I guess you know what’s coming.

Yep, it’s a power bomb on the steps. I’m not impressed either. Of course this ends it. The impact wasn’t that good either as it’s such a far shorter drop that there’s no time to get any momentum behind it.

Rating: D. Yeah this was bad. It’s less than ten minutes and that might have been too long. The problem here is simple: these two are just big strong brawlers and that style doesn’t work against each other and it didn’t here. You need someone of a different style so that the power works well against it. This was really bad though as it was obvious who would win and there was no drama at all. Bad match and no drama means a waste of time.

Recap of the real main event, which I have to give them credit for getting right here as neither of the other matches should have closed out the show. Short version: Hogan and Michaels teamed up to fight the evil Middle Eastern guys, and then they teamed a bit more. Shawn said he had to know if he could beat Hogan, and that’s how we got here.

If I went through all of the promos for this I’d run out of room for how funny they were. I don’t think they were trying to make Shawn heel here but rather the less good of the two guys. This was actually a major match when you think about it and it was treated as such, so what more can you ask for here?

HBK vs. Hulk Hogan

We come back to the arena to dead silence. I mean nothing is going on but the general noise of the fans. Yeah that’s a great way to come out of a good video package guys. A few seconds of this is fine, but it goes on for about 15 seconds. That doesn’t sound like much but it’s a LONG time when you’re just sitting there waiting. Shawn FINALLY comes out to a pop but not a huge one. We still have no commentary.

Shawn prays as he usually does. I wonder if he’s praying to Hogan. Listen to his old promos and tell me he doesn’t sound like he thinks he’s God. The announcers try to make Shawn out to be an evil heel but it’s just failing. Dang the MCI Center needs a new roof. The fans just blew it off. A massive American Flag drops from the ceiling and it just looks awesome. The commentary is just completely biased as only Coach is on Shawn’s side.

Ok Hogan’s entrance is now at four minutes long. Neither has ever lost at Summerslam in a one on one match. That’s saying a lot. Shawn, forever the strategist, thinks it’s a good idea to try to overpower Hogan. Do I even need to make fun of that? A LOUD you screwed Bret chant starts up. It could be debated that such a chant could be directed at either person. They try to play this off as being the biggest match in Hogan’s career. That is just flat out funny.

This isn’t even the biggest match of Hogan’s career in this building, as this was where Hogan vs. Sting happened. Michaels’ bumping is just funny here as he’s selling a punch like a shot from a cannon. They talk about the big men that both men have beaten. Shawn is credited with Vader (he never beat him though), Diesel and Sid. Ok that’s all fine. They mention Hogan beating Andre and Coach mentions Big John Studd. This gets dead silence.

While it’s true that he beat John on some house shows, I don’t think he ever did it on a major show or a national broadcast, so I can see the skepticism there. Shawn slaps Hogan twice and actually gets away with it. They go to the floor with Hogan just killing him, but eventually Hogan goes into the posts head first. Amazingly enough he rubs his head, and right where he rubs it he’s bleeding. What are the odds of that?

You have to love that Shawn is beating up a 52 year old man. You have to love that this match isn’t stopped for the blood yet Matt vs. Edge was. Do you mean that Hogan isn’t as important as Matt Hardy? Shawn with a sleeper that Ross says is cutting off the flow of blood to the brain. Wouldn’t that kind of be helping Hogan since blood is flowing from his head? They ask how many people can say ended Hogan with his blood on their hands. I’m thinking Brock Lesnar there boys.

Shawn hits what I guess is supposed to be a forearm but Hogan just kind of falls over. Shawn goes for ANOTHER forearm but the referee goes down because of it. Do we really need that in this match? Just let one or the other get the win. The fans want Bret. Where in the world does that come from? Shawn then applies the absolute WORST sharpshooter of all time.

He looks like he’s bent over in prison or something and Hogan looks like he’s in a half crab, which isn’t his fault as Shawn didn’t put it on right. Shawn got the leg crossing wrong I think. Yeah he did it’s supposed to be with the other arm. We have another referee here by the way. JR says that both men are looking for a win. I thought they were both looking for the way to Sesame Street. The other referee is down too. Yeah this isn’t overkill at all.

Shawn with a low blow that JR calls a low blow and then that it doesn’t need a description. Isn’t calling it low a description? Chair is brought in and barely hits Hogan as he falls early from it and Shawn lets it slide over the top of his head. Sweet Chin Music connects which gets a huge pop as Shawn circles Hogan to cover him correctly so Hogan can do the power kick out. Yep there it is.

Ok, now I can get that when Hogan is hit by an elbow or a splash that he can kick out like that, but this is a hard blow to his head. That makes NO sense, even from a wrestling perspective. We get the boot and leg drop, complete with Shawn’s insane selling that’s drawn a lot of criticism.

If Hogan can completely no sell the kick, Shawn can do that for the boot. Post match Shawn tilts face again. I say tilts because he never really turned in the first place. Oh and all of a sudden the commentators love him again too. The famous poses play us out.

Rating: B-. It was what it was, but no one believed Shawn was going to win. However, he should have. Hogan is certainly the bigger star, but he’s not a full time wrestler at this point and Shawn was. If Shawn wins here, he’s instantly getting a huge push as he just beat Hulk Hogan. Now I get that Hogan should win as the bigger star, and if they were both leaving or both staying you would be absolutely right, but that’s not what they were doing.

Shawn was staying and a win for him would be a huge push. Yes Hogan is the best ever, but he’s not even active at the moment so it looks like Shawn lost to some guy that just came back and beat him. I just don’t agree with this booking at all.

Overall Rating: B. This is a show where the overall product is much better than the individual matches. Batista vs. JBL is the only truly bad match on the card. The rest are good if not quite good. I don’t think there’s a true classic anywhere here or even a great match, but with everything being at least decent save for the WHC, this is a solid show. I’ll recommend it, but not completely.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Backlash 2008
Date: April 27, 2008
Location: 1^st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 11,277
Commentators: Mike Adamle, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Mick Foley

We begin the final set of PPV reviews here with the next to last Backlash. The main events are mostly Mania rematches, as JBL has been added to the Raw triple threat from Mania 24 and Edge faces Undertaker again. Other than that we have Shawn vs. Batista which is fallout from Shawn vs. Flair and sets up the Shawn vs. Jericho feud. Dang Shawn had a lot going on here. Let’s get to it.

The opening video says Mania was the beginning and tonight is the revenge. Or the backlash you might say.

The announcers welcome us to the show and Mick Foley is revealed as the new commentator.

US Title: Matt Hardy vs. MVP

This is the culmination of a feud that went on for almost eight months as Matt and MVP both got hurt so they had to keep waiting. We get a clip from five months ago where MVP attacked Matt’s leg. Matt returned last month to cost MVP the MITB match and tonight it’s FINALLY the blowoff. We get some big match intros and we’re ready to go. MVP goes for the knee of Hardy and Matt looks a bit ginger on it.

Hardy comes back so MVP bails to the floor. Back in and Matt takes him to the canvas with a headlock. A middle rope elbow to the back of the head gets two but MVP gets in a shot to the back to slow Hardy down. They go to the corner with MVP’s belly to back superplex being broken up. Matt’s moonsault hits knees though and the champion takes over. He works on the back/midsection which was injured as well apparently.

Off to an abdominal stretch but Matt escapes with a hip toss. He lands on MVP, meaning MVP probably has broken ribs. The champ comes back with a belly to belly for two. A clothesline finally gets Matt a breather and allows him to hit a bulldog out of the corner for two. The Playmaker is countered into the Side Effect for two. The crowd is really getting into this.

Hardy goes up but gets crotched due to a dropkick to the ropes. They go up top and Matt hits a top rope Side Effect for no cover as both guys are down. It eventually gets two as does a backslide from the champ. Matt grabs a fast rollup for two but the Twist of Fate is countered. MVP hits the Drive By (running boot to the face) and Hardy is knocked to the floor. He barely gets back in at 8 and MVP is stunned. Another boot to the face puts Matt down but a running one in the corner hits buckle, allowing Matt to hit the Twist for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. The idea here was to give the fans something to get all fired up over and that was certainly accomplished. This feud went on forever but the ending was the perfect kind, as the fans were all behind Matt and wanted to see him end the nearly year long reign that MVP was on. Good opener here and I was getting into it by the end.

Matt talks about how great this is and how hard he’s worked. It’s been worth all the injuries too. And to MVP, I am better than you.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

Kane is defending after having won the title in 8 seconds at Mania. Chavo has his bodyguard Bam Neely. Edge attacked Kane’s knee on ECW on Tuesday so the champ is coming in injured. Chavo goes for the knee so Kane hits him in the face. The low dropkick hits Chavo’s face but it hurts the knee even more. Kane chokes Chavo over his back and hits a gorilla press to follow up. Guerrero finally takes the knee out and sends him face first into the buckle.

They head outside but Kane catches Chavo in the air and rams his back into the barricade. They head back in but Kane has his knee kicked out to give the challenger control. Neely gets in some shots and we go back in. Adamle is totally lost in calling this, getting basic things wrong and even having Tazz make fun of him. Chavo goes up but winds up on Kan’e shoulders for an electric chair drop.

Both guys are down now but Chavo kicks the knee out again. Kane is all cool with that and grabs him by the throat. That gets released so it’s a big boot to the face instead. Side slam gets two and Adamle actually called it the right name. He’s getting a little better at least. Kane goes up and hits the top rope clothesline for two. Chavo goes up as well and a missile dropkick gets two. He takes out the knee again but goes up, only to get caught in a chokeslam position. Chavo escapes but the Frog Splash is caught in the chokeslam for the pin and Kane retains.

Rating: C-. Not much here but it wasn’t that bad I guess. Kane needed to get a clean win here instead of making it look like a fluke/meaningless win as it was at Mania, but at the end of the day there’s almost no way you can spin Chavo as a credible threat to someone like Kane. Not a great match but it could have been a lot worse.

Orton says he’s been through a lot lately but he’ll come out of this as world champion still.

Great Khali vs. Big Show

No real story here. They’re just fighting for the sake of fighting because they’re both massive. They stare each other down and slug it out a bit with Big Show moving much faster than Khali. Show headbutts him but it doesn’t have much effect. They trade chops and a clothesline puts Show down. Show fights back and tries a slam, only to get clotheslined to the floor.

After nothing of note happens out there they head back in with Khali chopping him down again. A big boot puts Show down and Khali hooks on, I kid you not, a Crippler Crossface. Show fights up but can’t slam Khali. Off to a nerve hold which causes a lot of screaming from Big Show. That gets broken pretty quickly but Show gets chopped down for another two count. Khali cranks on the arms as the fans think this is boring. Big Show fights up and slams Khali for two. The Punjabi Plunge is countered into the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D-. Next. Seriously, next. This match came, it went, there’s nothing to think about here at all. Khali was big and slow and once he lost the world title, it was all downhill from there. Show may be big and slow, but at least he has some skill and a tiny bit of speed to throw in there to make his matches seem like they’re actually happening instead of a series of still photographs. Horribly dull match but given who was in there, what else were you expecting?

Cena gives country music advice to Jimmy Wang Yang when Orton comes up. Orton says Cena will lose again tonight but Cena says tonight Orton will go home broken. Cena’s hair looks a lot darker here than usual.

We recap Shawn vs. Batista. The idea here is that Shawn retired Flair at Wrestlemania and Batista isn’t happy about that. During Flair’s retirement ceremony, the camera panned over to Batista for a quick shot, which showed him being very unhappy when Shawn came out. Jericho is involved in this too, as he thinks Shawn wanted to retire Flair which Shawn doesn’t like the idea of. He thinks Batista wanted to retire Flair too, which got him beaten up by both guys. Jericho is the guest referee tonight.

Shawn Michaels vs. Batista

Feeling out process to start as Batista tries to figure out how to counter the strength advantage. He tries chops which get him nowhere other than into a Batista Bomb attempt. Back in now as Shawn fires away some kicks to the legs which don’t have much effect. Big Dave is like screw this and runs Shawn over to gain control. Shawn gets him down by taking out the leg again and hooks a shortarm scissors.

They actually hit the mat for a bit with Batista trying to roll out, only to get caught by some knees to the arm. Since it’s a Shawn Michaels shortarm scissors though, you know the counter that’s coming. It takes awhile but there it is, as Batista lifts him off the mat and throws Shawn over the top and out to the floor. Dave goes with him though and both guys are down on the outside.

Shawn rams the arm into the post as Batista is in trouble. Shawn is kind of wrestling heel here which is a natural fit for him if he needs it to be. Back in and he cranks on the arm, tying it up in the ropes for more leverage. Batista tries to take it to the corner but Shawn locks on a standing cross armbreaker which he bends over the ropes as well. That looked sick. Shawn goes up and drops a double ax to the shoulder as he’s totally focused on one body part.

Batista finally comes back with a Samoan Drop to put both guys down and buy himself a breather. Shawn gets sent into the corner and flips upside down, followed by a big clothesline from Batista’s good arm. The Batista Bomb is countered into a Crossface which is pretty soon after Benoit. The Animal almost gets to a rope but Shawn floats over into a cover followed by another Crossface back in the middle of the ring. That was slick.

Batista gets the rope and the fans are booing loudly. Jericho has to physically break the hold and Shawn isn’t pleased. Batista gets a side slam with the bad arm for two and we get a quick breather. Shawn hits the forearm and nips up but he walks into the spear for two. Shawn goes up and after shoving Batista down he hits the big elbow for no cover. He loads up Sweet Chin Music but Batista counters that into a spinebuster. The Bomb is escaped but Shawn’s knee gives out. Jericho checks on Shawn and it’s ok to continue. Batista walks over and gets his head kicked off, giving Shawn the pin.

Rating: B. Shawn was on fire in 2008 and this was no exception. This was getting very good when it ended but the ending was fine. It’s actually the beginning of a much bigger storyline as Jericho didn’t believe the knee was really hurt and called Shawn out on it. These two would feud until October and it was without question the top feud of the year. Good match here but the best hadn’t even started yet.

Jericho has to help Shawn to the back.

Buy the Wrestlemania DVD.

Orton comes to see HHH now and says tonight HHH won’t succeed. Orton says he’ll win but HHH says pride comes before the fall.

Beth Phoenix/Melina/Layla/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Natalya vs. Mickie James/Michelle McCool/Ashley/Cherry/Kelly Kelly/Maria

Mickie won the title from Beth a few weeks ago in a huge upset. There is something to be said about putting 12 good looking women in a single tag match. Beth, with curly hair, starts with Michelle, who looks GOOD in black. Beth counters the speed moves and powerslams her down for two. Off to Melina who hooks a bridging front facelock with a choke. Michelle rolls through a sunset flip and dropkicks Melina in the face.

Off to the champ (Mickie in case you forgot) who hits a rana out of the corner but Melina tags off to Natalya who is in a black and yellow body suit. It’s her PPV debut so it’s understandable I guess. Victoria comes in and misses her shaking moonsault. Mickie hits an enziguri and the brawl breaks out on the floor. Ashley comes in for a HORRIBLE rana on Jillian, getting two. Thankfully Beth comes in to give her a beating for how bad it was. Ashley escapes the Glam Slam but can’t tag. Mickie comes in illegally and the parade of finishers begin. After everyone hits something, Beth pins Ashley with a fisherman’s buster.

Rating: D+. The match sucked, but MAN were the girls better back then. They were better in the ring and they looked a lot better too. The girls here actually looked like their outfits weren’t made by the same people which is a big upgrade. Also them having more than 90 seconds a week is a big improvement too. Screw them being role models. They exist because they look good in tight spandex that shows off their bodies. Don’t try to over complicate this stuff.

Some Baltimore Ravens are here.

We recap Edge vs. Undertaker. Edge tapped away the title at Mania and says he hasn’t felt right ever since. Vickie, corrupt authority figure #847, has stacked the deck against Taker by making him have hard matches while Edge has basically had a month off.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Undertaker

Taker actually says I’m going to hurt you to Edge during the big match intros. Edge gets thrown to the floor to start and then is run over by a shoulder block. It’s still in the feeling out period here. Taker charges into a boot and gets clotheslined down as Edge takes over for the first time. And never mind as Edge gets thrown into the corner and Taker pounds away even more. Taker cranks on the arm and sends the shoulder into the buckle.

The champ loads up Old School but Edge rakes the eyes to escape. Taker gets clotheslined to the floor and a baseball slide sends Taker into the barricade. Edge dives off the apron but is easily caught and rammed into the posts. That’s similar to what Kane did earlier so maybe it runs in the family. The champ pounds him down some more and drops the leg on the apron but it hurts Taker’s bad back.

Back in the ring a slam and legdrop get two, brother. What might have been the tombstone is countered into the Edge-O-Matic for two. With Taker in the corner Edge hits a spear to the back for two. Edge hooks a body scissors and Taker is getting ticked off. The Dead Man pounds away at Edge’s face to escape but Edge hits a dropkick to the back to put him down again. Another baseball slide puts Taker on the floor and we head outside for another bit.

That goes nowhere so we head back inside for a Canadian camel clutch. Taker fights out of that by standing up but Edge hooks another body scissors and right back into the camel clutch. That gets broken up exactly the same way and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Now a double big boot puts both guys down in case you’re a leg man instead of an arm man. Taker wins a slugout much to the fans’ delight and a big boot puts Edge down again.

A running corner clothesline hits Edge and it’s snake eyes into the big boot. An elbow drop gets two and Taker is getting a bit gassed. Old School is broken up again and Edge pounds away in the corner. That would be because he’s an idiot in case you’re wondering. Taker gets him in Last Ride position but Edge THINKS and climbs down as no one else has thought to do. Taker shoves him off and tries a top rope elbow (I’ve seen him do that live and it’s awesome) but Edge moves and gets two.

The challenger rolls to the floor and grabs the belt but Taker grabs the chokeslam. Edge counters that as well, this time into a Russian legsweep for two. Edge goes up again but gets chokeslammed down for a delayed two. The tombstone is countered as Edge grabs the ropes. He pulls on them so hard that the buckle comes off. Taker gets rammed back first into it but manages a Last Ride attempt anyway.

Curt Hawkins of the Edgeheads runs in and hits Taker with the belt but that only gets two as well. The spear is countered into a DDT for two. The chokeslam is abandoned because of Zach Ryder interference (man that would be different today) so Taker opts for the Last Ride again. Edge rolls through into a rollup but Taker grabs Hell’s Gate for the tap out to retain. Sweet finishing sequence.

Rating: B. I was digging this one as it was the kind of interference filled match that you expected at Mania but didn’t quite get. The Mania match is better due to the atmosphere and the significance of the win, but this was still a solid match with both guys showing off some solid chemistry together. Edge would eventually get the title back and it would of course be in another good match.

Taker doesn’t let go of the hold for awhile. Vickie has to come down and the horror of her running (after being in a wheelchair) makes Taker let go. Edge gets wheeled out on a stretcher.

Orton goes up to see JBL when Punk pops up. He holds up the MITB case and says good luck tonight.

Cena and HHH combine for over 80% of the four person poll of the main event.

We recap the main event. Basically it’s the triple threat (Orton defending against Cena and HHH) from Mania with JBL thrown in. This gets the music video treatment.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. HHH vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This is no DQ and no countout with elimination rules. HHH gets a big pop and Cena gets a mixed yet louder reaction. Orton gets a lot of booing and no one cares that JBL is here too. Orton immediately gets knocked to the floor by HHH and looks like he’s about to throw up a frog. JBL jumps Cena but HHH says he’s mine and gets in a fight with Cena on his own. Orton is still hiding on the floor so Cena takes him down.

JBL knocks Cena off the apron and onto the announce table with a LOUD landing. Orton and JBL beat on HHH in the ring with the Game being in trouble. He comes back with a double clothesline and sends JBL to the floor. Orton’s shoulder hits the post and HHH goes to the floor. He sends JBL into the steps and loads up a Pedigree but JBL escapes. Cena hits the Throwback on Orton followed by the top rope Fameasser into the STFU. JBL comes back in and sets to break it up then realizes there’s no reason to do so and tells Orton to tap.

HHH grabs JBL and puts him in a Crossface right in front of Orton who is still in the STFU. JBL pokes Cena in the eye for some reason which breaks the STFU, allowing Orton to shout at JBL to tap in a funny bit. Cena knocks Orton into HHH and JBL, breaking the Crossface. Orton throws Cena to the floor again but JBL kicks Randy down for two. Orton comes back with a clothesline and goes up but gets crotched.

JBL loads up a superplex but JBL and Cena make it a Tower of Doom. Cena and the Game slug it out until Cena hits a release fisherman’s suplex for two. ProtoBomb takes HHH down again but the Shuffle is broken up by a spinebuster. HHH loads up the Pedigree but JBL tries the Clothesline for some reason. That results in an FU for him followed by the STFU for the tap. We’re down to three but Orton immediately punts Cena for the pin and we’re down to two.

So it’s Orton vs. HHH in a one on one match for the title. HHH throws him to the floor where Orton lands with a thud. Randy goes into the table but HHH goes into the steps, meaning advantage champion. Orton launches him into the barricade and into the crowd. A suplex brings HHH back to ringside and Orton poses a bit. Orton stomps on HHH back in the ring and poses some more before covering for two.

HHH tries a comeback but walks into the backbreaker for another near fall. We hit the chinlock for awhile but HHH fights out of it. Orton takes him down AGAIN, this time with the powerslam for two. The RKO is countered and they slug it out. HHH hits the high knee and both guys are down again. Facebuster gets two for the Game. He clotheslines Orton to the floor and throws him over the announce table.

Orton comes back by sending HHH into the barricade and loads up a piledriver on the steps but gets countered instead. Back inside and a spinebuster puts Orton down again. The Pedigree is countered as is the RKO and the referee goes down. The RKO hits out of nowhere but the slow cover only gets two. The Punt is countered into the Pedigree for the pin and the title for HHH.

Rating: B-. The match was good although you could pretty easily write out Cena and JBL and have the same thing. They added a bit but more than half of the match was the one on one stuff. That being said it’s probably the best match Orton and HHH ever had and is certainly better than the Mania main event they would have the next year. Not a classic or anything close to one, but for a B-level main event this was perfectly fine.

Overall Rating: B+. The show isn’t a masterpiece or anything but when almost all of the matches are good save for one which is relatively short, that’s a pretty solid show all around. Good stuff here but the year would go downhill a bit as the feuds would get driven into the ground with the same three guys dominating everything. Still though, this was a solid show and while it’s not a classic, it’s worth checking out.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Backlash 2005
Date: May 1, 2005
Location: Verizon Wireless Arena, Manchester, New Hampshire
Attendance: 14,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re back another year later and the main event is Batista vs. HHH II for Batista’s newly won title. Other than that we also have Hogan’s “one more match”, teaming with Shawn against Daivari and Muhammad Hassan. I barely remember anything from this time of the company’s history which usually means I enjoy it more because it’s a nice surprise. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Hogan with the fans chanting for one more match. The other part is about HHH vs. Batista.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Shelton Benjamin

Benjamin is defending and is still the hottest thing in the world not named Batista or Cena. He would have my favorite match of all time the next night on Raw. Jericho is here because he has nothing else to do. This was part of a really bad funk for him before he would leave in the fall, which was a really good thing for him. This is face vs. face. JR seems to forget Trish’s involvement in last year’s Backlash, saying Jericho beat Christian.

Jericho takes him down to start and apparently this is about Jericho’s singing or something. Off to an armbar by Shelton and Jericho can’t out quick him. Jericho slaps him and it turns into a fist fight. He chops the champion up against the ropes and they fight over a suplex. Jericho gets sent to the apron but manages to backdrop Shelton to the floor. Shelton lands on his feet and tries a powerbomb but Jericho ranas him down. Cool sequence but if it had been faster it would have been amazing.

Shelton gets sent into the barricade and we head back in. A suplex gets two for the Canadian and we hit the chinlock. Jericho starts playing heel in the match, choking Shelton on the bottom rope. Shelton sends him into the corner and hits a Stinger Splash to the back followed by a suplex. Jericho gets in a shot to the back but a quick Lionsault attempt is broken up. They go to the corner with Benjamin being shoved off. He JUMPS to the top rope and superplexes Jericho down. TAKE THAT ANGLE! The superplex only gets two but DANG that was cool.

The champ hooks a chinlock with a bodyscissors and Jericho is in trouble. Both guys get back up and it’s a double clothesline to put everyone down. Jericho gets up first and puts Shelton in 619 position, but Benjamin pops up and hits a Samoan Drop for two. Jericho hits the running enziguri out of nowhere for two. Shelton comes back with a HUGE springboard bulldog for two. That guy’s jumping is getting better and better.

The Canadian takes the legs out and tries the Walls (BIG pop for that) but changes to a slingshot instead. Benjamin jumps down and hits the T-Bone for two as Jericho’s feet were in the ropes. The Dragon Whip misses and Jericho hooks the Walls in the middle of the ring. Benjamin crawls over to the ropes and the fans aren’t pleased.

Jericho stomps away but Shelton comes back with kind of a falling bicycle kick to the face for two. It was like Trouble in Paradise without the spin. Lionsault is countered but Jericho countered the counter into a Walls attempt but Shelton kicks him over into a rollup. Jericho counters THAT but Shelton counters into a jackknife cradle for the pin to retain. That was a SWEET ending sequence.

Rating: B. This was a very good opener and a great way to see both guys get to show off. Jericho is the right kind of choice for this, but the next night it would be Shawn in there with Shelton and sweet goodness did they tear the house down. Anyway, this was solid stuff and the crowd is nice and woken up now. Good, good stuff.

Jericho has no comment post match.

Edge says Benoit should be worried about their match tonight. Edge stopped Benoit from becoming Mr. Money In The Bank and tonight the people want to see Benoit get his revenge. That’s not happening though, because Edge will be the last man standing, and you can bank on it.

Raw Tag Titles: Tag Team Turmoil

There are five teams in this and it’s a gauntlet. Two teams start, the winners advance, the last team standing wins. We start with The Heartthrobs vs. Regal/Tajiri, the latter of whom are the defending champions. Regal starts with Romeo Roselli with Romeo taking over. Antonio (Thomas) comes in but Regal immediately takes him to the mat. Off to Tajiri who kicks the tar out of Thomas. Tajiri hooks a freaky looking hold which is kind of like a Pedigree Lock if you can call it anything. Antonio suplexes him down for two. They go to the corner and Tajiri comes out with a sunset flip for the pin to advance.

The third team is Maven/Simon Dean. There’s no break in between either. Maven and Dean are fitness enthusiasts so they keep exercising during the matches. Simon and Tajiri start but it’s quickly off to Maven. From the apron Regal fires in a knee to Simon’s back and it’s off to William to clean house. The knee trembler gets the pin on Simon.

La Resistance is fourth and we start on the floor. Back inside for Grenier vs. Tajiri with the Japanese man kicking away with some force. The champions tag in and out pretty quickly so it’s back to Tajiri again. Conway gets Regal into the corner to pound away and everything breaks down. Here’s the Tarantula but Conway breaks it up and guillotines him, giving Grenier the pin with a handful of tights.

Hurricane and Rosey are the last team to face La Resistance. A quick Hurricane cross body gets two on Grenier. Blockbuster gets the same. Sylvan throws him over the corner and Hurricane’s ankle hits the post on the way down. Hurricane gets put in a chinlock followed by a modified belly to back suplex for two. An awful looking middle rope elbow misses and it’s off to Rosey with no one caring. A World’s Strongest Slam gets two on Grenier and everything breaks down. The French dudes hit a double spinebuster on Rosey for two. The good guys do a Snuka/Andre double climbing splash (as in Hurricane fell on Grenier) for the titles.

Rating: D. The problem I have with these matches as well as Cruiserweight Opens is that the matches all end in about four minutes. The longest here was under 4:10, which makes you wonder why other matches last longer than that ever. It’s not like these matches are impressive or anything as they’re really just collections of squashes and quick falls, which aren’t interesting and it’s just the luck of the draw for the most part. Hurricane and Rosey would go on to be some of the most forgotten tag champions ever.

We recap Edge vs. Benoit. This started in the MITB match where Benoit had a bad arm coming in. He almost had the case and therefore the match won, but Edge hit him in the arm with a chair. In theory that’s legal but I guess for some reason it’s evil because Edge did it or something? They had a match on Raw which Benoit won on an almost fluke rollup. Edge destroyed him and his arm even more post match. Bischoff made a last man standing match as a result.

Edge vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit’s arm isn’t taped but he’s a sneaky Canadian so it might be fake. Benoit immediately takes him down and we’re on. Chris pounds on him a bit as the fans chant YOU SCREWED BRET. Geez it even happens in America at this show. We go tot he corner for the chopping as this is all Benoit so far. Edge gets in a shot to take over and the fans want Matt. They would get him in a few months. A spear attempt is countered by a drop toehold and it’s back to even.

Benoit drives in knees to a downed Edge but the taller Canadian comes back with a shot to the head. They go to the floor and Edge finds a garbage can lid, but Benoit baseball slides him down before it can be used. Edge gets backdropped into the crowd and Chris heads out there with him. Back into the ring and Benoit hooks a quick Sharpshooter to make Edge tap but it doesn’t matter here.

With Edge barely back to his feet, Benoit snaps off the Rolling Germans to send Edge to the floor, drawing an eight count. Benoit knocks him right back off the apron again, this time for another eight. Chris tries a suicide dive but gets his head blasted in by a trashcan lid on the way down. That gets a seven so Edge bashes him again, this time getting six. A fan keeps chanting that Edge cheated on his wife, which is true but has little relevance here.

Back into the ring and Edge loads up a superplex onto a trashcan which has Benoit’s legs twitching. Edge is down too but gets up at seven while Benoit is up at eight. Edge hits a running knee to the head and wears him out with a trashcan lid. Naturally it’s time for a ladder, but Edge climbs with his back to Benoit. There’s the German suplex off the ladder and both guys are down. That draws a double eight and Benoit is getting frustrated.

Another release German puts Edge down, this time getting about seven. With Edge still down, Benoit goes up and launches a Swan Dive at Edge but misses, driving his head into the mat. Edge finds the briefcase but Benoit grabs the Crossface before getting hit in the face. Back up and it’s time for MORE Rolling Germans. Edge finally escapes and hits the Edgecution onto the briefcase. Of course, that only gets 9. Edge spears him down for nine. Benoit gets up so Edge spears him down for nine. Benoit gets up so Edge pulls a brick out of the briefcase and blasts Benoit with that for the ten count and the win.

Rating: B. For some reason I see Bobby Heenan smiling at Edge doing that. It’s just such a Brain sounding move. I was digging this, but given what we knew would come about two years later, those shots to the head of Benoit are very hard to watch anymore. Edge was put over here which was the important thing, as he needed wins like these to move up the ladder over the course of the year.

Lita (looking GOOD) is in the back watching and smiles. Kane comes in and asks if she’s ready to help take out Viscera. There’s some kind of a deal where if Viscera loses, Trish has to sleep with him or something. Kane and Lita make out because Kane is a lucky man.

Here’s Lawler to promote the Viva Las Divas magazine. He brings out the girls and this is probably why there are only six matches on the card. We see every chick’s favorite photo to fill in some time. Lawler says he’s going to ask a lot of personal questions but here’s Chris Masters. The girls all leave and Masters says it’s time for a Masterlock Challenge. This time it’s a girl with very short hair, who apparently is indy wrestler Melissa Coates. Masters wins easily.

Trish leaves her locker room and runs into Viscera. Ok apparently if he wins, they have a date. He has some lingerie for her and this is awkward.

Kane vs. Viscera

Kane runs into Viscera and bounces off of him. He kicks Viscera tot he floor and dives onto Visc to take over. The fans still want Matt. Back in and Viscera hits the wheel kick and we get a pelvic thrust. Kane goes after Trish for some reason but gets splashed and caught in a Samoan Drop for two. Sidewalk slam gets the same. Kane gets in a boot to the face and the top rope clothesline looks to set up the chokeslam, but Visc elbows out of it.

A clothesline puts Kane on the floor but Viscera runs into the post. Trish goes after Kane with a chair for some reason but Lita blasts her with a crutch (Lita had a bad knee). Back in Kane goes up but dives into a choke bomb for two. Lita gets in the ring for some reason and Visc tries to kiss her, but Kane comes back with a big boot and a chokslam for the pin.

Rating: D. This was a boring match for the most part and I really don’t get what the idea of this was supposed to be at all. So did Trish want to sleep with Visc or something? Why else would she have gone after Kane like that? Either way it made little sense and the match wasn’t any good either.

Trish yells at Viscera post match and says even if he had won, she wouldn’t have slept with him. She says she’ll get a real man so he picks her up, shakes her, and then splashes her, which I think was supposed to be a face turn. Trish is taken out on a stretcher.

We recap Hogan/Shawn vs. Daivari/Hassan. Hogan went into the HOF the night before Wrestlemania 21, Hogan beat up Hassan and Daivari at Mania 21, they beat up Shawn, Shawn asked Hogan to be his partner for one more match, and here we are.

Hulk Hogan/Shawn Michaels vs. Muhammad Hassan/Daivari

Hogan and Hassan get us going with Hogan drawing a line on the mat. He easily shoves Hassan away and grabs a headlock. There goes the bandana and the evil ones beat on Hogan in the corner. Hulk runs them both over with a clothesline and Hassan gets beaten on now, despite being illegal. Off to Shawn for a double big boot and it’s Michaels in full control again.

Michaels misses an elbow and it’s off to Daivari. Hogan comes back in as this is a total squash so far. Out to the floor and Hogan puts a Hogan hat on Daivari before punching him. Is that some inner self hate manifesting itself perhaps? Back in for some elbow drops and a boot to the eyes. Shawn comes back in and the beating continues. He chops Daivari down, followed by the forearm and nip up.

The top rope elbow hits and Shawn tunes up the band, but Hogan goes after Hassan. While he’s being put out, Hassan hits Shawn in the bac with a pipe of some kind for two. Hassan works on the back and it’s back to Daivari for a hold. Back to the chinlock before the camel clutch goes on. The hold stays on long enough to make it look completely ineffective until Shawn breaks it with an electric chair. Hot tag to Hogan, house is cleaned. His hip is messed up though so he can’t use the legdrop though, so Hassan hits him in the back with the pipe. That draws the Hulk Up and it’s big boot, superkick, pin on Daivari.

Rating: D+. This was just to get the crowd all fired up and on that regard it worked, but other than that there wasn’t much in this at all. It was basically a long and extended squash with Hogan picking up the win to give the people a feel good moment. Also it set up the reason for them to be around each other again in the future, which set up Summerslam.

HHH says Batista got lucky and the Pedigree will take care of Batista.

Here are Christian and Tomko for no apparent reason. He says this may be the last time you see him on a Raw PPV because there’s a Draft coming. Christian wants to express himself so he’s going to rap for us. He makes fun of the main eventers….and that’s about it.

We recap the main event. HHH and Batista were in Evolution together before Batista got hot and won the Rumble. He beat HHH at Mania but HHH says that was just one lucky night. This is the rematch.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Batista

HHH goes right at him and tries a fast Pedigree but Big Dave quickly escapes. The exact same thing happens but with Batista trying the Bomb. A backdrop puts HHH down as we’re still kind of in an opening phase here. Another Pedigree attempt is countered into a backdrop to the floor. Batista follows but gets rammed into the barricade and suplexed on the floor. They head back inside and Batista’s spine is getting worked over. Batista tries a quick Bomb but HHH gets in a shot to break it up.

HHH drives his shoulders into the back of Batista in the corner and sends him to the floor so Flair can get in some shots. Back in and HHH hits a spinebuster for two after a quick slugout. This match isn’t flowing all that well at all. Batista grabs a side slam out of nowhere and clotheslines HHH out to the floor. Back in and Batista starts shaking the ropes. Flair tries to get in which allows HHH to get a belt shot in for two.

They slug it out for a bit and another Pedigree attempt is countered. Batista is all fired up now but he clotheslines the referee down. Pedigree hits but the referee’s head is somewhere over Hoboken. Flair throws him back in but the guy is out cold. Another referee comes out and Batista hits a spinebuster for a close two. Batista hits a bunch of clotheslines in the corner but HHH kicks the referee low.

Batista loads up the Bomb but it draws in Flair. HHH tries the Pedigree for the 8^th time but gets catapulted into the corner. ANOTHER Batista Bomb attempt is counted by a low blow but HHH channels his inner lunkhead and goes into the corner for punches. He deserves the Batista Bomb that he gets as well as the loss that it brings him.

Rating: D. This was really dull as it was about 70% finisher attempts. Power vs. power rarely works and it didn’t work here for the most part. Yes HHH jobbed which is a lot of what made Batista look legit, but the match was horrible. Batista needs someone that he can dominate rather than someone who is going to do nothing but try Pedigrees. This was a really bad main event.

Overall Rating: D. The show was ok, but what in the world changed here? Batista keeps the title, Hogan/Shawn meant nothing at all for months, and Edge beats Benoit in a match that didn’t mean anything. The first half of 2005 was such a weak time but the Draft would bring that Cena guy to Raw which would change everything in wrestling. This was a pretty forgettable show though, but it’s not completely horrible.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 2, 2005
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Now that I’m done with all of the pay per views, I’m going to take a small break and do a show that I’ve wanted to talk about for awhile. This show is built around finding a #1 contender for Batista who is Raw World Champion at the moment. Therefore, we need to have a tournament. There’s one match on this show that I’m reviewing it for and for you KB trivia fans out there, it’s my favorite match ever. Let’s get to it.

We open in the back with Batista hitting on Christy Hemme. Bischoff comes up and tells Batista he did well last night against HHH, so tonight we’re starting the Gold Rush Tournament with the winner getting a shot at Batista. The eight people know they’re in but they don’t know who they’re facing until the announcer says their name. Batista is told he has the night off but he says he wants a match tonight. Batista says he wants Bischoff and it looks like he wants to rape him. Eric screams and Batista implies he’s only kidding.

Gold Rush Tournament First Round: Christian vs. Kane

Tomko is with Christian here and Lita is on a crutch with Kane. Christian talks trash to Kane to start and that’s just not smart. Kane shoves him from the middle of the ring and out to the floor with ease. Back in and a big boot puts the Canadian down and an uppercut puts him outside again. Christian sends Kane into the steps to take over. He hits a springboard crossbody to the floor and Kane is put down again.

That gets two in the ring and Christian chokes away in the corner. Kane shrugs all that off and throws Christian into the air in retaliation. Chokeslam is countered and Christian hooks a sleeper. Kane counters that into a side slam but Tomko breaks up the top rope clothesline. Unprettier is countered but Tomko gets on the apron. Kane sends Christian into him and the chokeslam sends Kane to the semifinals.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t bad but it was just a step above a squash. Christian would be gone to TNA a few months after this but he went down in the midcard so at least he advanced a bit. There wasn’t much here as Kane pretty much dominated Christian the entire time. It could have been worse though.

Tomko gets a chokeslam post match.

Flair makes fun of Christian for losing. Flair “raps”, and says HHH will win the tournament. The 80s just died a bit.

Muhammad Hassan complains about not being in the tournament and blames Hogan, Shawn, the fans, and Daivari for the loss last night. Daivari gets beaten down but he still follows Hassan to the back.

Here’s Viscera who talks about how he loves women. He wants to go south of the border and looks at Lillian. Simon Dean comes out to keep this from getting even more uncomfortable. He offers Viscera a lifetime supply of the Simon System products and that ticks the fat man off.

Viscera vs. Simon Dean

Simon makes a bunch of fat jokes and gets run over. Viscera puts him in the Tree of Woe and crushes him but misses an elbow. That gets Dean nowhere as a chokeslam and splash literally squash him. This was nothing.

Viscera says he’s back on the market.

Candice and Stacy are in the back to plug Stacy’s STUFF Magazine photo shoot. Bischoff comes up to double the plugs and walks on to his office. HHH is waiting there and wants to know why this tournament exists. It should be his title shot because he got screwed out of the title last night. Bischoff says HHH gets his rematch if he wins the tournament. Until then, get out of the office.

Benjamin is in the tournament and says he isn’t nervous because he’s the Intercontinental Champion. He has to be ready for anyone at any time, but Jericho interrupts. Jericho lost to Shelton last night and Jericho seems to respect Shelton now. Jericho is in the tournament and says he might be Shelton’s opponent. Shelton wishes Jericho luck and they shake hands.

Gold Rush Tournament First Round: Shelton Benjamin vs. Shawn Michaels

This is the match that I was talking about. Shawn is back in the world title hunt after going after Muhammad Hassan for a few months. Shelton is on fire at this point so this is going to be great. They immediately hit the mat and Shelton dominates as you would expect him to. Shawn grabs a hammerlock and they hit the mat again. Shelton rides him again and Shawn has to head to the ropes to get a break.

Shelton takes him back to the mat but Shawn easily gets back up. A cradle gets two for Shawn out of nowhere and it’s followed by a forearm to take over. Shelton comes back with a clothesline and both guys go to the floor. We take a break and come back with Shelton countering a belly to back superplex into a cross body off the top but he can’t cover. Batista is watching in the back.

Shelton hits a Samoan Drop and both guys are down again. Things speed up and Shelton gets two off a backbreaker. Shawn hits the forearm and nips up, but Shelton nips up a second later, freaking Shawn out. We get a fast paced pinfall reversal sequence and Shawn takes Shelton down with a hard chop. Benjamin comes back with the Stinger Splash in the corner but the T-Bone is broken up.

Sweet Chin Music is caught and the Dragon Whip gets two. That sounded GREAT and JR’s commentary is only making this better. Shelton loads up a superplex but Shawn knocks him down and hits the elbow for two. Another Chin Music attempt is countered by a high kick for a VERY close two. Shelton jumps from the mat to the top rope and hits a spinning clothesline for another two. This is getting better and better with each kickout. Shelton gets sent to the apron and tries a springboard, but he jumps right into the Sweet Chin Music in an incredible spot. Shelton is DEAD and Shawn advances. That never gets old.

Rating: A+. It’s my favorite match ever. What grade did you expect me to give it? Also, this probably furthers Shawn’s record of most A+ matches for a single guy held by Shawn. The last few minutes of this has some of the best near falls on TV that I’ve ever seen. This is easily one of the best TV matches of all time. The only issue I have with it: what was Shelton going for at the end other than diving into the kick? I’ve never gotten that. The idea here was simple: Shawn was fighting himself from ten years ago. That’s very interesting and it worked like a masterpiece here.

Edge says he’s in the tournament because he wants another shot to go with his MITB contract. Apparently if he gets drafted, he loses the shot in the case. Ok then. Edge says he’ll be champion and goes up to Lita and Victoria. Victoria says she’s looking at nothing. Nothing here.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Hurricane/Rosey

Hurricane and Rosey won the belts last night in tag team turmoil. Rosey gets jumped before the match starts and the fat man gets to start with Grenier. A Hart Attack gets two on Rosey and it’s off to Conway. Back to Grenier for nothing of note and it’s back to Conway. Rosey breaks free and it’s off to Hurricane. No one is responding to any of this at all. A top rope rana gets two on Grenier and Conway is sent to the floor. A side slam/Eye of the Hurricane combo gets the pin on Grenier to retain.

Rating: D. What in the world was the point of this other than filling in time? The answer to that would be nothing, as it was nothing but filler. These four guys were in the horrible spot on the card as they had to be thrown out there in between the major matches and had to fill in time. That’s a horrible spot to be in but at least they got on the show which is more than Hurricane and Rosey would do for a long time.

Gold Rush Tournament First Round: Chris Jericho vs. Edge

Jericho works on the arm to start and sends Edge into the buckle over and over. He goes up but Edge shoves him over the top rope and out to the floor. Back in and a backbreaker gets two. Off to a chinlock which is quickly broken and Batista is watching in the back. Edge stops to dance but misses a charge, getting sent into the ropes for his dancing abilities. Jericho speeds things up and hits the running hip attack to Edge’s back while Edge is in 619 position. That really needs a name.

Jericho hits an enziguri for two and stays on Edge. A sleeper drop gets two for Jericho but the bulldog is escaped. A big boot puts Jericho down but as Edge goes to get the case, Jericho hits the springboard dropkick to send it into Edge’s face. Jericho takes Edge down with a plancha but back inside Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic for two. Jericho counters the spear into the Walls but Edge makes the rope. As the referee tries to break it up, Edge gets in a case shot and a missile dropkick gets two for Edge. A spear sends Edge to the next round.

Rating: B-. This was getting good for awhile but Edge using the case was a cheap ending. At least it was new at this point and it hadn’t been driven into the ground yet. Edge would spend most of the rest of the year feuding with Matt Hardy while Jericho would do next to nothing until leaving in August. Good match but it needed a few more minutes.

Here’s Chris Masters for the Masterlock Challenge. He offers four grand and an autographed Red Sox jersey. A plant is brought in and this goes as well as you would expected it to.

Gold Rush Tournament First Round: Chris Benoit vs. HHH

A quick Pedigree is countered into a Crossface attempt but HHH escapes. Benoit escapes a belly to back suplex but can’t hook the Sharpshooter. Another Crossface attempt is countered and they head outside. Back in and HHH clotheslines him in the back of the head to take over. They head to the floor and Benoit’s eyes are absolutely bugging out of his head. It looks like something from a comedy horror movie actually.

We take a break and come back with Benoit’s eyes still messed up. That’s so scary when you look at things now. HHH drops a knee on the back of the head for two. Benoit comes back with some chops but gets caught in a sleeper. After a few moments it gets broken up via HHH being sent into the buckle but Benoit can’t follow up. A belly to back suplex puts HHH down as does a German suplex but HHH elbows him in the head to escape.

Now the Rolling Germans hit and the Swan Dive gets a very delayed two. Benoit is looking scarier and scarier with every hit to that head. HHH charges but gets caught in the Sharpshooter. Flair is brought in and chopped in the corner but HHH hits Benoit in the head and the referee goes down. Cue Batista who cleans house, including a spinebuster to HHH. Benoit puts on the Sharpshooter and Batista pulls the rope away so HHH has to tap.

Rating: B. This was a good match but the Benoit stuff was scary at times. Even taking out what we would learn about him later on, this was some bad stuff, as Benoit’s eyes were all over the place during some of the match. Those shots to the head looked vicious and it was hard to watch. The ending was good too as Batista’s smile was great when he was holding the rope away. Good match.

Overall Rating: A. With five matches on the card and three of them being above average to great and the other two being short, what more can you ask for from a show? This was excellent from a wrestling perspective and the stories advanced well enough. I can’t ask for much more than this which is a great surprise in a show from 2005. This is well worth tracking down.

 Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: August 1, 2006
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Back to the land of Extreme for another episode, this one being from an old ECW stomping ground. It’s hard to say what the crowd is going to think here but you know that the fans are going to be behind the ECW originals which is so cute because they think those people still mean a thing in this new company. It’s hard to say what to really expect here other than that. Let’s get to it.

The outside challenger of the week is Batista.

Sandman/Tommy Dreamer vs. Test/Mike Knox

This is EXTREME Rules and I guess the blowoff to their month long feud. Sandman of course gets busted open on the way to the ring with the beer can. The fans get on Kelly (lucky) and it’s Dreamer vs. Test to start. It occurs to them that they don’t have to tag so everything breaks down quickly. Sandman fires off a dropkick to the shock and awe of the announcers. Knox kills Sandman with a shoulder and the non-ECW guys take over.

Test gets the Singapore Cane but Dreamer saves Sandman from a caining. The Extremists bust out the weapons in the form of some trashcans but the fans want tables. Since it’s ECW, Dreamer and Sandman bust out some barbed wire boards to pop the crowd. Knox avoids going into it and Test saves him from a double suplex through it. Dreamer is busted and the fans think that Test takes steroids. Gee what gave you THAT idea?

Test goes shoulder first into the post as Dreamer is gushing blood. Oh wait that was just one side of his head. Sandman finds his cane but Kelly shields Knox. Sandy actually thinks for once and moves her out of the way so he can cane Knox up the aisle. Dreamer leans down to kiss Kelly but spanks her instead. Heyman and his security guards come out and beat down Dreamer, putting him through the board. Test throws him through it again and gets the easy pin with a TKO.

Rating: C. Not a bad brawl here and I’m certainly not complaining about the upskirt shots of Kelly that we got, but it’s the same thing I’ve said week after week so far: the ECW guys mean nothing at all in this modern incarnation. Test wasn’t going to be able to be pushed anywhere else so this is the best that they could do. The match was ok I guess but the Heyman security guards stuff was as weak as you could get.

Hogan is at Summerslam. Can you EVER imagine Hogan in ECW?

Heyman talks to his security and runs into Nunzio. Nothing is said so Heyman keeps walking until he finds Sabu. Still no title match.

Punk tells us about discipline until the battle begins when he’ll unleash his rage.

CM Punk vs. Justin Credible

The fans LOUDLY chant for Punk who is known as an indy legend at this point. Punk takes him to the mat with ease and makes Credible look stupid for fun. They go into the corner and Punk hooks an Anaconda Vice/Tarantula hybrid. Credible gets in some offense but Punk comes back with the kicks. Justin hits some rolling suplexes for two. Off to a half crab which doesn’t last long. Springboard clothesline gets two. Corner knee, bulldog, high kick, Vice and we’re done.

Rating: C. This was your usual debuting squash. Credible got in some more offense than your usual jobber would, but that’s because he’s not your usual jobber. He’s a jobber with a stupid name. Not much to see here from the Straightedge one, but obviously he would go on to have some far better days.

Video on Batista.

Shannon Moore is on a subway.

Brooklyn Brawler is in the ring and says he’s too hardcore for Raw or Smackdown.

Brooklyn Brawler vs. Kurt Angle

Ankle lock. Do you really need another detail?

Video on Big Show.

Ariel says that Kevin Thorn will take over. Thorn says nothing of note.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Batista

Batista’s reaction is pretty mixed. There are definitely cheers though. The fans want RVD but they get a muscle head from the WWE isntead. Then the music stops and Batista gets on the ropes where the people just rip into him. They do the big match intros and Batista is loudly booed. Then again they’re not that thrilled with Big Show either. We get a loud YOU BOTH SUCK and it’s off. They fight over a power advantage to start as Joey and Tazz have to ignore the fans.

Batista escapes an arm hold and pounds Show down to the floor as we take a break. Back with Show in control as the fans are ranting about the match again. Show flips them all off and the announcers have to ignore them again. Chokeslam is broken up but Show clotheslines him down. There’s what sounds like a boring chant. Now it’s CHANGE THE CHANNEL. Show slams him down but his Vader Bomb is broken up by Big Dave. A superplex puts both guys down.

Big Dave avoids a charge and hits his shoulders in the corner. Some clotheslines don’t do much so he spears Show down for two. Now the chant is BORING. Chokeslam out of nowhere gets two. Show grabs the belt but walks into the spinebuster. The Bomb is countered into the Final Cut for two. And never mind as the belt shot draws the LAME DQ.

Rating: D+. The problem here is the crowd. The match itself wasn’t that bad. It was your standard main event power match and could have been a watchable match on TV or PPV with few complaints being made. Well ok everyone would complain about the bad ending but the rest of the match was fine. That being said, the fans flat out did not want to see this at all and they were very vocal about it. Not the wrestlers’ fault though.

Post match Sabu (who was thrown out earlier) comes out and beats up Show with a chair to pop the crowd. Show falls through a table and Sabu poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. You can clearly tell that things are changing here but the most important thing is they’re getting a formula down. The show isn’t that bad although it’s certainly not what I’d call good. It’s more or less just there at this point and considering how bad the earlier episodes were, that’s a major compliment. Not a great show or anything but for an hour of wrestling, this was fine.

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Smackdown
Date: October 9, 2009
Location: Sovereign Bank Arena, Trenton, New Jersey
Commentators: Jim Ross, Todd Grisham

I don’t remember why this was requested but it’s one of the few times someone has wanted to see a relatively recent Smackdown. On the card tonight we have Punk vs. Batista which should be worth checking out. Other than that I have no idea what to expect (well ok so I do but it sounds better the other way) which is usually fun so let’s get to it.

Let It Roll baby.

Undertaker won the title in the Cell recently so he’s here tonight. Also it’s Rey vs. Jericho which should be good.

Here’s Teddy to open things up. This is just after the HIAC PPV. Teddy congratulates Taker for winning the title and says it proves that Smackdown is the dominant brand. In three weeks it’s Bragging Rights. I think I was at Smackdown the week after this (further review: I was). Teddy talks about the Orton vs. Cena match at the PPV and if Cena loses he’s off Raw forever. They’d love to have him on Smackdown of course.

This brings out Punk for some reason and he’s limping badly. He talks about how Smackdown needs focus rather than John Cena and right now Teddy needs to focus on him. If there’s going to be a #1 contender named, it better be him. The match against Batista tonight isn’t fair after he was in the Cell just five days ago. Punk wants Undertaker in a submission match and he wants Scott Armstrong (semi-crooked referee) at ringside. Teddy says no and Punk says he’s calling the shots.

That brings out Vince in a surprise appearance. Vince talks about how Teddy is still on probation and that’s not good. What Long was about to announce isn’t going to please anyone. Vince informs Teddy that it’ll be Undertaker defending against Punk, Batista and Mysterio. And speaking of Mysterio, let’s have our first match.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho

This should be good. Jericho is half of the tag champions here. Jericho and Show beat Mysterio and Batista on Sunday to retain so there’s the story behind the match. They start off fast of course with Mysterio tossing Jericho to the floor where he hits a plancha. The crowd is almost silent for some reason. Back in Jericho takes his head off with a clothesline, followed by kicks to the back.

Mysterio takes him down with a headscissors but gets caught and thrown into the air to put the Canadian right back into control. Jericho throws him under the bottom rope so Mysterio can do his land on his chest landing. Back from a break with Jericho holding a chinlock. Jericho hits an enziguri for two and drapes Mysterio over the top rope. After a quick skirmish on the floor Jericho loads up a belly to back superplex but instead goes for the mask.

Rey knocks him off and hits the seated senton as things speed up. Jericho tries a sunset flip but Rey rolls through and hits a seated dropkick for two. Jericho grabs the feet and tries the Walls but Rey rolls him up for a close two. Backbreaker gets two for Chris. The bulldog is countered and Rey puts him in 619 position but Jericho moves. Rey tries a springboard but jumps into the Walls. He can’t make a rope but he gets underneath Jericho and kicks him into 619 position. That and a slingshot splash are good for the pin.

Rating: B-. Good match here but did you expect anything else? They got to do their usual stuff and the ending was solid on top of that. This would put Rey higher on the totem poll than Jericho which makes sense as Jericho was in the Bragging Rights match instead of the world title match. Good stuff here but not as good as their stuff from earlier in the year.

Back to Raw for a clip from Ben Rothelisberger hosting the show.

WORD UP’s word of the week is Eve. She pops up in the video and that’s about it.

Eve Torres vs. Michelle McCool

Michelle is Women’s Champion. McCool takes her into the corner but Eve fires back. Eve controls for a few seconds but Michelle hits a running knee to take over. Michelle wraps up Eve’s arms and rams the back of Eve’s head into Michelle’s chest. That’s a different one. Eve comes back with dropkicks and a small package for two. And never mind as Michelle kicks her head off for the pin.

Rating: C-. It’s amazing how far this division has fallen in the last two and a half years. Laycool was so ridiculously better than anyone else for a long time and then they both left and the division fell off a cliff. When you go from Michelle and Layla down to Kelly Kelly, the ring quality goes down a lot, which is saying something when Laycool wasn’t great in the ring to begin with.

Vickie is in the back with whatever boyfriend she has this week. Oh it’s Eric Escobar. No wonder I didn’t recognize him. Teddy comes in and Vickie complains about Escobar to not have a match tonight. She complains about Punk not getting a rematch and complains about the Undertaker being treated unfairly. Huh? Teddy says it was Vince’s idea and Vickie is incensed. Eric speaks Spanish and Teddy has no idea what he said. Escobar would be off TV before the end of the year and released in January.

Intercontinental Title: John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler

John is defending. Feeling out process to start and they head to the mat. Dolph winds up on top for a bit until Morrison hooks an armbar. That gets broken up quickly so it’s time for a headlock. Ziggler fights out of that so Morrison hits a backbreaker and Russian legsweep for two. Maria is at ringside because she was dating Ziggler I think. In a cool move, Ziggler grabs Morrison’s leg but Morrison dives forward and swings his other foot over his head to kick Ziggler in the head (called a Pele by JR).

Morrison misses a corner charge and Ziggler grabs a bridging German suplex for two. Stinger Splash hits for two as does a jumping elbow drop. There’s a reverse chinlock and sweet goodness Maria is gorgeous. Ziggler stomps him in the corner and hits a powerslam for two. Back to the chinlock but Morrison stands up and comes out with an electric chair drop to escape.

Slugout goes to the champion and he’s getting all fired up. Leg lariat takes Dolph down and the standing shooting star gets two. John cross bodies him to the floor and they’re both down. Ziggler throws him back in and steals Maria’s chair. Maria takes it back without Dolph seeing her. Dolph hits a dropkick and goes for the chair (without taking care of the referee first) but after yelling at Maria he walks into the Flying Chuck (Disaster Kick) for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty solid match but the reversals were going slowly for some reason. They were fine and worked well for what they were going for but it wasn’t anything great. Morrison is great in the ring and as long as he can keep his big mouth shut and can stay away from Melina, he’ll be back in WWE someday.

Video on Taker’s seven world title wins. Did we mention he got the belt back?

After a break Ziggler won’t talk to Maria. He winds up yelling at her and says to stay out of his professional life. As for his personal life, they’re done.

Rey is in the back and Batista comes in. Rey hopes Batista isn’t upset about the loss on Sunday but Batista says it’s cool. They both think they’ll win at Bragging Rights.

R-Truth/Matt Hardy vs. Kane/Drew McIntyre

This is when McIntyre was pretty new and unstoppable. That’s quite a strange partner for him. I kind of miss Truth doing his own song. Drew still has a very generic rock song. Matt and Drew start us off and it’s time for arm work. Off to Truth as Drew is in trouble. Drew makes a blind tag and Truth messes up his spinning kick. Kane comes in to run over Truth and hits his low dropkick for two. After a quick exchange, Truth sends Kane into the buckle and it’s off to Matt vs. Drew. Everything breaks down and Drew sends Matt into Kane for an uppercut, followed by the Futureshock for the pin on Hardy.

Rating: D+. Not much here as they didn’t have a ton of time. McIntyre would take the title off Morrison soon enough but it wouldn’t lead anywhere. Hardy would feud with McIntyre eventually while Truth would go on to become crazy in about a year and a half with not much else in between. Kane would float around until the summer when he would FINALLY win the world title again.

Here’s Undertaker for his latest speech. The belt does look good on him. He talks about how the title is so important and that’s why he needs to hold it. He talks about the world title match at the PPV and says Punk won’t be as lucky at Bragging Rights as he was in the Cell. He’ll take out Batista and Rey as well. That’s about it.

Batista vs. CM Punk

There’s a lot of time for this. Punk immediately goes to the floor and it’s time to stall. We finally get some contact and Punk gets sent to the ropes. Batista takes him into the corner and rams him with a clothesline. Punk to the floor again but he manages to guillotine him on the top rope. A springboard clothesline fails but Punk escapes the Batista Bomb as we take a break.

Back with Batista suplexing Punk for two. The high kick is countered into an ankle lock of all things. Punk runs to the floor again and catches Batista coming in with a kick to the head and then a knee lift. Off to the chinlock and into a headscissors as JR makes the alays stupid statement of the two being the same size on the mat.

Batista comes up and hits the Bossman Slam to put both guys down. Now Grisham tries to be witty by saying that Batista knocked the air out of the man from the windy city. Cross body is countered into a powerslam for two. Punk gets a quick comeback but walks into a spinebuster. He bails to the floor and Batista tries the Bomb out there. Punk grabs the top rope and kicks Batista away before sliding back in for the countout win.

Rating: C. See, now that was a clever ending. Why is that such a rare thing to come by nowadays? It played into the idea that Punk was trying to stay away from Batista as well as giving us a nice surprise instead of making Batista look unbeatable. That gives you another challenger in the PPV Title match instead of just the obvious Big Dave. The match wasn’t great up until the ending though.

Batista powerbombs Punk anyway post match.

Overall Rating: C+. This show flew by and in a mostly good way. They set up the PPV title match and on the next show we would start setting up the big tag match. Since there were only five matches on the card, the PPV wouldn’t take much more than that to build it up. The show tonight was good and certainly entertaining enough. Good stuff.

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No Mercy 2007
Date: October 7, 2007
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

For you WrestleZone enthusiasts, this is the first PPV I ever did an LD for. For those of you that have no idea what I just said, I’d recommend a Yoo-Hoo and some store brand cookies. Anyway, this is the HHH show as Cena is injured, so it’s HHH wrestling three times to take his place. First of all, he has to get the world title so we’ll get to that part first. This is one of the shows that made the number of title reigns stupid for reasons we’ll get to later. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the Book of Genesis and how Cena’s rain (as in the rain of Noah) is over. The idea is that there’s a guaranteed new champion tonight.

We open the show with Vince and his lackey Regal. Oh ok Regal is GM. Vince says that Cena is no longer champion, thereby ending his year long reign. The fans chant for Y2J but Vince says no. Jericho was still yet to return as the SAVE US videos had been airing already. Instead the new champion is the #1 contender, Randy Orton. Orton comes out and gets a big pyro display when he takes the title off the stand it was on.

Orton has to defend it tonight but he gets to hand pick his opponent. The fans again chant for Y2J and Vince goes into EVIL mode, saying to shut up because the champion is about to speak. Orton says he won’t be defending against Cena tonight because he’s the latest name on the list of Orton’s victims. He says there’s no one that can stand up to him….and here’s HHH to a big ovation.

HHH says he knows Orton will be a fighting champion, so how about a title match right here and now? Orton says no so HHH says that Orton must not want his second title reign to be shorter than his first. The people cheer so HHH says that it’s clearly what the people want and that’s what Vince does, but Vince still says no. The Game calls the Boss a balless coward and that he has raisins, not grapefruits. That does it so ring the bell.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

Vince distracts HHH and Orton gets in a cheap shot to take over. That lasts about 5 seconds as HHH elbows him down. Orton bails to the floor and tries to take a walk but HHH stops him. Orton heads to the floor again and HHH stops him again. Back in HHH knees him down but his suplex is countered into the backbreaker for two. HHH slugs back but walks into the powerslam for two.

Here come the stomps as Orton was still in that slow motion period of his career. You know, the one that ran for like 5 years. Chinlock time which HHH breaks out of and clotheslines Orton down. Another clothesline in the corner crushes Randy and it’s time for a superplex. HHH’s feet hit the mat a bit there so the landing was a little awkward. Either way it just gets two.

Orton tries to charge at HHH but walks into a spinebuster for two. HHH sends him to the floor and then back in, but on the way back inside he walks into the elevated DDT for two. The kickout got a big reaction. RKO and Pedigree are both countered but Orton walks into a knee to the head. HHH hooks a Figure Four and a good one at that. That gets escaped and HHH goes up but gets crotched. Orton charges into the post and HHH rolls him up for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here but it only ran about eleven minutes so they didn’t have a ton of time to get anything going. This is one of the instances where I was talking about the title reigns meaning nothing, as one of Orton’s current nine reigns lasted a total of about 15 minutes. Anyway the match wasn’t that bad and having the ending be something other than a finisher into a pin was a nice change of pace.

HHH celebrates for a good long while.

Orton is freaked out in the back and runs into Vince. Nothing is said.

Jeff Hardy/Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Mr. Kennedy

This is a bonus match, Jeff is the IC Champion and the country boys are the Raw tag champions. The tag champs say they have a new partner to keep another fluke like the one on Raw from happening. Cade and Kendrick start things off and it’s quickly off to London. Murdoch comes in and gets taken apart by a double teaming from Hardy and London. Trevor runs Hardy over with a clothesline and it’s off to Kennedy with a big pop.

Kennedy misses a charge and Hardy tags in Kendrick. Cade is in as well and Murdoch low bridges Brian to the floor. Kendrick plays Ricky Morton for awhile as Kennedy chokes him in the corner. A BIG boot in the corner gets two. Cravate keeps Kendrick down and he still can’t make a tag. Back to Cade who loads up a superplex but Kendrick headbutts his way out of it and a tornado DDT puts Cade down.

Double tags bring in Jeff and Trevor and Hardy tries that sitout gordbuster of his. He drops Murdoch though and Trevor LANDS ON THE TOP OF HIS HEAD. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Swanton would get the pin but Murdoch rolls to the floor to check if he’s dead. London vs. Kennedy now and Kennedy is put down with a spinwheel kick. Hardy misses whatever he was going for as Kendrick and Murdoch fall to the floor. Kennedy gets London on top and the rolling fireman’s carry slam off the middle rope gets the pin.

Rating: C-. Considering Murdoch is still alive, this at least ends on a positive note. The ending was cool too and with this being a bonus match, there’s only so much criticism I can give this match. It did its job, although I kind of wonder what the ads for this show were like given that there was a big ten minute hole in it and they already had a 15 minute talking segment to open things up.

HHH and Batista, both world champions at the moment, run into each other in the back. Batista says someone once told him that it’s a lot easier to win it than to keep it. Batista has a Punjabi Prison match against Khali later. Great. Dave leaves and HHH runs into Vince. Vince says he gives the people what they want and there was a match advertised between HHH and Umaga, which is what the people are going to get. The title is on the line.

ECW Title: Big Daddy V vs. CM Punk

V is challenging and has Striker with him. This was supposed to be Dreamer vs. Punk but GM Estrada did something to stop that. Punk is the hometown boy so you know he gets a big pop. V immediately throws Punk to the floor and back in it’s anal raping time. Look up the Visagra and you’ll get the idea. Punk comes back with some kicks but they have no effect at all. A corner splash misses and a missile dropkick puts V down….and here’s Striker for the DQ. This was like 90 seconds long.

V crushes him post match. What was the point of any of this? Punk is helped out by referees.

We recap the series of contests betwee MVP and Matt Hardy, including arm wrestling, boxing (with Evander Holyfield being brought in as a surrogate), basketball, chess, throwing a football and push-ups. Tonight: it’s a pizza eating contest. OH COME ON. Taz is hosting. There are judges for this for no apparent reason: Melina and Maria. They’re scorekeepers instead of judges. MVP is US Champion but he wouldn’t actually drop the title to Matt until APRIL, as in six and a half months from now. They’re also tag champions.

MVP complains about the pizza because it’s not healthy. He criticizes Chicago for being fat, prompting Maria to say she’s from Chicago, so is she fat? Matt and MVP get in a stupid argument as this just drags on and on and on. It’s finally time to eat and by the time this starts, this segment has gone longer than the six man went. Matt quickly slows down and it doesn’t matter as it takes MVP almost two minutes to eat a single slice. Yes, they’re eating for two minutes. The final score is two slices to zero with Matt winning. Matt throws up on MVP. This went longer than the world title match.

Cyber Sunday ad. They say you can pick HIAC as a stipulation. Obviously that never happened.

We recap HH vs. Umaga, which is really HHH vs. Vince with a surrogate Samoan. This ties into the whole Horny is Vince’s legitimate son son deal. The match was originally non-title because neither guy had a title coming in.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Umaga

HHH gets to use King of Kings now that he’s champion. Umaga takes him down immediately so HHH fires back with a DDT. Thankfully Umaga remembers his racial stereotypes and no sells it. HHH low bridges him and we go to the floor. Umaga gets rammed into the steps and yells at HHH for it. My goodness it’s nice to see a Samoan monster that knows how to take a beating to the head.

Back in Umaga pounds him down but misses a middle rope headbutt. For some reason that slows him down but the Facebuster has no effect. Pedigree is countered but the spinebuster works just fine. Another Pedigree attempt is countered into a Samoan Drop and the Game has bad ribs. Out to the floor and HHH goes into the barricade. Back in for a bearhug as the champ is in trouble.

Umaga shifts up into a spinning Rock Bottom for two. The headbutt (this time not of the ropes) hits the bad ribs and is followed by a knee. Umaga pounds on the head of the Game and has him down in the corner. The running hip attack (SEE??? IT WAS UMAGA! NOT FREAKING RIKISHI YOU STUPID NXT PEOPLE!) misses, Umaga gets launched into the post and HHH hits a quick Pedigree to retain.

Rating: C-. Not much here as it felt like a Raw main event instead of a PPV title match. Then again this is only the second PPV title match out of four tonight so it’s ok if there’s a match with only about six and a half minutes. It’s nothing that great but it was good to allow HHH to look good. You know, like in a real title reign at a smaller PPV instead of in the third match of the night, but whatever.

We put a spotlight on the Punjabi Prison and have an ominous song but that’s later on. Instead, we see Khali meditating.

Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay

No reason given for the match before the entrances. Rey is listed at 165. That’s small even for him. Feeling out process to start but Rey takes him down with a shot to the knee and a low dropkick. Slingshot splash gets two. A hard (and appropriate) Irish whip slows Rey down but he dropkicks the knee again to send Finlay to the apron. More kicks look to set up a sunset bomb to the floor but Finlay escapes and ties him up in the ring skirt and pounds away to take over.

Rey gets thrown shoulder first into the post and it’s a Fujiwara Armbar from Finlay. A hard clothesline gets two and it’s back to the arm. Rey manages to snapmare his way out of a crossface chickenwing and send Finlay into the buckle. Springboard crossbody gets two. Seated senton gets the same and a counter to the sitout bulldog is countered into 619 position, but Finlay counters the counter to the counter (got that?) to clothesline him down for two.

A rana out of the corner is countered into a shoulder breaker for two. The Irishman takes a buckle pad off and uses the distraction of the referee to go for the club. Rey blocks the shot and ranas Finlay to the floor. Finlay is in 619 position on the apron (as in he’s outside the ring) but the 619 misses. Rey kicks him in the head and drops a leg on the back of his head, sending Finlay to the floor with a THUD. The referee calls for help and the match is over.

Rating: C+. This was getting good by the end. The more I see of Finlay the more I tend to like his work. He’s really good at going out there and having a solid match and being a bully for someone to stand up to which is a good character to have. Rey is perfect as the underdog too so the chemistry was there. The ending kind of sucked though.

The replay makes it look even worse. He’s taken out on a stretcher…..and he pops up to jump Rey and the place FREAKS. This was a really good performance considering it went so fast. The beating is bad enough for Rey to be taken out on a stretcher.

SAVE US! WHOEVER YOU ARE!

HHH has ice on his ribs when Vince comes in. He guaranteed the fans a last man standing match, so that’s what HHH has tonight against Orton for the title.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle

Candace is defending and looks like an idiot with the angel’s wings on her outfit. Beth throws her into the corner to start but Candice manages a nice bridging cradle for two. She goes for Beth’s arm but we get the Davey Boy Smith/Shawn Michaels move of the pullup from the ground. Powerslam gets two and it’s off to a chinlock.

Actually it’s a cobra clutch but it’s the same idea. Candice climbs the corner ala Bret vs. Austin for two but can’t break the hold. She finally rams Beth into the buckle to escape and a top rope cross body gets two, as does a sunset flip out of the corner. Beth grabs her into a fisherman’s buster which is enough for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. Candice was supposed to be the next big thing in the Divas division but this was her only title reign and not many people really remember her. Beth would become a much bigger deal with multiple title reigns, including the one that is going on now which will seemingly never end. This wasn’t bad.

Beth says this is the era of the Glamazon.

The Prison is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. Khali. Batista got the title in a threeway at Unforgiven by pinning the giant. Khali wanted a rematch one on one but on his terms. The cage is explained which we’ll get to in a minute. It’s more complicated than it needs to be anyway.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Great Khali

Batista is defending and this is inside the Punjabi Prison. Ok so there’s a big round cage around the ring that goes down to the floor. It comes up to a circle at the top with sharp sticks on top. There’s another cage (all made of bamboo mind you) with four gates on it. You can request to open one at any time and at that point you have sixty seconds to go through it. If you don’t get out, it’s closed and that gate can’t be used again. You have to get out of both cages to win. It’s WAY too complicated which is why there were only two of these matches ever.

Batista gets in a quick shot to knock Khali into the ropes and tie him up. He hammers away instead of leaving like an intelligent person would. Well he’s an animal so maybe that explains it. Khali comes back with a chop to the head and opens a gate, but Batista stops him enough for the clock to go down. The Plunge is countered but Khali kicks him down. Leg drop misses and Batista spears him down.

The second gate is opened but Khali grabs the leg. He chokes him against the cage until the clock runs out and the door is shut. Khali pulls a rope off the wall of the cage to tie Batista to the cage. There’s a strap attached to the cage for some reason so Khali pulls it down and it’s whipping time. Batista wasn’t tied up so I guess it was just choking. The third gate is opened but Khali walks into a spinebuster. Big Dave goes for the door but Khali stops him again, leaving us with only one door.

Batista grabs the strap and gives Khali a beating. Now Batista tries to climb over the top for some reason but Khali pounds him down, right into position for Batista to Bomb him out of the corner. Khali blocks it with punches though and the champion is down. Vice Grip goes on and Batista is in trouble. Khali asks for the fourth gate to be opened but Batista hits him low to put both guys down.

The last door closes so Khali beats up the referee through the cage. Khali tries to climb as JBL says this is something out of Jurassic Park. Uh….not exactly Jibbles. Khali tries to climb out but gets knocked down. JBL: “When big men fall down off the top rope like that it hurts.” Batista climbs as well but gets pulled down with a big crash. Khali climbs up and over the top of the first cage while Batista is still down. Both guys climb a cage and in a very cool looking ending, Batista jumps from the outside of the inner cage to the inside of the outer cage and gets up and out faster than Khali can to retain.

Rating: C-. I don’t think anyone would say this was good. I don’t think anyone would argue that a regular cage match wouldn’t have been better. I do however think this wasn’t half bad. The ending was really cool with that jump being something almost out of an action movie. It was an interesting experiment but thankfully they didn’t try it after this.

We recap the night long story with HHH vs. Vince/Orton. HHH is in the back and says the Game isn’t over. He’s coming for Orton.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

Last man standing. Slugout to start with Orton going after the bad ribs. They keep the slugout going out to the floor where a Pedigree is countered. The bad ribs land on the steel and Orton gets control. Back in and a punch puts HHH down. Out to the floor again and Orton belly to back suplexes him onto the barricade. That gets a six count and Orton throws him into the steps for another six.

They head into the ring and Orton hits a release powerslam for about eight. Facebuster puts Orton down but he pops back up and gets a cord off the floor. He chokes HHH out but what should be murder only gets a nine count. Orton loads up the announce table and gets a horrible shot to the head with a monitor. An RKO from one table to the other doesn’t work as HHH launches him through the second table.

Both guys are down and Orton is holding his arm. Gee where have I seen that before? Trips gets up and it’s a nine count on Orton. A spinebuster on the floor but that gets the same result. Steps to the face of Orton should kill him but gets the slowest nine count ever. Back into the ring and HHH gets a chair. Orton manages to kick the bad ribs and DDTs him onto the chair for an eight or so.

Randy finally goes off and pounds HHH down in the corner and an RKO on the open chair gets nine. The Punt is grabbed and HHH throws Orton over the top to the floor. They go to the floor with HHH pounding on him before throwing him onto the remaining table. Orton escapes and slams him into the post to put HHH down. He gets the steps but HHH hits him low to “slam” Orton’s head into them. A chair to Orton’s head while it’s still on the steps gets nine and we go back to the table. An RKO out of nowhere onto the table gives Orton the title. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: B. Good match but the counts got pretty ridiculous at times. The ending didn’t help either as Orton had hit him with far bigger stuff just moments earlier but the RKO ends it because that’s what Orton finishes matches with. Also it doesn’t help that these two had THREE last man standing matches in total. See why people got tired of them?

Overall Rating: B-. I didn’t like it as much as the 06 version but this was still a solid show. The HHH vs. Orton love fest didn’t quite do it for me but the rest of the stuff was good enough and you can’t say nothing happened here. This is turning into a show that you expect nothing from but get a good result out of and that’s fine with me. There’s one more to go and I remember liking it a lot.

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No Mercy 2006
Date: October 8, 2006
Location: RBC Center, Raleigh, North Carolina
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s back to the WWE PPVs and it’s a Smackdown show with Booker defending. This is hardly an exciting looking main event with Booker defending against Finlay, Lashley and Batista. Other than that we have the debut of MVP against a jobber and Kennedy vs. Undertaker in what I’m sure is going to be a thriller. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the main event with Booker talking about how he’s going to reign forever on Smackdown. The announcers talking about how screwed Booker is might as well be putting a big stamp on the show saying BOOKER RETAINS.

The pyro seems exceptionally better for some reason.

Matt Hardy vs. Gregory Helms

This feud went on for a long time. Both guys are from North Carolina so there really isn’t a crowd favorite. Helms is the Cruiserweight Champion so facing a heavyweight is supposed to be a big deal for him. Helms literally is the hometown boy as he’s billed from Raleigh. He won the first match via a low blow and Matt won the second one the same way. Matt uses his weight to take him down with a shoulder and they stare at each other.

Helms goes after the arm which doesn’t work but the second attempt works. A kick to the back gives Helms the advantage and by shouting THIS IS MY HOUSE, he becomes the crowd favorite. Matt comes back with a suplex and clotheslines Helms to the floor. Pescado follows up and Cole screws up by saying TLC 2 was six years ago in this build. Back in and Matt gets dropped on the top buckle and a backbreaker gets two.

Something like a Codebreaker gets the same. Off to an arm trap chinlock but Matt fights up and hits a reverse DDT for two. They slug it out and Matt clotheslines him down for two. Middle rope legdrop gets two. Twist of Fate is loaded up but Helms counters with a weird belly to belly suplex/Eye of the Hurricane combo for two. He hits the same move again and gets the same result. A third one lets him go to the top but he jumps into a punch.

Side Effect gets two. Another Side Effect hits and a release Rock Bottom sets up the moonsault but it lands on knees. Shining Wizard misses but a second attempt hits for two. This is getting really good. Hardy goes up but gets crotched, allowing Helms to hit some weird kick off the top which looked like it missed. That only gets two so Helms tries the Eye of the Hurricane but Matt counters it into the Twist of Fate and it’s finally over.

Rating: B. Good opening match here with both guys showing off for their hometown crowd. It’s amazing what happens when you give guys like these two almost fifteen minutes and let them have some fun. Matt looked good and motivated which is definitely his biggest flaw most of the time. Well that and the fact that he’s insane. Good stuff.

Sharmell tries to calm down Booker as he’s nervous about the main event. Regal comes in and Booker says his services are needed more than ever. Booker says he’s against three dragons and can’t even trust his own knight Finlay. Regal says he’s in for whatever Booker needs. Booker wants Finlay to lay down and wants Regal to talk him into it.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Teacher’s Pets

The Pets are managed by Michelle McCool and are K.C. James and Idol Stevens. Stevens is now known as Damien Sandow who is currently about to debut on Smackdown. The champs have Ashley Massaro with them. Stevens and London start things off and down goes Stevens to a rana. Off to Kendrick as they’re moving incredibly fast here with some Motor City Machineguns kind of stuff. Top rope cross body gets two.

The champions take over and it’s off to K.C. He has less success than his partner and is sent to the floor. Back to Stevens who is thrown right back to the floor. Stereo dives take the challengers out but McCool interferes to knock London off the top. Stevens misses a legdrop back in the ring so it’s back to James with a knee to the back for two. Chinlock goes on and then a modified abdominal stretch.

London fights out of that too and the heels do some pretty weak double teaming to keep him in the match. This isn’t a very interesting match as the challengers are really not that good. Case in point, London easily takes them both down but Stevens manages to break up the tag. The second time though Paul makes them look like idiots again and makes the tag to Brian.

JBL is talking about demolition derbies with Chinese acrobats for some reason. London hits a suicide dive to take out Stevens and James hits a superplex for two on Kendrick. Back in the ring more more heel miscommunication leads to Kendrick hitting a tornado DDT for two. Stevens hits Kendrick with a backbreaker after McCool offers a distraction, getting two. The girls get into a fight as London launches Kendrick into a double dropkick to take out both of them. Sliced Bread sets up a Poetry In Motion into a Shooting Star from London for the pin on Stevens.

Rating: C. It’s not a bad match but it was just kind of there. The tag division was incredibly weak at this point as you can tell with people like Stevens and James getting a title match. They weren’t ready for this spot and it was painfully obvious that it was the case. McCool would go on to be a much bigger star than either of them.

Marine trailer kills some time because the premiere is Friday.

Regal is trying to find Finlay but finds Vito in a dress. He runs off and falls into a bunch of ketchup and mustard which was there for him to fall into.

Here’s Teddy and there’s a massive birthday present in the ring, as in it comes up to Teddy’s ears. Today is the birthday of……The Miz! He’s undefeated at this point and has earned a celebration. There’s cake too. JBL is going off on Miz and it’s hilarious. Miz does the HOO RAH thing and the fans seem into it. Teddy says Miz has been hitting on Layla lately so here she is to celebrate with him. She’s in a robe which clearly has lingerie under it. This is the curly haired and therefore much hotter Layla.

His birthday wish is for her, but she stops him and says chair please. Miz: GET HER A CHAIR!!! She sits him down and he gives commentary on her blowing in his ear. She asks for some music and JBL is losing it. There goes the robe and dang she looks good. She blindfolds him and he asks for whips and chains. The present gets opened up and it’s Big Dick Johnson in a thong of course. I think they did this on ECW as well. I’m sure the people that bought the PPV are SO glad they paid for this too.

Buy the Vince DVD. No seriously, that thing is hilarious.

MVP vs. Marty Garner

This is MVP’s in ring debut and Garner is a jobber from OMEGA and some indies. He was occasionally in WWF as a jobber. JBL hates MVP and rips him apart through his short promo. The fans chant Power Ranger. MVP slaps him down before the match starts and JBL is cracking me up as he insults MVP. Garner gets in a right hand and JBL turns into a cheerleader. MVP is in blue which JBL calls blueberry bling. The Play of the Day or whatever he called his finisher gets the pin. Total squash. Again, I’m sure the people that bought the PPV are SO glad they paid for this too.

Regal gets out of the shower as does Vito. Regal drops his towel and he runs down the hall, into Teddy Long. Teddy thinks that Regal has so much time so he can have a match with Benoit. Gee, good thing they didn’t advertise two of the best technical guys ever having a match. People might have paid to see it.

We recap Kennedy vs. Undertaker. Kennedy: “You’re old, I’m new, those mind games won’t work on me, let’s fight.” That took two minutes to explain.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Kennedy is US Champion but that title is underneath Undertaker so this is non-title. Speed vs. power here as Undertaker throws him into the corner but Kennedy escapes. BIG boot takes Kennedy’s head off and it’s time for arm work. Out to the floor and Kennedy’s arm goes into the steps before it’s back inside the square circle. Wristlock is broken up so it’s back to the floor with Kennedy’s arm eating post again.

A boot to the shoulder keeps Kennedy in trouble and now it’s Old School time. Kennedy manages to armdrag him off the top and both guys are down. Kennedy pounds him in the corner but Taker snaps up and hits Old School for two. A running big boot in the corner misses and Taker is knocked into the barricade. Kennedy tries to dive off the apron but gets caught and rammed into the post. He hasn’t been able to get any kind of extended advantage at all for more than about 10 seconds.

Back in the ring and Kennedy pulls Taker through the ropes to get himself a breather. Kennedy drills him coming back in, getting two. The running hip attack to the guy that is on the middle rope gets two. The move Ryder calls the Broski Boot hits and Taker is in trouble. Taker fights up from his knees and knocks Kennedy to the floor. The legdrop across the apron connects.

Back in Kennedy hits a perfectly regular piledriver which Cole calls a Tombstone. It gets two and JBL says he’s speechless. WHY IS SOMEONE PILEDRIVING UNDERTAKER A BIG DEAL??? Cole freaks over it every time when ONLY Kane has had success with it. They even show replays of it. Back at Mania in 2011 they FREAKED when HHH hit one. I don’t get it.

Kennedy hooks a rear naked choke but Taker comes out of it with a Saito Suplex. Slugout is won by Taker with the flying clothesline. Snake Eyes is followed by the big boot and leg, but it only gets two brother. Chokeslam is countered and Kennedy hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. A high kick is ducked and there’s the chokeslam but no cover.

Last Ride is countered and they almost run into the referee. A buckle was exposed somewhere during this match and Kennedy rams Taker into it, followed by a clothesline to take him down. Kenton Bomb gets two so Kennedy is going to walk. Taker grabs the belt and hits him with it for the freaking LAME DQ.

Rating: B-. This was getting REALLY good at the end and then they screw it up with something like that. I mean, at least make it for the belt to make it worth something before you do something that annoying. Taker was actually feeling it tonight to the point that you might have thought Kennedy could pull off the huge upset. Good stuff here until the ending.

Taker destroys Kennedy and the referee post match. Both guys get tombstoned.

Cyber Sunday ad.

We recap Rey vs. Chavo Part 9000. Chavo cost Rey the title at the Bash because he claimed Rey was making a career off the Guerrero name. Well yeah, what’s your point? Vickie sided with Chavo too. Dominic was involved in this somehow too but he didn’t mean much.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

This is falls count anywhere. The idea at the start is that Chavo is trying to win and Rey is trying to pound on Chavo. They go to the corner and it looks like Chavo is trying to powerbomb him off the top to the floor. Rey knocks him off but falls down as well. A dropkick to the side of Chavo’s head puts him down but Chavo comes back with forearms. They go up to the entrance and Chavo tries another powerbomb but Rey grabs the bottom of the set to escape.

While still holding on he hooks a rana to send Chavo into the steel for two. They fight into the empty space on the right of the stage and Rey goes into the hockey boards. Chavo sends him into the barricade in front of the fans and Rey jumps over it to give himself a breather. Chavo goes into the railing and Rey drops a leg on his back for two. Rey tries the wheelbarrow bulldog but Guerrero counters and rams him into the boards for two instead.

They fight up the steps in the crowd with Chavo in control. Rey comes back with some kicks to the ribs and Chavo goes down. He knocks Chavo over the boards and back to the floor level seats. A seated senton takes Chavo down but since he can’t follow up, Guerrero is able to clothesline him down. Rey gets thrown into some chairs and they go to a set of steps into the upper stands. Rey uses the railing for a 619 to put Chavo down and a cross body off said railing gets three.

Rating: B-. Good match here as the brawling was working with the style match they had. This feud went on for awhile longer until I think Rey had to take time off for a knee injury. I might have to be more specific on that so it was the one in 2006. I might have to be more specific than that, but you get the idea. Anyway, this match was good as it felt more like a fight, which was supposed to be the idea.

Clip from the Marine premiere at a military base.

William Regal vs. Chris Benoit

Big pop for Benoit. This is Benoit’s return from an injury. Technical stuff (duh) to start and they head to the mat. They fight over a top wristlock and Regal gets a test of strength grip and Benoit fights up to take over. Regal gets taken to the mat with one as well but he bridges off the mat and nips up. Some very technical stuff here which isn’t the most interesting stuff but it’s awesome if that’s your thing.

Benoit comes back with a HARD chop and headbutts so hard that you can hear the thud. Swan Dive misses and both guys are busted open. The Canadian tries a German on the Englishman but Regal escapes to the apron. Benoit tries another German to the floor but Regal elbows him to the floor. Regal knees him in the head back inside but Benoit picks the leg for a Sharpshooter attempt.

Regal breaks that up and fires away some more. Off to a dragon sleeper head grip while the rest of Benoit’s body is in an abdominal stretch position. That’s pretty awesome. Benoit escapes to the corner where he chops the open cut on Regal’s head. GEEZ that’s awesome for some reason. Regal suplexes him down and a knee drop gets two.

Benoit hooks a Fujiwara Armbar but Regal makes the rope and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE for two. Regal hooks a surfboard but bends Benoit back into a dragon sleeper grip. These holds are awesome. Benoit rolls out of something and goes old school with the dragon suplex (old finisher). He fights into the Crossface and Regal has to tap.

Rating: B+. You give these guys seven or eight more minutes and it’s the match of the year EASILY. This is my kind of match right here: the technical clinic with the hard brawling thrown in. I love this kind of stuff and these are probably two of the best ever at it. These two had some masterpieces, including one on freaking Velocity of all shows. They know some freaking awesome holds to put on people and make them scream and this was no exception. Great match.

JBL is already wanting Benoit to hurt MVP.

Regal comes into the back and Booker asks if he found Finlay. Regal explains his day and Booker doesn’t want to hear it. Booker breaking between his usual talk and his royal stuff is pretty awesome. Finlay pops up and says he’s here to fight and win the title, not lay down. Booker says oh yes you will and gets drilled.

We recap the world title match. Basically Booker is champion so here are three challenges to face him at once so we can validate his reign. All three challenges beat Booker up so he has NO CHANCE right? This match was made on Smackdown before the show I believe.

Lashley (no reaction) is getting taped up when Batista (POP) comes in. They imply they’ll fight if need be.

Smackdown World Title: Booker T vs. Lashley vs. Finlay vs. Batista

No tagging here. Cole talks about the numbers and JBL replies with this gem. JBL: “QUIT WITH THE MATH!!! I count money idiot!” Batista goes after Booker as Finlay throws Lashley to the floor. Finlay hooks up with Booker as Cole keeps talking about percentages. Lashley back in now and he throws Finlay to the floor. Batista is down in the corner. Spinebuster gets two on Booker.

Finlay pulls Lashley to the floor and a double teaming begins. Back in and the double team is on Batista until Finlay double crossed Booker. JBL freaking out is great but Cole is just awful at giving him stuff to play off. We’re down to Finlay vs. Booker with the pale one taking over. Lashley tries to get in but Finlay casually knocks him away. Booker is knocked to the floor so Finlay works on Big Dave’s arm.

Batista hits a Samoan Drop but Finlay hangs on. Cool. Lashley comes in but Finlay takes him down too. Cole calls Finlay Lashley because they look so much alike. Half crab to Lashley but Booker superkicks Finlay down for two. Booker takes Batista down with another sweet kick for two. Big Dave sideslams him down for two. Their one on one match is over as Lashley clotheslines Booker to the floor.

Finlay brings in a chair but Lashley kicks it away. Horny comes in to low blow Lashley and the club to the head gets two for Finlay as Booker saves. Everyone gets in for a bit and Batista hits a Jackhammer to take Finlay out so it’s face vs. face. Batista is like screw fighting and spears him down for two. Lashley comes back and somewhere (even Cole isn’t sure where) Batista gets his head busted open.

Batista gets thrown to the floor as does Finlay but Booker comes in with a Bookend for two. Just the two of them in the ring now and Bobby counters a suplex for two. Booker doesn’t know what to do here so he takes his hair down. Finlay breaks up the ax kick and gets two. Batista hits spinebusters on everyone and a Batista Bomb to Finlay. Lashley spears him for no apparent reason, allowing Booker to steal the pin on Finlay.

Rating: B-. Not bad here at all with the formula working pretty well. I like the four man matches much better than three man as you get more combinations out of it. Booker winning was obvious but it was still good enough at times. Finlay was really impressive here as he ran most of the match, which is what he’s great for.

Overall Rating: B. This was a very pleasant surprise. It’s not a great show or anything but if you had three hours to kill, you’d be pleased with this one. Nothing on it is must see or anything, but for a total throwaway PPV it wasn’t bad at all. It’s no classic or anything, but if you’ve got time and are curious, check this one out.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 22, 2008
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This was on my request list for some reason. I’ve done a few shows from around this time lately so maybe it has to do with that. This is a few weeks after Unforgiven so Jericho would be world champion at this point and feuding with Shawn. Other than that I don’t remember a thing about this time so it’ll be interesting to look at. Let’s get to it.

We open with the world title hanging above the ring and a ladder underneath it. Here’s Jericho to some LOUD pyro. Cole says this is the 800th episode. So that’s probably…..WAIT WHAT??? On November 3 of the same year, they would have a big 800th episode celebration with a three hour show. Can’t they even keep their continuity straight for six weeks??? I’m going to have to do every show in the history of Raw to get the right episodes aren’t I?

ANYWAY, Jericho sits on top of the ladder and talks about how Shawn has convinced Mike Adamle to make their match at No Mercy a ladder match. Shawn has claimed that he revolutionized the ladder match and the mindless sheep that the fans are believed him. Just because HBK says something, it doesn’t mean it’s true. Jericho on the other hand is an honest man. The truth is that he’s won three titles in a ladder match. He’s won more ladder matches than Shawn has ever appeared in.

Jericho says the last thing you’ll see at the PPV is this, and he pulls down the title. Shawn attacked him recently but he came back, because he’s just better than Shawn. Jericho keeps talking and is interrupted by….Randy Orton? Jericho starts to call himself champion but Orton cuts him off. He says that if not for him kicking Punk in the head, Jericho wouldn’t be champion. The ladder match doesn’t mean anything because whoever wins is living on borrowed time.

Jericho asks what’s stopping him from punching Orton right now. Punching Shawn’s wife was an accident but this would be on purpose. Randy is still injured here. Orton has spoken to Mike Adamle and anyone that hits him is suspended immediately. Jericho says get well soon and leaves. Orton says he’ll be champion again and throws the ladder out. Randy goes to leave and here’s Punk. Punk gets in his face and slaps him, causing Adamle to come down and suspend him indefinitely.

Now here’s Shane McMahon of all people to dance around on stage in white shoes. Now he dances in the ring a bit. He got a big pop so I can’t complain much here. Apparently he’s here to evaluate Adamle later on. Shane overrules Adamle’s suspension of Punk so Orton yells about that too. The suspension rule is still in effect, but it starts right now. Shane asks Orton to leave and makes Punk vs. Rhodes and Jericho/JBL vs. Batista/Shawn. Shane dances some more and it’s FINALLY over. This segment ran nearly 20 minutes which is WAY too long given what we got out of it.

Cody Rhodes vs. CM Punk

Feeling out process to start. It’s amazing how much bigger this would be in just a few years. Punk uses his strikes to take over, including a spinning elbow to the face. Cody sends him to the outside but Punk kicks him through the ropes. They brawl on the floor before heading back in with Cody hitting a top rope cross body, rolled through for two. Cody hits a few knees, including a big one in the corner for two.

Punk loads up the GTS but Cody escapes and bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cody working on the ankle/leg after crotching him during the break. It’s leg lock time as the match slows down. Punk counters that into an ankle lock of all things but Cody makes the rope. The running knee hits but the bulldog is countered of course. GTS gets the pin about a second later.

Rating: C. Not bad here but Cody didn’t mean a thing at this point so the match wasn’t going to be anything good. Punk was really just a glorified upper midcard guy at this point so this didn’t mean much of anything. Somehow Punk wouldn’t get the real revenge he was looking for until 2011.

DiBiase and Manu run in for the beatdown but Kofi makes the save. He and Punk would win the tag titles very soon.

Smackdown ReBound is about Kozlov attacking Jeff Hardy. He also beat up MVP and HHH.

Adamle complains to Shane about being embarrassed out there. Shane says Adamle is doing fine and that he shouldn’t be worried. Kane comes in and wants Mysterio, and he’ll get him at No Mercy apparently. Kane tells Shane to say hi to Linda for him. He leaves and Shane explains the history between himself and Kane.

A photographer is talking to Kelly when Beth and Santino come up. Santino has a facial injury and Kelly laughed last week, so it’s time for pain tonight. He makes fun of Batista who of course pops up behind him. An awkward staredown ensues.

Santino Marella vs. Deuce

We get the Honk-A-Meter prematch but Deuce cuts it off. This is non-title of course. Deuce goes after the injured face and drops a punch for two. Santino rolls him up for the pin out of nowhere. This was like a minute long.

Santino talks about how great Beth is post match.

Kane vs. Evan Bourne

Evan is an ECW guy at this point and is standing in for Mysterio who is still injured. Bourne fires off a kick to the ribs which gets him nowhere, followed by an enziguri to stagger the monster. A Kane powerbomb is countered and Bourne kicks some more. Bourne keeps trying to keep things moving but Kane gets in a single punch to stop the offense dead in its tracks. A big boot misses and Kane gets caught in the ropes. A moonsault to the floor puts Kane down again and the double knees get two. Kane gets in a single uppercut and begins the total destruction. HUGE chokeslam gets the pin.

Rating: C. This was a lot better than I was expecting from it. Bourne is a guy who is small enough to be able to make you feel sorry for him against a monster like this so the crowd was getting into it. On top of that it plays up the Kane vs. small guys feud which is what they’re going with despite it getting annoying. Fun match.

Rey comes out and gets beaten down as well.

Jamie Noble asks Shane for another match with Regal. Dolph Ziggler comes up and introduces himself and leaves. Orton comes up for another distraction and says overturning the suspension wasn’t cool. Shane says it’s cool and that Orton is getting off easily. Orton threatens him so Shane says he’s a fourth generation McMahon. That means something I guess.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Beth takes him into the corner but Kelly moves out of the way for some speedy gymnastics. Beth comes back with a Buckle Bomb and yells about Batista. Candace is watching in the back. Kelly comes back with a cross body out of the corner for two. Santino’s interference backfires and Kelly gets the rollup for the pin. This was when the Divas were only bad and not horrible yet.

They set to double team Kelly until Batista makes the save. Santino ACTUALLY HITS Batista. Guess how well that goes.

We recap the feud between the Dirt Sheet and Word Up, Cryme Tyme’s show. They had argued for awhile on their shows, resulting in an AWESOME rap video parody by Miz and Morrison. Dirt Sheet and Miz/Morrison were hilarious at this point.

John Morrison/The Miz vs. Cryme Tyme

JTG vs. Morrison to start things off. Miz cheats as is his nature but JTG comes back with a spinning clothesline for two. Shad comes in with a huge gorilla press to send Morrison to the floor. Shad throws JTG onto both of them and we take a break. Back with Morrison holding an armbar on JTG which is quickly broken. Off to Miz for more chinlockery as he prevents the hot tag. The tag goes through a few seconds later and Shad cleans house. Powerslam gets two on Miz. Delayed release gordbuster puts Miz down but Morrison kicks Shad in the head which lets Miz get the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t very good. The problem was that these two were better teams but for some reason neither were tag champions at this point. It’s not that the belts meant anything so it doesn’t really matter but it’s still a pretty stupid miss. Boring match here with the majority of it being spent in chinlocks.

Jericho tries to convince Adamle that Shane is manipulating him. Jericho has an idea but we don’t get to hear it.

We run down the No Mercy card.

Charlie Haas is at Dave and Busters to shill the Mr. Perfect DVD with an imitation. He does the sports bit that Perfect did which is kind of funny.

Shawn Michaels/Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Chris Jericho/Lance Cade

Jericho’s idea was to make it 3-2 and I guess it worked. Shawn and Cade start things off with Shawn destroying him. Cade reverses a whip and JBL adds a right hand to really give Lance an opening. Off to Jericho for a chinlock and an enziguri puts Shawn down. Off to JBL who hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. Back to Cade for more of a beating in the corner. Jericho chokes away as this has been one sided for the most part. Bradshaw comes in and they slug it out but JBL kicks him in the face to put him right back down.

It’s JBL vs. Batista at No Mercy if that clears anything up. Shawn jumps into the fallaway slam but he counters into a DDT to put both guys down. There’s the tag to Batista who cleans house. Spinebuster to Jericho and a powerslam sets up the Shawn elbow. Superkick is countered into a Walls attempt but Shawn rolls him up for two. Everything breaks down and Batista spears JBL outside. Lionsault misses and it’s off to Cade. Forearm puts him down but Jericho’s distraction lets him hit a sitout Rock Bottom to Shawn for the pin.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here that felt like it belonged at a house show. It wasn’t bad or anything but it just wasn’t interesting. There wasn’t much focus on the JBL vs. Batista match at all and Batista was only in the match for about a minute or so. Not bad, but just kind of there.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t a bad show but it was nothing interesting at all. Nothing really happened and while they pushed No Mercy, this isn’t a show that you would need to see to see No Mercy. Orton was in a weird place here where he was hurt, but it was clear they wanted him to be the #2 heel on the roster. That’s hard to do but they tried hard. It came off as forced though and it didn’t quite work. Pretty meh show.

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Armageddon 2008
Date: December 14, 2008
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker, Todd Grisham, Michael Cole, Taz

Well this is the final show of the series and thankfully we go out with a big old bang. The main events are Edge vs. HHH vs. Hardy for the Smackdown title and Jericho vs. Cena for the Red Show title. Also there’s Batista vs. Orton in the closest thing to a major match they ever had (not counting some random title matches). Let’s get to it.
In a not very interesting bit of trivia, the dark match for this show is the same match that was the dark match for the previous year’s Armageddon: Jesse and Festus vs. Miz/Morrison. The more famous team lost the first time and won this year.

It’s Armageddon and the same theme is used.

Matt Hardy vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Vlad was released on the day this was written. Matt is ECW Champion but this is non-title. Vlad has that rare thing called credibility here and is undefeated. The fans chant USA as is their custom because they’re anti-foreigner. Hardy starts off kind of well and is then thrown all over the place because Vlad is Russians and Russians are better fighters. He throws on a key lock and the fans cheer for Hardy.

Vlad shifts off to an armbar and pulls Matt off the mat (oh the irony) by his arm which looked REALLY freaking painful. Trapping headbutts keep Matt from getting any long term offense going. Vlad gets a DDT to either the head or the arm. It looked like a regular one but it seemed like Matt landed on his arm. Back to the keylock as this isn’t a very exciting match even though the fans are interested in it.

Matt manages to get up top and hit a top rope elbow to the head. Vlad gets tossed to the floor but Matt’s dive doesn’t work. He counters the counter though and Vlad tastes the steel. Not really but you get the idea. I doubt Vlad likes to lick posts but who knows, maybe he does. Matt goes up again but jumps into a punch for two. He goes into the corner for ten punches but gets dropped onto the post. The headbutt to the chest and a standing spinebuster end this.

Rating: C. Not a bad match but there’s something out of place about a Russian monster using arm holds for the majority of the match. Matt losing was expected because he’s Matt Hardy, but Vlad’s push more or less stopped soon after this, mainly due to an abysmal fan response at Cyber Sunday. Nothing great here but it was fine for what it was.

Edge, Vickie and Chavo are in the back. Edge leaves to get ready and Chavo asks Vickie how they got rid of Jeff that night in the hotel. Vickie doesn’t want to answer and sends Chavo for coffee.

Horny comes up to Eve and hits her with a rubber hammer. Finlay comes in to help her and Eve says it’s cool. Finlay tells his son not to come out for the match later because he might get hurt. Horny is sad.

Here’s William Regal with Layla to sit at ringside for the next match.

Intercontinental Championship Tournament Final: CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Why they call it that I have no idea because it’s for a shot at the title, held by Regal. Punk is introduced as half of the tag champions but he and Kofi lost the titles at a house show the previous night to Miz and Morrison. There’s a pre-match handshake and here we go. Mysterio might have a bad wrist but it isn’t taped. Jerry does his job and talks about how having an injury taped up is a bad idea at times.

Some lone fan tries to start a Miz and Morrison chant and the arena shouts him down. Pretty basic back and forth stuff to start but they’re speeding up. 619 is avoided but the GTS fails also. Rey is sent to the floor in front of Regal and Punk hits a big dive which gets two in the ring. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two. Rey tries to speed things up but is caught in the Tree of Woe and Punk fires off some kicks.

He avoids a charge though and hits a moonsault off the top for two. It might have hurt his already injured wrist though and Punk capitalizes it. Punk grabs a weird kind of crossface where he puts Rey’s arm behind Punk’s back and cranks back on it. Rey gets to the ropes and uses what appears to be La Mistica (Sin Cara’s move in Mexico) but Punk makes a rope as well.

A dropkick puts Punk on the floor and Rey hits a big dive off the top, putting both guys down. Back in a victory roll by Rey gets two but Punk counters into a rollup of his own for two. Pretty back and forth match so far with both guys mirroring each other. Punk hits a running bulldog for two. Regal is finally interested in the match while Layla holds the title up for him.

Punk puts Rey on the ropes but gets put in the 619 position. That misses again and Punk tries the GTS. Rey reverses that into a rana to put CM into 619 position. It finally connects but the splash misses. Crucifix gets two for Rey. Punk counters another rana attempt and hits the GTS out of mostly nowhere for the pin and the shot at Regal. Rey’s nose is busted.

Rating: B. Rather good match here and they were moving out there. The ending is kind of out of nowhere but the GTS looked good. Rey would get the title from JBL at Mania in like 30 seconds after JBL beat Punk for it who beat Regal for it like three weeks after this. Good match here though as is par for the course with these two.

Jeff talks about spending the last year to get ready for this moment. He’s been told he had to change to get what he wanted, but that’s because the people are afraid of him. Tonight he’ll prove everyone wrong and become WWE Champion.

We recap JBL and Shawn’s issues. The idea is that Shawn is broke due to the 2008 financial crash. He had to take a job with JBL as his servant basically and give up his pride. The problem with all this was simple: Shawn Michaels is a top level WWE Superstar. Are we supposed to believe he doesn’t make enough to pay his bills?

Here’s JBL who introduces Shawn as his new employee. He says that the financial issues have caught up with him and he’s invested his money in the stock market. See, that’s the thing: he got his money being a wrestler and he has the same job now. He’s still making checks now so why is this such a big issue?

It makes sense in theory but it always came off as a hole in the story to me. Shawn doesn’t like JBL but he’s not going to become one of those guys that you hear about who is a tragedy and going to a high school gym to wrestle for a quick payday. YOU WERE IN THE MATCH OF THE YEAR LAST YEAR AT WRESTLEMANIA. I THINK YOU HAVE SOME TIME LEFT. Anyway, Shawn shakes JBL’s hand and is all sad. He always will have a lifetime job looking for his smile.

Orton says…nothing because Cody and Manu interrupt. Cody says Orton was the star of Evolution and Manu says that Orton has been waiting to prove himself as the better man for years. I can see why Manu didn’t keep his job long. Everyone leaves after that in a weird moment.

Some Buffalo Bills are here.

Finlay vs. Mark Henry

This is a Belfast Brawl, which means street fight. Henry had tried to squash Horny but Finlay made the save for his son. Tony Atlas is with Henry. Striker says this has its roots in the streets of Belfast. There are wrestling rings in Belfast streets where you win fights by holding someone down for three seconds in front of 12,000 people? Henry sends him to the floor quickly but Finlay manages to send him into the announce table. Henry takes over and pounds away outside, ramming him into the railing.

No Hornswoggle out here as per his pop’s request. Back in the ring the splash misses and Finlay tries to get in some offense. The Irish dude pulls out some weapons, in the form of like three trashcans. The delay lets Henry get up and Finlay goes down fast. Henry hits that move that has no name where you jump on the guy’s head when he’s in the 619 position. He yells at Finlay, saying you wanted a fight and now you got one.

Finlay manages to fight back with a trashcan shot and another to put Henry down. He pounds away a bit and gets two. Henry takes over again and stands on Finlay’s chest but misses a Banzai Drop from the middle rope. Yokozuna he is not. There’s that Irish club that I can’t spell but Henry knocks it out of Finlay’s hand. Henry breaks the club easily and does the same to a kendo stick.

Bear hug goes on and here’s Horny. Henry casually throws him into Finlay’s balls from where he came. Or did Finlay come? Not sure actually. I guess Finlay had to so Horny could. And I guess Finlay had to be Horny to come so Horny could come. I love wordplay. Anyway Henry beats Finlay down and picks up the steps but Finlay dropkicks the knee to send Henry’s face into the steps. Horny slips him another stick (add that aspect to the aforementioned joke) and a shot to the head with that ends this.

Rating: C-. Eh nothing too horrible here. The weapons probably saved this as I don’t even want to imagine these two trying to have a regular match. Not a horrible match here and Horny helping to win is ok. I don’t mind him as a sidekick but being on the show week after week gets to be a bit much.

The Divas are decorating a tree and here’s Santa-Haas. They all get presents which were already in the room. Santino and Beth come in and show off Beth’s Diva of the Year Slammy. Santino tries to get a present out of the box but Boogeyman is inside. He runs for the door and there’s Goldust under some mistletoe. Boogey gives Goldust a present and then the two of them along with Santa, the Divas and the drugged out Festus sing We Wish You A Merry Christmas. It’s as weird as it sounds.

Kennedy says drink responsibly and don’t do drugs. However, do go get his new DVD, Behind Enemy Lines III.

We recap Batista vs. Orton. They were both in Evolution and this fight is basically to decide who was the better young and future star in the team. Both won world titles and then Orton went all heel and said he was better than everyone else. I don’t get why this is at Armageddon and not like at, Wrestlemania or something.

Batista vs. Randy Orton

Cody and Manu are with Orton. They fight over a lockup to start and there’s no real advantage yet. Orton takes him to the mat but that gets him nowhere at all. Batista goes to the floor and Rhodes gets involved for generally evil purposes. The two of them get thrown out quickly though so we get down to a regular match. Orton sends the shoulder into the post and works on the arm for the first real advantage.

They’re treating this like a clash of the titans which it really is. There’s an RKO chant also. Batista snaps and tries a Batista Bomb early but Randy escapes into a neckbreaker for two. Batista tosses him to the floor and Orton may have reinjured his shoulder which was hurt earlier in the year. Back in Orton manages to get the elevated DDT for two. This is when the move made sense as the rope is under Big Dave’s knees instead of his ankles, making it a bit harder to escape.

Since we were getting close to something interesting out of Orton, it’s the Orton Stomp to the rescue! When you steal moves from Ronnie Garvin, you’re not in a good place. Batista goes to the floor as the pace of the match has gone down into negative gears. Orton throws on a chinlock which is broken rather quickly. He’s working on the neck so we hit the chinlock again.

The fans aren’t sure if they want to chant boring or not. Big Dave gets underneaath the chinlock and drops back with the weight crashing down onto Randy. Batista wins a slugout but Orton uses the lethal art of kicking your feet to escape a powerslam. They go outside again which doesn’t amount to much. A superplex by Orton gets two.

Spinebuster gets two out of nowhere for Batista. He’s too spent to follow up immediately and the Batista Bomb is delayed. Orton gets the backbreaker for two. RKO is blocked and Batista gets a slam for two. The Animal (just a generic animal, not the Viper) is getting frustrated. Another Bomb attempt is countered and Randy gets a DDT for two. The Punt is countered by Batista putting him in the corner and ramming in shoulders and then ten punches. Orton tries to counter into something but winds up in the position for the Batista Bomb and we’re done.

Rating: B-. Well the second half was better but at the same time the first half was really boring. Orton got A LOT better over the last year or so and was just dull beyond belief as a heel in 2008. A lot of this match was weak but they turned it around and got something close to a big match going. The pacing was off too though and it looked like they kept wanting to get going but it never clicked.

Recap of the Slammys from Raw on Monday. This is mainly done to set up some more of Cena vs. Jericho. They’re fighting for the Raw World Title later. Jeff Hardy, Edge and HHH got involved somehow too.

Maria/Mickie James/Kelly Kelly/Michelle McCool vs. Maryse/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Natalya

Santa’s Little Helper’s match here. The heels are in green and are elves I guess. Maria’s song is really catchy. I miss Michelle. Mickie vs. Maryse starts us off. Mickie keeps going after her and Maryse tries to pose. Off to Mickie vs. Natalya in the real fight here. Nattie is pretty new at this point. Kelly is Jewish and Striker calls her the Hot Hebrew. That sounds like a really bad coffee shop. The announcers are having a fun time with this. The match is totally pointless of course and it’s off to Maria. Somehow she gets compared to John Berzerker Nord. Everything breaks down and Michelle hits the Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) to end Maryse.

Rating: C+. Don’t bother trying to figure out if the rating is good because it isn’t, but there was a weird energy for this one and I had fun with it. Also Michelle in shorts and Maria with her energetic perkiness are never bad things. The girls looks hot and everyone was having fun in a nice breath of air before the main events. What more can you ask for?

Khali comes out for the Kiss Cam with the Divas in the ring still. Michelle runs away with her Divas Title. Instead he’s going to kiss the other three. This doesn’t work either so Runjin Singh says that it’s because he’s too much man for them. Singh has a backup plan in the form of Mae Young. This is one of those things you classify as all in good fun. Yes it’s stupid, but I like it for some weird reason. The announcers are cracking up over Lawler’s one liners.

Preview of Prince of Persia, which is the game sponsoring the show.

We recap Jericho vs. Cena which is a rematch from Survivor Series where Cena came back to beat Jericho for the title after being gone for like three months. Jericho never beat Cena for the most part so what do you think is happening here? Oh and Jericho is the Superstar of the Year, which he probably deserved. The rest of the video is a long beatdown of Cena by Jericho with help from Legacy.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Crowd is mostly pro Cena, I’d say 75-80%. Jericho outsmarts him to start and stomps away on the back and the neck. Cena is like screw this and spears him down to hammer away. Jericho fights out and throws on a sleeper. Cena might go to sleep faster if Jericho wasn’t calling spot to him. Dueling chants already but the better one is for Jericho.

Cena reverses into an attempted FU but that gets countered into a DDT. Cena rolls to the floor and Jericho gets caught in another FU attempt but he counters THAT into a bulldog off the apron and onto the steps. Cool sequence there. Jericho stays on the neck which is good psychology from a master of it. Cena counters into his finishing sequence but it’s WAY too early for that.

Jericho manages another counter to the FU, this time into the Walls. Scratch that as it’s more like a door frame which is reversed by Cena anyway. Missile dropkick from the middle rope gets two. Nice fast paced match here so far. Throwback is blocked and Jericho hits the Lionsault for two. We go up top and Cena blocks a superplex and hits the top rope Fameasser for a delayed cover.

The ninth or so FU attempt is countered as Jericho lands on his feet and the Codebreaker gets two. Jericho charges at Cena again and this time gets caught in the FU. It only gets two and both guys are down. Jericho pulls a Bret and plays possum into a small package for two. Cena grabs the STFU but Jericho counters into the Walls. He manages to crawl through Chris’ legs and grabs the STFU for a relatively quick tap out.

Rating: B+. I liked this one as they had both guys moving out there the entire time and constantly countering the finishers. Cena tried the FU about 10 times but he kept hammering away until Jericho ran out of counters and got frustrated, resulting in his downfall. Nice story being told and great execution of it. What more can you ask for from a match like this?

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. Someone jumped Hardy to keep him out of the triple threat match at Survivor Series. Edge returned and stole the title from HHH. The attack on Hardy was called the most disgusting thing of the year for some reason because it implied Jeff was on drugs or something, despite that never being mentioned ever. Oh well I guess.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. HHH vs. Jeff Hardy

Solid heat on Edge and a solid gut also. Jeff goes straight for Edge as JR can’t remember if Jeff got attacked in Baltimore or Boston. Basic opening so far with Jeff driving the action. He sends Edge and HHH to the floor and dives on the Canadian. Trips takes his head off though so it’s Edge vs. HHH in the ring now. How was that never the main event of a bigger show than Great American Bash?

Jumping knee to the face puts Edge down as does a neckbreaker. Edge’s bad luck continues as he gets caught in a facebuster. Jeff back in now and he gets a facebuster for Christmas also. HHH tries the Pedigree to Edge but Jeff takes them both out with a Whisper in the Wind. The Game is down and Jeff gets crotched on the top. HHH comes in to get Edge and it’s a Doomsday Device with Jeff hitting a Whisper in the Wind instead of a clothesline. Edge’s bump is SCARY here as he lands on the back of his head.

Pedigree to Jeff is countered again and he goes into the buckle. Slingshot dropkick hits HHH but the Edge-O-Matic takes Jeff down for two. HHH’s bad luck continues in the form of a spear. Twist of Fate and Swanton hit HHH but Edge makes a last second save. Everybody goes to the floor and HHH is mostly dead.

Edge gets whipped around a lot and Jeff loads up the announce table. HHH pops up again and sends Edge onto the table but not through it. Jeff escapes a Pedigree and gets killed with a spear through the third table. Edge vs. HHH in the ring with the Canadian hitting an Edgecution for no cover. Spear is countered into the spinebuster and there’s the Pedigree.

Kozlov of all people pops up and breaks up the pin before beating on HHH. Matt Hardy comes out to get rid of Kozlov. Jeff goes up but Kozlov shoves him away before the Swanton can hit. Matt and Vlad go up the aisle and only Edge is in the ring. HHH comes back in but walks into a spear for two. A frustrated Edge goes to the floor and sets for a Conchairto.

Jeff grabs a chair and BLASTS Edge with it. He wants the Swanton but HHH crotches him. That was a sick, sick chair shot and it was only with one hand. HHH grabs the Pedigree in the corner but Jeff dives off the top with the Swanton to HHH and covers Edge for the pin and his first world title. The roof blows off the place and with good reason. The LD exploded and I did too, since I slept through the original broadcast of this and the first thing I saw was Jeff diving onto HHH.

Rating: B. Solid match all around here but the point here was for the ending. That Swanton and the reaction from the crowd was excellent. The whole thing worked perfectly and the match was good. Not sure why they had Kozlov and Matt in there but it wasn’t a big issue. The right man won here and that’s all that matters.

The last five minutes of this are spent on a huge celebration by Jeff. Totally awesome moment for one simple reason: this has been a year in the making and Jeff felt like he finally earned it. This could have been in the main event of Wrestlemania but the shock of it was a great bonus perk. I’m not a Hardy fan but this is still awesome on every possible level.

Jeff’s celebrating on top of the set ends the show.

Overall Rating: A. I really liked this show. The whole thing worked incredibly well and there isn’t a bad match to be found. You get an historical moment in the title change at the end, another good match in cena vs. Jericho, a big match in Orton vs. Batista and hot women in Santa outfits. What more can you really ask for from a show? I had a really good time with this and it’s worth seeing.

Armageddon is now done, leaving us with Unforgiven, Great American Bash, No Mercy and Backlash. This was a surprisingly good series with some bad shows but when it was good, it was REALLY good. The final one is probably the best or maybe 2005. Either way some of them are worth seeing but on the other hand some aren’t worth seeing at all. Translation: it’s just like every other PPV series.

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