Impact Wrestling
Date: September 14, 2023
Location: Westchester Count Center, White Plains, New York
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

It’s time for s special show as this is the 1000^th episode. There have been all kinds of special guest stars announced and that we should be in for a lot of nostalgic fun. What matters here is having a great time while celebrating Impact’s long history. There have been some amazing moments throughout Impact’s history and looking back at them could be a blast. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a rather cool and rather in-depth history of the show, which really does give me some flashbacks. I’ve been watching this show for a long time now and while it has had its bad moments, there have been some classic moments. The problems around here weren’t often because of the wrestlers and they deserve the credit for helping get them this far.

Opening sequence, with a mixture of old and new clips.

Here is Scott D’Amore to welcome us to the show and talk about how he kicked off the very first episode of this show. The next two weeks are going to be a celebration of Impact’s history and present. We’re starting with the Knockouts, including Gail Kim, who comes out for a chat. Kim thanks the fans for getting them this far and for making so many changes to the industry.

We get a video on the Knockouts throughout the years and yes, they were influential on the Women’s Revolution and where we are now.

Cue the Beautiful People (Velvet Sky/Angelina Love) for a special reunion. Love isn’t impressed by the video, because that video didn’t have enough of the Beautiful People. There were a lot of ugly people included, like the one in front of her right now. Velvet: “That’s you Gail!” Everything that wasn’t the Beautiful People looked like the before and after pictures from a dermatologist’s office, but just the befores!

Cue Gisele Shaw and company to welcome the Beautiful People back. She’s honored to have taken their spot and improved on it, which has Sky and Love cracking up. Shaw spells and defines the word improved so Love asks who is worth anything from this generation. Cue Jordynne Grace to put over both generations, but saying that the one constant through the years has been the “annoying, vapid b******.”

Cue Deonna Purrazzo to interrupt, with Grace assuming Purrazzo “is here to represent the annoying b******.” Purrazzo says she’s here to represent her generation but here is Trinity to interrupt. She’s here to represent the current generation and is on top right now. Purrazzo: “You can come talk to me when you’ve had three.” Gail Kim: “And you can come talk to me when you’ve had seven.” After that mic drop moment, here is Awesome Kong (everyone stops) with Raesha Saed as we take a break.

Back with a WELCOME BACK chant and Saed demanding silence from the fans. If anyone wants to fight, they can come after Kong, with everyone pointing at the others to say they’re first. Cue the returning Tasha Steelz to say you have to talk about her generation as well, which is why she’s going to be on Team Beautiful People (as apparently there is a Team Beautiful People).

She wants to face Kong next week in the ten Knockouts tag but here is Mickie James to interrupt. Mickie (with the country accent rolling) says she beat the one who beat the greatest, because she herself is the greatest. Hardcore Country is back and she’s the fifth member of Team Trinity, along with Grace, Kim and Kong. She’s ready for next week and the greatest fight in Knockouts history. Outside of Tara and OBD (maybe a few others like Madison Rayne), this was a who’s who of the Knockouts and they deserve a lot of praise, even if we’re now thirty minutes into the show.

America’s Most Wanted is in the back with Eric Young when Santino Marella comes in. We cut over to Shark Boy, who arrives after the breaking of a beer bottle. Shark Boy likes order, so Santino makes him a deputy Director Of Authority (and draws the sign of the Cross over him).

Feast Or Fired

Joe Hendry, Yuya Uemura, Johnny Swinger, Moose, Brian Myers, Kevin Knight, Kushida, PCO, Black Taurus, Chris Bey, Crazzy Steve, Alpha Bravo, Bhupinder Gujjar, Heath, Jai Vidal, John Skyler, Jonathan Gresham, Laredo Kid, Sami Callihan, Steve Maclin

There are four briefcases above the ring. Three contain title shots (World, Tag Team, Digital Media) and one contains a pink slip. PCO is the last entrant and hits a big flip dive onto a bunch of people as we get started fast. It’s a big brawl to start with people climbing and being pulled back down. Kid plants Knight and Taurus does the same to Kushida but then Kid turns on Taurus.

That’s not enough for Kid to pull down a case so Skyler tries instead. That’s broken up by Bey, who pulls down a case and, after diving onto a bunch of people and getting to the floor, he’s officially safe and gets to leave. We take a break and come back with Crazzy Steve getting a case and Moose walking away rather than dealing with a fork. With everyone else on the floor, Moose goes after a briefcase but Maclin breaks it up. Maclin lays Moose out but it’s time for a parade of strikes to the face.

Bravo has to beg Callihan not to massacre him before Knight and Kushida clear the ring. PC comes back in but heads to the floor, leaving Hendry and Uemura to beat up Kid. Uemura gets a case but throws it to Hendry, who tosses it back to Uemura, who gets to the floor. There’s one case left so PCO starts hurting people, only to have Vidal….I think flirt with him?

PCO chokeslams him but Callihan breaks up the climb. Taurus and Kushida take turns breaking things up before Heath and Maclin climb at the same time. Maclin gets the case, drops Heath and Callihan, but still can’t get to the floor. Everyone surrounds him but the returning Rhino runs in with a Gore, sending the case flying….into Moose’s hands on the floor to end the match at 13:36.

Rating: B-. I have no idea how to call this as it’s really not much in the way of a match. You have people slowly being eliminated and then when the fourth case is won, it just stops. It’s kind of like a ladder match but with staggered endings, but the real drama is in the reveals. Odds are they take place later, but the Rhino return at the end was a nice moment.

Chris Sabin is ready to win the X-Division Title back.

Here is the Desi Hit Squad to brag about their success. They want to know one team who has done more than them so here we go.

Team 3D vs. Desi Hit Squad

Ray cranks on Singh’s arm to start and it’s off to D-Von for an ax handle to said arm. A double clothesline takes the Squad down and it’s the belly to back neckbreaker to Singh. It’s too early for the 3D though and Singh slams Ray off the top. Raju hammers on Ray, who spears his way out of trouble. D-Von comes in to clean house and it’s What’s Up to Raju. It’s time to get the tables (appropriate for once) and the 3D to Singh (not through the table) finishes at 5:54.

Rating: C+. All things considered, this was a fine match and the nostalgia was strong with this one. D-Von was looking pretty awesome given how long he has been out of the ring and it’s great to see one of the best teams ever getting one last match. I know they’re more famous for their time in WWE/ECW, but Team 3D had a heck of a run in Impact and it’s more than an acceptable place for them to have this kind of a moment.

Post match Raju goes through the table, as someone had to.

The Rascalz annoy Josh Alexander by making a mess in the hallway. Violence is teased but the Rascalz back off.

Here is Josh Alexander for a chat. Alexander talks about how amazing it is for him to be in this company after 21 years of it going strong. He has been a fan for such a long time and he’s proud to say so. As for himself though, he never lost the World Title and it’s time to remedy that.

Cue World Champion Alex Shelley to say that’s enough. Shelley is tired of hearing about what Alexander used to be because Shelley is the World Champion. Alexander can thank him for having a place to get paid and send his kids to private schools and drive a great truck. Alexander is cool with thanking a legend like Shelley, who absolutely paved the way for people like him.

Shelley says Alexander is a mark for him but Alexander thinks he deserves a thank you of his own. It was Alexander who carried the ball for four years so Shelley could have a place to come back to. Yes Shelley has had a bunch of great defenses, but what about the World Title match he didn’t win?

Shelley says he’s the main character and Alexander is just a side quest. They both want the match so Alexander wants to do it right now. Cue the Rascalz to jump both of them (Shelley hadn’t said no to right now) but Alexander and Shelley fight back. The Rascalz jump them again….and this time Shelley walks off, leaving Alexander to get beaten down. That’s an interesting way to go and I think we have Bound For Glory.

Post break the Rascalz are rather pleased but Shark Boy comes in to make Trey Miguel vs. Josh Alexander next week. Santino Marella comes in to praise Shark Boy but Kenny King and Sheldon Jean come in to yell at Marella. King wants his Digital Media Title back, though Santino would rather see him face Eric Young next week instead.

Eddie Edwards/Alisha Edwards vs. Frankie Kazarian/Traci Brooks

The women waste no time in starting the brawl and all four are on the floor rather quickly. Back in and an Alisha cheap shot lets Eddie plant Kazarian as we take a break. We come back with Alisha slapping Kazarian, who gets cut off by Eddie rather quickly. Kazarian finally flips over Eddie and hits a Backstabber but it’s still not enough to bring Traci back in. Instead Eddie elbows him in the face and the long form beating continues.

Alisha’s middle rope crossbody hits Eddie by mistake but he manages to stay standing. Kazarian suplexes Alisha and rolls Eddie up at the same time, allowing Traci to come back in for a spear. An X Factor into a running knee sends Eddie outside, leaving Traci to hit Fade To Black for the pin on Alisha for the pin at 12:39.

Rating: C+. Traci’s return was the big deal here and for someone who was wrestling her first match in eleven years, she did just fine. This should be enough to wrap up the feud and it plays into the idea of the big milestone show. Frankie did most of the work here and there is nothing wrong with that, especially given the situation.

Post match Frankie has a surprise: Traci Brooks is going into the Hall Of Fame. Back in the ring, Traci is in tears as her son gets to celebrate with her and Frankie. That’s an awesome moment.

Lio Rush knows Chris Sabin is shook before their title match.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

We look at Tommy Dreamer winning the Digital Media Title at Victory Road, with a special assist from Heath.

Dreamer talks about what winning the title and promises to make it be about happy moments.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Lio Rush

Sabin is challenging and we’re getting a commercial free overrun (fair enough on a special show like this). Rush has to chase him outside to start before Rush starts dodging back inside. A running kick to the face sends Sabin outside and Rush scores with a suicide dive (ala what he did before the match at Slammiversary). Back in and the Final Hour is broken up but Cradle Shock is blocked as well.

Sabin dropkicks the leg out and pulls him into a surfboard, with Rush giving us a heck of an agonized/annoyed face. Rush escapes and hammers away (pay no attention to the punches not making contact) before grabbing a choke. With that broken up, Rush hits a belly to back suplex for two and the frustration continues. Sabin gets an elbow up in the corner and hits a missile dropkick for the double knockdown.

The Cradle Shock is broken up with a rake to the eyes and Sabin bails to the floor, setting up a bottom rope Asai moonsault. A suplex on the ramp rocks Sabin again and Rush hits a spinning kick to the head for two back inside. Sabin runs the corner for a superplex to break up the Final Hour and they’re both down again. A powerbomb gets the same on Rush and Sabin pulls him into an STF.

Rush slips out and hits a fisherman’s buster for two but Sabin hits a heck of a clothesline. Cradle Shock gets two and yeah that deserves a shocked kickout face. Sabin loads up a super Cradle Shock but Rush rakes the eyes to knock him down. The Final Hour gets two and now it’s Rush’s turn to be shocked. Rush is furious as well but Sabin takes him down for some right hands. A superkick and Shell Shock sets up the Cradle Shock to give Sabin the pin and the title back at 16:02.

Rating: B. It’s a nice way to wrap up a special show and the good thing here is that Sabin winning the title isn’t some out of nowhere change. Sabin is a regular star around here and he has to be the most successful X-Division wrestler ever. This was a special balance between the nostalgia and the modern stuff, which happened to come after a pretty awesome match.

A bunch of wrestlers come out to celebrate with Sabin to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This was in no way a show about the wrestling, as instead this was ALL about the nostalgia and having fun while looking back at the company’s history. It’s rare for any show to make it this far and that made things all the more special. I had a great time with this show and that is exactly what this should have been. Heck of a show here and I’m really looking forward to part two next week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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I was asked to look at the career of Velvet Sky and why she got over as well as she did in TNA.  Sure why not.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/sun-sets-velvet-sky/

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 12, 2016
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s the second week of Impact on Tuesday nights and Ethan Carter III is the World Champion again. That means it’s time to find a new opponent for him after Matt Hardy was completely dispatched last week in his third loss to Carter in a row. Other than that it’s hard to say what to expect here, though we are getting Drew Galloway vs. Kurt Angle in a dream match. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s tournament matches, leading to Carter getting the title back.

Quick video on Angle vs. Galloway.

Opening sequence.

Tyrus tells Ethan that it’s time.

Here are Ethan and Tyrus in the ring with something to say. Ethan talks about how this is more proof of how great he is. He thanks Tyrus for letting him fight on his own last week but Tyrus says he didn’t doubt Ethan for a minute. That’s enough from Tyrus as Ethan takes the mic away from him, which doesn’t sit well with Tyrus. Ethan keeps going about how great he is until Jeff Hardy comes out in wrestling gear. Of course it’s a Hardy because this show is another playground for them.

Jeff thanks Ethan for his effort last week but Ethan says he’s done with both Jeff and Matt. No Ethan, no you’re not, because you can never be done with the Hardys around here. Jeff says Matt can speak for himself and hands Ethan a document. It’s a note from Jeff’s doctor, saying that he’s cleared to wrestle.

That’s fine with Ethan but he doesn’t think Jeff deserves a shot that quick. Ethan thinks we need an opponent from the back right now. Here’s a masked man, with Ethan making sure to play some music for him. The man is named Shynron (a high flier, probably best known in Chikara) and he promises to take care of Hardy right now.

Jeff Hardy vs. Shynron

Ethan sits in on commentary as Shynron grabs a wristlock. Jeff dropkicks the masked man in the back to put him on the floor but something like a 619 over the apron takes Jeff down again. Back in and the Twist of Fate is broken up but a Tajiri handspring into a moonsault results in a crash. Jeff throws him up for a powerbomb but drops back for a crash. The Twist of Fate puts Shynron away at 2:23.

The Dollhouse says they’re ready for Gail Kim and Kong promises to come for the title soon. The Beautiful People come in and promises to take down the Dollhouse tonight. A brawl breaks out.

Dollhouse vs. Beautiful People

It’s Kong/Jade vs. Rayne/Sky. This is joined in progress after a break and is officially a street fight. The Dollhouse is in control until Velvet suplexes Jade on the stage. Back inside, Kong is running over Madison like she’s not even there. We get some choking on the ropes as Jade starts bringing in some weapons. Jade misses a Cannonball in the corner and hits a chair by mistake but she’s still able to hit Madison in the back with a trashcan lid while Kong chokes her in midair.

Velvet gets back in and kicks a chair into Kong’s face but Rebel and Marti Bell realize they can get involved. That earns them a double beating with kendo sticks and Kong gets one to match. Not that it matters as Jade comes back with a package piledriver to put Madison away at 6:10.

Rating: D+. My goodness I’m sick of TNA just shuffling the same people into slightly different stories against the same opponents over and over again. This was watchable enough but there was no way Kong or here team were losing after she became #1 contender this past Friday. The match was fine enough but I’m tired of these same names over and over again.

Speaking of the same people being used in the same roles (albeit a bit better this time), here’s Beer Money for a reunion celebration. James talks about how much fun they love to have and how he’s back to make a living for his family, but also to have fun. Roode says the thing that split them up in the first place is the reason they’re back together. One of them is from the country and one is from the city and they’re both sorry for what they did.

Storm is sorry for all the times he kicked Roode in the face and all those bar tabs he left Bobby to pay. Roode is sorry that he broke a beer bottle over Storm’s head, which causes Storm to pour Roode’s beer into a plastic cup. Bobby cuts it off and toasts the fans but says something is missing. There’s not enough fighting going on here so here are Eric Young and Bram to interrupt. Young rants about wanting to hurt Roode even more and says he likes the way Bram thinks. Eric wants the King of the Mountain Title back so Roode says let’s do it right here and right now.

King of the Mountain Title: Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young

Roode is defending and takes Young down with an armbar to start. There’s a big stain from all of the beer before the break. Young quickly takes him down and grabs a chinlock which only lasts a few seconds. A belly to back suplex keeps the champ down but he blocks a middle rope…..something by raising a boot. A t-bone suplex sends Young flying, only to have him grab a belly to belly for two.

Roode slaps on a Sharpshooter (he’s Canadian you know), which he quickly drops down into a Crossface. A spinebuster gets two for the champ but Bram pulls the referee out. Storm spits beer in Bram’s eyes and the Englishman is taken down with a double suplex. The distraction lets Eric kick Roode low and piledrive him for the pin and the title at 7:42.

Rating: C-. Here’s ANOTHER feud that they did last year and are still going with it because they don’t have anything new to work with. Instead of Roode vs. Young, you could just as easily do Bram vs. Roode for something fresh, but instead we need to do the feud with the lame history that no one cares about. Yeah they were teammates together twelve years ago. What does it say that neither of them seem to have moved on in the last year?

Mr. Anderson is ready for his new talk show, entitled “Huh?”.

Ethan and Tyrus run into Michael Bennett and Maria in the back. The newcomers congratulate him on the title win but aren’t pleased when Ethan seems to blow them off. Bennett thinks the title looks good on Ethan’s shoulders, for now.

We look back at the Bound For Glory main event and the fallout that lead to the tournament, including Ethan getting the title back.

It’s time for the debut of Anderson’s talk show, complete with cheesy piano music. The first guests are Matt Hardy and his family, minus Jeff that is. For some reason Matt isn’t allowed to sit on the couch next to his wife and son because he gets to sit in a folding chair. Anderson gets right to the point by saying Matt choked last week.

Of course this doesn’t sit well with Matt as he brings up winning at Bound For Glory. He thought he had Ethan last week but Anderson calls him out for making excuses. We move on to Jeff, who Anderson thinks is doing Matt’s dirty work for him. Matt gets to the point: he wants one more match with Ethan and promises to win the title. That’s it for the Hardys with Reby giving a glare back to Anderson as they leave. So we sat through another segment to set up match #4 between Matt and Ethan. As in ANOTHER idea we’ve covered before.

Drew Galloway is in the crowd for storytime. Drew makes a guarantee to all of the fans here and at home: tonight will be an absolute spectacle in celebration of one of the best of all time.

Young and Bram celebrate their win and promise to get rid of Beer Money again.

Wolves/Tigre Uno vs. Jesse Godderz/Eli Drake/DJZ

Tigre and DJZ get things going with Uno grabbing a wristlock. Jesse and Eli are too busy to tag in as Pope complains about all of the confetti from Tigre’s entrance. The Wolves start double teaming Eli and throw Tigre into him to make it even worse. We settle down to Eddie vs. Jesse with Godderz taking over off a nice dropkick.

Off to Drake for a nice powerslam but Eddie hurricanranas both of them down and makes the hot tag to Davey. Everything breaks down Jesse clotheslines DJZ by mistake. The powerbomb into a backstabber is broken up and Jesse puts Eddie in the Adonis Lock, only to have DJZ break it up as payback on Godderz. Davey kicks Jesse in the head, setting up a brainbuster for the pin at 6:44.

Rating: C. This was the first really original thing all night (assuming you don’t count the Wolves fighting Jesse/Eli on Friday) and the match was also the least annoying thing to sit through so far. I’m assuming this turns DJZ face, which makes me wonder who in the world is left to challenge Tigre for the title. I’m sure TNA has a plan for that totally important title though right?

Jeff tells Matt to go for the title again.

Here’s Ethan (again) to ask Matt what he’s got to offer. This brings out Matt (again), who talks about Ethan getting his spot because of his last name. Matt knows he can’t offer any materialistic possessions, so he’s willing to put his career on the line. Ethan agrees, as long as it can be last man standing. The deal is made.

Drew Galloway vs. Kurt Angle

Feeling out process to start until Kurt suddenly throws it into high gear with an overhead belly to belly. We’re in an early chinlock for a bit before a double clothesline takes us to a break. Back with Drew hammering away in the corner, only to miss the Claymore and walk into the rolling German suplexes.

The Angle slam gets two so it’s off to the ankle. It’s only the first ankle lock though so Drew is quickly out and hitting the Futureshock for two. Off to another ankle lock but Drew rolls him out to the floor. Another suplex gets another two but the Claymore connects out of nowhere for Drew’s second near fall. There’s another Claymore for another two because main events mean you trade finishers for ten minutes.

Drew takes him to the top but gets punched into the Tree of Woe, only to have Drew sit up into a superplex. Galloway wins a quick slugout but misses a charge into the post, setting up the second Angle slam for two. With nothing else working, Kurt takes him to the top for the super Angle slam and the pin at 15:10.

Rating: B. It was good but I see little reason why Angle needs to win most of the matches on his retirement tour, which really seems to be where we’re going with this thing. If Drew is supposed to be the future (which he isn’t as he needs to gain another ten years or so), then maybe you shouldn’t have him lose here. I get why they did, but it’s not the smartest idea in the world.

Overall Rating: D. I really don’t remember the last time an episode of Impact got on my nerves this badly. We sat through three months of taped shows to get us to the “live” debut on Pop, all of which was time that TNA could come up with something fresh. Their ideas once we get to the new year: Dollhouse vs. Beautiful People again, Hardy vs. Carter again, Young vs. Roode again and a Beer Money reunion. What was TNA’s creative doing during all that time? It certainly wasn’t coming up with something fresh and interesting.

Looking at what we got tonight, I never want to see a Hardy again. It felt like Matt Hardy was in every single segment and now we get ANOTHER Carter vs. Hardy match because the first three weren’t clear enough. My guess is they finally put the title on Matt, likely with shenanigans, because that makes up for all of the previous losses in wrestling logic.

That goes back to the main problem here: we’ve seen so much of this stuff before. It felt like TNA just took whatever ideas they’ve had in the last year and threw them out there again because they worked so well the first time. This show wasn’t a horrible quality, but it was a horrible effort. With the state that TNA is in at the moment, that’s the worst possible thing they could have. I’m sure TNA fans will love it because they love whatever TNA throws at them and seem to love seeing the same ideas over and over again, but this was a really, really tough sit.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Shynron – Twist of Fate

Dollhouse b. Beautiful People – Package piledriver to Rayne

Eric Young b. Bobby Roode – Piledriver

Tigre Uno/Wolves b. Eli Drake/Jesse Godderz/DJZ – Brainbuster to Godderz

Kurt Angle b. Drew Galloway – Super Angle slam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: January 5, 2016
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

This is a new beginning for TNA as they’re making their debut on Pop TV and crowning a new World Champion to wrap up their three month long tournament. This is in addition to all of their new stories and potentially new talents debuting. In other words, this is their restart point after all that time off. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the tournament in case you haven’t heard about it in the last three months.

The new opening sequence has a slower instrumental theme by Billy Corgan. I’m not wild on it as it’s not really doing much to fire me up.

There’s a new entrance with a big screen and an entrance in the middle. It’s very similar to Raw if you lowered the video screen.

Dixie Carter is in the ring with the World Title to open things up. She talks about being on Pop because of several reasons, though she leaves out the fact that they didn’t have many other options. This leads to a discussion of the final four but here are Ethan and Titus to interrupt. Ethan thinks this is a new beginning so we should have a Carter family reunion and an official airing of the grievances.

Ethan goes on a rant about how Dixie can’t handle his success but Dixie cuts him off to say that Ethan needs to take a long look in the mirror. Back at Bound For Glory, Matt Hardy beat him to win the title and now Ethan is using lawyers to rob Matt of his title. This brings out Matt to mock Ethan’s whining but Eric Young runs in to jump him from behind. Lashley comes out for the save but has to deal with Tyrus. They all fight to the floor and it’s Matt diving off the top to take down Carter, Tyrus and Lashley as we go to a break.

We’re about thirteen minutes into the show and I’m really not feeling this show so far. It’s not bad but it feels like almost every wrestling show I’ve seen in a long time: talking leading to brawling to the end of the first segment. None of these four guys are doing anything for me as champion either and that’s not a good thing.

During the break, Young attacked Matt with a chair and tried to piledrive him on a chair until security stopped him.

TNA World Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Eric Young vs. Lashley

Lashley lost to Carter back in the group stage. Carter hides at ringside to start before getting inside, only to be run over by a hard shoulder. Back in and Carter stops a charge with two boots in the corner and Tyrus adds a slam on the floor to earn his paycheck. Ethan slaps on a chinlock as the fans argue over whether or not he can wrestle.

Carter mixes it up with a standing guillotine choke until Lashley suplexes him down with pure power. A TKO drops Lashley for two but he powers out of the 1%er and grabs a powerslam. Tyrus breaks up the spear but Lashley powers Carter onto his shoulder, only to have to deck Tyrus again. The spear misses and Carter grabs a rollup for the pin to advance at 9:28.

Rating: C+. Much like this show as a whole so far, this was just kind of there. I’ve seen better and I’ve seen worse, but it’s nothing I’m really going to remember after tonight. Well at least not until TNA shows us five recap videos of it a week for the next two months. It’s a fine enough match, but Lashley keeps looking like a choker in these big matches.

Bobby Roode misquotes Kid Rock by saying it’s not cocky if you can back it up (the line is “it’s not bragging if you do it and you back it up”). Tonight there’s a challenge to anyone in any promotion to face him for the King of the Mountain Title.

Here’s Kurt Angle with something to say. He thanks the fans for always having his back throughout his career and all of his accomplishments. Angle talks about what a thrill it is to come out here every single week but now it’s time for him to step aside. After listing off some of the great opponents he’s fought over the years, Angle says his farewell tour needs to have some top talent involved. There is so much talent right behind the screen with guys like Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards, plus his handpicked opponent for next week: Drew Galloway.

Drew comes out to say what an honor this is and how the wrestling fan inside him is freaking out right now. However, here’s Jesse Godderz of all people to interrupt. Jesse brags about his success on Big Brother and how appropriate it is for him to be the star on this new network. Cue Eli Drake to talk about how the fossil in the ring needs to leave wrestling alone. Angle was talking about the Wolves but Drake could team up with anyone, even Jesse, and beat them. Angle considers this a challenge and asks for a fight, resulting in the heels quickly being cleared out.

Jeff Hardy promises that Matt will win the title tonight.

Eric Young comes out and says Matt won’t be fighting tonight. Cue a limping Matt for their match.

TNA World Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Matt Hardy vs. Eric Young

Young goes after him on the ramp and is almost immediately backdropped before the opening bell. They get inside and Matt decks him in the jaw a few times. The limp is fine enough that Matt can run the ropes but an early Twist of Fate attempt is easily broken up. Eric takes it back to the floor and pulls back the floor mats. That goes nowhere so Eric throws him back inside and it’s time for a slugout.

A bulldog and Twist of Fate get two each for Matt before they spill back to the floor. Young actually pulls off the piledriver on the exposed concrete and Matt is done. Cue Jeff to check on his brother but Eric baseball slides him down. Despite being dropped on his head on concrete, Matt is still able to catch Eric diving off the top in a cutter (called a Twist of Fate) for the pin at 8:05.

Rating: C. Same reaction as the first match: it’s ok and that’s about it. I don’t think there was any surprise that Matt was winning here, though that doesn’t make Ethan vs. Matt for the title all over again mean any less. Of course there’s always the chance that there could be a swerve, but at least it might be more entertaining than the two just ok matches we’ve seen so far.

Someone whose face we can’t see is walking through the back.

Back from a break, Ethan accuses Jeff of keeping Matt in his shadow. Jeff says no way and promises that Matt wins tonight.

King of the Mountain Title: Bobby Roode vs. ???

Roode is defending against…..Bram. It’s a brawl to start and they’re quickly on the ramp with Roode running him over with a clothesline to the back of the head. Bram gets sent hard into the barricade as this is one sided so far. The Roode Bomb and Blockbuster both miss and Bram gets two off a spinwheel kick. Not that it matters as the Roode Bomb retains the title at 4:45.

Rating: D. This was nothing more than a way to add another title match to a card. The name of the title really isn’t working for me but at least they’re giving Roode something to do. Bram continues to be the same guy which isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. Not the worst match ever here but it didn’t have time to go anywhere.

Post match James Storm’s music starts up before Eric Young runs in to attack Roode. Bram and Young beat him down but here’s James Storm (shock and awe) to clean house. Storm says he’s been asked why he left Impact Wrestling a few months back. Once he left he realized that he didn’t like who he was becoming because that’s not him.

Then he traveled the world (or at least other parts of Florida) and started flipping through the channels when he saw himself winning the Biggest Disappointment Award. That’s not how he rolls because people like him made this company. That brings him to Roode, who he’s drank a lot of beer with and made a lot of money with. Now it’s time to have a little fun so Storm offers him a beer. Roode: “Money.”

Given that this show is taped and not airing live, the fact that a production error like that aired is inexcusable. Like really, find someone to cut that thing out and make this look professional.

The Beautiful People are ready for the Doghouse because they’re the originals.

Beer Money issues a challenge to Bram and Eric Young for this Friday’s live One Night Only pay per view.

Dollhouse vs. Beautiful People

Taryn is out of the company so it’s Marti Bell/Jade/Rebel vs. Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne and a mystery partner due to Angelina Love being pregnant. Now since this is TNA, I’d bet on the partner being Gail Kim. The mystery partner is…..oh of course it’s Gail Kim. Jade and Gail get things going with Kim taking over, meaning it’s off to Velvet vs. Marti.

Velvet starts cleaning house and it’s Madison coming in off a blind tag for a dropkick. Rebel comes in as well and drops Gail with a faceplant before holding Madison in place for a dropkick from Jade. Everything breaks down and we get the parade of finishers, capped off by Jade kicking Gail in the head for two. Since this is TNA though, a quick bodyscissors into a rollup gives Gail the pin at 4:14.

Rating: D+. The girls looked good but there’s nothing here we haven’t seen before. I had Gail Kim written down before her entrance because this division is the same group of women doing almost the same story every single time because it’s all they know how to do. If I had to guess, Kong is next.

Post match the Beautiful People and Gail get beaten down until Kong comes out to make it even worse. Apparently Kong is now the new leader of the Dollhouse. Riveting.

It’s time for the debut of the Miracle. This brings out Maria Kanellis, fresh over from Ring of Honor. Maria talks about how everyone has false hope of getting a promotion or losing that seventy five pounds. Or maybe they keep hoping that someone will come along and save professional wrestling. Tonight, that miracle is coming true and its name is Mike Bennett.

Cue Bennett in a suit and Bray Wyatt style hat to declare himself our new hero. Pro wrestling needs a miracle because it used to be fun and exciting. When Mike was a kid, wrestling was mainstream but now it’s full of a bunch of wannabes who call themselves pro wrestlers. Later tonight, the washed up Matt Hardy is facing Ethan Carter III for the World Title but that’s not the miracle that wrestling needs. The miracle will be when Mike Bennett wins the World Title and the commentators are all asking if we believe in miracles. Good debut here, but as usual Maria outshines her husband.

Matt Hardy tells his wife and son that this is all for them.

The Wolves challenge Kurt Angle and Drew Galloway for Friday. Eli Drake and Jesse Godderz come in so they’ll make it a three way.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III

The title is vacant coming in. Jeff and Tyrus agree to leave them alone, the latter of which isn’t cool with Ethan. It’s a brawl to start with Matt taking over on the floor to start and throwing Carter over the announcers’ table. Back in and neither finisher can hit but Carter gets two off a dropkick. A running neckbreaker sends Matt out to the apron and Ethan kicks him head first into the post for good measure.

Matt comes right back with a Side Effect for two though because his head will not die. Two more Side Effects get two more near fall but Ethan comes back with some TKO’s. A third TKO is countered into the Twist of Fate for two and the 1%er gets the same. There’s almost nothing between these big moves. Another Twist gets another two so Matt tries a super Twist of Fate, only to be countered into a super 1%er to give Carter the title back at 10:20.

Rating: C+. After three months, thirty two participants and a ton of hype, the final match isn’t even eleven minutes long. It’s not a bad match or anything and they were doing well with the drama, but after all the time and effort they put into this thing, there’s really no way you can have a ten minute match for the big blowoff. Way too short for what it needed to be here.

Ethan poses as Matt’s wife is more upset than her husband.

Overall Rating: D+. Well that happened. This was a totally middle of the road show with very little interesting. We’re right back where we were before Bound For Glory with Carter as champion and no one interesting to fight him. Are we supposed to care about Tyrus getting a shot? If that’s their big story, they’re in a lot more trouble than they thought. The show certainly wasn’t bad or anything but for their big premiere after all that time off, I was expecting WAY more than what we got here.

Results

Ethan Carter III b. Lashley – Rollup

Matt Hardy b. Eric Young – Twist of Fate

Bobby Roode b. Bram – Roode Bomb

Beautiful People/Gail Kim b. Dollhouse – Rollup to Jade

Ethan Carter III b. Matt Hardy – Super 1%er

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Impact Wrestling
Date: September 30, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s the go home show for Bound For Glory and the big question is what does Dixie Carter have in store for her nephew Ethan at the show. Last week’s show ended with a teaser of a special guest referee for Sunday’s title match, even though it should be pretty easy to figure out where they’re going with the story. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Galloway winning the title shot last week.

Here are Ethan and Tyrus to open the show. Ethan doesn’t get why no one is talking about him four days before the biggest show of the year. Everyone is talking about Drew Galloway when he hasn’t even won anything yet. Even Dixie Carter is talking about Drew and the champ wants her out here right now to explain herself.

Dixie gets right in his face and talks about how Drew stood up for TNA after Ethan wanted nothing to do with the war against the company their family owns. Ethan says he’s sleeping fine at night as the World Heavyweight Champion. This Sunday, Drew isn’t going to beat him because Drew can’t do it. Cue Galloway to tell Ethan to shut his bloody mouth. No one likes Ethan because he turned his back on the company.

Drew says this is his company in the first place and the belt makes him the best in the world. Ethan better hope that Drew never stops talking because the only thing he does better than talk is fight. The champ says this Sunday, Drew isn’t going to stand up because he better stand down. Drew isn’t coming to Sunday to be the savior, but he is coming to be the champ. This was good stuff and as well done of a thrown together build as they could have had.

James Storm blames Mahabali Sheera for the downfall of the Revolution.

Ethan tells Dixie that he’ll take out the future on Sunday.

Recap of Sheera rebelling against the Revolution, which started falling apart as a result.

James Storm vs. Mahabali Sheera

No DQ. Sheera starts the brawl in the aisle but Storm hits him low to take over. Storm’s cross body is caught in a fall away slam but James grabs a Backstabber. Two chairs are set up in the middle of the ring and Storm slams Sheera “through” them for two. Now it’s table time but Storm spits beer in the referee’s eyes.

The worst spear I’ve ever seen (like worse than Christian’s) gets no cover and Storm is able to get in a cowbell shot to the head. Eye of the Storm through the table gets two so Storm breaks a beer bottle. Cue Manik and Abyss for a Black Hole Slam and frog splash, setting up the Sky High to give Mahabali the pin at 7:30.

Rating: C-. If you believe the reports, this is supposed to be the big star at the India tapings. I’m not wild on Sheera either way but this wasn’t much of a match. Then again, that’s almost always the case with TNA’s gimmick matches as they’re so overused that it’s hard to get into one over the other. Storm is gone from the company now and if they’ve ever wasted a potential star like they did with him, I can’t come up with the name.

Here’s Bobby Roode with something to say. Roode is proud to be King of the Mountain Champion and is ready to defend the title with respect. There’s going to be an open challenge on Sunday and here’s Lashley to interrupt. Lashley came here to face the best competition in the world and to collect titles. They’ve had some great matches all year so why not one more time on Sunday for the King of the Mountain Title. Roode accepts. They also respect each other a lot because that’s required in TNA.

Taryn tells the Dollhouse to destroy the Beautiful People once and for all tonight.

DJZ vs. Tommaso Ciampa vs. Trevor Lee

Lee and Brian Myers will be getting their rematch for the Tag Team Titles on Sunday. Ciampa starts fast by suplexing DJZ onto the apron but Lee hits a nice flip dive to take Ciampa down. DJZ comes back in with a middle rope elbow and a double tornado DDT. Lee German suplexes Ciampa for two but he comes back with Project Ciampa (powerbomb into a backstabber) for two on Trevor. The break up sends Ciampa to the floor though and Lee’s flipping cross body into a powerslam is good for the pin at 4:16.

Rating: C. So let me make sure I’ve got this straight. Lee, who is about to fight for the Tag Team Titles, wins an individual match by pinning someone going into a multi-man match for a singles title while Ciampa, a guy who isn’t even a full time wrestler here, was RIGHT THERE for the fall. Only in TNA.

The Beautiful People are ready for the Dollhouse, even though Angelina has a busted shoulder (read as she’s pregnant). Velvet wants Taryn at ringside because just like her, it’s going to be ugly.

Brooke talks about what it means to be a Knockout. She wants the title back.

Ethan isn’t worried about whatever Dixie has planned for him.

Dollhouse vs. Beautiful People

Marti/Rebel/Jade vs. Madison/Velvet here. Velvet’s “Let’s Cuddle and Watch Star Wars” shirt is about as awesome as you can get. It’s a brawl to start with Madison sending Marti into the corner. Off to Jade for some kicks to the ribs as Pope refuses to predict a winner between Kong and Kim, citing disrespect. Madison sends Jade into the corner and makes the tag off to Sky.

More kicks have Jade in trouble so she brings in Rebel (in pink gloves) for even more kicks. A double clothesline puts both of them down and it’s off to Madison vs. Marti with the Rayne Drop connecting for two. Everything breaks down and Velvet avoids having her arm crushed. Rebel throws powder in Madison’s eyes and Marti grabs a rollup for the pin at 6:20.

Rating: D. This really didn’t do it for me as they had a bunch of kicks and then a brawl at the end. Also, I don’t know about you but I could see two big factions facing off on pay per view as an interesting idea but why do that when you can air it in a nothing match on TV instead? As usual, only in TNA.

Eric Young wants to fight anyone.

Gail Kim is ready for Awesome Kong and doesn’t know what to expect when they square off on Sunday.

Eric Young comes out to yell about Sgt. Chris Melendez having so many people help him with that one win. Eric declares himself God. This brings out Robbie E. of all people because he wants a fight. Robbie’s offense doesn’t do much as a low blow puts him right back down.

This brings out Melendez for the real fight but Eric puts him down one more time. Young goes for a chair but Chris takes it away and sends Young running. Now it’s Mr. Anderson to block Young from escaping and ask him about where God has been all his life. A bunch of people in the back want to beat Young up but Anderson, Melendez and Robbie take their turns on him instead.

Matt Hardy comes in to see Galloway and let him know that if they win their tag match tonight, Sunday’s main event becomes a three way. Drew loves the idea and says that’s why they’re here.

Young yells at Dixie about how unfair that was so Dixie gives him Kurt Angle on Sunday.

Video on Sunday’s card.

Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Matt Hardy/Drew Galloway

If Matt and Drew win, Matt is added to Sunday’s World Title match. Tyrus kicks Drew in the ribs to start before it’s off to Drew vs. Matt. Hardy has some more luck and gets in a few shots of his own but the Twist of Fate is easily broken up. The villains take over with Tyrus slapping on a chinlock before stepping on Matt’s ribs as we take a break. Back with Matt making a comeback and tagging in Drew to clean house. A running boot to the face is enough to put Tyrus away at 13:20, putting Matt in the title match on Sunday.

Rating: D+. How in the world was this a thirteen minute match? It felt like it ran about five minutes and I can’t remember a thing about it. This really didn’t need to have a stipulation attached but we wouldn’t be in TNA if they didn’t add something in for the sake of adding it in. We’re not even done with that yet.

Dixie comes out and announces Jeff Hardy as the guest referee for Sunday’s main event. Shocking indeed.

Overall Rating: C. This was WAY better than in previous weeks. Like, staggeringly better in parts. They addressed the major matches on Sunday and built them up well enough to make me a lot more interested in the show than I was before. Above all else though, everything seemed like it had a purpose. It wasn’t a bunch of filler disguised as a wrestling show and that’s a very nice change of pace.

However, there is one major issue. TNA spent their entire go home show building up Carter vs. Galloway but then they throw Matt Hardy in with like two minutes to go. Not only is Matt not a logical move (he’s lost his two title shots already) but it feels as shoehorned in as anything I’ve seen in a very long time. I’m not a big fan of triple threats in the first place and throwing in someone who doesn’t belong there makes it even worse. I could go for a break from the Hardys as well as TNA really needs to get away from these old acts. It’s not like their ratings are amazing with Jeff on top or anything so why not try something new?

Results

Mahabali Sheera b. James Storm – Sky High

Trevor Lee b. DJZ and Tommaso Ciampa – Spinning powerslam to DJZ

Dollhouse b. Beautiful People – Rollup to Rayne

Matt Hardy/Drew Galloway b. Tyrus/Ethan Carter III – Big boot to Tyrus

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Impact Wrestling
Date: September 2, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s full on war now as the Global Force roster attacked several TNA wrestlers last week with Karen Jarrett revealing that she was behind the attacks on Drew Galloway and Bully Ray in recent weeks. In addition to the invasion, it’s almost time for Bound For Glory, which really hasn’t been set up yet. Let’s get to it.

The Hardys and Ethan Carter III arrived earlier. Carter defends against Matt Hardy tonight and if he retains, Jeff Hardy is Carter’s personal assistant.

We recap Karen Jarrett being revealed as the evil mastermind last week.

The Jarretts lead the GFW roster to the ring. Jeff talks (again) about returning on June 24 and being inducted into the Hall of Fame. He brags about all the success the GFW/TNA show had but Karen cuts him off to explain that she did everything for all the hard work her husband has put in for GFW. Yes she set these wheels in motion and had Chris Adonis take out Bully Ray. Jeff is building a new empire and no one in the back can compete with these boys. Adonis issues an open challenge to anyone in the back so here’s Lashley.

Lashley vs. Chris Mordetzky

Lashley throws him down to start and then drops Chris with a clothesline. The Mordetzky Lock (full nelson) is quickly countered into a full nelson slam but Mordetzky nails a Polish Hammer (double ax handle to the chest) to take over. We hit the chinlock before they head outside with Lashley being sent into the steps. Back in and a butterfly suplex seems to annoy Lashley more than hurt him. A double clothesline puts both guys down and it’s Lashley up first with a German suplex. The spear is countered into a spinebuster but Lashley easily blocks the full nelson. Now the spear connects but here’s GFW for the DQ at 8:57.

Rating: D+. Totally meh match here as this was nothing to see and just a match to show that Mordetsky is part of GFW’s roster. I still have no reason to care about a group of people who have been around for a month and range from no one interesting to WWE rejects. Nothing to see here.

Lashley gets destroyed so here are the Wolves for a failed save. Jeff says bring out the surprise so here she is with the Tag Team Title Feast or Fired briefcase. She says Magnus gave it to her, which apparently you can just do.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Brian Myers/Trevor Lee

Wait a minute because Earl Hebner won’t do it, earning him a right hand from Jeff. Another referee is forced to ringside and the match is on. Trevor dropkicks Edwards down for two as this is actually a regular match for a change. Myers comes in for a slam of his own but the Wolves come back with stereo submission holds, only to break them up to go after Sonjay Dutt. Myers brings in a pipe but the distraction lets Lee blast Davey with the briefcase for the pin and the titles at 2:35. There’s your token title win to make this invasion IMPORTANT.

Bobby Roode only cares about winning the King of the Mountain Title tonight.

Long recap of everything that just happened.

Ethan Carter III talks about his love of stories and how tonight, Matt’s story of going for the World Title ends tonight.

King of the Mountain Title: PJ Black vs. Bobby Roode

Black is defending and Roode stops to brag about being a TNA original. This is TNA’s house and Roode is bringing the title home. It’s a brawl on the floor to start as Matthews mistakenly says Black won the title last week. They get inside for some chops but Black blocks a suplex and sends Roode outside for a suicide dive. A springboard clothesline drops Roode and we take a break. Back with Roode winning a slugout and getting two off a spinebuster.

The Roode Bomb is broken up and Gabriel gets two off a reverse DDT. Black’s top rope Lionsault hits knees though and Roode slaps on the Crossface, only to have Dutt come out for a distraction. It doesn’t work this time though as Roode puts the Crossface back on. Drew Galloway takes Dutt out and Black….is free because Roode let it go for no apparent reason. Black’s springboard is countered into the Roode Bomb for the pin and the title at 13:15.

Rating: C+. The match was fine but what does this title change mean? That would be nothing, because the title has no important lineage and has been thrown out there for some meaningless changes. It’s the old Russo idea that you can get people to care because the title changes without the idea of making people care about the title in the first place.

Post match GFW chases Roode off and Jeff rants about everything going on here. Cue Dixie and OH DEAR GOD SHUT UP! They’re going back and forth about stabbing each other in the back and all the mistakes each other has made like ANYONE cares. Jeff brings up his ownership stake and Dixie proposes a winner take all match. Jeff agrees and Drew Galloway comes out to be on Dixie’s team. Drew wants to stand up for TNA and the Wolves and Lashley come out to join him in Team TNA.

Dinero and Matthews talk about what just happened.

Here’s the returning Kenny King with a mic in hand. He’s been going through an identity crisis in the last year but now he’s just here on his own. Kenny doesn’t want to be the kind of guy who jumps someone from behind and uses a numbers advantage to beat someone down. He issues an open challenge to anyone from any roster to come fight him right now.

Bram vs. Kenny King

Bram goes right after King to start but Kenny takes him down with a nice dive. He tries it once too often though and eats a clothesline to give Bram control. King comes back with a running elbow in the corner, followed by an enziguri to put Bram in the corner. Bram ducks another dive though and the Brighter Side of Suffering gives Bram the pin at 3:37.

Rating: D+. So King comes back, turns face, and loses in less than four minutes. That being said, this match was nothing to see but it calmed me down a lot after the stupid hostile takeover stuff had me losing my mind. This was something different than that one big story, though it was stupid in its own way.

The Hardys say Matt will win the title. Has there been a more tacked on feud than this in recent years?

Here’s Velvet Sky with something to say. She’s been keeping to herself since she got back for a reason. The Knockouts division has been evolving constantly and so has she. The Dollhouse is out of control and Taryn is going to pay. Velvet tells Taryn to come out here but she comes up on screen to say how sick she is of being compared to Velvet as the hot blonde in TNA.

Taryn has been in movies and on TV but Velvet looks like a Hot Topic reject. This is Taryn’s house and now she has to play with Taryn’s dolls. Cue the Dollhouse, who quickly beats Tarn down. Angelina Love and Madison Rayne come out and yes, the Beautiful People are back.

Video on Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III in Full Metal Mayhem, which of course set up tonight’s regular match.

Dixie gives Team TNA their pep talk. It’s Lethal Lockdown in two weeks for full control.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III

Ethan is defending and if Matt loses, Jeff Hardy is Ethan’s personal assistant. Josh: “EC3 and Matt Hardy have been rivals for quite some time.” No Josh, they haven’t been. Feeling out process to start until Matt hits a running Diamond Cutter (called a neckbreaker) for two. A big clothesline puts the champion on the floor and it’s off to a break. Back with Carter missing a middle rope elbow but putting on a sleeper.

Matt fights up and nails some clotheslines, followed by the Side Effect. The referee gets bumped off the Twist of Fate attempt though and there’s no one to count. A belt shot to Matt’s head gets two because Matt WILL NOT DIE, which seems to be code for WILL NOT STOP DRAGGING OUT OBVIOUS ENDINGS. Jeff gets in a cheap shot on Carter to give Matt two but they ram heads and Carter falls on top for two. Tyrus grabs Matt’s leg and gets chaired by Jeff, only to have Ethan hit a TKO on Matt for two more. The referee gets distracted again and a low blow and sunset flip retain Carter’s title at 13:17.

Rating: C. Wow you know what that wasn’t? Epic. You know why it wasn’t? Because they did the big gimmick match three weeks ago and this company is too stupid to figure out that they shouldn’t do things in that order. The match was fine but I have no reason to care about Matt Hardy as a lame duck challenger before we get to the Bound For Glory and whatever they have planned there.

Jeff now has to work for Carter and is forced to raise the champ’s hand to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. I’ve sat through a lot from TNA over the years. I survived Immortal, THEY, all of Russo’s nonsense and Dixieland. Tonight, for the first time, I got mad at them over how bad things got. This invasion is one of the worst written, lamest attempts at doing something that I’ve ever seen. Case in point: if the blowoff is in two weeks, the whole story lasted five shows. Even the WWF InVasion, one of the most botched stories ever, ran several months before the big ending.

Instead, TNA has decided that we care about the power struggle (because they’re too stupid to run ANYTHING BUT A POWER STRUGGLE) between Jeff and Dixie, leaving Ethan Carter III, a guy who could have been a much bigger deal for them, fighting the Hardys in a midcard feud. We’re a month away from Bound For Glory and their big story is going to be blown off on TV two weeks beforehand.

If TNA is going down, and I’m sure they won’t because these morons somehow back their way into deal after deal to keep this mess going another six months, they’re going out as only they can: with no idea of how to run a good show, bad storytelling, stupid decisions, and the wrong people on top because those people think the fans care about them. This was a disaster and I absolutely hated it.

Results

Lashley b. Chris Mordetzky via DQ when the GFW roster interfered

Brian Myers/Trevor Lee b. Wolves – Lee pinned Richards after a briefcase to the head

Bobby Roode b. PJ Black – Roode Bomb

Bram b. Kenny King – Brighter Side of Suffering

Ethan Carter III b. Matt Hardy – Sunset flip

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Here’s someone a bit curvier: Angelina Love.

We’ll start things off with Love in her younger days at a WXW show in 2004.

Elite 8 Second Round: Beth Phoenix vs. Angel Williams

Angel is better known as Angelina Love. Phoenix comes in holding her neck so Williams grabs two quick rollups for a near fall each. We quickly hit a chinlock to work on Beth’s neck but Phoenix comes back with a gutwrench suplex. Angel slaps on a dragon sleeper but Tracy Brooks and a chick named Belladonna come out for a distraction, allowing Beth to grab a quick rollup for the pin.

Angel would get a developmental contract with WWE and head to Deep South Wrestling in Georgia. Here’s a TV match from February 18, 2007. I believe this is the first Deep South match I’ve ever seen.

Angel Williams vs. Krissy Vaine

Vaine is GM and brings out some of the other Divas to surround the ring. It’s a catfight to start with neither girl being able to keep control. Vaine tries to crawl away but gets dragged back to the middle of the ring. The catfight continues until Krissy grabs a quick side slam to take over. Vaine poses a lot and throws Angel down by the hair. Williams pops up and fires off some chops as I think MVP is driving me insane on commentary, talking about how he usually has to pay thousands to see things like this. Not that it matters as a chick called the bag lady comes in with a stick (as in a tree branch) and blasts Williams for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was every stereotype of a bad women’s match that you’ll ever find. There was barely any wrestling, there was a lot of catfighting and neither girl looked like she had any business out there. Vaine is mainly an indy chick while Williams would get a lot better. She actually had a better look here though as she looked less freakishly thin and didn’t have her bad tattoos.

It’s off to TNA at Genesis 2007 for a title shot before she had her more famous name.

Knockout Title: Angel Williams vs. Gail Kim vs. ODB vs. Roxxi Laveux

Williams is Angelina Love before she meant anything other than a good looking blonde. She doesn’t have those ugly arm tattoos either. This might be ODB’s debut match. Actually she was at BFG. Good enough. Gail says she isn’t losing the title after a month. The New Age Outlaws (Voodoo Kin Mafia here) are at ringside for Roxxi. Gail fights off all three of them to start and does it pretty easily. One of the Outlaws tries to interfere and they’re out of here.

Now Roxxi is hypnotizing the referee. Gail is taken down on the floor as Love is beaten down. We get the required spanking as my eyes roll. Roxxi and ODB have something like a dance off and ODB rams Roxxi’s head into her crotch. A bicycle kick by Love takes Roxxi down and thank goodness Gail is back. There’s a cross body to the floor to take out Roxxi. ODB beats on Angelina a bit but the blonde gets a pretty sweet counter into a DDT for two.

The Tower of Doom puts out every non-champion. Scratch that idea as Gail hits a missile dropkick to Roxxi and everyone is down. Now they slug it out and I think we’re wrapping things up. A dropkick puts Roxxi down and a middle rope leg lariat gets two. Roxxi spits something in ODB’s eyes and gets speared down. Gail hits a Regal Cutter on ODB to retain.

Rating: C-. This was as plain and basic of a four way match as you could ask for. That being said it’s pretty entertaining and things worked out fairly well here to leg Kim have her first title defense. That being said, any match where we can look at Kim in tiny white shorts for about ten minutes makes it good to me.

Angelina hooked up with Velvet Sky as the Beautiful People for some Knockout tags, including this at Slammiversary 2008.

ODB/Roxie/Gail Kim vs. Beautiful People/Moose

Moose is a chick that is almost as tough as Kong and is the mascot of the Beautiful People. She broke her leg in a hardcore match in an indy company and hasn’t been seen in TNA since. The Beautiful People leave Moose in the ring and she gets triple teamed. Roxie has the really short haircut here due to losing a match at Sacrifice. Gail and Moose officially start us off.

And make that Roxie as everything breaks down quickly. The Beautiful People try to leave but Gail and ODB don’t let them. Moose gets a flapjack for two. Off to Velvet who likes being on top of Roxie. The heels take over on Roxie and Moose hits a bad looking TKO for two. Velvet puts on an Octopus Hold and bites the hand at the same time. Hot tag to Gail who cleans house, putting all three chicks down and hitting a top rope cross body on Velvet for two.

Angelina takes out Kim’s bad knee and the heels take over again. They must have some time to work with here. Love works over the knee and my goodness we have psychology in a match involving breasts. Edit: breasts that don’t belong to Joe. They really are better than the Divas. Half crab goes on for a bit to work on the leg more. Moose comes in for a bridging Indian deathlock as Gail is in trouble.

There’s a Brock Lock (over the shoulder leg bar) but Gail gets the rope again. The referee is in a bowtie and shorts. That’s quite a look. Gail finally breaks free and there’s ODB off a tag. Thesz Press gets two on Moose and it breaks down again. ODB picks Moose up and hits a British Bulldog style powerslam for the pin.

Rating: C+. I liked this and the knee work was a nice touch. Gail has a bad knee coming in and the announcers pointed it out so it’s not like it was hard to miss. Little things like that one can add up a lot of points in a match and this is a good example of it. That made sense for the heels to go after and they did, showing some thinking which is a big part of psychology.

And another at Hard Justice 2008.

Gail Kim/Taylor Wilde/ODB vs. Beautiful People/Awesome Kong

It’s just Angelina and Velvet at this point. Traci Brooks is here as referee. She looks great from the neck down. I guess Kaz closes his eyes. Gail looks good too so at least we have something to look at here. Angelina vs. ODB to start us off. Ok make that Velvet. She sprays perfume to make the ring smell better and ODB in particular. ODB gets it and sprays various parts of herself with it.

Gail comes in and finally gets things going against Sky. Now Angelina gets beaten up a bit. Off to Wilde who doesn’t do as well. Her thing at this point is she shocked Kong in a huge upset to win the title and is champion here. I guess I missed the belt when she came out. Gail vs. Kong now and that goes badly for Gail. Off to ODB who looks small as well. The nice girls triple team Kong to put her down and send her to the floor. That’s good thinking.

ODB tries to pound on her because that went so well the first time. Traci throws Saed (Kong’s handler) out. ODB spits alcohol into Kong’s face and is promptly crushed for doing so. Velvet comes in with a modified octopus hold which doesn’t last long either. Gail vs. Angelina results in Gail going into the railing throat first. This match is missing more than it’s hitting. Angelina keeps choking and Traci keeps pulling her off. Gail finally gets the tag to Wilde and everything breaks down. Botox Injection takes Wilde down but Wilde hooks a victory roll out of the Lights Out for the pin.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t into this and it just went way too long. The Beautiful People didn’t know how to work a long match yet and it was really clear. There wasn’t much of a story either as it felt more like a big collection of one on one matches than a tag match. There was no real segment where one chick got beaten down and that hurt the match a lot. I know it’s a formula but it works better than most matches.

Let’s hit the cage at Lockdown 2009.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Awesome Kong vs. Taylor Wilde

I forgot how hot the BP were as the total stuck up villains. West doesn’t even bother hiding that he only cares about their looks. They cut Kong’s braids so she’s a good deal ticked off. Taylor is still hot. I’ve always liked how she high fives people on the way to the ring. Little things like that make big differences as you look like you CARE about the fans. It’s not much but it’s something at least.

Kong goes straight for Love and beats the tar out of her, as does Taylor. Yeah they’re not even trying to hide that she gets the title tonight. She gets out of a powerbomb and avoids the butt drop from Kong. The two blondes go at it with Love winning. She’s underrated in the ring. The total smark crowd wants Gail Kim. Velvet’s never ending smirk is sexy beyond belief.

Giant swing as we go WAY old school. Love dizzy is kind of funny as well. Kong stands on her hair and pulls her up which must hurt. She has dominated the vast majority of this match, which to be fair has only been about four minutes so far. Kong goes up and misses a front flip splash to a huge pop. Love kills Wilde with a kick and then she and Velvet tie Kong to the cage BY HER HAIR.

Instead of just ending it there with a quick move from Angelina like they should, they have a one on one match with Wilde and Love. Wilde goes over to laugh at Kong and gets kicked in the face so Love can pin her. Sweet goodness is it impossible to make a champion look strong here at all???

Rating: C-. Not bad here actually as the ending was a legit surprise and well done. Not the new champion that is but the way they got rid of Kong. I wasn’t a fan of the in ring stuff as it was ALL Kong for the vast majority here and Wilde was just there so that the pin could work, but I’m really liking the ending which is what makes this match work for me. Well that and the girls were mostly gorgeous which is the main perk of the division.

Love had to defend the title against a monster at Sacrifice 2009.

Knockouts Title: Awesome Kong vs. Angelina Love

The Beautiful People have been eliminated by Kong and are also called Mi Pi Sexy here for no good reason. Love has a crown on here and is looking rather nervous to put it mildly. We get a Kong’s Gonna Kill You chant to start things off. Love tries to run which of course fails. There’s a funny visual of her holding onto the railing and Kong pulling her feet which leaves her off the ground.

All Kong to start us off here of course as West talks about how Love is luring her into a false sense of security. Kong misses the spinning back fist into the post though and Love has….well I can’t in fair consciousness call it a chance but she’s not getting beaten on for awhile at least. Love kicks her down and sprints into the ring to get the count out which of course doesn’t work.

Botox Injection kick hits but these shots are clearly not working in the slightest. Kong apparently remembers that it’s supper time and she wants a Knockout for supper. Wow that was corny. Love tries to leave again but Raisha Saed stops her and Kong lands a running splash to end her. Leg drop gets one as Kong lets her up. Love gets out of the way of a middle rope splash and sprays some stuff in the eyes of Kong. A rollup with tights ends Kong.

Rating: D. Well they did what they could here and at least they booked the match properly. Love couldn’t fight Kong straight up and everyone knew it so they didn’t try to. Love stealing the win is ok I guess but this was the beginning of the total dominance by the BP until Tara helped fight them off a bit.

One more title shot at Victory Road 2009.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Tara

Tara is champion here and showed up recently, more or less hating the Beautiful People just because I guess. She also took the title on Impact about a month ago so this is the rematch. They’re scared of the spider which I can’t blame them for since I have a spider bite on my arm that refuses to heal. Love is freaking awesome as the hot chick. It just works for her.

Of course the announcers can’t think because there are women in front of them. I love that Broken theme. We stall for awhile as they run from the spider. What was the point of that anyway? Is it supposed to be sexy? I don’t want a freaking  tarantula anywhere near me. Tara starts in the t-shirt early on and then rips it off for a great visual.

Then again I’ve always had a crush on Tara so there we go. Tara busts out the Tarantula move which at least makes sense here. West is mostly heel here also. Love starts dominating after some hot girls interference. We get a Bobo Brazil reference that even Tenay doesn’t get. We go old school with a double clothesline spot. I love that move.

Skye accidently sprays hairspray into Love’s eyes but it only gets two because the referee throws the other two girls out. Tara misses a moonsault and Love covers her, but Tara’s foot is on the rope. Doesn’t matter apparently as Love gets the title anyway. Post match Tara superkicks the referee and beats up Love.

Rating: C-. Not bad, but nothing great. The thing here is that the Knockouts at this time were AWESOME with their stuff destroying the Divas. Somehow in a year that’s completely switched but whatever. Anyway, this wasn’t anything great but it’s certainly not bad. It did the job it was supposed to do though so I have to give it that.

Love would get the title back by pulling it out of a box (seriously) so let’s mix it up a bit at Lockdown 2010.

Knockout’s Title/Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. Tara/Angelina Love

Ok so it’s your standard two singles wrestlers vs. tag champions. You know the rules I’m sure. Yep Tara is gorgeous. Velvet and Angelina start us off. Taz is rather annoying on commentary to say the least. Some nice double teaming from the BP there. Make jokes amongst yourselves. Tara pulls an Angle and totally misses a moonsault. Good to see that the accuracy is there still.

Angel is better in the ring than she’s given credit for. Madison takes the Widow’s Peak but Velvet makes the save. Lacey gets in somehow and drills Tara in the head with a belt to give Madison Rayne the Knockout’s Title. So that’s two straight title changes with the champion not getting pinned. Ok then. I do love the BP being the focus of the division. That’s intelligent and not sarcastic actually.

Rating: C-. Not terrible actually. Love is underrated in the ring and Tara is always solid. The booking is right here and we don’t get the wacky tag partners which is never any good. I’m rather happy for the first near hour of this show. I must be coming down with something. At least the match didn’t go on that long.

Another shot at a title at Victory Road 2010.

Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love

If Rayne wins then Love retires and she can lose the belt by DQ. We start with a big slugout. Rayne is in skin colored clothes. And remember people: these chicks are WAY better than the Divas and don’t you forget it. I really can’t stand this division anymore as it’s somehow more of a joke than WWE.

Rayne wraps her legs around Love’s head and slams it face first into the mat. Her finisher doesn’t work and Love makes her comeback. Rayne brings in a chair and gets it kicked into her face. Can we get on with this? And here’s a chick on a motorcycle. She jumps Love and the referee determines that since she’s either Velvet or Lacey (she’s in a helmet) Rayne is disqualified and Love is champion. Rayne leaves with the chick that just cost her the belt of course. Allegedly it’s Tara, because she retired recently and therefore has to come back immediate.

Rating: D-. This was somehow less interesting than the previous match. This is the third straight title change that hasn’t involved the champion being pinned. Is there a point to this title anymore? Same with the girl tag titles. This is even more of a joke than I could have imagined. Whatever man.

Back to TV for a title shot on Impact, August 12, 2010.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne

Now, can we break the streak of title changes without an actual pin? How are we supposed to take this division seriously with the commentary the way it is? Naturally a lot of the moves from Madison are shall we say suggestive? And make sure you get the back shots. Love kills her with a bunch of stuff and here’s the motorcycle chick.

The crowd chants Tara as they know what’s coming. Skye pops up from behind and DRILLS her with a chair. The helmet comes off and she’s wearing a mask underneath. It comes half off but all we see is a mouth. Back in the ring Lights Out ends this and Love is a five time champion.

Rating: D. Crap match but did you expect anything else? Love looked like Mr. Perfect with the outfit and that was more or less the high point. This whole biker thing is going on to not make it look like Tara just returned a week later which is stupid since clearly the crowd knows who she is. This was a really short match but it did the job….whatever that was supposed to be.

And another on Impact, December 23, 2010.

Knockouts Tag Titles: Madison Rayne/Tara vs. Angelina Love

I forgot Madison was champion. That’s just not good at all. Angelina is introduced as being on her own due to Velvet being beaten down. It’s more or less Angelina vs. Madison as Tara can’t go because of her arm. Tara comes in for a few seconds but can’t do much at all due to the injury. She comes in, gets three stomps and a left handed choke and leaves. Not her fault of course but it makes the whole tag title thing a bit of a stretch.

Madison does her head scissors stomp thing and even her shapely figure can’t even get the crowd into this. Winter comes down and cleans house as Angelina tags her in. Apparently she’s taking over. A really bad Catatonic (spinning Rock Bottom from a slam position) ends Madison at 4:50.

Rating: D. The crowd was dead as all goodness for this. For a tag match having a total of three tags is a bit of a stretch. These belts don’t need to exist at all and you can see that more and more often every week. This wasn’t interesting at all and with the roster getting slimmer and slimmer, they need to do something with it soon. Winter will help, but they need more girls and fast.

Knockout Title: Angelina Love vs. Mickie James

Fans are totally behind Mickie here. There’s a fat guest timekeeper that Taz makes jokes about. Angelina does her zombie thing and it turns into kind of a catfight. Love works on the arm so Mickie gets a rana out of the corner, only to walk into a snap suplex for two. Mickie blows a kiss at Winter so Winter takes her down. Not into swinging I guess. Mickie gets a clothesline to take both girls down.

And there she goes right back to the floor. Angelina is sent into the steps which gets about a seven on the floor. Back in and Mickie takes over one more time with a bunch of clotheslines. Thesz Press off the top gets no cover. Winter grabs Mickie’s foot again which gets her nowhere at all.

Botox Injection (name totally doesn’t fit anymore) gets two so Angelina goes all psycho on Mickie again. She tries that backbreaker thing she’s been doing which is countered into the DDT attempt. Northern lights suplex gets two. Winter cheating on a rollup gets two. They botch the jumping DDT like never before but it gets the pin anyway. Horrible looking ending and considering Mickie was involved in it, that says a lot.

Rating: D+. The botches were flowing harder than a sorority’s menstrual cycle here and it really hurt the match. They need to get somewhere already with this story because they’re moving like molasses with it. Just get to the lesbian stuff or have Angelina wake up already. Mickie keeping the title here is probably only temporary but whatever.

One more TV match on Impact, September 15, 2011.

Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love

Angelina jumps her during the entrance (the camera was on the wrong end anyway) but Velvet gets something resembling a bulldog to send Angelina to the floor. Back with Angelina getting two off something we don’t see. Sky’s tights now say Let the Pigeons Loose. Oh great. Just what Tazz needs: a thought that it’s catching on. Sunset flip out of the corner gets two for Velvet. Velvet starts her comeback and tells Winter to get up on the apron. Winter clocks Angelina on the head with the belt (Hebner is cool with it) and a DDT (called a BeauDT but screw that) gives Velvet the win at 9:05 counting commercial.

Rating: D. Your usual Knockout mess here and the ending was really stupid. Why wasn’t that a DQ? Because the script didn’t call for it I suppose. Also, why would Angelina want to go fight Winter? Don’t they love each other or something? Also, seriously, the Beau-DT? I hated the Mick-DT but this is even worse.

Love would leave TNA in 2012 and hit the indies for awhile. Here she is at FWE No Limits 2013.

FWE Women’s Title: Angelina Love vs. Maria Kanellis

Maryse and Katie Lea are on commentary. Maria is defending here and is plays quite the villain by not wanting any fan to touch her and kissing her boyfriend Mike Bennett at ringside. She jumps Love at the bell but gets taken down by the hair. A running knee drops drops Maria as the male announcer tries to avoid saying chest. They head outside so Maria can hide behind Bennett and get Angelina to chase her inside.

The plan works for the most part but Maria misses the elbow drop, only to have Bennett offer a distraction so Maria can kick her to the floor. Back in and Bennett offers some choking as we get a CM Punk chant. Angelina’s sunset flip doesn’t work as Maria kicks her in the face to take over again. A backbreaker gets two for the champ and we hit the chinlock.

The girls debate going bald as until Love fights up with a series of clotheslines. Lights Out (lifting downward spiral) plants Maria but she rolls out to the floor. Mike slips her the belt but Love rolls her up for two. It should have been three but Mike shouted STOP, and for some reason the referee did just that. The distraction lets Maria grab a rollup of her own with a handful of tights for the pin.

Rating: D+. You know, Maria is actually really good in this heel role. She was terrible in the ring as a face but this worked FAR better as she nailed how to be a better than you villain. The referee just stopping was dumb, but at least Love looked good in defeat. Not much to see here but I was impressed by Maria.

Love would return to TNA in 2014 and had a title shot at Sacrifice.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne

Madison is defending and quickly knocks Angelina out to the floor with a shoulder. Angelina has a meeting with Velvet Sky and comes back in for a headlock and shoulder of her own. Madison takes her down with a nice trip but can’t use the headscissors face slam into the mat. Instead it’s a baseball slide to send Love back to the floor but she sends a following Rayne face first into the apron.

Back inside and the Beautiful People take turns choking on the ropes and in the corner to little avail. Madison gets a quick sunset flip for two but gets sent to the floor where she beats on Velvet a bit. Back in and the challenger puts on a figure four with her legs in a nice touch. An enziguri puts Love down again though and now the face slam works.

Velvet tries to help her friend but the champ dives on both of them in an awesome visual. They head inside again and it’s the Rayne Drop for two. Angelina’s Botox Injection (Brogue Kick) gets the same and the fit is thrown. Madison comes back with a spear but Velvet sprays her in the eyes with hairspray, allowing Love to roll Rayne up with a handful of tights for the pin and the title at 8:15.

Rating: C-. It’s a Knockouts match so you’ve seen the whole thing before at least a few times. Angelina winning the title again makes sense in storyline terms but it’s still nothing new. I don’t really care about the Beautiful People reunion as it feels like we’ve traveled back in time instead of doing something that might get people to care. That almost never works in wrestling, at least when the past act is the focus.

Angelina Love is pretty much the most dominant Knockout of all time and has had some really impressive success over the years. I’m not sure how much good she would have done in WWE, but she more than held her own in TNA and has managed to not get overshadowed by the more popular Sky. That’s more than can be said for most Knockouts and Love’s record for title wins is nothing to be overlooked.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: October 29, 2014
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Tonight is a big show for TNA as we have Bobby Roode vs. Lashley for the World Title and the two semi-finals matches in the tag team tournament. TNA is capable of throwing a lot of good wrestling at us and having a solid show when they cut out all the storyline nonsense. Granted at this point they need to worry about having a place to air their TV shows instead of what’s on them. Let’s get to it.

Lashley arrived earlier today. I wish regular companies praised you for showing up for your job.

We open with a recap of the first Lashley vs. Roode match. I’m not sure what I think about Roode losing the first time and potentially winning a rematch to even the series. There would be something to be said about a guy rising to make two unbeatable forces.

Tag Team Tournament Semi-Finals: Kenny King/MVP vs. Samoa Joe/Low Ki

King and Ki get things going with a quick wrestling sequence on the mat until Kenny sends him into the corner to take over. Ki takes him into a corner of his own and snaps off a chop before they circle each other again. Off to Joe vs. MVP with the Samoan cranking on a hammerlock but MVP rolls into a headlock to escape. Joe comes back with a legbar, sending MVP running into the ropes.

Ki gets another tag to face MVP but gets driven into the corner by King to give the heels control. That doesn’t last long though as a chop and snapmare get to for Ki and it’s back to Joe for some right hands. MVP pulls his partner to the floor for a breather so Low Ki just dives onto both of them to take over again. Back in and Ki kicks King in the chest for two but poses too long, allowing MVP to nail him in the back of the head.

We take a break and come back with MVP still in control without much having changed. Back to King for a spinning kick to the face and two with Joe making the save. Ki fights out of a double arm crank and hits a springboard spinning kick to the face (hands) for two on MVP but King gets a tag to keep Joe out.

Kenny works on the arms again for a few seconds until Ki just nails both guys with kicks and makes the hot tag. Joe cleans house and King taps to the Clutch in front of the referee but it doesn’t count for some reason. MVP makes the save as everything breaks down. Ki dives over the top onto MVP with a kick to the head, setting up the Clutch on King for the submission at 15:20.

Rating: C+. Nice match here but it never got to a level they were hoping for. I’d assume we’re setting up Joe vs. Ki again because that’s almost all the division is anymore. If nothing else we can always have a six man elimination mess that proves nothing but somehow tells us the division’s rankings before getting back to Joe vs. a challenger of the month named Low Ki again.

We recap Bram and Magnus attacking D-Von last week.

D-Von says Bram is just a punk. He likes a fight just as much as anyone and has something up his sleeve for Magnus. D-Von’s phone rings and his buddy is here.

Video on Roode vs. Lashley.

Here’s Bram who says he’s rewriting history. He’s going to destroy the brotherhood of hardcore and nothing is going to stop him. D-Von and Abyss’ time is up and it’s now Bram on top. He wants to call out his brother Magnus and here’s the other Brit to join in the fun. Magnus says they may not see eye to eye but they’re brothers due to the blood they’ve spilled. They’ve been disturbing the peace since they were kids and Bram’s potential can be unlimited.

Magnus is still the guy that broke the glass ceiling for the Brits and it’s their time. Bram says they’re going to make all the hardcore dinosaurs extinct but here’s D-Von to interrupt. He says the two guys in the ring are the only ones that believe everything they’re saying. Now it’s time for D-Von’s backup and of course it’s Tommy Dreamer. I mean, where would we be without Tommy Dreamer in 2014? The brawl is on and the Americans clean house.

Madison Rayne and Taryn Terrell don’t like each other but they’ll work together against the Beautiful People.

Shark Boy is annoyed that some kids interrupt his hot dog to request an autograph. Simon Diamond comes in to yell at him and wants the REAL Shark Boy back. Sharky says SHELL YEAH and leaves so a cameraman can ask Diamond if that’s possible. Diamond: “Of course not!”

Beautiful People vs. Madison Rayne/Taryn Terrell

Angelina and Madison get things going with a brief slugout until Taryn gets two off a swinging neckbreaker. Some drop toeholds put the Beautiful People down and a dropkick puts them down again. Terrell knocks them outside but Madison goes to throw them back in instead of tagging. She also watches Velvet trip Taryn to take over and doesn’t seem to mind all that much.

Terrell comes back with a double clothesline but Rayne drops down again instead of taking the tag. That’s fine with Taryn as \she cross bodies both Beautiful People, only to have Madison come in without a tag. She cleans house but nails Terrell and lays her out with the Rayne Drop. Madison walks out and the Beautiful People get the pin at 4:56.

Rating: D+. This was more about building up Terrell as a giant killer who can beat the Beautiful People by herself, but you can’t really have them lose to a single girl who has her partner turn on her. Terrell could be a big deal for the division if they give her the ball, even though it’s only a matter of time before we get back into the same cycle we’ve been stuck in for years on end.

Video on Lashley.

Angle promises to call it down the middle.

Tag Team Tournament Semi-Finals: Hardys vs. Ethan Carter III/Tyrus

Matt and Ethan trade hands to the face to start before Carter takes him down into the corner. It’s quickly off to Jeff for a middle rope splash after Matt takes Ethan down with a suplex. A headscissors puts Carter down again and there’s Poetry in Motion, followed by the Side Effect for two. Tyrus gets the tag to clean house and Matt is in trouble. It’s back to Carter to slam Matt face first into the mat before Tyrus slaps on a nerve hold.

Carter comes back in almost immediately with a chinlock of his own before mocking Sting in the corner. Matt kicks him away though and makes the hot tag to Jeff. The more famous Hardy destroys Ethan with the usual as everything breaks down. Tyrus comes in off the tag and nails a double clothesline, only to miss a middle rope splash. The Twisting Stunner and Twist of Fate set up the Swanton to give Matt the pin at 7:06.

Rating: C-. This was fine with the power heel destroying the smaller guys but the teamwork and experience coming back to win at the end of the day. The Hardys are going to be in any major match like this because they’re the Hardys and one of the best teams ever, so I’m not sure what the benefit is to have Tyrus lose this early.

Ethan blames Tyrus for the loss.

James Storm says the Revolution expands tonight.

Lashley is getting ready.

The Revolution is in the ring and Storm says there’s always a calm before the storm. TNA needs to listen to him: the storm is very close. Sanada and Manik were lost on their own but now they preach his gospel. They want another now and that man is Davey Richards. This brings out Davey on his own (with no belt) but he isn’t all that talkative.

Storm says Davey is in a great tag team, but he’s (Storm) been in several great tag teams of his own. His partners let him down though, so Davey needs to join the team so that will never happen. Cue Edwards to say this isn’t something Davey should listen to because Storm is out of his mind. Richards takes the mic away and says he can speak for himself. Eddie says Storm is crazy and wants to fight right now. He slaps James’ face and we have a match.

James Storm vs. Eddie Edwards

Edwards nails a kick to the head to start but he stops to look at Davey, allowing Storm to nail a running shot in the corner to take over. James hammers away with forearms but charges into a boot to the face. An over the shoulder Stunner out of the corner gets two on James but he comes back with a DDT to plant Edwards.

Richards is looking conflicted as Storm stalks Edwards. A mic shot to Edwards’ head misses and Eddie grabs a rollup for two. Edwards dives on Storm as Manik goes over and whispers to Richards. That earns Manik a baseball slide but Davey gets up to yell, allowing James to hit the Last Call for the pin at 5:11.

Rating: C. This is an interesting story as there’s only so much left for the Wolves to do in the division. They’ve dominated the whole thing all year so what else do they have to prove? It’s better to build up another story than to just have the same boring ideas that they’ve done for years so at least it’s fresh.

TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Bobby Roode

They have a ton of time for this, Lashley is defending and Kurt Angle is guest referee. MVP and King are nowhere in sight. Lashley powers Bobby into the corner to start and easily takes him down with an amateur move. A hard shoulder to the ribs has Roode in even more trouble but Bobby comes back with a clothesline and tells Lashley to bring it on. The champ is all fired up but his clothesline is countered into the Crossface, sending Lashley out to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Lashley holding a reverse wasitlock until Bobby fights up with forearms. A quick Blockbuster gets two but Roode charges into a spinning spinebuster. Lashley ducks another shot but clotheslines Angle (first time he’s meant anything in the match) by mistake. The Roode Bomb is countered and Lashley nails the spear with no one to count the pin. Another spear hits Angle to knock him to the floor, allowing Roode to enziguri Lashley to the floor.

Bobby follows and avoids a spear, sending a ring attendant flying. A Roode Bomb on the ramp puts both guys down but there’s still no Angle to count anything. Instead Brian Hebner comes in to count the near fall and Bobby is frustrated. Lashley hits Roode low and gets the belt but Hebner says no.

That earns him a knockout clothesline, allowing Lashley to hit Roode with the belt. Angle comes in to count two and is finally back to his feet. The Roode Bomb is countered and Lashley snaps Bobby’s throat across the top rope. Another attempt is countered into a sunset flip attempt but Roode falls on top for the pin and the title at 17:49.

Rating: B. The match got going near the middle but I really don’t see why Angle needed to be out there. Any regular referee could have played his role to the same degree but maybe they’re setting up Lashley vs. Angle down the line? The important part though is Roode being made into a bigger deal than he was before, but now he needs to have a very solid title reign to make it even better. TNA is really needing a top face and if Roode is that guy then so be it.

The announcers mention a rematch clause as the show ends.

Overall Rating: B-. TNA is actually starting to click, which means it must be time for a disaster sooner than later. This episode was all about one match which delivered so it’s almost an automatic success. The tournament matches were good enough and the Revolution stuff continues to intrigue me. Good show this week as TNA is starting to make things interesting again.

Results

Samoa Joe/Low Ki b. Kenny King/MVP – Koquina Clutch to King

Beautiful People b. Madison Rayne/Taryn Terrell – Both Beautiful People pinned Terrell after a Rayne Drop from Rayne

Hardys b. Ethan Carter III/Tyrus – Swanton Bomb to Tyrus

James Storm b. Eddie Edwards – Last Call

Bobby Roode b. Lashley – Cradle

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Time for someone a little easier on the eyes: Velvet Sky.

Velvet got her start as Talia Madison back in 2003. Here’s a rarity from Heat on July 17, 2005.

Talia vs. Victoria

Yeah there actually used to be Diva squash matches. Lillian calls Talia Ta-Lee-Uh. Talia jumps over her to start and snapmares her down for two. A handshake earns Talia a headbutt and a hair toss across the ring. Off to a chinlock on Talia before she fights up (and loses some of her pants) and nails a high cross body, only to have Victoria rolls through for two. Victoria powerbombs her out of the corner for two but the Widow’s Peak is enough for the pin.

It’s off to TNA in 2007 and we’ll pick things up at Turning Point 2007.

Roxxi Leveaux/ODB vs. Velvet-Love Entertainment

Velvet-Love is of course the Beautiful People and this is their debut match as a team. They’re nice here. Well I think they are at least. Velvet looks totally different here and not in a good way. She’s still hot but nothing compared to what she would become. Velvet vs. Roxxi starts us off but Velvet is scared so here’s Angelina instead. ODB comes in and spanks her so Velvet rides her around. We’re in a comedy match as ODB wants the referee to spank her.

Roxxi beats on Velvet for a bit and it’s off to ODB again. She stands on Velvet’s crotch and this match needs to end quickly. Now we get a series of spots based around ODB’s crotch. Sky escapes and it’s the not as hot as my partner tag to Love. Everything breaks down and a combination bicycle kick/Russian legsweep beats Roxxi.

Rating: F. Velvet looks a lot less hot with long hair and with a lack of makeup. On top of that, this was a “comedy” match but it wasn’t funny. Don’t you love it when that’s what winds up happening in these things? I still don’t get the appeal of ODB at all, but she keeps getting signed for some reason along with Jackie.

Another six Knockouts tag at Slammiversary 2008.

ODB/Roxie/Gail Kim vs. Beautiful People/Moose

Moose is a chick that is almost as tough as Kong and is the mascot of the Beautiful People. She broke her leg in a hardcore match in an indy company and hasn’t been seen in TNA since. The Beautiful People leave Moose in the ring and she gets triple teamed. Roxie has the really short haircut here due to losing a match at Sacrifice. Gail and Moose officially start us off.

And make that Roxie as everything breaks down quickly. The Beautiful People try to leave but Gail and ODB don’t let them. Moose gets a flapjack for two. Off to Velvet who likes being on top of Roxie. The heels take over on Roxie and Moose hits a bad looking TKO for two. Velvet puts on an Octopus Hold and bites the hand at the same time. Hot tag to Gail who cleans house, putting all three chicks down and hitting a top rope cross body on Velvet for two.

Angelina takes out Kim’s bad knee and the heels take over again. They must have some time to work with here. Love works over the knee and my goodness we have psychology in a match involving breasts. Edit: breasts that don’t belong to Joe. They really are better than the Divas. Half crab goes on for a bit to work on the leg more. Moose comes in for a bridging Indian deathlock as Gail is in trouble.

There’s a Brock Lock (over the shoulder leg bar) but Gail gets the rope again. The referee is in a bowtie and shorts. That’s quite a look. Gail finally breaks free and there’s ODB off a tag. Thesz Press gets two on Moose and it breaks down again. ODB picks Moose up and hits a British Bulldog style powerslam for the pin.

Rating: C+. I liked this and the knee work was a nice touch. Gail has a bad knee coming in and the announcers pointed it out so it’s not like it was hard to miss. Little things like that one can add up a lot of points in a match and this is a good example of it. That made sense for the heels to go after and they did, showing some thinking which is a big part of psychology.

Same idea again at Final Resolution December 2008. Yeah there were two Final Resolutions in 2008.

ODB/Taylor Wilde/Roxxi vs. Beautiful People/Sharmell

If the heels win the Beautiful People get Booker’s locker room. Is there a reason why Cute Kip had to mess the entrance up? I’ve never quite gotten the appeal of ODB, but then again I don’t think anyone else really did either. This is back when Wilde was still definitively hot so at least there’s that going for this match. ODB cleans house to start as we need a heel here.

Angelina vs. Roxxi starts us off officially. And so much for the match as we need to talk about Mafia vs. Frontline. Joe isn’t trustworthy apparently. I’m stunned too. Roxxi cleans house as it’s more or less the dominant ones vs. the not dominant ones. The Beautiful People go down so it’s up to Sharmell now. Kip comes in instead so it’s him vs. ODB for a second until the Beautiful People are back up again.

This has been going about three minutes and it already needs to end quickly. The heels take over for a bit and Sharmell does the standard heel thing of only coming in when her rival if you can call ODB that is down. Wilde comes in and this continues to be completely uninteresting.

Everything goes nuts again and Sharmell, like an idiot, goes after ODB when she’s not dead and I think you know what’s coming here. Kip of course comes in for the save and that gets us nowhere as ODB chases Sharmell away. Yes, the whole point of the match was that beatdown and it never even happens. Wilde rolls through a cross body by Angelina to get the pin.

Rating: D-. This was boring as all goodness and the ending went completely against the story which I’d assume would be settled on Impact. Instead of having the match be about revenge it became about possession of a locker room. That makes perfect sense doesn’t it? It is TNA after all.

Four in a row at Destination X 2009.

Beautiful People vs. Roxxi/Taylor Wilde/The Governor

Yes, the Governor is the Sarah Palin character that Daffney played. What is up with TNA being all political? There are still three Beautiful People at this point: Angelina, Velvet and Madison. At least Wilde looks good here. Governor (in a pantsuit) vs. Velvet to start. The fans chant yes we can because the Orlando fans are rather annoying.

Off to Roxxi and then to Taylor. The non-beautiful ones are tagging in really fast here. Apparently Madison is just now an official member of the BP. Velvet locks in an Octopus Hold to Roxxi who escapes and kicks her in the face. Sign: “Botchmania 71 = this match.” It’s pretty clear the fans aren’t that into this but that’s to be expected.

It’s one of those matches where stuff is happening but there isn’t anything to talk about. Taylor is called the upset queen still despite that being like two years prior to this. Taylor comes in and cleans house as this is one of the least interesting matches I’ve seen in years. Everything breaks down and the Governor dives over the top to the floor to take out everyone not named Madison on the other team. Madison gets caught in a bridging German by Wilde to end this.

Rating: D. What the heck was the point of this? You hear the term “TV match” a lot and this is the definition of one. Nothing at all about this match implies that it should be on a PPV in the slightest and yet here it is, opening the show. You can tell a lot about a PPV and how much effort is put into it by the opener and this one was awful. No one cared, nothing happened and it was short. Weak match indeed and I’m not looking forward to the rest of this show at all now.

Six Knockouts tag #5 at Turning Point 2009.

Knockout Title/Knockout Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. ODB/Taylor Wilde/Sarita

All titles on the line here and the non-beautiful people are champions. No word on how the titles are split up if one of the three pins a tag champion (Wilde/Sarita). You know I wonder what ODB stands for. I think I’ll see what I can come up with (and spare me the comments saying what it stands for. I know already and I need something to get me through this match). The Beautiful People here are Velvet, Lacey and Madison here. Velvet vs. Wilde to start us off but it’s off to Sarita quickly. Ok make that Department of Bacon. We’re less than a minute in and they’ve all been in already.

Headbutt to the ribs gets two for Date of Birth. Madison comes in and does the touch yourself and burn your finger thing. Instead here though she has to go over to the corner and has Velvet blow on it. I guess men and women both want to be blown by her. The delay allows Original Daniel Bryan to bring in Sarita to fight Madison. The tag champions set up a double team moonsault (belly to back release into a moonsault by Taylor) for two.

Madison takes over and it’s off to Madison. After mounting Wilde she throws on a chinlock for about 2 seconds and hammers away a bit more. The fans say Lacey can’t wrestle so we’re back off to Velvet. Octopus hold goes on for a few seconds so the announcers can make Inoki jokes. An elbow breaks the hold and it’s cold tag to Board of Directors. After a fallaway slam to Velvet everything breaks down. They triple team Operation Break Dance which fails completely. TKO ends Madison.

Rating: D. Weak match here that had no point at all being on the PPV. This is what Impact is for: six minute matches with hot women doing nothing of note for the entire match. Also, is there a reason to keep the titles on there? Oxford Dictionary of Britain doesn’t get us anywhere as champion. Angelina would be back soon which helped the division a lot. Anyway, weak match.

Regular tag at Lockdown 2010.

Knockout’s Title/Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. Tara/Angelina Love

Ok so it’s your standard two singles wrestlers vs. tag champions. You know the rules I’m sure. Yep Tara is gorgeous. Velvet and Angelina start us off. Taz is rather annoying on commentary to say the least. Some nice double teaming from the BP there. Make jokes amongst yourselves. Tara pulls an Angle and totally misses a moonsault. Good to see that the accuracy is there still.

Angel is better in the ring than she’s given credit for. Madison takes the Widow’s Peak but Velvet makes the save. Lacey gets in somehow and drills Tara in the head with a belt to give Madison Rayne the Knockout’s Title. So that’s two straight title changes with the champion not getting pinned. Ok then. I do love the BP being the focus of the division. That’s intelligent and not sarcastic actually.

Rating: C-. Not terrible actually. Love is underrated in the ring and Tara is always solid. The booking is right here and we don’t get the wacky tag partners which is never any good. I’m rather happy for the first near hour of this show. I must be coming down with something. They need to stop putting all of the titles on the line in one match though. Spread that stuff out if they’re so important to you.

We actually have a singles match! From No Surrender 2008.

Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky

Madison in leather is something I could get used to. Tara interferes almost immediately as Rayne goes for the head of Sky to start.. Knees to the crotch of Madison makes Taz wonder if that would hurt.

Are there any Knockouts other than the BP and Tara? If there are they never appear on TV. Tara goes for the helmet but Love makes the save. And then Velvet just gets a DDT to get the win. It was as abrupt as it sounds.

Rating: D. This just didn’t do it for me. It was on the exact level as a Divas match with very little wrestling but then again who cares about that when you have someone like her? That was only half sarcasm mind you. The division has more or less died over this year and it didn’t get any better here. Pretty bad match.

Off to Impact on November 4, 2010.

Sarita vs. Velvet Sky

Sarita continues to be incredibly sexy though Velvet is of course no slouch either. This is about the six girl match last week. Ok that makes sense. Decent little rana by Sky gets no cover as we head to the mat. And let’s talk about Bischoff now. WEAK chops in the corner by the Beautiful one. DDT is blocked by Sarita as the fans finally wake up a bit for a bad clothesline from the Mexicanadian. This is rather sloppy.

We touch on Lacey training Tessmacher as nothing special is happening at all here. Tenay and Taz complain about even more stuff which I didn’t think was possible. I get that the match sucks but could they try a bit harder at least? Another DDT is blocked and Velvet is sent to the floor. Tiger Bomb by Sarita gets the pin.

Rating: D. Weak match here with all kinds of sloppiness. Naturally the announcers said nothing of note at all other than some very basic play by play. This at least had some continuity in there but there wasn’t much going on at all. Sarita is at least a fresh heel out there which is something the division was dying for. This was rather bad though.

And again on Impact, June 16, 2011 for another title match.

Knockout Tag Titles: Velvet Sky/Miss Tessmacher vs. Sarita/Rosita

Sarita and Velvet start us off. Mexican America has been sent to the back apparently. Velvet sends her flying and it’s off to Rosita and Tessmacher. The challengers dominate for awhile so it’s off to Sarita again. This is your standard Knockouts match, in that they’re nice to look at but at the same time it’s a lot of yelling and not much on the wrestling. Tessmacher looks incredible in those little shorts but she can’t wrestle that well at all. Everything breaks down but as the challengers want a double suplex, here’s ODB to distract Velvet. The champs double team Tessmacher and a flip splash by Rosita gets the pin at 3:52.

Rating: D. Nothing of note at all here as the whole thing was just to set up more ODB vs. Velvet which is nothing interesting in the slightest. The girls aren’t incredibly good in the ring but they’re trying at least. They needed someone in there to anchor this match and it hurt things a lot.

For the other title at Bound For Glory 2011.

Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky vs. Winter vs. Mickie James

Winter, a kind of lesbian vampire who might be sleeping with Angelina, is defending. No real story here other than a bunch of qualifying matches put together by Knockouts Boss Karen Jarrett. Karen is refereeing here too. We have tags again here so it’s Mickie vs. Winter to get things going. The champ grabs an armbar to start before James comes out of the corner with a headscissors and neckbreaker for two.

Madison comes in with what looks like a handkerchief to Mickie’s face as Karen keeps screeching. Velvet comes in with some facebusters to Madison but Karen is busy tying her shoe. Everything breaks down for a second as Madison and Winter get in an argument. Karen tells the two of them to go fight Mickie and Velvet so we have a double tag. Mickie suplexes Velvet but Karen won’t tag to reenforce what we already knew.

The girls get frustrated at the refereeing before slugging it out. Winter and Madison trip them to the floor, earning them a beating back inside. The champ cleans house until Mickie comes in to take her out. Jarrett yells even more so Winter sprays her blood in Karen’s eyes. The MickieDT plants Winter as Traci comes out to take over. Velvet hits In Yo Face on Madison for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. This was REALLY annoying as there was almost no structure or flow to it. Most of the match was spent on Karen, meaning the big moment of Velvet finally winning the title barely meant anything. The wrestling didn’t get any focus because the whole thing was about the annoying referee. I understand that was the point back in the day, but it really doesn’t hold up.

Throw the girls in a cage! From Lockdown 2012.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky

No pigeons again and Tazz is upset. Her outfit is different this week as it’s more like a skirt. Madison comes out with Gail. Velvet grabs a fast rollup for two but Gail hits her in the back to take over. Velvet fires off some shots but Gail knocks her back, hitting a missile dropkick for two. More back work in the form of a backbreaker with the bending over the knee by Gail before she moves on to a knee lock, bending it around her own head.

Gail hooks something like a dragon sleeper which is countered by a jawbreaker. She misses a charge in the corner but Velvet is down too. Flying headscissors puts Gail down but she pops up to try and climb out. Velvet follows her up for some knees on the top rope. She looks for In Yo Face but settles for a sunset bomb for two instead. Madison starts yelling at Velvet as Gail tries to escape. Sky notices and tries an O’Connor Roll which is reversed into a rollup by Gail with tights for the pin at 7:27.

Rating: C-. Not the worst match ever but they’re not doing anything to help this already bad crowd. Gail keeps the title here, which I can live with because there was very little build for Velvet, but they need someone to breathe some life into this division. Gail and Madison has been played but it didn’t get mentioned at all here for the most part.

We’ll jump ahead a bit to Impact on February 21, 2013.

Knockouts Title: Velvet Sky vs. Gail Kim vs. Miss Tessmacher vs. Tara

Tara is defending and this is under elimination rules. Brooke Hogan gets to be ringside because what would a segment be without her? The bell will be after this break. Jesse is ejected by Brooke and we’re ready to go. We get a bunch of quick rollup attempts but no pins early on. Tessmacher tries a victory roll on Tara but gets caught in an electric chair to send her out to the floor. Things settle down a bit and Tara hits the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Sky, only to have the pin broken up by Gail. Why would she do that?

Now Tara and Gail go at it but Gail is sent to the floor for a bulldog from Tessmacher. Velvet and Tessmacher ping pong the champion back and forth with punches but Tara fights back. A moonsault hits Tessmacher but Velvet grabs Tara and hits In Yo Face, only to be broken up by Gail. Kim steals the pin on Tara to eliminate her, guaranteeing us a new champion.

Tessmacher hits a kind of spinning neckbreaker on Gail but goes up and gets crotched. Gail loads up a superplex put Velvet adds a powerbomb to make it a Tower of Doom. Velvet covers both opponents for two so she tries In Yo Face on Gail. Tessmacher tries to roll up Sky but Velvet rolls through it and covers Tessmacher for the elimination. We’re down to Velvet vs. Gail.

Sky pounds away to start but misses a dropkick to stop her momentum cold. Kim tries a cover but gets caught grabbing the ropes like a good villain should. Some shoulders in the corner miss and Velvet grabs a pretty sloppy sunset flip for two. In Yo Face hits this time and Velvet wins the title at 8:35.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but at the end of the day, what difference does this really make? Velvet is another person that happens to hold the title now. She’ll probably hold it for about three months before dropping it back to Tara or Gail and the cycle starts all over again. That’s the problem with the women’s divisions in both companies: they’ve been going around in circles for years.

Here’a non-cage match at Lockdown 2013.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky

Velvet is defending. Feeling out process to start until the champion hooks a flying headscissors to put Gail down. A neckbreaker gets two for Velvet and she sends Gail to the floor. Back inside Kim gets a quick rollup for two and there’s a running shoulder to the champion’s ribs. Gail gets her in a fireman’s carry and slams her down for two before arguing with referee Terryn Terell. An attempt at a headscissors out of the corner is easily countered by Velvet into a mat slam for no cover.

Some clotheslines and elbows put Kim down again as does a bulldog. A reverse DDT gets two for Velvet and Gail is staggered. As she gets up she grabs Terell, allowing Gail to hit Eat Defeat for two. Gail shoves Terryn in the corner before slapping her, begging to be disqualified. Instead Terryn spears Gail down and beats her up, allowing Velvet to hit In Yo Face for the pin at 7:38.

Rating: D. I do not like women’s wrestling. Terrell looks GREAT in the little black shorts and that’s all I’ve got here. Oh and Gail Kim is perhaps the least interesting human being on the face of this planet. Therefore, let’s make sure to push her to the freaking moon and back for years on end.

Off to One Night Only at Joker’s Wild II.

Lei’D Tapa/Gail Kim/Alpha Female vs. Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne/ODB

Just a filler here in an elimination match. Tapa imitates Velvet’s entrance to a ton of booing but Velvet calms the people down by doing it again. Sky charges at Tapa but is lifted in the air for a choke. Off to Gail for a clothesline but she gets caught by Madison’s mat humper. Gail spanks Tapa for some reason and yells at her for not having her back. The announcers talk about having spotted dick at lunch today and the match just keeps going.

Alpha comes in for a slam and some forearms to Madison’s chest. She misses a bad looking splash though and it’s back to Velvet who finally knocks Alpha down. Madison and Gail fight to the floor as Velvet bulldogs Alpha down. Chris Sabin comes out to distract the referee though and gets in an argument with Velvet. Sky low bridges him to the floor, kicks Alpha in the head and hits In Yo Face for the elimination.

Gail rolls Velvet up for a fast pin but the referee is with Sabin and misses Madison spearing Gail down. Tapa runs Madison over for an easy pin and we’re down to Gail/Tapa vs. ODB. The numbers game quickly catch up to her but Gail wants to get the glory. Tapa gets tired of it and shoves Gail into a rollup to get us down to one on one. Gail nails Tapa and ODB hits the Bam for the final pin.

Rating: D. There was no reason at all for this to be elimination rules. There were a few too many things going on here but they still could have wrapped the whole thing up in a single fall. It also doesn’t help that all of these stories have already been wrapped up two months before this show aired.

We’ll wrap things up with the newly reformed Beautiful People and their new boyfriends the BroMans on Impact, September 10, 2014.

BroMans/Velvet Sky vs. Menagerie

The BroMans now have the Beautiful People with them. The Freak is on the floor for this one. Steeve chases Robbie around to start and it’s quickly off to Jesse. Knux comes in with a cartwheel and a big slam before it’s back to Steeve. Robbie gets in a right hand on the floor as DJZ is running around like a crazy man.

Velvet comes in for some slaps before it’s back to Jesse who immediately tags Robbie. Rebel comes in to face Velvet but the BroMans break up a sunset flip attempt. Knux runs both of them over with a cross body, leaving Steeve against Velvet. Sky gets kissed and Steeve dives onto all three BroMans. Rebel slams her down but gets distracted by Angelina, allowing Velvet to roll her up with a handful of trunks for the pin at 4:40.

Rating: D. I’m in the minority but I actually like the Menagerie. Steeve continues to be worthless but at least Knux is good and Rebel is gorgeous. The BroMans hooking up with the Beautiful People is a decent enough idea and will probably lead to some decent jokes down the line. The wrestling wasn’t great but the expectations for this weren’t exactly high coming in.

Velvet Sky is a simple formula: a good looking woman in tight outfits who can wrestle a decent enough match. Her matches aren’t all that great but it’s not like that was ever the purpose in the first place. TNA tried to make it out to be a big deal when she won the Knockouts Title but it didn’t really work out all that well. Still though, she’s nice to look at and that’s the point of women’s wrestling more often than not.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: June 12, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Slammiversary and the big story is of course a war between Dixie Carter and MVP because where would we be without the focus being on Dixie? The problem with Impact’s taping schedule rears its head again tonight and this weekend though as MVP is injured and may not be able to go on Sunday, so everything tonight may mean nothing at all. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video narrated by MVP, talking about how he’s risen to power.

Here’s Eric Young in gear to open the show. Young says this Sunday is the biggest match of his career but he wants to say something to the trio in person. MVP comes out and explains that he and Dixie don’t see things the same so Eric has MVP’s undivided attention. Eric is ready for Sunday but MVP says he’s still half man and half amazing, so after he takes the title on Sunday, Eric can go back to fishing.

After the plug for Young’s fishing show, Eric asks that Sunday be a fair fight. MVP likes the idea but he can’t guarantee that Lashley and King can control themselves. Young says he has no problem with losing a fair fight, but getting beaten down three on one isn’t wrestling. He’s willing to do anything to make sure it’s even on Sunday and MVP likes the sound of that.

Young can pick the stipulation on Sunday, if Eric can beat all three of them in one night. King says Eric couldn’t beat two of them but Eric is ready to try. MVP is willing to give Eric a break and says Eric can pick the stipulations if he wins 2/3. The deal is made and it’s Lashley up first.

Eric Young vs. Bobby Lashley

Eric hammers away to start but gets drilled with forearms in the corner. A backdrop puts Bobby down but Eric comes back with a running forearm that appeared to mostly miss. Young avoids a charge in the corner but does a Flair Flip into the sliding sunset flip. Lashley will have none of that though and launches Eric to the floor.

Eric is sent into the steps and comes up holding his back. Lashley is no idiot and puts on a torture rack followed by an over the shoulder backbreaker. Young punches his way out and nails a nice dropkick before stopping a charging Bobby with two boots in the corner. He jumps off the corner into the Dominator powerslam though and Lashley gets the pin at 5:11.

Rating: D+. Basic match here and I already don’t like the booking here. Young went from fresh to pinned clean in less than six minutes three days before a PPV title defense. You have Young beat King before this match and then have him lose to Lashley to protect him and get the same result. Why is that so hard?

Lashley goes after Young again but Samoa Joe makes the save.

Willow says he’s bruised but not broken. He’ll turn the tide tonight because patience is on vacation.

Eric Young can’t stand up but says he has to go back out there.

Samoa Joe says this is the latest sign of a problem with MVP.

Here are Bram and Magnus in street clothes with something to say. Bram talks about how Magnus was treated so badly and turned into someone Bram didn’t know. Magnus says he and Bram are unstoppable and they’ve made Jeff Hardy so scared that he’s gotten a new identity. Willow comes out and says he’s from Jeff Hardy’s Imagin-I-Nation and says he goes where Jeff can’t.

Willow vs. Magnus is set for Sunday and Willow says they’ll (as in himself and someone else) will celebrate. Bram: “You and Jeff Hardy? YOU’RE THE SAME BLOODY PERSON!” Willow admits that he’s Hardy and says someone will be in his corner on Sunday. Bram asks who and it’s Abyss, who comes out to clean house.

Ethan Carter III says his aunt isn’t here tonight but he’ll take care of the family business. They’re the Carters after all.

Robbie E. vs. Knux

The comedy story continues as Robbie is terrified of clowns, including Crazy Steve at ringside. Robbie hits on Rebel but The Freak easily chases him off. Robbie’s right hands are stopped by a Steve distraction, allowing Knux to hit a nice running cross body. E. comes back with a nice middle rope clothesline but DJZ and Steve get in a horn off. Knux splashes Robbie in the corner as the Freak takes care of the other Bro Mans. Back in and a nice Sky High pins Robbie at 3:09.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but that Sky High was really nice, as was Rebel. At the end of the day, the division needs challengers for the Wolves but one of the few teams is being wasted in this comedy feud. To be fair though, the Bro Mans are comedy characters so what else do you expect?

Post match Steve attaches balloons to Robbie’s back to freak him out.

EC3 and Spud are talking in the back when Brooke returns. She doesn’t say anything but she returns.

Ethan and Spud are in the ring with three chairs set up. Ethan brings out Brooke as he plans on exposing the past sins of Bully Ray. He asks Brooke if she was in a relationship with Ray and asks why it’s over. Carter accuses Ray of being an alcoholic and trying to put Brooke through a table but Brooke denies it. Spud says he can’t deal with this anymore because he has the results. Apparently Ray IS the father, even though Brooke hasn’t had a baby. Spud produces pictures of Ray next to an angry looking kid but Ethan is annoyed. He threatens Brooke until Ray comes out and runs them off.

Before he deals with Carter and Spud, Ray wants to apologize to Brooke. He treated her horribly despite her being an amazing girlfriend. Now Ray is in a better place in his life and wants to wish Brooke the best. They hug and Ethan sounds like he’s gagging. Ethan and Ray argue for a bit until Ethan challenges Ray to a tables match on Sunday, because Ray is putting Dixie through a table over Ethan’s dead body. Ray loves the idea of a dead body and starts a chant about it, but he’ll decline the tables match. Instead, since we’ll be in Carter Country in Dallas, let’s make it a Texas death match. Ethan says it’s on.

MVP tells Kenny King to keep focused out there tonight.

Kenny King vs. Eric Young

Second match in Young’s 2/3 challenge tonight. Young gets armdragged down to start and his back is already bothering him. They head to the floor with the champion in even more trouble. Back in and Young shoves him off the top, only to get slammed down for his troubles. Young avoids a springboard Swanton Bomb and nails the piledriver out of nowhere for the pin at 5:12.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and the outcome was already completely clear. I still don’t get why this wasn’t in another order, but it’s TNA so this isn’t the biggest problem that they have to deal with. It also doesn’t help that the fans are already sick of seeing the same people over and over again and now they get to see the same guy three times in one night.

Eric says he’ll keep fighting.

Brittany vs. Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim

Winner gets Angelina on Sunday. Brittany and Madison double team Gail to start but Madison won’t high five her. Gail dropkicks both of them to the floor and does it again through the ropes. Cue the Beautiful People as we take a break. Back with the Beautiful People on commentary and Madison hitting a headsicssors on Gail, followed by a slow motion victory roll for two. Gail puts a leg choke on Brittany but gets caught in a cross armbreaker by Madison.

That makes Gail let go of her hold but she rolls Madison up for two. Kim goes up top but gets caught in a double superplex (with her thankfully kicking off the post to make it easier for them) to put all three down. Madison nails Brittany but gets sent to the floor as a result. Gail puts Brittany in the figure four around the post as the Beautiful People come out to ringside. Kim runs Brittany over as Angelina distracts the referee. Velvet sprays Brittany in the eyes by mistake, allowing Gail to hit Eat Defeat for the pin at 10:09.

Rating: D+. This gives us I believe the 284th title match between Angelina and Gail. That’s the problem with the entire Knockouts division as a whole: it’s the same core group of about five girls having the same feuds and the same matches over and over and over with only occasionally someone jumping into the division, getting a title run, then leaving it back to the core group. Just please find a new direction for the next 8 years so I don’t have to watch the Beautiful People vs. Gail/Madison again.

MVP is talking to Brian Hebner and says it’s going to be a fair main event.

We run down the PPV card. The only added match is King vs. Aries.

MVP vs. Eric Young

If Young wins he gets to pick the stipulation. Lashley and King jump Young in the aisle before the bell and we take a break about five seconds after the match starts. Back with MVP staying on Young’ sback and putting him in a camel clutch before just letting it go so he can get two off an uppercut. A wicked powerbomb gets two and a buckle bomb sets up the running boot to the face in the corner for a close two on the champion. MVP grabs a chair to sit in and talk some trash but Young is starting to get up. Instead MVP picks up the chair to blast Eric in the back for the DQ at 10:14.

Rating: C. The match made sense and at least they didn’t give it a clean finish. MVP being the cocky heel makes sense and going after the back as much as he did makes even more sense, but I’ve over this feud already. MVP almost has to win the title on Sunday, if nothing else to end this over done Eric Young title reign.

MVP says pick whatever stipulation you want and poses with the belt. The trio leaves and Young makes it a cage match to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was significantly better than most of their previous shows but it still had its issues. First and foremost, WAY too much Eric Young, which is another incarnation of the same issue they’ve been having time after time now: too much of the same idea, meaning that if you don’t like that one idea, there’s no need for you to watch the show. The stuff they had wasn’t terible and it set up the payoff at the end well enough, but I don’t really want to see Young for a fourth time in three days.

Other than that, the show wasn’t that bad and they did a good job of setting up the show on Sunday. That’s TNA in a nutshell: the payoff is usually decent, but man alive is it hard to get through the buildup. The wrestling was pretty standard tonight, but a lot of angles were advanced and you can see the logical matches coming on Sunday.

However, a five match card with a comedy match, a Knockouts three way and then three Eric Young matches (including the World Title match three days before the pay per view) doesn’t do it for me, especially when there were so many people (Aries, Anderson and Storm to be exact) that didn’t get any time tonight. Also the X-Division is having a multi man ladder match on Sunday and wasn’t mentioned at all here. That’s TNA for you: they do some ok stuff, but it’s at a bad expense of other stuff.

Results
Bobby Lashley b. Eric Young – Dominator
Knux b. Robbie E. – Sky High
Eric Young b. Kenny King – Piledriver
Gail Kim b. Brittany and Madison Rayne – Eat Defeat to Brittany
Eric Young b. MVP via DQ when MVP used a chair

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