Smackdown
Date: July 24, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

We’re finally done with Extreme Rules and less than a month away from Summerslam. That means it’s time to start getting ready for one of the bigger shows of the year, but first we need to have a bar fight between Sheamus and Jeff Hardy, as one of the more questionable feuds of the year continues. Let’s get to it.

Here is Extreme Rules if you need a recap.

Jeff Hardy says he is an alcoholic and is ready to face Sheamus in his newfound enemy: a bar.

Sheamus is ready to give Jeff a headache, but it’s from a Brogue kick instead of a hangover.

JBL knows what a bar fight is like and says the emotions are running higher than the blood alcohol content in an APA poker game. Points for actually managing to make this even more cringe worthy.

Here are Bayley and Sasha Banks to gloat. Sasha talks about what it means to be great but the definition needs to be changed to the two of them. After Bayley yells at some fans, Banks declares an end to the Women’s Revolution. It started with them and it’s ending with them, because they are starting a new era. No matter how hard you try, you’ll never be them, but here are Nikki Cross and Alexa Bliss to interrupt.

Cross rants about how sick she is of the two of them so Bayley asks if she took her rabies medicine. Even Bliss thinks it’s too much right now but Cross wants a Women’s Title shot tonight. Bayley says fine, but Cross has to face Bliss, with the winner getting the title shot next week. Cross says they have to do this and shoves Bliss down, although not out of anger.

Nikki Cross vs. Alexa Bliss

The winner gets a shot at Bayley next week so Bayley and Banks are on commentary. Cross comes in with taped ribs thanks to the ring shot on Sunday, which Banks turns into a plug for WWE Shop. Bliss gets shoved down to start but Cross can’t hit a tornado DDT. They get annoyed at each other, even as Bliss can’t hit her own DDT. Cross gets more fired up and forearms away, setting up a bulldog for two.

Bliss dropkicks her tot he floor but misses the charge and gets caught in the ring skirt. A kick to the face gets Bliss out of trouble, so Bayley and Banks shout “GET HER! GET HER!” That earns them a double knockdown and we take a break. Back with Bliss dropkicking her out to the floor as Cole and Graves laugh at the knockdown before the commercial. Bayley challenges Cole for Summerslam as Bliss kicks away at the bad ribs and drives them into the barricade to put Cross down outside.

Back in and some knees to the ribs give Bliss two before she cranks on the arm with a knee in the ribs. It’s off to a seated abdominal stretch so Cole can list off all of Bliss’ accomplishments. They really need to stop doing that as so many people have won so many titles that they lose all meaning every time you hear them.

Cross fights up but the tornado DDT is countered into a sunset bomb for two. Back up and Cross grabs a Regal Cutter for two more, followed by a reverse DDT for the same. Cross misses the high crossbody though and the ribs are banged up again. The referee goes to check on her so Cross insists she can keep going, which means a small package to finish Bliss at 14:55.

Rating: C. This was good enough and they’re planting the seeds for a Bliss/Cross split. That’s possibly their backdoor out of next week, though I’m not sure where that leaves Bayley for Summerslam. The ribs stuff was good here though, and Bayley and Banks are really entertaining on commentary, as you can tell how well they get along. It’s certainly better than Nikki screaming every chance she gets.

Post break Nikki is excited when a dejected Bliss comes in to congratulate her. Bliss says it’s time to focus on becoming the new Women’s Champion next week.

It’s time for the Firefly Fun House, which starts with a package on the Swamp Fight. Bray, standing next to the Fiend lantern, says that was fun because Braun Strowman came back home. Some of you are probably worried that Braun is now trapped in the swamp, but don’t worry, because it has been certified organic. The lantern starts talking to him but Bray says its job is done for now. No he can’t let the lantern out again, because he had his chance. Now it’s his turn, because he has been unleashed. We cut to the Fiend and that’s it.

We look back at AJ Styles vs. Matt Riddle from last week.

Matt Riddle vs. Tony Nese

Riddle goes straight to the rolling gutwrench suplexes into the Broton for one. Nese knocks him down and hits a Lionsault for two, followed by a bodyscissors to keep Riddle in trouble. Back up and Nese has to knee his way out of the Bro Derek, meaning Riddle settles for a t-bone suplex. Now the Bro Derek can connect for the pin at 2:03. Nice back on track win for Riddle.

Post match Riddle calls out King Corbin to fight him right now. Cue Corbin to say the request is denied because Riddle doesn’t belong in the kingdom. Riddle still has the new car smell but after that wears off, he’s just a frat boy who looks like he just rolled out of bed. That’s why Corbin has put out a king’s ransom on his head. Riddle says Corbin has it all wrong because Corbin is the next guest on the Bro Show. Nese tries to jump Riddle and gets kicked in the head.

Miz and John Morrison try to think of hashtags to get themselves some extra attention, with Morrison’s getting rather long.

JBL talks about what a bar fight means and talks about Jeff Hardy’s career. Jeff wins tonight.

Here are Miz and Morrison for MizTV. They have been talking with a team of trend forecasters to find out what is going to trend in the future. That’s why Morrison’s jacket has a MoreMorrison hashtag sign in his shirt. He’ll be sick if that doesn’t trend. How sick you ask? Four Seth Rollins vomiting sick. With that out of the way, here is Naomi as their guest. Last week she may have lost, but Naomideservesbetter was trending after her match. Naomi thanks the fans for having her back, with Miz talking about how she went viral for returning at the Royal Rumble this year too. Miz: “But you didn’t win that match either.”

Why aren’t people talking about Lacey Evans? Naomi says the two of them are making her sick. Miz and Morrison: “How sick?” That would be five Seth Rollins vomiting sick, which Miz warns will prevent her from trending. Naomi talks about everything she puts in the ring every time and that’s why the fans are behind her.

Miz didn’t expect this kind of a confrontation, so here’s Lacey Evans as a surprise guest. Lacey thinks Naomi’s hashtag was trending out of pity and calls her washed up. Naomi shoves Lacey as she does her lipstick, meaning the fight is on with Lacey bailing. I can go with Naomi getting a push, but because of karaoke, makeup and hashtags?

We look at Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura winning the Tag Team Titles on Sunday.

Big E. is outside of the trainer’s room when Kofi Kingston comes out. He’s holding his ribs and limping because there is some bad news: he is going to be out about six weeks. Big E. promises they will get the Tag Team Titles back but Kofi wants Big E. to go do something on his own while the rest of the team is on the shelf. Kofi: “I put your meat on my meat man.” They hug and Big E. seems touched.

Gran Metalik vs. Lince Dorado vs. Shorty G. vs. Drew Gulak

One fall to a finish and the winner gets an Intercontinental Title shot against AJ Styles (on commentary). Gable and Gulak are sent outside in a hurry but the Lucha House Party fight doesn’t break out as Gulak breaks things up. Metalik hurricanranas Gulak to the floor before dodging a German suplex attempt from Gable. The rope walk dropkick gets two on gable with Gulak making a save. Dorado comes in and hammers away in Gulak in the corner as AJ says he wants to face the one who gets beaten up the worst. AJ: “It just makes sense right?”

Dorado suicide dives onto Gulak and Gable sends Metalik outside. A huge Gable moonsault wipes out everyone and we take a break. Back with Gable and Gulak going into a pinfall reversal sequence for two each. Metalik comes back in and gets double teamed down but Gulak and Gable argue over who gets to stomp. The arguing lets Metalik hit a handspring elbow to take both of them down and it’s Dorado coming back in to chop away.

Metalik breaks up Dorado’s cover though and the argument is on, only to have Gable jump Metalik with a suplex. There’s one for Dorado as well and Gable is fired up. Gulak takes a third and a hard belly to back suplex gets two on Metalik. Back up and Gable gets caught in the Gulock but he climbs the ropes to reverse into an ankle lock. The grapevine makes it even worse but Dorado makes the save with a top rope splash for two. Dorado goes up again, earning himself a crotching from Gulak. Gable takes them both down though and Metalik walks the ropes for the top rope elbow and the pin on Gable at 11:47.

Rating: C+. They kept the action going here and that’s the best thing they could have done. That being said, they picked Metalik to get the title shot? Actually…..why not? One of the biggest criticisms about WWE is they can be predictable so Metalik winning here is quite the twist. He won’t win the title or anything, but points for trying something new.

Post match AJ gets in the ring and slaps Metalik in the face, earning himself a tornado DDT. Metalik holds up the title.

Video on Otis and Mandy Rose’s romance.

Shinsuke Nakamura and Cesaro are happy with their titles but they are sad about not putting Big E. through a table. It would have made a bigger splat you see. Even with Kofi being out of action, it isn’t Big E.’s time. They salute and promise to make all of the Smackdown teams go splat.

Long video on Jeff Hardy vs. Sheamus.

Next week: AJ Styles defends against Gran Metalik and Nikki Cross gets another shot at Alexa Bliss.

Sheamus vs. Jeff Hardy

They’re in a local bar and Sheamus arrives first, meaning he can order a drink. Jeff arrives and asks for a cup as he sits down next to Sheamus. His brother had to delete his career and Jeff had to save his own. Rehab made him better but Sheamus says no one cares about Jeff anymore. Jeff asks if Sheamus is still the bar and says he is connected to everything. Like the window, the TV and this bar. Sheamus: “I’m the bar!” Sheamus is ready to fight so Sheamus throws a drink in his face and it’s on.

That means Sheamus gets the better of it in a hurry and hits the ten forearms over the bar. Sheamus wants a top shelf drink but the distraction lets Jeff run down the bar and dive onto him. There’s a whip into some barrels and Jeff steals the basketballs from a machine and pelts Sheamus with them. They fight into the back with Jeff having a barrel knocked out of his hands. Sheamus sends him into some walls and they head into the bathroom, with Jeff’s face going into a urinal.

Jeff one ups him by throwing Sheamus into a stall and crawling out, leaving Sheamus to scream about Hardy. Sheamus goes looking for him but gets laddered in the chest. Jeff dives off the bar again but gets rammed into the wall for his efforts. Now it’s Jeff being thrown over a set of drums and we take a break. Back with Sheamus Brogue kicking a drum and being sent into a table. The Twisting Stunner rocks Sheamus and Jeff grabs the ladder.

The bartender, the same one from the toast, jumps Jeff from behind though, earning himself a powerbomb through a table. Sheamus breaks a chair over Hardy’s back, puts his hat over Jeff’s face, and says sweet dreams. Sheamus has a drink and calls over the referee, but now Jeff’s face is painted and his eyeballs have some kind of a film over them. He gets up and hits Sheamus with a glass before climbing the ladder. The Swanton hits Sheamus for the pin at 13:14.

Rating: C. It was a good enough brawl but good grief enough with the supernatural stuff. Hardy going into some trance and suddenly having paint on his face took me way out of this as they were having a good and almost realistic fight for a long time. But then oh wait never mind because we need to tell some story or have Jeff be some weird creature. He can’t just fight up because he wants to prove people wrong and come back against the odds for the win. No no, the solution is to be smart instead, because that hasn’t gotten WWE in trouble lately whatsoever.

Overall Rating: C. Your individual taste may vary here as they seem to have a plan for Summerslam (that’s good) but some of the choices are a little out there (that’s usually bad). The action was good enough and the main event felt like a step forward for Hardy, but dang I don’t need to see anything cinematic for a LONG time to come. They do seem to be going in a few fresh directions though and right now, that is a good idea. Granted baseball’s big return is going to ravage this in the ratings anyway, but points for planting some seeds.

Results

Nikki Cross b. Alexa Bliss – Small package

Matt Riddle b. Tony Nese – Bro Derek

Gran Metalik b. Lince Dorado, Shorty G. and Drew Gulak – Rope walk elbow to Shorty G.

Jeff Hardy b. Sheamus – Swanton off a ladder

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 20, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Samoa Joe

We’re finally done with Extreme Rules and that means it’s time to get ready for Summerslam. I’m not sure what that is going to mean, but tonight we have Randy Orton vs. Big Show in an unsanctioned match. I’d be stunned if this doesn’t set up Orton vs. Drew McIntyre at Summerslam, which is the most logical main event they have had in a long time. Let’s get to it.

Here is Extreme Rules if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Eye For An Eye, which is no less ridiculous in highlight form.

Opening sequence.

Here are Rollins and Murphy for a chat, with commentary saying that Rey is expected to make a full recovery, deeming last night all the more meaningless. Rollins goes into a medical explanation of what happened and talks about how seeing the eye out of socket made him feel sick. Since then though, he has been asked if he regrets it. Rollins will answer that with a question: does the WWE Universe regret doing what they did to him?

They made him do these things, so let him ask them: do you regret what they have done to him, and by proxy, what they have done to Mysterio. Remember that the stipulation was Rey’s idea and actions have consequences. Mysterio is now out of sight and there is no one to stand in his way. Cue Aleister Black, who says the blame is all on Rollins. Black kicks Murphy down but Murphy is back up to keep Black from getting to Rollins just yet. Rollins bails to the floor as Black gets inside and we take a break.

Seth Rollins vs. Aleister Black

Joined in progress with Rollins stomping away but Black elbows him in the face. Rollins heads outside where he is sent into the apron and post, but Black’s right hand only hits the latter. Back in and Rollins hits the Sling Blade, plus a kick to the back for two. The armbar goes on, followed by a hammerlock, plus Rollins sending the arm into the corner. Black fights up with a boot to the face and a low bridge puts Rollins on the floor again.

The springboard knee misses for Rollins and Black starts striking away. Murphy gets knocked off the ropes but the standing Lionsault misses. Black Mass knocks Rollins silly but Murphy comes in, only to get kicked in the face. Rollins uses the delay to escape and it’s Black Mass to Murphy as we take a break. Back with Black missing Black Mass and getting superkicked. Rollins heads up top but misses a dive, allowing Black to hit a superkick of his own. The bad arm is sent into the mat though and Rollins nails the Stomp for a delayed pin at 12:02.

Rating: C+. They gave Black an out with the Murphy interference but it seems that they’re moving forward with Rollins as the big evil, because that’s what the show is needing. The eye thing was stupid, but Rollins is already a damaged character with all of his losses (like last week). Rollins is a great heel on his own. Why does he need this midcard gimmick to drag him down?

Post match Murphy goes back to the ring and wraps Black’s arm around the post a few times. The arm is spread out across the top of the table for a big stomp, with Rollins asking who is here to save Black.

We look at MVP claiming the US Title last night.

Ron Simmons of all people tell MVP and Bobby Lashley that there is a better way. Simmons leaves and R-Truth, with a frying pan, comes up to say MVP has a nice replica, even though Apollo Crews is the real champion. R-Truth accepts their invitation to the ring because he doesn’t want to be put in the nelson from the Simpsons again. Lashley says they want the new 24/7 champion in the ring. Shelton Benjamin pops up and hits R-Truth from behind to win the title.

Here are MVP, Lashley and Benjamin to talk about how MVP made history instead of excuses. It didn’t matter what Crews’ excuse was, but they’re on to other things. That would mean beating Dumb and Dumber tonight, when they face Ricochet and Cedric Alexander. Cue Ricochet and Cedric to mock the Dumb and Dumber line and say they’re ready to fight. They have a third partner, who is making his return to the show tonight.

Hurt Business vs. Ricochet/Cedric Alexander/Mustafa Ali

The good guys clear the ring and we take a break before the bell. Lashley blasts Cedric with a clothesline to start and takes him into the corner so Shelton can hammer away. MVP adds some knees to the ribs as commentary talks about Crews being the REAL US Champion, even though that’s not how rules work in wrestling. A belly to back suplex gives MVP two and Lashley hits the spear in the corner.

MVP’s running big boot in the corner sets up Ballin for two. Alexander gets a boot up and brings in Ali off the hot tag. The villains bail to the floor though and we take a break. Back with Lashley chinlocking Ricochet and choking away in the corner. Ricochet gets over to the corner though and it’s a hot tag to Ali. House is cleaned, including a suicide dive to send Lashley over the announcers’ table, and the 450 finishes MVP at 14:26.

Rating: C. I’m glad to see Ali back as he hasn’t been here in months now. I’m assuming this all but ends whatever was left of the hacker deal, which is a shame as that had some potential. Either way, it’s nice to see him here again as there was little reason to have him sit on the sidelines for months at a time.

Randy Orton talks about some of the important moments of his career and all of the people he has dealt with. Sometimes those people saved him from himself, but those moments brought him satisfaction. It made him feel better when he stood over Edge’s injured body, knowing that he had injured his career. Tonight, he’s going to enjoy Punting Big Show in the head and ending his career once and for all.

Ron Simmons is talking to the Viking Raiders.

Video on Big Show’s career.

Christian joins us via satellite and talks about the unsanctioned match with Orton. He can’t believe that Orton would use Christian’s respect for Ric Flair to Punt him in the head but that’s exactly what happened. Christian doesn’t regret a thing and would do it all again in a heartbeat. Tonight, he wants to see Big Show knock Orton out cold.

Bianca Belair explains the EST concept and is looking forward to showing up and put the IIconics in their place. Peyton Royce comes in and sends the interviewer away before calling Belair the dumbest of all time. Ruby Riott comes in to say Royce lost last week and now there’s no Billie Kay here. Royce says Billie is off handling business but since Peyton has beaten Ruby before, she might as well forfeit tonight. That’s not happening.

Ruby Riott vs. Peyton Royce

Riott drives her into the corner to start but Peyton shouts a lot and hits an elbow for two. The forearms to the back keep Ruby down and an elbow to the chest gets two more. Royce gets in a kick to the face but misses something off the top, allowing Riott to hit the Riott Kick for the pin at 3:18.

Rating: D+. This was a near squash until the ending but it is nice to see Ruby finally win something for a change. I know it doesn’t mean much as it’s just over Royce, but after going so long between singles wins, you take what you can get. It wasn’t a good match or anything, but that wasn’t exactly the point here.

We recap Angel Garza/Andrade jumping the Street Profits last month.

Garza, Andrade and Zelina Vega are ready for the Profits tonight and yes, they’re on the same page. Tonight, they’re getting a step close to becoming champions. Garza hits on Charly a bit more but here are the Profits to jump them from behind.

Street Profits vs. Andrade/Angel Garza

Non-title and Vega is at ringside. Andrade and Garza jump Ford to start and knee Dawkins in the ribs to start. Garza TAKES OFF HIS PANTS (his own, not Dawkins’) and it’s Andrade stomping on Dawkins as we settle down a bit. Dawkins fights up and brings in Ford to hit his dropkick, allowing us the eyes bugged out look. A big flip dive to the floor drops Andrade and we take a break.

Back with Ford being stomped down in the corner and Garza adding a big shot to the face. The armbar goes on, followed by a quickly broken abdominal stretch. An enziguri is enough for the hot tag to Dawkins and the pace picks up a lot. Everything breaks down and it’s Ford tagging himself back in for the frog splash to finish Garza at 11:09.

Rating: C. I like the surprise ending here as this felt like it was destined to be the traditional non-title win over the champions to set up the title shot. The Profits have been champions for so long that they won the titles in front of people and that’s kind of a good thing. Ever since New Day’s record reign, no team had held the titles for more than 98 days. You need to build up a team for awhile and that’s what the Profits are doing.

We look back at the end of Sasha Banks vs. Asuka, with Bayley becoming the referee and stealing the title from Asuka.

Zelina yells at Andrade and Garza but they have this.

Here are Bayley and Sasha Banks for a chat. Banks says she has this and explains her version of what happened last night. Asuka intentionally tried to blind the referee with the mist and Bayley just borrowed his shirt. Bayley did it because she’s a role model and now they have all the gold. A celebratory dance breaks out but here are Asuka and Kairi Sane to interrupt.

Sasha was not ready for Asuka last night and the title is still hers. Banks says come get it so here they come. Hold on though as Stephanie McMahon pops up on screen to say Banks isn’t the Raw Women’s Champion. The title is on the line next week and Sasha can lose via pinfall, submission, countout, DQ, or with Bayley interfering. I’m assuming that counts for Asuka as well, but since Stephanie didn’t say it, it isn’t gospel.

Bayley vs. Kairi Sane

Non-title. Sane slugs away to start but Bayley comes back with some shots of her own. That earns her a hip attack to the floor, only to have Bayley come back in and stomp away in the corner. The chinlock doesn’t last long on Sane so Bayley snaps off a suplex for two. Sane drapes her on the top rope though and hits a top rope double stomp to the back, sending Bayley outside in a heap.

We take a break and come back with Bayley unloading in the corner. This is so fascinating that we cut to the back for an interview with Shayna Baszler, who says her interest in the match is like a shark seeing prey. Back to full screen with Sane reversing a suplex into a DDT for a breather. The Sliding D connects but Bayley grabs an armbar over the ropes in the corner.

Sane sweeps the leg and goes up top for an Alberto double stomp into a near fall. The spinning backfist into the Interceptor drops Bayley again but the Insane Elbow misses. Another Interceptor is cut off with a knee to the face. Bayley drops her with a suplex but misses her own top rope elbow. The Bayley to Belly is loaded up instead but Sane reverses into a rollup for the pin at 15:38.

Rating: B-. Given all of the rumors of Sane leaving WWE soon, this is quite the surprising result. That being said, it can also offer to shake things up a bit. I can’t imagine Sane taking the title from Bayley or anything like that, but it is a good idea to give Bayley something to do while they figure out her next big challenger. Good match too, with the surprise ending helping things.

Here’s Drew McIntyre for a chat. Last night he survived against Dolph Ziggler, who put up a heck of a fight. That’s typical of Ziggler’s career though, so it’s time to move on. Summerslam is coming up so he wants a top challenger. Cue Ziggler, who says he was so close that he wants a rematch.

Drew says no so Ziggler asks again, earning himself a shot to the face. McIntyre goes to leave but Ziggler says we’ll do it again with McIntyre picking the stipulation this time. The match is on, but Drew won’t give him any details yet. Ziggler wants to know the stipulation but Drew doesn’t know just yet. He’ll tell him before the bell rings. So yes, we really do need to do this AGAIN, because Ziggler is just so compelling.

Big Show talks about Randy Orton’s history and trying to live up to his name. They were a team before and called themselves the Hammer and Chisel. Over time, Show grew to learn that a tiger can’t change its stripes. That seems to have changed now because the Legend Killer is back. Show knows there is a boot to the head with his name on it but like a tiger, he’s dangerous when he has nothing to lose. Orton isn’t ending his story.

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

Unsanctioned so anything goes. Show knocks him into the corner in a hurry and hammers away at the arm. The spear sends Orton outside but cue Angel Garza and Andrade to jump Show. They whip him into the steps but the Viking Raiders run out to break up the Punt attempt as we take a break. Back with an unset table in the ring and Orton kicking at the leg. Show hits a quick chokeslam for two but the threat of the KO Punch sends Orton outside.

Back in and Show knocks him down again, this time putting Orton on the table. A Vader Bomb only hits table though, allowing Orton to hit the RKO for two. Orton isn’t happy, so he blasts Show in the back with some chair shots, leaving the referee to discard the pieces of the broken table. Another chair shot to the back sets up a top rope hanging DDT and a second RKO finishes Show at 13:45.

Rating: C. That’s all you could have expected it to be and that’s fine. Orton got in there and wrecked Show, which was exactly what he should have done. Show is expendable and Orton is probably about to headline Summerslam. What more can you expect from a match that was designed to accomplish one single goal?

Orton Punts Show to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: C-. It really is amazing how much easier a show this is to watch when they don’t have the stupid details dragging everything down. The Eye for an Eye stuff was referenced, but there is a big difference between “we’re going to rip someone’s eye out” and “Seth did something evil.” I don’t need to see Ziggler vs. McIntyre again, but if next week ends with McIntyre standing tall until an RKO outta nowhere ends the show, I’ll be happy enough. Not a great show here, but the lack of stupid helped it a lot.

Results

Seth Rollins b. Aleister Black – Stomp

Cedric Alexander/Ricochet/Mustafa Ali b. Hurt Business – 450 to MVP

Ruby Riott b. Peyton Royce – Riott Kick

Street Profits b. Angel Garza/Andrade – Frog splash to Garza

Kairi Sane b. Bayley – Rollup

Randy Orton b. Big Show – RKO

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event
Date: July 16, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: MVP, Tom Phillips

It’s the go home show for Extreme Rules and I’m not sure if that is going to mean a thing around here. I’m sure the recapping will be strong around here, but that is the case every single time. Hopefully we get at least one good enough original match, though it’s anyone’s guess as to who will be involved. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Shayna Baszler vs. Jesse Kamea

Baszler takes her down with ease to start and toyfully kicks her in the back of the head. Jesse gets in her own take down and a bit more serious kick, only to be snapped down by the arm. Shayna hits the arm stomp and we hit the armbar. A forearm to the back sets up some different armbar variations, followed by a clothesline for two. Back up and Kamea misses a charge into the corner, setting up a double underhook spinning Big Ending. The Kirifuda Clutch finishes Kamea at 5:11.

Rating: D+. There is something so entertaining about watching Baszler slowly taking someone apart and knowing that she has nothing to worry about. Baszler is someone who feels different in the ring and is someone who can offer something fresh, but for some reason she sat around for two months instead. Maybe she can get something done now, but I wouldn’t get my hopes up.

From Raw.

We open with the VIP Lounge. He’s looking forward to Extreme Rules and his guest tonight has a big role at that show. This brings out Dolph Ziggler, and we see a clip of the Heath Slater mini saga from last week. Ziggler likes the lounge and they trade ideas of how to get into Drew McIntyre’s head. It isn’t hard to turn McIntyre into the one who got fired because Ziggler picked him up off the ground and made him the man he is today.

McIntyre has yet to thank Ziggler so MVP does it for him. Cue McIntyre, who doesn’t like all of the sucking up around here. He has come to the conclusion that Ziggler used people. Ziggler has used Big E. and Mandy Rose but he and McIntyre were never friends. On Sunday, Drew is going to take him apart and punish him. McIntyre wants to fight right now and headbutts Ziggler down. Now can we please be done with Ziggler tonight?

From Raw.

Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins

It’s a near lumberjack match here with several people at ringside. Rollins tries to bail to the floor to start but then comes back in to get kicked in the leg. Owens stomps away so Rollins begs off and gives him the sales pitch again, earning himself another stomping. Owens charges into a boot in the corner but Black gets in a distraction, setting up the Cannonball for two.

The double arm crank keeps Rollins in trouble before Owens sends him outside. Rollins tries to escape over the barricade but gets caught and beaten up again. They fight on the apron with Owens getting the better of things but Rollins slips out of a fireman’s carry. Back in and Rollins hits a chop block to put Owens outside again, setting up the suicide dive. We come back from a break with Rollins choking on the ropes and cranking on both arms as well.

Owens elbows his way to freedom and nails a superkick to put them both down. Rollins hits a quick Downward Spiral to send him into the middle buckle, followed by the Blockbuster for two. A superkick gets two more but the Stomp misses. Owens can’t hit the Stunner either so he sends Rollins back to the apron. Rollins goes after the eye to put Owens down, drawing Black and Dominick to the apron as well. Mysterio gets up too and that’s enough to set up the Stunner to finish Rollins at 16:29.

Rating: C+. It wasn’t the cleanest loss but it’s rather strange to see Rollins lose a match like this before going into the biggest Raw match on the pay per view. These two always work well together, but the Rollins messiah deal isn’t working for me and the matches haven’t been as good since he switched over. It’s still pretty good, but they can do better.

Post match, Mysterio promises to take Rollins’ eye.

Humberto Carrillo vs. Riddick Moss

Moss hasn’t been around in awhile. Carrillo gets shoved around by the power to start and then gets run over by a shoulder (MVP: “FIRST DOWN!”). Moss pulls him down by the hair again but this time Carrillo nips up and hits the high angle springboard armdrag. That’s enough to send Moss outside but he catches the springboard crossbody.

A good posting takes us to a break and we come back with Moss’ side slam getting two. Carrillo is sent to the apron though and hits the enziguri into the springboard missile dropkick. Moss gets boots up to block the moonsault though and the neckbreaker finishes Carrillo at 8:50.

Rating: C-. Moss is someone they seemed interested in pushing for a bit so it’s nice to see him back. I’m not sure if he is going to be able to do much of anything but at least he’s getting a chance to be out there trying something. It’s not like what WWE has been doing as of late is blowing the roof off the place as of late so trying something new seems like a good idea.

We get Bayley and Sasha Banks’ tribute video to themselves.

From Raw.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Bayley/Sasha Banks vs. Kabuki Warriors

The Warriors are challenging. Hold on though because the champs have something to say before the match. We see their tribute to themselves from a few weeks back and now it’s time for the Big Match Intros. The Warriors jump the champs before the bell and we take a break, mainly because they weren’t starting the match with 25+ minutes to go in the show. Banks (with her huge headband) bails from Asuka to start so it’s Bayley coming in for the lockup.

They circle around the ring for a bit until Bayley gets in a shot to the face to take over. Asuka gets over for the tag to Sane, who decks Banks with a forearm. The running Blockbuster hits Bayley and a double Interceptor puts both champs down. Things settle to Asuka armbarring Banks but Sasha is back up to catch Sane on top. Sane gets catapulted into the Plexiglas and we take a break.

Back with Sane being thrown into the corner for some right hands to the head. Bayley grabs a chinlock until Sane jawbreaks her way to freedom. Banks gets kicked away and a spinning backfist is enough for the hot tag to Asuka. House is cleaned again but Asuka is sent into the corner for Banks’ running knees.

Banks hits a high crossbody but Asuka rolls through into the Asuka Lock. Sane spears Bayley but Asuka makes the rope. The Insane Elbow connects for two as Bayley makes the save (with Asuka not noticing it despite Bayley being three feet from her). Sane hits the sliding forearm, only to have Banks reverse into the Bank Statement to make Sane tap at 18:12.

Rating: B. This was the best thing on the show, even though that isn’t saying much. They did a smart thing by having Banks get the win as it sets her up as a bigger threat to Asuka, though it was very nice to not have her beat Asuka again. I’m not sure who takes the titles off of Banks/Bayley, but they’re really gelling as a team and it’s nice to see that working so well.

Overall Rating: C. It’s rather telling that Smackdown is left out in the cold again. Maybe it’s a shift in WWE’s strategy for this show (assuming they have one) or maybe it’s how nothing Smackdown has been as of late, but this was all about Raw and nothing else. It’s nice to see Baszler back, but I’ll wait until she’s doing something important on Raw before I get overly excited.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Extreme Rules 2020
Date: July 19, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Samoa Joe, Corey Graves, Michael Cole

We have finally arrived at this one and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not. The show is dubbed The Horror Show at Extreme Rules because we have reached the point where a show involving taking someone’s eye out and a Swamp Fight requires a subtitle. There are no expectations coming in so hopefully they can exceed. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Kevin Owens vs. Murphy

Owens wastes no time in going for the Stunner but Murphy shoves him off and slugs away. Another attempt is blocked again and Murphy hits a knee to the face. The right hands stagger Murphy until he grabs a quickly broken sleeper. Murphy goes up but Owens kicks him out of the air and grabs a DDT. The backsplash hits knees but Owens is fine enough to knock him into the corner. The Cannonball connects for two and Owens isn’t sure what to do.

Murphy gets in a few more shots to the face and hits the top rope Meteora for his own two. Owens can’t hit the Pop Up Powerbomb and Murphy nails a pair of knees to the face, followed by the brainbuster for two more. Murphy’s superplex attempt is thrown off and Owens hits a jumping moonsault for a rather near fall. Murphy manages to get up top again but misses the Meteora, setting up the superkick into the Stunner to give Owens the pin at 8:51.

Rating: C. This could have been on almost any Raw and that’s all this needed to be. Owens is getting a bit of a renewed push and I could certainly go for more of that. Raw can use some extra star power and someone the fans seem to care about would be a good choice. Murphy is always worth a nice performance, though I’m not sure how much that is going to mean if he keeps losing.

The opening video focuses entirely on the horror aspect, saying the show is going to be very scary and how you’ll see things you’ve never seen before. The regular matches get a focus as well. Why in the world can they not do this for a Halloween themed show?

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Cesaro/Shinsuke Nakamura

New Day is defending in a tables match. There are no tags here so it’s a brawl to start with New Day getting the better of things. They head outside with Nakamura being sent into the barricade and Cesaro being sent into the steps. The first table is set up in the middle of the ring and Kofi goes up, only to need Big E. to break up a double superplex attempt.

The table is moved and Kofi slips out of a gorilla press on the apron, allowing Big E. to spear Cesaro through the ropes. Kofi is left alone so Nakamura kicks him down, leaving Big E. to get double kneed. Back in and the sliding knee knocks Big E. silly and Nakamura sets up a table on the floor. Kofi’s trust fall takes him down and it’s another table being stacked on top of the one outside.

Big E. can’t superplex Cesaro through bot of them and Kofi is knocked down on the floor. The swing sends Big E. into Nakamura’s knee to the head but it’s Kofi coming back in for the save. Nakamura gets knocked off the apron and Cesaro is sat on top, but he muscles Kofi up and powerbombs him through the tables for the titles at 10:12.

Rating: C. It’s a tables match so there is only so much that you can do with the whole thing. New Day losing is probably overdue, but at the same time, it’s not like there are a bunch of teams for them to lose to. Cesaro and Nakamura are going to be fine as a team, but I can’t imagine this being some big changing of the guard.

Alexa Bliss gives Nikki Cross and Asuka a pep talk and Cross gets WAY into it.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Nikki Cross

Cross is challenging with Alexa Bliss and Sasha Banks at ringside. Bayley armdrags her to start and strikes the double bicep pose while telling Cross to do it for Alexa. A big slap in the corner puts Bayley down though and Cross hits the Purge for a quick two. The high crossbody gives Cross two more and she does it again for the same. Bayley bails to the floor and gets hit with a third crossbody from the apron. Cross is a bit too happy so Bayley sends her hard into the Plexiglas.

Back in and Bayley grabs the chinlock before taking Cross outside to tie her in the ring skirt. Bayley stops to brag though, allowing Cross to slip out and crawl underneath the ring. That freaks Bayley out so much that Cross hammers her down and hits Bayley’s running elbow in the corner. The quick Bayley to Belly gets two on Cross and frustration starts mounting up in a hurry.

A superplex gives Bayley two more and Cross heads outside, where Bayley misses the baseball slide under the bottom rope. Back in and Cross hits a reverse DDT and a bulldog, followed by a belly to back suplex for two. Bayley misses a charge into the corner and gets caught with a Purge off the apron to the floor. Back in and Banks gets on the apron with Bliss cutting her off. The distraction is enough for Bayley to take Banks’ BOSS jewelry to knock Cross silly. The arm trap faceplant retains the title at 12:33.

Rating: C+. There were some good near falls in there, but I’m not sure how much drama there really was about Cross ending the very long title match. It would seem that we’re destined for Banks vs. Bayley, but at this point we’ve waited so long to get there that I can’t even bring myself to get interested in it anymore. The heel team works fine, but the singles title reign needs some challengers.

We go to the Firefly Fun House where Bray Wyatt is now a mad scientist. He wants to show us something scary and we almost see the karaoke contest from last week (ok that was funny). After yelling at Ramblin Rabbit for putting up the wrong tape, Bray talks about how Braun Strowman won’t be able to escape his past.

Apollo Crews vs. MVP will NOT be taking place as Crews has failed his pre-match physical due to an injury at the hands of Bobby Lashley.

We see a clip of Lashley full nelsoning Crews, which led to the injury.

Here are MVP and Lashley to brag about the whole thing. MVP says that’s what happens when you mess with Lashley and he declares himself the new champion via forfeit.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. Rey Mysterio. Rollins wanted to sacrifice Mysterio for the greater good of Raw and injured his eye with the corner of the ring steps. Mysterio was out of action so his son Dominick went after Rollins instead. When that didn’t work, Mysterio himself came back for revenge and tonight, you have to take your opponent’s eye out to win.

Rey Mysterio vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins pulls some pliers out of his jacket to show how things are going. Rey sneaks in from behind though and dropkicks Rollins in the back to start. It’s too early for a 619 so Rey headscissors him into the post instead. Rey grabs the pliers but Rollins moves away and gets a kendo stick. Another 619 attempt misses and this time the headscissors is countered into a Falcon Arrow onto the apron.

Something close to a low blow lets Rollins send him into the Plexiglas but he can’t put a kendo stick into Rey’s eye. Rollins pins him down with a chair though and gets a thumb near Rey’s eye but Rey chairs him in the ribs. Rollins pulls out a toolbox and finds a metal spike, which can’t hit the eye. Rey drop toeholds him into the corner of the announcers’ table but Rollins blocks the chair to the eye.

Back up and Rollins wedges a kendo stick in the corner but Rey blocks a whip into the end. Instead Rey is back with a seated senton and a tornado DDT sends Rollins outside. Rey’s sliding sunset bomb into the Plexiglas lets him break up a kendo stick but he can’t get the eye out (it makes you feel so stupid to type that).

There’s the 619 to put Rollins on the floor again and it’s Rey with a Stomp of his own. Rey drives the eye into the point of the steps but a low blow gets Rollins out. Rollins hits his own Stomp and says Rey did this to himself. Rollins drags him over to the steps and drives it into the corner, which apparently pops the eye out at 18:42.

Rating: B. Believe it or not, Rey Mysterio vs. Seth Rollins in a match with some time was pretty good. They could have a good match in their sleep and most of this was solid, as long as they weren’t trying to go for the eye. The ending was stupid, as expected of course, as the only thing you could see was a bit of white through Mysterio’s gloves. At worst it looked like a bit of a golf ball, which is probably a lot better than what it could have been. I know they’re having a horror themed show (because that goes with July) but can’t we just have a wrestling match?

The doctor gets Rey out and Rollins vomits. Rollins is booed out of the arena. Unless I missed something, the only thing you could see was a bit of white through Rey’s gloves. There was no big shot of the eye hanging out or anything and that’s a good thing given how stupid this could have been.

Bayley says she’s a big Rey fan but NO, he isn’t seeing double because she really does have two belts. Tonight, Sasha Banks will too.

We recap Braun Strowman vs. Bray Wyatt. Strowman was part of the Wyatt Family but broke free. Wyatt has been haunting Strowman though so he needs to go back to where it started and beat Wyatt once and for all.

Raw Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Asuka

Asuka is defending and Bayley/Kairi Sane are the respective seconds. Banks takes her down to start but Asuka kicks away. That earns her a quick Bank Statement and Asuka is in trouble early. Banks tries to drive Asuka’s arms to the mat but misses the Meteora. A corner run wristdrag is kicked out of the air and the hip attack sends Banks outside. Banks is fine enough to hit a 619 on the apron but Asuka blocks a sunset bomb attempt. Asuka gets back to the apron for a sliding knee to the face and they head back inside.

Some running knees have Asuka in trouble and Banks bends the fingers back to make it worse. The armbar goes on and Banks hits the running knees in the corner. Banks starts talking trash and you don’t do that to Asuka, who nails the spinning backfist. A quick headscissors sends Asuka face first into the buckle but she’s right back with a Codebreaker. They go to the apron with Banks teasing a German suplex to the floor. A standing switch lets Asuka try the same thing but Banks slips out and powerbombs her into the Plexiglas.

Back in and the frog splash gives Banks two, followed by the Bank Statement in the middle of the ring. Asuka makes the rope and they head to the apron with Banks getting hit in the face. A German suplex drops Banks hard and Asuka kicks away for two more. Asuka misses a missile dropkick though and gets kneed in the face to give Banks her own near fall. Banks goes up top and has to flip out of a German superplex. The running knees to the back connect but Banks slips off the ropes and comes up favoring her knee.

They slug it out from their knees as Bayley and Sane brawl on the floor. A Bayley to Belly plants Sane and Banks trades rollups with Asuka. The Asuka Lock goes on but Bayley throws in a title for a distraction so the referee doesn’t see the tap. Asuka lets go and Banks grabs the belt but the referee says no. Instead, Asuka loads up the green mist, which hits the referee. Bayley lays out Asuka and puts the referee’s shirt on to count the pin at 19:55…..and the bell actually rings? Banks’ music plays and she and Bayley leave with all of the titles so I guess this stands for now?

Rating: B-. Another good match with another rather dumb finish, but that goes without saying these days. For reasons that I’m not clear on, WWE doesn’t like this idea of having a match without doing something dumb to set up something else later. You can have the screwy ending but it might not be the best move to do something to set up a rematch with a ridiculous setup like this. Asuka vs. Banks in a long match was good because of the talent involved, but dang man. Going back to back with endings like that isn’t the best idea.

Rey’s eye could be saved with surgery so he’s on the way to a medical facility.

We recap Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre for the Raw World Title. They were partners a few years ago but then McIntyre turned on him. Ziggler claimed responsibility for McIntyre’s rise to the top of the company and gets to pick the stipulation tonight. We don’t know what it is yet though.

Raw World Title: Drew McIntyre vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler is challenging and it’s……Extreme Rules, for Ziggler only, and he can win the title via countout or DQ. It’s a brawl to start with McIntyre being sent outside but getting back in without much effort. Ziggler goes for the eyes and grabs a chair but McIntyre takes it away and throws it outside. McIntyre drops him onto the apron and takes it back inside where Ziggler’s offense has no effect. It’s right back to the floor with Ziggler sending him into various things and pulling out a table.

Back in and Ziggler gets caught with a helicopter bomb, only to come back with a low blow. A bunch of chairs are brought in and Ziggler unloads with some shots to the back. McIntyre’s throat is placed across the top of an open chair for another shot to his back for a close two. The champ is right back up and takes it outside with Ziggler being sent over the announcers’ table.

Ziggler slips out of a belly to belly though and hits a Fameasser off the table but McIntyre beats the count. The sleeper goes on but McIntyre grabbing the rope means nothing. McIntyre shakes him off and hits a hard clothesline for the double knockdown. Ziggler is taken back outside for a catapult into the Plexiglas and it’s a reverse Alabama Slam back inside. The Claymore is blocked with a chair to the knee though and the Zig Zag gets two.

They head outside again with Ziggler superkicking him onto the table and a huge elbow off the top of the post drives him through it. That’s only good for nine and Ziggler screams a lot. McIntyre hits a Glasgow Kiss but Ziggler is back with Fameasser into a Zig Zag. That doesn’t even get one so it’s a Rock Bottom onto the chair (nice nod to Rock’s comments about the match this week) for two on McIntyre. Ziggler tunes up the band but McIntyre nips up and hits the Claymore to retain at 15:34.

Rating: B. The stipulation made perfect sense here and that’s what let them have a good match. There was a grand total of zero drama of a title change but you can still have a nice match even under those circumstances. It doesn’t make up for the really dull build, but after the two previous matches, I can absolutely go for a good match with a clean ending.

Braun Strowman vs. Bray Wyatt

Non-title and in the swamp, with Bray sitting in the rocking chair as Braun arrives. Braun says he’s home and Bray laughs before disappearing. The rocking chair is thrown at an Abandon All Hope sign and Bray laughs again. Some masked goons appear and we cut to the Fun House with Mad Scientist Bray cheering for Braun. Someone pops up to hit Braun in the back with a shovel and it’s…..Braun in the sheep mask. Braun wakes up chained to a chair and Bray’s old music starts playing. He comes up with the lantern and walks up to Braun, welcoming him home.

Braun says he hates Bray for everything he made him do but Bray says he’s already dead. Bray is proud of what Braun has done but his success is temporary. What happens when Braun’s fifteen minutes are up? Braun can’t see where he belongs and he can’t understand that Bray isn’t his enemy. Together they could be like gods and the people would bow to them. Braun still says no but Bray talks about how good it feels to have his wings back. To make Braun the monster he needs to be, he has to destroy the monster Braun has become.

Bray asks if Braun wants to see something really scary. Cue a masked woman holding a snake, which bites Braun. Bray tells Braun to come home and we see shots of the old Wyatt Family. We cut to Braun next to a campfire, where he beats up more goons. One of them takes a shovel to the face and falls into the fire, sending him running off while in flames. A woman’s voice says Braun doesn’t need to do this and it’s….Alexa Bliss? She knows he’s always wanted them to be together and they can be together forever, just like he’s always wanted.

Bray pops up and goes for the eyes again but Braun throws him into a bat. Braun starts to leave but another, empty boat appears. He walks over to it but Bray pops up and hits him with a shovel before trying to drown Braun in the water. Braun comes out of the water and lays on the dock but Bray appears to swing the shovel at him again. Bray unloads with the handle of the shovel, saying look what Braun made him do.

Braun stands up behind him and kicks Bray through a wooden barricade and into the water. He says it’s over and the copyright notice comes up, but Bray pops up with the Mandible Claw and pulls him into the water. Bray tries to get out but falls back into the water. Everything turns red and the Fiend comes out to end the show. I’m not sure when the match began or ended but we’ll say it was about 18:30.

Rating: N/A. It wasn’t a match is any sense of the word so no rating. What we got instead was another cinematic angle which sets up the third part of the trilogy that I’m thinking only WWE is begging to see. This was about what was expected as Strowman vs. Fiend has been the endgame since the beginning. The cinematic stuff is done well, but it doesn’t help the fact that this isn’t an interesting feud, mainly because Strowman isn’t an interesting character. It’s one of the weaker one of these things, but if you liked the previous ones, you’ll probably like this too. Oh and look for Matt Hardy to complain about the water of reincarnation.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was running with an anchor all night long and it was getting obvious time after time. They were having good matches but it kept having to go to something else to take the focus off of the positives. Be it the eye stuff, the wacky interference or another cinematic ending, there was a good show in here being dragged down by all of the extra bells and whistles that WWE loves to tack on.

I get why they felt they needed something extra on this show, but dang it would be nice if they put in the effort to make the show work without all of that stuff. Not bad overall, but it needed someone to look at what they had on paper and say “no, try again.” The horror theme wasn’t exactly needed, that maybe it can show them that an EXTREME RULES pay per view isn’t the best idea if they need a gimmick to sell the gimmick show.

Results

Cesaro/Shinsuke Nakamura b. New Day – Powerbomb through tables

Bayley b. Nikki Cross – Arm trap faceplant

MVP b. Apollo Crews by forfeit

Seth Rollins b. Rey Mysterio – Rollins took out Mysterio’s eye

Sasha Banks b. Asuka – Pin after interference from Bayley

Drew McIntyre b. Dolph Ziggler – Claymore

Braun Strowman vs. Bray Wyatt went to a no contest

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Can we just get this done already? I’ve made no secret of the fact that I am not exactly thrilled with Extreme Rules and based on the last month or so of television numbers, a lot of the fans aren’t either. It seems like WWE isn’t trying very hard with the build to this show and that is coming off rather badly on television. That usually means a good show, but you can never be sure. Let’s get to it.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: New Day(c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Cesaro

This is a tables match, as chosen by Cesaro and Nakamura after Cesaro defeated Big E. on Smackdown. It is also my regular time to say that I don’t think New Day can go on forever as Tag Team Champions, even though they tend to go on forever as Tag Team Champions. You have to go with someone new at some point, though as usual, the question is whether that is what we are seeing here.

I think they do at least drop the titles here, as there is little to no reason to keep them on New Day at the moment. WWE has been hinting at teasing at a Big E. singles push (you can tell how sure they are about it) and it would be nice to see for a change. New Day is great, but how many times can we see the same thing over and over again? They do mix things up, but it tends to be New Day holding the titles forever, and that can get a little tiresome. New champs here, but I wouldn’t bet on anything long term.

US Title: Apollo Crews(c) vs. MVP

I still can’t get over how great MVP has been during this run. He can talk with the best of them in WWE today but he can also wrestle a match when necessary. A title run isn’t completely out of the question, but there seem to bigger issues out there to deal with. Crews feels like he has been ready to lose the title since the day he won it, and I’m not sure that changes here.

Crews retains this time around, as it seems that we are coming up on Crews vs. Bobby Lashley as the big boss at Summerslam. MVP is fine for a filler opponent until we get there, but as someone who doesn’t exactly get in the ring as a full time singles wrestler most of the time, I’m not sure I can see him getting a title run out of this. Either way, it should be a better match than you would expect and that’s always a nice treat.

Seth Rollins vs. Rey Mysterio

Let’s get this one out of the way. The idea here is that you have to take out your opponent’s eye to win. I get that they’re going for something to tie into the Horror Show idea (because they seem to think it’s October) but….dang man. Remember when you have two future Hall of Famers having a good match instead of this? They can have some kind of a violent, brutal match (maybe even an extreme one) without this nonsense.

I’ll take Rollins to win and hopefully get on to something other than this messiah deal that he has been doing which hasn’t worked so well yet. Mysterio doesn’t seem to have a contract at the moment so finding an out for him isn’t the worst idea. I’m not sure what else they can do with Rollins other than put him against Kevin Owens, but the real winner here is going to be the fans for seeing how stupid of a way they use to deliver on the ending (assuming they actually do).

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bayley(c) vs. Nikki Cross

Now this one could be a sleeper hit as the two of them can both do some good things in the ring. Bayley has gotten WAY better at her heel stuff in recent weeks and it has been a lot easier to watch her on all of the shows. Cross on the other hand is someone who seems capable of having an awesome match at the drop of a hat, though she rarely actually gets to that point.

Of course Bayley retains here though, as she has held the title so long that it is almost hard to imagine her losing the thing anytime soon. Then again, when you have practically held it for a year already, the idea of seeing you hold it much longer is a little hard to fathom. I can go for more of Bayley, though they need to make up their minds on the Sasha Banks stuff already. Or find a better top level challenger for her, as she has been lacking one for most of her time as champion.

Raw Women’s Title: Asuka(c) vs. Sasha Banks

While the other Women’s Title match seems more like a sleeper hit, this one is probably a wide awake one and might be the match of the night. Banks and Asuka do not have the biggest history together and it could be interesting to see what they can do in a big setting. I’m not sure I can imagine the title changing hands, though Asuka being a dominant main roster champion doesn’t quite feel right either.

For now though, I’ll say Asuka retains without the deepest confidence. What matters here though is having a good match between two talented wrestlers, which could be a rarity on this show. The women’s divisions have gotten better since the masses have been allowed to catch up with Charlotte and Becky Lynch gone, so hopefully these two can pull off what they are capable of doing here.

Braun Strowman vs. Bray Wyatt

This would be your middle match of the trilogy which is there for the sake of setting up the final match in the trilogy. This is still something that is supposed to be interesting based on that time where Strowman and Wyatt were in the same stable, even though they never really did anything significant together. However, this time they’re in a swamp, which is the kind of thing that you don’t see very often.

In the least surprising result of the month, of course Wyatt wins here, likely in a cool visual after we go through the swamp in their latest cinematic match. That is about all they have around here and I’m not sure if it is going to be enough to overcome a rather dull story. These two don’t feel like they’re having a major feud, but we’re going to be seeing them do it again next month too. But yeah Wyatt wins here, as you probably guessed when the match was announced.

Raw World Title: Drew McIntyre(c) vs. Dolph Ziggler

So now we have these two in the main event, which will probably be a pretty decent match. They can both do good stuff when they have the chance and they will here. The problem is that it isn’t a story I care to see, which is where they lose me. It’s a lot better than Strowman vs. Wyatt, but at the same time, it is going to feel like a big countdown until we get to the finish.

That finish of course will be McIntyre Claymoring Ziggler’s head off for the pin. I’m not sure why that is something that we need to sit through what will likely be twenty minutes to get there, but at least the action should be good. We should be in for a solid match, but I can’t imagine it’s going to be enough to make up for the general apathy every time that I hear Ziggler’s music playing.

Overall Thoughts

I’m to the point where I’m expecting the show to be good but it is going to have to be a complete home run to make up for the build. You can tell when WWE just isn’t trying and they haven’t been all month. Maybe that picks up with the start of the Summerslam build, but looking at the audience numbers dropping like stones and seeing this stuff getting weaker and weaker, they need a good one here to kick things off. I’m not sure if it is going to happen, but the show could look a heck of a lot worse.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: July 17, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

It’s the go home show for Extreme Rules and I think I can safely say thank goodness for that. We’ve had a long road to get here and there is one big match to go, as Matt Riddle challenges AJ Styles for the Intercontinental Title. Hopefully they can add in a little more for the pay per view, as it only has six matches set. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

AJ Styles is ready to beat the barefoot bump to retain the title because Riddle is a flash in the pan.

Matt Riddle is ready to beat Arrogant Jackass all over again.

Daniel Bryan is ready to see a new champion.

Alexa Bliss has a special mystery guest on A Moment of Bliss. Who is it? She doesn’t Bliss and tell.

Miz and John Morrison are getting ready for Morrison’s match against Braun Strowman. And something about fighting Jean Claude Van Damme on a yacht.

Braun Strowman hopes Bray Wyatt is watching tonight.

Shinsuke Nakamura and Cesaro are ready to pick the stipulation for Sunday’s Tag Team Title match after Cesaro beats Big E.

New Day doesn’t think so.

Big E. vs. Cesaro

Kofi Kingston and Shinsuke Nakamura are at ringside and the winner gets to pick the stipulation (between a tables match and a cage match) for Sunday. They go outside in a hurry with Big E. driving him into the steps. A spear into the steps makes it even worse but Big E. misses a charge into the post back inside. Cesaro posts him again and hits a middle rope ax handle to the head for two. The chinlock goes on but Big E. fights up with belly to belly suplexes. The apron splash connects and we take a break.

Back with Cesaro cutting off a comeback big with an uppercut but Big E. reverses the Neutralizer into the Brock Lock of all things. That’s reversed as well and Cesaro swings him into the Sharpshooter. Cesaro switches into a Crossface but Big E. makes the rope. Kofi gets taken out as Big E. loads up the Big Ending, which nearly hits the referee. The distraction lets Nakamura get in a cheap shot and the Neutralizer lets Cesaro make the choice at 10:07.

Rating: C. This is a match that could have worked better with some more time and it worked out well enough here. They had been teasing a tables match for a few weeks now so the ending wasn’t quite in doubt, but I’ll take a little drama over building momentum every time.

Post match Cesaro and Nakamura load up another table but Kofi is back for the save. Nakamura gets Cesaro off the table in time though and they bail.

King Corbin wants to see Styles retain tonight because he doesn’t like Riddle. See, Riddle is playing with fire by going after the big dogs and tonight he’s going to get burned. Tonight, people are going to realize that the Bro is a little boy.

It’s time for A Moment of Bliss, with Alexa Bliss feeling clairvoyant. She thinks the Los Angeles Lakers are going to win the NBA Championship, that Matt Riddle is winning the Intercontinental Title tonight, that Braun Strowman is going to win the Swamp Fight, and that her mystery guest is going to tear the roof off on Sunday. Nikki Cross thinks it’s her and promises to do just that against Bayley. Bliss asks how many Nitro Boosts Cross has had, because she isn’t the guest.

Cue Bayley and Sasha Banks, with Bayley promising to retain on Sunday. She has a prediction of her own: on Sunday, she is beating Nikki and Banks is beating the Empress of Yesterday Asuka, to win every belt there is. That’s all well and good, but Bayley and Banks aren’t the guest. Cue Asuka, with the brawl starting in a hurry. Bliss says get a referee out here.

Hold on though as Daniel Bryan says that he thinks Riddle is winning the title again.

Asuka/Nikki Cross vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks

Non-title. Cross throws Bayley down to start and hammers away on her in the corner. Banks offers a distraction though and Bayley pulls her down by the hair. The armbar doesn’t last long and it’s back to Bayley to stomp away. A double whip sends Cross into the corner again and Bayley grabs the chinlock. That lasts as long as your run of the mill chinlock and Cross fights up for the tag off to Asuka. House is cleaned in a hurry and Asuka ties Banks up in the ring skirt.

It’s back to Cross to forearm away and scream a lot. Bayley’s baseball slide under the corner is countered into the ring skirt as well and it’s Cross and Asuka hitting dives off the apron. Dancing takes us to the break. Back with Asuka in trouble and Banks stomping away before handing it back to Bayley. More stomping ensues and it’s Banks grabbing the chinlock.

Bayley misses an elbow though and it’s a hot tag to Cross to pick up the pace. A bulldog out of the corner drops Banks but she’s right back with a dropkick to the ribs for two. Bayley comes back in and sends Cross outside, where Cross hits a springboard tornado DDT off the announcers’ table. Everyone winds up back inside until Banks kicks Asuka to the floor. The Meteora off the apron misses and Asuka kicks Banks down, leaving Bayley to counter another DDT into a rollup with feet on the ropes to pin Cross at 14:20.

Rating: C+. The energy was high here, though I’m still not believing there is much of a chance at either title changing hands on Sunday. Bayley and Banks have been on television a lot as of late and they’re really gelling as a team as of late. The problem though is they’re beating everyone and I’m not sure who is left to give them a real challenge.

Miz fires up Morrison, who compares Strowman to a movie monster. They’re movie guys, but Miz isn’t going to be the best friend who dies fighting said monster. He’ll have Morrison’s back though.

This week’s Firefly Fun House takes us to the Swamp with Eater of Worlds Wyatt. Bray talks about how he brought Strowman here and told him the truth. He gave Strowman a purpose and created the monster. But then Strowman left, only to want to come back to the swamp to face Wyatt once and for all. Wyatt wants his monster to come home because the monster is still inside.

John Morrison vs. Braun Strowman

Non-title and Miz is in Morrison’s corner. Before the match, Strowman talks about having to go to the swamp and slap the devil in the face to end this once and for all. Strowman starts fast and hits the running clothesline in the corner. Morrison gets forearmed in the chest over and over, followed by a one armed chokeslam. The old head and arm choke sets up the running powerslam to finish Morrison at 1:47. That’s how it should have gone.

Post match, Strowman says he’s coming home. Strowman leaves and Morrison needs help getting out.

Naomi vs. Lacey Evans

Naomi cuts off Lacey’s pre-match promo and we’re ready to go. A few shots to the ribs have Lacey in early trouble but she knocks Naomi down and hits the slingshot elbow. The bottom rope moonsault hits Naomi’s raised knees and some kicks to the ribs keep Lacey in trouble. There’s a running hurricanrana to put Lacey in the corner and a kick to the head knocks her down on the apron. Lacey catches her charging in and ties the hair around the ropes for a creative stop. That’s broken up and the Woman’s Right finishes Naomi at 2:43. So why couldn’t they just do this last week?

Jeff Hardy talks about how fighting a bully like Sheamus is like fighting addiction. Yes it’s risky to walk into a bar but it’s going to be worth the chance to beat up Sheamus. As for tonight’s Intercontinental Title match…..well I’m not sure actually as Sheamus kicks him in the face. Sheamus says he’s here to cleanse Jeff of his demons, so see you next week fella. So the Bar Fight is on Smackdown and not at the pay per view? Ok then.

Bayley and Banks talk about having the momentum going into Sunday.

Cross is upset about losing and doesn’t want to let everyone down. Bliss tries to calm her down but Cross runs after Bayley and Banks, who are standing nearby. Bliss has to break it up, with Bayley wanting a leash on Cross.

Here are the same promos from AJ and Riddle that opened the show.

Intercontinental Title: Matt Riddle vs. AJ Styles

Styles is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. Riddle blocks an early Irish whip attempt and hits the rolling gutwrench suplexes to put AJ on the floor. A running knee puts AJ down again so he rips off the announcers’ table, only to get kicked in the head. We take a break and come back with AJ still in trouble as commentary thinks he’s off his game tonight.

AJ manages a belly to back faceplant to drop Riddle though and it’s time for the forearms in the corner. Some shots to the leg have Riddle in trouble and we hit the chinlock. Riddle powers up and drives him into the corner, setting up the running backsplash. The Bro To Sleep into the Final Flash connects for two and we take another break.

Back again with AJ hitting a clothesline out of the corner but Riddle strikes away without much trouble. Riddle charges into a superkick though but AJ can’t hit the Styles Clash. Instead Riddle hits a ripcord knee to the face, only to miss the Floating Bro. A brainbuster gives AJ two but he has to fight out of the Bro Derek. They strike it out with AJ reversing a Pele into the Calf Crusher. Riddle reverses that into a Bromission attempt but can’t quite get it on. Instead, AJ reverses into a cradle for the clean pin at 18:07.

Rating: B. I’m not wild on the 50/50 booking, though losing a clean fall to AJ Styles is far from some career killer. Riddle has gotten a good start to his run on Smackdown, but I’m worried about the double hit of losing here and then having to feud with Corbin for weeks on end. I know he had frostbite on his feet, but that isn’t the kind of heat he needs.

Post match AJ shakes Riddle’s hand but here’s Corbin from behind to beat Riddle down.

Overall Rating: C+. Maybe it was last week’s show being so bad but this was a lot easier to watch than most shows. Imagine that: you get rid of the stupid stuff like karaoke and have a good, long main event and the show gets that much better. I still have no desire to watch Extreme Rules, but at least they had something better here for a change.

Results

Cesaro b. Big E. – Neutralizer

Bayley/Sasha Banks b. Asuka/Nikki Cross – Rollup with feet on the ropes to Cross

Braun Strowman b. John Morrison – Running powerslam

Lacey Evans b. Naomi – Woman’s Right

AJ Styles b. Matt Riddle – Cradle

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event
Date: July 9, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, MVP

We’re still slowly, and I do mean slowly, making our way to Extreme Rules and that means more recaps tonight. No matter how much changes in WWE though, Main Event is about as consistent as you can get: it might be good and it might be bad, but it is almost never going to mean a thing. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Titus O’Neil vs. Akira Tozawa

Tozawa has his ninjas with him. Commentary actually remembers Tozawa’s time with Titus Worldwide in your surprising moment of the day. A chop just annoys Titus but the ninjas block a chokeslam to the floor attempt. Titus: “NINJA THIS!” The ninjas are taken out but Tozawa gets in a running dropkick to put Titus down for the first time and a backsplash gets two. The chinlock goes on as MVP talks about ninjas being shapeshifters. That’s broken up and Titus hits a big boot, followed by the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 4:49.

Rating: D+. Tozawa is one of the most confusing stars in all of WWE. He’ll win matches on 205 Live and in the cruiserweight division, then be treated as a little something on Raw, only to lose to Titus O’Neil on Main Event. What kind of logic and sense is there to that? Nothing against Titus, but he hasn’t wrestled an important match in how long?

From Raw.

Here’s Kevin Owens for the KO Show. Since his guest is Seth Rollins, he doesn’t waste time in getting rid of the chairs. Rollins comes out and asks how Owens’ broken ankle is doing. Owens: “It’s feeling a lot better than your ego.” Owens talks about the bond the two have from facing each other at Wrestlemania so he has a gift for Rollins. It’s a KO Mania III shirt, just like the one he was wearing when he beat Rollins at Wrestlemania.

Rollins throws it away and says he doesn’t care about any of this. The only reason he is out here is to use the show as a platform to address Rey Mysterio. Rollins officially challenges Mysterio for Extreme Rules, but at the same time, he has been thinking about Owens. Maybe Owens would get more out of fighting with Rollins instead of against him. Owens is all about fighting so maybe he should fight for the greater good.

Cue Mysterio and Dominick to interrupt, with Rey accepting the challenge. As for tonight though, Rey needs a partner for the scheduled tag match. Owens cuts them off and offers to be Mysterio’s partner, with an extra bonus: the winning team picks the stipulation for Rollins vs. Mysterio. The fight is on in a hurry.

Kevin Owens/Rey Mysterio vs. Seth Rollins/Murphy

Dominick is here too. Joined in progress with Mysterio hammering on Murphy and sending him to the floor for a hurricanrana from the apron. Back in and Rey hits an enziguri to hand it off to Owens. An elbow to the head allows the tag to Rollins, who hammers away on Owens against the ropes. Owens clotheslines him down and drops the backsplash to pick up the pace a bit.

They head outside to keep up the brawl before handing it off to their partners. Murphy has to avoid the 619 and then gets in a cheap shot, allowing Rollins to rake Dominick’s eye. We take a break and come back with Rollins working on Owens’ leg. Murphy’s cheap shot prevents the hot tag attempt and it’s Rollins sending Owens into the corner.

A backdrop sends Rollins to the apron so Owens can get in a superkick, which hurts his still healing ankle all over again. Everything breaks down and Rollins grabs Dominick, but here’s Black to make the save. Black doesn’t touch him though to avoid the DQ, allowing Dominick to go after Murphy’s eye. Rey hits the 619 into the frog splash for the pin at 11:50.

Rating: C. I’m still not feeling the eye for an eye thing but Owens is a lot more interesting to watch that Humberto Carrillo. Black and Mysterio are both easy enough but Carrillo manages to suck the life out of the show whenever he’s out there. The problem is that Dominick does something similar and he isn’t likely to be leaving anytime soon.

Post match, Rey picks an Eye For An Eye match, where the first person to pull out an eye wins.

From Raw.

Here’s Drew McIntyre to open things up. McIntyre talks about how he’s ready for whatever Dolph Ziggler has planned for him. Maybe it’s a cage match, a street fight, or a match on the edge of a cliff over a volcano with sharks with frigging laser beams on their heads. So get out here and make your announcement. Cue Ziggler, who says he isn’t going to tell anyone about the choice until they get to Extreme Rules. Ziggler talks about how great he is and says Drew’s resume is a big black hole from 2014-2017.

McIntyre brings up Wrestlemania so Ziggler says that McIntyre got there by stepping on a lot of people. Like this man, so here’s Heath Slater. Heath talks about their history together and everything that has happened between them over the years. Back in April, Slater watched McIntyre become WWE Champion, but then he was released two weeks later. When McIntyre was released, Slater called him every day, but where was McIntyre for him?

Slater and McIntyre only talked on the Bump, because it was the only show they would let him on. McIntyre knows Slater’s kids, and not the 22 the world thinks he has. When Slater was there for him, McIntyre wasn’t there for Slater. Remember when McIntyre said he would petition for a match with Slater? Well now he’s on the unemployment line so now he wants McIntyre to give him what he deserved. Slater slaps him in the face and McIntyre gets serious and says it’s on.

Heath Slater vs. Drew McIntyre

Non-title and they’re both in street clothes. Claymore finishes Slater in 22 seconds. Thank goodness they didn’t try to make Slater a serious thing in this mess.

Post match Ziggler yells at Slater so the fight is on with McIntyre saving Slater. McIntyre and Slater hug.

Peyton Royce vs. Bianca Belair

Billie Kay is here with Peyton. Belair tells her to bring it to start but Peyton would rather roll away instead. Peyton gets taken down without much trouble and a running shoulder does it again. There’s another shoulder to the floor and Belair follows her, only to miss a charge into the post. Back from a break with Peyton cranking on the arm before sending Belair face first into the bottom buckle.

Belair sends her into the top turnbuckle to even things up but Peyton snaps the arm across the top rope. Belair fights back again and grabs an O’Connor roll, with the kickout sending her into an interfering Billie. The distraction lets Belair Glam Slam Peyton into the corner and it’s the KOD for the pin at 10:04.

Rating: C-. Belair is a lot easier to watch as a face and I never would have bet on that. Granted it helps to be in there against the IIconics, who are two of the most dislikable wrestlers in all of WWE. It’s good to see some of these other women getting a chance too, as they need to restock the shelves at some point.

Video on Braun Strowman vs. Bray Wyatt.

From Raw.

Asuka vs. Bayley

Non-title with Sasha Banks and Kairi Sane at ringside and Nikki Cross on commentary. Security tells her to stay calm but she freaks out again after Bayley and Banks taunt her. Bayley runs the ropes to start and the threat of the Asuka Lock sends her straight to the floor. A knee to the face on the apron rocks Asuka, but Bayley knocks Cross’ headset off, sending her into insanity again. Cross is taken out and Asuka knees Bayley in the face (Sasha’s UH OH face is great) as we take a break.

Back with Bayley tripping her down and forearming at the spine to take over. A sliding lariat gives Bayley two and we hit the chinlock. Bayley sends her outside, where the four women get in a staredown. The distraction lets Asuka score with a kick for two, followed by a kick to the chest for the same. A Banks distraction slows Asuka down though and Bayley catapults her into the ropes twice in a row for two. Bayley sends her outside and onto the announcers’ table, allowing her to sit in on commentary for a bit. Bayley says this tastes so good and we take a break.

Back again with Bayley chinlocking away and then running her over for two. Asuka fights up with a backfist and an elbow to the face, followed by some knees for a bonus. The hip attack gives Asuka two more and one heck of a backfist puts Bayley on the apron. Back in and a middle rope dropkick gives Asuka two more but Bayley sends her outside. The running knee sends Asuka’s head into the barricade and a cheap shot takes Sane down as well.

The distraction lets Banks get in a cheap shot to set up a Saito suplex to give Bayley two. Bayley is frustrated but gets freaked out as Cross is now behind the Plexiglas. The distraction lets Asuka grab the Asuka Lock. Bayley can’t flip out of I so Banks comes in, only to get speared down by Sane. Asuka switches to a rollup for the pin at 23:25.

Rating: B. This was one of the few times where Bayley actually felt like she was standing toe to toe with one of the top stars of either women’s division. You don’t see her do that very often and it was nice to see for a change. I wasn’t sure who was going to win here and that’s a very nice feeling to have every now and then. Good match, with the interference and shenanigans tying into a few stories and keeping Bayley protected in the loss.

Overall Rating: C. The recap stuff was better than usual and the original stuff at least felt different, but there isn’t much of a way around the fact that Extreme Rules is not interesting no matter what kind of dressing they put on it. I’m hoping we get something a little better than what they’ve been teasing, but there isn’t much of a reason to believe that will be the case. Just get on to Summerslam already, please?

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 13, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Samoa Joe

It’s the go home show for Extreme Rules and I think I can safely say thank goodness for that. In other words, it’s the last week that we need to act like Dolph Ziggler matters as a main event player of any kind in 2020, but also hopefully the last week of WWE sleepwalking through their television, as the Summerslam build can begin. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with the VIP Lounge. He’s looking forward to Extreme Rules and his guest tonight has a big role at that show. This brings out Dolph Ziggler, and we see a clip of the Heath Slater mini saga from last week. Ziggler likes the lounge and they trade ideas of how to get into Drew McIntyre’s head. It isn’t hard to turn McIntyre into the one who got fired because Ziggler picked him up off the ground and made him the man he is today.

McIntyre has yet to thank Ziggler so MVP does it for him. Cue McIntyre, who doesn’t like all of the sucking up around here. He has come to the conclusion that Ziggler used people. Ziggler has used Big E. and Mandy Rose but he and McIntyre were never friends. On Sunday, Drew is going to take him apart and punish him. McIntyre wants to fight right now and headbutts Ziggler down. Now can we please be done with Ziggler tonight?

Andrade, Angel Garza and Zelina Vega say they’re awesome and have the Street Profits running scared. Charly Caruso is beneath Vega but Garza pulls out a rose. Before he can give that to anyone though, the Viking Raiders pop up to accuse them of dishonoring the Street Profits. Ivar takes the rose and gives it to Charly, who seems to appreciate the gift. Garza, not so much.

Andrade/Angel Garza vs. Viking Raiders

Elimination rules and Vega is here as well. Garza and Andrade jump Erik to start and it’s Ivar getting beaten into the corner. Garza TAKES OFF HIS PANTS but the delay lets Ivar bring Erik in. The Hammer of Thor gets two on Garza with Andrade making the save. A superkick staggers Erik though and Andrade comes in for the running knees in the corner. Garza takes out Ivar and the hammerlock DDT gets rid of Erik at 2:35.

Back from a break with Garza kicking Ivar to the floor and Andrade reluctantly praising him for it. The delay lets Ivar dive onto both of them but Garza grabs a small package for two back inside. A heck of a right hand drops Garza and a big clothesline does it again. Andrade tags himself in to save Garza from a powerslam but Ivar kicks him in the head for the pin at 7:58.

So it’s Garza vs. Ivar, with the former dropkicking him down. The Wing Clipper is broken up and Ivar sits on his chest out of the corner. Another spinning kick to the face gets two with Andrade putting the foot on the rope. Garza counters another seated senton out of the corner into a powerbomb and pulls the trunks for the pin at 9:23.

Rating: C-. There was little need for this to be under elimination rules, as having Andrade and Garza get a fall on the Raiders in less than three minutes gave you all of the impact that they needed. That being said, it made sense as they needed to fill in time, which is something that has to happen almost every week these days.

The IIconics laugh at Ruby Riott for not having a partner tonight but Bianca Belair comes in and explains the EST of WWE name. She does the three claps and Ruby Riott does the same, saying “what she said.”

IIconics vs. Ruby Riott/Bianca Belair

Billie’s face cringe when Belair comes out is good. Ruby and Peyton start but a Billie distraction lets Peyton get in a cheap shot. Ruby rolls her up twice in a row for two until Kay comes in off a blind tag and gets two off a big boot. Peyton’s spinwheel kick gets two but Billie gets kicked away, allowing the hot tag to Belair. House is cleaned and a handspring moonsault gets two on Billie with Peyton making the save. Peyton and Ruby fight on the floor and the KOD finishes Billie at 3:23.

Rating: D+. This was nothing but a showcase for Belair and that is long overdue. I’m so glad that they brought her up, featured her up for two weeks, and then put her on the sidelines for the sake of the Viking Profits stuff. Belair is WAY easier to watch as a face too, which is almost shocking as she seems as natural of a heel as you can have.

R-Truth congratulates Ricochet for being named MVP of Raw, but it’s really Ricochet vs. Bobby Lashley with MVP in his corner. Truth says Ric Flair has challenged him but Cedric Alexander corrects him by saying Flair challenged him to face Randy Orton tonight instead. That means Truth needs something new so he walks over to Akira Tozawa, who he needs to teach him to be a black belt in about ten minutes. Tozawa says no, which brings in the Ninjas. Ricochet and Cedric pop in for their own martial arts poses, including Ricochet in a crane kick pose. Truth wants a match with Tozawa in the ring right now.

24/7 Title: R-Truth vs. Akira Tozawa

Truth is defending but doesn’t like the idea of all these ninjas. Cue Shayna Baszler of all people to clear out the Ninjas, with Tozawa leaving before he gets beaten down. Baszler turns to face Truth, who will let himself out. No match.

Baszler sticks around to say she’s tired of waiting around. All these Women’s Champions have no idea what it means to be tough so the Queen of Spades is here to hit them with a hard dose of reality. It wasn’t the most original promo, but it’s better than having Baszler sit around for weeks on end.

We look back at the setup for the Eye For An Eye match between Rey Mysterio and Seth Rollins.

Murphy and Rollins are in the back and Rollins asks Murphy what is wrong. Murphy is worried about the stipulation but Rollins says to focus on his match with Aleister Black tonight. Rollins has a message to deliver.

Here’s Rollins with said message. He keeps saying the name of the match and that he knows what it means before asking how we got to this point. All he is trying to do is lead Raw to a brighter future and Mysterio won’t do his part for the greater good. How could WWE sanction such a match? Rollins needs everyone to understand that he never meant to harm Mysterio. All he wanted to do was fulfill his prophecy, which came from the WWE Universe.

They wanted him to lead WWE into the future and that is what he is doing. After Sunday, Rey will no longer be able to see his son get married or watch a sunset with his wife. Cue Kevin Owens, who isn’t sorry for interrupting. Last week when Owens came up with the idea of either Rollins or Mysterio picking the stipulation, he was expecting a last man standing match or a cage match. Now someone is going to lose an eye, so he has a present for Rollins from Jean-Pierre LaFitte: an eye patch. Rollins calls Murphy out here now but Aleister Black cuts him off and the fight is on as we take a break.

Aleister Black vs. Murphy

Joined in progress with Rollins and Owens at ringside. Murphy kicks him down into the corner until Black kicks him out of the air for a double knockdown. There’s a running knee to Murphy’s face, followed by a jumping knee to the face for two more. Black Mass is broken up with a shot to the knee but Black kicks him out to the apron without much effort. Murphy tries a suplex to the floor but gets hit with Black Mass. Rollins breaks up the cover for the DQ at 4:25.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t up to their usual standard but what are you expecting in a five minute match? Rollins cheating is a fine enough ending, though I could go with Black getting a few more clean wins. Murphy needs one more, as he may be a lackey, but he’s a rather talented lackey. Then again this story hasn’t exactly been kind to most so it isn’t the biggest surprise.

Post match Owens chases Rollins into the ring and here are Rey Mysterio and Dominick to surround him even further.

Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins

It’s a near lumberjack match here with several people at ringside. Rollins tries to bail to the floor to start but then comes back in to get kicked in the leg. Owens stomps away so Rollins begs off and gives him the sales pitch again, earning himself another stomping. Owens charges into a boot in the corner but Black gets in a distraction, setting up the Cannonball for two.

The double arm crank keeps Rollins in trouble before Owens sends him outside. Rollins tries to escape over the barricade but gets caught and beaten up again. They fight on the apron with Owens getting the better of things but Rollins slips out of a fireman’s carry. Back in and Rollins hits a chop block to put Owens outside again, setting up the suicide dive. We come back from a break with Rollins choking on the ropes and cranking on both arms as well.

Owens elbows his way to freedom and nails a superkick to put them both down. Rollins hits a quick Downward Spiral to send him into the middle buckle, followed by the Blockbuster for two. A superkick gets two more but the Stomp misses. Owens can’t hit the Stunner either so he sends Rollins back to the apron. Rollins goes after the eye to put Owens down, drawing Black and Dominick to the apron as well. Mysterio gets up too and that’s enough to set up the Stunner to finish Rollins at 16:29.

Rating: C+. It wasn’t the cleanest loss but it’s rather strange to see Rollins lose a match like this before going into the biggest Raw match on the pay per view. These two always work well together, but the Rollins messiah deal isn’t working for me and the matches haven’t been as good since he switched over. It’s still pretty good, but they can do better.

Post match, Mysterio promises to take Rollins’ eye.

Big Show comes up to Ric Flair in the back, who talks about knowing Show for twenty years. Flair has always been impressed by him because Show has unparalleled coordination for his size. Now Show is getting into Netflix and he can go into the Hall of Fame healthy. Why risk that to mess with Randy Orton? Show seems to think about it and stops Flair from leaving. He knows what Flair just tried to do and wants to know if Flair is willing to sacrifice his friendships so Orton can be the Legend Killer.

Video on how Orton became the Legend Killer.

Orton talks about having a few people who he has been close to over the years. One of them was Edge, who he sent home to be a father after Edge wouldn’t do it on his own. Christian wanted one more match and got kicked in the head. Then there was Big Show, who was one of the first people to take Orton under his wing. So why would Show want to avenge a few cracked skulls rather than maintain their friendship?

Finally there is Ric Flair, who is family. It would be a shame if Flair did anything to cost them their friendship. Tonight Orton faces R-Truth, who has done a great job of entertaining the people around here. Tonight, he’s the next victim of the Legend Killer. Flair comes in and says it’s time to go to the ring, but Orton says he’ll be right there and stares a bit.

Randy Orton vs. R-Truth

Non-title. Before the match, Flair praises R-Truth for being here for twenty years and knows Orton thanks a lot of him as well. That’s why tonight, it’s the RKO instead of the Punt. Truth goes after Flair to start and suckers Orton in, only to miss the ax kick. The RKO finishes Truth at 33 seconds.

Post match Orton loads up the Punt but here’s Big Show to break it up. Orton tells him to stop on the ramp though because the Punt is going to be for Show. The challenge is issued for next week in an unsanctioned match. Show: “OKAY!” And he chases Orton to the floor.

MVP and Lashley come up to Ricochet and Alexander in the back. Alexander turns down MVP’s offer again so MVP brags about guaranteeing a US Title win on Sunday. The interviewer goes over to Drew McIntyre, who is ready for any stipulation. Ziggler jumps him from behind and the fight is on, with referees and agents breaking it up.

Ricochet vs. Bobby Lashley

Cedric and MVP are at ringside. Ricochet goes fast to start but gets dropped face first onto the apron. Back in and Lashley muscles him up for the spinning Dominator for two. Ricochet comes back with a kick to the head and the standing shooting star press for two of his own. A superkick rocks Lashley but he counters a handspring into the full nelson to make Ricochet tap at 3:34.

Rating: C-. I was surprised by the kickout on the Dominator but at least they didn’t do anything too crazy here. I’m still surprised that MVP is getting the title shot on Sunday but there is a really good chance that it’s Lashley challenging for the title at Summerslam anyway. Keeping him warm with wins like this is a good idea and there was no reason to believe Ricochet would pull off the upset here.

Post match Alexander tries to make the save but gets full nelson slammed.

Big Show accepts Orton’s challenge. Thanks for confirming that.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Bayley/Sasha Banks vs. Kabuki Warriors

The Warriors are challenging. Hold on though because the champs have something to say before the match. We see their tribute to themselves from a few weeks back and now it’s time for the Big Match Intros. The Warriors jump the champs before the bell and we take a break, mainly because they weren’t starting the match with 25+ minutes to go in the show. Banks (with her huge headband) bails from Asuka to start so it’s Bayley coming in for the lockup.

They circle around the ring for a bit until Bayley gets in a shot to the face to take over. Asuka gets over for the tag to Sane, who decks Banks with a forearm. The running Blockbuster hits Bayley and a double Interceptor puts both champs down. Things settle to Asuka armbarring Banks but Sasha is back up to catch Sane on top. Sane gets catapulted into the Plexiglas and we take a break.

Back with Sane being thrown into the corner for some right hands to the head. Bayley grabs a chinlock until Sane jawbreaks her way to freedom. Banks gets kicked away and a spinning backfist is enough for the hot tag to Asuka. House is cleaned again but Asuka is sent into the corner for Banks’ running knees.

Banks hits a high crossbody but Asuka rolls through into the Asuka Lock. Sane spears Bayley but Asuka makes the rope. The Insane Elbow connects for two as Bayley makes the save (with Asuka not noticing it despite Bayley being three feet from her). Sane hits the sliding forearm, only to have Banks reverse into the Bank Statement to make Sane tap at 18:12.

Rating: B. This was the best thing on the show, even though that isn’t saying much. They did a smart thing by having Banks get the win as it sets her up as a bigger threat to Asuka, though it was very nice to not have her beat Asuka again. I’m not sure who takes the titles off of Banks/Bayley, but they’re really gelling as a team and it’s nice to see that working so well.

Overall Rating: D+. I was dreading this show coming in and they didn’t disappoint, with one promo after another to set up a bunch of matches that aren’t interesting no matter how they’re pitched. WWE is making no secret of the fact that Extreme Rules is mainly just a filler show that they have to have because the calendar says so and that makes for some very trying television. That was the case here again and while it was better than Smackdown, that isn’t quite the bar to clear. Just get us through Sunday and on to Summerslam already, because they can’t keep doing this kind of show.

Results

Angel Garza/Andrade b. Viking Raiders – Rollup with trunks to Ivar

Ruby Riott/Bianca Belair b. IIconics – KOD to Kay

Aleister Black b. Murphy via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered

Kevin Owens b. Seth Rollins – Stunner

Randy Orton b. R-Truth – RKO

Bobby Lashley b. Ricochet – Full nelson

Bayley/Sasha Banks b. Kabuki Warriors – Bank Statement to Sane

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: July 10, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

We’re less than ten days away from Extreme Rules and the show can’t get here fast enough. The faster it gets here, the faster it’s over and that’s a good thing for everyone involved. We need more build towards the Swamp Fight, because the pay per view is going to feature a Swamp Fight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with MizTV with John Morrison serving as co-host. Morrison introduces their guest as having better face paint than 1993 Doink the Clown: Jeff Hardy. Jeff is glad to be here, but didn’t bring a clip for them to watch. Worry not though as Miz and Morrison have a clip, which is a long highlight package of Jeff’s return from his struggles and issues with Sheamus, who beat him at Backlash. Miz talks about Jeff being his daughter’s favorite wrestler but she doesn’t know the darkness underneath the bright colors.

Jeff isn’t bothered by what Sheamus has said but he is bothered by losing to Sheamus at Backlash. Miz thinks the right thing for Jeff to do is face Sheamus again, but in a setting where Jeff is more familiar. Like say, in a bar fight. That’s fine with Jeff, who is always up for a handicap match. Miz and Morrison can’t decide who Jeff should fight, so he jumps them both to start in a hurry.

Jeff Hardy vs. The Miz

Morrison is at ringside with Miz. Jeff headlocks him down to start but Miz fights up and sends him to the apron. Miz drops Jeff down onto the apron and then cannonballs onto the ribs. A kick to the face gets two but Jeff takes him down again. Morrison saves Miz from a Swanton attempt so Jeff dives onto both of them as we take a break.

Back with Jeff in trouble after Morrison helped Miz with some well placed cheating. The knee lift to the apron has Jeff in more trouble but we pause for some dancing. Jeff gets in a quick kick but can’t hit the Twist of Fate as Miz grabs a DDT instead. The YES Kicks, complete with some HEY HEY HO HO’s get two and the running crotch attack to the back of the head rocks Hardy again.

Jeff is back with a jawbreaker into the basement dropkick and splash for two. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a rollup for two and Jeff hits the slingshot dropkick in the corner. Morrison is knocked off the apron but here’s Sheamus on the Titantron to offer Hardy a pint. The distraction lets Miz grab a rollup but Hardy reverses into one of his own for the pin at 13:46.

Rating: C-. They were going back and forth well enough here but well done on having a little twist on the main event. I still don’t like the focus on Hardy’s issues but that doesn’t seem to be going away anytime soon. I’m sure Hardy signed off on the whole thing, but I’m not sure that makes it an acceptable idea given what a serious situation they’re dealing with here.

Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura don’t like the idea that it would be an upset if they win the Tag Team Titles tonight. See, they don’t sell out for the sake of merchandise and Nakamura has been sick of them for a long time now.

Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks

Non-title and Bliss/Cross jump the champs during their entrances. We settle down and start the match after a break, with Sasha taking cross into the corner. A bunch of stomping has Cross in more trouble so it’s off to Bayley, who gets tied up in the ring skirt. More forearms have Bayley in trouble so it’s back to Banks, who gets caught in a quick neckbreaker. Banks and Bayley bail to the floor and yell at commentary, allowing Cross to grab Bayley’s title for some dancing.

Bliss dropkicks them down and Cross dives onto Bayley as we take a break. Back with Bayley shouting about Steve Austin and stomping Alexa. Bliss gets choked on the ropes and sent hard into the corner, setting up the sliding lariat. Bayley clotheslines her down for two but Bliss slips away and makes the hot tag to Cross. House is cleaned, including a fisherman’s neckbreaker for two on Bayley, but Banks sends Bliss into the barricade. Cross dropkicks her through the ropes but gets rolled up with Bayley’s feet on the ropes for the pin at 12:17.

Rating: C. The ending is a little odd there, though at least points for not doing the exact same thing that they did with Banks and Asuka. I don’t buy Cross having a chance to win the title for a second but that has been the case with a lot of Bayley’s opponents over the last year. They aren’t exactly making me think that Banks and Bayley are turning on each other anytime soon, but at least we have them getting along more for an extended time.

From Money in the Bank.

Smackdown World Title: Bray Wyatt vs. Braun Strowman

Strowman is defending and it’s Bray rather than the Fiend. Braun grabs him by the throat and shoves him into the corner to start. Bray: “Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!” A clothesline puts Bray down in the corner and he agrees that Braun is strong. Strowman sends him outside again but the running charge around the ring is sent over the announcers’ table.

Bray gets back inside and laughs at him but the evil seems to be coming out. Cue Huskus the Pig to say Bray can do it, meaning it’s a DDT on the floor for Bray’s first offense. Back in and Bray’s running clothesline gets two, followed by a tornado DDT into Sister Abigail for two more. Bray looks shocked for the first time and screams a lot. Ref: “It was two!”. Bray: “I KNOW!” Another Sister Abigail is countered into a chokeslam and they’re both down.

Strowman sends him outside so the running shoulder can connect but Bray kicks him off the apron. As Bray laughs inside, Strowman comes up in the black sheep mask. Bray is thrilled because he knew this would happen as Strowman rips his shirt off. Strowman drops to his knees and poses in front of a kneeling Bray. They hug as the puppets pop up to celebrate Braun being home. Then Braun takes the mask off and steps on it, setting up the running powerslam to retain at 10:43.

Rating: D. I know the Wyatt Family was a big deal for a long time but it’s not like Strowman was that important of a part. The angle makes sense but it’s not like it’s something that is going to draw that much interest. Strowman still doesn’t feel like the next big thing or a long term champion but at least the they gave him the first title defense, which he certainly needed.

Post match Bray glares at him and the Fiend pops up.

New Day is used to being told that they’re done because everyone has said they were done for years. They’re ready for Cesaro and Nakamura and start marching in place. New Day rocks you see.

And now, karaoke! We have Lacey Evans, Dana Brooke, Naomi and Tamina getting 45 seconds each to sing their favorite WWE song. Jey Uso hosts and introduces Lacey, who starts with Jeff Jarrett’s (Uso: “Or Road Dogg’s.”) With My Baby Tonight. It goes as expected, so next up is Dana Brooke singing Honky Tonk Man’s Cool Cocky Bad.

Uso cuts her off for being so terrible, meaning it’s Tamina singing Time To Play The Game, which is actually even worse and gets cut off before they even get to the first verse. Finally we have Naomi singing Dusty Rhodes’ Common Man Boogie. Naomi wins, as she was the only one resembling competent. The celebration is on, but Lacey turns on her, saying that she won.

Lacey Evans vs. Naomi

Neither are in gear, including no shoes to be found. Lacey stomps her into the corner and drop toeholds her down before wrapping the top of her dress around Lacey’s head. The annoyed Lacey goes outside and shoves Dana down so Dana tells her to suck it up. Tamina glares at Lacey but Dana comes in to go after Lacey for the DQ at 1:50. This ends one of the biggest wastes of time I can remember in a long while.

AJ Styles brags about embarrassing Drew Gulak and Daniel Bryan last week, but finds out that he has to defend against Matt Riddle next week. AJ: “WHO DID HE EVER BEAT???” Interviewer: “Well he defeated you in his debut match.” AJ: “THAT WAS RHETORICAL!!!” Styles promises to win.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Cesaro

Nakamura and Cesaro are challenging. Kofi gets taken into the corner and dropped ribs first onto the top turnbuckle for his efforts. Cesaro comes in to kick away at the ribs but Kofi elbows Nakamura in the face. It’s Cesaro being sent into the corner for the Unicorn Stampede so he rolls outside. Kofi’s big dive is uppercut out of the air though and we take a break.

Back with Kofi knocking Nakamura down and bringing in Big E. to start the suplexing. The splash misses and Cesaro’s rollup gets two. Some alternating elbows and right hands to the jaw have Big E. in trouble in the corner, but Kofi tags himself in. A top rope double stomp/powerbomb combination gets two on Cesaro with Nakamura making the save. Everything breaks down and it’s a big brawl until the referee throws it out at 10:38.

Rating: C+. This took some time to get going (as tends to be the case before the break in WWE matches) but I was surprised that they didn’t go with the screwy finish. If nothing else, this gives them a reason to have a rematch without giving us an actual winner. The title match at Extreme Rules has been fairly obvious for a few weeks now so hopefully it winds up being good.

Post match the brawl continues and Cesaro powerbombs Kofi through Big E. through a table and pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It was a rough sit this week with the Strowman vs. Wyatt match not being something I needed to see again and the karaoke deal being the biggest bit of filler I can remember. Even with Lacey’s turn in the middle, it was far from something that had any major value. The dead period continues for WWE as we roll towards Summerslam, and I can’t imagine it gets much better until after Extreme Rules.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Miz – Rollup

Bayley/Sasha Banks b. Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross – Rollup with feet on the ropes to Cross

Lacey Evans b. Naomi via DQ when Dana Brooke interfered

New Day vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Cesaro went to a double DQ when all four brawled in the ring

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2017
Date: January 29, 2017
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 52,020
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

It’s kind of amazing how much this show has been forgotten in just about a year. Other than AJ Styles vs. John Cena, I can barely remember a single thing about this show. I know who won the Rumble and who were some of the bigger stars in the match but the rest is kind of a blur, which isn’t a good sign for what I’m in for here. Let’s get to it.

The aisle is crazy long and would require a cart to bring some of the wrestlers to the ring during the Rumble. There’s something cool about that, on both fronts actually.

Kickoff Show: Naomi/Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James/Natalya

This would be the “throw all the Smackdown women into one match” match. Oh and dang I forgot how stupid the four person announcers’ booth on Smackdown was. It’s almost as stupid as having a 50,000 person dome and having a match an hour and a half before the show starts because THE PLACE IS FREAKING EMPTY! Like is anyone going to not watch this show on the Network if there isn’t a match going on the two hour pre-show?

This is mainly about Becky vs. James/Bliss and the rest are there because….well because the writers don’t know how to write singles matches for the women and still don’t do this day. For a secondary story, Natalya and Nikki are feuding because Natalya is jealous so she said that Cena will never marry Nikki. You know those are fighting words.

Nikki and Natalya start things off with Natalya doing You Can’t See Me. That means a slap to the face and there are so few people being so quiet that you can hear what the women are saying. Bliss comes in and gets caught with a facebuster for two. It’s off to Naomi for half of a double dropkick with Nikki’s part not even coming close. Nikki and company hit a triple suplex to send them outside, followed by a dive from Naomi as we take a break.

Back with Becky clotheslining Natalya and hitting a running forearm in the corner. They head outside with Mickie getting in a cheap shot to drop Becky, allowing Natalya to snap a suplex to really take over. Back in and Becky gets driven into the corner again, allowing Bliss to choke a bit. Mickie adds a hard kick to the face as the announcers argue over whether or not cheating is smart.

A Michinoku Driver plants Becky but Natalya can’t get Suplex City (Her words. Well Lesnar’s words, though JR said it about thirteen years earlier.). Instead it’s a double clothesline so Naomi can come in and clean house. The still dumb looking dancing kicks drop Bliss as everything breaks down. A kick to the head sets up the split legged moonsault to give Naomi the pin on Bliss at 9:39.

Rating: C-. The lack of a crowd either in their seats or really interested in this one hurt it a lot but the work wasn’t terrible. The women’s division had gotten so much better by this point that you could trust them to go out and have a match like this, though the stories need to be stronger. I’m really having an issue caring about Nikki never getting to marry her dream husband and complete her fairy tale story but I’m not exactly the target audience.*

Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Team Titles: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows

Sheamus and Cesaro are defending and there are two referees due to some screwy finishes as of late. The crowd is MUCH better now, making the place look like there’s an actual audience for the show. Cesaro dropkicks Anderson at the bell for two and a gutwrench suplex gets the same less than thirty seconds in.

Gallows loads up a cheap shot from the apron but the second referee catches him, making the gimmick actually work. Sheamus grabs a Regal Roll into Cesaro’s jumping double stomp for two more but Anderson is back up with a kick to the face to take over. It’s off to Gallows, who is quickly kicked down so the champs can take him into the corner. This has been mostly one sided so far but Gallows gets in a backdrop for a breather. Not that the fans seem to care for the most part though.

A big boot knocks Sheamus off the apron and we take a break. Back (after the commercial has been cut from the Network) with Cesaro suplexing Gallows and rolling over to bring Sheamus back in. The ten forearms to the chest have Gallows in trouble and a top rope clothesline gets two. Super White Noise gets the same but Gallows shoves Sheamus away and makes the hot tag to Anderson.

The second referee won’t allow some cheating so Swiss Death gives Cesaro two. A 619 and a high crossbody give him the same but Anderson kicks him down again. Sheamus breaks up the Magic Killer and a referee eats a Brogue Kick. The second referee comes in to see Cesaro put Anderson in the Sharpshooter, only to have Gallows break it up with a kick to the face. Everything breaks down again and it’s a Magic Killer for Sheamus, followed by a rollup with tights to pin Cesaro at 10:28.

Rating: C+. Nice power fight here with both teams hitting each other rather hard. That’s all this needed to be, though I could go for adding a different style in there. Power vs. power isn’t going to work all that well in the long term but at least they had a good match here. These title changes didn’t really matter though as it was all going to change when the Hardys came back. No one knew that yet though and at least we had something good here.

Kickoff Show: Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

Nia injured her a month or so ago and tonight is about revenge. Sasha doesn’t have her knee brace on as Nia drives her into the ropes and easily shoves off a headlock. A rope walk springboard goes just as badly as Banks can’t get anything going early on. Jax runs her over and we take an early break.

Back with Sasha trying a standing Bank Statement and having it broken up with ease. Jax grabs a Brock Lock and swings Banks around until a rope can be grabbed. Sasha finally avoids a charge to send Jax into the post, followed by the top rope double knees for two. Sasha comes up holding her knee though and the pop up Samoan drop puts her away at 5:13.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash and really only served to keep Nia around. Banks is going to be fine after a loss like this while Nia still doesn’t have the big defining win (which would still be the case a year later). There was no need for this to be on pay per view though and it could have easily been done on Raw. That’s never a good sign.

And now, a nearly four hour show. I know I say this a lot but I’m almost gassed just watching that Kickoff Show. There’s really no need to do it this way, especially when you have the horrible empty stadium for the first match.

Completely standard opening video, though they do play in the cool “Remember the Rumble” tagline to show off a lot of the famous clips. If there’s one thing WWE does well, it’s look back at their own history. The rest of the matches get some time as well with each one having something to remember as well.

Raw Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending and still has never lost a singles match on pay per view. Bayley gets wrestled down to start as Charlotte grabs a front facelock. The fans seem split here despite giving Bayley a heck of a reaction on her entrance. Charlotte heads outside for no apparent reason, allowing Bayley to grab her by the hair and snap her over the middle rope (basically a Stunner) to take over. A headscissors gets two and it’s already time to hit the stalling.

Bayley makes the mistake of going outside and gets kicked into the steps as she doesn’t have much of an answer for Charlotte’s power game. Back in and Charlotte slams Bayley’s face into the mat a few times but makes sure to throw in a quick pose (that’s the Flair in her). We hit the chinlock with Charlotte’s hair falling over Bayley’s face, giving us a rather odd visual of Bayley as a blonde. A knee drop gets two on Bayley and Charlotte is getting annoyed at Bayley sticking around.

Yet another kickout off a neckbreaker makes the frustration even worse so Charlotte does her figure four necklock into the face plants on the mat. The flips to send Bayley back first into the mat make it even worse as Charlotte is completely dominant so far. Charlotte stops to mock Bayley though and a heck of a slap cuts the champ off. A battle of the chops goes to Charlotte (well duh) but Bayley bounces out of the corner with an armdrag. A springboard crossbody (with a few too many bounces) drops Charlotte again and a jumping spinning Downward Spiral (not bad) does it again.

The top rope elbow (which looked awesome on impact) gets a very close two and you can feel the crowd breathe on the kickout. Charlotte (who might be bleeding from the mouth) kicks the knee out though and the Figure Four goes on. The referee catches her grabbing the ropes though and both women are down. Charlotte is up first but her moonsault only grazes knees to give Bayley two. Bayley goes up but gets shoved off to the floor in a heap. As she gets back in, Natural Selection onto the apron retains the title at 13:01.

Rating: B-. Bayley was fighting here but came up short, which is exactly how her character needs to go. For some reason WWE didn’t quite get this and instead put the title on her two weeks later in a nothing Raw match, ignoring the idea of building her up as an underdog. Charlotte was her usual awesome self here and that makes for a fun match, though the future didn’t go the way it should have. At least the first match was solid though.

The shark cage is lowered. This might require an explanation.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Roman Reigns had come close to taking the title from Kevin Owens but Chris Jericho interfered to cost Reigns the match. Therefore it’s time for a rematch with Jericho in a one man cage (the shark cage) above the ring. Jericho is of course scared of heights so this should be fun. It would be a better idea if they hadn’t done it in NXT not too long before this.

Raw World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is defending and this is No DQ. Jericho takes his sweet time getting into the cage (as he should) and is still not in even when Reigns comes out. The Canadians try some double teaming and knock Reigns into the cage all, only to have Reigns fight them off (and the fans are really, REALLY not pleased) and send Jericho into the cage to get us going. The cage is raised like a sexy pinata (Jericho’s very accurate term for himself) and Owens jumps Reigns from behind.

They waste no time in fighting out to the floor and then into the crowd with Reigns hitting him in the ribs with a metal stand. Back to ringside with Owens being bounced off the German announcers’ table but coming back with a whip into the steps. Owens pulls six chairs from underneath the ring and sets up four at ringside, two by two. A monitor shot to the ribs sets up the Cannonball against the barricade and Owens continues to be over like free beer in a frat house.

With Reigns down, Owens sets up two more chairs on top of the four he already had. One more is placed on top but of course the powerbomb and suplex attempts don’t work to prevent a broken back. Back in and Reigns sends him shoulder first into the post before loading up a table. That’s enough to make the fans cheer Reigns (I’m as shocked as you are) but a Backstabber gives Owens two.

Another Cannonball, with Owens mocking Reigns’ spear pose, is countered into a powerbomb. The apron dropkick rocks the champ again as this has been better than I was expecting so far. They’re beating each other up quite well and it’s pretty entertaining, despite Jericho being a non-factor so far. They head outside with Reigns getting superkicked onto a table, setting up a frog splash from the top to the floor in a big crash.

That’s only good for two (well duh) so Owens dedicates a chair shot to Jericho and gets another near fall. A chair is wedged into the corner because wrestlers never learn a thing. Owens scores with a superkick and manages to send Reigns into the chair as I’m not sure what to think. It’s not like that’s never worked before but it’s about as rare as Jericho eating crab cakes and goat’s milk.

With that not working, Jericho tosses Owens some brass knuckles but Reigns blocks the Superman Punch. Roman’s Superman Punch gets two and a Samoan drop through the chair is good for the same. You would think being driven THROUGH A CHAIR would be a big time match but since this is modern wrestling, something that big is now just a regular move. It’s the price you pay for all the big spots and violence.

Roman puts another table in the corner before another Superman Punch gets two. A spear is countered into a Stunner of all things but Reigns kicks out again. We continue the Austin homage with a mudhole stomping and a Cannonball (not so much Austin) as Owens is getting frustrated. That makes him do something dumb, like trying a superplex through that pile of chairs.

Reigns breaks that up and Superman Punches Owens through the pile instead for a very loud crash. A powerbomb puts Reigns through the announcers’ table but here’s Braun Strowman to beat the heck out of Reigns. Roman is sent into the post, followed by the running powerslam through the table in the corner to retain Owens’ title at 23:27.

Rating: B+. This was better than I was expecting and while it feels like a similar ending to Randy Orton vs. John Cena from Royal Rumble 2015, it’s still a good way to keep the title on Owens for the time being. They had a very good power brawl and Owens retaining is the right move, especially with the feud with Strowman getting a big boost. Jericho was barely a factor and that’s a good thing given that they were about to split in the near future.

To really fill in time, we’re doing a countdown of the thirty greatest moments in Rumble history, starting with 30-16 (or 30-15 as Cole puts it). Well kind of as the list is actually 30 facts, which is kind of Rumble By The Numbers.

30. Bret Hart was the first entrant

29. 870 people have entered

28. 3 women have entered and each has eliminated at least one man

27. 23 people have won, meaning 98% of the entrants are losers

26. 4 Rumbles have been in Texas

25. California and Florida have held 5 Rumbles each

24. 507,102 fans have seen the Rumble

23. Rey Mysterio lasted longer than anyone ever at 1:02:12

22. Edge won the Rumble in 7:37

21. Santino Marella was eliminated in 1 second

20. The longest time in a single Rumble without winning is Bob Backlund with 1:01:10

19. HHH has spent the most time in the Rumble with 4:06:08.

18. 46 Hall of Famers have competed

17. 9 Hall of Famers have won

16. Mick Foley entered the Rumble 3 times in 1998

Raw boss Stephanie McMahon mocks Raw underling Mick for Strowman interfering when Smackdown bosses Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan come in. They roll the tumbler so Sami Zayn can come in and pick his number, which of course takes some time. Before Sami can open his ball, Dean Ambrose comes in searching for churros. He gets a number but is off to take a nap until he’s due in the Rumble. After going to a crowd shot of watching this in the arena (erg), Sami gets #8.

Austin Aries joins commentary for the Cruiserweight Title match.

We recap Rich Swann vs. Neville. Swann is the Cruiserweight Champion but Neville has declared himself the King of the Cruiserweights. That’s completely accurate and it’s time for Swann to take a heck of a beating and give up a title that doesn’t belong to him. This is about as obvious of an ending as you’re going to get. They throw in some history between the two with Neville mentoring Swann both in Japan and here in America. That’s better than nothing and more than I would expect from a match like this, even if Neville winning is pretty much guaranteed.

Cruiserweight Title: Neville vs. Rich Swann

Neville is challenging and stops himself from doing his usual entrance because the fans don’t deserve it. That’s a nice touch and makes him feel different instead of the same guy who just happens to be a villain now. Feeling out process to start until Swann flips over Neville and misses a dropkick.

Neville gets sent outside for a dive but is fine enough to drive Swann right into the corner. A missile dropkick sets up a jackknife cover for two and Neville stands on Swann’s head. Neville wants to know if this is it and gets crucifixed for two. Back up and Neville forearms the heck out of Swann for two more and we’re off to the chinlock. The comeback is enough to have Neville take him outside for some whips into the barricade.

Back in and Neville comes up the top, diving straight into a superkick to the jaw. That one looked awesome and both guys are down. Another kick to the jaw and a super hurricanrana sets up a Phoenix flip dive to the floor to put Neville in trouble. They head back inside with Swann hammering away before getting two off something like a Warrior splash.

Neville isn’t down enough that he can’t crotch Swann on top. He also can’t hit the superplex but settles for a hard superkick to stagger the champ. Rich’s spinning kick to the head gets two as Neville gets his foot on the ropes. Swann again takes too long to get up top, allowing Neville to superplex him into the Rings of Saturn for the tap to make Neville champion at 13:29.

Rating: B-. They were beating the heck out of each other in a better than average match. Instead of having Neville squash him in relatively short order, Swann got in some offense, only to eventually not be good enough to overcome the King of the Cruiserweights. This was entertaining, but Neville is going to need some better challengers.

We recap AJ Styles vs. John Cena. Styles defeated Cena twice in a row last year, including with one clean pinfall. Then Cena said he wanted to challenge the champion at the Rumble and since he’s John Cena and one title shy of tying Ric Flair’s record, the match was made.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging and has the black shorts on here so you know it’s a big night. AJ scores with a kick to the leg so Cena clotheslines him to the apron. Cena gets in a few right hands but charges into a boot in the corner to let AJ take over. Back to back knee drops have Cena in trouble but AJ stops to yell at the crowd. A third knee, this time with a You Can’t See Me, misses and Cena is right back with a backdrop.

AJ sticks the landing on an AA though and there’s an enziguri to put Cena down again. There’s a hurricanrana and Cena doesn’t seem to know what to do with Styles. The running seated forearm gives AJ two more but Cena punches him in the face. The Shuffle is broken up though and AJ grabs a wheelbarrow facebuster to put Cena down again. AJ hits the Phenomenal Blitz, only to have Cena hit that hard running clothesline for a breather that he uses when he needs a breather.

Now the Shuffle connects but it’s way too early for the AA. AJ grabs a torture rack into a spinning powerbomb for two more and we get a bit of a pause. They’re doing a good job here of going with the slower pace to build things up here, which is exactly what they should be doing.

The Phenomenal Forearm misses and it’s an AA for two. Another hard running clothesline gives Cena two more but he charges into a Pele to the shoulder. Now the Forearm connects for two more as they’re even in the near falls off the finishers. AJ starts firing off the hard kicks to the chest and Cena doesn’t seem like he’s breathing very well. One too many kicks earns him an electric chair into a faceplant though and Cena is right back into it.

They slug it out with JBL describing AJ as blocking every punch with his face. Apparently that’s fine enough to reverse a right hand into the Calf Crusher but of course Cena reverses into the STF to a nice round of applause. At least they respect some wrestling abilities. Somehow AJ reverses that into an STF of his own but Cena powers to his feet. Instead of an AA though, it’s off to a Figure Four on the champ (because we must praise Flair, though it’s appropriate here).

AJ pulls himself up though and tries a cross armbreaker, which of course is countered into a powerbomb for two. Cena goes up top for the Fameasser but gets powerbombed out of the air. Now the Styles Clash is good for two as the fans are feeling the near falls (as they should with the match picking WAY up in a hurry). Code Red gives Cena two more, followed by AJ’s fireman’s carry backbreaker for the same.

Something like a swinging Big Ending (called a cutter by Mauro) gives Cena two more so it’s time for the big guns. Cena busts out the super AA…….for two. You can see the look of disbelief on Cena’s face and now the fans aren’t sure what to think. The Styles Clash gives AJ his own near fall but Cena counters the Phenomenal Forearm into back to back AA’s for the pin and the title at 24:01.

Rating: A. This took its time to build up and it’s one of the best matches of 2017. Cena using raw power to start but eventually learning what AJ was going to throw at him and adapting made for a great story. He couldn’t win with the mega power move either, eventually having to counter AJ to beat him. That builds on their previous matches and it’s a classic match as a result.

Cena celebrates. JBL: “Man that was good!” Yeah pretty much. Cena heads into the crowd and hands the title to a Make-A-Wish kid because he’s that awesome.

We look at Seth Rollins invading Takeover: San Antonio to call out HHH, who cost him his spot in the Rumble. HHH said Rollins needs to be careful what he wished for. Worry not though as STEPHANIE will be on Raw tomorrow night to deal with Rollins. I’d be terrified too.

Jerry Lawler comes out for commentary on the Rumble.

Back to the Rumble by the Numbers.

15. Only 16 of the 30 possible numbers have won

14. 7 winners are from 1-10

13. 4 have been from 11-20

12. 19 have been from 21-40

11. 27 is the lucky number

10. 1 and 2 have produced 4 winners

9. 1 and 2 have been the final two entrants twice (1995 and 1999)

8. Only one person has won from the same number twice (Batista at #28)

7. Kane has entered the most Royal Rumbles

6. Kane has the most career eliminations

5. Roman Reigns has the most eliminations in one match

4. The World Title has been on the line twice

3. Three men have been runner up twice (Cena, Big Show, HHH)

2. Five men have won twice (Cena, HHH, Hogan, Shawn Michaels, Batista)

1. Only Steve Austin has won three Rumbles

Royal Rumble

Two minutes intervals and it’s Big Cass in at #1, meaning Enzo Amore gets to do the full entrance. We’re just that lucky I guess but the fans are still eating it up at this point. Since everything is bigger in Texas, it would make sense for Big Cass to win here tonight. We hear about some of the bigger names but Cass is going to toss all of them out because Cass is like HBK in 1995. Chris Jericho is in at #2 as his bad luck in the Rumble draws continue (this is his third time as #2).

Cass tosses him down with a fall away slam but an early Empire Elbow misses. The Walls are broken up and it’s Kalisto in at #3 after only ninety seconds. A springboard dropkick staggers Cass and a regular one drops Jericho. Cass can’t powerslam Kalisto and it’s some kicks to cut Cass down again. Mojo Rawley is in at #4 as we’re not even three minutes and fifteen seconds in yet. Corey: “Smackdown Live’s resident blithering idiot.” Lawler: “That’s an insult to blithering idiots”.

Cass takes Rawley into the corner while the other two are down on the apron. Jericho breaks four hours in the Rumble to give him the all time record as Jack Gallagher is in at #5. The length of the aisle really becomes an issue here as Jack takes forever to get to the ring. Once there though he cleans house with the umbrella, including a low blow to a posing Jericho. One heck of a toss sends Kalisto to the mat and it’s Mark Henry in at #6.

Everyone is down when his music hits but Gallagher has enough time to get up and stomp on Jericho by the time he gets there. Gallagher’s headbutt just annoys Mark so he tosses Jack through the ropes (not an elimination). Jack does his Mary Poppins dive with the umbrella and is promptly eliminated. Braun Strowman is in at #7, taking twenty five seconds from the start of his music to get to the ring. Jericho hides on the floor (Jericho: “HE’S HUGE!”) as Strowman gets rid of Mojo, Cass, Kalisto and Henry, the latter after a battle of the giants.

Sami Zayn is in at #8 and is stupid enough to charge into the ring and slug away as fast as he can. Sami stops a charge with a boot but tries a suplex for some reason. Strowman misses a charge into the post but comes right back with a running splash in the corner as Big Show is #9 (to a VERY strong reaction, oddly enough).

We get the big, long walk to the ring where Sami is down in the corner and Jericho is still on the floor. Strowman clotheslines Show down without much effort but a chokeslam cuts him down. Jericho picks now to come back in and is promptly punched down, leaving the giants to lift each other up for failed slam attempts. Strowman manages to muscle Show out though and is the only one standing. The debuting Tye Dillinger is #10 (in the perfect (ten) entrance), giving us Jericho, Strowman, Zayn and Dillinger. Tye goes straight at Strowman with forearms and left hands as Sami gets up to help him slug away at the giant.

They get suplexed down without much effort though and it’s James Ellsworth in at #11. He and Carmella run to the ring (in a relationship that was never explained) but don’t get in, allowing Tye and Sami to pull Strowman to the apron. Dean Ambrose is in at #12 and tricks Ellsworth into charging in on his own where Strowman eliminates him in all of ten seconds. That’s better than I was expecting. Dean gets in but can’t do much with Strowman (well duh) but Tye and Sami get back up to help Dean out. That earns them all running clotheslines in the corner and it’s Baron Corbin in at #13.

That means four on one on Strowman, who shrugs them all away. Strowman dumps Tye but Sami grabs him by the beard for a breather. A Helluva Kick rocks Strowman and Corbin gets rid of the monster after a star making performance. Dean hits a quick Dirty Deeds on Corbin but doesn’t try to eliminate him. Dean never was the smartest guy in the world.

Kofi Kingston is in at #14 and the countdown is on to the cool save. Kofi gets knocked into the ropes and Corbin does his slide underneath the ropes into a clothesline on Dean. The Miz is in at #15 (thankfully with Maryse), giving us Jericho (STILL on the floor), Sami, Ambrose, Corbin and Miz at the moment.

A Skull Crushing Finale drops Dean but Miz doesn’t go for the elimination. Deep Six cuts Miz off as the crowd oddly dies for a bit. For no logical reason, Kofi climbs to the top of the post but gets knocked down onto his chest. He still manages to hang on though and scores with Trouble in Paradise on Corbin. Sheamus is in at #16 and it’s time for some powerslams. Miz backs away from Sheamus but gets caught in the ten forearms to the chest. Jericho gets back up and is promptly Brogue Kicked down.

Big E. is in at #17 and it’s a quick abdominal stretch on Miz, allowing for some spanking. If that’s what he’s into I guess. The ring is getting too full and Rusev (with a broken nose) makes it even worse at #18. Right hands have Dean in trouble but no one is seriously close to being eliminated.

Sheamus gets in a hard knee on Miz and it’s Cesaro in at #19. It’s an early Swing to Miz and a second to Sami. Jerry: “Use him as a weapon!” Ambrose and Kofi are swung as well, followed by Big E. and Corbin but Rusev saves Sheamus from the same fate for some reason. You might notice a lot of names being swung and that’s because there are WAY too many people in the ring.

Xavier Woods is in at #20, giving us Jericho, Zayn, Ambrose, Corbin, Kingston, Miz, Sheamus, Big E. Rusev, Cesaro and Woods. We’re two thirds of the way into the match and over half of the people are still in. New Day beats Sheamus up and Woods has to save Kofi from an elimination at Miz’s hands. A pair of boots rock Miz but he’s not going anywhere yet. Bray Wyatt, with the lights going out, is in at #21 and the Fireflies coming out during the match is a cool visual.

Miz gets the release Rock Bottom and house is cleaned until Woods stares Wyatt down in a call back to Woods being terrified of Bray. Woods is sent to the apron and Kofi is put there next to him. Big E. saves his buddies from Cesaro and Sheamus as Apollo Crews is in at #22. Crews’ standing moonsault hits Miz as this is looking like a regular battle royal rather than the Rumble. Big E. pulls Woods and Kofi back inside but Sheamus and Cesaro get rid of all three of them at once to let the ring breathe a bit. Sheamus tries to dump Cesaro but Jericho runs in to get rid of both of them. Well the ring is certainly emptier in a hurry.

Randy Orton (of the Wyatt Family because reasons) is in at #23 with a quick RKO to Corbin and Rusev. Sami goes up top for some reason and dives right into another RKO. Dolph Ziggler is in at #24 and superkicks abound. The fans are begging for Goldberg to come in and get rid of some of these people but have to settle for Luke Harper at #25. We have five spots left and Goldberg, Undertaker and Brock Lesnar still to go. Harper gets rid of Crews but stops for a staredown with Orton. Wyatt has to play peacekeeper until Harper clotheslines Bray down. Orton breaks up Sister Abigail on Bray with an RKO as the ring is too full again.

Brock Lesnar is in at #26 and now we can get rid of some people. Ziggler and Ambrose are tossed with ease and it’s Suplex/F5 City. Everyone is down and the fans want Goldberg at #27. Instead it’s Enzo Amore in at #27 and I’ll let you figure out what happens. Graves: “THIS MAY BE THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!!!” Brock throws some suplexes until Goldberg is in at #28 for the big showdown. A spear and a clothesline get rid of Lesnar in all of fifteen seconds, stunning both the crowd and commentary at once. Sami eats a Jackhammer and Orton/Wyatt take a double spear.

Goldberg is the only man standing and it’s Undertaker in at #29 to a ROAR. Thankfully he appears in the ring instead of doing the ridiculously long walk down the ramp. Cole: “THIS IS A MOMENT!” Well those are what matter more than anything else. Corbin and Rusev break up the showdown and are promptly eliminated. A spear takes Undertaker down but Goldberg turns his attention to eliminate Harper, allowing Undertaker to dump him. Undertaker chokeslams a few people and it’s Roman Reigns at #30 (imagine the booing) to give us Jericho, Sami, Miz, Wyatt, Orton, Undertaker and Reigns.

That means another staredown and Reigns wins the slugout. The fans are LIVID and call this BS until Undertaker stops the Superman Punch with a chokeslam. Undertaker dumps Miz and Zayn like they’re nothing but takes too long calling for a Tombstone, allowing Reigns to dump him. That earns Reigns a glare to set up the Wrestlemania main event.

Jericho is dead so Reigns tosses him without much effort, giving Jericho the most meaningless hour run in Rumble history. Reigns is left alone with Orton and Wyatt with the double teaming starting in short order. The hanging DDT plants Reigns but Superman Punches get Roman out of trouble. Wyatt is eliminated but it’s an RKO and a clothesline to send Orton to Wrestlemania at 1:02:08.

Rating: D. And that’s being pretty generous. There are tons of problems here, but we’ll start with all the midcarders who were around forever and did nothing. Here are some of the people who weren’t going to win but were in the match for at least twenty minutes each:

Sami Zayn (47:12)

Dean Ambrose (26:55)

Baron Corbin (32:39)

Miz (32:44)

Rusev (22:31)

Those five names combined for one elimination. That’s a crazy amount of time to basically do nothing. If they’re not going to be factors (and none of them were as they were almost all glorified cannon fodder), don’t leave them out there go clog up the ring. It doesn’t do Sami any good to be out there for forty five minutes and do nothing, just like it doesn’t help Miz to be there for half an hour so people can beat on him. Jericho was a potential winner and stayed in there over an hour (spending a lot of it on the floor) but what good is an hour stay if he’s tossed out like he’s nothing after a mere two eliminations?

That brings us to the second problem: the three big names. This match was built around Goldberg, Brock Lesnar and Undertaker (the three of them and Cena are dead center on the post) and they combined to get rid of TEN people (over a third of the eliminations) despite being in the match for less time combined than any of the five names mentioned above. None of them made the final four but they cleared the way for the grouping. That’s some really bad planning and a lack of drama, especially when it makes everyone left look life afterthoughts. Let one of them be there as a dragon for the winner to slay at the very least.

Throw in a lack of meaningful surprises (Reigns was the only name of value not announced in advance) and no nostalgia to be seen (but we needed Apollo Crews and Dolph Ziggler to combine for ten minutes in the ring and not get rid of anyone) and there was very little to care about for the biggest part of the Rumble. Strowman stuff was fun, but after him there was a FIFTEEN MINUTE stretch with no eliminations. This was a terribly planned out Rumble and managed to turn one of the most entertaining matches of the year into something incredibly boring.

Overall Rating: C+. It says a lot when the Royal Rumble is the only bad thing on the show. Other than that, the worst match is…..I guess the women’s match? This show was rather awesome but the Rumble itself was such a mess that it brings the rest of the show way down. This was a good show that cold have been great and I have no idea how they thought that was the right idea with the Rumble. That should usually be the most important thing on the show but it felt like something they threw together here, which really misses the point. Fix the Rumble and it’s a classic. As it is, it’s just good.

Ratings Comparison

Naomi/Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James/Natalya

Original: C

Redo: C-

Sheamus and Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Bayley vs. Charlotte Flair

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns

Original: B

Redo: B+

Rich Swann vs. Neville

Original: C+

Redo: B-

John Cena vs. AJ Styles

Original: A-

Redo: A

Royal Rumble

Original: C+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: C+

That Rumble rating is ridiculous. Most of the rest of the matches are in the same ballpark though and that’s a good thing.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/29/royal-rumble-2017-i-can-go-with-that/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6