Monday Night Raw – April 29, 2019: A Long Time Coming

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 29, 2019
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Commentators: Michael Cole, Renee Young, Corey Graves

It’s a homecoming show for me as Rupp Arena hasn’t hosted a Raw since 2010, which was the first Raw there since 2000. Since I live ten minutes from the arena, it was rather nice to not have such a long drive home. Now the problem with that is it was a long show, but that’s Raw for you. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

As you can tell, I was in the arena for the show, sitting in the upper deck opposite the hard camera. The crowd was the biggest I’ve seen for a Raw in Rupp perhaps ever, which says a lot as Rupp is one of the biggest arenas in the country. The upper deck wasn’t even entirely tarped off, which I never remember seeing.

Cole welcomes us to Rupp Arena from the University of Kentucky. It’s not on the campus, nor is it owned by the University but that hasn’t stopped WWE from saying the same wrong line over and over for years.

Here’s Alexa Bliss to announce the men’s Money in the Bank participants. After explaining the concept for the uninitiated, here are the participants: Braun Strowman, Ricochet (Kentucky boy), Drew McIntyre and Baron Corbin (Bliss: “He is the former acting General Manager of Monday Night Raw. Former Golden Gloves….you know I’m not going to list the rest of his accolades. It’s Baron Corbin.”).

Baron wastes no time in insulting the fans by promising to become a two time contract winner. Ricochet: “Or is that two time loser?” The insults abound, with McIntyre accusing Corbin of choking last week against AJ Styles as well. Corbin says it was because he didn’t have the chance to adequately rest between matches but McIntyre doesn’t want to hear it. He also doesn’t want to hear from Ricochet, who isn’t grown up enough for this.

McIntyre promises to drop Corbin and Ricochet where they stand but Strowman tells all of them to shut up. None of them can stop him, so let’s do the preview match right now. By preview, he means a match that has nothing to do with climbing a ladder, which is all Money in the Bank is about.

Baron Corbin/Drew McIntyre vs. Braun Strowman/Ricochet

Strowman still isn’t playing and blocks an early chokebreaker attempt. A clothesline puts Corbin on the floor for the middle rope moonsault from Ricochet as the fans give Ricochet quite the welcome home. Back in and Ricochet swings at McIntyre but a crossbody is countered into a suplex which is escaped as well, only to have McIntyre chop him down.

That’s enough for the villains to take over on Ricochet as we’re told about Bliss announcing the women’s participants later. Now that Graves is very happy, Corbin chokes away on the rope. The chinlock goes on because Corbin knows one style match and that includes a chinlock. Ricochet fights up for a clothesline and nipup into the dropkick but Corbin drops him again as we take a break.

Back with Ricochet still in trouble off a huge backdrop from McIntyre during the break. They head outside with Strowman chasing Corbin but running into the Claymore, with McIntyre seeming to bang himself up on the landing. Drew is fine enough to hit a heck of a clothesline on Ricochet and crank on the arm back inside. It’s back to Corbin, who gets kicked in the face and dropkicked for a bonus, allowing the hot tag to Strowman.

House is cleaned in a hurry but McIntyre avoids a charge to send Strowman shoulder first into the post (the ring shook). The Claymore is loaded up on Ricochet but Corbin tags himself in. That earns him a right hand from McIntyre, sending Corbin into Strowman’s powerslam. The shooting star press gives Ricochet the pin at 14:05.

Rating: C-. This was every Money in the Bank build match that you could have, with the faces and heels teaming together despite having no intentions to do so in the actual ladder match. Corbin and McIntyre already getting in a fight isn’t surprising, but Corbin holding up the briefcase again is looking more and more likely by the week.

Here are the Usos, who sing their own theme music in one of the best jobs of hyping up a crowd in a hurry.

Usos vs. Anderson and Gallows

During their entrances, Anderson and Gallows promise to lock the Usos up in their own penitentiary because they’re bullet proof. Jimmy runs Anderson over to start and a shot to the face gets two. It’s off to Jey, who slides over to taunt Gallows and then gets in a running elbow for two more.

Gallows comes in and gets knocked outside but is fine enough to block a suicide dive. Back in and Jimmy gets sent neck first into the middle rope for some quality writhing in pain. The beatdown is on and we take a break. Back with Anderson grabbing the chinlock and getting two off an elbow to the face. A belly to back suplex gives Gallows two but Jimmy uppercuts his way out of trouble.

The hot tag brings in Jey for a superkick and a Samoan drop, followed by the running Umaga attack in the corner. Jey misses a charge into the corner though and walks into the always good looking Anderson spinebuster for two. The Magic Killer is broken up and it’s double superkicks into the Superfly Splash to finish Gallows at 11:19.

Rating: C. I’ve been a big Usos fan for a long time so it’s cool to see them back on track over on the new show, but my goodness I could go for more from Anderson and Gallows. They’re good, they’re entertaining and they can work, yet they’re lucky to get a ten minute match once every few months. Would a few weeks long program be too much to ask?

Post match the Usos say put the kids to bed and cover grandma’s eyes, because we’ve got something special. We see a clip of Jey near the showers, where he films Dash Wilder shaving Scott Dawson’s back, which the fans don’t know how to accept. Back in the arena, the Revival comes out and say that since Dawson is a real man with big muscles, he needed some help. The Revival says there’s nothing wrong with that and they’ll come for the Usos after their match tonight. That’s cool with the Usos, who promise penitentiary time.

I was there the night the Revival debuted on the main roster and now I’m here when they’re in a feud over shaving back hair. That’s what tag team wrestling is to WWE these days: Hawkins and Ryder holding the titles, the War Raiders having three names in three weeks, and the Revival dealing with personal grooming. And you wonder why this division is considered death.

We look at Rey Mysterio losing to Samoa Joe in a minute at Wrestlemania. Their rematch is tonight. It’s non-title, so get Rey’s victory music ready now.

Here’s Miz for MizTV. Miz hypes up the crowd, saying he thought we had some Wildcats in here. He’s glad to be back on Raw with new challenges and new guests, starting with one tonight: Bobby Lashley. Miz starts his intro but Lashley cuts him off in the third person. We move on to Lashley’s untapped potential, with Lashley not wanting to hear about it because he’s a two time Intercontinental Champion since returning a year ago. But what has Miz done? Miz: “Bobby Lashley wants to go stat for stat with me?”

Miz says the old Miz would list off his accomplishments (which he does) but cuts himself off because we could be here for a long time. The fans seem to like that so Miz calls himself an overachiever. Miz: “Have you seen my wife?” Lashley brings up Shane McMahon attacking Miz’s father and the fight is on. Miz fights back and throws Lashley plus the chairs out of the ring. I think you know what’s next.

The Miz vs. Bobby Lashley

Joined in progress with Lashley hitting the delayed vertical suplex but Miz is right back with the kicks in the corner. Some running dropkicks connect as the referee gets the blood gloves. Cue Shane McMahon for a distraction but Miz clotheslines Lashley to the floor. A dropkick through the ropes drops Lashley and Miz stares Shane down. Shane charges the ring as Miz rolls Lashley up for two, followed by the short DDT for the same. The YES Kicks connect but Shane puts up a picture of Miz’s dad. That’s enough of a distraction for Lashley to hit the spear for the pin at 2:53.

Post match the double beatdown is on and Shane chokes Miz out as he looks at the picture of his father. Shane reiterates that he is the best in the world. This coming Thursday, it will be six months of this story. Six months of Miz vs. Shane McMahon. That’s all they can come up with for what is going to be over half a year over Shane winning a tournament in Saudi Arabia and then Miz’s horrible father. They deserve the backlash they get for this nonsense.

Post break, let’s take another look at what we just saw.

Viking Raiders vs. Lucha House Party

The House Party jumps them before the bell and it’s a springboard missile dropkick to rock Ivar. He’s fine enough to cartwheel away from a handspring elbow and it’s off to Erik as the Raiders take over. Erik drives Ivar into the corner to crush Metalik, setting up the Viking Experience for the pin on Kalisto at 1:54.

Post match Lince Dorado tries to avenge his buddies but gets caught in the German suplex/springboard clothesline combination.

Video on the IIconics.

Here’s Alexa Bliss to introduce the women’s Money in the Bank participants. First up is Natalya, who is proud to finally have a chance to be Raw Women’s Champion. Next up is Dana Brooke, who is tired of Natalya being handed everything. They get catty with each other until Alexa shuts them down. Naomi is third (giving us a FEEL THE BLISS graphic as the two graphics are up at once. That means another speech from Naomi about getting a chance but Bliss cuts them off again, saying they’re worse than the men earlier.

Bliss talks about the fourth woman getting the chance but no one can stop talking long enough for her to be given an opportunity. And it’s Bliss herself rounding out the field. Naomi wants to fight Bliss, who says she would, but she doesn’t want to. Bliss doesn’t even have the right shoes! Naomi: “I can beat you with my shoes on or off.” After the worst smack talking ever, Bliss agrees to the match.

It’s time for Firefly Fun House. Bray Wyatt is painting, because he loves to express himself and when you express yourself, no one can hurt you. Rambling Rabbit, a rabbit puppet that looks like he’s been beaten half to death, pops up and asks to see the picture. It’s of the Wyatt Compound burning, which doesn’t sit well with Rambling. Abby the Witch pops up (Bray: “YEOWWY WOWWY!”) and scared Rabbit off before saying Bray didn’t learn his lesson last time.

Bray assures her that is all in the past and that he’s sorry for what he did. The kids forgive him for what he did, which is enough for Abby, as long as Bray keeps it quiet while she sleeps. Bray calls her a sociopath and here’s Rabbit to ask if that’s the Word of the Day. Why yes it is, and Bray spells it for us, though he doesn’t define it. That’s all the time we have for today but remember: he’ll light the way and all you have to do is let him in. Just like last week this is really creepy, but I’m not sure how it’s going to work in the arena.

Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss

Joined in progress again with Bliss having to tie her shoes, allowing Naomi to kick her in the leg and hit a bulldog onto the middle buckle. The standing Stinkface (erg) sets up a splits splash for two on Bliss. Back up and Bliss takes her into the corner for some stomping and it’s off to a chinlock. Naomi fights up again and hits her dancing kicks but Bliss drops her again.

Hang on though as she needs to tie her shoes (Percy Femur’s favorite wrestler everyone). Naomi’s small package gets two so Bliss slaps on another chinlock to slow things down. The shoes flare up again so Naomi goes after Bliss, who loses both shoes in the process. Bliss sends her into the corner and yells about the shoes, only to walk into the Rear View. The split legged moonsault finishes Bliss at 6:01.

Rating: D. The shoes thing got a bit annoying but the bigger problem was how they couldn’t do much of anything out there because they kept getting in the way. Bliss being back in the ring is a good thing though as she’s certainly an upgrade over some of the women’s division. With so many moving over to Smackdown, she’s certainly one of the better choices on Raw.

Rey Mysterio wants to do better against Samoa Joe tonight to prove himself to his son Dominic.

Here’s Becky Lynch for a chat with Charly Caruso. After soaking in the BECKY TWO BELTS chants, Becky says that’s why she would do this. She had a hard journey to get here and that means she can either talk or fight. Becky only knows how to fight so of course that’s what she’s going to do. Never tell her the odds, because people told her she would never main event Wrestlemania, until she did. Then people said no one could beat Ronda Rousey, until Becky did it.

Her whole career has been a long shot but nothing has been an accident. You can talk about odds all you want, but she got where she is today by beating everyone. Charlotte has the pedigree but Becky has her numbers. As for Lacey Evans, she has a great right hand but it’s a mistake to punch someone who likes it.

We see a clip of Evans knocking Becky out last week so Becky wants to fight right now. Cue Evans, who says it’s just like a man to want what he wants when he wants it. Lacey is tired of these manners so the fight is on. Referees can’t break it up and agents can’t either as the fight is getting intense in a hurry. After several moments it’s finally broken up after a heck of a brawl in a very good segment.

Video on Make A Wish Day. Nothing wrong with that.

Revival vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

Non-title. Hawkins takes Dash down to start as the announcers are already talking about the back shaving stuff from earlier. Dawson gets in a cheap shot from the apron to put Ryder in trouble and it’s time for some hard elbow drops. The SHAVE YOUR BACK chants get on Dawson’s nerves so he grabs a front facelock. Dawson even mocks the fans with his own SHAVE YOUR BACK chant before kicking Ryder in the stomach. Ryder is fine enough to reverse Wilder’s suplex into a neckbreaker but Dawson is right there to knock Hawkins off the apron. That means a collision with Ryder though and a crucifix pins Dawson at 4:17.

Rating: D. So it was a squash until a fluke win for the champs, who were barely mentioned as the entire thing was about the Revival vs. the Usos. If WWE wants to go with that as the top feud on the show, that’s fine. Just get the titles onto one of them instead of having the champions look like the fourth most important team (at best) on the show.

Miz’s response to Shane: a challenge for a cage match at Money in the Bank. So once Miz wins there, where do they go for the tiebreaker?

Here’s Sami Zayn for a chat. Last week he talked about being on vacation and not being happy now that he’s back here. The other great thing about his time away was allowing himself to get back to things that interest him, such as history and psychology. That made him think about a concept called psychological entitlement, which is very appropriate for WWE fans.

For years, these people have been fed the lie that the customer is always right. Sami won’t even get into the economic and social reasons why that has been pounded into their heads because no one here will get it. The point is that everyone feels they are right and they should get everything they want. If they don’t get it, they’ll throw a fit right then and there. Last week at the airport at 4am, a father told his five year old to sign an action figure. Sami said no, but it didn’t make him feel good. He was already bothered by the fact that the kid had been taught that he got what he wanted.

After seventeen years and five star classics, Sami thought he had done enough already. That is the new dynamic: he’ll do what he wants and the fans will gladly take it. Recently people have been telling him to quit WWE if he hates it so much. That’s not going to happen, because nothing sounds more enjoyable than taking the fans in the palm of his hands. From now on, Sami is taking the power back. The promos are great, but I’m not sure where this is going.

Shane accepts Miz’s challenge.

Samoa Joe vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title. Before the match, Joe says he embarrassed Rey at Wrestlemania. If Rey was any kind of a father, he would have gotten his son a mask to hide his shame. Tonight, Rey is paying for costing Joe his title shot last week. Joe goes right at him to start and knocks Rey to the floor. The suicide elbow launches too early as Rey slides back in and hits the seated senton off the apron.

Rey’s sliding splash hits knees though and we take a break. Back with Joe grabbing a neck crank as we hear about Rey’s loss at Wrestlemania. Just have him pin Joe already because they’re making it as obvious as anything else. Rey fights up and hits the tornado DDT, followed by a 619 to the ribs. The regular 619 is blocked and Joe hits the release Rock Bottom out of the corner. Joe picks him back up but gets pulled into a rollup for the pin at 7:18. Joe didn’t even try to move during the pin and it looked horrible.

Rating: D+. What we got was good but the ending looked terrible and the Curse of the US Title continues to be a very real threat. I’m sure we’ll get a rubber match at Money in the Bank, because Joe choking him out in a minute on the biggest show of the year was just a starting point. Just let Joe (or whoever else gets saddled with the title) win something already, because this is nonsense.

Post match Dominic comes out to put Rey on his shoulders in a scene you don’t get very often.

It’s time for the contract signing between AJ Styles and Seth Rollins. Michael Cole starts the questioning by asking what a win would mean to AJ. That’s an easy one because the win is the reason AJ came here. He spent two years on Smackdown and he’s very grateful, but now it’s time to come where the really crazy fans are.

AJ has heard about Seth for two years and knows he’s a good guy, but AJ wants the Universal Title. When you want something bad enough, you’ll do some unexpected things to get it. The fans aren’t sure what to make of that so AJ goes back to the compliments by saying Seth is a winner and a champion. But how many times has it been said that Seth will be the new AJ? Not very many that I can think of, but AJ thinks it makes sense because Seth is stronger, faster and younger. Fans: “SHAVE YOUR BACK!”

The reality though is Seth will never be the next AJ Styles. Seth didn’t want to be though, because he would rather be the first Seth Freaking Rollins. The compliments are appreciated but things are different on Raw. That’s Michael Cole instead of Tom Phillips and the ropes are red. If AJ wants to take the title, he needs to be better than phenomenal.

AJ asks about Seth’s health after being a workhorse for all those months. Fans: “BURN IT DOWN!” AJ knows they’ll burn it down and then he’ll build it back up. Seth doesn’t know how much trouble he’s in because the Shield isn’t around to help him anymore. Yeah he went through a lot at Wrestlemania, but Seth doesn’t have much left.

AJ is ready to go now though and at Money in the Bank, he’s biting like a pit bull and not letting go until he’s Universal Champion. Styles signs and Seth starts talking about their differences. It’s true that AJ likes to build things up but Seth likes to burn things down. There is one thing that separates them though: Seth beat Brock Lesnar. That seems to get to AJ as Seth signs.

AJ picks up the title and slowly hands it over so Seth can hold it up. Fans: “SHAVE HIS BACK!” AJ jumps him instead and the fight is on with Seth kicking him out to the floor. There’s the suicide dive and Seth poses again, but it’s a shot to the head into the Phenomenal Forearm through the table to end the show.

This took some time to get going because they don’t have any reason to hate each other, but some of those lines from Seth ran deep. AJ seems to be playing heel here, and while that might not go full blast or last permanently, it’s an interesting way to go here. It’s also something AJ knows how to do, so we should be in for some quality stuff if that’s where they’re going.

Overall Rating: D. This was a rough one and it didn’t get much better watching it back. The wrestling ranged from annoying to bad and some of the stories feel like they’re trying to be way too jokey instead of serious with some not so funny acts. Couple that with a bunch of “I’M GOING TO WIN AND CASH IN THE BRIEFCASE BECAUSE IT’S MY TIME!” promos and this was a hard watch. It did have some good parts (contract signing, Becky vs. Lacey, Sami’s promo and the Viking Raiders) but the bad is far stronger here and given the direction of some stories, that’s going to be the case for a long time.

Results

Ricochet/Braun Strowman b. Baron Corbin/Drew McIntyre – Shooting star press to Corbin

Usos b. Anderson and Gallows – Superfly Splash to Gallows

Bobby Lashley b. The Miz – Spear

Viking Raiders b. Lucha House Party – Viking Experience to Kalisto

Naomi b. Alexa Bliss – Split legged moonsault

Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins b. Revival – Crucifix to Dawson

Rey Mysterio b. Samoa Joe – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – April 23, 2019: Maybe It Is Corbin

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 23, 2019
Location: Pinnacle Bank Arena, Lincoln, Nebraska
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re officially into the new era of Smackdown after last week’s brand split and believe it or not, Roman Reigns is the focal point of the show again. Last week saw Reigns attack Vince McMahon, which has started off rumors that he might be fired. In other words, it’s McMahon time again and that’s likely to be the case for the time being. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Shane McMahon to get things going. After making Greg Hamilton do the big intro, Shane wants to talk about Roman Reigns. We see the clip of Reigns hitting Vince last week, which is like disgracing the American flag or defacing Mount Rushmore (which Shane stumbles over). That man is a national treasure and it’s time for payback.

Shane lists off some options before saying that he’ll deal with Reigns right now in this ring. Reigns comes out and they both drop their mics. Cue Elias from behind and the beatdown is on. Drift Away leaves Reigns laying. Great. More McMahon Family Fun as Shane and Vince like each other again.

Post break Elias and Shane promise more to come for Reigns.

We look back at Kevin Owens becoming an honorary member of the New Day.

Kofi Kingston is proud to be WWE Champion and Owens comes in to shout a lot. He’s happy to be part of the team and wants to do them proud.

Finn Balor vs. Andrade

Non-title. During the entrances, Vega and Andrade say Balor can’t run and promises to extend Andrade’s legacy with the Intercontinental Title. A very early Vega distraction lets Andrade kick him to the floor, setting up a corkscrew dive to send us to a break. Back with Balor reversing a powerbomb into a DDT. The Coup de Grace is broken up so Balor gets in a sunset flip for two instead.

Andrade is sent outside and that means the running flip dive (good looking one too) to crush Andrade again. Back in and Andrade elbows him in the face, setting up the running knees in the corner for two. Vega tries to interfere with a high crossbody but Andrade catches her instead, allowing Balor to hit the shotgun dropkick into the corner. Now the Coup de Grace can finish Andrade at 7:51.

Rating: C+. This has been WWE telling you that their first match didn’t matter, as Balor should have no reason to face Andrade again. Now of course he will because we need a trilogy match between two people whose first two matches might have been fifteen minutes combined. Just make sure the title is on the line next time because losing to the champ gets you a title shot.

Elias sings a challenge to Roman for Money in the Bank. Shane pops up and likes the idea before they leave together.

Earlier today, Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville told Paige that they were above her now and Absolution wasn’t happening again.

Kairi Sane vs. Peyton Royce

Before the match, the IIconics declare Kairi and Asuka super lame-os instead of superheroes. Last week, Peyton only got pinned because she was dehydrated. Tonight though she’s had a whole GALLON OF WATER (Billie: “Really? A whole gallon?”) so she’s ready to give Kairi her first loss on Smackdown. Kairi kicks her in the arm to start and kicks Peyton in the back, setting up the Interceptor spear. The Sliding D in the corner sets up the Insane Elbow to finish Peyton at 1:35.

Post match Sonya and Mandy come out to applaud Kairi.

Aleister Black sits down in a dark room and says he won’t explain his tragic backstory. You’ll learn about him soon enough.

Jinder Mahal vs. Chad Gable

Mahal is another bonus Superstar Shakeup move. And never mind as Lars Sullivan jumps Gable from behind during his entrance. Mahal runs so Sullivan beats up the Singh Brothers. R-Truth runs in and tries to go after Sullivan but gets laid out as well. No match.

We look at the Shane/Reigns/Elias segment again.

Reigns accepts the Money in the Bank challenge.

Here’s Charlotte for a chat. She talks about the main event of Wrestlemania but there’s a problem: Ronda Rousey lost the Smackdown Women’s Title for her and now Becky is carrying it around without beating Charlotte. This brings out Becky, who says it was Winner Take All at Wrestlemania. Becky did what Charlotte couldn’t and now she’s Becky Two Belts. Charlotte laughs it off and says that every time Lacey Evans knocks her out, it’s Charlotte in her head.

They start talking over each other with Becky saying she wants fresh challengers but management keeps putting Charlotte in front of her. If Charlotte wants to work her way up, Becky can beat her again and still be Becky Two Belts. This brings out Bayley, who says Becky has never beaten her. Charlotte tells Bayley to get in the back of the line so Bayley calls her out for always getting title shots. Bayley slaps the mic out of her hand and says earn a title shot for a change.

Bayley vs. Charlotte

Bayley shoves her down to start and hits the running elbow to the back. That’s shrugged off and Charlotte chokes on the ropes, only to get rolled up out of the corner for two. A middle rope crossbody gives Bayley the same and she hits a running shoulder in the corner. Charlotte pops back up and goes after the knee as we take a break.

Back with Bayley kneeing her in the face but holding the knee in pain. Charlotte runs her over again but misses the moonsault. A belly to back gives Bayley two and the running elbow in the corner gets the same. Bayley gets pulled off the ropes but is fine enough to small package her way out of the Figure Eight for two. The spear finishes Bayley at 10:38.

Rating: C. Why yes, they did bring Bayley over to Smackdown to lose to Charlotte to set up another Becky vs. Charlotte match. I mean, they haven’t gone one on one on pay per view in over a month so it’s time to do the same thing all over again. Someone really needs to introduce WWE to the law of diminishing returns as it seems to be a very foreign concept.

Post match Becky says that she’ll give Charlotte a title shot at Money in the Bank, meaning she’s working twice that night.

We see the Firefly Fun House video, though they make sure to cut to a shot of the crowd watching it, just in case you started to get into what they were presenting.

Kofi Kingston vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Non-title, Rusev and Lana are at ringside and Owens and Woods have their own announcers’ table. Nakamura misses an early kick to the head and gets sent to the floor. Kofi teases a dive so Nakamura can get back in, where he takes Kofi down into a cross armbreaker. That’s switched into a cross armbreaker but Kofi stacks him up for two and the escape. Kofi’s top rope splash to the back gets two and a dropkick puts Nakamura on the floor again. A dive is cut off with a kick to the face though and Nakamura adds the knee drop off the apron.

Back from a break with Nakamura hitting more knees, followed by a kick to the head. They head outside with Nakamura kicking him out of the air for two as we go to New Day for more commentary. Kofi flips to his feet and goes to the middle rope but Nakamura hits the sliding German suplex to take him down again. Kinshasa is countered with the standing double stomp. Trouble in Paradise misses so Kofi settles for the SOS, drawing in Rusev for the DQ at 13:23.

Rating: B-. The ending wasn’t exactly in doubt as WWE isn’t about to push Nakamura into the World Title scene all of a sudden. Kofi not winning isn’t the biggest problem in the world as it’s basically a matter of time until he loses the title. Good match from two good workers, but what comes after is probably what really matters.

Post match Owens and Woods make the save with Woods being taken down. Owens cuts the nonsense and superkicks Kofi, setting up the big beatdown. He shouts that Kofi’s kids better have had a good time because Owens is coming for the title. Kofi tries to fire up but gets stomped down in the corner. Woods breaks up the apron powerbomb so Owens gives it to him instead to end the show. I know it seemed obvious from the beginning, but that’s because it was obvious from the beginning. Why stretch it out for another few weeks instead of just getting to the point already?

Overall Rating: C+. I don’t know if it’s the lack of Baron Corbin or the show just not trying to feel so big and important but this is such an easier night to watch than Raw. Kofi vs. Owens isn’t the most interesting in the world but it’s fine for Kofi’s first feud, especially when it’s a very strong possibility that Owens could win the title. The rest of the show had some questionable decisions but the action was good and nothing was all that bad. Or maybe it is just the lack of Corbin.

Results

Finn Balor b. Andrade – Coup de Grace

Kairi Sane b. Peyton Royce – Insane Elbow

Charlotte b. Bayley – Spear

Kofi Kingston b. Shinsuke Nakamura via DQ when Rusev interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Main Event – April 11, 2019: Why Have Fun When You Don’t Have To?

IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: April 11, 2019
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Renee Young, Percy Watson, Byron Saxton

Wrestlemania has come and gone and that means it’s time for the big recap show of the most eventful shows of the year. Well in theory at least as this year’s shows were tame as WWE decided that we needed to have the big stuff take place during the Designated Fun Time of the Superstar Shakeup next week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Jinder Mahal vs. No Way Jose

Mahal pushes him into the corner so Jose punches his way to freedom. The armbar is countered into a suplex though and Mahal grabs the chinlock, possibly trying to choke the green out of Jose’s hair. Some knees set up another chinlock as this is hardly fitting of a former World Champion. Jose fights up with a powerslam and a Stinger Splash in the corner but the Singh Brothers offer a distraction. The Khallas finishes Jose at 4:03.

Rating: D-. Again I ask how in the world did this nitwit become anything champion? He had to use two chinlocks to get through a four minute match, which should never be necessary. The match was awful as you probably guessed, and the big majority of that was due to Mahal, who continues to ruin anything he’s in.

From Raw.

Here’s Becky Lynch for her victory speech. Becky: “WE DID IT!” After dubbing herself Becky Two Belts, she says “Ronnie and Ric’s daughter” were so cocky coming up on Wrestlemania but the one who walked in with nothing walked out with everything. She left home at fifteen to fight around the world and now she’s here. Fans: “YOU’RE THE MAN!” Becky: “You hear that Ronnie, you little weirdo?” Whenever Rousey is done sulking, Becky will be ready to slap the taste out of her mouth. Charlotte is likely getting the Tag Team Titles to make her feel better.

Other than that though, she’s the redhead in leather with two titles, ready to slap the heads off you all. She goes to leave….and here’s Lacey Evans as we seem to finally be ready to go somewhere with this thing. Lacey gives her the Woman’s Right and Becky doesn’t even go down. They fight up the ramp with Becky almost getting the Disarm-Her to send Lacey running. It’s not a good sign when her finisher didn’t even take Becky off her feet, but Becky has faced most of the big names in the division already so a fresh opponent is a good idea.

From Smackdown.

Here’s Becky Lynch for a chat. She talks about doing what she promised to and became Becky Two Belts on Sunday. We look back at last nit with Lacey Evans hitting a heck of a right hand that didn’t even knock Becky off her feet. The Superstar Shakeup is next week but she’s not worried because she’ll be on both shows.

There’s a tsunami of challengers coming and she says bring it on. If she has to beat everyone in the locker room and sleep with one eye open for the rest of her career, so be it. Becky goes to leave and poses on the stage as Lacey jumps her with another Woman’s Right. This one knocks Becky down and Lacey leaves before she’s back up.

From Smackdown again.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Usos

The Usos are defending. Jeff starts in on Jey’s arm and hands it off to Matt for more of the same. Jey comes in and loads up a Samoan drop with Jimmy….just running up to him and not doing anything in a bit of miscommunication (possibly from nerves due to facing the Hardys). Matt gets taken down on the floor and then sent hard into the corner as we take a break.

Back with Jeff dropping the legdrop between Jey’s legs until an enziguri takes him down. Jimmy misses a dive off the top and the Whisper in the Wind gets two. Poetry in Motion connects on Jimmy and it’s the Side Effect for two. A superkick into the Superfly Splash gets two on Jeff but the Double Us misses. It’s back to Matt for the Twist of Fate into the Swanton for the pin and the titles at 9:45.

Rating: B-. And we couldn’t do this at Wrestlemania instead of the four way tag that wasn’t all that great in the first place why? The Hardys winning again is hardly a stretch as they’re still one of the best teams around and whoever beats them will get a great rub from beating one of the best ever. Hopefully this frees the Usos up to go to Raw where they can FINALLY have some fresh opponents.

Post match here’s Lars Sullivan to smash both Hardys ala Brock Lesnar in 2002.

We look at Sullivan attacking Kurt Angle on Raw.

We look at Sami Zayn insulting the Raw crowd.

We look at Undertaker destroying Elias. The bugged out eyes from Elias was one of the funniest visuals in years.

Heavy Machinery vs. Ascension

Viktor and Tucker start with some grappling with Tucker, the former All American, getting the better of it without much effort. With that working as poorly as you might have guessed, Viktor runs into an elbow and it’s off to Otis for a change. The double crush hits Viktor but Konnor low bridges Tucker out to the floor for a crash.

Back in and we hit the chinlock because that’s about the extent of Ascension’s offense. Some stereo kicks to the ribs keep Tucker in trouble and Viktor knocks Otis off the apron. In keeping with tradition, Tucker gets over for the hot tag a few seconds later and it’s time for shoulders and suplexes. The Caterpillar sets up the Compactor to Viktor for the pin at 6:11.

Rating: D. And there’s your better match on the show. This was another nothing match with the same teams we’ve seen for months on this show. I was a little worried about Heavy Machinery but their big spots are still well received and that’s the point of a team like them. Ascension….well they’re still employed so it could be worse.

From Smackdown.

Here’s New Day to open things up for Kofi Kingston’s big celebration, meaning a rainbow of balloons and a bunch of pancakes. The fans tell Kofi that he deserves it and Big E. talks about how Kofi won the title at Wrestlemania, bringing tears to eyes. Big E: “An A+ player….with extra credit!” Woods is all fired up too and praises Big E.’s split from last night so Big E. does it again for a bonus.

Woods talks about how people cried on Sunday because it was like seeing their heroes. The three of them got together and changed history so on behalf of everyone, congratulations Kofi. The new champ says this wasn’t in the script or in the cards, which is why it’s such a special moment. He thanks his family, in the front row tonight.

They inspire him to be the best he can be….and here’s the Bar to interrupt. Sheamus talks about how Kofi was about to lose the title last night because he’s a B+ player. A six man challenge is made with a new partner for the Bar: Drew McIntyre. I’d rather he be over on Smackdown anyway as his chances of being World Champion go up a bit.

And from Smackdown again.

New Day vs. The Bar/Drew McIntyre

Everyone is in the ring when we come back from a break. Hang on though as here’s Sami Zayn to say….that we’re not worth it before leaving. Woods kicks Sheamus in the ribs to start and it’s off to Kofi for a double stomp. Sheamus clotheslines Woods to the floor so McIntyre can hit his reverse Alabama Slam into the announcers’ table as we take a break (after being back from a break for less than three minutes). Back with Big E. getting the hot tag and hitting the Warrior Splash for two on Cesaro.

The Big Ending is broken up and Sheamus tags himself in for a jumping knee to the face. The spike White Noise gets two on Big E. as Xavier makes the save. A big clothesline drops Sheamus and it’s Kofi coming in with the top rope splash to Sheamus’ back. The dive over the top hits Cesaro and it’s Trouble in Paradise to finish Sheamus at 8:03. I don’t think I saw McIntyre once after the break.

Rating: D+. So remember last night when Kofi and a partner beat the bar and it didn’t lead anywhere to end the show? Well tonight it was a different partner as we set up the Superstar Shakeup instead of doing anything important tonight. What we got to see of the match was fine, though about half of it was in the break.

Kofi brings his family in to celebrate with New Day to end the show as….nothing else happens.

And from after Raw, in a bonus clip.

Seth Rollins calls Roman Reigns to the ring for a chat. Rollins puts him over for having his first match back after battling leukemia. They’re here to bring out Dean Ambrose because they need to have one last sendoff for their brother. Dean comes out and Rollins says that the Universal Title isn’t around his waist without Ambrose helping him get ready for Brock Lesnar. The fans chant PLEASE DON’T GO but Rollins says that doesn’t work.

Dean talks about being all over this country but the sweetest sights he’s ever see are Ambrose stomping Lesnar’s lunchbox head and Reigns coming back from leukemia. Ambrose has a long history here in this building and lists off a bunch of memories here. This is just a building though and what really matters is the people so thank you all. Dean bows to the fans and one more Shield pose takes us out. You don’t get emotional Dean very often and it was nice to see.

Overall Rating: D. These shows really don’t work when there’s almost nothing on the shows they’re recapping. Wrestlemania time is a special week and it’s a shame that WWE decided to cut off the special shows for the sake of putting everything on the Superstar Shakeup. There’s no reason that it has to be a week after Wrestlemania other than WWE has decided it needs to be, but why have fun when you don’t have to?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Main Event – April 4, 2019: Just Get To Wrestlemania

IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: April 4, 2019
Location: Capital One Arena, Washington DC
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Percy Watson, Renee Young

This one (and the next one) got lost in the Wrestlemania shuffle so I’m a few weeks late in getting them up. The Network posts it two and a half weeks after it originally airs so I’ll have to take what I can get. The recaps might be a bit more interesting here as there has been some pretty significant time since this show took place. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

No Way Jose vs. Tyler Breeze

Breeze has cut off his hair and the visual isn’t the best, though it’s still better than Jose’s green hair. Jose shoves off a headlock to put Breeze in the corner so it’s a superkick to his dancing ribs. The chinlock goes on and Breeze cuts off the comeback with a belly to back suplex. A front facelock doesn’t work as well as Jose shoves him off for a crash and they’re both down. Breeze gets in an enziguri but Jose fires off a heck of a clothesline for two. Since it worked before, Breeze goes with another enziguri to set up the Unprettier, which is countered into the pop up right hand to give Jose the pin at 5:18.

Rating: C-. This was a battle of the overlooked talents who have diminished themselves with bad hair choices. It’s also a match that we’ve probably seen half a dozen times at this point and that’s not something that I need to see again. You would think they could mix up the Main Event matches a bit with Wrestlemania upon us but apparently that’s too much to ask.

Video on the Women’s Title match now being Winner Take All.

From Raw.

Riott Squad vs. Ronda Rousey/Charlotte/Becky Lynch

Whoever betrays their partners first is out of Sunday’s main event. Before her entrance, Becky says she doesn’t want to hear from the loudmouth Charlotte or from Rousey with her God complex. Ronda and Charlotte talk about wanting to make history but Becky has to. Charlotte and Ruby start things off but Becky tags herself in and mocks the strut.

She even begs Charlotte to slap her in the face before sending Ruby outside as we take an early break. Back with Becky having to fight out of Logan’s standing Texas Cloverleaf and suplexing Morgan for two. Charlotte tags herself in and argues with Becky but Ronda tags herself in as well to yell at Charlotte as well. The armbar makes Morgan tap at 7:20.

Rating: D+. Angle advancement here as it should be as the Riott Squad loses AGAIN because that’s the only reason they exist. The women’s division needs to figure out how to use jobbers again because they don’t have the roster depth to make something like this work. It’s not like this means anything anyway, but how many times can the Squad lose before it loses all meaning?

Post match the fight is on until security breaks it up. That goes nowhere so here are the cops, with Ronda hitting one of them. That’s enough for an arrest but Becky attacks the cuffed Rousey. Becky is arrested as well so Charlotte goes after Becky and the Wrestlemania main event is all in handcuffs. They all kick at the cops’ legs as I have no idea what this is supposed to accomplish.

They’re all taken to police cars with Ronda and Becky in the same one so another fight breaks out with the window being kicked out. Charlotte gets in one more knee to Ronda’s head before the car is taken away. This was intense, but seeing the three of them in handcuffs and fighting each other felt like a rejected scene from a bad B movie rather than an effective wrestling angle. Just go with the classic locker room holding them back instead of going so far over the top with it.

From Smackdown.

It’s time for the contract signing between Daniel Bryan and Kofi Kingston. Bryan and Rowan are already in the ring as New Day come out, complete with pancakes. The fans’ KOFI chants are shushed by Bryan because he’s here to educate the masses. The fans need to stop thinking that a few months of success make up for eleven years. Their life lesson: DO NOT BE COMPLACENT. Also, don’t be a bystander in your own lives like Kofi has been doing.

He’s sat and watched while New Day pushed him to the top. The Kofi chants keep going as Bryan rants his final lesson: don’t mistake a fad for reality. Bryan has been where Kofi is now but with YES chants instead of KOFI chants. The reality is that the people feed off of him because they are parasites. Bryan wants Kofi to soak this in because it’s as good as it’s ever going to get. Kofi grabs the mic and says it’s time to educate Bryan. He can claim to know what Kofi is feeling but it’s become clear that Bryan knows nothing about him.

Kofi watched Bryan become champion in two years but not as a bystander. Bryan hasn’t been through eleven years with no singles title matches because it’s all led here. Kofi sees Bryan trembling because Bryan knows Kofi is ready. The one common thread is that Bryan knows what Kofi is feeling and knows what’s coming. At Wrestlemania, Kofi becomes WWE Champion. Kofi signs and we’re set. Kofi sounded nervous, but the fire was there and that’s what mattered.

Video on Kurt Angle’s career. That’s the kind of tribute he deserves because he really was that awesome.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Lucha House Party vs. Ascension

Lince Dorado is the odd luchador out so Konnor hits the floor to yell at him. Back in and Kalisto hits the dropkick to the knee but Konnor nips up (that’s a new one). It’s off to Metalik for the rope walk dropkick to Viktor but the referee gets distracted, allowing Konnor to break up another springboard. We take a break and come back with Metalik in trouble as Viktor grabs a chinlock.

Since no one has ever done it before, Viktor mocks the Lucha Dance and hands it back to Viktor for an elbow to the back. Metalik fights out of a slam and counters into a DDT for the hot tag to Kalisto. The rolling kick to the head hits Viktor and there’s the hurricanrana driver for two. Everything breaks down and Kalisto seems to slip off a handspring but catches his balance fast enough to kick Konnor in the head. With Viktor down on the floor, it’s the Salida Del Sol into Kalisto’s rope walk elbow for the pin at 9:35.

Rating: D+. Another match we’ve seen time after time though at least the Lucha guys are always entertaining in one way or another. The Ascension on the other hand isn’t the best idea in the world because there’s no reason to believe they’re never going to win anything. Still though, not the worst.

From Raw.

Here are Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman for a chat. Heyman does his introduction (Heyman: “Don’t worry I’ll be doing this again next week too.”) before talking about how appropriate the Winner Takes All stipulation is because it’s the same thing for Lesnar. Brock is going to win and take it all, including Seth Rollins’ best shot. Lesnar took the Undertaker’s Streak and then last year he took the hopes and dreams from Roman Reigns when EVERYONE knew that Reigns was going to win.

This Sunday is for the fans who watch hockey for the fights, the fans who watch NASCAR for the crashes and the fans who watch soccer for the riots. On Sunday, Lesnar will have his foot on Rollins’ chest and then the two of them will go out to dinner to discuss Lesnar’s future. This brings out Rollins, who says Sunday is the biggest match for both of their careers because everyone from the fans to the locker room is sick of Brock.

Yeah Lesnar has made a fortune because he’s such an athletic freak and the most decorated athlete in combat sports history (not really) but Rollins could win. Lesnar goes to leave but Rollins kicks him low. That earns him a release German suplex but Rollins goes low again and hits the Stomp to leave Lesnar laying. I love that the only way to really hurt Lesnar is a low blow and no one really tries to do anything else.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m not sure on this one, as they did a nice job of setting up the show but the show is so bloated and weak looking (because of the size) that it’s not the most interesting thing in the world. The original wrestling might as well have been cut out for the sake of more build videos, which would have been a better move for something like this. Not bad, but get to Wrestlemania already.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




New Column: The Villain Problem

Why do they never fix this?

 

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-villain-problem/




Monday Night Raw – April 15, 2019: Something About Taxes On New Employees

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 15, 2019
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Renee Young, Corey Graves

We’re on to a big show this week with the first night of the Superstar Shakeup. In this case, that means we have a night of people moving over to Monday Night Raw, though the question is where they will go. WWE has implied that we might be seeing some names moving to shows other than just the two main ones, meaning several more doors are available. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s a loudly booed Stephanie McMahon to introduce Shane McMahon. Hold on though as Mike Rome has to do Shane’s big introduction. Shane even does it in French, though he does wait for the fans to get done chanting CM PUNK. Before we get to the first pick, let’s look at some stills of Shane McMahon beating up Miz’s dad. Stephanie goes to introduce the first star but Miz cuts him off, which might be a move over to Raw. The announcers say that Miz is on Raw as Shane beats him up, only to come back with a chair shot. Shane bails as a bleeding Miz stands tall. Makes sense for Miz as he’s been on Smackdown forever now.

We look at Seth Rollins beating Brock Lesnar for the Universal Title at Wrestlemania.

Ricochet/Aleister Black/Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins vs. Revival/Viking Experience

Black and Ricochet are officially on Raw. The Viking Experience are the War Raiders, now called Ebar and Erik because reasons. Hawkins and Ryder work on Dawson to start but it’s quickly off to Black for some kicks to the arm. The Vikings get to take turns on Black until Dash drives him into the corner. Ricochet comes in but it’s already back to Black as everything breaks down. The champs and company clean house and we take a break.

Back with Erick (Rowe) getting slammed onto Hawkins and getting caught in an armbar. Revival gets to take their turns until Hawkins dives over for the tag off to Ryder. Everything breaks down and the middle rope Rough Ryder gets two on Erik and Ricochet misses a moonsault to the floor on Dawson with the camera not being able to hide it. That leaves Hawkins to be launched over the top onto Black and Ricochet, followed by Fallout to Ryder for the pin at 13:25.

Rating: C. I can’t get over the name change. What in the world is the point? If you don’t want the War Raiders name on Raw then fine, but come up with something better than what sounds like a Medieval Times spinoff. The team looked great (as they always do) so they’ll be fine on the show, but I can’t get my head around that name.

Cedric Alexander is coming to Raw. It’s long overdue and he’ll be cannon fodder in six weeks if he’s lucky.

Finn Balor vs. Andrade

Andrade is making his Raw debut and has Zelina Vega here for his introduction. After some yelling in Spanish and French, Andrade starts fast with the running knees in the corner. Balor is right back with a faceplant but they head outside with Andrade sending him face first into the apron as we take a break.

Back with Andrade going after his knee but getting caught with a reverse DDT. Andrade hits his cartwheel backflip DDT (with Balor just standing there watching) but the moonsault into a moonsault hits knees. Balor goes up for the Coup de Grace but has to roll through, allowing Vega to offer a distraction. The running flip dive hits Almas anyway but Vega offers a quick distraction and snaps off a hurricanrana. Back in and the hammerlock DDT finishes Balor at 10:19.

Rating: C+. Another entertaining match and another instance of the new champion losing in the middle of the ring for the second match in a row. There are how many people you could put out there instead of Balor and get the same point across? The interference helps a little bit but I’m sick of using this as a way to set up the title match. Just have Andrade win three or so matches in a row and then say he wants a title shot. It’s worked for years so why can’t it work now?

We look at John Cena and Undertaker attacking Elias. The look on Elias’ face when the gong struck is still hilarious.

Here’s Elias to play Undertaker’s theme and say that he will be ready for Undertaker next time. If anyone interrupts him tonight, it’s the last time they’ll be able to show their face on Raw. Cue Rey Mysterio to chase Elias off without much trouble but here’s Lars Sullivan to beat him up, including the Freak Accident. Rey takes a running sitout powerbomb for a bonus.

Chad Gable/Bobby Roode vs. Usos

The Usos are a surprise, or at least they would be if Roode and Gable didn’t have a graphic underneath them saying THE USOS. Gable takes Jimmy down with an armbar as the fans are behind the twins. The Usos fight back up but Jey gets kneed to the floor where Roode hits a knee of his own. The villains start alternating on Jey with Roode grabbing a chinlock. A jumping chinlock is enough to bring in Jimmy and a Blockbuster/German suplex combination puts him down for two. Back up and everything breaks down with the Usos firing off superkicks, setting up the Double Us to pin Gable at 5:22.

Rating: C-. The Usos moving over is way, way overdue so this is about as good as you could have gotten. They’ve been dying for some fresh opponents and while Roode and Gable aren’t great, it’s better than seeing them fight the Bar or New Day again and again. The match was nothing to see of course, but I’ll take what I can get with the right move.

Here’s Alexa Bliss for a Moment of Bliss with Sami Zayn. He gets such a strong reaction that his music plays again so he can soak things in a second time. They do it a third time and Sami calls them fish in a barrel. He turns it up a notch by shouting in French and starting the OLE chants. Bliss says it’s great to have him back on Raw and the fans start a OUI chant.

Sami talks about all the things he’s done in this city over the week and while he loves the place, he can’t stand the people. He hates everyone here and didn’t want to do this show. Alexa: “So rude.” The cheers make him a bit sick so the fans let him have it with a chant in French. This used to be his town but now he’s moved to sunny Orlando, Florida. He chose to leave here before and now he’s choosing to leave here again right now.

IIconics vs. Bayley/Naomi

Non-title. Fallout from Bayley not being able to get Sasha Banks on the phone and needing a replacement. Bayley kicks Billie into the corner to start and hands it off to Naomi for the forearms. Peyton’s chinlock doesn’t last long and it’s Naomi kicking Billie in the face. A Bayley to Belly takes out Peyton and the split legged moonsault finishes Billie at 2:01. Hey did you know that Sasha is gone and WWE doesn’t seem to think much of her not being around?

Buzzard puppet.

EC3 vs. Braun Strowman

Strowman runs him over and beats EC3 up the ramp. That means a toss into the set, which nearly breaks into pieces. A chokeslam off the stage through a piece of wood destroys EC3. No match.

We look back at some of the bigger events of the night.

Eric Young has been moved to Raw as well.

Ruby Riott vs. Becky Lynch

Non-title. Becky pounds her down to start and pulls Ruby away from the ropes for a crash. A baseball slide puts Riott on the floor for a clothesline from the apron. Back in and Ruby chokes on the ropes a bit and kicks in the corner but Becky is right back with running clotheslines. The Bexploder but gets pulled off the middle rope for a crash. Ruby’s falling backsplash gets two, only to have Becky come right back with the Disarm-Her. After dispatching the rest of the Squad, Becky makes Riott tap at 4:29.

Rating: C-. Short version of the same match we’ve seen these two have half a dozen times. I can’t stand what has happened to the Squad as they deserve so much better than this but they’re not big enough to be on the main event stage in the women’s division. The match was fine, but it was just a way to get Becky on the show.

Drew McIntyre, Baron Corbin and Bobby Lashley don’t care about who is teaming with Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns tonight because they’ll run them off Raw.

Post break Becky is still in the ring and here’s Natalya to interrupt. Natalya talks about being a pioneer of the women’s division with Becky, Charlotte and Ronda Rousey getting to make history. Last week Becky talked about having to sleep with one eye open, but Natalya is here to challenge a wide awake Becky for the Raw Women’s Title.

That’s fine with Becky, who has been in the trenches with a lot of talented people. The two of them fought to get here and look at them now. This brings out Lacey Evans, who knows how to be a lady and curry influence. Now that she’s on Raw, she wants the Raw Women’s Title so she’s got a #1 contenders match with Natalya. Becky better watch because a lady can teach a man a thing or two.

Lacey Evans vs. Natalya

Natalya starts fast with her belly to back drop and a botch of the step over dropkick to the back. Lacey is sent outside and we take a break. Back with Natalya fighting out of a neck crank but getting sent face first into the middle buckle. The chinlock goes on and Lacey drops a knee to keep her in trouble. Natalya fights up and grabs the Sharpshooter, sending Lacey to the rope, which she makes on the second attempt. After being rammed into the barricade, Lacey is right back with the Woman’s Right. The springboard moonsault finishes Natalya at 9:35.

Rating: D+. Well it’s good to see them pushing someone fresh for a change, but having Natalya in there sucked a lot of the energy out of the thing. Lacey vs. Becky will be fine for a quick win for Lynch and it’s not like losing to her is going to destroy Lacey right off the bat. The cameos did enough of that already.

Rollins and Reigns say you have to wait to find out their partner tonight.

We get another creepy vignette, this time with a dollhouse and a laughing doll sitting in a rocking chair.

Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins/??? vs. Drew McIntyre/Bobby Lashley/Baron Corbin

The mystery partner is….AJ Styles. Lashley runs into Seth’s boot to start and it’s Reigns coming in for an uppercut. AJ hits his dropkick and it’s off to McIntyre, which is a heck of a showdown. That sounds a little too fun so here’s Reigns instead, with Drew suplexing him down. Drew sends him outside for a ram into the barricade as Corey talks about Corbin having all the necessary tools.

Back in and Corbin’s chokebreaker gets two as we take a break. We come back with Rollins getting two off a sunset flip to Corbin but it’s too early for the Stomp. Instead the suicide dive is blocked with a right hand and a faceplant gets two. The Blockbuster gets Rollins out of trouble and it’s a hot tag off to AJ to strike away on Lashley. Everything breaks down and some Pele Kicks drop Lashley and Corbin.

The Styles Clash is broken up with a Claymore and McIntyre throws Reigns with a suplex. McIntyre misses another Claymore and falls over the barricade, leaving Lio Rush to catch Styles’ springboard with his spinning Dominator. That’s broken up with the Stomp into a spear, leaving AJ to hit the Phenomenal Forearm to finish Lashley at 12:48.

Rating: C+. Pretty run of the mill main event tag match here and that’s a good way to end the show. AJ coming over is a smart move as he doesn’t have anyone left to fight on Smackdown so some fresh challengers can help him. The lack of pinning Corbin makes me even more nervous though as you can feel the title reign coming.

The winners celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The wrestling wasn’t the point of this show as everything was about bringing in fresh names. They covered most of the more obvious moves (Usos and Styles) and a few surprises in Naomi and Andrade. Then there’s the still stupid VIKING EXPERIENCE, which is about as Vince as you can get.

Other than that though, the show was moving at a great pace and nothing felt boring. They didn’t go with any long matches as there’s little point with so many stories to get through tonight. I know they can’t do that every single week, but for a one off special episode like this, it was the right way to go and it worked exactly as it should have. Very fun show, though I worry about tomorrow’s counterpart.

Results

Viking Experience/Revival b. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder/Aleister Black/Ricochet – Fallout to Ryder

Andrade b. Finn Balor – Hammerlock DDT

Usos b. Chad Gable/Bobby Roode – Double Us to Gable

Bayley/Naomi b. IIconics – Split legged moonsault to Kay

Becky Lynch b. Ruby Riott – Disarm-Her

Lacey Evans b. Natalya – Springboard moonsault

AJ Styles/Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins b. Baron Corbin/Drew McIntyre/Bobby Lashley – Phenomenal Forearm to Lashley

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – April 8, 2019: I Know They Aren’t Tone Deaf

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 8, 2019
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young

It’s the season premiere of the show and that means we’re in for something interesting tonight. Tonight is the night of big things happening, as we’ll be seeing a variety of people being called up and big stories going down, though a lot of it isn’t going to matter as we have the Superstar Shakeup next week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last night’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Seth Rollins to open things up and we take a quick look at him defeating Brock Lesnar in less than three minutes last night. Back in the arena, Rollins says we deserve it and all he had to do was climb Mount Everest. He feels terrible today though and it’s like he got run over by a Mack truck. Today, he feels terrible after the beating and yeah he might have used some questionable tactics, but Lesnar would have done the same thing. Fans: “FULL TIME CHAMP!”

Seth promises to be a full time fighting champion….and here’s New Day, with Big E. giving Kofi his own part of the introduction. Kofi can see that Seth is confused (Seth: “It’s not Tuesday.”) and it’s not the Superstar Shakeup just yet. They’re here for a celebration and didn’t want to wait until Smackdown. Big E. and Xavier put over the new champions and the celebration is so strong that Big E. does a full splits. After the match, Kofi saw Becky Lynch win a winner take all match….and he liked that idea. The challenge is out for tonight, one on one for both titles. Rollins: “Challenge accepted.” The screwy finish could be interesting.

Tag Team Titles: Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins vs. Revival

Revival is challenging and gets a jobber entrance. Dawson and Ryder start things off and it’s all four in after less than thirty seconds. We settle down to Hawkins rolling Wilder up for two and getting punched in the face like he just jumped Bret Hart. A dropkick hits Dawson but Wilder gets in a knee from the back to put Hawkins down. The Hart Attack gets two and we take a break.

Back with Hawkins hitting a jumping knee to the face and diving over for the hot tag to Ryder. House is cleaned and it’s quickly back to Hawkins who gets two off a small package. Hawkins gets pulled outside and it’s a torture rack/top rope knee to Ryder for two. Ryder’s neckbreaker is blocked and a small package gives Dawson two more. A blind tag brings Hawkins in though and, after a Shatter Machine to Ryder, Hawkins rolls Dawson up to retain at 10:04.

Rating: C+. I liked this one better than last night’s as it had some extra energy and some drama, which is more than you would have expected. I’m rather surprised that they kept the titles, but at the same time I can’t imagine the Revival ever gets them back. It’s a sad place to be, but why would WWE want to go with a team who has an actually different style and can work well with anyone?

Here’s Baron Corbin for his big victory speech. He talks about how great he is and insults the dirty New York fans before saying he deserves a gold medal of his own. This brings out Kurt Angle to say Corbin does deserve it, setting up an Angle Slam and an ankle lock to make Corbin tap. Angle poses….and here’s Lars Sullivan of all people to debut. It’s a Freak Accident and the top rope headbutt to leave Angle laying. That’s a very big surprise as Sullivan hasn’t been mentioned in months due to some mental health issues.

Alexa Bliss vs. Bayley

Bliss starts fast with a forearm to knock Bayley outside early on. Back in and Bayley grabs a rollup and puts her hand on the rope for two. A sunset flip sends Bliss HARD into the buckle for two but Bliss is right back with the DDT for the pin at 2:44.

Here’s Becky Lynch for her victory speech. Becky: “WE DID IT!” After dubbing herself Becky Two Belts, she says “Ronnie and Ric’s daughter” were so cocky coming up on Wrestlemania but the one who walked in with nothing walked out with everything. She left home at fifteen to fight around the world and now she’s here. Fans: “YOU’RE THE MAN!” Becky: “You hear that Ronnie, you little weirdo?” Whenever Rousey is done sulking, Becky will be ready to slap the taste out of her mouth. Charlotte is likely getting the Tag Team Titles to make her feel better.

Other than that though, she’s the redhead in leather with two titles, ready to slap the heads off you all. She goes to leave….and here’s Lacey Evans as we seem to finally be ready to go somewhere with this thing. Lacey gives her the Woman’s Right and Becky doesn’t even go down. They fight up the ramp with Becky almost getting the Disarm-Her to send Lacey running. It’s not a good sign when her finisher didn’t even take Becky off her feet, but Becky has faced most of the big names in the division already so a fresh opponent is a good idea.

Rollins says Kofi better bring his A game because B+ isn’t enough.

Aleister Black/Ricochet vs. Chad Gable/Bobby Roode

Cole says that Ricochet and Black, who lost their two big title matches over the weekend, are on a roll. Gable says that they’re willing to do whatever it takes to get back on top. Gable tries a Boston crab to start but has to duck a kick to the face, allowing Black to sit down and stare at him. With the submissions not working, Gable grapples him down without much effort and pulls Black to the corner for a tag to Roode.

Black is able to get over for a tag and it’s off to Ricochet to take Roode down on the floor. Back in and Ricochet is sent outside all over again as we take a break. Back with Gable suplexing Ricochet and Roode’s clothesline getting two. Ricochet rolls forward to dropkick Gable and Black comes in again for the strikes to Roode. A sunset flip gives Roode two (and twists Black’s ankle around at the same time though he seems fine) and another kick to the head drops Roode.

The fans do the Wave as Black kicks Roode in the head, setting up a spinning suplex from Ricochet. Gable pulls Black to the floor and the referee gets shoved, allowing Gable to shove Ricochet off the top. That sets up a spinebuster for two and the moonsault/neckbreaker combination gets the same as Black makes a very last second save. Roode and Black go outside this time, leaving Ricochet to flip out of Rolling Chaos Theory. A one knee Codebreaker finishes Gable at 11:24.

Rating: C-. These teams have already been in the ring against each other far too many times now and the division needs some fresh blood. Like the Usos, who should have been moved over here a long time ago. Black and Ricochet winning helped a bit but they need some fresh teams to face.

Post match Roode decks Ricochet and bails.

Elias is mad at John Cena for interrupting him with what he calls music. Tonight Elias is performing and no one better interrupt him.

A box with smoke coming out of it opens up and it’s a puppet…..which might be a bird…..a buzzard perhaps?

Dean Ambrose vs. Bobby Lashley

This is billed as Dean’s last match. Lashley gets a mic and says that when Dean is gone, Lashley will take care of Renee Young for him. Dean erupts on him and sends Lashley into the timekeeper’s area for a chair shot. They fight up the ramp with Dean hitting Dirty Deeds on the stage. The announcers’ table is cleared off but Lio Rush’s distraction lets Lashley get in a spear. A spinebuster puts Dean through the table. No match.

Mojo Rawley yells into a mirror, asking where he was last night. He has blue paint around his eye now. I would wonder/care….but it’s Mojo. I like the guy but it’s not happening.

Here’s the returning Sami Zayn, who they showed before the break to ruin the surprise. His schedule is wide open and he could go for a match right now. That’s an open challenge.

Sami Zayn vs. Finn Balor

And here’s a bonus.

Intercontinental Title: Sami Zayn vs. Finn Balor

Sami is challenging. Feeling out process to start with both guys heading to the mat and Sami having to slip out of a headscissors for a standoff. Some armdrags have Sami on the floor but they switch places and Sami does his bounce off the ropes moonsault for a funny reaction. Balor comes back in for a good dropkick to set up the armbar to start on the surgically repaired shoulder.

Sami fights up but gets caught with the Pele as we take a break. Back with Sami hitting the Blue Thunder Bomb for two but the Helluva Kick is countered by a Sling Blade. The Coup de Grace misses and Sami hits the exploder into the corner. The Helluva Kick misses again and now the Coup de Grace retains Balor’s title at 12:06.

Rating: C. Well ok then. I’m not quite sure I get the logic here but maybe Sami is going somewhere off the loss. Balor winning makes sense as you want to establish him as champion, though you couldn’t do this over some loser like Mojo Rawley? Not much of a match but it’s nice to see Sami back.

Post match Sami said he hoped that would fix him but it just reinforced what he’s learned over the last nine months. It genuinely seems like the fans missed him….but he didn’t miss and of this or any of the fans. WWE is a toxic place and it’s all because of the ugly fans. He lives a fulfilled life but the fans’ lives seem so empty and devoid of any meaning. They don’t even enjoy the shows as fans because they only want to be critics. It’s the only thing that gives them any sense of self importance because fans judge everything but themselves.

None of them have the guts to look inside themselves because they know the ugliness that lives inside of them. The fans think they’re the voices that should be heard but now they’re the evil overlords of WWE. Sami has been about doing what is right for his whole life but now the right thing isn’t to come back and save WWE or take over WWE (might have been a HHH impression on that second one) but rather hold the fans accountable. Sami: “See you in h***.” I’m much better with the loss now.

We look at Lacey Evans punching Becky.

Dana Brooke says the line for the title is forming and she’s not at the front but she’s not at the back either.

Here’s Elias for his performance. He rants about Cena interrupting him again but stops for OH WALK WITH ELIAS. In the spirit of Brooklyn, he’s going to show us how easy it is to rap. He rhymes about his middle finger being for Cena and says the next one to interrupt him is a dead man….and there’s the gong. After the long entrance, Elias goes to leave but comes back in. The jacket comes off, Elias stares him down (looking like a near dead ringer for Luke Harper from behind), and charges into a big boot. The chokeslam and Tombstone leave Elias laying.

WWE Championship/Universal Championship: Kofi Kingston vs. Seth Rollins

Title for title. The fans are split as Kofi starts with his double leapfrog but it’s too early for SOS. It’s too early for the ripcord knee, Trouble in Paradise and the Stomp as well and we take a break. Back with Kofi getting dropkicked out of the air and enziguried for two. Rollins stomps his foot a lot but gets knocked to the floor. Kofi goes up….and the Bar runs in to jump Kofi for the DQ at 7:48.

Rating: C. It was nice while it lasted but egads that’s a disappointing finish, especially with a likely tag match coming to finish the show. I was expecting some kind of interference or screwy finish, but the Bar? That’s the best they can come up with on the biggest Raw of the year? Come on people.

Challenge accepted again.

The Bar vs. Seth Rollins/Kofi Kingston

Rollins knocks Cesaro to the floor to start but gets sent into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Kofi being knocked off the apron and a double backbreaker getting two on Seth. The fans entertain themselves with….something likely dumb as Sheamus misses a charge into the post. The hot tag brings in Kofi and cuts off the WE WANT BEACH BALLS chant.

Sheamus takes the Boom Drop and the SOS gets two as Kofi clears the ring. Kofi’s backwards dive onto both of them is caught but Seth suicide dives onto all of them. Back in and the spike White Noise hits Kofi but Seth makes the save and posts Sheamus. The Swing is countered into a small package to give Kofi two and Seth tags himself back in. Trouble in Paradise into the Stomp finishes Cesaro at 9:25.

Rating: C. Well that happened. They really did just end the biggest show of the year with a Bar tag match. No big angle or anything. Just a tag match that feels like a match you would get if someone missed a flight to a house show. It was fine but I kept waiting on something important to happen and it never came.

The winners celebrate to end the show with nothing else happening.

Overall Rating: D+. I don’t know if it’s having the Superstar Shakeup next week or what but the last few years haven’t felt as special for the post Wrestlemania Raw. There were a few moments sprinkled here and there, but most of this show felt like any given Raw. Undertaker’s cameo was a nice surprise and Lars Sullivan actually got me but other than that….there isn’t much. I’m guessing we’ll get the callups next week but that doesn’t make this show any easier to watch. It wasn’t bad, but I’m rather disappointed.

Results

Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder b. Revival – Rollup to Dawson

Alexa Bliss b. Bayley – DDT

Ricochet/Aleister Black b. Chad Gable/Bobby Roode – Codebreaker to Gable

Finn Balor b. Sami Zayn – Coup de Grace

Kofi Kingston b. Seth Rollins via DQ when the Bar interrupted

Kofi Kingston/Seth Rollins b. The Bar – Stomp to Cesaro

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestlemania XXXV: So Much For No Happy Endings

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XXXV
Date: April 7, 2019
Location: MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips
America the Beautiful: Yolanda Adams

As long as this show is going to be, there’s something special about getting to see it every year. This year’s show is built around the three major matches and the question of how many happy endings we can have. You know it’s not going to be all three, but which of the three doesn’t go through. Those matches consist of Universal Champion Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins, Smackdown World Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Kofi Kingston and the winner take all match for both Women’s titles as Ronda Rousey faces Charlotte and Becky Lynch in a genuinely historic main event. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Tony Nese vs. Buddy Murphy

Nese is challenging after winning a tournament and wastes no time in trying a jumping knee. Murphy gets sent outside but is fine enough to drop Nese ribs first onto the turnbuckle as we go split screen for an ad. Well at least they didn’t do this during the TV build. Back to full with Nese fighting out of a chinlock and suplexing the champ into the corner. Murphy gets tied in the ropes for a Lionsault but catches Nese with a superkick. A spinning faceplant gets two and some knees to the face have Nese in more trouble.

Nese is fine enough to hit a reverse hurricanrana and they trade a series of strikes to the face. Nese’s kneeling over the back piledriver gets two, followed by the 450 for the same. Murphy is right back up with Murphy’s Law but Nese gets a foot on the rope. With nothing else working, Murphy tries Nese’s running knee in the corner but walks into a superkick. A German suplex into the corner sets up the real running knee to give Nese the pin and the title at 10:43.

Rating: C+. Pretty good stuff here, even if I can’t imagine Nese holding the title very long. He’s the New York guy so it makes sense to have him win the title for a feel good moment. It wasn’t the most surprising thing in the world but it’s a good idea to open the night with a mostly short but effective match. Not bad at all, though Nese is a short term champion at best.

Kickoff Show: Women’s Battle Royal

Naomi, Lana, Nikki Cross, Asuka, Mickie James, Kairi Sane, Ember Moon, Ruby Riott, Sarah Logan, Liv Morgan, Zelina Vega, Dana Brooke, Eve Torres, Mandy Rose, Candice LeRae, Maria Kanellis, Sonya Deville, Carmella

It’s a wild brawl to start with Nikki Cross chasing Maria in a circle and getting rid of her. Asuka sends Nikki out and LeRae is out as well. Ember Eclipses Lana (as Captain Marvel) and knocks out Naomi, followed by another Eclipse to Mandy. Lana manages to get rid of Ember and insists that she’s #1 before kicking Sane in the face. Sane goes up and gets shoved to the apron, leaving us with a Lana vs. Logan staredown.

The Riott Squad gets together and dumps Lana but Sane is back in with the Insane Elbow on Logan. The Squad gets rid of Sane though and Logan lifts Morgan up for a flipping Stunner on Vega. Now it’s Asuka taking the triple teaming but she slides back in from the apron. Dana of all people fights back against the Squad and gets rid of Ruby. Logan is out as well but Vega blocks a cartwheel elbow.

Mandy and Sonya get rid of Vega and Brooke as we’re down to Logan, Rose, Deville, James and Asuka. James superkicks Mandy out but gets eliminated by Sonya to get us to three. Asuka sends Deville to the apron but Logan dumps both of them out….as Carmella slides back in, JUST LIKE LAST YEAR. Carmella knocks Logan over but Logan keeps her feet above the floor. A superkick gets rid of Logan to give Carmella the win at 10:30.

Rating: D. Hey, remember last year when someone snuck back in at the end and won the Women’s Battle Royal in a big surprise despite doing nothing coming into the match where someone could have gotten something out of it? No particular reason for asking of course. The match was your usual deal of everyone standing around until it was time for them to be eliminated until the ending. It was shorter than last year’s though and that’s an improvement. Oh and so much for Lacey Evans winning the thing as a surprise.

Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Team Titles: Revival vs. Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins

The Revival is defending and this wasn’t announced on the Kickoff Show. Dawson takes Hawkins into the corner to start and gets two off a rollup. It’s off to Ryder vs. Wilder, the latter of whom gets the loudest cheer of his career after he decked the guy who jumped Bret last night. An armbar keeps Ryder down and Dawson comes back in to rip at Ryder’s face. Ryder gets in a suplex and tosses Wilder into the corner but Dawson knocks Hawkins off the apron.

We hit the chinlock on Ryder for a bit until he backdrops his way to freedom, allowing the hot tag to Hawkins. A backslide gets two on Dawson and Wilder gets knocked off the apron. The double clothesline gives us a double knockdown and it’s back to Ryder. The middle rope Rough Ryder hits Dawson and Ryder suplex suplexes Wilder to the floor for a scary crash. Hawkins throws Ryder back in for the tag but Wilder breaks up the cover.

Wilder DDTs Ryder on the floor and Hawkins takes a brainbuster to put all four down on the floor. Back in Dawson is rather cocky about beating Hawkins, who seems to be a bit dead. You never want to be too cocky in wrestling though and it’s a small package to pin Dawson for the titles at 13:21.

Rating: C. Ignoring Hawkins losing 269 matches in a row and not having a win since November 2016, Ryder not winning a non-Main Event match on TV since December 2016 and the team not winning a match together since 2008, this makes perfect sense. The love for the New York fans is strong tonight, which makes me wonder what kind of horrible things they have in mind for the main card. Just let the Revival go sit at home until their contracts are up though because I’d rather they go out with just this humiliation rather than seeing what else WWE could think of for them.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Colin Jost, Michael Che, Braun Strowman, Otis, Tucker, Kalisto, Gran Metalik, Lince Dorado, Ali, Titus O’Neil, Konnor, Viktor, Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Andrade, Jinder Mahal, Harper, Bo Dallas, Bobby Roode, Apollo Crews, Bo Dallas, Luke Gallows, Karl Anderson, No Way Jose, Tyler Breeze, Chad Gable, Heath Slater, Rhyno, Shelton Benjamin, EC3

Hey Harper is back. The SNL guys bail to the floor as Breeze and EC3 are both out. Shelton and Dorado are eliminated as well with Strowman throwing everyone he comes near. Harper vs. Strowman gets a big reaction but everyone piles onto them to break it up. Titus misses a charge and gets eliminated, followed by Ali tornado DDTing Jose and tossing him. Strowman gets sent into the post and goes through the ropes to the floor as Anderson is tossed.

Rhyno is out as well and the Hardys get into a mini match with Roode/Gable, with Roode being eliminated. Metalik gets thrown out by Mahal and Andrade monkey flips Kalisto out. There goes Gable as the ring is clearing out in a hurry. Tucker runs the Ascension over and there’s a double Caterpillar to both of them. The Ascension is thrown out but Strowman tosses Heavy Machinery.

Mahal is out next as Harper tries to suplex Ali, only to have Strowman kick them both out at the same time. We’re down to Strowman, Che, Jost, Matt, Jeff, Apollo and Andrade. Apollo and Andrade go to the apron and Andrade snaps off a hurricanrana to eliminate both of them in a dumb move. The Hardys try to pull Strowman out but the SNL guys come in and fail to throw them out.

Strowman shrugs them off and dumps the Hardys, leaving him alone with Jost and Che. One of them grabs a mic and says this doesn’t have to end in violence, so here’s his therapist to talk Strowman through this. Strowman beats him up and gives him a chokeslam (good thing the therapist knows how to take a flat back bump) before slapping Che out. A running boot in the corner misses and Jost goes for the elimination but gets shoved away. Strowman throws him out for the win at 10:24.

Rating: D. Yeah it was stupid and the SNL guys were annoying, but it was on the Kickoff Show and the right person won so I can’t complain all that much. Strowman should have won something bigger than this but at least he comes away with something instead of just being tossed out like anyone else. You know, like they did with Asuka in the first match.

Yolanda Adams sings America the Beautiful.

Helicopters fly over the stadium instead of the usual planes.

The opening video features wrestlers talking about this being the biggest stage and them being the players and storytellers. We see stills of famous Wrestlemania moments as the wrestlers talk about having the chance to live forever. They switch into a regular video of everyone involved with Lynch saying that they are the storytellers. This is a great idea, but not exactly practical when you consider that this is Wrestlemania GET EVERYONE ON THE CARD.

Here’s Wrestlemania host Alexa Bliss to say that Wrestlemania needs a goddess. She snaps her fingers…..and here’s Hulk Hogan. Well that works. Hogan: “It’s great to be back here in the Silverdome brother!” Ok that was funny. Hogan: “Ok it’s great to be back here in the MetLife Center!” He hits the catchphrase and poses with Bliss as Paul Heyman of all people storms out between the two of them. Heyman goes to the ring and says if they’re not closing the show, they’re not hanging around. They’re getting their business done and going to Las Vegas where Lesnar is ULTIMATELY appreciated.

Universal Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins

Lesnar is defending. Rollins has a new BEAST SLAYER graphic but Brock knees him off the apron and it’s an F5 on the floor before the bell rings. Lesnar throws him into various things at ringside and then over the announcers’ table a few times. They get inside but the referee won’t start the match because Rollins isn’t ready. Lesnar tosses him outside again for another whip over the announcers’ table and through the top piece of the table.

They go back inside and Rollins is mostly dead but gets to his feet for the opening bell. Three straight German suplexes let Lesnar bounce as Rollins’ back is all kinds of pretty colors. The F5 is escaped and the ref is bumped, allowing Rollins to hit the low row. Rollins hits the low superkick and the Stomp connects. A second and third Stomp give Rollins the title at 2:30.

Jerry Lawler joins commentary.

Randy Orton vs. AJ Styles

The CGI graphics are back with Orton’s being a HUGE snake that made me jump. Battle over respect between the two of them as Orton has asked why it took AJ so long to get here. An early RKO attempt is blocked so Orton goes with a thumb to the eye and the Orton Stomp. AJ gets back up with the dropkick and the slingshot forearm to the floor drops Orton again. Orton is thrown back in and knocks AJ into the barricade. The chinlock doesn’t last long as AJ fights up with the Phenomenal Blitz and a basement forearm.

The Styles Clash is blocked and Orton tries the hanging DDT, which is reversed into the Calf Crusher. Once the rope is grabbed AJ goes to the apron and loads up the Phenomenal Forearm but drops back down as Orton jumps for the RKO and crashes, allowing AJ to hit the springboard 450 for two. Orton is back up with the top rope superplex as the fans are interested in something else.

The hanging DDT plants AJ and Orton plays to the crowd to get their attention back. The RKO is countered with an enziguri but the second attempt connects for two. It feels like it’s been awhile since anyone kicked out of that. With the regular version not working, Orton loads up a super RKO but gets kicked out to the floor. That means a Phenomenal Forearm to the outside and the regular one finishes Orton at 16:17.

Rating: B-. This was about what you would have expected with good action between two talented veterans. AJ knowing that the RKO counter was coming was fine and the ending was as decisive as you could get with AJ surviving the RKO and winning clean. It’s a perfectly good match and it’s not like the two of them have anything else to do at the moment. Expect a rematch next month.

Lacey Evans cameo, though this time she stops to sneer at the crowd.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Ricochet/Aleister Black vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev vs. The Bar

The Usos are defending. Jey and Black start things off but Sheamus tags himself in and low bridges Jey to the floor. Black gets taken down and it’s Rusev coming in to hold Black up for a kick from Rusev. It’s off to Ricochet with the springboard clothesline for two on Nakamura before spinning around Cesaro multiple times for a headscissors.

That just earns him a shot to the face and it’s time to swing Ricochet while Sheamus beats on Rusev’s chest. Nakamura tries to make a save so Sheamus beats on him as well, followed by the same to Jey and Black, all while Ricochet is swinging Ricochet for well over a minute. The Sharpshooter goes on with Jey making the save, earning himself a trip to the floor with his brother.

We settle down (kind of) to Black bringing in Ricochet, who gets caught by Rusev in a swinging release Rock Bottom. Everyone goes to the corner for the required Tower of Doom, with Ricochet rolling through because he’s Ricochet and more awesome than you. Black knees Sheamus down and Ricochet hits the 630 for two with a bunch of people diving in for the save. We get a parade of kicks to the face with Sheamus taking the double superkick. The Double Us retains the Usos’ titles at 10:05.

Rating: C+. The big spots helped a lot here and it felt like an amped up Smackdown match, which is one of the best things that you can have in this situation. There’s no other way you can go with no story and the match being thrown together on Smackdown. Just have them do the spots and do the best they can, like Ricochet sticking the landing and that insane swing.

Recap of the Hall of Fame.

Honky Tonk Man (Long overdue)

Harlem Heat (More than deserved)

Torrie Wilson (The bar has been lowered)

Brutus Beefcake (Sure why not)

Hart Foundation (Yep, and may I add yep)

Sue Aitchison, with John Cena’s 600th Make-A-Wish (Nothing wrong with that)

D-Generation X (Fine, though they feel weak for headliners)

We recap Shane McMahon vs. The Miz in the feud that WWE cares about and thinks we do too. Miz’s dad is a horrible person and only cared about his son when Miz started teaming with Shane, who didn’t like having to fix Miz’s daddy issues. Tonight it’s Falls Count Anywhere to blow it off.

Shane McMahon vs. The Miz

Falls Count Anywhere. Shane makes Greg Hamilton do his entrance three times, with the third being held out extra long. Miz’s dad is in the front row so Shane goes straight to the floor to choke him. The chase is on but Shane gets in a monitor shot to the head. The big elbow through the announcers’ table is loaded up so Miz’s dad gets in the way. Still doesn’t help the fact that he’s a horrible father.

Dad gets in the ring and puts up his fists so Shane jumps him. The beating brings Miz back into the ring to take Shane apart and send him into the barricade before checking on his dad. With the medics taking care of Papa Miz, Miz tackles Shane over the barricade and they head into the crowd, eventually going to the tech arena near one of the towers that holds up the structure above the ring. They go into an open area of the crowd with Miz hitting Shane in the foot with a chair.

Another shot to the back lets Miz knock Shane over to the international commentators station where tables are overturned. A chokeslam puts Shane through the table for two and a monitor shot knocks Shane over a barricade and down into the shadows (cool visual). Miz follows and gets a delayed two as replays show Shane landing on top of a golf cart.

They fight up a camera tower ala HHH vs. Undertaker at Wrestlemania XVII with Miz hitting a Skull Crushing Finale onto a metal platform for two. Shane gets in a shot to the face and climbs to the top of the tower as this isn’t going to go well. Miz follows him up and gets rather stalkerish as he stares Shane down to one knee. Shane begs off so Miz hammers away and suplexes him off the tower onto a crashpad….with Shane landing on top for the pin at 15:38.

Rating: C-. Why not. Why not. WHY THE #$**#%%!!@# NOT! Why shouldn’t we spend five months building this up and giving Shane McMahon a title before having him win at Wrestlemania? I’m sure this will continue, because going from November until April isn’t long enough for a Shane McMahon story. That’s just great.

The match itself was your usual walking around the stadium fight with Miz dominating through most of it until the end. The deal with Miz’s dad was a cool moment but they should have brought him out later on in the match instead of so close to the beginning. Not bad overall, but the ending was stupid.

Paige joins commentary.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Boss N Hug Connection vs. Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. IIconics vs. Nia Jax/Tamina

Bayley and Sasha Banks are defending. The IIconics are a devil (Billie) and a black winged angel (Peyton). Natalya and Beth are in matching pink and black so here’s Bret Hart to stand with them on the stage and then go to the back. It’s a brawl to start with Nia being sent into the steps. We settle down to Peyton getting beaten up but Billie helps her out, allowing them to hit their superhero pose.

Beth gets bulldogged onto Billie’s knee with the kickout making Peyton scream. Natalya comes in for a Hart Attack for two on Billie with Bayley making the save. It’s off to Sasha, who is taken down without too much effort. Natalya and Beth lift Sasha into the air so Bayley makes the save and throws Bayley at Beth for the Bank Statement but Beth powers out as you probably expected.

Natalya puts Bayley and Sasha in the Sharpshooter at the same time until Tamina breaks it up with a superkick. Nia gets back in and starts crushing people, setting up Nia and Tamina going up top at the same time. Beth saves Banks from death by shoving Nia off and Sasha drops the frog splash for two on Natalya. Beth is back up and takes Bayley to the top for a super Glam Slam….but Billie comes in and steals the pin and the title at 10:46.

Rating: D. Some of the spots were good but at the same time, there were too many people running around and it hurt things a lot. I do like the IIconics coming in and stealing the belts as it certainly fits their style better (Do they even have a regular finisher?). But yeah, just too much going on when it didn’t need to be the case. Drop Beth and Natalya and it would have fit better, but I guess the Beth Phoenix fan club needed one more moment?

The helicopter pilots from earlier are here.

We recap Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan. Kingston has basically done everything there is to do in the company outside of winning the World Title. He got close in the Elimination Chamber but couldn’t quite pull it off. Vince McMahon then decided to throw one challenge after another at him with Kofi coming up just short every time until Big E. and Xavier Woods won a tag team gauntlet match to get him the title shot. If Kofi doesn’t win here, I don’t know if he ever will.

Smackdown World Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

Kofi is challenging with New Day in his corner while Bryan has Rowan. Big E. has a present for Kofi, but only after he wins. They go to the mat to start with Kofi sticking the landing off a monkey flip to send Bryan outside. That means the big dive over the top as the roster is watching in the locker room again, where there is a total of one single monitor showing the match. Back in and Kofi tries to jump a little too much, allowing Bryan to pull him down into a surfboard.

Some forearms to the back of the head seem to wake Kofi up and it’s a clothesline into the Boom Drop. Bryan bails outside and Kofi dives after, only to crash onto the announcers’ table ribs first. Back in and we hit the waistlock for a good while as Bryan stays on the ribs. He switches over to the Boston crab, eventually stepping to the side to make it half Liontamer. With that broken, Bryan loads up a belly to back superplex but gets elbowed down three times in a row.

Kofi drops a top rope splash to the back for two but the ribs are banged up again in the process. Trouble in Paradise misses and they go to some rollups for near falls until Kofi kicks him in the head. Bryan stops him with a stomp out of the corner and busts out the YES pose for a nice callback. The running knee is countered into a rollup and SOS gets two but Bryan reverses into the LeBell Lock in the middle of the ring.

The long crawl gets Kofi’s leg on the rope and Bryan is starting to get mad. The kicks to the ribs have Kofi in trouble but he fires back kicks of his own, capped off by a reverse suplex (ok then) for a close two. Rowan goes after New Day but Kofi hits him with Trouble in Paradise, followed by the Midnight Hour on the floor. Bryan’s suicide dive is countered by a right hand but Trouble in Paradise misses, allowing Bryan to hit the running knee for two, causing the fans to build a roof on the stadium and then blow it off.

Bryan has had it and starts stomping the head as Woods and Big E. watch on. The LeBell Lock goes on and the referee checks the arm….which stays up. Bryan hits him in the face and pulls again but Kofi rolls out and hammers away at Bryan, who won’t let go of Kofi’s hand. That lets Kofi stomp away for a change and Bryan is done, setting up Trouble in Paradise to give Kofi the pin and the title at 23:41.

Rating: A-. I mean….they could have gone out there and demonstrated how to make a pimento loaf and it wouldn’t have mattered as long as they had that ending. That was a genuine Wrestlemania moment and you could feel what it meant to everyone. This was incredible and one of the best moments they could have had. Eleven years ago, Kofi had the worst debut match I’ve ever seen and now he’s WWE Champion at Wrestlemania. Not too shabby.

Post match Woods pulls off the cover and unveils the non-wooden title so Kofi can pose with the right design, already complete with custom side plates. Kofi’s kids come in to celebrate and now it’s time to open the present. It’s a new New Day shirt with Kofi holding the title.

We recap the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal.

Bliss, now in a different outfit, goes in to see Jost and Che as they’re checked for injuries. She says don’t worry because they’re in good hands….because Scott Hall and Kevin Nash are the doctors? And giving them prostate exams? Am I missing a joke here?

Booker T. joins commentary.

US Title: Samoa Joe vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is challenging and I believe he’s dressed as Mysterio from Spider-Man. Joe goes straight at him and Rey hits a 619 in less than a minute. Rey’s wheelbarrow bulldog is countered into the Koquina Clutch….and Rey is out at 1:00. So I’m thinking he’s still a bit injured? Booker: “I DID ALL MY PREP WORK FOR THAT???”

Trailer for Batista’s new movie.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre. Reigns is back from leukemia and needed a first singles match. Drew took out both Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins and is promising to do the same to Reigns tonight.

Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre

McIntyre is played to the ring by the New York Police Department Bagpipe Band. Reigns lowers his head to start and gets kicked in the face but what looked to be a powerslam is escaped. That means a legdrop to the back of the head over the middle rope but Drew is right back with the Glasgow Kiss. The chinlock has Reigns in more trouble until Drew takes him outside for a suplex, thereby upping the total amount of trouble.

The reverse Alabama Slam gives Drew two and he tells Reigns he should have said no. A flipping slam off the top has Reigns down again as Drew tells him that he broke the Shield. The Future Shock (Drew: “THIS ONE IS FOR AMBROSE!”) is broken up so Drew slaps him in the face. A big boot sends Drew outside and it’s a Samoan drop on the floor. Back in and the jumping clothesline puts Drew down, followed by the Superman Punch to do it again. The spear finishes Drew at 10:10.

Rating: C-. Totally standard Raw main event with Drew trying but not having a prayer of winning. There’s only so much you can do when everything is against you like this and Drew tried as hard as he can. Just getting this spot is Drew’s big win of the night and that’s not the worst place to be. He’ll be back and do just fine because he’s that good.

Here’s Elias to play some drums rather well. Now he’s at a piano (teleporting from one to the other) and does quite splendidly there too. Now he’s in the middle of the ring with his guitar. Elias the drummer and Elias the piano player play him in and he continues to have chops. Piano and Drum take a bow and now guitar Elias is on his own. The fans sing a little OH WALK WITH ELIAS and Elias promises more versions of himself, including a harpsichord player. As he starts his song, a SPECIAL BULLETIN appears on screen showing….the 1932 World Series?

Babe Ruth calls his shot (yes he did) and hits a home run….and here’s John Cena to Basic Thuganomics. Well you know the Yankees gear is making his skin crawl. Cena says Elias got the worst deal because John Cena is about to turn heel. He feels like he’s watching one of his movies because this whole thing sucks.

Cena isn’t feeling it because this is a wasted wrestling experiment. Cena: “They call me the golden shovel so I’m about to bury your push.” He throws him some nuts and says there’s no AA today, but here’s an FU. Cena lays him out with the knuckles and plants him with the FU. This worked well as Cena is often at his best when he’s making fun of himself.

We recap Batista vs. HHH. Batista wanted one more match with HHH to end their careers on his terms so he beat up Ric Flair to get HHH’s attention. The match is on and it’s No Holds Barred.

Shawn Michaels is on commentary.

Batista vs. HHH

No Holds Barred with HHH’s career on the line. Batista slips through the ropes on the way into the ring before heading outside to glare at Shawn. He even walks around the ring and does his entrance again, this time without the slipping. HHH’s entrance video seems to be inspired by Mad Max and shows a road race. The stage opens up and the car drives out with HHH on the back. I’ve seen worse.

Batista drives him into the corner to start but gets elbowed out to the floor. They fight to the floor with HHH going over the announcers’ table but managing to pull out a tool box to hit Batista in the head. Now it’s a chain to whip Batista in the back and choke a bit before going for some pliers. Batista’s finger gets bent back and HHH stomps on the pliers to make it even worse. Now it’s time for some needle nose pliers, but first he sits in a chair on Batista’s throat. HHH: “THAT’S A NICE NOSE RING!” And then he rips it out with the pliers!

Graves: “Batista won’t be able to be a guardian of the house like this! This guy is my boss!” Batista heads to the floor (Shawn: “His nose is bleeding!” Graves: “YOU THINK???”) and drops HHH onto the announcers’ table three times in a row without breaking the thing. Some chairs to the back keep HHH in trouble and they head back inside with Batista busting out a White Noise of all things.

Back to the floor with Batista putting the steps onto an announcers’ table and clearing off a second one, complete with a point to Shawn. The Batista Bomb off the steps is countered with a backdrop and the table STILL doesn’t break. Good grief where have those tables been all these years? HHH gets up, throws a crotch chop, and spears Batista through the German table. They slowly get back inside and HHH (eventually) finds a sledgehammer.

That just earns him a spear for two but a charge with the hammer is cut off by HHH’s raised boot. The spinebuster connects and it’s time for the Batista Bomb, with HHH dropping the hammer on his way down. That gets two and Batista brings the steps inside. He takes too long punching in the corner (right in front of the steps because wrestlers never learn) and gets powerbombed down onto the steps.

The Pedigree….only gets two as this keeps going. Batista gets in a DDT onto the steps and things stop again but here’s Ric Flair (I was waiting on him) to hand HHH a sledgehammer. HE COULDN’T DO THIS TEN MINUTES AGO??? HHH uses the steps to launch into a sledgehammer shot to the head but Batista pops back up so he can eat the Pedigree for the pin at 24:49. You know, because a JUMPING HAMMER TO THE HEAD isn’t enough to pin someone.

Rating: D+. The first ten minutes of this was very good but, as tends to be the case for almost any HHH match anymore, it went on too long because there was way too much laying around between moves. The ending looked ridiculous as well but that’s another situation. What they did early on was entertaining and brutal (that pliers thing was nuts) but I was looking at the clock near the end, which happens way too often.

Alexa Bliss (outfit #3) has the B Team model AND STILL CHAMPION Daniel Bryan shirts. Ron Simmons comes in for the cameo.

JBL joins commentary.

Kurt Angle vs. Baron Corbin

No Angle video package? Angle snaps off a belly to belly suplex but gets taken down early on. The rolling German suplexes give Kurt two but the Angle Slam is broken up for a big boot. The ankle lock is countered into Deep Six for two and Corbin is already getting frustrated. Kurt hits the Angle Slam for two but Corbin is right back and says You Can’t See Me. That odd taunt lets Angle roll some more German suplexes….and Kurt goes up. The moonsault misses as it always does…and the End of Days gives Corbin the pin at 6:00.

Rating: F. The idea of Kurt Angle losing to Baron Corbin in his last match is a failure. Not because it’s Angle last match. Not because the match wasn’t good. Not because WHY? But because we now have to deal with more Baron Corbin on Raw as more fans’ heads explode as we try to figure out what WWE sees in him. I’m sure this was Angle’s decision and while I can respect that, someone named McMahon should have overridden him.

Post match Angle wants his music played one last time so we can get in one more YOU SUCK. That’s exactly what he gets, as he should.

Intercontinental Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Finn Balor

Lashley, with special contacts in, is defending and Balor is the Demon, making its Wrestlemania debut. Balor hits a spinwheel kick and ax kick to the back, followed by a dropkick to put him on the floor. There’s the big flip dive but Lashley catches him with a spinebuster back inside. Lashley hits a heck of a spear through the ropes to drive Balor to the floor, followed by a regular one for two back inside. Balor gets back up and powerbombs Lashley (good one too) and the Coup de Grace gives Balor the title back at 4:04.

Rating: C. The spots were good (that spear was awesome) and the powerbomb looked awesome, but the problem is they didn’t need to do the Demon here. I get why they did it and it makes sense to do it at Wrestlemania, but at the same time what’s the point in having him do it if he can already beat Lashley and Lio Rush? It’s a good enough match, but this story was them trading the title and then the Demon doing what regular Balor could do.

Alexa (#4) announces the new WWE attendance record of 82,265. She thinks we need a break though so here are R-Truth and Carmella for the world’s largest dance break.

Wrestlemania XXXVI is in Tampa Bay on April 5, 2020.

We recap the women’s triple threat match. Becky Lynch has become the people’s champion, Charlotte is the Smackdown Women’s Champion and the corporate pick and Ronda Rousey is the Raw Women Champion and the unstoppable force. Tonight is winner take all for both belts, but it’s much more about the history because the match is actually headlining the show.

Raw Women’s Title/Smackdown Women’s Title: Ronda Rousey vs. Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

Ronda is Raw Women’s Champion and Charlotte is Smackdown Women’s Champion….and she comes in via helicopter and lands in the parking lot, where a red carpet is rolled out for her in a Horseman homage. Since she has to walk a good ways into the stadium, here are Joan Jett and the Blackhearts to play Ronda to the ring. The bell rings at 12:01am and Becky goes straight for the Disarm-Her on Ronda but gets shoved away so they can all head outside.

That means a Piper’s Pit for both of them and Ronda starts the trash talk. Charlotte gets up and sends Rousey into the barricade, setting up a showdown with Charlotte inside. The Disarm-Her to Becky is broken up and it’s Ronda coming back in to kick Becky in the face. A double powerbomb over the top is countered into a double armbar on Becky and Charlotte. Becky escapes and dropkicks Ronda to the floor for a NASTY crash on her back. Charlotte Downward Spirals Becky into the buckle for two as we look at Rousey landing square on her back again.

Becky is right back with the Disarm-Her but Ronda comes back to life and makes the save. A running knee breaks up the armbar on Becky and Charlotte hits a double Natural Selection for two each. Becky gets sent outside so Charlotte chops Ronda, who tells her to bring it. That’s just what Charlotte does with a backhand to the face so Ronda hits a jumping knee, which is countered into a Liontamer. Becky breaks it up with a bulldog and hits a double DDT for two each.

A super Bexploder gets two on Charlotte, setting up a double high crossbody from Rousey. The double armbar is countered with a double powerbomb Ronda is done for the moment. Becky calls Charlotte to her and avoids a charge, letting Becky kick her to the floor. The Disarm-Her goes on and Rousey uses the ropes to stand up for the break. A missed charge lets Becky get the Disarm-Her in the corner until Charlotte’s big boot breaks it up.

Charlotte starts in on Rousey’s knee and gets the Figure Four but Becky comes off the top with a legdrop for the save. And now, a table because that’s what this match was calling for. Rousey breaks up a powerbomb through the table and turns the table over, saying tables are for b****** (at least the third time she’s used that word so far). Charlotte comes back in for a double spear as Cole’s voice is almost gone.

The table is set up in the corner and Charlotte gets two off a spear to Becky. Rousey gets back up and helps Becky drive Charlotte somewhat through the table to knock her outside. The fight is on and Rousey goes with a Shining Wizard and tries Piper’s Pit….but gets reversed into a crucifix to give Becky the pin and the titles at 22:27!

Rating: B. The ending was straight out of Angle vs. Benoit at Wrestlemania XVII with the submission attempts all match until the quick pinfall. What matters here is Becky defeated Rousey to win the titles as she should have. That was how this show needed to end and it did, even if the ending could have been a bit smoother. Charlotte will be fine and I’m curious to see who goes after Becky as the first victim.

Replays show Rousey’s shoulders were WAY up so there’s your story going forward (if Rousey sticks around). Cole: “Tonight will forever be known as WrestleMANia!” Oh just stop dude. Pyro and posing takes us out.

Overall Rating: B-. Let’s get the things I got wrong out of the way first. First: this was WAY better than I was expecting after last year’s near nightmare of a show. Second: they actually did give us three happy endings, which I said several times would not happen. I’m very glad to be wrong on that, but I certainly was wrong. Third: yeah HHH vs. Batista went on too long and it brought things down. I had high hopes and they didn’t come through.

Now for the good stuff: the right people won (mostly) and the big matches all went to the right people. For the first time in way too long, we had something to cheer about. If that’s it for Lesnar at the moment, thank goodness because he needs to go away for a long time and leave the title here. Rollins will be fine as champion for the summer before someone wins Money in the Bank and takes it from him (It’s going to be Corbin isn’t it?). Becky winning was the right way to go also, even if the ending was a little rushed. There’s one big one left though.

Kofi Kingston is WWE Champion. That was one of the best moments I’ve seen WWE put on in years and might pass Bryan in New Orleans. It felt special and you don’t get that often enough, mainly because there was serious doubt if they could actually pull the trigger. I loved that moment and was happier than I’ve been at something in a long time. I’d have loved to see it close the show, but I get why they couldn’t go there. Incredible moment though.

Overall, the pacing was FAR better than what they’ve had in recent years and while there was a lot of stuff they needed to trim down (despite having multiple matches go less than five minutes), it didn’t drag nearly as bad as it has before. It still needs to be shorter by about an hour (at least) and not everyone needs to be on the show, but for what we got, it was one of the better shows in recent memory and we got a genuine Wrestlemania moment. Well done, and it was close to being great.

Results

Seth Rollins b. Brock Lesnar – Stomp

AJ Styles b. Randy Orton – Phenomenal Forearm

Usos b. The Bar, Aleister Black/Ricochet and Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev – Double Us to Sheamus

Shane McMahon b. The Miz – McMahon pinned Shane after a superplex off a camera tower

IIconics b. Boss N Hug Connection, Nia Jax/Tamina and Beth Phoenix/Natalya – Super Glam Slam to Bayley

Kofi Kingston b. Daniel Bryan – Trouble in Paradise

Samoa Joe b. Rey Mysterio – Koquina Clutch

Roman Reigns b. Drew McIntyre – Spear

HHH b. Batista – Pedigree

Baron Corbin b. Kurt Angle – End of Days

Finn Balor b. Bobby Lashley – Coup de Grace

Becky Lynch b. Ronda Rousey and Charlotte – Crucifix to Rousey

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestlemania XXXV Preview: Raw Women’s Title/Smackdown Women’s Title: Ronda Rousey(c) vs. Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte(c)

History has been made.

And now we have the truly historic moment in something that I didn’t think would ever actually happen. The women’s match is headlining the show to complete the Women’s Revolution, as they’re finally reaching the unreachable goal. With the history out of the way, we get on to the important part, which is the result itself. It should be an obvious ending….but it’s WWE.

With a close of my eyes and a deep breath, I’ll take Lynch to win in the moment that we’ve been building towards for months now. As much as I could see Rousey winning here and then losing the title in her post-pay per view title defense or Charlotte because SHE’S CHARLOTTE and we need to build towards one more (of many) lynch vs. Charlotte match. I’ll go with Lynch and hope that WWE doesn’t overthink things for once in my life.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXXII (2017): The Long Form Begins

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XXXII
Date: April 3, 2016
Location: AT&T Stadium, Arlington, Texas
Attendance: 101,763
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

We had to get here again at some point. I sat in the stadium last year for the better part of seven hours watching this show and was pretty entertained for the most part. However, since then I’ve thought back on it a few times and it seems to go all downhill from there. I’m not sure what to expect from this one other than it’s going to take a few days to get through. Let’s get to it.

As we get ready for the pre-show matches, the place might be 10% full at this point as there was some confusion in opening the gates. There were no lines and it was just a sea of humanity trying to get inside.

Pre-Show: Ryback vs. Kalisto

Kalisto, in some ceremonial bird headpiece, is defending and this is your standard bully vs. smaller guy feud. It’s such a weird visual to see people coming to the ring with so few fans in the seats. I’m not sure if it’s going to make a difference but I expect a three part podcast from Ryback about how unfair it was to his career. We get the big staredown to show the match’s story and to show off Ryback’s new trunks.

Ryback plants him off a headlock and easily throws the champ outside. Kalisto gets in a quick bulldog for two but the kickout sends him outside. Some double knees to the chest get the same result and Ryback gets to show off by gorilla pressing Kalisto up the steps and back inside. We take a break and come back with Kalisto taking a hard elbow to the jaw for two.

A running sitout powerslam (kind of like a Michinoku Driver) gets the same and it’s time to slap at the mask. I know Ryback had some issues but he did seem to be trying to mix things up on offense. He deserves credit for trying at least and it’s true that he had some unfair breaks. I just can’t imagine it was as bad as he made it seem.

A delayed superplex is countered into a crossbody for two and the Shell Shock is countered into a quick DDT. The corkscrew crossbody gets two but Ryback plants him again. Kalisto goes to the corner and pulls a turnbuckle pad off. I’m sure you can piece the next step together but in case you’re a bit slow, Ryback goes head first into the buckle and the Salida Del Sol retains the title at 8:57.

Rating: C. Despite the surprise when the title didn’t change hands, this was a snappy little match with the power vs. speed working quite well. Kalisto is the kind of guy who can perform well against anyone and Ryback’s power was a perfect foil. Ryback is still one of the more interesting what if’s in recent years but it’s pretty clear that the guy isn’t all there sometimes, which can make for some messy negotiations.

Team Total Divas vs. Team B.A.D. and Blonde

Total Divas: Natalya, Brie Bella, Paige, Alicia Fox, Eva Marie

B.A.D. and Blonde: Naomi, Lana, Summer Rae, Tamina, Emma

Yes this story is still happening for reasons I’m sure you can figure out for yourself. If nothing else, Wrestlemania is an excuse to see Brie’s legs, which you don’t get for the rest of the year. This is Lana’s only main roster match to date and uh…..yeah this works. Fox elbows the heck out of Summer to start and a sloppy tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two. We get the big ten Diva staredown and it’s off to a break because the pre-show is basically Raw.

Back from a break with Eva getting booed out of the stadium and suplexing Emma. A hard tag brings in Natalya and it’s off to Naomi for the dancing kicks. Paige comes in to play Bret to Natalya’s Neidhart (that must have made her smile) on a Hart Attack. It’s back to Emma for a wheelbarrow suplex on Paige before Lana is brought in to the pop of the match so far. Some good looking kicks drop Paige and we hear some trash talk with nothing resembling an accent.

Brie tries to come in so Lana mocks the YES chant in a nice touch. Tamina grabs a chinlock as the rapid tags continue (that’s all you can expect in something like this). A Tower of Doom is teased but instead Paige dives onto a bunch of the women at ringside. Back in and Emma stomps on Paige in the corner but a rollup sends Emma’s head into the buckle.

The hot tag brings in Brie to clean house and it’s time for the parade of secondary finishers. Naomi: “FEEL MY GLOW!!!” By that she means barely get grazed by a split legged moonsault and have Lana shoves Brie off the top. Not that it matters as Brie gets a good looking roll into the YES Lock to make Naomi tap at 11:26.

Rating: D+. Yeah the match was a mess but there’s only so much you can put on the wrestling here. With so many people and so many of them being there as eye candy, there’s only so much they can do. This is the last night for the old Divas style with people being able to use the most basic moves but mainly being there for the sake of their looks. There are FAR worse versions of this match though and this was actually fine for the circumstances.

Post match Nikki Bella comes out in her neck brace in what is supposed to be some big moment.

Usos vs. Dudley Boyz

The Dudleys are heels and refusing to use tables. It’s a brawl to start with the non-brothers cleaning house as the crowd is really filling in now. D-Von cranks on Jimmy’s neck and it’s off to Bubba for some trash talk about Rikishi. The snap punches take too long though and Jimmy gets in a superkick, setting up the hot tag to Jey. Everything breaks down and Jey takes What’s Up. Bubba calls for the tables but again takes too long, earning a double superkick. 3D is broken up as well and Jey superkicks D-Von for the pin at 5:20.

Rating: D+. Another nothing match here as we’re just getting ready for the big show and getting this stuff out of the way. You easily could have cut this match off and no one was going to notice it, especially with so little time. The Dudleys were fine at putting people over but did the Usos really need a win like this? Nothing to see here and it really could have been cut as a way to take some of the time off the main show.

Post match the Dudleyz load up some tables but get splashed through them instead. Cool visual if nothing else.

Fifth Harmony sings a very nice rendition of America the Beautiful.

The opening video focuses on the history of Wrestlemania and how it’s never been bigger than this. Various legends and legendary moments are shown, as they certainly should be. This transitions into a preview of tonight’s show, including the matches and of course a focus on the Rock’s unspecified role. Nothing out of the ordinary here but as is usually the case with these things, WWE really knows how to make these things look great. Also of note: Kelsey Grammer of all people narrates this.

I’m not a fan of his but Flo Rida’s My House is one of the catchiest theme songs they’ve had in years.

Inter-continental Title: Kevin Owens vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Sami Zayn

Owens is defending and this is a ladder match. Originally there were just four people involved but the match fell through with Stephanie making a triple threat for the title shot. That match went to a no contest so LET’S JUST THROW EVERYONE INTO THE MESS OF A MATCH. And people wonder why this title isn’t treated as anything important anymore. Sami gets a very nice pop here but Owens’ blows it away, making him the big crowd favorite.

On the other hand, Stardust (in Dusty polka dots) and Sin Cara come out to near silence, which isn’t exactly the biggest surprise. Finally, Ryder gets to hear his music played at Wrestlemania for the first time ever, which really is a cool moment. Ryder: “I’VE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS!!!”

Everyone drops to the floor to start and it’s Owens left alone in the ring. As you might expect, Sami comes in with a ladder and it’s time for the Wrestlemania slugout that you know means the world to them. Kevin gets the better of it and cleans house with the ladder until Cara gets in a ladder shot of his own to take over. Ryder neckbreakers Stardust onto the ladder and Miz throws a different ladder over the top and onto Cara.

Sami and Ziggler knock Miz’s ladder over and there’s the Blue Thunder Bomb, which thankfully doesn’t have to go through the motions of a near fall. Back in and Owens backdrops Sami onto a ladder. Kevin: “THIS IS KO MANIA! GO BACK TO NXT!” Ziggler and Ryder go up but Stardust makes a save to put both guys down again. Cara does the same to Stardust and it’s Sami vs. Miz in the ring.

That doesn’t last long either as Sami dives through a ladder to take out four people at once, followed by the diving tornado DDT on Owens. Cara gets shoved off the ladder but lands on the top rope into a springboard onto another pile of people. Ziggler starts the superkick party so JBL can talk about Shawn Michaels.

Owens comes back in and it’s a double superkick to put everyone down. Stardust pulls out the polka dotted ladder (The Exo Atmospheric Starbird Mark II. I’d call it Larry.) and spins it around his head, only to get caught in a Skull Crushing Finale onto said ladder. Now it’s Sami back in but charging into Kevin’s boot in the corner. A frog splash onto Sami onto a ladder bridged onto the bottom rope crushes everyone (JBL: “That’s the biggest frog I’ve ever seen.”).

Ryder doesn’t quite one up him with the Elbro off another ladder to crush Miz but it still looked cool. I’m not sure why there weren’t more flashbulbs going off either as it was quite the highspot. Ziggler faceplants Ryder off the ladder and comes up favoring his knee. The delay lets Owens powerbomb Ziggler off the ladder and Cara kicks Stardust onto a ladder bridged between the apron and the barricade.

Cara hits the big dive to put Stardust through the ladder, leaving Owens and Zayn to slug it out above the ring. Sami gets the better of it and hits the half and half suplex to drop Owens head first into a ladder (sick looking landing). That lets Sami go up until Miz shoves him over but this time Miz takes too long going up, earning himself a big shove off from Ryder, who climbs the ladder for the huge upset at 15:24.

Rating: B. It’s a fun match and the spots were great but…..RYDER??? I mean…..HE’S ZACK RYDER! As is so often the case, there were too many people in here with guys like Cara and Stardust just being there to add more bodies to the thing. Cut this down to four people (five max) and it’s WAY better but that might mean the title is treated a bit more seriously and we can’t have that. I still think this was supposed to be Neville’s spot until he broke his ankle but it doesn’t really matter.

Ryder’s dad comes in to celebrate with him for a really cool moment.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho. They traded some wins and then formed a short lived team (Y2AJ) but Jericho turned on him when they lost. Jericho was jealous over the AJ STYLES chants and wanted the respect for himself. It’s actually a solid feud and one of the matches people wanted to see, though I could have gone with not having the same match three times before.

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho drives him into the corner to start and the AJ STYLES chants are already going nice and strong. Styles gets in a hurricanrana and a snappy armdrag before sending Jericho outside. That should mean a slingshot dive but Jericho dropkicks him out of the air to take over. Back in and a neckbreaker sets up a dragon sleeper for a change of pace.

AJ tries to fight back but gets pulled down into the Walls for some good old fashioned ASK HIM/AHHHH exchanges. A rope is grabbed so AJ can hit the moonsault into a reverse DDT for two. Both guys head to the corner for a super sitout gordbuster and one heck of a crash. The Pele is countered into a Walls attempt but AJ reverses that into the Calf Crusher.

The Styles Clash is broken up and a Codebreaker gets a delayed two (with Cole making sure to say the near fall was due to the delay in a nice touch). For a change of pace, Jericho loads up AJ for the Styles Clash but gets planted face first for two instead. A rollup exchange sets up the real Styles Clash for two and the springboard 450 gets the same. With nothing else left, AJ heads to the apron and loads up the Phenomenal Forearm, only to have Jericho shove the referee away and catch Styles with the Codebreaker for the pin at 17:08.

Rating: B. Another long match here with an interesting choice for the ending. I know Jericho went on to have one of the best years of his career but at this point he’s just Jericho and Styles hasn’t even been in the company for three months yet. This continues to feel like booking for the sake of the surprise, which is almost never a good thing. Still though, would you expect anything other than very good from these two for seventeen minutes?

Maria Menunos interviews Zack Ryder and talks about getting to take a picture with Razor Ramon and his Intercontinental Title when he was a kid. Tonight though, he and Ramon are taking a picture with RYDER’S Intercontinental Title. I’m not sure if that’s a better line than waiting your whole life for this but Ryder is nailing it tonight.

New Day vs. League of Nations

New Day comes out in a huge box of BootyO’s which tips over….to reveal them in Dragon Ball Z costumes, complete with a tail on Woods. This was originally a Tag Team Title match but was changed to a handicap match before switching to a six man (Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio/Rusev for the League with King Barrett in the corner) for no apparent reason. I mean, other than having New Day lose or something crazy like that. Also, make no mistake about it: New Day was by FAR the most popular merchandise choice of the weekend. You would see that blue shirt all over Dallas and nothing was anywhere near as common.

Kofi and Sheamus start things off as we hear about New Day holding the titles for over 200 days. Somehow they’re not even at the halfway point. Sheamus gets taken down into the corner for the Unicorn Stampede and Woods starts in with some tromboning. Xavier comes in and gets beaten down as JBL has the nerve to compare these two to the Freebirds and the Horsemen.

Sheamus gets in the forearms to the beat of NEW DAY SUCKS and it’s off to Rusev for a running flip senton. Woods sends Del Rio to the floor in a big crash but Sheamus is over there to takes New Day off the apron in a smart move. Not that it matters as Kofi gets the hot tag a few seconds later and house is cleaned again. Trouble in Paradise is broken up and Rusev adds a kick to the head of his own for two.

The fans try to get an UP UP DOWN DOWN chant going and Big E. tags himself in for some suplexes. The spear through the ropes takes out Sheamus, Rusev and Barrett but it does the same to Big E., who thankfully didn’t break his neck. Back in and Woods drops a top rope double stomp for two on Sheamus. Del Rio makes a save and hits a scary double stomp off the apron to crush Kofi. That leaves Woods alone to take the Bull Hammer from Barrett to give Sheamus the pin at 10:02.

Rating: D+. Ok they’re trolling us now right? The League of Nations is one of the most worthless stables in a LONG time and they’re beating one of the most over groups in recent memory? I know it’s designed to set up the post match shenanigans but there are multiple ways to do the same thing without beating New Day. It’s even worse when you consider the group was split less than a month later.

Post match Barrett says there are no three men who can beat them. Cue Shawn Michaels (nearly causing the wife to jump out of the upper deck), Mick Foley and Steve Austin (he’s a bit too big of a star for this group) for the beatdown. The moment is cool but Cole talking about how great of a moment this is feels so stupidly forced. Anyway, house is quickly cleaned (and apparently Austin further injures his already destroyed shoulder in the process). New Day gets back in and dancing ensues with Shawn and Steve getting into it…..until it’s a Stunner for Woods. Beer is quickly consumed.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose. Lesnar is the Beast and needs someone to fight him so Dean was like “eh I’ll do it.” This led to one heck of a beatdown so Ambrose was given some weapons by various hardcore legends (barbed wire bat from Foley and a chainsaw from Terry Funk) because this is a no holds barred street fight.

Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar

Anything goes and Heyman gives Brock a big, over the top intro. JBL gives us a good example of trying to be too smart by calling Lesnar a former NWA Champion (assuming he means NCAA), which of course he never won. Brock hits the first suplex inside of ten seconds and the huge video screen above the ring kept count (It had been all over the place all night with unicorns for the New Day and various three camera shot replays. In other words, it was annoying in a hurry.).

We hit the third German suplex forty five seconds in and Ambrose is on the floor. A few kendo stick shots annoy Lesnar so he rolls two more suplexes. Brock breaks the stick over his knee and there’s number six. Ambrose can barely move so he gives the referee a thumbs up and there are numbers seven and eight before we’re even five minutes into the match. Dean slaps him in the face….and gets suplexed again.

With nothing else to do, Lesnar offers Dean a free shot with the stick, which Brock then stands on. That earns him a low blow (Ambrose: “THAT’S HILARIOUS!”) and now the stick shots work a bit better. Dean goes outside and finds a chainsaw (Heyman’s eyes bug out) but that means a tenth suplex. A laptop off Lesnar’s face allows Dean to chair him a few times, only to have Brock run the ropes for a belly to belly superplex. Dean’s next trick is a fire extinguisher blast to the face followed by some lame chair shots to the ribs.

A dropkick to send the chair into Lesnar’s face works a bit better and the top rope chair drop gets two. For some reason Dean throws in about ten chairs, which he then goes sailing over off another German suplex. The F5 is countered into a DDT onto (or close to) a chair for two. Now it’s time for the barbed wire baseball bat but it’s another German suplex onto the chairs. An F5 onto them is enough to put Dean away at 12:50.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as bad as I remember it but they made it very clear that Ambrose wasn’t on Lesnar’s level or really close to it for that matter. There’s only so much you can do when Lesnar is out there doing nothing but suplexes (other than those and an F5, I actually can’t think of anything else he did in the match) and Dean ran into that problem here. This could have been a lot worse but a little more offense from Ambrose would have been appreciated.

Ric Flair teaches Ryder how to Woo but it turns out to be a Snickers commercial. Ryder takes a bite….and turns into Charlotte. Yeah I don’t get it either but I think Charlotte is the new Intercontinental Champion.

Hall of Fame time with a pretty good class:

Godfather (So completely out of place here.)

Stan Hansen (How was he not in already?)

Big Boss Man (That’s perfectly fine.)
Jacqueline (Fine, just don’t let her talk.)

Joan Lunden (Warrior Award, which seems to have been forgotten this year.)

Fabulous Freebirds (You could argue they were the headliners.)

Snoop Dogg (Harmless. Not exactly PG but harmless.)

Sting (Only entrance and the loudest reaction.)

We go back to the Kickoff Show with Lita unveiling the new WOMEN’S Title (meaning the Divas era is finally over). Oh and remember that this is completely different than the original Women’s Title, meaning it actually has its own lineage.

We recap the Women’s Title match with a really cool WWE Network themed video. It’s a search for Women’s Champions which shows some famous names before a Women’s Revolution search brings up the three of them (with Stephanie’s screeching narration of course). This gets the music video treatment, which it actually deserves.

Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

The title is officially vacant coming in though Charlotte never lost the Divas Title. Banks has Snoop Dogg (her real life cousin) rap her to the ring, which should guarantee her winning the title here. She also has Eddie Guerrero inspired gear and actually looks better in the tights than the trunks. Charlotte (still wearing the Divas Title) has Ric Flair in her corner and debuts the blue gear, with the robe being made from the robe Flair wore in his final match. That’s a very good thing as she rocks the heck out of that outfit. Lita is holding the new title and after the Big Match Intros we’re ready to go.

Everyone trades rollups to start in a fast and pretty athletic sequence until Charlotte kicks Becky in the face. That earns a nice round of applause and you can tell the women are ready tonight. A hurricanrana sends Charlotte across the ring and Sasha throws in an Eddie dance. They botch (not bad) a sunset flip/German suplex spot before Charlotte it sent outside, leaving Sasha to elbow Becky in the face.

Charlotte pulls Sasha outside though and gives her something like a wheelbarrow suplex onto the apron. Back in and Becky (with a lot of eye makeup) grabs an arm trap reverse DDT for two on Charlotte and we hit the cross armbreaker. Flair gets on the apron like a good pop though and it’s time for the Figure Four. That also means that it’s time for Sasha to come in with a frog splash for the save.

Becky grabs something like a Rock Bottom for two on Charlotte and rolls Sasha up for the same. In the first big spot of the match, Sasha dives through the ropes to flip onto Charlotte (possibly catching her foot on the ropes but it didn’t seem to change much). Becky TAKES OUT FLAIR, drawing one of the biggest pops of the night. With Becky and Sasha staggered, Charlotte goes up top and moonsaults onto both of them (looked sweet) for maybe the biggest spot in the history of women’s wrestling.

Back in and double Natural Selection gets a double near fall, much to Charlotte and Ric’s collective frustration. Charlotte loads Sasha up into an electric chair but Becky comes in with a missile dropkick for two on Sasha. The Disarm-Her has Charlotte in trouble until Sasha makes the save with the Bank Statement.

That brings Charlotte back in with the Figure Four on Banks, which is upgraded into the Figure Eight until Becky pulls them to the ropes. Charlotte spears Banks down but gets taken to the top for one heck of a superplex. Banks gets up and goes for the Bank Statement, only to be sent outside so Charlotte can grab the Figure Eight (with Flair holding Banks’ foot) to make Becky tap at 16:08.

Rating: A-. Match of the night so far by a good stretch and pretty easily the best women’s match ever on the main roster to date. There were a few botches here and there but the idea that three women could have a match on par with if not exceeding a lot of the better men would have been unthinkable just a few years ago. Great stuff here and FAR better than I think anyone could have hoped for (save for the logical Banks title win of course).

Charlotte poses and gets some pyro to really make this special.

You know, we’re about two hours and twenty minutes into this show and it’s on pace to be one of the best shows ever. I know there are some booking issues but other than a nothing six man (with a really fun post match segment), nothing has been bad and even that match was fine. However, there are four matches left and nearly TWO AND A HALF HOURS left in the show. I think I know where things are going to start going downhill.

The Cell is lowered for the 33rd time in WWE history. That stat kind of pulls things back a bit no?

We recap Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker and it’s time for this show to start to unravel. So Shane came back in January and talked about how Vince and Stephanie had ruined everything. There was something about a lockbox with evidence of Vince doing something bad (never specified) and Shane threatened to open it if he didn’t get to run Raw (which he said basically meant WWE). Vince decided to put it up in a match with Shane facing Undertaker in the Cell. Undertaker’s Wrestlemania career was put on the line and that’s about it for anyone buying this as anything serious.

At the end of the day, it’s really, REALLY hard to believe that Undertaker was in any real danger against Shane, who hadn’t wrestled a single match in seven years. It’s kind of hard to buy this as a competitive match, but there’s a very good chance that this was supposed to be John Cena instead of Shane but injuries derailed the plans (a major problem all night). To their credit, this match led to something like tens of thousands of tickets being sold in a hurry so it was definitely a draw and worthy of this kind of a push.

Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker

Inside Hell in a Cell. Shane does the high energy entrance and brings his kids out to dance to the ring with him as Shane Bucks fall from the ceiling in a cool moment. Apparently Shane wants to take Undertaker’s cardio, which you know Shane has in droves due to, you know, everything that works against him. Some right hands have no effect on Undertaker so he punches Shane down with one shot. Remember: best pure striker ever in WWE, which you can add to the list of reasons this should be a squash.

Snake Eyes into the big boot have Shane reeling but he gets Undertaker to chase him and stomps away. That earns him a throw into the cage wall and the apron legdrop as this is total dominance in the first five minutes. The Last Ride gets two and the match is instantly a complete mess at 5:32. I’m sorry but there’s no way I can buy this no matter what WWE wants to tell me. That move has beaten World Champions but SHANE MCMAHON, in his mid 40s and seven years removed from his last match, kicks out of it after getting beaten up? Just….no, period.

Undertaker grabs the steps but gets pulled into a weak triangle choke. That’s countered into a chokeslam onto the steps for another two as Shane is suddenly the offspring of Super Cena and Hulk Hogan. Undertaker misses an elbow onto the steps so Shane sits on them and teases Undertaker into a drop toehold onto said steps. I don’t buy Undertaker as being that stupid, nor do I buy the cover that follows.

Shane punches him in the face off the situp so Undertaker gets him in the Hell’s Gate, which Shane reverses into a Sharpshooter. You know, because anyone can survive THREE UNDERTAKER FINISHERS IN TWELVE MINUTES. Undertaker easily powers out so Shane punches him into the corner, which is totally enough to have Undertaker in trouble. Coast to Coast into a trashcan gets two and Shane grabs….boltcutters.

He cuts the Cell open but Undertaker tackles him through the wall and onto the announcers’ table. A monitor to the head looks to set up a Tombstone onto the table but Shane reverses into a sleeper. That’s reversed with a backwards crash through the table as this is getting even more ridiculous. A toolbox to the head puts Undertaker on a table…..and Shane climbs the Cell.

The big elbow completely misses (because it would have killed Undertaker) and you can see the crash pad deflate as Shane lands. Cole: “FOR THE LOVE OF MANKIND!” It was a terrifying spot live but now it’s much more silly than anything else, which isn’t the point in a match like this. Then again this stopped being anything serious or really interesting as soon as the Last Ride only got two so it’s a moot point. Shane says bring it again so Undertaker carries him inside for the Tombstone and the pin at 30:06.

Rating: D-. WAY too long here with a match that should have been a glorified squash (which this was) that ran only about half this long. The idea that Shane could hang in there with Undertaker under these or any circumstances (including a bunch of run-ins, which never happened), is a combination of insulting and stupid.

It’s a ridiculous story (both the buildup and the match itself) and a terribly dull match with one big spot not being able to make up for anything. This was more fun live but GOOD NIGHT it does not hold up. Cut it down to twenty minutes at most and this is much better but as it is, this is horrible. On top of that, allegedly Shane was supposed to win until Undertaker shot it down, which he certainly should have done. The show has hit a major wall now and it’s going to need something special to bring them out.

Shane is taken out on a stretcher as the announcers brag about how awesome he is, which is why a lot of people don’t like seeing Shane wrestle. Yeah he’ll do a bunch of stuff but he gets WAY more credit and praise than he deserves. Shane gives a thumbs up on the way out.

Reason #1 this show crashed so hard: from the time the Cell was lowered to the time we cut away from Shane: 50:43. That’s a lot of time to spend on something that…..bleh.

The pre-show panel chats for a bit.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Fandango, Damien Sandow, Shaquille O’Neal, Big Show, Viktor, Diamond Dallas Page, Konnor, Tatanka, Jack Swagger, R-Truth, Goldust, Curtis Axel, Baron Corbin, Adam Rose, Heath Slater, Tyler Breeze, Mark Henry, Bo Dallas, Darren Young, Kane

O’Neal is a surprise, or as much of one as you can be when his face popped up on the big screen during the other entrances. We get the big staredown between Shaq and Show but they have to stop and double chokeslam Kane. Everyone else is sent outside (none eliminated) until Fandango comes in and gets eliminated. Sandow (POP) does the same and is eliminated as well, allowing everyone else to come in and eliminate Shaq and Show. Somehow, that means we NEED to see them at Wrestlemania the next year, despite almost no one asking to see it. Everyone stands around until Page hits the Diamond Cutter on Viktor and tosses him with ease.

Konnor gets rid of Page a few seconds later as this is already pretty dull stuff. The yet to be official Golden Truth eliminates Konnor and Tatanka goes on a warpath that no one was asking for. Corbin tosses Tatanka to no reaction and Kane backdrops Swagger out. The Social Outcasts of all people clean house and get rid of Goldust and Truth. We get a victory lap until Kane and Corbin get rid of Rose and Axel.

We’re down to Corbin, Kane, Young, Breeze, Henry and Dallas with Kane chokeslamming Baron. Henry comes back in after being on the floor for six minutes to eliminate Slater and Breeze to get us down to five. Kane and Young (the oddest couple until….Young and Bob Backlund I guess) get rid of Henry before Kane dumps Dallas and Young. Corbin sneaks in from behind though and eliminates Kane to win at 9:43 and set off the NXT chants.

Rating: D. This was your annual “hey we still have jobs” battle royal but for once they let someone have the win to elevate them up the card. Corbin hits the ground running and odds are he’s going to be challenging for the Intercontinental Title at next year’s show. That’s how you introduce a star and it worked very well. The battle royal itself didn’t though with too many dead spots, but at least they kept the pace up after the first year’s was over thirteen minutes and last year’s was over eighteen.

Wrestlemania XXXIII is in Orlando.

Here are the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders to perform, which is never a bad thing. They’re followed by something that’s a bit more hit or miss: Rock’s annual Wrestlemania appearance. This time it’s a bit different though because he has a FLAMETHROWER. He lights a ROCK sign on fire and this eats up even more time on a show already over three and a half hours long with the main event to go.

After the long entrance and some standing around, Rock FINALLY says his first words nearly eight minutes after the cheerleaders started. We get some crowd praising and talk of Rock babies as there’s a loud echo on everything Rock says (kind of cool because of just how big the place is) and the new attendance record of 101,763 is announced. Yeah I know it’s probably not quite that high and much like in 1987, I really don’t care that much.

Rock says it’s about to get good…and we’ve got Wyatts. Thankfully this means we get the Fireflies in the stadium, which was one of the coolest visuals I’ve ever seen. It actually lit up the ring, which is pretty impressive for a bunch of phones. Bray introduces himself and says he chose Rock because Rock represents a lie. Rock is supposed to be the People’s Champion but this is Bray’s moment. He’s going to eviscerate Rock on the grandest stage of them all and the people have to watch.

Rock mocks the eviscerating line and thinks Bray has been hitting the bong. We get some jokes about Rowan and Strowman (Is this where Rock buried Bray? I never can tell with these things.) before Rock praises Bray for having it all (BURIAL! HE’S BURYING HIM! SOMEONE GET A SHOVEL TO HELP BRAY!) and getting 100,000 people on their feet. Rock accuses Bray of eating Hot Pockets but Bray says he’s here to kick the door down. However, Rock has an idea: let’s have a match! We get a referee and Rock says pick any Family member as he takes off the workout gear to reveal trunks.

The Rock vs. Erick Rowan

Rock Bottom, six seconds. Again, I saw this called Rock burying the Wyatts. You know, because people are worried about ERICK ROWAN needing protection.

The Family surrounds Rock and heeeere’s Cena for the save. House is cleaned, signature moves are hit and Rock welcomes Cena back (he would be back in about a month) to FINALLY end this, 28:15 after the cheerleaders came out (I’m keeping time for a reason in case you couldn’t tell).

It’s 11:03pm so let’s recap the main event. Roman Reigns was World Champion but HHH couldn’t get him to go corporate so it’s Austin vs. Vince again. HHH made Reigns defend the title in the Royal Rumble, which he of course entered and won to set up this match. People really weren’t all that interested but you knew this was going to happen several months back. You know, because THIS TIME FOR SURE it’s going to get Reigns over.

WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. HHH

HHH is defending and here’s Stephanie in what I think is a Mad Max look. It’s a closeup of her face in front of a barren wasteland as she talks about how this is their world and we’re all just living in it. Basically all hope is lost and we need to give up on this ridiculous belief that anyone can save us from the Authority.

Then an army of people in skull masks (NXT wrestlers with Enzo Amore at the front) carrying WWE Titles comes to the ring to set up HHH’s entrance where Stephanie gets to show off her legs. Again, just like the last two years, the big face gets to follow this rather cool (and over the top) HHH entrance. But hey, at least we get the annual HHH is Cool moment right?

As ridiculous (and as much as they’re begging the fans to boo them instead of Reigns) as this is, it’s NOTHING compared to the outright hatred that Reigns receives. The man is booed out of Texas and allegedly the audio had to be turned down in response. If that’s true…..I really wouldn’t be surprised.

Since these two can’t stand each other, they go to a headlock and armbar to start. The fans unload on Reigns when he shoulders HHH, only to get hiptossed to the floor. Back in and HHH works on the arm some more until Reigns shoves him into the corner for more incredible booing. A lockup goes nowhere as this is already starting to look like one of HHH’s disastrous main events.

Some hard forearms to the back of Reigns’ head put him down. The comeback is so soundly booed that it’s almost comical. A Stunner over the top rope sets up the apron dropkick for one on the champ. Stephanie offers a quick distraction so HHH can get in a low blow (FACE POP) and Reigns goes down again. HHH goes with some hard right hands to the face and the spinebuster gets two.

They head outside with HHH sending him face first into the announcers’ table (which he did a few weeks back to break Reigns’ nose). Another comeback is cut off and Reigns is thrown into the German announcers. Back in and Reigns uppercuts him out of the air and hammers away, only to have HHH bail from the Superman Punch. They trade whips into the steps until Reigns spears him through the barricade for almost no reaction. This is basically the same problem as HHH vs. Jericho in 2002: there’s no reason to believe the champ has a chance so there’s no reason to care until Reigns hits a spear in the ring.

Back in again and Reigns is holding his arm but HE’LL CONTINUE! And without a thirty minute nap like at the Rumble! Oh he’s got his working boots on tonight. HHH puts on a Fujiwara armbar of all things because the main event of Wrestlemania with a match that’s supposed to be based on hatred is built around a bad arm. See, when Daniel Bryan did that, it was entertaining. When Reigns is doing it, the fans are cheering the evil villain.

Reigns powers out of something like the Rings of Saturn but can’t knock the confetti off of HHH’s head. It’s back to the armbar until Reigns FINALLY gets the break with a powerbomb. That goes nowhere so WE HIT ANOTHER ARMBAR BECAUSE THIS MATCH NEEDS TO BE ALL LONG AND EPIC AND STUFF! Another powerbomb breaks the hold again but the spear is countered into a Pedigree which is countered into a backdrop to the floor.

The fans start singing to placate their boredom until the spear gets….no count because Stephanie pulls the referee out. Now Stephanie gets in to yell at the referee, earning herself a spear and turning Reigns into the biggest star in the world (for about thirty seconds). If my memory serves me right, she hasn’t taken a bump in nearly a year since then, or really had anything bad happen to her that lasted more than a day or two.

The Pedigree gives us the first hot near fall of the match and it’s the Superman Punch to drop HHH. The second spear is broken up with a knee and Stephanie hands HHH the sledgehammer (She took a spear less than four minutes ago so OF COURSE she’s capable of doing that. This woman is scary.). Not that it matters as another Superman Punch and the spear give Reigns the title back at 27:04.

Rating: D. And a lot of that is just for having the guts to go out there and do a match this boring in this spot on this show. This match was twelve minutes of HHH working on the arm and then getting into the main event style that went exactly where we knew it was going. The lack of drama or really anything interesting (save for that Stephanie spear) killed this and there was no recovering given how long the thing ran.

This needed to be about fifteen minutes shorter and we would have had the same result: Reigns winning and getting booed out of the building because people just don’t want to see him in this spot. There was a total lack of hatred and violence here and it really dragged things down, which is far too often the case for any given HHH match. It’s one of the worst Wrestlemania main events ever and there’s really no way around that.

A quick celebration sets up the traditional long music video to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: D. I can’t think of a single show that is so completely different from the first half to the second. The worst thing about the first few matches is the booking with the worst match being a somewhat dull six man tag. If you cut this off after the Women’s Title, this is one of the better pay per views I’ve seen in several years.

Then the Cell was lowered, kicking off the last “four” matches (counting Rock vs. Rowan) and the long segment. When you add up the Cell, the Rock segment and the main event, they all combined for over two hours. That’s two REALLY bad matches and a segment that went on far too long (but was entertaining at times) adding up to an episode of Smackdown. Clip off fifteen minutes from Shane vs. Undertaker (and another five from the intro/post match stuff), ten from Rock’s stuff (say, him playing with a flamethrower) and AT LEAST ten off the main event and this is instantly a less horrible show.

Unlike most pay per views, Wrestlemania is almost exclusively remembered for two to three matches more often than not. Therefore, it’s a major problem when your two main matches are long and rather horrible. It was hard to keep interest in this show even sitting in the stadium and that should not happen. There’s a lot of good stuff in the first half though and switching the order up would have helped out a lot. Unfortunately that’s completely the opposite of what they did as it was all stupid booking overshadowing the good and then REALLY bad stuff covering the rest of the show.

It’s easy to see why this show is remembered so poorly when the second half is just such a wreck. It felt like a huge way to have the fans get annoyed while WWE laughs and says “we’ve got all your money”. You shouldn’t leave Wrestlemania talking about how bad the show was when there was so much good going on. The bad completely outweighs the good here and there was no way anything else was going to be remembered. Awful show that lives down to its reputation.

Ratings Comparison

Zack Ryder vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B

Redo: B

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: B

New Day vs. League of Nations

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker

Original: D

Redo: D-

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D

Redo: D

The Rock vs. Erick Rowan

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

HHH vs. Roman Reigns

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

Oh yeah I was still feeling the in-person vibe when I watched this back the first time. A C- is WAY too generous.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/04/08/wrestlemania-xxxii-strap-yourselves-in-this-is-a-long-one/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6